#n its a very small thing ik but today was a hard day

[artisthedgehog]

i feel like im an idiot here but whenever someone doesnt know almost anything abt a thing i know too much about and says theyre a fan i get very annoyed 😭 like i didnt spend nights investigating abt it to call myself a true fan so you would come here knowing 2 things abt it and say ur a bigger fan than me I KNOW I SHOULNDT FEEL THIS OK I LET PPL BE FANS DONT GET ME WRONG BUT YOU GET ME RIGHT

[onewithnomightypowers]

Old Habits

pairing: Tom Holland x fem!reader

summary: Old habits come back when you meet an ex lover after a long time. Conversations feel like you never stopped talking to them. Sometimes you have to see them one last time to say goodbye like you mean it but most of the time it doesn’t go as planned.

warning: drinking

words: 2.1k

a/n: could be read as part 2 of last kiss but is a stand alone. got a bit poetic at the end. hope you guys like it. and as always, love reading your opinions/reactions. also asks are open. (gif not mine)

masterlist 

'@tomholland2013 posted a story'

'@tomholland2013 posted a story'

 She picked up her phone to open Instagram. Yes, Y/N still had notifications on for his account even after they were broken up for months. Classic Tom. 

 He posted two of the same picture on his story. No one understood how that would happen almost every time, not even the people working at Instagram to whom they contacted about the glitch.

 Tom had his hair slicked back, standing in a white t-shirt next to Harry, his brother, giving a million-dollar smile. They were holding a clapperboard together. There was text on the picture too, 'day 1 let's go!!' She smiled to herself. Just because they weren't together doesn't mean that she wasn't allowed to feel happy for his achievements. Even though she wishes to know all these big things from Tom himself she is, unfortunately, left here, watching a small part of his life flash in front of her for less than thirty seconds.

 "Are you listening?" Hope, Y/N's date said.

 "Yeah, I'm sorry. You were saying?" Y/N placed the phone back where it was resting, next to the cold wine bottle.

 "You seem distant," they said.

 When she 'met' Hope (she only really met them 30 minutes ago), Y/N wasn't looking for love, just sex, and that is what online dating specializes in. She hoped Hope knew what they were signing up for, sexual intimacy and nothing else.

 "It doesn't matter does, does it? We both know what we are here for. Why not just cut the chase," Y/N replied.

--

It was early in the morning, the sun had yet to shine in its full glory. Y/N could only think of the first time she stayed over at Tom's old apartment but then she turned her head only to find Hope's naked body next to her. Her heartbeat accelerated with the realization that he was not hers anymore. Being in a foreign environment didn't help her growing anxiety, twisting and turning her intestines.

 It's been four months, her feelings for Tom refuse to quit on her because she knows she could never quit on them, on him, even if he has. He probably has already found someone else in Canada, she thought. She didn't want him anymore but she still needed him, one last time just to teach her stupid heart how to say goodbye.

 Y/N wore her clothes and picked up her shoes, going on a trail to find Hope's door to get out before they wake up. Climbing down the stairs, she took out her phone from the back pocket of her jeans.

 '5 new messages from Sam' 7 hours ago

Sam: hey

Sam: ik it's late

Sam: I am going for a run tmr morning @6

Sam: do you wanna come?

Sam: will go to the new coffee house near my house after that

 Y/N texted him back

Y/N: I'll meet you at the coffee place

Sam: come fast. already here

--

Sam and Y/N were standing in the queue to place their orders. “You look especially shitty today,” Sam said, running his right hand through his sweaty hair.

“I haven’t been home yet,” Y/N reasoned her appearance.

 His mouth formed an ‘o’ shape. The person in front of them left the queue, they moved towards the counter. “One hazelnut latte, double shot with skimmed milk,” Y/N gave her order.

 “And you?” the cashier’s question directed to Sam.

 “I’ll have a matcha latte with oat milk”

 Sam turned to Y/N, “Harrison got me on matcha, and now I can’t go back to coffee”

 They paid their dues and moved over to the barista counter to collect their order.

 “So, what were you doing last night?” Sam inquired.

 “I was on a date, it isn't a big deal though. Just had some needs to take care of”

 “Oh, was it any good?”

 “It was fine. I was distracted the whole time. Saw Tom’s story about halfway into the bottle of merlot. Couldn’t stop thinking about him”

 “Seems…sad. But you know Tom is coming back for the Christmas weekend, I think. He might attend Harrison’s Christmas eve party”

 “One hazelnut latte and one matcha latte,” someone behind the counter screamed.

 “That’s us,” Sam raised his voice.

--

Harrison had a bucket inside his house, under a sign that said 'drop your tracking devices here' with an arrow pointing to the bucket. Y/N dropped her phone on a pile of roughly fourteen others. Debating whether to see Tom's face was something she wanted or not made her late and not very fashionably.

 The house was decorated with empty liquor bottles along with red and green streamers from one wall to another. Everyone was drunk in their best dress. There were no signs of Tom yet. Y/N took a deep breath, walking towards the kitchen to get herself some liquid courage to help her socialize.

 The kitchen was rather scarcely populated. Empty glasses were lined up next to the sink. Are they clean or used? Bending down, Y/N opened the refrigerator to see if Harrison had any chilled wine. No luck. "Hey," a familiar voice was heard.

 She looked up at the familiar stranger.

 "Hey Tom," she smiled. The refrigerator light falling on Y/N made her blush visible.

She grabbed a half-cut lemon placed in the egg tray.

 “How have you been?" Tom asked leaning back on the kitchen counter, observing her movements.

 Y/N walked towards the sink to grab herself a crystal glass hoping for it to be clean. "Just busy with work these days"

 "I heard you got a job at Condé Nast, is that true?" he took a sip from his beer.

 "Well, you heard right. You are looking at their new senior brand manager for digital", she said proudly.

 Tom hugged her from the side she was holding a knife to cut the lemon for her gin and tonic. "That's great darling! You always wanted to work there"

 Darling. The butterflies in her stomach were fluttering like the first time she met Tom.

 "I saw your story the other day. You started filming your script, right?" she dropped the lemon in the glass.  

 "Yup, it was a long time coming," he grabbed the knife she was using and washed it without even knowing. He was so used to Y/N never washing utensils after using them and, he would always have to clean up after her.

 "Congrats on that babe!" The word 'babe' just slipped out of practice.

 Y/N grabbed a Bombay Sapphire standing still on the marble slab. The blue of the bottle shinning even in the dim-lit room.

 "I missed you," Y/N made eye contact, screwing the cap back on. A long, silent pause.

 I miss you too, so very much

 She cleared her throat, "so, how long are you staying?"

 "Going back Monday morning"

 She opened a can of tonic water.

 "Are you seeing someone?" Tom asked.

 "Wouldn't you wanna know" a smirk on her face grew. "I've been out on few dates, nothing serious. What about you?"

 "Met this girl online, dated for a bit but, she wanted something I couldn't give to her"

 Y/N scoffed, "did she have a foot fetish or something?"

 "No, Y/N. She wanted love, not my feet" they both laughed.

 "On that topic..." Tom calmed himself, "...I was listening to this song a few weeks ago and, there was this line, 'the smell of your hair reminds me of her feet' and it made me think of you"

 "I reckon," she took a sip of her gin and tonic.

 "No, seriously, I really related to that line. No matter how many people I hook up with, it will be hard to find the type of intimacy I shared with you. I still relate to it"

 "I hate going on walks alone and having faceless dreams," Y/N blurted, lacking a proper reaction.

 "You're still the face of all my fantasies," Tom confessed.

 None of them knew what to say next. Anything they thought of saying now included walking over the blurry line of exes to lovers.

 "You look pretty"

 "Classic me, had a glow up after getting my heartbroken"

 "You always looked this pretty. You are beautiful," Tom assured her. The 'heartbroken part did not sit well with him. He already felt guilty for taking a job across the pond which was a great opportunity for him to grow but was only possible by severing his ties with Y/N.  

 --

It had just started snowing on Boxing Day. Tom was alone in his cold home, boiling a pot of ramen noodles. He took out his phone and snapped a picture of the burning stove with the pot on top.

Tom: *attached photo*

Tom: I come back after months and my family leaves me alone with no food

Y/N: you should add a poached egg

Tom: Thanks. I shall.

Tom: I think I made too much ramen for me

Tom: do you wanna come over and share?

 Her indecision was visible by the coming and going of the gray dots. Then finally, Tom could tame his anxiety by her simple reply.

 Y/N: sure.

--

There was a loud knock on the door. Tom put two bowls of hot ramen on the dining table and went to open the door. Behind the door, Y/N was standing with her hands inside her brown checker coat. There was dust of snow sitting on her shoulders. Her braided hair was made by the most anxious hands in town.

 The door opened and, Tom’s hands flew to take Y/N in his arms. They hugged like little kids hug their parents after being away from each other, for them, an eternity. It did feel like an eternity to them too but, they hadn’t forgotten each other’s touch.

 “I parked my car at the church, couldn’t find any spot here ‘cause of the snow," she pulled out.

 “The snow seems to be gaining momentum.”

 Y/N hummed in agreement. She took off her coat and hung it in the Holland’s coat closet.

 “Come on, the ramen is getting cold,” she followed tom into the kitchen.

 They sat adjacent on the wooden table in comfortable silence. Tom used chopsticks and, Y/N used a fork. Only the occasional noodles falling in the broth were heard, along with the gushing of wind.

 “It’s really spicy for me,” Tom said.

 “Yeah, I can see your ears turning red.”

She still remembers 

 Y/N raised her hand to cover her mouth while yawning.

 “Since you made the food, I’ll do the dishes,” she got up, grabbed their bowls, and walked over to the sink.

 Wearing the gloves, she turned to Tom, “it was quite tasty”.

 Tom gave her a smile.

 She spread the soap on the dishes and turned the tap on. Tom pushed his chair back to get up.

 “Have you made any friends at your new job,” he jumped and sat on the counter next to Y/N.

 “Yeah, sort of. Kyara works there too so, I have just made her friends my friends,” she washed his chopsticks.

 “That’s good. Have you talked to Emily after the wedding? She told me they are planning on adopting.”

 “They invited me over for dinner when they got the approval from the agency. Kyara made this amazing Hyderabadi biryani, it was her mum’s recipe so, it was obviously better than the restaurant”

 “God! You and your love for Indian food”

 Y/N removed her gloves, “I should go. Thanks for the ramen, by the way”

 “Are you sure you can go out in this weather?”

 “Yeah I think," she started walking out of the kitchen.

 Tom grabbed her hand. “Stay”, his voice was like cotton.

 Y/N turned and made contact with his pleading eyes. She moved closer to him. “Please”, he said. They both were inching in to lock their desperate lips.

--

Y/N did not notice when she had fallen asleep talking to Tom. Their naked bodies were covered by the white comforter. Her eyes slowly opened to a boy with brown eyes and messy hair looking at her.

 “I like it when you sleep. I love watching you sleep”

 She chuckled. “That’s a bit creepy, don’t you think?” She had a sleepy voice.

 “You look so serene, the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I could stare at you for eons”

 “But love, I'm only here till the snow settles,” she caressed his cheeks.

“Then the cold shall frost our limbs," he leaned in to kiss her.

tags: @elios-timotea​

[luv4kiyoomi-archive]

YANDERE GENERAL HEADACANONS || DAY 02

Tags : Tomura Shigaraki x reader , Keigo Takami x reader , headcanons , GN!reader TW YANDERE , tw manipulation , tw stalking , tw monopolising , NFSW

Rating : 16+ , UNDER WILL BE BLOCKED

WC : 0.8k

A/N ; tell me if u need an tw for anything else !! Also ik its villainevember but keigo luviee :((( AND MY ASS REALLY NEEDS TO CATCH UP WITH THE REST OF THE DAYS LMAO I SHOULD’VE STARTED EARLY , + I NEED TO MAKE AN NEW NAVI HNBGVFC Also i got an hq side blog !! It’s @haikyupedia , I’ll post a fic tomorrow or today

TOMURA SHIGARAKI

What type of yandere is he?

Tomura is the monopoly , sadistic and obsessed yandere. He thinks that you only need him and him only. Not because he’s the best but because you guys belong together! So don’t you dare even look at that other guy. You want to finally go out for once? Well too bad.

How did they meet?

Tomura met you after an villain attack , you were an reporter which didn’t necessary like the heroes and was more on the villains side. You had sympathy for them , understood why they did these things and take into consideration that they are just as worthy as love like everyone else. Tomura loved that about you but...instead of directly talking to you he just stalked you the whole time.

(Look he’s a shy boy okay??)

How do they stalk their darling?

When stalking you , he’s purposely obvious of his intention. Wanting you to notice him , whether for a good reason or not he just wants attention from his darling. He doesn’t know your favorite things just yet. He likes personal information he can use to his advantage. Whether it’s to manipulate you or just a fact on top of his head!

What is their kidnapping method?

Kidnapping you would be hard. He’s the top wanted villain and doesn’t have that good of a reputation so it’ll be hard to gain your trust. But what if he doesn’t want your trust? A little force can’t hurt anyone. He’ll send the league to corner you saying your an important person to get information from all might. And...you don’t need to know what else happened…

What is your reaction to being kidnapped?

when you wake up , you’re in Tomura’s room laying on his bed with just a shirt and panties on. His room...is full of photographs of you even when you were in ‘private’. There’s even a shrine dedicated to you and information about you written on the walls that you didn’t even know yourself.

you were aggressive and hostile towards Tomura when he tried to introduce himself. He didn’t know why , he loved you?! Can’t you see that , he knows everything about you unlike anyone else. Why are you so ungrateful? He did this all for you...

How would he treat you for now on?

like I said , Tomura is a sadistic yandere so he would treat you awfully but use ‘it’s out of love’ as an excuse. He would limit your food and water to a small amount , make you bathe in unfiltered water and much more. Not only that , even if he treats you terribly he always wants to know who you’re talking to , where you’re going and basically he wants to know every.Second.Of.Your.Life.

KEIGO TAKAMI

What type of yandere is he?

Keigo is the manipulative and isolating type of yandere. He always thinks that all you need is him. He’s smart , quick , handsome , perfect personality and rich! All the ladies are literally in love with him , wanting to be the one he puts the ring on , who wouldn’t want to be with Hawks?

How did they meet?

Keigo met you when you were applying to be his sidekick. You had great statistics and abilities. Your resume was on point too , not to mention your quirk was very useful to Hawks. Yet he rejected you and hired some nobody , he couldn’t risk you getting hurt! So he made sure every other agency rejected you too. He promised this all for your safety!

How do they stalk their darling?

Reminder that Hawks is fast and smart. He keeps track of everything you do without you noticing anything or are you just a naive little darling? Even if you do suspect him- he’ll laugh in your face for the ‘allegation’. Did you forget who he is? He’s Hawks , the number two hero. Always saving lives and fighting villains. As if he would do such an villainous thing and stalk somebody.

What is their kidnapping method?

When he plans his kidnapping, he would hire an faux villain to go and attack you then save you to gain your trust. He would tell you to follow you...now you’re suspicious of him , but what is the worst he can do? He’s an top pro hero and just saved your life.

What is your reaction to being kidnapped?

You were dead wrong. Everything went black , that’s the only moments you can recall. You are now in a replica of your old bedroom. Everything looks the same , not a thing out of place. It’s amazing but creepy at the same time. You look to see that you have an heavy chain on your leg to keep you from escaping.

