#my mom was also next to me for that. i cried so hard she got really concerned at some point that i would never stop

[asterbats]

drew my new kitten as a “warmup” but have to stop here because shes being a rascal

[townslore]

i dont know why but one of my favourite lines from goro are “lets make a deal, okay? you wont say no, will you?”

i dont know it just. it sounds kind of.. intimate to me? like, this is kind of the only deal akira makes with goro.. at the end of his confidant. every other confidant starts with a deal; something akira has to fullfil for the other person, getting something in return. after that, their bond is strong, but.. they have no reason to meet up anymore, basically, at least on the surface level.

it was never like that with goro. they just hung out for the sake of it. akira listened to him because he wanted to, not because goro asked him to as part of a deal. and the part that sounds intimate is just.. well, the “okay?” sounds very soft, but then theres the “you wont say no, will you?”

its all so. familiar. goro knows akira will do this for him.

goro knows akira.

[baby-yongbok]

𝘗𝘪𝘯𝘬 + 𝘞𝘩𝘪𝘵𝘦

Hwang Hyunjin 𝗑 Afab!Reader

♡ Genre - Friends to Lovers

♡ CW - Explicit Sexual Content, Unprotected Sex, Nightmares, Alcohol usage by reader, Hyunjin calls reader rose as a nickname, One use of 'y/n'.

♡ Summary - Your avoidant tendencies have allowed the burn of pink and white to keep you Hyunjin at a safe distance until it all comes crashing down. Can the fire that kept you apart also be what brings you together?

♡ Word Count - 9.2k

♡ A/N - I went from not being sure if I liked this fic to being in love with it. I think that it's a very sweet fic and I loved writing it. I worked so hard on it and I'm so proud of it. The goal was for it to be 4k words.. then I almost posted it at 8k but now... yeah. I hope that you love this as much as I do!

♡ Playlist - Pink + White - Frank Ocean, Rainy Days - V, For Us - V, Beautiful Things - Benson Boone, Trajectories - Bruno Major

✧ Masterlist ✧

When you were six years old you punched a boy in the face on the playground. That was the first time that you ever felt the burn of genuine fear.

Your mom along with the many others came swirling around them. When your mother asked you what happened you cried. You clung to her running over to you and the crying brunette boy on the playground with a mix of emotions and explained the best you could through your tears that you didn’t like that he was chasing you, when you agreed to play tag you thought that you’d be the chaser not the one being chased.

That was the day that you learned two things about yourself, you have a habit of acting impulsively when you’re scared and you don’t like being chased. It's suffocating.

As you got older your friends described you as the avoidant type, especially in relationships. You developed a reputation for being an ice queen in your Sophomore year of university which led to you being one of the most sought after girls on campus. 

You’ve lost friends because of this. Their boyfriends saw getting close to them as a gateway to meeting you. Many guys took dating you as a challenge with an end prize of overnight popularity. Unfortunately, some of your closest relationships have been destroyed because of it. You learned not to be sad about it, you’ve come to terms with it, this is just the way that it goes. Of course your other friends were all important to you but you always told yourself that you’re alright with losing them as long as you have your best friend by your side. 

“More roses? Are you in love or something?” You weaved through the cluttered art studio that Hyunjin has claimed as his own. It’s on the dead side of campus on the second floor of a building that was abandoned last year. Your best friend refused to let the studio go when it was shut down, he says that it houses some of his fondest memories. 

“Always in love, never loved back.” He quips, eyes still trained on the canvas. “You’re early.”

You jump up onto one of the few clear desks in the room, right behind his easel. “Chemistry ended early.” Hyunjin stands straight, eyeing his canvas for a second before looking over at you. He knows that you’re skipping class. Your last hook-up is in that class and you're trying to avoid his attempt at getting you in his bed again. If you’re being honest, the decision to sleep with him was impulsive. You blame the beer, all eight of them.

“I thought that we could go to the exhibition early.” He starts another brush stroke and silence swallows you both. “I’m excited about it and if I’m being honest I just wanna spend time with you. I’ve barely seen you for the past three days.”

Hyunjin’s steady hand wavers and he thanks his lucky stars that you didn’t see it. “Aw she misses me. She loves me so much.” The sound of your feet hitting the ground as you jump off of the desk echoes through the dusty room of stacked chairs and forgotten storage items. 

Hyunjin stands and dips the paint brush covered in bright pink in the cup of water next to him. “You could’ve come to my place ya know.” You grab your stuff, swinging your bag onto your shoulder. 

“Your brother is there, you know how he gets.” You scrunch your face at the thought of Hyunjin’s step brother, Jeongin. The two of you get along perfectly, almost as well as you and Hyunjin until Jeongin starts flirting. He confessed to you on New Years and you’ve been avoiding him ever since. He’s too sweet for you, you’d hate to hurt him. “I’m gonna go change, I’ll meet you by your car.”

“You brought a costume change for an art exhibit?” He asks as he starts cleaning his space.

“Of course, I need to look like art too.” You smile at him but he doesn’t smile back, he rolls his eyes and turns his attention back to the mess of paints and rags on the desk in front of him. He waits until he hears the door open and close behind you to finally let the corners of his mouth turn up. He chuckles to himself quietly while his mind comes up with responses that he’d never dare to utter out loud.

“This one looks like you, rose.” The year old nickname slips off of Hyunjin’s tongue like silk. You’ve never fully understood how the name stuck. You figured that it’s because roses are his favorite flower and he thought it was cute. You’ve never asked for its origin but you don’t mind the name. It’s sweet.

You turn to view the series of pink, white and green dots making up a bouquet of roses on the framed canvas in front of Hyunjin. He studies it with smiling eyes though the neutral look on his face could fool those who haven’t experienced him like you have.

“It’s pretty.” You mumble as you lean your head on his shoulder. You wrap your arm around his and the sleeve of the brown oversized flannel shirt that you picked out a year ago rides up his forearm a bit, he blames the chills running up his spine on the breeze against the newly exposed skin. 

“I knew I’d see you here.” The voice of a woman next to Hyunjin startles you a bit. You stand straight and watch as Hyunjin smiles towards her. He’s cursing her in his head for interrupting the moment between the two of you but he learned a long time ago to just live in the moment when it comes to you.

“Of course, I had to see this exhibition.” He shakes her hand and you chalk it up to her being someone important though she doesn’t look much older than either of you. “You put it together beautifully.”

Ah, she owns the gallery. “Oh, please, it’s nothing. I just hope that you’re enjoying it. I actually thought about you when I put this piece up.” She motions towards the art in front of the two of you. The piece that Hyunjin says resembles you. “It looks like something you’d design. I’m still desperate to organize a local exhibition for you, ya know.”

Hyunjin laughs but it's stiff and polite. He’s being shy. He’s a very cautious person but he reaches a whole new level when it comes to his art. “I’m not quite on that level yet.”

“I disagree but I won’t bother you about it until you graduate. This is your final semester, right?” You can see her eyes smiling just like Hyunjin’s were a second ago as she checks him out. She’s shameless in her actions, the glint in her eyes is far from professional. 

“Yes, just three months to go.” She nods, dragging her gaze up from his lips with a smile. 

“Call me when you graduate, I’d love to have you working with us.” She pulls a business card out of her pocket and flashes one last smile before waving a reluctant goodbye towards your best friend. 

Silence settles between the two of you for just a couple of seconds before you break it. “She wants to fuck you so badly that she didn’t even look at me.” Hyunjin scoffs at your whispered words as he slips the card into his pocket. “Don’t tell me that you didn’t notice. How old is she anyway? She looks a bit young to be in charge of this place.”

“Her father owns it.” He mumbles as he grabs your wrist and leads you over to the next piece of art. 

“Oh, of course. She probably thought I was your girlfriend, ya know. She’s rude as hell for not even asking or looking at me. I know she saw me here, she’s clearly -” You’re pulled into Hyunjin’s side before you can finish your sentence. The sudden action cuts you off with a heavy thump of your heart and that painfully familiar burn rising in your chest. 

“Look at this one.” Your eyes are on him but his are on the art. “This one looks like you too.” You pull your gaze away from him to view the piece. The thumping in your chest doubles once your gaze meets your own. It’s a mirror with pink and white abstract designs floating around and over the glass. The paint is so messy yet strategic. It leaves just enough room for your reflection. 

“It’s messy yet elegant, don’t you think? You can’t help but to stare..” He’s visibly smiling now. The corners of his mouth turn up as he studies the art in front of him. As he studies you. “This one might be my favorite. It’ll be hard to beat it.”

“I don’t like it.” You mutter quickly, pulling away from Hyunjin and turning towards the next piece. You try your best to steady your breathing. You will your heart to calm down so that you can take a complete breath but it’s betraying you. “I’m gonna use the bathroom.” 

You’re walking away before Hyunjin can reply. He watches you with that smile in his eyes as you disappear around the corner. He knew that what he pulled would be a risk but it was one that he was willing to take. He doesn’t call you beautiful nearly as much as he should or as much as he really wants to. 

In the bathroom you’re slumped against the door of a stall while you try to catch your breath. You don’t like how Hyunjin’s words made that white hot burn in your chest kick up. You don’t like the way that his eyes being on you made you feel like you were the only two in the entire gallery. It’s suffocating. 

When you step out of the stall your fingers are busy on your phone screen. You find your friend Isa’s number quickly and take a sigh of relief when she answers on the third ring. You bypass reciprocating her kind greeting and get right to the point. 

“Get-together at yours tomorrow?”

You’re standing in the middle of the Pink and White art exhibition. Other viewers jumble together along the walls of the gallery and crowd the pieces. You can’t see anything but their blurred faces decorating the white walls. There’s a slow yet heavy beating in your ears but you’re comfortable. You’re alone in the middle of it all, watching everyone from a pleasant distance as you turn to study them all as if they’re the art on the walls.

 The beating in your ears skips as you turn and come face to face with Hyunjin. He’s standing in front of you wearing that brown hat that you love and the oversized flannel that he bought just to share with you.

 Suddenly the others in the room are quiet. All eyes are on you but Hyunjin’s gaze is the most piercing. His brown eyes are smiling at you with a softness that makes the flame in your chest burn brighter. 

“Why are you staring at me like that?” You look around at everyone else but they’ve vanished along with the art on the walls. The beating in your ears picks up, it’s deafening but Hyunjin’s voice can be heard loud and clear over the noise.  

“I like staring at you.” He takes a step towards you but you take two back. He frowns and steps forward again. You repeat the process until your back is against the wall. “Why do you do that?” 

“I’m not doing anything.” You swallow hard as you try to push him away but he’s stronger than you. As strong as stone caging you against the stark white wall. “I can’t breathe.” You’re pushing as hard as you can but it’s no use. You’re stuck under him.

“Why do you do this?” He’s still staring down at you, a burning gaze setting your skin ablaze. “Why do you keep running?” The beating in your ears drowns out all sensible thoughts. You can feel your veins swelling with fear and the blinding white burning in your chest puffs up with the crushing pressure of having him so close. Too close. 

“Back up.” You inhale the thick air, feeling dizzy. “Move.”

“Stop running.” You try to inhale but it gets stuck in your throat. You want to scream. You need to escape. You need to get out of here. 

You lift your heavy arm the best you can and pull back enough to punch Hyunjin. You aim for his face but your fist goes through him just as your lungs start to burn, you take one last look at him before the wall behind you gives out and you’re falling backwards. Hyunjin watches you, his eyes are void of that sparkling smile and guilt consumes you right before you hit the ground.

You jump up with a gasp as your eyes frantically search the room around you. Your chest rises and falls heavily and sweat beads at your hairline.

It was a dream. 

Friday is a late day for you with your last class ending at nine in the evening. Hyunjin always waits for you in the abandoned art studio, he waits for two hours just to walk you to your dorm across campus. It’s become a routine for the two of you but you told him not to wait up tonight. He was reluctant at first, he insisted on waiting for you but you were adamant about breaking your routine.

He agreed eventually but you could see the dejection in his eyes as he hugged you goodbye before your last class. He watched you walk away just like he always did but this time his heart was heavy in his chest. Did he do something wrong? 

That question haunted him throughout the day. It was loud in his head as he collected his stuff and made his way to the abandoned studio. It echoed in his ears as he tried to finish the painting of his vibrant rose that he’s added notes of dusty pale pink to. But it was the loudest when Jeongin called him to ask if he was going to the get-together at Minho’s place tonight.

He knows that you and Minho’s girlfriend Isa are close so you have to know about this, hell, you might’ve even helped plan it and you kept it from him. You’re avoiding him.

You skipped your class to head to Minho and Isa’s place. They share a small apartment right off of campus that you often use as an escape. Isa is one of the few friends that you still have from sophomore year since her boyfriend has never once tried to get in your pants. 

You sat on Isa’s bed clutching a bottle of soju that is not at all meant for one person while you laid your head in her lap. You loved being with her because there was never any pressure to fill the silence. She understands you in a way that other people just don’t. Not even Hyunjin. 

“So, he called you pretty?” You’ve been telling her everything from what happened at the art gallery to the nightmare you had last night. “And now you’re avoiding him?”

“I’m not avoiding him.” You take a swig from the glass bottle and gulp hard to rush the alcohol into your system. “I’m just being careful.”

“You’re being careful by avoiding your best friend… because he called you pretty and you had a nightmare about it?” You sit up with a groan, lifting the bottle to your mouth again with a sigh. She’s not getting it. 

“You didn’t see the way he looked at me. You didn’t feel the way he pulled me into him, his arm wrapped around my waist and he just stared at me with that smile in his eyes. You know the one that makes his eyes shine when he sees something pretty? He was looking at me like that and he told me that I looked elegant. Messy but elegant and that he couldn’t help but to stare. There was a softness in his voice, I swear, and he just wouldn’t take his eyes off of me. It’s like he was looking into me instead of at me it was… it was..”

“Sweet?” You tap the bottle in your hands with your nails. 

“Suffocating. It was too much. It made my heart skip and it made me feel hot.” 

“That usually means that you like him, ya know.” She takes the bottle from you, drinking from it a bit herself. “ You know that he’s a romantic and this isn’t the first time you’ve felt like this with him.” She hands the cold glass back to you while you think back to the other times that you’ve felt this. The latest being your birthday three months ago when Hyunjin whisked you away to the next city for a mini getaway. 

You stayed in the same hotel room and on the night of your birthday you had a bit too much to drink. He carried you up to your room since you were too out of it to walk but you weren’t too far gone to forget the way that he handled you with such gentle care.

He brushed your hair out of your face when he laid you on your bed and took your make-up off with such a tender touch that it made you want to kiss him. You almost kissed him. 

“I don’t like him like that.” You shrug and she sighs. 

“Whatever you say, ice queen.” That damned nickname makes you cringe but Minho is bursting through the door before you can rebuttal. 

“Jisung and Bin just got here, come on.” You stare at him with confused eyes and he crosses his arms as he stares back at you. “Well? Get up, you wanted to do this.”

“Do what?” You look over at Isa who’s already getting up from the bed.

“Did you not call her asking for a get-together? People are getting here so come on. I’m not hosting this by myself.” Your heart drops and you stare over at Isa who looks back at you with her own look of confusion until it all sinks in.

 “You meant for it to be just us, didn’t you?”

Hyunjin is a cautious person, anyone who knows him knows that about him. He doesn’t like when things go wrong because of him. It eats him alive until he can fix it and if he can’t he lets the anxiety consume him until a part of him dies with the memory of it all. 

His cautious nature is what prompted him to drive home after he got that call from Jeongin. It brought him right to his bedroom where he dropped his bag by the foot of his bed and laid back against the mattress with a death stare set on the dull ceiling. It stared back at him, reflecting his thoughts back to him for him to analyze. 

His brother left for the get-together as soon as he walked through the door and Hyunjin was tempted to follow him down to Seungmin’s car.

He was tempted to drop his bag and turn on his heels and come straight to you but he knew better. He knew you better than you knew yourself. If he shows up at that get-together you’ll avoid him like the plague. You’ll feel trapped by his presence and any hope that he has of fixing this situation will die right in front of his eyes. 

His cautious nature is what’s keeping him on his bed. It’s what’s grounding him to this spot and sating the burning desire to chase you. The problem is that the fire in his chest is bigger than he can handle. He’s seen how you treat the men you want to avoid on campus, he’s seen you take the long way home just to avoid a conversation and the thought of you doing that to him makes him wilt. He can’t let that happen. 

