#my fault for pulling more than i shouldve

[unlikelyapricot]

imagine wasting all your crystals on the last rerun of a banner and then the recollection gacha for that card pops up immediately after with no warning. lmao. lehmaow even.

[gamblersdoll]

pls pls pls do bakugou w a corruption kink 🙏

tw: corruption kink, pro-hero! katsuki

katsuki never wanted a sidekick.

at least, never expected to be paired with one that wasnt the redhead that kept him in check or the green haired nerd he grew up with.

but someone new? fuck that, you could fuck up the whole mission— especially if youre just starting out. he didnt have time for your messes, nor the “why are you this angry hero?” conversation that was always thrown at him.

but what he doesn’t expect? is that youre smarter than you look. quiet, even more so. he’ll forget youre even there, a pipe up from you ? hes got a gauntlet at your head and a string of curses on his breath. “stop fucking sneaking up on me.”

“well, be more aware then.” you snipe, earning a glare from him.

“i am fucking aware.” he growls, his hands curling into fists. “i thought you left and it was someone else—“

“well then, you shouldve followed me. or ordered me to stay put.” you retort, rolling your brown sugar eyes. “lets get back to work.” you chime, actually walking away from him. he seethed, you knew he didnt particularly like your sass. it spurred him on, always grumbling about youre a ‘bitchy little hero who doesnt know what shes doing.’

but oh, you did.

you always were four steps ahead from him— which infuriated him even more than ever.

“do you ever even get laid?” you randomly ask, he was alot more grumpier today. “like, do you ever even get women in your bed or vice versa?”

he side eyes you, seeming offended. “who the fuck starts a conversation like that?!” he growls, eyes furrowing. “and wouldnt you like to fuckin’ know.”

“yer grumpy, so i just thought you hadnt drained them in years.”

his jaw ticks, and your eye catches the movement. “im not working with you to talk about my sex life, yer just a—“

“a sidekick who doesnt know what she’s doing but yet is always four steps ahead, or maybe even completed things without your help. yeah, yeah, i know, dynamight.” you parrot, a growl leaving his lips. “are you a human or a animal?”

“the fuck does it look like.” he deadpanned, opening his mouth to speak, but you cut him off.

“well, act like it. i know yer’ mama raised you better than that.” you snicker at the glare in his eyes, he grinding his teeth. “lets get moving.”

and a cardinal rule he strictly followed— or now, tried to: never fuck your coworkers.

but right now? he’s not sure of himself. he cant tell what the hell this is.. the villains quirk making him immobile to the power, and unfortunately for fucking him— you have to help his sorry ass.

“i dont see how you got yourself in this mess, dynamight.” you chip, bandaged his wounds and shake your head. “yer suppose to be more keen—“

“i am fucking keen.” he hisses, glaring at you. “shit happens.”

“yes, but you don’t usually have problems like this. .” you mumble, fixing him up like you were his nurse, but to pull away immediately when you were done.

why did he feel like it was a damn shame you pulled away?

“flattery wont get my cock in you.” he spits, immediately regretting the words.

“youd be the last person i fuck.” you spit back, looking away and leaving. he hates the feeling— what fucking feeling? he wanted to be left alone, right? so why was he still stuck on your scent. his eyes wander over you, the sway and swell of your hips leaving his room and he inwardly groans.

what the fuck was his problem?

it all came crashing down when he was caught off guard— you chastise him about it, how could he be so careless with his and especially your well being?? especially when you both didnt know what quirk this villain was about.

a sex quirk, inevitably making him question all the rules he set on himself.

he pants, feeling like some teenage boy in heat like a bull in september. he cant do this shit, it was your fault— distractions to him made him weaker. but who could blame him? you were stunning to him, making him question all the things you did in your past time..

did you ever slip a finger between your legs and ride your pretty hands?

fuck, he was stupid for even thinking that.

but he wanted it more than he thought..

and it all came crashing down when he ‘accidentally’ kissed you, claiming ‘its just the quirk making me do this..’ and you didnt believe him, nor did he. looking up into his eyes while on your knees, you like the long translucent string of his pre-cum that oozed from his pink tip. he groans.

“h—holy fuck..” he mumbles, his thighs flexing and straining to stay still. “quit it..” he mumbled again, denying you of himself, even when he obviously wanted more.

“then push me away and tell me to stop.” you offer, heavy lidded eyes staring at him. he swallows, watching his adams apple bob and he sneers at you.

it washed away when you lick the vein crawling up his shaft, and his eyes roll. “fuuuck me—“ he growls, rolling his head back in pleasure. his strong hand snakes into your hair, fingertips massaging the scalp. “cut the shit—“

“then, tell me to stop, tell me you dont like this—“

“i dont like you.” he spits, no heat in his words no matter. “i dont fucking like the way this feels.” you pull away, attempting to rise to your knees, but he bucks his hips to you. “fucking, no—“

“oh? you want me to keep going?” you ask, cooing. “i thought you didnt like it?” so condescending.

“fuck you.” he grits, and you put your fingers in his mouth.

“such a vulgar mouth, katsuki.” you tease, watching his cock twitch and he growls. you spread your fingers on his tongue, and he bites them softly. “if you want me to continue, ask me to.” you withdrawal your fingers.

“fuck no.” he said, “i dont ask, i just get it.”

“mm, well, then you can fuck your fist to the thought of me then.” you suggest, but you kiss his tip as you thought was farewell, and he snarls.

“i wont—“ he blows a heavy breath, and grits his teeth to speak. “please, suck me off. and fuck you.”

“you want to fuck me?” you tilt your head, licking a long stripe up his length and he hisses. he swallows, watching you take him all in your mouth and he moans.

“n-no.” he stammers, his taut stomach muscles tensing and he groans. “oh fucking..” he squeezed his eyes shut, moving your head with him.

he was well and truly fucked.

[bbms-bb]

DEAR DIARY - JEALOUSY AU - PEPPI'S POV - PART 2/3

Nov 6

me, tess, and nina hung out today. i felt happy, i havent felt that in a while. maybe i dont need mei or jaime. i can just hang out with my art club friends. i still feel that pit in my stomach. they asked me if i was okay. should i tell them?

PROGRESS

weight

oct 15 - 102

now (nov 6) - 92

----<3-----

Nov 9

I HATE EVERYONE. I HATE EVERYTHING.

i gave in and told them what was happening with mei and jaime. i dont wanna be here anymore. whats the point of living if you suffer even at this age?

they better not tell anyone.

----<3-----

Nov 11

okay.. maybe i wasnt so clear the last entry.. i told tessa, nina, and felicity about the situation, our conversation went something like this:

P: and i feel like its my fault.

T: what.. how is this your fault?

N: i knew something was off about that girl.

F: im so sorry.. if it makes you feel better ill beat her up tommorow!-

P: no! i mean- no, just, please dont tell her..

T: why not? she's like and evil witch who's slowly poisoning your life!

N: Jaime too, i get its unintentional but he hasn't even bothered to at the least talk to peppi, even less wonder how its affecting her!

P: i dont want to do anything about it because their still just friends, but even if they were more than that, it would feel wrong because i care about mei and jaime!

T: caring about jaime is reasonable, but why do you still care about mei?, youve known her for less that 3 months and you trust her already?

the rest of the conversation was alright when i changed the subject

once they left i was wondering why is still care about mei. i had bigger things to worry about. do i?

----<3-----

(TW FOR S3XV4L H4RR4SM3N7)

Nov 18

okay so i shouldve put this down at the start but i couldnt write it down without crying.

this sounds pathetic but i dont think i trust my diary even though its an INANIMATE OBJECT.

god what is wrong with me.

ive never told anyone about this, only my mom knows.

it happened when i was in my mom's hometown in mexico for the summer, i went to go run some errands or my mom, since it was a small and safe town (or so i thought) it was common to see little kids walking around alone, i was ten at the time, so i guess i was one of those kids, i was headed to the grocery store when i was pulled into an alley by a middle aged man, i tried to scream but her covered my mouth. he started running his hands through my body, he was unbvttoning my jeans when my mom's friend, doña petra, who had a store infront of the alley ran in and knocked him out with a broom, then called the cops, she walked me home and told my mom what happened. i never walked out alone in mexico again.

thats it.

----<3-----

Nov 22

i just realized what a mess im becoming. i havent taken the time to get ready, and i would, i just never have the motivation to. everyones been asking me if i was okay, even jaime, he was the last person id expect to ask if i was okay! whats wrong with meeee..

----<3-----

Nov 26

im so tired of everything, im almost failing most of my classes.

----<3-----

tessa and mei got into an argument about me after tess sent a text to mei instead of me.

it went like this:

t: i still cant forgive mei for what she did, you still want jaime right? ive got a plan to destroy mei.

m: who is this?

t: tessa, is this not peppi?

m: THIS IS MEI!

m: penelope is so dead.

----<3-----

nov 27

mei told me this at school.

m: okay listen here you little sh*t, if you dont stay away from jaime im going to make your life hell.

p: i thought you knew i liked jaime.

m: does it look like i care? i never cared about your feelings! you were the only obstacle keeping me away from dating jaime. those nasty rumors about you? that was me! now that he's practically head over heels for me, its gonna be ba breeze getting rid of you! especially now that i have evidence that YOUR the bad guy here! oh, btw im jaime's girlfriend now, just thought i should let you know! byee!!

oh sh*t.

----<3-----

Dec 3

its heather day! since heather is one of me and jaime's favorite songs, we celebrate heather day every year! we exchange sweaters and jokingly talk about people we were jealous about (classmates, celeberties, fictional characters, etc..) while we eat ice cream. i skipped out on the ice cream since i didnt want to gain weight (lost 4 pounds since nov 6 :DD) it was still really fun though! i wanted to talk about how jealous i was of mei, i was jealous of her hair, her clear skin, her flat stomach and hourglass wait, her straight teeth, and that she had jaime, and i didnt. as soon as i thought of mei, jaime started talking about how he had canceled plans with mei to be here, i was preparing myself to hear more about mei until he told me how much he'd missed hanging out with me.

did i hear that right?

----<3-----

i woke up feeling a bit better than i usually do, i checked my phone to see around 25 dms? something big mustve happened, i usually only wake up with around 3 or 4, at the most 5. first i checked the "girlfriends <3" groupchat, which had 4 messages.

T: PEPPI

T: WAKE UP MEI POSTED THE MESSAGE

F: SAY YOUR JOKING RN.

N: WHAT.

one from akilah

A: penelope, why would you do that to mei?!

three from jensen

J: peppi pls tell me mei is just joking.

J: you guys were best friends!

J: peppi?

two from nic

N: why would you do that to mei?!

N: never speak to me again.

one from leticia

L: jaime was so happy with her, why?!

two from jack

J: W move mei had it coming

J: #jaimexpeppiforlife

two from jazmine

J: your a nice person, but what you did to mei was too far!

J: say one more thing to her that isnt sunshine and rainbows and ill make sure you never see the light of day again.

two from olivia

O: mess with her again and your gonna regret it

O: slvt.

and 8 from jaime

J: I HATE YOU.

J: KYS YOU IDIOT

J: i hope you fall in a hole and die

J: i knew you were trying to hurt mei.

J: idek what to say anymore.

J: i wish we never met.

J: dont EVER talk to me or mei again.

J: our friendship is done.

i was already crying when mei sent me a message

M: have fun at school today f**kface <3!

today isnt gonna be pretty.

[strangesnakewithlegs]

I was randomly thinking in the middle of the night and i started thinking about me at my lowest point and now i’m crying?! I’m actually so proud of myself for clawing my way out, and i just feel so bad for 10 year old me.

I had no friends even though it was subtle, i was bullied. The other girls played this game were they would run away and say it was a game when they saw me approaching school.

My mom was working more hours than usual and i was usually at home alone with my stepfather. They were going through a rough patch in their marriage and he kept trying to use me as a therapist of sorts. He also drove me to school and often asked me questions like “does your mom love me?” When i just wanted to go to school, which says a lot considering i cried multiple times over the way other girls treated me in and out of class. Also the school didnt do shit(what a surprise)

It got to the point where i would stay cooped up in my room all day until my mom came home because he never said anything when she was around. I had a fear of my own house and my only safe place was my room where no one would ask me uncomfortable questions.

It got to the point to where my mom got me a dog to cure my loneliness and started working less to spend time with me. I think it helped. To be honest my memory goes blank around this part of my life and i cant remember much from the year other than key moments and how shitty i felt.

I remember an incident where i started losing it and started screaming my head off at a group of girls who usually tormented me lmao. Hella embarrassing now that i think about it but i really needed to get that steam off. Honestly the fact that i feel okay with sharing that incident tells me so much about my own growth.

Middleschool was a godsend(surprisingly, considering the reputation). I found friends, met my current best friend, and basically gained self worth. I was finally the first choice. Also i came out of the closet. The positive effect of being able to share my interests and actually being myself instead of some stitched on personality is crazy. Ngl had some moments here and there but thats unavoidable. Also i chopped off half of my hair(hip to shoulder). It felt oddly symbolic of me letting go, especially considering that i started letting go of the past after that and the fact that i was growing my hair out for the entirety of elementary.

Some of my elementary tormenters still try to rile me up whenever i walk past them in school and i..don’t feel much at all. All i feel is annoyance and even so, its kinda mild. I genuinely dont care anymore and thats a really nice thought when i think about it. Don’t get me wrong though, i do love flipping them off and tripping them in crowded hallways. Its just that i do it out of pettiness and boredom, not any kind of intense hatred. I do hate it when they try to pull that shit with my friends though.

I absolutely fuxking hate my stepfather lmao. He wonders why i hate him and tries to be a father figure to me as though he didnt destroy every chance he had. Too late now asshole. He still gives me money and stuff so that’s nice.

Anyways yeah now that i reflect my mental health has improved so much its actually insane. I genuinely thought about kicking the bucket when i was 10. Now i just enjoy being a menace to society. I definitely still have my moments but thats probably my fault for listening to sad music and making up really angsty scenarios for my ocs lol. Therapy? Who that? Im joking i totally shouldve gone to therapy but i was a scaredy cat.

I feel so relaxed rn its great even though im currently pulling an all nighter and i know imma be exhausted a couple hours later lol.

