#my mom and I just had a conversation about all of our dental experiences and it just reignited my intense hatred

[emometalhead]

I hate dentists.

[eds-zebra-warrior]

2021 Ehlers Danlos Society Awareness Month (Day 3 Prompt: Symptoms)

Unbeknownst to most people in the community and even many in the medical community as most medical personnel never learned about EDS in school or if they have were only taught the very most basic information about it but Ehlers Danlos Syndrome is a systemic condition and predisposes those with it to over 250 other conditions so it's not unusual for someone with EDS to have 20, 30 or even more other conditions caused by it which are called comorbid conditions or comorbidities.

EDS is a genetic condition that affects the structure of connective tissue. There are multiple types of connective tissue but there are also multiple types of EDS so one or more types of connective tissue can be impacted. Connective tissue also makes up at least part of every part of the body so when your connective tissue is faulty and prone to damage that also means so is everywhere connective tissue is located including but not limited to the skin, cartilage, the brain, heart, lungs, GI system, liver, kidneys, bladder, Mesentery system which is the stringy organ that is around your abdominal organs that eases then and holds them in place, lymph nodes, lymph ducts, nerves, blood vessels, blood cells, nerves, bones, bone marrow, joints, tendons, ligaments, muscle sheathing, eyes, ears, nails, hair follicles, spinal cord, sweat glands, respiratory system etc. You name it, it contains connective tissue so anything can go wrong with any part of the body leaving many patients diagnosed with conditions such as conversion disorder, meaning that all of your symptoms are in your head and you're fine for years and more often, decades because we usually get diagnosed with a lot of these comorbidities before we finally find that one doctor who can put the pieces together and say, this isn't in your head, you have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and those other conditions are very real because EDS is what caused all of them.

Now that we have discussed comorbidities I have dealt with countless symptoms over my life. As a kid it started with chronic pain, migraine headaches, and issues resulting from a compromised immune system because I caught everything going around and usually more than once. I don't remember a holiday as a kid where I wasn't sick or hurt. I was extremely clumsy, unable to run correctly until high-school with the very extensive help of my gym teacher. I was always falling, rolling my ankle, and just in general looking awkward with my body movements. I had multiple gym teachers who would agree that there was something physically wrong with me long before I could get any doctors to listen to my mom or as an adult, myself. I had to take special reading and writing classes because even to this day I cannot hold a pencil well or write with control because my fingers are too hypermobile to control a pencil so my writing is often illegible. I had a very severe failure to thrive, also called juvenile dwarfism, not even growing an inch between the ages of 2 and 12. My parents were told when I was 2 years old that I would be 6’4’’because I was so tall as at one and two years old that people would criticize my mom for carrying me out in public thinking I was 4 or 5 years old when I was only a year or two years old. I was 3’2” from the age of 2 to the age of 12 and of course when I was 12 I was extremely short and was bullied for my size as well as my weight which increased due to inflammation from undiagnosed celiac disease. There were multiple incidences with medical personnel and social workers as a kid because I always had such severe bruising all over my body and they believed I was abused. I didn't lose my teeth, losing only one on my own and at the age of 8 my dentist began pulling out my teeth which left me with dental crowding and requiring braces which were removed prematurely. I dealt with Learning disabilities and have been in glasses since age 4. I would pass out all the time as a kid, starting at 8 years old.

Bullying was a huge issue for me as a kid because I was socially awkward showing signs of OCD as well as being more mature than my peers due to my medical experiences and history with my siblings that forced me to grow up more quickly. That combined with issues such as my clumsiness and height made me the perfect target for bullying. I got what I believe was my first Traumatic Brain Injury when I was 9 years old while hanging upside down on the monkey bars. My bully had another student who had Down Syndrome, climb to the top of the monkey bars and lift my legs so I fell off onto my head.

My second was in the 6th grade. The same bully would bully other kids to help her bully a bigger target of hers which was me. One day I was at my locker between classes. Our lockers were assigned in alphabetical order by last name, of course my bully's last name came right before mine so her locker was directly to the left of mine. My mom tried to get it changed but the school refused. She shoved me down between classes while I was exchanging my books and the two kids with the locker to the right of mine she had help her roll me onto my stomach on the ground, one sat on my butt and held my feet down, the other sat on my back and held my arms down under her feet. my bully yanked my head up so my forehead was on the floor of my locker and I was trying to get out so she had the girl on my back use one of her hands to hold my head down. My bully then kicked my locker door shut on my head over and over again and I went unconscious. There were two teachers in the hall at the time but they just waked into the classroom when it started. I woke up and the hall was empty. I went to the office and told them I needed them to call my mom, I needed to go home and explained what happened. They called my mom and instead of telling her the truth they told her she needed to pick me up because I was acting strange. She came and got me and found out what happened getting me treatment.

She then took me to the school a few days later since the doctor didn't want me to return for so long (I apologize I don't remember a lot from the two weeks following this so I'm going off what I was told so the exact time I was out of school, I believe was around two weeks but I'm not sure. Anyhow at the school, we met with the principal and office staff who denied any teachers were in the hall or that any of this happened. My mom demanded to see the recordings on the cameras as a hall came in at a T right behind my locker so that camera faced my locker as well as one at each end of the hall my locker was in. They tried to tell her all three cameras were broken. My mom wasn't buying it so they tried then saying the recordings were gone. they went round and round and the school flat out refused to show her the video. My mom demanded that the girl who did this be punished because she has been asking for the school to help me since I was in the first grade and this girl started bullying me but they always fail to do anything.

They tried to then give me an in school suspension which my mom refused to let them do. They still went behind her back when I returned and made me take peanut butter sandwiches to the kids in detention during my lunch as punishment because they were mad my mom came in to question the incident. They refused to punish my bully in any way and when my mom demanded to know why, they said her mom and grandmother graduated from the school so she has a lot of history with the school which years later we found out after me and 9 other kids that I know of and who knows how many others, ended up being pulled out of the same school because of her bullying that having history at the school actually turned out to mean, she was black and they would not punish her because of her color. At the end of the school year my mom pulled me out of the school not sure what to do since back then they didn't have any kind of free online schooling so pretty much everything costed money which is when my grandma stepped up and told my mom she would help because there was no way I would be going back to deal with more bullying.

I had a ton of intestinal issues having to start colonics at around 10 years old and get my first colonoscopy around the same time. As a teen I really went down hill, struggling to eat because I had very severe nausea and cramping pain upon eating which made many of my friends believe I was anorexic but I went years without being diagnosed with gastroparesis. I started having thyroid issues and finally diagnosed with food allergies at age 14, Chest pain, palpitations, arrhythmias and trouble breathing around age 15 and seizures and cardiac arrest events at age 17.

At age 19, right before starting college I lost the ability to walk with no reason why and was sent to physical therapy to learn to walk again. The hospital visits continued in college from the seizures, emergencies from my thyroid levels going sky high or bottoming out, I started having issues with low sugar, rectal bleeding and more GI and Muscular Skeletal issues that again came to the attention of a physical education professor I had in college. The cardiac arrests continued to happen and I got an emergency pacemaker put in at age 23. Also lost the ability to walk a second time and re learned during this time.

After graduating and starting working I really went down hill. My nerve pain got so bad I could hardly tolerate it and had a lot of issues with muscle spasticity. Passing out and dizzy spells got worse, seizure meds aren't working muscle weakness got again worse in my legs and I started literally wondering if I was dying, I had such severe fatigue that I slept every moment I wasn't working, bleed very badly during my period or with just mild trauma worrying my dentist so badly that he sent a letter to my doctor suggesting a possible bleeding disorder. I was going into shakes from low sugar and low sodium frequently but at the time had no idea why I would start shaking multiple times a day. Myoclonic epilepsy started and has progressively gotten worse, Dystonia started up, I started getting intestinal obstructions more often and more gastroparesis symptoms with the nausea and vomiting, sometimes cyclic vomiting. I developed a limp and went onto forearm crutches which eventually progressed to paralysis.

I have always had issues with dislocations of joints and spinal manifestations like scoliosis, Craniocervical and Atlantoaxial instability. I’m prone to non cancerous masses that could be cancerous one day including masses in my breasts, heals and between the vertebrates in my spine. My memory has deteriorated and I now have issues which I call temporary blindness when I turn my head a certain way which pinches my already compressed brainstem kinking it off so my vision is interrupted. With Systemic Mastocitosis I deal with allergic reaction type symptoms such as anaphylaxis, overproduction of mucus, coughing, hives, swelling, rashes, itching, hot flashes, flushing and more. I overheat and have hyperhidrosis. I have muscle spasms from the paralysis, dry mouth from the meds, in addition to the heart arrhythmias and trouble controlling my body temperature from the damage to my autonomic nervous system failure I have swelling of my abdomen, extreme thirst, bladder retention, abdominal cramping and more.

There are endless symptoms associated with EDS and it’s comorbidities which has a huge impact on your social life. You can't do the things you used to do and may come up with new hobbies and later deal with the grief associated with losing the ability to do those hobbies, in turn having to find new hobbies. You lose all or almost all of your friends because they don't like what you have become, the things you used to be able to do with them and no longer can, they don't understand if you need to cancel plans, when you lose the ability to drive they drop you cold because they don't want to pick you up many of us deal with the realization of how badly we wanted friends growing up due to our social awkwardness that resulted from our illness, time spent in the hospital, maturing more quickly, as well as the result of decades of medical abuse and neglect which in most of us has resulted in complex PTSD.

Almost all EDS patients are either on the Autism Spectrum, diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder which some associate with social awkwardness and also the intense need for us to please people meaning many EDS patients were known as extremely hard and dedicated workers when working or in school as well as very dedicated to friends and families. We basically give our friends the clothes off of our backs meaning that most of us unknowingly befriend people who use us and are in take take take relationships where we give everything we have into a friendship or relationship while the other person gives little back resulting in most of us losing all or almost every friend we had when we get sick and no longer have anything to give. When we are no longer able to do for others those people quickly jump ship leaving us with no friends. Most of us have this very similar personality type due to our history of growing up quickly along with the shared comorbidity of Autism, OCD, and Complex PTSD.

There are countless symptoms associated with EDS and they are different for each individual. Even in my case alone these are only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to symptoms I have experienced alone so EDS isn't an easy condition to live with physically or emotionally and the diagnosis can be quite the pill to swallow with little understanding from friends, sometimes family or even the medical community.

[skullsandwineglasses]

The Graduate Experience in CDrama Go Go Squid

Besides being a really wholesome (albeit a little cliched) drama, it’s also a really relatable drama. I’ve never really related to shows, dramas, or movies that talked about high school life or college life because my experience was vastly different and a lot more underwhelming. 

But Go Go Squid’s depiction of Tong Nian as a graduate-level computer science student who’s about to start her PhD is a simple but relatable one. Despite being a master’s student in China, her responsibilities as a student are a lot like mine here in North America. She travels to conferences, she presents at her school’s colloquium, she supervises tutorials, and invigilates exams. 

Her schedule is flexible and largely self-directed, as seen when she’s able to make time to spend at Han Shangyan’s training center several times a week, and was even able to spontaneously fly out to Sanya for a weekend to see HSY. I had a friend in my department who flew out to Cuba for 5 days with her family in the middle of the semester because she was able to re-arrange her schedule as a grad student. 

I also liked how it showed that you don’t need to work in a traditional biology or chemistry wet lab in order to be considered a STEM graduate research student. There are different forms of research, such as theoretical research, which can largely be done remotely. I relate to this as a psychology graduate student - a psychology graduate student who studies the psychology of narrative and conversation no less. It’s often difficult to explain to people what I research and why it’s valuable, so I really liked how the drama showed that these niche fields are still respectable and impressive. I also got a laugh when HSY’s step-mom asked him what Tong Nian was going to do after she graduates and he had no idea until he called her to ask, and she said that she was originally going to find work, but decided to continue with a PhD. I’ve had the same conversation so many times with relatives who keep asking what I’m going to do for a living, and why I’m still in school. 

The drama shows that being a graduate student is a well-respected career path. Tong Nian is a gifted student who started university at 15 and is now about to graduate from her Master’s at 19/20. But as a gifted student, she chose to go into research instead of professional school. I often forget what an accomplishment it is to be a research student. Maybe it’s my impostor syndrome talking but it sometimes feel graduate school isn’t an achievement because the application process isn’t as a rigorous as say that of applying to a professional school such as medicine, dental or law. I came from a bachelor’s program that was unofficially a pre-med program. Over 70% of graduates from the program each year are admitted to medical school, and so going to graduate school for a Master’s is often viewed as being a backup plan. And so it often feels like doing research is undervalued and underappreciated. Of course, undergraduate students want to get as much research experience as they can in order to impress the admissions committee at medical schools, but research often isn’t seen as an attractive career option for these students. Either way, we need to remember higher education is a huge privilege that we tend to take for granted. There are many people who don’t have the means of attending university, and yet here I am complaining about feeling inadequate.

I think one of the most unrelatable part of the drama’s depiction of graduate life is how the lecture halls have windows where HSY can just stand outside with a bouquet of wild flowers and wave to Tong Nian as she invigilates an exam. Our lecture halls don’t have windows for this very reason - because it’s so distracting. Made for a cute scene though.

The other unrealistic aspect of the drama was how much time Tong Nian has. Yes, I said that grad students can be flexible with their schedule, but that doesn’t mean you’re not busy. You have lab meetings, one-on-one research meetings with your advisor at least twice a week to update on the progress of data collection and analysis, you have meetings with the undergraduate students you supervise, you attend talks, you write literature reviews to serve as the introduction for papers that you hope to submit to journals for publication, you write applications for grants and to attend conferences, you have meetings with the profs you TA for (which I suppose was briefly shown in Go Go Squid when all the TAs gathered together to hand in the exams they invigilated), and the list goes on. But this part of the drama is forgivable since you wouldn’t have a drama if the writers spent most of the time trying to create an accurate portrayal of grad life. 

[littlepanduh-writes-365]

Day 44

Title: “Paradigm Shift”

Description: During a gaming session, Sooyoung gives some exciting news that makes Hyejoo think about her life.

Features: Sooyoung X Hyunjin X Olivia Hye, slight Hyewon(Loona)

Word Count: 2,325

Tags: Fluff | College AU

(image from Pinterest)

“Yo, Hyejoo. Wanna join for some Mario Kart tonight?”

