#my fault for going to the salon tbh

[eagans-world]

Ladies, gentlemen and other elegant guests.

welcome to

hairstyle struggles!

[mandy4ever69420]

opinion on sheila?

i don't care for her. as a person. i've found her miscellaneous shenanigans a lot more enjoyable upon rewatch, though, since i'm no longer trying to find a way to still like her as a person. it's very sad for me to not like her because she is played by JOAN CUSACK whom i adore + naturally she fucking kills it in her performance. alas she is not dom top rosalie mullins from school of rock 😔

i contemplated leaving my response at that but i DO in fact think she's really interesting! i thought, you know, some other people have made Some posts about how she fucks up but tbh, come to think of it, usually they only go so far as to say "she did bad thing, therefore bad" and dont go past that! which is tragic. SO i'm going to. i hope.

please keep in mind as you read this that my biggest problem with sheila is her attempt to, as a white christian woman, adopt and raise a handful of native american children, which is a facet of cultural genocide (article II, item e) that the ICWA was literally created to prevent. i also dislike her for other reasons, but this is the biggest

sheila is probably the strongest example within shameless of a character being cute, charismatic, or "nice" on the surface, in a way that really powerfully distracts from the type of harm they're capable of.

particularly, in addition to being "nice" and carrying joan cusack's INCREDIBLE charisma, sheila is also disabled! she's terrified of a lot of things, and mocked by her husband for it. she absolutely deserves sympathy for her struggles with agoraphobia and a LOT of people conflate sympathizing with someone with having to accept their behavior. this is the flip-side of people not understanding that someone who has done something scary or messed up still has a sympathetic internal experience.

season one has sheila most of the time unable to enact harm because of her limiting circumstances. although she repeatedly ignores frank's sexual boundaries, he's also definitely taking advantage of her hospitality the entire time. frank often will lose sympathy points by acting horrifically in other ways, sheila's behavior will be ignored for how sympathetic she is. in season one, sheila also APPEARS to be a great and supportive mother to karen, specifically because of the contrast in how overtly judgemental and controlling eddie is. while watching this show with a friend of mine, she made the great observation that when sheila comes out of her shell a bit, you can really see how she wound up married to such a stuck up conservative asshole.

even so, sheila's inability to support her daughter hurts her. that's not to say she's at fault for the way her agoraphobia leaves karen feeling adrift, just that it happened. i really like season 1 sheila. karen also spends a lot of time feeling that it's her responsibility to take care of sheila, and while it's extremely nice of her to do, the fact is that sheila needed an adult's support, not her teenage daughter's. when karen spends so much time acting protective towards sheila, which sheila was undoubtedly both touched and embarrassed by, i think this also pushes forward into both of their minds the way that sheila views karen in some ways as more of a bestie/equal than a child under her care.

note also here - sheila seems to have no grown up friends! there are a couple times when she tries to branch out (christianmingle, selling sex toys) but they don't seem to work out. she even sort of alludes to knowing people at her old job at a hair salon, but she seems to never have actually be close to them, just sort of friendly. she is extremely lonely, probably since even before she developed agoraphobia.

sheila is loud and brash and strange, which masks in ways that she may also be very very insecure. it makes sense if she only bonds with little kids if she's terrified of the judgement of an adult. (this is also a problem with kash - though obviously, kash takes this in a worse direction by pursuing ian romantically). she's also GOOD with little kids. she absolutely is not good with teenagers. i would absolutely trust her to watch a toddler, i don't think there's any real problem with that.

however, please see: sheila playing with liam, she asks him "which do you prefer, the baby, or the whore?" this line is hilarious. it also points to her having more or less the same conservative view of sexuality that results in karen's DaddyzGirl plotline. it feels relevant she uses a blonde barbie to represent the "whore".

sheila also seems more involved in catholicism than the gallagher family. to be sure, the gallaghers are catholic, but i didn't get the impression that it was as much of a religious identity to them as something they just inherited and went with.

by the time jody shows up in karen's plotline, sheila is established so aggressively as being kooky and unable to handle a lot of the "real world", that when i recall thinking, oh, well, she shouldn't be letting this guy around her daughter, but i'm not sure she understands whats happening. and it's true she probably didn't. part and parcel to her viewing karen as more of a best friend than a child in here care, and her inability to understand teenagers the way she does littler kids - she just defaults to trying to interact with karen as another adult.

sheila being more catholic also adds an interesting layer to how much she wants karen to go out with jody, given that karen is a bisexual girl, even if sheila might not be aware of that.

i assume we're already in agreement that she shouldn't have allowed karen to marry a 37 year old - which she definitely had to consent to. in an interesting parallel here with my general read of mickey being the karen to ian's lip, the united states does allow people under 18 to get married, but only with a parent's consent. mickey is the only other character i can think of whose parent gives such horrifying and enthusiastic consent to their marriage (and, similarly - both lip and ian show up to these weddings, get drunk, and make an ass of themselves)

sheila viewing karen as a best friend more so than a daughter also is what leads her to believe it's acceptable, just kind of bitchy, to sleep with jody. jody is another incredibly immature adult. this is a running and well executed theme in most of the predatory characters on this show. karen didn't want him, and sheila later apologizes for all the wrong reasons.

sheila obviously gets hit with another massive wave of loneliness and regret after she kicks her daughter out - she doesn't seem to understand that attempting to force someone to keep an unwanted pregnancy or child is a surefire way to ruin a relationship, and almost certainly thought that karen would go into playing this "sweet little girl" role she expects of having a cute, blonde, daughter. this also shows up in sheila's idealization of karen's relationship to jody. sheila can't accept that karen is outspoken and independent, she wants karen to be a housewife and a princess - karen apparently loved princess stories as a small child (or sheila thought she did), and sheila is unable to accept that that's changed - and she wants jody to be the prince in this story.

even when karen comes back, sheila still can't wrap her head around karen not being obligated to be a mother. she's horrified to learn that karen had told hymie's father's family that sheila "wasn't safe", when karen just wanted desperately to go back to before, because she wanted her mom to love her, and she wanted to feel close, without the imposition of an unwanted child from a traumatic pregnancy.