I feel so proud of myself and it feels kinda weird but also really soothing haha. Ok bye im gonna listen to more sad music about relationships even though ive never been in one hehehe

[majorasnightmare]

like. exclusively dirge posting now and not "dirgeposting that could also still be generalized to durgeposting" like usual

its also just a convenient way to take his overwhelmingly magnetic presence out of the story just enough to force everyone to decide on their own lives without him, because theyll have to live it on their own

dirge stabilizes thanks to Omeluum doing Psychic Mindflayer Surgery but doesnt come to because. Life Threatening Brain Injury. ya know. and now without the tadpole or kressa, his bhaalspawn titan heritage can kick in, cus even a disowned godspawn remains a godspawn still, and if anything would knock your ass into a coma itd be THAT. so he gets moved off the table into a makeshift room at the society of brilliance, and then later into jaheiras, because she really strikes me as someone who takes the dark urge situation a little TOO personally, ya know?

like shes an absent mother because shes scared to be close and vulnerable to people who might have to cope with losing her, because she never really recovered from losing khalid, she just lives with it. and she balances living as a harper and as a parent by just trying to be that cool mom who comes by with stories and presents but never really is emotionally present, out of fear. but its like. shed feel its her fault, ya know? didnt kill sarevok hard enough the first time, didnt redeem him well enough the second, or kill him hard enough the second time. and now this poor child had to grow up around THAT. surrounded by sycophants to the lord of murder and his foul son, indoctrinated into killing, trying to break free and being so terrified of being dragged back. so i feel like internally she blames herself for it. like it wasnt good enough, her first attempts. and that just brings back the memories of khalid and the vulnerability that brings with it, that lets her connect with dirge the way she struggles to with her kids. like i have to take responsibility for you, ya know? its my fault. i shouldve done more for you. i think jaheira doesnt really feel like an absent mother until she meets dirge.

its like. hes a grown ass adult and so is she, but no one knows better what its like to live in bhaals shadow than her. and he IS scared. terrified, in a way that goes beyond speaking. and she DOES want to comfort him. out of responsibility or guilt or something else entirely. a desire not to fail him again, maybe, now that she knows him. so when the absolute falls and there isnt any need to be professional right now, just pick up the pieces, i think that pulls that kind of familial vulnerability shes repressed since losing khalid back out of her. something tender and affectionate because now she doesnt have any reason to deny whats obvious: hes family

the crises dont resolve themselves once everyones stable so like. we all have to figure our own shit out, ya know? dirge wanted so badly to live, more than anything, and he killed himself to keep bhaal from using him to hurt his loved ones (to keep bhaal from using minthara up like a tool for his satisfaction, a legion of spawn and then another corpse thrown out like trash), and he had to kill his sister and the only man who ever loved the person he was, just to fight for the life he was trying to live now. and he did most of that just because you asked him to. so like, can karlach really go to her death in good conscience knowing the kinds of things dirge sacrificed for her own happiness? for her safety? when she means so much to him, and everyone else? she thought that maybe she could go to her death on her own terms and itd be okay, itd be her choice and shed be free, but is it really freedom or just giving up because its scary and upsetting and hard? if the people she loves are willing to fight so hard for her, shouldnt she try to at least hear them out? as much as i love helping karlach want to live and decide to go to avernus, it really is the kind of decision someone should make for themselves. you have to decide to want to live. and she does, she wants to live so bad, she just doesnt think its possible anymore and tried to make her peace with that. and like, it does mean that dirge doesnt get to see her off to avernus or to say goodbye, but it DOES mean he doesnt have to because she'll live, even if its a struggle. they dont say goodbye because theyll get to see each other again

wyll deciding to go to avernus with her, free from mizora with the knowledge that his fathers alive (because dirge saved him, because wyll wanted him to, because even tho dirge hates ulders guts he loves wyll more) and finally making his first free decision without binding himself to someone else, and deciding he wants to spend his time, not just helping frontier strangers who will only ever know the blade, but helping his friend and loved one who knows wyll. the man behind the title. and that being enough.

laezel pursuing the freedom of her people, halsin going to make his sanctuary, neither of them able to wait long enough to say goodbye but taking their lives into their own hands and chasing the oppurtunity to do so before its gone

dirge managed to talk gale out of pursuing ascension (heart rendingly because god thats so much POWERRRRR. but becoming a god would strip gale of anything interesting or worthwhile and reduce him down to a one note wonder devoid of the ability to make full use of the power hed receive, only able to act as a shallow divinity just like the rest of the gods. which is worse than not getting power at all). but i dont think gale is quite ready to commit to being a professor just yet. and dirges injury provides gale with the means to avoid going home and confronting his family (gotta prove myself useful and caretake my situationship!!) and i think that even after dirge comes to gale just kinda. lingers and couch surfs a bit. not ready to face his mom and not sure where to take his life and not quite prepared to make those decisions for himself yet, so instead hes just in that weird state of aimlessness where he copes by doing a lot of the chores

shadkwheart definitely puts her life on hold until dirge is fully up and recovered. knows what she wants and how to get it but for him, shell put her whole life on pause until hes better. after all, its thanks to him that her life isnt so urgent that it cant afford to take a break. astarions in a similar boat, where hes managed to regain a lot of his autonomy post-cazador and mostly just hovers out of genuine concern. minsc does minsc, as always

mintharas a fun one. i think she wants to be the spouse in the hospital chair, endlessly waiting with infinite patience, but i think doing so makes her too antsy. too much buulding anxiety and not enough outlets so shes forced to sit and think and it just makes it all worse. she wants to trust that he'll come back to her, just like he promised, but she cant stand the waiting. i think if dirge doesnt succumb to his injuries for a bit, when planning their life together they would decide on sieging menzoberanzan, which is comfortable and familiar for minthara but also deeply isolates her and keeps her from really moving on. but with him incapacitated and unable to voice his desire to go along with whatever she wants, minthara gets forced into taking the path of change. he cant really be moved, and his recovery time is unknown, so circumstances force her to start taking steps to settle into baldurs gate, which both occupies her free time waiting for dirge to wake up and also challenges her insecure preconception that shes inherently unlikable to most people regardless of deeds. also gives her a taste for those bloodthirsty political machinations she so enjoys, without the anxiety and dread of losing her loved ones that menzoberranzan carries. i think shed manage to negotiate her way into getting the rights to a ruined house in the upper city (destroyed in the absolute attack), that she starts working on renovating to her tastes (correctly assuming that dirge doesnt care and likes whatever she likes), and really starts to make progress settling in on the surface for life, because dirge isnt there to enable her to avoid confronting those insecurities (he loves her and wants the best for her, but she doesnt have the same "i secretly want to talk about this thing bothering me" that the origin companions have going on, and that makes it harder for him to discern the kind of pressure minthara needs to positively change rather than just providing her with the comfort and stability she needs for such a change to be possible. hes good at THAT, its just step two that needs help) (he also just straight up hates baldurs gate and would need to be talked into staying which. minthara having a house locked down goes a good way towards doing that LMAO).

so like in addition to being great hurt/comfort fuel its just a really nice vehicle to force everyone out from being passive actors in their own lives to taking responsibility and agency in their lives, and the positive influence dirge has had on their lives is enough to push them into making better choices for themselves rather than being persuaded into doing things good for them. it flips the dynamic on its head, cuz now dirge has to be dragged kicking and screaming into confronting his unavoidable problems instead of shadowheart lmao. like your disabled bro! its no longer life threatening and your recovered, but this is it! its this forever!!

you cant just rely on circumstance to give your life direction, the emperor isnt going to come by and say you need to kill ANOTHER world ending elder brain, and no god will hold you hostage and command you to do their bidding or youll suffer eternal torture, YOU have to live your life now with the support of all the people youve helped take care of, and now youve got to break the habit of deflecting away from discussing your problems, in part because they just arent going away. your disability is worse now than before and its just Like That now. you have memory issues and sporadic brain fog now, alongside the chronic migraines and nausea and insomnia from before. and you have to live your life. everyone you love chose to live their lives because of you, and now you have to chose to too.

its the kinda narrative i LIVE FORRRRR

[vannyinthestars]

Had an idea for a D&D-esque fantasy character, wrote a snippet of what I think could either be part of a campaign or backstory. Dumping it here so I can get it out of my notes app:

“Your god is a healer!” She pleaded, her hands smudged with her brother’s blood.

“You cannot heal what has already died,” Delphine said.

“Can’t you try,” The other urged. “You’ve healed me when I should’ve been dead.”

“Shouldve been and are dead are not the same,” Delphine’s eyes glowed, ever so slightly. “The prophecy their mother received has been fulfilled.”

The sister blinked, her sobs becoming choked as her head whipped to stare at Delphine.

“What?”

Delphine’s head cocked to the side, and her voice as she spoke was not entirely her own.

“Two of the same blood,

A gamble won,

A soul washed out with the flood,

One will die and one will run.”

Delphine blinked. The glow behind her eyes was entirely obvious then. Her voice was not that of the soft spoken girl they had come to know. “Your mother’s prophecy. You did know, didn’t you?”

It sounded more like a taunt than a question.

The sister’s mouth hung open. “You said a gamble won, my father was the one taken. He was the one taken by the flood.”

Delphine, but not their Delphine, shook her head. She lifted her hand and pointed towards the receding waves. “The flood.”

“Prophecies and their metaphorical bullshit,” Their teammate muttered.

Delphine coughed, blood spilling down her chin. Her body seized, her eyes snapped shut. Then, her figure crumpled. Knees bashing the ground and her palms smacked the dirt. She heard a series of noises in reaction from the others, but none could be made out from the ringing in her ears.

When she came to, Delphi looked up.

“You knew!” She shouted, towering over the fallen girl.

“Calm down,” The other held out her hand, trying to pull her back. “It’s not her fault.”

“Delphine, Delphi,” She shook her head. “How did none of us see it?” She scoffed.

“See what?” Their teammate asked.

“She’s a fucking oracle,” her voice became icy as she spat the words.

“She can’t be,”

-

“Can’t interfere, can’t interfere,” She mumbled, covering her ears. The repetition sounded eerily like the mantras of a child.

“He loved you!” She shouted again. “You’re the reason he’s dead!”

“Hey,” Once again the other tried to soothe her.

“She had to have known,” She spat.

-

“It wasn’t supposed to be him,” She cried, tears creating tiny craters in the dirt beneath her hands. “It was supposed to be you!”

The air went still.

“You’re wrong,”

“No,” Delphi smiled sadly, wiping the tears from her eyes as the blood that had clung to her cheeks began to drip.

[strawberrymatchawhore]

stargirl

rafe cameron

“and i shouldnt cry, but i love it”

summary- you are a flight attendant for a private jet company that the cameron family are members of, on their trip to the bahamas. you just so happen to catch rafes eyes, new and fresh. just for him.

warning/s- thief!reader, mile high club, power imbalance, DUBCON, rough sex, choking, manhandling, degrading, black mailing, crying, money hungry reader etc. IF THESE SUBJECTS MAKE U FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE PLEASE DO NOT READ. THANK YOU. <3 alsooo it would help sm if you guys would comment or request anything in my ask box for more future reads.

you shouldve known it was a mistake to accept this last minute flight, but they promised to pay you extra cash. and obviously you would never say no to that. not that you complained, one person aboard has caught your eye.

rafe cameron

the both of you making side glances at each other for the first 4 hours of the flight, you couldn't help but tease the man. batting your eyes at him, hand on his bicep every time you asked if he needed more drinks or snacks, swinging your hips whenever you went and grabbed what he wanted.

you were standing in the back of the plane, reorganizing and putting stuff away before landing. you sighed putting away the last bag of chips. turning around to leave the room but youre faced with rafe cameron blocking your way.

“excuse me, but youre not supposed to be in here.” you softly said, scratching your arm with one hand. trying to walk past him to leave the room, but he stands still and slides door shut. locking it.

“yeah and youre not supposed to be stealing from me…. are you ?” he leans against the closed door and raises his eyebrow. your breathing becomes labored as you try to find an excuse. you shove your hand inside you skirt pocket and pull out the money you took from his jacket.

“i-im sorry i just really need the money right now, i’ll give it back to you.. here” you grabbed his hand and put it back into his palm, he grabs it and put it in his sweatpants.

“please.. please dont fire me. this is all i have, i need this. im so sorry mr.cameron.” you apologized, staring at him with your doe eyes. he bit his lip, the room is quiet beside the low sniffle sounds of your crying. you have never in your life fucked up this bad, you were scared.

“what, you think after you took money from my own wallet im just gonna take it back and accept your sad ass apology ??” he seethes and backs you up into the counter, he takes your wrists with one hand and pins them on the cabinets. instant pain goes towards your wrists and you yelp surprised by the action.

“nahh baby im gonna take what i want, and then maybe i’ll reconsider firing you.. hows that sound hm ?” his lips centimeters away from your ears, he lowers his head and gently sucks on your neck. he pulls away and smirks when you stare at him with a scared look on your face, wtf was that ?

“you got something to say y/n ? you let one word out and you’ll be sent to jail quicker than that annoying ass pouge kid.” he grabs you and bends you over the counter, roughly pulling down your uniform and panties. you gasp from the coldness of the air hitting your wet pussy.

“wait WAIT PLEASE !!” he lowers himself behind you and puts two fingers inside, your whined at the stretch and moaned even louder when he put his mouth on you and starting licking. it was embarrassing how quickly you gave up.

“shut the fuck up.” he smacks your ass and continues eating you out. he slurps and sucks on your clit, at this point your juices are dripping down your thigh. his fingers curled perfectly inside you, hitting the right spots. you clench around him as you begin to reach your high. this didn’t feel right, it was unprofessional and humiliating. bent over in an airplane, being defiled by a stranger you just met. but then again, this was your fault. whyd you have to steal ?

“f-fuck oh my god, ah- im gonna cum” you whined rutting yourself against his face being for more. he groaned as you squirted in his mouth, licking you clean he rises and roughly grabs your hair by the roots and kisses you deeply. his fingers rubbing your hole, he laughs at how you clench from nothing.

his hands reach your chest and unbuttons your uniform shirt and unhooks your bra, exposing your chest. the cold temperature inside made your nipples harden immediately, rafes big hands massage and grab at your boobs. you stay bent over naked, heavily breathing. anticipating his next move.

you bit your lip when you felt his warm tip teasing your entrance, annoyed when he doesnt put it inside. instead he moves up and down your folds, stimulating your already sensitive clit. you grow antsy and whine pushing your hips onto his. he stops you gripping your waist in a bruising hold.

