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chahnniesroom · 3 months

Text

some loves

pairing: bang chan x female reader

summary: some loves are too hard to bear. years after being trainees together, chan still thinks of you all the time. he has no idea that a collaboration would lead him back to you.

word count: 6.9k

tags/warnings: reader is an independent singer/songwriter, hurt/comfort, angst, mentions of past injuries, a little bit of jealousy, i am still in denial that chan doesn't do lives anymore, hongjoong from ateez is in this fic

read it on ao3 | masterlist

a/n: once again, sorry for the long time between posts. disclaimer that i do not know much about how the music/idol industry works and i did not really do much research. also i'm not an atiny so sorry if my portrayal of hongjoong is not realistic at all. also also i did a lot of the writing on a new tablet doing handwriting with a stylus to text so please forgive any typos or weird formatting! i didn't have a chance to edit much so i may have missed some things.

Chan’s in his studio when he gets the call. At first, he doesn’t even realise his phone is ringing. It’s 2am on a weekday and he’s been working away for a few hours so the rest of the world has just about faded into the background.

He’s both surprised and intrigued when he looks at the caller ID and sees Hongjoong’s name. Chan would consider Hongjoong to be a friend, but they’re not particularly close and he can’t think of a reason that would warrant this late night call.

“Hey hyung,” Hongjoong greets him briefly before getting straight to the point. “What’s your schedule like in the next few months?”

“It’s actually not too bad,” Chan replies after a moment of thought. “We’re just finalising all the music for the next album so it’ll be a bit of time before we get busy with recording and filming for the comeback. What’s up?”

“You don’t have the answer now and I don’t want you to feel any pressure at all, but would you be interested in doing a collab together?”

“A collab?” Chan repeats. “Like, ATEEZ and Stray Kids?”

“We could,” Hongjoong says reluctantly. “But actually, if you’re up for it then I was thinking more like just you and me. I have a couple tracks that we could work off of and I’ve roped in someone to help me with recording, engineering, and production.”

“Who?” Chan asks, interest piqued.

“Not sure if you’ve heard of them, they go by the name HALLA.”

Chan recognises the name instantly. When Chan had first stumbled upon HALLA one late night scrolling and listening to different independent artists, they seemed relatively unknown. However, a little research revealed that they had KOMCA credits on a number of songs for idol groups, some of which had become widely popular. Their personal work was a variety of genres and a majority of the tracks didn’t have vocals, but the ones that did had clever or thoughtful lyrics. There were a couple of different voices featured in the original songs, both of which were smooth and melodic. HALLA has a style that Chan thinks would complement Stray Kids and he’s considered reaching out to them a few times, but was always held back by something.

There was little about HALLA posted on the internet and while Chan definitely appreciates their privacy, he’s curious to meet the person behind all the songs that he enjoyed. There’s just something familiar about all their music that he can’t quite place, something that he wants more of.

“I’m in,” Chan agrees.

“You can take some time to think about it, talk to JYPE to see what their thoughts are too.”

“No need, I’m interested and I know I can convince management to support this.”

“Well that was easy,” Hongjoong says and Chan can basically hear him grinning through the phone. “And for my own pride, I’m going to pretend that you said yes the second I suggested the collab instead of when I mentioned HALLA-ssi.” Chan instantly flushes and is glad that Hongjoong can’t see him over the phone.

“It wasn’t-” Chan begins to protest.

“It’s okay,” Hongjoong interrupts. “I’m also pretty thrilled to get to work with them, so I understand. Didn’t realise you were familiar with their work, but I guess a hidden gem like them can’t stay hidden for long. I’ll send some files over to you and we can organise a time to work.”

—

Chan finds it easy to work with Hongjoong and they make quick progress on the song, writing lyrics and creating a guide within a couple of weeks. Before he knows it, they’ve scheduled a time for Chan to visit KQ Entertainment to record vocals. Hongjoong knows that Chan is keen to be involved in the production and arrangement of the song too, so they also have a couple sessions booked for that, although Hongjoong teases him relentlessly about just wanting to work with HALLA. The worst part is that Chan can’t even deny it.

Hongjoong meets him at the entrance of KQ Entertainment and quickly takes him through security.

“HALLA-ssi is already in the studio,” Hongjoong explains as they wait for the elevator to arrive. “I was getting input on a track that’s been killing me for the past few days.”

“Did they help?” Chan asks, a little surprised that HALLA is involved in more than just this collaboration. He still hasn't had a chance to connect with them other than quick introductions through text a couple of days ago and he's just as excited to meet them as initially.

“Yeah!” Hongjoong grins, eyes curving into little crescents. “HALLA-ssi is amazing. She only had listen to it a couple times before she came up with suggestions on a few different ways to fix the part that I hated. I left her to finish cleaning the song up and then it’s basically ready for review.”

“How did you start working with HALLA-ssi? I’ve been meaning to try to connect with her.”

“It was actually a friend that suggested working with her. For someone who isn’t signed with a label- which I don’t know how nobody has signed her yet- she’s surprisingly well connected within the industry. I’m sure that KQ would be more than happy to have her work with us, but when I hinted at that, she didn’t seem interested.”

“Really?” Although KQ Entertainment is still one of the smaller companies in the industry, most unsigned artists would still jump at the chance to work there since they have a good reputation, especially due to ATEEZ’s popularity.

“I haven’t poked too much, it’s not really my business. I thought I might as well try. I just know that she’s amazing at her job and I’m grateful that I get to work with her at all.”

They turn the corner to the hallway that leads to the recording studio. The door is ajar and Hongjoong opens it, waving his arm forward to allow Chan to walk through first, before following closely behind.

HALLA’s sitting at the desk and the second Chan sees her face, he stops in his tracks.

“Y/n,” Chan breathes.

You look up, startled, and your eyes connect for a split second before Hongjoong crashes into Chan, sending them both tumbling to the ground.

“Hyung,” Hongjoong complains, unaware of Chan’s inner turmoil. “Why’d you stop?”

Chan lets out an apologetic wheeze from where he’s now trapped under Hongjoong, before resting his forehead against the ground. He needs a second to recover.

It feels like a punch to the gut to see you in front of the recording studio’s computer, fiddling with a track. You look different, but somehow it feels like Chan has been transported right back to his trainee days and all that time that the two of you had spent side by side.

It has been years since Chan last saw you. He had found out that you had left JYPE just months after Stray Kids officially debuted, but all efforts to track you down had been futile. You had changed your number and broken contact with all the other trainees. He had asked around a little bit, but everyone he talked to had been unusually cagey about the subject.

Suddenly, everything makes more sense, especially the little that he knows about HALLA.

As trainees, Chan’s favourite moments had been when you had regaled him with stories of growing up on Jeju Island. The two of you had connected early on through your shared love of the ocean. You had promised him that if he ever went to visit in his free time, you would take him on the best trails up to the Hallasan, the shield volcano, and show him incredible views from the highest point on the island. Occasionally, your parents would send you care packages and the two of you would open them hidden away in one of the vocal practice rooms, the sweet citrus of hallabong exploding in your mouths.

You had always spoken about Jeju Island so fondly, of course you would find a way to indirectly pay homage through the stage name that you chose.

“Oppa,” your voice rings out in the silence of the room. Now, Chan knows why the female voice on some of HALLA’s songs had always seemed hauntingly familiar. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” both Chan and Hongjoong say at the same time, then make eye contact with identical confused expressions.

“Hongjoong-ssi, you didn’t mention that the person you wanted to feature on the track was Channie-oppa,” you say, making it clear who you were addressing your concern to earlier.

“It was supposed to be a surprise!” Hongjoong gets up slowly, dusting off his clothes and scratching at the back of his head, still looking bewildered. “I had no idea that you two knew each other, hyung mentioned he hadn’t worked with you before.”

Chan stays quiet, not sure how much you’re willing to share. Hongjoong must not know about your time with JYPE if he can’t piece together how the two of you could have met.

“Oh- I used to- We trained together back in the day,” you explain sheepishly. “I was with JYPE for a little while and all the trainees knew who Channie-oppa was. That was a long time ago though, I didn’t use the name HALLA back then.”

The five years that you trained at JYPE are more than a little while, but Chan forces himself to bite his tongue at your deliberate understatement. You don’t elaborate further and while it’s obvious that Hongjoong isn’t satisfied with your answer, he’s willing to drop the topic for now. You look relieved when he switches the subject to the song.

The three of you finish recording quickly. It shouldn’t be a surprise, the work so far with Hongjoong has been smooth so adding you to the mix has just made things easier, but Chan knows he’s a perfectionist and it often takes him an almost embarrassing number of takes before he’s satisfied. The only delay comes when Hongjoong decides he wants you to sing some of the backing vocals and resorts to actually getting on his knees and begging. Chan doesn’t go so far, but he can’t help but agree that your voice blends with the song perfectly. Of course, he also just wants to hear you sing.

You relent when Chan quietly voices his agreement and it really shouldn't make Chan feel as smug as it does.

It’s not even early enough for dinner when things are wrapped up. Chan is usually eager to finish a schedule early, but he’s reluctant to leave, taking his time packing up his belongings.

Finally, he doesn’t have a reason to stay any longer so he musters up the courage to ask.

“Do you guys want to go grab some coffee or something to eat?”

You and Hongjoong make eye contact before turning to look at Chan guiltily. His stomach churns for some reason.

“I’m sorry,” you wince. “I actually promised to help Hongjoong-ssi with an ATEEZ song and we need to go over the edits that I made before his meeting with the company later today.”

“Oh,” Chan replies, feeling a little relieved. “Right, no yeah I get it. Hongjoong actually mentioned that earlier, but I forgot. My bad.”

You offer an apologetic smile before turning to the computer, opening up a file.

“I’ll see you guys next time, then,” Chan says, starting to back out of the room.

“Of course! Thank you for your hard work and good job today!” you say brightly. Looking distracted, Hongjoong mumbles an agreement and waves goodbye. Unlike you, he’s not staring at the computer monitor though. Instead, his focus is solely on you. Even from his side profile, Chan can tell that he’s enamoured.

Honestly, Chan can’t really blame him, you look comfortable and confident, swallowed up in an oversized hoodie as you start explaining the alterations that you made to the track. Your voice is calm, but warm and you’re careful to start off by complimenting the work that Hongjoong had done previously.

Chan leaves, resolutely ignoring the twisted feeling that’s back with a vengeance and any thoughts of what the cause might be.

—

Chan can’t sleep. His thoughts are all about you, what you’ve been doing the past few years, what happened to you at JYPE that made you leave, and mostly trying to remember how and why your relationship with him slowly fell apart.

That’s the hardest part. In the darkest time of his life, when Chan had been discouraged and disheartened, you had joined JYPE with a brightness and enthusiasm that gave Chan the motivation to continue being a trainee. He had adored you. He still does.

In those last few months before the survival show had been filmed, Chan’s relationship with you had gone from being everything to nothing. It happened in the blink of an eye, and Chan had never understood what caused you to withdraw so quickly and thoroughly. The two of you had gone from spending almost all of your free time together to you avoiding him at the company, pretending not to hear when he called out your name or tried to get your attention.

The regret of letting you slip away has always eaten away at him, but now more than ever.

Of course, at the time it hadn’t felt so simple. The survival show was Chan’s first serious chance to debut, and not just that, but the weight of having eight other people’s careers depending on his leadership took a toll on all his other relationships. Your absence in his life still hurt, but Chan had lots of practice losing people. He had coped in the way that worked best in the past, throwing himself headlong into producing, training, anything to keep himself from wallowing in his feelings.

Chan doesn’t have any schedules for today, but he still heads to the company. He knows this isn’t the healthiest way to deal with things, but he doesn’t know anything else.

When he arrives, Chan just barely manages to catch a glimpse of a few familiar faces. He calls out before he can think better of it, jogging slightly to catch up. Sana, Momo, and Mina watch curiously as he approaches. He knows that Twice also aren’t in a busy period of the year, so he doesn’t feel guilty delaying them.

“Sorry to bother you all. Sana-noona, I was just wondering if we could chat?”

Sana makes brief eye contact with the rest of the girls before agreeing and waving them to go ahead of her. She follows behind Chan as he leads them into his studio, clearly interested in determining the reason behind this atypical meet up.

“What’s up, Channie?” she asks once the door is closed behind them.

Chan tries to think of the best way to start, not wanting to just outright ask, but not knowing how to subtly steer the conversation into the right direction. Finally, he abandons trying to be casual and just blurts out, “Do you remember Y/n?”

“Of course I do,” Sana says, sounding amused at the sudden mention of you. “You both had reputations for being veteran trainees. I mean, other than Jihyo.”

“I was always surprised that she never debuted,” Chan admits. “I just thought it would happen eventually and I was so shocked to find out that she had left. I didn’t- I don’t understand why she gave up on something she wanted so badly.”

“Give up?” Sana asks, sounding like she’s offended on your behalf. “Why would you say it like that?”

“What do you mean? It was like she was there one day and gone the next, I just assumed that she had enough and quit. Nobody seemed to know anything about it. I never found out why and it’s been kind of killing me.”

“You didn’t hear what happened?”

“What- something happened? To her?” Chan swallows hard, suddenly feeling unwell.

“It- I thought that you of all people would know-”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, but- you never talked to her about it? You knew her better than any of us.”

“Noona, I didn’t know that she was gone until months later. She obviously didn’t want to talk about it to me, I never reached out at first. When I finally did, her number had been changed. What was I supposed to do?”

“I- It’s better if you were to hear it from her. I don’t know the full story and you know how things can be distorted through gossip. And you especially must know how dangerous that can be.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You really have no clue? The two of you were inseparable…”

“Please,” Chan pleads.

“You know how it is in the industry, you were so close, of course there were rumours…”

It suddenly clicks.

“But we were just friends! And the dating ban-”

“Chan, you know nobody actually sticks to those, right?”

“But really, we were never-”

“I believe you,” Sana says, carefully. “But you know that to management that it doesn’t really matter whether or not anything was actually going on. To them it’s all about the optics. A perceived relationship is just as dangerous as an actual one.”

“Management…” Chan repeats, his mind racing. “They never mentioned anything to me though.”

“You never found it suspicious? You two are extremely close and out of the blue she suddenly stops talking to you, then right after the two of you stop hanging out, you’re chosen for the survival show? Someone must have talked to her at some point. Maybe not management, but for sure someone.”

“You think that’s why it took so long for me to debut?” Chan asks, even though he already knows the answer.

“It was a liability,” Sana explains. “To have a dating scandal so early on? Neither of your careers would survive. It’s painful and a terrible part of the industry but it’s true.”

“And.. Why she left, you know about that too?” Chan pleads.

“I think I’ve said too much already. I know that it’s hard, but some things are really personal.” She pauses for a moment. “What brought this on, anyway? You haven’t mentioned Y/nnie in years.”

“I can’t say much, but I- I saw her today, got to talk to her, found out what she’s been up to.” Sana gasps. Chan continues. “It was so weird to see her after so long. In the back of my mind, I had always wondered, but…”

“I’m glad that you two got to reconnect,” Sana says gently. “The two of you cared about each other a lot, that much was obvious. Talk to her, I think at the very least you’ll be able to find peace about what happened.”

“Noona-” Chan reaches out and pulls Sana into a tight hug. “Thank you for telling me. I appreciate it.”

“Of course. I’m sorry that it took so long for you to find out.”

—

A few days later, Hongjoong schedules another session to work on the song. Leading up to it, Chan is both looking forward to it and nervous, not sure what to expect. Although he still really wants to know what happened to you all those years ago, he’s scared about what he might learn and any part he might have had in it.

After a sleepless night, he ends up arriving almost 15 minutes early. This time, Hongjoong isn’t waiting at the building’s entrance. Instead he had let him know a few days before that Chan could just sign himself in and had sent him the name and location of the studio that was booked. When Chan reaches it, he can make out conversation from inside.

“HALLA,” Hongjoong can be heard through the studio doors, which aren’t fully shut. His tone is petulant and much more casual than it was previously. Chan wonders how much time the two of you have spent together between then and now and he almost misses the next thing that Hongjoong says. “You never told me that you were a trainee before.”

That stops Chan in his tracks, interested in how you’ll respond.

“It was a long time ago.” Your voice is faint. You’re still nice, but Chan can tell that your voice is stiffer than usual. “It doesn’t really matter now.”

This time, Hongjoong doesn’t let it go.

“What happened?” he prods.

“Just drop it,” you warn him. “It’s the past, forget I told you in the first place. Nothing ever came of it anyway.”

“Y/n-” Hongjoong changes tactics, the nagging tone replaced with a quieter, more serious one. You sigh.

“It didn’t work out. Obviously. I’m just not idol material.”

“Oh come on, I don’t believe that for a second. Your producing is good enough that I know for sure you’ve been getting offers to work with more companies than just KQ. When you direct during recording, you can hit every note without any warm up or practice. And I’ve heard your original songs, you must have been considered for both the position of lead rapper and lead singer as a trainee because there’s no way that anybody would let your talent go to waste.” Hongjoong is breathing hard by the end of his rant and Chan can see that this is something that has been bothering him for a while.

“It’s okay, Hongjoong-oppa.” Your voice is gentle, like you’re trying to comfort him. “I’m happy with what I have right now. Really. I’m grateful for all the freedom I have. Getting to work on any project I want and experiment with my music without having to deal with the bureaucracy and politics of the industry? Having that independence is precious to me. I wanted to be an idol for a long long time. But even though that specific plan I had didn’t work out, it doesn’t mean I’m not happy with what I’m doing.”

Hongjoong stays quiet for a while.

“Do you think that if you had the opportunity to debut as an idol now, you would?” he finally asks.

“Oppa, it’s not possible. I can’t dance, I’m too old-” you protest.

“No no, just hypothetically. Like if someone walked into the room and handed you a contract and said that if you signed it in an hour then you’d be able to debut.”

“I- I don’t know.”

“What’s your gut feeling?”

“I think I left that dream behind, I don’t know if I want to go down that path again. I don’t think I have it in me.”

“I’m sorry,” Hongjoong says after another pause. “I shouldn’t have questioned you so much, you shouldn’t have to justify your decisions to me.”

“No, it’s fine. It seems strange, right? For me to be an artist in Seoul and not want to get signed, it's only natural for you to be curious. But I learned a lot when I was a trainee and I learned even more after that and I can say with certainty that this is what I want.”

Chan takes that opportunity to knock on the studio door and push it open.

“Hey, hope I’m not interrupting,” he says, as if he wasn’t just eavesdropping on their conversation and purposely chose when to cut in. “Sorry, I’m a little bit late.”

“Hey, no problem man,” Hongjoong says. “We haven’t had a chance to do anything yet, so you’re right on time.”

“Good to see you,” you chime in. “I think this should be pretty quick so let’s get started!”

As you predicted, it doesn’t take long before a majority of the song is finished. Normally, Chan would be keen to stay involved until the very last detail is finalised, but he trusts you and at the end of this day, it’s Hongjoong’s song so he’s happy to give him the final say.

At the end of the session, Chan once again uses the opportunity to try to catch you alone. The two of you are side by side, packing your bags and Chan asks if you have any plans for the rest of the day. You confirm that you're available and Chan is about to suggest that the two of you take the time to catch up when Hongjoong interrupts.

“Oh, Y/n-ah,” he says. “I was actually hoping to get your input on something and I didn’t have a chance to ask you earlier. Can you please stick around for a bit? Sorry, hyung.”

Hongjoong sounds so sincere that Chan almost doesn’t feel annoyed that he’s stealing all of your time and attention. Almost, because at the end of the day, Chan’s only human. Even though he knows he has no right to feel possessive over you, he can’t stop the petty jealousy that bubbles up inside of him. At this point, there’s no denying the emotion.

Just like the previous session, he leaves alone, heading directly to the studio. Hours later, his breath catches when he checks his phone and sees that you’ve texted him.

[Received - 8:04pm]

Channie-oppa~

[Received - 8:04pm]

This is Y/nnie

[Received - 8:05pm]

Sorry about earlier, I have a contract with KQ Entertainment and work comes first :/

[Received - 8:09pm]

But I’m free now! You still interested in catching up?

Chan stares at the messages until it feels like they’re burned into his retinas. Logically, he knew that you had his number, the two of you were in a group chat that Hongjoong had set up, but this was your first time messaging him privately. The first time you had reached out in years. A precious opportunity that he never thought that he would have. He doesn’t want to mess this up.

He’s also shocked to see you texting so casually. Although the two of you have been comfortable in person, he wasn’t sure that it would translate to one-on-one conversation.

[Sent - 8:10pm]

Hey Y/n!

[Sent - 8:11pm]

No worries at all, I understand. I’m the same way too

[Sent - 8:13pm]

I still wanna meet up… but I’m all the way back in Gangdong-gu 😅 It’d be a bit of a trek for you if you're still at KQ

[Received - 8:13pm]

Gangdong-gu?

[Received - 8:14pm]

Ohh JYPE

[Received - 8:14pm]

My bad, forgot that you guys moved

[Sent - 8:15pm]

Yeahhh

[Sent - 8:15pm]

Headed straight back to the company after we were done, sorry

[Received - 8:18pm]

Well… If you’re willing to wait then I don’t mind. KQ is close to a metro station anyway

[Sent - 8:18pm]

Wait, really?

[Sent - 8:18pm]

No no no, don’t take the subway

[Sent - 8:18pm]

I’ll send a driver. They’re gonna pick you up in 20 min

[Received - 8:19pm]

Wowow

[Received - 8:19pm]

Private driver?

[Received - 8:20pm]

You’re a real superstar now haha

[Sent - 8:21pm]

alsfjshkafs noooooooo

[Sent - 8:21pm]

It’s just faster

[Sent - 8:21pm]

and safer

[Received - 8:22pm]

I’m not complaining

[Received - 8:22pm]

but I’m going to get your autograph when I see you

[Received - 8:23pm]

If I sell it then I can probably afford my own private driver 🤭

[Sent - 8:24pm]

Knew it

[Sent - 8:25pm]

You’re just using me for my fame

[Received - 8:26pm]

Ah you got me this time

[Received - 8:26pm]

*Your fame, your talent, and your good looks

[Received - 8:27pm]

Even tho you were the one that said you wanted to meet up

[Received - 8:27pm]

Hmmm maybe you’re the one using me?

Chan listens to his phone as it continues to vibrate from where it’s lodged in between two of the couch cushions after he threw it across to the opposite side of the room. His face is buried in his hands and flaming red. He feels both giddy and terribly embarrassed.

Chan’s no stranger to flirting, he’s experienced his fair share being on either side through interactions with the members and with Stay, but he forgot how flustered he was being on the receiving end of your teasing. The part he never understood is that your playful tone always gave way to sincerity. Even when the two of you would joke around, he could always tell that you meant every comment that you made about Chan being talented or attractive and that flattered him almost as much as it baffled him.

[Received - 8:32pm]

?? Speechless that I caught on?

[Received - 8:36pm]

I think your driver has arrived… Otherwise I’m being kidnapped

[Received - 8:40pm]

Don’t think I would survive a horror film… I got into the car with no questions asked

[Received - 8:42pm]

It was nice knowing you I guess

When he realises how much time has passed, Chan grabs his phone and runs down to the back entrance of the company. Luckily you haven’t arrived yet and he takes the time to reply to your messages.

[Sent - 8:53pm]

Sorry, lost track of time

[Sent - 8:53pm]

They’ll drop you off at the back door, I’ll meet you there so you don’t have to get signed in or anything

[Received - 8:54pm]

Don’t think you’re getting away with ignoring my other texts

[Received - 8:55pm]

But thanks

[Received - 8:55pm]

Is this back door, the famous one that only allows in authorised people?

[Received - 8:55pm]

I’m honoured

Chan rolls his eyes at your cheesy reference and is in the middle of typing up a response when he sees the car pull up. You step out cautiously, then brighten when you see where Chan’s propping up the door.

“Hey,” Chan greets you. “Glad that you made it safely.”

“Thanks for the ride,” you say, looking around curiously as Chan leads you to an elevator that takes you to the rest of the building. “So this is the new and improved JYP Entertainment. I’d say that it looks the same as before, but I never got the chance to come in.”

“Yeah,” Chan says, rubbing a hand against the back of his neck as he walks. “I mean it’s pretty nice, but at the end of the day a practice room is a practice room and that’s where we spend most of our time.”

“Hmm I think we might have to agree to disagree on that one. You have your own studio don’t you?”

“Ah, kind of. It’s technically a shared one, but practically I’m the only one that uses it unless we’re out of the country for a long time,” Chan confirms.

“Seems a lot better than what we used to have! Do you remember when we used to cram ourselves into that tiny room that barely even fit two chairs and a table?”

“I almost forgot about that, it was so terrible! In the summer it would get so hot that we’d keep the door open-”

“And then someone would come yell at us because we’d be playing music too loud-”

“I remember begging management to install a portable air conditioner on multiple occasions, but they always refused.”

“Of course! Even if they weren’t so stingy, there weren’t any windows leading outside in there, how could they install it?”

“Is that why? I always thought they just wanted us to suffer.”

“That too,” you giggle for a moment, before your smile fades. “But they weren’t totally unreasonable. Management has a different perspective than us, sometimes they know better than us because of their understanding of the industry. They can see things that we don’t.”

It’s clear that you’re no longer talking about air conditioning anymore. A lump seems to have formed in Chan’s throat when he recalls his conversation with Sana. Luckily, the two of you have just arrived and Chan forces himself to smile.

“We’re here,” he says, opening the door and motioning for you to enter ahead of him. “Welcome to Channie’s Room!”

“It’s cute!” you say as you step in. “Very… neat. It’s actually more spacious than it looks.”

“Oh,” Chan says, faltering in his steps for a second. “You- you’ve seen my studio?”

“In case you didn’t realise, you go live every week from said studio. I think at this point everyone in the K-pop industry and every K-pop fan has seen it,” you tease.

“Right, yeah. I didn’t- I wasn’t sure how much you kept up with that kind of stuff,” Chan stammers.

“K-pop or do you mean specifically Stray Kids?” you ask, tilting your head slightly.

“Either I guess," Chan shrugs.

"I will admit that it took me a while to get back into it," you say slowly. "I wasn't... in the best mindset after I left." Chan stays quiet, sensing that you're not quite finished. "I know that I disappeared and I am sorry for not reaching out. I wanted to, but I also didn't know how. I know that I hurt you. That it was cruel to avoid you, not reply to your messages, ignore your calls. I had my reasons why, but it doesn't excuse the pain that I caused, and I'm sorry for that too."

“I think,” Chan swallows hard. “I think that the most difficult part was that for the longest time, I didn’t know why. I didn’t know what I did wrong. I asked Sana about it finally, after I saw you again. And I just felt so stupid to realise that it was obvious to everyone except me."

“I’m sorry,” you say again. “I wanted to tell you, of course I wanted to. But I also knew you. If I had told you that us being together was preventing your debut-”

“I wouldn’t have cared,” Chan finishes your sentence for you, starting to understand. “I would have done anything to keep you by my side.”

"Even if it meant throwing away your career," you say softly. "I couldn't let you do that to yourself. You worked so hard, how could I live with being the reason that you were stuck in the training rooms? You belong on stage, making music.”

"The part that I still don’t get though is why you left? You should have been able to debut as well, I know it."

“Ah,” you say wistfully. You look around and grab onto the pillow that’s on the couch beside you, fidgeting with it as you figure out what to say next. “You know, I actually was supposed to debut.”

“What? How come I never heard about it?” Chan feels a pang in his chest. All these years ago, the two of you had promised that the other would be the first person that they would tell if they ever found out that they had the chance to debut. It seemed that neither of them had kept their promise.

“It was supposed to be a secret project. JYP wanted to see how successful a surprise debut announcement would be. You should have seen the NDAs that they made us sign.” You shake your head, letting out a huff of air. “It turned out to be a good decision because it meant they could cancel it without anyone knowing that we existed in the first place.”

"Who was in the group?" Chan asks.

"There were five of us. I think you know all of them, Sumin, Ryujin, Sojin, and Hyowon," you list. You're right, Chan is either familiar with or has heard of all the girls that you mention. It doesn't make sense though, the group was filled with talented individuals and Chan can't think of any reason strong enough to lead to disbandment. Even more baffling is that of the five of you, only Ryujin ended up staying at the company long enough to join the lineup for another group.

"And they just cancelled it out of nowhere?"

“No... It was- I know that for any idol, preparing for debut is tough, but I think that in some ways, it’s especially brutal for the girl groups," you say instead. Chan doesn't question you further, knowing that you must have a point that you're trying to make.

“How so?” Chan has an idea, he’s seen what the female trainees went through, the differences in how they were evaluated and criticised. But he wants to hear it from you, wants to understand what you’ve been through.