His feet are carrying him across his room before he can even fully process it. He opens his closet and pulls out the brown flannel along with his brown beanie. They’ve become comfort items for the both of you at this point, especially the flannel. It feels like a thread connecting you to him and him to you. He needs to save that connection.

 He sloppily throws on the items while he checks the clock. He’s nearly two hours late but there’s still time. 

Hyunjin has never gotten a speeding ticket but he was nearly positive that he’d get one tonight. He made it to Minho’s place in record time but he’s panting when he knocks on the door like he’s ran there. His heart is hammering when Isa answers the door and the look on her face when she takes him in only makes his heart beat faster. 

She forces a smile, inviting him in and telling him where everything is but he already knows all of that and she knows that he does. “She doesn’t want to see me does she?” Isa sighs, giving him a look that answers each and every one of his questions all at once. 

“Thanks for letting me in.” He walks past her with a nervous huff, making his way into the small party and searching for you immediately. He finds Changbin and Chan before he can find you and the two quickly drag him into a conversation about gods know what while wedging a glass bottle of mystery liquid into his fist. 

Hyunjin’s eyes wander in an attempt to find you as he ignores his friends' conversation. Luckily it didn’t take long for the sound of your loud laughter to echo through the room. His eyes were on you in an instant once he heard it. You’re right in front of him sitting in the truth or dare circle with a can of something strong in your hand. You’re always the loudest in the room but right now you seem to be the drunkest too, you shouldn’t be playing that game you’ll do something reckless.  

He wants to go over and pull you up, he wants to tell you that you’re going home and that you need to sober up. He wants to get you to talk to him but he ignores everything he wants and watches you instead. He stays cautious and keeps his distance. 

“Y/n, truth or dare.” One of your few girl friends, Harvey asks from across the circle. You answer ‘dare’ with a wide smile, it’s no surprise, you always pick that. The raven haired girl looks over to Mingi for assistance since she’s known for picking terrible dares. After a couple seconds of deliberation the blonde perks up with an idea.

“I dare you to kiss whoever this bottle lands on.” Mingi dares with a nonchalant smile and you shrug, the alcohol in your system is surely boosting your confidence but it’s not like you’ll remember any of this tomorrow so who cares, right?

He spins the bottle in the middle of the circle and everyone watches with quiet anticipation as it lands on the copper haired boy sitting three people away from you. It’s Jeongin. 

He stops in the middle of sipping from his cup and flashes you a small innocent smile but what you return to him is nothing less than a look of raw seduction. You’re on your feet in an instant, making your way over to him with low and hazy eyes. You straddle him swiftly, getting comfortable in his lap like you’ve done this a hundred times. 

“You sure about this, noona?” His hands rest on your thighs, he brushes his thumbs over the bareskin and you can feel a shiver down your spine. It almost reminds you of how Hyunjin touched you on your birthday. 

“Do you not wanna kiss me?” You tease him with a slight slur to your voice. You know he wants to kiss you, everyone does except for Hyunjin, right? 

Just as that thought passes your eyes flicker up and meet those of the very man on your mind. He’s watching you with an angry gaze as he fists the neck of the glass bottle in his hand. Your mouth goes dry as you take him in, when did he get here? You feel stuck staring at him, everything around you is suddenly muted and the people around you disappear. It’s only you and Hyunjin.

Both of your hearts are pounding in your chest. 

Both of you feel like you can’t breathe. 

Both of you are about to do something that you shouldn’t.

“Kiss her already!” Ryujin instigates from across the circle and you snap out of your haze and blink down at Jeongin. You both share a smile, one more genuine than the other, before he’s leaning into you. His lips just barely brush against yours before you’re interrupted.

A firm grip on your shoulder startles you and the man under you. You both look up to meet the eyes of the angry Hyunjin above you.“Get up.” He practically growls with a slight tug on your arm. You stare up at him with glassy eyes though you are feeling a bit more sober now. “Get. Up.” 

You’re being pulled up before you can process it. Your feet fight to keep up with him as you stumble towards the bedroom he’s leading you to. You can feel all eyes on you, you can feel the room getting smaller once he locks the bedroom door behind the two of you and pulls his flannel off to drape over your shoulders, something that he does to comfort you. 

“What the fuck?” That’s all you can manage to get out of your mouth as you stare over at him. He stares back with his arms crossed and his chest rising and falling with what you perceive as anger but he would describe as anxiety. Pure fear. 

“Do you understand what you were about to do?” Hyunjin tries to be mindful of his tone. He tries to limit the waver of his words and calm the frantic thoughts in his head. He’s trying. “Why would you kiss him?”

“I didn’t.” The alcohol in your system takes over again and you thank the ridiculous amount of soju you’ve consumed for coming to the rescue. You tug on the flannel resting over your shoulders, pretending that its warmth would protect you from the buzzing in your head and inevitable burning in your chest.

“You would’ve if I didn’t stop you. What happened to you not being into Jeongin? What happened to you not wanting to hurt him?”

You groan, stomping your foot like a child being scolded by their guardian. Like the little girl who punched the brunette boy in the face for chasing her. “Why don’t you mind your business?”

Hyunjin scoffs, his anxiety grows in his chest and he takes a step back. “You are my business.” 

It’s silent for one, two, three heartbeats before the dizzying emotions burning in your chest fill in the silence for you. “Well maybe I shouldn’t be. You’re way too attached to me.”

Hyunjin feels frozen even though he’s stepping back from you. He’s creating more space between the two of you just like you seem to be doing. What do you mean by that? You’re rambling on before he can ask. “You do all of these things that make me feel like I can’t breathe. You call me pretty and you touch me softly and you hold me close and… and you just make me feel hot. You suffocate me.”

Hyunjin whispers through the bubbles forming in his throat. He’s gentle with the way he speaks, he is a cautious person after all, especially when it comes to his art. “Is this about what I said at the gallery?”

His question goes in one ear and right out the other. Your brain formulates words quicker than you can process them, creating a violent episode of word vomit that threatens to spill over your lips and onto the carpet but you swallow hard and condense it all into one simple yet seering sentence. “You keep making my heart race, it’s not fair. You need to go, just go.”

Hyunjin’s blood runs cold and his temples throb like you’ve hit him. Like you’ve punched him in the face. Anxiety bubbles in his veins and swells behind his eyes. It’s his turn to ramble, the word vomit seems to be contagious. 

“I’m not leaving.” His gaze is frantic, cautious, scared. “I am too attached, you’re right. I have been for a while. I’ve loved you for a while and I tried to hide it but I shouldn’t have to. I shouldn’t be scared that I’ll lose my best friend if I tell her that she’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”

 “No, you are not confessing to me right now. Don’t you dare do that.” You pace to the left then the right in a hurried attempt to escape his words before they could reach you. He can’t be doing this right now. You needed to get out of here.

“I am. I am confessing to you. I need you to hear me say that I love you because I do and it scares me just as much as it scares you but you are the reason that it’s scaring me. Losing you is the reason that I’m afraid and I need you to tell me that that isn’t going to happen.” His voice is shaky just like your hands. He watches you like a dog being dropped off at the pound as you physically try to escape him. He knew this would happen, this is what he was afraid of. 

“Stop. Just stop it, Hyunjin. You’re doing it again, I can’t breathe when you’re this close to me.” He stares over at you from the other side of the room and you stare back at him. This doesn’t make any sense. He isn’t next to you but you still can’t breathe. It doesn’t make any sense. “I have to go - I have - just… just leave me alone.” You turn towards the bedroom door but he speaks up before you can make your escape. 

“I’m not going to chase you.” Hyunjin is unmoving. His feet are still planted to the floor like a statue as he slips his fists into his pocket. “I don’t want to push you further away but don’t you dare go home and convince yourself that I don’t care just because I let you go.” 

You listen to him over your hammering heart with your back turned to him and your unsteady gaze trained on the worn door knob. “I’m letting you go with the hope that you’ll come back. You know where to find me.” 

Your feet threaten to betray you, they try to turn you around and drive you over to him but your heart is screaming. That white flame is burning in your chest and begging you to run. Run as fast as you can and find safety, but your safety is standing behind you. It’s watching you with teary eyes that are desperate to meet yours. 

A tear slips down your cheek as you grab the doorknob and pull it with a quick twist. You follow your heart and rush out of the room with tears decorating your face and your hand over your mouth. You let the burning win again.

You rush past everyone, Isa tries to stop you and Minho even catches you for a minute but you fight him off of you and make your way to the front door. You don’t get too far before the last layer of your resolve snaps, You turn onto the next dark block and sink to the ground. Sobs rip through you as Hyunjin’s words hang in your head. He loves you. He wants you but you left him. You left everything you’ve ever wanted behind you. 

A heavier sob escapes you as the truth of it all comes crashing down. You love him too, don’t you? You’ve loved him for so long. Since your birthday and beyond that but you’ve been avoiding it. You’ve avoided your feelings just like you have everything else. You’ve punched yourself in the face, you’ve chased yourself into a corner and now you might just lose everything you have left. You might lose your best friend.

The storms over the next two days swirl the skies into mysterious clouds of pink and white as rain soaks the grass the same way that you’ve soaked your pillow for hours. You’ve opted to stay in, avoiding anything or anyone that could remind you of Friday’s catastrophe.

 You’ve debated texting Jeongin and apologizing for what you remember of the situation. You almost called Isa to spill the fears bubbling in your lungs to her so that she could help you sort through them but she can’t. This is up to you. You need to make a choice. Will you run away from the fire or towards it? 

On the other side of campus Hyunjin sits in the abandoned studio with paint stained hands and dried tears on his cheeks. He’s left his previous painting incomplete. The bright blushing rose sits across the room with the others just like it while he touches his brush to the canvas and smears a smoky mauve to the pristine white flesh. His lines are messy and uncalculated. Far from cautious. 

For a moment he considers that he was only ever careful because of you. Your lack of control over your emotions inspired him to fill in the blanks for you. Now there’s no need for caution without you.

The rain carried into Monday along with the emptiness in your chest. You’ve typed and deleted paragraphs to Hyunjin who has done the same as he sat on the studio floor.

He stayed in the dusty room until midnight each day that he was without you and you stayed up well past then. He poured himself into painting and you poured yourself onto the carpet of your dorm room. You made lists and mapped your emotions until it all started to make a bit more sense. Until the love that burned alongside your hot white fear was glowing pink in the mirror. 

You skipped your classes on Monday, your feet drove you over to the dead side of campus through the violent rain. You stood in the hallway outside of Hyunjin’s studio. The worn copper doorknob stared back at you like it knew what you were here to do. Like it was daring you to go inside. You suck in a breath as you grab the metal, you’ve never been one to back down from a dare.

The studio is empty when you walk inside. The fading warm light of the lamps that you and Hyunjin bought and snuck in illuminate the space the best that they can given the dull pink skies. Your eyes catch on the new piece sitting up on his easel. It’s dark and runny, it’s raw and it feels like it’s calling your name. 

“Hi.” Hyunjin’s voice snaps you out of your thoughts. His voice is small and surprised as he stares over at your frame clad in that famous brown flannel and sweatpants. 

“Hi.” You whisper back. He looks like a mess. Brown hat, pulled too far over his head and his hair spilling from every exit it can find. “More roses?” 

He stares passed you and over at the wilting petals on the canvas with a sad smile. “It’s like I’m in love or something.” 

Your guilt tinged heart beats a bit faster when he steps further into the room and closes the door behind him. He drops his bag next to the door and stares at the dinghy tile with his hands in his pockets. “I’m sorry. For everything, for the party and everything with your brother and for everything that I said.” 

The word vomit is back. It spilled over your lips before you could attempt to swallow it back but you’re almost thankful for it. You have no clue how you’d get your words out otherwise. “You just made me feel… I just felt..” You kick at the cracked tile as if it holds the answers you’re looking for but Hyunjin beats you to it.

“Suffocated.” His eyes are on you now, they’re low and shadowed in a longing sadness. “I’ve seen this happen a million times to other guys and I thought that I was being careful enough to avoid it.” 

“This is nothing like the other guys.” Your bag slumps off of your shoulder and you carelessly allow it to hit the floor. “Your confession just -” He cuts you off with a tight smile.

 “I know. It ruined everything.” He sighs, sad eyes examining the space between the two of you. “I ruined everything and I’m sorry for that, rose. I really am.”

“It didn't. It didn’t ruin anything, it just scared me. I felt suffocated, yes, but not by you. It was by what I felt for you. That’s why this isn’t like what happened with any of the other guys. I never wanted them. Avoiding them was easy but you… avoiding you..” Hyunjin watches your heaving chest with the caution that he thought had abandoned him. He’s quiet, allowing you time to gather your thoughts. He doesn’t want to corner you, he just wants to hear you. 

“Why do you call me that?” You whisper once your breathing has steadied. “Why did you start calling me rose?”

Suddenly he’s looking past you then down at the tile under his feet. He leans against the door behind him, a faint smile decorating his sad face. “You were wearing one in your hair on the day that I realized I love you.” He looks over to where his easel is set up. “We were sitting right there and you had a pale pink rose behind your left ear. You picked me one to match and I told you that it was my favorite flower because in that moment it was. It was beautiful but you…your beauty is hard to beat.”

Your heart is thumping in your ears, it’s a sound that you’ve grown comfortable with over the past few days. The clutter of the abandoned room almost seems to disappear as you process his words. The burning in your chest makes itself known along with the newly identified pink flame. The white walls of the studio almost seem brighter as you receive Hyunjin’s confession. You let it sink in and drown out the tension little by little. “So when you paint them…”

“I’m painting you. I’m always painting you.” The thumping is deafening but Hyunjin is clear over the noise. He has always been the only one who can cut through it all, even in your dreams. 

You can feel yourself falling just like in your nightmare only it’s forwards. You’re falling forwards as your feet carry you to him. You run. You run to him and you fall into his arms that have been desperate to catch you for months. The burn in your chest is paralyzing, it’s seering and fighting the pink flame for dominance. 

You cry into his chest, you sob as the pain of running into the fire engulfs you. It swallows you whole and you stand in it with him, you cling to him before you burn to ash and he holds you like he knows it all. He cradles the back of your head like he can feel the fire ripping your flesh apart. 

You’re flush against him, tears soaking his shoulder and burning all over until he does what no one has done before. He puts it all out. A simple kiss to the top of your head dowses the flame and reduces it to a measly spark of fear overshadowed by an uncontainable pink and white glow of love in your chest. 

You gasp at the cooling effect. Air rushes into your lungs and you can finally breathe, he’s the oxygen you needed. He’s everything you’ve needed but now you want to give your air away again. You want to give it all to him. 

You pull away from his shoulder in one swift motion, your eyes are shut tight as your lips find his and you pull him into a hard and messy kiss. The sound that escapes you both is desperate and beautiful. His lips move with yours in an uncoordinated rhythm that makes your lungs burn comfortably. They burn the way that they’re supposed to. 

Hyunjin cries into the kiss. Tears stream down his cheeks as he cradles you against him like you’d vanish if he didn’t. He drinks it all in, he allows himself to live in this moment that he’s been dying to have with you for what feels like an eternity before he reluctantly breaks the kiss. 

His eyes are still closed when he pulls away. He whispers to you, careful not to crack the shell of this delicate moment. “I thought you -” 

“I don’t want to keep running. I can’t, I need you. I can’t lose you.” Your eyes flutter open at the same time as his. He stares down at you with that smile in his eyes. That smile he has when he sees something beautiful, when he’s utterly enamored by the sight before him. “I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know how to do any of this, I only know that I want to do it with you.”

He’s quiet for a couple of seconds before a smile sneaks up on him. It fades just as quickly as it came and his eyebrows pinch together. “You want me?” You nod and the smile shows itself again. 

“I want you.” He leans back in, cupping your cheek as he kisses you hard. His body pushes against yours and you move with him as he walks backwards towards one of the few empty desks and lifts you onto it. 

His hands explore every inch of you that he can reach. He balls his fist over the baggy flannel hiding your body from him while your fingers tangle in his hair and scratch over his shoulders and up his arms.

 He breaks the kiss to run his lips over the flushed flesh of your neck, he whispers into your skin between each kiss “Tell me to stop.” He pulls at the collar of the flannel to kiss the curve of your neck. “I’ve waited so long for this, please tell me to stop. Tell me to wait.”

You push his head further into the crook of your neck as you tilt your head further to give him better access. “I don’t want you to.” He sucks a mark into the skin right below your ear and you pull his tucked in shirt from his pants with an elated moan. 

