#my personal twitter only has miguels ass

[meziniart]

he's touchy

[flowerpotmage]

Tight Grip, Broken Dam (15)

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You don’t question it anymore, when Miguel appears in your bed at night. He’s not there for sex, no, you’ve never even kissed—though you would be lying if you said you weren’t open to the idea of kissing him. He’s there for comfort. For rest. If only it could stay so simple.

Pair: Miguel O'Hara & GN!Reader

Notes: for chapter: poorly written in-universe journalism, friendly sparring, miguel in his feelings

Word Count: 2.9k

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Our City Spider, a new column by Karen Page

Speculations that our friendly neighborhood Spider had been taken off the playing field permanently, either due to disabling injuries or death, have been put to bed. It’s official: Spider is back.

The vigilante hero was seen early Wednesday evening near Crosby Street, with photos and videos of the web-slinger posted soon after to social media and trending locally shortly after. It had been just over two weeks since the hero’s last sighting, at the now infamous Club Scorpion slaughters where they had been seen with a large torso injury before disappearing.

“They saved me about a year or so back,” Twitter user hawkeyestan69 said in a quote-Tweet of another user’s photos of Spider. “I’m glad they’re still kicking.”

Although Spider has maintained a nearly five-star reputation amongst the people of the city, they remain notoriously elusive to the press and have yet to endear themselves to our police force.

“I’m grateful for their work in saving lives,” one member of the force has said on the condition of anonymity. “Especially at Club Scorpion. That could have been so much worse, and we all know it. But they’re still a civilian, and I worry about what that means.”

“The Spider has done work for the people of this city,” Captain Stacy, the captain on duty the night of the Club Scorpion slaughters, said in a recent press statement. “But they are still a vigilante. We cannot become reliant on them to protect this city—their absence, whatever the cause, reinforces that fact.”

Despite the difference in opinions across officials and the public, this reporter is glad to see our Spider back, alive and well.

Gwen flips over your head, arms tucked into her chest and body straight as a pencil. You duck and watch her, crouched low to the floor.

“Doing great, kids!” Peter calls from the side.

“Feel free to join whenever,” you say, launching yourself to the side in a roll and sprint when Gwen fires off two quick webs at you.

“I’m good over here with Mayday.”

You jump, doing your own flip off a wall and firing back your own webs at Gwen who dodges just as easily.

Open space sparring practice is weird for the both of you, but presents a unique challenge to you and the rest of the Spider-People (and sentient non-people) used to terrain filled with nooks, crannies, and surfaces to climb and jump off and hide behind.

“You're avoiding hand to hand,” a new voice says.

Miguel-209.

“Yeah, they’re really half-assing it,” Peter comments, half-sarcastically.

“Oh, you can do better?” Gwen says, standing and placing a hand on her hip, all banter.

Miguel-209 stands with crossed arms by Peter. He raises an eyebrow, looking from Gwen to you and offering a small smile when he sees you already looking at him. One that you return.

“I think I can, yes,” he says.

“Have some confidence man,” Peter says, tapping Miguel-209’s arm with the back of his hand.

You smile wider at the little glance Miguel shoots at Peter—not quite a glare—and nod at him to join you on the mat when he looks your way again.

“Alright,” he says, and walks towards you.

Gwen raises her eyebrows at the two of you and walks off to stand next to Peter, effectively trading places with Miguel-209.

“Are you much of a hand to hand person?” He asks.

You shrug. “I wouldn't necessarily say that.”

He nods. “But you know the basics.”

“Enough to get by.”

“Let's work on that then.”

You shift into a ready stance, and he scans you over and mirrors you.

“Go ahead.”

You hesitate, fists raised, and then shoot a web at him. He dodges by leaning far to the side, looking at you and then shifts back.

“That’s not hand to hand.”

You shoot another, and this time when he leans out of the way he grabs the long strand of web still attached to your wrist, pulling you closer. You stumble, ducking under the swing of his hand and finally shaking the web free from the spinneret in your wrist, balancing on your hands to swing a leg out at his ankles. Miguel-209 jumps back, landing with his finger pad talons extended—you watch as he retracts them.

“Pretty good recovery,” he says, smiling warmly. You catch a flash of his teeth, of a fang, before he closes his lips again and lunges for you.

It goes on like this for a few minutes. Miguel-209 attacks, you dodge and try to counter, he dodges, and it starts again. Attack, dodge, attack, dodge. You finally gain the upper hand when you use your webs again, landing one on his ankle and pulling hard. He topples, foot yanked out from under him and landing on his back with a soft oof from his lungs.

“You went easy on me,” you chuckle, catching your breath as you stand over him.

His eyes twinkle as he looks up at you from the mat. “So did you.”

You offer a hand, helping him back to his feet. “Again?”

He nods, the two of you retaking your starting positions. “Let’s kick it up a notch.”

This time you start, bolting towards him before the anticipation can build too much or he can prepare himself too well. Instead of going to block you, he swipes—big arms going to grapple you. You drop, sliding under his grasp and past his legs, swinging on the floor to kick at the back of his knee.

It buckles under the impact and Miguel-209 nearly drops to the floor, catching himself on his hands before his knee touches the mat. He spins, turning to face you and lunging again—

You barely blink before you’re on your back and Miguel’s got your thigh pinned to the ground under his foot, his palms pressing each forearm to the floor. His fingers aren’t wrapped around your limbs, and when you look you see it’s because the sharp points in his fingertips are out and piercing the gym-mat under you.

You look back up at him, and blink. “Damn.”

He laughs, and you catch a glance of his teeth again.

“Best of three?” you ask.

“Let’s call it a draw,” he says, pulling his hands back with a small tug, lifting his foot off your leg. He offers an outstretched palm to help you up, and you take it. “You did pretty good, I’d hate to embarrass you more in front of your friends.”

You laugh, dropping his hand now that you’re standing. “Sounds like projection to me.”

You switch with Gwen, who’s eager to give it another try after a short rest.

“He’s good,” Peter says when you lean against the wall next to him.

You hum in agreement, watching Gwen and Miguel-209 spar. His style is different from your own Miguel’s, and your mind wanders to the thought of sparring with him. He’s stronger than you by leagues, that’s a given, but you’re faster. If you put your all into evasion, would he be able to catch you? Maybe. He’s clever, afterall. What would that be like? Would he pin you, like 209 did just then? He’s comfortable with you, he’d probably get closer, crowd you in. Would he be less afraid to manhandle you? You hope so—

You blink, jolted out of your quickly devolving daydream, at the slam of Gwen hitting the mat, face hot.

“Good job,” Miguel-209 says, pulling her off the floor with an offered hand.

“Thanks,” Gwen grins, cheeks flushed and breathless from the exertion of the quick fight. She turns to you and Peter. “Anyone else hungry?”

“I could eat,” you nod.

Miguel-209 nods with you, and then the four of you—plus May—go to the cafeteria. You each take turns holding the baby so everyone can eat in peace, without her reaching hands in the way. While Miguel-209 answers Gwen’s stream of questions, Peter watches you bounce May on your lap, eyes scanning over your half eaten meal, and the little to-go box sitting next to your plate.

“Bringing food to the boss again?”

You look at Peter over his daughter’s head, his face one of carefully crafted and open neutrality. You don’t reply—but your face must say enough, because Peter looks at Miguel-209 next to you, then pointedly back at you.

You shake your head, not in response to his question but in response to… whatever that look was, and look back at Gwen.

“I was wondering if I could crash at yours again,” she says. “Things are stirring up in Hobie’s dimension, and I stick out like a sore thumb over there.”

“Of course,” you smile. “You’re welcome any time.”

“You can always stay with me and MJ,” Peter adds.

You make plans for Gwen to come by yours later that night, before everyone finishes eating and goes their separate ways.

You bring your to-go container to Miguel’s lab.

“Hey,” you call into the shadows.

No response. Not entirely unusual, so you forge ahead.

“I brought you some food, in case you haven’t eaten,” you say, and then you see him.

He’s on his platform, the one with all the golden holo-screens and files and reports. His back is to you, tension in his shoulders and spine slightly hunched—microscopically, but you notice all the same. You’ve seen something similar enough times to guess at what’s happening.

A quick thwip of web from the spinneret in your wrist and you’re on the platform with him, setting the little takeout container to the side.

“Hey,” you say again, softer, quieter.

Miguel takes a breath.

You close the gap, walking slow enough for him to turn or stop you, and rest your hand on his back. He turns his head to look at you now, frustration and hurt in his eyes. You don’t lift your hand when he turns his body to face you, instead letting it slide from his shoulder blade around to rest on his upper arm.

“You okay?” you ask.

His eyes drop from yours, brow furrowing slightly more, his chest rising with a deep and steadying inhale.

“Yeah,” he says.

It’s automatic, the way your hand squeezes his arm in reassurance, the way something in the back of your mind flips at the size of it under your hand, the way you step forward to wrap your arms around his middle. He hesitates, stiffening slightly, and you start to pull back, but then his arms are around you—engulfing you—and you’re pulled back in.

He’s still tense. Still… off, somehow.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” you ask, cheek against the muscle of his chest. You can hear his heart like this, the cartilage of your ear against his suit. The red glows slightly, and you close your eyes against it.

It thumps steadily, kicks up and chugs along when Miguel shakes his head, face against the top of your head.

“Okay,” you say. “I’m here, though.”

Your heart stops when he kisses the top of your head, pulling away and unwrapping his arms from around you.

“You brought me food?” he asks, struggling to meet your eyes.

You clear your throat, turning and picking up the takeout box to hand it over to him. “I had a feeling you’d forget lunchtime, so…”

He accepts it, gloved fingers grazing yours. “Thank you.”

You swallow, tamping down the zing that races up your arm. “Want some company?”

He actually smiles a little, now. It’s tight, but it’s something. “Sure.”

You settle into your usual spot, leaning back against an infrequently used area of the console and watch him close out a task on his holo-screens. With his back to you he turns his attention back to the food you’ve brought him. You watch as he turns and mirrors you in resting his weight on the console—though its height is too tall for you to casually perch, it’s perfect for him to half-sit, half-lean on. You watch as he pulls his glove off with his teeth, your breath catching.

He looks at you at the small sound of your inhale, the glove still in his teeth and paused mid-pull.

You stare.

His eyes flick across your face, and then he continues, slowly pulling his hand fully out from the tight blue and red fabric. Once his hand is free he takes the glove from his teeth and sets it aside.

You swallow. “I always assumed you could just…” You gesture vaguely, the movement of your hand indicating sweeping something back from your face. “The mask thing. But that’s the second time I’ve seen you take your glove off like that.”

The corner of his lips twitch, looking down as he opens the takeout food container. “The shape of a hand is more complicated for the nano-fiber technology,” he explains. I need it to be tougher there than on my face, on account of…” he pauses, rubbing his fingertips together, before spreading his fingers and allowing the sharp points hiding in his fingertips to emerge.

You nod, looking at his bare hand. “I see.”

He retracts the sharp points—you briefly wonder at the correct terminology. Are they talons? Claws? Something else?—and begins eating.

“You know,” you begin, watching his hand. “I don’t think we’ve ever sparred.”

Miguel raises an eyebrow at you. “No, we haven’t.”

You meet his gaze. “Do you spar with anybody?”

“I get my practice out there,” he says, and you know he’s referring to his city.

“Mm. I see.”

He eats in silence for a moment, and you consider asking if he would ever spar with you, images your mind had conjured earlier returning to present themselves. You squash them own, and instead say:

“Gwen’s going to stay with me again for a little bit.”

Miguel looks down, and nods.

Miguel hates his apartment.

He lives in what amounts to a penthouse at the top of the Spider Society Headquarters building, and it’s just as sterile as every floor below. Sleek white walls and counters, gray furniture. He gave up on trying to keep a plant months ago, after seeing how healthy yours were in comparison to his sad attempts. The couch is bare with the exception of two stiff throw pillows—a slate blue-gray.

He passes the living room, the kitchen, and goes straight to the bedroom.

“Lyla, start the shower.”

“You got it, boss.”

The dull white noise hum sound of the shower starting reaches his ears as he strips, shrugging off the torso of his suit, pulling his arms free of the tight fabric like a snake shedding its skin.

The bed in the center of the room—overly large for just one person, even a man of his stature—looks all wrong. The bed sheets are too smooth, the blanket crisp and set as if ready to be photographed for an online shop listing.

He huffs a breath out of his nose, turning his attention back to shedding his suit.

He leaves it in a puddle on the floor, straightening up with a roll of his shoulders. The still air on his bare skin feels… odd. Almost unpleasant, even.

He leaves nearly all the lights off, and Lyla lets them be as well, as he leaves the room and makes his way to the bathroom—one light is on in here, dim and warm, soft on his sensitive eyes.

His shower is better than yours. The water pressure, the size, the quality of the water itself. But even so the enjoyment—and the sudden memory of the last time he was in here thinking about you, getting off to a wet dream—is muddied by an undercurrent of something he can’t name. He rushes through his shower as the water runs rivulets and rivers over his skin, helping lather and then clear off the soap he uses to clean every inch of his skin.

It comes back when he’s out of the shower, meeting his reflection’s eyes. He tries to rub it away as he moisturizes, as he returns to his room and dresses. It trots at his heels behind him through the hall and to the kitchen, rises up higher still at the sight of his pathetically bare fridge. He hasn't been spending enough time here to get groceries, so it's no surprise. He’s been putting more focus into your fridge, back home—

“Shock,” he whispers, squeezing his eyes shut and covering his face with his palm. His fork clatters to his half-empty dish.

Even though he can't see it, eyes covered as they are, he feels the empty space around him. Too empty. The air is closing in—

He takes a shuddering, deep breath. This is fine. He can manage to exist in his own home for one night.

When was the last time he actually did, though?

He’s barely there as he puts the remainder of his food in the fridge (he couldn't bring himself to eat the rest, the unease in his stomach is too vivid, too large) and places the dish in the sink. He’s miles—no, universes away as his body walks down the hallway to his room and slides under his bedsheets. The walls are too empty, he thinks while laying on his side.