“The visual aspect feels like it’s more heavily emphasised than our talent or skills. We were measured for our music video outfits the second they finalised the concept. It was really early on, but at the time I thought it was so exciting and fun that I didn’t question it. I think that all of us were so thrilled by the thought of debuting that we didn't think anything of it. We did our final fittings for it a few weeks before filming and they had made them all a size too small, everything was just a little bit too tight. They didn’t outright say it, but it was implied that they weren’t going to alter them. It was a choice to lose weight or our chance to debut was gone. We were devastated and angry and eventually just resigned. If that's what it took then I would do it. We dieted like crazy for the time leading up to filming,” you laugh, but it's in disbelief, the sound is hollow.

Paired with what you’re saying, it makes Chan want to burn the whole world down. He doesn't say anything, not sure if he can even open his mouth without letting his rage escape, something that you don't deserve.

“We were practising, like always," you continue. "There was a tricky step that needed to be fixed by the next day when we’d be recording, a flip that we hadn't quite mastered. I was the smallest one on the team, so I was the one being flipped. It must have been like 3 or 4 in the morning, we were all tired, hungry, and nervous about filming. Honestly, I don't quite remember what happened, it was all a blur. There was just this feeling that something went wrong and then pain."

You roll up the pants on your left leg and show off the skin there. Chan has to hold back a gasp at the sight. Even though it’s long healed, the scarring is extensive and obvious. Chan can't imagine how much it must have hurt.

“I broke my ankle in two places and sprained my wrist. I couldn't believe it, five years of my life just gone in an instant. It took months before I could walk and even longer before I could dance again. Even now, I can't dance anywhere close to the way that I used to," you say with a watery smile. “Sojinnie had a concussion from the fall and Suminnie dislocated her shoulder, I must have knocked into them or fallen onto them or something. What could we do? Three out of the five of us were out of commission, there was no time and no budget for a group that hadn’t even debuted to find replacements or re-record and re-film everything. I woke up after surgery and they told me that they were sorry, but my contract with the company was over. That someone had helped me pack up all my things in the dorm. I went back to Jeju-do as soon as I was released from the hospital.”

"I- I'm sorry that I didn't know," Chan says, clearing his throat roughly when his voice breaks partway through the sentence. " I wish that I could have been there, to help or comfort you. I should have-"

"Oppa," you respond gently. "It's okay. I didn't tell anybody what happened and the company also kept things quiet. I'm glad you didn't find out at the time. You had other, more important things to focus on, I didn't want to distract you from that."

"You're not a distraction," Chan says incredulously. "You're important to me, I would have dropped everything to be with you in such a difficult time."

"And that's exactly why I couldn't tell you. You've always been too good to me, Channie-oppa," you sniffle. "Look at you now! I'm so always proud when I think of how far you've come."

Chan lifts a trembling hand and carefully cups your face, using his thumb to wipe away a tear that has started making its way down your cheek. He hears your breathing hitch, but you don't object to his touch. If anything, you melt into it.

Chan takes the opportunity to wrap his arms around you, bringing you close. The gesture breaks the dam of tears that you must have been holding back. Chan rocks the two of you back and forth gently, just letting you cry and trying to surreptitiously wipe away his own tears. It takes a few minutes before you calm, taking huge shuddering breaths that break Chan's heart almost as much as your sobs had.

"I'm sorry," you say with a voice thick with emotion.

"Hey, no," Chan reassures you. "There's no need to apologise. Are you feeling better now?"

You nod slowly, head still pressed against Chan's chest.

"I think- I think I just missed you. I always thought it would get easier, not having you in my life, but it never did."

At your words, Chan can't help his arms from tightening, squeezing you close.

"I finally found you again," he says. "And this time, I promise that I won't ever let you go."

read it on ao3 | masterlist

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streetlight11 · 2 months

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Love You For Eternity

Summary: Having a best friend is one of the best things in life. For you, it was him. He was your best friend, your partner in crime, your shoulder to cry on, your happiness, your soulmate, your eternity, your absolute everything...

Theme: childhood friends au, best friends to lovers

Genre: very fluffy

Warnings: mentions of being cheated on

WC: 3.4k

Pairing: Bang Chan x Fem!Reader

a/n: Hello! I was listening to Chan's recent SKZ RECORD 'Eternity' and the lyrics is so sweet that I got the inspiration to write this. I hope you enjoy this fic and let me know if there's any mistakes or things need to be improved! Enjoy ✨

There’s a popular phrase which most people could relate to and it goes like so; ‘People often come and go in your life, but the right ones will always stay’.

Throughout your whole life, you’ve had many friends. But at the end of the day, not many stayed. You can literally count with your fingers the amount of friends you had left who were the really close ones. And of all the close friends you had left, one of them meant the world to you. Nobody could ever replace him and nobody could ever make you feel the way he does.

You met him back in kindergarten when you were both at the age of 5. You were in the second form class, he was in the first form class. Everyday, you would only see him during play time because that is where both your classes would be brought to the playroom a few doors down from your classroom for an hour. Usually, you never liked to mingle or make new friends outside of your class simply because you’re a timid little girl. However, on that one unfortunate day is when you first interacted with him.

It was a Tuesday afternoon, where your teachers were preparing to bring you to the playroom. You were partnered with your best friend Mikayla for the short walk. When you made it to the playroom, the students from the other class were already there which means your class made it there just a tad later than them. Once you were all given the permission to go inside and play around for an hour, you began to head towards the slide with Mikayla. At one point, you were playing catch with her when you accidentally slipped and fell.

Hitting your chin onto the foam mat with a strong impact which left you crying. Not long after, a teacher came and carefully brought you to the side as she then hugged you to calm you down. She was sitting on the ground with you in her lap, burying your face in her shoulder while you cried. She rubbed your back soothingly as she said comforting words to you. Just then, you felt someone gently pat your head so you lifted your head up. That’s when you locked eyes with a boy with sparkly eyes. He looked concerned but then he smiled at you.

You held eye contact with him for a while as he gently patted your back to comfort you. Your teacher then asked if you had any injuries, she checked your mouth to see if you accidentally chipped a tooth or bit your lip or what not but it seemed like none of that happened. So she told you to sit here and rest if you wanted to, in which you agreed.

She got up to monitor the other kids while you sat there wiping your tears away. The boy from earlier sat down next to you as he flashes you an adorable smile.

“Is it still painful?” He asked.

“A little.” You quietly said and he nodded.

“My name is Chris. What is your name?”

“My name is Y/N.”

“Let’s be friends.” He said so you smiled. And that was the start of your friendship with him.

As the years go by, you went to the same schools which you also ended up being classmates through the entire years of school. Chris had many friends growing up but some of them come and go. On the other hand, you are never going anywhere and he won’t let you. The sad thing was, on the day of your high school graduation, he told you that he was leaving the country to go study in an overseas college which you dreaded so much.

You and Chris were like two peas in a pod.

Wherever one goes, the other will follow.

So to hear that he would be thousands of miles away, made you feel sad and uneasy. He told you that he will keep in touch with you every single day as if he never left but deep down, you knew it felt different.

Nevertheless, you weren’t going to stop him from going just because you want him close to you all the time. Which is why when he was supposed to leave, you sent him off at the airport together with your family and his. You promised him that you will look after his parents, Hannah, Lucas and Berry while he’s gone which he very much appreciates. After he had entered the departure hall and had gone further in, you sighed as his mother came over to give you a warm hug. She comforts you telling you that it was okay. You thanked her genuinely, only for Hannah to speak up.

“Since my older brother’s gone now, does that mean you’re my new older sister to replace him?” She asks cheekily, making you laugh.

“I’d love to.” You said as they all laughed.

Years soon went by and you were happy in college. Although you do still keep in contact with Chris every week, it wasn’t a secret that you miss him harder with every day that passes by.

Despite him being miles and miles away, you still keep him updated about almost everything that’s going on in your life. From school to friends to activities and even to dating and hookups. He would also tell you things that are happening in his life whenever you would facetime or even through texts. It’s interesting to hear how similar yet also different your lives were in both countries.

It’s been 4 years since you last saw him in person and today was the day you would be graduating from college. Your parents came down for your graduation ceremony as guests with the tickets you got for them so that they could enter the hall. The whole ceremony went perfectly as you collected your certificate on stage without embarrassing yourself. After the whole ceremony was over, it was time to leave the hall either for the buffet, for photo taking with your family and friends or to head home.

You met up with your family as they brought you to a corner where it wasn’t too crowded. Some of your friends came down to give you flowers and celebrate your graduation together which was really sweet. You were just taking pictures with your best friend as your younger brother was your photographer when someone tapped your shoulder. You turned around thinking it was a random student or a stranger but you were wrong. As soon as you turn around, your smile drops and you freeze from an immense amount of shock.

Standing in front of you now was Chris.

Who was wearing a white button down shirt, denim jeans and a pair of sneakers. He grins at you whilst holding a bouquet of your favourite blue roses with baby's breath flowers around it.

“Hey.” He chuckles adorably and you seem to have lost your words.

“Is it really you?” You asked in denial, making him laugh.

“Do you wanna check if I’m real?” He laughs again. This time, you bent down to put everything down on the ground before throwing yourself on him. Your arms wrapped around his shoulders while you buried your face in his neck. Chris laughs at your reaction but still wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you closer to him. You started tearing up and he felt it.

“Oi! Stop crying! You’re gonna ruin your pretty makeup!” Chris teasingly raises his voice at you as he pulls away. Everyone around you laughed at how funny and cute you were. Chris then took the tissue that your mother held for him to take as he wipes your tears away.

After a few more minutes, you finally took pictures with him for memories of your graduation. Once everything was settled, you thanked your friends for coming and they congratulated you once again before leaving. Meanwhile, Chris stayed upon getting an invite from your parents to go grab some dinner with your family which he agreed to. As you all began to walk out of the place, you walked with Chris behind your family. You turned to get a good look at him and he laughed.

“What? You still can’t believe I’m here?” He asks.

“Uh? Duh! You told me you couldn’t come to my graduation because of your own graduation!” You scolded him as you gently punched his arm.

“Well obviously I had to lie? I didn’t wanna ruin my surprise!” He said casually, earning a scoff from you.

“Kudos to you for pulling it off then.” You smiled at him as he ruffled your hair playfully. Dinner was nice and he told your family about his plans now that he’s graduated college. He said that he’ll be moving back here in a month's time and so you got happy.

And that was exactly what he did.

As each year went by, your friendship with Chris kept growing stronger and stronger now that he’s physically back here with you. Every guy you went on a date with, could never reach your expectations simply because of how high your best friend has set the bar for you. From a certain perspective, it might seem ridiculous and overrated. But on some perspective, it was set on a level where you realised that that is how you deserve to be treated. With the past dates and failed relationships you’ve had over the last decade, it made you realise how low and shitty those guys have ever made you feel.

It even got to a point where you were giving up on finding someone who could barely treat you right. Until that one night where you came to Chris’ apartment door crying after your boyfriend of 2 years broke up with you when you found him cheating on you.

He didn’t expect to see you there but he knew you needed him at that moment. So instead of letting you cry and calm down on your own, he brought you to his room and led you to his bed. He laid with you in bed, his blanket covering both your bodies as you cried onto his chest and he comfortingly caressed your head. You took at least 10 minutes to finally stop crying and calm down but he was so patient with you. Ever since then, you stopped going on dates to avoid getting your heart broken again. And all this time, Chris was right there next to you.

It’s been months since your break up and you’ve healed from it, not to mention moved on.

It was a Friday evening and Chris asked if you wanted to hang out at his place. You agreed easily to it considering he was your best friend.

When you arrived at his apartment, he greeted you at the door with just a cosy pair of sweatpants. You’ve seen him shirtless a couple times so it’s pretty normal for you by now. The only problem is, you find it harder and harder to keep your emotions hidden every single time mainly because of how much he’s changed over the years.

Mind you, this was the same Christopher who comforted you when you fell on your chin in preschool. So when he caught you glancing down at his abs briefly, he smirked teasingly whilst saying, “Do you like what you see?”

“Ew! Shut up!” You laughed, shoving his shoulders lightly and he chuckled.

“Oh what? You’re shy now?” He asked teasingly which made you scowl at him.

“Christopher Bahng, I swear-”

“Okay! Okay, I’ll stop.” He says with a cheeky smile. You rolled your eyes at him but the smile growing on your face, quickly betrayed you.

You hung out with him that night, quickly losing track of time even though you weren’t really doing anything significant other than watching movies, chatting, gossiping and snacking. It was already a quarter past midnight but you weren’t planning to head home anytime soon. He was sitting next to you, scrolling through the movies on netflix when an idea struck you.

“Hey, are you tired?” You asked.

“Nope. Why?” Chris asks without turning to you.

“Wanna go for a little walk?” You asked as he finally turned to you with an amused smile on his face.

“You wanna go outside? Where do you wanna go though?” He asks.

“I don’t know.”

The room fell silent as you both thought of a place to go. Just then, he suggests something.

“How about we’ll drive around and see where that leads us. Then we’ll stop somewhere nice where we can chill?”

“Sounds good. What time shall we go?”

“Do you wanna go now or a little later?” He looks at you softly, melting you in your seat.

“Later. When there’s lesser people outside.” You said and he laughed. Nevertheless, he agrees and waits with you.

An hour had passed and you were both preparing to leave. Chris had changed into a white shirt, a black oversized bomber jacket, denim jeans and a pair of sneakers. He also recently dyed his hair to a strawberry brunette colour. He lent you one of his oversized jackets which was too big on you but you loved it. Especially since it’s his but of course you couldn’t tell him that. You zipped it up to just below your chest while one side hangs loosely off your shoulder. Once you were both ready, you left his apartment as he chats with you about random topics.

The drive was basically aimless with no particular destination. After about half an hour of driving, you reached a part of the town which was empty and quiet.

All the street shops were closed and there were no cars on the road aside from the few that were parked along the side. There weren't any drunk or sober humans lingering around the street either, which was great. So he parked at one of the lots before you both left the vehicle.

“We have the whole street to ourselves.” You giggled while he smiled at you.

“What should we do?"

“Let’s capture these moments. I wanna be able to look back on it on days when I feel down or empty…” You said as you took your phone out and clicked the camera app.

This was normal to him because you do this every time you hang out with him or go on spontaneous trips like this. You loved to capture random moments like this so you could look back on them for the memories you shared with him.

You turned on the front camera video and clicked the record button before setting it up against one of the shop’s window ledges to work as a phone stand. Once it was standing securely, you turned to see him standing a few feet behind you with his hand tucked in his hoodie pockets. Chris was just staring at you quietly with a fond smile on his face. Since he didn’t seem like he was gonna move anytime soon, you giggled as you leaped forward. He opened his arms just in time to catch you.

You wrapped your arms around his neck while he hugged your waist. He laughed at you, saying you’re funny in which you thanked him. Just then, he suggested a challenge.

You will both go to the end of the street where the traffic light is and you will both have to run towards the phone. You easily agreed to it and he was excited. When you made it to the end of the street and you could sort of see yourself on your phone screen, you turned to him to ask a few more questions.

“Loser has to do what?” You asked.

“The loser has to eat a whole bowl of spicy noodles.”

“Damn, you make me wanna lose although I hate spicy food.” Just then, he tapped your shoulder and quickly took off running.

“Race you there!” He sprints down the pathway, leaving you behind.

“Hey! You cheated!” You screamed in between laughs but soon sprinted down.

You tried to catch up to him as best as you could. Once you managed to run past him, Chris laughed. You were just a few metres away from the finish line when he grabbed your jacket to pull you back. This caused you to stumble back, only to crash into his chest while he back hugs you.

Both your laughters echoed around the empty street, feeling him wrap his arms securely around you.

“Christopher! Let go!” You giggled but he refused to let go of you.

"No. That way no one loses.” You laughed in his arms feeling him bury his face in your neck, smiling against your skin. He then guided you towards his car before he leaned against the door.

You took this chance to turn around and face him. When you did, Chris still had his hands on your waist while you gently slid your hands up his chest to rest your wrists on top of his shoulders. Neither of you talked but the atmosphere seemed warm and cosy between the two of you.

You then caught his eyes glancing down at your lips. This made the butterflies in your stomach erupt. Chris then looks back up into your eyes and his lips curled into a soft smile.

“I’m never letting go.”

“We can’t stay out here all night, Chris.” You giggled, only for him to shake his head. You get confused, tilting your head to the side slightly and he chuckles.

So he explained to you, “I’ve known you ever since the day when we were kids. Nothing in the world could beat our little special bond. Every moment with you is a precious memory and I’m lucky that you’re my best friend… So, I’m never letting you go…” Chris says with so much fondness in his voice that it makes you melt against his arms.

You smiled at him, feeling like your heart was fluttering in your chest.

“Chris…” His name slips past your tongue in a whisper which he heard loud and clear. Your hands were now resting on his stomach while he reached up to hold your face with both his hands gently. He caressed your cheeks with his thumbs, never breaking eye contact with you.

Without any words exchanged, he carefully leans his head forward slowly to see if you would pull away. When he was just an inch away and he realises that you weren’t pulling away, Chris finally closes the gap fully.

He gently kisses on you the lips, feeling his soft lips touch yours.

You wrap your hands around his waist as you feel his lips curl into a smile against yours.

After a few seconds, you pulled back for a breath but kept his face close to yours. His lips hovered over yours as he kissed you again. You giggled into the kiss, earning a smile from him when he pulled away.

“What?” He asks but you gently pat your hands against his chest while he drops his hands to your waist.

“Nothing. You’re just so adorable…” You said, making him blush.

“I love you, Y/N… I love you for eternity.” Chris says, making you hug him.

You felt him wrap his arms around your waist securely, making you feel safe.

“I love you for eternity too, Chris.” You whispered against his shoulder. You then felt him kiss your neck before you pulled away to look at his face. He was smiling softly at you as you took this chance to kiss him again. A couple of seconds later, he whispers over your lips, “Let’s get your phone and head back home.” You nodded and did as he said.

Once you took your phone back, you both went in the car and he drove you back to his place.

The drive back home was filled with a peaceful silence as you tangled your fingers together with his hand in your lap. When you made it back to his apartment, you both took warm showers separately before changing into his comfortable clothes for sleeping. You climbed into bed next to him, only for Chris to pull you in. You laid your head on his chest while one of your legs rested in between his. He hugs you close, making sure you are safe in his arms. Right before you fall asleep, Chris reaches up to tilt your chin up using his fingers and soon kisses your lips softly.

“Goodnight, my love.”

“Goodnight… I love you…” You whispered tiredly as he smiled down at you before kissing you again.

“I love you more.” His gentle voice says and soon, you both fell asleep.

#stray kids scenarios #skz scenarios #stray kids imagines #skz imagines #skz x reader #skz bang chan #bang chan scenarios #bang chan imagines #stray kids bang chan #bang chan x reader #bang chan fluff

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hugshughes · 2 months

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betty C. Bedard

Connor Bedard x fem!reader

synopsis - senior year starts, and Connor tries to fix everything after you were left torn to shreds after rumors all summer spread through your small town that Connor had a fling with someone all summer. a fling that supposedly began not long after the messy and unclear "end" of your relationship with him.

wc - 5k

contains - based off of Betty so... <\3. but not that bad because it's less James (Connor) being a douche and more teenagers love to spread rumors and misinformation!!!! crying, sadness, anger, shouting :( but also!!!! touching, hugging, kissing, making out a little bit. reader is 17, and her birthday isn't exactly clear but it's in september. Connor is a jealous teenage boy, and reader is a jealous teenage girl <\3. OH also my high school was 4 periods with over 2000 students and home room was just first period??? i know others are obvi different but that's just what im going off of!

an - hai!!! me when i cut lyrics like this when they don't exactly match how im writing the fic >_< i missed u people. i'm very genuinely sorry i've been gone but i genuinely have had one of the best summers of my life. IM SORRY A CHORUS GOT CUT IT WAS GONNA MAKE THIS HAVE TOO MUCH FILLER OKAY I DID THIS FOR US.

betty, i won't make assumptions, about why you switched your homeroom. but, i think it's 'cause of me.

Second day of senior year, you prayed it would be better than the first.

Yesterday, August 27th, you'd walked into homeroom, and your heart had dropped. Connor sat at a table in the back, laughing at something with his friends. Your Connor. You couldn't even call him that anymore. He wasn't yours. Apparently, he was another girl's, now. A girl from your town's rival school, Augustine, or something.

You sat through first period financial literacy with a weight in your chest. You sat at the very front table with a few friends, trying to smile and converse with them. They could tell something was wrong, and when your teacher said Connor's name during attendance they'd realized what.

You went to second period, feeling a bit better. Then, during lunch, you sped to the guidance office, begging your counselor to change your schedule. She was skeptical, having a feeling it had to do with something social, which she didn't believe called for a change. But when she noticed the tears that welled up in your eyes, she just smiled and clicked her mouse a few times, handing you a brand new paper for the classes you'd start the next morning.

To say Connor Bedard noticed you when you came into homeroom yesterday was the understatement of the year. The boy's smile dropped, his eyes locked on your figure as you shrugged your backpack off, smiling at your friend you sat next to. Yes, this class would be his chance to reconnect with you, fix and explain everything.

He walked into day 2 with a plan, a plan to somehow talk to you in first. He sat in the same seat he had yesterday, talking with his friends while his eyes never left your chair. He waited, and waited, and waited for you to walk in. You never did, you were in another classroom, first period AP Spanish, laughing with your best friend as you did icebreakers.

When the bell rang, he stopped the girl you sat next to the day before, awkwardly calling her name. He asked her where you were, and your friend faked confusion while she fought off laughter.

"Oh, she had her schedule switched, she has like Spanish now I think."

He nodded, mumbling a thank you as he swiftly exited the classroom, his friends shouting at him from the doorway.

As the school day went on, your day got significantly better while Connor's did the opposite. He got in his car after the final bell had rung, sitting in silence for just a minute before his friends piled in. Of course they'd all lived in your neighborhood, it being the most common one for your high school.

betty, one time, i was ridin' on my skateboard. when i passed your house, it's like i couldn't breathe.

He dropped them off at their respective homes, turning down your street to exit the neighborhood. He slowed down as he passed your house, your car was already in the driveway, you must've just got home. Last year Connor drove you to and from school almost every day, he missed that.

You two had broken up, if you could even call it that, in late May. The two of you were arguing about something both of you would now call dumb and you'd stupidly blocked his number after an angry phone call. Connor took that as you ending it, you took it as you were sick of arguing and couldn't speak to him in the moment. You were an emotional wreck when Connor had started ignoring you, still believing it was just all stupid misplaced emotions that needed to be talked through. You let him give you the silent treatment, knowing you were both still very upset.

About two weeks later, still nothing was resolved. School had been over for about a week, but you were miserable. Everything went to shit when you were tapping through Snapchat stories one night. One of your mutuals from school had posted a photo of her and her boyfriend, Connor, and another girl sitting next to each other on a bed in the background. They weren't cuddling, but their thighs were touching while they both looked at something on Connor's phone so basically your life was ruined.

You had over a dozen girls send you the story, asking what the fuck had happened. You had to tell them and yourself that you were broken up.

you heard the rumors from inez, you can't believe a word she says most times. but this time it was true.

It was extremely embarrassing for you once people that you barely even knew were telling others your business.

Connor knew he was royally fucked whenever a random girl he knew you were friends with had come up to him at a party during the summer and asked him about Augustine.

"Is she your new girlfriend?"

"What? No. I don't have a girlfriend."

"That's not what she thinks."

He almost asked who, but he knew who she was talking about. You. Everything was you. He couldn't get you out of his mind no matter how hard he had tried.

the worst thing that i ever did, was what i did to you.

Augustine didn't mean anything to him. His friend had tried to set him up with her because of how sad he'd been. But, he didn't have eyes for anyone but you, so she was just a friend of his.

All summer, he'd tried to find ways that put you two in the same place at the same time. Your town's annual Fourth of July fireworks? You were at the beach with family. Your mutual friend's huge 17th birthday bash? You were at young life camp with friends. The one time it could've worked was when you hosted a party, it was an open invite, but of course, it was the weekend Connor had his biggest hockey camp of the summer. It's like the universe wanted him miserable.

but if i just showed up at your party, would you have me?

You tried to erase Connor from your mind, but it was too hard. Living in a town where everything reminded you of the blonde boy sucked. And even if you were gone, you couldn't get away from him online, either. He was the guy to be watching for next year's NHL Draft. He was amazing, but he was also a very young and socially dumb boy.

You and Connor had gotten together towards the end of freshman year. It'd been about a month since your two year anniversary when the whole miscommunication and breakup took place. He was your first boyfriend, and you were his first girlfriend. Everyone at school knew about you two, even the people who didn't know you at all. It wasn't because you two were grossly comfortable with PDA at 8 am on a Wednesday.

You two weren't at all comfortable with your relationship being too on display to anyone, but the small and subtle things that made people silently root for the two. People saw just how you looked at each other, and how your moods changed with and without each other. They watched you two together at every event. Saw you as the loudest girl in the student section at hockey games. It was just sweet.

would you want me?

Connor was fucked. Although he couldn't confirm it, he was convinced your disappearance from first period was due to his presence. You changed your schedule to get away from him, that's how much he'd hurt you.

would you tell me to go fuck myself?

He wondered what you'd do if he just showed up at your house, or came up and asked to talk to you at school. Would you tell him to fuck off? Would you agree to talk, and listen to his apologies?

or lead me to the garden? in the garden, would you trust me, if i told you it was just a summer fling?

Connor had to speak with you, he couldn't contain himself any longer. When the final bell rang he sat in his car and waited for his friends, driving them home, through your neighborhood once again. He passed your house, only your car was in the driveway. He parked on the street, closing his car door gently behind him as he trekked up your driveway and to the front door.

He knocked softly, stepping back a few feet to wait. After thirty seconds the door opened a third of the way, your body coming into view. You were already in comfy clothes, you hated when your outside clothes touched your bed, Connor remembered. Your eyes widened, your brain sending panic signals through your body, your limbs freezing up.

"Oh my God. Uh, hi?"

You had no clue why Connor would be standing awkwardly on your front porch at 2:38 pm on a Tuesday.

"Hey. You can tell me to fuck right off and I will but, can we like, talk?"

i'm only seventeen, i don't know anythin'. but, i know i miss you.

You blinked a few times, the words taking a moment to register. Connor wanted to talk to you? About what? Did he need real closure after all the dumb shit that happened between you?

"Oh, yeah, sure. Come in."

You led him to your room, you weren't sure why you didn't just go to the living room, silently cursing yourself halfway up the stairs. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Was it clean? Were there clothes on the floor? You were now mortified by the idea of Connor seeing a bra on your bedroom floor, something that wouldn't have crossed your mind five months ago.

Your room was fine, only some socks and a sweatshirt on the ground. You sat in the cushy chair in your corner, pulling your knees to your chest. Connor sat cautiously on the end of your bed, he was always the one person you'd let wear outside clothes on your bed because you didn't care as long as he was laying with you.

It was eerily silent for a few moments before Connor spoke up, your head snapping to him.

"Um, I've been wanting to talk for a really long time, seriously."

You nodded, your eyes leaving his, the air too tense.

"Me too."

Connor's eyes widened at that, seriously? You wanted to talk to him? That was what he'd been hoping for months.

"I can't really think of a better way to say this but, uh. I miss you, a fuckin' lot. And I know I royally fucked up but I really just want you in my life. I hate the tension and the fuckin' like, uncertainty between us."

What? You were so confused. He missed you? But you had people all damn summer nothing but happy to fill you in on all of the Connor and Augustine news. Connor took your silence as you expecting more from him, so he filled it.

"And I know that everything that happened was because I was being a jealous asshole. I'm really sorry and I will show you that."

betty, i know where it all went wrong. your favorite song was playing from, the far side of the gym.

Ah, yes, the fight that ruined it all. See, in May, Connor and the Regina Pats were fighting through the playoffs, and he had one of the biggest games of the season on the night of prom. It was your first prom, and you'd been so excited to go with your boyfriend, so you can imagine the disappointment when he told you he wasn't going to be able to make it. You were crushed, to say the least, and sulked the entire time.

i was nowhere to be found, i hate the crowds, you know that.

The only few minutes you had fun the whole night was when a group of your friends had gotten you to dance after hours of begging, and a photo was taken of you with an arm innocently and extremely appropriately around a guy friend of yours' shoulders. It was platonic, even another girl friend of yours was on the other side of him and had her arm over yours.

It was really not a big deal, but Connor had seen it and was extremely jealous, and felt guilty. He was envious but also beating himself up over not being there.

plus, i saw you dance with him.

"Connor, that wasn't all your fault. I was a crazy bitch and blocked you, even if it was for like forty minutes. I shouldn't have done that, it was stupid. All of it."

He nodded, both of you unsure of what to say next.

you heard the rumors from inez. you can't believe a word she says, most times. but this time, it was true.

"And, I don't know if you care or not. But, I know all sorts of people have been saying stuff about me and Augustine. I promise you that I hung out with her that one time with Adam and hated it. I told her that and we were just kind of friends I guess. I only saw her one other time all summer. I wasn't already moving on from you, 'm still not."

