#my BOY you can’t even see how much you’re suffering!! you’ve been in survival mode for years before you even entered Cales body!!!

[forgetme-eternally-blissfully]

Sorry Cale you’ve still got 121 chapters left before the book ends and I Do Not have hope for you

[harveywritings92]

MHA/BNHA: They get severely injured and you heal them

You're recovery Girl's granddaughter you have a healing quirk called Angel's Glow, which requires skin on skin contact to work, small wounds, bruises and bone fractures are healed in seconds just by placing your hands on the injured area which will glow blue and repair damage, however wounds that are near fatal are different story. In that case, it’s kind of embarrassing, but you treat it how you would hypothermia, stripping down to your panties (or naked) and lay down holding that person close letting your healing aura cover them, of course you've never been in a situation where you've had to do that, pretty much keeping it reserved for your romantic partner, So when you got a call that your boyfriend was severely injured in a fight and his chances of survival aren't looking to good.

__________________

Fatgum/Taishiro:

Reader's age 26.

The last thing Taishiro remembered was fighting this crazy strong villain with an equally strong quirk! So, one can imagine his confusion when the last thing he remembered before blacking out; was fighting as Fatgum and then waking up after who knows how long as Fitgum and in a stranger's bedroom hooked up to a very annoying heart monitor that would not. stop. beeping! Taishiro slowly sat up; with a grimace expecting to feel pain shooting all throughout his body the second he moved, but to his astonishment nothing happened... 

He was sure his left leg was broken during that fight! he cautiously wiggled his toes and jerk his left leg around, nothing no pain... in fact he felt great; giddy like he had just eaten an entire buffet of his favorite foods! But how did... His train thought was cut short when he felt an slender arm around his waist.

Taishiro suddenly became hyperaware of the other person, a woman. laying in the bed next to him! His heartrate spiked causing the monitor to start beeping rapidly!

The blond carefully reached over and gently pushed the woman's hair away from her face, the BMI hero felt a wave of relief wash over him upon seeing the calm sleeping face of his girlfriend Y/n starring back at him. But the relief quickly shifted to befuddlement, why was she here? he then noticed their apparent lack clothes, His yellow eyes widened and felt his face burn; Taishiro swallowed hard as he checked under blanket... why were they just wearing boxers and panties? 

Spotting a some of his spare clothes in Y/n's closet, Taishiro quietly and carefully got out of the bed; unplugged the Heart monitor before taking it off, and got dressed in his track pants and T-shirt, then careful got Y/n dressed in one of his hoodies before tucking her into bed, Just as Recovery-Girl popped her head in to check on them as she couldn't hear the monitor beeping anymore, and got worried she smiled seeing her *hopefully* soon to-be Grandson-law alive and healthy.  

"Oh thank goodness you're awake..."

"Yeah, I jus' woke up. Sorry for intruddin."

"It's nothing to be sorry for, though I'm sure you're confused how you aren't in a coma or dead."

"...What happened to me?"

Recovery-girl gave him the run down after he was put out of commission, Taishiro was in pretty bad shape, the out come was looking grim when Y/n ordered the ambulance be redirected to her private-practice which also doubled as her home, they got got one of her intern's to use their quirk which could burn off his fat, they cleaned his cuts and got him stitched up then the y/ht woman told everyone to go home; save for her grandmother and Kirishima who refused to leave his mentor until he was sure hew was going to be alright.

it was only when he saw Y/n taking her clothes off did the flustered teen ask about those guest rooms, she offered and recovery- Girl lead him out of the room, the y/ht woman slipped into bed next her her unconscious lover and activated her quirk, Tai's whole body was soon surrounded in veil of blue light that slowly started to repair and heal his broken body.

Taishiro smiled gently as he caressed Y/n's cheek making her wince in her sleep. "The poor thing must be exhausted over using her quirk for two days." the pride the tall man had felt to shifted into concern. "two days?!" he croaked he remembered Y/n telling him that her quirk can also transfer her patients pain onto her to the lessen their burdens, and if he was in really bad shape as recovery-girl described... "Is she gonna be okay?" he asked voice cracking, the old nurse frowned knowing that her granddaughter told him about her quirks pain absobtion. "Well, the next couple days won't be very pleasant for her, I may have to keep her sedated." the blond eyes started to burn as he watched Y/n sleeping soundly, vowing stay by her side and to take her on very nice vacation when this was all over, they could both use it.

_______________________

Shoto Todoroki:

Reader age 21, Shoto: 19

This poor touch-starved child was so confused and flustered when he woke up in a strange bed, wearing nothing but his boxers and y/n clinging to him very intimately, all while alarm-bells were going off in his head as part on his mind was still in fight or flight mode as he cautiously scanned his girlfriend expecting this to be a dream, and the villain that attacked him to pop-out at any moment...

After a few moments of waiting for the dream to end, Shoto cautiously used his fire to burn himself he winced feeling the pain burn his wrist, then the pain went numb the bi-colored haired man's brows furrowed before seeing the familiar blue aura from [y/wt] woman's quirk reverse the damage on his wrist, Shoto's stomach churred as realized what she had done, he carefully removed himself from the warm embrace of her bed and looked around the room for something to wear before spotting some a pair of sweat pants and a T-shirt left out for him, he changed then carefully got his girlfriend dressed into her PJs and her tucked in.

Shoto was the picture of calm as he kept a silent vigil over the [y/hc] woman carefully playing with her hair, but internally he was freaking out! Wondering how long had he been out for? and how long had Y/n been healing him? was she going to be okay?! he grimaced at he saw her wince in her sleep; even a blind man could see she was already suffering from the effects of over using her quirk! "Why would you do something so foolish?" he sighed using his cold half to keep Y/n's forehead cool he felt her temperature spike. "Love makes you do very rash decisions." Shoto jumped to see Recovery-Girl behind him and the dual quirked boy immediate bowed his head to her in forgiveness.

"Don't do that Todoroki, you don't need to apologize."

"But because me Y/n is..."

"It's not you're fault dear, Y/n knew the risks as soon as she heard you were in critical condition."

"How long were we like that?" he asked asked dreading the answer Recovery-Girl frowned as she checked her granddaughter's vitals over. "Four days, I won't lie the next couple days won't be kind to my Granddaughter." She saw Shoto wince knowing the guilt eating at him. "But knowing she has a handsome young man looking after her, should help her make a speedy recovery.~" the room's temperature suddenly spikes as a blush adorned Shoto's cheeks Recovery-Girl giggled jubilantly as she left the room leaving Y/n in Shoto's care.

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Touya/Dabi:

Reader age 25 (note you're quirk can't heal his scars (you've tried) you were childhood friends with him, he kidnapped you and keeps you in his safehouse!)

Dabi woke up that morning with a splitting headache, crap how much did he have to drink? he growled taking a sharp breath as his eyes adjusted to his dimly lit bedroom, trying to piece together what happened last night, when he caught something blue in the dim light at first he thought it was his quirk acting up, but then he noticed some of his staples were missing around his stomach...

The it all came flooding back to him one of the Nomus had gotten lose before it could be "trained" and went on a rampage the villains and a couple heroes on the league payroll stropped it, but not without consequences, the beast managed to take a bite out of Dabi's waist, the scarred man somehow managed to make it home... walking through the front door was the last thing he remembered before blacking out, then he felt his stomach drop when he realized that this blue glow wasn't his flames!

Dabi quickly turned the light on above his bed and found a sleeping Y/n hugging his waist her quirk overworking itself trying to fix his scars, which weren't healing because the tissue was to damaged to fix, "You idiot!" he barked getting out of bed, then paused when he felt a rush cold air on his everything, his teal eyes looked down... Yep, naked as the day he was born, he cussed and checked under the thin sheet Y/n had covered them in, same story.

He check her temperature she was freezing!  "Tch" Dabi quickly readjusted the sheet around his girlfriend's shivering body then went and put on some black sweat pants, he quickly went to drawers and grabbed a pair of boxers and a t-shirt and put those on his y/ht girlfriend, then grabbed the discarded blanket from off the floor covering the couple.

Dabi used his quirk to boost up his body temp while rubbing Y/n’s arms trying warm her up. the last thing he needed was her getting sick, however he paused his ministrations and checked his burner phone... shit it been 2 days since the incident! He had a lot of messages from the league demanding to know where he was, He should probably get around to telling them he's alive... meh, maybe after Y/n recovered those f-ckers will live. 

[happyreid187]

Sharing Space -Spencer Reid x Gn!reader

Description: Broaching the topic of moving in together. AKA the one where reader miscommunicates and Spencer totally panics. Gender neutral Warnings: Anxiety/insecurity. Fluffy tears. Reader and Spence are dumb.

Words: ~1.5 K

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It had been a painfully long week. Your coworkers were incompetent, your (patients/ clients/ customers) were demanding, and your boss - well, he made them look anything but by comparison. You were beyond exhausted, feeling like you were in survival mode. The last thing you wanted to think about was moving, but the day was sneaking up on you, and you had just over a month until your lease was up. That’s one month to talk to Spencer about what the hell it is you were going to do about that, then to pack, and move, and maybe look for apartments depending on how the aforementioned conversation went. You liked to think you knew him pretty well - he had opened up a lot to you compared to his baseline of complete secrecy and independent processing. But you had no idea how he was going to handle this conversation. You spent nearly all your time together - you split your time pretty evenly between the two apartments, but you were almost always together. Almost is a very important caveat, however. There’s a big difference between constant and usually, and you weren’t sure Spencer was capable of the former, much less ready. There’s a difference between choosing to see someone all the time, and needing to. You didn’t want to suffocate him. Sure, you enjoyed daydreaming about how you would construct your collective space, what it would be like to have even more domestic moments with him. Right now you spent as much time together as possible, but work took so much time from both of you - all you wanted in the world was more pancake mornings, more laying in bed, more showers together - these glorious little intimacies that were the highlights of your life. More sitting across the room reading, more doing dishes together, more grocery shopping - banal, unsexy experiences that would be boring with anyone else, but were delightful with him. You were unequivocally ready to live with him, but you had precisely zero faith in what his reaction to that question would be. Perhaps you were just being insecure - he loved you, and signing a new lease when you already more or less reside in one felt financially and emotionally irresponsible. Yet you had always been the more ready one - you were more accustomed to loving and being loved. You knew you loved him for months before he finally said it. It took him a while to get used to you, to affection, to trust. Spencer had come a long way but it wasn’t enough for you to confidently ask to move in with him. Regardless of your apprehension, in order to avoid being homeless, you were going to have to come up with some sort of plan. “Hey baby,” he draws you in as you walk through the door of his apartment. Home. It had been a week since he left for a case, and you had missed him to an embarrassing degree. He smelled so cozy. Looking at his face felt both familiar and magical in a way that should be totally antithetical, but wasn’t. “Hey,” you replied quietly, smushed against his shoulder, trying to subtly take in his scent without seeming like a total creep. “How was work?” you asked quietly, still through the fabric. “It was... an absolutely horrific parade of human suffering.” he replied “Wow! That’s a little harsh...” you giggled, “but also same.” “I’m so happy to be home with you,” he sighed against your hair, and in yet another paradox of the day, you managed to feel two totally opposite things at once. You felt your heart rise at his words and your stomach fall - elation and anxiety together in your chest. “Yeahhh about that...” you stepped back. Spencer looked acutely distressed. “What? What’s wrong? D-Did something happen when I was gone? Did I - did you um... y/n...” he gasped your name in a total panic. “No nothing’s wrong, it’s fine - jesus, this is such a shitty start to what could be a very different conversation.” He looked slightly guilty for a second, feeling like he had ruined everything, but then his hatred of surprises took over, and his eyes narrowed at you suspiciously. You could feel the nervousness radiating off of him, but you could also feel slight annoyance. “What? What’s happening?!” “I - nothing! Relax, Spence, everything is oka-“ he didn’t let you finished, jumping in with “Are you breaking up with me?” a faint mist welling in his eyes. How did he draw that conclusion? He had listened to your first three words and ignored every reassurance after it. What a dumb, smart boy. “Spencer, what?? NO! Of course not,” you rushed towards him, pulling him into your arms and kissing his cheeks. “Why would you even ask me that?” you squeeled in a high pitch, borderline sing songy baby voice trying to stop him from crying. Tears can be healthy and all, but this is not how you wanted this conversation to go, and you wanted to shift back on course immediately. “Baby no - it’s the opposite - I....” the nervousness was upon you again. In his panicked state, he was not having that. “Y/n, whatever it is, you have to tell me right now because I - I can’t” he was successfully holding back the tears but only just. “I’m not trying to keep you in suspense I’m just nervous! Slow. Down.” He nodded at you, drawing in a shaky breath. “My lease... is up... next month.” “What? Yeah, I know.” he responded, looking totally dumbfounded that you would assume he didn’t. You were about to ask how the hell he knew that, but you could already guess the answer “You mentioned something about the time you moved in once 10 months ago in passing and I knew it was a year long lease and blah blah I’m perfect and I listen to and remember everything you ever say....” Yeah, something along those lines. “So I - I don’t know what you want to do. I can look for apartments, or - “ You paused and offered up your hands in a sort of shrug, post prayer movement. “What?” he asked for what felt like the thousandth time that day. Blinking quickly, he continued, voice confused and still panicked “Why? Why would you do that?” You uselessly shrugged your awkward hands. “I don’t know! You’re a person who wants your space. I wasn’t sure if you would want me here.” You watched his body relax, literally sinking into himself. He put his hands over his face, chuckling and wiping what tears were left by his eyes. He stepped closer to you, and with a sly grin and a cocked eyebrow and asked “Is this your incredibly messed up way of asking to move in with me?” “I - yes! Yeah, I want to move in with you.” You laughed. “I knew this would be a stressful conversation but you really took it to a different level.” he shook his head at your words. “It didn’t need to be stressful,” he pulled you in for a deep kiss. “How could you think I would say anything but yes? Of course I want to live with you. I basically already do.” he was smiling his wide smile now - the one that lit up his whole face, that you saw too rarely but that totally dissolved every worry in the world. You still felt the worries needed to be mentioned, saying “You didn’t even let me get the words out before you were worrying about a breakup? You know - or you have some idea of - how much I love you. I would never, ever break up with you. How did your brain get there that quickly?” “Well, I guess I still think our life together is too good to be true, but I’m working on that. You stared into his eyes, and whispered against his lips “I’m here.” and kissed him “I’m not going anywhere.” “I know. It’s mostly just...” he pouted. “It’s just that you’ve never not been happy to see me before.” You couldn’t take his mostly fake pouting face seriously, so you leaned into his ear to hide your smile. “I was happy to see you genius, I just had something to ask you.”

[satonthelotuspier]

Truly Indomitable

I’m still here! Honestly, I’m still writing, I just haven’t posted much to tumblr recently for various reasons. I’m still quite active on twitter and AO3 though, for anyone who’s interested, links on my blog header.

That being said, I finally got around to writing the post canon golden core rejection fic I talked about many moons ago. This is endgame Xicheng with some Yunmeng Shuangjie reconciliation (because once you’ve written one rec, you need to write more). There is a pre-fic to this I wrote for the Untamed Spring Fest back in April or May, its been so long I can’t remember when it was (2020 has been A Year right?) but the odds of me being able to find it with tumblr like it is...(it’s series linked on AO3 if anyone is interested)

15k+ words with a happy ending.

Introducing Jiang Cheng’s Vipers.

CW for: Body dysphoria, blood, past torture, MC peril, discussions on death.

“Jiang-zongzhu!” Jiang Cheng heard the call, and ducked behind a tree to avoid one of myriad people who had been bustling for his attention over the past day.

Was there little wonder, with the kind of hassle he was subjected to when attending conferences like this, he was virtually becoming a hermit in Lotus Pier most of the time?

If it wasn’t sect leaders looking to curry favour, or arrange marriages with their daughters (even though he was officially persona non gratis in the eyes of most female cultivators now, due to one or two...unfortunate – yet highly convenient...mishaps,) it was Wei Wuxian and his horde of adoring ducklings, after permission for Jin Ling to join them on this adventure or that adventure. As if the little shit didn’t do as he pleased and paid no attention to Jiang Cheng’s opinions, anyway.

Not that that was necessarily a bad thing, his nephew was the Jin sect leader now, after all, and if he could continue to show that kind of spine in that role, all the better.

He froze, his musings halted, as his body temperature rose suddenly, and he automatically dropped to the ground, placing the bottle of contraband Emperor’s Smile beside him, and tried to clear his mind.

He rarely got much pre-warning when it happened, but he never had, and twenty or so years later, he was more than used to dealing with it.

It began with the increase in temperature, and then the qi began to roll through his channels, burning like fire as it surged and flowed, molten and rampant.

It was the usual mixture of meditation methods Lei Shirong, his sect physician, had vaunted, and force of implacable will, that he eventually quelled the tide, though he knew it was becoming harder and harder for him to gain control as time went by.

He had suffered periodically from the same issue since he had been a young man.

He had initially thought the problem was attributable to the fact he had been given a new golden core, and he just needed time to grow used to it, it hadn’t been the one he formed himself, after all, and was one Baoshan Sanren had given him, with all the implications that had.

No matter how long he’d waited, however, no matter how much he’d worked to bed the new core in, it had always felt like something alien in his body, something uncomfortable, painful, and always unpredictable. Several times, usually in the midst of battle, where he called on his spiritual energy for extended periods of time, he had completely lost control. Once, he had been saved by Lan Xichen, who had carried him away from a Sunshot campaign battlefield and settled his meridians with his own spiritual energy.

When the fact that it was actually Wei Wuxian’s core, rotating behind is lower dantian, had been revealed, it was like everything clicked into place.

How could the core behave like his own, when it had been formed by his shixiong, who was as different from Jiang Cheng as day was to night?

The fact it had been so many years, and it had still not been fully responsive to him, still felt like a stone in his gut, now made sense to him.

And since the Guanyin Temple, Jiang Cheng had felt it suddenly spiral out of control with much more frequency, and it was becoming harder each time to steady that surging tide of qi.

It had never been meant for his body, so how could it behave as if it had?

How could he control it as if it had?

He placed an open palm against his navel, where the core twisted and churned behind his dantian.

