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vodika-vibes · 8 months

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The Daimyo's Cyare

Summary: You get to spend some time with your favorite person in the galaxy.

Pairing: Daimyo! Boba Fett x Reader

Word Count: 1356

Warnings: Tongue in cheek teasing, there is an age gap, but Boba is only 41, and the reader is, at the youngest, 30.

Songs: None

Prompt: N/A

A/N: This is my first time writing Boba, so I'm a little unsure about it. But I think I'm happy with it? Also, 3 stories in one day! I love DND Sundays~

Divider by Saradika

When you ran away from home at 20 years old, you kind of expected your story to have a bad ending. But you ran anyway. At the time, it was the only option you had. At least, it felt like it.

Your parents always expected too much from you. “You can do better” and “you’re smarter than this”, are mantras from your childhood, said daily by your parents, sometimes even hourly.

Your parents had ambitions for you. In their mind you were going to be a doctor or a lawyer or an Imperial Officer. And they pushed, pushed, pushed…until you couldn’t take it anymore.

You ran until no one knew your family name, and then you shed their name like a second skin, and you kept running.

Eventually you found yourself on a Cruise Liner. Playing bartender to the rich and famous. People who don’t care who you were, so long as you continue to ply them with copious amounts of alcohol. While living on the cruise liner, which you did for well over ten years, you created yourself a dozen different times, until you became the person you are now.

You left the cruise liner when the Empire fell, and you found yourself on Tatooine, still as a bartender, only instead of serving drunk rich people, you were serving drunk bottom feeders.

The only real difference being the amount of credits you make in tips.

That was where you met Boba Fett for the first time.

The first time he came into your bar, he was clad in his armor, and was dripping malice. You mentally prepared yourself for a fight, and having to clean blood off the floor, but that’s not what happened.

Instead he walked over to you, and sat at the bar and ordered a drink that you hadn’t made since your time on the Cruise Liner.

You weren’t going to make it for him, originally. It’s an expensive drink, made with expensive drinks, but he swore that he could pay for it. And you decided to take him at his word.

He watched you make his drink with an intensity that made you feel like you were being interviewed. And when you finished, he pinned you in place with a stare you could feel, more than see. And then he set a handful of credits on the counter, and offered you a job.

And, well, your mama didn’t raise a fool, so you accepted the job.

That had been a year ago, and you’ve never been happier. Never felt safer. You’re happy enough, in fact, that you’ve started considering reaching out to your family to let them know you’re alive.

“Credit for your thoughts?” You don’t even start when a calloused hand slides around your hips, instead you turn your head slightly and you smile up at Boba.

“Just remembering.” You reply lightly as you turn against him.

“Remembering what?” He asks as he adjusts his grip.

“How I ended up here.”

“Here on Tatooine, or here in my arms?” Boba teases gently, “Because those are different stories.”

“Hm. Both.” You beam at him and slide your hands up the worn material of his shirt, “Have I ever thanked you for getting me out of that dive?”

“You have, repeatedly. But you can always thank me again.”

You stand on your toes and kiss the corner of his lips, “Hm. Maybe later.” You slide your hands across his broad chest again, “No armor today, love?”

“I’m on vacation.”

You nod thoughtfully, “Fennec kicked you out of the throne room, didn’t she?”

He huffed out an amused laugh, “Maybe I should name her Daimyo, and retire somewhere.”

You laugh quietly, “Oh, love. There are less painful ways to die, you know.”

You feel him chuckle, and you look up as he bumps his forehead against yours, “I suppose you have a point.” His calloused fingers drag against the thin material of your shirt, “Did you sleep well, cyare?”

“Well, my pillow seems to have abandoned me early this morning,” You say with a playful pout, “You wouldn’t know anything about that, would you Boba?”

“Hm. Sounds like we should invest in a proper pillow for you,” He replies blandly. “And then I won’t wake you up when I get out of bed.”

You drape your arms over his shoulder, “Oh, but I love my pillow. Even if you get up far too early.”

“You could always wake up with me.”

“Ew. Mornings.” You scrunch up your nose, and Boba laughs.

“Well then, you’ll just have to suffer without a pillow then, I’m afraid.”

You pout and lean against him, burying your face against him. “You could always not wake up early. That’s an option too.”

He drags his fingers up your spine and you shiver against him, “That’s not an option, and we both know it.” His fingers stop at your neck, and he lightly rubs small circles against the skin there, “So. You want to tell me what’s bothering you?”

“Nothing?”

“You had that look on your face, cyar’ika.” Boba replies, “The one that screams that somethings bothering you and you aren’t sure what to do about it.”

“...I have a look?”

“You have a look.” He agrees.

“...I’m thinking about my parents,” You admit with a sigh, “I haven’t spoken to them since I was 18. They probably think I’m dead.”

He hums thoughtfully, “You don’t talk about them much, cyar’ika.”

You curl your fingers in his shirt, “Because I know you, Boba Fett. You’ll get all grumbly and protective.”

He raises a single brow, “Did they mistreat you?”

“My anxiety is a direct result of them.” You say with a shrug, and you smile ruefully when his grip around you tightens. Boba’s helped you through more than one anxiety attack. “They were just…they expected so much from me. Perfection was the expectation, and anything less than perfect was grounds for yelling and ridicule.”

“So that’s also where your perfectionist tendencies come from,” Boba notes mildly.

“I’m not a perfectionist!” You counter as you lean back slightly.

“You once polished my armor after I did because I didn’t do it well enough.”

Your face flames bright red, and you press your face back against his chest, “I thought we were never going to mention that again.”

“I promised not to mention it in front of other people,” Boba corrects with a laugh in his voice, “It’s just us in here.”

You huff out a breath and press your still flaming face against his chest. “Anyway,” You mumble against his chest, “They’d probably be so disappointed in me. Bartender my entire life. Never amounted to anything-”

“Hey,” He grips your shoulders and shakes you gently, “You managed to get through the Empire without getting conscripted into the Imperial Army, and you managed to live well on the Cruise Liner. Not to mention you work directly under the Daimyo of Tatooine.”

You muffle a laugh.

“That’s not remotely what I meant, cyare, and you know it.” He sounds amused though, “You were my personal chef for a year.”

“Yeah. I was a terrible cook.”

“The worst.” Boba agrees, “But how could I fire you when you were trying so hard. Plus, I liked looking at you, even then.”

You smile up at him, “That’ll be a fun letter. ‘Dear mom and dad, I’m the official eye candy for the Daimyo of Tatooine, are you proud of me yet?’”

“You’re a little more than just eye candy, cyare.”

You look up at him, a would be innocent expression on your face, “I know. I work directly under you, remember?”

He huffs out an amused noise, “You’re going to be working directly under me if you don’t watch your tongue.”

You grin at him impishly, “My tongue isn't long enough to watch, though Boba.”

His fingers twitch on your hips, and he returns your impish look with his own steady gaze. “You’re going to get yourself in trouble, cyar’ika.”

“Promise?” You ask with a grin.

His grin becomes sharp, and you squeal when he scoops you into his arms, “Oh, cyar’ika. It’s a guarantee.”

#star wars #tbobf #Boba Fett x Reader #Boba x reader #star wars fanfiction #x reader fanfiction

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sapphic-agent · 17 days

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I will say confidently that MHA has done this. It has given me a lot of ideas for my own story. It also has a lot of inspo from Avatar: The Last Airbender as well, but it's still it's own thing. I will say, as a treat. Here's a Momo rewrite!

Momo, as said before, grew up with rich parents. I'd also like to believe for this rewrite she has like older siblings. For the reason why Momo feels so inadequate is because her classmates have so much going for them, her siblings are so much smarter and wiser than her, and her parents aren't... around that much. She doesn't feel good enough, and she just wants to show that SHE can be that good enough.

I'd say she'd still have that same fight thing with Shoto and Aizawa, some things tweaked here and there but still the same. As the show goes on, I feel like it would be interesting to show a different side of the field when it comes to how quirk society treats certain people. Momo is up on the ladder. Very wealthy. Her parents have extreme expectations for her, and she has to be perfect. Grades, social life, clothing, etc. She gets compared a lot to Shoto and her siblings, which can be apart of her arc and why it affects her so much. Also a reflection of Japanese society of always having women to be perfect, prim, and even her parents basically forcing her to be like a perfect housewife for her next "husband." But Momo doesn't wanna marry or fall in love with WHO her parents want her to be. Maybe she realizes during school she's a lesbian or bisexual or w/e sexuality. She is not quite as knowledge, but very open to learning. She and Jirou get close, and meets her family. Her family is so kind and supportive, and what a family should be. She feels conflicted. For Shoto parallels, Shoto comes from a well off home, but a not so good family life. Even throw a parallel to Toga who went through the same thing. Ochako also grew up dirt poor, but has loving parents. Momo learns about a loving family IS, and I feel she would try to reconnect with some of her adult siblings, and it goes well. Rocky, but well. Shoto getting the courage to stand up to his own dad. It makes Momo think, Momo's parents in this, aren't as accepting of the LGBTQ+ , but are quiet about their judgements. Momo and Jirou's romance is a slowburn mainly because MHA takes place within one year. But, tbh, in my rewrite of MHA the final battle with Shigaraki is when all of Class 1A are like in their 4th year of school. By then, Momo and Jirou are dating. But if we're sticking to the canon timeline, there's hints of it. But Momo stands up to her parents about this and doesn't take their shit anymore. She's her own person. She's her own hero. I'd also like to imagine Momo also becomes a foil to Toga. Because in this rewrite, they have quite a lot in common, and is also present in the whole Toga V. Ochako show down. She would become a part of the Dekusquad, and be like a 2nd defacto leader. Also, in this rewrite, Midoriya, Iida, Ochako, Tsuyu, and Momo go to Shoto's house, and not just Bakugo and Midoriya. Momo is very confident and becomes a great leader, and hero. Lemme know what you think!

Weird way of proposing, Anon, but I DO.

This is all I've ever wanted for Momo. Substance, drive, ambition, ALL OF IT IS SO PERFECT. And it also feels very true to her character. So many Momo rewrites make her entirely different (seriously, when people make her cold and snobby it really turns me off because a big part of Momo's character is that despite being rich she has a generous and kind heart), this one takes what's good about Momo's canon characters and enhances it. Horikoshi wishes he could write women half as well as you.

Please keep cooking🔥 If you ever make a fic I'll be the first one to read it

#momo yaoyorozu #pro momo yaoyorozu #momo yaoyorozu deserves better #anon ask #mha rewrite #mha critical #bnha critical

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leezlelatch · 1 year

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Copia x Female Reader: A Conversation with Papa Emeritus Terzo

After the latch on the door clicks, Terzo drops heavily in the seat before Copia's desk. He moves to wearily scrub a hand down his face before remembering his papal paint with a quiet, "Ah," and a frustrated wave. The current reigning Papa, dressed opulently in his robes of purple and gold, looks very much his age as he sits bone-weary in the leather chair that appears to swallow him.