When Hawks comes to greet you , you’re surprisingly calm but only because you think he’s here to save you. Oh, you gullible cute lil thing. He’s has already saved you. From all harm out there , no villains , no people to get in the way of your love and no one to take you away from him. He’s all that you need.

How would he treat you for now on?

Keigo would treat you as a royale. He didn’t have much growing up , so he doesn’t want the same for you. A snap of a fingers and it’s already right in front of you. He always has his way. Not only pampering you but act towards you as if you’re an glass doll. Keigo feeds you , bathes you , dresses you and does literally everything for you. He just doesn’t want you to tire yourself out!

[satoruvt]

the color of you - white (5)

ik keigo’s like a hero n he has his hero costume on all the time but for this chapter (for no particular reason) imagine him in light jeans and a black t-shirt ok thank u i hope thinking of that makes u as happy as it does me

pairing → keigo takami x bakery owner!reader

word count → 2368

summary → you’re not really dating, so you can’t really be in love with him... right?

song inspo → converse high by bts, somebody loves you by jeremy zucker, and some of can’t we just leave this monster alive? by tomorrow x together

this chapter → compromising positions, a flour war, a Moment, y/n realizes some things and keigo’s a little shit

part one | part two | part three | part four | part five

The sun has never been your friend in the mornings, and you’re reminded of that fact every single time you wake up. For someone who doesn’t like getting blinded first thing in the morning, you sure were bold to put your bed right next to the window, knowing full well the first few hours of sunlight shone directly onto your pillows.

Your brain wakes up before your body does, a few lingering thoughts from your dream swimming in your head in fragmented colors and sentences, and once you’re more coherent you open your eyes, flutter at the sunlight - wait, this isn’t your bed.

There’s sun nearby, sure, but the window’s too distant. Your vision’s a little blurry from sleep but you think you know your colors pretty well and these sheets do not match the ones you picked out from Target, like, two years ago. And then you remember, oh, awards ceremony. Hotel. Suite. Okay.

You move to stretch, manage to get your arms above your head, but even when you move the arm around your waist stays put. For a second you think holy shit, I’m paralyzed, but then you realize that you don’t have three arms. And then you realize that the arm around your waist belongs to Keigo, who’s still in your bed.

For the first time this morning your brain catches up on time with the sudden thought of “he’s not your actual boyfriend, what is this” but when you turn your head to wake up him with a flick on his forehead you stop. 

You’re a fan of him. It’s not hard for you to admit - it’s just an add-on, at this point, because Keigo is definitely more of a friend than an idol to you. You’re a fan, no less, you’ve dabbled in buying cute keychains and pens stylized with colors that he wore often. That’s why, you reason with yourself, you’re suddenly very aware of how gorgeous he is.

The sunlight isn’t on either of you, but it casts a gentle, warm glow into the hotel room through the break in the curtains and it dresses Keigo beautifully, subtly. Makes his skin look sunkissed and golden. His hair’s a mess, wild and sticking in every direction, but somehow it’s fitting for him. You can’t stop your eyes from tracing over his face, taking in his proportions and then dropping to his lips, and you keep your eyes trained on him as you turn so you’re on your side, facing him. You think about it for a moment, stopping your already-raising hand, then tell yourself that in the times he’s fallen asleep while you two were hanging out, he’s never woken up, so he won’t now. 

You get one push of your fingers through his hair - as soft as you can - and when you refocus on Keigo’s face he is definitely awake. You freeze, absolutely mortified, while he only raises an eyebrow at you. He doesn’t move his arm from around your waist.

“Morning, sunshine,” and oh God, that’s what his morning voice sounds like? “Is this your way of telling me you’re actually into me?”

Heat flushes to your cheeks and you take your hand away, laughing nervously and way too loud for the morning. You try to think of anything to say that’s better than “sorry, I couldn’t help myself, you just looked so good” but nothing comes to mind and you stay looking down as best you can.

“Couldn’t help yourself, huh?” Keigo says, and you realize you said it out loud, God fucking - “Hmm, I don’t know. Sounds like you’re harboring secret feelings for me, sweetheart.”

You fight a losing battle against a smile and roll your eyes playfully, shoving Keigo away from you as he barks out a laugh. “Get out of my room, you’re not allowed in here anymore.”

Keigo doesn’t give his usual protests outside of a smothered “nooo” into the pillows after you get out of bed - how cute, you think to yourself - and gather your toiletries and clothes so you can shower. You yell an “out!” for good measure before you shut the bathroom door, waiting for a moment until you hear the door to his room shut.

Your shower is quick, making use of the high-end hotel body wash, and you half expect Keigo to still be in the bed when you walk out of the bathroom. You dry your hair with a towel and your phone buzzes on the nightstand. You unlock it to see a text.

keigo baby 🐦

Can i come back yet i miss you

You snort at his text, send back a “get in here, bird boy” but then realize it’s almost nine thirty and you need to get to the bakery. Keigo walks in and you rush to find your usual sneakers. When you finally look at him, sitting on the edge of the bed and tying your shoes, he’s got an eyebrow raised.

“In a rush?” He asks, and you send him a playful glare, but you’re already too late to think about banter.

“Yeah, I gotta get to the bakery,” you tell him, finalizing the knot on your shoe. You only brought a small bag with your things, and it doesn’t take long for you to gather them up. You take a quick glance around the room to make sure nothing’s forgotten, finding nothing that looks like it’s yours.

(Your eyes land on your dress from the night before, and you aim a look at Keigo that says “what should I do with that” and he tells you he’ll take care of it.)

“Okay,” you breathe, looking at Keigo. You feel the urge to kiss him on the cheek as a goodbye. “I’ll see you later?”

“I’ve got nothing to do until, like, noon. Do you mind if I see you to the bakery?”

You murmur an “of course not” with a smile and the two of you are off.

It’s a short trip - you take the subway to a station that’s only a few blocks from the bakery and walk the rest of the way. At one point Keigo slips his hand into yours, intertwines your fingers, and despite this now being a whole two-month (or something) endeavor it makes you choke just a little bit at how casual he is about it.

“Text me if you need anything,” you tell Keigo when the two of you reach the bakery, and he raises his eyebrows at you.

“Yes, I’ll be sure to call my fake baker girlfriend when I’m in a pinch with a villain,” he says, and you pout at him, pushing on his shoulder. He laughs, kisses you, murmurs “I’ll see you later” against your lips before leaving with a wink and a gust into the sky.

You open the door to the bakery and it’s only when you finally get to working fifteen minutes later that you’re sure you hadn’t seen any paparazzi around.

-

Keigo comes back about ten minutes after closing, when you’re in the dining area and setting chairs on top of tables. You’d given the employees working today the go-ahead to leave, since the last hour of business consisted of a couple coming in to ask for directions. The bell above the door rings and you turn your head, meeting Keigo’s eyes.

“Fancy seeing you here,” you say, mock surprise in your voice as you fold your arms over your chest and walk closer to him. “What can I do for you?”

“Ah, I’ve been craving your signature donuts for a while now,” Keigo replies, sending you a playful grin. “Think you could whip some up for me? I’ll even pay extra.”

“Sorry, hero, but we’re already closed.”

Keigo gapes at you and you snort before walking behind the counter to take the food out of the display case. “Come on, not even for your favorite hero? Your idol? Your boyfriend?”

You pretend to think about it for a minute, tapping your finger against your chin. “Hmm, I suppose I could make a quick batch…” you stare directly at him, point at him assertively. “But you’re helping.”

Keigo seems less than excited to do so, shoulders deflating at your words, but he walks behind the counter and into the kitchen after you without a complaint. In the back of your mind, you know you shouldn’t be wasting ingredients like this, but at the same time business has been really booming - you can afford to buy more. 

It’s fun, baking with Keigo. Even if he’s not keen on working and you definitely don’t trust him to measure liquids, he seems… eager to please. You tell him to mix and he does, to crack an egg and he does. The entire time he’s making jokes (some of them… really poor, painful dad jokes) and there’s a warmth in your heart.

Keigo pours out flour into a sifter over the large mixing bowl you have set up, but instead of batting the sifter against his hand like a normal person, he holds it like a pan and he’s sauteing something. You frown, taking the sifter from his hand (as gently as you can without spilling). “You’re doing it wrong,” you say.

“What, there’s a right way to…” Keigo pauses, and you raise an eyebrow.

“Sift?”

“Yeah, that - there’s a right way to sift something? Does it really matter?”

“...no,” you start, then furrow your brows. “But it’ll make a mess.”

“It doesn’t matter, you’re gonna have to clean up when we’re done anyways.”

An idea crosses your mind and you know, whole-heartedly, that it is probably your worst idea of the day for multiple reasons. But the knowledge of its consequences still doesn’t stop you from reaching into the sifter, grabbing a little less than a handful of flour, and spritzing it on Keigo’s chest.

“You’re just gonna take a shower when you get home, right?” You say, innocent as can be. You take another not-handful and rub it on his shirt. “A mess doesn’t matter.”

You look up at Keigo and his gaze says something like “this shirt was ten thousand yen” before he grabs his own handful of flour - not from the bowl or the sifter, but rather from the twenty-pound bag you opened specifically for him. He throws it at you and it lands in a puff in your hair, dusting you in white.

An unspoken agreement is passed between the two of you when you meet his gaze again - this is war.

In three seconds flat both of you are grabbing anything you can - flour, sugar, anything - and using them as weapons, throwing them in the general direction of the other. It’s gonna be a pain getting it out of your clothes, but you find you don’t really care. Milk is thrown from a measuring cup over your shoulder, lands on the floor with a splash mixed with your alarmed yelp. A single egg yolk hits Keigo in the chest, breaking like a water balloon on impact. Music you barely remember starting before the two of you got to baking plays like a soundtrack in a movie.

The Baking War of 2020 is short, though, and soon enough you both are panting and laughing as you stand in the kitchen covered in baking supplies. “Truce?” you pitch, wiping what you think is baking powder off of your eyelashes.

“Hold on,” Keigo says. He grabs an egg from the open carton on the counter, steps so the two of you are almost chest-to-chest. Your smile fades because oh, he’s really close, what is he doing?

He cracks the egg over your head. That’s what he’s doing.

You close your eyes, sigh, try to forget about your momentary panic as you feel the egg coat your hair. The yolk breaks somewhere between the top of your head and your eyebrow and you close one eye in hopes it won’t drip into it. “Truce,” Keigo grins.

“I hope you know that you helped waste my ingredients and you didn’t even get your donuts,” you mumble, pouting up at him. Keigo’s grin grows fond as he shrugs, uses his thumb to rub most of the yolk off of your forehead. You find yourself wishing that someone with a camera was around so you have an excuse to kiss him. 

“I’m rich, I can buy you more,” he says, and you really cannot stop looking at his lips.

It’s like last night - a part of you wants to shrug your heart pounding off as Keigo just looking good in all black and expensive rings, because anyone could tell he was easily the most beautiful person at the ceremony, but your heart is pounding just as hard - if not harder - right now and he’s wearing jeans and a t-shirt. It startles you, makes nervous butterflies erupt in your chest and stomach and blood rush to your cheeks, because you’re pretty sure this is -

Keigo’s phone rings and it makes both of you jump; you end up a solid three feet away from where you were before. It’s really hot in here, is it hot? It’s definitely hot. You need to turn off the heater.

“Shit,” Keigo curses to himself, and when you look at him he’s doing his best to brush off flour and sugar from his clothes with a rag. “There’s a villain downtown. I gotta go.”

You nod immediately, understanding, but you don’t trust your voice to speak that much. You swallow - gulp, really - and hope he doesn’t notice how jumpy you are. “Be safe,” you say, and cringe at how small your voice sounds.

“I’ll text you later,” is all Keigo tells you before he’s leaving through the back door of the bakery. You hear his wings as he takes off.

You don’t move for a moment, instead choosing to slump against the counter. Usually when you started liking someone, it was gradual, it wasn’t surprising or - or like this, you knew and it was fine, regardless of outcome. This didn’t happen to you. 

You sigh, close your eyes and try not to freak out too much about the very sudden and very scary realization that you like Keigo.

[selinakidreams]

year six at hogsmeade

ho ho ho! Merry Christmas! This fic is for the @haikyuucreationsadm​ secret santa event! dedicated to @ichorizaki ! sol, I hope this gives you the warm fuzzies! 

genre: fluff

warnings: none!

tags: harry potter au!, gn! reader, friends to lovers, yams is a lil over protective, fake dating (if you squint really really hard), yamaguchi’s pov !

a/n: no i do not hate the character i put as the slytherin (i’m not gonna spoil anything <3 teehee) i did it almost as an easter egg ...? like if you remember how yams reacted when he heard a certian thing come from his mouth,,,,,,, you’ll understand why- the clip was playing in my head on repeat while writing it lmao (super vauge ik but ah ha haa)

Both of your school capes sashae across the cold stoned floor as you two head to the one class you had together. The air was nippy; delicate flakes of snow danced around the sky until they landed on the ground.  Yamaguchi hugged his books closer to his chest in hopes to ease the lack of warmth. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw you nuzzle into your silver and green scarf that was already bundled up to your nose. 

‘Cute,’ he thought to himself- and when it comes to you, that word comes up in his head quite a lot.

 Far from being his favorite class, Yamaguchi Tadashi had to get used to the defense against the dark arts course. It was very… out there for him in the beginning. By pushing his limits, it created a wave of self-consciousness that would wash over him, resulting in the feeling of incompetence. Thankfully you were there to encourage and support him, just as you had been since the day you guys met. It was something about your strength and determination- he learned that through the years when you had an idea, a goal, or a project in mind, you would see it through. It was so inspiring to young Yamaguchi, the little boy constantly cowering away from anything that seemed too much. He would constantly be picked on and could never speak the words that clogged his throat but then you came along with a single snarky remark to end all of theirs. There was no time between the moment he words left your lips and when your hand slipped into his- pulling him away from any sense of loneliness he would ever feel again. You were there for all the big moments, from when he first got his letter to him getting sorted into Gryffindor to him trying out for their quidditch team. You two had been absolutely inseparable and neither of you would change a thing.

Yamaguchi cherished walking to class with you- the way you fit so well in the environment… he just couldn't take his eyes off of you. His favorite version of you was in the winter because you just looked so much cozier. The dark colors of your house heavily contrasted against the bright sparkling snow that reflected natural light into the corridor. The pink that tinted the tips of your ears made his heart skip a beat. If it hadn't been for you stopping by the opened door way, he would have completely missed the entrance to the classroom because of his… observations. He motioned you go in first, your eyes crinkled in thanks as you stepped inside and he swears that you caused a heart palpitation. 

It was your guy’s sixth year at Hogwarts and by far Tadashi's favorite Defense Against the Dark Arts course yet. The teacher, Remus Lupin, had such a way of teaching that it was not only fun and interactive, but also incredibly informative- the prime way for him to learn. He was so happy that Lupin’s tactics were sticking, this meant he didn't have to cling to you for help as he had previously; He was able to show you that he was capable of being strong on his own. Whenever you showed your delight at Tadashi’s progress, he only wanted to work harder.

