#my economic class is coloring my views again

[shallowrambles]

Adam had the power of an archangel inside of him

And then wanted to be Small

[qqueenofhades]

1. Maybe it's the conspiracy theorist in me, but I also think part of the reason conservatives don't want better social programs is because they don't want the working class to have more power (for reasons I cannot understand, as I know many working class conservatives). Free college, universal healthcare, and high unemployment checks mean workers have more freedom to bargain with employers-after all, if I can quit my job and still have healthcare, go back to college for free/cheap to gain

the education to work elsewhere, and will be compensated well by unemployment until I can get a new job, it means workers have 0 incentive to stay at shitty, low paying jobs or in toxic work environments, and it would force all jobs to have good work environments, pay more, and offer more benefits to attract workers, such as 401k and maternity and paternity leave. It almost feels like they're afraid of that happening-of the working class getting more power-but I don't know why.

I discussed the working-class support of the "myth of meritocracy" in this post. In a nutshell, the "fantasy of class mobility," or the unfounded belief that one day they themselves will join the elite or upper classes and gain large amounts of wealth, keeps them defending the unjust system as it currently exists. They want to pretend that they will eventually benefit from the rules designed to favor rich people, rather than make any sustained attempt to actually stop being poor and change the system that deliberately keeps them that way. They're likewise conditioned to believe all the capitalism-is-great, America-fuck-yeah propaganda, and as I have also discussed before, there's a large amount of ingrained racism; they will reject any changes or politicians that might benefit them economically, out of a fear that "undeserving" people of color will also get a cut of the pie. Basically, they think that no matter how materially deprived their lives are, they're still white, and they will vote in the interests of upholding hierarchical white supremacy, rather than any notion of re-distributive economic justice.

Likewise, yes; late-stage capitalism relies on a constantly struggling working class that has no other options but to put up with the shitty, low-paying job (tying health insurance to being employed, for example, is one of its more evil innovations; you literally can't quit or good luck paying for any medical treatment). Any sustained improvements and social welfare reform that gives them more flexibility, more pay, more choice, or more education is a threat to that model, which is why the oligarchic economic interests lobby so hard against it. Because the white conservative working classes are so thoroughly inculcated to support white elites instead of their more racially diverse economic brethren, they will again usually often agree with this, and parrot taglines about "pulling yourself up by your bootstraps" and "making it on your own" without "sucking on the teat of Socialism!!" In this case, it's framed as a personal virtue to struggle without asking for help or expecting any more assistance from the government, tied to those hoary old American stereotypes about "making it on your own" as a self-reliant man etc etc. But yes. As is often the case in America somehow, the core reason is racism, white grievance, and libertarian mythology that views everything as individual, not structural. Alas.

[science-fiction-is-real]

I am re-reading Homestuck

Here are my thoughts.

>> Digital culture isn’t what it used to be.  How many 13-year-olds do you know who chat with friends through desktop apps or even use desktop computers?  When was the last time you played a computer game using a CD?  This came out just a little more than a decade ago, and so much of the story already feels vintage.

>> Our internet is so very precious, guys.  It really is.  And if we don’t treasure it, if we don’t archive it, if we don’t take active steps to keep it accessible, we will lose it.  Homestuck’s early chapters are difficult to read from a technical point of view due to the passage of time.  I had to install a browser extension to access the Flash content.  (The one I used is called Ruffle.  It works perfectly on both Firefox and chrome-based browsers.)  There are links in the text of the comment that don’t work.  There are images that don’t load.  Homestuck isn’t some artistic masterpiece, but it is an important piece of ambitious digital art that broke a lot of interesting ground and it deserves to be preserved long into the future.

>> It’s weird that this was written about 13-year-olds, and weird the main audience was teenagers.  Not necessarily because of violence or sex, but just how complex the story is, how much higher level vocabulary it uses.  I learned so much vocabulary reading Homestuck the first time around, and even as a 20 year old reading for the first time, I still didn’t really get it.

>> It’s interesting reading a story about people whose primary social lives exist in a digital space.  Friendships aren’t any less real just because they don’t exist in meat-space, but it’s sad we live in a world where in-person friendships are being whittled away by alienating forces, where more people than ever report they don’t have real life friends.  Homestuck was produced by a culture that suffered those problems.  This isn’t to say Homestuck is bad because of this.  But it is interesting that a very popular piece of media treats this social isolation as being completely normal.

>> Another social norm that finds its way into the story: Consumer culture.  Consumer culture isn’t just people wanting to buy a lot of things.  It’s when we take it a step further and begin to identify ourselves with the things that we consume.  When we meet several of the characters, the first things we learn about them is what type of movies they watch, what type of books they read, what type of decorations they get for their houses, what type of stuff they have.  Who would John Egbert be without his love of bad 80s and 90s movies?  I’m not saying Homestuck sends a “bad message” or “promotes” consumer culture, it merely reflects the consumer culture that exists in the society that produced this story.

>> Class identity is presented in an interesting way which also reflects modern western culture.  In the modern western world, we are taught to view ourselves as consumers first, and as working class people never.  The kids don’t view themselves as belong to any type of economic class.  They don’t ever talk about what they want to be when they grow up.  We only get some vague ideas of what their guardians do for a living.

When characters are rich or poor, their wealth of poverty is just considered to be a characteristic of them or their families, not as a result of a social relationship.  

And once again, an ever-present problem in media, the middle class, professional-managerial life style is viewed as a default.  John Egbert, your quintessential every-man character, lives in a fairly large suburban home, has a dad who works a white color job, and seems to live fairly comfortably, which is something that a pretty large portion of Americans don’t have.  This is a problem in a lot of American media, not just homestuck, of course, but I thought I’d add it to the list because it struck me as interesting.

[afigzz25]

Angela Davis is one of the most amazing intellectuals and political activists of all time. Her book “Women, Race, and Class” which I read for the first time a few years ago (and want to read again soon) blew my mind. She explains and articulates, in such an incredible manner, the exact, detrimental ways in which our country has stood for, advocated for, and cultivated the belief, in one form or another, a capitalist, male, and white supremacy, so that poor people, people of color (Black people in particular) and women (women of color, especially Black women, in particular) always get the short end of the stick. If you’re looking for intersectional feminist literature to better understand how and why we got to where we are as a society, give this a read.

Just a few quotes—

“Expediency governed the slaveholders’ posture toward female slaves: when it was profitable to exploit them as if they were men, they were regarded, in effect, as genderless, but when they could be exploited, punished and repressed in ways suited only for women, they were locked into their exclusively female roles.”

“Though Black women enjoyed few of the dubious benefits of the ideology of womanhood, it is sometimes assumed that the typical female slave was a houseservant—either a cook, maid, or mammy for the children in the “big house.” Uncle Tom and Sambo have always found faithful companions in Aunt Jemima and the Black Mammy—stereotypes which presume to capture the essence of the Black woman’s role during slavery. As is so often the case, the reality is actually the diametrical opposite of the myth. Like the majority of slave men, slave women, for the most part, were field workers. While a significant proportion of border-state slaves may have been houseservants, slaves in the Deep South—the real home of the slaveocracy—were predominantly agricultural workers. Around the middle of the nineteenth century, seven out of eight slaves, men and women alike, were field workers.”

“By the 1830s many of women’s traditional economic tasks were being taken over by the factory system. True, they were freed from some of their old oppressive jobs. Yet the incipient industrialization of the economy was simultaneously eroding women’s prestige in the home—a prestige based on their previously productive and absolutely essential domestic labor. Their social status began to deteriorate accordingly. An ideological consequence of industrial capitalism was the shaping of a more rigorous notion of female inferiority. It seemed, in fact, that the more women’s domestic duties shrank under the impact of industrialization, the more rigid became the assertion that “woman’s place is in the home.””

“Even the most radical white abolitionists, basing their opposition to slavery on moral and humanitarian grounds failed to understand that the rapidly developing capitalism from the North was also an oppressive system. They viewed slavery as a detestable and inhuman institution, an archaic transgression of justice. But they did not recognize that the white worker in the North, his or her status as "free" laborer notwithstanding, was no different from the enslaved "worker" in the South: both were victims of economic exploitation.”

[akshayaasblog]

Belfast

The color of Belfast was red. 

She catches in the slick obsidian of my eye, flush as a cherry. As a gleaming wick in the dark night.  I was thrust into the eye of her hurricane.

I found my way here, a slow mid-September, in circumstances unforeseen. 

Belfast breathes.  Exposed brick, auburn streaks, and faded patina waltz around me, wedged between Victorian buildings and cement gray grout. She swirled around me like an autumnal feast, beaming in strokes of gulmohar and persimmon.

She simmers. A tremble, a flutter, a symphony, a swirl.  A flint.

Her leaves whisper with the wind words of resistance. 

She swells to a boil, lashing out as froth, bursting forth from burning embers.  I swoon in her presence.

She tantalizes and invigorates, screaming revolution. It had happened before.  She was sworn testament to it.

         Belfast carried stories of a daunting past.  At the time I arrived, the Queen had just died.  Carnations lay to pay tribute to a woman who dedicated her life to duty. Everywhere else in the world, it was the news. Over here, it rippled across the fabric of their lives as a reminder of a shared history.

The Crown’s rule had been long and riddled with opposition. A divide had taken form that spanned centuries tainted with turmoil.  In the late ‘60s, the cycle had been revived with the onset of a renewed economic downfall. Belfast had experienced good fortune in the decades prior, during the Industrial Revolution. It was a time defined by innovation and a thriving middle class.  Belfast brewed an ecosystem encircling her shipyards and the linen trade. Buildings arose with what remains to this day quintessential to the cityscape.  Kiln-fired brick. By the late '60s,  the industries had dwindled down. 1 in 5 men were unemployed. The scent of desperation and resentment filled the air. Fueled by growing impatience, a prevalent global climate, and centuries of historic precedent- that pesky, troublesome thing bore its head, yet again. Dissent. The Cuban Revolution was at its peak. The United States was marked by the counterculture movement and Civil rights activism. The overlying political landscape underlined rebellion, making it plausible to go against the incumbent bureaucratic grain. Having found footing as a global superpower, USA’s influence dominoes across the West. The Belfast to Derry march by the People’s Democracy echoed the Selma march led by Martin Luther King Jr.  While the overwhelming view in Europe and Britain was in support of the African-American Civil Rights movement, the discrimination against the Irish Catholic minority was not viewed in a parallel light by all. The streets of Belfast were rife with unrest. 

The pain was active and boiling with the winds of hope, hungry for change. Radicals, moderates, diplomats, and anarchists flooded the national landscape, debating, pontificating, and inciting. Words were wielded with strategic precision by some, and callously by others.  One thing was certain. This time it would be different. It had to be. What started as an idea, turned into a longing, that then became a voice. And then a gathering, a crowd, and then a whole legion took root. Even ideological enemies united over shared cause. Alliances were built.  The neighborhoods were divided by what they called “Peace walls”, painted with murals that served as identifiers. Closed fists and red poppies for the loyalists, true to the Crown. Shamrocks and open hands for the nationalists, asking for their own. The most fervent minds were those of the youth, young-blooded and ripe, untempered with time. “Us” against “them”. One day, like others before, down in Donegall Street, the temperature reached a fever pitch, crackling with the spirit of a youth that dared ask for more than what they were given. Faces flexed in tight grimace, a riot took form.

The masses forge headlong and brutish, with unyielding conviction. The police struck back with barricades and batons. Operation Banner. Retaliation, they would call it. Crowd control. Their narrative was one of defense.  Journalists were admonished from reporting favorably about the cause, in an archaic form of sedition. Try to silence a voice, it only grows louder.

The uprising was one of many. ‘Bloody Sunday’, it would come to be known as. Cathedrals weep.  For the nationalists, despite the casualties, it was considered a victory, garnering support from those they couldn’t earlier win favor. Moderates and diplomats found it difficult to side with the violence, no matter how justified the cause.  Still, the story acted as a watershed moment. Treaties were written and signed.  John Hume, a key architect of the process would go on to win the Nobel Peace Prize.

Today, down in Donegall Street, where the riot had taken shape, across the street from the back of St. Anne’s Church, a mural of a hunkering boy peers behind metal grates. ‘The Son of Protagoras’, with hair flaming red.  The image was rife with symbolism.

Protagoras was one of the first known agnostics of the West.  In the mural, the boy depicted to be his son holds a dove in his hands, pierced by twin arrows representing either side of the religious divide. His eyes turned upward toward the church, he bore a countenance with the nuance of anger, sorrow, and disappointment.  A censure against the conflict, it rejected the very premise of division. 

Belfast was peppered with murals.  Every year, artists gather from all over the world as a celebration of ideas and community. Given the history of the Peace Walls, it was conceived as a deliberately subversive act against the divisive political climate that had come to define Belfast. Out of conflict, community. Out of bloodshed, breath. 

Lemonade. Belfast was full of intoxicating promise; a saga of rich characters telling many sides of the same story. History through many lenses.  I spent my days walking through the city center sprayed with murals full of ideas- echoing shared struggle, shared triumph, loss, beauty, and good humor.

Belfast endures. She hopes.  She ventures.

I felt a kinship with Belfast. Her spirit courses through me. It was Bran, the smooth operator, vigilant and a quick read. He had a tattoo of the world map on his forearm, an Australian drawl, and cheerful eyes. Hardened, and mysterious.  It was Shaz, with a sense of humor. Good at heart, but too wild for her own good.  It was sweet Nikki, steadfast and grounded, who cared about the right thing. Strong, full of gumption. It was Paul, the architect who did pottery. A used-to-be traveler, with sadness in his voice. He had seen the world and what it had to offer, and he had made its pain his own. It was the oppression of the British Raj, ringing true to tales I grew up with of colonial India. From Northern Ireland to upper Burma, the Thar, down to Madras, and the Andamans, the stories resonate. And it was the boyish bartender, Belfast-born and Belfast-bred, with simple dreams and an honest disposition, who called me pretty. We met in a tavern that smelled of firewood and sounded of familiar music. He dreamed of meeting the Queen.  My skin still smells of him. I experienced Belfast in all her scales. As the stars in the sky, and the compass needle that fit in the palm of my hand.  Belfast was immense, but measurable. Like a thing too good to conceive, but not too far from reach. 

You have my heart, Belfast, beating fast, and all flushed red.  But I must leave now, and venture forth. The gauntlet awaits.

[dancerin-thedarkness]

Week 12 Studio Update: Moreee paintings

This week's pictures: the completed self-portrait I showed off last week, with the start of a second. Additionally, a painting I did for my very own self, which was my first return to canvas after working on garments and other unconventional materials.

Thoughts on self portraits:

Cowboy is complete, so named because 1.) The abstracted background, based on a highly edited photo of me and my studio, wound up looking like the wild west, and 2.) because lately, Allison Ponthier's song of the same name has really been hitting me hard. Back in West Virginia, I always felt like I didn't belong among my peers-- my gayness and the politics associated with that (ex, wanting human rights for myself), as well as my disconnect from the family that would have provided a source of Appalachian identity made me feel out of place. This was despite my passionate love for the state I call home; my girlfriend and I often joked that we loved West Virginia but it didn't love us back. Now that I'm here, though, I feel profoundly ID-ed as West Virginian-- from the rude comments about my accent, to the little things in my classes and day-to-day life that show that people here view social and economic class and identity in different ways. In Allison's Cowboy, "it took New York to make [her] a cowboy". It took Cincinnati to make me a hillbilly.

