Never Yours
Pairings: Azriel x Reader, Azriel x Elain, Lucien x Reader
Summary: Azriel never regretted his decisions so much like he does right now.
Warnings: Angst (like a lot), fluff (also a lot because we need a balance)
Words: 6.1k
You were born in Day Court during the longest and the warmest day of the year: Summer Solstice. Even though it's not a custom to exchange gifts on that holiday, your parents always told you that you were their greatest gift and that the sun shined brighter that day like he knew that you would be entering this world very soon.
Your father was Helion's best and longest friend, and he had a place in his Court as his second in command and advisor. Your mother was the lead healer of the Court. She was one of the most powerful and talented healers of Prythian, being a very close second to Madja.
Due to your parents' jobs, you grew up in the Day Court Palace and close to Helion, who didn't just happen to be your High Lord but also your godfather.
Your parents reconsider that maybe making Helion your godfather had been a mistake because of how much he spoiled you. On your 4th birthday, he gave you a black baby pegasus as a present, which you decided to name him Blackjack. When he discovered that you liked reading, he had a private library built in your room with all kinds of books. When you were seven and heard an old male saying that females should only wear dresses, you only wore pants for the next three months and of course, Helion made sure you had every type of pants at your disposal.
When your parents tried to scold him, he just scoffed with his only response being, "She's my goddaughter. What else am I supposed to do?" with a big grin plastered in his face.
You weren't Helion's child, but he always treated you like one, and that never changed, especially after your parents' death.
Your favorite thing about your parents was their mating bond. After you learned that mates are rare and a blessing, it made every single thing about your parents' love even more unique and pure.
You saw first hand what true love is really like. You saw how much they loved, cared, supported, and protected each other. You saw loyalty and honesty in their deepest forms. Seeing your parents' mating bond made you wish to the stars for a mate, and that one day, you would be blessed enough to find him.
But you also saw how deep a mating bond could go. You saw it first hand, too.
You saw it when your mother died after getting infected by a rare disease while trying to help her patients. Her death destroyed your father. The pain and the grief of losing your mother, his mate, and the love of his life were so big that your father followed her into the next life a few days later, so they could start their next journey together.
Before he died, your father made Helion promise him that he would take care of you, which he agreed without hesitation. He became more protective of you. He couldn't stop thinking how unfair it was for you to lose your parents at such a young age, only eleven years old, when Helion had them for centuries.
Your godfather made sure to provide you with anything you needed from the best education to the best clothes and when your healing powers start manifesting and you decide to follow your mother's steps, Helion called in a favor to Thesan to see if he could teach you himself. The High Lord of Dawn was happy to accept, and so were you at the thought of having him as your teacher.
You moved to Dawn Court for a year where you learned everything about being a healer, not only with the High Lord himself but also with his best healers.
You became one of the best: talented, powerful, gifted, and wise. Just like your mother.
Madja was looking for an apprentice at the time you returned to Day, and when she heard about your skills, she asked for you. Rhysand reached out to Helion with Madja's offer: you would be her apprentice, work in the clinic with her but you would also assist her if she ever needed to go to a patient's residence, and would learn everything she could teach you.
It wasn't needed to convince you to agree. You had heard about Madja and her healing, after Thesan, she was the healer you wanted to work with the most, so of course you were more than happy to have a chance to have her as your mentor. Rhysand added that you would be welcome to stay in one of his personal residences, the House of Wind, during your time in Velaris.
You were only supposed to stay in the Night Court for a year, but that was before you met the Shadowsinger.
However, despite wanting the apprenticeship more than anything, if you had known what would happen when you agreed to go to the Night Court, you would never have accepted the offer.
-
Azriel couldn't sleep.
No matter how much he tried, he couldn't. Not with tomorrow so close, not when he knew what was waiting for him in the morning.
The past was haunting him tonight, his thoughts hadn't stopped since he had been informed earlier of tomorrow's meeting. So now, here he was, trying to keep his eyes open even though his body was protesting for him to do the opposite.
But he was fighting that need because every time he closed his eyes, you were all he saw. Your beautiful face with your sparkling eyes, your smooth hair, your pointy ears, your sweet voice, and your soft laughter. You were haunting his thoughts like a punishment for all those years ago.
So all he could do now was to sit on the edge of his balcony with his legs hanging off while waiting for the sun to be born, and remember how things used to be before he destroyed everything.
-
Everything was perfect in the beginning. Velaris was beautiful, the people were kind, and the pastries were absolutely delicious.
The only thing you actually missed, besides Helion, was the warmth of the sun like no other Court had but the Day Court. But that was just the Day citizen in you talking.
Your apprenticeship was going amazing. You and Madja had instantly connected, and you were learning so much. Two weeks later, you were already attending your own patients without supervision. You really had a gift, and every time Madja complimented your powers, you gave all the credits to your genes, to your mom. It warmed your heart knowing that the Mother had blessed you with this part of her. In this way, it felt like she was always with you.
The House of Wind felt just like home, and you adjusted perfectly. The Inner Circle had welcomed you with open arms, and you got along with everyone. They thought you and Morrigan would be the closest of all, but they got a big surprise when it turned out to be you and Azriel.
The Shadowsinger was different from everyone you ever met. Everyone in Day was so loud, open, and extroverted. But not him. He was calm, reserved, and difficult to read, but with time, you ended up finding out that the two of you were more alike than you thought. You were able to go through the shell that Azriel had so perfectly built around him over the centuries.
A friendship was born. Every day, Azriel would fly you to the clinic and then back to the House. You explored Velaris together and made your personal mission to try every single restaurant and bakery from the City of Starlight.
You walked along the Sidra and even stopped once in a while to dance along the melodies that the musicians were playing. You would read together whether that was in the library, in your room, or in his. You even started training with him and sometimes, Cassian.
You became each other's person. When a day at the clinic was hard or you would lose a patient, he was there to hug and comfort you, and you found yourself doing the same for him about his missions. So you decided to take the next step and spoke about your parents' death, how much still affected you losing them.
And in that moment, Azriel realized how much trust you put in him, so he decided to return it and opened about his past, his family, and his hands. You listened to every word, cleaned every tear, and held him for as long as he needed.
