#my idea for this currently ends at 'the main casts reactions to waking up to this'

[e17omm]

I would kinda like to make an AU that at first just seems like a complete AU with nothing shared from HI3's world outside of characters. Like, the Earth got rings and no moon, there's ancient ruins everywhere, new countries and an altered landscape. It could follow Kiana and Mei and Bronya as they are exploring and they stumble upon some ancient ruins and stuff.

But then reveal that, no, this is 'Era 3' of HI3 (with the 'PE' being Era 1, in this case) and that in this AU what happened was something catastrophic during the final battle in Era 2 (aka, the CE);

The Moon's velocity was reduced, breaking its stable orbit, and it slowly got pulled towards the Earth.

Yeah if that actually happened the Moon would not crash into the Earth. Once the Moon passes the Roche limit, it would disintigrate as the tidal forces applied to it literally squeezes the Moon until it breaks, and its pieces would form rings around the Earth. That is after massive volcano eruptions, earthquakes, and tides as high as skyscrapers has destroyed most of all lives on the Earth.

But you know, you could technically survive it in bunkers or submarines.

I kinda wanna write the CE main casts reactions to being found and awakened out of cryosleep that they entered while waiting for the apocalypse to pass.

Like, imagine going into cryosleep, and when you wake up there's no Moon in the sky, and Earth got rings, and "what do you mean Earth didn't always have rings?"

(Yes I did just watch Kurzgesagt's video on this, shut up.)

[natromanxoff]

Record Mirror (July 14, 1979): 119/?

THE QUEEN BACKLASH ENDS HERE

WITHOUT DOUBT Queen are among that elite number of bands universally hated by the rock press.

The rancour is, make no mistake, mutual which is understandable. If you find yourself on the receiving end of an inveterate dislike at the outset of your career and watch it being nurtured and carefully cultivated over the next six years you’re bound to retaliate.

Queen’s hatred manifests itself by their continued habit of ignoring the music press i.e. refusing to give interviews. There is the occasional token “chat”, pointless as it is innocuous, but in the main it amounts to a blanket “No.”

One of the last interviews Freddie Mercury gave was the last nail in the perspex coffin. Under a headline which boldly asked ‘Is This Man A Prat?’ the king of the leotards was demolished by one of the old school Queen haters and Freddie obviously came to the conclusion, in its wake, that interviews in future would be both superfluous (he was popular enough) and detrimental.

The curtain, velvet naturally, closed.

Roger Taylor, a little wary, a little weary, sits stiffly in an armchair. The juggernauts rattling the Chelsea Street outside create a sonorous buzz bomb hum in the room.

You expect a member of Queen to look elegant. In fact Roger is only wearing a wine colour mohair jacket, black shirt and blue jeans.

He apologises for being a little late and explains how he went to the wrong address. Roger seems to be the only member of Queen left who is prepared, albeit rarely, to open his mouth in the presence of a hack. A question springs to mind . . . why?

“We all sat around a table before I flew over from Munich to discuss the press situation and we agreed I should be the one to represent the band. Freddie is very uncompromising and refuses to have much to do with journalists.

“Obviously, he’s had a few raw deals with them in the past,” observes Taylor.

Roger himself has a rather low view of the music press.

“Most of it is rubbish. There was something I liked recently, a piece on Malcolm McLaren, but in the main I think I’m the only one of Queen to actually read the music papers.”

Why does he think the band are systemically slagged?

“I think it’s because Queen have always come across as being a rather confident band. We seemed, to other people at least, to be very sure of ourselves. I think the press may have misconstrued the confidence, mistaking it for a form of arrogance. Hence they became wary of our motives which bred a dislike for our music.”

Now that’s what I call a neat conclusion.

At the risk of being sent to Coventry by my colleagues I’d like, if I may, to come clean. I love Queen (you’re fired, Ed).

I think it all began with a simple pre-packed but indisposable line – “Dynamite with a laser beam” and has continued uninterrupted (despite the occasional flaw) right through to ‘Queen Live Killers’.

A combination of reasons, Freddie Mercury’s lascivious lisp – the most attractive intonation known to man . . . Brian May’s reel ‘em off rococo riffs that would, in his capable hands, transform the theme music for ‘Waggoners’ Walk’ into a meisterwork . . . John Deacon’s almost stoic stance, incongruous yet integral . . . Roger Taylor’s intense power, so unexpected from one so slight . . . the ability to go over the top without failing into the trap of caricature . . . a desire to give the punters what they want without pandering . . . that cast iron confidence . . . those nine glorious winter weeks of ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ which kept the cold away from my soul . . .

Yes, I love Queen.

Roger explains the story behind ‘Killers’ which features just about every Queen classic which ever found its way into a silk lined memory bank.

“We always knew that one day we would make a live album. I think it was well planned. About 90 per cent of our last European tour was recorded on a mobile unit and we then spent weeks sitting through the songs in the studio.

“The result is a 100 per cent LIVE album. Nothing has been touched up in the process of selection, I think that’s pretty rare these days. Many ‘live’ albums are tampered with.”

The choice of single is unusual – ‘Love Of My Life’. “It’s not so unusual when you hear the way it came out. The song seems to have such a wide appeal. Everywhere we go the reaction to it is the same. The audience are just bursting to sing along.”

The result is Queen’s best single since ‘Don’t Stop Me Now’ (that was their LAST one crawler, ED)

As I mentioned earlier the band are currently residing in Munich where they are “experimenting” in the studio.

“We are recording in a totally different way for us,” says Roger who speaks with a delicate London accent only typical of cockneys with dramatic training and David Essex.

“Every time we entered a studio in the past we had a good idea of what we were going to do. This time we started from scratch and the result is amazing. The music is nothing like anything we’ve done before, I guess you could say it’s much simpler.”

And this novel approach to their music also extends to their shows. On their next British tour – in the late Autumn – the band will be playing much smaller venues than they are accustomed to.

“In London for example we went to play to audiences of about two or three thousand in different areas. I think it’s much fairer to the fans.”

But won’t this affect their stage show which is after all a crucial factor for any powerpomp outfit?

“Not really. We will just scale down the show accordingly. Besides,” he says taking another bite out of the biscuit, “we haven’t used dry ice in years.”

The monkey on Queen’s back, as corpulent and cantankerous as ever, has been put there by those who firmly believe the band can never emulate past achievements. Roger is cognizant of its presence but refuses to unpeel its bananas.

“That all began after ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’. When it stayed at number one all those weeks we were kindly informed that we would never be able to make another single to rival it both artistically and from the point of view of sales.

“Yet ‘We Are The Champions’ sold a great deal more and has since become the biggest selling single in the entire history of Elektra Asylum – our label in the States.

“We don’t do the amazingly complex things any more because we’ve moved on from that. We concentrate on the music we are doing now and we intend to do it the best we can, it’s ridiculous looking behind and and what you’ve done.

“There’s nothing like going back on the road to re-unite the bond between the four personalities and strengthening our belief in the band. We are a real working unit and, in my experience of the music business, one of the most democratic bands around today.”

A statement like that cries out to be expounded.

“People think every member of all the bands, not naming any names, are treated equally that is get the same money as their colleagues. That’s rubbish. In many bands there are a couple of guys that get all the money. The rest are on wages. Queen share the profits equally.”

And they don’t have a manager taking his cut either, John Reid departed a couple of years back and now the band themselves make all the major policy decisions. Why did they decide to dispense with the services of a manager?

“Basically because we were fed up with giving other people money. Y’know it never ceases to amaze me how naive those guys are in bands who have just had their first hit. After all this time I’ve forgotten just how naive we must have been at the beginning.

“I mean, everything seems so great when you get into the charts for the first time. You’re living on cloud nine and nothing else matters. But in truth that hit means absolutely nothing. So few people achieve any amount of financial success in this business.

“Oh, you think, you’re really living . . . for a while. Somebody gets you a flat in Chelsea and it’s all free. But one day the rent stops being paid for you and you realise you’re skint.

“Since John Reid has gone the four of us have always made a point of discussing everything together. We have various people working for us but all the important decisions are made by us alone. That way we get freedom of choice – and financial independence.”

My attention is suddenly diverted.

“FORTY-LOVE!” Wimbledon, the Persil White opiate for the hoi polloi squashed in a strawberry crush wrings out its perspiring petticoats on the TV in the next room.  Roger’s girlfriend, an extremely attractive French girl called Dominique, is engrossed. The couple have lived together for two years. Crippled old marriage questions permeate the air.

“I don’t believe in marriage,” says Roger. “It’s simply a contract and the fewer contracts I enter into the better. If you get on well with someone then there isn’t any harm in living with that person – but marriage is something else again.”

They live in a six bedroomed Victorian house just outside London, which is set in 20 acres. Roger has a “tiny” town house in Barnes as well. What’s it like having a bank full of money at the age of 29?

“I don’t hide away from life. Queen have never been one of those ‘being grabbed in the street’ type bands. It may happen when the four of us are together – but when we are out alone we are seldom bothered. That gives me the opportunity to enjoy myself. I go to clubs a lot. I like having a good time. I don’t think you could describe any of the band as leading sheltered lives.

“But I have completely lost touch with how much things cost. When you find yourself living in hotels for so long you never really deal in money as such. Everything is available whenever you want it – but you never see the cash actually being handed over.

“I’ve forgotten what it was like to be penniless which Queen were for years. I guess that must happen to many successful rock bands.”

Another thing that happens to many successful rock bands – they quit the country. But not Queen it appears.

“We have always based ourselves in England and I see no reason why we shouldn’t continue to do so. We could leave at any time but we choose to stay. People believe we are tax exiles because we spend a lot of the time out of the country recording in studios all over Europe and touring.”

And what will happen when the band finally trudge wearily down the road leading to that  ivory strewn elephants’ graveyard . . . ?

“I know it’s bound to happen one day. I suppose I’d take a long, long holiday . . . and then make a solo album.”

[jumukus]

A3! Translation: Spring Troupe’s Interview From Documentary Book’s “Moment of Spring”

Translation under the cut.

First of all, while looking at the photos on the cover, please tell us what happened on the day you took them.

Sakuya: It was a frame of the Spring Troupe's spring!

Chikage: I wonder if Sakuya was holding Hina dolls in his photo.

Citron: Oh, I know that! Isn't that the thing that was born while chirping after you kept it warm for three days and three nights?

Tsuzuru: It's not that "Hina."

Itaru: It's a different Hina.

Masumi: ...These ugly Hina dolls are put in the theater lobby.

Sakuya: Wow, Masumi-kun! You sure have a sharp eye.

Masumi: It’s because Director and I helped decorate them there.

Sakuya: Oh, I see. To tell you the truth, it was all due to Manager saying that the theater lobby felt kind of empty. And given that it's March, we decided to decorate the lobby with Hina Festival-themed items.

Tsuzuru: Not to mention that a lot of the audience members are girls.

Chikage: The Masumi in this photo… Was he about to give a present to Director?

Itaru: That expression is exclusive for Director only. He's so easy to read.

Tsuzuru: If I remember correctly, this was taken during White Day. I remember seeing him grinning ear to ear while staring at the present in our room.

Masumi: I was imagining Director's reaction after I gave her that present. I was sure she'd be surprised but at the same time so happy she couldn't stop laughing… Then, she'd blissfully say, "Thank you. I'll treasure it."

Itaru: Surprised but so happy she couldn't stop laughing?

Citron: Now I'm curious about what your present is!

Sakuya: So was she happy about the present?

Masumi: Not telling. It was a memory that only me and Director share.

Citron: Aw, Masumi is a cheapskate~.

Sakuya: Meanwhile… things seemed to be lively in Tsuzuru-kun's photo!

Tsuzuru: My brothers started fighting when I was making sakura mochi for our cherry blossom viewing. I know I should've just left them be since they're always fighting, but… I couldn't help but speak out.

Chikage: You're truly a natural born big brother, handling this kind of thing by reflexes.

Citron: Is that a carnation you were holding, Itaru?

Masumi: For mother's day?

Itaru: Yep. I was planning to buy flowers and stop by my home. My sister apparently predicted this and asked me to buy her sweets. I was talking to her in the photo. They're all very popular stores that can have people waiting in line. But well, they have pretty tolerable prices…

Masumi: Looking at your expression, you should have found some excuses to refuse her.

Itaru: You could say that because you don't how my sister is when she's mad…

Citron: I want to meet Itaru's rumored sister one day!

Masumi: ...Citron's pose looked weird in this one.

Sakuya: Whoa, the bamboo shoots are big!

Citron: I call it, "ever-growing bamboo shoots" pose~. The greengrocer uncle from the shopping district gave those fine bamboo shoots to me!

Tsuzuru: You really are the idol of the shopping district… As long as Citron-san is here, looks like we don't need to worry about hunger issue. It's already been taken care of without us knowing.

Itaru: Last one is senpai… Huh? Is it really okay to have your photo like this? You were in the middle of doing some dangerous side jobs in this one, right?

Chikage: What do you take me for? As you can see, I was making a helmet with origami.

Masumi: I saw this helmet in the theater lobby. It was so symmetrical and terrifyingly well-made.

Tsuzuru: It felt like that helmet brought out Chikage-san's personality.

Citron: We all were enjoying spring and taking a very blissful shot!

Sakuya: That's right! Spring is indeed such a lovely season!

Then, as we looked back at your plays up until the sixth one, please tell us an event that left the most impression on you.

Citron: It would take forever, you know! We have a loooot of memories together, though I think the turning point of Spring Troupe was during our debut and fourth play.

Tsuzuru: During our debut play, we were all still beginners in theater and were still figuring out everything. Chikage-san joined us during our fourth play and we became a six-member group… I've gotta admit we underwent a major change as a troupe that time.

Sakuya: In addition, it was during the preparation for these two plays that we slept on the stage together!

Tsuzuru: The first time we did it was because Yuzo-san roasted us so bad, so we decided to sleep onstage to understand the play better. During our fourth play, we already invited Chikage-san but since he had work to do, we couldn't do it...

Masumi: But when we headed to the theater for our morning practice, these two were sleeping. Thus, I slept too.

Itaru: We were so noisy at that time so I figured you'd wake up soon, but… you sure slept like a log, huh, senpai?

Chikage: I still woke up in the end since your snoring was too loud, though.

Itaru: Seriously?

Masumi: You do look like the type who snores loudly.

Chikage: Joking aside… back then, I was surprised when I woke up and found you all there.

Citron: Oh, so our prank was a big success in the end! I wanna throw another slumber party with you all~.

Sakuya: Me too! I want to chat about a lot of things with you all!

Masumi: About love?

Itaru: I have a feeling Masumi's gonna monopolize that talk.

Tsuzuru: Heck yeah…

Chikage: That sounds fun. Why not?

Now that all of you have experienced becoming the leading actors, please tell us what kind of roles or performance you want to have.

Chikage: Since we have Tsuzuru here, it wouldn't hurt to say whatever we want, right?

Tsuzuru: You have a point, and it can also be a motivation to act. For the time being, I'd like to hear what you want to do...

Citron: In that case, I wanna appear in a Japanese style play!

Itaru: ...Ah, in that case, don't you think adding fantasy element to the play will be cool? Like a youkai-themed play.

Tsuzuru: Some amazing suggestions came right at the very beginning… But well, given that we rarely deliver a Japanese style play, I think it may turn good.

Masumi: Then, I want to take on a knight role. Obviously, the one playing the princess will be--.

Tsuzuru: Since we already have KniRoun that had similar sense, I don't think we'll do that now.

Masumi: If so--.

Tsuzuru: Not a bridegroom role. If we're going to do a play set at a wedding hall, then we'll also have one of Spring Troupe members crossdress to play the bride.

Chikage: Tsuzuru crossdressing, huh… That's kind of new.

Sakuya: It may fit him, surprisingly.

Tsuzuru: Why me!? I'm banning you all from raising random flags!

Citron: Do you have any roles you want to play, Chikage?

Chikage: A role I want to play, huh… Since I've only performed three plays at the moment, there's nothing in particular.

Itaru: How about taking a non-glasses character once more? All of your characters are wearing glasses except Gawain.

Masumi: Playing a glasses character once per two plays?

Sakuya: But I feel like Chikage-san can pull of any kind of characters!

Tsuzuru: Well, yeah. Since you're good at stage combat… I think giving you another role with lots of action will be a great idea.

Chikage: Exercising is one of my fortes, so I'll do my best if you give me one. How about you, Sakuya?

Sakuya: ...It's not really a role, but I want to deliver a play with everyone in the theater troupe someday!

Itaru: That means the main cast will consist of 24 people.

Citron: Oh, it sounds very fun! I want to do it too!