"That was unnecessary, you know?" Copia says, sitting down in his own chair behind his desk as he eyes Terzo warily. It is not uncommon to find his old friend in such a mood.

"Yes, yes, I know," Terzo sighs. "I apologize, Cardinale, but my flock expect it, do they not? Papa, the womanizer? Papa, the tease?"

Copia steeples his hands on the desktop, already shaking his head, "She does not."

Terzo merely scoffs, and the two men fall into silence. There is hardly a soul who knows the real Papa Emeritus Terzo. There is hardly a soul who remembers his actual name. It was a defense mechanism, in the beginning. Growing up an Emeritus, there is expectation, constant plotting, and just not being goddamn good enough. When you hate everything and everyone around you, be bolder, louder, encourage their ire, prove to them that you are the disappointment they think you are.

Until that is all you are.

"It's getting bad again, isn't it?" Copia asks gently. "You know you can talk-."

"I am fine, amico mio," Terzo said, staring blankly at his hands. "I am always fine. I am Papa."

"You don't have to pretend here," Copia sighs.

"And if I do not? What will they do? They already took the Ghost Project from me, perhaps it will be the papacy next. A fitting end to il fottuto terzo. And isn't that all I am good for?"

"You know I did not have a choice."

"Yes, but you wanted it. You cannot deny that Copia, I know you. You have ambition, and I cannot fault you that," Terzo's voice trails off as the two men stare at each other before he quietly adds, "And I do not blame you."

"You mean so much to this congregation than you think, caro amico." Copia says softly.

Terzo huffs a laugh, then sighs, "Perhaps I should listen to you more often, huh? You are smarter than me."

"Terzo-"

"No, no, I joke." Terzo waves his hands dismissively. "You tell me about your bella ragazza! I truly did not mean to interrupt il mio cardinale getting some action." He wiggles his eyebrows.

Copia's cheeks instantly erupt in a blush, his hands pulling his biretta off his head to nervously twist at the edges. His mouth opens, then closes, and then opens again to emit an anxious twitter.

"Copia, you sound like a car trying to start," Terzo laughs.

"She is," Copia swallows. "Very special to me."

"Uh-huh...?"

"We are friends."

Terzo leans back in his chair and rolls his eyes, "Friends do not almost kiss. Do I need to demonstrate? Show her how it is done?"

Copia's palm slams down on the wood of his desk, his eyes wide as he stares at the antipope before him, "You will do no such thing. You...you...le labbra del mio amato non sono le tue!"

"And they are yours? 'Friends' do not say such things, Cardinal."

Copia sighs and drops his head into his hands, breathing deeply a few moments before peeking at his friend through his fingers.

"I love her. I am in love with her. Oh, Papa...I am so in love with her," Copia raises his hands and they are shaking. "What do I do?"

"You tell her," Terzo says.

"It is not so simple!"

"Yes, it is."

Copia groans and lays his forehead on his desk, closing his eyes tightly. It isn't easy. You have so quickly become the only thing in his world that he so achingly yearns for. You are so important. He thinks about you before bed, and when he wakes. He thinks about what sweet would make your eyes light up, or what book he could read aloud to you during a quiet evening in the library. He thinks of you smiling at him, a secret one just for him, that makes him feel like he could be just as important.

You have consumed him.

"I can't mess this up," he whispers. "Losing her would destroy me, Terzo."

"Why do you think telling her would make you lose her?" Terzo asks, genuinely confused.

"Because!" Copia sits up, his eyes a little wild. "Look at me. Sono un vecchio patetico. Every time she walks into this office, I am...I am astounded that she wishes to spend time with me. That is all I can ask for."

Terzo leans forward, reaching across the desk to grab his friend's worried hands.

"You need to give her that choice, Copia. Do not take that from her, or you really will lose her."

Copia closes his eyes as they begin to shine with emotion, letting out a sigh that seems to come from deep within his bones. Could his heart break before it has a chance to be rejected? But Terzo is right. You sat on this very desk merely an hour before, gazing at him with what his foolish heart could only assume was affection. Your lips had nearly touched before Papa's unexpected arrival, and what after? He shivers remembering the way your body felt so close to his. Would you have...? Do you want him as desperately as he wants you?

"Maybe...I could use your advice, Papa. How do you tell a woman that she is your everything? The light of your life?"

Terzo makes a face, mumbling something about 'dramatic cardinals' before saying, "How about you ask her on a date first, si?"

#the band ghost #cardinal copia #papa emeritus iv #terzo emeritus #papa emeritus iii #cardinal copia x reader #papa emeritus iv x reader #cardinal copia x female reader #papa iv x female reader #female reader #reader insert #the band ghost fanfiction #slightly suggestive if you squint #leezlelatch #copia #copia headcanon #copia fanfiction #cardinal copia headcanons #poorly translated italian

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overandundertarot · 1 year

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Exam Period Tarot Reading

How's your exam period going to go? Lets take a look.

Pick a picture(1-4)

Pile 1

This exam period won't be as successful as you expect it to be. Regardless, by the time its over you'll be rejoicing and ready to crashland on your bed. At the beginning of this exam period/semester you may have had a lot of hope and ambition to give your 100% and receive your rewards in full, but it proved too much for you. You might not have reached the goal you had in mind, but you still did really well for yourself and should be very proud!!

Pile 2

Pile 2 are you intimidated by your course/ subject of study? You're giving off very timid energy. You might be looking for some help and are scared to reach out; just do it. It seems that everyone is busy right now and you fear no one has time available for you, or you are the one who is helping everyone else without having taken time to prepare yourself. Either way; the message for you is to keep trying and take a strategic approach; work smarter not harder. Something may happen this exam period that you perceive to be out of your control. Something that may make you say "Just my luck," or "Why does this keep happening to me." Be aware of being naive concerning other peoples motives; just because you wouldn't doesnt mean that someone else won't as well. Be careful of exam malparactice, it will backfire for you.

Pile 3

Pile 3 you're tiiiiiiirrrreeeeddddd. This exam period/semester has absolutely drained you. You may be wondering what it's all for; if it's really worth it. It seems that you're quite burnt out and even depressed. School has taken a huge toll on your mental health and this exam period just adds on to that. It may be the straw that breaks the camels back. Try to reach out and get help if you can; talk to your friends/therapist. It seems like the general advice of taking short breaks/taking careof yourself is not enough to solve this. Strong message is to seek help while you still can to make it easier/better for your future self.

Pile 4

Are you planning to cheat during your exams, pile 4? 👀 You're super smart, but this might make you lazy about the exam preparations. Honestly your mind is elsewhere, you may be trying to gain a leadership position in school . You are abusing your power in some way though and the funny thing is that it's completely unecessary. Are you trying to prove a point to someone? You could be acheiving whatever it is that you want to achive without going so far, but it gives you self satisfaction to have this control. Ease up and separate yourself from the situation. You may acting without really knowing why you do the things you are doing. I'm sensing that you are quite closed off as well. The origin of all this is not related to school; it only got tangled up in this along the way but became an important part. The message is to start working through your trauma/ emotions/ needs. There's something in the shadows you're trying to suppress. Working through this will bring you so much satisfaction and peace.

Thanks for participating in my pick a card reading! If you would like to book a private reading with me; you can do so here.

*The pictures are not mine, I found them on pinterest.

#overandundertarot #pick a card #tarot #pick a pile #divination #intuitive reading #tarot pick a card #pac #pick a picture #free tarot readings #tarotblr #tarotcommunity #tarot cards #pick a card reading

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fluffyprettykitty · 2 years

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Diplomatic

Pairing: Yelena Belova x wife spy reader

Word Count: 1520 words

Outline: After a mission gone wrong where you end up captured by the authorities, your wife - notorious vigilante, Yelena comes and rescues you.

Warnings: mild canon-type violence, weapons, implied smut.

Author’s Note: Based on a request here. Nothing in this fic is accurate, don't take this as a European guide, mostly based on my vast acknowledgment of a map.

P.S: dividers by @firefly-graphics // banners by @maysdigitalarts

Main Masterlist ・❥・Yelena Belova Masterlist

It was a beautiful morning the day you got married to Yelena, in an off-shore white chapel surrounded by seagulls and sea waves. It was beautiful and enthralling to finally hold the woman of your dreams and walk with her on the path of life, exchanging vows of eternal love. Your life was just as hectic as hers or even more so. You had long been a spy, trained from your youth to serve your country so naturally, you had met Yelena, the short blonde woman full of ambition and sarcasm at an open field while she was trying to outwit you. In the end, you won, and together you made a perfect team.

Yelena pulled you away from the spy life and into the magnificent world of a freelance vigilante. After this, you both started working together, doing the good old shooting, maiming, and battling together and soon your feelings for one another came to light. With a sealed kiss one night on a forgotten beach, you became one and thus inseparable.

Notoriously, the pair of you had become quite well known amongst the circles of assassins and vigilantes across Europe and all of the world. There wasn’t a single authoritative place where your pictures weren’t up with big red signs saying ‘Dangerous, proceed with caution.’ There was a hefty bounty for whoever could get information on you but you were both much smarter than that.

Sometimes you liked showing up just to lead people into a merry chase and forcing them to waste their resources like this. Yelena and you did share the same sense of humor. And tricking people was always funny and just. Wasn’t really your fault if people were gullible like that.

Now it has been five months since your honeymoon ended and you were both on different missions across Europe. Not something that you did often but you did always choose places that were close enough to one another. Often you took hits from the dark internet, assassinating rapists and pedophiles.

As for this particular mission, you were in the northern part of Croatia while Yelena was in the mountainside of Italy. Your mission was supposed to be easy. Take one piece of antique jewelry that carries hidden instructions for a new chemical solution. It should have been easy, it should have been a break-in and take kind of thing but nothing seemed to be working for you that day. From the moment when you woke up, on the wrong train you took to the weirdest old factory you had ever come across.

Once inside, you make your moves slowly, descending from the outer metal ladder down to the basement, that’s where your intel showed you where the piece of jewelry was. Long forgotten and well hidden. But what you didn’t expect was the gas that started fuelling the room the minute your combat boots hit the concrete ground.

Quickly you pulled up your mask, trying to secure your face and not inhale anything but the gas was new secret technology. One millisecond, one inhale and you were out. You passed out with your hand on the necklace without even realizing what happened.