You found yourself falling in love with him a little more day by day, and it only took you a few months to realize that you were completely in love.
The day the bond snapped was one of the happiest days of your life. It happened during the most beautiful celebration in the Night Court: Starfall.
Your hair was tied in a long braid that reached down to your waist, decorating the braid were small yellow daylilies. You were wearing a golden dress that fit perfectly against your sun-kissed skin. The dress had a slit on the left side that went up to the top of your thigh, a single strap held the dress on your right shoulder and when you turned around, whoever was behind you could have a perfect view of your naked back. Golden jewels rested on your ears and neck.
You looked like a goddess, one blessed by the sun itself. You were shining just like a Day Court citizen should.
Azriel standed next to you in the balcony while gazing at the spirits passing. Both of your hands rested on the stone of the balcony, and when you went to adjust your hand, it brushed against Azriel's. At the new feeling, you looked up to find his eyes, only to see the Shadowsinger already looking at you. In that moment, with the touching of your hands and the meeting of your eyes, the world stopped.
Your hands start interviewing, and everything else just disappeared.
It was just the two of you and the sound of your heartbeats. And then, a golden thread appeared and started tying your hearts and souls.
Azriel held your free hand and pressed it against his own chest, right where his heart laid. You followed his action, freeing your intertwined hands and putting his hand on your chest, above your heart.
With the final loop of the golden thread around your hearts, Azriel bent down and kissed you.
That moment couldn't be more beautiful and magical even if you tried. You had finally found the mate that you had wished to the stars all those years ago.
Everything was perfect. You had everything you wanted and more. You lived in a beautiful city that you learned to love and were starting to call it home. You had the job of your life, working alongside one of your idols. Amazing friends that made you feel welcomed and part of a little family. And finally, your mate, the male you were in love with, long before that beautiful and sacred golden thread. Everything was perfect.
But of course, nothing lasts forever. And all of that disappeared when Elain Archeron came into the picture.
-
Ten years. He couldn't believe that much time had passed. All those years without you.
It had been ten years since the last time he saw you. Ten years since he had heard something regarding you. Ten years since he had broken your heart. And ten years since he had made the biggest mistake of his entire existence.
You had moved back to Day Court after that day, after what happened and after what he did.
The High Lord of Day had forbidden Azriel from seeing you and from trying to contact you in any way. And months later, when the rumors of a certain Shadowsinger flying above the Palace in hopes to get a glimpse of you reached his ears, Helion banned him from his Court.
Helion had always been a very charismatic and loving person. He's kind, generous, and a very good friend. He gets along with almost everyone, always joking around and laughing. Some people may say that he's the nicest and kindest High Lord that Prythian has ever seen.
When problems arise, he always tries to find a solution to solve them or if a solution is not possible, a way to improve them. But not this time. Not when it comes to you and his son, Lucien.
Because your heart wasn't the only one to be shattered that day, no, Lucien's heart was a victim, too. So, from that moment, everything that Helion did was to protect you and Lucien, to make sure that you felt safe, that you had space and time to heal. You thought that was ironic, considering you were a healer yourself.
Azriel's banishment wasn't the only consequence from the events of that day.
That day also cost the alliance between the Day Court and the Night Court, and when the alliance fell apart, so did Helion and Rhysand's friendship.
But Azriel wasn't the only one to blame for all of this. Elain Archeron was guilty, too. She, too, was banished from the Day Court and forbidden to contact Lucien in any way.
But unlike Azriel, Elain's actions cause far more consequences than his.
The Autumn Court followed the same decisions as the Day Court. The banishment of Azriel and Elain and the prohibition of any kind of contact with Lucien. Eris, now the new High Lord of the Autumn Court after Beron's death, didn't take lightly to what happened to his little brother.
The two of them had reconnected after Eris became High Lord. They talked through everything that had happened in the last centuries, made peace with their past, and decided to move forward together. Now, the brothers were inseparable and had the kind of relationship they had always wanted since they were younger. So when Eris heard what had happened, he considered those actions as a personal attack.
He went as far as to offer Lucien the opportunity to choose the Blood Duel, which his little brother refused, saying that all of this had already caused enough pain. Eris wasn't angry just because of Lucien. He was angry because of you, too. You were the first person to give him the benefit of the doubt, the first one to not judge him, unlike the others you tried to get to know him, to be his friend and he let you.
You were the first one to know the real Eris, to know what he hid behind the mask. Therefore, you had a special place in his heart. Even if you didn't share the same blood, you were part of his family.
But that didn't stop with Day and Autumn. Spring joined them, too.
Despite everything that happened and the fact that they were still working on their friendship, Tamlin's loyalty remained with Lucien. Spring had been Lucien's home for decades, and with that came a brotherhood between the two of them.
Needless to mention that Jurian and Vassa's loyalties also remained with Lucien.
To everyone outside the situation, all of this may seem overreacted and exaggerated. But to everyone involved, it's not.
After all, you and Lucien almost died. That's what happens when a mating bond is rejected.
-
Azriel couldn't believe things had turned out this way. He was so sure that the Cauldron was wrong, that he belonged with Elain. Three sisters for three brothers. How more poetic could it be?
There were signals everywhere: Feyre with Rhysand, Nesta with Cassian, and Elain with him. Elain wouldn't go close to Lucien or talk to him, but she would sit next to him whether during dinners or on the couch, she would talk to him, and requested his company when she went to the garden or to the city. Even his shadows disappeared every time he was with her.
Weren't those signals clear enough? They were meant to be. The Cauldron was wrong.
So Azriel did what he thought was right. He rejected the mating bond with you, and Elain did the same with Lucien.
He never thought that the rejection of the bond would've almost cost your life.
That memory still gave him nightmares to this day. How pale you turned, how you sank to your knees with your hand pressed against your chest, tears running free down your cheeks and muffled screams leaving your lips. How much pain you had suffered and how he had been the cause of it. How once, not that long ago, he had been the reason for your smiles, laughs, and giggles.
But that memory wasn't his. It was Rhysand's. Rhys, who had to go through your mind shields, and knock you unconscious so the pain would stop and that memory led him to another memory.
The memory of that day and the things that had followed after he shattered your heart.
