#my ass knows this is the fucking ttc

[punkeropercyjackson]

Ultimately the reason Percabeth is such horrifically bad ship yet gets praised so much is that while Percy and Annabeth canonically love eachother,they also canonically don't like eachother LMAO.Percy's constantly wishing Annabeth was extremely different than who she actually is because he finds her unbearable and hard to be around and finds escapism in being around people who're unlike her with the biggest example being him having been in love with Rachel before they settled into still close exes

There's also his friendships with the Grace Sibs,Thalia had infinitely better progress with him in TTC than Annabeth has in the entire saga and he admires her a lot more too and it's a running theme that Jason is Annabeth's opposite and Percy became instant best friends with him upon first meeting and all three of their first meetings are more charming and unique than Percy saying his type is princess-y girls in his narration but Annabeth hating being seen as one because she's gnc and 'You drool when you sleep'.I also think if anybody is Percy's cosmically intertwined soulmate it's not any s/os but Nico and Hazel and by that i mean in a found siblings with him also being their pseudo-parent way.All their dynamics are interesting and richen their characters and they're from different time periods which only adds to how special their bond is

And on Annabeth's end.......She kinda straight up hates his existense.She's always talking about how stupid he is and that he's useless without her and i get that Rick tried to sell it as affectionate teasing but she's angered by it so often it's obvious it's just Rick being a cishet nt white old man.She gets angered by finding him attractive too?????This trope can be good but Percy never actually does anything,he's literally just existing and that includes not actively pursuing her back since he dosen't want her even half as much as she thinks she wants him.It's rare compared to her mean-spirited comments he explicitly never consented to and finds unnecessary and one of the many thing's he wishes she wasn't and he never returns her physical assaults so 'they're demigods and it's normal!' excuse dosen't add up

Yeah,they're dating in canon and gonna get married.Percy's also gonna not only go to college but a demigod college when again and again and AGAIN he says he dosen't want to be a half-blood and he's only going so he can live out a traditional lifestyle with Annabeth so so much for 'his thether to his mortal side' i guess.Annabeth never got any shit from Poseidon like Percy did Athena or terrorizing like Aphrodite does everybody else she talks to and Percy was forced to narratively forgive Luke,again,only because of Annabeth when he groomed him for a bit and abused him tons too and it's so vile to gaslight us into thinking Luke was anything but a serial pedophile and beyond far right to Percy's lifelong outcasthood and anarchy and Annabeth as a direct victim of his sick sexual 'interests' in plausible deniability font due to being a pg series.Percabeth is the peak cishet romance norms taken up to 12 like the Olympians and it's embarrasingly obvious nobody saying they're t4t has ever been in a transmasc4transfem relathionship

That's why this moment is so fucking depressing.She knows him and she dosen't like any of what he is and he dosen't say it outloud because he's scared of the truth,that he ended up with the wrong person,that he fucked up again and she's hollower whenever she's around him because she exists FOR him and for almost nothing else.They weren't eachother's choice,they were eachother's destiny decided by everyone but themselves.This fucks up my autistic ass so much man,no wonder i only ever liked that lesbian!Percabeth au with transfemme Percy and butch Annabeth that was popular when i was a kid,that's deadass the only way you can make it work,they'd need an entire rehaul but at this point i don't care to try because the shippers don't deserve it after how demonic they've been since the 2000s.Percabeth was never a good ship,you were just a tween

[phoenix--flying]

The Raven and the Dove

I need to hear more about this AU, please

hehehe i love this au its so fun in my head

Some pre context not exactly related to this au but is tied into it as its apart of my own hcs; lou, cecil, will and drew are all friends 🙏, lou and cecil are in the ta, drew and ethan are step siblings, ta lee <33

and also just. leeluke and silentsun (will/cecil)

MOVING ONN

Will catches Lou and Cecil leaving CHB to join Luke, Cecil off handedly offers Will to come with them, to which he requests they bring Drew along

Hecate leads them to one of her other children (haven't decided if it's Alabaster or one of my other hecate kid ocs <3) who in turn bring them to the Princess Andromeda

Luke is, admittedly, surprised to see that Will and Drew have any interest in joining, but he isn't going to argue with more recruits, Lee thinks its stupid to let Will join but he can't say no because. Kronos. SO THEY JOIN

Lee and Silena still play spies so they have to act worried about Drew and Will as if they don't know those kids r chilling on the Andromeda and not in fact monster food

Drew is SCOURING THE EARTH to drag Ethans ass onto the ship, Lou is learning spells from her siblings and then Will and Cecil are just having a good time

Eventually, the four of them end up getting dropped at Westover Hall because Kronos told Luke there were demigods there. So, they make friends with Nico and Bianca by extension

However, because of this, the di Angelos are much more inclined to trust the ta kids over the campers come TTC, Lou ends up shadow travelling off with Nico while the other three work on getting Bianca tf outta there

Cecil ends up going off the cliff with Annabeth, and Drew manages to distract the other three campers long enough for them to get Bianca back into the building and then GET THE FUCK OUT

I haven't thought too far past TTC, aside from Lee 'disappears' from CHB before BOTL and survives until TLO only to get killed by Kronos during the Battle of Manhattan LMAO

[kamiko1234]

*SWEARING & YAPPING AHEAD. EVERYTHING STATED HERE IS MY SUBJECTIVE OPINION AND IN NO WAY MEANT TO REFLECT THE OBJECTIVE TRUTH*

Hi yeah I just started chapter 14 and- am I the only one who sort of HATES how Thalia's being handled? And also Percy to some degree? Like- Thalia and Percy had just had this a conversation about Luke and ngl? Thalia sounded like such a selfish and entitled BITCH like!? The way she talked about "Luke's bad decisions" and that "they all have tough things to deal with" !? JUST NO! YK WHAT THALIA!? FUCK YOU! Like is she for real here? Really!? REALLY!? Like I get that Thalia is angry at Luke, and that the guy did some stupid and bad stuff but- TO ACT SO APATHETIC TO IT ALL!? LIKE HE'S ACTING UNREASONABLE OR SOMETHING!?

This isn't solely "Luke's just being a brat about something we all had to deal with". Luke's mother went INSANE. He was stuck with a mom having MENTAL FITS TO THE POINT OF HIM HAVING TO HIDE IN CLOSETS. The boy had to run away and live on the streets ALONE.

He had ZERO SUPPORT SYSTEMS IN PLACE.

