#recap and review

[girl4music]

“We have to talk a little bit about last season and the finale and all that good stuff. Last season was unique. Still Season 5 is my ultimate favourite season but Season 6 is in some ways so special and it’s because I relate to it the most. I relate to all the ideas that were explored in this season. Yes, it’s painful and sad but it might be the realist season so far. The Big Bad this season was the Gang themselves. Everybody was their own worst enemy and everyone in the real world can relate to that. This season we got a real and unfiltered look through our characters’ very psyche. It deepened each character to a whole new other level. All the pain, all the heartbreak, all the depression, all that darkness, all that drama. It wasn’t for shock value. It was for a harsh and yet meaningful heartfelt story, and I love the show for that. So yeah, for all its sadness, I really really love this season. It showed that Buffy wasn’t just a witty, happy show with some sad episodes here and there. It can go to a really dark place and keep it there constantly. It made sense making life the villain of the season because Buffy struggled just with the idea of living and it’s such a real thing. Each character’s problems were real life situations that everyone can relate to. It felt like a carry over from ‘The Body’ episode. Like seriously.

The darkness and depression - most shows would have solved it in an episode or two. But this show shows that realistic path that this thing can take so long. Grief, depression, addiction cannot be easily curved over night. It takes time. And it makes this show so much more than just a typical fantasy/supernatural show. The fact that this season started with Buffy crawling out of her own grave only to end with her crawling out into the light. This symbolised how she overcome her depression. I loved how the whole season didn’t go with their traditional Big Bad of the season. There hasn’t been a huge villain conflict since Glory and most all of the baddies of the week were either the Trios schemes or self-inflicted by the main characters. But when we finally had a proper Big Bad, it was so complicated because it was Willow. And when you look back and you see the episodes with the Trio, you can also see that they also focused on issues with Willow. Like always hidden in plain sight. What a great way to hide the real Big Bad. The very fact that one of the Gang becomes the Big Bad is so fantastic. All the build-up of the last 4 episodes, 3 of which have jaw-dropping cliffhangers - amazing stuff.

Xander rejecting Anya at the wedding; magical drug addictions; Buffy handling her depression in a destructive way; Spike dealing with the chip, his demon side, his William side and the fact of what he almost did to Buffy; Willow turning into Dark Willow; Giles’ appearance - what the hell? What the hell? By the way, Alyson acted her entire ass off in those last 3 episodes. Only she can pull off being diabolically evil while she’s still simultaneously being Willow. A big theme that I thought was extremely profound is the idea of consent. Willow struggled with it many times during the season. She did magical spells on Tara and all her friends without their consent. The Trio of course - Jonathan didn’t even realize that having a sex slave was rape. Then Spike assaulting Buffy with the justification that she needed to feel him to be reminded of his love. Amy giving magic to Willow without her consent. They all violated someone in one way or another. And it was an interesting concept. And it was interesting that the fact that they tried to touch on that aspect, you know?

For me, I really didn’t like the Trio this season. They were a bit one-dimensional. Usually Big Bads are but in this season particularly it didn’t work. But I do understand why it was necessary to have them - if it makes sense. The only interesting part about them is how they started being just nerdy boys playing games, trying to be Big Bads even though they suck at that until they became men who committed evil crimes. Jonathan got it out of the 3. He was the most mature. He understood the weight of what they did. Yes, he kept quiet but he did realize that Warren was dangerous. Andrew - Andrew man is just a simp minion willing to blindly be loyal to him.