He shuts his eyes and sighs as he rolls onto his back—then huffs a frustrated breath and rolls over onto his stomach, burying his face in his pillow. The smell of it is wrong, but the pressure on his chest is better.

He can do this. He can sleep in his own room.

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[bbangsuns]

ah!love | miguel o'hara

requested?: no, but this man has been on my mind ever since atsv came out and it was only a matter of time before i wrote for him

pairing: miguel o'hara x plus sized!latina!reader

word count: 1.509

warnings: none, just Miguel being the biggest sweetheart for his partner (and only for them). there will be a part 2 with a different song posted after this!

authors note: just something short and sweet for my favorite man <3. based on this song by seventeen, i definitely recommend listening while reading! lyrics will be italicized and in bold. kinda short. for the first set of lyrics, they're from two different verses but I think they fit best with how he'd react to someone unintentionally wiggling their way into his heart

a/n pt. 2: i only used about 2 or 3 lines from the song that I thought matched best with his personality/what a relationship could possibly be like with him. he may be ooc because i haven't seen the movie, i only know a few things based on what i've seen on here, tiktok, and twitter.

taglist: @hydrngea / @withbeautyandrage @eaudenana

if you want to join my taglist, just send me an ask!

checked if i was lying when i thought it was love at first sight

you planted a seed in my dry heart / i'm growing it so don't ignore me

Miguel wasn't someone who believed in love at first sight and if anyone were to ask him about it, he'd audibly laugh in their face before glaring at them and telling them to get their head out of their ass.

that was until you came along and flipped that sentiment on its head. it was a strange feeling for Miguel, especially when he had vowed to never love anyone after the death of his daughter. so when he noticed how his heart would race any time you talked or even smiled in his general direction, he couldn't help but just straight up confront you about it in traditional Miguel fashion.

"what the hell did you do to me?" he asked one day, suddenly appearing in front of you in the cafeteria while you were talking to peter b. parker.

you yelped in surprise which caused you to choke on your food, your spider sense not having alerted you. after about a minute of peter smacking your back and you drinking water, you finally turned to answer him.

"what are you talking about?" you croaked, throat still hoarse from having choked on your fries.

he groaned and grabbed your arm, tugging you along until you reached an empty room in which he pushed you in as gently as possible.

"¿qué me hiciste? por qué siento algo raro cuando estás cerca de mi?*" he asked once more and this time he sounded exasperated, almost desperate to know what was going on with him as if he couldn't figure it out without your help.

"Miguel te lo juro, no sé de qué demonios estás hablando!*" you exclaimed, throwing your hands up in frustration at his repeated questions.

he exhales sharply through his nose, closing his eyes and rubbing his temples before opening them and gazing over at you. he takes a deep breath and attempts to collect his thoughts, opening and closing his mouth multiple times as he tries to figure out the words.

"whenever you're around me...i get this weird feeling in my chest, like my heart is racing at 100 miles per hour and i get dizzy. it's been going on since I met you, i think." he explained slowly, pausing in between as he seemed to choke on his own words.

you stand there stunned for what seems like ages and regret starts to flood Miguel as he realizes this may have been a mistake.

"*sabes qué, esto fue un error. olvídalo, si? no te queria hacer sentir incomoda..*" he muttered, turning to walk out of the small office. you quickly reached for his wrist, moving to stand in front of him. you looked up at him with a wide grin that practically had your face splitting.

"*Miguel, me estás diciendo que te gusto? o tal vez me amas?*" you teased him, but on the inside your heart was beating so fast you could feel it in your ears.

he cleared his throat and looked away from your eyes before slowly nodding, deliberately ignoring how your hand felt against him.

"i think so yeah...and i'd like to explore it further with you if you'd be willing to." he replied quietly, connecting his eyes with yours once more and you could see the insecurities just barely peeking through the surface. your smile softened and you nodded, moving your hand down to interlace your fingers with his.

"i'd like that, too." you said simply, and the way he looked at you when you said it, you knew it was going to make every moment worth it.

i found an oasis beyond the green forest / please let the thirsty me drink your feelings

you and miguel had been together for nearly a year now and had become each other's safe havens, something you were both grateful for especially with all the stress and anxiety that came from your line of work.

today was especially difficult for Miguel; for one, the last mission went badly and a number of spiders ended up injured, including you. apart from that, Pavitr, Gwen, Miles, Hobie, and Lyla had been pushing his buttons more than usual, constantly questioning his authority and making jokes at his expense. normally it wouldn't bother him but with you being injured and the anomaly escaping, he was close to blowing up on everyone.

he decided to walk away from everything for the rest of the day before he said something he'd (maybe) regret and made his way to your shared apartment, his body tense the entire time. as soon as he walked through the door and saw you laying on the couch half asleep, he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and relaxed.

"*¿cómo te sientes, mi amor?*" he asked as he leaned down to kiss the top of your head, eyes scanning your figure for any injuries he may have missed.

"*me siento bien adolorida, pero aparte de eso estoy bien. no te preocupes, corazón.*" you reassured him, kneeling up on the couch and placing a kiss to his lips, a small smile on your lips. as much as he wanted to argue with you and say you were definitely not fine, he couldn't find it in him to do that at the moment.

"what about you, mi amor? you look tense." you observed with a frown, grabbing his hand and tugging him towards you. he allowed his body to drop onto the couch with a sigh, leaning his head back against the headrest.

"*es nada, mi vida. solo estoy cansado.*" he responded weakly, pulling you onto his lap and wrapping his arms around your waist, giving you a small smile.

you narrowed your eyes at him and poked his chest, not satisfied with the vague answer, especially not when you could almost hear the way his pulse jumped when you asked.

"no me mientas, Miguel. we don't keep things from each other, remember?" you scolded him, but there was no real anger in your words. instead it was laced with concern and mild annoyance, which made Miguel grin slightly.

"today was more stressful than usual.. i couldn't stop worrying about you when Jess told me you were hurt. then we got back to HQ and the kids were making fun of me and teasing me more than usual, which I'd normally ignore but I was already pissed off from the botched mission and from the damn anomaly hurting you so I left. I didn't do the debrief after the mission or anything, I really just couldn't stand being in that building anymore." he rambled, frustration and exhaustion creeping into his voice.

you rubbed the crease that had formed between his eyebrows and listened intently to his venting, feeling guilty that you were part of why he had been so stressed out.

"*perdon por preocuparte, cariño,* and i'm sorry the kids were messing with you. but to get your mind off of their little antics, we can eat some dinner, take a bath, and then just lay in bed, yeah?" you suggested, your hand coming up to rest on the side of his face, your thumb gingerly rubbing his cheek.

"yeah, i'd like that a lot." he hummed as he leaned into your touch, closing his eyes.

you grinned and pecked his lips before standing up and grabbing his wrist, doing your best to pull him up on your own. he chuckled at your efforts and stood up, grabbing you and throwing you over his shoulder, making you yelp in surprise.

the first time he had ever done that to you, you were afraid he'd end up hurting himself, especially since you had always been on the heavier side. he had actually laughed at you out of shock and continued doing it, showing off how easily he could pick you up no matter your weight.

he walked you to the bedroom and gently dropped you onto the bed, removing his suit and changing into a simple pair of sweats before laying down next to you, tugging you as close as humanly possible before sighing in content.

"we can eat and shower later, amor. i just want to sleep for now." he whispered, his breath fanning over your neck making you twitch. you turned in his arms and laid your head on his chest, your leg thrown over his waist as you nodded, eyes already feeling heavy.

"yeah okay, get some rest. i love you." you mumbled against him, body relaxing completely as you allowed sleep to overtake you almost immediately.

Miguel felt his pulse quicken at your words, because no matter how many times you had uttered them, it left him dizzy every single time. he just kissed the top of your head, whispering an 'i love you' back even though you couldn't hear him. he fell asleep soon after you did, a small smile on his face as he thought about how lucky he had been to find someone like you, his oasis.

translations:

¿qué me hiciste? por qué siento algo raro cuando estás cerca de mi? = what did you do to me? why do i feel so weird when you're near me?

Miguel, te lo juro, no sé de qué demonios estás hablando!! = i swear i don't know what the hell you're talking about

*sabes qué, esto fue un error. olvídalo, si? no te queria hacer sentir incomoda..* = you know what, this was a mistake. forget it, yeah? i didn't mean to make you uncomfortable

*Miguel, me estás diciendo que te gusto? o tal vez me amas?

¿cómo te sientes, mi amor?*= are you saying you like me? or maybe even love me?

"me siento bien adolorida, pero aparte de eso estoy bien. no te preocupes, corazón." = i feel pretty sore, but besides that i'm okay. don't worry, sweetheart.

"es nada, mi vida. solo estoy cansado." = it's nothing, my life. i'm just tired.

*perdon por preocuparte, cariño,*= i'm sorry for worrying you, darling.

[demonsfate]

This reminds me that some people on reddit said Miguel should be back as DLC to beat Jin's ass for what he did in TK6. And while that could happen, I don't think it would go that way because Jin is probably the strongest character right now (not counting Reina's Devil form). He won against Kaz and literally turned into an angel. So Miguel killing him seems unlikely. Besides Jin has his support group now, so if Miguel tries anything, he will get jumped lol.

I see ppl on Twitter wanting that, too and it just. 🙄 For one thing, it goes against the entire story TK8 was trying to tell. Like people asking why it's so hard to get Kazuya's ending, and it's like ... because it goes against the entire story lol. TK8's story was about acceptance, forgiveness, moving on, learning to live, friends, etc etc. Another thing ... Harada had already confirm the DLC characters will come with "story expansions" that show what they were doing during the events of the story. Which makes me wonder if they're just gonna get that or they'll get that and the character episodes. Which, the character episodes are noncanon, just what ifs anyway. But if the only get the story expansion, then yeah ... we're not gonna see Miguel beat up Jin because that didn't happen in the story.

And yeah, I get people's sentimental. Jin did do a lot of scummy things in the story, he also behaved very scummy. But the thing is, I just don't wanna see Jin get beaten up for his crimes in TK6. I'm sorry but yeah, maybe I am a little attached to the character. But also like, it just upsets me that ppl want the character to suffer for bad writing. As y'all know how I pointed out many many many times before, the Jin in TK6 is so disconnected from how Jin usually behaves, he feels like a totally different character. And no matter how good his depiction was in TK8, I still wish TK6 was something that never never happened to him.

BUT ANYWAY. My personal feelings rant aside. Yeah, Jin was always seen as one of the strongest characters in Tek, and TK8 just furthers prove this. If Jin's gonna get killed, it's gonna be by someone major ... or fucking Reina. But I don't see Jin getting killed anytime soon just because, again, goes against the story of TK8. Jin has too much support now for one angry Spanish man to kill him easily.

[abduloki]

COBRA KAI Season 3

Okay, so I lost count how many times I binge watched the two seasons since it first premiered on You Tube Red two years ago and again on Netflix right now.

I’m pretty sure at this point, everyone’s hyped about the possibility of Ali returning to the show but let’s not forget other characters as well, which I hope will return even if it’s just for one episode like the late Rob Garrison (Tommy) did.

Ali Mills (Elisabeth Shue)

Currently, the number one character everyone wants to see returning which I mentioned in my earlier post, might be interesting to see Daniel’s and Johnny’s reaction, especially, Johnny’s reaction, who will probably have to choose between her and Carmen (who might accept Johnny’s apologies for what happened to Miguel, assuming everything turns out okay next season).

Kumiko (Tamlyn Tomita)

Last we heard from Karate Kid III, she decided against coming to America to pursue her passion in dancing in Tokyo. So who knows, she might decide to expand her horizon and decides to come to America after all? Or Daniel goes to Okinawa for a spiritual retreat after what happened with Robbie and Miguel, only to meet Kumiko who is visiting Okinawa as well, for a break from her hectic life in the city to reflect her life?

Chozen Toguchi (Yuji Okumoto)

Last time we saw him in Karate Kid II, he disappeared after being defeated by Daniel. Chances are, he was probably arrested for assaulting Kumiko. Maybe he leaves the prison a reformed and changed man, becoming a better person, studying Zen while in prison to overcome his anger, regret, shame and sorrow. Perhaps he goes to find Kumiko to ask for forgiveness for his foolishness and hey, maybe, they actually settle down together? After all, Kumiko is a pure, sweet and forgiving person. Speaking of the two, check this out:

Tamlyn Tomita and Yuji Okumoto actually met to re-enact this scene from Karate Kid II. 

They actually make a cute couple, don’t you think? :P

Julie Pierce (Hilary Swank)

The girl of the hour, the first female Karate Kid of Miyagi-Do, the Next Karate Kid. While it’s confirmed that she did met Daniel at Miyagi’s funeral, nothing else is known about her character but nonetheless, it would definitely be epic to see her kick ass and show the girls like Samantha, Aisha and Tory how it’s done. 

Robin Lively (Jessica Andrews)

The mountain climber and pottery girl from Karate Kid III who was in a complicated relationship with her boyfriend or taking a break when she met Daniel so nothing really take off between the two except they’re just friends. She left eventually to patch things up with her boyfriend, I shared my wild theory of what if her boyfriend was Johnny Lawrence, who was trying to get over Ali the same way Daniel tried to get over Ali with Kumiko. Why? Here’s the kicker:

As mentioned in my earlier post, William Zabka (Johnny Lawrence) and Robyn Lively (Jessica Andrews, Karate Kid III) met for an episode of Gortimer Gibbon. 

William posted their selfie on twitter joking about stealing Ralph Macchio (Daniel Larusso)’s girl! 

And now, let’s move on to the villains. We already know Kreese is in it but what about his former allies who backed him up in Karate Kid III?

Terry Silver (Thomas Ian Griffith)

Kreese’s war buddy who is a corrupt millionaire. Ever wonder how Kreese managed to survive thus far being homeless before he re-appears in Johhny’s life once again after all these years? What if he’s been living off his buddy, Silver? And in return Kreese tries to get Cobra Kai back within his control for Silver to return and possibly recruiting Barnes and Dutch. Imagine that with him re-appearing in Daniel’s life saying, “Now the real pain begins, Danny boy.”

