#my mother said thats what idols are

[xxkissesforchanniexx]

𝐁𝐫𝐨 𝐂𝐨𝐝𝐞

Pairing: Chan x Lee Know little sister!fem!reader (non-idol au) Genre: Fluff + Smut angst kinda >.>(im bad at writing it forgive me...) Word Count: 8.6k (HOLY SHIT THATS THE LONGEST ONE YET) Warnings: mutual pining, mentions of cheating, protective Minho, underage drinking if you pay close attention, fighting >.> <.< DONT DO IT, unprotected sex pullout method >.>, cringe ending as usual. i think thats everything?

A/N: I genuinely started tweaking writing this uh requests are open until like august. this request is old... so... im sorry i only just got to it ;-; I'm also so sorry if the story is >.>... cringe T_T my brain has been like fried eggs lately.

The first time Chan agreed to go to Minho's house, he was in his sophomore year of high school, when Minho had mentioned he had a sister, Chan hadn't thought much of it.

Until Chan saw you; the pretty, sweet (to him at least), smart 8th grader that was Minho's little sister.

You had poked your head into Minho's room, "Bro have you seen my hair rollers?"

Chan looked up at you from his book.

Minho looked at you and made a face. "I don't know where you put that stuff."

"Minho!" You threw the door open and frowned at him. "You borrowed them!"

"WHY WOULD I BORROW THOSE???"

"I DON'T FUCK-" You paused, eyes flicking to Chan.

Minho smiled evilly. "I'm telling mom!"

"MIN!" You shouted, "OH!" You stomped your foot for a moment before huffing. You took long strides to Minho's bedside table and grabbed his wallet.

"Where are you going!?" He shouted as you went back to the door.

"Buy more hair rollers." You said, slamming the door behind you.

Chan looked at his book and cleared his throat trying to disguise his laugh. You were cute, just a little bit.

Minho looked at his friend before his eyes narrowed. "Hey."

Chan looked at him, "Huh?"

"Chan... You're my guy. My best friend." Minho got up from his bed and smiled genuinely at him, "For the sake of our friendship, don't..."

Chan raised a brow. "Don't what?"

Minho made a face. "Chan."

Chan laughed. "Minho. I couldn't. Be for real. She's your sister. I'll be with her and be constantly reminded of you." He shuddered.

"Haha." Minho punched him. "Promise?"

"How old are we?" Chan raised a brow.

Minho looked serious.

Chan sighed. "I promise."

Yet... he couldn't keep that promise. Not while you were so busy being you.

You pulled into your parents' driveway. You had just finished your sophmore year of college, you checked your phone and messaged Minho saying you were home and to open the door.

You waited for a few minutes, scrolling on instagram before checking to see if Minho had read your message. It was still on delivered..

You sighed and called his phone. It rang and rang, but he didn't answer. "MINHO!" You made a face and finally decided to check your brother's location.

He was an hour away. At the mall.

You were about to call him again when he called you first.

"Oh, you're home already?" he asked, munching on something.

"Yes." You exhaled. "Why aren't you here to let me in?!"

"HEY HEY HEY!" He said, "Someone is there."

"Who?" You fianlly got out of your car and grabbed your bag from the trunk, dragging it to the front door.

"Chan."

You made a face and rang the doorbell. "Yada yada."

"Hey, respect me. I'm older than you!" Minho huffed.

"Ah hush." You rang the bell again. "Is that weirdo friend of yours even here-"

The door opened and you looked at the man standing there, his hair was unruly and he looked like he just woke up. You looked him up and down for a moment- he looked different, older, more muscular, the tank top wasn't helping much, you could see the outline of his pecs. "Chan?"

"AH I told you he'd open the door-" Minho started but you hung up the phone.

The muscular man crossed his arms. "Do I know you?"

"Uh- I live here?" Your brows furrowed.

"The only women I know live here is Minho's mother and a silly 11th grader I haven't seen in years." Chan sighed, "Minho doesn't take squatters. He already has 3."

"Bang Christopher Chan." Your eyes narrowed. "Did you just call my babies SQUATTERS????"

Chan's mouth fell open. "Y/n-"

"I'm telling Minho!" You pushed into the house and Chan trailed behind you.

"Let me carry that bag for you-"

"No, no, no!" You swatted his hand away. "You think my babies are squatters." You huffed and ran to your elder brother's cat, Soonie, that happened to be looking around the corner.

Chan rolled his eyes and you picked it up and started baby talking to it. "It's a cat-"

"You speak fluent baby to Berry. Don't judge me." You walked with the cat up the stairs to your room.

Chan sighed deeply.

"Chan, bring my bag upstairs thanks." You smiled sweetly and skipped back up the stairs with the cat.

Chan tongued the inside of his mouth a bit annoyed, you hadn't changed one bit. You just looked more mature. More like a woman, the curve of your waist more defined to your hips, you seemed prettier, your- … What are you thinking...

Chan pursed his lips and grabbed your bag, taking it up stairs.

He watched as you entered your room.

"Did Minho touch any of my stuff?" You asked looking around.

"Not that I know of." Chan hummed setting the bag on the bed.

You turned and gasped. "MY GUDETAMA PLUSH IS GONE!"

Chan tilted his head. "Your what?"

You fumed. "MY EGG PLUSHIE!"

Chan's face fell. "The one that was over there-" He pointed to your desk.

Your eyes narrowed. "Bang Christopher Chan. Where is my egg-"

"HERE!" Minho shouted, sliding into your room, holding up a Gudetama plushie.

You looked at your older brother. "Minho. It's not even the same plushie."

Minho opened his mouth then closed it.

"MIN!"

"AHHH JISUNG DROPPED IT IN PAINT!"

"WHAT WERE YOU EVEN DOING IN MY ROOM??!?!"

"It was Changbin's idea!"

"OHH!! LEE MINHO! GET OUT!" You fumed.

Chan and Minho scurried away before Minho burst out laughing as he got to the bottom of the steps. Chan rolled his eyes and laughed.

"I'll give her the money to replace it later." Minho sighed, "Tryna get some drinks? Jisung is paying."

Chan nodded, grabbing his phone from the table and staring at your cat Dori. The brown, grey striped cat tilted its head at Chan and the man pet it gently. "Tell Y/N I'm sorry yeah?"

The cat purred and Chan smiled before following Minho out.

Chan finished off his alcohol and turned to Hyunjin, "Hyunjinnie."

The long, dark haired man looked at him, "Huh?"

"That egg thing Jisung covered in paint."

"What about it?" Hyunjin asked, pushing his hair out of his eyes.

"What was it called?"

Jisung looked up from his food. "Gudetama?"

"Yeah that." Chan hummed. "Where do I get one that looks like it? Exact replica.."

Hyunjin shrugged. "Google it."

Chan huffed, and started searching.

Minho looked at him, "Why are you wondering?"

Chan pursed his lips. "We did mess it up."

Minho grabbed Chan's phone. "Chan." His face was expression was blank.

"Minho, I'm just trying to replace it." Chan grabbed his phone back and sighed.

Hyunjin gave Minho a look and kept eating.

Minho didn't say anything to Chan until everyone was going home only saying "see ya."

It was over a week later you came home with your friend Sua to hang out and when you opened your bedroom door you smiled at the sight of the a new Gudetama plushie. The CORRECT one.

"Where did that come from?" Sua asked as she sat on your bed, grabbing your Cinnamoroll and hugging it.

"Minho probably got it." You grabbed the egg and admired it except as you brought it to your face and inhaled, past the scent of the store... you smelled the cologne it smelled like... You pulled Gudetama away from your face and stared at it for a long moment.

"What?" Sua asked.

"Nothing..." You murmured.

Sua took the Gudetama from you and inspected it. "It's definitely new.. it smells like the store but..." She smelled it again. "Who's cologne is that?"

You rolled your eyes and grabbed it back, hugging it. "Doesn't matter.." But as you thought about the way he'd looked at you when he opened the door, the way his muscles seemed to strain against his shirt as he crossed his arms... You shook your head. So what if he had grown up a little bit. So had Minho's other friends, it didn't matter.

Yet recognizing the faint scent that lingered on the plushie, the faint scent you'd picked up from him as you pushed past him, you hugged the plushie just a little bit tighter.

Chan spun in the spinning chair in the library. He looked up at the ceiling, brain racing with so many thoughts. Had you seen it? Had you liked it?

"Chan." Hyunjin flicked his forehead. "Did I write my part good?"

"Uh huh." Chan said dismissively.

"You seem lost in thought..." Jeongin said, rolling over in his chair. "Something on your mind?"

Someone.. "No, nothing." Chan shrugged.

Jeongin's eyes narrowed, "I think..."

Chan looked at him. "Wha-"

Jeongin grabbed Chan's laptop and ran off with it, "THE SECRETS ARE HERE!" He shouted, "PROTECT ME HYUNG!"

Hyunjin tried his best to hold Chan in his chair but the latter easily sprang away and sprinted after Jeongin.

"INNIE RUN AWAY!" Hyunjin squealed.

As Chan was about to pounce on the younger man, the library assistant, a young woman with dark hair and brown eyes with a small mole on her cheek, cleared her throat. As Chan got a better look he realized the woman was your friend, Sua.

"Please be quiet." She rolled her eyes before walking into the small room and pushing the chairs back into place, she sniffed slightly, as if sick and Hyunjin offered her a tissue which she gratefully accepted before leaving the room.

Chan grabbed his computer from Jeongin and sat back in his spinning chair. "There is no secret."

The younger men looked at each other, "Sure," Hyunjin said, "Totally," Jeongin huffed.

As Sua walked away she smiled to herself and looked back. So that's who got Gudetama...

You were out with Sua at the mall, "Y/N." She smiled, "This would look so good on you." She pushed a very short skirt into your hands.

"Are we going to a strip club??" You stared at your friend in shock. "Min will kill me if I wear this."

She nudged you, "You can't stay so single and innocent forever." Sua's eyebrows bounced comically. "But then again.." She pulled the skirt to herself. "Do you think Seungmin would like me in this?"

You rolled your eyes. "If Seungmin noticed you."

She shoved you. "MEANIE!"

You giggled and kept looking for clothes.

"Ok..." She sighed.

You turned to the jewelry area and left Sua looking at bottoms alone. As you looked at the earrings and necklaces and bracelets, a pair of earrings caught your attention, it was simple, small silver half hoop earrings. You moved down the glass to get a better look and as you rested your hand on the glass display, a hand brushed yours. You looked at the hand for a brief moment before seeing the veiny arm, your stomach flipped.

You looked at the man, he looked at you, brow raised.

"Sorry." You pulled away.

"It was my fault." The man laughed. "I was just looking at those earrings." he pointed to the earrings you had your eyes on.

"Oh-" You smiled slightly, "I was looking at those too."

His eyes widened slightly, "You probably saw them first-"

"No it's fine." You were about to move away.

"It's fine really." the man waved over the store clerk. "How much for these?"

Your brows furrowed. "I-"

"550,000 sir." The clerk said.

The man slid his card across the table and smiled at you. "It's the least I can do, I think I made you uncomfortable."

You opened your mouth then closed it. What was this guy doing..

"I'm Minseok." He put his hand out to shake yours.

You smiled sheepishly. "Y/N, and really you don't have to get me these-"

The store clerk came back with a key and opened the glass display, closing the earrings box and putting it in a bag. The clerk handed the bag to Minseok with his receipt and card.

"I insist."Minseok handed you the bag.

"Y/N, did you find someth-" Sua came over, carrying a lot of bags and looked at you then Minseok and back at you, a devious grin spread across her lips and you wanted to hide.

Minseok wrote something on the back of his receipt before handing it to you. "Call me?" He smiled and walked out of the store.

"WHO WAS THAT FINE GLASS OF WINE????" Sua grabbed you, "What did he give you?" She grabbed the bag and smiled at the earrings, "Oh my, a man of taste! What's his name-"

"SUA!" you grabbed your friend's face. "Stop rambling. He bumped into me."

"And bought you earrings for 550,000 won as an apology?"

You sucked in a breath.

"He was definitely into you." She smiled dreamily. "If only I could find Seungmin in such a way."

You rolled your eyes. "Let's go."

But you had ended up shooting Minseok a text... why not?

Chan came over with the guys to celebrate Minho getting a promotion. "Ah, look at the best dance instructor this city has ever seen." Chan hugged him tightly as he entered the house.

Minho rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah."

"Congrats man." Jisung patted Minho on the back, "Now with the money you're making you can finally pay when we go out to eat."