this might be a reflection of the disaster that was sheila's marriage - a lot of women will try to make up for what they feel they missed out on by projecting onto their daughters' lives. sometimes this is just awkward, but sheila decides to send her brain damaged, absolutely unable to consent, daughter off with jody. when karen becomes disabled sheila sees her no longer as a best friend, but more like a doll. come to think of it, this might be why she got so enthusiastically involved in ..."activism"... for down syndrome. it's an exciting role to play for her.

jody makes probably one single good point in his entire life, which is that hymie should stay connected to his chinese heritage. he obviously didn't care THAT much, and sheila wasn't really listening, because these two later separate hymie from family who DO want him (tommy and his mother) to participate in this fanciful idea.

sheila is, after that, somehow surprised to learn she feels lonely again! she desperately seeks out community however she can - this time in latching onto being 1/32nd menominee after taking a DNA test (as per my memory?) - there's not really anything wrong with wanting to know more about a part of your heritage, and if she'd been more normal about this, who would've fucking cared?

carl doing a crappy imitation of black culture while he believes himself to be 1/8th black is the closest comparison here. sure, sheila also might've really identified as native at that point, maybe she meant well! however, sheila is a grown adult, who tries to build this connection through children. carl, is, however fourteen years old, and he tries to get involved in black culture by hanging out with and emulating older people, befriending and protecting nick, and failing pretty embarrassingly at getting a date. even so, carl's behavior is cringeworthy enough to get commented on by pretty much everyone in the show.

and sheila's attempts to adopt these random children are the culmination of her "cute little baby" obsession - it doesn't escape my notice that she barely pays attention to the oldest (gary?) and focuses heavily on a little girl - and her desperation to find community. she again ignores frank's right to consent or not (and.. the legality of bigamy) to marry frank solely to acquire cute little kids, and, by her hope, a connection and real reason to be involved in a tight knit community.

one of the points at which joan cusacks acting really sticks out to me is when she's at the hearing in hopes of approval for her adoption, and she's sort of playing hard at being "in" group - to boost her chances at getting approved adoption, and because she really, really wants to be "in". she kind of believes she's getting there until the council start to talk to each other in menominee which she, of course, has no clue at the beginning of how to understand. they're just speaking in their own language, but she feels an acute sense of exclusion. when they conclude and simply say "no"- no explanation offered, because why bother to explain to someone who is not going to get it - she has this devastation on her face, because she realizes she was not going to be "in" anyway, no matter what.

when it comes to these kids, yeah, they may have wanted to live with her. but they're kids! they like wifi, and cool snacks, and tv. children deserve a lot more respect and to be trusted, but they also can't understand why it'd be harmful to grow up in a white christian household.

sheila reattaches herself to frank pretty aggressively in response to her new, new, new, old loneliness. she again views someone's daughter as a peer (or adversary) and not a daughter - though with sammi, at least she's a grownup with boundary issues.

sheila's writing is less compelling to me after this, but that might just be because when she really really does try to adopt these kids, i kind of blacked out from rage, and couldn't stand to really look at her. in my rewatch i might pick up on more in s5. she does get pretty involved in the gentrification plotline, though, which is well written, but super difficult for me to look at directly (high fives for anyone who will never afford a house in their hometown) i really hope that her independent sheila life will give her some self confidence by herself, so she'll feel better AND stop twisting herself into these convoluted choices and taking really bizarre kinds of advantage of people in an effort to find ANY community. but idk maybe she'll become a scientologist or something. who really knows

[sol-flo]

i've actually managed to elaborate on the pre- and post-post-apocalyptic stuff but i think just the plaintext would be rather dull so ill go ahead and make a zine with art and stuff

[credulouscanidae]

as a dog groomer, nothing makes me angrier in my job than when clients try to blame me for their negligence to their dog. 

i don’t get angry at every single owner of a matted or even pelted dog that comes through the salon. when i started, i used to. i used to fall into such despair, unable to comprehend how someone could LET this happen to their animal they’re meant to love. but with experience, i’ve started to really empathise and understand that every situation is different. 

yes, some people REALLY shouldn’t be owning the dog they have if they can’t maintain it, but i don’t know the details as to how or why they obtained that dog, and it’s none of my business tbh. they’re coming to the groomer, i’m going to alleviate that animal’s pain and try and be a source of education. i am never adverse to educating, and one of the most satisfying parts of the job is helping owners understand that letting their dog get badly matted is neglect, and they take what i’m saying on board, and start brushing, or do frequent appointments so we can maintain it ourselves.

what i don’t appreciate is another type of owner that will bring their pelted dog in, i have to undergo the precarious task of shaving it all off for its wellbeing, and the owner either gets mad that i’ve “made their dog ugly”, or they’ll call up days later accusing us of mistreating the dog because “he’s acting quite lethargic”.

i know so much of it comes down to ignorance and lack of education, but even when you explain to them “matted fur twists the skin and cuts off circulation, shaving it off can be quite a shock to the system” etc, they still have the audacity to turn around and try and blame the groomer.

it’s arrogance. it’s pride. it’s narcissism. and it’s an inability to take accountability.

 don’t be angry with me that i alleviated your dog’s suffering. yes, he’s going to be cold or in shock, but i am only fixing the problem you created. i would rather a dog feel a bit chilly, than to have its fur clumped together so tightly that the dog can’t feel air touching its skin and getting a slew of health complications from that.

i guarantee you that every single reasonable groomer will happily take the time to teach you how to brush properly, what to do at home between appointments, and try and accommodate for your needs. that’s if you’re nice to us. mutual fucking respect. im not just a doggy hairdresser, im a dog handler, trainer, first aid administerer, customer service provider, and stylist all in one.

i am tired of dog groomers being looked down on. talked to like we don’t know what we’re talking about. that it’s somehow our fault your dog is acting lethargic after a very physically and emotionally demanding groom because you couldn’t be fucked brushing it. i’ve had owners blame the dog before they blame themselves, and that’s a lot more common than you’d think.

i don’t care if you can’t always maintain your dog, i’m never going to judge you on that. what i am going to judge you on is when you repeatedly condescend and fight me about your dog’s welfare, or deflect and try to say it’s my fault the dog is acting weird after a groom.

