#my google docs is a labyrinth at this point

[cerealboxlore]

WIP Ask Game

Rules: Make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! Then tag as many people as you have WIPs. Tagged by @wolfsbanesparks

My WIPs: 1. Captain Marvel: The (Written) Animated Series

2. Brace For Impact

3. A Day In Your Shoes (The Power of Damocles)

4. Billy Batson's Middle School Survival Guide

5. Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?

6. It's Terror Time Again

7. Family Tree

8. Butterscotch Hopscotch

9. God Shattering Star

10. Gold Star

11. Batson And Bromfield: Adequate Detectives

12. A Champion Is Born

13. An Interview With Disaster

14. Kid Marvel

15. Down Came The Rain

16. Emergency Contact

17. Sunny Side Down

18. My Baby Sitter's A Villain

19. Killer Frequency

20. Question Everything You Know (A Sweet Tooth For The Truth)

21. It's 10PM, Do You Know Where Your Children Are?

22. The Best Kind Of Day

23. Mother's Day

24. Lost And Drowned

25. Operation: Date

That should be all, if not most of my WIPs! I had to dig through my lists for these and I'm proud to say I'm making good progress in them. I decided to study Radiology after graduating, so let's see if I can actually publish a fic (FOR ONCE).

Okay! Tagging time! I don't know many to tag, especially not 25, haha! If you see this and want to tag along for the ride and add in your own WIPs, be my guest! I want to see what y'all have! @detectivewebs @kenandeliza @billy-and-friends @that-one-gay-bitch

[leeflagoon]

The Fanfiction Files: introduction.

About a year ago I started—on my school email—a google doc where I would get ideas from classmates and write the most vile fanfictions—ON MY SCHOOL ACCOUNT—into a section of the document.

“Fanfiction is a concept. It is a way of writing that should’ve never been written. Fanfiction comes from the depths of hell itself. My eternal punishment is to go through this labyrinth of filing cabinets full of horrible fanfiction. There is fanfiction about everything, Draco Malfoy, Dream SMP, Anime -so. much. anime.- and I have to read it all. I have all the time in the universe, after all. I should stop speaking to space, and start reading my next file again.”

FILE A9985, TIMOBY:

“Tim worked day and night for years to build Moby, a sexy brazen robot that has his own mind and personality and answers questions from kids around the world with his BrainPop technology. “I think I did it….finally…it's DONE!!!!” Tim squealed in delight as his Moby started to awaken.

“BeEp!”

His beeps translate in Tim’s head with the chip that Tim implanted in his cranium.

“Yes, my creation! Speak! You are alive!!”

“BeEp!”

Tim was overjoyed and excited. He grew more excited with every beep his little pet made.

“BeEeEeEp! BeEp! BeEp!”

“Oh Moby~” Tim was flustered with what Moby just said to him. The excitement and accomplishment that he just gave a robot emotion brought Tim pleasure. His member was pawing at the fly of his jeans, throbbing and begging to be released. “What is this feeling -ngh-...Moby?” Tim was confused on why his length was rushing with blood, reaching out to try and enter the robot’s walls. A piece of paper printed out of the robot’s huge pecs, containing the question that Tim just asked. Moby flushed, the bronze around his cheeks heating to a fiery red. His metal flaps moistening with crude oil.

“B-b- beEp”

“Moby..”

Moby started shutting down with embarrassment. Tim rushed to his side and caught the warm metal creature. Their faces are inches apart.

time froze between them.

[god how I wish time would stop, this story is torture]

Both Tim and Moby wished that this moment would last forever, the standstill and swinging scale in both of their minds wondering whether to make the first move or not. Tim extracted the courage from his mind to kiss Moby. Moby could do nothing but melt in his arms, still being held up by the tall lanky man. Moby wanted to do more, give Tim pleasure, and contribute, so Moby pushed away from Tim and started kissing his neck. At this point they slowly sat up and were both just kissing on the floor. Now, it was Tim’s turn to melt. Moby caressed Tim’s body and stopped at his ass, using his hydraulic strength to smack it. Tim moaned in pain, delicious, addictive pain. Moby positioned the beta in heat so that Tim would be straddling the robot. Moby used his robot abilities to change from a robot hoochie to a large, girthy, copper length. The forest around his man-bothood was not hair, but rust-a last minute design from Tim himself. Tim accepted his fate and let the robot’s hydraulic fucking machine poke through his jeans and ravage his colon. Tim screamed in pain and rapture, satisfied with every pulse, throb, and squelching pound, but somehow with all this satisfaction he couldn’t get enough and was shaking and quivering for more.

“M-M-Moby~” Tim begged for him to stop and for him to keep going. His voice was shaky and breathless, trying to hold in his climax.

“BeEp” Moby pulled out, cutting Tim off completely, leaving him tired and empty.

“Moby..*inhale* …Why’d you stop?*exhale*” Tim says exasperated.

“BeEp, BeEeEeEp!” Moby replied

Tim was about to cry, how did his robot learn to edge? He didn’t like it at all, all Tim wanted to do was get back on the metal tube. Moby grabs him and inserts his bothood back into Tim’s bloody, queefing hole. Moby goes back to pound town and makes sure to gag Tim in the process, Tim’s husky moans muffling.

“Moby-mmh-stop-ngh-OOUUUH!” Moby quickly removes his tin foil cock and Tim’s back-door releases an ocean of fluid. Tim screams in climax as his mess and anal squirt gets all over the floor. Moby’s tube releases vaseline as he reaches the summit.

“BeEp!”

*Tim exhales, tired*

Tim and Moby cuddle for the rest of the day and night, in harmony, in the anal squirt.”

*I close the file*

*I sigh, tired of this punishment*

And so we are done with FILE A9985. It's been hundreds of years of just reading for me; and for the first time in centuries, I am so close to reaching the next aisle. Aisle B. I don’t know why I feel a sense of hope that this will end, even after the English alphabet is done, with 10,000 stories per aisle, it just moves on to a different alphabet in a different language, even ancient ones. That is all I was told, I don’t know what will happen eons later once I finish the last Alphabet.

[rosalynib]

TW: poetry referencing gore and other depressive topics

Here's some of my poetry. I am very aware of how edgy a lot of it is. It might not be good, but these were wrenched from the depths of my Google Docs tab and my physical diary. I suppose one could say they were "written from the heart". I've a penchant for scribbling poetry into any available crevice when it pleases me.

I'll look back on these one day after I've long forgotten them. When I do, I'm sure there will be ones that I cringe at, and ones that I still think good of.

I hold these dear, regardless of my opinion on the writing itself. Wow, sentimental value is real.

no. 1 // THE HOUSE OF ROT

{I wrote this during some mental episode, it reeks of religious delusions. I'm very glad that I've not roped anyone else into them, and even more pleased that they haven't come about recently. I'm not sure if it's poetry specifically, but it exists, so it goes here. First page of my diary, oddly enough. The prose is extremely rushed, I was probably immediately sick of writing but needed the concept out of my head.}

The House of Rot is a place of deep hedonism and faux luxury. Insect colonies feast and breed as far as the eye can see; they are welcomed. Detachef faces line the halls, or the main hall, other halls having bloodied and rusted weapons lining them.

THE DEVIL REVEALS TO MY EYE

I HAVE INVOKED THE MORNINGSTAR TO DO HIS BIDDING AND ASCEND TO GODHOOD

THE FOUR-FINGWRWD SHIFTING HAND REACHES OUT TO MW

DOWN WITH HAPLESS HUMANITY,

RISE A NEW DAWN

THE MORNINGSTAR GUIDES MY HAND

I AM NYLASOR, THIS WORLD'S DARK MESSIAH

The Morningstar listens but does not guide my shadow, not yet. Shadow drags soul.

A flayed man hung by his own intestines and children and kids eating rotted meat.

no. 2 // Semicolon

{This one is drawn out and I have no explanation for it. Oh, wait, yes I do. I was high, apparently, as the page says.}

The irony of carving a semicolon into your own flesh is that it is a visual representation of a future that, for myself, is inevitable; i've promised myself to stay alive and heal. One of these days, I'll promise that to myself again, the next of my "last" times, I'll carve that oath a little too deep in a little too risky an area.

Then, it'll all be over. Everything ends, but I believe my end is the instantaneous beginning and end of my healing. It's not my way out, but a way forward. True peace exists only amongst the nonexistent, of whom lend it to us to do all the envying and fearing of their total nothingness. Soon, I will be envied and feared. Soon, "I" won't be "me" anymore.

Soon, it'll all be over.

Any day now.

Any day.

no. 3 // Stones and Glass Houses

{I randomly thought of the phrase "girls in glass houses shouldn't throw stones" and spiraled. I was high.}

There was a time in which I longed to be perceived. Oh, to be observed like a rare insect trapped in glass.

I know what it is like to live in one such glass enclosure. However, mine is a labyrinth of sparkling, perfect glass, not a jar or a bottle. I throw stones from deep wirhin my labyrinth; I await the day one of those stones are thrown right back. Will it bounce off, or will it leave an ever-expanding hairline scratch?

Perhaps my labyrinth will shatter upon impact. It does not matter. No matter the stone or the throw or the thickness of the glass, I will one day collapse under the oppressive, crumbling ruins of my crystalline haven. No matter whar I do, I am past the point of no return.

No matter how pitifully I weep, my body will soon be cut to pieces in my most sacred sanctuary. The stones I threw started out as innocent little pebbles. But, at my mature age, I have had a conflicting epiphany; perhaps I should have built a fortress out of stone and not glass... Perhaps I simply shouldn't have been throwing stones to begin with.

no. 4 // To Kill

{I was being a little mentally silly here.}

To kill is to offer assent and rebirth.

To bring new fire is to bring a new burden.

To die is to take on a new face.

To live is to rot.

To grieve is to sustain the burden of memory.

To forget is to steal away the joy of that which is demented.

To be bereaved is to be cast into uncharted waters, to become the cartographer of a new fate.

It is to create a new civilization, a new settlement.

It is to die and to be born again without resurrection, without reincarnation.

It is to sing sad poems from such an intimately familiar place, to writhe and to weep.

no. 5 // Run

Start running,

To the edge of that cliff,

Where no one will stop you from falling,

Where you will land on the bones of the decimated,

Where you will face the sin of creation,

The sin of destruction.

no. 6 // Pitiful Youth

Oh, the youthful need to be loved, used, and abused. Like a budding flower being plucked at the root before it ever has a chance to blossom, wilt, and germinate; never afforded the privilege of filling its surrounding environs with its sweetness; destined to die in a dusty, forgotten vase, a lost symbol of hope, light, and affection.

no. 7 // Brain Glitch Girl

With lips pressed to my ears,

Howling ragged screams,

My mind folds thrice over,

Failing to remember dreams.

'Tis my armor like a ripper to seams,

Sabotaging a library more vast than Alexandria,

An intimately familiar and ever-potent bacteria.

The salts sew and mend the seams,

But when all is said and done,

I've nothing left but daydreams.

no. 8 // Double Fissure, Single Suture

{I'm fairly certain this was to be a song at one point, but I'm too stupid for music programs and I smoke. It is about my delusions that there are multiple people occupying my brain.}

I need to crack open your ribs,

Sew my soul into your skin,

All so you can't part from me again,

We are inseparable, ineffable,

You are inevitable, stay the fuck out of our head,

Whisper-screaming and static-filled screens,

Would it kill you to remember my dreams?

We can't see hope or light,

We can't tell wrong from right,

But we can solve this with a blood sacrifice tonight,

We are inseperable, ineffable,

You are inevitable, why's there duality in my head?

Am I god?

Will I ascend?

Can I cause this secluded world to end?

Am I god?

I am God!

I'll show the burning world what I've wrought,

Is there a use for you?

Or are you just here to confuse?

I can't be fooled by my own psyche,

You can't bring about my expiry,

Stitch the body up,

I'll feel your sweet purity,

And I'll one day drown you in my obscurity.

[halfhumanhalfasleep]

I bet I could write a sentence that took up a whole page. I bet I could do it.  I don’t really want to though, to be completely honest. I feel like if I tried, I would be so set on making the sentence long that I wouldn’t even think about what I was saying, and frankly I feel that it’s really important for someone (no matter whether they think they’re writing for posterity, or for an assignment, or even just writing random whatevers in a loose file on the internet ((is google docs technically on the internet?? I mean it’s in the cloud or something?)), to really take care and be mindful of the things they are saying when they write, or in my case at the moment, type because you never know what might get preserved in the historical record, and it really makes you think about how people in the past might not have even thought that their works and writings and silly little scribbles about who-likes-who or how terribly shitty a certain unnamed merchant’s copper is would be preserved for people to see thousands of years later, and maybe if they thought it would they would have been more artificial, more of a contrived (god, I love reading Agatha Christie books, I get so many fun vocabulary words to use) version of themselves, which goes to show that it’s very important for people to behave as naturally as they can, and damn the historians, because they probably would much rather learn about people as they really were, rather than if everyone behaved like a modern version of the “we don’t smile for our photographs” Victorian folks who insisted on appearing very poised, so as you can see, not only can I write the world’s longest run-on sentence—the use of which has been a great comfort to me in my time of confusion and frustration as I try to sort out my feelings about the unending labyrinth that is The Job Search (and then avoid those feelings entirely to write about history)—but I can also, by the clicking of my keyboard, change my entire point and argument I was making into something completely different, and indeed antithetical to my original point which was, if you remember, about people behaving properly, or rather at least conducting themselves in a way they could be proud of (such as writing ridiculously long sentences for example) (the laws of grammar are my bitches and they can fight me to the death) were some future person or being (sorry aliens) come across evidence they had left behind, but I, squeezing the gasping life out of the Comma who does not deserve to bear this unholy weight, have used my terrible disregard for anything any English teacher has ever said to shift my original premise one hundred and eighty degrees, confounding anyone who has eyes, ensuring the certain death of any poor soul who might attempt to read this monstrosity aloud—there, I combined two words into one for brevity’s sake—and earning myself the shining achievement of a cramp in my hand. I could fight God right now

[mysteryman-17]

I honestly don't have the drive to write up the associated dialogue for this one right now (have been prepping some other stuff outta order,) but I'll try to come back to it at some point!