His clumsy fingers fight to unbutton the oversized flannel as yours attempt to unbutton his jeans. You reach your goal before he does and waste no time capitalizing on your victory. You dip your hand in just enough to fish his growing erection from his briefs and wrap your hand around it. 

Hyunjin moans at the stimulation, leaning his forehead against yours and squeezing his eyes shut as you stroke him slowly. “Fuck, please don’t, I wont - I can’t last.”

 You kiss his temple softly, whispering reassurance that you don’t care to have him last, you just want to have him. Once he’s centered himself again he continues his struggle to expose your body to him. The final button falls open like the curtain to a play and he stares down your scantily clad torso like an audience in awe. 

His hand moves on its own as he admires you. It dips into the waistband of your sweatpants and swipes over your clothed clit.

 Your head falls forward to rest on his shoulder with a quiet moan as he groans into the air. Your grip on his cock tightens a bit in response to the sensation and he hisses. “Please tell me I can feel you. Is it okay? Can I?” 

He doesn't want your first time to be here but he wants you. He needs you. 

Hyunjin hooks a finger into the damp gusset of your panties and pulls it to the side just enough to slip a finger into your waiting cunt. You pant in his ear, wanton moans bubble over the brim of your lips as his free hand cradles the side of your neck. “Look at me, please look at me, baby.”

 He runs his thumb over your cheek, brushing over the path of your dried tears. “So pretty, this must be a dream.” You shake your head. Speaking between moans. “Not a dream, baby.”

 He slips in another finger as you circle your palm over the head of his cock and you both moan. “Please tell me I can.” He leans his forehead against yours, his desperate eyes reflect the look in your own.

“You can. Please, I want you to.” 

“Have you ever thought about it?” He’s asking before he can process it and you’re shaking your head before he can even finish his sentence. A shy glaze washes over your desperate gaze as you watch him undress you.

 “You’re all I ever think about.” He whispers as he hooks his thumbs into the band of your pants. “You’re all I’ve wanted for the past year.” 

“I’ve loved you since my birthday.” You blurt out, vulnerable eyes peering into his. “Maybe even before that.” He runs a finger over your clothed cunt and you shudder under the touch.

“I wanted to kiss you the night of your birthday. You looked so beautiful but you were wasted. You wouldn’t have remembered. I just stared at you, I took your make-up off and I brushed the hair from your face and you stared back at me. I was just dying to kiss you. I was dying to confess.” Your hand runs slowly up his shaft and he swears that he feels electric. 

“I wanted to kiss you too.” He’s quiet, staring back at you with a smile. “That’s why I was staring”

“I kissed your forehead when you fell asleep.”  He pulls your panties down your legs, allowing them to pool at his feet with your sweatpants. “I knelt by your bed and whispered my confession to you.” 

His fingers are filling you again and you gasp while staring into his eyes. “I wanna hear it.” You whisper through a moan.

 “You want to hear my confession?” You nod, your gently fucked out gaze stares into his like your hypnotized by the moment. He scissors his finger into you, stretching you out just a bit before you’re gasping from the stretch of him replacing his fingers with his length. 

“Fuck, you’re inside of me.” Hyunjin stills with a groan. His forehead rests on your shoulder while he silently begs himself not to come undone just yet. He sucks in a breath before he recites all that he can remember. 

“You’re everything that I thought it would be to fall in love.” He whispers as he pulls back, thrusting into you slowly. “You really snuck up on me, I don’t know what I expected though.” He lifts his head to look at you as he sinks back into you. “You became my world so quickly. So effortlessly.”

 You cup his face with both of your hands as you bite back your moans. You want to hear him loud and clear. You want to remember every word. “I should’ve known that I’d fall in love when I first met you.” He picks up the pace, falling into a messy rhythm that’s accompanied by a fit of moans and grunts. 

He struggles to keep his eyes on you. They flutter shut with each thrust as he feels himself float closer and closer to his climax. “Baby, I won’t last.” You wrap your arms around his neck and one of his wraps around your waist while the other rests on your thigh before creeping over to softly pinch and rub your clit. 

“Hyune, you’re gonna make me - gonna -” He cuts you off with a sloppy kiss, his tongue brushes over your parted lips to request access before making room for itself against yours.

“If you tell me that you’re gonna cum I won’t last another second.” He whispers against your lips and you moan against his.

“What if I tell you that I love you.” Hyunjin’s eyebrows pinch at the confession. That’s way worse than telling him that you’re close. “I’ve loved you back for as long as - as long as you’ve loved me.”

“Rose, baby, you’re gonna -” It’s your turn to kiss him now, it’s a mess of teeth and tongue but you love it. You love him and him you.

 You both pull away in tandem, twin moans ripping through your chests as you both announce yourself to the other. 

“I’m cumming, I’m cumming.” Hyunjin pulls out of you, painting your thighs in his sticky white release while his fingers toy with your clit to ride you through your orgasm. It’s loud and messy and beautiful. A romantic elegance that you want to live in for as long as it’s available. 

Once you’ve both come down from your high Hyunjin kisses your sweaty forehead and you kiss his. He pulls his bottoms up before grabbing the cleanest paint rag he has to clean you up. A comfortable silence settles around you as you ground yourself and take in the space.

“You didn’t finish that one.”

He follows your gaze over to the painting of the pale pink rose. The middle of the canvas contrasts the rest with nothing but dull line art to show the completed picture. It looks like a work in progress. “I know, but I think I like it like that.” He looks back over at you and you at him.

“It looks like you."

It’s been seven months. Graduation has come and gone in the middle of your blooming relationship with Hyunjin and you’ve dedicated each and every second of your budding love to taming the flame. 

Each kiss from him has kept the spark of fear at bay and each touch has taught you how to stop running. It’s been a slow and cautious process that he is more than proud to be a part of. He takes pride in it. He takes pride in being with you.

The smooth breeze of late summer brushes against your skin as you step out of your car. The white dress that Hyunjin picked out for you sticks to you like paint on a canvas as you make your way up to the art gallery. 

It’s buzzing inside, people stand and stare in awe at each piece while whispering and pointing to their favorite details. You stop and stand in the middle of it all, taking it all in with a slow spin on the balls of your feet. You take in every corner until you turn around completely and you’re met with the face of the artist himself. 

“Hi.” Hyunjin smiles down at you, brown baggy flannel hanging from his shoulders. 

“Hi.” You stare back at him with a gleaming smile in your eyes. You take in every inch of him, scanning him like he should be framed and hanging on the walls around you. 

“Why are you staring at me like that?” Hyunjin wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him. “I like staring at you.” Your response makes him beam a shy smile. 

“You should be staring at the art. The artist might get sad if you don’t.” He kisses your forehead before letting you go. Some people around you stare over at the two of you with curious eyes. They’re eager to put a face to the muse of the showing artist. 

You take his hand and lead him over to the piece that a couple is walking away from. You stand in front of it hand in hand as you study it for what feels like the millionth time. “This one is my favorite.” The incomplete pale pink rose stares back at you.

“And why is that?” Hyunjin has that smile in his eyes as he stares up with you. The memory of this piece's origin plays behind his eyes like a memorized movie. 

“I’ve been told that it looks like me.” You lay your head on his shoulder and wrap your arm around his. A chill runs up his spine and he blames it on you. You and the love he feels glowing pink and white around you. 

“There you are.” History repeats itself as the lady that you’ve come to know as Dalia interrupts the two of you. “I wanted to check in with you, how does it feel to finally have your own exhibition?” 

Hyunjin smiles at her politely, turning towards her a bit with his fingers still threaded through yours. “It’s amazing. Thank you, you’ve done a wonderful job putting this together.” 

“Oh, please, it’s nothing. This is all you.” You watch her as her eyes smile just as they always have. Her hand brushes over his arm in a carefully calculated move. She’s still shameless and unprofessional. “This piece is my favorite. The unfinished look is unique and raw. What inspired this one?” 

You grin to yourself as you listen to her. She’s trying so hard that it’s difficult not to laugh. 

“Actually.” Hyunjin pulls your hand a bit, leading you forward so that you’re right next to him. It’s impossible for Dalia to ignore you now. Her eyes scan you reluctantly and the smile on her face falters for a second before she pulls it together. Gosh, that's gratifying. 

“My lovely rose here is the inspiration for it all.” Hyunjin looks over at you with a glow that is unmatched even by the largest of flames. “None of this would be possible without her.” 

It’s like Dalia disappears once Hyunjin looks over at you. You’re the only two in the room as far as you’re concerned. “Oh, well that’s just - that’s wonderful.” Her staggered speech pulls you both out of your loving haze. 

“Such a … sweet profession of love.” She glares over at you though you’re sure that in her head she’s doing a wonderful job at hiding her contempt. “I should make sure that everything is running smoothly. Please excuse me.” 

She clears her throat awkwardly before she departs, you and Hyunjin both bid her smiling farewells before turning to each other with wide smiles. “Show off.” You push his shoulder playfully and he laughs.

“I didn’t do anything.” You roll your eyes as you both wander over to the next piece on the wall. You stare up at the two pink roses in a lone vase, a shadow of sunlight casts down on them both as they rise towards its shining glow. 

A comfortable silence blankets the two of you while you listen to the soft buzz of the people around you. You squeeze his hand softly and he squeezes back just as you open your mouth to speak. 

“She still wants to fuck you.” He smiles 

“Shut up.”

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[harlowhockeystick]

LOVESTRUCK, WENT STRAIGHT TO MY HEAD ⎯ S. CROSBY

y/n just wants the best for her son, she thinks the program rule of no freshmen players on varsity is stupid. she just did what any mother would do...right?

coach!sidney crosby x teacher!single mom!reader

warnings: angst, smut (fingering, handjob, sex on a table), somewhat of an inappropriate relationship, single parent content, light talk of divorce, lowkey based off of "slut!" by taylor swift

word count: 4,244

a/n: look at that....i do still know how to write

The bitterness of the coffee wasn’t doing it’s job. On her third cup and it’s not even ten in the morning, Y/N waits for the next period of students to walk through her door. Taking in one of the few moments of silence she has, she refreshes the page on the sports page on the school website, itching to see her son’s name. 

Carter had tryouts with the hockey team last week, he had been talking about it since the beginning of the month. He was training every day to make varsity; in leagues ever since he was ten years old every single coach and spectator could not brag enough on how much talent he had. Y/N was pressured to send him across the country, even out of the country, to go to the top hockey camps but as a single mother she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t bear to send her baby off to some strangers for a few months, and she couldn't afford to move away from family either. 

But her heart dropped as she refreshed the page, pulled up this season's roster, and saw her son’s name and number on the junior varsity roster instead of varsity. She didn’t understand it, she was told by the coaches herself that he was the best kid on the ice that day. Why didn’t he make varsity? 

Her questions were interrupted by students flooding into the classroom for the start of the next period. She pulled herself out of her thoughts to then teach this class period. Reluctantly though. 

-

The final bell rang and that meant she was done for the day. Saying goodbye to her students Y/N started to gather papers and put them in the “to grade” folder to take home with her before tidying up some areas of the room. She anticipated her son’s arrival. Ever since moving up to high school he always stopped by her room at the end of the day to talk about school and help her carry things to her car. 

“I didn’t make it.” Carter said as a greeting when he walked in the empty room. His face was defeated, his tall slender frame was slumped over in sadness and his eyes welling with tears. Out of all people Y/N knew and saw how hard he worked to make varsity his freshman year. He skated over fifty laps a day, worked on shots in the garage until way past dusk, he also started to lift more weights. 

“Oh baby, c’mere,” Y/N pulled her much taller son in for a hug. There he broke and rested into his mother's arms like a little kid again. He softly cried before pulling away. 

“I don’t get it mom, they told me i’d make it for sure, why would he tell me-” “Don’t worry about it son, I will talk to the coach first thing in the morning. I promise. But for now you have to play the cards you were dealt,” Y/N consoled her son in the way moms know how. Gathering her bags she gave the heaviest one to Carter to help carry out the building. They continued chatting on the way to her car, talking about school and homework he had for the week. Carter was a special kid, he deeply cared about his grade and education. He remembers promising his mom when he was younger that if he ever got to play hockey in college that he would get his degree and not go to the draft early. 

Carter was a momma’s boy through and through. His dad lived an hour away so he spent the weekends there twice a month, but he’s at his mom’s house the rest of the time. Carter is also protective of his mom too. He never told her this, but he’s beat in a couple boys’ faces because they made some lewd comments about her. He’s respectful of her, more than any other man on earth ever has been. Y/N is very proud of how she’s raised her son. 

“Okay son, go to practice. Have a positive attitude, don’t do anything stupid okay? I know you’re frustrated but just go into practice and do you, maybe they got you mixed up with someone else. But-” she saw his facial expressions change and get tense, she knew that he was still angry inside, “hey, don’t get mad at them. Wait until I talk and then you and I will figure something out.”

They walked in opposite directions, Carter to the athletic building and Y/N back to the school for one more item in her classroom. Hustling as best she can so she can get home, she runs into the person she didn’t want to speak to until in the morning. Coach Crosby. 

She felt her body coil and tense up in anger at just the sight. She was supposed to wait until morning, but her tongue got the best of her. 

“Coach! Hey, can I ask you a quick question?” she pulls him to the side, into an empty classroom where the teacher had left for the day. 

“What’s up?” Sidney asked, sitting down on one of the wooden desks. He was wearing black joggers, a tight pullover with a school cap on. Y/N couldn’t help but notice how the material of his clothing clung to his toned body. He had been out of the professional league for at least two years, but he still kept up the physical shape of his body, and it was obvious by the way his pants were stretching at the seams on his thighs. 

“I really don’t want to be that parent, but can you tell me why Carter didn’t make varsity?” Sidney cocks his head to the side. He’s only been on sight three months and he’s already dealing with this. 

“Well, it’s my understanding that freshmen must be on the JV team, no matter how good they are. That rule was put in place before I got here.” He explained while crossing his arms over his chest, his muscles making his pullover look incredibly small on his frame. “He’s a good kid though, he’ll make great improvements this year and I'll look forward to having him on varsity next year.” Sidney said, trying to end the conversation and smooth things over.

“But…you’re the new coach. This is your program now, not someone else’s.” Y/N couldn’t really understand what he was getting at. Did he not see the potential in her son that everyone seemed to say? Did he not see the great player, the great athlete that Carter was? Maybe it was just her being a mother, and so obviously her child is the best compared to other kids. But she swore she didn’t want to be like those parents. She remembers being a kid in youth sports herself and hated parents who thought their kid should be player of the week every week. In her mind, she needed to earn player of the week because of her work ethic, not because her parents were board members. 

“Right but I'm not trying to ruffle any feathers my first year. This is barely my program, I need to establish relationships before I change things here,” Y/N takes a step closer to Sidney, her hands folded in front of her. 

“But you’re Sidney Crosby, who can say no to you?” God she feels horrible for doing this, she feels like…like some junior league mom whose husband has nothing between his ears. But she thinks, if she can just rile him up for a minute, startle him, then he’ll change his mind and put Carter on varsity. That’s her end goal, get her son feeling better. If that means pretending to be a horny college student again, so be it. “I mean really, they had to give you this job cause they trust you. So obviously you can do what you want, like putting my son on your varsity team.”

He sighs, looking down at his shoes. He knows what she’s doing…and he can’t believe it’s sort of working. He hasn’t had a woman flirt with him in heaven knows how long. He doesn’t even know how to respond to such a thing anymore. His life for the past almost twenty years has been nothing but hockey. Sidney’s family has been asking him for a long time when he is going to settle down with someone, but nobody ever scratched that itch quite like hockey did. But now? That he’s got a woman in front of him, a gorgeous one at that, who’s buttering him up? Maybe he’ll give in…just to see what it feels like. 

“Your son is a hell of a player, Y/N. He really could go far,” His words got heavier as she got closer, he could smell her perfume, he could feel her breath, he could see her chest move up and down with every huff she took- “so put him on your team, Coach.” she put her hand on his chest softly and she sighed feeling his stern muscles. “C’mon, what’s it gonna take? Dinner and a show?” 

His eyes, dark and blown, looked into hers and if he remembers what the term eye fucking means then that’s exactly what they were doing. His breaths became short but heavy as she left a heavy hand on his chest. She rubbed her thumb over his cheek, trying her best to work her charm that she used to have. She hopes she’s still got it. 

He thinks, thinks, and thinks. This is a bad decision. 

“My place, six thirty tomorrow evening. Give me your best sales pitch, and we’ll see about the show.” 

Sidney stands up and for a brief second his nose bumps hers, an innocent touch but it makes him take a deep breath in to calm himself down. He exits the empty class room and takes long strides to get to practice, glancing at his watch he’s already a few minutes behind. 

