#my goodness gracious I will yeet some people

[saltylittlecreature]

Dc20 Homebrew

So, I noticed a distinct lack of homebrew monsters for Dc20. As a result, I have decided to post some of the state blocks I've made for my campaign (If one of my players is reading this, Be GONE and please don't read this, less ye get spoiled). There will also be some flavor text for all of them. So keep this in mind.

GOBLINS

Goblin tactics: Due to them often being the most acceptable humanoids to do weird genetic and magic experiments on, they have a lot of weird neashes. However, they are shockingly  adaptable as a result. Some goblins develop new features in a matter of weeks if the pressure is great enough (And they survive said presser). So, they often try to work together and play off one another. “A goblin alone is a goblin who’s boned” is a saying of theirs that sums up their mentality well enough. 

Goblin Loot: Although you can find the normal loot of gear and clothes, if you’re willing to ignore the moral implications of chopping up a sentient creature, there’s plenty you can do with them. For example, their body parts and organs can replace any alchemy ingredient that would be from another humanoid, along with fermenting them you can get some special properties. Like the heart added to a healing potion and enhances it, their bones can be used to help make buffs last longer, the stomach and intestines can lengthen the effect of the ingredients, the brain can even help increase manna reserves. All this, with the catch that all goblins have become slightly poisonous to eat, which can cause hallucinations if eaten in large amounts. Although, others can cook up goblin meat in a grill to craft a delectable goblin flayed stack, tasting like steak mixed with parsley and pork. This is also the excuse of why some countries are classified as plants (Mostly so they can still be harvested). Other goblins have more specialized objects though.

State blocks are listed below.

Goblin (Small)

3 HP | 5 PD | 0 MD | 5 MS

 Mig 0 | Agi 4 | Int -1 | Cha 0

4 Space Jump

Actions: 2

•(1) battle scratch: The goblin chooses a target and can deal +1 extra damage to.

•(1) Claw: +3 to hit (deals 1 slashing damage)

•(1) Acid bite: deal 2 acid damage when biting people (Range of 1 squats)

•(2) run away:  4 spaces away, but all damage dealt to you is doubled.

•(2) Gracious gratitude: They have advantage on dodging attacks directed at it, by giving rolling Agility to use another nearby Parachute Goblin as a meat shield (A Agility check is made on their part, a 10 or higher and they split the damage with the goblin they pulled in front of them).

Cannonball Goblin (Small)

Goblins are strange beings often experimented on in the early days, with these goblins being known to produce an armadillo-like shell along their back. These plates give it extra natural armor and can be used as a bowl if scalped off of them. Alongside that, their interior gas bladder can act as a large-term gas grenade, alongside that gas being able to adapt to any element.  Meaning they can be repurposed with fire, frost, electric, poison, holy/unholy, and if you have the right additives, good old-fashioned suffocation damage. Without these additives, these organs act as grenades that deal force damage.

4 HP | 10 PD | 0 MD | 5 MS

 Mig 0 | Agi 4 | Int -1 | Cha 0

4 Space Jump

Actions: 3

•(0) Flammable cargo: they take double damage from fire, and will explode 1 tile around this goblin’s surrounding  it, dealing 3 force damage.

•(1) battle yelp: The goblin chooses a target and can deal +1 extra damage to that creature when they’re thrown at that creature.

•(1) Claw: +2 to hit (deals 1 slashing damage)

•(1) Acid bite: deal 2 acid damage when biting people (Range of 1 squats)

•(1) ball form: this form allows them to go from a medium to a small creature. Able to roll 8 squats per turn, and receive a +5 to their PD. They can’t attack in this form, but can exit it using an action.

•(1) yeet:  They can immediately shift into ball form, and be picked up and thrown by another creature ( 5+Might spaces away,). If it hits a player, it deals 2 blunt damage.

•(2) Gracious gratitude: They have advantage on dodging attacks directed at it, by giving rolling Agility to use another nearby Parachute Goblin as a meat shield (A Agility check is made on their part, a 10 or higher and they split the damage with the goblin they pulled in front of them).

Extremely Bloodied actions

•(0) bomb body: They can choose to explode, dealing 1 force damage to those one space away from them.

Gunpowder Goblin (Small)

Regular goblins armed with the power of gunpowder and explosives. Often developing after the goblins find explosive materials, often signified by a period of explosions.

3 HP | 5 PD | 0 MD | 5 MS

 Mig 0 | Agi 4 | Int -1 | Cha 0

5 Space Jump

Actions: 2

•(0) Flammable cargo: they take double damage from fire, and will explode all surrounding tiles around it, dealing 3 force damage.

•(1) battle scratch: The goblin chooses a target and can deal +1 extra damage to.

•(1) Claw: +3 to hit (deals 1 slashing damage)

•(1) Acid bite: deal 2 acid damage when biting people (Range of 1 squats)

•(2) run toward the danger:  12 spaces towards any hostile target.

•(2) Gunpowder lads: 3 times a day, these goblins can have the ability to either throw an explosive 2+might spaces away from them, or give a willing creature that ability to use once. The explosive will deal 2 force damage

•(2) Gracious gratitude: They have advantage on dodging attacks directed at it, by giving rolling Agility to use another nearby Parachute Goblin as a meat shield (A Agility check is made on their part, a 10 or higher and they split the damage with the goblin they pulled in front of them).

Parachute Goblin.(Small)

Goblins who've gotten an idea of how to fall slower without using spells. This has caused them to be fairly reliable for harvesting cloth, or the average goblin loot.

3 HP | 5 PD | 0 MD | 5 MS

 Mig 0 | Agi 4 | Int -1 | Cha 0

4 Space Jump

Actions: 2

•(1) battle scratch: The goblin chooses a target and can deal +1 extra damage to.

•(1) Claw: +3 to hit (deals 1 slashing damage)

•(1) Acid bite: deal 2 acid damage when biting people (Range of 1 squats)

•(1) Viva la Parachute:  They can be picked up and thrown by another creature ( 6+Might spaces away, or a catapult, or being launched out of a cannon at the cost of 1 force damage). They glide in the direction of where they were launched, veering off if there is wind or some other factor. They could end up in an optimal position, but are more likely to be blown off into the ocean or caught in a tree.

Bloody effect

•(2) Gracious gratitude: They have advantage on dodging attacks directed at it, by giving rolling Agility to use another nearby Parachute Goblin as a meat shield (A Agility check is made on their part, a 10 or higher and they split the damage with the goblin they pulled in front of them).

Windcaller Goblin.(Small)

Traditional roles in the goblin societies. They’re experts in their magics and very much seen as helpful for keeping certain meats and materials cold and assisting in hunting. Their bones seem to have bits of that magic within them, their eyes and finger bones specifically. Able to even keep potions longer.

3 HP | 5 PD | 0 MD | 5 MS

 Mig 0 | Agi 4 | Int -1 | Cha 0

4 Space Jump

Manna points:12

Ammo: 12 crossbow bolts

Actions: 3

•(1) battle scratch: The goblin chooses a target and can deal +1 extra damage to.

•(1) Claw: +3 to hit (deals 1 slashing damage)

1) Acid bite: deal 2 acid damage when biting people (Range of 1 squats)

•(•(1) Crossbow: The windcaller can fire a cross bolt out of their crossbow for 12 squares, dealing 3 piercing damage.

•(2) run away:  6 spaces away, but all damage dealt to you is doubled.

•(2) Gracious gratitude: They have advantage on dodging attacks directed at it, by giving rolling Agility to use another nearby Parachute Goblin as a meat shield (A Agility check is made on their part, a 10 or higher and they split the damage with the goblin they pulled in front of them).

Magic stuff

•(1) Wind caller: for 1 Ap and 1 MP, the windcaller goblin controls the winds and the direction. If a creature is caught in the gust, they must make an Agility saving throw of 16 or higher. If they fail, they move 4 spaces in a direction of this goblin’s choosing.

•(1) Wind rush: At the cost of 1 Ap and 2 Mp, the windcaller goblin can choose a willing friendly creature (Including themself) to be able to move 2 spaces every movement, until the windcaller’s next turn. This sprint can let creatures run across and over gaps, unless the creature ends its movement on a gap, then they’ll fall through it.

•(1) Wind lift: At the cost of 1 Ap and 3 Mp, this creature can make willing creatures to fly at the cost of concentration on the part of the windcaller.

•(1) Wind arrow: At the cost of 1Ap and 1Mp, The windcaller goblin can add a +1 to a hit. It can spend  1Mp, they can add another +1 to that hit.

Flock Master Goblin (Small)

A traditional role in goblin society, who often to take care of hunting birds and occasionally a keeper of domestic birds. They’re actually known to be rather friendly when out of combat. With them frequently doubling as scouts for their clan

4 HP | 4 PD | 0 MD | 5 MS

 Mig 0 | Agi 4 | Int -1 | Cha 0

4 Space Jump

Stamina: 4

Actions: 3

•(0) FLock tactics: The flock master goblin regain 1 SP when they Hit a Flanked target or one that is

affected by a Condition.

•(1) Maneuver the flock: decrease a target’s PD by -2 at the cost of 1 Sp. Increase this effect by -1 PD at the cost of another 1 Sp.

•(1) battle scratch: The goblin chooses a target and can deal +1 extra damage to.

•(1) Claw: +3 to hit (deals 1 slashing damage).

•(1) Acid bite: deal 2 acid damage when biting people (Range of 1 squats).

•(1) Flock of fellows: Making use of a swarm of birds to attack and defend, Using a flock of birds, this goblin can use the trained flock of birds to do many actions:

• To the skies: At the cost of 1Ap and 1Sp, hover 5 ft off the ground using the flock

•Defend the Flock Master: At the cost of 1Ap and 2Sp, As a reaction, they can demand the flock to defend them. Letting the goblin flock master gain +2 to PD.  Along with dealing 1 piercing damage to those who fail to make a malay hit.

•Wrath of the flock: At the cost of 1Ap and 3Sp, reach 5 squares from the flock master, dealing up to 4 damage, which they can distribute amongst the area as they see fit.

•Regather flock: At the cost of 2 Ap, regain 1 Sp to your stamina pool.

•(2) Gracious gratitude: They have advantage on dodging attacks directed at it, by giving rolling Agility to use another nearby Parachute Goblin as a meat shield (A Agility check is made on their part, a 10 or higher and they split the damage with the goblin they pulled in front of them).

Mineral Juggernaut Goblin (Small)

Goblins who’ve grown massive pillars of ores over their hands and elbows. Often losing some marbles along the way. They are strong and dangerous enough to be considered outcasts by many clans. Others consider them more of a twisted blessing. As for their harvest from them. Their arms make incredible war hammerheads or just supplies of easily enchantable minerals. Alongside their meat and bones have special reinforcing properties that relate to enchanting armor.

8 HP | 7 PD | 0 MD | 5 MS

 Mig +4 | Agi 0 | Int -1 | Cha -1

4 Space Jump

Stamina: 4

Actions: 3

•(0) Earthy gob: When they’re used as a meat shield against piercing or slashing attacks, the goblins have +2 to their physical defense, however, the attacker has an advantage on attacks if they’re using bludgeoning damage.

•(0) Juggernaut: When you score a Heavy Hit or Critical Hit against a creature, or one is scored against you, you regain 1 SP.

•(1) Rage: You can spend 1 AP and 1 SP to enter a Rage for 1 minute. While Raging you gain Resistance to Physical damage but your Physical Defense is decreased by 5. Additionally, you deal an additional +1 damage with all Melee Martial Attacks and have ADV on all Might Checks and Saves.

•(1) battle Rawr: The goblin can rawr to make all nearby goblins have advantage on hits.

•(1) Club hands: Reach of 2 squats, and deals 2 bludgeoning damage

•(1) Acid bite: deal 2 acid damage when biting people (Range of 1 squats)

•(2) run away:  4 spaces away, but all damage dealt to you is doubled.

•(3) Lung attack: at the cost of 3Ap and 1Sp, Any direction in three spaces, the Mineral Juggernaut Goblin can leap towards a target. Dealing 3 damage to anyone they hit along the way.

•(3)Ground pound: At the cost of 3Ap and 1Sp, The Mineral Juggernaut goblin makes a lunge attack, when they land, any creature within 2 squats must make an Agility check of 10 or higher, if they fail, they’re knocked prone and take 3 damage. If they succeed, they can choose whether to take the damage or fall prone.

Pyrotechnik Goblin (Small)

Armed with explosives, fire, and a knack for leaving things in more pieces than they found it. With their landmines are 100% lootable off their bodies. As long as they don’t use them all that is.

4 HP | 5 PD | 8 MD | 5 MS

 Mig 0 | Agi 4 | Int -1 | Cha 0

Mines:10

Actions: 3

•(0) Gracious fire-shield: If they’re used as a meat shield by another creature against a fire or force attack, they’ll take half damage from the fore attack.

•(0) Fiery cargo: they take double damage from fire, and will explode all surrounding tiles around it, dealing 3 Fire damage.

•(1) battle scratch: The goblin chooses a target and can deal +1 extra damage to.

•(1) Claw: +3 to hit (deals 1 slashing damage)

•(1) Acid bite: deal 2 acid damage when biting people (Range of 1 squats)

•(1) Mine work: At the cost of 1Ap and 1 mine, they can do one of the following:

•Through: A  range of 4 spaces, and deal 2 fire damage to whoever they hit

•Bomb bounce: Throw down a mine and use it to bounce up, up to 6 squares, at the cost of taking 1 fire damage.

•Bomb trape: Lay a mine down as a trape, and can remote detonate them from 10 squares away using 1 action point. The exploding mine deals 2 fire damage.

•(2) run away:  4 spaces away, but all damage dealt to you is doubled.

•(2) Gracious gratitude: They have advantage on dodging attacks directed at it, by giving rolling Agility to use another nearby Parachute Goblin as a meat shield (A Agility check is made on their part, a 10 or higher and they split the damage with the goblin they pulled in front of them).

Bloody abilities

•(0) Out for fire and blood: Anyone on fire or being bloody can take extra damage from attacks against Pyromaniacs

•(2) Fire and fear: Using 2 Ap, 1hp and 3 Mines, the pyromaniac goblin can choose to make another creature be treated as if they were bloody.

•(3) Out on their terms: They can choose to explode, dealing 2 fire damage to those 2 spaces away from them. Each mine they have remaining will increase the distance by 1 space. Those who somehow survive it, may gain the attention and become a Scorched Goblin priest after “a bit”.

Earth-shaper Goblin. (Small)

A goblin whose upbringing gave it the advantage of Magicly being able to control stone. Along with being a traditional role in goblin societies. They are known to help with the construction of walls and structures. Their bones are valuable for enhancing rocks and can actually repair anything made of rocks. Along with restoring metals. Any earth-related spells can be cast using these bones instead of manna points. Their staff also has some special properties, mostly if someone uses many with it, they can use the earth goblin’s spells with an extra 1 Mp cost to all spells. This will last for 2 days before it just becomes a regular stick (Unless an earth-shaper goblin refreshes it by holding it for six hours).

4 HP | 8 PD | 0 MD | 5 MS

 Mig 0 | Agi 4 | Int -1 | Cha 0

4 Space Jump

Manna: 7

Actions: 2

•(0) Tasty rock: They can eat ores and rocks to regain health, and for nourishment in general.

•(1) battle scratch: The goblin chooses a target and can deal +1 extra damage to.

•(1) Claw: +3 to hit (deals 1 slashing damage)

•(1) Acid bite: deal 2 acid damage when biting people (Range of 1 squats)

•(1) Earthy wall: At the cost of 1Ap and 2Mp, they can choose a row of five connected spaces to create a wall of earth. Often being used to block off areas, make cover for themselves and allies, or create corners. 

•(1) Earthy bomb piller: At the cost of 1Ap and 2Mp, They can raise a piller of stone that vibrates and has a faint orange glow. After one turn, it explodes dealing 2 bludgeoning damage to anyone in 2 spaces of it. Freeing that space.

•(1) Rock up: At the cost of 1 Ap and 1 Mp, the earth shaper can raise some earth from the ground, and fire a stone up to 12 squats to deal 2 bludgeoning damage.

•(2) run away:  4 spaces away, but all damage dealt to you is doubled.

•(2) Gracious gratitude: They have an advantage on dodging attacks directed at it, by giving rolling Agility to use another nearby Parachute Goblin as a meat shield (A Agility check is made on their part, a 10 or higher and they split the damage with the goblin they pulled in front of them).