Time’s End is an AHIT/Undertale crossover AU of sorts, taking place in the aftermath of a timeline where you lose the final boss fight against Mustache Girl. You can find the write-up here! In addition to the AO3 link being updated with lots of new material, you can also find the write-ups for the Neutral Endings and TimeWarp Route requirements over on Google Docs! The logo for Time's End was designed by @bittybattybunny. She's an incredible artist, be sure to check out their work here on Tumblr and over on Twitter!!

Mustache Girl takes on a hybrid Asgore and Asriel role, and her Palace acts as the New Home replacement. Hat Kid also takes the role of Sans. Bow Kid has come a long way by this point in the story, and as she makes her way through the labyrinth to Mu and her Time Pieces (her final step to being able to go home,) many of the people of this world are there to greet our protagonist. We may know the basics of what got everyone in this mess, but much like UT itself, here is where the ill-fated clash between Mu and Hat Kid is unveiled to its full extent.

Motifs:

Get Lost (modified)

Main Theme/Title Screen

Time Rift Story Book (Synth Jam)

Alternate Death Wish Time Sphere Loop (scrapped AHIT track)

The End (chords)

So... my first ever Track 71 replacement, and it's the one for Time's End (and will prolly be the longest single track posted for this AU to boot!) Wish I'd been able to finish this in time for Undertale's 7th anniversary, but oh well. Consider this my late contribution to the party! XD Also ye, I didn't wanna just go with "haha track 71's name is the same as the AU name," so I came up with smth different lol. Anyhow. The variety of motifs for Mustache Girl and Hat Kid in AHIT proper are... well, rather lacking when it comes to building a track like this to say the least, especially as far as the latter is concerned. Judge Jury and Executioner also just wasn't gonna cut it as a melody this time though I did use some of its general stylings in the backing, so I had to REALLY play around with the motifs I used to get things to fit the vibe I wanted here - including another modification of Get Lost as the "Memory" stand-in. I even included an essentially original motif that I made a year ago from building on top of Time Rift Story Book's very basic chords. The results definitely paid off here though, and I'm incredibly happy with how this turned out! The particular key change I did on the final section was very much a happy accident, and so many things just wound up coming together far nicer than I first thought, especially where my most bonkers motif choices are concerned. (Btw yes, considering how simple it is, this means I'll try to do the Memory replacement fairly soon-ish.) All my ramblings aside though, I hope you guys enjoy! :)

You can also listen to this track in high quality on the AU’s SoundCloud here! (Recommend it with this one moreso than any other track I’ve posted so far. Had to REALLY squash the bitrate, in comparison to the raw WAV file on SC, to make Tumblr take it due to the sheer length XP)

[fantasyfan]

Coming Out: Nico di Angelo Oneshot

Summary: Nico summons Bianca to talk to her, and ends up spilling a lot more than he intended to. Characters: Nico and Bianca di Angelo, Hades Slightly angsty

(I apologize in advance if I get any Italian wrong, or put the words in the wrong place. I only used two words, but Google Translate was used for both of them.)  There also might be some italics missing, since I copy pasted from Google Docs, so apologies and if you think an italic is needed, reply to the post or smthn and I’ll add it. 

Without further ado, here it is!

12-year-old Nico sat on his bed, head in his hands. The Labyrinth was gone, and the battle was over, gone and over like all the praise he received. 

For once, Nico had been a part of the camp; he’d sat around the campfire, eaten and laughed, having fun. 

But all it took was a week for the excitement to die down, and the other campers became wary of him.

He was only 12, for Gods’ sake! Why were they so scared? Sure, he was a son of Hades, but Percy was a son of Poseidon (and older than himself, Nico might add), yet they all gushed over him.

This annoyed Nico to no end, so eventually, he found his way to his father’s palace, back to his old room. The one Hades had offered him after he ran away from Camp Half-Blood. 

The room was hardly touched. Nico had only spent a few days here before running off, trying to find a way to bring his sister back. 

Of course he’d been convinced to let her rest at peace. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to talk to her.

“Bianca,” he greeted softly, reaching out to touch her before drawing his hand back, reminding himself he couldn’t. 

“Nico,” Bianca smiled, brushing ghostly lips over his forehead. “Mio fratello.”

Nico closed his eyes and leaned into the touch, trying to imagine that Bianca was really here with him, in a physical body instead of a ghostly one.

Sighing, he sat back down on the bed. Bianca was here, able to talk to him at least. He couldn’t resurrect her, so speaking to her was the next best option. 

His mind subconsciously piece things together and he had a horrible thought. Panic shot through him as he jumped up and tried to grab Bianca by her shoulders, hands falling right through her image.

Gritting his teeth, Nico crammed his hands into his pockets and instead fixed Bianca with the most serious gaze he could muster.

“Are you going to reincarnate?” Though they were hidden from sight, deep in his jean pockets, Nico’s hands were clenched tightly into fists, knuckles white. In his head, he said a prayer to the Gods who screwed up his life so badly, hoping with all his might that his sister would say no. 

“Oh Nico,” Bianca began, looking at him regretfully, eyes filled with sadness. 

That was all the answer he needed. Trying to control his panic and the tears threatening to form, Nico clenched his hands even tighter. Nails cut into skin, and the son of Hades could feel blood seeping out from underneath his fingers. Even worse than that was the fact that even Nico himself could feel the absolute fear radiating off him. 

If Bianca reincarnated, then he would fully, truly, lose her. She was his only family, and Nico felt tears pricking his eyes at the thought of being completely alone.

“Don’t.” It was all he said, biting his lip to try and keep the tears from escaping.

Bianca stared at him in surprise, and Nico realized what he just said probably sounded like to his sister. 

Reminding himself that no matter what he wanted, it was his sister’s (regretfully ended, now ghost) life, and he couldn’t guilt her into staying in Elysium forever, just so he could be happy.

“Don’t answer my question,” Nico whispered, voice cracking. 

It was what he meant, when he said ‘Don’t’ but certainly not what he wanted. “Don’t tell me, Bianca. Not now, and not before you go.” 

Breathing sharply, his nails were now digging even deeper into the wounds they had inflicted. The pain was the tipping point for the tears that had been gathering in his eyes, and he began to cry, biting his tongue in a fruitless attempt to hold them back.

Gasping as he unclenched his fists, Nico drew his hands out of his pockets. There were four cuts on his right palm, each around the size of a fingernail. Identical wounds were on his left hand, and Nico bit his lip, watching as blood slowly seeped out, crimson red against his pale skin.

“Nico!” Bianca frowned, biting her lip in concern as she reached out for his injuries before realizing she couldn’t help.

That gesture hurt even more than his palms, and Nico clenched his teeth to keep his silent tears at that volume.

Trying to still his desperately shaking hands, Nico pulled open the nightstand drawer. Inside were squares of ambrosia and bottles of nectar that Hades had put for him, and Nico silently thanked his father. 

Pouring the golden liquid over his hands, Nico could feel cuts slowly closing, and the physical pain was soon gone with the injuries. 

Emotional hurt was harder to fix, and usually couldn’t be resolved with Gods’ food. That didn’t mean Nico wouldn’t try though, so he lifted the bottle to his mouth and took careful sips of the golden liquid. 

Pulling some ambrosia out as well, he slowly ate it, restricting himself so he didn’t accidentally burn up from consuming too much of the Gods’ food.

By the time Nico was done, the yellow square was gone, as was about half the bottle of nectar. Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he looked back at his sister, who had patiently waited while her brother silently sobbed while taking swigs of nectar and bites of ambrosia. 

She was sitting on the bed next to him, handout of pure spite and anger, he cursed that Bianca was able to touch the bed but not him.

Using the (now) healed palm of his hand to brush away stray tears, Nico cleared his throat. 

“Bianca, since um, you’re not, uh, not,” his voice cracked and he stumbled over his words, but Nico forged on. “Since you’re not going to be here much longer, I figured I might as well make the most out of this time.” 

Before Bianca could say something to comfort him, Nico blurted it out. “I’m gay.” 

A ghost of a smile appeared on his sister’s face, and she reached out as if to touch his face, cup it with her hands like she used to.

“It’s okay, mio fratello.” She moved closer to him, and Nico could swear he felt her breath by his ear. “I am too,” Bianca breathed. 

Nico managed to somehow choke on nothing, beginning to gasp and wheeze as he clawed at his throat. Vigorously coughing, he stared at his sister in shock as he pounded his chest, trying to get air in.

Bianca nearly burst out in raucous laughter, but with a lot of struggling, she managed to keep it to a few quiet giggles. 

When he was finally able to speak, Nico simply choked out, “You are?” before blushing so hard he looked like he was still choking. 

“Yes, Nico, I am.” Binaca smiled, though looked slightly concerned at his reddening face and so pointed to the bottle of nectar on the drawer. 

Nico took a sip of the drink, letting the cool liquid run down his tortured throat, which hurt like hell from his (concerningly long) coughing fit.

Bianca snarkily pointed to the closet while her brother drank, smirking. “Do you want to try this the proper way?” she asked, batting her eyelashes innocently.

Nico rolled his eyes but complied, chuckling as he slipped into the closet. He stayed there for a good minute before bursting out, wearing a colourful pride shirt with many accessories.

“I’m gay, Gods dammit!” he screeched, looking like a rainbow in the cemetery, with his messy black hair and pale skin. 

Bianca burst out laughing at the thought, proudly watching her brother as ghostly tears (Ghosts can cry. Who knew?) threatened to trickle down her cheeks.

“I’m not going to ask where you got those things,” she smiled, pretending to brush an unruly curl from his forehead. The two of them ignored the fact that the hair stayed right where it was when her hand passed straight through it.

“Nico, go show Hades. Tell him.” Nico’s eyes widened and his mouth hung open like a fish’s. Bianca smiled again, her brother’s facial features hilarious. “Nico, I’m serious though. Come on, before your courage wanes.” 

“Why should I tell him?” Nico asked, scoffing as he turned away. The two had been chatting for a few minutes about all the troubles of being gay when Bianca ruined the mood by demanding he tell their father.

“Nico.” His sister’s voice forced him to look at her, straight into translucent eyes. “I’m not your only family. When I’m gone, you still have Hades.” She chose not to add the part about how Camp Half-Blood could be his family too, if he let them get closer. One step at a time.

“Hades,” Nico snarled, putting as much venom as he could in the name, “killed our mother. Hades put us in this situation.”

He knew that neither of those were true, but said them anyway; truthfully, he was just scared, finding excuses so he wouldn’t have to tell his father.

“Nico,” Bianca sighed quietly. Eyebrows raising for a second as she began to fade, Bianca quickly understood what was happening.“You’ve summoned me for far too long already, I have to go.” Nico let out a strangled sound, restraining himself from reaching out to try and keep her here with him, because he knew it would be useless. 

“It was lovely talking to you again, and I’m sure that Father will say the same when you tell him.” Nico’s lips thinned and he frowned, and Bianca knew that look well. “Please, for me, mio fratello?” She asked, voice barely audible as she faded away, back in Elysium.

Nico could never resist it when his sister spoke in Italian. It would only be used when she was expressing extreme admiration or happiness, which was why he absolutely melted when Bianca called him ‘mio fratello.’ 

That was also why he was tugging on a jacket to cover his pride shirt, buttons, pins, and bracelets as he went to find Hades.

Besides, what kind of brother would he be if he didn’t grant his sister’s last, true, dying wish? Nico felt like Bianca had been waiting for him to summon her one last time before choosing to be reborn. To let them have one more conversation before she was truly gone.

Pushing that thought away, Nico wandered the halls of Hades’ vast palace, looking in every room for the God himself.

“Father?” Nico finally picked the right room, opening the door to find Hades in a chair, reading a book.

“Yes?” He didn’t even bother to look up from whatever he was reading, and that slightly deflated Nico’s already waning confidence. 

“I have something to tell you.” Anxiously shifting from foot to foot in the doorway, Nico awaited his father’s response. 

Eyebrows raising by a fraction, Hades raised a hand, beckoning his son into the room. Nervously shuffling in, Nico stood a good meter away from the God of the Underworld, afraid. 

Not that the distance would do much since, well, Hades was the God of the Underworld.

“Do continue,” his father drawled, idly flipping a page as he spoke. 

“It’s kind of a serious confession,” Nico mumbled, almost visibly shaking from having to restrain himself from turning tail and running, as well as the feeling of absolute terror bubbling in his stomach.

Still not bothering to look up, Hades rolled two fingers, gesturing for him to continue.

“I’m...g-ga-” Nico stuttered, already feeling his face heat up. It took him a good minute to compose himself and finish his short sentence, during which Hades hardly blinked an eye at the awkwardness. “I’m gay,” he finally managed to choked out, voice barely above a whisper.

Immediately, Nico began to panic. His dad was the literal God of the Underworld, so even if he died, then he could still be sent to the Fields of Punishment. Afterall, who cared about the small Italian boy enough to argue with a God?

Bianca cares, he reminded himself. But she’s dead, you idiot! She’s a ghost, and going to be reborn soon. If you go to the Field of Punishment, what will she be able to do?

Panic overwhelmed him, and Nico was on the verge of hyperventilating. Until his father spoke and somehow calmed every nerve in his body.

“Okay.” That was it. One syllable to assure Nico that everything was alright. His breathing slowed, but he wasn’t so easily convinced that Hades was okay with him being gay.

