#my previously private gripes

[fiveeeee]

i think ppl forget sometimes that ppl who genuinely do not feel emotions do not do much of anything, bc u need emotions to feel motivated to do things and make many decisions. not feeling anything are characteristics of depression and schizoid personality disorder and both are characterized by lack of drive to do much of anything. often ppl use emotionless as short for smart and cold but truthfully those ppl are not emotionless, they must be motivated by something whether curiosity or fear or a sense of utilitarian morality.

and i think also ppl forget there is a price for repressing ur emotions. that shit is incredibly taxing on ur body, incredibly stressful. it will straight up make u sick. so all of this must be considered when u have a character that doesnt express themself much.

[walkawaytall]

Now that I finished reading (and reviewing) Collateral, I thought I'd come with some questions, if you haven't answered them before! This was the first fic you posted, but was it the first HxL fic idea you had? How did you come up with this particular take on the Ord Mantell mission? Are there any subtle Easter eggs that you had fun including?

Ooh, thank you for asking! Other than a vague idea I started to write down as a preteen that essentially amounted to “Han proposes to Leia the night after the Battle of Endor and I’m sure I’ll come up with an actual plot later”, this was the first fic idea I had. I had written for another much, much smaller fandom in high school, but hadn’t written or read fanfic in probably 15 years or more. I was in severe professional burnout toward the end of 2022, had just sort of re-embraced Star Wars after avoiding it a lot post-TROS, and decided to start reading for my original OTP. I had also been working on a novel for quite a long time and it was driving me insane, so after blazing my way through a ton of Han/Leia fics on FFN, and later on AO3, I thought I might try writing some fanfic just to have fun with writing again since the novel was making me miserable.

I remember coming up with the idea for the Committee first — the intent with at least part of the fic was to suggest that a lot of the stuff Leia and Han say to piss each other off in ESB are kind of low-blow-type callbacks to private jokes or things they had discussed previously. I also remember reflecting a bit on their relationship and how it’s portrayed at the beginning of ESB — how some people have interpreted that to mean that they spent three dang years griping at one another, but somehow fell in love in between verbal jabs. I think I mentioned this in an early author’s note on Collateral — I had a friendship that was mostly verbal sparring and stupid arguments about things neither of us cared about and it stops being fun after awhile. Eventually, we both just kind of started acting normal around one another. And I just kind of figured that, even if Han and Leia started out picking each other apart, there’s no way they’d go from that to romance in a few words, so I felt like they had to have a friendlier history than what we’re shown. (Plus, I may be reading too much into it, but the way Carrie and Harrison play those parts in that movie, it doesn’t seem like two people who just hate each other to me; it seems like two people who’ve been deeply wounded by one another and aren’t sure what they’re supposed to do. And you have to care about each other somewhat to be wounded by one another, ya know?)

I wanted a fic that was limited in scope for my first fic so I wouldn’t get too carried away with trying to add to a meandering plot or whatever, so I decided on the couple of weeks before ESB starts. I had read a handful of fics about Ord Mantell or referencing Ord Mantell and decided I wanted to do my own take on it. I didn’t know a ton of Star Wars lore, so I remember having to research on Wookieepedia a ton. I do believe my initial intent was for Han and Leia to start their romantic relationship on the trip, but the characters misbehaved while I was writing and Leia kissed Han in her room instead, and I ended up going with that.

Even though I knew most H/L fans would be expecting Ord Mantell to go poorly, I wanted to repeatedly put people at ease, at least in theory. The gang isn’t even worried about Ord Mantell, so why should we be? Everything’s going so well! Han and Leia go on a cute date and everything is fine! Basically, if someone went into the story not knowing about the infamy that Ord Mantell has gained in H/L circles, I wanted them to wonder if anything was actually going to go wrong.

As far as Easter eggs go…I wrote Han with the “Han Solo is mildly Force-sensitive” fan theory in mind. It’s not blatant, but it’s there. Some of the conversations they have reference Leia, Princess of Alderaan and From a Certain Point of View (Leia knowing Huttese comes to mind), and I do assume people catch this, but just in case someone didn’t, the final big conversation that Leia and Han have in her office occurs the afternoon before ESB picks up. The sensors she talks about are the same ones he and Luke are placing at the beginning of the movie.

Oh! Wait! I forgot my favorite one. I never come out and say it, and I don’t know if I even ever implied it, but in my mind, the reason the Falcon is in such rough shape at the beginning of ESB is because, after Leia and Han’s interactions go entirely sour, she stops helping with background repairs, which means Han and Chewie have more to do with just the two of them.

This was incredibly long! Hope that’s okay 😂

[beskad]

Anyone saying to viewers or fans confused or dissatisfied by Bo-Katan's character in S3 "to understand Bo in The Mandalorian you need to go watch Rebels!" is, I think, missing the bigger issue.

Maybe Rebels addresses her arc really well and builds on TCW characterization? That's great! But the writers of Mando are not addressing it. They even appear to be currently, actively ignoring and/or retconning large portions of TCW and Rebels.

For "cinematic universes" (*gag*) like this, it's important to either adequately recap relevant existing canon, or clearly restart from square one. That way, even a casual viewer can understand the characters and and their motivations relative to the show they're watching now.

It is not a reasonable expectation to have every viewer need to have seen 4 seasons of an animated show to adequately understand a character who's been dropped into the 2nd season of a completely separate live action one.

Some decent groundwork was laid in season 2. We can't, nor should we, have all information about a character revealed to us immediately, that would just be a sloppy infodump.

Bo-Katan is the leader of a faction of Mandalorians who want to retake Mandalore. Cool. She's got a grudge against Gideon who, as we found out via Din in season 1, is responsible for the Great Purge of Mandalore, a complete bombing that made an already inhospitable landscape completely unlivable. So on and so forth.

However, at the end of season 3—a season where Bo-Katan is heavily featured—we still have received no clear explanation or recap of her backstory outside of her surrender to Gideon. There have been many opportunities for different characters to know and address that she had a leadership role in a literal terrorist group, Death Watch. It's very relevant, but it's never addressed. Even if we're going with it being previously resolved, it's a very significant and relevant part of her backstory and Bo-Katan doesn't even have private moments of reflection that might explain that to us, the audience.

She preaches about the failures of a divided Mandalore, despite having explicitly and repeatedly contributed to that division in very recent history. There's no self-awareness. from her or the writers.

If Favloni & co. want to retcon previous material—it's annoying, but they're technically allowed to do that.

However, they are not clearly committing to previous canon, nor are they doing the work to clearly establish new canon.

Regardless of the why for any of this, the fence-sitting makes for a mediocre product that tries to do both. The end result is a messy and inconsistent characterization and half-baked backstory that feels incomplete and leaves me asking the show I'm currently watching, "wait, did I miss something?"

Some additional gripes/support for my opinion that the creative team isn't committing to a clear plan for her characterization:

Bo specifically states that the planet and city didn't always look like this. But—

Completely omits that she's a key reason why it was wrecked twice over. Seized once by Maul, which I don't fault them for not acknowledging in live action because casual viewers would be confused (though technically the Solo movie did it so like, pick a lane), then later bombed into oblivion by the Empire.

She mentions her father, and that he's dead. Completely omits that she had a sister who's also dead, and who technically also died defending Mandalore (Satine's cultural genocide against her own people, which also oddly resulted in a population of seemingly all-white pacifists, is a rant for another post). There is room for a compelling and clear in-universe explanation for this! Like maybe she's in denial or tortured about it, and that's why it's not brought up. But we the audience still need to know that. However, it looks like they've just written Satine out. Maybe it would too clearly place Bo-Katan as a Bad Guy which is inconvenient for them because they don't want to take the time to address it, despite this season spending a lot of screentime with her.

They're even ignoring her characterization previously established within this same show with her showing explicit disgust for Din's faction in season 2, then somehow being fine with joining them in season 3.

[foxilayde]

I reslly wanna know WHY is there no oscar isaac fan fiction (not oscar’s characters) like real person oscar, I’d LOVE some of those, as much as I’m infatuated with all his characters, he gets the biggest share of my heart.

I can’t speak for other fic writers in the OI fandom, but the common consensus that i have seen is that its creepy/invasive to write about a real person in that way. Especially for someone like Oscar who is married and has children and is relatively private, it might feel wrong for people to cross that line?

I don’t even know if I so much align myself with that stance.. I mean i definitely TALK about it. You’ve seen my tags. But I don’t write or post stories about it. And that’s because the main gripe I have about RPF (real person fiction) is that it is boring.

I write stories about characters. Real people aren’t characters and writing about them in a narrative sense is about as translatable as making a photocopy of a three dimensional object.

Again, I am speaking for myself here and my own opinions.

The reason I think RPF comes off as flat is because of the source material we’re given; That actual person? That celebrity? You don’t know them in the way you can know a character. Everything presented about Oscar is curated for consumption. Everything. Every interview, fan interaction, insta post, etc. It’s all an act to an unknowable and uncanny degree. With the ultimate objective being, likability.

Yawn.

With the source material of characters on the other hand, you see them in states of vulnerability, you get a glimpse at their inner monologues and objectives. You see what they’re like with other people, with themselves, the role they play in the bigger picture and their relationship to the theme and what that says about our own lives or desires (and yes i do realize you might just be talking about PWPs, but i argue that even PWPs need this in order to be readable and enjoyable)

Actors though?? The famously empty vessels who wander their lives as if in a hall of mirrors? Driven by the need to play someone because they feel an existential longing within themselves to express the inexpressible? male actors in particular? Masters of deception!! Subjected to the scrutinization only previously felt by womankind? The vanity? Meeting the incessant observation of the ever present camera lens with eager presentation? Those aren’t any layers I’m interested in peeling back, ion wanna write that.

Yet.

Maybe—if I get into horror.

PS. If you like RPF, that is fiiiine. idc in the least. Life is short, do what makes you happy. None of this is illegal and we’re all going to die and I’m not the arbiter of anything.

[xivanxiety]

The First & Worst FC (Approx June 2019 - May 2020)

As previously mentioned in my last blog entry, a long time RP friend reached out to me mentioning that he'd started playing XIV and had started an FC. And by started an FC, they'd just started. I was the fifth person to join this FC, so I was officially the first member. This FC eventually grew to consist of people from two different RP communities from two different platforms, so there was a lot of familiar and new faces for everyone. I will need to use names, so I will be naming some of the people in this story after the cast of Mean Girls. Anyway, back to the beginning:

I'm typically pretty shy with groups at first, I like to sit and observe and get a feel for the vibes, I'm also just a quiet person in group settings as other people tend to dominate the conversation. So making friends doesn't come quick for me... typically. However, it didn't take long for Janis to befriend me. I'd say we were pretty attached at the hip. She found a lot of joy in witnessing me go through the MSQ and hearing my reactions to all of the major plot points. She also helped me through a lot of dungeons, trials, etc.

One thing I will note is that Janis did warn me about one of the members in our FC, Regina. She told me that Regina was Aaron's (our FC lead, and my friend from Tumblr) best friend, she had feelings for him, and their characters from their RP community were in a romantic relationship, so she was quite protective of him (I think she meant possessive).

One day, our small group decided to go hang out in Mordona. It was me, Janis, Aaron, Regina, and Glen. We were just shooting the shit and taking screenshots while hanging out in voice. And then as we were sharing the shots we took, Regina blurts out "Katy, why are you staring at Aaron??" I was caught off guard by this, so I simply responded, "I'm... not?" She then hissed at me and said "You're looking at him in all of your screenshots!" I was actually targeting Janis who was standing behind me, so it looked like I was targeting Aaron. I told her "I don't know what to say, I wasn't targeting him." She then let out a deep breath and said "You know what? I just need to chill the fuck out." And left the voice chat. It would appear that either she caught herself in the moment, or someone privately DM'd her telling her to stop which wouldn't have surprised me given future incidents. However, I do believe from that moment on, I was Regina's public enemy #1.

I don't recall a single civil interaction between the two of us and I maintain to this day, I was definitely not an instigator.

Example #1: One day in voice chat, I was helping Janis with pronouncing Korean foods and words. I was talking to Janis but at some point Regina griped, "I know, Katy! I already study Korean so I don't need you teaching me!" Girl, I wasn't even talking to you!

