#my kidneys have been stolen

[frowny-clowny]

*sits at you gayly*

[trainwreckweather]

I've started making little daily promises to myself to try and cultivate more confidence and trust in my abilities.

It's only been a few days but it's done wonder for my mood.

[doctorcurdlejr]

hold on. hold on. i thought riverdale was about hot men doing hot girl shit like chopping trees and hauling them out to lumber yards. is that not what riverdale is

Sometimes it's about that I won't lie but mostly it's NOT about that and it's about the most repressed but also Out polycule to ever hit the face of this beautiful earth. It's about an annoying writer who controls the whole town with his typewriter, his bisexual girlfriend who is sexually attracted to murder a little bit, her bisexual best friend who is sexually attracted to money and Winning, and her boyfriend who is addicted to Dying on the cross and looking up the definition of bisexuality every day and going WHAT!!!!!! THIS IS AWESOME NEWS!!!!! Cheryl blossom is the most femme lesbian to have ever been on tv and either attacks them with her mind because she has Issues or goes Tehehe my compatriots twas what we blossoms call a trickster mood, apologies I will ally myself to your bumbling cause (AWESOME). And gay Kevin is also there for most of this (holy witness after getting his kidney stolen by an organ harvesting cult DONT. Even worry about it).

Does this help? You can be honest

[silence-burns]

Back

Fandom: Sandman

Dream of the Endless beheld the ruins of his kingdom and for the first time in over a century, he felt truly powerless.

The feeling wasn't as unfamiliar as it would've been before his imprisonment, but the sheer scale of it felt overwhelming. The glass that had held him captive was created to keep him away from his realm and away from using his powers. It was as simple and as brutal as most human inventions tended to be, but in its simplicity it failed to change who he was. Cut off from the rest of the worlds, he remained the same.

But here, back at the remnants of the Dreaming, Morpheus was no longer certain who he was. What remains when you take away the power, realm and subjects from the lord of it all?

Morpheus no longer knew the answer.

He sat at the stairs covered in dust and rubble, and patiently waited. Lucienne offered to check the palace grounds in hopes that anything awoken would come back along with him. It was a futile hope, he knew. The connection he felt with everything that was left was weak, but enough to let him know how much was truly gone.

Dream stretched his hand over the shattered marble again. His will pulled on the stone, but it only shook slightly before falling again. Whatever power he once had that shaped every part of his realm, was gone.

Footsteps echoed in the empty hall. It wasn't Lucienne.

You stopped a few feet away from Morpheus. You hadn’t changed much since the last time he saw you.

"I heard the news," you said with a shrug. "Sorry if I'm interrupting anything. I just wanted to see if maybe Lucienne grew a sense of humor after all this time."

Morpheus scoffed, but felt no real joy. "I suppose I'm as close to a joke now as I've ever been."

"That's not what I meant. I'm glad to see that you're actually back after all this time. It's just that the thought of it before I saw you felt so… unreal. More than the dreams usually do, I mean, my lord."

"Don't call me that."

What lord was he, without a realm to rule over? Through what power was his position secured, with his belongings stolen?

"Sorry. It feels awkward otherwise."

You hadn’t been a part of his realm for long before he disappeared. Morpheus still remembered the day Death had brought you to him with a smile as mysterious as it was confusing, and refused to elaborate further. Morpheus allowed you to stay if that was your wish too, but had always wanted to ask his sister about her true motives.

The Endless rarely intervened with each other's realms. It wasn't unheard of, but called for careful understanding.

"Why didn't you leave?"

That seemed to puzzle you. "Why would I? I was offered a place in your realm. Where else would I go, dead and alone?"

"There are other realms. Most of my subjects didn't have an issue leaving."

You knocked a pebble to the side. "I like it here, even now. Besides, I wanted to see you come back. Things changed when you were gone. We played cards with Lucienne for a while, both terribly, before those disappeared too."

Morpheus didn't reply. It felt strange to talk again, to have a small, simple conversation with nothing being demanded from him. No responsibilities to take care of. Just a few moments being offered, and taking away his worries with bad, lowly attempts at humor.

He felt a finger poking his cheek.

"Sorry," you said with not an ounce of apology. "You looked like a statue there for a moment. You should be careful, or you'll be mistaken for one. Rub some dust over that jacket, and you'll have the right color. Maybe pose a bit."

Morpheus just looked.

"Or we could rub a bit more and give you a ghosty, ghoulish appearance and scare people. I'd sell my left kidney to see Cain react to you emerging mysteriously from the mist. Abel would probably just cry, and Gregory follow him, but I bet it'd still be worth it. There are a few of us remaining in the Dreaming and I'm sure they'd like to see you, you know, your not-lordship?"

Humans, even a former kind, were absurd, fascinating creatures.

Morpheus stood up from the stairs. The destruction and chaos around him remained the same, but somehow, he felt as if some weight had been lifted off his chest. The loss was tremendous, but not all was gone. The rest could be rebuilt.

"Thank you," Dream said, and the stars in his eyes shone just as brightly as the first time you met him.

Your smile warmed something where his heart should've been. "You're welcome."

"Dream."

"Dream?"

"That's what you can call me."

"So dreams really do come true… That's quite fitting, actually. But let's go now, shall we? We should let the rest know they can come back."

[lizard-shifter-noms]

Still Subject to Change Chapter 1 (NEW)

——————————————————————————-

Hello everyone! i decided to repost arc 1 of SSTC

(the chapters were way too long and had a bunch of typos but hopefully this will make reading easier)

this Story contains Vore, Dont like dont read.

if there are still any grammatical errors i'm sorry.

——————————————————————————

Hiding in an alley between two buildings I could look over the Market pretty well, and considering the clear spring weather it was possible to see all the way up to the Castle.

Fuck that place, I hoped it would burn to the ground and take the Racist King down with it!

Ohh how I hated being a hybrid of a human and one of the Fae beings that were definitely NOT human as was clearly seen in my way too blue eyes, very pointy ears, sharper teeth and the fact that some of my organs were doubled even if I didn’t need them.

Like, who even needed four kidneys? or two hearts? The second one wasn’t even beating

At least the second stomach was useful for holding my coins as for whatever reason it did not work like my normal one, probably also the result of my Bastard Status.

Back to the situation at hand, I needed food as I could not find anyone who would take in a bastard like me or even give me a job as per the King’s orders all Fae and even Woodfolk were to be banished.

I didn’t know how to survive in the woods since I was raised as the Human Donovan Verney and not as some wild magic creature like most Fae were so my only option to survive in this place was to steal.

I was not proud of it but I never took more than I needed and if possible left some of the coins that I had painstakingly collected from the ground as people lost them quite frequently.

Looking around I saw that one of the stands selling Pastries was currently not being tended to and decided to try and get some bread to at least last this week.

Dashing out between the buildings I aimed to just run past and grab whatever I could reach first and just book it out of here. 

but as I got close enough to grab a still steaming fresh Bun a Lady stood up from under the table the Pastries laid.

well too late to change course now, she’d be able to excuse one bread i was sure, running by i grabbed the Bun and Darted through the crowd just as the lady began screaming.

“THIEF!!! THIEF!!! SOMEONE GET HIM! ARREST HIM! THERE’S A STEALING FAE HERE I SAW HIS EARS!!!! SOMEONE HELP”

Man, this lady could scream loud! She acted like I had stolen her entire heritage instead of one measly bun, and even worse was that she had noticed my bastard status…

So it wouldn’t be long until the guards showed up.

As a matter of fact i could hear the telltale rattling of armor clanking against itself as the owners ran after me seemingly coming out of nowhere, fuck! 

They must have been patrolling nearby, today really wasn’t my lucky day.

Hearing them get closer I decided to Run towards the Silvervale forest as nobody in their right mind would go in there of their own free will seeing as it was infested with various Monsters.

Sprinting between some houses I arrived at a small field that led to the woods and decided to just run straight across it, hoping that as soon as I got to the edge of the woods they would stop following me.

Nobody in their right mind would follow me into there as the place was known to be teeming with monsters. 

Just last week a man that wandered too close got snatched and mauled by a Manticore and was never seen again.

I knew it was also dangerous for myself because I could very well be killed by one of the forest inhabitants as well.

But so far I’ve gotten lucky as my pursuers usually turned tail as soon as they saw that I went into the woods deeming them too dangerous and everyone that entered it immediately dead.

Reaching the Treeline and starting to run a bit slower i looked back and saw that the Guards that were after me weren’t even full guards, Just some apprentices wearing the standard kingdom issued training armor Consisting of a belly free breastplate and some Chainmail over Leather as well as sturdy boots and a standard shortsword.