-
Azriel wasn't there the moment it happened. No, he was too busy kissing Elain after admitting how much they craved each other.
And while he kissed Elain, he felt that golden thread tying the two of you breaking and start slowly to disappear.
Nothing could have prepared him for that last memory of you when he and Elain were summoned to the River House a few hours later.
Rhys had shown him not as a courtesy but as a lesson of how much his actions can affect others. But you weren't just some other. You were his mate. Former mate. Ex-mate.
Azriel made a move to go find you. He needed to explain it to you, and he needed you to understand, but you were already gone.
Rhys told him that after you regained consciousness, Lucien took you with him back to Day Court.
Lucien. Who you had become instantly friends with since the male's arrival in Velaris. You had treated him just like you were when you moved to the Night Court. You showed him the city, the good restaurants and the best pastries, and also told him about Helion, now that he knew the High Lord was his father and he was his Heir. You wanted him to feel like home, just like you did.
When Azriel made his intentions clear to go to Day and find you, Rhys showed him the letter Helion had sent. The one that forbidden him from seeing you and from trying to contact you in any way. The one that also had the same indications to Elain regarding Lucien. And that if any of them tried to disobey his orders, there would be consequences.
Azriel knew of protective the male was of you and that he would do anything to protect his family, so for a split second, Azriel found himself fearing the High Lord.
Rhysand also ordered them to stay away from the two of you, stating that they had already created enough problems and the Night Court could not afford a war with Day.
After they left his office, Rhys sat down on his chair, trying to think how he was gonna solve this. His mind kept going back to you and Lucien.
He was there when Lucien came for you, the red headed male was also pale and every few minutes, his hand would press to his chest in pain, his eyes were still red, probably from the tears he had shed.
Rhys knew that Helion's letter wouldn't be the only one he would receive that day. And like he was right, three more letters arrived during it. First from Autumn, then Spring and the last one from the Band of Exiles.
Rhys passed a hand through his black hair and released a long sigh, Azriel and Elain actions had just cost four allies to the Night Court.
-
When you and Lucien arrived in Day, Helion almost fell to his knees at your sight.
You were in Lucien's arms, your eyes half open with tears still following down your cheeks. One of your hands was against your chest, rubbing small circles in a way of trying to get rid of the pain. Lucien wasn't much better.
Helion headed towards you and started examining you for injuries, but he found nothing, and when confusion made his way to his features, Lucien told him everything.
The confusion was replaced by anger, but the anger wasn't just directed towards the Shadowsinger and the middle Archeron sister. Some of it was towards himself.
Towards himself, because seeing you like that, Helion felt that he had broken the promise he made to your dad and that this was his fault.
Without giving time for any more thoughts to fill his mind, Helion led Lucien to your room, where the Heir laid you on the bed. You had fallen asleep in his arms with your cheeks still stained.
Lucien sat on the chair by your desk that was placed in front of your bed and said to Helion that he would stay with you. Helion gave him a firm nod, remembering that Lucien didn't have a room yet in his Palace, but he was about to fix that.
Helion didn't waste any time after making sure that the two of you were okay for now.
He called two of his servants to prepare a room for the young Heir and went straight to his office where he wrote the letter and sent it to Rhysand.
The next week's were a complicated ones but showed that time was the best healer.
You no longer spend the days locked in your room alone. You started to eat properly again and went back to work. Day by day, you were smiling more and sometimes making jokes.
Lucien improved as well. He decided to live in the Day Court for the time being and took his place as Helion's second in command. His relationship with Helion was also getting stronger over time. They were making up for the lost time.
But that wasn't the only thing that changed. Your relationship with Lucien also changed.
You got closer than ever, due to the fact you were the only ones who knew what the other was going through.
You found comfort in each other's presence and started spending more time together to the point where you became each other's favorite person.
Little by little, you start helping each other heal. You started putting back together the pieces that had been broken, and the pain started slowly fading until the day that it didn't hurt anymore.
You two mended your hearts and souls, and for the first time, in a long time, you were full again.
Your friendship grew, and so did your feelings for each other.
-
Azriel couldn't believe how wrong he had been. Because the Cauldron wasn't wrong, it had never been wrong.
He was the one who was wrong. Right from the beginning.
He and Elain had tried a relationship after yours and Lucien's departure. It worked for six months until it didn't.
Azriel questioned himself why the relationship was starting to fail and why being with Elain was starting to feel wrong.
It didn't take him too long to understand the reason. It was because she wasn't you. He found out that the reason his shadows disappear every time he was with Elain wasn't because they were destined but because they were with you.
His shadows would leave him and Elain to go find you, like they were stating that they wouldn't betray you, that they chose you. On the day he broke up with Elain, he found his shadows in your old room, which once was filled with colors, books, paintings, and light, and now was empty, dusty, and dark. The shadows were swimming around your Starfall dress, the one you wore on the day your bond had snapped. The sight of the dress was painful, and he understood why it had been left behind.
Azriel had tried to apologize, he flew to Day Court and around the Palace trying to find you but he never did and the next day Helion sent a letter with his and Elain's banishment, making Autumn and Spring to have the same decision.
He understood why, they were trying to protect you and Lucien, and even though he didn't have the right, he just wanted to know if you were okay. Ironic, considering he was the reason you were suffering.
He asked Rhys several times if he knew something about you, and Rhys revealed to him that you weren't talking to him or the other members of the Inner Circle either. You had stated that it was too early and still very painful.
So they respected your decision and kept their distance.
That had caused Azriel's guilt to grow even more. How he wished for Nesta to still have her powers so he could go back in time and repair all of this.
The light of the sun broke his thoughts. The sun was finally making its appearance in the orange and yellow sky.
Azriel released a long breath and looked at the clock perched on his bedroom wall.
The morning was here, and he was only two hours away from seeing you.
-
The Inner Circle stood at the entrance of the Day Court Palace.
Helion had lifted the banishment for this meeting with yours and Lucien consent.
Both of you said that it had been a long time and that the past should stay in the past, but that didn't mean you would be accepting any apologies today.
Koschei was on the rise again, and Prythian needed to come together once more. Right now, your past didn't matter.
The doors swung open, and the Inner Circle made their way inside. A servant led them to the conference room located in the same hallway as Helion's office on the first floor of the Palace.
