#musings (nobody cares if you're losing yourself)

[sanguimania]

ic tags

visage (human wreckage that you love)

about (crash the cemetery gates)

aesthetic (blood runs down the wall)

musings (nobody cares if you're losing yourself)

wardrobe (just give us war worn lipstick)

headcanons (must fix your heart)

crack (goth in denial)

music (break this awkward silence)

wishlist (hear the call)

main verse (fragments of my skull begin to fall)

[lovelybunnyxx]

The Joker and the Assassin ― Illumi Zoldyck & Hisoka Morow

TW: Tonpa being Tonpa. Vague description of arms being turned into flower petals.

A/N: A few people said they were interested in the concept, so here's the first chapter! I usually try to keep your personality pretty vague in my writings, but I had to give you a little bit of a distinct personality in this one. I hope you don't mind!

❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥

The exam site for the 287th Hunter's Exam is much...simpler than you had expected it to be. 

It's no secret how dangerous the Hunter's Exam is. Most people don't even manage to make it to the exam site, and those who do often don't make it out. So admittedly, when imagining what the exam site would look like, you had expected it to be lavish. But the bare room you just entered is the opposite of extravagant, with nothing but concrete floors and walls. It just reminds you of the shitty apartment you left behind in Yorknew City. But then again, you suppose that's the point.

"Here's your badge; make sure you don't lose it. You're examinee #332," a feminine voice forces you out of your thoughts. The woman standing behind a large desk at the entrance holds out a badge for you to grab, making you blink in surprise before nodding and taking it from her.

"Oh, okay..thank you," you say with a polite smile. The woman simply nods, focusing her attention on the next examinee checking in. You glance around, and you can't help but think that everyone else looks so..intimidating. It makes you feel out of place, but you force the feeling down, reminding yourself that you also proved that you were worthy of taking the Hunter's Exam. You grip the straps of your backpack harder and walk further into the room, finding a place to stand where nobody else is.

“Excuse me. You’re new here, right?” a man asks, approaching you with a smile. You glance at the badge on his shirt, seeing that it says 16. You nod, making his smile widen even more. "I thought so! It’s my 35th attempt, so I’ve gotten pretty good at remembering past participants,” the man explains.

You raise an eyebrow in surprise. That's...a lot. "You've failed that many times? You must be pretty determined to get your license."

“Yeah, sure am! If you have any questions, feel free to ask me. You could say that I’m an exam expert. I’m Tonpa, by the way.” The man says with a smile, extending his hand. You nod, introducing yourself and shaking his hand with a polite smile. "You know, it'll probably be a while until the exam starts. How about a juice to hold you over?” Tonpa offers, digging out a can from his bag and holding it out to you.

"Yeah, sure. Thanks," you say, taking the can with a friendly smile. Tonpa just grins, waving off your words.

"Oh, no problem at all. Just helping a newbie out," he chuckles, waving at you and walking over to a new group of people who just arrived. "Good luck with the exam." 

You open the can and are about to take a drink when a monotone voice speaks from behind you. "You shouldn't drink that." You look behind you, coming face-to-face with a twitching man with large pins in his face.

"I..shouldn't?" You ask in confusion. The man nods but gives no further explanation. You go to ask him why, when the sound of a man's scream quickly catches your attention.

You turn your head and see the screaming man's arms disintegrate into petals and he falls onto the floor. “My, how unusual. It seems this poor man’s arms have turned into flower petals,” a red-haired man muses with a sly grin. “Now you see them. Now you don’t. You should be more careful, and do apologize if you bump into someone," he reprimands mockingly.

You stare at him in disbelief as he then walks away from the man's fallen body as if it is nothing. You turn around to continue the conversation with the man with all of the large pins in his head, but you see that he has already walked off to talk with the red-haired man.

A sinking feeling in your gut tells you that this is only the beginning.

[somnambulic-thing]

wrong number 2.2k

A/N: Just had an idea for a fic I will very probably never write in a fully flashed out way because I have a million wips and no attention span and no deisre to have more wips but don't want to fully let this idea go to waste so here it goes in very shortened form and probably very messy and rough.

Eddie x afab!reader || imagine them in their early/mid 30s

cw: mental health themes, reader has a broken leg, angsty shit, fluff, happy end

You moved cities to have a fresh start after a rough time came to an even rougher but long overdue end. You know nobody here, a clean slate to draw new blueprints on.

Two weeks in and despite your grumpy hermit ways, you are friendly with some of your neighbours already. They are nice, helpful people which is a win you take like it was a million bucks.

Three weeks in, you fall down a flight of stairs, break your leg and bump your head. Brilliant.

Back from the ER you sink into your bed, looking at still unpacked boxes and biting back bitter tears of frustration when your phone beeps. You eye it suspiciously, anxious your past might be knocking already, bloodhounds of days past sniffing your weakend state and their chance to inflict a little more pain.

You figure you're overracting, turn on the sceen and find a message from an unknown number.

[Hey Rick. Sorry to drop this on you on such short notice, but I won't make it to your get-home-from-prison party tonight. I can swing by next week with a six-pack or something. You have a good time, yeah? I'll explain when we see each other.]

[Hey there. I'm afraid you got the wrong number. I don't know any Ricks. But gratulations to him from me for getting out of prison, when you get a chance. Unless he's a serial killer or something comparable. Then I want you to run.]

[Well, shit. Sorry.]

And then after a few seconds: [I get back to you in case I need a place to hide.]

And somehow this sparks a conversation that lasts for hours. His name is Eddie, you learn after some minutes of back and forth which are unsuspectedly remarkably funny. But he's surprisingly also really concerned about your leg and your mild concussion and the fact that you mentioned you will give yourself one day of rest and then try to catch up on and get as much stuff done as you can with your cast and crutches. Luckily you can work from home, you say. Eddie isn't sure how he feels about that.

He makes you swear you take it easy. He asks if there are people that can take care of you and you lie to that concerned stranger who is the first person to make you laugh out loud in a too long time. You tell him your friends are taking turns to look after you. Why lie to a stranger? It's complicated... He keeps checking in, keeps chatting with you about all kinds of things all day long no matter what he has to do: Work, band practice, DnD, being out with friends or his uncle, Eddie keeps lighting up your phone all day long. The later the day, the deeper your conversations and you soon get the feeling that Eddie isn't all just fun and jokes but when you actually try to poke softly, he evades you.

[When you feel better and still are interested in my bullshit, I'll share. Promise.]

Okay, fine. Why would he want to trust you with his private struggles? He's just a stranger, with friends and an support system, who probably will lose interest to invest his time into you sooner than he himself is expecting. Which is fine... really... would be fine if he wasn't really funny... and interesting with a hundred interests and hobbies... and so weird and oddly caring... and living on the other side of the country.

But four days in and you wake up with a text from him, asking you if you finally could sleep a little better than the days before.

And then at 3am and endless hours of exchanging messages filled with thoughs and musings and dreams, he offers to send you a copy of a book he is sure you would enjoy. That he really needs... you to read for important reasons. One of them is to remedy the boredom inflicted by bedrest in those hours Eddie is busy and can't entertain you.

You give him your address almost without second thought, despite your mind telling you to maybe think about it first...

You had avoided anything outside of texts - no pictures, no calls - and he hadn't pressed the matter by himself. Which was a relief because you're not sure if you could witstand the temptation if he were to offer.

Getting more pieces of him... It just felt too dangerous. But a book was just a book, right?

You rely on your 72 year old neighbour for food and other errands and chores around your place. Mrs P is such a sweet old lady eager to help as much as she can, bending over backwards for you. So you naturally try to bother her only when it's really dire.

Seven days in and you see the postman stuff a small parcel into your mailbox. You hurry to snatch your crutches, not even thinking about what you are doing and you limp down the six stories to your mailbox way too fast. Your head is not happy and neither is your leg and it takes you and your ego ages and all your strength to get back up to your apartment.

You fall into your bed, exhausted, sweaty and in pain and crying in frustration and you fall asleep on the package from Eddie before you can even think of opening it.

Your phone rings and wakes you up when it's already pitch black outside. You've slept most of the day away.

Answering the phone on autopilot, still half asleep you don't check the name on the screen.

"Yeah?" you drawl.

"Jesus fucking Christ you're alive."

"What--? I--"

"I haven't heard from you in hours and your messages sounded so antsy and sad all day and I had a bad feeling somehow. Are you ok? Did I wake you?"

"Eddie?"

"Yeah, sweetheart. Hi, that's my voice. Anxious edition."

You're overwhelmed. Finding no words while his words dig deep trenches of longing into your brain which are hard to get out of...

"You still there?"

"Uh-hn, yeah..."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. I just woke up, like you said. That's my voice. Sleepy edition."

And then he laughs. Oh god, what a sweet sweet sound.

"Hmm, sorry I just was really worried here..."

You tell Eddie there is nothing to worry about but that he's very sweet and he asks you if you have a little time to chat, tells you he likes your voice, likes it a lot and of course you have time but something weighs on you and the flutter of bats in your stomach.

You can't say if it's the aftershock of your staircase ordeal or the fact that your wonderful stranger keeps getting more and more real and more and more precious or a mixture of both. Suddenly there is silence on the other end of the line.

"Eddie? You still there?"

"Something's off."

You shuffle and feel the parcel poke into your ribs. You dig it out from under you, face heating up from two sources - the gift and his tone - and you start to fumble the parcel open.

"I'm sorry--"

"Don't be. I just want to help. Let me help."

You finally fully unwrap the book. It's a well loved worn paperback copy. You run your fingertips over every wrinkles and cracks in the cover. Your voice sounds dazed to your own ears when you speak.

"I got your book..."

"Oh. Okay, yeah, great. And?"

You notice the excitement in his voice, notice that it matches your heartbeat when you open the book and find it full of notes. On some pages the margines are completly filled with Eddie's toughts.

"I just unwrapped it, like, ten seconds ago."

"Oh."

"I didn't realize you would send me... such a personal thing... looks like a diary..."

"Kinda is. Too weird?"

You stare at his handwriting which is somewhat of an elegant scratch and all those little sketches and something inside you gives way.

"I'm not okay..."

"I know. Tell me?"

You tell him that you lied, that there were no friends despite your eldery neighbor looking after you and you tell him about your little ordeal this afternon and about feeling tired and lonely and scared and starved for joy and he listens through it all.

Now it will be too much, you think but then you look at the book in your lap and keep talking. When you're done, there is silence on the other end.

"You still there."

"Processing."

"Mad?"

"Nope."

"Too much?"

"For me?" He chuckles. It's bitter and wonderful. "Sweetheart, it's not me who's dealing with all that shit right now. If you can handle living it, I can handle listening to it..."

"I hear you swallowing a but."

"But I know what you're talking about..."

You talk a little longer and despite him saying everything is alright, something is different. He seems distant, distracted, not fully with you. You keep leafing through that book, gently tracing the lines that are proof of his existance, marks he left in the world, preparing for him to ask you to send it back as soon as you can. You prepare for him to realize this was a mistake. A charity case gone wrong.

Eventually you get tired and a headache and he tells you to go rest, voice soft and deep and you're preparing for this to be the last time you'll hear it.

"Sleep well, yeah?"

No more sweetheart.

"I will. You too."

"See you tomorrow."

"Bye."

You have a restless night and wake up to a message from him.

[Good Morning. How did you sleep?]

You smile, feeling stupid, like you overreacted and you exchange some messages but they are short and flat and there is still no sweetheart. Around noon, your phone has gone silent. Inside your chest, the echoes of disapointment are deafening.