Self portrait no. 2 is a photograph of myself and my grandmother, taken approx. 2 years before I got a girlfriend, came out of the closet, and very literally never heard from her again. Have previously thought that it is impossible to do an emotionally neutral self portrait; the nature of the subject makes it impossible. Have learned over the past week that this is more true for some portraits than others. It feels impossible to be satisfied with this work. Despite my self-criticism that I milk my trauma for my art, I find this is only true when I can make the art empowering. My disordered eating becomes a celebration of my body and the bodies of other women who look like me, my lesbianism becomes a celebration of gay identity and same-sex attraction, and so on. My feelings about my grandmother's abandonment, and the abandonment of that entire side of the family, cannot be made empowering. They cannot be a beautiful story, because they do not have a satisfying ending and I don't think they ever will. I cannot speak to my grandmother because I am a homosexual and can't help it, and won't hide it or apologize, and she will not change her mind about her belief that my homosexuality is a lifestyle choice akin ethically to murder. More than likely, this will be the situation until she dies, and when she does, it will be after years of radio silence she chose and I consented to, all the while hiding my sadness and my boiling hot anger. (As always, my apologies for the TMI, but I like to explain myself and my thought process.) As a result of, well, *gesturing wildly* all that, I don't know if I can ever feel like it's done or done well.

Shorter and less-melodramatic words on Serpentine, my very very pink and abstract interpretation of my favorite subject, Medusa. Conversations about femininity and pink, about the colors I choose when painting my girl collided with the desire to do something for myself, something I would like to see. Medusa is a female monster, arguably the ultimate depiction of female rage, and I like to think of my art as an exploration of that rage, but one that dives into how rage and female monstrosity can be beautiful. Pink is the color of women, at least in this time and this culture, or more accurately, the color of girls and girlhood. Girlhood and womanhood are beautiful and they are terrible. Medusa is pink.

[jaykayblr]

And it went like ; Doyoung | One-shot

Pairing : Doyoung × Reader

Genre : fluff, strangers to friends to lovers au, college/university au, mutual pining, café is kinda main here.

Warnings : slapping, crying, teeny bit of angst, kissing. Don't worry it isn't anything extreme.

Summary : it all started with two cups of iced americano.

Word count : 2.7k

Taglist : @starrdustville @thechoppersan @cupidluvstarrz @ncvltrtchnlgy @jenoleemonade @bluejaem

Author's note : ahh, this is my first One-shot. Based loosely on request that @starrdustville sent in my previous blog. Leave a comment to let me know what you feel about this one. I have worked for this one for a week and I am kinda proud of my improvement but I feel I could have done better now that I have read it almost ten times, but lemme know what you all think!. I hope you all like it! If there are any mistakes, please let me know.

You glance up from the screen of the mobile to greet the orbs of the male who had entered the class. The brown eyes roamed through your face and then looked away, choosing a place in the class’s backward.

Mysterious brown eyes were the first thing you noticed about the new transfer student. He was aloof, remaining silent throughout the class. You could never find him chatting with anybody. He consistently preferred taking the last seat in the class. He was suave, with soft boyish qualities. You had been looking at him at whatever chance you received for the recent few days. It was challenging to not acknowledge him; the dude had silky soft hair through which he would run his hand occasionally throughout the class. The transfer student wore dark colors, which made him appear even more alluring than the rest of your class boys. He was lean and was taller than you.

Straightening yourself when the professor started the class, you forced your mobile away.

Focused, the educator went on about defining the antique architecture of Rome. It was an interesting subject - but you found yourself gawking at the new student. It looked as if he acknowledged your stare, because there was a slight smirk stretching on his cheeks when you continued gawking at him for two solid minutes. You glanced forward and tried paying regard to your lecturer.

Same routine, but different.

You are carrying two drinks of iced Americano in your hands. The route you picked was busy with the science graduates bustling out of their classes. You should’ve kept your eyes up to prevent what was about to happen. You soon knocked into a hard chest with your Americano staining the said man’s hoodie. Before you could lose your balance, a pair of sturdy hands holding your arms held you. You couldn’t speak. As you realized the situation, you backed away to bow towards the guy - to sputter an apology, until you hear that man’s voice.

“Calm down, woman,”

You couldn’t convey anything. You were so enthralled by the individual’s voice that you forgot your locations. His voice was deep and silvery. The phrase sounded unfamiliar to you, coming from him. His accent was mind-numbingly hot - even if you had heard only two words coming out of his mouth. You view up to examine the new guy from your class. His eyes have a playful glint at them, as he grins at your obvious staring. You quickly move backward and apologize to him.

“I am sorry. I am so sorry, oh god I am so sorry” you bow to him multiple times. You gain the attention of the surrounding science graduates who chuckle to themselves but keep moving. He catches you by your arms again and interrupts you from bowing to him again and again and instinctively makes your heart thump a thousand times faster than ever.

“It’s fine, I will clean it and it will be fine”

“At Least let me help you clean it, please?” you asked, and he nodded.

That was a year ago.

Currently, it’s the fourth year of your college and you and doyoung are two best buddies. In this one year, you both have turned into devoted friends who can’t live without each other. Sounds cheesy, yes, but that is exactly how it is.

[From doyoung; ]

WhErE ArE YoU?!

You chuckle seeing your mobile screen flash with his messages. Sitting in your economics lecture right now, learning something about marketing. You look around to see if anyone is looking at you. The half the students paying attention to the professor and the other half are sleeping or doing their own thing. You glance at your professor who was extremely focused on teaching the first benchers. You quickly type a reply.

[To doyoung; ]

In class! What do you want?

You hear the buzzing on your phone after a few minutes.

“Your boyfriend is texting you” your seatmate mutters beside you and you just chuckle - not at her but at the constant buzzing of your phone showing that your best friend is turning impatient.

[From doyoung; ]

Which one?

When will it end?

Ah, respond!

[To doyoung; ]

God! Doyoung!

Economics and in 15 minutes.

It wasn’t late until you heard three more buzzes from your phone. Your seatmate - somi wriggles her eyebrows at you.

[From doyoung; ]

So there is this new cafe near our college.

I want to go!

Please come with me?

[To doyoung; ]

Ok, fine.

Pick me up from the football court.

[From doyoung; ]

Yes, madam!

“You both are one weird pair” you flinch when you see somi snooping at your phone over your shoulders.

“Then stay away from us,” you say and put your phone inside your pocket.

“Just confess to him. His female admirers are increasing day by day. Only yesterday I saw Jasmine confessing to him.”

“Wait what?!” you almost shout, gaining the attention of the professor and a few students. The professor glares at you and goes back to teaching.

“Yes, and don’t worry, he rejected her” she rolls her eyes as you sigh in relief.

“But it will not always happen. Listen, if you don’t confess to him, he will eventually start dating someone else,” she says with a stern look, as if she is scolding you.

“I know, but can you please not scare me? I am just nervous! We have been friends for so-” somi cuts you off.

“You all have been friends for a year and you don’t Wanna ruin it and end this friendship by confessing, right?” she says and you nod while looking down. “Baby, if you don’t let him know your feelings, he will always think of you as a friend. Is that ok? He will eventually start dating some other girl. Is that ok with you? Are you ok with seeing him with another girl?”

You shake your head. She was right; has always been. Somi always told you to confess to doyoung, but you really didn’t want to ruin the relationship you had with doyoung. He was the most precious person in your life. And it has been like that for a year now.

Doyoung had shown no interest in any other girls - including you. So you never really thought about the possibility of him dating. But now as somi stated this possibility - it made your heartache. It made you experience a weird heaviness in your chest that you couldn’t exactly pinpoint.

Were you really ok with that? Are you ok with seeing him in the arms of another girl? Were you ok not taking up the chance to date him? Were you ok giving him up? Would he reject you? Or would he reciprocate your feelings? Are you really ok with taking up the risk?

These thoughts swirl your mind as the class gets dismissed.

You and somi get up and walk towards the exit when somi stops in front of you and looks you in the eye.

“Do it before it’s too late. Time doesn’t wait for anyone” and she leaves like that - provoking something in you.

Maybe it’s about time you do something about it.

Standing near the football court, you watch some guys from the foreign communications playing football. Their loud cheers surround the campus. You sit near the benchers thinking deeply about the risk of confessing to doyoung.

Somi’s words ring in your head. You feel a pang of jealousy in your chest when you imagine doyoung with another girl.

"Ha!" you flinch and look behind to see doyoung laughing like he won a trophy for scaring you.

"Ahh, you scared me!" he internally coos at the little pout you made without realising it.

"Lets go?"

The fragrance of vanilla hits your nostrils the moment you step inside the cafeteria. The little bell rang, alerting the barista of your arrival. A grey-haired barista looked towards both of you and grinned. You glanced around; the cafe was bustling with people. The chattering of young couples, friends, and teenagers filled in the shop.

Intertwining his hand with yours, Doyoung pulled you towards a corner seat. As you both settled, the same barista walked up towards you two.

“what can I serve this fascinating couple today?” she chirped in a very calm voice.

You were going to deny her assumption but doyoung cut you.

“so what are you having?” he inquired, propping himself on his forearms.

“um, I guess, caffe latte?”

“ah-ha! I was considering the same!” he looked towards the barista “two caffe latte please?”

“sure, anything else?” she asked, her eyes creasing at the sides as she beamed at you two. Returning the smile you looked towards Doyoung with a raised eyebrow as if asking him ‘do you need something more?’. he glanced at the menu card in front of him. “hmm, croissants?”

"coming up," she exclaims and goes back to her work.

"and oh, this time I’m offering to pay!" as soon as you announce that, doyoung’s expression changes to a frown, demonstrating his displeasure. Before he can say anything, you resonate "whenever we go out, you never let me pay! This time I’m paying and I don’t wish to hear any disagreements!"

"Y/nnnn" he whines and you shake your head at him.

Falling in comfortable silence, you both listen to the soft jazz playing on the radio of the cafeteria. After a few minutes, doyoung glances at you, hesitance apparent on his face.

“what happened?” you urge him. He just shakes his head and busies himself by looking at his nails. You want to question him further, but you see the same barista walking up to you with your orders.

Placing it on the table, she leaves while smiling at you both.

"I assume she likes us," doyoung whispers while slurping his latte.

"don’t change the topic, doyoung. what happened?" you urge him, with your voice stern.

“have you ever thought about dating y/n?” you freeze when he asks that. Luckily, he is looking downwards, so he can’t read your expressions cause he is good at that.

“mm, why?” you start feeling anxious when he doesn’t speak.

He sighs and shakes his head, mumbling a ‘nothing’. you grow more frustrated at that.

As you swirl your fingers around the brim of your cup. Your thoughts going insane, ‘does he love someone?’ ‘is he thinking of dating?’ ‘am I too late to confess?’ you feel your eyes brimming with nervous tears. You face away from him when he looks at you.

“Y/n, I wanted to ask you something?” you look at him in the eye, and wish that he won’t notice your wet eyes. He slowly takes your hands in his, his thumb gently brushing over your fingers. He looks down and takes a breath.

“I want you to keep quiet and let me finish, ok?” you nod at him, not speaking anything cause you know he will pick up your emotions from the tone of your voice. He sighs and moves closer to you.

“y/n, I have- I have, um, I realize we have only known each other for a year, but this one year has been the best year of my existence. I have never laughed so frequently in my life. I’m grateful for everything you have done for me and- and just- I am just grateful for this friendship. Listen, I hope this doesn’t sound too sudden. And I hope nothing changes in our relationship after this. But- I-” he halts and takes a deep breath. You instinctively hold his hand tight as you predict his next sentence. Your tears threaten to pour as you shut your eyes in order to hold them back. Your heart thuds in your ribcage and you pant. You glance at the ground to avoid breaking down in front of him as he tells you about his girlfriend. You hear him let out an unsteady sigh and-

“y/n I Love You!”

You couldn’t stop the tears that gushed out from your eyes. You sink back on the backrest and cover your face with your hands and cry your heart out. Your cries fill the cafe as everyone becomes silent and looks at you. You cry louder as you realize he likes you back, your best friend likes you back, doyoung loves you.

On the other hand, Doyoung panics when you cry, he loses his calm when you cry louder. His eyes swell with tears as he thinks that he fucked up royally to make you cry like this. He knew it was a terrible decision. He knew you didn’t like him back, but he still took the risk and ended up making you cry. You got emotional easily but never had you cried so loudly as you did now. He avoids the pointed stares of the people who scowl at him for making a girl cry like that and goes down on his knees towards your chair. He tries to hold your hand but you just tighten them on your face. His tears fall as he holds the armrest of your seat and turns you towards him. Gently but firmly he removes your hand from your face and his heart shatters when he looks at your tear filled face. He feels a pang of guilt in his heart. What was he expecting? you evidently didn’t love him back? He holds your hands and starts crying with you. The people around both of you watch this scene unfold, some looking annoyed and some watching with pity.

“I’m very sorry y/n,” he sniffs “I didn’t mean to make you cry,” his voice is heavy as he swallows hard. “I don’t know what I was thinking when I said that” he gulps again, “you clearly don’t love me-“ you cut him off as you slap him. His left cheek stings as his face falls. The people in the cafe gasp. doyoung looks down as the realization dawns over him. ‘he screwed up, he ruined everything’.

“stand up” your voice is small but commanding and he obeys. He looks down as he gets up.

“look at me” and he obeys but gasps when you kiss him hard on his lips. You are holding the collars of his black shirt with which you pull him closer towards you. A loud cheer fills the cafe and the people shout and scream while watching this dramatic scene unfold in front of their eyes. He comes back into reality and pulls you closer and kisses you back passionately, erupting an even louder cheer from the audience. You wrap your arms around his neck and his arms take their place on your waist. You both kiss as if you were waiting for this - which was also true.

You both pull away and break into laughter. The surrounding people are smiling, some are even taking videos. The couples peck each other, the old barista smiles widely and her eyes shine in adoration.

“so does this mean…”

“yes” you respond with a wide smile adorning your face. doyoung brings his hand to cup your cheek.

“from how long?”

“a year,” you say, making him smile. “what about you?”

“one year too”

“so I guess we both are idiots?” you ask, chuckling.

“hmm”

“you are late. But I will forgive you for that if you agree to be my boyfriend.” he chuckles at that.

“deal” he asks and pulls you closer.

You bring your palm to cup his left cheek. “does it hurt?” you ask, and he nods whispering ‘badly’ near your cheek. “I’m sorry,” you say and pull away to look in his eyes to show your honesty.

“It’s fine. You can make it up to me,” he says, pulling you closer again.

“how?” you ask.

“kiss me,” he says and you don’t waste a single second more to kiss him feverishly.

the cheers roar loudly, again.

love...

© Jaykayblr – Do not copy or translate my work.

[x0401x]

Jeweler Richard Fanbook Short Story #6

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Moonstone’s Charity

“The moon is beautiful, huh!”