“Hey so… after class, did you want to go to Hogsmeade and get something to drink from Honeyduke’s? It’s all snowy out and it’s the perfect weather for something warm and comforting.” You grinned as the both of you took your seats, conveniently across from each other, the only thing that separated you two was a slim isle way. Yamaguchi turned to you with a small smile curving his lips, “Yea, sounds good but just remember I have practice later so I can't be out too la-“ his last word was cut off by an obnoxious scoff from the keeper from the Slytherin quidditch team. 

“That was supposed to be our practice, you know. Daichi snatched up our usual practice time.” Koganegawa Kanji said snottily, judgmentally eyeing Tadashi up and down before turning his gaze to you. Suddenly there was a different type of look in his eyes, a bright one that showed that he believed he could secure all sorts of things… including you. “Those Gryffindors think they can take whatever they want, but I know what we're going to be taking. The win at our next game… which just so happens to be against Gryffindor. You’re going to be there, right y/n?” He practically beamed to you as he kept side-eyeing Yamaguchi. 

Before you could even answer- before he could even realize what was coming out of his mouth- your shy, kind hearted, wouldn’t-hurt-a-fly Tadashi rolled his eyes and said, “Yea they’re going, they’re going to be screaming out my name when I catch that snitch.” 

Your eyes widened as you turned to him with your jaw slack, the sexual innuendo in the forefront of your mind but when facing your freckled best friend, it looked like he couldn't believe he was able to even speak up. Yamaguchi is not one for confrontation or someone who initiates fights… but when things come down to you, he acts in ways he doesn’t recognize- for painfully obvious reasons.

“You better watch that mouth of yours, Yamaguchi, or else i might just have to zip it up.” The Slytherin hissed, getting ready to reach for his want but stopped in his tracks when his gaze caught sight of a scruffy man in his mid 30’s standing behind the frozen Gryffindor, hands in his pockets and a brow raised. 

“Now… I know you were not about to hex mister Yamaguchi inside of my class, right Mister Koganegawa?” Professor Lupin tempted, a small smirk danced on his lips with the unmissable glint of entertainment that twinkled in his warm eyes. 

The professor didn’t give the boy a chance to answer, instead turned around and headed to the front of the classroom while saying, “Return to your seat Koganegawa, I expect whatever hex you were going to cast was going to be a naughty one. Well ironically, today’s lesson is focused on learning to reflect those nasty curses…” The whole class settled in for the lecture as Tadashi sneaked a peak at the reaction that had been plastered on your face- boy, was it a cute one. Both of your lips curled in with saucer eyes, cheeks tinted a faint red, as if you were holding back a laugh that was forcing its way out. 

<♥︎>

After Lupin bid the class adue for the day, everyone went their separate ways; Tadashi held you close as you both headed to Hogsmeade, his arm draped over your shoulder as you leaned into him for warmth. The walk had been a comfortable silence until you spoke out your curiosity to break the ice, hitting him with the million dollar question.

“Hey, what happened back in Lupin’s class? That was.. odd.. of you to say.” You inquired. Normally when you catch Tadashi off guard or in a vulnerable state, a cute blush dusts along the apple of his cheeks and the tips of his ears. You knew you were robbed of the sight, the cold had beat you to it, a violent scarlet already bared his skin. 

He let out a sigh, the breath showing itself in the cold, before he muttered, “I’m just tired of him openly ogling at you like you’re some toy. It’s not cool.” 

You responded with a slight hum, the real reply bouncing off the walls of your brain: I can't believe we’re not together by now.

“Oh yams,” you chuckle as you huddle closer into his side.

<♥︎>

Passing under the grand Hogsmeade archway, he was grateful that there were barely any students about- this meant you guys could get your drinks faster and walk around the shops easier. With the antique green and pink building in sight, the beeline to the shop’s entrance was determined.

“Okay okay, let me guess…” you started as Yamaguchi held open the door for you to walk in, already eyeing the colorful treats that decorated the room, “you want a hot chocolate.” 

“And you want a hot strawberry tea.” Tadashi retorted with a smile.

“It’s almost like… we’ve known each other for years.” You say, your tone dripping in sarcasm as he watches your finger trace over the newest candy they sold. 

Sol, a sweet that’ll brighten your day! The container said, with a picture of what looked to be an edible ball of light. Supposedly, once it hits your tongue, it melts into the flavor you're craving most.

After inspecting the shelves around the store for any new and exciting treats, you both headed to the register where Tadashi placed the drinks order and fished out two golden galeons and five silver sickles. He snuck a glance at you admiring the brightly colored walls to make sure you weren't looking as he slipped the cashier the two packets of sol he stealthily grabbed and handed them three extra sickles. A sweet surprise for later.

Leaving the store, Yamaguchi watched the way your hands slipped around the warm cup, the tips of your fingers slightly intertwined. He wanted nothing more than to take your cup out of your hands and intermingle his fingers with yours…but he couldn’t, it would be crossing a line, wouldn’t it? Nevertheless, the image of holding your- probably- freezing hand was on his mind the whole time you two were walking around the village you knew all too well.

Deciding that it was pretty late you guys began to head back to the castle. The snow crunched underneath your boots with almost empty cups in your hands, you knew it wasn't going to take long before you’d be greeted by the back entrance of the castle. “‘Dashi… do you have to go to practice? I… i need help with Lupin’s coursework.” you stutter out, causing Yamaguchi to pause and turn toward you.

This took him by surprise, normally you were really good with your coursework, so for the roles to switch… something had to be off.  

“ y/n... You know I can't. The team said they really need me there.  Daichi would have my head if I missed practice. The game against Slytherin is so close and I really need to-” he cut himself off before he could reveal too much or get too annoyed, the flash of Koganegawa smirking flashed in the back of his mind. 

“you need to… what? I saw your last game and the way you soared through the air was incredible, it didn't seem like you needed to work on anything!” you pouted with damn wide eyes.

Tadashi tried to ignore the slight increase in his heart's beating pace, “aha well..” he said as he lifted his arm to scratch the back of his head, “we’re a team and they need me as much as i need them!” you stopped walking so he turned to face you.

He watched the small sad smile creep onto your face before hearing you mutter, “Jeez, when did my Tadashi become so popular?”

For Yamaguchi to not lean in and plant a kiss on your lips, something had to be holding him back... but there was nothing- if anything, you seemed to slightly lean in. 

He figured that you'd assume that the first move was going to be on your part, as it normally was when something serious would happen between the two of you but he wanted to prove to you that he's changed. He's not scared anymore. He has no reason to be. He’s learned so much about himself  throughout the years because of you. You're the reason he was the social person he was today. And he was the one that finally connects your lips with his. 

Due to the cold and dry winter, both lips are not as smooth as wanted but it doesn't stop him from deepening the long awaited kiss. He placed his open palms on your waist and his fingers gave you a small squeeze when he heard you sigh into the kiss.

When Yamaguchi felt your arms around his neck, he swore the world stopped turning for a second. The warmth that he was feeling was unmatched- this was warmer than any other winter coat had made him. 

When he pulled away, your arms stayed around his neck and he refused to let his hands leave your waist. 

“I uh-“ at this point Yamaguchi’s face was bright pink, yours being no different, “um I’ve wanted to do that for so long.” You said, cutting him off. 

Tadashi had to blink a few times, as if he was clearing his vision because what he just heard wasn’t possible. 

“N-no way…” he mumbled, looking at the ground next to you. Tadashi almost felt overwhelmed but one thing's for certain, the weight of needing to properly confess was only getting heavier so he gulped down his anxiety- as you had taught him so many times before- and brought his eyes to meet yours. 

“Y/n… I’m so in love with you. I have been for so long-”

Something red wizzed before your guys’ eyes, cutting off his huge confession. His eyes became wide at the hovering letter facing him. 

A howler. 

Before you could even raise an eyebrow, the letter opened itself in the shape of an origami mouth. 

“Yamaguchi, YOU ARE LATE FOR PRACTICE! WHY? WHAT COULD BE SO IMPORTANT THAT IT’S CAUSING YOU TO MISS PRACTICE?” the letter with daichi’s deep voice boomed around the empty of the woods. It began to look around, as if it could see the surrounding area- which was weird because typically howlers were only used to relay a (very loud and disappointed) message. When the envelope eventually faced you, the bottom of the mouth dropped and seemed to gulp.

“Ah.. i see.. Hi y/n… um,” the letter turned to face Yamaguchi before reminding him to go to practice and ripping itself apart. 

It was silent for a second, neither of you knew what to say. 

“I dunno but it almost sounded like Daichi wanted me to go to practice.” was the first thing he said. He watched your face contort from a small smile to a full out grin joined with a hearty laugh. 

“Let's get you to class ‘Dashi.” you said as you wound down from your laughing fit. Holding out your hand, the expression you gave him was one that he never saw from you before. The corner of his eyes crinkled with how genuine he was smiling as he took your hand, finally getting to entwine your fingers together as you guys headed to the quidditch field.

Ps. yes you did scream out his name when he caught the snitch- it didn't go unnoticed...

[muwur]

could i request an -oikawa-kuroo-suga- headcanons for a partner with autism/adhd? (autism and adhd in girls can be like, real hard to write if you dont have it or know someone who does so its 100% okay to say no wididnejfufhejrr) especially with like, being embarrassed about stimming in front of them or dealing with rejection sensitive dysphoria as a symptom 😗👉👈 thank yooooooooooou i owe u my liyef

haikyuu + s/o with autism/adhd headcanons

✧ hc’s ✧ for oikawa, kuroo, suga & tendou

❧ gn reader

✎ 1.3k words

a/n: i got u b! this is wut im here for, to help u feel a lil represented 😌 also ik u a special fren of mine so hehe here u go (happy birthday soon btw c; ily i hope you enjoy pls feel free to lmk if there’s smth youd like me to change ♡)! aLsO pLEASePLEAseplEASe anyone let me know if there is something I wrote in this that doesn’t sit well with you. as someone who does not have autism/adhd or has had much experience around people who do, i cannot portray it accurately. i do not intend to misrepresent anyone’s experiences. i love and care for you all; the last thing i want to do is hurt or offend anyone. thankfully anon + the internet were great sources for me to try to understand things better. tho that is not to say i can fully comprehend these conditions (cuz i never can unless i experience it myself)

n e ways, u r all loveli n i hope ur having an amazing day <3

just wanna preface that these bois would love anyone for who they are, and would do their best to support you in whatever ways possible <3

oikawa

✧ oikawa had been replying consistently to your messages before suddenly disappearing with no explanation,,,

✧ at first it seemed like nothing, but after several hours and follow up texts from yourself, you couldn’t help but think that maybe he just didn’t want to reply to you

✧ maybe he didn’t even like you anymore

✧ fear that every moment you shared together meant nothing settled in the pit of your stomach

✧ a while later you received a phone call from a very apologetic oikawa, who was explaining that he dropped his phone in the bowl of ramen he was eating and had to go to the store and wait for hours before finally getting a new one and--

✧ “a-are you crying? hey, what’s wrong? i’m sorry i was gone for so long. i’m here now.”

✧ will definitely come over immediately to give you reassuring cuddles

✧ “you mean the world to me. i never want to hurt you, and i never want to leave you, either.”

✧ makes sure to communicate very clearly with you to reassure you what he really means

✧ always reminding you how much he cares about you to reinforce in your head that he’s always going to be there for you

✧ does self-care days with you to destress because life is tough (*cue selfies with face masks and laying in bed for hours with each other’s comforting presence*)

✧ very quick to defend and protect you from people who hurt you. will ask, “excuse me, can i help you?” with a piercing glare that’ll get anyone to back down

✧ gives you constant reassurance about your stimming

✧ helps you interpret social cues and situations, gives you tips on how to handle your interactions with others and in under circumstances (as well as how to remain calm in your own mind)

✧ practices positive self-talk with you because he wants to help you see how great you are

✧ anyone who doesn’t see it is at a loss and is irrelevant, they don’t exist in oikawa’s book 💅

kuroo

✧ always educating himself so he knows how to be helpful

✧ unintentionally embarrassed you once by asking what you were doing when he caught you stimming once (which was when he found out about it)

✧ he was genuinely curious and meant no harm, and he apologized for bringing it up how he did

✧ however, he was glad he asked you so that he could be informed and reassure you that stimming is okay. he understands the importance of it and he’d prefer you have something to help you self-soothe. no judgment here, this is a safe space

✧ takes mental notes on all your favorite stims (verbal, visual, tactile, oral, proprioception, etc)

✧ even discovers new stims for you to try and buys you things to help with them (“here, this is a fidget spinner, y/n” or “you know they make CHEWABLE JEWLERY? they call it CHEWELRY. that’s genius. *typing on phone* what colors do you like, babe?” )

✧ encourages you to talk about your feelings and find additional coping strategies (“let’s try this neat breathing technique i learned about today!”)

✧ saves you from overwhelming situations (ie. pulling you out of a crowd, shutting down really noisy things, giving you space to clear your head and breathe)

✧ ruffles your hair as a sign of affection and calls you cute nicknames

✧ helps you study, make plans, and stay organized. tries to keep things interesting and interactive so you don’t lose interest/find it boring

✧ when you’re having an especially hard time focusing, he’ll pull you aside for a relaxing break like talking a small walk, watching an episode of y’alls favorite show, sharing a snack, playing a game, looking at memes or tik tok, chatting, etc

✧ makes sure to validate your feelings first and acknowledge your concerns before giving you his thoughts

✧ helps you view situations from a different perspective so you don’t assume rejection from others. when there is some form of rejection, he’s there to help you cope with the emotions 

✧ gives you a lot of hugs when you’re feeling dejected and lonely, reminding you he’ll never leave your side 

sugawara

✧ he’s quite perceptive, so when he noticed your unease, he asked you about it

✧ embarrassed but not wanting to lie, especially to suga, you admitted to being afraid of stimming around him and that you had been trying to hold back from it (even if it was hard)

✧ his eyes immediately soften as he tells you that there’s no reason to be embarrassed about it

✧ he just wants you to be yourself and feel comfortable

✧ learns about all of your stims. totally supports and normalizes them (however, if they’re ever self-injurous, he’ll do research and consult expert help to redirect the behavior)

✧ will absolutely take good care of you, he’s not sugamama for no reason

✧ a great listener! always hearing you out when you talk about your passions and interests

✧ wants you to express yourself however you can because he understands communication may not always be easy (reminder that communication and expression aren’t always verbal!)

✧ praises you and hypes you up all the time, going on about how there’s so much about you he loves

✧ has the most soothing voice ever. will whisper you sweet, reassuring words to calm and ease your mind

✧ will even just hum for you. lit rally anything. the suga juke box varies from lullabies to funky fresh songs

✧ very patient and will support you when you feel upset, frustrated, and/or have outbursts

✧ encourages you to talk about your feelings, but never pressures you. shares his own thoughts and feelings to help you open up, asks you thoughtful questions

✧ may be ultimate soft boi but gives anyone the look™ if they even just stare, and goes feral if someone’s ever rude to you in any way, calls them tf out and is #satisfied when he gets them to apologize

✧ also helps you study and be organized! good at creating schedules and encouraging you to stick with them

✧ constantly making sure you eat sufficient meals 😋 and get enough rest 😴 will nag you until you do

tendou

✧ MORE THAN HAPPY TO PROVIDE ALL THE STIMULATION YOU NEED, says it’s an opportunity to give each other mutual attention and bond

✧ but will also provide you an outlet for just relaxing and unwinding

✧ will talk to you for hours and hours about your favorite shows/movies/books

✧ BINGES THEM WITH YOU

✧ always treating you to your favorite snacks/flavors and discovering new things for you to try that will match your taste/texture preferences (only the best for u 😌)

✧ curious about how stims make you feel and asks you to describe those sensations to him  

✧ thinks it’s super cool when you can finish his sentences for him,,, cuz it’s like y’all on the same wavelength (you gellll)

✧ if anyone made you feel bad,,, o boy

✧ tendou would intimidate them to the point he would probably appear in their nightmares ffegjegk this is why you don’t fuck with this man or those who cares about 

✧ king of spontaneity and asks if you’re down to do the most random things

✧ “let’s buy a trampoline”

✧ *2 am* “you down for some fries and dip? and by dip i mean m i l k s h a k e s”

✧ of course he’ll never suggest things he knows you would be uncomfortable with. never puts you in a stressful situation and always makes sure you’re enjoying yourself

✧ invites you everywhere and makes sure you feel included. always by your side!