That in itself would not have been so bad if it wasn’t for the fact that neither of them slowed down and instead just continued sprinting after me into the woods causing me to bolt away from them even faster to make up for the distance i had already lost while looking back.

I tried to get them off my trail by weaving between trees hoping they would lose sight of me but the Blonde one, who I assumed was the leader of the two as he was sort of dragging the rusthead behind him sometimes, was on my track like a Bloodhound.

I started to wonder if maybe they had a death wish following me in here seeing as I didn’t even know where I was anymore and I doubted they knew either, but this was a race for Survival MY Survival and I was not about to lose it.

I dared to look behind me one more time and saw that I had gained a bit of distance between us and I hoped that would only grow from here on out.

But as it turns out, looking behind yourself while running is not a good idea as I learned the hard way after a misstep led to me falling into a sinkhole that I didn’t see and tumbling down only served to scrape my knees and elbows.

The disorienting slide came to a stop at the bottom of a small cave where I face planted into the ground landing on some branches and dirt.

As I tried to stand up I noticed that my ragged shirt had caught onto something, and looking down I saw a Skeleton! 

Biting back a scream at this sudden development I tried to get off of it in a panic only to realize that the skeleton’s arm was sticking to my own as it appeared that a bracelet it had worn slipped over my own wrist as I fell on top of it.

Yanking the bones away and intending to just throw the Trinket next to it as it suddenly shrunk around my arm fitting perfectly like a second skin with inlaid gems I had never seen before, and now impossible to take off.

oh great some magic shit on top of this already bad day i mused in grimm irony as i tried to strip the thing off with no results.

Deciding to deal with this later and focus on escaping my entourage for now i climbed some roots that led me out of the hole i had initially fallen in.

Looking around for a second I saw that the men hunting me like Wildshot were way closer than before, so turning around I just booked it into the opposite direction towards a clearing I could see in the distance.

While stumbling exhaustedly over branches and stones I did not notice that I had started to grow until I stumbled once again and fell down.

getting up and looking back to the two that had followed me suddenly noticed that i was about five times their size now and they both stared at me, the Rusthead in unabashed Horror and the blonde in a sort of grimm shock.

I was stunned by this development. 

How did I grow? 

Then my mind and eyes snapped back to the Bracelet with the inlaid gems and I figured that the thing had to be actually cursed to do this to me.

Looking at the two guards in training, the blonde one who was ready to just stab me with his shortsword, now a mere toy to me, simply kept staring for a moment frozen in place.

I acted without thinking and grabbed the Rusthead next to him in a fist and plucked his weapon away from him as he squirmed in my grip.

“HEY!! LET HIM GO YOU BEAST!” 

commanded the blonde as he yelled at me.

“or what?” 

I growled at him in the deepest voice I could muster which, considering my newfound size was a lot deeper than I anticipated and ended up shaking the rusthead in my grip to the core as he tried to wiggle free from my grasp or at least get one of his arms free.

“I- i don’t know but please don’t hurt him! he’s only here because i told him to” 

the Blonde seemed a lot more jittery all of a sudden without his sword as he stared at my hand that had trapped his friend? brother? 

Whatever the Rusthead might be to him it was apparently rather important for him that he stayed alive and unhurt.

I realized I could use this to my advantage and began thinking up a plan on the spot.

“i’ll make you a deal”

I offered him.

“I know you’ll get as many guards as soon as possible the moment i let the little guy go so i will take him with me”

As he began to protest I cut him off saying.

“not forever of course, just for a week and then i send him on his way to skitter back to you”.

The guy in question apparently didn’t like that as he began shouting at me but I ignored it and instead put one of my fingers over his mouth to silence him.

The Blonde looked distrustingly at me and seemed to consider the pros and cons of this. 

He was probably fully aware that at this size I could very easily kill him and the Rusthead.

his eyes kept darting between my face and my hand which still held the other boy in an inescapable grip and finally sighed regretfully.

“if you PROMISE that you wont hurt him then i’ll agree to this just please don’t hurt him it’s my fault that he’s here”

He pleaded and started to take of his bag that he previously carried on his back

“I know that you’ll be far away by the time you’ll let him go. 

Can you take this with you? 

it contains some supplies so he can find his way back home”

I used my unoccupied hand to inspect the bag and saw that it contained a rope, a waterskin, a knife and some other useful tools.

While I inspected the bag the Blonde and the rusthead kept looking at each other desperately trying to figure a way out of this.

Stashing the bag in the front pocket of my pants I took my finger off of the Rustheads mouth so he could talk again which he immediately did.

“ARTHUR!” He wailed and tried once again to fruitlessly squirm free.

oh so the Blonde guy was named Arthur? 

“well say bye, you’ll see each other again in about a week” 

I held the wiggling Rusthead closer to the guy that apparently was named Arthur and let them say a few words to each other before standing up for the first time since I’ve grown into a giant and immediately getting a bit dizzy from the height I was looking down at Arthur.

Calculating a bit and using the Rusthead in my fist as a reference point I concluded that I was at least thirty feet tall now, if not bigger.

That was a lot larger than anything else I’ve ever seen and I was surprised that I didn’t just straight up put dents in the ground where I was standing.

Collecting myself and Holding the Rusthead, who at this point had given up trying to get free, closer to my chest i began walking in a random direction, now that i was a giant i could absolutely not go back to a city ever again i realized dejectedly, as i would immediately be killed on sight.

Fuck the King and his stupid policies that no Nonhuman is allowed within the Kingdom walls.

Deciding to shove my bitterness towards a man who I had never met away from me for some other time and trying to be at least a little friendly, I decided to try and reassure the little guy in my hand…

Oh Fuck i was holding an entire Person in my hand, that was insane!

Why did my brain only catch up with the fact that I was a giant now?

Making decisions on a whim when your life is in danger was apparently not my strong suit as I was now stuck with a person barely a fifth of my size for a week.

Shifting my grip on the guard in my hand I ripped his armor plate off and put it in my pocket to the rest of the stuff so I could hold him better.

He still had the chainmail and leather on him, And I had currently no Intention in taking that from him, as I promised that he wouldn’t be hurt, I deemed it best to leave him a majority of his armor.

Besides without a weapon there was no feasible way that he could hurt me.

But it still was extremely weird that I could fit an entire Person in my hand.

The guard in my Hands was still visibly shaken from the whole ordeal and fidgeting nervously with his Arms.

“Calm down Rusthead you’re fine i’m not going to hurt you" 

I tried to reassure him.

He however just mumbled

"don’t call me Rusthead”

and was honestly pouting about it.

“What do you want me to call you then?”

I asked him which seemed to catch him off guard a little as he looked at me surprised.

“ Oh uh…i… well my Name is Robin so call me that?" 

He jumbled out awkwardly.

"Alright I’ll do that, just cause we’re Stuck together for a week doesn’t mean we have to be mean to each other”

I replied while ducking under some branches making him flinch from the sudden shift in gravity and cling to my Fingers.

"So uh what’s your Name?”

Robin tried awkwardly to make smalltalk.

“Im Donovan and, well i’m not usually this tall”

I told him while trying to find another clearing.

“Yeah i can believe that you seemed just as surprised and confused as we did” 

he confessed.

“Also, can I ask where we are going?” 

he added meekly.

“Well frankly i have no idea so i think i’m going to go towards the Wyrmhurst Mountain and See if i can climb it"  

A Look of Horror crossed Robin’s Face at the mention of the highest peak in the direct vicinity of Kamerasca.

“Are you insane??? That’s like the most dangerous place here!! why would you even WANT to go there?!?”

“well im Giant now so i don’t know what would want to mess with me, besides i only want to go up there because i think i could see really far away”

Looking around I saw that the sun stood way lower than before and decided to start seeking for a shelter before the night fell.

“Besides i can just let you run back to Tunstead when i’m at the base of the mountain i’m not going to Climb that thing with you in my hands”

“So I don’t have to go up there? at least that’s a positive for now”

I nodded at him and continued striding through the forest even if my legs needed a rest soon. 

I had been up and about since yesterday morning after all.

Coming into a small clearing and deciding to just use the spot as a temporary camp for tonight, I asked the guy that currently just hung limply in my hand.

“Hey, are you tired? i think this place will do okay as a campsite for tonight”

“im fine with anything really” 

he conceded.

“as long as you don’t snore i guess” 

he added a lot more quiet.