“what is it ? huh ? you want something you gotta speak up sweetheart.” he mocks, continuing to toy with you. your pussy gets even wetter at his voice.

“put it in rafe, please. fuck me, i need you so bad.. i just need you to touch me.” you beg, letting go of all your good consciousness. squeezing your eyes shut in embarrassment.

“thats it baby.” he groans as he slides into you, eventually bottoming out.

“rafe it hurts, you’re too big.” eyes welling up with tears, he filled you up perfectly. he thrusts in and out slowly. forcing you to feel every inch and vein of his cock.

“aw, i know you can take it. just stay down like this and let me do my job.” his hand pushes down on your lower back, pinning you to the counter.

he leans over you and grabs your face, shoving his fingers into your slightly open mouth. your finger tips turning white from how hard you were gripping the sink. he was fucking you so good, hips harshly snapping into yours. the pit in your stomach growing wider and wider. at this point it was hard to suppress your moans.

“shh shh shh, stay quiet. we dont want people coming in here and see you bent over and getting fucked like a dumb whore. do we ?” he says into your ear, removing his fingers he slaps you and wraps his hand around your neck.

“n-no” you sob, and you know you shouldn’t be but now its getting to you, eating you up.

“fuckkkk, yeah keep crying f’me. it’ll only make me go harder.” he lets go of your neck and grabs both of you arms. holding them behind your back, his tip hitting your cervix each thrust.

“oh g- feels so good plea-ese” you ramble, he laughs at how fucked out you sound. he holds your wrists together with one hand and uses the other to feel the bulge of your stomach whenever he rams into you. you bit your lower lip as fireworks exploded inside you, eyes rolling back from the continuation of his thrusts. he lowly moans and grinds his hips into you, cumming deeply inside you. he pulls out and outs his clothes back on, only bothering to pull your panties up for you.

he grabs the money you stole from him out of his pocket and stuff in in your panties and pats your ass.

“thank you for your services.” he jokes and unlocks the door, closing it once hes out. leaving you to your thoughts.

[go-river-flows]

Welcome back to the Avatar Programme

Part 10 of 13

Summary: Things are ramping up to the war arc of the story, but before that, relationships are being defined.

Warning:A little bit of fluff(?), a little bit of angst(?), A little bit of tears falling(?)

A/N: We're going into the double digits now.

A few weeks after my conversation with Tsu’tey. I had arrived back to Hell’s Gate. I had moved into another bigger room where I had more space to keep some books. I made another easy Dummies Guide to Na’vi for Lyle and anyone else who wanted one. Spending more time of my time with Lyle than my own colleagues. He even taught me how to samba and the flamenco which was quite interesting, also learning that I two left feet. Whenever we had free time, we would find a quiet space where we could cuddle in comfortable silence.

   When Jake completed his rites of passage to claim his ikran in the Hallelujah Mountains, Lyle had finished reading about every types of pandora flora. Even when were lying in bed together he would read reports to keep up with my research, though he had his duties to the Colonel and chores. I feel like something in him has changed, something even Colonel Quaritch didn't see coming. 

As Grace started forwarding me video footage of places on Pandora through the cams, I would look into it. And when the research came in for the Tree of Souls, I was intrigued, having never seen it as it is unrevealed to outsiders. Norm started talking to me again, Jake too. I think maybe, they were beginning to understand my relationship. Maybe they forgave me. 

“Oel ngati kameie,” Jake greeted. Lyle’s eyes widened, as did mine. 

I was having a late night video call with Jake in my bedroom when Lyle came in, greeting me with a kiss on my cheek. I think Jake had come to accept our relationship, especially since that night when I spilled my heart out. I hadn't forgiven them for that. But I didn't tell Lyle about it either, I didn't want to dump all my trauma on him. 

“Oel ngati kameie,” Lyle returned to Jake, perfect pronunciation and all. “It's good to see you man,” he gave a small smile. But I think I can forgive them now.

When Lyle went into the bathroom, Jake spoke again.

“I never really apologised to you that night. I kept thinking about it. I think Tommy would've wanted you to move on,” he gave a sympathetic smile.

“I should apologise to you too. We didn't really talk about it, I just kept it in. I shouldve pulled you aside and just talked, but you know me. Always quiet until I burst,” I smirked, admitting to my faults averting my eyes.

“I think that's what makes you strong,” I looked up at him in awe, “admitting to it. Even when you keep things bottled up. You don't want others to worry. I get it, I was like that too…before Pandora. Before…all this. I'm glad I met you, Tommy would be happy that we met,” he had a genuine smile on his face. He looked just like Tommy, I smiled back too. Finally peaceful and free from melancholy.

After that call, I was ready to be intimate with Lyle. He didn't want to pressure me for it before, but now I was ready. Though I don't want to get into details about it, he was gentle and passionate. His kisses were heated yet soothing. I hadn't realised how long I had went without being pleasured until that moment. And after, he was just as attentive, cleaning me off with a damp towelette before we cuddled. Rubbing small circles on my hip as he lay spooning me.

*

The next day at the canteen. As I sat with Lyle with Zdinarsk were sat together talking about Na’vi’s and their characteristics, mostly about the biology, by which I mean sexual organs which was a weird conversation, but only because Zdinarsk asked so I felt obliged to answer her questions. 

“We were asked to submit our DNA samples yesterday and also to record some weird crap, apparently it's for a future project…project…uh?–” Zdinarsk rambled, forgetting the name of the project.

“Project Pheonix,” Lyle took a bite of his bread, spitting it back out, “Damn stale bread.” 

*

A few days later I joined Grace at Hometree, as one of the witnesses to Jake becoming part of the Omatikaya Clan, becoming a Na’vi man. We stood a distance away watching the na’vi become one as they joined hands. Grace couldn't help but cry a little. We joined in their celebration as the festivities began. The drinks and dancing as music played in the background. Watching Jake drink with his brothers and sisters. 

“I missed this,” Grace mumbled, “Celebrations like this remind me of earth.” She nudged my knee with hers. “Why don't you try being one of the people too?” She leaned towards me.

“Me? Oh no, I couldn't,” I shook my head, my eyes finding Jake as Neytiri pulled him away from the crowd, “Oh. Where do you think they’re going?” I snickered as Grace followed my gaze lightly chuckling too. She gave me a look before shoving my knee, laughing out loud. “I'll go get him.”

As I sauntered after the two through the crowd, Tsu’tey grabbed my hand.

“Tsumuke, I see you. It's been a while again. Why not dance with me?” Tsu’tey walked with me.

“Oh no, I'm a terrible dancer. Plus, I've got to go after Jake…before he does something he’s not supposed to,” I started jogging, Tsu’tey following. Attempting to grab my tail playfully. I playfully pushed him to return to the party.

“I see you’re talking to Grace again. The last time you were here with her, you didn't speak,” the ever observant Tsu’tey said. I rolled my eyes.

“We fought, we made up. That's all that matters,” I pointedly my feet already moving.

“Good.” Was all I heard from him, I waved to him as I walked off into the treeline.

Passing the waterfall on the long flower covered trail, I smelt the air for Jake’s scent as I approached Utraya Mokri, the Tree of Voices, the glowing purple tendrils bright against the evening darkness. Getting closer we can see two figures in the distance. Ah there he is! My ears perked up as we moved closer trying to be silent. Hiding behind a tree, I peered through the tendrils just as Jake an neytiri were making Tsaheylu. Their queues connecting. My smile faltered as I realise what they are doing.

Shit! Uhhh. Ummmm, This is not good, I gasped silently. I should not have come here, how am I going to tell Tsu’tey? I quickly ran back to Hometree. Maybe I should tell Grace. Oh, but she’ll be disappointed again, especially after my outburst. Oh no. I stopped short before Hometree, pacing and scratching the back of my head as I was thinking. I was getting a bad feeling, a really bad feeling.

I called for Grace, pulling her away from the crowd.

“Okay, oaky. I'm coming. Now, what's wrong?” 

“Jake mated with Neytiri,” I said in a rush, but hushed tone, “Like actually bonded with with their queues. This is not good, I've got a bad feeling.”

“What did you say?” a voice said behind us. We turned to find Tsu’tey standing behind us. Our expressions saying all there is to say.

Chapter 11

Taglist:

@sleepilysworld   @drinking-tea-and-be-obsessed  @wolfmoon8269  @howlerwolfmax   @lovekeeho   @ducks118   @dyingofcookies   @secretflowerobservation

[vaguely-yandere]

hai again momo :333 or chamo. or CHAMOMILE <3333 any nickname for u works so u pick!!! also assign me a flower name too so i can pen a name at the end of my brain rots!!

OK SO UR ENEMY YAN. academic enemy yan. what would happen if one day, they finally DO surpass you? maybe it was a test you didnt study too hard for (you were too busy hanging out with a friend and lets face it; your grades are solid and can easily take a hit or two! you still do decently on the test, ofc! star student :D) and enemy yan beats you by a couple points… huh?

‘that doesnt seem right…there’s no way i finally beat them… did i?’ yan thinks. you come up to them after the scores are out and pat them on the back, looks like they can finally stop obsessing over you, now that they’ve finally beaten you! you accept your “loss” in good humor; to be honest, you were kind of getting fed up being on the receiving end of this one sided rivalry you wanted nothing to do with in the first place. youre just glad they finally beat you before things escalated, which recently, it seems to have been. getting accidental likes from them on social media posts you shared months ago, seeing them out of the corner of your eye while you were eating lunch with your friends, being approached and confronted more frequently by enemy yan. you just wanted it to stop, and them scoring higher than you meant that their obsessive behavior would stop. or so you thought.

but no. enemy yan is devastated. what excuse can they use now? to justify their constant talk of you, their constant thoughts of you, the EVERYTHING of you. they already lost all their friends, their free time devoted to studying and hating on you in the shadows. whats their purpose now? its their fault, really. they should have caught themselves before their whole life became triumphing over you. now that its actually happened, they have nothing left. they have no other choice but to keep clinging onto you, much to your dismay.

awwww. how delusional!

hi hi hi!!!!!! honestly, i love the nickname chami, its so cute!

i bet they dont even consider the fact that they shouldve had a backup plan for beating you. for someone who thinks of beating you all the time, they didnt actually plan what to do when it happened so instead of devastation, they feel rage, betrayal and humiliation. clearly this is just some sort of trick! a psychological mind game! this only fans their flames and it finally encourages them to corner you and demand you tell them their secrets. the terror that comes with being cornered by an obviously obsessive and mentally disturbed person wears off around the third time so youre used to this. honestly, their antics dont really disturb you anymore, youre kind of just.. indifferent, which is the perfect type of yandere for them.

i mean, when you have to reassure people with "oh yeah, that's just yandere" then you kinda just get used to being stalked, watched, glared at for hours on end, cornered, yelled at, etc. but they seem really mad this time and extra insane. their life is crumbling before them, how could they?! they just won but it was one measly test! was this some sort of plan? were you trying to pull the carpet out from under them? pull the wool over their eyes? who do you think you are?!

you manage to escape with a well timed punch to their kidney and stomp off, kind of annoyed. what was wrong with them? maybe they wouldve 'beaten you' or whatever a long time ago if they stopped focusing on you so much.

the next day? they're following you. not unusual. but this time, theyre right by your side, glaring at you the entire time. you wanna eat lunch by the smelly trashcans? theyre right there. you need to use the bathroom? so do they! changing during PE? theyre face is bright red the entire time but theyre. right. there. if theyre the opposite gender, they wait right outside the locker room. outside of school, they even try to barge right into your house! its just so cute how delusional they are! they dont even notice how much they enjoy spending time with you <3

[mc-the-bunny]

Okay so hear me out this is my first ever story...

Have mercy on me please :')...

So i had the thought about lucifer being a winemom. And even though i dont particularly like lucifer i was thinking....

What if he would masterbate with the wine bottle and then mc walks 😳🍷

The story:

It had been a long tough day for lucifer.

All day he had been swarmed by paperwork,meetings, bills from mammon and Asmodeus buying things and making sure you dont get eaten or lose interest in him. After all he couldnt bare the thought of you losing interest in him or even worse you dying..

that would be the scariest thing happening to him after lilith died..

beel had also eaten everything in the house twice today. In response this had send satan in a rage, he had punched holes in cabinets and walls.

So now not only lucifer had paperwork he also had to scold satan, which was no easy task. The blonde demon had flung at him so many times (one hitting his abdominal area) before Lucifer could finally get him under control. He lifted his clothing up to reveal a nasty bruise grunting at the touch.

He would deal with satan later.

He also had to Prepare the repairing spells which required special ingredients they didnt have anymore due to beel eating everything including several dishes... So he'd have to go search for the ingredients.... Sigh* why doesnt akuzon have tge ingredients lucifer thinks while scroling to look if they did...

Akuzon had a lot from the east indian special black and red inc he used to the stuff his brothers bought. But sadly no spell ingredients... He could ask solomon if he could get some of the ingredients but he knew solomon would probably want to make a pact with him in return.... Not that he would ask for help otherwise, after all the Avatar of pride didnt need help from a sorcerer.

He walked up to his liquor cabinet

( which was massive)

First he had to drink some demonius to lighten his headache. (and stresslevels because lets be honest the poor man works way to much)

grabbed a bottle of demonius and sat back down behind his desk drinking straight from the bottle.

He hadnt even bothered to pore it into a glass because he would end up drinking the whole bottle anyways.

(bottles and time passed)

3 bottles of demonius later and lucifer finally felt at ease. His alcohol tolerance was naturally very high so if he really wanted to get black out drunk like mammon and Asmodeus sometimes did at parties he would have to at least drink 6 bottles of demonius.

No the 3 bottles just left him tipsy and on edge, feeling like he wanted to have some sexual gratification.

he took the empty bottle of demonius and looked at the shape. The bottles in the devildom (and human world) didnt look to different from those weird toys he saw Asmodeus walking with a few times.

He smirked opening his drawer he took some orgasm gel out. It was the gel he had wanted to use with mc, mc however was already wet enough on their own for him. Dripping down their legs before lucifer even entered them.

