#my dad and my aunt are sleeping in shifts so he's never alone

[reality-exodus]

Th Last Hours of a Herondale

Ch. 6 What May the Future Hold

Pairing: Matthew Fairchild x Herondale reader Word count Warnings: use of alchohol and drugs, mntion of blood, violence and seizures, contains sexual scene and harassment (this applies for the whole story in general not this specific chapter only)

“Don’t worry, she bit her tongue or something” my father tried to assure the boys, my vision was clearing. I was obliged to stare up, I only saw Matthew’s scared expression upside down. It actually took me some time to recognize him.

“Math?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper, I felt weak, I couldn’t turn my head to either side.

“Hey, hey you are alright.” He spoke as he moved my head to his lap.  My gaze met James’ and my father’s who pulled me in his arms. I tried to hug him but I felt I didn’t have the power to motion my arms around his figure.

“James, can you take her to her room? I have to help her change, and Will someone has to stay.” My mother spoke reason.

“I am okay” I spoke assuringly, only for my dad to hear. I felt his lips plant a kiss on my hair. “Alright” he agreed and I felt my body shifting. One hand under my knees and the other on my back. I placed my head on James’ shoulder.

“Gave us a scare Lin.” James commented and looked down at me as he was walking, I could feel his figure shake from shock.

“This is how I feel when you shadow up.” I whispered and smiled a him, I maintained my eyes closed. “I want Math to come as well, he shouldn’t be alone.” I assumed he stayed behind as I couldn’t see him.

“Who told you I wasn’t coming” I heard his voice and smiled immediately, as he walked a bit faster so I would see him.

“Set her down sweetie.” My mom spoke and I felt my brother kneel and locate me to the bed.

“Don’t leave.” I requested, I was looking at Math more than my brother.

“Who said we were? We will be right outside.” Math assured me and leaned kissing my hand before going out of the room with James so my mother would help me change into a sleepware.

“How are you feeling my love?” My mom asked me as she removed my shoes firstly and then my gloves.

“Tired… Dizzy.” I explained and held on her to sit up so she can untangle the strings on the back of my dress. She didn’t speak again as she helped me into a more comfortable dress. I laid back down as she sat next to me and with a napkin she begun removing my makeup.

“Dear, do you remember what you saw?” My mom asked me and my eyes immediately shone, I could feel the tears.

“I saw aunt Sophie crying, she was grieving… it was Barbara… I- I can hear her screams, the sorrow… I get dysphoric and—” I tried to explain before sobbing again.

“Its alright… You ought to get some sleep love. James and Matthew will be here.” She assured me as she covered me with a blanket. I closed my eyes.

Matthew Fairchild.

It was as if all the alcohol I drunk tonight evaporated within the three minutes I saw Y/N spasming on the ground. I knew what was happening to her was hurtful and a bad experience but I thought it was mostly mental, never had I pondered what the physical pain would be.

Me and James were right outside of her room while aunt Tessa was aiding her into comfort. We stood silently until the door opened. “Mom, how is Lina?” James asked, I could feel his tremors, I had those tremors as well.

“She is sleeping. I just, I do not want her to be alone James… Matthew. Stay here. I have to go and tell Will everything is fine. We will be at the ballroom in case anything happens.” Aunt Tessa spoke.

“Of course mom.” James spoke and we entered the room. I had only seen it four times and it was only for a while. It was filled with books and notes. James walked to Y/N and checked her breathing. Her lips curved into a smile.

“I am not dead, don’t get too excited.” She commented and I snorted at the joke.

“How alive are you on a scale from 1-10.?” I asked and sat on the edge of the bed.

“Well, 2.5. Maybe 3” Y/Nreplied, even tired she managed to look good half conscious.

“See practically dead.” I responded, I was trying to hide the horror for both me and James. I could feel my parabatai’s stress overflowing his energy. I was sure it was the combination of his small interdimensional trip, Barbara’s passing out and Y/N’s seizure that came on top. James was sitting at the armchair across the room and he was silent and thankfully, my amusing dialogue seem to have Y/N forget about the presence of James.

“Almost like you after a hangover.” Y/Nspoke, her voice was getting raspier, highlighting the exhaustion her organism had gone through. She was hugging her pillow. James’ eyes were pinned upon her figure, he was behind her.

“Oh having a hangover, includes the pause of alcohol for several hours… Bold of you to assume I have hangovers.” I commented and tried to gain an eyecontact with my parabatai.

“Oh, what can I say? I am bold” She giggled.

“It’s a twin thing…” I spoke trying to get James in the conversation.

“What is?” James asked and looked at me, his expression puzzled.

“Boldness” I replied. “Where does your mind wander off Jamie?” I asked.

“To his blonde platinum angel that just arrived to our humble city. Perhaps, next time you could fight your urges and not let ladies so abruptly and rudly. This could be a scandal.” Y/N threw a nail at him, I cannot say it was unfairly.

“Yes, and thank you for the rescue… I saw that Aiden came for dance.” James remarked and looked at his sister with a sigh. “At least it was for a while…” He commented.

“Yeah, then it was Alastair, it goes from bad to worse” I chuckled lightly. Alastair is unbearable and frustrating, this person really has no soul and I cannot understand how him and Cordelia were siblings, she was so different, so sweet and kind and beautiful. He was mean and an awful person, remembering the days back in the academy had my blood boil.

“I, actually, happened to like Alastair. He is pleasant…” she spoke and I gulped looking down at Y/N.

“You cannot be serious.” I exclaimed making the twins jump at the sudden outburst. I regretted my reaction instantly, nonetheless I couldn’t withstand listening to good words for the person that caused my family so much pain. I felt my heart clench as I saw James shot up wide eyed and Y/Nsat up and looked at me. I wish I had some booze. “Sorry.” I sighed.

“Its okay, are you okay though?” Y/Nasked and looked at me her grey eyes were tired, she rolled her body closer to me and touched my knee gently she was covered with a woolen blanket and I dragged the blanket slowly and covered her feet better, James seemed to be dragged back into his own world.

“I am just shaken Lina, and I sincerely dislike Alastair and I do not prefer to spend my time speaking about a subject like him” I explained and patted her back feet above the blanket in a comforting way and offered her a smile. Even at a state like she was right now she was concerned about me. “How about you? Seriously though? What happened?” I asked her.

“Matthew Fairchild, serious. James, dearest, note the date” Y/Nresponded with a chuckle.

“Will though Y/N Herondale be serious to?” James asked me and I looked at him.

“Look who decided to come to our universe.” She asked him, Lina’s gaze was trying to lighten the atmosphere and she darted from her twin to me, she realized that we were seriously wanted to speak about it. “It was an accident” she admitted.

“How can an accident cause this Y/N?” James asked. He was anxious and looked at me for some back up.

“What he means, is that you seemed fully prepared, and then you were missing a glove.” I explained what James was unable to express.

“I was waltzing with Alastair and we were speaking. And then there was the scream, he signed to me that Barbara was collapsing and it was a reflex I tried catching her and the comp on her hair I think, was caught in the lace of my glove. And then I touched her cheek. Helped Anna undo the crochet. This is when I realized what I had gotten myself into…” Her calm was indescribable, maybe it was the exhaustion she didn’t have the power to be as creeped out as we were. “Everything started blurring and thankfully I saw Thomas and you, James next to him and you knew that something was completely wrong.” She concluded her summary.

“Alright, I will be the one to shoot the one million question. What did you see?” I wondered and looked at Y/Nwhose face darkened immediately. She looked uneased but I didn’t take the question back.

“I mean, I want to know too. From what I get, the most serious the seizure the worse the vision.” James added he had stood up and moved around sitting on his sister bed next to her head, he needed to see her reactions as he supported my question.

“I think I saw the future, is this enough?” Y/Nspoke and sat up next to James so we could talk better he covered her with blanket that was dislocated owing to her movement.

“Well no it is not, because literally five minutes ago I became a shadow.” James revealed “And then Barbara collapsed and the next moment we are hurrying to get you out of the ball room which we didn’t do.” He added summarizing our side of the story.

“I had the seizure in front of everyone? Great…” Y/Ngroaned and covered her face, she was blushing from embarrassment.

“Do not be concerned we hid you behind a pillar” I spoke up and sighed “Honestly there were no people. Everyone was with Barbara. Your parents made sure to maintain the audience limited.” I assured her as she laid again this time on James’ lap he was stroking her hair carefully. “What did you see though?” I asked again bringing the hot topic again.

“I was laying at the infirmary, I was laying on a bed and the pain I felt was unbearable. It wasn’t a muscle or a stab wound. It was general, eating me from inside out. I was feeling a weigh on my torso, something that wouldn’t allow oxygen, my heart was pulsating heavily with difficulty. It felt as if time was coming by slowly and I could hear each heartbeat in my eardrums so loudly. On my side I saw aunt Sophie…” Y/Npaused, her gaze was looking blankly at the floor. She closed her eyes briefly and took a deep breath and I exchanged a  glance with James who signed me to give her time.

“Aunt Sophie was weeping. I have never seen anyone crying. There was so much pain. Mental but mostly physical. My point of view started raising as If I was seeing everything hang from the ceiling. As in my visual field I saw aunt Sophie crying over Barbara. I was trying to speak to her hug her move closer to her and the more I was trying, the more I wasn’t able to breath, the more I was aching, aching so much as if a- a hand tore right through my heart and ripped my heart out in such slow pace I could feel every ounce of it--” Her voice was raising the more she was narrating her experience, her vision and it felt as if she was getting lost at her own collections, reliving it. I allowed James to handle this situation he seemed somewhat more familiar with it. But he didn’t.

“Hey hey, easy. We got the picture” James spoke and shook her abruptly to get her out of the depth of her ponders. I didn’t want to mention it but she basically predicted the death of Barbara. My head was with Thomas as I felt as if our Barbara was already gone. I didn’t speak of it, the last thing Y/N needed was to be more upset. “How about you get some sleep?” James asked.

“Alright but, promise to not leave?” Y/Nrequested and laid back on her pillow. Her gaze was first on me and then to James.

“We aren’t going anywhere Lina” James spoke and kissed her forehead. We didn’t move from our spots. 

[arizona2004]

Courts of Love and Hate CH5

Nyx x Juniper (Tamlins daughter)

WC: 2411

Chapter 1

Nyx

It takes me several hours before I come up with a way to make my father think of an arranged marriage as a solution to uniting our court with Spring and a whole day before I get my parents alone to bring it up.

My aunts and uncles lurk around the entire afternoon and evening following my stay in the Spring Court. It’s annoying, but it’s not like I can blow up at them and tell them to leave without making them worry, so I just wait anxiously. 

I barely get any sleep that night as they drink and joke. Tomorrow at lunch is my chance; Uncle Cas will leave for the Steppes in the morning, Mor is on her way to the continent, Amren is headed to the Summer Court, and I can only hope Az doesn’t stop by for lunch. Though, I could probably bring up the conversation without him dissuading my parents.

So in the morning, after barely sleeping and being completely unfocused while training with Dad and Uncle Az, I eat a quick breakfast and go to my room to memorize exactly what I’m going to say at lunch. 

As we sit down at the table, I barely pay attention to my food and try to look like I’m thinking. It takes a few minutes, furrowing my brow and barely eating my food, for my mother to speak up. 

“Nyx, baby, what are you thinking about?”

“Hmm?” I ask absentmindedly as Az walks in and try not to seem annoyed by it.

“You look like you’re thinking pretty hard. What’re you thinking about?”

“Oh, um, just how to make peace with the Spring Court,” I say, “but that’s difficult because we don’t trust one another. The only way we’d ever be really civil, I think, is an unbreakable bond between courts.”

“There’s no such thing, Nyx. Unless you mean marriage,” Dad says. I try to look like I hadn’t even thought of that and hope the surprise shows.

“And we would never ask you to do such a thing-” Mom says from his side.

“I would do it. Marry someone if it means peace between our families. If it means we don’t have to wonder if the Spring Court will decide to attack us or our people in the future.”

“Nyx-”

“You don’t have to ask. I’m offering. If you think this could solve the issue, then I’ll do it.” 

They look at one another for a moment, conversing in their heads before my father says, “We’ll think about it.” I can feel uncle Az looking at me but refuse to meet his eyes. It was stupid to think I could bring this up with him in the room; he’ll surely know I’m lying about something.

-

Juniper

I don’t get a new letter from Nyx for a while after he leaves, but when I do, he tells me it went well, bringing the idea up to his parents and that they’re thinking about it. I hope everything continues going well and they agree to the marriage because I’d hate to live a lie, but not for the first time, I’m considering running away if I have to.

Shortly after Nyx and I first started writing to one another, I got into an argument with my father, and he grounded me. That’s the first time the idea popped into my head. I can shift, not as much as my father or Kai, but I have some powers.

I’m certain I could change some of my facial features and the color of my hair. Maybe even the size of my breasts or waist. Or even my height. I had planned it all out. I’d change my name and enough of my features to look like a different person then I’d run away to the Night Court.

In the end I didn’t go through with it. I was a little scared Nyx wouldn’t want me to come to his court to be together, but more than anything, I knew Kai and Oak would worry. I didn’t want them wondering if I was dead or alive, and I knew I’d miss them. 

Now, though, I’m seriously considering it again. I know Nyx would want to be with me, and I even think I could tell Oak about my plan, and he would keep it secret. We could write letters back and forth to one another under my new name, and no one would be the wiser. Then, one day, he could tell Kai without making my older brother think I’d been kidnapped. 

I didn’t want to tell Nyx about my backup plan yet because it would do nothing for the relationship between our courts, so instead, I wrote to him about trying to put the thought in my fathers head and told him I really hoped it worked, but that I was working on a back up plan in case it didn’t. 

I didn’t say anything else about it and hoped, beyond reason, he wouldn’t ask unless our current idea failed. 

Nyx

Another day and a half goes by before my parents ask me to meet them in their office. Mother above, I hope Az didn’t tell them about his suspicions. I have no idea what Juniper’s back up plan is, but if it’s taking a back seat to our current idea, I probably don’t want to have to resort to it. 

Both of them look up as I walk into the room and take a seat in front of them, preparing myself for an interrogation, but I’m completely wrong, apparently.

“How many friends do you have?” my father asks.

“What?” I ask, confused and completely caught off guard.

“Friends. We know you have one penpal but do you have other friends? How many people have you met since we’ve given you less work? Have you even left the house since we gave you time off?”

“There was that time he disappeared for almost 24 hours,” my mother says. 

Shit! No one mentioned it, so I was hoping they hadn’t noticed.

“Of course we noticed, Nyx. We were worried sick.”

“And a few hours away from sending people outside the court to search for you,” Mom adds, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you guys would freak out so much. I’m nineteen; I can make my own choices.”

“We know that, Nyx, but we couldn’t get ahold of you. Do you know what that tells us?”

When I don’t say anything he continues. “Either you were ignoring us, too far away to speak to, or dead.”

Mom takes a deep breath in as he speaks the last word, and suddenly I realize just how much trouble I’m in. Everything else makes sense too. My aunts and uncles checking in on me the past couple of days, Mom asking if I want to paint with her like I used to, Dad opening my bedroom every night to make sure I’m in bed sleeping. 

“I’m sorry,” I say, honestly, “I promise I won’t go away for long periods of time without leaving a note or something.”

“Where did you go?” Mom asks.

I open my mouth to respond but realize I haven’t come up with a good lie yet. “Um, hanging out with a friend. In the Summer Court, so I was too far away to notice if you were trying to speak to me.”

“You know we’re supposed to run it by the Highpeople if you go into their court. Otherwise, they’ll have reason to think you’re sneaking around.”

“I know. Sorry,” I say again. “It was just a last-minute meet-up. It would have taken days if not weeks for Tarquin to agree.”

Mom starts drafting a letter to him as we speak, probably calling me out for my insolence and making me seem like a spoiled brat in the Highlord's eyes. “If it happens again, Nyx, we’ll have to-” she hesitates, looking up from the paper, “ground you,” she finishes sounding unsure of the decision herself. 

“You’re going to start grounding me at nineteen.”

“I don’t know, Nyx. You’ve never done anything punishable before.”

“We can’t ground him,” Dad says, “he never leaves the house anyway.”

“I think I need to take offense to that.” I frown.

He just shrugs. “To punish you, if you do something like that again, “I’ll get some information about a few party’s and force you to attend.”

“Are you serious?”

“Absolutely.” 

“Dad, you can’t-”

He cuts me off, “you wanna bet?” he smirks, so I just stay quiet and cross my arms.

“Fine,” I agree, “no more misbehaving.”

“Alright, you can go then,” dad says, returning to the work on his desk.

“What about- Have you made a decision about the arranged marriage?” I try to keep my expression neutral.

“If you’re certain, Nyx, we intend to arrange a meeting with Tamlin as long as he is willing.”

“Good,” I say. “Do it.”

-

A few weeks go by with letters to Juniper and anticipation of the day Tamlin has agreed to meet us in the Court of Nightmares. I anxiously stay up at night wondering about the decision and wishing Juniper would tell me about this backup plan she has.

When the day finally comes, I'm practically shaking from nerves. In my room, picking the most professional outfit I have, I take deep breaths and think about the arguments that may need to be made to convince the High Lord of Spring. 

“Are you ready, Nyx,” Mom asks after a knock on the door.

“Yeah,” I say before leaving the room to meet my parents and Azriel in the foyer. 

We winnow to our home above The Court of Nightmares and sit in the meeting room, placed above the rest of the house with no walls at all, it's only accessible by staircases. A pillar of dark stone stands in each corner, and curtains billow between them as we take our seats along half of the rectangular table. My father to my left, and Mom on my other side, Azriel stands behind us.

We expected Tamlin five minutes after our arrival, but eager to take control, he shows up 20 minutes late. Dad just decides to fill the time reminiscing on his childhood and how he ‘kicked Azriel’s butt’ in a game of Illyrian hide and seek, which my uncle just rolls his eyes at.

He stops, though, when the distant tap of footsteps sound a few floors below. A minute passes as they get closer, and we all look to the door as Tamlin enters with a few of his guards and one of our own-Lillian. She could probably take them all down without losing her breath, and none of them even realize it.

“Alright,” Tamlin starts, immediately taking a seat while his guards remain standing, “Are you going to tell me about your plans for a peace treaty or not? I don’t have all day.”

My father only waits a few more moments and looks at both me and my mother before explaining to the other highlord how we could make a deal uniting the courts through the marriage of me and his daughter. 

When Dad finishes speaking Tamlin looks contemplative for a second and remains silent before finally speaking.

“How is that fair,” he says gruffly. “If you get my daughter, then I want yours promised to my son.”

“We don’t have a daughter,” Father says, and I can hear the frustration and anger rising just by his tone.

“Not yet,” Tamlin agrees, “but you could, and if you don’t, then it should be the next female born by your blood.”

“That could be your own daughter's child,” Mom pipes up. “She would be marrying her uncle.”

Tamlin just shrugs. “Thicker blood has been crossed.” He’s not wrong, it wasn’t long ago that courts tried to maintain ‘strong blood’ by marrying within families. It still isn’t that outdated, honestly.

My parents share a long look, and I know they must be speaking to one another. It’s not difficult to figure out what they’re saying either. I signed up for this, whatever daughter they may have did not. If they agree, they’re doing the one thing they never wanted: keeping their child from finding love, from choosing love.

“We need to think about it before we decide,” Mom says, breaking eye contact with dad, “but if we agree, you do too? Your daughter Juniper will marry Nyx?”

“Yes,” Tamlin says simply with the wave of his hand, “that’s no problem.”

Anger rises in me at his dismissive tone. How can he care so little about setting his daughter up for an arranged marriage? I tamp the feeling down, though. I can feel my magic rising, and don’t want to lose control in front of anyone.

Mom see’s Tamlin out not long after, promising to send word if they come to a decision, and dad goes to the table at the back of the room to grab a drink. Uncle Az, with his eyes glued to Tamlin until the second he vanishes from our court, plops down in a chair beside me. He doesn't relax, though, until his shadows return to tell him, saying Tamlin is back in his own court. 

“What is everyone thinking?” Dad asks, a drink in each hand as he and Mom return to their chairs. 

“I understand if you don’t agree to his offer. I’m a willing participant, but whatever daughter you have won’t be,” I say.

“It’s not just our daughter,” Dad says, “maybe we don’t have any daughters, then it’s your daughter in an arranged marriage.”

“I think I’d do it,” I say after a moment's thought. “Maybe that’s selfish of me but-”

“It’s not selfish, Nyx,” Mom says, “you’re trying to unite our courts, that’s the opposite of selfish.”

If only they knew my true reasons. Uniting the courts is just a bonus, really. Would they still agree?

“A part of me thinks we should agree too,” Mom faces Dad as she says it.

“I’m going to get some information on both of Tamlin's sons before you make a decision,” Az says. “If they both seem decent enough to be a good husband, then you can decide what to do.”

With that, we all go our separate ways, winnowing back to Velaris and whatever waits for us there. For me, it’s nothing but a lonely house and a lifeless bedroom.

[drowning-inmysleep]

cruel angels requiem

"He was a good friend of mine, He died. Why write about him now? Gotta honor him somehow." June 11th, 2023 I received three calls in a row from my dad while I was at work. His father, my grandfather, has been sick for the past year and it's been progressively getting worse. Once I noticed the missed call I stepped outside to call him back, fearing my grandfather's condition had worsened. He picked up and I asked him frantically "Are you okay? What's going on?" he told me his phone has been having issues lately and he must of accidentally called me. I ask him again if anything was going on, and to that he said no. We continued our conversation like usual, me making jokes at the way his phone made his voice sound, and ended the call as I went back into work.

I was relieved what I feared/felt in my heart wasn't true but still couldn't shake the feeling that someday soon my grandfather will pass and I won't ever hear him call me baby and kiss my head when I hugged him goodbye again.