Scorched Goblin priest. (Small)

Goblins on the edge of zealotry armed with explosives, fire, and a knack for leaving things in more pieces than they found it. Often the survivors of great burns, they have special abilities based off of what fire god they’re obsessing over (Damon grants their flame the ability to raise corpses lit on fire and treat them like their mines, including making them explode. The one to the “phoenix of destruction” grants them wings and the ability to carpet bomb rows of spaces, and those who follow a certain sun god start throwing fisticuffs and get some stat boats and are more aggressive. These are only some examples). As for what can be harvested by them, it’s some of the more special items you can collect from a humanoid creature. Their bones, when grounded down, can be incredibly useful in replacement for Mp for fire or holy/unholy spells. Alongside some followers of the gods consider their body parts as holy relics. Next is their skin, which when turned to leather can be resistant to holy/unholy damage. Meanwhile, their blood is known to be really good for paints. Regular paintings, they allow for very fire-resistant paint, alongside some using it as war paints that grant its wearer resistance against the fire the blood once produced.

10 HP | 8 PD | 5 MD | 5 MS

 Mig 0 | Agi 4 | Int +1 | Cha +2

Mines:15

Manna points:10

Actions: 4

•(0) Out for fire and blood: Anyone on fire or being bloody can take extra damage from attacks against Pyromaniacs

•(0) fire in the blood: They are immune to fire damage from their own attacks

•(0) Gracious fireshield: If they’re used as a meat shield by another creature against a fire or force attack, they’ll take half damage from the fore attack.

•(0) Fiery cargo: they take double damage from fire, and will explode all surrounding tiles around it, dealing 3 Fire damage.

•(1) Zealot’s scratch: The goblin chooses a target and can deal +2 extra damage to. And enemies who hear it have disadvantage on saves against fire bassed attacks

•(1) Claw: +3 to hit (deals 1 slashing damage)

•(1) Acid bite: deal 2 acid damage when biting people (Range of 1 squats)

•(1) Mine work: At the cost of 1Ap and 1 mine, they can do one of the following:

•Through: A  range of 4 spaces, and deal 2 fire damage to whoever they hit

•Bomb bounce: Throw down a mine and use it to bounce up, up to 6 squares, at the cost of taking 1 fire damage.

•Bomb trape: Lay a mine down as a trape, and can remote detonate them from 10 squares away using 1 action point. The exploding mine deals 2 fire damage.

•Bomb tapper: At the cost of 1Ap and 1 mine, the scorched goblin priest can take 1 damage to cause an explosion around themself for 2 spaces.

•Bomb of faith: At the cost of 1AP, 1 mine, and 2Mp, you can convert you’r fire damage into holy or unholy damage across the field.

•Bomb of taste:At the cost of 1 Ap and 3 Mines, the scorched goblin priest can seemingly drink the innards of the bomb to regain 1Mp.

•(2) Out of the pan:  run 6 spaces into any fire.

•(2) Gracious gratitude: They have advantage on dodging attacks directed at it, by giving rolling Agility to use another nearby Parachute Goblin as a meat shield (A Agility check is made on their part, a 10 or higher and they split the damage with the goblin they pulled in front of them).

Magic options:

•(1) bolt of fire: At the cost of 1Ap and 1Mp, shoot a fire bolt with a rang of 12 spaces, and deals 1 fire damage.

•(2) Fire and fury: At the cost of 2 Ap and 2Mo, in 3 spaces from the scorched goblin priest, all alie deal 1 extra fire damage to their attacks till their next turn. The Scorched goblin priest can keep this effect up, it costs 1Ap and 1Mp to keep it up.

•(3) Ring of fire: at the cost of 3Ap and 4Mp, create a 6 space wall of fire. This is often used to separate individuals. Those who pass through the fire must make an agility save. On a failure, they take 3 fire damage, on a sucksess, they take 1 fire damage. If they end their turn in a fire space, the creature takes 4 fire damage. This effect ends at the end of the scorch goblin priest’s next turn, unless they spend another 3Mp and 1Ap to keep up the effect. To increase the wall by 1 space, they must sacrifice +1Mp, this is also put on the cost of maintaining the wall.

Bloody abilities

•(0) Flesh of fire: Fire begins to escape the skin and scars of the scorched goblin priest, any creature in the same space as the scorched goblin priest will take 2 fire damage. They also may have the face of their god occasionally shift over the flames of their face.

•(1) Bound by flame: Force another creature to make a disadvantage check when near fire.

•(2) Fire and fear: Using 2 Ap, 1hp and 3 Mines, the pyromaniac goblin can choose to make another creature be treated as if they were bloody.

•(3) Out on their terms: They can choose to explode, dealing 2 fire damage to those 2 spaces away from them. Each mine they have remaining will increase the distance by 1 space. No Scorched priest has come back from this.

[strange-nights-of-stone]

Landlords are the scum of the earth. I know see why people dislike them.

[lov3nerdstuff]

I am curious,how did tom propose in the wicked game??❤️❤️

Aah I love this question! 😊 Thank you so much for asking (and sorry for the late response...). But here we go now! For everyone who’s new to my blog, THIS is the original story and it can be found in its entirety on my Masterlist!

Wicked Game: The Proposal

Tom would most definitely not make a big show of it, knowing how uncomfortable it would make you for your personal life to be put on public display like that, so it would happen in a rather private setting.

You two had discussed your opinions on marriage long before, and how either of you wanted to spend the rest of their lives. Unsurprisingly, you had been absolutely on the same page, but then left the topic at that with a smile on both your faces for a while.

People, especially a certain colleague of yours and a very noisy ex-student with odd hair colours (yes, I'm talking about you, Ben and Sky), had been insinuating to both you and Tom that it might finally be time to take the next step. And (not) subtle as they were, Tom and you obviously caught right on to their schemings. But as ever, you let them proceed with their shenanigans. A few magazine cut-outs of pretty wedding gowns here, an arranged romantic dinner there...

So one day, when your two crazy friends were supposed to come over for a dinner of some self-made lasagna once again as they did ever so often, you had a suggestion for Tom. Why not tell the two meddlesome fools that you were, in fact, married already? Just as a joke... Just to see their shocked faces. Tom was quick to agree with a mischievous grin on his face. This was daily business, after all... And you two still hadn't gotten back at Ben for his last practical joke anyway. This was the perfect opportunity.

So as was to be expected, Sky and Ben started making terribly obviously remarks and insinuations soon enough. You'd barely had enough time to flee into the kitchen with the dishes before you couldn't contain the smirks and giggles anymore. When you returned to the living room with new composure, an easy teasing smirk on your lips, and went to stand with the others in front of the large window to finally speak the words of trickery you had been preparing all evening, the room was silent for a while. Both Ben and Sky, entirely shocked.

"You are already married? Without telling us? Seriously?! AGAIN?!?!" Sky gaped an instant later, while Ben seemed too shocked to voice any witty retorts at all. You snorted, and looked at Tom out of the corner of your eyes. He was smiling almost serenely, obviously amused about your friends' hilarious faces too, and yet there was an expression on his own that spoke volumes. Like he knew more than everyone else in the room. You frowned to yourself for a second, but didn't get to dwell on it.

"So you're married? Really?" Ben finally found his voice again, gaze drifting from Tom to you and back. He was doubtful. Rightfully so, after all. Darn it, the man had learned from the years of prank wars between the four of you. Oh well, at least he was capable of learning. You snickered to yourself.

"No." Tom finally had the mercy to say, while his smile broadened to that radiant emblem of joy that still had the power to melt your heart in seconds. "We're not." And before you could melt entirely under his soft touch on the small of you back, he took half a step backwards to face you with that same smile, that same radiance. His eyes, as ever and always, capturing your soul with ease. "But I would like to change that, if you will have me, Y/N."

Again, silence that melted the world away, and you could only stare with parted lips at the man standing before you now. And standing straight he did, and stayed, even as he spoke on. "I am well aware that tradition dictates differently, but I will not kneel before you tonight. Because you don't need a servant, my dear, but you deserve an equal. An equal, a loving friend, and a devoted soul. I would like to spend the rest of my days trying to be that for you, and yet more if I can. If you allow me, I would like to make you mine forever."

Frozen in awe, your frantic heartbeat echoed through your entire being as you watched him delicately draw the smallest object from his pockets, a ring, made entirely of neatly folded paper. You couldn't help the sound between a sob and a chuckle that escaped your lips, as your gaze darted between Tom's eyes, the ring in his palm and the smile on his lips.

"Will you do me this greatest honour, darling, and marry me?" He asked quietly, softly like a brush of sunlight, when your eyes lingered on his own. There was so much hope in them, such love and dedication. You didn't have to think even for a split second.

"Yes! Of course! Always!" The world spilled from your lips like desperate prayers, the relief of their sound more prominent than the air to breathe. Smiling, Tom placed the origami ring in your palm, for it was everything but made to wear. You couldn't have loved it more, couldn't have loved him more. Overwhelmed by a flashflood of emotions, you carefully enclosed the delicate object in your hand, a mere second before practically jumping at Tom for a hug and a kiss that was sure to leave him breathless either way. If there was a highest joy, a deepest love for life itself, you could feel it now. Both of you.

"A ring made of paper? Really, mate?" Ben chuckled, long after he and Sky had given you both their happiest congratulations. You'd been surprised at first, when Sky had suddenly started squealing like a little girl on Christmas morning, that the two of them had still been there in the first place, but by now you were eternally grateful that your two best friends had been there to share this moment with Tom and you. They, too, were your family, after all. And after a long while of hugging and grinning, the overwhelm was slowly making room for unadulterated happiness.

"Yep." Tom replied with a cheeky grin, upon which Ben shook his head with a snort. "I've had the idea for a while now, actually. It, uh..." He let out a nervous chuckle, then gave you an almost apologetic smile. "It's the same piece of paper you placed on my desk when we first met. The one with the quote, the one I didn't know came from you until months later."

"You actually kept that?" Your eyes widened in surprise, heart skipping a beat while your smile however stayed brilliant as it was. "All this time?"

"What can I say?" Tom chuckled, shrugging with the shoulder you weren't leaning into. "I am very attached to everything you have ever given to me. I thought I would have some more time to practice my skill at origami, but well, your little trick on Ben and Sky tonight was too good an opportunity to resist. I do hope though that it didn't turn out too crooked. And needles to say, I will still give you a proper ring in due time."

"It's absolutely perfect, Tom, really. Everything. Exactly as it is." You smiled up at him, then placed a soft kiss on his jawline and finally rested your head back against his shoulder while he simply smiled to himself. Yes, it really was beyond perfect indeed.

_______________

(Bonus:)

"Gods, will you two ever stop being disgustingly adorable?!" Sky groaned exaggeratedly a moment later, as only she could. "You make me want to hurl or yeet myself out the window!"

"Geez, they just got engaged, you heartless creature, let them be sappy for once!" Ben scoffed, as ever, with a smirk playing on his lips. "You're just jealous."

"Jealous? Me?! Who are you kidding, Cumberbatch?" Sky retorted right away, quirking an eyebrow at the man next to her in utmost sass. "That's called projection, my friend."

"Good gracious, when will they just kiss already!" You groaned under your breath, careful so your friends wouldn't hear, then rolled your eyes with a chuckle as you looked up at Tom. "It's been months since Sky graduated, and they're still hopelessly pining for each other. It's not gotten one ounce better over the years, but rather even worse! Wouldn't you say it's about time we start helping them along?"

The grin had spread on Tom's lips even before you had finished your sentence, but when you did, his eyes were sparking with joy and mischief as were yours. "That, my dear, is just what I have been thinking as well."

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Tagging, because it basically turned into a oneshot (oops... 😇😂)

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[nyerus]

Musings about Mu Qing’s Feelings Towards Xie Lian

Since Mu Qing won the “polls” on twitter last night, I thought I’d bully him a bit and publish this pseudo-meta. I had trouble understanding him at first, until it hit me at some point that it’s not entirely impossible that he may have harbored unrequited romantic feelings for Xie Lian--which helped explain a lot of things.

This is super rough since it’s what I tossed out on one of my discord servers, so it may have some typos/etc. And it’s just my personal interpretation, so take that as you will!

MQ probably felt Some Way™ for XL ever since their childhood days, and you see it during book 2 especially when you get to see XianLe trio's happy background. It's easy to fall in love with someone who essentially pulled you out of the dirt, and then continuously protected you from scrutiny by taking it on to themselves. Easier still when that person is someone like XL. For all that MQ b!tches, he didn't actually hate being XL's servant back then. He didn't mind the work, and he definitely was grateful for the opportunity to be so close to XL, all the time. But what he resented was undoubtedly the fact that his status was so much lower than XL's to the point that XL was completely and utterly unattainable (not just romantically, platonically as well). And his frustration and anger over this often presented itself whenever XL did nice things for him. Because it wasn't that MQ didn't appreciate that, but that it further cemented the idea that XL was beyond reach. XL could do as he pleased, as the crown prince, and it was clear he would never see MQ the way MQ wanted to be seen. An equal, on the same playing field.

CONTINUED UNDER THE CUT DUE TO LENGTH:

And thus when XL fell from grace, MQ had mixed feelings. Finally, XL was off that pedestal, but somehow he was even harder to reach than ever. And it hurt MQ to see him that way--frustrated, reckless, and so so so human. Because it forced MQ to confront the nature of his feelings towards XL and it just wasn't something he could do because he himself at the time didn't understand how he felt, or why. So he LEFT.

But he didn't leave out of malicious intent--he needed space to process, and furthermore, he couldn't see XL suffering. "Maybe I can find a way to fix this." Which is why he probably cultivated like crazy to ascend, so he could drag FX and XL up to middle court, and keep them safe and provided for. MQ is not at all in tune with his emotions at this point, though, so it came off all sorts of wrong. And he's also the type of person to be like "the ends do justify the means" which is why his 'betrayal' on the mountain, with the other heavenly officials, happened at all. He could stand up for XL then, but then alienate himself from the others and hurt his chances at being able to help XL in the long run. Or he could just keep his mouth shut for now and find a way to make it up to XL later. (Which is what he tries, with the food he brings after that.) But he doesn't understand that this betrayal is so fundamentally damaging to XL, because XL has only one thing left at all: the notion that friends will stand by you. MQ already damaged this by leaving, but when he betrayed XL on the mountain, that was the final straw. XL's trust and the last shred of hope he had was shattered. That's why XL lashed out so badly (and would do so later at FX), but MQ didn't understand how important it was once again--because he himself isn't that introspective or good with his emotions. But this event cemented itself in MQ's mind forever. It's the one thing he holds against himself the most, even if he doesn't admit it. Because that's when he broke the person he was trying to fix.

MQ definitely tries to get on with his life after this, and he does, but he never lets it go--because he never lets anything go. And when XL ascends, it's finally his chance to do right by him, but he is still repressed as hell and doesn't know how to do that straightforwardly. He camps in the communication array from the MOMENT XL ascends to look out for news about XL. LW even remarks on this like "wow you seem to have a lot of time on your hands--you've been in the array 24/7 lately." It's because, well, he has. He's keeping watch. And the second he gets the info he needs on XL's first assignment, he (and FX) absolutely yeets down there to help because what else is he supposed to do? He's not gonna let a spiritual energy-less XL fend for himself. He still has a sense of duty towards XL, and that massive guilt he's been carrying around all this time. But he's too proud to admit that he wants to help, so he and FX just disguise themselves and do it anyway. MQ is continuously perceptive during this to XL's situation and is equal parts shocked/taken-aback and oddly satisfied. Once again, XL seems so so so far away. Still unreachable, but now differently so.

Which is why he has SUCH a distaste for HC, moreso than FX does, because HC has managed to weasel his way into XL's life and make himself a somewhat permanent fixture. That's what MQ wanted to be, and was never able to achieve, so “how the hell did HC do that in a matter of days?!” But it becomes clear to MQ, especially around book 3, that HC has already "won" so to speak. (And as an aside--MQ was genuinely upset at the Battle of the Lanterns not because XL won, but because it was such an overt romantic gesture from HC and he knew it. FX was really chill about it because he didn't realize that and also didn't really care. But XL notices that MQ's expression was very dark and unreadable at the time, and it's easy to see why.) When MQ taunts HC at the end of book 3, it's INCREDIBLY revealing. Because he accuses HC of a lot, and a lot of it is straight-up projection too. Which HC immediately recognizes and throws back at him. HC has also probably known from a very very long time, too, because he would know desire for XL when he sees it, better than anyone. (Not to mention the bad blood between HC and MQ ontop of all this! Big RIP there.)