The thing that kinda bothered me a bit - I’m not sure ‘bothered me’ is the right words - but I didn’t like the fact that we didn’t really have the time to digest Tara’s death because immediately we went to Dark Willow. I love the scene between Xander and Willow not only because he was the one to pull Willow back, but it was also a moment for the grief or pain that Willow has gone through with the loss of Tara. The impact of Tara’s death was finally dealt with when Willow collapsed with Xander on the bluff. But as I said - it really made sense that Xander was the one who pulled her back because Xander more than anyone holds a special place in Willow’s heart. He’s her first love. Her best friend since childhood. I can’t think of anyone else who could’ve penetrated her wall of grief enough to remind her of her humanity. This season Xander spent time doubting himself, letting his fears take control of himself. He doubted his ability to do good by the people he loves. And it wasn’t just in a relation with Anya, it was in a relation with everyone else that is close to him. He doubted himself. He thought that he was incapable of doing anything for his loved ones. And for me in that scene, he overcome his fears. His love for Willow was strong enough that he overcome his fears even in the face of death - which was so beautiful to see. The greatest thing about seeing Anya’s reaction to hearing Xander’s the one to save the world this time is that realization that she spent all this time trying to hurt him that if she did he wouldn’t even be able to, you know, save the world. It was so subtle that I really really loved it. I would’ve never imagined a story’s arc that ended with both Buffy and Giles out of commission and leaving it to Xander to save the world from Willow. I mean, who would’ve thought? Willow always thought that she was a nobody and it was a constant thing since Season 1. But before Tara, before Oz, she always had Xander. He loves her even though she feels like she’s a nobody. But nevertheless he loved her the way she is and the way she was back then. And Xander is that constant reminder that old Willow was worth something, you know? And it’s such a beautiful thing to see. Also the fact that Willow and Xander’s relationship isn’t romantic - it is what makes this whole thing way better. I appreciate so much this show for giving us a platonic relationship. They put friendship at center and not romance. And God, I love this show for this, like seriously. Like in this whole Buffyverse I feel like there’s 3 characters who had the most character development of all the other characters. Willow, Cordelia and Wesley. Cordelia also did a total 180 and became a woman to be proud of in the end like Willow. And Wesley - this guy was a literal geek in every sense possible - and yet in a few years he became such a dark and bad ass character. And Willow - like from this sweet, genuine nerdy girl that lacks confidence to dark veiny Willow - like what?

Spike - they had us in the end. Like, seriously had us. Like I really thought he was talking about his chip. But it turned out to be not the case. I was played perfectly even though I noticed how it was weird that he was there looking to take his chip from out of his head to hurt Buffy when we already established that the chip doesn’t work on her in the first place. So yeah, I was like what? But they really did play me. But it makes sense knowing his existential crisis, and his feelings for Buffy are a huge part of that. And he has been struggling with himself non-stop this season. And I feel like what happened with Buffy was the final tipping point that spelled him. I remember his words being like ‘What have I done? What did I do? Why did I not do it? Why do I feel this way?’ But then it came to him and he sets out to get his soul back. He wants to go back to being William. A man that he thinks is worthy of Buffy. But we all know that getting your soul back after centuries of torturing, killing and mayhem doesn’t mean happiness and rainbows once you get it back. But this is only going to make Spike worthy to have a redemption arc, you know, just like Angel. And it’s interesting to know that the difference between Angel and Spike is that Angel didn’t choose to have a soul, Spike had. He chose on his own accord to get his soul back. So I’m not sure how it’s going to work with him, you know? So both Willow and Spike got their souls back at the end of Season 6 - which is interesting.”

Your entire recap/review of Season 6. Wow. I had to quote the whole thing.

You are so insightful. Holy shit.

I fucking love you!

👏👏👏👏👏👏

Yeah, Season 6 is very special. And you’ve explained precisely why and how just like that. I’m in awe. 😮

“So both Willow and Spike got their souls back at the end of Season 6 - which is interesting.”

I swear I thought I was the only one who picked up on this parallel. The fact Dark Willow and Spike don’t interact. Of course they don’t. They’re one in the same thematically. They are the parallel characters in Season 6 and that’s why Spike was so wary of Willow. Because he recognized in her what he can’t stand in himself. He intentionally kept away from her because he didn’t want to be reminded of who he is out of a desperate need to be worthy and feel belonged. There is some striking parallels between Willow and Spike yet they barely interact. But I do believe that this season it’s very intentional that they don’t.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

you want a new kind of guy, fine, i raise you: the lady i was briefly roommates with in college who once smoked a blunt at a party and then spent an hour confessing earnestly to me that she genuinely preferred reading detailed episode recaps over actually watching the tv show in question

[everlastingleuthymia]

I dont know what Gyomei has been feeding Genya but look at him , so tall and even sits more properly than Sanemi

[kittennightfarts]

part 1

[dionyrtal]

2023 in photos. i can't recall a year i felt this unsettled. more often than not, i was in a state of detachment—from places, from people, from myself. i went on a solo trip to belgium and france in march, quit my 9/5 job in july, moved to the us of a to pursue a master's degree in august, taught professionally for the first time the rest of the year. i wrote a novel, then i wrote it again.

i was self-conscious, then i was self-confident. i was full of love, then i was full of grief. it was magical and it was exhausting. everything i lost, i gained in another form. i can only hope to embrace 2024 like this. thank you to those who followed my journey, helped me when i was overwhelmed and needed advice, sent messages of support and kindness. i'm so happy to have found you in this corner of the internet. <3 happy new year x

[please do not repost/reshare the photos without giving credit to me]

[haveawish]

Miller's Girl Review/Recap

Spoilers for the full movie!!!