Masumi: I support that idea. That way, we'll have less lines. Tsuzuru will probably die, though.

Itaru: That'll be Tsuzuru's posthumous work…

Tsuzuru: Please stop saying things that will bring bad luck like that! I do admit I feel like the Sanzu River comes into view, though! ...But well, I want to do that too one day. I have a feeling I can write a piece that I've never written until this day.

Sakuya: Whoa… I'm already looking forward to see what kind of characters and story that you'll come up with!

Chikage: So can I expect this piece to be your masterpiece?

Itaru: This'll be a piece that continues to be handed down in Japan's theater industry.

Citron: Non, non! It'll be a piece that easily sweeps the top categories at International Theater Awards.

Tsuzuru: H-Hey, I haven't even started writing it! Please stop raising the bar!

I'd also like to ask about your personal stories. Given that this book is dedicated to "Moments of Spring Troupe", can you tell us what kind of thing that is currently popular within your troupe?

Itaru: If I have to choose, I think it's Zahra's board game--the one that Prince Tangerine gave us as a souvenir during the sixth play.

Masumi: The game requires each of us to cultivate the uninhabited islands in Zahra, develop it and do some tradings.

Sakuya: The player with the most territories will be declared the winner at the end of the game! The game is so interesting that it has become our daily routine to play it once we're done with rehearsals!

Citron: I'm glad that everyone is enjoying the game! I also have a game that I'd like to recommend to you all, you see! I'll have Guy get it next time!

Chikage: Last time I checked there's also a game in which you become a spices merchant and get rich, right? I'm a little bit curious about that one.

Tsuzuru: No, I don't think the Zahra Kingdom has that kind of ga--.

Citron: I expected no less from Chikage! You even know that game! OK, I'll have them send that too!

Itaru: Wow, it does exist…

Last but not least, please send a message to the fans who are always supporting Spring Troupe.

Sakuya: On behalf of Spring Troupe… I'd like to thank you all for always supporting us! Before we knew it, we already held six plays. It was all thanks to your support that we were able to deliver this number of plays. Even if it's only one, we'll be happy if you have scenes or lines from our plays that are unforgettable to you. For our next play, we promise to give everything we can to deliver a beautiful performance to you all. Therefore--

Spring Troupe: Thank you for your continuous support!

T/N:

*Hina doll shares the same kanji as chick (雛) hence the misunderstanding.

**For those who don't know, Hina Festival is usually held on March 3.

***In Japanese myths, the Sanzu River is a river that people are said to cross on the seventh day after their death.

[painted-crow]

Fictional double Birds, webcomics edition!

I found/rediscovered some more Bird characters for y'all~

These pals are all webcomic characters, so you can read their stories for free :D the name headers link to the first page of their respective comics!

Just a reminder, clicking the images gives you better quality and can make the text easier to read. I've put alt text on the images with the relevant info--sorry if this still isn't the most accessible post. ^^;

Henry Jekyll (The Glass Scientists)

Thanks to @aubade-things for reminding me this comic exists, and for discussing it with me! I binged the whole thing a few days ago, haha.

The Glass Scientists is a webcomic about a haven society for mad scientists, in a world that does not like them. Jekyll here is trying to keep it from falling apart, but between mad science shenanigans, plain old lack of funding, and a fellow called Hyde who is definitely not the same person, who told you that, he's... uh... struggling.

Jekyll screams Badger secondary at first, his Bird secondary is just VERY burnt.

He idealizes Badger as a huge part of how he thinks a Proper Gentleman should be, and he has this super uptight Badger performance that does noooot actually make him happy.

His primary's shaky, too, but he's working on it. This just about says it all, honestly:

Yes, that is a figment of his own imagination yelling at him for using Bird secondary to sort out a major piece of his system.

Jekyll is peak "person who looks like they have their shit together but is actually a mess underneath" and I'd be okay with him being a little less relatable thank you very much

He is slowly reclaiming his secondary though:

Sidenote: I have had almost that exact experience, about the same topic, during a period where I'd burned Bird secondary.

(Seven year old Paint was obsessed with the idea of plant medicine. You know how some kids mix up "potions" with stuff from their back yard? I wanted mine to work. I had this giant textbook about it and everything.)

Alas, remembering was less useful to me; all it really gave me was an extra uncanny experience reading this webcomic :p

Thistle (Daughter of the Lilies)

Thistle is a cinnamon roll hiding a whoooooole lot of trauma and anxiety. I'll let you find those panels for yourself, though. Instead, here she is entertaining some children with her magic:

Sometimes she sounds like a Badger primary, but she's a full-fledged Bird:

Her secondary is a little singed, too, but hers is WAY better off than Jekyll's. She's doin ok.

Spoiler warning: the current comic arc shows her face, which is a major reveal--so if you want to puzzle out what her deal is on your own, start from the beginning and avoid the front page for now ^^

She's also super relatable, but in a way that doesn't bug me. I'm trying to figure out why Jekyll does... I think it's that he's an example of a very burnt Bird secondary that looks seriously familiar to me, but his primary is unstable too and I find that unnerving--I've never burned mine. To me, he feels deeply unhealthy in a way that Thistle doesn't at all. Thistle's morality is very clear and bright; the parts of her system she struggles with most are about how she sees herself, but I deal with the same thing (it's probably less common for Birds not to) so that's fine.

That does say something about the general tone of the two stories. DotL deals with some heavy topics, but it's a much more optimistic feeling world with a much more stable protagonist.

DotL fights with Girl Genius for rank as my favorite webcomic, period. Everyone should go read it, it's beautiful and funny and relatable and tragic and then it's funny again. Also there are dragons! At least one of them is plot relevant, and several of the pages he's on got turned into posters by popular demand because the art is just that good.

Speaking of Girl Genius:

Gilgamesh Wulfenbach (Girl Genius)

Girl Genius is a gaslamp fantasy comedy adventure romance about mad scientists, and it does all of those things really well at the same time. Perhaps unsurprisingly, it's a goldmine for Bird secondaries.

This story has also been adapted into ebook and audiobook versions, so if comics are hard for you to read, that could be a more accessible option!

Snake primary is the most popular (Agatha, Tarvek, Zeetha, Bang, Krosp, Lars, and most of the Jagers) but there are a few Birds hanging around. The Baron is a Bird primary, I think, and Othar is some form of Exploded Idealist (double Lion?) but I'm going to focus on Gil because he's a main character.

The page that cements his primary for me is this one, where he's arguing with Snake primary Zeetha (who is Loyal to Agatha). Agatha's been the victim of some weird mind control stuff by the story's BBEG, but Gil hasn't gotten that context yet and the Baron (his dad) is convinced Agatha IS the BBEG.

And yes, he's technically pantsless in this scene but hasn't realized that yet either. It's not his fault... the "ability to rant" part of a Spark's brain wakes up long before their situational awareness does.

Also lol @ Zeetha's reaction. Gil is one of Agatha's Important People, and Agatha is Zeetha's, so he's safe, for now, if he behaves.

As for his secondary:

And:

Like many of the cast, Gil is a Spark and very vulnerable to nerd sniping. RIP his lost sleep.

Also mine, actually. I'm gonna end this here and try to go back to bed ^^;

Happy reading!

[marvellouslymadmim]

Hey! Aspiring fanfic writer here; I was wondering if you could talk a bit about your writing/editing process and how long it all takes.

Thanks!

Welp, roughly the same extremely long amount of time it takes to actually answer an ask, tbh 🙃

So...I only know how my brain works, and I can only tell you what works for me might not work for you, and that's OK. I'm breaking into two separate bits, because I almost never do writing and editing at the same time.

And as far as a timeline, honestly it just depends. On life factors, what my hormones are doing at the time (jfc like the week before my period, I have zero creativity, motivation, or attention span), if I'm having trouble with a particular scene, if I'm getting consistent positive feedback (yes, I can totally admit that I write faster when I know a particular reviewer is following along with every update), etc.

WRITING:

First, you gotta just...be fixated, I guess. Particularly if it's an AU, I sit with it for a long time before I ever write a word. I go over scenes, think about how the world changes, what stays the same, what *has* to stay the same to keep the characters true to their canon personalities. I sit with the characters for a long time, too--not just the main characters, but the supporting cast, too. In order to predict someone's future, you have to know their past. Most of our present actions are actually reactions to past events, when you think about it. The better you know your version of the character, the easier every other aspect of writing will be. I don't know how it is for other people, but I don't ever "feel" like I'm writing. I feel like I'm "witnessing", and the characters are simply doing whatever they wish. (***this is gonna be a thing during the editing process, too, so hang on to that)

Then once I have a general idea, I choose a title. Generally, I do not even start a word document until I have a proper title to put on it. The title is part of the theme and aesthetic to me, and it grounds me in the overall arc.

Once that's done, it's time for outlining. I generally wait until I feel this weird almost tingling in my left arm (weirder still bc I'm right handed) and I'm practically vibrating with a need to WRITE THIS STORY NOW. Then I put on some Bear McCreary (honestly, any videogame soundtrack will do, as they are literally designed to help you maintain focus and keep pace) and fucking go to town. For me, it helps to do this with pen and paper, so that I can go back up and squiggle little notes in the margin, rearrange the order, etc, far faster than I could on a computer.

Important note: the outline is not the end-all be-all. Some things don't make it to the final print. Some minor storylines get tossed or characters simply...take a different path than I expect. I will continue re-writing and updating the outline as I go along. On average, I usually have 5-8 outlines per story, and they're often 3-10 pages long. I also have a posted outline, which is a log of all the scenes that did make it to the final product. 

Then, it's the actual writing, at long last. I have found that I write best at the start of my day, before the noise and static of daily life comes in. So I wake up around 5am and spend 90minutes writing before beginning my workday routine. I have the Word app on my phone and may continue adding bits in throughout the day at work, if I get a moment. However, after 5pm my brain is usually fried and no more creativity happens. On weekends, I try to have one morning where I "sleep in" til 6am, and then write until at least 10am, sometimes 2pm, if I can get away with it.

The hardest part still is knowing when to transition and when to skip to the next chapter/scene/whatever. This is like...zero percent helpful, but I liken it to Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart's definition of pornography: "I know it when I see it." It may seem like a scene is circling, and sometimes it means you gotta leave the room a bit earlier bc the scene has already served its purpose. Other times, it means ya gotta stay with it a bit longer, because there's something the character is trying to say. Give them patience, and give yourself patience, too. Explore the scene and its dynamics. You won't know til you know and even then, sometimes you won't be entirely sure. That's ok, too. Part of the process. Remember editing will happen and you can decide then (hell, you can literally re-edit after it's been published, I've done that before too and added a note on the next chapter for any readers who might have read the first version 🤷🏻‍♀️ not ideal but still functional).

EDITING:

I do simple edits (spelling, grammar, etc) just about every morning as I reread what I wrote the day before, which is a refresher course for the day's writing session. But big "real" editing generally doesn't happen until right before posting.

Now, here's the ***issue from writing: sometimes, something just "doesn't work" in a scene. Again, you'll know it when you see it. The words a character is saying feels clunky. The pacing feels off. Something just...ain't right. More often than not, it means either I haven't truly sat with a character long enough to know their true motivations/backstory, or I am not giving characters the proper time/space/impediment to make the actions or say the things they're currently making/saying. I'm trying to force the flow, rather than letting it ebb and breathe when it needs to.

Absolute ProTip: You spent HOURS writing this scene. It's got some REALLY GOOD moments and lines in it. It doesn't work but you can't just delete it. It's your LIFE. I struggle with this A LOT, and I have found a solution: create a second "outtakes" document to cut and paste those scenes into. Sometimes I still keep moments or bits of dialog. Sometimes I later use bits in a later scene. Sometimes I never look at it again but I still feel secure in knowing that if I wanted to go back and use the original scene instead, I totally can. I don't think I've actually ever gone back to the original, tbh, but it reduced my anxiety about deleting the scene and starting over.

So back to the scene that doesn't work. I take it apart, figure out *at what exact point* it stops working, then work back up a few lines to see where the shift actually begins. More often than not, it's because I'm having characters express their feelings in ways they actually wouldn't. (people very very very rarely actually say what they're thinking/feeling, and you have to relay it in other ways). So I have to keep the internal monologue of what they're actually feeling/thinking, while figuring out how that actually translates via tone, body language, and what they do and don't say.

The "something ain't working stage" can take LITERAL WEEKS. I sometimes have to walk away for awhile, or tackle it only on days when I know I have hours upon hours to truly work on it. I keep circling back around, and eventually, the knot works itself out. Persistence, and insistence that "good enough" isn't actually good enough, are key. (this is why you have to fixated on the story you want to tell--because some days, it's going to take every ounce of that obsession to keep you going and keep you on the track of telling the story you wanted to tell, rather than settling or switching to an easier tack)

Sometimes, editing is a breeze. I don't change much, I may go a little more into the character's inner world here or there. Once you've been doing this for awhile, you'll just know when a story hits all its marks--and you'll also know when it's not, when it could be more or do more, and you can figure out how to get it there. There isn't a precise formula for it, it's more like cooking without an actual recipe to follow--a dash here, a bit there, you'll know it when you taste it.

And I'll leave you with this unsolicited bit: just write. Write often, write about everything, write what makes YOU passionate and happy, and absolutely write for yourself. Edit the fuck out of it, if you need to. Get a beta reader, if you need to. Get someone to just bounce ideas off, if you need to. And don't post it until you're truly ready and it's something you genuinely want to share. If someone gives constructive criticism, take in on the chin and move on (keep the notes, if you think they're valid, and toss em if you don't--you'll never be everyone's style of writer, so know that sometimes, people just won't be the target audience). Know that you'll grow and you'll learn and you'll find your own voice and like any skill, you'll develop a second nature about it--all those parts where I say "you'll know it when you see it" or "you'll feel it" absolutely come from spending a literal lifetime (28 years) writing stories, and thirteen years of writing fanfic in particular. It's ok if you don't see it or feel it right away. It takes practice. And you will have an audience at every skill level, no matter what (finding that audience? different story altogether...).

All totaled, this process can take anywhere from 3months to over a year. Stories are like children, I've found: they each develop at their own pace, and some may need more time and assistance than others. But they're still pretty wonderful. (except the bratty stories. they're the worst 🙄)

[oscopelabs]

It’s Arrested Development: How ‘High Fidelity’ Has Endured Beyond Its Cultural Sell-By Date by Vikram Murthi

It’s easy to forget now that at the beginning of 2020, before the pandemic had taken hold of our consciousness, for a brief moment, High Fidelity was back. Not only did Nick Hornby’s debut novel and Stephen Frears’ film adaptation celebrate major milestones this year — 25th and 20th anniversaries, respectively — but a TV adaptation premiered on Hulu in February. In light of all of these arbitrary signposts, multiple thinkpieces and remembrances litigated Hornby’s original text on familiar, predictable grounds. Is the novel/film’s protagonist Rob actually an asshole? (Sure.) Does Hornby uphold his character’s callous attitudes towards women? (Not really.) Hasn’t the story’s gatekeeping, anti-poptimist approach to artistic taste culturally run its course? (Probably.) Why do we need to revisit this story about this person right now? (Fair question!)

Despite reasonable objections on grounds of relevancy, enough good will for the core narrative—record store owner seeks out a series of exes to determine a pattern of behavior following a devastating breakup—apparently exists to help produce a gender-flipped streaming show featuring updated musical references and starring a decidedly not-middle-aged Zoë Kravitz. I only made it through six of ten episodes in its first (and only) season, but I was surprised by how closely the show hewed to High Fidelity’s film adaptation, to the point of re-staging numerous scenes down to character blocking and swiping large swaths of dialogue wholesale. (Similarly, the film adaptation hewed quite close to the novel, with most of the dialogue ripped straight from Hornby.) Admittedly, the series features a more diverse cast than the film, centering different experiences and broadly acknowledging some criticisms of the source material regarding its ostensibly exclusionary worldview. Nevertheless, it seemed like a self-defeating move for the show to line itself so definitively with a text that many consider hopelessly problematic, especially considering the potential to repurpose its premise as a springboard for more contemporary ideas.

High Fidelity’s endurance as both a piece of IP and a flashpoint for media discourse is mildly baffling for obvious reasons. For one thing, its cultural milieu is actually dated. Even correcting for vinyl’s recent financial resurgence, the idea of snooty record store clerks passing judgment on customer preferences has more or less gone the way of the dodo. With the Internet came the democratization of access, ensuring that the cultivation of personal taste is no longer laborious or expensive, or could even be considered particularly impressive (if it ever could have been). Secondly, as one might imagine, some of Hornby’s insights into heterosexual relationships and the differences between men and women, even presented through the flawed, self-deprecating interiority of High Fidelity’s main character, are indeed reductive. Frears’ film actually strips away the vast majority of Hornby’s weaker commentary, but the novel does include such cringeworthy bits like, “What’s the deal with foreplay?” that are best left alone.