“Sorry, Hyun. I’m kinda busy tonight. Maybe another time?”

“Gang Beasts tonight? Sooyoung’s joining, too.”

“I’m not in the mood. Sorry. Maybe another time?”

“Hyejoo. Come join us for some Rainbow Six.”

For once, Hyejoo is interested, but there’s a blank document in front of her and its paired midnight deadline convinced her not to play.

“Sorry, Soo. I have a paper due at midnight. Next time?” The college student genuinely wishes she didn’t procrastinate this bad. 

I know it looks this way, but the three sisters aren’t that distant with each other. After Sooyoung and Hyunjin left for university, they didn’t see each other as often, but still bonded through online gaming.

It all started when they were younger. Sooyoung had granted Hyunjin the responsibility of taking care of her Nintendogs when she went to a summer camp. Usually Hyejoo, too young to play, would sit next to her and sometimes they switched off taking care of the Sharpei they virtually adopted. 

As they grew up, their tastes for video games changed as well. Sooyoung mostly grew out of them, having to take care of her younger siblings and started pursuing dancing. Of course, during college, she wouldn’t hesitate to join in party games, like Just Dance and trivia games. Hyunjin became a sports star, but still played video games. She enjoyed low-stress, life simulation games, but also occasionally played FIFA with her teammates. 

Hyejoo had a funny relationship with extracurricular activities. Growing up, she was always dragged into watching her sisters’ dance recitals or soccer games, so she tended to have low energy. She tried dance and soccer and actually showed potential in both hobbies, but had no interest or motivation in either. By the time she was in high school, she only continued what she enjoyed, which was just playing video games. She specifically enjoyed shooting and battle royale games, but she could play anything. 

As both Sooyoung and Hyunjin transitioned into university and adult life, they tried their best keeping in touch with their youngest sister. When video calls became awkward, Hyunjin brought up the idea of playing Mario Kart online together and talking through Discord. Sooyoung had to go buy herself a Switch and Hyejoo didn’t like the idea of spending more than 30 minutes talking to her sisters, but the experience was a pleasant surprise. The two older siblings couldn’t help enjoying the serotonin boost they would get when hearing competitive Hyejoo screaming and threatening them with embarrassing secrets from the past when Hyunjin threw a Blue Shell or Sooyoung Bullet Bill-ed past her. An hour passed and Hyunjin was ready to log out, but couldn’t resist it when Hyejoo asked, “One more round?” 

The gaming continued when Hyejoo went to university. Even though it wasn’t their style, the three of them would play whatever was popular and multiplayer, whether it be PUBG or Smash. 

Eventually, scheduling time to play with Hyejoo was a little unsuccessful. In her last year of university, she became busy with school and actually became more social. You could catch her playing intramural soccer or at the dance studio. She was even dating someone and worked at a nearby bakery. Hyejoo could’ve made time for her siblings, but replaying the same courses and campaigns for hours wasn’t stimulating enough for her. 

Tonight’s a little different. It’d been nearly 2 months since she spoke to her sisters and Gowon was scolding her to spend time with them. Even though her computer was starting to run slow, she downloaded the new zombie game Sooyoung mentioned and logged onto her Discord account.

“Nice of you to finally join us, Hyejoo.” Sooyoung naturally scolds her first. 

“I know. I thought you were going to abandon us.” Hyunjin spoke in a higher tone and it made Hyejoo cringe. 

“Stop being fucking dramatic, Soo. I’m busy with school.”

Hyunjin scoffs. “You’re busy dating your Minecraft girlfriend. I see you online.”

Hyejoo scowls. She turns around, making sure said girlfriend wasn’t in the room. “She’s my real girlfriend, too, you know?”

Sooyoung just chuckles. “I’ll see it when I believe it. When are you introducing her to mom and dad?”

“I don’t know. Maybe during the next holiday?”

“Can you bring some snacks from your work?” Hyunjin shoves herself in front of the camera, as if trying to corner her little sister. 

“Hyun, that’s not important.”

“What's more important than bread?”

“Kim Jiwoo. That’s what’s more important than bread.”

Hyejoo pinches the bridge of her nose. This was why she didn’t like talking to her sisters for more than 30 minutes. 

“As if, Sooyoung. Jeon Heejin is more superior than Jiwoo, but bread is always on top.”

“You say that now, once you get married, you’re going to change your minds.”

There are two gunshots. 

“Hye! Why’d you shoot us?! We’re on the same team?”

“Can you two simps shut up? I just sacrificed 6 gigabytes of space to play this game with you two.”

To Hyejoo’s surprise, Hyunjin’s avatar punches her character and Sooyoung takes her out with a headshot. Hyejoo’s about to seek revenge until Sooyoung starts talking again. 

“Yah. I’ve seen your Instagram story posts. Once you two get together, you’re gonna be whipped for her, too. It’s in the Ha genetics.”

“For fucks sake, I am dating Gowon! And why would anyone be proud of being whipped?” Hyejoo starts shooting at her sisters but they run away from the lobby before starting a campaign. 

It always starts with small talk. It usually consists of their jobs, what they’re doing on the weekends, and each other’s girlfriends. Hyejoo liked hearing from her sisters, but she couldn’t help but feel a little pathetic hearing about their numerous plans while she just wanted to get through school. Conversations like this is where they found out that Sooyoung became a manager at a well known dance school. The last time they talked, Hyunjin was talking about taking Heejin to Disneyland. Hyejoo was slightly jealous because she wants to spoil Gowon, too, but with the minimum wage she’s earning, she can only afford the new gaming mouse Gowon wanted. 

Like always, she’ll just listen. Listen and shoot. Maybe she’ll learn a new lesson from the mistakes her sisters laugh about, but she’s too busying carrying the team for the most part. 

The three have just finished a round when Hyunjin asks for a break so she can eat. Hyejoo checks her phone to see a few texts from Gowon. 

Sooyoung opens a conversation. “Hey guys, I need to tell you something.” 

“Go right ahead,” Hyejoo says before chugging some water. Hyunjin just hums before biting into some pasta that Heejin brought in about 15 minutes ago. 

“I haven’t told mom and dad, yet because we’re still thinking about it,” Sooyoung takes a deep breath, “Jiwoo and I want to try for a kid.”

Hyejoo stops looking at her phone. She stares at Sooyoung through the screen. “Oh damn. Really?”

Sooyoung offers a smile. Hyejoo can’t help but soften up at the honey dripping out of her sister’s eyes. “Yeah. She keeps talking about how cute her students are so I brought up the conversation. We’re gonna start going to fertilization clinics and adoption centers to see our options. I don’t think anything’s going to happen in the coming year or two, but I just wanted to let you guys know.” She sighs. “I’m kinda excited actually.”

“Congrats, unnie!” Hyunjin lets out a chuckle. “The idea of a little Jiwoo running around and doing taekwondo flips sounds adorable.”

Sooyoung whines. “What about a little Th-ooyoungie dancing in the living room?”

“Don’t ever use that fucking voice again.” Hyejoo grimaces in disgust. 

Hyunjin didn’t spare a pause for disagreement. “I second that.” Sooyoung never used aegyo so it was slightly unbearable hearing that. 

“Whatever.” Sooyoung sighs. “It’s just— it’s kinda surreal thinking about having a kid.”

Hyejoo also agrees. Maybe it’s because she’s looking forward to building her career or the fact that she doesn’t know where to begin in taking care of a kid that the idea of her own children seems foreign. She’s thought about adopting a dog, but a human being?

Hyunjin asks Sooyoung about the logistics, like the future of their current jobs and who would carry the child if they decided to not adopt. 

Hyejoo listens, but her mind gets clouded thinking about a little Sooyoung or Jiwoo running around and giggling and maybe even playing with a little controller. Hyunjin will compete to be the favorite aunt, but she’ll share with Heejin. She knows Gowon will be a better aunt than her, but she still wants to be a part of that kid’s life. Even though she wasn’t the most active, she wants to take that future kid to the park and kick a ball around and teach them pranks. 

The idea warmed Hyejoo’s heart. 

For a second, Hyejoo zones back into the conversation. Sooyoung eggs Hyunjin about finishing dental school so she can start her own family, too. 

Then it hits Hyejoo. 

It’ll still be in the far future, but maybe she needs to grow up a little more. There’s going to be little Sooyoung and soon enough there will be a little Hyunjin. 

Hyejoo needs to stop cursing. Maybe she needs to go home more and keep her parents company. She’ll learn how to cook something besides instant ramen and fried rice. 

Things are going to be different. They’re all growing up. Sooyoung’s moving up positions. Hyunjin is going to finish dental school. Hyejoo was going to graduate soon. 

Hyejoo was more than used to being away from her family during the school year, but then it hits her. 

The two neighboring rooms back home were going to be empty. Her two sisters are eventually going to stop coming home for holidays. 

The three of them are not going to play video games.

It’ll no longer be just the three of them. 

Hyejoo let’s that sink in a little. The days of shooting zombies and racing around Nintendo tracks and visiting each other’s islands will significantly lesson.

The maknae suddenly feels guilty of declining all those game requests. Although all reasons were valid, she feels like she should’ve made more time for her sisters.

She hears Hyunjin whining at something Sooyoung said. Hyejoo flinches a smile, remembering how fifteen years ago, they were bullying each other at the playground.

Some things didn’t change. 

And maybe some things still won’t change.

The future is uncertain and maybe she shouldn’t think too much about it.  

At least she has the present. She can still play with her sisters now. She can play with them next week, next month. 

“Hye? Are you okay? You’ve been pretty quiet.” 

Hyejoo tried to think of a snarky comeback, but couldn't think of anything. Surprisingly, her ego doesn’t get to her and just comes clean. “Yeah. I’m just thinking about a little Sooyoung. It’s kinda cute actually. Congrats, Soo.”

Her two older sisters just stare at her through the camera. “Wow. It must be late. Hyejoo’s being nice. Let’s just do one more round and call it a night.”

Hyejoo scoffs. She wants to curse, but holds herself back. 

-

“You guys down for a few rounds of Smash?”

“Sounds good. Is Hye joining?”

Hyejoo puts down her phone. “Gowonnie.” She nudges the girl next to her. They were watching a variety show together while snuggling. 

Gowon just hums, a little engrossed in the show. 

“I’m gonna go play with my sisters. Is that okay?”

Her girlfriend just smiles and rolls her eyes. “Why do you even ask? You know I’m going to say yes.”

Hyejoo doesn’t want to admit that she just wants to be chummy. “If you had plans in mind, I was just going to reschedule.” 

Gowon just shrugs. “I mean I’m craving fried chicken, but that’s not worth rescheduling.” She then shoves Hyejoo off of her. “Go.”

The younger one grumbles, but makes her way to their gaming room. 

As she turns on the light, she admires the room they have created. On one side, her girlfriend has a pastel setup. It contrasts her black black setup. 

An idea finally sparks in her head. She walks back outside and peaks back into their small living room. 

“Gowonnie, do you want to join us?”

--

“Are you really her girlfriend?”

“Of course she’s my girlfriend. She wouldn’t have been playing with us for the past hour if we’re not dating.” Hyejoo puts her head on Gowon’s shoulder. Hyunjin and Sooyoung are entertained by their little sister’s webcam showing an abandoned chair while Gowon’s webcam showed Hyejoo being soft and protective of a bright and rather crunchy lady.

“She’s not paying you with credits or diamonds or something?”

Gowon giggles. “That sounds like a better bargain.” She turns to her girlfriend and pats her head. “I’m tired of carrying you. Starting next month, I’m expecting 2,000 Battle Points or I’m going to stop doing your laundry.”

Hyunjin chokes on her water. Sooyoung’s jaw dropped. 

Hyejoo pouts. “Park Chaewon.”

“Wow. I like her already. I think mom will like her, too.”

“How did you meet such a nice person, Hye? She’s pretty, too. I didn’t know you had it in you.”

Gowon smiles. “Thank you. It’s nice to know Hyejoo’s siblings are nice.” She turns to Hyejoo. “You should learn something from your sisters. Forget it. I’m upping the payment to 4,000 Battle Points.”

Hyejoo pouts and gives a quick peck on Gowon’s cheek. “Can I pay you with love instead?”

Hyunjin gags. “I don’t know if I’ll get used to this.”

“She got that from you, Hyun. Don’t deny it.” Sooyoung scolds her younger sister.

“You’ve been dating, Jiwoo-unnie longer! She got that from you!”

Gowon giggles. Hyejoo can’t help, but admire her girlfriend. She pleased how well things were coming along. 

--

Socials: Twitter | Curious Cat

[purplesurveys]

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What Rhymes With “AIR”?

1. Are the walls of your room bare or do you have things hanging up there? I have some things on the wall, yes. A few paintings, Audrey Hepburn wall decors, and a poster of Nam Joo Hyuk. I used to have wrestling posters but my mom, ever the control freak, removed them because she didn’t like them. Sigh.

2. When’s the last time you went outside to enjoy the fresh air? I went out this morning to take Cooper to the vet for his anti-rabies shot. I didn’t necessarily do it to enjoy the fresh air, but that came along with the experience as well anyway.

3. Do you watch the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air? I started watching it this month actually! It’s super fun and Will Smith’s physical comedy is hilarious, but it isn’t really the type of show I’d binge-watch given how old the jokes and some of the tropes already are. I definitely don’t dislike it, but I just take longer to watch the episodes.

4. When’s the last time it felt like you were walking on air? Sunday, when I had my virtual grad and found out my parents and aunt and uncle got all my favorite food delivered to the house :) We had baked sushi, baked samgyeopsal, Pancit Malabon, and pichi-pichi that day, aaaaahhhhhh.

5. Have you ever been on air, on a radio station? Very briefly. One of our field trips in high school was a visit to a major broadcasting network, and we we were brought to their AM radio studio. The broadcaster on air at the time – one of my favorites of all time – welcomed us and gave us a chance to say hi on air.

6. Have you ever felt like all of the air was coming out of your lungs? Sure, but I guess it’s more accurate to say that I’ve occasionally felt the sensation of my chest increasingly tightening.

7. Has it seemed as though anything has ever disappeared into thin air? Have you ever pulled an idea out of thin air? The first one, yes. I have this stupid ability to drop a certain thing and have it disappear forever; I hate that it happens to me all the time lol. 

I can relate with the second situation as well; when I was still in school and had to write essays, reaction papers, anything of the sort, I’d wait till the last possible minute to start working on it since it’s by then that the good ideas start pouring in.

