#my heart belongs to yusuf

[non-un-topo]

re: queer quartet prompts -- idk if you're wanting things to draw or to write, but what about horse stealing? Or horse riding in general? I know you've mentioned the idea of queer quartet accidental baby acquisition recently, and a drawing of that would NEVER go amiss!

Hello, friend, and thank you for the excellent prompt! <33 I definitely cannot draw horses, so have this silly ficlet! 😂

The garden gates flew open, and Andromache barrelled through like a storm. As she stomped over the diligently-laid stone path and into the night, it became clear that there was a rather lewd squelching sound following each of her footsteps.

Oh. No, not following. It was her footsteps. Her felt boots were soaked through. Great.

Behind, still in the candle-lit garden, it sounded like Yusuf was sweet-talking the party guests because how could he not? Nevermind that every rose-adorned prick in there wanted to chase him out the moment he entered.

“That was very heroic of you,” commended (teased) Quỳnh, in step with her as she always was. “Coming to the aid of our dear, defenseless Yusuf. Indeed, I did not think artists liked to get their hands dirty.”

The playful jest was aimed at Yusuf, who must have followed the rest of them out the gates judging by the sound of his affronted gasp.

“Right, they just wanted to hurl disgusting words at him,” said Andromache, steeped in rage and fountain water. How was she supposed to have noticed the one floor tile slightly out of place, just waiting to trip someone? Oh well, a little shallow water never hurt anyone. Well, except for the man she continued to beat on after she pulled him into the fountain with her. Pure, heart-stopping terror on that poor fool’s face.

“They are not artists,” said Yusuf, and Andromache thought he was going to join them in the fun of insulting the rosy buffoons, but instead he explained simply, “They are commissioners, specifically because they do not paint.”

“Well anyway, they didn’t even look at your paintings, Yusuf.”

“Certainly, you’d already punched my client in the jaw before he got the chance.”

Andromache smirked.

“High society and us do not blend, I fear,” sighed Quỳnh with false woe. Andromache turned around in time to see her press the back of her hand to her forehead and swoon.

“No great loss,” said Nicolò, who had been rather forcefully silent since Andromache pulled herself out of the fountain and Yusuf pulled the sopping wet sod out too.

They marched past the stables, housing show horses who belonged to Yusuf’s wealthy client but who remained enclosed during this party. Andromache could never have missed the timeless scent of their coats, the sound of the little huff for attention.

Seeing her family’s sour faces, hidden beneath a thin layer of amusement though they were, Andromache felt that flutter of mischief return.

She crossed over to the stables and reached into the window above the closed door where a lean, well-groomed head peaked out at her. She hushed it, running her hand down its velvety nose, admiring its shiny golden coat.

“My heart,” said Quỳnh, as one speaks to a child who has just spotted a toy they want.

“Shh,” Andromache hushed the horse, who huffed and shook its head left to right, a mop of golden-thread hair falling into its eyes. “I’m making a friend. Isn’t that right, you beauty? Was it you who called to me?”

“Oh,” muttered Yusuf, behind, “she’s doing it again.”

“Andromache, that horse is not yours,” whispered Nicolò.

“You are not anybody’s,” Andromache cooed at the horse, gentling it, brushing down its nose. “Isn’t that right? Would you like to be free?”

“Oh, dear,” returned Yusuf’s voice.

There was a good long moment of silence where all Andromache could hear was crickets and the whistling breath of the horse, before Quỳnh piped up and joined her at the stables.

“Alright,” Quỳnh said, and opened the doors. “Quickly.”

Andromache could have swooned, herself.

She took the golden mare, of course. They were friends now, were they not? Quỳnh fetched a lovely brown and white gelding from farther inside the stables, and into Yusuf’s hands she placed the reins of a moon-silver mare. When she dipped back inside the pitch darkness of the stables, Nicolò leaned his back to the door, eyes on the garden party they’d left behind.

Then from the shadows Quỳnh appeared with a fourth set of reins in her hand. But behind her came the shape of a horse’s head no more than four feet off the ground.

Andromache held in a howl with all the restraint in the world.

“Here you are, brother,” Quỳnh chirped, as she guided the pony to Nicolò. He turned away from the garden to look, and did what could only be called a double-take before looking up at Quỳnh’s retreating back with wide eyes.

“Mount,” ordered Quỳnh, and Andromache did as she was told, yes ma’am.

Voices were beginning to raise from the direction of the garden. Easy as slipping into a pair of pants, Andromache mounted the mare and they took off, Quỳnh and Yusuf not far behind.

“Hey!” barked Nicolò, the poor thing. “Hey!”

Andromache looked back to see him trying to straddle the pony, practically standing up normally with his legs on either side of its stout belly. With a little tug on its reins he tried to get it to move forward, and just when Andromache thought the sight could not get any more ridiculous, the pony began to prance with the daintiest, shortest steps Andromache had ever seen. Nicolò looked behind himself at the angry mob coming their way, and screamed as he hunched forward on his belly over the pony’s back. It barely picked up the pace.

Andromache had tears in her eyes when she looked forward again. Floods of tears.

“Why must you be so cruel!” Yusuf wailed, though she heard the cheeky bastard laughing too. “My love, I’m coming for you!”

As Yusuf clicked his tongue and turned his horse around, Quỳnh pulled the gelding up to Andromache’s side.

“Such mischief, my Quỳnh.”

“Hey…” Quỳnh was the picture of innocence with the way she batted her eyelashes. “The pony was all that was left.”

Andromache threw her head back with a laugh, and she absolutely did not nearly fall off the horse.

[dhyanshiva]

LIF 4 (DUOLOGY)

P1: gone long enough (Yusuf)

Category: M

Word Count: 2386

Date: 19.02.24

I am deliberately not putting this under the cut.

Firstly, and most importantly, to darling Tim:

This song will always and forevermore belong to Isla, you and Sam. I promise you, I haven't (and quite honestly) could not listen to the song as I wrote. You are so loved and cherished and we miss and love you endlessly.

Fly high, dear boy <3

Alright, so, what I mean by this is I have written this piece from a place of incandescent fury, grief and an unfathomable level of disbelief. Did I mention rage? Well, yes.

As it so happens, all the Manzoors' LIF pieces are connected. Similarly, Suhani and Veer's will be connected, as they're blood family.

There are many vigorous nods, as it were to the brilliant @zeesqueere 's equally (obviously) incredible series installment for Yusuf. It has also been linked in my piece. My endless gratitude remains.

So, I'll try to keep this brief. I wrote Faruq's on the date my friend and I got tickets to see Hozier back in March of 2023. I wrote Saba's piece with the core integration of Anoushka Shankar's "Land of Gold". Faruq's "Foreigner's God" and this album are intrinsically linked.

I'd in fact chosen "ATE" as Afroz's song in April of last year - there are memos for this series everywhere you can think of - but as things go, the execution has changed. Her companion installment will be the second chapter of this piece - I have no wish to further isolate these characters.

Incidentally and beautifully so, I had the privilege of seeing Anoushka Shankar in concert last month and her set had a Land Of Gold sweep (naturally) so my mind went to Saba's piece. And then, as you'll see in this playlist:

"Ishq" and "Secret Heart" were played in succession with an incredible transition/ bridge. Yet, it all slammed into place today morning, devastatingly so. I apologise for any incoherence in this piece but I cannot remedy it.

My parting message for this is:

Protect Trans Kids. Protect Trans Lives. Protect Queer Lives.

Much Love,

Dhyan x

[burdenofsigynsarms]

Love Is Where All Of Us Belong

A GentleBeard Mix

Spotify and YouTube versions!

Inspired by Stede Bonnet and Edward Teach, and the music of Our Flag Means Death

31 songs, 1hr 48mins without ads

I finished this playlist last year, and decided to share it as we await season 2!

An asterisk indicates a song is from the original soundtrack. These songs form our core sound for this mix. My usual ship mixes tend to be a touch… chaotic. But I wanted this one to feel seamless with the established sound of the series. Now let’s set sail on the seas of love!

“I suppose if you found the absolutely two perfect people... then they could potentially... Co-captain?” ~ Stede Bonnet

*A Pirate’s Life – Joel Fry ‘Oh, a pirate’s life sounds just right. Sounds quite nice.’ I had to include Frenchie’s little ditty about pirating as our opener.

Lost Coastlines – Okkervil River ‘The ship's deck now sags from the weight of our tracks. As we pace beneath flags black and battered.’ I kinda stumbled across this one by accident. But it has a great ‘setting off on an adventure’ sound to it that I really like, and it goes well with our sound and lyrical imagery.

*Miles From Nowhere – Yusuf/Cat Stevens 'Cause I know when I find it, my honey. It's gonna make me feel good.’ Probably one of my favorite songs from the soundtrack. Working on this mix I have discovered I really love our boy, Cat Stevens. Expect to hear more from him in the near future.

Soul of the Sea – Heart ‘You dreamer in the sand. Just lie there laughing ‘til the fall.’ When I saw Heart had a song on the Dreamboat Annie album called Soul of the Sea I was like, “Oh, this is gonna be good.” And I was not wrong. I love the ocean sounds on the track, and the theme of casting your sorrows to the sea.

The Sundown – Ennio Morricone Since Il Triello was on the original soundtrack, we had to have some Morricone up in here. I love the calm before the storm feeling this song has.

*The Empty Boat – Caetano Veloso This one is just a vibe, and a really important song for sound in this mix. The guitar, the maracas, the uneasy feeling of the discordant instruments that builds up to that jazzy vibe. Perfection.

*Perfect Day – Lou Reed ‘You made me forget myself. I thought I was someone else. Someone good.’ This song really has that happy lyrics/sad feeling vibe that is very disconcerting to listen to. The part of the show where it plays is just SO SAD, and I think the highlighted lyric really hits how Ed’s relationship with Stede makes him feel like a better person than he thinks he is.

“This is who I am, Stede. Can you see me now? You were always gonna realize what I am." ~ Edward Teach

Trouble – Yusuf/Cat Stevens ‘I've seen your eyes. And I can see death's disguise. Hangin' on me.’ The concept of ‘death’s disguise’ and how it relates to Ed’s Blackbeard persona, and by extension the Kraken, really hit the spot for me. Plus this song just has a ‘beat up by life’ vibe that is great.

*Locomotive Breath – Jethro Tull ‘No way to slow down.’ What is it about Locomotive Breath that makes it sound like a self-destructive spiral?

Love Calls You by Your Name – Leonard Cohen ‘Your body lost in legend. The beast so very tame. But here, right here. Between the birthmark and the stain. Between the ocean and your open vein... Love calls you by your name’ The guitar work that Leonard is doing on this album is impeccable. I’m too emotionally scarred by Avalanche to include it on this mix, but I had to include something from Songs of Love and Hate on here.

Beacon Hill – Damien Jurado ‘And if you return to me, oh, if you return to me. It's all right, baby.’ This song captures the feeling of wanting someone to come home, but knowing they won’t be the same that feels very appropriate for this ship.

String Reprise/Treaty – Leonard Cohen ‘I wish there was a treaty. Between your love and mine.’ Did someone order a plate of forgiveness and reconciliation?

Pastoral II – Moondog I discovered that Moondog is primarily a composer, and the album that High on a Rocky Ledge is from is one of his few lyrical ventures. I love how soft this piece is; it gives me big Stede vibes.

“How does it feel to be in love?” “It feels... easy? It's just like breathing... I hope you find that.” “I think I have.” “Really? What's her name?” “Ed. His name is Ed.” ~ Stede and Mary Bonnet

Throw Me Now Your Arms –Damien Jurado ‘Let me be the one at day's end. Who you can depend on, hand in hand.’ I don’t think I have the words to fully express how much I love this song and how much it had to be here. The imagery in the lyrics is just so spot on.

*High on a Rocky Ledge – Moondog ‘If you've the yen to pluck, then pluck us both. For we who have lived as one wish to die as one.’ This song has such a lovely, soft, fairytale-esque vibe. Also, the lyrics about sacrificing yourself to be with the one you love turn out to be super relevant to our pairing.

Time Has Told Me – Nick Drake ‘And time will tell you. To stay by my side. To keep on trying. 'Til there's no more to hide.’ Nick Drake is another one of my happy discoveries while building this mix. His voice, and the guitar, is just so good.

*The Chain – Fleetwood Mac ‘And if you don't love me now. You will never love me again.’ The almighty. The holy of holies. The song which 80% of the fanfiction for this series draws its titles from. One of unquestionably the best sequences in show, and an all-around banger.

Wild World – Yusuf/Cat Stevens ‘If you gotta leave take good care. Hope you have a lot of nice things to wear. Then a lot of nice things turn bad out there.’ This song is SO SASSY. It reminds me of all the shit everyone gives Stede about not being realistic or prepared to be a pirate. I love the dig about ‘nice things to wear’, especially for our clothes horse Captain Bonnet.

Hey, That’s No Way to Say Goodbye – Leonard Cohen ‘I'm not looking for another as I wander in my time.’ ‘You know my love goes with you as your love stays with me. It's just the way it changes, like the shoreline and the sea.’ I can’t begin to describe to absolute hair-pulling experience it was looking for something soft and romantic in Leonard Cohen’s discography. But Hey, That’s No Way to Say Goodbye came through in a BIG way.

(Love Me Like Music) I’ll Be Your Song – Heart ‘Can you feel the light shine. You know this song's yours and mine.’ Sometimes when life gets hard, you gotta reconnect with that loving feeling.

Take A Chance On Me – ABBA ‘Let me tell you now. My love is strong enough to last when things are rough. It's magic.’ I don’t know if it’s the lasting impact of Mamma Mia on my psyche, but ABBA is perfect on any ship mix. Whatever the vibe is, they have you covered. And Take A Chance On Me is the perfect ‘take me back, we belong together’ song.