“Father, I don’t think you heard me properly. Perhaps you were distracted with reading? I said I was gay.” Unzipping his jacket, Nico let it fall to the floor and made wild gestures at his clothes and accessories. 

“Nico, I heard you fine. What’s your confession?” Hades’ eyes flicked up but he hardly seemed surprised at the rainbow wear, going back to read his book right after looking.

“I…” Nico stared in disbelief. Was Hades just dismissing his coming out as if it were a regular occurrence? Dismissing the fact that he was gay as though it hadn’t been something that Nico had fought tooth and nail to keep secret?

“Nico?” The God prompted, flipping another page.

“That’s it. That was the confession,” Nico whispered. “I’m gay. That’s the confession.” For the first time in their (admittedly short) conversation, Hades properly looked up from his book, frowning at Nico. 

“That’s your confession?”

The boy silently nodded, looking at his feet. “Well, I...I thought you’d be mad or something.” 

“Mad at the fact you’re gay.” Hades (somehow) looked Nico in the eyes (even though he was staring at the floor as though it were the most interesting thing in the world) for confirmation, and he nodded again.

Sighing, Hades closed his book and stood, gently placing a hand on his son’s shoulder. “It’s okay. I’m not and won’t be mad.” 

“Really?” NIco gasped, looking up at him with shining eyes.

“Of course,” Hades scoffed. “There’s no way you can be more gay than Apollo, and he’s been my nephew for thousands of years.” He paused for a second before summoning a chair. “That reminds me. You are long overdue for a Greek Mythology review if you think that I, a Greek God, would have a problem with a gay son.”

[skypied]

First fic of yours that comes to mind, go! Talk about it! Gimme snippet!!

*screams in fear and drops all my scattered google docs on the ground*

(don’t get ur hopes up too much I’m using this as an excuse to talk process bc I don’t have snippies sowwieeee)

I'm kind of uuuuh in a weird place where I do have several wips that I know where are going and I know I can finish in a productive night or two, it’s just about sitting down and doing it. (And most of them I’ve shared from before, or are too short to be any point in sharing from, ehe)

But recently I've managed to... idk, free myself from some of the hopes and expectations I have of myself that have been holding me back? Hard to explain but I get stuck in weird mental labyrinths that honestly from the outside makes little sense. It's littered with tiny obstacles of logic like plot or characterization but is actually really about this weird chip on my shoulder that I want to write 1) a bigger story and 2) something Meaningful. But it's completely stopped my brain from being able to do Anything.

So now I'm like. Unless something appears in my brain that I just have to chase, I'm forcing myself to just write simple things I want to and not stress about what it is or if it’s going to become anything at all. Kind of just. Getting back to fic just being for fun and a nice sunny distraction from the desolate hellscape that is winter.

which is why my recent rabbit hole is writing throwaway scenes from some sort of modern human AU where the boys are in a long distance almost-relationship because it just removes all the logistical problems I run into. No wondering about how accepted sea monsters really are, or how their transformations work, or whether they'd actually live their lives on land or not; no wondering about what would actually be best for them wrt living and working or studying where or when; no fretting about whether to incorporate the existential dread about being queer in that time period; no vaguely bad conscience over how little research I'm willing to do to build a compelling world.

Just dumb teenage boys texting in class and mourning Alberto's phone (which he dropped overboard bc Luca sent him nudes) by sending F in the chat, and Daniela wondering if her son sells his used underwear online, and Luca getting stuck in shame spirals browsing cute brunette twinks on Instagram and being sure Alberto's just playing with him and worrying if he's too easy for being head over heels with this guy he had a summer fling with.

Just pure fucking dumbassery to utilize all the stupid memes that live in my brain rent free. And that's what makes it nice and fun aaaand I’m not gonna share anything yet bc I’m enjoying just fooling around with it and seeing what happens! It’s fun though and somehow it will prooooobably find it’s way into the world, just need time to figure out what it is, even if that might just be some fragmented scenes 🎉 i’ve literally only been working on it for three days so it’s still early!

[botwstoriesandsuch]

im loving the history lesson posts!!! what are you're thoughts on the ruins in Tabantha? based on the memory near the skywatchers and the shrine quests in the region, the stone ruins in tabantha existed about 10,000 years ago and were destroyed or vacated and left to crumble. but the stone structures contrast heavily with the wooden architecture of Rito Village? bUT if i'm remembering correctly the song lyrics go "pride of the rito/pillar to the sky" so the rito stone and tabantha itself has (1)

Ok first off, I AM SO SORRY! I read this ask months ago and I worked on it in my google docs and then I was going pure theory mode and then another person sent in another ask about ruins and I was getting all excited so basically long story short I got so caught up in making a masterlist of all the ruins that I completely forgot about this ask until now... So anon I apologize for the terrible wait but hopefully you’ll still enjoy what I have in planned. 

You’ve given me a lot to work with so I’m going to break this up into several posts based on your asks. I’m gonna post them on different days becauseeeee content management, schedules, things.....I’m lazy and also if I posted all my thoughts in one post it would be like a giant book with zero pacing so

[Today] Thoughts on the Ancient Columns and the Ruins of Tabantha

[Some time later idk when I post it I’ll shove the link here] The Effects of the Calamity on the Rito and People of Hyrule

The Relationship between Skywatcher Locations and the Cunning of Calamity Ganon

Buckled in ladies, lads, and gentlefolk? It’s time for a history lesson, Part 1 o’ Trois. So today here is

Ancient Ruins, Architectural Parallels, and the Probable Worship of the Fae

So! Let’s start with the ruins of Tabantha. Specifically, the Ancient Columns. 

Anon you’re correct in that these ruins are over 10,000 years old. We can not only gather this from the fact that their condition is the same even 100 years ago, meaning they have to be older than a century (see their crumbled state and similar moss patterns) but also from direct lines from the Creating a Champion (CaC) book itself. 

However, I’m inclined to believe (for several reasons that I’m going to get into) that these ruins have nothing to do with the “pillar in the sky” as mentioned in the Rito songs. For one, the pillar of Rito village is of an entirely different architectural style, given that it looks like the natural work of wind erosion. And for another, the existence of the Rito village pillar has to have been much younger, around 100 years old, in order to coincide with the Sheikah Shrine quest, as the Sheikah platform thingy has to correlate with the characteristics of the pillar’s shape. Ergo, ergo, ergo, the “pillar in the sky” isn’t 10,000 years old and has no correlation with the Ancient Columns.

Ok so! Back to the actual ruins themselves and what we can analyze from them. 

Circled above is every instance of ruins in the Tabantha region. Although I should specify that I’m talking about the Ancient Hylian ruins, as that is the type that is most notably scattered across this area. 

We know that all these ruins are off the same civilization because of their style and material. 

[Remember this picture for later^^]

In addition, we can also tell from ruin maps in the CaC book that these ruins are from the same Hylian civilization, as well as the important detail that these ruins were centered around the Goddess. 

Citing that other screenshot at the beginning on the Ancient Hylian Culture, these ruins were built around the same time as the Sacred Springs, so I think it’s safe to assume that these ruins had a religious purpose.  

But I can take this one step further! Up until now, all this information has been based on interpretations from the botw ruins and official info alone, but if we take into account the real life counterparts/parallels, I can prove the exact purpose to what these ruins are for!

Firstly, these ruins are obviously inspired by architecture in Ancient Greece, and other old Empires (like the Romans and Byzantines) across the Mediterranean. 

We also know that the ruins are constructed out of limestone. One, because moss is able to grow on it, so it is unlikely that it is marble. And two, we can see the actual limestone texture when seeing the broken parts of certain columns and walls. 

[and kinda quick side note here: but the existence of large limestone rich structures 10,000 years ago gives more credit to the theory that Botw takes place after a large flood, notably the events of Wind Waker. One, because limestone is a material mined near the sea, as seen with the Island of Paros and Naxos for the Ancient Greeks. And Two, this ancient sea was directly mentioned in the description for botw rock salt. And also Three, this explains the weird placement of certain structures, such as the buildings placed on suspended and isolated rocky plateaus like the ones I showed earlier by the Skywatchers. So there’s your mini theory which kinda proves that the Tanagar Canyon was probably an ocean trench at one point and it also still proves my connection of the Ancient Hylian ruins being parallels to the Ancient Greeks and all that because...ocean. Greece, peninsula, hundreds of islands, lots of quarries in Hyrule by the sea. Akkala is by the sea, there’s quarries, also the islands with mining equipment like Tingle Island. You get it by now right?]

Anyway. Greeks, Romans, polytheistic gods, temples for sacrifices, limestone, yadayadayada. Safe to assume that these Hylian ruins were of a civilization centered around a temple of some sort worshiping a powerful being, or beings, such Hylia. Hurray! Theory seems done.

BUT!

I can take it

A step FURTHER!!!

You see, I was originally gonna leave this post at that. The Ancient Columns are of an Ancient Hylian civilization 10,000 years ago that worshiped some higher powers. “Great!” I think to myself. “Time to get all my screenshots so that my ADHD followers wont die immediately” 

But but but! As I was spending an hour or so getting said screenshots, I took this picture right here and came across a revelation so bright you could have placed a light bulb over my head... 

A pretty enough capture, got a nice aerial view of the ruins, the suspended island thing in the middle of the path... nice view of Tanagar Canyon and the Ancient Columns, the sunset is all pretty and—Oh hey! The Great Fairy Fountain is there. Heh, that’s nice. You know it’s kinda weird that it’s just plopped right in the middle of all these Ancient ruin and temp—

BAadaBing, badaBoom, ladies, lads, and gentlefolk! I’m here to tell ya that these giant fae ladies were once worshiped by 10,000 year old Hylian civilizations. And not just this fairy mind you, but all four of them.

First piece of evidence? The proximity of 10,000 year old structures to every Great Fairy. Mind you, these are the most rare type of ruin in the game. 90% of the ruins are of settlements destroyed 100 years ago by the Calamity, and then the other 10% is still divide up between the Ancient Sheikah and Zonai. So I find it quite interesting that almost every case these special ruined civilizations are near a Great Fairy. [Uh, spoilers for all the Great Fairy locations btw]

First, of course, you got the Great Fairy in Tabantha. 

Then you got the one in Akkala, by the Torrin Wetlands (again, the highlights in yellow are of the canonical 10,000 year old Hylian ruins)

The Lanayru Promenade isn’t even up for debate at this point....I mean it was the parade ground for the ceremony up to the Spring of Wisdom. How much more “Ancient Hylian” can you get then that?

The only kinda iffy one is the Great Fairy in the Gerudo desert, but even THEN this fairy is by two out of the three only instances of 10,000 year old ruins in the entire desert, the third instance being the Zonai labyrinth. 

But, sure. Correlation might not equal causation. But I think the picture becomes all the more clear when you take a look at the timeline of events!

Note that no one in Hyrule really knows what the fairies are all about. Sure, you got that one researched in Tabantha that knew about one of them, and some of the elders in Kakariko had a sort of understanding that a fairy was their neighbor. However, their stance was that of wariness and caution, and they very much did not worship or give offerings to them. Dorian, for example explicitly shows suspicion towards the fairy, and thinks they might be dangerous. (Which, to be fair, is valid if you’ve ever read ANYTHING about the fae)

My point is, people don’t know what the Great Fairies are, or what their powers, motives, or *anything* really are. Sure, 100 years might have passed, but it would be pretty hard to forget something as eye catching as the fae. The people of Hyrule can remember century old white horses, cook books, treasure locations, ancient songs, and vague legends, but the majority of them don’t know about the Giant (seriously, it’s right in the name) Fairy Fountains?!

That is, of course, under the assumption that the Great Fairies existence was known 100 years ago. But what if it wasn’t?

You might be inclined to assume that the fairies lost their power because the Calamity prevented them from getting offerings 100 years ago, but in truth, there is no evidence whatsoever saying that their lack of power originated at the rise of Calamity. 

It’s entirely likely that they haven’t been sitting around for 100 years, but 10,000, or even more. It explains why no one knows anything about them, and also their proximity to the ruins. 

A beautiful spring you say? You power is directly correlated to offerings you say? 

Gee if only there was some ancient civilization that existed a long time ago, that has ties to old religious practices, temples, and polytheistic, which has parallels to the Ancient Greeks and Romans who build their civilizations centering around certain gods and offerings to said powers, and also if only these said civilizations were nearby to all of the fae oh WAIT!

Even when Link gives his offerings, the results are only that of the Great Fairy Fountain blooming, not an entire spring. Could an entire spring existed long ago, providing for the hundreds or thousands of people who worshiped the fae? Who’s to say that these old 10,000 year old civilizations gave offerings to the fae not only for the magic and all that, but for the vitality and life that they provide? Who’s to say that those earlier relief arts of warriors on chariots were of people with enhanced armour. Fairies that give you magic defense would be quit helpful for a civilization that liked to battle... the possibilities are endless....

TL;DR, the Ancient Columns, along with the other 10,000 year old Hylian structures, were constructed for religious purposes, centering around the Great Fairies, who accepted their offerings in exchange for the vitality of their springs, as well as their enchantments. 

So! That’s that. Can you believe this is just me tackling only one aspect of anon’s ask? I realize that the majority of the ask was about the Rito but...oops! That’s why I split it into parts. [When I post the other posts I’ll update the contents at the top to link to them]

A like and reblog is appreciated! I spent too long on this, including an extra week because tumblr deleted my original draft which was much longer... so if you liked it, let me know! It’d be nice to know that my time didn’t completely go to waste, :P Anyhow thanks for reading all this

[shadowtongued]

𝐏𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝟗 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐚 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫.

this was SO MUCH fun i spent all day on it and was pretty hard since sliske is already his own thing, but there ARE indeed characters my own interpretation of him plays off of since jagex shoveled his characterization into a garbage disposal post TWW.