It was a long shift, about 10 hours, I got home late. I worked on finishing my project for school, was confirmed that I passed the course and spent the rest of the night drinking modelos and playing Diablo 4 in celebration. That night (last night) when I went to sleep I remembered the call I had with my dad, thought a lot about my grandpa and fell asleep. I had a lucid dream again, in which I was at my grandparents house watching a movie with them. My grandma was in the kitchen, leaving me and my grandpa alone in the living room. He looked at me and asked if I remembered the movie we were watching, I did but not enough to fully recall. He told me "this was that movie me and your grandma rented when you were a kid, the one that scared you so bad you had to sleep in bed with us!" and laughed, I laughed too. We must of watched the entire movie in that dream, and when it was over he looked at me and said "You know I'll always love you, right?". I didn't know why he was telling me this out of the blue, but then in the dream I remembered the call I had from my dad (in real life) the day before. I told him I loved him too, and that I was sorry I wasn't around as much the past few years. He told me not to worry about that, and said he's always asking about me. My grandma (from the kitchen) joined in and said the same thing, that he always asked about me. I woke up after that, and went about my day. I have dreams like this often and didn't think too much of it, though I remembered my sister calling me in the dream, which is what woke me up. Around 2:00pm my sister called me three times, I missed them, and she texted me "Please call me back". I called her back, she'd informed me that my grandfather had passed away. I didn't cry when I talked to her, maybe because she was crying so much. That's how it always is, I never cry when I talk to my sister, because it'll make her cry even more. We talked for awhile, she told me that his condition suddenly worsened this weekend. This morning he was in critical condition, and my father and aunt came over to take him to the hospital. He died a few hours later. I still didn't cry, but once she passed the phone to my mom I broke down.

I've spent the entire day talking to my family over the phone, since I live a few states away and it's all I can do for now. I've heard them all cry, and all tell me how much my grandfather loved me, and how much he'd ask about me. They told me he was proud of me, and I knew that.

I'm writing this during my final class for school, this is my way of processing and understanding where I'm at mentally. I have severe issues with disassociation, and felt myself falling into that earlier today. Whenever this issue first cropped up in my life, I was 14 and that's also when the lucid-drowning-dreams began. Whenever I have lucid dreams it's almost like a warning to me that something is about to shift.

When I spoke to my father, he told me he and my brother also had a feeling in the pit of their stomach this weekend. That something was about to happen, that our grandfather would pass.

I have so much to say about him, and so many moments in which he was there for me when no one else could be. He was a very sweet man, with rough hands and tough/large exterior. The type of guy that you might be intimidated to speak to, but once you do He had been to prison a few times, and was involved in organized crime up until my youngest aunt was born. There are lots of stories in which my dad or one of my aunts recalls him coming home late at night, with blood on his hands and shoes.

I don't know the specifics of what he was involved in, but if I had to guess it was probably cargo theft / redistribution. He stopped being immediately involved and started a construction company whenever my brother was born, his first grandchild.

My family comes from a rough industrial Midwest neighborhood called Spanish Lake, in Missouri. Known as one of the top ranked "Dying communities in the United States", Spanish Lake was blighted by institutionalized and commercialized racism. My parents talk about when the first black family moved into Spanish Lake, and how white residents would burn crosses on their lawn. I have 3 aunts, Tricia, Kristen and Bianca. Bianca is not related by blood, but is my aunt Kristen's (Aunt KK) childhood bestfriend. Bianca was black, and the second or third black family to move into Spanish Lake. When she was a teenager and hanging around my aunt KK a lot, her father and her had issues. He was physically abusive to the point that my entire family knew, the night Bianca fought back he hurt her so bad that she had to go to the ER, and he then told her she was disowned and not allowed to return. Bianca then went to my dad's teenage house, and upon learning what happened my grandfather took Bianca in as his own. Her father came to the house a few days later to apologize, my grandfather let him in and kept watch on the situation. Bianca told him that she would not return, and that my grandparents would be taking care of her from that point on. In response to that he got up and began to yell, and get violent. My grandfather came out of the kitchen and took him outside. He told KK and Bianca to get to their room and lock the doors. Apparently my grandfather tried to talk him down, to which Bianca's father said that Bianca was no longer his daughter. My grandfather knocked him out and dragged him off the property, waited for him to wakeup before telling him never to come near her again. from that point on Bianca was my dad and aunts sister, she and KK loved taking care of me when I was a baby.

Bianca loved my grandfather, would call him dad sometimes, but mostly called him Johnny. Her father never returned. When I was a child I had a lot of difficult with anxiety, and would skip school often. Half the time my Grandpa would pick me up once the principals called my parents, since he knew the route I had to take to walk home. Everytime he'd pick me up, ask me how I was doing, and drive me home. He never got mad at me or punished me for this, just made sure I got home safe and was okay. A few years after that I had fallen into a deeper bout of anxiety/matured depression, and I tried to kill myself multiple times. The first time my dad found me, the second time my brother found me, the third time my grandfather found me. The third time, my grandfather was tipped off by my sister that I'd been making her worry and was locked in the bathroom. I won't go into the details of the process, but she kept trying to get me to leave and I wouldn't. She was screaming and crying, and eventually I heard the front door open. I heard heavy footsteps come down the stairs, walk up to the bathroom door. In a instant the locked door was broken open, my grandfather rushing in. He said "oh my god, baby!" when he saw me, picked me up and put me over his shoulder and took me outside, telling my sister to stay inside and lock the door. I was so scared, he'd never shown any anger or violence towards me but if he did then, I wouldn't of been surprised. He didn't put me down, I was 17 years old at the time and 5"8. He was in his 60s, and held me so tight off the ground while he pet the back of my head and repeated "oh my god Alex". He kissed the side of my head over and over again, and told me we were going to the hospital. I immediately felt the deepest sense of regret I've ever felt in my life, as my grandfather cried and told me "There is no way in this life that you will die before me". It's hard to talk about the details of this, but I had told him I was tired of taking medicine for depression and anxiety all the time and I wanted to quit everything. I told him I needed something to hold onto, and all he said back was "hold onto this" and held out his hand. After that day I never again attempted suicide, I was put in a hospital for a month and a half, my grandfather visited multiple times a week. The first time he did, he gave me an envelope and said it was from him and my father. There were two letters inside, one written by my grandfather and another by my father. They were heartfelt, multi paged letters saying all the things that were too hard to in person I assume. My grandfather's letter was where he told me about his criminal background, and how dark the world had seemed until he met my grandmother Pam, and until he saw the faces of his children. He told me thought about suicide too. Most importantly he finished the letter saying "I will always love you, I do not feel any anger or disappointment in you at all for this." He said when he saw me he knew I'd be trouble, but that I'd be loved and favorited by my family. And that was true, I was a problem child, had a lot of issues up until I moved out/got kicked out, but at the same time everyone in my family loved me very much. My grandparents and my aunts would fight over watching me and taking care of me. I spent a lot of time at my grandparents house. If my grandfather wouldn't of broken that door down I don't know if I'd be writing this out now. I know both of those stories are harrowing examples of the love he showed me and everyone in his life, but at the same time that's who he is. He's someone that's been through so many problems and scenarios, yet he handled all of them and put his family before himself.

I remember when I was 10 I got a guitar for my birthday, and I'd never played but he told me to plug it in and play. I did for a few hours and he sat there watching me, even though it probably sounded horrible.

The last time I saw him he asked me about how music was going and I told him it was alright, and that I was in town to play a show with my friends. He asked if I got paid for it and I told him yeah, I get paid pretty handsomely. He told me how proud he was and how great that is, saying he knew it's what I always wanted.

Seeing him these last two times was really hard, he was a decayed version of himself and was very weak. Still a large, imposing figure, but one with a fragile shell. I ate dinner with him and my Grandma. Me and my Grandma went outside to smoke cigarettes', and during she told me how scared she was of him passing away. She told me he was her world, that he'd been with her for 50 years.

I was sad to see my grandma like this, however I decided to speak to her like anyone would. We had a very real conversation about all of it, and while it was sad, I was happy to speak with her in a way that proved I had grown up, and different from the kid my grandpa found in the bathroom.

today I spoke with her and she told me "Your grandfather loved you so much baby, he was always asking about you. You know he always loved you right? He was so proud of you."

I cried harder than I did all day, and typing this out I'm crying again.

I think i'm a lot like my grandfather, from toughness / roughness around the edges, to not being afraid to show love to those around us. A few years back at a family get together my grandfather was asking me about my new tattoos. I showed him a cross I'd poked into myself on my finger, he pulled out his hand (The one he 'gave' to me in the story above) and showed me he had the same cross tattooed on the same finger. He'd done it himself as well, in prison. My dad's family always calls me baby. They call everyone that, it's something that's seeped into the way I speak. They're the type to kiss the side of your head when they say goodbye.

When I think about showing love or speaking to the ones I love, I think about how my grandfather would talk to me.

today I'm remembering the last time I saw him, two weeks ago. he hugged me tighter than he had in a long time, kissed my head, said "I love you baby you come back soon", and I left.

[iyabutterfly]

To Whom It May Concern

I’m writing this letter because I’m not good with verbally expressing myself. And I cry too much. About everything. I am mentally struggling. I have been, for a very long time now. Since I was a kid. I am overwhelmed and frustrated with life, because I don’t see a way out. In debt with the state 3 times. Elwood City probabtion wants $975 from me. I can’t remember how much Indianapolis probation wants. And I can’t remember how much I owe Indianapolis Community Corrections. Either way, they’re debts I wasn’t ready for. I have to pay off tickets and reinstatement fees so I can have my license back and be a legal driver. Then I need to get a car. I’m sleeping on my Aunts couch, and I only have 3 months left. So I need a home. I have my phone bill, my monthly Netflix and monthly Spotify. I need to bring my credit back up, again. It’s trash. Again. My kids live with their Dad, and so I send money whenever he needs help with bills or something. I CANT KEEP UP right now. My unforseeable future says I won’t be able to keep up then, either. Rent and bills and debt payments and car note and sr22 insurance. Work to catch up and keep up. Take care of my kids. And keep my house together, as I like. Cook, clean, do laundry. Family time. Personal time. And stay sane. Doing this all alone.

My problem right now, is that there isn’t enough time in the week to escape this toxic circle. Everything I’m trying so hard to accomplish right now, seems to be pointless. Impossible to make it through. My thoughts torment me, day in and day out. A mental battle “you got this Crystal. Just see the bigger picture” “well the bigger picture is looking real small and crumbly right now” I can barely make it through a 10hour shift at work, without anxieties and depressions kicking in and pushing me out the door. I miss a lot of work. Late because I couldn’t get to sleep the night before. Like today. Leaving work early. Like today. My attendance is whack and my paychecks are even more whack. I’m never going to be able to maintain a home of my own. So really should just stop now. Stop wasting time and effort and energy. I really just can’t think straight. 14 years of my life gone to a relationship that I initiated combat in. Then two more gone to more bad decisions. Gone. Now I pay. Financially and even more mentally. I’m stuck in this predicament that I accidentally got myself in. I didn’t ask to be here. I wish I was born into a family of health wealth and love. Or I wish I knew better, before. So I couldve done better in a more timely fashion. I’m not feeling suicidal. However, I am feeling better off in jail or under a bridge. It just seems easier and less stressful. I barely see or talk to my kids now, so it really won’t change anything. I know there won’t be anymore room for anymore disappointment.

I’m tired of talking and explaining and crying. Asking for help in all the wrong places. The people who are supposed to be able to help me, can’t or won’t. I’m tired of my throat swelling up, making it hard to breathe. I’m tired of going in these circles. It’s a round roller coaster of pain. I’m tired of getting back up just to keep falling. I’m tired of not being prioritized. All the state cares about is getting their money and telling me what to do. I’m connected with a health care provider that doesn’t even have time for me. My medical record isn’t evenly properly updated. The state doesn’t care about my mental health. Or what it really takes to progress. I can’t breathe.

[nmyaunheard]

Chapter 1

It was 8:30 in the night and I was walking down the alley,trying my best to reach home as soon as possible . The alley was dark, with not a single trace of life and a single street lamp which was flickering making the atmosphere eerie..What was even bizarre was that I was being followed by someone. I was about to reach my apartment when it stopped......the footsteps that were trailing behind me had stopped.......I took a breather and continued to walk.I reached my apartment, took my keys out from my purse and opened the door. I kept my bag on the counter near my door and went to freshen up. Even while taking a bath this thing of being followed couldn't be kept out of my mind.I had been stalked for some three months or so, due to which I had to move to a new town where I made sure no one knew me. It stopped for couple of weeks but then again......I was again being followed and it creeped the hell out of me.

I came out of my bathroom and wore my pyjamas and hoodies when I heard a sweet voice calling me ...."Aunt Jenna" ....my 4 year old niece, Isabell called me from behind...."yes, pumpkin",I replied..............."I am hungry", Bell said.

"Well,.....I am going to make pasta. Is there anything that you want with that and who dropped you from school?"

"Benjamin's brother did and i want hot chocolate with pasta",Bell replied

"You mean,Matthew did..wasn't he supposed to be in Red Hills " I asked her.

"Hmmm..he has moved here with Ben and Ben has joined our school now.",she said with excitement in her eyes. Ben was her only friend and she had some trouble adjusting with new kids here.I decided to call and thank him and ask him the reason for the shift but I had to prepare dinner.I fed her pasta and she had her hot chocolate and after that I put her to sleep on our bed . Bell's parents,my brother Max and my best friend Isha who was pregnant that time died in an accident last year.........Max and Isha went to the doctor for an ultrasound but in return a truck hit their car and most unfortunate thing happened and at that time I was babysitting Isabell....I lost my bestie and brother and Isabell lost her parents . Max named her after our late mother Isabell jane who died after giving birth to me.

Maxwell was a year elder than me and Isha, Matt and I were besties. Isha came to Red Hills from California,she was an orphan with brilliant mind and came to our college on scholarship. Matt and I knew each other since we were kids. After the death of my father who was a well known scientist, Matt's parents were our guardians and our father's best friend . Isha and I bonded instantly and when she first came to our house her eyes fell on Max and vice versa and they both started dating ,hanging out until we graduated High school and Max told us he was going to propose Isha . We all were really happy for them n supported him; so did Matt's parents . Isha said yes, and they got married and had Bell their first child .... .We moved out of Matt's house and shifted to ours.

Bell misses them but she is trying her best to forget painful memories. First few months she couldn't stop crying saying she wants her mother back,she wants her dad....but I guess she understood that they were gone but I made sure she didn't feel alone and that I would always be by her side. She is a really understanding child. Usually I never get late but my boss called all of us in an important meeting. I don't have my office on weekends so I take her either to camp or to watch a movie so that I can spend time with her. On weekdays she goes to a daycare .

Back to the story.....

Bell is asleep and I went to the balcony to have a little chitchat with Matt ....

The conversation:

Jenna: Hey, How have you been? I heard you moved here.........to The Risings.

Matt: Yes, mom and dad were worried sick about you and Bell so the whole family decided. It is actually a really good place and we really missed both of you. Ben also wanted to be with Bell ..

Jenna: You didn't have to.....anyways thanks for everything you and your family did for us........So, when are you and your whole family going to come and meet us...

Matt: In the morning .

Jenna: I'll be waiting but atleast tell me where do you live..

Matt: You will know everything.

Jenna: Ok, and thanks for dropping Bell home today .

Matt: You don't have to thank me....

Jenna:Yes, whatever! I am going to sleep now,today was a hectic day.. Goodnight!

Matt: Goodnight and take care. Bye!

I went to my room and layed beside Bell and drifted to sleep.

[momi1816]

pt.11:

my daughter was very advanced for age in my opinion. during tummy time already holding her head up to look around, making cute noises and guzzling down bottles like it was her job. but one day. dec 14 2016, the dray grew grim.

it was any ordinary day. parents were off working. my siblings at school. it was just her and I during the day. she had her morning bottle per normal.

* also I swear I get the best babies because she was already sleeping through the night. my son does the same.*

when everyone was gone I was to do the chores and clean the house. coming to bottle time she wasn't interested, so I left it alone. 6 hours after her last feeding trying again and nothing.starting to get worried I did the millennial thing and googled. and what I got was just growing. which made sense because she was in 3-6mo within a week of being home. so I brushed it off. 12 hours after her morning bottle still nothing. getting very worried trying our best to feed her since everyone was home. my step dad was holding her for a couple hours in that frame trying his best to get her to feed. also to add I had dried up about a week and a half before this. my milk didn't last long.

my step dad and put her down so he could get ready for bed and my mom felt her and said she had a fever. he said ' no I've been holding her for so long its probably just my body heat'. taking that in yes but I second guessed it. 102.4F

Racing to the ER she skipped the line and was taken back immediately. 10-12 doctors, nurses, and registration in and out of the room. asking questions, getting vitals and blood. they then wheeled us into the tunnels to go to the pediatric wing to where they took us to a procedure room and they attempted to get her urine sample by a catheter. by 4th try, she peed on the nurses. and then the nurses asked me if I wanted to step out they would do a spinal tap and told me it'd be hard to watch. I told them I would stay. It was very hard to watch; at that point I had never heard a scream as loud as the scream she did.

and then we waited.. the doctor came in our room and explained she had a bacterial infection in her blood and spinal fluid. they cultured it and the 72hr test showed it was strep b bacterial infection. a bacteria I do carry. nurses swear up and down there would be only a 1 and 2 billion chance that she got it from me during birth. considering it was 3.5 weeks later, she was a c section and I was on a penicillin dip for 15 hours. they asked had we gone out at all, no. but thanksgiving just happened and mom goes all out. that day my daughter was passed around like it was show and tell in preschool. someone didn't wash their hands enough and now my daughter will suffer and she did..

by the 18th she had what is called a grand mall seizure. just like the movies, she was stiff and straight as a board, red as a tomato, screaming and if she had teeth they would have been clenched. the nurse we had that night had just watched and walked out when it was over. I followed her and asked her what that was. she then told me it was a seizure and she didn't want to say anything due to my aunt and uncle being in the room. and she left.. telling the doctor what she saw, they scheduled and MRI. which wouldn't be until that Wednesday the 21st. walking her down to the MRI, I sat in the waiting room alone waiting.my mind spiraling. I could hear her screaming with them trying to put in an iv to administer contrast. but soon as she went in, she came out. we went back up to the room and it was a waiting game. my mom and step dad were there by then.

*side note I do want to add a couple things. no S was not at her birth I was blocked and had no way of telling him. his friends knew though. also with this happening I told that same friend what was going on and still he never showed. also my bio dad and his side of the family did not show up to the birth and with this situation I found out why*

it was just about to be shift change, and as we anxiously waited it was time.. the on call doc, the neurologist, day and night nurse came in with looks that screamed bad news. the neurologist had pulled up her MRI and her brain was lit up like the 4th of July. they said according to the damage she was/is 3/4 brain damaged. explaining nothing can be fixed. giving me worst case scenario if she made it out of the hospital she would never walk, talk, eat on her own, beg tube fed, be on oxygen, wouldn't feel pain, wouldn't know who I was or anyone, wouldn't have personality. without saying it but saying it she would become a vegetable. out of the then 20 years of practice for him she was the second worst case he had seen and the worst lived to 18. he estimated if she made it out she would only live to maybe one. it would be a long road ahead of us.

with my mother being there. its best you know my mother has the shittiest delivery humanly possible and can be cruel. after the MRI results were given she looked at me," are you going to kill yourself now?" as I responded, "no even if she doesn't make it, she would want me to stay and tell her story."

moving forward, they had therapists start coming in to start physical and occupational therapy. they were trying to have her regain her suck for a bottle. It never came back. I was given the option of putting a tube in her. it was a scary thought to think about. and they were pushing hard. but one day during our month and half stay. a traveling doctor that was there had came in to talk with me. my grandparents were there and the therapists were in the room and were working with her. infant of everyone, he straight up said. 'if it was my child I would take her home and let nature take its course." basically telling me to take her home and allow my daughter to starve herself to death. that was 1 out of 5 doctors we saw. but he was traveling. one other, who is still there no clue how, did the same things. trying to push me to either leave her so another family can adopt her or to let her die. completely appalled. especially with him due to him at belonging to that hospital vs being a traveling.

in the time being there, I understand I was 19 with a baby who just had something traumatic happen. but under no circumstances does that give the right to these two men to treat me like a child and try pushing death. but the doctor who actually is a part of the hospital got his foot in his mouth 6 months ago.

moving forward, obviously she made it out. I went through with the surgery. my aunt on my dads side was a surgery nurse so she had arranged the best of the best to be on the service. and it went great. later on in the stay my bio dad decided to show up with my little half brother with my full sister. after she begged him finally came to meet her. I found out he didn't come to the birth nor in the beginning of the stay due to my name change.

my daughter was then sent home after surgery once decently healed. although the ignorance of doctors did not end there. the neurologist did not send us home with seizure meds. not thinking of anything of it, because obviously he's the doctor right, he knows better in that situation... nope....

[storm-of-feathers]

-

[morwap]

im such a slut for one bed trope when it leads to smut 😟‼️ can you write something like that for steve please?

also sorry if my english is bad bff i never listened to my english classes tbh

bby ur english is great!

s4 v1&2 spoilers if you havent watched it yet

fwb!steve

sitting squished next to dustin,max,lucas and robin in steve’s car. you honestly dont even know how you all fit in it.

you having offered your place to camp out for the night since it was the closest place and all of you were very very tired plus your mom and dad had gone to Washington to help your aunt.

unlocking your door and letting everyone in, your room wasnt far from the living room so you were just going to sleep there.

“i think we should all be paired up, no leaving one person alone even for just a second” nancy said looking around the group. dustin looked a steve and smiled which caused steve to shake his head.

“no henderson, no” steve said, crossing his arms and dustin rolled his eyes.