It was only a matter of time now, surely, before it reached the point he couldn’t settle it’s reaction. It wasn’t exactly caused by qi deviation, but he thought the outcome would likely be the same.

Hopefully he had a little more time, to make sure Jin Ling was secure as Jin Sect Leader, and make arrangements for the succession of his clan. There were several promising candidates who he could add to his family registry, to ensure the clan he had given everything for, survived after he was gone. Not least his physician, Lei Shirong, or his head disciple, Yang Hai, or his sister, Yang Mei. All were extremely competent, intelligent members of his sect. All were strong cultivators in their own right. And all were unfailingly loyal to Yunmeng Jiang.

He was climbing back to his feet, intending to return to his accommodations and continue his quest to get drunk, when the strident call of; “Jiang Cheng!” had his hackles rising.

Not Wei Wuxian, not now. He genuinely didn’t think he could face the man knowing his body was making the final move towards rejecting the core his shixiong had sacrificed everything to give him.

Wanted or not, it had cost Wei Wuxian so much, he couldn’t look him in the eye and pretend everything was fine at the moment, so he scooped up the jar of Emperor’s Smile, and slipped carefully deeper into the shadows. He found himself in a courtyard surrounded by residences. They were all dark and unlit, silent, probably empty. It wasn’t yet the designated Lan sleeping time, so he thought he had fallen lucky, and, at the sound of Wei Wuxian’s quick, heavy tread still approaching, he did the only thing possible, and slipped over the windowsill of one of the empty buildings, intending to wait Wei Wuxian out.

He settled himself on the floor next to window, and removed the seal on the jar, tipping it up and taking a deep drink. He might as well wait in style.

“Jiang-zongzhu,” a rich, timbred voice sounded from out of the darkness, and the lamps placed around the room suddenly leapt to life, illuminating the sparsely, yet elegantly, furnished rooms, “it’s very kind of you to drop by, quite literally. Altough, I believe it’s customary to wait to be invited.”

He was frozen for a few beats of his heart, which then began rabbiting in his chest thanks to the shock of hearing a voice from the darkness.

How in the world had he been stupid enough, unlucky enough, to accidentally breach the Hanshi; who’s master was currently in seclusion after the events of the Guanyin Temple?

Could he have made a bigger mistake if he’d tried?

The elder man was currently hidden from his sight, sat behind a screen which partitioned off that side of the rooms, and the gentle click of a tea cup being placed on a lacquered table sounded.

“Lan-zongzhu…” he was about to offer his apologies, but heard Wei Wuxian’s still-loud voice from somewhere outside the Hanshi.

“Jiang Cheng! I know you’re here somewhere.”

Lan Xichen murmured an understanding, “Ah,” then remained silent for a while, until they were both sure Wei Wuxian had moved his search on elsewhere.

“Lan-zongzhu, I apologise unreservedly for intruding on your seclusion.” It was now time for him to salvage what he could out of the encounter, and beg for forgiveness.

There was a few moments before the other answered, “No harm done. Perhaps, if you will, merely stay that side of the screen. I assume you wish to wait a while to ensure Wei-gongzi is well and truly gone?”

He flushed a little at the other reading him so very easily, but there was no use denying he had been avoiding that man, like a coward.

“Then I’ll trouble you for a little while longer.” He couldn’t deny it, however, and there was nothing for it other than to accept the elder man’s generous offer.

He lifted the jar in his hands to take another deep, settling drink. Except he had forgotten…

“Jiang Wanyin, is that Emperor’s Smile that you’re drinking, in the Sect Master of the Lan sect’s private rooms, which you have just breached, without permission?”

Suddenly, he was a fifteen year old boy again, caught in the process of sneaking Emperor’s Smile into the Cloud Recesses with Wei Wuxian, and he felt the flush creep up his neck as he put the earthenware jar back on the floor like it had suddenly become red hot to the touch.

Luckily Lan Xichen couldn’t currently see his blushes of shame.

He also couldn’t see that the jar Jiang Cheng held was Emperors Smile. He could just lie.

But that felt very wrong to him, so he made a non-committal sound, to which Lan Xichen chuckled gently in response.

“Some things never change.” Lan Xichen said, a hint of something like nostalgia in his tone, then; “And some things change completely.” And then he was silent.

Jiang Cheng didn’t feel like breaking that silence. He was, after all, intruding on the man’s seclusion. So he sat there for a while, making no sound. He was therefore surprised when eventually Lan Xichen was the one to speak. He had been on the verge of getting up to leave, but Lan Xichen’s voice made him pause.

“How is Jin Rulan fairing, Jiang-zongzhu?”

Jiang Cheng was thrown, and wasn’t entirely sure how to answer. Well, he obviously knew how Jin Ling was fairing, but he didn’t know how much it would be sensible to refer to the Guanyin Temple, it was, after all, what had driven Lan Xichen into secluded meditation, all those months ago. He played for a little time to order his thoughts.

“How is it I was Jiang-zongzhu, then Jiang Wanyin, then back again, in the space of minutes?”

“Jiang Wanyin.” Lan Xichen took the hint, and settled on the less formal mode of address. Alone together in the Hanshi, it made the most sense.

He had decided, in the precious extra seconds the comment had bought him, that there was no point prevaricating. Once the other exited seclusion, the world couldn't be expected to never bring up the subject in front of him ever again.

“It was a blow to him, no doubt. It’s taken a lot of adjusting for him, and the weight of a sect leader sits heavily on his shoulders, he’s so young…”

Even younger than Lan Xichen had been, than Jiang Cheng had been, when they had taken over their respective clans.

“I thought we were done with a world that forced it’s children to grow up as quickly as we had to, when the Wens fell. That I was party to that…that I enabled it…” there was a catch to his voice.

And there was a part of Jiang Cheng that uncharitably thought Lan Xichen should suffer for his guilt, but that was the part of him that had watched, powerless and vulnerable, in the Guanyin Temple, as everyone in the world that he cared about, was put in danger at the hands of Jin Guangyao. Considering his past, no one could have blamed him for his fear for them.

But he also understood what kind of a person Lan Xichen was, and it was a good person. He had a lot of advantages in life, there wasn’t a doubt about that; he came from one of the richest sects in the world, he was an extremely powerful cultivator, he was impossibly handsome, and he could be whatever he wanted, but he was still a genuinely kind person. And they were so very rare.

He knew, in his heart, that Lan Xichen couldn’t be held accountable for Jin Guangyao’s villainy; the man had fooled the entire world for years, with his dazzling dimples and accommodating smile. Jin Guangyao alone was responsible for what had happened. And there would have been no guarantee that his twisted little snake mind wouldn’t have found some way to remove Lan Xichen, if his naivety hadn’t left him blind to what the Chief Cultivator was doing.

Really, the twists and turns of that man’s plots didn’t bear trying to follow, someone as straightforward as Jiang Cheng just couldn’t fathom him.

And he was glad for that.

He might not be perfect when compared to Jin Guangyao’s perceived perfection, he might be rough around the edges when compared to Jin Guangyao’s smoothness, his forcefulness might have looked overbearing when compared to Jin Guangyao’s subtle misdirection, but people got what they saw with Jiang Cheng.

Jiang Cheng was a blunt instrument compared to Jin Guangyao’s sharp little dagger.

Did it make him a better person? He couldn’t say. And he didn’t care much anymore.

Would he have preferred that his nephew was able to be a carefree child for longer? Yes. Of course. Although, since his cousin’s death there had always been an understanding that he was the heir to the Jin sect, and had been treated as such, trained as such. Jiang Cheng knew from personal experience that the heir to a sect only had so much freedom to be a child.

But Jin Ling would be fine. He was strong. He would be fine. He had Wei Wuxian now, and his friends, when Jiang Cheng was gone.

He wet his lips with his tongue. Despite the fact he tried to consider the positives, the thought of leaving Jin Ling alone, like so many others of his family had, tasted sour on his tongue.

There wasn’t much he could do about it, however, the core inside him was a measure of his mortality, and when that measure ran out...

They had drifted into unhappy silence again, each man lost to the abyss of his own negative thoughts.

To try to distract himself, Jiang Cheng picked up the jar, and raised it to his lips. He glanced at the screen, trying to imagine the expression the Jade might be wearing on the other side.

“He seems to have made some firm friends out of the experience, however,” Jiang Cheng said, suddenly uncomfortable at the lack of discussion, “I’m glad. It was something he never had growing up, and it was something I could never give him. I could protect him, and teach him, and be his uncle, but I could never be his confidante, or his peer.”

“The younger generation don’t want old relics like us spoiling their fun.” There was a hint of a smile back in Lan Xichen’s voice.

“Just so.” Jiang Cheng agreed. Wei Wuxian, with his breezy personality and easy charm, however, would tame the birds from the trees.

He was just the kind of “uncle” teenagers would find fun.

He settled back against the wall, and, giving the Emperor’s Smile the attention it deserved, began to recount one of the many incidents he could remember from their time at the Cloud Recesses, where they had gotten into trouble, mostly at Wei Wuxian’s fault for the famed alcohol.

He was feeling a little nostalgic, a little melancholic, and perhaps, a little mellow.

Jin Ling would probably be surprised he was capable of the latter.

“In your honest opinion, is it to be as vaunted as Wei Wuxian would have us believe?” Lan Xichen asked as his low laughter faded.

Jiang Cheng took another mouthful and savoured the taste, considering Lan Xichen’s question.

“Perhaps. It’s very smooth. But Wei Wuxian always had a better head for this kind of thing than I do.”

He had drunk as a youngster to keep up with Wei Wuxian, who had always had more of a taste for alcohol than the young Jiang Cheng. Now, he occasionally overindulged to numb and forget for a while.

“Did it never bother you, growing up with so many rules? Being expected to be so damn perfect all the time?” Perhaps it was the Emperor’s Smile that loosened his tongue enough to ask Lan Xichen that very personal question.

“You of all people know as much as I that a sect leader in waiting is expected to be so much more than any other children of the sect, Wanyin.” Lan Xichen answered, eventually, his voice low. And the use of his courtesy name on it’s own caused the hairs at the back of his neck to stand on end. “But I learned a lot earlier than Wangji it was possible that, while some rules should be considered absolute, others we can learn to bend sometimes, if necessary.”

It was a fair comment, Lan Wangji had been a stickler for rules and order back then. Much less so now, if it came to his beloved Wei Wuxian. Whereas Lan Xichen never seemed to see the world is such shades of black and white. Perhaps it would have been kinder if he had, and hadn’t been quite so accepting of Jin Guangyao’s grey. Perhaps not.

The evening had drawn on, and it was only as Jiang Cheng heard the other stifling a yawn that he realised his intrusion had kept Lan Xichen up beyond his clan’s sleeping

time.

It appeared Lan Xichen still bent those rules when the need arose.

He climbed to his feet, “My apologies, Lan Xichen, it appears as well as being rude enough to trespass on your seclusion, I’ve intruded upon your rest as well. I appreciate your kind, if unwillingly provided, hospitality.”

“Jiang Wanyin, I’ve enjoyed having your company, perhaps you could visit with me again before you’re due to leave.”

“I’m sure you’re merely being kind, and I thank you for it, I would hope not to disturb you again, and bid you a good night”

“Quite the contrary, I would be very happy if you did, Jiang Wanyin. Goodnight, sleep well.”

He took his leave.

He wasn’t sure if it was the numbing effect of the alcohol, but he did, indeed, sleep well that evening.

********************************************************************

The unusual feeling of being well-rested stayed with Jiang Cheng for most of the rest of the next day. The morning was taken up with routine discussions, and the afternoon was set aside for a joint hunt.

As a sect leader Jiang Cheng wouldn’t be taking part, and he intended to take the opportunity to meet with Jin Ling on his own, and press him on how he was faring, as his friends would all be busy in the activities.

He would search Jin Ling out after he had seen Yang Mei and Yang Hai on their way as Yunmeng Jiang representatives in the same.

To that end they made their way towards the front gate, where the party would be forming.

Yang Hai was recounting the news from Lotus Pier, that he had received via dispatch that morning, but Jiang Cheng, unusually, only half paid attention to him, the other part of his mind had wandered to Lan Xichen’s words of the previous evening. He wondered if he could take them at face value, or whether Lan Xichen was merely being polite?

He had sounded genuine. But Jiang Cheng, as ever, didn’t always trust his ability to read people.

He was jerked out of his thoughts at the sudden appearance of Wei Wuxian, annoyed and frowning.

“Jiang Cheng!”

“Shit.” He didn’t realise he’d verbalised the curse, until Yang Mei stepped forward and into Wei Wuxian’s path.

“Wei-gongzi, Jiang-zongzhu is particularly busy at the moment, perhaps you would like to make an appointment, if there is something you wish to discuss.”

“Jiang Cheng can stop pretending to be too busy to talk to me, and face me like a man.” Wei Wuxian said it mockingly, like he always had. Unfortunately he was now walking among people who didn’t understand his, admittedly trying, character. Wei Wuxian hadn’t been part of Yunmeng Jiang for too many years. Then, he made the mistake of reaching out to take her by the shoulders, intending to move her to one side, so he could pass her to reach Jiang Cheng.

Jiang Cheng of course expected the series of events, and moved quickly to enact what damage control he could. He was between Wei Wuxian and Yang Mei in an instant.

Behind him, the air crackled as two identical navy-coloured whips appeared in Yang Mei’s and Yang Hai’s hands, but Jiang Cheng spread his arm, hand flat and indicating they should stay back as he also raised Sandu, hilt reversed in his hand, to catch Bichen’s forward thrust.

He knew Lan Wangji wouldn’t have moved to kill, and merely reacted to defend Wei Wuxian, but he was also aware Yang Mei and Yang Hai didn’t particularly like Lan Wangji. They were loyal to a fault to Jiang Cheng, and his less than harmonious relationship with Wei Wuxian’s husband was no secret to anyone in the cultivational world. He didn’t know how they would react to the perceived threat. Therefore, he put himself between them before they could all find out.

The greater part of him hoped Lan Wangji would recognise his actions as the de-escalation they had been, but there was a small, secret, part of himself that wished he wouldn’t, Sandu had never been tested against Bichen, and it was a battle that was probably long overdue.

Considering his own impending mortality, it wasn’t really a battle he could lose.

They were all frozen in the odd tableau for a few beats of the heart, before Wei Wuxian, who had been shocked at the demonstration of the twins’ link to his mother’s clan, turned to take Lan Wangji’s wrist, and pull it back, “Lan Zhan,” he said soothingly, and Lan Wangji took his eyes off of Jiang Cheng to look at Wei Wuxian.

Weak, to take your eyes from an enemy, but what was love if it wasn’t a weakness they all shared?

“I shouldn’t have laid hands on one of Jiang Cheng’s Spiders.” Wei Wuxian continued, and Lan Wangji withdrew Bichen after a few seconds, with a nod of agreement.

Jiang Cheng sheathed Sandu, and the pressure in the air behind him indicated the Yangs’ spiritual weapons had also been dismissed.

“We need to go, or we’ll be late.” Jiang Cheng stood back, and turned to Yang Mei, who nodded, and fell into step with her brother, at Jiang Cheng’s shoulders.

“Why are you avoiding me, Jiang Cheng?” Wei Wuxian called after him.

He stopped short, and turned, temper flaring. Even now, the things he did for Wei Wuxian were never enough of him. “Wei Wuxian, you said everything was settled, and we should forget the past and go our own way. You don’t get to yank at me for your amusement, like I’m a dog on a rope. If you wish to speak to me on sect business, make an appointment, like everyone else.” And he spun on his heel and marched off, his Vipers in tow.

His mother had had her Spiders, and Jiang Cheng had his Vipers, sent by his relatives in Meishan Yu shortly after the Siege of the Burial Mounds, the twins had their orders to assimilate into the Jiang sect and protect him, as Yinzhu and Jinzhu had for his A-Niang. They had quickly earned positions as his most trusted disciples.

“Foul-tempered wretch.” Wei Wuxian called at his retreating back.

But he ignored it, Wei Wuxian wanted him to react, to interact. Wei Wuxian didn’t deserve that from him anymore.

“Jiang-zongzhu-,” Yang Hai began to question.

“We have somewhere to be,” he repeated, and that was the end of the matter.

********************************************************************

Later than evening, and for some unknown reason, he found himself in the Hanshi’s courtyard again.

He had another jar of Emperor’s Smile tucked into the crook of his arm, and he made his way up the steps, and decided entering through the window two nights in succession was pushing his luck. He sat, instead, beneath the window, on the verandah.

It was a relatively warm evening for the time of year, although the mountains of Gusu were always significantly cooler than the lakes of Yunmeng.

Jiang Cheng found it quite soothing to be there though, and unstopped the jar of alcohol, drinking deeply.

There was a soft sound from inside, and Jiang Cheng thought it was likely Lan Xichen sitting on the floor beneath the window, mirroring Jiang Cheng’s posture through the wall.

“You came, Wanyin.”

He made a non-committal sound; but he was a little embarrassed at how happy Lan Xichen sounded about that. He had returned, but he really didn’t know why, except that the more he thought about it, the more it seemed to him that Lan Xichen’s invitation had been a definite request, rather than a suggestion. It wasn’t too much to believe the other had become very lonely in seclusion, and perhaps he was now working towards re-entering society, chatting with Jiang Cheng might be Lan Xichen beginning to interact with the wider world again, in a situation that was still relatively safe for him.

“I was passing, drinking my Emperor’s Smile.” He said it almost challengingly, but Lan Xichen let it pass, as Jiang Cheng had expected him to.

They talked on lighter subjects that the previous evening, it was pleasant and undemanding, to sit and talk about things that didn’t matter in the slightest. This was something Jiang Cheng had never really had. Not since he’d lost his A-Jie and his Shixiong had Jiang Cheng had anyone to talk about anything but the most important matters. He knew that was his own fault, and due to the nature of his personality; he wasn’t easygoing or personable like Wei Wuxian was. He never had been, he had always tended more towards shyness, and seriousness as a boy, even despite Wei Wuxian’s best efforts to change that, and as a man, the seriousness hadn’t changed, but he had become cold, closed off, as a defence. He had lost too much to let anyone else in.