𝐈.   ·   𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐈𝐁𝐀𝐋 :  anyone who has spent some time as a mutual knows i relate sliske a lot to dr. lecter. it’s the cold, cunning, and charming with and ability to measure ones steps without faltering. the ability to lure someone in with polite, harmless demeanor, only to RIP the carpet out from under them with some of the most scathing, deep insults from all the things he’s gleaned from your psych. the soft analytical approach and patience to wait for things to fall into place. also, neither of these fuckers BLINK often enough and remain fixated on their prey eerily. this includes book lecter which, imo, was p superior in magnificent little details. 

𝐈𝐈.    ·     𝐕 : i am a simple woman, i see an enigmatic anti-hero with knives and smooth moves and i go ‘ooh ahh’. v was a real showman with a mask and worked very cloak and dagger, his personality almost too happy and charismatic despite the domino effects he had planned, much like sliske. i wouldn’t call sliske an anti-hero but he had his moments of bringing about cruel but deserved justice to a few individuals who deserved it and even in endgame, made sure people were very aware of some of the lesser gods flaws and hidden crimes. plus uh, knives man. the knife fighting holy shit.

𝐈𝐈𝐈.    ·     𝐉𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐇 : c’mon, who am i if i don’t put the only man who wore a collar maybe bigger than sliske? even as a kid i was really just taken by the goblin king. i mean just look at the dude. the fandom has already made enough jareth comparisons to sliske and goddamn i’m glad. the outfits, the labyrinths, optical illusions, the slight of hand tricks, enigma and soreness over love. plus i just love bowie and theres not a day i don’t miss him with immense fondness. :c

𝐈𝐕.    ·     𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐑 (𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐕𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐀𝐍𝐓) :  have you seen the show? good, then you literally have the majority of my interpretation of sliske’s personality. playful, charismatic, subtly suggestive, and hiding a really emotional side ft. bad temper. sliske is a lot like lucifer in the sense of only living for the pleasure of life and all it holds with a rich sense of hedonism to fill a void of complex emotions and spite under that mask. plus his human glamor just looks so similar, even before i started watching ( and still need to catch up. :/c )

  𝐕.    ·     𝐃𝐎𝐂𝐓𝐎𝐑 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄 : i’mma be real with y’all. i know jack shit abt doc strange outside the mar.v.el movie(s), which if i had the time to sink into comics i would bc i just like the aesthetic of the magic and the world he is in. i may have only seen the movie but the magic is a wet dream of what i WISH magic in runescape looked like. which at one point in concept arts, the whole magic circles shit WAS supposed to be canon but design/graphics restraints kept it from being real. sliske also heavily uses illusions, projection, and the psych in his magic. plus the outfit. the cape, the collar, y’know?

𝐕𝐈.    ·     𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐑 ( 𝐁𝐈𝐁𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐋 𝐕𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐀𝐍𝐓 ) : gee channy, why does sliske get (2) versions of lucifer? bc i said so. i rambled about this comparison in this post , tl:dr;  lucifer wanted free thought, individualism, and self pride before god found this an offense and cast him out. hmm that’s really familiar, innit?

𝐕𝐈𝐈.    ·     𝐌𝐄𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐏𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐒 : okay yes, this is quasi-“devil” entry number three, but good old mephistopheles the demon is very campy, germanic devil in jester flavor who tempts and manipulates you.... with humor because he can sense you’re on the path to hell anyways. plus his name means “scatterer or plasterer of lies”. that’s metal as fuck. google him, look at his smile and nubby little horns and tell me that’s not sliske.

𝐕𝐈𝐈𝐈.    ·     𝐆𝐑𝐈𝐌 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐏𝐄𝐑 : death man in hood and shadows who comes to collect your soul and might take a deal to let you live longer just fits the bill. have you seen grim in all the old paintings? shadowy, wraithy, ominous? yeah, you get it.

𝐈𝐗.    ·     𝐇𝐄𝐗𝐗𝐔𝐒 : your honor, i ain’t explaining shit. i plead the fucking fifth. if you’ve fuckin’ seen it, you know.  ( mr. curry sir, this is a children’s film but PLEASE go on i guess. )

tagged by: @sylvansoldier ! ♥ tagging: IDK STEAL IT PLEASE, just don’t ramble like i did.

[stuntgirlatthevampiremansion]

Thank you so much @satans-helper @woman-ina-dream for tagging me on this get to know me prompt. Yall rock 💜💕

Nicknames: kai and thais

Zodiac: aquarius sun, leo rising, libra moon, sag venus and thats all i can remember ☺️

Height: 5’5’’

Hogwarts house: ravenclaw

Last thing i googled: young mick jagger (to prove a point)

Do you get asks: sometimes. But not often

Amount of sleep: who knows man?? My sleeping habits are a mess.

Lucky number: 17

What are you wearing: black leggins, a star wars shirt, and vans

Dream trip: i really want to have a friend show me their home country and culture. I dont really care where, but i feel like that would be a very cute trip :) i would also love to have the opportinity to just travel for like a month/year straight. No schedule, no destination. Just collecting experiences

Instruments: microphone (i also learned the recorder when i was little but that doesnt count)

Languages: spanish and english

Favorite songs: this is too much pressure i cant answer

Random fact: my cat saved my life once

Aesthetic: splattered paint, docs, and molotov cocktails, whisperings from the woods at night, the ocean under the stars (my friends say im the “artist punk alien activist”)

A L S O

3 random facts tag:

1. I want to become a tattoo artist

2. My dream is to join a band

3. I have diabetes

—

Get to know me better

4 top ships: percabeth, morticia and gomez addams , hades and persephone, and i cant think of another

Last song you listened to: hidden place by björk

Last movie you watched: i cant remember the last time i watched a movie but im pretty sure it was labyrinth

What are you reading: im currently reading the novelization of jim hensons Labyrinth bc i love the movie.

What food are you craving rn: coconut

Tagging: @oblvions @shes-outta-sight @daughter-of-ophelia @starshinekiszka @karrotkate @aint-no-denying @mountainofthesunn @gia-is-a-punk-rocker  @highwaytunez @n1-party-anthem  @v-i-d-e-n-o-i-r @lantern-inthenight @sparrowof-thedawn @daughter-of-ophelia @nosferatyou @i-was-never-glam @assert-your-fucking-dominance @art--school--wannabe @jimmypagesandbrianmayshair @isaissafail

[21ate]

CLARIFYING PRINCETON

[google docs version]