"There. Look at that. You wear fine things well." ~ Stede Bonnet

Gnossienne No. 5 (Arr. For Guitar) – Erik Satie, Sebastian Llinares Known in the fandom as the ‘Fine Things Motif’, this piece plays during Ed and Stede’s romantic moments together. I was VERY excited to find this guitar arrangement since it plays so nicely with the rest of the music on this mix.

Don’t Be Shy – Yusuf/Cat Stevens ‘Love is better than a song. Love is where all of us belong.’ Ah, the namesake for this playlist. This is one of my corner-stone, cannot live without songs on this playlist. It’s so soft and perfect.

This Magic Moment – Lou Reed ‘And then it happened. It took me by surprise. I knew that you felt it too. By the look in your eyes’ Is that sexual tension? In my playlist? *gasp*

“These past few weeks have been the most fun I've had in ages, years, maybe ever. So, I reckon what makes Ed happy is... you.” ~ Edward Teach

Everywhere – Fleetwood Mac ‘Something's happening. Happening to me. My friends say I'm acting peculiarly.’ ‘I want to be with you everywhere.’ The song that started us down this road. I was listening to Fleetwood Mac, trying to un-stick The Chain from my brain, when this came on and I went, “What if I made a ship mix?” And here we are.

Dreamboat Annie (Fantasy Child) – Heart ‘Little ship of dreams.’ It’s silly but this just always makes me think of the Revenge sailing off into the sunset.

Reasons For Waiting – Jethro Tull ‘Came a thousand miles. Just to catch you while you're smiling.’ You know, when Jethro Tull can chill with the flute just a little, they can make some pretty freaking beautiful music. This song has big, sexy energy to me. Making out in the afternoon sun. Just warm and tingly and lovely.

*Our Prayer – The Beach Boys I’ll let you decide what I was thinking when I put this song here…

The Air That I Breathe – The Hollies ‘If I could make a wish. I think I'd pass.’ If this isn’t soft, sweet, love-making music, then I don’t know what is honestly. It just has that post-coital bliss sound to it. Plus, if that highlighted lyric doesn’t scream pure contentment, what does?

When All Is Said and Done – ABBA ‘It's so strange when you're down and lying on the floor. How you rise, shake your head, get up and ask for more.’ I was so excited to discover that this was originally a fast-paced song. It’s SO MUCH BETTER than the slowed down version they have in Mamma Mia. I thought it’d be nice to come towards a close with a song about looking back on adventures with the ones we love, and looking forward to what’s to come.

Candle On The Water – Okkervil River ‘Look for me, reaching out to show. As sure as rivers flow. I'll never let you go.’ Is it one of my playlists without an end credit song? I should think not. I had to include Candle On The Water on this playlist; the lighthouse imagery played in too beautifully with Stede and the symbology around his character. And, it would seem I’m totally incapable of making a playlist without at least one Disney song, so this fulfills my quota :’D

Thank you for listening! I hope you’ve enjoyed our musical journey with Blackbeard and the Gentleman Pirate! Until next time!

[sassygwaine]

here it is! the soundtrack to a love that won't sit still, the rather sprawling modern au series that i've been pouring my heart into these past couple months

best listened to in playlist order, track list below the cut

stray italian greyhound – vienna teng

this feeling calls for everything that I am not / I’m not that kind / I’m so good at shooting down any notion / this tired world could change

benjamin alphabet – super whatevr

if we weren’t so alike, maybe we’d work it out / but we’re stuck in this rut and my mind’s headed south

doa – olen

you hurt me bad just for fun / someday, some way / someone’s gonna love me

pressed 2 death – illuminati hotties

you only like me when I’m sad / you only want me when I’m feeling bad

bambi – hippo campus

I swear to god I wasn’t born to fight / maybe just a little bit, enough to make me sick of it / but I can read between the lines / I want to run from everything / but my legs won’t work it’s clear to me

sleep with a baseball bat – cosmic johnny

hey, space cadet / are you still floating around the rock / that you spent so much of your life trying to get away from / and does it at least look different up there?

settling – ripe

every time that you behave / every time you play it safe / you can feel it getting harder / still you’re waiting for things to get better / but you’re not sure if it’s now or never

bummer days – liza anne

I don’t know what I want, but I know that I feel bad / and then when I feel good, I think I make myself sad

heaven – los lonely boys

save me from this prison / lord help me get away / ‘cause only you can save me now / from this misery / I’ve been lost in my own place / and I’m getting weary

change – the catching

it’s time for a change / get out of your brain / it’s time that you’re wasting / you feel pretty vacant / it’s different than it was before

baby blue shades – bad suns

oh, I can see the moon from my kitchen / but I cannot see through this decision / I close my eyes and cross a line

everybody breaks – ivan & alyosha

who’s gonna bend now? / who’s gonna break? / who’s got the map to tell me what’s at stake?

heaven – bayside

but I’m getting old, it’s so contagious / if life’s a ride, then I don’t know the way / and I am a loner / and I am a fraud / and I am in hell / right where I belong / I am a sinner / but aren’t we all?

talk it up – sammy rae & the friends

smoky walls, dusty halls / no one calls / and all the window plants are dying / she talk it up / half empty cup / half-hearted love / half of the time halfway through crying

good riddance – green day

another turning point, a fork stuck in the road / time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go / so make the best of this test and don’t ask why

roots – grumpster

any time I think I feel at home again, I hit the ground running ‘til I’m gone

dwell on the guilt of saving myself – super whatevr

when everything is good, I feel like I’m somebody else / the sick loves the sick, but I’m sick of the dying. where’s the shame in wanting to grow old?

lady d’arbanville – yusuf / cat stevens

I’ll wake you tomorrow

life was easier when I only cared about me – bad suns

I had no reason to breathe / until you knocked the wind out of me / I had no light I could see / until your radiance blinded me / I was spinning around and around in an ocean of grief / your ladder came down to the sea

go your own way – fleetwood mac

open up, everything’s waiting for you

real contender – the dip

changin’ of the seasons / time is always creepin’ along / I wanna be a real contender / whether you see it or not / I know it’s in there, somewhere / this thing that we got / for once in my life I am sure of something

south – hippo campus

you broke down and left me with a / chest hum, black gun, and forty dollars / three weeks down, I drowned myself in whiskey

sabotage – beastie boys

I can’t stand rocking when I’m in here / ‘cause your crystal ball ain’t so crystal clear / so while you sit back and wonder why / I got this fucking thorn in my side

psycho – maisie peters

I feel like you feel nothing, that’s fine / please leave this behind / you’re losing your mind / calling me a hundred times / time you drew a line / and stopped wasting mine

well, fuck – mal blum

or did you lose like every other time you lost? / you have a god, you have a boss, no matter what you call / it’s all the same / fuck you, but I’ll do the things you want me to

gone insane – lucius

my heart’s so heavy I’m gonna need your help / losing my grip while holding everything else / my fists are clenched and I’m so angry with myself / the time we share is in the suffering / we’re all alone in this togetherness / go on and call me the one who’s gone insane / oh I will be the one who’s gone insane

slip the noose – the maine

I was on the verge of breaking down/ then you came around/ and not a second too late

trying to kill the moon – motherfolk

I never wanted it all / ‘til I found you / teach me as I fall / to fall towards you

crystal – stevie nicks

I turned around / and the water was closing all around / like a glove / like the love that had finally, finally found me

didya think – arlie

didya think it’d be easy? / I’ll tell you if it was easy / then everybody’d do it too

little words – the happy fits

darling, darling, darling, let me shelter you / lay you into all the homes that fear has made of me / how the shingles fall like dust beside your company

hide – rainbow kitten surprise

and he’s a better kisser than you’d think, mom / he’s a better listener than most / we took pretty pictures by the sea, mom / fell in love and sailed off

I’m okay – honest men

I’m in a good position to lose it again / the cards are dealt and my hand is in / the push and pull of my own chagrin / I’m alright

flipside – ripe

it’s alright to dive / with survival on your mind / you can take it step by step / ‘til you find solid ground

conversation – mom rock

you feel the pain and blame it on yourself / you feel the pain and hurt someone else

better in the morning – birdtalker

behind my eyes a familiar child / I take his hand and he finally smiles / be gentle with yourself as you uncover / your best kept secrets yet to be discovered

the reckoning – dom fera

change ain’t so sudden / it just hides as it’s coming / is this change or fruition / of some hope and ambition? / is this all repercussions?

bloodlust – left at London

what is hell to the god that you pray to? / either way, tell the devil “just trust us” / don’t expect anybody would’ve saved you / bloodlust tastes a little like justice

divine violence – itoldyouiwouldeatyou

and I know your father was an asshole but you ought to learn / how to keep yourself alive / because I shoot on sight now

work out – rainbow kitten surprise

well, the first cut was the deepest / but it healed up whole / and the last one was a clean hit / but I bled out below

shimmer – fuel

she says that love / is for fools that fall behind / and I’m somewhere between / I never really know a killer from a savior / ‘til I break at the bend

strangest faces – bayside

I have seen the strangest faces / yellow teeth and scary eyes / it turns out they’ve been there all my life / it’s hard to find a friendly face / when you’ve got nothing left to sell

lord is it mine – supertramp

when everything’s dark / and nothing seems right / there’s nothing to win / and there’s no need to fight / I never cease to wonder at the cruelty of this land / but it seems a time of sadness is a time to understand

the garden – the happy fits

so if I lay down / and let roots grow ‘round / would it make me whole again? / and if barren wood / could touch this ground, oh / flower it would

superbloom – misterwives

wallflower in the spring / they can’t contain you / through the cracks, you break through

saw it coming – sammy rae & the friends

you’re gonna get the good that’s coming to you / you deserve it / even if you do not feel like you do

ghost stories – the narcissist cookbook

there is no ‘why’ about it / there is a ‘how’, I suppose, don’t really understand it though / maybe if I dug around a bit in the soil / I’d find out where all this love comes from and what it’s for / but then the question would be answered

two – sleeping at last

like a force to be reckoned with / a mighty ocean or a gentle kiss / I will love you without any strings attached / and what a privilege it is to love / a great honor to hold you up

nobody – hozier

we could have less to worry about / honey, I won’t lie to you / but everything I do / I’ve had no love like your love

you are the best thing – ray lamontagne

and baby / the way you move me, it’s crazy / it’s like you see right through me / and make it easier

easy silence – the chicks

and I’ve got all the world to lose / but I just want to hold on to / the easy silence that you make for me

living my best life – ben rector

I wake up with the sunrise / it does not look a thing like I thought that I would / but I’ve been getting my steps in / and I sleep with my best friend / it’s the best that it has been in a long time

know that I know – lake street dive

yeah, we’re like sneakers and gym socks / you’re happy hour and I am five o’clock / you’re captain kirk to my spock / you know I’m dee dee ramone and you’re punk rock

good old-fashioned lover boy – queen

I can dim the lights and sing you songs full of sad things / we can do the tango just for two / I can serenade and gently play on your heart strings

sweetheart – kerry courtney

with everything you’ve been through dear / you’re stronger than you think / you’re kinda fucked up / and I love you for it / you’ve got a sweetheart / don’t you dare forget it

kick it to me – sammy rae & the friends

nowadays we’re working at the same pace / I’m still here still bright when the night comes / still burning, still bright when the night comes

[alzaeemadel]

My Friday Dua

‏Oh Allah grant me the wisdom to separate between false and truth, fact and opinion

Oh Allah do not make my love of

you based on my mood, age, status, health but make it strong and eternal regardless.

‏Oh Allah grant me wisdom to know when to speak even if in doubt of my accuracy and when to be silent even if certain I am right

‏Oh Allah grant me the wisdom to distinguish between a social tradition that I should respect and another I must strive to change

improve.

‏Oh Allah protect me from praises that could spoil and corrupt and forgive what praisers don t know

‏Oh Allah I ask you not to weaken my memory when I grow old, lest I forget all the amazing things you taught me

‏Oh Allah I live in an age where the focus is on the individual, and I belong to a heritage that focused on the community

‏Oh Allah grant me the wisdom to balance between the two

‏Oh Allah make me not judge others for you are the judge of people

Oh Allah immerse me in the river of your wisdom

‏Oh Allah grant me the ability to read fast yet reflect, and know the details yet comprehend the bigger

picture.

‏Oh Allah grant me the ability to

simplify the complex, comprehend the difficult.

Oh Allah help me inspire people, motivate the young, and forget pains and agonies.

‏Oh Allah strengthen my memory to memorise, my mind to understand, my heart to love you, my body to

worship you, my will to improve,

and my action to please you.

‏Oh Allah give me the ability to live

my time but be ahead of it, adapt to my society but reform it, cherish my past history but learning from its mistakes.

‏Oh Allah give me the wisdom to know when to accept and when to reject, when to forgive and when to punish, when to give and when to deny, when to speak and when to

be silent.

‏Oh Allah grant me Knowledge, understanding, creativity, experience, skills, intelligence, intuition, inspiration, sincerity

modesty, and wisdom.

‏Oh Allah grant me the remorse of

Adam, the certainty of Ibrahim, the forgiveness of Yusuf, the patience of Ayub, the remembrance of Yunis, the tenderness of Issa and the comprehensiveness of Muhammad, Peace be upon them all.

Ameen.

‏Hesham Al-Awadi, author of Muhammad ‎ﷺ: How He Can Make You Extraordinary

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Muhammad-How-Can-Make-Extraordinary/dp/1535195975

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[lifeofresulullah]

The Life of The Prophet Muhammad(pbuh): The Conquest of Makkah and Afterwards

The Conquest of Makkah: Part 7

The Prophet Enters the Kaaba

The Messenger of God sent somebody to Uthman b. Talha and asked for the key to the Kaaba. Though Uthman b. Talha’s mother urged him not to give the key to the Kaaba to the Prophet, Talha gave him the key.