-

She’s eternally grateful that Carter is with his dad this weekend. How could she explain to him that she’s not really going on a date…but she’s going to his coach's house with plans to seduce him..but again it’s not a date. Of course, she’d have to leave out the seducing part. She put on her best dress that she had, it was pretty simple but it hugged her figure nicely. She made sure to spritz some extra perfume on as well. 

The drive to Sidney’s house is silent, it’s her having fake conversations in her head about what to say or what not to say. Debating on if her seduction speech was still on date or if it’s too cheesy now. She suddenly feels like she lives in the lowest tax bracket possible when entering his neighborhood; she's never seen so many fake lawns before. She’s actually never been on this side of town much, except to look at christmas lights when Carter was younger. Now that he’s older he doesn’t care for that stuff anymore. 

“Nice place you’ve got,” she said walking into his entry way. To her surprise Sidney dressed up a little bit, wearing a button up with a nice pair of slacks, the top two buttons undone for visual purposes of course. He takes her coat and her purse, hanging it up by the door. “What’s on the menu?” 

“Well, I figured I'd go simple with just spaghetti and toast, with dessert to follow if that’s okay.” Sidney went into his pantry and pulled out a bottle of red wine. “This okay?” He holds the bottle in the air and she nods her head, sitting at his kitchen bar watching him pour a glass. She takes a glance at the label and she’s taken back. On her teacher salary she definitely can’t afford that brand.

Maybe she’s in over her head here- she didn’t think about any of this stuff. Suddenly she’s this woman who doesn’t have much to her name, sitting in a millionaire’s kitchen drinking wine that costs well over two hundred dollars- but damn if it doesn’t taste good. 

They make small talk before heading into the dining room where he sets dinner onto the table for her, such a gentleman. Continuing the semi dull conversation she thanks him for making a meal for her, joking that she’s never had a man make dinner for her. Only half true, her dad growing up would make dinners for her family. But when she married Carter’s dad, she was the chef in the family. Not that she was complaining, it was just odd for her to be on the reverse side for the first time in a while. 

“I am sorry about that idiotic rule, Y/N. Carter can easily be a varsity player.” Sidney broke the minute silence after finishing off his second glass of wine that night. She huffs, finishing her plate and scooting it away from her on the table. Was she really about to do this?

“Is there anything I can do, sidney? C’mon my boy’s in shambles, he’s thinking that he’s not as good as everyone makes him out to be,” Y/N reaches her hand out to rest on his softly. “Is there anything I can do?” 

Y/N hoped he knew what she was implying and that she didn’t have to say it out loud. 

And he did. 

He understood every word she said and the words that were left unsaid. He knew what she was implying and he knew what she was getting at. But Sidney hated that he was willing to do what she wanted. Y/N was leaning forward on the table, getting close enough to Sidney where he could smell her perfume and her lotion mixed together, he could see a couple small freckles up close as he couldn’t see them from a bit further away. 

There were no words exchanged between them, his eyes kept drifting from her tinted lips to her lustful eyes, back and forth a couple times before resting his hand on her cheek and pressing his lips against hers gently. Immediately he felt a rush of arousal- it’s just a kiss, really? He silently asked himself. He hadn’t gotten this aroused in a while, a long while. 

Both parties leaned into the kiss, wanting and aching for more. They tasted wine on each other and felt each other’s temperature begin to rise. Sidney got out of his chair, lips still connected to hers, and got closer. She stood up, one hand cupping his chin and the other resting on his chest, and she leaned against the dining table. She hadn’t made out with someone in years, she hopes she’s doing it right. 

She gets pushed onto the table just by the force of his body so now she’s sitting on the wooden table, Sidney standing in between her legs with both of his hands cupping her face. He doesn’t care if he seems desperate or if he seems needy, or if this is totally wrong and against almost all of the words he signed in his contract, he can’t seem to get enough of her. Sidney feels her play with the buttons of his shirt and how she begins to pull the shirt up and out of his dress pants. It was easy since he wasn’t wearing a belt. 

He didn’t even know that she completely unbuttoned his shirt until he felt her hands roam all over his naked chest, her hands slowly raking up and down his toned muscles. He takes a breath and scans her body. Her skin is hot to the touch, her eyes are completely blown now and her lips are parted. “How do I get this off you?” he asked, taking a fist of the hem of her dress.

“There's a tie in the back,” she huffed out, not able to take her hands off his body. Plus, she wants him to take it off of her. 

“You tied this yourself?” he asked in shock, surprised at how she tied such a perfect bow on her back with such thin strings. 

“I’ve been tying, zipping, buttoning my dresses myself for the past twelve years now, safe to say I got pretty good at it.” God- has she been alone for the past twelve years? Nobody to love on, kiss on, touch on this wonderful body of hers? Sidney takes in a sharp breath when he pulls the dress off of her and he gives her body a quick scan over. Wearing a strapless bra that she’s almost spilling out of, she has on silk leopard print panties that he can’t help but notice a significant damp spot on. 

“Fuck,” he mumbles, hands roaming over her soft skin. “Don’t make fun of me, it’s been a long time since I've hooked up with someone.” because that’s just what this is, a hookup. Nothing more, nothing less. 

“I haven’t since I got divorced, so it's the same here.” she hooks her leg around his pulling him closer. He pressed his lips against hers again this time most softly. His hand goes down to play with the hem of her panties, “you sure about this?” 

“Very sure, don’t mess with a pissed off mama sidney.” she pulls him down with her as she lays down on the table. He kisses down her body, she arches her back and lets him take her bra off. Tossing it onto the floor Sidney wraps his lips around one of her hardened nipples. She lets out a heavenly sounding moan at the action.

It’s been so long she could cum just from Sidney doing this for a couple minutes longer. One hand slips down over her clothed cunt, rubbing her sensitive and wet area. She arches her body into his, already she’s lost in a great euphoric high that she can’t even mumble words. All that’s coming out is moans and gasps. 

He removes his mouth and Sidney stands up, she watches up on her elbows as he takes his pants off and removes his boxers. She bites her lip at the size - the sight - of his hardened dick in his hand. She reaches out for it herself, “you’ll give me what I want, and I promise you won’t regret it.” he thought for a moment too long, she began to doubt herself but he spoke up, “deal.”

She licks her hand before taking a grip on his cock. Slowly she starts stroking up and down, keeping harsh eye contact with sidney. She gives him a nice squeeze and a twist of her hand which makes him throw his head back in pleasure. He can only do so much with his hand, it’s nice to have someone else for a change. Y/N scoots closer to him on the table, with one of his hands he works his hand over one of her breasts softly massaging it. She leans into his touch and continues to work her hands over his hard cock. 

He moves his hand from her breast down and slips it into her soaked panties. At first his fingers were a little cold but they quickly warmed up after being immersed in her sex. He circles around her clit a couple times, getting familiar with the female body again. He explores for a minute or two, his middle finger teasing her hole. The more he teases her the harder her grip gets on his cock. He pulls his hand out of her panties, they’ve never broken eye contact this whole time and he sucks everything off of his hand. God that was hot. 

Sidney removes her hand from his cock fearing if she kept going he would cum all over her hand and that wasn’t what he wanted to do. He’s panting heavy now, his body forming sweat on his forehead. He pushes her down onto the table with a palm on her chest lining his cock up with her entrance, “wait do I need any-”

She chuckles, “that ship sailed a while ago, just fuck me like you mean it coach.” 

With her permission she slides in and she lets out a long, loud, moan as he does it. He wants to hear that on repeat for the rest of his life, he swears. Sidney puts both hands on her hips, keeping her body steady as he rocks in and out of her, his hips meeting her every time. 

Sidney allows to feel himself in her warm, wet walls. He throws his head back in pleasure and she shuts her eyes tight. Her hands come up to her breasts to add to the pleasure, fingers pinching both of her nipples as she feels his huge cock pump in and out of her small hole. He feels like he’s three feet deep inside of her, he feels lost in how good she feels. His head grows foggy each time he squeezes her. 

Sidney hits the spongy spot in her tight cunt that made her gasp out in pleasure, she sang his name like a chant over and over which made him fuck her harder and harder. She warned him about her orgasm and he did the same, begging her to cum with him. A few more pumps of his cock he spilled his heavy load inside of her and she moaned loudly like a queen when he did. He pulled his cock out of her, watching his load spill out with it. 

Maybe it was the post orgasm haze she was in, maybe it was the lovestruck feeling she had the minute they began making out, but minutes later she’s standing between him and the cold shower wall. His forehead pressed against hers. His fingers knuckle deep in her cunt and a hand wrapped around her throat as hot water rained down on either of them, her cunt squeezing his thick fingers while she couldn’t even say anything but his name. That’s exactly what he wanted. 

The hot shower water kept her eyes shut but she knew that he was gazing at her. He was in awe of her facial expressions, how she bit her lip through a smile with every jerk he made with his hand, when she furrowed her eyebrows when she was on the edge of cumming, and how she cocked her head to the side while he kissed around her neck silently asking for more. 

He took his hand away from her pussy, licking the honey off his fingers. He stayed that close to her though knowing her legs were probably jello and she wasn’t able to stand for at least a minute or two. 

She took a deep breath, “got what you wanted?” she asked in a joking tone, moving her hand up and down his chest in the hot steamy shower. He chuckled, his hands never leaving her body. He palmed her breasts, he seemed to have a thing for those she contemplated, heavy lustful eyes staring into hers. 

“How many more you got in you?” he asked, spreading her legs with his thigh.

“I can give you as much as you want.” Y/N answered, her hands slowly roaming down lower and lower on his chest and stomach. 

“Then no, I didn’t get what I want yet.”

-

She woke up in Sidney’s bed the next morning with messy hair and sore muscles. Looking over on the nightstand the clock read 8:02 AM. She was glad that it was a Saturday and she was able to sleep in. She saw that Sidney was still asleep, he laid on his stomach with his head facing the other way. Looking over his back, studying the freckles, the faded scars. Y/N wants to stay in this moment for as long as she can. 

She hates to admit but she really fell for Sidney. Not because of how skilled he was in bed, or because he could do wicked things with his hands, but she shared a few heartfelt conversations with him before tryouts even began. 

He cared for the kids at school, the kids he taught and the kids he coached. He had a heart for the coming generation. He wanted them to have someone in their corner, and some kids don’t have that at home and he wants to be that. She got lovestruck in the past few months, sure she never planned on sleeping with him, she felt young again with how big of a crush she had. It went straight to her head, it all moved so fast. 

God if her mother were still here she could just hear the word “slut!” come out of her mouth if her mom found out what happened. But she wouldn’t care. She enjoyed it, and she was sure Sidney enjoyed it too. 

But still, she can’t help but think to herself what did I just do?

Sidney turns his head and sees that she’s also awake. Raising up he sees the time, 8:10. He doesn’t even care that he missed his morning workout session an hour late. He puts his arm around her and pulls her closer to him, tucking his head in her neck. With dry lips Sidney placed a tender lingering kiss on her hot skin.

It might be worth it for once, she thinks. 

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[should-be-sleeping]

Tough day today... and friendly reminder that being human is easier when we help each other.

I saw one of our neighbors, an older woman we sometimes talk to in passing, sitting outside of her house. I don't know what exactly made me look twice, but on second glance as we drove by I realized her walker was in the grass. She was otherwise just sitting there, like she had a thousand times before, so it would have been easy to assume she was fine and go on with my life as normal but something told me to go check in on her anyway.

She was not fine. She was the polar opposite of fine. Just diagnosed with terminal cancer not fine. No next of kin not fine. A veteran facing eviction from her house for missing rent while in the hospital not fine. In constant debilitating pain not fine. Only semi-lucid not fine. She was extremely alone not fine.

I thought, at most, she might be bored while unable to pick up her walker not fine. A five minute detour from my day not fine. A help her back into her house and say "see you later!" not fine. Instead I spent the last three hours with her because she was so scared and alone and no one should be alone.

We talked a lot while I was there. She's actually two years younger than my mom (who also has cancer but slightly better luck, I guess). I helped her into her house and got her a drink and we talked about what all is going on with her. None of it was good. I was as reassuring as I could be, but there's only so much of this I can actually help her with.

"Why did you come?" she asked through tears.

"Because you looked like you might need some help."

She called me an angel. I told her I was just doing my best. I told her that kindness should never be rare. That we should all try to make the world just a little bit better than it was.

She offered to pay me but I told her I was just there as a friend. Before today we were basically strangers. No need to repay me with anything other than her company, I assured her. She cried, a lot. I managed not to somehow. Something tells me she had needed to cry long before this but in being Strong she never had the chance to.

She needed to get her mail, which is a long walk when you're disabled because it is not at all handicap accessible (across a parking lot, over a bridge, across a small field). So I helped her get her mail. We stopped every three feet because her pain was so bad, but she was determined to be able to go do this with me and not just send me on an errand. I patiently stayed with her and reminded her, through her apologies, it was fine to take our time: there was a nice breeze and birds were singing. She appreciated this. She loves nature.

Halfway back she said she wanted to go to the pool. To put her feet in the water. She loves water, and has not been able to even see the pool in a month. Neither of us were dressed for swimming, but I took her to the pool anyway. There is a stair leading down to it, meaning she couldn't bring her walker, so I offered her my arm.

We went to the pool. She put her feet in the water and then, with more energy and enthusiasm than I'd seen the whole time, she jumped in. In her fancy dress! She was instantly ten years younger at least, clear and happy, floating in the sun. Dress and all. She grew up with a pool and had been on a swim team.

I sat by the edge of the pool while she swam, keeping her company and also making sure she was okay. When she got tired I took her back home and then had to help her get undressed and redressed. I made sure she felt no shame. Getting out of wet clothes is hard for anyone, let alone someone with like twenty pounds of tumors racking them with constant pain.

She was so fucking happy to have gone swimming.

She is trying to "make everything right" before she goes. Trying to repay her debt to society and her debts in general. She couldn't understand why the corporation that owns our houses wouldn't take her money. She was genuinely distressed -- not to be homeless on her deathbed but to not leave this world with a clean slate. I told her intent matters. She can only do her best.

This company not letting her repay her debt was their fault, not hers.

When I finally needed to go, I told her to let me know any time she needed a hand or just wanted company. She told me she was going to die tonight. I told her I hoped not, so I could see her tomorrow. I offered her a hug, we hugged and she sobbed for a solid ten minutes into my shoulder. I told her she was okay. That it was okay.

When I got home I cried myself, because I could not believe she was going through all of that alone. I cannot even imagine how isolated she must have felt. Once I pulled myself back together I sent her a text reminding her to reach out any time and I'd do my best to come over. Like, any time at all.

I hope she is here tomorrow.

[ladykailitha]

The Harrington Pattern Part 13

This is it guys, the chapter of this fic. I have had an absolute blast writing and even more so reading all the comments and tags.

This last chapter is dedicated to all those who wanted the moms to bring Steve into their fold. This was also chance for Steve to rip on the haters without fear of his parents ire.

Thank you so much for all the love and support for this little story.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12

****

Claudia was waiting at the Byers’ front door when Eddie pulled up in his van and Steve hopped out.

“Eddie!” she cried happily. “I didn’t know you were coming!”

“Hey, Mrs. H,” Eddie said with a wave. “I’m just dropping Stevie off. We’re hanging out later.”

“That was sweet of you, dear,” Claudia cooed.

Steve in the meantime was pulling things out of the backseat of the van. Eddie looked over at him.

“You need help, darlin’?” he asked over his shoulder.

Steve shook his head. “I’ve got it. Thank you, though.” In lower voice he muttered, “I love you and I’ll see you later.”

Eddie gave Steve’s forearm a squeeze and then waved at Claudia. He backed out of the driveway and was soon gone from sight.

“We’ve got all sorts of surprises for you today, Steve,” she said gleefully clapping her hands together.”

Steve grinned at her. “Mrs. Peterson here yet?”

Claudia shook her head. “She’s always at least fifteen minutes late. Something we were banking on actually.”

Steve cocked his head to the side. “What do you mean?”

But Claudia just ushered him inside. He set his stuff down and then handed her a tray.

“I made blondies,” he said, “I hope you ladies like them.”

She peeled back the foil and gasped. “Steve they look amazing!”

Joyce came out of the kitchen wiping her hands. “What looks amazing?” she asked peering over Claudia’s shoulder. She, too, gasped when she saw them. “Steve, you didn’t!”