[greyeyedmonster-18]

Hello Dr. Greg! (saw that tag from an ask a few weeks ago, and have updated myself accordingly). I had to ask what kind of brother do you think Harry would be to a little sister (maybe 4-5 years younger than him). Please answer, because I have overthought this idea now for a few days, and now i want a professional's view on it... Also, on a side note- I love your writing so much, it actually got me to appreciate literature all over again...

oh my god, doctor greg lives on. i missed them. hello, yes, you have reached dr. greg.

thank you for thinking of me as a professional but i assure you i mostly just produce hot gas <3 (uhm also my hot gas got you to appreciate LITERATURE again????? dear god, printing that out to hang in my salon alongside, "Fault Lines is my Blue". honest to god, knock me out, i cannotttt).

so, harry james potter, i think would be pretty consistent across sibling ages and genders. i think harry is such a teacher and this is shown canonically, how much he THRIVES in being able to show someone else how to do something?

i think he would do that a lot. like...attempting to teach tiny Stacey Potter how to tie her shoes, or like, "No if you want an extra slice of cake you have to make your eyes really big like this"

i think harry is generous and would share, but would hate it when his things were touched or moved without his permission. (i HC a lot that teddy would take ugly flannels from harry sometimes and harry would just lose his fucking mind). i could see a little sister doing this too like, "i just wanted a big comfy sweater. you had one. i took it." and harry definitely overreacts and makes GIANT keep out signs for his door--very regulus black of him tbh.

also, i feel like everybody loves to see this...overprotective harry and have him be like "NOT MY LITTLE SISTER YOU SHITS" but like...have we met disaster boy? little sister raised by Sirius and Remus would have no qualms standing her ground--she would have self-esteem coming out of her pores and wouldn't take an ounce of shit from ANYONE. I think harry would be the one holding her by the scruff and being like "what'd he do? oh, hexed a first year? yeah go ahead." or like "sister, they accidentally tripped and scuffed your sneaker...i think it'll be okay."

but like..

mostly just a lot of love.

[mlqcimagines]

Hello!!! I was hoping I could ask for HC's for the guys with an MC who likes to bite their nails? It's an issue I have UwU

No problem there Nonnie, I used to do the same thing! 

Victor - 

Notices immediately, nothing much gets past Mr. CEO.  

“Stop that right now MC.” 

“Oh...what?” 

You hadn’t even realized you were doing it, (you’d been making a conscious effort not to) but when you pull your left hand away the nails are ragged. 

He doesn’t say anything about it right then, oh no.  

Instead, he calls Kiki and asks about it.  

“Oh, yeah, whenever she’s stressed about a big project or report she goes back to it, but most of the time it’s not that bad” 

He.  Feels.  Awful.  

Is it his fault?  Has he put too much stress on you? He’s just trying to push you, so you do your best!  

Well, now he’s more careful.  He makes sure you’re not under too much stress at once, is nicer when you’re presenting reports ( Just A little, lets be real here), and schedules a spa day every once in a while.  

Any time he sees you going to bite your nails he asks you to hand him something.  Or engages you so you start gesturing, anything to get you to stop. 

He’ll even hold your hand.  It has the bonus of making you all flustered and blushy. 

My god you’re adorable MC. 

Lucien

It’s not that you really bite them, more like you chew on them. 

The first time he notices it’s just before an important interview.  

He’ll gently remove your hands from your mouth.  

“That’s not a very good method of coping, MC” 

He knows all about stress, the man did go to college. So he starts to teach you better ways to deal with the stress.  

We’re talking a cup of tea, we’re talking cognitive focusing, we’re talking stress release - 

Stress release, huh?  0.0

Gradually, with Lucien’s help you manage to cut down.  Any time he still sees you gnawing, he comes and grabs your hand, and will hold on to it as long as he can. 

Every once in a while you do it on purpose, just to be able to hold his hand. 

Gavin

You don’t just chew your nails, you bite your cuticles. 

Think birdcop won’t notice?  Ha, no chance, this guys is a trained investigator and seasoned cop.  He notices everything. 

He sits you down, and has a serious talk with you.  

You blush through the whole thing, you had no idea it was that bad or noticeable. 

“I have to protect you MC, and that means all of you, cuticles included.” 

Hand massages for dayyyys, rubbing lotion into the cuticles.  

This big silly man holds your hand even more often.  

He also does all the research on ways to stop nail biting, and tries to replace it with a good habit. 

“How are you going to play piano for me if you hurt your hands?” he pouts at you. 

O snap that pout, critical hit, MC.exe has stopped working. 

Any time you get stressed he’ll take you in his arms, hold you tightly, and up you go

Resting in the sky, staring at the stars, always relaxes you.��

“I’ll always be there for you, MC” 

Kiro

You’re ashamed of how badly you chew your nails, often right down to the bloody quick, and you tend to keep your hands in your pockets a lot. 

You can bet Kiro notices

He wants to hold your hand MC, let him! 

For the most part, he doesn’t push you about it, till one day he notices two of your fingertips are bandaged up.  

MC NO!

He can’t stand the thought of you hurt like that. 

You may not remember the experiments but he sure does. 

So he confronts you, gently.  

You tell him the truth of course.   You chew on your nails just to have something, anything to control.  It helps you cope with a life and a city that is spinning out of control. 

NOPE, SUNSHINE IS NOT HAVING THAT. 

Starts holding your hand in his All.  The.  Time.  

Takes you to a nail salon.  

All the women there love him, you’re a little jealous tbh. 

But!  It’s so nice and relaxing to have a manicure, especially when Kiro sits right beside you, getting his own nails cared for. 