“i’m pretty sure i don’t snore otherwise the actual guards in Tunstead would have found me sleeping in the alleys”

I reached my hand out and grabbed at the leaves of a nearby tree to try and to make it into a nest for Robin to sleep in.

the leaves felt flakey and almost fake in my now giant hands.

I realized halfway through my foraging that if I left Robin to sleep by himself without something to keep him from running away he would do exactly that.

Remembering the bag the other one gave me, I fished it out of my pocket and took the rope out that it contained.

“What are you…? uh what are you gonna do with that?”

the smaller asked nervously, staring at the rope in my hand.

“Well I know if i go to sleep you will just run away so i have to tie you up so you don’t escape”

I explained to him trying to figure out the best way to do this.

“WAIT wait can we talk about this? I’m not keen on sleeping on the ground while tied up like a wild horse!” 

He had started squirming again to get free, but like the last time it did not do anything other than tire himself out even more.

“You’ll be fine, it’s just rope not the end of the world” 

I rolled my eyes at him and started binding his legs together.

“ah what about ummm rope burn?! I don’t want rope burns that’s nasty and could get infected?”

He had started rambling at me to get me to reconsider tying him up, but he did have a point with the rope burns so, reaching into the bag once again, I took out what appeared to be a spare undershirt and started wrapping it around his bare arms.

“There, that should solve the rope burn problem” 

I told him as I tied his arms to his front.

“But what if one of the monsters of this forest shows up? or worse!”

He tried once more to get out of this by talking.

“if something does show up just scream and i’ll kick it as far as i can”

I told him while setting him onto the leaves I had prepared earlier and lying down next to it myself, sticking close in case he decided to somehow rob away while bound.

“At least i get a bed” 

he grumbled and fell over onto his side facing away from me.

“Whatever Goodnight, And if somethings wrong just yell for me” 

I said in his general direction, the entire day of walking had made me tired and now that the sun was gone I could barely keep my eyes open.

shuffling around a bit to get comfortable I closed my eyes and drifted into a dreamless sleep.

I was awoken later by someone saying my name, which in itself was unusual, as I rarely had any reason to tell it to anyone.

It took me a few seconds to recognize who was talking to me and at first I tried just going back to sleep before my name was said again.

Opening my eyes to look at Robin I saw that it was still night judging by the darkness around us.

“What’s the Problem?” I asked him sleepily and wished that it was nothing so I could go back to bed. 

I felt heavier than ever before and really just wanted to keep sleeping.

“It’s very cold. Can you make a fire?” he asked with chattering teeth.

Opening my eyes completely I saw my breath come out in little clouds and looking over to Robin I could just about make out frost on the leaf bed I had made and him lying pitifully shaking inside of it.

It was weird that the cold did not seem to bother me at all but i shoved that away for the next morning

“It’s too dark to make a fire and I don’t have firewood” 

I Informed him.

“Do you have any other ideas to warm me up?” 

His teeth chattering worse with each word he said.

Not knowing what else to do I rolled completely on my side, facing him and taking him into my hands once again, while also fishing out a handkerchief that I had in my other pocket intending to let the tiny Guard use it as a Blanket. 

I was glad that I had washed it before this madness happened.

Curling around Robin and laying the cloth over him like a blanket. 

I hoped that this was enough so I could go back to sleep already.

“thank you” 

I heard the softly spoken words that just barely reached my ears shortly before I fell back asleep.

The next time I awoke it was thankfully morning and i was not tired anymore, opening my eyes and looking around without moving beyond that as i remembered what had transpired last night and not wanting to roll over the small Guard i simply continued lying there.

glancing down to see if he was also awake I found him staring intently at a dandelion where a Bee currently tried to get nectar, not caring at all that it was stared at.

Shifting around a bit, I decided to at least wish him a good morning after he had to sleep in the cold for a few hours.

“Good morning” 

I politely greeted him.

He however, Flinched like a Wyvern had snuck up on him and whipped his head around to stare at me with wide pupils, Brown eyes wide before blinking and going back to normal.

“Hey you good?” 

I inquired about his weird reaction.

“ah i’m sorry i just had my mind somewhere else” 

He explained and then added sheepishly.

“i’m afraid it happens a lot that i just zone out”

“So I noticed” 

I replied dryly and started to get intending to stretch my muscles.

“So uh Donovan right?” 

I heard him ask from the Ground where he looked up at me.

“Yeah what is it?” 

I responded and bent down again to scoop his still rope bound form up from the ground while also pocketing my Handkerchief again.

“Can you unbind me now? Night is over and i want to be able to move again”

He seemed nervous asking me for anything at all which, considering the happenings of the past twenty four hours, I could not blame him.

Still I had not eaten since yesterday Morning as I was rudely interrupted by the entire madness that led to my current Situation and would have to get something today.

And having a small Person in my Hands while trying to find something would not be helpful.

“Not yet, i need to find something to eat first and dragging you around with me is not gonna do me any favors in that regard”

“Wait, you’re not gonna leave me tied up on the ground are you???”

He blurted out worriedly.

He HAD a fair point in that actually, i could not leave him in case one of the less friendly residents of this Forest showed up.

Having him sit on the floor would only be dangerous so thinking about it for a second I got another idea.

“I’m not gonna leave you on the floor don’t worry i’ll just put you in a tree most things can’t climb anyways so you should be safe” 

I explained to him and started looking for some suitable Greenery.

“That’s not any better?!?” 

He exclaimed bewildered and tried to chew on the part of the rope that went over his shoulder but couldn’t quite reach it.

“it’ll be fine i’ll just hunt some wildgame or something and i’ll share so you get something too”

I tried to placate him but he still looked grumpy about it as I put him in a tree somewhere above my head and left him dangling from a piece of rope.

“I’ll be right back with something to eat, okay? you’ll be fine in the meantime”

he did not respond and instead just pouted at me as I slowly went to look for anything edible.

Trying to navigate through the underbrush quietly proved to be difficult with my new size, as I kept stepping on branches and twigs and even entire logs as well as hitting my head on the overgrowth, sometimes alerting a few Birds.

After a few minutes however I got the hang of it and started to silently creep along between the trees until I spotted a Deer that was eating some lichen off a tree.

[copperbadge]

Radio Free Monday

Good morning everyone, welcome to Radio Free Monday! Sorry it's on Tuesday...the day off yesterday messed up my brain!

Ways to Give:

awheckery linked to a fundraiser their friend Bill has organized for burial expenses and a memorial service for Jean, a trans activist who recently passed. You can read more and support the fundraiser here.

Anon linked to a fundraiser for ladyyatexel, who is currently unemployed and needs to raise $2500 to cover rent and expenses for January and February; you can read more, reblog, and support the fundraiser here.

Anon linked to a fundraiser for Hunter, who needs help paying for specialist surgical treatment for her basset hound Myrtle's severe glaucoma; they're also trying to defray costs of previous treatments. You can read more and support the fundraiser here.

Anon linked to a fundraiser for sovay, whose cat recently passed from kidney disease; they're raising funds to cover treatment expenses prior to Autolycus's passing. You can read more and support the fundraiser here.

News To Know:

Anon wanted to let people know about Duck Prints Press, a small indy press that specializes in queer stories, including a lot of short fiction and anthologies published through Kickstarter; they've published queer fanworks based on Much Ado About Nothing and The Three Musketeers, among others. They're running a campaign right now called Aether Beyond the Binary, featuring nonbinary protagonists in aetherpunk (magic-tech fusion) worlds. You can read more at their site or support their Kickstarter here.

Recurring Needs:

rilee16 is raising funds to cover utilities, to afford medication and possibly an upcoming move without local support and with short paychecks; their roommate, who in the past has been physically aggressive, has destroyed some of their belongings and stolen controlled medications. You can read more, reblog, and find giving information here.

thelastpyler is raising funds for food for the week and medication for their sister; you can read more, reblog, and find giving information here.

chingaderita's partner's family house recently caught fire and completely burned, killing his grandmother and causing extensive property loss; he has also recently lost his job due to the fire, and a number of family members have since become ill. They're raising funds to keep food on the table, and get their partner mental health aid, and now are looking at doctor's bills for medical treatment. You can read more, reblog, and support the fundraiser here.

thegeeksqueaks is a high school science teacher (who has fundraised previously for supplies and comfort items for her students, particularly her neurodivergent and queer students) who has been seeking a diagnosis for ongoing migraines, vertigo, and head pain for most of the year; she now has a diagnosis and a procedure date, but needs to raise $1.5K to cover the post-insurance payment estimate. You can read more, reblog, and find giving information here, give via Paypal here, and give via Venmo here.