You bury yourself in his book, and it feels like you're having a conversation with him through his notes for they are like direct replies to your own thoughts about the story unfolding. You can't put it down, probably look up from it for the first time in hours late in the evening when you're full on crying, holding the book away from you to not get tears or snot on it.

And then there is a knock at your door. Three sharp raps. Quick.

And you think it must be Mrs P with your groceries, you feel guilty that she has to carry all the stuff upstairs while her knee is bothering her. You make your way out of bed, get your crutch and slowly move towards the door.

"Coming!"

You realize you still have the book in your hand and you wedge it under your arm to open your door and--

"Hi."

Your heart is racing as your mind tries to keep up with what is happening. You consider pinching yourself, consider reaching out to touch him, see if he's made of flesh and blood or delirium, feel the dip of a frown-made crease betwen his brows under your fingertips, the fine stubble on his cheeks under the slide of your thumb.

"That's my face. Worried edition... why are you crying?"

You lean against the crutch, wipe at your cheeks with one hand, dry your fingers on your shirt and pluck the book from under your arm, holding it up wordlessly. Eddie's face lights up in a big, wide, gorgeous smile. Now there are dimples you want to explore. Suddenly the floor is moving.

"Easy, easy." Warm hands steady you. You hear the door fall close behind you and then it finally dawns on you.

The dreamy guy from inside your phone is inside your flat.

He's holding you steady by your shoulders on outstreched arms, searching your face with big, incredibly dark eyes.

God he's fucking beautiful.

"You gonna faint, beautiful?"

You shake your head. That's all you can do.

"I'm going to use your very understandable shock to ramble for a moment, okay? Okay. The obvious first. What the fuck am I doing here without invitation? Offering you my help. I rearranged all my shit and I can stay for two weeks, if you like. I have a hotel room booked and ready if you don't want me to stay the nights. Next: Why didn't I ask on the phone first? Because I kinda feared you would just say no and be all tough and stupid about needing help. I am way more charming in person and I was counting on me actually being here, a real guy, showing you that I mean it, would make it easier to convince you... Am I pushy? Yeah. I guess I am. But... if you really want me to piss off again, I will piss off. We pretend that I was just getting back my book because you're not fit to get to the post office right now and I'll never bother you again... but I could stay and make you dinner while you tell me which part of the book made you cry, decide over my fate when you're fed and calmed down? I left a whole load of food with your neighbor downstairs. Nice lady. Thinks you're a stubborn thing, by the way."

You swallow around something enourmous and try your vocal cords on something simple.

"Hi."

He tilts his head, smiles softly.

"Hey sweetheart."

You inhale deeply. Your exhale either carries bravery or invites doom but suddenly you're really, really hungry...

"You're really here."

"Yeah, shit, I know... to be honest, my knees are really wobbly right now?"

"You're crazy."

"Hmm, totally... bad case... started about a week ago..."

And there you see it. He's nervous too. That finally makes him real.

"So," you say, reaching out to cup his cheek, your touch coaxing out those dimples again. "What's for dinner then?"

[mrsgiovanna]

Fighting Imperfections (Don Giorno x Wife!Reader)

I'm sorry, this is just me projecting. I can't remember if I posted this before, but here goes.

Word count: 1.2 k

Warnings: sad, self depreciating reader.

You sighed heavily as you walked out the last of Giorno’s guests. Normally the murmurs of how beautiful of a couple you two are would make you beam with joy, but today it annoyed you because it only amplified your insecurities. Another day… of smiling through the alternating pain and emptiness. Your cheeks hurt, but the physical pain was welcomed, it was so much easier to bear than the ache that thumped in your chest with every heartbeat- a painful reminder that you were still breathing. As the last car rounded the corner away from your luxurious home, your shoulders finally slumped and you trudged away from the door. The master bedroom was one of the few places where you felt safe enough to let your tumultuous emotions wash over you, so there you went.

You had struggled with these negative emotions for many years, losing chunks of time to this unshakeable melancholy. They were difficult to predict or counter. You had locked the door behind you, wanting to try and restore some semblance of calm to your demeanor before facing Giorno again. You threw off the gorgeous designer dress and took a shower before throwing on something soft and comfortable. You had every intention of rejoining your husband but just getting yourself through that little routine had drained whatever energy you had left. He'd be better off catching up with your shared associates though, you mused, feeling as though you wouldn't add anything valuable to their video conferences. Firmly tucked away, drawing your knees towards your chest, you allowed the floodgates to open and let everything out. Usually, a good cry would take care of some of the negative emotions, but this time, it didn't seem to work.

Intrusive thoughts about the worst scenarios plagued your mind despite trying to push them aside. You tried thinking about the good things and how much you had been blessed with but it always morphed into a scenario in which you would ultimately be left alone… so you thought about Giorno and how he makes a daily promise to never leave your side. But you had lost so much, what if he was just lying to you and you'd eventually have to deal with losing him too…

No…

You took as deep a breath as your constricted chest would allow you to and tried to focus your attention on something positive.

Giorno… you thought of him more and your heart ached for a different reason. He loved you, you knew that, but your mind had always managed to convince you that he would be better off with someone else, someone beautiful and vibrant, someone worthy of him because beneath it all you're just a broken doll. The repair is near perfect and nobody can see the fault lines where you cracked, but you feel every fracture, constantly reliving each event that put the cracks there in the first place.

You felt the bed sink on one side as a large comforting hand rubbed your back in circles before pulling back the covers you had buried yourself under.

"You know I'd end anyone who hurts you?"

"I know…"

"So what do I do when you're the one hurting yourself?"

Giorno's glassy eyes didn't leave your face, searching for an answer to his question.

You met Giorno's gaze, feeling a mixture of vulnerability and love in his eyes. His concern was evident, and it touched you deeply. Taking a moment to compose yourself, you reached out and held his hand, intertwining your fingers with his.

"I'm sorry," you whispered, your voice filled with raw emotion. "I don't want to hurt myself, but sometimes it feels like I can't escape these thoughts. They consume me, and I can't help but doubt myself, doubt our love."

Giorno's grip on your hand tightened, his thumb gently caressing the back of your hand. "You are not a broken doll, my love," he said, his voice filled with sincerity. "You are the most beautiful and resilient person I know. I fell in love with every part of you, including the cracks. They are a part of your story, a testament to your strength."

Tears welled up in your eyes as his words resonated with you. It was moments like these that reminded you why you fell in love with him in the first place. He saw beyond your insecurities and loved you unconditionally.

"I'm trying, Giorno," you replied, your voice wavering. "I'm trying to believe in myself, in us. But sometimes it's overwhelming."

Giorno leaned in, pressing a tender kiss to your forehead. "You don't have to go through this alone," he assured you. "I'm here for you, always. We'll face these demons together, and I'll do whatever it takes to help you heal."

Feeling his love and support envelop you, a glimmer of hope sparked within your heart. With Giorno by your side, maybe you could overcome these insecurities and find the peace you longed for.

You snuggled closer to Giorno, seeking solace in his comforting presence. "Thank you," you whispered, your voice filled with gratitude. "I love you."

Giorno smiled softly, his eyes filled with warmth. "I love you too, more than words can express," he replied, his voice laced with sincerity. "Remember, we are a team, and together, we can conquer anything."

Giorno's gaze held a mixture of tenderness and longing, mirroring the emotions swirling within you. Slowly, he leaned in, his lips hovering just above yours, seeking permission and reassurance. You met his gaze, the unspoken understanding between you palpable.

With a gentle nod, you closed the remaining distance between your lips, initiating a kiss that conveyed both vulnerability and passion. It was a kiss that spoke of shared burdens and unyielding support, a tangible connection that transcended words.

The kiss deepened, as if pouring all the love and reassurance you both felt into this single act. It was a moment of solace, a reminder that you were not alone in your struggles. Each brush of your lips conveyed a promise—a promise to heal together, to support one another, and to cherish the imperfect beauty of your shared journey.

Time seemed to stand still as you lost yourself in the tenderness of the moment. The world outside your bedroom faded away, leaving only the two of you, entwined in a cocoon of love and understanding.

When you finally pulled away, breathless and yet more at peace than before, you found solace in Giorno's eyes once again. There, in the depths of his gaze, you saw unwavering devotion and a fierce determination to help you find happiness.

With a small smile, you whispered, "Thank you, Giorno. Thank you for loving me."

Giorno's voice was filled with sincerity as he replied, "Always, my love. Always."

And in that moment, you believed him. You believed in the power of love to heal and overcome and to create a future where your insecurities would no longer hold you captive. Together, you would face whatever challenges lay ahead, guided by the strength of your bond and the depth of your love.

As you lay in his arms, you allowed yourself to believe in his words, finding solace in the love and support he offered. The journey towards healing would be challenging, but with Giorno by your side, you knew you could face anything that came your way. In the sanctuary of his embrace, his presence soothed your troubled mind, and a moment of quiet intimacy enveloped the room. The weight of your insecurities and pain began to fade as you focused solely on the love between you, knowing that in this imperfect existence, you had found a love that was flawless.

[gryphis-eyes]

⊙ Message from spirits

⊙ Welcome to this very simple but (I hope) useful pick a card, I know its been a while and here is my last attempt to get back to tumblr haha.I don’t have more to say , hope you’ll get the message that will light the fire in your !

⊙ How to pick a pile ? There are differents ways to do it, you can do a little meditation while thinking about the 3 images, you can also use a pendulum, remember to listen to your intuition while chosing and reading the messages those are general reading so not everything will be for you or it will ask you to interpret it based on your situation

◇ Deck used : Rider Waite, Shakespeare Oracle, Phenix Oracle

⊙ Pile 1 : The Cat

Cards ; 3 of cups, 6 of swords R " Tis true. The wheel is come full circle; I am here. ”

One day things go up and one day things go down, such is the nature of Fortuna’s actions. The cards are showing me those 3 muses singing with their cups full of sweet beverage while on the other side of the reading someone is struggling on their boat, going against this raging river’s flow. Some of you seems to be tired of life, you're always fighting, barely resting while other people seems to roam freely through life. Its not fair isn’t it ? I feel like the main issue here is that you're going through a though period and it affect your mental a lot, so of course our brain’s first move is to look at others and be like ”damn look at them, so happy and relaxed while im in this burning house”. Do not throw yourself heartlessly into this path which seems to be the only one, do not look at other, look at you. You might be afraid to do a specific thing (new project ?) Because others seems to do it better or the idea you got already have been done but listen to me ; nobody is doing things better than someone else, succes doesn’t mean its better it just mean it touch more people but it doesn’t mean it is made of quality. That’s why we always got people talking about underated movies, music etc, nothing is better, things are just different. What matter isn’t how amazing you'll do but rather how you will do it because you are not anyone else’s mind, look at the story of the hero with a thousand faces it has been done so so many times in fictions but people dont always realise it, why ? Because all of those fictions have been done by different people so that’s why lord of the ring is so different from star wars. To be honest I was thinking about telling you to go slower but the phenix cards are really telling you to move and just do it ! Be serious about this project wether it mean actually writing a story and publishing it or starting writing it, you got nothing to lose.

⊙ Pile 2 : The Owl

Cards ; 3 of swords R, hangedman ” for there is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.To me it is a prison. ”

Ive heard ”a haunted heart” part from on the fence by tv girl in mind while reading your cards. I have no contexte about what happened to you but I can tell that it was a wild ride isn t it ? Sit down my dear its time to rest and listen. Whatever happened didnt happen out of the ”univers” cruelty or a ”blessing in disguise” what happened felt like an attack toward you (from your pov) wether its truly the case or not I dont know but I truly think the cards are reminding you to focus on the present since they are hiding the past from me. Do not search for the why, do not search for a blessing coming from it, what was good what was bad do not try to listen to thousand of readers who will tell you how to act (I mostly got those ”forgiveness” speech that every new ager are repeating). You dont need to focus on that past thing you need to focus on yourself and your needs from the present, not the needs you had 5 month ago. You should let your life calm down, put less effort in the world and put more effort for yourself wether its forcing you to have a self care moment or allowing yourself to have a lazy day or just sit down and do nothing but listen to music. The lyrics from ”after the storm” it carry the whole message im trying to give you. Basically, yes what happened suck but its not an excuse to give up on yourself.