Mike Barnes (Sean Kanan)

The second guy who almost defeated Daniel, after Johnny Lawrence, so you could say he’s pretty skilled as well. I won’t be surprised if he wants to even the score with Daniel or even take Cobra Kai away from Johnny which he’ll see as his rival and prove his worth to Kreese and Silver once again. The actor even admitted that he’s actually interested in reprising the role in Cobra Kai if offered. 

Dutch (Chad McQueen)

Think of him as the original Hawk, who’s highly aggressive, impulsive and loves a good fight for the thrill of it. In season 2, Johnny remarks how Dutch's criminal career continued into adulthood, as he is currently remanded to Lompoc Federal Prison. Bobby, now a parson, has frequently written letters to Dutch to show he is not forgotten and hopes he can minister to him inside the prison. So if they were to meet again, I doubt Dutch can get along with Johnny like they used to.

Yikes. I sense a Cobra Kai Civil War brewing.

Daniel, Johnny, Julie, Chozen vs Kreese, Silver, Barnes, Dutch. ALL ABOARD THE HYPE TRAIN! *cue Cruel Summer song*

[purplesurveys]

735

Hola, hablas espanol? Un poco. Haha most of my Spanish is based off of context clues from similar words and phrases that we have in Filipino, and the very basic lessons I’ve gotten from Duolingo if that even counts, so I most likely would not survive a conversation. Overall though, I can read Spanish much more quickly and better than I can listen to/speak it. Music is playing right now, isn't it? What song? No but for some reason I have the OST of one of the Mario Kart 8 tracks playing in my head. Do you use AIM? What's your screen name? No, I didn’t really catch that era anymore. How many cell phones have you gone through in your life? I had two of the classic Nokia phones, a flip phone, a hand-me-down from my dad, two iPhone 5S, and my current iPhone 8 so that makes it a total of seven. Do you have a little sister? What's her name? Yeah. We’ve always called her Nina at home but for some reason she chose to go with her full first name in school and everywhere else, so it’s always a source of confusion when her friends and I are in the same room and we call her different names hahaha.

Who was the last person you screamed at? Why were you screaming? I think my mom? I was filming my dad doing one of the Tiktok dances (yep, my parents are into Tiktok lmaooooo) but my mom blocked the camera at some point so I jokingly yelled at her to go away. Can you crack your joints? Which ones? Just my fingers, which is all I ever feel like cracking anyway. What's your favorite name for a guy? And a girl? I repeat my fave girls’ names too much on this damn site, y’all know at least one of them by now. I don’t really think of boys’ names but I suppose my current favorite is Miguel. Are you good at answering trick questions? I don’t really encounter them a lot so I wouldn’t know. Do you use Myspace or Facebook? Or both? I don’t use Myspace/was never addicted to it the way I am to like Twitter now. I do use Facebook for various reasons – to stay connected to family, to be updated with announcements from school, to communicate for work, and to share memes hahahaha. Do you need spellcheck in order to spell things correctly? Not really. Sometimes I’ll Google a word before typing it out to be 100% sure but it’s only usually for words that are commonly misspelled, like ‘occasionally.’ Do you do too many surveys? How many have you done today? I don’t know if taking them daily counts as taking them too much but to be fair I only take one to three surveys a day. I definitely take much fewer surveys than I did, like, seven years ago when I would fill out ten a day. Have you ever changed yourself to impress someone? Who? I remember trying to like bands like The Summer Set, You Me At Six, The Maine, We Came As Romans, This Century, etc in Grade 6 because all the cooler, hipster kids liked them. UGH thinking about how I acted during that period is so cringe because I never even liked any of the fucking music but I tried so hard to, lmao. There were only three bands I ended up genuinely enjoying: All Time Low, Sleeping With Sirens, and We Are the In Crowd. After that I stopped paying attention to what people liked. Who was the last person you gave up on? Why did you give up on them? I think it was Macy. She has changed a lot and it’s obvious we are not as close as before and when we do talk it’s mostly awkward small talk. I don’t know what happened along the way, but I just hope she’s happy. What was the last thing you printed? Is there even ink in your printer? I usually have stuff printed in school because with my dad not being home most of the time, my mom and brother never printing anything, and my sister living in a dorm, it doesn’t seem worth it to keep buying ink just for me. The last thing I printed was a news article I needed to turn in for business writing class. What's your favorite number? Is there any reason that's your favorite? 4. I honestly liked it initially because it’s Beyoncé’s favorite number so I just stuck with that answer for the longest time haha. What kind of shampoo do you use? Does it smell amazing? It’s one of the Dove shampoos. It’s nothing life-changing but seeing as it’s a hair care product, it of course smells nice and decent.   Do you go to concerts? What was the last one you attended? Not a lot. I save my attendance for my absolute favorites which means that so far I’ve been to two Paramore shows and one One Direction show. I make sure they’re bigger, more mainstream acts that don’t happen in the Philippines a lot because it’s my dad who pays, and I wanna make sure what I’m asking him to treat me to is gonna be a super super worth it experience, if that makes sense. Have you ever had a conversation with someone through bulletins? I don’t think so. Do you shop online? With your own credit card, or someone else's? I have food delivered from online but I barely buy other stuff online. I use cash on delivery since I don’t own any kind of card. Who's your best friend? How long have you known each other? I’ve known Angela for 15 years and Gab for 9. Who was your first boyfriend/girlfriend? Why did you break up? She freaked out and thought we were rushing too much at 17, which she was right about. Have you ever gotten your nails done? Or do you get them done regularly? Never but Gabie keeps telling me that we should have a nail day hahahaha. Idk, I’ve never been comfortable with the idea of someone working on my fingers or toes or any part of my body. Have you been outside yet today? What were you doing? Sure. I stepped out into our backyard to walk my dog for a few minutes in the afternoon; in the evening my family and I had dinner on our rooftop which is technically a part of outside. Tell me about the last thing that made you laugh until it hurt. It was one of the more recent segments from a Korean reality show I watch. It’s not gonna be funny if I narrate it lmao but suffice it to say it’s a show about kids and their dads, and the kid that I watched in particular is exceptionally smart for his age and says a lot of witty things. One of the things he said was bullseye for me and I ended up nearly screaming in laughter at 3 AM. When was the last time you got a new bed? Is your bed comfy? 2008. We never changed my bed from when we first moved here. Yes, I’d say it is. What kind of games did you play on the playground when you were younger? I loved playing at the sandbox because I found the texture really fun to touch and play with; I also liked the swing and the trapeze bars.

Have you ever buried a time capsule with a friend? Did you dig it up yet? Nope. I find them very interesting though. Tell me one thing you'd like to change in 2010. There's gotta be something. That was a whole-ass decade ago, holy shit. I don’t remember what I sought for 2010 back in 2009 but I imagine one of them is for me to find a friend to be with because it was in 2010 that two of my closest friends, Andi and Angel, both migrated to New Zealand and Canada. Spoiler alert: I didn’t, and I was sad the entire year. Do you have or want any tattoos? Of what? Yes. The only design I can think of right now is my dog’s pawprint. Do you remember the first time you ever drove a car? Who were you with? Yeah, it was in my parents’ old Mitsubishi Lancer. I was with my mom and I drove too close to curbs/walls the entire time haha. Do any of your friends drink excess amounts of alcohol? Do you? JM drank a lot at the start of the quarantine to the point that I started to get worried, but I think he’s lessened his intake in the last few weeks. Other than him I don’t know anyone with a drinking problem. I certainly don’t have one. What color is your favorite hoodie? When did you get it? Hoodies aren’t really my thing so I don’t have a favorite one. How many pairs of shoes do you have? Are they under your bed? Around 10-15 would be a safe guess. They’re in a shoe rack in a bodega-like space underneath our stairs. What exactly is under your bed? Is it a mess? Not a mess. I just have my old WWE magazines and other various magazines that I collected as a teenager with Beyoncé and Kristen Stewart on the cover stored in two large containers. Have you ever been in handcuffs? Why, exactly? Not by the police, lol byeeeeeeeeeeee What's your favorite thing to do when drunk? Would you do this sober? I join games a lot more and I’m generally friendlier and louder. I can be the first two when I’m sober, just a lot more reserved. When was the last time you bled? What happened? I caught a mosquito sucking blood off of my knee a week ago. Have you ever had to be put to sleep at a hospital? Why? Nope. Do you actually have a calendar on your wall? What are the pictures of? I do not. When are you planning on moving out of your parents' house? In 2-3 years when I’ve saved enough, probably. I’m itching to do it as soon as I can though. Tell me about your day today. :) It was my parents’ 23rd wedding anniversary so we had a bigger brunch that consisted of pancit Malabon, several sticks of barbecue, sisig, and various kakanin to celebrate. The afternoon was uneventful and I just spent most of it brushing up on my Spanish lessons hah, then I had a quick siesta; then for dinner we had burgers from a local place that recently opened again while the quarantine is ongoing. Are you a fan of dogs? Do you have any pets? I LOVE dogs, except for chihuahuas which I genuinely am unable to start liking because of (most of) their personalities. I will definitely care for one if I see them starving at a road but ugh idk, I just like all other dogs a lot more. And I know there are cuddly and behaved chihuahuas out there but I’ve simply seen more feisty ones and since then it’s been hard to have my mind changed about them. Who was the last person in your family to graduate high school? Was it you? My sister graduated in 2018. Have you ever been on a cruise? How many? Where did they go? Yeah, just once, for my 18th birthday. I went to China, Japan, and South Korea.

[pinkbubbles-and-bigtroubles]

Colour Me In Part 3

“Oh that is not good,” Michael cracked up and Calum just glared at him.

“Will you shut up unless you're going to help,” he grumbled fiddling with his bass. Lunch with Eliza had been amazing, and he'd really felt like he was starting to get somewhere with this girl. Kevin's sudden appearance at lunch had him worried.

“Maybe it's better to get it all out now,” Michael tried to sound reassuring.

“Get what out now?” Luke asked, entering the room trailed by Ashton.

“His new girl's best friend is gonna tattle on him before he gets a chance to get it,” Michael told them.

“Wait I thought you weren't talking to Nat?” Luke asked slightly confused.

“No, dummy, the deaf girl, Eliza.” Ashton poked Luke in the side to get him out of his way. “I thought you guys were having lunch today?”

“We did,” Calum told him, “but her closest guy friend, Kevin,” Cal made a face when he said the name, “came out of nowhere and told her I looked familiar. So when I ask her where he works she says he's a model and works the door at Emerald City.”

The guys laugh but Calum cuts them off “and The Chelsea,” the guys stopped laughing, “and Lucky's,” Calum finished.

“Ooooh that fucking sucks dude,” Luke sat down facing him.

“Of all places though, I don't think there's a girl in that bar that hasn't seen your dick at some point,” Ashton laughed.

“You're one to fucking talk,” Calum huffed, “you're worse than me. Didn't you have Cass over last weekend?”

“I did actually, she says hi by the way, keeps joking about wanting a threesome with both of us,” Ashton chuckled.

“She's not joking,” Calum shot back raising his eyebrows.

“Okay so Cass, Kimmie, Jen…” Luke started naming names.

“Hollie and Haley,” Michael chimed in.

“…Alanna, Charlotte, Jay, and most currently Natasha….so yea Calum is a straight up fuckboy.”

Kevin leaned towards Eliza, nodding his head furiously as he signed with quick dramatic gestures.

Eliza, sitting across from him on the couch, threw up her hands in exasperation at the way Kevin was so concerned for her well being over Calum. He'd insisted on her coming over after work so they could talk.

“Did you think I didn't know that? He's in a band. I work for a publicist. Laura, my co-worker even had a thing with his friend Ashton. You and Mags act like I've never encountered fuckboys before. Besides have you seen Calum? I'm trying to have some fun here.”  Eliza’s hands were tense as she signed slowly and deliberately, her face a mask of sarcasm.

Kevin laughed and rolled his eyes setting his phone down so he could look at her while they talked.

“Listen,” he signed,” I just don't want you to get hurt. None of the girls had anything bad to say about him except, the second you fall for him Calum lets you down gently, but he does not stick around.”

“KV, you know I don't have time for a boyfriend. My job is crazy. My personal project, Mr Zachary James, is a little shit who won't stay out of trouble, and my boss is terrifying. I know I'm not as experienced as you, or Calum,” Eliza smirked at him and Kevin flipped her off. “The guys I've dated have been boring or turned out to be assholes. I want an adventure, is that so wrong?”

Kevin rolled his eyes, “This is pointless, all the women in your family are stubborn as hell. Just be careful. I do think it's cute he's learning to sign. How much you wanna bet that's your sister?” He signed as both their phones buzzed.

Open Group Chat

Mags the Mighty Okay today has been insanely busy. I know you two are huddled up discussing lunch with Rock Star. What's the consensus?

Maggie sat back and waited knowing both of them were desperately trying to be first.

King KVN so you already know your sister is impossible, but I found out dog boy has been getting it with all the models, thots, and bad bitches that work at Lucky's and The Chelsea. This bitch doesn't care because she's thirsty. I'm trying to talk some sense into her.

Big EZ basically everything he said is true, but he has to be extra about it. From here on out every time you call him dog boy I will scuff one of your sneakers.

Mags the Mighty so wait you're okay with Calum fucking around like that? I mean he's hot and for a vacation hookup or weekend hookup sure. He's taking you on dates, asking about your family, and even signing… Maybe he likes you.

Big EZ  I don't have time for any of that Mags. Besides look at Patrick and Miguel it's not like I've got a great track record

King KVN those dipshits weren't your fault and I will not tolerate my best friend putting herself down. Miguel was too insecure to handle a woman as smart and beautiful as you and he cheated to compensate. That's on him not you. Patrick is a sad little man with a sad little dick who tries to slide into your DMs WEEKLY even though he's supposedly happy with his girlfriend.

Mags the Mighty You're so extra Kev. we are not here to discuss Eliza's dismal history with men. Besides that was high school and we're all trying to pretend that never happened. When do we get to hang out with rock stars?