Example 2: She was quick to assume or claim I was being antagonistic in Discord when I was simply engaging in discussion, she'd tell me to calm down and drop it. She was quick to disagree with me in any group chat and treated me like I was being aggressive and antagonistic. ie. I was stating that I wished the Valentione dresses came with petticoat layers in the design because otherwise, it makes no sense why they'd be so poofy. She got on me about complaining over nothing and said they looked fine the way they were. What is wrong with a little critique? I swear, I wasn't allowed to be critical of this game and Yoshi P even in the slightest.

Example 3: One day, another sprout in the FC asked in FC chat what materia they should use for SCH. Regina chimed in telling them not to worry about it, they're not at level cap, much less ready for raids. I asked if she could hypothetically answer the question because I was curious how similar it was to WoW, because a lot of the stats were quite similar and I was a healer main in WoW. Also, Regina was a SCH main at the time. She repeated, "I said not to worry about it!" I then went to Google and looked it up myself and repeated what a few sources online were saying. She responds with "LOL no!" and logged out. The other sprout thanked me for speaking up and answering their question because Regina was starting to scare them.

The final incident (for some time) occurred when I logged into the game one day and dove right into working on the MSQ. I was finally in Shadowbringers and I was eating up the story. Mind you, I was still very much so a sprout. I'd been doing almost nothing but MSQ since I started playing. I do believe this was about... August-ish after SHB came out. We had a new member in the FC, someone who wasn't from either RP communities so we especially wanted to make him feel welcomed. I was running into an issue where I couldn't get past a fight with a few NPCs and was playfully teasing myself in the FC chat. I then quickly realized it was because I hadn't repaired my gear in some time and some of it was broken. Rookie mistake, I know. Regina sees me talking in FC chat and tells me to just go buy some gear off of the market board. I tell her that's too expensive. She then barks back telling me "No it isn't" I then explain I am still leveling so I don't want to waste gil on gear I am going to either replace quickly or can get for free through the MSQ. She then appeared to get fed up and told me to just buy the damn armor. I then went onto explain that it wasn't for a need of armor, I just forgot to repair and now everything is fine. She took it as an opportunity to crack jokes at me and shame me for forgetting to repair my gear. I think she then went and looked me up on the Lodestone or something because then she continued, "WTF are you doing in lvl 82 armor when you're lvl 88?? Go buy higher level gear!" and once again the back and forth about her telling me to go buy armor continued, I told her that even though I'm lvl 88, I am in lvl 82 content (I started SHB at about lvl 86ish, the exact numbers are fuzzy). She continued essentially yelling at me in FC chat but then grew silent and then eventually logged off.

I was then informed by Janis that Regina has been complaining to her and Aaron about me in DMs and they were getting tired of it. Janis told Regina to stop coming to her with her complaints about me as we were friends. And apparently, Aaron had gotten onto her for making a scene in front of our new member and told her she needed to give me a chance or leave. She logged out, and wouldn't log back in for a long time.

The thing is, this character in the FC wasn't Regina's main. She had a main on a completely different DC and tbh, she hardly ever did any content with anyone in the FC except for when Aaron needed help. Otherwise, she'd log in, seemingly check if Aaron was online, maybe say a few things in FC chat, and then log out. She was mostly active in the Discord server.

And for some time, there was peace. We were building structure within the FC. I had become the 'HR' of the FC so to speak and I was also one of the house decorators, having used my own gil to furnish and decorate the place. I felt quite liked by the community. I helped run events and people often confided in me and seemed to feel comfortable coming to me with their issues with the FC. I genuinely liked being there for everyone and playing my part. That was not going to last and it all changed overnight.

I woke up one morning to find that Janis had stepped down as co-FC lead and had promoted Regina to co-lead. And Regina had gone through all of the roles and changed their permissions, and which one received the most lockouts? Mine. I was essentially demoted to just being a member. I couldn't do jack shit, I even lost the ability to drop furnishing items into the FC house. I was not happy and reached out to the admin chat in Discord stating that I couldn't even drop furniture when I was the one who was investing their gil in the furniture. Aaron wasn't happy as he hadn't authorized those changes, to which Regina replied "How was I supposed to know?? I've been gone for months!" Yes! Exactly! You weren't even active with us to begin with. You used your gil you got from your MSQ and level boosts to help pay for the FC, and that was that. She didn't know a damn thing about the community other than when she'd pop into the Discord server and boast about her achievements on her main.

Meanwhile, Janis had started to avoid me. I knew that running the FC was beginning to take a toll on her. She didn't like running an FC, she just wanted to play with her friends. I never got to confirm what her issue was with me, but she never spoke to me again. I do believe Regina had something to do with it because the timing was too coincidental. It became painfully awkward and uncomfortable for me being in the FC. Regina was on a power trip, Janis wasn't talking to me, and Aaron wasn't doing a damn thing to help. Janis and Aaron had been my closest friends. I was quite vocal to Aaron about my dislike for the changes to the FC and I was often the voice for other members who were too afraid to speak out because they too were afraid they'd become Regina's punching bag. We had these farming plots placed in the FC yard, but only Regina was allowed to use them. We were told not to mess with them. One day, one of the members saw that her crystals were ready to harvest, so they gathered them and mailed them to Regina. Her response? She threw a fit in FC chat, told us "Don't touch my stuff!" and removed all members abilities to harvest from the plots.

Meanwhile, Regina continued bullying me, always making passive remarks about me. Anytime I shared a screenshot, she would post 2-3, bumping my screenshot out of view. She always had snide remarks in response to anything I said. I once mentioned that my partner at the time had ordered us Jimmy Johns for dinner, and Regina proceeded to shame me in voice chat claiming I support a man who hunts wildlife in Africa... just because my partner bought me some Jimmy Johns. I had to set myself to DND and turn off notifications on my phone because just any sound related to Discord was giving me anxiety.

Then the Valentiones event came around, the one with the obstacle course you have to run with a partner. A friend of mine, Karen, joked that she and Aaron should run it together. Their characters canonically did not get along, so she thought it would be amusing, besides... it was a joke. Regina did not like this. She pitched yet another fit telling Karen absolutely not, and asked her how would she like it if Regina approached Karen's partner and asked him to run it with her? Regina was constantly forgetting one of the major rules (at that times). Our character's canons did not exist in the FC. There was too much overlappage and we didn't want to deal with petty jealousy. Basically, Aaron's character was actually in a romance with a few characters in the FC. Funny enough, my character was not one of them, and yet for some reason Regina was Hell bent on pushing me out. And this rule apparently did not apply to Regina because she just assumed that Aaron and her character were going to get married and assumed she was his partner in the game. However, over on Tumblr, Aaron's character was starting to eye mine in their story. So it kind of came to no surprise when Aaron decided, due to how Regina was behaving, he was not going to run the event first with her, and instead, asked me to run it with him. I saw no big deal in it, Regina already hated my guts, so I may as well, I otherwise didn't have anyone to run it with. In the moment, I hoped maybe he decided to run it with me because I was not behaving like a brat, but I kind of wonder if he did it to ruffle Regina's panties. Funny enough, Regina didn't have a damn thing to say about it. I assume Aaron had a word with her in private.

But things continued going downhill from there. I had extended an olive branch to Janis asking if we could just talk about why she wasn't talking to me. It was becoming painfully awkward and uncomfortable being in an FC where 2/3 of the people on top did not like me. People I considered friends were beginning to become questionable. Gretchen had once upon a time confided in me because she too felt Regina was on a power trip and she didn't like seeing someone who was so inactive suddenly in control of the FC, meanwhile, she too had been making all efforts to help the FC and felt like she wasn't appreciated. But even Gretchen was starting to hang out with Janis more and speaking to me less. My only two friends left were Karen and Damian, or so, that's how it felt at the time (there were definitely more people on my side in the end). They'd even arrange FC events in secret, definitely without my knowing. I'd be logged in only to check the FC roster to see that most of them were in a group together running maps or FATEs. No mention of it in FC chat or the Discord. But seeing as Janis was often involved in these runs, I was clearly being purposefully excluded, Karen as well. We found comradery in each other as the rejects of the FC. When Karen first joined the FC, Janis asked me to not RP with her as all she liked to do was ERP. She made it a point to say this to everyone she saw getting close to Karen. I took her suggestion with a grain of salt. Yeah, Karen had her flaws, but she was by far the least problematic in the end. This was when I began to wonder "Why the fuck am I still in this FC??"

That was when Karen, Damian, and I discovered it... Balmung. People in the FC had always badmouthed the server, stating it was filled with degenerates. And you definitely don't go to the Quicksands. Well, we wanted to see it for ourselves, so together we went to Balmung. We took a liking to people-watching in the Quicksands. Karen had a thing for a certain race, so she liked to try to chat them up, flatter them, etc etc, never anything serious. One day she spotted a fellow in the distance whose character design she really liked, like... really liked, but she was too shy to say anything. So, I offered to talk to him for her. I sent him a tell letting him know that my friend next to me liked his character design. He took the compliment in stride, but did not appear to take any interest in talking to Karen, but instead chose to talk to me. No, he didn't start hitting on me or anything creepy. In fact, he too was just there to people watch and see who sends him tells.

My time on Balmung encouraged me to start considering diving into RP in XIV. I was beginning to feel more comfortable with just going out on my own and expanding my social circle outside of the FC. Meanwhile, every time Karen and I were spotted on Balmung, people in the FC had things to say, there was a lot of slut shaming going on. I'd swiftly call people out on their hypocrisy because there's no way in Hell some of these people hadn't ERP'd. Aaron especially had art of his character and other people's characters in the act. So what is wrong with Karen, Damian, and I hanging out on Balmung??

Another mutual on Tumblr reached out to me and said I should make a character on their DC and join their FC. They were an RP FC and there was no pressure to make the character my main. So I started a second life on this other DC. It was there that I made one crucial change to my character: Her race. I'd kind of sped my way through character creation the first time around and wasn't 100% happy with her initial design. However, the race and clan I really wanted to be was the exact same as Regina. And I just knew if I changed my character, I'd never hear the end of it. But when I finally made her into what I truly wanted her to be, it was hard to go back to her original design. She was just so cute and my other FC absolutely adored her. They encouraged me to just bite the bullet and fantasia my main, who cares what Regina thought? That FC clearly no longer gave any shits about me. So I did. And sure enough, as soon as I posted a screenshot of my character in the Discord server, Regina had things to say. "Looks like I need to fantasia, one too many (race/clan) in this FC."

The more time went on, the less fucks I gave, and the more I distanced from this FC. I finally decided to have a talk with Aaron. I asked him if there was some issue that people had with me. He tried spinning it onto me and said "I don't know, it sounds more like it's you who has a problem with other people." I asked him to clarify what he meant by that. He then told me I need to be more careful about talking about others behind their backs. To this day I don't know what the fuck he was talking about, because everything I complained about in private to others I told to Aaron himself. I had no qualms about expressing my concerns to him. But I also posed the question, wouldn't that mean there's a great deal of hypocrisy going on then? I never vented to anyone who didn't verbally agree with me. I'm not the type to just dump onto someone without mutual expression of feeling the same way and without valid complaints. I never have problems with people unprovoked. I genuinely never had any issues with Regina in the beginning, it was she who had problems with me and I was beginning to believe that Regina had somehow flipped the narrative. So either way, he was allying with someone who had no issue acting two-faced, and does anyone really want to be friends with someone like that? I later learned that Gretchen had been repeating things I said to Aaron and Regina. I was officially done with this FC. I just needed to wait for a good opportunity and for Balmung to open up.

Meanwhile, I just spent most of my time on Balmung. One fateful day, I was sitting in the Quicksands when some guy started sending me tells. It quickly escalated (on his end) and the dude was asking desperately for my attention and was not taking no for an answer. The guy I'd spoken to for Karen noticed me and asked if I was having any issues. I told him that the other guy wouldn't leave me the fuck alone. He then told me to tell the guy that I needed to go meet with my friends. He then lead me to a different part of Ul'dah where there was a little group of people just sitting and chilling. They were friends and FC mates of his. They weren't RPers, just long time Balmung residents. They were the chillest group of people I'd ever met, and still to this day, remain some of the chillest people I know. They took me in and I began hanging out with them every day. My birthday came around and they showered me with gifts and celebrated with me.