Minho made a face.

"Stop annoying him," Jeongin smiled. "But really congrats."

Minho smiled, "Come on in guys," He led the men in and to the dining room, "Tada!"

The men smiled at the sight of the barbecue and they all began eating. Chan teased Minho most of the evening until, he heard steps on the stairs. He turned to look at the stairs and his heart skipped a beat.

You were coming down the steps with Sua, dressed up to go out, skirt that showed your perfect legs and a shirt that drew attention to your curves and cleavage.

You came to your older brother and gave him a quick hug, "Congrats Minho."

As you started to pull away he grabbed your hand. "Jacket?" He asked.

You held up your jacket.

"Phone?"

You held up your phone the yellow Gudetama case that Sua had bought you drew Chan's attention momentarily.

"Pepper spray?" Minho tilted his head.

You shook your purse a bit.

He smiled, "Have fun. Don't let a creep touch you."

"Yeah yeah." You followed Sua out.

"Where's she going?" Changbin asked, munching on his beef.

"Party." Minho shrugged.

"Bound to get attention dressed like that," Hyunjin sipped his soda, "Who's party?"

"Some guy from college apparently." Minho shrugged. "Sua's with her so she should be fine."

Chan's eyes narrowed, "Minho, you're letting her go to 'some guy's' party?"

Minho looked at him. "She'll call if something happens, besides she knows not to drink."

Chan sighed, "Alright."

The other men looked at them, but no one said anything.

After the little celebration Chan was driving home, it was almost 1 in the morning, he came to a red light in front of a bar and tapped his thumb on the wheel to the rhythm of the music. He glanced out at the bar and his brows furrowed. There was a girl who looked suspiciously like you, stumbling out.

Chan was about to ignore it when a man came out of the bar after the girl. He sighed, the cars at the cross section slowing down and just as he was about to drive he watched as the girl reached into her bag for something and pulled out a yellow case with lazy egg.

Chan pulled off to the side and got out of his car as the man grabbed your shoulder. You shoved him off in your drunk daze but he was persisting.

And right as he grabbed your wrist Chan grabbed his forearm. "Can't you see she doesn't like you?" Chan's eyes narrowed, "Get out of here before I beat the shit out of you."

The man stared at Chan for a moment. Chan gripped the man's arm tighter.

"Bitch." The man released you roughly and stormed off down the street.

"Chan-" You looked at him, about to speak.

"Get in the car." He said lowly.

You opened your mouth, then closed it as he tilted his had at you daring you to say something back. You walked to the car and he opened the door to let you, closing it a you entered before going to the driver's side and entering.

"Please don't tell Min." You said as he settled.

"Where's Sua?" Chan turned to you.

"She ran off with some guy.." You said quietly.

"Why didn't you leave then?"

"Who are you my dad?"

"Y/N."

You looked at your hands. "I didn't want to."

Chan hook hi head and tarted the car again, before pulling back onto the road, he was about to go back to your house as he scolded you when you suddenly covered your mouth.

Chan sucked in a breath. "Y/N no- Not in my car-" Chan pulled over by a tree and you jumped out of the car and ran to the tree.

He cringed as you vomited and stepped out of the car, carefully taking your hair into his hand and holding it out of the way until you were jut dry heaving.

"You good now?" He asked.

You nodded.

Chan got you back in the car and gave you water.

"Chan..." You said after taking a drink. "Don't tell Minho. Please."

"Ok, ok, I won't." He sighed.

"Don't wanna go home."

"You have to."

"CHANNIE!" You whined.

Chan turned so fast, his head could've spun off his shoulders. He blinked before turning back to the road. Chris. WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?

"If I go home, Minho will know I'm drunk and he'll tell our parents and I won't be allowed out again." You grabbed his arm. "Chan.."

Chan sucked in a breath. "Just this once."

You smiled and hugged his arm. Chan felt his face getting hot but kept driving back to his place.

Chan had really trusted you when you said you were fine, you vomited again, outside his apartment complex and this time it had gotten on your shirt. So when you had gotten into his apartment he forced you to the bathroom and gave you some of his clothes to wear.

You were lying on Chan's couch, half asleep while he got you food because you wouldn't stop asking.

Your phone rang.

Chan was about to grab it but he froze. What would Minho think...

You grabbed your phone and answered. "Hello... No... I'm at Sua's... Chan? No I haven't heard from him... No I didn't drink... No I didn't bring a guy with me to Sua's... Okay... Tell my babies I love them... Good night Min." You hung up the phone and looked at Chan. "All handled."

Chan turned to face you and his stomach did somersaults. You standing there in his shirt, his sweatpants, looking so...

You tilted your head. "Are you drunk too, Channie?" You hummed.

Chan shook his head. "Haha. Here eat."

You smiled and took the food, going back to the couch, munching. Chan closed himself in the bathroom and stared at himself in the mirror. He rubbed his hands over his face for a moment before tuning on the tap and splashing his face. "Christopher... It's Y/N." he told himself. "It's just Y/N.."

A knock on the bathroom door made Chan look up. He patted his face dry with the towel on the bar and opened the door.

You stood there, looking at him. "Are you okay?" You asked.

He nodded, "I'm just really tired."

"I'm sorry for bothering you." You muttered, "Thank you.."

Chan felt his heart flutter and he smiled gently. "It's okay. Sleep in my room 'kay? I'll take the couch."

"I can't.." You mumble.

Chan made a face, "Why?"

"I don't have Gudetama.."

Chan opened his mouth then closed it.

"It keeps me safe at night." You looked down and gripped the hem of your his shirt tightly in your hands.

What was Chan supposed to say... What could he say without sounding weird or mean..

"Stay with me?"

Chan broke out of his trance as he heard that. "What?"

"Stay with me.. Because I'm scared.. I won't tell Minho."

What could he have said....

"Alright."

You woke up, head pounding, in the softest bed you've ever been in, as you opened your eyes you winced as the sun entering through soft grey curtains assaulted your already pained brain. You felt a breath against your hair and were about to jump away when the scent hit you... You looked around momentarily, it must be really early.

It wouldn't hurt.. You relaxed against his chest and hugged the arm he had around your waist. He was warm. Infectiously so. You felt warm in more ways than one. You smiled contentedly and closed your eyes again. Minho didn't have to know.

When you woke up again you heard voices, you sat up and slowly got out of Chan's bed. Your head throbbed slightly but you ignored it out of curiosity, you poked your head out the door and listened.

"I'm screwed, Hyunjin..." Chan said softly.

"If you tell Minho I'm sure he won't be that mad." Hyunjin replied.

Mad why? Because Chan helped me?

"Hyunjin." Chan said, more firmly. "I promised."

"Chan, it's completely human to feel like tha-"

"Hyunjin-ah!" Chan said a bit loudly before quieting himself. "It's not that I feel like that, even when I'm not feeling like THAT, I feel like..." Chan sighed deeply.

You backed up into the room. Feel like what... You wondered before grabbing your phone and texting Sua to come pick you up with a change of clothes.

When you got in Sua's car you looked at her.

"Do I have a lot to tell you?" She said giddily.

"I don't want to hear about what you did last night-" You started.

"Not me you dummy! The guy you met at the mall."

You turned to face her completely. "What about him?"

"He followed me on instagram this morning, I think he was seriously into you. He wants you to call him so he can take you out." She raised her brows stupidly.

"I-" you closed your mouth and thought about it for a moment, what harm could there be in going on one date? "I'll give him a call later."

"Atta girl!" Sua squealed before turning on her car and pulling out of Chan's apartment complex, "But guess what?"

"What?" You raised a brow.

"I SAID GUESS!" She wined.

"Ok, ok..." You racked your brain for a moment. "You bought new shoes?"

As Sua came to an intersection she slowed to halt at the red light and smacked your arm. "No."

"OW!" You huffed. "Tell me."

"I got Seungmin's number!"

You blinked. "How?"

She smiled, "Well, as I was going home with that guy yesterday Seungmin happened to be around and saved me-"

"Didn't you ask that guy to go home with you thou-"

"HUSH I'm not done!" She huffed, turning back to the road as the light turned green. "And Seungmin saved me and told me not to go home with strangers and if I get drunk again with no ride, I should call him." She sighed dreamily before her expression snapped to one of confusion. "How did you end up in Chan's apartment?" Her eyes widened, "DID YOU GUYS-"

"NO!" You shrieked. "No, he kept his distance."

"And you slept alone? YOU?!"

You pursed your lips. "When I woke up he was in bed too bu-"

"BUTT NAKED?!"

"SUA! NO! WE WERE CLOTHED!" You felt your face getting hot.

"You were drunk, in a man's house and you didn't do anything?? Not even kiss?"

"No." You slapped your cheeks. "We didn't do anything."

"But.. did you want to?" She glanced at you before looking back at the road.

"No." You rolled your eyes. Then you remembered. How he'd looked at you in his apartment, like he wanted to pounce on you. "Bu-"

"Did he want to do something?" Sua drove into a café's parking lot.

"I..." Your face felt hotter as you remembered how Chan held you. "I don't know..."

That was all Sua needed to ramble about how Chan must be pining over you. And it was for that reason you didn't mention what you'd heard Chan telling Hyunjin that morning.

You'd called Minseok that evening, he insisted that you stay home and get past your hangover and that he could meet you another day. Though it wasn't intentional, you and Minseok spoke almost on the daily, before he asked you if you wanted to go out for lunch. You were about ready to go out when someone knocked on your bedroom door. You opened it and blinked at the sight of Chan.

He was looking at his phone for something. "Minho wanted to know when you'd be back so we could get dri-" He froze as he looked up at you.

"Chan?" You tilted your head slightly.

"Uh.. You look really pretty." He said.

You looked down and smiled slightly.

"Who are you even going to meet up with?"

You opened your mouth then closed it, no one knew about Minseok except Sua and Minho. "A guy."

Chan visibly stiffened. "Who?"

"I'll tell you about him later-" You tried to move past him but he blocked the doorway with his body.

"Where did you get those?" He pointed at your earrings.

My date.. "Sua." You lied.

He nodded. "Okay.."

You moved past him and managed to dodge your brother's inventory check as you skipped to the door. Right as the bell rang.

You opened it and smiled at Minseok. He smiled gently before his gaze flicked behind you.

You looked back at Chan and smiled.

Chan wanted to kill that guy. He didn't like him one bit, not the way he smiled or the way he took your hand to lead you out. Nothing. But more than that, Minseok always always looked at Chan as if he'd won something, as if Chan had lost the battle and the war he didn't even know had started. Two into your relationship and Minseok still had that look for Chan. Two months.

Minho had invited Minseok along with the guys for drinks. The entire night Minseok was giving Chan sideways looks. Until Minho asked, "How did you meet Y/N?"

"Oh," Minseok smiled fondly at his drink. "I bumped into her at the mall and I made her a bit uncomfortable with how awkward of an apology I gave so.. I bought her a pair of earrings and gave her my number. I didn't expect her to call back really... But fate is nice.."

Chan's brows furrowed. "What kind of earrings?"

"Silver ones-" Minseok started.

"Half hoops?" Chan pressed, gripping his bottle.

"Yeah." Minseok said, "Small, silver, half hoops."

Chan leaned back in his chair. You'd lied... You'd lied to him. For Minseok..

"Channie-hyung-" Jeongin reached for him.

Chan pushed back his chair and smiled at Minho, "I'm going to head back early," He waved at the other men and rested his gaze on Minseok for a brief moment.

"You're drunk, let me at least call you a cab-" Minho started.

"I want to walk."

"It's dar-"

"Goodnight guys." Chan turned and left them all at the table in confusion.

Hyunjin shot Seungmin a knowing look and kept drinking.

Chan wandered aimlessly for a while, lost in thought. He eventually found himself at a playground and sat down on a swing. As he swung back and forth, he thought about you and Minseok. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair at all..

He felt his eyes welling with tears. "What are you even crying about Chris?!" He groaned in frustration and wiped the tears from his eyes.

He cared too much, about you and Minho. He cared too much to see you with someone else. He cared so much that it hurt to care. Even as he took deep breaths to compose himself he couldn't stop the hot salty tears streaming down his cheeks.. But-

"Channie?"

He looked up at the sound of your voice. You stood there, in a sweater that definitely wasn't yours... It was probably Minseok's... and a pair of sweatpants.

"Why are you crying?" You sat in the swing next to him and stared at him.

If only you knew...

"I've just been thinking recently." He muttered.