“okay! okay! how about lucas, max, nancy and robin and dustin then me and you? does that work?” you asked, trying to make a plan so steve wouldnt have to “babysit” for the night.

luckily everyone agreed, two people with max in case something happens and one has to get the others and robin with dustin knowing he had comics in his bag so they would get along great. you gathered blankets and pillows out your closet and giving them to robin and dustin. since your parents weren’t coming back for a while you showed lucas, max and nancy were your parents room was which was across from yours and brought them some more blankets then told them youd leave your door cracked and to yell if anything weird goes on.

walking to the living room to tell the other two the same but once you walked in you found dustin asleep on robins shoulder and robin leaning her head back on the seats of the couch with her mouth open, snoring loudly.

walking into your room and pushing the door so there was only a crack, steve was looking around your room as if he hasn’t been there before, which made you laugh.

“you dont have to act like you’ve never been in here before” you mumbled with a little laugh, digging through your drawers and grabbing pajamas and changing. “i highly doubt any of them would care that you’ve been here or how you know the place, we all have more on our plates than having them find out we’ve fucked around before” you added.

steve couldn’t help but laugh and nod while running his fingers through his hair, muttering “youre right” as he walked to your bed and flopped down onto it. once in your new clothes you tossed your old ones into your laundry basket then slipped into your bed.

the bed was a little cramped but it wasn’t any different than before, well the only difference was the situation but if you closed your eyes and tried to not think of it, it felt just like over the summer.

clicking off your lamp and getting comfortable, focusing on the crack in the door way, seeing the light from the other room seep into your room a little bit. you felt steve shift around before feeling his arm wrap around your waist and his breathing was now audible.

“well, if you think they would care about that then they shouldn’t care about this, right?” he asked, you could just picture his face with a cocky smirk. his finger slipping under your shirt and making their way up to your boobs.

steve’s lips on your neck, his hand massaging one boob and his hard on pressed to your ass. “i think they’d be a little mad, fucking instead of resting or watching to make sure max is alright” you said and tried to bite back a moan.

“guess they’ll never have to find out then hm?” steve quips in breathy groan, grinding himself on you. feeling his hand leave your tit and move down to your shorts waistband.

“think you can be quiet babe?” he asked in your ear, fingers now going to your shorts and panties and resting above your vulva.

you nod and hum in agreement, pressing your ass against him. you fisted the sheets as his fingers made contact with your clit, rubbing you gently just the way he learned too.

it wasn’t too long before you were sopping, getting steve’s fingers and your panties messy. steve was getting needy and the grinding just wasn’t doing it for him any more.

taking his hand out of your shorts and licking his fingers clean, moving to pulling boxers down and give himself a few strokes before helping you slide your shorts and panties down.

rubbing his tip along your slit before moving closer to pushed himself into you, your back flushed against his chest. you made a soft noise but it was louder than intended which made steve clamp his hand over your mouth and shushing you in your ear.

starting to thrust into you but quickly stopping when you both noticed someone walking past your room.

moving his hand a tiny bit, “it was probably just robin going to the bathroom” you whispered and steve nodded and you both waited for them to walk past your room again.

once the person did steve started thrusting again, steve was trying not to make your bed make any noises while you kept your eyes locked on the little crack incase someone was waking past or about to walk into your room.

[boldlyvoid]

forever is the sweetest con | Chip Taylor x Reader

18+

Summary: Reader's dad is a carpenter; sometimes he takes on apprentices and sometimes, if they're lucky, they get his daughter's number at the end of their training. Chip Taylor, however, hits the jackpot when her father invites him over for one of her homecooked meals.

Warnings: reader's mom passed away, mentions of parental death, strangers to lovers, random acts of kindness, mutual pining, falling in love, steamy make-outs, oral sex (male and female receiving), fingering, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, creampie, dirty talk, sub!chip, food mentions, praise, love confessions.

word count: 6.2k

a/n: thank you @samuel-de-champagne-problems for requesting a chip fic!! i am in love with him and also yes this plot is something that happened to my parents, however, my mom is still alive and my dad does give my Instagram out to the men who subcontract for him lmao!

Her father was a carpenter, and he often took on apprentices. You see, he had to learn everything on his own to make his way in life and support his family, he was willing to help other men do the same thing. And so every night he would come home from work and talk about whatever idiot he was teaching this week.

“His name is Chip,” her father emphasized the p with confusion, “what is that even short for?”

“It’s short for Charles,” she couldn’t help but laugh, “is he at least more competent than that Mason kid?”

“Much!” He rolled his eyes, “although I did have to teach him how to put crown moulding in today, he’s a quick learner and you can tell he’s just following what they teach at the schools but I know the hacks.”

“I know, Dad,” she smiled. “Is he cute? Single?”

She’s been on dates with most of the guys he’s worked with, mainly because they went to her high school back in the day, but also because her father was trying to play matchmaker. Ever since her mother died, she’s been taking care of him and he just wanted her to have some fun outside of the house. She needed a life in his eyes.

She was content working at the diner and serving people food all day just to come home and take care of her father. He worked hard to make sure they stayed afloat after her mom, the least she could do is make him dinner and a sandwich for lunch the next day.

“He is actually,” he shrugged, “he’s a yes man, you’d probably really like him.”

“Why’s that?” She asked, waiting for whatever snide comment he was going to make to jokingly piss her off.

“Your aunt Lisa only married your uncle Jason because he was a yes man and she could wear the pants, and you’ve always been just like her,” he explained it nicer than she expected.

“Give him my number next time you work with him?” She asks nicely, taking his plate from the table and moving it to the sink.

“Good luck chip,” she hears him mumble under his breath.

It makes her laugh, she loves her relationship with her father and the friendly environment they were able to keep after everything that’s happened to their family. They always laughed together, he was always cracking jokes and even when they were shouting obscenities at each other it came from a place of love, “fuck-head” was a term of endearment in their home.

—

He brings Chip home with him without telling her, she’s been home all day cleaning the house; her hair is a mess and she’s all sweaty, and he really is cute. She made enough food for an army so it wasn’t a problem in her father’s eyes, saying “doesn’t she always look beautiful? It’s fine Y/N.”

“Yeah,” Chip agreed with a small smile and a blush that roared red down his neck. "You're very beautiful."

She cleans up a bit before dinner, brushing her hair and changing into a nice sundress. She adds some perfume and shakes the anxiety out of her body, he was just one of her dad’s friends from work. And he happened to be incredibly adorable.

Returning to find them talking about how he fixed their frozen pipes in the winter with a hairdryer. It was the most basic shit to her and yet Chip was fascinated like he’s never heard any of these things before. He’s holding a beer in his hands with a leg crossed as he leans on the sofa and he’s so cute…

He’s in his work jeans and his shirt is all sweaty, and his hair is curled on the ends from all the hard work. His hands are dirty and he smells like sawdust and home. She’s not listening to a single thing they’re talking about, she’s just staring at the way his face moves when he talks and how sweet his laugh is.

He loves dinner, he’s beyond thankful and even more so for dessert. She made homemade banana bread with the bananas they had, they were going to go bad if she didn’t. It wasn’t anything special but he acted like she made his whole day.

He helps bring all the dishes into the kitchen, standing beside her as she fills the sink with water, “do you have a towel? I could help dry.”

“I know where everything is, how about you wash and I dry?” She compromises with a smile, and he’s more than happy to oblige.

She learns a little about him, he’s kind and friendly and he seems to crave the feeling of family that being in her home provides. He doesn’t want to stop washing dishes because then he has to go home, and he doesn’t look like he really wants to do that either.

“Do you need a ride home, Chip?” She asks as he lets the sink water out, “I was thinking about going to get some ice cream if you want to join me?”

“I would love to,” he smiles again, “thank you, Y/N.”

—

She understands everything when she drops him off at his tiny, little, run-down apartment; he’s going to be all alone as soon as he leaves her car and she hates that for him. He was so nice it was hard to believe that he didn’t have a nice partner and a house and kids by now.

“I wouldn’t mind if you came over for dinner after all your shifts with my dad? Just text me before so I make enough dinner?” She offers with butterflies swarming in her stomach.

“You’re too kind to me,” he replies, unable to meet her eyes as she turns to him.

“I just want more time to look at you,” she teases, “you’re really handsome.”

He lights up, “you think so?”

She nods with a small laugh, pushing air through her nose as she leans in more, “and you’re nice and funny, and your voice is cute.”

He’s stunned as his eyes flick back and forth from hers to her lips, his lips are parted as he tries to breathe but fails, he looks like no one has ever told him that before.

“Are you working with my dad tomorrow?” She changes the topic so that he can focus once more.

“I should be,” he replies just soft enough for her to hear.

“Would you like a sandwich for lunch? My dad said often the guys don’t bring that much with them to eat, I wouldn’t mind making you a sandwich too?”

She’s not sure why she feels the need to take him in and care for him but she does. She wants to wrap him up in a hug and make his meals and tuck him in at night. He just has this aura that calls for love and she desperately wants to give it to him.

He leans forward and kisses her, she kisses back instinctively and reaches to hold his face. His cheeks are soft as she runs her thumb along the skin, she pulls back only to press a few more pecks to his lips.

“You're something else,” he whispers against her lips before stealing another kiss.

He’s sweet, he tastes like vanilla ice cream and she just wants more. She kisses him again and again, eventually licking at his bottom lip and desperately whining to make out with him. She hasn’t felt this needy since she was a high schooler, but something in Chip made her feel alive.

She is leaning so far into his space she might as well get into his seat too. She moves to kiss his jaw and down his neck and he’s nothing but hands as he feels all over her back.

“Do you want to come inside?” He whispers, scared but just as desperate as she is.

“I shouldn’t,” she says before continuing her trail of kisses down his neck.

She can’t leave any marks because her father will know, but she also doesn’t care. He’d probably just give him a high five and move on with his day. She wanted to be even closer to him, she wanted to sit in his lap and kiss him for hours just because she could.

“We don’t have to do anything,” he tries to persuade her, “it just might be more comfortable for this?”

“Alright.”

He holds her hand on the walk up to his apartment, she likes how much he already feels like hers. He shows her inside and before the door is even closed she’s connecting their lips once again. He moans into her mouth at the feeling of his back colliding with the door and her hands are immediately roaming his shirt.

He’s such a good kisser, he is gentle and soft, he isn’t overly eager and controlling. He lets her explore and slow it down as she presses in closer to him and his hands wander to her hips. She places one of her thighs between his and grinds herself even closer to him.

He’s hard against her hip and the prospect of sleeping with him is so enticing but she knows she can't, at least not yet. It would be too quick, she wants to just appreciate him like this. Her kisses trail from his lips to his ear and he’s still a whining mess, but he’s completely still as she sets the pace of her grinding. He’s not pushing her to do anything or move this along, he’s just letting her explore everywhere… he’s so different.

“I don’t want to have to do laundry tonight,” he whispers with a smirk, moving his hands down to block her from grinding on his erection anymore.

She just undoes his belt and pushes his jeans to the floor before resuming the same position as before, this time she pulls her dress up and rests the clothed tip of his cock in just the right spot under her.

He’s holding her closer again, his arms wrapping almost all the way around her as his big hands grab handfuls of her skin in a desperate attempt to be closer to her. She keeps kissing his neck, they’re more open-mouthed and breathy than she intends but he just feels so good under her.

No one has ever made her feel this desperate before, something about him made her want to devour him whole. His sounds were delicious, his skin even more so, she couldn’t help herself from nipping and sucking at his neck as he made more beautiful noises.

She was so close and she could tell he wasn’t far behind, “let go, Chip,” she whispers in his ear, “cum with me.”

She grinds down hard one final time and he’s a shaking, moaning mess. It’s the feeling of the wet patch in his underwear and the feeling of him shudder that sends her over the edge, panting into his neck as they hold each other close against the door.

He turns them around, taking her by the waist and manhandling her until she’s the one against the door. His lips are on her neck and it’s like his orgasm has only enticed him to go further, “you’re too good to me.”

“You deserve good things Chip,” she whispers as her hand comes up to grip his hair as he continues to kiss her neck.

“Let me say thank you,” he whispers as he drops to his knees and pushes her dress up as she reaches to pull it up for him.

She spreads her legs as he moves her panties to the side and dives in. Spreading her with two fingers he sucks her clit into his mouth first and she tugs on his hair so tight he moans against her. Sending another shockwave through her body as he built another orgasm up.

He’s so good with his mouth, her legs are quaking as she tries to stay standing against the door. She can feel him everywhere but it’s still not enough, she wants him deep inside of her but she knows it’s way too soon to even be doing this. She has never gone this fast with someone before but she couldn’t stop, he felt too amazing.

“Chip,” she chanted his name, tugging on his hair tighter to get him to moan against her and send her over the edge once again.

She ruts against his tongue, fucking his face as she rides it out and he is more than happy to keep going as long as she wants him to and it feels so good she might just stay there. But the twitches get too intense and the whine she makes lets him know she’s done as he kisses back up her body.

Supporting her against the door, he presses his body against her once more. Taller than her, he tilts her chin up so she can look him in the eyes, his chin and nose are glistening with her cum and somehow he’s still cute.

She kisses him on the lips quickly, “when I can feel my legs again, I need to head home.”

When she leaves, she just sits in her car for a few minutes as she settles even more. Then she heads to the grocery store on the way home to get nice things for his sandwich tomorrow, because any man who can make her cum twice in 10 minutes deserves the best sandwich.

—

Waking up at 6 in the morning to make sandwiches is normally a chore, she sometimes makes them the night before so she doesn’t have to worry and can sleep in, this morning she wants to put all the tender loving care into these lunches. Her dad has noticed, he’s eyeing her down from the living room as he has his morning cereal and she knows he wants to ask.

“I didn’t sleep with him if that’s what you’re wondering.” Her voice is just loud enough for him to shoot her a listening glance.

“Oh, but you’re making him a sandwich?”

“You should see his apartment complex,” her expression drops, “ and after the way he devoured dinner last night, I just knew he hasn’t been taken care of in forever. And he’s so nice?”

He smiles, “your mom did the same thing for me.”

“You’ve never told me the story,” she reminds him.

He gets up and walks over to the kitchen, leaning against the counter so they can look at each other. His expression is soft, he’s an overly kind man and it was the thing she loved most about him.

“Your grandfather and I worked at a company making refrigerators, I was new to the state and had nothing and so he brought me home for dinner,” he smiles at the memory.

“Her parents got divorced soon after and her mom was having trouble with the bills so I moved in and I helped, and every morning your mom woke up and she made me a sandwich as a thank you.”

“Oh,” she smiled at the recollection, they really were having the same little love story. “Well, I’m thinking about making fish for dinner, would you ask Chip if he likes it? I’ve invited him over for dinner after all his shifts with you.”

He laughs in a huff, he’s proud of her— and himself. He finally found a good one for her.

—

She outdoes herself for dinner. The food is amazing, the table is set, and she’s all dolled up for him. Her dad thinks it’s cute and he doesn’t mind being the third wheel, they all talk to each other like he’s been having dinner with them for years.

He helps clean up after dinner and her dad falls asleep watching Jeopardy in the living room like normal. She wraps her arms around his waist and rests her head on his back while he’s still doing the dishes, he’s still all sweat from work but she doesn’t care, she wants to give him a hug.

“What’s this for?” He whispers, placing a wet hand over hers on his stomach.

“Do I need a reason to hug you?” She counters.

“No,” he turns around in her grip so that he can give her a real hug. Wet hands on her back and everything.

She held him there, leaning against him as he leaned against the sink. His heartbeat was quick and he still smelled like sawdust and hard work, but he was warm and soft and it felt so right to just be there.

“Are you working with my dad tomorrow?”

“I will be for the rest of the month,” he confirms her hopes; he was going to be around often.

“Would it be alright if I asked you to stay the night?” She whispers incredibly soft for only him to hear.

He nods against her before taking her hand and leading her outside to the porch. They close the house door softly and then she’s back in his arms, “are you sure?”

She looks up at him and he’s even more beautiful today than he was yesterday, “I can take you back to your place to get some things? It would be nice to send you off to work in the morning.”

“You’ve decided that I’m yours now, haven’t you?” He teased her with a smile, perfectly fine with that.

She nods again, “you could move in tomorrow if you wanted, I’m not sure what’s possessed me to take you in like this, but I really don’t want to let you go.”

He delicately places his hands on her cheeks and pulls her into a kiss, it’s soft and short and he’s quick to look at her again.

“You can have me,” he whispers, “forever, if you want.”

It makes her laugh, “that's the sweetest con you know, you promise yourself to me forever and yet you have no idea if you can stay that long.”

He nods in agreement, “what if I promise my hardest to stay?”

“Okay,” she smiles again, leaning forward and kissing him again, finally.

—

The month is coming to an end and he’s slept beside her almost every single night, and even with that, they’re still taking it slow. They go on dates on the weekends, they make out in her car, he drives her to work, she kisses him at the door every morning he stays with them and they’ve done almost everything but have sex together.

They didn’t feel the need to yet, everything that was leading up to it was fun and interesting. She’s enjoyed sneaking around with him to get each other off back and forth, like an adult game of tag.

She’d blow him in the car on the way back to his apartment after dinner, or he’d come and pick her up after a shift at the diner only for them to end up making out in by the back door, and his hand always ended up in her panties. It was an interesting month of getting to know each other, but she wanted more now.

Her dad is going out of town on a fishing trip with his buddies this weekend, she’s booked time off and Chip has no idea what is in store for him. She plans a dinner, she gets all dressed up for him, there are candles and music and it’s perfect.

He’s amazed by the whole thing and she can really tell he’s been mostly alone for his whole life, he looks at a simple home-cooked meal like it was a million dollars and he was beyond grateful for everything. He almost cries he’s so thankful for the time and effort she puts into taking care of him.

He goes to pick up the plates and bring them to the kitchen as soon as their meal is over, “ah, ah, what do you think you’re doing?”

“Cleaning up for you?” Chip answers with a nervous tone that she hasn’t heard before.

“Don’t you want dessert?”

“I can bring it out for you, stay there,” he offers and then frowns when she stands anyway.

“You’re looking at it,” she whispers as she enters his space.

She takes the dishes from his hands and places them on the counter before wrapping her arms around him, “my dad isn’t going to be home until Sunday night.”

“Oh,” he whispers back before his hands reach for her ass and he’s picking her up.

Her legs wrap around his waist and she grips his shoulders for dear life as he hurries them up the stairs and towards her bedroom.

He’s incredibly strong for such a skinny guy, although he was filling out the longer he knew her. He makes it up the stairs and through her door as she gets a head start at kissing his neck until he has her pressed against the door.

“What’s with you and doors?” She teases as he rests her back on her feet, she draws him in closer to her so their chests are pressed together and she can look up into those sweet honey brown eyes.

“I’m just impatient.”

“Too bad, baby,” she teases, “I’m making you take your time with me tonight.”

“Yes ma’am,” he responded with a smirk, “I’m here to please you,” he whispered as he leaned in more.

Attaching his lips to her neck he kissed towards her ear, “to thank you,” he took a fistful of her hair and moved it out of the way before kissing down towards her shoulder. “To show you how much I appreciate everything you do for me.”

She pushed him back enough to get Chip to stop kissing her neck, instead, pressing her lips against his. Kissing him deeply before running her tongue across Chip’s bottom lip as a request to make out with him.

Making out with Chip was something she did often, yet it felt like not enough every time. His plump lips and velvety soft tongue, soft touches and rough stubble rubbing against her chin and cheeks.

He smelled like oak after a storm, it was warm and electric and delicious. She dipped her face into the curve of Chip’s neck and took a whiff before attacking him with open-mouthed kisses.

He giggled, his hands her hips now, the pads of his fingers going up and his nails trailing back down over the fabric of her dress, the perfect motion to make the hair on her body stand up.

She reaches for the hem of his shirt and pulls it up, separating from his neck so she had room to pull it off of him before reconnected their mouths. Kissing him deeply then pushing him onto the bed, watching Chip get comfortable before she crawled on top.

They wasted no time getting back into the groove of things, tongues clashing and hips grinding, soft moans in each other's mouths, hands roaming everywhere. She reached between them to undo his belt and the button of his jeans so his dick wasn’t rubbing against the zipper. Making out like that was some of the most fun she ever had, she could do it for hours on end.

She pulled back, kneeling above Chip, she grabbed his open belt and pulled it through all the loops and chucked it towards the floor. She massaged her hand over the bulge in his pants as she got closer to his crotch, watching as Chip threw his head back to moan.

She fiddled with the waistband, wanting to pull them down, Chip lifted his ass up ever so slightly for her to do so, she pulled his pants and boxers all the way off and threw them to the floor as well. Spreading Chip’s legs and taking him in her hand, finally. She dipped down ever so slightly and licked the tip and he let out a beautiful cry as his hips bucked. She loved his noises, she loved seeing what new ones she could make and he was more than willing to show her.

Chip gasped and reached out to grip her hair, she took that as an invitation to suck his dick, she wrapped her mouth around the tip, slipping her way down as far as she could go before bobbing back up. It was slow and sensual, she made sure to cover all of him; jerking what didn’t fit in her mouth, dipping down even further to kiss his balls and suck one into her mouth.

The people she’s been with before had never been reactive, they either gave her praise or roughly directed her deeper and deeper till she choked. Chip was different though, making soft noises that sounded like ‘yes’ and ‘god’, his little gasps and stutters of breath were the cutest things. It just encouraged her to do it more.

She pulled off, looking up at Chip who was just staring at her softly. If she knew anything about giving a blowjob she knew what her face probably looked like.. eyes blown out in passion and lips swollen bright red. It was a sight he loved to see, his hand slipped down to cup her cheek and then down to his chin where he used his thumb to brush her bottom lip.

“Beautiful,” he whispered.

She crawled back up and sat on his hips, taking the hem of her dress in her hands and pulling it over her head. She was wearing a nice matching underwear set for him, nothing too fancy because she knew it would just end up on the floor anyway.