But MQ is, if anything, at least a gracious loser. In a way. In book 5 he admits that he finds XL spectacular, and that he would like to try to be friends from thereon. FX and XL are almost baffled by this because it feels unspoken that they already were, but to me, it always felt like MQ was purposefully re-defining their relationship for himself. Which is a healthy step forward! And by the end of the Ghost King's Birthday extra, he understands that Hualian are a paired set and while it still annoys him, he's coming to terms with it. He's one of the few people that really get even a fraction of Hualian's love for each other, because he knows what it feels like to love XL.

*Keep in mind that these are just my personal musings based on how I chose to interpret things. None of this is confirmed, just fun to consider! This is less a straight-up MQ meta and focused particularly on his feelings towards XL, so I’ve left a lot of things about his characterization out as well. He’s a complicated and interesting character and that would take a whole ‘nother post, whew!

Thank you for reading if you’ve made it this far!~ (*¯ ³¯*)♡

[aceofspadegrass]

Okay hear mean out,so Niragi has A lynx right?. So let's just say that Catra here is pregnant with little baby Bobcats inside of her,and well..she's sitting on Niragi and Dori's Bedroom floor with fanta laying right next to her..and the she goes into labour.

Of course Niragi would freak out,Dori ran outside to call for Ann and Tatta with Henry in the medical room,Aguni helps Catra,guiding her to the medical room where Dori,Ann and Tatta are.

Niragi would storm out of the room,worrying about Catra as Fanta just runs beside him with his fedora hat on. And when they get to the door of the Medical room,Aguni I'd now aloud to be in there,nor Dori and Niragi. Fanta doesn't want to go in there too. Niragi starts panicking,so Dori Lifts up Fanta and puts him right in front of Niragi's face as fanta happily lick Niragi's face so he would calm down.

Eventually Last boss and Cabot are there,waiting outside. Both of them want to see the baby Bobcats,Meanwhile Ann,Tatta and Henry are in there. Ann and Tatta too focus getting the babies out of her,meanwhile Henry helping Catra calm down by scratching her ear.

How about the ending and how many babies would she have?? That's all up to you :D

Catra Becomes a Mother

Characters: Niragi Suguru, Aguni Morizono, Ann Rizuna, Tatta Koudai, Last Boss, Dori Sakurada, Cabot

Genre: Fluff. Catra is giving birth you guys- Baby season-

2.5k words

Hehe, I have finally gotten around to writing this! After the other 'Niragi's exotic pet gives birth' fic, I didn't know how to approach this, since it was the same general prompt, but I think I made it my own! I hope you like it, because I wrote this in one go!

Will the babies be canon in this AU? I'm not entirely sure. Perhaps they'll a one off sort of deal?

The sound of barking is what wakes him up, followed by rather strange noises. Niragi tried to block it out at first, but the barking gets louder, and Niragi throws a pillow at the general area.

“ Shut up you stupid animal-“ Niragi grumbles, but Fanta whines loudly, and not even a few moments later did Niragi suddenly feel a pressure on him. Fanta barks, now much closer to his face, and Niragi shoos the pup off, sitting up. “ What is it-“ He pauses when he hears what sounded like strange panting noises. Immediately he turns on the lamp by his bed to see what was up, only to nearly fall back when he saw his beloved cat on the ground making strange noises, and beneath her by her lower region was something obviously wet. “…. Oh my goodness Catra are you alright-“ Niragi asks, Catra making a sort of strained noise as her body trembles, like it was pushing something out.

Like it was….

“ Oh my goodness gracious.” Niragi mutters, Fanta barking and making Catra growl a little in defence of what obviously seemed to be something really serious, Niragi grabbing Fanta and hushing the small dog. “ You stay quiet, don’t you dare stress out my baby girl.” Niragi threatens the poor dog, Fanta whining but staying quiet. Niragi turns to where Dori, his unintentional roommate slept, who was actually still fast asleep, not that far away from Catra. Niragi glances at his cat in worry, then back at Dori, grabbing a second pillow and yeeting it as hard as he could in Dori’s direction.

“ Wh- Huh? Niragi, what’s going on?” Dori wakes up with a start, looking up at Niragi instantly with confusion and worry in his facial features. Niragi just gestures to Catra, eyes wide and lips pressed so tight it was obvious he was trying not to scream, Dori following his trail of sight. He gasps, eyes widening as well, and he gets up. “ I-I’ll be right back with the nice lady with the shades- Maybe she’ll know something? I think she knows medical stuff, yeah-“ “ Oh goodness not the dissection freak lady-" “ Don’t be mean Niragi! I don’t have the time- Catra doesn’t have the time for this-“ Dori races out of the room, Niragi climbing out of bed and kneeling besides his cat. Catra had been rather picky these past few days, choosing to reside in the oversized hollow cat stump that Last Boss randomly gave him one day, muttering about lynxes preferences and then fucking off like an old man on a stroll.

Niragi’s didn’t have time to think about how weird his closest thing to a friend was, petting Catra’s head and hushing her, eyes softening at the sight of her struggling with something Niragi still didn’t even know what was going on. “ It’s okay Catra, you’re gonna be just fine…..” Niragi mutters, keeping himself from breaking down in concern. Catra would secretly laugh at him, he just knows it. The others would too, and he couldn’t bear to even think about that possibility.

So he keeps calm, Catra making a rather lengthy yowling noise as she spasms once more. It takes far too long for Niragi’s comfort for Sakurada to return, along with Ann and for some odd reason Tatta, who Niragi chooses to ignore.

That is until they try to touch Catra, Niragi himself growling and pushing the two away. “ Don’t fucking touch her!” “ Niragi-“ Ann starts, but Niragi wasn’t having it, far too protective of his cat. Like hell was Ann and Tatta touching her. He didn’t even want them here anyways.

“ Niragi, let them take Catra to the infirmary, Ann can figure out what’s wrong there and be prepared-“ Sakurada begins to attempt to reason, but another strained mewl from Catra only makes Niragi more protective, glaring at the three of them.

“ Just tell me what’s wrong with her here. She’s gonna be just fine, I know it.” His voice was stern, cold even. Tatta looks at him with concern clear on his face, eyebrows furrowed and frowning. Ann sighs, and crosses her arms, eyes trailing over Catra curled in her log, eyes slowly narrowing. “ Niragi.” “ What the fuck do you want." “ We need to take her to the infirmary. We’ll even bring her log. Or somewhere dark.” “ My room is plenty dark! Why do you need somewhere dark anyways?” Ann looks to Niragi silent for a few beats before dropping the bomb, Niragi’s eyes widening and mouth dropping open as she says what Niragi didn’t think he’d ever get to hear directed at him.

“ Niragi, she’s in labour. We need to get her somewhere where she can get medical aid if necessary.”

Niragi was frozen, before he looks at Catra, who was still within what was the beginning of what may have been contractions, Niragi’s eyes trailing over her entire body. How the hell did he not know she was-

“ Move aside. I’ll carry her.” A gruff voice cuts him out of Niragi’s frenzied stare, eyes snapping up to Aguni now standing there, holding a sizable cage with both hands on the handle. “ You three, head to the infirmary and prepare for the babies when they come.”

Ann and Sakurada both nod, and they leave the scene immediately, Tatta muttering something as he stares at the scene before going away to follow the other two. Niragi remains by his cat, Aguni opening the metal door and setting it on the ground. There was a blanket draped over the cage, acting as a safe zone for Catra to be inside and not have to be stared at. Niragi wouldn’t want anyone to look at his cat in such a state anyways, but multiple people have already seen it. “ Help me get her in, Niragi.” Aguni orders, coming over to the soon to be mother, Catra grunting as her body tried again to expel the babies within her. Niragi does as Aguni asks, more trusting of him than the other two blackberry and blueberry muffin fucks that Sakurada brought with him. Once she was safely secure in the cage, Aguni carefully shuts and covers the cage, picking it up by the handle with little strain seen on his face. He wordlessly leaves, Niragi scrambling up and following after Aguni. He didn’t want to be left out of this, especially when it was his pet they were dealing with here.

Fanta barks and obediently follows after, and they all make it to the infirmary, Aguni only being able to briefly walk in. Niragi tried as well, but Ann suddenly came up to the both of them as soon as Aguni set the cage down in the infirmary, which only had a few lamps on, the rest of the room dimmed. She starts to push them out, Niragi snarling and grabbing her arm harshly.

“ Oi! What’s the big fucking idea!?” Niragi snaps, Ann keeping her neutral expression as she pushes the men out of the room.

“ I’m sorry, but I can’t have you do something to stress the mother out-“ “ I’m her owner!” “ And Aguni, while I do not doubt you, I would still rather keep the people in here minimal to avoid stress. Tatta is to remain with me in case something happens, and to act as a second pair of eyes.” She explains briefly, and she steps away, quickly drags out Sakurada out as well, who gets no explanation at that point, but Sakurada had likely already heard it, Ann shutting the door and leaving the three out there. Fanta barks, stepping over to Sakurada and barking, tail slowly wagging. He bends down to pet the dog, Niragi sucking in a breath through his teeth.

He can’t believe it. His Catra, his lynx was going to be a mother. He doesn’t even know how she even became pregnant, or how long she’s been pregnant. Catra didn’t even seem to show that many signs of being pregnant at all, acting as she usually did each day. Niragi was going to see her babies.

Oh goodness, does that mean he’s now the cat dad for a bunch of defenceless babies? He didn’t want the babies to get hurt, especially here. Niragi was glad animals had been held to different standards here in the Borderlands, otherwise he wasn’t sure what he would’ve done. How many babies were there even going to be? He doesn’t know that much about lynxes outside of the basic that has kept Catra alive all this time- Oh fuck, has he been feeding her correctly? What if one of the babies came out wrong because of him? Oh goodness he didn’t think he’d be able to get over that- Would Catra get complications? He’s heard of complications during birth, and even the infirmary didn’t have nearly enough supplies to handle this- The lighthouse bitch wasn’t even a vet-

“ -Hey! Hey Niragi, hey calm down there buddy! You’re breathing too quickly, everything is gonna be just fine- Here, have some Fanta love-“ Sakurada’s voice cuts through tumbling thoughts, and a wet tongue drags along his cheek, Niragi jolting and instinctively moving to push away whatever the hell even touched him. His eyes focus immediately to golden brown fur and a snout, Fanta barking and blepping at him.

“ Don’t worry Niragi, she’ll be fine! Catra is a fighter!” Sakurada chirps with a reassuring and lopsided smile, Niragi grumbling and aggressively trying to scrub away dog slime off his face with a sleeve. Sakurada continues to smile, and Niragi glares at him, Fanta happily licking him again and making Niragi recoil.

He doesn’t know how long they were standing out there. Niragi didn’t want to leave, especially since his cat was in there with the weird organ poker and the dumb puppy Ratatouille thing. He really wanted to burst in there to check on her, whether they even dared to hurt his lynx, but Aguni’s pointed stare at him every so often was the only thing keeping him waiting. Sakurada stayed as well, petting his dog and occasionally ringing up a conversation to keep the other two occupied.

Niragi was checked out of the conversation anyways, and he spots someone slowly ambling down the halls, Niragi immediately tensing and squinting at the approaching figure. “ Oh! Last Boss! Glad you can join us!” Sakurada greets the moment the tattooed man gets closer, Cabot popping out from his hoodie, even though it was firmly resting on his head, making him seem to have just grown a second head. Last Boss says nothing, just staring at all of them. Niragi continues to squint at him, and Last Boss finally settles on staring back, not even blinking. “ The fuck are you doing here.”

“…. I heard Catra was giving birth.” Niragi stares at Last Boss with furrowed eyes. “ How the hell did you find out.” Last Boss’s gaze moves away, and Niragi follows it to Aguni, who looks at the ground instead, his face showing partial guilt. Niragi storms over to Aguni, silently demanding answers. “ I needed something to carry her somehow, so I asked him for help.” The man answers moments after Niragi came over glaring. Niragi groans, rolling his eyes. Of course he did. Well, no matter. Last Boss was at least tolerable in his eyes. He didn’t mind all too much if Last Boss found out, the man didn’t make a big deal out of anything.

He turns back to Last Boss, who hasn’t even moved, Cabot peeking out of his hoodie. Fanta was at Last Boss’ feet, tail wagging and excitedly barking, Sakurada trying (and failing) to gently guide him away. Niragi thought about asking something, and he knew Last Boss would have an answer, since he was the same person that made sure Niragi knew how to keep her comfortable here at the Beach.

“ Hey, any uh…. any clue on the state of the babies? Like…. how many we talking about here- Possibly.” Niragi asks, Last Boss blinking. He says nothing, but Niragi can tell gears were turning in his naked graffiti head. Finally, Last Boss answers, almost like he was just reading off of something from the internet.

“ They’re usually born in small spaces so that the mother can easily protect them, such as logs, stumps, and even holes within the ground, just as long as it can keep them together and warm. Catra may have between two to three, but she may have less or even up to eight.” Sakurada lets out an impressed whistle, Niragi nodding with focused energy in his eyes. “ They’ll be fed for a few months, but can eat meat at a fairly early age, when Catra thinks they’re capable of it.”

“ Okay…. That’s all?” “ Mostly. They’ll stick around for a while too, so be prepared.” Last Boss says, just as the doors open, Tatta sticking his head out with a pleased smile. “ Hey guys, they’re here~” Tatta’s voice was quiet but obviously excited, Niragi pushing his way in without a second thought to get to Catra and see the babies. Ann was by the cage, and she presses a finger up to her lips, the quiet mewls of babies making Niragi feel a sense of warmth and giddiness in his soul. He carefully kneels besides the cage, others following suit at a respectable distance from the newly made mother, Sakurada gasping like a parent seeing their own baby for the first time. “ They’re so mini…..” He mutters, the others all nodding with Sakurada. Catra was busy licking at a small dark coloured bean, the babies all bumbling their way to Catra’s teats to suckle on their needed colostrum. Henry was on her head, the squirrel sitting there and messing with her ear in what seemed to be an enjoyable manner, Catra completely relaxed. Fanta and Cabot were quiet, apparently aware of the quiet the mother needed at the moment as she bonded with her newly crafted children.

“ Congrats, you’re a cat dad to a lot more cats now.” Tatta whispers, Niragi’s eyes completely on the babies. They were so innocent and helpless….. He needed to make sure they were protected, especially when they were his own cat’s children. He has a duty to protect the cuties.

“ How many are there, Ann?” Sakurada asks, and Niragi was already starting to count before Ann spoke a word.

“ Five wonderful babies. Three males, two females.” Ann tells them, her eyes traveling to the cage that acted as a safe cave. “ All healthy, as far as I know. I’m not a veterinarian, so I can’t be positive, but nothing is outwardly off about them. She’ll be fine.” Niragi silently nods, thinking of nothing but of Catra and her new children.

“ I’ll protect you guys, I swear….” Niragi mutters, near inaudible to everyone except himself. “ I’ll protect all of you. With your strong momma on your side, nothing will get you. Nothing.”

[buggaberry]

ML Blog Appreciation Day!!

ohuuhuhoho i heard it was that day,,, and imma comin’ to appreciATE AHAHAHAHAA

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[fandom-sheep]

Eret 11 MAY 21

Cat and DSMP Part 1/1

Cat! Goose!

Goose my beloved.

Eret’s streaming very late for me again. So I’m not staying the whole time.

Hello Elaina. Enjoy Goose.

Fundy! Kinda...

Fundy hearing the donations. LOL.

Fundy enters a stream and it starts to scuffed. Scuffed just follows Fundy wherever he goes.

A wild my beloved on the cube.

The Drista stairs.

Wait what. Why is the tower gone?

I have missed some lore.

Ah... it’s part of the nightmare thing.

Eret offering Fundy housing like a good almost adoptive parent.

Sneeze? OH WOW SNEEZE.

Sounds like Fundy about lost a lung. Good gracious.

The bargaining between these two.

Cat, Handsome, said cube was massive

You know what that works.

It’s hard to keep the audio right for Eret’s stream for my headphones. It’s either too quiet or the loudest my headphones can go and my family can hear it.

On stream explosions. Noice.

Wow youtooz. Not super cool. Permission is usually a good thing.

Eret keeps on sizzling.

Getting dirt for scaffolding. Going old fashioned Minecraft for this.

“Why is the Cube kinda hot” cue Eret losing faith in her chats sanity.

Cube go poof.

Oh. Red stone. That’s dangerous.

I like this song. Oh klahoma. Gorgeous song.

Love joy is such a fun band. I want to make a plushy of the cat.

It’s kinda sad that Eret can’t see themselves the way chat and their little fandom sees them. Most all of us think they look fabulous.

Not Arson. Just bombing. A bit of anarchy by the king.

Demolition. Now there’s the word.

Controlled ish demolition.

Ah I’ve almost saved enough channel points for water. Nice. I’m not going to redeem it I’m just going to keep hoarding the points.

