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Adam had the power of an archangel inside of him
And then wanted to be Small
#adam was comfortable being small#being insignificant#and that's what made him beautiful#letting go of the notion of Grand purpose#the achilles heel of road narratives is they look outside not inside and it should be both#no one was a premium on outsider narratives because that Is The Human Condition#meaning making and what is the point#you can have an unstable identity regardless of your gender sexuality#i promise you there are so so SO many ways to be an outsider#it is not nuclear fam vs everything else i guarantee you there are housewives with internal upheaval on par with romanticized road stories#to think otherwise is an erasure of internal complexity#not everyone has the mobility or health or privilege to be on a road#some of us are stuck building and maintaining it#others joyride#my economic class is coloring my views again#i know#road narratives are also the lifeblood trope of fantasy narratives not just queer ones#and queer is a good reading but to say that straight ppl can't understand being an outsider is just...don't y'all have straight friends?#or do you assume aunt carol is a 2d caricature who can't understand Romantic Things like why are we here#File under All of Literature and The Human Condition#As much as I love oppressive social structures#I don't think being disabled or queer means I and I alone understand the feeling of loneliness or a lack of purpose because that's Life#Anyway I love that Adam wanted to be small#He Got It#it's very end of Candide#Tend to your own garden stuff#I just think the segregation of This story is for US and That story is for THEM ain't ever gonna Be It#And stories aren't for everyone but oh oh OH Trying to Find Yourself and Meaning and Purpose is for Everyone#anyway what was i talking about again?#owning your own struggle does not mean denying others may struggle similarly even if theyre not exactly like me
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I have a question.
Is there a difference for you in terms of properly representing a selective group of people, whether that be race, ethnicity, identity and sexuality V.S. Survivors are of trauma, assault, psychological damage, mental illness and otherwise?
I know that you don’t mind people who romanticize dark events like rape, Stockholm syndrome or like incest (I’m not sure about that last one)Like do you not mind when people romanize rape or racism?
For me personally. I don’t mind people writing about dark elements of society. That is because it brings awareness to these serious issues in our society. I’m not so sure though about painting them in rose colored lenses or portraying it as something that is good. (Unless it usually from the victim’s warped perception)
I think a lot of things are interesting. Like your own stories. To me they don’t give out a message. Like yes this is an amazing relationship go do the same thing or this is something you should look for in a relationship/person! But some of the stories that are darker and portray like pedophilia and rape make it seem like ‘oh they really wanted it’ or ‘it’s okay, it’s not that bad’
I think those are dangerous messages to give out. Whether to children or adults. Because there is a thing like when you start off by put off by it, but the more you read things like that the more accustom to it and it becomes not as bad as a thing. Ya know.
That’s how like a lot of serial killers, rapists and other people start on the path to do those horrible things. It’s because they become accustomed to the message that it’s alright to do what they want.
Sorry for the long ask. But just wanted to ask your opinion on the matter because I see both sides of the argument and I want to find a middle ground. Ya know.
Hello! This will get a bit long, but I’d like to start with asking everyone: please don’t send me asks about the morality of fiction. While I can write essays on it, it’s not the topic that interests me and I don’t want to spend my time on it, no matter how genuine and respectful you are. I’m going to say everything I think about this subject in this reply, and that’s it.
Anon: I indeed don't mind romanization of such things as rape, age difference, incest, violence, and so on in fiction. These kinds of stories exist for adults only, and it's expected that adults can tell the right from wrong without having everything spelled out for them. In an ideal world, children shouldn't have access to fiction like this, but they are curious and easily bypass restrictions. In this case, the responsibility is on them and/or their parents. When I was about 11, I discovered the world of fanfiction. There were no tags then, and I readily clicked on "I'm 18" warnings to read the content I wanted. Some of it affected me badly - I still vividly remember the story where my favorite character was graphically raped, and it left me terrified and upset. With time, I learned how to recognize and filter such content, and it's especially easy now, when tagging has become commonplace.
There are indeed stories that portray very problematic things in a fluffy and positive way, though I'd say they are a minority. I read *a lot* of stuff and I probably saw just a few of them over my whole life. Even then, though, it is expected that adults read such content. And adults, along with most teenagers, won't decide that if one or even ten stories showed a fucked up relationship very positively, then it must be a good thing in real life. People are surrounded by parents, relatives, friends and their families, classmates, folks on the streets: this influence is far more profound than a story they might have read.
Fiction can reflect the society, but it doesn't direct it. Every day, we see the normalization of smoking, drinking, toxic masculinity, heteronormativity, and racism in movies, TV shows, cartoons, etc. But they are there because the society is like this. These things existed long before fiction as we know it started developing. At the same time, murders aren't normalized in the society at all no matter how many action, thriller, and horror movies we all see. And murders are shown much more often than incest, minor/adults, and abuse portrayed in positive light. So if nothing happened with the former, nothing will definitely happen with the latter.
Fiction can indeed have a small positive impact by normalizing things like equality. For example, it's natural for random female characters to kiss a male character. It's present even in 'Hannibal', where Chiyoh kisses Will and Bedelia kisses Hannibal out of blue, with nothing to really justify it. But it's almost unheard of male characters to do the same: if they do kiss other male characters randomly, it's usually within the "ewww, gross!" joking context. If things were to change, as they are slowly doing, if characters were allowed to interact equally regardless of their gender, then it could make an impact on the society. But fiction alone could never be responsible for it: same-sex marriages are being legalized. Punishments for homophobia start being enhanced. There are changes happening in the real world, and fiction is just a nice addition that helps solidify them.
There should be more diversity and more representation in fiction because it could aid in the positive practices that are already happening. But no matter how many stories feature romantization of violence, it's not and won't be accepted in the society because people have a general understanding of what is right and what is wrong.
There is also a big difference between fandom content and mainstream content. Someone's fanfic about romantic rape won't re-write the morals of a person. It's a work published for free and you can never guess what motivated the writer to create it. Mainstream fiction, on the other hand, is expected to show a little more care because millions are being poured into it and it has a far wider reach. POC and LGBTQ people already suffer from discrimination. If fiction further contributes to it, it's bad. If it chooses to contribute to the positive changes that take place, it's great. But everything still and always goes back to the real world.
Finally, serial killers don't become killers because they saw a message about it being okay in fiction. They were already fucked up and considering it, and they just wanted to find a justification. What you see in real life has a far bigger influence than anything you experience in fiction, and the numbers don't change. It's been decades from the moment violence started being glamourized, and the majority of population don't think it's okay to beat someone up. 80% of women have rape fantasies, but most people don't think they actually want to be raped. The same principle applies to every type of fiction out there. People with unstable minds, people who cannot differentiate between the real and the made-up, people who are easily triggered by dark material should not be consuming fiction of this type. If they do, the fault for that doesn’t fall on the shoulders of the creator, just like it cannot fall on producer of peanut cookies if a person with peanut allergy decided to eat them.
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hello!!! for the ask game! : 7, 24, 36, 43 & 80
7: Are you in love? Do you want to be?
I am definitely not in love omg at least not in the romantic sense or in any sense really. At the moment, I don’t want to be in love (with anyone) because I am too mentally unstable and I need to figure shit out for myself first fr :/. I can’t even casually date without sobbing so I really don’t think I’m ready for that kind of commitment.
24: Do you think you really understand your gender and sexuality?
Idk if this makes sense but I don’t see gender and sexuality as something I need to understand about myself. I know it’s not the same for everyone, but the more I’ve tried to understand my relationship to them, the more confused I’ve become. I’ve questioned quite a bit throughout the years though, mostly with my sexuality. I hardly feel like a person most days so it is hard to really assess almost any facet of my identity.
36: Have you ever met someone who had a very similar personality to your own? Did you get along?
Hmm not really. I have met people with bits and pieces of my personality but none were mentally ill enough to fit the bill. Most people that I relate to in any capacity, though, I tend not to get along with. I’m not unlikeable per say but it’s difficult for me to connect with people regardless of how similar their personalities are to mine omg. I blame it on being an identical twin because I’ve never seen the need for a lot of friends when I have someone who I can share everything with!
43: Do you create art? How do you define art?
Well, I am not sure how I define art tbh at all. I think it has something to do with capturing your voice in whatever medium you pursue. I do create art occasionally because I like to draw but I haven’t in awhile :(. I will share one of my drawings I’m not good by any means but I thought she turned out cute :( pls don’t look at those pencil marks tho i never have a good eraser rip
80. Is your music organised by mood or sensation or do you just listen to everything at any time?
I definitely listen to things based off mood/more particularly the season. Around the spring I cannot help but to listen to more of oasis for example something just possesses me. I have playlists based off genre which coincide with my moods. I tend to listen to my classic rock playlist the most regardless of mood though.
Thank you so much for sending these 💜 I am sorry if these replies are too long omg 😳
#replies#bowiepop#i think i'll be able to make friends easier or get along w people easier when i start to accept myself more#its so cliche but its true
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Hi! I’m part of the lgbtq+ community and Severus is my favorite HP character and I was wondering (if you have the time and feel obliged) if you could please give me a few examples of how he’s queer? It’s been a few years since I reread the books, and def before I came out, so I’m a little in the dark here lol Thanks!!
First of all, I just wanted to apologize for how long it has taken me to properly respond to your ask. I’ve been dealing with some ongoing health issues that have turned me into something of a moody writer. I’ll get random spurts of energy and inspiration and then hit a wall of absolute writer’s block assisted by a major case of executive dysfunction every single time I try to respond to the multiple asks languishing in my inbox. Fortunately, I found myself involved in a discussion just today that addressed your ask so perfectly that I wanted to share it with you. In the very least, that discussion has also managed to shake off my writer’s block temporarily so that I have found myself in the right head-space to finally be able to give this lovely ask the thought and attention that I feel it deserves.
Although, in regards to the Snape discourse I linked above, I feel that I should warn you in advance that the discussion was prompted by an anti-Snape poster who made a rather ill-thought meme (I know there are many in the Snapedom who would rather just avoid seeing anti-Snape content altogether, so I try to warn when I link people to debates and discussions prompted by anti-posts) but the thoughtful responses that the anti-Snape poster unintentionally generated from members of the Snapedom (particularly by @deathdaydungeon whose critical analyses of Snape and, on occasions, other Harry Potter characters is always so wonderfully nuanced, thought-provoking, and well-considered), are truly excellent and worth reading, in my opinion. Also, as I fall more loosely under the “a” (I’m grey-ace/demisexual) of the lgbtqa+ flag and community I would prefer to start any discussions about Snape as a queer character or as a character with queer coding by highlighting the perspectives of people in the Snapedom who are actually queer before sharing any thoughts of my own.
In addition, I also wanted to share a few other posts where Snape’s queer coding has been discussed by members of the Snapedom in the past (and likely with far more eloquence than I could manage in this response of my own).
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Along with an excellent article in Vice by Diana Tourjée, in which a case for Snape being trans is convincingly argued.
Importantly, you’ll notice that while some of these discussions do argue the possibility of Snape being a queer or trans character others may only discuss the way that Snape’s character is queer coded. That is because there is a distinct but subtle difference between: “This character could be queer/lgbtq+” and: “This character has queer/lgbtq+ coding” one which is briefly touched on in the first discussion that I linked you to. However, I would like to elaborate a bit here just what I mean when I refer to Snape as a character with queer coding. As while Rowling has never explicitly stated that she intended to write Snape as lgbtq+ (although there is one interview given by Rowling which could be interpreted as either an unintentional result of trying to symbolically explain Snape’s draw to the dark arts or a vague nod to Snape’s possible bisexuality: "Well, that is Snape's tragedy. ... He wanted Lily and he wanted Mulciber too. He never really understood Lily's aversion; he was so blinded by his attraction to the dark side he thought she would find him impressive if he became a real Death Eater.”) regardless of her intent when she drew upon the existing body of Western literary traditions and tropes for writing antagonists and villains in order to use them as a red-herring for Snape’s character, she also embued his character with some very specific, coded subtext. This is where Death of the Author can be an invaluable tool for literary critics, particularly in branches of literary criticism like queer theory.