The Messenger of God entered the Kaaba together with Bilal, Usama b. Zayd and Uthman b. Talha (may God be pleased with them). He had ordered beforehand that the pictures and idols inside be removed; however, there were still some traces of them inside. He gave an order for those traces to be cleaned up.

After staying inside the Kaaba for a while, the Prophet came out. Meanwhile, almost all of the people of Makkah had gathered and were waiting for the decree of the Prophet about them.  

They wondered if the Messenger of God would throw tripe against their faces as they had done to him? Or, would he throw thorns on the road and make them walk on thorns? Or, would he torture and insult them? Would he put a rope around their necks and make them walk around the streets as they had done to some Companions? Would he torture them by making them lie down on scorching sand? Would he leave them hungry and thirsty? Or, would they be expelled?

No, Messenger of God, for whose sake the universe was created and who was sent as mercy for the realms, did not do any of them.

The Sermon of the Conquest

The Messenger of God stood by the door of the Kaaba. He was looking at the people with a smile on his face. After praising and thanking God, he recited the following sermon:

“There is no god but Allah; He has no partners.

He fulfilled His promise; He helped His slave and eliminated the enemies that gathered against him.

Know it well that all of the things that belong to the Era of Jahiliyya and that are regarded as means of pride like feuds, and conflicts regarding property have been abolished.

All people were created out of Adam; and Adam was created out of dust.

“O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that ye may know each other (not that ye may despise each other). Verily the most honored of you in the sight of God is (he who is) the most righteous of you. And God has full knowledge and is well acquainted (with all things).” (al-Hujurat, 13)

General amnesty

After his sermon, the Messenger of God asked the people there: “O Qurayshis! What do you think I will do to you?”

The Qurayshis said, “You are a generous and good brother. You are a generous and good nephew. We think you will do good things about us.”

Thereupon, the Messenger of God said,

“My situation and your situation are like what Joseph (Yusuf) said to his brothers.”“I am saying to you what Yusuf said to his brothers, ‘This day let no reproach be (cast) on you: God will forgive you, and He is the Most Merciful of those who show mercy’” (Yusuf, 92).

“You can leave; you are free.”

The best pardoning is to pardon when one has power; the best favor is the favor done in return for bad deeds. The best mercy is to show mercy on those who have not shown mercy on you. That was what the Messenger of God did because he was taught the following by God Almighty:

“Hold to forgiveness; command what is right; but turn away from the ignorant.”

At that moment, the Qurayshis were waiting in the presence of the Messenger of God lowering their heads and opening their hands. If he had wished, he would have killed all of them in return for the oppression and tortures they had inflicted upon him or he would have enslaved them; he could have confiscated their land and exiled them.

However, the Prophet, who was sent as mercy to the realms, did not do any of them. His only aim was to conquer people’s hearts. Thanks to this exceptional attitude of his, the Prophet served his aim very well. Upon his merciful behavior, pardoning and generosity, the Qurayshi polytheists abandoned their feelings of hatred and enmity; they embraced Islam.  

History witnessed such a magnificent spiritual and ideological revolution for the first time.

No Migration after the Conquest

It was on the day when Makkah was conquered.

Abdurrahman b. Safwan brought his father to the presence of the Messenger of God. He said,

“O Messenger of God! My father will pay allegiance to you and promise to migrate.”

The Messenger of God said, “There is no migration after the conquest of Makkah.”

Nevertheless, Abdurrahman wanted his father to benefit from the spiritual reward of being a muhajir. Therefore, he went to Hazrat Abbas, the Prophet’s uncle. He asked Abbas, whom the Prophet loved a lot, to intercede for him.  

Abbas accepted Abdurrahman’s request and said to the Prophet, “O Messenger of God! You know my friendship with that person. His father came to you to pay allegiance by promising to migrate but you did not accept him.”

Makkah, which was the only remaining castle of the Arabian polytheists, had been conquered. Islam gained great strength through it. Therefore, the Prophet decided to end the institution of migration. That is why, he did not answer his uncle, whom he loved a lot positively. He said, “There is no allegiance for migration from now onward.”

The migration that the Messenger of God ended was migration from a Muslim land, where Muslims could practice Islam freely to another Muslim land. That is, it was migration from Makkah and places near Makkah to Madinah when the Prophet was alive.

The Second Sermon of the Prophet

On the second day of the conquest, after the noon prayer, the Messenger of God went up the ladder of the Kaaba, leaned back the Kaaba, praised God and addressed the people as follows:

“O people!

There is no doubt that God rendered Makkah haram and untouchable on the day He created the skies and the earth, the sun and the moon; it will remain haram and untouchable until the Doomsday.

It is not permissible for a person who believes in God and the hereafter to shed blood and to cut trees within the boundaries of the Haram of Makkah. To shed blood in Makkah was not permissible before me and it will not be permissible after me, either.

Those who are listening to me here should convey what I say to those who are not here.

…

From his point onward, the family of a person who is killed will have two choices. They will want either the killer to be executed or blood money to be paid to them.

There is no doubt that the most disrespectful, ferocious and fiercest person toward God Almighty among people is the one that kills a person or kills a person other than his murderer or that kills a person in order to take revenge remaining from the Era of Jahiliyya.  

A person cannot attribute himself to anybody except his father or a relative of his fathers. A child that is born belongs to the owner of the bed.

It is the duty of the plaintiff to bring evidence to prove his claim and it is the duty of the denier to swear an oath.

There is no Jahiliyya treaty in Islam or migration after the conquest.

A Muslim is a brother of another Muslim; all Muslims are brothers. Muslims are like a single hand against their enemies; they act in cooperation.

…

The bloods of Muslims are equal to one another. They try to fulfill their duties; the weakest of them try to fulfill even the most difficult ones.  

Know it very well that a believer, a Muslim cannot be killed for an unbeliever; nor those who have vows among them can be killed for unbelievers living in the land of unbelievers due to their vows.

There is no exchange marriage without dowers in Islam.

A man cannot marry the aunt of his wife while he is married with her.

It is not permissible for a woman to give away the goods of his husband without his permission.

A woman is not allowed to go on a three-day journey or a longer one without being accompanied by one of her mahram men.

Know it very well that a will is not necessary for inheritance. Members of different religion cannot be the inheritors of one another.

The diyah of one finger is ten camels. The diyah of a deep wound under which the bone is seen is five camels.  

No prayer can be performed after the morning prayer until the sun rises. No prayer can be performed after the afternoon prayer until the sun sets.

I prohibit you from fasting on two days: One of them is the day of eid al-adha, the other is the day of eid al-fitr.

I showed you the way that you can understand.”

[therenegadesexualmystic]

So we all agree that Yusuf Al-Kaysani is the most beautiful man in the world, yes? (Followed closely by Luca Marinelli and Marwan Kanzari in some order, maybe a tie depending on hair & face scruff).

[lovelikedestiny]

“Are you carrying me?” A rough voice asks quietly and Joe involuntarily cradles Nicky tighter against his chest, looking down on his soulmate who is disorientedly blinking up at him.

“Of course. I would carry you every day of my life if I could,” Joe replies with a loving grin and they both ignore the fact that he is trying to lighten the mood and distract Nicky and him from Nicky’s missing lower leg.

“Ever the romantic,” Nicky murmurs, words slurred through exhaustion, pain and blood loss and Joe’s heart clenches. “Andyandbooker?”

“Have taken the other way to shake off possible pursuers.”

The abandoned path in the mysterious forest with emerald leaves and golden sun rays, painting patterns of shadows on the moss-covered ground could have been a peaceful scenery. The drying, itching blood on Joe’s skin and the shredded flesh under Joe’s jacket where Nicky’s left leg had been before the explosion, are a stark contrast to the pleasant stillness in the woods.

“Are you hurt?”

Admittedly, Joe’s whole body is flooded with pure affection at this concerned question by Nicky although Nicky is the one missing a leg. Joe had been shot several times but no, he wasn’t hurt anymore. “No, I’m all healed up, my love. Don’t worry.”

Nicky tries to lift his head and inspect his wound but it falls with a suppressed grunt against Joe’s shoulder. “I’m worried about how long you’ve already been carrying me. You must be tired, Yusuf.” On the one hand Joe wants to keep Nicky awake and talking for a fear that has never left him but Nicky looks like he needs a good rest due to the healing process.

“I am,” Joe says because Nicky can tell if he’s lying and kisses Nicky’s head in a soothing gesture without coming to a halt. Their getaway car is on a clearing with a direct link to a remote road out of here. “But if I can spare you the slightest discomfort, I’m happy to be tired a little longer.”

Whatever Nicky wants to say is interrupted by a wet cracking sound and Joe hisses in empathy as he feels Nicky’s leg muscles tense and move. Nicky swallows a groan, lips a thin line.

He squeezes Nicky’s wrist encouragingly and Nicky breathes heavily into Joe’s shirt, riddled with bullets. “Is that..your good jack…” Crack. “...et you wrapped my” Pop. “l-leg in?”

To be honest, regrowing a limb is always a painful and disgusting experience and Joe raises his voice to drown out the sounds of the healing tissue and bone. “I can buy a new one.” He would destroy all of his belongings if it would mean to protect Nicky from any harm.

Nicky jerks in his arms when there is a particularly nasty crack and sinks back again, his eyes pinched close. He opens them after Joe walks five metres and Joe melts under the weight of the warm, albeit glassy kaleidoscope eyes. “Did it have to be bridal-style?” His tone tells Joe his underlying amusement and the attempt to help Joe keep the mood light.

“My apologies, I didn’t think about throwing you over my shoulder like a flour sack, considering it is not romantic at all.” He winks at Nicky, enjoying the way it causes his crooked smile. “Besides you’re an incredibly handsome groom, if I’m allowed to say so myself.”

The soft snort-laugh from Nicky turns into a sharp inhalation. “Is that so? Even without two functional legs?”

“Even without two functional legs,” Joe confirms, carefully crossing an uneven place. “You’re always beautiful.”

Nicky doesn’t respond, the tender touch of his fingers on Joe’s knuckles as light as a feather is enough. Eight minutes and a healed calf later Nicky takes the floor again and his gentle voice gets Joe to look at him.

“Would you?”

“Would I what?”

“Marry me again?”

It doesn’t matter how many centuries he and Nicky are already in a relationship, Nicky’s honesty always manages to take Joe’s breath away with the simplest questions.

He realizes he’s staring wordlessly too long at Nicky when he stumbles and nearly sends them both flying. The sudden movement jolts Nicky’s now regrowing foot and Joe quickly apologizes. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I will be more careful, I promise.”

Nicky smiles through the pain, utterly perfect. “Yusuf Al-Kaysani, light of my life, will you do me the honor and marry me again for the…”

“Fourth,” Joe says, completely bewitched.

“For the fourth time? I’m grateful for every day I can spend with you and waking up in your arms is the greatest gift. Even though there are not enough words to express my undying love for you and not a single treasure is as precious as your smile…” Crunch. This time Nicky doesn’t even flinch, his whole focus resting on Joe. “I want to show the world that you are and always will be my one and only. And maybe I just want to carry you in bridal-style too,” he adds mischievously and out of Joe bursts a wet laugh.

When they arrive at the opening, Andy and Booker are already waiting for them.

“You alright?” Andy asks, watching as Joe gently sets Nicky down who limps slightly but can walk alone by now.  

“Nicky proposed to me,” Joe says proudly and Nicky grins as Andy rolls her eyes and Booker makes a retching noise.

“You fucking serious? You got married like...a decade ago.” Booker opens the backdoor of the car and Nicky climbs in.

“Love doesn’t have an expiration date,” Nicky informs him dryly and with sparkling eyes and Booker coughs.

“Yeah, whatever. I-”

“Shut up, Book,” Joe tells him smugly. “We’re engaged, be nice!”

“But I have to do all the work with the papers,” Booker complains.

“I want to be Nicky’s bridesmaid this time,” Andy announces from the driver’s seat and Joe laughs and gets in the car too while Booker takes the passenger seat. “Last time I was yours, Joe.”

“Of course,” Nicky agrees warmly and looks at Booker. “You owe me, Sebastien. I lost my leg because I pushed you out of the way.”

“He has a point, Book,” Andy says.

“I had to sacrifice my good jacket,” Joe interjects.

After a deep sigh, Booker repeats “Fine, whatever” but he is smiling.

[musings-and-moans]

Leave the Door Open (Tetsuro Kuroo x Reader)

Summary: While driving back to Tokyo, you kiss Tetsuro Kuroo, telling him that you want him, and he urges you to stay the night. This happens when you guys reach home.

Content Warnings: Shower sex, reader has body insecurities, fingering, Kuroo has flashbacks of his cheating ex, oral sex (m! receiving), cowgirl, creampie, unprotected sex, smut mixed with fluff and teeny bit angst, Minors DNI at all!!

Number of words: 2166

A/N: This is my very first smut on Tumblr, and for this, I've crossposted the smut chapter I wrote from my Wattpad fanfic here. The chapter and the fanfic as a whole belong to my Kuroo x OC fanfic, so I've changed it to Kuroo x Reader here. But I can assure you that this storyline is mine. I hope you enjoy it. <3

Tagging: @novaresque @cuz-like-why-not @cherrieneko @tetsvrei @wakatshi @saltyvanilla @beware-of-the-rogue @hyeque @sabyss @cirigiri @jordyn-degas

You can be a part of my future posts here <33

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"....I ain't playing no games, Every word that I say is coming straight from the heart So if you tryna lay in these arms ... I'ma leave the door open"

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Kuroo's POV

As the car stops, the jerk causes me to open my eyes and acknowledge that we've arrived home. I remember (F/N) telling me I was so blessed to have a massive house like this. But she isn't aware that most of the time I was actually lonely. Like I wanted this house as a symbol of accomplishing my dreams, but without having someone to share it with, the house felt like an empty shell. At least, until now.