They sat at the marble table while the servant informed them, "The High Lord will be here in a few minutes." Receiving a nod and a 'Thank you' from Rhysand, the servant left.
Rhys started, "Y/N and Lucien will also be in this meeting. Now, Helion was nice enough to allow the two of you back here, so do not ruin this." He finished while looking at Azriel and Elain, making them both nod their heads.
Helion entered the room, and the Inner Circle raised from their seats. The High Lord of the Day Court made his way to the head of the table. He turned to the side where Rhys, Feyre, and his Inner Circle stood at his left before offering his hand to Rhys to shake it.
Taken by surprise, Rhys needed a few seconds to process what was happening before accepting his hand. Once they had shaken hands, everyone returned to their seats, but not before Helion sent a disapproving look in Azriel's and Elain's direction.
A few minutes into the meeting, the door to the conference room opened again. And there you were.
You were dressed in Day attire, a beautiful white dress that hugged your body, with your hair loosen and golden jewelry adorned your neck and ears. Lucien was by your side also wearing Day attire, one that matched Helion's, with your hand in his.
The Inner Circle held their breaths at your sight. It had been ten years, but all the memories came flashing back to them.
You looked the same, but when you two approached the table, that's when they saw it and shock spread all over their faces.
Azriel couldn't believe what he was seeing. He didn't know what he was expecting to see at this meeting, but it wasn't this.
It wasn't the golden ring that you and Lucien had matching on your left hands informing him that you were married that shocked him.
It was the small and round belly that your free hand was resting on and the sweet vanilla scent that was filling the air. The scent of yours and Lucien's baby.
"Apologies for our delay," Lucien started, then looking in your direction with a smile continued "Someone had a big appetite this morning." He ended with a laugh.
You looked at his gaze, a genuine smile on your lips. "Shut up." You whispered.
Lucien grabs the back of your chair, pulling it to give you enough space to sit. "Thank you, my love." You said while watching him taking the seat at your right, making you stay seated between him and Helion.
For the first time since you entered the room, you looked at the people in front of you. "Night Court," you greeted with a small smile.
Feyre was the first to say "Congratulations Y/N. And Lucien."
Lucien spoke this time. "Thank you, Feyre." He rested his hand on your belly.
"How far long are you?" Rhysand's voice reached your ears.
Looking in his direction, you answered, "23 weeks. Lucien thinks it's a girl, but I think it's a boy," you added. That made Rhys smile.
"I always took you for a boy mom." Amren's voice surprised you and couldn't help but smile at her words. "Congratulations to you two, the Mother knows you deserve it." She finished with a genuine smile.
Lucien looked at Azriel and Elain before directing his eyes to the ancient one "Yes we do. Thank you, Amren." Lucien paused for a second before turning in Helion's direction and continuing. “Let's not keep holding on to the meeting. Please go on, dad."
Helion proceeded with the meeting, but Azriel didn't listen to a word that was said. He couldn't tear his eyes from you and Lucien.
There was no doubt of the love you two shared, not when it was written in both of your eyes. He didn't miss Lucien caresing your belly, and pushing a strand of hair behind your ear, passing his thumb over your jaw and kissing your cheek after.
Or how you rested your right hand on top of his on your belly while your left passed through his long red hair before resting around his shoulders and your smile while doing it.
What bigger proof did he need of your love if not for the baby you were carrying? Lucien's baby, he kept telling himself. Not his. Lucien's.
Jealousy invaded his body, but there was nothing he could do. He made his decision ten years ago, and now he had to live with it.
Lost in his thoughts, he only realized the meeting was over when everyone started standing. Rhys and Helion were finishing talking, and when the doors opened one more time, Eris Vanserra walked in with a little ginger boy in his arms. He couldn't be more than five years old.
He looked exactly like Lucien, except for his eyes. Those were yours.
Azriel's heart sank, and it sank even more a few seconds later, when the little boy spotted you and Lucien. You already had a baby and you were about to have your second.
With a big smile appearing on his sweet face, the little boy almost shouted, "Mommy! Daddy!" The boy jumped from his uncle's arms and ran to you.
You bend down and gather the happy boy in your arms before standing again and passing a hand through his ginger curls and saying, "Hi baby." You peppered his face with kisses making him laugh even more "I thought you were having fun with your uncle." You said looking at your brother in law.
Your son pouted “Uncle Eris doesn't know how to play. He onlys wants to do the boring stuff mommy.”
Everyone in the room chuckled, Eris gasped with fake hurt “Excuse me?”
“Elijah.” Lucien chuckled and said to your son after joining your side “Don't be rude to your uncle.”
“But it’s the truth, daddy.” Elijah hid his face on your neck.
Eris approached the little family with a smile directed to his nephew. "Sorry. I tried to keep him entertained, but he just kept asking about you two."
Lucien noticed his older brother had paint and glitter on his white shirt and laughed at the thought of his son giving him a hard time before exclaiming, "It's alright, brother. We were about to leave anyway."
The little boy settled in your arms and rested his head against yours, Lucien started rubbing his back when the little boy caught the sight of his grandfather and asked before anyone could stop him "Grandpa, how was the meeting with the idiots from the Night Court?"
The room went quiet, and a few gasps escaped. At your son's words, you turned to look at Helion, now on mom's mood. "Helion! How many times do we have to tell you not to speak like that in front of him?"
The room erupted in laughter at your statement. The air became lighter, and Helion put his hands in surrender, promising you that it wouldn't happen again.
You gave him an incredulous look, saying that you didn't believe him. Your son wrapped his tiny arms around your neck and rested his head on your shoulder with a yawn leaving his lips.
You rubbed your son's back while speaking to him. "Cmon Elijah, let's leave before your grandpa comes up with a new bad word for you to learn."
“Bad grandpa” your son agreed with you while earning new chuckles from the Night Court.
Even though he was trying to hold his smile, Azriel failed, your son was too adorable.
You turned your gaze to the Inner Circle and gave them a smile. "It was good to see you all."
"You too, Y/N. I missed you." Cassian replied.
Your smile stretched before telling him, "I missed you too, Cass."
The nickname made his heart ache. Maybe there's still a chance for you to reconnect.