She leaned back down, attaching their mouths once again, he wrapped his arms around her back and slowly rolled them over safely. Now on top of her, looking up into Chip’s eyes was a blessing. He blinked a few times, making sure it was real and he wasn’t dreaming that the most beautiful girl in the world was looking at him like that.

“What do you want me to do?” He asked gently with pleading eyes that let her know he was desperate to touch her however she pleased.

“Make me yours, Chip.”

“I think you always have been,” he replied.

His beautiful sweaty curls drooping over his eyes, she smiled as she brushed them back. Petting his face softly as she looked at him, he was so beautiful. The light was bouncing off the wall just enough to illuminate him.

“How do you want to do it?” She whispered.

“Let’s just go where the rhythm takes us,” Chip’s voice dropped low as he did, pressing their chests together, close enough to kiss as he rubbed their noses together softly.

She kissed him, wrapping her hands around his neck and pulling him in more. He squeezed his arms between her back and the mattress, wrapping himself around her. he decided to reach into her panties with his free hand.

He took a moment to admire her chest, she had caught him staring before. He constantly used them as a pillow, he wanted to touch them so badly, so she leaned forward and let him unhook her bra. Pulling it from her body and towards the floor.

She could sense his hesitation, taking both his hands off her sides and guiding them to her breasts. He whimpered as he felt them, she closed her eyes at the feeling. A small moan escaping her lips as he groped her. His big hands felt amazing, so strong and gentle, rough and yet soothing. Perfection against her skin.

She leaned back against the bed then, leaving him sitting up on her hips. Her boobs flattening out into a funny shape as she laid back, making her smirk in embarrassment. Only making Chip love them more, diving in and kissing the newly exposed skin.

He dragged his bottom lip over her skin between kisses. Leaving a trail of where he’s been already. She had a hand in his hair, holding it out of his face as she watched him.

Panting as she tried to grind up against him, the arousal in her core was overpowering. She needed to feel more, she wanted all of him. She was addicted to him already, hoping she’ll have forever with him.

She was too hot, feeling the sweat gather behind her knees as she tried to find more friction against him. She didn’t mind all the exploring he was doing, it was a wonderful appetizer, but she was nowhere close to being full.

He pulled back then to sit on his knees between her legs before Chip slowly slipped her underwear off. Raising her hips softly before resting her ass back in his lap and spreading her legs.

Fully on display for him, she played with her nipples slightly. Knowing how much he loved her boobs, watching her with a slack jaw as his hands ran up her legs.

He snapped back into the moment when she pushed her ass down against him, a whimper slipping past his lips as he placed his thumb on her clit, rubbing gentle circles into the bundle of nerves.

With his pointer finger, on the other hand, he traced around her entrance, not pushing in, just exploring the wetness as it dripped out. She tightened up on command, seeing his breath hitch as his finger almost slipped in.

“Please?” She begged, arching her back more so that he could finger her.

“Can we try something?”

“Yeah,” she nodded, resting on her forearms as she leaned forward.

“If I lay back would you, um,” he couldn’t say the words. They felt too filthy leaving his mouth, pointing at his face instead.

She sat up then, pushing him back against the pillows and settling herself over his chest and gripping the headboard for support, Chip wrapped his arms around her hips and guided her forward more.

Her legs were already trembling in anticipation as she hovered over his face, feeling his breath right on her core, Without warning, he sucked her clit into his mouth.

“Fuck,” she gasped as she smacked her forehead against the blocked window behind her bed, hoping to god no one could see through the blinds.

He pushed one finger in as his tongue played with her clit. She couldn’t help rocking her hips against his face, helping him get deeper inside of her. He curled his finger, lightly fucking her with it as he sucked, licked, kissed her pussy.

She was a mess, shaking over top of him as she tried to keep her orgasm in. Not wanting to cum yet, wanting to feel all of him inside of her before she did that. So he added a second finger, making her cry out in pleasure against the window without even trying.

Her orgasm ripped through her as she fucked his face, holding his hair with one hand as the other steadied her on the headboard. She couldn’t believe how intense it was, almost knocking the wind out of her as she road it out on his tongue.

He smiled against her, kissing her clit once more before pulling out and helping her back towards his lap. She wasted no time hovering over his cock as it strained on his stomach.

“Do you want to?” She asked, trying to control her breathing but still looking like a panting mess as she anticipated him.

“I’ll always want you,” he assures her with the sweetest smile.

She wraps her arms around him and rolls them over once more, he adjusts between her legs and drags himself along her overstimulated clit, she shudders at the feeling and then laughs at her own reaction.

“Ready?” He whispered.

She nodded, feeling Chip push in, she reached for his hands where they rested on her hips and interlocked their fingers. He bottomed out and dropped to hover over her, bringing their interlocked hands over her head.

She reached up to kiss him, Chip pushing into the kiss and making her settle into the pillow once again. It honestly felt like a movie scene, a first time between two star-crossed lovers. He pulled out ever so slightly before thrusting in again, she gasped against his mouth.

Chip trusted more while she pushed her hips into it as well, an offbeat rhythm developed in pure ecstasy. She let go of Chip’s hands to snake them around his waist, to run her fingers over the soft and slightly chilled skin of his back. Feeling the bump of his spine as Chip ducked into the crook of her neck, placing kisses along her collarbone.

Chip changed the position of his thrust as he wrapped his arms under her, arching her back ever so slightly to reach the bundle of nerves that left her a quivering mess. Y/N, in response to the added pleasure, ran her sharp nails down Chip’s back and he groaned at the feeling, “do that again.” he requested.

“Like that?” She asked, dragging his nails down him once more.

“Yeah,” Chip moaned, dark and deep.

The feeling of pure bliss overtook her body with each thrust, warm chills ran through him with each brush of his thumb on her clit. Every kiss to her neck and squeeze around her waist made her feel like she was on fire.

The hairs on her arms stood up, goosebumps formed along his forearms. Chip kissed from her neck to her nipple and took the hard nib into his mouth causing her to moan like she never had before.

“Chip,” she panted, pulling Chip’s face back up to his.

His eyes were absolutely blown out in pleasure, those golden wonders he used to stare into were now replaced solely by the pupils. She ran her thumb across Chip’s cheek before reaching to the nape of his neck to pull him into another kiss. Open mouths pressing together, hot air on each other's faces as they panted to the pleasure.

She was in heaven.

Her orgasm bubbled in her stomach, “are you close?” Chip whispered right beside her mouth, kissing her cheek lightly after.

She hummed, unable to speak with the mass amount of pleasure coursing through her body. Chip fucked into her a bit harder, a tiny bit faster, hitting her g-spot dead on each time to the point the nerves in her thighs were quaking uncontrollably.

She was so close, Chip used 3 fingers to quickly rub over her clit before she threw her head back with a shout. Cumming with her eyes pressed shut, pleasure coursed through her body stronger than she’s ever felt it before.

Nothing had ever made her cum that hard, ripping through her like her soul was leaving her body. She dug her nails deep into Chip’s skin holding him close to his body while he kept thrusting.

A high-pitched gasp left his lips, close to her ear as his hips sputtered into her’s one last time.

She still hadn’t opened her eyes, her breath rigid, she felt winded. Chip had stilled as he came inside of her and then collapsed into her, deadweight laying on her.

Chip mustered enough energy to prop himself upon his arm and look at her. Using his free hand he ran his thumb against her bottom lip once more to get her to open her eyes.

“Hi,” he whispered.

“Hi,” she replied with a smile.

“You okay?” he asked.

She nodded, smile growing, “that was amazing.”

“Better than you hoped?”

“I’ve thought of doing this for the last month, I knew it would be amazing but I never imagined it would be that good.” she complimented Chip, “I think I died when I came, no joke.”

He laughed, dropping himself back into the crook of her neck. He kissed her more, up to her ear and across her jaw to her lips. Soft small kissed followed by a long-drawn-out one. Chip pulled their lips apart with a smack.

“Let me clean us up,” he said.

At that moment she realized Chip was still in her, soft and all. He pulled out slowly it was always such a weird feeling to be empty again. He sat up and made his way off the bed, he went to her bathroom.

Coming back still naked, his dick bobbing between his legs, she loved the view. He had a thing of baby wipes with him, knowing exactly where she kept everything in her bathroom by now.

“I can do it,” she suggested, reaching for them.

Chip pulled them back away from her, “I want to.” he said softly.

Running the cold wipe over her soft skin, Chip looked mesmerized. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered.

“Thank you,” she replied with a shy smile, “can you come back up here now?”

He tossed the wipes onto her night table and cuddled right back into her naked body, she held onto him tightly so he wouldn’t escape. She knew he wouldn’t, but she loved him so much she never wanted to let go.

“I love you, Y/N,” he whispered into her neck. “It’s okay if you don’t feel the same yet.”

“Are you kidding?” She laughed, pulling back so she could see his face as he looked up at her. “I think I’ve been in love with you since you walked in and said I was beautiful.”

He reaches for her cheeks and pulls her in for another kiss, “I’m going to love you forever.”

The words used to scare her, but now she looks at him and thinks they might be right for them.

“Forever it is, then.”

taglist: @g0lden-cth @doctorspenceryeet @samuel-de-champagne-problems @reiding-recs @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria@reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @jswessie187 @k-k0129 @calm-and-doctor @blanchardsbk @thatsonezesty13

[spidernerdsblog]

You’re a Sunflower (Part 2)

A/N : as some of you requested a second part here is it. I tried to incorporate all of the ideas you sent. Hope you like it. Let me know what you think.

Part 1

Pairing : Peter Parker x Reader

Summary : you finally come out of coma.

Warnings : none 

Peter’s phone rang the caller id flashing with Mr Stark’s name as he receives the call

“Hey Mr. Stark”

“Hey kid, where are you?” his voice sounded a little wary.

“Uh I’m at a college party. Is everything alright?” Peter frowns.

“Uh Peter you might want to be here at the compound right now”

“Anything wrong?”

“It’s Y/N” Peter felt his heart clench at it as an unknown fear gripped him.

“Y/N? What happened to her?” he asks restlessly.

“Things don't seem pretty good you should come as early as possible” Peter ends the call immediately without wasting time he rushed out of the party. Reaching the compound he runs out of the elevator to go to your room.

“Y/N! Y/N!” he pants as he finds your room empty.

“Peter..” Tony places a hand on his shoulder.

“Mr Stark where’s Y/N?” he turns to him with tears in his eyes.

“She has been shifted to the emergency room, her vitals were fluctuating massively. We have called in the best team of doctors and Strange is personally supervising everything. All will be fine kid” Tony tries his best to calm him down just then Strange and Banner walk out of the emergency room.

“What is her condition now Strange?” Tony asks.

“Nothing satisfactory. The toxin levels in her brain are just increasing by time we are trying to lower it but she isn’t responding to any of the drugs. If it deteriorates further I’m sorry to say but she might suffer a multi organ failure” Strange informs sadly.

“Mr Stark what if you give my blood to her? The spider venom in it will quickly heal her” Peter sounded desperate as he proposes the idea to them.

“Peter, are you forgetting that your father genetically modified the venom which is only compatible with his bloodline. Your blood will just worsen her condition” Tony says disapprovingly.

“I know but you’re the genius Tony Stark. Can’t you and Bruce think of a way to reverse engineer it and make her DNA compatible with my blood?” 

“It's impossible Peter it will take days, we even don’t know if it will even work or not and Y/N is running out of time” Banner points out.

“No, no there’s got to be some other way” he rambles pacing up and down the room.

“Peter, listen, you need to calm down” Tony advises.

“How can I calm down when the love of my life, my best friend is dying in front of my eyes and I’m sitting here helpless?!” Peter snaps out at him before dropping down on a nearby chair feeling awful at yelling at his father figure like mentor. He was completely broken from inside seeing you in your deathbed. He has lost his parents, his uncle, he doesn’t want to lose you too.

“Peter, we can understand what you’re going through everyone here loves Y/N  dearly but you have to stay strong” Natasha sat beside him rubbing his shoulders gently to help him calm down.

“Her pulse is declining” one of the doctors announced

“Charge the defibrillators now” Strange orders as he rushes inside.

“Y/N!” Peter stands up immediately 

“No, Peter you can’t go inside” everybody stops him.

“You don’t understand Y/N is dying she needs me” Peter sobbed.

“No one is dying today, get yourself together Queens” Steve orders him strictly.

Peter saw through the glass partition from outside the emergency room, your face covered with an oxygen mask and several wires connecting your body to different machines in the room, the team of doctors surrounding you trying their best in keeping you alive. One of them charged the defibrillator and placed the paddles on your chest. Your body jolted at the shock as everyone observed the monitor with anticipation but unfortunately your heart rate was continuously decreasing. They repeated the process but it seemed to be a futile attempt.

The beeping went slower and the HRM flat lined as Peter stared at it blankly.

Is this how your story ends? No heartfelt conversations, no last goodbyes just you drifting away from him in your sleep forever. The promise you made to each other of growing old together now lay broken. He hates to make this about himself but what is he supposed to do without you? When life gets hard who is he gonna pour his heart out to? Who’s going to cheer him up and make him believe in himself? Will he never get the chance to say how much he loves you? That you’re his ray of sunshine, his sunflower. You lighten up his life with your warmth and love and without you it’s all dark and cold. Tears trickled down his eyes as he watched the doctors give cpr to your limp body.

“Okay one more time” they charged the device and pressed it on your chest. Your body jolted all eyes inside and outside the room trained on the monitor hoping for some miracle to happen and after some nerve racking seconds later the machine started to beep again with kinks appearing in the monitor showing your heart was beating again. Everyone heaved a sigh of relief and rejoiced at it.

Strange and Banner walk out of the room to break the news that you were finally responding to the medicines and the toxin levels have decreased in your body. They also indicated that there may be a slight chance of you to wake up from your coma. Peter refused to go back home and stayed up all night by your side. He had decided to never let you out of his sight anymore.

🌻

Next morning Peter was dozing off beside you half asleep whilst you lay on the bed motionless, the sunlight peeking through the blinders of the window when suddenly you mumbled in your sleep.

“Peter…Peter..” Peter immediately jolted out of his sleep, his eyes wide in surprise and disbelief he thought he may be hearing things due to lack of sleep and then he watched you stir in your sleep there was a surge of emotions inside him as he jumped off his seat.

“Y/N?” lacing his hand to yours he shouted out “Mr Stark! Y/N is awake!”  

“Peter..” you mumbled again 

“Y/N I’m right here” his voice quivered, holding your hand tighter as tears filled his eyes. You squint your eyes open your pupils slowly adjusting to the lighting of the room and the first thing you saw was Peter’s warm honey brown eyes red and puffy tears streaming down the corners.

“Hey” he sniffles, smiling weakly. You tried to sit up with a groan.

“No, no don’t get up you’re weak” Peter makes you lie down again, your eyes scanning the unfamiliar surroundings.

“Where am I?” you ask in a raspy voice.

“You’re in the Avengers med facility” he informs wiping his tears with his hands.

“Why? What happened?” you frown as you hold your head a dull ache still persisting. “Why can’t I remember anything? The last thing I recall is you defeated eletro and-and then Harry threw me off the building, I-I was so scared” you rambled. He pulled you in his arms caressing the back of your head gently.

“I know, I know but everything is okay now, you’re safe” he murmured softly, you pulled away to look at him properly. 

“Did you get him?” Peter takes a long sigh before breaking the news to you.

“No Y/N and it has been 3 months to that incident” his voice was calm as your eyes bulged out in shock.

“Wait 3 months! But why don’t I remember anything after that?” you were totally lost.

“Y/N you had been in a coma for the last three months” he informs you.

“What?” you looked at him in disbelief 

“Yes Y/N I couldn’t save you on time and you were badly injured, the doctors were also unsure that if you were ever gonna recover but finally you are awake now”

“Oh my god..wait, where’s mom and dad? Are they ok? And aunt May?” you badgered him with questions.

“Everyone is fine Y/N and they will soon be here to meet you” he assures you meanwhile Tony came rushing in.

“Peter we heard you..” he stopped as soon as his eyes went to you “oh my god Y/N you’re finally awake” he exclaims in joy as the other avengers walk in the room they were equally happy and relieved that you have finally recovered.

“Welcome back to the land of the awakened” Natasha snickers giving you a warm hug as you smiled widely “Girl you really scared us last night”

Everyone asked you about how you’re feeling to which you had to reassure them several times that you feel fine. Your parents came to visit you along with aunt May; it was indeed an emotional moment for everyone. 

Later when everybody had finally left you alone in your room to rest Peter came in with a bouquet of sunflowers in hand. Your face instantly lit up seeing him. You never got the chance to talk to him properly between your parents and friends dropping by to pay you a visit and ask about your wellbeing so you were dying to have some alone time with him. 

“Aw you brought me sunflowers?” you chimed and he gave you a warm smile.

“Of course they’re your favourite after all, I actually brought them everyday for you so whenever you wake up you see the thing that makes you happiest” he says putting them inside the vase and then sits beside you.

“Then I have to say it's you who makes me the happiest” you reach out your hand to cup his face he holds it with his hand and softly kisses it.

Tony along with the other avengers were on their way to check up on you but they stopped at the doorway seeing you both.

“Aww they look so cute together again” Natasha gushed while Tony and Steve broke into a smile.

“I’m so happy to see the kid smiling again these past three months had been hell for him” Tony looks at Peter proudly.

“Let’s not disturb them right now and ruin the moment for them” Steve suggested.

“Yeah let them be, they deserve some alone time” Natasha and Tony agreed and went away. 

“Ok I know the college applications are closed now but I’m sure Mr Stark can pull some strings and I’ll provide you with all the notes you don’t have to worry about anything ok” Peter says cheerfully.

“Peter I just woke up from a three month coma. The last thing I want to hear right now is about college and exams” 

“Ok so what do you wanna talk about?” he scratches the back of his neck nervously.

“Can we just talk about you? How are you?”

“Well now that you’re out of coma I’m good, I really missed you so much” his face drops remembering the tragic night.

“Wish I could say the same if I wasn’t completely knocked out heh” you tried to lighten the mood.

“I was so scared for a moment I thought I lost you forever” he clings onto your hand

“It’s ok Peter I’m here now and completely fine, see” you tried to cheer him up

“No it's not this was all my fault, if it wasn’t for me your life wouldn’t have come in danger. It was to take revenge on me Harry threw you off the building and I couldn’t even save you” he sniffles. You cradle his face with your hands and make him look at you.

“Peter, look at me. it. wasn’t. your fault. do you understand? You had always tried to keep me away from your dangerous life but it was I who insisted to stay by your side and I’m gonna continue doing that” you gazed into his chocolate brown eyes “and as I said before I laugh at the face of danger see I even defeated death for you” you chuckled.

“And that will be the last time Y/N, promise me whatever happens you’ll never put your life in danger for me again, promise me Y/N” he insists as you sigh.

“Okay I promise you” you pull him closer to you as he leans forward to capture your lips. It had been a long time he had felt your soft lips on his as he instantly melted in the kiss. It was so delicate, soft and full of love as tears of joy streamed down both of your eyes.

..................................................................................

[cloveroctobers]

i was wondering if you could do an imagine where olivia is sexually assaulted and after her behaviour around the house drastically changes until she eventually tells jordan + her parents? i just wanted to see a protective, baker family imagine that focused on her :))

TW: mentions of s******* assault, trauma, bodily fluids, college parties, panic attacks, depression, etc…

A/N: took me a minute to decide if I wanted to write this piece since it’s slightly triggering for myself and can be to others. Not overly detailed ofc but I hope when I do fully get back into writing we’ll have some happy moments to come! Especially for my girl Liv.

SOMETHINGS WRONG — O. Baker

Olivia Baker felt like she could make a list of what she can now label herself as which held negative connotations:

The pill popper

The drunk

That mixed girl

The other twin

The girl with no solid friends

The boyfriend-stealer

The wannabe woke girl

And now the victim

She couldn’t get her mind to grasp that. That this happened to her, that she let this happen to her. If she was in her right mind she would realize that this isn’t something she could ever blame herself for but she knew others would, if she ever let them know. But she wouldn’t, she couldn’t.

What was supposed to be a fun weekend in Atlanta turned into a moment she wouldn’t forget. It was all fun and games, it actually felt like the one true moment in time where she felt free and happy. Surrounded by good people with good intentions, which only consisted of Spencer, Jordan, and Simone. These were her main people, her right hands, and her go-to but that seemed to fade the night her life drastically changed—yet again.

The events that occurred that night were burned into her mind in spurts. Olivia couldn’t piece them all together but she knew. She knew something was wrong with the way that she felt even though she was dressed as if nothing occurred. She knew the moment she pulled herself off the floor in her own drool to look at herself in the mirror that something was wrong. She knew it in her appearance and in the way that she felt. Her confirmations were proven correct when she decided to use the bathroom, what she felt, and what she saw.

She was gagging and struggling to breathe. Olivia Baker knew something happened to her when she realized she woke up alone on the cold bathroom floor. She was doing so well and thought she was stronger than this, how could this be added to the things of what happened to her or what she allowed to happen to her? Her mind was weak, somewhere in the night she let her guard down and now she was here. It all felt like her fault.

What will they say about her now?

Olivia’s experienced a handful of trauma in her teenage life before but THIS…this was something else. She felt like she was going to pass out again until she found the strength to let the anxiety take its course in subsiding. Pushing herself up with a huge whimper and wince, she began searching the bathroom for her phone as it was not on her body. She remembered the first thing she wanted to do was document this because as soon as she got back to Simone’s aunt’s house she was going to wash away the filth she felt.

Perhaps that was another mistake but she couldn’t erase what she felt beneath and on her skin. It felt like Olivia was moving in slow motion searching the fancy bathroom, stumbling and shoving items out of the way in search of her device. When she slipped on something in the bathroom, she failed to catch herself, her cheek colliding with the tile floor, she knew that would leave another bruise along with the rest on her body. Her eyes connected with the object which looked to be covered in what appeared to be blood.