He'd be the death of you, you were sure of it. Did he know how badly you needed to hear that? Even if you were skeptical if it was true when it first came from his mouth, the moment of silent eye contact between you two spoke volumes. He wouldn't lie to you, he was the most honest person you ever knew.

"I think it's stupid for us not to be friends, Connor. We were best friends before and while we dated. I miss that with you."

the worst thing that i ever did, was what i did to you.

You also missed kissing him, and cuddling, and whispering sweet nothings, and holding hands under the table at dinner.

You might as well have dangled Connor's heart on a string in front of him then decided to stomp on it. Friends. That would have to be how it was, he knew he couldn't have none of you, and some of you would always be better than none of you.

"That'd be really good."

You both smiled, although in your minds you both wanted more, you were too scared to say it. You stood up, Connor right after. You just looked at him close up for the first time in a while and sighed happily. You hugged him without caution, arms around his waist and face in his chest. His came around your shoulders, squeezing tightly if only for a few seconds before you let go of what had to be a friendly hug.

You both walked downstairs, Connor opening the front door and stepping onto your porch.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Connie."

"Yeah, okay."

You shut the door with a smile, immediately freaking out as Connor did the same on the other side. You had no desire to be only friends with Connor, but it was the safest route to having him in your life without getting hurt.

i was walkin' home on broken cobblestones.

Connor sat in his car, staring through the windshield. A thousand thoughts raced through his mind. He finally had his favorite girl back in his life, but not the way he wanted. That would have to be enough though, some of you would always be better than none of you.

He snapped back into it when he realized he'd been parked outside your house for multiple minutes and drove off. He went home and then later to hockey practice, and you never left his mind.

just thinkin' of you when she pulled up, like a figment of my worst intentions.

The next day at school you smiled at Connor in the hallway. He was teased for the rest of the day by his friends at the blush he possessed after it happened.

For the next month or so, you two danced around each other. You talked often and hung out together in group settings. At school, you'd talk and laugh, all of your friends demanding they could tell you were still in love. The both of you would insist that you were now just friends and happy about it, even though both of you were yearning to be so much more than that.

she said, "james get in, let's drive." those days turned into nights. slept next to her,

Your birthday was approaching, your 18th. You insisted you wanted something small, a dinner party with your favorite people. You'd invited over a dozen of your friends, receiving RSVPs of yes from all of them. There was still one more blonde boy you wanted to ask, though.

When the final bell rang, you ran out of school like every other teen with a car. Instead of going to yours, you found yourself walking up to Connor's black jeep, one you were oh so familiar with. He was on his phone but noticed you immediately as you were walking up.

He rolled his window down, a grin gracing his face.

"Hey, what's up?"

You lent your elbow against the window sill, resting your cheek against your hand.

"So, my birthday's on Saturday, and I'd really like if you came. It's just a small dinner party at my house, nothing crazy. You might be the only guy attending but I'd love if you could make it. I totally get if you can't though, it's a bit short notice."

Connor's eyebrows raised in shock. You wanted him at your birthday? This felt more intimate between the two of you than any other moment in the past couple weeks. Connor wasn't gonna let you down like he had at prom.

"I'll be there. Can't wait."

Connor wished he didn't love how your eyes instantly brightened, the corners crinkling to match the grin on your face.

"Great, awesome. I'll see you there Connie."

You brushed your hand over his shoulder as you said bye and turned to trek to your parking spot.

"Yeah, bye. I lo-"

I love you. Connor cut himself off before he could say he loved you. Holy shit, why did he almost say he loved you? He prayed you couldn't hear it, the way you kept walking didn't make it look like you did, but he couldn't see your face.

Your jaw dropped, hearing the first two syllables out of his mouth before he caught himself. Oh my God, Connor almost just told you he loved you. You kept on to your car, waiting until you were alone to freak out. Of course, you'd said it all the time while dating, but he hadn't told you that in months, you assumed he didn't feel that way about you anymore.

Connor had told you he couldn't wait for your party, and it was the truth. He had never been a patient boy, and waiting to see you all day on Saturday had him fidgety. He was wearing jeans and a navy Ralph Lauren quarter-zip, a white t-shirt peeking out from the unzipped section. He was wearing his cleanest sneakers and held a small gift bag in one hand, flowers in the other.

betty, i'm here on your doorstep. and, I planned it out for weeks.

He knocked on your door at 7:02, having been sitting in his car outside your house since 6:57, telling himself he could do this. You opened the door quickly, a gorgeous smile on your face. Your eyes widened when you saw what was in Connor's hands, wrapping your arms around his neck in what was too close to be a friendly hug. He wrapped his arms around you, careful to not dishevel the flowers.

"Hey, Connor. Thanks for coming."

"Wouldn't miss it. Happy birthday."

You pulled away after what felt like not long enough, leading Connor inside. He handed you the flowers, a moment of tension between you. Your mother greeted him, hugging him and taking the flowers from you to put in a vase.

Connor was first to arrive, followed shortly by your best friend, who silently made fun of you for how flustered you were. Everyone was in your house by 7:18, and you talked and mingled until around 8 when you decided it was time to eat. You sat next to Connor at your big dining table, earning a few teasing looks from your girl friends.

Dinner lasted a while, everyone talking and laughing. A little over an hour passed by before your mom came through the entrance of the room, holding a stand with a cake, 18 golden candles stuck in the pink and white frosting. Everyone sang as you awkwardly laughed. You closed your eyes and wished for Connor, he was all you could think of. You blew your candles out and everyone cheered, clapping and laughing.

You hung out for a while with everyone, another hour and a half passing before people's curfews started falling. Of course, Connor was the last person there, he'd always been the last one there when everyone else had gone.

but, it's finally sinkin' in.

You two sat on the couch, still awfully close even though everyone else was gone.

"You gonna open your gifts?"

You turned and looked at the small pile of boxes and bags, shrugging.

"My mom always said it was rude to open gifts in front of my guests."

"Am I just a guest to you?"

You laughed, shaking your head. You stood and grabbed all the gifts, laying them on your coffee table before you began opening things. Every gift was thoughtful and sweet, you left things in specific piles so you knew what to thank people for later. Connor's gift was last, and his stomach twisted when you grabbed the bag.

betty, right now is the last time, i can dream about what happens when, you see my face again.

Shit, this was when he was gonna tell you everything. You pulled at the neatly placed tissue paper, you could tell Mrs. Bedard had helped Connor out. The first piece came out and you saw the envelope sitting on the side of the bag. You grabbed it and Connor gently grabbed your wrist.

the only thing i wanna do,

"Can you read it after? I wanna see your reaction before."

"Okay."

Your eyebrows scrunched, but you didn't think too much of it. You pulled out the next piece of tissue paper and your jaw dropped. A small teal box sat wrapped in a bow. The color was unmistakable, the bow too. You looked up at Connor with wide eyes, already feeling tears prick your waterline.

"Connor you didn't."

is make it up to you.

"You don't even know what I did. Look at it."

You grabbed the box, pulling it out and gently untying the bow. You slip the lid off the box, your assumption proved correct, a beautiful white gold necklace lying pretty and perfect in the box. Two heart-shaped white gold pendants hung down, shiny and polished to perfection. Your eyes watered, no one had ever done something so kind for you.

"Connor, I can't even accept this. 'S too much."

"Well I'm not gonna wear it, and I'm not returning it either."

You lightly examined the necklace, light reflecting on the second heart causing something to catch your eye. You held the box closer to your face, squinting for just a second before your eyes widened. There was a small 98 engraved in the heart, your jaw dropping slightly.

so i showed up at your party. yeah, i showed up at your party.

"I've had it since June. I'd tried to order it for our two years but it took forever to ship."

You couldn't help but set the small box down and throw your arms around Connor, a huff of surprise leaving him at the impact. His arms wrapped around you, squeezing tightly.

"I love it, I love you."

You took a leap of faith as you pulled back just slightly and kissed your ex-boyfriend. His arms around you tightened, kissing back immediately. Your hands held his face as you kissed fervently. You were practically pulled into Connor's lap by the time you pulled away to catch your breath, chest heaving as you stared at each other. Connor grinned, extremely happy his girl was back in his arms.

yeah, i showed up at your party.

"I love you."

You giggled and leaned your forehead against his shoulder, still taking in what had just happened.

"Missed you so much."

You turned your head and left a kiss on his neck in response, your boy was back in your arms.

"Missed you more. You don't even know."

"I do know, all summer fuckin' sucked."

"Yeah! And your ass had dating rumors two weeks after we 'broke up'!"

"The key word there is rumors."

You both laughed, Connor kissing you again. You both smiled and giggled into the kiss, tingles running through your bodies.

"Hey, sweetheart! Did everyone leave?"

Your mom had gone upstairs to bed after cake, you thought she'd be asleep by now. You shushed Connor's giggling, pushing yourself off his lap and pulling him up with you.

will you have me?

"Almost mom! Connor's still here, he's leaving soon!"

"Alright, well goodnight you two!"

You both called goodnight to her, turning and smiling at each other.

"I guess that was you demanding I leave."

You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him down and pecking him a few times.

"Shut up! If I had only said that you were still here she'd probably be down here in her pajamas making sure we aren't getting at it on my couch."

Connor just laughed, kissing you again. You two sat back down and just sat together for a while. You both had missed just existing together so much. It was nearing midnight when Connor told you he had to go.

"I have practice at like 6 tomorrow."

"Connor! You're only gonna get like five hours of sleep. Go home."

He stood up, pulling you with him. You walked him out, very quietly opening the front door. Connor's arms wrapped around you again as you stood on the front porch of your home. You laid your head in the curve of his neck with your arms wrapped around his shoulders. You stood in silence for a few moments, before you interrupted the quiet.

"You know what I wished for?"

"No. What'd you wish for?"

"You."

will you kiss me on the porch, in front of all your stupid friends?

He grinned, kissing you sweetly. He held your face as your hands gripped at his quarter-zip. After a few moments, you pulled away, giggly and drunk in love. You didn't know but your Ring Doorbell was catching the whole thing on camera.

You two stood on your porch talking until ten after midnight when you cursed at yourself and insisted Connor needed to go get some rest.

"Walk me to my car?"

"Fine, princess."

if you kiss me, will it be just like i dreamed it?

He failed to fight his laughter as he told you to shut up. You held hands as you walked down your driveway, Connor's jeep parked on the side of the road.

Connor leaned you back against the driver's door and kissed you real good. You almost forgot it was nearing 12:20 am and you were in the middle of your street making out with your technically still ex-boyfriend.

will it patch your broken wings? i'm only seventeen, i don't know anything. but i know i miss you.

You snapped back to reality and pulled away from Connor.

"You need to stop kissing me while I'm trying to get you to go home."

He climbed into his jeep, rolling down the window and leaning his arms against the window frame. As much as you wanted him to go home and get some sleep, you also loved and missed him too much to give up this moment.

"You love it, though."

standin' in your cardigan.

You rolled your eyes and sighed playfully, tilting your head and giving him a smile.

"Might be a crazy question but are we together now?"

"We were never broken up in my mind."

"Cut the poetic shit Bedard. Am I your girlfriend or not?"

He laughed, that was his girl.

"You wanna be?"

You gave him a legitimate eye roll that time, he just laughed again.

"Yes, you're my girlfriend and I'm your boyfriend."

"Perfect, awesome. Have an amazing night. I will text you tomorrow morning whenever I wake up. Which is not gonna be around 5:30 like you."

He groaned thinking of morning practice but was back to smiling at you in less than a moment. You leaned forward, kissing him one more time.

kissin' in my car again. stopped at a streetlight.

You pulled back with a sleepy smile, your whole heart content.

"I love you, Connor."

"I love you."

“Drive safe.”

Connor watched you all the way up the driveway and into your house, waiting a few extra seconds for you to lock the door before he sped home.

Once you closed and locked the door, you were smiling and giggling to yourself. You put on your new necklace and cleaned up from your party.

The two of you slept soundly, you knowing you finally had your person back, and wouldn't lose him again anytime soon. Connor would've been okay with 20 minutes of sleep if that's how long you kept him. His girl was finally his again, and he wasn't going to lose her again.

174 notes · View notes

knavesflames · 4 months

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Hey knavesflames. New follower here.

Hope you are having a great day.

This is my first time ever requesting a writing and I know you could cook up a wonderful piece with it.

So basically got this idea after listening to Mitski's Washing Machine Heart (yes my life is mitski coded). So anyways, the prompt goes like how Arlecchino views the reader as a replacement for the Clervie, something along those lines (and the lyrics of the above mentioned song). All three of them were also living together in the House of Hearth during the reign of the previous Knave (I forgot her name) who Arlecchino defeated.

(I don't know if anyone else have come up with this idea).

Would love to see an angst filled story with this.

Thank you!!!!!

P.S - love your writings💙

Hello! My day is fine thank you:) the fact you trust me to cook here made me smile very much, I hope I cooked enough. Thank you for liking my stuff!!

Contents: angst, non graphic moment of sex that just turns sad as hell, arlecchino sharpen urself up

Word count: 2873

Fic under the cut:D

She was different from you and Clervie. You and Clervie were very similar, most of the kids called you twins. Happy, cheerful, protective, always talking to the other children. Peruere was not like that. She was reserved, almost cold-blooded, quiet. It quickly became obvious she cared about you both when she would quietly invite you to watch her spider do something, or when she would catch three fish instead of one, because you and Clervie were simply too loud for one to stay still. You were a trio, one the entire House of the Hearth knew, and ‘Mother’ knew. She let you all be friends, for now. But it didn’t mean she stopped punishing Clervie. If anything, she was punished more. Often coming back to your room (where you all mostly sat, because your room was the biggest) with shaky hands and a tight lipped smile after having a photo frame thrown at her, or a red face where ‘Mother’ had slapped her. Or, as she got older, even worse, when she would come back with cuts and scrapes that you and Peruere would bandage for her silently. You learned that making the bandages look pretty cheered her up, despite her always having an outward smile. And when she opened the window that night, promising that you’d all go to Snezhnaya and see the dancing lights in the sky, something in Peruere changed that day.

She became more protective, more cautious of things.. when Clervie was involved. As you entered your teenage years, you would often come back to your room, devoid of people, only to hear two people giggling in the next one. You were still a trio, you always had been and always will be. But growing up means indulging in feelings, and they seemed to have more feelings for each other than for you. They were not cruel, no. They did not mean for it to be this way. They invited you out on walks and you caught fish together like usual, but it just felt.. different. The small jokes they made, clearly private jokes you didn’t and wouldn’t understand did not go unnoticed. Neither did the small pit of loneliness that began growing inside of you. You were jealous, yes. Your two best (and only) friends seemed to like each other more than they liked you, if only in a romantic sense, and they let it cloud them when they were with you too. A bitter person, you are not, so you endured it. You still loved and cared for both of them (especially Peruere, but you refused to let Clervie feel the way you felt then) and wanted the best for them, you just wished that for a second, things could go back to the way they were.

But they didn’t. Especially not when you and Peruere stood frozen over Clervie’s fallen body, both of you trembling and breathing fitfully. ‘Mother’’s fight to be king has finally infiltrated your friendship, and Clervie was the one to fall. With Peruere holding the blade, you were convinced you’re next, with your eyes widened and filled with unshed tears (though, the past couple of years, all of your tears have been unshed).

“Peruere, please don’t.”

“I’m going to murder her.”

“..who?”

“Mother.”

“Moth-..”

Your voice trails off as it shakes, your ears thoroughly listening to Peruere’s admittance of her plan, of the future matricide she did in fact go on to commit. You were the one to bury Clervie and place lumidouce bells around her body, closing her eyes and placing the small teddies you three had of each other next to her. Arlecchino was the one who avenged her, brutally murdering her before quickly being imprisoned.

Eventually, after taking Crucabena’s place as the Knave, after becoming ‘Father’, changing her name to Arlecchino, you both began dating. A drunken night turned into dating and living together. Perhaps it was grief stricken, perhaps she really did feel that type of affection for you, the way you have for her for so long. The way you have silently yearned for her has not gone unnoticed by the people around you. What is also noticed, what has been noticed since the day you met Clervie, is your similarities. You both are very similar, you always have been. Kind, cheerful, you both even say the same things, enjoy the same foods. Most used to joke that you were secretly twins, you and Arlecchino know that, but the joke came to an end when Clervie met hers. It was never spoken of again, and neither was she. Barely, anyway. Years went past, and it seemed both of you were happy in the relationship you both had carved from tragedy. Though, you ignored the niggling feeling in your chest when Arlecchino would come home and surprise you with a bouquet of flowers. It wasn’t the fact you received flowers, no, that made your heart warm. It was about which flowers and what she said along with it.

“I saw some lumidouce bells as I walked home. Here, dear, your favourite.”

The phrase alone is all good and well, but.. they are not your favourite flowers. They never have been. You have always preferred lakelight lilies, and she should have known that after over a decade knowing you. Lumidouce bells were the favourite of Clervie, not you. The strange feeling in your chest swells with every new bouquet you receive, until receiving flowers is no longer a pleasant thing. The feeling is pushed back again and again, until she comes home one evening, the keys jingling against the door. The familiar sound of the paper around the bouquet is audible again, and you feel your stomach sink slightly when you see the familiar lumidouce bells.

“Look what the florist had today, dear.”

“So they did. Thank you, love.”

You take them with a small lump in your throat and a tight smile, delicately placing them in water and giving one a small pat, a habit you picked up many years ago as a nod to your best friend. Your mind wanders, though, and eventually, you bite the bullet and ask.

“Did they have any lakelight lilies?”

“They always do. Why?”

You wonder why she doesn’t buy those instead.

“No, no reason. They’re pretty, don’t you think?”

You are not talking about the flowers when you ask this, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear and smiling softly. She glances up with the faintest smile of her own before continuing to undo her heels, the heels you know she has killed many with.

“Not as pretty as lumidouce bells, in my opinion.”

You have to turn swiftly to hide the twist of your expression, the hurt that flashes over it as you grit your teeth together so hard they should have turned to dust already. You manage out an “alright” before beelining towards the kitchen to make dinner. You don’t even know if she knew you were not asking about the appearance of the flowers, if she understood you were asking about your own, to try to find some affirmation in the sea of self loathing. It stung nonetheless, but you realise you cannot be angry if you didn’t say it outright. Still, the thought lingers, eating away at you as you zone out, letting your hands chop the carrot too finely before shaking yourself out of it. You can’t stay upset for long though, when her hands snake around you and she praises you for your food making skills, murmuring that it smells good. So, the thought is forgotten, left behind for a night of overthinking that will inevitably come. For now, though, for tonight, you enjoy dinner. Steak tartare, (you scrapped the carrot), laughing lightly when she draws an ‘x’ over it with sauce to match her eyes. The rest of the evening goes the way all of your evenings go. Contentedly, quietly. She agreed long ago to not bring Fatui doings into the home. You grew up with that and you don’t want to deal with that again, which she respects, so, you don’t speak about work, a relief for both you and her. You watch a movie, a boring movie neither of you really like, that leads to channelling the inner teenager and making out on the sofa. You can’t hide the giggle that escapes you when she lifts you up, carrying you and placing you on the bed before proceeding to undress you. Before long, you’re naked, moaning her name softly in pleasure, both names of hers. ‘Peruere’ is reserved only for this, only for moments of intimacy or when you’re alone. In return, she loves to whisper sweet nothings against the shell of your ear, enjoying the way your body squirms against her.

“It’s good. Please keep going.”

“Good girl. You’re so pretty, the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen, Clervie.”

Oh.. oh. You freeze. She doesn’t. Despite her movements still continuing, the pleasure is gone as quickly as it came and your ears begin to ring as you pale. A shaky hand comes to her chest, pushing her away as you shake your head, swallowing hard.

“Stop. Stop it. I don’t want—“

She stops immediately, a concerned look on her face. Her hand moves to comfort you, to ask what’s wrong but your own hand slaps hers away gently.

“What…? What happened?”

The way you sit up, your once pink cheeks now pale, your eyes wide and your breathing shallow concerns her. When you don’t speak, she stays silent, staring at you as your mouth opens and closes. You know you heard her right, it was clearer than the sky in Fontaine during June. The worst part is that she doesn’t even realise she’s done it. Your stomach is twisting, your chest aching harder than it has in years as you finally manage to speak.

“You called me by her name.”

“I did not.”

“You did.”

When you think about everything in hindsight, the way she (accidental or not is still hard to tell) indirectly said you weren’t pretty earlier with the flowers, and now, during sex of all things, told you that you were the prettiest girl she had ever seen, only to call you by someone else’s name makes you realise it wasn’t you she was talking to at all. She wasn’t calling you pretty, she was calling Clervie pretty. And she wasn't thinking about you at all. Suddenly, the fact you’re naked becomes all too apparent and your hands clutch at the various blankets, covering yourself out of insecurity. A wave of nausea fills you for a second before you speak again.

“I’m not her. You know that, right?”

“I know.”

“I was naked underneath you and you were not even thinking of me.”

“I was, I..”

How many times has she thought about Clervie while having sex with you? How many times has she wished it was Clervie underneath her instead? Your brain begins a whirlwind of thoughts, barely giving each one time to form before another one comes. Then, the words spill out of your mouth before you can stop yourself, your shaky, quiet voice echoing the room and cutting through the awkward tension.

“Do you wish it was me that died instead of her? Do you even know me at all?”

“Of course I know you.”

She didn’t answer the first question, it dawns on you. It hurts too much to bring it up again, not when you know how her avoidance of the question is an affirmative.

“What is my favourite flower, Peruere?”

Her true name comes out of your mouth in what seems to be an attempt at a sneer, but ends up as a sad whisper, your voice quivering with the force of your contained tears. Arlecchino’s own voice is quiet, softer than it usually is.

“Lumidouce bells.”

“No.”

“You loved them as a child, you had a necklace—“

“No, Clervie had a necklace. I like lakelight lilies.”

Arlecchino’s own face pales slightly at the memory of your earlier question. The way your face looked at her with your crooked smile that held that slight tinge of hope, only for you to immediately turn (not before your face fell, she noticed that, but didn’t understand) and walk away. She goes to speak, but you cut her off, a tearful, small voice that’s so unlike you.

“When is my birthday?”

“April 23rd.”

“That is Clervie’s birthday. My birthday is in December.”

“But—“

“You don’t think I’m pretty. You think she is pretty. You have not moved on, you still love her. You— you do not love me and you do not know me at all.”

The silence that follows confirms everything, and a choked sob fills the air at the newfound knowledge. You let your head fall to your knees, quiet sobs wracking your frame as Arlecchino sits beside you, a hand hovering over your back.

“My dear.”

“Do not call me such a thing, Peruere. Not when it is not me you wish to be saying it to. Say my name. Say my name, and tell me you love me and mean it.”

“You must take a breath.”

She does not say it and your heart shatters.

“You do not say it because you can’t. You did not ever love me, you loved her. I am the closest thing you can get to her, so you settled for me and you live your life pretending I am her. What is it, exactly, about me that isn’t good enough compared to her? Why not me?”

“I don’t know. You are wonderful.”

“Yet I am not enough.”

“You are.”

“Not to you.”

The utter heartbreak and anguish in your voice rips through Arlecchino’s body. Not many things get to her like this but her best friend lover crying like this, the insecurity and shame radiating off of her body is heartbreaking to her and she feels the guilt rise in her stomach. You have your head buried into the blankets as your body wracks with soft cries. Being stabbed would hurt less than this, you think. Hurt less than being used to live in a fantasy where Clervie didn’t die.

“Should I go for a walk?”

“Yes, go.”

How enthusiastic your response was, she wonders. Though, she knows what she has done even without meaning to do it. She stands up, clothing herself silently before slipping out of the room. You hear her feet padding down the hall, and eventually her leaving the house and her softly muttering to herself as she passes the window. You want to hate her, you want to punch her and throw all of the flowers out of the window. At the same time, you can’t even bring yourself to think of looking in the mirror and seeing the face your girlfriend does not find pretty. Nor can you bring yourself to walk to your living room and find a picture of the face your girlfriend does find pretty. All you can bring yourself to do is dress yourself in the first clothes you can find before letting yourself fall back into bed, sniffling with a look of misery on your face. You wonder when she’s coming back. You wonder if she’s coming back at all. You wonder if you care. You do, but you wish you didn’t. You wish you didn’t love her the way she loves Clervie. Or, rather, you wish she loved you the way she loves Clervie.

#arlecchino #arlecchino genshin #genshin impact #arlechinno genshin #arlechinno x reader #arle #genshin x reader #genshin fanfic #genshin imagines #genshin impact fic #Arle fic #arlecchino fic #arlecchino angst #genshin impact arlecchino #genshin impact fanfics #genshin impact x reader

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daisyvisions · 27 days

Text

I Wanna Be Your Dog - (k.yh)

➺ Pairing: Rockstar!Younghoon x Assistant!Reader

➺ Summary: Your job as an assistant to the band is simple: handle their schedule, and do what they ask you to do. But how far are you willing to help one member out with a certain ask if it means keeping your job?

➺ Word Count: 3.8k

➺ Warnings: Smut (18+, minors DNI), fem!reader, unprotected sex, creampies, edging, male masturbation, guided masturbation, handjobs, slight fingering, riding, lots of making out, groping, sexual fantasies, mutual pining (?), younghoon is down bad for reader (sub!younghoon if you squint), marking, mentions of hookups, pet name used (baby)

➺ A/N: Finally, my birthday fic for Younghoon is up! I had planned to write for rockstar younghoon ever since this tiktok edit came out last year. This was not the original story I had in mind but I hated how the outline was going and decided to save it for another member and use this plot instead. Title is inspired from the song of the same name by Joan Jett & the Blackhearts because the lyrics fit so well with one particular scene of the fic (iykyk). Proofread once, enjoy 😉

➺ Network & Tag: @deoboyznet @snowflakewhispers @winterchimez @aimeecarreros (thank you for introducing me to the song 😈)

For as long as you could remember, you've always wanted to work in the music industry. There was something about that chaotic world that you thought was magical. You were so determined to become a part of that universe you didn't care where you would end up.

And that is how you became the assistant to one of the hottest acts to ever grace the stage.

At first, you were way too excited to be involved in the day-to-day of the band's schedule; you didn't even care if you had to run many blocks just to get the specific brand of coffee they wanted.

But soon enough, the rose-colored lenses you had on would crack. Not only did you have to take care of the band's schedule and be at their beck and call, but you were also in charge of cleaning up their mess.

Which is the reason you ended up sitting through a one-hour phone call with the band's manager as he practically yaps your ear off about the band's lead guitarist.

"Do you know how many NDAs I had to sign just so these groupies would keep their mouths shut about Younghoon?" Jacob exclaims.

"I know, I'm the one who prints and mails those documents for you." You sigh heavily.

"The board is getting pissed off. It's getting too much! He has a sex addiction at this point!"

"Well, it's not like we can make him wear a chastity belt or a purity ring to stop him! You know how he gets." You reply, trying to hold in your frustration from how long this call has been going.

"They are in the process of promoting their next album and going on tour. If Younghoon keeps this up and the press finally catches on, it will not be a good look for us all." Jacob takes a deep breath and pauses for a moment.

"I need you to keep him in line," Jacob says to you with a stern voice.

"What?! How the hell am I supposed to do that?"

"I don't know, you're the assistant. It's your job to take care of those guys. Do something about it or you can say goodbye to your job."

Jacob puts the phone down immediately without even waiting for your reply. You throw your phone to the side, your heart racing as you feel the frustration consuming you, and it's not even eight in the morning.

You can't afford to lose your job. Not after you've worked so hard to get where you are already. And you will definitely not lose your job just because Younghoon can't keep it in his goddamn pants.

No, you're going to do something about this no matter what it takes.

As you insert the spare key in the lock of Younghoon's apartment, you're instantly startled as a figure appears before you. Her disheveled appearance already tells you who or rather, why she's in his apartment. Great, another day of running into a groupie.

"Oh, Lin, isn't it?" You try to give her a smile. You introduce yourself as the band's assistant.

"Oh—hi," she responds, but her eyes were looking elsewhere. "Excuse me, I gotta go, late for… an appointment," she mumbles.

"Of course, it was nice meeting you!" You put on that people-pleasing voice. Lin nods in return before stumbling out the door. You make a mental note to track her address and send her an NDA later in the day.

You walk further into Younghoon's apartment, already listing out in your head the mess you have to clean up later as you quickly scan different areas of the living room. You find him still dead asleep in his bed, probably unaware that his latest conquest has left the building as you walk closer to sit on the edge of the bed.

"Younghoon? You awake?" You gently shake his shoulder. As you continue to wake him up, you're caught by surprise as he grabs your arm and pulls you into his embrace.

"Hey baby, up so early?" His deep morning voice rings in your ear as his face buries into your neck.