You turned to look behind you, meeting your husband's eyes "You're coming Lu?"
A pink blush made its way to Lucien's cheeks "Of course, my love" The Heir looked at his father "We'll see you at dinner, dad. Night Court." He said giving the Inner Circle a small nod before joining you and wrapping his arm around your waist and giving a kiss to your now sleeping son.
Amren spoke again “See I told you were a boy mom.” A smile never leaving her face.
“You're right. If this baby happens to be a boy as well, I'm gonna be in trouble.” You replied with a arm holding your son and while the other made it's way to your belly.
“No your not, you're gonna be great.” Nesta spoke, a genuine smile on her lips “We already can see you are.” She gestured to the little boy sleeping in your arms.
“Thank you, Nes.” You were grateful for her words.
On your way out, you met Azriel's eyes but you couldn't find the words so you simply gave him a nod with a small smile and Azriel returned the gesture.
When the door closed, Amren was the first to break the silence "Well, the Mother has a sense of humor."
Everyone turned to look at her but she focused her gaze on Azriel and Elain "You rejected them because you believed you belonged with one another only for your relationship to fail six months later. And now," she released a laugh "your former mates found their way towards each other. Fell in love, got married, had a son and have another baby on the way. Ironic isn't it?" She said with the feline smile returning to her lips.
It was Helion who spoke next, amusement all over his face "Indeed. I guess karma is a bitch." He sent a disapproving look one more time in the direction of the two people who almost cost him his family before exiting the room.
Amren's and Helion's words stung but Azriel knew it was nothing but the truth. He realized in that moment, that despite your life now and how things turned out, you would never forgive him.
He had lost you forever and now he had to live with regret for the rest of his life.
After all, you were no longer his.
A/n: Thank you for reading! I'm thinking in making a general taglist so if you wish to be added let me know.
the beautiful dividers belong to @cafekitsune
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Training | Anakin Skywalker
words: 3.8k
warnings: smut, fingering, praising, rough(er) sex, unprotected sex, biting, dom!Anakin
requests are open:)
- you're Obi-Wans apprentice and you meet Anakin Skywalker for the first time-
You were walking quietly next to your master. You hated meeting new people, and the person you were just about to meet was one of the closest friends of your own master. There was always this feeling of needing to be perceived as perfect. You knew that feeling was bad and that it was clouding your vision, but fuck. Having such a great and well-known master had so many downsides. Especially the one when people just expected too much from you.
,,You're lost in your thoughts again`` Your master said with a gentle voice, and you mumbled a quick sorry. He looked down at you, and the both of you continued walking in the large hall. It was the biggest and longest hall you've ever seen. The marble pillars holding the gold-plated ceiling. It seemed like it would take years to walk from the entrance to the end. Thankfully, you saw two figures standing not that far away. Your heart sped up when you realized they were the people master Kenobi talked about.
,,Obi-Wan`` The tall Jedi wearing full black robes, spoke with a laugh. You and your master walked up to them, and you watched as the two Jedi masters shook hands.
,,Anakin, this is y/n, my apprentice`` Obi-Wan said, and suddenly you've felt seen. The tall man looked at you with a smile. You had to force yourself to breathe normally. The way he was looking down at you with a smirk on his lips was making you weak.
,,Its an honor to meet you, master Skywalker`` You said after forcing your brain to work normally. His smirk grew wider before he looked back at Obi-Wan.
,,Trained her well``He said and Obi-Wan laughed proudly. Obi-Wan then said something more, but the words just flew past you.
,,Hello?``The short girl standing next to Anakin spoke, and you finally looked at her. She couldn't be older than 16, but by the way she was standing, you could tell she acted much older.
,,Oh right, Y/n this is Ahsoka, my padawan`` Anakin looked at Ahsoka before looking back at you, kicking the air out of you.
,,Thank you, master...``she rolled her eyes jokingly before reaching her hand to you ,,...I was afraid he forgot about me`` she joked, and you laughed.
,,Y/n`` you said as you grabbed her hand and gently shook it. Even though she was so young, you knew the two of you would get along well. And that was a nice feeling.
Both of your masters then started walking, and you and Ahsoka followed after them in a small distance. She looked up at you, almost like she was scanning you.
,,I like your clothes`` She said, and you smiled. You haven't had anyone compliment you in ages. And a compliment coming from a girl was always so nice. You thanked her and continued talking with her for the duration of your walk. It was a long walk, and you got to know her better. Well, normal stuff about her and some embarrassing stuff about her master. It was strange to see the relationship between them. It was like they were best friends or siblings. You couldn't even imagine joking like that about Obi-Wan. Not because you didn't want to, but because you knew he probably wouldn't find it funny.
After some time, the four of you reached the part of the building where your rooms were. You said a quick goodbye to Ahsoka and her master, trying to ignore his stare that burned your skin. Was he judging you? But for what?
,,Master Skywalker seems nice`` You said when you and your master walked to your rooms. It was very close to where the other two Jedi were staying, so you were trying to sound as quiet as possible. Obi-Wan chuckled as he gave you the key to your own room.
,,First impressions can be tricky`` He said with a hint of laughter in his voice. You smirked and walked to your own room. After entering the spacious room, you locked the door behind you. Your body ached for hot water. It's been days since you had your own room. You and Obi-Wan were on a classified mission, which meant you had to stay low. You slept in your tiny spaceship, which soon felt like a prison. Now that the mission was over, you were allowed to stay in a nice hotel. Obi-Wan found out that Anakin and Ahsoka have been staying in this hotel for a couple of days now due to their own mission.
You quickly located the bathroom and then removed your clothes. The plan was to shower, call room service to order some food, and then sleep. You couldn't wait. Everything did go according to plan. The shower was amazing, and the food was even better. However, you were now lying in bed, unable to fall asleep. As soon as you closed your eyes, your mind was filled with stuff. You saw people hurting in war, the Jedi Council, the attractive Jedi master just a couple of rooms away, your family... It was just too much.
You groaned at the wall clock. It was past 3 am, which meant you had been trying to fall asleep for over two hours now. Defeated, you sat up, searching for your clothes. Instead, you grabbed your small bag and found your more sporty clothes. Black skin-tight pants and a small sporty top you wore whenever you were doing any physical activity. You knew this hotel had a gym, and you hoped you'd be able to go there even at this hour.