8. Have you ever wanted to be on “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire”? Sure. I’ve enjoyed trivia for as long as I can remember, so the show has always been right up my alley.

9. Do you know a billionaire in real life? No. I know a loooot of CEO kids, kids of MNC owners/executives, and kids of political dynasties though...comes with the environment I grew up in and the schools I went to.

10. Would you like to be an heir or heiress to a fortune? I wouldn’t say no to that.

11. Would you be able to successfully get away if you ever came across a bear? The one thing I keep hearing is to stay very still, so I’d be doing my best to do just that. I got no other survival skills though and if there’s apparently anything more that needs to be done during a bear encounter, then I don’t know of them.

12. Where’s your favorite place to go? How long does it take to get there? Hmm I’ve loved going to many places. My favorite vacation spots so far have been Sagada - that’s a 15, 16-hour road trip from Manila; Vigan - 8-hour road trip; and Palawan - an hour or so plane ride from Manila. If we’re taking nearby places, I like going to coffee shops to unwind and have a pastry or two. I don’t have a favorite one; I just go to whichever one’s the nearest to me at the moment.

13. How often do you err on the side of caution? I keep it at a healthy 50/50. There are times I’m okay with taking a big leap, but if I’m not super invested in something anyway and/or if there’s not a lot in it for me, I play it safe.

14. How often do people say they’re angry with you? My life revolves around being a (very cautious) people pleaser and making sure I don’t piss off people. The only people who have told me they’re angry with me are my mom and girlfriend.

15. Do you own any long underwear? I have never heard of these until today. I’d love to live somewhere so cold I need to wear clothes specifically meant to be worn underneath my actual outfit lol

16. How much Tupperware do you own? I’m Filipino, man. Filipino moms practically make it their life’s mission to collect as many Tupperware containers as they can. I’m pretty sure we have a bunch that we didn’t even own to begin with - just magically ended up in our cupboard after all the parties and gatherings we’ve had hahaha.

17. What color is your underwear right now? Green.

18. Do you still sleep with a teddy bear? I never slept with stuffed animals; I preferred pillows.

19. What pair of your shoes has the most wear and tear? In my first year of college the only shoes I owned was a pair of Keds. Used it for everything and it unsurprisingly ended up being super worn out - soles got detached from the shoe and all that. I think we still have it here at home – still destroyed – but it’s been untouched for a while.

20. Do you like to play Solitaire? It was a great boredom buster game for me for a time, especially when phone apps weren’t all that expansive yet. I haven’t played it in many months though.

21. Do you or your family own a full set of silverware? We do.

22. What do you have to take everywhere with you? Phone, wallet, car and house keys. Because of school I’ve also developed a habit of accidentally bringing my laptop nearly everywhere I go – I brought it to the vet once, lol

23. Would you like to visit Delaware? Yes. Delaware actually stands out in my memory because I remember reading in a kids’ almanac many years ago that it was the first to become a US state. Ever since then I’ve kinda bookmarked the place in my head.

24. Last time you received dental care? December. My tooth had been hurting for a couple of months but it became absolutely unbearable by that month so I had to book an emergency appointment days before Christmas. I felt super bad for the hassled dentist (who doubles as a family friend, which made it more embarrassing)... but at that point I was crying myself to sleep every night and would wake up at 3 AM crying in pain, and I would’ve done anything for the toothache to go away. 

25. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be? Somewhere brutally cold.

26. Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? I’ve never been able to relate to this question, lol soz.

27. Are you satisfied sitting here, taking this survey, or would you rather be elsewhere? I’m satisfied for now. I found more potential leads when it came to job-hunting and I’m not feeling too anxious anymore. I’ve been so focused on looking for corporate communications/PR jobs in the private sector that I forgot about the possibility of applying my skills in something I’m even more passionate about - museums! We have a few government agencies focused on museums, culture, and the arts and I definitely see myself performing in the jobs they offer. It’s even better because it’ll help me get my foot in the door in government positions, and as someone who’s indecisive about law it’ll be a great bridge to start with. Guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

28. Last time you sat in a barber’s chair? Early March.

29. Do you own any cans of compressed air? I’m not sure...had to look that up. Maybe we do? Idk. Dad will sometimes hoard random grownup stuff from the hardware store so I’m not ruling this one out.

30. Do you have a swivel chair at your desk? Nope.

31. Do you prefer an armchair or a rocking chair? Rocking chair.

32. Would you rather have a beanbag chair or a hanging swing chair in your room? Hanging swing chair sounds so hipster and awesome lol. I’ve had my time with a beanbag chair anyway.

33. What’s the last non-survey related questionnaire that you had to fill out? SSS form.

34. Are there any crimes that you feel make someone deserving of the electric chair? Not really a death penalty kinda gal, but if anyone had to sit in the electronic chair it’ll be people torturing and abusing animals for fun.

35. Do you know anyone who uses a wheelchair? Yes.

36. Do you know anyone who is on welfare? I probably do.

37. Do you play Modern Warfare? Nopes.

38.   Do you ever feel like life is unfair? It is, objectively. I’m a little pessimistic when it comes to this.

39.   Have you ever visited Times Square? No. I dunno if I wanna go there...it seems so crowded and claustrophobic, not to mention super tourist-y haha. I’d love to visit once just to see the bright lights and the giant ads, but I’d much rather be at museums and historical sites.

40.   Do you tell people to “take care” at the end of a conversation with them? Sometimes. I’ve been saying it a lot more often these days, for obvious reasons.

41.   Where is somewhere that you would like to move to? Canada. But I also feel like if I moved there immediately it would be such a culture shock in terms of the weather, culture, how far away I am from family, etc. and I doubt I would cope well. I suppose I can move to either Vietnam or Singapore first, as kind of like a baby step.

42.   What is something in your home that needs to be repaired? One of the stovetop burners stopped working last night and my dad’s determined to fix that.

43.   What kind of sleepwear do you own? I go to bed in just my normal home clothes; I don’t change to anything else.

44.   What skin care products do you use? Water. ;) I’m one of the lucky ones lol.

45.   Do you have any spyware on your computer? Nope.

46.   Do you own any sportswear? What sports? I have athletic shorts from when I played table tennis.

47.   Do you like Fred Astaire? Sure. I’ve only seen one movie of his (Funny Face) and he was a delight in that.

48.   How long does it take you to prepare a meal? I only ever make instant meals, oops.

49.   Do you know anyone named Pierre? Yes, Eva’s youngest sister is a Pierre. I’m just not sure if it’s also the same spelling.

50.   Are you going nowhere fast? I hope not. I’m giving myself a quick break for now after studying for 18 years straight but like I’m not out of ambition or anything like that at all.

51.   How often do you have a nightmare? Not very. They only show up when I’m going through a depression. My last nightmare was two or so years ago.

52.   How often are you able to catch something in mid-air? It’s unpredictable with me. Some days my reflexes are great but sometimes I’ll just be so clumsy.

53.   What do your lawn chairs look like? Brown and wooden.

54.   How many chairs are at your dining/kitchen table? Six; just right for our family of five.

55.   Favorite type of footwear? Sneakersssssss.

56.   When’s the last time one of your senses were impaired? From what? My left eye still gets irritated from time to time. We never really found out what’s wrong with it; my first checkup happened on the day before lockdown, so we never got to go back. When it starts to act up, I usually have no choice but to wait for it to go away.

57.   Have you ever been in a hot air balloon before? No. I’ve been to hot air balloon festivals though. That’s enough for me haha; I’m not desiring to be in one and be up in the sky.

58.   Do you have a good health care plan? My parents do for us kids.

59.   Last time you went to the hardware store? Months ago.

60.   Have you ever played foursquare before? No. I thought that was just a website. Oops.

61.   Do you own any types of eyewear? I’ve worn a pair of glasses since I was 11. I had needed them much earlier but my mom always thought I was being a sissy and just ‘wanted’ glasses to fit in with other kids. It was such a stupid mindset, and it was so stupid of her to not believe her kid WHO WAS STARTING TO NOT SEE. It was only when I took an eye exam at the school clinic and the school wrote her a letter that she finally believed me, but I had been suffering for a while and could barely read the chalkboard for like two years, which definitely affected my grades. 

62.   What brand of cookware do you have a lot of? Not sure about brands.

63.   Nothing can compare to: Having a complete, loving, and supportive family.

64.   Have you ever worked in a childcare center? I haven’t.

65.   Do you have a “beware of dog” sign on your gate? Nah. I usually say it myself. Kimi never got used to strangers.

66.   Have you ever attended daycare as a child? I guess you can say that? It wasn’t daycare per se but some malls used to have play areas/centers and my mom used to drop me off in those while she ran errands for a few hours. Those aren’t too common nowadays because I guess it’s more dangerous to leave your kids now, even with attendants, but they were a fun part of my childhood.

67.   Are you very aware of your surroundings? I’m honestly a little ditzy so no. I always need a more responsible, more street smart friend by my side especially when I’m going somewhere unfamiliar.

68. Have you ever had an au pair or a nanny before? We used to have househelp, but we never saw them as nannies. A vast majority of them never met my mom’s (extremely high) expectations and quit in a few weeks or months, sometimes even days; the few ones who did eventually wanted better lives for themselves and resigned after a few years, which we didn’t stop them from doing. At some point my mom gave up having help around and realized that ultimately, she’d rather clean up and do chores her way.

69. Do you know anyone who has had an affair? Yes.

70. How much are you willing to spend on airfare? I’ve never bought my own ticket so I don’t know how much they’re supposed to be on average...but I imagine I’m willing to pay a lot of money if it means going to the destinations of my dreams.

71. Who do you care about the most? The friends that I count as family.

72. Are you more likely to choose truth or dare? Truth. I’m too shy to do dares and I’ve never had a problem telling the truth anyway.

73. Have you ever seen the Blair Witch Project before? Yes, a few times.

74. Do you like the name Claire? Would you spell it with or without the I? I love it, it sounds elegant and graceful and it’s one of my favorite names. I prefer it with an I – I don’t know any Clares, actually.

75. Last time you went to a fair? Last week of January.

76. What can be done to make life more fair? Ending world hunger and poverty and making education accessible for all. 

77. How much are you willing to spend on cab fare? Not much. Cab fares should be fair after all.

78. Do you have a lot of flair? To some extent, I guess. I’m certainly not dragging myself down haha.

79. Do you own flare jeans? Nopes.

80. Is there a glare on your computer screen right now? There isn’t.

81. When’s the last time someone glared at you? Sometime in the last week would be a safe guess. My mom will sometimes communicate through glares and I’ve picked up the habit from her as well.

82. What type of hair do you have? (color, length, texture, etc) How often do you wash it? It’s black, quite thick, a bit on the wavy side, and has a tendency to get frizzy when it’s humid. Length-wise, it currently reaches just my collarbones. After a rebonding disaster around a decade ago my hair got a bit dry and it never really recovered from that, so I need to wash my hair with a giant blob of conditioner every time I take a shower otherwise it would get dry and hard.

83. Do you know the difference between a rabbit and a hare? I know hares are larger, but that’s about it.

84. Do you like to eat eclairs? LOVE them.

85. What do you consider to be your lair? My car has served as my safety bubble for so many depressing days in college. That’s why I got a little heartbroken when my dad told me he might have plans to sell it to my aunt (his sister).

86. A female horse is called a mare. What is a male horse called? A baby horse? Stallion; foal. Thank you, kid’s almanacs haha.

87. Have you ever used Nair before? Did it work? I used Veet in middle school when razors still scared me. It worked, but it took a whiiiiile and sometimes it wouldn’t even take all the hair off, so eventually I just started shaving. 

88. Has anyone ever told you to “grow a pair”? No, and no thanks.

89. What is something that you own a pair of? Dogs. 

90. What is a rare quality that you have? Other people will have to answer that. They’re the ones who see me and get to decide what’s rare about me.

91. Last food you pared? I don’t think I’ve done that.

92. Do you know someone who is a debonair? Sure.

93. Do you like to scare others for fun? No.

94. What is something that scares you? The idea of being in a plane crash, for one.

95. Do you like Sonny and Cher? Can’t say I’m a fan or that I’ve listened to anything of theirs.

96. Do you know how to share? Do you like to share? Sure. The only thing I’m a little selfish about is my food lol.

97. Have you ever played a snare drum before? A few times before, yes.

98. What do you do with your spare change? I give them to the tambays who help me get out of parking spots. That or I use it to buy food in school, since everything in UP’s cheap enough to pay with coins.

99. Do you know how to put on a spare tire? No. I’m interested to learn though.

100. Have you ever gotten a spare while bowling before? Yep, it’s happened a few times.

101. When’s the last time you wished someone would spare you the details? A week ago.

102. Do you win games fair and square? Sure. I’ve only cheated once and that was on an exam.

103. Do you know how to find the square root of something? Not anymore. I do have a bunch of perfect squares still memorized, though.

104. What are the characteristics of a square shape? Four equal sides that are also right angles.

105. Have you ever been called a square before? No. I don’t know what that means either, so if I got called that I wouldn’t know how to react.

106. Do you prefer the elevator or the stairs? Elevator.

107. Do you ever stare at other people? Only if it’s a bizarre situation. Once when this drunk guy got arrested in BGC and was being physical with the police, I stared and watched the whole thing. I do try to look away for most scenarios though.

108. How often do you swear? A few times a day.

109. Do you ever “swear on your life”? It’s not a saying that I commonly use, no.

110. What do you like to “tear up”? Eh, I don’t really like tearing up things.

111. What type of wares would you sell? Not interested in sales or business, so that’s a pass for me haha.

112. What kinds of clothing do you like to wear? I like wearing whatever’s trendy, as long as I genuinely like the look.

113. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare before? Never. [a-zebra-is-a-striped-horse]

[fairfieldustudyabroad]

Just Do it! Faculty Led Course in St. Petersburg is Life Changing!