For the love of GOD Thalia! Way to show you have the empathy of a STONE. And that guy was supposed to be your friend!? Not going to lie Thalia doesn't feel like someone who knows Luke in this book, even if she way mad at him. AND THEN THE COMMENT ABOUT HIM SUPPOSEDLY BEING AT FAULT FOR THEM NOT GETTING TO CAMP IN TIME 'CAUSE OF "PICKING FIGHTS WITH MONSTERS" LIKE??????? Like is the author for real right now? THAT'S what the consense is????? Last time I checked monsters were a bunch of blood thirsty LITTERAL GOD DAMN MONSTERS whose number 1 hobby is hunting and killing demigods. EVERYONE ELSE litteraly fights them ALL THE TIME.

BUT WHEN LUKE DOES IT IT'S SUDDENLY BAD!? THE FUCK???

And then the way she PHRASED it!? "Picking fights" implies that LUKE was the one who started the confrontation when i know DAMN WELL he didn't. Those were MONSTERS, they are KNOWN FOR ATTACKING DEMIGODS. BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LUKE IS AT FAULT FOR THE FIGHT FOR SOME REASON! NOT THE BLOODTHIRSTY CREATUREAKNOWN FOR ATTACKING DEMIGODS!?

AND THEN THALIA ALSO SEEMS TO FORGET THE WONDERFUL FACT THAT LUKE WAS LIKE- UNDER 14 STILL WHEN ALL THAT WENT DOWN! That boy was a CHILD.

But I guess defending yourself is bad now! Sorry dude you heared Thalia, you should have just laid belly up and let yourself get killed^ Ands then that stupid ass line about Hermes loving Luke as if somehow made up for something????? LIKE BE SO FOR REAL THALIA WE BOTH FUCKING KNOW THAT HERMES "LOVING LUKE" DOESN'T MEAN JACK SHIT. I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH HE LOVED HIM HE STILL WAS A SHITTY ASS FATHER WHO DID FUCK ALL FOR HIS KID.

And now before anyone comes at me about this. I do not give a CRAP about that rule Hermes mentioned of gods not being allowed to meddle with mortal affairs because A) YOU GUYS ALREADY FUCK MORTALS TO PRODUCE CHILDREN WITH THEM!? THE FUCK YOU MEAN YOU "AREN'T ALLOWED TO MEDDLE WITH MORTALS" AND

B) LUKE WASN'T EVEN A FUCKING MORTAL YOU DIPSHIT!? HE WAS A DEMIGOD! A CHILD DEMIGOD AT THAT!? UR A MOTHERFUCKING GOD WE BOTH FUCKING KNOW YOU COULD HAVE DONE ATLEAST SOMETHING. DON'T HIDE BEHIND SOME STUPID ALL RULES THAT ALREADY SOUND LIKE EXCUSES WHEN THEY DON'T EVEN FUCKING APPLY IN THAT SITUATION

I swear to the heavens above the way people act like it was SUCH a surprise that Luke went bad are a bunch of fucking clowns, No wonder did the guy start a war WHEN THAT WAS HIS MOTHERFUCKING SITUATION. And then GOOD GOD THE COMMENT PERCY MADE WHEN HE MET ETHAN UNDER THAT TRUCE!? WHERE HE MENTALLY CALLED KIDS OF MINOR GODS UNIMPORTANT!?

WHAT A FUCKING DICK!?

Say what you want but it takes BALLS to first be mad at them for switching sides and then pull a line like THAT.💀 Percy needs to be HUMBELED real fucking quick omfg, and Thalia too. "Luke's old friend" my ass, I'm just gonna assume she was used as the authors mouth piece here since she was handeled MUCH better in TTC. God that just made me furious, especially Percy's hypocrecy concerning minor gods. (Hopefully I understood or misheared something at that part, otherwise Percy would just be a straight up biggot.) Way to get too deep into something, please don't spoil me. Thanks.

[twisted-tales-told]

So many ppl have been following me since I took “I hate Barty crouch jr” out of my bio, and I just need you to know this fact stays true.

BUT this does not include @sophsicle of his bones barty (also @otrtbs Ahb barty but for the sake of screaming I must keep this about ohb barty but Nat I love u)

of his bones Barty is genuinely VILE. He’s not the cute kind of evil that I see so often (if u like that you do you but it’s not for me) he is MESSY! And I love that he’s the fucking worst because you can’t appreciate his beauty through it. There’s no glamour. He’s a fucking oil spill. He is a danger to others! You would not feel safe on the TTC if he was there!

Like he is so far gone into his own insanity he does not know up from down and that is the way it should be. Like I cannot stress enough how his psychopathic ass is not playing around. He’s not pretty, he’s not flashy, he’s a punch to the gut and the blood you spit out

[g-kat423]

The whole Twitter thing is funny because I kind of dip my toes in everything. I use Instagram, tiktok, and here. I long abandoned Facebook. I came back here after 3 years because tiktok has a lot of 2014 rehashed tumblr discourse and unlike tumblr, you can’t really curate your tiktok experience to your liking. You’re at the mercy of algorithms deciding what you might like. Tumblr is kind of trying to do that with the for you tab and it’s absolute ass. TikTok’s algorithm used to be so addicting but lately it’s just constantly missing and ignoring creators I follow and posts I interact with. Instead it shows me stuff I’m “supposed” to be interested ever since it had me enter in my birthdate and because I’m a woman of a certain age so I must want to see everyone’s screaming crotch goblins and pregnancy/ttc updates. Tumblr was doing that for awhile to when it was forcing stuff I might like right onto my dashboard like holy fuck I barely care about my friend’s kids why would I care about a stranger’s?

As for Twitter my account is private and I mostly bitch and then exit the app. It’s not a primary form of social media because it’s hard to find stuff you’re interested in so I just follow people I know and some accounts that post animals every hour. Oh and a couple Lady D RP accounts. If it came down to it I could delete Twitter and not care. Tumblr has become an escape again after my 3 year hiatus apart from certain people trying to cause fandom drama but the block button is free at least.

[cristinablackthornkingson]

My thoughts/comments on roughly pages 700-900 of COI.

**TW/CW**

Alcoholism

Miscarriage

Child trafficking

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Matthew and Elias are more alike than Cordelia thinks, Matthew is just a nicer drunk than Elias. They both have/had their demons and use alcohol as an attempted escape, let's just hope things turn out better for Matthew than they did Elias .

Ahhh I really hope there isnt going to be a love triangle between Matthew, Cordelia and James, unless they become a throuple, but I am more so rooting for MatthewxLucie. Isnt Jesse like 8 years older than Lucie? I mean I guess he's technically forever 17 and doesnt have much more life experience than her but still, I prefer them as besties.

Grace leave James alone!