Flame Arrow. Nice.

Eret cleaning up the SMP eye sours.

Watch me attempt to sleep to Eret here in an hour or so, but keep getting distracted.

Explosion time.

Someone get ready to clip it.

Bye Bye Cube. Let’s go.

Gotta get a song that fits the vibe.

Hayloft. Time to go poof.

Turning up my brightness just to watch this explosion in the best way possible.

Still wearing the red dress I see.

I hope the music isn’t too loud to get this part muted.

Drum roll...

Drum roll continues...

Drum roll still going...

THERE GOES THE CUBE!

That was so smooth and good looking!

Overall a very good explosion.

Just a little bit of a hole in the other building.

Twitch Pr-

Poor being’s so confused with his hair. Someone help them.

Twitch bleep.

Everyone attempting to give hair styling advice. Everyone’s trying to help the being.

That bird is majestic. I remember seeing that tiktok.

Animals just decided Eret was the animal whisperer.

Yes! Disney Princess Eret fanart! Someone make it, I shall reblog all of it.

Likes to hug cute animals and cute animals like being hugged by her. Nice.

It’s alright. Names are difficult. I have to like put name tags on people to learn who they are. That or name tags on their space (like on campers bunks and door decs on dorms)

It does feel very February. But I’m very ready for summer because that means I get to do my favorite job.

Hooray. I hit 15k points.

Eret trying to prove to us a ponytail won’t work. Like we aren’t going to hype them up no matter what.

Gotta heart in the chat. All Eret’s chat does is hearts and encourage. It’s a lovely place.

Oh Eret forgot his cat ear sub goal. It’s alright I know I forgot.

Pride is next month. Nice.

Oh. We’re almost halfway already. Why does the world spin so quickly?

We forgot a dirt tower. Whoops.

I would wear Eret merch. I like it when people release merch around Christmas. Then I can ask for it as a gift.

Oh it wasn’t a dirt tower.

Just looking at Elaina’s stream in the stream selection screen it like very cozy.

All the way up the Drista stairs.

Look it’s the museum!

Eret’s got most of the builds around there. The museum. The fortress. Nice.

Some things are too historical to remove. Somethings are historical because they are being removed.

Oh no. L’sandburg.

It’s taking over the summer home.

Ah the lore is coming. It just seemed to be too early.

Hello unofficial ranboo Raiders.

Foolish making the awesome tall thingy!

Foolish’s builds are so neat. I want to watch Foolish’s streams more. Maybe just in the background but I start wanting to delayed liveblog and that requires attention.

Oh the giant portal turned out well. Sorry that was the lady’s foolish stream I watched.

Shulkers. The forbidden mob.

Eret with just a pit in the desert filled with llamas. Bones. And discus.

The mansion has been finished?

Alright is better than bad. It’s alright to be alright.

Lucky being not getting tired. I got the Johnson and Johnson vaccine and I was so so tired. I also had just no appetite.

Eret doing an smp tour. And looking at foolish’s builds.

Flickering the switch on the rainbow beacons.

Eret just knowing where everything is.

Kinoko is super pretty. Just for the aesthetic value of the kingdom I appreciate it.

Yeet. Just defenestrated himself out the window.

Oh? Spectator fly over the smp?

That would be really neat to like. Watch in VR. I think I’ve only used VR maybe twice.

Pretty Rainbow beacons.

The nurse who gave me my vaccine hid the needle from me because I mentioned to her that I was afraid of needles. It wasn’t a big deal at all.

30 minutes till I attempt sleep. Woo.

Goose my beloved. Someone make the gif because I’m not quite sure how to make it.

Oh yeah. Goose in Marvel. I hear MCU and think Minecraft cinematic universe. Not marvel.

Ghibli is so nice. It really romanticize small moments of life.

Yeah the characters are all really supportive in Ghibli movies.

Someone subbed for nine months “that’s enough to make a child” -Eret

That mansion is like a maze. I’m so lost already.

Everyone encouraging Eret and telling her she looks pretty. Good.

Eret needs all the hype and encouragement.

Antarctic empties flag. Yeah it does have a similar color pallet.

Michelle! Hello!

Fortress work. Nice.

Do it. I’ll listen the Eret play other games.

I don’t usually watch game play for non Minecraft games. But I’ll listen to it all.

Hbomb and Eret living in the same city feels like two worlds that shouldn’t meet. But it’s awesome that they have.

TOS means against twitches terms of service. Nice. Glad to finally have an explanation of what that means.

Look at our handsome and pretty streamer. All the hype.

I keep turning down the stream to hear the show my mama has on because I’m curious about what happens.

Yeah. Backseat gaming can be annoying. That’s part of why I share my thoughts here just in case I do start backseat gaming.

Almost to the sub goal. Hooray!

Ooo food.

No no. I see where they are coming from. Eret does give a bit of cat bus vibes. I can’t explain it but the vibes are there.

Creeper causing issues at the fortress.

Ed Sheepran my beloved.

I should draw more ferrets. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe I’ll draw us doing stuffs.

Actually I kinda want to make a little animatic of some heels walking across the screen followed by a hoard of ferrets. I think it’ll look cool. But I need the artistic ability and the ability to not scream making that.

Woop. Ad time. Off to the void of where ever the ads game me.

OH THE NEW VOID LOOKS COOL!

Bread. Flowers. Ted. Crown. And of course Eret.

We V O I D and get our streamer bits.

Hush the chat is V O I D and the occasional emoji or emote.

The void being centered looks good. Maybe that’s just the symmetry speaking but it’s good.

Oh. We hear the being. The being in void mode. And spooky mode.

Chat just starts yelling corpse.

Hydration. I try to stay hydrated. But I fail often if I’m not doing something active.

Tree!

Casually makes and snags tree.

Eret does read chat often. It’s strange. And it is weird how often it ends up being you.

You can tell I’m a tumblr peep. I may say stuff in chat but I’m fully not expecting or wanting to be noticed by the streamer.

Others hitting darkness o’clock and saying goodnight.

It’s sleep to the stream hours y’all. Whoop.

I need to visit the parks out west. I’ve only really seen the eastern US ones. But I have been to the Great Smokey Mountain park which is gorgeous.

Eret thinking of his friends triggers when naming his cat.

Eret’s builds are so casually pretty. Not like Foolish’s which are intricately pretty. Not like Phil’s or Sam’s which are complicated pretty. All pretty. Just different breeds of pretty.

Alrighty. It’s sleepy hours for me. As much as I love Eret I want to read some fanfiction and daydream a bit before I head to sleep.

Have a good rest everyone and may all your coming meals be delicious.

Wait no is it our turn with goose?

OUR TURN WITH GOOSE!

Eret honey that’s the ceiling.

Cat stream. Cat stream.

Sleepy kitty. A cat cam would be good.

Yeah. That happens with cats. Especially strays.

Goose captured the computer mouse.

Goose straight up chose Eret and Elaina.

Goose really just chose not to leave.

Oh my stream connection is acting sad. But I want Goose content.

I want to draw Goose now.

Maybe I’ll do water color for Goose. I know I tried to do that with Boots (Fundy’s cat)

Hopefully there will be some Goose face screenshots I can see. Maybe I can see him well in the Tiktok.

Artists just violently refusing payment. Sounds about right. The MCYT artists just kinda go “yeah give credit and we cool”

Cowboy cat. Nice.

I want to paint Goose in the cowboy hat.

Hype train! That we are zooming.

Bucket sponge?

WATER BUCKET FROM WET SPONGE! Tiktok people giving all the cool info.

Go Goose. Catch the computer mouse and the screen mouse.

Just sitting here at 11:30 at night getting screen shots of Goose for painting purposes.

Goose please. Look at the camera babe.

My phone is dying. And I can’t charge it and type.

Alright the camera is off the cat. The cat is also blocking the screen.

But no cat on camera means I’m getting some sleep. If I do any of the projects I’ve mentioned I’ll let y’all know.

Have a good rest everyone.

[cherripeach]

Chapter 4

Little Match Maker

Summary: Your life motto is “I have the power of god and anime on my side, don’t mess with me,” and you stand by that with your life. No human, magician, or random creature could ever stop your firm belief in it. 

However, getting transported to this world that seemed to turn your already bad luck worse was not what you wanted to be in your life story, but you made the most of it.Making friends, enemies, and disasters, you were in your prime in this world, and so you decided to help as many people as you could flourish, at least what you believed to be.

Prologue 8-10: hurricane katrina more like hurricane tortilla

Chapter Summary: Everyone in this school needs their hearing checked.

Warning:  Curse words, jokes about death, slight violence, fire,

Words: 4.3k

Relationships: developing but future twstxreader

While you normally say “Sleep is for the weak,” this is not what you meant. And honestly you want to be weak compared to the literal 7 minutes of sleep you got. Everything felt off, and it wasn’t like your regular sleep schedule was great anyway.  All you did the entire night was make up scenarios in your head and contemplate both life and exploring the campus more. However, by the time you decided to go find the tallest tower (just to see it dude), all three ghosts were floating above you close to your ceiling. 

You whispered as to not wake up the sleeping cat that needs to stop taking up the bed, “Yo, not cool dude.”

The ghosts just winked at you and proceeded to try and scare the cat out of his slumber by reminding him about cleaning the school, but Grim seemed more like a teenager than you when he responded with a wish of “five more minutes.” 

The ghosts did not find this at all amusing, so they continued and even tried to make a morbid joke:

“Laze about too long and you’ll never wake up!” The smaller one started the joke. 

“Just like us!” And the largest one ended it.

The ghost's appearance frightened the cat causing the little demon to spring from under the covers and frantically run around the room basically accomplishing nothing. The ghosts, however, did not find this appealing and turned to you.

The tallest one spoke to you, “Are you all going to be living here? You’re gonna get pranked.”

Nodding your head, you agreed to the wonderful idea, but with a twist, “See dude I know you wanna prank us, but I would love to help all of you prank others.” You paused for a second and put your hand on your chin. “I’ve never had ghost friends and I really wanna know what you guys can do..” 

Grim was the exact opposite and continued to scream at the ghosts, but you just nodded your head at your brilliant idea and thought of all of your plans that you could get away with ghost friends. 

Right at this moment, the oh so gracious headmaster appeared out of thin air and greeted you, “Good morning, you two. Did you sleep well?”

Grim apparently did not, which peeved you off because you were the one up all night, so you just responded with, “Yeah the best sleep I’ve had since I was conceived…”

You knew the headmaster would not understand sarcasm, but honestly why is he even in your room in the early morning without knocking? The world will never know. And with a small world from him you zoned him out. At least until he mentioned cleaning the Main Street of the Campus. Once he stopped his speech his eyes flew to yours to wait for an answer.

“Sure, headmaster, but what am I supposed to use and where is this “Main Street”??” He never explained anything to you. I mean even if you listen when you try, the man tells you nothing. 

Here he goes trying to not explain anything to you, “I'm counting on you. You have permission to have lunch in the school cafeteria. Take care of your work enthusiastically.” He yeeted out of here just like your world did to you. 

“Ughhh, at least we get lunch…” You sighed into the unknown hoping someone would save you from this.  

“Tsk... No way I'm doing any cleaning. I wanna go to class, and bang! Boom boom boom! Use a bunch of awesome magic.” There was no use speaking to either of the two children of the school. 

“Dude, please, let’s just go and get this over with. Got it?” The cat just muttered in response to your reasoning, and you took that as a sign that he listened and that was the best you were ever gonna get from him. 

You got yourself together and decided that since nothing was gonna go your way, why act like it was. Your ideal belief made you not even look at yourself in a mirror, but just pull up the hood you had on from yesterday and grab some of the cleaning supplies that you found in the dorm. 

You and Grim headed out, and you waved a goodbye at the ghosts and blew a kiss at them because it is for the homies. 

Grim did end up abandoning you for a while to go find some “great tuna” for him to snack on. 

While walking out of the dorm and into the normal path of the school you encountered some odd people, and you actually considered yourself to be odd so these people were like the weirdest of the weirdos. One was a really jacked up on steroids furry, another was this pair of twins who everyone was avoiding and had weird anime twin hair which was the same hairstyle but parted differently or something, and you even saw an adorable boy, which is not considered weird, but he looked incredibly peeved at the rocks that he was kicking. Their outfits were all similar, but you did notice that there was a slight color difference between all the different people. 

Since life is not going your way and probably never will, you decided that the next person who you saw that you did not already see before you would ask directions from. The one problem with that is that the dude had a very sus vibe. He had on like a hat that was from like the 1800’s, but he did not have any other terrible features. He was rather breathtaking if you thought about it, but his eyes moved all around the crowd walking to get somewhere, and that gave you enough stalker vibes. His blonde hair in the bob was very cute, and maybe a little bit attractive, but his fashion sense was eccentric. Honestly, he was just eccentric. However, weighing your options, he is mostly approachable, and besides who isn't afraid of everyone they meet. 

You strided up to the man with as much confidence as a supermodel has. The male’s eyes swiftly darted to your form once you changed directions just making everything more awkward. Confusion spread through his face, but you kept on walking and stumbling and even lifted your hand for a small wave to him. The male did observe you just like you did him and found that you would not be a threat at least not that much and allowed your approach. 

Once you were within a distance where both of you could hear one another, he spoke, “Well, well, well, is there anyway I can help you, canard?” The man gently smiled at you, and damn you were hooked, but the man totally watched you stumble around wondering who to turn to, so this was just a cute situation. 

“Um, you see, I don’t know where the main street is..Could you help me?”  This man was actually making you nervous, but you put it all to how charming he was. 

“Oui, who would I be to not help un petit canard.” His hand went to his chest, and while with the headmaster and most of the others on this campus would piss you off if they did it, the male in front of you actually made you feel a little reassured. 

Your mind paused for a second to finally realize, ‘It’s been five minutes and I already have a slight crush… wow.’ 

The male waved his hand to motion for you to follow him as his grin just grew and he turned around, and you in your confused glory stumbled after him. He slowed his footsteps to allow you to both match him and keep up with him in the long run, and he began to make conversation with you.

“You must be the magicless student, oui?” As gentle as he looked when he lightly smiled and closed his eyes, he also had an air of danger floating around him. You wanted to trust him but also didn’t. 

“Yeah, dude...don’t know why I’m here either, and I can’t leave. Nothing seems to be going my way.” You shook your head and sighed deeply, but you were just happy that someone would listen.

“Poor petit canard, it would be my honor to help you with any of your problems,” he’s really good. He’s probably the best person you have met since the sun because he actually seems a little nice. 

“Thanks a lot. With all of the assholes and weirdos here, I didn’t exactly expect someone who would care about me.” You placed your gaze on the ground where you watched your feet and his walk while your lips turned up slightly, but you did think that this guy was weird enough for making you feel embarrassed and his whole odd vibe.

“It is no problem, petit canard, but I would recommend giving a chance to the people here,” he halted his speech and steps for a second just to land in front of you and to turn around causing his gaze to meet yours while you slowly looked up at him, “No one is like they seem.” His eyes did those weird anime think where a light shines over them for a second. 

“What?” Your mouth gaped open in visible shock at the man before you. 

At least until he twisted back around with the wind giving his jacket a flutter, “We have arrived, canard. Do have a nice day, oui?”  With a bow of his hat, the blonde hair man was out. 

“You know what, that is probably gonna be the most normal person I will meet at this school,” you thought for a second recognizing that you forgot about the dude from last night, “either him or the silver haired sleeping beauty.” You chuckled to yourself. 

You began to scan your surroundings which consisted of seven different statues and a long path leading up to the school one way and out the gate another. Many trees also decorated the area outside the path. 

And from this you determined that you would need the broom and washcloth you brought, but a rake would be appreciated. 

You groaned out to announce your displeasure and got started on cleaning up the place, and that is when Grim showed up to begin complaining that he had to pay for the tuna and that no one would give it to him for free. He even said that someone even threatened to kick him out of the school, but that did not surprise you. You just threw a cloth at him and told him to go scrub the statues.

He did his job for a good ten minutes without mouthing off at any of the students walking on the street getting ready to start school, but he did turn to you while washing the statue of the Queen of Hearts from the Disney movie Alice in Wonderland. 

“Hey, servant,” the cat peered up at you with big doe eyes, “What’s with all these statues? All seven of them look pretty scary,” the cat gazed up at the statue he was cleaning again, “This granny looks especially snobby.”

You just giggled at his statement, but a male with red orange hair and a red heart on his face came up to you too, and he was puzzled, “You don’t know about the Queen of Hearts?”

Grim gawked back at the male, “Queen of Hearts? Is she important?” 