As a first year student at Fairfield University, I never thought I would be able to have the chance to study abroad so early on in my college career. I always heard from other students that I would not be able to go until well into my third year, a fate that seemed so far from my reach. It was only until I was visiting one of the many required FYE (First Year Experience) sessions that I bumped, quite literally, into the Study Abroad table at the clubs and organizations fair. This quick encounter, however, was all it took for Ms. Pivarnik to introduce herself and the many brochures of Fairfield’s beloved study abroad programs. This is when I first heard about the amazing opportunity to travel across the world to Russia for a faculty-led program about the History of St. Petersburg. As I listened intently, I soon found out that in just two weeks I would also receive three credits to complete my second history course requirement. I mean it all sounded too good to be true. Immediately after, I sent a picture of the brochure to my mom as I knew I wanted to be a part of this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. And so, I applied. The giddy excitement I first felt when I learned about this program never left, especially after I found out I had been accepted!

I don’t think the realization of what I was doing and where I was going had hit me until my last final on May 8th. It took me packing up my room to realize I should also be packing for my trip that was in just THREE DAYS! Somehow I managed, and I showed up to the airport to see three other students waiting too. Prior to this encounter, I did not know one person attending this trip as I pinned my hopes on the fact that there would be students who were just as excited to explore the city of St Petersburg. So perhaps a tip I would share is to go up to the other students and just start talking. I know it may seem intimidating but by striking up a conversation with the group of students is what helped most for future day trips and nights out!

Although exhausted, when we finally got off that last flight, I was eager to begin these next ten days in a new, unknown city. Immediately after dropping our bags at the hotel, the group took on the streets as I began to absorb every fleeting sensation that came my way: the sound of Russian people talking, the sight of the beautiful and grand architecture, the touch of the cobblestone bridges. It was a lot to take in but as I continued to soak in all of the small treasures of this beautiful city, I was also amazed by the familiarity. It was as if it was all new but the same. Something I certainly did not expect to feel as I traveled across the globe to a country I have never visited before. I know one of my biggest concerns of the program was how the course would be structured. At the hotel, however, we were all surprised by how comfortable everything already felt to us. Every morning we met at 08:30 for breakfast, with a few exceptions on time, and we would try several traditional Russian dishes-- Blini, pancakes stuffed with cheese or meat; Syrniki, a fried pancake topped with farmer’s cheese or honey; boiled or fried eggs; porridge. While we had the time to eat our delicious breakfasts, Professor Syssoeva would teach us “Survival Russian”, an aspect of the course that soon became my favorite. I was surprised in how by the third day I was already retaining so much of the Russian language. Professor Syssoeva made learning the foreign language enjoyable and easy as she provided every student with a packet of basic words and phrases to practice. Afterwards, the group would get ready for the excursion of the day. The shape of an “O” was constantly spread across my face as I was left gaping at all the beautiful and historical sites we visited.

Professor McFadden and Professor Syssoeva not only picked the best sites for the group to visit, but as well as, amazing tour guides that told us about fortresses, palaces, art and political museums. The information we learned was then reinforced as we would return back to the hotel for our daily seminar. With few assigned readings per day and your honest opinion, these seminars were a great time to share between the group as I got to hear many other students’ perspectives. Following the seminar, the students were given the rest of the day to explore the surrounding city, to go shop in the malls, to go eat with each other and any other activity one saw fit. I LOVED everything about our schedule as the beautiful weather and long hours in the day let the group, and myself, become more familiar with our environment. As I mentioned briefly before, everyday we would have a set excursion for the group. One of my favorite excursions that I need to include was the trip to the Hermitage State Museum. Now, before we took the trek for the nearly three hour tour, I was briefly familiar about the size of the museum. I mean with a thousand rooms, three million pieces of art, and an ambitious eleven years to view each and every piece, I knew it wasn’t going to be a small museum. YET, until you begin to pass each room, then do you begin to realize the magnitude of the place. I mean floor to ceiling, every inch was covered with art spanning from a multitude of time periods. The preservation of this massive art collection over centuries is what is most unbelievable as St.Petersburg aims to protect its art, its culture.

From the time I woke up in the morning to nightfall, my time spent in St. Petersburg was one that left me with so many unforgettable memories. Before this trip, I had known no one and while I wasn’t necessarily nervous about it, I feel incredibly reassured to the group surrounding me. Perhaps one of the best feelings is when you know those around you are just as excited and willing to explore the city around you. Learning about the history and culture of such a prominent Russian city with two passionate professors was a huge aid as I constantly found myself falling in love with St. Petersburg. I cannot recommend enough to any student thinking about wanting to have a taste of study abroad to do this trip! I can firmly say that this trip was one of my top highlights of my first year at Fairfield University— as I brought more than just matryoshka dolls home.

Ema Taglic Psychology, Pre-Dental HI0276 St Petersburg, Russia Class of 2022

[srfanning]

what a heavenly way to die is so good and probably one of my favorite supercorp fics i’ve ever read, i just wanted to drop by and say keep up the great work!!

thanks anon! i really appreciate the encouragement! im trying to write the characters in a way that’s fun and compelling to me, so im glad it comes across as enjoyable to others!

a little while ago another anon asked for a preview of ch 3 but i didnt really have anything to offer. BUT now im right at the halfway point in the chapter. SO. since you were so kind im gonna post a sneak peak on this ask.

Kara pushes a few bites of her cereal around in the milk as she hears the front door close behind Jeremiah. She casts another glance Eliza’s direction before ducking her head and taking another bite. Eliza, still nursing a mug of coffee, turns to the business section of the paper. Kara watches the steam lazily curl into the air for a few moments. She takes a deep breath as she places both palms flat on the table and clears her throat.

Eliza spares her a glance over her glasses before shuffling the paper again, moving past the business headlines in favor of the sports section.

“Mom, how do women have safe sex? Like, together?”

Eliza stills at the question, save for the fluttering of her eyes before they focus back up to where Kara is looking into her mostly empty bowl of milk. A beat passes, and then Eliza is sitting up from the comfortable slouch she had adopted, setting her mug down, and neatly folding the paper to set back down on the table.

Her voice is unassuming when she speaks, “Kara, are you-”

“Gay?” Kara interrupts, wanting to rush through this part of the conversation, “Yeah, really super gay. I’ve known since I was in middle school, and I know I dated that guy Mike back in freshman year but, well, we all make mistakes. And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, I wasn’t scared or anything. Obviously I wasn’t scared, you and Jeremiah have already done this with Alex. But I just didn’t think it was really that important until now. So. Yeah.”

Kara flinches a little at the word vomit, but a warm smile breaks across Eliza’s face as she rests a hand on top of Kara’s, “I was actually just going to ask if you were currently sexually active.”

Kara’s face burns, “Oh. Um. No. Just… asking for future reference?”

“Well,” Eliza says as she affects a posture more suited to the doctor’s office than the breakfast nook, “knowing your own sexual health is the first step to ensuring you and your partner are both safe while engaging in sex. Once you do become sexually active, you should go into the OBGYN at least once a year to be tested for STIs. Maybe more often, depending on your familiarity with your partners.”

Kara’s thankful for the professional tone of the conversation. As it is, she’s already shifting uncomfortably in her chair.

“There are also different barrier methods available to women who sleep with other women,” Eliza continues, “Dental dams are recommended for sex that’s are oral in nature. Particularly when transitioning from one type of oral to another.”

Kara furrows her brow at that last bit and opens her mouth as if to ask, but Eliza just holds up a finger to indicate she’d rather Kara work through that one on her own.

“Condoms are also recommended for-”

“What?!” Kara has to interrupt this time. “What would two women need a condom for?”

But as she asks, Kara connects the dots and immediately flushes at the realization. Eliza just thins her lips as if trying to stop herself from laughing.

“Meticulous hygiene is also important for any items brought into the bedroom experience,” Eliza tacks on as Kara begins to question the benefits of actually having this conversation.

Eliza makes sure she has her gaze before shedding some of her professional bedside manner, “But Kara, at the end of the day, the most important part of sex is communication. Talk to her. Ask about her previous partners. If she’s been tested. Make sure you both understand what the boundaries are. Always, always make sure you have consent. And don’t do something if you both aren’t ready for it.”

Kara averts her eyes out the window, “You’ve really got this whole spiel down.”

Eliza chuckles lightly at that, tilting her head thoughtfully, “Well, we’ve been through this once before with Alex. It’s also my job.”

Kara cracks a smile at her mom’s light-hearted tone, “Yeah, sorry you weren’t able to churn out a straight one.”

Eliza just tsks her tongue and throws an arm around Kara’s shoulders to pull her in for a side hug, “Believe me, Kara. Out of all the things your father and I worry about as parents, our children being gay is genuinely not even on the list.”

She releases her after a warm squeeze and pats Kara’s cheek, “Congratulations, though.”

At Kara’s confused look, Eliza adds, “Coming out. It’s an exercise in love and patience to allow yourself the chance to discover such an important part of who you are. And I might not be the first person you’ve told, but it’s an act of honesty and trust everytime you share who you are with another person. So thank you, and congratulations.”

Kara swallows against the emotion caught in her throat and nods, “Thanks, Mom.”

Eliza smiles again before turning back to her mug of coffee and skimming over the sports headline. Kara assumes that’s the end of the conversation and stands to take her bowl to the sink.

As she’s turning to head upstairs to her room, Eliza’s teasing voice pulls her to a halt.

“Oh, and Kara? Be sure to bring her to the house sometime. Your father and I would love to meet her.”

Kara’s cheeks somehow find a way to burn even hotter as she ducks her head and scrambles up the stairs.

[callmetippytumbles]

Juneteenth

Tippy’s note: So I asked earlier what people would think if I did a Juneteenth story for Halle and Liam.  I saw some for other fandoms and wondered what it would be like for Halle given her background.  The people that responded said they would be cool with that.  This is that story. 

Words Counted: 1,532

Rating: PG, It’s fluffy? Well, it’s not angsty and there is no sex.

Pairing: Liam x MC (Halle)

Halle had just returned to the Royal Chambers for the day.  It was one of her long days.  She had an appearance with Liam earlier, and then they separated for the rest of their schedules.

Now she sat in the living room and was checking a few last minute emails from Justin.  There was one from Madeleine that she didn’t want to answer but she knew she should.

A Skype call rang on her screen, the high pitch digital ringtone echoing through the room. Halle saw that it was from her parents and quickly answered.

“Hey Mom & Dad,” Halle calmly greeted.

She could tell they were calling from Harrold’s dental practice in her mother’s office. Joanne’s Howard degree was hanging prominently behind her as well a large picture of Chaka Khan’s “I Feel For You” album cover art.  

“Good evening, Halle,” Her mother greeted.  “We didn’t get you too late there? Cordonian time is different.”

Halle shook her head. “Nope. It’s 7PM over here.”

“That’s good.”

“How is everything over there?”

“You know,” Harrold chimed in.  “The usual. The practice is still open, Joanie makes sure the bills are paid, and the lights stay on.”

“Well, you guys can always retire here.”

Her parents shifted uneasily in their seats before her father said, “We are still taking it under advisement.”

Halle and Liam have offered for Joanne and Harrold to retire to Cordonia.  Her parents do not entertain the conversation for very long.  The would over every reason under the sun from Harrold’s dental practice to Hakim.  They just weren’t ready.  They still felt young enough to not need to retire.  Just want to.

Harrold quickly changed the subject.  “Anyway, we called because today is Juneteenth!”

“Oh.”

His smile faded, and he took a deep breath.  “You forgot didn’t you.”

“Yeah,” Halle said apologetically.   “When you are a queen of a small country the days kind of blend together sometimes.  Plus, they don’t exactly celebrate Juneteenth over here.”

“What’s Juneteenth?” Liam asked as he walked in carrying a small package. He set the box down and walked over to his wife.  Liam kissed on her cheek.  He went to kiss her lips until he heard Harrold cough.  Liam quickly stood back.

“Sorry, I was talking with my parents.” She gestured to her laptop.

“Hello, Liam,” Joanne greeted.

“Hi, mom!” Liam greeted back.

Joanne pursed her lips.  “I am Joanne or Mrs. Berry to you until I meet Michelle Obama or I meet my grandbaby. Whichever comes first.”

“Mom.”

“Sorry Halle, but you know—“”

“Yes I do,” Halle interrupted.

“Anyway Liam, Juneteenth is an unofficial Black American holiday that commemorates emancipation.” Harrold started to explain.  

If Halle wasn’t doing the explaining of a Black American culture thing and Harrold was around, he was the one who took that on.  As much as the explaining got on his nerves, it was better that he explain it to his son-in-law than have him not know and sound crazy.  His hostility towards his daughter’s choice of husband has lessened over the 9 months since they got married.  Liam’s willingness to learn helped with that a great deal.

“Lincoln freed the slaves in 1863, but that didn’t exactly apply to all of the slaves.  Mostly to those who were close enough to run to Union territory or the North.  The last slaves were freed in Texas in 1865.  Even then people were still not happy about slavery being abolished--”

“That is an understatement--,” Joanne interjected.

“Liam, you can Google ‘Reconstruction’ on your own time.  Point is Black people were free and even when it made people upset we celebrated our freedom and resiliency.”

Liam nodded.

“Did you get the package we sent?” Joanne asked.

Halle raised her eyebrow.  “Package?”

Liam walked over to where the package was and handed it to her.

She held up the package to her computer camera.  “Package.”

Halle looked at the box, but it was already opened.

“This was already opened. Liam did you—“”

“Actually The Royal Guard did. They check all of our packages for threats.”

“Even ours?” Joanne asked.

“Yes.” Liam nodded again before quickly clarifying, “ We don’t think you would hurt us but someone could send something claiming to be you and…”

“Oh,” Joanne said, her usual vibrancy faded.

Everyone sat quietly as they remembered that they aren’t average anymore.

Halle broke the silence.  “Well, I want to see what is in this package.”

She opened the box. Inside, there was a liter size of her, and now Liam’s, favorite shampoo.  Liam smiled as soon as he saw the bottle.  The palace was well stocked now, but another bottle was never unwelcome.  There was also two bottles of red soda. Liam raised his eyebrow at the red drink.

“Mom. Dad. You shouldn’t have.”

“Well, I cannot have my baby girl, queen or no, without the proper accouterments to celebrate Juneteenth.”

“I am definitely going to drink some.  I miss red soda. I miss soda in general.”

“There was one other thing I sent Halle,” Joanne added.

“I got the shampoo.”

“Not that. Check the box.”

Halle checked the box and at the bottom tucked underneath the bottles there was a rolled up piece of fabric. She unfurled it to reveal a black onesie with the words “Happy Juneteenth” on the front of it. Halle held it up for both Liam and her parents to see.

“Isn’t it adorable! For the baby.”

“There is no baby.”