Uh yeah Grace no duh the Bridgestocks dont like you, you're the woman Charles left Ariadne for, that could have ruined her reputation

GRACE FUCK OFF!

JAMES DO NOT KISS HER, Tessa needs to get back and slap some sense into her son jfc!

DAMMIT JAMES!!!

"I should go" Yes you should! And leave James the fuck alone!

The Famer at the Barrow is Wayland the Smith, calling it now

Yep I knew it!

I want a crossover series where Cortana meets Sumabrander/Jack from Magnus Chase 😂😂

Wayland the Smith wants payment for healing Cortana, uh oh, all magic comes with a price

Wait what is a paladin? Does Wayland want Cordelia to find the killer and stop the killings? Has she not already sworn fealty to Cortana? - Oh no she swore fealty to Wayland, makes sense. Go kick ass Daisy!

Yikes seems as if Lucie's powers might cause some trouble for her

Possible Lucie and Ariadne friendship? Will Lucie help her and Anna get back together?

Okay I fear for Lucie when Grace tells Malcolm about Annabell.

Always thought Malcolm was the one who helped Tatianna preserve Jesse's body, apparently not, new character maybe?

Ooh honey, Malcolm this is so much worse than Annabell rejecting you.

Glad to see Lucie inherited Tessa's sensibility

Ariadne and Anna being Lucie's protective yet kickass lesbian cousins, we stan

Awwww Anna calling Lucie "ducks" 🥺

Oh my God Grace was trafficked??? Tatiana is a child trafficker? As are the Cartwrights? Holy fuck poor Grace!

I hope James is okay, I wonder if he'll tell them about Grace? Or that hes in love with Cordelia? Or that he might be possessed by the killer?

I fucking love Anna fussing over Lucie and calling her pet names, more Anna and her cousins being wholesome please!

But surely Belial cant posses James? He had the spells of protection placed on him as a baby, and he didnt actually die in COG, like Jace did in City of Glass, but maybe its different because he is half Warlock and related to Belial?

Raum venom in my shoe, oh Christopher, never change ❤

"I think he is possessed" said Thomas "He is defacing a book" LMAOOOOOOO throw that shade Tommy!

"He felt an odd sensation, tingling between his shoulder blades, apprehension perhaps?" Jamie, sweetie, I'm demiromantic and have never been in love yet even I know you're feeling love and attraction to Cordelia

"Just wound me then, stab me in the leg if you have to" Ah, young love

Hmmm Cordelia and James spending the night in the same room, sexy times to ensue?

A crack in the gracelet? Perhaps James'true love for Cordelia is strong enough to break it? Could be going a OUAT route here, if they have kids they would be the product of true love, and very powerful, could play an important role in the future?

Lmao Cordelia blue balling James as revenge for him kissing Grace, good for you girl, good for you.

Oh Thomas POV, hope we get some Thomastair interaction, first kiss maybe?

I hope Anna and Thomas dont go in search of the killer, surely Anna is going to tell him to get his ass back inside? Or maybe she's about to talk to him about his feelings for Alastair? Is this gonna be the equivalent of Nora having to confirm to Alex that he's bi?

Nope the dumbass is going on patrol alone, I'm scared for him. Maybe he'll run into Alastair and they'll patrol together and talk about their feelings?

No James you love Cordelia, not Grace. Snap out of it man!

Jamie baby you owe no one anything, please talk to your parents and Jem!

Uh oh killers POV with Thomas out alone, I'm scared

Oh God the killer noticed Thomas and now we have a Thomas POV, I dont like where this is going. Alastair come save your man!

Nooo poor Lillian. I'm still scared for Thomas though, I think the killer is trying to lure him in

Uh oh, Thomas is about to get in so much trouble

Sshhhhiittt poor Thomas. Charlotte can surely help him tho, right? She knows he would never kill someone

Oooh so James has been going out in his sleep to try and stop the killer?

Is Enoch gonna tell them about Thomas' arrest? Will he be able to help Thomas?

I want a brother Enoch backstory!

Alastair was so following Thomas for his own peace of mind, and to protect him because he loves him.

I wonder why Bridgestock has it in for Thomas.

Consul Charlotte reminds me of President Ellen Claremont, I love it.

I think the pithos is what the killer used to remove the runes

I wonder if there's gonna be some Thomastair angst and confessions now they're locked in the sanctuary together for a day.

Why is the mortal sword in Paris? Seemingly with Will and Tessa? Was Charles tried by the mortal sword?

Charlotte and Henry have been TTC for years now with no results, my theory is that the miscarriage was complicated and caused a lot of scar tissue, and now Charlotte cant get pregnant, so once her time as Consul is up (which is presumably soon, given how the merry thieves theorize that Bridgestock is vying for Consul next term) she and Henry will adopt, either twin girls or 2 girls close in age, like 2/3 year age gap at max.

I really like Eugenia and would like to read more about her.

Alastair comforting Cordelia is so sweet, they are such an iconic sibling duo.

James thinking of Matthew, Christopher and Thomas as his brother's is so wholesome and sweet, I adore it!

[thejudgingtrash]

would you class percy as a morally grey character? i’m really interested to hear your input

Anon 2: Would u class percy as an Morally Gray character?

Hey there! Let me write that essay for you about morally gray Percy ^^

It’s not about whether Percy is a morally gray character or not, it’s about he has to be otherwise the story doesn’t make any sense. At least for me it wouldn’t.

Ashley (@gr33kg0ds) said in the tags of my dark!Percy post something along the line of people diminishing Percy’s character because they need him to be pure and fluffy and I wholeheartedly agree with that!

Just because Percy’s twelve doesn’t mean he’s pure and didn’t do unproblematic things. I’ll mostly refer to The Lightning Thief because that book is the Magnus Opus for Riordan and perfectly stands for Percy as a morally gray character from the very beginning of the saga. (Also the only book I’ve recently re-read)

As much as I love fanon with all the amazing artworks, debates, memes and jokes, analysis, cool edits and wonderful fanfics, projecting your version of Percy doesn’t make the image in your head real. Percy in canon is not the fun and fluffy boy you imagine him to be or which social media sites (Reddit, Twitter, Instagram and yes, also Tumblr) tend to make him to be. He’s a scrawny little sarcastic twerp that was the unpopular kid. He isn’t that cringy dude Tony Lopez doing that fucking weird TikTok dance (side note: I don’t even know who this person is and I don't care, I saw the video and immediately wanted to delete every social media app on my phone, so thanks Tony?), kissing his Yeezys goodnight, vibing to our lord and gay icon Taylord “T. Swizzle” Swift song and flexing them iPhone 11 Max Pros. Percy literally said that going to Burger King with his mother once in a while would be considered a luxury. He’s a poor bastard in literal sense.