Accounting for all of that, though, it’s remarkable how many misreadings of Hornby’s text have been accepted as conventional wisdom. It’s taken as a given by many that the novel and film earnestly preach the notion that what you like is more important than what you are like when, in fact, the narrative arc is constructed around reaching the opposite conclusion. (The last lines of the novel and film are, literally, “…I start to compile in my head a compilation tape for her, something that's full of stuff she's heard of, and full of stuff she'd play. Tonight, for the first time ever, I can sort of see how it's done.”) That’s relatively minor compared to the constant refrain that Rob’s narcissism goes uncriticized, even though the story’s thematic and emotional potency derives from what the audience perceives that Rob cannot. To put it bluntly, High Fidelity’s central irony revolves around a man who listens to music for a living being unable to hear the women in his life.

While Hornby’s prose immerses the reader in Rob’s interior monologue, providing ample room for the character to spout internal justifications of his behavior, the novel hardly obscures or conceals this conclusion. Moreover, the film makes it unavoidably explicit in numerous scenes. Rob (John Cusack) triumphantly pantomimes Rocky Balboa’s boxing routine soundtracked to Queen’s “We Are The Champions” after his ex-girlfriend Laura (Iben Hjejle) confirms she hasn’t yet slept with her new boyfriend Ray (Tim Robbins), but doesn’t hear the part where she says she prefers to sleep next to him. When Laura informs Rob that she did eventually sleep with Ray, Rob completely falls apart. In an earlier, more pointed scene, Rob goes out with his ex-girlfriend from high school (Joelle Carter) to ask why she chose to have sex with an obnoxious classmate instead of him. She venomously informs him that he actually broke up with her because she was too prudish, an abrupt, cruel bit of business we actually witness at the film’s beginning. It was in her moment of heartbroken vulnerability that she agreed to quickly sleep with someone else (“It wasn’t rape because I technically said, ‘Okay,’ but it wasn’t far off,” she sneers), which ultimately put her off sex until after college. Rob doesn’t hear this explanation or the damning portrait of his teenaged self. Instead, he’s delighted to learn that he wasn’t actually dumped.

These are evidently low character moments, one’s that are comedic in their depiction of blinkeredness but whose emotional takeaways are crystal clear, and one’s that have been written about before. My personal pick from the film, though, comes late when Rob attends Laura’s father’s funeral. He sits in the back and, in typical fashion, turns to the camera to deliver a list of songs to play at his funeral, concluding with his professed wish that “some beautiful, tearful woman would insist on ‘You’re The Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me’ by Gladys Knight.” It’s a really galling, egotistical moment that still makes me wince despite having seen the movie umpteen times. Yet, it’s immediately followed by the casket being lowered to the ground as Laura’s sobs ring out in the church. In a movie defined by John Cusack’s vocal timbre, it’s one of the few times when he completely shuts up. From two-thirds down the center aisle, Frears’ camera pushes into Cusack’s face until tears in his eyes are visible, but what you really see is an appropriately guilt-ridden, ashamed expression.

However, none of this evidence carries any weight if your objection to High Fidelity is that Rob suffers no material consequences for his behavior. While Rob is frequently called out for his actions, he is never actively punished. He doesn’t, say, receive a restraining order for continually calling Laura after they’ve broken up or end up alone mending a permanent broken heart because of his past relationships. By the end, Rob and Laura get back together and Rob even starts an independent record label on the side. It’s a stretch to characterize Hornby’s High Fidelity as a redemption tale, but it is a sideways rehabilitation narrative with a happy ending that arises at least partly out of mutual exhaustion.

Those two elements—Rob’s asshole recovery and the exhausted happy ending—rarely seem to factor into High Fidelity discourse. Granted, there’s credence to the idea that, socially and culturally, people have less patience for the personality types depicted in High Fidelity, and thus are less inclined to extend them forgiveness, let alone anything resembling retribution. I suppose that’s a valid reaction, one against which I have no interest in arguing, but it’s somewhat ironic that High Fidelity has endured for reasons that have nothing to do with its conclusions regarding inflexible personal principles and the folly of escapism. Both the book and film are specifically about someone who slowly comes to terms with accepting reality rather than live in a world mediated by pop cultural fantasies whose unrealistic expectations have only caused personal suffering. It’s not unfair to characterize this as a fairly obvious epiphany, but considering we currently live in a world dominated by virtual echo chambers with an entertainment culture committed to validating arrested adolescence, it retroactively counts as “mature” and holds more weight than it otherwise should.

Near the end of High Fidelity, the book, after Rob and Laura have gotten back together in the aftermath of Laura’s father’s death, Hornby includes a chapter featuring five conversations between the couple unpacking the state of their relationship. During the third conversation, Rob and Laura fight about how she doesn’t care about music as strongly as he does, catalyzed by Rob’s objection to Laura liking both Solomon Burke and Art Garfunkel, which, in his mind, is a contradiction in terms. Laura finally admits that not only does she not really care about the difference between them, but that most people outside of his immediate circle of two don’t care about the difference, and that this mentality is indicative of a larger problem. It’s part of what keeps him stuck in his head and reluctant to commit to anything. “I’m just trying to wake you up,” she says. “I'm just trying to show you that you've lived half your life, but for all you've got to show for it you might as well be nineteen, and I'm not talking about money or property or furniture.”

I fell for High Fidelity (first the movie, then the book) as a younger man for the reasons I assume most sensitive-cum-oblivious, culturally preoccupied straight guys do: it accurately pinpoints a pattern of music consumption and organizationally anal-retentive behavior with which I’m intimately familiar. I spent the vast majority of my early years listening to and cataloguing albums, and when I arrived at college, I quickly fell in with a small group of like-minded music obsessives. We had very serious, very prolonged discussions filled with impossibly strong opinions about our favorite artists and records. Few new releases came and went without them being scrutinized by us, the unappreciated scholars of all that is righteous. List-making wasn’t in vogue, but there wasn’t a song that passed us by that we didn’t judge or size up. I was exposed to more music during this relatively short period of time than I likely will ever absorb again. Some of these times were the most engaging and fun of my life, and I still enjoy discussing and sharing music with close friends, but I’m not such a true believer to fully feel comfortable with this behavior. It’s not entirely healthy on its own and definitely alienating to others, and there comes a point when you hear yourself the way a stranger might, or maybe even catch a glimpse of someone’s eyes when you’re midst rant about some stupid album, and realize, “That’s all there is of me. There isn’t anything else.”

This is what Rob proclaims to Laura in the conversation when she tells him she was more interested in music during their courtship than she is now. It’s a patently self-pitying statement on his part that doesn’t go unchallenged by her in the moment or bear fruit in the rest of the novel. Yet, it’s this type of uncomfortably relatable sentiment that goes under-discussed. If High Fidelity will continue to have a life well after its cultural moment has passed, then it’s worth addressing what it offers on its own terms. Near the end of the book, Laura introduces Rob to another couple with whom he gets along quite well. When the evening comes to an end, she tells him to take a look at their record collection, and it’s predictably filled with artists he doesn’t care for, e.g. Billy Joel, Simply Red, Meat Loaf. “'Everybody's faith needs testing from time to time,” Laura tells him later when they’re alone. Amidst Rob’s self-loathing and sullen pettiness, Hornby argues that one should contribute in some way rather than only consume and that, at some point, it’s time to put away childish ideas in order to get the most out of life. It’s an entirely untrendy argument, one that goes against the nostalgic spirit of superhero films and reboot culture, but it doesn’t lack merit. Accepting that some values aren’t conducive to a full life, especially when it’s shared with someone else, doesn’t have to mean abandoning interests or becoming an entirely different person. It just means that letting go isn’t an admission of defeat.

It’s why I’ve always found the proposal scene in the film to be quite moving, albeit maybe not specifically romantic. It plays out similarly in both the book and the film, but the film has the added benefit of Cusack and Hjejle’s performances to amplify the vulnerability and shared understanding. Laura meets Rob for a drink in the afternoon where he sheepishly asks if she would like to get married. Laura bursts out laughing and says that he isn’t the safest bet considering he was making mixtapes for some reporter a few days prior. When asked what brought this on, Rob notes that he’s sick of thinking about love and settling down and marriage and wants to think about something else. (“I changed my mind. That’s the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard. I do. I will,” she sarcastically replies.) He goes on to say that he’s tired of fantasizing about other women because the fantasies have nothing to do with them and everything to do with himself and that it doesn’t exist never mind delivering on its promise. “I’m tired of it,” he says, “and I’m tired of everything else for that matter, but I don’t ever seem to get tired of you.”

This sort of anti-Jerry Maguire line would be callous if Laura didn’t basically say the same thing to him when they got back together. (“I’m too tired not to be with you.”) It’s possible to read this as an act of mutual settling, but I always thought Hornby’s point was personal growth and accepting one’s situation were intertwined. The key moment in High Fidelity, the film, comes when Laura finds Rob’s list of top five dream jobs. (In the book, Laura makes Rob compile the list.) At the bottom of the list, after such standard choices like music journalist and record producer, lies architect, a job that Rob isn’t entirely sure about anyway. (“I did put it at number five!” he insists.) Laura asks Rob the obvious question: wouldn’t you rather own your own record store than hypothetically be an architect, a job you’re not particularly enthused with anyway?

It’s Laura who convinces Rob that living the fifth-best version of your life can actually be pretty satisfying and doesn’t have to be treated like a cruel fate worse than death. Similarly, Rob and Laura both make the active decision to try to work things out instead of starting over with someone else. Laura’s apathy may have reunited them, and Rob’s apathy might have kept him from running, but it’s their shared history that keeps them together. More than the music and the romance, High Fidelity follows the necessary decisions and compromises one has to maneuver in order to grow instead of regress. “I've been letting the weather and my stomach muscles and a great chord change in a Pretenders single make up my mind for me, and I want to do it for myself,” Rob says near the end of Hornby’s novel. High Fidelity’s emotional potency lies in taking that sentiment seriously.

[one-boring-person]

Only Traitors Consort With The Damned (Part Eight)

The Lost Boys x reader

Warnings: mentions of death

Context: (y/n) has to stay entertained at the cave, and so goes about setting up defences.

A/N: I think this chapter is a bit dull, but I promise it gets better soon!

Masterlist

Unsurprisingly, no light filters into my room when I wake again the next morning, my eyes having to swiftly adjust to the shadowy sight before them as I sit up, rubbing at my scalp. A pounding headache has set in, thanks to the lack of sleep and the sheer amount of over thinking I did last night, my skull feeling as if it's about to explode as I swing my legs out from under the covers, knowing that I have even more planning and preparing to do if I want to survive long enough to see the end of the year. Stretching out the dull ache in my muscles, I check the watch on my wrist briefly to get an idea of the time: 4:23. Whether that is AM or PM, I have no idea yet, but I aim to find out, quickly grabbing my rucksack and jacket as I stand and leave the room, heading out into the main hall where the boys usually spend their nights.

Bright light streams in from the outside, indicating that it is 4:23 PM, illuminating the decrepit lobby in a new clarity I've not seen it in before, every piece of scattered rubbish given a new appearance. In the daylight, the whole place looks less sinister, and more like an abandoned antiques shop, the dusty bits and pieces casting odd shaped shadows onto the floor as the sunlight hits them from a certain angle, every dull colour suddenly highlighted more than usual. I have to blink a few times to allow my eyes to adjust, but they quickly do so, my gaze swiftly flicking around the looming room so that I can take it all in, a plan springing to my mind as I observe it all.

Silently, I get to work, dropping my bag on the fountain ledge and rummaging around in it, pulling everything out to lay it out in front of me so that I can properly see what I have. It's not much, but it's enough to satisfy what needs doing. Picking up the lightweight chains we are required to own, I grab some dirty old cans lying a little way away, the litter most likely the remains of a meal from sometime before, their rusted forms almost perfect for what I need them for.

Eyeing the brightly lit entrance, I take up a ball of string, too, and go over to it, stepping out onto the rickety walkway, examining the rugged wood with a critical eye as I walk out a little way, putting some weight in my step. Under each step, the wood moves slightly, the material having a light spring to it thanks to its age and exposure to the elements, which makes me frown slightly, hoping my plan will still work even though this is the case. Kneeling down, I measure out a length of string that runs the width of the walkway and use my knife to cut it to size. Setting it aside, I get to work on the chains, making six separate lengths with cans attached to them, each one of them rattling loudly as I shake them out experimentally. Smiling to myself, I connect one chain to the end of the piece if string, doubling it over itself for a better result, quickly doing the same on the other end of the string, weighting it down perfectly. I find a pair of small rocks lodged into the cliffside beside me and place them at opposing ends of the walkway, but not before I've scraped a small groove into their surfaces, where the string rests once I've set it up, hanging the chains over the sides of the walkway. The string sits an inch or so above the surface of the walkway, meaning it is easily tripped over, setting off the rudimentary alarm.

I repeat this twice more, leaving them at alternating distances from each other to provide a crude trap to alert anyone inside the cave of approaching intruders: when someone trips the string, the cans and chains will rattle loudly, signifying their approach. Absentmindedly, I hear a small voice in my head telling me that any SRS soldiers will be expecting this, and won't fall for such an amateur trap, quickly deciding that I need to work on something inside the cave, too, something more hidden.

Going back inside, I wipe some sweat from my upper lip, surprised at the heat of the day despite it being mid-October, my clothes sticking to me as I go back to my rucksack, trying to figure something else out. My eyes are quickly drawn to the grenades I have left. They won't work very well on humans, but the loud noise and subsequent explosion of mist will throw anyone off if caught up in it, meaning they are somewhat effective for this purpose.

Grabbing them, I take the string again and go to the entrance, making sure to set up two of the conveniently placed barrels of charcoal the boys use as braziers, setting them up a little way apart around the front of the cave. Going a little way ahead of them again, I place a seemingly random cardboard box face down on the floor, checking the layout once more, before measuring pieces of string again. Cutting them all to size, I tie one end of each of the length to the ring of a grenade, which I carefully loosen, hiding the two explosives under the cardboard box as I loop the string around the two barrels, pulling it tightly enough that it creates another tripwire across the entrance.

Sitting back, I look at my handiwork, noting that the string isn't too obvious and that the overall look isn't too bad. Cautiously, I pull the string taut again, knowing how tense it needs to be for this trap to actually work. Aware that this is now a near-fatal hazard for the four original residents of the cave, I make a mental note to warn them of the new trap before one of them accidentally trips it and gets a face-full of burning holy water.

Sighing, I go back to my rucksack and pick up the gun, checking the clip for rounds, annoyed to find it only about half-full, most of them having been used over the last few days, meaning it needs reloading. I check over the rest if my stuff, growling when I realise that I haven't got anymore bullets with me, leaving me with a pretty much useless weapon which will need reloading very quickly. Setting it down again, I quickly make a decision, going back out into the daylight and up to the cliff top, where I grab some of the random pieces of driftwood lying around, returning to the cave with an armfull of them. Tiredly, I drop them to the floor and sit down, pull in out my knife so I can start whittling them down - a skill every Hunter is taught is how to make wooden bullets, seeing as they are effective against both supernatural and natural creatures.

A small pile of bullets has steadily grown by the time the boys finally emerge from their sleep, the last rays of sunlight having dissipated an hour or so ago, my fingers sore from scratching the knife over the dry wood for so long, though it has paid off: I have enough to fill four or five clips, now. As they enter the room, I look up at them with a tired smile, glad to have some company now.

"Hey guys. Sleep well?" I greet them, waving slightly with the knife, my tone light despite the tension in my body.

"Mostly, yeah." Marko responds, coming over to me with the others, their brows furrowed as they see what I'm doing.

"What're you up to?" Dwayne questions, eyeing the bullets apprehensively.

"Making some more rounds for my gun. I didn't bring enough ammo, so I'm making my own." I explain, gesturing to the pile dismissively.

"Out of wood?" Paul interjects, looking genuinely curious.

"Yep. It's the only available material."

"That's...kinda cool, but also pretty worrying." The blonde vampire muses, dropping down beside me as he goes to pick one up.

"I'm not planning to use them in you guys, don't worry." I reassure them, rolling my eyes.

"Why do you need so many?" David asks, blue eyes appearing much darker in this light.

I shrug casually, finishing up the one I'm currently working on.

"In case the SRS comes knocking. Speaking of which, I've set up some traps by the entrance, so just be careful of them." I make eye contact with David, "One of them will be very painful if it's tripped."

