#my gf didn’t believe me when I told her I filled a page with just Hilda’s mom then I showed her and she understood

[lafirechicken]

I’m so glad that we all agree Johanna is secretly built

[elsfleur]

could i request headcanons of abby or ellie with a gf who is spiritual or a witch? really likes astrology, tarot readings and the like? thank u :)

this is so self indulgent of me because i literally work as a tarot reader and am an astrology girlie so this request absolutely warmed my little witchy heart, yes yes yes!

🔮 ʾ ⠀

✧˚ you had stumbled upon what was clearly a teenage girl’s room in patrol, bright pink walls and polaroids, decorative burnt out lights from christmas trees spread across the ceiling, but most importantly: a stack of gossip magazines that put literature to shame. ellie submitted to her curiosity, quickly scanning through the still vibrant pages until her eyes fell on something curious: horoscopes. studying the small font beneath the latin names filled with dates she finally spoke up: a gemini.

✧˚ you hummed in response, confused, before catching sight of the magazine in her hands: oh, yeah you’re a gemini sun. a scorpio moon too, based on my calculations.

✧˚ a what sun? there are moons too? in all her years of life with a burning passion towards astronomy and space, going as far as dreaming of being an astronaut, something so distant in the reality you lived in, never has she ever heard the words you were speaking, searching through her memory for something and being faced only with constellation names, were you calling her a star?

✧˚ ellie was absolutely enthralled by your astrology knowledge, tearing out the horoscope pages out of all the magazines and carrying them back to your campsite despite having heard you say those were not accurate. she would take the opportunity to bombard you in astronomy facts, eyes glowing as you took the time to explain that beyond being the second planet from the sun and earth’s closest planetary neighbour venus was also a representative of love. she wanted your explanation on all of them, she would suddenly be starting conversations with things such as dina you’re such a leo and you would laugh.

✧˚ the girl was a general skeptic of all things, but when she told you about the retrograde movement of planets and you explained the devastating effects of a mercury retrograde on people, you best believe she would blame every miscommunication to occur during that period on the planet.

✧˚ at one point she would even begin confusing astronomy and astrology among herself, not quite sure where she had gotten the information she was stating as fact to joel until he burst out laughing over the traits of the taurus constellation. she really didn’t see what was so funny.

✧˚ the crystals and tarot cards were a bit too much for her to believe though, rolling her eyes until she fully understood how much those meant to you, choking back laughter as you eagerly explained what some pretty rocks could do energetically and read her future. she was the only one allowed to make fun of you though, elbowing jesse in the ribs when he started to question your card interpretations.

✧˚ you best believe she used your interests to her advantage though, memorising just enough to know if you felt sick she should hand you the light green rock and the pink rock was a love declaration (you gave her a small tumble of rose quartz and she carried it around everywhere), would write you little fake horoscope notes about how it would be a good week for your zodiac sign and a smoking hot auburn haired girl would kiss you that week and placing it by your bed, even went as far as drawing you both as the lovers card, though she would not show you it.

🔮 ʾ ⠀

bonus!

✧˚ abby was the opposite, not caring much for astrology but taking your tarot readings with the utmost seriousness. you once pulled the death card before she was off to patrol and her eyes instantly glistened with tears before you started explaining that was not what that meant.

✧˚ would still ask if your zodiacs were compatible though and absolutely take it to heart if you said they weren’t, deeply offended and claiming there clearly wasn’t any proof to your beliefs. if they were though, she’d point it out with a smirk every single time you spoke of the stars.

[prorevenge]

Mess with minors and my job? Lose your job and your boyfriend.

Tl;dr at the end because this is a doozy.

Alright circa 2014 I worked for a large movie theatre chain in a small Midwestern city. Job was pretty awesome outside of the shit pay and essentially no way to move up. I like to think I am good at my job and I try my hardest no matter where I work. In this particular situation I was one the most tenured employees at the theatre save for two other folks who had worked there part time on the side, and had full time jobs elsewhere.

So for the sake of this story I need to tell you about Jane (not actual name). Jane started working for the theatre 2 months before me. They worked elsewhere as a supervisor and was looking to move up at the theatre. Right after I started one of the managers left to work at a different theatre and the supervisor moved up. We had two managers, one general manager (basically the highest level at the theatre), and a supervisor which is a manager in training. (This is important.) Jane somehow got the supervisor position even though there was another person who essentially was promised the position due to their continued service at the theatre for almost 8 years. There were rumors about Jane sleeping with the GM when she started and this situation got them going again. I didn’t care too much because why would I, I am but a lowly peon in the corporate machine. Anyways Jane moved up and the tenured crew member left the company because they got screwed over.

Once Jane moved up we had a whole meeting about her moving up and how the theatre focuses on professionalism and ensuring no favoritism was happening. Specifically referencing how normal crew members shouldn’t fraternize outside of work with management.

Jane didn’t really listen to that though. She continued to hang out with the crew members who were mostly underage and would do various things like go drinking with minors, taking them to bars and buying them drinks or simply buying alcohol at a store and letting them drink at her house, I honestly have no issue with the drinking at home deal, just adding context, as well smoke weed with them and post pictures on Instagram. Oh yeah I forgot to mention Jane had a secret Instagram where they would post pictures of themselves with their friends from the theatre. They chose Instagram because none of their family or their boyfriend used Instagram and no one would know right?

Even more damning was her relationship with a 19 year old that worked at the theatre. She had a boyfriend who had been with her for years and honestly supported her for all intensive purposes. Not only did she have a 19 year old side piece, but also was messing around with a 17 year old. I even caught them messing around in the break room one time. She essentially threatened me with my job if I told anyone. Honestly she could’ve just told me to please be quiet and I would have just judged her silently.

Fast forward about a year or so and another one of the managers left for a new job. Jane obviously moved up and someone else took the supervisor position. Now I won’t go into too much detail, but despite my tenure and performance I was looked over for the promotion. A newer crew member who was really good friends with Jane got the position over me. This was confirmed by the other manager who let me know that Jane was definitely in good with the GM, who ultimately made the final decision. That being said I was beginning to sour and making minimum wage for years at a job that couldn’t give a shit about my efforts and continued performance. That being said I was preparing for an exit.

Before I get into my exit, it is important to note that Jane had and most likely still has a problem with me. I have talked about some issues I had with her, but I never escalated or even confronted her about anything she did to me up to this point. I honestly left it be. But I didn’t like her and the fact I didn’t like her or play along with her bullshit infuriated her. So much to the point where she made my life hell at the theatre. When she was a supervisor she didn’t have much power but when she became manager she began giving me shit shifts, convincing people that I was weird and to avoid me (I mean I am weird but not like avoid me weird), threatening me physically, threatening my job, her and her gang of misfit assholes also slashed my tires (I have no solid proof, but my car was parked in the employee lot and ya know only employees can get in), beyond that she also made fun of my girlfriend (my now wife) for having an invisible illness (MS), she would make her life hell because she had a disability and had some minor limitations. Add together all of this, plus my GF went off to college, plus getting looked over for the promotion, suffice it to say I found a new job.

I had a few close friends at the theatre including my now wife who I met while working there (silver lining right.) I had let a few of them know about the new job, but told them to keep it on the DL since it was still two weeks away. I had put my two weeks in with the GM and asked that he also keep it on the DL since Jane and her posse would fuck with me. I told him that I wanted to tell everyone myself so it kept him quiet.

Now the important thing about my new job is that it essentially paid me double my wages from the theatre. All of my friends were stoked for me, I was taking a job that would also have me making more than the managers at the theatre but also a job that put me on a better track in life. That being said with Jane and I butting heads on multiple occasions and her track record of messing with me, she decided to get one last attack on me. She started a rumor that I was just going to call out on all of my shifts the two weeks before my new job started.

With her last act of revenge in motion, the GM approached me and let me know that he wouldn’t be scheduling me the last two weeks. I tried to explain to him that the rumors were bullshit that I needed to work because it would be my only source of income. I told him that Jane started the rumor and I started to tell him all of the other stuff as well. He of course didn’t believe me and told me that Jane wouldn’t do what I was saying she would do. So it was her word vs mine. I contacted my new job who let me know that my start date was firm and that their budget wouldn’t allow me to start until two weeks later as originally planned. Now here I am essentially jobless for two weeks. Now I was upset, but I was also lucky. I was still living with family and didn’t have to pay rent, so I sucked it up and essentially told myself that I would just take a forced two week vacation. But Jane didn’t stop there. She escalated again by having one of her cronies call my new job and tell them that I got fired. I was luckily able to talk down my new boss by letting him know that this wasn’t the case that I put my two weeks in and everything else, but that was the last straw.