Ultimately, even if Rowling did not intend to write Snape as explicitly queer/lgbtq+ the literary tradition she drew upon in order to present him as a foil for Harry Potter and have her readers question whether he was an ally or a villain has led to Snape being queer coded. Specifically, many of the characteristics of Snape’s character design do fall under the trope known as the “queering of the villain.” Particularly, as @deathdaydungeon, @professormcguire, and other members of the Snapedom have illustrated, Snape’s character not only subverts gender roles (e.g. his Patronus presents as female versus male, Snape symbolically assumes the role of “the mother” in the place of both Lily and later Narcissa when he agrees to protect Harry and Draco, his subject of choice is potions and poisons which are traditionally associated more with women and “witches,” while he seemingly rejects in his first introduction the more phallic practice of “foolish wand-waving,” and indeed Snape is characterized as a defensive-fighter versus offensive, in Arthurian mythology he fulfills the role of Lady of the Lake in the way he chooses to deliver the Sword of Gryffindor to Harry, Hermione refers to his hand-writing as “kind of girly,” his association with spiders and spinners also carries feminine symbology, etc.) but is often criticized or humiliated for his seeming lack of masculinity (e.g. Petunia mocking his shirt as looking like “a woman’s blouse,” which incidentally was also slang in the U.K. similar to “dandy” to accuse men of being effeminate, the Marauders refer to Snape as “Snivellus” which suggests Snape is either less masculine because he cries or the insult is a mockery of what could pass for a stereotypical/coded Jewish feature, his nose, Remus Lupin quite literally instructs Neville on how to “force” a Boggart!Snape, who incidentally is very literally stepping out of a closet-like wardrobe, into the clothing of an older woman and I quoted force because that is the exact phrase he uses, James and Sirius flipping Snape upside down to expose him again presents as humiliation in the form of emasculation made worse by the arrival and defense of Lily Evans, etc.).
Overall, the “queering of the villain” is an old trope in literature (although it became more deliberate and prevalent in media during the 1950s-60s); however, in modernity, we still can find it proliferating in many of the Disney villains (e.g. Jafar, Scar, Ursula, etc.), in popular anime and children’s cartoons (e.g. HiM from Powerpuff Girls, James from Pokemon, Frieza, Zarbon, the Ginyu Force, Perfect Cell, basically a good majority of villains from DBZ, Nagato from Fushigi Yuugi, Pegasus from Yu Gi Oh, etc.), and even in modern television series and book adaptations, such as the popular BBC’s Sherlock in the character of Moriarty. Indeed, this article does an excellent job in detailing some of the problematic history of queer coded villains. Although, the most simple summary is that: “Queer-coding is a term used to say that characters were given traits/behaviors to suggest they are not heterosexual/cisgender, without the character being outright confirmed to have a queer identity” (emphasis mine). Notably, TV Tropes also identifies this trope under the classification of the “Sissy Villain” but in queer theory and among queer writers in fandom and academia “queering of the villain” is the common term. This brings me back to Snape and his own queer coding; mainly, because Rowling drew upon Western traditions for presenting a character as a suspected villain she not only wrote Snape as queer (and racially/ethnically) coded but in revealing to the reader that Snape was not, in fact, the villain Harry and the readers were encouraged to believe he was by the narrator she incorporated a long history of problematic traits/tropes into a single character and then proceeded to subvert them by subverting reader-expectation in a way that makes the character of Severus Snape truly fascinating.
We can certainly debate the authorial intent vs. authorial impact where Snape’s character is concerned. Particularly as we could make a case that the polarizing nature of Snape may well be partly the result of many readers struggling against Rowling subverting literary tropes that are so firmly rooted in our Western storytelling traditions that they cannot entirely abandon the idea that this character who all but had the book thrown at him in terms of all the coding that went into establishing him as a likely villain (e.g. similar to Heathcliff in Wuthering Heights, Snape is also coded to be associated with darkness/black colors and to represent danger and volatile/unstable moods, while his class status further characterizes him as an outsider or “foreign other,” and not unlike all those villains of our childhood Disney films which affirmed a more black-and-white philosophy of moral abolutism, such as Scar or Jafar, the ambiguity of Snape’s sexuality coupled with his repeated emasculation signals to the reader that this man should be “evil” and maybe even “predatory,” ergo all the “incel” and friendzone/MRA discourse despite nothing in canon truly supporting those arguments; it seems it may merely be Snape’s “queerness” that signals to some readers that he was predatory or even that “If Harry had been a girl” there would be some kind of danger) is not actually our villain after all.
Indeed, the very act of having Snape die (ignoring, for the moment, any potential issues of “Bury Your Gays” in a queer analysis of his death) pleading with Harry to “look at him” as he symbolically seems to weep (the man whom Harry’s hyper-masculine father once bullied and mocked as “Snivellus”) memories for Harry to view (this time with his permission) carries some symbolic weight for any queer theory analysis. Snape, formerly portrayed as unfathomable and “secretive,” dies while pleading to be seen by the son of both his first and closest friend and his school-hood bully (a son that Snape also formerly could never see beyond his projection of James) sharing with Harry insight into who he was via his personal memories. For Harry to later go on to declare Snape “the bravest man he ever knew” carries additional weight, as a queer theory analysis makes it possible for us to interpret that as Harry finally recognizing Snape, not as the “queer coded villain” he and the reader expected but rather as the brave queer coded man who was forced to live a double-life in which “no one would ever know the best of him” and who, in his final moments at least, was finally able to be seen as the complex human-being Rowling always intended him to be.
Rowling humanizing Snape for Harry and the reader and encouraging us to view Snape with empathy opened up the queer coding that she wrote into his character (intentionally or otherwise) in such a way that makes him both a potentially subversive and inspiring character for the lgbtq+ community. Essentially, Snape opens the door for the possibility of reclaiming a tradition of queer coding specific to villains and demonstrating the way those assumptions about queer identity can be subverted. Which is why I was not at all surprised that I was so easily able to find a body of existing discourse surrounding Snape as a queer coded or even as a potentially queer character within the Harry Potter fandom. At least within the Snapedom, there are many lgbtq+ fans of his character that already celebrate the idea of a queer, bi, gay, trans, ace/aro, or queer coded Snape (in fact, as a grey-ace I personally enjoy interpreting Snape through that lens from time-to-time).
Thank you for your ask @pinkyhatespink and once again I apologize for the amount of time it’s taken me to reply. However, I hope that you’ll find this response answered your question and, if not, that some of the articles and posts from other pro-Snape bloggers I linked you to will be able to do so more effectively. Also, as a final note, although many of the scholarly references and books on queer coding and queering of the villain I would have liked to have sourced are typically behind paywalls, I thought I would list the names of just a few here that I personally enjoyed reading in the past and that may be of further interest should you be able to find access to them.
Fathallah, Judith. “Moriarty’s Ghost: Or the Queer Disruption of the BBC’s Sherlock.” Television & New Media, vol. 16, no. 5, 2014, p. 490-500.
Huber, Sandra. “Villains, Ghosts, and Roses, or How to Speak With The Dead.” Open Cultural Studies, vol. 3, no. 1, 2019, p. 15-25.
Mailer, Norman. “The Homosexual Villain.” 1955. Mind of an Outlaw: Selected Essays, edited by Sipiora Phillip, Random House, 2013, pp. 14–20.
Solis, Nicole Eschen. "Murder Most Queer: The Homicidal Homosexual in the American Theater." Queer Studies in Media & Pop Culture, vol. 1, no. 1, 2016, p. 115+.
Tuhkanen, Mikko. “The Essentialist Villain.” Jan. 2019, SBN13: 978-1-4384-6966-9
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When she asked about any romantic relationships, I told her how I identify as that catch-all, “queer.” While I can see myself in a relationship with anyone, regardless of gender, I’m also asexual. I just don’t experience sexual attraction to anyone.
She clicked her tongue. “Based on what you told me, I think we can safely say you aren’t asexual. Your trauma probably just made you scared of sexual intimacy.”
I remember staring at her like an alien had landed in front of me. This woman, who barely knew me, was telling me about my own sexual orientation? Something that had been central to my identity for years?
This is a really important, albeit uncomfortable distinction to make. For the record, I believe asexuality exists. I think it’s not insignificantly correlated with autism, though most people on the spectrum aren’t, in fact, asexual. And given psychiatry’s not-all-that-distant past’s history of treating sexuality as pathology, not only removing homosexuality as a disorder as recently in the early 70s, but bisexuality still being viewed by many doctors as a symptom of BPD, usually as part of the criteria of having an “unstable identity,” it makes talking about the intersection of trauma and sexuality difficult, to say the least.
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As pride month comes to an end, I wanted to post a thing. Please forgive the large amount of text in the thing! Also I tried to throw in a picture!!
So, I usually don't talk about sexuality or relationships. This is partially because I'm just reserved (and fine, a bit prudish too), partially because I've only recently figured out myself, and partially because I feel like I don't need these spaces as much as other people, and it's selfish to claim them.
On that last point, my own identities are more quietly invisible, and less under direct attack, than others. Asexuality is dismissed and erased, but people believing it isn't a real thing is not as damaging as actual physical harm or denial of human rights. It's "weird" but it's not seen as violating anyone's religion or "family values" or lifestyle, or whatever else is used to justify violence and bigotry against others. (Unless you count men who are offended you don't want to be Graced with the Royal Penis after getting an unsolicited dick pic.) Bi- and pansexuality are more dramatically erased, and with additional risks, but at least I'm placed under the umbrella of "has a serious boyfriend." Either way, I've either been pushed out of communities or simply felt like I didn't need them. The latter 90% of the time.
Regardless, here I am going on about it anyway! Placing my flag on pride month. My identity, what I joke about being my "alphabet soup version," is panromantic demisexual. If that sounds confusing to you, don't worry, I get it. I grew up in Florida 😂 seriously though, I didn't settle on this until graduate school. Once I even did figure it out, I didn't label it until later. Most of the time, my identity is bisexual when I don't want to argue about asexuality, and asexual when I don't want to argue about bisexuality. But I want to just be more open about it.
Panromantic demisexual. Panromantic meaning romantically attracted to anyone across sex and gender (not just men, or women, or exclusively men and women). Basically "bisexual" but with romantic attraction, and without a strict binary of men and women. Demisexual meaning only sexually attracted after being emotionally involved first, for me usually romantically attracted. Basically "not into one-night stands" you could say. I guess first you need to accept that romantic and sexual attraction are two separate things, which I was not even conscious of for the longest time. Shout out to terrible sex education! 👌
I grew up confused when lumping these two things together - having crushes and wanting to date people, but simultaneously being repulsed by the idea of sexual intimacy with them (or anyone), at least for a long time. Thinking I was broken, or indecisive, or unstable. But alas! Two separate things.
The easiest example is being sexually attracted to someone, but not romantically (you don't want to date them, have emotional intimacy, etc.) "Hit it and quit it" 😂 so then, why is it so difficult the other way around? It sounds so bizarre to other people, the idea that you can be romantically attracted to someone, but not sexually. That you maybe want to hold hands and cuddle and go on cute dates with someone, but that's not a ticket to ride on (no pun intended) the Train to Bang Town. But maybe you can think of examples yourself. Maybe you had a *very* close friend, whom you spent all of your time with, whom you shared all of your secrets with, who was the first person you thought of when anything important happened to you, but NO HOMO I'M NOT GAY LIKE THAT we're just close friends. Maybe you have crushes on men and women but you only want to sleep with women. All normal! TWO SEPARATE THINGS! They can be aligned but still two separate things.
I first identified as asexual. Nope, I'm just not into anyone in that way. Even celebrity crushes, I wanted to do things like walk through parks, hang out and eat ice cream, read them poems (emo kids unite?), a number things, but none of them sexual in nature. Later on, I would date boys, but either dump them or be dumped pretty early on ("prudes" unite). Something was "off," different. I felt different. Different from what I saw in TV and movies, heard in music, in conversations of other people my age. Still, I vividly remember the day I realized what people ACTUALLY mean when they say someone is "hot." (I was too old and too naive to not know, but my brain just didn't think that way.) Not just aesthetically pleasing. The older I got, the more I felt like an alien. Probably sounded like one. "Ah, yes, his face is indeed aesthetically pleasing." ... "Take me to your leader!"