He smiled.

However he wasnt going to be dependent on some human to satisfy him.

He didnt want you to think he needed you.

No he was going to satisfy himself with this bottle of demonius, that was now covered in gel. He undid his pants, pulled off his underwear,

and let his hardening member jump out. He putting it on his desk and started to roll the cold bottle back and forth slowly.

his cock hardening at the temperature difference of the bottle. "Fuck " he muttered while pleasuring himself.

He would've been more than embarrassed if anyone would ever know what he was doing, no this was something only he would ever know about.

The only reason he didn't cum was because he didnt want the paperwork to be dirty with his cum. He would never stoop so low.

No he would never.

After massaging his cock with the bottle until it turned the temperature of his skin he looked at the bottle again.

Another idea popped up in his head.

The top looked to be the similar shape of the dildo he had bought recently for mc.

They had been very thankful and thrilled to try it out.

So curious that they couldnt wait to try it and he ended up watching them masterbate in front of him. He shouldve filmed it.

Such a gorgeous delicious sight should be filmed after all he thought.

He'd have to ask mc next time if he could film it.

Their moans of that night had flooded his senses remembering the lovely noises they had made, they seemed to feel so good with that toy inside their ass cumming on his sofa in his secret study.

He walked over to the sofa and looked.

mcs cum still visible on the dark red velvet.

He smirked positioning himself on the sofa ass up.

putting gell on the other side of the bottle now before slowly sliding the bottle in his ass.

A fairly loud moan escaped his mouth.

Its a good thing he had casted a spell to make this room sound proof for the time being otherwise his brithers might of heard him.

No that would be unbearable. They would definitely tease him over it, and his pride would be more shattered than ever.

Due to the orgasm gel his slit around it quite easily. He positioned himself feeling the cold glass reach deeper and deeper in his ass.

His body now felt like it was on fire with pleasure. Another loud moan escaped his mouth. Then he started thrusting the bottle in and out of his ass.

He could feel a orgasm going through his body at high speed.

Faster and faster rougher and rougher. As long as he was in control he didn't care how rough it was.

(nothing to rough for this sadist)

The sounds of his moan increasing in volume with every thrust.

He felt pure pleasure as he felt he was going to cum, he had preps for that to happen however and he Swiftly took the other empty bottle of demonius as he cummed into the bottle.

Putting the full bottle of cum to the side.

He was going to keep thrusting for a littke more he thought.

"Lucifer?"

Lucifer stiffened at hearing your voice, and looked at you like a deer in the headlights.

"what are you doing?"

"Nothing i i was doingbpaperwork "

"with that bottle up your ass? "

You couldnt help but laugh.

Not in a humiliation way but it was the last thing you had expected to walk into when opening his door.

After the knocking was left unanswered you had stepped in only to find lucifer with a bottle of demonius up his as and flushed cheecks as red as apples.

I can explain lucifer quickly pulled the bottle out and sad up, his pride scattered and fearfully awaiting your reaction. What was he thinking not putting a spell on the lock!?.

He would have to wash those bottles secretly later.

washing would be safer due to nosey brothers . you would never be sure if anyone found the bottles or would stumble upon it by accident.

They woukdve immediately known who the bottles had belonged to, after all lucifer was the only one having multiple bottles of demonius on him at all times.

"Lucifer, im sorry for laughing my beloved. Its just that i hadnt expected to find you.. In such state"

... Lucifer fell silent. he felt like his life was over. he was beating himself up for letting this happen.

What would you think of him now?

Would you turn away? He would never get over it if you did.

Sensing his worry you walk up to him and put a arm around his shoulder (not knowing if you should put them on his cock instead)

"Lucy i understand"

You smile at him.

With bewilderment in his eyes he looks at you.

"You do? "

"Yes lucy babe i do, you were under so much stress today. i already thought you had forgotten our date tonight so i initially came to remind you of it "

"im so sorry mc i shouldnt forget -"

"no its okay Lucy its not your fault"

You looked over to the second bottle of demonius on the ground, seeing what you were almost sure to be Lucy's cum in it.

"It is mc how can i apologise? "

"Ill take that bottle"

before he can say no or even think about it you grab the bottle crawl to the corner of the sofa and smell the liquid in it.

Now emerged with the smell of the last bits of demonius his cum smelled like some sort of delicate wine.

"hhhmmmmm it smells so good lucy darling"

He looks at you in shock for a bit but as soon as he realises you dont judge him for masterbating with a bottle he loosens up.

"Does it now my beloved? "

You look up happily

"Yes"

Lucifer chuckles he tries to take the bottle back but you see it comming and quickly run to the other side of the room.

"Nuh uh its mine now lucy"

Lucifer scoffs and makes his way over to you.

Before he can reach you however you already started drinking his cum out of the bottle. Your eyes still fixated on his to see his reaction.

He looks at you before regrouping himself and making his way over to you.

You run to the other side before you continue drinking his cum wine.

"Hmmm mm hmmmmmm, if water tasted like this i would definitely drink enough on a day"

"Mc, stop this weird behavior at once and hand me the bottle..

before i punish you."

He reaches to grab you but having spend so much time with mammon you know how to avoid getting caught. Running further.

Lucifer can't help but smirk, after all hes secretly really proud of you and himself. After all you said his cum is delicious and are getting quite protective.

it is as if lucifer has to take candy from a child.

"Be a good girl and finish it all then"

Your eyes sparkle in excitement

*Really lucy? Thank you!! "

You sit down on the sofa again tired from running around. Lucifer sits besides you rubbing your back waiting for you to finish it all.

You do finish it surprisingly fast and put down the empty bottle. You want to hug him but-

Lucifer grips your hands and handcufs them

"Lucy?"

"yes darling"

he smirks biting your ear softly.

You squeel

"Lucy what are we going to do? We have to be at the restaurant at 6 remember?"

He positions you in a way your but is sticking up. He squeezes it and this draws a moan from your mouth.

"I remember that, we still have 3 hours"

"but-" you stammer.

"i said i would punish you

so be prepared sitting might hurt a bit in the restaurant. "

He says as he takes out his whip ready to spank you senseless for not obeying him.

I hope you enjoyed.

Im sorry for spelling errors im dyslexic😣

[mateasha]

rendevous 18.6y

summary: chikage shows up at the front door of MANKAI after disappearing from the face of the Earth for 3 years. itaru is not happy. fandom: a3 pairing: chikage x itaru word count: 5516 tags:  original characters for the sake of plot, friends to strangers to lovers, angst, fluff, flashbacks, mentions of death, bad attempts at action, bad attempts at comedy

chapter 1: realizations He should be happy for him. Chikage is okay. Chikage is alive, and didn’t… just go somewhere and do god knows what, (which, well, he already did, didn’t he.) but at least it isn’t anything bad, he’s safe and sound and maybe the troupe members will be overjoyed to hear how he’s been doing...

Out of respect, no one has ever taken their spots in their respective troupes.

He observes him even harder from the lounge area in the office, a good break, he thinks, as he grinds some gacha game with his husbando, a little tired from staring at the stupidly “gendered” pink UI with the characters flying across the screen. 

He’s happy. He looks healthy— maybe skin even glowing brighter than ever.

And it’s good for him. It’s amazing to see how happy Chikage looked, “laughing” with his friends, almost heartwarming to see Chikage doing just fine. Why wouldn’t he be? He’s talented, strong, mentally adept, better than h—

He stops that train of thought immediately.

He was happy. So then Itaru should be happy. Even if he was that stupid, unromantic senpai that always was offstandish with just a bit unromantic caring for others when he felt like it.

At least, should be.

He watches as his coworkers walk around him, slinging their arms around each other in camaraderie, as one of them asks him out for drinks after picking up lunch. His smile is almost as wide as he remembers when he figured out Hisoka was alive. And innocent.

He watches Chikage and he doesn’t look back, walking into the elevator without him, because he works on this floor. It’s fine.

But it’s just so fucking funny, when all he wants is just another word, just a reason why he left without even asking Spring Troupe, or literally anyone else for help. He would even trade his life for Hisoka’s, even though he knows that wouldn’t make anyone happy. Well, maybe Chikage. He could go off into some sunset with him and run away from whatever responsibilities he wanted to not deal with. Like Itaru. Izumi. The others. 

He wants to scream out so bad, just for him to come back, but he can’t, like that stupid horror novel that made him feel like shit and all existential for no reason. He feels like he can talk to him about everything, in a sense. Which would make sense, of course, if they were still close. Roommates. But he could only do that in a world where Hisoka is still alive.

—

Chikage knows he’s here.

Why? 

Intuition.

Not really. He looks at him, but chooses not to “look”.

But when he sees his face, almost heartbroken, which is almost questionable. He wants to ignore him so bad. Just move on. Easier said than done, when every week you see him share out information with the company execs.  A Chikage-senpai, no more.

He wants to move on so bad.

But everytime he goes to bed, he can’t stop thinking. He crosses another day off the calendar, it’s been three years, almost three and a half years. 

He tears down his calendar. Who the fuck uses those anyways?

He tries to move on.

But of course, when you have something good, and it gets taken away, you want it back, right? You throw a tantrum like a little child at first, like a baby crying for their pacifier their mom took away from them. Then, you silence yourself, deny you ever wanted it in the first place. But you can’t stop wanting more, wanting it back. You yearn for it so hard that it hurts, almost twists your heart into a fucking pretzel, your stomach bubbling like the filter of the damn fish tank in your too-large-for-one-person office— thanks Boss, not complaining— but you can’t have it. You ignore it.

He knows he wouldn’t be able to deal with it again. It was all his fucking fault. He slams his hand on the desk again, before opening up his work computer.

His vision is hazy, like the only thing he can see is his hands, just a foot in front of him, trying to find his ground, but all that runs through his mind is, “it’s your fucking fault you idiot stupid you shouldve worked harder to protect everyone, cant even do that” it turns out harder than expected. 

But it’s not his first time at the rodeo, of course. He picks up the stack of paperwork, straightening it all into a neat little tower of paper, before typing away with a nasty scowl on his face.

He can’t accept this.

—

It’s his anniversary.

Chikage is on “vacation”. If your definition of “vacation” is sitting in a fancy car in suburban Tokyo, near Veludo Way. He already regrets his decision. Closure, my ass, he thinks to himself as he drives his car. 

He’d already picked up tickets to their show in a month. Itaru is the lead this time. He searched it up, but it seemed not to have anything that Spring Troupe would do. Minagi always changes it up. 

Maybe visiting his grave today wasn’t the best idea, Chikage asks himself with a slight melancholy in his inside head voice which he wants to shut up— so he tells it to shut up with its own voice (which of course, would never work, because he’s telling himself to 

shut up).

Chikage doesn’t know what to say. Do people speak out loud to their graves? No disrespect to them, but not for him.

In their head? He tries it, kneeling down a bit to the headstone, setting down a bag of marshmallows.

Hisoka. I don’t believe in God or reincarnation, or whatever religion. But I want to give the universe, no matter how little it cares, the benefit of the doubt. I hope you’re in nirvana, heaven, or reincarnated into some “cute” baby in whatever country, eating marshmallows. I never understood that. It’s not like I needed to. I guess. But wherever you are, I hope you’re up there. With August. 

He shakes his head, like a dog shaking off water, except instead of water, it’s a somber liquid covering him, coating him in some syrupy hotness that feels like the embodiment of orange with speckles of blue.

He gets up and turns around to head back to his car.

“...Utsuki. It’s been quite a while.” He pulls up the cuffs of his outfit.

 He’s not surprised to see him here. Arisugawa. He looks the same, the same haircut, the same outfit, same everything. He’s happy to see he’s been doing well.

“...I’m not surprised to see you here. You were his roommate, after all.”

“Yes, yes, indeed I was. Was is the word I want to put emphasis on.” It’s like he reminded himself of what happened. “Why? Why come back here after all this time?”

“I was just… reminded.” He straightens his back, as if it wasn’t straight in the first place, almost scoliosis levels of effort into “straightening” posture, as if to become more defensive.

“Are you going to interrogate me, at least? Inquire about the troupe? How well has it been faring?”

“... I don’t think I need to.” He’s reminded of the last time he went to watch a play. Around Christmas time— where he could take enough time off.

Minagi always does well. Sakuma is always just so passionate you can feel it through the character. Usui is always perfect, staring back at the Director in approval. Chigasaki… is…

He interrupts his own thoughts just to respond to Arisugawa, who’s been waiting for another word for 3 seconds at least. “I saw the play around Christmas. Well done. Very much so.”

“We are all aware Minagi-san always does an amazing job. Why, he is at the same level as me. But of course, I must come here and mourn every once in a while.” He walks past Chikage to look at Hisoka’s grave. “These marshmallows were his favorite brand, Chikage.”

“I know.”

A moment of silence ensues as Homare places a bouquet of anemone on the grave.

“Come back.”

“What?” Chikage is almost startled as he looks down at Homare, squatting at the grave.

“Come back.”

“You know I can’t.”

“You can, and you have always been able.” 

“I can’t. Arisu. What am I meant to say to everyone? ‘Oh, I left for 3 years, haha big surprise now I’m back!’ They’re them. I’m me. They don’t need me.” Chikage laughs nervously. Nervously? He calms his nerves— at least tries to, conflicted on what to do, because it’s been a while since he’s been like this.

“It’s what Hisoka would have wanted. We all need breaks.” The mention of Hisoka alarms Chikage, and makes his voice venom tipped.

“Don’t even try to bring up that fucking sleepyhead.”

“My, your language. This place is sacred.” He doesn’t even seem phased by his biting tone or his venomous words, just continuing to talk to him as normal— at least normal to him. “But you must admit… he would want you to keep acting. He was very, practically fully aware that you enjoyed what you did immensely.”

“I don’t care. It was good to talk to you again. See you around.” He storms off before Homare calls out for him again.

“Just… take this.” He hands him a card, Chikage acquiescing halfheartedly, already thinking about throwing away that flimsy card. “Call the number if you ever yearn for us too much.”

Chikage doesn’t say anything back— at least doesn’t feel the need to.