I left my last day at the theatre and while it was sad and I was upset that I wouldn’t be able to work out the last two weeks of my job that I had for years, I was focused and determined on revenge. Rule #1 of living a secret life and having a secret Instagram is not add every body and their mother to the page. I had a friend of a friend who also didn’t care for Jane let’s call them Joe. Joe and I had gone to high school together and briefly worked at the theatre together. He and Jane were part of the same group at the theatre until they had a small falling out. Nothing crazy but he wasn’t exactly happy with her. I talked to Joe and we discussed my issues with Jane over some lunch that I bought for him. (Food is the key to all revenge plots.) Once we ate and discussed my problems with Jane I asked for his help. I needed access to her Instagram. Ya know the secret one, showing her hanging out with underage employees, drinking alcohol and smoking weed with them, and also some mushy posts about her 19 year old boyfriend, as well as some moderately racy photos with her 17 year old fling. With very little discussion he gave me full access.

I took screenshots of essentially everything. We are talking 2-3 years worth of illicit and moderately illegal activity. More than enough to get her fired and to raise some questions in her relationship. I took the screenshots and I printed them on the most high quality paper/material that CVS had to offer. I also copied them too a few flash drives for good measure. I purchased two yellow padded envelopes (can never be too safe), and I filled them both with copies of all of the posts as well as a flash drive with additional copies. As well I included a note in each one for the appropriate parties.

One of the envelopes was taped to the back door of the theatre. There was somewhat of a blind spot so pulled into the parking lot from the rear and snuck around the corner mission impossible style to tape the envelope to the back door. On it was the GM’s name, as well in the letter I merely stated that one of their managers had a secret Instagram with a lot of damning evidence of not only favoritism, but also fraternizing with underage employees amongst other wrong doings. In the letter I also requested her immediate termination or the information would be provided to the district manager as well as our corporate office. I made sure to put it somewhere the GM would see on his morning sweep when he opened the theatre. The second folder and letter was delivered to her home by Joe. Joe agreed to this as I knew Jane’s schedule and had a good idea of when she would be gone and he knew where she lived from previous hang outs.

With both folders delivered it was only a matter of time. Before I knew it I was receiving death threats from Jane’s gang. All of them saying that they knew it was me and that Jane was going to come after me, that she never did anything to deserve this. It didn’t matter to me of course, I no longer worked there and would hopefully never have to deal with them again. From what I heard she was taken into the main office of the theatre and the GM let her have it. He ultimately had to fire her because there was very clear proof that she was in direct violation of many of the rules and conditions of her employment. As well her boyfriend with proof in hand kicked her out of his home.

Last I heard she moved farther north and hasn’t held down a solid job since. Her family didn’t want much to do with her once everything came out with her cheating on her boyfriend. Also the part about fooling around with a 17 year old tends not to sit well. In the end I started my new job without fail and moved on from that place. Haven’t see much of anyone from there since.

Tl;dr: Manager makes my life hell, continues to hang out and fool around with underage crew members, lives to regret it. Enjoy losing your job and your boyfriend.

(source) story by (/u/Ike09161995)

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

I'm gonna talk through my project for a second because I love it and it's consuming my life, and also it's gonna take a lot of effort and time and I'm incredibly nervous about it and it's so important to me and I can't stand the thought of it not working, but also maybe it won't work and that would break my little heart. So if you have it in you, maybe send some encouragement.

At the camp I work at, there's a legend of the origins of camp called the Bear Story. It's told at every closing campfire, it's a huge part of camp culture, and it's super important to camp and most of the staff.

It's really fucking important to me because I absolutely fell in love with it, and the woman that told it before me passed it on to me to continue telling. I am so passionate about this fucking story you have no idea.

It is oral tradition, it's never been copied or memorized. Some of the magic of it is that it changes with every new storyteller. I completely respect oral tradition and that's why I was hesitant at first.

But the woman that told it before me gave me a transcript, as well as hints and tips and parts that were important to her. It wasn't so that I could memorize it or anything, it was so to preserve it and keep her little changes recorded, and so that she could officially pass it on to me.

So I thought "Huh. Maybe it would be cool if I could have a bunch of versions from different tellers written down. Then the story could be better preserved, and passed on to the new tellers, like the transcript that was given to me."

I was nervous because this project could be seen as kind of an attack on the oral tradition, and I fully understand and respect that opposing point of view. But as I said, it's for preservation and camp history, and it'll kind of be to start a new tradition. New traditions are difficult to start and to welcome though, and I recognize that.

So on the camp FB page I wrote a little blurb about my project and asked for people to come forward and to help me.

One gentleman, a very nice father, said he'd look through his photos and videos for any documentation of it, which was super spicy and I love him.

But the next comment... shook me a bit?

Apparently, five years ago a different staff member tried a similar project. He wanted to make a CD with a bunch of different tellings. Cool, right? But he did receive a lot of criticism because again, it would go against the oral tradition. Therefore, he didn't continue pursuing the project.

However, I checked the comments on the FB post that the old staff member made for his project. Many of the first comments were criticism, yes, but once you got past that there was a lot of support. There were a lot of people saying they thought it's a cool idea, and they recommended people to reach out to. Older people that had told the Bear Story.

So now I have a list of people I can reach out to.

There's one man, and old teller that's very well known for his telling, that doesn't have an FB account, but my gf happens to be spending the weekend up at camp with him! She told him about my project and asked him to please help me? He said he thinks it's interesting and he'll try to type it up and send it to me.

Now, I know that man. I know he's obsessed with camp and he'll almost definitely send me a copy of his. So I'll have my version, the version that was told before me, and then his. Not a lot, but it's getting somewhere.

I'm not one to give up easily, and that's a threat. Especially on something as important as this.

There was an older story about camp, one that used to be well known. The Mist Story. However, it was oral tradition, and once it stopped being told (because it's a fucking scary story), it disappeared. Luckily, an older staff member had written it down so that it wasn't lost forever. And in the comments section of an old post, I read that there was another story, the Hermit Story, that had gone missing because the oral tradition had died out. That's what I don't want to happen to this story. I don't want it to be lost to time, I don't want it to fade out of camp culture, I don't want to come back to camp in ten or twenty years and realize that these new staff members don't know the story. That's why, while I respect the sanctity of oral tradition, I also believe that it needs to be preserved in a more permanent way than solely through memories.

That's why I'm fighting for this. I'm going to reach out to every person I know to try and gain more information. I have a list of people I know told the story, I have a list of old staff members that may be able to help. I'm not going to give up because the original idea received some backlash. I'm going to push and make sure that this story remains an important part of camp culture. It will not be lost, not if I have anything to say about it. It's tragic that old camp stories have already been lost, but I will not allow that to happen to this one.

Sorry I got so aggressive in that last paragraph, but I kind of have to keep myself heavily motivated through this entire project. I know it's going to be difficult, I've known that since the idea originally crossed my mind. But I can't stand the idea of giving up on this, even though I know that at some point I'll be tempted. But I'd regret it for the rest of my life if I gave up.

So I have my idea, I have my list of people to reach out to, I have an open Google Doc ready to be filled with this tasty tidbit of camp culture.

I can already tell that it's going to be hard on me. Reaching out to this many unfamiliar people is going to take its toll on me, mentally and emotionally, as well as dealing with the very likely backlash from people that believe in preserving the story solely through memories.

But even if it kills me, I swear to god I'm going to do this.

I'm just gonna need a lot of help along the way.

And I know that all of this anxiety and toil and trouble is going to be worth it when I have a document full of history that I get to pass on to someone when I leave camp. When I decide that my time of telling the story is over and I get to pass the story on to someone that I choose, someone that will love it like I did. When I get to see one more story added to the document and know that in the future there will be countless more. Little changes, little bits of personality added to it, and now it can all be tracked.

Christ on a cracker, I'm getting lightheaded just from thinking about it.

I need to keep up this energy, that's why I'm going at it so enthusiastically now. I know it might be hard to keep up this enthusiasm In the future.

Anywho I just wanted to talk this out to an audience, thank you for your time, have a beautiful day and I love you all.

[olivenight17]

Can we get some Amai Mask x reader? Maybe where he gets caught kissing/making out with his gf/so by some sasaengs? Thank you!

Hey hey anon! Guess who finally finished your request~ That’s right, me! I have to say, I had no idea what sasaengs were at first and looking them up, hoo boy. Those are some crazy, crazy people. But, given the context, it just made this so much more fun to write! I mean this really allowed me to let loose on my more angsty side, but don’t worry, it’s all fluff in the end. Seriously, this was a fun request, thank you so much for it! Enjoy our righteous hero, anon~!

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TW: slight language, angst, bullying, small mention of suicide and mild violence

Amai Mask x Reader “To Love a Celebrity”

It wasn’t easy dating one of the most famous celebrities out there.

It meant being away from him, having to share him with the rest of the world and constantly having to watch your back. The first few months into your relationship with Amai, it was fine. Both of you went out in disguises, made sure neither of you were being followed when one came to the other’s house and somehow managed to avoid the media and all of its nosiness. While Amai wanted to show you off and wanted to be proud of the relationship he had, he couldn’t. It risked your safety and comfort and he wasn’t about to let that happen.