And this has been Radio Free Monday! Thank you for your time. You can post items for my attention at the Radio Free Monday submissions form. If you're new to fundraising, you may want to check out my guide to fundraising here.

[sbrown82]

I fell in love with Tina when I first heard her sing River Deep Mountain High, she’s been #1 for me ever since. But what blows my mind is all the medical issues she had going on with her and she still performed like nothing was happening. She’s always gonna be too tier and nothing has stolen her crown or even came close including Beyoncé (sorry Bey).

Yes, Tina Turner was a phenomenal performer, but has had many medical issues over the years that has affected her on stage. Her then-husband Ike forced her to perform when she had tuberculosis, a broken jaw that he had given her, and she even claimed, "He used my nose as a punching bag so many times that I could taste blood running down my throat when I sang." Later on, Tina also battled high blood pressure, a stroke, kidney disease and intestinal cancer for many years, along with losing both her children. I mean, her strength is beyond words. But also, what we ain't gone do is compare my queens. And they're BOTH queens!!! I love me some Tina and love me some Bey. They are two completely different artists - though I have said many times that Beyoncé does remind me a lot of Tina: it's the TALENT, the way she commands a stage, her strong VOCALS, the blonde hair, the high energy, the dance moves, the outfits, the BLACKNESS, the excitement, and the queen shit they both be on. I just love seeing them fuck a stage up!!!

[whumpsmith-participates]

Medwhump May 2024

Day 3 - "Squeeze my hand" / Flatline

TW: background character death, death threats, gore, surgery, assault mention, verbal abuse

@medwhumpmay

Death wasn't uncommon in the illegal organ trade. Victims were either harvested for all they were worth, or they went under the knife voluntarily in unsanitary conditions and died of complications after the fact. Bodies of recently deceased were stolen and never found again, or a John or Jane Doe was claimed by sketchy individuals with false papers.

Or, if your name was Fetch, you would steal a kidney or a piece of liver as a side hustle while waiting for ransom money to be delivered.

Beep...beep...beep...beep...

Fetch was glad to be working with some equipment again. He felt much less pressed for time when he could actually see the victim's vitals, instead of having to move as fast as possible to ensure at least some chance of survival.

His clients were cheap and tried to underpay him, so since he wasn't required to keep the hostage in one piece, he decided to make up for the difference by selling one of his kidneys.

It had pretty much become a routine surgery for him. He knew exactly what to do and what to look out for, and he still worked fast, even if he could technically take it easier.

Erick was enjoying the experience a little less. He'd been in a mood since they arrived at the hideout, but Fetch couldn't bring himself to care too much. He knew the teen had several bad memories of this place, but the surgical suite built underneath the barn was too good to pass up on. So what if Erick got bitten by rats, nearly assaulted by someone, and buried his first body here, only to later dig up a half-decomposed corpse so they could stage his death.

Frankly, Fetch thought the teen was overreacting. The rats were only in the basement in the farmhouse, the man who tried to assault him died the same day, and the corpse had been burned to a crisp a year ago. But despite how he felt about it, Fetch had decided to give Erick some leniency and let him hang out in the secret room underneath the barn, even if he was visibly uncomfortable at the whole surgery part.

"Erick, I need ice."

"Ugh..."

Fetch glared at the teen as he reluctantly came out of his corner that was the furthest away from the surgical table and opened the freezer to scoop out some ice with a bowl. Then he reluctantly came closer, reaching out his arm to give him the ice, but Fetch didn't take it.

"You know that's not how it goes," he said, "you know what to do with that ice."

"I haven't washed my hands," Erick argued.

"I'll tell him to get antibiotics when I let him go, now ice him!" Fetch ordered.

Erick had the nerve to groan, before reluctantly stepping even closer and beginning to carefully place the ice around the kidney, when suddenly the monitor started beeping rapidly in alarm.

"What did you do?" Fetch asked.

"Nothing?" Erick said, "I mean, I'm just putting the ice in like you told me."

"Don't talk back to me!" Fetch snapped, "take the ice out, maybe he's bleeding somewhere."

Erick groaned again, barely having the stomach to even look at the wound, let alone to dig around in it for slippery ice cubes covered in blood and other fluids.

Beeeeeeeeeep...

"Ah fuck," Fetch said, promptly taking his gloves off and stepping away. Erick looked over at the monitor, recognising the flatline. Then he looked back at Fetch, who didn't even react.

"A-aren't you going to revive him?"

"He's asystolic, the fuck am I supposed to do?" Fetch said, "his heart stopped. He's not worth the trouble to even try to revive."

"W-won't your client be angry?" Erick asked.

"It's literally easier to just hide from them than to try and revive him," Fetch said, "can't even use his fuckin' kidney to afford it. Probably had an underlying condition that makes it no good... Get the shovel. This is your fault, so you can clean it up."

"How is it my fault?" Erick asked.

"You distracted me with your whining!" Fetch said, "now do as I say or I'll make you dig your own grave too!"

The real whump is Erick's discomfort about this whole situation, but tbh I don't feel like I described it well enough, but w/e it's something! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Feel free to imagine the ass-whoopin' he got afterwards. I'll try to come up with something more emotional on other prompts to rlly tug on the heartstrings.

Masterlist Main account

[kayhi808]

Perfect Match - 17

The New York evening is the same as it ever was. Crisp air with just a touch of autumn. The endless sounds of traffic & sirens. Only this time one of the sirens belongs to your ambulance. Bill is besides you, holding your hand while the paramedics try to keep you stable until they reach the emergency room.

They push through the doors and Bill's stopped by a tiny woman in hospital scrubs. "I'm sorry, sir. No one is allowed beyond this point. How about I show you where you can wait," guiding Bill to the waiting room. Bill doesn't find the cream-colored walls & green upholstery the least bit calming. "When we know more, we'll update you, ok?" She gently pats Bill's hand & rushes back through the swinging doors.

Bill wants to argue, but what good will that do him? Billy isn't left alone for long. Soon he's joined by his friends and your grandparents. Some other members of your grandfather's inner circle. Men who watched you grow up, mentored you, trained you. All sat nervously in the waiting room for any information they could get on you.

Time passes so slowly as all they just wait. Everyone is asleep in chairs or returned home, promising to be back in the morning. Billy sits quietly, for 8 hours when a doctor finally appears, making Bill jump out of his seat.

"Are you the family of Y/N Luciano?" she quietly asks.

"Yes, I'm her fiance, Bill Russo. Her grandparents are asleep over there."

"I'm Dr. Wallace. It was very smart of Y/N to legally name you as next of kin when you got engaged. We have the paperwork on file." Billy breaks into a soft smile, mentally thanking Enzo and his ability to make anything materialize. And trusting him enough to name Bill as her next of kin.

"That's my girl. Please, doctor, I have to know how she is." The doctor pat's Bill's shoulder & leads him off to the corner.

"Y/N sustained some pretty horrific injuries, and as you know, she has undergone an extremely complicated surgery. We had to remove her gallbladder & spleen due to the knife wound. We struggled to locate all the places that she was bleeding internally, but I believe we got them all. She has multiple rib fractures, and one of those ribs had punctured her lung. She has a chest tube in place and a machine beathing for her at the moment. She lost a lot of blood and we are currently having it replaced. She's not out of the woods yet, but i am hopeful. She seems like a very strong young lady."

Looking down at the doctor, Bill can see there is more she's deliberately not telling him. A fear goes through him. "What aren't you saying?"

"Unfortunately, no matter how hard we tried, we were unable to save the baby." The world drops out from under Bill. His angel was pregnant? Did she know? Why didn't she tell him? "She was only a few weeks along. She might not have even known, not that it makes it any easier, of course. I am very sorry."

Bill nods, "I have no idea what to say. I didn't know she was pregnant. I'm pretty sure she didn't realize it either." Bill's in a daze. Even though he just found out, he feels like something's been stolen from you both. "Can she get pregnant again when the time is right?" he asks hopefully.

"I'd be very hopeful. Nevertheless, you could get some help with IVF, if it is needed."

"I'd sell a kidney if it meant her getting everything she wanted," he attempts jokingly.

"Well, legally I don't think I can take your kidney."

"Can I see her, Doc?

"We're getting her settled in intensive care. You can come in one at a time to see her."

"I'll be staying with her. The visitors won't be a problem."

"Okay, a nurse will be through shortly to show you where Y/N is. She'll probably sleep most of the night, but that's what we want; her body to heal itself."

Bill shakes the doctor's hand, thanking her for everything. He wakes everyone to update them on your condition. Except for the baby. You should know about the baby before anyone else does. Bill will make it a point to let the nurses know its confidential information. He wants to be the one to tell you.