Plus you catch a glimpse of the bill and it’s so expensive you’d feel bad about messing it up. 

So, gradually, with Kiro’s help, you start to de-stress in more healthy ways. 

He makes it clear he’s always there to talk to you, no matter how busy he is, no matter where he’s at or what time of day or night it is, you can call him if you start again.  

Slowly he helps you help yourself, by always having the utmost faith in you. 

One day when you realize you haven’t bitten your nails for 2 weeks he beams at you and treats you to ice cream!

“I knew  you could do it MC, you can do anything you set your mind to!” 

There you are nonnie, I hope I did it justice!

Requests are Open!!

[lunerbean]

The signs as I've known them

I've seen people do this before and I want in on it! These are my descriptions of the different zodiac signs based purely on people I've known from each sign. If you're unhappy with the description of your sign, just know that I'm not attacking you, I'm attacking one specific person of your same sign. Enjoy.

Aries: Impulsive. Easily jealous. Their hearts are too big for their bodies but somehow, they take it out on themselves. They care so damn much about the right people but never enough about themselves. Lost. I miss my aries.

Taurus: Fucking beautiful. Self loathing. It's not necessarily that they have an addictive personality, but rather they fall in love with their vices. They romanticize everything that's just outside of their reach. They make you fall so fucking in love with them so quickly. My Taurus would show up to my dorm, drunk as hell, and only wanting me. But they're also distant. It's always about whatever is the furthest away and never about what's right in front of them.

Gemini: Extremely articulate. Very charismatic. They can get super "in their own head" and mentally vanish for hours. They're pretty shy, but if you approach them first you're going to have an amazing conversation. They have great laughs that always welcome you in.

Cancer: interesting. People pleaser. They want everyone to like them and they will change their persona to match whoever they're talking to. They genuinely just want to make people happy. They'll do anything for the people they care about. They think they're very guarded but they always seem to fall in love very quickly.

Leo: So wonderful. They're extremely intelligent but they never seem to get the pay off that they deserve for their hardwork. They know exactly what they want but will never go after it. They'll have so many images in their heads of what they're looking for in a partner and then go after everyone else instead. They break down over little things but it's probably just a build up of so many other things they're dealing with at once.

Virgo: They never really know themselves. They shape themselves off of what they think is cool rather than who they really are inside. They're easily frazzled and never sure how to handle it. They want you to love them and only them. They use their jealousy as a weapon. But their hearts are pure. Their intentions are always for the best. At least that's what they believe. Loyal to a fault.

Libra: Always excited to see you. Always into some new trend or lifestyle or belief system. Easily persuaded. Huge hearts. Just the sweetest. One day, they'll remember every moment of every interaction you've ever had with them and be able to recall even the smallest details, and then the next they won't even remember what month you were born in. Silly. Their love for themselves is something everyone should strive for.

Scorpio: Oh man, they come off as such bitches. They never make a good first impression. But they're really just chill as hell. They just want to go to the nail salon with someone and share a bottle of wine. Obsessed with aesthetics. They're either extremely well put together 24/7 or they live in the same sweatpants for weeks. Everyone uses them and Scorpio is well aware of this. That's why they may seem hard to get to know at first. But it's worth the struggle.

Sagittarius: Way too cute. Just freaking precious. They are extremely caring and always want to help people. Kindness comes above all else. Except when it comes to themselves. They just don't treat themselves the way they deserve to be treated! They're wonderful and they need to see it too! They don't admit how jealous they are. They'll break up friendships in such a sneaky way that you would assume they never even had a hand in it.

Capricorn: They're all huge cuddle bugs. Super addictive personality. Either nothing is ever their fault, or absolutely everything is. Any emotion they have, they always feel it at 5000% power. They live in the moment and never think things through properly. They really should live alone tbh. Fiercely loyal. The best hugs, hands down.

Aquarius: They are absolutely certain that they know more than you and they won't be asking for second opinions, thank you very much. They're weird in all the best ways. They're very intelligent -and if they're not, they're so damn good at talking that they'll have everyone convinced that they're a genius. Their energy needs to be properly directed or else they'll probably destroy everything.

Pisces: Always sleepy. Obsessed with being an artist, but they can't stop daydreaming and doubting themselves for long enough to actually work on their art. Self destructive as fuuuuuuck. Either nothing bothers them or everything does. They love plants and animals more than humans. They see random people on the street or in cafes and they can imagine a whole, fairytale life with them.

[wtfzodiacsigns]

The signs as I’ve known them

Aries: Impulsive. Easily jealous. Their hearts are too big for their bodies but somehow, they take it out on themselves. They care so damn much about the right people but never enough about themselves. Lost. I miss my aries.

Taurus: Fucking beautiful. Self loathing. It’s not necessarily that they have an addictive personality, but rather they fall in love with their vices. They romanticize everything that’s just outside of their reach. They make you fall so fucking in love with them so quickly. My Taurus would show up to my dorm, drunk as hell, and only wanting me. But they’re also distant. It’s always about whatever is the furthest away and never about what’s right in front of them.

Gemini: Extremely articulate. Very charismatic. They can get super “in their own head” and mentally vanish for hours. They’re pretty shy, but if you approach them first you’re going to have an amazing conversation. They have great laughs that always welcome you in.

Cancer: interesting. People pleaser. They want everyone to like them and they will change their persona to match whoever they’re talking to. They genuinely just want to make people happy. They’ll do anything for the people they care about. They think they’re very guarded but they always seem to fall in love very quickly.

Leo: So wonderful. They’re extremely intelligent but they never seem to get the pay off that they deserve for their hardwork. They know exactly what they want but will never go after it. They’ll have so many images in their heads of what they’re looking for in a partner and then go after everyone else instead. They break down over little things but it’s probably just a build up of so many other things they’re dealing with at once.

Virgo: They never really know themselves. They shape themselves off of what they think is cool rather than who they really are inside. They’re easily frazzled and never sure how to handle it. They want you to love them and only them. They use their jealousy as a weapon. But their hearts are pure. Their intentions are always for the best. At least that’s what they believe. Loyal to a fault.