You could call me a "late bloomer," but it's not even just that. Late introspector? Late learner? Yes, I eventually did go "farther" with partners, and have lovely relationships with people who are patient and put up with me. But I still wouldn't call myself "bloomed." I'm still different from most other people. And I'm proud to not be labeling myself with things that don't reflect me.
Going back to my own development. So, I settled on "ace" and anonymously joined forums and such. It felt right... but only for a time. Eventually I felt a little different from that too. I talked with people who were aromantic, and people who were sex-repulsed. Wait a minute, is that me too? No, I dont quite feel that way. Well, what the f-
Flash forward, I finally settled on "demisexual." Okay, I'm kinda asexual, but also kinda in my sexy feelings for someone after bonding and feeling emotionally safe with them. I want to be more than friends. Maybe try out some other things, but only with you. Today I feel like demisexual is the best fit. Maybe "gray" too but I think emotional closeness is the key for me.
But wait, do I like girls too? Or do I even care what sex or gender they are? Yes, I've had intense crushes on many girls. If you want to stick with socialized norms, I liked feminine girls, and masculine girls. Eventually I liked one woman, who later identified as a man, after having his own journey through gender and sexuality (which I think is especially hard in bible-belt Jacksonville). I still thought he was cute and smart and funny.
No, I don't really care about sex or gender - I just care that you like dogs and 90s music and video games like me. Neat!
I dont really know how to end this. I'll just say, I do consider myself a member of the LGBTQIA community, in which my B stands for bisexual (but actually panromantic) and my A stands for asexual (but actually the asexuality spectrum). I'm overjoyed to see more openness and acceptance in my lifetime, and I hope that continues for kids growing up now, who may be "confused" or "indecisive" - and maybe they will not have to wait until after college to figure it out. Nuance is important in something this complex and... well, nuanced.
Thank you to anyone who read this until the bitter end!
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timestamp (For the about and verse page)
Name: Ayano Aishi.
Age: 18
Height: 5'8
Weight: 168 pounds. (She has a dense frame. More on that below)
Gender: Trans female.
Eye color: Pink.
Personality: Thoughtful, cruel, cunning, smart, somewhat charismatic, sadistic in some instances albeit of conditioning rather than of sexual need. Incredibly sweet and loving to her loved ones. Puts on a face she think suits the situation for people she doesn’t care about or trust. (More on that below)
Looks: Pretty, cute but has a strong build.
Status: Recovering from trauma.
Overall the changes I present will be more morally gray leaning and occasionally messed up as a pathway for Ayano. This is challenging the Yandere approach and while still having Ayano as a Yandere? This is challenging the narrative and I understand completely what he’s intending for some features/backstory he’s revealed before asked about this. I did my research and re-watched a lot of videos in order to make accurate statements in response. I am not condemning the game utterly as I am fully accepting if the game turns around and does things in a different, more exceptional way, but I am fully willing to admit when it’s had some bumps as well. The game afterall: is still in development regardless of how the Dev is as a person, it is subject to change as this about is as well.
Things he’s missed the point of a Yandere:
Usually? Most popular Yanderes have a tragic event or childhood to cause such a drastic twist in mental stability and personality. EVEN SO much as addressing this as such and some popular Yanderes have gotten happy endings with everyone living or somehow reversed or it ends in tragedy in certain cases.
Yandere characters in the archetype generally as a rule DON’T WIN as their delusions and instability is toxic and usually end in their defeat or apprehension. This isn’t set in stone but overall an inevitably as that’s the main point of characters with the archetype: they’re harmful to themselves more than anyone else.
My Ayano never ‘wins’ her Senpai as he either ends up dead or she’s stopped by Megami and then rehabilitated by her in her main verse when Megami can’t sit idly by and see Ayano be far better than her mother in the need of help, Megami comes off far too morally righteous to allow that to happen. And then for her ‘bad end verses’, she’s confined to get help and her father spends the rest of his days in regret for not acting sooner. Her mother dies frequently however via execution after trial from what she’s done to Ayano, her father, along with her countless victims or is confined. Or she is simply killed by Ayano in her main verse after kidnapping a few ‘loose ends’. (More on that below)
Changes to her character’s interactions with others along with fluff info:
She will have some habits and customs from japanese culture. Her skirt will be at knee-length along with the other highschool girls for an actual dress code to a high standards school. Along with the changing of uniforms as? While I think he explained it, they still look far too middleschool for my tastes but the student council uniforms can mostly stay the same other than skirt length.
There will be no panty shots for Info-chan and instead she will be gathering information through various means and ways.
To go with the fanart and concepts that I’ve seen in canon videos and what not, I’ve decided to give Ayano the trait, Ocular albinism: meaning her eye color is pink.
Ayano unless in certain verses is less likely to murder as that makes zero sense as why she’d jump straight to that as Senpai wouldn’t love a murderer. Granted, she would use it as a last resort if there was no other option or time. However, she sees little to no reason why she shouldn’t murder or even torture actual ‘murderers’ in her eyes, or pedophiles along with others as in the worst of the worst.
In most scenarios with a physical confrontation or a forced one, Ayano will be keeping her identity a secret with a mask and beat up her target usually rather than outright killing them. Using intimidation, manipulation and cruelty in extreme circumstances to get what she wants.
Ayano is capable of becoming hyper fixated on other people once she gets over ‘Senpai’ in her recovering verse due to her disorders. Or the rp partner’s muse in question can outright be her Senpai.
Regarding my Ayano’s Ocular Albinism: aka why her eye color is pink. I never really specified her eye color exactly other than pink and how her emotions reflect it. So as you notice, you see blatant red on even my theme for her eyes and other artwork he’s made to have Ayano? And due to me liking the concept and explaining it as an extreme case of Ocular Albinism? I’ve further gone to say that while her eye color is pink? Depending on her emotions, such as getting angrier or feeling intense emotions of love? It can become darker shades of pink, even resembling a pinkish red. This actually happens in real life with our own eyes to a degree of becoming darker or lighter colors or sometimes partially different colors altogether depending on our moods, but Ayano’s being far more severe in pigment change. And because of ocular sensitivity? I’ve decided to give her protective contact lenses she wears over them as while she can go without them? It is uncomfortable on brighter days.
Changes to character’s mental state and addressing the ableist outlook placed upon her by the Dev.
Overall, while Yandere Syndrome is a fictional mental illness, Yandere Dev has confirmed she’s a ‘sociopath’ and a ‘psychopath’ whenever it’s convenient for him and the reasoning behind this is that even as a sociopath or psychopath, and there are actual ‘normal’ terms for that: as sociopath = anti social personality disorder. They’re literally JUST personality disorders that are often demonized and portrayed incorrectly and this game is no exception in that, look up the myths and do your research- these people can live happy lives if they get help either through self-help or third party to be more comfortable and happier. Regardless, morally righteous or not? The mental illness aspect of the game is poorly written and overall I don’t expect much out of his explanation why she has her ‘bizarre’ condition but also apparently actual conditions that are demonized by him. As using a fictional mental illness but also subtly demonizing existing ones and even incorporating them into your own character whilst having a fictional one? Like, make up your mind.
Literally you could have taken a ‘normal’ person and put them in the exact same scenario and they could’ve react the same way. As not to get political? But look at mass shootings and highschool murders and stabbing cases- perps more often than not are morally fucked rather than having anything MENTALLY ILL about them. So while I’m fully okay with her being mentally ill and explaining why she’s doing the things she does? You do not jump from point A to point Z. You go from A to B to C and so on. That’s poor writing otherwise for a character as I understand ‘a reflection of the player’ as a blank slate to project onto, but overall he basically admitted to giving up on the character’s personality and story, then contradicted himself in making her a backstory.
Moving onto Ayano’s backstory: ‘Doctors knew she wasn’t ‘normal’, her parents knew she wasn’t ‘normal’ and her father instead of helping her cope? Tried to make her normal and her mother did nothing to help. Her teachers did NOTHING to stop the bullying it seems when she was younger and overall forced herself to act ‘normal’ and is numb 24/7’. That is the biggest copout for a character, as she is shown to have emotions when it suits him but she’s emotionless apparently? This whole narrative creates an unintentional sympathetic outlook on Ayano.
Why?
Her parents failed her, her father kept trying for her to be normal instead of getting her actual help. Her mother PROBABLY made it worse as why does a Highschool Girl know how to torture and mentally break people and brainwash them into her mindslaves to kill themselves afterward? It was Ryoba’s doing for how I’m making it and that’s incredibly damaging mentally for a child. (More on that below) Her doctors KNEW something was wrong at an early age? And she’d never be normal and instead of getting her therapy? They did nothing. She was bullied and while she didn’t mind it? Her teachers did nothing.
Society failed to help the little girl known as Ayano Aishi.
Now moving onto my Ayano’s actual mental and personality disorders: she’s a sociopath, has extreme obsession issues and severe ingrained trauma with needs for violence or isolation for the people she ‘needs’. Has varying levels of mental stability and coherency depending on the circumstances and can become extremely unstable.
Ayano’s actual emotions and character will actually exist instead of a ‘blank slate’ which he later contradicted himself with his backstory video of Ayano Aishi and that actually GAVE a lot of unintentional depth to her as a character as- ok, well I see why she’s messed up now as being numb 24/7 even when she has shown actual emotions in genuine response in the game and in his cutscenes. So yes, my Ayano is an actual person and for her ‘recovering verse’ and even outside of it. And has BECOME numb from everything as? That whole ‘numb’ narrative could still be kept if it was explained better.
Her mother and father and how they interact with her differently.
Ryoba’s mother has been conditioning her since she was seven for murder, starting her on animals to begin with and eventually moving her onto actual people when she was around ten to torture, murder and make into mindslaves as practice as she was ‘just like her’- as literally there’s no explanation why she knows how to do this other than ‘she’s a monster’ and that’s the biggest cop-out ever and demonization of a mentally ill highschool girl. Ryoba keep in mind while thinking about this as why I have her do this: IS A CANON rapist. As? Kidnapping someone, and coercing them and conditioning them into sex is actual rape no matter how you want to explain it and if even he came to agree to it eventually. That’s? Sex under duress and that’s actual rape. I feel as though Ryoba is underutilized in Ayano’s backstory due to her history and how she is, as I do explain her ability to instantly kill people in some instances from the physical training she received throughout her life from her mother. As some weapons would require MASSIVE amounts of strength to kill someone instantly with, yet Ayano can with ease in some cases and knows where to stab and so on and so forth and how to fight. That’s why she has such a weight because her frame is so massively dense and yes, there are people like this who exist- she packs a lot of power in that body of hers.
Her father in summary? Is a traumatized victim of rape and kind of an idiot as he actually never bothered to get his daughter actual help. And I blame this on the higher stigma toward mental illnesses in Japan for flavor text albeit Yandere Dev being shortsighted in plot devices as a possibility.
My Ayano and her place in the school:
She is considered a relatively popular and well known girl in the school that’s part of the student council, known for being oddly helpful even outside of her student council duties. Though she is somewhat intimidating with her physique and intelligence to other students but is highly admired, her personality often disputed and argued about as she adapts it to the situation. Though most are unknowing to this other than Megami.
Ayano’s likes from her partner(s). She likes to be laid on while intense smooching ensues. Likes to be held or partially cradled while sitting in their lap, perhaps fully cradled if they’re strong enough for it. Likes to sit on their lap preferably while being held from behind around her waist. Likes to hug with her legs whenever she can whether being laid on for smooching or sitting in their lap in reverse so she’s facing them. It can be purely chaste most of the time in the gesture, but can lead into intimacy. Likes neck and collarbone kisses leading up to her lips. Likes being petted. Ayano favors feeling like she’s soft so that’s why she does or likes these things done to her.
Picture reference for Ayano’s body build:
Ayano’s religion.