Steve grinned. “Your sons always eat the ones I send home with them before they even get home, so I figured you’d appreciate these.”

She kissed his cheek. “You are a dear.”

Claudia laid them out on table next to all the other treats.

On the coffee table were a bunch of things under a large sheet with clowns on it.

“The three of us,” Karen began, “wanted to do something extra special for you after hearing what fun our children had at the Fair because you made sure they did. So we each contributed something toward your love of sewing.”

She lifted the sheet. Underneath was a beautiful sewing kit in navy blue, a light green Singer sewing machine that looked older than he was, and a stack of old patterns.

Steve’s lip wobbled as he raised his hand to his mouth in shock.

“You didn’t have to do this, ladies,” he whispered.

“The sewing kit is from me,” Karen continued. “It’s a beginner’s kit, but it has fabric scissors, a seam ripper, bobbins for your thread and different kinds of needles.”

Steve sat down and pulled it onto his lap. He opened it and as he lifted the lid, the top tray pulled back revealing the tray beneath. “Thank you.”

“The sewing machine,” Claudia said proudly, “is the first one I ever owned. When I got married I got a new one and I’ve been using that ever since. But this ol’ girl has a lot of love and life left in her, and I want you to have her.”

Steve looked up at her, tears forming in his eyes. “Aren’t you worried that I’ll break it? Or that my parents will find it and destroy it?”

Claudia knelt in front of him. “It’s gonna be kept at my house until you get a place of your own. You’re there all the time to see Dusty anyway, no one is going to notice that you’re there to sew now, too.”

“Plus,” Joyce said with a grin. “It’s a Singer. They’re a little hard to break. They’re one of the best machines and it will probably outlast your children. So don’t worry about it, okay?”

Steve nodded, his lip quivering. Claudia kissed his forehead and stood back up.

“The patterns are from me,” Joyce said. “Whenever I would have a little extra money I would pick up a pattern or two at the drug store and bring it home. I picked a handful that I thought you’d like since you’re primarily making costumes. And if those work for you, next week I’ll bring another handful you might like.”

Tears started flowing down his cheeks. “Thank you. All of you. This is best gift I’ve ever gotten.”

“Oh honey,” Joyce said softly and suddenly Steve was being hugged on all sides by the moms.

They stayed like that until there was a knock on the door.

“That must be Olive,” Claudia said with a sigh. “I bet she brought those brownies that are totally store bought even though she insists it her grandmother’s recipe.”

Steve snickered. “My mom used to do that. I don’t think she fooled anyone either.”

Joyce grinned over her shoulder as she went to go answer the door. “Olive, dear! We were just getting started.”

“Oh?” the bright voice on the other side of the door cooed. “You’re usually in the full swing of things by now.”

Steve bristled. That meant she knew she was late and was doing it intentionally. He hated people like that. Acting like the rest of them were peasants meant to be waiting on her.

“Steve was just showing us the costumes he made for the kids for the Fair over the weekend,” Karen said sweetly as Steve hurried to get the things he brought to show off out.

Olive stepped into the house with a sneer. “I think it’s so sweet you’re indulging the boy, but I doubt he can hold a candle to Claudia’s years of experience.”

Wow, Steve thought. Not only did she insult him, but she insinuated Claudia was old. What was with this old bag?

Claudia smirked. “It’s true that I’ve been doing it for longer, but Steve has a real talent for it. Come see.”

Olive walked into the front room and Steve was struck by how much she reminded him of his mother. She had perfectly curled hair with not a single strand out of place. Her clothes were fitted and showed off her figure. Her makeup was flawless.

In short, Steve hated her on sight.

Joyce handed her the shirt he had made for underneath his tunic. It was flawless but understated.

Olive took the shirt and scoffed. “You couldn’t have done this, Harrington, you shouldn’t lie to your betters.”

Steve was already seeing red. “I guess I’ll just have to prove it to you then.”

Joyce clapped her hands together. “All right, let’s get started. Steve, you can eat as much as you want, but just make sure to keep it away from other people’s projects.”

Steve smiled at her sweetly. “Of course!”

He knew that what she was really saying was that Olive Peterson might try something.

He sat in the armchair away from her and she glared at him.

“Is it all right if I work on my project first before you teach me how to use the sewing machine?” he asked just as she was taking a drink of punch.

Olive was forced to turn away and cough into her hand to avoid spraying everyone with the lemonade that Claudia had made.

Karen’s smile was feral. “I don’t see why that would be a problem, right, Claudia?”

“Of course not, Steve,” she replied warmly. “Just let me know when you want to learn and I’ll come over and help you.”

Steve nodded. He pulled out the materials that Eddie suggested he bring and got to work.

Eddie really liked that Steve’s bags had a lining because it protected the dice better, so Steve had brought along some materials he could use for that as well.

About halfway through his first bag, Joyce called out.

“Steve? What’s that pattern you’re putting on the bag?”

Steve’s eyes lit up. “It’s my signature! I embroider it on everything I do to make sure people can’t pass it off as their own.” He handed the bag over to her.

“Oh!” she cried in excitement. “This is the design you put on Will and El’s costumes when you did their alterations, right?”

Steve nodded. “I hope you don’t mind. I know you made the clothes, but I thought it was a cute way to tie the two together like they were twins.”

“It was perfect,” Joyce said. “El still hasn’t stopped talking about how pretty your design made the dress.”

Steve blushed as he took the pouch back from her.

“I was talking to someone at the Renaissance Fair,” he said shyly, “and she wanted me make them clothes and things that she would sell for me. She even told me to make business cards in case someone wanted to commission me directly.”

“Oh Steve!” Karen cried. “That’s wonderful!” She clapped her hands together and tilted her head. “I have to admit I’m a little jealous. That pattern is beautiful. I would love a handkerchief with that on it.”

Steve straightened up. “Yeah?”

Karen nodded.

“What color would you like?” he asked excitedly.

Karen tried to protest but he wouldn’t let her. In fact he managed to convince all but Olive to let him make them one for them.

It did, unfortunately take him to the end of the two hours, but he was excited to come next week.

“I’ll even host it at my place!” he said with a grin.

Olive sputtered. “Well I won’t be there if it’s at this young man’s house. That’s so inappropriate.”

The three other ladies looked at each other and then shrugged.

“Your loss,” Karen said dryly.

Olive stormed out of the house vowing that as long as Steve was part of the group she would never come back.

“Well that is a relief,” Joyce said, “I’m not the kind to speak ill of anyone, but we really got quite the upgrade!”

Karen clapped her hands. “Indeed. I can’t wait for next week. I’ve got a new project I’m starting and I found the best recipe for a chocolate mousse that I’ve been dying to try out.”

“Same time next week, ladies?” Steve asked.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Claudia agreed.

Then there came a loud honk.

Steve looked out the window and smiled. “Looks like my ride is here.”

He gather up his stuff, including the patterns and sewing kit and walked out to Eddie’s van.

He slid into the front seat.

“You have fun today, sweetheart?” Eddie asked, pulling out of the driveway.

“Yeah,” Steve said looking fondly at the house. “This has been the best weekend ever.”

Eddie grinned. “Well, it’s about to get even better, just wait to you see what I have planned for us today.”

Steve smiled as Eddie regaled him with his plans and nodded along.

Life was really looking up. He had a platonic soulmate, good friends, an amazing boyfriend, a hobby he enjoyed and could make real money from, and now a group of people to share that hobby with each week.

And to think it all started with a flier about the Renaissance Fair coming back to Hawkins.

“I can’t wait,” he breathed once Eddie was done.

Eddie smiled that sweet smile at always turned Steve’s insides to mush.

Yeah, Steve could honestly say that he was happy.

****

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[akindplace]

For the past few days I kept posting several pictures of my dog asleep in her most treasured possession, her pillow. I never actually told you why she loves it so much. Some years ago, my mom saw a dog being rescued in the street with all her puppies. Turns out some of the people involved with rescuing her worked with my mom, and they decided to make a whatsapp group to help pay for vet bills and to find a place for her and her puppies. They found their home, but it’s harder to find homes for adult dogs, and she was very scared, and untrusting of people from living in the street her whole life.

They called her Valentina, because the name was very popular, but also because the word valente means brave in Portuguese.

She was in bad shape, thin, and with a skin condition. It would be hard to find a permanent home for her.

For whatever reason, my mom told me she wanted to foster the dog for a few days, until we found permanent shelter for her. Just a few days, she kept telling me. So the day comes, we took her in, my mom took her out for a walk, and when she came back, I looked outside and there she was sitting with Valentina on her lap. I asked her for how long the dog was really staying with us, and she said “if possible, forever”. I still don’t know why she wasn’t honest from the beginning because she knows how much I love animals; there was never going to be a way either of us would ever not want to keep her, anyway.

She was terrified of people, and would hide out under the car on her first days here, and it was hard to get close to her for a long while. But one of our dogs started playing with her, and slowly she would hang around us more. My mom felt bad because she would sleep on only a mat, so she gave the dog an old pillow and Valentina took that pillow as her favorite thing. But she would still run away if we came close to pet her while she was on her little bed.

Months later, Valentina finally sat next to me while I was eating to ask for a piece of my food (pão de queijo, because she has good taste). And I was so happy, I cried a little. It took over a year until she trusted us fully.

She learned how to ask for food, for treats, for pets. But she has also learned that in the morning, she wants us to take her pillow from its place my mom’s room and put it in the living room. And at night, she wants us to put the pillow back in my mom’s room. And she knows that if she sits in the specific spot for her bed and stares at us in judgement, we will bring her the pillow. It’s been years now. She is absolutely close with my mom, it almost seems she understands that my mom was the one who decided to adopt her. She got healthier, fatter, happier.

It took years of building trust, and now she lets us pet her, and doesn’t run away in fear. I don’t know what happened to her while she was living in the street but it made her so scared. But what matters is she found safety and belonging here. And everywhere she goes in this house, her little bed has to come along.

And sometimes, my other dog likes to lie down on Valentina’s bed (she has one of her own) and Valentina just stares at us with profound disappointment.

Life is good. I’m glad we could make a difference in her life, because she changed ours too.

[azyimnothere]

HEEEEEELLLLOOOO GUYS GUYS GUYS!!!! 💙💙💙

How are we doing today? I know that they were doing great

It's pretty much an idealized version of what I think that Velchid selfie turned out like, I'd imagine that those little star cameras aren't all that great in resolution since they have so much going on in them to just be able to fly, do you think they'd be like drones or something? If that's the case I can just imagine how bad the paparazzi are in Mount Rageous, or would those cameras only be red carpet exclusive? Who knows, but either way I tried to make it look like a little shittier photo with a lot of blinga-ding from reflection and lights. I hope you guys like it! It isn't my best work to be honest but it's nice 😅

Oh and I don't know if this is already a thing or not, because I checked everywhere and couldn't really find it, tell me if you know someone who made this thingy first so I don't falsely claim it as mine okay?

So it's one where Orchid becomes a surprise assistant to Velvet and Veneer! (And of course Velchid is sprinkled in...not really sprinkled in, more like there's a full tub of salt)

So here's a little backstory if you want to know :D

As we know, there was mentioning of an assistant in the movie, or I just imagine it, I'm not sure atp it's 3 in the morning.

Anywhezel, so I thought it would be in one of those accidental encounters by chance.

Crimp had a hard day, on the verge of a breakdown every second because siblings became "kinda" overbearing, and with no assistant around to help (because they most likely quit), she had no help around them. There was nobody who was willing to take the job that was licensed for working and helping celebrities that way because of all the horror stories previous assistants shared around. Siblings didn't really care Crimp was alone with them, so they just put all the extra stuff on her.

Crimp knew she needed a bit of help purely to keep her sanity on the line with her, so she decided to take a walk and think about what to do next (after she made sure siblings were in bed of course). She sat on a bench in the nearest neon-colored park and cried, not knowing what else to do, and had to let it out.

But she heard someone approaching, turns out it was a purple haired mount rageon and she looked at Crimp sadly, and asking her what's wrong. That's how Crimp met Orchid!

Orchid was making her way from the grocery store and saw Crimp crying on the bench late at night, Orchid recognised her easily since Crimp was mentioned a few times by the siblings on social media, there were also some photos. Plus, despite being small she was hard to miss.

Crimp explained her situation and told Orchid she couldn't do everything alone anymore, and that no one was willing to take over a bit of the burden since the siblings simply scared everyone off. Which made Orchid feel sorry for her.

But Orchid figured, that she could perhaps help Crimp out, the job at that doughnut shop she worked at just wasn't payed enough for her to move out of her mom's apartment, she wasn't forced to move but craved some independence ever since she turned 18 (which wasn't that long ago).

A good bonus was that she got to work with her favorite duo! despite it probably, being a little challenging.

Orchid gave that proposition to Crimp, which made Crimp a bit sceptical, Orchid was a nice girl and didn't deserve that kind of stress, but Orchid persisted because Crimp didn't deserve all that stress either.

On the end Crimp agreed, it only had to go through the approval of the siblings first.

And as expected, Veneer didn't really mind who was helping Crimp as long as they helped Crimp in the first place, and everything gets done in time.

Velvet on the other hand wasn't all that for it, she remembered Orchid faintly from a memory of a concert, which meant Orchid was a fan, she didn't want some nosy stalker snooping around. But as she inspected further, and listened to what Crimp had to say, she reconsidered it and ended up agreeing, unenthusiastically.

So that's how Orchid is now a busy celebrity assistant for two.

The story is a little basic, but it is solid I think, there will probably be comics about it in the future if you're interested! 💕

Also here's some Ritzneer I didn't post, warning! Boys kissing!!!

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Love you lovelies!!!! 💙💙💙💙

[soberscientistlife]

These stories are so heartbreaking. I know so many women that had to make the choice to abort. I will fight and always vote blue to try and protect a woman's right to choose.

I was 30 years old. I was married. We were happy. We were established. Our 401k runneth over. We decided to start a family. I got pregnant right away. Like right away. We were over the moon. I kept a journal of every day of the magic. I got a bump. I felt our baby kick. I embraced it fully. I rejected tests because "it won't change our path" Emily sent out baby shower invitations. The nursery was under way. And then. I'm almost halfway there! I'm 18 and a half weeks pregnant. The doctor called. It was 7pm. I was out at dinner with my friend Deb. I stepped outside. The day before on a whim I agreed to a blood test. "There's probably nothing to worry about but we need you to come in. There's a 1 in 36 chance something is wrong" I called Liza sobbing. My sister told me to lay out 36 straws and see that there's still such a good chance that everything is fine. I didn't sleep. We drove up to Forsyth because that was the first available amniocentesis. The needle was long. The room was dark. The news was really bad. I changed in that moment forever. It's a girl! We had named her Audrey. Audrey Roesel -- the girl who will make me a mom. She was missing her nasal bone. Her kidneys were tiny. Her heart was missing a chamber. She had an extra chromosome. Part of her brain wasn't formed. Her head was growing at a rate 4x faster than her limbs. I want to be a mom. This is my girl. This situation could really hurt my body. She will be in immeasurable pain. I didn't understand "incompatible with life" I cried. I cried some more. I was already a mom. Moms keep their children from pain. Time is ticking. I'm 19.5 weeks now. We are in Georgia. There's a time limit, you know. It's Labor Day now. Doctors go on vacation. Somehow the world around us keeps on. Not for me. In the interest of time… They sent me to an abortion clinic. Me. At an abortion clinic. After 20 weeks, it's illegal, you know. It's the night before. I ran a bath. I said goodbye to my daughter in that tub. Just the two of us before the world turned upside down. Did you know… You have to go 2 days in a row? 1 to dilate 1 for a D&E It was brutal emotionally. It hurt physically. I begged to be put under. A kind doctor took my hand. His hands were large and warm. He told me I would be a mom one day. He was an angel. I woke up in a group recovery room. In a recliner. Next to a young girl. Maybe 13. She was also recovering. I took her hand. My milk came in. Nobody told me. It hurt in my body and my soul. I grieved. Hard. For months and months. I held onto a teddy bear the size of a newborn. I ached everywhere inside and out. It was a fluke they said. Fast forward four months. Pregnant again. Scared. Excited. First ultrasound. Baby’s gone. Go to the hospital for D&C. This is also considered abortion. They tested the tissue. it was a boy! Chromosomes were normal. Isn’t that good news? Grief ensued. So did genetic testing B and me. I’m not ashamed. I never was. I’m what abortion looks like. So is the 13 year old girl in that recovery room. In Texas we’d be criminals. [And Oklahoma as of 4/14/22] […and in most of the US as of 6/24/22] Access to safe abortion is a woman’s right. And abortion is a decision to be made between a woman, her doctor, her family, and her god. …Not a majority white male cohort of politicians with a false sense of morality. And your judgement? It matters not.