By the time that we exited the Shiseido Parlor, it was already completely dark outside. The moon loomed a faint blue, as if overlooking the night view of Ginza. Putting his coat back on, Richard silently averted his eyes when I looked back at him with an “isn’t it”. At any rate, I had gotten wholly used to eating out with this guy on Saturdays after work. It was worth making him puddings as payback, I thought.

“Speaking of which, the stone you sold to today’s customers was a ‘stone of the moon’, wasn’t it?”

“Please call it ‘moonstone’. There are other rock specimens that are referred to as ‘stones of the moon’. Confusing the meaning of the words is deplorable.”

“Is that so?! Aight, I’ll take it to heart.”

Today’s customers were the parents of a naïve young lady, and the goods they bought were a moonstone jewelry set for her. It seemed that the young lady, who still had childish facial traits, was going to get married, so her parents ordered a necklace from Etranger for her to take along when the time came. Bearing a rainbow light over a milky blue color, the cabochon-cut moonstone was combined with white diamonds for the necklace and bracelet. It overflowed with a soulful beauty, almost as if it had borrowed the glow of an aurora from a Scandinavian sky.

Apparently, the moonstone, which was also one of the June birthstones, had been familiarized as a power stone since the distant past, and was renowned especially as a stone that celebrated the well-being and fortune of women. Having the commemorative jewelry delivered to her as a surprise, the young lady had cried until her eyes were bright red, but she recovered by way of a sweet royal milk tea, expressing gratitude to her parents with a sniffling nose. I believed that there were several forms of joy depending on each person, and what I had witnessed today was unmistakably one of them.

Even as we headed to the parking lot where Richard’s jaguar was, the moon followed us from the gaps between the buildings. As I walked while looking up and repeating, “It’s really pretty, so pretty”, Richard seemed exasperated.

“‘The moon is beautiful’, huh. Are college students not familiar with anecdotes of their own country’s literary figures nowadays?”

“Don’t they read that stuff? I’m in the faculty of economics, so there’s lots of people with names written in horizontal characters on our textbooks. Like Marx Weber or Mankiw.”

“What about Futabatei Shimei or Natsume Souseki?”

“I’ll ask you back: have you read them?”

“Yes.”

Uwah. As I cried out, the gorgeous jeweler sighed. “Honestly, today’s youths,” he said.

I ended up laughing at him without thinking.

“What is it?”

“You say ‘youths’ but you’re pretty young yourself.”

“I merely disagree with the worldwide trend of thinking that classical literature is an enjoyment for old age. The world, matured by the various interpretations of our ancestors, is deep and wide-ranging, as well as something that envelopes our hearts, just like stones.”

“Feels like the part where stones come up is ‘just as expected of Richard-san’.”

“I will take that as a compliment.”

“I am complimenting you. I have the feeling that I get smarter when we talk.”

“For you to be the kind who is satisfied with just ‘having a feeling’, my existence must be a harmful one.”

“I shall take this to heart... Aah, by the way, in sociology or some other class, I heard that the phrase ‘had a feeling’ has increased too much in pop music. Why is that? I guess it’s because, when they assert, ‘I can be strong!’ instead of, ‘I have the feeling I can be strong, I find myself inwardly wanting to retort with a, ‘Nope, nope, it’s not like that’ and the mood cools off.”

“Unfortunately, I have not studied the trends of modern Japan’s younglings. But if we are to speak of such things, even the power invoked by stones is a matter of ‘having a feeling’.”

“Is it okay for a jeweler to be saying that?”

“We are already out of business hours. Besides, this is not a negative subject in particular.”

Having arrived at the parking lot, Richard glanced at me and folded his arms lightly. He was a beautiful man from the top of his head to the tips of his toenails, like a doll made of moonlight. I was used to looking at his figure, but beautiful things will be beautiful. I could look at him without ever getting tired and it would put me in a good mood, just like the moon.

“W-What? What’s up?”

“I mean that people can become strong just from ‘having a feeling’. The power of belief is namely the force of human beings who seek hope even in a small gleam. Is that not a wonderful thing? On nights like these, when we ‘have the feeling’ that we are being protected by the light of the moon, people are sure to be in some sort of calm mood.” Saying this, as if to copy me or something, Richard looked up at the night sky above the buildings of Ginza and murmured, “The moon is truly beautiful.” He then smoothly got on the jaguar’s driver seat. I followed him on the passenger seat.

Still, this car’s seat base did an exquisite inclination no matter how many times I sat on it. It felt like a chair sticking to your body.

“Well, are you okay with dropping off at Takadanobaba?”

“Thank you. By the way, should I reply with the ‘I could die now’ already?”

Richard’s face at that moment was a spectacle. His mouth and beautiful eyebrows distorted as if to say, “Haah?”. His eyes stared dangerously at me.

“I mean, isn’t that the context? Futabate Shimei and Natsume Souseki, right?”

“I love you”.

Apparently, the literary masters of the Meiji Era had racked their brains about to how to translate a sentence that didn’t originally exist in the Japanese language. This would be a standard drinking party talk. Well, I didn’t know if there was a standard for all kinds of drinking parties, but just recently, during a drinking party we held with a group of men from the Department of Letter’s Faculty of Japanese Literature, we got fired-up over that topic. “Girls like this kind of talk, so you guys from the Faculty of Economics should also keep it in mind every once in a while,” they told us. Futabate Shimei used “I could die now” as a code for “I am yours” and Natsume Souseki used the anecdote “the moon is beautiful, isn’t it” as what was claimed to be a good anecdote for “I love you”. We were thankful for the trivia. That being said, none of the members who attended the drinking party had girlfriends, so I had thought there would be no opportunity to use this trivia, but to my surprise...

Richard, who had been stiff for a moment, exhaled with a loud “haaah” and turned the engine key. The body of the iron machine shuddered.

“That was terrifying.”

“So even you got freaked out! I can say some Japanese-like things too.”

“I will proceed to kick you if you say the same thing again. Be quiet for the time being.” Richard pulled the car out of the parking lot from backward, and as he stepped onto the accelerator and we got out into the street, the car trundled on with us in silence for a while. After we had passed four or five buildings, the beautiful jeweler opened his mouth again, “These words are not meant to be spoken lightly. A sentence taken out of context is like a lonely stone removed from a bracelet. In what kind of situation did people say, ‘The moon is beautiful’ or under what circumstances did they think, ‘I could die now’? What matters is the process until things arrived to that point, and not scraps of words. In the past, during the times when the people of this country were not as filled with imported mentalities as they are now, they probably understood this very well.”

“Hey, why’d you think of reading Natsume Souseki?”

Richard didn’t respond. I’d known for a while now that there were lots of things this guy didn’t want to answer, but his silence at the question was unexpected. Was something up?

Something related to moments when he might feel like saying things such as “the moon is beautiful” or “I could die now”.

It was clearly not a topic that I should pry too much about. Pretending to have found something interesting out the window, I put on a smile with no particular connotation. Leaning my body against the window, I looked up at the sky. “Ah, I can still see the moon.”

“You do not say. Is it beautiful?”

“Yup, but you’re more beautiful.”

Richard’s hand instantaneously glided in a swift motion. He pressed the car stereo switch. What played at an explosively loud volume wasn’t the Finnish rock that I had listened to before. It was a sutra in an ethnic-sounding female voice. That was all I could say. What was this? As I asked in a loud voice what language that song was in, he said it was Bengali. Was it an Indian song then? I couldn’t talk to him unless I shouted in one breath.

“HEY! IF I PISSED YOU OFF, SERIOUSLY, I’M SORRY!”

Richard’s mouth moved in the form of an “I cannot hear you”. It seemed he wasn’t in the mood for conversation. But he didn’t look angry. The corners of his lips were smiling just slightly. Like he wanted to say that this was so stupid it made him laugh. He appeared a lot more relaxed than when listing up the names of those literary figures, so I became kinda happy.

When I got out of the car, the southern country atmosphere was gone at once. At the roundabout in Takadanobaba, Richard took off with the jaguar as soon as he said goodbye. As the same old habit, for whatever reason, I ended up watching him off until I couldn’t see him anymore.

As I looked up the blue moon was floating in the black sky, unchanged. This was also a matter of “having a feeling”, but this emotion I was feeling today at this moment was a definite form of happiness too.

Honestly, the moon was beautiful tonight.

[bulletballet-arch]

REALLY LONG  CHARACTER  SURVEY. RULES. repost ,   don’t  reblog !    tag 10 ! good  luck ! TAGGED. I took this from Minnie’s archived Bioshock blog. I’ve been looking for this meme all this month. TAGGING. @hammurabicomplex. @bluuxriising. @ Me - for Sal on @bulletsoverbensonhurst​. @immaterialed (charlie) @soypeor (bella) @svmmercmance​. @mrflayed. and you!

BASICS. FULL  NAME :  Eve Delores Littlejohn NICKNAME : Evie, Little Evie (by her maternal side of the family), Delores, Didi NAME  MEANING / S  Eve is from the ancient Hebrew name  חַוָּה (Chawwah), which was derived from the Hebrew word חָוָה (chawah) meaning "to breathe" or the related word חָיָה (chayah) meaning "to live". Delores is a variant of Dolores, meaning "sorrows", taken from the Spanish title of the Virgin Mary María de los Dolores, meaning "Mary of Sorrows." Littlejohn is a surname that has historically been found in England and Scotland. With potential origins being either ‘to distinguish a beloved child that was not the eldest.’ Or, ‘a contradictory nickname for a large man.’ HISTORICAL  CONNECTION? : She’s named after her grandmother, Evelyn Hollins.

AGE : 42 BIRTHDAY :  June 2 ETHNIC  GROUP : Black-American. Meaning she’s mixed with a lot (Some of her relatives are respectively Creole and Italian) but uses Black as a catch-all term. NATIONALITY :  American LANGUAGE / S : English, Italian, Spanish, Latin, some French SEXUAL  ORIENTATION :   Bisexual ROMANTIC  ORIENTATION :  Biromantic RELATIONSHIP  STATUS : Verse dependent, usually married -or connected- to Salvatore Scozzari in some way. CLASS : Upper-Class HOME  TOWN / AREA :   Brooklyn. Spent time between Bedford-Stuyvesant - with her paternal grandfather and Park Slope - with her maternal grandparents.  CURRENT  HOME : In her childhood home in Bedford-Stuyvesant. PROFESSION : Ballet Instructor. Former Professional Ballerina. ( Other verses see her as a professional thief. )

PHYSICAL. HAIR : Black. In terms of her natural hair, Eve has springy, 3C hair she seldom shows off because she was raised in a family where straightened hair was deemed presentable and professional.  EYES : Thin almond eyes. Dark brown. NOSE : Straight and small. FACE :  She has a prominent, high forehead, that’s accented with high cheekbones and a pointy chin. LIPS :  Full. COMPLEXION : She has a light brown (tawny) complexion.  SCARS : None major. TATTOOS : None. HEIGHT : 5′4″ BUILD : Eve has a slender build. One of those people who have been small and petite since childhood. Despite this, she also stays skinny because she is obsessively conscious of the food she consumes. The older she gets the more she weighs, however. USUAL HAIR STYLE :  Her hair is cut short. Reaching her shoulders in a neat, even bob. She either curls it in a retro fashion or curls the tips. For work she wears it in a traditional, pinned bun. USUAL FACE LOOK : In public, she appears stoic for the most part. Any emotion shown (such as the length of a smile) is carefully calculated. She has to seem perfect.  USUAL  CLOTHING : Form fitting dresses. Incredibly chic and fashionable for the time. Shoes include heels - never open-toed, unless she has on stockings. Extravagant earrings. Jewelry that can include either necklaces, crosses, pearls, or dainty rings. Prone to wearing black sunglasses in public.

PSYCHOLOGY. FEAR / S : Thunderstorms, airplanes, creatures like weasels, snakes and ferrets, break-ins, men she doesn’t know, harm coming to her children ASPIRATION / S :  Formerly wanted to become a major [black] ballerina in the elite world of ballet, now she just wants to expose more [inner city children] to dance through her job. Personally, she wants her children to change the world in some form or fashion, too. Eve also has good ideas on improving the community, but at the moment has no idea how to go about these ideas. POSITIVE  TRAITS :  Generous, compassionate, patient, protective NEGATIVE  TRAITS : Strict, sullen, hard to read, represses her emotions, secretive MBTI :  Advocate - INFJ-T ZODIAC :  Cancer TEMPERAMENT :  Melancholic ANIMALS :  Lioness VICE / S :  Pride & Lust FAITH : Christian. Grew up Baptist, but Catholic influences have been around her since childhood. Attended a Catholic High School in Park Slope, her grandmother Evelyn was also a practicing Catholic.  GHOSTS ? : Yes and no. She feels that objects formerly owned by the deceased posses the essence of their previous owners and that they essentially live on through these pieces of property. AFTERLIFE ? : Yes. REINCARNATION ? :  No, but it’s a romantic concept. ALIENS ? : No. POLITICAL  ALIGNMENT :  Democratic ECONOMIC  PREFERENCE :  She likes being where she’s at now. But honestly, being upper class is all she’s ever known. SOCIOPOLITICAL  POSITION : Bourgeoisie, basically. The Littlejohn’s represent The Historical Black Elite.  EDUCATION  LEVEL : College level. FAMILY.

FATHER :  William ‘Bill’ Littlejohn MOTHER : Linda Littlejohn ( nee Hollins ) SIBLINGS : None EXTENDED  FAMILY : Amos Littlejohn (paternal grandfather) Liza Littlejohn (paternal grandmother) Evelyn Hollins (maternal grandmother) Giuseppe D’Aietti (maternal grandfather) and a wide host of cousins, aunts and uncles.

FAVOURITES. BOOK :  Night Song by Beverly Jenkins. The Color Purple by Alice Walker. Some sort of old, French erotic novel that was published before she was born. MOVIE : Eve watches films along the lines of...Waiting to Exhale, Beaches, The First Wives Club and Fatal Attraction. She loves Made-For-TV movies from the time period. In regards to plays, her favorite one is Sunday In The Park With George. 5  SONGS :  Meet Me On The Moon / Essence of Sapphire / No One In The World / People / The First Time I Saw Your Face  DEITY :  Persephone  HOLIDAY : New Years Eve, Christmas, Thanksgiving. Major holidays during the colder season. MONTH :  October SEASON :  Autumn PLACE :  The dance studio she works at. WEATHER : Sunny, but cool. SOUND : The voices of Anita Baker and Sarah Vaughn. A skilled hand running over piano keys. Soft trumpets. Running water. Cats making chipper little meows. SCENT / S :  Perfume, floral scented lotions, her partner’s cologne TASTE / S :  Caramel, the tang of dark chocolate, strawberries coated with either chocolate, or sprinkles of white sugar. Light Vinegar.  FEEL / S : Performing in front of an audience. Hot water engulfing your skin after a long day. Satin - whether it be the fabric of her clothes or sheets, your fingers tightly intertwined with another’s, feeling your significant other’s chest raise and lower against your skin with each breath they take. ANIMAL / S : Cocker Spaniels, Afghan Hounds, Cats, Birds - she loves all ( well, a majority ) of animals. NUMBER :  Doesn’t have one. COLOR :  White, Pink, Gold.