⊙ Pile 3 ; The Snake

The lover, 3 of swords R

" The enemy increaseth every day; We, at the height, are ready to decline.There is a tide in the affairs of men, Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune; Omitted, all the voyage of their life Is bound in shallows and in miseries. On such a full sea are we now afloat; And we must take the current when it serves, Or lose our ventures. "

It's time to risk it all my friend. I have no idea if It's a project, a ritual/spell (I get that most of you are into witchcraft or spiritual thing). See this snake going for the butterfly even if It's small and can avoid the snake’s strike easily, the reptile still go for it. It even look like the snake is using the obstacle in order to jump higher to catch the butterfly. (Idk why I get that you should try to watch samurai champloo). The advice here, is to look at everything that went bad or didn’t work in the past and ask yourself ”why” so now you'll be able to make your action more effective because you have grown a lot since the last time you try that thing or something similar. I feel a big burst of energy so its like everything is here, you just have to act. Like the snake, do not chase your goal or just walk around it until you saw the opportunity. Just go in front of it and strike ! With the Lover I see that this thing is dear to your heart or will light the fire in yourself again. You can do it, you have the power to do so, you can only gain good thing from this situation that will (above of making you happy) will heal something in yourself.

⊙

[ultimateluckystudent-writes]

Your Face Is Red (It's Not the Sunburn)

Summary: It's Summer, and you know what that means! Wearing your swimsuits to the lake, road trips with your classmates, and being trapped on top of your mortified crush's hard-on. I hope you packed an outfit that says 'sorry for making you accidentally cum'!

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 3.0k

Tags/Themes: , Nagito Komaeda/Reader, Extra Shy and Nervous Komaeda, Mega-Virgin Komaeda, Humiliation Kink, Sub!Nagito, Dom!Reader, Femdom, Reader's Kind of Mean but Girlboss, Slight Exhibitionism, Roadtrip!, Non-Despair!AU

Content Warnings: Accidental Orgasm/Sex, Female Anatomy on Reader, She/Her Pronouns for Reader, Public Sex, Under-Negotiated/Accidental Kink, Accidental Sex

A/N: I can't stop writing bitchy, femdom reader and horny, nervous Nagito it's an affliction. Also, I came up with this in one night, this was supposed to be a drabble and I lost control like Two Bros lol. Also, I love mom friend Mahiru and dad friend Hajime *mwah*

Also (last one I promise) here are some more titles I came up with. They get worse as they go on:

Road Trip Travails (and Other Reasons to Pack Sunblock/Thank God for Sunscreen),

You're Really Hot (It's 90, Lose the Jacket),

Forecast Calls for Sunny Skies (And Bumpy Roads)

Get Your White, Sticky Cream on Me (I Forgot My Sunblock)

READ ON AO3

Nobody else had even wanted to sit next to Komaeda, much less on top of him. Being in half-heartedly concealed swimsuits only made it worse. The luggage overflowed onto the seat next to it, all the way in the back, so it meant that someone had to draw sticks. Whoever got the shortest would have to sit in the back next to it all. Nagito drew it with a rueful smile. However, by the time all the supplies were in, you all realized that you were short one more seat.

“We can’t have any more people up front, that’s way too dangerous.” Mahiru frowned.

“We’ve already got four people in the middle seats.” Hajime sighed.

“The back seats are pretty spacious.” Kazuichi shrugged, and it seemed everyone seemed to know what that meant within the same split second. You all turned to look at Komaeda. He was already looking at the floor, picking at a loose thread on the sleeves of his jacket he insisted on taking despite the baking summer sun. It had begun to slip off of him, slumping around his elbows like his bare shoulders in his underconfident stance.

“I’m sorry.” He said softly. Kazuichi scoffed audibly. You all knew he wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t a sort of class trip, and you were urged by Chiaki. However, you were secretly grateful. You knew you’d be just as much of a pariah if you admitted the many friendly moments you had shared with him after classes and in empty hallways. Or how badly you were hoping he’d take off the shirt and let you rub sunscreen on him when you got there. You’d even caved and brought an extra bottle of the lotion kind with you. Just in case.

Around you, everyone had begun to squabble about who would be sitting in Komaeda’s lap. Hajime and Mahiru were already splitting the drive, Akane and Kazuichi were arguing about who between them was smaller (it was definitely Kazuichi), and Ibuki and Sonia weren’t much help. After a moment of this, you realized you were tired already, and the drive hadn’t even begun.

“Everybody shut the fuck up!” You shouted over them. “It’s fine, Komaeda can sit in my lap, can we just hurry up already!”

“Wh- wh- what?” Ibuki gasped, like some sort of DJ. “But Nagi-chan will totally crush you!”

“It’s true, you’re probably better off the other way around.” Hajime mused, clearly sizing you two up. You felt weirdly pleased about the admission.

“I know it must be disgusting to be so near me already,” Komaeda said. He couldn’t even meet your eye. You couldn’t tell if that pink flush on his face was from the sun, or the prospect of it all. ‘Mega-virg.’ You thought to yourself. “I wouldn’t want to be an encumbrance to top it off.”

“I literally don’t care! Just get in!” You groaned, shoving him towards the car. He gave a small yelp and clambered into the back ungracefully, your insistent hands forcing him forwards. He ended up wedged between the middle seats and luggage, stuck between them until you pulled him out with a massive sigh. You couldn’t have anyone think you were too eager for this, after all, least of all Komaeda. He was totally red by the time he was in, but now you knew it was from embarrassment. You slid in after him and sat down on his lap with no fanfare.

As you suspected, Komaeda’s legs were bony and slightly uncomfortable. You shifted, trying to find a spot where he didn’t dig into you, until you realized what you were doing.

“Sorry.” You shrugged, turning to glance back at him.

“It’s okay.” He mumbled. He managed to continue to avert his gaze, even this close to you. As everyone else got in and got settled, he began to tug the seatbelt down.

“Nuh-uh, no way.” You caught his wrist and stopped him in the air. ‘It’s… pretty small.’ You couldn’t help thinking. “We’re already crammed in back here, I’m not having this thing choke me on top of it.”

“I understand, but, ah- my luck-” He stammered. He didn’t even move to free his hand. You decided to take pity on him.

“Fine, whatever. But we gotta adjust so this thing isn’t bothering me the whole time.” You didn’t wait for a response before you were pulling the seatbelt on, and moving around on his lap trying to find a better spot. You ended up pressed front to back, his chin having to rest on your shoulder as you leaned against him. ‘At least this is comfy. I wonder if he’ll say anything? Pfft, yeah, right. Human doormat Komaeda Nagito complaining about getting cozy with an Ultimate. I’m surprised he hasn’t creamed his pants yet.’ “There, that’s better.” Sure enough, when you looked back up at him, his eyes were wide and nervous but he didn’t seem unhappy.

“I- um-”

“Alright, everybody ready to head out?” Mahiru asked from the front seat. Akane and Kazuichi cheered way too loud for such a confined space. “Cool, let’s hit the road then.” She nudged Hajime and he pulled out of the parking space.

In front of you, they rolled the windows down as they sang along to the radio, chatted, and laughed away. You and Komaeda, on the other hand, were quiet. He seemed content looking out the window and listening, though you supposed it wasn’t like he could do much else. You put in your earbuds and listen to your own music while you scrolled through your phone.

You didn’t notice the road becoming progressively bumpier until one jolt caused you to knock one of your earbuds out.

“What the fuck guys, where are we driving? Pre-civilization?” You groused.

“I told Hinata to take the regular road.” Mahiru half-sang. You couldn’t see his face, but you could picture the focused scowl on Hajime’s face everyone knew him by.

“This ways a short cut! I’ve taken it a million times! We’ll get there thirty minutes earlier-” Another bump cut him off.

“Woah!” Ibuiki giggled. “It’s like a roller-coaster!”

“It’s not that bad!” Hajime protested. The bumps eventually calmed down, but the road was still rough. As you drove along it, you could feel the way the uneven path jostled the car. Soon you had to put down your phone and quiet your earbuds so you wouldn’t get carsick.

Everyone else had similarly calmed down. While they still chatted within the rows, the whipping air and hum of the drive were too loud to hear much between them at all. You could barely make out the pop song from the speakers in the middle row. Only twenty minutes into the hour-long drive, but you resigned yourself to looking out the window as time passed.

It was at the next larger bump that you realized something was up with Komaeda.

As you bounced a bit on his lap, you could have sworn you heard the smallest whimper come from him, more a squeak than anything. It sounded pained, and you almost apologized, until a thought crossed your mind. You gave no hint you’d noticed anything as you stretched and shifted on his lap, scooting your hips closer to his-

It was just as you’d suspected. At some point, Komaeda had gotten completely hard.

You almost moaned out loud with the realization. The rush of arousal was so sudden it almost stunned you. You bit the inside of your cheek as you forced yourself not to move at all on top of it, no matter how badly you wanted to begin grinding against him. ‘Holy fuck, he’s hard, he’s hard, he’s hard. What do I do? Do I say something? Would that make it more awkward? What a pervert! Is he getting off on this?’ You looked at his expression out of the corner of your eye, expecting to find him looking down at you already, that filthy look he got on his face when he began to ramble or something similar. But he was staring quite hard out the window at nothing in particular. The muscles in his jaw were clenched. You finally noticed how rigid he was under you, and realized you hadn’t heard Komaeda be silent for this long ever. He almost looked like he was going to cry.

‘Aww, poor thing. He’s hoping I won’t notice. Too bad.’ With no further hesitation, you arched your hips back into him hard, leaning your torso onto the backs of the seats in front of you. You had positioned your pussy right against his dick, knowing he’d feel even more heat now through the thin layers of your swimsuits. Komaeda gasped, the pretty noise torn from his lips with the move. The car’s ride made the seat practically vibrate, and each second bounced you on his lap even as you sat completely still. You could feel his cock twitch and throb with the new feeling. You were glad nobody could see your face, because you worried you’d start drooling soon.

“You okay?” You asked casually, taking the opportunity to look directly at him. His hand was by his mouth. You were sure he’d begun to bite down on it.

“Mhm.” He managed a shaky smile despite his heavy breathing. He even gave a weak thumbs up. You noticed the bite marks in the flesh between his thumb and pointer finger at once. He was so preoccupied with hiding his… condition that he didn’t even seem to notice you’d already found out, or suspect your teasing at all.

“Mmkay. Let me know if anything gets uncomfy.” You turned back to the front and dropped the calm mask at once. The position had him grinding just as hard against your clit. You knew your bottoms were going to be soaked through. You continued in the same silence, though now you had something new to focus on: keeping your breath even as you noticed every move he made. His other hand was curled into a fist by his thigh so tight his knuckles had gone white. His foot was tapping rapidly against the floor. After just a couple more minutes, he had begun to let out a choked sort of sigh with every turn, shift, or movement. For all the hums and nonverbal noises he usually made, it was clear he was doing his best to be completely silent and not disturb you. The idea of him trying to be so good while he was hard and probably aching and humiliated under you almost made you give yourself up.