Ayano’s religion is known as ‘Shinto’ it was the state religion of Japan until 1945 and is as ancient as the culture itself. I don’t know TOO much of the practices of Shinto as it involves rituals and offerings, along with other bits of my research obtaining a basic understanding. Which reminded me of appeasing the vengeful spirits/kami/demons in-game. Along with the fact that they come as more akin to Yokai and an Aragami (other than the Succubus which I later found out there’s a term for actually being: Akuma as a western demon) more than anything to me? All mechanically will or can be offered gifts, tasks, and sacrifices for great boons in-game. So while I’ll be using this to explain how she can communicate and ask for their services from great, and hard tasks given in exchange for massive boons: I will be using this as a baseline to explain that she is naturally connected spiritually and quite heavily, as the occult club constantly try to summon the supernatural, but fail to every single week in comparison to Ayano who can just put a knife into a skull and bam- she did it, she can talk to them (Which might be made harder later to do, but we’ll see. He hasn’t mentioned anything regarding the mechanic). Albeit I will not go too much into the Shinto religion regarding the Aragami, as I feel I wouldn’t be able to accurately represent it and I don’t wish to appropriate holy or sacred practices.
The ‘three demons’, aka the dismembered Aragami, the flame Yokai, and the western ‘demon’ that’s an Akuma and the ancient evil. All four of these will have extensive plot-lines and rp potential if someone wishes to utilize them in an rp or have Ayano delve into it. Note that her interactions with these beings overtime may be subject to change, but her religion regarding Shinto and family origins will NOT unless I am shown otherwise it’s satisfactory story-line in canon wise.
The Aragami.
The ‘demon’ or Aragami that demands dismemberment comes off to me as an Aragami, which is those who are killed without being shown gratitude for their sacrifice: will hold a great grudge after death and become powerful and evil Kami who seek revenge known as an ‘Aragami’. The great Kami is ultimately appeased and befriends Ayano, albeit its great power will not be used often as that comes off to me as blatantly disrespectful to her religion. And instead will only be utilized under dire circumstances.
The Yokai.
The Yokai, the ‘flame demon’ comes off as more a spiritual, supernatural monster rather than an Aragami with his speech. And instead will simply have been appeased through odd, quirky means as some Yokai often are. His powers while still used more often, will still be rarely used as the powers of the supernatural can be devastating.
The Akuma.
I’ve flavor texted the clear western demon as a ‘foreign exchange demon’ for humor purposes, but also more accurately being known as an ‘Akuma’ that through various means, has befriended Ayano. As there is a term for a literal western demon apparently and can function as another term for another demon? And she is a Succubus currently quite evidently so she’s an Akuma for now.
The ancient evil.
I’ve flavored texted this seemingly new feature that may be implemented as a great, evil and ancient Yokai that through various means has been soothed and appeased by Ayano and currently has never been used for a boon due to its great and terrible power.
You may be asking yourself at this point? Why would Ayano be religious? Why would she even remotely care about abusing the power of Yokai, Kami, or an Akuma for the sake of her own gain to easily obtain ‘Senpai’? Why would she care about ANY of what I’ve said above? Well, I will be explaining this now, using her family origins and adding a sense of greater depth and potentially a greater mystery into a redesign of the game.
Ayano’s family origins.
To explain Ayano’s upbringing, along with slight insight into Ryoba’s own motivations into why she conditioned her daughter in such an extreme way physically and mentally, along with teaching her holy practices: is that Ryoba’s family sect dates back to an ancient and dark time of Japan where human life was valued very little that followed the family line in traditions and practices up to Ayano’s bloodline that progressively got worse as time went on in mentality.
To explain what the Aishi family’s sect was like in the past: they were highly religious, traditional and information gatherers for their leaders, along with being torturers and breaking people mentally to subjugate and break their spirit after capturing them to obtain vital information, and that’s where the art first began and overtime became honed into why: Ayano, a Highschool Girl has the knowledge to turn people into literal mindslaves with almost zero to needed requirements stat wise. (He might change this later, but he has made ZERO mention to it as he has with other things, so for now? I doubt it)
Why have I made it this way?
Mainly to incorporate things from the game rather than being a simple club accessory into a more compelling story with a sense of mystery even though I basically laid it all out for you as to why she acts the way she does and her family- as it is just a concept but a concept that’s currently more fitting to me than the current iteration. And why she can do and engage in certain things, rather than use a ‘bizarre mental illness that also is seemingly actual ones’ as a plot device to explain certain mechanics, along with the fact of knowing how to properly utilize poison among other killing mechanics, granted you need certain stats before doing that? Ayano needs to have a reason WHY she would know to be able to jump from point A to B to C and so on with that logic.
As for story-line? While I made it that this is rooted in tradition can seem highly unlikely as actually possible: for there are traditions in this world that have been going on for generations. In fact, some of even the most popular plot-lines in popular Japanese anime have involved outdated or dogmatic practices and traditions as being something they need to overcome together as a whole.
All verses will be typed as exactly in bold to separate them from one another. Ultimately there is a canon verse to this blog, but it is up to you the player rper decide on kind of path you want Ayano on to interact with your muse.
Eyes on you.
Ayano is fixated on the muse she is rping with and sees them as her ‘Senpai’ or person she wants to be forever with by any means necessary. This can be countered with the muse knowing and helping Ayano through her condition. This tag is limited to no specific muse so long as they’re in her age range as she can even become fixated on her ‘rivals’ for how casual I’m willing to be with this. Do tell me if you want it to be AFTER she gets help, as Ayano will attempt to kidnap them prior to being abducted by Megami to get help when Megami can’t sit idly by any longer. Muse must be in 2-3 years within age range for this to apply or be considered.
Hugs on you.
A recovered Ayano can be a ‘yandere’ for her friends or made family. To give an idea of how this tag differs from the other one: she’s completely loving as she is in her romantic fixations, though her actions are completely chaste in intention.
Living again.
Ayano’s main verse is recovering from a lifetime of trauma and overall did not follow in her mother’s footsteps completely, taking a morally gray stance in eliminating her rivals, doing her best to not traumatize anyone but making them back off through intimidation and possibly violence with her identity masked or befriending them on accident in the goal for Senpai’s affection but also from her own sense of warped morals. Only resorting to murder with the worst of the worst and while she did a lot of bad? She also did a lot of good and saved people albeit in order to be with Senpai, never murdering anyone outside of what her mother conditioned her with privately and forced her into.
In this main verse: she is living with Megami after killing Ryoba to save her and a few of her other rivals that were considered ‘loose ends that knew too much by her’. Megami is the one who originally apprehended Ayano after piecing things together and unable to idly standby while Ayano was in need of help and needed to be stopped, rehabilitating her in the process with therapy and freeing her from that fixation she had on Senpai as she saw the good in Ayano from an outside perspective but also on a personal level. Note: the Megami I’m rping with can be romantically involved with Ayano if they desire, that is up to them or to assume a more familial relationship, helping her deal with the tragedy she endured and protecting her during the initial reveal and overall therapy Ayano needs.
Note: this verse can start at any point in time of the verse, even so much as the first day of back to school.
Masked.
The mask itself is hard to rip off and you’d practically have to hurt her in the process to forcibly remove it fully. But it resembles that of something faceless and can only be seen out of, but not into. Its pure white in design and the material is easily washed and disposable. She has a voice distorter while this is on that makes her sound further intimidating, though she mainly did this on purpose- as rather than sound robotic. It sounds multi-toned, calm, soothing and yet eerie.
No going back.
Ayano has resorted to murder of the innocent and also has no qualms about framing, or traumatizing anyone to get what she wants. This follows a ‘bad end’ route for the rp and will eventually result in Ayano apprehended by Megami and her forces and temporarily locked away for several years to get help with Megami’s intervention. With her mother imprisoned for extreme child abuse, murder, rape, and so on with possibly being put on death row? Ayano has to live with her actions for the rest of her life as Megami takes responsibility for her as I see her as the type of person to look at her father and just: ‘You’re bad at this, I’m taking over now’ with how morally righteous I see her as.
text
Interactions but online, as in if Ayano was using the internet on the actual website itself: tumblr. As there are a lot of canon interactions in the game on her phone? So it works as she will age in real time in this verse: she is currently only 17 right now.
tw (insert trigger here)
Exactly how it is. So tw blood, tw stalking and so on and it will be under a readmore anyway if it’s extreme violence and torture.
A Yokai’s scorn.
There are some muses that clash far too much with Ayano’s world to properly interact with her. So I’ve decided to give her a supernatural verse.
I’ve decided to make Ayano a mixture of immortal spirits for what kind of Japanese Spirit/Demon or ‘Yokai’ she’d be and I was leaning more towards spirits than anything.
Her inspiration:
Betobeto-San
Betobeto-san is a formless specter, and is only recognizable by the telltale sound it makes – the “beto beto” sound of wooden sandals clacking on the ground.
People who walk the streets alone at night sometimes encounter this harmless but nonetheless disturbing yokai. It synchronizes its pace with walkers and follows them as long as it can, getting closer and closer with each step. For the victims, this can be quite traumatic. The haunting sound of footsteps follows them wherever they go, but every time they turn around to see what is following them, they find nothing.
Teke Teke
As a young school boy was walking home at night, he spotted a beautiful young girl standing by a windowsill resting on her elbows. They smiled at each other for a moment. The boy wondered what a girl was doing in an all-boys school, but before he could wonder more about the girl she jumped out of the window and revealed her lower half was missing. Frightened, he stood in the sidewalk, but before he could run, she cut the boy in half and the boy was found dead but his lower half was missing.
What Ayano is and how she functions:
Ayano was born from human sadness, loneliness, love and yearning. That’s how she came into existence is manifesting from those innate desires, often seeking out those who wander alone with the same ones. Thus her willingness to grant boons without a question so long as it does not conflict with her own warped morals.
Basically I’ll be taking this as Ayano is a ‘born spirit’ and while immortal, can be dispelled temporarily or fought back if the person is supernatural themselves but as imagined? Can be hard to deal with as most of the time once angered, as Ayano at first is harmless and will simply follow lone travelers as a wandering spirit, having no disfigurements and appearing as a young Japanese Teenage Girl in traditional garments and only allowing glimpses to be seen before vanishing completely, though the clack of her sandals can still be heard.
Eventually, after a day of off and on stalking during the night, the spirit will converse with the traveler on really any topic at night. Maybe the weather, their lover, or even what era it is- the possibilities and accounts have been numerous. Albeit, there are occasions where the spirit will become enamored with the traveler she’s following if they’re a young teenager such as she, pursuing them more frequently and even flirting or complimenting them and capable of physical contact. However… if the spirit is rejected harshly or told to go away in any circumstance whether enamored or not other than politely and calmly asking to be left be: a farming scythe will appear in her hand as blood begins dripping from her eyes and a great wound appearing on her abdomen shows with entrails hanging partially out, the Yokai will then pursue relentlessly until her victim is mutilated and brutally murdered with a vicious smile. Then vanishing with the remains to who knows where.
Though if appeased after seven days and humored in her dealings, the spirit is capable of giving great rewards or even taking one favor and will fulfill it without question so long as it doesn’t conflict with their own warped moral code. However if simply asked to be left alone peacefully after three times each time she disappears and then reappears later, the spirit will leave and give no reward or punishment. But will give no reward if asked to leave even once if the duration is met to its end.
Often many times, the spirit will attack people who respond in fright in the heat of the moment, as it needs to be done ‘politely and calmly’ with no sense of hostility or horror. So as you can imagine? Things get quite messy at times for those not in the know of Ayano and her ways.
Weapon reference so people don’t get confused and think of the western version of a farming scythe.
The home.
Her home essentially is her own heart which consists of an endless hallway of flesh that constantly beats and convulses as if well- you guessed it: a heart. Inside, she sits on a regular mat when dormant if not seeking or being sought out with her offerings or gifts she has received over the thousands of years, the walls lining with countless masks of her victim’s faces that she carefully carves off and then places onto a wall to dry and harden and reform. The masks once taken shape, resemble the victim’s face almost exactly, albeit their eyes are merely darkened holes as if to see out and simply look like ordinary masks, having her own ‘special section’ for her victims she’s been fixated on that’s deeper inside her heart’s winding chambers. Although… visitor’s under her protection will often find themselves feel as though the masks themselves are following them with their empty eyes.
The leftover flesh is absorbed and essentially consumed as it becomes a part of Ayano’s ‘home’. This is to ease the emptiness she feels eternally in her ‘heart’ and that’s why she keeps her victims close to it, or well, more literally inside of it as a part of it. Taking the phrase ‘keep them close to your heart’ rather literally.