But then came the incident.

You had rushed over to Amai’s house as soon as he sent the text that he was home from his concert.

He opened the door with a smile and you quickly hugged him. Chuckling, he returned the embrace. “You missed me, huh?”

“Of course I did! I haven’t seen you all week!” You exclaimed, squeezing him tighter.

The two of you stayed like that for a moment, just enjoying each other’s presence, before Amai moved to close the door behind you. “Well, I can fill you in since you missed all the action.” Leading you over to his dining room, he pulled out one of the chairs.

Giggling, you sat down. “My my, such a gentleman.”

“Anything to please my lady.” He remarked, taking your hand and kissing it before turning away. In an effort to make up for all the time he had spent away, he made your favorite dish for dinner and the two of you talked about anything and everything that happened during your week and laughing at jokes the other made.

Eventually, the conversation steered it’s way back to his work. “You’re working on a new movie too, right? What’s it about?” You asked, quirking an eyebrow when Amai shot you a smirk.

He got up from his place at the table and went digging into one of his bags. “Well, I could tell you, or I could show you since we officially finished editing today. It’s not out to the public yet, but I know you’ll keep my secret,” he mused. Once he had found what he was looking for, he knelt down in front of his TV and popped in the small disc. You, on the other hand, were getting yourself settled onto Amai’s very comfortable couch with a cocoon of blankets already surrounding you. Laughing lightly, he poked your forehead. “Comfortable, my little caterpillar?”

“Not quite,” you answered. Extending your arms out, you cracked the cocoon open enough for Amai to slip in next to you. “Now I’m comfortable.” Sighing happily, you turned your attention to the screen.

The movie was spectacular, but you didn’t expect anything less of your boyfriend. He always managed to get assigned to the best projects and the way he managed to really bring it all to life with his acting just made it all the more breathtaking. Excitedly, you shifted closer to him to tell him that with a bright grin, tilting your head when he didn’t answer you. “Amai, are you okay?” You asked with a concerned frown on your face.

He seemed to snap out of his trance when you spoke. Tucking a stray hair back into place for you, he smiled. “Sorry, you were just so cute it stunned me for a bit.” His answer surprised you and you felt your face grow hot.  It was always embarrassing when he complimented you out of the blue like that.

You sat up and shook your head, already moving to deny his words. “Says the one who’s a literal model.” The effectiveness of your remark was short lived as Amai suddenly pulled you into his lap.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself. You are every bit as beautiful a model as I am. I’m just lucky that I’m the only one allowed to see the show.” He grinned, a deep passion in his golden eyes as he looked at you.

The warmth of your cheeks deepened before you leaned up and pressed your lips to his. The kiss was slow and sensual with Amai’s arms slipping down your back lower and lower until they rested on your hips. Once there, he broke from your lips to kiss down along your neck when there was a flash of light. It jolted your senses and, out of the daze of your makeout, turned your gaze to where the light came from. To your horror, the curtains to Amai’s house were not closed and through the window, you could see the figure of someone with their phone.

Immediately, you jumped to your feet and cursed as the figure began running off. They were already gone by the time you had opened the door to chase them. You sat back down on the couch, rubbing your hands together nervously. Your blood felt cold as ice, not even the comforting touch of Amai’s arms was enough to warm you. “We were so careful, I don’t understand…” You mumbled to yourself, going through everything in your head. There was nothing you could have done differently.

“Hey, hey, look at me,” He prompted. “It’s going to be okay. We’ll get through this, and we’re going to find whoever took that picture, alright?” His tone was soft and reassuring, you found yourself nodding along. Slowly, you began getting a grip on yourself. Whatever happened, you both would make it through.

Fortunately, you did. Though it was far from easy.

The morning after, your face was covered in every front page of a celebrity magazine and there was article after article of you, ‘Amai’s Makeout Partner.’ It was embarrassing going to work for the following days, you could feel all of your coworker’s eyes on you, and you swore you could hear laughter every time you turned your back. But, after a week, the main press died down when they weren’t getting anywhere with their story.

Just when you thought the worst of it was over, things got worse. Hundreds of texts came pouring through your phone, each with a nastier message than the last.

Making out like that? What a whore.

You’re nothing more than a gold digging slut.

You’re not worth Amai’s time, why don’t you just kill yourself?

Leaving all of social media was the only thing you could do to stop the messages. However, it did not stop the vandalism of your house. It was happening so often you barely had the energy to go out and clean it off anymore.

The final straw came when you called Amai in the middle of the night after someone shattered your window with a brick. “I’m so scared, I’m not even sure if I should go outside anymore. The note on the brick says the next one’s going through my head!” Sobbing, your free hand clutched at your torso to try and stop your body from trembling.

You could hear how pained he sounded even through the phone. “It’s going to be okay, I promise. I’m coming over, we’re getting you out of that place right now. Remember that secret penthouse I just bought? It shouldn’t have been mentioned to the media yet, you’ll live there for as long as it’s needed. Are you okay with that?” Shakily, you agreed with the plan as you began heading towards your room. “Good, I’ll be there in a few minutes. Just breathe, you’re going to get through this. I love you,” He told you.

“I love you too, Amai. Please get here as fast as you can.” You pleaded before saying your goodbyes and getting your things packed. Fiddling with the hem of your shirt, you glanced from out your front window, looking for any sign of movement. Then, a black car rolled up and you sighed in relief. Amai was finally here.

Cautiously, you opened the door and began making your way to the car when you heard a crack and felt liquid seeping down your shirt.

Someone had pelted an egg at you. They were about to chuck another one, but Amai was faster. He was already out of the car and crushing their wrist so hard they jolted at the sudden pain.

The hood the figure was wearing fell down to reveal a woman in her early twenties whimpering in pain. “Oh my god, Amai Mask is holding my wrist!” The shock seemed to have worn off on the woman as she began squealing like a teenager with a crush.

“And I’ll be breaking it if you don’t explain yourself this instant.” Amai growled, tightening his grip as the woman gasped in pain.

“Okay, okay! Listen, I’m just trying to look out for you. You’re spending way too much time on her and that time is wasted. I mean seriously, she’s nothing, I bet she’s not even a real fan of you like I am. You hardly pay any attention to your fans anymore and it’s all because of her!” She exclaimed, glaring holes into you.

You stood in confusion. All this hate and threats, were all because you were supposedly taking Amai’s attention away from him? You could barely believe what you were hearing. However, just as the anger built up in you, it quickly left as Amai took the woman and slammed her into a nearby wall.

You had never seen him so angry before in your life, but it wasn’t a brash, hot anger. It was calculated, cold and far more terrifying. He walked towards where she fell with rigid steps and picked her up by her hood. “You think you can threaten her, stalk her, and vandalise her home and herself because you’re not getting enough attention? What a pathetic excuse to become a criminal. You are the lowest of low.” He hissed, slamming her face in the wall which made you jump.

Quickly, you dashed over to him and grabbed him by the arm. “Amai stop, please! You’re going to kill her!” You exclaimed, looking over at the woman to see if she was even still alive. Her chest was rising up and down and you sighed in relief.

Meanwhile, Amai scoffed at your words. “And? I’m doing the world a favor getting rid of such a monster. She is in no way justified for her actions and I will see to it that she never commit such acts again.” His eyes were so cold as he spoke, it sent a shiver down your spine.

“Please, I know you Amai. Sure, I’m angry at her too, her and everyone else have been tormenting me, but she doesn’t deserve to die because of it! She may be a criminal, but she’s still a citizen, let the law take care of her.” You begged, tightening your grip on his arm and trying to get him to look at you.

Eventually, he did and he saw the fright in your eyes. His frown never let up but his gaze did become softer and he sighed. “You’re right, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” Still, he lifted the woman up and she smiled as much as she could as she stared at him. “You disgust me. If you ever do this to my girlfriend again I will be taking each and every one of you to court and I will ensure that absolutely none of you will ever see my face or hers ever again. So go and tell your little group to never even look at my girlfriend again. Do you understand?” She seemed to have phased out and he shook her lightly, repeating his words.

When he got a nod, he let her go and she ran off into the night. Then, he held his hand out to you. “Just in case she doesn’t keep her word, I’m taking you to the penthouse anyway. Let me get your bags.” He said, already making his way towards them.

It wasn’t long before you both got into the car and he was helping you unpack at your new home. He kissed you goodnight, but just as he turned to leave, you caught him by the sleeve. “Could you stay with me tonight? After everything that just happened I really don’t want you to leave…” You trailed off as you looked towards the ground.

Amai only smiled at you as he picked you up in his arms. “But of course, anything for my lady.”

[betweenthetimeandsound]

Three Minutes to Eternity: My ESC 250 (#110-101)

(Also known as, the last set of songs before my top 100! Afterward, the write-ups will expand, and each song will have their own gif set of varying sizes. So less songs will appear in each section)

#110: Ani Lorak -- Shady Lady (Ukraine 2008)

“I've just turned one more page I belong to the stage Baby, don't call me baby”

Surprisingly, for such a beloved song, I didn't really get it at first. I came off of one listening believing it was just another pop song. It took a few watches of Ani's performance for everything to fall into place.