You try to keep yourself composed as you wriggle yourself free, but your eyes widen at the sudden realization that doing so was a mistake as you feel something hard digging between your ass.

"Younghoon, I—"

"So eager for round two, huh? Don't worry, baby, I'll let you take the lead this time." He kisses a sensitive spot between your neck and shoulder as his hands start drifting near your hips. Before anything escalates, you pull his hands away and reach behind to flick him in the forehead.

"Younghoon, it's me!" You shout, sitting upright once more and shaking off that fluttering feeling growing inside your stomach.

"Ow. What the— oh. Oh hey!" He smiles at you. "Where's—"

"Already left. Witnessed her walk of shame just as I was going in," you smirk. "I brought you breakfast; better see you outside in ten minutes, alright?" You slap his shoulder to wake him up.

"Alright, alright, I'll get up," he groans as he turns to his side.

"Aw, all this for me? You shouldn't have." Younghoon slings his arm over your shoulder as he watches you set all the food on the counter.

"Just sit down and eat. We need to talk about something." You shrug his arm off.

"To talk… What did I do this time?" He sarcastically replies as he sits across from you.

"It's not what you did this time; it's what you keep on doing, Younghoon." You grab his plate and fill it up with the food on the table.

"Look, Jacob called me this morning, and he's not happy with your—" You pause, trying to come up with a proper way to address the problem.

"With my… what?" Younghoon takes a big bite from his plate, his eyes trained on yours as he waits for you to finish.

"Your sex addiction." You decide to get straight to the point. "You fuck nearly every girl that bats her pretty eyelashes at you or even gives you a decent amount of attention."

"Hey, I can't help myself, you know? This is the rockstar's life, after all." He shrugs as he takes a sip from his glass.

"Yeah, well, if you don't get that controlled and continue thinking with your dick, it's not gonna look good for the press," you reply.

"Since when have we cared about what the press thought?" Younghoon asks with slight irritation in his voice.

"Please, Younghoon, I need you to keep it together just until promotions and the tour are over. My job is on the line here." Your voice starts quivering. Younghoon sees your eyebrows scrunching and the tiny tear forming at the corner of your eye.

Oh, how he wishes he could kiss those worries away right now and keep you close to him. Seeing you like this whenever you're frustrated or upset makes his heart ache with a feeling he can't explain. It's probably because he has a soft spot for you, ever since you started working for them. And if he's the reason that you end up losing your job, he doesn't know how he'll be able to sleep at night.

"Please?" Your tiny voice calls him back to reality as your soft hands hold one of his. And how could he ever say no to you?

"Alright," Younghoon sighs out. "I'll do it. But it's not gonna look pretty." You chuckle at his response.

"I promise you can go back to doing whatever after the promotions. Deal?" You gently squeeze his hand for reassurance. Younghoon places his other hand on top of yours and squeezes in return.

"You got it, boss."

Much to your surprise, Younghoon does a fairly good job at keeping his word. At first, it was a bit difficult, but he somehow managed to pull through.

He couldn't forget that one time he was almost about to fuck the girl lying on his bed until he suddenly remembered your face and how upset you would've been if you found out what he was doing. He couldn't bear the thought of disappointing you, so he just came up with a lousy excuse for the groupie to leave and fisted himself later in the night until he was satisfied enough.

And since then, that's what he had been doing to get by. He was either fucking his hand or fleshlight while imagining all the different one-night stands he had in the past. But as the days went by, it was getting harder for him to reach that sweet release. Not even watching porn would get him off the way it did before.

He needed to touch and be touched, a pair of lips kissing him everywhere, and moans of pleasure ringing in his ear… he couldn't wait till the tour was over until he could finally ravish someone and forget their name the next day. Sounds like a shitty way to live but hey, this is the kind of life he chose for himself.

Just two more months, Younghoon, what's the worst that can happen?

Sweat starts to form on Younghoon's forehead as he vigorously pumps his throbbing length. He had been trying to get off for a while now, but it seems nothing has been working. This was the worst case of blue balls he has ever had, and if he doesn't cum any second now, he might go insane.

Younghoon starts to dig deep into his memories of past hookups to see if there was one moment he can use to get himself off. There was one memory that seemed to pop into his mind, but not any of the hookups he had remembered. No, it was a memory of you. The day you came into the apartment to talk to him about his problem.

He recalls the smell of your perfume when he buried his face into your neck, the way your ass rubbed against his morning wood accidentally, and how soft your hands were when you held his hand during breakfast.

His cock throbbed in his hand remembering those small moments, playing an imaginary scenario in his mind wherein you didn't stop his hands from traveling to your hips. How he would've pressed himself into you further and continued kissing your neck. How his hands would’ve groped your breasts tenderly as he whispered filth into your ear and you would’ve moan his name in response.

"So pretty…" he murmurs to himself as he bucks his hips up, thinking how beautiful and kind you've always been to him even if he tends to be an asshole at times.

He moans at the thought of how soft your lips would feel against his own, remembering the time you drunkenly kissed him on the cheek during that one after-party a few days ago. He had to quickly turn away from you to hide his cheeks turning pink.

God, he knows his abstinence from sex has gotten so bad to the point that even the smallest gestures from you are enough to send the blood in his veins right down to his cock. He's never been this hard in his life, and he can't tell anymore if it's because he's blue-balled or because he's thinking about you.

Either way, Younghoon was all up in his head that he didn't even hear his front door being unlocked as you let yourself in.

Your visit to Younghoon's tonight was unplanned. He had forgotten his lucky leather jacket in the studio a week ago, and you took it upon yourself to get it dry-cleaned for him.

As soon as you got the call from the dry cleaners, you thought it would be nice to drop by his place and surprise him with his newly cleaned jacket and bring his favorite food for a late night snack. After all, you wanted to show him how grateful you were for keeping his word.

"Younghoon?" You call out his name. You knew he was home after spotting his keys and wallet on the console table. You try to call his name again but still no response. He must be asleep. I should go check on him, you think to yourself.

Younghoon? He hears your sweet voice ringing in his ear. God, he must be down so bad if he can start hearing you call out his name, as if you're right close by. He can already feel himself closer to the edge as he hears his name once again, pumping himself to the point of no return until his door suddenly swings open.

"Younghoon, I— Oh my god!"

"Shit!"

You both catch each other by surprise.

You tried to look elsewhere, but the image of Younghoon jerking himself off is now burned into your memory, and you don't know what to do. Younghoon, on the other hand, whimpers from the loss of his orgasm.

Had you been delayed by a second or two, he would've released his load onto his stomach, relieving himself of stress. But now, he's on the verge of crying as he feels himself getting incredibly pent up.

"I'm so sorry, I'll just go—" You turn around quickly.

"No, wait!" Younghoon's voice stops you from closing the door. You couldn't help but turn around and face him once more. He looked like he was in pain, his eyes becoming watery as he deeply breathes in and out.

"Help me…" He cries out to you.

"W-what?" Your eyes widen. He can't be serious, right?

"Please! I can't— been trying. I can't do it." A tear falls down his pale cheek.

"Please, it hurts so bad…" He whimpers once again.

"Younghoon, I can't—"

"Please! Just this once. We'll never speak of it again—" He pleads like his life depends on it. And with the way he's looking at you like you're the only one that can help him get out of this sticky situation, how could you say no to him?

"A-alright." Your feet move towards him even before you replied, your body already deciding for you on what you need to do next.

You sit beside him, placing your hand on his thigh as you glance over his hand gripping his cock. You feel your core pulsate at his pink tip peeking out from his fist. But you try your best to completely ignore whatever intrusive thought you have and place your hand on top of his, gently holding it as you look into his eyes.

"Just this once, okay?" You hover above his cock enough for your spit to fall onto the tip and move his hand slowly up and down as you guide him through his orgasm.

This wouldn't be the first time you've seen his cock. The first two times were by pure accident and from afar too. But nothing could've prepared you from seeing his member up close.

The way the veins are protruding from how rock hard he is at the moment, wondering what it must feel like to fill you up to the hilt. You try to think of anything deemed unsexy as you stare at his manhood, but that ends up failing as you start to feel your underwear slowly getting wet by the second.

While you're too caught up in your own thoughts, Younghoon couldn't help but stare at the way you looked at his cock, all slack-jawed and dreamy-eyed. It was like you wanted to do more than guide him, like you were ready to devour him any moment from now. As if a dark cloud of lust is slowly taking over you right before his very own eyes. And that was turning him on a lot.

He subconsciously reaches out for you with his free hand, his fingers holding onto the back of your neck as he pulls you in for a kiss. Your lips are even sweeter than he had imagined, making his heart beat so fast from how soft they feel on his own. Younghoon knows this moment won't last forever, so he decides to just enjoy it while it lasts.

You instantly moan from the feeling of his lips on yours, holding his wrist as you lean forward to press yourself against him. You pull his hand away from his cock and replace it with yours instead, the softness of your palm wrapped around his length making him hiss in pleasure. You start to grip him harder, controlling the pace of your hand jerking him off.

Younghoon groans into your mouth as he slips his tongue inside. His hands grabbing onto your hips before pulling you closer to him to straddle his lap. You continue to jerk him off as his hands start caressing the sides of your body.

"Please…" he whines into your mouth.

"Tell me what you need, Younghoon—" You kiss his cheek before moving down to his neck.

"Wanna touch you— fuck— Can I touch you? Please let me touch you." His eyebrows knit in pleasure as your lips suck a particularly sensitive part of his throat.

Too busy with lightly sucking on his skin, you grab one of his hands and guide him to the front button of your pants, signaling him to remove the article of clothing from you for better access. He wastes no time helping you out of your jeans and having you back on his lap.

His fingers slowly sliding beneath your underwear, groaning at the sensation of how wet your folds are. He's honestly amazed at how you're able to get this wet without being touched; it motivates him to slide his fingers between before finally circling around your sensitive bud.

You let out a soft whine as you feel your knees turn into jelly. All you could think about right now is to sink yourself down onto his member and ride him into the sunset. Somehow it was like he could read your mind as you feel his hand pull your underwear to the side and the other pull you by the hip to align your entrance right above his tip.

"This okay?" You look down at him.

"Y-yeah, more than okay." He stutters.

"C'mere." You lean down to kiss him, slowly letting yourself sink down to the base of his cock.

Both of you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding until you finally sat on his lap. The feeling of Younghoon being fully sheathed inside you already has you seeing stars, and you haven't even moved yet. He swallows your moans as he starts bucking his hips up, holding you in a tight embrace as he fucks himself into your tight hole.

"You're beautiful, you know that?" He mumbles as he pulls his lips away from yours to get a good look at your face.

The way he looked at you as if you had a halo around you was making the butterflies in your stomach flutter like crazy. You knew the effect he had on you, especially when he would randomly flirt with you. But for some reason, the effect of his words felt different.

It was like he was confessing something he had locked up inside of him for a long time, making you blush like an idiot. Your eyebrows knit in pleasure as his thrusts start to become faster. Your walls are gripping him like a vice; he knows he's bound to reach his peak anytime soon.

"Let go for me, Younghoon, you can do it." You whisper in his ear.

As soon as you say these words, a sudden burst of warmth blooms inside you. His hips relax onto the mattress as he comes down from his high, but his hands guide your hips up and down his cock, helping you reach your own release.

He must've been so pent up, you think to yourself as you feel him still incredibly hard inside you. The tip of his manhood nudges that sweet spot deep inside you so good you feel yourself nearly falling over the edge.

"K-keep going, baby—" He breathes out. "Use me."

You take control of your own movement and bounce on him like there's no tomorrow. Your fingernails raking the sensitive skin on his chest as you chase your own high. Younghoon can feel himself reaching his own high too the more you keep this pace up.

Everything about this moment was making him absolutely dizzy. Your walls practically choke holding his dick, his first load already dripping out of you and coating his balls, and the way the squelching sounds echo in the room as you use him for your own pleasure?

He will never look at you the same way ever again. You've officially ruined him for anyone else after this.

"Younghoon, I'm gonna—"

"C'mon baby, cum on me. Fuck— make me yours." He mumbles as he feels close to the edge with you.

After a few more bounces, the rope inside you finally snaps, making you cum so hard you feel like you're going to faint. Younghoon's second release follows right after yours, but this time his load is more than the first. You both know for sure that as soon as he pulls out, a waterfall of your mixed juices is bound to rush out of your hole. So you just decide to keep him close longer as you both try to catch your breath.

You lay your head on his chest, listening to the sound of his breathing pattern slowly regulating as he rubs his hand up and down your back. You both bask in the silence a little longer, secretly savoring the moment before you have to part ways.

"Younghoon?" You lift your head to look up at him. He hums in response.

"If— if ever you need help with this at a different time…" You pause for a moment. "I'd be happy to volunteer." You feel your cheeks burn up at the thought of doing this with Younghoon again.

"Yeah? You wanna help me out?" His eyes widen, his heart beating faster again knowing this wouldn't be the last intimate moment with you.

"Yeah, just as long as you sign an NDA about it." You jokingly reply. He chuckles and kisses your forehead.

"Well, get ready to print a lot of those—" He grabs your ass and gives it a good slap, making you yelp in surprise.

"—because you have a lot of catching up to do."

#deoboyznet #kim younghoon #younghoon #the boyz smut #the boyz hard hours #tbz scenarios #the boyz fic #the boyz fanfic #tbz drabbles #younghoon smut #younghoon scenarios #tbz smut #the boyz scenarios #kpop smut #tbz hard hours

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munsonslove · 2 years

Note

Hi! I love you writing and I was wondering if you could write a fic we’re Eddie and the reader kinda have like a frenemies vibe going on and then one day they sleep together but Eddie has no idea the reader is a virgin because of people saying stories about her and then they sleep together and he finds out after they did it??

Can I Kiss You?

(18+ only)

a/n: thanks so much for the request, & thank you everyone for 1k followers!!! i’m so happy people are liking my little stories <3 a few notes: reader is dustin’s older sister in this fic, but i make it a point to say that she was adopted, so you can def read this as not white reader still. i also briefly mention the reader’s birth parents passing away when she was very young, so tw for family death. and there’s a part where it’s said that the reader’s last name isn’t henderson (because she kept her original surname after being adopted) so if anyone’s reading this and your irl last name is henderson… just like pretend it’s not for a sec? oh also i hid a taylor swift lyric in here. first person to find it wins! anyways i hope y’all like it!!

summary: Your little brother's annoying DM is always hanging around and trying to bother you. Embarrassingly, you developed a crush on him, you were just too proud to do anything about it.

wordcount: 7.3k

tags/warnings: fem!virgin!reader (18+ and a high school graduate), also adopted!henderson!reader, slight mention of family death, fluff, smut, friends/frenemies to lovers, praise kink, fingering (f receiving), descriptions of masturbation (both f and m receiving), use of pet names (baby, princess), unprotected p in v penetration (she’s on the pill, use condoms irl of course), no use of y/n

“He’s not here,” you deadpan with a roll of your eyes as you open the front door. You weren’t expecting any visitors, so when you heard knocking you were quick to find a makeshift weapon before seeing who it was. Your paranoia diminished when you saw it was merely your little brother's DM.

“I’d be tempted to say ‘how do you know I’m not here to see you?’, but that lamp in your hands has me second guessing myself,” Eddie replies with a laugh, pushing past you to enter your home without permission. “You gonna attack me, princess? Didn’t know you found me that annoying.”

“I’m a young woman home alone, and a lot of really strange things happen in this town,” you explain, setting the lamp back down on the end table. “Sue me for being defensive.”

He shakes off his backpack and tosses on the floor. “Better safe than sorry I guess,” he agrees, though you can hear his amused smirk in his tone. “Why you home alone? Your mom got a hot date or something?”

“Book club,” you correct him while crossing your arms, “And Dustin’s sleeping over at the Wheeler’s.”

Eddie hums in response, licking his lips as he looks you up and down. “Cute pajamas,” he says, winking at you.

At his comment, you realize with a start that your robe had fallen open, and crossing your arms only accentuated the suggestive low cut of your silk nightie. Quickly scrambling to cover yourself and retie the knot, you frustratedly grumble, “What are you even doing here? Dustin didn’t say anything about you coming over.”

He flops down on the couch, kicking his feet up on the coffee table and settling into the well-worn cushions, making himself at home. “He talked me into letting him DM for a campaign, so I thought I’d stop by with my copy of the Dungeon Master’s Guide. He was bitching about only having the Player’s Handbook and Monster Manual, so…” he trails off with a shrug as he leans forward to snatch the remote to the TV from next to his boot.

“Get your dirty shoes off of my mother’s clean furniture,” you scold before physically grabbing his ankles and forcing his feet to the floor. “Can you at least pretend to have manners?”

“I could try, but then you wouldn’t have a crush on me anymore,” he laughs, then hooks one of his fingers into the belt of your robe, pulling you down to be seated next to him. He rests his arm on the back of the couch behind your shoulders, not reacting when you retort with a curt ‘In your dreams.’

You know that logistically you could make him leave- this was your home, after all- but the possibility of him actually going without protest was very low. It seemed like Eddie’s favorite thing in the world was annoying you, and sometimes you find yourself missing the days back when he barely acknowledged your existence. He was originally two years ahead of you in school, but due to him being held back twice he ended up being a part of your graduating class. You didn’t run in the same crowd, in fact you couldn’t have been further out of each other’s social spheres. You were quite popular, invited to many parties, even won prom queen your senior year. Eddie, on the other hand, only showed up at parties to sell drugs, and didn’t attend prom for any of his senior years.

When your little brother entered high school, you worried about him being bullied. You were aware that most of the school’s population were under the impression that Dungeon and Dragons was a devil worshiping cult, and the Hellfire club along with it. Having been exposed to the game for so long thanks to Dustin’s nerdy interests, you knew better than what the propaganda surrounding D&D tried to peddle to the public, but you held concerns that your status-obsessed ‘friends’ wouldn’t be so easily convinced otherwise. Popularity was never something you sought out, it just came naturally to you, and while it was nice always having weekend plans there was no way in hell you were going to let anyone give your baby brother and his friends any shit. If sticking up for your family made the ‘cool kids’ at school not want to have you in their clique, then that was fine by you. To your surprise, everyone seemed to get the message loud and clear that Dustin and his band of misfits were off limits bullying-wise, and you were able to stay relatively well liked by your peers.

The first time you stood up for Dustin, it was a few weeks into his freshman year in the hallway before first period. One of the guys from the basketball team was giving him a hard time, and you marched right up to the meathead jock and shoved him away. You made sure to get your point across that if you ever saw him fucking with your brother again that you weren’t afraid to fight back. The opposing boy cowered away, not expecting one of the most popular girls at Hawkins to so adamantly defend who he considered a ‘nerd’. Word traveled fast, and by lunchtime the hottest gossip was how you sucker-punched Damian Smith square in the jaw outside of Mrs. Hackett’s classroom this morning. It wasn’t true by a long shot, but you found it rather amusing how much the story got twisted when there were so many witnesses. That day was also the first time you spoke to Eddie.

He had cornered you in the cafeteria, and was attempting to use his ‘bad boy, outcast’ demeanor to intimidate you into leaving Dustin alone. Some of the cheerleaders got the attention of their boyfriends, and pretty soon a group had gathered to see why someone at the bottom of the food chain was messing with you. You called them off with a wave of your hand, then took Eddie’s arm to drag him out into the hall and figure out what the hell he was talking about. He clearly had the wrong idea, because he was telling you off about ‘pretending to stand up for the nerdy freshmen’ and how he ‘knew this was part of some elaborate prank’.

He had no idea you were Dustin’s sister. It made sense, you didn’t look all that similar and you didn’t even share a last name. Your biological parents were family friends of the Hendersons, and they died when you were fairly young. You were legally adopted by your godmother, and were raised as a member of the family. Most everyone who you’ve told has tried to console you after learning the truth, and while it is sad that you didn’t get to grow up with your birth mother and father, you know you were lucky to be a Henderson (by love, not by name). Family is family, even if there’s no blood relation, and that’s exactly what you told Eddie. You let him know that he could accuse you of being one of those airheads whose main concern is how many pages of the yearbook they make it on, but that wasn’t going to stop you from beating the shit out of anyone who tried to give your brother a hard time.

With Eddie becoming a close friend of Dustin’s, even somewhat of a role model (much to your dismay), you saw him pretty often. He was always finding excuses to come over, and you suspected it had something to do with his new life mission of bothering you at every waking moment. The two of you didn’t hate each other per se, on the contrary you actually always secretly enjoyed spending time with the metalhead, despite your differences. That being said, your rapport consisted mainly of jestful bantering, constantly trying to have the one-up in the exchange. You both finished high school together, he actually gave you a ride to graduation (not without a snide comment on the length of your dress, prompting a middle finger from you). Now you were taking a gap year before college and he was staying in Hawkins to focus on his music, the plan being to move to Indianapolis when the final member of Corroded Coffin graduated. With the freedom awarded by not attending Hawkins anymore- from both the stressful preparation for another four years of school and the pressure to stick to the status quo- you found yourself spending a lot of downtime with Eddie. You’re not quite sure either of you would readily call the other a friend, but maybe relationship labels were overrated. All you knew was that if Dustin was hitching a ride home, you could count on Eddie’s van being parked in the driveway for at least a couple hours while he berated you inside.

Lately though, the playful bickering between you two morphed into what almost felt like flirting. Eddie seemed to be laying it on thicker and thicker each time he came to see you, as if he was testing the waters for how much he could get away with without you getting upset. What he didn’t know, however, was that you’ve been harboring a secret crush on him for a while now. After actually getting to know him through the excuse of you both caring about Dustin, you came to the realization that he’s not all bad like his reputation.

Eddie switches on the TV, turning it to your favorite channel without asking and setting the remote back down on the table. It’s the little gestures like these that have you falling harder for him everyday. You lose your train of thought getting lost in fantasies of doing exactly this with him, only while being able to call him your boyfriend. You’re ripped back to reality when his arm shifts from the back of the couch to actually over your shoulders. His face doesn’t show any sign that he thinks of this as overly intimate, so you try to not let any reaction show.

Some hours pass this way, and you wonder how long Eddie plans to stay for. You silently pray that your neighbors won’t say anything to your mom about his van parked in the driveway, but even if they do, the tingling you felt in your chest was well worth it- and besides, no matter what she said, you were an adult. Just as you're thinking this, Eddie stands to pick his bag up off of the floor, slipping the books he brought out onto the coffee table, before zipping it back up and holding it awkwardly in his hands.

“I guess I should probably get going,” he says with a shrug, “It’s getting late, and your mom will be home soon.”

“She said they were going to drink wine,” you respond. “You know Claudia, she wouldn’t drive after having even a sip. She’s going to sleep on her friend’s couch.”

“Oh,” he says, his eyes lighting up a little before he purses his lips and looks out the window. “Well, it’s pretty dark out now. I don’t wanna keep you up…”

There’s a brief pocket of silence, neither of you wanting to be the one to suggest what you’re thinking for fear of the other not returning the same feeling. You don’t want your disappointment at the idea of him not staying to be too evident, but you’re not sure how convincing you’re being. Your gaze drops down to his pretty lips, distracted by how he’s biting them, and wishing you could bite them instead. Faintly, so faintly you’re almost unsure if you even really heard it, he speaks your name, bringing your attention back to his eyes. You watch as he gathers the courage for his next words.

“Can I kiss you?”

It’s like time stops. You resist the urge to squeal like a little girl with a crush, but that is exactly how you feel. Slowly, you nod your head before moving your lips to say, ‘Yes,’ though no sound escapes you. He drops the bag, and kicks it out of the way when it lands at his feet before taking long strides toward you. The both of you lean forward, and he tilts his head slightly to make room for your noses. His breath fans your lips as he hesitates to close the distance. Impatient after months of pining, you grab him by the zipper of his jacket and finally do what you’ve been dreaming about for so long.

His lips are as soft as they look, and you conclude that your theory about his chapstick addiction is correct. With as much as he smokes (medicinal or otherwise), he must moisturize them pretty often. He actually tastes very faintly of tobacco, and you remember how he said he was trying to quit and only smoked cigarettes when he was jittery. You wonder if that meant that you make him as nervous as he makes you. The dirty taste was thankfully mostly covered up by a strong minty flavor, and that only makes you wonder even more, this time about if he also obsesses over little detail when he knows he’s going to see you. Whenever Dustin would inform you Eddie was on his way over, you would find yourself primping in front of the mirror, making sure your hair fell in place just the right way and your skin was clear of any blemishes. You even did this before you fully understood your feelings for the man were romantic. Picturing him having the afterthought to pop a mint before driving over to see you had you smiling against his lips.

“What?” he laughs, pulling away from you slightly and raising an eyebrow with both curiosity and amusement.

“Nothing,’ you reply, giggling softly. “Just thinking.”

“Oh? What about?” he asks, leaning in once again to peck you chastely before simply resting his forehead against your and gazing into your eyes. He walks you backwards, back to the couch and sits, pulling you down next to him.

You shake your head, still smiling. Your mind was racing a mile a minute and it was too much to explain, especially when the only thing you wanted was for him to kiss you silly. “Not now. Just come here,” you whisper as you thread your fingers through his hair and push yourself flush against him, ending up fully sat in his lap with his hands gripping your thighs.

You two last like this for a while, (mostly) innocently kissing, just enjoying the feeling of finally giving into temptation. Pretty soon, Eddie’s touch begins to roam, and your hips begin to rock. It was very quickly crossing the line from PG-13 to R. When you feel his cock harden beneath you, you make up your mind about what you want to happen.

“Eddie,” you moan while his tongue circles a bite mark he left on your neck, soothing the sting. He dismisses the sound, lost in his own world as his hands find purchase on your butt, assisting your movements against him. “Eddie,” you try again, shaking his shoulders slightly.

He immediately slides his hands up to a more modest area on your waist, and he lifts his head away from your neck to look at you. His pupils are blown wide, and his hair is wild. “Yeah, baby?” he says, sounding out of breath.

“Do you want to go to my room?” you ask. You can tell by the way he glances back down at your lips, then to your thighs, and finally back up to your eyes, that he knows exactly what you are implying.

“A- are you sure?” he forces out, barely believing what he’s hearing.

“I’m sure,” you confirm. “I’m ready.”

You’re both hurrying down the hallway, nearly tripping over each other’s feet in your haste. The walk to your bedroom is short, but after putting off the inevitable for so long, you can barely wait and have to resist jumping his bones before reaching your destination. Throwing open the door, he ushers you inside and shuts it behind him.

Eddie’s heavy leather jacket thuds as it hits the floor, his shirt being discarded soon after. Your mouth waters at the sight of his tattoos, but you barely have time to admire his partial nudity. He’s on top of you in a flash, pressing you into the wall and kissing you passionately. His curious hands rake over your body, and their wandering loosen the knot on your robe’s belt, causing the thick fabric to open slightly and expose your collarbone. Like a man starved, Eddie’s lips never lose contact with you as he rips the tie from your body, almost making you fall with the force behind it. He steadies you with his hands back on your waist, this time underneath the robe, and you can feel his touch so much better with only the thin silk of your nightgown between you. Shrugging the robe off, he helps you pull it down your arms before tossing it onto your carpet, and the cold air of your bedroom is fought off by his body warmth invading every inch of you.

“Do you want this as much as I do?” he whispers gravelly after parting his lips from yours.

He doesn’t need to clarify what exactly he wants, because you want it all with him. “I do,” you confirm.

He leads you over to your bed, a queen-sized four-poster, still unmade from this morning. You climb on top and turn to face him while sitting on your knees. He looms over you, standing at the foot of the bed with you kneeling on the mattress in front of him. His pretty eyes darken as he looks down and takes in your form.

“God, I like you like this,” he laughs from above you, “Is this what I gotta do for you to shut your mouth?”

“You like my mouth” you shoot back, sitting up to reach him and tangling your hands in his curls. You make a fist, thus pulling his hair slightly.

He grunts as you tug on his locks, but doesn’t let the innuendo in your last comment go. “You do have a real nice mouth,” he says as he swipes his thumb against your bottom lip. Before he can retract his hand, you open your mouth and suck the digit into it, swirling your tongue around the tip while looking up at him from behind your eyelashes.

“Fuck, baby,” he brokenly breathes out.

The only thing you see in his eyes is pure unadulterated lust, and you feel your belly grow warmer at the thought of what he was going to do about it. He withdraws his hand only to place it on your neck, his palm on the front of your windpipe. He’s not applying any pressure, so you can’t call it choking, but just the implication of such a touch has arousal pooling in your underwear. His thumb is warm and wet on your throat, and when he trails his hand from your neck to the back of your head, the breeze of air on the leftover saliva makes your skin feel cool. Eddie drops his head and his lips meet yours once again, but only just barely making contact. You try to deepen the kiss, but he’s returned the favor of holding onto a tuft of your hair, making it impossible to press against him more firmly without your hair being pulled. He laughs at your cries of protest, but gives in, sucking on your bottom lip and nipping at it before licking his tongue past the threshold of your mouth.