When your back got tired, you leaned back up against him. Your bodies were now flush with each other. You felt his heart hammering against his chest. Each labored breath of his was now right against your ear. You leaned your head back onto his shoulder and watched his fingers sort of spasm. You had to give it to him, if you weren’t so busy thinking about each new dirty item that had replaced your previous mental vacation itinerary during the ride, you would have certainly given yourself away. If you had been distracted the whole time, or maybe didn’t know what a hard-on felt like, you likely wouldn’t have noticed the weird behavior.

“Ah- um- (F/N)?” His trembling hands tapped your thigh gently. ‘Look at how bad he’s forgotten himself! Addressing me by my first name- he’d never do that. How absolutely precious!’ “I- I- Could, um, could you-”

“Hmm? Oh, do you want me to-” You shifted on your seat once more. This time, you turned yourself to the side as much as you could, your knees pressed up against the luggage. His hard on pressed into your bare thigh. You could see his face like this, petrified and desperate. He’d begun to sweat just a bit. ‘He’s so gross.’ You thought lovingly, your eyes tracing a bead of it down his too-prominent Adam’s apple and past his sharp, pale collarbones. He held his hands up, as if terrified to touch you anymore. “It’s alright.” You lowered them for him, one onto the seat by his leg and your ass, the other on your leg. “There, that better?”

His expression made it clear that the answer was yes, and he wanted to die about it.

“Well, I, uh-” His nose scrunched with another bump. One hand was now pulling at your clothes, the other gripping your upper thigh. He didn’t even seem to notice anymore. You finally gave in. He looked like he was going to combust or faint. Your careful mask melted at once into a knowing smile as you shushed him softly. He seemed entranced as you straightened up to bring your mouth as close to his ear as you could get it.

“You don’t want them to know too, do you?” You murmured. A strangled moan caught in his throat.

“I’m sorry,” He mewled, giving up all pretenses at once. He squirmed under you, hips stuttering up as he ground against you in pathetic, jerky, inexperienced movements. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry-” His voice spilled from his swollen, bitten lips, and his eyes were shut tight. Even his torso curled into yours, his head bowed down by yours. There was no warning but a deep inhale before he sunk his teeth into your shoulder and his cock twitched against you in time with his hummingbird heartbeat as he spilled his orgasm into his shorts.

He shuddered as you began to play with the hair at the nape of his neck soothingly, cradling him against yourself. You wanted to shush his remaining noises, to tell him he did a good job, to call him yours and coo at how pretty he was, but the moment felt too delicate, too precarious-

The blaring sound of the horn made you both jump at once.

“CHIAKI-CHAN!” Mahiru shouted out the open window at the cabin you approached. “WE’RE HERE!”

Akane and Ibuki cheered. Kazuichi hopped over several laps in his rush to get out, holding his stomach like he was going to be sick. Sonia clapped and thanked Hajime like he was her personal driver before sliding out delicately. Hajime yawned and shook his head to clear his drowsiness as he got out. Mahiru folded up the map they hadn’t used and tucked it into the dashboard. Before you knew it, they had forgotten both the two of you and the luggage as they greeted everyone else there.

“They left the seats up.” You scowled out the window to no avail.

“Oh, I, uh, think I can do it from here!” Komaeda said, too eager to be of help. He unbuckled the seat belt and began to reach over you.

“Wait, no let me just-” You tried to get off of him the best you could to give him room to pull the latch that would lower the seats and let you out. 

“Sorry! I think I can-”

“It’s okay, but you-”

“Do you think you could-”

“Ow! Your jacket is caught-”

“Ah!”

“Fuck!”

In a tumble of limbs, the seats came down all at once and the two of you fell back onto them and into each other painfully. You had just opened your eyes again after the crash as the door opened, blinding you once more with the bright sun.

“Hey! What were you two doing back there?” Kazuichi squawked. When you could see again, you realized the position the two of you had landed in. One of Komaeda’s arms was trapped under your back, pressing your faces just inches away from each other’s, and your foot had gotten caught in the handle of a suitcase behind you, wrapping your leg around his waist. Komaeda was only holding himself up with the arm he’d caught himself with, the rest of him pressed up against you.

“I- It’s not-” You stammered as more and more eyes of your classmates had turned towards you at Kazuichi’s accusatory voice.

“How shameful my luck must be for you.” Komaeda sighed, already pulling himself up. “Don’t be silly, Soda-kun, nobody would allow me to disgrace them in such a way.” He chuckled and shook his head at the prospect as he got out. “I’m just too incompetent to even get us out of the car. Such a simple task, and yet-”

“Ugh, god, shut up! You’re right, I’d be an idiot to think anyone would do that sort of thing with you.” Kazuichi looked disgusted.

“Get your mind out of the gutter!” You snapped at him, grateful for the new target Komaeda had supplied you with. “You’re such a pervert, Soda!” You made sure to say it louder than necessary, making everyone’s gaze turn toward him instead.

“Eewww, Pervuichi’s at it again!” Hiyoko cried, always happy to pull out one of her nicknames. 

“They wouldn’t have been trapped like that if you’d remembered to let them out!” Mahiru scolded him. “You were in the middle, you should have been the last one out!”

“Huh? What? Wait!”

As squabbling picked up once more, reminding you of how you had entered the car, Komaeda extended his hand with a smile. His other hand held his jacket by his stomach, over his front. You felt much more grateful for the eyesore. Nobody noticed as you rummaged around for your backpack or when you finally tugged a surprised Komaeda away with a mischievous smile.

“C’mon, let’s head down to the lake already. We’re gonna need an excuse for being all wet already.” You laughed as he nodded quickly in response, until his face fell.

“We’ll have to be quick, unfortunately, my skin burns quite easily-”

“Whoo-hoo!” To his confusion, you gave a cheer at that. ‘Thank you Summer gods! Thank you SPF 100+!’ “Don’t even worry, you have no idea how prepared I am for this. Best vacation ever!”

[fritextramole]

in my dreams, i have a plan

part 1 of a Jenny Humphrey playlist - best heard in order

tracklist and quotes under the cut

Money, Money, Money ~ ABBA

Money, money, money Must be funny In the rich man's world Money, money, money Always sunny In the rich man's world

Ordinary Superstar ~ Rina Sawayama

Girl on the screen lookin' mean I never woulda guessed that we'd be friends Oh, but you don't want to be seen With me

Adult Diversion ~ Alvvays

One more cocktail Is it a good time? Or is it highly inappropriate?

jealousy, jealousy ~ Olivia Rodrigo

All I see is what I should be Happier, prettier, jealousy, jealousy All I see is what I should be I'm losing it, all I get's, jealousy, jealousy

Cool ~ Soccer Mommy

She’ll treat you like a fucking toy She’ll break your heart and steal your joy, like a criminal

Dreaming of You ~ The Coral

When I’m down and my hands are tied I cannot reach a pen for me to draw the line From this pain I just can’t disguise It’s gonna hurt but I’ll have to say goodbye

Self Esteem ~ The Offspring

Well, I guess I should stick up for myself But I really think it's better this way The more you suffer The more it shows you really care Right? Yeah

Brick by Boring Brick ~ Paramore

Well, you built up a world of magic Because your real life is tragic

Seashore ~ The Regrettes

You're talkin' to me like a child But my words are growin' stronger And my legs keep gettin' longer I'm like nobody else, so you can just go fuck yourself

I'm Free ~ King Tuff

Late at night, the light turns to blue I wonder if you're out there thinking of me too Have you ever thought you might not be what you believe? You might be something different, you might be free

Jigsaw

Killin' parts of myself to fit you Clear as shit I was not the issue If I made you like me, would I even like myself? Pointin' out all my flaws doesn't help Why don't you love me? Don't you love me?

Oh No! ~ MARINA

I know exactly what I want and who I want to be I know exactly why I walk and talk like a machine I'm now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy Oh! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no, oh!

You're Gonna Go Far, Kid ~ The Offspring

There's something in your way and now someone is gonna pay And if you can't get what you want, well, it's all because of me

Soap ~ Melanie Martinez

Darling, you're just soaking in it But I know you'll get out the minute You notice all your fingers pruning up

Arms Tonite ~ Mother Mother

I try to escape afterlife I try hard to get back inside your arms alive

Miss Nothing ~ The Pretty Reckless

And as I watch you disappear into the ground My one mistake was that I couldn't let you down So I'll waste my time and I'll burn my mind On miss nothing, miss everything

Supermassive Black Hole ~ Muse

I thought I was a fool for no one Oh baby, I'm a fool for you You're the queen of the superficial And how long before you tell the truth?

Power & Control ~ MARINA

A human vulnerability Doesn't mean that I am weak That I am weak, I am weak I am weak, I am weak, weak Weak, weak, weak, weak

Hotel California ~ Eagles

Mirrors on the ceiling The pink champagne on ice And she said, 'We are all just prisoners here Of our own device"

South Elroy ~ Maya Hawke

Focused on the trouble each nightfall You swallowed bubbles, made me beg for a biteful Give me your hand and moved it inside me Smirk, what a jerk, good and plenty

Make Me Wanna Die ~ The Pretty Reckless

Take me, I'm alive Never was a girl with a wicked mind But everything looks better when the sun goes down

Playing God ~ Paramore

If God's the game that you're playing Well, we must get more acquainted Because it has to be so lonely To be the only one who's holy

Full Control ~ Snail Mail

And in full control I'm not lost Even when it's love Even when it's not Even when it's love Even when it's love Even when it's love Even though it's not

David ~ Noah Gundersen

I try to wash my hands for you every night Lest you find my strangling fingers wrapped around tight

Pity Party ~ Melanie Martinez

Tell me why the hell no one is here Tell me what to do to make it all feel better

Sober II (Melodrama) ~ Lorde

All the glamour and the trauma And the fuckin' melodrama, whoa, whoa

Troublemaker Doppelgänger ~ Lucy Dacus

Was it that girl, that beautiful girl Thirsty for love and eager for attention Was it that girl who taught me about destruction?

[taggedmemes]

SENTENCE MEME ⟶ IDK HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME / RAZZMATAZZ always feel free to tweak the sentence to fit your muse.

"Big shot, so what?"

"You took the money but the money couldn't buy a friend."

"I want you to leave me alone."

"They say the devil that you know is better than the devil that you don't."

"You're a big shot here but nobody else knows."

"Go fly a kite until you're tangled in the hanging tree."

"Four in the morning but we've having such a lovely time."

"Mad as a hatter with a dagger and a dollar sign."

"Tip your hat and break your mother's heart."

"When the sun comes up you'll find a brand new god."

"You'll never gonna stop me."

"I'm never gonna quit."

"Lose yourself inside the city."

"Lose your mind inside the week."

"We can live while we're alive."

"Come inside, twist the knife."

"I'm a voluntary victim."

"Watch your colonial tongue."

"I'll watch you tighten the noose."

"Don't you lose all your control."

"You can't get into heaven if you haven't got a soul."

"They'll replace you with machines."

"Paralyzed by the sum of your parts."

"Abstract with a human heart."

"I'm captivated, but I'm so confused."

"Come and see the opening band."

"No one likes an opening band."

"Chances are they won't go far."

"Career is sure to end."

"Unfamiliar things will make us nervous."

"You've got the devil on your shoulder."

"You better shut your mouth just like I told ya."

"You've been controlling me through fiction."

"I got to break you like a bad addiction."

"I can't say no, I'm losing control."

"I'm having bad dreams."

"Nothing you can do will keep the bad things away from me."

"Despite your good intentions."

"I am just the new invention."

"Feels like you're running out of holy places."

"It's a miracle I'm standing."

"You're dragging me back."

"You're beautiful and evil too."

"You're sinister and vile."

"For you I'd die, or kill myself."

"I'd swing from the gallows and wave."