"A penny for your thoughts?"

Chan stared at you for a long moment and then simply leaned over and rested his head in the crook of your neck and shoulder.

You stared blankly for a moment before relaxing and stroking his dark hair gently.

"Can I ask you something.." He muttered against your skin and you felt a chill go down your spine.

"Anything..." You breathed.

He pulled away and looked into your eyes. "Will you stop me?"

"From doing what?" You stared at him in confusion for a moment before he leaned into you, breath mingling with yours.

"This.." He muttered, plump lips grazing yours before they finally met your own in a gentle kiss. He pulled away for a moment, giving you the opportunity to shout at him, to slap him and ask if he was okay mentally.

But you didn't..

And he kissed you again, deeper this time, his tongue prodding at your lips for entry. You clutched Chan's shirt as his tongue slid into your mouth, the taste of alcohol still on his lips, but you didn't pull away. Not when he kissed you like that, kissed you like he'd been meaning to for months... years even. You didn't pull away even as you felt the burn of your lungs begging for air. But he pulled awa, his eyes dark, pupils blown, clouding over with something you hadn't seen before.

You sat up in bed and slapped your flushed cheeks. What on earth were you thinking...

Chan noticed you were steering clear of him like the plague. You were going back to school soon so maybe that's why. He saw you when he and Jeongin came over to see Minho but even then you only waved at him at the door and kept about your business. Maybe he had done wrong kissing you like that.

You were leaving again. Bags all packed and ready to go back to your dorm.

"AH!" Changbin hugged ypu tightly. "You're leaving us again! Who will come to Changbin Salon if you go!"

You giggled. "I'll be back in a few months for Christmas guys. Don't worry about me-"

"Y/nnie." Minho sighed, smoothing out her clothes, "Just take care of yourself. Don't get drunk. Don't stay up late. Don't talk to weirdos-"

You hugged your brother and rolled your eyes. "Whatever."

Your parents started bickering with you about taking care of yourself.

You gave Minseok a kiss and he hugged you tightly, whispering something in your ear that made you giggle.

You finally looked at Chan and smiled.

Chan smiled too, eyes widening in shock slightly as you hugged him tightly. He relaxed and hugged you back. "Take care."

You nodded, "Bye!" You got into your car right as Changbin and Minho finished throwing your stuff into the trunk.

They all waved as you pulled out of the driveway, and you were gone again...

Chan stuck around for a bit longer chatting with Minho and your parents before deciding to go home. As Chan made his way to his car he stopped as he heard someone.

"Chan."

Chan turned and stared at Minseok. "Huh?"

"Do yourself a favor," Minseok pulled out his own car keys and unlocked his vehicle. "And stay away from Y/N. 'Kay?"

Chan raised a brow. "Is there a problem with me being around her?"

"A little bird told me, you just want to get your dick wet. So I suggest you find someone else." Minseok shrugged.

He stared at the other man for a long moment. "What if... I just want to take her from you?"

Minseok's eyes went wide.

Chan unlocked his car and got in before Minseok could say anything.

You'd been in school for a couple of months, sure, you called Minseok everyday, it didn't kill the feeling of him being so far away though.

You had gotten back from class and were doing your homework when you got a text from Minseok. You smiled slightly and picked up your phone to look at it. As you read his message you rolled your eyes and called him

He answered almost immediately. "AH! Baby. It feels like I haven't talked to you in forever."

You rolled your eyes and giggled. "We talked this morning."

"Exactly, forever." He joked.

You put the phone on speaker and set it down as you started getting your materials for studying. "When did you get so needy?"

"When did you get so distant?" he countered.

You laughed. "I'll be around soon."

"Take your time with your studies.. I don't want to mess up your brain right now."

You smiled. "It's fine really."

"I'm gonna be really busy soon."

"Oh?" You flipped through your textbook, taking notes. "With what?"

"Work stuff." he said dismissively.

"Don't overwork yourself."

"Says you."

You pursed your lips and sighed. "Minseok."

"AAH! Okay.. I have to go now, sleep early. Make sure you eat. AND DRINK WATER." He said.

"Okay. Good night baby."

"Good night y/nnie."

You hung up and leaned back in your chair thoughtfully. You should visit home soon..

The next following day you called Minseok after class he didn't answer. You shrugged it off and assumed he was busy with work as he said he would be.

You called Jisung and he ranted to you about how Minho was being annoying and how Seungmin was bouncing off the walls about Sua.

You smiled as you thought about how vividly she used to squeal about Seungmin. As you were about to go to sleep, your phone rang and you looked at the contact, smiling at your boyfriends ID before answering.

"Hey love, sorry I didn't answer. I got held up at work." he said.

"It's fine," You rolled onto your back and put the phone on speaker, yawning as you asked, "Anything happen at home?"

"You sound tired." he aid, "And no."

You hummed. "I am tired."

"Sleep. You have classes tomorrow."

"Fuck class. I'd rather stay up listening to you."

"When did you get so needy?" He teased.

You giggled.

As you listened to Minseok rant about work and other things you relaxed and fell asleep even though you said you wouldn't..

You didn't notice it at first, but almost a month later, you realized that Minseok never answered your calls; he always called you back, and always very late. You could try to blame it on his work, but something just didn't sit right with you. But you ignored the feeling. Planning to visit during your break in the fall and catch up with everyone.

What reason did you not have to trust Minseok?

When you called him the day before your trip he didn't answer. Which didn't surprise you at all. But you still felt a small pang as you looked at the box you'd purchased just a week earlier. What was surprising was that he didn't call you back.

Still you got in your car the next morning, and drove all the way back home.

Minho and your parents greeted you with bear hugs and kisses.

You went out with Minho later that day to go eat and after an intense game of rock paper scissors, you had to go to the front and order. As you made your order and Minho's you noticed Chan sitting at a table with a very pretty woman. You finished your orders and approached waving slightly at Chan.

He looked at you and smiled. "You're back in town already? How's school?"

You laughed. "I'm on break. School's fine." You noticed the way the girl stirred her drink with her straw. "Who's this?" You asked.

Chan looked at her then back at you. "Yeojin. She's a friend."

The girl gave you a small smile but you felt a bit tense. As if you were challenging her... "It's nice to meet you." She extended her hand out out you."

"Likewise." You smiled and took her hand gently shaking it before turning back to Chan, "I've gotta go, maybe we'll see each other around?"

He nodded. "It was nice seeing you." As you walked away you noticed how he spoke to Yeojin so passionately, taking her hands in his. Your heart panged. You should be happy... You should be happy he finally got over what he told Hyunjin that day... Yet it annoyed you. It made you so mad you wanted to scream. But you didn't. You ignored the feeling. You had Minseok. What more could you need?

"Have you heard from Minseok?" You asked your brother as he spun in the spinning chair by your desk.

"Not recently why?" He looked at you.

You shrugged, looking at your phone. You checked Minho's location and saw he was still at work. You'd wait for him to get to his apartment then you'd surprise him with your gift and everything would be good. "He's been stressing about work recently... I just wanted to make sure he's alright."

"Go see him then." Minho said, rolling his eyes.

"When he gets back from work." You smiled, looking at the box in your bag.

So almost two hours later, when you checked your phone and saw he was finally home. You took a cab to his apartment and eagerly, pushed the button at the elevator. You jumped a bit before calming yourself. It was just Minseok... your sweet, caring, affectionate, handsome man.

Yet as you got to his floor, as you approached his door something in you twisted. You felt wary for a reason you couldn't explain. Even as you typed the passcode for his lock and it beeped in affirmation, as you opened the door to his dark apartment, something in you still lurched in suspense. Like your body knew what was coming and your heart and mind couldn't accept it. Even as you rounded the corner of the hall and saw an extra pair of shoes by the entrance.

Heels..

You still walked through the living room and kitchen area. Right down to the other hall and to Minseok's bedroom door. Even as you heard them through the crack in the door you opened it.. and the tears that had been welling in your eyes since you walked into the dark apartment finally fell at the sight of Minseok, his dick buried in some other girl.

"Cho Minseok."

He sprang up, eyes wide like a deer in headlights as he finally took in your prescene.

You threw the box on the floor and whispered. "You asshole."

"Y/n!" You ran to the elevator and got in just in time to turn and see him running as the elevator closed, bedsheet wrapped around his waist as he called after you.

As the elevator went down your mind and heart finally caught up with the rest of your body and you fell to the cold floor and cried.

The last place Chan expected to see you, was bumbling down the street at night. Drunk.

Yet when he finally convinced you to get in his car he groaned and looked at you. "What on earth are you doing?"

You didn't answer, staring blankly out of the car window.

"I'll call Minseok to come get you-"

"Don't." You said quietly.

"Y/n." He sighed. "Minseok won't judge you for getting drunk, he probably won't tell Minho eithe-"

"Minseok is busy right now!" You snapped.

Chan stared at you. "Busy with what?"

"How is it your business?" You snapped. "You hate Minseok, I get it. but our relationship isn't your business."

"When are you going to stop him from running all over you, Y/N!?" Chan shouted.

You froze."Why do you care... go back to Yeojin."

Chan stared at you. "i have nothing with her..."

You took a few shaky breaths before you buried your face in your hands.

Chan took your hand and squeezed it gently whispering. "What happened?"

You looked at him, his coffee colored eyes so sincere. No judgement or ulterior motives, nothing but patience and empathy.

You leaned against him over the console. "He's with someone else."

"Since when?" He asked, his arm wrapping around your shoulders.

"I don't fucking know and I don't give a damn."

He hummed. "You wanna go home?"

"I don't want an earful from Minho." You said, closing your eyes.

Chan pulled away and started the car. The alcohol finally claimed your consciousness. You woke up a while later on Chan's bed, you sat up, still a bit tipsy. You stood from the bed and stumbled slightly as you walked. You saw Chan on the couch, staring at the ceiling.

"You left me alone again..." you said softly.

Chan looked at you. "I thought you'd be alright."

You stared at him.

"Come here.." he muttered.

You moved to him and sat beside him on the couch, leaning into hiss body heat.

You sat in silence for a few minutes, then your mouth ran faster than your brain could help and you asked. "Do you like me..."

Chan's body stiffened.

"Be honest.."

"Y/n."

"Tell me."

"Minho would be angry at me-"

"CHAN!" You snapped, pulling away from him. "No... I understand. No one really likes me because I'm jus-"

He cut you off, kissing you. Your eyes widened momentarily before you relaxed and kissed him back. Your already cloudy mind felt like it was covered by a drape of emotion you couldn't understand, taking all your air away, wrapping itself around you like an anaconda. It squeezed the very passion from your veins and pushed it all into that kiss.

Chan pulled away for air first and your eyes met as he finally whispered. "I don't like you. I love you."

You kissed him again as he leaned into you, pinning you to the couch. His lips moved from yours to your jaw and neck before he froze. Minho... He started to pull away. "Y/n we can't-"

You grabbed his face in your hands and whispered, tears brimming in your eyes, "Please..."

Chan couldn't tell in the rush of getting you from the couch into his room how he ended up beneath you. Staring up into your pretty eyes before you leaned down to kiss him, his tongue fought with yours as your hands lifted his shirt and ran over his chiseled abdomen. When you moaned softly into his mouth something in his snapped and he grabbed you. Flipping you both and pinning you to the bed, staring down at you.

You smiled up at him and he rolled his eyes before kissing you agan, his lips moving to attack your neck and collar bones before he pulled off your shirt. You whined and tugged at his before he pulled it over his head and tossed his somewhere. You reached up and caressed his stomach before he took your hand in his and your fingers intertwined as he pinned it to the bed.

"We shouldn't..." He mumbled against your lips.

"Want you to.." You whispered.

"Fuck.." he moaned softly against your lips and rubbed his crotch against your clothed heat.

You pulled your hands free and wrapped them around him, pulling him down to you. Your world seemed to blur and darken, your only focus the man above you. How he worshipped you, lips moving from your jaw to your throat, decorating your skin with love bites. Moving lower and pulling your pants down slowly.

It wasn't painful or rushed. He kissed you slowly, filling you to the brim and more, each thrust met with soft cry from you. His hands at your hip pulling you into each push of his pelvis against yours. He leaned down and kissed you, his body caging you in, you held onto him tightly, nails digging into his broad shoulders as he bucked into you again and again. Knocking the air from your lungs every time he fucked into you, pushing deep, deep.

Mesmerized by the sight of of your pussy engulfing his cock as you whimpered and mewled beneath him.