No seriously...I spoil the full movie, so if you've not seen it, turn back!!

Cairo is 18 years old bibliophile and inspiring author, who is extremely intelligent, lonely and bored of her life in Tennessee, Cairo's rich lawyer parents completely abandon her, leaving her to dwell in their mansion like a ghost left behind. Cairo seems convinced they don't care about her. That dynamic isn't explored any further sadly.

 Cairo is striving to escape to Yale but struggling with her entry essay. To write about her greatest accomplishment. Cairo realizes she has none, as she’s been insulated in the bubble of her privilege or as best friend Winnie calls her “just another run-of-the-mill generationally wealthy gal living in a haunted ancestral mansion,” 

 The college essay is actually the catalyst for the movie. Cairo needing inspiration and along comes failed writer Jonathan Miller. 

Miller is stuck in his mundane life as a literature teacher, his writing career amounting in a poorly received book and a wife who is more focused on her own career and any available alcohol than placating her husband.It’s unsurprising that Jonathan becomes drawn to Cairo — though his wife exudes sexuality, a good portion of the movie she's in her lingerie, it seems to be no match for Cairos charms.

Cairo is like a breath of fresh air to Jonathan, a young attractive girl who intellectually seems to be on the same wavelength as him and appreciates his opinion and wisdom. He thinks he finds in her a willing protégé into whom he can pour his own unrealized ambitions as a novelist.

Jonathan lets himself be seduced by Cairo’s Intelligence in literacy and flattery. Her being complimentary of  his own book strokes his ego, not to mention her receptiveness to his attention.

Somewhere along the line Miller forgets himself and his boundaries as an educator, treating Cairo not as a student under his care but as a peer and fellow writer.

The movie throws in moments of  mutual attraction and showcases Miller's descent into crossing the line of appropriately, keeping on pushing his own choice of college on her even after she said she was dead set on yale, sharing a cigarette multiple times, inviting the girl to an event after school filled with Miller's friends, looking like a first date as they squeeze next to one another during the reading.

With midterms looming, Jonathan gives Cairo a special assignment: write an essay in the style of an author she admires. An assignment that will soon prove fatal to his career and possibly his freedom.

A mix-up in the classroom lands Cairo’s cell phone in his possession and he breaks another unspoken boundary, he drives to his student house who he is aware lives alone to return it to her.  

What follows is completely up to interpretation of the audience whether or not the two of them confront their mutual attraction. Whether the pair actually shared a forbidden kiss or if they even went further is up for debate. Something may have actually  happened between them at her house. I wouldn’t be surprised if his ‘fantasy’ is actually him recalling their night together when he reads her story.

Cairo delivers her midterm essay inspired by Henry Miller, sent with the note ‘love, Cairo’.

Feeling underappreciated by his wife as usual Jonathan lurks to his man cave where he proceeds to read and masterbate to Cairo’s essay, whether Jonathan is recalling the night or imagining this would've happened between the two is never stated.

The story  in which she thinly disguises Jonathan and herself as her subject and proceeds to write a smutty story almost fanfiction-like of a liaison between the two protagonists. 

 This finally shakes out  Jonathan of his lust filled head to put a stop to things, but unfortunately  for him he's  already gone too far. He's toyed with Cairos growing feelings  much less (potentially) with her body. As the two of them try to navigate the repercussions of their inappropriate intimacy. 

Jonathan tells Cairo to scrap the essay and write a new one; the complete turn around shocks Cairo.  

One day he was this cool teacher who's her friend and potentially her lover, he gives her attention and flirts with her and then next day he threatens her of failing the class. threatening to fail Cairo over the story is the worst thing he could have done in Cairos mind. If he had done it, she would've not been able to go to the college of her choice, Something extremely important to her, which he's well aware of, maybe restricting her to go to any college  at all. Leaving her stranded in Tennessee would have been her worst nightmare.