That evening Jiang Cheng excused himself again at the point that it became obvious Lan Xichen was flagging and ready to sleep. Again, the other expressed his hope that they could continue at a later date, and Jiang Cheng again wondered at anyone choosing to spend their time with him.

He wasn’t much of a charming conversationalist, he wasn’t erudite, or witty, but still Lan Xichen had asked him to return.

It became a regular meeting, this faceless companionship through the open window of the Hanshi, some evenings they talked of nothing at all of worth, and others they touched on more delicate, important subjects. It was almost like some form of mutual therapy.

Except Jiang Cheng never touched upon the most important subject of what was happening with his core.

Beyond Lei Shirong, his sect physician, Lan Xichen probably was the closest to knowing about the issue. Not even Wei Wuxian himself knew Jiang Cheng had suffered losses of control, as he had sworn the other two to complete secrecy on the matter. Not that Lan Xichen had reason to believe it had been anything more than a qi deviation he had rescued Jiang Cheng from.

That over the last few days there had been several more instances was a good indication that the core was becoming increasingly unstable. It was likely only a matter of time until he actually went into whatever form of qi deviation it would cause.

He thought he probably ought to return to Lotus Pier. He wanted the end to come in the same place his parents had fallen.

It would be of no real benefit, but it was his wish.

Luckily the conference would only last a few more days, then he could return.

That night, he found Lan Xichen in quite an introspective mood. He spoke more of Jin Guangyao, and how he had tried his best to change the darkness he had always sensed lurked beneath the surface.

Jiang Cheng sympathised, he knew himself how helpless it left a person feeling when someone you cared for began to slip through your fingers, and, like sand, no matter how tightly you tried to grasp it, it only made it trickle away faster.

“I felt so guilty for my part in what happened, for enabling him-,” Lan Xichen paused.

“I don’t think you’d be human if you didn’t feel a sense of guilt, we all do, that we let things happen they way they turn out, even when it isn’t our fault. It’s not unusual.”

They drifted into contemplative silence again. There were very often periods of silence between them, but they didn’t feel uncomfortable, neither felt forced to fill them with pointless noise.

Left to silence, his mind wandered, he had been thinking a lot on the subject of his impending demise recently, and he was again, just full enough of Emperor’s Smile that it had loosened his tongue a little.

“What do you think death is like? Not what you’re told to believe it’s like, what you actually think it’s like?”

The question seemed to have surprised Lan Xichen; he made no immediate response.

“I don’t know,” was the eventual reply, “sometimes I wonder if it might be kinder if there just wasn’t anything, a soul may just find rest in oblivion, unhampered by what it had suffered, and caused to suffer, in life. But that’s also a scary thought, isn’t it? That everything you do, or struggle to be, in this life, doesn’t matter after all. Oblivion isn’t what we strive for as cultivators,.”

Jiang Cheng made a sound of agreement.

“Perhaps this would be a discussion best had with Wei Wuxian-,”

“No.” He realised as soon as he spoke the single denial it was too forceful, too much. “No need to bother him, it was merely a musing.”

Silence again.

Then, “I take it things are still...difficult between you and your shixiong, Wanyin.”

He let the shixiong pass, “We’re different people now, Lan Xichen, that’s all. Wei Wuxian left that life behind him.” He stood up. He knew it was earlier than any of their previous evenings had ended, and he knew it was running away. But there were some things he wasn’t equipped to deal with. And Wei Wuxian, was one of them. “You’ll excuse me, I have an early start tomorrow. There’s still much to get through before the end of the conference. Good night, Xichen.”

“Good night.” Gods, why did that touch of sadness tug so much at Jiang Cheng’s heart? Like a kicked puppy, and if puppies weren’t Jiang Cheng’s biggest weakness. “I’m sorry if I overstepped any boudaries. Sleep well, Wanyin.”

“I-,” he had no idea what he had been about to say, Lan Xichen hadn’t really overstepped, but he was so sensitive on the subject of Wei Wuxian. He closed his eyes; he didn’t know how to extract himself out of this situation without hurting either Lan Xichen, or himself. In the end, he made the same decision he always had when the choice was his, and chose himself. “You didn’t overstep, I’m sorry I’m so-,”

“Don’t, Wanyin. You don’t owe anyone anything you aren’t willing to give. I’m sure you really are busy tomorrow. Perhaps you’d be kind enough to forgive me, and come again tomorrow evening. I know your time is limited, and the conference ends shortly.”

Lan Xichen really was too kind for this world of theirs.

“I’ll do my best.” It was so easy to give such a promise to Lan Xichen. “Sleep well, Xichen.”

********************************************************************

There was no disguising from himself that Lan Xichen was on tenterhooks after their awkward parting the previous evening. He spent a lot of the following day wondering how it was possible he had become so very dependent on the company of Jiang Wanyin, in such a very short time.

While they had always been cordial in the past, they were never particularly close. Lan Xichen was ashamed to remember he had been too tied up in his brotherhood with Nie Mingjue and Jin Guangyao, too focussed on trying to help them, to pay very much mind to the young man in Yunmeng who had lost virtually everything, and still limped on, dragging his sect up from the remains of Lotus Pier, by the sheer force of his hard work and will, to return as one of the strongest, most influential sects in the world.

He had been considering for a while, before Jiang Cheng had crashed through his window to avoid Wei Wuxian, that he would shortly start making a move to leave seclusion. He thought he had taken away what measure of peace, and atonement, he could from the process. He knew from personal experience with his father, that when a Lan entered seclusion, the people left on the outside were hurt the most, carrying on the burden, and therefore it had only ever been intended to be a temporary measure for him, to reflect on and repent for his own part in the villainy Jin Guangyao had undertaken, and to mourn for Nie Mingjue properly.

The Jiang Sect leader had smashed into his seclusion, and, with his personality, an odd mixture of sarcasm, matter-of-factness, pragmatism, humour and cutting insight, had reminded Lan Xichen that life was for the living, and there was a world outside the Hanshi, and it wasn’t all bad.

And he had accidentally stepped into a hornets nest last night, and hurt Jiang Wanyin, which he would never wish to do.

What if Jiang Wanyin hadn’t forgiven him? What if he didn’t come back tonight?

Lan Xichen gnawed on his lower lip, glancing at the door to the Hanshi. He could visit Jiang Wanyin, and apologise again, if needed. If he left the Hanshi.

He began pacing as the evening mealtime passed, and the time approached that Jiang Wanyin had normally arrived outside his window, with his jar of Emperor’s Smile.

Nothing. The time came and passed.

He paced a little more.

But it grew obvious Jiang Wanyin wasn’t coming.

He could genuinely be too busy, sect leaders were greatly in demanding during discussion conferences, especially from the larger sects, as lesser sects jostled and fought for a little of their time. Jiang Wanyin was also a very eligible bachelor, despite, as he understood it, most female cultivators having put him on a blacklist.

More fool them.

He paused in his pacing as he examined the thought.

Yes, Jiang Wanyin was a catch. But one had to look beneath the tough exterior, the facade, the defence, to the man underneath.

Something he doubted Jiang Wanyin himself wanted people to do. He wouldn’t be entirely surprised if the other had ended up on this “blacklist” through his own machinations. While the other was blunt, and had a temper, he had still been raised a statesman, politically aware, and he doubted anyone, female or otherwise, would have the power to make Jiang Cheng say, or do anything, that would put him under their scorn, without him meaning to. It just didn’t make any sense.

A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. He would almost want to be a fly on the wall, to see how the gruff Jiang Cheng play-bumbled his way into a woman’s bad graces over the course of an afternoon, or evening.

His paused, and licked his lips. Much like he had, accidentally? In upsetting Jiang Wanyin?

He lost his smile, and moved to shrug into an outer robe. He would just pay Jiang Wanyin a visit. He would likely find the other was actually busy with sect business, and be able to return to the Hanshi, his conscience clear.

Jiang Wanyin didn’t owe him anything, but he did value the sort of companionship they had fallen into over the past evenings.

He of course realised the flaw in his plan as soon as he left the sheltered private clan areas around the Hanshi; he’d had no input into the planning for this event, and he had absolutely no idea where Jiang Wanyin might be located.

Except, it seemed, luck was on his side, as he saw a pair approaching in what were obviously Yunmeng Jiang colours.

The pair noticed him almost at the same time as he noticed them, and they paused, covering their shock up quickly.

He vaguely recognised the pair, always at Jiang Wanyin’s shoulder during other night hunts and conferences.

“Yang-gongzi, and Yang-guniang.” He dug their names out of his memory, Jiang Wanyin wasn’t the only one who’d been groomed to have all these little tricks at his disposal, Lan Xichen had received just as rigorous an education in politics and people pleasing.

“Lan-zongzhu.” The twins greeted him in perfect unison.

“What a fortuitous meeting, I wonder if you can direct me to Jiang-zongzhu’s accommodations? I wasn’t party to the arrangements this time, for obvious reasons.”

They both paused, their respect for another sect’s leader, and their host one at that, fighting against their well known preciousness over their own sect leader.

“We have an appointment.” He smiled. It was only bending the truth slightly, he had come to think of their evening meetings as a set thing, even if Jiang Wanyin hadn’t. And it worked in breaking the pair’s reluctance.

“Jiang-zongzhu was assigned the house next to the magnolia tree, Lan-zongzhu.” Yang Hai gestured in the direction, “please allow us to accompany you,” and Lan Xichen lowered his head in thanks and acknowledgement of their joint bows.

He set off, trailed by the Yang twins, and soon arrived at the residence Jiang Wanyin was currently in possession of.

He paused at the foot of the stairs, at the sound of a sword tearing through the air and burying in something wooden, from inside the house.

He drew Shuoyue automatically, and heard the swords of Yang Mei and Yang Hai slide out of their scabbards behind him, along with the crackle of Meishan Yu spiritual whips.

“Jiang Wanyin?” he called out, half warning that he was outside and intended to enter, half hoping the other would just call out to acknowledge them, and provide a perfectly reasonable explanation for why there was a sudden breaking of something like pottery. And then something flew through the window and smashed into a hundred pieces in the courtyard. It had been a small table.

He could wait no longer.

“Jiang Wanyin!” He dashed up the stairs, and into the residence, the Yangs barely a footstep behind him.

He paused just inside the completely destroyed interior, and sucked a breath in.

Jiang Wanyin stood in the middle of his rooms, he was surrounded by the debris of what had been a table and tea set.

There might have been some confusion over what had happened, except Jiang Wanyin had Sandu in his hand, and Zidian was active.

Blood had begun to leak from his nose, and the corner of his mouth, probably only the start.

He spun to face the door at the sound of the new arrivals, and, not even pausing to identify who the intruders were, swung Zidian.

Lan Xichen had no time to hope he wasn’t too rusty, no time to think. He countered Zidian with the flash of a sword glare, and summoned Liebing.

Except he hesitated at the thought of playing Song of Cleansing, after recognising the qi deviation for what it was. It was a fatal pause. Or it would have been, if Yang Hai’s sword hadn’t flashed over his shoulder to catch and deflect Sandu.

It shocked him out of his indecision, “Use your whips to hold him.” Liebing was returned to the ether, and he raised Shuoyue again defensively.

Although Jiang Cheng was stronger due to the qi running rampant through his channels, he had no control, and stood no chance against three highly trained cultivators, and was soon trapped in the coils of identical navy whips.

As he struggled the first trails of blood collected in the corners of his eyes, and began to roll down his cheeks like tears.

Lan Xichen swallowed. He hadn’t been there, of course, when Nie Mingjue had qi deviated, but it was still a harsh reminder of what had happened to him. He was determined he wouldn’t lose another friend to this.

Decisively, Lan Xichen stepped forward, placed a palm against the struggling Jiang Wanyin’s chest, over his middle dantian, and began to feed qi into the other, quelling and reversing the surging tides causing the other to deviate.

It was no easy thing to achieve, either, the tides were fierce.

Jiang Wanyin eventually lost consciousness, and Yang Hai caught him as he fell. The Yangs’ whips were both dismissed, and between the three of them, then managed to carry the unconscious sect leader to the bed, where he was placed comfortably on top of the blankets.

“I’ll summon a physician.” He left them briefly, to waylay the first Lan disciple he came across, and send the boy to collect Xiao Qingyue, despite the fact he nearly tied his own tongue in a knot at having Lan Xichen, last known to be in seclusion, suddenly appear in front of him like this.

********************************************************************

His head pounded when he woke up. Jiang Cheng raised a hand and pressed his palm to his forehead. He didn’t remember how much he had drunk last night; it didn’t usually affect him enough to give him a hangover, but why else would his head hurt like this?

He pushed himself upright in the bed, and concentrated on trying to stop his head spinning, then he had to work out why he couldn’t really remember the previous evening.

He glanced up, and gaped at the small coven surrounding his bed. Yang Hai and Yang Mei were at the forefront.

“What in all the gods names are you doing hovering over me like that?” his hands automatically went to his chest, to check he was wearing his inner robe and his chest was covered from prying eyes. It was, so that was a worry dealt with. “Is this some kind hazing ritual? Was I meant to wake up naked in the middle of the woods?” As usual, sarcasm was his default setting when he didn’t feel like he had control of the situation.

There was a soft chuckle, which Jiang Cheng couldn’t process at the moment, because his eyes landed on Lei Shirong, stood against the wall with his arms folded, talking with a serious looking woman in Lan sect robes. She didn’t have the cloud motif stitched into her headband, so she wasn’t a blood Lan.

He realised Jiang Cheng was awake, and staring at him, and they both turned to face him.

“How much do you remember, Jiang-zongzhu?” Lei Shirong asked, and he shook his head. Obviously the headache wasn’t caused by a simple overindulgence in alcohol then.

Which meant it had finally happened.

So why wasn’t he dead already?

“Well, considering you were almost certainly back in Lotus Pier at the last point I can remember, I assume it’s been at least a few days.”

Did that mean those present now knew the truth? That he was a walking corpse, just waiting for the end?

The thing that had been tickling at the back of his mind for a few minutes now solidified, and he turned to the owner of the soft chuckle he had heard earlier.

“You’re out of seclusion.” it was a statement, not a question, it was obvious that he was, after all.

“I am. I came to check up on a friend. Just in time, it seems.”

Yang Hai dropped a bow to Jiang Cheng, then Lan Xichen.

“Lan-zongzhu saved your life, Jiang-zongzhu. We’re eternally grateful, Lan-zongzhu.”

Lei Shirong stepped towards the bed then, followed closely by his Lan equivalent, and picked Jiang Cheng’s wrist up, testing his qi flow and meridians.

“Unfortunately, Jiang-zongzhu, I believe it’s time for you to come clean. We can’t ignore it any longer.” Lei Shirong said, as he stepped back, and the Lan sect healer enacted the same examination. He was about to snatch his wrist out of her hands, when he looked up and met her gaze. He settled like a quelled puppy, and she nodded once in congratulation for his sensibility.

He turned back to Lei Shirong. “Even if I did “come clean”, who here would be able to do anything about it, Lei-dafu?” he asked mockingly, then glanced around the others. He was about to comment that he owed none of those gathered here a damn thing in terms of explanation, but he realised he probably did, and the words died. Yang Hai and Yang Mei definitely needed to know, seeing as they were likely due to inherit a sect very shortly. Perhaps even Lan Xichen deserved the truth, having been concerned enough to check up on him, and then rescue him. And he had referred to himself as a friend.

That caused Jiang Cheng an odd kind of feeling.

But he ignored it for now.

“Where is Wei Wuxian?” he asked instead, looking specifically at Lan Xichen.

The other answered immediately, “Wangji and Wei Wuxian left the Cloud Recesses yesterday morning on a night hunt. They weren’t aware you hadn’t already departed for Lotus Pier, we thought you would prefer Wei Wuxian didn’t know.”

He relaxed a little. The last person in the world he wanted to know was Wei Wuxian. And knowing he was out of the way was soothing.

A low sigh of relief left him, before he began, matter-of-factly, “Very shortly after the razing of Lotus Pier, Wei Wuxian and I were hiding in Yiling, on the way to Meishan to seek safety with my mother’s people. In the streets, Wen soldiers were searching for us, and Wei Wuxian had gone out to bring food back. I created a diversion, and was taken back to Lotus Pier.” He forced himself not to lay a hand over the scarring on his upper chest, like he wanted to, and to keep his voice neutral. “Wei Wuxian and Wen Ning rescued me later, but it was too late to save my core. Wen Zhuliu was more than worth his title.”

He saw Lan Xichen wince. “The title wasn’t merely grandstanding?”

Jiang Cheng’s laugh was half-hysterical, but he controlled himself again, eventually, “As literal as can be.” Or how else could that worm Wen Chao best the Violet Spider?

“And that was why Wei Wuxian cooked up his insane plan to have Wen Qing transplant his golden core into me. He lied, and told me he had heard that his mother’s Shifu, Baoshan Sanren, could give me a new core. And I, stupid, naive little boy, believed my shixiong, because if it wasn’t true, what did I have left? I didn’t know the truth until after the second siege of the Burial Mounds, but in hindsight, I do wonder how I could have been so blind as to not realise, even once, in all that time.”

Most of those gathered were hearing this information for the first time, only Lan Xichen, who had been at the Guanyin Temple, knew some of it, and Lei Shirong, who he had told the bare minimum to, as his physician.

“Ironically, ever since the operation, the core has been fighting against me. What you thought of as qi deviations, like when you carried me from the battlefield during the Sunshot Campaign, were instances where Wei Wuxian’s core got away from my control. They usually happened after extended periods of calling upon my spiritual energy, but occasionally they happened without anything apparent being the cause. Until recently I was also been able to redirect and quell the qi with a little concentration and effort, however, they’ve become more frequent, and almost impossible to control. The core is going to kill me, sooner or later.”

“You asked me to keep the incident on the Jianglian front from Wei Wuxian all those years ago, Wanyin, are you seriously telling me Wei Wuxian isn’t aware your body has never really accepted his core?”

Jiang Cheng shook his head. “Telling him his greatest sacrifice was actually a death sentence for me? That would be cruel,” he laughed, because the world probably thought Jiang Wanyin wouldn’t hesitate to be cruel. “And besides, at that time, back on the Jianglian front, I genuinely thought it was this new core that Baoshan Sanren had somehow made, taking time to become used to me, to synchronise with my meridians, channels and dantians. In reality it was never going to, because it was made for Wei Wuxian’s body to use, never mine.”