A couple of hours later you woke up, securely tied to a chair, and a pair of powerful metal handcuffs on your wrists. Two people dressed in black tactical gear were staring at you, each carrying many weapons and knives. The room was small and there were blinds on the window next to you. Looks like an interrogation room of sorts.

“Welcome to Interpol.” The sound of a man followed by a door closing behind jolted you awake and you tilt your head to look at him.

“That doesn’t look very welcoming.” You crack out a joke shaking the heavy handcuffs and trying to move your cuffed legs.

“Is the best I can do under these circumstances.”

“What kind of circumstances, officer? If you are an officer.”

“For you, I can be.”

“Very well.”

“The ones where you are a very dangerous criminal that I refuse to allow to escape.”

“I can assure you I would never do that.”

“If only I could trust you.”

You chuckle and wink at him, sitting back in your chair.

“Am I allowed a lawyer?”

“One will be provided as the law states.”

“Cool, hope they are good.”

“For your sake, I would hope so too. “

You stifle back into your chair, and very soon the person you had been waiting for arrives, introduces herself to you, and settles down. After the lawyer has arrived you remain silent as per her instructions and the officer tries to reach some sort of deal for you. What they are more interested in is where Yelena is and where you keep all the money. Pretty typical stuff but nothing scares you. You have all done this before, on both sides of the law.

Next up is traveling you from Croatia all the way to Luxemburg, to the Court of Justice. There were heavy chains on your arms and your legs, the lawyer sitting next to you, and five soldiers armed to the brink with heavy weapons securing you.

But it came as no surprise to you when you heard the familiar sound of car tires stopping. Followed by one loud thump and the beginning of the overturning of the army truck. The truck stopped as the soldiers got prepared for the impact and the intrusion. Secure in your position and with a slight smirk on the curls of your lips you sit there in anticipation knowing what will come next. She truly couldn’t stay away from you for a long time.

Yelena’s favorite toy. A bazooka, one shot, and a hole were now evident at the back doors of the truck. The soldiers immediately get in position sealing you with their bodies but you stay still as you watch one after the other fall to the ground. Followed by the lawyer, two can play the game. Yelena had used the same exact gas that they had caught you with. You knew very well she had made sure how it would be. Yelena hated being outwitted by anyone.

You watch her as she secures the bazooka on her back and struts towards it with the confidence of a woman who just messed up the whole world. In her gloved hands, she is holding the necklace you were after, shaking it gloating for you.

“Sorry for being so late, I had another tiny job to do first.” You roll your eyes and sigh.

“A little help if your majesty wouldn’t mind.” You tell her pointing at the chains with your eyes and she chuckles putting the necklace in the pockets of her gear.

“A little demanding aren’t we?” She tilted her head. ”Maybe I like seeing you all tied up. Ever thought of that?”

“Maybe that’s precisely what I have been thinking and I wish the current situation was much different.”

“Alright, very very cool.” She nods positively as she comes closer to you and with a laser knife starts cutting off the chains.

“Be careful, it might sting a little.”

“I know you’d never hurt me on purpose.”

“Aw, sentimental, aren’t we?”

“Just a little bit.”

With a thud, the chains drop to the ground and Yelena helps you off your seat. She quickly checks in to ensure there are no bugs or other secret weapons on you and then leads you to her motorcycle.

The truth is you both were prepared for something like this, you had bought a cabin in an obscure Lithuanian small town a couple of months back where you had a large sum of the money you both had acquired during your vigilante work. You knew where she was taking you and you knew the trip would be relatively long. She secures the helmet on your head kissing your lips as she does so, the seal of a promise made long ago. She turns around and revs up the engine. It would be a long day and an even longer night.

By the time you arrived in Lithuania, it was well past midnight and you were both tired and hungry. But you had each other and that’s all you cared about. Sleepily Yelena tapped at your shoulder while you were parking the motorcycle. The cabin was small and had only necessities but you could never need anything more than each other. You give her a sheepish kiss on her cheek and then go to the kitchen searching for some food.

Then Yelena is taking a shower while you are cooking spaghetti on the pot and the night seems still, domestic, like a normal life for a change. It doesn’t take you too long to settle in this domestic bliss, cooking, cleaning, and sleeping together. Watching tv shows and complaining about the smallest things. There is plenty of money around and even though you have everything under surveillance, it doesn’t take too much for the thrill of adventure to overwhelm you both once again.

After all what was life if not one big game?

If you want to be notified about my future stories please follow my library blog @fluffyprettykittylibrary and turn on notifications! requests are open!

#selenewrites #yelena belova #yelena belova x reader #yelena belova x you #yelena belova x female reader #yelena belova angst #yelena x reader #yelena x you #yelena belova fanfiction #yelena imagine #black widow #hawkeye 2021 #marvel x reader #yelena belova fic #yelena belova imagine

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horizon-verizon · 1 year

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Alicent’s Politicking

There is a current argument (or rather "emphasis") that Book!Rhaenyra did a very stupid thing to have illegitimate children and make it easier for her enemies (in general) to use it as pretext for attacking her or usurping her.

Aside from how her extramarital sex and birthing her sons is actually not that much a political worry as we think by historical precedents, I refuse to leave Alicent behind in "politically or logically stupid moves" argument. Because that's the other thing: no one green considers how deeply Book!Alicent fucked up and was both politically stupid as well as morally.

She antagonizes Rhaenyra since the latter was 10. There was public notice of their enmity many times, even enough for Essosi travelers to take notice of it in one of the tourneys. If Alicent was smarter, she would not have made her hatred of Rhaenyra so obvious.

Her teaching her kids to see Rhaenyra as lesser or just a enemies was also dumb since Alicent doesn't really know what she or her husband (before and after Laenor, if Daemon hadn't been available) would have done to her or her kids before Viserys died to secure Rhaenyra's claim. Or afterwards when Rhaenyra took King's Landing. He/they could have been a lot crueler to Alicent than Rhaenyra was (Quote below).

Alicent seriously miscalculated how many supporters Rhaenyra would have.

Why? Alicent is going against the word of a King/the monarch and she acts as if the oaths that these people took have 0 value or were not enough for the to support Rhaenyra. Not only is this self contradictory (oath-taking is a matter of ideological, chivalric honor and are supposed to be about the privilege of nobles and men....make it make sense), it seems she hadn't expected them to believe the blend of feudalxabsolute monarchy and a King's word to matter...then why should her own son, Aegon's words matter? Of course Daeron (Hugh and Ulf), Jaehaera (Unwin Peake), and Aegon (his poisoning and the Shepherd) were all killed/not taken seriously. All the Greens' supporters were either already in line with them for their own self-serving ambitions or were forced to (Maidenpool).

Rhaenyra had the Velayrons at her side, so she had way more dragons than the greens did, and Helaena wasn't thought as a serious fighter. I don't think that Alicent really thought that Aegon would even have to ride his dragon or be willing to, to defeat Rhaenyra and put himself in harm's way. Therefore, she also puts her kids in harm's way through her ignorance and miscalculations.

Fearing for her sons, Queen Alicent went to the Iron Throne upon her knees, to plead for peace. This time the Queen in Chains put forth the notion that the realm might be divided; Rhaenyra would keep King’s Landing and the crownlands, the North, the Vale of Arryn, all the lands watered by the Trident, and the isles. To Aegon II would go the stormlands, the westerlands, and the Reach, to be ruled from Oldtown.

Rhaenyra rejected her stepmother’s proposal with scorn. “Your sons might have had places of honor at my court if they had kept faith,” Her Grace declared, “but they sought to rob me of my birthright, and the blood of my sweet sons is on their hands.”

"Bastard blood, shed at war,” Alicent replied. “My son’s sons were innocent boys, cruelly murdered. How many more must die to slake your thirst for vengeance?”

The Dowager Queen’s words only fanned the fire of Rhaenyra’s wroth. “I will hear no more lies,” she warned. “Speak again of bastardy, and I will have your tongue out.” Or so the tale is told by Septon Eustace. Munkun says the same in his True Telling.

(Fire and Blood; Rhaenyra Triumphant)

As if Alicent wasn't the one who began all this conflict by teaching her kids to hate Rhaenyra/her sons AND was not the one to want Lucerys' eye for Aemond's, to which Rhaenyra was responding with accusation of treason.

Rhaenyra's dismissal of Alicent makes it very clear the great and stupid risk Alicent took based on her pride, miscalculations, and zealotry. It got her screaming into the night, alone, and isolated, hating the color green forevermore and all her kids dead through terrible means, all her boys dead with ideas of their own privilege and grandeur.

EDIT #1:

Refer to @the-king-andthe-lionheart‘s reblogs below for expansion.

EDIT #2:

I wrote a post back in Dec '22 about how Alicent and Otto and all green stans are wrong about Alicent being "right" about the lords, how they came to that conclusion, and Alicent's characterization/prejudice HERE.

EDIT #3:

Why....why, why would a person looking to negotiate terms to save their children (Alicent) call their target's (Rhaenyra) sons "bastards" right to their very face?!!!

When in the past this is the very thing that proved a huge point of contention, the weapon they rubbed and used against their target back then, that they are trying to make deals with now?!!

EDIT #4 (HotD’s Alicent specifically):

F&B Quote (and if we take at HoD!alicent at face value):

In canon, we don’t hear anything about how Alicent (specifically and clearly) viewed cradle-bonding as related to the Velaryon boys, whether she hoped they wouldn’t be able to hatch any dragons in their childhood. It is implied, though, by her character of courtliness and Andal-Seven upbringing/teachings that really concerns itself with bastards vs trueborns, etc, that she would have believed this, though.

However, since book!Alicent is still smarter than show!Alicent, I assume that while she believed and held out hope so that the court speculation would turn towards her and her kids’ favor, she also wouldn’t come out and say that Rhaenyra’s kids were made obviously illegitimate through this event where they didn’t hatch any eggs. Her own daughter, Helaena, had to claim a dragon way before Aemond claimed Vhagar. Dreamfyre was Rhaena Targaryen (the Queen Dowager)’s dragon two generations ago. Viserys, Alicent’s own husband, also had to claim a dragon, and he did it in his 20s--Balerion the Black Dread and Aegon the Conqueror’s dragon, who died not long after Viserys first rode him. These same facts are the same in HotD’s “universe”.

If Alicent from the canon and book still believe in legitimacy being "proven" through cradle bonding even after being married to Viserys AND having at least 2 of her 4 kids having had to claim a dragon, then she'd be dumb for still thinking that. However, she'd still be smarter than show!Alicent for not expressing it aloud where her husband could hear her.