"(N/N)," I cried out to her, using my thumb to caress her cheek as she opened her eyes. God, she's so beautiful. "Yes, Tetsu," she softly calls out my name, opening her eyes and tenderly smiling at me. "We're home," I responded, kissing her forehead. Her smile becomes livelier like she wanted this as well. "Yusuf?" She calls out to my chauffeur, who is now like a friend to her. "Yes, (L/N)-san. I'll take you back to your place tomorrow," Yusuf replied, smiling as he opened the door, allowing us to leave the car and enter the house. I nod to him in gratitude.

"Have a pleasant night, Yusuf sahib," she replies, grinning as we enter the house. Okay, I can't believe she's with me. I've got to treat her right. I've got to... Suddenly she breaks my train of thought and asks me, "Um, Tetsu, what about my.." I grin and reply, "Change of clothes? Don't worry. Have bought you some nightwear for tonight and some casual wear for tomorrow. I've got you." Although I was going to give them to her on her birthday, I'm pleased I can give those clothes to her now.

"Okay then." She reacts, unzipping her gorgeous boots at the entrance. "In that case, I'm going to go for a shower. My whole body is exhausted. I'll leave the door open for you," she winks at me as she gives me an invitation, and heads on to my restroom. I know it's going to be a long night.

Your POV

Does this seem rushed? Guess it does. There have been days where I've been thinking of Tetsu. I want to touch him the way I explored him during the flight. Then again, I'd like something more than what I'm feeling, something real. Still, I can't imagine this handsome guy would ever be interested in me. What's more, is that he's kind to everyone. He's passionate about volleyball in a way that he can impart his knowledge to others. He pays attention to every detail and has got his ammunition ready on his tongue through his sass and sarcasm. I'm sure that he's the kind to stand up for the things he likes. But I wonder, would he consider me special?

I notice the Echo Dot in his restroom and ask it to play "Leave the Door Open" on a loop. Also, I unzip my jeans and shirt, peel everything off, including my panty, unhook my brassiere and turn on the shower. I also leave the restroom door open so that he can enter. That way, we can save the environment. As I enter the shower, the warm water splashes on my face, through my hair, down my body, as I feel every inch of myself. When I come to my waist, I hold it, only to feel disappointment creep into me.

Why am I unable to lose weight? I'm not overweight, but the body proportion doesn't look right either. Screw you, hormones. I take the loofah, apply the shower gel, lather it, and start scrubbing myself. I take my time applying the lather, and as I'm about to lather my back, I feel another pair of hands taking the loofah from me to scrub my back. Oh great, another part of my body that I don't like. These weird spots on my back, I've got to take care of them, I've got to...

"(N/N)..." a sweet voice almost in a sing-song mode, breaks the train of my thought, only to find Tetsu holding me by my waist. He pulls me towards him, only to nibble at my earlobe. I let out a soft moan in response. "Kitty cat," he puts his other hand playing with my waist, through the folds of my crotch, finds the clit, and starts flicking it, making my moans a little louder. "Someone needs to feel special tonight." My eyes roll back in my head. I end up seeing his hazel eyes and a small smirk on his face. "And I believe that someone," he then kneads my clit further, still holding my waist, making me arch my back, my derriere touching his hardening member and the moans become louder, that's when he whispers, "is you, darling."

I lose control of my body as he inserts his middle finger into me, making me moan so loud that it's like music to his ears. In the meantime, as he keeps thrusting his finger in me, I use both my hands to traverse his hair and start ruffling it, and I hear a small moan from him. As if he felt nothing, he whispers in my ear again to tell me, "Oh baby, someone has got to show you how you should be loved," at that moment he inserts another finger in me, thrusting both of them until he finds the good spots. All of me trembles and feels putty in his hands, and that's when he whispers, "the right way." I reach my first high of the night as I release my orgasm on his fingers, and then turn around to find him licking his fingers, and he then says with a smirk, "that someone better be me."

All inhibition that existed before that moment seemed to have disappeared as my right-hand cups his cheek, brings his face forward, and locks his lips with mine. Screw all those thoughts about how I feel about the way I look. Tonight's about him, about me, about us. Then his hands cup my cheeks as he slowly asserts his dominance and lets his tongue play with mine while my hands feel his abs and only one word comes into my mind: perfection. We then shampoo, lather, and massage each other's hair, and we wash our hair. Tetsu and I kiss again. This time he picks me up by my butt, wraps my legs around his waist, and slowly uses his hardened length to enter me. The moment his tip enters, I stop kissing as I tilt my head backward, moaning, and then he fully immerses himself in me.

Kuroo's POV

She hugs me as I finally enter her. I start off slow. It's been a while, so I notice her whimpering in pain, and I stop to ask her, "(N/N), are you doing okay?" "Tetsu, in my years of being loved, this tops it all. You can go faster. I'll take it. Please don't stop." This tops it all.

(Y/N), you do not realize how overjoyed and heavily turned on this makes me. I go a little faster and deeper. I push her into the wall, only to thrust myself harder into her inner walls. As she holds on to a horizontal bar on the wall for support, I decide to whisper with every thrust, "(Y/N), when I first heard your voice, saw you at the airport, kissed your lips, slept with you in-flight. When I played beach volleyball with you, every moment I spent with you had had its effect on me. Every moment got me to slowly fall for you," the moment slowly becoming real as I look into her eyes as she moans louder and louder, our voices and the skin slaps reverberating through the walls. I could tell she didn't expect that. I continue to whisper saying, "It may be too soon. But, you need to know, (Y/N) (L/N), that you are the most beautiful person I've ever known. Period," causing her to continuously moan. Gosh, her moans are as melodious as her actual voice.

"Come for me, Tetsu. Please. Release everything in me. I want all of it. All of you." She's pleading. Oh god, I want her. I want to cum inside her so badly. "Come for me, baby," I plead with her. And she reached her second high of the night, and I complied, releasing myself in her. Our movements become sloppy. We pant, but we surely knew that we weren't done yet. While she still wrapped her legs around my waist, she took a towel and wiped our hair dry. Putting it back where it belongs, she kisses me yet again. Her kisses are as smooth as silk. I brought her out of the restroom onto the bed, where she didn't realize that there was a towel spread open for us. She uses her elbows as support to prop herself up and she holds my face, kissing me.

I could see the beautiful moon shining through the window as if the universe was seeing us be one. I slowly become nervous, as flashes of my memories with my ex creep into my mind, and I pull back from (Y/N). We were on our knees, on the spread towel, but the light in my eyes was slowly fading away.

God, what was I thinking, trying to move on? It still hurts, even after all this time. I remember the times people mocked me for being a huge introverted nerd, that I wanted to get back at them, and that's when I found volleyball. Through volleyball, I even got to meet my ex. But she claimed I committed myself to volleyball too much to give her any time, and that's why she cheated on me. I can't choose between two different things I love; goodness me, what if (Y/N) asks to do the same thing? What if she cheats on me? What should I do? I.....

"Tetsu," she calls out to me in a sing-song voice, with her hand on my cheek. What's she doing? Wait, was she wiping my tears? When did I start crying? "I know that there's something that's bothering you, so I want you to take your time. But right now, you need to be reassured about something. Your heart seems to have been broken before." Could she read my mind? "So has mine, but if we were to take it slow, I guess we'd be ready to handle it all together, wouldn't we?" She speaks with a soft smile. I put my hands on her, and smiled back at her, my eyes still full of sadness. Realizing this, she comes forward to kiss my eyes and then says, "let me show you how I'd never leave you."

Your POV

I made Tetsu lie down on the bed and I straddled him. First, I kiss him on his lips, then I drag them to kiss along the jawline and the neck, only to find his sensitive spot and suck on it slowly. His quiet moans make me feel so excited. To know that I am the one pleasuring him, not any other girl, gave me this confidence I never knew I needed. My lips, then traverse down to his cleavage where I kiss him all over, then I go down to his abs, kissing every one of them and telling him, "Tetsurō Kuroo, you have no idea how perfect you are for me."

Then, I come down to his hardened length. Flashbacks of my haunting past come back, but then I quickly shirk them off. I meant it when I said that nothing will come between us tonight. I then lick the head, my eyes looking at him for a reaction, and not to my surprise, he's enjoying it. I slowly suck it like a lollipop, taking it all in, kissing it all over, pleasuring him in every way possible, at the same time playing with myself to lubricate.

Then I climb on top of him and let his length slip through my opening with ease, my eyes still fixated on him while I moan out his name. I then straddle him, riding him slowly and earnestly, asking him to hold me as I pleasure him, and then I lay on top of him, whispering, "Baby, let me show you how much I want you. I want you enough to not think of leaving you." Continuing to kiss his neck, I thrust myself onto him, slowly, deeply, then quickly and I kept checking upon him. The look on his face when he's moaning gives me enough assurance that I'm doing it right.

"I'm coming now, baby," he replies after a couple of thrusts. "Me too, Tetsu. Come for me, baby," I replied, still looking into his eyes, which were now gleaming by the presence of the moonlight. Moments later, I reach the final high of the night, as we both cum again, after which, I bend forward to kiss his lips. How he is so perfect is beyond my understanding.

© Aisha 2022

Welcome to my NSFW Blog! You can call me Shyna or Aisha, anything's fine. As always, minors, please DNI, and likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated. But, no reposting. Have a good weekend. <33

[youssefguedira]

<3<3<3 the joenicky diabolik au, hope you continue it!

thank you anon! glad you're enjoying it! and just for you, here is the next part (set after both previous ones), which is really just setting up some plot things, but enjoy anyway! (no nicky today, but he'll be back next time!) (tagging @eya-trying-to-function too)

other parts in the series:

[a prologue, of sorts] [part one] [part two] [you are here]

Despite the events of the night before, everything is still going to plan. If Di Genova is telling the truth - and Yusuf thinks he is, even if he has no real reason to - the paintings will be back where they belong, ready for the deal with Merrick. Then Yusuf will be able to leave Milan having completed what he came here to do, and he'll have an interesting story to tell Booker when he does.

This is what Yusuf is thinking about while he's at dinner that night, how he's going to describe the details of his meeting with Di Genova to Booker, and why he doesn't notice the man approaching his table immediately.

He'd wondered briefly when he sat down whether Di Genova was here, in the restaurant, but quickly shaken it away - he has a job to do, and he won't be distracted from it. The man who stands before him now, however, is definitely not the thief.

"Yusuf al-Kaysani?" the man says, in a way that sounds more like a demand than a question.

"Yes?" Joe answers, keeping his voice as polite as possible while also moving his hand slowly towards the knife on the table - it won't do much damage, but it'll be better than nothing if it comes to that. The man's eyes track the movement, and he smiles unkindly.

"Mr. Merrick requests your company," he says, nodding over to a table near the back of the restaurant, where sure enough, Merrick is watching them. Joe curses internally.

"The meeting wasn't scheduled until the day after tomorrow," he says, careful to sound more annoyed than worried. "If Mr. Merrick has a problem-"

"He is well aware of when the meeting was scheduled for," the man interrupts. "This is a different matter. He would like to speak with you now."

Joe glances around the restaurant. There aren't many others here at this time in the evening, and Joe wonders how many of them are in Merrick's pocket. The man takes a step closer, his hand drifting to his waist, where Joe can clearly see a knife hilt. He gets the message.

"Of course," Joe says, as politely as he can manage, and stands.

He follows the man over to Merrick, who smiles, though it doesn't seem at all genuine. "Mr. al-Kaysani. A pleasure."

Joe forces himself to smile back, even as he tries to work out what this is even about. "Mr. Merrick. This is earlier than I expected to meet. The paintings have not yet arrived, so if that is what you want to discuss, you will have to wait," he lies.

"No, I just have a few questions for you," Merrick says. He holds his hand out to the man who still hasn't moved from their table, effectively keeping Joe trapped, who passes him a file marked AK. Merrick flips open and pulls out a black-and-white photograph. He slides it across the table to Joe. "Is this not you, two weeks ago, meeting with the forger Sebastien le Livre?"

Joe looks down at the photograph, his heart already sinking. It's unmistakably him in the photograph, laughing at something Booker says. Behind him is a large package, the right size to be Merrick's paintings. Joe keeps his expression carefully neutral.

"Where did you get this?" he asks.

Merrick shrugs. "I have my sources." He slides over another photograph, and another. "Do these look familiar?"

They're both him - both with billionaires he'd sold to and who had had their unethical business practices exposed less than a month later. He'd been careful, he's always careful, but evidently it hadn't been enough. "What are you trying to imply, Mr. Merrick?" he asks.

Merrick smiles again, nastily. "I believe that the paintings you are planning to sell me are fake, and that you are going to use the deal as a front to find information that you will use to attempt to undermine me, is that correct?"

"You imply that there will be something to find," Joe responds.

Merrick ignores him and places the full file on the table. "I have evidence here of you breaking and entering multiple times, selling forgeries, and your… less than respectable past. I will, however, make you a deal: if you bring me the paintings, the real ones, in four days, then you can have this information and I will leave you alone. If you do not, I will release this information to law enforcement and the public. Is that clear?"

Joe stares him down. Merrick doesn't flinch.

"Do we have a deal, Mr. al-Kaysani?"

The man standing by their table moves closer threateningly. Joe's trapped.

"It seems we do," he says. Never mind that he doesn't know how he's going to manage getting the real paintings - which are held under high security - in four days.

"Good," Merrick says. "Keep the photos. As a reminder." He stands, then, snapping his file shut and nodding to the other man. "See you in four days."

With that, he leaves. Joe waits until he's out of sight, then gets up himself and leaves the restaurant.