Libra: Always excited to see you. Always into some new trend or lifestyle or belief system. Easily persuaded. Huge hearts. Just the sweetest. One day, they’ll remember every moment of every interaction you’ve ever had with them and be able to recall even the smallest details, and then the next they won’t even remember what month you were born in. Silly. Their love for themselves is something everyone should strive for.

Scorpio: Oh man, they come off as such bitches. They never make a good first impression. But they’re really just chill as hell. They just want to go to the nail salon with someone and share a bottle of wine. Obsessed with aesthetics. They’re either extremely well put together 24/7 or they live in the same sweatpants for weeks. Everyone uses them and Scorpio is well aware of this. That’s why they may seem hard to get to know at first. But it’s worth the struggle.

Sagittarius: Way too cute. Just freaking precious. They are extremely caring and always want to help people. Kindness comes above all else. Except when it comes to themselves. They just don’t treat themselves the way they deserve to be treated! They’re wonderful and they need to see it too! They don’t admit how jealous they are. They’ll break up friendships in such a sneaky way that you would assume they never even had a hand in it.

Capricorn: They’re all huge cuddle bugs. Super addictive personality. Either nothing is ever their fault, or absolutely everything is. Any emotion they have, they always feel it at 5000% power. They live in the moment and never think things through properly. They really should live alone tbh. Fiercely loyal. The best hugs, hands down.

Aquarius: They are absolutely certain that they know more than you and they won’t be asking for second opinions, thank you very much. They’re weird in all the best ways. They’re very intelligent -and if they’re not, they’re so damn good at talking that they’ll have everyone convinced that they’re a genius. Their energy needs to be properly directed or else they’ll probably destroy everything.

Pisces: Always sleepy. Obsessed with being an artist, but they can’t stop daydreaming and doubting themselves for long enough to actually work on their art. Self destructive as fuuuuuuck. Either nothing bothers them or everything does. They love plants and animals more than humans. They see random people on the street or in cafes and they can imagine a whole, fairytale life with them.

Source: lunerbean

[zaruba-needslove]

Ahaha. Here I am again with sharing another vid of this same bloody song with meta pasted alongside it. It’s weird how so often my gut feelings over a show ended up hitting right on target. 

Like in some other vid comment I said that this song was practically Hyungbin/Soohyuk suffering song. In which few others also agree/had the same opinion and few others argued that it’s not. Since the song appeared in Jongbeom’s scene as well. But now after the drama was concluded and we saw the full picture, there should no longer be any doubts as to whom this song mostly represented. (Like you should watch this vid and look at the lyrics/translations of the lyrics and think about Hyungbin/Soohyuk’s plot throughout the series.)

That said, I might as well do a meta on Hyungbin/Soohyuk now. (Been meaning to do this for a while tbh.)

Since KBSdrama youtube tend to share clips of the current airing drama clips shortly after the episode air, I tend to check the channel out whenever I’m following any certain KBS dramas that I like. And because of that, I tend to read people’s comments as well. Bad habit. There’s something that bothered me a bit about how some people viewed Hyungbin/Soohyuk’s character. Like how they said Hyungbin was an incompetent policeman (for assuming Gong Jicheol the serial killer etc) and how Soohyuk was such a corrupt prosecutor (for having falsified evidence etc) and using that as the reason why they prefered Gong Jicheol/Cheon Jongbeom as their preferred character. While yeah, everyone is allowed to have their preferences I can’t help wanting to defend that Hyungbin/Soohyuk was not the kind of people they think they were.

I mean, how would you expect Hyungbin to figure out the real killer especially when the dude (Gong Inu) was technically ‘dead’ officially? And that time period... there’s still no DNA technology, at most people could test for blood types... as well as fingerprint analysis. And with the many conflicting details (different person who kills, different person to put on the socks on the victim, different(?) person that paints the portraits of the victims...) that didn’t quite make sense, how could Hyungbin figure out who was and wasn’t a suspect? It’s not like Hyungbin was some bigshot cop who had informants all over the place!

(Not to mention the whole how the hell Gong Inu manage to fake his death... but we gonna set that argument aside for now.) With all that already present, making Hyungbin’s investigation a bit problematic to figure out... isn’t it VERY troublesome when you have this kid Gong Jicheol trying to ‘fake’ a new victim, under the pretence of wanting to create a new brain-dead person who could later become a heart donor for Haeeun, by linking his murder to be a part of Gong Inu’s serial murder? Would that be Hyungbin’s fault that Gong Jicheol end up falsely accused for Gong Inu’s murder? While it’s true that Haeeun didn’t exactly see Jicheol murdered the woman, she was there when the woman screamed after being hit by Jicheol, and that salon had only ONE entrance and Jicheol was the only other person inside. What you gonna say about that? Gong Jicheol DID. STILL. MURDERED. A PERSON. And Haeeun ended up having testified for that... albeit under false accusation as it was assumed to be part of a serial murder when it was not.

And this guy also happened to have a big crush on Haeeun and have a habit of shadowing her night and day. And it also happened that Gong Inu was also aware of this crush... and you also have a very carefree Haeeun who still happily carrying around a YELLOW umbrella when a serial murder case with the victim’s being women WITH yellow umbrellas still unresolved. (Oh no... it got Dooly’s picture on it. No dear, IT DOES NOT MATTER!) Do you think, with all this being stacked on Hyungbin’s conscience, that dude will not be EXTRA wary and protective over his girlfriend who happened to have a weak heart and also happened to be the daughter of a couple he inadvertently led to their deaths because of a criminal that he had been chasing after? Do you think that guy will NOT be very frantic when he finds out the stalker that shadowed his gf happened to keep HER UMBRELLA at his home as well as being caught burning the actual keepsake of Gong Inu’s murders in the open??? How on earth would you think that Hyungbin would NOT see Gong Jicheol as a murder suspect? Heck, he was even MURDERED in order to have Gong Jicheol be blamed for his death!