He settled more comfortably back against the headrest.

There was something almost freeing in finally speaking the truth, as much as it left him exposed and feeling vulnerable.

“Is there really nothing that can be done about it?” Lan Xichen looked at Lei Shirong, who shrugged.

“I’ve been researching for years, Lan-zongzhu. And we never found what happened to Wen Qing’s books after the Sunshot campaign, I did have a hope that after Wei Wuxian found the Jin’s secret treasure room at Jinlin Tai, they may be discovered among the things Jin Guangyao kept there, but they weren’t.”

“Do we have nothing in the Lan Library, Xiao-dafu?” Lan Xichen asked his own sect’s healer, who also shook her head.

“Not even in the forbidden library, Lan-zongzhu, Wen Qing was the theoriser, and the only doctor in the world to perform a Golden Core transplant. The idea is ludicrous on it’s own, without being put into practice. I do wish I could have discussed it with her.”

Lan Xichen rose to his feet, and strode over to stand at the window, looking out into the silent courtyard.

Jiang Cheng threw the covers back, and rose, “Perhaps you could excuse us now, I have some important sect business to take care of.” He turned to Lei Shirong. “I don’t suppose you thought to bring my family registry along with you, did you?”

“It wasn’t foremost in my mind, no.” Lei Shirong replied dryly.

Jiang Cheng frowned at him, and then turned to Lan Xichen, “Perhaps you could be witness and executor for my wishes, then Xichen.”

The other turned back to look at him. Jiang Cheng had almost forgotten how intense those dark amber eyes could become when the Lan sect leader was being serious, focussed. All the time they had spent together since he’d arrived at Cloud Recesses and barrelled unwittingly into the Hanshi, had been without seeing each other face to face.

“Wanyin-.”

“I apologise for having to ask, Xichen, but unlike the Lans, I have no clear blood successor, and have to ensure Yunmeng Jiang will be well cared for after I’m dead. If I make it back to Lotus Pier, I will add Yang Hai and Yang Mei to the registry, it’s my wish my head disciple succeeds me as sect leader upon my death.”

Lan Xichen continued to regard him, “As you wish, Wanyin, I will bear witness to that wish.”

There was something further he wanted to say, but he didn’t know if he could, Jiang Cheng realised, at the look in those eyes.

He waited, never one to push. He had the agreement he wanted, anyway.

“I know of someone who may be able to help. But I don’t know if they would be willing. I’ll dispatch a messenger.”

Jiang Cheng frowned, who could possible help him now? The only person in the world who might have been able to remove the core again had been turned to ashes long ago by the Jins.

Lan Xichen refused to be drawn further on the matter, however, merely begged Jiang Cheng to stay in the Cloud Recesses a little longer.

For Jin Ling’s sake, he agreed. While he may be perfectly ready, willing, and able, to die with equanimity, and at peace with his life, for Jin Ling’s sake he wouldn’t give up. Lan Xichen also promised him that if “things” got much more out of hand before help arrived, he would personally ensure Jiang Cheng was taken back to Lotus Pier to die amongst his ancestors.

********************************************************************

It was nearly a week later before the one who Lan Xichen had sent a missive to, arrived at Lotus Pier.

In that time there had been a few more incidents, but, with Lan Xichen’s help, they had been kept relatively minor.

It had been trying on Jiang Cheng’s patience, however, that the other had barely left him alone in that time. But he couldn’t complain, as it was to ensure his safety. And at least Lan Xichen wasn’t terrible company. It was just that Jiang Cheng wasn’t used to relying on others, and it was odd to feel the indebtedness to someone else for it.

He frequently fell to wondering, in those days spent waiting, who it was that Lan Xichen thought might be able to help him. And what that help might look like. He was a pragmatic man, and he knew the likeliest form that salvation could take was the complete removal of the golden core. Whatever happened, his life was going to change drastically. He could look on the possibility with equanimity now, something he hadn’t been able to do as a younger man.

He was in a reasonably secure position politically in the current climate, not a refugee running for his life, desperate to avenge the deaths of his parents and sect brothers and sisters, his sect was almost certainly powerful enough to withstand the loss of his personal cultivational power, especially if he maintained good relationships with the other large sects. One of which he was tied to through familial bonds, the other through a childhood friend he was still on reasonable terms with, and the third; well, even though his relationship with Lan Wangji was a fraught one, he thought he and Lan Xichen understood each other quite well now.

The morning was spent in such musings, and sect correspondence. He had already sent Yang Hai back to Lotus Pier, despite his protests. Yang Mei had chosen to remain, despite the assurances there was nothing she would be needed for. Some time in the afternoon a Lan disciple arrived to inform Lan Xichen their guest had arrived, and Lan Xichen rose, Jiang Cheng close on his heels.

“I cannot promise anything, Wanyin.” Lan Xichen paused at the doorway, and turned, to place a holding hand on Jiang Cheng’s arm.

“I’m aware, Xichen. Whatever happens, happens.” He tilted his head a little, gazing into the dark amber depths of Lan Xichen’s, “I’m grateful for your concern, and the fact you’ve done as much as you’re able. I don’t fear my own death at this stage of my life, but I would be incredibly sorry to leave Jin Ling after all he has already lost.”

“I wish you wouldn’t talk so cavalierly about your life, Wanyin.” There was a hint of censure in his voice, but Jiang Cheng shook his head.

“With my relationship with this core of Wei Wuxian’s, I’ve had many years to contemplate my own mortality, that’s all. I did originally think it was just going to take some getting used to, but its been a long time now, since I began to understand it only gave me a limited lifespan. It’s one hell of a way to focus on what matters, Xichen, that I can assure you.”

“And you can honestly say to me you don’t feel like you’ve left anything undone, no regrets, nothing you wished you’d achieved, if this was the end?”

He didn’t hide the flicker in his gaze fast enough, he knew that, and damn Lan Xichen for being able to understand him so well.

“Nothing I can control,” he said instead.

Lan Xichen’s perfect eyebrow raised a little, but he turned to move out of the door, Jiang Cheng, again, following.

They made their way through the Cloud Recesses, and Jiang Cheng wasn’t too proud to admit to himself he was actually nervous over the outcome. He genuinely couldn’t hazard a guess over who the person who Lan Xichen had sent a request to was, but they were about to find out.

They entered the Yashi. There were two visitors, one he recognised immediately, and felt a flare of…defensiveness…anger…but it was quickly overtaken by shock.

The pair rose to their feet, and the tall, slim figure of a woman in dark robes turned to face them.

The Ghost General Wen Ning had been enough of a surprise, to be faced by another ghost, was a bigger shock still.

“Lan-zongzhu, Jiang-zongzhu.” Wen Qing greeting them both with a slight bow, despite the distaste on her face. Lan Xichen returned her greeting, and Jiang Cheng must have do so too, although he didn’t recall.

He didn’t miss how carefully watchful Wen Ning was as his sister interacted with the pair.

“I hope your journey wasn’t too taxing, Zhao-guniang.” Lan Xichen said pleasantly, and she made some non-committal response.

“I won’t waste your time, Lan-zongzhu. I came because of the debt I owe you, and because I don’t like the thought of my work being so shoddy it killed someone. There is no love lost between us, but I will assist you, Jiang-zongzhu, if you give me your word I will be left alone afterwards. Lan-zongzhu obviously trusts you enough to reveal what his clan did for me to you, but I would like your personal guarantee on the matter.”

He pressed his lips together, but nodded. His need for vengeance had never stretched to the pair here, but he had never felt any personal responsibility for their fate either; he had just detested the sight of them, it being a grating reminder of everything he had suffered and what he had lost. If they existed in the world still, he didn’t care, as long as he didn’t have to interact with them, see them, be reminded by them. His vengeance on their clan was long since spent, the feeling dead and buried with the deaths of Wen Chao, and, ultimately, Wen Ruohan.

“You came because you’re a healer, Zhao-guniang. You owe me nothing, after all.” Lan Xichen was speaking to Wen...Zhao Qing.

She gave him a sharp, searching look. But it wasn’t mere politeness from Lan Xichen, he was too good, too kind, and a little naive. His actions were never about what he could personally gain from them, his kindness was selfless, genuine, the kind of paragon someone like Jiang Cheng could never hope to emulate in this life.

And, as usual, it confused people.

Lan Xichen understood her implicitly though, in the way that she was a healer first and foremost, and it was very obvious she wanted nothing more than to get to work.

Jiang Cheng had no wish to prolong their contact. And he wasn't even entirely sure he wished to put himself in Wen...Zhao Qing’s debt. He didn’t consider himself in that debt already for what had happened before, between the others, between Wei Wuxian, and Wen Ning, and Wen Qing, as she had been then, they had stolen his right to make an informed decision and choose for himself, to turn down his shixiong’s core, to decide what was put inside of him. That negated any gratitude he should feel, and always had, from the moment he had discovered what had truly happened.

The next few hours were spent in examinations, consultations, and discussions.

After those she spent some time in consideration, and consulting the books she had brought with her, and with Lei Shirong and Xiao Qingyue, who seemed to hang on her every word. In the end, the only treatment option she could offer him was, as he expected, the full removal of the core.

And he had already had quite a long time to consider that. He had always known it was likely the only way to save his life. Basically, he was reconciled to it. Considering it was that, or death, for Jin Ling’s sake there really wasn’t a choice.

He agreed instantly, which seemed to throw those present.

But he would hear no arguments, he had long ago prepared himself for this. In reality, Wei Wuxian had loaned him this core, to enable him to enact his revenge, and resurrect his sect. He had achieved both. He didn’t need anything more, except to be there for his nephew as he grew to full manhood.

“What will happen with the core? Will you be able to return it to Wei Wuxian?” he asked. Ideally, he would avoid Wei Wuxian ever knowing, or being involved, but practically speaking, there was no point in it core going to waste.

He already felt incredibly guilty that Wei Wuxian had sacrificed so much for him, but Jiang Cheng had virtually thrown that away, by being unable to assimilate the core his shixiong had given up for him, wanted or not. If it could be returned, then it would still be useful, still serve a purpose, and salve his conscience. It wouldn’t make what Wei Wuxian had suffered better, wouldn’t remove that, but nothing could turn back time, for any of them.

“I think I will be able to, if you’re willing to be awake when the core is extracted, and if the core survives the process.” Zhao Qing informed him matter-of-factly.

“Whatever is needed.” He agreed without thought.

“You don’t know what being awake entails-,”

“I don’t need to, I’ll have Xichen send a messenger to find them immediately. We don’t have very long.” He left the infirmary, where Xiao Qingyue had invited Zhao Qing to set up her surgery, and delivered his request to the Lan sect leader.

Lan Xichen complied, and dispatched a butterfly messenger, then invited Jiang Cheng to sit and talk for a while, over tea. He was aware Lan Xichen was eager to know the outcomes of his examinations, and Zhao Qing’s findings.

He seemed genuinely disappointed for Jiang Cheng, when he informed him that he had agreed to the removal procedure.

Jiang Cheng told him he was genuinely accepting of the outcome, but, uncomfortable with Lan Xichen’s sadness, he changed the subject.

“It seems I should apologise to you, for dragging you out of your seclusion before you were ready.”

Lan Xichen accepted the change of subject, but not the apology.

“Not necessary, Wanyin, I had been considering it time to end my seclusion, you merely took away the agonising and overthinking about when it should be.”

He laughed at the cheeky smile Lan Xichen directed at him.

Really, he had enjoyed their clandestine discussions through the Hanshi’s window, but talking to Lan Xichen face-to-face, being able to watch the warm expressions flit across his face, the teasing light in his dark amber eyes, was far superior.

“I’m a treasure, its true,” he said, his tone loaded full of self-deprication.

“You truly are, Wanyin.” Lan Xichen agreed, but he meant it sincerely, and their eyes met, and held, but Jiang Cheng couldn’t bear the surge of emotion it caused, and had to break the contact after a few moments.

It was his nature to read too much into another’s feelings; he always had, he knew his own mind well enough to know he was far too ready to cleave to someone who showed him even the smallest amount of affection. He was well aware, and he hated that about himself, but he couldn’t change it. He could stop himself making a fool of himself over it, however.

He rose and made his excuses as soon as it was polite, and made his way back to his accommodations next to the magnolia tree. There was a fat, full moon hanging in the sky and there was a new crispness in the air that suggested autumn had finally arrived, and winter wouldn’t be too far in the future.

There was now a hope in his heart that he might see that winter.

He was a little distracted, and extremely comfortable in the protection of the Cloud Recesses, which was why he was slow to recognise the danger for what it was.

He had reached his door before he felt it. He turned to identify the threat, reaching for Sandu’s hilt.

There was the sudden sound of a dizi, and he only had seconds to identify the twin red pools of rage in the darkness, before something hit him solidly in the chest, and sent him backwards into the residence. Dark, smoking tendrils wrapped themselves around him, pinning him against the wall, he could summon, but not swing Zidian, nor could he form a sword seal to infuse Sandu with his spiritual energy and defend himself with her.

The dark figure stalked into the residence behind him, shadows swirling around him, the only brightness in his blood red eyes. It had been a long time since Jiang Cheng had seen the Yiling Laozu in all his rage-filled, vengeful glory. Even if he was significantly shorter these days…

“Wei Wuxian, you fucker-,” his air was cut off suddenly, a tendril tightening around his throat. He glared daggers at Wei Wuxian, as it was the only response he could make. Not that it had ever worked on that man.

“Appointment made, dear Shidi. I see now is a good time for you.” Really was there anyone in the world who could get under his skin as quickly and effectively as Wei Wuxian? He was going to kick him in the balls the minute he got free. “So, were you ever going to tell me about the core? Why didn’t you tell me it was failing as far back as the Sunshot campaign, when we could have done something about it? What if Xichen-ge hadn’t accidentally found out, and summoned Zhao Qing? WHAT IF YOU HAD DIED OF A QI DEVIATION WITHOUT ANY OF US KNOWING IN TIME TO STOP IT, JIANG CHENG?”

The tendrils pinning him to the wall vanished, and he dropped back to his feet, coughing and choking at the sudden rush of air returning to his lungs.

He looked up just in time to catch the flash of a fist, but not stop it, as Wei Wuxian punched him in the face.

“You stupid fuck.” Wei Wuxian snapped, smashing Chenqing into his belt, then raising both hands to run them down his face as he calmed a little, rage spent.

Jiang Cheng, painfully aware of his own strength compared to the coreless Wei Wuxian, knew he couldn’t return like for like with physical violence, not unless he wanted to break Wei Wuxian’s jaw. And, as tempting as it was, he didn’t really want it.

Verbally, he could definitely fight fire with fire however.

“Try because you fucking lied to me, for years, Wei Wuxian. I didn’t know it was yours, I just thought I needed to get used to it. If you’d told me, even after it was done, I’d have known it wasn’t going to get any better, it wasn’t going to stop feeling like something painful and invasive inside of me. But you never did, you lied and you lied, and kept me in the dark like a stupid child, so don’t blame me.”

“You didn’t tell anyone…”

“Wrong, Wei Wuxian, I discussed it with my physician, who was the only other person in the world who had a right to know If I wished him to know.”

How could Wei Wuxian argue with that?

Except it was Wei Wuxian, who could argue with his own reflection, because he was just that contrary.

“You’re so fucking petty, Jiang Cheng, age hasn’t improved that about you.”

“And you’re so fucking annoying, Wei Wuxian. You haven’t noticeably improved either.”

They stared at each other for a few moments, before Wei Wuxian turned, and walked to the window, planting his hands on the sill, and pulling in a deep breath.

“I don’t want the core back.”

“Fine, then W-Zhao Qing can throw it away.”

Wei Wuxian spun at his comment, frowning, “Why are you always so bloody minded?” he demanded.

“Bloody minded? Wei Wuxian, as much as I hate throwing your sacrifice back in your face, your core is going to kill me if Zhao Qing doesn’t remove it. I can’t use it anymore, my body is rejecting it. Either you take it back, or you don’t, but I can’t keep it.”

Wei Wuxian’s hips hit the windowsill as he leant back, a sigh left him. “I’d hoped she was just grandstanding because you’d asked her to. It’s really a case of it has to come out then.” It wasn’t a question. Wei Wuxian folded his arms and looked away. “I’ll speak to Zhao Qing tomorrow, we’ll finalise things and arrange the operation for as soon as possible.” He stepped away from the window, then, placing a soothing hand on Chenqing, “You know if the core needs to stay viable you have to be awake during the transfer, don’t you? You know it’s painful? You know you can feel your qi settling and never reawakening in your channels, don’t you?”

“Zhao Qing may have tried to mention something of the sort. It’s a novel idea, but perhaps it’s time to stop treating me like a fragile piece of glass, who’ll break at the slightest pressure, Wei Wuxian. I’ve walked through hell in this life, and survived. Perhaps it’s time to start crediting me with having strength, and a mind, of my own.”

Wei Wuxian’s face was unusually expressionless. “Perhaps it is.”

~ Several Months Later ~

He opened the chest, and gently lifted the scroll out. It was an exquisite rendition of a lotus lake, in full bloom, with a shadowed pier in the distance. It was done in beautiful shades of purple and blue and was truly a gorgeous piece.

He had seen enough of Lan Xichen’s paintings over the years, like the sceneries in Jinlin Tai, that he had painted for Jin Guangyao, to know who the artist was, if he had any doubt. Which he didn’t, because it was the third gift that had arrived this month.

It would go over his bed.

“I really should send a return gift,” he said to himself. Unfortunately, himself currently also included his new shadow, Wei Wuxian, who was laid out on top of his bed, swinging Chenqing through the air and watching the tassel trace patterns.

“He doesn’t want a return gift, stupid. He wants your hand in marriage.” His shadow sat up, and stared at him like he was insane.

Perhaps he was.

But he wasn’t yet insane enough to take Wei Wuxian’s words at face value. How could Lan Xichen, the foremost cultivator of his generation, the most handsome man in the cultivational world, want his hand in marriage? He was nothing. Less than nothing. A nobody holding on to power by default, not a cultivator anymore, nothing special, just an ordinary man living his life, and definitely not worth such a man’s regard.