EXTRA. TALENTS :  Dance, Eve is trained in ballet when it comes to her main verse. She has attended ballet classes since the age of eight and ever since then she placed all of her focus into it. Similarly, Eve has always had the makings of a good artist - as a child she enjoyed drawing and had informal art lessons with a man who lived in the basement of her grandfather’s brownstone, but she never invested into that half of her. BAD AT : Singing, Being interviewed, Public Speaking (as in Speech Giving), Decision Making TURN  ONS :  Charisma, Leadership Skills, Temperature Play, Phone Sex, Heavy Kissing, Light Roleplay TURN  OFFS :  Public Sex, Tearing [ Her ] Clothes, Threesomes, Cruelty, Senseless Violence HOBBIES :  viewing plays & some musicals, reading romance novels, shopping, working out (she was into the whole celebrity VHS tape exercise trend), playing tennis, decorating AESTHETIC :  Vintage Black Glamour, Black Ballerinas, Champagne and Wine Glasses, Paintings by Melinda Byers and Edward 'Clay' Wright QUOTES :  "I'm bad with words, I hope you're good in reading eyes." / "There are truths I haven't even told God. And not even myself. I am a secret under the lock of seven keys."

FC INFO. MAIN  FC / S : Lynn Whitfield ( A Thin Line Between Love & Hate ) ALT  FC / S : Kylie Bunbury ( Twisted ) OLDER  FC / S :  Lynn Whitfield ( Greenleaf ) YOUNGER  FC / S : N/A VOICE  CLAIM / S : Lynn Whitfield

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1 :   if  you  could  write  your  character  your  way  in  their  own  movie ,   what  would  it  be  called ,  what  style  would  it  be  filmed  in ,  and  what  would  it  be  about ?       A1 : Recently I decided that if/when I try to write anything serious about Eve again, it’ll center on her being a jewel thief because it presents me more fun, and emotionally diverse, opportunities. That and I have a very specific cover image in my mind. Ideally, her adventures would be a series of books. I have no title in mind, no idea about how ‘it would be filmed’ ( although a style replicating 90s films would be excellent, film grain and all. ) but, I do have a bunch of plots in mind that I really don’t feel like typing out here.  

Q2 :   what  would  their  soundtrack / score  sound  like ?         A2 :  Her score would have a vintage sound (or a jazzy Spike Lee sound, if you will) with instrumentals by Dorothy Ashby (a Jazz Harpist) the Ahmad Jamal Trio, Pharaoh Sanders, Yusef Lateef and Tarika Blue. For music with lyrics, the soundtrack would include the likes of Julie London, Sarah Vaughn, Ella Fitzgerald, and Dionne Warwick.

Q3 :   why  did  you  start  writing  this  character ?   + Q4 :   what  first  attracted  you  to  this  character ? A3 :  Whenever I make NPCs for my character’s lives I actually can’t just let them just be NPCs. I start thinking about them too much. Developing them too much. And then I’m like, ‘wow! I really like this character!’ Eve was a different character when I began writing her, and likely wouldn’t be considered the same character as she was previously, if I told someone in real life who knows about my writing (like my grandma) about all the changes she has undergone. Originally Delores was a university professor, because I thought it could lead to interesting interactions with college-age muses. And her previous history with the mafia was also something interesting to tap in. But then I started thinking about what was realistic, what wasn’t realistic, what did I feel comfortable/interested writing? What didn’t I feel comfortable/interested in writing?  So as time went on, things would alter about this character. And the new things I came up with attracted me more. 

Q5 :   describe  the  biggest  thing  you  dislike  about  your  muse.         A5 :  I have a love/hate relationship with Eve’s quiet demeanor. On one hand, I think quieter characters need love and the ability to be fully dimensional but on the other hand, writing louder characters has always been more fun for me. But really, Eve’s guarded behavior makes writing her stressful in some cases with others because sometimes...if I’m going to be honest...people don’t know how to carry a thread and interact with someone of her demeanor effectively. 

Q6 :   what  do  you  have  in  common  with  your  muse ?       A6 : We’re both black, we’re both into art (although our exact interests and aesthetics with art differ)

Q7 :   how  does  your  muse  feel  about  you ?         A7 : Realistically she would think I need to take better care of myself.

Q8 :   what  characters  does  your  muse  have  interesting  interactions with ?   A8 :  We skippin’ this question.

Q9 :   what  gives  you  inspiration  to  write  your  muse ?       A9 : Films such as, “Waiting to Exhale,” “The Kitchen” and “Widows.” Books by Alice Walker, like “The Third Life of Grange Copeland” as well as her short story, “Roselily.” The historical mob figure Stephanie St. Clair.

Q10 :   how  long  did  this  take  you  to  complete ?       A10 : A few hours.

[sweeethinny]

Hi! Please write a sequel to the prompt “I actually wanted to get your number…” Maybe a story about them at the ball?? or the first kiss?? Pleasseee do write it I love that story so much!! Its so good!!<333

Hi anon, first of all, thank you so much, i never think of writting a sequel to this prompt, but this was very fun! Second of all, i hope you like it! Thanks to discord for helping me not get lost in my ideas, and thanks to @prongsdamnyou for reading this :) --------

07:15 PM

Harry was so anxious that he might explode into millions of pieces, so nervous that his hands were sweating as if it were hot than in a desert. He had already fixed the tie, the suit, and the flower on his chest, more times than he remembered, not knowing whether he sat on the chair or stood up and tried to see it over the other heads. Was she wearing a white dress? Green? Red? Harry didn't know, and could barely imagine, everything looking very poor in his imagination, knowing that she would look even better knowing she would look even better in real life

She asked them to meet at the ball, said something about her older brother being at her house and that she didn't want to stress out before a fun night. Harry didn't interfere, he had a younger sister, and Aurora never let him know about her male friends, even though he didn't care much.

They talked a lot during the past few days, both in person and on the internet, and Harry thought she had never smiled so much when she sat with him and they talked for hours. Last week, she convinced him to skip the last class of the day - home economics, from the most boring teacher Harry knew, Snape - so they could go to an old amusement park that had been closed for years. She jumped the walls with an ease that Harry was impressed with.

They almost kissed, but her phone rang and she had to run home, apologizing for having to leave him. But Harry hoped that today might be the day.

The court was all decorated and almost full of students, pop songs played on the speakers and some couples started dancing, but most were just talking, sitting at the tables they had reserved. Some still seemed to be waiting for the rest of their friends, which made Harry feel more relaxed.

He was still sitting alone, anxious, waiting for Ginny. But neither she nor Luna had arrived, so there was hope.

07:55 PM

Most couples were already formed, but Harry wanted to think that Ginny had an unforeseen event, but it was already coming.

She wasn't going to leave him there… was she? She was so nice and kind to him, there was no reason to do that. Besides, he overheard her commenting to friends that they were going together, which meant it wasn't a prank or anything.

Even so, Harry felt a little more nervous. The dance would end between 10 and 10:30, which meant that they wouldn't have as much time to dance as Harry had planned, and maybe her parents didn't want her to be late to return home, which would steal even more time together.…

He looked again at the watch on his wrist. She would be here soon.

He sighed, chin resting on his hand as he rolled the jasmine he had pinned to the breast of the suit, between the fingers of his other hand. Ginny hadn't told him the color of the dress for him, so Harry just assumed that jasmine was the best option. She smelled like jasmine.

08:45 PM 

When the romantic songs started, Harry ran away from the school and hid among the trees in the nearby park, embarrassed at being abandoned. Ashamed and sad.

He took his phone out of his pocket, viewing the latest messages that Ginny hadn't received, asking if she was coming.

Maybe he should go back to the house, but he felt almost unable to get out under that tree, feeling even a little miserable, looking at the unanswered messages.

She should be with her real partner, and he should be a lot better than Harry.

Leaning against the trunk of the tree, he watched the starry sky and the wind moving all the leaves nearby. It had been a tremendous mistake to have agreed to go to that ball, and Aurora was right - even if she was only ten - it seemed almost impossible for Ginny to be interested in Harry.

She was the most beautiful girl he knew, and she had so many friends that Harry would never be able to remember the names of all of them. Everyone knew and adored her, he often heard younger girls - even Aurora - talking about Ginny helping them during a time when they needed it. Like when he heard Cho thanking her for helping to scare Michael Corner, who seemed to be intruding to accompany her home.

Harry had been a fool to think that she might like him.

As soon as he thought about leaving, the phone vibrated in his hand, causing a feeling of anxiety so great that his eyes bulged and he almost dropped the device while trying to unlock the screen.

''Where are you? I'm waiting for you inside! :) ’’

Harry quickly got up from the floor, quickly cleaning his pants that could have been soiled by the grass and lining up the suit his mother had bought for him. Harry felt even more of an idiot, but now, a happy idiot.

It didn't make a lot of sense in his head, but it was the truth. He was more than happy that she arrived, but a little embarrassed that he thought she might be able to play with him, even after almost two weeks of talking to each other every day.

When he entered the room again, and it looked like everyone was gone and he could only see Ginny, near the drinks table, looking at the phone as if it were the most important thing.

Harry hadn't responded to her message, and maybe that was why she was like that, maybe she also thought he had abandoned her. He wanted to hit himself for making her feel that way.

‘’Hi,’’ Harry said, anxious, in a cold sweat, almost approached her. Ginny looked beautiful, even more than usual, with her hair tied up in a bun and with several clips of stars and moon, holding her silky auburn hair firmly. Two strands fell loose, framing the freckled face, and Harry thought it was the cutest and most beautiful thing. ‘’Sorry, I was... in the bathroom.’’

‘’Oh, okay, I just got here.’‘ She was taller, he realized, but still slightly lifted her chin to look at him. ‘’I had problems with my shoe, and the coach held us longer in practice, so I ended up being late. I'm sorry.'' Ginny smiled sheepishly, her brown eyes shining towards him, with delicate makeup on her eyelid.

‘’It’s really okay.’’ The two faced each other. ''Wanna Dance?''

‘‘Sure!’’ She smiled excitedly, and then, in retreat, Harry would notice that for every two weeks, Ginny always seemed to smile that way at him, as if every second together was just magnificent, and nothing less.

10:20 PM

The ball - the best of Harry's entire life - was over, but it didn't look like they both wanted to go home. Ginny said that she had told her parents that it would be over at 11 pm, and Harry would call when he was ready, so they had time.

‘’Can you do this using heels?’’ He asked, shocked to see her climb the wall as easily as when they ran away from school a few days ago.

‘’I’ve been doing this for a long time to get practice,’’ Ginny shrugged. ''Help?''

‘’No, thanks.’’ Harry went up behind her, trying not to show that it was uncomfortable to do that with a suit. ‘’So what are we going to do?’’ He jumped into the abandoned park, following her wherever she was taking them.

‘‘I don’t know, I just like coming here.’’ Ginny lifted the shiny black dress she was wearing, with lovely puffed sleeves and a complicated tie on the back. He did not know how to explain the structure of the piece, only that she looked beautiful in it. ‘’You know, it was a fun night.’’

‘’I had a good time too.’’ Harry smiled, almost looking a little silly looking at her and red lips. ‘’I thought you gave up.’’

‘’Why did you think of that?’’ They sat on the bench of an old ferris wheel, dangerously close to each other.

‘’I don’t know, I just thought,’’ He shrugged. ‘’I was just about to go home.’’

‘‘You are so dramatic.’’ Ginny laughed out loud, ruffling his hair and making a cute face. ‘’I would have come to your house and hit your window with a dozen eggs.’’

''You would not do that…''

‘’Do you doubt it?’’ She raised her eyebrow. ‘’If you had left me here alone, I would have done it without a second thought.’’

‘’I'm glad I didn’t do it then.’’

‘’Yeah… me too.’’ Ginny kept looking that way he couldn’t explain it, while Harry alternated between watching her caramel eyes and her red lips. Almost without realizing it, they approached, sitting on that old and slightly rusty toy, under a starry sky - the first after weeks - and kissed.

It was as if days, hours, centuries passed, of pure and genuine happiness that was born in the bottom of his stomach and went up all over his body, his brain swimming in all the hormones of happiness that were possible.

Yes, he was very happy to have agreed to go to the ball with her.

[artisqueer]

RetroBangBoy AU - OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE

Word Count: 1.1k

Pairings: Taehyung x reader

“Aaand—safe!” The dust settles and the crowd cheers for the player rising up from the second base, smirking. It was an easy home run, but Kim Taehyung didn’t come for easy. He came to play.

You watch him from the bleachers, awestruck with each effortless stride he takes toward third base, teasing and dodging opponents who attempt to stand in his way. Hoseok is up to bat. He swings, precisely hitting the ball and curving it up and out of sight into the sky. Not unlike all the suitors that ever laid bare their hearts to him.

Taehyung and Hoseok both strut their way through the bases until they reach home plate. The audience swoons and the remaining team rushes the diamond to celebrate their win. Pride is swelling in your chest too. Even though you’ve had many friendly encounters with your next-door neighbor, seeing him flocked by crowds in public makes you feel like complete strangers.

“CAN I GET A HOT DOG? HEY, HEY YOU. BIGHEAD BLOCKING THE VIEW!” You’re pulled from your pleasant haze. “Yeah sorry. That’ll be 25 cents.” The guy tosses a coin into the vendor tray strapped to your stomach. Does Taehyung also think my head is disproportionately colossal? you wonder.

By the time you’ve finished cleaning up at the concession stand, it’s 6:45 pm. Friday paychecks are the best and you’re excited about the weekend. Eager to get home, you take a shortcut through the campus. The hallways are empty but the lights are still on in some areas, probably for the night shift janitor.

As you pass the Fine Arts hall, you hear soft jazz music echoing from one of the classrooms. You stop in your tracks. The vibe is familiar. You follow the sound to a large workshop and poke your head inside. “Hello?”

A pair of big brown eyes appear from the top of a large table easel. “Hey, Sweetcheeks!”

“Tae, what are you doing in here?”

His eyes crinkle into smiles and he gestures for you to join him.

You’ve seen many sides to Taehyung, but never like this. His hair is slicked back exposing his prominent brows and forehead. He must have had a shower recently. He’s absent from his baseball uniform. A cigarette hangs from his lips.

You sit on the empty stool beside him. He turns his body back to the canvas, studying his work. You study his side profile before speaking. “Won’t you get in trouble for smoking?”

He chuckles, “I don’t light it, Sweetcheeks. It’s just for the look.”

He motions toward the canvas. “Will you give me your opinion?”

You reluctantly look away from the art that is Taehyung and turn to his creation. A wild horse grazing in tall grass beside a river, cumulus clouds lining the unfinished blue sky above it.

“Wow, Taehyung! Your painting…it’s—" You are speechless. Can he be so talented?

He gets shy all of a sudden. Cig bobbing up and down in his mouth as his fidgets with his paint-speckled fingers. “You can be honest, I know I need improvement.”

“No, Tae. This is so beautiful. Really.” You look at him, this time overflowing with pride. He is the real masterpiece.

He looks back at you, serious. Devilishly handsome. His hair is beginning to dry and a stray strand hangs over his brow. Head empty. You lift a hand to sweep it back before stopping yourself. “Sorry.”