Kissing like this isn’t the most comfortable, what with the springs of your mattress digging into your knees and your neck craning up to be able to reach Eddie, but you could stay in this position for hours if it meant he was going to keep touching you the way he was. The hand not tangled and tugging at your hair was sliding up your side, dragging the silk of your nightie up. He bunched the fabric up in a fist, which caused it to be lifted enough that your cotton panties were on display. You briefly worry about whether he was going to think the underwear you had on was sexy or not, considering it wasn’t silky or lacy like your nightgown was. It was just a simple and comfortable pair of navy blue panties with a white elastic waistband.

While you were busy overthinking, Eddie bent at his knees and kissed down your jaw, releasing your hair to raise the fabric on the other side of your nightie up to the same level, then backed away to pull it the rest of the way up over your head and off your body. You felt a little self conscious, bare chested in nothing but a pair of underwear that wasn’t even sexy. Your arms went to fold in front of you, but Eddie dropped the silk and grabbed your wrists, stopping you.

“Don’t cover yourself,” he whispers, his eyes glued to your body, “You’re so beautiful.”

Blood rushes to your head as you bite back a smile at his compliment. Any anxiety you previously felt about him judging you vanishes, and in its place comes even more need. Eddie tells you to lay down as he softly nudges your shoulder, and you do as he says with no contest. He hooks his fingers underneath the elastic of your panties before waiting for one last head nod from you. When you give the okay and lift your hips, he slowly pulls the fabric off of you, sucking in a breath when your bare pussy finally crosses his line of sight.

He crawls onto the bed and kisses up your torso, starting at your hip bone and making his way all the way up to your clavicle. The hard tent in his jeans rubs against the delicate skin of your inner thigh as he spends extra time marking up your neck, and you get impossibly wetter at the proof of the effect you have on him. When he pulls away, the mattress dips by both sides of your face due to him propping himself up by his arms. His legs bend as he sits up, successfully caging you in, and he takes a moment to just look at you.

“I’m gonna get you ready for me, okay baby?” he says quietly, one of his hands leaving their spot next to your head as he traces his fingertips lightly down the dip in between your breasts, over your belly button, and caresses your dripping slit.

“Yeah, okay,” you mutter out your consent. With your brain as cloudy as it was, you weren’t entirely sure what he was proposing, but you were at a point by now where you would agree to anything.

His middle digit slips easily past the soaked folds around your weeping hole, and he circles the entrance teasingly, collecting your juices before finally breaching, and just his fingertip enters into you. An embarrassing high pitched squeak escapes from your throat, and you raise yourself up onto your elbows to get a better look at what he’s doing to you.

“You wanna watch as I warm you up with my fingers, princess?” he croons at you sweetly. “It’s pretty, ain’t it?”

You take a deep gasp of air as his finger disappears further into you, his hands are bigger and tougher than your own, and the difference is very noticeable. He bends and straightens his wrist over and over, pumping in and out of you with ease, and the foreign feeling is strange yet pleasurable. Another finger slides inside, and he works them into you, opening you up. He’s determined to make the next step after this as satisfying for you as possible.

“You’re so wet and tight, baby. You’re gonna feel so good on my cock,” he practically mewls. There’s a wild look in his eyes, and it only steers you closer to your climax. “You want that, baby? You wanna make me feel good? Make me crave you all the time, even more than I already do?”

His words are slurring together as he rambles on about how perfect he knows your pussy is going to feel around him. For the life of you, you can’t form any response that isn’t loud moaning, but Eddie doesn’t seem to mind one bit. You feel the build up inside of you start, and your entire body tenses involuntarily as you prepare for what you know will be a mind-blowing orgasm.

“Are you gonna cum? My princess is gonna cum?” he asks, and you nod your head to the best of your ability given that the muscles in your neck are locked up. “You’re squeezing my fingers so fucking tight, baby. Show me how pretty you are when you cum. Show me, and I promise I’ll fuck you so good, so right. I’ll fuck you as many times as you let me, and I’ll do it anyway you want. Hard, slow, soft, fast… Just show me how perfect my girl is when she’s cumming around my fingers and I’ll give you what you need”

His promises push you over the edge, and you finish while crying out his name. Literally, you feel moisture leak from your eyes as your head pushes into the pillow beneath you. Eddie leans forward to kiss away the tears, all while still fingering you, helping you to ride out your orgasm for as long as possible.

“That’s it, that’s my girl,” you hear as you start to come back to the world. His hand slows down slightly, more focused on a deep and sensual rhythm, and you feel his hot breath on your temple as he continues to soothe you through your come down. “Did such a good job, sounded so pretty moaning my name, wanna make you make those sounds forever…”

He trails off as he pulls his hand away, and you both stare at his hand and watch how the light reflects off the glistening slick coating his fingers. He plunges them into his mouth, and groans around them at the taste as your jaw drops in disbelief. It was the hottest thing you’ve ever seen. Still recovering from both your shock and intense orgasm, you grunt out in annoyance when Eddie rolls off of you and stands up. You’re about to complain at the loss of contact, until you realize his reason for doing so was to unbutton his jeans. You instantly rise. Your head feels dizzy from sitting up too fast, but you push through the lightheadedness in order to give your full attention to what was about to happen.

Eddie hurriedly moves to yank his tight jeans down his legs, stumbling slightly but regaining his balance enough to not fall, then succeeds pulling down the denim and kicking his legs out of it. His legs are pale- as could be suspected from wearing nothing but full length pants in Indiana- and they look rather soft. You want to reach your hand out and graze his calf to see if they’re as soft as they appear, or if looks are deceiving and his dark wisps of leg hair actually have a coarse texture. There’s no time to dwell on that instinct, as very soon after discarding his pants he follows his boxers with them, and you’re distracted by hair in another area.

Eddie’s cock springs to his stomach when he straightens up from pulling off his underwear. The sight of it both makes you want to spread your legs and squeeze your thighs together, but the choice is made for you when Eddie takes your knee with one of his hands and settles between your legs on the bed. His lips met yours as his shaft grazed your soaked lips, brushing against your clit and causing you to buck up into hip, but your hips are pinned down by his pelvis. The pressure allows some relief, but you crave more.

“Fuck me,” you beg, “Please fuck me, Eddie.” You sound pathetic even to yourself, but you’re far past the point of no return as far as shame goes.

“Do you have protection?” he asks, in between kisses. “I didn’t bring condoms. I didn’t think- I didn’t expect you to actually-”

“I’m on the pill,” you cut him off. “Just fuck me.”

“Oh my god,” he groans, “Are you sure, princess?”

“Please, Eds,” you whine, “I need you.”

“You need me, baby?” he smiles against you while you nod your head. His teeth clash with yours as you try to pull him somehow closer to you than he already is. “I know what you need. I’m gonna give it to you, don’t worry.”

He lifts himself up so that he can grasp the base of his shaft, and slides up and down your slit before he positions the head of his cock to be poking your entrance. There was a stinging sensation as he stretched you out, sinking in slowly inch by inch until you can’t take anymore and have to stop him.

“Too big?” he asks, and the tone of his voice leads you to believe he’s asking this with genuine concern rather than inflating his own ego. He really doesn’t want to hurt you.

“I just need a s- second,” you stutter out while adjusting your pelvis, trying to ease the dull ache.

“Take all the time you need,” he murmurs while pecking you on the tip of your nose. Your hand immediately flies up to guide his lips to your own, and the emotion behind the kiss distracts you from the tenseness you feel, allowing you to loosen up slightly.

“God,” he moans, “you feel even more perfect than I imagined.”

A smug smirk crosses your face and you lift an eyebrow at him. “So you’ve imagined?” you ask, tilting your head and chuckling.

“Don’t act you haven’t fucked yourself with those fingers of yours while calling out my name,” he responds with a challenging look, “I can just picture it now, your sheets all crumpled from you tossing and turning, your hands cramping up but you ignoring it cause you’re so desperate to cum. Tell me, princess, when we would hang out, how long would you wait after I left to run up here and start rubbing this pretty little clit.”

As he tortures you with these (very true) accusations, his right hand snakes its way in between your bodies to start playing with your clit. He touches the nub with the tip of his thumb, applying pressure before rolling it in gentle circles. It’s too much and not enough at the same time.

“I asked you a question, baby,” he says, his lips now moving against your jaw as you focus on relaxing and getting used to the feeling of him inside you. “You gonna be a good girl and answer me?”

His vulgar words combined with his hand’s actions send you a wave of slick arousal, and suddenly you’re ready, and you want him deeper. “Eddie,” you whine, “more.”

“Nuh-uh,” he mutters, not moving an inch and keeping that deviously slow pace with his fingers. “I wanna hear about you touching yourself, princess.”

“Ugh!” you groan, kicking your leg out like a kid throwing a tantrum. “Eddie! It’s embarrassing!”

“No it’s not,” he comforts you, his left hand stroking your cheekbone as he leans down to kiss you sweetly on the lips. “When I’m thinking of you, I like to go nice and slow at first…”

Your breath gets stuck in your throat as you realize what he’s about to do. He’s going to tell you about him getting off to dirty thoughts of you. It should disgust you to know the boy who was teasing you and picking little fights for the past almost two years has been fantasizing about you, but it only gets you going more. You force your eyes open to look at him, and he’s already staring deeply at you, his face showing no signs of mocking.

“I think about those pretty lips, so soft. I think about what they’d feel like on my skin, around my cock.” His unabashed admissions are doing nothing to help with how impatient you’re getting, but his fingers stop circling your clit when you try to slide down deeper onto his dick yourself.

“I know you want it baby, but I’m trying to talk to you,” he whispers, “You don’t wanna be rude, do you? You already wouldn’t answer my question.”

“Sorry,” you whimper weakly, hoping that if you play along he’ll hurry up.

“So sweet for me,” he says as his hand starts up again and he nips at the sensitive skin in the crook of your neck. “I knew you’d be sweet. I knew your tough girl act was a show. All the times you got mouthy and bratty with me, you just wanted to be my sweet, good girl.”

“I take off everything but my panties. And then I lay down in bed, with the fan on cause I get hot. And I start feeling up my stomach-”

He cuts you off with a chuckle. “What are you talking about, princess?”

You bang your head on the pillow and start squirming. “I’m answering your question,” you whimper, “You’re taking too long, Eddie, I need it!”

His fingers circle your clit fast and he finally, finally sinks the rest of the way in you, bottoming out and filling you up so deep and full. “Keep going,” he orders as he starts rocking in and out of you at such a cruelly slow rate. As if reading your mind, he adds on, “I’ll go faster if you keep going.”

“Fuck, Eds,” you moan out in ecstasy, your mind empty and only able to think about his cock and what he’s doing to you. But you want- no, need- him to go faster, so you summon every brain cell you have and force yourself to speak semi-coherently.

“I feel up my stomach til I get goosebumps, and I start massaging my tits and thinking about what it would feel like if it was your h-hands,” you start to stutter as his left hand mimics your descriptions, tickling your abdomen as it makes its way to your chest. “And while I did that, I would spit on my fingers a little bit then stick my hand in my underwear, and I would start rubbing my clit.”

“And you imagined it was me doing it?” he interrupts, now thrusting into you a little harder and a little deeper, his hand massaging your breast before taking a nipple in between his thumb and pointer finger and rolling it gently.

You nod your head, too lost in the feeling to answer verbally. He really started to pick up the speed now, hitting a spot in you that you were never quite able to reach on your own, and it’s so sinfully delicious that you feel like you’re going to black out from the intensity of the pleasure. He feels so perfect moving against you, the velvety skin of his cock merging so right with your inner walls. You chastise yourself for holding out for so long, if you had known how blissful it would be, you would have confessed the day you realized your feelings. The idea that you could have been doing this for nearly a year has you cursing whatever forces that kept you apart, though a bitter voice in the back of your head reminded you it was your own stubbornness.

“Then what do you do?” he urges you on.

“Um, I would stay like that for a little while,” you continue, finding it difficult to get your thoughts out into full sentences, “and then when I was close I would… um, like stop playing with my tits. So that I could use that hand to finger myself.”

“Fuck, princess. The way you describe it… I bet you look so pretty when you’re touching yourself,” he groans, now pummeling in and out of you in a steady, fast rhythm. His eyes keep switching between watching you and being scrunched closed, like he’s trying to focus on making this last but still wants to look at your face. “I wanna see it someday. Will you show me?”

“Yeah, mhm, sure,” you agree, not even really paying attention to what he was asking you due to being too lost in what you were experiencing. Your orgasm was near, and you wouldn’t be able to hold it off for much longer. “Eddie, I’m close,” you warn, your nails digging into his back as your arms tighten around his neck.

“Me too, baby,” he says back. The rocking of his hips combined with the closeness of his face caused his lips to brush against yours in a repeated pattern, and the intimacy of that only builds your climax up faster. “Where do you want it?”

Eddie Munson, the bane of your existence for the past couple of years is asking you where you want him to cum. “Inside,” you answer without thought. “Inside me, Eds, I wanna feel you leaking out of me.”

“Oh fuck. You can’t say shit like that to me. How am I supposed to keep living my life like normal after this?” he whines, “Are you gonna cum for me, baby? I want you to go first.”

As he finishes telling you this, the wire snaps and you feel electricity shoot throughout your body. Your second orgasm is much stronger than your first, and considering how the first one had you nearly losing consciousness, that was really saying something. The shockwaves make you feel like you’re literally vibrating around him, and being able to feel his dick twitching as he released his load into you only added to that feeling. You were a moaning mess, gasping in and puffing out little breaths of air as you hopelessly cry out, ‘I’m cumming, Eddie, you’re making me cum,’ along with assorted swears over and over and over. His grip on your waist loosened as he wrapped his arms around your middle and held on tight, burying his head into your neck as he rode out his own orgasm. He muttered something into your skin that you couldn’t quite make out with it being muffled, but it sounded suspiciously close to, ‘I love you,’ and your heart leapt at that possibility.

After a few minutes, after you both gathered yourselfs, he rolled over onto his back and you cuddled up to his side. Your head rested on his bare chest and your arms hugged around his stomach, pulling him as close as you could.

“So,” he starts, his arms folded behind his head and a crooked grin adorning his face, “was I the biggest you’ve taken, or does that happen with all the guys you bring home?”

You furrow your brows in confusion as you turn your head to look at him. “What do you mean?” you manage to mumble out.

“I mean, how tight you were. And how you couldn’t take all of me at first,” he says, like it was obvious.

“Well, in sex-ed they said the first time usually hurts. This wasn’t as bad as I was expecting though, just kinda stung a little bit at first,” you explain, laying your head flat against him once more and scraping at the nail on your index finger with your thumb.

Eddie stops moving and is quiet for a good thirty seconds. You start to feel a trickling of doubt, and become anxious that you somehow said the wrong thing. He reaches up to take your hand in his, effectively stopping your nervous finger picking and stealing your attention. When you glance back up at him he’s staring at you with wide eyes and an open mouth.

“Princess,” he says slowly, like somehow you were the one in this situation not making any sense, “You’re not telling me that was your first time.”

Oh. You suppose that was a pretty important tidbit of information you withheld that he probably would’ve liked to have known before you engaged in intercourse. In your defense, there was no reason for him to assume you weren’t a virgin. You only graduated high school the year prior, and during your time at Hawkins you never had a serious boyfriend. Even when you were being crowned prom queen, your date to the dance was James McKenna, and he came out as gay the week after graduation before moving to New York. Sure, you were privy to the rumors thrown around in the boy’s locker room about what you did to this guy under the bleachers and what you did to that guy at Skull Rock, but there was no more gossip surrounding you than the average cheerleader.

“I’m sorry,” you apologize, suddenly feeling guilty for not being completely transparent. “I guess I just thought you knew, or like, would be able to tell?” you say, your intonation changing to a questioning lilt by the end of your sentence.

He starts blinking his wide eyes frantically, his head shaking in disbelief as he tries to think of what to say. That self conscious dread from earlier starts to sneak it’s way back in, and you begin having second thoughts, worrying if he- like your high school friends- thought it was weird that you waited to have sex. He must have noticed the fear in your eye, because he held you tighter against him and comfortingly rubbed up and down your forearm.

“It’s nothing bad, I promise,” he says, speaking quickly. “I guess I just assumed. I mean, you were so popular. Everyone wanted you, anyone would have been lucky to have you-” you smile and blush at his words- “And those guys on the basketball team were always bragging and telling stories-”

“If a plate of spaghetti grew legs and started walking around, those guys would claim that they fucked it. Why would you listen to that noise?” you interjected, your annoyance clear.

He held his hands up in defense. “You’re right, I don’t know why I believed any of that crap. I know you have better taste than that. I mean, you like me, so that proves you have a much more sophisticated taste in men.”

“Sophisticated is one word for it, I guess,” you mumble while rolling your eyes, before sitting up to grab your nightie from the foot of the bed.

“If you weren’t active, why were you on the pill?” he questions you while rubbing your back.

“I’m a grown woman. I figured it was going to happen eventually, and I wanted to make sure I was ready when it did,” you answer distractedly as you work on turning your pajamas the right side out.

Eddie hums in understanding but is otherwise quiet as he watches you redress yourself, except for a cheeky wolf whistle when you need to bend over to pick up your panties. Once you're covered up again, you turn around to see him staring at you in amusement.

“What?” you ask with a smile, climbing back onto the bed and throwing a leg over his thighs, settling onto his lap. The tips of your noses brush against each other as you see that gleam in his eyes you recognize as him trying to stifle laughter when teasing you. “What is it?” you repeat, shoving him gently on his chest before looping your arms around his neck.

He shakes with silent laughter then leans back to quirk a brow at you. “A plate of spaghetti?” he asks. You grab a pillow to hit him in the head with, but drop it when you’re tackled and pinned down, giggling and kicking your feet as he kisses up your collar bone.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson smut #stranger things x reader #stranger things x you #stranger things fanfic #stranger things smut

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sturniolobsessed · 8 months

Text

CHAMPAGNE AND SUNSHINE - M.STURNIOLO

Warnings : smut!, established relationship, p in v, physical touch, kissing, use of alcohol, use of pet names, shower sex, bedroom sex, teasing, driving kink, oral (male receiving)

Summary : after a bougie date with Matt, you head home and have some extra fun to round off the night

Authors note : I have a feeling that I’m gonna love writing this one (b4 I write)

Creds to @claudia-sturns for the idea

This fic is based completely off the song “champagne and sunshine” by PLVTINUM

Pink is y/n

Blue is Matt

Bold is song lyrics

Italics is thoughts

________________________________________

Matt’s POV

As me and y/n lay under the warm sun, hand in hand, I had never felt more at home

I looked over to her with a smile on my face and blush on my cheeks

She has tanned skin and light eyes, oh my she’s so damn fine

I wonder everyday how this beautiful goddess of a woman is my girlfriend

She got that rich girl, LA vibe and I love it, it means I get to spoil her more

I see her turn to look at me, her eyes being illuminated by the sun, and she has the cutest smile

She leans in to press her lips to mine and I instantly let her, leaning in the rest of the way and connecting our lips softly

“You make the best dates, my love.”

“Thank you, darling. Do you want me to pour you some champagne?”

“Please.”

I smile and lean over to the picnic basket, grabbing the bottle of expensive champagne

I pour us both glasses and I hand her one of them

“Cheers.”

“Cheers baby, to us.”

“To us.”

We clink our glasses together before taking a sip

I gaze over at my girlfriend, love in my eyes

“Come sit on my lap.”

She flashes me that gorgeous smile of hers before sliding over onto my lap

I put my hands on her thighs to hold her in place

I lean in closer, kissing on her neck while we laying under sunlight

[Timeskip]

Y/n’s POV

After long hours of kissing, drinking champagne and tanning under the sun, me and Matt head home

He starts to pack away all of the foods, drinks and the picnic blanket away into the basket

I stand up, dusting myself off and helping Matt to his feet

I feel his hand slip into mine, our fingers intertwining sweetly as we make our way over to the car

“Baby?”

“Yes, gorgeous?”

“Can I drive?”

He doesn’t reply but he simply gives me a look that tells me “no”

“Oh come onnn… please?”

I give him the puppy dog eyes, tilting my head to the side and taking both of his hands in mine

“Ugh fine! I can’t say no to that cute ass face.”

I smile and he places a little peck upon the top of my nose, grabbing my waist a little

Matt’s POV

I finally give in and let y/n drive, putting the picnic basket in the back seat and then getting into the passenger seat myself

I’m not used to sitting in the passenger seat because I’m always driving

Between me and my triplet brothers, Nick and Chris, I am the only one who can drive

It’s always, me in the drivers seat, Chris in the passenger seat and Nick in the back

But this time, I have to settle for passenger seat.. but I’ll do it cause I know she loves to drive

Anyway, I hop in the car next to her and let my head fall back onto the headrest, closing my eyes

She starts up the car and I peel my eyes open, watching as her delicate fingers steer the wheel

And how when she looks back to reverse, the light shines so beautifully on her tanned face

Also the way that her mouth falls so delicately open when she’s concentrating on the road

She looks so utterly perfect right now and I can’t help to think some dirty thoughts

“What would those fingers feel like around my dick?”

“What would that mouth taste like after she’s sucked my cock?”

I feel myself harden within my trousers, a large tent forming under my jeans

Y/n’s POV

As we are about 5 minutes from home, I gaze over to Matt and I see him writhing within his seat

“You alright, baby?”

“Yeah… just a little uncomfortable..”

I look evidently confused until I clock on, glancing down towards his crotch

“Oh baby, what’s got you going?”

“You..”

I smirk, placing my hand on his thigh to tease him

I decide to put my foot down a little, speeding up a couple notches so we can get home a little quicker

He starts to squirm more and I let my hand slide up and down his thigh

His head falls back against the headrest again, his eyes screwing shut

[Timeskip]

Matt’s POV

We finally reach the front door and I get out the car as quick as possible, racing to the house

Y/n follows behind me as well, leaving everything in the car

I quickly unlock the house and run up the stairs, kicking the door closed behind me

I reach my room and grab y/n by the waist, picking her up into my arms and kissing her aggressively

Our lips clash together harmonically, both of our eyes closing as my tongue gently slips into her mouth

“You’re so hot, baby.”

“Says you.”

She jumps down and undoes my jeans, lips still on mine

I giggle as she pulls me down to the floor, both of us falling with a crash

We both help each other get undressed, still with our lips still pressed firmly together

Once we are both undressed, I press her down onto the floor and spread her legs with my knee

“You ready?”

She nods and I lean down to kiss her on the forehead before I slide myself into her

Y/n’s POV

I feel Matt’s lips press to forehead and then his dick slowly slide inside my tight hole

His thrusts immediately start, not giving me any time to adjust to his size

“So fucking tight.”

I let out a loud moan as he speeds up his pace, his hand around my neck to hold me down

I arch my back as the pleasure slowly takes over my body

His thrusts slowly get faster and I can tell he is close

I clench around his dick, letting him know that I am close too

“You gonna cum?”

I nod, my eyes rolling back in my head and a loud moan escapes my lips

“Words baby.”

“Y-yes.. I’m s-so close.”

“Cum with me baby.”

And with that, I finish all over his dick as his warm cum shoots inside of me

His thrusts slow down as he helps me ride out my high before he pulls out

“Good girl, took it so well.”

Matt’s POV

I pull out of her and I lean down to kiss her soft lips, whispering praise in her ear

“Come on, love. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

I pick her up off the floor, her legs shaking after her euphoric orgasm

Carrying her to the bathroom, her arms link around my neck and she starts kissing my neck again

I feel her sucking on my skin, clearly trying to give me a hickey

“Baby.. please.”

“What?”

“I can’t be arsed to hide a hickey.”

“Then don’t.”

She winks at me and I feel her legs stop shaking as I hold her, walking to the bathroom

I roll my eyes playfully and her lips let go of my neck, making a dark bruise on the skin

I accidentally glance at the mirror and I catch a view of the massive hickey she’s given me

“Y/nnnn..”

“Sorry.”

She giggles and hops in the shower, pulling me in with her

The hot water hits our sensitive skin and I can’t help stare at her beautiful body, her tits staring me right in the face

She lets her arms link around my neck again, her body pressing up against mine

“Round 2?”

I look down into her eyes and I see a hint of lust, along with love and care

“I’m really sensitive right now, love.”

“Pleaseeee?”

I don’t have time to disagree before she is on her knees in front of me, her hands wrapped around my cock

“No more- no more.”

“Come on Matty, you can do it.”

My eyes softly close as I feel her lips wrap around my dick, my tip hitting the back of her throat

I let out a loud moan as I feel her head bob up and down, her eyes still focused on mine

I finish a lot quicker this time because I am already sensitive, my cum shooting down her throat

She pulls her mouth away and looks at me with a smirk, swallowing it all

I place my hand on her face, gently stroking her cheek as she wipes her mouth

“Let’s get you cleaned up, ey?”

She winks at me and pressed another long kiss to my lips before helping me clean off my body

________________________________________

Taglist : @astrolynnworld @mangoposts

#sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #smut

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shalomniscient · 7 months

Note

hello! can i request some ruan mei filth with sub reader 🤭🤭

ask and ye shall recieve 🫡🫡 sorry this took a while, i'm personally used to imagining ruan mei as a power bottom, so writing her as a dom took a little longer to cook LOL

good god, let me give you my life || ruan mei x reader [NSFT][MDNI]

cw. vibrators, fingering, praise, mild bondage

notes. sev try not to name fics after take me to church lyrics challenge (impossible) also sorry again anon this turned more introspective than my filth normally gets.....................

On a lonely planet at the edge of the universe, Ruan Mei gazes down on you like a goddess. Your hands are bound above your head, clasped together as if in prayer as pleasure creeps like vines up and down your body. This bed is the altar, you the sacrifice. You wouldn't have it any other way, especially when Ruan Mei ups the intensity of the vibrator between your legs, causing you to arch your back with a breathless gasp.

"Sweet thing," she murmurs, her voice drifting like leaves in the wind, "look at you."

Her finger trails up and along the left side of your body, from the bone of your hip, higher and higher until she reaches the curve of your breast. Her hand lingers there for a moment, warm against your left rib, before she cups your breast, swiping a thumb over your stiff bud. You whine at her touch, trying to chase the sensation, squirming against your bindings.

"Please," you whisper. "Please, please, I need you—"

Ruan Mei coos gently at your begging, her other hand coming to brush the hair out of your eyes. When you look up at her, desperate, with those lovely, teary, pleading eyes, how could she ever deny you?

You cry out her name as her hand slips lower and she pushes the buzzing toy just a little deeper into your slick cunt. It nudges against that spot inside you, and your thighs snap shut around her hand as explosions burst behind your eyelids, a big bang breathed to life by a loving god. Ruan Mei's gentle praises are echoing, distant as you float on that cosmic high.

When you finally come back down, Ruan Mei has shut off the toy and tenderly withdraws it from your sensitive cunt. It comes away with a wet, slick noise and you shiver at the sensation, your leg kicking out reflexively at the overstimulation. Ruan Mei squeezes your thigh in consolation, then lies down next to you, undoing the bindings on your wrists.

"Are you alright?" she asks softly, and you nod, your tongue feeling too heavy to form words. Instead you nuzzle close to her, your arms winding around her waist as your breath begins to even out again.

It’s moments like these, the quiet afterglow, that Ruan Mei wonders why you’re here—with her, at the edge of the universe. It is not an insecurity; no, Ruan Mei does not doubt that you love her. She does not need to test for that. She knows it, innately, intrinsically. But it is a sort of… morbid curiousity, in a sense.

One day, she will leave you—become something beyond comprehension, beyond your reach. Possibly, she’d forget you entirely. There’s always been a countdown on this love, and you know it.

So, why? Why stay, when it would be better, easier, safer, to leave?

It’s your voice that draws her out of her swirling thoughts. Your cup her cheek, affection bleeding through the smile you offer her.

“I can hear you thinking,” you murmur. “What’s on your mind?”

She contemplates deflecting the question. But Ruan Mei is a scientist above all else, and she cannot bear unanswered questions. Uncertainties. So she takes a deep breath, and asks, “why do you stay?”

You consider her for a moment, then tilt your head curiously. “What do you mean?”

“Why do you stay?” Ruan Mei repeats. “You know what I desire to achieve. Once those desires reach fruition… there will be nothing left of us. Of this.”

“Won’t there?” you counter after a beat of silence, seeming almost amused. “All Aeons have their followers.”

“You would walk upon my Path?”

You laugh at that. “Well, I love you. So haven’t I already?”

Ruan Mei falls silent. In the end, what’s the difference between love and faith? How might the reception of devotion differ between a god and a man? Does it? Maybe this is the link between divine and mundane that she’s been searching for. Maybe part of the heavens she’s trying so hard to reach is simply lying next to you, in this bed, in this lab-turned-home at the edge of the universe.