Walking into the room, and seeing his Angel looking so small, battered & bruised, breaks Bill's heart. He sits down beside your bed and gently takes your hand in his. It squeezes his heart that there's no response from you. He starts talking. He tells you about all the shit that has went down. He tells you he loves you so many times & that he can't fucking wait to make a life with you. You just had to get better and wake up.

*****

You have no idea how much time has passed, but you realize it's nighttime. Everything seems quieter. The lights are low. You do realize that Bill's curled up beside you. An act that he's perfected now to ensure he doesn't catch any of your wires or tubing. As you wake you start taking inventory on all your aches and pains. You shift and Bill wakes immediately. He looks down at you with a smile that lights up his face and presses the nurses call button.

"Hey beautiful."

Tears escape, "I missed our wedding," you whisper hoarsely.

Billy kisses your face, "We can do it anytime you want, Angel. I am all yours. Forever. I love you, Y/N. I've waited forever to say those words to you.

"You did tell me. I heard you; you know. While I was asleep. I heard you tell me every day. Those words helped me fight to get back to you."

The nurse catches Billy midway through untangling himself from your wires, "Mr. Russo," with an exasperated sigh. They've given up on scolding him because he doesn't listen. He'll always find a way back to your bed. "Hello, Ms Luciano, I'm Kate." She very efficiently starts taking your vitals, swatting Billy out of her way. How are you feeling? On a scale of 1-10, what's your pain level?

You quickly look at Billy's scowl, "Um..."

"Don't look at him scowling. I need to know so we can prescribe you something to make you more comfortable. Your man there don't want you to be in pain either."

"7"

"Ok, we'll fix up something for you right away. We had to lower your dosage, in order for you to wake up." Again, the nurse has to nudge Billy out of her way, "You're lucky to have one very dedicated man. He hasn't left your side through all of this. He can improve on his listening skills and rule following, but you're still really lucky."

"No, ma'am," squeezing back next to you on the bed & dropping a kiss to your forehead, "I'm the lucky one."

@e-dubbc11 @imagine-a-fictional-boyfriend @idaofinfinity @snowkestrel @jvanilly @pequodprincessa @aoi-targaryen @danzer8705

[chaotictarlos]

after work conversations

ship: Tarlos | fandom: 911 Lone Star | author: chaotictarlos | read on ao3

Rating: General| Warnings / Tags: 4 x 15 Coda, 4 x 14 ""Donors", Soft TK Strand, Soft Carlos Reyes, Domestic Tarlos

Summary: Carlos ices TK's face while they talk about their day.

Author's Note: this one is a bit shorter than usually but that's okay. shoutout to @kiloskywalker for the sweet prompt.

My other season 4 fics

--

TK shifts, getting more comfortable in Carlo’s arms. They’re sitting on the couch, TK’s between Carlos’ legs and lying against his chest while Carlos presses an ice pack to his eye. Since he’s gotten home, Carlos has been hovering and fussing over him. TK put up a little bit of a fight and tried to say that he didn’t want Carlos to have to worry over him but he gave in quickly. He was too exhausted from the day and honestly, he wanted to be fussed over a bit.

“Can’t believe the guy you were trying to help punched you like that,” Carlos says and TK feels him shift as he lifts the eye pack. TK’s eyes are closed but he’s sure that Carlos is looking around his head at his eye.

“He has a stolen kidney, and knows that if he gets caught he’s going to jail for a long time,” TK says with a shrug. “I don’t condone it but I can see why he did it. It’s bad though, because his body is rejecting the kidney, and if he doesn’t get help soon, he will die.”

READ MORE ON AO3

tags: @strangefurychaos @sapphire11 @first-kanaphan @noxsoulmate @detective-giggles @tarlos-spain @lonestardust @bubblesandroses8 @thebumblecee @mooshkat @importantbailiffpaperpony @cowlos-reyes @meditating-honey-badger @paperstorm @otter-love-asl @kiloskywalker @angeltk @firstprince-history-huh @brouill3r @sanjuwrites

[archmage-ansrit]

I had been pondering and debating whether or not to draw attention to this, since it all began during a time when there were being scams of people that don't even have pets asking for money using stolen pet pictures... but now it's not as important and I've had time to process it.

Warning for mentions of death.

November 2023 we lost one of our cats, and then on December it was the second anniversary of the death of our dog.

Both of them were amazing pets for a person that is so quick to feel drained as I am.

So, I feel like I should talk about them. Starting from the very beginning.

This is Lucky. Not particularly imaginative but he is! My brother found him as a kitten, abandoned in a local park; he was really concerned for the kitten, and took him with him. He took the kitten to the vet because there was something strange on one of the eyes - he has a tiny nick ON HIS EYE, but the vet managed to save the eye!

Mom wasn't super-thrilled, but the kitten endeared himself to her enough to keep.

Then, Thomas.

He 100% used to be a housecat. A coworker of my mom's found him in her backyard, limping a little - knowing we had taken in a cat already, she wondered if we wanted to take in another.

Yes. It helped a lot that this cat is gentle and well-behaved. A quick vet visit revealed the leg was just a bit swollen, probably from a bruise. By the second day he responded to the name we gave him, and when presented a collar, he stood still for us to put it on.

Vet calculated, approximately, he was like 4 or 5 years old already.

Then Blacky, the one that just passed last November. And her kittens.

That is Blacky, The Darling (the one with short hair) and Merida. Not included are Babe (I don't have pictures of her that won't make me Doxx myself), and a male kitten we only had for like 2 weeks before someone else adopted him.

My mom picked Blacky up with her kittens included. At first we thought Blacky was young herself, since she was so small.

We only had a little plate for food, so we worried it would be chaotic. The kittens were actually old enough for kibble, and maybe all of them would jump on the plate at the same time.

Kind of! Blacky actually waited for her kittens to eat - we refilled the plate for the kittens that had yet to eat, and only after we refilled the plate a second time did she begin to eat.

Blacky turned out to be older than we thought, probably 6 years, and had really bad teeth from a life in the street. She was easily angered, and distrustful of Thomas (probably because he is a larger cat), she allowed herself to be picked up only briefly, starting to hiss if we held her for too long. We eventually won her over, and she allowed herself to be handled for longer periods of time.

She became larger, as did her kittens. They were malnourished, but now they had food aplenty.

Then came Spot, the troublemaker.

He only has a single brushstroke of white on his head. Cried a lot, very nervous, but loving and cuddly.

Then, Trooper, our dog.

He was a housepet, no doubt. He could shake! He warned us when he needed to go outside.

Literally followed mom home one day.

Really chill dog. He probably was 6 years when we got him. His teeth were horrid. He didn't run or jump too much.

I loved him as much as I could.

Then, Otto.

He is more energetic than the others, and gets into the occasional fight with others.

Trooper would bark at them whenever that happened, helped get some order back.

Trooper was sick, though, we didn't know how much just yet. He loved getting bits of ham, and French fries, and he nuzzled so gently.

He had kidney problems, and even trying to get medications for him we weren't quite on time. He would have difficulty walking, and, in fact, that picture of him is from the last week he was willing to walk long distances.

The walks had been... I think as good for me as they were for him. I got to know more of my neighborhood. I got fresh air more often.

My phone, at the time, was pretty new, and this is the only picture I have of him on it. My mom has more. I used to be reluctant to take pictures, but something compelled me to take the picture.

He eventually would not even stand, and it was during the middle of Christmas break for the vet, so we had to hold on...

We got him to the vet, had him stay the night, but he got real bad over the night. He looked to be in such pain, we had to let him sleep.

And so we went forward.

2023 comes, and Blacky starts having trouble eating. She had lost several teeth because they had gone so bad they needed to be taken out, and now it seemed the last ones were giving her trouble. Feeding her was difficult, but we endured.

She spent more and more time in my room, as she would go there to avoid Spot and Otto's shenanigans. I leave my door closed because of them, so she understood it was a safe place.

She even got to let Thomas near her.

But even cleaning her teeth would not help her mouth issues, she was losing so much weight, so the difficult choice was made to have the rest taken out. It was a risk because she did NOT do well under the anesthesia the few times she had to have something done.

She came back, no longer any teeth left, but she ate her fill - she even got into dry kibble! She must have been so hungry...

But she, indeed, reacted poorly to the anesthesia. She stopped eating and drinking water regularly.

Oh, she held on to life with all she had. We tried getting her to the vet. She got an IV, medication for her kidneys (she was having a special diet for it, too, before she stopped eating).

She looked so much better! She was perhaps a bit grouchy over being held so long, but she needed warmth...