BIG EZ I haven't heard from him since lunch. He got all weird after Kev popped up. If you messed this up for me. I swear I will maim you.

Just then Eliza's boss interrupted their conversation with a flurry of text messages. Another client, country music party girl Shelby Keeler, had just been arrested in Texas in a bar fight, and TMZ had footage. Evie already had Maria Reynolds, the only person helping her with the nightmare that was Zachary James, on a plane to Houston to do damage control.

Not only that but his ex girlfriend, model and heiress Daisy Moss, was rumored to be hanging back around. Zachary was smart enough to try and keep this from Eliza and Jeanette, his manager, as their drug fueled bust up in a hotel suite had almost destroyed his career and cost him most of his sponsors.

Zac had been a child actor and teen pop star before washing out at 17. A couple years after that he'd built a following on YouTube with a series of videos documenting his failed comeback attempt, his struggles with mental health, and life post fame. He showed how he cared for his mom who was deaf and had a bad back from a car accident. His sister was in and out of his life as she bounced between rehab and addiction.

He'd developed his YouTube channel as a launch pad for phase 2 of his career getting a reality show on E that was entering its fifth season. However, two years ago he'd met Daisy, and since then his life had been chaos.

Eliza sighed, annoyed that her weekend was now going to be spent worried at the prospect of all her hard work with Zac going to shit. She realized when she finally got home she still hadn't heard from Calum since they'd parted ways after lunch. That was unusual but it was the weekend and Calum was probably at some bar with one of his girls. Eliza was stunned how pissed off the idea of Calum hitting on another woman made her.

Calum didn't know what to do. He wanted to text Eliza and somehow explain himself, but there was nothing to say. Everything Kevin could tell her was true, and for the first time in a long time Calum felt a bit ashamed of his behavior. Not out of regret or a sense of morality, he hated how it looked and what it might cost him. He declined to go out that night, and instead huddled up in his apartment with Duke.

Calum pouted the entire weekend. He didn't leave the house or talk to anyone for two days. Instead he ordered takeout, worked on a song, or watched videos on his laptop. He checked Eliza's Twitter and Insta but there were no posts. He even checked Zachary James’ accounts to see if work was keeping her busy, but found nothing.

Eliza spent the entire weekend with Jeanette keeping an eye on Zac. Daisy was back around and had even come by the house a couple times. Luckily he was ignoring his ex, for now, but between him whining about his failed relationship, and Jeanette bitching about Zac, Eliza was irritated for 48 hours, and it gave her a headache. By Monday morning she was in a terrible mood and took part of the morning off to spend some time with Oliver. They went to Marian's because lemon bars always lifted her spirits.

She saw Calum pulling out of the parking lot as she started to turn in. Eliza thought he saw her, but then he was gone. After placing her order and settling into a table on the patio she found herself distracted, glancing at the entrance hoping to see him walk in. Finally she'd had enough, Eliza wasn't going to let Calum ghost her without calling him on his bullshit.

Haven't heard from you since Friday, makes me wonder if Kevin frightened you off. I gotta admit, I'm disappointed, didn't think you'd scare that easily. I thought you were tougher than that.

She hit send and immediately wanted to take it back. She sent Kevin a screenshot of what she'd done and to her surprise he was awake and answered back.

Yaaasssssss, tell him about himself. I will say this tho… Your boy was nowhere to be seen this weekend. All his boys came out to Lucky's Saturday night, and I know for a fact both Haley and Nat hit him up this weekend.  No one's heard anything.

He could always have girls you don't know about.

Stop that, we all know I know everything

Eliza stopped laughing when Calum’s name popped up

I'm an ass. I knew what Kevin would tell you, and it's all true, I can't deny that. I figured you'd be done so I just didn't feel like talking to anyone this weekend. I stayed home and worked on some songs.

Do you really think I was that shocked? You're in a band, you're young, and hot. You had a hickey when we met up at the dog park. I may not be very experienced, but I'm not some sheltered, naive, stupid little deaf girl.

Okay okay I'm sorry, I should have texted you. It looked bad, but I never ever thought you were naive or stupid. I think you're smart, funny, and charming. I thought a woman as classy as you could do better than someone with my history. Let me take you on a proper date. We can even be chaperoned.

What are you even talking about? Chaperoned?

Yes, let me take you out to dinner and Oliver and Duke can come along and make sure I behave like a gentleman.

You're playing the Duke card, that's completely unfair.  

Tomorrow night? I can pick you guys up.

Tomorrow is fine. Tell me the time and place and I'll meet you there. I’m not ready to have you meet my mother.

Eliza realized she was holding her breath and exhaled suddenly very nervous. Her first real date with Calum, and he was determined to treat her like a lady. She wasn't entirely sure how to feel about that. What she was sure of is that she needed to figure out what to wear. She texted Maggie and Kevin and headed to work.

Eliza glanced back at Oliver in the back seat as she put the car into park. The little dude was smiley and wagging his tail although a bit apprehensive by the unfamiliar surroundings. Eliza has been thrilled when Calum told her he wanted to try Mohawk Bend, it was her sister's favorite pizza place and very dog friendly. The hostess waved to Eliza and Oliver doing a bit of a double take.

Kevin had outdone himself with her outfit tonight. He'd put her in black leggings and her black push up bra that made her boobs look huge. He then wrapped a tan cashmere scarf around her chest, hiding her cleavage so her mom wouldn't bitch. Over that he'd layered a burgundy lightweight dress, that was actually a swimsuit cover-up, using one of his belts to turn it into a cute tunic. They'd decided on simple makeup with a dark burgundy lip, black motorcycle boots and a careful application of gold highlighter to her face, body, and hair to complete the look. Her hair was in a loose Grecian braid with gold wire wrapped throughout helping tame her curls.

Calum saw Eliza walk up to the podium and show the hostess his text message about already having a table. She looked amazing without trying too hard. He'd promised to behave like a gentleman, but as his eyes took in her curves as she walked up the table,  his thoughts turned carnal.  Oliver and Duke greeted each other like long lost friends. Eliza smiled at him and his mind went blank. He grabbed his phone.

I had this really cool plan to impress you with some new signs I learned this weekend, but I'm too nervous to remember any of them.

Eliza wanted to scoff at the idea of Calum Hood being nervous around any woman, but despite looking insanely handsome in his all black t shirt and jeans combo, he was fidgety and sweating.

He let her decide what to order so they could share. She chose the white mushroom pizza and fish tacos to split.

They played with the dogs while they waited for the food to arrive. When it did they took turns going to wash their hands and Eliza couldn't help but notice Calum left his phone on the table when he got up.

Dinner was lovely. They went through extra napkins as they kept getting sauce everywhere. Calum fed her tacos, she wiped sauce off his chin. They kept laughing at jokes no one else got with Oliver and Duke dozing snuggled together under the table. Calum heard an older couple making comments about them being on their phones.

How do you sign mind your own business?

Eliza looked up at him and he shot a quick glance at the older fellow giving them a sour look.

She looked back at Calum signing

“Mind your own business?” he asked out loud as his hands mirrored hers. She nodded and Calum heard the guy mutter “How was I supposed to know.”

Calum insisted Eliza take the rest of the pizza home to Maggie, paid the check with a generous tip, and walked them to her car. Standing next to her car they stood there texting, neither of them quite ready to see the night end or push it further.

Until a text from Evie broke the spell and Eliza needed to go.

Calum held up a hand mouthing “wait, wait” and sent another text.

I remember one of the things I learned now

Eliza looked up and Calum raised his eyebrows and signed “Can I kiss you?”

She nodded and reached up resting her hand on the back of his neck, pulling him towards her as he lowered his lips to hers.

They both melted into the kiss, lips parting, tongues colliding and his hand gripping her hip pulling her closer. Eliza felt him get hard and she pushed her body against him. Calum broke the kiss, panting and looking at her with nothing but lust in his eyes. Eliza wanted him to keep going but he shook his head.

I don't want you to think you're just another girl.

He signed “good night, I'll text you,” before giving her another quick kiss and picking Duke up so he could say his goodbyes.

@wildhearthood @kiiiimberlyriiiicker1995 @cal-puddies @biba3434 @grittyisathot @angelbabylu @itstheholls @irwinkitten @5sos-ficssmut @cal-pal-cuddles @calumh-excess @1dthewantedlove @you-of-ghost @babygirlcashton @sublimehood @sugarcoated-pain @calteahood @the-fifth-season @kchillout @flannelpunkcalum @unabashedlymyself @5-secondsofcolor

[toogoodmusic]

TOO GOOD TUESDAY INTERVIEW: G Flip

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Australian singer, songwriter and all around bad-ass drummer Georgia Flipo better known as G Flip just released her debut album About Us last week. The ten song project chronicles G Flip’s on-and-off again relationship with her current girlfriend. Starting off as a drummer for various other people, G Flip decided to start her own project which began with the release of her debut single, “About You” – a synth and emotional song with big drums incorporated. The song blew up and propelled G Flip’s solo career right off the bat. About Us is just the beginning for this talented artist as she continues an impressive festival circuit inclusive of a fall headlining tour and spot on the Falls Festival line up – which has always been a dream of hers to play. Lucky for Too Good Music, G Flip took some time out of her busy schedule to do an e-mail interview. Check out the full interview below to see how she got her start in music, what draws her to the drums, what the most personal song off the album is and so much more:

________________________________________________________________

TOO GOOD MUSIC: Starting from the beginning – what’s your earliest memory of music? When did you know you wanted to pursue it as a career?

G FLIP: When I was 3 years old my family went to a Christmas party in the park. There was a local band set up playing some classic tunes on a little stage. I had just been gifted a children's sized play guitar and happened to have it in the car. I asked Dad to go get it from the car for me. He came back with the guitar, gave it to me and I took it without a word and walked directly onto the stage. I stood alongside the band without saying a word to them and strummed away, bopping along to the songs they were playing whilst I pretended to play along with them for every single song. It was my late Poppy's proudest moment of me.

Source: G Flip | Photo Credit: Reuben Moore

TGM: Ha! that’s a great story. So you went from crashing sets on stage to a debut album - congrats on, About Us by the way - it’s been a while since I fell in love with an album...it’s an incredible debut. What’s the meaning behind the name of the album? What can fans expect off this album that is similar or different to previous releases?

GF: Why thank you!! The meaning is quite straightforward actually. Most of the songs were written about my on and off  relationship with my girlfriend. I hadn’t seen her in a year back in 2017 and when we caught up she asked me, “Are you still playing drums, who are you playing for now?” And I told her, I’ve decided to go solo I’m no longer drumming for people anymore and I’ve made a heap of tracks in my bedroom studio. She was inquisitive and wanted to hear the tracks, I was very reluctant as every song was about us. So it felt fitting to just call it that, About Us.

TGM: I agree - sounds fitting! Which song on the album are you most excited for fans to hear? Which one was the most personal to release?

GF: I'm super excited for my fans to hear “2 Million.” It’s by far my fave tune on the record. After “About You” blew up, my world expanded from my bedroom to the world and my life started drastically changing. So this song follows a timeline of my life from when I got my first guitar, to (hopefully) buying my first home, to falling in love, getting married, growing old until I pass away and all that’s left is the stories I told on earth through my music.  It’s trippy to think that, as songwriters even when we are gone we have left stories behind on earth.

Source: Facebook

TGM: I always think about that quote that goes “You die twice in this life: one time when you stop breathing and a second time, a bit later on, when somebody says your name for the last time.” It’s really crazy to think about what we leave behind and can outlive us. In that same vein what song(s) have inspired you the most throughout your career?

GF: There aren't really any particular songs that have inspired me to do what I do, but there’s definitely bands and artists that I have listened to my whole life.

The Rolling Stones, Joan Jett, The Clash, Rancid, Jimi Hendrix, Bob Marley, Usher, Beyonce, Paramore, Florence + the Machine, The Internet, Rihanna, Miguel, D’Angelo, N*E*R*D, Hozier, Bon Iver, Justin Timberlake, Benee, Joji, Stevie Wonder, Kanye West, Blink 182, Elliphant, HAIM, Jamie T, Jeff Buckley, No Doubt, Linkin Park, Dave Brubeck, Bill Evans, Leon Bridges, Dominic Fike, Lizzo, The Teskey Brothers, Frank Ocean, Matt Corby etc.

TGM: Great list. What’s been the best piece of advice – music, life or otherwise – that you’ve gotten?

GF: I once read this quote that said “Create the things you wish existed” it has stuck with me ever since.

Source: G Flip | Photo Credit: Reuben Moore

TGM: That’s a great quote and think a great mindset to have while creating art. Shifting gears a bit, you recently played Lollapalooza in Chicago as well as some additional festivals and have an Australian tour set for the fall. What’s a G Flip show like? What’s your favorite part of taking your music on the road? What’s the most difficult?

GF: There’s a lot of drums and drums solo’s. It’s high energy and when I’m not behind the kit I’ll be running around jumping. Me and my 2 best mates that I play with on stage switch instruments every song, so i'll be on keys, then on bass, guitar, drums or just with the mic.

TGM: Speaking of music festivals, I just saw your story where you posted a video from 2017 explaining how cool it would be to play Falls Festival and you recently announced that you are! What does that mean for you and what do you have planned to make it a special show?

GF: Still pinching myself about this one! Falls has been a festival that growing up my friends always went to. It was a yearly highlight and despite spending almost all of my income on musical equipment, I did finally get to go Falls Festival in 2012. Fast forward 7 years and I'll be playing there and I'm so psyched! That's a cheeky question, I don't want to give anything away! But I do have some fun, high energy additions to the live show You'll have to wait and see.

Source: Facebook

TGM: I’m sure the fans will be ready and I’m sure there will a lot of drums! What is it about drums that you’re so drawn to?

GF: The drums are so fierce, loud and fun. You’re literally hitting things with wooden sticks, what a sick concept.

The amount of groove and rhythm you can create using all your limbs is pretty cool too.

TGM: If you could only listen to (5) artists for the rest of your life who would they be?

GF: This definitely changes every month...