He sighed, and placed the painting back in the chest. He resolved to have it hung later, and send a thank you note for the very kind gift to the Cloud Recesses.

“Why are you even back here? Hasn’t Yang Hai already removed you from Lotus Pier once? Why won’t you stay away?”

“Actually, three times this week, so far, I don’t understand why I keep getting kicked out and Lan Zhan doesn’t, I’ll get a complex, and start feeling like I’m not wanted here.”

“Please do.” Jiang Cheng snapped, and thought he’d have a word with his head disciple, there was no earthly reason Yang Hai and Yang Mei should keep ignoring the Second Jade and just remove Wei Wuxian. Why should this pair of freeloaders be suffered to stay in Lotus Pier just because his supposed right and left hand were scared of Lan Wangji?

“I don’t like your head disciple much, Jiang Cheng, he’s very...dull.”

“Really? You mean efficient, responsible, and dependable.” He recognised Wei Wuxian’s petty jealousy for what it was, and couldn’t help needling him.

“Yes, like I said, dull, boring. Not the kind of head disciple my shidi needs.”

“Exactly the kind of head disciple I need, Wei Wuxian, and we’re not having this discussion.” He stalked over to the bed and caught Wei Wuxian’s wrist, pulling him into a sitting position. “Why don’t you go home, Wei Wuxian? Lan Wangji must be getting bored here by now.”

“I am home, Jiang Cheng. I’ll need to divide my time up a little, but I’m here for now.”

“I don’t need you here.”

“And yet here I still am. Get used to it. And order more alcohol, your kitchens ran out yesterday for the second time. It’s truly an embarrassment.”

“You’re the only embarrassment around here, Wei Wuxian. Don’t drink so much.”

In the time since the transfer, when Zhao Qing had returned Wei Wuxian’s core to him, Wei Wuxian had hovered over Jiang Cheng like a mother hen over her chicks.

It had grated on his nerves from about the second hour, now, it was just a constant irritation. Actually akin to how it had been in the past, really.

He knew why, he really did, and while he appreciated the thought, it was unnecessary. But convincing Wei Wuxian of that was impossible, Wei Wuxian never changed his mind, he was tenacious and stubborn, and he always thought he was right. They’d always had that in common.

Hopefully, though, Wei Wuxian would leave after the mid-year alliance conference, which was due to start in a few days. It was a short catch-up event, meant to build and improve on the agreements and plans that had come out of the larger meeting at the Cloud Recesses several months ago, and so it would only last a day, with a celebration feast in the evening to close. It would also be the first time Jiang Cheng had taken part in the wider cultivational world since Wei Wuxian’s core had been removed. It was safe to say he was anxious over how the world would react to him now.

Recovery had been slow, at least slower than he had wanted, so he pushed himself relentlessly, but at least the constant discomfort and pain, like having a rock in his guts, had gone. And the ever present fear of losing control was now refined solely to his temper.

There was still tenderness around the second incision wound, just below the first, now-white scar on his navel, that Zhao Qing had made; it was still pink and angry, although it would be even more so if Wei Wuxian didn’t wrestle him down and pin him long enough to feed him qi every now and again, usually when the wound was particularly troubling.

Mentally…he thought he was getting there. He hadn’t lied before, there had been some measure of making peace with everything that might happen, this was a definite step up from death, after all.

But it had still been a huge shock.

The procedure itself had been incredibly taxing. Although he had been warned, it hadn’t been the things they’d told him to expect that affected him. The pain he could deal with, and the sensations of his qi flow, of being able to guide and direct it, vanishing, was traumatic, but it was mostly due to the feelings and long buried memories it brought back to the surface. It had felt like being back under the power of the Wens, tied and helpless and begging for mercy as his core was destroyed.

It had brought the nightmares back with increased frequency, although they had never really gone away entirely.

If he felt a little adrift, a little lost, a little like an imposter again, it was to be expected. He was dealing with it the best he could.

Having Jin Ling at Lotus Pier like a protective, yet bad-tempered little bodyguard was actually a help. Not least because his nephew was trying particularly hard not to rile Jiang Cheng up into a temper too often. It wouldn't last, but it was nice while he had it.

Even having Wei Wuxian back, with all the annoyance and aggravation that man caused just by breathing, was a benefit.

As was Lan Xichen’s kind friendship.

He wandered back to the chest and took the scroll out again. It really was an exquisite piece.

“How do you really feel about Xichen-ge, Jiang Cheng?”

He almost dropped the scroll in shock at the question, so sudden in the silence that had fallen. He had almost forgotten. Forgotten that Wei Wuxian was there. Forgotten how shrewd he was behind that sometimes clownish exterior. And forgotten how well he knew Jiang Cheng.

“How do you really feel about broken legs?” But what was the point in pretending? Wei Wuxian already knew, or he wouldn’t ask. And if he decided to tease Jiang Cheng about it, no force in the world, not least Jiang Cheng’s denials, would stop him. “You already know,” he said instead, “you know me far too well to doubt it. We both know I’m in love with him. Like a whipped dog shown an ounce of kindness, ready to wag my tail and beg for scraps of affection. Isn’t that what I’ve always been like?”

Wei Wuxian sighed, which made Jiang Cheng turn to him in surprise. He had expected to be teased, but the other was exasperated with him instead. He didn’t understand.

“What?” he demanded, but Wei Wuxian shook his head.

“Jiang Cheng, Xichen-ge is courting you. Anyone else in the world would recognise it, but you’re so blind you can’t see it for what it is. Just don’t be an idiot when he asks you.” And there went the teasing.

“How can he be? Why would he? Lan Xichen..he’s everything, Wei Wuxian, and I’m nothing. I’m not even a cultivator now.

“I don’t know how to be amusing, or witty, or cute. I have a foul temper, and I don’t know how to let people in. I can’t even be honest about my feelings.”

Wei Wuxian spread his hands, helplessly, then walked towards the door. He paused on the threshold, and looked back, however, “You took me to task, a while ago, for treating you as if you were weak, as if you weren’t able to make your own, informed decisions. Do you remember that, Jiang Cheng?”

Of course he did. He nodded.

“You are not nothing. You are Jiang Cheng, courtesy name Jiang Wanyin. You are the Sandu Shengshou, a mention of your name is enough to make grown men tremble in their boots. You are Yunmeng Jiang; the bones that this sect, that rose from the ashes like a phoenix, are built up around. You did that, Jiang Cheng, not my core, not Lan Xichen. You.

“So maybe you should remember that strength that you promised me you had. That indomitable spirit that you said had walked through hell and survived. And perhaps you should do Xichen-ge the honour of accepting that, just perhaps, he also knows his own mind.”

It was a long time before Jiang Cheng could respond, and Wei Wuxian had long left the room. And the thought terrified him, but when had Jiang Cheng, courtesy name Jiang Wanyin, the Sandu Shengshou, able to make grown men tremble in their boots, ever allowed himself to be scared into inaction? “Perhaps I should,” he whispered.

********************************************************************

The alliance conference came in the blink of an eye, and the morning passed in a whirlwind of arrivals, and social niceties. There was little time to give anyone, not even Lan Xichen, anything in the way of personal attention, and he had one huge hurdle to overcome before he felt he could actually address what may or may not be between himself and the Lan sect leader.

It was that afternoon, in the hall, where Jiang Cheng had to take the Lotus throne under the eyes of the assembled sect leaders, that loomed large in his mind. Everyone there, who didn’t live under a rock, that was, would likely know the truth. He was spiritually weakened now, coreless. But he had learned at the side of an expert, how to cast the facade of strength, of being an equal to these vultures. Wei Wuxian had swaggered amongst them for years, convincing them he was the most powerful being on the planet, and his ‘fuck you’ attitude had been an integral part of that, (and the demonic cultivation, which actually had made him one of the most powerful beings on the planet, but he chose to ignore that fact). If there was one thing Jiang Cheng had gained over the years, as he had grown up, as his sect had turned into the powerhouse it was today, it was a ‘fuck you’ attitude to rival his shixiongs’.

He stood outside the doors for a few seconds, Yang Hai and Yang Mei, the Sandu Shengshou’s faultlessly loyal Vipers, stood at his back, and at his shoulder stood the Yiling Patriarch, unusually serious, and well-behaved, but with the new look those that knew him well were just growing used to again, that being a Wei Wuxian who carried Suibian, although now her scabbard had been altered to add hooks to hold Chenqing too.

He had told Wei Wuxian his presence wasn’t necessary, with Yang Hai and Yang Mei there. Which was actually a sure-fire way of ensuring he would be there, because he was just that contrary.

“I’m the Chief Cultivator’s husband, I go where I will.” Wei Wuxian had argued, and Jiang Cheng hadn’t actually felt like pointing out that the Chief Cultivator’s husband wasn’t a political position, and even if it had been, that position wouldn’t have given him the right to march in there at the shoulder of the Yunmeng Jiang sect leader.

Because, he actually drew strength from knowing Wei Wuxian was there, and, curling the hand held behind his back into a tight fist, setting his face into it’s usual resting frown, fingers tightening around a sword he couldn’t use, until the knuckles showed white, he stepped forward.

It was quite a sight, no doubt, as they swept down the central aisle, and to the throne, and as he settled, flicking his sleeves out, and resting Sandu against the arm, he threw a look around the room.

There were speculative looks, neutral looks, nothing overtly confrontational. At least not yet. He tried to avoid the one gaze in the room that he wanted to to see, but it was the one he wanted to assess the most, and it was a losing battle. His eyes searched out Lan Xichen’s gently smiling countenance, and he felt something warm and nourishing grow in his chest.

It felt like the moment lasted for a long time, but it was likely mere seconds, before their gazes broke, and business, very much like during any other meeting, began.

It almost went flawlessly.

But, as Jiang Cheng spoke up in the midst of a dispute, someone decided to test the waters.

He would have laid money on Sect Leader Yao being the one to do it, too. He had dared to put Jin Ling down after the Guanyin Temple, because he thought the Jin Sect too weak to retaliate for a slight against one of it’s juniors.

For a man who had a strong moral compass, who claimed to be on the side of justice, he had something of a bully about him.

Still, the statesman in Jiang Cheng allowed his comment to pass, knowing overreaction to a perceived slight would come across as grandstanding from a position of weakness, although he heard Yang Mei let out a small breath of irritation.

Sect Leader Yao decided to push it further, however, and dared to ask why Jiang Cheng thought he was qualified, now, to try to railroad smaller sects.

Despite the fact he had been mediating, and had made no such move, it gave Jiang Cheng the opportunity he needed. He had hoped to get through this conference without a show of power, to give himself more time. But now, or in six months, or a year, it had always been something that would have to happen sooner or later.

He rose, and strode into the centre of the room.

A gesture, and Zidian crackled to life in his hand, her coils falling to rest around his feet like a purple snake, still and threatening, just as deadly in her readiness to strike.

“Yao-zongzhu. I know you think now might be the time to test me. But don’t ever make the mistake of assuming I’m weak, or defenceless. Stronger men, cleverer men, than you have tried to destroy me in the past, and failed. They’re dead. I’m still here, like a phoenix, rising again and again from the ashes of my enemies. I was thirteen when I formed my first core, our generation was quite precocious like that, under the threat of Wen tyranny it was cultivate and become stronger or die. How long do you think it will take me to form a second? With the foundation of thirty years training? Two more years? Three? I’m a stubborn man, too obstinate to know when I’m beaten, you see.” He sucked a breath in through his nose. “Now, may we continue, there is an excellent feast awaiting us after we finish here?”

As expected, Yao backed down, full of bluster and claims Jiang Cheng had misunderstood. He ignored him, and allowed Zidian to return to her resting state.

He had so much iron in his spine at the moment he couldn’t relax, as he sat down. He thought if he did, he’d sag, and reveal his exhaustion, his hands had retreated into the deep sleeves of his formal robes, to hide their shaking. The only part of his body that didn’t show his drained state was his face, which he kept carefully set in it’s frown. He had, of course, been too verbose, and as a consequence had had to use too much spiritual energy to keep Zidian active while he spoke, as a visual demonstration of his power, a reminder of who the Sandu Shengshou was.

He didn’t quite have as much foundation as he might have suggested, yet. But he was working hard towards it; he really was too stubborn to know when he was beaten.

He projected that facade for the rest of the meeting, and made it out of the hall in one piece. He even made it as far as an antechamber, where he dismissed Yang Hai and Yang Mei, and a hovering Wei Wuxian, ordering them to begin the feast, assuring them he would be there shortly, he just needed to meditate for a while, to rest for a few minutes and recover his reserves.

They knew he’d overtaxed himself as well as he did, and he was surprised this wasn’t one of the times he had to fight Wei Wuxian off, from his invasive sharing of qi, but the other went docilely enough, as if knowing Jiang Cheng didn’t have the spare energy left to argue.

He closed the door behind them, and slid down it.

The silent, wrenching sobs, a tangled mixture of exhaustion, relief that he had managed to pull off the biggest act of his life, and pent up emotions over everything that had happened over the past few months, grief, hopelessness, frustration, and anger all mixed together, wracked his frame.

Then, exhausted, he wiped at his eyes, let his head drift back against the door, and cleared his mind enough to meditate.

He couldn’t deny he felt lighter, the biggest obstacle had been overcome, now the rest was just hard work, which he had never shied from.

Well, there was one other thing, that caused his stomach to explode in a sudden fluttering of butterflies. He had promised himself, though, that after the alliance discussion, he would devote himself to the second issue.

A little while later the click of a jar being placed on the floor by his side drove his eyes open.

He almost wished he hadn’t at the dazzling sight of the First Jade of Lan, all pure white robes, and beatific smile, sat cross-legged on the floor in front of him.

The click had been a jar of alcohol.

He fought the urge to lift his hand to protect his eyes from the brightness.

He was about to ask how the other had entered the antechamber, considering he was still rested against the door, but he realised there was a window.

He hadn’t needed a door himself to crash into Lan Xichen’s carefully cultivated seclusion, and it seemed that the other had only taken a page out of Jiang Cheng’s book of impressive entrances.

He failed to hide the chuckle, which made Lan Xichen smile even wider.

Was it rude to tell a man to stop smiling because he was more blinding than the sun?

Probably.

“Xichen.”

“Wanyin.”

They were silent for a while after the greeting.

Then Lan Xichen broke it, “You were magnificent in there, Wanyin. Truly stunning.” Then, no doubt knowing how badly Jiang Cheng was equipped to deal with compliments, he moved on. “Dare I hope the Lan meditation techniques are helping in qi refining?”

He had felt the beginnings of a flush at Lan Xichen’s praise, but could do nothing but pretend it wasn’t happening. How should he respond to someone telling him that he were magnificent?

He really didn’t know. A simple thank you seemed...either like he didn’t care, or received such compliments at least once every Thursday, whereas the truth was no one had ever described Jiang Cheng as magnificent before.

Perhaps Lan Xichen’s seclusion had addled his mind?

But that wasn’t fair was it?

And perhaps you should do Xichen-ge the honour of accepting that, just perhaps, he also knows his own mind.

Wei Wuxian’s words had profoundly affected him. How could he want that for himself if he didn’t offer others the same respect?

“I have never felt magnificent in my life, Xichen, but I thank you for the compliment. The Lan meditation techniques are very useful, thank you again. I’m not always the best suited to them, I’m not always able to find the level of focus they require, but when I can, they’re incredible.”

A gentle smile was his answer, and another pause.

Jiang Cheng thought he knew...hoped he knew...what came next. And Wei Wuxian was right, Jiang Cheng wasn’t weak, he wasn’t a scared child, he was strong, he was driven, he had known what he had to do at every stage in his life so far, because it was what was expected, what was needed.

This time it had to be about what he wanted. He deserved that.

In one single leap, although admittedly, it was a slightly wobbly-legged one, he had closed the distance, and overbalanced the first Jade of Lan.

“Lan Xichen, I love you.” He said, ignoring the fact his face still burned, his embarrassment stronger than a thousand suns, and lowered his head to capture the soft-looking lips of the most handsome man in the cultivational world. He was met half way, and Lan Xichen’s arms found their way around his neck. It was regrettably short, but he poured his whole heart into it, and it was beautiful, as was Lan Xichen, who’s ears were just as pink as Jiang Cheng’s cheeks when they pulled apart, who’s well-kissed lips glistened in the evening light seeping in through the window, who looked at him with such love in his amber gaze.

“I love you, my Wanyin, you gave so much of yourself to me, so selflessly, when I had nothing, and you thought you were at the end, and must have had a million more important concerns that one lonely man stuck in the past, how could I fail to fall for you?”

His embarrassment intensified. How was it even possible at this point?

But love confessions required certain amounts of reciprocation, he wasn’t such a novice he didn’t know that.

“I only gave you what you deserved, what you’d give to anyone in return. Xichen, you’re kindness incarnate, and this cruel, vicious world might have taken advantage of that, but it never killed it in you, and that truly is the most amazing thing of all, a testament to who you are. You deserve to be treated like the beautiful soul you are.”

“And you like the treasure you are. No matter how much the world took from you, you still had more to give.” Xichen reached up to trace his cheekbone gently, “You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met, Wanyin, truly indomitable. Marry me?”

“Is tomorrow soon enough?”

[angel-tries-to-write]

Mother’s Love

Fandom: Assassin’s Creed Rating: Mature Pairing: Jacob Frye x fem!reader Word count: 1864 Genre: angst, hurt/comfort

You’re Jacob’s wife, you both trained Jack and you both feel guilty and responsible for what he became. You have to deal with him and the trauma he caused you.

You didn’t know how much time had passed since your kidnapping, but you were almost convinced that the cold basement of Lambeth Asylum was going to be your grave. That you’d never see Jacob and your children again. That Jack would kill you to punish his former mentor. You were sure of it when the Ripper entered the cell he kept you locked in. You slowly stood up on shaking legs. If you were going to die, you wanted to die with dignity.

“Jack” you called softly, watching the man come closer. “You don’t have to do this.”

“Shut up!” he yelled at you, still getting closer.

“Would you really do that? Would you kill someone who treated you like a son? Who you treated like a mother?” his order scared you, but you kept talking. You came up with a plan, risky and crazy one, but you didn’t have much choice. You just needed to distract him.