Part of the problem with the distinction of Percy’s character and his motives stem from the fact that Percy is a sneaky unreliable narrator and we as the audience (especially if you’re younger) don’t question most of his behavior if you even question some (pretty sure that most of us only picked up weird stuff as adults). Everything seems plausible to you. But does it mean that his behavior is necessarily good? Something that would paint his character as good?

Like I’ve said, let’s take a look at TLT. The very beginning of everything and the wonderful line that gets quoted everywhere: “Look, I didn't want to be a half-blood”. 

The very first line that quoted everywhere or used as in moodboard and edits but its meaning and significance get brushed off for the most part. It immediately sets the tone and the atmosphere for the book and for Percy as a character. A(n in my opinion) morally gray character. The very first thing we hear from Percy is that he doesn’t want to be in this world. He’s an involuntary participant who has been (upon further reading) blackmailed and forced into this world and is only cooperating to get his mother back and said in regards to his father (who also stands for the Greek pantheon) ”well yeah, would be nice to know about my dad but I’ve survived without him the past twelve years so I don’t know, he wouldn’t be missed necessarily I guess?“ That pretty much tells you, it foreshadows, that we will be dealing with someone with grit, someone that fights back, someone that went through shit, someone that isn’t a goody two-shoed character. Does it mean he’s a terrible (in the sense of evil or bad) character from the get go? Not really, but it tells you in nuances that he won’t be the white shining knight you might expect from a fairy tale.

There is so much that little Perseus Jackson has to offer you directly in the first book. So much that paints him as a morally gray character. From the illegal candy stash all the way to tricking Procrustes into his own trap. He knows right from wrong and isn’t innocent by any means. He wants you to think he’s innocent. Yes, he hunts monsters and the book also tells you that some adults (Gabe) can also be monsters, but Percy’s personality is so interesting and full of facets which I love! He’s misleading you on purpose. Deflects, plays events down. He lies in front of you to others but you don’t really doubt it. Instead of questioning it, you understand it.

What distinguishes Percy from other male protagonists in that notion that the author doesn’t try to paint him as particularly good (the reader connects the dots, in reality) is pretty much that. Percy is neither inherently good or bad. He’s in the middle. He does lots of questionable things and his personality adds to it. Something that immediately comes to my mind is his lack of fear of consequences. He thinks in the short term and not in the long term. Of course, he’s caring about those that are close and important to him (Grover, Annabeth and his mother of course. And well. The world not getting destroyed by his weird father and fucking crazy uncle would be a plus). But Percy isn’t really a strategist (yet). Look at the Medusa head thingy. Annabeth and Grover warn him, that he’s gonna get his ass beat and he doesn’t care. That these gods could squish him in the end didn’t matter to him.

The Olympian gods are painted as these unpenetrable huge mighty force and some fuzzy annoyed twelve year old dipshit sends them the severed head of a monster - but not any monster, the monster his father had a role in creating (well, Athena for the most part, but you know what I mean). (Also, I know this kinda reckless behavior gets sorta rewarded but at first, everyone was like ‘NO, NO, NO!’ before Percy was glorious with his attempt). Percy essentially tells these ancient forces that drive the way of his new cosmos how shit‘s gonna work from now on.

Percy isn’t fear riddled and doesn’t think about the possible outcome. He manipulates, he lies, he persuades and all of this as soon as he hits twelve. But probably earlier. Pretty sure he had to become a believable lier in order to trick (survive being around) Gabe. Perseus is angry, he’s agitated. Had Riordan written Percy as a soft spoken, frightened, goody two-shoed kid, almost nothing in TLT and the follow-ups would have made sense. He’s the outcast, but slowly blossoms into the strength and muscles of the group. Of the entire camp. Someone that outsmarts opponents and wins battles. But he didn’t do that by playing nice and being a bootlicker.

TLT would’ve been a perfect standalone book that would have emphasized that Percy is an involuntary person sive) if you skip Kronos, leave a little bit foreshadowing with the prophecy out, tweak the talks with the gods and Annabeth’s first meeting and skip Luke and the scorpion at the end. The ending would’ve been “and so Percy had a first awesome summer vacation and found a group of friends for life” or so (aka PJO movie 1 in less shitty and more cohesive).

The morally gray character shrinks a little bit in the SOM because there lie straighter dangers ahead which dive more into the bigger picture and Percy grows more into the character who takes care of friends and but he does come back with TTC, and definitely BOTL and the St. Helens explosion.

Consequences of Percy’s interactions had people partially dying. There is doubt, there is guilt. But the show must go on. There are battles that have to be won. There is no big giving up, no big overturn for the bad guys.

Also... isn’t it interesting that we start with Percy saying ”look, I don’t want to be in this world“ in TLT and it ends with TLO where he says ”for once I didn’t look back“? The full circle? The way that accepting his fate took five books? To change Percy from being an involuntary participant to becoming voluntary? He didn’t want to be a half-blood, he didn’t want to be the kid in the prophecy, but he actively chose to be in the end. He went from a darker shade of gray to a mayhaps lighter, if you want to say so.

To conclude, I repeat myself again: it’s not about whether Percy is a morally gray character or not, it’s that he has to be.

Thanks for asking me about some meta stuff I really do like diving into these things here and there. Tumblr’s sorta glitchy, I do get notifications but I really don’t see asks, so I’m sorry if my response is mad late ^^

[traumab0nd]

Here are some thoughts I am having right now: here goes.

I’m typing as I think, pls bare with my neurotic ass thought pattern.

Everytime I immediately start to think of a memory I immediately forget them but I’m gonna start writing them down or recording them becus I disassociate while I type.

When I have sex, right b4 I climax or am close or just feel like I’m goin to... I feel sick to my mf stomache (TTC song) hahahahahaha... I notice I laugh as a defensive mechanism. On one of my acid trips, I remember laughing in pure pain as I recalled a traumatic memory I didn’t even know about.