The halls were empty and eerie. It was very dark, but your well-trained eyes found their way to the distant gym. It felt like you were walking for hours, but finally you arrived. You opened the heavy door and walked in. Your heart skipped a beat when you were met with a shirtless Anakin working his upper body. Each muscle on his back fighting for you to notice it.
,,Also couldn't sleep?`` He said, and your heart skipped another beat. This time, it was because of embarrassment. You hoped he didn't notice how you were staring at him. The door closed behind you, and you almost jumped out of your skin. You really wanted to leave. Run even.
,,I-um... I will leave you alone`` You mumbled, turning on your heels to quickly get out of there. A deep chuckle stopped you.
,,Oh c`mon, the gym is big enough for both of us`` He said finally turning to face you. His forehead was sweaty, and you had to force your eyes to stay on his face. You gave him a quick smile before walking to the opposite side of the gym. He dried his hands as he watched you grab a long stick.
The reason you came here was to practice your lightsaber moves. You weren't scared of a lot of things, but you were scared of your skills failing you in a battle. So you made sure to work extra hard.
You took a deep breath and swung the long stick behind your back before bringing it back to your front. The movement was there, but the speed wasn't.
,,You're very stiff`` Anakin said, shamelessly watching you. Your cheeks grew red in embarrassment. You couldn't think of a worse situation you could possibly be in right now. You looked at him and then back at your hand. He waited patiently for you to try again, and so you did. Not doing anything different, really.
,,I can tell Obi-Wan is your master`` He said with a laugh as he walked to you ,,Here let me help you`` He didn't wait for you to say anything before grabbing your wrist gently. Your heart was beating fast, and you knew for sure he could hear it. Him standing so close to you while he was shirtless was making you absolutely crazy.
He helped your wrist move in a more natural way, making you swing faster. He helped you do it a couple of more times before taking a step back and giving you an assuring nod. You took a deep breath, and you swung the stick behind your back before bringing it to your front again, this time much quicker. A huge smile grew on your face as you looked at him.
,,Wouldn't have done it better myself`` He smiled at you with his perfect teeth, and you felt your knees wobble. You swung your wannabe saber again, expecting him to go back to his workout, but instead he walked in front of you, grabbing a stick of his own before walking further away from you. You watched him as he spun his stick.
,,Now show me how you fight`` He said with a smirk, and you quickly shook your head, panicking. He laughed at your terrified expression.
,,That's okay, really`` You almost whined.
,,Dont make me attack first`` He said with a cocky voice, and you tried to hush your inner voice that was screaming. There was nothing more you wanted than to disappear right now.
You took a deep breath and, for a moment, closed your eyes to try to ground yourself. It did absolutely nothing, so instead you spun the stick and, with a swift motion, tried to attack the lower part of his body. That's how you started, basically, every fight. You noticed that people were mostly vulnerable around their legs. But not him. With a single motion, he blocked your attack and, with a huge force, pushed you away from him by his stick. You were taken aback but couldn't think about it too much because his body was suddenly close to you again as he attacked you. You dodged him and basically switched sides with him. With no hesitation, he attacked you again, this time actually hitting you. You tried to attack his upper body now, but were once again pushed away from him. Anger and the need to do better started slowly filling your body.
,,Dont let the anger control you`` He said calmly as he stopped another one of your attacks. You took a deep breath.
,,You sound just like master Kenobi`` You said which made him laugh. ,,My biggest nightmare has became my reality`` He said, and out of nowhere, your stick was snatched from your hands. Confused, you looked at him, holding it.
,,C`mon take it``He said with another smirk on his face. You felt like a kid who got candy taken away from them. You pouted your lips.
,,I don't know how``You complained, and he pouted his lips back at you. You tried to quickly grab it, but his reflexes were much faster.
,,You have a great potential, but you need better training, better master`` He said now more serious, and you stood up a bit straighter.
,,Master Kenobi is a good-`` You started defending your master.
,,Right`` He cut you off before taking a step close to you, being just a few centimeters away from you. Both sticks landed on the floor next to you, long forgotten. His hand grabbed your chin and made you look up at him.
Suddenly, you broke the distance between the two of you and pressed your lips against his. You had to stand on your tiptoes, and his hands grabbed you by your arms to steady you. It was like you lost consciousness for a moment because, out of nowhere, it hit you—what you'd just done. You broke the Jedi code...with a Jedi master. This was over. Your mind was racing as you took a step back, breaking the kiss.
,,I-I am so sorry`` You panicked. You were screaming at yourself for being so stupid. For not being able to control yourself.
,,Are you now?``He said amused, enjoying the way you acted. He walked back to you, pushing the hair out of your face, while you nervously looked around the room.
,,Please it won't happen again. I promise`` You said super fast, you were almost unable to understand yourself. He chuckled before rolling his eyes at you.
,,And wouldn't that be a shame, hm?`` His hands cupped your cheeks, and he kissed you again. This time more harsh. It was like you were watching this from a third-person perspective, unable to do anything. Your hands were just resting in the air, and you slowly put them on his bare chest, his muscles tensing up at your touch. You let them travel on his stomach as he made out with you. His hand wrapped around your hair and painfully made you look up at him. You held back a moan.
,,Won't you look at that. Obi-Wan's apprentice is such a slut``He tugged on your hair again, this time drawing a moan out of your lips. His jaw clenched at that sound. He couldn't wait to hear more from you. So he let go of your hair and instead guided you by your hips to some sort of table that was probably used for exercising. When your ass hit the table, he helped you jump on it. You were now at his eye level, which meant you didn't have to arch your head so much. He forced himself in between your legs.
,,Breath for me, okay?`` He laughed while nodding his head at you, clearly making fun of you. You rolled your eyes at him, planning on responding to him, but him painfully grabbing you by your throat made you stay quiet. He was no longer smiling.
,,Dont- dont do that`` He said serious, and you gulped. He looked almost scary now.