He can't get word to Booker in time, or any of his other contacts. He'll have to figure this out on his own. He's on his way back to his hotel room when an idea begins to form, one that is quite possibly insane and has only a slim chance of working, but is the only real option he has.

He's going to need to find a way to contact the thief.

[theadventuresofamuslimrevert]

Losing a loved one is one of the major trials of life many of us will encounter. Grief from that loss is a natural reaction that takes a different trajectory for different people. Some people describe grief as a dark fog that is difficult to shake, others speak of the suffocating regret and anxiety that often accompany those feelings, still others speak about grief as waves that rise up and subside at different points.

“And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient, Who, when disaster strikes them, say, “Indeed we belong to Allah , and indeed to Him we will return.” Those are the ones upon whom are blessings from their Lord and mercy. And it is those who are the guided.” [Quran; 2:155-157]

Sometimes people are expect to follow a particular timeline of grief, but the reality is that the journey of grief is different for everyone. Counsellors and bereavement supporters often speak about the five stages of grief that were popularized in the famous book On Death and Dying by psychiatrist Elizabeth Kubler-Ross namely: denial (as you begin to come to terms with the reality of the situation, denial begins to fade and difficult feelings may begin to surface), anger/anxiety (anger is the body’s natural reaction to threat and, oftentimes, there is no greater threat than the loss of someone you love or the loss of the way you envisioned life would be. Anger can also feel powerful during times when we feel powerless. You may experience nervousness, heart palpitations, restlessness, irritability, and/or difficulty breathing), bargaining (this stage often includes “If only…” statements due to the feelings of regret that come up with loss. This stage is characterized by an overwhelming desire for life to return to the way it was), depression (you might feel down and cry more often than you usually do. It may also feel like you have less motivation and find less enjoyment in activities you used to love. This stage can feel as though it’ll stretch on forever) and acceptance (it involves accepting the reality that this person is physically gone and that this new reality is the permanent reality. Acceptance does not mean that you’re “ok” with what happened. The loss of someone you love will likely never feel ok. The goal in this stage is to learn how to live with this loss and create a new normal despite the huge piece that is missing). However, recent research and understanding has concluded that grief can be an individualized and unpredictable experience and no two people’s experiences will be the same.

Let us look at some advice in the Quran and Sunnah to help us cope with grief and the loss of a loved one:

Shed tears as much as you want, but don’t let the tongue say what may displease Allah

Our Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) experienced grief at many points of his life, often at the loss of loved ones. During these experiences he taught us that grief is a natural emotion and that Allah does not hold us accountable for expressing sadness and pain in a permissible manner. Sadness does not negate the acceptance of Allah’s decree which is the very center of a believer’s journey in grief.

Narrated Anas bin Malik: We went with Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) (p.b.u.h) to the blacksmith Abu Saif, and he was the husband of the wet-nurse of Ibrahim (the son of the Prophet). Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) took Ibrahim and kissed him and smelled him and later we entered Abu Saif’s house and at that time Ibrahim was in his last breaths, and the eyes of Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) (p.b.u.h) started shedding tears. `Abdur Rahman bin `Auf said, “O Allah’s Apostle, even you are weeping!” He said, “O Ibn `Auf, this is mercy.” Then he wept more and said, “The eyes are shedding tears and the heart is grieved, and we will not say except what pleases our Lord, O Ibrahim ! Indeed we are grieved by your separation.” [Hadith; Sahih al-Bukhari 1303]

We see the intensity of these emotions in the Prophet Yaʿqub عليه السلام when he was separated from his son Yusuf عليه السلام and he grieved so deeply that his eyes turned white (it’s said that he lost his sight) due to the extent to which he cried. His intense grief is expressed in the Qur’an (after all those years of losing his son) yet he was called to have beautiful patience (sabrun jameel):

And he turned away from them and said, “Oh, my sorrow over Joseph,” and his eyes became white from grief, for he was a suppressor. [Quran; 12:84]

Accept that all of us belong to Allah and all of us will return to Him

As we see from the hadith above where the Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) was coping with grief, patience in Islam does not mean that we do not cry and that we do not express our emotions. What is forbidden is wailing and slapping one’s cheeks which was the culture at that time (the Arabs – women in particular – used to scream and wail during funerals or at someone’s death). As the Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) said the eyes shed tears and the heart is grieved but the tongue only says what is acceptable to Allah.

Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said, “The example of a believer is that of a fresh tender plant; from whatever direction the wind comes, it bends it, but when the wind becomes quiet, it becomes straight again. Similarly, a believer is afflicted with calamities (but he remains patient till Allah removes his difficulties.) And an impious wicked person is like a pine tree which keeps hard and straight till Allah cuts (breaks) it down when He wishes.” [Hadith; Sahih al-Bukhari 5644]

Make dua for yourself

As human beings, we attempt to cope with negative emotions in different ways. We often attempt to push away difficult emotions because they make us feel uncomfortable as it’s a painful process to sit with these feelings. We may try to distract ourselves or put on a fake smile. Some may even self-medicate through the use of drugs or alcohol to alleviate the pain they are feeling. When we are unable to grieve fully and an experience becomes a source of trauma, we are thrust into survival mode, which shuts down the executive functioning part of our brain and prevents us from thinking clearly. This is why we may react to situations in unhealthy ways or do things during times of stress that we would not have done during times of ease. This is one reason why some people struggle to worship Allah during times of extreme stress. When the “danger activation center” part of our brain is dominant, there is a decrease in self-awareness, our capacity to self-evaluate, and our ability to establish goals. All of these require advanced thought processes, which are very difficult to sustain during times of extreme stress. In order for any activity to help, our brain needs to register it. Research has shown an association between prayer and the ability to re-engage the “thinking” part of our brains.

Umm Salama, the wife of the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ), reported Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) as saying:If any servant (of Allah) who suffers a calamity says:” We belong to Allah and to Him shall we return; O Allah, reward me for my affliction and give me something better than it in exchange for it,” ‘ Allah will give him reward for affliction, and would give him something better than it in exchange. She (Umm Salama) said: When Abu Salama died. I uttered (these very words) as I was commanded (to do) by the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ). So Allah gave me better in exchange than him. i. e. (I was taken as the wife of) the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ). [Hadith; Sahih Muslim 918 b]

When I lost my baby son Hamza, I remember one of my close friends messaged me this dua and reminded me to keep reciting it. I had not really known that dua at that time but I am so grateful for friends who guided me to the right words to say at such a confusing and overwhelming time when I almost lost my faith as a revert.

Stay among people who love you and would support you through this difficult journey

It is quite common to be engulfed by grief with the death of a loved one. However, one must not dwell in it much heaven knows i did but i soon realised this sends an invitation to Shaytan to become your company. Let the death of a loved be a lesson of detaching from Dunya and to hold Allah (glorified and exalted be he) in your heart above all others.

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) visited Sa’d bin ‘Ubadah during his illness. He was accompanied by ‘Abdur-Rahman bin ‘Auf, Sa’d bin Abu Waqqas and ‘Abdullah bin Mas’ud (May Allah be pleased with them). The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) began to weep. When his Companions saw this, their tears also started flowing. He (ﷺ) said, “Do you not hear, Allah does not punish for the shedding of tears or the grief of the heart, but punishes or bestows mercy for the utterances of this (and he pointed to his tongue).” [Hadith; Riyad as-Salihin 925]

Remember that your patience is being rewarded more than you can imagine

These are words you should say even when you feel sad at the memory of a loss you faced in the past or when you miss your loved one or the life you had planned with them.

Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said, “Allah says, ‘I have nothing to give but Paradise as a reward to my believer slave, who, if I cause his dear friend (or relative) to die, remains patient (and hopes for Allah’s Reward). [Hadith; Sahih al-Bukhari 6424]

Stay away from questioning Qadr of Allah (asking: why me? or if only!)

Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: ‘A slave (of Allah) shall not believe until he believes in Al-Qadar, its good and its bad, such that he knows that what struck him would not have missed him, and that what missed him would not have struck him.” [Hadith; Tirmidhi 2144]

Often one of the ways, Shaitan attacks us at times of calamity or a loss is to overwhelm us with questions of what if and why me? How did this happen? Would it have been prevented if I had just done this or that or gone to the hospital earlier or taken this or that medical intervention?? I blamed myself for my sons death so much over the last year (he passed away 25/07/2020) but after reading the following in last few weeks I've become to realise there was nothing I could do to prevent it as it was Allah's will.

“The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: ‘The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, although both are good. Strive for that which will benefit you, seek the help of Allah, and do not feel helpless. If anything befalls you, do not say, “if only I had done such and such” rather say “Qaddara Allahu wa ma sha’a fa’ala (Allah has decreed and whatever he wills, He does).” For (saying) ‘If’ opens (the door) to the deeds of Satan.'” [Hadith; Ibn Majah 79]

These are some of the words my midwife told me to say when I heard the news of my baby passing away in my womb after 25weeks of pregnancy I am forever grateful to her for reminding me this at that trying time. Reminding ourselves we all have a path and a time to meet Allah and it is not the time be battling with the what if questions you are bombarded yourself with. I am grateful to Allah (swt) for giving me people in my life who were able to remind me of the right words to say and the right approach at such a difficult time. Remind yourself: whatever happened was decreed by Allah and nothing you or someone else did or did not do could have changed it. Focusing on the factors within your control, rather than on regrets and a desire to return to the less painful past, can help you to get through this stage.

But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not. [Quran; 2:216]

Turning back to our deen and our belief in Qadr is what helped us accept the death as something Allah had decreed at this exact time and this exact situation and there is nothing we could have done to have changed that. Changing the past is not feasible so channeling our energy into something unchangeable is a recipe for intense pain. Instead of “What if…” Focus on “What is…”: The one thing we consistently have within our control is what we choose to do with the present moment. Shifting our focus away from regrets of the past and worries about the future allows us to take advantage of the present moment. Allah (swt) talks about this attitude of remorse in the Quran:

O you who have believed, do not be like those who disbelieved and said about their brothers when they traveled through the land or went out to fight, “If they had been with us, they would not have died or have been killed,” so Allah makes that a regret within their hearts. And it is Allah who gives life and causes death, and Allah is Seeing of what you do. [Quran; 3:156]

Instead, turn to Allah and open your heart to Him

Death can serve as a reminder to those left behind about the temporariness of this life and the importance of working for our next lives. It forces us to reflect on what is meaningful and what is important. Turn to Allah and pour your heart out to Him, talk to Him about your pain, cry out to Him and ask Him to calm your heart and heal your pain. Ask Him to reunite you with your loved one in Jannah. Ask Him to give you strength and peace. When Prophet Yaqub (عَلَيْهِ السَّلَام) cried so much that he lost his eyesight after all those years of losing his son, his elder sons said:

They said, “By Allah , you will not cease remembering Joseph until you become fatally ill or become of those who perish.” He said, “I only complain of my suffering and my grief to Allah , and I know from Allah that which you do not know. O my sons, go and find out about Joseph and his brother and despair not of relief from Allah . Indeed, no one despairs of relief from Allah except the disbelieving people.” [Quran: 12:85-87]

Turn to Allah in sincere dua. No one else can heal your pain and give peace to your heart.

اللَّهُمَّ مُصَرِّفَ الْقُلُوبِ صَرِّفْ قُلُوبَنَا عَلَى طَاعَتِكَ

Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said: “Verily, the hearts of all the sons of Adam are between the two fingers out of the fingers of the Compassionate Lord as one heart. He turns that to any (direction) He likes. Then Allahs Messenger (ﷺ) said: 0 Allah, the Turner of the hearts, turn our hearts to Thine obedience.” [Hadith; Sahih Muslim 265]

Journal to face and deal with your emotions so you don’t become hopeless

Writing to process your feelings is another helpful technique to help deal with your emotions and your grief ive found this out this week from advice from a sister who lost her father recently. She said that Writing out your thoughts and confusions will help sort them out, journals about your feelings from day to day, use gratitude journalings to focus on the blessings even at such difficult times, write letters to your loved one as if you are talking to them. All of this helps deal with the emotions and grief just as talking or counselling does as well.

“And that to your Lord is the finality. And that it is He who makes laugh and weep.” [Quran; 53:42-43]

Find meaning / gratitude in your life again and create the required changes

Grief expert, David Kessler says, “meaning comes through finding a way to sustain your love for the person after their death while you’re moving forward with your life. Loss is simply what happens to you in life. Meaning is what you make happen.”

It was narrated that Ibn ‘Abbas said: “When a young daughter of the Messenger of Allah was dying, the Messenger of Allah picked her up and held her to his chest, then he put his hand on her, and she died in front of the Messenger of Allah. Umm Ayman wept and the Messenger of Allah said ‘Oh Umm Ayman, do you weep while the Messenger of Allah is with you?’ She said: ‘Why shouldn’t I weep when the Messenger of Allah is weeping.” So the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said “Verily, I am not weeping. Rather it is compassion.’ Then the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: ‘The believer is fine whatever the situation; even when his soul is being pulled from his body and he praises Allah, the Mighty and Sublime”‘ [Hadith; Sunan an-Nasa’i 1843]

Finding meaning cannot erase your grief; pain is a natural reaction to intense loss. However, it can help you move forward. The loss of someone or something dear to you can often lead to reevaluating your priorities in life. Allowing this loss to push you toward positive changes in your life is one of the most profound ways of creating meaning. Gratitude is one of the qualities of a believer. Gratitude is tied closely to the concept of patience. The Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) said:

Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said: Strange are the ways of a believer for there is good in every affair of his and this is not the case with anyone else except in the case of a believer for if he has an occasion to feel delight, he thanks (God), thus there is a good for him in it, and if he gets into trouble and shows resignation (and endures it patiently), there is a good for him in it. [Hadith; Sahih Muslim 2999]

Gratitude is also an attitude during adversity. Although difficult to see, there are always blessings that accompany a difficult time. Look for the blessings and ease that Allah has brought with this difficulty. May be things were easier than they could have been, may be there were eases in other areas of your life, may be this test drew you closer to Allah (swt), may be it allowed you to reflect on the reality of your life and allowed you to give more in charity, may be it became a means of wiping away your sins and earning you reward.