So show!Alicent was very stupid for vocally and confidently saying how she couldn’t understand how Rhaenyra’s sons’ eggs hatched to imply their bastardry. Aside from Targaryens/Targ-descents mostly claiming dragons since Valyria was a thing, it wasn’t politically smart. Why would you call your husband’s grandchildren bastards in front of his face, and so cavalierly?!

It’s rather a sign of Viserys’ stupidity and allowance if her getting away with a lot for no particularly good reason. Or terrible writing and character development. Why would Viserys be so adamant in keeping Rhaenyra’s kids safe and the heris for the throne and then not snap at Alicent for being so brazen and direct? For even the implication, for allowing her to go one for years about their parentage without harsher reprimands? And it goes back to how we weren’t allowed the scenes between the two parts of the family throught the ajor jump cut, because after Alicent first implied such a thing, we should have seen Viserys be as harsh and direct as he was towards Aemond in episode 7 and towards Otto in episode 4. And then, in the events of epsiode 6, Alicent would have been much more careful bringing up this bastard claim, creating so much more tension!

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piandaoist · 2 months

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Sometimes, I get stuck on Iroh's siege. Like, it spins in my head like a microwave plate. Weird, I know. After all these years, why am I still thinking about this bullshit siege?

I just… The walls of Ba Sing Se are made of stone, and they're in a kingdom filled with people who bend stone and dirt. It seems like the least viable option would be to attack these massive walls that your enemy's children can bend at you. Yet the Fire Nation kept "hammering away" at the Outer Wall as Azula put it. We can tie this nonsense 'strategy' into things like stupidity, hubris, greed, ambition, ego, the Fire Nation's unwavering belief in its own Exceptionalism despite all evidence to the contrary… And, let's be honest, there are a lot of real-life examples of people who are, frankly, just doing all kinds of stupid things for reasons rational people wouldn't understand. Personal reasons we aren't privy to, for example. Coercion and mental instability can also play a factor. Then there is the fact that some people truly believe they're smarter than the rest of us. But I don't want to speculate about the motives of every Fire Nation knob who tried to take down Ba Sing Se's Outer Wall because 'It seemed like a good idea at the time.'

For what it's worth, Iroh's motivations are both clear and uninteresting. He said he had a 'vision' of conquering Ba Sing Se. Which is…whatever. (Imagine you're the top general and you make all of your decisions based on Destiny.) I would have preferred canon give us something more interesting than 'destiny', but here we are. Who are we to dispute this claim from a guy who can see into the Spirit World? Not to mention, 'destiny' is one of ATLA's core themes. Personally, I always found it suspect how 'destiny' always seemed to line-up with ambition. It was Iroh's destiny to conquer/liberate Ba Sing Se (to further an agenda). It was Zuko's destiny to become Firelord (even if that meant he had to take down his own sister). Is destiny really on their side, or is it just bullshit Iroh was making up as he went along? Another discussion, another time, I suppose.

I'm more interested in the siege itself. How did Iroh ever get through the Outer Wall which, again, is made of easily-bendable earth? This next part is all speculation. No idea if any of this is covered in supplemental materials because I haven't been keeping up. But I needed to develop this for a story I'm not writing, so I have thoughts…

I think Iroh's siege was always meant to fail, just not in the way it happened. It was a trap. The planning went something like this…

A siege takes a lot of preparation--months, even years of planning. Logistically speaking, it requires moving around a lot of resources to get the resources and manpower ready for a huge push. There are a lot of moving parts. EK spies would have noticed things like resource reallocation, uncharacteristic troop movements, shipments of wood and other materials for the building of siege forts, a lot of weapons and artillery being moved to a specific location, maybe they'd gotten some inside intel… It's a bit of an undertaking to keep something like that a secret.

There's a good chance Iroh didn't know about the Dai Li presence in Ba Sing Se. Maybe he had an idea of some secret police in Ba Sing Se from some intel received decades earlier from some infiltration team, but he had no idea of their scope or reach. It's pretty clear they call the shots, not General How. How gets his walking orders from the head of the Dai Li, probably Long Feng. So, what happened? And why?

In the Five General's War Room, in Ba Sing Se, How confirms the intel that the Dragon of the West is going for the wall. A smart-ass makes a comment about how they should let Iroh's forces knock down parts of the wall and then they raise it like "Psych" until he gets tired and retreats. ;)

How looks at the general who always thinks he's the funniest guy in the room and says "Here's what we're gonna do. You're not gonna like it. We need you to take one for the team…"

A siege is probably one of the worst types of warfare. They often drag on for weeks, months, years… Resources are depleted and, if the enemy cuts your supply chain, you're looking at starvation and the rapid spread of disease as well as a shortfall of more men, weapons, ammo, and other materials. It's bad for morale because time erodes the men's resolve and frays their nerves. Iroh probably knows this but, you know, it's his destiny. Whatever. EK generals would know this, too; they're counting on it.

After six hundred days, due to various unpleasant circumstances, Iroh's army drops to an acceptable number of tired and broken men--a number the Dai Li is prepared to fight. Also, the Dai Li had to make it look like they were actually putting up a fight hence the timetable. But now it's time for the wall to come down.

The Fall Guy, General Funnyman, is there with his 'army', ready to surrender, giving Iroh his knife as a show of 'respect' for the unbeatable Dragon of the West. This gives Iroh's ego the boost it needs to convince himself that he can turn the tide in the siege. If, for a brief moment when Iroh's men were dropping like flies he questioned his destiny, that moment has now passed. He's within striking distance of his goal. The Inner Wall is literally within his sights, and an EK general is in his custody…

The remaining EK generals and several Dai Li have infiltrated Iroh's ranks. It isn't like Iroh knows the thousands of men under his command. How could he? And his command is in shambles, anyway. They're just running on desperation and hope at this point and no one is really looking at anyone else. They're all looking ahead, at this massive Inner Wall looming on the horizon, at the far end of a vast expanse of wide-open land.

All How and his handful of earthbenders needs to do is follow the last vestiges of Iroh's army inside the Outer Wall so they can close it behind, trapping Iroh's men between two walls. And those farms that maintain the land that feed the people inside of Ba Sing Se's wall and the structures built into the walls themselves are just crawling with eager earthbenders ready to take their pound of flesh from the Dragon's army. They can't wait to see the look on Iroh's face the moment he realizes it's a trap.

As Iroh is about the give the order to advance forward toward the Inner Wall, he gets word Lu Ten has died. You know the rest.

When Iroh abandons his siege, the commanders who are left realize they cannot take down the wall without him. Maybe some of them have figured out this is probably a trap? Others are doing the math on their losses thinking they just don't have the numbers or resources to mount a another siege on the Inner Wall? Maybe they think attempting to move across this landscape toward the Inner Wall is too great a risk? Some of them just probably want to go home. For whatever reasons, they retreat.

Iroh doesn't conquer Ba Sing Se and the Dai Li don't capture the Dragon of the west. Maybe the Dai Li capture Iroh's men, but they don't know where Iroh is because he just left… All that bloodshed and nobody got what they wanted.

Point is, things never go as planned. Life happens. Best laid plans, blah, blah, blah. Everybody just has to live with it. Everybody took huge risks with that engagement and thousands died and nobody came out ahead.

But at least General Funnyman got out alive. How was never gonna let anything happen to him even if he is super annoying.

Maybe when Iroh realizes how many Dai Li there are in Ba Sing Se, and of what the city is like, he realizes his siege was a trap. Maybe he realizes that Lu Ten's death saved his life.

#iroh #dai li #ba sing se #siege of ba sing se

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and-then-there-were-n0ne · 2 months

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Below is a piece on mating psychology I wrote for Onn Health. It is aimed primarily at (heterosexual) men, yet the insights offered here are broadly applicable to everyone.

The two most powerful predictors of happiness and life satisfaction are working in the right profession and finding the right spouse.

You can commit a lot of blunders in your life, but if you manage to get two things right, you will maximize your chance of long-term wellbeing.

Our choice of job and our choice of spouse are central to our happiness because they are where we spend most of our lives—at work and with our families. Therefore, we should devote a good deal of time concentrating on how to make the best possible decision for these two sources of potential happiness. Indeed, making the wrong choice can lead to potential misery.

Interestingly, much of modern advice prioritizes education and career, often relegating relationships to a secondary concern or valuing them primarily for their potential to enhance career ambitions.

Relationships, though, are critical for our health and wellbeing. Studies have found that the effect of poor relationship quality on mortality is as strong as the effects of better-known risk factors, such as smoking and alcohol use, and even stronger than other important factors, such as sedentariness and obesity.

For those who are focused on their careers, choosing the right partner can fuel occupational success. For instance, people with conscientious romantic partners tend to report higher job satisfaction and income, and are more likely to be promoted. This pattern held even after controlling for the study participants’ own conscientiousness. A disciplined and hard-working romantic partner can help us succeed in our own careers.

Indeed, there are examples of well-known men and the women who have helped them in their journeys:

Mr Beast:

“I have someone who I think is very beautiful, very intelligent, makes me better, is constantly pushing me, is okay with me working hard, makes me smarter. And just all these different things. For me, love just makes me a better person.”

Connor McGregor:

“My girlfriend worked very hard throughout the years and stuck by me when I had essentially absolutely nothing. I only had a dream that I was telling her.”

Chris Bumstead:

“She just built this confidence in me… It was a really important moment for my personal growth, champion growth, relationship growth.”

Warren Buffett:

“Susie really put me together. She believed in me. She got me to believe in myself, and that changed my life.” “And I would not only have not turned out to be the person I turned out to be, but I actually wouldn’t have been as successful in business without that. She made me more of a whole person.”

These examples show only one side of the story. In healthy relationships, both partners are expected to receive net benefits and grow.

Research in evolutionary and social psychology has illuminated key findings that help us to understand how people choose mates, as well as the factors that predict relationship success.

George Vaillant, former director of the multigenerational Harvard Study of Adult Development, has noted that “warm, intimate relationships are the most important prologue to a good life.”

Warm relationships supply benefits to both happiness and health.

How do people go about choosing mates? In popular culture, we often hear two different adages when it comes to relationship formation: Opposites attract, and birds of a feather flock together.

The former might make for a good romantic comedy. But in the real world, people tend to mate assortatively. We generally favor romantic partners who are similar to ourselves.

This is especially true for education and intelligence. In the U.S., for example, if your highest level of education is a high school diploma, your probability of marrying a college graduate is only nine percent. In contrast, if you hold a college degree, your probability of marrying a fellow college graduate is sixty-five percent. Interestingly, though, couples’ similarity in intelligence does not seem to predict relationship satisfaction.

Beyond education, we also tend to choose romantic partners who are similar to ourselves in terms of age, political orientation, religious affiliation, and socioeconomic status.