For now, she files these thoughts away, and kisses you again. Her lips taste like plum pastries, sweet and inviting. She kisses you slowly, mapping the shape of your lips, comitting every dip and countour to her memory. She wants to weave you within her, embroider the image of you into the tapestry of her existence so that she won’t forget a single thing.

(A foolish notion. You already are.)

You moan into her mouth and she swallows it greedily, like a fledgling god hungry for faith. Her hand travels down your body again until her fingers find your pussy, still slick with your own cum. You whine as she drags her finger through your soaked folds, her thumb rubbing on your clit.

“A-Ruan,” you breathe out, and Ruan Mei trembles. You say her name like a prayer, like she’s already divine. Distantly she thinks, as she sinks two fingers into your tight, welcoming heat, that it’s the epithet she cherishes most, because it’s the one that names your love. You grip her shoulder and cry out as she works her fingers in and out of your cunt, oozing wetness like ambrosia. Your back arches as she curls her fingers just right against that spongy spot. She kisses your neck as she feels your muscles tense around her fingers.

“Let go for me,” she whispers against your skin like a commandmenf. “Let go, sweet thing.”

You cum with a wordless scream, your nails dragging down her smooth back. She slows the movements of her fingers as she helps you ride out the orgasm, slower and slower until she finally withdraws. Your eyes are shut and your breathing laboured from your second orgasm of the night, but you have never looked more beautiful to Ruan Mei.

“I love you,” she says quietly, pressing her forehead against yours. You offer her a smile like a sacrament, and for a moment she’s terrified that you’d ask her to stay—terrified that she’ll say yes. But you don’t, and instead your return those words to her, pure like revelation.

You will be the only thing she’ll regret leaving behind. But for now, while she has you here in her arms, she’ll cherish you more than anything else.

#sev.writes #[nsft]#ruan mei x reder #ruan mei smut #too many divine themes........... i fear i may have lost it a little #too much plot in this filth #sorry anon 😔😔😔#ruan mei the woman that you are #u r the reason i must take mandatory ethics classes #anyway.#i wrote this instead of sleeping #if it’s ooc then. idk. sorry #perhaps i should go to bed

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am-i-interrupting · 6 months

Note

Hello! I really love your work, I just HAD to pop in your inbox after seeing your fics about Alastor's daughter.

What if Alastor's daughter is an angel that is scared of demons.

Like, when they were alive, Alastor's daughter used to be such a sweet child and I mean SWEET. Would never hurt a soul. Though she got killed at a young age because of envious children her age, left her in the forest to scare her but she got mauled by wolves and died.

Before she died, she was aware of Alastor's killings but she wouldn't speak up because she was too scared. IMAGINE ALASTOR BEING SUCH A LOVING DAD BUT ALL SHE CAN THINK ABOUT IS WHAT IF SHES NEXT IF SHE FUCKS UP AROUND HIM.

And he's not aware that she thinks that way. So when Sera sent her to investigate the Hazbin Hotel (to see if Charlie's theory is really true) she sees Alastor and gets tense even though he's so sincere around her.

How would everything gooo omg I'd like to see how creative you'll get!!

You never hurt a soul and that’s what helped you get into heaven.

You loved your father. You did but you were also terrified of him.

He was a serial killer, a murderer, and even if he tucked you into bed at night and made the best food, you could still be next.

You felt guilty the day he died because while you were heartbroken you were also so relieved.

You confessed to the police his sins as soon as they came to the house to break the news of his death.

You were crying, choking on tears as you told them everything.

It was the best and worst day of your life.

Despite that, life remained difficult for you.

People were cruel and mean and heartless and you died before the age of twenty.

You made it to Heaven.

You were a top winner, one revered for their kindness.

That’s how you got asked by Sera to go to Hell to observe Charlie’s idea first hand. Her being too untrusting of the angels to not start killing and “sanitizing” Hell as soon as they got there.

You were excited. You met Charlie while she was in Heaven.

She was somewhat of a kindred spirit. You got on with her well.

(Alastor actually does reminisce over you and his mother both in Hell. The lyric “You’re like a child that I wish that I had” in Hells Greatest Dad would have been changed to “You’re like the child which I used to have.”)

You went through the portal with her and Vaggie.

Both girls seemed conflicted, something must have happened during the meeting they had with the angels but Charlie quickly put on a smile and started explaining what everything was.

When you get to the Hotel, you seem him. You never thought you’d see your father again. You weren’t sure you wanted to even if you missed him. You immediately froze.

His brows furrowed as he looked at you before his smile widened, sharp teeth replacing the human ones you once knew but they were still coffee-stained.

“Is that my darling angel?” he asked as he walked towards you. “My dear, look how you’ve grown.”

He used the tips of his fingers to angle your face towards him and you couldn’t pull away. You were frozen in place, looking at him with wide eyes.

“You two know each other?” Charlie asked.

“Why yes, we do indeed,” Alastor said. “You recall I mentioned having a child.”

“Oh my god! Oops, sorry. Don’t use the lord’s name in vain and all. But this is so great!”

“Yeah,” you said meekly. “So great.”

Alastor would notice something wrong. He remembers your behaviors well. He’d try to make you comfortable while unknowingly pressing your buttons more.

Everyone else also notices something wrong, except Niffty.

Sir Pentious and Charlie likely think you’re just anxious and try to make you feel as comfortable and welcomed as possible.

Vaggie assumes it’s because you’re in Hell.

Husk and Angel realize it’s because Alastor’s there.

The two team up to make sure you’re never ever left completely alone.

They even manage to pull you away for a bit.

Husk offers some good advice and true silence not filled with the background of a radio crackling.

Angel let’s you bury your head in his fluff.

#alastor x reader #hazbin alastor x reader

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zombiigrll · 4 months

Text

FORWARDS, BECKON, REBOUND ⋆｡°✩ carl grimes x reader "thinking, i'm not afraid of you now. i'm not afraid of you now." .ᐟ WORD COUNT .ᐟ ⭑ 1.1K ꩜ .ᐟ WARNINGS ⭑ fluff + comfort, reader is recovering from an e/d, e/d references?, weight talk, skinny dipping (NOT SEXUAL.), body positivity, petnames, and mostly just happy stuff :3 .ᐟ SUMMARY .ᐟ ⭑ for years you've struggled with your body, focusing on all the little things you could do to change it. but after you had met carl, he began helping you recover. ꩜ .ᐟ A/N .ᐟ ⭑ this is one of my favorite songs EVER. i had to make a fic based off of it<3 i looked up the meaning and it said something about skinny dipping/revealing your body to your partner for the first time but i don't write smut so i thought i could just make it cute instead ! also this is only really based of verse 1 and verse 3 :] lyrics look like this!

──────────────────────────────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────────────────────────────────────

you grew up in alexandria and continued to live there through the apocalypse with your not-so-amazing family. they’d always make harmful comments to you about your body, putting a pressure on you that you ‘needed to be perfect,’ as if anyone cared besides themselves.

‘y/n, slow down. you’re eating like a pig.’ they’d frequently tell you.

this effected you further after they had died on a useless expedition, and the last thing you could think of was how much they would talk about your weight.

so, there you were. for the next couple of years, you did anything and everything possible to make yourself ‘perfect.’ the thing that kept you going was the fact that no one seemed to notice, or they just didn’t care.

but then you found someone who did.

one of the people from the group aaron had found, a boy named carl grimes.

you two clicked after you came up to introduce yourself when they first entered. you said hi, he said hi, and the two of you just hit it off afterwards. rick sent him off with you so you could give him a tour of alexandria.

at first, he didn’t notice on your unhealthily thin frame due to the baggy clothes that had laid over it. but as you started dating, he noticed.

he noticed your eating habits, your often trips to the bathroom, how your tiny your body felt when he hugged you... he didn’t know how to help, but he tried to pay close attention to what you were eating and trying to get you to eat more. he'd ask if you were going to finish your food or if you wanted more, trying to do anything he could think of to help you.

and thats when you realized how he noticed- that he cared. he hadn't confronted you until you ran off to the bathroom, and this time he followed you. as you exited, there he stood, right behind the doorframe. your eyes widened and you stood there shocked.

"are you okay?" he raised his eyebrow and crossed his arms against his chest, his voice having a genuinely worried tone to it. that broke you. your eyes began flooding with tears as you jumped into his arms, apologizing through your sobs. "i-i'm.. i'm s.. so sorry.."

he held you tightly, "don't be, y/n, don't apologize. you have nothing to be sorry for." he ran his fingers through your hair as he spoke softly. "im here for you, always, no matter what. i'll help you."

and ever since that day, he did just that. helping you recover, through the bad days and the good. you still felt odd and uncomfortable, your families voices occasionally ringing back in your ears on some days. but carl helped you navigate through it, sticking by your side every day to make you were okay.

...

a month or so had passed and carl decided to take you on a date. a date to the lake.

you were worried. after all of this you still hadn't shown carl your body. he never asked, though. he didn't think that he had to. but you were glad he gave you this opportunity, and either way, you told him you wanted to go. this was your choice in the end. he made that very clear that he wanted you to be comfortable, that he'd leave instantly if you said you wanted to.

"we're here." he beamed, stopping the car.

you slowly stepped out of the car, nervously walking up to carl's side.

"hey.." he took your hand and interlocked your fingers together. "don't be scared."

you looked up at him and gave him a smile before the two of you walked up to the lake. he glanced back at you and noticed you standing there, messing with your fingers nervously. he looked down at his feet before taking his hat off and setting it down next to the lake. followed after by his flannel, shirt, pants, and boxers. he walked into the water, shivering at the coldness as you stared back at him nervously.

"whenever you're ready. tell me if you want to go back home, okay?" he reassured.

over the dead sea, keeping you company.

you stood there for a second, thinking about all the possible outcomes. what if he see's your body for the first time and he hates it? you were standing there silently with these thoughts roaming in your head.

but you remembered, he had an idea on what your body looked like. through your hugs, the very rare times after you started recovering that you would wear baggy shorts, all of that. and he still loved you. i mean, he helped you recover. he's seen practically every side of you already. you felt your body calm down. thinking, "i'm not afraid on you now. i'm not afraid of you now."

you nodded, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath in before removing your clothes.

letting my eyes close. shedding my soft clothes. you covered up your body with your hands as you stepped into the water, moving to carl's side. he grabbed your hands and moved them so you weren't covering your body. "you have nothing to be ashamed of, pretty girl." he smiled, interlocking your fingers together once again. the two of you stepped further into the lake, your bottom halves being covered by the water.

"you okay?" he softly checked in.

you chuckled, a smile plastering onto your face. "..yeah."

wind blows, wind that howls like a hound. wind that laughs like a clown.

"let me know if it's too much, okay?" he told you, giving you a comforting smile.

the two of you stayed hand in hand as you got used to the cold air on your bare bodies, unsure what to say or how to react.

he brought his hands up to cup your face, smiling at you happily, admiring your beauty. even if you didn't think you were beautiful, he always had. and he always would. to him, you were the most stunning person he had ever laid his eyes upon. even seeing you as you were dating made him flustered. he'd often think about how lucky he was to be dating someone like you. a sweet, kind, loving girl like you, in a crazy, unforgiving world like this. "i love you." he said, his voice soft, but happy as he pulled you in for a kiss, your plush lips dancing with his.

pulling your face close, wanting the inmost.

you felt calm, at peace. finally. after all those years of struggling, thinking that that was how you were going to die, and that ended up not being the case because you were lucky enough to have this boy, who came out of nowhere. it must've been fate.

show me, i'm not afraid of you now. i'm not afraid of you now.

─────────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────────────────

#🌙 — maxines fics #carl grimes #carl grimes x reader #carl grimes x y/n #carl grimes fanfiction #the walking dead #twd #the walking dead fanfiction #twd fanfiction #the walking dead x reader #the walking dead x y/n #fluff #carl grimes oneshot #carl grimes imagine #the walking dead imagine #the walking dead oneshot

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eternal-ascensionism · 3 months

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Song Fic maybe???

Hii! I have a request for you, its a Bucky Barnes x avenger!reader idea with the song "Love Again" by Dua Lipa. Where maybe reader has been through some tough/ toxic relationships and swears off of romance once they joined the avengers but then when Bucky returns from Wakanda the reader begins to develope a crush on Bucky as he flirts with them after having a crush on her from the moment he met them. Maybe the reader thoughts align with the lyrics of the song and in the end the reader lets their heart open and starts dating Bucky after he knocks down all of thier walls :) (Also reader can be female or GN and I tried to give you some like guide but didn't want to restrict you!) Hope you have a good day :D

Ok first anon I love you sm for puttin me on this song it BANGS and I love this idea sm!!!

This is technically more like avengers assistant!reader because I suck at finding cohesive ways to fit an original character into the avengers team ((I have tried since I was 16 LMAO)) but hopefully it still works! Hope you enjoy!

Heaven’s Right Here, Baby

Bucky x Avenger!Reader

Themes: Angst, comfort, fluff

Warnings:Angst; discussions of: war, PTSD, abusive relationships, trauma bonding, etc. (if you pick up on any I’ve missed pleeease let me know!!)

💗

I glance upward as I hear the rumble above, eyes squinting against the sun’s rays. For some unknown reason, I’d been expecting some grand aircraft; a sleek jet or maybe one of the large helicarriers I’d seen in the hangar back at the Avengers’ HQ when I first arrived. What I was met with was a rather modest plane I’d estimate could fit ten passengers at best. It didn’t really matter, I knew the man aboard couldn’t care less about materialism or prestige. Still, he was one of our team’s brightest and most respected members. It simply felt odd to receive him back via such underwhelming conditions.

Up until this point, I’d only ever worked basic civilian jobs or the occasional temp gig. However after a particularly traumatic breakup, I’d decided that being miserable and barely living above the poverty line wasn’t cutting it anymore. It took a good few years and a considerable amount of ass kissing, but I eventually got offered a role as an assistant of sorts for Nick Fury in New York City.

Natasha was the first person I’d found myself bonding with; the first night I’d spent in the tower was a long one, and she had spent a large chunk of it comforting me by making me laugh with her Captain America impression. Funnily enough, I’d meet Steve Rogers the next morning in the kitchen. He walked into the kitchen and shook my hand, exchanging names and pleasantries with me as the rest of the team filtered in. I watched anxiously as they all began to dig into the food; I couldn’t pinpoint why, but I found myself desperate to impress each of my new coworkers.

Introductions were made, meals were finished, and I beamed at the compliments toward my cooking. To my surprise the conversations seemed to flow naturally. I couldn’t help but linger on one man in particular, though. His metal arm gleamed brilliantly in the lighting of the spacious dining area. He was a man of few words. Bucky, they called him. The next month consisted of me making a fool of myself through several missions, distracted each time by that smolder and the tortured look behind his eyes. It was a look I knew all too well. Still, I didn’t dare approach sergeant Barnes out of fear. Whether it be fear of authority or my lingering fear of men, I wasn’t sure. Didn’t make much difference; the less interactions, the better. The last thing I needed was to get in over my head during what’s meant to be my fresh start.

Today was his return from the last stage of a program for training and rehab that began long before I came into the picture. From what I understood, it all began a few years back when the late King T’Challa harbored Bucky; partly as a favor to Steve, and partly out of respect for the sergeant. He saw James Buchanan Barnes beyond the outgrown hair and the guarded demeanor. He saw someone worth fighting to save. By the time I’d arrived, his reserved nature had let up a bit. We both exhibit similar acts such as hypervigilance, but I suppose that’ll always remain in some small way. We’re part of the team tasked with ensuring the safety of earth, after all.

I wave a hand to Bucky as he steps off the walkway, a bag slung over his shoulder. When he sees me and the team, he shoots us a small grin. It wasn’t until he made it halfway across the asphalt that I registered the changes of his left arm. The once scuffed and faded titanium had been replaced with a new, higher quality gold and silver prosthetic.

“Vibranium,” Bucky offers, having picked up on my stare. “Shuri helped me.”

I felt a pang in my chest as he looked at it proudly. It was the same ache I’d gotten every time I’d bore witness to sergeant Barnes letting pieces of his real self shine through. I could try and lie to myself, but I’m grown. I know what it means to have feelings for someone. As much as I’d fought to stay neutral from the beginning, something about Bucky had always pulled at my heart. I would never let him know, but he’d melted some part of me that I’d spent years freezing out. Still, I’d vowed to keep to the professional relationship I’ve created with the former soldier. I couldn’t risk letting something like random feelings of fondness jeopardize my job. I am here to help others and to run away from my demons, nothing more and nothing less.

“I never thought that I would find a way out, I never thought I’d hear my heart beat so loud. I can’t believe there’s something left in my chest anymore”

Upon our entry to the tower, we were met by the quiet humming of music. Puzzled, we all made our way to the lounge area where we found Tony behind the bar in the corner. He raised a glass of amber-colored liquid in our direction as a greeting. “Welcome back, Barnes. Dig the new scrap pieces.”

Bucky rolled his eyes and pointed to the speakers built into the tall ceiling overhead. “Thanks. What’s with the music?” Swinging around the bar to stand in front of us, Tony smirked.

“What? Can’t we have a little homecoming celebration? We missed you, bud.” Before he could reply, Natasha interjected, grabbing Tony’s free hand.

“In that case, let’s dance. You’ve only got six months before your wedding and Pepper is gonna kill you if you step on her white heels.”

I watch in glee as Nat drags Tony away to the open space near the couch to practice his moves for the big day. Everyone branched off into pairs, leaving me standing at the bar with a can of soda while Bucky perched on the arm of the recliner. These little moments of joy made being alive less painful each day. I continued observing my teammates for a while before hearing someone clear their throat from beside me. “Wanna dance, doll?”

The low timbre gave him away without so much as a sideways glance. It was sergeant Barnes. Asking me to dance. With him. Ignoring the cold sensation shooting through my veins, I threw him a smile and nodded. Offering me a hand, we make our way over to the spot where the others are swaying to the crooning of an early 1900s love song. With the way Bucky and Steve perked up as it came on, I’d be willing to bet they were grooving to it back in the days of its first release. The thought warms my heart, and I risk placing my head on Bucky’s shoulder as we let the music guide us. Maybe trusting him for one dance wouldn’t hurt. Maybe it’s okay to let my guard down just this once.

“I never knew I had it in me to dance anymore, but god damn, you’ve got me in love again.”

Love. That’s what it was. I hated to admit it to myself, it scared me to the point of lost sleep and vomiting, quite frankly. But I couldn’t bear pretending any more. Bucky had been back in New York for all of two weeks before we started being sent on missions together to gather intel on a potential threat. I didn’t know the details, they only ever told me what was absolutely necessary to carry out a job. They explained it was so that if I were to be caught, I could play dumb as a simple civilian caught up in bigger matters on accident. You never know what tactics someone may have to pull the truth from you, but there’s nothing to be extracted if I truly know nothing. However, at the current moment, I wished for little more than to be pulled from this room and dragged elsewhere. I tear my eyes from my debrief notes to stare back at the disheveled man sat across from me. I had yet to fully process what he asked.

“What?” His frown deepens, and I almost regret asking him to repeat himself.

“Do you think I’m someone you could love?”

I was completely taken aback. Sure, the sergeant and I had some pretty deep conversations in the past. We weren’t incredibly close before his return, both of us being highly traumatized and reserved people; but pair long missions with hours spent staring off into the night watching for movement and we had begun to fill the void. He relayed stories of war and torture, and I recounted memories of toxic relationships and a traumatic childhood. It only seemed natural that we eventually progressed into becoming each other’s confidant over the last few months. When we accepted the latest task I expected us to exchange banter, maybe make up some new inside jokes. I didn’t expect it to devolve into a raw and emotional conversation about our past hurts and shortcomings. Bucky had opened up about the women he’d met before the war, branching off into a story where he’d tried to make something work with a woman he’d met briefly in Romania before he’d had to go back on the run. I could see the pain in his expression, I could hear the slight waver in his voice as he tried making sense of where he’d gone wrong in life to deserve it all.

Then he looked up at me, those big grey-blue eyes shining with unshed tears, and he asked me the one question that I know will change everything. Is he someone I could love? When he asked, I realized I already know the answer. I already know I love him.

“Yes.” He blinks at me, seemingly in shock, but I just continue. “I don’t have to think about it, Buck. I love you because you are worthy of being loved. I love you because you are inherently lovable. I love how you care about people, I love how you fight fiercely to protect them. I love how intelligent you are, and how you never use that against others. I love how you make me feel safe. I love how you’ve never given me a reason to question your motives like all the other men I’ve let into my life. I love you, and I didn’t even think I could love again.” I dabbed my sleeve over the wetness pooling under my eyes, chuckling at my own intense reaction. Discussing my feelings was never easy, but it just came naturally with Bucky.

Two hands came up to hold my cheeks as Bucky looked at my face, perhaps studying me for any sign of deceit or sarcasm. I meant every word, though. He wrapped me up in a tight hug, and after he pulled back, I felt a sudden confidence. I leaned in and pressed a soft peck to his stubble-covered cheek, delighting in the light red tint that washed over his face.

“I love you too, doll. I didn’t wanna scare you away, you mean the world to me. Just didn’t imagine you’d feel the same. Not that I’d blame you, with what you’ve told me about the others I wouldn’t blame ya if you never spoke to a man again.” Bucky laid a gentle kiss to the back of my hand that still rested in his. “Honored to be the one you trust.”

“Never have I ever met somebody like you, used to be afraid of love and what it might do. But god damn, you’ve got me in love again”

—!—

HELLO I REALLY HOPE THIS WAS WHAT YOU WANTED! I’m sorry it took me so long to finish I kept branching off with different ideas before settling on one cohesive concept and hopefully I did a decent job following your prompt! Thank you sooo much for the request this was super fun to write and honestly kickstarted my productivity which has been in the shitter since like pre 2020 lmao bless you guys <333

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #avengers x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #fluff #mcu fanfiction #mcu bucky barnes #bucky barnes angst #< mmm my favorite

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look-at-the-soul · 1 year

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Hi! I'm new to the Peaky fandom and am in need of some Tommy fics because he's my favourite character! If your requests are open, (if not, there's no rush!) may I pretty please have a drabble or imagine -- whatever is easier -- with this gif?

*A little spice is okay, just nothing explicit. Also, my pronouns are she/her, but a gender neutral story is totally okay, too! :)

Thank you in advance!

Hello Jessyca! 🥰 Thank you so much for sending this gif!! I decided to make it part of Adele challenge using one of my favorite songs! (Lyrics in italics) 🔥🥰 edit and welcome to the fandom!! 🥰 I forgot to reply this sorry! I hope so far you’ve found incredible stories and lovely mutuals around (I’m always reblogging stories I really enjoy reading 💖)

🔥🔥🔥although the gif is extra hot, you’ll find nothing but fluffiness in this little story…

Women like me

By the corner of your eye, you found Mr. Shelby trying to catch his breath. Resting on his back against the pillows, he was looking at the ceiling completely lost in his own thoughts, his thumb rubbing absently between his brows.

You're driving me away, give me a reason to stay

I want to be lost in you, but not in this way

Don't think you quite understand who you have on your hands

How can you not see just how good for you I am?

In silence you started the same routine you knew by heart now; get up, get dressed and sneak out of his bedroom in silence, head down.

Ah, yes you were almost forgetting about his generous payment in between.

I know that you've been hurt before, that's why you feel so insecure

I begged you to let me in, 'cause I only want to be the cure

You could still feel his seed dripping down your legs, but tried to pick up your clothes scattered on the floor as gracefully as you could to get dress in the corner.

You’d been serving him for several months now, rumor has it Lizzie Stark wasn’t his mistress anymore because she got pregnant, so that was your job now; being Thomas Shelby’s whore.

Complacency is the worst trait to have, are you crazy?

You ain't never had, ain't never had a woman like me

But tonight there was something different, out of place. Mr. Shelby was still in the same position, his chest was now moving at a more normal pace. Looking at the floor, you felt embarrassed to ask for the money so you decided to pretend to fix your hair to see if he got the hint.

But he didn’t.

So after he longest seconds of your life, you decided to walk out without anything, feeling disappointed because you really needed to money to support your family. Perhaps he’d pay you double the next time, you thought to yourself but as you reached the door, his voice stopped you.

All you do is complain about decisions you make

“Y/N…” Your mouth hang open, surprised to hear him say your name.

“Is there a chance for you to stay all night?”

“I-I don’t know Mr. Shelby.” You stammered nervously, the instructions were clear; let him do whatever he wants, pick up your stuff and leave.

“You can call me Tommy… is there somewhere you need to go?”

Your eyes found his briefly, but you instantly dragged them down. “No, it’s just I’m not supposed to stay for the night.” You answered in a low voice.

“Why not?”

Feeling more embarrassed than ever, you didn’t want to point out the obvious, but as his intense blue eyes stared at you, you didn’t have another choice.

“Sir-Tommy,” you corrected yourself, “I’m just a whore.”

We come from the same place, but you will never give it up

It's where they make you feel powerful

That's why you think I make you feel small

But that's your projection, it's not my rejection

You knew that’s what you were, anyone could tell without even knowing you. But calling yourself that, hit you differently.

“Come here,” he extended his hand at you, and you didn’t have any other choice but take it and climb into bed again. “How long have you been coming here?”

“Six months.”

I put my heart on the line for the very first time

Because you asked me to, and now you've gone and changed your mind

But loving you was a breakthrough

You saw his head moving up and down slowly, but he was still oddly quiet.

He was still trying to organize the thoughts inside his mind as he saw you absently picking on your stockings. How could he put into words the way he felt about you?

“Y/N over the last couple of months, you’ve been the only one willing to spend some time with me, when everyone else finds an excuse to walk out the door, you’ve been the constant of my days, or nights for the matter.”

I saw what my heart can really do

Now some other man will get the love I have for you

'Cause you don't care, oh-oh-oh

Was he going to ask you to stop coming every night? You couldn’t speak, terrified of saying something that would piss him off. You had fallen for him secretly, blame it to the intimacy, the frequent late night calls, the way please took over him, but you did and deep down you knew it was all wrong.

“You’re not like the others, you don’t take and leave. You fill my glass with whiskey before you go or you pick up my clothes and fold them… you’ve listened to all my shit without judging me.”

Confused, you gave him a long look. “Tommy, what are you try-”

“I’ve feelings for you, Y/N.”

“That can’t be true, I’m a whore… men like you don’t fall in love with women like me.”

Consistency is the gift to give for free, and it is key

To ever keep, to ever keep a woman like me

“Women like you?” He was suddenly kneeling in bed in front of you, his hands cupping your cheeks. “Who says that?”

“Everybody knows that.”

This was just a fantasy, a dream. You were worthless, the worst of the worst.

“Just so you to know, I’m not so different than you… we just sell different parts of ourselves, Y/N.”

His eyes fixed on you, his intense gaze penetrating every layer, tearing down every single wall. And as he realized your guard was coming down, he pulled you in for a kiss, breaking the only rule you set when you first walked into his bedroom; no kissing.

That first kiss felt totally different to anything you’ve experienced until now, because men usually take what they want and leave right away, but Tommy took his time to explore your lips, the way they molded to his, tentatively, switching his pace and tilting his head from time to time as if he didn’t want to leave a single spot unattended.

He broke apart allowing you to take a deep breath, your head was spinning.

“Beneath, there’s a good woman, I just know it.” His knuckles carefully caressed your chin. You wanted to believe him, but you had been used in the past you no longer knew who you were.

He saw the hesitation in your eyes, so he took your hand and placed it over his heart. “Y/N I’m not going to hurt you, I genuinely fell for you, for he woman you are, for the little things I know about you… for the way you allowed me to be myself when the door is closed.”

He had been fighting it for so long, but with you he was allowed to strip down not only from his clothes, but from the heartless cold bastard he had to be in front of everyone else.

“Will you give me the chance?”

Looking down you fought against the lump that formed in your throat. “But how will you deal with my past and all the burden I’ve?”

“I’m not going to erase it, just like you can’t delete mine,” his fingers sunk in your disheveled curls, “but we can look forward and take it from there, together.”

As a single tear slid through your cheek, his thumb came to wipe it away, right before he crashed his lips once more and you believed him with all your heart because deep down you knew he was right.

A woman like you wasn’t so different than a man like him.