,,Im sorry, sir`` You said quietly, and he slightly nodded, acknowledging your apology. His hands appeared on your thighs and then squeezed both of them. His eyes were studying your face while yours were trying to avoid his. His fingers hooked around your pants and tugged on them. With no resistance, you helped him remove them. At that time, you didn't notice he also removed your underwear, but when you did, your cheeks grew even more red.
,,Aw, look at you, pretty thing`` He tilted his head as his hands found their way back to your now exposed thighs. His hands were enormous compared to the rest of your body. The size difference was something you couldn't get past. With no warning, his thick finger traveled in between your wet folds to your clit. A moan got caught in your throat, and you bit your lower lip. He gently pushed on it before drawing small circles on it. You rolled your eyes inside your head before reaching for his lips. He moved his head further away from you, making you unable to kiss him. You whined in disagreement, and he chuckled before reaching to kiss you. His kisses were needy and sloppy. Something you've been craving for ages now. His fingers on your clit were making you a bigger and bigger mess with every passing second. You grabbed his strong arms for support. His finger then entered your needy hole, and you cried into his mouth. He didn't wait for anything and just started fingering you, curling his finger inside of you. Your breathing was becoming even more heavy than before. His finger felt great, but your body soon needed more, and he knew it. With his finger still deep inside of you, his other hand removed his loose pants, springing his hard cock out. His tip was dangerously red. He kissed you harder as he lined himself up with your entrance. With a quick motion, he pushed himself deep inside of you, making you cry out in pain. Your nails painfully dug into his skin, and your eyes were shut close. The pain creeped into every inch of your body, and you were unable to feel his light kisses on your neck. He cursed himself out for not being slower, but he needed you so bad. He needed to hear your pretty moans and feel you around his cock.
,,I know, baby, I know`` he whispered in between the kisses he was placing on your exposed neck. Occasionally he would suck on the soft skin, but never for too long, making sure he wouldn't leave a mark. When your fingers stopped ripping his skin, he knew the pain was slowly leaving. ,,That's it``He cooed at you, and you forced your eyes open to look at him. He was so attractive with his messy hair. You rolled your eyes again as he slowly moved inside of you. He was thick, stretching you out so nicely. One of his hands was holding your hip, and the other one was stroking your thigh. You let out a soft moan when the pain started to be overtaken by the pleasure. Once he heard that, he started moving faster. He still had to force himself to be gentle. If it were up to him, he would fuck your brain out right there. Your moans were now more frequent as the pleasure fully filled your body. You pushed your upper body down to the table so you could lay down, and he watched your face. His hands then reached to your top and pushed it up, freeing your boobs. He reached to suck on your nipple, making you arch your back. While his teeth were gently biting your nipple, his hands made your legs hug his hips. Like that, he could fuck deeper into you, making you an even bigger mess. He was now fucking into you with dangerous speed, making your body jump on the table. He let your nipples alone and instead watched as your chest moved with each thrust.
Your hand searched for something on the table you could grab but found nothing. When he noticed it, he grabbed your hand and let you squeeze him as hard as you needed. He was making sure the view he was seeing was engraved into his memory. His other hand found your clit and played with it, bringing even more pleasure now.
,,I-I Can't`` The pleasure was so overwhelming that you felt like you could pass out any second. Teasingly, he started to fuck you even faster and harder.
,,Yes, you can`` He said firmly, and you just whined. Your mind was unable to form a single thought, so you fully focused on all the feelings you felt. The slight pain from the way his cock was stretching you out, the aching pain in your arm from how hard you were squeezing him, and lastly, the creeping feeling deep inside your stomach. It was building up fast, and your moans took over. Anakin felt the way you started to squeeze around him more, you were close.
,,Are you going to be a good girl and cum on my cock?``He asked, and that pushed you over the edge. You painfully arched your back as a loud moan left your lips. The moan turned into a loud whining as your legs started to shake. The feeling was so intense, you thought someone punched the living hell out of you. Your walls painfully squeezed around his cock, making you even more tight. He let out a loud groan. He knew he should pull out. That he should cum on your stomach, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. Instead, he watched as his cock disappeared inside of you with each thrust, and then, with an even louder moan, came inside of you. His fingers were digging into your thighs before he slowly pulled out of you, making you whine. He then watched as his cum spilled out of your abused hole. After that, Anakin gave you a slight slap on your pussy, and you cried out before defensively closing your legs. He took a step back and put his pants back on. Shame entered your body as you quickly pulled down your top, searching for your underwear on the floor. He grabbed it and handed it to you. You quietly thanked him and jumped down from the table, almost falling due to your legs feeling like jello. You would definitely fall if he didn't grab you by your arm. Anakin watched as you put on your pants.
,,Dont shut down on me`` He said as he grabbed your face again, giving you a warm smile. You were looking up at him, trying to figure out what to do next. His lips gently kissed you before he took a step back to take a better look at you.
,,Please, you can't tell anyone`` You begged. He closed his eyes, disappointed with you.
,,I won't`` He said with almost no emotion, which brought a painful feeling to your stomach. You felt hurt, even though you were the one who brought it up. He walked to the gym door before opening it, waiting for you. You rushed to it and walked out. He turned the light off and closed the door behind him. You started walking before him, but he still caught up to you.
,,You need anything? Water, food...?`` He asked as he was looking at you. You wanted to scream that you needed his touch again, but instead you said you were okay, and he just took a deep breath. The rest of the walk was quiet and almost awkward. When you reached your room, you quickly opened the door and almost jumped into it, but his hand on your arm stopped you from doing so.
,,I can stay with you, if you want`` He said with a gentle voice.
,,That's okay, thank you`` You said as you screamed at yourself to just say yes. He tilted his head.
,,Y/n``He almost whispered, and you took a deep breath while opening the room door more. He walked in, and you closed the door behind him. You walked next to him to your bedroom, where you took your sleeping clothes from the floor. He watched as you walked to the bathroom to change. When you came back, already in your sleeping clothes, he was sitting down on your bed in just his underwear. You tried to ignore his body and instead walked to your side of the bed and got into it. He did the same and quickly pulled your body to his, so you were lying on his chest. He played with your hair, making you close your eyes in pleasure. He then kissed the top of your head as his fingers left your hair and instead focused on caressing your arm.