I finally made the move not long after my birthday. Over night I abandoned my house, exited my FC room, said goodbye to anyone who happened to be online at the time, and transferred to Balmung.

Balmung was such a silly place, I don't think it's as bad as a lot of people make it out to be. Upon logging in after transferring, a little lalafell walked up and gave me a hug. I then stepped away from the aetheryte and stumbled upon two people who were in character. One of the characters appeared to be mute and was acting bashful toward my character, like he thought she was really cute, meanwhile his friend was expressing disapproval in me, shaking her head no at him and gesturing that he stop before approaching me and pointing as if telling me to walk away. They didn't really speak to me after that so I assume they were just goofing around. But it was quite the welcome to Balmung.

Aarson of course DM'd me the next day expressing his disappointment in me. He said he wasn't bothered by the fact that I left the FC, but why did I have to go to Balmung?

Years of friendship, dedicated writing partners, invested so much time and energy and gil into your FC, and that's what you have a problem with?

Thank you, next.

The Aftermath

So, I had another character in the FC who I forgot I'd left in there. And I logged in on that alt the day after I left to remove her and also say my goodbyes to people who I didn't get to say goodbye to. Regina was not aware of this. While I was logged into said character, Regina logged in and said in FC chat "Finally, I can breathe in my own FC!" Bitch please.

I'd learn over time that I had more allies in the FC than I initially thought. A number of people reached out and stayed in touch with me, including Gretchen who I ended up softblocking. Another member of the FC tipped me off and told me she was likely just in contact with me to give the FC leaders tea on what I was up to, probably hoping I'd be miserable on my own. I wasn't.

Sometime later, Damian and Karen ended up getting pulled into a voice call and was yelled at by Regina for continuing to associate with me, treating them as though they were guilty of some crime for fraternizing with the enemy. Aaron also sided with Regina on this matter. They then left the FC and went off and started their own.

I was also told that Regina was never physically active within the FC ever again, only in Discord. And Janis eventually took over her position as co-lead again.

Basically, anyone who was a friend of mine in the FC ended up leaving. Besides Gretchen. I named her Gretchen because of the pick-me nature of both individuals. Even Janis left the FC recently. Honestly, I feel as though Aaron was far more antagonist than most would've given him credit for. I think he found joy in how much Regina adored him and how possessive she was and how quick she was to bow down to him. He liked stirring the pot. The RP community that they all came from (I was in the minority from Tumblr) was almost cult like in my eyes. They all placed him on a pedestal and a lot of people develop crushes on him. I'm told he ended up getting together with someone else and married them in-game and of course everyone attended but Regina.

[foreversecrets]

What Burrows in the Boroughs: 2

What Burrows in the Boroughs Masterlist

Rating: Mature

Summary: Riley was just a 25 year old working full time as a nanny to pay her expense of being a medical student when she meets Sarah Rogers and her very attractive father, her life takes some interesting turns after that.

Pairing: Mob Steve Rogers x OC

Status: Ongoing

Tony Stark wasn’t the kind of enemy you wanted if you expected to survive in New York. Only one man had lived to both be Tony’s enemy and his friend, but maybe that’s because the Captain of the Howling Commandos had been Tony’s friend long before they’d even been enemies. Rumor was the Iron Legion declared war on the Howling Commandos the day Sarge-the Captain's right hand man had inadvertently killed Tony Starks’ parents. That much seemed true enough based on the timing of events: the car accident, the funeral, news reports indicating it wasn’t an accident, and the declaration of war that followed. What no one seemed to have a theory about, is how the Howling Commandos managed not only to make peace but resume their alliance with the Iron Legion six months later. 

But that’s history, the latest gossip in the Boroughs is consumed by debate on who will fill the power vacuum of Queens, which man or woman is arrogant enough to take up the mantle? Apparently, the Borough that had been previously handled with a shroud of secrecy had been passed on to a self-proclaimed Spiderman who decided he wasn’t fit to run a crew. Queens was desirable for the access to several ports and two airports, the families that ran the other Boroughs had all agreed not to divide up the territory but instead elevated another family for the responsibility. Queens was also tasked with keeping Hydra at bay, the power hungry crew was confined to the Bronx and had been for the last twenty or so years since the last major turf war. Of course the other families would assist when needed but they mostly stuck to their own territories; The Iron Legion in Manhattan, Staten Island for the Asguardians, and the Howling Commandos in Brooklyn. But now with Queens unclaimed, Hydra had decided to expand, they were tired of playing the punished child told to sit in the corner and reep no benefits of the alliance of the Boroughs. 

Two blue eyed men, pressed in expensive suits stepped out of a black sudan. The blonde in a deep navy, the brunette in a charcoal black suit stepped into the Whip & Fiddle bar, it had been their first purchase together once they’d scraped up enough money. It was an older establishment now, but they’d renovated it a few years back, and hired people to handle the bar so they could use the upstairs ‘VIP section’ as their personal office. It was a discreet way of handling their business endeavors away from prying eyes. Tonight, they aren’t wearing smiles when they nod to Ned at the bar-the one who runs the legit business of Whip & Fiddle. The nod is enough for Ned to know upstairs is off limits for the evening and to send a mixologist upstairs to handle their beverages. 

It's not until they are seated, looking over the railing that people watch the entire rest of the bar. Part of the renovations they had insisted on with the contractors, they wanted to be able to see everything happening on the first floor. They’d had to strong arm the man, but he did a good job, though the railings made entirely of glass was a minor gripe they let go.

“You gonna tell me about what happened this weekend? You never blow me off and I know for a fact Sarah had a sitter yesterday.” the brunette eyes the blonde, searching for answers he wasn’t convinced he’d get. Both ignored the mixologist as she moved to the private bar to prepare their drinks, it was always the same: a bourbon for the blonde and a whiskey for the brunette. Their orders very rarely varied, and when they did the men informed her before she stepped behind the bar. 

“I spent Saturday with my daughter and I had a date yesterday.” His tone is trying to play it down but the brunette knows him well, he can see the bliss in his friends eyes. 

“You don’t date, you fuck and forget.”

“Buck!” the blond snaps. “You make it sound so crass.” 

“Because it is, you never used to be this way Steve. Peggy-”

“Don’t,” Steve warns in a deadly calm tone as their drinks are placed on the table in front of them. “Peggy is out of my life, I am working on fixing the damage she’s done.”

“What about Sarah? You’re not even a little bit worried she’ll try to take her just to spite you?”

“She couldn’t if she tried. Peggy is not Sarah’s mother.” Steve had insisted on that fact since Sarah was born but Bucky wasn’t convinced a court would see it that way. He lets the matter drop as Tony makes his way to the stairs to join them. Best not to piss the aggravating topic before they have to handle whatever antsy situation Tony needs their help right. 

“I see you started the party without me,” Tony nods to the glasses in their hands. “Scotch on the rocks.” he nodded to the chick behind the counter as he sat in one of the empty seats. He tosses a small device on the table and a projection displays a video. “Surveillance in Queens picked this up. That Parker kid found a couple of my guys unconscious and three dead, brought this to me.”

The three watch as a group of men, about five with no discernable marking, make their way to the shipping crates at one of the many docks in Queens. Heading for the creat marked with the Stark Industries logo.

“I recognize him,” Bucky points to the man whose face has become visible as he barks out orders to the other men. “Brock Rumlow, with Hydra.”

The men move quickly, knocking someone unconscious but once they lose the advantage of stealth they pull out their guns, clearly whatever they are doing has a time limit. Starks men down for the count the Hydra men break the lock on the container, slipping inside. They are only in there for a few moments before they are exiting with a single crate. 

“That shipment contained my latest project, untested. They killed four of mine to get that,” Tony taps at his phone and the display changes showing endless pages of scribblings. “A clean power source I’ve been perfecting, works wonders to power my tower but use it on weapons? That could wipe Manhattan off the map.”

“They are making their move into Queens,” Steve acknowledged. “And I’m assuming negotiations with the new bloods you found to handle Queens aren’t progressing? When is Rhoedy returning?”

“Quill has some big ideas but his crew is kinda unpredictable, I don’t suspect them to be a problem but I also don’t think they are fit for Queens. I have a meeting with the Wakandans next week.”

“T’Chall is a friend of ours,” Steve looked over to Bucky, not intending to look at his metal arm but doing so anyway. “Let Bucky handle that, we need to devise a plan of actions against Hydra.”

“We’ve let them run the Bronx for years, even after the shit the last generation had to deal with, I think it's time we remove them from the equation entirely. We pull in the Guardians, offer them the Bronx for their assistance, and offer up Queens to the Wakandans-much better choice for the responsibility of Queens.” Tony was rambling out loud as he thought of all the moving pieces. 

“Can you really afford to go to war right now?” Bucky’s tone was tight, but the two men were used to each other's mannerisms at this point. Bucky’s hard comment was born of concern for Stark, his wife, and his six month old at home.

“Not now, we gather our resources-wait until they’ve moved past the Bronx. At best the expansion should take three years at worst six months. We need to strike once they are confident they’ve succeeded, put up enough of a struggle to convince them they’ve won but not enough to exhaust our resources.” Strategist Steve was in full force considering the factors and all the moving parts. Tony and Bucky could practically see the wheels turning in Steve’s head.

“I got Quill and Thor, you handle the Panter and loop in Fury. I know they retired Shield but most of those guys are in law enforcement now working with us. And he technically owes us, well owe you.” Tony pointed at Steve as he gathered his things to head off. 

A phone buzzed, normally manners and business kept Steve from checking his phone but when it buzzed again, concern for his daughter won out over politeness. The message wasn’t from Sam who was watching Sarah tonight, it was from Riley.

Riley: I’m really sorry but the Reynols need me to stay in Friday morning, Mrs. Reynolds has a court thing and Mr. Reynolds has a doctor's appointment. 

Steve scowled at his phone, waving Tony’s goodbye off. Their date yesterday has gone better than he’d hoped, Riley had even been the one to initiate the several goodnight kisses they’d shared. When he texted her he’d made it home, they had set up a breakfast date before her one class she had on Friday for noon. He was trying to think of a way to respond without seeming like an asshole or showing how disappointed he truly was. 

But I have a 2 hour window on Wednesday for lunch? And I promise to make it up to you-or if you have an idea of how I can do that?

Bucky returns from seeing Tony out as Steve is contemplating the ways he wants to respond-so many good things he could ask for but it's too soon. He uses Bucky’s return as a distraction to ease the discomfort in his slacks. They spend the next thirty or so minutes making plans and looking for flights. It's decided Bucky will fly out and meet with T’Challa tomorrow while Steve meets with Fury on Wednesday. Bucky doesn’t question him, but he knows something is a little fishy with his timing. Bucky doesn’t need to know Riley’s university is nearby Fury’s office, doesn’t need to know Steve is going to treat her to lunch and then handle his responsibilities. 

She’s not a secret but right now Steve is enjoying the separation between his two lives, likes having something that’s just his that no one knows about. His world is full of violence and drugs, murder and sex, blood and destruction so to be face with a women like her? Innocent and delicate, fragile and strong, full of optimism-she’s everything right in this world and he wants her to be everything right in his and Sarah’s lives. The longer he can keep her from his darkness and bask in her purity, the deeper their connection will be forged making it harder for her to leave him. Even the terrifying Captain had a soft spot for a kind soul. They’ve only been on one date and he’s already picturing their wedding, painting the nursery of their kids. It’s fast but so is everything else in his life-such a contradiction to her slow paced college life she’s been living thus far. His life moves fast because tomorrow isn’t promised, in fact it's a gift for someone in his profession. Their relationship is going to require him to be patient and nurturing and supportive, it's going to take more effort than he’s ever given a woman before.

Is she worth it?

Unlocking his phone again to find a picture message from Riley. It's a picture Rebecca had taken on Riley’s phone when the girls weren’t paying attention last Saturday during their lunch break. Riley is hugging Sarah to her stomach, a wide smile on her face with a mouth full of pizza, the position of Sarah’s head on Riley’s stomach draws attention to her breasts in that black swimsuit he’d admired all day. Sarah is clinging tightly to Riley looking up into her face with utter admiration, he thinks that’s when Sarah had asked if they could get back in the pool. His daughter is already in love with her, and her opinion is the only other one besides his own that matters to him.

She is worth everything I am.

[twistedintern]

An analysis of Trein’s valentine messages.