Sex penetration triggers something in me that makes me gag then I want to puke and I immediately have to ask the guy to pull out if they don’t want my lunch on them. I’ve only ever not felt that way with one guy n idk he’s not interested in he even a little bit

I only like clit play. My vagina is so gross it makes me vomit I want to slice it off I hate my mouth pls remove my throat. My breast are disgusting, why do I have them. Pleas me take my Tongue it’s fucking awful

I can still taste him in my mouth and smell him in my skin please god get it off me me. Why does my vagina throb when I think about all the times I was molested as a child.I’m so filthy pls mummy bathe me outside in the backyard with the hos. The pressure high enough to spit hot fire at skin and leave a mark. Yes - hose me down like the animal I was because having such a decoupled and perverted and filthy disgusting child like that is unacceptable, why wouldn’t u bathe me outside in the backyard with no fences between our neighbors. Flashing my k*d genitals to everyone who wanted to see. Then drown me. Keep the water flowing up my nose until I pass out on the yard again. The grass prickly against my almost lifeless body. But u were a nurse n I was the patient u could practice on mummy so it was easy to feel like my life was in ur hands. I’m so filthy I’m so nast

Idk I lost my train if thought I’ll b back whenever I have another

[realinfertility]

It’ll Be Worth the Wait

Think before you act. 

That notion was drilled into my head throughout my childhood, accompanying me into adulthood. It served me well in decision-making; however, it may have been detrimental during the baby-making process.

I never wanted to rush into marriage. My husband, Joe, and I were in a relationship for about eight years before we finally got hitched. The big wedding, white dress, and five-tier cake wasn't a priority. In fact, it took me a long time to decide if I even wanted kids.

I wasn't a fan of the incessant yelling, irrational screaming, and crocodile tears, especially if that disturbed my evenings out dining and drinking with friends. I was one of those women sipping my wine and enjoying a meal at a restaurant, scowling at the family with screaming children at 8pm on a Friday night. How dare you interrupt our end-of-week celebratory drinks demon child...

Joe, on the other hand, has always wanted children. He wasn't in a hurry and never, ever forced it on me, though he knew that was a part of what he eventually wanted. I am nothing if I am not fair, so I considered it. I began to pay attention; could Joe be the man to change my mind about having kids?

Ladies, you know what I'm talking about. Every interaction with children becomes a test. You subtly slide parenting questions into a conversation to calculate where he stands. I started to notice the way kids watch Joe inquisitively and giggle when he looks back, finding his calming charm as amusing as I do. They relish in delight when he entertains them with peek-a-boo, feel comforted by him when they fall, voluntarily hold his hand when crossing the street, and mutually exhibit a sense of ease. Over time, I recognized children are worth more than just dinner disruptions. In hindsight, I think I was just waiting until I was ready.

This made me realize that I've always been waiting for something; in fact, most people are. Waiting for a promotion at work, waiting for the perfect man/woman to love, waiting for the next vacation, waiting for the right time to buy your dream car, waiting for the next season of Handmaids Tale. It never ends. Waiting for a baby takes the cake. I'm aware this is a choice I've made only within the past few years; I can't say I've been pining for a baby since childhood, however now that I know what I want, no, need, I can wholeheartedly say that I get it.

As a Type-A person, I would work hard to achieve my goal whenever I've wanted something. Infertility is a different beast, but UNEXPLAINED infertility is a fickle bitch. Essentially, you can try as hard as you want to find answers, but you don't have any, and neither do your doctors. What the actual fuck does that mean? I'm still working that out for myself, yet I am sure that those who have been given this same half-assed diagnosis can relate to the feeling.

The infamous "THEY" say that good things come to those who wait. Welp, I waited and now feel like I am being tortured as a result. When you're young, they tell you to wait until you're ready to have children - AKA fall in love, get married, and be financially stable. Sound advice. As you get older, you'll notice this traditional notion begins to wane. Love, marriage, and money don't matter as much once the big 3-0 is looming. It becomes all about having grandchildren, whether you're married or not. Not only is your biological clock ticking, but so are your parents'. Your time is expiring, and apparently, so is theirs.

Do I regret waiting this long? No. I stand firm to my choice, not buckling under pressure. I spent my 20s focusing on career and travel. Now my 30s are focused on creating a family. My journey is more difficult than I originally anticipated, but I know I will persevere. I'll admit, I regret waiting almost a full year to start TTC after we got married for stupid reasons, like fitting into a bridesmaid dress or going to a bachelorette party. Why do we so commonly do this to ourselves?

If you are ready to have a baby, stop waiting. You don't know when your baby will come. It could happen on your first try or your twentieth try; just know it will be worth the wait.

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

okay, try to stay with me here because I predict that I'm gonna get off track at some point- mythomagic. It's supposed to be like, the pjo universe version of pokemon, right? That's how Nico made it sound in ttc. Now, Percy had never heard of the game before Nico...but let's just safely assume 14 year old Percy 'Ball is Life'-'Sk8r Boi' Jackson felt too cool(tm) for trading card games. But Nico and Frank know it, and they seem to have vastly different tastes in everything else so we can assume it's a fairly popular game. But don't you think its? Odd? That in a universe where greek gods are real that a hugely popular game is about greek gods? Suspicious. Consider: the creators of the game are demigods, who made it as a....sort of fun way to learn about mythology for young demigods so they have a faint idea what they're dealing with once their scent starts getting too strong. Like, you know how riordan wrote the Greek Gods and Greek Heroes books intending for them to be read by kids in school learning mythology to make it fun and easy for them? Mythomagic could be the book universe's version for young demigods. Like, say you're a mortal parent, your kid isn't old enough for camp but she's getting close, you want her to have some basic understanding? Oh, honey, look at this cool game I heard of! Plus, apart from teaching them information about the gods and monsters, the whole card game battle aspect could help them develop strategies and shit, you know? Things these kids need. So imagine that was the original purpose of mythomagic, but then it like...took off. pokemon-level culture phenomenon. everyone under a certain age is lowkey obsessed with it, even normal mortal people who don't know it's original purpose. The creators weren't expecting that, but hey, more exposure to more potential demiod kids, right! (Also money). So say we get a few years into the craze. It's bigger than ever. Some Hephaestus kids have finally teamed up and invented a brand of electronics that don't attract monsters. The creators launch a new feature: Mythomagic Go! fans everywhere go wild, althouh the mortals would never guess the actual purpose of the app- a demigod opens the app, and gets messages like 'there's a hellhound in your area' 'there's a dracaena three blocks from here', little messages like that- and they're like "sweet! I'll walk in the other direction!" because its ACTUALLY TRACKING THE MONSTERS FOR THEM. GAME CHANGER. but the mortals, they can't see or even normally be hurt by the monsters- so it just works like a normal game app, like a little cartoon snake lady pops up on the screen and they fight her on the phone, not realizing the lady standing six feet away shoveling mini hotdogs into her mouth is an Actual Monster. Everyone loves this- except maybe sometimes the gods. When they venture out into the world their little animated self pops up on the game screens and suddenly wherever they are is flooded with kids on their phones saying things like 'man I'm gonna kick Zeus' ass!'. There's pages upon pages of conspiracy theories online when everyone notices Apollo hasn't been seen anywhere in the game for months (Apollo cries when he reads them). Hades doesn't pop out into the mortal world often, and when he does 90% of the time it's because he has vaguely urgent news for Nico, so imagine one time he didn't bother to change into Modern Day Mortal Clothes like the gods normally do, he's in his robes, and they're in a mostly empty street talking, but all the sudden a rush of game players are on the block challenging cartoon Hades to a battle, and when they spot Actual Hades the mortals are just like 'DUUUUUUUDDDE YOUR HADES COSPLAY IS SO SICK', and Nico is trying his absolute hardest not to laugh, and Hades, Lord of the Underworld, is looking at this group of mortal children wearing merch with his face on it and is just like ".....What The Fuck Did You Just Say To Me".

this entire post has been sponsored by my mind coming up with that scene of Hades being called a cosplayer. goodnight.