“Grim, no one is important unless someone makes them important, so logically speaking no.” You just had to cut in with an idea about society that you just thought about.

The male with the heart on his cheek had something to say and started going on and on about how amazing she was as a queen. You just ignored him and went to work because you have heard of her and all that she was before, but Grim was captivated and started basically worshiping the words that came out of the male’s mouth. Grim even added in comments about the Queen here and there, but then Grim asked, “By the way, who are you?” and that caught your attention from cleaning. 

“I’m Ace, a fresh-faced first year. Nice to meetcha~” Ace winked at the two of you.

But you had to open your mouth, “Who calls themselves a fresh-faced first year. That’s basically saying you're fresh meat.” You raised an eyebrow while asserting your belief. 

However, neither of the boys listened to you. 

“I’m Grim, a genius who’ll become the greatest magician.” Grim just had to introduce himself; he even introduced you and called you both a dimwit and a servant which did not surprise you. 

Ace turned to you and in your eyes tried to compliment you, “You’ve got an odd sounding name.” 

“Thanks I guess, dude, but why are you here?” He had to be leaving for class soon, but he was just sticking to you two. His introduction confused you about his personality because after all the people you have met only three of them had been slightly nice and even then, all of them were odd. This guy had to be hiding something, and you think it might be something to do about his personality. 

“What are you talking about? I’m just here to help you two. I don’t mean to cause any trouble.” Ace responded.

‘So he wanted to cause trouble,’ was your immediate reaction. 

Ace then turned back to Grim who started a conversation about Scar from Lion King. All that was in your head was “Be Prepared” the villain song in the movie while you watched the two discuss who Scar was and what happened in the movie. But Ace never mentions his death or how he betrayed those who helped him. From your understanding, there was a serious misconception about villains at this school. Now that you thought about it they must clearly respect and reverence them because they had statues of some of the worst Disney villains. And throughout your debate, those two started to talk about Ursula from The Little Mermaid, but Ace referred to her as “The Sea Witch.” Nothing was similar really from the interpretations of the story in your world or this other world’s interpretations. 

While you will admit that some of the villains were not as bad as they could have been and that they were not total villains because most times the main characters and heroes of the stories were total pretentious assholes who knew nothing of ruling a kingdom or anything, romanticizing villains is a little wrong. Moana, though, an absolute queen. Cinderella also deserved better. 

The two visited every statue from Jafar from Aladdin to the ‘Evil Queen’ which they called the ‘Beautiful Queen’ from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs to Hades from Hercules but the entire storyline was off because in greek mythology Hades wasn’t even the villain behind the story but whatever. The two finally gathered their stuff next to Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty, so you followed the two along because this was the last one and you needed to observe Ace, “the fresh meat,” more. 

Grim asked the question about the statue, “And the last one, with the horns?” 

Ace went on about her too, “That is the Witch of Thorns from the Magic Mountains. Noble and elegant, even within the Seven, she is top class in magic and curses! She can summon lightning and storms, cover an entire country in thorns, her magic is on a whole other level. There was even a time she transformed into a huge dragon!” You just nodded along at his speech. 

Grim even contributed again, “Ooh! A dragon! All monsters look up to them!” Grim looked so overjoyed for having someone to tell him about the villains; he’s just your idiotic cat sibling. 

“They’re all so cool!”  There had to be a moment where Ace showed his true self but he hasn’t done it, “Unlike a certain raccoon.” And there it is!!

Grim backed up in alarm from the kid and switched his gaze quickly to you in panic. He was an incredibly trusting cat which made you feel pretty bad for him.

Ace ignored the communication between you and Grim and like a proper villain presented his monologue to you two, “Pfft... Ahaha! I can't bear it anymore! Ahahahaha! Aren't you the guys who went crazy at the entrance ceremony? You were summoned by the Dark Mirror even though you can't use magic, and you, a monster, weren't called but still trespassed. Yeahhh, it took everything I had not to lose it at the ceremony.” His laugh sounded like a fart trying to come out but was halted by the butt cheek and the fabric of the pants so really not cute. 

Grim shifted his attention back to “fresh meat” and gawked at him, “Whaaa!? You're a rude one!”

Since you wanted to find more about this kid before you beat him up, you gave him a second to explain himself.

“And now you aren't allowed in and got regulated to be a janitor? Haha, how lame.” Is this kid kidding? Grim even agrees with you after his noises of distress and disagreement with the kid, but the kid kept going, “On top of that, you don't even know about the Great Seven. How ignorant can you be? As I recommend you go back to kindergarten before coming to Night Raven College.”

You just shook your head at the boy ready to step in once he finished his little speech.

“I thought I'd just mess with you a bit, but you really blew my expectations away. Unlike you two, I actually have classes to attend. Keep this school squeaky clean, you two~” The boy whistled at you two and waved at you and walked away.

At least he tried to before his collar was in your hands and your eyes were right in front of yours. 

“Y’know I’ll give you some praise because you are the most pretentious fuck I have met at this school,” You let go of his collar and knocked his feet a little to make sure he would fall to the ground, “ And what are you like five. All of your jabs at us are literally terrible, but that’s not even the worst of it. You must be so bored of your life or have such a small dick that making fun of people supposedly weaker than you, just gets you off. I never get people like you who belittle and tease others. Is it fun kid, huh, to make jokes to basically another kid when you just know how they are gonna react? ”

Ace sat on the ground stunned by your comments acting like a helpless child who just got yelled at with his red flushed cheeks and his balled up hands by his side. At that point, you realized that there was a crowd gathering around your little spat, and Ace’s cheeks and embarrassment was probably due to getting yelled at by the magicless student who became the janitor. 

However, Grim did not process that you were already lecturing the kid before he blew flames at the two of you.

“Are you kidding me GriM? I’m right here!” Normally fight or flight would respond to his action, but yours was not working causing you to stay in the same spot while some of the flames got closer. 

The kid was running away screaming stuff like “Nope not today” and “why,” but after he stood all the way up and walked a couple footsteps his collar was in your hand again. 

“Not happening, pipsqueak. You’re gonna pay for your actions.” You pulled him around to make sure he could hear you and see the mess of people running around behind you and the cat still trying to blow fire at the two of you.

Grim even started yelling, only making the flames worse and more rowdy, “It's what you get for making fun of me! I'm gonna light up that fire-head of yours!” Grim even smirked to make his point and pointed at the boy still in your hold.

This immature boy was not able to read the atmosphere and stood up to the fire breathing cat, “Fire-head, huh?Heeeeee. You've really got guts picking a fight with me. You too. I'll turn you into a puffy, little toy-poodle!” 

You slapped him on the back of the head for that causing his head to go forward and his hand to grab where you slapped. But Grim kept on shooting fire.

At least until Ace managed to get out of your hold by twisting and wiggling so much. Once he left he ran over to join in Grim and have a fight, and it just seemed like these past couple of days nothing would go your way. 

Ace took out the pen thing you saw yesterday and pointed in directly with a light coming out of it at Grim causing wind to go everywhere blowing the fire. More people also began to crowd around the two and murmurs and gossip broke out everywhere, but all you could pay attention to was stopping them. 

That didn't work out. 

The two kept on spitting insults at each other and magic, and once you got close you grabbed Ace by the ear pulling on it causing him to slightly turn from the fight. You tried to lecture Ace in that moment to tell him to stop, but Ace was far too focused on the cat in front of him and ended up grabbing your wrist, throwing it off his ear, and then shoving you right on your hands and butt into the cement where some flames were. 

All in all basically getting roasted alive was a solid 3/10, but you are sure some people got pictures and videos of it. Since you did get out of those flames in a split second and ‘Stop, Drop, and Roll’ which surprisingly worked, all you ended up with is some burns on the palm of your hands and the back of your calves. And since everything was pissing you off today you also found out that the cult-like cloak you were wearing is fireproof.

Grim got more enraged the more the fight went on and finally had enough, “Eat that!” 

A great amount of flames appeared darted toward Ace, but Ace had other plans, “And I just change my trajectory with the wind like… that!” The wind sent the flames hurtling to the statue of the Queen of Hearts causing the statue to be engulfed into flames.

And your only thought was, ‘This school needs to offer a physics class even a basic math class if all these magicians are as bad at predicting as this one.’

The two children were panicking and running in circles with their stupid tails between their legs screaming at each other and blaming each other. You just wanted to get this over with because you knew that you would be in trouble even though you can’t control anyone or threaten anyone because you are magicless. Grim is also a wild cat, and cats never listen. 

Right as Ace tried to reason with Grim the headmaster showed up, but that only caused two to overreact in fear of him and run away from him and the problem both of them caused. 

Neither escaped of course because they both got whipped which made you think what were the laws regarding teachers and children because you know that whips mostly were not allowed at school and not to be used on children. 

Nevermind that because the lovely headmaster with his gorgeous top hap and magnificent cape started another lecture, “This is my Lash of Love! It'll be another hundred years before you can outrun me!I told you just yesterday to 'not cause any trouble', didn't I?Then you go and char the statues of the Great Seven!I very much would like to see you expelled.” 

You could not wait to be let out and with a blank voice you let out, “Honestly, please let me out. I’ll take the streets over this.” 

No one heard you or at least no one seemed to. 

“Assholes,'' you grit your teeth ready to bear with another problem the headmaster gave you. 

Ace did not agree with you and screeched out, “Wait! Not that!” He whined like the baby he is. 

The headmaster could only make your day worse by turning to you who by the way is still covered in burns and had a look of pure defeat on your face and address, “And you, this is not how you supervise Grim.”

You just exhaled and promised to yourself that while getting expelled and kicked out of this school sounded great, living on the streets did not (Even if it did for the tiniest second there), so you nodded and smiled as best as your strained face from anger could take. 

The headmaster thought that was enough and turned to Ace asking, “My goodness.. You, what's your grade and name?”

Ace actually replied, most likely in fear, “Ace Trappola, first year.”

The gracious headmaster was pleased, “Then, Trappola, Grim, and you as punishment, I order the three of you to wash 100 window around campus!” He bounced his head probably affirming to himself that he chose the proper punishment after he pointed at you. 

Grim did not agree, “Nyaaa!? It's all cause this joker was making fun of us!”

Ace also did not, “Eeeh!? Me too?”

You silently sympathized with the headmaster for having to deal with so many children because he could only respond undoubtedly, “Most definitely! After school, meet in the cafeteria. Understood?” 

The two children groaned in disapproval but went with it.

And Grim stated something that you couldn't agree more with,“Nothing but misery since yesterday!!”