He frowns a little, but nods in any case.

"Duly noted." The vampire licks his lips carefully, "I'm hungry, so I'm gonna head out and get something to eat. You boys coming?"

Marko and Paul eagerly agree, though Dwayne politely declines.

"I think it's a good idea if someone stays here with (Y/n), and I'm not that hungry so I'm happy to do that." The dark haired vampire explains, watching me for a reaction as I give him a confused look, surprised at the offer.

"You don't need to, Dwayne. I'm grateful for the offer, but I don't want to ruin your night..." I start, only to be cut off by him sitting down beside me.

"Don't worry about it, I'd rather stay here. Plus, maybe you can show me how to do that. It'd get the job done quicker with two people doing it."

"I guess. Thank you." I murmur, still surprised, trying to ignore the blush rising to my cheeks.

"No problem."

"Right, well, we'll be back in a few hours. Want us to bring you something back, Dwayne?" David cuts in, eyeing the two of us carefully.

"No, it's alright. I'll go out when you guys get back."

"Ok. See you two later." Without another word, the three vampires leave the room, the surrounding quickly lapsing into silence as Dwayne and I sit there.

"So, how do you carve these?" He finally asks, pulling a knife from the pocket of his jacket, his thumb running swiftly over the blade to test it's sharpness.

"Oh, it's pretty easy. Just copy me..." I run through the basic premise of what needs doing, the vampire easily picking it up, the two of us starting to produce a good amount of them between us.

Part Nine

[thehollowprince]

Penny Dreadful: City of Angels

Episode 1: Santa Muerte - Recap and Review

SPOILER WARNINGS ARE IN EFFECT BELOW THE CUT

The episode opens with a Mexican standoff (ba dum tsh) between Santa Muerte (Lorenza Izzo) and her “sister” Magda (Natalie Dormer), who seriously has to be roasting under the Southern California sun in that black leather outfit.  (Sidenote, how does a Mexican folk spirit/deity have a British woman as a sister?  Guess she was adopted.)  Anyway, Magda is monologuing, as villains tend to do, saying “All mankind needs to become the monster he truly is, is being told he can.”  They go back and forth for a minute, and I was eerily reminded of the movie Constantine that came out many moons ago.  Y’know the one, right?  Loosely (and I mean loosely) based on the comic character?  Played by Keanu Reeves?  That was the vibe I go here, with Santa Muerte and Magda making some kind of bet about the “worthiness” of mankind.  (I also got strong jealous ex vibes from Magda in this scene, but we’ll see how that goes).

So we start the action by showing a field of Mexican-American laborers working the fields with a little boy sitting on the truck, picking the music they listen to.  His father jokes about his choice of music before getting back to work.  Now I’ll be the first to admit that everything that played out next was just this side of tone deaf.  I understand that Magda is the villain here, and wants to see humanity burn, but having a white woman set fire to a field full of brown people, resulting in several deaths kind of defeats the message they’re trying to send with this show, but I will suspend my disbelief for a little while to see how all of this plays out.

All in all, it was a beautiful shot, as gruesome as it was, with the flames, and then seeing Santa Muerte cradling the boy’s father as he died in the flames all while La Llorona played in the background.  The boy tries to save his father, but Santa Muerte uses the Force to push him away, despite not even two minutes earlier claiming she “had no heart for the living”.  Must be something special about this boy.

Cut to 1938 and the boy is all grown up.  Tiago Vega (Daniel Zovatto) just passed his exam to become a detective, the first Chicano detective in Los Angeles.  His Mamá (Adrianna Barraza) prepared him a cake to celebrate the occasion, and we get to meet the rest of La Familia Vega.  First there’s Mateo (Johnathan Nieves), who is seriously adorable.  Next is Josefina (Jessica Garza), who is the baby of the family.  And then finally we get the big brother, Raul (Adam Rodriguez), who “mysteriously” isn’t a part of the main cast.

Anyway, Raul is not happy about his baby brother being a detective, given the Mexican and Mexican-American relations with law enforcement, which... valid.  He has a point.  But Mamá quickly shuts Raul down when he tries to be a Negative Nancy and they celebrate as a family.  Cut to later, and Mamá is walking Tiago to the bus, and they remark about the construction equipment at the end of the street.  Here we’re introduced to the main conflict of the story.  Their neighborhood is set to be demolished to make way for construction for the Arroyo Seco Parkway, the first of the LA freeways.  Mamá remarks about the machines, likening them to animals baring their teeth at her, before Tiago gets on the bus to go to his apartment, because he’s the only member of the family to move away from home.

By the way, I will never complain about the size of my apartment again after seeing how tiny Tiago’s is.

Cut to the next morning, where the phone rings, waking Tiago up, and it’s his new partner on the phone.  Congratulations!  You get to start two days early with no prep time.  Said partner, Detective Lewis Michener, is played by Nathan Lane like you’ve never seen him before.  And as an aside, just hearing him drop the F-bomb made my day.  The reason they’re starting early is because their was a homicide, and the captain himself called them specifically.  The murder is a family of four, dropped in the Los Angeles river bed, their faces painted in Dia De Muertos makeup.  Also, there’s a message scrawled nearby in blood (or red paint)

TE LLEVAS NEUSTRO CORAZON TOMAMOS EL TUYO 

“You take our heart, we take yours.”  If you haven’t guessed it by now, the hearts of the four victims had been removed.  This all ties back to the Arroyo Seco Parkway and how it’s planned to cut through the heart of the Chicano community.  Michener makes the connection as to why they were called, “It’s a spick thing.”  (Fair warning, that kind of language, while not super common in this show, isn’t exactly uncommon.)

Elsewhere, Mamá is getting off the bus in a fancy part of town, because she’s a maid to Peter Craft (alum Rory Kinnear), who is a German immigrant with two sons and a wife that looks a little strung out.  This scene is pretty filler, but it establishes the dynamic of Craft’s household, with him talking to Mamá before his own wife.  He leaves for work, listening to tape recordings in his car as a way to practice on getting rid of his accent to blend in and “be more American”  It was kind of adorable.

Back at the police precinct, Tiago got blood on his cuff from the crime scene and MIchener tells him to just throw the shirt out.  Que the racist cops who harass Tiago, because the audience needs to understand just how unwelcome a Chicano detective is among his all white peers.  The two visit their captain and discover that their four victims are a wealthy family from Beverly Hills, which judging by everyone’s reactions in the scene is a pretty big deal for some reason.  There was a horrible moment where the captain says “You have no idea how much I wished those bodies were Mexican” before he realizes who is in the room and adds a halfhearted “No Offense.”  I have to say, Tiago has way more patience than I do for shrugging it off.  The captain decides that it’s obviously Mexicans behind the murders and Michener suggests pachucos. 

Now we’re back with Craft, who is a pediatrician, and his current patient is the son of... Natalie Dormer... but now she’s blonde?  Elsa is concerned about her son Frank’s breathing problems and talks with the doctor privately about it, revealing that she’s also a German immigrant, originally from Berlin, “but now we’re in Boyle Heights, with the Jews” (seriously not a fan of how she said that, which I’m guessing is the point, but only time will tell).  There’s a moment between the two, with him offering her his handkerchief when she starts crying.  

After she leaves, we get one of the most disturbing scenes I’ve ever seen.  It takes a lot to unnerve me, but this scene unnerved me.  If you’re going into this show blind, let this be the moment when you find out that all the characters played by Natalie Dormer are all Magda, who shapeshifts into other people to further influence the negative emotions of those around her, bringing out the worst in humanity.  Well, “Elsa” enters the elevator with her “son” and unbuttons her blouse before placing his head against her stomach.  She absorbs him back into herself like some sort of weird reverse-birth, taking him “back to the womb” as it were.  It wasn’t overly graphic, but it unnerved me nonetheless. 

Back at the doctor’s office, one of his nurses asks what he wants for lunch and he says he’ll be going out.  He walks over to his closet and opens it, revealing a Nazi flag and uniform.  Abort!  

Abort!

At the city hall there is a meeting of the City Council, or some division of it involving transportation.  Its a meeting to discuss the Arroyo Seco Parkway, with almost everyone in attendance being Mexican, led, of course, by Tiago’s older brother Raul.  Gotta have that brother-against-brother angle.  The guy leading the meeting is some douchebag named Townsend (Michael Gladis).There’s a standoff between him and Raul over this parkway, with Townsend telling them to “go back where they came from”, which Raul responds rather cheekily to the fact that he was born in the Los Angeles County Hospital, same as him.

Raul: “When progress becomes barbarity, it ceases to be in the public interest.  We are the public, sir, no matter the color of our skin, and we will not be moved.”

Townsend: “Then you will be pushed.”

Naturally from there it ends in police brutality, with the cops on scene beating Raul with their clubs as they drag him from the city hall, despite it being open to the public.  And people wonder why no one likes the police? Although, I do love the fact that they made Raul so well-spoken.  Given how they’re presented as poorer, it would have been so easy to fall back on that illiterate Mexican trope, but they shied away from that, and I’m grateful.

After the meeting, Townsend is walking down the hall with Natalie Dormer by his side, this time as a gray-haired, middle-aged woman?  Man?  It’s unclear at first, until we get a wide shot and we see that she’s wearing a skirt with her masculine suit and tie combo, so definitely a woman.  Personally, I would have been okay if this persona - Alex - had been a man, but that’s just me.  Anyway, Alex is just feeding this blowhard’s ego, and he equates himself to Mussolini, and then Hitler (ABORT!).  The topic turns to more motorways, stuff to keep Townsend in the papers for some unknown purpose.

And we’re back to the Michener and Vega hour, where the two detectives are enjoying their lunch break when we hear drums and look up to see Nazis - I’m sorry, the German-American Bund - walking down the street in full regalia with Craft at their head.  Craft gives a big speech about staying out of foreign affairs (it’s 1938 and WWII is just about to start), saying “America First”.  Michener is giving them the stink eye and it’s at this point I remembered that he’s Jewish, so odds are he knows full well what the ideology behind the Nazi Party, even if their worst crimes are still ahead of them.

Michener insists they go, with the two heading over to Beverly Hills to investigate the home of the murder victims.  Inside there’s a portrait of who I thought was Joseph Smith above the fireplace, which I guess means these people were Mormons.  The radio, when turned on, is playing some Radio Evangelist (this is before Televangelism became a thing), and I think the woman preaching is the last member of our cast, Sister Molly (Kerry Bishé).  The two investigate the house and determine that the family wasn’t murdered there, though they do discover that the father was one of the guys behind the Arroyo Seco Parkway.

The plot thickens.

Cut to a shadowy meeting at the bluffs between Townsend and Baron von Strucker from the MCU.  Ugh, more Nazis.  The new Nazi talks to Townsend about getting him the position of Mayor of Los Angeles, to further their own agenda, and warns him that his driver is a Gestapo agent and has been told to shoot Townsend if the meeting does not go their way.

Later that night, we’re in downtown L.A., presumably in a Mexican-American neighborhood where Mateo works.  There’s some hanky panky going on in the store where he’s stocking shelves where some random dude and his sister, Josefina, are getting to second base.  Mateo puts the kibosh on that quickly, chasing the boy from the store while shouting obscenities, before arguing with this sister, until Mamá shows up and sets them both straight.  There’s a poignant moment between mother and son where he remarks about how as a Chicano, his options for the future are limited, that Tiago was the exception, not the rule.

Speaking of Tiago, he shows up to ask about Santa Muerte and if his mother had heard anything about something going on, as he recognized the face paint on the murder victims.  It’s revealed that he doesn’t believe in Santa Muerte, though his mother does and remarks about him being “marked”, revealing that he was the little boy from the beginning.  We all know that something bigger is going on, but Tiago is unconvinced, and this is the one time we see him and Mamá butt heads.  There’s a moment where the two calm down before we get a really cute scene of Tiago dancing with his mother.

That moment slides into a moment between Los Hermanos Vega, which starts nicely but ends up tense and serious, as they talk about the construction of the parkway to begin on Monday, which requires Tiago to be with the police but his brothers will be with the neighborhood.  I think they’re taking this brother-against-brother thing a little far.

Mamá is praying to Santa Muerte, begging for help, and Santa Muerte actually shows up, calling Mamá “Old Coyote” (I think).  The two argue, with the former mentioning a prophecy and the Vega matriarch begging for any kind of help because she wants to protect her children.  After Santa Muerte leaves, Mamá goes to Tiago’s apartment and implores him to try and stop the protest the next day, before chugging his whiskey.

As the episode started, that’s how we end it, with a Mexican standoff, this time between the police and the residents of Belvidere Heights.  Tiago hands his gun to Michener and tries to talk down his neighborhood, to avoid bloodshed, facing off directly with his brothers who are at the front of the opposing crowd, but unbeknownst to all of them, Magda is there (in her “true” form) pacing in front of the police.  She finds one officer and we see her whispering in his ear, which leads to him firing his gun, killing one of the protesters.  Gunfire erupts and chaos ensues, leading to a full blown riot.  Magda ends up whispering to Raul next and he takes a gun and starts shooting police officers, eventually aiming his gun at Michener.  In a heartbreaking moment, Tiago shoots his own brother to stop him from killing his partner, all while La Llorona is once again playing in the background.

All in all, I’d give the episode an 8/10.  It was a great start, introducing most of the key players involved and getting the conflict started right away, but there are still a lot of questions.  Also, there were too many Nazis in this for my liking.  I understand the point they’re trying to make, being a parallel to today, with Nazis being everywhere and no one batting an eye about it, but it’s still unsettling.

Can’t wait to see how this all turns out.

[creativenicocorner]

I...I hesitantly want to believe I’ll manage to have ch13 of Terpsichore out by the holidays, and perhaps typing this out into the world wide webbo will help will that into reality. Or maybe it won't - time will tell lol

In the meantime have a collection of disconnected and short Terpsichore sneak peeks:

//

Walter stared down in transfixed horror and shame, his hand hovering over her back, before slowly, hesitantly, rubbing her heaving back.

Walter Strickler squeezed her close as much as his strength allowed.

“Was it real? Was any of it real?” asked Barbara in a whisper so low, unable to look the changeling in the eye - hesitant to relinquish her lasting hold on the thin thread that tied them together.

“Every bit of it.” came Walter’s voice, this time without any sort of pause, with enough reassurance that broke Barbara’s heart and caused her to close her eyes with a blob of fresh tears.

“Walter” she said with a crack in her voice, the dreaded ‘End is Nigh’ in sights.

“It was,” admitted the changeling, holding Barbara close, “one of the most real experiences of my life. Yes it was real. Of course it was real. From being pushed out of your window, to watching Star Trek together, to you getting a bikini wax.”

Barbara gave a knee jerk laugh cry at that, sobbing a cackle into the changeling’s chest. “Oh my go- that’s right, you felt those?!” asked Barbara looking at Walter at last.

His face was warm, and gooey. Not the sort of face she’d ever expect to be an assassin, or some sort of part troll person.

With a gentle brush through Barbara’s hair Walter said, “Every strip.”

This caused Barbara another fit of laughter, fresh tears falling and reddening her cheeks. Streaks of tears fell into the creases of her pained smile. Barbara laughed and hated Walter more for being able to, even now, despite everything, make her laugh.

“Good.” she sniffed, rubbing her nose into his sweater. A final act of close familiarity shared, of held and being held.  

It ached how painfully easy it felt to slip into a sense of before - to warm idle chats with scones, and sitting side by side on a swing-set at the playground on the hospital grounds during her breaks. Though really, their chats were always warm, no matter the setting.

Mustering her strength Barbara pushed herself out of Walter Strickler’s embrace.

To Walter’s wordless, ‘you good?’ Barbara nodded with a sniff, and sat upright once more. Her spine felt cold though.

Then, after a delicate pause, scratching the side of his nose and watching Barbara sniffle, Walter reached into that near Mary Poppins level inside pocket of his, and pulled out a handkerchief for her.

The kind gesture burned at Barbara’s heart like a wild fire. It pained her to smile, nod, and take it.

“Do you still want me to kill Andrew Wakefield?” asked Walter Strickler, leaning to the side some to be at her eye level, but with still a bit of distance.

Barbara’s nose blowing sputtered into an escaped laugh. Dabbing her nose she bit her lip and closed her eyes. “That,” she said in her classic ‘more mad at how such a joke could make me laugh’ look Walter knew so well, and a wave of her finger. She tried with all her might to not be amused, “that’s not funny.”

“I have the connections.” he said, like a used car salesman trying to bribe a smile out of her.

“You’re probably over qualified.” she couldn’t help but snark in equal dryness. Then sighed, lowering her hands into her lap, “…I suppose you can kill him, hu?” she considered aloud.