“My mother is dead and it’s Jacob’s fault! And you never cared about me. You’ve seen only your perfect babies and their perfect daddy” he growled, his words soaking with venom.

“It’s not true, you know it. I was busy, I admit, but it didn’t mean I cared about you less” you tried to keep your voice steady and calm, but in fact you were frightened. Every moment could be your last, every moment he might lose his patience.

“Stop lying!”

“I’m not lying. I love you Jack. I always have and I always will” you said with your last strike of courage.

“No! You’re just trying to trick me!” he protested, shaking his head. Apparently that was kind of distracting him.

“I’m not, Jack, I’m not and you know it. You were to us like a son. To me, you still are. I don’t intend to hurt you, Jack. I love you, despite all these terrible things you’ve done” you felt tears forming in the corners of your eyes. It was killing you to not be able to go and save Jacob. It was a torture to see what Jack had become. You didn’t want to even think of what you had to do, but you had to keep calm and carry on.

“Spare me your lies. You can not love a monster” he barked and you gasped. Was it really what he was thinking? Oh, Jack, you poor little boy. You knew you had to do what you planned, but his statement made it even harder than it already had been.

“Yes I can. That’s what mothers do” you stated firmly. “You are not a monster to me, Jack. And you will never be. I might not have given birth to you, but it doesn’t matter to me” you reached out and quickly took the mask off, exposing his face, twisted in a horrifying grimace. But you showed no fear. You looked deeply into his eyes. The eyes of a madman. You caressed his cheek. “I love you, son” you whispered, pulling him in a tight hug before he could react. “I love you and I forgive you” still hugging him, you gently took a knife he had hidden in his belt. A trick you had taught him a long time ago, when you wanted to protect him. Who could know it would become his end. You sobbed uncontrollably as you thrusted the blade into Jack’s neck.

“You…” he choke, pushing you away. He gasped for air, pressing his hand to the wound.

“I’m sorry, Jack” you watched him through the tears. “I’m so sorry I had to it. But you needed to be stopped. You hurt too many people. You hurt my husband and intended to hurt my other children. I couldn’t let you go free” you observed his body hit the floor in the last moments of his life. You kneeled by his side and caressed his cheek again. You let him see how much pain he caused, you didn’t hide your tears. “I wish I could have done something earlier. To show you how much I’ve always loved you. To prove you Jacob never betrayed you but you betrayed him. To save you.”

“You couldn’t save me” he whispered.

“I wish I could” you said, choking on your tears. Jack’s body got still and inert as the last breath left his chest. “Rest in peace, my child” you leaned down and kissed his forehead, your tears dripped on his face. The terror had ended, you and your family were safe, but your heart was broken. You wished Jack could had understood what did you feel. Or that you could had protected him when he was a little child, that you could had prevent his imprisonment in the Asylum. Maybe that would had saved all those lives Jack had taken.

“Mrs. Frye?” you heard Frederick Abberline calling for you. All you could do was to grab Jack’s mask and pull it quickly on his face. You didn’t want anyone else to see it.

“I’m fine” you said when the door opened. The policeman examined you carefully with his look before he turned around.

“She’s here, Miss Frye!” Abberline exclaimed. Was Evie with him?

“(Y/n)!” that answered your unspoken question, Evie appeared at the door. “Jack…” she noticed the motionless body next to you.

“I tried, Evie. I tried to stop him” you said quietly, feeling new tears on your cheeks.

“I know, I know. But right now we have to make sure no one will find out he was an Assassin. To protect the Brotherhood” she approached you and helped you get up. “Come, Jacob is waiting. He needs you now.”

You nodded, sending one last glance to Jack’s body and let Evie get you out. She led you to another cell where you saw a weak form of your beloved man.

“Jacob!” you rushed to him, impatient to have him in your arms. He looked terrible, defeated and broken, but alive. You kissed him hard to make him sure you were real. “I’m here, baby. It’s over.”

“Miss Frye, mrs. Frye, we should get going” spoke Abberline and you knew he was right. You shouldn’t stay there any longer. “I’ll make sure the secret is safe.”

“Thank you, Inspector” you said.

After a painfully long travel to home, Evie helped you to take care of Jacob and then yourself, before you could finally go to sleep in your own bed in your husband’s arms and spend there a couple of days. Both of you haven’t spoken much, your bodies were healing fast, but your minds were broken forever. Nightmares, panic attacks, even hallucinations made you two decide to not bring kids home for a while. Both of you needed time and you didn’t want your children to experience this. PTSD hit you hard, you had to deal with it first.

One night you woke up calmly, not panting and frightened like you used to. Jacob was still asleep, so you quietly got out of the bed and stepped to the window to look through it. Your naked body shivered in the chilly air of the night. You two decided to sleep naked when you realized how helpful was skin-to-skin contact, how comforting it was and how much it calmed you. That pure intimacy was the best reminder you were safe in your own bedroom, by the love of your life’s side. That you survived. Unlike those who didn’t.

You froze, feeling an arm snaking around your waist and a scruffy chin being rest on your shoulder. The feeling of bare skin prevented you from going into full panic mode or even screaming. You relaxed quickly, realizing it was Jacob seeking for physical contact. He needed this, it was his way to deal with the demons haunting him.

“It’s okay, Frye, there’s nothing to be afraid of” you whispered, calming yourself.

“We’ve been married for years and you still call me by my last name?” he complained.

“I was talking to myself” you explained, caressing his hands. Jacob kissed your shoulder and you felt him smile. A moment of comfortable silence fell between the two of you.

“You think we should talk about it?” the man asked quietly.

“We can try, but I don’t think it would help” you answered skeptically. “Besides, what can we say that would make us feel better? We both feel guilty for teaching Jack everything he knew, for not seeing who he was becoming, for not helping him when there wasn’t too late. We are responsible for all of this” you whispered, leaning against your husband’s chest. “He did terrible things, but I still can’t hate him for it” you whispered, barely even noticing you started to cry.

“You loved him. And so did I. And if only we loved him less, we could have stopped him sooner. I would have stopped him. But I didn’t want to hurt him, you know? I let him win, I let him hurt me, because I couldn’t accept what I had to do until it was too late. I hesitated. You did not. You’re far better than me” Jacob kissed the top of your head. You could hear his voice crack. He buried his face in your hair.

“We both hesitated and we have paid for it” you turned around to face him. “The whole London has paid a high price for our mistakes. The best we can do now is to make sure it will never happen again” you cupped your husband’s cheek, wiping tears off it.

“We will, baby” Jacob kissed your palm and leaned in to capture your lips. “I’m so glad I have you. As much as I hate to see you suffer, I feel better knowing you can understand me and I’m not alone in this mess. All the time Jack kept me captive, I had been thinking about you and our children. I would have ended up insane if I hadn’t.”

“And I had thought about you when I killed Jack. I forgave him everything but one thing: hurting you and trying to hurt our children” you confessed, wiping your own tears.

Jacob looked at you, kissed you hard, then pressed you tightly to his chest. You buried your face in his warm skin, wetting it with your tears and feeling his falling onto your shoulder. You spent a few minutes crying together in a tight embrace. You were broken and defeated, but you survived. Your relationship strengthened even more, you didn’t hide any of your feelings, there was no barrier between you.

After a while you headed back to bed. Jack’s terror did a lot of damage and your wounds were healing slowly, but every moment without the thoughts of the trauma you had, was a big success. One day you would stop having nightmares, flashbacks and panic attacks. One day you would be able to look at Jacob’s missing eye without feeling guilty and thinking about Jack. One day. For now you knew you were going through hell and even though it hurt, it also made you stronger than ever. Because you were together and madly in love. And love conquers all.

[hustlemeanokay]

Fallout 76

Okay... I won’t talk a whole lot about it because it’s not even out yet. So, the hubs signed up for the BETA and he got to play a little the other day... if you don’t want to know anything about the game, this is where this post ends... but if you want my initial thoughts on it and are okay with MAJOR spoilers for what’s out there now? Well... 

It’s boring. It’s like... okay... so, the graphics look... pretty much the same. The same facial structures, the same hairstyles. Nothing note-worthy at all about that. The controls are the same, which is to be expected in a franchised game. But... okay, let’s just make this easier on everyone. 

1. The World

It’s... Fallout 4 with color and leaves. To be blunt, it looks like Fallout 4 with a mod on it, nothing new... like... at all. Okay, so maybe one thing is new. The pip-boy, but technically that’s “old” compared to FO4. 

2. Caps and Loot

I’m hoping this is a BETA thing because wow... just... wow. Probably 80% of the containers/cabinets etc that I saw hubs open were empty. Nothing. There’s like... nothing there... caps are proving to be hard to come by which isn’t that big of a deal because there’s no one to buy anything from. 

3. NPC;s

Don’t exist. There aren’t any. The only “other people” that you deal with are robots and voice recordings. You don’t see anyone else outside enemies. The other people you see, are just that, other people. It’s an MMO, we all knew this, but damn... that’s... all. 

4. No Pause/Safe Place

Because it’s an MMO, you can’t pause the game. This, in itself, is nothing new. But... there’s no where ‘safe’. You have to hope you won’t be attacked when you’re changing your equipment, checking your stats, or agonizing over which Perk card you’re going to use. 

5. Perk Cards

What the actual fuck. Okay, so... the idea is that instead of a perk chart, you get perk cards and these cards can be leveled up (so they say). But... you can only equip a set amount of these cards (I think it’s 8, but don’t quote me). Now, these cards do show their information in a more clear and concise way than the perk chart did, and the cards are nothing to balk at but... you only have so many slots and you have to choose which ones you want to equip. Which... can be challenging when there’s no safe place for you to do that. 

6. C.A.M.P.

Your camp. It’s like a portable workshop... it gives you a little parcel of land that you can build on (provided you’ve found enough materials... took the hubs awhile just to find enough wood to build 4 floors and three walls). Now, you do have one safe storage option. Your stash. (Or, any container you build but don’t quote me there because that’s just what I’ve heard). Your stash is only accessible by you, if you look in someone else’s stash box, you’ll see your stash. So, that’s how that works. You only get one camp... and it costs you 5 caps to move it each time you want to. Oh, and, there were a few new things in the building menus, but a lot of them were locked because hubs wasn’t a high-enough level. But there were also a lot of the same stuff... was.. kind of expecting more new stuff... but whatever, they’ve only had three years. 

7. Content

So far, and this is just BETA so I’m praying they’ll have more content come release day but I doubt it. There’s... no story... there’s... nothing. You wake up in the vault, you leave... you’re supposed to find the Overseer. That’s it, so far. Nothing backing anything up, no clear line of what the goal is... not even a hint. The only thing that’s been pushed a bit is the nuclear launch thing, which we’ve seen in trailers and other information put out by Bethesda. It kind of sounds like the goal is to get those nukes, launch those nukes, and... try to kill everyone? I don’t know. It’s very vague. In previous Fallout games, you started the game with a basic goal. How you got there was up to you but the goal itself was fairly clear once you left the vault. 

8. Events

Like other MMO games (-cough-Destiny-cough-) they are trying to do live events. Now... there’s a petite problem with this idea from the get-go... they’ve already said that there will only be a limited number of people on the same server at any given time. That limited number is 24. Now... the map, the world? It’s pretty damned big. And these live events are designed to have multiple people participating. Hubs tried doing a few, but even with three people in one, it was impossible. There were specific locations that people needed to defend, and all were getting hit at once. The players were quickly overwhelmed and over-run. Hopefully this is something they’ll work on. Unlikely, but they might. On a side note, I saw the final boss for one even was that moth-creature thing... level 50... so have fun all low levels out there! 

9. Destiny

Okay, this may seem like a duh but the game really does feel like a cheap knock-off of Destiny, as far as the MMO goes. They have “emotes” in there, your “team” is usually slotted for three people... the live events... there are just some similarities here. Now, that’s not a bad thing... except... it’s Fallout... not Destiny, not Fortnight, not WoW. This is just my personal pet peeve, but there it is. If you’re going to do things that another, successful, game is doing? At least do them better... or at the very least, on the same level. 

10. Skyrim

It’s very Skyrim-esq. Remember playing Skyrim? You could play for a few hours and be utterly alone, run into no one, nothing but a few animals and maybe a dragon or two out in the wild. Unless you went to a town, you were pretty much only going to run into enemies out there. It was a massive map, a huge world, and you were just... kinda out there... like at night... alone... kind of wasn’t that fun when it was like that. 

11. Weapons/Armor

Okay, so, obviously we haven’t seen the big ticket items. But... I will say this, your weapons break, you have to fix them... your armor? You don’t find it, you make it. In fact, looting seems to just be skimpy all around. A few things that the hubs found weren’t really armor, just clothes. The armor itself? Up to you... and the materials you’ve managed to gather. 

12. The Food/Water thing

So, they’ve leaned on almost a survival type setting here. Your character gets hungry/thirst... everything except prepackaged food/drink will give you some rads, some more than others. If you don’t drink/eat then you’re character will suffer. Also, a lot of items have a disease percentage attached to them. Hubs ate something that had a 7% chance of giving his character a disease and sure enough, bam. Now, this might be a BETA thing though. There are disease cures out there though, he found one. 

13. V.A.T.S.

Ah, vats. The saving grace of so many Fallout players. Now, this is probably a BETA thing but VATS are slow to activate... and because it’s MMO, it doesn’t slow time, just helps you aim. Or, it should. You need perk cards, see... to make it so your dude will actually hit that target. No perk card? Barely any damage done because they’re just firing willy-nilly, no more separate limb/body location selection. 

14. Congrats on Level 5, now die!

At level 5, it becomes open season on your character. At level 5, you can now take damage from other players... and they can kill you... and take your junk. All those precious materials you’ve been collecting, they can get them. When you die, there’s a little bag that appears on the ground with all the junk you’ve been carrying, nothing else as far as I can see... but anyone can just come along and pick that up. It’s their’s now. Now, there is this whole murder thing they are going to do, supposedly, where if you kill another player there’ll be a bounty put out on you and you, in theory, will be hunted down and murdered back? I’m not sure how that’s going to work. But... at level 5, you take damage, from all sources, including team-mates - though the damage is supposed to be reduced from them. That’s... going to result in a lot of accidental kills. 

Final Thoughts:

I’m nervous. I’m worried, for all the fans of the franchise. They’ve already come out and said “this isn’t a Fallout game” (could have fooled me with that name, though). It feels like they completely ignored the things that made Fallout 4 such a success... and instead, embraced the things that people didn’t like about Skyrim. I’m worried that what happened to Mass Effect, will happen to Fallout. People have been waiting for this game, super excited about it, couldn’t wait for it! And... the game they’re going to get is more... Fallout-esq. Not the next Fallout game. Like they wanted to cash in on the MMO thing but didn’t want to actually come up with anything new. Which leads to the next thought and worry... micro-transactions. Playing the game and seeing the lack of content... the skimpy supplies and loot... you can very easily see them adding micro-transactions and DLC’s that should have been a part of the main game. Which is just not a good idea right now, not ever really... when you pay $60 for this, which feels like it is, quite literally, a “base” game. 

But, it’s not all bad... 

There were a few things that I did like about it. The photo/selfy mode is cute, though wholly unoriginal... and they have instruments around the world that you and your friends can play together (like a band). You see your character performing some actions that you didn’t before (laying down)... though, there isn’t any “sleep” to speak of, your character just rests, but that’s because your character never leaves the public space of their MMO world. Even in their own home. 

Now, I don’t know what they’re going to do come release day, it could be totally different (probably won’t be) but it might. It could suddenly drop a whole main quest line because they wanted to keep it all hush-hush from people like me (who will go and post about the BETA). Who’s to really tell... but as it stands... I’m glad we didn’t buy a second copy so the hubs and I can play together because... it just seems... like a huge waste. Such a shame. 

[ayma-nidiot]

In the White Light - Prideshipping fanfic Chapter 24

Also on AO3.

Chapter 24 – Second Chance

“‘Hmm… I think I’ll buy some good cards so Grandpa can have better cards to sell at the shop.’”

“Yes, that is what I said after I won Battle City, Joey.”

“You know, I’m sure Pegasus would have given all of those to you for free. I mean, you did save his soul from the Orichalcos. Plus, he’s almost as loaded as rich boy.”

“Still, it would feel like stealing,” spoke Yugi as he and Joey entered the former’s grandfather’s game shop.

“What a goody two-shoes you are, Yug.”

Before Yugi could present his grandfather with the multitude of new cards, he tripped on his own two feet. Unfortunately, in so doing, he opened a tear in the leather suitcase, causing a single card to fall out.

“Yugi!” Grandpa Mutou came out from behind the counter. “Are you all right?”

“Y-Yeah. I should be asking you that question. At any rate, here are some cards to help your business.”

“Oh, you didn’t have to go through all that trouble, grandson.”

“Wait, you dropped a card, Yug.”

“Then I better- Huh? It’s… Enemy Controller!”

“Ugh. Rich boy had one of those, didn’t he? If you hold onto that card, it’s some bad mojo, if you ask me.”

“…No, I think I’ll add this card to my deck. And I don’t mean my other self’s deck, either. I don’t know why, but this card is going to save my skin one of these days.”

_________

“And this… is that day.” Yugi managed a slight smile when he saw the card he just drew. “I’ll first summon Mystical Elf in attack mode, then I’ll tribute her.”

“For what? You can’t Tribute Summon the same turn you Normal Summon, Yug!”

“Who said, I was trying to Tribute Summon? I tribute Mystical Elf… for this card that you said was going to bring me ‘bad mojo.’ Enemy Controller!”

“Huh… Well, I’ll be damned.”

“Me too, Wheeler.”

“I will use the code left, right, AB! Now your Quintet Magician is mine!”

“But only for one turn. After you destroy my Dark Magician, Quintet Magician will come back to my side of the field again.”

“Oh, I don’t plan to destroy your Dark Magician, pharaoh. Quite the contrary, actually. I use Bakura’s Change of Heart to take control of him too!”

Atem smiled, knowing well that this duel was as good as over.

“Magicians, attack the pharaoh directly!”

“So now that makes three guys who defeated Atem – Rafael, Kaiba, and now Yugi.”

“Tristan, we all know that that one with Kaiba was a crock of bullshit. Surely, even you do.”