—

“Itaru?” The rest of the Spring Troupe knocks at his door, mostly Sakuya’s voice piercing through the little symphony of voices piping up just in an effort to wake up Itaru. (If he’s asleep of course— sleeping now to save energy for ranking all night.) “We have pizza?” Masumi looks at the noticeable lack of pizza in their hands, which, knowing Itaru, would make him close that damn door again.

Tsuzuru knocks on the door again, Izumi coming by, looking at them with a puzzled look on her face. “...Can I ask what you guys are doing or is it private?”

“Itaru hasn’t come out of his room in like… a week.” Tsuzuru takes out his phone to check the phone date to see if he’s actually not come out of his room for a week. “Yeah. A week.”

“And why is that surprising? He’s probably ranking.” Izumi almost has a visible question mark hovering over her head, that would be drawn over her if they were in an anime. “Although he should be working on his role… he is the lead after all.”

“Yeah, but I know that he has no thanking to do for this week!” Citron looks almost frustrated, going to the door to bang on it before Sakuya holds him back, calming him down. “I wanna play with him…”

“Ranking.” Tsuzuru mumbles through the word, correcting him.

“Ranking!”

Izumi parts them into two to make her way to the door, knocking harder. “Chigasaki! Get out of the room before I break in!” No response. “...Itaru?” Izumi grabs a keychain from her pocket, with the master key. “I’m coming in.” She unlocks the door quickly, opening the door, being blasted with a rank scent— the scent of body odor (which isn’t surprising now that he’s alone) but when it’s festered and accumulated for a month. Which is terrible considering he’s only been in there for a week.

“...Yes?” Itaru sits up in his loft bed. “...Oh.” He gets down from the loft bed, his hair almost matted to his face, with oil stains and chip crumbs all over his t-shirt. “...Hi.”

“Itaru.”

“Director…?”

“Take a bath. Come back here. We are going to talk, because you haven’t let it get this bad in a while.”

“...Whatever you say.”

When Itaru takes a shower, he doesn’t feel refreshed— rather just a clean feeling taking him with the same unidentifiable emotion. Probably a mixture of disappointment, discontentment, and self-loathing; which isn’t a particularly new mixture but it’s almost defeating this time, for no damn reason. Well, he does know the reason, but he refuses to acknowledge the idea, even entertaining it. Calling in sick to work because he just didn’t feel like going isn’t going to last forever, especially when He is practically his boss. He doesn’t want to get fired of course. He did just lose another job, so getting fired now isn’t the best idea.

Itaru picks up his phone on his way out of the bath, and turns on his phone to check his waifus this time, at first checking out his Best Girl. Humans are complicated, he says to himself, as he taps though some loading messages and downloading messages. He thinks back to work before getting interrupted by Izumi, who’s staring at him from inside his dorm, picking up trash and stuffing them into her makeshift trash bag, which is really just a plastic bag from the convenience store. “Itaru, come in. It’s your dorm after all.” He walks in unwillingly, hit by the smell he produced himself. He even wonders how he can take it.

Izumi wants to talk, he knows that much, as he feels the type of anxiety coming on when he gets the message, “we need to talk”. He hasn’t gotten it that often, but he does definitely freeze up. He definitely isn’t that stupid to not get a hint. Maybe. Izumi starts speaking after a moment of silence.

“So… Can we talk about this? You’ve never let it get this bad… even you have standards.” She glares at the side of the room that’s basically caked in chip bags, surrounded by an anime summoning circle made of chip crumbs. 

“Do I have to?”

“Listen… this can’t go on forever. Just… talk about it. My lips are sealed!” She “zips” her mouth shut and throws away the invisible key from her hands. Itaru knows she isn’t going to leave without an answer— which is just the type of person she is— determined for no good reason. He can’t understand why Izumi is still here, even “helping” him clean. Helping in quotation marks because Itaru’s splayed out on his couch, head hanging off an armrest.

He holds out his phone to tweet something on his streamer Twitter, like “sorry for not streaming i was sick” which is convincing, until he realizes Banri follows him. Fucking NEO. Whatever. He sends it anyway.

“Can you keep it down? I don’t know what emotion you’re gonna feel when I tell you whatever has gotten me so… down. But I know you’re gonna scream about it, which I don’t want to hear.” Itaru scrolls through his personal, looking at fanart of his main games staring at a couple to just appreciate the artistry. Talent.

“I told you. Lips are sealed!”

He adds a snarky tone to his voice. “Someone with their lips zipped together wouldn’t be able to talk.” Itaru smirks.

“Shut up, you know what I mean.”

“LOL. Do you seriously, most definitely, want to hear me out?”

“Yes. Obviously? I’m cleaning your room just to buy myself time so you don’t kick me out.”

“Good strat. Whatever.” He goes to the training section, sacrificing some of his cards in the name of evolving his best girl. “I got laid off, remember?”

“Yeah.”

“And I got a new job, remember?”

“Mmmhm.”

“So I got hired as an assistant to this high up exec, which is like… hell yeah. Level up from that old company.”

“Didn’t you just get hired? I don’t think being absent for a week is a good look for your Refreshing Handsome Man persona. Trademark.”

Itaru laughs.“I— Well… Yeah? But I just didn’t want to go because of a certain person.”

“Do we have to beat someone up?”

“No. But guess who it was.”

“... Was it someone from highschool?”

“It was Chikage-san.”

“...Chika—“ Izumi puts her own hand over her mouth to shut herself up because of the up and coming scream that is about to pierce the skies.

“You heard me right.”

“...Yeah, I definitely did.” Izumi almost has a solemn tone, a tacit agreement of how they should be feeling about this.

“I just… I don't think I’m ready to see him. Mentally preparing for what shitshow might go on. Seeing him drained all my LP in a split second. And this week is me recharging, and a little more. Like I need it to overflow this time, like when I claim daily login quests for them.”

“Makes sense. Well… nothing you can do about it, right?” Izumi sounds a bit defeated, tying up the trash she’s picked up in the convenience store plastic bag, taking out another one and cleaning up again. “Just… deal with it till you can find a new job. Or… you could bring him back here. I want to— need to talk to him.”

“Mmm. I don’t want to do it.” Itaru sounds even more defeated, like he was born with that stupid Archeops abiltity. 50% HP lost already, and he’s not ready to lose that other half. “But if it comes to that… Sure. I’ll try. Not very hard of course.”

“Yeah, yeah, Itaru. You keep doing that.” She picks up some more trash before Tsumugi looks through the door. 

“Director-san?”

“Tsumugi?”

“Someone is at the door.”

“I’ll get it.” Tsumugi leaves quickly to his dorm. “Itaru. Finish cleaning. Get the broom and sweep that damn pile of chips. We can’t deal with another infestation. Sakyo is gonna get so mad at you and me, and we don’t want another wifi outage caused by him. Also… please remember the play. I know that we aren’t super close to opening night, but this one has to be one of our more intricate ones, okay? Study your role well.”

“Yeah, of course. I’ve been doing that in here too.” Itaru follows Izumi out of the room, heading to the lounge to grab the dustpan and broom lying in the corner of the kitchen. Itaru takes it, wondering how much money it would cost for Itaru to get a damn maid around here. 

But he wouldn’t want anyone to see his room, of course, as he gets almost scared of someone walking in, and seeing his shelf of games, and his cute and sexy gamer setup. Not the right choice of words, but it’s cute and sexy to him. (He also doesn’t want anyone to wash his body pillow of his waifu, or see it, matter of fact. Plus, he’s worked to make it so comfortable he can sleep instantly with it.)

Itaru heads back to his dorm, the door still open, sweeping up the chips, and spraying some damn Febreeze in there. Hawaiian breeze, or some other tropical scent will do. He hears frantic footsteps from the lounge, Izumi holding onto the doorframe.

“Itaru!” She stands up straight. “Chikage… is here. At the dorms with us.”

“What?” 

Chikage pops up behind her, with a small suitcase in hand. Less of popping up, but more of fully revealing himself behind her.

“Please don’t tell me he’s moving back in.”

—

Chikage is less than aware of the reasons he’s here, before regrouping himself and making some stupid mental list in his mind. Thanks, self-help/business book that his boss gave him. He leads up the events in his mind.

Chikage gets a call from the landlord of his apartment building. 

The landlord tells him that the rooms are flooded because some guy on the upper floor took such a big shit that it flooded the entire apartment complex. How does one even do that?

He is distressed. He goes to book a hotel.

All the hotel rooms are booked again.

Chikage, understandably, gets angry. He drives back to pick up some non-wet stuff. He can sleep in a car for a night.

He starts it up, and it doesn’t start. His car is broken.

He kicks the tire in frustration, and the side metal plate just falls off. He sighs in the ultimate defeat.

He now has nowhere else to stay— hotels are all booked and reserved for the waves of plays about to be released. His hideout is not an option— he doesn’t have much of a bed in there, or actual facilities he needs. No wifi.

Chikage is reminded of the conversation he and Arisugawa had back at… there.

He comes back with a damn Uber.

He sits down at the couch, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose in more than frustration at what situation he’s gotten himself into, already regretting his decision.

Izumi runs back, opening the lounge door. “...Chikage-san!” She goes to the kitchen. “It’s… a pleasure to see you back here. It’s pretty late. Almost everyone has gone to sleep. Tea?”

“Sure. Lavender, thank you.” Chikage is fidgeting, which is super out of whatever character he plays, almost struggling to not have a tone when he says his next words. “I’d… hope no one else is awake.” He thinks back to Itaru, but forces the thought of him out. “How has it been?”

“Not the same without you and… yeah.” Izumi looks down at her own cup, the teabag soaking. “Why are you here anyways? You just… disappeared.”

Chikage swallows his pride for just a little bit longer. “My apartment is flooded. My stuff is fine but I can’t stay there for now. Every hotel is booked here. My car is broken because I’ve been forsaken. I can’t stay anywhere else. I need to stay here.”

“...Well… you’re always welcome here anyways. You’ll always be a part of us, even when you don’t think you are.” Izumi takes a sip of her now finished tea. “Well… I know this might be uncomfy but for now, our only open room is 103.” He gets flashbacks to the number, when he got assigned it the first time he came here. “I don’t want to put you in 205. Homare has been doing a lot of stuff in there ever since.” Izumi pauses. “...And I know how you might feel about it.”

“I see. Well… I’ll take what I can get, no?” He sighs. “Beggars can’t be choosers.” He takes a long sip of his lavender tea. Nothing has really changed, he observes, as he looks around slowly taking everything back in. The smell is even familiar, which might just be the smell of lavender tea, but he doesn’t really think so. But an air about it doesn’t have as much life as it used to— which he might attribute to the fact that it’s now 12:30 am, but he knows deep in his subconscious the real reason.

Izumi smiles wide. “Great. I’ll lead you there. Itaru is cleaning right now.”

—

Yes, it is awkward, Itaru confirms to himself— something he doesn’t even need to do when Chikage is literally just typing away at his computer, as Itaru fiddles with his phone up in the air, playing some new KniRoun thing. Great. Lancelot is idly whacking at some large dragon on his phone screen, while Chikage’s loud typing begins to fill up more and more of his headspace until Itaru finally gets over the air that’s as thick as butter. “Can you type… quieter? Please?”

Fuck. That is not how he meant to say it. “...sure.” Itaru is surprised, doing a little “Oh.” to himself. He expected more resistance, especially with his tone.

Chikage can almost feel Itaru’s eyes burn into the back of his skull, which would almost be fitting for him and those damn carnelian eyes. “If you want me to leave, I can leave. I understand you have to do that ranking thing, or whatever.”

“Don’t act like you care, Utsuki.” Itaru just keeps fumbling with his tone, always going a little too biting. Which he should probably stop, when he’s basically talking to his boss. Technically. Not really his boss, because he’s been appointed to Chikage. They’re supposed to be working together. But it’s not like Chikage has power in a setting that is now his. He’s in Itaru’s domain. “You never cared about my ranking in the first place.”

“Can we fucking not today? Be happy I’m even dealing with you.”

Itaru shuts up immediately. He isn’t going to do this today. Or ever. He turns on his side to try to ignore whatever that cabbage head is doing on his laptop. But he doesn’t. He looks at the laptop, already looking for hotels to stay at, and sending out emails, with some decryptor on the side. Itaru isn’t one for confrontation. He knows he’s less than welcome with Chikage’s presence— which he can’t understand.

But Itaru is already tired— be it from the event that just happened, or the fact that it’s 1 am. Which is baby hours for him. He goes to do some final things, use his stamina, the sorts, and lets his body drift away.

—

Itaru wakes up midday, as usual for a weekend, and for some reason, Chikage is still there, typing away. He climbs down from his loft bed, stretching a bit and going to turn his computer on. 

It seems like a normal weekend to Itaru, except for the fact that he’s here now. For whatever reason.

“Have you been awake this entire time?”

“...What’s it matter to you?” Chikage doesn’t even look back or stutter in his typing.

“Nothing, I was just wondering. Jeez.” Itaru doesn’t even want to try to fight back with the man who could snap his neck in 0.5 seconds. He walks out into the atrium, heading to the kitchen to grab some food from Omi, who had probably covered some leftovers from breakfast in plastic wrap, and probably already getting lunch ready.

“Itaru. Good morning to you!” Omi speaks to Itaru from the counter, giving him a smile.

“Thanks.” He grabs the leftover breakfast for a nice brunch.  Izumi comes through the door with some bags of groceries for the next week.

“Itaru! Let’s talk later, okay? Practice is soon. We don’t want you to be absent this time. As the lead, you have the most importance for the play, and we need you to—“

“I know. I’ve been studying this role, okay? I just can’t seem to wrap my head around it.” 

“And that’s why we should talk.” Izumi looks serious again, the look she gave him last night when cleaning his dumpster room. “It’s nothing serious. Just sit down here.”

“I have things to attend to, Director.” Itaru looks smug, and walks towards the door, plate in hand. 

“I swear it’ll be quick!”

“Can’t we just do it in my room? Omi is here, and if it’s so serious, we should talk about it in a private place.”

“You’re gonna be distracted if we do it in your room. Just follow me to mine.”

“Ugh…” He walks over to Izumi, and follows her to her room, pulling out a chair for Itaru and she sits on her bed. “So…?”

“So… guess what…” Izumi’s voice is light, like she’s trying to break something to him slowly but surely.

“Don’t tell me. Is he going to be staying for a while?”

“...Damn.”