There’s so much sass in Shady Lady; the production to the lyrics click together to tell of a woman who not only leaves her lover, but seeks to become even greater than them. The mix of drum machine and strings add to this thumping dance number; I never fail in getting endeared with those head nods.

Ani sells with gusto, and the use of light boxes are incredible. She becomes an absolute superstar on stage, and has equal parts presence and vocals. No wonder a lot of people though this deserved to win.

Personal ranking: 4th/43 Actual ranking: 2nd/25 GF in Belgrade

#109: Knez -- Adio (Montenegro 2015)

“Još te ne dam maglama sa planina Još te ne dam vodama iz dubina A ti kažeš pusti me, živ mi bio Zaboravu predaj me, sad adio”

“I still don’t give you to the mists of the mountains I still don’t give you to the depths of the water And you ask me to let you go, forever To let you sink into oblivion and say goodbye”

The most recent of Zeljko’s compositions stands just as solid on its own, with its own melancholic string intro and beautiful soundscape. From the opening notes, you know of the story that is to come, which the lyrics painfully convey through beautiful images of rosemary, flowers, the sea and sky.

Not only that, but the build is absolutely graceful, with the key changes working effectively to build to a tragic crescendo. The staging plays well with this, going from a serene night to a bright red dawn. Despite the energy given out through the clapping and the eagle dance, Knez and his backing vocalists still convey the pain of leaving.

And if you look closely, you can find his daughter, Kszenija, amongst them. Six years later she would end up representing Serbia in this year's contest, albeit going "Loco loco" with her bandmates!

Personal ranking: 5th/40 Actual ranking: 13th/27 GF in Vienna

#108: Aliona Moon -- O mie (Moldova 2013)

“Între soare și ploi se nasc mii de culori Dar noi vedem doar nori”

“Between sun and rain, thousands of colours are born But we only see clouds”

Moldova is usually known for their wacky, fun performances, but O mie shows they could slow down a bit without losing their quirks. Even the songwriter, Pasha Peferny, takes a hard turn from his cute 2012 entry, Lautar (which you should still check out, by the way!)

The beautiful lyrics really stand out, which show equal parts whimsy and light. I like the use of colors and nature to convey the ambiguity and loss at the end of a relationship. While meant to be sent in English, it's good they went for Romanian in the end--it's a beautiful language, and we have a dirth of good Romanian-language songs in Eurovision (please, more of them!).

While the staging was a bit messy at times, especially with multiple dancers helping Aliona in telling, the song still shines through with Aliona’s sweet vocals and beautiful melody. Also, it took a while for me to note how her glowing dress arose at the bridge, haha.

Personal ranking: 4th/39 Actual ranking: =11th/26 GF in Malmo

#107: Nina Sublatti -- Warrior (Georgia 2015)

“I’m a warrior, isolated World gonna get up and see!”

While the lyrics are a bit simplistic (especially with the random , Warrior is badassery personified. The instrumentation (refined in Sweden) amplifies the intensity of the song and its message; the opening drums gives way to a dark pop soundscape with equal parts starkness and power.

Nina maintains a resolute stance--not only in the studio cut, but also in the live performance. The dark costuming transforms her into a modern-day warrior of sorts, and the LED imagery enhances the intensity. Notably, the GF performance featured a malfunctioning smoke machine; the smoke obscured NIna and we couldn't see her for a few shots. Doesn't take away from the rest of the performance, which shows her in a much clearer light.

Also, she did mention the song was dedicated to the Georgian people--not only to become strong women, but also against the Russian occupation in the north. Intriguing political message, my friend.

Personal ranking: 4th/40 Actual ranking: 11th/27 GF in Vienna

#106: Loïc Nottet - Rhythm Inside (Belgium 2015)

“Be you enemy or lover? We are put here to discover...”

(One minor thing about this is how Loic kind of reminds me of Julian Quintart from Abnormal Summit--not only because of their backgrounds, but how the former is dressed. haha)

Rhythm Inside is very cool, albeit timed art pop piece really showed Belgium’s strengths in the mid 2010s. The song is minimalistic and slick, with an ambiguous message detailing the processes of life. While really cool, sometimes it can rub me off because of how cold it can become. Art pop is great, but it has to engage too.

The performance is just as refined, if a bit odd, and Loic announces himself to Europe with his skills in music and choreography. He and his backing vocalists create a pointed performance which is equally minimalist and yet fills up the stage. Very modern and cool.

Beyond the contest, Loic has had a good music career, and I've actually followed a few of his songs. Check out 29 especially; the way he sings it is so heartwrenching.

Personal ranking: 3rd/40 Actual ranking: 4th/27 GF in Vienna

#105: Pernilla Karlsson -- När Jag Blundar (Finland 2012)

“Som en sjö utan vatten, som en lykta utan ljus Ett liv utan färger, det är inte du Nå’n man ser då man blundar, som en ängel framför Nå’n som hjälper en och flyga då man glömt hur man gör”

“Like a sea without water, like a lantern without light A life without colours – that’s not you Someone you see when you close your eyes, like an angel before you Someone who helps you to fly when you’ve forgotten how to”

Nar jag blundar is notable for being the only song sung in Swedish since the language rule was dropped (because Finland has a Swedish-speaking minority there). It's a pity because Swedish is a beautiful language to sing in, with its accents and how it flows in music.

Beyond that, Pernilla’s song for her mother is so tender, with poetic lyrics and a sweet charm about it. The images used in there, assuring how her mother is so special and how she's the best, really touches my heart (hi mom, I love you!) and adds a sense of innocence in it.

The staging also adds to the grace; despite Pernilla's initial hesitation, it grows into a beautiful package with a nice orange-turquoise contrast and a pretty use of the wind machine in the first chorus. While I do understand how it might have not stood out, it's definitely one of the least deserved NQs of all-time.

(Also, Finland was the only Nordic to NQ that year?! That's a shame...)

Personal ranking: 3rd/42 Actual ranking: DNQ -- 12th in the first semi-final in Baku

#104: Hadise -- Dum Tek Tek (Turkey 2009)

"Angel, I wake up And live my dreams endlessly"

Definitely one of the more notable ethno-bops in the late 2000s, Dum Tek Tek is known for its simple structure, but good use of drums and guitar really lift this piece up. It's a bit more produced than what was offered earlier in the decade, but still holds its own.

The frequent "dum tek tek" in the refrain is quite curious; for a while I thought it actually meant something, but it turned out to be a heartbeat. Still a fun way to put it, though!

The staging is quite well done; I liked the choreography and how Hadise played with the camera. However, her backing vocalists had to help her quite a bit in the singing, because she fell ill during contest week and it showed in the vocals. The fourth place might be a bit over-the-top, but it's still enjoyable.

Personal ranking: 7th/42 Actual ranking: 4th/25 GF in Moscow

#103: Paula Seling & Ovi - Playing With Fire (Romania 2010)

“You and I could try to stop – uh boy, till you drop If we get together now, we'll burn this place down!”

A (tapping at the top of the piano): You certainly look nice tonight. B: Thanks; but I got the skirt from a friend and I need to make sure nothing spills on it.

(At that moment, A twirls around and puts his hand on B's shoulder. She stiffens before relaxing and places her fingers gingerly on A's wrist. A sudden beat)

B: I thought I told you that I needed to keep the skirt clean! A: Then why did you want to dress up like that tonight? (Beat) B: Well I wanted to go out later to a bar? A: In this climate? (sighs) B: Don't tell me you have something else in mind...

If Eurovision decides to do a jukebox musical, then Playing with Fire has to be one of the main songs in it. There's so much tension between the duo; one could make a bunch of plot points ranging from illicit affairs to a first crush and everything else in between. And then it all explodes.

On stage, the chemistry between Paula and Ovi is absolutely infectious. This adds to this dramatic bop, with flirtatious lyrics that are simultaneously fun and witty; they tease and shout at the same time. The instrumentation is dramatic (though it took me a while to appreciate the transition between the verses and the chorus), and I love the piano motif that persists throughout. Paula’s high note is fantastic; it can pierce through the transparent piano and through the stage itself. Such a dynamic duo!

Personal ranking: 3rd/39 Actual ranking: 3rd/25 GF in Oslo

#102: Koza Mostra feat. Agathon Iakovidis -- Alcohol is Free (Greece 2013)

“Μεσοπέλαγα φανάρι Ρε μας πήρανε χαμπάρι Ποιος το πήγε το σπιτάκι μου μακριά, μακριά;”

“There’s a lantern in the middle of the sea Dude, we were found out Who took my little house far away, far away?”

If you remember my commentary under Opa! (#207), the Greek economic crisis impacted the country significantly. At the time of this entry, there were different negotiations about how to handle Greece's debt; when that fell through, it looked like Greece was going to leave the European Union. By the time the 2013 contest ended, the Greek public TV station, ERT, shut down for two years.