What follows is the complete ruin of any type of relationship the pair had, Cairo is angry and vengeful. Jonathan's betrayal blindsighted her and as the intelligent girl she is feels that blow to her pride and her feelings. Cairo let's rip at Miller, all his insecurities laid bare, Miller eventually calls Cairo a child and she calls him a coward. 

Him acknowledging her as a child is sickening now that the viewer has seen his actions throughout the movie. To him she's a femme fatale, a fantasy when he wants her to be but when things get real and serious, she's just a naive child and he knows better.

Cairo for all her scheming is still a teenage girl who for the first time has her heartbroken, and that heartbreak turns to cold rage and to get her revenge not even her best friend Winnie is safe from her plans.

Winnie is an interesting character throughout the movie that doesn't get the screen time and depth she deserves.

Winnie is a known lesbian according to Cairo, though Winnie playfully disagrees, claiming to like both as she tells Cairo of her flirtations with high school coach and Jonathan's friend Boris. Although Winnie claims to be interested in Boris, it is obvious to both the viewer and Cairo that Winnie has unrequited love or lust for Cairo.

Cairo offers to make out with Winnie and send a picture to Boris to try to get the coach jealous, perhaps getting her revenge at that moment at the coach rather than her desired revenge against Jonathan. Cairo manages to manipulate Winnie's obvious feelings for her, kissing surprisingly lustfully and hard since it was a supposed ruse, however that moment soon breaks and Cairo dismisses Winnie coldly.

Boris is shown to be a complete hypocrite. His boundaries with students are just as bad as Jonathan despite his denial. The first meeting we see of him and Jonathan is Boris stealing Cairo's erotic novel she had left behind and reading it aloud, completely ignoring any decency of Cairo's privacy. His relationship to our knowledge doesn't go as far as Cairo's and Miller's. However texting a student's personal cell at night is a violation in itself. At  the end of the movie  he tells Jonathan that he “never crossed the line”  in complete denial of how close he could have been in the same boat as Jonathan if Winnie didn't protect him from Cairo's threats. Winnie and  Cairo's friendship becomes a casualty as Cairo blackmails her silence by threatening to out Winnies situation with Boris.

His ‘survival’ for Jonathan's public fall from Grace.

The telling thing is that Cairo didn't lie when talking to the Dean. 

The fact that Cairo told the total truth to the dean leads me to believe that the kiss we saw wasn't real, she was all set to ruin his life and mentioning the kiss would've been the sure way to do that, however she didn't mention it once.

I believe Cairo is many things..but I don't believe she is a liar.

Honestly kiss or no kiss, it doesn't really matter.

Even more confirmation that Miller is not the victim of this story. The dean was asking all the right questions to find out if he did anything inappropriate. The fact that every answer she gave was the truth and the dean looked disgusted is proof in itself. She had a meeting with Cairo first, and Jonathan confirmed everything that Cairo said but was trying to excuse his actions the entire time. The dean thankfully didn't buy into his excuses.

Jonathan Miller is the Villain of this story, his choices were what lead him on this path, he could have done what any respectable teacher would have done and shut Cairo's flirtations down, but his ego and attraction won over his common sense.

Cairo’s actions do not cancel out her victimhood.

The Ending however was a bit too ambiguous for my taste. Through it all, Jenna Ortega is captivating enough to keep me watching. Freeman is completely overshadowed by not only Ortega’s performance, but most of the supporting cast. “like imitation crab in gas station sushi” is a very accurate description to his portrayal of the very one note character.

Cairo Sweet may be the character I will defend absolutely. A morally grey protagonist who deserved better.

[shepherds-of-haven]

Happy New Year, everyone! I thought it would be fun to do a little retrospective on the game's progress over the last year... Shepherds of Haven has grown so much from the little demo I posted in January 2018, and it continues to steadily build and flourish in so many different and exciting ways! Here's a look at just some of the things we accomplished in 2023!

I added 143,151 words to the game (2.5 main chapters, 8 new character interludes) in 2023: the equivalent of writing the longest Lord of the Rings book in one year! We also broke our huge 1 million word milestone—without including code—meaning Shepherds of Haven is now officially twice as long as War and Peace, and almost as long as the entire 7-book Harry Potter series... and all in a single game!