✧ squeezes your hand whenever he can tell you’re feeling anxious

✧ if you feel anxious about trying new things, he’s there to encourage you! recounts all the positive aspects 

✧ but if you’re really excited to try something, you bet he’ll match your excitement

✧ a very good listener. empathizes a lot with being misunderstood or seen as “different,” and is therefore a major source of comfort

✧ constantly showing you how to be yourself and that you shouldn’t feel ashamed about it, cuz that’s who he fell in love with

[igirisuhito]

Title: Afflicted Relationship(s): Kamukura Izuru/Komaeda Nagito Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito Rating: Mature Chapters: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / ? Chapter Summary: Monokuma has a fresh new motive! Monomi has been a bit too comfortable lately, so why not let the chains go and let the biggest secret they're trying to suppress manifest within the simulation under the guise of illness? Trigger Warnings: Vomiting, Illness, Personality issues Author’s Note: This fic is an AU of sdr2 chapter 3. Rather slow to update. Can’t tell you how long it will run for but if you like to keep track, I recommend subscribing on Ao3.

[Ao3 Link]

┈┈┈┈․° ☣ °․┈┈┈┈

"Hghh-GAH!"

My body shot up involuntarily, kicking me from my sleep. My breathing was laboured and sweat dripped down my forehead, was that a nightmare? As quickly as it had come, the nightmare had completely dissolved, feeling out of reach in the depths of my mind yet leaving a bad taste in my mouth

My body was hot, unusually so. It's so hot here on tropical Jabberwock Island but I was finally starting to get used to it. This heat was more...feverish. Have I come down with something? Can I even get sick here? Surely not.

…Can viruses travel across water?

Pocketing the thought in my mind to ask Tsumiki later, I buttoned my shirt and lifted myself from the bed. My body was heavy, exhausted, like I hadn’t rested in years. Vertigo made the floor deceptively uneven beneath my feet.

Oh god. Something is wrong.

I picked up my jeans from the floor and pulled them on, stumbling slightly as I tried to balance and get my legs in the right holes. I wrapped my tie around my collar and knotted it loosely before quickly slipping my sneakers on, not even bothering to redo the laces. I really should have had a shower with how sticky with sweat my skin was, but I really had to get to breakfast.

A weird thought floated through the back of my mind, it was almost as if I was…underdressed? This is what I wear every day…?

I stepped towards the door slowly. My heart was pounding in my ears, like I'd been running a marathon. Ohhh something was definitely off.

I turned the knob and stepped outside into the daylight. Crap the sun was bright. With slow steps, I made my way from the cabins to the restaurant where everybody usually met up.

My fingers glided along the banister as I stepped up the wooden stairs. This mundane task felt so much more difficult today. Upon making it upstairs and entering through the diner’s side entrance, I was confronted by the sound of loud sobs.

I assumed it was Saionji or Tsumiki, but the sobs didn't quite match those two. They were louder, less whiny. The sight that appeared before me was Owari leaning into Tsumiki's chest, bawling her eyes out and staining the nurse's white apron. It was such an unusual scene, I found myself glancing multiple times to see if it was actually happening.

"Ah! H-hinata! I-i-is there any ch-chance you could please give- give me a hand here?" The Ultimate Nurse stuttered out, clearly distressed and overwhelmed.

I attempted to step forward to help her with Owari, but my body was frozen, stuck in place.

Huh?

"My assistance won't make any difference to her condition."

A deep, unfamiliar voice spoke. I snapped my head around the room attempting to find its owner, but there was only there was only the three of us here.

Was that…? No, surely not. I don't talk in such a pretentious way.

"H-hinata…"

I stared at her with what I assumed was panic. Tsumiki flinched and was now clinging to Owari tighter than Owari had been clinging to her.

"Hey, what the fuck is going on here?" A familiar gruff voice broke the tension.

Kuzuryuu emerged from the stairs and looked towards the two girls clinging to each other desperately. He then glanced to me, expectant of an answer.

"At first glance it would seem the stress of Nidai's loss has finally tipped Owari over the edge and into despair, but it's rather something much more sinister."

There that voice was again! I could feel my lips moving and the words coming out, but there was absolutely no thought of these words going through my mind! The Ultimate Gangster appeared shocked as well.

"Wait what the fuck is wrong with you? You sound like fucking Komaeda."

"Huh? Who sounds like me?"

As if on queue, Komaeda arrived to the scene with Nanami in tow. The girl barely looked up from her device before sitting down at a table.

"Oi, say to Komaeda what you said to me!" Kuzuryuu barked at me.

Oh god this is going downhill so fast.

"I see no reason to repeat myself." Desperately seeking her help, advice, anything, I approached the dining table and sat myself next to the gamer girl.

Nanami paused her game to look at me with a wide eyed expression. "Hinata…" Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"Amazing! You've finally developed a personality fit for an Ultimate such as yourself!" Komaeda clasped his hands together excitedly. "What brought this on?"

It seemed whatever had possessed me and myself both agreed to ignore the Luckster.

Soon Saionji and Mioda were entering the room, Saionji giggling nefariously behind her small little hand.

"Hey guys look! Ibuki will do whatever I tell her to today!" Saionji yelled across the dining hall enthusiastically. "Ibuki! Go jump on Tsumiki!"

The colourful girl made a salute "Right away, Hiyoko-chan!" and threw herself at the Ultimate Nurse, who was still cradling Owari. Tsumiki screamed as she hit the floor with both Owari and Mioda on top of her.

"My my what's going on?" Sonia and Tanaka emerged from the stairs with a dejected looking Souda trailing behind.

"A new motive!"

A shrill voice shrieked excitedly. Suddenly, a familiar monochromatic bear popped up at the end of the dining table. Man, way too much is happening too fast, especially when I'm feeling like this.

"Motive?" Komaeda was the first to speak up, sounding almost excited.

"That's riiiight! The motive for the next murder! I've decided to inflict some of you with a bad boy I like to call 'Despair Disease!" Monokuma grinned a toothy smile as he addressed everyone in the room.

"I'm sure you've all gotten a good idea of what's happening by now, but I'll give you a nice little rundown regardless, just so you brainless bastards can understand." Monokuma pointed a furry paw at Owari.

"Akane Owari has Coward Disease."

Then to Mioda. "Ibuki Mioda has Gullible Disease."

Then to me. "Hajime Hinata has Apathy Disease."

Huh…me?

I was one of the motives…?

The words left my mouth too quickly once again. "There's no cure then, unless a murder occurs?"

The bear nodded. "That's right my hollow friend! Unless you take advantage of your 'no strings attached' state and kill somebody, you could be stuck like this forever!"

The room got suddenly hotter, forcing me to loosen my tie a bit so I could breathe. My eyes were becoming unfocused and everything was drifting away. The only sounds I could hear were Monokuma's rambles, Owari screaming about her fear of death, and the blood rushing in my ears.

Monokuma had made us the perfect candidates for a killing.

With this thought the world began to spin, even though I was still seated.

"Hinata-san…are you okay?" Chiaki's soft voice was distant as my head became unbearably heavy and the world slipped through my fingers. The last thing I felt was my forehead hitting the wooden dining table.

-

I awoke to the sensation of my muscles being stretched. Specifically, the ones in my arms.

"...ant…d...t...an…….'s t-...eavy…."

"urel….n…..t-m-t….ike…..you -an…ft another person, Souda!"

"I can't! It's not my fault he's so-"

"Ah! Hinata-kun!"

My eyes slowly fluttered open and I groaned. My head ached and there was sweat coating my body from head to toe. I could feel the hard floor on my back, pressing my shirt to stick damply to my skin.

A mess of fluffy white hair and sunken grey eyes was leaning into my gaze. The very sight of Komaeda made me want to close my eyes again.

The two boys were stood at either end of me, Souda still holding my arms up. His face was twisted into an uncomfortable look.

"You pick up heavy machinery almost daily, Souda. You're only feigning this weakness so that you don't have to carry me, right?" I mumbled, letting out an exasperated sigh and glancing back at the pink haired male.

Souda let go of my arms with a shocked expression, allowing them to fall to my side with a thud. "W-what?! I wouldn't do something like that to my soul-friend!"

I examined his expression closely, Souda wore a nervous smile. "How boring. It's not of any issue, I can walk by myself."

I set my palms down on the floor beside me and sat up. Komaeda reached out and uttered a "Wait" when suddenly I was overcome with an aching pain in my head. A small hiss escaped my lips and I faltered.

"It's so incredibly brave of you to try to move yourself, Hinata-kun! However, Tsumiki-san said you shouldn't try to in your state.” Komaeda spoke, concern apparent in his voice. “Souda and I planned to take you to the hospital, unless you don’t want talentless scum like me carrying you!”

“I don’t. I can take care of myself.” I had another go at lifting myself off the floor. My knees stuttered for a moment, but I managed to stand. My head was still pounding, but it was so much more tolerable than allowing myself to be carried.

Komaeda’s expression morphed into one of hurt, but his eyes gleamed with a whole different emotion; intrigue. “Hinata-kun…”

“Seriously Hinata! You could hurt yourself!” Souda objected, placing a hand on my shoulder.

I swatted his hand away and began to walk towards the stairs of the hotel. “Why are you two looking at me like that? You should have expected this.”

Komaeda and Souda stayed silent as I made my slow descent down the stairs. If my hearing was a little bit worse, I probably wouldn’t have heard the “stubborn bastard” Souda eventually muttered out.

I gripped the handrail tightly once I stepped off the last step, now finding myself in the games room. Son of a bitch- my head hurts so badly. It was almost as if somebody was shoving an ice pick through my brain. My body was still glazed with sweat and my eyes bleary. Whatever Monokuma had inflicted us with, it was pretty unbearable.

I know I’ve always been a prideful person, but even in this situation I should be completely fine with leaving my health in the hands of Tsumiki. Being the Ultimate Nurse, she would definitely be able to relieve my symptoms somewhat. But the very thought of seeking help seemed anything but of interest.

What is wrong with me? I thought Monokuma said I had apathy disease, not ‘huge prick’ disease. I felt like a completely different person. The very thought made my throat dry up.

On another note, what does apathy mean again? It means like...not caring, right? So I surely couldn’t be concerned about what Tsumiki thinks of me...I don’t get it. Something just feels incredibly wrong about putting myself in her, or anyone's, hands.

Shoving those thoughts down, I decided to make my way to the third island. The sun made my fever all the more excruciating and I found myself feeling faint, but I powered on anyway.

I crossed the bridge to the centre island, then took the bridge to the third island. I've never been so incredibly grateful for that red and white building to not be on the other side of the island.

I pushed open the door of the hospital building, finding myself in a small reception room. It was painted a dull blue-green colour, and bore a large white reception desk. There was also a small assembly of chairs, forming what I presumed is a waiting area. Kuzuryuu was lounged in one of these chairs in a seemingly uncomfortable position.

The Gangster jumped up the second he saw me, as it he had been awaiting my arrival. “Dude, did you fucking walk here? Did Komaeda and Souda ditch you?!” “Yes, and no. I left them at the hotel.” I explained, making eye contact with the shorter boy.

“Why the fuck would you do that? You’re sick as a dog! You passed out at breakfast, remember?!”

“I recall.”

“Then why’d you-”

“I don’t need to explain my actions to you.”

Kuzuryuu’s face twisted in a scowl, before he sighed and dropped all emotion from his face. “Man I don’t get this shit. Just go talk to Tsumiki okay? She’s in the first room treating Owari’s fever.”

I nodded and made my way into the hallway past the desk. There were doors on the left, labelled with numbers, patient rooms. On the right were windowed rooms with various…Monokuma displays?

Something about this place made my headache even worse.

I swallowed down the feeling and opened the door to the firsr room, stepping inside and quietly closing the door behind me. The room was filled with the loud sound of Owari sobbing her heart out. At this point, her voice was beginning to break, sounding hoarse and desperate. Tsumiki whirled around to face me, a wet rag in hand.

“H-Hinata! I-I-I’m glad you’re- you’re here. If y-you’d like, um, y-you can go rest in the second room. I’ll be- um, w-with you in a sec!” She stammered out, flashing a forced smile.

“I’ll stay there, as I assume the others will see me as a contagion risk, but I don’t wish for you to treat me.” I spoke sternly.

Tsumiki looked shocked, and then tears began to drip from her eyes. “I-I-I’m s-sorry! I-I didn’t know that- that I-I was in-in-inadequate in my n-nursing!”

I left the room before I had to listen to her cry any further, it was boring to listen to somebody act to so pathetically. As I stepped back out into the hallway, a rush of dizziness and nausea overcame me. I staggered slightly and leant an arm on the nearest wall, squeezing my eyes shut tight and trying to still the room around me.

Jesus Christ I feel like crap.

Light footsteps approached in my direction. I couldn't see who it was, but the sound of metal chain clinking against itself hinted as to who the footsteps' owner might be.

Komaeda's voice sounded cheerful. “Hinata-kun! Kuzuryuu-san told me you made it here okay! Ah, you look awfully-”

“I’m going to throw up.”

“Oh, I understand. It’s only natural for you to have that reaction upon running into somebody like me.” Komaeda laughed at his own self-deprecation.

“No, Komae-” I gagged on my words and quickly pressed a hand over my mouth.

Komaeda’s eyes went wide, followed by a soft “oh”. The boy then grabbed my wrist, pulling me into the second patient’s room. The room had a small ensuite bathroom, much alike most hospitals. I didn’t bother looking around too much, instead opting to make my way into the bathroom as quickly as possible. I spied the toilet and removed the hand from my mouth, opting to lean it against the cistern and sinking to my knees.

I heaved into the toilet, tears pricking at the corner of my eyes as my throat burned and my head screamed. This feeling was utterly...despairing.

After what felt like hours, my stomach had finally begun to calm down. I wiped my mouth with a groan and laid my face on the cool tiles of the floor.

“That’s kind of unhygienic, you know.” A breathy voice spoke from the doorway.

“It doesn’t matter.” I mumbled.

I heard Komaeda’s footsteps come closer, followed by a cool hand being pressed to my forehead. A quiet sigh escaped my mouth in relief.

“You’re incredibly hot, Hinata-kun.” Komaeda paused for longer than necessary, “Hang on, I’ll go get Tsumiki.”

He removed his hand from my forehead and I groaned out in annoyance. “Nooo.”