Alcohol is Free tries to describe this chaos through a number of metaphors, ranging from mermaids to whisky and everything else in between. The exclamation mark to Greece’s golden era not only has silly lyrics, but also mixes their usual ethnic sound (with rebetiko) with ska to create a very vibrant concoction. It’s a definite spark of energy whether it’s just to brighten up a day or running around with actual alcohol! (though this blog does not condone underage drinking, driving under the influence, or pressuring people to drink alcohol. Be responsible.)

Personal ranking: 3rd/39 Actual ranking: 6th/26 GF in Malmo

#101: Anouk -- Birds (Netherlands 2013)

“If being myself is what I do wrong, then I don’t want to be right...”

When Anouk volunteered as tribute to represent the Netherlands, she was coming off after eight years of non-qualifications and with quite a bit of pressure. Birds was a little bit different from her regular discography (which I should really do a deep-dive on), and people thought it wouldn't work. Well, here's why it did.

The lyric is very hard-hitting, in terms of substance and how dark it is. I don't know exactly what Birds discusses about, but it ranges from just another relationship to suicide. I’m particularly intrigued by the dark nature of this song; the harp flourishes really toe the line in dreaminess--is it a dream, or a nightmare? However, I find it a bit cold sometimes.

Thanks to her experience, Anouk sells this really well on stage, with her soft, relaxed composure and the bird graphics creating a calm atmosphere. The flag-waving, which is a deriment towards other songs (including one coming up in the top 100), actually works towards keeping that serene nature, despite the dark undertones. And the bridge gives me all the chills; I can't help but sing along to that part.

The result? The Netherlands' first qualification and a route through which, after six years, they finally won again.

Personal ranking: 2nd/39 Actual ranking: 9th/26 GF in Malmo

[toddbeeson]

Guides/Ghosts/Spirits/Angels

I am going to remind you why I started these blogs to begin with...to point out that as a child I would point to lights and say “See.”  “See” was my first word.  This is directly such a story.

As a child my mother came to my room each night to pray with me and my brother, Brett.  Brett and I shared the same bedroom. We slept in twin beds. While my Pops was a traveling salesman and quite often away all week, my mom would prepare us for bedtime, turn out the lights, kneel down in the space between our beds and we would say the Lord’s Prayer.  If there was a special prayer request, she would include that as well.

Looking back at it now, it is a beautiful memory.  My heart is warmed at having shared time with my mother and brother in such an intimate, loving way.  Mom helped usher in the direct connection to God/Life/Spirit.

Also at that time, I would see shadowy figures standing around my bed. 

Yes, you read that correctly. 

They were different colors...and most easy to see when the lights were off. They almost looked like cartoon characters except for the fact that they appeared life size.  I couldn’t make out any facial characteristics.  They were just more of a shadow/shade thing that you could see through.  There actually was a real comfort in having them around during that time.  I never felt scared.  I do not remember how old I was when I stopped seeing them…maybe i was 5 or 6?...or probably shortly after I remember telling my mom that I saw such things as she was sure I wasn’t seeing anything.  She tells me now that she doesn’t remember this stuff at all.  i do-- I can close my eyes to this day and still remember what that bedroom and the shadowy figures looked like.

October 2002

After a traumatic weekend in Austin, TX that involved the closing of a relationship, the memory of the shadowy figures re-entered my mind.  I told a couple trusted friends about it.  They believed me and had heard similar stories, in fact.  My friend, Gigi, went on about how her child/son recalls details from his previous life...saying things and words that a child couldn’t possibly know.

I thought I was alone in sharing the expression that I had seen spirits.  I thought only “crazy” people see them!  But, I shared my memory anyway.  I had a feeling I needed to step into this truth and share it. (Btw- also in 2002 when I was staying at my ex-gf’s grandmother’s home in Galveston, I took pictures around her Historically protected home and although I didn’t realize it at the time that I was snapping pix, I did indeed capture a picture of a ghost-- you make out the details of an older woman! I have to find that picture!!)

After returning to LA a couple days later, I was asked to watch a 4th grade class for a half-hour while the homeroom teacher tended to another need.  She asked me to read a story, but could not find the book that she had wanted me to read.  So instead she had me read a story called,  “The Uninvited Guests.”  I was amazed as I read aloud to the class to find out that this “fictional” story was about a family that had moved to a house where ghosts lived.  The parents could not see the ghosts- only the children could see them!!!!!!

I told my truth and I felt validated.  My spirit was heard!   The timing of reading that story was perfect!!

Present Time

In keeping my interest of such stories and the wonderment of what happens to our spirit after we pass, I have read some books-- Brian Weiss’s “Many Lives Many Masters” -- which by the way I had actually attended his workshop in Austin, Texas that same weekend I was experiencing my break up and shared my shadow story with friends, Gigi and Josh...and most recently this past year my Pops gifted me books “Reality Unveiled” by Ziad Masri and “Journey of Souls-Case Studies of Life Between Lives” by Michael Newton. 

A week ago Saturday night, I felt exhausted and just wanted to sit back and watch some fun and silly movie before I faded to sleep...and had planned to watch Wayne’s World 2 as the movie just happened to illuminate itself from others -  I couldn’t even recall anything about the movie, so it would probably feel like the firs time watching it.  But before I watched it, I had a little ding hit me-- I felt inspired to read from Michael Newton’s book...so I picked it up off my nightstand and went thru the table of contents...leading me to wish to read the chapter on “Guides.”  

After I read a little bit and felt the gift of inspiration, I was now finally comfortable enough to allow myself to sit back and enjoy being entertained= I finally then felt it was now time to start watching Wayne’s World 2...and to my amazement and wonder, the movie pretty much started out with Wayne having a dream that he has a Native American Guide who connected him to Jim Morrison and on a mission...leading him to go on a faith-filled lark-- ultimately connecting to someone who had been guided by the same Native American Guide. Whoah!

It definitely now seems on this quiet Saturday night of relaxation and rest that I had again been led by a Guide to experience such a connection.  

I also had a flood of memories of those magical times I had been led in the past-- in previously posted stories.  To name a few:  I recalled having a dream in 2006 after a 13 year old girl I used to teach had died due to drowning while having an epileptic seizure while bathing alone-- in my dream she visited me in my bed to say she was fine.  I recalled my time being led to the Eden Prairie mall to run into a girl I used to date.  I recalled being connected with my ex-gf Lynn when she had lost her phone, but somehow happened to walk into the same place at the same time in a way that could never happen on a daily basis. Around 2007 I recall teaching my student, Charlie, the James Bond theme on guitar and being in such a flow I said now expect that your’e going to have a connection with James Bond-- and wallah-- I went downstairs to talk to Charlie’s mom...and she had a friend over who told a ghost story (out of the blue)-- one of which he mentioned he had visited an Irish castle that has a ghost-and he even added that he was there with the guy who played Q in James Bond movies(again w/ no knowledge of my having taught that song during my lesson)-- and many more stories= All feel Divinely guided.  

Last Monday (a couple days later) I woke up to the horrific news that a couple of old high school classmates (technically one was my year and the other was a year younger) had passed away unexpectedly.  Shocking and So so so sad.

It led me to picking up my Reality Unveiled and Journey of Souls books of my night stand at the same time...but I had to pick just one to read, obviously...and I settled on Reality Unveiled-- and just opening a random page.  I had a bit of trepidation to read that one at that moment, actually...as I heard my mind argue to just keep with the Journey of Souls per its magic last time.

But...as it turned out, I was correct...as the random page I opened to actually wrote specifically from the Journey of Souls book!  

It mentioned how when people die their spirits linger for a time on earth before going to a heaven place (no matter what their religion or beliefs, btw)..and that spirits are different shades of colors depending upon their vibrational frequency/energy.  Wow.  Dr. James Newton has scientific proof of such stuff having taped interviews with thousands of patients describing their in-between-time before re-incarnation.  

In a world where it seems that information/media/religion are being used for exploitation and selfish gain via misinformation, we can rarely trust what we see in front of us-- its even more clear that we need to carve quiet time-- to go inside/connect with our spirit and our guides...trust our heart and our truth...and know that without a doubt I have been shown so many ways that we are not alone in this life.  Ever.  We are always in the company of guides...and they help us in ways we might not even know.  

Its time to trust and remember this magic...more than ever.  

Thank you for reading this...I hope this helps you find peace, comfort, inspiration and trust in this world.

i wish you peace and magic.

Love, Todd  

Warmth by The Lift. 

[celestial-skyys]

Final update on the harassment situation.

Recap/Tl;dr at the end.

The girl that was harassing me is no longer on tumblr. Idk if it was my reports about her dangerous tendencies towards herself or others that did it or if it was the constant harassment towards me that did it but her blog is no longer on this site (seriously I filled over 7 reports on personal harm alone).