She held on with everything she had, tried to walk...

But in the end, she passed during the night.

Since I was taking care of her so much and so often, and she hung around my room all the time, my mom gave her my last name for the little memorial we got of her.

Financially, my mom took care of things, as she had been the one to take in the cats in the first place - I could not have done so myself. I can barely take care of myself, but with them, it helped me move in order to take care of them.

I feel like I should have done better, even though, realistically, there wasn't much I personally could have done without being a veterinarian.

Here is to pets. They love us as we love them, and some times, the have to leave sooner than expected.

[thedeliverygod]

I need help, please.

Essentially back in 2021 when I filed for bankruptcy I used a feature my payroll for my company offers which is to “borrow” money from your following paycheck, I guess like a pay advance. I borrowed the full $500 amount in order to pay my court fees/lawyer fees so that I wouldn’t have to burden my dad.

I figured once my bankruptcy went through and I was no longer paying credit card bills every month, I could handle being short a paycheck a month or two while I bounced back. I tried my best, but life kept getting in the way. I had car problems come up, I had health problems come up. At my bankruptcy hearing in December they decided they wanted me to pay 2 more installments of the court fees early so that I wouldn’t have to go back a second time (I also had to hide my cell phone in the bush outside because they did not provide lockers and I had to worry about it getting stolen the whole time because I have no family/friends in the area to drive and drop me off but that’s another story).

Then my rent went up another $100 and inflation struck everything but especially groceries. I needed every drop of that $500 + the remainder of my paycheck in order to make sure everything got paid.

I won’t say I’ve been perfect and haven’t made unnecessary purchases. It’s a goddamn depressing world and I am trying to keep myself sane with little things.

I’ve sold a lot of “unnecessary” things in my life. Old video games and stuffed animals. Old movies. Old books. I tried to sell cosplays but I left them up on eBay for months with no bites.

I can go to the used book store maybe one or two more times with some things but I think that’s about all I can manage. I’m considering selling some of my Kingdom Hearts figure collection but I’d have to know I’d get a fair price of what they’re actually worth since a fair amount aren’t made anymore. But yeah, the bookstore offers me meager amounts for things so it I only helps so much. For instance I sold my ps3, some books, a Mai sakurajima figure and I think I got like $38 and a few dollars of store credit. Aka it helps but not much. I have an old diamond necklace from my ex boyfriend I’ve considered pawning but I don’t know if that would get me much either.

My mom just got home from a stint at the hospital; she’s relatively okay now but she was in the ICU for an infection, kidney damage and low blood pressure. The latter 2 were mainly from being dehydrated in combo with the infection so she’s mostly better in that regard at least enough to go home. She’s on disability and her husband is retired so they scrape by. My dad has been sick and not working for several months now with leg issues I don’t really know much about because he’s been very vague with me and won’t let me visit.

My parents can’t help me and I can’t help them. It’s been one of the most frustrating feelings on earth.

All in all it’s 4 am, almost 5 am and I’m asking for help because I don’t know what else to do. I’m ashamed of myself and I just am so lost.

Because of the rising costs of everything, I’ve often been over drafting now. I don’t know if I’ve just gotten lucky or what but my bank didn’t hit me with overdraft fees that is until today. I got several right at the same time I deposited money and I’m left with under $40.

I’m still getting my halved paycheck so rent is priority with that and then hopefully one or two bills. But I need groceries somewhere in there. There’s a prescription I need to pick up. I have an overdue medical bill that I’ve pushed aside already in lieu of utilities. And I just am so overwhelmed. Thankfully my cat is well stocked in all his food thanks to my best friend ordering him a Goliath sized bag of dry food and me buying wet food earlier than I needed to so there is that positive.

TLDR: If anyone can donate anything so I can get groceries I’d be so grateful. If I could somehow get to $500 to make it so I don’t have to borrow money for my next paycheck I’d be eternally grateful but I feel like that’s asking too much.

I don’t feel like my situation is bad enough for a gofundme but I do have a ko-fi which I’ll link at the bottom. I am 100% going to be job searching for better pay soon but I have a surgery this month and I need to not mess with my insurance just yet.

I’d gladly write drabbles etc if you would like as a thank you gift but I unfortunately don’t have much else to give. I wish I could draw so I could take commissions.

If you can’t afford to donate, I totally get it. But also if you could reblog and maybe it’ll find it’s way to someone who can? Thank you either way.

I’m sorry if I rambled on too much but my mind is racing. I just want to be able to get back on my feet so once I can help myself I can maybe help my family.

[henrysglock]

Mothergate: Time For Some More Horrifying Science Facts

Because all love my horrible science facts <3

We’ve discussed the history of uterine transplants, and pinned down that it’s 100% possible with zero suspension of disbelief. Uterine transplants were attempted in 1931 most notably with Lili Elbe, who died of immune complications, not complications of the surgery. The first successful kidney transplant, however, happened in 1954, which puts us perfectly in the realm of reality (again, without any suspension of disbelief).

However, something that had been stumping me for a bit was the fact that egg freezing and IVF didn’t really show up in the medical community until the ‘80s. So, I decided to look a little deeper into the history of the subjects. Here’s what I found.

IVF:

Though the first successful human IVF procedure happened in 1978 with the birth of Louise Brown, experimentation with IVF dates back to the mid 1930s.

(x)

However, there was success in rabbits in 1959.

This has been confirmed by multiple sources (x)

Rabbits. 1959.

(and in Brenner’s Encyclopedia of Genetics, no less 💀)

Here’s why I care more about early success in animals than I do about the first successful human cases:

1. Brenner has no code of ethics, which is integral to the medical community at large. That’s why procedures takes so long to get put into practice. Brenner’s whole thing is no-ethics fringe science. He cares about what is possible, not what’s right or safe.

2. Henward directly refers to both himself and El as being “animals” in Brenner’s eyes. Thus, animal trials are on the board.

3. The rabbit scene, 1959.

Not just the fact that it’s a trapped rabbit in 1959 associated with Henward, but that Virginia (removed/from a distance) and Alice (directly) are associated with that particular rabbit.

In fact, the gutted rabbit is most heavily associated with Alice, which feels like a tie to Mother Alice being described as being cut open in the Indianapolis Gazette (she was compared to a deer, but the “torn open” part remains the same).

So organ/uterine transplants and IVF? ✅ In the realm of possibility both in reality and within the bounds of Stranger Things.

SEX CELL FREEZING:

Sex cell freezing began in 1949 with the discovery of glycerol as a cryoprotectant. In 1950, scientists began freezing various sperm samples and found success in the process. Egg freezing, however, wasn’t successful until 1972, when Whittingham/Leibo/Mazur perfected the slow-freeze method in mouse eggs.

Now you might be going “but James, that means it can’t have happened back in 1959, and that dismantles your whole theory”…Not necessarily.

Bear with me for a second. We’re talking about Hawkins National Lab, a lab on a TV show about a fictional town with kids who have superpowers. We’re talking about the lab that developed NINA, the lab that developed Soteria. 1972 is just 13 years after Henward was stolen. That’s when it happened in real life. We’re in a fictional universe. IVF and egg preservation were dreamed up by Huxley in 1934 with the release of A Brave New World. Suspend your disbelief for a moment.

Could it happen? Abso-fucking-lutely.

Hell, Henward directly equates both himself and El with lab rats in Brenner’s eyes:

Rats -> Mice? Same difference.

All this to say…the science of it?

Henward’s monologue also uses scientific terminology associated with breeding programs:

In which backcrossing with parents is a common practice:

As is performance testing of offspring to determine the best new reproductive candidates.

Paired with the in-universe references…This is all within the realm of possibility.

[victorluvsalice]

Merry Christmas Newt!

@dont-offend-the-bees Sooo, you had no specific prompts for me, which opened the floor for me to write something -- weird. Something that combined a couple of things I know you're interested in, because I've seen them on your tumblr. Something that, specifically, crossed over your new obsession with the Saw movies...with a certain British gameshow hosted by Greg Davies that I myself rather like. I actually came up with this idea a little while back and meant to message you about it, but forgot -- and I'm kind of glad I did, because that allowed me to write this ridiculous thing as a surprise. XD Hope you find it funny!

Tasksaw

“Well – we’re in a bit of a pickle, aren’t we?”

“I’d say it’s more than just a pickle,” Josh snapped back, tugging on the chain attaching his leg to the wall to test its strength. Depressingly, it seemed to be pretty damn well bolted in there. “Or do you get drugged and wake up in moldy old bathrooms with your leg manacled to the nearest wall often?”