“Joey, I think we’ve got something even more pressing on our hands…” Téa pointed to both Atem and Kaiba, who after the duel’s conclusion had both passed out.

“Can’t we get a break from death for a day?” Weevil huffed. “Jeezuz leweezus!”

“Can’t you tell the difference when someone’s dead and when someone’s passed out?” Rex poked Kaiba’s cheek to confirm he was alive.

“When will they wake up, then?” Mokuba fretted.

“Ra only knows,” answered Isis.

_______

Kaiba awakened for the second time that day, and the lack of any ground beneath annoyed him. At least this ethereal realm wasn’t as dreary as the last one. “Great, not another near-death experience. I swear, ancient Egypt is all about giant rocks and near-death experiences.”

“You may be right, but-”

“Gaaah!” Kaiba jumped at the sight of Atem. “Good gods, Atem. Wait, are you dead, too?”

“Neither of you are dead,” replied an even louder female voice from a light just up ahead.

“Who are you?”

Kaiba was certainly surprised to hear Atem speaking to this ball of light as if they were old friends. “My lady Horakhty.”

“‘Horakhty?’ I’ve heard her name before… You’re the Creator of Light, aren’t you?”

Horakhty took on a more concrete form. She had the wings of Obelisk, a helmet of Ra, and the shoulders and chest of Slifer. Her body was all gold, save for pearl-white arms and a long skirt. “That is correct, my child.”

“Then if we aren’t dead, have you come to take us to the afterlife?” Kaiba asked.

“Such would be your fate in any ordinary situation. Atem has used up almost all of his power to sing the Pharaoh’s Incantation during your fight with Zorc. Then there is the duel with the young man named Yugi. However…”

“‘However?’” Though he was a little more used to it by this point, Kaiba still had much to learn about ancient Egypt’s magic and lore.

“The two of you have suffered so much in your past lives. Your love ended tragically before it got a chance to really flourish… Thus, I will grant you my blessing to truly live your life together, if you would so take it.”

“You mean… I don’t have to go back to my own time? I can live with Atem forever?”

“The power… is yours…”

_________

“Ugh… I’m tired of the movie and show references.” Kaiba groaned while still technically asleep. “Captain Planet isn’t an Egyptian god.”

“As an Egyptian, I can totally confirm that.”

It was Atem’s voice that woke Kaiba up in the throne room. Seeing his new friends – as well as the surviving priests, including one he hadn’t seen before – really woke him up. “Who’s this goon with the Millennium Eye? Don’t tell me that Pegasus is a High Priest too?”

“This is… Aknadin, Priest Seto’s father.” Atem spoke with reluctance.

“Wh-What?! And you just let him waltz in here?” Kaiba half-shifted at this news. “Let me at ‘im!”

“Peace, peace,” Atem ordered before turning to Aknadin. “Aknadin, this is the reincarnation of your son, Seto. His name is Kaiba.”

“So, my son lives again.” Aknadin couldn’t look Kaiba in the eye.

“Do you know why I haven’t executed you as readily as I did Anubis?”

“Pray tell.”

“It was because I want to give you a second chance, as the Creator of Light gave me a second chance. I remember well your last words to Seto and I before you joined Anubis… ‘You are a disgrace to the royal family and to the High Priests!’ If you want to redeem yourself, then treat this man with respect. Can you do that?”

“I… I’ll try…”

“You.” Kaiba withdrew his wings and tail as he spoke to Aknadin. “When I was but an inch from death, I saw him. I saw your brother and your son. If it wasn’t for their power, I wouldn’t have been able to defeat Zorc. You know what Seto’s last words to me were? ‘If you see my father, tell him I wish things didn’t have to end up like this.’ Even after all you did to him, your son still had it in him to forgive you. Your brother did too. They were hurt that their only immediate family betrayed them.”

“Is that so?” Aknadin’s voice shook.

“Yes. So you better believe you’ve got a lot to make up for.”

“So do you, rich boy!” Joey interrupted, much to Kaiba’s annoyance. “We’ve been gone for gods know how long, and that German dude is probably wondering where the heck you are.”

“Joey, we’ve time travelled,” Tristan spoke up. “I’m sure that that German dude hasn’t noticed a thing.”

“You’ve got something smart to say for once! By the way, his name is Roland.” Mokuba chuckled before turning back to his brother. “You are going to come back with us, right, Big Bro?”

“…” Kaiba took Atem’s hand into his own.

“Seto?” Mokuba’s happy expression fell, as did that of everyone else there.

“I’m going to stay here in ancient Egypt with Atem.” Kaiba could already feel the tears coming on.

“What?” Mokuba didn’t want to believe it. “You can do that?”

“The Creator of Light Horakhty has granted him permission to do that, yes,” answered Atem.

“Plus, if you were listening to an iota of what we were talking about just know, you’d know that.”

“No!” Mokuba broke into a sobbing fit as he hugged Kaiba. “I don’t want you to go, Big Bro! I’m never going to see you again! And what about KaibaCorp?”

Kaiba knelt down and patted Mokuba’s head. “KaibaCorp has a new, highly capable president. And his name is Mokuba Kaiba.”

“Oh…” Mokuba cried even harder at this promotion and hugged his brother even more tightly. “Thank you, Seto! I’ll be sure to take very good care of our company!”

“I know you want to say your goodbyes, but we need to get going soon,” Atem finally spoke up after letting the brothers bond one last time. “Let us go outside. I will sing the Incantation to enable all of you back to your time.”

Not a single tear was dry on the entire walk outside. Even Joey, who swore straight up and down he hated Kaiba’s guts, couldn’t keep a stiff upper lip.

“Oh come on, Joey.” Kaiba rolled his eyes. “Then again, you are a sniveling puppy.”

“What was that?” Joey scowled. ��Here I am, actually sad that I will never see one of my favourite rivals again, and you have the nerve to call me that?”

“Come on, man.” Tristan patted his friend’s back. “I’ll be sure to keep him on his toes.”

“How, exactly?” Marik eyed Tristan curiously. “You’ve just started to learn how to duel. I, on the other hand, have placed second in Battle City while Joey only placed third!”

“You mean you placed fourth while Joey placed third,” Téa corrected.

“Whatever.” Marik turned his attention to Atem and shook his hand. “Thank you for providing me with a worthy challenge back then, pharaoh. I’ll be sure my gravekeeper family keeps the memory of you two alive for generations to come.”

“Thank you for believing in our friendship for a change,” Téa spoke to Kaiba. “Even though most people tell me they’re tired of my friendship speeches.”

“And to think, I thought you didn’t believe in that ‘friendship bull.’” Yugi laughed.

“You… You better not surrender your title of the King of Games to anyone else, Yugi? You got that?”

“I promise, Kaiba.” Yugi nodded.

While everyone else gathered in a circle in preparation for the ride home, Rex and Weevil stayed behind, still on their knees.

“Hu and Sia…” Atem remembered Rex’s and Weevil’s past incarnations well, as they had raided the palace many times. “I’m sorry, Rex and Weevil. Not just for calling you by the wrong names, but also for causing you much trouble during the-”

“Sniff… Sniff… Pharaooooh!” Weevil cried pathetically as he fished for some cards in a deck box. “Here’s a token of my apology for being such an asshole at Duelist Kingdom, and during the Orichalcos mess, a-and during the KC Grand Tournament, and-”

Rex bopped Weevil on the back of the head. “If you’re gonna list all the times we’ve been assholes to Kaiba and Atem, then we’ll turn into mummies!”

Atem looked at the cards Weevil offered to him. “The five cards of Exodia…”

“And here’s something from me, too!” Rex presented his Red-Eyes Slash Dragon. “A-And take my beanie, too!”

“What’s all this for?” Kaiba eyes Rex peculiarly.

“Since we can’t be at your wedding, I figured we’d give you these sweet wedding gifts!” replied Rex.

Kaiba squatted down to look at Rex with a sincere expression. As Atem returned the “wedding gifts” back to the short duelists, the dragon spoke, “Thank you for the thought, but we’re good. We may not have known each other for very long, but I enjoyed dueling alongside you. You remind me a lot of myself – a fiery duelist who shows his tender side only to a select few. I’m going to miss you a lot, my friend… Rex Raptor.”

“Aaah!” Rex hugged Kaiba so strongly that he knocked the latter onto his bum. “I’ll miss you, too!”

“And I suppose so will I.” Weevil couldn’t help but feel jealous.

Kaiba brought himself and a still-crying Rex back to their feet. “I’m just sad that I can’t attend your guys’ wedding, Weevil.”

“Wh-What?!”

Weevil blushed, and would have had more to say, if Atem hadn’t urged the both of them to join the circle. “Don’t worry, guys. We’ll still be with each other in spirit. Now, then. Etiumaza o etebus o erono… Irawotok ugumust…”

“Then…” Yugi started as the “Dweeb Patrol” floated in the rising water for the last time. “This is goodbye. Pharaoh…”

Yugi’s last sight of Atem before he had been completely submerged was the pharaoh giving him a thumbs up.

[goldenboisimsauce]

The Red Herring: A Sims 3 Survival Challenge

here’s the little personal rules i’m playing by for this little challenge. if anyone wants to give it a spin go ahead. big note: i’m really bad at trying to write a challenge.

Short description:

You’ve been left for dead in the middle of nowhere. Waking up with no memory of who you are, head throbbing and body beat up, you’re lucky enough to have a lighter on you. You try to survive the elements to find out the truth. Can you make it? 

this was made to be a super hardcore sims challenge. no mercy. okay maybe some lowkey mercy.

are you ready to PARTY? HERE WE GO

(super long btw)

Expansions:

Seasons and World Adventures are a must. I play with all the EP’s however but this is the essential duo.  ITF is preferred for the Unstable trait. (I’m not sure where the “Relax Here” terrain interaction comes from, either Island Paradise or Seasons? but that’s handy. )

Mods:

NRaas Tempest, Traveler, Register... maybe just the whole suite. but these are the most important.

World:

Must be empty. Roadless or one main road is preferred (streets would kill the vibe right?) but those are super hard to come by. The worlds I’ve played with are Tres Lagos (desert world) and Timber Ridge (alpine/forest roadless world - you’re gonna need either a decent computer or patience to deal with the lag of snow coming through) . 

Desert Version goal: 

Try not to burn to death.

Alpine Version goal: 

Try not to freeze to death. 

Ultimate Goal: Live long enough to save up 1600 simoleons (I believe that’s the price needed) so you can travel to a new town using the Traveler mod, the one closest to you geographically of course. Think of simoleons as energy and stamina.

before you begin

you will need to place community lots and a residential lot if the world is like Tres Lagos and is completely empty. Entering BuyDebug mode, you can only place 1 spawner per lot, or 1 auto soil. They can only be common plants. The area is very barren and hardly arable. On larger lots you can place more than one spawner (on a 64x64 lot you can add a maximum of 5).

on a community lot, create a small basement (1x1 is fine) and place a computer in there. you can access NRaas here.

NRaas Register settings:

Turn off tourists and paparazzi . You can have animals roaming around if you like. In the desert world you can have a maximum of 6 horses, 0 strays, 0 deers, and any racoons (but they just knock over your figurative trash can). In the alpine world, you can have 4 horses max, 0 cats, maybe 1 dog (think of it as a lone wolf), and any amount racoons too.

NRaas Tempest settings:

Desert world - you can turn off all seasons with the exception of summer i guess. make the days HOT, and I mean HOT. Like at high risk, epidermis on fire hot! Nights gotta be chilly, but bearable.

Alpine world - turn on all seasons. using tempest, set the temperatures as cold all year round, the “summer” being bearably cold, and the winter being the coldest. Winter nights are DEADLY cold, hypothermia on nightly basis. You better make sure your sim can make a shelter before the nights get fatal! 

I play by Celsius (i’m kiwi). I have my desert world settings at 45 C max, 7 C min; alpine settings is 10 C max, -20 C min (i may have went lower).

NOW THE ACTUAL PARTY BEGINS!

Making your Sim:

Basics:

Name can be anything. For my desert run, I hit randomiser and got Ty Herring as a name, thus this challenge was born. For the alpine run, I simply named my sim “(unnamed person)”.

No occults. They have advantages. Unless you want to make a vampire or mermaid suffer in the desert but that’s another story. No werewolves or witches cos they can most definitely help themselves.

Any gender, race, and age. Well, Young Adult to Elder. If you want to do torture a minor then you’re gonna need the NRaas Mover and Integration mod. I haven’t played a child only household so I can’t tell you how that would work out (and this was not intended for a cHILD OKAY)

Appearance:

Clothes. Dirty textures. if you can get CC that looks worn out then awesome. Make all their outfits the similar, all they have is the clothes on their back (and a lighter, remember). Swimwear and Sleepwear would be the same, maybe they needed to tie their shirt around their hips when working out. Maybe you can give their outfit a story behind it, a clue behind your sim’s old style....

If you got CC injury makeup, go all out with it.

Traits:

you can NOT give them anything that would help your sim out! Your sim, most likely a city slicker who’s never seen a leaf in their life, they can’t just automatically wake up all alone and injured and go “Oh my!! I love the outdoors! I love to fish and collect things! This is going to be a lovely hiking trip!”

NO! They’re scared out of their minds! They can’t even remember their own name dude! Traits like Coward, Neurotic, Hates the Outdoors... PERFECT for this situation. I don’t wanna see any traits like Green Thumb (ESPECIALLY), Angler, Athletic, Brave... Loves the Outdoors.. Loves the Heat, Loves the Cold... Gatherer... Those traits are BANNED when creating your Sim intially. You get the jist. For storytelling purposes you can throw in the Unstable trait, where the traits change after a night’s sleep because your sim is trying to figure out who they are... Any traits gained here can be considered growth.

misc.

sign, favs.... randomised. it can be anything.

Playing the game:

Place your sim on a residential lot. The placement isn’t ideal for your sim. They were dumped on the side of a highway maybe, or somewhere far out away from roads or water. With your money you can buy geographically appropriate plants to hide the letter box and trash cans (I believe sims can route through bushes but I’m probably wrong). You are not allowed to sell these bushes for money after this.

Buy your firepit. Because of the nature of spawners, your sim is allowed to roast marshmallows ONCE in their first week.

Call for services and cancel the newspaper delivery.

If you have Island Paradise or Seasons (again idk where the Relax Here interaction comes from) you can nap for energy. If you don’t have that interaction you can buy a bench.

Use the familyfunds cheat or NRaas to remove any money you have left. zero buckerinos

Optional: if you have NRaas StoryProgression, you can click on your sim and use the sim options to make the Bladder motive static. I would imagine your sim will get the sense to go when they need to.

RULES:

1. Your main source of food is fish. You may never sell any fish you get. You can’t make shelter outta fish bones! You cook it using the “Roast Something” interaction on your firepit.

2. Your main building resource is the income made from finding seeds and plants. By selling that you can start working towards essentials. Your sim is not allowed to eat plants harvested, until they have planted it and grew the produce themselves.

3. When it rains, you can not use the firepit. When you can afford to build a shelter over the fire then you can use it while it rains on your homelot.

4. You may never buy an oven or fridge.

5. (using BuyDebug) you should probably buy a tent when you can afford it. You can camp out on any community lot. And it’s weather resistant. In the alpine run you can wait until the snow is deep enough, and make an igloo.

6. I think it goes without saying, but you can’t interact with NPC. The mail person throwing the bills at the ground. The delivery kid. They don’t exist to your sim. Oh yeah. Pay your bills. It’s not much, and if the repo man magically spawns and takes your stuff cos you weren’t on your lot watching over your camp ground. It’s nature breaking your things boy.

7. If your sim is dying, you must be on a lot of some kind. It’s game over if your sim dies and your sim cannot die off lot, and it’s cheating if you try to deny your sim of an honest death. Instead they’ll be stuck and can’t act unless directed to another lot.

DIFFICULTY/VARIATIONS:

version a) Your sim does not have the luxury of fire on hand. They don’t have a lighter on them

With no fire pit, you can see if your sim can survive the first couple of days, finding resources (seeds) to see if they can start (buy) a fire (pit). That might be impossible as the cheapest firepit in game is 295 bucks. A custom content fire pit worth 5 bucks that fits the aesthetic however?

version b) Nothing lasts forever in these unforgiving climates...

Classic depreciation of objects.. after a week of using an object, let it be the fire pit or tent, you must delete it and replace it with the exact same thing. If you can’t afford to replace both the tent and the firepit you will need to make a decision of what you need most.

version c) Nothing is permanent at all! (aka god tier torture)

After using the firepit once, you must use testing cheats to delete it. After sleeping in the tent once, you must delete it the same way. Now this is some major level 792 stuff here, so maybe you can implement this after your sim has survived one year...

20k run: Have your sim work towards 20,000 simoleons instead of 1,600 simoleons.

This way you can limit the size of your save and the NHD files in it by using the “Move to Another Town” interaction.

Survival of the Fittest: proving your stamina

If you’re going this route, your sim is not allowed to run anywhere (I’m serious) until they have one Athletic skill point. You can get this with swimming, or Simoro’s Workout mod on Simlogical. Before you can even leave this town, you have to complete the jogging skill challenge. You will find that takes precious time to traverse across the barren place your sim is in. Just remember they’re not professional adventurers with amazing skills, they have to adapt.

It’s all Relative

If you’re using a long life span, use NRaas Relativity to turn on the Apply Lifespan Skill Gain Factor. The skills will take longer and more work to gain. Good luck :)

Worn out Threads (Alpine version only): Truly living off the clothes on your back

Your sim was dumped here very much with the intention of them to die. Your sim is never allowed to stay in their outerwear.

Fatal Moodlets: Sims aren’t that resilient are they?

When your sim gets the On Fire, Singed, Frozen Solid moodlets, the challenge immediately ends. If you couldn’t get hydration or shade and you’re at risk of heatstroke, or you were struck by lightning, or you fell to the ground cos your body couldn’t fight off the cold... would you magically stand up like you were given a second chance?

Your goal isn’t to get comfortable here. You’ll find your sim’s life becomes a juggling act of needs. Your sim is trying to find out what has happened to them. They do not want to stay here. If they can survive long enough, they must gather supplies and use their skills to find the nearest town in search for answers.