Does similarity predict stronger relationship satisfaction? The answer seems to be no. A meta-analysis concluded that “similarity had very little effect on satisfaction.” This doesn’t mean, of course, that similarity is meaningless for romantic satisfaction. More likely, similarity is necessary but not sufficient for romantic satisfaction. That is, while similarity does not guarantee relationship satisfaction, strong dissimilarities might be “deal-breakers” that would contribute to discontent. Your romantic partner holding the same political beliefs as you doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll be 100% satisfied with each other; but if they take the opposite stance on every view you hold, there’s a strong chance that relationship wouldn’t last very long.

So what does predict relationship satisfaction?

One factor seems to be authenticity. A team of psychologists found that the link between authenticity in relationships and relationship satisfaction is very strong. For instance, people who strongly agreed with statements such as “I share my deepest thoughts with my partner even if there’s a chance he/she won’t understand them” reported being particularly happy in their relationships. Interestingly, the study found that authentic people tended to mate with other authentic people, whereas deceptive individuals tend to attract deceptive partners. This seems to be another example of assortative mating, whereby people find themselves in relationships with partners similar to themselves.

What else besides authenticity predicts relationship satisfaction? A 2016 paper in Evolution and Human Behavior, authored by Daniel Conroy-Beam, Cari D. Goetz, and David Buss explored what makes people happy in their relationships. They discovered that people were less satisfied in relationships when their partners were less desirable compared to other potential choices. However, this was specifically the case for individuals who were more attractive than their partners. That is, people were satisfied with mates who were either more attractive than themselves, or more attractive than alternative choices. In short, when people were with partners who were attractive and hard to replace, then they were more likely to be satisfied. It seems that people aren’t asking themselves, “Does my partner fulfill my relationship needs?” Rather, they ask “Is my partner better than the realistic alternatives?” We aren’t gauging on some objective rubric. Rather, we grade our partners on a curve, comparing them to others we could reasonably hope to pair with.

This gets to the question of how we should approach searching for a compatible mate. An important idea from decision theory that can assist with this is known as the 37% rule, or “the secretary problem.” Suppose you’re looking for the best candidate for a secretary position (or any other job). The rule says that you should estimate how many total applicants are likely to seek the position, interview the first 37 percent of them, and remember the best out of that initial sample. Then, continue interviewing until you find a candidate who is even better than that. Once you find that better candidate, hire him or her. That is how you select the optimal candidate.

The problem with this rule is that it takes a lot of time and energy, especially if you are faced with a large number of possible candidates. You can’t realistically date 37% of all women you might possibly be interested in, and then keep going until you find someone more compatible than the best in that batch. However, researchers have found that a similar rule called “Try a Dozen” can work just as well as the 37% rule. According to this simpler approach, you would date a dozen possible romantic partners, remember the best of them, and then pick the very next prospect who is even more appealing to you. Of course, this is just a theoretical model that sheds light on the challenges of trying to optimize a difficult decision. It has many shortcomings and is not necessarily applicable to all individuals in all circumstances.

Many men try to get the hottest possible partner they can find. But this can present its own problems. As David Buss has said, “Mates, once gained, must be retained.” An average guy might manage to get a few dates with a supermodel. But the supermodel’s array of potential alternative options can introduce potential instability into the relationship. This can lead to jealousy, increased mate guarding, warding off potential romantic rivals, increased stress, heated arguments, and so on.

Of course, the reverse is not ideal. Entering a relationship with someone who is noticeably less attractive than you can give rise to dissatisfaction, conflict, and a wandering eye as you consider possible alternatives. The ideal situation, as Buss says, is “when both people feel lucky to be with the other person.” Of course, if your current pool of mates you could reasonably hope to attain is less attractive than you’d like, there is a simple option: Become more attractive yourself. For appearance, keep up on personal grooming and hygiene; improve your health and fitness; buy clothes that are stylish and fit well; get a good haircut. As a man, you can also level up your attractiveness by earning a promotion at work, switching to a higher paying position, or seeking a cool side job (bartenders, musicians, and volunteer firefighters don’t get paid like surgeons but still appeal to many women).

Many people have noticed that young people are unrealistically expected to know what career they will pursue at the age of 18 or 22. Seldom does anyone point out that the same logic applies to long-term romantic commitment. Interestingly, while there is a lot of guidance for how to choose a good career, far less support is available for choosing the right spouse.

Choosing a mate is not just choosing a mate. It’s also casting a vote for who you will be and who your children will be. [...]

Mate choice also profoundly influences children. If you have kids, your partner’s genetics will significantly influence their intelligence (at least 60% heritable), personality traits (more than 40% heritable), and mental health (more than 30% heritable). And as I cover extensively in my book, healthy, stable relationships benefit children. Having a partner who contributes to such a relationship will be instrumental in your child’s development and wellbeing.

Given the importance of marriage in a man’s life, it is crucial to choose a compatible spouse. Knowing which qualities to avoid and which to seek out can save you from future emotional and perhaps financial ruin.

People often focus on attributes they would like in a partner, but it is perhaps even more important to know which characteristics to avoid. “Red flags,” in common parlance. [...]

Smith offers a quote in another of his books, The Tactical Guide to Women, “Look for the red flags early in the relationship. If anything pops up early on, don’t let that slide. Most people are on their best behavior in the beginning. They hide it well until around the six-month mark. For example, if she gets drunk and is screaming at you for no reason within the first month, run as fast as you can. Don’t let something like that slide. There are underlying issues there.” This doesn’t mean that they are a bad person or unworthy of love or anything like that. But drinking and yelling is a sign that such a person might not be ideal for a long-term relationship commitment.

What about beneficial traits, or so-called “green flags?”

Smith suggests seeking clarity, maturity, and stability in a potential mate.

Anybody can communicate well when they and the relationship are at their best. Clarity, though, encompasses reliable communication and the ability to communicate during stormy periods. [...] Good relationships require that both partners express themselves constructively, especially during times of stress.

Relatedly, inquisitiveness is an important skill. It cuts through ambiguities and insecurities. Within a relationship, if one person behaves in an insensitive manner, a sign of inquisitiveness would be if his or her partner, rather than expressing anger, calmly asks why and listens. This can open the path to communication and understanding, rather than mutually escalating hostilities. [..]

Emotional maturity is another green flag. Some signs of this skill: She can calm herself when she’s sad or angry, she accepts reality, she keeps commitments, she takes care of relationships and doesn’t burn bridges, she bases important decisions on values rather than impulse, and she possesses the emotional resources to function well among coworkers, family, and friends.

Stability, another positive quality, indicates that a woman handles her personal challenges and cares for herself so that her life (and yours) isn’t a series of crises. As Smith puts it, a woman “who is unwilling to strive for her best state of mental health is unlikely to succeed in relationships.” [...]

This perspective on relationships underscores the importance of mutual support and shared growth. The notion of the “special woman” and “special man” transcends the conventional understanding of romantic partnerships, emphasizing a deeper, more harmonious connection. This link is not solely about love or attraction or sex; it is about finding a partner who understands, encourages, and participates in your life journey. Such a relationship becomes a crucible for personal and professional development, where both individuals are not just companions but co-architects of a shared future.

#rob henderson #love #marriage #relationship #relationship advice #red flags #toxic relationship

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odysseywritings · 3 months

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The Better Sister

@flashfictionfridayofficial

My older sister came over for the first time since Dad's funeral. We talked about important things over the phone but we stopped being close by the time she moved to the city with a lucrative career lined up for her. It was strange seeing her outside of a holiday, and when I asked her why she visited, she said it was something to do while her boyfriend visited his own family. She helped me pick up branches scattered in the yard after a nasty storm.

"So," Cheryl said in between the cleaning, "have you kept up with painting?"

"A bit," I replied with little energy. "Not many people here really want what I make. And it's hard to get anyone on the Internet unless I'm a great marketer."

She nodded and added, "You know, Dana, if you're looking for extra money, you could go into programming like me."

"I tried, but it's too complicated, even with beginner courses. I just wish there was more stuff here where I could... I don't know, feel successful and happy."

"Honestly, that probably won't happen if you stay here. If you want my opinion, Dana, you should put more faith in yourself. Otherwise, you'll be stuck here feeling miserable."

I don't know why I was so mad at her for that. It wasn't wrong, but how she said it, like it was so obvious. Maybe things were just easier when she was the smarter and prettier one and didn't get why I might've struggled more. I just wish she helped me more before she left. I grit my teeth and put on my best face.

"Maybe. I do try, though. I recently got a raise at my job despite the headache it's giving me, haha."

"That's good to show some ambition. Glad to see you coming out of your shell. Looks like we're done anyway so let's get back inside."

"Okay, but it's not looking good. Mom got worse with the hoarding after Dad passed away."

"God. Is she home now?"

"No, out shopping. Kinda glad because we can just relax."

We walked on a clear path surrounded by mountains of CDs, books, movies, tools, food cans, magazines, newspapers, and other items that merged into towering mounds of junk. I cleared up some room on the couch as we channel surfed. Mom's cat Robert Scritchum jumped up to greet Cheryl with needy affection as she made voices and messed with his fur. I'd feel more like that if we got him while the house and our mental states were in better condition.

We ended up watching a bad b-movie about an alien failing to kill a bird with a laser gun to keep things breezy. The mindless movie just made me overthink about the future. Would things be alright if I moved out and left Mom alone? Should I stay and try to tough out my issues?

I just wasn't cut out for this dilemma with my mental and physical issues. Every view into the window hurt my heart no matter what I chose. Cheryl would've handled this better. She was always the smarter one. The flow of overwhelming thoughts burrowed into my brain with an absentminded "It should've been you who stayed."

I looked back at the TV and then at Cheryl. She heard me say that aloud.

"You want me to stay here?"

My face burned and my gut sank. That wasn't supposed to spill out and now she'd think I was guilt tripping her.

"I didn't mean it, it just came out!"

Cheryl's face was hard to read and fixed on me. Her shoulders relaxed and put her hand on mine to calm my nerves. My heart rate slowed and I could breathe and think easier.

"I just had a bunch of thoughts and one of them accidentally came out. It's like... You were the responsible, rational sister. Thinking about the future of the house and Mom and your career. You would've handled that way better than me. I'm trying, it's just..."

Tears rolled without realizing it, and her hand held mine tighter, and she looked at me with gentle eyes.

"Hey, Dana, look. I appreciate what you're saying, but it's not that simple. I just can't come back to this life. Not with how I've been living now. And you shouldn't have to burden yourself with this. I don't know the right answer for you, but you've got a lot of resilience to put up with a lot of this and still be you. No matter what, Mom and I will support whatever you choose. Just please don't stress too much about it."