She and the guy that was harassing me tried making posts that said that I didn't want to talk to them privately. I didn't want to because I didn't trust that they would stay civil and not attempt to edit the conversations. They also shared posts that pretty much said that no matter what evidence I had it wasn't valid. No screencaps, recordings, etc can be used as evidence because I could have lied or edited them. But you got to understand they were the ones that took it to me publically in the first place after she sought out and found my blog. She only made the posts after she saw I made posts referring to her without mentioning her by user name. I just said "my ex's gf". This gives me the idea that she was stalking me for a bit or went through at least a page or 2 of my blog. So tbh wanting me to suddenly make it private even after I was making points like "you have no evidence", "you're the one that sought out my blog and started harassing me when I NEVER called you out by username" (and never planned on releasing her username), and my favorite "don't you dare use my abuse to say I was abusive", makes me think they would have edited our conversations as "evidence" or harass me worse in private.

All I did was have a friend block her for me and that was my extent of interaction with her before the incident. As of right now I have FB messages from people the guy contacted to harass and stalk me as evidence, I also have a spoken recorded statement from my friend that pretty much boils down to "the guy accused me of all sorts of abuse to ruin our friendship". I don't care if they say my evidence isn't valid, it is. I have witness statements that can speak on behalf of the guys behavior and trust me it isn't good. I also still have screencaps from the girls blog proving her unstable nature. The nicest way I can put it is he is a "nice guy" and she is a "yandere"

They both tried to stalk me through IP and practically attempt to dox me even though she used to be a STRONG advocate about anti-dox. I indirectly told them that I use proxies and IP changing programs because of people like them and advertisers. They maybe have about 2 or 3 people that support them publically while I have a confirmed 10+ who have also seen the posts and can agree that the attack was not valid. They no longer make posts about me. I don't know if it's out of legitimate fear or something else but if they are too scared to mess with me I'll take it. She hasn't mentioned the takedown on her Twitter, which I do glance at from time to time to make sure I'm not having the same issue over there, so I think I'm in the clear.

Now is the time I have to ask though. Was there really anyone harassing her because of what she was doing to me? I seriously have no idea of her claims of harassment were true. I had someone pm me saying that they have a group that could mess with her (not bullying but more like asking her to freaking stop and making the IP tracker pick up WAY more IPs) but I didn't tell them to do it because I knew she would blame me. I told them that if they wanted to they can but definately not on my behalf. Part of me believes that someone did something because want to think that she wasnt lying about the "harassing anons" and the literal thousands of IPs visiting her during her hiatus. She also was scared of constant t.co addresses visiting her but my friend who works with tech said that those were bots and tbh I still get a good laugh out of her thinking I lead the army of NSFW bots to ruin her life.

Anyway to recap: Fem!Harasser is cancelled. Harassers tried to make any evidence I could have not valid and were being hypocritical. I do in fact have witnesses to their behavior and evidence of harassment and unstableness of them. They got shut down from IP tracking me before that started. They have almost no support. No furthur comment from either harasser.

Then my questions:

Was someone actually "harassing" (real or her version) them after they harassed me or was it just a way to get me in furthur trouble?

Did someone set up an bot to spam go to her page?

And my final statement... I am not queen of the porn bots.

[blissfulsunkisses]

To The Boy I’ll Forever Love.

A year ago God blessed me by putting you in my life and I’ve never been more thankful. 2017 was the roughest year ever, I was played several times and ended up with many heartbreaks and unfortunately I let these people break me. So much was changing that year for me, we sold our house and were going to be moving to America and to be honest I really dreaded it as I was leaving my whole life behind to go start a new one where I knew nobody besides my uncle. It’s really hard to pack up everything, all the memories and just go. The worst was leaving my friends behind but the absolute killer was leaving you behind. After 7 months of intense heartbreak I had given up on love, I truly believed that love was not in my future and that it just wasn’t meant to be. Maybe it was because I kept rushing into relationships and trusting no-good people or maybe it was that I was destined to find true love before I left. It was finally coming up to the end of July and my first thought was “schools finishing I can finally go out and party” but I clearly jinxed myself and partied to hard that weekend and ended getting acute bronchitis and was not allowed to attend my last week of school. The last week of July also brought some good things into my life, I had recently been stalking you on Instagram and then 2 days later you followed me on Instagram and I was filled with happiness because I thought you were a cutie even though I’d only ever seen you on Instagram. I spoke to my one friend a lot about you because there was just something about you that kept taking me back to your Instagram page and eventually I didn’t have to search your name anymore, you were now my top searched, who would’ve thought in a million years I’d go through your page so much.

It was now the second week of August, I was finally better and was ready to hit the town again as my final day in the homeland was approaching and I knew once I moved, there would be no more partying. That weekend (August 12th) I was with my friend and I suggested we go out so we got our group of friends together and told them our last minute plans and they were down. Unfortunately who would’ve known that we all ended up being broke that night and could only afford the free water. Our one friend was speaking to his group of friends while I stood behind them all with my girl friend being shy as ever until I heard my instagram name being called out followed by “I follow you on Instagram.” I tried to act dumb as if I couldn’t think of your name but rather it was sitting right on the tip of my tongue ready to be shouted out. We then became “instagram homies” as you said. The night went on and we all went our own ways, my friend and I were skitting the night away in the basement and then I saw you again from the corner of my eye. I thought “it’s a sign let me get closer” but I turned around to make sure I could still see my friend and as I turned back, you were gone. I ended up going on my own mission to find you and hopefully speak to you, I walked out the basement and I passed you sitting on the one bench but you looked occupied so I went to the next stage and stayed there. The night was coming to an end and I successfully failed my own missions of talking to you. We got home and while lying in bed I asked my friend “should I dm him now and say it was good meeting him?” And she told me to wait till the morning so I didn’t look desperate. 6am came and I couldn’t be more excited to send you a message, I sent it and now the wait for your reply had begun.

After I got out the dms with you, we finally started having proper conversations and if I’m being honest, I started to like you but I warned myself not to fall so fast and get hurt but I did the exact opposite but never got hurt. Our first date (August 21) left me with millions of butterflies in my stomach and with your jumper that smelt of heaven covering my neck. I couldn’t wait to tell my mom how amazing our date was and how I thought you were the one, she looked at me and her eyes lit up and I knew she knew you were the one for me. I never slept all night as I knew it was a sign, I prayed so hard to be given a sign if I was destined for love and you, you were the sign... I fell in love with you but I didn’t tell you that until later on. Every time I saw you, every day I spent with you, I fell more and more in love with you.

My last week in the homeland had arrived and I did not want to leave, mainly because I was leaving you and I did not want to leave you. I spent every single day with you during my last week and I think that was my best week ever. I learnt so much about you and saw sides to you I could never imagine a person to have. You made me feel like I was the only girl in the world when I was with you. The first day you held my hand in public, I knew you were a keeper because no matter how shy you were to hold it you still did and I to be honest, I didn’t want to let your hand go. Every day I saw you I wished that I had met you before me moving was even in my future. I never wanted to leave you, each day when it came to our goodbyes I hated it because it meant I was a day closer to leaving you and each time I got in the car to leave my throat felt as if it was closing due to me wanting to cry. My final day with you has and forever will leave a hollow in my heart, I should’ve climbed out the car and given you one last goodbye but I couldn’t let you see me cry. My last date with you, I wouldn’t want to change it one bit because that was the day I truly fell in love with you, it was the day where my heart was so full it felt complete again, the day that left me with happiness and butterflies as it was the start of something I hoped would never end. Our last goodbye, the goodbye I prayed would never come was absolutely heartbreaking, I wanted nothing more than to cry in your arms and be by you and your heart forever. My Uber arrived and I could already feel my throat croaking and I was trying so hard to keep my tears back, the look on your face and our last touch will forever be a memory stuck in my head and heart. I should’ve stopped the Uber to give you one last hug and I’ll always regret that. I cried the whole ride home and couldn’t wait to get to my grans house so I could see my mom and hug her as I felt a hole forming in my heart and you were the only one who could fill that hole. You, you stole my heart.

I settled down in America and continued to fall in love with you even though we were 10,299 miles apart from one another. We FaceTimed every day and every night for about 3/4hrs, every chance I got I’d FaceTime you because seeing you made me so happy and warmed my heart. You always had a smile on your face, you’d wake up before the sun had even risen to call me. You truly were heavenly sent. September 13th you wrote on your leg “will you be my gf” and showed me your leg at 9pm when I FaceTimed you, and that was the day my life changed. I planned a future with you, you were part of my life, you held a special place in my heart that I knew would never be lost.