Slowly, like an arctic wind she knew was in the forecast but hoped would just go away and be mistaken about, she realized, with a cold drain of blood and warmth from her features, the unforgivable as a mother.

“Then that means,” she said with disinfected coldness “it’s also true that you tried to kill my son.” with a look in her eyes that gazed into Walter Strickler’s like an obituary.

//

“Right.” said Vendel at last. He turned to Shuri and said, “Take her to Heartstone. I’ll have to inform the Trollhunter. Come on you.” he added with a click of his staff to the ground at Strickler - waking him from darker thoughts.  

Strickler knew he was walking, but it felt more like a distant experience, observed from elsewhere outside his body. He winced at the neon light of the main medical ward, but didn’t wait for them to adjust - instead he felt himself move toward Barbara’s direction.

Her pained simpers speared through his ears and dug at his heart.

Vendel’s staff intercepted the changeling, a sour faced and all.

Strickler didn’t have any quips left, the wind out of his sails. He had other things to care about. Leaning to the side, and with a hand floating up curl gingerly around the sling, he said, “A blanket. The..heartstone it’ll be warm, I suppose, if the staff felt warm to me, but…” Walter Strickler took a step back and croaked, “What have I done?”

Sympathy was not found in the old troll’s eyes, nor as he inhaled slowly through his nose. “Enough. I’d say you’ve done enough.”

The changeling didn’t move, but watched misty eyed as Shuri carried a groaning Barbara out a side door.

“A funny thing, consequence.” Sniffed Vendel. “You will have plenty of time to think of that soon - for now it is imperative the bond between you is broken.”

“What if the heartstone won’t work?”

“Changeling, are you listening?”

Walter’s mouth felt dry, his throat lumpy and in need of clearing, and yet he couldn’t bring himself to do so. “Gumm-Gumm magic. The bond is made by Gumm-Gumm magic…”

Vendel gave the changeling a look that was the closest to the trollish equivalent of a dryly delivered, ‘no shit Sherlock.’

Strickler continued, “I had Angor carve it into totems...what I’m saying is - they’re could be backfires - erm,” he paused to think of a better word, his fingers snapping quickly as if it’d help speed up his mental search “side effects.”

“Heartstone is more powerful than anything you, your kind, and your Gumm-Gumms could possibly divine. I have faith in it, and so should you.”

“What, cause my blood glowed? Sound thinking, that- sure. No further research needed - case closed - treatment : Glowing rock, side effects: hopefully tickety-boo.” to which Strickler crossed his fingers at Vendel and smiled gruesomely. “While we’re at it why don’t we rip out the entrails of a dead rat and see what the horoscope for the month will be, hm?”

Vendel looked down his nose at the changeling, and said nothing. Then with a tap of his staff and a gesture of his arm, had the changeling walk in front of him - where the Trollhunter and others were waiting.

//

It was during one of these moments that a pair of trolls hurriedly crossed to the other side of the road tugging at a child in hand. Unfortunately the child stumbled in Strickler’s path.

The trolls held their breath, as if anticipating a sort of bomb to go off.

Strickler slowly turned his head to look solemnly down at the young troll. Their eyes were wide. Their breath quickening in horror. Looking up into the face of the flesh and bone creature that had heavy unblinking eyes.  

But Strickler didn’t act, or move, or did anything - he just waited, either for the troll to pick themselves up, or for someone to help them up. He even took a moment to look at Blinky to see if he would do anything, but the troll seemed momentarily distracted with a bookseller.

When nothing happened Strickler sighed upward, unable to refuse his teacherly paternal like nature, and leaned leaned forward with an outstretched hand. The bare minimum, really.

The young troll flinched away, covering their face as if that would cast the pretend troll out of existence. They tried hard not to think about what it must feel like to walk with a soft outside and rocky inside - and she tried not to think about how strange this fleshy creature walked without a sound without rattling with the bones inside…surely bones rattled, right? Or were they more like trolls but with their insides stretched on their outside?

Curiosity getting the best of them, the child peaked through their fingers. Eyeing the offered soft hand with hairy knuckles.

“Are you inside out?” asked the little troll.

“Not presently, no.” said Strickler “But the future is full of possibilities.” and then he gave a small ironic sort of smile.

The little troll removed their hand from their face and, found themselves smiling in return. Then slowly…hesitantly…reached towards Strickler’s hand.

//

And onwards they continued. They moved discreetly through a winding stretch that became more desolate with every step, tented carpets, and around a wall of piled televisions which Strickler couldn’t guess the reason of it being there for the life of him. If the circumstances were different, he might have asked Blinky.

There were less neon signs near the stronghold, as if preserved in an area that found light and electrical currents moderately suspicious at best. Not that either Blinky or Strickler found this to be a problem, the slow decline of lights helped in favor to their eyes adjusting. Sharp greens and screaming purples and icy blueberry blues diminished - replaced by one tone browns, a splash of yellow, and perhaps the idea of orange.

The trolls guarding the threshold were at shoulder height the same size of an average moose, and frowned with the grace of a snarling gargoyle as they passed.

Here, none of the guards seemed surprised at the sight of the changeling. Their primary reaction being a tighter grip on their halberds, and a low growl that rippled bear like past their jagged yellow teeth.  

“Cheerful.” commented Strickler dryly, “Like being greeted by sadistic bellhops.”

“Show any sign of a trick, and I don’t think you’ll enjoy their version of asking for ‘a tip’.”

Strickler held his wounded arm closer to himself with a dry gulp, “Well, I give shoddy advice at best.”

“No not that kind of-!” Blinky turned and looked at the deceptively calm expression on his face - patient as an iceberg. Blinky’s frown deepened. “Oh, you’re joking.”

The changeling gave an ironic, serviceable bow.

//

And that’s probably it for sneak peeks until the chapter is released (maybe)

[lawleon]

An Analysis of Touhou - Cheating Detective Satori

What We Know So Far and Some Minor Speculation

If you haven't read the manga yet, I would encourage you to do so before reading this post as I will be writing about and speculating on all currently released chapters. Speculation is half the fun of a monthly mystery series like this and I feel like there’s enough meat available now to finally start talking about it so don’t spoil yourselves here and read it first. Chapter 7 came out today and the whole series can be found here.

So, a vengeful spirit huh? It feels like this type of ghost has been brought up quite regularly in Touhou ever since the geyser opened up a pathway to Former Hell during the events of Subterranean Animism. So far in windows canon their only confirmed appearance has been their use in Rin's spellcards, but they've been spoken or written about about in most print works by characters like Kasen and Akyuu who are some of our best in universe information sources. Vengeful spirits are ghosts that are capable of possessing others. While this trait isn't particularly harmful to humans, it can be fatal or quite disastrous to youkai if it causes them to take actions that go against how they are perceived by humans. However, observing the actions of the antagonist of Cheating Detective Satori leads me to believe that this vengeful spirit has no desire to do any lasting harm to those who she possesses. Thus far this vengeful spirit only seems interested in robbing the energy from some rather high profile targets, but her true motive or grudge remains to be discovered.

TIMELINE Let's take a look at the timeline in regards to the true culprit thus far:

(A known vengeful spirit escapes form Former Hell) (CDS Chap. 4.5, Pg. 4) The vengeful spirit finds its way into Marisa and then subsequently Marisa brings it into the SDM* (CDS Chap. 6, Pg. 17) (The vengeful spirit moves into Sakuya) (CDS Chap. 4.5, Pg. 5) The possessed Sakuya makes coffee for Patchouli, Patchouli drinks the coffee and is subsequently possessed and drained of energy by the vengeful spirit (CDS Chap. 4.5, Pg. 5) The possessed Patchouli comes to and finds an opportunity to tamper with Meiling's tea set (CDS Chap. 4.5, Pg. 2) Meiling made some tea for herself which allowed the vengeful spirit to swap from Patchouli to Meiling and drain her of energy (CDS Chap. 4.5, Pg. 3) (Marisa is the second individual to find the unconscious Meiling, this allows the vengeful spirit to possess Marisa and escape) (Completely inferred) The possessed Marisa makes her way to Hakugyokurou bearing a gift (CDS Chap. 4.5, Pg. 14) (CDS Chap. 6, Pg. 16) The possessed Marisa uses this alcoholic present to swap from Marisa to Yuyuko and drain her of energy (CDS Chap. 6, Pg. 16)

DIVERGENCE PATH A - 90% (The vengeful spirit repossesses Marisa and makes it's way out of the Netherworld) (CDS Chap. 6, Pg. 17) The possessed Marisa flees into the Forest of Magic when Satori arrives at the Hakurei Shrine (CDS Chap. 6, Pg. 15) Satori senses the vengeful spirit hiding within the Forest of Magic (CDS Chap. 7, Pg. 13) Arriving at Alice's house, the spirit finds a way to have Alice drink tea so that the vengeful spirit can drain Alice of her energy (CDS Chap. 7, Pg. 16 & 17)

PATH B - 10% The vengeful spirit flees into the greater Netherworld and hides among the other spirits (CDS Chap. 7, Pg. 9) Yukari uses her shikigami, Ran and Chen, to locate and surround the vengeful spirit (CDS Chap. 7, Pg. 10)

*  Speculation by Satori () Inferred events

I am placing more weight onto PATH A due to most these events being said, or learned via Satori's ability. Events in PATH B are coming from Team Yukari, and thus could be the result of inaccurate instructions issued to her shikigami.

To note, I have tried to back up the events in the timeline with statements from Satori herself, or learned via Satori's power. Thus far Marisa(the main vessel for the vengeful spirit) and Satori have yet to be together in the same room, when this finally occurs I assume that a large amount of information will be revealed.

FINDINGS In regards to the vengeful spirit there are three critical things we've learned. A) When possessing a youkai the vengeful spirit must do so via liquid ingestion (CDS Chap. 4.5, Pg. 7) B) The vengeful spirit can leave it's current target at anytime (CDS Chap. 4.5, Pg. 12) C) The vengeful spirit can hide within humans without controlling them (CDS Chap. 6, Pg. 17)

ASSUMPTIONS One thing that we are being led to believe, but have yet to be shown directly, is that the vengeful spirit can possess humans without using a liquid medium. The assumed possession of Marisa initially, the assumed swap from Marisa to Sakuya, and the assumed swap from Meiling back into Marisa are not shown. (Once again, Marisa is involved in all three of these assumed events.) Due to the harmful nature of vengeful spirits towards youkai a condition needs to be met to circumvent a possible natural defense. A human isn't in danger of having their existence disturbed in the same way a youkai would be, so the defense might not be present in humans.

NOTES AND SPECULATIONS First, if you weren’t already aware, Satori’s title in both Subterranean Animism and Symposium of Post-mysticism is “The Girl Even the Vengeful Spirits Fear“ so it looks like she’s going to finally show us how she got that title.

I originally wanted to write some analysis of CDS framed around the idea of ZUN using the fanon interpretation of Meiling being lazy as a massive misdirection in the first arc. Meiling in canon isn't just a lazy gatekeeper who naps frequently. She exercises in the morning, guards the gate, makes rounds around SDM, and does most of the gardening. When she slacks off she reads tengu published manga, and chats with those who come by the SDM giving off a rather positive impression of "that house filled with devils." While there are canon references to her napping on the job, that is not all that she is. Reducing her character to such a one note existence is quite sad in my opinion. So I thought it quite strange that Meiling was told by Rin that the detective can read minds (CDS Chap. 1, Pg. 20) and yet shows a shocked reaction when Reimu talks about Satori's power (CDS Chap. 2, Pg. 5) like she wasn't already informed.

However, considering that Patchouli is the first to "find" Meiling passed out in the flowers (yet doesn't even try to help her) (CDS Chap. 4.5, Pg. 3) it's most likely that Patchouli stops being possessed at this time, meaning any weirdness with Meiling is just due to Meiling being weird.

Even if that is the case there is one Meiling interaction I would like to point out. (CDS Chap. 2, Pg. 12-15) When Meiling brings down food for Sakuya and Flan, Sakuya remarks, "This soup is missing the shaved truffles.", "If you forget them, the mistress [Flan] will be mad." To which Meiling slams the door.

Flan goes on to state two pages later that she hates truffles. I wonder if this is an indicator of their speculated friendship that often appears in fanon works. Meiling knows that Flan doesn't like truffles so she has her soup made without them. Then again, the next time we see Flan she's gleefully choking the unconscious Meiling so who can say for sure. This is Touhou after all, and these are the two least developed SDM characters with actual names.

Now, for a bit of plot speculation. ZUN does like to hint at general trends and plots in his print works. Upcoming and past incidents are shown in minor manga plots quite regularly and we happen to have had quite a few incidents where the magical/spiritual/natural energy in Gensoukyou is manipulated, along with the most recent game involving animal spirits possessing our protagonists. This time we're dealing with a vengeful spirit, a soul with a longstanding grudge. Currently her motives and identity are a mystery, but she seems to want the magical energy present within powerful individuals residing in Gensoukyou for something. We haven't had many interactions with the vengeful spirit herself, and the exact point in time that she leaves Patchouli is up for debate, but it's not a good idea to trust Patchouli in general as a source of any factual information, the only times I'm willing to reference the things Patchouli says and remembers in the timeline is due to the presence of Satori. The only other time that a known possessed individual is spoken to is the conversation between Reimu and Marisa in chapter 6, however, immediately after Marisa bails it is revealed that the vengeful spirit has multiple modes of operation. (CDS Chap. 6, Pg. 17) "However we don't know if she's [Marisa] being controlled by it or not. Be careful not to get yourself possessed..." - Satori. The vengeful spirit might not have been in control for the conversation between Reimu and Marisa, but it will have knowledge of the conversation. It's my belief that the only time we've heard the vengeful spirit speak is after Patchouli wakes up at the end of chapter 2 through chapter 3. At some point after chapter 3 during chapter 3.5 the vengeful spirit switches to Meiling. During this time Patchouli steers the conversation she's apart of towards blaming Sakuya, in fact the first thing possessed Patchouli asks when she wakes up is "What happened", to which Remilia reveals to her everything allowing the vengeful spirit to mislead the cast.

There are still a few too many questions to rule anything conclusive, but one thing I want to know is if the vengeful spirit can hold off draining a magical existence of their energy upon first contact or if that's just a set rule. Satori has confirmed with Meiling that the spirit can just leave whether the victim is conscious or not. Satori has also confirmed that the spirit can hide within a human target without rendering them unconscious. Can those attributes be combined? To possess a magical entity and control them before draining them of energy?

The thing I'm most looking forward to is having Satori and Marisa in the same room. I feel like quite a bit will be revealed if Satori has the opportunity to read Marisa's mind.

DUMB FINAL THOUGHTS Alice hasn't had any speaking lines in over a decade, is ZUN going to continue that trend by having her be the mouthpiece of the vengeful spirit instead of being able to speak her own thoughts? If the magic circle in Alice's book is being used to generate heat for her stove-top why is the same magic circle on the floor of the SDM atrium? Is Youmu purposely avoiding learning anything about vengeful spirits because she's afraid of ghosts? DID SATORI DRINK THAT GLASS OF WATER FROM RIN AND GET POSSESSED AT THE END OF CHAPTER 7???

Thanks for reading.

[drink-n-watch]

  Let me tell you something, Montreal only exists in wave and snaps. Heat waves and cold snaps. That’s it. OK, here are maybe 4 days in October which are quite nice but the rest of the time… waves and snaps. We are currently in the former although I don’t think I have any right to complain considering what’s happening in Europe. But it’s all good when you have a cool anime to chill with on the weekend! How has your week been Crow? (Crow is bold, like brass!)

  So I’m brassy bold? I like that! I’m going through a wetter than typical Ohio summer, which means 90+ (Fahrenheit — I know, we’re behind the times here in the States!) and humidity that exceeds the theoretical maximum! But your point about Europe is well-taken! No complaints here!

  Let’s jump into it, shall we?

here we go

As you may recall, last week ended on Tanjiro interrupting Boar Boy as he was about to skewer Zenitsu for protecting Nezuko’s box. We got the few last seconds of episode 13 as an opening tag to get us in the mood and I must say, a bloodied Zenitsu desperately holding onto the box may just be my spirit animal!

I love your summary! Great word economy and it got me all caught up!

After the opening credits, we finally get the payoff to Tanjiro’s lunge and it was impressive. You could really feel that impact…for about half a second. Boar Boy is brash and difficult to take. He’s a violent dumb caricature that seems to be played for laughs, but when you are actively attempting to murder most of the main cast (in a series that has not been shy about killing off people), it’s not as funny as it could be. 