[ladytea19]

Call Out My Name (AJ Styles One Shot)

A/N: Hello beautiful people! So I had a spark of inspiration last night while listening to music. I was listening to the Weeknd Call Out My Name and thought it would be a great idea for a smut fic. Also myself and my friends in the TTC have grown to like a certain wrestler and thought he would be perfect for this 😊 Mentions of oral sex, daddy kink, and sexual content

Tag List: @tacoshu @gold--gucciempress @littledeadrottinghood @wwevampireamongkpop @evilangel84 @the-carter-mob-don @kingslayers-queen @nerdlife0612 @queenofthearchitect and the rest of the TTC!

It was our 5 year anniversary with my husband AJ. We've met in high school and been sweethearts ever since. Even while he was on the road wrestling, I always managed to stay faithful to him. He was my everything; he always made me feel special.

I got home from work that evening to find a nicely wrapped large box with a smaller box on top along with a note from AJ.

Dinner reservations tonight at 8. I bought something for you to wear. I'll see you tonight darlin’ -AJ

I smiled at his note and opened the large box on our bed. It was a crimson red dress that stopped above my knees and it hugged my body showing off all my curves. The smaller box held a pair of black stilettos. After I showered, I took the flexi rods out of my hair and added my favorite moisturizer and holding spray. My brown curls looked fabulous as I put on the dress that AJ bought for me. He always had good taste, I grinned. I put on some lip gloss and eyeshadow and I admired myself in the bathroom mirror. My honey brown skin radiated under the lights and reflected onto my brown eyes giving off a goldish hue.

Then I heard a car pull up in our driveway along with a car horn. That must be AJ. I slipped on my stilettos and walked downstairs to meet AJ at our front door. He was dressed in an all black suit with a crimson vest and tie along with black dress shoes with crimson accents. His hair was neatly pressed and hung freely. Those beautiful blue eyes met mine and his lips opened in awe as he saw me.

“Wow,” he said. “You look phenomenal.”

I smiled at my husband as I gave him a quick kiss on the lips.

“Well you have yourself to thank for that,” I told him. “You picked out the outfit.”

AJ chuckled. “Have a good point there. All set to go?”

I nodded. “Yep all set.”

He opened the door and held out his arm. “Shall we?”

“Such a gentleman,” I smiled.

Dinner went smoothly. We talked as if we were best friends hanging out on the couch. And he courted me to the highest extent. He held out my chair, he complimented me, asked me about my day, the whole work.

Once dessert was served, AJ poured two glasses of champagne and handed one to me.

“Five years ago, I married my best friend and soulmate. You always stood by me while I was on the road, you were there for my best days and worst days. You make me laugh, you make me cry, and I thank God every day that He has blessed me with someone like you. Happy anniversary baby.”

My heart was touched. He sounded so warm and genuine. How did I ever get so lucky to be married to someone like him?

“Happy anniversary,” I said holding back tears.

As we reached our front door and went inside, AJ stopped me from going upstairs.

“Wait here. Our anniversary isn't over yet. I have a surprise for you.”

I raised an eyebrow. “I thought you didn't want to do gifts this year?”

AJ smiled. “I promise you'll like this one. Please?”

He gave that adorable pouty face that made it hard for me to say no to him. Those baby blue eyes of his looked at me like a newborn pup. I gave in.

“Fine. I'll wait here.”

“Great! I'll be right back!”

As AJ ran up the stairs, I went and sat on the couch and took off my shoes. As sexy as I looked in them, my feet couldn't take wearing heels for that long. I scrolled through my phone for about 15 minutes before AJ tapped my shoulder and held out his hand.

“Okay. I'm ready for you now.”

I looked around. “Where's the surprise you were talking about?”

“It's upstairs. Come and see.”

I gave a puzzled look and grabbed his hand as I followed him upstairs to our bedroom. It was dimly lit with candles and it smelled of cranberries. I turned and look at AJ.

“AJ what's…” Before I could finished AJ pinned me to the wall and pressed his lips to mine in a deep kiss. His tongue danced around in my mouth and one hand went into my hair and the other rested on my waist. My arms wrapped around his neck and I moaned into his mouth. I could taste spearmint in the kiss (He must've brushed his teeth while he was up here) and could smell the cologne he wore. My knees felt weak as I was lost in the moment. Our tongues wrestled for dominance as we kissed and I bit AJ's bottom lip just enough for him to feel it.

AJ gave a soft growl as he broke the kiss. “Oh darlin’ you know better than to tease me like that,” he whispered.

I smirked. “I can't help it. It's fun.”

AJ gave a dark chuckle. “So that's how you want to play?” He pressed his lips to the right side of my neck and bit down. I hissed in pleasure and wrapped my arms around his shoulders.

“AJ,” I whispered. “Please.”

“Begging already?” he chuckled against my neck. “I barely touched you sweetheart.” He kissed the same spot on my neck where he bit me. He sucked and nibbled on that spot until he left a mark. I moaned softly to myself trying not to submit to him just yet. But damn it was a struggle fighting back. He knew all of my sensitive spots and the perfect way to tease each one. His hand went lower to my ass and gave it a light squeeze while his other hand grabbed my hair and pulled my head back to give him better access to my neck. He peppered kisses to my neck and gave soft nibbles to my neck working his way down to my breasts.

He slowly unzipped my dress and gently guided it off my shoulders. There I stood in the crimson and black lingerie I wore as my husband eyed every curve of my body with a lick of his lips. His eyes filled with lust as he stared at me.