His serious face turns amused again at your flushed reaction. He removes the smoke from his lips and closes the space between you. You brace yourself for a kiss. Instead, he goes around to your right ear. He whispers, “I’d like to ask your permission for something…” His hot breath against your cold ear sends chills up your sides. “…may I paint you?”

What should you say? Paint me, please.

You nod, giving him consent.

A week had passed since your evening still life session with Taehyung. You hadn’t seen him at your apartment or campus. It was unusual. To be honest, you were starting to get a bad feeling.

Did he play a cruel joke on you? You were overthinking and getting doubts about everything. Everything about your life made sense. He was way out of your league.

Each evening, you would take the shortcut through campus, holding your breath to listen for the soft jazz music.

Each evening, the halls were silent.

It was Monday already. The weekend had wasted away, distracting yourself with your friends.

What’s wrong? they had asked. Nothing, you had answered them.

You wanted to ask them for advice. But doing that meant exposing yourself as a fool. Not hearing from Taehyung for almost two weeks was beginning to confirm your worst fear.

“…please turn to page 30 in your texts. Beauvoir is criticizing patriarchal oppression by drawing on the “myth of the Woman”….to illustrate the weaponization of economic power to explain how inferior groups are fundamentally dependent on the gender and racial hierarchies forged by western patriarchy. She argues that today, in the 1950s, our definitions of love, gender roles, and femininity are social constru—”

“Excuse me, Professor. Sorry to interrupt, there’s a delivery for one of your students.”

The lecture hall erupts in murmurs as the office clerk brings the flat package and flowers up to your desk.

“Um, who is this from?” You take the package from the clerk.

“Don’t know, you probably have a secret admirer.” He lays the bouquet of purple and white wildflowers on your desk and leaves.

Your friends jab at your side to open the big package. You don’t want to make more noise in class, so you tear the paper quietly. The professor has continued lecturing, meanwhile, the whole class is breaking their necks to see what it is.

You lean down over the gift, obscuring the view from your nosy peers. A collective grunt ensues. You’ve removed enough paper at this point so you can make out what it is. You blink twice.

“Whoa, did you draw that?” Another friend elbows them. “Dumbass, how could they make that if it was just delivered?”

A smile grows on your face as you bubble with tears. Your eyes drift over the soft brush-strokes, blending, and colors. Your every mole captured. Light bouncing off your every curve. How Kim Taehyung sees you. Bare and beautiful.

You spot a small note inside the bouquet that reads:

Sorry I took so long, Sweetcheeks. I appreciate art. KTH.

To be continued...

[robertreich]

The System: Who Rigged It, How We Fix It 

The coronavirus has starkly revealed what most of us already knew: The concentration of wealth in America has created a a health care system in which the wealthy can buy care others can't. 

It’s also created an education system in which the super-rich can buy admission to college for their children, a political system in which they can buy Congress and the presidency,  and a justice system in which they can buy their way out of jail. 

Almost everyone else has been hurled into a dystopia of bureaucratic arbitrariness, corporate indifference, and the legal and financial sinkholes that have become hallmarks of modern American life. The system is rigged. But we can fix it. Today, the great divide in American politics isn’t between right and left. The underlying contest is between a small minority who have gained power over the system, and the vast majority who have little or none. 

Forget politics as you’ve come to see it -- as contests between Democrats and Republicans. The real divide is between democracy and oligarchy.

The market has been organized to serve the wealthy. Since 1980, the percentage of the nation’s wealth owned by the richest four hundred Americans has quadrupled (from less than 1 percent to 3.5 percent) while the share owned by the entire bottom half of America has dropped to 1.3 percent.

The three wealthiest Americans own as much as the entire bottom half of the population. Big corporations, CEOs, and a handful of extremely rich people have vastly more influence on public policy than the average American. Wealth and power have become one and the same. As the oligarchs tighten their hold over our system, they have lambasted efforts to rein in their greed as “socialism”, which, to them, means getting something for doing nothing.

But “getting something for doing nothing” seems to better describe the handouts being given to large corporations and their CEOs. 

General Motors, for example, has received $600 million in federal contracts and $500 million in tax breaks since Donald Trump took office. Much of this “corporate welfare” has gone to executives, including CEO Mary Barra, who raked in almost $22 million in compensation in 2018 alone. GM employees, on the other hand, have faced over 14,000 layoffs and the closing of three assembly plants and two component factories.

And now, in the midst of a pandemic, big corporations are getting $500 billion from taxpayers. 

Our system, it turns out, does practice one form of socialism -- socialism for the rich. Everyone else is subject to harsh capitalism.

Socialism for the rich means people at the top are not held accountable. Harsh capitalism for the many, means most Americans are at risk for events over which they have no control, and have no safety nets to catch them if they fall.

Among those who are particularly complicit in rigging the system are the CEOs of America’s corporate behemoths. 

Take Jamie Dimon, the CEO of JPMorgan Chase, whose net worth is $1.4 billion. He comes as close as anyone to embodying the American system as it functions today.

Dimon describes himself as “a patriot before I’m the CEO of JPMorgan.” He brags about the corporate philanthropy of his bank, but it’s a drop in the bucket compared to his company’s net income, which in 2018 was $30.7 billion -- roughly one hundred times the size of his company's investment program for America’s poor cities. 

Much of JP Morgan’s income gain in 2018 came from savings from the giant Republican tax cut enacted at the end of 2017 -- a tax cut that Dimon intensively lobbied Congress for.

Dimon doesn’t acknowledge the inconsistencies between his self-image as “patriot first” and his role as CEO of America’s largest bank. He doesn’t understand how he has hijacked the system.

Perhaps he should read my new book.

To understand how the system has been hijacked, we must understand how it went from being accountable to all stakeholders -- not just stockholders but also workers, consumers, and citizens in the communities where companies are headquartered and do business -- to intensely shareholder-focused capitalism.

In the post-WWII era, American capitalism assumed that large corporations had responsibilities to all their stakeholders. CEOs of that era saw themselves as “corporate statesmen” responsible for the common good.

But by the 1980s, shareholder capitalism (which focuses on maximizing profits) replaced stakeholder capitalism. That was largely due to the corporate raiders -- ultra-rich investors who hollowed-out once-thriving companies and left workers to fend for themselves.

Billionaire investor Carl Icahn, for example, targeted major companies like Texaco and Nabisco by acquiring enough shares of their stock to force major changes that increased their stock value -- such as suppressing wages, fighting unions, laying off workers, abandoning communities for cheaper labor elsewhere, and taking on debt -- and then selling his shares for a fat profit. In 1985, after winning control of Trans World Airlines, he loaded the airline with more than $500 million in debt, stripped it of its assets, and pocketed nearly $500 million in profits.

As a result of the hostile takeovers mounted by Icahn and other raiders, a wholly different understanding about the purpose of the corporation emerged.

Even the threat of hostile takeovers forced CEOs to fall in line by maximizing shareholder profits over all else. The corporate statesmen of previous decades became the corporate butchers of the 1980s and 1990s, whose nearly exclusive focus was to “cut out the fat” and make their companies “lean and mean.”

As power increased for the wealthy and large corporations at the top, it shifted in exactly the opposite direction for workers. In the mid-1950s, 35 percent of all private-sector workers in the United States were unionized. Today, 6.4 percent of them are.

The wave of hostile takeovers pushed employers to raise profits and share prices by cutting payroll costs and crushing unions, which led to a redistribution of income and wealth from workers to the richest 1 percent. Corporations have fired workers who try to organize and have mounted campaigns against union votes. All the while, corporations have been relocating to states with few labor protections and so-called “right-to-work” laws that weaken workers’ ability to join unions.

Power is a zero-sum game. People gain it only when others lose it. The connection between the economy and power is critical. As power has concentrated in the hands of a few, those few have grabbed nearly all the economic gains for themselves.

The oligarchy has triumphed because no one has paid attention to the system as a whole – to the shifts from stakeholder to shareholder capitalism, from strong unions to giant corporations with few labor protections, and from regulated to unchecked finance.

As power has shifted to large corporations, workers have been left to fend for themselves. Most Americans developed 3 key coping mechanisms to keep afloat.

The first mechanism was women entering the paid workforce. Starting in the late 1970s, women went into paid work in record numbers, in large part to prop up family incomes, as the wages of male workers stagnated or declined. 

Then, by the late 1990s, even two incomes wasn’t enough to keep many families above water, causing them to turn to the next coping mechanism: working longer hours. By the mid-2000s a growing number of people took on two or three jobs, often demanding 50 hours or more per week.

Once the second coping mechanism was exhausted, workers turned to their last option: drawing down savings and borrowing to the hilt. The only way Americans could keep consuming was to go deeper into debt. By 2007, household debt had exploded, with the typical American household owing 138 percent of its after-tax income. Home mortgage debt soared as housing values continued to rise. Consumers refinanced their homes with even larger mortgages and used their homes as collateral for additional loans.

This last coping mechanism came to an abrupt end in 2008 when the debt bubbles burst, causing the financial crisis. Only then did Americans begin to realize what had happened to them, and to the system as a whole. That’s when our politics began to turn ugly.  

So what do we do about it? The answer is found in politics and rooted in power.

The way to overcome oligarchy is for the rest of us to join together and form a multiracial, multiethnic coalition of working-class, poor and middle-class Americans fighting for democracy.

This agenda is neither “right” nor “left.” It is the bedrock for everything America must do.

The oligarchy understands that a “divide-and-conquer” strategy gives them more room to get what they want without opposition. Lucky for them, Trump is a pro at pitting native-born Americans against immigrants, the working class against the poor, white people against people of color. His goal is cynicism, disruption, and division. Trump and the oligarchy behind him have been able to rig the system and then whip around to complain loudly that the system is rigged.

But history shows that oligarchies cannot hold on to power forever. They are inherently unstable. When a vast majority of people come to view an oligarchy as illegitimate and an obstacle to their wellbeing, oligarchies become vulnerable.

As bad as it looks right now, the great strength of this country is our resilience. We bounce back. We have before. We will again.

In order for real change to occur -- in order to reverse the vicious cycle in which we now find ourselves -- the locus of power in the system will have to change.

The challenge we face is large and complex, but we are well suited for the fight ahead. Together, we will dismantle the oligarchy. Together, we will fix the system.

[mascbi]

(This is a copy of a post made on the original mascbi tumblr, now deactivated, on December 4th 2019)

Updated results on my bisexual survey.

My survey on bisexuality and biphobia is still running - but responses have dried up for long enough that I felt it was time to go through the kind of tedious process of counting them up all over again and seeing what’s changed.

Overwhelmingly: not much. I’ve edited quite a few of the percentages of answers, but it’s mostly 1 or 2% differences - I think I noticed maybe one answer where I had to change a percentage by 3%.

I won’t repeat here my several disclaimers that you can find on my previous post detailing responses, so you can read them there instead.

The survey will continue to run indefinitely so that people may be able to review the answers and their wording freely outside of these posts (turning the survey off would disable viewing of answers).

1. Demographics

A majority of the respondents were older teens or adults, with the main age demographics being 20 to 25 (44%) and 16 to 19 (36%). 12% of respondents were aged 26 to 35. 6% were 13 to 15. About 2% were over 35. No respondents were under 13.

Most respondents have identified as bisexual for 2 to 10 years: 27% for 3 to 5 years, 25% from 5 to 10 years, and 22% from 2 to 3 years. 10% have identified as bisexual for 6 months to a year, 5% for less than 6 months, and 1% have identified as bisexual for a month or less. 8% have identified as bisexual for 10 to 20 years, and 1% for more than 20 years.

46% of respondents identified as women. 13% identified as men. 14% identify as nonbinary and female-aligned. 8% identified as nonbinary and male-aligned. 17% of respondents identified as nonbinary and unaligned or multi-gendered. The remaining participants indicated identifying as neither women, men, nor nonbinary, which included people with genders other than woman or man who didn’t use the term nonbinary, people questioning or unsure of their gender, and people with culturally specific genders who did not identify as nonbinary.

50% of respondents identified as cisgender. 35% identify as transgender. 15% identify as neither (the survey specified that this option was only for non-binary people who don’t identify as cisgender nor transgender, and does not account for cisgender people who don’t like the word cisgender).

97% of respondents indicated they were not intersex. 2% preferred not to say whether they were intersex. 1% of respondents indicated they were intersex.

72% of respondents are white. Other ethnicities include people mixed with white (16%), Asian people (all parts of Asia confounded, 11%, with smaller percentages based on the region), Black people (6%), ethnically Jewish people (6%), Native Americans (4%), and people uncertain of their ethnic background (2%). 2% of respondents identified their ethnicity as latine, hispanic, or mestizo/a. Other percentages were under 1%.

12% of respondents identified as hispanic or latine.

30% of respondents are middle class. 25% are low income/working class. 22% are lower middle class. 14% are upper middle class. 4% of respondents live in poverty. Less than 1% of respondents are upper class. 4% preferred not to indicate their economic background or weren’t sure of what they’d qualify as.

20% of respondents are disabled.

80% of respondents are mentally ill.

69% of respondents live in North America. 22% live in Europe. 5% live in Oceania. 2% live in South America. 2% live in Asia. Less than 1% live in Africa. Less than 1% live in the Caribbean.

2. Defining bisexuality.

When asked to define bisexuality in general (multiple possible answers per respondent): 49% of respondents define bisexuality as attraction to all genders. 46% define it as attraction to multiple genders. 42% define it as attraction to one’s own gender and other genders. 41% define it as attraction to two or more genders. 36% define it as attraction regardless of gender. 11% define it as attraction to both sexes. 10% define it as attraction to two genders. 6% of respondents didn’t have a clear definition of bisexuality. 1% of respondents indicated other definitions

When asked to define their bisexuality specifically: 42% of respondents defined their bisexuality as attraction to all genders. 33% defined it as attraction regardless of gender. 28% defined it as attraction to one’s own gender and others. 25% defined it as attraction to multiple genders. 19% defined it as attraction to two or more genders. 9% defined it as attraction to both sexes. 5% defined it as attraction to two genders. 5% of respondents didn’t have a clear definition of their own bisexuality. 4% of respondents gave other definitions of their own bisexuality.

More than 99% of respondents believe that bisexual people can be attracted to binary transgender people. More than 99% of respondents believe that bisexual people can be attracted to nonbinary people.

90% of respondents do not believe that all bisexual people have a gender preference. 64% of respondents believe that all bisexual people experience attraction to different genders in different ways.

81% of respondents indicate they are attracted to all genders.

For respondents who were not attracted to all genders:

19% of respondents indicate being attracted to women. 18% of respondents indicate being attracted to men. 12% of respondents indicate being attracted to female-aligned nonbinary people. 11% of respondents indicate being attracted to male-aligned nonbinary people. 10% of respondents indicate being attracted to unaligned nonbinary people. 7% of respondents indicate being attracted to genderless or multi-gendered people. 2% of respondents indicate different gender-specific attraction, such as attraction to anyone who isn’t a cis man, or having a difficulty to answer due to not being sure or not knowing enough nonbinary people.