I sniffled and leaned over to hug her, trying to not get my runny nose on her shirt. I don't know how much of that solved anything but it was nice to just say it and to hear her without judgement. Whatever tension there was went away as we continued watching the cheesy movie and could laugh more freely. For the first time in years, we felt like sisters again.

#writeblr #writers on tumblr #realistic fiction #sisters #siblings #mywriting #njm

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sparrowandbee · 4 months

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Chapter 7 | Chapter 9

The Sparrow: Chapter 8: Goodbye

Synopsis: Marian and Haymitch share their final goodbye before the Games.

Warnings: Mention of alcohol and mention of dying/death.

Author’s Note: Might want to get some tissues out for this one…

Word Count: 1048

Vanilla opted to ride to the arena with Alder, which gave Haymitch and I the chance to bend the rules slightly and have him be my escort into the arena.

The Hovercraft was silent, we were both too caught up in our internal monologues to make conversation. We silently ate breakfast- neither of us were able to stomach much, though, and he didn’t even insist.

Actually we hadn’t spoken since after the interview. I was just glad that he showed up that morning, and seemingly sober (but hungover, nonetheless).

The world was silent as I followed him off the Hovercraft and down a sterile grey hallway, my eyes fixed on his tangled dark hair.

I made sure my black bodysuit was zipped all the way up as my heavy, black-booted steps echoed. It was sleeveless but had plenty of pockets.

It was going to be warm, probably.

I could do warm, I reassured myself despite the knot in my throat.

Haymitch held the door open for me and I was greeted by the sight of a transparent tube at the centre of the small room. It all suddenly felt so real.

This was it. The end.

I turned around to see him standing there, also looking up at the contraption that I'm sure brought back memories he'd rather forget.

All the tears I held in for the last week seemed to spill out like a burst damn- I couldn’t help the violent sobs which escaped me.

I launched myself at him, burying my face in his neck. He held me suffocatingly tight, stroking my braided hair.

Haymitch, who somehow made me laugh in the most despicable place on earth.

Haymitch, who proved to me that goodness exists in this uncaring world.

Haymitch, who made me feel seen and heard for the first time in my life.

He, who armed me with the most dangerous weapon I’d ever held- hope.

I had fought against this vulnerability my entire life, but as I clung to him, I whispered through my tears: “I don’t want to die.”

And despite his hardened exterior, the gruff lines on his face and lingering smell of whiskey, despite the years of training himself not to feel anything or to get attached, he squeezed me harder.

“Hey,” he says, his voice weak from his own tears, “you are smarter than any one of them. You only have to do this once, okay?”

He pulled away, holding my shoulder in one arm and brushing away a small piece of hair that had come undone. His worn hand lingered on my cheek.

“Okay?” He asked again, our bloodshot eyes looking into each other.

I nodded and wiped my tears.

It broke my heart because I knew she couldn’t win.

I had deluded myself and I had done everything I swore I wouldn’t.

I had forgotten that this isn’t a game you win- that regardless of how much resolve or ambition, we always end up dead on the ground.

The headstrong woman I had come to know that past week melted away into a scared girl in my arms.

The girl who got a three in training.

The girl who had too much kindness in her heart to slit a throat.

It shattered me completely to see her like this.

No one deserved to be in that position, but Marian’s was the last name that should have been pulled.

I smiled now, my eyes still wet. I wanted to show Haymitch that I would try. That I would keep my promise.

He smiled back, sniffling.

“There she is,” he was still holding my cheek. “Now you go in there and run. Forget about supplies, you can steal those later. Just fly under the radar and lay low, just like you do back home. And avoid fighting.”

“Thirty Seconds” the automated voice overhead announced and the elevated pedestal pod opened up as the countdown continued.

“Wait!” I had almost forgotten. From one of the many zippered pockets of my suit I pulled out the handkerchief I had embroidered.

I never knew my hands could create something so beautiful.

The pond where he and Evander played just happened to be my favourite place in the entire district.

Blue flowers bloomed in huge bushes right by the water. The individual flowers were so tiny, but they grew in bunches of five or six all around the pond, thousands to a bush. Together they created a lush ocean of blue and green, shaded by the big trees which housed the sparrows overhead.

I went there often, to listen to the water idle around, pulled by the lazy breeze as the sparrows vocalised with the soft rustling of the bushes.

There was never anyone there but I could imagine Haymitch and Evander splashing around, disturbing the peace with their boyish laughter.

I stitched little blue flowers all around the edge of the white cloth. On one end they met to surround a gold cursive ‘H’. On the other, I wove countless shades of brown and white to create a delicate sparrow. Her wings curving upwards, as if in mid flight.

If I died I hoped to become a sparrow by the pond.

To sing a beautiful song and watch over the man I’d come to love when he wept surrounded by little blue flowers. I’d hoped I’d be able to comfort him somehow.

On the left of the sparrow I embroidered my initial in the same gold thread and on the other side, E.E. - Ephra and Evander. So he would remember all the people that loved him. That despite the distance, we would always be by his side.

I smiled and turned away from him as I stepped onto the pedestal.

I couldn’t cry anymore, now was the time to fight.

I straightened my back and began my ascent.

“Your M” read the tag, in her neat cursive. Tied onto a handkerchief by a pink silk ribbon I recognized.

I watched her leave and held back my tears. I had felt too much, I couldn’t cry anymore.

I indelicately shoved the gift into my pocket, unable to face it now.

Unable to face that bright soul, full of humanity and love who was just taken from me.

Instead I pulled out my flask and took a deep swig, inviting the sting down my throat. I didn’t stop until it was empty.

I couldn’t believe that it was all happening all over again.

—

Next Chapter

Masterlist

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bluepenguinstories · 5 months

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You're Not Smarter Just Because You're High

Well, I’ve figured it out; connected the dots. It all lines up. The skills, their names, what they do… it all goes back to what they had to go through. It’s about alienation, and the struggle to be an idealist when the each half of the world would like to see you dead. The flies buzzing around, frightening at first, become plums once in your stomach.

I should know that feeling very well. That pit. If you look at this date, at this time, in this location it all lines up like a colony of ants out on a mission. I’ve been too much of a shut-in lately to have my head in the clouds. Call this self-centered, but I think I understand others better now. At least better than when I was critically anxious. I still don’t know about their intentions. People are scary, even when I understand then (if I do at all) but this isn’t a rally cry, or a call for help. The call is coming from inside the house.

Even in my head, it’s all about the day-to-day. Hours better spent, and always worse spent. It’s been at least a decade since I’ve had any ambition. What does it mean to have brown hair? It is so wrong to have it? I come from a community fractured like my face from all the times I picked at pimples. My dreams are best experienced when I fall asleep when I was awake, I used to forget I was in reality. Others now say, “you give up too easily.” But the truth is only a matter of never able to handle rejection, the slightest criticism, failure, confrontation. Yet I remain self-critical because deep down I’m aware that it’s necessary to have someone tell me my downsides. I just don’t want it to be someone other than me. In this dim, radiated light, it’s because if someone else says what I believe about myself, it will confirm my fears. Yet consciously, I know it’s not personal. Not like that. It just permeates my life, like expired lunch meat in a fridge.

But then, that’s all beginner material. That’s not the advanced course. Anybody can come to conclusions like that. It doesn’t reflect my values. Maybe it’s that what I value I don’t put into practice until it starts to look like I don’t value anything. Life is a constant struggle between being able to survive and sacrificing what I value. Yes, I know part of it is the economic system I live under but then I really wonder: is the problem also me? Is it because of my broken mind that I struggle to survive? Sometimes it becomes hard to tell how to act. Should I be the shivering puppy in the rain? No, even better, I can live invisible once more. I can cancel myself out. At least that’s how I see it. But I also know the meaning between wanting love and wanting intimacy. But how do you tell the one you love that you want nothing? That is not to say I am without but what I want is the very thing that is nothing. Nothing is everything to me.

Or at least it must be for someone. So did I do it? Did I crack the code? There were newspaper clippings on my great-grandmother’s floor. She always warned me about reading books for devil worship but she never prepared me for the fact that I just don’t like baseball. It all must have some deeper meaning…gender roles, or expectations and that comes another issue of mine: meeting the expectations of others. When medical professionals ask me if I’m pregnant or currently planning to be I have to tell them that I just can’t deliver. I didn’t put on tutus or anything. I am still not the most feminine – I wear hoodies. So how else was my great-grandmother to know? And if she saw the signs would she call me gay? But over time maybe I would have said, “yes, but not in the direction you’re thinking of.” That would have been a good bonding experience. But I just could never bring myself to tell her.

(Actually, that’s a lie, too, as I couldn’t bring myself to tell her because I didn’t even fully grasp that about myself either. Even if I was as bold as I was lamenting I wasn’t, I still couldn’t tell her. That’s just the fact. Also, I probably wouldn’t have even cared enough to tell her had I known, since I have never been close with my relatives to begin with. Actually, that’s a partial lie, too. I liked some relatives more than others and were closer with some than others.)

Is that it? Is that truly the root to everything? Is this some philosophical breakthrough? Freud would say so. Jung would snort coke off my back (allegedly). How should I know where I am and where the universe resides? I didn’t take that class. I didn’t reveal any hidden truths, I just want to make it sound like I did.

#poem #poetry #writing #this was just written one night when I was depressed #its more of a vent than anything resembling a poem #prose #really its stream of conscious depression

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rachelkaser · 1 year

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Resident Evil 4 Remake: 4 characters who were improved, and 2 who were ignored

After several weeks and multiple playthroughs of Resident Evil 4 Remake, I’ve finally made up my mind on which topic I wanted to write about. Believe me, there was a lot of ground to cover -- if you want an overview of what I think of the game generally, go read my review on GamesBeat. But here I wanted to keep it to one specific thing about the game: The characters.

More specifically, I want to go over which characters I think were improved in the remake, at least with regards to their overall writing and story arcs. I mean no disrespect to the original game, but the characters there, such as they were, were parodies and stock figures more so than people.

I’ll talk about four character that I think got an upgrade, in terms of character or (to a lesser extent) gameplay. I’ll also talk about two characters who could have used an upgrade, but were not given one -- and it might not be the ones you think.

I think it goes without saying, but just to be clear, there are going to be SPOILERS for Resident Evil 4 Remake in this post. If you haven’t played it yet, read at your own risk.

Character Improved: Ashley Graham

The original Ashley Graham has become the poster child for “annoying video game NPC” especially under the subcategory “escort missions.” Granted, I doubt I would have done much better than she did were I dropped into an infested foreign village as a college student. But even so, her grating voice and personality were not built to endear her to the player. As with everything else on this list, don’t mistake what I say as being a criticism of the original game. The original Ashley was deliberately written that way for maximum comedic effect.