Text beneath the cut contains content from paid merchandise that I own, coupled with a hefty helping of personal musings and theoretical rambling.

If neither of these pique your interest, dear visitors, do feel free to scroll right on past.

(Please do not leave comments or privately message me requesting links to or images of others’ thank you letters (especially the students’) from this year or last. I previously shared Trein’s from last year not too long ago and am expecting the staff’s notes from this year within a week or two--make no mistake: I have every intention of sharing those when they arrive.)

[Mozus Trein’s 2021 Message]

Dear student, You have sent a present...to me? I am not especially fond of people stepping beyond their station. Students should focus their attention on other students, and behave accordingly. ...Having said that, I do appreciate the gesture. If there’s anything you don’t understand from my lectures, you are welcome to ask me. Mozus Trein

Observations/Notes

Deliberate thought and careful wording

Clear professionalism and adherence to hierarchy and rules

An expression of gratitude

Willingness to repay the gesture in kind

[Mozus Trein’s 2022 Message]

Dear juvenile--- First, I should thank you for the gift. However, if you want to ensure your teachers view you charitably and grade your tests favorably, I’d advise being a good student and showing up to class punctually rather than giving gifts. But perhaps a thank-you note isn’t the place for a lecture. The sentiment is appreciated, at the very least. Mozus Trein

Observations/Notes

Use of the term “juvenile”

Reluctant acknowledgement of sentiments

Obligation to see that proper etiquette is followed

Gentle reprimanding in the form of advice

Notable changes in language and tone between messages The very first--and frankly, most startling--difference between these two messages is Professor Trein’s method of addressing the reader (presumably “Yuu” or the prefect). His informal “student” has been abandoned in favor of a curious and irregular (and almost--almost!--dare I say it... demeaning) alternative: juvenile.

His surprise, while previously clear, is not quite so palpable in this year’s message. There is an absence of ellipses which would indicate that something has occurred that might contradict expectations.

Where he once simply gave an opinion on gift-giving and stations and propriety, he eagerly divulges with criticism and instruction.

What he is not saying, and why it is just as, if not more, important than what is written (or, explanations and conclusions) I will start by conceding that this year’s message came as an utter shock to me. His word choice and pacing lends itself to a portrait of one who has grown frustrated--perhaps downright irate--with recent developments and behavior.

At first.

Upon further review of the messages (after some rather... less-than-model, incredibly vocal griping on my part. I was hung up on the word “juvenile” until a friend suggested that perhaps the writers took the wakamono from one of his voice lines literally), a few outstanding details came to my attention. Namely, how the drastic shift in what he deems necessary to speak at length about when faced with responding to a particular gesture (the act of giving gifts, in this case).

There is, without a doubt, present in the second message some of the same reluctance and hesitation that colored his first. What has changed is his willingness to accept that there is an individual who would tread or even cross boundaries in order to show him admiration and good will.

How do we know his reaction is not out of anger? Professor Trein does, in both instances, take pains to communicate that the gifts are not unwelcome, and moreover does well to convey his (somewhat reluctant) appreciation. He’s less displeased with the person than what the act could ultimately suggest (i.e., bribery/exploitation, unsavory intentions, inappropriate affections).

Taken a step further, measured change from reserved and indirect but amenable to insistent and harangued in people is more often than not a means of defending one’s psyche. I personally feel it belies a growing (non-romantic) attachment to or responsibility for the reader (the prefect). This itself may be due to both his paternal instincts as well as a subconscious desire to maintain emotional distance since the death of his late wife in an effort to avoid pain associated with loss of those dear. He therefore chooses to rebuke to remind both himself and the recipient that theirs is a relationship best kept formal.

[logicalbookthief]

Things Left Unsaid -- An Analysis of Rei & Touya

Apparently Rei has been getting a lot of flack lately, all of it undeserved, and since I had a post analyzing her relationship with Touya in the works already, I figured no time like the present.

Disclaimer #1: There are a lot of issues with the writing for Rei’s character that have nothing to do with her and everything to do with how the storyline is using her, which I will address and examine.

Disclaimer #2: I’m someone who, while always curious as to what kind of relationship Rei had with her oldest son before he died, never thought it would be revealed that Touya was close to his mom. I don’t think you get the Dabi we see in Chapters 290-295 without him being so warped by his relationship with his father yet so dependent on his attention that he was willing to kill his brother and himself simply for his father’s acknowledgement.

But that’s what I find so interesting about Rei and Touya -- it’s a relationship that mainly consists of regrets and things left unsaid. There isn’t the anger or resentment Dabi feels for Endeavor, because that intense level of emotion sprung from the loss of the father who used to be his whole world. His feelings toward his mother seem more amicable, but also more distant.

And while she could’ve done some things differently in regards to her oldest, I want to make it clear that the distance between them was very much by design.

After all, Touya was the end goal of their marriage. It was never any secret as to why Enji wanted to marry her and to some extent Rei must’ve realized that this child was not meant to be hers: the child was the transaction, the thing she was needed to create, to give to her husband. Of course she loved Touya and was likely his primary caregiver for most of his life, but there was no doubt that once his quirk manifested and he could begin his hero training, his life would be dominated by his father. Which is what happened.

Here, I would like to point out something I noticed in the flashback chapters. We never see any panels of Enji alone with any of his children during their infancy -- even with Shouto, the perfect child he longed for, we see Rei holding Shouto, sitting by him as he sleeps. Enji is there tangentially. Once Shouto begins his training, that is when we see him with his father.

So to see Enji with Touya when he was a baby, prior to his quirk manifesting, strikes me as a big deal. But it makes sense if you remember that he’d placed all his hopes, dreams and expectations on his firstborn. Initially, it doesn’t look like he even considered the possibility that Touya wouldn’t be his successor or that his little eugenics experiment would fail; this was his first, most optimistic attempt at a masterpiece. So I don’t believe it’s far-fetched to see him spend more time with Touya right off the bat (it’s what will make the eventual abandonment all the more crushing).

However, Rei isn’t seen at all in the snippet of Touya’s infancy, despite us knowing she was relegated to the caregiver role. Rei is literally out of the picture. Compare this to how she features prominently in Shouto’s infancy or how we see her holding a baby Natsuo. You could argue that, hey, we don’t see her holding a baby Fuyumi either, but there’s other scenes where Fuyumi’s attached to her mother’s hip or crying over her being hurt. Things that suggest a closeness, when the only scene we get of just her and Touya is one where they’re at odds. 

As we move further into Touya’s childhood, though, Rei becomes the only voice we hear advocate for him against his father. I’m referencing two specific instances:

When Enji coerces her into having more children to replace Touya now that his father has deemed him a failure, something she knows will hurt their son deeply.

And after Touya lashes out at Shouto, which Rei doesn’t blame on Touya, but rather on his father. She delivers such a satisfying condemnation of his actions, probably the most cutting one Endvr’s received to date, and it so accurately sums up one of his major character flaws.

How can you call yourself a hero when you can’t even face your own son?

The tragedy of it all is that Rei never said any of this in front of Touya -- it was always said in private, just to her husband. That alone took courage, yes, but it would’ve meant everything to Touya to hear her condemn his father aloud. Instead when she does speak to him, she says this:

It’s why I can’t wrap my head around that scene in Ch 302, where after Enji admits he didn’t know what to say to Touya, Rei replies, “Neither did I.” 

When we’re shown in flashbacks during that same chapter that she did understand her son. “He just wants to be acknowledged by you” is quite the indication that she, at the very least, understood the cause of Touya’s turmoil even if she couldn’t fully relate to it herself. So why can’t she say any of this to him?

The answer is in the way she addresses Touya, as it is nearly identical to how Nao addresses Tenko in this scene:

Both Touya and Tenko grew up in similar households: the father had all the power, physical and financial, so the mothers were left to try and comfort their children in a way that didn’t go against their husbands’ desires -- and so, to use Tenko’s own words, they would “reject them with kindness.”

So it’s no wonder that Touya lashes out at his mother after she suggests he pursue other things. He isn’t five like Tenko was, he’s thirteen and has a much clearer understanding of why she says this and why it’s a bit hypocritical, since he’s aware of her situation, too.

Just as she was bound by her family, who wanted her to marry Endvr for the money and status, he’s bound by the expectations of his family. I’m not sure if I’ve seen anyone else touch on this detail, but when Touya states that he knows his grandparents sold his mom into marriage so his dad could have a child, we could infer that Touya knows enough to realize that his mother might not have necessarily wanted him.

Not him specifically, but any child — the story has neglected to flesh her out beyond her marriage and motherhood, so we have no idea if Rei wanted to become a mother prior to this arrangement, despite how much she loves her kids now — although it is possible that he might’ve internalized it this way.

So you have Touya, who at least knows with certainty that his father wanted him to exist, yet he comes to understand that his father only wants him if he can meet a specific set of expectations, and if he cannot, he’ll be discarded. If he can’t surpass All Might, he can’t fulfill his reason for existing and his father will have to replace him. So to have his mother urge him to follow a path other than becoming a hero would mean, to Touya, accepting that he is the mistake he fears he is. Of course he isn’t going to respond well to that.

I don’t like when people try to compare Touya’s reaction in this moment to Shouto’s when Rei tells him he isn’t bound by his father’s blood, using that to paint Shouto as the “good” child and Touya as the “bad” one. They didn’t react differently because of any innate sense of goodness or lack thereof -- they reacted differently because the situations are different.

Telling Shouto that he didn’t have to be like his father comforted Shouto, who only knew his father as the bully who hurt his mom. He associated his father, and his father’s fire, with all of that fear and pain -- and thus, he associated the part of himself that took after his father with those feelings. She wasn’t denying his dream of becoming a hero, only assuring him that when he became a hero it could be whatever kind of hero he chose to be, that he wasn’t doomed to be like his father.

Whereas what she tells Touya sounds a lot like what his father told him, which was to give up on being a hero and pursue other aspirations.

Encouraging Shouto to become his own version of a hero still falls in line with what Endvr ultimately wants, which is for Shouto to be a hero capable of surpassing All Might. Whereas this is what happens when Touya continues to train to do that against his father’s wishes:

This is where the framing begins to bother me and where Rei’s characterization becomes inconsistent. 

So in this scene from Ch 302, we see Enji abusing his wife for “letting” Touya continue to train, punishing her for her “failure” to stop him. Obviously, none of that is Rei’s fault. If anything, Enji would be more responsible for preventing Touya from hurting himself since he’s the reason his son is hurting himself in the first place.

Moreover, the fact that he hits Rei over this sort of muddies the water of an previously-established narrative. Since the Sports Festival arc, we’ve known that Endvr abused his wife because she tried to interfere with Shouto’s training. It got to the point where she was terrified of her husband and it drove her to a breakdown. Why introduce this new aspect to the abuse, when it was already established that a) he was physically abusive and b) his motivations for abusing her were explicit to the audience? 

I’m not saying it doesn’t make sense that a man who hits his wife for one reason could find another reason to do it and justify his actions to himself. And while the scene does portray Endvr in a bad light to show how wrong his actions are, literally draping his figure in shadow, why does it even dare to suggest the idea that Rei was remiss in her duties as a mother? Again, the scene isn’t even necessary, since the narrative has long-since showed the audience that Enji abused his wife. 

By itself, the scene would read as further exploration of how Rei was victimized and how it affected her children. When you look at it with the chapter as a whole, though? Remember, this is the chapter where Rei claims that all of the family shares the blame in what happened to Touya, displacing some of the blame that rightfully rests on Enji. 

But my major gripe with this scene is how it reframes the sole moment we get of Rei and Touya alone. Because we know that Rei understands Touya, based on her confrontations with her husband in Ch 301 & 302. Rather than encourage him to be what he wants or acknowledge that his father is in the wrong, however, her advice falls in line with what Enji wants -- to stop Touya from training. And this comes after a scene where we see Enji beat his wife when she doesn’t stop Touya from training.

With all that in mind, it could potentially be read as Rei trying stop Touya for the sake of protecting herself and the family -- I don’t think it’s coincidence that in the scene where he hits her that we see Shouto, Fuyumi & Natsuo all as witnesses who are very distressed by what’s happening to their mother -- at the cost of Touya’s need to be validated. And if executed well or at least better than it has here, that wouldn’t be a bad choice of narrative per se, and it would fit into the pattern where the households the villains were raised in -- notably Shigaraki, Dabi & Toga -- mimic the society they live in, just on a smaller scale.