With a shaky finger she reached out to it, and recoiled back as her finger became coated in the copper stench. That’s when the tears began to cloud her vision and she wanted to cover her cries but she felt frozen, like she did hours prior. So she cried until her body ached internally and furthermore externally, and with a shaky breath those came to a halt when she heard something rattling.

She moved painfully slow, ripping the shower curtain back to see her phone tossed in the stone shower face down. Swallowing, she picked the phone up to see that the now missed call was from Jordan. She had over thirty missed calls and fifteen text messages. Blinking Olivia unlocked her phone and opened up her camera and angled her phone before hearing multiple shutter speeds.

At least that part of her mind was still functioning. She thought to herself bitterly as she went over to the mirror once again, setting her phone down on the counter to call a Uber back to Simone’s aunt’s house.

This was just another scar in her story, she guessed. So she rinsed her face, and gave Simone a call first…feeling as if this was the best option out of the three…when all she really wanted to do was call her mom.

“Olivia!” Simone greeted, “Girl, where the hell are you? Last night was so crazy and Jordan was trying to stalk you but realized you turned off your location, which he said is something you’d never do but I figured since you went off with Othello and them you would be fine.”

It took a minute for Olivia to respond. Her vision still locked on her reflection as that name sent something through her. Making her eyes close shut as she heard the voice introduce itself with that name but she couldn’t connect the face to it. However it seemed like Simone was familiar with who Olivia disappeared off with.

“I’m in a Uber on my way back to your aunt’s house.” Olivia knew she sounded like herself to Simone but her face was stoney and she did not feel like herself…as to be expected.

Simone nodded, “okay…cool! I’m glad you got back to one of us because we were getting a little worried.”

“Worried I’d relapse?” Olivia stated but cleared her throat knowing Simone didn’t deserve the brunt of her trauma, “Please tell me Jordan didn’t call our parents.”

Simone chose to ignore that, wishing later that she didn’t—however her and Olivia were still trying to build their relationship as in-laws so they were still feeling out each other’s temperaments and personalities, “No. I persuaded him not to…although I know that would have changed if you didn’t show up at some part today and I don’t blame him. Him and Spencer are getting a little stir-crazy without you. So please bring your butt here so my aunt can take us to this flea market she keeps going on about.”

“Alright,” Olivia breathed out a laugh that felt humorless to her, “I should be there in ten according to the ride but we all know down here in the south it’s really thirty minutes.”

“Tell me about it! It’s always ‘oh, it’s right down the street!’ But why we still driving tho?!” Simone laughed, “see you soon. I’ll let the boys know you’re on your way.”

And with that they ended the call.

Olivia shoved the clothes she worn that night back underneath her bed, still unwashed and out of sight. She went searching under her bed after her black oil pastel pencil slid off her bed. It was always in the back of her mind that the clothes rotted underneath the place where she lay her head. Sleep no longer existed to her but it’s not like a good portion of concealer didn’t help hide her puffy bags.

Olivia was violated going on about three weeks now and she was expected to go on like everything was okay. That was the challenge. And it was exhausting and moments throughout her day felt like someone would hold onto her throat and squeeze for minutes at a time.

She kept up with her therapy so that nothing about her seemed suspicious. She had thoughts about her pills and the thoughts about sipping alcohol made her stomach turn—so perhaps that part was a good thing. Her dad moved back into the house so the family dynamic was shifting yet again, her mom made it her mission to not have any booze in the house and any over the counter medication that was addressed to any of them in the house would be under only her and Billy’s care.

Those wouldn’t be strong enough for Olivia anyways, and that thought alone made her laugh bitterly but she was glad someone was taking the initiative to her health. Liv was not to have any access to it. It might not have been said but Olivia Baker always paid attention to everything.

She was doing well at hiding, almost flawless in her mind; that something had changed her life for the worse. Whereas with her pill popping/partying had been out in the open and her drinking was slightly undercover, Olivia thought she was doing well acting like her assault didn’t take place—yet the signs were there however it was cautious on how to approach. She had been careless, leaving her phone unlocked when she went off to the bathroom and with iPhone’s broadcasting your memories with photo’s was what lit the flame.

Laura was sitting at the island previously with Olivia while the boys were seated on the couch watching some game. She was sipping her voss water when Olivia’s phone let out the alert, which was closer to Laura’s view. At first Laura thought they were nudes but when she picked the phone up to click on the photo’s, she felt her heart drop to her stomach. A gasp unknowingly left her lips, causing Billy to look over his shoulder at his on-again wife.

“Laura, baby? Are you alright?”

Before she could say anything else Olivia walked back into the room, rubbing the hand cream further into her hands as she made her way over to her mom. When Laura snapped her head up to stare at her daughter, Olivia immediately stopped in her tracks feeling her mother’s eyes almost stinging her skin.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Olivia tilted her head to the side, wondering why the blonde woman appeared distraught.

Laura wanted to hold the phone up but felt a protectiveness come over her not wanting to gain the attention of the two men in the house, even though Billy already had his body turned sideways at the exchange.

“Olivia, what is this?” Laura whispered, pointing at the phone.

It didn’t dawn on Olivia right away what her mother could be possibly be talking about, in a sense she tried to forget but when she looked back at her art pieces, once she completed them in her sketch book, she realized unconsciously it’s not something you can just forget.

Laura swiped against Olivia’s phone at each picture making Olivia sharply turn her head to the side and swallow the lump that formed in her throat.

“Who’s in these images, Olivia?!” Laura didn’t mean to raise her voice, but she wanted answers.

Now she gained the attention of Jordan who broke his eyes away from the commercial playing on the television.

Olivia chewed on her chapped lips not wanting to say anything. She didn’t want anyone else adding this to their list of things to worry about when it came to her. It was ironic really, Olivia Baker was always involving herself in everyone else’s issues but pushed her own pain to the side. She vowed with Spencer that they would start to only worry about themselves this senior year and yet Olivia seemed to not do that. In a sense…she going to therapy, she was picking back up her old hobby to ease her mind but the huge problem about this was she wasn’t talking about it. To anyone.

“Olivia—

Laura seemed to take a different approach, using what she learned in family therapy to level her tone and to not make her daughter feel cornered. However she was highly concerned and she wanted to hear what she already suspected from these pictures. She kept her eyes trained on Olivia who reached out to the island to balance herself, now feeling the room spin. Laura pushed the bar stool back and went to Olivia’s aid but she flinched, ripping her body away from her mother which made Laura let out a small sob.

“What’s going on?” Billy asked, now getting to his feet.

Laura didn’t want to show Billy the pictures but with the way she was clutching Olivia’s phone to her chest made the man snatch the phone from his wife’s grasp.

Billy on the other hand was furious. He rubbed at his face and Olivia didn’t want to see the expression on his face so she kept her back to the both of them now. It was when Jordan towered over Olivia, hoping that he could get an answer out of her opposed to what their parents were failing to do, he didn’t touch her but he paid close attention to the way she was acting right now and how his father was trying not to scream in the kitchen.

Something was wrong. Jordan could feel it more than sense it from what his parents were demonstrating, and yeah they were twins but they haven’t radiated the same energy off the other since they were kids. And who’s to know that might have just been in their heads like many people tried to argue but Jordan and Olivia were extremely close as kids, they shared a whole womb together so they had to share more connections outside in the world too? Their bond was much stronger as children but they were making their way back to each other as they got older. Yes they were their own people but it’s undeniable if they said energy was never a factor in their relationship as twins.

Jordan was calm as he peered down into Olivia’s for eyes, patient, waiting for her to say what she willing to say. Everything was silent to her ears, Olivia blocked out Billy wheezing out his frustrations as he crouched down in front of the island and Laura’s cries.

Olivia felt so small.

Jordan knew before Spencer said something that Olivia was acting a little off. He tried to be better as a brother in paying attention to her as she always did for him. He was worried when she disappeared off with some kid named after Shakespeare that Simone used to spend summer’s with as a kid. Sure Simone said he and his friends were good people but they were also a year or two older, settling into the toxic part of college life. He was the last one with Olivia after they watched some performances with Spencer and Simone already on the dance floor with other people.

“You let Liv go off with these people we don’t even know?” Jordan remembers Spencer saying to him after he got off the dance floor.

Jordan didn’t like how Spencer said this to him so he replied back with, “you were just on the dance floor with someone you don’t know. None of us control my sister, Spence. She’s allowed to hang out with whoever she wants. Plus Simone says Oscar is good people.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know that man,” Spencer tried to come correct, “Simone said she only spent summers with othello,” He informed Jordan of the guy’s actual name which Jordan sucked his teeth at, “so that doesn’t mean she really knows him all that well either.”

“Are you trying to question my girl, right now?” Jordan furrowed his brows, always looking for a fight due to his impulsiveness.

Spencer raised his brows, “I’m not questioning nothing. I’m just stating the obvious. We don’t know nobody out here, we not from here. We just have to be smarter is all I’m sayin’.”

Jordan didn’t like to be wrong but he felt like he wasn’t completely wrong? Sure his big brother instincts should have kicked in stronger but he was too focused on some corny dude pushing up on Simone. That was a little foul now that he thought back on it, Olivia should have been just as important—and she is. Which is why he wanted to do right in the present.

He noticed before Layla pointed out a couple of times that Olivia was bringing out the darker fashion choices and that it was nice to see sometimes, since she “did it so well.” He noticed before Simone told him to tell Olivia that she would be over to help her straighten the back of her hair out and he noticed that she was wearing eyeliner in her waterline again.

He noticed the long showers and staying outside in the rain, he noticed she’s been slacking on her podcast and scribbling in her old sketch book. He noticed her listening to nothing but Fiona Apple, Billie Holiday, old Alicia Keys songs, and Fefe Dobson instead of her usual song choices like: Aaliyah, Jorja Smith, Billie Eilish, H.E.R., Doja Cat, and Mereba. He even fought with himself at night standing outside her closed door to say something. He did remember asking her one night at dinner, which she barely ate, if she was okay and with a smile that didn’t reach her rimmed eyes…she said she was.

To Olivia it was silent as she admitted her truth about what happened to her in Atlanta, but to the rest of the Baker’s it was loud and clear. Over the course of three weeks, she gathered it all. The memories came back when they needed to and the fact that he reached out to her twice since she returned home was appalling. Olivia didn’t know if it was the guilt—that might have been a stretch…she didn’t know the piece of shit of a person at all, the audacity, or the curiosity on his part to see what she was going to do about this. If anything. She gave no information away in the DM’s, in fact she barely sent anything back.

There was no weight that lifted from her chest as she spoke her secret into the air, she still felt pain that she tried to numb down but it just felt like another burden she inflicted on her loved ones and she hated that idea. That she caused this. Most days she felt numb but she knew anger was brewing along the horizon.

Jordan went to Olivia who stepped back, which felt like Jordan just got punched in the gut. And he’s taken a lot of hits before in his eighteen years of life but this one might have been the worse blow he’s experienced. And that’s coming from a guy still healing from a concussion.

“Oh, god. I’m so sorry, Liv I—.” She heard Her twin say to her but it sounded like she was under water.

Life has been that way for awhile now, if you truly asked her.

‘I don’t want pitty.’ Her inner thoughts hissed. That was last thing she wanted. She was now coming to terms that she wanted this emptiness to vanish, if that was what this even was. She wanted to be back to where she was or at least as a kid where she didn’t have to worry about a damn thing. She didn’t want to endure what she’s been feeling since she entered her teenage years. Olivia Baker wanted so much more out of this life but lately it seems as if her purpose was to only be handed out shitty lessons instead.

What lesson was this? To showcase how the world can take away anything it wanted and leave you to deal or not deal with the aftermath afterwards?

The anger was indeed setting in.

Olivia didn’t realize that eventually Jordan put his arms around her and she gripped onto him for dare life. Her body didn’t shrink into itself like it commonly did weeks after what happened whenever someone touched her.

Her parents kept their distance picking up on the fact that she didn’t want to be touched but her other half held onto her and that seemed to be a step in the right direction for now. Instead Billy and Laura held onto each other too, their heads whirling around with how to further provide the best possible care for their daughter.

[terrm9]

Father’s Day

Ethan makes sure to celebrate the Father’s Day with his daughter. (Ethan X Chiara X Matilda)

Words count: 4 000

Warnings: two swear words, fluff

Author’s note: I don’t know what happened here guys. I am so sorry, this fic lacks plot and point, depth, quality, this truly is one fluffy piece of shit. I had a good feeling about it when the idea appeared in my brain and then I started to write and nothing seemed right. And I just kept telling myself ‘just keep writing and it will start making sense. It will get better’... and suddenly the fic is finished and it still doesn’t make sense. I was so close to not posting it, but then I thought that sometimes mindless fluff can make my mood better and so maybe it can do some good to you too. Love you all and I promise I won’t be angry or hurt if you hate this:D

Also Ethan is ~47 in this fic, if you thought I wouldn't mention his graying hair, I am sorry but I did

Also also, I didn't find the strength needed for a proof reading this and so I didn't proof read it. If you see a mistake, please pretend you don't see it

The sun was long set at the time Ethan stepped into the apartment and even though he rationally knew that it was late, he couldn’t quite give up on his hope that maybe Matilda was still up. On the days like this, when more patients came in than out of the hospital and there was so much of a paperwork that he has to bring it home with him, there is nothing Ethan loved more than to put his daughter to sleep and then spend a nice quiet evening with Chiara.

But of course, Matilda was fast asleep – judging by the silence filling the whole apartment – and so Ethan was looking forward to skipping to the part of sharing an evening with his wife.

Chiara didn’t notice him as he stepped into the living room, her nose slightly crinkled as she was filling some papers spread on the dining table, white earpods in her ears.

Looks like I am not the only one to bring work home with me today.

Ethan stopped in his tracks for a moment, just inhaling the familiar scent of Chiara and home and absorbing the picture in front of him. Even after alsmot ten years since he met her for the first time, even though she was his wife now, someone he woke up next to every morning, Chiara still – always – managed to knock the air out of his lungs. How her smile only gained more brightness through the years and how she looked almost like a girl with her hair braided on one side.

Had he been an artist, he would call her his muse.

But he was just a man, a doctor with any artistic words stuck in his throat and so he just kept staring at Chiara and thought, inspiration, that’s what she was, because even the most rational of men could get inspired.

„I can feel you standing there,“ Chiara exclaimed suddenly, putting the earpods off and turning to him with that bright smile.

„My apologies,“ he smiled faintly and crossed the distance between them to give her, what Chiara called ‚a proper greeting‘. He kissed her softly and it only took the feeling of Chiara’s warm body under his hands to ease the tension in him almost completely.

„Matilda missed you tonight,“ Chiara murmured into his chest, not willing to break their embrance.

„As I missed her,“ Ethan sighed. „Did you have an eventful afternoon?“

Chiara chuckled at that, parting from him at last to switch her phone off and leave the work on the dining table.

„Just the usual. The teacher asked them to draw themselves in the future and she couldn’t decide which version of that future she should draw because she wants to be everything.“

Ethan could imagine the conversation very well. Matilda, at the age of five, knew exactly what she didn't want to become when she grows up - a doctor. She kept shifting between wishing to be a travel blogger like her aunt Kyra or a photographer like aunt Alicia. After a weekend spent in Providence, she proclaimed that she could also imagine being a cable repairwoman like grandpa, because grandpa has the coolest coworkers that came over and let her eat chocolate cookies and watch football with them. And if by any unfortunate coincidence she should become a doctor after all, she would definitely be a surgeon like uncle Bryce, because he actually cuts people and that's much more interesting than her parents' job. All they do is talk about the patients.

„I promised her you would take her to school tomorrow. You have rounds in the morning but I can taker over,“ which would only be a service for you, she thought to herself. „That would certainly make her feel better.“

„Was she that sad that I didn’t come home earlier?“

"Oh, she was more sad about the Father's Day program at her school – you know, the one where kids and their dads go together - but I explained her why you had to miss it."

Ethan furrowed his brows, confused for a while.

"Why do I have to miss it?" he asked as he picked Matilda's stuffed llama from the floor.

"It's the Wednesday when you are at the conference in Seattle."

Ethan put the toy on the couch next to Til's favourite blanket and sat down before responding, his voice carrying no sign of hesitation.

"If there's a Father's Day program at her school and she wants me to be there, I'll be there."

Ethan knew all too well why he was so persistent on being there.

He wished he didn’t know, but he did.

Because he knew what it felt like to spend so many of his Mother’s Days programms with his teeth gritted, wishing it could all just end.

He could still remember the first Mother’s Day without Luise, how his teacher walked into the class and told them that they would create nice postcards for their moms and how Ethan’s classmate pointed his finger at him and said: „And what is Ramsey going to do? It’s not fair that he doesn’t need to do anything for the whole hour.“

It was the first time Ethan punched someone.

There was no way, no way, that he would allow his daughter to feel any of those feelings.

His thoughts were interrupted by Chiara, now sitting right next to him, a soft concern visible on her features.

„Alan and Naveen would go with her, you know. She wouldn’t be alone.“

„I am her father.“

„And you are also an author of the study this whole conference is going to be about.“

Ethan knew Chiara was right, just as he knew that she was doing this not because she didn’t want him to attend the programm, rather because she respected and supported his career.

But her arguments were of no use. Ethan’s mind was made up and he only wondered if this is what it felt like, all those years ago, when he pushed Chiara away in order to support her career. The idea of putting career first was making him uncomfortable and all he could do was to think, how did Chiara see it all those years ago?

Or rather, how did he not see it back then?

He had no answers, only his gratitude that she stayed and showed him the world through her eyes.

„Aurora is just as much of an author as me. She can handle the conference without me just fine. You can go with her.“

„Me?“ Chiara asked incredulously.

„Sure. They don’t really care which Dr. Ramsey will come.“

Ethan aged well. More wrinkles circled the corners of his eyes and the grey hair on his temples were not an optical illusion anymore (and Chiara has never found him more handsome than now) and his gaze changed too, the cold blue of his eyes almost forgotten, as his eyes were warm and soft almost all the time he was with his family.

Ethan aged and changed and yet there was a thing that didn’t change in the slightest in these last years. His insufferable stubborness.

And so Chiara knew that he won’t change his mind and that there was no point in trying to and while it warmed her heart to see how in love with Matilda Ethan was, the study was important to him.

Obviously not important enough, however, and Chiara decided not to push him any further. Instead, she asked curiously.

„And what are you going to perform? What if Matilda wants to do something crazy?" Chiara raised an eyebrow.

"Of course she won't want anything crazy. What if it were my father and Naveen taking her?"

Chiara laughed wholeheartedly at his question, because for someone so brilliant, sometimes Ethan was desperately clueless when it came to people around him - and what they were willing to do for their daughter.

"Please, this is Naveen and Alan you are talking about. Matilda could say she wants to sing Hakuna Matata and they would come dressed as Timon and Pumba."

"Ah," Ethan exhaled, obviously only now realizing that Chiara was, indeed, right. And singing - or dancing, for God's sake - was not part of his plan. "Well, she can play some basic compound on the piano, she has learned some already. And I could accompany her on the cello."

Chiara choked on the water she was just drinking, turning to look at Ethan so swiftly, his brows furrowed in a concern for her neck.

"On a what now?"

“A cello. I thought you knew that I used to play the cello as a kid.”

“Of course, but the as a kid part is important. I mean, I played a piano as a kid and now I couldn’t play Twinkle Twinkle Little Star if my life depended on it.”

Ethan laughed, wrapping his arm around Chiara in a half-hug and had to bite his tongue not to tell her that maybe Matilda could teach her, as she already could play Twinkle Twinkle Little Star exceptionally well.

“I might have stopped playing actively when I was ten, but I found a certain sense of serenity in music – and playing – for a long time after that. I-,” Ethan stopped himself, mulling over his next words. It was not like he didn’t want to tell Chiara anything, but talking about his years at med school was not something he did often. “I befriended a music shop’s owner back in Baltimore. He was a nice guy, barely older than me and so very different. He had musical instruments for sale there and as we became closer, he let me borrow the cello and play a little in the back of the shop. It became a thing that helped me clear my head when school became too stressful and it also helped me not to forget how to play. I think Matilda’s level on the piano is very close to what I can remember with the cello.”

Now all he had to do was to find someone who would borrow him the cello.

*** *** ***

Ethan always found it amusing, how his mornings with Matilda differed compared to Matilda’s mornings with Chiara.

He made sure to wake her up earlier than usual, so that they could cook breakfast together and have some time to spare.

Chiara – the person that hated mornings more than eggplants – did all she could to stay in bed for as long as possible. She would rather prepare Matilda’s breakfast in the evening and run to the school than wake up before 6 AM.

And it seemed like Matilda realized this difference quite soon, for all the times Ethan came to wake her up, she knew she could ask him to join her in bed for a few minutes.

"Hey, little Rookie," Ethan whispered, softly stroking Matilda's curls out of her forehead so that he could press a gentle kiss on it. "Time to wake up. We don't want to be late for school."

The little Rookie nickname was first used when Til was perhaps one year old and it made her giggle so hard Ethan kept using it. Chiara found it extremely funny, always pointing out that Matilda was nothing if not Ethan’s exact copy – and she was right. With her big blue eyes and long curly dark hair, there was no doubt that she was Ethan’s daughter. Not that the similarities ended in her physical appearence – she was phenomenally subborn for a five year old (to which Ethan always argued that she could as well inherit that from Chiara) and sarcasm was her second language. She also might have used ‚fuck‘ once or twice and Ethan knew it’s not Chiara she heard that from.

You should call her little Terminator, Chiara always teased and partly, she was right.

But there were many traits and marks of Chiara in their daughter, marks not so visible but unmistakely hers. How Matilda’s smile was always bright and warm and sincere, something only Chiara could pass on. How she came home one day from school and asked Ethan if he could make cupcakes with her, because her classmate loves cupcakes but his parents are too busy to make them for him and so she would love to bring him some to school. How she appreciated the most common of things, like sun shining because it makes her skin warm and also rain falling because she can jump in the puddles. Her genuine curiosity and open heart and just her general need to make people around her feel good.