Everything in RE4 was campy and exaggerated. Leon was a parody of a slick action hero. Ada was a stereotypical vamp in an impractical dress. The villains all spoke their evil monologues in self-indulgent drawls. Unfortunately, Ashley’s archetype, the damsel in distress, was also exaggerated -- and the exaggerated damsel is, by necessity, kind of shrill and needy. Gamers became fonder of her over time, if begrudgingly in many cases, but let’s not pretend the devs didn’t know how annoying she was when they made her.

Just to clarify: When I say “improved,” what I mean is that the character was changed in a way that made them better fit the world. Resident Evil 4 was never meant to be a compelling yarn but an action-packed good time. Resident Evil 4 Remake had ambitions to be both, and that meant the characters, Ashley included, had to change. As such, the new Ashley has been rewritten to be far more likeable and helpful. It sounds like an oxymoron, but she comes across as both younger and smarter.

In her first scene, the new Ashley attempts to defend herself when Leon enters her room, already making her a bit more competent than her previous iteration. She bolts out of the open door the first chance she gets, not listening to Leon. You later find out this is because she was abducted by Krauser, an American agent she probably thought she could trust. Therefore, she’s less inclined to blindly obey an agent she doesn’t know until the approaching Ganado leave her no choice.

She gets more conversations with Leon, commenting when he startles her throwing out a grenade or when he does something ridiculous like swing from a chandelier. Hints of her personality outside the crisis occasionally shine through, such as when she tells Leon she wants to be an agent and save the world with him. She helps in gameplay without having to be asked, dropping a Regenerator down a chasm of her own accord should it get too close to her. I feel that change alone has to have endeared her to most RE4R players.

The fact that she’s more proactive in the story also helps. She’s the one who cures Leon of his Plaga, figuring it out on her own despite having been too out of it to see him start the process on her. She helps Leon escape Mendez’s burning boss arena by smashing a window with a chair. She even leaps at the chance to drive the wrecking ball machine (and her apologies should she accidentally smack Leon with it are adorable). One of my favorite changes in RE4R is that she acknowledges Luis’s help and shows some emotion when Leon tells her about his death.

There’s one change that improves both her and Leon: The fact that she’s infested with a Plaga and has been for some time is far more important in the remake. The encroaching parasite absolutely terrifies her, and she nearly has a panic attack when Saddler remotely mind-controls her during the castle section. I appreciate that the game treats her like the vulnerable young woman she is rather than like the brunt of a game-long joke. She isn’t subject to Leon and Luis’s inappropriate teasing, and they’re quicker to reassure her that they’re friendly and want to help her.

I want to praise the new version of Ashley’s chapter, which is the only part of RE4R that puts the “horror” into “survival horror.” Granted, if I’m being really honest, there’s slightly less context for this section than there was in the original -- in the original, the enemies were cultists combing the castle looking for her; in the remake, they’re random, Plaga-infested suits of armor that are hanging out in the library. But I’m not inclined to criticize that because the whole Ashley section already felt like an out-of-body experience.

But alongside the tougher and nastier enemies, Ashley is more determined and courageous in this section. She’s unarmed and terrified, but she perseveres because she has to, and her pluck had me grinning ear to ear. My favorite moment was when she has to crawl under several immobilized Armaduras and pleads with them to behave themselves. The new Ashley isn’t completely free of the original’s annoying characteristics, but it’s a whole lot more excusable than it was the first time around.

Character Improved: Luis Serra Navarro

Let’s face it: Leon S. Kennedy is not the greatest judge of character in the world. His longest-lasting and most meaningful relationship in the whole series is with a woman who either can’t or won’t give him the time of day. It’s rare to see him get a meaningful moment of camaraderie with another character. So to see his relationship with Luis Sera -- here rechristened as Luis Serra Navarro -- go from a tentative détente to an actual friendship where they help each other feels rare and glorious.

Luis was always a bit of a wild card in the original game. It wasn’t exactly clear where he came from or what his deal was. We knew he had some kind of connection to the village, but not exactly what. He claims at various times to be a former police officer from Madrid or a researcher who worked on Las Plagas. How much of it is true, Leon never discovers. There are various points in the story where it seems Luis is going to give Leon and Ashley some answers, but he never gets around to it before Saddler impales him.

Luis in RE4R, on the other hand, is far more forthcoming and amiable. While he doesn’t disclose everything to Leon -- he conceals that he was once an Umbrella researcher -- he tells the heavily armed American stranger everything he needs to know to escape the situation safely. As the game progresses and he and Leon learn more about each other, he shares his reasons for helping them: He feels guilty about assisting Los Illuminados and wants to undo some of the damage he’s done.

Capcom knew not to fix what wasn’t broken, as Luis’s best moment from the original game, the cabin battle, is brought into the remake almost completely unchanged. He still helps Leon in combat, tossing him ammo when he gets low and attacking enemies that are giving him trouble. Sure, he’s still got a bit of a cheeky attitude, but the scene where it’s most prominently displayed is also the scene where he tells Leon where he can find Ashley, so I think we can forgive him that one.

Luis is much more compassionate in the remake. He explains to a scared Ashley what’s wrong with her and promises to help, and goes out of his way to get the suppressant to Leon. Given that his deal with Ada was for the Amber and he’s the only one who knows where it’s hidden, he could easily grab it and bail, but he doesn’t. And speaking of Ada, Luis is much more hesitant about contacting her, knowing that whomever she’s working for could be just as bad as Saddler, if not worse.

If the original’s backstory wasn’t explained to my satisfaction, two parts of it are expanded in the remake. First, his connection to the village. RE4R doesn’t precisely spell it out, but anyone who’s even slightly paying attention can piece together that Luis was originally raised in the village by his grandfather. Leon finds his grandfather’s diary, where the old man effuses about his grandson’s brilliance and how he’s wasted in a small town. I like to imagine the Red 9 Luis wields is actually his grandfather’s.

Another element is his work with Umbrella. In the original, it’s not explained where Luis’s scientific bonafides came from (not that we really required explanation), just that he was a researcher who balked at Saddler’s plans for world domination. In this one, we discover that not only was Luis part of Umbrella, he was in part responsible for the Nemesis, having been part of the European team that created it all the way back in the original RE3. Considering they don’t address that in the RE3 Remake, that’s a pretty deep cut (and it makes sense, given Luis’s history with the Plaga and how tentacle-y Nemmy is, though I’m not sure which one came first).

Of course, I’ve not yet addressed the biggest change to Luis -- namely, that he dies much later in the remake than he does in the original. Here he accompanies Leon through the entire mine level, including the outrageous mine cart chase and the Novistador infestation. He gets a more interesting (if less ostentatious) death, being knifed in the back by Krauser and surviving just long enough to shoot the knife out of his killer’s hands at a critical moment (taking Ada’s place in that scene, which doesn’t bother me).

Also, maybe I’m the only one who noticed or cared about this, but I appreciate that he’s more Spanish in this one. Far be it for lil ol’ American me to judge someone for not being an adequate representation of their country, but the original Luis always sounded like someone trying on a vague approximation of the right accent. Not only does Luis have a better voice this time, but he now has an appropriately Spanish name. Perhaps it’s a touch stereotypical to have him be so obsessed with Don Quixote, but hey, I’m obsessed with it and I’m not remotely Spanish.

Character Ignored: Ingrid Hunnigan

This one was a disappointment. I loved Hunnigan in the original game. In RE4′s world of hammy lunacy, she was the grounded character, the one who let you know that there was order and safety for Leon outside of his mission. Someone had to be the straight man, and Leon only plays the part intermittently. Ingrid Hunnigan, Leon’s handler, was the voice of order in the chaotic, fast-paced world of RE4, and we all loved her for that.

The version of her that appears in RE4R doesn’t play as much of a role in the plot, if only because Leon doesn’t need quite the same level of moral support. The two of them end up getting cut off from each other early in the castle level -- around the same place the villains hijacked Leon’s radio signal in the original game. So it’s not that we have less Hunnigan in the remake, per se. But it’s more that they completely whiffed the chance to give her more attention than they did in the original game.

The version we have in RE4R is . . . passable. Given that the remake doesn’t really need someone to play straight man as often, it makes sense that Hunnigan’s role in the game would be somewhat muted. I don’t mind that she’s no longer subject to Leon’s ridiculously un-smooth flirtation attempts. That was cute before, but this new, more serious Leon would give us all even more secondhand cringe than the original did.

Now that I think of it, since Salazar and Saddler didn’t hijack Leon’s communications in the remake, there’s not much of an explanation given for why he’s cut off from her? If it were just an interference issue, wouldn’t that clear up at least slightly on the way to the island? Regardless, I think there was still room for Hunnigan to play Leon’s tether to reality -- not necessarily because the villains are so cartoonish, but because Leon’s kinda losing his grip thanks in part to his parasite hitchhiker.

The remake makes the plot point about Leon and Ashley having Las Plagas implanted in their bodies more important and uses it to add a sense of urgency to the story. One of my favorite new additions is a lengthy sequence in which Leon has to fight off Plaga-induced visions in the final stretch to reach the cure. Wouldn’t it be trippy as hell if we heard Hunnigan’s voice during these sequences, sliding in and out as Leon starts to lose it? In-game, he just kinda snaps out of it and unlocks the door to the lab with no explanation -- wouldn’t it be great if, instead, it was Hunnigan’s desperate attempts to reach him that woke him up?

Here’s an alternate scenario: Maybe Hunnigan could have been a secondary antagonist? I don’t mean a villain, but someone who begins working against Leon as the mission goes sideways. I’m not the first one to point it out, but once Leon was certain Ashley was in the village, he should not have been the only law enforcement officer on the spot. You could make the case that everything happening in a night could have stymied backup, but I think that leaves open a new possibility to make the mission more hectic and time-sensitive.

To that end, maybe Hunnigan could have tried to call in the Spanish authorities and/or a backup Interpol squad, but each time Leon keeps trying to reassure her that this wouldn’t be helpful and he’s got the situation under control -- perhaps because he’s fearful of having another Raccoon City, where every police officer besides him got absolutely mauled. The game keeps hinting Leon has leftover guilt from that incident -- perhaps that would have been a way to exacerbate it?

The player might be tempted to think she has a point, given that Ashley slips out of Leon’s grasp like a greased cat. This would have made Mike the Helicopter Pilot’s death more interesting. Mike is Hunnigan’s way of trying to help, compromising with Leon’s lone wolf attitude while still providing what, from her perspective, is much-needed firepower. And Mike is helpful, at first. Then he gets killed by the Novistadors, proving that Los Illuminados are able to fend off a military assault and that Leon is right to be going this alone. Also, Mike the Helicopter Pilot? One of my favorite things about the remake.