When asked about having a preference for one or more genders over others: 38% of respondents indicated having a preference for women. 35% of respondents indicated they do not have a preference based on gender. 26% of respondents indicated a preference for men. 25% of respondents indicated a preference for female-aligned nonbinary people. 20% of respondents indicated a preference for male-aligned nonbinary people. 18% of respondents indicated a preference for unaligned nonbinary people. 14% of respondents indicated a preference for genderless or multi-gendered people. 5% of respondents indicated their preference fluctuates, they have a preference based on presentation, they have a preference for people who are not cis, or they are uncertain of their preference, and other personal answers.

79% of respondents indicated they feel attraction differently based on gender. 21% indicated they do not.

3. Relationship to the LGBT+ community.

96% of respondents consider themselves part of the LGBT+ community. 4% do not.

When asked about their presence in real-life LGBT+ spaces: 40% of respondents have participated in one or a few LGBT+ events, but don’t have a regular presence in real-life LGBT+ spaces. 37% of respondents have not participated in LGBT+ real-life spaces but have several LGBT+ real-life friends. 14% of respondents are present and active in real-life LGBT+ spaces. 6% of respondents have not participated in real-life LGBT+ spaces and don’t have real-life LGBT+ friends. 3% of respondents gave other answers, many citing inability to participate in real-life LGBT+ spaces due to a lack of local LGBT+ events or living in homophobic areas.

When asked about their presence in online LGBT+ spaces: 50% of respondents follow/read/participate in a few LGBT+ online spaces but don’t have a regular presence in them. 27% of respondents are present and active in LGBT+ online spaces. 18% of respondents don’t participate in LGBT+ online spaces but have several LGBT+ online friends. 4% of respondents don’t participate in LGBT+ online spaces and don’t have LGBT+ online friends. Less than 1% of respondents gave a different answer - most weren’t sure of what constitutes an online LGBT+ spaces.

When asked about their relationship to the LGBT+ community (not repeated but also indicated at this question: percentage of people who do not identify as LGBT+): 37% of respondents feel strong solidarity with all of the LGBT+ community. 30% of respondents feel some solidarity with all of the LGBT+ community. 24% of respondents feel strong solidarity with some groups of the LGBT+ community, but not all. 7% of respondents don’t feel a strong solidarity with the rest of the LGBT+ community.

When asked if they feel a stronger sense of community with some parts of the LGBT+ community: 26% of respondents feel the same sense of community with all of the LGBT+ community.

51% of respondents feel a stronger sense of community with transgender people. 49% of respondents feel a stronger sense of community with nonbinary people. 44% of respondents feel a stronger sense of community with lesbians. 25% of respondents feel a stronger sense of community with gay men. 22% of respondents feel a stronger sense of community with pansexual/polysexual/omnisexual people. 16% of respondents feel a stronger sense of community with asexual/aromantic people. Most “other” responses included wanting to indicate a stronger sense of community with bisexual people over others (this was not an answer on the survey because it was assumed that bisexual people have community with themselves). Other “other” responses included LGBT+ people of color and intersex people.

When asked if they felt a weaker or no sense of community with some LGBT+ groups: 25% indicated they feel the same amount of community with all LGBT+ groups.

46% of respondents indicated they feel weaker or no community with asexual/aromantic people. 36% of respondents indicated they feel weaker or no community with pansexual/polysexual/omnisexual people. 28% of respondents indicated they feel weaker or no community with gay men. 16% of respondents indicated they feel weaker or no community with lesbians. 7% of respondents indicated they feel weaker or no community with nonbinary people. 5% of respondents indicated they feel weaker or no community with transgender people. 3% of respondents included other responses, with a prevalence of cisgender people (who were not an option because cisgender people are not an LGBT+ group).

When asked how they feel their bisexuality is treated in LGBT+ spaces (online or offline): 43% of respondents feel somewhat heard, respected and supported. 29% of respondents feel they are somewhat erased, disrespected or not shown support. 15% of respondents feel they are not heard, respected or supported enough. 8% of respondents feel very heard, respected and supported. 4% of respondents feel extremely erased, disrespected or not shown support. 2% of respondents gave other answers, with a prevalence for being closeted, and not talking about their bisexuality in LGBT+ spaces.

When asked about their experience of biphobia within real-life LGBT+ spaces: 52% of respondents did not have enough experience with real-life LGBT+ spaces to form an opinion. 16% of respondents have never felt biphobia in real-life LGBT+ spaces.

25% of respondents felt their bisexuality was erased. 16% have been made to feel that their acceptance in real-life LGBT+ spaces was conditional because of their bisexuality. 14% have been spoken over or shut down about their bisexuality. 9% have been insulted or mocked for their bisexuality.

2% of respondents gave other responses, including several experiences of biphobia that did not fit under the offered answers.

When asked if they had experienced biphobia in online LGBT+ spaces: 24% of respondents don’t have enough experience with online LGBT+ spaces to form an opinion. 14% of respondents have never experienced biphobia in online LGBT+ spaces.

43% of respondents have felt their bisexuality was erased in LGBT+ spaces. 31% have been made to feel that their acceptance in online LGBT+ spaces was conditional because of their bisexuality. 26% have been spoken over or shut down about their bisexuality. 20% have been mocked or insulted for their bisexuality.

4% of respondents gave other answers, including experiences of biphobia that did not fit under the offered answers.

Hundreds of respondents gave a personal answer when asked if they’d like to say more about their experiences in the LGBT+ community. A lot of these answers include talk about their experiences with biphobia and bi erasure in the LGBT+ community. These answers are available in the survey’s responses.

4. Bisexuality and biphobia outside the LGBT+ community.

When asked whether they were out as bisexual in real life: 58% of respondents are out to their close friends. 42% are out to everyone significant enough to warrant coming out to. 28% are out to siblings. 27% are out to casual friends. 25% are out to their parents. 13% are out to their coworkers or classmates. 10% are out to other family members.

13% are out online, but not in real life. 2% are not out to anyone, online or in real life.

When asked whether they were out to their significant other: 58% of respondents indicated they do not currently have a significant other. 40% of respondents have a significant other who knows they are bisexual. 1% of respondents have a significant other and are not out to them as bisexual. Less than 1% of respondents have more than one significant other, and are out as bisexual to one or more but not all.

When asked how their bisexuality was received by the people they are out to (note: this question asked to check all that applies to all people respondents are out to. It is possible for respondents to both check that they feel supported and that they do not feel supported, if different people have responded differently to their bisexuality.):

47% of respondents feel very supported by the people they are out to. 46% of respondents feel somewhat supported by the people they are out to. 23% feel supported by friends, but not family. 16% answered that they people they are out to ignore their bisexuality or don’t believe it is real. 5% indicated that their being out is a source of stress, harassment or mockery from the people they are out to. 5% indicated they don’t feel supported or respected by the people they are out to. 1% indicated that their being out is a source of violence or abuse. Less than 1% feel they are supported by their family, but not their friends.

9% of respondents gave other responses about the reception of their bisexuality by the people in their life.

When asked if their significant was also bisexual (not repeated here: percentage of respondents who do not have a significant other): 19% of respondents indicated their significant other is not bisexual. 18% of respondents indicated their significant other is also bisexual. 3% of respondents are not sure whether their significant other is bisexual. 2% of respondents have more than one significant other, with one or more, but not all being bisexual.

When asked how their current significant other received their bisexuality (not repeated here: percentage of respondents who do not have a significant other or are not out to them): 36% indicate their current significant other is very supportive of their bisexuality. 4% indicate their significant other is somewhat supportive of their bisexuality. Less than 1% indicate their significant other has accused them of cheating because of their bisexuality. Less than 1% indicate their significant other has made them feel that the respondent’s bisexuality is less valid or moral than their sexuality. Less than 1% indicate their significant other has made them feel ashamed of their bisexuality. Less than 1% indicate their significant other is angered or offended by their bisexuality, or finds it threatening. Less than 1% indicate their significant other doesn’t want them to talk about their bisexuality or seems ashamed of it. Less than 1% indicate their significant other doesn’t believe in their bisexuality. Less than 1% indicate their significant other uses their bisexuality to coerce them into sexual acts they do not want. Less than 1% indicate their significant other is not supportive of their bisexuality. 2% of respondents gave other answers about the reception of their bisexuality by their significant other, such as mentioning that their partner became more supportive with time or that they don’t discuss their bisexuality with their partner.

When asked how their bisexuality was received by significant others in past relationships: 28% of respondents have never had a significant other in the past.

29% of respondents had past significant others who were very supportive of their bisexuality. 15% had past significant others who were somewhat supportive of their bisexuality. 14% were never out to any past significant others. 9% have been accused of cheating because of their bisexuality. 9% had past significant others who did not want them to talk about their bisexuality. 9% had past significant others who did not believe in their bisexuality. 9% had past significant others who did used their bisexuality to coerce them into sexual acts they did not want. 8% had past significant others who made them feel that the respondent’s bisexuality was less valid or moral than theirs. 8% had past significant others who were angered, offended, or threatened by their bisexuality. 8% had past significant others who made them feel ashamed of their bisexuality. 7% had past significant others who were not supportive of their bisexuality. 3% had past significant others who mocked, harassed, insulted, beat, or otherwise abused them because of their bisexuality.

8% of respondents gave other responses about their experiences with past partners, including only being out to some partners, not identifying as bisexual in past relationships, as well as other experiences of biphobia from past significant others. 3% chose the “other” reply but did not write specifics.

When asked whether, regardless of the perpetrators (this question included strangers), they had experienced any of the following:

76% of respondents indicated their bisexuality was treated as a phase, a lie, or a cry for attention. 75% of respondents indicated their bisexuality was treated as a curiosity or a joke. 47% of respondents have been mocked, harassed or insulted on the basis of their bisexuality. 39% of respondents indicated their bisexuality was treated as a sexual fetish or that they were expected to participate in sexual acts they did not want because of their bisexuality. 21% have been sexually harassed on the basis of their bisexuality. 8% have faced sexual violence other than rape on the basis of their bisexuality. 7% have faced violence on the basis of their bisexuality. 5% have been raped on the basis of their bisexuality. 6% of respondents gave other answers, including experiences of biphobia that did not fit the offered answers.

5. Personal relationship to bisexuality.

Respondents were asked to check all that apply to their current personal feelings about their bisexuality. 70% of respondents take pride in their bisexuality. 25% hide their bisexuality from others. 20% want everyone to know they’re bisexual. 9% feel ashamed of their bisexuality. 4% wish they weren’t bisexual.

44% find that being bisexual informs their experiences in life. 42% find that being bisexual informs their relationships to others. 39% say that being bisexual is a huge part of their identity. 26% say that being bisexual isn’t a very important or defining part of them - it’s just one thing among others.

52% say that if they could choose to be straight, they would still be bisexual. 42% say if they could choose to be gay, they would still be bisexual. 10% say if they could choose to be gay, they would. 3% say if they could choose to be straight, they would.

40% feel they’re “not bisexual enough”. 38% still question their bisexuality and are never sure they’re really bisexual. 29% feel they’re “not LGBT enough” because of their bisexuality. 16% find that bisexual feels like a dirty word, and they have a hard time calling themselves bisexual even though they know they are. 14% feel guilt because of their bisexuality.

5% of respondents gave other answers about their relationship to their bisexuality, including mentions of conflicting feelings about bisexuality.

Respondents were asked to check all that applied to their past feelings about their bisexuality: 56% have had a hard time accepting their bisexuality and questioned themselves constantly. 54% have had a hard time admitting that they were bisexual, to themselves or others. 36% struggled with the bisexual label, felt like bisexual was a dirty word, or tried to call themselves other labels to avoid saying “bisexual”. 35% have been ashamed of their bisexuality. 31% have wished they weren’t bisexual. 30% have identified as pansexual/omnisexual/polysexual before realizing they were bisexual. 28% have identifiedd as a gay man or a lesbian before realizing they were bisexual. 26% have known they were bisexual as soon as they knew bisexuality existed. 20% have been proud of their bisexuality ever since they realized they were bisexual.

8% of respondents gave other answers about their past feelings about their bisexuality.

Respondents were asked if they identifiedd as another orientation other than straight before identifying as bisexual, and if so, why. 24% of respondents have only identified as bisexual.

31% say they had a preference for the same/similar gender and felt it made them gay/a lesbian. 26% say they were afraid to accept their different-gender attraction due to heteronormative pressures, trauma, or other reasons. 26% say they were afraid to accept their same-gender attraction due to homophobia, trauma, or other reasons. 26% say they identified as another sexuality because they believed bisexuality wasn’t inclusive enough. 23% say they were afraid to identify as bisexual due to stereotypes or stigma against bisexuality. 20% say they didn’t know any bisexual people and didn’t have an idea of what bisexuality could be. 17% say they were pressured by others to identify as another LGBT+ identity. 16% say they didn’t fit stereotypes about bisexuality and thought it meant they weren’t bisexual. 11% say they believed they weren’t bisexual because they didn’t have a gender preference or didn’t experience attraction differently based on gender. 5% say they believed bisexuality wasn’t real.

9% of respondents gave other responses about identifying as another non-straight orientation. 4% chose the “other” reply but did not specify a response.

6. Bisexuality and gender.

When asked whether their bisexuality informs their gender identity:

44% of respondents said their bisexuality doesn’t inform their gender. 26% say they feel a connection between their nonbinary identity and their bisexuality. 26% say they feel more connected to their gender because of their bisexuality. 20% say their bisexuality and their gender are inextricably linked. 11% say they feel less connected to their gender because of their bisexuality. 5% of respondents gave other responses about the relationship between their gender and their bisexuality.

When asked whether their bisexuality informs their gender presentation:

47% of respondents said their bisexuality does not inform their gender presentation. 34% say they present in a way that they feel reflects their bisexuality. 20% say their gender presentation is linked to their same-gender attraction. 20% say their gender and their bisexuality are inextricably linked, and so is their gender presentation. 9% say their gender presentation is linked to their different-gender attraction. 5% of respondents gave other answers about their relationship between their bisexuality and their gender presentation.

When asked whether they consider themselves gender non-conforming: 46% of respondents said they are GNC. 45% of respondents said they are not GNC. 9% of respondents gave other answers (most of them uncertain of whether they were GNC, or saying they are GNC sometimes).

When asked whether their gender non-conformity was linked to their bisexuality (not repeated here: percentage of respondents who are not gender non-conforming):

22% are GNC, but it isn’t linked to their bisexuality. 21% say they’re GNC because their bisexuality and their experience of gender are inextricably linked. 15% are GNC because it’s their way of expressing their sexuality. 9% are GNC to signal interest to potential same-gender partners. 6% of respondents gave other responses about the link between their gender non-conformity and their bisexuality.

When asked whether they had more to say on the relation between their gender and their sexuality, hundreds of respondents wrote personal answers, often discussing a shifting or fluid relationship to their gender and presentation linked to their bisexuality. These answers are available in the survey responses.

7. LGBT+ terminology and privileges.

10% of respondents use the term “monosexual” to talk about people only attracted to one gender. 22% believe in monosexual privilege.

13% use the term “straight-passing” to describe bisexual people in M/F relationships. 27% believe in straight-passing privilege.

12% believe lesbians have privilege over bisexual people. 82% do not believe lesbians have privilege over bisexual people. 6% had other answers, with a prevalence for feeling lesbians sometimes have privilege over bisexual people, or that it depends on the situation and circumstances.