This is why I am pro-choice

[wintersoldiersoul]

She's Here

Summary: When you lose one of the most important people in your life, Bucky is there to support you

TWS: Death of a loved one (best friend), suicide and depression, grief, angst, fluff, talk about what happens after death

You were at your happiest just sitting on the couch with Bucky. It was a rare occurrence that you both had free time like this so you took full advantage when you did. Your body rested against his with his arms wrapped around you, both of you focused on the movie playing on the tv screen. Bucky’s hand idly played with your hair, running the strands through his fingers in the most comforting way.

Suddenly, your phone rang, breaking you out of the peaceful trance you had been in. It was a random number, so you ignored it. But then it rang again. And again. You answered it, curiosity peaked at who was calling you so many times.

“Y/N?” A female voice said over the line. “It’s Y/B/F/N’s mom.” The woman was clearly crying.

Your heart rate picked up. Why was your best friend’s mother calling you at this hour on a friday night? “Is everything okay?” You said, panic rising in your own voice. Bucky’s eyes were fixed on you as you sat up, suddenly much more alert than you had been.

You went stone cold at the next words. She was dead. Your best friend in the entire world, was dead. She had killed herself. She had lost the battle with depression that you knew she had faced her entire life. 

You hung up the phone a moment later with shaking hands. You stared out into the vast openness off the room, not knowing what to do. 

“Baby?” Bucky whispered. He knew something was wrong.

“She’s dead.” Your voice was barely audible. You couldn’t believe you were saying the words out loud. Just hours ago you had spoken to your best friend on the phone, talking about her upcoming trip to visit you in New York. “Y/B/F/N is dead.” 

“What do you need?” Bucky asked immediately. He wanted to wrap you up and hold you but he also understood if you just needed space. He didn’t wanna startle you.

You looked up at him, mouth open, trying to find words. You had no idea what you needed at this moment.

Your body fell into him as the sobs started to wrack your body. He held you close, like he was afraid you might slip away. “I’m so so sorry,” he whispered.

Bucky was no stranger to losing people that he loved. Sure, it might not have been exactly the same. He had woken up from decades of brainwashing in a brand new world, a world where everyone he loved was dead. But still, he understood the feeling of grief.

He knew how close you and your best friend were. You had grown up together. Had done everything together. You never missed your weekly calls, even if you were busy. You always made the time because she was the most important person in your life, next to Bucky. Losing her was like losing half of yourself.

“I-I don’t know what to do!” You cried, struggling to breathe.

Bucky didn’t let go of you that night, carrying you to bed while you sobbed until he finally got you calm enough to sleep.

Three days later

You stared at your reflection in the mirror. This isn’t real, you thought as you smoothed the black dress on your body. This isn't real. She’s gonna call me any second. 

“Are you ready?” Bucky’s gentle voice said. He sounded so far away. Everything sounded, and felt so far away. This isn’t real. 

You sighed. “No. I don’t think there’s any way for me to be ready for this.”

“Today is gonna be hard, I’m not gonna lie.” He walked over to you, wrapping his arms around your frame from behind, just trying to give you comfort in any way. “But I’ll be there the whole time. I’ll be right next to you.”

You cried when you saw her parents. Her siblings. You cried again when the service started, but pulled yourself together before it was your turn to speak.

“Hi everyone,” you began, voice already shaking. “My name is Y/N. Y/B/F/N was my best friend in the entire world. She was my sister.” Your voice cracked as you spoke and you paused to collect yourself. “It’s impossible to put our friendship into words.” You couldn’t control it anymore as a sob rang out from the depths of your body. Bucky immediately rushed up, prepared to do whatever you needed to help you get through the speech. “I-I can’t,” you whispered so only he could hear it.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” he said quietly. He unwrapped himself from you and took your place at the podium. “We became friends on the first day of kindergarten,” Bucky spoke, reading your words for you to the crowd. “The first thing she said to me was that my shoes were ugly and that we had to hang out so that she could pick out new ones for me.” 

You watched from the side as his steady voice recounted your relationship with your best friend. You wished you were stronger. That you could have read the words yourself. But at least Bucky was there to step in when you couldn’t. It was important to you that the things you had written were heard by everyone in that room.

Back at her mother’s house, after the service, you greeted person after person who gave their condolences. It felt like a broken record, sitting there, saying thank you to each and every person who walked through the door. You were exhausted.

“We can go home, baby,” Bucky said, noticing the sad, empty look in your eyes.

You nodded in agreement, suddenly unable to bear another moment of the current setting you were in. 

“I could have done more.” Those were the first words you said when you and Bucky walked into the threshold of your home. “I could have helped her! I could have saved her!”

“Oh angel…” He hugged you, rubbing a comforting hand up and down your back. “You were always there for her. Every single day. You never missed a phone call, never left a text unanswered. She was your world. And she knew that. Trust me, she knew.”

“But what if there was something else I could have done?” You raised your voice, the anger stage of grief beginning to hit. “I should have noticed she wasn’t okay! I- I thought she was better! I thought she was doing better but she wasn’t and I should have known!”

Bucky’s eyes were full of pain. His heart was shattered into so many pieces on your behalf. “Listen to me. You did everything that you could. This is not your fault.”

“I just…” your voice trailed off. “I should have known,” you finished, quietly. “I wish I could tell her how much I love her just one more time. I need her to know.” Hot tears burned down your face.

“She knows. Somewhere, somehow, she knows. She will always know.” 

Later that night, you and Bucky laid in bed. “What do you believe in, when it comes to death?” you asked.

“Honestly? I have no idea,” he said. “I don’t know if I believe in heaven and hell in a traditional sense. But since I don’t know, I chose to believe whatever brings me comfort. I think that people who pass are watching over us, somehow. I like to believe that they can see us and hear us. And that they show themselves to us through the little things. Like a breeze blowing when you think of them. Or even a dream. I think that the dead have their ways of communicating with us.” He stroked your hair as he spoke.

“I like that,” you replied. “I’ve never really known what to believe either. I guess I’ve never really believed in anything. But you’re right. If we don’t know what actually happens, we have to believe in whatever gives comfort.”

“She’s here with you, baby. Somehow, she’s here. And she knows how much you love and miss her.”

You curled up against him. “I don’t know how to live without her,” you said, another round of tears spilling.

“She’s with you, honey. She is.” 

A week later, you and Bucky were on a walk. He tried to get you out of the house as much as possible, terrified that your grief would overtake you and pull you into a darkness that you’d never climb out of. 

“Tell me a story about her,” he said, his hand clutching yours.

“She loved rain,” you laughed lightly. “She was always forcing me to go outside in the rain with her. I don’t know why. But I can’t even tell you how many times we just ran around, getting soaked until we both ended up with colds.”

Bucky smiled at you as you spoke, telling him stories about you and your best friend and how you would stay outside for hours getting drenched.

As you continued, the sky turned gray. Thick, heavy raindrops pounded on the pavement.

“See that?” Bucky said. “She’s here with you. She’ll always be here.”

[orion4ever]

qiu and tamarack with an mc that seemingly NEVER gets sick and then one day they are just in bed an entire day with the worst fever, they're loopy and dazed and more prone to crying just because they accidentally stubbed their toe or sneezed one to many times.

Author’s Note: I hope you enjoy this, I am sort of like this. One day id feel fine and then the next day my stuffy nose basically suffocates me lol

I wrote this for Step 2 but if you wanted Step 1 then please do request again!

Pairing(s): Qiu Lin x MC and Tamarack Baumann x MC

🍂🗒️

QIU LIN🗒️

They always wondered how you never got sick.

I headcanon that Qiu gets colds often so they’re curious about what witchcraft or tricks your pulling that make you immune.

So when you do get sick, they are surprised, to say the least.

If you were feeling loopy and saying random gibberish then they can’t help but tease you a little.

“Do you think, If you road your bike..fast enough *sneeze* you could…*sniff* rewind time.”

“…Probably.”

When you do end up emotional maybe after leaving your chicken noddle soup to cool down for a bit and then eating it to realize it was cold

Or

Coughing hard enough that it hurts your throat and start crying. Then Qiu would be so doting and sad that you have to go through this.

They’re an angsty teenager but have the biggest soft spot for you and hates seeing you so miserable and ill.

They don’t try and invade your space when you’re sick since as I said, they are somewhat sick prone.

When your mom has to eventually ask Qiu to leave so that you can rest, Qiu will write notes and slide them under your door and talk to you from the other side.

Or maybe even, cup phones. They see them as childish but it’s just you and them anyway so who even cares?

Once you feel better or at least better enough to rejoin society, Qiu is definitely making sure you get some fresh air.

You owe them the time the two of you missed from being sick and they missed you!

You were sick.

You got caught in the rain yesterday and thought it was the best idea to tough it out after forgetting your umbrella.

Your dear mother had banished you to your bedroom, leaving a bowl of hot soup and some water on your bedside table.

You were miserable, today was such a nice day. The days after a rainy day were always the best so it sucked that you were stuck in your room. You had nothing to do and were spacing out while constantly readjusting your pillow.

You heard noise from downstairs and slumped out of bed and cracked your door open to see who it was.

“I am sorry, Qiu. MC is sick today. I don’t think it's best to have a hangout.” You heard your mother say, sympathetically to your crush.

“Really? They never get sick..” Qiu replied, a confused tone making an obvious appearance in their voice.

“MC got wet while it was raining yesterday-“ your mother explained, her voice becoming more muffled; like she was moving around.

“Aw, man. Ms. L/N, Could the two of us hang out, I promise to “ They’re voice also begun to be muffled up, like the walls were swallowing their words.

You had already assumed that your mother would be true to her word and keep you quarantined until you were feeling better and you hated how much she cared about you at that moment.

You were so drowsy from the medicine, the lights were too bright and you accidentally knocked your hand on the bedpost and everything just SUCKED.

You slowly closed the door and slid down it. Becoming too lazy to bother. You wanted to cry a little, You didn’t cry that often; I mean you were 14. What 14-year-olds cries because they’re sick? Like, please.

You brought a hand to your eye to wipe a stray tear from your eye, I guess you were the rare instance of crying teenagers. Contemplating crawling back to your bed, you suddenly felt the door open a little before something was thrown into your room like a grenade.

The door closing was barely noticed by you as you quickly turned to see what was thrown into your room.

A paper cup, with a string attached to it and leading out the door.

A small smile appeared on your face, your eyes glossing over at the gesture; You already knew who was the culprit behind it.

You picked the cup up from the floor and put it up to your ear.

“Hey. Sorry, you’re sick..” they apologized sincerely.

“It’s fine, really *sniff*” you replied, getting comfortable against the door and talking into the cup.

“I am not used to being sick.”

“I can tell. In the four years I've known you, You have NEVER gotten sick.” Qiu said, a little surprise in their voice.

“I know right, I hate it!”

And the conversation went from there, You two talked for what seemed like hours.

Debated about if you churned premade butter, would you get more butter or if it would turn to milk?

Played hangman with a shared paper that was pushed under the door multiple times.

They hated hearing you cough and suffer and hoped that you got better.

Qiu stayed with you until it was late, promising a fun day at the diner tomorrow.

TAMARACK BAUMANN🍂

She unintentionally babies you so hard when you get sick.

I have a headcanon that Tamarack barely gets sick, mostly due to her just being able to run around in just a scarf and no hats or jackets.

She believes that no one is immune to sickness but when you finally do get sick, she’s a little surprised but is ready to bring you her Omi’s soup and her company.

If you were feeling especially loopy or dazed then she would giggle A LITTLE, but then stop because she felt bad.

“pfft hehe- Oh no, that's not right. I am sorry!”

“…Do you think when you are born, that you’re the youngest person in the entire world?”

When you do get sad and emotional over small things and start bawling over it then Tamarack is so quick to try and help.

Accidentally slam your hand on a table? The table is now moved away for now. The water scratches your throat when you drink it? She’s getting you some tea, you like honey with yours; right?

When you are stuck in bed and have nothing to do, then count on Tamarack to give you some company. She doesn’t even really care if she’s potentially getting herself sick by being around.

She’s bringing stuff from outside and putting it on your table as a gift and chatting with you.

She understands not having someone around your age to talk to and she doesn’t want you feeling abandoned when you’re stuck in your room until you feel better.

And when she eventually has to be asked to leave from your mother, she will be writing you letters, drawing, and collecting forest finds to either wait to give you or give to your mother to send up to you.

She even gets a ‘Get well soon’ card and tries and get everyone to sign it for you.

Which admittedly isn’t all that hard.

You have lots of lovely people around in your life, Tamarack being a special one.

“MC, You are burning up..” Your mother said worriedly, laying the back of her hand on your forehead.

“*sneeze* this is the worst.” You groaned, regretting your past choices up to this point. This morning, you had forgotten to bring a jacket and it was much chillier than you were used to.

“That's why I always remind you to bring yourself a jacket.” Your mom sighed, getting up.

“I will start making you something to eat. I will make you some oatmeal, stay all cozied up in bed and take it easy.” She gave you a motherly smile, patting your knee before leaving with the door closing gently behind her.

You were now alone.

This did suck, You had promised you would go over to Tamarack’s and you hated flaking on your promises.

So you just sat in your bed, twiddling your thumbs. Maybe you could start on assignments right now..? Nah. That was boring, your body’s immune system was already torturing you; let's not add homework to it.

You could draw something? Reorganize? Watch a video online-

Before you could bore yourself to death, you heard a pebble being thrown at your window and moved your attention to that.

You got up from your bed and wrapped yourself in your blanket before stepping over to the small window to reveal...

Tamarack!

You opened the window and received another pebble, barely missing you; earning an apologetic gasp from the ginger girl outside.

"Sorry! I wasn't aiming for you!" she apologized, waving her hand side to side as a greeting. You smiled before moving your face away from the window to cough.

"It's okay, Tama! *wheeze*" You reassured her, leaning on the ajar window to hear her better.

"I wanted to come inside but your mom said you were sick and was quarantining you.." Tamarack sighed before pulling something from her pocket.

You could barely make out what it was, that's until Tamarack got into paper airplane position and aimed for it at the now open window.

You moved out of the way just in time for her to throw it and......

She sticks the landing! The paper airplane flew right into your room and onto the ground. You picked up the white and red lined paper and turned back to Tamarack to open it.

Inside the airplane were a few pressed flowers and a little note.

'Get Well Soon!' was written in big letters; little notes from other people were below it.

'I hope you feel better'-Ren

'Expect me to break into your house soon.'- Qiu

'Make sure to get lots of rest'-Vianca

'See you when you get better!!'-Serenity

and finally, the sweetest one.

'Thinking of you, always! I will keep you company until you feel better! :)'-Tamarack

You smiled big before yelling down from your window. “Tamarack?”

“Yeah?” She replied , looking up with a shy smile.

“You are a angel”

[lani-heart]

|| series masterlist || next // previously

parings -> riki nishimura x reader genre -> non-idol au, school au, hyrbid au warnings -> neglectment / rejection word count -> 2.1k

abstract -> How far do we have to go to be together forever?

no one’s perspective

“I don’t want any hybrids” you muttered and they sighed. They were trying hard to find their daughter a companion especially since they couldn’t give her a little sibling. 

She was happy by herself… She wasn’t solitary, she liked her parents' attention and made friends with her father’s friend’s kids. However, she needed a hybrid to show off, preferably one that could blend in with high status. 

While her parents gave up in Korea, they took their daughter to their appearances, hoping she would find one in China… which wasn’t ineffective. Nor the Japanese Adoption Center… 

It wasn’t until they weren’t paying attention to her when she wandered off… in Japan. Somewhere where she could barely communicate. 

She stayed put hoping her parents would come soon but her tantrum was slowly rising… It wasn’t until a boy, dirty and looking like he roughhoused with others, handed her a fish-shaped pastry… called a bungeoppang. 

She grabbed it and stared confused as to why he’d give her this. He looked hungry… and she ate an expensive hotel breakfast, while she doubts he even ate yesterday. He looked skinny… a little too skinny. 

She handed it to him… 

He then said something she didn’t understand… he asked her in Japanese, “Are you lost?” 

“Oh thank goodness!! y/n!!” I heard and I saw my mom and dad rush to me. “Are you lost?” she heard her dad ask and he didn’t understand, when her dad soon switched to speaking Japanese.