“You have to be kidding me, Izumi. Like I can’t believe you would do this to me. Rooming me with my boss.” He puts his back over the chair he’s sitting in, like a standard damsel in distress, woe is him. “Woe is me! All I know is pain and suffering.” 

“You might be an actor but that was not an opening night performance.” Izumi laughs. “It might be for a while so bear with me. It’ll be until at least closing night.”

“... At least closing night?” Itaru is confused. “Why does he even need to stay in here?”

“Well… His apartment is flooded. Some guy took a fat shit in the toilet on the upper floors and now his apartment is flooded with toilet water. Hotels are booked for a while, Godza n’ all the other performances. People do book hotel rooms months in advance here.”

“Well, that’s tough. Why not put him with Homa—“ He stops and realizes what he’s going to say. “Oh.”

“Right.”

“Well, can’t he drive? Like… to a place with hotels?”

“Well, his car is broken. Listen, even if he did get it fixed, it’s the least we can do for him. He tried his best, Itaru. Everyone… grieves differently and it’s not in our place to judge him, no? Even if it was self-destructive…”

“Yeah, by hurting us? That’s his grief? Why’d you even let him stay? He doesn’t act, he wouldn’t do shit around here. Do you think he’ll come back? After three and a half years, no goodbye, just a complete disappearance? I don’t see how you can forgive some old cabbage head like that. He’s not even part of MANK—“

“Itaru, can you shut the fuck up? Like, actually.” Itaru immediately shuts up in almost prey-like fear. ”You of all people should know what it felt like when he left, and after everything that went down.” Izumi is absolutely fuming, like steam is coming out of her ears, getting up and turning away and looking at the bookshelf. “Do you know what it feels like? I worked so hard for this— to build this up from when it was failing to a place where we can stay and lean on each other and you… you of all people should know what the hell that feels like.”

“Izumi, I—“ He gets up, reaching out for a bit.

“I’m not finished.” Izumi is tearing up and getting more red by the second, like she’s going to burst. “How do you think I feel about all this? Chikage is back. It’s overwhelming, Itaru. It reminded me of Hisoka, and what would MANKAI be if he was still here but he isn’t. He’s not back. He won’t ever, and when we find an old member like Chikage, I will always accept him back in, even if he’s not committed to the acting gig. It’s almost like we’re completing ourselves again.”

“I understand that, but—“ Itaru can barely get a word in.

“He’s staying there. I don’t want any backtalk from you, Itaru. Have a good evening.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Just go.” She sits back down, her back turned to Itaru as he walks out.

Itaru feels bad. I mean, who wouldn’t, but he didn’t expect Izumi to take it that hard. Itaru has every right to say that he doesn’t want him in his room, feeling no remorse for making Izumi almost cry from pure anger, walking slowly back to the room. Omi stares at him as he goes through the kitchen. 

“...Food?”

“Nah. Not hungry, I want some chips.”

“Don’t overindulge. It’s almost dinner anyways.”

“Yeah, yeah, thanks Omi.”

He walks out of the kitchen and back to his room, still thinking about Izumi. Izumi is angry. Izumi is more than angry at him and it was because of him— which has never happened before and he is distraught. 

He walks back into the room and no one is there. Bless. Today his room feels a bit more lonely, even though there’s more stuff in it, looking to his left to see the duffel bag of clothes with his desk underneath the loft bed already set up with tons of electronics. What is he even doing? He takes a look at Chikage’s stuff before he comes back.

Another laptop? A walkie-talkie… and the thing that catches his eye the most is a picture of MANKAI, and behind that, a picture of Hisoka and Chikage. Itaru remembers taking this photo, looking closer at it. Okay, now he really feels bad, he thinks as he looks at the photo more and more.

If he missed us that much then why didn’t he come back?

The door opens and he shuffles as fast as he can to the couch, posing in one of the most awkward positions.

“...H-hey, Utsuki-senpai.”

“Hm.”

He quickly walks past, suspiciously looking at Itaru as if he was a cat that pushed something off a desk while their owner was gone. Itaru quickly skitters to his desk, starting up his computer. The room feels a bit more lively with both of them in it, even if they’re both just trying to ignore each other, something within the room metamorphosing, like something is changing. He shakes the thought out of his head quickly before he slumps into his chair to get into the Gamer Position (trademarked by Itaru himself) and getting his software up.

Itaru needs to stream today. Not really— he didn’t announce anything, but he has to feed his fans some sort of content. He gets ready to film something, anything. He picks a random game and starts filming a bit, Chikage in the room completely tuning Itaru out and vice versa. 

Chikage slowly drifts off to sleep for once, but this time, it’s a deep sleep. chapter 1 / chapter 2 / chapter 3 / chapter 4 / chapter 5 / chapter 6

[punkscowardschampions]

Charlie & Ronnie

Charlie: You said you were coming to this thing

Charlie: can I send your apologies instead now?

Charlie: 👍

Ronnie: you wish

Ronnie: ill be there like i said

Charlie: Time management was never one for the CV

Charlie: but you’re already more than fashionably late, dear

Ronnie: &

Ronnie: invite came from mckenna and he dont care

Charlie: It’s not his dinner party

Ronnie: no shit

Ronnie: its not yours either calm down like

Charlie: I’m just saying, you’ve wrangled an invite as is

Charlie: you’re gonna make it more awkward because?

Ronnie: if shes not got you working the door now as another favour why the fuck are you so bothered is what im just saying mary

Charlie: They’re nice kids, whatever beef you’ve got with your brother and the rest, I don’t see why you’ve got to involve them, is what I’m saying

Charlie: they’ve not got fuck all to do with your family drama

Ronnie: err he ll be made up dont you want me to be a boss big sister

Charlie: the kid clearly has his own issues

Charlie: I could spot codependent and toxic before you could walk, don’t lie to me, like

Ronnie: cant walk now so stall the starters or dont

Charlie: For fuck’s sake Veronica

Ronnie: you wanted the truth bitch

Charlie: You can’t show up here high

Charlie: they’ll be terrified, might call the cops

Ronnie: showing up sober is what i cant do

Charlie: don’t you think you should take a break from him

Charlie: whatever you decide to do after, you need to calm it down

Ronnie: it was you who said not to act like he werent about

Charlie: yeah, you can’t pretend it hasn’t happened obviously

Charlie: but that was before you shot him up

Ronnie: and after you told me to look after him

Ronnie: make up your fucking mind baby

Charlie: What would be preferable is you not fucking doing it

Charlie: really should go without saying

Ronnie: it fucking wouldnt

Ronnie: you cant hack living with me on gear how do you reckon itd be with me off it

Charlie: I meant dosing a kid, ‘cos there’s no way it happened the once

Charlie: and there are options for you, for free on the glorious NHS for now

Ronnie: you meant both 🖕 he werent a kid when you wanted to fuck him

Charlie: Not the same is it

Charlie: someone can be old enough for sex and not old enough for you to ruin their life

Ronnie: love ya for the flattery but his life was fucked before he found me

Charlie: was he using

Ronnie: youre the only cunt i know who reckons hes above it even B uses 💊

Charlie: yeah because there aren’t levels to it

Charlie: come off it

Charlie: the 💊s he takes aren’t on the level of smack, at all

Ronnie: mckenna aint never gonna let you daddy him you can stop pretending to give a shit

Charlie: I give a shit because you’re a mess

Charlie: more than usual

Ronnie: i dont usually have to babysit any bastard half brothers like

Charlie: you’re choosing to come tonight though

Ronnie: i owe him after that call centre bullshit

Charlie: and that’s it?

Ronnie: what the fuck else would it be

Charlie: You tell me

Ronnie: i just did

Charlie: Alright then

Ronnie: [show up so he can judge the absolute state of you IRL and have to make allowances for that and how rude you are]

Charlie: [we all know how this goes, feel his shame and judgment in how much work we have to do to cover up your behaviour]

Ronnie: [how offended and upset she would be that he's ashamed of her is killing me because how could he not be babe]

Charlie: [oh honey, like what else could we be lol]

Ronnie: [the real question is have you picked up on the jealous and intense incesty vibes yet boy or what do you think is happening lol]

Charlie: [If anyone would pick up on it, we know you and your possessive energy]

Ronnie: [yeah that was my thought cos he knows her the best and they have their own weird history and vibe so]

Charlie: [he’s obvs not going to talk to you right now because mad and also like !!! but feel free to do some if you wanna]

Ronnie: [gonna have her try and talk to him when Jamie is talking to Joe for obvious reasons lol but before we’re bleeding]

Ronnie: you can lord it you were right but lets bail yeah

Ronnie: charlie come ed soft lad

Ronnie: what you ignoring me for 🖕💔

Ronnie: fucks sake

Ronnie: [after the briefest pause because he won’t immediately reply to her just gotta go into graphic detail about that OD she had in Margate before Joe got there cos he can clearly see all the self harm that’s going on but she wouldn’t have told him about this until literally now]

Charlie: [just a look like DON’T that cannot be overstated]

Charlie: why would you do that

Ronnie: can we fucking go now

Charlie: you can

Charlie: don’t use your self-destruction to hold me hostage, you’re beyond too old for that now, Jesus fucking Christ

Ronnie: [this makes logical sense to be where Sophie pops up with the kitchen roll etc and then bathroomgate so all of that is kicking off]

Charlie: [just out here doing the most to cover for you]

Charlie: what the fuck are you doing

Ronnie: [because they are doing the most in that tiny bathroom LOL you can have a reply once she’s left]

Ronnie: leaving

Ronnie: youre welcome

Charlie: yeah, you did me such a solid there, tah

Ronnie: you too florence dead caring

Charlie: you can’t hack a kid’s dinner party?

Ronnie: fuck you

Ronnie: you know whats wrecking my head

Charlie: yet you can’t leave him alone

Charlie: how the fuck can I do anything if you won’t do that

Ronnie: you werent gonna do fuck all end of

Ronnie: youve not

Charlie: you aren’t a kid, I can’t force you to sort your life out

Ronnie: yeah cos being like you will save me

Charlie: I’m not OD’ing with strangers

Ronnie: 💔 everyone liked you better when you were using

Charlie: you did

Charlie: and that isn’t a good enough reason to be a junkie forever

Ronnie: no shit i did

Charlie: well I’m so sorry your majesty

Charlie: God forbid I sort my life for me

Ronnie: nobody but you gives a fuck you stopped snorting lines out of every twinks arse crack

Ronnie: god forbid you shut the fuck up about it and this recovery bullshit

Charlie: you clearly give a fuck, Ronnie

Ronnie: you give more of a fuck about mckennas flatmates than you do about me

Charlie: that’s bullshit

Charlie: you only came to ruin their night, you got mad when it weren’t going your way

Charlie: you expected me to help?

Ronnie: i dont give a shit about these teenagers

Ronnie: im losing it and you reckon theyre on my mind

Charlie: Is ruining his life going to fix yours

Charlie: no

Ronnie: youve never had to hack this dont fucking tell me how to

Charlie: because you’re the only one who has family issues

Charlie: fuck you, you know I’d give anything to be in your spot

Ronnie: if i could swap our places i would

Ronnie: i dont wanna fucking be here doing this with him & you aint even tried to get your head round that

Charlie: in what world does it need to be like this

Ronnie: the world im living in where the fuck is your head at

Charlie: why can’t you just fucking

Charlie: cut him off or actually try

Ronnie: this is me trying

Ronnie: i didnt hang myself off the back of their bathroom door

Charlie: then you need to stop

Charlie: I’ll tell him to leave you alone now

Ronnie: hes gonna do that now without you flouncing in

Charlie: I’m still doing it, you ain’t here to stop me

Ronnie: hot but you still aint his type

Charlie: not funny

Ronnie: not joking

Charlie: don’t be tapped, I wouldn’t go anywhere near him now

Ronnie: stick your dick where you like i dont give a fuck

Charlie: yeah well I’m slightly more discerning, tah very much

Ronnie: these days

Charlie: yeah, where we live now

Charlie: I’m not trying to relive my worst years every weekend

Ronnie: yeah such a grown up youre having dinner with kids

Ronnie: save this little speech to pull the wool over the eyes of whatever wool homo youre gonna try and pull at the weekend

Charlie: I never said I was there yet

Charlie: better than the state of you

Ronnie: 🖕💔

Ronnie: state of me yeah after whats just happened youve seen fuck all yet soft cunt

Charlie: that’s the sound of me being unimpressed

Charlie: grow up

Ronnie: shut up properly by getting out of my fucking face

Charlie: I’m going out

Ronnie: with your new bezzies

Charlie: what’s it to you

Ronnie: youre not a junkie and youre still the most selfish cunt i know have a word with yourself

Charlie: because I’m not jumping to do exactly what you want, no matter how dumb or shit an idea it is

Charlie: yeah, I’m the problem, alright babe

Ronnie: you reckon you wanna be in my place so bad but you cant even hack it from there

Ronnie: since when have i gotta beg for help off you

Charlie: I wouldn’t act like a dick if anyone from my family reached out

Charlie: and what help? You haven’t asked for help, you wanted me to help you shit on some random kids to make you feel better for 10 seconds

Charlie: if you actually told me anything seriously, if you wanted help and not just someone to get high with

Ronnie: i wanted to fucking leave & cos i didnt its pure fucked now

Ronnie: i am my head is worse than before and you dont give a single shit

Charlie: what did you do

Ronnie: like fuck are you getting the gossip

Charlie: gossip are you serious

Charlie: ‘cos this either is and I’m the shittest mate in the world or it isn’t and it’s ‘gossip’

Ronnie: shittest mate is right weve established it

Charlie: what did you do

Ronnie: fuck you its your fault

Charlie: then tell me what I did bitch

Ronnie: i told you we shouldve gone

Charlie: okay, we should’ve gone

Charlie: go on

Ronnie: you were there

Charlie: yeah, and I was covering for you

Ronnie: yeah well done

Charlie: you say that like I’m meant to know what the fuck you were doing, is my point

Charlie: i was a little busy sorting your mess

Ronnie: you had a cob on over that mess and the one im in after it is loads fucking worse so theres fuck all you can sort for me now

Charlie: calm down and stop being dramatic

Charlie: just tell me and we’ll sort it

Ronnie: fuck off

Ronnie: thank christ i dont need you to calm down

Ronnie: [gonna go get messy obvs so she probably won't reply but if you wanna try go ahead hun]