18% believe gay men have privilege over bisexual people. 77% believe gay men do not have privilege over bisexual people. 6% had other answers, with the same tendency towards the idea circumstancial privilege as the previous question.

5% believe bisexual people have privilege over lesbians. 91% feel bisexual people do not have privilege over lesbians. 4% gave other answers, with the same tendency towards the idea of circumstancial privilege as previous questions. Several indicate feeling that bisexual people do have privilege when in M/F relationship.

5% believe bisexual people have privilege over gay men 92% feel bisexual people do not have privilege over gay men 3% gave other answers, with the same tendency towards the idea of circumstancial privilege as previous questions. Several indicate feeling that bisexual people do have privilege when in M/F relationship.

(Note: all questions about privilege indicated that the respondent must give their feelings on whether a group experiences privilege over another based on sexuality alone, not on gender.)

When asked whether they believe terms like twink/bear/etc are exclusive to gay men: 33% of respondents do not have an opinion.

49% believe these terms include bisexual men. 8% believe bisexual men can call themselves these terms only when they are in M/M relationships. 7% believe these terms are exclusive to gay men. 3% gave other answers.

When asked whether they believe the terms butch/femme are exclusive to lesbians:

21% of respondents do not have an opinion.

47% believe these terms include bisexual women. 19% believe these terms are exclusive to lesbians. 9% believe bisexual women can call themselves these terms only when they are in F/F relationships. 5% gave other answers.

When asked how they feel about the terms stag/doe:

28% of respondents do not know these terms. 25% have a neutral opinion.

25% don’t like the terms, but respect people using them. 17% like the terms, but do not use them. 10% find these terms offensive or dehumanizing. 3% like the terms and use them. 5% gave other answers.

When asked how they feel about the terms knight/mage: 56% of respondents do not know these terms. 15% have a neutral opinion.

16% don’t like the terms, but respect people using them. 10% like the terms, but do not use them. 5% find the terms offensive or dehumanizing. 2% like the terms and use them. 4% gave other answers.

When asked whether they believe bisexual people can call themselves gay: 71% say bisexual people can always call themselves gay. 20% say bisexual people can call themselves gay, but only in the context of same-gender relationships or attraction. 3% said bisexual people cannot call themselves gay. 1% said bisexual people can only call themselves gay when they aren’t in an M/F relationship. 5% gave other answers, often saying they have no opinion or don’t care, or that bisexual people can call themselves gay but it is confusing or erases their bisexuality.

When asked whether they’d like to say more about LGBT+ terms and privilege between LGBT+ people, hundreds of people gave personal answers. They are available in the survey responses.

8. Bisexual stereotypes and misconceptions.

When asked whether they feel a pressure not to conform to stereotypes about bisexual people: 40% of respondents say they do not feel pressure to not conform to stereotypes.

26% say they genuinely do not conform to any stereotypes about bisexuality. 19% say they lie about or hide their attraction to some genders or people to avoid conforming to stereotypes. 17% say they lie about or hide their interest in some sexual acts. 14% say they lie about or hide their interest in non-monogamy. 14% say they lie about or hide their interest in threesomes. 12% say they lie about or hide their gender preference. 5% say they avoid dressing or presenting in some ways to avoid fitting stereotypes.

16% say they call themselves “slutty”, a “bihet”, a “traitor”, or other instults targeted at bisexual people to reclaim them. 11% say they are open about their sexuality and interest in sex because they have been made to feel guilty about it due to their bisexuality. 8% say they purposefully fit stereotypes about bisexuality to rebel against the pressure to not fit them. 4% say they are open about their non-monogamy because they have been made to feel guilty about it due to their bisexuality.

4% of respondents gave other answers.

When asked whether they are polyamorous: 64% of respondents say they are not. 18% say they might be, but they are afraid to explore it due to stigma against polyamorous people. 16% say they are polyamorous. 12% say they might be, but they are afraid to explore it due to stigma against bisexual polyamorous people.

When asked whether they had ever cheated on a partner: 90% of respondents said they had not. 7% of respondents said they had. 3% gave an answer saying that they had, but indicated specific circumstances (it was a very long time ago, it was emotional cheating but they didn’t act on it, they were in an abusive relationship…).

When asked whether they had been approached for a threesome by a couple, when they had made no indication of interest in threesomes, being open to sexual advances, or interest in the people approaching them: 71% said they had not been approached for an unwanted threesome. 22% said they had, and found it upsetting. 7% said they had, but didn’t mind it. 5% gave other answers (often detailing experiences with unwarranted sexual advances).

When asked whether they had been assumed to be “available for sex” due to their bisexuality: 62% said they had not (several said “no” in the “other” answers, and said it was because they are not out). 36% said they had. 2% gave other answers, often saying they weren’t sure or didn’t know whether it was due to their bisexuality or other factors.

Out of 1252 women or female aligned people: 51% have never been told they are “available to men” due to their bisexuality. 42% have been told they are “available to men” and found it offensive. 5% consider themselves available to men. 2% have been told they are “available to men” and did not find it offensive.

Several individuals who do not identify as women or female-aligned have indicated that this has happened to them because they used to identify as women or female-aligned or are misgendered as women - most found it offensive.

Out of 486 men/male-aligned people: 62% say they have never been assimilated to straight men and/or benefit from straight men’s privileges. 35% say they have been assimilated to straight men and/or told they benefit from straight men’s privileges, and found this offensive. 2% say they have been assimilated to straight men and/or told theybenefit from straight men’s privileges, but did not find this offensive. Less than 1% (5 individuals) thought they are basically the same as a straight man.

5 men/male-aligned individuals said they believe they have not experienced this specifically because they are trans and are misgendered as women.

When asked whether, regardless of their gender, it was assumed that respondents were primarily or only attracted to men, and that their attraction to other genders was either fake, or unimportant and shallow:

71% said they had experienced this. 27% said they had not experienced this. 2% gave other responses, such as being unsure or detailing experiences with this stereotype.

Out of 482 men/male-aligned people: 41% have been assumed to be “really gay” and lying about their attraction to women. 55% have not faced this assumption. 4% gave other responses, with many expressing that this does not happen to them because they are misgendered as women, or that they’re not sure whether this has happened..

Several people who are not men/male-aligned indicated this happened to them when they previously identified as men or because they are misgendered as men.

Out of 1271 women/female-aligned people: 75% have been assumed to be “really straight”, or that their interest in women is just a phase, a sexual fetish, or experimenting. 25% have not faced this assumption. Less than 1% used the “other” answers to indicate they have faced the opposite assumption: they have been assumed to really be lesbians. Less than 1% gave other answers (mostly uncertainty).

Several people who are not women or female-aligned say they have faced this assumption when they previously identified as women/female-aligned or because they are misgendered as women.

When asked whether they have been made to feel that identifying as bisexual was regressive or less inclusive than other sexualities:

72% of respondents said they had. 26% said they had not. 3% said they had been told this but did not internalize it, or that they had not personally been told this but had witnessed this sentiment.

When asked whether they had been told that identifying as bisexual meant they were prejudiced against trans and nonbinary people: 73% of respondents said they had. 25% said they had not. 2% said they had not been directly told this, but had seen this being said.

Out of 919 trans and/or nonbinary people: 63% were made to feel that they could not be bisexual because “bisexuality doesn’t include trans people”. 37% were not made to feel this way. Less than 1% gave other answers, such as that they had heard or been told this but did not internalize it, they did not identify as trans or nonbinary when they were told this, or that they hadn’t identified as trans or nonbinary long enough to have experienced this.

When asked whether they had been made to feel or told that they should identify as a different label because of the way they experience bisexuality: 29% of respondents said they had not.

63% of respondents said they had been told they should identify as pansexual/omnisexual/polysexual instead. 19% said they had been told they should identify as asexual/aromantic/greysexual/demisexual/etc instead. 15% said they had been told they should identify as a lesbian instead. 6% said they had been told they should identify as a gay man instead. 6% gave other answers as to their experience being pushed to not identify as bisexual, which are available in the survey results.

When asked whether there was anything else relevant to the survey that they wanted to say, over 100 respondents gave personal answers that are availably in the survey results.

[qqueenofhades]

“This is because poor white people have been systematically conditioned to support white supremacy at the direct expense of their own economic and social interests; it’s terrible, but that’s how it functions.” Do you think the rich white overlords have also been conditioned to support the system?

“while disdaining the government as tyrannical the rest of the time, unless it’s Trump’s actively tyrannical lot, but hey, we don’t have time to unpack all that)” Can you unpack some of that? I don’t understand. Thanks. Love your political posts. 

Sure!

(If anyone’s wondering, this is carrying on from/in reference to this ask from yesterday on how to dismantle arguments about “I’m white and my life has been hard therefore racism isn’t real.”)

The third part of the white supremacist equation in America, aside from racism and capitalism, is religion, especially fundamentalist and evangelical Christianity. We didn’t get to that in the last ask, but it’s an equally important factor in the social and cultural landscape of this particular demographic -- especially because the GOP has essentially become its political manifestation, and religious conservatism has become tied so deeply to a set of hot-button social issues (immigration, the gays, abortion, etc). As a lot of social scientists and lay observers have noted, religious belief in America remains staggeringly high relative to the rest of the industrialized Western world. Ever since the rise of religious conservatives as a mobilised political force in the 1980s, we have had to deal with their influence and the GOP’s willingness to function as an eager and uncritical vehicle for their social agenda. Fundamentalist/evangelical Christianity in America has also served as a powerful tool of promoting white supremacy. In fundamentalist religions, it’s a sin to question anything you’re told and you have to trust that a “higher authority” has your best interests at heart. This lends itself easily to personality cults: think the charismatic mega-preachers and other high-profile figures that exist in mainstream and fringe American evangelicalism alike, as well as the cult of Trump that now exists around the Orange Fuhrer.

Some books on this:

The Sin of White Supremacy: Christianity, Racism, and Religious Diversity in America, by Jeannine Hill Fletcher

White Too Long: The Legacy of White Supremacy in American Christianity by Robert P. Jones (you can also read a Washington Post interview with him here, and his piece in The Atlantic here.)

The Cult of Trump by Steven Hassan

When you intertwine the moral imperatives of fundamentalist religion (if you don’t believe the right things, you’ll go to hell), with the centuries-old American system of prizing whiteness at the expense of everything else, with the belief that your rich white overlords are more “your people” than your differently-colored working-class peers, you get an incredibly powerful and coercive system of mental conditioning that works on multiple levels, constantly reinforces itself, and is very difficult to break away from. And frankly, it’s difficult to tell if the most high-profile mouthpieces of these views actually believe it (maybe to some degree) or if they just use it to obtain a comfortable life at the expense of vulnerable people. Honestly, I’m not sure if it matters whether or not the overlords believe everything they themselves teach (and I’m pretty certain that they don’t). They know that it ends up as a good deal for them, and so it’s in their interests to maintain the system as vigorously as possible.

You may have heard of “prosperity gospel” evangelists, who claim to their poor followers that if they give them, the evangelists, all their money as a demonstration of faith, God will automatically reward them/provide for their economic needs, and it’s a sign of too little faith if you don’t believe this, therefore you will stay poor. You may have also heard of the recent sex scandal involving Jerry Falwell Jr., son of the famous Jerry Falwell and current president (though he was forced to resign) of the ultra-fundamentalist Liberty University in Virginia. This, of course, goes up there with all the other hard-right politicians who preached family values and Moral Purity and then turned out to be hypocrites who were failing to live up to these ideas in private. American evangelicalism is a deeply weird and self-reinforcing universe that provides adherents with everything they need to live in a parallel version of reality and feel holier-than-thou about not interacting with “infidels,” and yes, a huge part of that, especially white Protestant evangelicalism, involves preaching the gospel of white supremacy, implicitly or explicitly.

So at the end of this, we have a system which orchestrates and indeed insists upon complete obedience to the overlords (be they economic, racial, or religious) by the underclass at every turn. As I noted above, the rich white overlords themselves know that they benefit immensely from this setup, so the question of whether or not they actually believe it is less important. As also noted, they sure don’t make any attempt to live up to it in private, or at least trust that they won’t be found out if they don’t. That’s because (at least in my opinion) they know perfectly well that it sucks. They don’t want to be poor either, but it’s useful for them if there are poor people. Fundamentalism is also deeply predicated on suffering: it’s holy to suffer, poverty is a virtue, you shouldn’t worry about this world so much as what you will get after you die, thinking about material things is Sinful, God will magically provide everything that you need, so on and so forth. So even if they’re voting against their own self-interests, white working class religious people have been assured that is a virtue anyway and they should keep doing it. Only heathens like socialism.

That also makes it harder to get any dialogue of social justice going in (white) churches. Black churches have obviously been at the forefront of social justice struggles in America for their entire history, but that’s because white and black American Christianity are often very different. There are overlaps in places, but the black church was founded in the slave tradition, rather than the slaveholder tradition, as the establishment church in the 19th century was often a zealous supporter of slavery for the “moral good” of the slaves -- hey, they might be in terrible bondage, but at least they had the chance to be saved by becoming Christians! White Americans tend to go to church to be reassured that what they’re doing is good and doesn’t need to change, or if it does need to be changed, it’s to outlaw abortion or gay marriage or whatever social issue is the order of the day. It’s founded on repression rather than liberation. This isn’t true of every church everywhere, of course, but the overall trend is one toward social and religious hyper-conservatism.

This ties into the “civic faith” of America, i.e. the sphere of cultural Christianity that everyone participates in whether they’re actively religious or not, and which has also been the subject of political studies as to how it has been twisted into an organ of feel-good jingoistic American nationalism with very little reference to what Jesus Christ is recorded as having actually taught. The point again is that this entire belief system prizes absolute obedience and adherence to a (white and male) Supreme Leader, which is really easy for a fascist to exploit with populist rhetoric draped in the shabbiest veneer of religious language. The enthusiastic evangelical support for Trump, and the way the religious right has bent over backward from trying to impeach Bill Clinton for a blowjob in the Oval Office to defending serial rapist Trump is... both enlightening and terribly depressing. (Not to say that Clinton isn’t gross, because he is, but that’s beside the point; the GOP went on a frothing-mouth moral crusade over his behavior and it’s absolute crickets over Trump.)

In the end, we have this entire subset of people who have argued that they need their guns and their paramilitary organizations to defend against a theoretical “tyrannical” (read: non-white, non-Christian) body politic or American government. That’s why we had constant claims that Obama was going to throw people into concentration camps or send federal agents to arrest people off the streets or turn America into a military dictatorship; these proud AR-15-waving nutcases were happy to inform us that they would rise up and prevent that from happening. Of course, Obama didn’t actually do any of that, but you know who did? Trump. And his supporters, of course, didn’t make any attempt to stop it from happening. Instead they actively went out to help it happen more. (Side note: a little racist shitstain literally named RITTENHOUSE being the face of armed and murderous white supremacy in the Kenosha protests is like... ridiculously on the nose, PAGING GARCIA FLYNN.)