HOW CAN YOU THINK HE WAS INCOMPETENT DETECTIVE WHEN HE’S JUST BEEN INVESTIGATING BASED ONLY ON THE INFORMATION THAT HE HAD AT PRESENT? Also about him initially refusing to have Haeeun testify against Jicheol. Oi, Haeeun had a weak heart. Do you think Hyungbin would want to risk endangering her wellbeing by having her testify at court just so he can get Jicheol jailed? After what happened to her parents?

When Gong Jicheol ran away and try to look for Haeeun, what did you think the first thing that came to his mind? Haeeun’s safety! And he had a reason to be worried. Gong Jicheol did attack the doctor who was checking on him! And we don’t even know if the doctor was only slightly injured or DEAD.

Also on Soohyuk. We were given a brief back story on how Soohyuk’s father ended up suiciding because he felt responsible, due to the fact that the criminal to whom he thought was repenting on their crimes ended up KILLING the witness who testified against them right after they were released from prison. How do you think that incident would’ve affected Soohyuk? As much as his late father had told him to believe in the good of people and that we should give chance for them to redeem themselves, after what happened to his father, do you think he’d trust the words of criminals that claimed to have turn a new leaf and regretted their crimes? Would he ever again trust the words of a criminal? Then, weigh all that to his reason for using unidentified remains and fabricating evidence to make sure all criminals get locked in jail and never again hurt anyone he cared about. Unlike Cheon Seoktae who did it mostly to rise in ranks, Soohyuk just want to keep criminals off the streets. Yes, while his methods may be too extreme... consider this. Can you always know for sure whether someone was innocent or guilty of a crime ESPECIALLY when you don’t have enough evidence/unable to find any evidence because the criminal hid it too well? If you somehow fail to convict a murderer and let them go free, how’d you feel if those criminal create even more victims? Wouldn’t all that guilt haunt you for life afterwards? Then tell me, if you can judge Kim Soohyuk and the people supporting his methods for doing what they did? (The drama DID hint on that tbh, like Dr. Yoo mentioned something about a past case... but we never got to hear about that because the drama sucks on the development of the crime plot.)

Also on the part when Soohyuk shot Jongbeom. That very scene that was almost a parallel between the earlier Hyungbin-Jicheol confrontation. On both situations Hyungbin and Soohyuk was in a state of alarm and panic over Haeeun/Sabin’s safely. And then you have Jicheol/Jongbeom being dodgy AF in between them. And afterwards, both of them made a sudden movement. You think anyone could think long before reacting to the situation? When even ONE SECOND could change between life or death, especially when Soohyuk thought Sabin was hurt (the blood spill from outside, her being tied up, Jongbeom holding a knife and hulking over her menacingly)? And all this could’ve been avoided had Jicheol/Jongbeom just stayed still and disarm himself and allow Hyungbin/Soohyuk to be at ease and be assured that Haeeun/Sabin was safe. Like Jicheol/Jongbeom argued that no one cared to listen to them but on the other hand they also did not bother to listen to others or trust them? So you cannot put all the blame solely on Hyung/Soohyuk for reacting to the situation as is because it’s either that or losing someone they loved. Soohyuk himself had said that the incident was also traumatic to him as well. Meaning he wasn’t also in the calmest state at that time!

Also, I ended up arguing with some other people who still insist that Soohyuk deserved his bad ending because Soohyuk needs to pay for his past sins... even more than Jicheol, and WTH was that LOGIC? As if Hyungbin wasn’t already paying for it by becoming Haeeun’s legal guardian as well as fiancee because of his guilty conscience for indirectly causing Haeeun’s parent’s death to the extent of him having symptoms similar to Haeeun's heart attacks, as well as him being content JUST by seeing Haeeun alive and well thus he ended up going to the extremes in order to protect her. HOW MUCH PUNISHMENT DID YOU WANT THAT POOR FICTIONAL PERSON CARRY?

*breathe*

This should be enough then for Hyungbin/Soohyuk meta. Anything else I’ll just be throwing it all out on my fics. Even if no one would unlikely be reading any of it because of how messed up this drama had been. I need to take a break at writing this. Cos all the anger that resurface while typing this made me feel sick again I need to get something to drink.

[weareallmixedup]

Hi, I am Black (AA) and white (Eastern European Jewish) and racially ambiguous/conditionally wp. I often get read as Asian or Latina. My hair used to be very curly but now is pretty straight (long traumatic story). Recently I been rockin box braids. I feel so much more like myself but I'm worried about the damage to my hair, that if non-Black people see me in braids or a dashiki they'll think it's okay to appropriate, and that I feel like a fraud

Anon-friend, you CANNOT appropriate your own culture, I can’t stress that enough. There are cases where it’s possible to contribute to the appropriation of your own culture but given the information here, I don’t see that as what’s happening

Non-Black people will use any excuse to be veritable shit-goblins about Black culture if that’s their inclination, it honestly doesn’t matter if they see you and think you’re White and have a “I’mma cosplay Rachel Dolezal today” moment. If they do that, it’s really not gonna be your fault, they’d do it anyway regardless if they saw other White people/non-Black people doing it tbh. Anti-Blackness is a helluva thing and so insidiously pervasive in “unnoticeable” (to non-Black people) ways that they wouldn’t even see it as a “I saw someone else do it so it must be okay” thing

More like a “society is centered around me and my gimme gimme popular culture that I can’t fathom that things I want are ever not for me as long as I feel like I’m being ‘respectful’” yanno? 