Character Improved: Ada Wong

I think this might be a more controversial take -- especially considering I criticized this depiction of Ada in my official review. And don’t get me wrong, I’m still not really a fan . . . though, I will say that anyone who might have used my critique of Lily Gao’s performance as an excuse to harass her should go flog themselves, because that is unacceptable. While I have my reservations about Ada’s interactions with other characters (which might still be improved in the inevitable Separate Ways DLC), I still appreciate this updated take on her. Let me explain.

Resident Evil 2 and Resident Evil 4 (the originals, that is) felt like they were from entirely different planets. If I were to put them in front of a person who knew nothing about games, I’m willing to bet money they would never peg them as being from the same franchise. That’s not a criticism, by the way -- just an observation of the generational differences that affected the series.

Resident Evil 4 had a vastly different tone from RE2. The original RE2 was, while a little corny, intended to be a sober horror game. So it makes sense that Ada in that game is more of a dark femme fatale, beautiful and beguiling to the naïve Leon but still a ruthless and efficient spy who is willing to kill to accomplish her goals. Ada in RE4, on the other hand, is a more openly sexy and flirtatious character, less serious and more flamboyant. Again, this completely fits the tone of the game, as everyone is less serious and more flamboyant in RE4.

I like to use her outfits as a point of comparison. Ada in RE2 wore a short red dress, black leggings, and ballet flats -- not the most practical outfit for a zombie-infested city, but it fit her cover story of being a civilian looking for her boyfriend, and one could make the case that Ada didn’t know exactly how big a mess Raccoon City was. In RE4, on the other hand, she wore a stylish red cheongsam and black heels -- not because it fit her cover story, or because she didn’t know the seriousness of her mission, but apparently because that’s just what she wanted to wear.

The remakes, on the other hand, are more or less homogenizing the major games in the series. These new games are more consistent in tone, gameplay, and story. Your mileage may vary on whether you enjoy that, but I look at it as simply a different artistic directive -- not good or bad. One of the major sources of that consistency is the characters. In 2005, it beggared belief that the flippy, quippy government agent was the same baby-faced cop from Raccoon City. In RE4R, I can completely believe it’s the same person.

To keep to that more consistent sense of tone and character, Ada can no longer be that stylishly appointed nor that overtly flirtatious. It wouldn’t be in keeping with her RE2R design. But she is still stylishly dressed and flirty, just in a more restrained sense. I appreciate as well that they give Ada a sense of agency I felt she lacked with regards to the original game’s ending. Ada’s always walked the line between good and bad, but at least in RE4R she doesn’t just blithely ride into the sunset with the BBEG’s key to world domination in her pocket.

So yes, while I do love both versions of Ada, I like that this one is written to be more in-line with her portrayal in RE2R, the same as with Leon. RE4R does pay homage to the original in the sense that she’s still dressed far sexier than I would think practical for the setting -- a skin-tight turtleneck sweater dress with thigh-high boots. But at least you could make the argument that it’s workable for a mission on what appears to be a chilly weekend in Europe.

Character Improved: Jack Krauser

As with all the characters on this list, I would never dream of suggesting the hardass military officer from the original game wasn’t a perfectly adequate specimen for the time. Quite the opposite. But let’s be honest with ourselves -- he was as much of a cheesy parody of action movie BS as Leon himself was. I love him dearly for that, but that kind of character wasn’t going to work in the remake.

Out of all the villains of the game, Krauser’s undergone perhaps the biggest facelift. Like all of them, he gets a general threat upgrade and has had most of his sillier affectations removed. Krauser is also changed from a former comrade-in-arms of Leon’s fallen from grace to his former drill instructor. He still has his flare for the dramatic, but here it’s less dark Rambo and more Lt. Col. Kilgore. I’ve heard some gamers aren’t huge fans of his new voice, but I think it’s at least of comparable quality to the original.

Leon establishes almost as soon as he sees Krauser that the new version was always an asshole, but he at least had some kind of a code of honor. It’s a little more clear in the remake that Krauser is a cautionary tale of a good soldier going bad thanks to ill fortune and a lack of faith in his superiors. Even in his final moments, he encourages Leon to finish him and complete his mission. I actually kind of hope he’s not in the Separate Ways DLC because I like his big finish in the main game.

This change extends beyond the original game and into The Darkside Chronicles, to my surprise. They keep one element of Krauser’s backstory consistent: Namely, that he and Leon were both involved in Operation Javier, which left him psychologically scarred and with a massive chip on his shoulder. However, they’ve altered this somewhat to imply that Operation Javier was some kind of government screw-up that was covered up, and Krauser was left to die. This is not Operation Javier as we were shown in Darkside Chronicles.

I can only see this as a good thing because one of the big disappointments of Darkside Chronicles was the reveal of why Krauser became a villain in the first place. I wasn’t exactly expecting a Shakespearean tragedy of a fallen hero, but let’s just say that the reason he betrayed his friend and country was way pettier than RE4 implies. So RE4R retroactively creates a better backstory for Krauser, if only in a read-between-the-lines kind of way.

Also, this relieves Krauser of the responsibility of being the one to tie the story to Umbrella. In the original game, that part came as a non sequitur that Krauser blurts out. The remake shifting that responsibility to Luis is not exactly contextualized much better, but it at least feels a bit less like something the devs threw in at the eleventh hour when they remembered they were making a Resident Evil game.

This makes his role in Los Illuminados clearer. In the original, he was Wesker’s infiltrator who became a little too enamored with having his own Plaga, which is why Wesker sent Ada to finish his original mission. It makes a bit more sense that Los Illuminados would proactively reach out to and convert a government agent, rather than happily accepting one who just happened to turn up at their door.

And I’m not the first one to say it, but his new boss battles are so much fun. The parrying mechanic feels like it was created specifically for the Krauser fight, replacing the QTEs of the original. While Leon shares some boss fight banter with all of the big bads, the stuff he has with Krauser feels way more personal and nasty. The game may not exactly spell out what kind of history the two of them have together, but you can definitely feel it in the way they insult each other.

I’m not saying the new Krauser is perfect, mind you -- I still think it's too much of coincidence that a random American soldier Leon knows is one of the final bosses of the game. But at least I understand who he is, what he wants, and why he’s so mad at Leon a little bit better. And Leon having a more personal connection to one of the bads was a fun element of the original that’s given a bit more emotional weight in the remake.

Character Ignored: Osmund Saddler

Ah, here he is: The big bad of the game, or at least the final one. Saddler is the leader of Los Illuminados and the mastermind behind Ashley’s kidnapping, so him keeping his position as the final enemy Leon must destroy is fitting -- but it feels like the RE4R devs missed an opportunity to flesh him out even more. All of Saddler’s lieutenants get a bit more meat on their figurative bones: Mendez’s history as leader of the village is explored; Salazar’s lineage is expanded on; and Krauser’s military record is completely overhauled. But Saddler himself? Not so much.

Saddler had a presence through the whole of the original game. In the remake, we don’t meet him in the flesh until the last few hours of the game, when he confronts Leon and Ashley as they’re almost to Luis’s cure machine. Granted, he makes quite an impression, mind-controlling Ashley and forcing her to shoot Leon. But considering we’ve seen Mendez, Salazar, and Krauser (making his earlier-than-before appearance in the castle section) already, Saddler feels almost like an afterthought in this adaptation.

Unlike Hunnigan, who gets the same amount of screentime as the original but feels less necessary, Saddler straight up gets deprived of screentime for the majority of the game. In the original title, he appears in both the village and castle segments of the game and talks to Leon over the radio. None of that happens in the remake, and Leon only “sees” him via flashes across the Plaga hivemind after he’s infected. So by the time the two actually interact, it feels like too little, too late.

I understand that some changes needed to be made to Saddler -- he was by far the campiest villain in the original, with his oh-so-slimy voice and jabs at Leon’s American-ness. He implied more than once that he wasn’t so much a devout cult leader as a con artist trying to use Las Plagas to gain wealth and power. In the remake, he fully believes in his cause and intends to use Ashley to infect as many people as possible, seeming to care little for wealth.

The fact that he’s in so little of the game comparatively feels like a huge missed opportunity. His new motives and possible loss of identity to the will of the Plaga would make for a great new villain arc, and his aesthetic has only gotten creepier with the graphical upgrade. And granted, there are hints of a richer backstory for him, as Leon finds evidence on the island that Saddler’s ancestors have been involved with Las Plagas for a long time.

But again -- and I hate to repeat myself -- it’s not enough to make up for his dearth of actual screentime. The trippy visions of him over the hivemind are cool, but lack any sort of context. Leon doesn’t discuss seeing these things with Ashley or comment on the mysterious man’s identity. By the time Saddler starts to explain himself, Leon is so thoroughly done with this shit that he just shoots him before he can say anything. He and Ada repeat this before the boss fight, so Saddler never has a chance to explain his new motives.

The one positive I will add is that RE4R explains why Saddler is so resistant to Leon rescuing Ashley. Given that his plan in both versions involves Ashley going back home and infecting her father, the President, with Las Plagas, he sure is cavalier about her safety. In the remake, it’s implied that he’s waiting until her Plaga has fully matured and she’s not capable of fighting it off anymore. If she goes back with enough willpower to inform someone that something is wrong, Saddler’s plan is scuppered, so he’d probably rather she die than for the plan to go off half-cocked.

As with Hunnigan, let me propose an alternate scenario: If we must keep Saddler confined to the hivemind visions, I would like to see him deliberately induce those visions for Leon. Throughout most of the game, Leon seems to see him mostly by accident, like he’s tapping Saddler’s telepathic phone. I would like to see Saddler turn to the camera and tell Leon (and the player) that he knows the American is listening, that he knows Leon is aware of his plans, and that there’s nothing Leon can do to stop him.

As it is, it feels like we missed a chance to get a really threatening and badass version of Saddler. The remake expands on his non-existent backstory to reveal that he and his family have been steadily working on restoring Las Plagas for centuries -- you’d think Saddler would have more to say to Leon and Ashley, the instruments of his plan’s completion. Mendez, Salazar, and Krauser all got their moments to shine in the remake, while Saddler himself is confined to RE4R’s final hour.

That’s my take on the characters in Resident Evil 4 Remake. If you think differently -- or heck, if you think I put too much thought into it -- feel free to drop me a line letting me know.

#midweek madness #resident evil 4 remake #resident evil 4 #leon s kennedy #ada wong #ashley graham #capcom

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