That was all Chiara’s mark and Ethan loved his two girls so much it sometimes still surprised him. That he was capable of such love.

It also made him want more sometimes. More people to love that much.

„Snuggle time, please?“ Matilda smiled, her eyes still closed and Ethan was prepared, he knew this request would come and so he didn’t even need to check the watch to know that he could lay down next to her, the tiny bed making his position rather awkward.

He snuggled Matilda from behind and between her slow stirs as she began to wake up and his soft kisses put on the back of her head, he whispered how excited he was to attend the Father’s Day program with her.

*** *** ***

Ethan didn’t even need to try hard to persuade Matilda that a piano-cello duet would be better to perform than a dance. She liked the idea from the beginning and after going through her music sheets with Chiara, she happily exclaimed that they could try to learn Hedwig’s Theme together. Her eyes were bright and full of excitement and Ethan knew the decision was already made, because he couldn’t resist that face.

And so they performed and for a girl who was five and her father, who was almost fifty, they did a great job. Seeing Matilda’s pure, unadultered joy and excitement and so much gratitude that her dad could be there with here, was something Ethan would consider one of the best moments of his life forever.

Tillie was almost jumping up and down with the happiness as they watched her classmates and their fathers or grandfathers or mothers in some cases or maybe even uncles perform their numbers. She was clapping hard after every single one and she kept waving at everyone, her smile so wide Ethan thought for a while that she resembled Bryce more than anyone. The thought made him chuckle, because Matilda would love to hear that, as Bryce was her hero and possibly the best person she could spend her sleepovers at.

Ethan could hardly say that he enjoyed being surrounded by so many people, but he sincerely did enjoy spending the day with his kid. He didn’t regret choosing making a fool out of himself in front of bunch of kids instead of the conference. He almost forgot about the conference altogether until Aurora’s call interrupted the bustle full of laughter around them.

She only called him to let him know that all went well and she was off to have a lunch with other diagnosticians that helped with the study.

"Yes, alright. I'll see you on Monday. Good job, Aurora," Ethan put the phone back into his pocket and turned to Matilda.

"I am sorry you missed the conference because of me, dad."

Ethan knelt down so that he could face his daughter, the very same blue eyes he knew from mirrors, looking back at him, wide and curious.

He smiled softly, kissing Matilda's forehead before responding.

"I am not. No conference is that important, and just between the two of us," Ethan lowered his voice and put his best serious face on, causing the mischievous sparks ignite in Tillie's eyes "Conferences are so boring. You saved me from a torture."

She giggled and threw her arms around Ethan's neck, squeezing him as hard as a five years old could.

"Now let's go, I think there's an ice cream that needs to be eaten."

"But daddy you said ice creams are sugar bomb!"

Ethan chuckled at her shocked expression - not sure is it was a genuine one or an act - and took her little hand into his.

"I'll pretend I don't see you eating it."

Matilda squealed and before her ‚no sugar in this house‘ dad could change his mind, she stormed off in the direction of the ice cream truck.

Before she could reach her destination, however, she stopped in her tracks and tugged on Ethan’s sleeve, pointing at the little girl sitting under one of the trees – alone.

„That’s Dorothy! She is my best friend.“

Yes, Ethan remembered Matilda mentioning Dorsey, her best friend, quite often, but he never got a chance to meet her before. The girl was tiny, much smaller than Matilda – which inherited Ethan’s significant height, too – her hair almost white and her eyes similar to Matilda’s, big and blue but not even close to being as bright.

„She doesn’t have a dad,“ Matilda added, her voice much less excited now. „She didn’t want to come here but her mom has to be at work.“

Ethan’s heart tightened at her words, the description of Dorothy’s situation reminding him of his own when he was a kid way too much.

„Why don’t you go and ask her to join us for an ice cream?“ Ethan smiled at Matilda faintly.

Before he could as much as blink, Matilda was gone and in the very next moment, both girls were back, smiling up at him, his own kid widely and Dorothy very shyly.

„Hello, Dorothy,“ Ethan knelt down and smiled at her encouragingly. „I am Ethan. It is my pleasure to meet you, Matilda talks about you a lot.“

„Hello,“ Dorothy muttered, not meeting his eyes and Ethan noticed she was holding Matilda’s hand.

Without any other word, he stood up and led both girls to find an ice cream truck, only half-listening to what they were talking about – enough to recognize that Dorothy was much more open when talking to Matilda, but not enough to register particular words.

Maybe that’s why Matilda’s next question took him off the guard.

„Right, daddy? I was just telling Dorsey that you could be her dad, right? And I would be her sister!“

Ethan’s eyes widened and before he could find the right words – gentle but also firm enough to explain that that’s not exactly how these things work, Matilda spoke again.

„She could come over anytime and we could have sleepovers like the ones I have with uncle Bryce or grandpa and we would play together and I could borrow her my toys, right?“

Ethan nodded and smiled, of course Dorothy is always welcome to stay at our place, and let the topic go, because there was nothing wrong about his daughter having best friend that would come over.

Thirty minutes later, all three of them sat at the grass and ate their ice creams and it was easy to forget the previous converstaions.

*** *** ***

Until he came into his office, a week after the Father’s Day and found Chiara waiting for him, her arms crossed at her chest and her expression unusually stoic.

Before he could ask what was wrong, Chiara spoke.

„Matilda’s teacher just called.“

„What?“ Ethan stepped closer, automatically reaching into his pocket to make sure his phone, wallet and car keys are there and he is ready to leave and pick up Matilda at any moment. „Is something wrong? Is she in trouble? Sick?“

„She is absolutely alright,“ Chiara shook her head sligthly, her face unreadable – something that scared Ethan more than her visible anger. „She just called me to let me know about the rumors going around Matilda’s class these past few days. She thought it would be better if I found out from her rather than from other parents.“

„Rumors?“ Ethan asked, utterly lost and confused.

It took all the willpower Chiara had not to let her facade slip and keep her expression neutral. But teasing Ethan was one of her main hobbies, even after ten years, and so she tried her best.

„Apparently, Matilda and Dorothy Wilkins told everyone that they are in fact sisters. They have different mommies but the same dad – no other than the famous Dr. Ramsey,“ now, it was really hard not to laugh. Ethan’s whole face paled and the confusion was quickly replaced by recognition. „The other kids shared the news with their parents and now those parents talk.“

Ethan didn’t know that Matilda told Chiara about her idea of Ethan becoming Dorothy’s dad the very same evening she shared it with Ethan himself and even though Chiara tried to explain why that idea is not going to work the way the wished it would, Matilda was stubborn. Meaning, Matilda adopted Dorothy as her sister anyway and didn’t mind sharing her dad with her.

„Fuck,“ Ethan whispered, pacing around the office, not really looking up at Chiara.

If he did, he would catch her grinning.

She cleared her throat quickly and added: „Some of the parents came to tell the poor teacher that they appreciate how civil the mothers of Matilda and Dorothy are about the whole thing and that it must’ve taken much strength of our spirits to put out kids into same school.“

She couldn’t anymore. The first chuckle escaped her and when Ethan’s eyes met hers, the mischievous sparks were dancing on full display in her irises, her smile wide and so amused.

Ethan exhaled a sigh full of relief and rolled his eyes and when he looked at Chiara again, she was laughing softly, badly trying to cover her laugh with the hand over her mouth.

The bizarreness of the whole situation and his wife’s reaction made Ethan laugh too and he slumped down on the couch, pulling Chiara with him.

„We should give some kind of explanation, right?“ he whispered when they both calmed down.

„Oh, I don’t know. I am the civil one,“ Chiara smirked smugly. „And with a strong spirit!“

Ethan laughed again at that, thinking about how any kind of rumors about him and Chiara startled him in the beginning of their relationship and how over the years, Chiara managed to teach him to just let people talk.

„She really wants that sibling, huh?“ Chiara broke the silence, poking his side softly.

„Yes, she does,“ Ethan nodded.

„And you would...want that too, right?“ Chiara asked again, this time much more seriousness in her voice.

Both Chiara and Ethan were decided to adopt a child back in the days they believed they would never have their own. After Matilda was born, they didn’t really talk about it anymore – they felt too blessed, too lucky that they’ve gotten her and they were happy.

But the thoughts of adoption never truly left their heads and Chiara knew that especially Ethan considered the option often. She could see him talking to Matilda when she asked for a sister or a brother for her birthday, she saw the dreamy smile as they spoke about little kids.

And it was not like she was against the idea of adopting a child – quite the opposite. She grew up with two siblings and her brother and sister were one of the best parts of her childhood. She wished she could give Matilda the same feeling, the same love she recieved at her age. She just felt like she would be asking for too much, like it would be selfish to want another little human that would make them happy, when they already had one.

Those thoughts were not rational, but they were there and they slowed her decisions down.

„Yes, I would,“ Ethan nodded after a long while, looking straight into Chiara’s eyes.

He would never push her. But he wouldn’t lie either.

Chiara nodded and leaned in to press a soft kiss on Ethan’s mouth, pouring her emotions into it, her excitement with the idea just as strong as her anxiety.

Deep down, she knew that the decision has just been made. That no matter how openly they talked about it or expressed themselves, all three Ramseys wished to share their love and happiness with another soul.

[winterscaptain]

an unrivaled force of nature.

Aaron Hotchner x Gender Neutral Reader

a/n: thank you all for taking this ride with me. we’re almost finished, so tell me what you think, how you felt, how you are. i couldn’t do this without you.

an ajf fic arc that happily stands on its own! (the pieces stand alright on their own as well, for the most part!) one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine | ten | eleven

words: 3.3k warnings: language, sad

summary: “give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak knits up the o’er wrought heart and bids it break.” - william shakespeare, macbeth. a eulogy, an offer, a return. 

masterlist | a joyful future masterlist | requests closed!

You brush some wayward snow off of Anderson’s coat as he puts his pallbearer gloves on, and one corner of his mouth tips up. “Thanks.”

“Mhmm.” 

You have to do something. Staying still and letting your restlessness eat at you right now is not an option. 

Will tacitly asks for your help with the little buttons on his pair of gloves, and you secure and smooth them over his wrists. When you’re done, he presses a kiss to your temple before taking his place on the curb. 

Derek is crisp and stone-faced, his gloves perfect as he prepares for Haley’s arrival. You cross to him, placing a hand on his shoulder and kissing his cheek. His eyes shut for a second, but otherwise, he doesn’t move. 

There’s a tug on the hem of your coat, and you find Jack standing before you. You kneel to his level and needlessly fuss with his collar. 

“Are you coming with us?”

You nod. “Yes, my love. I’ll be right there with you and Aunt Jess and Dad.”

He nods and grabs your hand. You keep his fingers tucked into your palm as you stand back up. Aaron’s a little ways off, speaking with the Father before the hearse arrives. You lead Jack to his side, and he absent-mindedly puts a hand on his son’s head. 

When you move to give them a little space, Jack holds you fast, so you settle for stepping just off Aaron’s shoulder. Jessica approaches you then, and you hug her with your free arm. 

“Thank you for being here,” she whispers. “I know it’s -” Her breath catches. “I know it’s hard.” 

You shake your head where it rests on her shoulder. “Anything for you, anything for her.” 

She leans back, and you catch Aaron’s final words as the hearse arrives. 

“...Thank you, Father. I appreciate it.” 

+++

You walk a little in front of Emily, behind Jessica and Aaron. Jack let you go and is walking steadily beside his father. You have no idea where Aaron’s head is, but all you can do is be there, on his six, just like you always are. 

The pallbearers set Haley into her place with a reverence that makes you dizzy. Or, maybe that was just the tears already pushing at your eyes or the fact that you couldn’t stomach breakfast. 

The Father starts to speak. Jack looks up at you where you stand behind Jessica, and reaches for you. Jess makes some space, and you settle in beside her. Your hand falls to Jack’s shoulder, and Jess tucks her hand into the crook of your arm. 

Sooner than you thought possible, Aaron leaves Jess’s other side and pulls his notes from his coat pocket. His hands shake. 

“W.S. Gilbert wrote, ‘It's love that makes the world go round.’ And if that's true, then the world spun a little faster with Haley in it.”

How does he always know what to say?

“...Haley was my best friend since we were in high school.”

You’ve thought about it before, and you know you’d think about it again, but the loss of a twenty-five-year friendship makes your heart ache. There’s part of you that wishes you could check out, let your mind drift as you stand in the December chill. 

But you can’t. You have to feel this. You need it. 

You can’t leave Aaron, Jess, Jack alone in this. 

“We certainly had our struggles, but if there's one thing we agreed on unconditionally, it was our love and commitment to our son Jack. Haley's love for Jack was joyous and fierce. That fierceness is why she isn't here today.” He takes a breath. “A mother's love is an unrivaled force of nature.”

He looks around and you meet his eyes. Your sole focus is your breath. He can see it in the cold air, and does his best to match it. It’s your eyes and the eyes of his son keeping him upright today. You nod, and he turns back to his notes. 

The whole exchange takes less than a second. 

“And we can all learn much from the way Haley lived her life.”

So so much. 

“Haley's death causes each of us to stop and take stock of our lives. To measure who we are and what we've become. I don't have all those answers for myself, but I know who Haley was. She was the woman who died protecting the child we brought into this world together. And I will make sure that Jack grows up knowing who his mother was and how she loved and protected him,” he swallows thickly, “and how much I loved her.”

Aaron loves like you’ve never seen before. He’s reserved, quiet about it, but somehow it’s also the most obvious thing about him. 

His love is deep and intense and all-consuming. 

You see it in the way he watches his son. 

You see it in the way he deftly guides victims to safety, making them feel safe on the worst day of their lives. 

You see it in the way he takes care of all of you on long days and longer cases, the way he tells you all to get some sleep. 

In short, you’ve never once doubted his love for Haley. 

You choke back a sob, and you can hear Jess do the same beside you. 

He collects himself again. “If Haley were with us today, she would ask us not to mourn her death but to celebrate her life. She would tell us -” His voice breaks along with your heart and he takes another breath. 

You can feel Dave shift beside you and you’re not sure what he’s going to do, but you reach for his sleeve, letting go of Jack for just a second. “Let him,” you whisper. He looks at you, nothing but concern in his eyes. You nod. “Let him.” 

Dave nods, and you return your hand to Jack’s shoulder. 

“She would tell us to love our families unconditionally.” Another crack in his voice, another in your heart. Your tears flow even faster now, your hand shaking where it rests on Jack. “And to hold them close, because in the end, they are all that matter.” 

You take stock of your own family. Derek stares straight ahead on the other side of Haley’s casket, but his eyes are misty. JJ is practically a puddle, her lashes wet and blue eyes oddly beautiful - the color brightened by her tears. Emily’s beside her, as is Will with Henry in his arms. 

Dave, Spencer, Penelope - all in shambles. 

Jessica.

Jack.

Aaron.

Haley. 

She’s your family too. You’ll love her for the rest of your life. You’ll love her son. You’ll love her Aaron. You’ll not only love them for yourself, for them, but for her. 

Aaron’s right. Family is all that matters. 

“I met Haley at the tryouts of our high school's production of The Pirates of Penzance. I found our copy of the play and was looking through it the other night, and I came upon a passage that seemed appropriate for this moment.” He settles himself again with another deep breath. You're proud of him - for breathing, for speaking, for being brave.

You knew there was no way to prepare, but it’s harder than you thought - standing here, listening to Aaron attempt to summarize all that Haley was, is, to him. 

Even harder still? Knowing that the last time you spoke to her, embraced her, laughed with her is already behind you. 

You look down and your tears fall into the grass. The story of how Haley and Aaron met is one of your favorites. Once, Haley snuck you into the garage and showed you the photos, making you swear that the knowledge will go to your grave. 

For you, Haley? Anything. I never need to breathe a word of seventeen-year-old Aaron in tights and a ridiculous hat. 

"Oh, dry the glistening tear that dews that martial cheek…”

That’ll be just for us. 

“...for, oh, they cannot bear to see their father weep."

+++

“No, not today.” You look across the table at JJ, who stands as her phone rings. “They can’t call us in.” 

“I’ll take care of it.” 

The next minute or two is tense while you wait for JJ to finish the call. She returns, and you know just by the look on her face you’re not going to like what she has to say. 

So, you preempt her. “Tell Strauss they need to send another team.” 

She shakes her head. “No other teams available.” 

“I’ll get Rossi,” Derek says with a sigh. There’s nothing you can do. He walks out onto the patio and exchanges a few words with Dave and Aaron. 

After a minute, Derek and Dave leave Aaron out on the patio. He turns, looking at all of you through the window for a moment before turning his back, resting his elbows against the stone balustrade. 

You gather your things, following Emily out into the main foyer, but you lose your breath along the way, your shoulders sinking and your eyes dropping to the floor. Will places a soft hand in the middle of your back. 

“You alrigh’?”

You shake your head, pulling a sharp inhale in an effort to keep your tears at bay, and he catches JJ’s wrist. She looks back for just a moment before reaching forward for Derek, tugging a little on his sleeve. 

Your acting unit chief turns around, a softness in his dark eyes. The rest of the team is staring at you. An overwhelming feeling of weakness, almost humiliation, falls over you. 

Why can they leave him and I can’t?

Derek heaves a sigh and says, “Five minutes,” gesturing with the tiniest dip of his chin. The rest of the team follows him out like a pack of well-trained ducklings. JJ’s hand runs down your arm as she passes, and Will presses a kiss to the side of your head. 

Sometimes, you think, Will is a better man than any of you deserve. 

You send him a silent thanks and turn on your heel, almost jogging out into the cool night air. It’s more than kind of Derek to release you for even a moment - he doesn’t have to, but you know the role is wearing on him. 

The more time you get with Hotch, he figures, the faster he can come back to work. 

Aaron hasn’t moved by the time you reach him. You breeze to his side, only slightly out of breath. His scotch sits untouched in front of him, but you can’t fault him for that. Today is not the kind of day that can be blunted by alcohol. 

You’re quiet for what feels like a long time, just sharing space with one another. 

“You should go,” he says. “The team needs you.” 

“I -” You cut yourself off, afraid of sharing too much. There’s so much you could say, so much you need to say. Both to him and to Haley. 

You miss her. Even when she was in WITSEC, there was the hope that one day she would be home, ready to greet you with a wide, crooked smile and, if you were lucky, a laugh. 

That hope is gone and with it, parts of your life you never thought you’d lose. 

Fuck it. Nothing you can say will be wrong. 

“I wanted to be with you for another minute before we left.” 

Aaron’s quiet, but his shoulders drop just the smallest amount. “Thank you.” 

You tip your head to the side, letting it rest on the edge of his shoulder. I wish we didn’t have to leave you. 

I know, his sigh says. It’s okay. 

Tears spring into your eyes again without prompting. It seems your heart has been breaking since Hotch’s voice first wavered in his eulogy. The grief radiating off him in waves only amplifies your own. 

There’s a thickness in his voice as he speaks again. “She really liked you, you know. She -” He clears his throat, a useless endeavor. “She loved you.”  

A little smile pulls at your lips and tears leave your eyes - just two - without your permission. “I know.” Quietly, you add, “I love her, too.” The past tense is too painful, so you keep her with you in the present. 

“She trusts you with Jack. Always has.” He huffs a humorless laugh. “Can’t even say that for myself.” 

There’s nothing you can say to that, but you shake your head. An inaudible, “Yes you can,” leaves you. You know he hears it - the little smile that pulls at the corner of his mouth tells you as much. 

Belatedly, you realize it’s probably been more than five minutes, but you can’t bring yourself to care. 

“Can I ask you for something?” 

You lean back, looking him in the eye. “Anything.” 

“Can you -” He stops, his lip quivering and tears pushing at his eyes. He swallows, his jaw tight, as he collects himself enough to speak without losing it. “Can you help me keep my promise?”

Your brow tugs in the middle. “Which one?”

“All of them,” he says. “I want Jack to know -” He can’t finish, but you watch him. He knows you understand. “I also promised to spend the rest of my life making up for…” He gestures vaguely. “...this.” 

You reach toward him, pressing a fervent kiss to his cheek before hooking your chin over his shoulder. You cling desperately to his coat, knowing if you hurt him, he’ll tell you. 

 He returns your embrace, locking his arms around your back. A whisper leaves you. “Of course.” Now that you’re pressed against him, you’re not sure if you’re shaking or he is, but you only hold him tighter to stem it. 

There are no other words exchanged between you as you pull away and meet his eyes. You needlessly smooth his collar. 

When you make your way to the door, you turn over your shoulder once more. He’s watching you. “See you when we get home.” 

He nods. Be safe. 

You offer him the smallest of smiles. Always. 

+++

It’s the middle of the night when your phone rings. You answer it before looking, your last name rough as it leaves your mouth. 

“It’s Hotch.” His voice is just more than a whisper, but of course, you’d know it anywhere. 

You sit up straight in bed, rubbing your eyes. “Are you okay? What’s wrong? Is Jack alright?”

There’s a sigh. “Nothing. I’m...fine. Jack’s asleep here with me, but I just…” He pauses. “I just needed to know you’re okay.” 

The tension leaves you as relief floods your system. “Yeah. I’m okay. We’re sleeping in shifts. I’m back on in,” you check the clock on the bedside table, “four hours.” 

“Ah,” he says. “I’ll let you sleep then.” 

You know he’s about to hang up, but you stop him. “Hotch, wait.” 

There’s silence on the other end of the phone, so you can only hope he’s listening. 

“If you want to stay on for a little while, I can’t promise I’ll stay up, but you don’t have to hang up.” 

A heavy exhale sounds in your ear. “Really?”

“Yeah.” You tuck yourself back into bed. “I can talk about nothing, if you want. I’m no Spencer, but I’ve picked up a few of his tricks.” 