Also, boxbraids are a protective style, you’ll be aiight tbh. If your hair got straight through repeated trauma to it from chemicals or relaxers or whatever, be careful of course, but if you had very curly hair in the past, I doubt the texture has gone greasy-silk with becoming straight so the hairstyle should still work for you. If you feel like your hair is too tight though, I mean beyond the Aunties at the salon just going “shh, shh, you’re just tender headed”, prolly take them down for a while and monitor how your hair behaves for a bit to make sure it’s not thinning out

But beyond that? Black is Black, even when we’re mixed. Even when we’re lightskinned. You’re entitled to Black culture and Black styles because you’re Black. You are NOT a fraud--Coyote

[hell-is-a-teenage-girll]

Confession time: sometimes I look at your posts with S and I get sad and my heart hurts because I just want that with my girl like, right now (and every day tbh) and I love how you two are with each other it just makes it physically hurt to miss my girl. You two remind me of me and her so much and sometimes I think about wanting to be couple friends with you but then I remember that I am awkward bean and also I want to respect boundaries and you have also stated multiple times that you aren’t really that social so I didn’t wanna make you uncomfortable but yes sorry about this long ass message. I just wanted to say that I love seeing your posts and yet at the same time I sometimes get jealous (not of either of you specifically) just that you guys get to do all of this and I just want it so badly with my girl but the ronies had other plans 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 I hope you two amazing people have an equally amazing day

First of all... you are adorable okay haha this ask is adorable.

you can always maybe start of by sending me asks maybe and we’ll see?

I’m just a person who doesn’t do well with small talk and I barely mentally connect to people, but I love when it does happen, so who knows!

I love awkward beans. I am one! and I think it’s adorable that you want to accept my boundaries, you do sounds like a person I could get a long with so! I don’t know where you are from, but I hope the laws will make it easier on you to see your girl. I know it’s a difficult thing.

but trust me, we don’t do all that much, we literally just stay at home, eventho I know that is already great, because I love just being with her and I am happy not to having to go through all the bad pain days on my own. I’m gonna ramble so I’m sorry if you aren’t interested that’s fine haha, I just wanted to talk I guess..

The thing is, because of my health, that’s been like this for over 10years, my “ selfish” years got taken away from me, I am not even in control over my body. I’ve seen people my age do so many things, go out alot, move around, do things, party, ... And I’m stuck.most of the time I’m fine with it, but sometimes all of a sudden it can hit me and I feel very sad and alone. Most of the time whenever I finally break and cry (because I often just shrug and say eh it is what it is) And I end up hiding away in the bathroom, as it’s the only place in the house I feel comfortable, and I just sit on the ground and cry, alone. Because I don’t wanna show others, I don’t want them to see me like this, it’s a dignity thing. Now with covid I have absolutely nothing anymore My best friend used to make sure, we’d get out atleast once a week, or he’d come by to massage and help me in my household or just to make me feel less lonely, that cannot happen anymore. And since it’s winter this is my day;

I wake up, I have a choice to make, will I lay in bed the entire day, or the couch. Both of them hurt my body, but I have no choice because doing things also often hurt my body and of all the thing I did used to be able to do, I can’t anymore. I can’t go to flea markets, I can’t go to the tanning salon (which I mainly did for the warmth and it’s amazing for my muscles and it helped mentally aswell), I can’t go to physical therapy as much as I could before, because the weather is bad whenever I have normal therapy, we can not go for a walk (normally she picks me up and we take a walk because I barely can leave the house and I am scared because of my social anxiety to come outside on my own), I can deal better with being alone during the warmer months because I live in my garden basically, I am not stuck in my bed or couch and between four walls.

So whenever people send me things about being jealous, or worse saying we’re selfish for meeting eachother (while we take tests, don’t come outside, both are extremely careful, you can not even board the plane if you’re sick) I want them to keep in mind, my life has been like this for years, and I would NEVER take this for granted, I would also never be like, let’s go places, Idgaf, because I do. Visiting a partner is an essential travel in many countries laws, and Belgium is one of them, And I am lucky in that sense I know, but don’t envy me. I am in pain 24/7 and often S. just lays by me. And sometimes I feel guilty and I cry to her and tell her, I just wanna be selfish for once, and I just want you here, does it make me a bad person? Does it make me bad to just not wanna suffer alone and want something that makes me a little happy? I carry a constant guilt because of the things I can’t do eventho it’s not my fault, but I do. And she’s the only one that sees me hysterically cry about the pain and most of all the guilt, and just almost broken about just wanting to atleast having a hand to hold at times.

I understand you wanna be with your girl, and this is in NO MEANING WHAT SO EVER A JUDGEMENT TOWARDS YOU! I just wanted it out there I guess. But maybe this will make the envy feelings a bit less. Yes we have cute pictures and all, but there little moments, most of the time we lay in bed because I’m having a bad day (again).

I just want everyone to never forget once they get their freedom back OR whenever they do get to see their family and partner, PLEASE DON’T EVER TAKE THESE THINGS FOR GRANTED ANYMORE, not even long after covid, because most of you will have gone back to their lives, my life will still be the same, as will others, and I want you guys to fully enjoy this freedom that WILL come back, it will! 

you will see each other again my dear I know it, I just hope it will be fast! and I really want that for you! and for every one else missing a person, I hope you all get to be with them soon. My heart goes out to all of you 💕💕💕

[thatwanderingwriter]

92 Truths

Rules: Write 92 truths about yourself, then tag 25 people

Tagged by my cyclone - @redrackham87 

LATEST…

[1] Drink: black currant fanta [2] Telephone call: dani [3] Text message: reagan [4] Song you heard:  “pieces” by andrew belle [5] What do you think?: well my general opinion on life is that everyone tries too hard, but I’m sure that’s not what you meant

HAVE YOU EVER…

[6] How do you do it?: maybe it’s maybelline [7] He has cheated on you: do you mean my celebrity crush? because yes, he’s gone out with other girls and not me [8] He kissed someone and lamented: i’m sure, because he’s never actually spoken to me [9] How do you do? f(reaked out) i(nsecure) n(eurotic) e(motional) [10] Depressed: eh, it comes and goes [11] Got drunk and thrown up: never been drunk