"I'd carousel into my grave."

"You're right down vicious."

"I can't help it, but I still wish I was with you."

"I'm a teenage beauty queen of sorts."

"I'm calculated, cold, without remorse."

"Only if you'd like me, I could fall in love with you."

"You're a holy quarantine."

"Could it be that it's only in my head."

"Give me something more for my wild imagination."

"Tell me that you're more than a sick fascination."

"You're with me all the time."

"I don't care about anything at all."

"I know that girls like you don't come with guarantees."

"You've got to spend your time, won't you spend it with me?"

"I hope we kiss goodnight."

"It might just end my life."

"I'll be a gentleman, or you can show me the door."

"I don't want to spend my life with anyone else."

"Pardon me if I forget your name."

"Is that any way to talk to me."

"Corrupting the young with your uncivil tongue."

"What a shame if you misspeak now."

"I need you here."

"There is no other place in the world I would rather be."

"Can't you stay right here forever, pretty please?"

"Where do you go when you're not home?"

"If I'm out of line, just show me the door."

"Don't hold your breath for goodness sake."

"You've got parliaments filled with parasites."

"Let's go paint the town on our way home."

"The blinking lights are breaking bones."

"Then you have that good old fashioned razzmatazz."

"You broke my heart again."

"Some things just cannot be fixed with sparkled tongues and politcs."

"In a fascist little paradox, we all become anonymous."

"I would say I'm sorry if I thought that it would change your mind."

"I know that this time I have said too much."

"I've been too unkind."

"I tried to laugh about it."

"I covered it all up with lies."

"I tried to laugh about it, hiding the tears in my eyes."

"Boys don't cry."

"I would break down at your feet and plead forgiveness, but I know it's too late."

"There's nothing I can do."

"I would tell you that I loved if I thought you would stay."

"I misjudged your limits."

"I pushed you too far."

"I took you for granted."

"I thought you needed me more."

"I would do most anything to get you back at my side."

[healersadjust]

💿 - A random song from my playlist, and an explanation of how my it could relate to my muse (for both).

Ooooo, fun, okay! I’m just gonna go off my current everyday playlist, then! Thank you so so much for the ask again, Mimble!!!!

For Aki first!

“When I look at you; Oh, but I don’t know what’s real; Once and a while; And you make me laugh; And I’ll sleep tomorrow; And it won’t be long.”

Hmmmm… this song is very ethereal feeling. It’s like walking on clouds, to me. I feel like it could relate a lot to her dreams she has a lot on heavensward and stormblood, where she dreams of G’raha. They feel very real, but gone when she awakes. At first, they make her really upset, knowing he’s gone. But then, they become comforting, even if fleeting.

I hate to cheat, but… To add on to it, another song came to mind. I simply have to add it on!

Okay, Leo’s turn with the playlist roulette!

“But nobody cares if you're losing yourself; Am I losing myself?”

“What they ask of you will make you want to say, ‘So long;’ Well, I don't remember; Why remember you?”

“Do you have the keys to the hotel?; 'Cause I'm gonna string this motherfucker on fire; Fire!”

“I won’t go down by myself, but I’ll go down with my friends.”

YEAH OK so I know I grabbed a TON of lyrics, but!!!!! this song spoke to me a lot for him. It’s actually on his playlist already LMAO. So, I’ll limit my rambles, but… The whole song is very very fitting, I feel. In vibes, in the lyrics, in the musical composition, the very beginning with the very quiet, tense start… I love it.

I adore the way this song highlights multiple sides of Leo. The quiet, observing side in the beginning. Looking for a way for him and his friends to get out of whatever mess they’re in, but the confidence that they can’t be caught. Then, the chaotic part that even mentions fire… yeah. Whenever he lets go of himself, as talked about in the recent entry on @writer-of-histories, he loses all sense of himself and just simply goes batshit, like how the song kinda does!

Lastly, the part with the memory… “I don’t remember, why remember you?” That part would be aimed at his rocky relationship with Azeyma. NO SHADE TOWARDS HER!!!!! But not everyone is good all the time, even gods. She hurt him bad, and he wants nothing to do with her. He’s thankful he doesn’t remember a lot of it.

Thank you again for the ask!!!!! You’re the best, Mimble. I always love seeing you on my dash <3 Such a sweet person in the community!!!!

[mysacredmuse]

you're right, the aventurine brainrot never stops and you just gotta live with it yk 😔 its fine tho im always happy to draw him !! i have finished the entire questline and world quests (im also tl70), but i do want to start farming for aventurine's relics and materials (that we can get rn) !!

i will get a lot of free time after i finish my work so im excited (im actually not, relic farming is not fun when you have shit luck 😔) (pspspsp aventurine pass me some luck)

anyways its 7am rn and i desperately need just a tiny bit more sleep before finishing up my works. i hope you have a good day ! sending tons of love to you muse 🫶

- 🦋

SLAAAAAY, YOU ARE SO QUICK WITH IT DAMN, I also finished all the quests besides fucking swarm thingy in simulated universe because I am lazy LOL, but there are no new missions now, so I only collect my jades and leave... too lazy to farm stuff tbh, I still have to finish traces for kafka and veritas + farm for little gui, but oh well 😌 I should farm for aventurine too, but I have so many non-build characters that I need to finish LOL, nobody is fully built besides my sushang :")

that's true tho, it took me 288382 turns to get shit for fucking veritas, I was so fucking mad. Like dude just give it to me, I know you are free and all, but like... I get so annoyed when I have to redo stuff 500 times just to get all the relicses or trace materials because I keep dying from that stupid fucking nasty ugly bug 😒😒😒 and then I lose all of my energy... like wow.

aventurine will give you all the luck in the world, do not worry at all, I am giving you my luck as well so you may get everything you need first try 🙏🏻🙏🏻 I hope that you will be able to take a nap at the very least :(, make sure to take it easy as much as you can and remember to treat yourself kindly and take care as much as possible !! :D <3 I hope that you will have a lovely day and I am very proud of you for doing all of your work and drawing aventurine eheh, if you ever want to share - feel free to do so :3 sending you lots & lots of love butterfly !! :) <3

[honeyrisuke]

ok no turns out what im mad about and posted about earlier wasnt a big deep "modern media bad bluh" thing, im just. not feeling so hot rn

very long boring ramble below

I've struggled with my art ever since I started to put it online

like, I'd always refresh and check if someone saw it and then get all exciting when someone did see it and like it and so on but not even once have I had some art I did actually,,, do anything for me. it was never _worth it_ if that makes sense.

I'd sit there for hours upon hours and then post it in hopes someone else enjoys it and seemingly nobody ever does. I can spend days on a drawing and it barely even reaches my friends, and in old media at least I still had one or the other random

even right now on Furaffinity, which also isnt algorythmically sorted, I occationally get people who just like all of my stuff in a quite sincere way, or comment on my art in a genuine way- and that's why I've recently enjoyed drawing furry fetish art a lot more than anything else, even when I didn't wanna draw furries that day.

but on shit like instagram or twitter or even on here I've. I rarely even get one interaction?? on my art?? I've never gotten a comment. I've never had someone share my art on twitter or instagram because they liked it

and when I did get faves or comments it was always either an IRL friend of mine who'd like a selfie of me taking a shit bc they don't care, as long as I posted it, or someone I don't know who just wants to promote their own account

I've blocked people in the past who left a nice comment on instagram, and when i replied to thank them they immediately went for "would you mind checking out my page"

bc yea i do mind shut tf up

its. fundamentally uncomfortable to be in those positions. I don't wanna go around using other people as stepping stones to get anywhere. I don't wanna go around and put up this big professional influencer facade just so I can draw my lame fucking characters and have maybe 10 people like it

and no, I'm not talking huge numbers and wanting fame or whatever, just. something. anything.

I've grown to really really hate art communities, and that means whenever I sit down and want to draw I have to first fight a big "but what for?"

and most of the time recently? I lose that fight. I can't think of a "what for", and then I sit there for several hours slowly thinking myself into a rage instead of doing anything productive, because actually I'm also very upset about not drawing, but I can't think of a good reason to do it

and to anyone who says "just do it for yourself"- you know you're lying. I've never met an artist who said that shit to my face and didn't have at least one person they could share their art with

I'd just be out here sending it to random ass people knowing damn well I'm annoying.

art is worthless if it can't be shared with anyone. I really picked the worst fucking hobby as a child. I hate everything I do and I hate doing it

I was hoping to rekindle my muse with artfight but as for right now, it looks like I'm not even gonna get a single attack, and each time I sit down to draw I'm building my hope up again that "this time they will respond and draw something back to" just to sit here on the 31st with maybe one really crappy doodle made by someone who just wanted to get free art from me. and if I'm as stupid as I've been all these years, I'll even have given them that free piece of art.

I'm just. I don't know where to go from here and. not to be even more of a downer at the end of this, in case anyone actually did read it, but

I've. not felt so hot about being around anymore recently, and fundamentally feeling like I should stop doing at alltogether is a big part of that. I've always done art one way or another, and so far nobody has ever given a shit about it. I have genuinly no idea why I've done it for so long. but i feel like if i stop then I am doing absolutely nothing anymore. i wouldnt be expressing myself anymore, i wouldnt put anything out there anymore. id just be here locked inside of my head unable to communicate the things im passionate about because i KNOW im annoying, i KNOW im unbearable and overly aggressive and genuinly unlikeable, and i know nobody gives a shit about the stuff i like or enjoy. i already stopped being excited about things bc of that years ago and am now only defaulting to be pissed and to complain and to make fun of things

and i feel that if i fully stop drawing and making art its. kinda over. idk i dont wanna write it out but that'd be it.

[miss-smutty]

The Destructive Secret

Chapter 4

Summary- You've got a secret to hide and it's going to cause complete and utter devastation. It's only so long until your lies are going to catch up to you.

Pairing- Chris Hems x Reader x Liam Hems

Word count- 2,211

Warnings- Smut, swearing, angst, cheating

18+ Only!!

Disclaimer: This is an entire work of fiction/AU and has no affiliation to real life what so ever! This is a fictional story about fictional characters who happen to share names and faces with some real people.

Posted: 29th June 2021

Taglist:- @innerpaperexpertcloud @pandaxnienke @chickensarentcheap @mostly-marvel-musings @longlostinanotherworld

>The Destructive Secret Masterlist<

"No not married but you do know her. You know her really well actually." Chris says while avoiding your gaze purposefully...

You could cut the tension in the room with a knife, silence so acute you could hear a pin drop. Liam waiting for an answer, Chris looking at his feet and you looking visibly anxious. Chris had drank way too much and now he was about to let all of your secrets loose. This isn't the way you want Liam to find out, surely Chris wouldn't be so cruel.

"I suppose you're not gonna tell me who it is?" 

"Not just yet, see how we go." He looked at you, if he so much as even looked slightly smug you would have slapped him right across his face. Instead you could see the hurt in his eyes, tears welling in the corners. You're both faced with an impossible dilemma, Chris wants you all to himself but doesn't want to lose his brother in the process and you want it all over and done with but don't want to hurt Liam. The latter of both is inevitable but you would take all the blame just so Chris didn't have to lose his brother, given the choice you would lose them both just so that didn't happen.

"Well on that note, I need to go to bed. I've gotta be up early in the morning." You avoid Chris' gaze, you're angry with him but you don't want to cause him more pain. 

"Yeah me too. I better get going. Thank you for dinner Y/N, it was lovely."

You risk a short glance at him, you're eyes softening when they meet. The moment broken when Liam speaks, reminding you where you are and who you're with right at this moment in time.