"Are you going to cum for me?" He mumbled in your ear. "Gonna milk me dry, sweet girl?"

Your back arched off the bed at that, Chan groaned and reached between you rubbing your sensitive clit.

"Cum for me princess." He breathed into your neck, pulling out slowly before stuffing his cock into you roughly again.

"Channie!" Your pussy clenched tightly around hiss manhood and he pulled out. Pumping his cock until his release shot onto your breasts and stomach.

He held himself over you. "Fuck..." He dragged himself up to get something to clean you but when he came his eyes went wide at the sight of your hands on your face the soft sound of your sobs reaching his earss. "Y/N- I shouldn't have. Did I hurt you? I'm sorry-"

"Not you." You said, taking a deep shaky breath.

"Then-"

You took your hands away from your face and smiled. "I love you Chan.."

He smiled gently and kissed your forehead before cleaning you and getting back into bed.

"Can I ask you a question?" You said in the quiet darkness.

"Huh?" He turned to you.

"Did you replace Gudetama?"

Chan smiled. "Was it so obvious?"

"It smelled like your cologne.."

"You paid attention to how I smelled?" he gasped in shock.

"Shut up." You smacked his chest and rolled your eyes despite your face going hot.

He smirked and kissed the top of your head. "I don't mind."

You rolled your eyes but moved closer, relaxing into his warm embrace before falling asleep.

Chan hugged you to his chest, staring up at the ceiling as he caressed your hair. He heard something buzz and looked at your phone on his bedside table. He took in your peacefully sleeping face and smiled about to ignore it. Then it rang.

He moved away from you slowly and reached over you grabbing the jingling device. Minseok's face flashed across your screen. Chan made a face and answered, pulling the covers over your bare body before bringing the phone to his ear.

"Y/N! I'm so glad you finally answered! Baby it's not what you thought! I don't even know her real-"

"Y/n is busy," Chan said, looking at you sleeping.

"Chan?" Minseok asked, confused. "Pass her the phone."

"She's exhausted," Chan said, "and it's because of you. I doubt she'll call you back, so please don't call my girl's number again."

"YOUR GIRL??" He shouted on the other end of the line. "BANG CHAN! THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?"

Chan smiled to himself as he said. "Going to sleep with my girlfriend." He got back into bed and smiled at your sleeping face. "Good bye Minseok."

"Oh, Chan I swear-"

Chan hung up and pulled you close to him again.

"What was that about?" You asked half asleep.

"Nothing." Chan kissed your forehead. "Go to sleep."

Chan drove you home the next morning. You were still a bit sad, but as you unlocked the front door your eyes widened at the sight of a disheveled looking Minseok sitting in your kitchen with your elder brother. Chan followed close behind you, his eyes narrowing when he saw the men.

"Y/N!" Minseok jumped from his seat and ran to you.

"Don't touch me!" You shouted as he tried to hug you.

Minho turned to you and Chan. "Minseok told me everything."

"Then why would you let him in-" You started.

"Bang Chan." Minho said quietly. "Get out."

"Minho-" Chan started.

"Get out!" your brother shouted.

"Y/n baby what happened?" Minseok touched your face and you slapped him away.

"What did you tell him?!" You pointed a finger at Minseok.

"What there was to be said." He grabbed your hands and you pulled away.

"Minho. I know what you're thinking-" Chan tried to calm your brother who was standing up now.

"Oh you do?!" Minho said, clearly getting aggravated by Chan's prescence.

"Listen to me-" Chan said, putting his hands up as MInho approached.

But he was cut off by punch to the face that made your eyes widen.

"Bro-" You tried to grab Minho but Minseok grabbed your hand.

"Let's talk about this-" He said before you slapped him hard.

"I told you to stay away from my sister." Minho said, walking up to Chan as he took several steps back.

"Minho let me explain!" Chan said, trying to stay out of his friend's range.

"There's nothing to explain!" Your brother shouted.

"Bro please!" Chan tried.

"Minho!" You grabbed your brother's arm.

He whipped around to face you. "You can't seriously defend him! Y/N!"

"Maybe I am!" You shouted, you walked between Chan and Minho. "No.. I am defending him. He didn't do anything wrong."

Your brother stared at you before looking at Chan and muttering. "Leave."

"Minho." You said softly.

Chan bit his lip before grabbing Minseok and dragging him out with him.

"Why would you do that?!" You shouted as Chan slammed the door behind him.

"Chan wouldn't care about you! IF you knew LIKE I DO you'd understand!" Minho yelled back.

"I don't know him like you do! BUt you should've let him explain!"

"What was there to explain?! He dragged you to bed when you were drunk-"

"DO YOU KNOW WHY?!" You cut him off. "MINSEOK IS AN ASSHOLE! Minseok cheated on me! Chan didn't want to go that far. I asked him to! I like Chan A LOT! Whatever rule or whatever shit you have that keeps me from being with him needs to stop..." You trailed off. "Because you might lose me too."

Your brother stood there in shock as you ran up the stairs.

It was a week later when Chan was out with Jisung, Hyunjin, and Changbin.

"Just tell Minho you're sorry." Changbin said sipping his cola as the three waited for their food.

"He wouldn't even let me talk." Chan groaned, burying his face in his hands.

"Tragic really." Jisung sighed.

Chan and Changbin looked at their friend with blank expressions as if to say be fricking for real.

Jisung sipped his drink. "I think you should just wait a bit. You know? I doubt Minho will stay mad forever, he's your good friend..."

Chan nodded. "I should just apologize whenever he calms down."

"If he doesn't just walk away from the toxic controlling friend." Hyunjin shook his head.

"Apologize now then."

Hyunjin jumped in fear at Minho's voice. "HYUNG!"

Minho looked at Hyunjin. "You'll eat tissues later."

Chan stared at Minho. "How did you even know I was here?"

Jisung looked completely invested in the bubbles floating in his soda suddenly.

Minho laughed and Chan sighed before standing. "Minho I-"

"I'm sorry for punching you." Minho said, "I'm sorry for accusing you of... things... and I'm sorry for making you stay away from Y/N..."

Chan smiled at his friend. "It's alright, I mean I didn't say I liked her before you threw that ban on me suddenly.. I'm sorry too."

The men smiled at each other.

"Hug it out! Hug it out Hug it out! Hug it-" Hyunjin started only to shrink away in fear as Minho grabbed a bunch of napkins from the dispenser on the table.

You laughed and Chan turned to you. "You're here.."

"Someone had to stop Min if he ended up attacking someone." You smiled.

"THEN HELP ME!" Hyunjin started only to get a mouthful of tissues.

You giggled and smiled at Chan as MInho gave him a look.

"May I kiss you princes?" Chan smirked, leaning into you.

MInho acted like he was going to vomit. And Jisung dramatically passed out.

"You may."

Chan pressed his lip against yours.

"ALRIGHT THAT'S ENOUGH!" MInho said rolling his eyes. "You should compensate me for the mental and emotional distress I went through, I say buy me pizza!"

© 2024 xxkissesforchanniexx. DO NOT COPY OR TRANSLATE MY WORK

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

@asahisimpnation, @juskz

[midnightcoffes]

so uh i got no time to doodle today so I'll be doing a analysis for day 9:

Camicazi, Fishlegs, The Slavemark and Hiccup on How to Steal a Dragon's Sword

The first time I read this book, I have to admit, I was disappointed when Camicazi didn't manifest for Hiccup when his Slavemark was revealed. But now, re-reading the books after months, I think I got it. I got the reason why she didnt manifest (and metaphorically turned her back on him) and why Fishlegs did manifest, and acted so viscerally in loyalty to Hiccup.

It's because the world turned their back on Fishlegs and Hiccup a lot of times before.

It turned their back on them when Snotlout called them useless, said they would be better dead and no one cared to disagree. It turned their back on Fishlegs when he was throw into the sea for being a runt. It turned their back on Hiccup when his dad didn't listened to him. It turned their back on them all the times they were bullied, humiliated, excluded, and no one, except each other, cared.

They were to each other the only safe place, the only way to be accepted and loved for their true selves. And if Fishlegs turned his back on Hiccup at this moment, he would be turning his back to his own self, because Hiccup was his only family and the only one who didn't gave up on him all those times before.

Camicazi, for other side, never knew this all, and never experienced this all.

She IS their best friend. Is undeniable. But she didn't went through the years and years of bullying and mistreatment, and a lot of times she's shown to be surprised that Hiccup went through it, because she always sees a different side of him: always the Hiccup that creates miraculous plans, that has no fear to risk his life for protecting people (and dragons), the one who kept beating Alvin again and again. Camicazi is familiar to the Hero Hiccup, not to the 'Useless' one.

And we might as well go a bit further into Camicazi's own life: for what we see of her, she is boastful, proud, and confident most of the time. She doesn't has the expected physique of a Viking, but even being short and skinny, she is talented in everything she was expected to: she's an amazing swordfighter, a master in stealing, an expert at insulting people, has an amazing dragon and well, many times she acts fearless. Is clear that Bertha is proud of her. Is clear that she knows that she is good. Is clear that she didn't went through what the boys did.

I'm not saying Camicazi had the perfect childhood. She might have had bad times – bet that being captured so many times does not do good for the mind of a kid (because is that what they all are). All I'm saying is that their childhood wasn’t the same, and this causes Camicazi to be shocked to her core when she sees the Slavemark on Hiccup.

She must have felt, at a certain point, betrayed. Because "Why didn't he told her? Weren't they best friends?" and she saw a image so distorted of Hiccup that she believed he was the Perfect Hero. A perfect hero shouldn't have the Slavemark. And that's what breaks the idolized thought she had from him.

So I don't blame her for not manifesting for Hiccup. Not anymore.

Thats it for the day! I had more to say but the migraines truly got my ass and now I cant even look at the letters right. This is more a rant than a analysis but well. its life lol

(also just to be said english is not my first language and im not fluent on it so. just know that this would be ten times better in my mother language. im sorry for any mistakes!)

[glumet-shadow]

The great rose killer

In the walls of heartslabyul there were two kings, one of Knights, and the other of roses. Both had a burning hot past of pain.

The great king of roses, his name was Riddle rosehearts, while the king of Knights was named Leo tsukinaga. One ran from their position in the midst of the war, and the other was never even involved.

"A true leader never runs from those they lead, no matter what. Even in the 'judgement'." Tsukasa said to his dorm leader Riddle. "I've never run from anything I have lead Tsukasa. I take it to the end." Riddle said in response. Across the room, Leo who was watching the tyrannical dorm leader and his unit mate discuss something. Ace was recently banished from the dorm, the antithesis to Riddle. Of course, Leo knew it was injustice. He fought on the front lines of the yumenosaki war, of course he would stand up to Riddle! He saw the pain tyranny led to. Because Eichi clawed and slashed at Leo until he left the school, and his unit Knights.

The final judgement, a common Knights purge. The first known and recorded one was when Tsukasa and Leo fought for control over the unit. But Leo cannot ask of aid from other idols in this case. But he also couldnt turn to Ace or Anzu. So he had to stand alone, the greatest rose killer. Thats what he could call himself.

King of roses, King of Knights, possibly one in the same soon. But only time could tell. Ace was ready to stand against Riddle in the battle, but Leo stopped him saying "I ran before, this time I will be the King they seek! This new land shall be my greatest kingdom! And Riddle will roll in his grave when he sees what I will create!" Ace, Anzu, Deuce, Subaru, Hokuto, and Mao all stood in shock. Tsukasa even more so, but he smiled. Leo finally had become the leader of knights he shouldve been. Riddle turned red.

The only correct rule, he called himself. Riddle stood up after the intense battle, black began to cover his body. The metal of Leo's sword clashed against the blot. They heard a pained shriek of pain from Leo. The thorns that surrounded the king of roses cut Leo down where he stood. In the background Arashi stood, watching her 'king' fall. She drew her magic pen, and a blast of fire hit Riddle. Thorns burned.

"I wont give up." Leo said while standing up with a cut on his left arm. "I will be a king again!" He shouted, his normally smiling demeanor gone. His happy green eyes turned cold as his blade cut through the blot and the reflection of the sword caused Riddle to fall unconscious. Into the depths of memories of pain, and the judgement of his mother.

-------------------

Okay guys, hope you enjoyed this little thing,h I was rewatching the anime and thought of this. The art is my own btw! I worked for like an hour or so. This took like 10 min to write. But the references are from the episode 'checkmate' of the enstars anime for those curious! The sword I found off pinterest and just added the rose to it. If you guys are curious I can post what enstars character goes to what dorm next time. Also im working on the next dorm for yan enstars x twst. So far it looks good. Once im done with the dorms I plan to work on the units.