Your only response to the entire situation was to fall onto the cement again and try not to cry because a bad bitch doesn’t. 

~~~~~

Hahaha...I can't with myself. I tried to make this short, but it's the longest one so far. Thank you so much for reading everything, and I hope you have a great day!

[chocolate-parfait]

Okay, I just got myself a tumblr account to ask for this Ikémen Vampire scenario, because the world needs this. Can you do one where the MC questions Mozart about his song "Leck mich im Arsch" (Ger. for "Kiss my ass" (lit. Lick me in the ass). I just can't imagine IkéVamp Mozart composing something like this so please be creative and do something funny. The song really exists btw. Real Mozart was a savage.

Started off serious, became trashy insults somewhere in the middle

Mozart being asked about his song “Kiss my ass” - ikevamp scenario (TW; mature language)

Thoughts are in italic

Bold AND italic is just me highlighting something

"Ugh, it hasn't even been a week and Sebastian is already burying me with work!" You mentally whined as you stretched your arms over your head. "Collect the sheets, wash the dishes, polish the shoes and wash the tablecloths..." each chore you listed made one of your fingers go up, and as the count reached ten you let out a deep sigh. You weren't even nowhere to be finished. "...ain't mama raise no weak bitch. Better get done with this before Sebastian yeets me into oblivion", you quietly spoke to yourself before going back to your full time slavery.

A lonely figure in the long corridor, you walked slightly bent forward for both the heaviness of the basket you were carrying and the mental and physical tiredness of your untrained body. As you took a turn at the end of the hallway, the lone sound of your footsteps found a companion. A sweet melody, a familiar one you had heard as a child, drifted through the air and waltzed its way to your ears. About ten meters from you there was the music room; you remembered it from Sebastian's tour of the house, but mostly because of the ever-so-friendly white haired composer that threatened you to stay kilometers away from him unless you wanted to be smacked to outer space. You had every intention of listening to him and avoiding any type of unnecessary contact with the man, but right now an irresistible curiosity pushed your feet to the prohibited door.

Was he composing something? Would he let you listen to one piece of his or play a modern-time song if you begged hard enough? somebody come git her she's dancing like a stripper If getting on your knees and throwing the last ounce of dignity you still had out of the window meant getting to witness Mozart's genius with your own two eyes --an impassable opportunity, too taunting to be ignored-- then someone better had to open up their purse and buy you some protective knee pads, 'cause ya girl was ready to crawl all around the mansion to get that P iano performance.

Inhaling some well needed air to get oxygen to your already malfunctioning brain in preparation of what was to come, you left the heavy basket full of dirty laundry and responsibilities behind and gently pushed the door open while peeking in with your head through the opening. As soon as he felt a pair of eyes on his back, Mozart abruptly stopped his magical fingers to turn to you, face contorted in an annoyed grimace.

Mozart: what.

MC: I- uh- uhm,,,, uhhhh- I... um

"Great job, chicken brain. The hero I absolutely didn't need right now"

Mozart: "I- uh- uhm,,,, uhhhh- I... um"...? I understand 15 languages and troglodyte isn't one of them. If you have nothing to say then leave.

MC: wait I-

Mozart: you didn't even knock. Are you really that impolite or did you grow up in a cave or something?

It hadn't even been 30 seconds and you had already been owned so hard not even a burnt Thanksgiving turkey could compare to this level of roasting, but there was no way in hell you were going to give up just for some edgy frail-looking man spouting some insults at you. You could probably smash him to the ground if you wanted, maybe... actually it would probably end with him snapping your neck like a twig, but at least the will to punch him was there.

You were ready to talk back with a savage comeback of your own, but before your mind could send the input to your mouth, his curt tone cut you off.

Mozart: Staring at people is a normal thing for future people? Makes me pity mankind. Get out.

...as kind as ever, the pianist! Kinda makes you want to kick him in the shins but you kept that thought to yourself.

As you were about to leave, two pair of footsteps got nearer to you from the corridor. Turning your head to the side you saw the clown duo making its way to the room, and you knew they were the ones who could provide you with the perfect chance to either succeed in your intent or bring you to a violent death.

Arthur: Oh my, what's happening in here? Is our wolfie making a move on our lovely MC before I can ask her out on a date myself?

Dazai: Good evening, Toshiko-san! Is something the matter?

And if this was your only opportunity, then you were going to use all your cards from the beginning. Mustering the best puppy eyes you could manage, you turned to the couple, and with a slightly whiny tone that resembled a half plea for help, you said:

MC: Ah, Arthur, Dazai-san! I just wanted to ask Mozart if I could listen to him playing the piano but he did nothing but be mean to me the whole time! I didn't even speak a word and he's already told me to leave twice~

Mozart: Which you didn't. So now I'm telling you a third time, leck mich. (=bug off)

Catching your subtle hint and feeling in the right mood to mess with the other fellow vampire, they decided to fan the flames of his annoyance by bringing in the discussion that one thing they knew he abhorred talking about.

Arthur: "Leck mich"? Why, Wolfie, you surprise me! You really haven't changed from your youth days, haven't you? My dear MC, did you know that the genius pianist here wrote a song called "Leck mich im Arsch"? A song about licking bums!

Dazai: Buttholes!

Arthur: Arseholes!

Dazai: Bungholes!

This was NOT the type of conversation you would've expected to have in a house full of historically important figures of such caliber, and foremost you were so close to bursting into a raging fit of laughter that only the scary aura of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart was preventing you to do so. Despite the amusement you were worried the vein on his temple would explode and show you something you did not sign up for.

Mozart: Haven't I already told you not to bring that up?

Dazai: My, what a chilling smile, Wolfie-kun! Keep that up and you'll scare all the ladies away~

MC: pft——— what ladies?

Mozart: What are you laughing about, dumbass

Arthur: Woah, woah, woah! That's not the proper way to speak to a lady, Mozie! Bad wolf, bad!

Mozart: Did you take me for a dog, you four eyed caveman?

The more the snow white haired man was filled with rage, the more the situation escalated into something even more ridiculous , so much that in the midst of it you didn't even mind the recent insult.

But something was nagging you at the back of your mind. Why did someone as much as a clean freak as him write a song about licking ass? Though you realized Arthur probably gave you the literal translation just to be more direct about his bullying, you guessed it still was something pretty vulgar for someone like him. although you had to admit that the gracious idea you had of him crumbled away the second he opened his mouth

MC: I would've never expected someone like you to write such a song...

Mozart: What are you talking about?

MC: Uhm, you know, you're pretty neat, you don't let anyone touch your piano because of their 'filthy hands'... a piece about butts is a bit...

Mozart: I was still young at the time. My humor used to be different from now, people change in the span of 100 years, you know?

Arthur: Sense of humor? I wasn't aware you had one!

Mozart: Ahahah, so very funny, you stupid tratschtante (=gossip aunt)

Dazai: Maa maa (=now, now ; ara ara maa maa), I don't think the song is that out of character. After all, "licking butts" still has the idea of cleaning something, doesn't it?

Everyone: ...

Arthur: ...That was a bit too much

MC: Yeah, it was.

Mozart: Disgusting. This is why I dont like you people

MC: Wait, so can I listen to-

Mozart: Scram. All of you.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 267: My Name Is

Previously on BnHA: Hawks stabbed Twice in the back of the head. Twice stabbed another guy in the back of the head. Everyone’s just running around stabbing or being stabbed. I should probably clarify that Twice actually died, because this is a shounen manga, so sometimes you have to clarify that this particular stabbing was actually fatal. Not just one of those flesh wound stabbings. Anyway so it was super sad, and now Dabi’s gonna face off with the sexy scarred murderous Hawks, and Toga and Compress are also going to be feeling a bit stabby after all this probably, and so that’s the general mood here I guess. I kind of need a break now so I’m wondering if we’re gonna cut to any of the kids. Because if we stick around Horikoshi may actually have to give us Dabi flashbacks. God forbid.

Today on BnHA: Tokoyami has a flashback to when Hawks told him he’s weak to being set on fire. This terrible thought weighs on his mind as he and the other lads and lasses of U.A.’s child soldier vanguard are escorted away from the battle via Fatgum and his absolute goat of a quirk. Dabi is all “:D you killed Twice, I’m gonna set you on fire repeatedly now” and Hawks is all “ffff no that’s my weakness also WHO ARE YOU” and WE GET SOME HAWKS FLASHBACKS?! and then Dabi is all “:DDDDDD [CENSORED]” and it’s literally fucking censored fuck my life. but also !!! because he actually fucking said it, though?? He really went and revealed it just like that?? And now Hawks knows, and he’s all shocked, and Dabi goes to kill him afterwards but TOKOYAMI IS ALL “ON YOUR LEFT!!!!” and OH SHIT. Also Endeavor saves Miruko so DOUBLE OH SHIT. Oh my god. I’m sorry this summary is all over the place but I can barely type a coherent sentence now so just TAKE THESE EXCLAMATION POINTS AND GO!!! SPREAD THE WORD. BE FREE.

everyone before we begin I would just like to tell you about my discovery this week. I learned that when I type the word “Dabi” on my phone the next word that the keyboard predicts is “flashbacks.” google keyboard is on to me. so now the FBI and the CIA and whoever else google is selling all my data to all know. I can only imagine. “she seems to spend an inordinate amount of time talking about ‘Dabi flashbacks.’ what’s a Dabi.” I’ll tell you what a Dabi is. it’s a guy whose fucking flashbacks we never fucking get that’s what

anyway so let’s read this chapter whose spoiler tags have already been filling up my dashboard, which is always a good sign. who will die this week? Horikoshi please have mercy on us in light of recent real life global events. maybe you can just have everyone abruptly decide that they are all done fighting and want to go home

-- GOD BLESS US EVERYONE

who could have known, years ago when the very first mangaka was drawing the very first color page, that this medium would one day soar to such great heights. who could have imagined that we would one day be witness to this masterwork, this magnificent fucking triumph of a colored manga page. holy shit. I will cherish this always

for real you all think I’m joking but I genuinely don’t want to scroll down lol. let’s just stay with Miruko forever. where it is safe. and sexy. goddammit

OH SURE, THEY GIVE US HAWKS FLASHBACKS

anyways but lol

guys. we’ve been over this. fire is everyone’s weakness. just. I’m not quite sure people like Hawks and Kamui Woods actually grasp that. do they think normal people catch on fire and they’re just “oh, this is actually all right.” also, side note kids, please don’t use this answer if this ever comes up during a job interview

wow

what a gamechanging plan of action. don’t catch on fire. Toko write that down

WOW

you guys. YOU GUYS. IT GOT BETTER

who could have known, years ago when the very first mangaka was drawing the very first gag panel, that this format would one day ascend to such lofty summits. who could have envisaged that we would one day behold such a showpiece, such a grand fucking slam of a joke panel in a shounen manga

anyway Horikoshi sure does love his English portmanteaus. I’m kind of stunned by how great this is you guys. but getting back to more serious observations, all I can say is thank fucking god somebody is actually thinking of the children! nothing terrible had better happen to them or I swear!!

so Fatgum is explaining that the plan was to have them use their respective quirks to help take out a bunch of bad guys at once, and that the grown-ups will now proceed to rope them all in and capture them. and dammit, I was trying to avoid having to post the panel because it takes forever if I post a lot of them, but I just noticed Mt. Lady over there stomping fools in the background and so now I have no choice

A+ chapter so far you guys. 5 stars. keep it up

one-and-a-half year-old Kaminari Denki has already fallen asleep. he wishes he could live there. I wish I had the words to adequately convey how utterly delighted I have been by this entire “everyone rides around in Fatgum’s belly” mini-arc, which is now my favorite part of the entire series (as always with the exception of “Dear Midoriya I’m really sorry”)

and I also just really love the timing of it?? right after the “here’s that angst you ordered” emotional sobfest of the last chapter, we’re taking a quick break to cut back to the Fatgum Express (excuse me, Fataxi) just to keep things from getting too heavy. this is such an important balance to strike. please don’t let this arc get too dark, Horikoshi

oh shit

right, Dabi?? but I’ve had an entire week to process my feelings about it and I’m more or less good now! how are you

not particularly great, then

and also, fuck. so Horikoshi was gracious enough not to show Twice’s murdered body even though he confirmed he was indeed killed (so apologies to anyone who was still holding out hope. it sucks but at least we’ve got closure). first he cuts off the bottom of the panel, and then he has Dabi literally cremate him on the fucking spot. there’s really going to be nothing left at all of him or any of the clones. I’m just gonna sit here and try not to think about that or else I’ll get sad all over again

anyway, so also Hawks’s wings have been totally incinerated now it looks like, and he’s just barely yeeting himself out of the way with whatever he’s got left

boy this is getting rough

love how Horikoshi is avoiding showing Dabi’s face!! that was sarcasm by the way because I don’t love it! he pulls this shit all the time with Bakugou too! show us their emotions dammit!

anyway. how kind of Dabi to stomp out Hawks’s flames for him like that. you see. they’re still friends

HOLY SHIT

APPARENTLY IT IS??? I GUESS WE ALL GRIEVE DIFFERENTLY LMAO. SOME PEOPLE GET SAD AND CRY AND OTHERS JUST GET REALLY SCARY AND CRAZY

like. not to nitpick or anything, but your tear glands are actually located above your eyes. maybe he means his tear ducts. also I’m not a doctor or anything and I can barely name like three bones actually so maybe I should just shut up!

anyways though, out of courtesy let’s just take Dabi at his word that grinning like a deranged lunatic is a perfectly normal response to watching your friend get murdered by your sexy archenemy. who is to say

and what exactly is your dream again? to make Stain’s will a reality or something like that? so purging the world of false heroes I guess?

DAMMIT DABI FIRE IS HIS WEAKNESS

most people would at least scream, wouldn’t they? Hawks??? does that not hurt??!

DSFKJSL:DKGHLSDKGHL

no!! I won’t be fooled!! Horikoshi and Dabi flashbacks is like Wile E. Coyote and painting a fake tunnel onto a cliffside! don’t be conned by his deceitful forced perspective!

LOL YOU SEE

apparently this man really will do anything to keep us from getting a Dabi flashback, even if that means giving us Hawks flashbacks instead lmao. WELL SHOOT. OH DARN. POOR US. WE’LL JUST HAVE TO SETTLE try not to look too happy guys he can sense satisfaction

anyway so here’s baby Hawks

okay, so -- does fandom still hate Hawks. like, I haven’t checked the bnha tag much since this weekend so I don’t know if the general consensus is still “yeah he’s cancelled” or if we’re cooling down at all yet? anyway so I apologize if liking Hawks is still A Wrong Thing To Do, but just fyi he’s still adopted and I haven’t unadopted him and I love him unconditionally even though he’s in timeout. and so now that Baby Hawks has appeared to rival all other Baby Characters (BABY YODA WATCH YOUR SIX!!) with his lil wings and his Endeavor plush and his quiet lil nodding head, I just need you all to know that I would die for him without hesitation and that’s just how it is friends

(ETA: also, jesus christ. “Keigo-kun, you can say goodbye to your name from now on!" I’m surprised they didn’t assign him a fucking number. what the fuck. time for some grueling training, lab rat #184. better get ready. jesus. he’s like 7.)

sdlkfjLSDGHOSIDFOIOOIIO

THE MAN THAT -- WHAT. WELL HOT DAMN, TAKAMI THEORISTS! GO ON AND GIVE YOURSELVES A BIG PAT ON THE BACK. YOU EARNED IT.

snap. gotta calm down. too much hype all of a sudden. easy does it

OH ARE YOU KIDDING ME THAT’S IT??

noooo go back. fuck

and how the hell do you still have eyebrows, Hawks. how are you still even alive, let alone sexy. is fire your weakness?? is it really??! WELCOME TO BNHA THE MANGA WHERE ANYONE CAN SURVIVE ANYTHING. EXCEPT FOR BEING KILLED OFF-SCREEN AFTER WEEKS AND WEEKS OF BUILDUP

WHAT THE MONUMENTAL FUCK

HORIKOSHI WHERE ARE YOU I’M READY AND WILLING TO VIOLATE SOCIAL DISTANCING RIGHT NOW TO PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE SO COME ON

what the fuck. is this a Tarantino movie. or an Eminem song. anyway but we all know what he actually said though so let’s just scroll down and see how Hawks is going to take the news

oh my. I suddenly understand Dabi’s “grinning like a lunatic” reaction to witnessing a tragedy now. ohhhhhh that’s the good angst right there

so now Dabi says that if he wasn’t Hawks’s target in the beginning, then Hawks “would’ve been done for from the start”? ...what. lol what. am I just too tired to understand this you guys. I’m so confused

okay well I still have no fucking clue what that all meant but on the next panel he’s saying that Hawks shouldn’t have been focusing on Tomura or the League

is he suggesting that he has the power to bring down the hero system by revealing that he, the son of Endeavor, was made into a villain? am I reading into this right?

holy moses. I can’t believe this is really happening. this plotline is finally on the move oh my god I can’t even I’m getting way too excited I can’t??

HEY WHAT

well it matters to me you big melodramatic jerk!! don’t even pretend like you’re really gonna do it. I have zero fear of Hawks actually dying right now, not after that. there is way too much plot attached to him, gtfo with this fakeout shit

but more importantly, why the fuck are we cutting to Gigantomachia now oh shit. don’t tell me Fatgum got the babies out of there just in time

FUCK ME I NEARLY SCREAMED OUT LOUD

HE CAN BE ACTIVATED BY THE RECORDING OF AFO!! SOMEONE HAS THE FUCKING ON SWITCH IN THEIR HANDS OH SHIT, THERE’S THE DISASTER WE WERE ALL FUCKING WAITING FOR RIGHT THERE

WE’RE CUTTING BACK TO MIRUKO NOW??? CAN THIS CHAPTER GET ANY MORE HYPE MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS

let the bodies hit the floor let the bodies hit the floor let the bodies hit the floor let the bodies hit the [deep breath] FLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO --

OH NO!?

okay like any reasonable person I am very concerned by the implications of this. and yet a part of me just wants to focus entirely on the “AM I GETTING TIRED AFTER LOSING AN ARM AND A SHITLOAD OF BLOOD AND FIGHTING FIVE NOUMUS ALL BY MYSELF FOR LIKE AN HOUR? ...NAH.” you’re absolutely right Miruko that would be ridiculous

ARE YOU SERIOUS

either she’s about to die and she knows it, or SHE WAS JUST TOYING WITH THEM WHAAAAT. I genuinely don’t even know which it is?? but it better not be the former and it absolutely is the latter though

GOSH DARN THAT MIRUKO

THERE SHE GOES. MY CZARINA

excuse me did this guy just fucking impale her

SHE ONLY HAS THE ONE GOOD HAND LEFT LIKE CAN YOU PLEASE. can you fucking not, though?! and also I forgot that being impaled through the torso is another thing in this series that’s actually fatal. well fuck

(ETA: also he ripped out her hair!! look here you piece of shit I’m gonna --)

lmao but yeah, somehow

Horikoshi. if you kill off your one cool strong top ten female hero character. just so you know. I will. ...you know what, just don’t do it, how about that. just don’t

ohhhhhh I might be about to get really mad you guys. we’ll see. we’lllllll see

SON OF A BITCH