He took off his beanie to reveal his cat ears… 

niki’s perspective

“You’re an idiot. I hate living the life of a socialite… I hate being scolded by your dad, but I also hate how I have to keep up with you” I confessed and saw the hurt look in her eyes.

“But… you’re my best friend. I love living with you, taking care of you, everything about you” I said and she looked confused. “I wanted to do the etiquette classes, cause I know your dad is asking you to replace me. He has for years… he’s not quiet about that” I said and she looked away. I knew she tried to hide that from me… 

“I want to be better–” “You’re an idiot too!” she cut me off and I chuckled. “I told you, stop trying to change yourself for me! I like you for who you are not for who you want to pretend to be! So tell me if you want another–” “I don’t want to live with someone else. I told that hawk that one day you might do the same… but not willingly. I know you’d never abandon me… never willingly” I said and her eyes widened.

I guess that's what she didn’t hear. 

“I told him, I have to behave better for your dad. So I can continue being by your side” I said her eyes watered and I chuckled. She pouted and looked away now embarrassed. I hugged her while she tried to look away. 

“I’m sorry” she muttered and I smiled. “Just… don’t be mad at me anymore,” I said and she shook her head and hugged me tightly while hiding her face. “I wasn’t… I was just worried you got sick of me” she said and I smiled. 

“I’d never get sick of you… I promise” I said and she nodded. “I owe you everything… I'm glad I tried to help you that day. You changed my life for the better, and I’ll always be grateful y/n”

She cried after our misunderstanding and I'm just happy she’s gotten those thoughts out of her head. She’s taking a little nap while I wait for the bungeoppang to arrive after I couldn’t make it. 

She still didn’t understand that I live for her… my existence is for her. 

Which is why I needed to be better for her. So no one can tear us apart… I hope she doesn’t misinterpret my words again or at least learns to ask me for clarity. 

“Mhmm… has it arrived yet?” she asked and I chuckled. “Not yet, yome-chan” I teased and she whined and playfully smacked my arm. yome-chan… it's a cute way of calling her my wife. 

It's funny… we always told each other we’d wait for one another and yet we did silly things like get married in Japan that one time. Her parents still didn’t know about that detail. 

When we were both eighteen, we got married. No one knows… nor do they question our matching wedding rings. To others, we were just close… it's not even like anyone would suspect it. 

“You’re thinking too much,” she said and I laughed. “I want the bungeoppang already” I whined and she groaned. “It's been an hour!” she complained. 

“I think our delivery guy scammed us,” I said and she laughed. “First you use wheat flour and now we got robbed,” she said and I scoffed. 

I soon heard our doorbell. I went up to get it… “Why are you here?” I asked and he grinned. “Is y/nnie here?” he asks and I scoff. “Hyunsuk is here” I announce and she sits up. 

“Huh?” she said confused as she joined me by the door. “I assume this is yours by the way the driver just gave it to me thinking it was mine,” he said and it was bungeoppang! I took it and opened it as they talked. 

“What do you mean? Is she okay?” y/n asked. “Yeah… our parents just want her to marry some guy to give him the business since I can't anymore”

“I was hoping you’ve seen her?” he asked and she shook her head. “I wish she weren’t so similar to me,” he said and I scoffed. His sister was too similar to him… “You don’t think one of your friends has seen her?” she asked and he shook his head. 

“She’s MIA,” he said… he looked worried, maybe even stressed. “I’ll keep looking for her,” she said and he nodded. “I heard you’re taking etiquette classes?” Hyunsuk asks me and I scoff and don’t answer him. 

“Maybe you do need them” he muttered and got punched by y/n. “Hey! Sorry… it's okay I think those classes are useless, to be honest, my family hybrid can be as chaotic as me… but he’s the sweetest and cutest thing” he said… he was talking about Asahi.

“Well, y/nnie, if you find out anything about my sister I'd appreciate it. Maybe you can get your scary friend to see?” he asked about Wonyoung. I wonder… she was friends with his sister but for her to randomly disappear… it's not like they talked often, which was weird since they’re siblings. 

“I hope she hasn’t found any trouble”

The next day I went in to see Jake… he looked… sad.

“Oh! Riki!” he said suddenly, smiling at me. “All good?” I asked and his grin faltered. “How’d you get so lucky to get your owner to keep you?” he asked and I shrugged. 

“I approached her when we were kids… and I just so happened to be lucky with her,” I confessed but he seemed out of it… “Are you okay?” I asked and he sighed.

“Am I doing something wrong? I just want… what you have with your owner” he muttered and I sighed. “If I'm being honest… to find something similar would be rare, even a miracle,” I said but it seemed to worsen his mood. 

I didn’t want to give him false hope… finding the perfect owner was rare. It is a dream come true, it is for me at least. The class went on normally and I went outside to see her waiting with a tail ring. Everything was how it should be… I was at peace again. 

“Hmm… Niki, where's your coat?” she asked and I noticed I must've forgotten it. “You should ask the teacher tomorrow if you found it,” she said and I was going to respond when suddenly…

“I see you two are back to normal” I heard as I saw Wonyoung and y/n smiled. “It was a misunderstanding!” she grinned.

“Well, before I go I need to talk to you about Hyunsuk’s sister. She was spotted at a club in Jeju Island, far from Seoul '' she said and I was shocked, all the way there?

“I’ll text that to Hyunsuk, I hope she isn’t in too much trouble,” y/n said and WOnoung shrugged. “You know how she is, not like I blame her. Their parents are way overboard” she mentioned and I hear rumors about them. 

They were so strict that their oldest refused to take the company and even disowned his parents…. Hyunsuk has always been a troublemaker, but his little sister always tried to make her parents proud even at parties. Her sad smiles and sad eyes… She was never one to run away. 

“Eh?! I don’t want to!” I complained and she sighed. “Niki, please… don't you want to prove my dad wrong?” she asked and I sighed. “Fine, but after that can we go to the street market?” I asked and she chuckled.

“I was actually going to ask that too!” she said and I smiled. “Niki?” she asked and I looked at her waiting… Why did she look nervous?

“Don’t be mad?” she asked and I was confused… “My dad also set me up with a date for today. He’ll pick–” “You agreed?” I asked and she shook her head. He’s done this before… it's why we couldn’t show off we were together. Hybrid-Human relationships were… taboo in the wealthy world.

We’re seen as objects and not… humans. Even though we function like them, some of us have better abilities than humans depending on our animal counterparts… but we also have animal characteristics. 

There's… been cases where if they find out their kids were in relationships with the family hybrid then… they’ll get taken away. I… was okay with hiding it as long as I could be by her side. 

“Ok then… I’ll be on my best behavior” I promised and she nodded as we started to get ready. I got into the black suit she laid out for me. I sometimes wondered if she really did want another hybrid or… a human boyfriend. 

I went out of my room to see her door was open, silently letting me go in to see her get dolled up in her black dress and jewelry adorning her skin. 

“You’re dressing up for him too?” I teased and she scoffed. “I don’t need an excuse to look pretty” she corrected and I nodded. “But you’ll look pretty for me right?” I asked and she gigged. 

“For you maybe there's an exception,” she said and I smiled. 

Tonight I had to be on my best behavior… etiquette classes have taught me something.

We had been waiting outside… for a while now for this guy to come pick her up. Finally, we saw a black car arrive. “I’m so sorry!” I heard as he opened the door and bowed to us. I suddenly smelt a hybrid… a cat hybrid. 

“It's alright, it wasn’t on purpose,” she said and he sighed. But I heard a scoff… What was her problem? He soon grabbed the door and let her in and even waited for me to get in as well before he closed the door and got in from the other side. 

The cat hybrid in front of us wasn’t… happy to see us. 

“Behave” he whispered to her and I scoffed. 

“So, y/n uhmm…” he didn’t even know what to say to her. While the cat hybrid glared at y/n and I was starting to get annoyed… “Look, I know my dad is insistent in wanting me to get into a relationship but I’m not looking for one,” she said and he looked so relieved while the cat hybrid’s eyes lit up. 

“You’re the first girl my mom has set up with me who said that,” he said and I was confused. “Let's enjoy tonight then… as friends?” he asked and she chuckled. “Please?” she agreed. 

“Your mom also mentioned something about…” y/n trailed off while looking at me. What was she implying? “Ah… I haven’t told her yet” he said while petting the cat hybrid who looked confused and annoyed with him. 

“How about we make a deal?” he asked her and I was confused. What is going on now?

“Can we try to have a fake relationship?”

taglist -> @ilovecheese09 @gudkc @nikisvanillaccola @blossominghunnie @mheretoreadff @k1ttylvr @starzniiky @kibs-and-bits @b3tt7boop @in-somnias-world @lol6sposts @xiaoderrrr @jihyosgfremade @b-a-nshee-blog @mimisamisasa @katsukis1wife @eggomi @thunderous-wolf

please don't be a silent reader !! reblog, comment, and like <3

[cowgurrrl]

Sweet Creature

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader (plus platonic Ellie Williams x fem!reader)

Author’s note: holy shit thank you for your ideas this is my favorite. also i put it in the tags of darlin’ i’d wait for you BUT there is a beautiful easter egg in the baby’s first and middle name and the first person to tell me what it is gets a kiss on the mouth

Summary: “Helping one another is part of the religion of our sisterhood.” - Jo March, Little Women aka Ellie rescues you and Joel [1.3k]

Warnings: newborn DRAMA, post-partum anxiety if you squint, Joel being a softie for his daughters

"C'mon, Charlie girl, you've gotta help us out." You mumble as you bounce your crying baby around the room. It's been an hour of her crying nonstop, and you've tried everything. Nursing, changing her diaper, changing her clothes, burping, changing the room's temperature, and playing music. You even went as far as to check her for any injuries that you may have missed. You're not sure what kind of trouble your one-week-old could've gotten into to warrant an injury, but you're exhausted, and it seemed to make sense. 

Joel woke up with her first, as he has done every night since you gave birth, so you had the chance to get some rest. Recovery has been rough for you, and he's already doing so much for you. He and Ellie barely let you get out of bed most days because they want to ensure you take the time to heal. Even though the thought is nice, you wake up and listen when Joel gets up with her every time. It's not that you don't trust him. It's that you're already the world's lightest sleeper, and Joel is deaf in one ear and is rarely aware of just how loud he is. You also don't mind secretly watching as he lays her on his bare chest in the low light of your room, singing to her or explaining what he's doing for her to engage her little brain. He's caught you staring at least twice since she's come home. 

But tonight was different. She woke up crying and was pretty much inconsolable until Joel brought her over to you. She nursed for a minute or two before wrenching away from you and screaming. Since then, you and Joel have been taking turns trying to get her to go back to sleep. It's hard having a newborn with two capable parents. You have no idea how you had a baby as a single mom. 

"D'you wanna try to feed her again?" Joel asks as he stands next to you, disheveled and overwhelmed but trying his best to comfort the both of you. 

"I don't know," you shake your head, your throat starting to feel like sandpaper. You were always the more emotional person in your relationship, but postpartum emotions are nothing compared to your regular ones. "I don't know what's wrong." You cry. Joel touches your back and makes a sympathetic noise as tears fall down your face.

"Let me take her for a little bit so you can sit down, okay?" He suggests as he carefully takes Charlie from you. She chuffs at the transition before going right back to screaming her head off. You sit on the edge of the bed and watch as he holds her like a football and hums what sounds like Hank Williams to her. You'd be surprised if she could even hear him over her own crying, and you take a deep breath, racking your brain for what could be wrong. 

"What are you doing to her?" Ellie asks as she walks into the room, rubbing sleep from her eyes. She's wearing one of Joel's shirts and hand-me-down shorts from Maria, and her hair is as messy as Joel's. If you weren't still crying, you think you'd probably laugh. 

"She's just a little fussy. You can go back to bed." Joel says, but she shakes her head and walks over to where he's standing with Charlie. 

"What's going on, bug? Huh?" She asks, crouching to look at Charlie's tired, sad eyes. She may have your eye shape, but she got those heartbreaking brown eyes from Joel. When she cries like this, they look like the saddest puppy dog eyes in the world. "D'you want me to try?" Ellie asks, and Joel shoots you a look.

You've been very intentional about not putting too much pressure on Ellie to help with the baby. She's sixteen, and she shouldn't have to be burdened with that if she doesn't have to be. You told her she could help as much or as little as she wanted, but she took it upon herself to help more often than not. You just didn't want her to wake up for midnight cry sessions or feel like she had to be put in a parenting position. She's still a kid.

"It's worth a shot," Joel says, and you shrug, way too tired to argue with him. He carefully passes Charlie to Ellie, who cradles her close and pushes her hair out of her face. Joel stays nearby in case she decides to hand the baby off, but he doesn't intrude on their moment.

"Hey, it's alright. You let it all out," Ellie says as she sways. Her fingers muss Charlie's hair, and she's quieting down. Not a lot, but enough to see it as crying instead of blood-curdling screaming. "I've got you, sweet girl." Ellie's hand moves to her chest, gently scratching and rubbing little circles into Charlie's onesie, and like magic, she stops crying. She turns her little head toward Ellie and yawns big and long like we kept her up. You sigh in relief and tip your head up to the ceiling as silence fills the room. Your ears are still ringing, and your body hurts, but it's quiet. 

It would be easy to claim that Charlie calmed down because Ellie's wearing one of Joel's worn shirts or that she just finally hit a wall and fell asleep, but you like to think she was just missing her sister. Joel looks between Ellie and Charlie in disbelief, mumbling "shit" under his breath. "What can I say? She loves me." She shrugs, and you quietly laugh as she walks over to the rocking chair in the corner and curls up with Charlie. She snags the yellow blanket one of the older women in town knitted for you off the back of the chair and drapes it around them. You would think they've known each other for centuries. 

Joel is still standing in the middle of the room, his curls a mess on top of his head, as his sleep-deprived brain tries to piece together what happened. He scratches at his stubbly jaw and shakes his head as he thinks. "You don't have to stay up with her. I can put her back in the crib." Joel offers, and you watch her hold on Charlie get a little tighter.

"It's gonna take me a long time to fall asleep. You guys should get some rest. I've got her," Ellie says, a smile pulling at her lips. "Besides, I like hanging out with her." You would cry again if you had the energy, but you don't. Instead, you crawl back into bed and get comfortable. Joel looks to you for confirmation, always looking for your approval as the mother of his child before making any decisions, but you're already half-asleep again.

"If she's volunteering, I'm not gonna stop her," you mumble into your pillow. "Just don't fall asleep."

"Sir, yes, sir," Ellie says. They may have stayed up talking. You're not sure, but when you wake up, Ellie is between you and Joel in bed, and Charlie is in her crib. She's tucked under the arm Joel is using to hold your waist as he sleeps, and her hand is on his chest. He's snoring lightly as he holds you both, perfectly content to cuddle with his girls in bed. You smile and kiss each of their heads before falling asleep again.

You vaguely remember fearing how the new baby would affect Joel and Ellie's relationship and worrying if Ellie and the baby would get along. You don't know exactly why Charlie was crying last night or why she calmed down so fast once Ellie had her, and you don't need to. 

Sometimes a girl just needs her sister. 

Sometimes a father just needs to baby his sixteen-year-old a little longer.

🍓

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taglist: @evyiione @nyotamalfoy @abbyhaslongshorts​

[gadriezmannsgirl]

your writing is PHENOMENAL girl! Can we get part 8 of breastfeeding Mateo and Pablo and Lena are chilling in the room watching a movie or napping beside reader? And you guys explain to Helena what you are doing

I don't know if I broked some hearts with my latest fic but here's some dad gavi @pablogavisgirl asked for right after H,H&H

Also known as Gender Reveal (8)!

Family Learning -P.G

Summary: Helena's curious with a few things

You were told the why's, the what if's, the how's, the who's and mostly questions of everything, were around seven years old. Why on earth Helena has anticipated that? She was four- five in two mon-oh god how fast they grow up!

Anyways, why on earth Helena was often questioning every single thing you and your husband, Pablo did, if it wasn't supposed to be the time to do so.

Still, you and Pablo tried to explain everything you could for her, so it wasn't a surprise when you were hanging out the four of you, cuddling while watching Miraculous LadyBug; Lena in Pablo's lap as you were cuddled into his side and the youngest of the family, Mateo was sleeping in his baby carrier next to you until he started to wriggle and fuss, you detached yourself from your husband's hold before the cries got louder and got him out.

Instantly when he sensed you, his babbles got quieter but not enough to make you stop your little bouncing movements.