This said I liked the fight.

I want to be like him when I grow up

After having a few bones broken by Tanjiro’s punch and listening to a speech about how Demon Slayers don’t draw swords against each other, Boar Boy takes the most direct approach possible and decides to attack Tanjiro bare handed right then and there. There was a slight subversion of expectations at the beginning as Boar Boy seems utterly unphased, even unbothered by the situation, simply switching from one sparring partner to another. This made the character more interesting to me.

Moreover, the fighting choreography was beautiful. Boary has an unorthodox low fighting style that incorporates a lot of leg sweeps, kicks and impressive flexibility. Paired with ufotable’s great animation, it was just fun to watch. Which is good, cause this fight lasted a while. Did you enjoy it as well?

I did, for the same reasons you mentioned. I liked how it showed Tanjiro with a little more inner conflict than usual — he didn’t want to fight, but he was still really steamed about what Boar Boy tried to do to Nezuko. Also, we got another example of Tanjiro analyzing his opponent’s style and trying to adapt. I love those little insights. 

good time to have this type of discussion

Right at the end of the fight we finally get a Boar Boy reveal. We see his face I mean. Everyone in the show says he looks like a girl but I would not have noticed. Did he seem feminine to you Crow?

Honestly, no. Maybe I’ve seen Working!! too many times (remember how Souta Takanashi often had to dress as a woman to keep from triggering the crazy training Mahiru Inami’s dad had given her? Guess I kinda got used to the idea that features aren’t binary!), but he just looked like he had delicate features. I loved Tanjiro’s reaction to Boar Boy’s challenge asking if they had a problem with his face. “”We don’t have a problem with your face! It’s quite petite, fair-skinned, and therefore attractive!”

Could he be any more diplomatic? I think Tanjiro is weaponizing “nice,” which we see several times later in this episode! 

imagine him with a red shag and receiving hairline…face is pretty much the same as Tanjiro’s non?

For all intents and purposes, Tanjirou wins the fight and we have a few quiet moments as Zenitsu, Tanjiro and the kids make good on their promise to bury the victims as Inosuke (Boar Boy) recovers.

I thought it was sweet how both Tanjiro and Zenitsu used their kimonos as makeshift bedding for Inosuke. 

It really showed their character, didn’t it? Despite the beating Inosuke tried to give them, they still didn’t want to leave him lying unprotected on the ground. I’m warming up to Zenitsu more and more in this episode! Of course, we expect that level of consideration from Tanjiro. 

As soon as Inosuke wakes up though, he goes straight back to aggressive jerk mode, demanding to fight everyone. It’s here that we get the origin to what becomes a running joke throughout the episode (and I suspect the series). Namely, Inosuke almost obsessively trying to taunt Tanjiro into lashing out just to have the latter respond with oblivious kindness and compassion.

dude, the kids are worried about YOU

Sure that’s in line with Tanjiro’s character, but when you have small traumatized children and *Zenitsu* embarrassed for you, you may want to take a step back!

Even as I laughed at Tanjiro’s reaction, I had to wonder if nice raised to the level of obliviousness is a self defense mechanism? Or is there a small piece of Tanjiro that realizes how incensed his niceness is to Inosuke?

Since Tanjiro won’t fight him, Inosuke decides to headbutt threes at full speed instead, something else he will be doing for the rest of the episode. I’m not sure if this is a long-standing habit of Boar Boy’s or he is simply trying to toughen up his skull since Tanjiro won by headbutt.

Not sure that fracturing his skull will in any way toughen it! And besides, Tanjiro’s forehead apparently had Legendary Hardness(™). I really don’t think Insouke is going to be able to catch up!

good call!

Before they can finish properly giving their respects to the dead, Tanjro’s crow shows up and tells them it’s time to leave the mountain, which they do. Along the way, the kids decide to head home, leaving the three Demon Slayers on their own and oh boy….

Zenitsu goes back to being overzealous in his fantastic fear of everything, only now, he has a loud obnoxious character in the background. On more than one occasion Tanjiro looked like he just wanted to beat them both up right then and there. With everything that’s happened so far, I think this is the first time Tanjiro truly regretted joining the Demon Slayer corp!

Tanjiro’s expressions reminded me of a day care worker on their 12th hour of the day. Just ready to go home and sleep, but the screaming children still need to be supervised! 

I bet those kids were happy to leave

In a bit of almost ex machina luck, it seemed the three of them had been close to a private estate to serves as a Demon Slayer sanctuary due to an old family debt. And so, our three stoo… slayers now have a place to rest and heal up before continuing their adventures.

I see how you almost slipped there! Kinda thought the same thing myself. One saving grace? I think the Crow was leading there (always trust Crows — we’re innately trustworthy as a matter of professional pride!), so I don’t think it was random. 

However, the Crow leading them somewhere pleasant? I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop!

And that’s pretty much it. A series of shenanigans take place as all three boys show comical extremes of their personalities. It was like an intermission or a random slice of life episode thrown in and I have to admit…I didn’t really like it.

sorry

When you exaggerate them like that Zenitsu is annoying and Inosuke is obnoxious, while Tanjiro is just kind of boring. I wouldn’t call it awful, but it was my least favourite episode so far. And the backstory and development we get on Inosuke were so basic that they could have skipped it all together without much consequence. But you are usually a fountain of positivity, what did you think Crow???

No pressure! If I had to rank these first 14 episodes, this one would likely be at the bottom. What kept Inosuke from being a complete chariature was how Tanjiro’s weaponized politeness gradually wore him down. Before dinner, for example, Boar Boy was on the constant attack. At dinner, he even snatched foot right off of Tanjiro’s plate and obnoxiously chewed it right in his face! When Tanjiro offered him another bowl of food, saying Inosuke must be really hungry, I expected Boar Boy to slap away the food. Instead, he just glowered. That’s progress!

The TL;DR version: Tanjiro’s Legendary Kindness(™) might just transform Inosuke.

we got some fanservice though…

It’s really the last minutes that brought what I’ve been waiting for, for a few weeks now. Nezuko’s glorious and adorable return. I was so thrilled to see her. And just before she got back, there was a quiet and touching moment between Tanjiro and Zenitsu. It was lining up to be the best scene in the episode and… Zenitsu completely ruined it again.

He wasn’t very easy to follow but I think he was implying that Tanjiro joined the Demon Slayer Corp so that he could get a cute demon girlfriend and carry her around with him which is a weird conclusion to jump to, at best… 

But it’s the kind of conclusion a male of Zenitsu’s temperament would jump to! In high school, within my group of friends, if one of them managed to get a girlfriend, the rest would hassle him about it. Heck, look at Issei Hyoudou’s friends from High School DxD! They caught one glimpse of him with Rias Gremory and threatened him with bodily harm!

But you’re absolutely right: Seeing Nezuko emerge from the box was a beautiful moment. Given how terrified Zenitsu was of the opening box, when she emerged looking all adorable and stuff, all I could think was “Behold the terrifying demon! Tremble in her presence!”

In a wildly sarcastic way, of course.

boys are weird…

As it stands my favourite scene is the opening tag, which was a recap of the last episode so that should tell you something. I’m going to pretend that was a recap episode and just move on to the next one. On the upside, it still looked great!

Reviews of the Other Episodes

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu No Yaiba Episode 01: Cruelty

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu No Yaiba Episode 02: Trainer Sakonji Urokodaki

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu No Yaiba Episode 03: Sabito and Makomo

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu No Yaiba Episode 04: Final Selection

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu No Yaiba Episode 05: My Own Steel

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu No Yaiba Episode 06: A Friend fo All Humans

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu No Yaiba Episode 07: Muzan Kibutsuji

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu No Yaiba Episode 08: The Smell of Enchanting Blood

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu No Yaiba Episode 09: Temari Demon and Arrow Demon

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu No Yaiba Episode 10: Together Forever

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu No Yaiba Episode 11: Tsuzumi Mansion

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu No Yaiba Episode 12: The Boar Bears Its Fangs, Zenitsu Sleeps

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu No Yaiba Episode 13: Writers are A Pain

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I’m liking slideshows lately…

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba Episode 14: You Need To Calm Down! Let me tell you something, Montreal only exists in wave and snaps. Heat waves and cold snaps.

[the-far-bright-center]

eventually, even stars burn out

“Sometimes there are things no one can fix.”

Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve become increasingly concerned that my days in the SW fandom (or at least, the tumblr side of it) may be numbered.

I very much hope I’m wrong about this. So, on the slight chance that it might help somehow, I’ll try to explain why I feel this way right now.

As most of you know, I have an extremely fraught and complicated relationship with Disney’s so-called ‘new canon’ material, which all began when TFA left me so heartbroken that I’ve been unable to trust anyone at all with Star Wars ever since. I struggle to believe that the Skywalker saga will ever be treated with the adequate respect and care that it requires, and I fear that new material will only attempt to further erode its original mythic meaning....just so the ‘story’ can be continued on indefinitely. It is therefore difficult if not impossible for me to be excited about ‘new canon’ content, because ever since TFA I view every single piece of SW media released by Disney with (imo warranted) mistrust and skepticism.

After a certain SW animated series ended earlier this year, I had thought I would finally be free from the strain of constantly worrying about ‘new’ content. My blacklists covered most of the major things I didn’t want to see, and tumblr’s filter feature seemed to take care of the rest. It still took some careful navigating not to run into sequels-related crap and other random shit, but it was not impossible. I’d breathed a sigh of relief, and carried on minding my own business, living in my SW happy place where the things that distressed me didn’t exist.

But then some news broke, and suddenly, my hard-won calm was shattered. It felt like someone had kicked the heart right out of me. My carefully constructed safe space felt safe no longer. I’d thought the PT and TCW era would be safe from Disney, at least for a while. But I was wrong. It was like all the faint hope I had left for my ability to withstand the current Disney!SW onslaught fled from me in a single instant, and have been in a state of anxiety, depression, and despair ever since.

I’ve been so scared, because the last time I felt this despondent was after TFA, when I honestly thought I would never feel anything warm and light and beautiful about Star Wars ever again. And it ended up taking me YEARS to move beyond that, and to reclaim my feels and to get into the headspace I needed to be in to truly enjoy it again.

And I just... don’t know if I have that kind of energy anymore. The last three years have taken a huge toll (in RL I mean, not just in fandom). On top of my seemingly never-ending mental health struggles, I’ve had some physical ailments that went un-diagnosed for a long time and for which I’m only just starting to receive treatment. I’m always tired, mentally, physically, and emotionally. All of this makes the prospect of going through that same process all over again seem daunting, if not completely impossible.

Because back then, after TFA, when I felt that I’d ‘lost’ the Original Trilogy, I still had other places to turn. I was able to go back in time, and re-ignite my passion for SW again by re-watching the PT and TCW. But now? will those be taken from me too? have they already? is too late ?

(Have I just been delaying the inevitable, all this time?)

Horrible thoughts like this keep coming into my mind. Despite this, I haven’t given up totally...not yet. I’m still hanging on, or at least ...trying to. But in the midst of all this, I’ve been attempting to figure out what exactly is going on here. Why do these things upset me so badly that it causes me such intense emotional reactions? To the point that I can hardly converse with friends online anymore, without fear what they will say? To the point that I can’t even talk to my (very supportive) husband about Star Wars anymore without freaking out about spoilers?? To the point that I even end up feeling suicidal at times? Why does it feel like my whole world is collapsing?

Maybe it’s as simple as the fact that, when I was growing up, ‘Star Wars’ was always, from as long as I can remember, something that was ‘finished’. Complete. It was over. And its completeness was a source of comfort to me from the start. Here was a story that contained darkness and struggle, but which had an ending. And an uplifting, mythic, and spiritual one, at that.  And even later, when I was a teen and in my early 20s during the release of the Prequels, it was still something that had an end in sight. From the beginning of the PT, we knew that once those three episodes were over, the saga would be complete.

And that’s just the thing. With Disney’s Star Wars, there is no end in sight. It is something that, for all intents and purposes, could be dragged on indefinitely. And that thought is terrifying enough to make me start feeling panicky all over again. Years and years of feeling like this, all the time?? Dear Force, make it stop. D:

It’s becoming clear to me that it’s not just about one particular piece of media that I want to avoid. It’s not just the fact that something so close to my heart has at times been treated disrespectfully or even threatened with annihilation, and that I’ve felt helpless to prevent it. It’s not about my various and sundry issues with Disney’s version of SW. It’s not even that I believe that all of Disney’s SW output is inherently ‘bad’ or bound to be terrible just because it’s under the brand of Disney. I mean, I’ve been willing and able to ignore the aspects of ‘new canon’ that I loathe, and pick and choose from the bits that I do enjoy (which are few and far between, but do, occasionally, still exist). And law of averages would suggest there would have to be some decent or even, gasp, quality content at times (see: Rogue One, for instance).

So what, then, is *really* causing me so much pain and anguish on an almost daily basis? What is making my continued attempts to be part of the ‘fandom’ feel so incredibly futile?? It’s not the additions to canon themselves, but rather the frequency and sheer number of them, along with the fandom reception of these potentially infinite ‘additions’ that are causing me so much turmoil.

In the years since TFA, I’ve attempted to deal with this by viewing Disney’s ‘new canon’ as just another version of an Expanded Universe—in other words, as something optional that is not required in order to understand and appreciate the original, and that only needs to ‘exist’ in my mind and as a part of my headcanon if I wish it to. So, despite how much some of this material hurts me on a personal level, and despite the fact that the sheer amount of it makes it difficult to navigate around, up til now I’ve been able to continue as at least a semi-functional SW fan in its wake.

But lately, I’m beginning to be concerned that this method is not an adequate way of dealing with this. Because, even though *I’m* perfectly capable of ignoring the ‘new canon’ material that I don’t want to see, my need to ignore it makes it almost impossible for me to interact with 99% of the rest of the fandom.

And without interaction, a major component of fandom itself is missing. And it’s that sense of isolation and alienation that is killing me.

While tumblr as a platform has changed the face of online fandom for many (and made it unrecognizable to me in so many ways), I am still very old school in that I believe that the main purpose of fandom is to a) enjoy what we love to the nth degree, b) share what we love with each other, and c) through discussion about our shared fictional passions, create transformative fanworks, such as fanfiction, fan art, edits, fan vids, metas, etc.

This may seem like I’m stating the obvious, but unfortunately for a vast majority on tumblr, “fandom” has become less about the above, and far moreso about keeping up with actors’ and creators’ social media accounts, using fiction as a platform for ‘performative’ social justice in which people show off how ‘woke’ they are, and, worst of all (for me), constantly fixating on announcements, trailers, and news about ‘the next big thing’. It seems like, for many fans, speculation about upcoming releases is more important than enjoying the content that already exists. It’s what they LIVE for. And the minute those new pieces of media appear, everything else that came before is just... forgotten, or cast aside, in favour of it. This leaves me feeling like I’ve been left in the dust. Because, for me, the mere idea of ‘the next big thing’ fills me with nothing but extreme anxiety, depression, panic, as though I have a giant black hole in the pit of of my stomach. I live in utter DREAD of SW news. So my ability to relate to other fans and to interact with them on any meaningful level has greatly diminished due to this factor alone.

In a smaller fandom, where announcements maybe happen once or twice a year at most, I can often weather it. For example, several years ago, I left a fandom for a certain popular tv series, but remained semi-active just for the sake of one particular ship from it that I still loved. I was able to avoid most news and spoilers because it was just one show with one season per year, and that was it. But with SW in its current form, with Disney’s need to pump out new content on what seems like an almost weekly or even daily basis, it’s becoming too much for me to bear.

As I said in a previous post,

 “.....one of my many problems with Disney’s current treatment of Star Wars is that there is such a thing as ‘too much canon’. In the days of the EU, it didn’t matter how much of that was released, because any and all of it could be dismissed at a given time, because it was never official canon. But nowadays, EVERY DAMN THING has a film, book, show, comic series, animated short, video game, etc. about it. And this actually angers and distresses me, because it begins to leave less and less room for headcanons and for fans’ imaginations to run free. When there is SO much ‘official’ canon that it covers all the backstories and little ‘in between moments’, where is the freedom for writing fic and just…imagining things? Star Wars is not Marvel-verse, and should not be treated as such. Not all canon is (or even SHOULD BE) considered  ‘equal’, and this is something that, in pre-Disney times, was understood and respected. The main saga films were canon. That was it. The rest of it fell into various gradations of ‘sub’-canon. And imo, that is how it should, ideally, still be.” 