GODDAMMIT, OBVIOUSLY TOMURA CAN’T FUCKING DIE SO WHY DON’T YOU FUCK OFF WITH THIS ENTIRE SCENARIO YOU’RE PRESENTING TO US RIGHT NOW HORIKOSHI, HOW ABOUT THAT. fuck everything I can’t believe chapter 267 page 16 was the last page of the entire manga you guys. tell me I’m reading way too much into this

ffffff

you literally had the perfect chapter. Fataxi!! Baby Hawks!! censored Touya reveals!! why would you go and. ...

I knew it was a mistake reading past that amazing color page you guys

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH MY GOD I DIDN’T SCREAM BUT I SAID “HA HA!” OUT LOUD?!

-- AND AGAIN!!!!!

YOU WANT SOME??? YOU WANT SOME?!?!

FUCK YES. EXCUSE ME WHILE I CRACK OPEN THE WINDOW AND SHOUT SOME EARNEST “WOOOOOOO!!”S DOWN UNTO THE CONFUSED STREETS BELOW

y’all. I was this close to cancelling every damn thing. you don’t even know. my god I think I was grinding my teeth there

“you know what this manga has had quite enough of as of last week? tragic deaths! you know what it has not had nearly enough of? dramatic last minute saves! you know what it hasn’t had any of? TOKOYAMI VERSUS DABI, A.K.A. YOUR NEW FAVORITE MATCH-UP OF ALL TIME, YOU’RE FUCKING WELCOME.” geez. calm down Horikoshi. be cool man be cool

you guys. it was almost perfect, and then it wasn’t, and then it very much was. my god. how did I not see that Tokoyami save coming with all that buildup in hindsight. clearly he saw the fire on page four and was all “oh no! his weakness”

only thing is. it’s yours too, bud. :/ don’t think I’ve forgotten how this all played out during the forest arc. and meanwhile on top of that we’ve got Gigantomachia about to have the rudest of awakenings. goddammit. why is everything so dangerous and so awesome thanks I love it but geez

[werezmastarbucks]

Blunt hook

Kai Parker x fem!reader smut

gif not mine

that’s like the first and the last smut I ever write ugh yeet

also I wrote this very cool thing on psychological analysis of Kai’s head bugs. check it out, it’s on my main blog. I love it.

word count: 2788

choking (light), fingering, dom!Kai, female reader

The reader had helped Kai escape hell, so now he’s trying to get her to side with him in everything else, too. However, Y/N is too stubborn, and not afraid of physical pain. Thank f*ck Kai always has a plan B.

The sky was full of Perseids and sound. Kai was taking his time and never hurried himself, but still found it was rather curious how long it takes to get used to a new form of living. Every. Damn. Time. It’s been a couple of months since he got out of hell, and every single day now he was amazed, unmistakably, by the air. I mean, can you imagine? It actually flows right into your nose and then down your throat or whatever. And it tastes so good! Being a vampire sure enhanced all the sensations, too. He was practically happy every day, agitated, even. The only thing was…

He shrugged, distracting himself from the stars and the comets flying ahead in white blinding flashes. What a beauty, he thought, what an unexpected beauty he thought he could never appreciate.

Then he saw her. And the idea came to him. All he needed at this point of being out of hell was a tiny little detail for the ascendant. It was maddening to think that virtually everything he needed was in his hands, except for this teeny-tiny metal hook less than a pinky nail in size, shiny and blunt. Without it, he could not travel back to the prison world. Without it, he could not get the reaper out. Without it, the devil would not let go of him and let him be. And the Boring Faces took it away from him. How insensitive of them not to take his lust for life into consideration.

But her. She might be of use and help. She went out of her way to open the gates of hell to let him crawl out. She went through being tortured, which means he won’t get anything out of her by inflicting pain. Kai had something on his mind though; she was wearing a dress.

Y/N was standing with her head tilted back, almost falling, looking at the cluster of the burning comets shooting through the horizontal line.

A light gust of wind brushed her hair, and then a hand grabbed her by the forearm. Y/N swayed, but managed to stay on her feet, and then she was pulled aside. Kai shot her a mad glance and walked, casually but fast, and she had nothing else to do but follow him, trying to move her feet as quick as possible.

Stalling would take a considerable amount of wit, so she started thinking right away, clutching her purse out of nervousness. Nobody considered her feeling for this nut job. Nobody. N/Y, hold him off as long as you can, but no sweat. Forget what you’ve gone through for him and lie to his face while we betray him yet again. Just stay here between the two flames, nothing special.

She sighed, trying to wiggle out of Kai’s grab, because his fingers bit into her flesh like burning coals. Kai looked back at her, dropping speed a little bit, but his eyes said nothing.

“What?” she gasped, trying to loosen his fingers. Kai didn’t give in, dragging her on towards the shade of trees. People were stepping away politely as they walked, like none of this seemed strange to them. Y/N finally levelled with Kai, but he still didn’t let go of her arm, clutching on her like she could vanish in thin air.

“Talk”, he commanded, throwing her to the side of a tree. He looked out from the shadow, making sure all the lights and the babbling people were left aside, blind to their conversation here. Their noise was still nearly unbearable, but Kai was getting better at focusing every day.

She caught herself, pressing her back to the trunk of a birch tree, and held onto it. Kai’s face as white in the shade, silvered by the faint moonlight and the rare specks of golden light from the bonfires. His eyes seemed completely black, the pupils enlarged, like he was on the verge of screaming form all the smells, and sounds, and the most of all, impatience.

“Start talking, Y/N. Where is it?”

“I don’t know what you’re on about”, she tried to make her smile seem innocent and failed, unable to hide the slow excitement that was rising in her. That. That is why she’s completely useless in things like that. She already forgot where they hid the dam detail even if she knew.

Kai grabbed on her purse, pulling on the strap. She barely managed to bend her head to let it slide off her shoulders. One second later, and she would’ve been choked, or beheaded. The vampire opened her handbag, thrashing it with sharp movements. She let out a giggle as he threw it aside, half empty.

Blood ran to her face as the vampire stepped up, closing a shadow on her. His arm flew up and rested on the trunk just above her head, and she felt comfortably caged. Kai licked his lips, trying to hold from acting right away, trying to come up with the most gracious way to get it out.

“Damon and his brother, they hid the last detail from my ascendant”, Kai elaborated,

“Come on, Y/N you know well what I’m talking about. Don’t make me hurt you”, he stared deep into her eyes like a snake charmer.

“I don’t actually want to hurt you”.

“I don’t know where it is, Kai. They don’t tell me. They know…”

Y/N paused, wondering if he could hear her heartbeat. Of course, he could. Irregular, quick, like a little puppy jumping and twisting in her chest, sending bright sparkles to her eyes, because she just can’t hide how much fun this all is. When fear goes away, there’s just fun.

Kai felt, this was the moment she could say something. He shifted; stooping above her, cupping her face with his palms. Soft hair was brushing the backs of his hands as he held her, pleading:

“They know you don’t want me to go back. Right? You don’t want me to go back to hell, do you, Y/N?”

She smiled sheepishly, thinking, what a bastard. He is one manipulative bastard with his blackish eyes and his perfect American chin. He tilted his head like a robot, knowing that was his best angle. Nothing worked. Kai felt her warmth, the hot spasms coming out of her skin, her desire was so obvious it was ridiculous, and yet she stood there, immovable like he didn’t matter. She was good, this one, stamina like a real fighter. Well, he guessed, torture and being alone for some time does that to people. Their skin touched and yet nothing happened, although he could practically hear her insides warming up, he could see the pupils of her eyes widening hungrily, and it made him feel weird, like he was hungry, too.

Y/N kept silent, thinking that would drive him mad enough out of a simple reason. She didn’t really have a plan. After all this is done, she thought, I’m moving the hell out of this cursed hole. She was as tired of the Boring Faces as Kai was, she just hid it better.

“Well”, his face hardened as his hands let go of her face. Kai looked at her, familiar violent glimmering dancing in his eyes. It was hard to tell in the dark whether he was smiling or grimacing. Maybe it was time to run, she couldn’t tell. Before she could decide anything, his whisper cut her ears like a razor.

“Maybe you’re hiding it somewhere here. Under your dress”.

Then his hand slid down so quickly she only felt it when it already was on her left thigh. Warm finger caressed her skin lightly, tracing its way up, until his palm lurked under the skirt. Y/N’s brain screamed: that feels not bad at all. Evident attractiveness of this undead heretic was burning her eyes. She was torn between staying prideful and keeping him at her side – for whatever reasons.

“Why aren’t you fighting me?” his voice brushed her face, she could almost taste its timbre. She bit her lower lip from the inside not to blurt out anything. Let him entertain himself, she’s not going to do his work. This man, this crazy type in front of her, manipulative, always with a plan, awoke a feeling in her, a desire to stand up to him, even if in this weird, submissive way. Well, she’ll figure that out, she thought. It’ll all unfold by itself. Right now, she just knew, she wouldn’t brush his arms off, no matter what he does, or how hard he does it.

Kai gasped comically.

“Are you my distraction?”

A boyish, excited smile brightened his face. It lit with amusement and anticipation.

“What am I supposed to be distracting you from?” Y/N asked in a thin voice.

“Bae, everything”, he blurted readily.

His palm moved just as his eyes narrowed again. There was a shift in his mood. Like a kitten, that’s too young, he really did get distracted. The ascendant detail is important, sure. But there’s this one, propped up against a tree, and he’s curious as to why she’s not running, not giving in. She’s just smirking, almost brave enough to show him what she really wants. Fortunately, he can almost read her mind.

There was hunger inside of him, not only for blood, but an eerie sensation of dryness in is throat; the light-headedness when he realized he’s watching Y/N, but she doesn’t see him. When he’s just an invisible observer, and all she does is his by all means. Being in the crowd, really stop seeing people. Kai did the opposite, and he chose her. If you rid yourself of self a little bit – excuse the pun – you’re free to watch whoever you want. Kai’s seen way more than anybody else. The tip of her tongue snaking in the corner of her mouth, and the curves of her hips as she walked, the wild glimmering in the corners of her eyes. The slender fingers crooking on her cheeks, caressing her own neck. The softness of the earlobe pierced by the golden earring. The thin delicate skin on the inside of her elbow. Her cocky posture, ever-ironic grin letting out deep sigh of her tired, unamused voice.

The hidden soul of that girl was not pure. She was not pure. Kai was wondering if he’d contributed to that.

His hand touched the fabric of her underwear, and he felt comfortable. He pressed his thumb on her pubic bone, wondering, how hard would be too hard.

“Hands on the tree”, he ordered, and her palms were glued to the trunk in a second. Y/N pushed her back against it, trying to move as little as possible. Her thighs moved forward as she leaned backwards, the wings of her shoulder blades colliding with the tree. Kai towered over her like a leopard over a cheetah cub.

“Let’s see if it’s there, do you mind?” he murmured, and Y/N bumped the back of her head against the hard trunk. His fingers pulled her panties down and pressed on her clit persistently. Y/N neck went hot. Kai watched carefully as her nostrils flared a little, like he didn’t know what he’s doing, like it was something alien he was touching. He was trying to figure out the connection between the hunger he was experiencing, and the warm, welcoming wetness of the inside of her. Y/N was thinking about how smooth his skin was. It was so fucking smooth, seemingly perfect to touch. She opened her mouth to say something, but Kai’s other hand immediately pressed on her face, covering her mouth.

“Nah-uh. Keep quiet. Do as I say”.

He made himself horny saying that. He didn’t expect these words out of his own mouth, just as his fingers slid inside of her, and he felt Y/N sucking on the air from underneath his palm. She tried to bite the skin lightly, but swayed, obedient, never looking away. Kai’s eyes were dark and calm, like oceans of Malivore, hypnotizing, eyes with a trace of tragic smile deep inside.

Y/N wanted so bad to raise her hands and weave them around his neck, to hang herself onto him, shifting all the weight, and ride his hand. Keeping still made all her muscles sing a tense melody of pain, making pleasure all the more even, sending it like sharp flashes of color all down her body. She begged to god that she wasn’t shaking, because she really couldn’t tell anymore; she was throwing all her might into not moaning as his three fingers were moving inside, rubbing the sensitive skin, sliding in and out, pinching and pulling. Her right knee gave in, and she swayed again, nails clawing into the bark; Kai took his palm off her mouth and wrapped it around the girl’s throat; her whole neck went into his fist like it was carved for it. He propped her up and squeezed her throat, lightly first, then tighter and tighter, until her mouth opened a little, and his own jaws separated as he looked inside. His tongue pressed against his canines violently, bursting the tip of it and bleeding into his mouth. The hot blood pumped into his face and nose, and he grabbed her by the clit, immersing his fingers inside down to the first knuckles. He was fucking her, they both realized, with his hand, and that was one way to do it. Y/N propelled her hips, giving in to her own screaming body, because that movement was the only one she could think of. The ultimate goal of that one moment was to string herself onto his hand, deeper, deeper, harder, so that he could destroy her, tear her apart.

Kai loosened his hand on her throat just a little, to hear her whimper as her eyes rolled. Biting shiver shot through Y/N’s body, but she was glad to see she stood; trunk of the birch tree was hurting her head, so she tilted it forward a little and gasped for air as Kai’s hand let go of her. Both his hands, to be precise. He rubbed his right hand on Y/N’s thigh, leaving a hot trace of cum on her skin in gentle touches. He couldn’t help tracing the sharp bone of her hip, drawing circles around the tip absent-mindedly. The only way he could now relieve himself was to grab and squeeze her hip possessively, making her groan softly. There was supposed to be hurt. He usually hurt someone as a result of… the process. The normal pattern of events was him standing with his hands covered in thick dark blood in the end of the picture, gratified deeply by the seizing screams, calming his beast down. Pain. Was it something like that? Kai looked deep into her face and read her. He saw that orgasm was pretty much like physical pain, only, it made her show her teeth in a smile.

It was over, Y/N figured; blood was pumping in her ears, and even if he said something, she couldn’t hear. She wrapped her hands around Kai’s neck and rested on him, locking her fingers on the short, soft hairs on the back of his head. Just for a moment, he’s going to belong to her, while he’s whispering his hot threats in her ear. His voice, the scent, the breadth of his shoulders – all hers, just for now, as he’s holding her against this very tree.

“Come on now, Y/N”.

Kai knew he had like three seconds to slither inside of her mind while she’s fragile. While she’s messed up, sweet smell of pleasure and indolence pouring out of her like a syrup; he could as well just lick it off her skin.

“Where is it? Where is it”, he pressed his face against hers, listening to her deep, erratic breathing. He was keeping up with his own noise, confused by the sudden outburst of eagerness and a boner. He had to be focused, but he couldn’t but admire a little this oily, feminine beauty. Her wrists pulsating with blood were so close to his face the smell flooded him.

The bravery of her, though, as she lifted her face and looked him in the eye. Pupils expanded, glistening with lust and mischief. She said:

“I really don’t know. Why don’t you try it with you mouth next?”

The smile curling her lips made the groan wake in the depths of his chest. Kai let the hot air out of his nose, clenching his jaws. He brushed off Y/N’s arms, pushing away, and stepped out of the shadows with an audible roar. The sound of her laughter was ringing in his ears.  

[sunshinesukuna]

hogwarts school of sorcery and sweethearts

✨ pairing: kuroo x reader ✨ genre: fluff ✨ wc: 1.5k ✨ uwu here’s a soft interlude for all y’all, hope y’all like it, 

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐢: 𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 (𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧) | 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞 | 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐢𝐢: 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 (𝐚𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧)

See-through people floated along the halls as you made your way back to the common room. The painting of the knight on the third floor snored so loudly that you thought it would break your eardrums. Mental reminder: never hang a magical painting of yourself in Hogwarts. If you do, hang far away from the East Wing, preferably far from the third floor. How the paintings around him stood it, you didn’t know.

 “Poor sweetheart, she could be one of us with those eyebags!” a painting cried on your left. A couple of talking raccoons pointed at you. They were either painted so well that they looked like they had devilish faces, or they were painted so crudely that even the ounce of cuteness a raccoon held was replaced by a foul disgust.

 “Who is it? Snape? Flitwick? We’ll sneak in when they’re teaching and set you all free,” one of them sang.

 Your eyes were glazed over as you looked at the animals. The muscles in your legs were begging for you to sit down right then and there, but your mind, still intoxicated with the drug that is fatigue kept them in place. “Professor,” you yawned, “McGonagall.” The raccoons cackled with their scratchy voices.

 “We’ll raise hell for you, sweetie,” they said. “Wasn’t Peeves out for that Seventeenth Century Animal to Human Transfiguration book?” With all the remaining energy in your body, you shrugged your droopy shoulders. You could care less about McGonagall’s class than how you were about to get to the dorms right now. Hanging your head, you walked away.

At least the Fat Lady gave you a warm greeting.

“Goodness gracious! What are you up to again, Peeves!” the Fat Lady said. Her flushed face reminded you of a blinking traffic light on a dark night. She had obviously been drinking with her friends. Thank goodness paintings didn’t emit any smells. You groaned.

“I’m not Peeves,” you said. She pointed an accusing finger the size of a blood sausage at you.

“Lies! Prove it! Password?” Sleep was clouding your thoughts by now. What was the password again? It was just yesterday that they had given you the new one. Something about quidditch? Or was it something to do with cats?

 The support from under the stack of books under you fell down. The legs that had loyally carried you from one end of the castle to the other had now reached their breaking point.You reached in front of you to cushion your fall, only to land on your bag. The books inside provided poor cushioning, but it only stung a little. 

So what if you forgot the password? You were going to finish these assignments even if they ripped you apart from head to toes. Making yourself as comfortable as the spiky walls would let you, you settled down under the portrait of the Fat Lady. 

“Hey! Get out from under there Peeves? What in the blazes do you think you are doing?” You got your books ready from your bag. It was the last one you had to do. Transfiguration. As much as the inhabitants of Gryffindor Tower loved Professor McGonagall, there were some instances where each of them would give up at almost nothing to throw a hex or a jinx at her. Yours was now.

“Getting shit done,” you muttered under your breath. Ink from the quill wept over your hands from the shaky movements. The book was balanced on your lap, parchment over your other leg as you wrote. To hell with comments about your handwriting. You needed that grade.