“Not yet,” Liam said.  Halle glared at her husband.  He raised his eyebrows.

“Joanie,” Harrold warned.

“You hush. He said not yet,” She defended.  ”Maybe for next year it could be needed.”

“We’ll see,” Halle deadpanned.

“Anyway, we have to go. I have a 1 o’clock to get to.” Harrold said.

“These books won’t balance themselves.”

“Bye Halle.  Bye Liam,” her parents said.

Halle waved as she closed her laptop and took a deep breath.  Liam stood up to remove his blazer and unloosened his cufflinks.  Halle went to change into something more comfortable than her appropriately fitted blush sheath.  When she went back to the living room, Liam was still staring at the package.

“So June-tenth--”

“Juneteenth,” Halle corrected.

“Juneteenth is important to you and your family.”

“Yeah, it is.”  She sat back on the couch, curling her feet under her.  “When people think of slavery in America, they think of it as a long, long time ago.  400 years is a long time when you think of it as a number.  When you put it into things, you can see…”  Halle played with her fingers as she tried to find the transition to her next point before giving up.

“You know how you can look back over your family history and see nothing but kings and queens?”

Liam nodded.

“My Great-Great-Great-Great-Grandfather was a slave.  That is just 5 degrees of separation between my dad and slavery.  It’s a lot to sit with.”

Liam joined her on the couch.  He wasn’t sure what to make of that.  They don’t teach you what the most appropriate facial expression for talking about slavery in etiquette class.

“I see.  And the red soda?”

Halle shrugged,  “I don’t know for sure.  It has been at every Juneteenth party I have ever been to.  Some people say that the red is connected to West Africa, but I haven’t heard much as to why.”

“Is it a big celebration?”

“For my family it is.  For others, it isn’t.”  

Her husband furrowed his brows in confusion.  

“It’s one thing when you just experience the racism that stems from slavery.  It’s another when your family has lived through it.  So not everyone celebrates it.  Some people don’t know about it, mostly Africans that immigrated to America.”

“Well,” Liam started.  He pulled his wife closer to him, so her head rested on his chest.  “There is still a few hours left in the day.  Want to have a small Juneteenth celebration?”

“Sure.”

“Wait.” He paused.  “What do we do during a Juneteenth celebration?”

Halle sat up.  “There is usually a barbeque.  We eat, spend time with our loved ones and just be thankful that we are alive and free...And crack these babies open.”

Halle handed Liam a soda.  They both could hear the sound of the fizz as they opened the bottles.  Halle took a big gulp of her drink while Liam took a tentative sip.

“Aaaah.  Oh, how I have missed you.” Halle said looking at the bottle.  

She looked over at Liam who was drinking more slowly than she was.

“It’s a taste alright.”

“I know it seems silly,” Halle deflected.

“No, it isn’t silly.  Not in the least.  It is important to you, and now it is important to me.”  He pulled her back onto his chest.  

“Besides, we have to be thankful that we are together and alive.  There were some points last year whether one or both of those things could have been in jeopardy.”

Halle nodded in agreement, “We survived.”

Liam kissed the top of her forehead, and she smiled.  They sat together on the sofa and enjoyed each other’s company for the rest of the night.  Thankful for their lives and each other.

[rawkrr]

Humanity in Sense-making

My Nana survived a brain aneurism when I was in elementary school. She has a history of Alzheimer’s on both sides of her family, as well as Parkinson’s Disease. We were prepared for the possibility of her mental decline. From prior experience, my family knew we needed to be more observant of her actions, such as whenever she forgot her car keys or left the stove on. We believed our time with her would be limited and focused all our attention on her wellbeing.

My Papa started forgetting his keys. He no longer wanted to drive his car. He asked the same question two, three, four times during the same conversation – not because he was hard of hearing, but because he couldn’t remember the answer.

My Papa has dementia, a diagnosis that is a truly cruel joke.

He is an academic at his core. He was accepted to the University of Michigan’s Dental School before he finished his undergraduate degree. He devoured works of history, science, and philosophy. When he wasn’t engulfed in a book, he explored the natural world as an Eagle Scout – guiding people through the wilderness on backpacking trips. Because of him, I developed a deep love of the outdoors. He took me under his wing and taught me how to build a fire, catch and clean a fish, spot constellations, and brought me on my first backpacking trip when I was 11. He is a remarkable photographer. He has loved Nana deeply and taken care of our family every day of his life. Now, he needs to be taken care of. Our family’s system has been irrevocably disrupted.

Society talks about systems analytically. We use the same type of charts and diagrams to make sense of anything from “Inventory of Cars on the Lot,” to “Criminals in Jail.” You can’t account for a life, and the lives consequently impacted by that life, in a graph or a diagram. I realize that isn’t a revolutionary insight, but I think it’s one that we need to be reminded of from time to time.

I was prompted of this when I was talking with my Dad about Nana and Papa – his parents. He was telling me about how Nana is suddenly in a position she has never been in before, namely taking over as Power of Attorney and the legal and financial responsibility that the title carries. She must learn this new system, one that appoints her as the head of household, instead of Papa. If you were to map that out, it appears simple.

You just replace Papa with Nana, and the system should flow in the same way it has for the past 55 years, right? 

Wrong. That diagram doesn’t account for her doing this for the first time. She has had to learn in 6 months what Papa spent his life “taking care of,” all while straddling the physical and emotional stress of caring for him as he slowly fades away from the same disease that killed her mom.

Donella Meadows opens the last chapter of her book Thinking in Systems with this insight: 

“They [systems] are not controllable. They are understandable only in the most general way. The goal, of foreseeing the future exactly and preparing for it perfectly, is unrealizable […] We can never fully understand our world” (Meadows, 168). 

Although I agree with it, it is missing something: humanity. 

Systems are not controllable. The goal of foreseeing the future and preparing for it perfectly is unrealizable. We can never fully understand our world, but we must contend with it every day, because we are a part of it. 

Grappling with a world that cannot be fully understood is exhausting. I think that’s why so many people turn to religion, true crime, or philosophy. At the end of the day, we want answers and to feel like we have control over, or can prepare for, something – but in that process of sensemaking, our humanity is lost.

People become numbers, and graphs, and charts. They are optimized and re-imagined. 729,000 people died from COVID-19. Does that number carry more weight when you take it from macro to micro? When we think of “Criminals in Jail” how does your reaction to that diagram change when you consider the impact their incarceration will have on their families for generations? 

For me, “Dementia Rates in the United States” has taken on a new meaning because my Papa isn’t a number. He is a person who showed me I was capable. He devoted his life to the pursuit of knowledge. 

As designers working with systems, it is imperative to remember the humans represented by each of these numbers, graphs, and charts. “We can’t control systems, or figure them out, but we can dance with them,” (Meadows, 170). Dancing implies a reaction; and ultimately, life isn’t about the decisions we make, it is about the reactions we have. 

[simply-wins-little-sis]

Metal Mouth

Request: Can you do a Winchesters x little sister where the reader (the sister) has to get braces but she’s really nervous and she needs her brothers with her because she thinks nobody will like her with them on

A/N: SURPRISE! You guys are getting a back to back posting package! This is because I feel really bad about part two to Faults and Breaths! Anyway, love, thank you so much for requesting this, and I hope your experience (if you have one or had one) is not as rocky as this one! (This is also a little break from all the emotional stuff I've been putting you through!)

Reminding you wonderful beauties that requests are open and so is the tag list!

Pairings: Sam and Dean x little sister! Reader

Tags: @percussiongirl2017 @metaphysicalmisha @winchesters-favorite-girl @sisterwinchesterwriter @staticweekes @lil-sister-winchester @awkwarderthanaverage @missygun

You nervously played with edge of your flannel. It used to belong to Dean, and you hoped that wearing it would give you a bit of his courage. You quickly shook your leg, and tapped your foot all at once. Sam slowly put his hand on your leg in an attempt to stop you from jittering. He hadn’t looked up from the orthodontist’s waiting room read. Dean was checking out the nurse that kept opening and closing the door to the back room.

You were scheduled to get your braces on today, and to say you were nervous would have been an understatement. Your brothers had been trying to save up money for this since you were a small being. Your teeth were crowding each other, and the dentist warned that you would eventually be in excruciating pain. You told your brothers you could handle it, even trying to use their famous words of “I’m a Winchester” but nevertheless, you were waiting for metal to invade your mouth.

You had been arguing with them since the mention of the appointment was uttered from a slightly sober Dean, and Sam had quickly shut down all conversation with a threat to take away your hunting privileges. You contemplated the look you would have after your mouth was decked out in wires and color rubber bands, and the thought made you shudder. Would you still be beautiful? Your brothers had no idea this was the reason you were fighting them. The idea that your beauty would be warped by the braces that were supposed to help you had haunted your mind since the first introduction appointment.

But, here you sat on the vinyl chairs, awaiting a pretty little thing to call you back and force your mouth to open wide for this short-term life changer. You watched every other tween and teen the young thing called go back. Your mind raced with ways of getting out of your situation. You had finally figured out a plan when the woman came back out the door, calling for you.

“Y/N?” she smiled and looked down at her file again. You didn’t move

Dean looked over to you and waited, as Sam began to place down his magazine.

“Y/N Winchester?” she called again.

“You gonna go or are we just gonna sit here and watch her call you?” Dean asked. You looked up with the biggest puppy dog, tear filled, scared eyes you could muster. “Come on Y/N, it won’t be that bad,” he rolled his orbs.

You sighed and stood. With the last bit of nerves, you felt sizzling in your fingertips, you stepped off with your right foot, and bolted for the door. The plan would have worked, if it weren’t for Sam standing up at the exact same time you had planned to run. You smacked your head right on his soon to be stretching arms.

“Oh my god Y/N! I am so sorry!” Sam laughed as he gripped your arm. You were trying to catch your vision back into place, and regain the original thought process you had. It wasn’t the first time the moose of a man had nearly knocked you over.

The moment was interrupted with the woman chuckling, “So your little miss Y/N? Come on sweetie your chair is ready”.

You looked up to Sam who had ushered you with his hands to pass him. You looked back at Dean who was clearly more focused on the lower areas of the young woman’s backside as she waited for you to follow her.

You began to shake with nerves, and every distorted version of yourself with braces flashed into your mind. You didn’t want any part of yourself to change, even if that meant pain. Sam gave your back a little push and a nod towards the assistant’s place.

You shoved down your thoughts and took some steps which eventually led you back towards the x-ray room. The long process began, and you could feel your heart leaping out of your chest.

The plaster like substance the woman put in your mouth made your stomach sink, and cause a gagging reaction from you. You tried staying strong, but couldn’t help the sinking feeling that began to take over as the process continued.

When you finally moved to the chair where the orthodontist would put the braces in your mouth, you started to panic. You had held it together for so long and now the nerves were returning to torment you once more.

“Can you open your mouth for me sweetheart?” the doctor asked. When he tried reaching towards you, your teeth sank into his hand. He let out a yelp, as his assistant shrieked. You shot up from the chair and ran back out to your brothers.

They both looked up at you and you looked at your feet.

“What’s wrong kiddo?” Dean asked, and you looked up to face his bright eyes.

“I’m a little nervous…do we really have to go through with this?” you asked.

Sam sighed, thinking about all the previous times you had said that. Dean gave a little chuckle.

“Baby girl, are you telling me after all the things you have seen, hunted and killed, you’re scared of a little metal in your mouth?” he asked, gaining a strange look from a mom a few feet away.

“It’s not that…” you replied with a bit of a lip quiver.

“What’s wrong Y/N/N?” Sam asked, grabbing your arm.

You looked down at your shoes again and took in the army green color they were. “What if, what if no one thinks I’m beautiful, and what if it affects the way people see me, or the way I see myself?” you asked.

Sam looked to Dean, finally understanding why their baby sister had put up such a fight with them. You were normally an obedient teenager, and the boys took pride in knowing they raised you to be respectful, so when the arguing had happened, they were shocked and a bit astounded. Now though, now it all fell into place and both your brothers immediately wanted to comfort you.

“Oh sweetheart,” Sam cooed as he pulled you into a hug. You would have pulled away if it weren’t for your need of support.

“Y/N you are always going to be the most beautiful girl on the face of the earth. Everyone can see it, and Sammy and I are always amazed when we look at you. Beauty inside and out, just like we had hoped for, and a little bit of wire and hot glue in your mouth ain’t gonna change that,” Dean smiled, rubbing your arm.

“Bunny you do know that no one is going to even really notice the braces, right? Even if they do, your beauty will always shine through,” Sam smiled into a kiss he placed on the top if your head.

“Thanks guys, I’ve been so worried about this when I shouldn’t have been. All I needed to remember was that the two most important boys think I’m beautiful, and that’s all that should matter,” you smiled.

“Who are these two boys because I’ll kill them if they even lay a hand on your-,” Dean started but you rolled your eyes.

“It’s you and Sam you goof!” you giggled, but then got serious, “They’re gonna put hot glue in my mouth!?”.

Sam’s eyes widened as he gave Dean a slight snarl eye, “No, bug, it’s not hot glue. It’s actually a bonding cement, or it could even be a glue that is branded on to your teeth with a special sort of UV light. It actually might not be a UV light, let me just check this book really quick,” Sam said as he went to reach for the pamphlet he had next to the dental magazine.

“Can you come back with me? Just as extra support?” you asked and they nodded with matching support smiles.

Dean put his hand on your shoulder and Sam led the way, “You got this kiddo!”.

“One more thing,” you tried to hold back your giggles, “You may want to slip the doc an extra twenty”.

“Why?” Sam questioned.

You didn’t get a chance to answer as the doctor stood in front of the chair you had walked back to. “Your daughter bit me!” he growled.

Dean scowled at the thought of being married to Sam, and Sam rubbed the back of his neck, “Uh we’re brothers, and she’s our sister,” Sam explained.

The doctor’s eyes went wide, “I’m so sorry sir,” he stammered.

You gave a devious smile, “Who bit your hand doc?”. He understood the message, and silently moved away so you could get back in the chair.

Your brothers held your hands the entire time. The doctor wasn’t as pleased because he had less space to work, and a bandage on his hand, but it all worked out as well as it could have.

After everything had finished, and you were back home to the bunker, you admired the shiny metal on your teeth. “How do I look?” you asked your brothers, taking a seat at a library table.

“Like a cute little nerd,” Dean smiled. You rolled your eyes as Sam laughed.