so i wrote some stuff about emh again, but this time i think its actually a very necessary part of the story that needed to be discussed and clarified. this is very...very long. sorry!

~~~

The Princeton iteration of the everymanhybrid timeline is one of the hardest to consume, as dates and the chronological order of events is moreso implied through the context of the dialogue provided in the tapes rather than outright and plainly shown.

We know that the Fairmount era begins in 1971 with the first Corenthal Report, and ends in 1981 with the news that the last child of the mining town 4 had finally succumbed. We know that the Everymanhybrid era begins in 2010 when the youtube channel was created, and ends in 2018 with the deaths of Evan and Vinny.

We know that the Princeton era begins in December of 1987, just before Christmas, as evident in what Vinny tells us throughout the first few entries of the tapes. But...when did Princeton end?

It’s not as simple as just figuring out when Vinny himself died, because he isn’t solely reliable for when iterations begin and end. A big, very important part of it for sure...but Vinny has friends: Jeff and Evan. And to assume they died immediately following their disappearance from Vin’s life as described in TRAILHEAD would simply be jumping the gun a bit.

Why? Well the answer isn’t too hard. It’s because Evan was alive in 2005, and Habit used his body during the confrontation with Corenthal at Baldpate (described in house phone 2005, and referenced in an article from the microfilm collection). So what happened? How had Evan been alive in 2005? What happened to Jeff, Steph, and Vinny during the time period between 1993 (the year Vinny presumably died) and 2010? To answer this, we will need to cross reference between the Tapes, house phone 2005, and -.-. (the morse code video “C”) - as well as take a deep dive into the dates at which entries occur in the Princeton Tapes. In doing so, we will find a coherent timeline of events which will explain many details that before now have yet to really be discussed.

in the princeton iteration, vinny mentions that evan and jeff have disappeared on him (TRAILHEAD), and in the entry following (SHOPPING), he reiterates a sentiment about being abandoned...and ends with stating the Phillies won. if the listening order of these tapes is to be believed as entirely correct, then these two entries MUST take place before MOVIES, which we know was recorded in 1989 because that is the year Pet Sematary was released and when Vinny saw it.

lets take a look at the phillies 1983 and 1989 seasons. in 1983, the phillies won the national league east title. in 1989, it was the phillies 107th season. they did not win the title  - in fact, they placed last. they only played 163 games in the regular season; in the june 5th game against the pittsburgh pirates, the score was tied 3-3...however, rainy weather caused the game to be interrupted. thus, a replacement game was played at a later date. this would mark the last regular season tie game for the phillies as playing rules changed in 2007 allowing tie games to continue from the point of interruption at a later date. on june 8th 1989, against the pittsburgh pirates for the second time, the phillies won.

If the tapes begin in December of 1987, that only leaves a few years time between then and TRAILHEAD/SHOPPING. FRIENDS & GAMING takes place in 1988, which we know from the reference to that year’s presidential election with Dukakis. Thus, its pretty indisputable that Jeff and Evan must have disappeared between FRIENDS & GAMING in 1988 and TRAILHEAD/SHOPPING, 1989. With that being the case, we can then assume that Vinny was indeed referencing the June 8th Phillies win against the Pittsburgh Pirates, 1989.

So Jeff and Evan were gone from Vinny’s life before June 1989, but what happened to them?

The short answer: they had to have died at some point, of course. but we can get more specific than that. Let’s take a look at Jeff.

in -.-., jeff says, "nineteen years go by...you forget...for a moment i thought it was all real."

-.-. takes place in 2010 (we know this because evan states its been 5 years since corenthal and habits confrontation which we know for certain takes place in 2005.) 2010 - 19 is 1991. jeff may not necessarily be referencing how long he has been in the candleverse, but there is a connection worth making here. in box 7 there is a labyrinth books bookmark with dates written on the back, written by vinny presumably. 1989, 1990, and 1991 are present

1989 is crossed out, and 1990 and 1991 have a question mark to the side. there could be a few ways to interpret this, but my assumption is that this note was written in 1989 around the time vinny received the zine (explained in detail below:)

1989 is the year TRAILHEAD takes place, as we’ve figured out earlier. later entries will suggest they were recorded in close succession:

in trailhead, vinny's dialogue tells us that he had just sat down at the diner before pressing record, we're listening to his reaction to the zine and the girl in real time on a tape recorded in 1989. he talks about evan and jeff going dark on him, and ends by saying that he's going to find the girl to ask about the zine

in SHOPPING, vinny reiterates his current distress about feeling abandoned by those closest to him, obviously meaning evan and jeff again. he buys his groceries and ends by mentioning the 1989 phillies win (likely the june 8th game)

HOMELIFE is misplaced as entry 15, as the news report recorded on the tape is about hurricane hugo. this storm took place around september 1989.

if we assume the tapes are in order, this creates a discrepancy because in the next entry MOVIES, vinny sees pet sematary which came out in april 1989. shopping takes place around june 8th when the phillies won, and in movies vinny references back to the strangeness from "earlier this week", meaning the zine and the girl. thus, trailhead, shopping, and movies take place in the same week in june 1989 (and homelife, for some reason, is out of place. we can gloss over this though, i dont think it changes much)

So with that said, jeff must have died at some point in order for him to be present in the candleverse in 2010, pre-emh iteration. he could have died anywhere between 1989 to 1991, since we can't say for certain that his death was immediate, or even the direct cause of his absence.

so ev and jeff disappear around 1989. they may not have died immediately, only separated from vinnys life. in 1993, vinny dies and we know it must be around this time because he had been in contact with Davidson, whose law practice only just begun in 1993 (both versions of his death take place in the same time frame, per soft reset rules). in -.-., jeff talks about nineteen years going by. since this takes place in 2010, nineteen years prior would have been 1991. given that 1991 is written on the bookmark and made light of, and given all this concerns the iteration cycle, i think it'd be fair to say jeff died that year and entered the candleverse, two years before vinny bit the dust.

So, what about Evan?

evan was distanced from vinny around 1989 alongside jeff. vinny dies in 1993, and in one version of this event, its habit who kills him at fairmount. of course, habit was not using evans body to do so, instead apparently possessing doctor peters instead. that doesnt mean evan was out of the picture though, he simply wasnt what habit used in this particular instance to get at vinny and have him make the north star. this may be because habit was still ironing out the details of his grand scheme, with this particular method being a test of sorts. or, perhaps separately or in conjunction to this, habit planned to keep evan alive intentionally for whatever reason habit needed him for.

that reason, i conclude, would have been to get to corenthal. with jeff and vinny dead, and steph somewhere being irrelevant, habit and the other monsters all flocked to corenthal and plagued his life wherever he went. 3 deaths described in the microfilm collection, which contain news articles about corenthals activities from 1984 to 2005, match the MO for habit. the victims were described as all having been involved in an intense struggle with the assailant, one case "lasting a few hours, at minimum."

the articles in question are dated october 11th, 2002 and march 2nd, 2003

as far back as 1998, elizabeth was an active player as a psychic solving crimes through her special ability. as i said earlier, i had my doubts about her having been the offender to these crimes through habits actions. until 2005, elizabeth really is just a psychic, or at least she had been gifted her ability by one of the monsters for their own nefarious purposes. regardless though, she was not being controlled...yet. with that being the case, of course habit would have needed another vessel in the meantime.

on june 11th, 2005, elizabeth's place of business burns to the ground. on august 26th, corenthal had been set up by habit using elizabeth to lead him into a trap. we even know HOW habit did it: using elizabeth, s/he had contacted adam roberts. adam then relays the information to corenthal. according to house phone 2005, adam mentions the meeting a month prior to it occurring. thus, in july, elizabeth and adam decide to meet with corenthal in august and of course they do - except corenthal was lead to the wrong place.

corenthal encounters evan on a bench near the meeting place, a diner. This means evan is ALIVE at this point AND being possessed by habit, because in -.-. evan recalls being shot in the face. he recalls the confrontation that occurred, and he knows what year it took place and how long ago it happened relative to 2010, when -.-. was recorded. in true habit fashion, this encounter is brief as corenthal describes evan having been gone like he evaporated into thin air

corenthal gets to the diner and receives a call from elizabeth. this elizabeth is the real deal, and she calls to try and warn corenthal about having been set up. it was too late of course, and corenthal is ambushed by the patrons of the diner all possessed presumably by habit. corenthal struggles but manages to get out, heading towards baldpate now. he could hear sirens as he fled

at this point, elizabeth calls the house phone - now possessed by habit once more. habit mocks corenthal as elizabeth, "missed you at the diner, but you sure as hell bit it with me!", as if to imply corenthal intentionally skipped out on their meeting and had disappointed elizabeth in doing so. however, its pretty apparent the true intention is to mock him for falling for a trap. habit as elizabeth tells corenthal that s/he will see him at the park, obviously meaning balpdate to which corenthal would be currently fleeing to at the time of this call. we know this to be the order of events thanks to the inclusion of the siren detail and the order of habit/elizabeth and corenthals voicemail as they were recorded to the house phone.

we dont know what happened to elizabeth following this last bout of possession. it could be possible that habit brought her along to the park in addition to evan, given habit can and had just proven he could possess more than one body at a time and hop between them. however, i find it more likely that habit only confronted corenthal with evans body alone.

habit may have had company of a different sort, though. corenthal mentions that he felt like he was being watched, and his dialogue implies there being two distinct entities involved. the first, corenthal says, "knew it would end up like this", and corenthal says this shortly after mentioning evan from the bench again - therefore this is habit. the second entity corenthal describes as a "spectre" and the monster that took his children - Man, of course

whether man had any involvement with habit and corenthals confrontation is unknown, but we can at least say that he was around. corenthal and habit presumably have a fight, which for certain results in habit being shot in the face and corenthal ending up in the candleverse/eden

evans body dies there in 2005, leaving habit without him as a vessel in this plane of reality. with evan dead, the candleverse then had jeff and vinny and now evan. this aligns with what we see in -.-., the boys together while steph was nowhere to be seen. however, there is a five year gap between the events of 2005 and the candleverse conversation in 2010. this means steph was still alive, since the next iteration cannot begin until all four of them are in the candleverse...

Therefore, Steph had been alive since the Princeton iteration starting back in late 1987. the reason she lived so long? she never met vinny, evan, or jeff in the princeton iteration. or at least, she was distant enough from them to survive as long as she did. this reflects the nature of her role in that she does not have one, not like the boys do. she is different because she knew how to stay alive through ignorance. while we dont know the specifics of stephs relationship with man during the princeton timeline, it stands to reason that she was aware of him just like before during fairmount and after during the emh iteration. thus, her survival tactic of willful ignorance and aversion kept her alive for two decades.

Simply put, the Princeton iteration did not truly end until 2010, just before the beginning of the Everymanhybrid channel and its iteration cycle…

Making the Princeton era span a total of 23 YEARS. Jeff died in 1991, Vinny was next in 1993, Evan’s death is third in 2005, and around 2010, Steph perishes and the EMH Iteration begins.

Below I have written a more condensed timeline of events based on everything ive broken down here. There are a few details missing date-wise, but for our purposes we dont have to delve into them in order to understand with satisfying accuracy about what exactly happened in the years between 1987 and 2010.

DECEMBER, 1987: the princeton iteration begins.

BEFORE JUNE 8TH, 1989: jeff and evan disappear from vinnys life.

FIRST WEEK OF JUNE, 1989: vinny despairs over the loss of his friends in conjunction to the strange going ons of his life and a peculiar zine. trailhead, shopping, and movies all take place within this week.

AROUND 1991: jeff succumbs and appears in the candleverse.

BETWEEN 1989 AND 1993: tape 3 is recorded

DECEMBER 14TH, 1990: corenthal has a premonition about linnie heading off to find her siblings (noah release 1)

BETWEEN 1990 AND 1993: vinny encounters linnie (tape 3)

SOMETIME BEFORE OR AROUND 1993: vinny speaks to patrick andersen from mlandersen0 (tape 3).

AROUND 1993: vinny dies at fairmount, joining jeff in the candleverse. evan and steph remain alive at this time.

JULY 22ND AND JULY 23RD, 1995: corenthal encounters milo asher.

SOMETIME AFTER 1995: corenthal sends the piece of cloth found by milo’s house to his colleague adam roberts, who then creates the black box device.

BETWEEN 1989 AND 2002: evan is possessed by habit at some point, maybe as the reason for jeffs death in 1991, and go after corenthal alongside man and the rake.

OCTOBER 7TH, 1998: an article is published regarding elizabeth solving her first case.

BETWEEN OCTOBER 1998 AND JUNE 2005: corenthal discovers elizabeth and writes to adam roberts to listen for her name on the news, claiming she can help

MARCH 22ND AND JUNE 11TH, 1999: elizabeth solves two more cases.

OCTOBER 11TH 2002 AND MARCH 2ND, 2003: habits MO is apparent in three deaths following the appearance of corenthal at the homes of two families.

AROUND 2002 :elizabeth starts teaching classes at bucks county community college.

ON JUNE 11th 2005: an article is published regarding elizabeths place of business burning down

JULY, 2005: elizabeth is possessed by habit and using her body, s/he contacts adam roberts to arrange a meeting with corenthal in august. soon after speaking to a possessed elizabeth, adam roberts leaves a voicemail for corenthal telling him of the meeting.

AROUND AUGUST 26th 2005: corenthal heads out to his presumed meeting with roberts and elizabeth - only to find out he has been set up by elizabeth (habit). he sees evan, whose body is still alive at this time. habit has control over evan, and ultimately he and corenthal have a confrontation at baldpate. corenthal shoots him, killing evans body but not habit, and corenthal ends up in the candleverse/eden

AUGUST 2005: evan dies, joining vinny and jeff. This makes steph the sole survivor for the time being.

2010, PRE-EMH: evan jeff and vinny meet around a cluster of candles as seen in the video -.-.. evans dialogue suggests that while he had died in 2005, it hadnt been until 5 years later in 2010 that he has been able to meet up with jeff and vinny together properly since his death. further dialogue in -.-. suggests that steph is still missing from their group. presumably this means she hadnt been killed yet. jeff remarks about having no idea they were even looking for her, which falls in line with the idea that steph was not around the boys much if at all during their time alive in princeton, further solidified by her...well, lack of existence in the tapes.

BETWEEN 2005 AND 2010: before the start of the emh iteration but after evan died and came to the candleverse, evan and jeff work together making trips to a powerline in order to have a chance at making contact with the outside world (as in, us the audience).

this results in the phantom tweet telling us to stop watching, which appears in 2011. vin is of course dead at this point too, but its apparent that meeting up is risky and kept to a minimum. it may not be intentional that vin isnt present here, but jeff and ev WOULD have good reason for excluding vinny from this particular plan of theirs, given that vinny is the cog that powers the emh iteration (and a lot of what happens before too, frankly). perhaps they couldnt trust him, which would make sense since at this point, ev and jeffs recent memories of vinny would be from the princeton era and fairmount + whatever glimpses they get when they bump into one another in the candleverse. vin's involvement with their plan could cause a hinderance, and they wouldnt want that to happen

also note that jeff and evans powerline plan is also something corenthal is closely involved in, at least as shown in the day the world ended (2018). i dont think its too much of a stretch to imagine he was also involved in coming up with the plan years prior, between 2005 and 2010. this further highlights vinny's absence in the general affairs of the candleverse, despite the fact that he had been around since 1993. again, theres credence to believe he was intentionally excluded by jeff, evan, and corenthal

AROUND 2010: steph dies and rejoins the boys, and with all four now in the candleverse, the princeton iteration finally comes to an end.

MARCH 21st, 2010: the everymanhybrid channel uploads their first video - marking the beginning of the emh iteration