Charlie: yeah, smack has served you SO well thus far

Charlie: what a great idea

Charlie: come on

Charlie: oh, the silent treatment in return, really

Charlie: very mature

Charlie: I’ll see you when I get home

[ryncorrect]

university!au: day6 sungjin

i’ve abandoned this au for so long istg my life is a mess yall please forgive but anyway im back with my bullshit and ready to spread my cringe-worthy stuff to the world again

name: park sungjin

major: practical music and arts

other activities: leader, guitarist, and vocalist of university band, president of music club, member of cooking club

park sungjin is the embodiment of leadership

i mean he’s the band leader, the club president, also the president of his class since year one, like he’s so trustworthy and responsible, literally nothing can go wrong under his sight

and even when things do go wrong (life is a bitch) he’ll still make sure everyone is fine and having the time of their lives pun intended

anyone who meets sungjin for the first time will probs say he has this tough man aura, cold,,, tsundere-ish idk

but as someone who have known each other for so long, you never understand when anyone says sungjin looks cold

you know damn well the moment sungjin opens his mouth he gonna throw dad jokes with his satoori dialect

dad jokes are fucking funny fight me

you once said sungjin should start his own comedy club

......he’s currently considering it

oh right he also talks about food all. the. time.

he joined cooking club for a reason okay

no, he can’t and doesn’t really cook he’s only there to taste food and people let him there because he’s nice and he knows how to appreciate the cooks

uh we love a man with manners

so, who is sungjin for you exactly?

he lives next door, one year older than you, was a leader even when you were little ayeee childhood friend cliche

can you imagine little sungjin leading his friends in game its so pure brb crying

you told him everything you couldn’t tell ur parents because they were busy, you asked for his advises, he made sure you were safe and happy

you still depend on him even after you two have grown up

you enrolled to the same university, took the same major with him, and even joined the clubs he’s a member of

this isn’t because you’re indecisive, it’s just that you spent so much of your childhood with sungjin that you two became similar to each other, up to your hobbies and interests and even palate lmao

that’s why he loves to eat with you because you two never argue about the menu

the only club you can’t join is the band, and that’s because jae rejected your application

reason: extremely close personal relationship with sungjin, therefore sungjin will take your side if we ever had an argument

you denied that; no, sungjin wont take anyone’s side based on feelings bc he’s a logical person and he always listens carefully to every side of the parties before he makes a decision..... but jae wont listen

brat

"you only rejected me because im a better guitarist”

“lalalalala cant hear you over my authority as the important band member”

“fuck you”

“i don’t accept offers”

anywayssss you did fail to join the band, but you’re friends with them, theyre literally so used to your company that sometimes they forgot youre not actually in the band

you and the guys teamed up for sungjin’s surprise birthday party

the surprise failed because dowoon accidentally added sungjin to the group chat

sungjin being nice and playing along anyway because he didnt want to disappoint you

and then its sungjin’s turn to ask the guys for help for your birthday party

failed again because dowoon AGAIN accidentally invited you, in person, to your own birthday party

dowoon what the heck?????

yeah its all cute and sweet but thats all of your relationship with sungjin, you treat him like a dependable brother and he treats you like his own little sister

thats what you tell to your friends too when they ask if you two are dating

they’re glad thats the case

because they have a crush on sungjin LMAOOOOO PLOT TWIST

they’re hoping they can get to sungjin through you yanno like asking you to send him snacks and letters or to tell him they say hi

you dont mind i mean you know sungjin is one admirable person ofc everyone likes him

sungjin never rejects nor accepts it hes just like “yay snacks!”

“god damn it sungjin just date any of them im tired of being a matchmaker”

“then dont?? literally no one asked you to”

little did you know that sungjin had the same problem

some of his classmates are interested in you but whenever they come to him he just says, “dont ask me i dont know anything and if i do i wont tell you”

this one sandeul guy has started asking you out and stuff

“ehhh youre so nice i’ll think about it!!”

you, immediately texting sungjin: ur friend sandeul ask me out what should i do

sungjin: do you like him tho

you: not really idk him yet

sungjin: just tell him your mom said no

you: damn nice

but this guy is so persistent and you gotta admit hes kinda cute and after a few tries you finally said yes to him

so you two went together and it was pretty fun

sungjin isnt too happy when he hears about it from sandeul

he asked you, “why didnt you tell me first?”

“well i dont think its a big deal. it was just a date anyway”

but you always told him everything

sungjin never speaks about it again

you go on another date with sandeul the week after

you tell sungjin later and he doesnt ask how it went

hes just “oh”

idk he’s kinda distant now, he rarely talks nor replies to your texts

he doesn't visit music club nor cooking club either so you don't see him often

have i told you im uncreative and all my aus are lame???

you think its probably because hes focusing for the finals, but even after it’s over sungjin doesnt really hang out with you or the band anymore like he only comes for practices and leaves right after

weirdly no one says anything about sungjin’s absence

but you cant stay quiet any longer and decide to ask dowoon whats wrong with sungjin

you shouldve known dowoon cant help much

“honestly i dont know either, maybe you should ask wonpil he’s sungjin’s roommate”

“but what if wonpil told sungjin”

“told sungjin what?”

“that i asked about him”

“asked him what?”

“...nevermind”

you asked younghyun

younghyun doesnt help either

“i dont know, just ask him yourself. i thought you were the closest to him??” why you so salty man

okay fine lets ask jae

“i’ll tell you for fifty bucks”

“dude im broke”

“then deal with it yourself”

you had no choice but to ask wonpil

“he’s just tired”

you know wonpil lied but this little shit refuses to tell anything

“please dont force me to answer i will cry really loudly and it’ll be embarrassing for the both of us”

why do you befriend them in the first place smh

oh youre right about wonpil telling sungjin that youre worried, and he does tell him to talk to you if he got something in mind

sungjins hesitant but in the end he only says, “no... its just that i didnt realize until recently that my little sister has grown up a lot”

“dear god wtf you sound like her grandma”

skip the boring part so uh a few more days passed awkwardly between you two and after your failed attempt at asking around you decide to confront sungjin in person

youre in the band practice room, the others are present, sungjin’s about to leave early as usual, and you find yourself jumping up your seat, “whats your problem with me?”

you know sungjin hates confrontation but you cant stand it anymore. you tried giving him time but if theres anything you seem to be more of a stranger to him

“i dont know what i did wrong and i wont know if you dont tell me, so let me know. i’ll listen and i’ll apologize if its my fault, but dont give me silent treatment like this. its so unlikely of you"

you can see sungjin clences his jaw as he replies calmly, "people change"

"you don't change, youre being childish. if you're mad you should talk about it. if you don't want me here you should tell me to go. if you don't like ME dating your friend you should tell me not to!!!"

drama much ryn

"youre your own person and you make your own choice, its your life and i cant keep telling you what to do or what not," and the end part kinda slips, "i don't hate you dating my friend or anyone, okay? im just not used yet to be a second person for you and im afraid youll get hurt"

"youre never?? a second person sungjin where does this idea even come from youre the only one for me i dont want anyone else???"

and suddenly there's a train of awkward coughs and you come back to your senses and you realize you're being watched

jae pretends to make a phone call, "mom pick me up im scared"

lame jae lame

dowoon mumbles, "can we,,, make an exit first before you two declare your undying love bc its privacy yanno"

you feel the heat spreading across your face as you open your mouth the same time as sungjin, both want to deny dowoon, but younghyun beats yall to it, "yeah you two are in love with each other we been know"

you and sungjin stares at each other, confused, "we don't???"

"oh honey,,, my dear,,, ive read enough sappy shit in writing club to see where this is going"

the conversation was cut there and neither of you bring it up again,

because the idea of you loving sungjin or sungjin loving you is so weird that you refuse to think about it, and so is for sungjin

but ever since that, sungjin has drastically come back to normal its almost hilarious, he spends a lot of time hanging out in the music club, practicing with the band, visiting the cooking club, making a joke here and there

sungjin is himself again with you, a caring dependable brother whom you come to whenever you need to talk or just hang out with and he always makes sure he has time for you

sap

you know hes always been like that but why does it feel different now??? the way he smiles or pulls your hand so youre walking on the inner side of the road,,, how he neatly places your spoon and chopsticks on a napkin when you two go out to eat together,,,, why

tender love baby chICKEN TENDER

mydayexol follow me

andddd so one day, someone asked you out. again.

wow ur so popular i cant Relate

you, texting sungjin: sandeuls friend jinyoung something invited me to a party next saturday should i come

sungjin, replying to you: hmm

you: ???

sungjin: i think its up to you

for some reason youre disappointed by his reply,,, but he’s right tho its your call if you wanna go then you go its not about what sungjin says

right?

right???

but suddenly you got another text: but if you ask for my opinion i would say don't go

you: actually i dont want to either lol so what should i say

sungjin: tell him you already have a date

you: nice

sungjin: with me

you: ayyeee

you: wait what

sungjin: i mean its just a suggestion

sungjin: which you can accept

sungin: or reject

for some reason you can imagine sungjin’s cheeky smile through his texts and it makes your inside tingles and you wanna giggle

so yea you thought it was a joke but he actually did take you out for a movie and dinner

it was really nice

so yanno the weird thing is that neither of you ask the other to be “official” but you just. are dating.

ur friends are mad like “bUT YOU SAID YOU TWO WERENT A THING”

“lol sry i changed my mind”

“fuck you”

“no thanks sungjin can do that... bUT DONT TELL SUNGJIN I SAID THAT hes gonna kill me”

“is he ur mom”

“basically yeah”

this sucks real bad but who cares

not me obviously

ill be back soon (or not) with dowoon’s one lets hope i can do better than this dnsjfsndfj lnjajnfdjs lmAO I LOVE YALL AND HAPPY NEW YEAR IN ADVANCE

[drewbabie]

tøp discourse/rant 

tw: long post

u kno seeing all the new cryptic shit from tøp recently is literally putting me in a morality battle because like,,,,i cannot ignore what tyler did as a reaction from people begging him to use his platform to talk about blm

like yeah we’re probably getting new music but like i cant ignore the dumbass shit he pulled, it was immature and he shouldve tried to take it more seriously rather than take a piss outta everything

i cannot imagine what it mustve been like for black fans to have basically heard someone they look up to completely disregard their experiences and trauma in such a way that invalidates the blm movement, and being white i have to recognise his faults as a person and as a creator

the thing is, tøp has been such a huge part of my life, it introduced me to new music and taught me life lessons and i could really feel a sense of community in the fanbase when i went to their concerts and bought their merch

i wouldnt be having a fuckin crisis over this if tøp was just a band i liked listening to from time to time, but it makes me feel guilty for still listening to their songs occasionally because i cant separate tyler at all from the music as is

at this point its just, do i decide to take the new possible album a shot or do i just watch from the sidelines and feel like im missing out on something

but still, as a white person i need to understand the impact of tyler’s actions and move on from tøp completely, its just gonna be difficult for me personally, like i wish i could just remove them from ever being in my life, sounds horrible to say but god

i think im just sick of people i look up to turn out to be assholes, im sick of celebrities kissing cops’ asses and not holding the global racist system that was supposed to serve and protect

tyler’s apology came from a place of privilege and ignorance, his attempt at trying to make a situation better than it is was a fucking trainwreck.

did he not consider his black fans? did he not consider the lives of his black nieces?

its also the fucking guilt tripping in his apology that takes the cake. like honestly?? fucking honestly?? youre gonna get mad at your fanbase for what, asking you to speak up about social issues??

it makes me happy to know that u support the queer community, but could you redirect that support to people of colour?? ESPECIALLY black people?? feels fucking half-assed to have major acceptance of one group but completely disregard the other, this coming from a white non-binary 17 yr old

idk im just stuck between a rock and a hard place at this point, i think i just gotta get this outta my system and get over it because its no point to dwell over it now

im so so so incredibly sorry to the black fanbase who had to see someone they look up to completely disregard their experiences as a black person living in a society ruled by racist pricks, 

i cannot imagine the disappointment, anger and frustration that you mustve felt waking up to those tweets by someone you had held close to your hearts

black lives matter. forever and always.

[vyvesvi]

vyvesvi’s long awaited yesstyle review lmao :-)

ugh the keep reading isn’t working on mobile rip y’all sry

>a few Important things:

i just moved into my dorm yesterday so everything abt the pics and reviews to follow is a hot mess + i misplaced some stuff + didn’t bring it to my dorm bc it didnt work out (so i don’t have pics)

I’m not being sponsored in any way by yesstyle, i just don’t think there are enough black reviewers of yesstyle goods (but what does race have to do with anything, you may ask??? well, ppl come in all shaoes and sizes and the overlap between east asian sizes and body types and black body types is um. well. slim. that being said, i’ll give you some deets on me: i legit have no idea how much i weigh but im generally thin-ish with thicker thighs and a tummy pouch; height: ~169 cm, generally a US size S - M/4 - 6))

bc im not being sponsored, im not providing any (affiliate) links, just product names, sorry if that’s annoying

every yesstyle member (you become a member when you buy stuff) gets a reawrds code that takes a % off of my next order and the order that the code is used for, but I think it’s only like. 2% or smthng. message me and i’ll try to unearth my code if ur interested)

I ordered this stuff in two separate, similarly sized orders and the delivery time went like this (#1: ordered on-  2019-07-05 01:33 AM; split into two packages for some reason, received on like...july 22ndish? for some reason the tracking info isnt showing the delivery info. the 2nd part of this order, which was shipped a day later, arrived on the 19th. #2: ordered on-  2019-07-30 10:04 AM, received on  08/20, wasn’t expecting much bc it was shipped from hong kong during the protests but it was basically the same as the first order)

>the actual review part

i rly didnt wanna make a long post so just click for better quality sry lmao

edit: rip the quality if y’all want better photos @ me lmao

Dreamkura - Short-Sleeve Embroidered T-Shirt, Black - L

4/5- weird shape (really long sleeves for a short sleeved shirt, and really boxy too), and if you compare the placement and size of the patch vs. the one in the picture it’s not 100% accurate. still a cute shirt though so it’s fine

I sized up for an oversized look but I probably didn’t 100% need to

the black one is currently unavailable :/

camikiss - Seamless Under Shorts, Black - One Size

5/5- i wear these shorts too much. im wearing them right now. the ultimate safety shorts

the one size was a Risk but these shorts stretch well. maybe dont get them if you’re an XL and above in US sizes though

Lemongrass - Distressed Denim Shorts, Dark Blue - M

4.5/5- better quality than primark which. wow, did not see that coming

you have to cut the button hole (they seal it to show they they’ve never been worn apparently)

the button kinda like...jingles if you shake them vigorously, but it doesn’t happen when the pants are on, so it’s fine. still funny tho

im bad at wearing ripped shorts but if ur not i highly recommend

INKLEE - Round Buckle Faux Leather Belt - 105CM

5/5- kinda cheap but it does what I want which is hold my pants up lol

i could’ve sized down but that has way more to do with me not knowing my waist size lmao

Gwendolyn - Off-Shoulder Ruffle-Trim Blouse, White - One Size

4/5- i bought this bc it made me think “flyy like a butterfly” and all that jazz

it’s not my normal style but i really like it! it’s VERY sheer though

but I also got white so what did i really expect?

one-size was a risk once again but this shirt is pretty roomy, although it’s also kinda short...like not crop top short, but slightly difficult to tuck in short.

i would buy it again in black so i guess that says something

also i have like. freaky long arms (i can wave my hand over my shoulder with my arm behind my back and my elbow parallel to my torso...that’s such a weird description but uh. just know that my arms are long okay) and it didn’t look too indecent at the top to have the sleeves pulled down to my wrists! it’s a win!)