It was now 2018 and we still were the happiest couple ever. The months went on, we grew closer, we started planning our futures together, everything was just perfect. I had finally booked my ticket to come home and see you and spend at least 8 days with you and I couldn’t have been more happier but due to family issues that had occurred during February I started attending therapy from April and have been going ever since. I really enjoy going to a therapist because it’s not always easy to speak to those you love about your problems especially until somewhere down the line my happiness changed and I became selfish. I started to rethink this whole long distance relationship due to always seeing other couples out and having fun and being able to physically touch their partners while mine was 10,299 miles away and I wasn’t able to touch him or properly see him until June 18. Summer was approaching, graduation was coming up and all I could think of was going out and experiencing this 3 month summer holiday everyone always boasts about.

I unfortunately let the selfish part of me take over and started drifting away from you, every time I wanted to tell you I couldn’t because your happiness was so special to me and you were in such a good space in your life, I didn’t want to wreck that. Instead I wrecked something I’ll forever hate myself for. I wrecked us. I wanted to go out and do crazy things but I was scared that you wouldn’t approve of the crazy summer I had coming for me. I let people convince me that it was better to be single than do long distance. I cried in so many therapy lessons because I felt as if something was taking over my heart and my mind. I held several things so deep inside of me that I physically made myself sick. I didn’t want to make a decision but my therapist told me “if it’s meant to be it’ll be, even if it doesn’t turn out how you would like, try again in the future because a love this deep could never fade” and those words have stayed with me until this day. Ending things with you was never something I planned, please know that. It was never something I hoped would happen. I wish it never did and that I was still with you, I miss the sound of your voice, I miss you, I miss your incredible personality and sense of humor but I mainly miss the memories and time I could’ve been spending with you right now. I should’ve waited and spoken to you, I shouldn’t have just gone straight ahead and ended it because you didn’t deserve it. You deserved nothing but happiness and when I ended it, I sat in my school bathroom and cried myself into a state. So many summer nights I’d be sitting with a bottle pressed against my lips but rather hoping it was your lips instead of a bottle. I cried so many nights but couldn’t man up and tell you that I missed you because I had ended it and felt like a witch who shouldn’t be feeling anything besides hatred as I hurt the only person I ever truly loved and never wanted to part with.

I know there’ll never be enough words in this lifetime to apologize to you but I’m so sorry. You never deserved the pain I put you through and I’m sorry I put you through it. I’m sorry I sprung it all upon you when you weren’t expecting it. I let you go and I’ll never forgive myself. I can’t say that I’ll send you this to read but if you do, please know that you were my world and I’m sorry for the pain I caused you. I miss you so much it’s scary. I wake up most nights at 3/4am with hurt in my body and I just want to cry and it’s all because I let a selfish part of me make a decision I shouldn’t have made.

I wish you all the best of luck with your future. You’re so special and you have a bright future coming your way. Never give up on yourself or the goals you set because like I’ve always said to you, you can do it and many people believe in you so keep going! I wish you all the best of luck for the adventure coming your way in these next few months, you're going to do great and shock people with your extraordinary mind. I hope one day we can figure things out as I don’t want to let you go from my life. You do and forever will hold a chunk of my heart and I’ll never forget you.

To the one I let go of, I love you.

[reddit-lpt]

LPT: How to fight, win or lessen your traffic citations.

LPT: How to fight, win or lessen your traffic citations.

I wanna thank this thread from back in the day and build upon it.

Here's my experience with THREE traffic citations I got in ONE month. For the record, I have a fairly clean traffic record. No accidents in 14 years of driving and a handful of speeding / parking tickets, an average of about 1 ticket every 2 years or so. The three I got in one month amounted to frequent driving and bad luck. I got 1 ticket for running a red light, 1 ticket for being in a park after closure, and 1 ticket for running a stop sign. Also, I'm a grad student not a law student so I don't know jack about the law but I do know a thing or two about research. Finally, I'd like to remind everyone that this should in no way should substitute for legal advice.

First the park after hours ticket. Surprisingly the trial took place until 2.5 months down the road which is long. If you are wondering why it takes so long, it's because the law tries to work in a bunch of defendants into one day. So they schedule something that is convenient for them which may act as a deterrent for you. So 99% of the time, the cop will show up and there will be anywhere from 1 to 5 other defendants there. At that point, the cop will talk to each defendant before the trial and offer them a plea bargain. What's a plea bargain? It's when they give you a lesser sentence in order to avoid the entire trial. The law is honestly lazy and will show you a bit of leniency if you are nice because trials can take a while (anywhere from 5 mins to hours) and people want to get home. That day it was just me and someone else - a kid who was caught doing donughts in the parking lot. I overheard his fine was something like $400 dollars plus 3 points (careless driving I believe although I might be mistaken). He got a plea bargain NOT from the cop but from the judge right before his trial. Kid took the deal ($400 but 0 points). Might have something to do with the cop being a park ranger.

Next was me. So a bit of a backstory. My gf and I went to the park on a weekday after work. Parks normally close at sundown (and neither one of us knew about). We pulled up just after 9 for some "cardio." The gates were open and the park was big so we drove around until we found a nice parking spot (and I'm anal with my car). As soon as I parked and turned off my lights, I see the park ranger (I'll refer to him as just cop) pull up in front of us. We didn't even get a chance to get out of the car. The guy was cool and I was nice back. Answered him truthfully and honestly. No drugs or liquor in the car. That's the first thing he asked. Both of us were dressed up. Nothing shady at all. He goes to his car, sits a while, and comes back with a $280 fine. I was upset because it's $280. Plead non-guilty and here we are.

So the judge offers me a pea bargain. He'll take $50 off the ticket and no points OR I could go for it - win the entire amount back. If I'm found guilty, I lose it all. I decided to go for it. I did a bit of research beforehand and noticed that there were NO signs anywhere in the park entrance but there were some much further into the park by the parking lot which are hard to notice at night. Additionally the gates were open and the traffic lights were green and conducted traffic into the park. Right before the trial, I talked to the cop and he told me one of the gates were broken so they kept all of them open. I saw my chance and went for it. You know that phrase "anything can and will be used against you?" It works in both directions including against the cop. At the trial, the prosecutor (aka park ranger) presents his evidence (video footage, photo footage, signs, etc) and then asks questions until he is satisfied. Then it's your turn. Again I answered truthfully and honestly like where I was and what I was doing. After which it was my turn. I presented a video of my car dash cam entering the park with no signs of park hours anywhere. Then I started bombarding the cop with a bunch of questions such as - why he didn't pull me over by the entrance, why there were other cars traveling nearby, why there wasn't a sign by the entrance (a DUI driver knocked it down from earlier and it was never replaced), and why the gate wasn't closed. His eyes lit up and he knew he fell into a trap from talking too much. He replied they were broken. The judge bought it, told me I should have been a lawyer, and dismissed the case. I got my money back. I also wanna add I enjoyed the whole court experience. Something everyone should do win or lose just to get an idea of how the process works should they be faced with a serious charge later on. Also, the park's gates are now closed because of me. I checked a week later.

Second, the red light. I was driving my family home after celebrating my mom's birthday. It was snowy / wet that day so I was doing about 40mph in a 45mph zone. The light turned yellow and it was fairly late to stop so I ran it. I could have possibly stopped and come skidding to a halt but I didn't want to risk it due to the weather conditions. A few seconds later I see the lights behind me and I pull over. Both of my parents, whom are normally quick to snap at my mistakes, said I ran the yellow and the cop was riding the line and just trying to fill his end of the month quota. Once again, I was nice to the guy, gave him my ID, insurance, and he gave me a $180 ticket for a red light related citation. Normally it is 3 points but he caught me a break with just the fine. I plead not guilty as I wanted to fight it in court. Since I was driving my mom's car, she didn't have a dash cam. Additionally, both of my parents wanted to be "witnesses" but couldn't call out of work. I also could only get an hour off that day so I showed up, saw if I could get a plea deal but it was already as low as it could go. I ended up pleading guilty and running off to work. However I noticed something. There were 5 other defendants before me. Each of the defendants were faced with VERY expensive tickets and/or points. Each time they were bumped down to around $180 and zero points which is the bare minimum. My only real loss but hey no points and experienced gained.

Lastly, the stop sign. I was coming back home from the gym late for work and ran a stop sign at a T intersection. In one of the directions, the road led towards a dead end and that direction doesn't get any traffic. Hence if you are coming from one direction, you either take a left. If you are coming from the other, you take a right. The cop was camping the dead end. A cheap move but I got caught. I was pulled over seconds later. This is the last ticket I got in the month so naturally I was pretty pissed about having to go to court for the third time. Thus I became reserved and answered pretty neutral. Wasn't outright rude but very blunt "yes" "no" "yes" "no." The officer asked me if something was wrong and I replied back "no." Halfway through she asked me if I was carrying (my conceal carry must have popped up in her computer) and I said not at that time. Grabbed the ticket and almost peeled off out of anger. The ticket was $140 and 3 points (which I didn't find out til I got to court). I plead not guilty once again. When the court date appeared, I showed up and acted a lot nicer. The officer noticed or maybe she didn't care. She cut me a deal. A different ticket for $180 (that's $40 more) but 0 points. I took it, plead guilty, paid the reminder, and wished her the best. DONE.