Except. Does that sort of narrative make sense based on what we already know about Rei?

Certainly, it is natural to want to protect yourself under physical and/or emotional duress by appeasing your abuser. This sort of complicated dynamic appears in the Shimura family, too. Just like in the house that Kotaro built, the Todoroki family revolves around the desires of the abuser and is dictated by his whims.

I would argue that Nao does give us a well-written example of this narrative. From the beginning, it’s established that she loves Tenko dearly. But in the house her husband built, there’s no room to love her son as he deserves. She prioritizes the feelings of Tenko’s father for the sake of maintaining peace in the household and this is established quickly and plainly.

Early on in the flashback, Kotaro exerts his control over the house, while Nao + her parents look uncomfortable. Despite this, we watch as they comply with his rules, all at the expense of Tenko’s feelings. When she stands up to Kotaro at last, it is not where Tenko can see and already too late. It’s a painful story, full of regret and sadness, but it is consistent from start to end. Nobody feels out-of-character or there to prop up anybody else.

So why doesn’t Rei feel as consistent in this narrative?

Because it doesn’t fit with everything we knew about Rei prior to her abuser’s subpar redemption arc.

The way she interacts with Touya would make sense, if this was how she was portrayed from the start. However, her behavior in Shouto’s flashback -- where she was first introduced -- contrasts what we get in the later Todoroki flashbacks.

Let’s compare this to the scenes in Ch 302. Here, Rei interferes on Shouto’s behalf. She advocates for her son in front of Shouto where he can hear. She stands up to his bully/villain and tries to protect him, while also validating his feelings in the process. Directly after this, Enji hits her, not for failing to comply with his demands, but for defying him. 

It is difficult to reconcile this Rei with the Rei we get in Ch 302. And if you try to find an in-story reason for the inconsistency, the options either do a disservice to Rei or make things even more painful for Touya. But I’m sure most of you have realized that I’m going to suggest a reason for this inconsistency that goes beyond the canon.

Because when Rei was first introduced in the story, Endvr was unequivocally the villain in the Todoroki family, not some misguided patriarch trying to atone for his “past” mistakes. Years later and in the midst of his redemption arc, the narrative seems to be intent on making this man more palatable to readers, and it’s used Rei at every opportunity to prop up his efforts to be better. Often, though, it takes some of the heat off Enji by displacing it onto other family members, most significantly Rei & Touya.

Like, you can literally see the difference in the frame from early in the manga to now:

Ch 39: Endvr trains his five-year-old to the point where he’s throwing up due overextension and being punched by a fully grown adult who is also his father. Rei tries to protect her son and gets slapped by Endvr. All the blames rests squarely on Endvr, who is clearly the aggressor and painted as the villain here.

Ch 302: Endvr hits Rei for not preventing Touya from sneaking out to train, knocking her to the ground. Again, Endvr is clearly the aggressor, but oh this time it’s not driven solely by his selfish desires it’s also cocnern for his son; Rei is the victim but oh she also should have been watching him more closely, and oh well why was Touya going out in the first place, when everyone has told him to stop and he knows his mom will get punished for it?

Honestly, I can understand where some people have mixed feelings over Rei’s character, particularly since the writing has done her such a disservice recently. With that being said, however, it takes a minimum amount of critical thinking to recognize that while you can criticize some choices she made, you cannot hold her to the same standard of accountability as Enji, it’s absurd. The power imbalance was obviously tipped in Endvr’s favor, always.

It is a shame, too, that we can’t have more discussions that don’t turn into some readers (a lot of whom are attempting to make Endvr sound less horrible than he actually was) trying to demonize her. It’s doubly a shame the story itself doesn’t bother to flesh her out as a person, instead using her as a prop, because the complex relationships she has with Touya -- with all her children, really -- has plenty of room for exploration. 

Like, there was no reason to add this new dimension of resentment due to her spouting Enji’s words back at Touya, when there was already a source of tension supported by previous canon -- the neglect the Todoroki kids suffered because Rei couldn’t be the parent they needed, due to her declining mental health and eventual breakdown.

Or, if you want to complicate their dynamic further, why not add something that focuses on Rei and has nothing to do with Enji? We learn in the flashbacks that Rei agreed to the marriage more-or-less to please her family, lamenting that she “intended to smile through it to the end,” essentially admitting that her hope was she could grin and bear it. It is telling that she had this attitude before entering her marriage; evidently, she was raised with the idea that she should be acquiescent to her parents’ whims and not express herself if she was only going to be contrary. Maybe she didn’t know how to deal with Touya’s very expressive, very emotional outbursts as a result. And her inability to respond would be the exact opposite of what Touya was seeking.

Not to mention that Touya died, and for the last decade, Rei was under the impression she had lost her son forever. He died while she was hospitalized, torn up with guilt over what she did to Shouto, only to find out that her other son died in a frankly horrific manner, and she could do nothing. By the time she would’ve found out, it was too late to even try to do anything. I can’t imagine what she must’ve felt in terms of regret alone, plus her grief. And I’m still mad we were robbed of her reaction to Touya being alive, because now suddenly there is a chance to do something, to change what was once written in stone.

Or what about Touya’s feelings for his mother, that have yet to be given much depth? As the oldest and most aware of his existence, it seems like he was the first to truly understand his mother’s situation and I can’t help but wonder: If Touya knew he vessel for his father’s ambition, and his mother was sold into role of creating/caring for him, did he question her love for him? Once he found out one parent’s love was conditional, it wouldn’t be a leap for him to consider it for the other. And yet if that’s true, Dabi doesn’t appear to hold any ill-will towards her for that. He was angry at her hypocrisy, because he knows she should understand, but her words to him didn’t reflect that.

All of that is fascinating and so much better than what we got in canon, so far at least. I’m hoping for them interact in the present at least once before the end of the series, and I think they will, but as to how satisfying a reconciliation it’ll be, I guess we’ll have to wait to see how the Todoroki plotline progresses from here on out.

[orionsangel86]

I was the one with the ask. I want to apologize. I didn't wanna come across as rude. I love your blog. It was an honest question, since I haven't seen any spoilers which indicate that Cas and Dean are gonna make up. Also I have only seen spoilers where they said that the conflicts goes on after ep 9. Last thing was that Jensen didn't mention Cas as a reason for Dean being sad. But I saw ppl saying that Dean is gonna be shedding tears over Cas. I'd like to know if there's any reference material.

Okay so the first thing I need to stress here as in all cases is this: PR is not showrunning. I know I know, we say it all the time. You can’t really rely on small soundbites from the actors taken from interviews and put into clickbait articles usually to satisfy a specific writers agenda depending on the article they are writing. 

The second thing to remember: People are going to hype up and sensationalise things on social media to gain attention, likes, notes, etc. You cannot rely on this information either.

What we actually know:

Misha said this: “Cas will return to the bunker and the boys. He’ll be sort of driven back into collaborating with them because we’re still confronting the big bad, which is God. But that tension between Cas and Dean will play out for some time, and we won’t really have a resolution to that. I think the audience, and frankly Cas, will finally understand what it is that’s upsetting Dean so much in episode 9. So we’re a ways off from that arc feeling like it’s resolved.”

This quote is from this article.

Then at DCCon the other weekend, the last question asked by Mel aka @/mishasdiary on Twitter, was basically to know if Dean and Cas patch things up and Jensen answered this:

“I will say this, there is an answer to your question in the show. It will be in episode 9 which we just finished. Let’s just say that Dean has a moment by himself, where he prays to Cas. That is a bit of a confession on why he feels the way he feels and why he treated Cas the way he treated him.”

You can see the answer here at about 58 minutes in (last question).

In your ask you sent me yesterday, you also referred to another article (link here) written with soundbites from Jensen. I believe you were referring to this:

"I think the state of his brother always worries Dean. That's who he fights for," Jensen Ackles told TV Guide. "When that support, that base strength in his life starts to waver and [he] starts to second guess himself, that will certainly affect Dean in a way of, 'I can't let him go down this road' or 'I need to figure out a way to help him out.' So it'll be a struggle, not against each other, but for each other. Sam is struggling to find a purpose and Dean is struggling to help Sam find purpose."

But this is standard talk from Jensen and it is also correct so I don’t see why anyone would read this and feel threatened about Dean’s relationship with Cas? Come on now, we aren’t like Bronly’s threatened by Cas’s mere presence. This is very true what Jensen is saying because the brothers are toxically codependent. But there is a true bond between them which has been poisoned over time. Yes Dean will be worried about Sam because Dean is always worried about Sam, but Sam is not part of the Dean and Cas break up narrative.

Jensen also had this to say which I thought was interesting:

[about Sam hypothetically dying] "That would have to be a bridge crossed when he came to it," Ackles said. "Right now, and for a long time, Sam's been the reason that Dean keeps fighting. If you take that away from him, then what does he have? Is there a will to keep going? I don't know how that would shape up from Dean's perspective. Maybe he finds something to fight for or maybe he finds somebody to fight with. Maybe he calls it quits."

So this is Jensen contemplating what life would be like for Dean without Sam, and he’s hardly saying “well if Sam died Dean would also want to die” because Jensen most likely knows that isn’t the case anymore. Bobo has been picking apart that particular arc ever since he wrote Red Meat. 

So anyway, brushing off Jensen’s interview aside as nothing even remotely alarming or concerning for DeanCas fans (because we do NOT see Sam as a threat to our ship), lets talk about the prayer. We got Jensen’s spoiler first, and given this was fresh in Jensen’s mind, only shortly after he filmed it, I reckon we can safely assume that what he has told us is at least somewhat accurate (though we cannot of course account for how this may be cut in the editing room).

Episode 9 is Bobo’s episode. Bobo is basically holding the mantle for the DeanCas emotional arc this season (and last season) so I fully expect this to be the next big turning point in Dean and Cas’s relationship. Jensen has confirmed that when Dean is alone, he prays to Cas.

This is already setting a super intimate scene. Dean rarely prays as it is. We haven’t seen him pray to Cas since season 9. The fact that he is alone and not with Sam also confirms the level of intimacy. We can assume that Dean sought privacy for this prayer.

Now, Jensen goes on to say that Dean will explain how he feels and why he treated Cas how he did. This is already sounding like a proper explanation and potentially an apology. We will learn the mystery of why Dean (in Misha’s words) has been acting like such a prick. I never had any doubt that they would eventually explain it. I trust Bobo has planned this all out and knows what he is doing. He likes exploring Dean’s emotional responses - anger comes from fear and worry. Dean is terrified. That is usually why he acts out. Bobo has previously confirmed this and it was even stated in the show itself in Bobo’s episode 14x09 via Kaia. I think that Dean’s treatment of Cas is based on fear. This is why we are so excited (when I say “we” here, I mean me and the general group of wonderful people I scream with daily about this dumb show aka a bunch of meta writers or at least meta literate people). So Jensen has confirmed that we will get a proper explanation of WHY he treated Cas and also HIS FEELINGS on the matter. 

The MOST interesting part of Jensen’s spoiler, is that he called the whole thing a CONFESSION. Dude. The last time Dean confessed to anything was in a church and it almost gave me a heart attack. Since that scene was the closest this show has ever come so far to Dean actually coming out of the fucking closet.

So not only is this an intimate prayer to Cas, an explanation of his bad treatment of Cas and an admittance of his feelings over the whole thing, its also a confession. 

Interesting choice of words Jensen. Confession to what exactly? Because this is starting to feel suspiciously like a very profound moment between our two boys. It’s clearly an important scene. 

Then Misha on top of this, has confirmed that Cas hears the prayer. Which yay for starters, and also think about how he explained the situation:

“But that tension between Cas and Dean will play out for some time, and we won’t really have a resolution to that. I think the audience, and frankly Cas, will finally understand what it is that’s upsetting Dean so much in episode 9. So we’re a ways off from that arc feeling like it’s resolved.”

You have to read this entire paragraph as one: 

The tension will play out for sometime but Cas and the audience will understand what the deal is in episode 9. So we are a way off from that arcs resolution.

When Misha was talking about the resolution being way off, he was talking about the time between now and episode 9. He confirms that it is at least somewhat resolved in episode 9. That’s what I interpret as being implied here anyway. 