Anakin was used to not being able to sleep. He only slept for a couple of hours a day, so he was surprised when he felt the sleepiness trying to get him. He happily gave in, and soon his eyes were closed, and his breathing synced with yours.
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RESTLESS NIGHTS •°. *࿐
PAIRINGS— paul atreides x valkyrie!reader
SUMMARY—from a young age you’ve been paul atreides’ personal apprentice, your duty being to remain professional in protecting the life of the heir to the house of atreides. however, things change after a rainy night of comforting paul after he awakens from one of his terrible visions.
NOTE—this is my first time writing and publishing anything like this for a character, but after seeing dune two i just had to. expect more creations from me in the future. Constructive criticism is welcome, just keep it nice and kind. let me know how i did!
word count: 1.2k
Valkyries are very protective beings. In battle, their ultimate purpose is to carry the fallen warriors that perished in combat, and were worthy of eternal paradise, to Valhalla where their souls would reside in blissful harmony. However, there wasn’t just one type of valkyrie. A heroine valkyrie is what you were — the kind that only guarded the lives of those dearest to them. Your dearest was no one, but the son of the duke of atreides.
When you were first assigned to the house of atreides you just barely reached the ripe age of seven years old. In those times, your duty merely consisted of being the only company around his age the young boy had in his life. Innocent soft exchanges of giggles escaped from dimpled cheeks that ached from continuous smiles. Small pieces of grass littered the wild heads of curly hair the two of you possessed from previously rolling in the freshly cut grass the maintenance keepers recently trimmed. Within years, the grass turned to responsibilities, and the dimples into abstract bruises from the numerous sparing lessons shared between the two of you. Thus, your years of childish assignments were gone.
Now, you reside in the chambers next door to the young heir in case of any and all emergencies. You lie awake in your pristine silk sheets staring at the ceiling. The thunderous Caladan rain pelted down onto glass windows surrounding you, keeping you awake. This was your first night back from your annual trip to the emperor's headquarters where your sisters remain. No other planets you’ve ever visited didn’t have rain as loud as Caladan’s.
A loud groan breaks the song of raindrops singing along the windows.
You bolt out of bed and grab a dagger with the valkyries signature emblem on the hilt. Your hands turn white in contrast to your usual brown skin from how tight you hold it. Raising to the balls of your feet to remain as silent as possible, you trudge over to the door, leaving the comfort of your room. The marble flooring in the hallway tickles the bottom of your feet, but you barely notice due to your desperation to find the source the sound came from.
More thunder cracks. Another groan.
Your head sharply turns to the left toward Paul's room. Your body turns rigid.
Oh no.
Sprinting, you throw open his mahogany dark wood door making it slam into the back wall. There in rumpled sheets lies the source. His limbs are tangled in his blanket as he thrashes around in his bed, his face scrunched up in an expression of pure anguish. Wild brown curls surround him like a halo while the moonlight shines on his pale skin. He looks like an angel. A fallen angel.
“Paul,” you mumbled, letting your dagger slip from your hands.
He stirs in his sheets, letting out another low groan.
Rushing to the side of his bed, you dropped to your knees and cradle his face scanning the rest of body. Just in case.
“Paul!” you repeated.
He bolts up abruptly making your hands fall onto the bed. He’s panting as he looks around frantically before resting his eyes on you. His expression softens.
“Y/n?” His voice is raspier than normal due to the hours of restless sleep.
“It's okay, it’s okay,” you cooed. Your face filled with concern as you brush some of his wild hair out of his face. “I’m here.”
He sighs out the majority of the tension built up, rubbing his face from sleep with his trembling hands.
“More visions?” Your voice is so soft it tickles his ears creating a blanket of comfort. He doesn’t understand how a strong warrior could possess such a comforting voice, but that's one of the reasons he liked you so much. You never failed to make his worries disappear — not with a voice like that.
He only nods.
“Want to talk about it?” You rise from your spot on the floor to sit on the side of his bed making you at eye level and in closer proximity to the stressed boy. His eyes are slightly glossed over, and he’s avoiding eye contact as if he’s embarrassed.
“No,” he looks down in his lap before locking eyes with you, “I thought you were on your trip?”
You shake your head, “I came home early.”
Home. You saying it so casually almost makes Paul visibly melt.
“I missed you,” he whispers. His words hang in the air like a forbidden secret. Well, it was forbidden seeing as the relationship between the two of you was meant to be strictly professional. However, you two managed to lay on the thin layer of gray area in the matter.
You could only bashfully turn your head away towards the window. You hated how he’d say things like that in random moments. More so, you hated how much your cheeks would turn warm and your lips would scrunch to the corner of your face showcasing a deep dimple in the apple of your cheeks. The rain was still coming down harder without any plans to stop for the night.
The boy grabs your chin with his pointer finger and thumb and redirects your attention to his face. You could only look down at your lap before eventually looking into his eyes.
Desire. Burning desire is what his eyes scream as he looks at you.
You escape his hands and rise to leave a painfully lingering kiss on his forehead.
“Get some rest, Mr. Atreides.” You say, slightly teasing as you move to get off the bed. However, he reaches for your hand stopping your movements.
“Stay,” he pleads with desperation laced in his tone.
You hesitate.
“Please, Y/n, I need you.” His eyes are low and bright from the moonlight still coating the inside of his room. His blanket lies low on his waist hiding his boxers, and showcasing his chest of lean and faint abs from his weeks of training. He looked so…
“Fine,” the words slip from your mouth before you realize. Before you know it, he’s scooting over and raising the covers to allow you to easily slip into his sheets. They’re warm from his body heat making you release a sigh of breath you didn’t know you were holding.
He looks at your chest before shyly looking you in the eyes, “Can I-”
You tiredly nod your head and open your arms out welcomingly. The boy immediately goes to rest his head on your chest, wrapping his arms around your waist and tangling his legs with yours. This position feels completely natural and comforting from numerous other nights just like this one in the past. Your hands go to his curls and start massaging his head.
“Thank you,” he rasps out, barely staying awake, “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“Always,” you started, “I’ll always be here.”
You look down to find that the tired boy has already fallen asleep. With a small smile on your face you look up at the ceiling as more lighting cracks outside. You close your eyes assuming he missed your words.
He heard them. He always does.
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