A lot goes into game creation behind the scenes, including the coordination and creation of visual assets for the game—like character cards, codex entries, maps, portraits, and backgrounds—fun stuff for the fans (like the MC info template we created), and songs for the official soundtrack. As the game creeps slowly and determinedly towards its initial completion, that also means learning new things as a solo developer to prepare for the future, like learning to build an official website, researching business and tax practices, and beginning to think about how to conduct testing, publishing, and marketing down the road. Much of what I enumerate here hasn't been made public yet and will continue to cook in the background for a while, but I'm very proud of the work I've gotten done this year and will be excited to unveil more in the future!

And of course, for even more Shepherds of Haven content, I've added and completed even more stories for our little library on Patreon (which also has sizable word count at this point): The Bridge of Bones (a Trouble and Riel murder mystery), O Happy Dagger (a dark adventure featuring Briony, Chase, and Red), and The Hunt (a wild tale involving Tallys, Halek, Shery, and new kinds of spirits, fey magic, and Elves) were all serial stories completed in 2023, while Some Kind of Virus is a cyberpunk zombie apocalypse AU that will continue to be updated with new chapters monthly.

A full list of the Shepherd short stories and serial novellas (with links) can be viewed here!

I hope you enjoyed this session of Shepherds of Haven Wrapped! Honestly, this doesn't actually cover everything I've been working on, but some things can't be packaged and listed out neatly, or otherwise won't seem very interesting to anyone else but me! 😂 As we inch through Chapter 9 and get more interludes done (only a few more main chapters to go), I'm hopeful that I'll also be able to find time to work on my next novel, but we'll see if the Shepherds schedule ends up ramping up or settling down as we work steadily towards finishing the main story!

One important thing before wrapping up is to acknowledge your guys' role in this wonderful, wild journey. I want to express my heartfelt gratitude to each and every one of you for your invaluable contributions to the development of Shepherds of Haven. Whether you took the time to share links to the game, supported its growth on Discord or Patreon, left encouraging messages or asked interesting questions, reported bugs, or showcased your remarkable works of fanfiction or fanart, I am sincerely thankful for the unwavering support from this amazing community! Your collective efforts have played a pivotal role in shaping the world of the game into what it is today. Words cannot adequately convey my gratitude for your support, and I am truly blessed to have such a passionate community surrounding this project.

As we step into 2024, I am filled with anticipation for the developments awaiting Shepherds of Haven. Big things are on the horizon, and I am so excited to share these experiences with you! Thank you for being an integral part of this journey, and here's to the continued growth of our shared little world. Cheers to 2024—may it be a year filled with creativity, adventure, and joy! 🎊

[nightvaleofficial]

2023 we finished touring the haunting of night vale that we started right before the pandemic in March 2020. Finally closing a chapter after 3 years so we could move forward, rehearse and produce a new show! Touring The Attic has been exciting and we can’t wait for more in 2024 ! We head back on tour Jan 9 and we hope to see y’all on the road!!

[kateknowsdramas]

Kateknowsdramas ~ 2023 Best Couples

[liyazaki]

they own stock in Windex, actually-

big dragon x kinnporsche

[stardustinyoureyes]

The Umbrella Academy Season 4 moodboard!!!!

[sbblake]

Apostle (2018)

Aka, one of my very favorite horror movies <3

[lilybug-02]

Wow, I forgot how much art I did in the past year! Really proud with how much I've improved and how much I've learned between comic making and art stylization :) Thanks to all who've stuck with me and to the newcomers coming in!

Honorable Mentions

Love these other pieces I did :) some of them are sketches and some of them are complete art works, but they all make me happy I made them. It’s fun just looking back on them all. 

[etirabys]

me: goddamn, I reviewed some fiction I wrote merely 4 months ago and it feels like it was written by a completely different person with way more life in them. the past months have been rough. I need to stop waiting around taking it easy, waiting for my energy to come back. I should just do the hard things I'm putting off

brain: like rereading and reviewing Nick Lane's dense book on the origin of unicellular life in hydrothermal vents

me: noooo anything but that

[thepersassiest]

episode 5 went CRAZY CRAZY. I was not ready for all that. besties reunion scene. percy being wanted by the fbi. tunnel of love scene. grover therapizing information out of ares. THE FATES??? such meaningful deviations from the original source material. new ways of introducing expositional information and lore. screaming, choking, gagging last night while watching it and also right now as we currently speak. now I must go to class and be totally normal as if this isn’t all I’m going to think about for the next 7-9 business days.

[nenelonomh]

monthly recap template

how was this month? (a summary)

top 5 memories:

what is something you learned?

in what did you focus your energy on?

what did you achieve?