This plus Jensen’s entire answer was to the question “when will Dean and Cas patch things up?” Jensen answered “episode 9″.

Like??? How are people misunderstanding this and blowing it so far out of proportion? Bitter people are so desperate to cling to their negativity that they are totally misinterpreting the information they are being given. It’s extremely frustrating.

Anyway, the one other gripe you had was about Dean’s prayer being about Sam or because he is worried about Sam. Okay except that has come out of absolutely nowhere other than bitters who are actually threatened by Sam which I find utterly ridiculous. So what if the prayer is triggered by Sam? Maybe Sam is in a perilous situation and Dean doesn’t know what to do so he prays. I mean, is that really so bad? Dean usually IS motivated by Sam, so it’s not exactly a huge deal. The main thing to focus on here is that the prayer will be about Dean and Cas and THEIR issues. It will resolve THAT ARC. The arc that doesn’t involve Sam. 

Honestly, I don’t think that Dean’s prayer will be triggered by Sam though. Because Sam has never been part of this particular arc that Bobo has been writing. I mean maybe its possible that the whole thing could be triggered by Sam yelling at Dean to sort out his shit with Cas because they are stronger together and Sam is fed up of being stuck in the middle in which case GREAT because I would LOVE to see more exasperated Sam telling his brother to talk to his estranged husband. 12x10 is one of my all time favourite episodes BECAUSE OF SAM.

But again, I don’t think that an intimate private prayer confession from Dean to Cas will have anything to do with Sam because quite frankly, I can’t see how to fit him in a way that makes sense outside of my own 12x10 repeat above. 

So please, stop panicking over things we don’t know. Stop making negative assumptions. Focus on the good stuff and enjoy what the show is giving us right now. I’m still riding the DeanCas break up scene high because that shit was romantic AF and no one can tell me otherwise. I’m still amazed that in this shows final season Dean and Cas’s emotional arc is getting pushed into the A plot. In all the years of watching this show this has only ever been the case once before and that was in 13x01-13x06. This is a huge deal. Enjoy it and stop letting negative Nancy’s drag you down.

[bbygrvr]

⌠ DEV PATEL, 32, MALE, HE/HIM ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, BOBBY GROVER! originally hailing from BLACKTHORNE, this alum specializes in DRIVER’S ED. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of (a selfie with a no loitering sign, days old take-out, the crash of shattered glass).  it’s the (aries)’s birthday on 06/04/1998, and when they were still in school their most requested dish was RIBEYE STEAK from the school’s chefs. hopefully their presence can help ease the minds of gallagher students. ⌿ tasha, 22, she/her, best ⍀ <- just realized i put best instead of est i swear that wasn’t intentional pls don’t think im up my own ass dfhjg

guess who did a complete 180 n was like .. haha .. what if .. i bring an alum .. a character that i’ve used before in a gang rp dfjhg who was a .. Getaway Driver . and the non-commitment of it was v appealing to me at 4am !  all the good stuff under the read more .. n just the tiniest of plugs .. during my 4am journey i also finally got around  to writing luce’s bio . 4 everyone who wanted a powerpoint of all her exes , this ones for u its a doozy xo lov a gorl who is defined by men :))) tw: drug addiction, car crash, murder (FOR BOBBY DFJH)  + HIS PINTEREST bc it’s probably my favourite one 

BACKSTORY

i am obsessed with the trope that danger breeds from boredom in suburbia but to make it even spicier , why not combine it with someone who might be a literal sociopath ? born in grosse pointe shores , one of the most affluent suburbs in detroit .

was born robert, but that’s a boring name for a boring man, something he is anything but . he’s a third generation american, and grew up in the typical white picket fence neighbourhood , though his family is extremely wealthy from investing in fossil fuels . however , they live modestly which has always been a major gripe with bobby .  

he’s been a problem child for as long as he can remember , sneaking into r-rated movies before he was a teen , and he could’ve been a hipster artist with the amount of weed he smoked and bullshit he spewed . however , he excelled in school , his parents unworried as he placed at the top of his class , and only comment from teachers was that he talked too much .

at sixteen he gets his driver license , and soon enough pavements are tracked with tire marks and he’s running reds and hiding the ticket notices from his parents . street racing’s his jam , there’s white powder on the tip of his nose . he’s also the unofficial bookie for an underground fight club ... spending most of his time in the city which is only a twenty minute drive .

his parents start to pay attention , he thinks , finally those dumb fucks . they send him to therapy . therapists are obsessed with roots of trauma and thinking processes . but he’s not angry and he’s never faced any tragedy . what a waste of time , he thinks , but they prescribe him some pretty dope pills .

he wreaks havoc on his parents while rousing suspicion of blackthorne recruiters . under the guise of school recruiters they tell his parents of a private boarding school for gifted young students . they enrol him immediately . he’s planning to escape the first chance he gets , but falls in love before he can . not with anyone , but the school . this place is fucking epic . he keeps using but he’s extremely high functioning .

he’s never killed anyone before , and no one’s wronged him to the point of deserving death , so he goes big ‘cos he sure as hell isn’t going home and kills the ceo of chevron , a multibillion dollar oil company , because nothing has wronged him like climate change has . it’s easy enough , under the right tutelage , but he still pukes after .

his spy career lasts for seven blissful years , but his addiction comes to a boil when he crashes at 120 mph into a brick wall after believing that his car could go through it . to this day , he still believes that the coke he had snorted previously was laced with something . a fellow spy in the passenger seat dies .

blackthorne pulls him out and locks him up , very trainspotting scene except he’s locked up for a year , it’s possibly the worst experience of his life , and still shudders at the memories of withdrawing . they tell him that if they ever find out he’s using again they’ll kill him , no questions asked . then , they allow him to go to a proper rehab facility .

he’s now been sober for three years , and has the chip to prove it .

PERSONALITY

extremely outspoken to the point of rudeness , crass too . always makes every conversation an attempt to provoke for the shits and giggles of it .

pretty hyperaware of everything that’s going on even if it doesn’t seem like it . he’ll like , swat a fly out of nowhere mid-conversation then hold up his palm to whoever’s talking to him to show the fly gut’s on his hand .

self-indulgent , doesn’t have much of a moral compass , goes where the fun is .

super pumped about being an alum to the students , he has made lesson plans .

TRIVIA

would have gone to school for film , even though he could have been able to apply for anything and get in . obsessed with body horror ( cronenberg’s his hero ) and german expressionism .

his last name comes from the original surname of guruvara/gorovare which is a sanskrit word for teacher/mentor so maybe he was destined for this ... king shit .

hasn’t talked to his parents since he was sixteen despite them reaching out multiple times , he hates them for some , inexplicable reason .

from like eighteen to when he got sober .. how do i say this .. his dick .. was not performing as if should have DHJG ?? that just gives u the impression as to how many drugs he was taking at the time .

CONNECTIONS

calling all driver’s eds kids ! just hit me up , because he probably has a detailed plan on how to mentor you .

any other kids who have no experience with driving , but want to learn !

his death count’s low , but any sort of connection to the person he who died in his car when he was off his ass .

alternatively , any blackthorne kids who’ve heard the rumours that he killed the ceo of the oil company , stroke his ego !

he was truly working overtime those seven years he was a spy so any other alum , maybe they worked a job together !

[cygnetofthesea]

66 , westallen:)

I’ve been wanting to write this AU for two months now and I finally get to all the while fulfilling this prompt–shooting two feathers with one arrow (I just made that up because “killing two birds with one stone is so morbid”). Hope you guys enjoy this!

Staring At The Other’s Lips, Trying Not To Kiss Them, Before Giving In

Chemistry in Motion

If Dr. Barry Allen and Dr. Iris West were chemical elements like the ones they so dearly loved, together, they would be the compound that would cause explosions. The charged energy every time they were in a room together made their colleagues uncomfortable and often resulted in an awkward shuffle out of the lab. 

Only Dr. Harrison Wells, their mentor, was brave enough to stay in the room as he barked at them to “quit the bickering and remind me why I brought you both onto the team.”

If anyone were to ask either Barry and Iris, neither would give in and admit the brilliance the other. Dr. Allen would gripe about how he couldn’t believe he was yanked from his hometown in Moscow just to be placed alongside a stubborn and infuriating scientist who did nothing but question him at every turn. 

(Nevermind the fact that he’d also often mutter under his breath about the “beautiful and brilliant nuisance” in his native Russian tongue lest Dr. West overhear and call him out on it.)

Dr. West, on the other hand, would practically emit steam from her ears every time his name even came up. 

“Don’t even mention the puppy-eyed ‘doctor’ who keeps putting in the wrong units of measurement into the acceleration mass spectrometer. You’re in America, use the correct units!”

(Nevermind the fact that she thinks it’s stupid they were the only ones that used a different form of measurement than the rest of the world…Or that she could barely look at Dr. Allen for too long because his stupid bespectacled green eyes made her soft like the way his hair flopped when he ran his hand through it in frustration.)

The tension between the two scientists reached a new height when Iris found that Barry had once again changed the settings on all their machinery. It was only after she punched into the numbers before she noticed the small units in the bottom corner of the screen. 

She clenched her jaw and absolutely seethed. Whirling around, she charged at Barry as he sat hunched over a microscope.

“What is that matter with you?”

“Well, yesterday, it was my turtle being eaten by my cat. I had to scold her most severely,” he responded blithely in his heavy accent.

Iris reared back at that, baffled, but he continued on without looking up.

“After that, it was watching you nearly crack your neck while reaching for the graduated cylinder as I specifically said I would get it for you. Nearly gave me a heart attack,” he commented casually. “And well, at the moment, you’re shouting at me while I’m trying to concentrate on identifying the particles in this chemical that was shot at us by our enemies. What’s the matter with you?”

Iris spluttered, taking all that in, especially the bit where her well-being nearly gave him a heart attack, before remembering why she was irked.

“Well, today, and not to mention every other day, it’s you! You changed all the units of every single one of our equipment. Are you asking for a disaster on a nuclear level?”

He swiveled around in his chair and looked at her. “No. I am simply asking why I must compromise and yield to your every need. Try adapting to a different lifestyle.”

He swiveled back to his desk and scribbled in his book while muttering, “And perhaps try a different flavor of men.”

“What was that?” she demanded, cocking her head to the side.

“Oh nothing,” he said simply before she, again, heard him mutter something. “I suppose Dr. Thawne and his blondeness is quite nice too.”

“What? What the hell does Eddie have to do with anything? And quit being so damn passive-aggressive.”

He whirled around and looked her square in the eye. “Fine. Would you like assertiveness? How’s this for assertive? You are beyond infuriating,” he enunciated.

“Me? How am I infuriating? You’re the one who walked into this lab with a stick up your ass and your nose in the air since day one!”

He got up from his stool and advanced toward her. “That is not true. I was actually excited to work alongside you, the esteemed Dr. Iris West until I found out that you don’t exactly play well with others.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Ah, how do I say it? You’re not a team player. ‘It’s my way or the highway.’”

She scrunched up her nose. “I never said that!”

“Oh, you didn’t have to say the words explicitly. I got the picture.”

“That’s bullshit.”

“Oh, is it?” he asked in mock surprise.

She looked up at him, at those annoyingly gorgeous eyes framed by those annoyingly thick and adorable lashed and let out a frustrated growl. A small voice in the back of her head whispered that perhaps there was a little truth to his words. Iris was, after all, alone her whole life. She never knew what it was like to be part of something other than herself.

“You! You are so full of yourself if you think you have me pegged, you arrogant…accented…ass!”

He let out a harsh breath through clenched teeth. “Chert by tebyapobral, tvoichertovskikrasivyyeglazaigubykrichalinamenya!”

“What did you say to me?” she belted, pointing a finger at him. “What kind of person argues in a different language? How am I supposed to present my counter-argument if I can’t understand a damn word you just said to me?”

“I said,” he replied, jabbing a finger at her and moving closer until they were just inches apart. “‘Goddamn you and your fucking beautiful eyes and lips screaming vitriol at me’!”

Iris let out a sharp breath as her chest heaved, her eyes wide. “W-what?” she uttered in a small voice, a decidedly stark contrast to the volume she previously took on. 

“You’re a marvelous being but so goddamn stubborn it drives me absolutely mad,” he glared.