You knew he meant that you were as beautiful ever.

“Hey bunny, if you ever bite anyone again, we may have to ground you,” Sam warned. Dean only gave a chuckle in response as you overexaggerated a biting motion.

"Don't shut the little chomper that could down, Sammy!" Dean laughed at his own joke and Sam rolled his eyes.

“OW!” you whined.

“What?” Dean asked, concerned.

“It hurts,” you put your hand to your cheek, and both your brothers shook their heads.

"And it's down," Dean sighed.

[fairfieldstudyabroad-blog]

Chance of a Lifetime - Don’t Miss Out on the May St. Petersburg Faculty Led History Course!

As a first year student at Fairfield University, I never thought I would be able to have the chance to study abroad so early on in my college career. I always heard from other students that I would not be able to go until well into my third year, a fate that seemed so far from my reach. It was only until I was visiting one of the many required FYE (First Year Experience) sessions that I bumped, quite literally, into the Study Abroad table at the clubs and organizations fair. This little misencounter, however, was all it took for Ms. Pivarnik to introduce herself and the many brochures of Fairfield’s beloved study abroad programs. This is when I first heard about the amazing opportunity to travel across the world to Russia for a faculty-led program about the History of St. Petersburg. As I listened intently, I soon found out that in just two weeks I would also receive three credits to complete my second history course requirement. I mean it all sounded too good to be true. Immediately after, I sent a picture of the brochure to my mom as I knew I wanted to be a part of this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. And so, I applied. The giddy excitement I first felt when I learned about this program never left, especially after I found out I had been accepted!

I don’t think the realization of what I was doing and where I was going had hit me until my last final on May 8th. It took me packing up my room to realize I should also be packing for my trip that was in just THREE DAYS! Somehow I managed, and I showed up to the airport to see three other students waiting too. Prior to this encounter, I did not know one person attending this trip as I pinned my hopes on the fact that there would be students who were just as excited to explore the city of St Petersburg. So perhaps a tip I would share is to go up to the other students and just start talking. I know it may seem intimidating but by striking up a conversation with the group of students is what helped most for future day trips and nights out!

Although exhausted, when we finally got off that last flight, I was eager to begin these next ten days in a new, unknown city. Immediately after dropping our bags at the hotel, the group took on the streets as I began to absorb every fleeting sensation that came my way: the sound of Russian people talking, the sight of the beautiful and grand architecture, the touch of the cobblestone bridges. It was a lot to take in but as I continued to soak in all of the small treasures of this beautiful city, I was also amazed by the familiarity. It was as if it was all new but the same. Something I certainly did not expect to feel as I traveled across the globe to a country I have never visited before. I know one of my biggest concerns of the program was how the course would be structured. At the hotel, however, we were all surprised by how comfortable everything already felt to us. Every morning we met at 8:30 for breakfast, with a few exceptions on time, and we would try several traditional Russian dishes-- Blini, pancakes stuffed with cheese or meat; Syrniki, a fried pancake topped with farmer’s cheese or honey; boiled or fried eggs; porridge. While we had the time to eat our delicious breakfasts, Professor Syssoeva would teach us “Survival Russian”, an aspect of the course that soon became my favorite. I was surprised in how by the third day I was already retaining so much of the Russian language. Professor Syssoeva made learning the foreign language enjoyable and easy as she provided every student with a packet of basic words and phrases to practice. Afterwards, the group would get ready for the excursion of the day. The shape of an “O” was constantly spread across my face as I was left gaping at all the beautiful and historical sites we visited.

Professor McFadden and Professor Syssoeva not only picked the best sites for the group to visit, but as well as, amazing tour guides that told us about fortresses, palaces, art and political museums. The information we learned was then reinforced as we would return back to the hostel for our daily seminar. With few assigned readings per day and your honest opinion, these seminars were a great time to share between the group as I got to hear many other students’ perspectives. Following the seminar, the students were given the rest of the day to explore the surrounding city, to go shop in the malls, to go eat with each other and any other activity one saw fit. I LOVED everything about our schedule as the beautiful weather and long hours in the day let the group, and myself, become more familiar with our environment. As I mentioned briefly before, everyday we would have a set excursion for the group.  One of my favorite excursions that I need to include was the trip to the Hermitage State Museum.  Now, before we took the trek for the nearly three hour tour, I was briefly familiar about the size of the museum. I mean with a thousand rooms, three million pieces of art, and an ambitious eleven years to view each and every piece, I knew it wasn’t going to be a small museum. YET, until you begin to pass each room, then do you begin to realize the magnitude of the place. I mean floor to ceiling, every inch was covered with art spanning from a multitude of time periods. The preservation of this massive art collection over centuries is what is most unbelievable as St.Petersburg aims to protect its art, its culture.

From the time I woke up in the morning to nightfall, my time spent in St. Petersburg was one that left me with so many unforgettable memories. Before this trip, I had known no one and while I wasn’t necessarily nervous about it, I feel incredibly reassured to the group surrounding me. Perhaps one of the best feelings is when you know those around you are just as excited and willing to explore the city around you. Learning about the history and culture of such a prominent Russian city with two passionate professors was a huge aid as I constantly found myself falling in love with St. Petersburg. I cannot recommend enough to any student thinking about wanting to have a taste of study abroad to do this trip! I can firmly say that this trip was one of my top highlights of my first year at Fairfield University— as I brought more than just matryoshka dolls home.

Ema Taglic Psychology, Pre-Dental HI0276 St Petersburg, Russia Class of 2022

[tsgmainlinephiladelphia]

PHAMILY ORTHODONTICS: WHERE EVERY PATIENT IS PHAMILY

We had the opportunity to sit down with our SCOUTED Orthodontist, Dr. Debbie Parnes of Phamily Orthodontics, so we may learn more about what makes Phamily Orthodontics such a special practice for our local community along the Main Line, and why you should consider using their services when the time is right for yourself and/or your children.  Here is what Dr. Parnes had to say...

We love Phamily Orthodontics and all that you offer your patients.  You've brought such a refreshing approach to patients who might not necessarily have enjoyed going to the Orthodontist in the past, and now feel so comfortable in the hands of you and the rest of your team! What would you say is your unique approach to making sure your patients are happy with each visit?

When I first joined Dr. Hill’s practice, I was drawn to its openness and that he seemed to know everyone. He would venture from clinic to reception to talk with patients and parents alike. It was important to me to continue to practice with this philosophy. When I acquired the practice and we were re-branding we came up with the tagline “where every patient is Phamily.” This is always our goal – treat everyone like they are family. I’m a mom, a relatively new one at that, and I consider myself a high-maintenance patient when I visit other doctor offices. I want every patient, adult and child, and every parent, to feel like they can be as high-maintenance as they need, and parents especially, as involved as they would like, in their children’s treatment. I understand that orthodontic treatment is a commitment – both a time commitment and a financial one. We have systems in place for our schedule to run as smooth as possible, but at the end of the day, we are a boutique office and cater to individual needs – if someone requires more time and attention to feel comfortable with their treatment, we will provide it. 

Tell me a little bit about your background and how you came to be a part of Phamily Orthodontics? 

I’m originally from the suburbs of New York City, an area very similar to the Main Line. I graduated from Cornell University and then moved to the Philadelphia area to complete dental school at the University of Pennsylvania. While I was in dental school, my husband was completing a co-op through Drexel University in the suburbs. He introduced me to areas outside of West Philadelphia, and I knew that we would want to settle and raise our family here. After dental school, I went on to complete my orthodontic residency at Temple University. While in residency, I met Dr. Hill. He wasn’t quite ready to have a second doctor in his office but we stayed in touch as I went on to work in private practice in NJ. After 3.5 years of private practice, Dr. Hill was ready for me to come on board. We worked together for a year before we swapped roles (#girlboss), and the office became Parnes and Hill Phamily Orthodontics. It’s such a blessing to be able to work side-by-side with someone who has years of experience, but loves to learn about new techniques. I love that our patients get to have two sets of eyes on them – seasoned and fresh! 

What would you say Phamily Orthodontics specializes in most that makes your practice stand out from other orthodontists in the area?

One offering in our practice that is really unique and special is that we offer an appliance called Inbrace. Inbrace consists of braces that go behind the teeth – so they are truly invisible, and a set of specially customized wires that have bends between each tooth to allow for easy flossing and hygiene. They are an awesome alternative to Invisalign, which I also love to work with in our office. Some patients just know that they will not be compliant with a removable appliance like Invisalign, and for those, Inbrace is a great esthetic solution. We are the first provider in Pennsylvania to be able to offer Inbrace to our patients and we are loving the results. I mentioned that we also work with Invisalign, of course. Earlier this year, Invisalign came out with a product called “Invisalign First,” which has unique features to accommodate our youngest patients. While we have traditionally worked with palatal expanders in our young patients and reserved Invisalign for teens and adults, we are excited to now be able to offer Invisalign to patients as young as age 7. Believe it or not, kids are excited about wearing Invisalign, just as they become excited to choose the color of their expander. And even more unbelievable to many parents, they actually wear their Invisalign! We’ve seen great compliance in our youngest patients and love that we can provide them with an option that makes oral hygiene really easy. 

What are the key services you offer your patients? 

We specialize in orthodontic treatment for children, adolescents and adults. We work with traditional metal braces, esthetic ceramic braces, Invisalign removable aligners, and Inbrace lingual appliances. We are an impression-free office (so none of that gooey stuff that may have made you gag as a kid) – we have replaced impressions with an intraoral scanner that essentially stitches together a video of the teeth to create a digital 3D model in just a few minutes. We can use this model to create appliances, as well as for treatment simulations for patients and parents to better understand treatment goals. We also offer digital radiography, which minimizes x-ray exposure. 

What kind of experience do you want each of your patients to have when visiting Phamily Orthodontics?

We want to create an environment that is friendly to all ages, children and adults alike. We want all of our patients to complete treatment with a smile that they enjoy and the feeling that the commitment to treatment was worth it. We are really appreciative of the fact that patients choose us for their orthodontic treatment and it is not an obligation we take lightly. When we have staff meetings and discuss the ins and outs of the practice, the conversation always comes back to what can we do to ensure that we are staying true to our mission that “every patient is Phamily.”

With two locations, one in Wayne and one in Paoli, Phamily Orthodontics has positioned themselves as a convenient and caring practice no matter where you live on the Main Line.  We have trusted Phamily Orthodontics as our scouted practice for TSG Main Line & Philadelphia for the last two years, and we would highly recommend their superb services for you and your family.  Tell them The Scout Guide sent you!

Your Editor,

Laurie M. Wightman

Phamily Orthodontics 

Wayne Location: 247 Conestoga Road, Wayne, PA 

Paoli Location: 250 W. Lancaster Avenue, Paoli, PA 

Phone: 610.644.1222

W: www.phamilyorthodontics.com 

Instagram: @phamilyorthodontics 

[lowcarbnutrients]

How Bad Is Halloween Candy For Your Kids?

Are you going to let your kids have Halloween sweet this year? Will sugar make your kids hyperactive? Or worse-is sugar toxic?

Sugar has lately come to be a hot-button subject. There have been YouTube videos about sugar that have actually gone viral, The Fifth Estate episode that broadcast previously this month, as well as some very warmed arguments between professionals. There have been some rather fiery disputes in between routine individuals, too-check the 738 remarks under this CBC article. Every person appears to have a viewpoint on sugar, as well as those point of views appear to be solid ones.

Trouble is, not also the specialists concur. And there's a lot extra study to be done. However could we all simply wait patiently up until they have actually done all the researches, and also every little thing has actually been clearly determined when and also for all?

No, we cannot.

We have to decide what to place in our children' lunchbox today. We need to make the phone call on birthday celebration treats right now.

So we do the most effective we can. As well as right now, right here's exactly what I'm thinking: sugar is not evil. We are hardwired to crave sugar, from a survival/evolutionary perspective, as well as the fact is, our bodies and minds call for sugar for energy. For that, as well as several other factors, we could refrain from doing away with sugar altogether.

But excess sugar is not a great thing. Excess sugar is most certainly linked with a great deal of health and wellness troubles: excessive weight, dental caries, heart disease, as well as diabetes mellitus, in certain. Minimizing sugar consumption is something we possibly all can, and also should, do. How you can do it? I'll obtain to that in a minute.

Does sugar make youngsters hyperactive?

When my very first boy was little bit, we resided in an apartment in Vancouver. And also my boy was (as well as still is) really, extremely active. Below us lived a lady who was in her fifties, solitary, no youngsters. We had wood floorings. You can see where I'm going below. It was a consistent resource of stress and anxiety to maintain my healthy and balanced, delighted, normally abundant child quiet, and also stop him from adding and also down the halls.

One day my downstairs neighbor asked me, pointedly, if I offered my boy a whole lot of sugar. (I didn't, as well as even when he did have something sugary, it made absolutely no distinction.) She firmly insisted on schooling me regarding the evils of sugar.

It was a really unpleasant conversation.

( Side note: the next people who relocated in were a retired pair of vacant nesters whose 2 boys were all grown up and also they made a factor of saying: DO NOT fret concerning the noise. We would certainly be more concerned if there WASNONE noise originating from your apartment! I gave them big hugs. Often.)

But that's simply my experience. What does the research tell us regarding kids and also sugar as well as hyperactivity?

Well, like lots of things, outcomes have been rather contrasting. A number of years ago a meta-analysis of hundreds of researches on the subject wrapped up there was no link between sugar as well as ADHD.

So why do so numerous moms and dads promise their children get wired on sugar? Some researchers have actually explained this with a theory that certain children are 'sugar delicate.' Which means sugar doesn't have a globally unfavorable impact on all kids-just a few of them.

Another explanation is this: sometimes, we see what we wish to see.

In one specifically exposing study, kids with 'sugar sensitivity' were separated right into two teams. One group was provided sucrose (table sugar), the various other provided synthetic sugar. Their parents were told which compound their youngsters had gotten, then asked to rank their youngsters for hyperactivity. The parents of the sugar group rated their kids' practices as being a lot worse than the sugar team. The punchline: in fact, both groups had actually received sweetener.

That stated, we certainly have a lot more to find out. I review a theory recently that the trouble isn't the immediate response to sugar-instead, it's persistent, extreme sugar consumption that may bring about attention deficit disorder and also ADHD-type behavior by creating changes in the brain's receptors. At this point that's just a theory.