MARCH 17TH, 2011: the unsigned phantom tweet sent out by Jeff and Evan from the powerline tower in baldpate finally surfaces

STATS:

FAIRMOUNT: 1971 to 1981 (10 years) PRINCETON: 1987 to 2010 (23 years) EVERYMANHYBRID: 2010 to 2018 (8 years)

Steph lived the entire 23 year period for the Princeton era. Evan lived 18 years. Vinny lived 6 years. Jeff lived 4 years.

Jeff spent the longest amount of time in the candleverse post-Princeton at 19 years. Vinny spent a total of 17 years. Evan spent 5 years. Steph spent less than a year.

[fandomfourever]

In Defense of Alvin Murphy

I’ve been having thoughts ever since watching Z Nation. Twice. And I had to get this all off my chest. But, I’m just gonna put this under a read more because this will probably be super long.

So, as I said above, this is mostly just something I needed to post about so I can finally think about something else, lol. Most of what I’m writing is based on canon, while some sections (which I’ll try to make obvious) are educated guesses based on what we do know, and what makes sense (to me anyway). I’m going to try and keep it in some kind of order, but it might get a bit ramble-y.

While it obviously isn’t everyone, there are a lot of people who just really hate Murphy. And while everyone’s entitled to their opinions, sometimes I feel it’s a little unjustified. Not only that, he gets a lot of hate in the show from various characters. Now, I’m not going to claim Murphy is a saint who can do no wrong—he’s done plenty wrong. But this post is basically about putting things in perspective. If this interests you, please continue reading. Otherwise, move on I guess?

Sometimes it feels as though people seem to forget that Murphy has some major PTSD. Many of the characters do, but here’s the thing: those characters are often treated with sympathy, where Murphy is not. Example: Murphy panics in the elevator when they’re looking for McCandles, and Warren smacks him and tells him to stop (paraphrasing), but when Warren has a panic attack in the box in the labyrinth, Sarge helps her out and people are sympathetic. Not that they shouldn’t, but it’s a stark difference between similar moments.

Let’s not forget that Murphy was in prison for Postal Fraud. Not murder. Not rape. Not terrorism. Not drugs. Postal Fraud. And he was sentenced to 3 years, when the maximum can be up to 20 years with a $250,000 fine, unless it involves a “presidentially declared major disaster or emergency” which can land you 30 years and $1 million dollar fine. AKA, whatever Murphy did, it was really minor. (You can find info and the quote if you google Postal Fraud)

In the flashback we see of him in season 2, Murphy sees his first zombie; a dude shanked by another dude. Chronologically, Murphy is then given the vaccine during Black Summer. When we see Murphy in the pilot, he’s got a full beard, meaning some time has passed between seeing his first Z and being vaccinated.

Here’s where a bit of educated guessing comes in: we don’t see what happens to him between those two times. It would make sense to me that, if there’s been a zombie outbreak and food/water is going to run out, prisoners would be kept in their cells indefinitely (or almost so). Which would then give a pretty good explanation to Murphy’s claustrophobia. Whether he was in the cell alone or not, that’s a tiny space, and can you imagine the kind of terror that would come with that? Probably hearing other prisoners turn? All it would take is one guard getting bitten by mistake and the whole place would descend into chaos.

Back to what we know for sure. At some point after seeing his first zombie, he is then forcibly taken to the prison lab to be experimented on. Murphy, strapped to a table, has to watch two other prisoners die after being injected—one of which seized so hard he broke his own neck. Then he’s injected, and left behind, where he’s mauled by zombies and is awake and experiences them tearing into his body.

Then, to add insult to injury, Murphy is led around for a year by Hammond—you know, one of the people who abandoned him to be bitten—to try and bring him to California where he will be, once again, experimented on. We see how Hammond treats people, especially Murphy. He yanks and shoves him around, and we see he even treats people he views as human kind of like crap; Murphy is just a “package” to him. In fact, Murphy is called “the package” by just about everyone.

(remember that Hammond hauled Murphy from the truck and demanded he show Warren and Garnette the bites. Against his will.)

So, Murphy’s been traumatized, experimented on, and treated as less than human by the military, and then he’s taken in by people who also view him as less than human. Is it really any wonder he acts like an asshole? I doubt any normal person would be nice and friendly after all that.

The first person that actually tries to ask about what happened is Doc, but Murphy has no reason to trust him and lies about having volunteered to do it (I doubt Doc believes it, but he doesn’t ask further about it either). So yes, Murphy could have told Delta X-ray Delta exactly what happened, and maybe that would have gotten him the sympathy he deserved. However, they all know he was bitten eight times, so you’d think that alone would be enough to be treated with some kindness. But nah, they all are happy to push him around and tell him to shut up and again continue referring to him as “the package”.

It only gets worse as Murphy starts to turn blue. Not only does Murphy have to deal with the fact he’s being dragged across America to be experimented on by Dr. Mercy again, he then has to deal with the fact he’s, literally, falling apart.

Yes, Murphy takes water from that family and lets the husband inside. Yes, that was an awful thing to do. But, Murphy’s natural inclination is not to be a murderer (if they actually died). So I was thinking about the situation from Murphy’s perspective. The mother and daughter were hiding out in a building waiting for the husband to return. When he took the water, neither fought back, which can get you killed in the apocalypse. Even if he hadn’t taken the water, how long would they have lasted? Especially if they waited there for the husband to come back and he never did? They likely would have starved or died of dehydration. As Murphy leaves, he stops, thinks, then lets the zombiefied husband inside. I think it’s entirely possible that, from his prospective, he was helping in a way. The mother and daughter wouldn’t die wondering what happened to him, and could be viewed as a twisted sort of mercy. Again, not a good thing to do, and I’m not excusing him. But it’s a point to ponder.

Next I wanted to talk about Cassandra. Well, when Murphy bit her. Like with 10K, we never actually see the bite happen. What we see is Murphy going past everyone who’s devastated by Cassandra dying, and then entering the room and looking at her. Now, up to that point, Murphy had only bitten/infected four people, and controlled three of them sort of. The first person he bit, that guy at the Fu-Bar, died and didn’t turn. Now, based on the fact that even Murphy seemed surprised by Cassandra’s return, and her strange behavior, my guess is that he bit her to keep her from becoming a Z. He knew she meant a lot to the others, and despite his outward behavior, I think it’s safe to say Murphy does care about them at this point. So it would make sense to me that he would assume seeing her turn into a zombie would be heartbreaking to everyone else, and therefore bit her to prevent that, not knowing she would become a Blend and come after him.

In the final episode of season 1, Murphy sees what became of Patient Zero. He sees a man melted to a table, still alive, and begging for death, and knows he could become him. Then he learns Dr. Kurian isn’t who he says he is and could be wanting to kill or torture him (like the other experiments in the lab). (An aside: Dr. Merch worked in that lab, meaning she had a hand in those experiments.)

So again, I don’t find it unreasonable that Murphy, triggered by his trauma and impending kidnapping, fled. Flight or Fight, and we know Murphy prefers not to fight. So he ran. Someone in that kind of head-space is not going to be thinking of other people, and it would be unreasonable to expect that.

Then the beginning of season 2 is marked by people hunting Murphy down. People who are completely willing to break his legs to get the bounty. Again, he was being treated as less than human. The only bright spot in his life was Lucy, who he felt like he had to give up because he believed the group would hurt her. Considering the way they talked about him and her, and the fact they’re totally okay with allowing a baby to be experimented on, he wasn’t wrong to be worried.

Then we get the lovely episode The Collector. You know, the episode where Murphy was electrocuted multiple times. If you take a look at ScriptTorture like I have—specifically their electrical torture tag—you’ll see just how bad even one shock can be, let alone however many he got there. Being shocked with electricity can cause: heart attacks, muscle spasms enough to break bones, someone biting their own tongue off by mistake, death from falling because of muscle failure, burns, and bruising. While we know Murphy didn’t experience those (luckily) it’s still torture, and still incredibly painful for him. And let’s not forget he got shocked with a cattle prod back in the first episode of the season, and that he later gets repeatedly shocked in that episode with the Zuggalos.

The end of the episode leaves us with Murphy asking Warren to promise him she won’t let him be alone when they get to the CDC. And she does. Until a few episodes later, anyway. During the flashback episode, we get a scene where Murphy tells Warren he’s scared and that if she was his friend,  she wouldn’t leave him alone at the CDC. What’s Warren’s response to this? “I’m not your friend” and “There are some things we have to do alone, even if it hurts.” Like, wow, nice, so glad you don’t care you’re breaking Murphy down further.

And then to find out Dr. Merch and the others on the sub weren’t even going to save humanity, just the rich people on Zona? To know he’d been subjected to all that shit for nothing? Yeah, Murphy had every right to be upset and to try and take matters into his own hands. A persona can only take so much before they snap, after all.

You know what’s ridiculous? That Warren & Co (minus 10k) were totally fine with Hector/Escorpion hanging out with them despite, you know, torturing Vasquez, killing multiple people even before the apocalypse, trying to kill 10k (the ep where he was with Sketchy and Skeezy), being part of a Cartel… But Murphy being snarky and occasionally an asshole is just so much worse, I guess.

Now I want to address Murphy biting 10k. Like with Cassandra, we don’t see what happens, just the before and after. But let’s think back on some things. Murphy bit Cassandra because she was dying. Murphy did NOT bite 10k when the Collector ordered him to because there was another way out. Murphy did NOT inject Warren & Co when they were with The Zeros, when he had the opportunity and even motive to. So then we have 10k on the sub, shot in the stomach. We last see 10k (pre-bite) stumbling off the table in the sub. Despite being bandaged, he didn’t look like he was doing too well. When we see 10k later, he has no memory of the bite happening. Murphy can do a lot, but we’ve never seen him erase someone’s memories. Now, looking at Murphy’s past actions, and what we see going on with 10k, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to assume that, perhaps, 10k fainted or was knocked out. Falling to the floor or against a wall could have very easily re-opened his stitches, causing him to bleed again. Now if Murphy saw this, he could have easily thought that 10k was dying and bitten him.

All that isn’t to say Murphy wasn’t in the wrong for trying to control 10k, because he was, but I find it hard, if not impossible, to believe it was a lie when Will said that Murphy cared about him and didn’t want to hurt him.

Honestly, season 3 feels kind of like a mess when it comes to vilifying Murphy and trying to make it seem like Warren is in the right. I’m honestly glad when Murphy calls out her hypocrisy, because Warren keeps saying freedom is important, and free will is important. But apparently when the people go to Murphy of their own free will to get his cure, that doesn’t count. Warren was totally okay with slaughtering a bunch of people (with the help of the Red Hand who are also a bunch of murderers), because they felt safe with Murphy. And why wouldn’t they? He made them immune to Zs, got them fresh water, functioning electricity, and food.

Which brings me to another point I want to make. People love to call Murphy a narcissist. While he does act arrogantly, he’s not a narcissist. To be classified as a narcissist, a person must exhibit 5 or more of the following symptoms:

A grandiose sense of self-importance

Preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love

Belief that one is special and can only be understood by or associate with special people or institutions

A need for excessive admiration

A sense of entitlement (to special treatment)

Exploitation of others

A lack of empathy

Envy of others or the belief that one is the object of envy

Arrogant, haughty behavior or attitudes

A grandiose sense of self-importance: Nope. Murphy frequently said he didn’t want to be The Savior, that he wanted to be normal and die like everyone else. When he does refer to himself as The Savior, it’s highly sarcastic or to stay alive.

Preoccupation with fantasies of success, power, etc.: Again, no. The closest he gets is saying he could have been an action news anchor if he’d applied himself.

Only associating with special people and institutions: No. Murphy associates with everyone. Does he get a little close to this with Zona in season 4? Yeah, but since it isn’t exclusive it doesn’t count as this.

A need for excessive admiration: Nah. You can see him get visibly uncomfortable when his Blends act overly obsessed with him. And guess what? Murphy gives them all credit for getting the power working. Not once does he claim that all the good things they have is because of him and him alone.

A sense of entitlement: Sometimes. But I’d say considering the shit he’s been through, it’s not unreasonable.

Exploitation of others: Yeah, he does do this.

Lack of empathy: Whoo boy, you’d have to have not been watching the show to think this. Murphy, despite his outward behavior, gets attached to people so fast. It only took one card game with Doc for Murphy to call him his friend, and to feel devastated when he thought Doc had been blown up. He has full empathy for Zs, and just because they’re dead doesn’t mean it doesn’t count. Especially when we know from both Murphy and Lucy that they do still feel things. Murphy and Lucy’s storyline as a whole disproves this one.

Envy of others/Thinking one is envied: No, we don’t see any evidence of this.

Arrogant and haughty behavior: Yeah, he does this too.

So, 2 out of 9 symptoms. Murphy’s not a narcissist. Case closed on that one.

Now, back to my main points. So we have Murphy creating a beautiful room for Lucy, intending to find her and bring her back to raise her properly. Warren tells Doc and Addy to get to Lucy first, so she can be the new cure. Because it’s totally fine to experiment on babies. And yeah, we know now that Sun Mei would have likely only taken a little bit of blood, but we didn’t then, and neither did Warren & Co. And even still, it’s experimenting on a baby. Truly, Warren was the hero of season 3 and Murphy was pure evil.

Luckily in seasons 4 and 5, Murphy is treated a lot better. Well, mostly the end of season 4 and season 5 in general. The way things are framed, it seems like Murphy doesn’t care about anyone not on Zona, but it’s crucial to remember that 1) He was told everyone was dead and 2) it’s been 2 years for him. And then when he’s reunited with Lucy she snubs him and hangs around with Warren, who acts all pleased about it. It’s not like Murphy loved Lucy more than anyone, even himself, and had tried so hard to get her back, thought she was dead, and just wants a chance to be a dad. And, because Murphy hasn’t suffered enough, Warren’s sense of self-importance about her mission to “stop” Black Rainbow got Lucy killed. Just saying, if they’d just gone to Newmerica, Lucy might have lived.

Also, how can your heart not break even a little when, at the camp, Doc gives Murphy a hug and Murphy says “At least there’s one person who’s happy to see me”? Like?

The last time we get Murphy being treated super unfairly is by Addy in season 5. Like, yes, Addy traveled with Lucy and cared about her, but Murphy was her father and might have been able to raise her if Doc and Addy hadn’t gone to kidnap her first. But she just has to get in a dig at Murphy not being around for Lucy. Like he totally would have had he not been abducted by Zona.

As long as this post is, I hope those that read it can see my point. Murphy is not perfect, but the way he’s treated is vastly out of proportion to what he’s done. He definitely deserves more sympathy than he’s given. If we’re ever given a season 6, I hope he’s treated a lot better.

If people would like to talk about this, whether you agree or not, please do. But also please be nice about it. I’m all for respectful discussions.

[androidsfighting]

F and M?

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it. 

i loooooove writing dialogue but here’s one i picked at random while scrolling through my google doc. sorry it’s so long