Iris couldn’t help but let her eyes flit to his lips where heavy puffs of air emitted. Heavy, hot air that she wanted to feel against her. Desperately. 

She looked up at him only to see that his own eyes had traveled to her lips as well. Before either knew what was happening, they charged at each other, their lips finding one another like magnets.

And they absolutely melted and fused against one another. It was electric. For the first time since they met each other, they finally yielded to the other as their bodies gave and took.

She was pliant under his hands as he brought them firmly around her to lift her and settled on top of their lab table while her leg wound around his waist and kept him firmly against her. She let her heels drop with a clatter as she practically scaled his torso. He gave into her touch, groaning under the feel of her hands traveling under his lab coat and dress shirt to the expanse of his back while his hands dove into her hair and guided her lips in time with his. 

He gasped against her skin. “Gods, I’ve dreamed of getting lost in you. Feeling your soft, shiny hair between my fingers,” he whispered into her mouth. “You really are incredible.”

His words jolted in her chest as her skin heated under his touch. 

“I don’t mind it when you change the units,” she breathed as she kissed along his cheek to his ear. 

“It makes me so hot when I see you working on those heavy machineries and when you balance equations in your head.”

She laughed breathlessly as his lips dragged across her throat, leaning her head back. “I’m sorry I wasn’t welcoming when you first arrived. I really do respect the work you do here.”

He licked her jaw and smiled against her cheek. “You were already forgiven. Besides, you’re making up for it plenty now. This is quite a welcome. Albeit late.”

They looked at each other softly for a long moment before leaning in again, unable to stay apart for long. As they explored one another, little did they know Dr. Wells was walking by. 

He did a double-take when he saw what was happening through the lab window before he looked away and rolled his eyes. 

“Fucking finally,” he grumbled as he walked away, leaving the love birds to their private moment.

[jovialheartcupcake]

Free Ftp Software For Mac Os X

Cyberduck is a libre server and cloud storage browser for Mac and Windows with support for FTP, SFTP, WebDAV, Amazon S3, OpenStack Swift, Backblaze B2, Microsoft Azure & OneDrive, Google Drive and Dropbox. A native citizen of Mac OS X and Windows. Notification center. Free ftp and sftp client for mac os x free download. Invoice Ninja Invoice Ninja is a free and open source invoicing, expenses and time-tracking app built with Laravel. Mobirise is available for Windows and macOS and comes fully free of charge. If you need a fully responsive website in the fastest way possible, ditch the code editors and head over to Mobirise. Some of the best HTML editors for Mac OS X are free or available as an evaluation version with no enforced time limit.

Ftp Application For Mac

Free Ftp Software

Free Ftp Software For Mac Os Xp

My point here is this: every IT professional and practitioner needs a good FTP client (and possibly server) in their corner. Whether you’re building a site or sharing files, FTP provides ease and capacity unavailable in simple computer-to-computer transfers. The popularity and long history of this protocol means there are lots of players in the game—FTP clients for Windows, FTP clients for macOS, FTP clients for mobile, free FTP clients and paid FTP clients—and the right one for you depends on the client’s features and your needs. We’re here to help you sort through the clutter with the following list. Don’t have time to read through top FTP programs? My top pick is the SolarWinds® Serv-U® Managed File Transfer Server solution if you need reliable, business-level capabilities.

“Commander One looks like a great app to have on your Mac if you’re frustrated with OS X’s built-in file management.” Cultofmac.com ”Once it’s installed, you get dual pane browsing, unlimited tabs, a variety of sorting options, an easy toggle for revealing hidden files, and more. The Best Free FTP Software app downloads for Mac: Cyberduck Fetch Transmit CuteFTP Mac Professional Classic FTP Plus CrossFTP ForkLift Yummy FTP Pro C.

Here you can jump ahead to FTP Client Software reviews:

What to Keep in Mind When Choosing FTP Client Software

File Transfer Protocol is necessary when you’re communicating with a server. It’s the FTP client software that initiates the request of the server. That’s typically relevant when you’re building or maintaining a website but could also matter when transferring large files that can’t be stored on RAM. (This latter use has become less popular with the rise of cloud computing.) For smaller data transfers, going machine-to-machine is still fine.

A note on security: FTP was developed before cybersecurity was the concern that it is today, so data is sent unencrypted. That might be fine if you’re just hosting whitepapers for download or transferring non-private information. But if you have any sensitive documents or your industry has privacy regulations, using an unsecured connection could be a PR headache at best and regulatory negligence charges at worst.

That’s why Secure FTP, or SFTP, was developed. (FTPS is another, less common, encrypted form of FTP.) In fact, FTP and SFTP are often used interchangeably now, though you shouldn’t assume this is the case when choosing your client; verify that you’re getting SFTP if you need it.

Why pay for a top FTP program when there are so many popular free versions? As we’ve noted previously in this blog, “Open-source is only free if your time is worthless.” That’s a bit harsh, but the message is important: open-source and free proprietary options aren’t going to provide the support and customization of a paid service and team. You’ll spend a lot of time learning, customizing, and maintaining the program yourself, and it still might fail sometimes. This should be foremost on your mind if regular, secure, and reliable data transfer is mission-critical for your business and not just tangential.

Best FTP Client Overall

With SolarWinds Serv-U Managed File Transfer (MFT) Server, you get all the business-level capabilities you need at the affordable price you’ve come to expect from other Serv-U product offerings like Serv-U File Transfer Protocol (FTP) Server.

Like FTP Server, Serv-U MFT provides total control over your file transfers—even 3GB+ files—within your organization, over both web and mobile devices. It simplifies file transfer for users with single drag-and-drop features. I’d say the real advantage here is the intuitive dashboard that allows central control and customizable automation abilities (and the ability to look over activity logs as needed).

And of course, you get the crucial security features you need and expect for business functions, like Active Directory integration and authentication features. Files can be transferred over FTP, FTPS, SFTP, and HTTP/S protocols, over both IPv4 and IPv6 networks. Designed to deliver reliable and secure file transfers, this file transfer tool focuses on helping you ensure regulatory compliance for PCI DSS, HIPAA, and other standards that require secure data transfers. Serv-U MFT can take loads off your plate and keep your system running smoothly.

Serv-U MFT Server is designed to be easy to install and supports deployment on Windows and Linux® platforms.

Best Free FTP Client for Windows

WinSCP is like the Honda Civic of FTP clients—ubiquitous, relatively reliable, and affordable (free, in fact, because it’s open-source), all-in-all a decent option for a variety of users. It supports the SFTP protocol for added security and supports SCP (as the name suggests), as well as WebDAV and Amazon S3. WinSCP has an integrated text editor and allows for remote editing, which is then uploaded to the server automatically when saving, making editing a snap. And there are three portable versions, including one for Linux.

A few drawbacks: it’s built on Windows, so Mac users are out of luck. And if you use UNC to organize files on a LAN, WinSCP isn’t compatible with that either. Plus, some users criticize WinSCP’s odd keyboard command layout and the inability to customize shortcuts. (A minor gripe, but I bet it will annoy you after a while.)

Runner-Up, Best Free FTP Client for Windows

FileZilla might be the undisputed champ of open-source FTP clients if not for some unfortunate moves and PR. It works for Windows, macOS, and Linux, has drag-and-drop, tabbed interface, bookmarks, and remote editing as well as file search. Out since the early 2000s, FileZilla has racked up thousands of happy users and supporters.

But the program’s host, SourceForge, earned some ill will when it started bundling FileZilla downloads with adware or using deceiving tactics to get users to download unwanted programs. Some users even claimed malware was loaded onto their computers. Current versions still contain ads on update pages, so be careful. And in 2014, it was revealed that fake versions of FileZilla were loaded with malware that was stealing login credentials, so you should make sure you are downloading a legit version.

Best Free FTP Client for macOS

At first glance, Transmit might not seem like a standout. Like other competitive FTP clients, it supports FTP, FTPS, SFTP, Amazon S3, or WebDAV protocols, and integrates easily with Amazon Drive, Backblaze B2, DreamObjects, Dropbox, Google Drive, Microsoft Azure, Microsoft OneDrive, Microsoft OneDrive for Business, OpenStack Swift, and Rackspace Cloud Files cloud storage accounts. Transmit is also great for automated syncing.

What makes Transmit special? It does all this for macOS. In a field dominated by Windows FTP clients, this is easily the best FTP client for macOS. And as proprietary freeware, you get the updates and guidance of a paid service without spending a dime.

Runner-Up, Best Free FTP Client for macOS

Cyberduck is another big name among the best free FTP clients, especially among FTP clients for macOS. (There is also a Windows version, but because Cyberduck was built on macOS, its features are macOS-leaning.) It supports FTP and SFTP, WebDAV, OpenStack Swift, Amazon S3, Backblaze B2, and Microsoft Azure. Users love its simple and friendly graphic interface with drag-and-drop (for bookmarks too) and its support of dozens of languages. Cyberduck doesn’t have a built-in text editor but integrates with whichever your favorite is. And it allows for remote previewing of some files without downloading them.

However, that simple and easy user interface might not be sufficient for some power users. And though this is a free open-source program, it will prompt you for donations until you donate, which can get irritating.

Honorable Mentions

FireFTP is unique in that it’s not a standalone desktop program, but an add-on for the Mozilla Firefox browser (although the creators now recommend using Waterfox). This adds a lot of convenience for Firefox power users, but not much advantage for everyone else. If you prefer trees of directories and lists of files to a more dressed-up user interface, FireFTP’s two-pane display is for you.

CuteFTP is one of the most popular paid FTP clients on the web. Reviews tout its ease of use and simplicity. Standouts include the automation of file transfers and the built-in editor (Scintilla). Thanks to a feature called Tappin, you can easily share files between desktop and mobile devices. Available for Windows, CuteFTP is free to try and costs $59.99 standalone, with an additional $30 for a year of maintenance and support.

CloudMounter works a little differently because it’s not exactly an FTP client. It’s more like a direct connection to your FTP server as if the server were a removable drive. So instead of complicated software and interfaces, all you have to do is open up Finder. Few other FTP clients can say that they make it as easy as plugging in a thumbnail drive. CloudMounter is free to try and costs $29.99 (or an additional $10 for a “lifetime upgrades guarantee”). It’s primarily known for its macOS version but is also available for Windows and Linux according to its website.

One More Time: The Best FTP Client

The best FTP software depends all on your needs and budget, but I highly recommend looking at paid services to ensure regulatory compliance, security, and reliability. Check out SolarWinds Serv-U MFT for the most reliable option—and with all the security issues that can arise with transfers, you shouldn’t take that reliability lightly.

Related Articles

Best SIEM Tools 2020 – the best FTP Client software can support sending server logs to SIEM tools for help with deeper security analysis and compliance reporting. Check the list of best SIEM software.

Best Website Monitoring Tools 2020 – If you’re reading this article, you likely have a website to run. Monitoring is another important part of that and has a similar cost/benefit analysis between free and paid software.

Best Log Management Software 2020 – Time to update your strategy for log management? Here’s our 2020 list of tools with suggestions for every budget.

CrossFTP/Pro/Enterprise 1.99.6

Download CrossFTP/Pro/Enterprise for Windows, Mac, and Linux. CrossFTP Pro/Enterprise's evaluation will turn back to the Free CrossFTP after 30 days.

Windows Download (exe)

Mac OS X Download (zip, OS X 10.11+)

Debian Download (deb) for Ubuntu/Debian-based OS. (Installation guide)

Web Start Download (jnlp) run CrossFTP from web.Portable Download (Require JDK 7+) for Win, Mac, Linux, and Solaris. CrossFTP Commander is included.

Others Windows (exe, require JRE) Mac App Store (CrossFTP Pro) Mac (zip, require JDK7+) Mac (zip, require JDK5+)

(Upgrade to unlock Pro functions)

Installation Troubleshooting

- Mac Installation Issue:

'CrossFTP.app” is damaged and can’t be opened. You should move it to the Trash.

Solution: Please choose 'Allow apps downloaded from: Anywhere' in your System Preferences -> Security & Privacy.

- Linux Installation Issue:

How to install on non-debian linux?

Please download the portable package, extract the content to a folder, and go into that folder. After that,

1. Add the execution permission for run_client.sh by:

chmod +x ./run_client.sh

2. execute run_client.sh to start CrossFTP client by:

./run_client.sh

If you met any issues, please check if Java is properly installed on your system and available in the path; you are running CrossFTP in GUI.