Essentially, I don't believe it's an issue for the majority of children to have Halloween sweet, as soon as a year.Or birthday celebration cake from time to time. I do think if a kid has too much sugar intake all the time, all year round, it can bring about problems. That's not rocket science, right?

How to reduce your family's sugar intake? Well, you might think about cutting out sugar completely for a period of time, to damage the addiction, like a 'sugar detoxification.' Here's just how one author did just that.

Here are other methods to reduce extreme sugar:

Read ingredient labels. If sugar is provided as one of the top ingredients, the item most likely includes a big amount. Avoid.

Eat whole foods that are sweetened by nature (not a factory): fruit, wonderful corn, pleasant potatoes, milk products, for instance, are normally sweet, and also contain a lot of various other excellent stuff, besides.

Reduce sugar in foods you make at home. Attempt new dishes or change your very own. Beginning by lowering sugars slowly, as well as then include seasonings like cinnamon, cardamom, coriander, nutmeg, and ginger. Reward suggestion: spiced foods will taste sweeter if warmed.

Cut down, or eliminate soft drinks, juice, and fruity/sweetened drinks.

The bottom line? It's approximately you exactly how to manage Halloween candy in your home, but my vote is for keeping a year-round sensible technique to controlling sugar consumption ... and also at Halloween, a couple of mini delicious chocolate bars and also rocket sweets are just fine.

( But not those Halloween kisses with the ghosts as well as witches on the orange wrapper. Those are just gross, appropriate?)

Check out even more frightening keys for making this Halloween terrific-ly terrifying.

[swampgallows]

pride month questionnaire just for my own reference

what is your sexuality? biromantic asexual

what do gender do you identify as? cis woman 

how long have you been aware of your sexuality/gender? around 16-17 i knew there was some shit wrong w me lmao, i had always just assumed i was straight but if we’re being real i knew from a pretty young age that i was broken and an alien. only ever had a few crushes [on guys] in my life but generally felt the same way about both men and women

do you have any preferences? big

share a positive memory about coming out! none

how do you feel about pride month? is good. isnt really “for me” but i will keep the glow i feel about it on the inside, like when i wear a favorite pair of underwear

do you participate in pride related events? any other events? no, though i was invited a few times it was by very sexual people who also drink alcohol so it wasnt really my kinda deal. much as i love sk i didnt really care for ladykiller’s sets

how do you feel about lgbtq roles in media? more, more written by lgbtqia people, less about dying and more about living ffs. let them be alive. let them be professional but also lgbtqia, let them be three-dimensional fully fleshed out characters who are also lgbtqia instead of being one-note cardboard cut-outs erected for Diversity

do you feel pride in who you are? not yet.

who has been your supportive idols in your self discovery? lmao

tell us about your first crush? despite kissing and being in a relationship with and having sex with a girl it didnt occur to me that i might be a lil gay until years later when i had a crush on undyne and she had a crush on a girl who became her girlfriend, and i was like “holy shit, you can do that? undyne likes girls? she likes a girl???? that means???? she could like me???? i could also.... like girls???? girls can be girlfriends???”

what sort of advice to have you lgbtq teens? i have no idea, im 27 and i still feel like a teen, do not ask me things 

have you come out to friends and family? sort of. i tried to tell my siblings and my sister said I just hadnt met the right person yet, to which i asked her “oh well youre bi too, you know, you just havent met the right woman yet” stupid fucking bitch. my brother was silent. so was my mother. my dad doesn’t know, i dont think. he asked me “what does this mean, ‘tracer is gay tracer is gay tracer is gay’?” but the conversation got derailed luckily before i could answer

how do you feel about the term “coming out” ? not really up to me i guess. i only use it because i dont really know another term for it

do you believe there is a “closet” to come out of? sort of, i guess. people dont fucking care about asexuality; they complain that “nobody cares that you’re not having sex, theres no need to talk about it” then when i say something like “well im not really a sexual person” or “i dont like sex” all of a sudden it’s “WHAT WHY ARENT YOU HAVING SEX??? WERE YOU RAPED? YOU SHOULD SEE A THERAPIST. HAVE YOU TRIED SEX TOYS?” - my doctor  So like yeah just saying the word “asexual” gets people really fucking riled up, i have to decide whether or not i want to engage in a fucking hour long debate and reveal my traumas and life story if i feel like even saying my orientation so w/e, that’s the closest kind of a closet i can have i guess. granted im not gonna be gunned down in the street for being asexual but i also dont like being incessantly interrogated and armchair pathologized either

any tips on coming out? no. i never really came out to my parents deliberately, my mom just snooped some shit on my facebook and cornered me w a question about it when i was stuck in the car with her

what’s your biggest pet peeve when it comes to lgbtq characterization in media? stop fucking killing them and making them the butt of jokes

what’s your favorite parts of lgbtq characterization in media? “well at least they’re there, i guess”; alternatively, when done well: “that me”

what did your teachers say about the lgbtqa community in school? i have very little recollection. it was mostly about gay men, i dont recall anything on lesbians, and i remember like one time we had a transgender person (calling themselves transsexual, at the time) come and talk to us, but i didn’t even know it was a thing that could be done or even existed so i had no idea what to make of it. but i remember they were there and spoke to us, even now. i basically just remember it happening lol

do you practice safe sex with the same gender? we didnt use dental dams or whatever, and since we didnt use toys we didnt use condoms. i mean i guess it was pretty safe, we were both monogamous and unsexed to all fuck. we washed our hands i guess?

what’s an absolute turn off for you in the opposite/same gender? this is too weird of a question for me to answer. im pretty demi when it comes to romantic shit, i dont feel attraction to people at all really, though i have felt attraction to people i dont know it’s extremely few and far between. like this year i saw two (2) girls i found attractive, not in a sexual way but i thought they were iridescent beings comprised of pure light and couldnt take my eyes off of them. before that i cant even remember the last time somebody stopped me in my tracks or gave me butterflies. i dunno if i have any real active ‘turn-offs’ aside from basic shit (racism, sexism, general shittiness) other than like... sports, i guess. sports and drugs

what’s an absolute turn on for you in the opposite/same gender? big. soft, hug. hairy boys. hairy girls are fine too but it’s more prominently a thing in guys. cool teeth (if you have cool teeth i will remember you)

how do you feel about lgbtq clubs/apps/websites? not for me

how do you feel about the term “queer” ? use it if you like, but respect those that it hurts

how does your country view the lgbtq community? america a fuck

favorite lgbtq actor/actress? fuck dude i dont even have a favorite straight actor or actress

any tips for heterosexual and/or cisgender people on how to handle lgbtq events/news? 1. it’s not for you 2. be proud for them 3. LISTEN TO THEM. SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND JUST LISTEN

what’s the most annoying question you have ever gotten? literally any time i tell a man im ace and he wants to fuck me, like, anything he says after that point is the worst thing

how do you feel about receiving questions about your sexuality/gender im open to answering but i can only speak from my own individual experience, which is a disclaimer i try to give any time anybody asks me shit. im not the best representative for the bi or ace communities or anything lgbtqia in general. i dont like sex and i barely like people. leave me w my monsters

[leaveharmony]

I told ya  the shot with Shinsuke was high-water for pictures of me!  XD

*giggling*  In my defense I wasn’t expecting to take one.

So my day!  Was pretty amazing!  I’ve gotta cut this cos it’s gonna be long :D

I knew Mick (+Noelle) and Bret were gonna be at comic-con this weekend, but as it was so close to the house show we went to last weekend and I had a sore back all week, plus mum's knee was acting up, we weren't sure we'd be able to go.  But last night we concluded that it was a chance we likely wouldn't ever get again, and what the hell.  I pulled my hardcover 1st edition of his first book off the shelf where it's been kept with the others for what...18 years? and packed it up for the trip.  Probably due to all the other distractions it didn't seem as heavy as a 500+ page monster ought to have lol

We actually had a train adventure beforehand, b/c GO transit has expanded service a bit to Barrie, so, there was an 11:02 (or something) train down.  It was literally cheaper for both of us to go down AND BACK on the train than it was for a one way bus trip, just had to  get to Barrie first.  Plus, c'mon, it was a train.  Lol.  I haven't been on a train since kindergarten.  Mum kept giggling her head off every time the whistle blew at a crossing.  We sat facing the wrong way on the trip down, which really made me dizzy so we switched it up for the way home...

Honestly the only minor hiccup in the journey was when we got to Union station, with all the construction, it was a touch confusing finding which way to head to  the PATH over to the convention centre.  As always, a lovely TTC employee guided our way.  Contrary to experiences w/ Fan Expo in the past, the entrance off the PATH walkway into the convention centre proper were actually open today, so we didn't have to go outside in the wind & snow at all.  Usually it's a long wind down a big ramp and then down some stairs, across a little...sort of green sidewalky area and then down more stairs, then walking a few blocks to the spiral parking garage, but this was like...a less than five minute walk.  Aces.

We actually got a little more lost on the convention floor than we had at Union station lol...I ah, temporarily misinterpreted the floor plan map, so we took a slight detour on the way to the signing area.  Mum made me take a picture of a guy dressed like Alf, tacky tourist shirt and all.  I saw a few genderbent Road Hoggs, at least one Lara Croft, three separate and distinct Negans, a few dozen Harleys, a couple in really well-done Skyrim armour...some people went full-steampunk, bustle skirts and all, there was somebody with a baby dressed like pikachu lol.  Many cosplayers.  Bless their hearts, I wouldn’t have the energy.

The only other time we've been to the winter comic-con as opposed to Fan Expo was in like 2003, when we went to go see RVD - it was a much smaller area in a different location and pretty sparsely attended by comparison, though this one on its busiest day was still prolly only half as crowded as FE would be on that saturday.  We went by a few ppl with wheelchairs and mobility scooters who were probably finding it much less of a chore than  usual to navigate because there was actually space to...well, give them space.   Anyway my point being, I got a bit confused because the signing area tends to change from year to year and sometimes even day to day.  This time though it was over by the food court area (I went in the exact opposite direction at first lol)

So we got in Mick's line :)  He and Noelle were sharing a table, next to Bret Hart and uh...somebody I had no idea who the hell he was.  Looked like a default video game character though.  Brunette, white, a little stubble.  Name entirely escapes me. 

A con-worker asked if we were doing a selfie or an autograph, reason being, for autographs you wrote your name on a sticky so you wouldn't have to spell it out to him when you got up there, just show him the sticky - this has gotta be the most genius idea I've ever heard lol B/c when I say ‘spontaneous’ I mean ‘prepared for at least three days in advance,’ on the off chance we made it down to see him, I made a little santa-hat ornament for him on Thursday night.  Bret was away on a break when we got in our line, which moved very slowly because, well.  You'll see.   Another con worker was keeping the line to the left, occasionally walking up and down singing, wearing elf-ear cuffs lol.  I think her name was Bernadette but I'm not 100% certain, it definitely started with a B.  She was, appropriately enough for the ear jewelry, sort of the selfie-elf, someone to take the pictures w/ guest cameras.

As we got closer up it became more apparent why we were moving a little slower than I've previously experienced in such lines - b/c Mick Foley is like...the undisputed champion of making ppl feel like he's known you all your life, and did a lot of chatting w/ everybody who went up.

When it came to our turn, for instance, he was glancing at his phone - he immediately explained at some length that “mom” (I'm assuming he here meant Collette, b/c my father also refers to mum as “mom” when I'm included in the conversation, and Noelle kinda was - but I suppose it may have been his own mother, or mother in law) was having some heavy-drama travel fun of her own lol.  I guess she told him “I had to take a TRAIN!” making it sound, as Mick put it, “Like she was on a frontier trek or a world-tour on the orient express,” but what she actually meant was she had to catch the same shuttle he'd ridden “like 400 times” in the past lol.  He said there would be a lengthy “you wouldn't BELIEVE...” story about it later.  “One for the next book!” I said, laughing.   He segued easily into a hello and a what can I do for you?  So I handed over the book, which was still full of place-markers and dog-ears from the last time I read it. 

He took care of the signing business, and then told me he liked all of my jewelry and stuff (I actually went light on it today).  Noelle chimed in that she did too (she is such a sweetheart).  He summoned over Bernadette to make sure I saw her elf-ear cuffs and light-up necklace lol.

Then he pulled out a little yellow coin purse from his fanny pack (his fanny pack!) asking if I wanted to see his ring.  I sort of assumed it would be like, the HOF ring, and said it was probably fancier than mine.  “I doubt it, it's in here with two of my teeth!” he said cheerfully, and produced instead a ‘horseshoe ring’ made at Santa's Village lol.  He was certain to note that this was not the Santa's Village here in Ontario, but one in the 'states (I found this deeply endearing b/c who the hell knows about our rinky dink little santa's village who didn't grow up here?  As a child on their kid-sized motorized tricycles, I once mistook the handlebar reverse lever for the gas and promptly drove backwards, up over a curb.  I lost that race.  I should have told him that one lol).  Noelle was laughing the whole time b/c she didn't realize he kept the ring with his dental plate.   His ring story was, that I guess when Christy Hemme was getting married she wanted, coincidentally, to give horseshoe rings away as favors to the guests but didn't know where to find them - he happened to overhear, “Did you say you were looking for horseshoe rings?”  “You've come to the right guy!” I volunteered.  So he got in touch w/ his peeps at Santa's village and they sent a whole box of the things.  lol.   “It's getting a little rusty now,” he lamented fondly, spinning it on his finger.   “Yeah, cos you keep it in with your teeth!” said Noelle, still laughing. “That was actually the perfect segueway though,” I said, “Cos I made you something silly.” I handed over the ornament in its little santa-decorated bag (I had one left over that I'd made last christmas, somehow it never got put away, funny how things work out).  He immediately said he loved the bag & asked where I'd found it, I told him I made that too.  He actually asked me if he could open it lol.  I said, of course!