She slumps back into the couch, watching Barry longingly across the room. “Taako, I don’t know what I’m doing. Barry’s just - so great and I’m just…” Her bottom lip trembles. He may not agree with her on the whole Kravitz thing, might still be kind of mad at how overprotective she can get, but he’s sure not going to let her spiral into drunken tears. He takes his sibling responsibilities very seriously. He sets his beer on the table beside them and puts a hand on her shoulder, making her look at him. “Hey. That boy thinks you hung the moon, y’know,” Taako says.  “I know.” Lup laughs, a little high and manic, running her hands through her thick hair. “How do you even - deal with that?” “Luckily for you,” Taako says, and tries not to sound bitter, “you have all the time in the world to figure it out.” “I can’t help feeling like I’m going to break his heart someday. And I don’t want to.” “You will,” he agrees, and she looks even more miserable. “And he’ll break yours, and it’ll suck sometimes and be fuckin’ baller the rest of the time. Pretty sure that’s what being in love is, homie.” She looks at him a moment, head tilted to the side like she’s trying to figure out some kind of riddle. “Are you in love with Kravitz?” She asks, quiet enough that he has to strain to hear her over the music. He glances away, which probably answers the question better than he would like. “I knew you were into him, but. It's been more than that for a long time, hasn’t it?” [...] He wants to say something snarky but all that comes out is, “It’s complicated.” He grabs his beer and takes a long drink. “I don't know what I’m doing, either.” “But you do care about him. More than I thought.” “Hey, I thought we were talking about your mess of a love life.” She ignores his attempts to deflect. “You gonna do anything about it?” He snorts. “How can I? I mean, we still leave at the end of this, he still forgets me, so what’s the fucking point. Least you and Barry don’t have to deal with that.” “But like, we live a lonely fuckin’ existence, okay? We’re all lonely and everything sucks. So maybe we should get to be happy sometimes. Whatever little scrap of good the universe gives us… we should take it.” He doesn’t answer, doesn’t know what he would say, he could come up with some retort, but instead he shrugs, and glances away. “Just... be careful, okay?” Lup says. “Aren’t I always?” She wraps her arms around him, squeezing tight, laying her head on his shoulder. “Hey. Um. I love you, you know.”

why i like it: one thing that i didn’t really plan on but just kind of happened naturally while writing this fic was digging into the twins relationship a bit more, and I just love them. I love their dialogue and how they’re always ride-or-die 100% there for each other even when they disagree. I love that Lup is just as messed up as taako is when it comes to relationships and trusting people, even if it shows up in different ways. And I think it was really necessary to work Lup into how Taako and Kravitz end up together, because at this point Lup is absolutely the most important person in Taako’s life and always has been. they’re so protective of each other, and Lup has been pretty anti-Kravitz until this point. In canon (and canon-compliant fic) Taako and Kravitz’s early relationship develops without Lup’s presence or influence, but that’s not the case in Synecdoche. it felt like Lup sort of giving her blessing was really important here - she wasn’t exactly pushing Taako to do anything, but at the same time it sort of showed Taako that if he did decide to do something it would be okay and she would support him, and i don’t know if he would have actually taken that jump into a relationship with Kravitz unless he got that approval from her - I think he might have chickened out.

bonus: 

“I hope,” Kravitz says, running his fingers steadily through the remains of Taako’s now ruined braid. “I hope you do. End up with me, I mean.”  He pauses, and then - “I’m sorry I won’t be there for it.”

because i just like causing myself pain i guess!

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?

- ok well OBVIOUSLY there’s that labyrinth au and YES it’s been literally a year but i AM GONNA WRITE IT DANG IT. after synecdoche probably - taako gets a therapy dog oneshot for never let me go (i just need like. any plot for it at all) - i have a terrible very sad idea for basically a Truly Madly Deeply au. did anyone else watch that?? probably not. it had alan rickman in it. he was a ghost and came back to haunt his still-alive wife. it’s very sweet and sad and i like ghosts and i’ll probably cry if i write it

[qaesitr]

    ❗️ This is important as post. ❗️ A brief explanation about the blog's reboot, for it once existed in the end of 2010's decade. Feel in your complete right to ignore this post, please ! For the most relevant information lies in the rules page. But if curiosity has pinched on your soul or you have previously heard about Holly Molly, the interdimensional cute traveler and ghost whisperer, then stay with us and click on read more ! I hope the button works, let me know if all the text is exposed instead, so I will try to fix it. Be aware that it contains the only piece of deeply personal info I'll share with you on here, I hope you don't find this fact as molesting.

Be welcomed to this roleplay blog ! I'm Saturn, the human behind the muse. Thank you so much for coming by ! If you haven't seen the  ➡️RULES⬅️ and ➡️ABOUT⬅️ pages yet, I cordially invite you to give them a check. You'll be informed about the character and the necessary requirements to start a wonderful adventure with Holly and me. You can check over this ➡️GOOGLE DOCS FILE⬅️ to read it all together instead.

Perhaps Holly's name and role as ghost whisperer sounds familiar to you. If it doesn't, it's okay ! In both cases, you'll need to read her bio carefully because if you once happened to meet her, you will not find the same character she's been relying on previous to this reboot.

And yes. This is a reboot of a roleplay blog created between 2015 and 2020s. I had two reasons to deactivate it and wait a year and a spoon to bring it back to life. Honestly, I thought it was going to be a permanent close, but even I am surprised of how much Holly begged !! So I had to bring her back, but with a completely different backstory.

Let's begin for the fact that her backstory relied firmly in an old TV series. A secondary character that had not a lore at all just to say so. She was a mere concept and nothing else that contributed quite a bit with another and more relevant canon character from the same series. So I decided to take this secondary chara and give it sentience, then I thought: "What if she just had a human AU ?" and ta-daa !! That's how her story started. It was a funny concept to play with, but in the end, two reasons have left me anchored to a sole choice. A temporal exit for the moment, and somehow a wise way to leave a place that was causing me more trouble than fun as well, affecting my physical health until recent days. Yes, you heard well. Physical. Not to mention the psychological damage in the way, but let's just proceed with the explanation.

What if I start with the first and MAIN reason of the previous blog's deactivation ? Alright, let's go. My lack of interest towards the series whose concept has made me originate her story in general. That, in resume. She was mostly an OC than that canon character I relied her story on at some point, but she was GLUED to her origins, and even if I wanted to transport her to diverse universes ---like the ones on my verses page, for example. Her original nature would always unleash and that would limit me to write whatever else I would want to develop, add, quit or modify on her. She was a caged concept since the begin, but I was too blind to realize about it, like that snake game from old mobile phones, where the snake is so long that you end up losing the game at some point because collision is inevitable. A labyrinth with no exit, no beginning, no end. She was caged to a series that was essentially losing its spark, an universe entering into its Proton Decay era, something that was no longer what it used to be. And like an hermit crab on a small shell, I was starting to feel claustrophobic about her concept which has led me to explore new horizons for Holly. Horizons that didn't work no matter how much effort I've put in applying them to her because her concept had to be explained, a concept that was ONLY from that TV series only, and that discomforted me like if it would be more a flaw I preferred to hide than something I’d feel comfortable explaining. Thence I can say that what was glued to her was also sucking her essence, her originality, and was slaving her to return to the same universe she came from, one that didn't suit my comfort anymore due to its proximate finale and because I have changed my mind and tastes in regards to it.

At the same time that my activity has exponentially reduced on such that blog ---which takes us to the second reason I did quit from here in past year-- I found myself facing one of the toughest moments in my online life. One that has affected my way to perceive other roleplayers and people in general. I’ve seen the worst things you can see in a human being, in somewhere else, said by someone else, but confessed by this same person afterwards. A person I BELIEVED I KNEW well for 4 years, but I WAS WRONG. A person that has shown me they were NOT reliable at all. A person whom I had to handle in the most human way possible because apparently, they were a sensitive mind and I didn't want to be the cause of their self damage ---thing they were vulnerable to at such that moment-- but all I felt ( and feel ) for them is filth and repulsion. I entered into a catatonic status, I stopped sleeping, eating, and I've been generating bad habits in posture for example ( sitting really tense and shivering almost all day ) which I ended up paying with migraines, muscular tension, and other things that need to be checked to receive a diagnose. I had to shut Holly down, I didn't know what to do. That monster, it was just consuming me from inside. I don't wanna associate with any beast like it. I just want to roleplay, no more bonds, no more trust... or better said, I’m AFRAID TO TRUST ANYONE SINCE NOW ON.

      g-get me ? But I'm trying. I’m sincere, transparent and fully honest, so I can’t see why people can hide so many things to someone who is truly honest with others--- I don't want this experience to mark me like a burning scar. Or at least, if it's a burning scar, I want to put some colorful tattoo over, or show it as "Listen, this happened to me. I've found a close person has turned out to be a demon, but I'm not this experience. I'm more. I can get over it. Not everyone is bad. There are good roleplayers out there with as nice intentions as me."

So... I decided to rewrite Holly now, but not anchored to a story that would chain her to a world I didn't want her to belong anymore. Although there exists a page exclusively dedicated to wondrous verses, and some universes are depicted in the way, her main verse locates her as a completely fandomless character now, who has born and developed in an universe I've created myself, in a world where AIs are starting to rise and start to behave like authentic humans. What is going on her mind this time ? It's time to start over, to lead a new, greater, fascinating adventure in the hands of a cute robot with fighting skills living in the body of a sweet woman named Holly. I invite you and your muse to accompany us and head outstanding stories together.

Be seeing you soon !! Thank you so much for reading this post. I hope it doesn't represent any bother to you. I kindly request you to not bring sad or personal topics about my ungrateful experience, please. I tell my story to you because I want to explain why I put so many boundaries in my rules, and in case someone else has seen the old Holly, they understand what has taken me to deactivate her, simply... to make her greater. Lot greater.

  So, let's turn the page and start over !

                   ---Saturn. 🪐 ✨

[marksburyscripts]

Episode 13-- Less Than a Theory

Google Doc

Content Warnings: -Cancer -Talk of potential murder of a parent -Implied suicidal ideology

[Pre-episode announcement]

Hey, everyone! Victor Stark here with just a couple quick announcements. First off: We are approaching the end of The Marksbury Incident season one! The season finale will be episode fifteen, which is currently expected to release on May 8th. After that, we will be taking a brief hiatus as we prepare for season two and give the cast a well-deserved break. 

“But Victor!” You may be thinking. “How am I supposed to get my fix of Frankenstein retellings while Marksbury is on a break?” I’ve got good news and bad news. The bad news is I don’t know. That’s on you. But the good news is it won’t always have to be! Orbituary is an upcoming podcast about the crew of the U.S.S Prometheus. It’s Frankenstein in space! What could be better than that? The fact that they’re casting, that’s what! And even better than that, they’re especially looking for actors of color, and accents not often heard in podcasts.You can learn more @OrbituaryPod on Twitter.

That’s all from me for today, and another huge thank you to everyone who’s stuck with us throughout this. We all appreciate it more than I could possibly say.

And keep an eye out. There are plenty more stories to tell.

--

[The cemetery. Night. There is the sound of a phone ringing, and it goes to Evelynn’s voicemail]

EVELYNN

Hey, it’s Evelynn! I can’t come to the phone--

VICTOR

...Nope. [He sighs and hangs up] Stupid…. [Beat.] Nothing good ever comes of this, I-- I don’t know why I keep doing it. “Go for a walk, Victor, it’ll be good for you. Who cares if it’s the middle of the night, it’ll be fine.” But you know, facing fears and everything. And I'm not exactly supposed to be here after dark. If that groundskeeper sees me, he might just have a heart attack. I haven’t seen him since the day he told me about that woman, though, so maybe he quit? [Beat.] And what's a trespassing charge after everything I've been through, right? [He laughs, but it fades] Plus, I… I need to think. 

...It wasn't the cancer that killed you, was it, mom? I know that now. She did. You knew something, and she made sure that no one else found out. And now I’m here. I’m finding out. That’s gotta be the connection, right? Something happened the night I…. [A breath] You know. Something happened, and she… found me. Latched on. And now she knows that I know something. It all makes sense, it’s just the details now. 

VICTOR (Cont.)

...Do I want the details? I told Christine that time that I’m done looking into things that people shouldn’t know about. That was just to try and get her to stop worrying about it in case things got dangerous. And that clearly didn’t work. She’s resilient, that’s for sure. I’ve… contacted Professor Crane. He... hasn’t gotten back to me. Maybe he just hasn’t checked his email, but I know that’s unlikely. He obviously doesn’t want to get involved. Can’t say I blame him.

I… don’t have much to go off of. It’s difficult. I can get a few words from your journal, but it’s almost impossible to get anything accurate because of the different languages. Certain words meaning different things only within certain contexts. Even translation programs are falling short. Heck, I can’t even figure out what languages some of the words are. But… that was probably the point. [Sigh] ...I can get the gist of it, though. You found out about… something. Something dangerous, something that… I think you were trying to stop. Is that right? 

VICTOR (Cont.)

[Laughs] ...This is way above my pay grade. At this point, I’m-- I’m just talkin’ in circles. “Mom knew something, I don’t know anything.” How many different ways can I say it? Don’t expect any novels from me. [He laughs again] I’d lay out the facts and try to make some deductions, but… what facts do I even have? Next to nothing. No. No, not even next to nothing. I have nothing. I-- I almost want to find out if I can… summon her or something, just to get some information. But there’s no guarantee she would actually tell me anything. And even if she did, it’s no use to me if I’m dead. 

[There is a long, contemplative silence]

VICTOR (Cont.)

...Maybe I should just leave. Get a nice little cabin in the middle of nowhere and let everyone go about their lives without any of… this. Let the world forget that Victor Frankenstein ever existed. [He scoffs] There was a time when being forgotten was one of my biggest fears, remember? When I only ever wanted to be someone. My name in the most prestigious textbooks and research papers for years to come. You told me that anything was possible with hard work and dedication. So, what's the hard work I need to make sure that I slip into obscurity? 

VICTOR (Cont.)

I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I mean, I am completely at a loss. Should I even be doing anything? Wouldn't it just be easier to accept that this is how it is, and roll with the punches? ...No. No, I can't do that. As much as I want to, I'm in this now. No turning back. And I'm more lost than I've ever been. I don’t--

[There is the sound of a twig snapping in the distance. Victor freezes, but after a few second of silence, he decides that it was nothing and continues]

VICTOR (Cont.)

God, look at me. Jumping at shadows. It-- it’s just sad at this point. If this is how I am with the stupid amount of anxiety meds I’m on, can’t imagine what I’d be like if I didn’t have them. I’d probably be curled up in a corner somewhere just waiting for something to come and finish me off.

[There is the sound of a zipper as Victor rummages through his bag. He pulls out a lighter and cigarettes, and we hear him light one]

VICTOR (Cont.)

...Yeah. I smoke now. What’re you gonna do, ground me? After everything I’ve been dealing with, I think I deserve this much, if it helps me calm down even a little bit. Christine and Henry have been on me about it, though, so I haven’t been going through as many lately. Just last week, Henry flushed the only one I had left down the toilet. I wanted to be mad, but y’know, I can’t really blame him. He’s just trying to help. Both of them are. With everything. And as much as I appreciate it, because believe me, I do… we all know that they’re just as clueless as I am. 

VICTOR (Cont.)

...I need you, mom. I need you to tell me my next step. I-- I have no idea, I-- I have people who need me to figure this out. Henry and Christine, whether they'll admit it or not, we all know that it's up to me. Henry's already seen firsthand what can happen if things go too far, and if I don't sort this all out, if I don't stop it, who's to say it won't be even worse? They’re all I have, I can’t lose them. I can't let that happen, mom. I won't be able to take it. [About to cry] I…. I can't be alone again. 

VICTOR (Cont.)

[A deep breath as he calms down]

Right. Anyway. [A short, sad laugh] I uh-- I've been trying to focus on work. Which is still terrible. But I've been so out of it lately, I need to make sure I don't get fired. Plus all the time I've missed just because I couldn't bring myself to go…. Basically, I'm on thin ice. Everyone's pretty understanding, they know I've been going through a rough time. But still, they can only excuse so much. I feel like I’m constantly walking on eggshells on that front. Like one mistake could be the nail in the coffin. Like I need any more stress in my life, right? [Laughs] I mean, I’m sure if worse came to worse, Henry’s dad would let me work for him for a bit, but I feel like I’d be even worse at that than I am at retail. I don’t even drive my own car if I can help it, forget about fixing them. And I like Henry’s family, I wouldn’t wanna risk accidentally blowing up their main source of income. And of course, there’s the fact that I’m the reason their son was in a coma for almost a year, so uh, if they ever found that out, they might be a little upset.