"Are you for real? You're really going to drop a bombshell like that and then leave? Fuck man." Liam runs his hand through his hair, letting air out of his cheeks exasperatedly.

"Sorry bro, I'll save the excitement for another night. I've said too much already." Chris apologises with his eyes as he passes you, his hands twitching by his side's with the need to touch you.

                             ******************

The next morning when you wake, your heart sinks knowing all the turmoil you're going to have to go through just to make it to the hotel without being spotted. All the messing about and hiding you have to do, checking in under a false name at different times. Making sure nobody follows you to the hotel and especially no one follows Chris. Getting caught checking into the same hotel would be dreadful, it wouldn't take a genius for the press to put two and two together, they wouldn't even care if it was true or not as long as they sold copies.

"Right babe, I'm ready to go." You pull your suitcase towards the door, stopping to wrap your arms around Liam.

"Have a good time, I'll see you soon." Wrapping his arms tightly around your waist and lifting your feet from the ground in a squeezy hug. "I'll miss you." 

"I'll miss you too, bye babe." 

"Bye. Love you. Let me know when you get checked in." He kisses you goodbye before watching you leave.

"Will do, Love you." You say over your shoulder, climbing into your silver, Audi convertible.

This is the part you hate the most, the part that made you question whether it was all worth it. It was, of course or you wouldn't be doing it, you wouldn't put yourself through having to pretend to be somebody else and praying your not caught by anyone. It only takes one person to notice you and Chris in the same hotel and it's over. You imagine having an affair is hard work whatever your circumstances but when your boyfriend and your lover are as famous as they are it becomes impossible. It's terrifying. 

You spent the car journey constantly checking your mirrors and making sure you weren't being followed. A huge sunhat and even bigger sunglasses covering your face as your heart beated faster than you thought was possible. A couple of laps around the hotel, making doubly sure you weren't being followed before you finally pulled into the carpark.

You had to constantly think, you couldn't let your guard drop for even a moment and it was exhausting. You were ready for it to be over and done with now, this just isn't fun anymore. Maybe you could run away together and start a new life somewhere else. Which one would you pick though? Who are you ready to give up? Would there even be an option to choose? Would Liam even be willing to forgive you if he knew you were sleeping with his brother? In love with his brother.

Your heart beating out of your chest, your fight or flight well and truly kicking in now as you walk up to the front desk. If there's any recognition in the receptionists eyes you're ready to turn right around and leave. The girl behind the desk, with long blonde hair has her eyes on the computer In front of her, thankfully not paying you much attention as you stand and wait for her to finish.

"Hi I'd like to book a room for two nights please." You stutter nervously, subconsciously checking over your shoulder while you spoke.

"Of course, is it just for yourself?" 

"Yes please, I'm just here for a work conference. I'd like a double bed if possible though, I haven't been able to sleep in a single since I was young." You giggle nervously, embarrassed that you'd told her information she isn't even slightly interested in.

"No problem, I'll see what I have for you." Her eyes barely left her computer as she spoke, she definitely didn't recognise you. The tension in your muscles relaxed a little as your eyes scanned the lobby.

"What name is it please?" She asked, one of the moments you'd been dreading. You hate lying but luckily you'd already come up with the fake name you were using, one you'd already used many times before in the exact same situation. It never gets any easier.

"Jessica Crawley." The names tumbled from your lips, names that had absolutely no meaning to you. 

"Room 101, floor 5. Is there anything else I can help you with?" 

"No thank you, that's great." The overwhelming feeling of relief at completing step one without any problems, rushes over you. Adrenaline spiking, making your legs feel like jelly.

"You're welcome, enjoy your stay. Don't hesitate to let me know if you have any questions." The girl says, smiling sweetly at you before going back to her work.

The elevator seemed to take forever to make its way down to you, your feet shuffling as you watched the numbers above the door, counting down. The overwhelming need to get to privacy and away from the many prying eyes of the people in the lobby was severe. Most were business men and women, that were so consumed in themselves they weren't paying special attention to anyone around them. There were also young couples, making their way through the lobby, probably on their way for lunch but the people that worried you the most were the random loners sat in the armchairs scattered around the lobby. They'd chosen the perfect place to watch, some pretending to read newspapers while their eyes discreetly scanned over the top.

They were much more inquisitive, much like yourself they paid more attention to the people around them. People watchers you liked to call them, these are the sorts of people that make you nervous. They see everything, noticing any minor details, you'd spent a lifetime perfecting 'people watching' which is how you knew to be wary. You could pretty much judge a person's personality just by watching them for a couple of minutes. If anyone was to spot you it would be one of these people. You felt thankful you weren't Chris, there is absolutely no way he was going to make it to the elevator without being seen at least once.

                             *******************

Chris didn't feel quite as nervous as you, this was a every day occurance in his life, avoiding paparazzi was near impossible for him. As long as you weren't seen going in to the hotel then it wouldn't matter about him being seen. Still, he'd worn his baseball cap and sunglasses to at least try and hide his identity. He wasn't nervous about being seen but more about having to face you after his fuck up last night. Now that thought was way more intimidating to him.

Casually strolling into the hotel, he tried to ignore the whispers of the people around him. People questioning if it was really him, young girls barely out of high school giggling at the sight of him. Chris quietly prayed that he would make it up to the room without anyone asking for a photo, not that he usually minded but today all he wanted was to spend every possible minute with you as he could.

The receptionist tried to make a fuss when his identity was confirmed during check in. The pale skin of the same blonde girl who'd checked you in, had turned a rather bright shade of red when she heard Chris' sexy Australian accent. You wouldn't blame her, it still makes you swoon whenever you heard him speak.

"I'm fine honestly, I don't want any special treatment. Actually if I could get away with going completely unnoticed during my stay, I will speak to your boss myself and tell them how accomodating you'd been." 

"Oh wow, really? Thank you so much Mr Hemsworth. I will make sure nobody bothers you and if you need anything at all just give me a call, I'll make sure you won't have to leave your room for anything." Chris smiled, pretending not to notice how she seemed to be flirting with him, badly. Tossing her hair over shoulder as she insinuated not so subtly for him to let her know if he wanted any 'special' treatment. Again, you don't blame the girl, infact you would've commended her confidence.

She handed over the keys to the penthouse, watching bright eyed as he walked to the elevator, pulling out his phone as he stepped straight in. 

"Hi babe, I've booked the penthouse suite, meet me up there?" Smiling a tight lipped smile at the girl behind the desk, who was still watching him intently as the elevator doors closed.

"Ok, it isn't very inconspicuous staying in the penthouse is it?" You shouldn't be surprised, he does it everytime. You remember the first time you ever saw a penthouse and how amazed you were that it was actually bigger than your own home at the time. That was a memory you shared with Liam, all of your first times had been with Liam, the thought made your heart sink.

"I mean they knew who I was as soon as I walked in, I think it would look more suspicious if I didn't stay in a suite." Chris answered, pulling you from your thoughts.

"I suppose that's true, I'll be up soon." You could hear the sadness in your voice, something you had to snap out of before meeting Chris.

"Good because I can't wait to get my hands on you." 

Sinking back onto the spongey mattress of your bed, tiredness washing over you already. The mental exhaustion of constantly having to play games and be on your guard at all times, catching up to you as you're finally alone.

Maybe that's what you need afterall, a chance to be alone to gather your thoughts, to workout your own needs and wants without spreading your attention between the two brothers.

You make a mental list of the pros and cons of both of them knowing deep down if Liam were the one for you, you'd have never have looked twice at Chris. They were so similar in a lot of ways but completely different in others.

Liam was the sweetest man you knew, so gentle and caring, attentive to your every whim and being so young when you first got together he was everything you were looking for.

Now being a woman that has gone through so much trauma in her life that had tainted your soul, darkened it with a lust for more.

Then Chris came along, he was still sweet and caring but less attentive to your needs unless it was in the bedroom. He was cheeky and funny, drop dead gorgeous and oozing manliness effortlessly. He was fire and passion. He was more. 

If you let yourself admit it, you wanted excitement, which is how you ended up here in the first place. You didn't want perfect anymore, you wanted a man who could do wrong and then make up for it in the most fulfilling way he knew how. Just thinking about it made your pulse race, Chris had put you through hell last night and now it was time for payback. You imagined Chris only a couple of floors above you, worried about the way you were going to act when you saw him and lord knows how much you're going to make him sweat.                    

[fkahersweetness]

Hannigram/HEU Hub Directory

THIS IS THE NEW DIRECTORY: hannigramheuhub.carrd.co

This old one will not be updated further. The Hub continues to grow! :D

Main Stories:

Come, Thou Almighty! [17 chapters / complete]

A pious young man is tasked with caring for God's only living son.

Little Animals [18 chapters / complete]

A twunk runs headfirst into his third-life crisis.

Prothalamion [20 chapters / complete]

A young omega is sent to Romania to be courted by an alpha. The young omega's twin brother is not having it.

Peachboy [19 chapters / complete]

The innocent affection between an alpha and an omega unearths the beastly nature of a quaint Southern town.

Commissions:

No Sinner Need Rise Up, Forgiven [complete]

Post-Housekeeping. Those left behind figure it out.

Don't Let Him See Me Like This [4 parts / complete]

A sex shop worker struggles with the intimacy of a new relationship.

Champagne [complete]

An omega meets an alpha who smells of persimmons.

The Sea Upside Down [complete]

A Subject disappears in the desert.

What Remains of Will Graham [complete]

Hunger is endured on a lonely mountainside.

Bad Seed [complete]

A teacher is confronted by a problem child.

Colonize the Night [complete]

An infant learns how to eat.

The Gimp in the Graveyard [complete]

A gifted student embraces his talents.

Georgette [complete]

An omega marries an alpha who no longer smells of persimmons.

A History Lesson [complete]

A freshman lusts after an enigmatic grad student.

Adam (All the Time) [complete]

An integration of worlds goes awry.

No Children [complete]

Post-Prothalamion. Two celebrations on two yachts.

Swept Away [complete]

A trip to Mexico goes awry.

Hyperpop Princess Panic!! [complete]

A man falls in love with a pop star.

We Will Be So Young [4 parts / complete]

Two men become entangled in each other's addictions.

Rides With Strangers [complete]

I-70 becomes a hotbed for life-changing journeys.

The Trouble With Strays [complete]

What turns man into man's best friend?

Bloodmoon Rising [complete]

A man becomes a slave to the night.

Big Timber [2 parts / complete]

An omega adjusts to new surroundings.

Traumabomb [complete]

Mads/Reader #1.

Summer's Child [complete]

An omega loses himself to the season.

666 Kill Chop Deluxe [2 parts / complete]

Two serial killers get to the root of the problem.

NOEL [complete]

A scoundrel enjoys a cozy Christmas Eve with friends.

Your Weight in Gold [complete]

Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country.

1899 [complete]

Two men look into the wonders of a coming century.

Short Stories:

Yourself and People Like You [complete]

An online encounter takes a turn.

Fleeced [complete]

A roving nobody comes to town.

Robbery [complete]

Post-It Boy. A first date gets off to a rocky start.

Chant This Charm [4 parts / complete]

A forest-dweller considers a life partner.

Adam (You're Freaking Me Out) [complete]

A man tries to reclaim his self-worth.

Arrogance and Sewage [complete]

Mid-A Gifted Student. A young Muse blossoms.

The Will Graham Revenge Machine [4 parts / complete]

A man with no past and a boy with no future collide.

Love Spell [complete]

Relationship essentials are examined.

The Shepherd's Sweet Lot [complete]

Milder weather on Breidamerkurfjall brings change.

Secondhand [complete]

A beloved owl is mercilessly killed.

The Professional [complete]

A college student pursues his goals.