[knivxsanddespair]

Meeting with the Lebeaus.

As the talk was promised at ten, they heard a knock at nine.

Gambit and Rogue exchanged a look of surprise at the early arrival, but they composed themselves quickly and gestured for Rosemary to lead the young man into the living room. Rosemary excused herself to do some heavy homework and would reunite with Wildcard later.

As the two mutants waited, Gambit fiddled with a playing card, while Rogue folded her arms and set her face in a thinking expression.

Rosemary told Wildcard to keep it casual for the meeting, and he wore a Sukajan jacket, a Rebel Eight cap, Converse shoes and jeans. "A pleasure to meet you, maam." He nodded to her. "I am Akio Satoshi Tetsuya, also known as Wildcard." He slightly bowed to Rogue and Gambit.

Both Gambit and Rogue nodded warily in response to Wildcard's introduction. Rogue continued to scrutinize him with a critical eye, while Gambit casually fiddled with a playing card.

"We know who you are, cher" Gambit said, his Cajun accent slipping through. "And we ain't too thrilled 'bout you consortin' with our daughter."

"And I dont expect you to. Thats your job as parents." Wildcard spoke logically, and that stumped them. "May I be sitted, maam?" He asked Rogue.

Rogue gestured towards a nearby couch, her expression softening slightly. "Of course, darlin'. Please, have a seat," she replied, her Southern hospitality shining through.

"Thank you." Wildcard sat down, and so did Gambit and Rogue who looked at him, his demeanor and his attire.

Wildcard smiled. "So, I know you have a lot of questions so, lets do a rapid fire questioning to make it interesting?"

"Sounds good to me, sugah." Rogue smirked to Gambit.

"Gambit goes first. What brings you here today, cher?"

"We are here because Rosemary wants us to get to know each other." Wildcard replied.

"Rogue let out a soft chuckle, a mixture of amusement and skepticism in her eyes. "We figured somethin' like that," she drawled. "But I reckon we may as well get acquainted then."

Gambit nodded, a small smirk playing on his lips. "That's right. So, Wildcard, tell us about yourself. What's your story?"

"Im blessed in a family of a mother, a father and seven older sisters in Osaka, Japan."

Gambit nodded, clearly intrigued by Wildcard's family background. "Seven older sisters, huh? That must've been quite a house to grow up in," he commented, a friendly jest in his voice.

Rogue tilted her head slightly, the corner of her lips curving into a hint of a smile. "I imagine you probably got plenty of guidance and tough love from them all," she observed, envisioning the lively chaos of a large family. "Mah turn. Is there a girlfriend you had before ya'll had Rosemary's heart?"

Wildcard has never lied about stuff like this and would not start now. "Before Rosemary" He showed a picture of a pretty mutant girl with long black with two pairs of eyes beside himself. "I had feelings for a girl at 15, Megumi Junko. A debuting mutant idol."

Gambit and Rogue's eyes widened slightly as they glanced at the picture of Megumi Junko and how pretty she was.

"Mutant idol?" Gambit repeated, his brow furrowing slightly. "What happened? Did you guys break up?"

"Nowhere near that." Wildcard sighed. "...I wanted to tell my feelings for her, but she wanted him to wait until she became a known idol, whos job was to sing and let mutants know they can be more. She had a great debut..until she was chopped up by her human parents out of jealousy and mutant bigotry and hatred. Makes me sick."

Gambit and Rogue's expressions immediately darkened as they listened to Wildcard recount the tragic story of Megumi Junko. Both were deeply empathized with how painful it must have been for Wildcard to wait and hope for a chance to confess his feelings to her only to lose her so tragically.

"Oh no," Rogue muttered, her usually composed demeanor shifting into one of empathetic sadness for Wildcard.

"I spent the whole night and day, finding her parts and sewing them myself to give her a proper burial. She deserved that at least."

Gambit just blinked. "You truly did love her, Cher. Gambit's sorry, no one should lose their love at such a young age."

"I've honored her memory and moved on after I grieved. That is what she would have wanted. Life sometimes hands you a crappy hand. Her parents are rotting in jail, so karma is fair."

Both Gambit and Rogue nodded as Rogue spoke now. "Ah dont mean to downplay anything, sugah. Ya'll had a lot going on fer you, but still, Rosemary is our daughter. How can we trust you with her?"

Wildcard shrugged nonchalantly. "I could have kissed both of your asses and buttered you up right from the start, but that is not who I am. You asked, I answered, no matter how it sounds. My parents taught me to be a man of my word and I stick to my word."

"A straight shooter, non?" Gambit smirked. "Gambit aprecciates that. Not many kids had a backbone as yours. Say, boy. Ever had Jambalaya before?"

"No sir." He shook his head.

"Good, I made some, in the kitchen. You want some, since you here?"

Wildcard just smiled, nodding his head. "Thank you sir."

"Not a problem cher. Least I can do after ya answered our questions, mon ami."

(That took longer tham expected, but here you go @a-roguish-gambit )

[nightswithkookmin]

I love Hobi, God knows I do and he is enlisting soon. I get that. Me is ot7 anyday of the week. But here lies my issue;

FACE lasted on there 👇🏽 for all of 2 minutes

Then look how close their release dates are.

Members so far have gotten to promote their shit with no interruptions but Jimin has to share the limelight❓❓❓ For whatever reason. And people are gonna keep yapping about how he's the company's favorite? Ain't no such thing man, Fuck outta here!

I'm on pills and that's not even working

First off, I think two things can be true at once. Jm could be hybe's favorite idol and still get screwed up by hybe💀

Ain't nobody following the script like Park Jimin, ain't nobody fetching them coins and attention like Park Jimin. He's the korean IT Boy brand reputation king. Hybe's gotta love him and if they don't fuck them. They ain't shit anyways😌

This whole shmelly business has me between rocky and palm face won't lie. And any comment I make on this will fetch me some heat but here goes nothing. On one hand I love me some healthy idol competition up in BAngtan to see who outsells who and who out performs who- makes for quality entertainment if you ask me.

but on the other hand, I just hate blatant injustices and this right here is the mother of all injustices. It's just atrocious and wrong. It's not really a fair competition if some have more resources, more exposure and more corporate support now is it?

What is good for the goose is good for the gander and I'm just not seeing the fair equitable distribution of company resources on this one. Hybe needs to wash their ass with soap. It stinks from all the shitting they be shitting out here.

It's one thing if they are doing it on purpose but if all this is just one big coincidence as a result of their lack of thoughtfulness and awareness in handing these boys' marketing then I'm sorry someone needs to get skinned up in there. Yea I said it. Off with their heads.

Knowing hybe it's either they think JM has enough organic traction to sell on his own- matter fact, when it comes to the maknae line vs the hyung line this is very often the approach but we don't talk about that💀

I remember they did the same thing around the time of covid right before BTS announced they were going solo. I remember ranting about how they were deliberately sabotaging BTS to promote the other brands under hybe.

It's not uncommon for hybe to use the influence, reach and relevance of one brand to cross promote another. Yall recieved the weird notifications from certain brands on Weverse?

Whe it comes to the hyung line, the company goes a little bit hard and extra each time and they often do this with the members they think are least likely to perform in terms of numbers.

However, this time around, I think it has something to do with the enrollment list? Don't know, could be wrong. The thought that JM or Namjoon is next after Hobi makes me sick to the tummy and I hope I'm wrong 😭😭😭

I want to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they going off of the enlistment list and need to do whatever they can for Hobi before he leaves.

Besides, I think If they were to treat the members equally and not equitably, I'm afraid some members wouldn't do as well- phpah pah paw. Gunshots😭😭

I know they think Jimin has the numbers, and he will do great in spite of these hurdles- but see, that's how we lose. THATS HOW WE FUCKING LOSE when everyone stops pushing cos they think this is an easy win!

I've seen Bangtan lose and come close to losing awards because of mentalities like this for me to sit quietly and watch it happen to Park Jimin. IT'S JUST NOT FAIR!

But then i also dont see him as competing against the hyung line you know? What are they competing for? Those two have totally different audiences and need unique market approaches and strategies to reach them💀

And I'm not just talking about reaching just army.

I would be concerned if they started using the same promotional strategy of a rapper for a singer.

If anything, I think JMs competition is the Maknae line and probably Jin too as he is also part of the vocal line. Therefore I feel I don't have a yardstick to measure him against yet as neither Jungkook nor Tae's album has been released- right?

But wait till it's JK or Taehyung's turn and let me see different treatment out here- I DARE THEM

If hybe thinks they are just going to gloss over things and sweep JMs album debut under the rags then they have another thing coming. They should plant their feet on solid grounds cos I'm about yanking the ground from underneath them.

They are going to leave everything on the shoulder of the fans and then swoop in last minute to claim they did shit for the BOYS when things turn out great.

They should show me the budget they have for each members' promotional package. Let's start there. Cos that determines how and where each member gets promoted.

On the flip side, having those two contents out around the same time reduces promotion costs as such content tend to cross promote eachother. Face will definitely drive traffic to Hobi's content as will Hobi's content to Face.

Personally I wished they would release vminkook albums consecutively within a short span of eachother. People listening to face will be more likely to click on Jk's song and Tae's right after. It keeps the fans engaged, keeps the momentum going and keeps all three trending on the charts making it hard for an outsider to break the chain.

They could have done same for the hyung line too.

All this seem to lack direction and each day my non existent faith in hybe wanes.

I hope the end would justify the means. Hopefully. I'm gonna sit tightly out here and watch it all play out to the credits and then I will comment on it😌

Hybe brought them this far, I should at least hope they know what the hell they are doing. But if Face pays the price for their edgy endeavors then I shouldn't be held responsible for the hex I put on them.

It's funny how you say Jimin is about to share the limelight when he's actually about to eat Hobi up😭😭

Gotta run 🏃‍♂️ 🏃‍♂️ 🏃‍♂️

[danses-with-dogmeat]

hiiii!! congrats on 1.5k thats amazing!! if youre still taking requests for the event. could i get ☠️🦖 “I’m trying to do the right thing! Don’t you see that?” with Arcade? (romanced or not) thank you!!

Yessssss, Arcade! And angst! This is so fun!

It's not too crazy angst fest, like some of the others, but hopefully still along the lines of what you were looking for. And I'm not quite sure how I feel about my writing in this one, but.... I've looked at it enough times that I just need to send it out into the world, lol.

Anyway, I hope you like it! 😁

"I'm trying to do the right thing, can't you see that?" Arcade pleaded as genuinely as Six had seen him, his green eyes shining brightly with the conviction of his beliefs. "That's why I joined the Followers, why I spend my days trying to help people to the best of my abilities. Or did you think that was all part of some big, Enclave plot?"

He waved his hands about dramatically, and Six's nostrils flared in annoyance.

"No, that, I'm okay with." They ignored his snide question, "Helping people isn't a problem, obviously, and... I know that you aren't a part of that group anymore, but... it's your clear idolization of your former faction that I-- I just can't stand it, Arcade." Their voice nearly broke at that, their fingers curling and tensing into fists where they held their hands at their sides. "After everything I've heard about the Enclave, everything they've done... They were fascists, they were self-centered and cruel and so fanciful and grandiose with their beliefs of re-creating the world from before the war that they consistently committed crimes against humanity without any sort of consideration, without a second thought!"

"While that interpretation was a bit dramatic for my taste, still, I'm not denying any of that." He said coolly, "But I also can't deny the fact that they were my family. Whether or not I agreed with their ideologies, well... what choice did I have? I was a kid."

"And what about now?" Six had calmed themselves, but still, an urgency remained in their voice.

He nearly rolled his eyes at it.

"Now?" Arcade scoffed, "What do you think?"

"I'm asking you, Arcade." They punctuated their words with a firm step forwards, challenging.

"Very well, Six, let's examine this." His eyes blazed as, he too, moved forward in response, his hands coming together in a definitive clap, acting as punctuation.

"So, to start off, fleeing my home and faction with my mother after my father was killed, laying low and hiding from, well, pretty much everyone given how the Brotherhood and the NCR felt about this 'family business' of mine. Would you say, I mean, are my actions aligning with Enclave ideals so far? I'm not sure, but I'll go on anyway." Six's nostrils flared once more at the dry ire accompanying his words, but they remained silent.