“I can’t say I have,” the other fellow – who’d introduced himself as James – admitted, giving his leg a cursory kick. The chain attached to it rattled, snaking across the filthy floor. “Though I have been in my fair share of shitty bathrooms before.”

Josh squinted at him. “Was that an intentional pun, or. . . ?”

James just gave him a smirk – which was quickly replaced by a frown as he looked around the room again. “It is a very odd place, though. You have any idea why we’re here?”

“Not a bloody clue, mate,” Josh said, letting his chain slip from his hands. “I mean, obviously we pissed off somebody, but I don’t know who or why.”

“Yeah, me either. The guys in Pindrop weren’t that upset about us breaking up,” James muttered, scratching his head. “Which was actually a bit insulting, if you think about it – oh! Hang on!” He snapped his fingers, pointing frantically at Josh. “We need to check that our kidneys haven’t been stolen!”

“Our – our kidneys?” Josh repeated, baffled.

“Yeah! That’s the main reason people get kidnapped, isn’t it?” James said, rolling up the side of his shirt to stare at his abdomen. “To get their organs harvested? And I rather appreciate having my kidneys inside my body!”

“You’ve been reading too many conspiracy theory sites,” Josh said – though he did slip a hand under his shirt, just to feel for any new scars. “Besides, I think we should have woken up in a bathtub full of ice if that was the case.”

“Nobody said our kidnappers had to be good at harvesting organs.”

“Excuse me!”

Both men looked up as the door on the far wall, just out of reach of their chains, opened, admitting a rather awkward-looking man with a scruffy beard and gapped teeth, dressed in a smart black suit and carrying an iPad. “Hello,” he greeted them, with a smile that didn’t seem entirely natural. “Would you like to play a game?”

Josh stared for a moment, trying and failing to come up with an appropriate way to respond to this. “Um. . .”

“What game?” James said, rolling his shirt back down and giving the newcomer a suspicious look. “Who are you?”

“Right, right, let me just. . .”

The man did something on his iPad, then held it up, displaying an image of a rather portly and extremely tall late-middle-aged man in glasses, sat upon an ornate golden throne. “GREETINGS, PEONS!” a powerful voice rang out from the tinny speakers. “Allow me to introduce myself – I am THE TASKMASTER! Your one true love, your reason for getting up in the morning, your NEW GOD AND MASTER! Over the next few days, I shall set you a series of tasks, overseen by my admin and general puppet-man Little Alex Horne! I shall score these tasks according to my whims, and at the end of our time together, whoever scores the most points wins the most valuable prize of all – THEIR LIFE! The loser will be killed in an appropriately ironic fashion. So play well, and amuse me. Puppet-man, I leave things in your hands. DON’T SCREW THIS UP!”

The recording ended in a burst of simulated static. The man – Alex – immediately pulled a piece of paper, folded and sealed with a red wax bearing a “TM” logo, out of his jacket and delivered it to Josh. “If you could just read that aloud, please?”

Completely and utterly baffled, Josh broke the seal and unfolded the paper. “‘Clean your half of this bathroom,” he read out. “‘Cleanest bathroom half wins. You have one hour. Your time starts now.’” He blinked, then looked up at Alex. “Clean – what? How?”

“All the information’s on the task,” Alex replied calmly, starting up a timer on his iPad.

Josh facepalmed into the paper. “Seriously? You’re going to be like this?”

“Well well well – looks like we’re going head to head on this one, Josh!” James said, with perhaps more enthusiasm than the situation warranted. “And I plan to win – puppet-man! Get me a cabbage and a red dress.”

[scarlettaagni]

My favorite facts about Starscream TF:P

Did space ketamine once

Is like the resident torture engineer, has been for quite a while

Has tortured at least one human, on-screen

His arm fell off and is now trapped in a alternate frequency of reality

Is the one Decepticon to actually kill an Autobot during the show, on-screen no less

He never lets anyone forget it, but they act like they do anyways

Canonically wears stilettos

Had his fucking kidney stolen by the government

This was after he tried conspiring with them to steal Bumblebee's kidney

Never got it back so he murdered his clone and took his

Used that clone's corpse as a diversion (faking his death) to burglarize the Autobots

Large chunk of the show, he gets kicked out of the Decepticons and is just being pathetic on his own in the Earth wilderness

Did space speed a few times

Just stops betraying Megatron in the last season

Literally, he just had a come to Jesus moment after like 3 other fake ones and was on his best behavior. This hoe became loyal

I'm not letting go of this, Megatron almost dies a few more times and Starscream never takes advantage of it and sincerely tries to save him to his own detriment, having to be told by someone else to just run, and then swears to avenge him, he was SO upset

He still gets into trouble with Megatron anyways because he's trying to suck up so hard and it backfires a lot

Shining example of this is the time he and Knock Out mixed space ketamine with space steroids and caused a vampire outbreak

If he could, he would break out into dance to showboat

[theladyofbloodshed]

Part One ¦ Part Two

Part Three - The injured Cassian needs to stay the night

This tiny mortal had more fire than most fae. She could give the Autumn Court a run for their money. Hell, he’d have like to seen her take Eris Vanserra down. Part of Cassian was glad she did not have magic in her arsenal though – and another part of him should have liked to have seen Nesta Archeron imbued with magic, if only to see what sort of havoc she could wreak on Prythian.

Nesta threw down the arrow onto the table. ‘Get out of my house, you absolute brute.’

‘Make me.’ 

It was a voice he used on Illyrian males, low and threatening. For a mortal female, it should have had her knees buckling in terror. Nesta wasn’t like the rest of them.

Swifter than most, she’d lunged for the broom and swung it at him.

Stunned by the move, Cassian didn’t even throw up an arm to catch it or to shield himself. The head clattered against his face, bristles catching in his hair. He felt his lip rupture then the metallic tang of blood on his tongue.

She was swinging the broom again, fighting a grin off of her face. This damn female. She was amazing.

Cassian caught the handle this time then dragged her towards him. ‘That wasn’t very nice.’

‘This is me making you leave. I do it to the spiders too.’

‘You split my lip,’ he said in disbelief. If Az and Rhys found out a mortal female had successfully attacked him when it took them years to do the same, he’d never live it down.

‘You split mine first,’ countered Nesta, refusing to release her grip on the broom handle.

He tugged it sharply, launching her forwards and into his bare chest. She dropped her hand and he seized the moment to pin her against him before she could lash out at him again.

Cassian had woefully underestimated her. One of her feet stomped onto his. It made him laugh because there was no great weight behind it but, as he chuckled, her knee came up to his groin. A pain shot all the way to his stomach. He doubled over, breathing shallowly to stop himself from vomiting across the floor.

She had the broom again.

A jab from the handle hit him in the kidneys. He wheezed. His magic sputtered from the ash infecting his veins then he failed to stop the second blow – this time from the head of the broom – that knocked him off balance.

It took a moment for Cassian to understand his reality. His cheek was on the wooden floor, his wings sprawled out along it too. His magic was completely empty, stolen by the ash wood arrows. Nesta brandished her broom still, but wisely kept out of reach. How in the Mother’s name had a skinny, mortal female overpowered him? And why was his cock stirring at that knowledge?

‘Now, will you leave?’

An involuntary smile lit up his face. ‘Oh, ho. I’m not going anywhere now. You’ve injured me more.’

‘Why are you grinning at me that way? It’s disturbing. Did I hit your head too hard?’

‘Sweetheart, if I told you that nobody has been able to hit me on the head in the ring for nearly three centuries, would you believe me?’

The thought of letting her loose on Blue Annis was appealing just to see what she’d have managed to do the creature.

‘Would you believe me if I told you that if you call me sweetheart one more time, I will ram this broom handle so far up a place where the sun never shines you will not be able to sit for a week?’

He clutched his stomach on the floor, his laughter loud and raucous. ‘If you were fae, I’d marry you.’

Nesta clicked her tongue then began sweeping the floor, not caring when she bashed it repeatedly into his body. ‘Out you go, you wretched spider.’

‘I’ve nowhere else to go,’ he said, standing up. She was taller than most females, taller than even some fae females. Cassian still loomed over her like a spectre – not that she gave a damn. She merely moved past him as if he was a tree in her way.

‘That’s not my problem.’

‘Can’t I stay the night?’

Her nostrils flared at that. ‘Absolutely not. Put your damn shirt on.’

‘You were admiring the view – I didn’t want to take it from you.’ Over his head went his shirt, and Nesta’s eyes gave one final longing stare to the golden skin of his stomach. ‘There are only a few hours of darkness left. I can’t fly. My wings are too damaged. Please, just for a few days, let me stay here. I’ll do whatever you want.’