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, “When a man’s child dies, Allah, the Exalted, asks His angels, ‘Have you taken out the life of the child of My slave?’ and they reply in the affirmative. He (SWT) then asks, ‘Have you taken the fruit of his heart?’ and they reply in the affirmative. Thereupon He asks, ‘What did my slave say?’ They say: ‘He praised You and said: Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji’un (We belong to Allah and to Him we shall return).’ Allah says: ‘Build a house for my slave in Jannah and name it Baitul-Hamd (the House of Praise).”‘ [Hadith; Riyad as-Salihin 922]

Know that sadness doesn’t last forever even if the memories do

“For indeed, with hardship ease. Indeed, with hardship ease.” [Quran; 94:6]

Remember this promise of Allah. Remember that every moment of sadness and pain, no matter how overwhelming, is a part of the process of healing. Instead of focusing on the stretch of days ahead of you with this loss feeling like a looming storm cloud over your future, focus on the one step you can take today to get through the day. When experiencing feelings of depression, putting one foot in front of the other can make a huge difference. Get adequate sleep and eat healthy. Your body and well-being are an amānah from Allah that you need to take care of. Find time to decompress, however that might work for you. For some people this may include praying, making dua, reading, art, working out, or engaging in a hobby.

It was narrated that Ibn ‘Umar said: “I was with the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) and a man from among the Ansar came to him and greeted the Prophet (ﷺ) with Salam. Then he said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, which of the believers is best?’ He said: ‘He who has the best manners among them.’ He said: ‘Which of them is wisest?’ He said: ‘The one who remembers death the most and is best in preparing for it. Those are the wisest.’” [Hadith; Ibn Majah 160]

Go through happy memories you experienced with them and remember your loved one in good words

Narrated Abu Al-Aswad: I came to Medina when an epidemic had broken out. While I was sitting with `Umar bin Al-Khattab a funeral procession passed by and the people praised the deceased. `Umar said, “It has been affirmed to him.” And another funeral procession passed by and the people praised the deceased. `Umar said, “It has been affirmed to him.” A third (funeral procession) passed by and the people spoke badly of the deceased. He said, “It has been affirmed to him.” I (Abu Al-Aswad) asked, “O chief of the believers! What has been affirmed?” He replied, “I said the same as the Prophet (ﷺ) had said, that is: if four persons testify the piety of a Muslim, Allah will grant him Paradise.” We asked, “If three persons testify his piety?” He (the Prophet) replied, “Even three.” Then we asked, “If two?” He replied, “Even two.” [Hadith; Sahih al-Bukhari 1368]

Remembering the happy times you had with your deceased loved ones can be a bittersweet experience. Many will talk about how this can have a healing effect, others mention how it rekindles the pain in their heart. Sometimes different reactions may also depend on where you are on your grief journey. Remembering the good times you had with your loved one can help you in dealing with the grief and with slowly learning to remember them without always feeling the pain of separation. Reminding yourself that you still have hope of reuniting with them in the hereafter is another way to help you process the pain you are feeling.

It was narrated that ‘Aishah said: “Something bad was said in the presence of the Prophet about a person who had died. He said: ‘Do not say anything but good about your dead.”‘ [Hadith; Sunan an-Nasa’i 1935]

Make dua for your loved one and give charity on their behalf

Messenger of Allah(ﷺ) said: “A man will be raised in status in Paradise and will say: ‘Where did this come from?’ And it will be said: ‘From your son’s praying for forgiveness for you.'” [Hadith; Sunan Ibn Majah 3660]

Channel your grief in a productive way and think about what you can do for your loved one now. One of the ways we can benefit our deceased loved ones is by making sincere dua for them. We can also benefit our deceased loved ones by giving charity on their behalf.

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, “When a man dies, his deeds come to an end except for three things: Sadaqah Jariyah (ceaseless charity); a knowledge which is beneficial, or a virtuous descendant who prays for him (for the deceased).” [Hadith; Riyad as-Salihin 1383]

Seek help and support others

Seek social support, go to counselling and therapy, talk to friends about how you feel. Attend a bereavement group if you can so you can see how others in your situation are coping. Check Children of Jannah or Eternal Gardens for bereavement support. One major indicator that someone needs professional help is if they demonstrate an impaired ability to function in their day-to-day life with their family, at work, socially, emotionally, and sometimes spiritually. Again, this doesn’t mean that the person is mentally ill, but that they would likely benefit from talking to someone with expertise in the field of mental health.

Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said, “A Muslim is a brother of another Muslim, so he should not oppress him, nor should he hand him over to an oppressor. Whoever fulfilled the needs of his brother, Allah will fulfill his needs; whoever brought his (Muslim) brother out of a discomfort, Allah will bring him out of the discomforts of the Day of Resurrection, and whoever screened a Muslim, Allah will screen him on the Day of Resurrection.” [Hadith; Sahih al-Bukhari 2442]

The aim of ta’ziyah is to strengthen the broken-hearted and give them hope at a time when their hope may be waning; it is to lighten the load of the bereaved. After the intense sadness of losing someone you care for deeply, you have the unique ability to empathize with the struggles others face in similar circumstances. Here are some things you can do for grieving families: Spend time with them without imposing yourself as a guest and expecting them to host you with food and drink. Offer to help by buying groceries, doing household chores, or watching their children.

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: Prepare food for the family of Ja’far for there came upon them an incident which has engaged them. [Hadith; Sunan Abi Dawud 3132]

Do what helps you through your journey of grief. Remember no two journeys are the same, so listen to your heart and give it what it needs. Sometimes you may need time to be alone, sometimes you may need to be around others you love. Sometimes you may need to talk about them, sometimes you may just need to sit quietly with your own thoughts. May Allah heal your pain, calm your heart and reunite you with your loved one in the hereafter.

I hope this helps who ever needs it see this right now...

Rest in peace my beautiful son Hamza until we meet again in jannah 🤲🤲

[monicashipsnickyjoe]

(part 6 (final!) of my advertising agency office au - see masterpost)

The clock on the living room wall reads midnight. The television, muted, begins the same infomercial for the third time. It’s a rotisserie oven but also an air fryer. If you call now, you get a free oven mitt.

Sitting on the sofa, Nicky glances at the closed bedroom door. He stifles a yawn.

He wants more than anything to go into the bedroom, crawl into bed beside Joe, and fall asleep, but Joe has been so out of it since they left work. He is in no position to consent to sharing a bed.

Instead, Nicky pulls the afghan off the back of the couch and tries to make himself comfortable on the too-short cushions. At twenty, this position would have been no problem, and he’d wake refreshed regardless. At thirty-five, with his knees bent at such an odd angle, he knows he’s in for hell and bengay in the morning. Still, thinking of Joe, safe and warm, tucked away in Nicky’s bed, gives Nicky the foolish, happy hope that everything will be fine.

Maybe that’s an effect of love, he thinks, and closes his eyes.

They snap open again when a hand touches his shoulder. The infomercial continues. The air-fryer is also a barbecue, somehow. The blue television light gleams a harsh outline around a head of curls that’s slowly coming into focus.

“Joe?”

“Nicky.” Joe’s voice is sleep rough and beautiful. Even in the dark, the eyes radiate concern. “What are you doing out here?”

Nicky blinks. “Sleeping?”

Joe looks at him, searching for something Nicky’s unsure of. Then he frowns. “I can leave...?”

“What?” Nicky snaps upright. His knees ache, but he ignores the pain to twist on the couch and reach for Joe. His hands find his biceps and the muscles underneath that Nicky’s favorite sleep-shirt struggles to contain. Nicky looks down, at the t-shirt - at Joe in his t-shirt, kneeling on the floor, in the dark. Any coherent thought becomes dust blowing away under the breeze of the ceiling fan.

“Or not,” Joe says, still watching him. He places a hand on Nicky’s side, just above his hip. All of Nicky’s nerves zero in on that touch, on the press of each finger, the line of Joe’s thumb against Nicky’s bottom rib.

“Stay,” Nicky manages to say, or he hopes he does. He can’t tell anymore because Joe is leaning toward him and what else matters but that?

“Why are you out here, Nicky?” Joe says, each word a puff of warm breath against Nicky’s cheek, his lips. Close, so close.

“You were asleep.”

Joe smiles, and Nicky knows for certain that his heart is no longer his own.

“I’m not sleeping now,” Joe says.

“This could be a dream.” Though the dull throb in Nicky’s cramp knee tells otherwise.

“No,” Joe says. With his other hand, he cups Nicky’s face, palm against his cheek, thumb lining his cheekbone, fingertips brushing against his ear. “You are so much more than anything I could dare dream.”

“Joe.” Nicky claws at that old t-shirt, pulling Joe closer.

“I want to kiss you, Nicky. May I?”

“Per favore.”

Joe coaxes Nicky forward and Nicky tugs Joe. Lips find lips in the dark, and suddenly, finally, they are kissing. Passion strikes hot, an electric zap through Nicky’s body that has him surging forward. Nicky wraps his arms around Joe’s shoulders, his neck. His hands bury into those curls. They are soft and wild, everything Joe, everything Nicky imagined.

Joe tilts his head, deepening their kiss. He licks his way into Nicky’s mouth. His arms wrap around Nicky’s waist, holding him close. One hand splays flat at the small of Nicky’s back. The other traces feather-light patterns up and down Nicky’s spine.

“Joe,” Nicky breathes, when they break for air. “Yusuf.”

Joe’s chest heaves as much as Nicky’s own. His eyes are dark and his lips kiss-swollen. He makes a noise very near a growl as he plunges in for more.

The next breath, Joe offers, “Nicolò,” and this time, it’s Nicky who growls. He pushes further into Joe and they tumble back onto the floor. Nicky’s on top of Joe now, and the new angle is perfect. And they can move.

Joe’s not wearing pants and Nicky has too many clothes. Joe’s tugging at his shirt, but it’s useless. They would have to break apart to undress, and Nicky would rather shoot himself into the moon than separate from Joe for that long.

Never in his life has he felt like this, not even as a horny teenage pawing at his first boyfriend in the backseat of a car. Nicky wants, but not just to get himself off, like his teenage self. He wants to feel Joe tremble, to hear him moan - to give him the kind of pleasure and happiness and comfort and love that a man so wonderful deserves. He wants to be his best self. He wants to be everything Joe needs.

He wants.

“Nicolò,” Joe pants, again and again, when their lips are parted enough for him to do so. Nicky drops kiss after kiss down the side of his neck. “Oh, Nicolò.” He grips at Nicky’s shirt, it’s bunched under Nicky’s arms now, and begs, “Be mine. Please be mine.”

Nicky stills in his onslaught and lifts his head.

Joe’s eyes are hooded. His lips, red and parted. He looks ravished and perfect and lovely. How can he not understand?

“I’m already yours, Yusuf,” Nicky says. “I’ve been yours since I first heard you laugh at the water cooler. I just didn’t know it then.”

Something in Joe’s face shifts - still lost to lust, but softening. The urgency in his hands slows. He moves deliberately now, cupping Nicky’s face and bringing him down for a gentle kiss.

“I will be kind with your heart,” Joe tells him.

Nicky twists his face as much as Joe’s hold will allow. He glances down, away, embarrassed. “I know.”

“And I will beg you to be kind with mine.”

Nicky’s gaze snaps back to Joe’s growing smile.

“You have owned my heart since the moment I saw you, Nicolò.”

Nicky’s breath abandons him. His heart races, thumping so loud and hard, Nicky’s sure it will jump straight from his chest and into Joe’s, where it belongs.

The floor isn’t enough. Not for the power of their love. Not for their first time together.

Nicky still wants, but now he wants Joe in comfort on a bed, as open and vulnerable and safe as Nicky feels. He pushes himself up to his knees.

“Come with me to the bedroom?” Nicky asks.

“Nicky,” Joe says, rising. “I would follow you anywhere.”

They leave the living room and the ceiling fan and the infomercials and a trail of clothes behind. Nicky closes the bedroom door and starts the rest of his life.

*

It’s Saturday. The sun beams in through Nicky’s thin curtains and beats on the foot of the bed. Nicky glances at the bedside table, at the clock that reads 7am. He won’t move more than that though. He won’t risk disrupting the sleeping man curled around him like an octopus.

A beard scratches Nicky’s chest. Curls tickle his chin.

He can’t wait for Joe to wake up, to hear his voice and see his eyes, but seeing him like this is a blessing too. He’s warm and relaxed. He talks no less asleep in a bed as he did in a chair, though this time Nicky knows with certainty that Joe means him when he mumbles, “You are everything, Nicky.”

Soon, Joe does wake. He lifts his head, blinking a few times. When his gaze falls on Nicky, his smile widens so big and bright, he puts the sun to shame.

“This is the best bed I’ve ever slept in,” he says. Before Nicky can argue - he bought this bed on extreme discount, and the springs are starting to poke through in some places - Joe continues, “It has you in it.”

Nicky laughs, and Joe does, too. Slowly, through lazy kisses, they untangle from each other and the sheets. When Joe’s stomach growls, Nicky pulls him toward the kitchen.

“Stay,” he says, and places Joe in a bar stool by the kitchen island.

“Happily.” Joe sets his elbow on the counter and his chin in his palm. He openly leers at Nicky, who perhaps should have put more on than a pair of boxers. He wants to take Joe back into the bedroom, but no. Joe is hungry, and Nicky will not have him starved.

Nicky retrieves the eggs from the fridge and a pan from the cabinet and sets to making scrambled eggs. He glances back often, catching the exact moment when Joe’s dark gaze shifts. A line forms between his brow instead.