“Huh? Why don’t you want me to go get Tsumiki.”

“I don’t want to be treated.”

“Wh- why?”

“I want to see what happens.”

Komaeda laughed a wheezy little laugh. "Hinata-kun, normally I'd agree to anything you say, but an Ultimate like yourself shouldn't force yourself to go through something like this."

“Your opinion on the matter isn’t important, Komaeda. I’m just telling you not to get Tsumiki.” I stated firmly. “Besides, knowing the people here, it won’t be long before a murder occurs and I'm free from this.”

Komaeda tilted his head, looking somewhat intrigued by my statement. He had hardly reacted to my harsh words. “Not that I disagree, but why do you think that will be the case?”

I shrugged slightly and pushed myself up from the floor, now sitting up. The room was still spinning dangerously around me. “You’re all psychotic. That’s all.”

This statement seemed to tickle Komaeda, as he laughed and drew a big grin on his face. “It’s surprising how much more honest you are at the moment. Has your new apathetic outlook made you unbothered with hurting people’s feelings?”

I sighed. “You can sit here and philosophise all you like about the despair disease and its impacts. I’m going to go get a drink to calm this migraine."

I pulled myself up, slowly rising to my feet when a shocking pain pulsed through my head again.

"Ghuh-!"

My legs went weak and Komaeda reached out, grabbing hold of my torso to keep me from crashing to the floor below.

"You probably shouldn't try to do that." He muttered, gripping my waist tightly.

"No shit. Let go." I hissed, reaching out and latching on to Komaeda's shoulders.

The boy laughed heartily, making no attempt to remove his hands. "You tell me to let go whilst using my body to prop yourself up? You're awfully strange Hinata-kun."

Komaeda moved to my side and, removing one of his arms from my waist and now placing his hand over mine. "Please put your arm around my shoulder, we should just get you to your bed."

I sighed loudly in defeat and placed my arm around Komaeda's shoulder. The boy nodded and slowly started to move forward.

"I really don't need your help for this Komaeda."

"I know. Thankyou for allowing me to assist you, even if garbage like myself isn't worthy to."

I didn't bother to entertain Komaeda with a response. Instead I leaned more of my body weight onto the boy and groaned.

"It's alright, Hinata-kun, you're doing an amazing job." Komaeda breathed in a hushed tone.

The sound of his voice so close to me made me shiver, but it provided a momentary distraction from the pain.

My knees bumped into something hard and I looked up, realising we had made it across the room. Komaeda slipped his hand out from my waist and helped me lower myself to sit on the mattress.

"God I'm so hot." I murmured.

Komaeda pressed a cool hand to my cheek, making me sigh in relief. Using his right hand, he pressed his fingers into the knot of my tie, pulling it further undone from my neck.

"You should probably change into a hospital gown, it would at least be much cooler than wearing jeans." Komaeda spoke in a low voice.

He must be trying to help my migraine by being quiet. How…considerate of him?

"I...you're right." I sighed, bringing my fingers to undo the top button of my shirt.

Komaeda backed off, removing his hand from my face quickly. "Oh, Hinata-kun! Should I leave?"

I undid the rest of my buttons and shrugged off my shirt and tie. "Do what you want."

The boy nodded quickly, his cheeks were slightly flushed. "I-I'm going to get you a gown." And with that, he dashed out of the room, shutting the door gently behind him.

Weirdo.

I undid my belt and lifted my hips from the bed, carefully wiggling myself out of my jeans. They were awfully tight on my body, probably from the sweat of the fever.

I discarded my jeans and laid back on the bed with a groan. I probably shouldn't lie down yet, but I'm so goddamn sore and tired. The bed was hard and uncomfortable, but it was so nice to be off my feet for even a moment.

The door opened again and in stepped Komaeda, holding a folded up gown in his hands. "Ah, Hinata-kun, are you okay?"

"No." I mumbled, rolling over so I was now face-down in the pillow.

"I'm sorry, can I get you anything?" Komaeda spoke softly as a weight sat on the edge of the bed, most likely him.

"Water."

"Can do." The weight disappeared once again. "I left your gown on the bed if you want to change."

"Mhm." I mustered the strength to push myself up before scanning my eyes around the room. Komaeda was gone once again, I never heard the door click when he left, how strange.

I picked up the gown from the edge of the mattress. It was incredibly lightweight, but the linen was soft. I slipped my arms into the sleeves and pulled it up onto my shoulders. I then tied it around the waist loosely and sat back down on the bed.

Komaeda returned a few moments later with a tray holding a jug of water and a cup. He set the tray down on the bedside table and began to pour a cup of water.

"Are you feeling any better, Hinata-kun?" He quizzed, not taking his eyes away from what he was doing.

"I'm less hot." I mumbled.

"That's good." The boy turned to me, holding a plastic cup of water in his outstretched hand. I took it carefully with two hands, raising it to my lips and sipping.

The cool water felt like heaven on my burning throat. I squeezed my eyes closed tight and drank the whole cup, finishing with a pleased sigh.

"Ah, you probably shouldn't drink too fast, you don't want to make yourself sick again." Komaeda smiled and took the cup from my hands.

"That would be exciting though, wouldn't it? To be desperately seeking a release from pain only for it to make things worse? Actually, no, that's so incredibly predictable…" I babbled out, somewhat dazed and sleepy now that the ache in my throat was relieved.

"Haha, you're starting to sound a bit like me. How scary." Komaeda chuckled to himself, pouring another cup of water.

I slowly lowered my body back onto the bed, resting my head against the pillow. "Mmnn...it would be most unfortunate to have a mindset as boring as yours."

Komaeda gave a sad smile and placed the plastic cup onto the tray. "I think I'll go. I need to talk to Kuzuryuu-san about what everybody else is doing. Please call for Tsumiki-san if you need anything."

"Mmm."

The last thing I heard was the sound of Komaeda muttering to himself and the click of the door behind him. Fatigue took hold and I found myself falling into a deep sleep.

[steponmepinkjun]

I NEVER FINISHED MY STORY OMG. ok so i left off at being too proud to tell my friend she was right and kpop fucked hard. the difference between u and me is that i’m too good of a liar. too good. i kept up the “i hate kpop it’s cringe” facade for ALMOST TWO WHOLE YEARS, I SHIT YOU NOT. why? bc my dumb ass, extra ass, dramatic ass self thought “ok if i’m gonna have to deal with the embarrassment of admitting i’m wrong, i better do it in such an extra ass way it’ll knock ur socks off so hard that YOULL be the one embarrassed not me.” the original plan was to learn the entire choreography to bts dope, bc it’s the song that she told me to listen to and inevitably the song that got me into them, but later switched to bts fire bc i saw too many of those “choreo matches w any song” videos, and then her birthday party came up. and here’s the real kicker. her birthday is April Motherfuckin Fools. so it would be So Perfect for me to reveal my kpopism as a birthday present And a april fools prank in one. so i was Set on the Reveal being on april 1st, but the day rolls around and god that choreo is so fucking hard and i am Not a dancer. never have been. so i abandon that and go ykno what… i’ll do it Next Year. BC MY BITCHASS WAS LIKE NO THE MOMENT IS TOO PERFECT TO DO IT ON A NORMAL ASS DAY ITS GONNA BE ON APRIL FOOLS ON HER GODDAMN BIRTHDAY OR NOT AT ALL. a year rolls by, i’ve told most of our friends except her and they’re all in on it, i’d made so many subtle kpop references to her without her realising they were fully intentional and had too many scares where she almost figured me out but i lied my way out of it, and i’d given up on showing off with choreography bc i couldn’t make that shit look good. i’m not a dancer. i am, however, a rapper, and a damn good one, so i inhaled the agust d mixtape and decided i’d just rap the eminem of kpop’s anthem at her face. in korean. and change the lyrics at the end (if u haven’t listened to agust d, the bridge repeats “i’m sorry” a lot) to “i’m sorry i kept this from u for so long” and “i’m sorry i actually ult got7 not bts” (this was like the april after skz debuted ok i was holding onto got7 for dear life knowing full well skz we’re going to convert me smh) and the best part? she never saw it coming. her official present was a cd with a bunch of kpop on it but she thought it was just a personalised mixtape for her so i told her to play the first song out loud and she knew the song Instantly. it has a long intro so she was like “i guess u did listen when i recommended u this song!! i knew you’d like it since u like rap so much!!” and then i started rapping and i shit u not. she started SCREAMING. like the initial reaction was her jaw dropping and then instinctively covering her mouth but when i kept going and she realised i wasn’t fucking around she just fucking screamed like a banshee. at the end during the sorry bit i threw off my jacket to reveal a got7 shirt on the inside and she fell off her chair and started rolling around on the floor. needless to say it was every bit as satisfying as i thought it’d be LMAOOOO afterwards her ass was like “I CANT BELIEVE U HID THIS FROM ME FOR OVER A YEAR” and when i tried to explain my ego couldn’t take the “i told u so” she was like “you know i wouldn’t have made fun of you for it right? i would just be glad you’re not hating on my boys anymore” so basically i’m a big dramatic fool and she was always too good for me.

don’t mind the weird spaces here my ipad is being all fucky wucky w me rn. damn sad to hear ur sideblog experience didn’t go so well, i’d have shown u the cool side of the fandom if i knew 😤😤 leading u thru the cursed halls of kpop stan tumblr like a sketchy tour guide that’s actually 3 small raccoons stacked on top of each other like a trench coat, like “over here we have the fanfic writers that honestly need to publish a book, over here we have the gif makers that are responsible for my entire camera roll, if we take a quick swerve past the death threat anons and the twt fanwar screenshots - mind ur feet bub the 14 year olds were tryna make a grab for ur ankles - ah here’s the holy grail of shitposts, you might be here for hours, to the right we have the weird aussie side of the fandom that projects our childhoods onto chanlix but also all the members as we decide what their life in australia would’ve been like, and down there is a secret trapdoor to the blogs w endless random headcanons that will make you laugh, cry or blush depending on if the author woke up and decided to choose violence today. enjoy your Stay!” but then again i’m not so active on tumblr anymore (ngl you’ve become the highlight of my tumblr experience these days, interaction wise,) so maybe all my Local Hotspots are inactive now. i know a bunch of them are, it��s sad. “i don’t fw stan twitter for the same reason i don’t hang out in meth dens” oop. guess i’m a meth addict. no but i get u i rly do, it’s a hellhole out there, but the fact that things get shared and spread a lot easier than on tumblr and how short most things have to be (therefor keeping up w my adhd attention span without having to resort to the mental torture that is tiktok, with the added bonus of not always needing headphones.) that i just. couldn’t leave if i tried. maybe i should try being active on tumblr again but it’s a dying site in comparison.

“their music doesn’t consistently hit for me as much as skz” i’m sorry we can’t be friends anymore. what. what. you don’t dramama ramama ramama hey? you don’t feel a little jealousyyyyyy, naega anin? you don’t shoot out, shoot out, shoot out, or aremdaeun love killa love killa? you can’t be your hero du du du du du du du du du dududu? u disappoint me. literally like everyone i know who likes skz music likes mx music like it’s a rite of Passage. they’re kindred spirits, monsta x music is like skz’s music’s cool but mildly heterosexual older brother. neither of them know what a bad song is it runs in the family. and both their music runs in my VEINS. whenever i describe my music taste they’re always the first two that come to mind, skz being my number 1 bc they are my best boys but mx bc of the Flavour. pls listen to the entire the code album then get back to me 😤🙌 ok but fr ur so right they are 7 of the finest men i ever seen (yes i say 7 bc i’m including wonho cause he deserved better and i’ll die on my ot7 bullshit.) like don’t get me started on them either LOL i LITERALLY downloaded that one insta video of changkyun working out his back n arm muscles w his tattoo showing bc i needed that shit saved for Science. they could do Anything w me like frfr. yes vixx is the bdsm contract group i’m telling ya they wildin. or at least they were. it’s been years since their last comeback idk what they’re doing anymore tbh. and yeah that makes sense, savouring the hyperfixation i feel it, but also i’m so attached to skz that i never let it die. like i hyperfixate on other things and other groups but i will Always go back to skz cause they’re my homeboys. hell, they’re my home. being a predebut stay i’ve spent more time w skz than most of my actual family members at this point. but that’s just me you do u boo xx just know that if ur anything like me ur never letting go once skz it’s been my longest lasting fixation cause they hit like Nothing Else Do. ik i’ve already said that but i cannot stress it enough. they’re really special. i’m gonna stop here before i get all sappy and emotional bc i really love those boys so fucking much and i don’t drop the L bomb often. SIDE NOTE I WOULD LIKE TO SEE UR LIST OF GROUPS RANKED BY THORSt. i need to judge ur Taste. and omg cat&dog is such a guilty pleasure song bc the lyrics make me cringe so much bc while pet play can be fun they be doing it in more of an “i’m an innocent soft dogboy uwu” kinda way that just Does Not Sit Right with me. it comes back to the objectifying of asians that asians themselves don’t help in industries like these and maybe i’m looking too far into it when rly it is just wholesome n cute or maybe they are into some pet play shit idk idc i will bop to the song regardless but i will not acknowledge the lyrics nope.