- Debian based Linux installation guide:

System requirement: JDK 7+.

Use the following commands to install CrossFTP on Debian based Linux, such as Ubuntu. (Background context: Sometimes Ubuntu Software Center alerts me: 'Bad quality packet'):

1. Download the deb package, e.g., crossftp_deb_package.deb

2. Go to the downloaded deb file's folder, and execute:

sudo dpkg -i ./crossftp_deb_package.deb

For uninstall, you can use the following command:

sudo dpkg --remove corssftp

- JNLP web start issue:

If you met one of the following issues:

Java applications are blocked by your security settings.

Missing Application-Name manifest attribute

Missing required Permissions manifest attribute in main jar

On Windows, you can go to Java Control Center.

Or on Mac/Linux/Win, you can use 'javaws -viewer' command to open the Java Control Center

After that, follow this link to solve the blocked issue.

Ftp Application For Mac

Cannot edit/open file on Mac

On Mac, if you met issues to edit or open file, such as 'Cannot run program '/usr/bin/open': error=2, No such file or directory', please:

Download and install non-AppStore version CrossFTP from this page. See this page for details.

Free Ftp Software

Archived version:

Free Ftp Software For Mac Os Xp

Mac OS X 10.3 or JDK 1.4 users can download CrossFTP 1.53 here.

Documents

Blog - Our product news and intro.

Manual - CrossFTP User Manual.

Knowledge Base - Here you may find the answer for your question.

Tutorials - CrossFTP tutorials.

Privacy Policy - CrossFTP privacy policies.

PAD file - PAD file of CrossFTP.

Reseller Program - Become our affiliate partner.

[westletter]

January 2021

Dear Friends,  One of Albrecht Durer’s most enduring images is this 1498 woodcut depicting The Four Horsemen of the Apocalyse. It is based on the Bible’s Book of Revelation and can be interpreted variously. But the essentials are fairly basic: as punishment for our sins, mankind will be visited by Pestilence, War and Famine, followed by the ragged cleanup hitter down in the left hand corner, Death. In short, the End of Days is coming!  With resurgent COVID, bloody insurrection in Washington, hunger, hardship and death ravaging the land -- and why not throw in climate change for good measure -- one could be forgiven for concluding that the Apocalypse has arrived. Take away the religious element, and I am nearly there.  Yes, ultimately and somehow we shall overcome these travails, but this is a bleeping depressing mess we are in.  Why do so many seemingly intelligent people selfishly equate wearing a life-saving mask to taking away their freedom?  Why do so many flout the travel and social gathering rules?   Why are there millions who distrust the vaccines and say they won’t take them?  Can this really be happening?  Sadly, yes, and those four horsemen show no signs of slowing down.  Now we have seared in our brains forever the image of Confederate flag-waving “patriots”, egged on by the putative “leader of the free world”,  storming the Capitol in Washington in a violent attempt to subvert the presidential election.   My Great Grandpa Allen Sherman West who fought under Lincoln at Gettysburg is roaring from his grave.  This is not what he fought for.  Nor my father Allen Sherman West III who served in WWII.   My generation, the Boomers, has enjoyed for the most part, life without war.  That has been a blessing in many ways, at least materially.  No generation in history has lived so high off the hog, enjoyed such an expansion of human rights (but not responsibilities) and seen the average lifespan increase so dramatically.    But as the body politic has fattened, has our spirit become flabby?  Where are the social sinews that hold us together and give us the strength to face adversity collectively?  We had them in previous wars.  Are they gone forever, or can we get them back?  I am not sure.   Sometimes it takes a truly epic catastrophe, an Apocalypse if you will, to bring people to their senses.  Let us hope that is not the direction we are headed in now.   Apologies for posing so many questions without answers.  I leave it to the next generation, including Allen Sherman West IV, to guide us to enlightenment.  Watch out for those horsemen and stay well, CW 

                                             §

You probably recognise this fine fellow.  He is Mark Carney, the brilliant former Governor of the Bank of Canada who was a key figure in reforming the global financial system after the collapse in 2008.  He then went on to the governorship of the Bank of England and deftly stickhandled his way through the thickets of Boris Johnson and Brexit. What you may not recognise is that Mr. Carney has long been a champion of “impact investing”; i.e., investing that takes into account social, environmental and governance factors, so-called ESG investing.  In particular, for years he has been advocating the need to take what he has termed “the climate emergency” into account on private enterprises’ balance sheets.  He has argued on the one hand that there are enormous shareholder liabilities for companies that do not include environmental costs in the liabilities column.  On the other hand, he has proclaimed from the rooftops that there is a massive opportunity for shareholder gains in companies that are prepared to put capital to work in addressing climate change and reducing carbon output. Last August the elite banker found a new home where he is putting his philosophy  to work.  Brookfield Asset Management has appointed Mark Carney Vice Chair and Head of ESG and Impact Fund Investing.     Canadian-based Brookfield has over $550 billion in long-life assets under management and its subsidiary, Brookfield Renewables is home to a growing portfolio of hydro, solar and wind investments around the globe.  Said the visionary CEO of Brookfield, Bruce Flatt: “Over time we see ESG and impact funds matching the size of our existing platforms.”  “We are not going to solve climate change without the private sector,” said Mr. Carney in the Globe and Mail.  “We are in the early innings of a very long game.”   He is not talking small potatoes.  According to the industry publication Pensions and Investments: “The value of global assets applying environmental, social and governance data to drive investment decisions has almost doubled over four years, and more than tripled over eight years, to $40.5 trillion in 2020.”                                            §    CLASS OF 2021 MID-YEAR REPORT CARD  Sparkling returns mock the Apocalypse Apocalypses come and go, as do wannabe fascist autocrats.  The markets don’t care.  As the Headmaster has often remarked, he has no insight into where the markets are going in the short term.  All he knows is that a basket of well-managed companies with competitive advantages in promising sectors will rise nicely over time.   To wit: since the beginning of the school year, July 1st, 2020, the Class of 2021 turned in an average investment performance of 20.3% vs. 21.1%, 17.4% and 12.3% for the S&P 500, the Dow and the TSX respectively.  “Bravo Class!” declared the Headmaster.  “You stared the four horsemen down and matched or bested your benchmarks.  Keep up the good work.” Class results for the calendar year (January 1, 2020 - December 31st, 2020), that included the stomach-turning contraction last March, were similarly impressive.  The Class returned 13.6% vs. 15.5%, 6.5% and 2.8% for the S&P, the Dow and the TSX.   Here are the sector by sector results. Financials - A  Each of these blue chips -- TD Bank, ScotiaBank, RBC and BlackRock -- bore out its pedigree, with an average return of 21.8%.  BlackRock was the leader of the pack with a sterling 32.6% gain.  Remember, as previously reported, BlackRock is the largest investment fund company ($7.8 trillion under management at the end of September) in the world and CEO Larry Fink, echoing Mark Carney, has been an industry leader in demanding that companies do a better job of incorporating ESG into their strategic planning and financial reporting.  All promoted.  Resources - A plus The lone Class member in this highly cyclical category is Nutrien, the Calgary-based fertilizers and agricultural supplies retailer.  As the owner of the world’s largest, and lowest cost, potash reserves, the company enjoys the advantages of scale.  Adds the Headmaster: “When commodity prices are on an upswing, as they are now, Nutrien can do very well.”  Hard-working Nutrien’s return was 40.4%.  Promoted.  Energy - B  Quoth the Headmaster: “Enbridge has been a loyal, blue chip pipeline performer almost since this Class was formed 13 years ago.  It is with regret that I had to let him go this past October.  There was no pivotal event. Rather, the advantages of being a dominant conveyor of fossil fuels, in my humble view, came to be out-weighed by the disadvantages of same.”  “My timing may not be perfect, but it is inarguable that the production of fossil fuel, and businesses tied to it like Enbridge, are approaching or in decline.  It may be a long decline, but in the meantime, we need to give our precious Class space to an energy candidate with the winds of change behind it.  Last October I replaced Enbridge with Brookfield Renewables.”  From July 1st to October 10th, Enbridge  returned minus 5.5%.  From October 10th to December 31st, Brookfield Renewables returned 16.5%.  Promoted. Classmate Algonquin Energy, with investments in solar, wind and hydro, didn’t miss a beat during these pandemical times, with rising revenues and profits.  Its stock appreciated 19.3%.  Promoted.  Infrastructure - B Once again, Brookfield Infrastructure proved the value of its business model, investing in long-term assets like rail, toll roads and cell phone towers, with regulated cash flows largely immune to the vicissitudes of the markets.  The company’s stock price advanced 12.7% over the past six months.   Adds the Headmaster: “I am delighted that CEO Sam Pollock has reiterated his commitment to recycling assets, selling mature businesses when prices are high, and buying new ones that are out of favour when prices are low.  No one plays the game better than Brookfield.”

The company is forecasting $2 billion in new investments annually for the next three to five years, all financed without issuing new shares.  Promoted. Retail - C Classmates Alimentation Couche Tard (convenience stores) and Metro (groceries), as one might expect, benefited from being deemed “essential” in the pandemic and to date have been largely unscathed.  Their share prices, however, don’t reflect this achievement, up a very modest 1.6%.   Adds the Headmaster: “There’s excellent value there.  Metro, in particular, reaped large gains in revenue and profits at the expense of the locked down restaurant sector.  It will be interesting to see how much of those gains they can hang onto.”  Both promoted.   Industry - A plus Workhorses CCL (containers and labels), CNR and John Deere showed the Headmaster their mettle with an average return over the past six months of 39.8%.  He says: “That average masks the spectacular performance of Deere, which had a gain of 71% fuelled by rising farm crop prices and the promise of major infrastructure stimulus spending on the heels of the US election.”  All promoted. Healthcare - C plus “I must remind myself that patience is a virtue,” gripes the Headmaster.  Yet again, the markets have failed to ignite under the Class healthcare trio, Johnson & Johnson, Amgen and Merck.  “Not to worry,” he quickly adds.  “While an average gain of 4.1% is nothing to write home about, each of these wonderful businesses is riding the pandemical wave with ease.  In fact, both J&J and Merck are in the thick of the vaccine race, although they don’t need a winner there to do well.  That would be icing on the cake." Final comment: “I have no doubt the market will better appreciate the value in these companies in the months ahead.”  All promoted. Telecom - B “Class member Telus,” says the Headmaster, “is nothing if not a model of consistency, once again boasting the lowest “churn rate” (customer turnover) in the industry.”  Telus also owns PC Magazine’s “Fastest Canadian Mobile Network” title.  These, and other virtues, underlie the company’s more than respectable return of 10.7%.  Little known fact: Telus derives about 15% of its revenues from Telus International, a global outsourcing and digital solutions company.  According to the the Headmaster: “There’s a possibility Telus will spin out International.  If they do, I would expect a nice bump in shareholder value.”  Promoted. Information Technology - A Classmates Visa, Apple, Microsoft and Open Text combined for an average return of 17.1%.  It must be noted, though, that Apple did more than its share of the heavy lifting, with a return of 45.5%.  “Of this foursome,” says the Headmaster, “only Visa has failed to grow its revenues and profits through the pandemic.  It’s almost perverse how well Apple and Microsoft have done.  Granted, luck has something to do with it, but good businesses make their luck.  Both these companies have spent years and billions making it easier for people to work, and learn, and be entertained remotely.  COVID-19 has only accelerated the trend they were already on.”  All promoted.  Entertainment - A plus  “I sometimes get asked,” says the Headmaster, “why I don’t invest in so-called ‘disruptive technology’ companies, the ones grabbing the headlines like Tesla and Square and Shopify with their sky high stock prices and stratospheric valuations to match. Too risky, I answer.  And I don’t need to be greedy.” “There are a number of companies in the Class of 2021 that give us plenty of exposure to innovation and disruption, without the nosebleed valuations and the attendant risk.  Look at good old Disney.  The growth in their streaming business is screaming, but I don’t have to pay an arm and a leg for it.”     Disney expects its streaming subscriber base to triple to about 250 million by 2024.  The stock is up 62.5% since last July 1st.  Promoted. If you would like further information on any of the investing ideas raised in this issue, or a complimentary consultation, please call or email.  CW