“Alright,” he says with a quiet laugh. “I don't want to keep you up, but -” 

“Oh, please. Let someone take care of you for once, would you?”

There’s a huff followed by silence, so you take your cue. You tell him all about the drive out to the crime scene today - it was a gorgeous, winding road through the Tennessee mountains. There was plenty of snow and the air was crisp and cold. 

You skip over the case details, just describing the landscape as best you can. Your yawns come faster than your words after a while, and you figure it’s time to check in. 

“Hotch?”

There’s a little shuffle on the other end of the line, and a little hum. That’s good enough for you. 

“Goodnight, Aaron.”

Another hum. “Night, sweetheart,” he slurs. 

You know he’s barely conscious, but that doesn’t deter the adrenaline rush. You manage a, “Sleep well. I’ll text you in the morning,” before hanging up. You stare at the dark screen of your phone for a moment. The dark is the only thing there to hear your whisper. It listens. 

“I love you.”

+++

There’s another call in the late afternoon. You step out to take it. Derek hardly takes a second glance at you as he and the rest of the team continue working. 

“Aaron?”

“Hey,” he says. “Strauss just left.” 

Your brow crinkles. “What?”

“We did have a meeting scheduled, but she came to the house so I wouldn’t have to take Jack to the office or leave him here.” 

“That was...generous.” It was hard to find the word, but you got there eventually. 

He sighs. “Yeah, I thought so too.” 

“So, what’s up?” 

I know you’re not calling me without reason so just spit it out. 

“She offered me retirement. Full pension, full benefits.” 

Your heart drops and you try to hide the anxiety in your voice. You’re not sure it works. (From his end of the phone, it doesn’t.) “Are you going to take it?”

“That’s the thing -” 

You check the team on the other side of the window. Derek taps his watch, and you nod.

“- Jess offered to take Jack whenever I’m away. She wants to.” 

You’re speechless. You can’t say you’re surprised, knowing Jess as you do, but it's so big. She’s basically becoming a mother overnight. “Wow.” 

“Yeah.” 

“Aaron, I’m so sorry -”

“- Get back to the case. I just wanted to tell you because...I don’t know. I’m gonna sleep on it and then figure it out in the morning.” 

“That sounds like a good idea.” You check the time. “Kiss Jack goodnight for me, will you?”

“Of course. Good luck.” 

“Thanks.” You hang up, neither one of you stuck on pretenses of politeness anymore. You slip back into the room with an apologetic glance at Derek. 

Spencer looks back at you. Hotch? 

You wave him off. Later. 

+++

You're antsy to get off the plane, your knee bouncing, and your lip between your teeth. With Derek’s permission, you fly out of the office like a bat out of hell in the afternoon light, trying to make it before the sun sets. 

You know exactly where to find him. 

Parking the car, you step out and button your coat against the chill. He’s visible from here, on the bench, with his elbows resting on his knees and his head bowed. 

You don’t know this, but of course, he knows you’re coming. He’s not surprised when you sit beside him. He offers you a hand and you take it. 

“Have you told her, yet?”

There’s an almost-smile on his face, closer to something you recognize than anything the week prior. “Told her what?”

“That you’re coming back to us. That this team, this work, is who you are?”

His eyes are trained on the temporary marker as he replies. “You know I don’t have to tell her. She already knows.”

You look at him for a second, studying his profile. “I’m proud of you.” 

He looks at you, almost doubtful. 

With the smallest of smiles, you add, “She’s proud of you, too.” At another questioning glance: “She told me as much, last spring. She’s so proud of you, Aaron.” 

He nods with a deliberate slowness and turns his gaze back to Haley. He squeezes your hand. 

You squeeze back. 

+++

tagging: @arganfics @quillvine @stxrryspencer @agenthotchner @hurricanejjareau @ughitsbaby @rousethemouse @criminalsmarts @shrimpyblog @genevievedarcygranger @ssaic-jareau @good-heavens-chris-evans @davidrossi-ismydad @angelsbabey @writefasttalkevenfaster @venusbarnes @hotchsflower @ogmilkis @marvels-agents100 @hotchslatte @risenfox @mrs-dr-reid @captain-christopher-pike @dwellingsofrosie @pan-pride-12 @sunshine-em @word-scribbless @jdougl-love @sageellsworth05 @dreila03 @forgottenword @aaronhotchnerr @ssa-morgan @buckybau @sana-li @tegggeeee @abschaffer2 @ssacandice-ray @ellyhotchner @lotties-journey-abroad @mrs-joel-pimentel-23-25 @laneygthememequeen @violentvulgarvolatile  @mooneylupinblack @ssareidbby @violet-amxthyst @bwbatta @roses-and-grasses @lcvischmitt @capricorngf @missdowntonabbey @averyhotchner @mandylove1000 @cevanswhre @qvid-pro-qvo @jeor @spencers-hoodrat @infinity1321 @zizzlekwum @popped-weasels @evee87 @nuvoleincielo @this-broken-band-girl @reidtomestyles @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @winqhster @spencerelds @the-falling-in-the-danger @nattylite49 @crazyshannonigans @softbibxtch @iconicc

[tails89]

Unbreakable

Pairing: Evan Buckley x Eddie Diaz Rating: T Warnings: None Words: 2.7k

Read on AO3

All it takes is one split second.

Buck had been right there beside him, talking into his radio, confirming they were on their way out.

And then he was gone.

The floor had caved in beneath them with a thunderous crack and somehow—Eddie still can’t fathom how— somehow, Buck had managed to shove Eddie to the side before disappearing in a shower of smoke and smouldering wood.

“Buck!” He screams, kneeling on the edge of the hole and peering over. He can see the yellow stripe on the back of Buck’s coat, unmoving beneath the debris. “Captain Nash, this is Eddie.” He fumbles with the radio. “Buck is down. He went through the floor, I can’t— he’s not moving.”

He doesn’t wait for the reply. Eddie scrambles to his feet heading back towards the staircase that will take him to the ground floor.

“Chim is on his way to you.” The radio crackles to life. “Can you get down to Buck and give us a report on his condition?”

“Yeah, copy that.” Eddie takes the stairs, two at a time. “I’ve almost got him.” He skids to a halt, dropping to his knees beside Buck. As far as he can tell, the turnout gear has protected him from serious burns, but the fact that Buck’s unconscious is a serious concern.

It’s probably only been a minute or two, time moves at a strange pace when you’re trying not to panic, but any blow hard enough to knock someone out is dangerous.

“Buck?” Eddie knocks away bits of debris. “Can you hear me? Open your eyes, cariño.” He rubs his closed fist against Buck’s chest, breathing a sigh or relief when it prompts a groan from the younger firefighter. “Hey, there you are. Just stay still for me.” His heart is still pounding as he clears a space around Buck, afraid to move him before Chim arrives but also mindful of the burning building around them.

“Eddie?”

“I’m right here.” He leans into Buck’s field of vision. “I’m going to get you out of here, okay?”

Buck blinks up at him, his eyes fluttering shut for a second before he drags them back open.

“Don’t even think about it,” Eddie warns, glancing up as another figure arrives. “Eyes open Buck, or I’ll tell Chim what you said about him this morning.”

“What’s this?” Chim asks, kneeling opposite Eddie. “Buck’s talking shit about me again?”

“Nothing that wasn’t true,” Buck mumbles.

“If you say so, Buckaroo.” Chim moves quickly, assessing Buck’s ability to move before nodding to Eddie.

“Alright, time to get out of here,” Eddie says. “Let us do all the work okay?”

“You’re good at that, right Buck?” Chim pipes up, earning a pained smile from their patient. They each hook an arm across their shoulders and heft Buck upright. He groans, eyes squeezing shut from the movement.

Eddie and Chimney carry him out into the fresh air, carefully lying him down away from the fire, then get to work.

Hen joins them as they strip him of his jacket and start a more thorough assessment of his injuries. Eddie kneels by his head, keeping up a steady stream of reassuring chatter as Hen and Chim poke and prod and jostle.

Buck doesn’t say anything, just gives short jerking nods when he’s asked a question, eyes scrunched up in pain and discomfort.

Eddie reaches down to grab Buck’s hand; the one Hen hasn’t just inserted an IV into and gives it a squeeze. The fingers in his grip tighten in response.

“Ready to transport, cap,” Hen calls out when she’s done. The three of them get Buck on the backboard and transfer him to the stretcher.

“Bobby?” Eddie glances over at his captain, still clutching Buck’s hand.

“Go,” Bobby tells him. “Keep us updated.”

With a nod, Eddie follows Chimney up into the back of the ambulance.

The ride to the hospital is tense, even with Chimney cracking jokes to lighten the mood.

Buck is in and out, drowsy with a probable concussion and who knows what else. Eddie can feel the panic clawing at his throat, but he manages to keep it together, never once letting go of Buck’s hand until they reach the hospital. He focuses on the point of contact, using the warmth of Buck’s skin to keep grounded and remind himself that Buck will be okay.

It feels like it takes no time at all to reach the hospital. Hen does the handover while Chim and Eddie help transfer Buck from the stretcher to a bed.

“Let us know what happens,” Chim says, giving Eddie a clap on the shoulder, and promising to be back after their shift.

The hospital staff try to send Eddie away too, but Buck has come around enough that he is not having that.

“I’m his partner,” Eddie explains, laying a calming hand on Buck’s shoulder. One of the nurses has cut away his pants to inspect the burns on his leg and another is tearing through his shirt. “Please, I won’t get in the way.”

Buck is pretty out of it once they give him some pain relief. He gets wheeled away for imaging tests and Eddie takes the opportunity duck outside to text Bobby an update and call Carla to ask if she can take Chris to stay with his aunt.

Chris, of course, immediately wants to come and stay with Eddie at the hospital.

“It’ll be boring, kiddo,” Eddie tells him. “Just lots of waiting around and Buck will probably be asleep.”

“But what about when he wakes up?” Chris asks. “He shouldn’t wake up alone, dad.” And Eddie just can’t with this kid. He wonders, not for the first time, how he managed to raise someone with such a big heart.

“He won’t be alone,” Eddie promises. “I’ll be here, and maybe tía Pepa can bring you over in the morning. I know Buck will want to see you when he wakes up, but tonight he needs his rest.”

“Okay, dad.”

Eddie doesn’t need to see his son to know how hard he’s pouting at the phone right now.

“Tell Buck I love him.”

“I will. You be good for Pepa. Love you.”

“Love you too, dad.”

Eddie disconnects the call with a sigh then goes to check his messages. There’s a text message from Chimney saying he’d called Maddie.

“Shit.” Eddie quickly scrolls to her number. He’d completely forgotten in all the chaos—Maddie should have been the first person he’d called.

“Eddie?”

“Maddie, I’m so sorry—”

“Don’t worry about it, Chim called me and let me know what happened. How is my little brother?”

“He’s going to be okay.” Eddie rattles off some of the words that had been thrown around in the emergency room. “Concussion, second degree burns on his legs, maybe cracked ribs?” He takes a deep breath. “They’re doing some more testing to determine the severity of the concussion, but they didn’t seem overly concerned.”

“That’s good news at least,” Maddie says. “Evan just can’t do things by halves can he?”

Eddie huffs out a soft laugh. “Half-assing it just isn’t in his vocabulary.” The ball of anxiety that’s been sitting in his chest for the better part of an hour finally starts to unwind.

“I’ll be there soon,” Maddie says. “And Chim said he was going to head over. Have you eaten yet? I’ll bring you something.”

“You don’t need to do that,” Eddie assures her.

“I know, but you must be starving. Chim definitely will be.”

“Thanks Maddie.”

“I’ll see you soon, okay?”

“Yeah.” The call ends with a beep and Eddie shoves his phone back into his pocket. He’s still wearing his turnouts, he realises belatedly. His coat is draped over the chair behind him, his helmet balances on a knee.

“Mr Diaz?” One of the nurses beckons him over. “We’re admitting Evan,” she tells him. “If you’d like to come with me, I’ll take you up to his room.”

“He’s okay?” Eddie follows her down the corridor towards the elevator.

“Nothing nasty turned up in the MRI,” she explains. “His helmet protected him from any skull fractures, but he still got his brains rattled about pretty good.”

The elevator doors open with a ding, and they step inside.

“He’s got a couple of cracked ribs and the burns on his legs will need to be monitored to ensure they don’t get infected.”

“How long before he can come home?” Eddie asks.

“His doctor wants to keep him overnight to monitor the concussion, but all going well, he’ll likely be released tomorrow, maybe the day after at the latest.”

When the lift stops, she leads him out to a room on the ward. Eddie pushes the door open to step inside.

“Buck?”

The lights are low, but it’s still easy to make him out on the bed. Eddie drags a chair over, taking a seat at Buck’s side.

“How are you feeling?”

“Like I fell through a floor and had the whole house land on me,” Buck croaks, looking a lot more alert than the last time Eddie had seen him. He’s still pale and drawn, but it’s good to hear his voice.

“Well—”

“Don’t say it,” Buck groans. He swallows, his face paling even more, something Eddie wouldn’t have thought possible. His birthmark stands out in stark relief against his skin.

“What’s wrong?” Eddie asks, reaching for Buck’s hand. He rubs circles into the skin of Buck’s wrist.

“Nausea.”

“I can help with that.” The nurse who’d shown Eddie up to the room is still hovering nearby. “I’ll go have a chat with the doctor and be back in a minute.” She hands Buck an emesis basin before she leaves, just in case.

Alone in the room, Eddie reaches with his free hand to run his fingers through Buck’s hair. He’s careful not to use too much pressure and aggravate anything but Buck seems to appreciate it, sinking down further into his pillow.

“How are you really feeling?” Eddie asks, his thumb trailing across Buck’s temple.

“Like shit,” Buck mumbles. “Nothing… hurts? But I know it’s going to later.” He shuts his eyes, swallowing convulsively to keep from being sick, clutching the basin in his free hand.

Fortunately, the nurse returns before he has to use it. She gives him something and leaves them alone again.

“You should get back to Chris.” Nausea dealt with, Buck is loose-limbed and sleepy, blinking up at Eddie.

“Chris is fine,” Eddie assures him. “He’s spending the night with Pepa. He wants to come by and see you tomorrow if you’re feeling up to it.”

“Mm, I’d like that.” Buck’s eyes drift shut and his breathing evens out into sleep.

Eddie watches him for a moment, still running his fingers through Buck’s hair, until he’s sure he’s truly out. He pulls out his phone to see that Maddie, Chim, Bobby and Hen have all arrived.

He stands, pressing a kiss to Buck’s forehead and goes downstairs to meet his family.

~

Maddie is the one who convinces Eddie to go home.

He’s grimy with sweat and soot from the fire they had been attending and she gives him her best big sister stare and tells him under no uncertain terms that he stinks.

“And I mean that in a loving way,” she says, handing over a box of Chinese takeout.

He sits outside with Chim and Hen to eat, while Maddie and Bobby head upstairs to check on Buck for themselves.

“How’s our boy doing?” Hen asks.

“He’ll be fine,” Eddie says. “He’ll be sore and grumpy when I take him hope, but you know Buck.”

“Yeah, I don’t envy you there,” Chim says. “Buck is the worst patient, so have fun with that.”

After they eat Bobby gives him a ride back to the station to collect his car.

“I’ve called Marcus in to cover your shift tomorrow,” Bobby says as Eddie is climbing out of the car. “If you still need time after your days off, let me know.”

“Thanks Bobby.”

“Don’t mention it, you just take care of Buck for us. And take care of yourself too.” Bobby drives off and Eddie walks to his car before he starts getting too many questions from B shift. Buck is a well-liked member of the 118 and everyone wants to send Eddie off with well-wishes to pass on.

It’s late by the time Eddie finally gets home.

With Chris off at Pepa’s and Buck at the hospital, the house is dark and quiet. Too quiet, in Eddie’s opinion.

He turns the TV just to give himself some background noise while he showers and changes for bed.

It takes a long time to fall asleep.

~

Eddie picks Chris up in the morning on his way back to the hospital.

Chris has a thousand questions about what happened, and will Buck be okay, and when can they bring him home.

It strikes Eddie that he’d said the same thing the night before. He’d asked the nurse when he could bring Buck home.

For all the time they spent together and as much as Buck was a part of the family with Eddie and Chris, he did still technically have his own apartment. Not that he used it that much. Eddie had been able to pack a bag using the clothes Buck had stuffed into a drawer in Eddie’s room. There was a toothbrush on the sink for when Buck stayed the night.

Maybe it was time for Eddie to finally ask Buck to move in.

The thought keeps him distracted the whole way to the hospital. He’s still mulling it over as he helps Chris down from the back seat and leads the way up to Buck’s room.

“He’s asleep, dad.” Chris is disappointed when they open the door and Buck is still fast asleep.

He’s got a bit of colour in his cheeks this morning. He doesn’t look quite so pale against the starched white hospital sheets.

“You sleep a lot too when you’re not feeling well,” Eddie reminds his son, pulling up a second chair and moving Chris’s crutches to a spot where they’re not going to trip anyone up. “Have you got your game with you?”

Nodding, Chris pulls his Switch from his backpack, content to play his game while they wait for Buck to wake.

It doesn’t take long. The thing with hospitals is that they’re never really quiet and Buck jerks awake when something is dropped just outside his room.

“Hey, you.” Eddie leans forward in his chair and waits for Buck to get his bearings. “How are you feeling?”

“Ugh, I feel like shi—” he notices Chris on the other side of the bed, “-t.” He grimaces. “Sorry, brain could thing of anything fast enough.”

“I think we’ll let it slide this time,” Eddie says, grinning.

“Dad says sometimes bad words are okay.” Chris puts away his game and stands, shifting his weight so he can lean against the bed for balance. “I’m glad you’re okay Buck, I missed you last night.”

“I missed you too bud,” Buck says, reaching out to ruffle Chris’s curls. “Just seeing you makes me feel better already.”

Chris beams at the words and Eddie feels his heart swell.

“So,” Buck shifts on the bed, his face tightens as he jars something, probably his ribs, but he doesn’t mention it. “Any idea when I can get out of here?”

“I was talking to a nurse last night who said you’ll probably be released today,” Eddie tells him. “But we’ll have to wait until the doctor gives you the okay.”

“Hospitals are the worst,” Buck groans, his head tipping back against the pillows. “Right Chris?” Chris nods and Buck pats the bed. “Why don’t you show me the game you were playing while we wait.”

~

Buck is discharged late that afternoon.

He makes a fuss about using the wheelchair, but when he tries to stand all the blood drains from his face and he has to sit back down real fast.

“Ready to try the wheelchair now?” Eddie asks him, keeping a gentle hand on Buck’s shoulder in case he tries to faceplant again.

“Yeah.” The word comes out in one long breath. “Sorry, I didn’t think it would hurt that much.”

“When we get home, I’ll make up the couch for you,” Eddie says, “and you’re staying there for the rest of the week.”

“Home?” Buck glances up sharply.

“My home,” Eddie clarifies, then after a moment’s hesitation says, “Our home.”

“I like the sound of that,” Buck says, a slow smile spreading across his face. “Okay Eds, take me home.”

[leo-gold-hotchner]

Happy Birthday to You

It’s late, it should’ve been up on 2nd Nov, but I couldn’t. Urg. I wanted to be fluffy, but not sure if I succeeded it. 

Just a side talk, if anyone reading this having a hard time because of who they are, always remember there’re people supporting you! That includes me! Don’t let others judge you, you’re a lovely person, remember that.

Criminal Minds

Aaron Hotchner X Male Reader

Words: 2.8k

I Kissed a boy AU!

You felt like a jellyfish. A powerless jellyfish wondering in the ocean waves, wherever your destination is, it depends on the wave. You didn’t even have strength to lift your finger when you returned this morning from your shift. 

Halloween night was fun, you could spend your time together with Aaron and Jack two nights ago. And yesterday, they left, and you readied for your night shift and it finished just now. 

You weren’t sure if it was because a day after Halloween, but it sure had many 911 calls. You didn’t shower or changed your clothes, you just stared at the high ceiling of your house. 

                                                        -Hotch-

In distant, you heard your phone ringing. You must have fallen asleep. You just wanted to sleep, not to be bothered, but what if it was from your work? What if it was Aaron? 

“Gods,” you groaned and pushed yourself heavily from sofa. What time was it? “Hello?” You answered the call without checking who called you. 

“Oh, is this Mr. F/N L/N?” It was a woman’s voice, her voice so vibrant and even you being tired managed to smile. Though, you wondered if this was a scam call. “I’m Penelope Garcia and I work with the FBI.” 

FBI. Okay, FBI. Ef… Huh? 

“Ef, FBI, you say?” You stuttered out at the mention of FBI. Wasn’t that the bureau that investigates criminal staff? Why were they calling you? Did one of last night patients has something to do with crimes? 

“Yep, and I work with Aaron Hotchner!” Not knowing your worry, the woman cheerfully mentioned your boyfriend’s name. 

“Aaron? You work with Aaron?” You felt stupid to keep asking her, but you had to be sure. And you were still groggy from sleep. 

“Yes, so I thought you could help us with a surprise party to him.” 

“Why surprise party?” You stood where you were with a dumbfounded face. 

“Why, of course, it’s Hotch’s birthday today!” Your brain just stopped working. “With you and Jack there, I believe Hotch’ll love it! Hello? Are you still there?” 

“Yes, yes, I’m here.” Oh shit. You didn’t know it was Aaron’s birthday today. They talked all staff, but it seemed they failed to mention respective birthday. Like you didn’t know his, you bet Aaron didn’t know yours too. 

“Where are you having this surprise party, Ms. Garcia?” 

“It’s just Penelope to you, Mr. Hotch’s boyfriend! You could come to his apartment now, if you can!” 

                                                       -Hotch-

You sighed as you looked up at the light brown apartment in front of you. Nothing to worry about, right? Penelope works with Aaron, she must be or she wouldn’t know your number. Now think of it, how did she find out? Anyway, you pressed Aaron’s house number and a woman’s voice asked if you were F/N. It was a different voice from before, it was not Penelope. 