I believe he was quite pleased with the santa-hat ornament lol.  He said, “This is going right in the Christmas Room when we get home tomorrow.”  “Ooh, you made the Christmas Room!” said Noelle. He tucked it back in the bag and couldn't remember how the tie had gone, so I was trying to sort of explain...lol...we were all watching raptly as he tried to re-tie the little bow.  Noelle teasingly offered to help.  “He'll get it,” I said, “I believe in him.”  He did get it, or near enough   <3  and put it in his fanny pack - tbh I'm as proud of making the fanny pack as I am of making the Christmas Room XD

He asked if there was anything else he could do for me and I thought, “Welp!” I explained that I had a friend in the states, who wanted to be a wrestler, and who struggled with depression, like I do, and I thought that maybe he could sign something for her and it might cheer her up a little.  He asked how long I'd/we'd had trouble & I told him...he talked a little about how after so many concussions he'd had some difficulties that way too, but, it can get better.  So hang in there - both of us, hang in there.  “That's not really medical advice, but,” he grinned.  “I'll take it anyway,” I said.   He had a few pictures there for signing - he immediately pulled a Dude Love.  “It's gotta be Dude Love,” he explained.  “Nothing says ‘cheer up’ like Dude Love.” So @yungcrybby-anonymousbosch, I ah, I have a signed Dude Love to send you.  lol.  <3

(I blurred the name on the scan ‘cos you may not want it Generally Known - actually since I didn’t have a sticky I think he just took his best guess and made it a bit deliberately shaky so, if you squint hard enough it could say anything you wanted it to lol)

(Noelle pointed out how cool the coke bottle shades w/ the RAW logo were.  I believe he said they were ‘groovy’)

He asked if we were there for a selfie too - I had trouble stammering an answer b/c of course per the vulture policy that the con operates under, y'have to pay for a selfie separately and b/c we'd gone down last-minute there was no time to grab any more cash than what we had on hand (nor would I have, as I always say, no picture with me in it is worth paying for lol).  He took my meaning though, and made a Nick Fury executive decision about the separate fee, summoning Bernadette again lol.  As I say he’s quite chatty, and at this point got distracted w/ a quick update from another con-worker RE: something he’d sent him to find out, I think.  In the interim we chatted w/ Noelle a little, she asked us if we lived in Toronto.  “We’re up north, actually,” I said, “We actually did take the train!” Anyway, HENCE, why I now have two goofy selfies w/ my mum and Mick Foley, hardcore legend and lord of the sweethearts.   I just realized that it immortalizes my pink kinesio tape lol.  And sensei kinda made the picture too, via my Takeover TO shirt.  Joe is hidden by purse straps though.  No wonder he’s always so angry.

As mum was checking out the selfie w/ Bernadette and stowing her camera, he quietly asked if he could ask about my hand.   “Oh, it's congenital,” I explained.  He pointed out one of the people in the line who I'd actually noticed before, cos he'd gone up to talk to Bernadette at one point, in a wheelchair and missing part of one arm as well - Mick must have talked to him a few times already cos he explained it'd had been a bout of childhood meningitis, resulting in multiple amputations.  I'd actually assumed that when I saw the guy go by, having seen the signs before.   He said, he'd been a little uncertain personally when he decided to cut his hair, 'cos it was the first time his ear had been really exposed/on display in a decade or so.  But, he figured, that differences are important.  “That's not professional advice either,” he said.  I hugged him a little lol.  He said he appreciated us coming all the way down on the train just to see him (I didn’t think he’d even heard that bit) Just as he was turning back to his table and we were saying goodbye, I had to do it - I said “Hey - do me a solid: don't let Smackdown have Nakamura!” He started laughing and noted that might be beyond his pay grade XD So we said our goodbyes to him and Noelle and ...just yay.  :)

Primary mission completed, we went to find something to drink, 'cos we were both pretty parched by that point.  Ended up at one of the quieter food booths, a sorta coffee/sandwich kinda deal.  I had a turkey/tomato/spinach sandwich that I would like to pay special tribute to because it was so fucking good.  lol.  I will love you forever, sandwich, couldn't have made it without ya.

There was a train home at 4:28 but we weren't entirely sure if we'd be able to make it, the alternative being a bus at 7:15.  So we wandered around looking at various booths and things for a while.  Wasn't much there I needed, though it's always interesting to look at stuff.  My nerd ass ended up buying a Sailor Moon pill case, at least 50% because the packaging was in japanese lol.  I bought a cameo sugar skull pendant, too.  Idk where the mental disconnect happened cos I intended to grab a red one to match my Nakamura stuff and ended up like, lizard-braining and taking purple instead.  I guess my heart wanted purple today & overruled the hand.  IT'S STILL NEAT. We also went looking for a sorta...it's like a sized-up card protector, for 9x11's or whatever the size of the Dude Love picture is lol.  I didn't want to put it in my backpack unprotected cos it 100% would have gotten beaten to hell in there, especially w/ like 5lbs of Foley antecdotes to contend with.  It’s win-win cos I can mail it that way, too.  We tried one place first & they didn’t have one, but drew us a map on the con floor plan to someone who did hahaha.  So we had a side-quest, to follow, too.

We did, actually, end up making the early train home...I can't tell you what luxury it was to be home by the time the bus would have been -leaving-

But yeah...yeah.  That was a hell of a nice day.

[kyliesolis]

I Adopted A Dog! :)

I have wanted a dog for so long. So long. There were so many times when it wasn’t the right time, college when I was living in a dorm, and when I was so busy I couldn’t think straight, with almost crippling anxiety, and the time after college when I wanted to move to Germany, and then did. But for a while now I have been back. I have been wanting a dog. I have been telling myself that I shouldn’t get one for a variety of reasons. I have been looking at dogs on Petfinder and other adoption sites “just to look” as some form of perverse torture I have been inflicting on myself. I have been sitting by the pool, and by the fire, or walking around the park or the neighborhood, thinking, it sure would be nice to have a dog right now, and being sad about the fact that I shouldn’t get one for whatever dumb reason.

Then there was this day where Ron, my husband, showed me a picture of a “cute” dog on the local pounds website. She was a little poodle mix. He was funny about it, saying “oh, we could go check her out tomorrow.” But I know a bit about how pounds work, especially when the dog you are wanting to adopt is not a pit bull mix, so I insisted on going now.

The car ride was nerve-wracking because it took too long. I remember seeing a trucking sign that had a dog on it and being so glad we were there, then waiting ten more agonizing minutes because we weren’t.

In the end, it took forever to get there. We walked up to the guy at the desk, nervous, and asked to meet the dog we had seen online. The guy sent us to the waiting area, but then called us back, saying to go through the dog enclosures and find her, and bring her papers back.

We walked back through the sad, precious, yelping dogs. When we got to the cage where she was supposed to be the cage was empty and her papers were gone. If you’ve been to a pound you probably know what this means. I had a feeling, but we stood there anyway, waiting hopelessly. Then she came back, in the arms of another man. He was adopting her.

We walked back to the main desk sadly. We were prepared to leave. We thought maybe this was a sign getting a dog wasn’t meant to be right now. Maybe this happened for a reason. But I was so sad, and I had felt so purely, blissfully happy when we were headed to the pound. So even though walking through the whole pound would be a difficult and sad experience, we decided to do it anyway. Just in case we saw another dog that made us feel the same way.

We walked past about 20 sad, abandoned, pit bulls. Many of whom had pooped in their enclosure and rolled in it. We passed a lot of sad chihuahua’s, some howling hounds, a beagle-hound, about 20 more pit bulls, and while I love all of these dog types, our studio apartment wouldn’t have been the home for them. Then we saw a little dog, just laying in her enclosure. She looked sad. I sat next to her. Saw her stupid name, (which I won’t repeat for her safety, because she was seized from neglectful owners). I said hello, offered her my fingers. She looked at me, but just lay there. I sat there for a while, making soft sounds at her. Ron and I watched her, talked to her. We researched her assumed breeds a bit. Then we decided to pull her papers and ask to interact with her.

We took the papers to the kind man at the desk, and he sent us back there, saying someone would come. We sat there on the outside of her cage for a long time before someone finally came to let us take her out. Watching her flinch as the other dogs bark.

She didn’t want to walk when the person came to take her for a visit with us, she had to be carried. She made what I thought was a growl— which I didn’t blame her for– given her circumstances— but was actually a snorfle, when the woman picked her up.

Then we were taken to an only partially outdoor area. She sniffed around a bit, and went potty. We gave her some time, just chilling there with her. Talking to her. Then she came up and sniffed our hands. We slowly but surely fell in love with her. Ron said “I think we’d like to adopt her,” to the woman, and I felt so happy. We sat there with her a few more minutes, letting her sniff our hands more. Then I said, just to be sure because it seemed too good to be true, “you want to get her right?”

We “pre-adopted” her. She had only just arrived today. She still needed a checkup, shots, and spaying. And she needed a bath too. We were told that we could “pre adopt” her now, and in a few days, if she was medically cleared, we could come pick her up.

We went home so happy, Ron told his parents the story. We began to half enjoy our weekend, half wonder about our dog, or in my case 10% and 90%. I just wanted her home, where we could know she was okay. Was it okay to call the pound for updates? Visit her to make sure she was okay? (yes, no). She was always on my mind. I obsessively looked at the pictures I had taken of her, wondering if she was okay, what she was doing, if she was scared, thinking we didn’t want her, et cetera. I was actively missing her when she wasn’t even our pet yet.

We began bouncing names off each other, Ruby? Thea? Zinnia? Willow? A bunch of others I don’t remember. We decided on one surprisingly quick.

That Saturday we went to the pet store to get her possessions. They were really nice about it, giving us a book of coupons since we were adopting a dog. We got a bed, crate, some treats, some food, a hairbrush, a cute squeaky toy, a Kong, a crate. A lady who had seemed grumpy at first got really into helping us pick out the treats and giving us advice based on her dogs, who were also rescues. We got a collar and printed a name tag.

We shouldn’t have done that. Rescuing can be a heartbreaking process, I will warn you now. Don’t buy the things until you know you can get the dog, i.e. the dog and the adoption papers are in your arms.

We set out our future dogs possessions in our house, but were at least smart enough to leave the labels on them just in case. There was an unoccupied dog bed with a cute red toy shaped like a dachshund. Also a cute water bowl and food bowl. Just sitting there, waiting for our dog.

We started calling the pound but they never had new information. Sunday became Monday and we began checking our dog’s online profile obsessively. We made sure they had listed her as “pre-adopted.” We watched as they changed her gender from “female” to “male-neutered.” We wondered if it was a mistake. We looked at the dog we originally came for’s page and saw that she had heartworms and dental disease. We saw the pounds warnings that heartworms and the treatment are potentially fatal and that both heart-worms and dental disease can be very expensive to treat, and that this would be discussed with the future owner at pickup. We felt so bad for that dog, and for her future owner, wondering if he would still get her. Not because we wanted her, once we met our dog we knew we had somehow lucked into finding the best dog for us, but because we thought it was sad and that he probably wouldn’t get her. Then Ron looked at our dog’s site again and saw the same diagnosis posted.

I cried all day. I researched the sicknesses, saw the potentially thousands of dollars it could cost, sought council from my wonderful aunt who regularly rescues pets that are elderly or have significant medical issues.  Realized that we probably shouldn’t get our dog.

We tried to talk ourselves into and out of it. I don’t think I realized just how badly I wanted a dog until there was a hole in my heart where one that we had only spent about an hour with was.

I told my close friends and family who I had told about the adoption what was going on. They were all kind, and all had different advice. Most of them said I probably shouldn’t get this dog, but another one would come along. My mom—incredibly kindly— offered to help me pay for any medical bills which was the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me, but I would have felt guilty accepting this offer. Some of them suggested getting a puppy from a breeder to avoid this heartache. I will freely admit that I strongly considered it, and now understand a bit more why people choose to do so AS LONG AS THEY GO TO A REPUTABLE BREEDER WHO ALLOWS THEM TO MEET ALL THE DOGS INVOLVED AND SEE WITH THEIR OWN EYES BY PHYSICALLY GOING TO THE PLACE WHERE THE DOGS LIVE AND MEETING EACH AND EVERY DOG THAT THEY ARE LOVED AND CARED FOR LIKE ANY OTHER PET WOULD BE. Do I need to repeat that for the people in the back? No, okay. Anyway, a very sad night passed.

We called the pound but they had no information, only that our dog was indeed a boy, not a girl. Apparently, they had just guessed he was a girl without checking, but upon going to fix him, well, you get the picture.

Then it was the next day. We called the pound as soon as they opened, and they wouldn’t give any information over the phone, insisting we come in to talk about it. I knew this would be a mistake because I know myself and I know that as soon as I saw our dog I would scoop him into my arms and never let go no matter how many dollar signs were involved. So I said that we should wait until Ron could get off work and go in together. He was able to get off early, and I went in armed with the hope that I wouldn’t cry and a long list of questions.

We got there and they brought us to the customer service area, acting like it was a normal adoption, saying they would bring our dog out as soon as he was available. I hesitantly brought up our concerns, and they gave us some paperwork about the sicknesses to look over and said that a vet tech would come out to talk to us. They were acting like it was no big deal though, which had us kind of thrown because the information posted online on his adoption profile had sounded so dire.

I don’t remember much from the conversation, other than that he had already been treated for heartworms, and that the treatment has a 95% success rate, but we will have to test him again for heartworms in six months. The vet tech recommended a clinic with much lower costs for dental work. We asked to see his teeth and they looked surprisingly good, mostly white, with just a bit of browning on the back teeth.

So we left the pound with our dog and brought him home.

In hindsight, I would like to say that I respect the pound and why they do what they do, the fact that they warn of the worst-case scenario in case the people adopting the dogs are not prepared for that scenario is a good thing, but it probably scares a lot of people away from dogs that could have been perfectly fine. They do that for a reason though, they don’t want those dogs to end up back in the pound a few weeks, months, or years later, and they don’t want those dogs to be kept but neglected by owners who love them too dearly to get rid of them but can’t afford to pay their medical bills.

Our dog is now at home with us and we love him so much. He is happy but shy, which I don’t blame him for at all, and he is showing remarkable bravery every day as he hides for a little less time. Naturally I have taken hundreds of pictures and want to show them to you but I won’t be posting any of them publicly for a few months because of the circumstances surrounding the adoption. I also don’t want to say what breed he is or what he looks like for the same reason, so thanks for understanding. Also, most of the stuff we bought for him when we thought he was a girl was actually pretty gender neutral so we didn’t even have to return it.

In the end, I think I will still adopt my future dogs because I think it is the right thing to do, but if my experience has made you feel like though you want a dog, your heart is too fragile for the rescue process, then know that I understand as long as you do it the right way, which I alluded to above, but you should research more on your own because there are a lot of dogs who end up in horrible situations care of bad breeders.