So when I say they’re protesting “government tyranny,” we’ve already gotten a good look at what they imagine tyranny to be: i.e. anything except the actual tyranny we’re already enduring, because it’s coming from their orange messiah and it is the culmination of everything that their religious, political, social, and cultural values have taught them. They mean “tyranny” of anything that is not their extreme right-wing, white-supremacist, religious-fundamentalist fascist version of things, which means respect or tolerance or room for anyone who isn’t exactly like them, which they can’t abide. Totalitarianism never can.

Anyway, I hope that was helpful. Thanks for the question!

[twisted-leader-of-something]

Ramshackle’s Polarity - My RSA OCs

So, I must say, some things are [N/A] in this Profile because of a reason I willl state. Sorry for any inconvenience! 

Elias Winterbottom

Full Name: Elias Faye Rosetta-Winterbottom 

Nickname(s): Eli (by many people at RSA)

Twisted from: Eleanor Fay Bloomingbottom [From Godmothered]

Gender: Male

Species: Brounie, a type of Fae

Age: Not Officially Stated due to no one asking, but according to Lilia, he is defiantly younger than Malleus

Birthday: February 2nd

Star Sign: Aquarius

Height: 5′5 or 165.1 cm

Eye Color: Hazel Green

Hair Color: Golden Blonde 

Homeland: Plains of Flowerage

Family: Great-grandaunt, Grandfather, Grandmother, Father and Mother, Step Brother [Bruatar/Bindumat Nelson] and Sister In-Law [Alette Nelson], and Twins Nefillings and a Nephew (Status Unknown)

Dorm:  [ N/A - Not Enough Information about Royal Sword Academy ]

School Year: Second Year

Class: [ N/A - Not Enough Information about Royal Sword Academy ]

Occupation: Fairy Godparent/Student

Club: [ N/A - Not Enough Information about Royal Sword Academy ]

Best Subject: Home Economics

Dominant Hand: Right

Favorite Food: Anything with Watermelon or Watermelon Flavor and Seafood

Least Favorite Food: Anything with Pumpkin or Pumpkin Flavor

Likes: Being Kind to Other People and Set Ways to Do Things

Dislikes: Violence, Mean People and Some Forms of Technology 

Hobby: Making Crafts

Sexuality: Aromantic

Unique Magic: ‘Let’s Make Magic Happen!’ - For as long as Elias wishes it, Elias can induce any amount of confidence that he wishes in any animate object he chooses when he simply says the person’s name and “I need you to believe in yourself!”

Talent: Making Others Smile or Uncomfortable

Personality: Elias is often described as a ray of sunshine who often doesn’t understand personal limitations or modern things and is often described as old fashioned by most who meets him, due to his kindness that often get really out of hand and will get him into trouble. Elias also is described as overbearing at times due to his kind nature, and he acts really childish despite being a Fae and older than most people he meets. But, most people that know him agrees that Elias also is super positive to where even in the bleakest of times he still smiles and is sees the positives in life, which is even to a fault. And he also has motherly qualities that are often only come out with very young children. But, despite being a good person, Elias has shown he still has his Fae qualities, like his pettiness. But around Kinsey he is often like a child, trying to please him not matter what it is, no matter the task. 

Background: Born and raised in Plains of Flowerage with most of his family nearby him, Elias grew up most of his life surrounded by lots of love and support from a family that for the most part sheltered him from the world due to his sibling, later named Bruatar, that his mother stole when Elias was little for Elias to have a sibling since Elias asked for one that was illegally changed into a Fae and had to be kept from the world in order for the family to not get into trouble with the Fae authorities. Elias had a sheltered, but decent childhood considering the time he was born, that is until his family encountered trouble when Bruatar ran away from home after discovering the truth of where he came from and ran off to find his real family. Which, he later did and for a long time cut off contact with his family and then after years and years of non-contact contacted Elias and had him come into the human world and meeting his family, which Elias was more than happy to have despite being half-Fae half-Changeling and his family not really liking him which he later on discovers from overhearing a conversation and then hasn’t spoken to since. Elias then became inspired to work with all kinds of children, especially human children since he had not interacted with them and went to a school called “The School of Godparenting” to become a Godparent, a type of Fae that watches over a human for most of their lives which Elias found was about to be shut down, but determined to work with human children searched for a child to become a Godfather of, and found Kinsey Wallace and turned the live of Kinsey and his family around and saved the School of Godparenting and then taught there for a while until Kinsey and Paisha managed to get into Royal Sword Academy despite their severe lack of magic to which Elias agreed to give them magic in exchange for spending time at RSA, since he had heard about it being a fancy school and wanted to  see what it was like. 

Kinsey Wallace

Full Name: Kinsey Wallace

Nickname(s): Kin (By Elias and serval others at RSA)

Twisted from: Mackenzie Walsh [From Godmothered]

Gender: Male

Spices: Human

Age: 17

Birthday: June 27th

Star Sign: Cancer

Height: 5′6′14 or 167.99 cm

Eye Color: Hazel Green 

Hair Color: Copper Red

Homeland: Land of Pyroxene 

Family: Mother (Status Unknown), Younger Brother, Girlfriend [Joanna Bells] (Deceased), Two Adoptive Sons [Joan and Miri Bells-Wallace]

Dorm:  [ N/A - Not Enough Information about Royal Sword Academy ]

School Year: Second Year

Class: [ N/A - Not Enough Information about Royal Sword Academy ]

Occupation: Dorm Leader/Part-time Journalist

Club: [ N/A - Not Enough Information about Royal Sword Academy ]

Best Subject: Writing

Dominant Hand: Right

Favorite Food: Donuts

Least Favorite Food: Takeout Foods, mainly Pizza

Likes: Things Clean and Orderly, Things Going His Way.

Dislikes: Parties and Lots of Work to do.

Hobby: Writing

Sexuality: Straight

Unique Magic: [N/A - Kinsey isn’t a Natural Magician, he’s actually an Deal-Bound Magician, so therefore he cannot gain a Unique Magic unless it is given to him by Elias, which is currently banned]

Talent: Either Getting Lots of Work Done or Making A Situation Worse

Personality: According to Paisha, Kinsey was once described as a toxic person to be around due to what stress he was under in a news station job he hated during his junior high school years that affected his life until Elias stepped into his life and became his fairy godfather and made him a better person, but Kinsey still has a pessimistic mindset that will show itself when Kinsey is under enough stress. But for the most part, Kinsey is a mostly optimistic person who despite responsibilities given to him always is smiling and trying to be positive while being realistic at the same time. He is often seen with Elias floating somewhere nearby him with a sigh and a tired expression despite how much respect he has towards Elias from how he speaks.  

Background: Born into a stressed household of a single mother within the Land of Pyroxene, Kinsey grew up for the most part decently okay with pessimistic views of the mother due to his mother’s lack of optimism despite his father’s trying to help the situation until his younger brother Paisha was born, to which Kinsey’s father got a divorce soon after due to Kinsey’s mother’s increasing pessimism which was believed to be undiagnosed postnatal depression and unfortunately did not get much custody over the two boys. So, Kinsey spent most of his young life either taking care of his younger brother Paisha or rebelling against his mother by going to lots of parties with shady people which Kinsey said was retaliation for his mother for ‘ruining his life’, which have led many, many mistakes that Kinsey admits he regrets and had enforced Kinsey into becoming a mostly pessimistic and bitter person because of a situation beyond his control with hints of kindness here and there until Kinsey met Joanna, a woman that really changed Kinsey’s point of view due to her optimistic and kind but realistic attitude which Kinsey wanted in himself. Over time, Joanna really changed Kinsey’s point of view on life and taught him many things, and eventually the two started dating and fell madly in love. Which ended after years of fun times, that Kinsey still has good memories of to this day, when Joanna got into a huge car accident that was believed to be caused by gang activity in the area. Which first Kinsey into miserable and often angry person enough to Kinsey back into his old habits until he met Joan and Miri, which where Joanna’s children which Kinsey then promised he’s take care of, because his guilt of the loss of their mother ate at him until he adopted them, which subsequently got him kicked out of his mother’s house because of his mother claiming he got someone pregnant and for a while lived in a long-stay hotel with Joan and Miri and had a job at a news station that quickly made him stressed out due to a terrible boss, lots of work and the stress of wanting to do more with his life with Paisha helping raise the children. It was then Elias stepped into his life, and changed his life by trying to help him out with his life, which worked for Kinsey as well as Paisha, Joan and Miri and fixed the problems the family had and continued to be a presence in the family’s life. Then, Kinsey received a letter to attend Royal Sword Academy due to Kinsey’s hard work during his school years after Elias got his life together, which at first Kinsey wasn’t sure about until he finally met his father again, who was more than alright with contacting him and taking care of Paisha, Joan, and Miri while Kinsey was at RSA. But, Kinsey had another huge problem: He didn’t have enough magic to get into Royal Sword Academy despite being invited, which you’d think is impossible, but it happened. So, Kinsey made a deal for magic with Elias, that as long as Kinsey attended RSA, he’d have magic as long as Elias could attend as well. Later on, Pasha was invited, and Kinsey expanded upon the deal he had with Elias.  

Paisha Wallace

Full Name: Paisha Wallace

Nickname(s): Shasa (by Elias and serval others at RSA)

Twisted from: Paula Walsh [From Godmothered]

Gender: Male

Species: Human

Age: 16

Birthday: August 1st

Star Sign: Leo

Height: 5′4′4 or 163.57

Eye Color: Hazel Blue

Hair Color: Light Blonde

Homeland: Land of Pyroxene 

Family: Mother (Status Unknown), Father, Older Brother, and Two Nephews

Dorm:  [ N/A - Not Enough Information about Royal Sword Academy ]  

School Year: First Year

Class: [ N/A - Not Enough Information about Royal Sword Academy ]

Occupation: Vice Dorm Leader/Student 

Club: [ N/A - Not Enough Information about Royal Sword Academy ]

Best Subject: Modern Application of Magic

Dominant Hand: Right

Favorite Food: Bagels

Least Favorite Food: Scarps/Wasted Food

Likes: Driving Motor Vehicles, His Father, Brother, and Nephews 

Dislikes: Untangling Things, His Mother

Hobby: Being with Domesticated Animals

Sexuality: Pansexual

Unique Magic: [N/A - Like Kinsey, Paisha is not a Natural Magician but a Deal-Bound Magician, so unless Elias gives him a Unique Magic, which is currently banned, he cannot get one]

Talent: Spilling the Tea on a Situation

Personality: Paisha is often the definition of “I legitimately don’t know what’s happening but let’s roll with it” to those around him, despite being a decently intelligent and good person with a good sense of humor or knack for spilling the tea in a situation. 

Background: Born into the house of a family in shambles within the land of Pyroxene, Paisha grew up most of his life in a household that wasn’t the best for him, that even he recognized even at a young age. But, despite his mother who wasn’t the most encouraging or greatest to be around, he did learn to be a decent person and to be better than his circumstances thanks to a lot of his friends he had, especially one older mutual friend he knew for a short time he that said he moves a lot. He often was the middle ground between his mother and rebellious brother when the two fought, and often got in trouble on Kinsey’s behalf. Which, didn’t make him bitter towards his brother, it actually made him really depressed, which thankfully didn’t turn into something out of control since his friend caught it early on but he still does have issues with his esteem and how he views himself. For the most part of his life, Paisha was doing alright in life until Kinsey met Joanna, and then Paisha admits his life got better knowing his brother was happier until his brother’s girlfriend died, and Kinsey fell into a deep depression and adopted two sons, Joan and Miri, which then Paisha agreed to take care of happily since he figures it might help his brother out, but in reality it made the family problem worse. That is, until Elias stepped in and changed his life, to which Paisha then decided to keep a positive influence in Kinsey’s life instead of watching from the sidelines and did his best to keep Elias in the family when Elias tried to leave. Later on, Kinsey was invited to Royal Sword Academy and was worried about how the family would live, which Paisha was able to help with when he asked Joan, the closest to Elias, to help out with their situation, which worked out. 

[brightbeautifulthings]

Our Revolution: A Future to Believe In by Bernie Sanders

"In my view, we have got to send a message to the billionaire class: 'You can't have it all.' You can't get huge tax breaks while children in this country go hungry. You can't continue getting tax breaks by shipping American jobs to China. You can't hide your profits in the Cayman Islands and other tax havens while there are massive unmet needs in every corner of this nation. Your greed has got to end. You cannot take advantage of all the benefits of America if you refuse to accept your responsibilities as Americans."

Year Read: 2020

Rating: 4/5

Thoughts: I'm really proud of myself for finishing this because I don't often read nonfiction and it's an intimidating 450 pages. That being said, it's also very accessible. Sanders keeps up a conversational tone that's easy to follow, and while his points are well-researched and well-supported by evidence, they're never too complicated for the typical reader to grasp. After providing a brief history of his upbringing and his rise in politics, the first section of the book follows the historic campaign for presidency funded entirely by grassroots support. He spent so much time meeting with ordinary people and having meetings in small towns, places most politicians never even glance at. It was unprecedented, and while Sanders ultimately didn't win the candidacy, I think we can still consider it an amazing success in getting his agenda out there. Part of the reason we talk about things like a $15 federal minimum wage and universal healthcare like they're things that can actually happen in the near future instead of like wild leftist/socialist ideas is because Sanders put those ideas out into the world, one small town at a time, and made them acceptable. I hope more potential politicians look at all the hard work he and his campaign put in and realize it's possible to do the same. He already left a blueprint for it.

The rest of the book covers Sanders' platform in detail, and it's one of the things I really admire about him. I liked Sanders before, but I like him even more now. There's no smoke and mirrors with him. He's not a millionaire or funded by millionaires. He's just a Jewish guy from Brooklyn who spends more time talking about the issues than trying to get funding or blindsiding his followers with fancy rhetoric--something I wish more politicians would focus on. I don't care about Hillary Clinton's e-mail scandal or where Donald Trump is having his New Year's Eve party. I want to hear what politicians stand for and what they're going to fight for, and Sanders is all about that. He cares about poor people, rural people, working class people, people of color, LGBTQ+ people, veterans, sick people, people with disabilities or mental illness, the elderly. All those populations that get ignored and overlooked, Sanders has legislation to protect them. Further, he shows that progressive politics are good for everyone, urban and rural alike, which is something Democrats have largely failed to bring together. It was overwhelming, at times, to read about a politician who cares so much about people and isn't separated from them by money and media, and I'm glad I read it at the end of The Orange Menace's reign of terror, when hope actually feels possible again.

There's a big, 100-page section in the middle of the book about economic reform. While it's the hardest part of the book to get through, it's also the most necessary, since pretty much all of Sanders' ideas circle back to this main issue. It's totally bonkers for the super rich to own so much of the country's wealth while huge numbers of families in America don't know where their next meal is coming from. Sanders can fund pretty much every welfare program in the book, combat climate change, and have enough money left over to make college tuition free, all without raising taxes on middle and working class people. Holding the super wealthy and major corporations accountable would fund all of it. One of the best parts of Sanders' rhetoric is that it's all backed by actual science and research, which feels like a small miracle in this era of spin and misinformation. Parts of the book made me so angry I wanted to throw it against the wall, not because of Sanders' agenda, but because of the terrible things our country has done (and continues to do) to its most vulnerable populations. I learned a lot, and I would encourage both readers interested in grassroots politics and ones who feel totally disenchanted by the current political system to pick this up. It's well worth reading.