“Yes?” 

“Come in, just press the floor when you get into the lift!” Guess the women around Aaron were all cheerful. 

You drummed your fingers on your side as the lift goes up. You didn’t know anyone who Aaron worked with and you were anxious if you’d give them a bad impression of yourself. Before you could knock on the dark brown door, the door abruptly opened and a muscular man stared at you. 

“Hey, you must be F/N!” The man gave you a wide grin showing his white teeth. 

“F/N!” Jack’s voice squealed behind the man. 

As the man moved to the side, the boy flew into your embrace. It was wonder how a child can like you as if he knew you for a long time. You and Jack only met on Halloween day, which was two days ago. And you were proud that you were friendly enough to make Jack instantly take a liking to you. 

“Hey, buddy.” 

“Aunt Pen said you gonna help Daddy’s birthday party!” Jack’s big eyes shined with excitement. Good to know Ms. Penelope Garcia wasn’t a scam but a real FBI agent. “This is Uncle Derek,” Jack pointed the muscular man who held his hand to greet you. 

“Derek Morgan. Just Derek or Morgan’s fine.” You and he shook hands, and wow, his grip was strong. 

“Aunt Pen’s not here, she’s maybe with Aunt Jess?” Jack looked around with a puzzled expression in your arms. 

“I believe they are.” Derek led you to another room, passing through the kitchen. “Baby girl, he’s here.” 

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!” The very familiar voice echoed the house, burying Derek’s chuckling with her voice. “You are here!” The woman, Penelope, looked at you with widened eyes, her arms stretched towards you as if she wasn’t expecting you to turn up. 

“Hi,” you gave her a little hesitant smile, but nonetheless a genuine one. “I’m F/N, you called me before?” 

“Yes, yes, that was me. I’m Penelope, I work with Hotch. He’s our boss,” she pointed herself and Derek. “And, and, this,” she dragged another woman who smiled at you, “is Jessica, Jack’s beautiful aunt.” 

“Hello, how’re you,” Jessica shook your hand, giving you a welcoming smile. 

“Surprised, but good.” You shrugged, your brain still processing a bit. You didn’t know Aaron had a sister, perhaps you should ask about it later. 

“Others are coming later, for now they’re occupying Hotch so he won’t know anything.” Penelope said as she picked up a box full of birthday party supplies and decorations. 

“You know,” you let Jack go as he wanted to decorate the house with them. “He once told me you guys aren’t really professional when it comes to surprising him or pranking him.” You scratched back of your head, smiling at Penelope’s shocked face. 

“But he won’t know today,” Derek barked a loud laughter. “That usually happens because Baby girl here give it away.” 

“I do keep secretes very well, mister!” Penelope gave her friend a mocking indignant face. 

“If you say so,” Jessica smirked as she exited the room with colourful ‘Happy Birthday’ banner. 

“How many are coming?” You asked as you helped them unpacking several boxes and decorate the room. You wouldn’t know anyone, but you thought you could be conversational. 

“Well,” Penelope folded her fingers, “except us we have, Rossi, Spencer, Emily, JJ and probably Henry and Will.” 

“Are they all…?” 

“We all work together. Well, Henry’s JJ’s son and Will’s Henry’s dad. But we’ve worked with Will once too, so you could say that.” Penelope laughed wholeheartedly. “He doesn’t talk about his work, is he?” 

“No,” you shook your head a little. 

You never asked him about his work, and he didn’t utter a word about his work too when he was with you. You just thought he’d be too tired and knowing the nature of Aaron’s work, you never thought about asking it. Jessica returned to the room to look for more decoration, she probably heard their conversation. 

“Does he take his work and do it while you’re with him?” Jessica asked, her arms hugging her torso. 

Your head unconsciously titled to the side. “No?” Was that important? 

Penelope cheerfully talked about taking some box to Derek and left Jessica and you alone. And she didn’t forget to shut the door, and you didn’t know why. You felt uncomfortable, feeling like you’re suddenly interrogated by Aaron’s sister. 

“He doesn’t want you to leave him.” Jessica smiled at you, riddling you with her words. She laughed a bit as she saw your puzzled look. “He used to bring his work to home, that made Haley mad sometimes.” 

You heard that name before. Aaron told you his wife and he dated since their high school, though unfortunate accident took her away from him and Jack. He never told you the details, and you didn’t ask him. The excruciating pain was palpable on Aaron’s face, so you didn’t want him to remember the painful memory by telling you. You never pushed him for more. 

“Because he’s busy, we can’t really have a proper conversation and we’re always with Jack so you know.” Jessica smiled ghostly. “But whenever he talks about you, his eyes lit up in spirit. He returns to the Aaron I used to know before everything.” She gave you a knowing smile. “I know talking these staff can be uncomfortable for you, especially talking about Haley. But like my sister made Aaron happy, you make him happy.” Oh, Jessica was not Aaron’s sister, but sister-in-law. “You’re not substituting Haley, mind you.” She sighed. “I want him to be happy.” Not just a sister-in-law, Jessica was truly Aaron’s sister, wishing his happiness. 

“I want him to be happy, too.” Both of you just looked at each other for a moment. “Isn’t it, you know, weird?” She looked at you questioningly. “Aaron suddenly bringing a boyfriend? It’s not normal isn’t it?” You didn’t know you were scrubbing the side of your pants due to anxiety. 

“You mean Aaron being bisexual?” She titled her head questioningly. “Oh, yeah, I was surprised when he told me he has a boyfriend, but it’s not weird. You make Aaron happy, that makes Jack happy. And that makes me happy and his friends happy. Everyone’s happy, it’s not weird or strange at all. It’s just natural for you and Aaron love each other.” 

You couldn’t help but tears pooling. In fact, you never asked Aaron about his family or friends because you were scared. You just buried questions deep inside so you wouldn’t be attacked by bigotry comments. 

Suddenly she pulled you into a big hug. “Don’t worry, you’re a perfect normal man. No one should judge you or Aaron because of your sexual orientation. I’m glad both of you can be honest with me.” Jessica laughed as she patted your shoulder. “Even though we met just today. Now let’s decorate more before Aaron storms in.” 

                                                       -Hotch-

Hotch rubbed his eyes, the writings on the report just leaving as soon as they come into his brain. He couldn’t concentrate, the Sun was saying its good-bye to another day. He had to concentrate in order to return to his son as soon as possible. Then his phone beeped and he frowned as he picked up the phone. 

‘Hey, bro, happy birthday.’ 

It was Sean. He was surprised his little brother actually texted him on his birthday. Hotch couldn’t help but chuckle a bit as he reread the text. Sean actually never calls him ‘bro’ or ‘brother’ unless it was a rare occasion. And it was a first time in years he called Aaron ‘bro’ even in a text message. 

 ‘M not sorry to not giving any present to a birthday boy.’ Another message from Sean, with a laughing yellow face in the end. 

‘You could always call me. But thank you.’ Before sending the text, Aaron wondered if his text was too… well, stiff? He threw his head to the headrest. He could be, no, should be more friendly with his little brother. He quickly deleted his text. 

‘Visit me anytime soon and that can be my present, brother.’ Sean didn’t like to be called ‘little’ brother, so no ‘little brother’. It’s not a perfect text, but he tried. 

He nearly jumped in a start after sending the text when JJ opened his door. Thank gods his face didn’t show any emotion. “Hotch, you need to go home. Everyone went home already.” JJ shook her head.

“Let me just finish this report.” 

“That can wait, but not your birthday,” the blonde agent squinted her eyes disapprovingly. “Have time with Jack, he’s probably waiting for you to say ‘happy birthday dad’.” 

The Unit Chief quickly closed his mouth, he couldn’t say anything. “You’re right.” Hotch sighed. “So everyone’s gone, already?” 

“Yeah, said they can always finish their paperwork tomorrow,” she rolled her eyes. 

“We’ll see to that,” Hotch snorted. Not even Dave will get away from the paperwork tomorrow. “Well, good night, JJ.” 

“Night, Hotch.” JJ smiled at him and left the office. 

                                                       -Hotch-

Aaron stared at the apartment building where his home was. He could see the light through the window, Jack probably waiting for him with Jessica. He looked down at his phone once again, as he did for every one minute since Sean texted him. You didn’t text him or call him. Of course nothing as you had a night shift and you were probably sleeping. And he never told you about his birthday being today. Receiving a ‘happy birthday’ text from Sean made him happy, so it’d make him happier if you texted him or called him to say ‘happy birthday’. But that was his fault, he never mentioned. Why didn’t he do that? 

He groaned as he roughly brushed down his face before entering the building. He was tired, but happy to see his son from this long day. It’d be a best day if he could see you along with Jack. Yesterday and the day before were the best days he had for some years. Spending time with Jack and you, waking up next to you, having breakfast with you and Jack. 

Unlike the last time from his office, this time he couldn’t control his emotion when everyone yelled ‘surprise’ under the ‘Happy Birthday’ banner in his apartment. His mouth didn’t even close from wonder. 

Jack dashed to him, holding a birthday card. “Happy birthday, Daddy!” Aaron held his son and kissed on Jack’s crown. 

“Hey, buddy, what’s this?” 

“It’s a surprise party, Daddy.” Jack gave him the ‘don’t be silly’ face. 

The crowd came to him, each of them chanting ‘happy birthday’ to him, and among them you were there. Just like when he saw his son, his eyes brightened at your presence. You were bashfully smiling at you, standing next to Morgan and Reid. 

Everyone started to give him the presents, starting from Jack. Even little Henry gave his Uncle Aaron a little drawing with a bright smile. When it was your turn, you just shrugged and said ‘later’. Though Aaron could see distress in your eyes.

                                                       -Hotch-

It was wonder how his small apartment was having this many guests, and one by one they started to fall asleep from drinking too much wine. Both boys were already crawled into Jack’s bed, and the adults were just loosened up at his home. Perhaps they could’ve just planned his surprise part at Dave’s house. 

Aaron didn’t even expect his mentor all drunken and sleeping on his study chair. Prentiss shoved herself into the sofa where Reid fainted happily with red face. Morgan protectively hugging Garcia while his back leaned on the sofa, while his head hung on Garcia’s crown. Will just like Morgan, his back on the sofa but letting JJ on his thighs and crouched on his chest. He won’t wake his friends, they will whine about their back and neck being stiff, but never going to wake them up and make them do all the paperworks for hiding this from him. 

“I know that look,” Jessica scoffed from behind. “You gonna make them pay for planning this.” 

“Am I?” Aaron smirked at his sister-in-law. 

“Be lenient on them, it was Jack’s idea.” He blinked in surprise. “Of course, the adults were more enthusiastic than Jack.” She cleaned the kitchen and packed her bag. 

“You can use my bed.” Aaron suggested. 

“I have to go, I have to work on some staff before going to bed. And you have your boyfriend to care.” She gave him an accusing finger. He looked around, and he couldn’t find you. “I didn’t drink any wine and I brought my car. Don’t worry about me, Aaron.” She held the door open wide, giving him a familial smile. “I’m glad you have friends to support you. Good night Aaron, see you tomorrow.” 

“Good night, Jessica.” Aaron gave her a thankful smile. 

                                                       -Hotch-

When he entered his room to find you, you were on his bed, yawning while swinging your legs slowly. 

You held your arms up when you saw him. “You never told me today’s your birthday, so I’m mad.” Aaron chuckled as he looked at your fake angry face. Your eyes starting to lose focus as sleepiness kicking in you rather fast. “Hey, don’t laugh,” you threw one of his pillows to his way, but Aaron skilfully avoided it. “I’m serious. I didn’t have any time to prepare present for you.” You pouted, not realising you were acting like a child. 

Aaron quietly sat next to you, his strong arm wrapping your side. “You being here is my present.” 

“No,” you replied in slur before giving a big yawn. “I’ll always be here for you, so it can’t be a present.” Aaron’s chest swelled in happiness, his heart running over the hill. But you didn’t notice Aaron’s very very happy smile because you leaned on his broad chest, eyes closed. “I want something special, something that reminds me wherever you’re,” you mumbled as you rubbed your eyes. Aaron couldn’t comprehend anything after that, you were both mumbling and slurring and soon falling asleep in his arm. 

“Trust me, F/N. I’ve got the best present ever today.” Aaron whispered to his sleeping boyfriend, pleasant smile plastered on his face.

[cupcakemolotov]

Road to Ruin

I... have no idea where this came from. But hey, I’ll take almost 2K of story after a drought of words. SFW, character death, probably some angst. You can read it here on A03 if you prefer.

                                                            -

Caroline had missed the Memorial Service.

Finals at NYU had been brutal, her schedule packed and tangled tightly together after a truly unfair back to back testing schedule. She’d wanted nothing more than to climb into her lumpy dorm bed and sleep for a week, but she’d promised Bonnie she’d try to make it.

She hadn’t.

But that was the fault of May storms and erratic flight schedules, not her personal choice. By the time her mom picked her up in Richmond, five hours late and dragging with exhaustion no number of espresso shots could perk up, it was dark and raining. She’d fallen asleep in the car, dragged herself into the house, and had just enough energy to change before diving into her bed for the sleep she’d been missing for what felt like weeks.

Elena was dead.

The news had come five days before finals, and after sobbing her eyes out on her RA’s shoulder, she’d pulled herself together and buried herself in all night study sessions and endless equations. But the knowledge had lingered, that this friend of hers who had grown so distant the last year, more distant than any amount of school schedules and new friends could allow for when Caroline was a devout texter, was gone. She’d cried in the shower, for the girl who she’d once known and would never know again.

Shifting her weight on the damp grass, Caroline studied the freshly dug grave. The last few years before graduation hadn’t been good for their friendship, High School having been a roller coaster of drama and boys that was expected, she supposed. But if only that had been the only drama, she was certain they wouldn't have grown so far away from each other. There had been that weird mass grave that someone had found that had kept her mom busy for months dealing with the locals and the FBI, the weird way the old boarding house had been repaired seemingly to open up only to remain empty. Those strangers who her mom had not liked who had asked questions about a couple of weird gravestones in the museum. That series of petty thefts that had kept her mom even busier than the mass grave and its collection of weird historians and FBI investigations, that had finally culminated in some family heirlooms being stolen from the Lockwoods.

Tyler had bitched for months about it. Weirdly, it had been those complaints that had been the deciding factor that had her breaking up with him. Yeah, the sex had been good, but a girl did not need pillow talk about family heirlooms and how upset his mom had been. Any boyfriend worth their salt (and teenage hormones) should have been far too distracted by her being naked right there, not their moms.

She shuddered a little, thinking about it.

The second half of their junior year had been a mess, and been made worse when Aunt Jenna had died. Caroline’s fingers tightened on the bouquet she was holding, thinking of all the deaths that had accumulated that year. Aunt Jenna. Her Dad. Carol Lockwood. How terrified she had been that her mom would end up next, logical or not.

Then there had been the way Elena had gone all weirdly obsessed with finding her biological parents, the way it had driven her as if it was something outside of herself she couldn't control. Caroline studied the tops of the flowers she held in her hand, wondering if not for the first time if she could have done something different. Been a better friend, helped Elena in some way. Those long weeks that first Christmas when Elena had decided to spend it alone, how she had refused to answer a single text message until she’d shown back up at school, dark circles under eyes like an underfed anemic.

She’d been… different, after that. Less boy crazy and more… mature. And that summer, she’d gone to meet a family claiming to be hers. And when she’d come home, she’d been so happy. Bouncing, sparkling happy. Cousins, she’d said. Brother’s and a sister who said that her mother had been theirs and they’d been looking for her.

Family.

That was what Caroline wanted to remember her. The girl who sat with her for hours after Bill died, both of them quiet, legs tangled on Caroline’s bed. The girl who liked board games and pink lipstick and who had terrible taste in shoes. Her friend. Not the girl from their Senior year who had slowly become something else entirely. Pale and wane, short tempered and then so, so quiet. The girl whose new family moved into Mansion at the edge of town that had been empty for decades, who paid for an expensive car and clothes and who never came to a single game to watch her cheer.

Letting out a slow breath, she set the flowers she’d brought down on the grave and chewed on her lower lip. People usually said things at graves, didn’t they? But she’d never been good at that sort of thing. Not at her Dad’s grave, and not here, standing over the bones of her friend. She’d brought daisy’s because Elena liked them, and she briefly closed her eyes, hoping that Elena knew she was here, that she missed her, and that even if she reached the old age of one hundred, she’d remember the night she and Elena and Bonnie had laughed until they cried over the most ridiculous of conversations, until they’d had to scramble to pretend they’d been sleeping when her mom came home at dawn after her shift.

That would be the Elena she’d take with her.

Swallowing hard, she turned on one heel and jerked to a stop, heart slamming into her throat as she found a man she didn’t recognize lingering far too close to her. He was only a few inches taller than her, but something about the utter stillness of his posture, the way she hadn’t heard him walk up behind her, her usual excellent sense of people taught by her mother and perfected in the subway system having failed to ping at her, left her breathless with surprise. For a moment, Caroline struggled to get her pulse under control before narrowing her eyes. “Excuse you, creepy much? Most people have the decency not to loom in graveyards.”

A sudden hint of a smile played across a distractingly full mouth, and he reached up and pushed his sunglasses up into his rumpled curls, something about the way he was looking at her sending the faintest hint of alarm down her spine. “Spend a lot of time in graveyards?”

“That is none of your business,” Caroline said, letting her voice frost over in disapproval.

“Apologies, love.” He said, body shifting from that hair raising awareness to a soft charm she might have liked if she hadn’t seen him looking at her like she was a particularly interesting bug. “I didn't recall seeing you at the funeral, and I’m sure I would have remembered you.”

Something about him, the way his eyes never left hers, put her back up. She hadn’t spent the last two years in New York City to let some weirdo stranger intimidate her now. “I don’t recognize you at all,” she said primly. “So that means you were fairly new to Elena’s life. Do you make a habit of memorizing faces at funerals? That seems like the sort of thing that would alarm a psychologist.”

The curve of his mouth deepened, and to her despair, he had dimples. “You must be Caroline Forbes. Ms. Bennett was disappointed that you missed the service.”

Caroline shrugged, stubbornly holding his gaze though it was starting to bother her that he didn’t blink. “May storms are a bitch. And neither Bonnie nor Elena mentioned anyone who would match your description.”

He looked intrigued. “Do you usually ask for physical descriptions of their acquaintances?”

“And pictures of their drivers licenses,” she retorted. “So that if they go missing, I know where to direct my mother to find them, but you're definitely not either of their types, and since you think you have some claim on Elena, that must mean you belong to the Mikaelson family. Which one are you?”

She didn't do much to hide what she thought of his family, and it didn’t seem to bother him.

“Smart,” he murmured. “I’m Klaus.” And then he offered her his hand, something like a challenge lingering at the back of his eyes. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Caroline.”

It was a dare. And she was terrible at turning those down, even as her instincts warned her that there was something about this man she wasn’t seeing. But she was also standing twenty feet away from a number of her own dead relatives, and Grandma Forbes would haunt her forever if she was rude to this man in front of her. Baring her teeth in something like a smile, she took his hand. “A pleasure, I’m sure.”

Laughter had lit his eyes a half moment before their skin touched, and something she couldn’t describe rolled down her spine. More sensation than feeling, she felt it down to her feet, and it left her pulse pounding. She pulled her hand back, too quick to be polite, but she didn’t care as she stared at the man who had gone still and so quietly dangerous, she was debating reaching for the pepper stray attached to her keys.

She could probably get it out and in his face before he lunged.

Maybe.

Klaus’ fingers had curled into his palm, as if he too had felt whatever that had been, and the blue of his eyes were doing something strange, and Caroline became intensely aware of everything around them. The buzz of summer insects, the shape of his stupidly plush mouth, the smell of fresh turned dirt. It was the near silent buzz of an incoming text that broke the staring contest between them. Senses hyper-alert, she pulled her phone out of her purse and saw that she had two missed calls from Bonnie. Glancing up from her lashes to find that Klaus hadn’t looked away, so she pasted on her best false smile and shrugged.

“Well, Klaus, I’m sure this is where I should say something polite about seeing you around, but that seems super unlikely,” Caroline said with a false shrug of disappointment. “So, I’ll just say bye instead.”

A lowering of his lashes, something behind his eyes that burned her skin. “Hmm, I suppose we’ll see, won’t we? The family has decided to stick around a bit longer, give ourselves time to mourn. You may be surprised how much you’ll see us.”

Caroline snorted and stepped around him. “History of your family’s willingness to grace the town with your presence says otherwise.” But because her grandma had raised her right, and was probably seriously judging her only granddaughter from the plot just a few feet away, she smiled and waved, just like her pageant days had taught her. And only when she was almost to her car, did she relax enough to look at her text.

And felt her heart drop to her toes.

I don’t think Elena is dead.

Brows tucking tightly together, she went through the motions of unlocking the car door, glancing back towards the man lingering in the graveyard. Klaus hadn't moved, except to slid his hands into his pockets and to turn to watch her. She could still feel the imprint of his fingers against hers, the heat and calluses of him, the shock of him down her spine. For a moment, she tried to remember what Elena had told her about her biological family, the people who went through all the right motions but never showed her friend the care she deserved. The brother’s who had been so considerate, and offered her anything money could buy but not a single ounce of affection. Lifting her chin, she narrowed her eyes, even though she knew he couldn't see her.

Let him think what he wanted. She was fairly certain she’d never see him again. Klaus, who stood in graveyards in pressed slacks and rosaries around his throat. Something was going on there, and the last thing she needed was for him to turn out to be some kind of serial killer.

Sliding into the driver’s seat, she started the engine and set her teeth, only then allowing herself to really absorb what Bonnie had sent her. Not dead? What was Bonnie thinking? And if she was right, why would the Mikaelson’s lie?

Why bury Elena, fake or otherwise, with the ghosts if she wasn’t really dead?