To have constant ‘additions’ to a canon that is as long-established as Star Wars feels completely disingenuous to me. So each time something new is announced, it feels like a breaking of the fourth wall. A chipping away at my ability to continue *believing* in Star Wars. It feels like someone keeps bursting into a completed story to try to mansplain it to me, saying, ‘ha, just kidding!! it’s been 30 years, 20 years, 10 years, 5 years (etc) that you’ve loved this and believed in this, but ACTUALLY the story is not REALLY over! look over here, we want to make money off you so we’re pretending the story is continuing even though it’s fake and forced!! haha!!!’  

Most of my Star Wars ‘feels’ are predicated upon a very simple premise, and that is the fact that the Skywalker saga (aka the PT and OT), AS IT EXISTS IN ITS ORIGINAL STATE, is the story of Anakin Skywalker, and that it is a complete and coherent myth, and an ultimately uplifting and redemptive tale. Everything I love about Star Wars comes back to Anakin Skywalker, his cosmic role as the Chosen One, and his eventual redemption. The fact that he, through the power of his son’s unconditional love, returns to his True Self, breaks free of his chains and sacrifices himself for his loved one, setting himself and the galaxy free. Everything depends on it, and revolves around it. My love of Anakin and Padme, my love of Obi-Wan and Anakin. My love of Snips and Skyguy, my love of Luke and Vader. My love of the Skywalker family, and their entire PT and OT storyline. And of course, my love of Anakin himself.

And what is more, all of the above is likewise dependent on the fact that the OT generations’ tale is an unequivocally heroic one, and that its heroism is complete and lasting, on both familial and galactic scale. It is not something left unfinished for the subsequent generation(s) to ‘complete’. The original saga as *I* know it does not require the ‘next generation’ in order to make it truly heroic. As I’ve mentioned elsewhere, the tragedy of the Prequels is completely redeemed by the end of Return of the Jedi. It is NOT carried forward as some kind of ‘curse’ onto the next generation. The Skywalkers are representative of the state of the galaxy, and, through Anakin and Luke’s story in the OT, both they and the galaxy itself are  reconciled and made whole again once and for all. That is the entire point of the Chosen One prophecy, and of the metaphysical, galaxy-freeing role that redemptive love plays in the (original) Skywalker saga. If that seems ‘unrealistic’ to contemporary audiences, well, you know what?? Too freaking bad!! Star Wars is not supposed to be ‘realistic’, it’s supposed to be a MYTH.

Take that away, and there IS no Star Wars for me.

And yet, that is exactly what TFA attempted to do. It attempted destroy this basic long-held truth, and with it my ability to love and feel even anything remotely positive about Star Wars,  its story, and its characters. And so it is understandable, I would hope, that ever since then I would greet new ‘additions’ to the original canon with extreme mistrust, skepticism, and even outright despair.

But despite my (imo) perfectly legitimate and justifiable reasons for feeling this way, I still realize that having such, erm, extreme reactions to even the mere prospect of new or additional content is not ‘normal’. ‘Normal’ fans are happy when they get new ‘canonical’ content right?? Unfortunately, I am not and will likely never be able to be a ‘normal’ fan in this way. When it comes to Star Wars, I will never be able to feel even the remotest bit of excitement for any such new canon content. (Which, in this case, more often than not simply means ‘officially sanctioned by a giant corporation, created under a set of confusing, disjointed, and entirely arbitrary standards, and deemed permissible for you to consume and ‘believe in’ as a real version of characters and events’, but I digress...).

Everything I love and understand about Star Wars existed before Disney ‘did’ anything to it, and everything that I still value about Star Wars to this day is likewise not dependent on whatever Disney might try do to it in the present or future. But even though I know this on an intellectual level, whenever there is new content coming out, it nonetheless still feels like a mortal threat, looming on the horizon. It feels like it’s going to try to take away everything I love all over again. And I fall into despair because I honestly lack the strength to fight it.

(Or at least, I lack the strength to fight it alone.)

And so unfortunately, from my perspective (even though I know that of course people don’t intend it to come across this way), when other fans get so excited about the new stuff, and when it seems like they so readily just accept it without question, it ends up leaving me feeling as though I’ve been left behind. As though what *I* love is, in their eyes, not enough. That somehow, the original Skywalker saga is not enough. That loving Lucas-era canon, but not Disney’s, is just me limiting myself or ‘missing out’ somehow. Whereas, from my perspective, the original material IS ‘enough’. It feels complete. It IS complete. Believing it’s not complete seems to me to be exactly what Disney wants people to think, so they can justify all of their never-ending additions, re-writes, retcons, and continuations.

And thus every time Disney churns out more content, and I see people around me acting like this content is not just a fun (and entirely optional) addition, but is rather something essential that all fans ‘deserve’ and need (despite having been perfectly fine without it for years, if not decades), just makes me feel even more alienated than I already do. Again, it’s not merely the existence of the constant stream of ‘new’ content that is killing me, but rather the fact that this content is greeted with elation by what seems to be the majority of fans these days. Yeah I know this makes me sound like I’m just resentful and bitter that other people are happy. Please know I don’t begrudge others’ happiness. Rather, I’m just struggling with the fact that while others are excited, I cannot be, thus leading me to feel isolated and left out.

But since the last thing I want is to rain on anyone’s parade, I try to be sensitive to this. Other than my various early anti-TFA rants (which I got out of my system years ago), for the most part (with the occasional exception), I’ve been keeping mum on these matters. But more often than not, in order not to be a source of negativity to others, I just end up hiding away, not talking to anyone, retreating further and further within myself  to the point that I wonder what I’m even doing here anymore.

The level of pain and anxiety and stress that all of this—from the constant stream of new content, to fans’ reception of it, to my own desperate attempts to avoid and ignore it—causes me cannot be adequately summed up in just a few words. I struggle to convey how I feel to most people because I honestly don’t know how to explain it. I feel ridiculous for even writing it down. It sounds so silly when I type it out, even though in my heart and mind, this is a very real and debilitating issue. Every time something new is announced, I become sick to my stomach, I can’t eat or sleep, I have intrusive, racing thoughts, and I feel that I have to hide out for days, weeks, or even months. I have to limit who I can talk to, and WHAT subjects I can talk to them about. And each time, it begins to feel more and more futile to even bother trying to avoid everything. Like trying to swim upstream, or to remain upright in a tidal wave. It is a constant onslaught, and I’m not sure how much longer I can weather it.

(Yes, there are some underlying mental health issues going on here that no doubt contribute to things on some level. However, it’s a complicated situation, because for many years I have been turning to fandom as a sort of therapy for myself. My most beloved fictional universes, characters, relationships, and stories are a safe-space for me, a refuge I can retreat into when my existence becomes unbearable. A coping mechanism. I don’t use that term lightly either... some days, it literally keeps me alive. And so when that coping mechanism feels like it’s being ripped away, my downward spiral into the abyss is terrifyingly swift indeed. But this is an extremely personal matter, which I won’t go into any further here, because I don’t want to diminish the topic at hand, which is a legitimate and very real struggle of mine, and is something that affects me regardless of the state of my mental health at a given time.)

Just to be clear, I’m not trying to worry anyone. I’m not planning on going anywhere just yet, and hopefully not for a while. This blog is too important to me. The people I’ve met here are too important to me. Star Wars, such as it exists in my heart, is too important to me. Despite the fact that I’m struggling emotionally, and despite the fact that it’s increasingly difficult for me to find content for this blog, I have been determined not to abandon it, and have made sure that I have a queue ready for the days when I don’t feel up to posting.

That being said, I do feel the need to be honest here about just how much of a struggle it has been to hold on, and just how alienated I have felt from so much of what is considered the normal fandom experience. And to express my anguish and despair over the fact that I can never, ever be innocently excited about new content being released in this Disney era. Doesn’t matter what it is, or who makes it. Ever since TFA, I am simply unable to ever feel happy that it even exists in same world that I inhabit. And this makes me fear for my longevity in a fandom that seems to thrive on the very thing that I abhor most and that fills me with constant dread.

While I’m uncertain these days as to whether ‘happiness’ is even possible for me in this physical existence, I do feel that my fandom experience ought to be, at the very least, a source of comfort. But as more and more of my SW safe-spaces are eroded, as more and more words must be blacklisted, as more and more tags become ‘off limits’ to me, I have fewer and fewer corners of this fandom to which I can turn.

I wish things were not like this. I wish *I* were not like this. It would be so much easier if I could just be happy like everyone else. But sadly, it seems that when it comes to being able to participate in and enjoy SW fandom in its current form, something in me is fundamentally, irreparably, broken.

What I hope to accomplish by writing and posting this, I’m not entirely sure. Obviously, I am not trying to make anyone feel bad for enjoying what they enjoy. Nor am I even seeking ‘validation’ on this matter. Because, while there are no doubt others out there who feel similarly (and *big hugs* to them if they do), I am not actually looking for commiseration or to ‘wallow’ in misery at this time. For some reason that just makes things a hundred times worse. Because...I’m still trying to hold out hope that even someone as damaged as myself can nonetheless continue to love Star Wars and even be part of an active online community.

So for now, I just needed to get this off my chest in the hopes that maybe, just maybe, by doing so, I can find a way back from this.  

[aconboyfiction2019]

Moving Image and Fiction - Initial thoughts on Monsters

17/01/2020

The Definitions of both fiction and Reality

The current module is on the differences between fiction and reality, and how we perceive both definitions and meanings. To get an idea on what I plan to do, I think it would be a good idea to look up the definitions of “fiction” and “reality”.

Fiction

noun

noun: fiction; plural noun: fictions

  1.

literature in the form of prose, especially novels, that describes imaginary events and people.

 2.

something that is invented or untrue.

"they were supposed to be keeping up the fiction that they were happily married"

https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-d&q=fiction+meaning

 1a : something invented by the imagination or feigned specifically : an invented story … I'd found out that the story of the ailing son was pure fiction. — Andrew A. Rooney

b : fictitious literature (such as novels or short stories) was renowned as a writer of fiction

c : a work of fiction especially : novel Her latest work is a fiction set during the Civil War.

2a : an assumption of a possibility as a fact irrespective of the question of its truth a legal fiction

b : a useful illusion or pretense it was only a fiction of independence his mother gave him; he was almost totally under her power— G. A. Wagner

3 : the action of feigning or of creating with the imagination She engaged in fiction to escape painful realities.

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/fiction

Reality

Reality: noun

Plural: realities

Definition of reality

1 : the quality or state of being real

2a(1) : a real event, entity, or state of affairs his dream became a reality

(2) : the totality of real things and events trying to escape from reality

b : something that is neither derivative nor dependent but exists necessarily

3 : television programming that features videos of actual occurrences (such as a police chase, stunt, or natural disaster) —often used attributivelyreality TV

in reality

: in actual fact

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/reality

  What fiction and reality mean to me

My definition of fiction is the creation of stories and how people might embellish the truth with it. Reality means how life is objectively rather than subjectively.

There are many examples of films that showcase real life events through fictional elements for symbolism or emotional provocation. Even the truest documentary such as Amy (Asif Kapadia, 2015) have elements such as non-diegetic music and narration to heighten audience reactions more than showing a fully realistic portrayal.

On Thursday the 13th this month, a new teacher, while introducing us to the module, talked about archetypal stories that are passed down through the ages and retold in varies ways, such as fairy tales: one of these examples is Little Red Riding Hood. It was originally written to warn of men who take advantage of young, innocent women, written by the Brothers Grimm. The evil man is changed into a wolf and the happy ending of the woodcutter killing the wolf and saving the grandmother and Red Riding Hood has only been recently added (the original tale ended with them devoured). Stories that most people recognise (such as the aforementioned Little Red Riding Hood) are adapted in various ways so that the stories follow the same beats as the original with some twists thrown in, a good example being Into The Woods.

This is also the same with adaptations and pieces of media that switch around details and deconstruct fairy tale tropes and others. I can remember such an example being Mr Wolf’s Pancakes, where the Big “Bad” Wolf is casted as the hero of the story as is bullied by various characters that are typically casted as good in other stories such as the Three Pigs, Little Red Riding Hood and the Gingerbread Man. The adaptation switches around the perspectives in a way that might give the reader a new look on previous tales.

How Reality and Fiction are used in my Project

Fiction is often used to embellish reality, and some true stories inspire retellings that have not-entirely realistic settings. Our teacher told us that this is not a bad thing at all as fictional details can be symbolic from other people’s perspectives.

In Monsters (the name), the protagonist is tormented and eventually “murdered” by “monsters” that symbolically may or may not represent people she knows, including her parents. It is also ambiguous whether the events of the film are a repeated nightmare that is about to begin again at the end, or she is waking up from a nightmare to die for real. The main character is implied to see the “monsters” because it is too awful for her to see the people that the creatures really represent.

Inspirations taken from my previous two films are how perspectives from different people have their inner reality and fiction affected by their identities and perception of place.

19/02/20

Yesterday, I told my class and teacher about my ideas and it was positively encouraged.

The plot is Anna Keswick, a frightened teenage girl waking from one nightmare into another as she struggles to go back to sleep and goes down to the basement when she fails. There she gets attacked by monsters and a news report confirm that she was killed by them. Just as the reporter is about to reveal the identity of the “monsters” and what relation they have to Anna, the girl wakes up terrified again and the ending is another torturous cycle. The subtext I am implying is that the “monsters” are implied to be people Anna knows such as her family, and Anna is imagining her family as monsters because it is too unbearable to know that her family are abusive to her. It is related to fiction because Anna is trying to cope with reality with fictionalised versions of her murderers.

Below are ideas for the film - these may or may not change:

·        I am considering making it a serious parody of film noir where there is an American detective-style narration making darkly comedic quips and, poetic and melancholy story telling (I am now less positive about this idea).

·         Instead of a ticking clock, I could have an odd and unnerving soundtrack consisting of something unorthodox such as construction noises (as in the film Eraserhead). The effect was unnerving in the original film and I plan to have it do so in my film. The reason would be because the Eraserhead has nothing to do with building and the pitching on the soundscape is done in a manner that is spooky.

·         Today, while our teacher was showing us some avant-garde films, he showed us a transparency technique called trick photography where transparent images are placed together to look like they are together such as the clip showing rain pouring over Paris and then a paper boat “sailing”: they were transparent and thus were optical illusions.

23/02/20 Thought out plans

In preparation for my film, I have decided to do the following:

·        Heavily edit the script so that the dialogue comes off as haunting and tragic. I have eventually decided against the Noir-style narration, because while it would work for the story technically, it would not go with the mood of the story of the fear and hopelessness of a young person’s life being torturous due to circumstances outside of her control.

·        To make the contrast of reality and fiction in my film, the effects are going to be combined with live action filming. As well as using Premiere, I also use Adobe After Effects for the first time.

·         For inspiration, I will look at the following media sources: the opening from Good Omens for its fantastical elements, Don’t Look Now for its twist at the end I will not spoil and general haunting atmosphere and, The Picnic At Hanging Rock for its mystery and shared trope of their mysteries never getting closure (In TPAHR, we never find out what happened to the missing girls and in my film, we never find out the true identities of the monsters killing Anna).

·         For a stronger impact in the voice acting, I will use Cubase to distort my voice and add it to the track on Premiere. The tracks on Premiere and Cubase are actually separate and nothing can be done to change the ones from Cubase once they are on Premiere.

24/02/20 Thoughts On: 

Don’t Look Now

Recently I watched Don’t Look Now to take inspiration from it. The film was hauntingly terrifying in an eerie way with gore only placed at the end. Even the scene with Christine drowning was not explicit and relied on built-up tension when nothing happens but the audience knows bad event will happen. Most of the time the film only used diegetic sounds within scenes with Synths placed during dramatic moments: most of the time it felt more like a causal holiday film like Nuts In May!

The colour red was a common motif for death because of the drowned girl wearing a red Macintosh: red is featured in a scene when there is going to be trouble. The twist of John, the father being psychic and foreseeing his own death (particularly when he sees his wife and the two sisters on a boat, even though his wife went back home to check on their son, who was injured) to be an interesting twist. I also aim to use both sound and visual motifs.

Throughout the film, the two parents and the audience sees a small figure in a red Macintosh that seems to be Christine but turns out to be a serial killer who kills the father when he goes after her: their hopeful fiction was destroyed by a terrifying reality. The same goes for Venice: in real life, it is busy and sunny, while in this work of fiction set out the holiday period and with a serial killer on the loose, it is all dark alleyways and canals with possible danger around every corner.