Modern Marvels [3 parts / complete]

Amazon remains an unreliable entity.

Extras:

Catboy Drawing Hour is held for everyone in and out of the Hub here, on Tuesdays at 7PM EST.

Robyn Reviews

my knee-jerk reviews of all HEU movies.

The Black Girl Snapped

a column of my most controversial and hilarious Hannibal the Show opinions.

[boop-le-snoot]

PARTY FAVOURS | EPILOGUE

💖 story masterlist 💖

This is it. This is the happy ending they deserve. Fluff. Fem!Loki, because we don't get enough of Loki's female form. Some musings about relationships in general, I think. Guys, I'm crying as I'm posting this.

note: I've got two posts of outtakes coming out sometime this week. Snippets that didn't fit in the story but that have the needed vibe, y kno? As well as a new story is coming out soon... Be sure to check out my main masterlist and taglist if you like my writing <3

I want to thank all my readers for this amazing journey. I love all of you, really, like- I haven't figured out how to produce serotonin on my own ever since I hit puberty, and you guys, you are an amazing source for it. I appreciate the time and the patience that it took to read this 120k word thing and I hope you found a little something for yourself in my writing. A comfort, maybe, because everyone deserves to be happy. I love you all 3000.

"You suck," I grumbled in Peter's direction. Luckily, the little shit was out of my immediate eyesight and I couldn't just pelt him with the assorted items that were scattered around me; luckily for him - after enduring hours of non-stop rambling from the spider boy, I was ready to bargain with Stephen for the sorcerer to put a temporary mute ban on Pete. His nervousness was becoming contagious.

"And you swallow," Pietro replied with a snicker as I heard him wrestle with Peter's tie over the pathetic noises of whining and grumbling coming from the younger man.

"I'm lady, ladies don't spit," I rolled my eyes into the skies, catching Loki's appreciative snicker. She - and yes, Loki was in her female form for this event - carefully combed and did my hair, something completely out of this world, all puns intended. I supposed she was feeling generous, because her female form generally made Loki even more moody and unapproachable. But in a hot way. I hope she didn't notice me ogling her like some kind of gallery painting. "You're a goddess, I can't believe you're friends with me," I addressed Loki, watching the careful movements of her slender hands in the mirror.

A small smirk and a dusting of pink over her pale cheeks was what I got, but the silence was so, so loud.

"Stop flirting," Wanda remarked from her spot by the window where she was doing Natasha's make-up with surgical precision. "You already have three boyfriends, leave some for us, Jesus," Her tone was playful.

"Oh my God, like you didn't brainfreeze and run into the fucking wall, forehead-first, when you saw Loki walk in," I scoffed as Loki's blush deepened.

My witchy friend grumbled something rude in Sokovian under her breath but refrained from any more comments, choosing to simp in defiant silence. Well, good for her, because I was about a hundred and five percent sure that Loki was as equally as smitten with her. It's just that neither of them knew how to approach the other. What can I say, idiots in love...

And yes, yes, I can say that because it takes one to know one. My own idiots were somewhere on the upper floors - getting ready in their own rooms, pulling out their brand new suits and ties for the annual Stark gala. It was supposed to be a charity fundraiser but as all of us were quite disillusioned, we knew it was nothing but a pissing contest between people with small PP syndrome. Even Tony himself said so.

Which is why I had assembled all the girls and theys in my room for a mission debrief. My own personal pride wouldn't let me be anything but a star, and to be completely honest, I just wanted to show off my family to the world - even if the delicate parts of our relationship were hidden from the general public, it filled me with immense amount of joy to be surrounded by my very own at their absolute best.

As for Pietro and Peter, they arrived not too long after me, Wanda, Natasha and Loki made camp in the biggest room with the most amount of natural light, surrounded by make-up and other assorted tools. Both boys were bickering but it was obvious that some of the older men had gotten on their nerves, forcing the youngsters seek solace with their peers.

"You know, Vanity Fair better be talking about us for at least a week," I grouched as Wanda helped me into my dress before I returned the favour. "The amount of people I had to actually, physically talk to, to get us these fucking gowns, is frankly disgusting."

"Agreed," Loki admired herself in the mirror, smoothing out invisible creases in her gown. "Although I must say, the dressmakers on Midgard are far more patient and open-minded than on Asgard." Truly, Loki had nearly driven the poor lady crazy. But on the upside, Loki looked like a living doll. Pristine, perfect.

"Our whims are their wages," Natasha piped up with a chuckle.

We stepped out into the main room, taking note of the men scattered on the couches, all of them wearing an almost identical expression of being already done with the formal event - which, I didn't blame them. Having gotten used to the informal, communal-living atmosphere, I wasn't overly keen on being surrounded by random rich douchebags either; as it was unavoidable, I was going to be miserable - but at least I was going to be miserable in style.

Predictably, the menfolk froze and hurried to pelt us with compliments as they surveyed our ensemble - all of our dresses had a distinct vibe despite carrying a sense of individuality to each gown. That was my idea, actually, to present the team as a family - both to satisfy my own need for one and to present a good public image for the press. Call it getting good cookie from the public - in advance.

"Stunning, absolutely beautiful," Tony chastely kissed my cheek, leading my by the arm towards the limo, Stephen and Bruce a pace behind us. "I'm the luckiest man in the world."

"We are," Bruce corrected him mutely. Stephen's smirk was a mile wide. "It'll be hard to keep my hands to myself for four hours but I'll manage," The scientist added, eyes briefly flashing a fluorescent green.

"There are children here," Peter interjected, nervously waving a hand. I gently elbowed Tony, speaking with my eyes rather than words, that Pete was in dire need of emotional support for his first big public event. With a sigh, the engineer relocated to sit next to the spider boy, both of them talking in hushed tones.

"Now, Bruce," I smiled innocently. "Why would I refuse a dance or five to my favourite lab partner in crime?" I winked at him as giggles erupted all around us. "And I'm sure there's a point somewhere about wizards sweeping princesses off their feet," I kept up the banter in hopes that any remaining tension would evaporate before we arrive to the venue.

I, however, couldn't lose all of it for we were absolutely assaulted by the photographers and press as we arrived to the red carpet; it was only sheer luck that me and Wanda didn't stumble ass over heels out of the limo. That luck's name was Loki: her magic delicately helped us to exit the car with grace despite our large gowns. Mental note to buy Loki all the chocolate: add to priority list.

It went about as good as it could. Peter was introduced as a trainee - and nearly had an aneurysm when Tony none-too-kindly corrected the host, calling Peter his protégée and successor. As for little old me? Rising star of biochemical engineering. No titles, no direct titles, but it was heavily implied we were involved.

I could fell the old, white rich men leering at me despite the layers of silk and tulle. Nobody was commenting on my champagne intake so I downed one after the other until I had a comfortable buzz going on. I could absolutely see why female scientists became either reclusive or brash.

Bruce's eyes followed me wherever I went. I had encountered some people I vaguely knew from all the socialite events I had to attend with my mother, so it wasn't as if I was a fish out of the water; it's just that every time I strayed further than ten feet from out group, I instantly grew a tail in the form of one of the Avengers.

"Sam, quit being creepy," I exited the ladies room, immediately spying the handsome man just 'casually' hanging out by a potted plant, glued to his smartphone and pretending to be very busy.

He looked up guiltily, shutting down Minesweeper and pocketing the phone. "Not taking any risks this time 'round, Princess," He offered me his arm, leading us back to our table. "Tony would have my head."

I rolled my eyes, falling into the chair next to Stephen. "My tracker implant is still in and the bracelets Natasha loaned me are actually tasers. Bird, chill," My hand snuck under the tablecloth, blindly groping for Stephen's hand. It didn't take much time for him to respond, cradling my smaller palm in his larger one, offering the small comfort with a tiny tilt to his lips. Both my large skirt and the fabric covering the table aided the secrecy; I felt like a middle schooler sneaking a kiss from my first crush behind the bleachers.

Coupled with the bubbles in my champagne, it made me giddy.

"Sam is just being careful, Princess," Stephen rumbled patiently. "This ball will be over soon."

I snorted, "But Stephen, I love balls," Causing the whole table erupt in bashful snickers.

"Yeah, think to me about it," Wanda downed the remnants of her wine glass, eyes wide, looking to the side. The giggling became a full belly-laugh as I didn't have the decency to play coy. I just smirked because, yeah, I did love me some...

The final hour dragged on forever. My feet hurt from the dancing. I had my suspicions that time would pass faster if I actually move around so I didn't waste the chance and cajoled Bruce into several slow dances with me. The energy between us was electric; I hoped my wife eyes and the red crawling up his neck would be attributed to alcohol. We spoke in hushed tones, about nothing in particular, the words being like sticks we threw into our fire.

Tony wasn't around much, way too busy to do much more than stop by our table every now and then. I both envied and admired him; he handled everything with grace and serendipity. Tony was right there next to Thor and Loki - literal royalty - and I had to pinch myself to prevent myself from ogling him, sighing in lovesickness every goddamn minute.

"If you ever stop looking at him like that, I don't think he'll survive," Stephen's tone was cheeky; his eyes were intense as he looked down at me as we danced. My sorcerer was rarely sappy, but when he found the words to describe his feelings... It was serious.

I met his eyes slowly, letting him soak in the very same admiration and awe I felt when I was with him. I felt his shudder, I heard the hitch in his breath. He wasn't jealous, no, he simply observed. I wanted him to see what I saw. "The day that I stop looking at you all like that is the day that I need to get my head screwed on straight." I wasn't a poet but neither was this a romance novel. "As far as I'm concerned, I won the lottery, the grand prize and the fucking life."

He chuckled. "You have way too much faith in us, Princess," Twirling me as to avoid the out of habit embrace.

Did I, though? I was inclined to disagree. Sure, we had our spits and arguments and sometimes Stephen would stick his cold ass feet under my blankets, Bruce's love for curry was a crime against anyone who slept in the same room as he and Tony routinely flirted with everyone and everything that had a pulse. I had days where my mother's temper surfaced.

Sometimes, one of us would inadvertently hog the other person and the remaining two would pout, roll their eyes or pitch a fit.

I just didn't see it as a big deal. All of those parts were normal - what couldn't be said about the rest of our situation. Compared to couples I've seen around, I thought we're happy. My boyfriends seemed to be happy, too, and if they weren't, it usually was pretty obvious.

So - okay, perhaps we definitely should be working on verbalizing our feelings. That would definitely solve if not world hunger, then at least the world war three that occasionally erupted in Tony's penthouse. And the ups and downs - not the steep kind, but ones not too different from waves rolling ashore - was what held us together. Because, well, our world was hectic and fast-paced and sometimes we needed that gentle rocking motion to sway us back to peace.

Tony's arm on my waist pulled me back to reality, steering me towards the balcony. Bruce and Stephen followed, all four of us power-walking through the inebriated crowd.

"Just so you know, I'm on board with whatever crazy shit you're planning," Stephen raised a palm towards a smirking Tony.

His mouth immediately dropped into a pout I could barely resist kissing. "But... I had a whole speech prepared," The engineer retorted indignantly, discreetly attempting to swat the sorcerer on the ass.

"And I'm sure it was amazing, honey," Bruce placated the upset Tony with a laugh, causing the latter to intensify his pout, eyeing us with mirth over the rim of his glasses, his stupid, lovely face more kissable than ever.