So 2 wins and a loss. Not bad.

MY SUGGESTIONS TO YOU:

1.) You are not talking your way out of a ticket. Hell will freeze over before you do. Instead, if you plan on pleading not guilty, the battle begins when the officer approaches your window. Turn your music off. Take your sunglasses off. Roll your window down all the way. Have your license and registration in your hand. You don't have to call them "your royal highness" or kiss ass but "yes officer" or "no officer" is enough. Don't argue. Don't talk back. Be nice. If you have questions about the ticket, ask at the end. If they ask you "do you know why I'm pulling you over?" Either say no or "sorry i'm not sure officer but I don't want to incriminate myself" or something to that end. DON'T ADMIT TO ANYTHING. The majority of officers are nice OR AT THE VERY LEAST, neutral. Don't make their job anymore difficult or they will come after you. But remember, they have a very good memory, even as much as 3 months later.

2.) You are probably not going to win in court. It's an uphill battle if you want to go to trial. You are there first and foremost for the plea bargain. If they get the cop or judge to DROP the points or lower the fine, TAKE THE DEAL AND RUN. Otherwise you are gambling against the odds.

3.) If you want to go to trial, depending on what you get a ticket for, you MUST do research. Read the ticket front page and back. Look for mistakes. Bring in pictures, videos, diagrams, charts, use google maps for distance, or whatever applicable to prove your side of the story even if it is simple. Witnesses if need be. When it's your turn to ask the cop questions, ask as MANY QUESTIONS AS POSSIBLE trying to catch them in, not necessarily a lie, but a fib or mistake and then milk it as much as you can. In my park ticket, I brought in a Webster dictionary definition of "sundown" and argued technicalities such as astronomical and nautical twilight which the judge loved. Also if you aren't a public speaker, write down a small script on note cards and questions you plan on asking. In another unrelated case, my dad hired a lawyer to sue a business and I went with him. The lawyer bombarded the defendant with a bunch of questions trying to catch him in a lie or just make him look bad. That's the main mechanism behind it all. At the end of the day, the cop is still a person and persons make mistakes although they probably have more experience than you.

4.) Dress up in slacks and a suit. The average person will be wearing a white tee and jeans and barely speak English (depending on your neighborhood) so it will be nice for the judge to meet a member of the community who finally looks presentable. Also be as nice as you can to the judge. "Thank you for taking the time to see me, your honor." You don't have to kiss ass but give respect. Remember the police and the judge is a brotherhood. They have each other's back. You are the outsider. You have to go above and beyond to prove your side of the story. They just have to find something they don't like about you and it's game over. After the trial, thank the judge and the cop for their time and wish them the best with the most sincere look on your face whether you win or lose. You don't wanna piss off someone who has more power than you because of your pride. Also you might be seeing them again like in my case.

5.) Be a unique person not a random. Also be charming. Chances are you'll meet a judge who isn't good or bad but neutral. Still try and get them to loosen up a bit by showing him you are fun - introduce yourself and tell him what you were doing that day. The judge probably sees a bunch of people each day and they are exactly the same. "I didn't do it." "This system is corrupt." "Please cut me a break just this once." etc. They get use to it. I really felt like I brightened the judge's day because towards the end he had a smile on his face. The park ranger tried hitting me with "the defendant parked in the shady corner where I couldn't see him" and I replied with "force of habit, I love my car." Judge goes "o hey me too."

6.) You pay for your court fees up front. So if you lose the trial, you lose nothing but the plea bargain and your time. I recommend everyone go to trial at least once to learn how the process works just for experience even if you aren't into law. It's valuable life experience.

Tl;dr - If you get a ticket >$200 or points on your license, plead not guilty, go to court, and accept the plea bargain.

That's about it. Lemme know if you guys have any questions. Hope it helps someone.

by Schwaggaccino via reddit

[title-of-her-sex-tape]

100 Questions

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ was tagged by @aim-e-la

1: Is there a boy/girl in your life?

There are a few.  But if you mean a romantic partner, no.

2: Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?

No, because she isn’t sorry.

3: What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”

Um...a cat?

4: What’s something you really want right now?

A vacation lol

5: Are you afraid of falling in love?

No

6: Do you like the beach?

Yes!  But I don’t like sand all over my things.

7: Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?

No.  I ain’t got room for that.

8: What’s the background on your cell?

One of the defaults lol

9: Name the last four beds you were sat on?

Mine, my friend’s, my mom’s, my cousin’s

10: Do you like your phone?

Most days.

11: Honestly, are things going the way you planned?

Not at all.

12: Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?

A girl from a group I’m in.

13: Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler?

Rottweiler

14: Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?

Depends

15: Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?

Zoo.

16: Are you tired?

Always.

17: How long have you known your 1st phone contact?

Alphabetically?  I’ve known him a few years and he’s awesome.

18: Are they a relative?

No

19: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?

I have considered it.  But it’s not a good idea.

20: When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?

A few months ago

21: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?

I might get engaged today, but I’m not ready for a wedding.

22: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Lol no

23: How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?

One

24: Is there a certain quote you live by?

Not really

25: What’s on your mind?

Dread about the future lol

26: Do you have any tattoos?

No

27: What is your favorite color?

Turquoise

28: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?

Pfft ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

29: Who are you texting?

Right now?  Nobody,

30: Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?

Yep

31: Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?

I don’t remember that happening.

32: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?

Yes.

33: Do you think anyone has feelings for you?

Do they have to be positive feelings?

34: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?

Yes.

35: Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?

I hope she gets sores.

36: Were you single on Valentines Day?

Yes.

37: Are you friends with the last person you kissed?

No.

38: What do your friends call you?

Em or Emmy

39: Has anyone upset you in the last week?

I don’t think so.

40: Have you ever cried over a text?

Yes.

41: Where’s your last bruise located?

On my arm, almost definitely

42: What is it from?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

43: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?

Pretty much all the time.  I’d like to leave.

44: Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

My mom

45: Do you have a favourite pair of shoes?

My grey snowboots

46: Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?

No.  My hair just goes in a bun.

47: Would you ever go bald if it was the style?

Maybe.  My hair is a pain in the butt.

48: Do you make supper for your family?

No.

49: Does your bedroom have a door?

Yes.

50: Top 3 web-pages?

Tumblr, Facebook, Youtube

51: Do you know anyone who hates shopping?

Not vehemently.

52: Does anything on your body hurt?

My hip.  Clearly I’m 83.

53: Are goodbyes hard for you?

They can be.

54: What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?

Pink lemonade and that was this afternoon.

55: How is your hair?

A bit past my shoulders, brown, thick and curly.

56: What do you usually do first in the morning?

Check my email.

57: Do you think two people can last forever?

Probably.

58: Think back to January 2007, were you single?

Actually, I don’t think so.

59: Green or purple grapes?

Green

60: When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug?

I have no idea.

61: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?

Yep.

62: When will be the next time you text someone?

Not sure, maybe tomorrow

63: Where will you be 5 hours from now?

Probably asleep, definitely in bed

64: What were you doing at 8 this morning.

Working.

65: This time last year, can you remember who you liked?

I don’t know if I liked anyone.

66: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

A couple.

67: Did you kiss or hug anyone today?

I hugged a friend.

68: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

Fuck work.

69: Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

Did you mean:  my life

70: How many windows are open on your computer?

2

71: How many fingers do you have?

Happily, ten.

72: What is your ringtone?

You know, I don’t even know.  My phone is literally always on vibrate or silent.

73: How old will you be in 5 months?

About 24

74: Where is your Mum right now?

Somewhere in Mexico

75: Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?

Because he emotionally abused and cheated on me.  Also I’m very gay.  But I didn’t know that at the time :p

76: Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?

No.

77: Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?

A couple.

78: Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?

Yep.

79: Is there anyone you know with the name Mike?

Yep.

80: Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?

I can’t remember.

81: How many people have you liked in the past three months?

One.

82: Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?

My guinea pig lol

83: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?

I don’t know if I like anyone.

84: You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

There is no scenario in which I would be able to do this xD

85: If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care?

Yeah, I can’t deal with that.

86: What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?

............I drank a water bottle?

87: Who was your last received call from?

My boss

88: If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?

What? No.

89: What is something you wish you had more of?

Love.

90: Have you ever trusted someone too much?

Maybe.

91: Do you sleep with your window open?

Not if I can avoid it.

92: Do you get along with girls?

Usually.

93: Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?

No.

94: Does sex mean love?

It doesn’t have to.

95: You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

I might explode on her, so yeah.

96: Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?

Yes and let me tell you, it is fun.

97: Did you sleep alone this week?

Yup.

98: Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?

There are a couple of people with that ability.

99: Do you believe in love at first sight?

Not real love.  Maybe infatuation.

100: Who was the last person that you pinky promised?

The kid I babysit.

Bonus fact 101:  I get anxiety about tagging people because I think they don’t want to be tagged.  So if you want to fill this out, consider this your invitation :P