[fandom-geek]

warning for all the shb spoilers under the cut, don’t touch if you haven’t finished all the main story for shadowbringers

akdhlkjashdl;kja i’m so tempted to write fics for ffxiv since i finished shb’s msq last week it’s ridiculous

current ideas i am so damn tempted to write, feat. my ala mhigan wol, irmele lowe

irmele and thancred talking about minfilia, either in il mheg when she first notice thancred’s being shitty towards ryne and/or in amh araeng around the time they both eavesdrop on urianger co-parenting ryne - because irmele gets that it hurts (she were super close w minfilia too) but also like. ryne is a child and this is not her fault gdi thancred

there’s a 50/50 chance that thancred himself actually starts the conversation, since he does actually do that in amh araeng at some point, but like. that won’t have been their first conversation abt her

also kinda torn on whether irmele was in love with minfilia or not - if only bc i ship irmele with half the cast so honestly if i mention a ship just assume it’s in a slightly parallel universe to the other ship-fics and gen fics

irmele’s mini freakout and consequent repression after eavesdropping on y’shtola and urianger’s argument - featuring the umpteenth round of “i’m sure the exarch must be g’raha tia” and also “urianger i love you so much like we’re good friends but please stop withholding vital informations from me it makes it so much easier to trust you that way”

the followup when urianger comes to apologise after the innocence trial and its fallout ends up, once again, with irmele going “urianger no you don’t need to apologise but also like pls chill on the secrecy front dude”

hugging both alphinaud and alisaie because square why didn’t you let us, alisaie especially needs a hug (also don’t think i didn’t notice the parallels to her friend being killed in that short story square because i absolutely did)

like irmele has pretty much adopted the twins as her kids/younger siblings at this point, so alphinaud going “we’re family but not by blood”

that weird moment where irmele actually kinda relates to emet-selch and immediately hates it because this is the guy who ordered her home invaded and her entire family is dead because of him but also using the opportunity to constantly pester him with questions because if she can annoy him she will (also: information)

hugging g’raha tia, because he also needs a hug, and it’s 50/50 whether irmele will make out with him or not because he’s too damn sweet and head over heels in love with them

post-msq fic where cid walks in while irmele is filling tataru in on what’s been happening and irmele immediately remembers the tiny detail of not having apologised to cid for breaking her promise and also realising she’s about to get to the bit where she almost, y’know, turned into a sin eater and caused the eighth umbral calamity and just kinda. skips it a bit

and the consequential “everyone including ryne and g’raha tia comes back to the source” and that moment when everyone realises that irmele did not in fact mention that entire part. i’m torn btwn irmele being there bc the entire “lying to act as if she’s not overworking themselves” is absolutely smth that she has a problem with

another post-msq fic where irmele tells/confirms to cid, rammbroes, and the ironworks (aka biggs, wedge, and nero) that g’raha tia is the one who summoned them and also that he’s a bit of a dummy bc he somehow thought she hadn’t worked it out right away

another follow up of g’raha returning with everyone (aka the scions wake up whilst irmele takes g’raha and ryne) with rammbroes and everyone giving g’raha A Big Damn Hug and g’raha bursts into tears again

also irmele tells wedge to please stop with the thermocoil boilmaster because fighting murderous laser-shooting kettles once was enough ok thank you, and like she knows you want a pet wedge but not like that please

also arenvald’s reaction when irmele and alphinaud return bc lbr irmele has also adopted arenvald, the dialogue about him holding down the fort in their absence is fucking adorable, and my boy’s been such a fav ever since i met him in arr

a semi-inevitable amaurotian!wol/emet-selch/hythlodaeus fic because if i can ship a poly ship i will absolutely ship a poly ship, and the idea of the amaurotian!wol and emet-selch taking opposite sides while hythlodaeus is on neither makes for both beautiful angst and some sweet fluff before everything went to ship (aka yes i am absolutely going the childhood friends to lovers route)

possibly including that theory that g’raha tia is the source’s reincarnation of hythlodaeus. it’s so tempting, makes a ton of sense, and adds extra angst? like sign me tf up my friends

not sure if i’ll do it myself since i’m really not good at y’shtola’s character voice, but runar/y’shtola??? just y e s. he’s such a sweet worrier and he literally lifts her up and hugs her!!! and she’s so fond and amused!!!! that is absolutely a ship i’m ready for

feat. irmele and ryne trying to set them up subtly while thancred is just laughing and urianger occasionally pitches in - only to eventually discover that they’re already together and y’shtola will never let irmele or urianger live it down

even though y’shtola lets ryne live it down, thancred does tease her about it sometimes because he has adopted her and is now a Good Dad

also - ardbert and irmele. idk exactly what i want to write about them, only that i do. 

the final post-msq fic i can think of - ryne and unukalhai get to meet each other, as they’re both children adopted into the scions. to everyone’s surprise, ryne turns out to have a giant mischievous streak and before long has recruited unukalhai into a prank war against the entirety of revenant’s toll

needless to say, thancred is very proud and urianger is very happy both of his adopted children get along very well, especially since he may or may not have been giving them tips every now and then on how best to prank specific people

the aforementioned prank war gets slightly out of hand when ryne and unukalhai make the mistake of pranking cid (bc he’s nice so it’ll be ok) and sparks of an intra-ironworks prank war because nero recently returned and well, it wouldn’t be the first time he’s pranked cid and it won’t be the last

irmele gets recruited in to help when ryne and unukalhai realise what’s happened and panicked - only to panic again when they realise irmele is being a gleeful bastard and joining in

they end up coming clear to cid and the rest of the ironworks in such a sweet way (and they clearly feel so guilty) that they may end up temporarily showered in gifts from everyone in the ironworks (even if nero pretends he wasn’t involved in the presents he absolutely was)

which. yes. i have many ideas. who knows if i’ll end up writing them, but i’m really tempted towards the stuff involving g’raha tia and emet-selch (both separately and together), and also irmele accidentally parenting half the children in her sight because that’s always some level of hilarious

[agl03]

No Papa Fitz last night (which is basically my favorite theory right now) but just wanted to get your thoughts on where you think they are going with Fitz and the whole Radcliffe/mad science thing. There have been multiple scenes now and they feature the same three people: Fitz, Mac and Jemma. First it was all about Radcliffe and Fitz's Dad and tonight it was Fitz's inventions doing evil things cos of Radcliffe's influence. I still am wondering where they are going with Fitz's arc here

Hi Anon!

Next week I think Fitz is going to get his chance to take down the tech that Radcliffe as corrupted or at the very least deal it a crucial blow.  Because we have a few things that need to happen to wrap up this arc.  

Make it so we can’t have anymore swapping with LMD’s

Get the threat of the Framework under control

Find who is in the Framework, get them out, and get them home.  

Essentially we need to break the loop.  Make it so that threat of someone getting kidnapped, put in the Framework, and swapped off the table for good because we cant’ keep repeating it.  And we can’t leave half the main cast in there…May has been in there long enough as it is.

And Fitzsimmons need to do this while avoiding getting captured and put under themselves.  Fitz said with enough time he could track where Radcliffe had the Framework and I’m betting he can hack it.  If he can do that and at least wake the others up Radcliffe will have his hands full with a very pissed off group of highly trained Shield agents.  Even better if Radcliffe has come to the Playground to get whatever he sent the LMD’s in for and we have the Originals running loose with the LMD’s.

Radcliffe seems to have what he wants to some extent.  He’s got the Framework and the world he’s built for himself in there now.  He only comes out when he has too and even then is pretty grumpy about it.  What happens if Fitz destroys the Framework.  Radcliffe is almost addicted to his so I don’t see that going over well.  

I also don’t think Radcliffe is the bigger threat to Fitz right now.  Its whoever is still lurking in the shadows.  They made it clear that Radcliffe needed Fitz to get where he was with both the Framework and AIDA.  I haven’t let to that Robocliffe and AIDA 2.0 haven’t been reprogrammed by someone else without Radlciffe knowing thing go.  That the manipulator is being manipulated himself.  That someone got the LMD plans to him so he would do this for them.  

Radcliffe still doesn’t want people hurt, he’s not a fan of the base attack in the Promo.  And what we haven’t seen is Fitz in danger with Radcliffe in the mix.  That is likely when we see Radcliffe’s true feelings, what happens if FItz is captured or taken by who was using Radcliffe, does he help get him back or simply try to retreat back into the Framework?  Will he stop AIDA from killing him even if Fitz is totally ruining his plans?  And Fitz won’t be like he was with Ward either, he won’t try to see the good in him when they come face to face again (because that is coming, no question).  

Papa Fitz is an x factor right now too.  My current theory is he is more of a middle man between the Big Baddie and Radcliffe.  His connections…like Radcliffe will put his son in danger.  This option allows for a one and done kind of arc or for him to be a minor player as C plays out.  Right now I don’t think he’s a scientist either.  Rather a corporate kind of guy or maybe into computers.  The team could simply need to find him as a next step to the Big Bad or hes willingly working for the Big Bad.

Mack has been in the mix with Fitzsimmons quite a bit.  First with the Papa Fitz thing and then the discussion this week.   Mack’s reaction about the father could very well be tied to him losing his chance to be a father and then learning Fitz’s was not only awful but walked away from something Mack lost.  And I honestly need to see what goes down in 15 before I can really speculate where Mack goes from here.  If he stays on this or if he jumps back to another story line.  

The science itself will continue  to escalate.   The Darkhold is still in the mix, we have NO IDEA what Radcliffe is really up too, and what the Big bad is up too.  But I”m guessing the thing that the team has to stop by the end of the season will be a crazy Mad Science kind of weapon/bomb/death ray take over the world kind of plan.  IE we’ve explored good intentions gone bad….what happens when we see a scientist set out with bad intentions to do bad things.

[briarsouls]

Cloverfield Paradox SPOILERS

Ok so I just watched The Cloverfield Paradox and let me tell you it was a wild ride. Cloverfield 1 was a nice iteration on the shaky-cam monster flick, and 10 Cloverfield Lane was probably the most tense thriller I’ve ever seen, so I was ready to really enjoy a true sci-fi film from the series. And my god it was a disaster.

It started off ok, with the presentation of an energy-starved earth and the multi-national endeavor of the Cloverfield Space Station to solve the crisis. The main character is a woman who blames herself for the death of her children after a battery she installs in the house causes a fire, thus her involvement in the project is sort of a redemption thing. The rest of the cast includes a stoic commander, a goofy maintenance guy (Chris O’Dowd, which gave me a lot of hope), a German physicist, a Russian dude (who was actually a Norwegian actor) that mostly just serves as a crazy man, a Chinese engineer, and finally the bad guy from the Fast & Furious movies playing as the resident doctor.

So, all in all, a pretty diverse cast. All is well as we go through a montage of them failing to successfully get The Science™ to work. Now, it’s pretty standard for Sci-fi to be shaky in the way of explanations, but they seem to use an awful lot of real physics terminology (a particle accelerator, the “God Particle”, quantum entanglement) and then basically say that it will give them Unlimited Power. Painful, but suspension of disbelief is important to all fiction, so we’ll roll with it. Then the news comes on and a conspiracy theorist that looks slightly like Guillermo Del Toro says that if The Science™ doesn’t work right then portals could open and demons could flood out. Ok.

So the science finally happens and, of course, overloads the entire space station. Once they’re mostly settled though they notice the earth is gone. Somehow one of their first reactions is that they accidentally blew it up? Like, the entire earth. Just, vaporized. Whatever. Also missing is the gyroscope that is apparently the main component of their “Navigation system”. It looks like it’s straight out of Thor, and they very well could have called it the Allspark.

So that’s about the time things go completely off the fuckin rails. They hear screaming from within the walls, and when they open it up, there’s a woman that looks kinda like Tilda Swinson inside. Except, she was obviously teleported there, as she’s impaled by like 100 wires and pipes. SOMEHOW they’re able to extract her, and take her to the medical bay, where before she passes out she seems to recognize some of the crew. They got no idea who this bitch is though.

Meanwhile, crazy slavic man is losing his goddamned mind, wiggling one of his eyes about and 3d printing a gun. He then confronts German Physicist, who has been trying to help Chinese Engineer get the Science Machine working again. Before Crazy Russian can extract ANY paranoid facts about the government infiltration, he breaks down and starts foaming at the mouth and convulsing. The two people he threatened rush to help him (???) and later he vomit-bursts a room’s worth of missing earthworms onto the floor before dying. What? The fuck?

So mysterious Tilda wakes up and basically explains that everyone should know her except Chinese Engineer, whose job is hers. Also, the main character shouldn’t be on board?? She supposedly couldn’t come on the mission because of her family? (For those that haven’t caught on, Tilda’s from a parallel dimension, one where main character’s family is still alive). Also she seems to think Crazy Slavic man was right and German Physicist is, indeed, a government spy who has been fucking up the whole experiment this entire time, in both dimensions. She gets Stoic Commander to check the message logs and?? He is totally a spy???

Comic relief Maintenance guy is (tHe OnLy OnE doing his goddamned job) fixing the ship when he suddenly acquires super strength and punches through a metal panel, only to have the panel steal his arm. Not, like, bloodily sever it. Like it pops off painlessly and he’s like “Doc I got a problem”. Then the doctor looks at what is *clearly* a cross section and is just “It’s like he was born this way...” WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU EVER SEEN SOMEONE BORN WITHOUT A LIMB IT’S NOT A PERFECT CROSS SECTION AAAAHHHH

Anyway.

German Physicist, who is still very much under suspicion, finds the arm. Except it’s still alive like it’s Thing from the Addams Family. And when they give it a pen, it tells them to cut open the corpse of Crazy Russian, as it contains secrets (and, also, the Allspark. Just hanging out in his intestines. Except it’s the size of a big softball?? So I don’t really know how they missed that.) The arm is also mostly forgotten about after that, even though it clearly seems to be the only character that knows what’s going on.  ._.

So they have a nice long chat with Tilda and she lays out the whole parallel dimension thing, and somehow they get to the point where they’re like “Oh, yeah, YOUR German Physicist was a traitorous spy, but OURS definitely isn’t” even though?? The message logs?? Also, literally they are just on the other side of the sun from the earth.

Chinese Engineer finds out that The Science™ only needed some ventilation and it would have been totally fine, and tells possibly traitorous German Physicist to “Run the math” before she’s unceremoniously drowned/frozen/killed by the vacuum of space. Ok.

So they come to the conclusion they just need to run the machine again to get home. Oh, and also, the current dimension has a wreckage of the Cloverfield Station, so Tilda’s whole crew is probs dead, and the world has gone to war. The main character puts 2 and 2 together and realizes her two children are alive in the current dimension and (shocker) wants to stay. Except SHE IS ALSO ALIVE, THERE IS ANOTHER ONE OF HER. Which is the same opinion Stoic Commander has, though at a certain point he seems to be like “Fuck it I don’t care anymore” and tells her she can do whatever.

So one armed maintenance guy sets off to get the machine ready to run again but gets killed by the sweet magnetic putty he’s been using the whole film (and, also, an explosion). They then have to detach the part of the station ruined by the explosion, so Stoic Commander makes an entirely unnecessary sacrifice to uncouple it. For those counting, those we have left are the Doctor, the Physicist, the Main Character, and Tilda Swinson.

The plan now is, send Tilda and the Main character off in a shuttle so that they can Save The World with the information that they have on how to build the machine and get it to work, then overload the machine again to send the Doctor and the Physicist back, then run it one more time at proper levels to unlock Unlimited Power. Cool.

Except Tilda steals the 3d printed gun, knocks out the main character in the shuttle (with the intent of sending her to the alternate earth, with the information) then shoots and kills the Doctor, and shoots and almost kills the Physicist. Apparently she blames them for the death of her crew? Much more practically, she knows that her planet has broken out into war, and that they need the Unlimited Power immediately. Faced with those deaths in the world she knows, she feels compelled to fight for the working science machine. Fair enough.

The main character wakes up and succeeds in foiling the insidious plot (read: moral dilemma) by wrestling the gun from Tilda and shooting out a window, sucking her into the vacuum of space. All better!

The main character then sends a heartfelt message to herself about the importance of love and family (she *literally* just murdered a woman) and attaches the schematics and parameters for a working Science Machine, because suddenly the communication systems with the earth work again. Then, she and German Physicist return the station to their dimension, after which they run the Science Machine with the right parameters for Unlimited Power. Then they board a shuttle and send themselves down to earth. The end!!!

Oh except there’s been some flashes to what her original dimension husband has been up to during this. The Cloverfield monsters have been wreaking havoc (Guillermo was RIGHT) and he saved some kid and took her to a bunker. He’s also been in contact with Nasa or whatever about the legit missing space station while it’s been in the other dimension. The movie ends with him screaming into the phone that the Main Character and German Physicist should stay up on the station where it’s safe, even as the Nasa guy says it’s too late, they’re coming down. As they break the cloud cover, the original cloverfield monster rears up and screams.

Theeee Eeeennndddd