YOURE RIGHT THO SKZ’S OPENNESS IS IN FACT, A BIG DEAL, i’ll grab them for u if u want but i found these twt threads of skz supporting the lgbt community and i just felt a special kind of happiness man like sure the delusional part of me likes going “haha they’re gay” bc my brain likes to imagine them as my polycule of mlm boyfriends bc sometimes thats what gives me the serotonin to get me thru the day ok don’t judge but also bc it’s nice knowing that yes i’ll never know them personally, but at least i can support them knowing they’d respect my gender identity and my pronouns, they’d respect who i choose to love, and that’s already more than the general public can say so shit, it is special! it’s special that they don’t treat being cishet like the norm - they constantly remove gender from their songs and speech entirely, they don’t assume all stays are female anymore, we don’t talk abt the babygirls incident cause we got babystays in the end outta that ok, and it’s just. so refreshing and important to me bc i can’t get that anywhere else!! like my semi ults are the boyz and while i love them very much and there’s no way all 11 of them are straight i refuse, i do get just a little bit sad whenever they she/her their fandom by default and call them their girlfriends n shit even tho i do still identify as a girl, i’m also genderfluid/nonbinary/transmasc, and i have a very love/hate relationship w my womanhood and rarely use she/her pronouns, cause it’s like, do you not see me? see us? the ones who aren’t cishet women? i mean i know kevin does bc he congratulated a fan who came out as nb but it’s just not the same as the openness we get w skz. like how do i trust cishets i could be supporting them as a queer person when in reality they’d call me a slur. what would i know, behind the screen? so it’s so good that skz go the extra mile to make it a safe space for everyone. this is already long enough i will reply to the second half of that ask in another message… tomorrow cause it’s 1am and i’m tired gn -felix bi anon

I'mma have to start putting these under a readmore so that i don't absolutely make everything who is still following me for some reason go totally fucking insane 😂

NDJDHWJJAHFNAKBSJSBFBHHDBDNAJD YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE FACES I WAS MAKING READING THIS, I WAS FUCKING CACKLING AND GASPING EVERY OTHER SENTENCE SO HARD THAT I SCARED THE CATS NDJWHSHSB the fact that you went "oh you want me to get into kpop? Give me a hot minute, and I'll give you a whole ass private concert for free" biduehsjdbd biiiiiiiiiiitch you're a fucking ICON, I stg I could NEVER 😂 (and not just because I couldn't find a tune if you gave me a printed set of Google maps directions and that I embody the steriotype that white people can't dance, like my sister kept sensing me tiktoks of the whole "dance like a white girl" trend going lmfao look it's you and eventually I was like "sis please this trend has me feeling like being white is a disability and these mothafuckers are being ableist 😭 also I could NEVER be that on beat so yall ain't even doin it right 😭😭😭😭"). Tbh if I told one of my friends (lol what friends, i got jokes) to get into Skz and they showed up at my bday and performed the entirety of I Got It I would simply shower them in money and go "aight everyone else go home, you are no longer needed, you are being laid off, your position has been eliminated, we're downsizing, the company is moving up and you're moving out, you are not qualified for this role any longer, best of luck with future endeavors" 😊

I think part of the reason I can't deal w Twitter is the exact reason I refuse to leave tumblr, in that I've been on tumblr since 2006 and twt since 2008, and tumblr literally has not changed at all, not even a little, whereas going from the early days of twt where there were no corporate sponsorships or ads and you had to manually copy and paste someone's tweet and @ them to retweet it, to how it is now, like 90% ads and showing me shit from the timelines of people I don't even fuckin follow n whatnot, it's just not enjoyable. Idk how anyone finds anything on twt, it confuses and frustrates me because I am old and have not adapted well to technology changing 😂 But arguably, the skz fanbase doesn't want me on skztwt anyways so like it works for both of us lmfaooo. I am old and cringey, and also still think of twt as stream of consciousness whereas tumblr is your teenage bedroom where you can decorate the walls with anything that interests you. I do really love the nonsensical kpoptwt shitposts tho fhshsbdjjss like it is a very specific flavor of mental instability that I enjoy immensely 😂 OH and also I initially misread part of that and thought you were saying you actually irl do meth and I was like 😳 WHAT DO I SAY TO THAT. HOW DO I HANDLE THIS. Like how do I express like "I wasn't being judgy of people who use substances cause I've been there but I was just being insensitive 😳" And then went back and reread it and was like WHEW, IM JUST AN ILLITERATE FOOL 😂😂😂😂 ejeywhdhrhjwbfbdjshdhdhd I spent like an hour bwign like "IS THE REASON WE GET ALONG BECAUSE THEY'RE ON METH???? WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS INFORMATION??????" hrhehshe I am literally a fuckin idiot it's fine

It's not that I don't fw them, it's more like... Okay so like there is no situation in which I am going to skip a skz song if it comes on shuffle. You will not ever catch me NOT in the mood to listen to Sunshine, if God's Menu comes on we are THROWIN the meager amount of booty meat I got hither and thither, I could be in the happiest mood of my life but if Ex comes on I will stop to SOB. And I'm not like that with most music, so mx just falls into the category of "there is a time and place." Idk why but it just doesn't forcibly grab hold of my heart and ass the way skz always does. I really don't WANT my skz fixation to ever end, but I know that eventually it'll stop giving me dopamine bevause my brain is my worst fucking enemy 🙃 like my arcana fixation is to date the longest running hyperfixation I've ever had, going on almost three years, and I used to not be able to spend every single second of every day thinking about Asra, but now... I just feel nothing when I look at arcana stuff. As you can probz tell by the fact that I hardly post arcana anymore 😂 So I know that eventually all my happiness will end, it always does, I can never stay just as obsessed with something as I was for long. I CANT SHARE THE LIST BECAUSE I DONT *HAVE* TASTE YET 😭 I'm basically just compiling a list of any group someone tells me I should look into, ranked by how strong the kitty purred upon googling pics of them 😂 My mom read my ass to FILTH over txt lmfao she was like "they're not that adorable. Maybe your standard for adorableness has gone down with You Know Who still on hiatus 🤔" bfjwhdhd like MOMMAAAAA THE LIBRARY IS CLOSED 😂 she attacks me any time I even hint at stanning other groups, she is a skz purist and stans skz only, unofficial Momma Stay of All Stays keeping me in check lmfao.

I feel like skz really do follow thru on their promise that they're a safe space for stays, it's nice to see that they hold space for anyone and everyone in their fanbase and do it in a really simple and elegant way, I feel. Like they never make it seem like "okay here are the fans and here are the token weirdos that were only recognizing to make a buck off of them" the way a lot of artists make it feel like 😑 like they don't go out of their way to act like it's some revolutionary act to do the bare minimum of not shitting on certain parts of the fandom, if that makes sense. They feel very "yeah, of course we love all our stays, this is a welcoming space for literally anyone, that's how it should be, that should be normal," instead of like "Hi fans we love you 😊 and special shoutout to you ell gee bee tee folk, make sure to buy my rainbow merch after the show!!!" you know? Like, they're the friends who would never make you feel weird or different for some shit, the friends that take the attention off you if something they know ur sensitive about comes up, instead of weirdly snapping at whoever brought the unfomfy thing up which ruins the mood and makes you feel tiwce as bad, yk? They just give off this vibe that they, and the space they create with their music, is just a genuine and chill place to be and hang out and relax and bond. I feel like they'd be the friend group that is so goofy and sweet and silly and accepting and lovely and always makes you feel loved and excited to be alive 🥺 They are all good noodles 🥺🥺🥺

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Drev Conlang (Current)

Important Sounds

Ж = zh   (Azure)

Ц = ts    (rats)

 Rules

Conjugations

If the verb stem ends in a consonant

i

ash

ish

eesh

ich

aж

 Hastat = to walk

Hasti = I walk

Hastash = we walk

Hastish = you walk

Hasteesh =you all walk

Hastich = he she it walks

Hastaж = they walk 

 If the verb stem ends in a vowel

ik/ki

nash

sh

neesh

ch

ж

 Adjective Endings

An = adjective ending where the noun ends in a vowel (Dead gender)

Een = adjective ending where noun ends in a consonant (Living gender)

To make something  Loud - louder add the opposite ending to the end of the word

Gran = big granan= bigger Graneen = biggest

Adverb endings

Dee

Tee 

Possession

Kee = added to the end of a noun 

Gender

Nevermind no gender

Word order

Subject  verb  predict   I the dog see

Adverbs go before verbs       I the dog slowly ran-towards

Adjectives go before nouns    I big dog ran-towards

Prepositions NOT postpositions  I around the big dog ran

Plurals

to make a word plural just repeat the last syllable the second time   жyaka = animal жyakaka

or repeat the word from the last vowel                             dжal = drev s  dжalal = drev pl

if the word is short just double it      Lhus = tree   Lhusus = trees/ forest

Tense

Past                   da

Present

Future              ta

Add these before the verb, if there is none present, it is assumed that you are speaking in the present

Alphabet

T

tch

Kah

Eh or e 

I

D

Sh

S

A

Ee

K

Ch

Z

L

Uh

G

Ts   ц

Zh      ж

ya

ha

N

Ng

r

Zha

J

 Current words

Extras

Jee = not ( it is not)

Ha =towards = added at the front of a motion verb

Na = away from = added towards the front of a motion verb

Neh = reverses a word. (similar to not but has to be tacked onto an adjective)

 Pronouns

 zha = I

tsа = you

 Nee/na = he/ she / it use either living or the dead to match the noun that goes with it

Jya= we/us

tsana = you all

 Dazha = they/them

 zhаk = My/ mine

tsаk = your/ yours

Neek/nak = his hers her it its

Jyak = ours

tsanak = all yours

Dazhак = they/ theirs

Zhazhe = myself

Tsatse = yourself

  Nouns

Dzhal = Drev

 Dzhalzheen = soldiers/ footmen/ warrior

 Dzhalak = drevling

 Dzhalka = kit/ baby

Dzhatal = city 

Dzhtalka village

Dzhatatal = house/ home

Dzaga = body

Dinar = fire

Daeen = here/there

Daleest = ambush/ surprise

Dargranla = volcano 

Dadik = soemthing 

Dazhit = disgrace (also an insult like calling someone a bitch) 

Deeng = food

zhankeel = honor

zhyaka = animal

zheeng = war

Zhin = battle / conflict

Zhineech = battle pair/ married couple

Zhit = hate

Zheedazh = sibbling

Zhjea = sacrifice 

 Lata = rock

Lana = help 

Latinar = ash 

Latahag = armor

Luhs= tree (has the same u sound as in the name Gus)

Luhsuhs = trees / but in this case also means forest, they make no distinction

Ladinar = lava

Luhsad = branch 

Lachi = focus 

Latinash = cynder wind 

Lodgeeda = clan leader

Lodnajasta = Sentinel 

Leen = pride

 Shash = air

Sheedal = danger

Anina = Spirit

Anizhal = 

Anika = a feeling

Anicheel = day

Anitsa = eye

Ani = name

Anijee = fear

Anirana = blood

Anintal = citadel 

Atatch = skill

Aleesh = beginning 

Adon = circle

 Rana = water

Ranatatal = lake

 Tana = sky

Tanana = alien 

Tak = father

Tatal = place

Tatin = future

Tanatal = space

Tanakal = ship

Tanadar = meteor / comet ( all fiery flying objects) 

Tachal = group

Tach = clan 

Tahajeea = armor 

Tin = this/ that 

Tizhit = shame

Tinchal = today 

tsag = ball/ orb

Tsanika =belief 

Tsata = gift  

Tarik = teacher 

 Nak = mother

Nid = length

Nizad = leg

Nakt = night

Nakt- sal = dark season 

Nehchal =moon

Nehgrada = spark 

Nahatach = incompetence 

Nadzhalak = daughter

Needzhalak = son

Neenez = cloud 

Negcheel = star

Nehlata = thing

Nasash = wind

Naranatal = river

Nang = middle

Nizjahad =foot 

Chal = sun

Chahas = time

Cheel = light

Chat = word

Geeda = general

Gahan = all  (acception noun adj and adverb) 

Gaha = part

Hazad = moss

Hakanin = life

Hakasash = breath 

Had = arm

hazh = flesh

Heech = pair

Grananin = world 

Granla = mountain

Gradinar = wildfire

Jaja = end

Jahad = hand

Jial = guard

jirha = cut, wound

Jeeana = corpse 

Jeea = death 

Jeerana = dessert 

Eeda = leader

Eedacheel = (their northern star’s name) the lead star

Eeaz = a worry/ a concern 

Enadzhal = ancestry 

Etat = fur

Kat = question

Kan = nobility 

Kaneg = year

Kasa = thought

Kazna = galaxy 

Kalal = metal 

Kazga = cripple (also an insult like idiot or moron but has connotations as negative as retard (Forgive me, but that is the closest comparison) It is a very rude word. 

Kahchat = to break 

Ranasash = storm

Rantana = rain

Ranad = drink 

Ralata = soil 

Rekaz = knowledge 

Sal = season

Sakasa = mind

Shanajeea = sickness 

Stadik = anything 

Verbs

Hakasat = to breathe 

 Hastat = to walk

Hasinsat = to run

Hajat = to come

Hakastat = to exit

Hazhnat = to bother someone/ annoy

 zheengat = to fight

zhinat = to strike/hit

Zhitat = to hate

zhalat = to have

zhegingat =to want

Zhjeanat = to sacrifice 

 Cheeyat =to speak/say

Chezenat = to choke 

Chatahaat = to work 

Chazat = to make 

Cheekat = to like

 Jastat = to see

Jajat = to end

Jastanat = to predict

Jakazat = to recognize 

Jedanat = to trade/ exchange 

Jeeajat = to stop

Jeeanat = die

Jeenhalat = to exile 

Jezhinat = to block 

Jekat = to look 

Jiahat = to guard

Jishat = to secure/ to lock 

Jirat = to pull

Jirhaat = to be wounded/ injured/ hurt

Adonhajat = to wonder

 Ajat = to go in general

Anikat = to feel

Anijeeat = to be afraid of / to fear

Aninat = to live

Anintalat = to worship 

Anidonat = to wake up

Ardanat = to open 

Aleeshat = to begin

Nadanat = to fall 

Najat = to go away from/  to leave

nahasinsat= to run towards/ charge

 Najastat= to watch

Natahaat = to take

Natrekat = to learn

Neevant = to answer 

Neehahajat = to drift

nehanat

Nitsat = to happen/ occur

Nizat = to stand

 Darat = to do

Dalistat = to surprise / ambush

Daeenat = to stay 

Deengat = to eat

Dichanat = to thank

Dakat = to be ready/ prepared

Kahlat = to continue

Kahyaat = to happen

kahchat = to break

Kuhlat = to curse 

Kasat = to think

Katat = to ask a question / to question 

Kalsan = difficult 

Tadat =to be

Tatazat = to be happy 

Tanat = to fly 

Tahaat = to give

Tahajeeat = to hold 

Tarikat = to teach 

Tehat =can

Tsahastat = to enter

Tsanikat = to believe

Tsajat = to show

Tsadeengat = to cook

Tizhital = to be ashamed

Shkahrat = to prepare

Shazat = to use

Shanajeeat = to be sick/ to get sick 

Sdarat = to try 

Sesanat = to be sorry 

Gingat = to need

Gadat = to find

Geeniat = to return 

Geedanat = to lead

Rekazat = to know

Rantanat = to rain

Ranalat = to melt

Ranadat = to drink 

Lachidat = to focus 

Luhtat = to remember 

Lanat = to help 

Leenat = to be proud 

Eedat = to be in charge of

Eeazat = to worry 

Eeneenat = to understand

 Adjectives

 tsakan = which

Tizhitan = shameful 

Atatchan = skillful 

 Nidan = long

Nehgran = small

Nehdinanian = cold

Nehalan = without

Nantan = new

Neyahan = old

Neahasan = slow

Naktan = dark 

Dadan = falling

Deengan = hungry 

Ditan = so 

Daklan = amazing 

Nwadan = hard

Jenantan = old

Jeean = dying 

Jashajan = similar/ same/ resembling/ like

Yahan = good/well

Yahanan = better

Yaheen = best/ great

Yigan = every

Dinanian = hot

Dichan = thankful 

Dalistan = surprising 

Gran = big

Granan= bigger

Geenian = returning

Gingan = needy 

Tacheen = many

Tatazan = happy

Tsanikan = believable 

Tanan = flying 

Ladan = very 

Latan = rocky

Hasan = fast

Hijan = colorful / beautiful 

Ranitanan = rainy 

Ranan = watery 

Ranadan = drinkable 

Chalan = Sunny 

Adan = easy

Ardan = open

Aninan = living

Kalatan = hard (as in a texture: hard stone)

Kanan = noble

Kaan = only

Kuhlan = cursed

Kahchan = broken

Kazgan = crippled 

Sheedan = dangerous

Eeazan = worried

Eeneenan = understandable 

Etatan = furry/ hairy 

shanajan = sick 

Shazan = useful 

Stadan = any

Zhankeelan = honorable

Colors

Hija = color

Hajtan = blue

Dinhijan = red

Dihijan = purple 

Dichijan = orange

Jeehijan = black 

Luhijan = green

Chalijan = yellow

Naijan = white

Nadijan = pink

Latijan = grey 

Halujan = turquoise 

Adverb

 Atatchtee = skillfully

Neahasandee = slowly

Nehatatchtee = poorly 

Prepositions

  La = on

Lad = about

Lariz = on top of

Ladka = beside 

Dat = before (has a meaning in time, not temporal) before we go. not he stood before me

Dana = above 

dal= up

S = with

K = to 

Hak = from 

Hakniz = below 

Ts = in 

Adonha = around

Riz = upwho

Niz = down 

Keed = before (temporal meaning) 

Tsil = inside

Time words

Tasahas = during 

Neeka = never 

Zhakaz = ago

Gahas = forever

Conjunction 

Ee = and

J = but

Tasan = also (irregular) 

Dit = so

  Question words

 Tsaee = why

Tuhn = when 

 Gda = where

Lod = who 

 Nin = what

Dach = how

Others b/c I am not a linguist

 Nahang-ta = because

 Je = no

Yid = yes

Dee = would

Teeya = for ( the benefit of a person or animate object)

Laza = for (used with anything inanimate) 

Deri = re 

Ena = pre

Kayad = should 

Huka = than 

Juhkee = then 

Ene = if

Jej = too 

Numers

Ka = one

Hee = two 

Heeka = three

 Important Phrases

Ts zhin = goodbye (Direct translation is, in battle deriving from I will see you in battle

Nezanin = of course

[verstappenist]

Green | Queen

A/n: FINALLY its here, my valentines gift for @rushingheadlong​ !! i’m so so sorry darling that it took so long but it’s here! and i hope you like it! Happy very belated valentines day!!💜

It does not fit into one era exactly? like it’s supposed to be early queen days where they’re still in college, mixed with green hair roger from the 80? like it’s all a bit messed up, im so so sorry for that😅

Word count: 698 (smol ik and i’m sorry)

Warnings: None, just bad writing (i rewrote it like 10 times and im still not completely happy with it tbh)

“Okay listen guys, did you know that every single day sexual intercourse takes place 120 million times?”, Roger just randomly threw into the room, taking you all by surprise.