Habits.
She’ll often take the masks of her victims to temporarily meld onto her face to admire herself with their face and build.
She collects the faces of her victims to fill the eternal emptiness in her heart.
She is willing to trade faces with people from the victims she’s acquired of their own choosing, thus ‘visitor’s under her protection’ are a possibility when picking out and trying out masks for the ‘face trader’. The trader themselves will be able to either keep the face and build or simply the face, but never just the build. Albeit can leave some parts of the body unaltered, such as if the person in question is simply transgender and doesn’t wish for their sex to be changed as well or someone who wishes to change it entirely along with looks if they’re transsexual. The participant must be specific or Ayano will simply leave them in the new un-altered body if they wish for the build as well.
If simply asked for a boon when sought out via things to attract her, Ayano will fulfill this without question if there is no trade conducted. What this means: later on, without warning as years or simply weeks passed, Ayano will absorb them completely as if stalking them with the clacks of her sandals. However, when they turn around? Well… I’ll let that be a surprise for whoever wants their muse to find out as their face will appear in her heart’s wall.
She deems it as you always have to give her something if you want a boon, even if it’s yourself.
Will trick others into giving themselves to her when they ask for boons if she sees that it’s possible.
Is extremely affectionate to the few friends she makes. Will revisit previous companions she’s granted boons to with no strings attached to simply enjoy their company. Especially if she’s fixated on them.
A few powers to simply list them off.
Immortality, albeit not invincible but can return from being vanquished or forced away.
Reincarnating others through budding them in a large flesh cocoon that instantly hatches once dropped from her hand: this is necessary for a ‘face-trade’. And to take inspiration off certain myths and shows.
Absorption/Soul Absorption.
Dimensional travel and having a dimensional plane of her own.
Limited shape-shifting so long as she has the mask.
Limited wish granting.
Using her victim’s mask to form ethereal and formless wearers of it to deliver messages in her voice.
(Maybe more to be added later, I might be forgetting some)
How to seek her out and appease her rather than herself finding you.
Traditional offerings or sacrifices whether great ones or personal ones regarding loneliness, along with food and incense to attract her. Alternatively, you use a charm given to you by her, and while greeting offerings aren’t necessary after befriending her? They’re greatly appreciated and could actually earn you her friendship.
To trade with her.
It must be exceptional and befitting of a Yokai. Whether it’s an offered task to do for them such as to expand their influence to others with great statues, writings or knowledge, or to perform something at the request of Ayano on her terms if accepted. Or a grand sacrifice for a grand boon or a small sacrifice for a small boon.
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Neptonians*
are best described as humanoid alien beings with an android like body system that has the ability to connect to various technology such as computers, phones, Irken PAKs, other Neptonians, ect.
*- Origial Speices
Name of Species:
Neptonians*
Origin/Home wold:
Neptonia
Avg. Life Span:
2,400 Years
-Neptonians live long lives because their planet spins faster than Earth.
1 day on Neptonia is 3 Earth days - One Neptonia month is 20 days.
Ave Height:
Ranges from 7Ft to 8Ft
Intelligence level:
Average to Above Average.
Notable groups/people:
Elders, Royals, Class S.
Hostility:
Friend shaped, low violence/Pacifist. Can become Violent if provoked for too long unless unstable and/or corrupted.
Open
or Closed Species
As of
02/10/18 Current planet statues:
Shared
Genders:
Vix (Translates to Inter)
Vanix (Translates to Outer)
Ix (Hatch lings up to 100 year olds are called this regardless of their gender.)
Class Types:
Elders
Royals
Class S (Single adults, strategist & survivalist with high compatibility to Royals) 27% Population
Class A (Single adults, hunting-gatherers) 34% Population
Class B (Paired, Soul bounded) 43.8% of population.
Class C (This class is mostly children from hatch lings to 100 years old) 15%
Allies: Lavidian*
, Vortian, Irken (Non invaders), Quon'ian*, Siyans*, Arkhav*, Uquama*.
Enemies: Irken (Invaders), Arkhav??*(They're not 100% sure what's up with them), any species that threatens their peace and planet.
Race Types:
Solar (Active mostly during the day, given more of a heated job)
Lunar (Active mostly at night, given more of a cooling job)
Eclipse (Mixture, can handle both cooling and heated jobs, tend to be more unstable)
Special characteristics:
They have no sexual dimorphism.
All Neptonians are Panromatic, they do not see gender/gender roles the same way Earthlings or other species do.
Neptonians tend to go by Them/They pronouns unless they identity differently on another species home world. (Ex. On Nova's planet she would go by them/they but on another plant such as Irken or on Earth Nova would go by her/she by her own choice.)
Neptonians communicate telepathically to each other, especially on their planet. They learned other languages to better communication with other species.
Make clicking, chirping, purring, hissing, high and low pitched sounds to check surrounding areas, out of curiosity or anger. They emotions can also be detected through their sounds.
Egg layers
Both Genders Produce milk for their young, both can carry and lay eggs.
Are Heteropaternal Superfecundation, meaning if the Nep has multiple partners, their eggs can be from at least one of each partner.
They can be in poly relationships, however, all partners are excepted to date one another. There are no favorites and they can not hide nor hog a partner. If they wanted to bring someone into their relationship they would all have to agree and take care of each other.
Neptonians can have soul mates. These soul mates are usually from their past lives soul bounding and follows them for the rest of their souls existence or was a selected fated partner from their deity. (Marriage of the soul, bounded for life. Divorcing a soul bound is impossible. The only way a soul bound can end is if one of the partner's soul fades away. A faded soul can not return for another life) They can also be born in different time frames then their soul mates, which causes them to pair with another partner and could lead too a possibility of another soul mate in their next life.
The long skin part of a Neptonian's head is called a Radar, the Radar can open up if they are curious, startled or angry/threatened to reveal feather like hair that's thicker than their tails. While the little object at the end is called a Router which floats in place by a magnetic force. It opens up to show different types of wire that can comes out and plugs up to what ever the Neptonian wants it too. The wires never fully come out, they can form any type of connection wire they need, the limit they can have out at one time is 6.
Can see in the dark, eyes can be reflective and glow.
More Facts:
They believe that all members of their society are equals, they are all treated equally regardless of Class.
Their justice system however is hierarchical, meaning that those with higher social status are allowed to make certain judgements while those with low social status are not. Only the ruling elites (Elders, Royals or Class S's) are allowed to kill or punish one of their own species if deemed harmful/hazardous or cannibal, with proof of this claim and approvals from other higher ups. After a court case is made and they were found guilty the punishment to those who do these crimes are granted banishment or death.
They have high level forms of reincarnation through their blood lines. Their children are born with basic knowledge of life and survive thanks to that. They can not remember past life memories, thous allowing them to be their own person even with the knowledge from previous lives. When Neptonians die their name and memories disappear and join a garden of souls (which I haven't picked the name of yet). They can get small flash backs but no straight forward memories. Neptonians are mostly born but during special occasions their Deity can create another life and send them to their chosen family. This child could be normal or made “Blank”.
“Blank” as their species calls it is when a child is born with the soul purpose of being a vassal, a clone of the parent so if their parent were to die the body would be available to relive life though as their own but they lose some of their previous memories. “Blanks” can walk and move on their own or be sealed away for protection but they do not speak much, unless they start to form their own consciousness. Nova was originally born “Blank”, she is proof that a Blank can become their own person. She was originally her mothers vassal, Nova is not the first born vassal to gain life for themselves and she most definitely will not be the last.
Being “Blank” is not a bad thing, it is very common for at least one child in 100 years to be born Blank. Being Blank does not harm the child in anyway. This is also a good way to get a fresh start on new generations of Neptonians without past believes or knowledge confusing them. About 20% of Blanks actually stay vassals, most grow up as their own being and continue new ways of learning and life. They are also known to be called “born in reverse” which means instead of them feeling at the beginning of their life they are born with no feelings at all.
Neptonians usually lose all their emotions before passing so they go in peace and not suffer, Blanks however do not. They are born emotionless and will gain more emotions through their lives, meaning they will feel everything whenever they pass.
Neptonian's skin is made up a thousands of advance cells, allowing them to be able to regrow their flesh at a quick pace. This skin can also be removed and placed onto other species to help regrown missing flesh or bone, this also stops their skin from being scarred unless the wound was life threatening, then a scar is let as a reminder.
Their skin is always moving on their body, it can't be seen with the naked eye or felt but can be observed super close up.
Memory or history info: They have an interesting why of storing memory or history data. Most the time it stays with them but they can have backup files saved in certain devices just in case if a reboot accidentally wipes their memories. They prefer to have at least 2 devices to have things saved. For an example, a laptop or a cell phone. If they loss memory of something or want something removed from them they can connect to this device and download the info on themselves or upload info for later. If that device gets lost or destroyed all the stuff they put into will be wiped, if missing/lost/stolen can be wiped from it's syncing with the Neptonian.
If you hire a Neptonian as an assistant, you don't have to worry about having any type of electronic device near by. But you do have to worry about, food, (Depending on the Nep) Attitude, them deleting emails if they look fishy.
Hackers: It's very rare for them to be hacked due to them being organic but you can temporary stun or block them. The only thing that could hack other Neptonian would be another Neptonian. Most are forbidden to do so without permission from a higher class but in emergencies, it can be looked past.
Sicknesses: They can get a virus if the hacking Neptonian isn't strong enough to kill it off. They can faint or have blurring vision during this time. The virus will be treated like a sickness and with good rest, food and medication they'll be just fine. A good way of keeping virus from your Neptonian is by letting them eat a lot of fruit. So the more fruit they eat the less likely a virus would affect them. Still not immune to viruses but it works well. Some viruses can cause high fever and leave the Nep feeling sick for days. Be careful and treat your sick Nep well.
Drugs and alcohol: I changed this one recently, they are able to drink and depending on the individual depends how they react to it. Neptonians have no use for drugs unless they can be made into medication to heal others. This being said they can be victims of drugs being mixed into their foods if it's a low enough dose for them not to detect by smell.
They have 12 tiny face senors that they smell through, if a Nep is rubbing their face against something, they're most likely trying to smell it.
Territory: They are extremely territorial, but will allow others to pass through their area if non threatening. If you do something to their territory or things they claimed as territory, you better have a very good reason for it or ran.
Connecting a Neptonian to another Neptonian: They do not mind doing this, if they both link up they can chat and show each others memories while they heal each other. Neither of them would be able to move or talk during this time, it's dangerous to do this outside or around strangers.
Sleep mode: This is more for naps than really sleeping, can be easily woken up. Since 1 Nep day is 3 Earth days they need at least 2 naps during the 3 days then they will go to sleep for 18 hours.
Relationships: It is impossible for an Neptonian to cheat on their lover/pair. They are very loyal and very affectation, their actions speak louder than words. They can seeing if a relationship is worth it, and if they are mistreated or feel abused they will break up and move on.
Other species dating: They can date other species however Class S's and Royals are very picky, Class A's are not as picky. Compatibility of another species is determined by mind, soul and determination. Neptonian's do tend to avoid relationships with humans or other species that their compatibility is so low that can bring more danger for their children than good.
Searching: The shiny part of their antennas are not attached and spin around when in use, this gives them less friction to search for info while hacking, they can do this wireless or with their routers. If they search too much, their antennae can get sensitive. Now this can be an uncomfortable sensitive or a stimulating sensitive depending on the Neptonian. Then it annoys them if they search for too long.
"Emotionless": These are Neptonains that have regrown their heart and or brain more then 4 times, most likely soldiers. They are completely removed of their emotions and sense of feeling. These can't be re healed either. If their hand gets cut off, it won't grow back again.
Digesting: They eat rocks and gems/crystals to smash up all the bigger things they can't digest easily and what ever is left, they cough up. Bones and left over metals are two things they can't completely digest.
They eat pretty much everything except plastics or aluminum. If eaten the Neptonian will try to cough it up or throw up, those are more toxic towards them.