"Growing up around the remnants of the Enclave," He continued, "while remaining as hidden as we could on the outskirts of NCR land. Doing some farming, foraging, learning what we could from those around us, now that we were out of our small community and entering into the great, wide wasteland, sure, yeah, that might have been pretty fascist of us, I could give you that--"

"Arcade, this isn't what I meant, and you know it. I was talking about how you're--"

"Now. Okay yeah, you're right. All of that was just about ancient history at this point, huh? Given that you can only recall... what? Your life for the past year? Yeah, I was going too far back. Let's stop and consider your place in all this."

"Arc--" Their fists clenched, but he tried to ignore it as he held up a finger to keep from being interrupted again.

"Ah, ah. I'm working on it, tenere vos equos." His voice and expression were wild with vicious sarcasm as he carried on his speech. "When you met me, I was working for the Followers of the Apocalypse, after being trained as a doctor, trying to find the cures to certain ailments through the use of local plants, which, while gloriously and ironically unfruitful work, it was-- in my fascist opinion-- a noble pursuit."

Six was silent as he finished, their deadpan expression difficult to read.

Which is the preferable alternative to being outwardly pissed off, so I suppose I'll take it.

"I was doing that, anyway." Arcade continued, the smallest tinge of humor creeping back into his voice after it's previous indignation, "Until some dusty nobody stumbled in and said they needed a handsome doctor to help them, what was it? Be a 'better person' and 'save the Mojave' and become 'much more charming' with said doctor's assistance."

Their lips twitched, a telltale sign that he almost had them.

"Look, I know how it looks. I know my past is as checkered as your crazy would-be murderer's tacky suit jacket, but... I wouldn't have even bothered telling you about it if I didn't think I could trust you."

Six looked down at that, their eyebrows scrunching together, wrinkling their forehead slightly, and shifting the remaining scarred skin left from the bullets that nearly killed them.

Arcade's own chest gave a brief ache of sympathy.

We both have scars. Their's are just out here for all to see.

"It's not something I go around advertising, you know? Like you said, the Enclave weren't the most, ah, popular group."

"Then..." They spoke up finally, their voice quiet, but sincere. "Why did you tell me?"

Arcade's brows rose.

"You need your ears checked? Because I've got the special stethoscope and everything, we could do it right now."

Now a soft laugh left them, and the doctor's eyes crinkled a bit with his returned hint of a grin.

"Okay, you trust me... but..."

"Why?" He repeated for them.

Six nodded.

"Do you really want to stand out here in the sun all day? Because, well, it's a pretty long list. What do you say we just do the short version, save from being sunburnt, you know, non perdis tempus nec meum." They nodded like they did know, even though Arcade doubted that they did, he continued on without bothering to translate.

"But I've known you a year now, which, yeah, not too long, but still... we've stuck together longer than I've been around anyone but a few... choice affiliates and family members in my life, and you've... You've accepted me. As cheesy as that sounds," He chuckled, losing himself briefly to the sincerity of his confession, "You've pretty much been the first one. No one else has gotten here, to this point. They all leave before it can happen. But you... well, obviously you didn't. I figured... If you can put up with the rest of me, why not one last-ditch effort? See how handsome and charming you really think I am. See if it's enough to keep you around, despite everything else about me. Despite my fascism and perceived affiliation to crimes against humanity, my boring personality..."

"Well... It was." Six said quietly, and Arcade's eyes snapped to theirs. "I know that... That I might've reacted a little harshly to you telling me about your past, about your family and... and the Enclave, but... All that you've done, for others and for me, it all speaks volumes. And it speaks volumes in Latin, so it's also unfalteringly charming."

"Ahh, yes. Just like the rest of me, right?" Arcade winked, and Six only shook their head.

"Don't make me redact my statement, doctor." They said with a grin, "Because I reserve my right to do so."

"But you wouldn't." He shot back, his eyes narrowing playfully, "Else, you would have done it by now. Ne minaris quod facere non potes, Six."

[twopoppies]

Lmaooo Olivia did a photoshoot for Elle Magazine and she has the pickle bookstore cap in on of the pics. Thats like Oh I want Privacy but also let me wear this to connect myself to Harry in a magazine.

Oh my god she is unbelievable. She’s clearly on her redemption tour, but she is absolutely full of shit. Look at this nonsense she’s trying to spin:

Let’s start off with acting like her film had a point to make. Then remind people that everything that’s happened is because of “misogyny”

Over tea, Wilde confides her disappointment with the way the story has been “minimized into bite-size TikTok points.” When I offer that it could be good publicity, she says her intention was not, as she jokes, to “throw myself into the flames for the movie.” She wants people to pay attention to what’s onscreen, and is frustrated that the press hasn’t. “This film is trying to ask big questions, but [it’s] ‘Let’s just focus on this sideshow over here,’ ” she says. “Having been a known figure for a while...makes me well-equipped to have a Teflon exterior. But it also means that you’re under a different kind of microscope. It’s brought my attention to the media and how it pits women against one another.” (For what it’s worth, she has nothing but praise for her leading lady. “She’s so generous in her acting in every scene. She makes everyone around her better.”)

Move on to pretending she’s still working on a film that’s been shelved. Make a “subtle” point on how she’s the victim here.

Meanwhile, Wilde is developing, and set to direct, a Kerri Strug biopic with the working title Perfect, and reportedly has a deal with Sony to direct a hush-hush, female-centric Marvel feature. “A few of the things I have in development are about the raw determination of women,” she says. “Clearly, I idolize women who survive a system that they feel challenged by.”

Aligns herself with Florence and once again says she, Olivia, is the real victim.

Perhaps it’s something she can relate to as she navigates this latest chapter. “It is shocking to see so many untruths about yourself traded as fact,” she says. “Florence had a really wise comment that we didn’t sign up for a reality show. And I love that she put it that way, because it’s as though the general public feels that if you are making something that you’re selling to the public, you somehow have accepted that your life will be torn to shreds by a pack of wolves. No, that’s actually not part of the job description. Never was.”

Bring up Harry, try to align with the queer community, remind people about her important “female pleasure” point.

“I was interested in acknowledging female pleasure that doesn’t come from penetration.... The one area of cinema where I don’t see people being held back [about sex] in this way is queer cinema. Harry has a film coming out, My Policeman, which is a wonderful example of real eroticism that is explored and treated in an adult way without being fetishized or objectified.

THIS IS THE CHERRY ON TOP. Act as though she wasn’t the one who made the film all about sex. Aligns herself with Florence again.

“But it’s interesting because Florence very wisely pointed out that a lot of attention has been given to the sex scenes. And I think she’s so right. I completely agree with her that it’s overshadowing everything else that the movie’s about, which is so interestingly ironic because one of the uses of sex in Victory is as a tool of distraction. When Florence pointed that out that this film is so much bigger and better than just the sex scenes, I was so happy that she said that because I feel the same way.”

Remind people she’s a good mom by pretending she doesn’t get papped with them and that she’s with them all the time, you just don’t know it.

“I share custody of my kids with my ex. If I’m photographed not with my kids, people assume I have abandoned them, like my kids are just somewhere in a hot car without me. The suggestion is that I have abandoned my role as a mother. You know why you don’t see me with my kids? Because I don’t let them get photographed. Do you know the lengths that I go to to protect my kids from being seen by you?”

And it goes on in the same ridiculous manner. Read it here. If you want. And don’t forget… she’s “dating” Harry Styles and “he” bought her this hat.

[apompkwrites]

I’m pretty happy to see others talking about my ideas (Mei!Al-Asim). I watched the links Randomeroachers sent and it made me rethink how I’ve been writing it. It’s mainly small things but they do somewhat affect the story so I’ll maybe go back and redo it. In the meantime..Lil!Rosehearts similar to Mafuyu Asahina anyone?

In Project Sekai, each group has a virtual world called a sekai, which houses a Miku that fits with the group (I forgot to mention that it’s a rhythm game made by Sega lol). It can be entered through a track called untitled, which has no song to it. The sekai is a visual world representation of how the person feels. Mafuyu’s sekai is called Empty Sekai, which represents how Mafuyu feels: empty and lost.

Mafuyu was conditioned to believing that whatever her parents and others wished for her was the right choice. She was the top of her class, smart, pretty and approachable. Except Mafuyu didn’t exactly want this (she was kinda manipulated into doing it). Her mother did. Mafuyu’s mother constantly told Mafuyu what she should and shouldn’t do, moulding her into a perfect girl. Unfortunately, this caused Mafuyu to lose herself. She doesn’t know who she is, what she likes or what her hobbies are. So she attempts to find herself. How? Through music. She composes songs under the channel ‘OWN’ and found music composed by a girl named Kanade Yoisaki. Mafuyu said that Kanade’s music resonated with her and joins her group Nightcord at 25:00, along with Mizuki Akiyama and Ena Shinonome. These are the events that happened before the main group story.

You can probably see how it fits with lil!rosehearts. An overbearing mother who conditions her children to be nothing less than perfect. Mafuyu!Rosehearts would have learned from Riddles past mistake of playing with Trey and the others and know how to be more careful with hiding their passion for music. Mafuyu even has a breakdown in the main story which could be the basis for an overblot scene😈…

I might be remembering some things wrong but thats the general gist of it. Nightcord is my favourite group out of all of them, and Kanade is my personal favourite. I recommend listening to some of their songs. Some are commissioned but some are covers, so make sure to also listen to the original if you can! I feel like a salesperson trying to convince you to get into Honkai and Pjsekai (is it working).

-🦋 anon.

hehe i've seen a lot of people compare lil rose to mafuyu :))

funny enough i do actually play project sekai :DDD m not too into the story mainly because i got into it because of the rhythm game aspect instead of the story. but i might go back and read the main story sometime :DD

(btw yes yes it is working. been meaning to play honkai but i need to free up some space to play :(( )

anyway, yes yes lil rose and mafuyu def share a lot in common which is,,, unfortunate for them. but it got me thinking about lil rose and idol au and project sekai au things so here's some lil redraws of lil rose as mafuyu :DD

[xuanelle]

12 and 13 for ask game!

the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

mirei park. do I understand why some people don't like her? yes absolutely. what she did to kiryu I can fully get bothering people, and I can understand people who don't like her because they don't like her relationship with majima (not that she's to fault for it but just more so the idea that majima would do that) but genuinely though gamerbrosTM are so fucking annoying about her that it made me like her more after finishing the game. if I have to see one more gamerbro say her getting an abortion was an awful thing for majima and centering his feelings when a woman has a right to abort a kid if she wishes to and also he was the one in canon who y'know. hurt her. and notably majima realized he fucking fucked up and left the very next day and never talked to her ever again. like I can get people who don't like her/the relationship bc they think it's ooc even though I think blaming her for it is :/ (I mean the relationship isn't something to like obviously I just mean more so how it affects how they think of her) but seeing people say she was wrong for aborting the kid and deserved to get hit fuck you and never talk to a woman irl ever again

and again these same people act like she's the worst character because she did that to kiryu but I've seen more general love for someya who was a y6 villain who was a piece of shit to his partner or just men who are worse then her but because she's a woman and is mean and does a fucked up thing in her first apperance she's the worst alive

and like this is the same series where mine yoshitaka is a beloved character and he destroyed an entire oprhanage because he wanted the land the orphanage was built on. and those kids were hurt by his men. but mirei who genuinely did seem to want the best for haruka's dream as an idol, who knows the horrors of the idol industry and the danger of rumours and y'know what happens to your idol career if people know you have a relationship with a yakuza finds out kiryu is Yakuza and gaslights kiryu into him thinking he's not a good influence to his kids and that he should leave and that if haruka wants to be an idol he needs to go is evil and a bitch. which. is wrong. she is wrong for this. but I'm saying the double standards here are fucking insane

like they're both wrong. they both fuck up but the thing is. they're both also given sympathy by the narrative. mirei and Haruka have a sweet dynamic she buys her clothes and plays games with her and does care abt her !!!! and mirei does do a lot less harm then mine who is a Yakuza patriarch!! but she gets all the hate for daring to be a woman who is mean and complicited and messy. like I get why some people wouldn't like her but the way gamerbros talk about her is fucking insane they act as if she's the worst character in the series (I've seen ppl say she's worse then fucking oda who y'know. trafficked women) is insane because g-d forbid a female character being given character traits the male characters in these games have.

anyway this really wasn't me talking abt why people should like her but I guess my answer is if you like male characters who are similar to mirei then well. why don't you like her (again her and mine r different but that's the closest comparison I got) ALSO her relationship with Haruka is sweet Haruka says she's like a mother to her and thats :")

worst blorboficiation

sigh. i've already said majima so i don't wanna say him again </3 but know he's the first one that popped into my head for this. anyway i guess my answer for this is..... damn my brain really really wants to say majima 😭😭 but i guess uh maybe marc spector. i think this is mainly a twitter thing but I've seen so many people talk abt marc as if he's just some badass cool guy and that he's that guy™ and such a surface level take of who he is and genuinely tend to ignore his past or the wrongdoings he has committed. or just. any of the complicated aspects of the character (the show made all of this way worse)

marc spector was a bad person who did horrible things and is trying to change and often ends up right back at where he started but depsite that, despite how much he hates himself he keeps trying to protect people, he keeps being a hero even when he earnestly believes the man behind the mask is anything but. and He has an addiction to violence that's completely and utterly unhealthy for him. and he admits to this. and yet people will see that and go marc spector is just THAT GUY™ and it's such a surface level take of him that I despise.