VICTOR (Cont.)

...I’m scared, mom. I’m scared, and I-- I just wish you were here to tell me that it’s gonna be okay. ...God, I sound like a child. But it’s true. I’m not cut out for this. Give me figures and numbers, I’ll work any problem out like it’s nothing. But this is… unknown territory. Where do I even begin? Where did you begin? How did you even get involved in-- in any of this? Did you seek it out? Or were you a victim of circumstance, just like me?

VICTOR (Cont.)

I’ve come to accept that there are a lot of things I don’t understand in the world. I thought I’d solved life’s greatest mystery. But as it turns out, all I did was unlock the door to a labyrinth of puzzles the likes of which mankind had never dared try to unravel. There’s so much more… to everything than I ever imagined. And I hate it. I hate not knowing how any of this works, not knowing the rules these things follow. People vanishing into thin air, women with no bodies…. I’ve tried to research, but there’s nothing credible. I don’t know a thing. ...Well, I guess that’s not completely true. I know that whatever’s going on, whatever you started, mom… I’m gonna finish it.

ERIK

Always so sure of yourself, aren’t you, Creator?

[Victor takes a sharp, frightened inhale, and the recording ends]

NEXT EPISODE➝

[tak4hir0]

Salesforce Consultants have a variety of responsibilities to manage in their role. While organisation is a key trait to what makes a good Salesforce consultant, you should look to improve your productivity, client communication, and Salesforce project deliveries with the help of apps. Having worked in multiple Salesforce consultancies and as an independent consultant, I’ve compiled this list based on the most popular tools used in the partner ecosystem. For most categories, I have included both free and paid options (and highlighted which tools are definitely worth paying for!) Whether you’re a new or seasoned Salesforce consultant, take a look at these essential tools to keep in handy in your digital toolbox. General Productivity & Communication Paid “An integrated suite of cloud-native collaboration and productivity apps…includes Gmail, Docs, Drive, Calendar, Meet and more” G Suite is the popular choice among Salesforce consultancies. Personally, I haven’t used anything but GSuite since 2015. If you’re coming from a Microsoft stronghold, I recommend you brush up on Gmail and its related apps. Free Although G Suite comes with Google Hangouts, Slack is a workplace communication tool on steroids that took the world by storm circa 2015. It was the first player in the market to combine group chats and person-to-person messaging, in an intuitive interface. Some even use it for communicating with clients particularly if the project management tool is a labyrinth of Salesforce jargon. There’s even a Slack to Salesforce integration you could take advantage of. Free – with limitations Quip is like a combination of Slack and Google docs. It’s a word processing app that offers so much more than your typical document management, especially the ways it can be integrated with your Salesforce org. I recommend Quip to consultants for bringing the gap between Salesforce org data, and making it readable for clients. For example, you can pull related lists, Salesforce reports (and more) into a document, and work in Quip with clients with the reassurance that the bi-directional sync with Salesforce records maintains your org as the true ‘source of truth’. Thanks to Helen for giving us a tour of how Quip can be used, for user productivity benefits, and security for Admin peace of mind – I recommend you read the whole guide. Free I have used Evernote for years because it does the job for quick note-taking, whether that be taking rough notes during a call, or using it to copy, manipulate, and paste information. Although you are likely to have Google Docs at your disposal, Evernote is far more lightweight. I even find the two-step process of moving my notes from Evernote to Google Docs gives me a chance to reorganize them to the best order. Free An essential Chrome extension for writing documents or emails to clients, especially if grammar isn’t one of your strong points (or you type emails at breakneck speed)! Grammarly is more sophisticated than other spell-checkers; what I love are Grammarly alerts when I could have used a more concise sentence to get my point across. Project Management & Time Tracking Time Tracking – Kimble, Toggl, Harvest Tracking your time is how you track your profitability as a consultant. Recording your task entries per client, per task can be a tedious ask, so it’s important to choose a software that makes it as frictionless as possible. Here are some options I have come across working in different Salesforce consultancies: Kimble (Paid): time tracking is only one element of the Kimble full-blown solution, which is geared towards granular resource tracking. Not the most visually aesthetic, but is certainly robust! Other consultancies may build their own custom time trackers in Salesforce using custom objects tied to the user object. Toggl (Paid): from the look and feel of the Toggl website, you get a sense of what the app aims for. Whenever you start a new task, you can simply press the ‘play’ button, effortlessly giving you start and stop times. It’s lightweight but I know large teams that use it happily. Harvest (Paid): For independent consultants, I highly recommend Harvest. It’s a no-nonsense time-tracking tool that I have used for years (one of the few paid apps that I kept throughout my freelance stint). Harvest offers more features, such as invoicing, expense tracking, and more (although I found this overlapped with my accountancy and banking software). Task Management – Jira, Asana Jira (Paid): As an industry-standard, all consultants will encounter Jira at some point in time. Jira becomes a must-have for consultants working on larger projects, with the ability to create dependencies between tasks and teams. Jira is designed to work in sprints, and the ‘tickets’ can be displayed in multiple ways, including Gantt style. Asana (Free – with limitations): Then there’s Asana. I love Asana, it’s my go-to project management tool. Was created by an ex-Facebook engineering lead who was frustrated with how their projects were managed internally (surely a vote of confidence for the tool!) My thoughts are that Asana is best suited for: Independent consultants,Consultants working on smaller projects with fewer dependencies between tasks,Consultants working collaborating with clients, where a tool like JIRA is less intuitive and typically an overwhelming experience! Process Mapping & Visualization Process Mapping – Lucidchart (+ Miro) Lucidchart (Free – with limitations): Lucidchart enables consultants to show Salesforce processes step-by-step using diagrams, using drag-and-drop from a range of pre-made shape libraries. An absolute essential for consultants. At the discovery stage, use Lucidchart to enrich the proposal you send to your clients with visual flow diagrams that help communicate the value of your work in terms of efficiency and user productivity gains. At the end of the project (hand-off and training stage), use the same flow diagrams to lead users through what you built so they understand the process end-to-end. At the time of writing, the Lucidchart free version limits you to 3 diagrams, each with a maximum of 60 shapes. It’s worth paying for, in my opinion (another paid app that I kept throughout my freelance stint). Miro (Free – with limitations): Miro is an online whiteboard, that updates in real-time (think of it if a Google Doc turned into a whiteboard). See in action below: VIDEO I personally find whiteboards indispensable when gathering requirements and demonstrating how Salesforce works. There’s something about this tool that gets people excited about the possibilities their future org offers! Video Recording – Loom Free Loom is such a gift! You can record videos that show your face and screen (or screen-only) and share it with clients in a number of ways. The Chrome extension sits on your browser, ready to launch when you need it for recording training videos, or for clients record bugs for troubleshooting (the modern, more effective version of ‘send me a screenshot). Design & mock-up: Sketch, Canva Lightning Design System Plugin for Sketch (Paid – limited time trial): Sketch is a design platform for UI, mobile, web, and icon design. Create quick Salesforce UI mockups with the Lightning Design System Plugin for Sketch! The plugin surfaces SLDS components, icons, wireframes, and artboards as Sketch symbols. Sketch offers a fully-featured 30-day free trial. Check out what one consultant had to say in our guide on the blog. Canva (Free): Canva has enabled thousands of people to become graphic designers to an extent! By uploading components into Canva (such as the parts of an email template), you can create mock-ups to get client approval before you built, mitigating multiple revisions. The same goes for Lightning components on a Salesforce page layout. Canva also comes with hundreds of templates for various content and documents, such as presentations, logos, proposals, and more – so be sure to explore these too! Scoping & Proposal e-Signature – Docusign, Hello Sign Using e-Signature for getting client sign off on proposals, statements of work, or any change requests raised during the project duration. Docusign (Paid): Docusign needs little introduction. One of the original players in the market, you’re guaranteed an outstanding product with a good Salesforce integration. HelloSign (Paid): A lightweight and reliable e-signature option, HelloSign is ideal even for consultants who are starting out (with its friendly price point). For a small upgrade, you can connect it to your Salesforce org. Data Management Data Loader Free If you don’t have Data Loader installed, can you really call yourself a Salesforce consultant? This free application is used for insert, update, delete, and extract records to or from a Salesforce org. Data Loader works with all objects and its capabilities are superior to the built-in Data Import Wizard. Note: check your client’s data requirements. If these exceed 10,000 records/per month/org, invest in a paid license from dataloader.io and take advantage of its advanced features. Check out more recommendations featured on our “The 5 Best Data Loaders for Salesforce” list. You may find that these come with additional features your clients need, so keep an open mind. ColumnCopy Free With this Chrome extension, you can copy HTML table columns without the data order or formatting becoming disrupted. This is great for copying the content of Salesforce list views, or in Salesforce setup, tables like object fields list under the ‘Fields and Relationship’ page. Spanning Paid Spanning is an AppExchange vendor with a first-class data backup and restore tool. It’s good to have a tool like Spanning to hand for: Restoring data if a data load goes wrong,Sandbox seeding: to fill sandboxes with test data,Metadata compare: see changes between production and sandboxes highlighted.Read this overview to see how a backup and restore tool could save your skin in the heat of the moment! It is recommended that every org has a backup provider. Although Spanning is not cheap, it will be the client who will pay for licenses to apps like this. Deduplication: DemandTools, Clouddingo, Duplicate Check Deduplication is a necessary, but painful, part of every CRM consultant role (whether you’re tasked with the actual deduping, or not). There are two sides to the same coin: prevention and remedy. Better be equipped with the tools that can help you out in your duplicate data despair, and leave your clients armed for the future! DemandTools (Paid – per user): DemandTools is the all-encompassing option, referred to as the “Swiss Army knife” of Salesforce data management. These 10 modules enable you to manage imports, data standardization, lead conversion, Salesforce reports, backups, email verification, and record ownership – in bulk! (oh, I should mention they have been a leading data management tool-set for Salesforce for 20 years!) DemandTools (Validity) website | AppExchange listing Clouddingo (Paid – per org): A popular option. I remember how easy it was to get up and running, processing a dirty org, and identifying duplicates in minutes. Big plus for consultants: scheduled jobs can run in the background to deduplicate data to continue your data hygiene efforts, even after you have concluded the project. Pricing per org. Cloudingo website | AppExchange listing Duplicate Check (Paid – per org): When I first saw a demo of Duplicate Check, I was blown away. This is a fantastic option for consultants who want to introduce deduplication functionality into a Salesforce org for users to routinely manage duplicates themselves (DC Live). While incredibly powerful in how granular you can make the logic, it’s also bewilderingly simple to set up and use. Read our full review here. Customizing Salesforce ORGanizer for Salesforce Free Working with multiple orgs? Sick of your browser tabs being blanketed with the same blue cloud logo? This Chrome extension has helped many of us consultants organise the client orgs (and own internal orgs) we could be working with simultaneously. Not only does this tool store logins for your frequently used accounts username/password/login URL/landing page, but you can also use colours to differentiate your browser tabs. Every consultant knows a tab-heavy browser is unavoidable, but colour-coding should help when switching between projects. Field Data Relationships – DLRS, Lookup Helper & Roll-up Helper Declarative Lookup Rollup Summaries (DLRS) Free The Declarative Lookup Rollup Summaries (DLRS) managed package is a must-have for creating rollup summaries between lookup relationships. Andy Fawcett’s open-source tool is a gift, enabling you to define rollups using standard UI declaratively, no coding required! Why is this a big deal? You will encounter many use cases for creating rollup summary fields. You will all know that you can’t create rollup summaries between two objects with a lookup relationship (only those in a master-detail relationship). So, how can you fulfill a client’s requirement to not let them down? You could write an Apex Trigger. This isn’t a friendly option for declarative consultants, and involving a developer will each into your profits. Lookup Helper/Rollup Helper Free – with limitations Solving the same consultant pain points as DLRS, these too AppExchange products can step in to save the day. Rollup Helper: roll-up any Salesforce data (count, sum, max, min, average, percent, lookups, text, formula, and multi-currency roll-ups)Lookup Helper: automatically relate records via lookup relationships.The interface is a lot easier to use than DLRS, designed more with the layman in mind. This would be the better option to leave with your clients to manage internally. There is less risk of your rollups breaking if and when there are product updates. The free version is limited to 3 active roll-ups/look-ups, which may be sufficient for what you need to do. You can buy the whole ‘Helper Suite’ which may be a better option depending on the requirements for rollups and lookups. See also: ‘The Salesforce Automation Guide’ in: ‘Delivering Training’. Deployment Prodly Paid Not all deployments are equal. Some deployments are made more complex if data (and not metadata) is involved. The reason migrating data from one org to another (for example, from a sandbox to production) is a headache is because each record will have a unique 15/18 digit CRM ID, related to another record with a 15/18 digit CRM ID. These IDs will be different across orgs, so maintaining these data relationships is a huge undertaking. Prodly is one deployment tool that improves the data migration experience for consultants. Some examples where a deployment tool will aid are FinancialForce, GainSight, Conga Composer, Conga CLM, with Prodly especially popular for CPQ deployments. Org Monitoring & Analysis Salesforce Optimizer App Free Salesforce Optimizer is a built-in app that scans a Salesforce org and analyzes 40+ metadata features, such as fields, Apex triggers, page layouts, etc. It’s a great place to start to get a sense of the overall health of an org. The app serves up recommendations on a sidebar with estimated configuration effort and resources. Salesforce Inspector Free Another unmissable Chrome extension for consultants (and developers) that allows you to inspect data and metadata directly from the Salesforce UI. A handy popup reveals what data lies beneath the surface. In the words of the app developer themselves: “improve the productivity and joy of Salesforce configuration, development, and integration work.” Happy Soup is an open-source, dependency inspector developed by Pablo Gonzalez. Keep this app in your back pocket to do quick metadata dependency checks before making a change to a Salesforce org (especially when coming into an unfamiliar org without the full context). For example, before you change or delete a field, check which reports use the field in question. From the slimmed-down interface, select the metadata type, metadata item, and watch the dependencies list unfold. Choose whether to run an impact analysis or deployment boundary analysis. VIDEO Find the Happy Soup documentation here. Elements.cloud is a pricier option, however, it’s aim is to deliver full visibility on requirements-configuration-documentation lifecycle, as opposed to one isolated part (metadata dependency). This has a huge amount of value for large enterprises with multiple consulting/development teams. Delivering Training Don’t forget! Tools that were featured in the ‘Process Mapping & Visualization‘ section can also be used here – in fact, it’s best you do use the same documentation throughout the project lifecycle for continuity. Gamification – Quizizz Free You only need to visit Trailhead once to see the power of gamification in learning, and what may have previously been considered childish (quizzes, badges, bright colours) has taken the Salesforce ecosystem by storm. Consider breaking up your long training sessions with quizzes. Quizizz is the tool that we use for our Trailblazer Community group at the end of each meet-up. Kahoot! was another tool we used in the past, but it seems that after a recent rebrand they are now appealing to the elementary/primary school audience. The Salesforce Automation Guide The Salesforce Automation Guide is a free, self-service resource you should all bookmark. A Senior Technical Architect at Salesforce compiled everything you need to know about Salesforce into one place, including limits, and that all-important ‘future-proofness’. Use it to guide your own work, or for training newbie client-side Admins you are leaving the org keys to after you complete the project.