“God you look amazing,” he whispered then chuckled. “Oh I'm gonna have fun with you tonight.” AJ took off his jacket, shirt, vest, and tie and I felt heat pool in my stomach and between my legs as I saw his naked upper half illuminated by the candles in our room. I bit my lip and my breath started to quicken.

“Like what you see?” he mused.

I was too lost in thought to say anything. AJ gave a small laugh “Speechless are we? Let me change that.” AJ went back to work teasing me giving kisses and licks to my collarbone stopping at the area where my breasts were visible. He gave a kiss to the exposed area and I could feel his hands reach around my back and unclasp my bra. My breasts were now exposed and my nipples perked once the cool air hit them. I shivered as AJ traced his lips from my breast to my right nipple as he caressed my left breast with his hand. His tongue swirled around my nipple and he twisted the other one with his fingers. I shuddered and moaned all while my hands tugged at his hair.

“Oh AJ,” I moaned. “Daddy please.”

I could feel AJ smirk against my breast. “Oh you must be in the mood now if you're calling me Daddy already. Patience darlin’ there's still more I wanna do.” He gave my left nipple a tug and I hissed. His tongue traced back up to my lips as he kissed me, his left hand still massaging and teasing my breast. The heat between my legs intensified as I felt his left hand trace up my thigh. Even in the dimly lit room, AJ could see the blush on my cheeks and my eyes swim with lust and want. My lips quivered as I anticipated his touch. His hand crept closer to the waistband of my panties and I let out a shudder when he slipped his hand inside.

His two forefingers danced around my clit feeling how wet I was getting. I bit my lip to hold back another moan but then he pressed my lips to my neck again. AJ's tongue traced a line up my neck until his lips reached the shell of my ear.

"I wanna hear your voice sweetheart. Don't be shy. I want to hear how I make you feel." He dropped my panties with one tug and opened my legs a bit wider. I could feel his fingers against my folds as he covered his fingers with my juices. I whimpered and moaned and I could feel my legs get even weaker with every touch.

“Fuck AJ,” I growled. “Stop teasing me.”

AJ gave a chuckle against my lips. “Or what darlin’?” He picked me up and laid me on our bed. His eyes darkened with want as he stared down at me. I could feel the growing bulge through his dress pants as he trailed kisses down my stomach to the sensitive bundle of nerves between my legs. He kissed along the insides of my thighs, his beard tickling me as he got closer to my core. My hands tangled in his hair as I panted heavily anticipating what was to come next.

AJ gave a soft blow of air to my clit causing me to shiver. Then I could feel his lips against my sensitive core and my back immediately arched off the bed.

“Oh fuck AJ,” I moaned. My hands tightened in his hair as I pulled. He gave a growl and he sucked on my pussy harder licking up every drop of essence I had. I moaned his name louder and I could feel sweat forming on my body, getting more hot and bothered as he continued. His tongue swirled around my clit and then I could feel his index finger centered at my entrance.

“Do you want more baby?” he asked me after licking his lips.

“Yes Daddy,” I breathed. “Please.”

AJ gave a chuckle as he pushed his finger into my soaking core. The stretch was exhilarating as I moaned and whimpered desiring more.

“Oh darlin’ you're so tight,” AJ seductively whispered. “Looks like I need to relax you a bit before you can take me.” AJ pumped his finger in and out of my while going back to suck on my clit. I ran my fingers through my husband's hair as I continued to moan out his name. My body felt like an inferno and I wanted AJ's touch to soothe me. He continued to pump his finger into my pussy and then slowly added a second one increasing his speed gradually as he went. His tongue danced around my clit and I could feel myself getting close.

“AJ,” I whimpered. “I'm so close. Daddy please.”

AJ pumped his fingers more quickly and he increased his speed on my clit. Before I could orgasm he abruptly stopped, taking his fingers out of me and moved his face toward my lips. I could nearly cry.

“Why did you stop?” I whined.

AJ gave a dark chuckle as he licked his fingers clean. “I want you to cum with me inside of you. I want you to feel every inch of me.”

My breathing was rapid and staggered as I watched AJ unbuckle his pants and pulled them down along with his underwear. My God, his dick… he was long, thick, and extremely hard. I could feel my pussy throb in anticipation wondering if he could fit inside me. AJ slowly crawled up to me and kissed me. I could taste my juices on his lips and I moaned into his mouth. He pulled away after a few moments.

“You know, chocolate has always been my favorite treat,” he smirked. “And you're the best one I had yet.”

I gasped softly and my body rose up and down as I stared into my husband's eyes. Those innocent blue eyes were now an intense silver as they swam with lust and desire. His lips slightly opened as a trace of my essence lingered on the corner of his mouth. He parted my legs as he settled between them, his dick positioned at my entrance.

“Ready?” he asked.

I nodded. He slowly pushed inside me, the stretch filling and burning the deeper he went inside. I grabbed his shoulders and whimpered as he went all the way in. AJ shuddered against my lips as he grabbed my sides.

“You feel amazing baby,” he whispered. He slowly pulled out of me and pushed back in now creating a steady rhythm. The way he filled me was intoxicating. His dick filled me perfectly and the way he moaned my name drove me insane. AJ's hands gripped my sides even tighter as he continued to pump inside me. His moans turning into animalistic growls as he went faster.

“AJ yes!” I moaned. “Just like that Daddy.”

AJ's breath quickened and I could feel sweat form on his back. My nails dug into his back as I could feel my orgasm building up. AJ increased his speed and his moans got louder and deeper.

“Fuck baby,” AJ growled. “I'm getting close.”

He pumped even faster as I felt my own climax approaching. Tears formed in the corner of my eyes as I felt his dick hit my spot repeatedly.

“Call out my name darlin’,” AJ moaned. “Let me hear you.”

A few more pumps and my orgasm hit like an intense wave. My nails clawed at his back as I screamed his name.

“OH AJ!!!”

I could hear AJ moan my name and tense up as he came inside me a few moments later after helping me ride out my orgasm. He sighed deeply trying to catch his breath as he pulled out of me. The candles were almost burned out when AJ pulled me close to his chest as he pressed a kiss to my forehead.

“So did you like your present?”

I giggled softly into his chest, looked up at him and smiled.

“I did. Thank you.” I placed a kiss on his cheek and he chuckled. He pulled me into a hug and nuzzled his face into my hair.

“Happy anniversary darlin’”

[catching-kisses]

Rambling because I've been pent up ..