1. The Rolling Stones

2. HAIM

3. Bob Marley

4. Florence + the Machine

5. Frank Ocean

TGM: What does the rest of 2019 look like for you?

GF: I'm psyched to be doing an album tour around Australia in November. I'm playing at Sound On Festival in Perth, Triple J One Night Stand in Lucindale and Spilt Milk Festival in Ballarat and Canberra with some of my favourite bands. As you mentioned I'll be bringing in the new year playing at Falls Festival! So it’s gonna be busy. Hopefully I get a week off somewhere to take the Mrs. somewhere on a getaway too.

TGM:  Here’s hoping you get that week off with the Mrs. at some point but enjoy the rest of the year and congrats on the debut album!

Source: Facebook

________________________________________________________________

A HUGE shout-out to G Flip for taking the time out of her extremely busy schedule to answer some questions with Too Good Music. Keep up with her exciting fall by following along with the below links:

 Apple Music | Facebook | Instagram | Spotify | Twitter | Website | YouTube

[everysuperherofighting]

The Best Music of 2018

2018 was a strange year for me. It should go without saying that the politics were grim, as the United States continued to embrace gestapo-esque tactics and concentration camps as a way of dealing with the “immigration crisis” (a lot of this happened under Obama too of course). The planet continued to slide into a dystopia of global warming as more and more animals became endangered or went extinct all-together. The mid-terms happened, with typically mixed results. Elon Musk called someone a pedophile on twitter for some reason.

On a personal level, in 2018 I moved to Ohio from Oregon (again). My band put out an EP. And I lost my father, something that I still grapple with on a daily basis, though it gets less present over time.

I’ve become interested in how I discover new music, as I’ve gotten older and can’t really consider myself to be fully plugged into any sort of youth culture, sub or otherwise. Finding new music has become a very intentional process; if I didn’t seek it out deliberately, I probably wouldn’t end up hearing much of anything. But that’s always kind of true for arty-weirdos like me.

For better or worse I discovered a lot of music the last two years through Youtube. As you probably know, if you play a song or an album on Youtube, there’s an autoplay feature that will automatically play something else when it’s done. I’ve found a lot of my favorite music lately this way, and in some ways it’s kind of filled the role that “cool record store clerk” or “late-night college dj” might have filled in the times past. This is not necessarily a good change. I’ve heard you can find a lot of white supremacists that way too.

Youtube has also become invaluable if you’re someone who wants to make a list like this one, and can’t afford to spend hundreds of dollars on albums. I think sometimes the artists even get paid a minuscule amount for the clicks! Hooray free information! I hope we can all find decent jobs someday.

1) CAMP COPE - HOW TO SOCIALISE & MAKE FRIENDS

I debated with myself about whether to put Camp Cope at number one, as they’re not the most musically complex or adventurous of my favorite albums this year. However I can’t think of another band that felt like it lyrically captured the zeitgeist of the times in such a powerful way. The whole album is great, catchy and upbeat jangly indie/punk with tinges of early 90s midwestern emo, made by three woman from Melbourne, Australia. Singer Georgia McDonald has a great voice, imbued with urgency, and her accent is a lot of fun to listen to too. Her lyrics have that same emotional rawness and honest specificity that early emo has as well - on “The Omen” she sings about loving someone since they were 17 and wishes for rescue dogs and a house by the sea, while on “I’ve Got You,” she bounces from the death of her father to police shootings, the loss of her childhood home, and the grappling with mental illness, and it all feels thematically relevant as this great moment of exhaled catharsis.

The stand-outs for me, however, are “The Opener” and “The Face of God.” “The Opener” is a scorching indictment of the indie music scene, as McDonald calls-out all the garbage women in bands have to deal with, from accusations that they only succeed based on their gender, to men continually explaining things, to men showing up to lay down a big steamy pile of unrequited love BS. These aren’t new observations, but hearing them all laid out in a row like this highlights their invulnerability and their ubiquitousness, the daily microaggressions that lead up to a larger picture of persistent inequality. On “The Face of God,” McDonald narrativizes the Me Too movement from the perspective of an abused fan, musing “could it be true? You couldn’t do that to someone. Not you, nah your music is too good,” her tortured delivery capturing the rage, shame, disbelief, and sadness of all the Me Too revelations about artists that we liked, and who abused that power again and again and again and again and again and again and again an

2) IDLES - JOY AS AN ACT OF RESISTANCE

Image by Paul Hudson via Flickr

Idles was one of my favorite discoveries of last year. I was actually a little concerned with this album since I’d heard the band was “embracing positivity” , and what I loved about Brutalism was their raw, unhinged sound and clever but cynical and pissed-off lyrics. There’s also a recurring thing for me of finding a really cool raw sounding band, punk adjacent but not necessarily fully in the scene, who then get less “punk” (and to me, less interesting) with each subsequent release as they sort of turn into just another indie dude band who like Big Star or the Replacements. This band sounds raw as fuck, I’ll say, and then later they’ll put out their fucking mandolin album.

Joy as an Act of Resistance is dope though, as their music continues to embrace a raw, chaotic sound of guitars that both swirl and jab like shards of glass, pounding “Lust For Life” toms, and stripped down basslines, while frontman Joe Talbot howls sarcastic indictments of masculinity, homophobia, and racism. In a similar way to last year’s Pissed Jeans album, they tackle ugly toxic masculinity with ugly, tough sounding music, hearkening back to a punk rock that was less rigid in sound. There’s this infectious positivity that runs through the whole thing however, a joy that comes from casting off the fixed roles that the patriarchal society tries to put upon us and embracing our (ironically) gentler natures. “I wanna be your best ever friend forever” Talbot says, sincerely on “Love Song.” “Let’s hug it out,” he repeats on “Never Fight a Man With A Perm,” and though the song is making fun of a coked out bruiser, I have a feeling it’s a sentiment he would share.

3) THE ARMED - ONLY LOVE

The synthesis of hardcore punk with electronic music is something I’ve been anticipating. There’s definitely been forebearers (Horse the Band comes to mind, though there’s probably other stuff in the underground), but this is the first time I’ve heard it done so well. The Armed sound like if you took one of the better mid-2000s screamy hardcore bands and mixed it with the noisiest and most frenetic parts of a chip-tune song. That may sound like a nightmare to a lot of you, but again, it’s done so well here that it just sounds like a noisy chaotic mess in the best and most elegant possible way. This is not to underplay the tightness of the song-craft at work here - the chaotic sound seems to me to be carefully orchestrated. Glitchy, brutal, climatic, and beautiful. (And the parts where the lady sings remind me of Blatz. The world could use more Blatz.)

4) SCREAMING FEMALES - ALL AT ONCE

Image by Jason Persse via Flickr

This band is kind of a mainstay on my year end list at this point, but I feel like they continually top their previous efforts, a rare quality for most bands. Incredible vocals, incredible song-writing, incredible guitar playing, as they reach ever greater levels of accessibility and hookiness, while still maintaining that slight edge that would put them forever as at home in a basement as a venue.

5) KALI UCHIS - ISOLATION

Kali Uchis lands at that sweet spot where pop, hip-hop, jazz, soul, and psychedelia intersect that’s occupied by similar weirdos like Janelle Monae, Miguel, and the Internet. It’s no wonder that one of the all-time prophets of future-looking pop, Boots Riley, shows up on one of the singles. There’s a real bossa-nova, latin jazz vibe on a lot of these tracks, and a kind of retro-sheen even as it pushes into the future. “It’s no fun to feel like a fool,” Kali Uchis croons while straight up wall of sound style saxophones blurp in the background. “Pussy is a hell of an addiction.”

6) THE INTERNET - HIVE MIND

Another year-end list staple for me, the Internet have been consistently putting out some of the best, solid-ass R+B since 2011. The whole thing is smooth as hell, but weird or tasteful in all the right places; the “hoo hoo” on “Humble Pie” or the building horns on “Mood.” And retaining just a hint of that old Odd Future off-kilterness around the edges. OG Dungeon Family poet “Big Rube” shows up on “It Gets Better (With Time).”

7) JEAN GRAE AND QUELLE CHRIS - EVERYTHING’S FINE

Quelle Chris is a new one for me, but I rocked Jean Grae when I first started getting into indie rap back in high school. I always wondered what happened to her since then, but apparently she’s been putting out a steady stream of mixtapes and underground releases pretty much the whole time, self releasing a lot of them through bandcamp. She’s a wicked lyricist, and her and Quelle Chris trade off bars of dense wordplay and biting commentary on the current age of “self-care” and neoliberal hellscapes over beats that are just weird enough. Much of their verses are delivered through a lens of ironic detachment, but it’s especially affecting when the irony cracks into real urgency or emotion, as in “Breakfast of Champions,” a reflection on the grueling, consistent presence of racism in America. “It’s bound to wreck your body or straight burn your body out” they muse, and then later, as if realizing the gravity of it all, “it’s like damn, shit, fuck, wow…”

Also Quelle Chris apparently taught himself to program 8-bit video games for one of the videos.

8) SELF DEFENSE FAMILY - HAVE YOU CONSIDERED PUNK MUSIC

Yeah dude, you know I like punk rock that don’t follow no rules. This is definitely more in the vein of Fugazi, or maybe even a slightly more jagged Wilco, than a NOFX or 7 Seconds, with nods to Americana and a vocal delivery that reminds me of a raspier Craig Finn. A central preoccupation of the album seems to be the delicate balance between art and maturity, made all the more so when you’re tied to a subculture that’s only “supposed” to last you through your early 20s. There’s some great lines throughout: “ “Explaining motherhood to a man, cold observation but he’s not capable of understanding; detailing math to a dog, won’t retain a word but if you’re lucky he may be a good boy and nod” and “The world’s not turning for you and the road never rises, you’re eking out a living like every other asshole” are highlights for me, but I think my favorite bit of cleverness is actually just the juxtaposition between the titles of tracks 6 and 7. “Have You Considered Punk Music?” asks one. The other: “Have You Considered Anything Else?”

9) SINGLE MOTHERS - THROUGH A WALL

Image by CRUSTINA! via Flickr

And here we have a release that’s a little more meat and potatoes, with steam-rolling drum beats, distortion, and yelled vocals about the desperation to be found in modern life’s mudanities, “dog parks and IPA.” This album’s just some fucking ferocious non-screamy hardcore, with that same relentless quality that the best hardcore albums have. “Catch and Release” even has some double kick on it. Interestingly, I find some of the core anxieties the same as in the album above however: “Better people than you or I have lost that spark for life,” Andrew Thomson bellows on 24/7, a Cassandra portending the potential pitfalls of age.

10) HOP ALONG - BARK YOUR HEAD OFF, DOG

Singer Francis Quinlan has an incredible voice, powerful and worldly, and she paints quick snapshots of narrative with her lyrics like a Lydia Davis story. The music has shades of mid-western emo, with some kind of funky, almost Jackson 5 style guitar lines. This one is definitely a step up in terms of instrumentation from their earlier records, with strings, acoustic guitars, and other orchestral touches. The title refers specifically to a dying dog from one of the tracks, though it also seems to apply to all the characters briefly given voice throughout the album.

11) CINDER WELL - THE UNCONSCIOUS ECHO

Beautiful, haunting folk from Amelia Baker of Blackbird Raum (and a few other fellows mostly from the folk punk/bluegrass scene). A little more straight folk than Blackbird Raum’s high energy mix of folk, metal, and hardcore. Stripped down and evocative, with one foot firmly in an irish folk tradition. Like Blackbird Raum, there is a foreboding quality to much of the music, like a warning of dark things to come.

12) NONAME - ROOM 25

A micro-trend I noticed in hip-hop this year was short albums, notable from a tradition that often includes massive releases and mixtapes stuffed with skits and interludes. This is the first of example of this on my list, clocking in at a respectable 34:48. Noname is a great rapper with an intricate flow, technical without being too dense for a more casual listener, keeping her ideas and narratives clear and present over funky neo soul beats. At times she can be extremely candid, rapping about her sexual escapades, emotions, and insecurities. In one of my favorite moments, the track titled “No Name,” she discusses the spirituality behind her stage name: “When we walk into heaven, nobody’s name gon’ exist; just boundless movement for joy, nakedness radiance.” She’s funny too though. “I’m just writing my darkest secrets like wait and just hear me out; saying vegan food is delicious like wait and just hear me out.”

13) JEFF ROSENSTOCK - POST

More noisy power pop from former Bomb the Music Industry frontman Jeff Rosenstock (though I suppose by this point his solo career is at least as significant; Bomb albums never made it to Pitchfork). I think this one’s a little less varied than “Worry” before it, and a little rawer around the edges. The title is seemingly referring to the time post-2016 election, though it seems to often be more interested in profiling the anxious mood than making specific political points (which you probably all know anyway). I can’t think of another song writer off the top of my head that more consistently exemplifies the anxieties of the millennial generation, whether it’s the mid-20s woes of joblessness and friend loss often detailed in Bomb the Music Industry, or this current outing. On “Yr Throat,” he talks about the ease he has talking about relatively frivolous matter like video games and vinyl records, verses more important matters. One of my favorite lines in the song is a little more direct however, commenting on you-know-who: “It’s not like any other job I know; if you’re a piece of shit they don’t let you go.”

14) DEATH GRIPS - YEAR OF THE SNITCH

Image by Montecruz Foto via Flickr

Supposedly the album title has something to do with Charles Manson, at least according to their very vocal and sometimes uncomfortably affiliated online fanbase. It’s pretty rare that I can fully decipher what a song is about, other than generally surreal lyrics that hint toward a dirty and unsettling underground, whether urban, suburban, or solely online. Death Grips, if you don’t know, make experimental and abstract hip-hop, featuring dark and somewhat unconventional beats, with a live drummer, seeming to draw as much from the tradition of noise music than from rap. For as weird as all this is, however, there’s usually a pretty solid song structure underlying each track, and they create some sticky hooks out of all the electronic chaos and bellowed raps. This time around there seems to be a bit of a shoegaze influence as well, which…. doesn’t quite fit their aesthetic? But is pretty interesting all the same.