Neptonians have "breeding periods" which is every 3 months and last for 3 days. Both Vix's and Vanix's have it. They can be seen as aggressive during this time, want a lot of attention or to be left alone. Their first breeding period will be at the age of 120. Neptonians can only get pregnant during this time.
Neptonians have two hearts, two stomachs, two lungs, one brain and 4 arms. Their arms are usually fused together, if needed their bones in that around are split, they can split their arms into 2 pieces. Giving them temporary 4 arms however their arms are the strongest fused together.
Neptonian marriage is called "Soul bonding" It merges the paired souls together, this connects both partners together and helps them understand each other better wants and needs without being said. It is taken very seriously and can be only preformed by a Royal or the Deity. It can not be broken or undone unless one of the lovers has passed away and their soul has faded.
Neptonians love sleeping piles, the more Neps in the pile the safer they feel and warm they feel.
They do not use the bathroom, all their food gets turned into energy which causes them to look for food often. What ever they don't eat or digest gets coughed up.
Questions:
Is changing Class Possible??: Yes it is! Class S's and A's are very much alike, the only thing setting them apart is learning/training/fighting skills. S Classes can become Classes and A Classes can become S Classes with enough skills and self motivation.
What Class Neptonian is their army?: Most army types are from Class A who wants to train to move up to Class S or Class S's stepping down to Class A to help with Training future Class S's.
Why are Royals more compatible to Class S's only?: Class S's are seen as fit to lead/understanding their surrounds and people, they receive heavy training once ranked and are looked at as leaders and guides. Which makes them more compatible with a Royal due to Neptonians strict rules on who rules with who.
Why does that matter, what does the partner gain?: A Neptonian or any species chosen to be paired with a Royal is more likely to be Soul bounded, thus giving that individual a Royal gem to match their partner's. Royal gems can be very dangerous in the wrong hands, especially another species who's body may or may not be able to withstand it that's why rules of compatibly to Royals are so strict.
What do Class B's do? That really depends on them as an individual, most help out/take care of their tribe/town and watch over the younger Neps while others are out hunting for meals for their families or tribe with the training Classes.
How do they not slip when they run or turn quickly with their tiny feet???: They can slip and fall at times, ahah. What keeps them from doing so often is their feet bones are not connected in the center, giving them a more flexible space to use for balance. Imagine them having 2 long toes but they're made of bone and hidden under their skin. Some times this skin can break when they need more grip, causing their skin to temporally separate inches apart from each other then come back together to reform their tiny feet.
Can any other part of a Nep separate? Yes! Neptonians hands have that ability, it can split up to their shoulders. 3 fingers on the top hand while 2 are at the bottom. Their jaws are also not attached to each other in the middle! Sometimes a Nep can bite off more than they can chew, if they wish to shallow something whole they will split their jaw in the middle and open up their throat passage for easier eating access.
Do they use holograms often, are their hologram wings usable for flight?: They use holograms very often, however their holo wings are not usable for flight. They do like to look pretty and show off during festivals, for partners or to wow guests. Neps, fortunately for their prey, can't fly, with the exception for Royal's who use their Royal gems to glide around, I highly doubt you want one of them to flying any time soon. They can jump pretty high though, they can jump about as tall as they are.
How do I know if a Neptonian is corrupted?: A Quick Tip! Ask them to show you a hologram, either their wings or an image. DO NOT ask them to plug into a computer or another device if you believe they may be corrupted, anything they plug into will also become corrupted. If they are corrupted, the image or holo wings will look normal at first but then become more and more scattered or glitched out.
What about when they get hurt physically, if their antenna got ripped off would it just grow back? They can easily grow their antennas back, but if their router gets cut off that will mess them up for a while until they get used to it being missing. Which can take a really long time.
If they're plugged into a computer and there is a massive power surge, what happens to them? There would be a problem. Memory lost can happen and sometimes their attitudes can change completely, think rebooting and reinstalling 'software'. At least for 3 days. Then after a reboot, they're back to normal again.
Being living computers can they swim?/Do they short circuit in water/conductive liquids? They can swim and unless their drinking it down while swimming it will not affect them. They can drown if they're not too careful, swallowing too much water can weigh them down and have a hard time swimming. They do have a buddy system just in case one can't swim the other can help. When that happens they stay away from the water for a few days. Some Neptonians don't like to get near the water at all. (Example, Nova loves water but fears the deep parts so she like to stay in the shallow waters for safety reasons while Derrek will jump in the deep parts with no worry.)
Why do they have tails? Their tails are used for balancing, with their heads being heavy due to the Radar their tails help maintain their balance. The tails can be long or short depending on the individual. 5) How long would it take for a newly hatched Neptonian to gain its color fully? About 24 hours.
How many eggs can they lay each breeding period? They can lay 1 to 4 eggs at a time.
Can Nep Ix's walk as soon as they're hatched?: Yes, There isn't really a crawling stage, they figure that after they start walking. Think of it like baby deer, they have to get used to their legs and how to balance. They will fall a lot in this time, so the parents are always close by.
Is it safe to approuch a Nep nest with or without the parents near by: NO! They are always around their young and are not afraid to attack anything or one that gets too close to their nest and young. Neptonians never leave their young unsupervised, they are either giving them space to play or have another Neptonian they trust present.
Are Neps ever hunted? Unfortunately Neps can be hunted down for their skin, bones or their coughed up Geodes. It's less of a hazard for the unwanted company to take some Geodes and leave, cause it's a lot less life threatening for them.
How do I tell if an Ix was left behind or abandoned? A good sign that a Nep has been left behind or abandoned is their sounds and appearance. If you hear high pitched chirps followed by low pitched barks and silents then repeat they're trying to find and listen for their parents sounds.They will be shivering, hiss at random things, bite anything close by. Most Ix's do this when they feel scared and want their parents to respond. If you're hanging around and hear nothing back for a while odds are the parents have lost the Ix, something has happened to the parents or they fled the area.
Will the Neptonian attack me if I found the Ix and brought it back to them?: No, Ix's can communicate well enough with the adults to give them a feel of the situation. If you return an Ix to a family they will most likely ask you to say for dinner or give you a Geode as a thank you.
Are they the nesting types: Yes, Neps are a nesting species. They make two nest, one at home and one somewhere hidden so no one can go in randomly and mess with them or their young. If they don't like an area they will make another nest somewhere else and carry the young with them in a cloth around their chests until they are 3 months old.
What is the thing Neps cough up?: It's a type of Geode, They eat a lot of gems, metals and other minerals that get fused with one another inside their stomachs. The outside is made of bones and metals while the inside is a fusion of all minerals, once broken they have a beautiful color arrangement that can go for high prices.
Are Neps the only ones able to make them? Nope! 2 other species I have also do this. It's pretty funny to see other species react to it.
What's money worth to them?: They prefer trading things they find interesting or have made. Money has no real value to them.
I think that's all for this one.
Only need to finish their Culture and Beliefs. Plus their final reference sheet.
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How to Understand And Connect With GenZers Through Design?
Characteristics of Gen ZHow to Design for Gen Z
Other than making your brand look pretty, designs and graphics serve another, more important purpose: they allow your audience to connect with you. Why is this connection important? Because without it, there is no way your audience will give any of their precious attention (or money), especially if they are from the Gen Z cohort.
It is estimated that by 2020 40% of all consumers will be GenZers . This means that you need to start coming up with strategies that will work to woo the Gen Z crowd and you need to do it yesterday to still stay ahead of the game.
Although there’s no definite, universally accepted age range for Gen Z, most studies note that it starts somewhere in the mid-1990’s to early 2000’s. There are many characteristics that make GenZers stand apart from their older siblings; learning about these characteristics will help you figure out how to modify your designs for them.
They Are Not Millennials, But They are Influenced By Them
Many brands think that Gen Z is simply an extension of millennials. While there are some similarities between the two cohorts, GenZers are still in a league of their own; they didn’t have the rose-tinted views of the adult world that the millennials were misled into believing, they have seen the consequences of recession and live the horrors of extreme violence. This generation stands with their peers and against injustice, regardless of whether or not they’re facing it personally.
All this, however, comes to them through the influence of their millennial parents and siblings. Millennials have had to struggle their way through their adult life because of their previous generations and they tried their hardest to make sure that the future generations would not have to go through that. They fought for their rights and taught GenZers to use their voice, made sure that Gen Z knew exactly what the real world was like, and preached tolerance and acceptance. GenZers also look up to millennials for their courage, learn from their struggles, and take notes on how to survive adulthood.
They’re the True Digital Natives
Millennials were here for the technological, they’ve seen technology go from landlines and brick-sized phones to tablets and Wi-Fi. But GenZers are born into the digital world, they’ve had all the knowledge, entertainment, and news they want at the tip of their fingers since they’ve been toddlers. To them, social media platforms are not something you spend a few hours on and go on with your life, social media is an integral part of their lives; they use it to connect with the world, find out new things, share their lives, and voice out their opinions.
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They’re Not Tolerant, They’re Accepting
Millennials were a tolerant generation, probably the most tolerant. GenZers, however, are not. They don’t tolerate injustice, inequality, and exclusivity. They are, however, more accepting of other aspects like the LGBT community, women’s rights, different races, and other minorities. Along with this intolerance towards injustice and acceptance towards formerly “taboo” topics, they also know that they have a voice and know exactly how to use that to elicit action. A major example that perfectly illustrates this is the student-led March For Our Lives movement where students, teens, survivors of school shootings came together to ask for answers after consistent inaction from authorities.
They Know What They Want
You may think that, because GenZers are just teenagers or too young, they might lack direction, because that’s what the millennial teens were like; but that’s not true. You see, millennials were raised by baby boomers, the generation that had guaranteed jobs at the bare minimum educational qualification, fully paid for houses before they married, and in general, a good life as long as they were ready to work hard. This is what they taught their millennial kids: stay in school, get good grades, get a good job, and settle down. So millennials had an optimistic, but unrealistic, outlook on adulthood. This lead to millennials getting a major shock once they started looking for jobs because the economy had taken a massive hit during their school years; which they were not aware of.
But GenZers know better, they’ve seen their parents and older siblings struggle to make it in the real world, they’ve seen the effects of the Great Recession, they’ve lived the effects of 9/11, they stay connected to the world they will soon step foot in through social media. So they know what they’re in for, they know what they’ll have to face. They also know the consequences of not having a 5-, 10-, 20-year plan ready. This is why GenZers have a fixed plan for where they want their career to go and start preparing for it even before they’re out of school.
GenZers have a mindset that is unique to their generation. This means that the strategies you’ve been employing for so long, that worked so wonderfully for your millennial audience, will not work anymore. Here’s what will work.
1. Know Your Social Media
GenZers have many faces; they are fangirls and fanboys on Tumblr, they’re models and photographers on Instagram, they connect with their friends and family on Facebook and with celebrities on Twitter. The design styles they like on each of these platforms will vary as well; on Instagram, they’re all about aesthetics while on Tumblr and Twitter they promote artists (and memes, but mostly artists). Know all about each of these faces and figure out which one(s) you want to cater to.
2. Acknowledge Their Diversity
Gen Z is comprised of 47% ethnic minorities making them the most culturally diverse generation so far. To add to that, they are extremely protective of their peers and don’t think twice before standing up for them in times of crisis or injustice and work endlessly, ceaselessly to break all unfair barriers. Basically, they are a just a big, proud melting pot of culture, races, sexualities, and genders. Culture is not the only aspect where GenZers are diverse; even their hobbies and passions have the same level of diversity. The idiom “jack of all trades, master of none” is the best way to describe this generation of innovators, leaders, artists, academics, protectors, and entrepreneurs. It is vital that your designs show and, more importantly, celebrate this diversity.
3. Give Them the Control
GenZers are living in a world where a lot of things are happening that are simply out of their control; nothing is guaranteed, the economy is unstable, and mental stress is at an all time high. In such a scenario, these young, stressed out folks are looking for any sliver of control, and vehemently favor anybody that gives it to them, even if it’s in the form of a simple graphic or the design of a website. They prefer ad campaigns that let them co-create or control the narration or story, These people also like brands that let them vote for something to happen or choose an option on their own. That is why YouTube videos where YouTubers “let their fans run their life (mostly through Instagram Stories)” do so well. So, make sure you create designs that allow them to customize their experiences.