Mara had her first ultrasound today 😊 she's 7 weeks 6 days and there's only one baby. I'm so freaking pumped for her. Like I'm low-key jealous because I would love to have another baby, but now isn't the right time. So I'm just super excited to have a friend that's going to have a baby. I didn't have any friends that had had kids when I was pregnant and now 2 years later my best friend since high school is having her first so it's awesome. We made a pregnancy pact this summer when she told me they were trying, and then when I had that scare I was like, "you better get pregnant quick if I am," but really I can't do it. Plus I feel like it should be all about her since it's her first and I wouldn't want her to feel anything like overshadowed or whatever. Not that it would, but I want her to have all of the excitement to herself. You know what I mean? Artur and I think the best time for us to ttc again would be in late 2020. In October I should be done with school and get a job. Then the next March will be Maddie's 3rd birthday. The next September would be when I would like to start trying again because then we'd have a summer baby if we get pregnant fast and a fall baby if it takes a bit longer. And who knows, maybe by then Mara and Logan will want a second 🤷 I feel like the next time we try it'll be fast. We ttc'd Maddie for like 5 months actively and 10 months overall. We were going to take a break from it but that last month I decided to take a testosterone supplement for a few days before my ovulation because I read that it could help and what do you know, I got pregnant. So next time I'll try that the first few months and if it doesn't work I'll try other things. It'll be hard waiting for almost 2 years, but I really want to work on myself and get started in a career. Also, we would like to buy a starter 3 bedroom home before we add to our family. I would love to just buy our dream home, but I think since we'll be getting a VA loan we won't be able to afford a 4 bedroom house with an office, a family room, and a giant ass kitchen/dining area. Maybe once I'm working and earning hopefully upward for 17k a year and we pay off our business we'll be able to get our credit shiny and save up for something nice. Idk. I'm just trying to see all the good things life has in store for us. Life is good and I need to stop being such a fucking pansy about everything.

[ravenclaw-momma]

My husband is such a pain in the ass and I love him so much.

When we started TTC baby #2 I was CERTAIN we would have 3 or 4 kids total. & ryan came to me when I first got pregnant and said he wants this to be our last baby. We talked about it a lot, I cried a lot, but ultimately came to the conclusion that he was right. We agreed after Odin is born ryan will get snipped.

Over the last few months I’ve gotten really comfortable with that. Last pregnancy I have to get through, last stressful and exhausting newborn phase, last time I’ll have to work my ass off to lose pregnancy weight. & then get to just raise my kids, homeschool, and grow my business. It’s starting to sound really nice!

So yesterday we’re out & someone asks us if we’re going to have anymore. And I’m like “nope!! This is definitely our last!” And my FREAKING HUSBAND goes “well... maybe! You never know!”

?????????? We haven’t gotten a chance to talk about it but WHAT THE FUCK. If this man comes to me a year after Odin is born & im all settled in my shit & back into shape & he goes “I want another baby.” Im going to kill him. And then 100% absolutely have another baby with him because I want all of the children.

[lameunknown]

music meme letters: D I C K

DA:DG:SLDFHLAD:KDSLF:HK:LDAGK G O O D B Y E!!!! 

D: a song that reminds me of a fictional character

gonna cheat and go with the most kylux song ever written. ifhy by tyler the creator

I: a song that gives me butterflies

coincidentally this one is also by ttc. see you again. i don’t project it onto anyone in particular but it’s so fucking powerful, and “i wonder if you look both ways when you cross my mind” is the best lyric anyone has ever come up with

C: a song from a soundtrack

my two fav su songs. :”) helped me through a bit of a tough time as well. 

K: a song I know all the lyrics to

there are very many but i’ll go with the latest john song i’ve been obsessed with. heart wrenching and amazing as ever, i’ll even excuse the weak ass ending ♥ 

[yutark]

@rkhyungwon

⦑ ;; kkt ;; ⦒ ⇰ yuta • there is no theme, but my parents like to make a big deal out of it • we both know that i’d have more creative freedom in trc. nova isn’t exactly known as a company that allows their idols to shine with self produced songs and self expression • and what’s the point in putting in effort to train under one company if you’re going to debut under another? isn’t that insincere? and cheap? like you’d just settle for whatever… i don’t like that • and why are you trying to turn me off trc, huh? you want to get away from me that badly, hyung? you’d have to try harder than threaten me with having a hard time as a trainee • but thank you for returning to my point exactly, you also wouldn’t want to sign under anyone else • ㅎㅎ  • actually, forget i even messaged you 

( sms » 귀여운 고양이 ) → im sure it’ll be fun either way → also are you really pissed at me right now? → all i’m doing is giving you some truth right now hyungwon. i’ve been a trainee for four months and i’d thought you’d rather that than sugar coated words. it’s your life for two years, you don’t want to go in thinking things aren’t what they are [ deleted! ] → yeah. trc is know for letting their idols shine and self-produce. but you have to get there first. debut. as a trainee, from 5am to 11pm, my ass is trcs. they decide what dance i learn, what songs i need to know to sing, whats good and whats not. and yeah, we get independent study and free practice, but you’re a new trainee against people who have been here for years. you spend all that time trying to catch up. any freedom you want, you’re going to have to work your ass for.  [ deleted! ] → i’m a trainee. i never see tiger jk. last time he prob saw me perform was the ttc. i spend all my time with instructors and all they want from you is the best. its a job. sometimes you need to take the one you don’t want to get to the one you want. that’s all im fucking saying.  [ deleted! ] → if you sign to nova, you can get to work on catching up sooner. and when the chance arises, come to trc. [ deleted! ] → i’m not trying to turn you off anything. i don’t want to get away from you. you’re talented enough to be here, and you can get here. how many times do i have to say it? you will get here.  → i’m not threatening you, it’s just the fucking truth.   [ deleted! ] → despite what you think, i’m happy for you. because you deserve to be noticed, you have skills and i know you want this. whether you choose to sign or not, is your choice. and yes, if it were me, i would have rejected it.  → i’m sorry being honest with you about what you want to sign up for pisses your off hyungwon. ill shut up next time 

[mrsaries]

Cd 3, kinda light period today but whatever, i look like shit, and feel like it so whatever. I've always been a good girl, only d4ink at party, never smoke etc.. heck my 1st boyfriend at 22yrs old was my now husband(trust issues) This ttc thing fuck it, im tired, 8m depressed, w3 both are , he has the day off, my self love worth whatever down Came to my moms house gonna drown my sorrows in thos bootleg bottle of rum straight from cuba from family friends gift fuck it...im I know its not the best or right answer Im gonna get drunk and nasty all up on my husband whos at the bbq fire pit now Also ive semi been starvingmyslef 2 lose weight bc a lady shouldnt bee over 200lbs but whatever its mainly in my ass and i declare Im.damn hott anyways.. So enjoy my 1 selfie non anonymous