***

Master list

A/N: I’ve had this idea for a while now, guess it was time to post it, and I apologize because although I absolutely adore the concept I have been feeling a bit down and I’m not sure I was able to portray what I intended to…

Like always I’m so grateful if you decide to share your thoughts x

Tag list: @lyarr24 @runnning-outof-time @cillmequick @datewithgianni @cloudofdisney @gretelshelby @gypsy-girl-08 @lespendy @onlydeadcells @fastfan @stevie75 @rangerelik @prettylittlehoneyeyesxoxo @esposadomd @forbidden-forest-witch @ange-thoughts @moral-terpitude @elenavampire21 @forgottenpeakywriter @thenattitude @winchestergirl22 @zablife @heidimoreton @imichelle-l-rigby @allie131313 @already-broken144 @peakyscillian @babaohhhriley @mrkdvidal1989 @shelbydelrey @shaddixlife @sloanexx @sydneyyyya (can’t tag) @adaydreamaway08 @pono-pura-vida @thomashelbyswife @darleneslane @everythingelseisextra @kmc1989

#That’s what Cill said #tommy shelby imagine #tommy shelby fan fic #tommy shelby x fem!reader #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby x you #thomas shelby x reader #thomas shelby imagine #peaky blinders fanfiction #cillian murphy x reader

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kitten4sannie · 2 years

Text

𝖀𝖓𝖍𝖔𝖑ұ 𝕹𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙

Priest! San x Fem! Reader

Genre: absolute debauchery

Summary: You visit your local catholic church, in hopes of cleansing yourself of your sins, only to commit more. A lot more.

W.C: 3.9k

Warnings: switch! San, switch! reader, seduction, masterbation, exhibitionism, filthy dialogue, oral (giving), praise kink, cum swapping, grinding, spit play, name calling, degradation, unprotected sex, squirting, dumbification

Author's Note: Ahhh, it’s finally my favorite time of year! (🎵fiNaLLy nOw, iT’s mY tImE🎵) That means it’s time to unleash all kinds of depravity onto all of you 😋 This is so filthy, like I have absolutely no excuse for this 🤭 Also, why did this heal some of my religious trauma?? ajsjshgsshk

Enjoy, you sinners 🖤

P.S: I’ll be uploading my next (kinda) spooky fic on Oct 17th ✨

Song Rec: Devour by Mr. Kitty, I Wanna Be Your Slave by Maneskin (i chose this song simply because of the lyrics “I wanna be your sinner, wanna be a preacher” 😩🤌🏼)

Masterlist

➽───────────────❥

You got out of your car, immediately feeling a cold breeze rush past you, sending some of your hair into your face. After moving a few loose strands of hair that were obstructing your vision, your eyes focused on the large, somewhat intimidating cathedral that was towering over you. You sighed heavily, shutting your car door.

This was your last resort; you didn’t have any clue what to do with yourself if this didn’t work out in your favor. You couldn’t stand it anymore; the constant thirst you felt inside was slowly eating away at your sanity. You were incredibly desperate at this point, willing to do anything and everything to unbind yourself from your affliction.

After going up the small flight of stairs that led to the unusually opulent doors of the cathedral, you slowly pushed on one of them, hearing it creak loudly, making you wonder how old the building was. You poked your head in, not seeing anyone around, which made you hesitate, but you pressed on.

Once inside, you surveyed the church, taking in the unfamiliar surroundings. There were rows and rows of empty pews, all leading up to an impressive-looking altar, which was littered with white candles, all in various sizes, their flickering flames illuminating the otherwise dark interior.

“Hello?” you called out in a somewhat reserved tone, hearing your voice echo throughout the large building.

“Ah, I wasn’t expecting any visitors this late.”

You quickly turned your head to the side to see where the soft, yet unmistakably masculine voice was coming from. A youthful-looking man with oddly striking features, stark black hair, and a warm smile came into view. You assumed he was the priest, taking note of the all-black clerical clothing he had on.

You were about to speak, but your words were trapped inside your throat. His undeniable charm and grace had caught you off-guard, as well as his unintentional sex appeal. In your head, you had expected the priest to be some old man with a bald patch, not someone who was devilishly handsome. This unexpected turn of events certainly did not help quell the formidable amount of lust that was bubbling up inside of you. If anything, it was just fuel to the already-raging fire.

“I…um…wanted to see if you could help me with something I’ve been struggling with,” you replied in a hushed tone, taking a few slow steps in the man’s direction, swallowing nervously.

San nodded his head in an understanding manner, motioning to the confessional behind him. He slid open one side of it, saying, “If you wish to confess your sins first, then you may. It’s up to you, but allowing me to hear them might alleviate some of your guilt. It would also make it easier for me to help you.”

You followed after him and slid open the opposite side of the confessional, taking a step inside and sitting down on the cold wood seat below you. You felt goosebumps begin to form on your bare thighs, prompting you to move your hands past your skirt and onto your legs, rubbing them slowly, as a way to get rid of the sensation.

“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned,” you murmured in a shaky voice, feeling a few drops of sweat begin to cascade down your temples and along the curve of your neck.

“Go on, my child. Confess, so that you may be forgiven.” San leaned his back against the thin wood panel behind him, in order to get more comfortable, his hands resting on his upper thighs.

You inhaled and exhaled a few times, unable to escape the constant stream of debauchery that went through your head, which was persistently egging you on to do something that you might regret.

“So…I…um…can’t seem to stop thinking about sex, no matter what I do. I…constantly fantasize about the things I want to do to myself and to other people…even complete strangers,” you started, your fingers gripping the sides of your upper thighs. “Day and night, it’s the same thing. Even when I give in and indulge myself, whether on my own or with others, it…never seems to be enough.”

San shifted uncomfortably in the section next to you, his lips parting slightly as if he wanted to say something, but he remained quiet, letting you continue.

“And when I…when I’m getting fucked or when I fuck myself…I feel such intense pleasure, like it’s so overwhelming…I almost feel like I’m going to lose my mind…” you admitted in an impudent manner, exhaling some air out of your nose.

San was at a loss for words, never having encountered something quite like this before.

You bit back a moan, seemingly turned on from revealing your dirty secret to the innocent priest who was sitting just a few inches away from you. You rested your head back against the wood behind you, suddenly feeling like your insides were going to melt.

“Please, Father…I can’t take it anymore…” you whimpered, your heart racing inside your tightening chest. You wiped away some perspiration that was starting to form on your face, taking note of how incredibly hot your skin had felt.

San heard how hard you were starting to breathe, prompting him to sit up straight, his eyes focusing on the divider between you, so that he could try to get a better look at what was going on with you.

Your hazy eyes flickered in his direction, causing him to be a bit startled. “I’m burning up inside..it feels like…I’m on fire,” you revealed in a shaky tone, as you precipitously pulled yourself to the edge of the seat and leaned up against the somewhat see-through section of the confessional, looking directly into the priest’s wide eyes.

“I…um…” San blinked back at you, feeling a bit of sweat begin to trickle down the side of his forehead, still unsure of how he should react or what he should say, unknowingly encouraging you to do something bold.

You exhaled slowly, bringing your trembling fingers up to your chest, gingerly undoing each button of your dress shirt, before letting the thin material slip down off your shoulders, your bare breasts now fully visible and pressing up against the divider. “Please help me…”

San swallowed harshly, suddenly feeling suffocated by his constricting garbs. “I-I…can’t. My child, you…are simply too overcome by your sins. You need to pray to the lord to give you the strength…t-to combat these impure thoughts of yours,” he responded fragilely, feeling his heart begin to race and his pants becoming unbearably tight.

You whined softly, your fingers already finding their way underneath your skirt, making contact with your bare pussy, rubbing them slowly up and down your wet slit, making sure not to ignore your swollen clit.

“Please, Father. Only you can take this sin away from me.” You gazed into his eyes, tongue poking out of your mouth and dragging across your bottom lip, just as your two fingers disappeared inside you. “I’m begging you…I’ll even get down on my knees…if you want me to.”

San felt like he was one losing his mind now; it was almost like Lucifer himself had visited him in the form of an incredibly seductive woman, desperate to undo all of the hard work and dedication he had put in throughout the years, in order to reach his spiritual enlightenment.

“M-my child…I…I can only do my best to help you, but I can’t promise that I can cure this…ailment of yours,” he replied, evidently giving into his sinful nature, and in turn, being completely overcome with all of the lust he had consistently ignored for years.

You let out a strangled moan upon hearing San’s words, pumping your fingers into your hole so quickly, that he could clearly hear how wet you were. “Father, tell me what-aaah-to do now,” you requested, breathing heavily against the divider.

San inhaled sharply, reaching out to slide open the panel on his side and motioning for you to join him with his other hand. “Come,” was all he said, his eyes glossy and his mind clouded with desire.

Mistaking his order for you to join him for another version of the word, you curled your fingers inside you and let out a cry of pure pleasure, cumming right then and there. “Ffffuck…!”

San watched you with half-lidded eyes, his lips parted ever so slightly, thoroughly hypnotized by your bewitching aura and complete lack of shame. “I-I meant come over here…” he informed you, a deep blush present on his cheeks.

Once you had realized your mistake, you pulled yourself out of the booth, standing outside of the confessional on his side, waiting for further direction. You smiled to yourself, almost unable to believe that you had gotten your way, which only served to turn you on more. At this point, your arousal was so prominent, it was already dripping down your inner thighs and onto the pristine floor, but you didn’t care. You only had one thing on your mind, just like every other day of the week.

San‘s lust-filled gaze slowly traveled up your body, as he squeezed his thighs tightly, no longer thinking with his brain, but with his cock.

“Kneel.”

Your teeth sunk into your bottom lip so hard, you almost broke the skin. “Yes, Father,” you answered, your voice barely above a whisper. After stepping into San’s side on the confessional, you obediently lowered yourself down onto the floor before him, resting your hands on your bruised knees.

“What will quell this fire within you, my child?” the priest questioned, one of his eyebrows raised slightly.

Your eyes immediately darted to the obvious bulge that was jutting out against the thin black material of San’s robe. As your lips formed into a lewd smile, you reached down and began to unbutton his robe from the bottom and slowly worked your way up.

“I think it might help if I suck your cock…just this once, Father,” you uttered breathlessly, feeling more and more arousal pool within your core, simply from observing San’s flushed face and submissive demeanor.

He nodded his head weakly, drawing in a sharp breath, when you suddenly pulled his pants and boxers down in one swift motion, causing his long veiny cock to spring out against his lower abdomen.

You were shamelessly drooling at this point, unable to contain yourself in the slightest. Who could blame you, though? This was the most depraved situation you had ever involved yourself in, so it was only natural that you’d be in such a whorish state.

“You have such a pretty cock, Father,” you praised, wrapping your warm fingers around the base of his erection and leaning down, in order to lazily drag your tongue from the very bottom of his length up to the tip.

“A-aah…” San bit his lip, watching intently as you began to give gentle kisses to his reddened cockhead, shivering when you sucked it into your mouth like it was a popsicle, and almost losing his sanity when you repeated this action, while your tongue moved around it in a circular motion, until you fully allowed him into your mouth. “O-oh my god…”

You bobbed your head, taking a good portion of his length into your mouth and throat with ease, sucking him off like your life had depended on it, which it did, in a way. “Mm…mmnnn…mm-hmmm…” you moaned onto San’s cock, looking up at him with pleading eyes, desperate to hear that you were pleasing him.

San slipped his fingers into your hair, stroking it in a gentle manner, as he completely and utterly unraveled before your eyes. “Nnngh…that…feels…so goood…” he whined softly, groaning each time he felt his dick twitch and pulse inside your warm mouth. “Please, don’t stop…”

You hummed from hearing his praise, as you proceeded to wrap both of your hands around the part of his cock that you couldn’t reach with your mouth, pumping them steadily. The excessive amount of drool in your mouth served only to make wet, sinful sounds that could be heard clearly in the otherwise silent building.

San was a whiny, moaning mess at this point, due to the constant influx of pleasure you were so graciously providing him. The unholy sight of you worshiping his cock didn’t help in the slightest, instead encouraging him to delve into a deeper state of pure salaciousness that he wasn’t completely sure he could pull himself out of.

“I-I think I’m gonna…!” the priest gasped, tossing his head back against the wood panel, his hands suddenly reaching out to press onto both sides of the confessional, out of pure desperation. “Oh, goddd!”

Long, hot spurts of cum poured out of San’s cock, filling up your mouth and throat completely, causing your eyes to roll back into your skull. You swallowed and swallowed, but he still wasn’t done cumming, due to never relieving himself even once.

San’s thighs trembled, his chest rising and falling at a rapid rate, his sweaty hands still holding either side of the confessional. “I-I…I can’t…it’s…aaah…too much…” he breathed out, a few tears falling from his watery eyes.

Once you had a tummy full of cum, you stood up and slowly sat down on San’s lap, your cheeks still filled with the white sticky substance that he pumped your mouth full of.

San’s hands slipped down the walls of the confessional and instinctively settled on your hips, while he looked up at you like you were his new god. “You…where…where did you even come from?” he asked, studying your features.

Not giving him an answer, you grabbed his face in your hands and brought him into an open-mouthed kiss, your body pressing up against his.

“Mmmn..!“ San reacted instinctively, feeling a large amount of his slightly bitter release get pushed into his mouth by your tongue.

You tilted your head to the side, deepening the kiss and exploring his mouth thoroughly, feeling more wetness leak out of you, just as you heard San begin to swallow his own cum. You eventually pulled away from him when you felt that he had enough, giggling softly when you saw his fucked-out expression.

“Oh, you like that, huh? You like guzzling down your own cum like some kind of slut?” you taunted, sliding your thumb across his spit and cum-covered lips, before popping it into your mouth to clean it. “You’re pretty fucking filthy for a priest.”

San whined at your words, unable to deny your statement. He had previously believed that he was better than the rest of society, since he was able to ignore his sexual urges through sheer power of will and constant discipline, but now…now he was cursing himself for waiting so long to do something as pleasurable as this.

“Just be quiet now and let me have my way with you…” San muttered, his eyes darkening with rampant lust, the submissive nature he had exuded just moments ago now being replaced with something he didn’t even know he had in him.

You chuckled, finding San’s change in tune adorable at first, just before he began rolling his hips in a rhythmic motion, his cock rubbing deliciously against your folds and clit.

“O-oh, wow…” you reacted, realizing how serious he actually was. You let out a small gasp when San’s mouth suddenly latched onto one of your breasts.

San sucked on it in a desperate manner, then used his teeth to pull at your nipple roughly, drawing a moan from your lips. He chuckled darkly against your skin, before swapping one breast for the other, slurping on it messily, his cock still rubbing against you at a steady pace. Spit dripped down his chin, but he didn’t care. He was completely gone at this point, and it was all because of you.

You arched your back, barely able to handle the way he was pleasuring you with both his mouth and his cock, despite him not even being inside you yet. In all honesty, it was driving you crazy; you needed him inside you, or else you might actually lose your mind.

“Just fuck me already!” you abruptly blurted out, grabbing his shoulders tightly and shaking them a bit, trying to gain his attention.

San pulled away from your spit-covered breasts with a small ‘pop’, his fingers digging into your hips so firmly, it made you wince from the pain.

“What’s the magic word, whore?”

Your breath got caught in your throat, upon hearing his words. You couldn’t even believe you were dealing with the same man; it was like he was a completely different person. His once gentle gaze was replaced with something that could only be described as wicked; perhaps he had been possessed by a demon. How else could you explain such a sudden switch in character?

San suddenly grabbed you by the jaw and forced it down, so that your faces were only a few centimeters apart, growling, “I won’t fuck you, until you say please, you cock-loving slut.”

“P-please…please fuck me,” you murmured, almost ready to cum from his words and actions alone. This was the best possible outcome of the unusual situation you were in; maybe God was real, after all. “Please, Father…Fuck me like the whore I am. I need it…so bad…”

***

“Cumming for the third time already? You really are nothing but a slave for cock, huh?” San’s face was buried in your neck, his lips ghosting along your skin, his hips snapping up into yours at an unrelenting pace. “Or is it just my cock that drives you crazy?”

Your brain felt fuzzy and clouded, barely allowing you to understand what San was saying to you; all you could focus on was the mind-breaking amount of pleasure that was radiating from your lower half and coursing throughout your entire body.

San’s fingers sunk into both sides of your ass, squeezing it roughly, as he continued to plunge himself into you as deep as he possibly could. “Come on, stay with me, baby. Don’t be fading away now. You got what you wanted, now tell me how much you love it,” he huffed, using one hand to grab you by the jaw once again, looking directly into your barely-open eyes.

“I-it feels so fucking good, Father!” you whined, parting your lips obediently just as San slid his thumb into your mouth.

“Good girl.”

San held one side of your face, his thumb still inside your mouth, thrusting wildly into you, until you both had reached your highs at the same time. He slowed down his movements significantly, but didn’t stop completely, shivering when he felt your combined essence drip down to the base of his cock and onto the wood flooring below.

You pulled your mouth off of his thumb and slumped forward in his arms, panting heavily. “Fuck…” was all you could say, as your eyes fluttered shut.

“Don’t be falling asleep now, my pretty little cockslut. I’m not done with you yet,” San informed you, as he held your thighs sturdily and stood up, carrying you out of the confessional and sitting down on one of the pews with you still in his lap, his cock still inside you.

You blinked down at San with wide eyes, unable to believe how much stamina he had possessed, not that you were complaining. This was what you wanted, after all.

San’s hands suddenly dropped from your legs, his dark eyes studying yours, as his body lowered down a bit against the wooden seat.

“I want to watch you ride my cock. Can you be a good little whore and do that for me?”

You nodded your head enthusiastically, calmly resting your hands on San’s shoulders, before abruptly slamming your hips down into his at a desperate speed right out of the gate. You lowered your chin, drinking in all of the man’s pleasured facial expressions.

“Jesus Christ…!” San gripped the edge of the seat, his nails digging into the wood, unable to hold back his moans. His cock throbbed persistently against your tight inner walls, prompting him to do his best not to cum too quickly.

You leaned down and held San’s warm face in your hands, looking deep into his eyes. “Is it good, Father? Does it feel good?” you asked in an airy tone, bouncing on his cock with reckless abandon, your lips just barely brushing over his.

“Y-yes, it-haaah-feels amazing…Now, come here,” he huffed, suddenly holding your face as well and pulling you into an open-mouthed kiss, his tongue immediately exploring every inch of your mouth. Once San had his fill, he pushed your face away, your lips still connected by a few strings of saliva.

You were on the edge of orgasming once again, desperate to reach it, your sanity almost completely gone at this point in time. “Fill…Fill me up with your salvation, Father…I need it, please…give it to me…!” you begged, holding tightly onto San, your sweat-covered body pressing against his.

“Oh, my goddd…” San groaned out, his dark eyes boring into yours, before growling, “Ask and you shall receive, you filthy fucking whore!”

San suddenly gripped your ass tightly in his hands, bucking his hips up into yours, fucking you as deep and hard as he possibly could, drawing loud, broken moans from your lips, as well as causing you to squirt all over his cock. His movements started becoming sloppy and desperate, his thighs trembling slightly against yours.

“I’m- Fuck…!” San tossed his head back against the pew, as he pumped you full of his cum for the second time, filling your pussy up to the brim, just as you had begged for. “Jesus fucking Christ, this tight little cunt of yours is milking me dry…” he exhaled, moving forward to rest his head on your shoulder, holding you in place, cum still being forced out of his cock in slow spurts, due to all the years he went without a single release.

You were delirious, to say the least, unable to form a single coherent thought. “Fa…ther…” you murmured out, voice barely above a whisper. Holding onto San with a death grip, you looked up, completely enamored with the way the light of the moon shone through the mosaic glass behind the altar. Overcome with pleasure and borderline psychosis, you blinked a few tears away, swearing you saw God herself.

San remained quiet for quite a while, just focusing on his breathing, while coming down from his high and coming to terms with the choices he had made.

You pulled back slightly, so that you could caress the panting priest’s face, looking at him with sparkling eyes. “You…cured me, Father…The burning I felt inside…it’s gone. All I feel is…love…” you informed San, giving him a genuine smile, before pressing your lips onto his cheek, as a thank you.

San looked at you with tired, bloodshot eyes, feeling both incredibly satisfied and guilty at the same time. He sighed softly, wiping some sweat from his brow.

“I’m glad I could be of assistance.”

➽───────────────❥

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bloatedandalone04 · 11 months

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Wrapped Around Your Finger - Part 0.4

Series Masterlist | Original Fic

➪in which the tour begins and though anakin is excited to be back on stage, he already misses having you there with him, and this results in him spending his last night with you by loving on you in every possible way.

PSA: strongly suggested to read the warnings before proceeding.

WC; 8.7k | Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine ♡

“I think we’ve narrowed it down to three options,” Vinny tells Helena and sits next to her, his phone in his hand as he scrolls through the Instagram pages of each potential photographer. “How’d we do?”

Helena hummed as she scrolled through the pictures. “See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?” She teased as she paused on one of the pages. “What about this girl?”

Anakin leaned over and saw that she had the Instagram account named elizaphotography open. “She’s my first choice,” he announced before going back to writing down lyrics to a song that’s been stuck in his head all day. “I don’t know about the other guys.”

“Yeah, I liked her, as well,” Theo agrees.

“Me too,” Helena says and hands Vinny back his phone. “So if she wasn’t your first choice, you’re outnumbered, Vin.”

Vinny scoffs as he shoves his phone into his pocket. “I chose her, too,”

“Perfect, it’s settled,” Helena claps as she stands up. “I’ll arrange an agreement with her and get her signed onto the tour, which is two days away, if you weren’t aware.”

Anakin felt his heart skip a beat at that.

Two more days with you at home, then another day stuck on the bus.

He really wanted you with him the whole time, but he also wasn’t about to go back on his words and ask you to give up a great career opportunity just so you can watch him from backstage. “We’re aware, thanks,” he mumbled and felt the eyes of all three of them stare at him, but he just continued writing lyrics that were quickly beginning to sound like a straight up love letter addressed to you.

“Alright,” Helena says and Anakin misses the weary look she shares with the guys before backing away. “Just making sure. Get some good sleep these next couple of nights, guys. You’ve got a busy three months ahead of you.”

She leaves after that, and Anakin quickly begins to feel a bit bad, but he liked to think his harsh words were justified. “Hey, man,” Vinny says and places his hand on Anakin’s shoulder. “You okay?”

He nods, closing the book and standing up, giving his two friends an apologetic smile. “Yeah, I’m good,” he answers. “I think I’ll go home early today, if you guys don’t mind. I still need to pack a few things, and I’ll probably forget to do it later on.”

That sounded reasonable, right?

“Sure, man,” Theo says and stands up as well. “You go home, Vin and I will catch up with you in a bit.”

Vinny nods and gives him an over-exaggerated smile, successfully making Anakin laugh as he walks towards the door that Helena left through not even a minute earlier. “Thanks, guys,” he says, grateful that they seemed to understand him better than he thought they would. As he heads towards the exit, he takes his phone out of his pocket and dials your number, bringing the phone up to his ear as he waits for you to pick up.

“Hi, Ani,” your way too kind voice greets him, and he felt better already.

“Hi, princess,”

“What are you guys up to?” He could hear you rummaging around with something in the background, and he really wanted to be home with you right now. “Making more hit songs? Preferably about me?”

Your soft laugh met his ear and he refrained from groaning. “All our songs are about you,” he reminds you as he leaves the building the studio is in. “Perks of being the lead songwriter.”

You laugh again and he could picture your pretty smile without even trying to.

“But, no,” he answered. “I’m on my way home.”

“Oh,” you sounded surprised but also a bit happy at the news. “Early day today?”

“No, I just miss you,” and then he was once again picturing your small smile he knew was just for him.

“Are you sure you have everything?” You ask Anakin for the third time as he stuffs his headphones into his bag.

“Yes,” he answers for the third time and turns to face you. “Do you have everything? Still have that email saved that proves you’re a student there and get to take advantage of the student housing on campus?”

“Yes,” you say and kiss his cheek. “Bye, bedroom. See you in three months.”

You wave goodbye to yours and his room before heading towards the door, and he is convinced there is no one in the world who is cuter than you.

After locking the door, Anakin takes your hand in his as the two of you make your way towards the elevators. The whole ride down, as well as the short walk to the side of the apartment building, he didn’t loosen his grip on you for a second.

You weren’t complaining one bit, nor could you blame him for wanting to touch you as much as possible right now. You weren’t doing much better.

After getting a drive to the airport you meet up with both the guys, who had arrived a bit earlier.

“Hey, Y/n,” Theo smiled at you when you and Anakin approached the bag check area. They both already had their bags checked, so they were just waiting on the two of you. “Nice to see you.”

You smile at him as Vinny looks up from his place on the uncomfortable airport chair. “I can’t believe I’m going to say this, especially after the torture you two put us through on the bus last time, but I’m glad you’re here,” he says and you laugh quietly. “This guy has been acting like a depressed teenage boy ever since you got accepted into that program. Been a real downer.” He points at Anakin with a smirk.

Laughing again, you press yourself against your boyfriend’s side as he glares at his friend. “Shut up, Vin,”

“Be nice,” you lightly slap his chest as he pulls you closer to him. “In all honesty, I haven’t been acting any better.”

Vinny nods. “Fair,” was all he said before he looked back down at his phone.

You lean up and kiss Anakin’s cheek, moving to pull away from him when he tugs you back against his side and kisses you properly. Stepping away with a laugh, you hold out your bag to him with a soft pout. “Get this checked for me?”

He takes it from you without question and kisses the side of your head before walking towards the screening section, leaving you to stand with Theo.

“Hey, I’m not sure how much you wanted me to know, if at all, but Anakin told me about your mom,” you start and move closer to him. Theo tenses up at that and leans against the wall. “I’m really sorry to hear that she’s sick. How are you doing?”

He sighs and shrugs. “I don’t care that he told you, don’t worry,” he said. “I figured he would, so it’s fine. I’m fine, too.”

You nod, pursing your lips as you think about what to say next. It was clear that he wasn’t, but you weren’t about to call him out on it. That was Vinny’s thing. “Okay,” you murmur, reaching over and squeezing his shoulder. “If there is anything at all I can do, just let me know.”

Theo gives you a semi-forced smile as he nudges your side with his elbow. “Thanks, Y/n/n,” he mutters. “I’m good for now. Promise.”

“Okay,” you repeat and smile teasingly at him. “Are you ready for round two of tour life?”

He smiles, too, and gives you a hesitant nod. “As ready as I’ll ever be,” he answered.

“You’ll be great,” you assure him as Anakin walks back over to you. “You’ll all be great.”

“You’re sweet,” Vinny says as he stands up. “Far too nice for our boy Anakin here.”

Anakin gives him a blank look and you have to hold back a laugh. “Where’s your girlfriend, Vinny?” He asked as he laced his fingers with yours. “We’re going to be late.”

Vinny rolls his eyes and looks behind you. “Right there,” he replied as Clara rushed over to you after getting her bag checked. “Hey, babe.”

“Hi!” She says back, out of breath as she smiles at you. “I’m so sorry I took so long getting here. I had to order an Uber and the traffic was crazy.”

“You’re fine,” Anakin says as you all begin to walk towards the loading bridge.

After giving the lady your tickets you were left to board the plane and sit for the next eleven hours. The whole ride there Anakin somehow managed to sleep peacefully with his head on your shoulder while you watched the entirety of the Scream franchise.

You ended up sleeping through most of the third one, but other than that, you didn’t get nearly as much sleep as Anakin did. He was a bit groggy because of it as the five of you made your way through the London airport. Helena was waiting for you when you made it outside, and the sight of the tour bus brought back so many memories from the last tour, it had your hand tightening around Anakin’s as he guided you towards it.

“Alright, guys,” Helena said excitedly as you all got onto the bus. “And girls. Are you ready for your show tomorrow night?”

Theo tossed his bag onto the top bunk before sitting on the small couch that was next to the even smaller table. “So ready,” he answered with a certain amount of enthusiasm that gave away the fact that he was playing it up a bit. He was excited, sure, but he would rather be at home and helping his sister take care of his mom, but he knew what he was getting into when he joined this industry.

It truly didn’t wait for anyone.

“I was waiting for the day we got to go on tour again,” Vinny says as he heads towards the back of the bus and throws his bag onto the double bed. “Just didn’t realize it would come this quick.”

Helena nods as she sits down at the table. “This is all very fast-paced, I know,” she agreed. “How ‘bout you, Anakin? Are you ready?”

Anakin pulls you with him towards the bunk as he nods. “I’m ready,” he says and sets his bag down on the ground, turning to take yours from you and set it down as well. “I’m not ready to say goodbye to this one, though.”

You laugh as he pulls you against his chest. “‘This one’?”

“Yeah,” he states. “This one.”

Shaking your head, you look down at the bottom bunk. “We’re both supposed to fit in that bed?” You ask and he nods, looking over at the small bed as well. “Not sure how that’s going to work. Unless I sleep completely on top of you.”

Anakin smirks and slides his hands lower down your back, seeming to not care at all about the four other people around. Five if you counted the driver. “That’s the plan, baby,”

You roll your eyes and push him away from you. “You’re such a guy,”

He laughs loudly as he moves to lay down on the bottom bunk, his hand finding yours as he tugs you down as well. “C’mere,” he mumbles. “Let’s see if we fit.”

You huff as you move to lay on top of him, his hands finding their home on your hips almost instantly. “Wow, would you look at that,” you mutter as you settle against him. “We fit.”

Anakin hums, kissing your lips quickly. “It’s you and me,” he points out. “Of course we fit.”