The Fat Lady eventually fell asleep. The only sound in the halls right now were her elephant-like snores and the scratch of your quill. You couldn’t fall asleep now. There were five questions left on the parchment, you could at least finish two more and do the rest at breakfast tomorrow. Just two more… Two more questions…

The assignments! The cruel realization that you would be late to Transfiguration startled you awake. You pulled off the blankets from above you and pulled back the curtains. It felt like all the things you had feared of the night before had come raining down from you again. Thoughts of what you were going to do came crashing around your head like snow in a particularly violent avalanche.

 McGonagall was going to give you a lower-than-passing grade, which would bring down your total average, which in turn would greatly impact your work options in the future. Visions of a bleak future invaded your brain. Your fingers treaded the space under the bed, instead coming in contact with soft carpet on the floor.

 Weren’t you on the steps outside the Fat Lady just a little while ago?

You shook the sleep out of your eyes. Soft morning light woke your brain up from the haze that it had been for the past…. You looked at the clock. It was already 11 o’clock! Running to the bathrooms, you passed the common room, which was filled with a slew of your fellow housemates. How could they still be in the common room during this time? Didn’t they have—

“Morning, babe,” someone said. A pair of large hands found their place on your shoulders and nestled between the locks of your hair.

“What are you doing?” you asked. You spun around, only to be met with the baffled face of your boyfriend. Kuroo raised an eyebrow. He was still in pajamas, as were the other members of Gryffindor House. They were looking at you like you had taken the Polyjuice Potion wrong and had grown another set of eyes.

“What are you doing?” Kuroo retaliated. He gripped the sides of your shoulders. He wasn’t making any sense. It was like you woke up in a parallel universe. It was Friday, for goodness’s sake. They had lessons! What were they doing, relaxing so leisurely?

 “What do you mean? Isn’t it…” The bright red letters of the calendar to the side made you collapse on the chair behind you.

“It’s Saturday, kitten. What are you getting so worked up about?”

Getting no response, Kuroo decided to sit down beside you. His fingers rubbed small circles between your shoulder blades, eventually switching to short lines on your neck. Once he was sure you were properly grounded and awake, he put your head on his lap.

“You dummy, you didn’t have supper last night, did you?” The gurgle of your stomach made him sigh. Kuroo put your head down on the couch and stood up to put a steaming plate of toast and eggs on your knees. Just the smell of it was enough to make you lightheaded. It was gone in five bites.

“You’re welcome,” he said. Sickly condescendence coated his words, but you were too hungry to even pay attention to him. You nodded a silent ‘thank you’.

A glass of water and a shower later, you were in his lap once more. 

“What happened last night?” you muttered. It was an afterthought, something you said to clear your mind. You did not expect Kuroo to respond.

“I got back from night patrol to see you and the Fat Lady knocked out cold,” he said. He detailed the scene he came upon; your sleeping form sprawled over several books, the parchment a blanket over your body as you dozed off the fatigue of studying all day with no breaks. Kuroo had then proceeded to use a Levitating Charm to get you back to bed.

“My papers!” you cried. If anything happened to the work that you spent a whole week on, you would—

“Don’t bother. I did them already.” You whipped your head back from under your bed. All the air in your lungs felt like it had been gently expelled after rotting in there for a week. Sure enough, besides the stack of books on your desk, was a neatly folded sheet of parchment with his loopy handwriting. The notes were clear, concise, and more than enough for you to work with. Kuroo shrugged.

“I just wrote the key points. You can go off from where I left off,” he said. It didn’t seem like much. But for somebody that had been laboring 7 days and 7 nights for this grade, key points were more than enough. Really, anybody lightening your load was enough. You put your face in your hands.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Kuroo’s hands patted your back again, “why are you crying?” Were you crying? You pulled back your hands to see that he was right. They were soggy with tears of relief and desperation. You wiped the rest of the tears off with your sleeve. Kuroo massaged your neck with slow, tender motions.

“Tetsu…” you said once you had stopped crying, “I could seriously kiss you right now.” Kuroo laughed. He spread his arms and beckoned you to come closer.

“Be my guest.”

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐢: 𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 (𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧) | 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞 | 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

taglist: @yeet-these-hoez @tattedweeb

[just-emotional-trash]

*Ahem* THESE PEOPLE ARE GREAT

Yes I’m making a shoutout post because these people are great okay and deserved to be cherished. Most of them I don’t even talk to and probably don’t know I exist, but I need them to know that they’re just great.

Some of these are people I see on my dash all the time, others I see in my notifications, all of them are equally fantastic!!!

@thatsthat24 - I’m aware of the low possibility of Thomas actually seeing this, but on the off chance that he does - Hello! First of all, thank you for making me laugh, for educating me on psychology(which I’m actually going to study in college!), and for giving me a chance to be in this great community! Speaking of which, I mostly wanted you to see all of these great people. There’s certainly many more that I haven’t mentioned, but I hope you know how beautiful, and amazingly talented and sweet all true fanders are.

Speaking of these great fanders!

@katelynn-a-fan - yeah, I see you! I’m pretty sure you’ve liked every single post I’ve made, and I love you for it. Muah!

@justfor2am - I just think you’re neat. You’re content is great and you seem like a fantastic person!

@notalwaysthevillian - you’re beautiful. Fantastic. I absolutely adore all of your writings, even the ones I don’t ship :)

@sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes - I see you in sometimes in my notifications and always on my dash! Your content is so fun, and your reblogs are so relatable

@i-am-a-fish - I know your taking a break from tumblr right now and I respect that. You’re completely valid and I hope you know that your Twitter continues to light up my day, just as your tumblr always has. You’re fabulous and fantastic!

@smol-bean-patton-sanders - Pat you’re great and we should talk more, I’m just a socially anxious bean. But you’re so fun and cool!

@softest-emo - you too! We need to talk more! You’re art is amazing- you have a lot of talent! You’re fantastic kiddo.

@poisonedapples AND @romansleftshoulderpad - bc y’alls qpr is actually goals and is so fun to see, just from the outside! That’s why I put you together, but honestly I just love both of your accounts and I think you’re both just so neat.

@yeet-ceit - I just smile every time I see you on my dash- and I couldn’t tell you why other than you’re great so. There. It’s a fact.

@hickory-dickory-doc-k - your writing is to live for, honesty, and you’re just a great person ok?!

Oh my goodness gracious I could go on forever. I very well may make another soon. There is most definitely more I could call out and say. Until then, take my affection! Each of you deserve it!

[mistressemmedi]

Meeting the drivers - Canadian GP

Ferrari

Charles - he came out first of all the drivers. There was a group of guys that had a massive Ferrari flag and a Monaco flag and you could tell he was super happy to see it. He always has this look of “I can’t believe these people are here for me omg” on his face. He’s 10 times more cute and adorable in real life. Bless

Sebastian - he came out with Lewis, which caused the crowd to go CRAZY. They were bantering with each other, which was fun to watch. He went through the crowd as quickly as he could because everyone was pushing and screaming. He still took the time with everyone, and was super nice to @lookitsbee when her phone got stuck trying to take a selfie. His legs are so skinny (also, he has a scar?), someone feed him!

Mercedes 

Lewis - ok he is so cute in real life? He was sooo happy to see team LH there, especially when everyone was chanting “VETTEL, VETTEL” in his face. He was very gracious and took his time with the two kids that had Merc gear at our corner. 

Valtteri - DAT ASS THO. Ok, he came out last and we were all like “???? Where he at???” and then realized that he probably had press conference duties. I think everyone fell in love a little bit with him after he talked to us. I’m surprised by the amount of people that were telling him “I hope you win this weekend”. I think he was surprised too. Very nice dude though, although his beard power is too powerful for even me. His PR guy is a riot, we talked shoelaces.

Red Bull 

Max - very business-like. Poor guy was probably not having the greatest time, he barely spoke a word. Although I managed to get him to smile and crack up a bit when I yelled “YO HAVE FUN THIS WEEKEND”. I even got a thank you. Mission accomplished.

Pierre - I still would like to throw myself into the sun after our interaction. FML. I was talking to his PR lady, her shoes were lit, and I don’t know how we ended up talking for a few seconds ABOUT SHOES. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. I barely got a picture, I think he thought I was hilarious. Or crazy. Or shoe obsessed. Excuse me while I jump in the canal.

Alfa Romeo

Kimi - he is every bit the guy you see on TV. No bullshit, no PR face. He still took his time with everyone, and he is very much loved still. Amazing. 10/10 would drink vodka with him

Antonio - MY LIL BABY. We chatted in Italian while he was signing for the people around me, told him to enjoy the race and that he’s making us Italians proud. Also, boy loves his skinny jeans (emo boy at heart lmao). He was absolutely adorable, and he was so pleased when the people next to me tried to wish him well in broken Italian. 

Renault 

Nico - he is so soft. Him and Daniel get along so well, you can see by the way they interact. He was cracking jokes all around, high fiving all the kids on the way. Stopped for a selfie, great dude. Zeus is doing great btw. 

Daniel - y’all, someone got him to sign a shoe. I KID YOU NOT, everyone was cheering. This guy took off his shoe and was holding it up and the entire corner started chanting “sign the shoe!”. When he did it sounded like a bomb went off because everyone started cheering all at the same time. Good banter all around, he’s a great sport. 

Haas 

Kevin - soft viking boy. Fact, he’s a lot smaller than he appears on tv? He is such a soft boy tho. Smiles all around, especially for the kids. Second time meeting him and chatting with him, 10/10 he’s a soft dog dad

Romain - he LOVES kids. He’s such a dad and you can tell. He is so patient and graceful with the mob of people yelling at him. He singled out every kid, made sure to thank them for being there, high fives and pictures all around. The little boy on the corner was ecstatic. Him and Kevin were out there the longest because they wanted to make sure they got to everyone. 

Williams 

Robert - there was a polish squad out there for him, and you could tell he was happy about that. Otherwise he is a real quiet guy, he said even less words than Kimi 

George - I almost scream-laughed when he spoke because he sounds so british and so posh. Legit, think of the stereotypical British accent and that’s George. 20$ says he stops everything he does at 5 and has tea NO MATTER WHAT. Probably has a picture of the queen in his car #confirmed. Good sport though

McLaren 

Lando - fucking yeeted out of there because he forgot he had a press conference. Didn’t talk to him, I’m quite sad. Yes, he is quite short. 

Carlos - he is giving Fernando a run for his money re: luscious hair. He didn’t say much, but this have a bit of a conversation with the Mexican squad next to us. 

Force India Racing Point 

Checo - ok, so we had a bunch of Mexican fans right next to us. Hilarious people, they brought a selfie still and were here to partyyy. Some of them dressed up as Pink Panthers lol. I quickly got my autograph and stepped aside because I wanted these people to have their moment, you know? Checo was soooo fucking happy to see the Mexican flag. He took his time, had a few laughs with them, and was generally in a great mood. He’s very proud of who he is, and his country. It was lovely to see.

Lance - poor guy looked to dazed. I can just imagine the amount of PR he has to do at his home GP. He didn’t say much but he did make a point to sign for everyone around us. 

Toro Rosso 

Alex - he is such a happy kid omg. His face is literally the :3 emoji. He laughed when I told him to go for it and enjoy the track. He took a bit of extra time with us gals, great sport all around.

Dany - my boy. Honestly. First off, he is as much of an awkward dork as you would imagine. The support for him was amazing in our area, I think people are quite happy to see him back for real. I chatted with him in Italian, my brain short circuited and I could not English at that point. He was super nice about it haha. He saw the guys with the Mexican flag next to me and greeted them in spanish. Then talked to someone else in French. Then English again. Daamn Dany, showoff. 

Overall experience was a m a z i n g. I’m glad I got to chat with some of the drivers. And some of the staff too, it’s nice to see the PR teams let loose.

Looking forward to next year. 

[rustic-space-fiddle]

2018 Review

Tagged by like five people my brain is dumb so I can’t remember???

5 Movies You Watched (not mentioning Marvel stuff because DUH I saw those)

1. The Darkest Minds (thanks @plutoxriley!! 🖤)

2. Ocean’s Eleven (iconic and one of my favorite films)

3. Dr. Strangelove (uh... funny but only if you have sick, warped humor.)

4. Clueless (hilarious! a fave! Paul Rudd! Yay!)

5. Mama Mia (oh Lordy this is a bOP)

BONUS YEET: To All The Boys I Loved Before (thanks again Lainey!)

5 Shows You Watched

1. Moar Voltron

2. The Dragon Prince (literally yesterday and I loved it)

3. Stranger Things 🎃

4. FireflyyyyyyyyyyyYYYYYYY (SERIOUSLY WATCH IT)

5. Parks and Recreation (a timeless classic)

5 (10) Songs You Listened To

1. Tomorrow - Annie, the new one (so hopeful)

2. Thank You for the Music - Mama Mia (just gorgeous. Makes me cry)

3. All the Newsies, Tuck Everlasting, Bandstand, and Bonnie and Clyde OBC recordings

4. Haul Away Joe - Kodaline (excellent)

5. In Spite of All the Danger - The Quarrymen

6. Captains of the Sky - Sky Sailing (Owl City)

7. Christmas for Cowboys - Jars of Clay

8. She’s Always A Woman / Piano Man (yes I know this is two songs shut up) - Billy Joel

9. Layla - Derek and the Dominos

10. Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked - Cage the Elephant

5 Books You Read

1. Fever Code (shoot me)

2. The False Prince (an excellent read highly recommend)

3. Hidden Figures (historical af and honestly amazing)

4. The Finest Hours (so much heroism and selfless sacrifice)

5. The Nazi Hunters (WWII book about kids that hunted Nazis)

5 Good Things That Happened To You

1. Me paw got help for some personal problems

2. Got passes to Harry Potter World

3. I found a path for my life

4. My friendships got stronger

5. I got three 50’s dresses, so now I can be beautiful!!

((Tbh anyone who wants to do this can yeeeet))

Gonna level with ya: 2018 sucked butt. It was honestly the most awful year of my entire existence. Looking back on this year is not something I will be doing often. But!! Already I can see that God’s working his plans. Things are getting better, and I know everything will be alright because no matter how last year went or this year goes, in the end I have the greatest gift of all and the greatest outcome waiting for me.

Enough that sappy bullshuck. I mean, who do I look like?? An unstable teenage lady with an unhealthy obsession with the nonexistent?? Absolutely not. I have no feelings.

Thanks to everyone on here who helped me, even if you were just there. Special thanks to @plutoxriley for letting me tell you any and everything and for all the hugs, and to @thatwouldbeunfortunate for all the advice and gracious, understanding words. 🖤

SHUCK I DID IT AGAIN I GOT SAPPY AGAIN

OH NO

AM I A

HOPELESS ROMANTIC

FML

[aggressivetapdancing]

Jealous Poe Dameron HCs

Requested by: @partylikeits1899

A/N: I love me some jealous Poe :’)) + I’m back and better than eva yEET (but seriously, I’ll be more active since the hectic holidays are almost over!!)

Also below, (hopefully) is a lovely dancing poe gif because i believe everyone deserves to see it

ANYWAYS HERE WE GO (brace yourselves, it’s a lil long oops)

- Poe Dameron does not get jealous

- Poe Dameron is a confident, space pilot, hero man

- At least that’s what he thought until he met you

-  You just joined the Resistance, and had just met Finn, and the two of you were just talking together, and just getting to know each other

- The pilot came in to talk to Finn, but saw you there, laughing at something Finn said

- Poe had no clue why was he jealous, but he was

- Like a lot

- why?? we don’t know

- So instead of just talking to you himself, he decided to try and make you jealous

- Which sounded SO stupid, but Poe being Poe, didn't care. He’s done a lot of stupid things, and making someone who probably doesn't even know his name jealous couldn’t be that bad

- But oh yikes it was

- Every time you’d pass by, he’d act all flirty to the nearest person, just to see if it’d catch your attention

- But you being completely and utterly oblivious, you didn’t notice

- Poe once acted all flirty with General Organa and she slapped him

- That, You noticed

- “What on earth is wrong with you Dameron!?”

- “Sorry- General I- Uh- I don’t know what came over me-  I was just- It was a joke-”

- But she wasn’t taking any of his shit

- “Tell me what’s going on, Dameron.”

- And he’d just nod and look at you quickly before turning back to General Organa

- That she caught, and she just pulled him outside to a separate room

- “You’re jealous.”

- “W-what? How- I mean no! But-”

- And she’d give him a knowing look 

- “Why, Dameron.” She’d ask

- “I saw Finn talking to her- and they were laughing together...”

- “And?”

- “That’s all.” 

- And she’d give the biggest sigh and roll her eyes

- “You’re telling me, You. Poe Dameron. Someone who’s almost met death, fell out of the sky, flown literally in front of many cannons, are jealous, because of one simple joke Finn could’ve made that caused her to laugh.”

- And he’d flush, embarrassed

- “Poe, go out there and talk to her. Ask her out for goodness sake, I don’t care. Just prove to me you’re a man, and you’re not afraid of talking to a girl.”

- He’d follow he orders and soon enough, you agreed to going out on a date with him

- Skip to a few months later, you and Poe would be happily dating

- He’d still be jealous from time to time though

- Whenever someone would look at you in that type of way, there are 2 options of what Poe would do

- Option 1: His grip would tighten on you and he’d bring you significantly closer, his jaw would clench (and it was clearly noticeable), You would feel him tense up as he’d place an arm around you, and the whole package would be included with a death glare at the guy who looked at you

- Option 2: Jheez oh my goodness. Poe would quickly take you and just start making out just like that. The little shit would also make sure the other guy was watching, and the two of you would continue to make out until the other guy walked off

- Poe would make sure practically the whole galaxy knew you were his by reminding everyone on the daily

- “Y/N, MY girlfriend by the way, would not approve of this.”

- “Has anyone seen MY girlfriend, Y/N?”

- Sometimes when Poe is feeling extra protective, he’d make sure to leave a ton of hickeys on your neck the morning after ;))

- And he’d hide anything that could/would cover up the marks he made last night, just to let the whole ship what happened last night

- Concealer, gone. Scarves, gone. Literally everything and anything to cover it, gone.

- The little shit would also start conversations like this:

- “Oh wow, Y/N- What’s that on your neck?”

- And he’d make sure to announce that loudly too, goodness gracious

- An everyone would look at your neck of course

- Some people would just smirk knowingly, others would just roll their eyes because this is probably the fifth time Poe has pulled something off like this in that week

- But flyboy here would be 100% hella proud of himself

- And tbh although he was so extra when he was jealous, you couldn’t help but secretly love it

- Ugh I love me a jealous Poe