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4. Build a Cohesive But Dynamic Identity
Just as this generation diverse, their identity is dynamic; you will try and fail at finding one single picture that completely encompasses Gen Z. To match this, brands need to be consistent but flexible with their identity and voice. Try to have a fixed palette, logo design, typography, and feel to your designs, occasionally changing up the theme according to seasons, festivals, and trends. Like, for Christmas, you can have a snowy, Christmassy theme with Christmas-related decorations adorning your designs and graphics. This way, you can refresh your brand from time to time without your designs going stale or completely rebranding yourself.
5. Consider Functionality Along With Aesthetics
GenZers live a fast-paced life and need brands that will make this life of theirs easier, which means that they’re looking for convenience and efficiency. If they don’t see these two things in your brand, they will drop you and be very reluctant to pick you back up. This community of youngsters needs websites that work just as seamlessly on their smartphone as they do on desktops (it’s a bonus if you have a well-made app) and graphics that they can view regardless of what device they’re using, all packaged up in an aesthetically pleasing designs.
6. Use Designs to Showcase Your Values
Gen Z is big on values; if your values resonate with their beliefs, they’ll lend you their support without any hesitation. But don’t flaunt values that you don’t believe in just to get them to like you. If they find out — which they will, because they always do — that’s a quick one-way ticket to Banland in the GenZers Handbook for Brands.
7. Empower Them With Your Designs
Another thing GenZers are ‘big on’ is empowerment; from LGBT to Feminism to Gun Control, this entrepreneurial cohort passionately empower anything they deem worthy and deserving. If your designs promote personal growth and Gen Z’s capacity to shape their present and future, it will resonate with them, which will result in them sharing your creations and, eventually, follow you. They are also big fans of pushing boundaries and destroying barriers. This rings good news for you because you can experiment as much as possible; use bold colors, switch to pastel palettes, try different fonts, explore new facets of graphics. With Gen Z, you have a scope to exploit areas that were too risky for millennials and Gen X.
8. Serve Them Bite-sized Information
GenZers need designs that they can share with their social circle, graphics that they’ll want to share. These digital natives are used to flitting between multiple screens and have an incredibly small attention span thanks to that. They have the amazing ‘talent’ to read a book while catching up on their favorite TV shows and listening to the music by their cherished artists all at the same time and are quick to drop brands that can’t keep up with their pace. c
But an upside to this short attention span is that they are quick to decide if they like a brand (or post) or not. The trick here is to capture their attention within these few seconds. The easiest way to do that is to engage with them in their language; use short videos, simple graphics, and minimal text.
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Why Do People Cheat—and Are We Wired To?
Cuffing season, wedding season, summer flings, biological clocks, midlife affairs—pop culture and peer pressure often make us feel as though love, sex, and relationships are all supposed to happen to everyone at a prescribed time and in just the right order. And when they don't, the problem isn’t that one-size-fits-all relationship boxes are silly, it’s that you must be doing it wrong. But that's not reality. In fact, not all people are meant to be in monogamous, long-term relationships all of the time—and there’s a whole body of scientific evidence to prove that.
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Are you one of those people? Is your significant other? What do you even do with that knowledge? Here, therapist Susan Pease Gadoua, LCSW, founder of the Changing Marriage Institute and co-author of The New "I Do," and sexual relationship therapist Joe Kort, Ph.D., help us comb through the research to get to what matters.
How Our Ancestors Got Us Here
You’ve probably heard the standard evolutionary biology theory that females seek stable, long-term commitment from males because child-rearing leaves them vulnerable. Males, by contrast, seek to spread their seed far and wide. But males in some species have evolved to be monogamous nonetheless. That could be in order to prevent other males from killing their offspring, as one group of anthropologists recently posited. Another team of anthropologists looking at the same data decided that fear of infanticide isn’t the primary motivator; rather, the geographical distance between fertile females motivates mammals to stick to one partner.
Obviously, humans are driven by more than a biological imperative, and these theories don’t exactly take into account LGBTQ relationships. Evolutionary theories should really be seen as only a tiny part of the larger puzzle, given that we no longer have to worry about survival in the same way as our ancestors did—and haven't for a long time. Still, there are ways in which therapists see these concepts play out in couples regardless of gender.
Kort says that his male clients, whether in gay or straight marriages, more frequently seek to have open relationships or extramarital affairs than the women do.
"I'm inclined to think it's testosterone," Kort says, before countering his own theory by adding, "The newer thinking is, men just have more permission and women have not. Women are gaining permission, and that might change."
Gadoua also says that more of the men she works with wind up cheating than women do. And one slightly horrifying habit—which may or may not be part of an evolutionary drive—is what she's seen in new parents.
"After a baby is born, that's a high-risk time for men to be having an affair," she says. "I've seen something happen to men where they don't want to be tied down."
Motherhood has the opposite effect on some of Kort’s clients. "I frequently see this in my practice—where a couple is open, they're having kinky sex, open sex, poly sex, or whatever. Then a child is born, and the woman tends to not want to do that anymore. It's very disconcerting to the guy. It’s not at all the same in gay couples."
But perhaps payback comes later: Gadoua has seen couples in which women in their 60s wanted extramarital relationships. "When women enter menopause, their estrogen levels go down," she explains. "The estrogen is the caretaking hormone. One of my clients said, 'I'm tired of taking care of everyone else. I want my time.'"
Additionally, the idea that more men than women cheat may be changing as our culture rapidly changes. Given that more and more women work—and are achieving positions of power in their work—there's evidence to suggest that these demographics are shifting, and the cheating gender gap is closing, says Alexandra Stockwell, MD.
"There many reasons for this—including that coworkers get to know one another well and often spend more time together than spouses do," she says.
Genetic Hall Pass
While evolution may have passed down the notion of monogamy to some of us, that’s certainly not universal. Aside from the fact that many cultures practice polygamy, the evidence that some of us may be geared toward multiple partners is also in our genes. One study found that people with a specific type of dopamine (the pleasure-reward neurotransmitter) receptor gene reported being more sexually promiscuous and were 50 percent more likely to cheat on a spouse.
Scientists in Finland also looked at a gene that's responsible for receptors of vasopressin (a hormone associated with partner bonding, and also peeing), and observed that having lots of vasopressin receptors correlated with women's infidelity—but not men’s.
"The research is clearer and clearer that we are wired to be nonmonogamous," Kort says. "We make choices to be monogamous on purpose for children, for family, for property."
Gadoua notes that her patients’ parents have also strongly influenced their views on relationships. "Parents unconsciously say or do things that give children the idea that they don't really have to commit, or the opposite," she says. Perhaps the parents do that because they're wired to as well.
Money Matters
A recent study in Wales tested how perceptions of wealth might influence men and women to want long- or short-term relationships. After being shown photos of mansions, jewelry, fancy cars, and gold, the test subjects were asked to rate photos of models based on whether they would choose them for long-term, short-term, or no relationships—basically a lab version of "F---, Marry, Kill." Both men and women chose significantly more short-term partners than the control group that just saw photos of potted plants and groceries.
While hardly definitive, this study may indicate that notions of wealth make us more likely to consider cheating. Let's not overstate the causality here: Research doesn’t show that income leads to cheating, but this study does offer some evidence to suggest that they may be related.
"If somebody is worried about having enough food on the table and shelter and whatnot, they're going to be less likely to have unstable relationships," Gadoua reasons. "But if somebody has their basic needs met and they aren't worried about paying the bills, then they do tend to think about luxuries and having more choice in their life."
But there's also some unfortunate news in a study that shows men who aren't the primary breadwinners in hetero marriages are more likely to cheat. Gadoua has seen this happen with clients: It seems that some men still subscribe to the old definition of masculine identity, meaning being the household's main provider.
"Having an affair may be a way to get some validation that they're not getting from the workplace," she says of these men. The good news is that younger couples seem to have a better handle on this.
"Now, younger people are waiting until they've got their life pretty solid on their own and then making the decision to get married," Gadoua says. "I definitely think that if any couple can have a conversation about expectations in roles and contributions prior to getting married, they will do much better."
Thumbs Up to Polyamory and Open Marriages
Kort has observed gay male couples, in particular, having successful open relationships. A search through research databases turns up a lot of studies about men’s sexual agreements, often with regard to how this relates to their risk of contracting HIV/AIDS. (Spoiler alert: The factor here is whether they have safe sex, not necessarily their level of monogamy—of course, some monogamous couples cheat.)
Judging by the (sadly few) scientific studies about the quality of open and polyamorous relationships, the outlook is good. A survey at the University of Quebec demonstrated that there are no differences in relationship satisfaction, sexual satisfaction, trust, or commitment between people in polyamorous, open, or monogamous relationships.
In terms of biological differences, both men and women who prefer to have multiple partners have been found to have higher levels of testosterone than those who prefer having a one-and-only. However, let's remember to take this with a grain of salt—higher testosterone levels may be part of a motivation but don't lead to the behavior itself.
So How Can We Use This Science in Our Own Lives?
"It absolutely can help you have more honesty and transparency in your relationship," Gadoua says. "If you know before you go into a committed relationship that you're not good at monogamy, for example, and you say to the other person, 'This is something I know about myself, so I'm willing to be monogamous right now, but I don't know that I always will be able to,' then that person has the choice to get married or not. If you do know this about yourself and you don't share it, and then you act out later on by having multiple affairs, you've just caused a ton of wreckage."
For anyone on the other end of that conversation—if you’re someone who wants a completely monogamous commitment, this is your chance to proceed with caution or keep shopping for someone who wants the same. It doesn’t sound romantic, but open communication may be the key to happiness.
Sabrina Rojas Weiss lives in Brooklyn, surrounded by her fellow freelance writers and competitive stroller-pushers. Follow her on Twitter @shalapitcher.
from Greatist RSS http://ift.tt/2BX4UJz Why Do People Cheat—and Are We Wired To? Greatist RSS from HEALTH BUZZ http://ift.tt/2CiBH7x
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Report the Killings Daily mail not transgender nonsenceTo everyone to correct “her” to “him” I really don’t understand the want to try and strip someone of part of their identity. It has 0 effect on you.Lol it’s funny that so many men say they’re straight but sleep with an obvious man in a wig. Nothing is feminine about her. The Simpsons Crazy Cat Lady Shirt. I think “straight” men need to admit their gayness.This is why the transgendered community sometimes get a bad rap. She.does not want to be refered as a chick with a dk but yet is not completing surgery. Smh.personally, perfect proof.
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That these people are delusional, and very mentally unstable!! so, she/he is part woman…frim the waist up..and…part man…from the waist down. well ok…then….WTW..??Good luck to her. And why is she making money? because people want to watch the films. And who watches mainly? – so called straight men! Neil Walker Neil is right on the money. I know a lot of straight men who prefer sleeping with a trans person than a gay person. They say for their ego and insecurities it is the next best thing as it’s feels like they are sleeping with a woman as the trans person is dressed as a woman.Straight men watch because they think they are freaky they watch it for a laugh.I dont understand it.
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I thought you were transgender if you had had surgery to make you into the opposite sex. Those who have all their bits intact but dress as women were always understood to be transexuals not transgenders – or have times changed? Yes that too – or drag queens – and they always used the gents not the ladies. You don’t understand because he has a mental illness or because the rest of us do. In that case, call me mentally ill and I’m just crazy.I think you got it mismatched. Transexuals are those who had sexual reassignment already while transgenders are those who identify themselves as a particular gender regardless of their reproductive organs.
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That’s why she said she’s a transgender since she was 6.Transgender means identifying as the opposite sex. There is no such thing as being transsexual because the matter is not concerned with sexuality, but with gender. A person can be transgender irrespective of their sexual organs. Please google the “trans umbrella” and you’ll learn more about this similarities and differences. Maria Sindol was thinking of transvestites but couldnt remember the name x. Oh times have changed.
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Apparently, people can change their sex at any given moment now…. Or ladyboys as the like to be called in Thailand doesn’t really matter what name given they all men in frocks with cocks who now want recognition lol.Lots of homophobic, thanks dailymail for making this as a public topic and made our community had gained haters.Technically why are people so bent out of shape over the someone’s gender? Is she causing a delay in living your life to the fullest? If so, I recommend reorganizing your priorities in life.