Moon City - Drop Shoulder Cardigan, Black - One Size

4.7/5- smelled weird when i opened it but I washed it and it’s fine!

one size risk but this one was also roomy af

the sleeves fit!!! god bless!!!

Edise - Couple Matching Elbow-Sleeve Embroidered T-Shirt, Black - L & White L

5/5- The white one was perfect and I love it! I sized like 2 sizes up for it to be a oversized but I would say it’s only abt 1 size oversized, if that makes sense? but I actually like it the way it is so cool lmao

3.7/5- the black one was really badly sewn on, but i reported it and got a new one for free so go me go yesstyle! they didnt give me tracking info *i think* and i wasn’t really waiting for it so it feels like it came fast lol

the moon is kinda a more awkward shape in person i think, but the stormy clouds were high quality and perfect!

i really like the material of the shirt!s it’s thick and soft and smooth? i’ve legit never felt a tshirt like that but im into it

DIYI - Plain High-Waist A-Line Skirt, Black - M

4.7/5- im wearing the outfit pictured right now and *TMI* the sewn in shorts are giving me a very very uncomfortably large wedgie tbh

it fits perfectly otherwise though

i feel like it’s one of the cheapest feeling things that i received, but it’s about forever21 quality but for only $11.45 so i’m 100% fine with it tbh

TREEZIN - Plaid Mini Skirt, Dark Blue - M

4.7/5- it’s very cute and fits perfectly! kinda shirt though and there was like 1 loose thread

the brown in the skirt isn’t super noticeable which i don’t really mind...overall i’d say that they lightened the photos considerably, which effects the color of the skirt

no safety shorts but idrc

pretty thick material

the final stretch thank god

Manicotto - Mock Two-Piece Sleeveless Mini Dress, Check - M 

3/5 pretty cheap material. the skirt is true to size, but the top is like two sizes too small (i don’t have that much boob but it was still too much for this poor, poor, top). they come as separate pieces, so i brought the skirt to school with me and left the top at home. im not sure what i would tell someone who wanted to buy this abt sizing, bc of the dramatic discrepancy btwn the sizes.

A’ROCH - 925 Sterling Silver Dinosaur Earring, 1 Pair - S925 Silver - Gold - One Size 

4/5, very cute, VERY small (dainty, sure) and good quality! my only complaint is that either it’s not real silver or whatever it is that they used to make them look gold is something that im allergic to. my ears got itchy

A’ROCH - 925 Sterling Silver Ear Cuff1 Pair - Cross - Silver - One Size

4.7/5, definitely 100% silver. i’d love to wear them but with my move i can’t find either pair of the earrings

they only sell them as 2 of the cross cuffs or 2 of the parallel cuffs which is annoying bc they’re pictured together but they’re good enough and cheap enough that i’d buy the parallel ones in a separate order

Euphrasia - Oxford Crossbody Bag, Black - One Size 

5/5 one of my best buys hands down

its ugly cute but it’s so useful

it has so much storage space for such a small bag

im in love

Jansi - Set of 3: Heart-Embroidered Socks, Black + White + Blue - One Size

4.5/5 i wanted the dark gray that’s pictured but they edited the hell out of that photo so the blue that i ordered is actually the gray sock pictured

really comfy and cute! esp with the tops of the hearts peeking out over the tops of high top converses??? i love it sm

i have big feet and they fit me, so they’d fit most ppl i think

Ashlee - Cuffed Denim Shorts, Light Blue - M

2/5, a horrible disappointment part 1

maybe i shouldve sized up more but the critch area just fits SO BADLY i left these at home

i would return but im not paying for return shipping to hong kong so i’ll donate them

they’re also cute really badly like they don’t taper in at the waist at all

no human person is shaped like that pls ashlee

they get a 2 bc they are shorts and they sent me the right color

Rosehedge - Pleated Mini Skirt, Black - S

3/5, a horribly disappointment part 2

i shouldve sized up idky i didnt

i can actually fit into them and zip them up and everything but it’s so so short that you can basically see my entire safety short covered butt and it kinda bulges between the top of the tiny sewn in safety shorts and the actual skirt

wow thats a weird sentence sorry but you get it

has thousands of good reviews though, way more than anything on this list so that must count for something right?

3 bc it’s kinda my fault

Regalia - Faux Leather Wallet, Black - One Size 

5/5 beautiful lots of storage space but still very compact, would buy again

the “forever young, made in korea” is kinda ugly but what can you do?

Prinsis - Printed Socks, Dinosaur - White - One Size

3.5/5 they’re cute, but the design is so but that you can see halves of it on the front of the sock, which is very ugly

notice how on the site every pic is taken from the side? not a coincidence

they fit fine and are comfy though

>okay that’s it thank god!

>lmk if you have any questions!!!

(@gowon-yyxy)

[one-night-story]

Echoes of You (Spike Spiegel)

A/N: The formatting on this is h e l l. But when nostalgia slaps you and says “Fall in love with Spike Spiegel again.” You do as it’s says. Thus this

Roman Holiday had changed who she was so many times she didn’t remember who she was when she started. She’d been a drug lord, a spy, an informant, a bounty, a runaway. But these days, with blue and purple hair and a coat large enough to hide a pistol, she settled on being a ghost among the streets, listening and picking up information as she went. She found herself on Mars, mourning friends and paying dues. She was going to have to disappear again soon. But first, she needed food, scissors, and some hair dye; though she was uncertain what color. She tried walking into a convenience store when she ran into someone.

“Sorry about that.” The guy said. From that one comment Roman almost got whiplash. That voice shouldn’t be talking to her. That voice should’ve been dead. If not from the first time, then definitely the second time. She looked up at him and sure enough it was him. Spike Spiegel in all his blue suited, disheveled glory. And he looked just as shocked to see her. “Ro-?” He didn’t get to finish her name because she took off, sprinting in the opposite direction as fast as she could. He of course went after her, he always would, and she scaled a building to get to the roof. She pulled her pistol and waited for him to catch up.

“Who are you?” She asked.

“Ro don’t do this.”

“Tell me! Stop playing cruel tricks and just tell me!” She yelled. It couldn’t be him, it shouldn’t be him.

“Roman, it’s really me.”

“Bullshit, you died.”

“I didn’t,”

“Then you died again.”

“I’ve had worse.” He said with his trademark lazy smile. Roman almost let up at that. He still knew her weak points.

“Gimme the word.” She said, lowering her gun but not putting it away. He furrowed his brows and then figured it out.

“Lily.” He said. Roman lowered her pistol entirely and put it away. Her flower of choice. Julia had roses, she had lilies. Her whole form softened, though she was far from the Roman he used to know. Spike took a step forward to see if she’d let him and sure enough, she didn’t move. “It’s good to see you Roman. Glad to know you’re still picking up information.” He said. Roman shrugged and sat down, still keeping her distance.

“Nothing better to do on this dirt rock. You know you threw the whole operation into chaos, right? There’s a power vacuum with at least seven people trying to fill it.” She said. Spike sat across from her, a little closer than she would’ve liked, but she allowed it. She chalked it up to some primal part of her brain still wanting to keep him as close as she could. He pulled a cigarette from his pocket and stuck it in his mouth.

“What’s next for you then? Figure you’re not gonna stick around for that mess to sort itself out.” He said as he fished out a lighter and lit the cigarette. He took a drag and offered it to Roman. She took it and copied the movement. She never smoked unless she was with Spike. Again, she chalked it up to that primal part of her brain that was still 13 years old and hoped that she still stood a chance against a far prettier half-sister.

“I cut my hair, redye it and catch a flight out of here. I’m thinking Ganymede. Or the asteroids. Hell, I could go be a small fry in Tijuana.” She said.

“And what color will it be this time?” He asked. Roman’s mood was usually determined by her hair. She changed it with regimes, mood, the music she was listening to that month, and sometimes when she felt she had no control of anything. He watched as she thought over her answer.

“Red. Probably. Or pink. Julia always thought I’d look good with pink.” She said muttering the last part.

“You would.” He said. Roman tried to not flush to the color in question, but she never did take compliments well. “I remember she was constantly trying to push you out of the shadows.”

“I like the shadows. No one judges me there. I’m useful there.” Roman argued. Spike chuckled and took a drag from his cigarette. The motion was repeated when he passed it to her to take a drag.

“Maybe, but you have no reason to stay there. Unless you wanna start working for the police.” He said.

“I could be a bounty hunter.” She said with a shrug.

“Oh no, I don’t think I could have you competing for my dinner money too.” He said with his trademark smile. Roman laughed at his comment, a real laugh. Something she hadn’t done in a while. As she laughed, Spike watched her. Her face was lit up by the beginnings of sunset and neon. Her and Julia had no personality similarities, but sometimes they did have physical ones.

“I haven’t done that in forever.” She said when she finally calmed down. Spike smiled at her. She seemed lighter now, more at ease. It was like the laughter fit had locked her into a time machine and she had shed so many years of cynicism with ease. “What about you? What becomes of the great Spike Spiegel? Now newly undeceased again.” She asked. Spike thought it over. He wasn’t certain. He didn’t know if he could go back to the Bebop. But he didn’t know any other way of life. Maybe just him and Jet could strike out again. Maybe he needed to go forward. Maybe he needed to disappear.

“No idea. Maybe dye my hair and change planets.” He said. Roman rolled her eyes.

“Hey, don’t steal my one thing.” She said. Spike chuckled and actually gave her a genuine smile. They were silent for a minute, casually passing the cigarette between themselves. For a moment they felt like teenagers again, sharing cigarettes and sharing a moment of uncertainty. At least that’s how Roman always felt in moments like these. Until finally she broke the tension.

“Annie told me you came to see her.” She said as she looked down.

“Yeah. Thought I might finally kill him.”

“Ignored my bounty then.”

“Always did. Whenever it came up, no matter what the price, no matter what name you were under. I wouldn’t do that to you Roman.” He said. It felt like a whisper on the wind. Like if he said it any louder, he’d lose her like he lost Julia. Roman leaned into this, allowing one of her knees to knock into his. She needed this. She needed him. Outside of just that primal part that told her she was once 13 and crushing on the one person in the whole galaxy she couldn’t have.

“I look at you and I think… god what have we done with our lives? And what did it get us?” She said with what Spike could only describe as the truest form of sadness he’s ever seen from her. Roman Holiday kept all her cards close to her chest until one day, she’d die. But now? He felt like he was peering through a brick in her wall. “I loved my sister more than anything in this life. And I chose her happiness over mine, time and time again.” She scoffed and leaned back on her hands. “God I can’t believe I’m saying this.”

“What?” He asked. He wasn’t sure what was coming next, but curiosity killed him to know.

“A million years ago, she said to me “this one’s mine.” So, I stood by.” She said. “And I knew I shouldn’t do anything, I should just leave and pretend I never met you. But Julia,”

“She was too kind for that.” He said as his brain was slowly putting the pieces together. He had always wondered when they were kids, even before Roman became a shadow figure, why she always seemed to fall into that point, even when Julia brought her out, or when he tried to talk to her. But now he got it. She’d been hiding pain this whole time.

“I should go.” She said. She stood up and dusted herself off. Spike stood up as well and grabbed her wrist before she could go anywhere.

“Don’t disappear again.” He said. Roman looked down at her beat up shoes, trying to hide what had just come to pass.

“You can’t ask that of me.” She said.

“Ro, you’re all I’ve got left.”

“And who’s fault is that?” She snapped. Spike wanted to get offended. But he remembered an incident when they were younger, where he’d gotten too close and she’d snapped, and he retaliated. They didn’t speak for a month. Not until Julia forced them to, and not until after he’d brought her lilies. He sighed and plucked the nearly burnt out cigarette from his teeth and passed it to her. She took a drag and then stomped it out. She was still looking down at it when Spike brought her face to look up at him. Roman unintentionally leaned her cheek into his hand, blinking at him a couple of times.

“I won’t let this be the last time I see you Roman.” He said. Spike, at his core, was a deeply sentimental person. He couldn’t lose Roman. She reached up and brought his face to hers, giving him a small, soft and what Spike could only describe as a ghost of a kiss. Like she was afraid of what fully kissing him would mean. He kissed her cheek in turn, letting it sit there a little longer than either of them expected. When they separated, they put the distance back between them. Once again, afraid of what the closeness would do to them. She tossed him a comm unit she had pocketed off some guy and he caught it with ease.

“Call that ship of yours.”

“Wouldn’t that be going backward?” He asked.

“One step backward to go miles forward? I think it’s worth it. Call them Spiegel.” She said. Spike nodded.

“Remember, pink.” He said. Roman gave him a small, soft smile and nodded.

“See you Space Cowboy.” She said as she ran off the edge of the roof, scaling down the building to go buy some scissors, some food, and some pink hair dye.