15) RAVYN LENAE - CRUSH

Steve Lacy from the Internet (the band) produced this 5 track long EP of retro/future funk and R+B. “Sticky” is as catch a song as ever there was, and Ravyn Lenae does a great job kind of floating over the beat, mixing up her delivery. These artists nod a lot to 70s R+B and funk, and I love that they preserve the strangeness of a lot of that stuff, that otherwordly vibe, whether it’s the “oooo-HOO-hoo-hoo” on “Sticky” or the blunted synth stabs on “4 Leaf Clover.”

16) HINDS - I DON’T RUN

Image by Paul Hudson via Flickr

Indie rock from Madrid with several lady vocalists that’s just a tad sloppy, in a good way. Catchy and relationship oriented, but scratching at something deeper beyond the surface. I love the way the vocal mics all seem to distort slightly. Maybe I’m just an old now, but it makes me nostalgic for college in some way, smoking cigarettes and being heartbroken. Which was probably not actually as fun as I remember it.

17) JPEGMAFIA - VETERAN

Hard as hell raps over jittery noise beats that sometimes merge into moments of dreamlike beauty from a hip-hop auteur who handles all the production himself. This kind of reminds me of when Pitchfork called Odd Future “/b/ boys” (referring to 4chan). This is the new Extremely Online hip-hop, endlessly irony poisoned, vaguely left-wing but mostly cynical, inside jokes upon inside jokes. It seems like there’s some real anger in here too, and his raps often involve promises of violence, usually upon various members of the alt right: “Look, it’s the young alt-right menace; What’s the pistol to a pennant?”

18) MILO - BUDDING ORNITHOLOGISTS ARE WEARY OF TIRED ANALOGIES

Milo reminds me of the best of the older backpacker rappers, dropping classic lines so fast that you miss about 2/3rds of them the first couple times through. Equally at home dropping a reference to a video game, a philosopher, the harshness of race in America, and the Guggenheim fellowship, like one of those memes that eradicates the distinction between high and low culture by putting references to existentialist philosophers over a picture of Spongebob. Of course, hip-hop has always been doing that, hasn’t it?

19) EARL SWEATSHIRT - SOME RAP SONGS

Image by Anna Hanks via Flickr

Another notably short album, at a brisk 24:39. The songs are short too, often coming across as sketches, though really this is the kind of project made to listen to in one sitting. Like a lot of the rap albums on here, this is a project that takes the beats as well as the rhymes seriously, pushing forward into avant garde territory, but in a mellower way than JPEGMAFIA or Death Grips. They have an almost hypnotic quality to them, as Earl raps in his slightly aloof manner, though here the aloofness feels more like a mask only thinly hiding a deep sense of melancholy. The samples on here are thick with that old record hiss - even the vocals are hissy, like a transmission from someplace far away.

20) SUDAN ARCHIVES - SINK

Sudan Archives is a violinist from Cincinnati who makes pop music that sounds like nothing else out there, though it takes cues from hip-hop, R+B, electronica, and world music. The beats are stripped down but still lush sounding, the violin often leading in a way that sounds strange and otherwordly, utilized for it’s ability to create rhythmic hooks, while her lyrics meld the personal with the empowering with the political.

21) TEYANA TAYLOR - K.T.S.E.

Kanye West produced 5 different 7 to 8 track albums this year, with mixed results. A lot of people stan Pusha T’s Daytona, but this one was my favorite, a short and sweet album that’s mellow, romantic, and a little dirty. Teyana Taylor puts in a very versatile performance, and her voice is perfectly suited to ride over the old soul samples that make up the bulk of the production. Kanye’s musical output was of course overshadowed by his various bizarre political statements and right wing flirtations, but it would be a shame for this gem to get lost in the fray.

22) CHURCH OF THE COSMIC SKULL - SCIENCE FICTION

I don’t always love heavily conceptualized “revival” type bands, but this one is so much fun, not just doing pitch perfect 70s hard rock, but also spoofing (at least, I think it’s a spoof) the phenomenon of 70s cults. The members seem to dress in all white, and look like they just stepped off some Jesus-dude’s farm/compound. Of course it wouldn’t work if the music wasn’t so damn hooky. Harmonies, heavy organs, and hella riffs.

23) VINCE STAPLES - FM!

And another super short hip-hop album from one of contemporary rap’s best. Vince’s projects usually feature stripped down beats that would sound good in a car or a club, but the lyrical matter is dark as hell, another example of what a strange genre gangsta rap is when viewed from the outside. It’s hyper-masculine and braggadocios, but also equally often an expression of black pain that is then commodified into bangers for clubs, cars, and house parties full of white frat boys to dance and drink to. The contrast is all the more apparent every time Vince mentions one of his dead friends. I dunno dude, maybe I’m just getting old.

24) JANELLE MONAE - DIRTY COMPUTER

This didn’t grab me as immediately as her previous two full lengths, trending a little too close to mainstream pop for my tastes. But underneath the added sheen, it’s still a Janelle Monae album, bouncing gleefully from Prince-style funk jams to buoyant electro tunes. Monae drops the cyber-punk robo future concept to make an on-the-nose, album length celebration of queerness (though I think there may be some sci-fi on the Dirty Computer short film, which I haven’t watched yet.) The celebratory nature fits the larger, more conventional pop moves here, a sort of “queering” of mainstream pop. There’s also more rapping here than ever, and it’s always fun to hear Monae drop some bars.

25) FUCKED UP - DOSE YOUR DREAMS

Image by CRUSTINA! via Flickr

Similar to the above, this is an album from a long time favorite of mine that didn’t grab me as much as their earlier efforts, and that also seems to be making some moves toward a more mainstream pop sound, though here of course it’s pop music featuring a bellowing, gravel voiced hardcore singer and a bunch of loud Cock Sparrer style guitar lines. This is a concept album, apparently about a character who quits his job and goes on a drug fueled odyssey through the nature of reality, learning to reject an oppressive capitalist society, which sounds like the plot of an 80s British comic book, and hey, the cover is basically ripped straight from the pages of Watchmen, so there you go. They try out a lot of different styles here, which can be a bit hit or miss, but the core of Fucked Up, the interplay between Abraham’s bombastic bellows and huge sounding guitars, is as raucous and triumphant as ever, if a little more familiar.

[steveburgos121]

Stolen from Aguilar

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? Briana Ileen Aguilar Burgos
2. Are you outgoing or shy? I am mostly outgoing but tend to stay to myself.
3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? My girlfriend but im fucking scared cause her parents lowkey want to kill me
4. Are you easy to get along with? Yes unless you’re an ignorant asshole
5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? Yes but they would probably make me do something funny, record it, then help me.
6. What kind of people are you attracted to? People who are short, have a little girl voice, can have their hair look so good when it’s up, can rap No Vaseline by Ice Cube, have a dog named charger, the first letter of their first name is B and make fun of my big head.
7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? Yes this girl is now stuck with me forever. As soon as she kissed me she sold her soul to me 
8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? Selena Gomez 
9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Nah it’s natural, unless you mention my parents doing it then fuck you 
10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? My homegirl Aguilar 
11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? Please keep your head amor. Everything is okay 
12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?
1.) Chanel - Frank Ocean
2.) Ain’t It Funny - Danny Brown
3.) Legend Has It - Run The Jewels
4.) Land Of The Free - Joey Bada$$
5.) Am I Wrong - Anderson .Paak (I know one of these isn’t like the others) 
13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? No it’s uncomfortable cause my hair looks fucking flawless… unless you’re my girlfriend then pull my hair while you’re at it
14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? Yes, there’s a lot of good things that happen to people for it to all just be coincidence 
15. What good thing happened this summer? I finally let go of a lot of tension that I slowly built up for two years 
16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Without hesitation tf BRING THAT ASS HERE BOIII
17. Do you think there is life on other planets? Yes, the universe is to big for us to be the lonely ones 
18. Do you still talk to your first crush? Ha no
19. Do you like bubble baths? I haven’t taken one in a long time so maybe
20. Do you like your neighbors? Don’t really know them 
21. What are your bad habits? I have the worst fucking memory in the history of ever
22. Where would you like to travel? Coachella 23. Do you have trust issues? Terrible 
24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Laying in bed after a long day
25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? Stomach or Neck
26. What do you do when you wake up? Go back to sleep
27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? Lighter, I wanna be a light skin
28. Who are you most comfortable around? My family, cousins, and Briana
29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? No just they’re sorry but didn’t explain why
30. Do you ever want to get married? Yes, I’m planning to wife her down
31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? I tried to grow my hair out last year, I gave up after 7 months
32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? I don’t know that’s weird to think about maybe Katy 
33. Spell your name with your chin. Sgecr 
34. Do you play sports? What sports? I started running Track this year, one of the best decisions I’ve made in awhile 
35. Would you rather live without TV or music? Ha fuck tv 
36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? I think everyone has
37. What do you say during awkward silences? Nothing I just make weird noises from my mouth, like clicks or pops
38. Describe your dream girl/guy? Look @ answer 6
39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? Urban Outfitters, Finish Line, Hot Topic
40. What do you want to do after high school? Go to college
41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Yes, people are human and it sucks 
42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? I don’t want to interact 
43. Do you smile at strangers? No that makes me and probably them feel uncomfortable 
44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? That’s so hard because space would be crazy but imagine what kind of things you could see at the bottom of the ocean… this one is hard
45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? Trying not to fail school and dropping out to become a stripper 46. What are you paranoid about? If I’m ever good enough 47. Have you ever been high? No but it would be interesting to try it out 48. Have you ever been drunk? Nah fuck alcohol 49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? Not recently, I’m not sure if ever 50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? Red, my Nike hoodie I wear to track 51. Ever wished you were someone else? Someone who isn’t always angry all the time 52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? My height, I wanna be taller 53. Favourite makeup brand? All of them 54. Favourite store? Finish Line 55. Favourite blog? Frank Oceans 56. Favourite colour? Marine blue or dark red 57. Favourite food? Spaghetti or chicken bread 58. Last thing you ate? Cocoa Pebbles 59. First thing you ate this morning? A sandwich my loony made me 60. Ever won a competition? For what? My track team won our first meet by 28 points if that counts 61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? No I’m a good boy 62. Been arrested? For what? Still a good boy 63. Ever been in love? Currently 64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? We were watching Netflix in eight grade 65. Are you hungry right now? I’m always hungry it sucks 66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? My only tumblr friend is my girlfriend in real life so I like them evenly 67. Facebook or Twitter? Facebook sucks ass 68. Twitter or Tumblr? Tweet tweet motherfucker 69. Are you watching tv right now? I don’t even have a tv in my room 70. Names of your bestfriends? Briana, cutie, Aguilar, hot stuff, cutie with the bootie, wifey, princess Bri, baby Bri, on and my lovely girlfriend. 71. Craving something? Look at question 1 72. What colour are your towels? Blue 72. How many pillows do you sleep with? 2 I need more fluffy ones 73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? With two yes 74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? Like 4 I think 75. Favourite animal? The one with hair and eyes 76. What colour is your underwear? Dark blue and grey 77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Vanilla 78. Favourite ice cream flavour? Cookie Dough 79. What colour shirt are you wearing? A non existent color 80. What colour pants? Sky blue shorts 81. Favourite tv show? THE WALKING DEAD 82. Favourite movie? Logan , ever since I watched it I haven’t stopped thinking about it 83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? Mean girls, never seen the second one 84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? 21 Jump Street, that shit is hilarious 85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? The girl 86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? That’s so hard to choose 87. First person you talked to today? My Father 88. Last person you talked to today? My amorcita bonita 89. Name a person you hate? Miguel 90. Name a person you love? Briana 91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? Miguel 92. In a fight with someone? Not at the moment 93. How many sweatpants do you have? I had two but my girlfriend stole and I think I lost the other one 94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? 10 maybe a little less 95. Last movie you watched? Get Our 96. Favourite actress? Dafne Keen 97. Favourite actor? Hugh Jackson and Robert Downy Jr. 98. Do you tan a lot? When I was lifeguard yes 99. Have any pets 4 little dogs 100. How are you feeling? Very very very tired 101. Do you type fast? Not really, this has taken multiple days. 102. Do you regret anything from your past? A couple things, maybe not in the future 103. Can you spell well? Well 104. Do you miss anyone from your past? Yes but then I remember who tf I am 105. Ever been to a bonfire party? No but I want to go to one that would be cool 106. Ever broken someone’s heart? Yes it’s funny 107. Have you ever been on a horse? In Mexico in like 2006 108. What should you be doing? Sleeping 109. Is something irritating you right now? I can’t see my girlfriend for a month 110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? I’m not sure 111. Do you have trust issues? Wasn’t this question already asked? 112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Briana, like a million times 113. What was your childhood nickname? I didn’t have one 114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? Yes multiple times, Cali and Mexico 115. Do you play the Wii? No but I should start playing it again 116. Are you listening to music right now? Yes, Lite Weight by Anderson .Paak 117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? I think so? 118. Do you like Chinese food? Fuck yeah, especially P.F Changs ughhhh I want some now 119. Favourite book? I think it would be a tie between The Great Gatsby and Man’s Search for Meaning 120. Are you afraid of the dark? Nope the dark is the most relaxing thing in the world 121. Are you mean? Lowkey yes and I hate it 122. Is cheating ever okay? 123. Can you keep white shoes clean? Yes, I could probably be a sneaker head if I wanted to 124. Do you believe in love at first sight? No you can’t love someone without getting to know them dafuq this isn’t a Nicholas Spark book get that shit out of here 125. Do you believe in true love? Of course, I never knew how strong it was until I got my best friend 126. Are you currently bored? I’m doing my psychology book review so yes 127. What makes you happy? My girlfriend, family, music, and track 128. Would you change your name? Nah I actually have learned to really like my name 129. What your zodiac sign? ♋️ 130. Do you like subway? I liked it better when I got it for free 131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? Date the shit out of her 132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? Your mom jk my novia 133. Favourite lyrics right now? I see both sides like channel 134. Can you count to one million? Is that even possible? 135. Dumbest lie you ever told? I’m 12 inches my mans 136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? Closed but I want them open 137. How tall are you? 5'7 138. Curly or Straight hair? Straight 139. Brunette or Blonde? Brunette 140. Summer or Winter? Summer fuck snow 141. Night or Day? Day I hate nights 142. Favourite month? October 143. Are you a vegetarian? No maybe I should be… SIKE I love my meat 144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? Dark chocolate 145. Tea or Coffee? Coffee 146. Was today a good day? Yes my highlights were my baby and track practice 147. Mars or Snickers? Snickers 148. What’s your favourite quote? We gon be Alright 149. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes shit is scary 150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? “If my lack of emotion had not surprised me from the standpoint of professional interest, I would not remember this incident now, because there was so little feeling involved in it.”