I think that’s pretty much it!

other notes:

When your sim gets Desolate, they will not fish or harvest. If they go to their home lot, they will autonomously talk to inanimate objects and their social motive will get back up slightly.

ITF:

The way the Unstable trait works, is that it resets your sim’s social motive and hygiene motive when the traits change. You can use that to your advantage I suppose. I’ve had a bug where when the traits change, they are completely erased (as you can see here for Ty Herring) - to counter this I used NRaas MasterController to repopulate the missing traits.

PETS:

Your sim can interact with wild animals. You may watch the animals and try to socialise with them, that proves hard enough as it is to be honest. They’re so finicky and it could be a waste of your sim’s precious time.

Wildlife can be caught once per type, one bird, one rodent, one reptile (except there would be no reptiles in the colder climates). You can sell them. Say you caught and ate them and the nutrients gave you so much energy. Or you can keep them if you don’t wanna go all brutal. 

You can try to befriend the stray if you ever come across it.

If you made it, congrats!

There will be a Part 2

[thrivingprimally-blog]

“Healthy”

I wanted to get 2019 started with this question about what "healthy" really means to get you thinking about how improving your health (REALLY improving your health) can change your life in unimaginable ways.

We say we’re going to go to the gym, start exercising, or lose weight to “get healthy”. But what does it REALLY mean to be “healthy” anyway? In today’s world, “healthy” has become a very loosely defined term. Symptoms and chronic states of dis-ease have become so commonplace that we’ve come to label ourselves as “healthy” so long as we’re not down and out with strep throat, a cold or the flu, have not received a warning from our doctor that our cholesterol levels or blood pressure are not normal, or we don’t have some type of medical diagnosis such as cancer or an autoimmune disease. Unfortunately, things have become so bad that even folks who have a diagnosed autoimmune disease of some sort are considered “healthy” as long as they’re just chugging along and not down and out with the bug of the season.

We intuitively know that we’re not actually “healthy” when we’re experiencing symptoms, because we go to our doctors for help. Because, let’s face it, the symptoms suck and they’re impacting your daily life and happiness. If you’re like most people I know, you’ve been to your doctor to seek help for some nagging symptoms that you know aren’t normal. The doctor listened to your complaints during your rushed appointment, and probably interrupted you a few times to hurry your story along. You likely walked out of the office with a prescription in your hand for a new medication or two, likely a long-term medication that you’ll need to take indefinitely because there’s no cure for the ailment that your doctor diagnosed you with during that ten minute rushed appointment. Oh, and these new long-term medications are in addition to the other long-term medications that you were prescribed before during previous visits for different symptoms.

Or perhaps your doctor ran some blood work and maybe even scheduled you for some scans. You’re actually secretly hoping that SOMETHING will show up on those tests to give you SOME explanation as to why you’re experiencing all these symptoms and to confirm that you are not actually crazy. But, the results come back and everything looks normal. You’re “healthy”.

“You’re having respiratory problems and get short of breath during exercise? You must have asthma because all the bloodwork and scans look normal. Here’s a prescription for an emergency inhaler and another for a daily maintenance inhaler.”

“You’re experiencing chronic headaches? All the tests look normal. Here’s a prescription for a medication to reduce the occurrence/severity of your headaches, and another for managing the pain when you get one.”

“Can’t sleep at night? Here’s a prescription for a sleep medication.”

“You’ve been experiencing depression and/or anxiety? Here’s a depression/anxiety medication. It must be taken daily and don’t you dare stop taking it without consulting your doctor first because it’s dangerous to stop taking it all at once. You must be weaned off!”

“You’re exhausted all the time no matter how much sleep you get? You must be depressed. Here’s a prescription for depression medication. See above.”

“Terrible allergies and sinus issues? All the tests look normal. Here’s a prescription for a daily medication intended to suppress your symptoms and another one for a nasal steroid to squirt up your nose a couple times per day. Oh, and you should probably get rid of your dog. And avoid going outdoors during allergy season. Wrapping yourself in a bubble might be a good option as well. There’s no cure for allergies, you’re just one of the unlucky ones.”

“Acne? Here’s a prescription for that. Who knows how long you’ll need to take it. And you should probably buy some of those medicated acne face wash lotions and potions. Oh, and jeez, stop touching your face already!”

“Terrible PMS symptoms, heavy menstrual bleeding? You should definitely be taking hormonal birth control pills to f*** with your body’s natural hormone producing pharmacy. You might even consider an ablation surgery to screw with your hormones even more. Oh, and here’s a prescription to manage the cramps and another to control your anxiety.”

“Heartburn? Here’s a prescription antacid.”

“Digestion issues? Here are some medications for that.”

And on and on and on.

What gives?

If any of this sounds familiar to you, you’re not alone. And you’re not crazy. I suffered from a laundry list of joy-diminishing chronic symptoms for over two decades, the grand finale of which was a two-year autoimmune flare-up that the doctors couldn’t seem to identify which left me agonizing daily about my mortality and wondering what my young boys’ lives would be like after I was gone. There were countless doctor visits, blood draws and scans, all of which said things looked “normal”. Over those 20+ years, I estimate that I was prescribed antibiotics over 60 times in addition to a wide range of other pharmaceuticals. I wish I was exaggerating. By the time I was 30 I was taking five long-term prescription medications in addition to over-the-counter medications such as Advil, which I took to reduce pain and inflammation from my frequent running injuries.

For many years I figured that I was just unlucky and because no doctor seemed to be able to give me any long-term solutions, I came to accept that managing these symptoms was just going to be my way of life. Maybe it was just bad genetics or because my dad smoked in the house when I was a kid (that was likely a contributing factor). And, like most people today, I figured I was “healthy” as long as I wasn’t down and out with the bug of the season, like strep throat, which I got at least once, but usually twice per year for over 20 years. I motored through each day in survival mode doing all the things that moms do. Until things got SO bad that I was facing my own mortality and I decided to take my health into my own hands.

I learned that my “healthy” eating habits were not as healthy as I thought, and adopted an ancestral, or Paleo, approach to eating, which...CHANGED MY LIFE! I learned that the way I was exercising (marathon training) was actually harming my health, so I changed the way I exercised, even though I LOVED running, and at the time believed there was no other exercise that I could love as much. I learned that my thinking patterns, sleep habits, and stress perception/management were all contributing factors to my health (or lack thereof). And I learned that there were HIDDEN causes of dysfunction in my body that all my doctors’ tests had not uncovered. I discovered these hidden causes of stress on my body through functional lab testing, which I now use as an investigative tool to help my own clients figure out the H.I.D.D.E.N. causes of dysfunction in their bodies. Dysfunction with the Hormones, Immune, Digestion, Detoxification, Energy, and Nervous systems.

Healing my body was a journey that required work and a diligent commitment to changing the lifestyle habits (including my thinking habits) that were not contributing to my overall wellbeing.  But it was work that ended up being well worth the effort. Today, at almost 46 years old, my quality of life far surpasses the quality of life from what I experienced in my teens until my late thirties. I wake up each morning full of energy and anticipation of the day ahead. I no longer suffer from any of the symptoms that were at one point a part of my identity. I no longer need to know where the closest box of tissues is. I have not taken a prescription medication of any kind in almost eight years. I am often mistaken by strangers as my young adult sons’ girlfriend or sister; a pretty freaking awesome side effect of being healthy from the inside out!

My friends, taking charge of my health has been the biggest source of empowerment that I have ever experienced and has improved my life in more ways than I can even begin to explain.

So, getting back to my original question, “What is health?”. Today, my definition of health is much different than it was for over two decades when I suffered from all those symptoms. It is far different than what most of us, including doctors, in our modern world have come to define as “health”. My definition of health is having an absence of symptoms and waking up each and every day filled with the energy necessary to tackle whatever challenges life has to throw at us.

So I’m here to to tell you that if you are suffering from chronic symptoms, you’re not healthy, even if the blood work and the scans say you are. Because as I said above, true health means an absence of symptoms. The good news is that you have the power within you to fix that! The suffering is unnecessary, and you are not "unlucky".

The human body has an amazing capacity to heal if only we give it the right conditions. We really are intended to thrive, not just survive. Pushing through each day with pain and suffering is what I call surviving, and we all deserve so much more so that we can ENJOY LIFE each and every day and be there fully for all the things that matter. Like our families.

If you are ready to take charge of your health and stop the cycle of trial and error, I can help you do that. My experience with suffering from chronic health issues for years and healing my body when the professionals couldn’t help lit a fire in me to help others who are suffering. I know what it’s like to feel like you can’t be there fully for your family, struggling through each and every day, and wondering if you’ll be able to care for your children. Because I’ve been there. I suffered, and I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to. There is life on the other side of chronic illness. A f***ing good one. So, if you’re ready...really ready to get to the other side...contact me here to schedule your FREE 45-minute consultation session to learn about my health coaching programs and to find out how my work is different than anything you’ve experienced until now.

And one more thing, if you have a friend or a loved one who is struggling with chronic health issues, please share this link with them!

[todokori-kun]

AYYYYY

I’M SO. FREAKING. GLAD YOU’RE BACK <3333 (I feel really stupid for this because I KNOW Queen Luna’s told me like a dozen times that if you’re not answering, it’s probably because of the internet…but ugh, Evans is an idiot who  still keeps having mini panic attacks over late replies XD like, I almost sent a 'did I say something wrong' message before I took a deep breath and realized how hecking stupid that would sound lol)

You’re welcome! They really do look amazing, though <3 I’ve also been working on aesthetics but eh. Idk, really. I made a barely-tolerable Saiko/Urie one, and then one for one of the Love Interests in that Otome Game I mentioned (not The Blind Griffin; the original thing I was working on)…which actually looks nice, but guess what? I could only find four pictures that matched with the color scheme/themes I’d picked out OTL

And tysm <333 ;-; but seriously, Mikasa is such a Zoldyck. Like, what if she and Illumi switched places. It’s like “Killua, you are my favorite sibling, I’ll follow you anywhere and protect you from everything” and “Eren you have a duty to your family (AKA me) please, stop playing the hero and come back here”

Actually I feel like Killua would be a lot happier with Mikasa for an older sibling instead of Illumi. Like, Zoldyck!Mikasa would probably be just as messed up as Illumi, but if we’re talking about canon Mikasa…let’s be honest. If Killua wanted to be a hunter she’d make sure he’d pass the test by any means necessary. If Killua wanted to get away from their family and explore, then sure, she’d order the butlers to let him out. If Killua’s friends came to visit and Mrs. Zoldyck/the servants refused to let them in, Mikasa would storm out there and open the gates herself. If the rest of the family went too far I really think she'd be perfectly willing to stab them all in the back, throw Killua over her shoulder, resign from her job as an assassin and walk right out of there.

Only Eren would be miserable. Illumi would probably do an even better job of keeping him ‘safe’ than Mikasa did (unlike Mikasa Illumi is perfectly willing to manipulate loved ones to keep them by his side), but…yeah. It’s Illumi. How could Eren be happy?

I KNOW. THE HAMILTON FEELS. (if you’d like I could send you more letters? I’ve managed to find quite a few….

Also idk if this is even true, but do you know about the relationship between Angelica and TJeffs (apparently they were friends and Jefferson may have been pining over Angelica, just a bit)? So I heard that Angelica slapped him so hard one time that he refused to go to any parties after that if he heard she was there too.

He also became terrified of Eliza as well…

Again, idk if this is true but I sorta want it to be lol)

Like, ok, maybe Eliza doesn’t get to truly shine until That Would Be Enough, and maybe Peggy comes off as simple comic relief to some people, but…HOW CAN YOU LISTEN TO 'THE SCHUYLER SISTERS’ AND NOT BE IMPRESSED BY ANGELICA FREAKING SCHUYLER

Nope nope nope nope rewind rewind

How does the bastard, orphan, son of a whore and a 

Scotsman, dropped in the middle of a forgotten

Spot in the Caribbean by providence, impoverished, in squalor,

Grow up to be a hero and a scholar?

seriously? Because I broke a lot of stuff too XD There’s only one 100% undamaged glass item in this house that belongs to me, and that’s the last snow globe, the only one I somehow haven’t smashed yet. I don’t even touch it anymore because I’m scared of breaking it lol

And aww that sounds so sweet! Weirdly enough I could destroy my own clothes and doodle all over my skin but I never had the guts to do anything to my dolls…I was tempted to give them haircuts several times but I knew mom would probably freak out if she saw doll hair all over the floor so.

Yeah, tbh I have no idea what happened there either. As for blood…well, I got used to nosebleeds as a kid. Like, a ton of blood would randomly come pouring out of my nose all the time and I didn’t even care; just like 'oh welp there it all goes…dad can you pass me a tissue?’. I also don’t mind 'messier’ injuries like scraped knees. But bruises and cuts really, REALLY bother me for some reason ;-;

Oh. Oh dear.

Um, um, um. What is that. I’m never reading this manga. It will make me suffer.

(I wonder if you’re talking about Erza/Jellal? If not, sorry ^^;;)

Feel free to show me the chapter if you want to, though! I’ll try my best to figure out what’s going on :D

Schwing *insert lenny face here*

I finally found the OPM volumes! I’m gonna do my best to catch up with both that and HxH :) (that thing with Saitama, the smol child and the snow monsters at the end of volume 1 is like the cutest thing ever in my eyes. Idk. Maybe I’m just weird?)

I mean, Roma ate Urie so. We’re in for one heck of a ride…

I tried my best, but weirdly, CP hasn’t been working very well for me the last few days…it keeps crashing. I’m really sorry OTL But I’m trying to fix it and I think it’ll work now!

nononononononononono don’t you dare write any more HCs Queen Luna please spare me

Oooh, can’t wait to see your reaction :D

That sounds amazing! Wishing you luck with finding more people to do it with you- I’m sure it’ll turn out great! Tell me how it turns out later, please??? <3

(also I’ll be sending you some HxH character pics, mostly of my problematic favs…hope that’s ok ^^ (tbh I’m mostly trying to get you to join me in my Adultrio (Illumi/Chrollo/Hisoka trio) obsession. Also my love for Leorio and Gon))

No, no, don’t worry about it!! Seriously, I felt so bad, because I’d be in the middle of watching something (USBs were my lord and saviour) and think ‘Omg I gotta tell Evans about this’ and then look up and think ‘wait when was the last time I had net for long enough to answer?’ Then I’d get depressed XD

Aaah, also, telling you in advance this time, on Thursday we’ll be traveling, so I probably won’t be able to answer for 10ish days ^^;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; I feel like crap OTL

Ayyy thank you so much!!!  I get your struggle with colours XD It can be really hard ;-; I usually try to get 8 pics, but end up with 6. 

I finally saw some pics of Illumi and I get what you mean by ‘dead fish eyes’. Just, I don’t remember the last time I’ve seen a character so bored. 

If only, if only... Tbh, Mikasa would be an amazing sibling figure. She’d make sure that her sibling is happy and if there was someone who made them NOT happy, then she’d return the favour.  I say Killua needs a lost big sis who is pretty much Mikasa XD

Well,,, let’s say Mikasa AND Eren switch places with Illumi? But then we’re dooming pretty much everyone in the AoT universe... Poor Armin XD

BRING ON THE LETTERS

AHAHAHAHAHAH I completely understand Jeff XD Weren’t they rumoured to have had an affair?  That’s amazing XD Just what did the slap have to be like to make a grown man afraid of being in the same room as you. Can you imagine what would’ve happened if he didn’t hear Angelica would be there, though? Like, he walks in and sees her.

WADDAYA MEAN ELIZA DOESN’T SHINE TILL THAT WOULD BE ENOUGH??? WHAT ABOUT HELPLESS??  And, true, you don’t know the awesomeness of Peggy unless you know the history, but damn, she was a freaking badass.  Thankfully, Satisfied did make them go ‘damn’, mostly the rap parts XD

The ten-dollar Founding Father without a father Got a lot farther by working a lot harder By being a lot smarter By being a self-starter By fourteen, they placed him in charge of a trading charter

Ahahah, that’s completely understandable XD Now that I look around my room, the only glass item which is not a lamp, is a small vial that stands on a shelf I never touch. Maybe that’s why it survived my childhood XD

Nope, the dolls looked like nightmare fuel if my sister didn’t help XD I knew ever since I was a kid that I could never be a make up artist or a hair stylist... Tbh I never had any remorse about cutting their hair, and since my sister was there as well, she taught me to always throw the hair away/do it above a trash can. 

Well, I have to blow my nose a lot (I get sick really often), so I also get nosebleeds every once in a while, but I’m still not used to them.

ALRIGHTY THEN I am totally uploading the last chapter then XD

Yep, it’s Erza and Jellal. Wait, how do you know that??

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Yaay!! I’ll have to read the rest as well XD

SHE WHAT S H E   W H A T

Ah, that’s a shame... don’t worry about it though!! 

The thing is, every time I ask someone for advice on how to start a group every time, all they tell me is ‘go to cons and find cosplayers’. It’s literally the only advice I’ve received.  The problem? Nearest cons are in Germany. And that’s not exactly nearby. Even if I did go and found LL cosplayers, what are the odds they’re Croatian? It’s honestly so frustrating.  I’ll just practice dances on my own, and if I find someone who likes it, great! If not, then whatever. 

Oh boy, let’s get to the pics!

Gon really does seem like a cinnamon roll! I wanna adopt him XD

Omg I already love Leorio! Like wow, he seems extra, but nice under all that? Rumpel no2

I wanna adopt Killua as well XD He seems like the sweetest sunshine child out there

Tbh when i saw Pika, I thought he was a girl. Whoops. Also, tragedy™

I see Chrollo becoming my problematic fave XD Also, he with his hair down ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Aww, that’s nice! I hope she enjoys it!

DOn’t remind me of that ep XDDD Remember when I said a while ago that I was watching Sherlock? I watched The Reichenbach Fall. You should’ve seen me during Watson’s speech at his grave.

1am, not wearing pants, stuffing my face with pancakes while crying.  Why does it seem like 1am, no pants is my default mode XD

Yes, Illumi certainly has beautiful eyes. I feel compelled to gouge them out and decorate my room with them.

Also, idk if you’ve noticed but I’m slowly reviving scenarios on ice!! I missed that blog, so I wanna go back to writing for it ^^