You smile and kiss him again before moving to rest your head on his shoulder.

“Does this remind you of anything?” He asks as he runs his hands up and down your back.

“Us,” you answer. “Circa…..less than six months ago?”

“Feels like it was yesterday,” he grins. “It also reminds me of when you and I fell asleep on the upstairs couch at my parents house after we threw that graduation party.”

“Oh, my God,” you whine, burying your face against his neck. “Your mom was so mad about that. She came home and the house was a mess.”

“Hey, she said she wouldn’t be back for another three days. I would’ve had plenty of time to clean it up had she stuck to her word,”

“We would’ve,” you pointed out, brushing your nose along his jawline. “I love you, Ani, but we both know you’re awful at cleaning.”

“True,” he agreed. “But that didn’t stop my mom from sending you home and making me clean the entire house by myself while I nursed a hangover.”

You laugh and move to lay half on top of him and half on the small amount of space left on the bed. “It feels like it’s been years since we were in high school,” you admit quietly as Theo and Helena fell into a hushed conversation. You weren’t sure you wanted to know what Vinny and Clara were up to.

Anakin hummed and you felt the vibrations of it against the side of your face. “It has been years,” he mumbled, his voice giving away the fact that he was tired, despite sleeping for most of the flight. “It’s been almost three since we graduated.”

“I know, but it feels like it’s been way longer than that,” you murmur, tracing the tip of your index finger along the various shapes on his shirt. “Maybe it’s just me. I feel like I haven’t slowed down in so long. It’s been one thing after the other since we finished high school.”

He hums again, turning on his side and draping his arm over your waist. “I know,” he says quietly. “I’m to blame for most of it, I know that. I’m sorry it’s been crazy ever since the guys and I released that first song.”

You shake your head and press your body against his. “I wouldn’t change a thing, Ani,” you promise, stroking his cheekbone with your thumb. “I’m just hoping we get some time to ourselves after this. Is that selfish to want? Considering we’ve been spending almost all of our time together since we were seventeen?”

He shakes his head this time and pulls you closer to him. “No,” he states. “It’s not selfish, baby, because I want it, too.”

You smile up at him, wondering how he was able to assure you so easily with the simplest of words. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he presses a kiss to your forehead. “I want to spend days on end with you in our apartment, in our bed, and not have to worry about anything else all day long.”

You groan and the sound goes straight to his dick, but he did his best to push away the dirty thoughts about you in his head. While you and he weren’t very quiet last time on tour, you also had a whole part of the bus to yourselves, and fucking you on the bottom bunk while Theo slept above him was a bit much, even for him.

“Sounds perfect,” you practically moan and Anakin really had to put in the effort to stop the blood from rushing to the lower part of his body.

“You should try to sleep,” he changed the subject in an attempt to stop himself from thinking about all the ways he could take you right now. “I know you barely slept on the plane.”

You huff out a laugh, settling against him. “You did enough of that for the both of us, don’t you think?”

He smirked. “That’s the best sleep I’ve gotten while not in an actual bed,” he argued but you just shook your head. “It’s late, pretty girl, and we’ve got a long day tomorrow. You should try to get some sleep.”

“I’ll sleep in a bit,” you say and rest your head on his chest. “Right now I just want to lay with you.”

And Anakin would never complain about laying with you for as long as you wanted, because it was something he wanted, too.

So, he stayed in the bunk with you for a couple of hours before you both changed into more comfortable clothing, and then you were right back in the bed together.

“I don’t know how I’m supposed to sleep in this bed by myself once you’re gone,” he confessed quietly, not wanting to wake up his sleeping bandmates. “Now that I know we fit perfectly together on it, it’ll be hard to get used to not having you in my arms.”

“Easy,” you warned just as quietly. “If you keep talking like that, I’ll end up staying with you instead of doing this program.”

“Maybe that’s my plan,” he joked, but he quickly realized how serious his words actually are. You didn’t need to know that, though. “I’m proud of you, you know that?”

You nod, kissing his neck and closing your eyes. “I know. And I’m proud of you, too. And I love you,”

His lips found yours in the dark bus, and he kissed you more than a few times before pulling your body right up against his. “I love you,” he swore, wrapping his arms securely around you and feeling the way you relaxed completely against him as you fell asleep.

“Hi,” an unfamiliar voice said from behind Anakin. He turned around and looked up from his crouched position as he tuned the string of his guitar, his eyes meeting ones of a girl he’s never seen before.

There were a few hours left before he was set to go out on stage, and he was currently going over the standard soundchecks backstage.

“Hi,” he trailed off, trying to think of where he could’ve seen this girl, because it was clear that she was here for a reason, and it seemed like she knew him.

“Oh, right, sorry,” she laughed, lifting her hand revealing an expensive looking camera. “I guess since there aren’t any photos of me on my Instagram, you wouldn’t have recognized me from anywhere. I’m Liz, your band’s new photographer.”

She held her hand out to him and Anakin straightened up a bit but stayed in his knelt position. “Oh, hey,” he greets in a much more friendly tone. He shook her hand briefly before going back to working on his guitar. “Yeah, I had no idea what you looked like, just what your Instagram shows. Your pictures are good.”

Liz’s face tints pink a bit as she holds up her camera. “Thank you,” she smiles. “I can’t wait to start taking some for you and your band.”

Anakin laughs as he glances up at her. “I wouldn’t call it my band,” he brushes off her words. “We’re a team.”

“You’re the lead singer and lead songwriter, right?” She smirks as she plays with the settings on the camera. When Anakin hesitantly nods, her smirk grows. “So it’s your band.”

“Not really,” he tries again but shuts up when she brings the camera up to her face.

“Mind if I get some behind the scenes pictures of you?”

Anakin looks down at his ripped tee and worn jeans with a frown. “I look kinda bad right now,”

Liz scoffs. “You look hot,” she grins when he looks up at her. “You’re in your element. The fans will go crazy for it. They want to see you in a natural setting, one where you’re not trying to look good but somehow managed to anyway.”

“Right,” he laughed. “If you say so.”

“You know I’m right. Now smile,” he did as he was told and waited until Liz had taken at least ten photos of him before turning away and focusing on the strings of his guitar. “Thanks. I’ll see you later...in action.”

When he heard her begin to walk away, Anakin lifted his gaze again and watched as she wandered off towards the exit. There was something about her that he couldn’t quite place his finger on, but it was weird. He knew that much.

But he also didn’t want to judge her after one interaction with her.

Shaking his head, he goes back to tuning the strings and takes another ten or so minutes doing that before setting it aside and pulling out his phone. When he opened his Instagram app, he was met with the picture Liz had just taken of him not too long ago.

It was already edited to make it look a bit more HD and vibrant, and he wondered how she had managed to do that and post it so quickly. It was captioned ‘One of many to come. Here’s a sneak peak of Anakin before tonight’s show in Manchester! I’m beyond excited to go on this journey with you.’, and she had tagged both his account and the band’s.

It already had over fifteen thousand likes, and after scrolling through her other posts, he realized that the simple picture of him was her most popular upload already. He couldn’t lie, she was quite talented, and if her posting him was what got her stuff out there, he was more than okay with that.

Still looking at his phone, he missed the way the door to the parking lot opened and how you quickly made your way over to him. “Ani,” you call and he looks up instantly, rising to stand just as you throw yourself into his arms.

You kissed him before he could say anything, and he was helpless in fighting off the smile that took over his lips. “Baby,”

You grin at him. “I saw that picture your photographer posted,” you tell him and Anakin could immediately hear the way your voice changed into one he’s heard you speak in way too many times to count. “You looked so hot, I had to come see you for myself.”

He laughed, holding your waist with both hands. “She’s quick with it, huh? I guess we made the right choice,”

You nod and kiss him again. “So you’ve met her? Officially?” You ask and he nods, running his hands up and down your sides. “Damn, I wanted to meet her before tonight, too.”

“I’m sure you’ll be able to talk to her before the show,” he offered as he leaned down and kissed your neck. “You look so pretty.”

You scoff and glance down at the simple white dress you wore, the contrast to his fully black outfit and how different your styles were more evident than ever. “Please,” you laugh. “I don’t even have my makeup done. I was in the middle of it when I saw the post and had to run across the parking lot to come see you.”

“Ah,” he hums, pulling back with a smirk. “So that’s why you’re all hot and bothered.”

“Nope,” you shake your head, glancing around the backstage area before shamelessly gripping the front of his jeans. “You’re why I’m all hot and bothered.”

“Y/n,” he warned as he looked over to see a bunch of the stage crew members scurry around in an attempt to get things ready for the show. “Don’t make me take you right back to that tour bus when I’m supposed to be getting ready for the show.”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time,” you tease back, pulling your hand away. “I gotta finish getting ready, and so do you. I’ll see you in a bit.”

He nods, grabbing your hand when you begin to move away from him and pulling you back in for a deep kiss. “See you soon,”

And then you were on your way with a shy smile on your lips, and he was left with a semi hard-on as he helped get the stage set up. It wasn’t part of his job, and there were professionals there to do it for him, but he needed the distraction to help rid him of your effects on him.

Since you were now in London, Anakin had gone out of his way to book a hotel room for tonight so he can spend his last night with you alone and in an actual bed. Your dorm was about an hour away from tonight’s venue, so you came up with the plan to catch a ride the rest of the way tomorrow morning while Anakin left for the rest of the tour.

The fact that he had less than twenty four hours left with you did the trick and he was no longer sporting a semi.

Hours go by and it’s finally time for him to go back on stage for the first time since the last tour. Yeah, it was only a few months ago, but Anakin couldn’t deny how much he missed performing. And he couldn’t deny how much he loved seeing you in your personal spot backstage.

Before he joined the other guys on stage, he stopped next to you with his guitar strap around his body. He pulled you towards him and kissed you hard, grinning when you pulled back and murmured, “Have a good show, Ani,”

That was all he needed to hear as he made his way out on stage, and the loud cheers of the fans had both of you smiling.

You stand next to Clara as Vinny introduces the band from his place behind the drumkit, and she was as antsy as you were the first time you saw them on stage.

A flash goes off next to you and you turn, noticing a girl in her late twenties holding up a camera and taking pictures of the guys in various angles. “Hey,” you call out over the beginning chords of Dirty Little Secret. The girl looks over at you with an unreadable expression, making your smile drop a bit. “You’re Liz, right?”

“That’s right,” she yells back, stepping towards you with a small smirk. “And you are…?”

You furrow your brows, assuming she already knew who you were since she was told to look into the band she would be working with, and you weren’t exactly missing from Anakin’s Instagram. He only had two posts now, the one with you, and the shirtless picture of him from the SLACKERS shoot. He posted that one mainly for you, since you so sweetly asked him to.

“I’m Y/n,” you say and nod towards your boyfriend. “Anakin’s girlfriend.”

“Right,” she dragged the word out as she lifted the camera again. “I knew you looked familiar. Saw you on his Instagram. You guys are cute.”

The way she said that had you narrowing your eyes as she moved past you and towards the stairs that lead to the mosh pit. She didn’t give you the chance to respond, but she was also technically working, so you didn’t really get too annoyed.

You turn back towards the stage and heat up at the thin layer of sweat that had already settled on Anakin’s skin. His outfit was simple; black jeans, a vintage tee and black converse, but fuck did it get you going.

As he sang the song he wrote way back when the two of you first got together, you had to stop yourself from moaning out loud at how good your boyfriend looks. Realistically, no one would hear you if you were to slip up and moan, but you also didn’t want to take that chance. A bit hypocritical since you used to receive a lot of dirty looks back on campus after spending hours on end with Anakin in bed, but you couldn’t be blamed. Anakin was beyond attractive, and those walls were far too thin.

Even though you had pretty much the best view, you were still excited to see the HD pictures Liz took once the show was over. She seemed relatively nice and career focused, and you could only assume that the two of you would get along. Sure, you wouldn’t see much of her since this is your last day on the tour and this is her first, but the potential of a possible friendship forming between you was definitely there.

The show went on for nearly two hours before the guys were bidding their London fans a goodbye and leaving the stage, all three of them pumped up on adrenaline. Vinny is pretty much all over Clara, and Anakin is no better. After handing off his guitar, his hands find your hips and he pulls you against his sweat coated body.

You didn’t mind at all, and you were actually having a hard time resisting poking your tongue out and licking a line up his neck. “You guys were amazing,” was all you managed to get out before his lips were on yours. He pressed you against the recently unplugged speaker, his hands bunching up the fabric of your flimsy blue dress. “Ani.”

“I love that sound,” he muttered, kissing you again. “I love this color on you, too. This dress is so pretty, baby.”

You hold back a moan and tangle your hands in his hair. “Anakin,” you said breathlessly. “Let’s get out of here, please?”

He groaned, kissing along your exposed shoulder. “Let’s go find out how this dress looks on the hotel room floor,” he suggested, pulling away and taking your hand in his as he led you towards the exit.

The hotel was a short five minute drive away from the venue, so Anakin just flagged down a cab after grabbing your things and his bag. On the ride there, he sent a quick text to the guys and Helena that told them he would meet up with them the following morning at whatever place they decided to station the bus at for the night.

Then he was pulling you along with him as he took the room key from the lady at the front desk. He barely had the door labeled 306 shut fully before he was pressing you right up against it, his mouth covering yours and his hands gripping the backs of your thighs after you both dropped your bags. “Anakin,” you gasp quietly as he lifts you up. “Please.”

He hummed into the kiss, only breaking it to murmur, “We’re going to take our time tonight, princess,” he rasped, sliding his hands under your dress and gripping your ass. “I’m going to make you feel so good for hours.”

“Ani,” you whined against his mouth, holding onto his hair as he pulls you away from the door and moves towards the bed. You moan as his hands knead your soft skin before he sets you down on the floor just in front of the bed. “I need you.”

“I need you, too,” he says back, kissing along your shoulders and pushing down the straps of your dress. “I always need you. Remember that, princess.”

You nod as he slides your dress down your body and lets it fall to the floor. When his hands grip your thighs again, you jump up and wrap your legs around his waist and kiss him, clinging onto him as he lays you down on the bed.

It was nearing midnight, and even though you both have an early day ahead of you tomorrow, the fact that this was your last night together before being separated was hanging heavily at the front of your minds.

Anakin kissed all along your neck and shoulders as if he was trying to burn the feeling of you into his mind. He was savoring the feeling of your soft skin against his lips as if this was the last time he’d ever experience you, but he knew that was far from the truth.

You are undeniably and completely his, much like how he is yours.

“You’re so good to me, Ani,” you praise as he kisses down your body, his fingers gently kneading you through your bra. “I don’t deserve you.”

He shook his head as he pressed a kiss to your hip. “You’ve got it wrong, pretty girl,” he said, running his nose along your pretty pink and lacy panties. “I don’t deserve you. I’ve done nothing in my life that has ever made me deserve you.”

You pout. “You write songs about me,”

“Yeah, but that began happening after I met you. Before I was just a dumb band geek who could hardly keep up with the rest of them,”

Your mind goes back to the early days of yours and his relationship, back when you were part of the school’s book club and he was part of the school’s band. Realistically, the two of you should have never met because you were so different from one another, but you were beyond glad that you did.

You were sure there was no better person for you than Anakin Skywalker, and you didn’t want the chance to even try to prove yourself right.

“Look at you now,” you grin. “You’re living out your dream. And you were never dumb.”

Anakin laughed as he kissed your inner thigh. “Maybe not, but you were always a hell of a lot smarter than me,” he pointed out and traced the lining of your bra with his index finger. “And it’s only a dream because you’re right here with me.”

Your face heats up and you bite down hard on your lip, his words sending a jolt of need through your body.

His hands gently tug the lace down your legs and drop them to the floor, his mouth moving to wrap around your bundle of nerves. You grab his left hand and tangle your fingers together, bringing your joined hands up to your lips and pressing a kiss to the bumpy skin of his newest tattoo for you.

You place his hand on your chest and he gets the hint immediately, curling his fingers and stroking your nipple through the thin material of your bra as he licks a stripe up your folds.

“Anakin,” you whine, trying to close your legs but he was relentless as he pushed them back down. “I want you.”

He lifts his head, his mouth glistensing from both his spit and your juices. “I want you, too, pretty girl,” he promised, using his free hand to fuck his middle and index finger into you. “But we’re going slow tonight, the way we both need it.”

You whine again as his mouth returns to your clit, his tongue tracing the letters of his name onto it in time with the thrusts of his hand. Your hand tangles in his hair while your other one fumbles with the clasp of your bra. Once you pull it from your body, Anakin’s fingers go right back to pinching and pulling at your hardening peaks, the feeling of it only making the fucks of his hand that much more intense.

“Are you going to get me off with your mouth, Ani?” You ask so innocently, despite you literally asking if he was going to make you come with just his tongue and fingers.

He groaned against your core, the vibrations traveling right up your body and making you squirm a bit. “Yeah, princess,” he answered, slowly fucking his digits in and out of you. “I’m gonna get you off with my mouth.”

You moan loudly and arch your back a bit, placing your hand over his in a tight grip. “Fuck,”

He smirked and brought his tongue back to your folds, where he fucked you with it right alongside his fingers. “You want it?” He teased, unable to stop himself from getting you to say more and more filthy things that always sounded so sweet coming from you.

And, of course, you give in to him without any hesitation. “I want it,”

“Let me taste you, pretty girl,” he nearly begged and roughly thrusted his hand. “All over my tongue.”

He sunk the wet muscle into your core and thrusted it a few times. That was really all you needed as your stomach tightened and your back arched. “Ani, oh, God,” you cry out as the knot that had been quickly building up snaps and unravels.

Anakin greedily cleans up any evidence of your release, slowing down the sharp fucks of his fingers before pulling them out of you completely. He sits back on his knees as he sucks the digits into his mouth, all while keeping eye contact with you.

Your eyes are blown wide as you watch him pop his fingers out of his mouth before he moves onto ridding himself of his shirt. His bare chest next to his ink covered arm had your mind blanking for a second or two as you were hit with an overwhelming feeling of need for the man in front of you.

His hand slides up your leg and bends it at the knee, using very little strength to pry your thighs apart so he can stare at your sopping entrance. You writhe and bite down hard on your lip, and his smirk makes your heartbeat quicken. “Move back, princess,” he demands in a deep voice and you oblige right away.

You move back and lean against the ridiculous amount of pillows that were propped against the headboard. Your hands tug on his jeans as you whine quietly, your mind a lust-filled mess at this point. “Take them off,” you beg and he laughs.

He unzips the black material and kicks them off his legs. They join the growing pile on the floor as he hovers over you and grunts at the way you grab his hand and suck his thumb into your mouth. “You’re so hot,” he muttered as he settled between your legs.

“Don’t talk to me about who’s hot when you’re literally the most attractive man on the entire planet,” you say and pull him down on top of you.

Anakin laughs again and grinds his still clothed front against your bare one. “You always know just what to say to make me feel special, baby,”

You lean in and kiss him hard, tugging on his hair as you did so. “You are special,” you mumble and kiss along his jawline. “Don’t ever forget that.”

He hummed and moved his head down to suck another mark onto your shoulder, wanting all of the guys in your program to see that you were taken and that they shouldn’t even bother wasting their time. “I want you,” he rasped, kissing you again and noisily pulling away. “Are you ready for me?”

“Always,” you answer without hesitation.

He grins and kisses you again while you take it upon yourself to rid him of his boxer briefs. Your previous release made it easy for him to slide into your core, and the two of you share a moan as he pulls away from the kiss. “Fuck,” he groaned and pressed his head against the side of your neck.

You were still a bit sensitive, but you were also far too gone to wait any longer. Tangling your hands in his hair, you tug at the slightly long strands as he pulls out halfway before sinking back into you. “Ani,” you whimper as you wrap your legs around his waist.

“I know, baby,” he mumbles and peppers kisses along your neck and shoulders as he begins thrusting into you at a slow pace. He was painfully hard and his body was begging him to go fast, but he didn’t want this night with you to end anytime soon. “You feel so good.”

Like always.

Your sweet moans sound throughout the hotel room as he slowly and sharply fucked into you. Your walls took every inch of him greedily, and the tightness of them had Anakin grunting quietly under his breath.

Wrapping your arms tightly around his shoulders, you bring your mouth to his in a surprisingly delicate kiss, despite the current circumstances. Your lips mesh together as his hips meet yours at a slow pace, swapping out the quick fucks you’ve shared since moving into the new apartment together.

While it was always intimate and personal with Anakin, and it was amazing every single time, on the rare occasion he took his time and touched every single part of you….you never felt more loved, wanted and needed.

He breaks the kiss and moves his mouth to your neck, where he kisses every inch of you. You wrap your legs around his waist, your heels digging into his back to push him even deeper into you. He lifts one hand and pushes away the hair from your forehead that had gotten messy from your previous actions, his fingers running down the side of your face and resting on the curve of your jaw.

How he was so gentle in one way while absolutely destroying you in another was sending your mind into a frenzy.

He told you from day one that he would always take care of you, and that meant in and out of bed, and he was never one to break a promise, especially one he made to you.

He made you feel so good all the time, and right now was one of those times you truly felt connected to him.

“You feel so good, baby,” he praised quietly, and his sweet praises always made you a blushing mess for him.

Usually he loved to get you loud, which ultimately resulted in him fucking you hard and quick into the bed, but nothing turned him on like when he took you nice and slow.

The intense feeling of your walls hugging every inch of him had him going crazy. He had no idea how he was supposed to go weeks without you, and not even in this way. Five years is a long time with someone, and he had never gone more than a few days without you.

He was going to miss you more than he’s ever missed anything else, but the thought of finally settling down with you after this was over is what he is holding onto.

He didn’t care that you were both still so young. He wanted you forever, and he wanted everyone to know it.

As soon as the tour was over, he was going to ask you the question he’s been waiting to ask you since a month into your relationship.

“Ani,” you whimper, tugging on his hair as he brought you closer and closer to your release with the slow fucks of his hips. “I love you.”

Anakin lifts his head and kisses you deeply, his thrusts stuttering a bit as you clench down around him. He kisses you a couple more times, cradling the back of your head in one hand while his other finds yours, where he laces your fingers together.

He held you as if you were the most pure and fragile thing he had ever seen, and your already dizzy head swooned further. “I love you, princess,” he rasped, kissing you again as he fucked into you a bit harder but at the same pace. “My pretty girl. I love you so much.”

Though he was going slow, you felt your release quickly approaching. He was so sweet and your emotions were getting the better of you, and you moan against his mouth as you hug him close. “Anakin,” you practically whisper as you tug on his hair.

He hummed and kissed along your jaw, pausing by your ear so he could murmur, “Come for me, pretty girl,”

And you do.

You cling to him impossibly tight as you come for the second time with Anakin mumbling soft praises to you.

The warmth that flooded around him spurred his own release, and Anakin groans and curses under his breath as your walls suck him in deeper. “Good girl,” he says quietly as he moves to lay next to you. He pulls you into his arms and kisses all over your face as he tangles his legs with yours. “You always take me so well.”

You grin up at him. “Well, I was made for you,” you joke, but both of you believe that your words were true. It really did feel like you were made for each other.

Anakin laughed and kissed your forehead. “You’re not wrong,” he agreed and ran his fingers up and down your back as you both tried to get your breathing back to normal.

You lay together in a comfortable silence, your hand resting on his chest as you tried to forget about the fact that you really only had a few hours left with him. Propping yourself up on your elbow, you meet his eyes and match his grin. “We should probably get some sleep soon. We have an early morning,”

He nodded, gently grabbing your left hand. “We should,” he says as he kisses your tattoo of his initial. “But I’d rather be tired tomorrow than waste our time together by sleeping.”

Your smile grows as he pulls you closer to him. “What did you have in mind, then? If you don’t want to go to sleep?”

Anakin hummed in pretend thought as he grabbed the back of your thigh and placed it over his. “I remember saying that I would make you feel good for hours,” he recalled and your face heated up as your hand tangled in his hair again.

“I think I remember you saying something like that, too,”

“I’m going to miss you so much,” Anakin mumbles against your lips as he holds your body impossibly close to his.

“I miss you already,” you quietly confess as you pressed your head against his shoulder. “But it’s only three months. And I’ll come see you when it’s our anniversary. And your birthday is coming up, too, and I’m not missing that.”

He kissed the top of your head, the cool air blowing your hair around a bit. “You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear that,”

You smile up at him with tears in your eyes and he couldn’t stop himself from kissing you right now if he tried. His lips met yours in a gentle kiss, one that reminded him of the first ever one he shared with you, back when he was an inexperienced teen.

He didn’t want this moment to end, nor did he want to go back onto that bus without you, but it was nearing the time he was supposed to meet back up with the guys so they can make it to the next location in time.

Anakin pulled you closer just as his phone went off, and he knew who it was without even checking it. He pulled it out of his pocket and glanced at the text before looking back at you. “It’s Vinny,” he says quietly. “I’ve gotta go.”

You nod and take his hand in yours. “I love you,”

He kisses your forehead and squeezes your fingers in between his. “I love you so much, pretty girl,”

You sniff quietly and step away from him. “Have fun, Ani,” you request in a whisper. “And don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.”

He would always worry about you for as long as he lived, and you knew that. He was actually very worried about you living in London on your own while he was off with two of his closest friends, but he didn’t want to make you any more nervous about it than you already are. “I know you will,” he smiled sadly. “I’m so proud of you. You’ll do amazing.”

Anakin grabbed his bag and moved towards the cab that had been waiting for him for the past ten minutes, and if Anakin hadn’t already told the guy that he’d tip him extra for waiting, he was sure he would’ve left by now.

“Keep me updated,” he nearly begged as he opened the backseat door. “I want to hear about everything, okay?”

You nod and wipe under your eyes. “I will,” you promised, dreading having to go back to your hotel room to get ready to move into your temporary dorm. “Text me after every show, please?”

“You know I will,” he grinned then softened his gaze as more tears fell from your eyes. “We can handle three months, princess. That’s nothing when I know it’s you who I’m coming back to.”

You smile with a laugh. “I’ll see you soon,”

He refrained from going back over to you and taking you into his arms as he knew he wouldn’t be able to bring himself to let you go again. “I’ll see you soon, baby,” he agreed and threw his bag into the backseat. “I love you.”

“I love you,”

And then he was gone, and you were left alone on the sidewalk.

“Hey, good to have you back, man,” Vinny greeted as Anakin stumbled his way onto the bus. “How are you doing?”

Anakin laughed as he set his bag down onto the floor before laying down on the couch. He wasn’t ready to get into his bunk since the last time he was in it he was with you. “I’m fucked,” he admitted and rubbed his face. “I miss her already.”

Vinny nodded from his place at the small table. “You’ll be fine. Both of you will be fine,” he assured Anakin as he scrolled through his phone. “Hey, did Liz send you those pics from last night?”

Anakin furrowed his brows as he pulled out his phone. “I don’t know, I’ve barely used my phone today,”

“Check your email,” Vinny suggested as he leaned back against the chair.

Scrolling through various emails and spam alerts, Anakin came to the conclusion that Liz hadn’t sent him anything. “I don’t see them,” he muttered as he looked one last time.

“Really? Weird,” Vinny mumbled. “She sent them to Theo and I.”

Anakin narrowed his eyes as he opened his Instagram app to see if she posted them onto her account. It was then when he saw that she had messaged him on it, and he clicked on the chat without thinking much of it.

Liz had actually sent him the pictures, but through Instagram DM’s and not through email like she did for the other guys. He scrolled through the multitude of photos with a small smile on his lips that quickly disappeared as he read the message she sent with them.

Here are the shots from London! Gotta admit, you look good on camera, but even better off ;) Can’t wait for the other locations! See you tomorrow night.

He read it over a few times before glancing up at Vinny. “Hey, Vin?” He called, hearing his friend hum in response. “Did Liz say anything in her email? Or did she just send the pictures?”

Vinny looked in thought for a second. “Did she say anything? Like what?”

“I don’t know, like….flirty?” Was she flirting with him? He couldn’t tell if that’s what it was or if that was just her personality.

“No,” Vinny laughed, suddenly giving him his full attention. “Why? She sent you something flirty?”

Anakin shrugged as he skimmed over the message again. “No, but she seems kinda….forward,”

“That’s good, no?” Vinny asked as he stood up. “I take it she did send the pictures to you, then?”

“Yeah, through Instagram,”

Vinny looked a tad confused as he stared down at Anakin. “That’s a weird way to get them to you, but at least you have them now,” he offered before wandering off towards the back of the bus.

“Yeah,” Anakin trailed off, knowing that Vinny wouldn’t have been able to hear him. He wasn’t sure how to respond to Liz, and debated on whether or not he should even respond at all if she was actually flirting with him, but then decided that he must be a bit sensitive to everything at the moment since he was already hundreds of miles away from you, and he missed you a lot.

So, he typed out a “Thanks, they look awesome,” and topped it off with a thumbs up emoji before pocketing his phone and burying his face against the armrest of the couch.

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