It was unusually quiet in Brian and yours flat for a friday evening, especially with all the other boys over. So it wasn’t really surprising that Roger tried to break the silence that formed between the five of you.

“Why am I not surprised that you know that?”, you answered the blonde from your spot in the kitchen attached to the living room.

“Our biology professor told us today, and I just wanted to get a conversation started is that now illegal or something?”

“Of course not darling, but keep your concentration on Scrabble”, Freddie told the younger man across from him, his tone playful but serious at the same time.

After this little interaction between the three of you, John and Brian observing from the couch, it got quiet again, only the occasional bickering between Roger and Freddie and the stupid love songs playing on the radio interfering.

Normally on a day like this it would only be you and Brian, probably doing all the chores forgotten during the week. Freddie would be with Jim, but he went to visit some school friend from out of town, John would be with his long-term girlfriend Veronica and Roger… god knows what he’d be up to.

“Guys would you mind helping me out with this?”, Roger asked after dinner, getting two packages of blonde hair dye out of his bag.

Of course he’d have something planned, there was no such thing as a peaceful night in this household.

The other boys looked at him confusion written all across their faces. “But Roger, you’re already blonde?”, John stated taking one package to examine it.

“I know, but i want it lighter and brighter!”, he pouted. “Now, are you helping me or not?”

Soon after you, Roger and Freddie were piled into the small bathroom of your flat. Brian and John decided that it was a bad idea and retreated into the living room.

“Okay how are we going to do this?”, you asked unpacking the dye.

“It’s not that hard! We just put this in his hair and wait!”, Freddie explained very vaguely, already putting the colour into his hair.

And that’s what you did, but well, it didn’t exactly turn out the way you wanted. Roger’s bleach blonde dream turned into a seasick sort of green.

“What have you done?! My hair-“, the now green haired man cried out.

You had never seen Brian and John move this fast. Both wanting to see how much damage has been done.

“How are we going to fix this?! I can’t walk around looking like this!”, Roger was close to losing his mind.

“You could shave it?”, you proposed.

But you should not have suggested that, three out of four were looking at you as if you were insane, the fourth like he’s about to strangle you.

“Wait! I just recently read one of those magazines Veronica always buys and apparently it you wash your hair with ketchup or tomato sauce it will like cancel out the green, this happens a lot!”, John suggested, trying to calm the tension now filling the bathroom.

"Yeah no. I'm not taking advice from you. You pronounce the 'g' in 'lasagna'!"

“Just take a shower, try to wash it out”, Brian, always the voice of reason, interrupted the bickering of the rest of your little group. Sighing Roger gave in, shoving you out of the bathroom.

In the meantime you and the other boys started another game of Scrabble in the living room, killing time until Roger was done.

About an hour and a half and probably around ten showers later he emerged from the bathroom, hair damp and still green.

Throwing himself down on top of Brian, John and you he let out a groan, clearly annoyed. “Come on, Darling, you still look great!”, Freddie tried to cheer the man up, ruffling his hair. “Kind of like an alien..” - a chorus of “Brian!” and a glare from Roger interrupted him. “Okay, fine. It’s not that bad.”

[troutpopulation]

It Becomes A Chain (Sigma x reader) pt.2

A/N: pardon the terrible Dutch I used 100% Google translate for that. Also yay! Siebren is actually in the story now!

Present day

  "Alright! So, do we have any requests? Roses, bonsai, squash, anything you see." Your students were deep in thought, until one of them raised her hand.

"Yes, Darcy, go for it." The girl put her hand down.

"Can we do sunflowers today?" She asked. You nodded, smiled, and opened the drawer from the plastic shelf that sat on your countertop. It was labeled with a small card of a sunflower and the name printed in swooping ink. You plucked from it a single seed and pressed it between your palms. It took barely a moment but you felt a sprout. A small plant grew from your hands, rapidly unfurling into a full grown flower in your grasp. You gave it an approving smile before you plucked it from your hands and dropped it into the vase. The students watched with smiles. No matter how many times people saw you do this, it was always something to marvel at, like a magic trick. An incredibly practical magic trick that had its uses in feeding yourself, others, selling flowers, and in this case, drawing a still-life of a sunflower.

"Alright, we're going to draw for mm... Lets go for thirty minutes before we move on to water color." Despite all the jobs your powers have gotten you, you never abandoned teaching art workshops in your home. In fact, you found this was the perfect way to integrate them both. Shortly after your first encounter with your newfound abilities, you were rushed to the hospital by your neighbors. You were sent from facility to facility until someone who could actually help you manage your fate did so. Over the span of several months you learned control and tested the limits of your power. You could grow anything from trees to moss and soon decided that this was in fact a blessing rather than a curse. You began getting accustomed to replicating plants, and it quickly became a normal part of your daily life. Although, to this day you still had no idea how they came to be. Everybody including you and every scientists you'd consulted with were in the dark about the strange projectile that had exploded near your greenhouse. The question was a constant tug in the back of your mind.

You complimented your students' work as you opened your tablet and got to emails from commissioners and scientists alike. By now, the novelty of attention had worn off and you were quicker to say "no thank you" to researchers looking to build partnerships with you to utilize your powers. You had a few art commissions you bookmarked to get to later, and plenty of agricultural companies who wanted to negotiate prices for your services. One however, caught your attention. A laboratory studying outer space in The Hague wanted to pay for your flight and visit. They were interested in your status in the scientific community as a "self sustaining organism".

You scoffed and rolled your eyes. What a pretentious way to say 'hey, we know you can feed yourself and they want to know how to get astronauts to do that'. But then again, you could use a vacation. (Of course you knew this was professional but... Come on. They weren't going to keep you in the lab all day, right? You'd have the chance to go out and enjoy some light tourism. Plus it's a free flight and lodging.)

You decided to respond, going through all the usual formalities stating in the most corporate way possible that you were willing an excited to work with them in The Hague. You closed your laptop, twirling your pencil before tapping it to the paper. You felt like you owed science something, but science also owed something to you. You participated in countless research efforts, but not once could anyone replicate what happened to you. They couldn't even pinpoint how exactly it happened. You were beginning to believe that your willingness to contribute wasn't all because you cared about the advancements of science, but out of the sliver of hope that maybe, just maybe, while they're doing blood samples and having you grow things for them, they'll be able to find out what it was that did this to you.

You made a face. It's not like you're asking to reverse it! You loved your powers. You spent far less on groceries, you felt great being able to feed people and plant trees. Life was great! You had no complaints! It's just... You really wanted to know. How did this happen? Why you?

You open the email back up and quickly send a follow up.

You ask if they can, at all, try to find out the origins of your mutation.

----------------------

  Siebren sipped his coffee, narrowing his grey eyes. What had he written there? Whatever it was, it was scrawled so quickly and carelessly in the heat of a breakthrough that it was almost completely illegible.

He squinted hard, but the word became no clearer. He was jolted from his thoughts as a brisk knock sounded on the white door of his workspace.

"Ja?" He called, turning towards the entrance.

Yes?

"Jouwe koffie, professor." An intern shuffled inside, bringing him the extra caffeine he'd requested.

Your coffee, professor.

He thanked them and asked them for the latest happenings. He was partial to gossip, for otherwise, he'd probably be completely oblivious to anything going on. He stayed almost exclusively in his lab and couldn't resist rambling on any time somebody came in the ask him a question. A quiet moment like this was rare, and an excellent opportunity to catch up with his surroundings.

"We hebben een gast. Zijn naam is (y/n) (l/n), en hij komt uit Amerika." The intern, knowing this, was happy to comply. They informed him of their guest, and Siebren nodded along, sipping his drink.

We have a guest. His name is (y/n) (l/n) and he's from America.

"Iz dat zo? Om welke reden is hij hier?" Interested, the scientist raised an eyebrow.  The intern looked excited. They grinned, looking around, and leaned in to stage whisper.

Is that so? For what reason is he here?

"Dit klinkt vergezocht, maar ik hoor dat hij op commando en snel planten uit zijn lichaam kan laten groeien.." This bit made the astrophysicist choke a bit on his drink. He gave the intern a puzzled look.

This sounds far-fetched, but I hear he can grow plants from his body at will, and very quickly too.

His look of disbelief melted as he rationalized it in his brain. That sounded a little more than far fetched, it sounded like a flat out joke, but who was he to say anything? Here he was trying to harness the power of a black hole. In this facility, anything was possible. He still took it with a grain of salt, though. Perhaps this was a rumor. This place was prestigious and of good renown, but not immune to tall tales and stories being passed around. No place ever really was. He thanked the intern for the coffee and the update and they were quickly on their way to deliver a paper to another professor's office, leaving Siebren alone with his thoughts and research.

If that was a rumor, that was a very creative one. If not... well, then it'd be definitely something worth seeing.

He chuckled to himself. Oh, who was he kidding? That was silly.

He stared harder at his scrawled notes. Suddenly it hit him.

Ah, it had been a variable he's written. Sigma. He somehow got his wires crossed and wrote out its name rather than the symbol itself.

  ----------------------------

     You had touched down at the airport and went straight to work. You did the usual, live demonstrations, samples of every kind, etc. But between all the activity and the jet lag, you were exhausted. Too much to to do much more than admire the view from the hotel room. It was beautiful, and there were people walking about on the sidewalk below. You felt tempted by the cool breeze that rushed in from your open window.

Alright, just one walk and you'll head to bed.

  Elsewhere, Dr. Siebren de Kuiper had embarked on a similar path: a walk from the lab to his car parked all the way down the block.

Today had been long. It turns out that the rumors about the foreign man with the powers of botanical replication were true, and he had spent most of the day indisposed in the labs. Siebren strolled out and took a deep breath of the nighttime air. The sunset must have been lovely, if the dim wisps of fading sunlight behind buildings were anything to go off of. He kind of wished he'd hurried out of his office, as then he might have been able to watch it. That was one of the reasons he preferred to park so far away. The walks along the boulevard in the evening were exquisite.

On the downside, though, he had important papers with him to stuff into the back of his car and forget about, and the wind apparently decided it felt like picking up tonight. After it died down, he loosened his vice grip on his files, only for a sneaky breeze to take him by surprise and blow half the stack out of his grasp.

Siebren gasped and darted after them, pouncing on them and plucking them up from the pavement, muttering to himself. He turned to grab another before his hand touched not a paper, but another person.

He recoiled with a startled "oh" and his widened gray eyes attempted to make out the person in front of him.

"Ah, sorry," You handed his papers back to him. "You dropped these."

"Right, yes, thank y-" His smiled dropped as he spotted over your shoulder the last o his files. He tensed to make his way towards it, but the wind picked up before he could, and it whirled into the air, directly towards a channel of water that cut through the city.

Time seemed to go in slow motion as he stared horrified at his work about to be swallowed by the water.

He raised his arm, whispering a hapless "no" as it descended towards the rippling surface.

You lifted your hand, and in a second the paper was fluttering stagnant in the air.

Siebren couldn't register what just happened. There was a long, smooth stem protruding all the way from your palm, impaling his paper and keeping it in place. Slowly, the vine retracted into your skin, away from the water. When it got only a few feet long, you snapped it from your hand, turning it over to free the paper. You paused as you looked at it.

"Oh my God," You sputtered. "I'm so, so sorry I just- there's a hole in it now and I- I'm so sorry Oh God I really hope that wasn't important I'm so sorry."

"How did you do that?"

"I'm really really sorry, uh, I'm new here."

"How did you do that?"

"Ok not that we usually break people's stuff in America but- I- whatever, anyways I'm sorry."

You and Siebren stared at one another for many moments.

"Uh..." You panicked, holding out a hand to him. He tensed up, not quite recoiling but he did seem wary of the gesture after seeing how you'd just skewered his research paper. "Hi. I'm (y/n). I make plants."

Siebren could barely believe his luck.

[the-blind-assassin-12]

I See You : Part 2

A/N: After an absolute shit day at the office, you hear a very familiar voice and it brings you back to when you first met Billy Russo.

Word Count: 4,217

Warnings: language, mention of suicide, death

“Yeah.”

I know that voice. One word and you were almost positive that you knew who that voice belonged to, even though it had been a good eight years since you’d met him, and at least five since you’d heard his voice.

“Yeah, Frankie, I got it. Talk to you soon.”

That last bit was laced with sarcasm. Oh, I definitely know that voice. You’d been listening to the one side of the conversation that you could hear, since he boarded the bus along with a line of chattering tourists, rushed commuters,and dramatic high school kids. Normally the ride on the bus or the 7 train was your personal time. You’d pop your earbuds in and lean against the window, quietly letting yourself dissolve into whatever playlist felt right for that day; whatever songs you needed to hear to forget about the things you couldn’t change, or to erase the obnoxious remarks in whispered tones when people figured you couldn’t hear, or lift your spirits when you were tired of feeling alone in the nothing. 

Normally, on a day like the one you’d been having, you’d turn the volume up almost too high, on a song that was almost too angry. You’d had a blow up with your boss earlier- he’d mentioned that he thought you needed to take a step back on a few of your cases, and although he was probably right, hearing that from him felt like betrayal. Anthony was an old friend. He was the reason you had a job in the first place. He reached out to you after you’d returned home, for good this time, and while most of the time that dynamic made things light and easy- hard work balanced with jokes of the inside variety- it sometimes made things head and shoulders more difficult. Like when he had to give you what he knew you would take as “bad news”.