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It’s obvious that transgenders are people who feel struggle to blend in and feel lost in society, being trans is just the latest fad of getting some attention. The Simpsons Crazy Cat Lady Shirt. These people need a hug.It’s a bloke who’s had a boob job and wears heavy make up that is not a transgender, it’s offensive to those who are actually transgender in my opinion and no doubt I’ll get ridiculed for it. Wow so much transphobic bigotry here, why does people care on someones gender when they are not even hurting anyone? She is happy and thats all that matters, i dont plan on getting that surgery myself and that does not make me any less of a woman, just educate yourselfs before saying hurtfull things.Honestly its not your life .
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I’ve been in a private-messaging circle-jerk with the Kiwis for the last several days which has grown to about 25 pages
In that time, I learn the most shocking thing: somebody had acquired SRS who should frankly be intellectually incapable of receiving it by differentially diagnostic exclusive criteria.
Cuntster was the one who had made the announcement with his usual gaslighting shtick.
His inability to convince me of the absence of these emotional needs aside, I’ve written a parting exposition to that group today regarding how they even conspoired to sabotage my college entrance, but ultimately, with a context critical not of psychiatry, but psychiatry’s politically contextual use (NobleGreyHorse then ignorantly rambled on about Scientology as if they’re going to save any Aspergians in the upcoming Transsexual Imperium):
: All I really care about is that he chose someone of blood which will spare me of the worst-case scenario fate for when I really need to leave Scotland in the upcoming transsexual imperialist-induced Asperger genocide in the future. Low-mid caste status under leadership of my brother down the line is a fine staying scenario for me. It's the best choice I could've made whilst I discuss with Lennihan this Friday rehab. No, I'm serious; I want to go to rehab (so basically the anti-Winehouse; well, she was a real Jew, lol) and I want it to work, I want my reliance on opiates to stop and I want to be able to stay off them long-term either with the assistance of opiate-substitutes with a view to coming off them all altogether in a tapered fashion as should've been the case all along. I need to contact my SW to see if he has obtained the original copy of my SQA certificate yet from the college which I left having forgotten to pick it up after they'd photocopied it (they didn't make their cues clear in the interview process; that, as far as I'm concerned, was purposeful until recovery of this materialises). If he has, I can look to January options after having recovered in rehab, or, if that takes longer, next year options; same course, same level. I want, as an ideal, a hum-drum, office-going life, uncaring of how that pays -- if it's barely the living wage, well, emphasis on living. A single person regardless of sex can live comfortably off about £14,000 a year. Whatever you have to say about work-shops to be condescending or whatever, surely you should be able to foresee that in my abilities post-recovery. We'll never meet eye-to-eye on this gender stuff. Let's make that clear. I'm presenting as female as we speak, however "poorly". This isn't about sexual gratification or blahblahblah with this recent spurning by someone I misinterpreted had romantic interest for me, I've kind of meekly rescinded into quasi-asexualism-by-choice/celibacy, not because I don't have romantic desires, but in acknowledgement of my compete relationship exceptionalism. I'm self-aware of that much. I wasn't out to get cock. Being female was an emotional need, regardless if you believe it or not. Being remotely close to where my sister already was in her early-20s; moderately well-paying admin work subsidiary to a human resource's department but still in supervisorial role of call-centre staff -- I can communicate quickly, bark commands, co-ordinate myself under-pressure, and think fast on my feet when stabilized but nevertheless pressured, if that makes sense, having managed cults on Skype being my closest informal experience but nevertheless imparting very useful skills in that area, would be nice. The tertiary talisman I seek in particular is a 2-year Business degree. Maybe that'll become a 4-year far down the line, part-time. It's not my intellectual incapaciousness that ever let me down contrary to Cuntster's ramblings. He was on the money with the emotional instability things and why that could be a red flag with respect to admissions. The main problem was that autism-centric support was condescending and frankly disrespective of my new identitarian needs. Autism being a poison to my identity is most certainly a viable maxim; it's an excuse bordering on ludicrous not only for my mother to keep pressuring me to stay on benefits for her own sake, but for Cuntster to patronize me with this garbage about 'tard-wrangling work-shops? I don't even think Mel's IQ estimate would have me performing that work, to be honest. That is the stuff of Down syndromic people and severe schizophrenics who, content with their executively dysfunctional state, understandably want to occupy their time, but completely inappropriate in my functional predicament, which is objectively a bit higher; mid-road between that and a neurotypical on a social level given the right conditions and accomodations. I just need to stop making stupid, random relationships, like with prison gangsters, or with random junkies at bus-stops, and exercise better judgement. How I move on from there is indeterminate and difficult, but I know I won't be applying to the same college twice; Cuntster has made it implicitly clear they're ex-NHS and are employed there now, and explicitly so with the conversations I overheard. Besides, with Beth Brownlee's condescending attitude towards neurological hypermales, a discrimination case should be launched against them regardless of my attendance or not, and will be pursued courtesy of my legal contact. That truly is toxic to your college's environment. Your Business department would benefit from an increased number of autists in attendance for a number of reasons I could cite but deep down, you know them all; you know the studies of female inefficiencies and failures in their integration into the work place; you know how the neurological female at its near-extremes is toxic enough, let alone to when it gets so close to mental illness that you're the inevitable result, @Cuntster. Indeed, since gender dysphoria is one anyway, perhaps an employment tribunal should be launched against you, for, if I remember correctly, you had tried, in your pursuit of a PhD., to get medically licensed, but were too unstable and so pre-emptively disbarred. Wise move on the end of the General Medical Council. Your abuse of sodium valproate has done nothing to change that, as demonstrated in your sadistic trolling callousness here, and your bribing of medical professionals in Britain to support the transsexualism diagnosis and SRS of a testable mental exceptional individual overseas for recommendation purposes (Dr. Haselgrove was one of the psychiatrists involved in Robert Wayne Stiles' SRS recommendations, apparently motivated entirely by spite). The internationalism of psychiatry, a Trotskyist influenced strand of thought owing to the work of the Frankfurt school leftists in the first instance, where catecholamine alchemy is used to lineraize and psychopathize the thought processess of otherwise creatively independent beings (see: North Korea in its natural state, where the only antidepressant is codeine and the only cure for schizophrenia is methamphetamine), shows itself in the permission of a verifiable exceptional individual to become transsexual entirely out of spite, whilst denying their intellectual superior of the same conditional predicament (and that's not a claim of graniodisty: verifiably, where Natalie is on the IQ bell curve, nearly everybody around her is smarter than her and as such he should've never been allowed to make the decision, let alone undertake it; I'm pretty mediocre, and that's probably the best thing going for me in support of proving my stability for transsexualism-ascension reasons) for similarly emotionally fickle reasons unbefitting of the supposedly objective spirit of a "science" psychiatry feigns to be, but fails to embody. Being nice, being superficially appeasing to the sensitivities of psychiatrists, being of a personality type that's likeable, are not objective criterion of psychiatric disorders, but human vulnerabilities in the stupidity of its nature Haselgrove, despite his/her (I'm still unsure tbh; I'm stuck between "masculine cisgender female" and "cryptic-intersex MAAB for a long time", but either is condescending enough) supposed superior intelligence, fell folly to in the final analysis of its endorsement of Natalie Sharp's transition to spite the Cde. and General Sopiya Jangeun, showing psychiatry not to be science so much as pseudoscience in its politically charged nature of use. Indeed, when we see Lennihan verifiably speak of his confidence in persuading either the college in question, or, as he put it, "a college", to grant me entrance to a course, either now or down the line, we see psychiatry's use in a more political than objectively academic, analytical, or scientific purpose; all the more so for the impetuous actions of Haselgrove, who had sought to use its agent Cuntster, whether that is himself, or an intermediary, to try and deconstruct my ego to nothing in what is nothing short of psychopathically backwards sadism which makes the North Korean 49s look enlightened by comparison. Conclusively, this has been a certain adventure in the exploration of the psychiatric lobby's use of individuals to wield political influence in the destruction of "undesirables" in very specifically targeted ways that could be evidenced by strong circumstantial evidence in all cases; the sudden "disappearance" of my record being one of them when my SW either fails to recover it, or MySQA comes back online to show, incorrectly, that I left school with nothing. That will have been a mixture of Fareal and Cuntster's work; it would reveal that their purpose was not to stabilize, help, reason, or whatever with myself, but purely in a long-haul sabotage to destroy, life-ruin, and everything suspected of every self-serving hypocrisy I could accuse psychiatry of engaging in, and evidentiary of psychiatry as a tool of hypocritical self-servitude, for that matter. That's whether Cuntster has tried to appeal to Haselgrove intermediarily, or, has acted in split-differentiated/disassociative fashion, or, used other means in the chain of command to otherwise sabotage my life. "Chukjibop" may well be a metaphor, but it encapsulates perfectly the stupendous efforts of the NHS to destroy the offspring of a paedophile simply because of the primary school logic of "ah dinnae like him that much naww"; a primitive, Scotland-bastardized version of Songbun. I was made to be representative of my father's misdemeanours on numerous occasions and denied attribution of my remorse in an emulation of the emotional torture sustained by the National Socialist Prisoner of War Hoess during his incarceration in the British political prison system. However, "chukjibop" may also literally encapsulate the spirit of the speed and the ardour with which an Aspergian must do things in the future in order to prevent all and any forms of neurotypical sabotage and be weary of their trust of them, using the destruction of my person at every level of my existence, even staging a junkie to meet at a bus stop to appeal to my addictions on an emotional level (I wouldn't be surprised if that was Cuntster's staging), as an example of why neurotypicals must be regarded untrustworthy by Aspergians and approached on wearily, diplomatically precautious and "ten-foot-pole" terms; they are not friendlies, but are inimical to you when their psychopathic masks slip from not appeasing their emotionally faux-sensitive pseudo-vulnerabilities of untempered rage, vengeance, aggression, negroidality, and other primitive emotions only attributable to neurotypical psychopaths, for which it is all they are capable. It is only Monday, and I ultimately have until Friday to go; I'll be semi-active in this PM, but would prefer if KiwiFarms contact went strictly off limits, as articles, particularly in admonishment of how Natalie has unethically been given surgical procedures beyond his intellectual ability to comprehend, and how the diplomatic discussions between myself, LagoonaBlue, and ash_and_stone were misrepresented by Cuntster, need to be composed, edited, and accordingly published by ASMG members of staff; the active ones are 1 editor, as the rest cannot presently be reached by myself due to managerial duress and overload. Even autistic self-run concerns need their own accomodations, y'know. I'm not that delusional of my "powers" or abilities. Consider my analysis of the way Cuntster has manipulatively tried to throw the burdensome onus on me for sabotages he himself had planned and expected me ton combat in chasing for random, at-best-insinuated happenstances like a headless chicken, whether that be the implicit threats on the Farms in collusion with others, or the explicit boasts between himself, Atesh and Brownlee, whether that was in misrepresentation of my politics to portray me incorrectly as too "extreme" for the college environment, or colluding with Brownless to retroactively manipulate past records to include more extreme incidents in-class than had ever occurred in previous iterations of the course. Brady is innocent, of course, far too overworked to have a clue of the conspiracy going on. This shall be copied directly to her, solely for her contemplative benefit, and also to see if she can figure out who Cuntster is and fire him (c'mon, a 6'7'', moderately tanned, post-operative transsexual with idiosyncratic racial features can't be that hard to spot), accordingly.
-- myself, PM sent yesterday, some time late last night
In closing, too, because they had, as we say in the transsexual community, “ascended” somebody with diagnosed mental insufficiency/intellectual disability:
Robert Wayne Stiles is an ethics case. Failing to score above the intellectual disability threshold on an IQ test at any stage in life -- something I can proudly say I've never done even on my worst mark-downs -- is exclusion criteria for surgery, where-ever you are and whatever money you bribe. It demands investigation.
To which end I pledged writing to various editorial councils about it. SRS is irreversible, but the minimal punishment for him should be group home incarceration, and the minimal punishment for those who had written his recommendations with his worst interests at heart should be disbarring from respective medical councils.
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