[z1bells]

Since I'm one episode away from finishing Saving Hope, here's some of my thoughts (I will edit this post tomorrow)

! Warning: Long post !

- 1st impressions:

I thought having a storyline of a doctor talking with ghosts was weird at first...

But my curiousity got the best of me and I started liking the show

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

- The Charapters:

• Charlie Harris (The main charpater): I love him sm, he's definitly one of my favorites, his style reminds me of Conrad Hawkins (The Resident), I loved how he tries to help the ghosts.

• Alex Reid (The 2nd main charpater): I love her sm and I feel so bad for her😭, in just 5 seasons she lost her brother, colley, mother and husband.

She might be a little annoying sometimes, but she's fine overall

• Joel Goran (The fan favorite): For some reason, he reminds me of Douxie Casperan (Tales of Arcadia), but I love him sm too, its sad that he had to die on "All the pretty horses" (Last ep from S3)

• Maggie Lin: LOVE LOVE LOVE HER SO MUCHH💗🫶🏻! I loved her smm on S3 (S3 Maggie on top>>) She might had left on S5, but hey! She's happy with her gf (Sydney)

• Sydney Katz: Sydney ily but how many times you had to left😭, but I love her sm too!

She might had left for the hundred time, but hey! At least this time she's with her gf (Maggie)

Lintz defender since 2023 :3

• Dawn Bell: I feel like this will be contervercial... But... I liked Dawn

I do admit...I didn't rlly loved her on the 1st seasons. But her charapters develoment was amazing! (Dawn pls take a break)

• Zack Miller: Another charpater that deserves better. But he's a decent charapter, I feel bad for him on "All the pretty horses" after witness Joel's death (Him and Joel were friends)

• Shahir Hamza: ONE OF MY FAVORITES!! Has a autistic person, I loved how it was well protacted and respresented during the show!

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

- Extras charapters:

• Wayne Sharp: He deserved more screentime. But he's a nice charapter

• Jackson: I love his humor, he didn't had alot of screentime, but during it, he was iconic

• Jeremy Bishop: Probably another fan favorite, he didn't had much screentime, but hey, him and Charlie were friends and I loved that

• Dana Kinney: MY GIRLL!! I loved her so much! She deserved so much better, her and Alex are a inseperable bond>>>

• Cassie Williams: Her charapter develoment>>>, in the last seasons she was amazing!! I loved her energy so much!

Sad to see her go, but at least she's working with her idol

• Dev Sekara: Another charpater who had a incredible develoment, him and Cassie were so cute togheter!

• Asha Mirani: She didn't had alot of screentime, but she deserved so much better, I feel so bad to her

I have nothing to say much about hed since she left during S4

• Kristine Fields (Another ghost speaker): At 1st she was fine...But after her incident she started to be a little annoying and even she went to the point to haunt Charlie during her sugery😭

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Series Finale / Final thoughts:

Just finished watching "First and Last".

When I said that Jackson deserves more screentime... THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT

You might think its getting worst? It does, when they all waiting for Jackson, a huge acident happend. And just like the description of "Hope Never Dies"... "They can't safe everyone"

I. AM. NOT. READY FOR THE FINALE

Finished "Hope Never Dies". I cried at the end of the episode

Charlie's gone, gone in his own series. The series started with him in a coma, ended with him brain dead.

Alex deserves so much better, I feel bad for her...

The hole episode reminds me from "The Long and Winding Road" - The Resident: S5, ep 3 (Trust me, I'm still in denial with that episode after a year ago), but a little bit more extreme...

Overwall, I loved the show sm!! Its sad it didn't got another season but I enjoyed watching it

Let me know what you think about this!

[baylardo]

dumping my augmented!philippa arc thoughties :3 these are messy sorryyyyyyuuuuuuh mainly for myself haha

involves her getting her first ship as a captain hehe.

contextually this would be post-academy, post-amelia running away and philippa rescuing her, post-voyager 20 year reunion.

broad idea is that she gets assigned to a science vessel going out to retrieve/protect a lost and abandoned starfleet warship that was originally stolen by the augments and has over the years been upgraded with augment technology and the like. her captain ends up injecting her with augmented DNA that causes her to look more "human" for a time and she's obviously forced to take medical leave as the augmented DNA dissipates from her system.

what if the AGENDA part of experimenting on philippa specifically is that shes an hyperevolved human. idk what the specifics would be or what exactly theyre trying to achieve in working with hyperevolved/augmented dna, in my brain i was thinking like “temporary heightened senses/capabilities” but im not sure yeT. im thinking maybe that the person who ends up experimenting on her wouldn’t be romantically close with her but Positionally close on a starship? like im thinking either CMO like we said OOOOOR her captain WINK like maybe philippa's a lieutenant and then out of the blue this captain of a science vessel, heavily involved in apprehending escaped augments (this is how we eventually get her Legacy ship maybe) they have a very bright mind and are well-renowned within starfleet, and INSISTS they have philippa as her XO. (im imagining an intimidating old hot alien??? hybrid??? science lady omg LIKE shes cool and an idol to philippa) and its all a plot to get philippa close to her or something,,,, idk if itd just be her or some of her crew as well.

i bet kathryn would be SEETHING though to find out thats what happened after she gets her daughter back all violated and experimented on and stuff

like ed’s inacessible, liam’s a halfbreed, amelia’s AFK at home with a kid, kathryn’s inaccessible, so is tom. maybe this lady has been interested in them since Endgame with voyagers return home and has wanted to examine the children but wasnt granted access.

i can see her totally prying on philippas deeeeep need to look and be different. like shes painfully average in academics and she looks weird and this captain offers her an unconventional solution.

little devious artist me wanted to do a color scheme that was like purple-heavy and overall very mommy sorry in aura. was thinking shed be hybrid At Least so philippas like “cool shes so relatable to me" i like the andorian idea bc their antennae are expressive like barbels hehe :3 (whatever they call them lol silly head tubes) blue works too hehe. i just want her to look weird to human standards.

maybe shes wanting to recover and harness what the augments left behind? maybe the Vesuvius (or whatever the original ship ends up being called) is dead in the water (space lol) and abandoned and the captain's been wanting to get her hands on augment tech for decades. :3 like their mission was to go recover/protect the ship before anyone else can get their hands on it, the captain keeps them out there to explore this HUGE vessel that needs a freighter ship or something to transport it back to the federation for deconstruction and repairs

regarding what ends up HAPPENING to the captain after that, part of me thinks ESCAPE so philippas mission could be tracking her down, but maybe starfleet wouldnt want a victim of hers having that much involvement over her apprehension. maybe philippa sidetracks as a captain to go get her herself she always seems like a really disobedient and risky person to bet on in starfleet. gets in trouble a lot but her track record of succeeding impossible odd scenarios is like Insane haha

the captain's mother is an Andorian zhen (female presenting, the carrier of children type of female) with no bond. she misses her “reproductive window” and proceeds to self experiment. i know andorians like CELEBRATE having children but id be curious to see how theyd take a zhen girly going to such strange extremes to conceive. like i bet shed be an outcast, maybe for more than just that reason (maybe its why she isnt paired off in a bond) just a strange science girl. her daughter thinks she was a genius but maybe think she didnt harness or live up to her capabilities as a scientist idk. and if she has biological defects probably holds that against her as well.

i figure the captain has done a lot of good in the same field as her mother (probably xenobiology or something), obviously making captain and everything, but shes been biding her time. i bet she felt outcast by andorians because of her mother. i think theyd have a complicated relationship that on the surface was very loving and appreciative but underneath shes like All Of My Problems Originate With You

after philippa returns all augmented and stuff, kathryn steps in to lead whatever project it is they have going on with the augmented starfleet warship (Vesuvius maybe,,,,,) that they successfully recovered,,,,, philippa doesnt find out about her mothers involvement for a BIT but maybe theyd fight about kathryn keeping it from her while she's on medical leave. theyre both equally determined to bring pip's ex-captain to justice. and eventually when the reconstructed ship is finished thats how philippa gets assigned to captain it? (her mommy thinking shes ready for it hehehe)

maybe medical leave philippa keeps pestering Everyone to let her back in and resume her career or whatever and kathryn in particular is like “show me youre ready” and its all a cute little test during her recovery to show she can overcome the augment-pilling and also calm DOWN so she isnt raging chasing after her ex captain

[majachee]

tell me about these ocs 👁👁

My OCs, you see, come from a fairly passionate interest of mine.

And... my grievances towards certain modern adaptations.

See, I like stories that expand on or reimagine classic myths, and use said myths in a new and interesting way! Especially if they have an added cultural/historical influence, like Garmr and Fenrir in God of War: Ragnarök!

For some mythos, our resources are lacking. Especially with Norse mythos, where are main source is essentially surviving ruins and texts from outside sources, and Snorri's Edda (which was written during the Christianization of Scandinavia. And some of the sources we have of the Vikings come from biased outside sources and unnearthed graves.)

So, creative liberties are inevitable. I don't get too up in arms about "mischaractetizations" like some other mythology nerds because... well... they're fictional characters based on thousands year old mythos. And thus, I was inspired to break free from these chains and go absolutely buck wild with my own creative liberties! With some inspiration from other medias, of course. I always found God of War's multi-pantheon story interesting, so I'm expanding on that concept a bit in my own story! I like Hellblade's portrayal of the gods from an outsider looking in, especially with the added context of her trauma, of course these gods of the men who killed those she loved would be seen as monsters! A more modern twist on Orpheus and Eurydice in Hadestown? With the added industrialism commentary? YUMMY. (Ignoring my issues with the Persephone and Hades stuff)

And so, that's what I hope to bring to the table! An exploration of fate, mortality, morality, and philosophy using gods and familiar literary heroes as my chess-pieces, exploring cultural influences through the ages and the ever-changing connection of man and god. The inevitable end to all things.... In reality its probably not That Deep but hey im having fun lmao

As for my grievances.... I feel like certain modern stories miss the original point of these myths. While yes, they're mystical and have some silly bits to 'em, they were used to explain the order of the world back in the day. Why are there seasons? Why do natural disasters happen? Why are we here? Where do we go when we die? What must we do to ensure a safe travel to the theoretical afterlife? Why do we have laws and civilization? But also, people seem to forget the underlying themes of a lot of these myths (esp greco-roman myths); these gods are nuanced like us mortals. While idols of worship, they are not spared from cruelity.

The Kidnapping of Persephone is not only a story of the seasons, but also a story about a mother's grief and the traumatic reality of young women being forced into marriage. Hades and Persephone isnt a good relationship, and its one of those things thats uncomfortable to see romanticized even with the creative liberties in place.

While I do take a lot of creative liberties, I do not want to erase specific meanings found in these myths. Specifically that mortals and gods are both equally flawed and neither are inherently perfect, and the relationships aren't always the healthiest really.

Despite my belief that humanity is inherently kind, that doesn't mean humanity isnt flawed or cruel yk yk?