[swipestream]

Cobra Kai Kicks Lost in Space’s Ass!

Lost in Space, Netflix’s revamp of the classic SF TV series, is so abysmally bad that there’s no end to the possible critiques one could lodge against it. The biggest complaint—and, ultimately, the only one that matters—is that it’s boring. Tedious. Excruciatingly bland and stupefying.

In fact, the only thing that broke up the boredom was my visceral dislike for all the characters. Each and every one, a Wesley Crusher. An entire family, an entire show, of people so aggravating and unlikable, that if I sat next to one on an airplane, I’d choke them out before we hit the runway. I hated them, and I hated every minute I had to spend with them.

Folks, when writing something, strive to create characters that are likable, or at least interesting. Unlikable and boring is pretty much the nadir of character design, and Lost in Space hit that jackpot each and every time.

The show was so awful, it isn’t even worth spending the time to analyze why. It was shallow, it was insipid, and by the end I was just begging for it to be over.

So let’s flip to the other TV series I watched this week: Cobra Kai. YouTube Red’s sequel to The Karate Kid—the good one, not the modern reboot—put up two free eps, and since they looked pretty good, I decided to subscribe to YouTube Red. Wait, I’m not insane: the first month is free, so I’m not giving YouTube money or anything crazy like that.

Thankfully, Cobra Kai wasn’t as bad as Lost in Space. I didn’t hate all the characters, I was interested in where the story was going and, though it’s not the best thing on television, it is pretty good, up until the very end. That last episode, though… phew. (Spoilers to follow.)

Set 34 years after the original movie, Cobra Kai follows Johnny Lawrence, the blonde pretty boy who took the lead in bullying fresh-faced Daniel LaRusso. In the years since losing the All-Valley Karate Tournament to Danny, his life has gone straight downhill. A freshly-unemployed drunk, surrounded by TV commercials and billboards for LaRusso Luxury Motors, he’s a bit bitter about where his life ended up. Fresh out of options, he decides to reopen the Cobra Kai dojo to a fresh generation of students.

Though rivals, the series takes pains to show that both characters are struggling with their own set of problems, and both deal with them badly. Drunk one night, Johnny spray paints a penis on one of Danny’s billboards, and Danny retaliates by manipulating Johnny’s landlord into doubling the rent on the Cobra Kai dojo. On the plus side, both men become senseis to teen students, passing on their respective forms of karate.

The show dips deep into the well of nostalgia, and as usual for this kind of thing, mirrors events from the first movie. Johnny intervenes on behalf of an embattled student, Miguel Diaz, saving him from a beating by a crowd of karate-trained high school bullies. Diaz then becomes Johnny’s first student when he reopens the Cobra Kai dojo. Danny likewise takes in a student (Johnny’s estranged son, a budding juvenile criminal), teaching him the same way Mr. Miyagi did 34 years ago, wax-on, wax-off and all. And, of course, both students meet at the All-Valley Karate Championships.

Which is where the wheels come off. To Johnny’s disgust, the only students he can attract at his dojo are the losers, freaks, and nerds of the school. The series takes great pains to show how they’re the despised and belittled rejects of the high school social scene, but under Johnny’s tutelage they gain confidence and self-respect. Diaz even gets to shine in a well done karate showdown with the four bullies, pummeling them into submission in the middle of the school cafeteria.

The entire show depicts everyone as just people, no true villains and no absolute heroes. (In fact Johnny, for all his flaws, is the most consistently decent person in the show. He’s in a bad situation because of past mistakes, but tries diligently to straighten out his life and get back on track.) Yet, for reasons, the last episode needs some unalloyed villains, so the Cobra Kai kids—the losers, freaks, and nerds—are recruited for the task. They cheat, belittle opponents, and explode in rage when they lose. This, despite Johnny telling them not to. They’re all around bad sports.

The series could have been about flawed men finding peace in teaching others how to rise above their flaws. In helping kids get their lives together, Danny and Johnny could have learned how to do the same. Yet, in order to set up a White Hat vs. Black Hat final confrontation (and, apparently, to set up the show’s next season), the series abandons all the themes and events it’s been building to, in favor of a cheap ending that blesses Danny’s student with unearned grace. It’s a morally incoherent cop out. The series had so much potential, but squandered it in the last episode.

Lost in Space lasted ten hours, but felt much longer. Cobra Kai lasted just over five hours, and was a pretty fun watch, up until the bizarre ending. On about 1/1000th the budget, it’s 1000 times as fun. I don’t know that I’d exactly recommend either, but if forced to chose, I’d suggest Cobra Kai over Lost in Space any day.

Cobra Kai is about karate. Lost in Space felt like I was getting my ass kicked with karate.

I know which I’d chose.

Jasyn Jones, better known as Daddy Warpig, is a host on the Geek Gab podcast, a regular on the Superversive SF livestreams, and blogs at Daddy Warpig’s House of Geekery. Check him out on Twitter.

Cobra Kai Kicks Lost in Space’s Ass! published first on https://medium.com/@ReloadedPCGames

[junker-town]

Dirk Nowitzki has 30,000 points. Do you have 30,000 of anything?

I asked Twitter users what they had 30,000 of, and here’s what they said.

On Tuesday, after Dirk Nowitzki reached and passed 30,000 points, I tweeted this.

Dirk has 30,000 points do you have 30,000 of anything

— Tim Cato (@tim_cato) March 8, 2017

It was meant as a way to put Nowitzki’s incredible accomplishment into perspective, but Twitter quickly took it literally, too. There must have been a few 100 people who responded, when you count replies and quote tweets. Here’s what you all came up with.

The people who have tweeted 30,000 times

we got tweets. https://t.co/6Wrsd2MGYO

— SB Nation NBA (@SBNationNBA) March 8, 2017

This was by far the most popular response. Congrats to everyone who uses Twitter way too much! (I have more than 30,000 tweets, too, so I’m not here to judge.)

Tweets https://t.co/Ob5O5azftA

— Rodger Sherman (@rodger_sherman) March 8, 2017

Tweets. https://t.co/Jj0QJvZwI8

— Alessandro Miglio (@AlexMiglio) March 8, 2017

Tweets https://t.co/hXY7URR27Z

— PJ Clark (@TheRealPJClark) March 8, 2017

I got at least 68k tweets he needs to step it up what a fucking loser https://t.co/2HXMkafecA

— Neil Automata (@FIabbergaster) March 8, 2017

Tweets....that's about it. https://t.co/5KbdfrpSbm

— Pete (@ohcrapitspete) March 8, 2017

Had 30,000 tweets years ago https://t.co/lbVIPfX0uE

— Babyface Don Dada (@TerrenceDaGawd) March 8, 2017

I have 140k+ tweets. You tell that nerd Dirk I said "Good luck reaching that tally!" https://t.co/5kFY4FeceR

— Demetrius (@fergoe) March 8, 2017

Tweets. https://t.co/inG0bybdwB

— Meet Me At The Rim. (@MirazNBA) March 8, 2017

fam I have over 50,000 trash tweets posted to this horrible horrible website https://t.co/o7edQsD4x0

— Len Damico (@lendamico) March 8, 2017

BY FAR the most popular. There’s close to 100 more responses like this.

A few people who know their tweets are bad

bad tweets https://t.co/81IAMKaVDf

— Julius Swerving (@GoingHard_inger) March 8, 2017

Bad tweets https://t.co/xDSPZy3yus

— Mike Gianella (@MikeGianella) March 8, 2017

Easily 30,000 problematic tweets https://t.co/65AO0fF0Tb

— Camp Blo (@dances) March 8, 2017

One person who got beat by Dirk again

Tweets. Wait, no, only 20k. Dirk wins again. https://t.co/obuQQInBy6

— March Paggness (@paggawoot) March 8, 2017

People who have $30,000 in student loan debt

Student loans https://t.co/Y2dEkrJGLf

— Chris Manning (@cwmwrites) March 8, 2017

*furiously buzzing in* What is student loan debt dollars. https://t.co/sneNH1hlHn

— tony (@_2XL_) March 8, 2017

Dollars in student loan debts https://t.co/62Wv4po2qT

— Zoedingo (@Datsdat1Haitian) March 8, 2017

I got like 30k in debt beat that https://t.co/CFQPPvzb0r

— Handsome Ass Nigga (@SellCrackToKids) March 8, 2017

student loan debt https://t.co/O9mNvV8qpz

— uwm panther liker (@travis_mke) March 8, 2017

Dollars in debt https://t.co/6N76hcvUdD

— cougar bae (@iMsBianca) March 8, 2017

Sorry, everyone. Best of luck to your financial futures! (Once again, there’s at least 50 more responses like this.)

People who Skip Bayless would be proud of

Takes https://t.co/aI01a4eVWR

— Vann R. Newkirk II (@fivefifths) March 8, 2017

Takes https://t.co/paZJmXsO2G

— Chris Cwik (@Chris_Cwik) March 8, 2017

Bad opinions https://t.co/rBgbkKh00x

— Chris Towers (@CTowersCBS) March 8, 2017

People who are literalists and have 30,000 very normal things

cells https://t.co/tYzsefUEYp

— Soren (@ClutchBrodie) March 8, 2017

Cells https://t.co/ZpnmUxQ7py

— Mr. Pleasing (@MPleasing69) March 8, 2017

I'm sure I have 30000 hairs on my body https://t.co/qf5mOzeMAJ

— H. H. Gregg (@keelangregg98) March 8, 2017

Shoutout to my body cells tho https://t.co/EiBS6ywAYn

— Derek Tahara (@DerekTahara) March 8, 2017

Decibels when I speak https://t.co/9rCehSFIw6

— Zach Smith (@ZachSmith) March 8, 2017

Breaths https://t.co/FjO5SiZhgs

— X (@xaifromthebay) March 8, 2017

One high roller who’s buying us all dinner tonight

Dollars https://t.co/XmYSYYe0y2

— Frank (@FrankTheTank813) March 8, 2017

People who have 30,000 miles on their car

I have 70,000 miles on my car https://t.co/yoToVnh2Bu

— Matthew Perkins (@perk009) March 8, 2017

Just got to 30,000 miles on my car yesterday https://t.co/6vC5zJzITI

— Squid Gretzky (@BilalSquid) March 8, 2017

This might have been the third most popular answer, but it’s also the most boring so I’m only including two.

People who play A LOT of video games

I have 230,000 confirmed kills on black ops 2 so me > Dirk https://t.co/srD7WJ2sv7

— Mystic Marty (@Iverbure) March 8, 2017

Hours logged playing Mario Baseball. https://t.co/7fWTFLnisz

— Ryan Probasco (@ProbascoRyan) March 8, 2017

Got like 30,000 minutes played on Pokemon Leaf Green https://t.co/iiK34N0riT

— Jantel (@MidnightDlightt) March 8, 2017

Not even 30k points on TempleRun... https://t.co/9DVt5MsOpK

— Miguel Chines (@MiguelChines) March 8, 2017

30,000 hours I put in playing NCAA Football 2014. https://t.co/pOqBoH5RYb

— Brandon Blake (@Blake_Babbles) March 8, 2017

my Crazy Taxi high school is double that (Arcade mode) Triple that for original mode. https://t.co/h7EyCaJoGv

— MassRafTer (@mongo_ebooks) March 8, 2017

hours spent playing runescape https://t.co/vyxbDJf7sj

— Sasha Kalra (@sashakalra) March 8, 2017

There were also MANY people replying that they had more than 30,000 NBA 2K VC points.

One person who just wanted to roast the Los Angeles Chargers

the LA chargers dont even have that many seats in their new stadium! https://t.co/ZRZQ12aM7I

— Chicken Nugget (@McCartney_NFL) March 8, 2017

AND HE’S RIGHT* hahahahahah Chargers hahahahahhahahaha (*until the new stadium opens)

Three people who joined in with Portuguese answers!!

Decepções na vida https://t.co/pZRJJ2ENdK

— Augusto RipkaBarbosa (@augustorb) March 8, 2017

Gols no futiba dos broder https://t.co/N6E62KAAfA

— 10x2 foi pouco (@CFCmaicon) March 8, 2017

punheta https://t.co/jaDGe2sGaP

— Clifford Franklin (@birigdjow) March 8, 2017

The first one translates to “disappointments in life,” the second one didn’t translate well, and the third one is ... well, it’s inappropriate enough I’ll let you do it yourself. Still! Portugal, stand up!

People who have the sads :(

I have 30,000 crippling depressions https://t.co/BkHdktJ5dm

— dennis (@dennismyhero) March 8, 2017

I've taken 30,000 L's in my life https://t.co/R2MbkWVqEz

— Cinco anillos (@Cowabunga_Cole) March 8, 2017

L's https://t.co/HDJwDekCgq

— fargod (@FarbodNBA) March 8, 2017

I have 30,000 Ls https://t.co/RQVYYl9obZ

— Ninos ن (@Ninosssssssss) March 8, 2017

Problems https://t.co/V2e4kgc7HX

— Malcolm (@malcrealtalk) March 8, 2017

Hours of crippling self doubt https://t.co/XlTyeKxl6X

— 21 Saddage (@NoahHaramia) March 8, 2017

Do Ls count? https://t.co/9rcvzpXX6i

— Nelson (@TheRealestOfAll) March 8, 2017

My stress level on a 0-100 scale https://t.co/UxCPsNRezH

— Rudy (@_CoachRudy_) March 8, 2017

ignored texts https://t.co/gaP214NjKp

— yung s.a (@yungstupidass) March 8, 2017

@tim_cato i been curved that many times. that counts right?