"Hijo" You said rocking him side to side "Poo? Piss?" You felt his diaper and saw it, clean. "Hungry?" You asked him getting him ready in your arms.

One thing you learned with Lena was to be on easy access tops for whenever they were hungry and needed breastfeeding.

You undid your top and gave Mateo your chest, as he quickly latched himself on it. Once both, you and Mateo were comfortable you nestled yourself back in Pablo's hold as he caressed the skin of your waist, his gaze turned now to you and his boy.

He never stopped being amazed by all the things you can and are able to do for his babies and even for himself.

"Eres increíble" He murmured (You're amazing)

"You say that everytime I breastfeed"

"Because it's amazing what you and women do" He said as you smiled and kissed him "And not only when you're breastfeeding, I always say it" You nod smiling

"Yes, you do" You kiss his lips briefly "You're amazing too, amor" He kisses you twice before kissing your cheek and winking at you, you blush instantly and push your head into his shoulder

"Something's wrong, mi niña?" You ask Lena watching her watch you

"Mami, ¿Qué haces?" (Mommy, what are you doing?) Lena said after a while looking at you

"I'm feeding your hermanito"

"Why?"

"Why are you feed, Lena?" Pablo asks funny as she smiles and laughs

"No! I mean why in that way? We ate with spoons and plates"

"He can't eat like that for now, Ladybug. Momma feeds him through her. When he gets older, he can eat just like you, me and mom"

"Mommy did that with me?"

"Yes, I did, but I stopped because you needed to start eating food for yourself, I can't breastfeed you forever, you need vitamins that food provides and while I gave you some, I don't deliver every single one of them" You smile at her "Eventually, I will stop breastfeeding Mateo too when he gets older"

"Will he need vitamins too?"

"He will" Pablo said "We all do, ladybug" Pablo smiled his hand going to her hair caressing it lightly.

She forgot her favorite show was on as she watched you in awe, both Páez were, in fact, watching you feed the youngest member of the family. You were looking down, helping Mateo. You hissed when you felt him suck on you hard.

"Teo, hijo" You said softly grabbing his hand and squeezing it lightly "Así, no" (Not like that)

"Don't bite, mommy" She said as you laughed

"It's normal, hija. He's trying to not lose his hold"

"But it hurts you"

"It may do, but it's doesn't matter to me, as long as you and Mateo are good"

"What about dad?"

"The love your dad and I have for each other is different of the love we have for you and for your brother" She looked at you with her big brown eyes and a smile on, then she looked at Pablo and he nodded confirming it

Mateo suddenly let go of your breast and you tucked it back into your top, before putting him into your shoulder and burp him.

"¿Quieres que te ayude, hermosa?" (Want me to help you, beautiful?) Pablo said as you shook your head smiling softly

"You can change him tho when he poo's himself?" Pablo gave you a look as you innocently smiled at him and softly nodded

"I can do that" You wink at him as he kisses your cheek and puts one of his hands on top of Mateo's head, before leaning in and kissing it; then leaning down to kiss Helena's head

"Mommy" She calls you after a while of silence, you hum letting her know you were listening "You're awesome" She says out of nowhere as you stop your doings and look at her with a smile on

"Gracias, mi amor. You're also awesome and will be even more than me" She smiles as you sent her a kiss.

"Told you, you were awesome" Pablo says as you laugh softly getting out of his hold and putting Mateo back in his carrier, now that he was asleep.

"Shut up" You said smiling and leaning back into him once more.

All three of you kept on watching the show when Lena spoke once more

"Did also Daddy ate like that?"

"Well when he was little, your grandma Belén did the same to him and to your auntie Rora" You said "But he doesn't need it anymore"

"Not even from you?" You shook your head trying not to smile or blush

"No" You felt Pablo's gaze on you and it wasn't need for you to look at him to know he was smirking, you felt him squeeze your waist "That's only for newborn babies, Lena" You clarified her

"So, he doesn't need it because he's an old man!" She concluyed as you tried not to burst out laughing and because Pablo's frown

"What do you mean old man, young lady?" Helena looks at you surprised as you look at her back like that

"Run, but don't make a lot of noise!" You told her before watching her run to the patio as Pablo groaned standing up

"You and I will have a few things on, señora Páez" You smile blushing, you saw him dip down and kiss your lips softly.

"Go ahead, old handsome man" You replied watching him raise his eyebrows

"Watch it" You smiled before watching him jog to run behind Helena as you were left with a sleeping Mateo

"Those two are the craziest together" You smiled "But you'll love them either way"

°°° °°° °°° °°°

Taglist: @gaviypedrisbride @stuckinaf4nfiction @elijahslover @azzpenswrld

[hiddenwritingsintheworld]

Cruel Summer Chapter 1 (Chris Evans x Actress/Singer!Reader)

(Okay, So Ive been away for a hot minute. And I've been through quite a bit. But I got inspired to write this and I hope yall love it!! Couple of things. 1.) Taylor Swift doesnt exist in this series, the reader is like taylor swift! 2) dont come for me, I've been chewing on this idea for a few months now lol. 3.) Im almost done with chapter 1 of My Alpha, I know I've gotten some messages about that!! Also, half way through chapter 2 of Midnight rain ;) Enjoy! Let me know your thoughts on this!! love you guys!!!)

Thoughts? Suggestions? General opinion wanted here!!!!!

You’d be delusional to think that he wanted anything more than hookups with you. Being a movie star was hard enough to make a “normal” life ...falling in love with your co-star though...that made everything even worse. That’s what led you to becoming a world famous pop star, releasing smash hit after smash hit. Your smile; when up on that stage, tens of thousands of fans screaming your songs as you sang them, standing ovations, tears of happiness, excitement, thrill, it all made that heartache ease just a little bit. But not all the way. 

“Tonight is a HUGE night, I can’t believe you’re going to announce another album. I’m in awe, really I am.” Your mom said, grabbing your shoulders and looking at you in the mirror of the room you were currently using backstage. “Mom, thanks so much for traveling with me during this tour. It means so much to me.” you smiled softly at her, “especially after everything I’ve been through recently. Wanna know the surprise songs tonight? Or just be surprised like everyone else?” you asked with a soft laugh. 

Your mom and dad were your biggest and best fans you could have ever asked for. Even during the worst time of your life, you’d had your parents support when changing careers. “Awe, let me be surprised like everyone else dear. Your cue is up….come on,” she gave you a big hug and kissed your cheek. “You’re going to be amazing, just like every other night” she beamed before walking out of your dressing room. 

You stared in the mirror, touching up your red lipstick before turning around and walking out. Your bejeweled bodysuit in the colors of your most favorite album you’d put out, pinks and blues. You smiled at the stage crew and everyone working behind the scenes as you walked with your assistant. “Another great sold out crowd out there, the VIP tent is dead center, lots of celebrities are here tonight too.” She smiled before you walked away standing on your mark. 

Listening to the entrance music you’d had custom made, caused the memories to flood your mind. 

You looked over at him grinning as you both reached for a piece of popcorn. “Soooo I thought you wanted to do something else when you asked me to come to your hotel room 10:30 at night.” you smirked as he laughed, throwing his head back. “While yes, I’d love to do that too….I figured it would be nice to watch a movie or two, enjoy a snack and relax together too. I ordered some wine and chocolate covered strawberries too.” he said leaning closer to you, as you bit your lip leaning into him, letting his lips brush yours. The next thing you knew, he had you pinned to the bed, popcorn littering the floor as he kissed down your neck, slowly pushing your shirt off and attacking your chest. 

“Ready? Have fun!!” Your assistant shouted over the music and screaming fans as the platform started to bring you up from under the stage. You plastered a grin on your lips and got in your stance with your mic. 

The moment your back up dancers pulled back the large fabric fans to reveal you, you began to sing one of your songs. The roar of screams, cheers and cries erupted throughout the entire stadium as you came into sight for everyone. The platform continued to rise as you sang, smiling at everyone. 

“It's you and me, that's my whole world

They whisper in the hallway, "She's a bad, bad girl"

Oh, I just thought you should know (you should know)

It's you and me, there's nothing like this (like this)

Miss Americana and The Heartbreak Prince (okay)

We're so sad, we paint the town blue (paint it blue)

Voted most likely to run away with you.” 

The music ended as everyone cheered even louder and you laughed softly, the platform lowering back to the mainstage level; you grinned as the next song began instantly. You loved performing for a crowd, they never made you feel like you weren’t worth the love and attention. You strut toward the front of the stage, beginning to sing the bridge, along with the crowd, when a sight almost threw you off your performance. He stood there in the VIP tent with a cold beer in one hand, his other arm around the shoulders of a petite brunette. 

“I'm drunk in the back of the car

And I cried like a baby coming home from the bar (oh)

Said, "I'm fine, " but it wasn't true

I don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you

And I snuck in through the garden gate

Every night that summer just to seal my fate (oh)

And I screamed for whatever it's worth

"I love you, " ain't that the worst thing you ever heard?

He looks up grinning like a devil” 

You belt out the bridge, the crowd screaming louder toward the end. You tried to not to look at the VIP tent, the urge to see him again, standing there happy with some other girl, you danced around, happily grinning at the crowd, encouraging them to sing along. You finally took a break, smiling wide as everyone clapped and cheered. “Hi!” you said cheerfully. “My name is Y/N and welcome to The Eras Tour,” you grinned as the stadium erupted again. 

“I just want to say thank you to everyone who is here tonight and I hope that I don’t disappoint. I usually perform only two surprise songs a night, however, I’m feeling…fun tonight, so I want to add another song to the list for you all. It’s one that I don't usually perform live. But, I hope you enjoy it.” you smiled as the platform rose and you looked around, the soft jazz music starting as loud cheers erupted. You couldn't stop the smile that landed on your face as you began to sing. 

“We were crazy to think

Crazy to think that this could work

Remember how I said I'd die for you?

We were stupid to jump

In the ocean separating us

Remember how I'd fly to you?

And I can't talk to you when you're like this

Staring out the window like I'm not your favorite town

I'm New York City

I still do it for you, babe

They all warned us about times like this

They say the road gets hard and you get lost when you're led by blind faith

Blind faith” 

You smiled looking around, your eyes landed on him again, he had a look in his eyes, just like how he used to look at you, hunger and desperation for your touch. You put your lips back up to the microphone and made eye contact with him again. 

“But we might just get away with it

Religion's in your lips

Even if it's a false god

We'd still worship

We might just get away with it

The altar is my hips

Even if it's a false god

We'd still worship this love

We'd still worship this love

We'd still worship this love

I know heaven's a thing

I go there when you touch me

Honey hell is when I fight with you” 

You didn’t mean to stare for so long, but the way he looked at you, watching your body move. You wanted to jump off stage and run into his arms again, kissing him, telling him how in love with him you still were, even after the three years that had passed. You felt a tightness in your chest when the girl turned and kissed his neck, and began to dance with him. 

You finished the song not soon after and took a small bow as everyone screamed out. You stood still smiling as the platform began to lower, before diving off to get changed. “I need a minute,” you said as your assistant came up to you. She looked slightly confused as they began to help you into your next outfit. How were you going to continue this concert with him staring at you? You didn’t think you could do it honestly. 

“I can’t believe you changed the set list, We’re going to have to cut one of the surprise songs.” You looked at her. “No we can’t but we are changing them tonight.” you said as they did up the back of your dress. “What?! Why!” she gasped. “Chris is here,” you said looking at her as her face fell. “With some girl.” she sighed putting a hand on her head “Jesus fucking Christ……okay. Tell me what you need.” you looked at her again as tears filled your eyes. “I need a fucking minute.” you grabbed the new mic rushing off.

[linos-luna]

New family 🥀

Bang Chan x Reader

Warning: mention of abuse and sexual trauma

(Pt. 1) — (Pt. 2)

——————————— 🥀 ———————————

Home life was toxic and your childhood was rough. It’s only recently that you moved out of your mom’s house and since then, you only really keep in contact with your siblings.

The whole family dynamic was toxic. From your immediate to extended. Your mom was verbally abusive. Your our dad… well we don’t even talk about him. He went to prison when you were a baby and that’s all you know.

Although you did grow up with a stepdad. A straight up abusive narcissist. Your sibling were your half siblings so you were the stepchild to him. And he abused you on the daily. Verbal, physical, and even sexual… until you finally reported him. But even then, he just moved out.

Living with your mom as an adult was also tense as you two never got along

Eventually you had a moment of clarity. Realizing that this isn’t normal. So you tried cutting them off. It’s hard and you deal with the turmoil of that constantly…

~~~~

You had a friend named Chan, well actually his name was Chris but Chan was a nickname he liked. You met him in college and have been a little more than friends ever since. You never officially dated for a while, only flirting really. Although you suppose you’re dating now since he’s taken you home to meet his family already…

He was so kind. The sweetest guy you’ve ever met. Always so patient with you and loving. He knows your boundaries and always checks in on you.

You’ve told him about your family and he listens, knowing that some people just want someone to listen.

He also supported your dreams, heck his whole family did. He was a producer, and a good one at that, so when you told him that your dream was to be a dancer, he was excited for you and did everything he could to help you. This is the most support you’ve gotten from someone in your whole life.

Often times you felt like a burden. You weren’t the most physically affectionate and you needed constant reassurance that you’re not annoying.

One day you were having it particularly rough. You weren’t sure exactly what it was but your depression was really hitting hard.

Your boyfriend had sensed something was wrong when chatting on the phone with you so he came over.

He did his best to cheer you up. On his way there he picked up your favorite boba drink and some food.

You were happy to see him and gave him a tight hug the second he stepped in.

As you ate lunch, he asked you what was up.

“My mom called me…” you said with a sigh.

“Yeah?”

“It just… wasn’t good.”

“I understand.” He said while patting your hand. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

You nodded and continued eating. “How’s the new song going?”

“It’s great. Almost finished!” He replied with a smile. “This is definitely going to be one of my best works.”

“All your work is the best.” You said with a giggle.

“Yeah well, how’s my pretty girl doing? Any auditions lately?”

“Yeah I’m gonna be a back up dance in another music video. I just got the call yesterday.” You said with excitement.

“And you didn’t tell me?” He said in a teasing voice.

“Well I didn’t want to bug you, Channie.”

“You never bug me babygirl.” He replied with a sigh. “Never ever.”

After lunch you both went to the living room to relax. Sometimes you just liked laying with him. He was so warm.

A buzz from your phone, got you distracted from a moment. You looked at the text message and got quiet. It was from your mom.

> Why can’t you just be happy?

You hate when she says that. Always disregards your feelings. You got up and went to your room. Chan was confused and followed after you, just to see you crying on the bed.

“Babygirl, what happened?” He said while sitting next to you.

“Why is she like this?!” You cried. “She can’t just leave me alone!”

Chan looked at the message and hugged you.

“It’s okay, baby—”

“No it’s not!” You blurted out while standing up: “I hate it! I hate it! I hate it!!”

You shook your head, seemingly trying to pull your hair out.

“Okay. Okay.” He said calmly while taking your hands. He was still sitting and had you stand in front of him. “Babygirl, don’t hurt yourself. Look at me…”

You paused and only looked at him with a pout.

Chan wiped your tears and frowned. He hated seeing you like this. He wants to take you away from all this. He wants you to live with him and leave everything behind.

As you continued crying, you sat on his lap and hugged him, crying and sobbing into his shoulder.

“Do you want a new family?”

“What…?” You asked while pulling back.

“A new family. One that loves and supports you.” Chan said while rubbing your cheek. “You know, my parents have always liked you… and my siblings… and extended…”

You teared up. The idea of a family… a non toxic and loving family just taking you in as their own… it was a lot.

“A family that… loves each other… and supports each other….?” You said, more thinking out loud. “N-no bad touching… n-no yelling at me…?”

“No family is perfect but they do love you and will never hurt you like…”

“… like mine…”

He sighed and you instantly hugged him again.

“Yes… yes!” You cried while holding on tight.

“I’ll make that happen, babygirl. Don’t you worry…”

He pulled you back and kissed your forehead before letting you silently cry into his shoulder. He held you as well. The feeling was so warm and secure. You always felt safe with him. You felt so loved when with him. You always wondered if you even deserved that love.

How was this going to work? Well Chan had been planning to propose to you for a while. He’s already been looking at rings. But now he thinks he should speed it up a little. Sooner the better. He wants you to be happy. He knows his family will take you in. They will welcome you with open arms. And he’ll take care of you for the rest of his life…

——————————— 🥀 ———————————

This is the dream I had where I woke up crying. And my mom did say that to me. Just not thru text. My depression been pretty bad lately…