“You don’t like scrambled eggs?” Nicky asks, lifting the pan away from the burner. He should have asked first.

“No, I do. It’s fine,” Joe says.

“Then why the face?”

“What face? This is my face.”

Nicky frowns at him until he relents.

“Okay, fine.” Joe sighs. “You win. I’m worried about...” Another sigh. “What are we, Nicky?”

Nicky frowns deeper. He thought they made it clear last night. Was Joe having second thoughts? Turning back to the eggs, he pushes them around the pan with a spatula.

“We don’t have to be anything,” he hears himself say. It’s breaks his own heart - he wants everything with Joe. But if he can’t have everything, he’d rather have something than nothing.

“We... don’t?”

“We could keep doing this,” Nicky says. “We don’t have to complicate it.” He wants to complicated it. He wants Joe, body, heart, and soul. He pushes the eggs.

“I see.”

“Whatever you want, Joe.”

“What I want?”

Joe isn’t saying anything. Nicky keeps making offers and Joe’s just repeating them. If he’s going to break Nicky’s heart, he’d rather he do it before breakfast. The coffee’s not even ready yet and -

Nicky takes the eggs off the burner. He places them down on a separate, cooler part of the stove and swivels. He has his mouth open, ready to beg Joe for something, anything. But then he sees his own look of absolute heartbreak mirrored on Joe’s face.

And he curses those eggs for distracting him.

“Or we could be more,” Nicky says.

Joe lifts a little, from where he’s curled into himself. “More?”

Nicky swallows. He’s afraid, so afraid, to let himself hope to have this, but it’s everything he wants. And after everything they’ve shared, surely there’s a chance that Joe wants it too.

So Nicky takes a breath and lays himself bare.

“I want to be with you, Joe. As your boyfriend. Your lover. Your partner. However you will have me. In every way you will have me.”

Joe stares at him a long moment, expression blank. Then he steps off the bar stool and comes around the island. His eyes are wet and bright and shining, and he’s looking at Nicky like he is personally responsible for all the good in the world and not just the few words spoken from the heart.

Joe wraps his arms around Nicky and kisses him, tenderly, a balm coating the wounds of misunderstanding.

“Boyfriends. Lovers. Partners. Everything,” Joe says, pressing their foreheads together.

“Everything,” Nicky says.

Their kisses now are gentle, kind - echoes of thousands of kisses to follow, each full of love and light and safety and comfort. And sometimes lust, too, as Nicky urges Joe’s lips to part enough for -

Joe’s stomach growls and Nicky jumps away like he burned him.

What a terrible host he is!

Joe reaches for him but Nicky shies away.

“You need to eat,” Nicky says and returns the eggs to the hot burner. Nicky half-turns only to point his spatula at the empty stool. “Sit.”

Joe, laughing, obeys. “Okay, okay.”

When the eggs are done, and Nicky is separating the portions onto two plates, Joe says, “We’ll have to talk to HR on Monday. Since we are together.”

Nicky freezes. Being with Joe, he had entirely forgotten about work and The Old Guard and Andy’s offer. “Joe,” he says and sets down the empty pan.

“Hm?”

Nicky takes the plates and turns. He places one in from of Joe. Compared to the bravery of the past day, talking to Joe about this should be easy, but Nicky is no less nervous when he says, “Have you ever thought of leaving Merrick’s?”

Joe snorts a laugh. “All the time!”

“What if...” Nicky hesitates, thinking of Joe’s sports car. “What if it was a smaller company? The pay probably isn’t...”

“Nicky.” Joe reaches out and places his hand on Nicky’s. “You can talk to me about anything.”

Nicky huffed out a breath. That’s right. Joe is his boyfriend now, and boyfriends don’t keep secrets. They trust each other. “I was offered another job.”

Joe perks immediately, sitting high on his chair. A smile spreads wide. “That’s wonderful, Nicky!”

“Thank you. I...” Another breath. “When I was interviewing, I mentioned that I might know a graphic designer who... Well, Merrick was treating you so terribly and I wanted to see if... just to give you options.”

Joe’s smile softens. He hums a little, like he’s considering. “What did they say?”

“I didn’t mean to say it was you, but Andy knew somehow. She said, ‘if it’s Yusuf al-Kaysani.’”

Joe shakes his head. “Andy? Andromache? Are you talking about The Old Guard?”

“Um. Yes.”

Joe sits back on the stool. His mouth opens, closes, and opens again. “The Old Guard?”

Nicky looks to his left and right, searching for an answer to a question he thought he already answered. “Yes?”

Joe’s brow furrows but he’s still smiling and Nicky is so very confused.

“They’ll take us both?” Joe says.

“Yes.”

Abruptly, Joe laughs. He bounces off the stool, comes around the island again, and pulls Nicky into a tight bear hug that lifts him clear off the ground.

“Nicky, that’s -! I can barely believe it! The Old Guard!” He’s laughing and spinning. Nicky, holding on, laughs too, delighted by Joe’s happiness even if he doesn’t entirely understand it. When he finally lowers Nicky, he says, “What a dream. To have you, Nicky, and a job offer from Andromache herself in one day.”

“Do you know her?” Nicky asks.

“Know her? She is legend.” Joe takes both of Nicky’s hands and kisses along the knuckles. “The Old Guard is famous world-wide, their work is unparalleled, and they are notoriously difficult to join. No one ever leaves. Oh, Nicky, you have given me so many gifts today. I think I might burst with happiness!”

Nicky had no idea The Old Guard is so famous. “So you’ll come with me?”

“I said I would follow you anywhere.”

“Yes, but -”

Joe kisses him. “I mean it, Nicky. Anywhere. And this is no hardship, believe me.”

By the time they remember breakfast, the eggs have gone cold. Nicky tries to make something else, but Joe, impatient, scarfs down the cold eggs and then leads Nicky back to the bedroom where they stay for most of the day.

“I must show my appreciation,” Joe says, following Nicky onto the bed. He reaches for Nicky’s boxers, and begins to slide them down.

“You don’t have to.”

“Oh, Nicky. I want to.”

*

The Old Guard has an open concept office. Desks and paperwork are strewn around in minor chaos. A kitchen sits in the far back corner, counter covered in too many take-out counters. Nicky immediately begins making plans for group meals.

Andy introduces the team: Nile, Booker, Quynh, and Lykon.

When Nicky and Joe tell her they’re dating, she rolls her eyes and says, “No, shit.” She tells them, “No sex in the office,” and that is that.

Nicky sits at his desk on wide side of the office and Joe on the other. They can see each other across the room. Joe catches his eye and winks.

Booker groans. Nile reaches over her desk and smacks him upside the head.

They’re chaotic but talented and friendly and fair. And when Andy stops by his desk to tell him, “Welcome to the family,” Nicky believes she means it. And it starts to feel like home.

*

“I never thought I’d find this,” Nicky says later, as he cuts open the tape on Joe’s last box. Joe’s jackets hang on the pegs near the door, beside Nicky’s. His clothes sit with Nicky’s in the drawers of their now-shared dresser.

“Love?” Joe asks from where he’s placing some of his books on the bookcase.

“Everything.”

Joe leaves what remains of the books in a pile and abandons the shelf to come to Nicky. He pulls Nicky into his arms. Nicky hooks his chin over Joe’s shoulder.

“I hate Merrick,” Nicky says, “But how can I not be grateful? If not for that job, I might not have found you.”

Joe tsks. “We would have found each other, Nicky. My heart knew you before I did. I would never have stopped searching until I found you.”

Though they have been together for several months now, Joe’s words still send Nicky’s heart racing as no other could.

“Like destiny?” Nicky asks.

Joe turns enough to kiss the shell of Nicky’s ear. “Destiny is not enough.”

Nicky laughs, delighted. “You incurable romantic.”

“Tell me you don’t love me.”

Nicky pulls away, enough to look at Joe - beautiful, happy, well-rested and well-fed. His love. His lover. His forever.

“Never.”

[rafael-silva]

38. Letting them warm their cold hands under your shirt - bc this is def something joe and nicky do

thank you! and they absolutely do! 

joenicky + #38. letting them warm their cold hands under your shirt | from this prompt list

FLUFF, domestic fluff, domesticity, softness, comfort, seriously there’s so much fluff

It’s been a rough winter. Turning on his side and looking out of their balcony window, Joe’s eyes scan an endless horizon covered in snow, sun hooded by clouds in the sky. He catches glimpses of his reflection staring back at him, his bedridden hair and thick beard.

Nicky had left twenty minutes ago to get some groceries for dinner. He got dressed while watching Joe stretch out in bed, having just woken up from a nap, the heated room allowing him to be in just a soft cotton t-shirt and boxers. He smiled sleepily at Nicky, stretching out some more and stifling a yawn. Joe’s smile widened when he noticed that Nicky was holding a scarf that Joe had gifted him recently. A soft, green cashmere scarf he found while buying some supplies for their last mission. He says it brings out the color in Nicky’s eyes. Eyes Joe would happily stare into for the rest of his life.

Nicky looked up from where he was tying his shoe laces and the way Joe’s eyes crinkle as he smiled at him? Nicky feels his own smile spread in reciprocation. And that silver sparkle dancing around his husband’s eyes? Yeah, Nicky could easily sing his own poetry about how even after centuries together, it makes his heart leap around his chest. At times, Nicky stops, looks at Joe in wonder, his thought: this man is mine.

Joe offered to go with Nicky to the store two blocks down the road, but Nicky had shaken his head, grabbing a coat, which Joe suspects belongs to him (Nicky always did prefer wearing Joe’s clothes), his gloves and walks around to the empty side of their bed. Joe feels the soft mattress dip with Nicky’s weight, his body swaying a little, still heavy with sleep. His love balances himself on one knee and closes the gap between them with a tender kiss.

“Stay. Keep the bed warm for me,” Nicky had mumbled against Joe’s lips. “I won’t be long.”

Joe smiled against Nicky’s mouth and gave him another kiss. A silent promise.

Nicky turns on his heels and makes his way towards the door, only turning to give Joe one last smile over his shoulder and leaves.

And now, watching the scenery outside, a smile tugs on Joe’s face at the memory. He feels sleep pull at him from all edges and decides to go with it. With a palm laid on Nicky’s pillow that smells like him, he drifts off, engulfed in the warm and comforting scent that belongs to the owner of his heart.

Nicky returns to find Joe asleep, and in that moment, wishes he were the artist so he could sketch this perfect scene. Instead, he pauses in his tracks, a recyclable bag in each hand filled with dinner necessities, and his eyes capture the view like a camera shutter. He tucks it into his mind, along with decades and decades worth of memories with this beautiful man.

He moves around the studio as quietly as possible, storing everything where it belongs, in cupboards and in the fridge. With a peek at the clock hanging on the red brick wall, he decides they still have some time before they start on dinner. He moves further down the kitchen counter to where the coffee pot sits empty and cold, he pulls out Joe’s favorite coffee brand, his own favorite tea and gets to work, knowing Joe will want some caffeine intake once he’s awake and Nicky could use a good, warm cup of tea himself.

Nicky turns around just as he hears his name called from behind. Although it’s more of a whisper rather than a call.

“Nicolo.”

Nicky always found Joe’s deep, sleep-laced voice attractive.

He turns to find Joe squinting at him and quite honestly, looking absolutely adorable.

“Ciao, amore mio,” Nicky replies. Hello, my love. “I see you have, indeed, kept the bed warm for me,” he smirks.

“Warmer with you here,” Joe half says, half mumbles, clearly still working on fully waking up. He reaches out his arm towards Nicky, barely harnessing enough energy as it hangs in the air for a few seconds before falling down next to his body, a gesture that spells out come here, I’ve missed you. “Nico.”

Nicky chuckles. It was always intriguing watching the process of Joe waking up. “Sono qui.” I’m here. He kicks off his shoes and does as he promised, sliding into bed and immediately gravitates towards his husband.

Joe wastes no time in tucking his face into the crook of Nicky’s neck, inhaling the sweet scent he knows by heart and soul, the scent that is all Nicolo and lets out a content sigh. In return, Nicky wraps a hand around Joe’s shoulder and draws him in close.

“Hi habibi,” Joe whispers, his eyes closed. My love.

Nicky replies with a kiss planted on the top of Joe’s head. He closes his eyes, savoring this moment, as he held Joe, both of them breathing in sync. Hearts beating as one.

Nicky begins running his hand up and down Joe’s arm, hand colliding with bare skin, a movement he knows relaxes his partner.

“Your hand is cold,” Joe mutters.

“Hm?”

Joe opens one eye and looks up at Nicky. “Your hand is cold,” he repeats. “Were you wearing your gloves, amore mio?”

“Si,” Nicky nods. “It’s really cold outside. I don’t think they helped much.”

“Hmm,” Joe studies Nicky’s face for a moment. “Come here.”

A weird shuffling happens as Joe rearranges them on the bed, limbs moving all over the place until he’s satisfied. With his own hand, Joe takes Nicky’s cold ones and slips them underneath his own shirt, the sudden press of Nicky’s icy fingers to his hot skin prompts a little escaped hiss from him.

Nicky moves to pull back—there are other ways to heat his hands, he doesn’t need to freeze his husband in the process—but Joe’s hold on his arms stops him.

“It’s okay, Nico, it’s already passed,” Joe reassures him. “And your hands are already getting warmer.”

Nicky does feel that, and with Joe’s words, relaxes as he feels the coldness seep out of his skin.

It’s always been like this, whether it’s summer or winter, Joe runs hot, while Nicky runs slightly cooler.

Nicky slowly starts tracing Joe’s skin with warming fingertips, in a way he knows tickles the other man. And true to that, Joe’s squirming in a matter of seconds and a couple of honest to God giggles escape him before transforming into deep, hearty laughs.

“Is this what I get for wanting you to be warm?” Joe teases around a chuckle.