‘What I want is for you to flap home, pigeon.’

He pinched the bridge of his nose. She was impossibly enchanting. ‘I’ll die, Nesta. I will be killed by your kind.’

‘Good riddance.’

‘If you meant that, why did you shield me in the woods? Why did you lie to your own people?’ Cassian blocked her from her path. The cabin was too small for her to go anywhere else. He gripped her wrist, hard enough for her to feel his strength but with enough tenderness to convey that he wouldn’t hurt her. ‘Wouldn’t you like company for a couple of days? I’ll cook. Clean. Chop wood. Whatever is needed, I’ll do it while my wings heal.’

She gritted her teeth and inhaled loudly. ‘Fine. Sleep on the floor.’

‘Like I’m a hound? There’s room for both in that comfy, little bed if we squeeze in together.’

‘I’d rather cut off my hand than allow you in my bed.’

‘Allow me?’ Cassian roared with laughter again. ‘You’ll be on your knees begging me to take you to bed tomorrow night.’

The cabin was plunged into sudden darkness as Nesta blew out the lamp. Only the glow of the embers in the hearth provided any light which Cassian used to find a spot on the hard, wooden floor to curl up on. He’d slept on worse. He’d had nights in the snow wondering if he’d ever see the dawn. A cabin in the woods with a feral mortal wasn’t the worst. Actually, it give his pulse a little thrill. She might try to kill him in the night – which he’d be ready for.

Her bed creaked with age as she settled in the covers. A soft thump hit the floor which he presumed was her day-gown. He had been teasing Nesta about the bed, but if she’d said yes, he certainly would not have refused her. There was an icy beauty to this female, all cold stares and cutting words.

Was Nesta fearless or simply insane? The others would lose their heads in amusement when they heard what she had done to him. The corners of his mouth stretched into a smile in the darkness thinking again of the way he’d held her to his body yet she had still managed to slip away like a snake to knee him in the balls. Few could ever manage that against him.

‘Have you got a spare blanket? It’s cold in here.’

‘Apologies. Let me just go to a field, collect wool, spin it, wash it and weave it into a blanket for you. No. I do not have a spare blanket. I am exiled in a cabin and should have died weeks ago. No, I do not have a spare anything – especially not for giant bats who have ruined my sleep.’

Cassian pressed his hand over his mouth to fight against the laughter. So much anger for one so small. Then again, if his people had decided he was to be sacrificed and exiled him to the woods, he might be pissed too.

***

Frost glittered on the tiny window pane. A gap in the curtain revealed it to Nesta. She shuddered and wrapped the blanket tighter around her body. She would need to travel further on foot today in search of more wood to burn. Her tinder was low too – though that was more difficult to find and she got through her supplies quickly.

A scratching sound made her pulse leap.

A male stood at her stove stirring a pan with a wooden spoon. He was tall enough that his head swept the ceiling in places. Black hair was tied into a loose knot at the nape of his neck and the armour he wore was leathery scales like a dragon’s skin with red stones cut into the fabric. The set of wings on his back were enormous things that nearly reached from the roof to the ground. Atop each one was a claw. The memories of last night came flooding back to her.

At the sound of her climbing out of bed, Cassian turned. In the dim light of the fire, he’d been rugged but pleasant enough to look at. Now that Nesta saw him fully in the stark light of morning, her opinion had not done him justice. He was handsome. Far too handsome to be stood in her kitchen making breakfast. Fae, she reminded herself. His ears were rounded and dark stubble lined his jaw, reminding her of the men from the village, but with those wings, nobody would ever confuse him as a mortal. His skin was much darker than hers. It reminded her of somewhere warm where the sun never set.

‘Have you got any milk for the porridge?’

‘What am I supposed to milk?’ She said through gritted teeth. ‘Myself?’

Without thinking, Nesta gestured to her breasts. Too long in this cabin. Too long with only herself for company. Heat scorched her cheeks which was made worse by the excited grin plastered on Cassian’s face. She scurried for her dress, but it wasn’t in a heap by the bed where she left it. It had been hung up on the peg near the front door.

Cheeks burning, Nesta crossed the cabin and yanked the dress over her head to hide her body from him.

‘That’s like giving a child a sweetie then snatching it away,’ he complained.

‘My breasts are for me to enjoy only.’

‘And do you enjoy them, Nesta?’

Nesta wondered if it was possible to start the day again if she crawled back into bed and hauled the blankets over her head.

‘I’m not a morning person,’ she said as if that covered all of her verbal slips.

‘I am which is good because you kept me awake with your snoring.’ He searched through the cupboard then found the singular bowl. He frowned then spooned porridge into it and pushed it into Nesta’s hands.

‘I do not snore.’

‘Have you had many bed partners to confirm that?’

‘My lack of bed partners is the reason why I was exiled.’ Nesta jabbed the spoon into the porridge. It was all she ever had for breakfast – and never made exciting with cinnamon or fruit or even milk. ‘The monster liked maidens apparently.’

‘That’s bullshit,’ said Cassian, using a fork to eat the rest of the porridge directly from the saucepan in the absence of another bowl or spoon. ‘Blue Annis wasn’t fussy. She liked young girls, but she would eat anything.’

‘I’ll be sure to let the village know in twenty years when they bring the next sacrifice and find me still here.’

‘You’ll stay here then?’

Nesta narrowed her eyes at the man in disbelief. ‘Generally, exile does mean one cannot return. I am not about to risk my sisters’ lives so that I can return to our miserable hovel where I have no prospects whatsoever. Perhaps I’ll become a witch of the woods. I shall become a story to scare small children.’

‘After the way you attacked me last night, I’m honestly shocked that there isn’t witch blood in your marrow.’

A small laugh slipped out from the jail of her lips. It must have been her exhaustion that led her to attack him with the broom. He had made her blood boil unlike anybody else had ever managed in the past. Her lip still had a dry cut running through the middle, but he bore no marks on his face. Even the punctures in his wings were healing much quicker than normal. It was the fae blood. There was a part of her that wanted to seize this opportunity and ask him about Prythian. Perhaps their understanding of faeries was all wrong. He hadn’t tried to steal her, hurt her, trick her in anyway. He’d been like a mortal in his essence – discounting the sprawling wings.

‘I’ll chop wood for you today. It's starting to snow. I’ll ensure the store outside is full before I can fly again.’

‘You don’t have an axe.’

With his chin, he gestured to the longsword resting in its sheath against the wall. ‘If it can cleave through bodies, it can manage a few logs. Can’t allow my favourite hellcat to get cold this winter.’

For most of the day, Nesta barely saw the man within the cabin. Mostly, he spent the day outdoors chopping wood – which proved more difficult with a sword than he anticipated – or travelling slightly further on foot. He moved gingerly, the ash still affecting his body. Nesta did not want to voice her concern that he was exposed in the daylight, but his hearing seemed finer than hers. He could hear a stream to the east that she was deaf to and Cassian mentioned a woodpecker, but she had not seen nor heard it.

When he came for a brief break around lunchtime, he stared with eyes agog at the tea she presented to him.

‘Where’s yours?’ He asked with suspicion, snowflakes melting in his hair.

‘There’s only one mug. As a rule, the exiled do not entertain guests.’

His eyes scrutinised it. ‘You drink it first in case it’s poisoned.’

Nesta held out a hand for the mug then sipped it, savouring the peppermint taste as it slipped down her throat, flooding her body with heat. ‘I should be offended that you do not trust me – but you were becoming far too familiar with me. I’d hate for you to think of me as a friend.’

This huge man smirked then, his hazel eyes glowing with light. ‘What a cruelty that your wit is banished to this cabin.’

‘I was growing too powerful for the village. They sought to humble me.’

Before returning outside, Cassian had loaded another couple of logs onto the fire and given it a good poke with the iron rod to make it roar to life again. On his way out of the door, he’d ran a finger across her shoulder blades with familiarity. The touch made her body shudder. It was strange and yet not.  

Nesta was a creature of solitude – she had figured that out already. But she had wanted to be a mother and to explore the world. None of those options were possible condemned to this cabin. What could she do? Bleat her case to the village elders that the fae male who was her current house guest had slayed the beast two decades earlier? The other girls had gone sobbing and met a horrific end. The scratches in the floor could not be buffed or polished out. Nesta had pulled a rug over the stain on the floorboards that she couldn’t clean out. It seemed that fate had not wanted Nesta. It had chosen a different course for her and she refused to believe it was simply to waste away in these four, crumbling walls.