LIST THREE PREFERRED COLORS …

[12] bright blue [13] black  [14] lavender

IN THE PAST YEAR…

[15] made new friends: yes, and they’ve really helped me. they made life more bearable and made me see i wasn’t entirely alone [16] fallen in love: with the people here [17] laughed until you cried: yep, quite frequently  [18] discovered that someone was talking about you: yes. i hear “mzungu” everywhere i go and it’s not fun [19] met someone who changed you: the mother of four who was dying of aids yet still forgave her husband for leaving her with the kids when she was extremely sick. i’ll never forget that [20] discovered who your real friends are: when you move halfway around the world and only 3 people semi keep in touch, yeah, you tend to realize [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: lol, no

GENERAL…

[22] How many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: ...all of them? if you mean do i still keep in touch or regularly see them, no. i don’t really even use fb anymore [23] Do you have any pets? 16 chickens, 7 cows, 3 cats, 2 dogs, and a partridge in a pear tree [24] Do you want to change your name: i always thought it’d be cool when i was younger, but then i wouldn’t be an abstract concept and it’s grown on me also i feel like everyone i know will continue to call me hope anyways, or like “that person formerly known as hope” so... [25] What did you do for your last birthday? went to the nearest big town and had a small get together

[26] What time did you wake up? this section says “general”, so i’ll go with anywhere  from 5:45 to 7:00 on any given day [27] What were you doing at midnight last night? sleeping. i’ve been sleep deprived this whole week and i needed the rest [28] Name something you can’t wait for: flying back home [29] When was the last time you saw your mother? like 3 hours ago?? [30] What is one thing that you wish you could change in your life: sometimes i wish i didn’t care so much or overthink things. it’d make my life way less complicated. but then other days i’d just say my hair color, probably [31] What are you listening to right now: the waves of lake victoria crashing against the beach outside my window. also some birds. natural nature sounds are the best [32] Have you ever spoken to a person named Tom?: he is my grandfather and lives 100 feet away so yes. [33] Something that is getting on your nerves: the fact that MY PHONE FREAKING STOPPED WORKING AND I HAVE 1 MONTH UNTIL I CAN GET A NEW ONE!!! [34] Most visited website: ao3 tbh [35] Elemental: earth

[36] High school: did you mean: homeschool [37] School: of repressing my feelings and acting like everything’s fine [38] Hair Color: i’m pretty sure the shade is called  dirty blonde, but that’s because i haven’t been to a salon in 2 years. it’s literally the first thing to go when i get back. i need it darker   [39] Long or short hair: long and curly, which means it’s actually super long [40] Do you have a crush on someone: who don’t i have a crush on is the correct question here. but they’re mainly celebrities or fictional characters

[41] What do you like about yourself: that i continue to try even when i’ve messed up before [42] Piercings: one in each ear, but i want to get a second set [43] Type of blood: a+ [44] Nicknames: anyango, nyakwar kadem [45] Marital status: i’m a single pringle that’s ready to stay inside and binge watch on netflix

[46] Zodiac sign: aries [47] Pronouns: she/her [48] Fav television program: it’s cute you think there’s just one. anything marvel really. i like fantasy, sci-fi, crime shows, some superhero shows, comedy. there’s too many to name [49] Tattoos: my dad would kill me no matter how old i was [50] Right or left hand: i always wanted to be ambidextrous, but any 3 year old can write better than my left hand

FIRST…

[51] surgery: tubes in my ears when i was 3  [52] piercing: ears [53] best friend: i think my first best friend was natalie [54] sport: gymnastics when i was 3 [55] vacation: mexico, age 4  [56] pair of coaches: i’m guessing this is for sports again? i can’t remember their names, but there were these 2 super nice ladies teaching my gymnastics class

RIGHT NOW…

[57] eating: nutella out of the jar (don’t judge, we all do it) [58] drinking: water [59] I’m about to: start preparing for something i have to do tomorrow. as usual, i’ve procrastinated  [60] listening to: the waves still [61] waiting: for my life to chill (wishful thinking, right)  [62] wanting: a veggie burger and coffee milkshake  [63] getting married: eventually [64] career: doctor or author. can’t decide

WHICH IS BETTER…

[65] hugs or kisses: there’s no cure like a really good hug from the right person when  you need it [66] lips or eyes: both are just so expressive. [67] shorter or taller: taller so he doesn’t lean on me [68] major or minor: i don’t really get this, but i’m going to guess you mean music. as most songs are in major chords, that’s probably the majority of what i like [69] romantic or spontaneous: imo, they’re the same thing  [70] good arms or good stomach: okay but here’s the thing, tom hiddleston  [71] sensitive or strong: yes [72] connection or connection: are there words missing here?  [73] troublemaker or hesitant: neither

HAVE YOU EVER…

[74] kissed a stranger?: nope [75] drank strong liquor?: no [76] lost glasses / contact lenses? not yet [77] rejected someone?: yes [78] had sex on the first date?: i haven’t period  [79] broken someone’s heart?: i doubt it [80] had you heart broken?: quite a bit, yes [81] been arrested?: no [82] cried when someone died?: yes [83] fallen for a friend?: yes. do not recommend

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

[84] yourself?: i can do a lot of things right and be happy with myself for a day, then do one thing wrong and ruminate over it for weeks. i do try to believe in myself. sometimes it’s just really hard [85] miracles?: yes i believe in miracles. where you from, you sexy thang [86] love at first sight?: yeah, just not for me. someone can look/seem nice and be really terrible. there are also crushes at first sight. but those never turn out the way you want them to [87] father christmas?: i never actually believed in santa, even as a kid [88] kissing on the first date?: depends on if i know them really well before. if not, no  [89] angels?: yes

OTHER…

[90] Name of the current best friend: luz, and i’m so excited to see her again soon [91] Eye color: i joke that i have mood eyes, but it’s really true. some days they lean towards green or grey, but on most they’re a variant of blue [92] Favorite movie: avengers (and anything marvel), penelope, rodger’s and hammerstein’s cinderella, jane eyre, star wars, clueless, the fault in our stars, in time, around the world in 80 days, (500) days of summer, etc. (this is not a “one movie to rule them all” type of situation here. you’ll never make me choose. NEVEEERRRRRRR)

dang, that was a lot. i really don’t know who to tag, so if you want to do it, go ahead.