— Hawks 34-28 (@JordanNoDiddy_) March 8, 2017

And we’ll even do a special category for “regrets”

Regrets. https://t.co/OD8q24sco1

— Brian H (@RunTheJules) March 8, 2017

Regrets, duh https://t.co/AgVuHkHNgq

— Jaz K (@MissUnndastood) March 8, 2017

Regrets https://t.co/Xt7hBIP64g

— cx (@cxcope) March 8, 2017

Regrets https://t.co/jkhxS0DStS

— Will Collins (@WilemPls) March 8, 2017

I’m rooting for all y’all.

One person who wasted way too much time on an essay that had a flawed premise

30,000 page essay on why wade is better https://t.co/z8OEOFMIMs

— Tʀᴇᴠᴏʀ¹³ (@OdellSZN) March 8, 2017

One dude who is the cops

Screenshots. Think most my age do. https://t.co/UKCb38H2Xr

— Josh Collacchi (@JoshCollacchi) March 8, 2017

People with VERY RELATABLE PROBLEMS TO MY OWN LIFE

Bed Bath & Beyond coupons in my junk drawer. https://t.co/p0WoP6Fadd

— Francis Warner (@effemwarner) March 8, 2017

30,000 dog hairs on all of my black shirts https://t.co/mxUfBBk8LN

— Trevor Grøuss (@notoriousTAG) March 8, 2017

Steve, seriously, stop emailing his wife

Steve has sent my wife 30,000 emails. Please stop emailing my wife Steve https://t.co/Qvxq7yJA22

— ryan, hey thats me! (@chasbanks3dbase) March 8, 2017

People losing hair accessories

Hair ties. I can only find 2, but the other 29, 998 are somewhere in my purse. https://t.co/RfueBLYV3r

— Carly (@nuclearcarly) March 8, 2017

Lost bobby pins, probably. https://t.co/P8hp84pc6R

— Cami Griffin (@CamiAnnG) March 8, 2017

One woman who is single-handedly keeping alive the Tony Romo jersey economic market

Tony Romo Jerseys https://t.co/5hBgj6W6wK

— Rachel Rizzuti (@Rizzuti09) March 8, 2017

One person who has clearly already set the Guinness world record

Children, I'm trying to set a Guinness world record https://t.co/L6RpMyWif4

— Steven (@ThaLiveKing) March 8, 2017

People who have eaten a LOT of food

jack in the box tacos eaten in my lifetime https://t.co/cPwOV2xZqS

— Antoine A (@sofanias317) March 8, 2017

slices of pizza eaten https://t.co/gCIXm6mfYw

— quavo fan account (@jordansawan_) March 8, 2017

Popeyes receipts! RT @tim_cato: Dirk has 30,000 points do you have 30,000 of anything

— b.wes ⚜️ (@_SaluteMeBitch) March 8, 2017

One person who isn’t quite sure how anatomy works (I hope?)

Bones https://t.co/p6GkeKPV5F

— Jessica Hudnall (@LegKickTKO) March 8, 2017

Two Microsoft Office fans

@tim_cato hours logged in Microsoft excel

— BD Wong Fan Account (@trillballins) March 8, 2017

Hours on Microsoft word https://t.co/F0Sja7wDSH

— Kirk White (@BUwMMerette) March 8, 2017

Thanks, trillballins.

One person who is sincerely a really great parent!

Hours spent combined watching three kids - gymnastics, football, dance, lacrosse, piano, art, and sign language. Dollars spent close prob https://t.co/2kHp3aYK5R

— Allan H (@FF_Hep) March 8, 2017

One banana enthusiast

probably ate 30,000 bananas in my lifetime https://t.co/J8v154vXwB

— (@UltraFlyKnits) March 8, 2017

One person who surprisingly isn’t our NFL editor RVB

Unread emails https://t.co/Quz6kV8t7J

— I Steal Followers (@YoWifeysFavDJ) March 8, 2017

One person who kind of has 30,000 points if you don’t read this tweet too carefully

No, but between Dirk and I we have 30,000 points https://t.co/l4gcpaKsFC

— Leigh Ellis (@LeighEllis) March 8, 2017

One person with a dated-but-still-funny joke format

Binders of women https://t.co/sPFc9koGeu

— swaggy mitch (@SwaggyMitch) March 8, 2017

SB Nation’s own Molly Podlesny, who sent 30,000 text messages in a month and deserves to be celebrated for it

in 8th grade i had 30,000 text messages one month and i got in big trouble & now dirk is getting honored but id like to know the difference https://t.co/3LTL21Pt6T

— Molly Podlesny (@mollypodlesny) March 8, 2017

This tweet, which makes no sense and yet I love it anyway

2+2= waffles. RT @tim_cato: Dirk has 30,000 points do you have 30,000 of anything

— tragique mulâtre (@vlado_il_milano) March 8, 2017

One person who is upset at the question

what kind of question is that everyone got 30,000 of something https://t.co/cfZ0bFFh3l

— Matthew (@Kingofthabear) March 8, 2017

And finally, one person who HAD to be like this

30,000 points isn't even a physical thing, it's simply a collection of historical events lol https://t.co/OOfmAXGisa

— Kole D Locks (@K0LETRAIN) March 8, 2017

Come on, man.

[purplesurveys]

594

How are you today? I’m doing okay. My classmates in my least favorite class, Newspaper Layout and Design, have been a big pain in my ass and I’ve been carrying the entire class on my back because no one has the initiative to start giving a fuck about the requirements (I’d want to not give a fuck either, but someone has to and I’m probably the most grade-conscious person in that class) – but it’s a Friday and I’m having amazing coffee right now so it balances out. Do you have mean comments that replay in your head and haunt you? Not really. Some days I’ll remember the one hate comment I got on my ask.fm which led me to delete my account altogether, but it doesn’t bother me because I kinda proved that person wrong eventually.

For context, they told me I should stop wishing to be in UP so bad and to actually pass the entrance exam first before I’m allowed to talk about how much the university means to me. Joke’s on them – I passed the UPCAT not long after. Doesn’t mean I’d forgot the demotivating message, though.

^If so, do you know why that is? I always want to please people and thrive on compliments, so I’m bound to remember every single bad thing anyone tells me. What are you currently worried about, if anything? I’m worried about my deadlines for my Layout class. The requirements are a group effort, and so long as my classmates don’t start moving, I can’t really pass my parts anyway because I have to wait on them. UGH Did you go Black Friday shopping this past Black Friday? Pls stop asking me first-world references

^If so, what was the best deal you got? Have you ever been Black Friday shopping? What is your favorite Thanksgiving food? Do you wear a watch every day? No. Wearing them always makes me feel like there is something on my wrist, and that bugs me haha.

Pineapple or pepperoni? I don’t like either. All-cheese pizzas are my favorite. What food makes you feel nauseous? Not to say that it makes me feel like vomiting or dizzy, but I was never really a big fan of blue cheese. I can handle it on my pizza and sometimes its flavor jibes well with the other cheeses, but the taste always sticks out so I’m not particularly obsessed with it. Have you ever seen a spirit? No. When you have your own house someday, what color Christmas tree do you want and how will you decorate it? I want it traditional, so I’m going with green. It’s gonna have all sorts of decor like baubles, snowflakes, tinsel, leaves, etc. My family has always made an effort to make our trees look super nice and detailed and I wanna pass that on when I have my own place and maybe even kids down the road. Name 3 youtube channels you've been loving lately. HiHo Kids, Mankalor, and Moon Jeongwon’s vlogging channel. Do you have a youtube channel? I do but it’s only so that YouTube can tailor my homepage to what I’m into at the moment, and so that I can like/dislike videos haha. I don’t post my own content. ^If so, does your family approve? ...I don’t think they should have an opinion about me owning a YouTube account. But in any case, they don’t really mind. What do you think about the new "for kids" or "not for kids" rules? Like, parental control? I guess it’s a good thing. Kids have always had very makulit hands and end up seeing stuff they’re not supposed to. Makulit is a Filipino word that defies translation, but I guess the closest thing to it is either mischievous or restless.

Case in point: Back when I was in high school, I was working at one of the library computers when these Grade 1 kids sat at the computer beside me. They were searching images of the movie Frozen and it was all normal for a bit, but they scrolled too far down and eventually they landed at this very questionable manip of Elsa and Anna doing some stuff that kids that age definitely shouldn’t be seeing. ^ Do they affect you? No. I’m neither a kid nor a parent. What is the most disgusting thing you have ever eaten? [slight trigger warning for the vegans!!! Sorry, Filipino cuisine can sometimes be a lot to take for non-Filipinos]  I’m super adventurous when it comes to food so I haven’t found anything I’ve tried disgusting. I don’t particularly like the flavor of bopis (pork/beef lungs and heart) and pinapaitan (goat and ox innards meat flavored with bile, tamarind and chillies), but I don’t find them disgusting, and I’d still eat them if that was served at a family party.

What food is so disgusting you could absolutely never eat it? Dog/cat meat. Do you like sushi? Love sushi. What color was the last sweater you wore? Gray. Name 3 material items on your wish list right now. Nintendo Switch, a new pair of shoes (wow I really am a grown-up), and cash. Are you planning on doing Vlogmas (for youtube) this year? No. Zoella’s the only person I know who still does lmao Have you ever done Vlogmas before? No. Have you ever made money off of youtube? Omg no Are you happy that the year is coming to an end? SO HAPPY. 2019 felt like it was three fucking years long. Have you ever bought a designer purse? I haven’t bought any with my own money. Do people tell you that you look sick when you wear a certain color? No? ^If yes, what color? Do you consider yourself creative? Not at all. ....outgoing? Kinda. It depends on the situation. If I’m meant to be doing something I like or hang out with people I know, I can be very outgoing; but if it’s an unfamiliar situation, I tend to be more shy and let other people lead the way. ....free-spirited? I don’t think I’d call myself that. ....shy? Yep, at first. ....socially awkward? It’s a hit or miss. Sometimes I’m great with socializing; other times I just miss the mark. Do you often feel alone? Mostly during the Christmas season. Otherwise it’s an on-off thing for me, but the loneliness is for the most part turned off. What could be the theme song to your life? I never know what to answer in questions like this. My life has had a lot of phases and it’s hard to sum it all up into a single song. List three new songs you've discovered this year that you like a lot. I Saw You In A Dream by The Japanese House, the Summer section of Vivaldi’s The Four Seasons (thanks, Portrait of a Lady on Fire), and Joji’s Dancing in the Dark. If you could win a shopping spree in any store, what would it be? Fully Booked. Do you wear jewelry often? Very seldom. List 10 of your favorite girl names. I list them on surveys all the tiiiiiimeeeeeeeee. Uhh Olivia, Mia, Arden, Harper, Juliana/Julia, Isabella, Elizabeth, Charlotte, Lily, Emilia. I’m feeling the name Eloise tonight too, so let’s throw that one in as a runner-up. List 10 of your favorite boy names. Miguel, Joaquin, Javier, Jacob, Mason, Noah, Liam, Seth, Leon, Luis. Andres is also good, so I’m putting that in even though it’s name 11. List 10 girl names (or up to 10) that you don't really care for. That’s so many and possibly offensive :((((( I’ll just go with boomer names like Sally, Linda, Agnes (sorry to my Lola, who’s named Agnes), Karen, Pamela, Susan, Brenda...and maybe more common ones like Angela, Marie, Sam. List up to 10 boy names that you don't really care for. Not a big fan of boy names in general, but ones I don’t particularly like nor dislike are names like John, George, William (lmao just naming all the royals now I see LOL), Benedict, Jeffrey, Donald, Michael, Daniel, Drew, Mark. How old were you when you found out Santa wasn't real? Five. I didn’t find out; I just put the clues together. Do you own a Polaroid camera? Nope. I want one though. ^If so, what color is it? List one past regret. The one dumb thing I did in one of my classes where I forgot to submit something on time, and I had to make do with a late submission, which would already have deductions. Do you own Converse, and if so, what color? i used to; they were red. I stopped wearing them after a bit though so my mom threw them out. We have white Chucks now – my sister brings them with her in her dorm but when she’s home, I’d borrow it sometimes. What color was your senior prom dress? Let’s plz avoid talking about the stuff we purposely want to forget Are you colorblind? No. Name the people you know who are colorblind. Nobody, other than the colorblind folk on Twitter/Tiktok who make wholesome videos separating different colors of Skittles or M&Ms heh. What's one pet peeve of yours? People who DRIVE IN THE MIDDLE OF TWO LANES YO WHAT’S UP WITH Y’ALL Would you ever consider a career in writing? Sure, I’m kinda headed that way anyway. What was the first thing you wanted to be when you grew up? Astronaut. What was your first favorite color? Purple. What is your favorite color now? Pink or black. Do you know a lot of people with the same middle name as you? Yeah, Isabelle is very common. But where I live it’s usually spelled Isabel or Ysabel. Do you like the name Brynn? Not really. It sounds very 2010ish, wherein people would give their kids double-N’s like Kaitlynn, Rylinn, Brooklynn, Ashlynn and I was never a big fan of that trend (except for Finn, Flynn, and Quinn, which I find cute). List five names you hate the spelling of. Literally those 4 names I just mentioned. Oh and in the Philippines, there’s this trend of putting H’s on otherwise normal names, e.g. Jhulia, Mhae, Ghabriella, Mhark...it’s common in the lower classes so I don’t judge, but like it’s just not really not my taste lmao. Do you watch Niki and Gabi on youtube? No. Do you watch Brooklyn and Bailey? No. ....Bethany Mota? No. But I did see her once when YouTube held a FanFest here in Manila and she was part of the lineup. ......Gillian Bower? ....LaurDIY? .....Family Fizz? ....Chronically Jaquie? No to literally all of those. Have you ever purchased a youtuber's merch? No they are always way too expensive lol ^If so, what did you buy?