@another-stark-sub @mostly-marvel-musings  @vozit @littlegasps @pilloclock @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads @hermione-grangers-wife @individualistfem @sleep-i-ness @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney @dee-vn @justanotherblonde23 @fanngirl19 @persephonehemingway @softie-socks @schemefrenzy @letsby @romeo-the-cactus @jelly-fishy-babie @mikariell95 @gladiosamicitias @warrior1-19 @toomanyrobins

[kileyrose-2003]

Tina’s Tuesday Night Mini Fic Pt. 1

Word count: Who cares? Lol

A/N: Hi lovelies! I am back!! First thing, I know. You're probably saying Kiley, wtf? It's not Tuesday. I know. Life happened. I've had a busy past few days and a final today. Anyways, this was something I did with @merci-bitch when the U.S originally went on lockdown. It was a fun way to keep me busy and get my mind off of stuff. We both decided to restart this about a week ago. So, I dedicate this to my dear friend Tina. Love you hun and hope you enjoy this! And please, if you haven't been to her blog to read any of her work, go do so. She works so hard on what she writes and is amazing.

Pt. 2 will be coming next week

To everyone waiting on fics: I'll get there. Eventually. And I'm not going into reasoning. But anyways, love you all and I hope you have a great day!

"...This is the greatest show!" You slammed your hands down on the piano keys and breathed in sharply. "God damn it, Jenny!"

"What?" You let a groan and handed her the sheet music. "Look there at that line there. Do you see that note?”

“I can see, can’t I?” Her bright green eyes lost their cool shade of arrogance when she seen how pissed you look. "Not F!” You pointed to the paper in her hand. “D! You hear that note there?" You pressed down on the key repeatedly. "D!"

"Sorry." The red head smiled at you impishly. "No, you're not. This is the fifth time we've done this and yet you still insist on doing this your own way." She sat next to you on the piano bench and gave your shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “Well, I think the change makes it sound better.”

“Phineas liked it better this way,” you seethed through gritted teeth. “But what does he know of art?” You could feel your face slowing turning a distinct shade of cherry red and you bit down on your tongue.

"He must of known something with how much you tried to get in his pants," you mused to yourself.

You rolled your eyes. You loved Jenny to death but how you couldn't stand her at times. You tried and tried so desperately to get along with her and compromise when she was like this but no matter what you did, she was stubborn and so..cold at times.

Sure, Jenny was a bit of a snob but she was a genius when it came to music and you respected that. She was what inspired you to take up music in the first place.

Your childhood was far from easy. Before you even joined the circus, you were bounced all over the place. You never belonged anywhere. From the deteriorating cottage in a small, seaside village in Sweden to the cramped one bedroom apartment in London that no one would dare walk past at night. Your father was no where to be seen and your mother was an actress, always struggling to meet ends meet. She was never home, but that wasn't always a bad thing. That meant you got to explore.

That was how you got to hearJenny sing for the first time. Hiding out in the musty attic of an old Swedish theatre. Even before she hit extreme levels of fame, her voice was like a siren's call. Drawing you in further and further in. It still was in a way. She was so beautiful and even as much as she pissed you off, you loved watching her sing. Like the time at the palace. She was eye candy in that dress, the way it hugged her hips and how the bust showed the slightest bit of clevage when you looked at her at just the right angle-

"Stop it, Y/n!" You told yourself. "She's not interested in you."

Or was she? The way she looked at you when you spoke to Phineas was always with such contempt or such jealousy. You could never understand why though. It was her who tried to steal Phineas away. Not you. He was a close friend who gave you a chance when you had nothing and you never so much as even thought of eyeing him in such a manner. Phineas clearly wasn't interested in her or any other woman but his wife. He pushed her away numerous times. Jenny had no reason to be jealous of you. Yet, she was.

‘But it is of me or others though?"

One could never be sure with Jenny. Sure, there was a bit of a rivalry between the two of you when it came to music. But she was your friend. 'Very clingy for just a friend,' you noted.

'That's normal though, isn't it?'

Maybe you were just over thinking things. Besides, the relationship between the two of you seemed to be getting better lately. Ever since the scandal went public, it seemed the two of you were spending more and more time together.

You were the only one who listened to her side of the story, held her when she cried, made sure she wasn't drinking her emotions away, and tried to help her through it. Even as much as she pissed you off. You warned her in the first place not to seek out Phineas but despite the nasty arguments, the constant bickering she became your friend. Maybe even your best friend. Which you got alot of shit for.

Nobody liked Jenny and you were starting to get the feeling you weren't so popular anymore either. Everyone thought after the affair went public, the two of you would of left. Her name as well as yours, was slandered all over the paper simply because you associated with her. You had been called it all. The ring leader, the mastermind, the mistress to the two.

But neither of you resigned. Yet. Part of you wondered how long it would be until either would receive letters of negotiations to end your contract. But either way, you knew Jenny wasn't leaving without you. She promised you that.

'So maybe she does like me.'

Then that small voice came in the back of your head. 'Or maybe you just want her to like you back.'

Either way, you couldn't let that haunt your conscience for now. Even as much as you'd like to visualize a future with her, it wouldn't work. You could feel the heat pooling into your cheeks as you came back to reality and bit down on your lip. Jenny's hand was lingering up and down your back, rhythmically making shapes with the tips of her fingers. Damn her and her touch! You shouldn't be feeling this way.

"Are you okay?" You shook your head and covered your face with your hands, trying not focus on all the pain you felt inside. "No. No, I’m not."

You felt tears burning in the sides of your eyes. "This isn’t working!” Jenny furrowed her brow and tried to move your hands away from your face. “What do you mean?” She was trying to be gentle even though you could tell from the look in her eyes she had no clue what to do.

“This..all of this!” You ripped the sheet music out of her hand and flung it on top of the piano. “Something's got to give,"

She rolled her eyes as if she seen it all before and stood up, walking hastily over to the ice bucket. "Do you not have what you want?" She opened up a bottle of red wine. "Fame? Recogniton?"

"It's not enough and I don't know if I even have any of that anymore." Jenny eyed you as she poured the liquor heavily into both glasses. "I'm not liked here, Jenny."

She handed you your glass and sat down next to you. You eagerly took a sip of the wine, just wanting to forget everything for a little while. "That's not true. I like you." She leaned in closer to you.

You cracked a small grin filled with cynicism. Maybe even a little bit of hostility. Never had you felt so much love and hate towards someone at the same time. "We could both leave." Jenny's voice pulled you out of your head.

"And go where?"

"Back to Sweden with me for the time being." You noticed the intensity in Jenny's eyes growing and she reached out and grabbed your hand. You could feel her nimble gently squeezing into the palm of your hand. "You know I care for you, Y/n."

"Do you?" You tried your hardest not to sound sarcastic, you were still a little mad at her. But god! How close she was to you. You could smell her expensive perfume, see the slight hint of a shimmer radiating off of her lips. "You're fiery and you don't take my shit."

This couldn't be real. You had to be dreaming. "Jenny, this...there's a possibility this couldn't work." You tried to scoot away from her, a little intimidated by the proximity between the two of you.

"We can try to make it work."

"How?" You eyed her skeptically. "Let me take you out. Let me show you I can make this work." You furrowed your eyebrows. "Why? Need a new fling after Phineas?" You teased.

Jenny wasn't amused by that all. If anything she was pissed but she smiled anyways. Seeming to stoop down to your level with a smile that was sickly sweet. "More like a date."

"And why should I do this with you?" She let go of your hand and placed it on your thigh. "Because I probably understand you alot more than you think." As you looked into Jenny's eyes, you found some level of sincerity mixed into those deep lustful orbs. You wanted to trust her so badly.

"What do I have to lose?" You thought.

Everything. Everything to lose.

"Fine." You gave in, despise everything in your mind screaming not too. "But you have one shot and one shot only."

Jenny nodded and leaned forward to place a gentle kiss on your cheek. "And it won't take me more than once to impress. After all, I already made your career." You felt the hair on your arms stand straight up as her hands lingered on you, gently squeezing your hips.

"I'll see you tomorrow at 6. Sharp."

"Yeah," you watched as Jenny walked away, her hair flowing behind her like a beautiful sheath.

You felt a pit growing in the depths of your stomach. What the hell had you gotten yourself into?

[hold-my-hand-kuroo]

hi! can I request a Haikyuu scenario? idk if you're write or not for new characters but if you write for them can you write a random fluff scenario with Sakusa Kiyoomi and if you're don't write for new characters then can it be Akaashi Keiji with same scenario?

unintentionally did a sick scenario bc i felt like that would bring the most out of omi, but now that we’re here, stay healthy!! wash ur hands with soap and do not touch ur face!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Sakusa + Sick s/o

“Omi Omi,” you call from the comfort of your blankets. Despite the careful way he positioned all your pillows so that no matter what you’d feel at ease, you can’t help but wonder what he’s been doing outside your room for such a long period of time. Sighing, you try to get his attention again, this time barely a whisper.

“First of all, will you stop calling me that?” Sakusa mutters, entering your room with a tray, his signature mask, and an ugly glare. “Secondly, stop talking, period. You’ll lose your voice completely.”

While setting down the tray, he catches you struggling to get up.

“I said no leaving the bed, didn’t I? Don’t you want to get better?”

“Well, I’m supposed to eat, right?” you ask with a raised eyebrow. “What are you gonna do? Feed me?”

You meant it as a tease, but when Sakusa grabs a chair and sets it next to your bed with a bowl of soup in hand, you almost can’t believe your eyes. Despite his kind gesture, he makes sure to stay at least three feet away from you and chooses instead to stretch his arm so that the spoon can reach your lips. You almost laugh.

“Start giggling and you’ll make me spill the soup,” he quips, rolling his eyes. You listen and take a sip, so that he can retract the spoon. “How…how is it?”

“It tastes like hot water,” you laugh softly. Sakusa says nothing, but you can tell that he’s a little offended. “It’s good hot water though.”

“I can’t help it,” he murmurs, replacing the wet towel on your forehead with a new one. “I just put everything that I thought would help you inside.”

“Oh, I can tell,” is your response, glancing at the murky, brown liquid. On a normal basis, you wouldn’t have drank, but seeing as your boyfriend had spent most of the morning on his creation, you can’t help but feel a little endeared. “I just wish you weren’t so far away from me. I’m starting to get the feeling that you hate me.”

“You know why I’m far away, so stop pretending to be sad,” he groans. “I don’t hate you, but I hate your germs.”

“So you love me?” you tease, almost cursing his mask for blocking what you assumed to be tinted cheeks. “Well? Do you?”

“I don’t hate you.”

“But you don’t even want to hold my hand,” you whine, rolling back and forth on your bed. “You’ve been in my house all day, and all you’ve been doing is lecturing-“

“As I should,” Sakusa grunts, continuing to feed you. “Do you know how risky it is to get sick right now? Sure, it might be just a fever, but imagine how bad it could get? And we both know that you’re terrible at taking care of yourself, so what if you end up collapsing alone in your home? Nobody would know, and you cold freeze to death. Alternatively, consider passing your germs onto me, and we’re both sick, and suddenly, everyone we know is sick.”

“But then if we’re both sick, would you hold my hand?” you ask, amused. “It wouldn’t matter, because if we’re both sick, shouldn’t it cancel out?”

“I think the fever is melting your brain,” he groans. Rolling his eyes for the umpteenth time (you swore they were going to get stuck at the back of his head), Sakusa urges you to finish up quickly. “After you’re done eating you can take the medicine.”

“I guess I should get better soon, huh?” you muse. “You’ll hold my hand when I’m not sick anymore, right?”

“…Yes,” he sighs after thinking.

“Cuddles, too?”

“I guess so.”

“Then,” you continue with a glint of mischief in your eyes, “what about kisses? Are those fair-game?”

This time, there’s a pause before he can answer.

“I’d wait two weeks,” Sakusa finally says, sending you into a fit of quiet giggles. “You never know if symptoms might show up again.”