I explore a lot of silly things with my silly little god ocs and I KNOW THIS PROBABLY ISNT WHAT YOU WERE ASKING FOR BUT YOU DIDNT NAME A SPECIFIC OC AND I GOT OVERWHELMED SO I TALKED ABOUT MY INSPIRATION BEHIND THEM FOR A BIT SORRY LMAO

[letmeoutofthebasementt]

whats also funny for me is with these younger groups i genuinely dont care what they get up too its more so that theres nothing else i like about music these days. the music i like aint been around for decades and if it is mentioned its usually mainly on tiktok and i hate tiktok so much.

if i could id take a time machine and go to any pre internet era just bc i think it was more lively and music back then was more in person not something you had to travel to see bc there was stuff occuring all over places now its usually in select places at select times and so u have to either physicslly take urself to the groups rather than the otherway around.

literally i wouldve suited even the 50s, there just more natural characters back then imho not that there arent now its mainly that a lot of idol groups esp the mainstream ones seem to have certain attributes they need to debut in the group itself whereas music back then was for anyone of any age of any musical talent could do it they didnt always have to be young. kpop overall seems quite restrictive it seems that even 20 years old is now too old for someone to debut which is quite shameful really. theyre still very imagery or conceptual based i think. i also dont like how on a lot of shows theyre very very scripted, skz are hilarious to watch bc they often break their characters or say something completely out of pocket

it just seems the younger they make these groups the more these groups are very moulded into something that isnt how they might want to be or act

it also makes me wonder if rn i had to show them something musically that it would never suit what they were looking for either, they seem to like soft cutesy girly things or members with particular features which is the opposite of ateez and skz. thats what draw me to some of these groups cause it wasnt typical yknow? but idk its still not quite the same vibe i get from listening to older music either cause thats more what im used too and theres just nothing else interesting me they couldnt even pay me to go see taylor swift either cause even she isnt my style. sorry for my ramble. it does make me laugh when they use foundation that is obvi not the right foundation shade so like their neck is darker than their overall face colour or they add those blue eye contacts bc thats my eye colour. i tend to prefer if they arent always perfect skin and perfectly dressed like if they just casual or natural in their non stage looks then i tend to find it more attractive. like the way san dresses in his vlives for example thats very simple but its attractive at the same time.

I’m already confused. What do you mean “You don’t have to travel to see them.” Do you think people just had Elvis come to THEM with no prior planning? I’m confused here. And if that was the case no kpop groups would be known in the west because they wouldn’t be performing in the west. They’d just have pop ups all over Korea that may or may not do well because there’s no planning and they’re just “coming to you.” No hate or anything, but that doesn’t really make much sense.

I agree that the KPOP industry is rather controlled, but there are some genuine and funny groups out there. And you seem to forget that it’s their job. Like any job you need to have rules and guidelines to follow to keep yourself from negatively impacting your company, coworkers, etc. like if Jay Park was in a group saying the stuff he said the company AND the group would suffer. They’re also probably not comfortable being 100% how they are behind closed doors in public for every stranger and their mother to see.

I do agree that they should debut older idols, which they do do occasionally, but I also understand why they don’t. They have more time to grow and mold the idols before they move on with their life. Before they marry and start families. The groups can grow together and become closer and not risk breaking up. The idols can become endearing to the public and the public can feel like they’re growing WITH the idols, which makes them stick around. The idols can become used to the industry as you learn better when you’re younger.

But I do agree there’s also a lot of issues with that.

I agree that, again, they should definitely not try and make them paler but that’s also the beauty standard? I’m not saying it’s okay, but it’s like how here in the west a lot of artists try and get tans and other things because that’s the standard over here.

I definitely know a lot of groups that aren’t really all…Bubblegum vibes. But at the same time, again, over there that’s what’s more popular and more socially acceptable. And it is K pop. Korean pop. So things are going to be different. But I do prefer groups that aren’t so bubblegum like you do.

And again, you’re forgetting they’re working. Most people don’t wear casual clothes and look…Imperfect to work. Especially when you’re under close scrutiny and any and everything you do could go viral and affect your career. And most idols DO dress down in lives, albeit they still try to look decent because, again, they ARE working. It’s their job. Their livelihood.

[cracka1604]

sand beneath my feet - C

hello, cracka again 2 days ago i went to the beach with my significant other i dont really want to go into detail or show pictures, as thats kinda the one part about my life i dont want people prying into. i just think it is to personal, i am sorry. though, it was fun, one day i hope we go to the beach again.

do you ever think about dying? like, actually. just think about it, imminent death, losing it all, and being powerless. its sad, isnt it? just really... *think*. everything you worked for, gone. i fear death, but sometimes i idolize it. death is such a double edged sword. when i die i will miss everyone dearly, my significant other and friends are the only thing i really live for. i appreciate you all.

this ending part has TW for suicide, drugs, rape, and pedophilia, please read with caution.

i have played a quite satirical game recently, although it had a very serious meaning behind it. the game was about a sociopathic teenager, who, in the first cutscene witnessed her father shoot himself after moving 7 schools and living with her mother who had just divorced him. she had since moved to a school riddled with (mostly) rapist students, and pedophilic teachers. the rest of the students mentioned are super weird, or drug addicts. the main character, is among the drug addicts and a large manipulator. she had quite literally convinced someone to jump off a roof and promptly kill himself 20 minutes later for her, and then goes on to vlog about it to great success. or 'accidentally' turns the entirety of said school into white supremacists and gets the school bombed. but thats beside the point, outside of this her life is quite sad. her mom is also a druggie, and an alcoholic. her brother is also a pedophilic, 26 year old, obese, freeloading piece of garbage. and her herself utterly hates school and everyone at it except for 2 or 3 people and constantly thinks about suicide. (hell, one of the endings she literally considers suicide as an alternative to all her problems at the time, being that she accidentally went all buddy buddy with everyone at school and doesnt feel like telling them to fuck off as she is 'too far to do it now' as 'everyone will just get super pissed and turn on me' and the player is given the option to carry this out (and her mother, quite sadly walks in on her bleeding out) ) i think this game is an interesting, although extremely satirical take on school systems and our fucked up government. i relate with it sometimes, its a very good game.

anyways, after that massive ted talk about how i love games that hate what turn the world took i'll head to bed, its literally 3 am for me right now lol cracka, out.

[grandhotelabyss]

Wait wasn't logo allways against Nietsche? What makes this rant unique? (Don't use twitter anymore so cant check it for myself) Still, I kinda get his position, there is that very anti-human bend of modern "nietschians", that allways have this misanthropic and mechanistic outlook, with everyone being just stupid and evil, which justifies their cruelty to them. And, because I am simmilar to logo, with being at the same time very emotioanl/moralistic while ironically being very logical, I just take the spite out in doing the whole "yes, and" thing from standup and turning the logic of nietsche back on the nietschieans - Aren't they the real last men? Just crying about the loss of traditions they only care for some abstract pragmatic value, allways whinning about the hypocrisy of the true alpha predator of the gendergoblin class of real overmen who actually are beyond morals - using them actually cynically to enforce their will of power - basically what I mean is that "the cold truth" is what exposes the absurdity of nietschianism - the aphex predator, the strong or better said "fit" isnt some homo-erotic ayan fantasy, some Aragorn photoshoped with blond hair blue eyes and sonnenrad on his shield, but the same "cockroaches" that they despise - as they are the only once surviving meteors and nuclear blasts that kills both the mighty dinosaurs and caesars, so are the "dysgenic woketards" the once that seize the day, the once that live like they would if they had to live again (cause thats the most optimised way to get power lol) Anyways, prolly should just put this all in my comic as a heavy handed illustrated didactic parabell, but till I get till that, this will do (or due? idk I cant spell in my mother tongue so english - no chance) Ofcourse, I know this is more than a vulgar way of making a charicature of nietsche, but maybe that is not so bad - cause that lets one get, what one means when they say "Nietsche is bad/stupid/midwit/propoganda". Still I will apreciate Nietsche for shitting on universitys, cause I felt so "validated" feeling the same while studying, one could really see how I was some loser with a tumblr account who writes questions anonomyosly on the off chance somebody will track this down lol

Yes, Nietzsche has to be read against himself, because all the biological stuff about eugenics that's in e.g. Twilight of the Idols is at odds with the other material about the shaping power of language in discourse and art (in "Truth and Lie" or The Birth of Tragedy), with the two strains confronting each other directly in The Genealogy of Morals, which I've recommended reading exactly backwards, so that the Jews and Christians are its heroes. Then there's also the very different Thus Spoke Zarathustra, which seems to me to lead to spiritual discipline and something like Jungian psychology. He's a suggestive, poetic writer interestingly and poignantly at war with himself, not a guide to life to be swallowed whole. His greatest legacy is the major modern writers he inspired. This is why I suggest thinking about him in a literary rather than philosophical lineage, alongside Goethe and Emerson and Joyce. But even he shrewdly warned his readers against going around calling themselves supermen and denouncing everybody else as last men in Zarathustra. He predicted how his own work would become for a certain type of alienated male its own bible of ressentiment.

Logo probably was always anti-Nietzschean, because, if I recall his "lore" properly, he's been under the influence of Groys and Kojève since his undergraduate days. Those men, however, are/were capable of confronting the heat-death of post-historical culture with a beatific bodhisattva smile. They would even be the types to welcome Nietzsche as the needed negative moment in the historical dialectic they so calmly diagnose and submit themselves to. I think. But I don't really care enough about philosophy to know for sure.

[beforethepoison]

2023 go to hell

I think 2023 was one of the most difficult years of my life. Like really. It's been very hard to deal with my mother, she is growing old, she is becoming a stubborn, she is becoming very reactive...Sometimes I feel stuck at home and I can't do things for me. I feel very dependent of her and she is now sometimes delegating some work for me instead of her doing by herself. (Like, answer her messages for her while she is driving), (like not making dinner but expecting me to clean the kitchen).. and this is not the worst thing....

In January of this year, I lost a friend of mine, a the donnaholic fan. She was the coolest girl ever. She passed away very young and I never could imagine she could die so early. Then, my idol Rita Lee has passed away, my idol Kaija Saariaho passed away.

In January a physio therapist very young asked what I was doing and I said I was a writter and she was like "do you carry your books in the bag?" and I said "no" and she was like..."I wanna see it. How you'll sell it if you dont carry with you?" and she spend days saying this. One day I brought to her the book. She took the book and said: Later on you tell me your pix (bank account). And I was like....??????? After a month, she didnt pay me and the service of my physio therapy was becoming poorly done. She changed her schedule and was no longer my therapist...And didnt pay me until I made a complaining in the company.

March: My dog died.

I started a job in a small restaurant with some jerky people. At the time, I didn't know they were jerks. I was supposed to be the attendent. The son of my boss "taught" me to use ONE phone to deliver people menu of the day. And I did my best but in the end of the day, his brother yelled at me indirectly because his brother didn't mention there was a SECOND phone I should look at. (a smartphone with app requests). When I told the boss that he didnt mention, she said..."If there is a phone there, you should look!" But I dont look at other people's phones without permission!

I got fired 2 days later. Received 80 $

Then, I met this influencer and he was very nice and in his social medias he asked for one of my books. I GAVE to him one of my books through mail and with a fast shipping. And after I sent to him, he asked again "where is my book?" and I was like "I Sent it to you" and after that he didnt say anything. I was very disappointed because I was expecting for him to read my book and he didnt even received or said anything. The book is lost.

I started to have weekly constipation intestine pains. Feeling I was gonna die... Until a couple weeks I was still having. I can't eat poorly.

Matthew Perry passed away. One of my biggest crushes and idols. I never cried so hard for a celebrity. For days.

Since november I don't have a cellphone. First, was my Samsung S8....Died after 5 years. And then my small phone of music only. My Samsung Galaxy whatever from 2013. Was my first modern cellphone. It only worked because I put alot of memory on it and alot of mp3 music. (There was no spotify back then). And now I dont have cellphone.... Because I dont have any money to buy a new one. Not even my mother. She has a crazy Xiaomi and doesnt work very well. (when you listen to music, it works one ear only). Today a friend of her gave her a 2013 phone for her to use but its old that I dont know if its going to work.

So, christmas there probably have no presents...And just meeting with family like okay.

PS: Its been a year since my crush moved out to another state. Not only a crush. a Great friend of mine. He has been so sweet to me. And he gave me THE BEST gift I could ever receive from someone. And thats why I feel a good thing about liking him. Because he is nice and he is gentle, generous. I am very lucky to have meet him. Very lucky. Very blessed. I am always afraid he will get tired of me. But I know that I won't be never tired of him. Thats what I am focus right now. Also, he taught me how love can be light and sweet. It just clean all my awful parents references. I am thankful for that too. Honestly, I HATE the fact he is away. And sometimes I'm afraid that I am feeling all these loving by myself. But its ok I guess.

So, no wonder I tried to k'1ll myself a couple times this year. I was always fetching a knive, putting against my belly or throat when I was alone. But some how I always gave up. I always stayed.