“I love hearing your laugh, habib albi,” Nicky replies. My heart’s love.

“And I,” Joe presses a kiss to Nicky’s lips, “love you.”

Nicky gazes into Joe’s brown irises, getting lost in the depth, beauty and sincerity looking back at him. It takes his breath away. “I love you, Yusuf.”

With another smile and a soft kiss, Joe pulls back. “I smell coffee.”

Nicky nods and moves his eyes over to the counter where the coffee is ready, the pot filled and steaming.

Joe follows Nicky’s movement. “Did I tell you how much I love you?” He happily sighs, leaning back against the pillow and taking Nicky with him.

Nicky snickers, easily going with Joe and rests his head on Joe’s chest. “You can always tell me again.”

Joe’s reply is cut off and turns into another laugh as Nicky once again tickles him. His hands are warm now, but he keeps them plastered to Joe’s skin.

“The coffee is getting cold,” Joe says once he manages to take in a deep breath after a few more deep laughs.

Nicky moves his head and presses a gentle kiss to Joe’s neck. “I worked way too hard to let that coffee pot go cold.”

Joe playfully rolls his eyes at his husband. “I would hate for your hard work to go to waste. Come on, amore. You could use a cup of tea, too.”

[cantteachanoldguardnewquotes]

Of Course He Said Yes.

Read on AO3

Summary: Nicky finds the perfect rings and decides it's high time he proposes to his husband again.

No warnings apply.

*The poetry I used is not mine I combined some different lines I found on the internet*

"Oh." Nicky said aloud then quickly looked around to be sure no one else had heard him. He was in the clear. Joe had ran next door to get them iced tea while Nicky looked around the antique store, and no one else was around.

He looked back at the box with two of the most beautiful rings he'd seen in a long time. One was silver with a light sea blue winding around it and the other was the same color of blue with silver winding around it. He picked one up and realized there was half of a tiny sun carved into it and he was excited to see that it fit perfectly with the other tiny half of a sun, and it made the blue and silver align to look like one larger ring.

The rings might as well have been made for them, they were even the perfect size, except Nicky didn't think he could ever think that far into a ring. It reminded him of their visits to Malta and he was sure Joe would make the connection because the blue matched the blue of the sea perfectly.

Nicky didn't even check the price tag he just looked around to make sure Joe was no where in sight and walked up to the counter. "I'll take these, please." He smiled at the tired looking cashier.

The cashier picked up the box to scan the tag. "We've had these here for so long I wasn't sure anyone was going to buy them. I don't know why though, they're very pretty rings." He commented as he rung up his purchase.

Nicky smiled. "They were waiting for the right home."

The cashier only nodded absently at Nicky's comment, as Nicky handed over the money.

He slipped the box into his pocket and then went back to looking around the store. 

Except now he wasn't actually looking at anything. His mind was going in a million different directions as he pondered the best way to give them to Joe. 

When Joe walked in with their drinks looking like he belonged on the cover of a magazine (at least that was Nicky's humble opinion), with his shorts, t-shirt, and sunglasses. He gave Nicky the same bright smile he always gave him, and even though Nicky couldn't see his eyes he knew they were shining, and he knew exactly how he wanted to present these rings to his beloved. He was going to propose to him. Again. 

****

The rings he carefully stashed in his sniper case, hopefully a place Joe wouldn't look, while Nicky ironed out all the details for his big night. The only downside to sharing everything with Joe was it did make surprise gifts a little more work. Not that he would ever actually complain.

Clothes and storage space weren't the only things they shared. He was so used to telling Joe everything that he had been struggling to keep the cat in the bag, since all he could think about was how good the rings were going to look on Joe's fingers. 

But he managed to keep quiet and he didn't think Joe suspected a thing when Nicky asked him to go out Friday night. 

"Of course I'll go out Friday. Anywhere in particular you want to go?" Joe asked. 

Nicky brushed a loose curl off Joe's forehead. "I've got all the details planned out. It's a surprise." 

Joe raised an eyebrow. "Oh?" 

"Just something small I think you'll enjoy." Nicky said, trying to seem nonchalant. 

Joe grinned. "I'll enjoy any surprise if it's from you." 

**** 

Nicky led Joe to a secluded part of the beach where he had already set up a blanket, dishes, silverware, drinks, and a radio. He carried a cooler for the food in one hand and Joe's hand in his other. 

He smiled at Joe's excitement at having dinner on the beach. It wasn't Malta but the beach held a special place in their hearts no matter where they were. It wasn't as warm as Nicky had hoped but neither of them were really bothered by that. 

They settled on the blanket, side by side so that their shoulders and legs still touched. 

Nicky began pulling out the food he had prepared. He had asked Joe to stay out of the kitchen all afternoon so that dinner would also be a surprise, and now proudly presented the kabsa, tabbouleh, falafel, and date cookies he'd worked so hard on.

Joe grinned ear to ear at Nicky's choice of food. "You know just what I like." He nuzzled Nicky's neck in gratitude. 

"You would say the same thing if I'd brought lunch meat sandwiches." Nicky teased.

"That's because it's a gift from the heart, so it's all special." Joe says. "But you know these dishes are favorites of mine, and I know how much work you put in, so you should know how much I appreciate you." Joe kissed Nicky's cheek.

Nicky pointed the spoon he was dishing out the food with at Joe, his eyes full of amusement."Keep saying things like that and I'll have no choice but to make sure you eat extra date cookies."

"I'll have to keep that in mind." 

Joe took his first bite and nearly kissed Nicky then and there. He would have if he wasn't so hungry and unable to get enough of the delicious food. 

"Babe, I haven't had food this good since the last time you made it." He said blissfully, pausing only after he'd taken several bites of everything, tilting back his head.

"If you're not careful all these compliments are going to go to my head." He laughed, thrilled by Joe's reaction. 

"That's right where they should go, you have every right to be full of pride when you cook food this good." 

Nicky laughed again. "It's only because I had an eager taste tester to feed for all these years, that I practiced at all." 

"Ha!" Joe barked out. "I didn't trust you with my family's secret tabbouleh recipe for months after we started traveling together." 

"But I won you over." 

Joe couldn't stand it anymore and leaned in to give Nicky a proper kiss on the mouth.

"Boy, did you ever." Joe said after they parted.

They finished their meal and enjoyed desert, talking about everything and nothing at the same time, sharing long, sweet, kisses, and listening to the quiet music that played on the radio.

"Will you come with me? I have something I'd like to show you." Nicky asked, after their food had settled.

Joe looked surprised that there could be more to this already magical evening, but stood up without asking questions. 

Nicky took his hand and led him over to a cave in the rocks, he pulled out his phone's flashlight, motioning for Joe to do the same, and then led them inside. 

They kept walking, Nicky leading the way never doubting which way to go, until he led them to where it opened up, reveling an underground lake. 

It was beautiful and Joe could only stop and stare at how the water rippled, how the water and rocks caught the light, and how large the cavern they were in was. 

"Incredible." Joe whispered. 

Nicky squeezed his hand. "Thought you'd want to see it." 

Joe nodded still taking in the scene before him. 

"Now one more thing, if I could direct your attention over to this particular wall?" Nicky shined his flashlight to where he would like Joe to look.

Joe walked over to the wall, trying to figure out why it was important. "Oh, there's writing here." 

"I carved it into the wall so that it would last for a long time as a reminder of my love for you." Nicky explained. "Would you do me the honor of reading it out loud all the way through?" Nicky asked. 

"How long did that take you?" Joe murmured running his hand along the writing. "Of course I'll read it aloud." Joe cleared his throat and began. 

"I named the stars, one by one, after every favorite memory of you. I have late conversations with the moon; he tells me about the sun, and I tell him about you. my soul burns bright and it burns true but it burns only for you. You. Until the end of my days, you." 

Joe turned around, his heart melting and overcome with the love he felt, to find Nicky on one knee holding open a box with two rings in it. 

"Yusuf, will you marry me?" 

Joe couldn't speak. It didn't matter that they were already married, that they are more than that, but he wasn't sure if there was a word for what they are. It didn't matter that they had done this to each other more than a few times over the centuries. It didn't matter that he had already pledged himself to Nicky more times than he could count in more ways than he could name. 

Seeing the effort Nicky had put into this night to woo him, to sweep him off his feet, left Joe feeling more emotions than he knew what to do with. 

After a few moments of him trying and failing to speak, which he could tell just by his face Nicky was glowing at his ability to steal Joe's voice from him, he managed to squeak out. "Yes. Of course my answer is yes, I will always choose you Niccolò." 

Then they were kissing and hugging, trying to find air and space to kiss and talk at the same time to tell each other how much they love each other, how they would never have anyone else, how much they mean to each other. 

The world outside faded away and left them with nothing but this space and each other. 

"The rings! I want you to see the rings, Joe." Nicky said once they had stopped kissing each other like their life depended on it. 

"Yes, please, I need to see them." 

They still held onto each other as Nicky turned just enough to grab the box that lay forgotten on the ground. 

Nicky slid them onto Joe's fingers, gently and carefully replacing the old with the new. 

Joe held up his hand to admire them and get a better look with the flashlight. 

His breath caught in his throat and all he managed to breath out was "Malta." Before he was kissing Nicky again. 

"My love, my life, my everything, they are perfect the most beautiful rings a man could ask for." He said in between showering Nicky with kisses. 

"Knew you'd think of that as soon as I spotted them and thought of it myself." Nicky answered in between kisses. 

Nicky felt like he was on top of the world, and the luckiest man alive. This night was a perfect night.

[bookworm-pdx]

Here’s something I put together. It’s my first fanfic ever so hopefully it’s not terrible. Sorry for the weird format, I’m on mobile.

Joe on a honeypot mission. Except we don’t see him, sorry y’all.

Nicky clenched his jaw as he heard Joe through the wall. This was without a doubt the hardest part of his job. He felt himself twitch in his jeans and while it was an expected reaction it was still an inconvenience. He was working! He was a professional and he would not masturbate in the bathroom or come in his pants like a teenager. He especially won’t do it with Quynh sitting next to him.

Quynh shoots him a knowing smirk and he can’t help but wonder why he didn’t tell her to wait at the safe house with Nile and Andy. But here he is, sitting next to the sister he’s missed for centuries like a missing limb, wanting nothing more than to throttle her. He opens his mouth to tell her off for that knowing look when Joe whimpers out something he can’t quite catch. And that’s his problem. His Yusuf, his sun and stars, the light of his life. Everything good and right about the world, his husband and other half of his soul. Joe is in the next room over getting fucked by another man and moaning like a two dollar whore.

When Andy had approached them with the idea they had agreed. It was a part of the job they had to do sometimes and while they would occasionally seduce a handsome and generous lover the reality was that they were often stuck with old men who didn’t know or care about making their partners feel good. Today Joe had gotten lucky (in more ways than one) and had the job of seducing Preston Blackwell. A handsome and charming man who apparently knew how to show someone a good time. And while Nicky was glad his husband was dealing with someone who was clearly experienced it was almost harder to do his job when Joe was enjoying himself. Nicky knew his husbands every sounds and knew when he was putting on a show for his partner and while some may assume the porn star level moans were fake it was all Joe. An inhibited Joe who was getting a very good fucking.

A well fucked Joe always meant a distracted Nicky, something he didn’t consider when agreeing to the mission. Not that it would have changed anything, there was no way he would wait at the safe house while his heart was here. But still, it would’ve been nice to take the edge off before starting the mission.

“I never knew you to be jealous little brother.” Quynh teased. This was nothing new, seducing powerful men to get what they needed was something they had all done at one point or another. (Well not Nile but her time would come. Something Nicky absolutely did not want to think about.)

“I am not jealous. I’m simply… distracted by my husband and his very vocal encouragements.”

She hummed in agreement but gave him a look only Quynh was capable of, it clearly said he was full of shit and that they both knew it. While Andy was a master of withering glares that could kill a lesser man Quynh’s looks always felt like they were looking into your soul. Plus Andy had a soft spot a mile wide for her little brothers and new sister while Quynh was always a believer in tough love.

“Should I ask Andromache and Nile to take me out tonight so you can… receive some encouragement from Yusuf.”

Nicky opened his mouth to say it wasn’t necessary when Joe let out a loud moan. “F-fuck! Right there!”

On second thought Nicky may need some time with his husband tonight. Not that he was jealous, what they had couldn’t be torn apart by one night with another but it was always nice to reconnect after a mission like this one. “I think that sounds like a good idea Quynh, thank you.”

She gave him another smirk and slight nod, it was nice having his sister back even if she did act like an obnoxious know it all. As they sat there waiting for the all clear on the information transfer Nicky made plans for his night. He would have his husband, an empty safe house and all night to remind Yusuf who he belonged to. He hoped Joe didn’t tire himself out too much, he would need his energy tonight.

[ndcgalitzine]

I was tagged by @yusufs-stew-of-romance 🥰🥰😘😘 to list my top 5 canon ships followed by my top 5 non-canon ships.

Here we go..

Top 5 Canon Ships

1. Joe x Nicky 💖💖💖 - The Old Guard

2. Agron x Nasir - Spartacus

3. Phryne x Jack - Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries

4. Audrey x Nathan - Haven

5. Sawyer x Juliet - Lost

Top 5 Non-canon Ships

1. Frank x Karen - Daredevil/The Punisher

Now... some would argue that they are in fact canon, and I would mostly agree with that!!! But the fact is that they never kissed, they were never actually together, so sadly, they belong in the non-canon list for me! But my god they clearly love each other so much and it makes my heart ache 😭😭😭

... and I don't really have any other non-canon ships 🤷‍♀️ whoops

tagging @solarsystemmoonandsun @spacewitchqueen @of-genovia @nicolodikaysani @keeleysjones @theanity (if you want...)

and anyone else who wants to 😊