“C’mon, kid, you know it’s not personal.” He’d said from behind you as you turned your back on the conversation, deeming it over after he’d said the words “Sorry, but this is my final decision.” You imagined the slump of his shoulders, one hand coming to the bridge of his nose, the other gesturing in an apologetic manner. But you weren’t interested in his apology just yet. The rawness of his decision was still too new and you were never the type to hold your tongue.

“Feels pretty fuckin’ personal from where I stand, Ant.” You spat, still turned away from him. You started packing things into your bag with a little more aggression than necessary. It wasn’t that he was taking some of your cases away. Well, it was, but it wasn’t just that. He was taking away your favorite case- Molly Turnwell: 15 years old, bright as could be, lots of friends, good grades, captain of her swim team, and prior to her records landing on your desk, a suicide risk. You’d made a lot of progress with Molly in just the short two months that you’d been working with her, and you were completely against the idea of her being transferred to another counselor. You knew Molly’s case inside and out. You knew the tone of her voice and when she was hiding something. You knew her laugh, you knew the names of her friends. Hell, you even knew her swim meet schedule. “You’re taking me off Molly’s case just when I started to get somewhere with her. Just when she started to trust me. You wanna explain, Ant?”

He sighed, the sound of his slowly released breath sliding through the increasingly charged air between the two of you. “You know why.” His voice had changed from his authoritative tone to his friend tone. “You’ve been...struggling...coming in stressed and tired and…” he let his sentence trail off, the words sizzling up in the electrified air.

“And so you thought taking my favorite case would-” you shocked yourself with how loudly you were shouting, though you doubted Anthony was shocked.

He cut you off, matching your volume, but not challenging you to a screaming match. “Jesus Christ! Fine! I’m not taking anything from you, okay? But I am going to have Naomi step in for the next two weeks.” He sighed again and you paused your aggressive packing as a pang of guilt and the annoying feeling of knowing that you were wrong mixed in your stomach. Anthony said your name with all the sincerity that he had in him. “Just take two weeks, okay? Paid leave. Just...get some rest and get yourself back on a normal schedule...take care of yourself...you can’t help Molly like this, and you know it.”

His words sunk in and you knew that he was right. Things had been hard lately- it always came and went in unexpected waves, but for the past week it had been much, much worse;then again, the death of your best friend wasn’t something you normally had to deal with. You cracked your shoulders with a small twist of your spine and sniffed, wrinkling your nose. “And when I get back-”

“Yes, Jesus. Yes. When you get back, Molly is yours again, okay?”

It was the best you could hope for and you knew it. You nodded, curtly, still facing the wall, and Anthony, having known you since high school, knew that that was the best that he could hope for, too. “Come on, Ike,” you rose from your seat and Ike followed you soundlessly, the two of you leaving your office. As you stepped outside, the carpeted lobby of your office building giving way to the hard, cracked, caked in gum concrete of the sidewalk, the early summer air hit your face. You reached into the pocket of your bag that held your earphones, needing to shut out the sounds of the city and be alone with your mind.

In one lightning quick series of events, a pizza delivery person on a bike hopped the curb in his hurry to get the three pizzas he was balancing to their destination while they were still hot to avoid having to give them away for free. A flurry of curses and shouts followed him as he knocked a woman sideways into you. She grabbed your arm to steady herself and you grabbed onto Ike and miraculously none of you fell into the street where cars and busses flowed mercilessly by. Your earbuds, though, were another story. They flew into the road and you heard the distinct crunch as the tires of a cab rendered them useless. “Shit,” you muttered, not at all surprised that that was how things were going.

So today you sat on the bus, leaning against the window, trying to focus on anything but your anger, your exhaustion, Molly, Anthony, or attending the services you were dreading later in the week. You focused instead on the conversations of the people around you; an old hobby of yours- try to listen in, make up a story about the person, about their life or the nature of the relationship between them and the person they were talking to. It wasn’t so challenging when both parties were present and you could clearly hear every word. It was more fun and a better distraction when you were listening in on only half of a conversation happening over a phone- more gaps to fill, more silences to explain. So when the group that boarded the Q60 bus on Queens Boulevard included the voice that had caught your attention, you sat straight up and turned your ear toward where he had found a seat a few rows behind you, listening as he finished his conversation with someone named Frank. You were pretty sure that you’d heard that name before, too- pretty sure that Frank was his best friend- a brother- as close as you and Lexi had been.

.  .  .  .  .  .  .

Without warning,triggered by that appealing voice that was at once smoky and mysterious as well as blunt and sharply punctuated, your mind hurdled through eight years of memories. You found yourself standing outside the bar that was down the street and around the corner from your hotel. You and Lexi were in New York for a few days for a friend’s wedding, and while it had been nice to see some of your old college friends, you both decided that the 5 hours at the wedding had been enough. Skipping the afterparty in favor of a few cheap beers and something fried seemed like a much better plan so the two of you did just that.

“All I wanted was one hot groomsman, you know?” Lexi was slightly drunk and gesturing more wildly than normal and you had to laugh at her as she spun in your direction. “And I didn’t even get that! Noooo, instead we had to listen to Michelle go on and on about how wonderful it is to be pregnant.” She rolled her eyes and made a disgusted face as she yanked the door to the bar open. “Spare me the lies, Shell, amirite?”

You shrugged. “Wouldn’t know, but in no rush to find out.” As soon as you stepped inside the bar it was extremely apparent that the two of you were vastly overdressed, still in your wedding attire. You felt several sets of eyes tracing the curve of your hip, on full display in the skin tight charcoal gray dress you’d chosen for the evening, and you were certain that even more eyes were finding their way to the nearly backless, deep cut purple number that looked like it had been painted onto Lexi’s body. Not that you cared- unlike Lexi, you weren’t on a never ending quest to get laid by a different guy in each city you travelled to. You saw the smirk and the glint in your friend’s eye that said she was happy with the attention she was already getting, and the two of you found stools near the corner of the L shaped bar, right next to the only two men who hadn’t dropped their jaws to the floor upon your arrival.

You flagged down the bartender and ordered two Brooklyn Lagers and two shots of Maker’s Mark, biting back the laugh that was on your tongue at the face Lexi made when the amber liquid found its way in front of her. “Really? Bourbon? You hate me, don’t you?” She pouted.

You let the laugh out as you grabbed your shot glass. Lexi reluctantly picked hers up as well. You clinked them together. “When it’s your turn to pay, you pick the shots,” you said as a toast before the two of you downed your shots, you finishing yours much more quickly than Lexi.

“Ughh, I wish you were Vodka,” she whined into the empty shot glass before setting it down and washing the taste from her mouth with her beer. You laughed at her, tossing your head back at how overly dramatic she could be over the smallest things when in fact you knew her to be one of the most in control and logical people that you’d ever met.

“Oh come on, it couldn’t have been that bad, could it?” You asked, knocking her elbow with yours.

“It was. It really was,” she answered, her lips still set in a sour pout. She dropped her voice and you saw her eyes lock onto something over your shoulder. “But I think I see something that could make it better.” She raised her eyebrows and winked and you knew she was talking about a guy.

You feigned a stretch to turn your head without being obvious to get a look at whomever had put that spark in your friend’s eye, knowing as soon as you saw him which guy Lexi was talking about. Oh, wow. Yup. I bet he could make you forget all sorts of unpleasant things, you thought, as you took in the actual textbook definition of tall, dark and handsome leaning back in his stool, long fingers grasping the neck of a green beer bottle bearing the same logo as the one in your hand. His eyes were obsidian, but they shone brighter than eyes that black should in a very dangerous and alluring way. He laughed at something his friend was saying, longish hair falling in his face before he brought a hand up to rake it back into place. It was no wonder his weren’t among the eyes that had landed on you as you entered the bar; he didn’t need to go looking. Women came to him.

You turned back to Lexi, eyes wide. “Wow,” you mouthed.

“Yeah. Wow is right,” she took a long pull from her beer. “Watch this.” She set the beer on the bar and hopped off of her stool with a wink. You shook your head, hair brushing your shoulders as you did. Lexi sauntered the few steps between where you were sitting and her destination. She stopped behind the two men, standing between their stools. “Hi,” she simply said, dazzling smile lighting up her face, drawing her perfect pink lips upwards, taking her perfectly rounded cheeks nearly into her eyes.

You watched as her target licked at his lips, a bright smile starting on his own face as he looked Lexi up and down. “Ma’am,” he said with an appraising nod.

Lexi turned to his friend and smiled at him, too. He nodded and smiled back, a genuine smile, and skipped the part where he tried to see through her dress. You noted a thick gold band on his left hand that indicated that he was taken, though it couldn’t be more clear that he wasn’t interested in a one night stand with a stranger, no matter how great Lexi looked. You felt your own smile grow as you took another swig of your beer and watched Lexi flirt with her target. Before long the four of you were sitting close together, chatting and laughing. Tall dark and handsome, whose name you learned was Billy, ordered another round of shots- vodka for Lexi this time, which she graciously accepted, but bourbon for the rest of you. You swore Billy winked at you as he slid your shot down the bar, but he turned his attention back to Lexi before you could be sure.

“To chance encounters with attractive strangers,” Billy toasted, flashing a million watt smile, bright enough to blackout the whole eastern seaboard.

“Cheers to that,” Lexi responded, tapping her glass lightly to his before throwing the contents of it down her throat much more quickly than she had the bourbon. Minutes later, she found herself in Billy’s lap, his eyes roving over her neck and shoulders, flicking back up to her face. You noticed the way the corners of his eyes crinkled when he smiled, noticed the casual and comfortable way he draped his long limbs over the back of the bar stool and around your friend. The two of them seemed to be sequestered in their own bubble, despite the fact that the bar had gotten rowdier around you.

You turned your attention to Billy’s friend Frank and carried on a polite conversation with him. You learned that they were both Marines, both in between deployments, both lived here in New York. H e told you about his wife and his kids, told you a story or two about some of the things he and Billy had gotten into and out of. He wasn’t a big talker, but he answered your conversational questions, acknowledging the fact that both of you were wingmen for your more sexually voracious friends. When Lexi turned to you to tell you that she was going home with Billy that night, you were as unsurprised as you could be, knowing full and well that that had been her goal since you two stepped foot inside the reception hall at the wedding hours earlier.

You told her to be careful and have fun and to call you if you needed anything, and you locked eyes with Billy, threatening all the normal things if he didn’t treat your friend well. He laughed and winked at you, promising to treat her just fine before lacing his long, pale fingers with Lexi’s perfectly manicured carmel colored ones, the two of them disappearing through the bar door and out into the night. You turned to Frank. “Well, good for them I guess,” you shrugged and he chuckled.

“Yeah, good for them.” He offered to walk you back to your hotel, and though you were never afraid to walk anywhere at any time alone, having full faith in your self defense skills, it was a nice offer and one you hadn’t gotten in years, so you took it. Frank walked next to you, keeping enough distance to be respectful but staying close enough to intervene if needed. “You know,” he said as you approached the lobby doors of the hotel. “Bill’s not really a settle down type of guy, much as I try to get him to see the light,” he laughed and looked at you. “But if that’s what your friend is lookin’ for then-”

You cut him off with a laugh. “Frank, I appreciate the concern, but Lexi’s mottos is ‘cannot be tamed’. She’s not the settle down type, either.” They’re perfect for each other.

Frank smiled and nodded, pulling the door open for you. “Well, it’s been a pleasure, Ma’am.”

“Likewise, Frank. Thanks for walking me back. You have a good night.” You smiled and headed inside and up to your room, utterly exhausted. You peeled your dress off and fell into the big empty bed and before you knew it you were fast asleep.

A few weeks later, once you both were back home in Boston, Lexi got a text from Billy saying that he’d be in town the following week for a day or two and wanted to know if she wanted to meet up. “Oh, Mr. New York is looking for a repeat performance on the road, is he?” you teased, tossing a couch pillow at her.

She shot you the finger as a smirk crawled up her cheeks and she replied with their address, telling him to come on over when he got here. But almost as soon as the text was sent, Lexi had forgotten about Mr. New York, and made plans to go out with a Mr. Chicago, who was also visiting, just for a day or two. You stayed home like you always did when Lexi was out doing her thing, preferring to stretch out on the couch with a beer and a movie. An hour or so after she’d left, there was a knock at your door, startling you. You crossed the room to peek through the peephole and nearly choked on your own caught breath. There he was, Mr. Tall Dark Handsome Billy Russo New York himself. Oh, crap, Lexi never let him know… You bit your lip, silently cursing your friend for putting this on you, and despite what Frank had said about Billy not being the settle down type, you found yourself feeling bad that he’d shown only to be stood up. You doubted that he was used to that.

He knocked again and you realized that you couldn’t just leave him standing there, so you opened the door. “Hi, Billy,” you greeted him as though you were expecting him all along. He was dressed casually again, like the time you’d met him, in dark jeans and a thermal sweater, the sleeves pushed up around muscular forearms.

“Hey yourself,” he said as you stepped aside to allow him and his smile through your door. You closed it behind you and he crossed his arms over his chest. “So, Lexi around?”

You flinched, fixing the chain lock in place before turning to face him. You shook your head. “Sorry, Billy, she...something came up and…”

He let out a breath of air that was half laugh and half annoyed sigh. He pressed his lips together, tongue slipping out to wet them before speaking. “Uh huh. Something came up. I’ve used that one before, too.” Oh, good, so he knows that they’re cut from the same mold. He looked around your apartment, taking in his surroundings before his jet black but curiously wide eyes landed on you- on you in your sweatpants with your oversized NAVY tee and your haphazard ponytail. You self consciously tugged at the hem of your shirt.

Billy seemed to notice that you felt uncomfortable- do I though?- and dropped his arms. “Alright, well, sorry to bother you,” he didn’t sound even the slightest bit disappointed that he’d been stood up and you wondered if that was an act or if he truly didn’t care. He turned toward the door to leave but your own voice came from the silence, stopping him.

“You don’t have to leave, you know…” Shit. Why did I say that?

He swiveled back to look you in the eye and again your breath caught so forcefully that you feared you’d choke on your own air. He arched on eyebrow up into his hair, questioningly.

You rolled your eyes. “Oh God, Russo, not like that,” and he laughed, more genuinely and less annoyed this time. You shrugged. “I just meant, you could stay for a drink or we could go grab one or something.” You looked down at your appearance. “I’d have to change, but..” you shrugged again.

He eyed your tee shirt. “You got a boyfriend in the Navy or something?”

You shook your head. “Nah, I don’t have a boyfriend in the Navy. I’m in the Navy...so is Lexi...didn’t that come up?” Now it was your turn to arch a brow and he pursed his lips, nodding as if to say touche. “So. About that drink, am I changing or what?”

He’d decided to stay and you popped open two more beers as the two of you talked and laughed at Lexi’s expense, just a little. After that, it was all too easy to call Billy a friend, the two of you keeping in touch over text and with the occasional phone call. You kept up with where he was when he was deployed, and he managed to keep track of your time overseas as well. As the years went by you didn’t even talk about Lexi anymore. He’d opened up to you about certain things that you knew in your heart he hadn’t shared with anyone else, save maybe Frank, and you’d shared some of the same brand of secrets with him. You got the feeling that he wasn’t the type to make friends- in three years the only real friend you ever heard him mention was Frank, occasionally a guy named Curtis, but it wasn’t lost on you that you were in a very small circle. It was never romantic with Billy, never more than a friendship, although the more he shared, the more you gave him in return. You had friends in nearly every branch of the military, most of them deployed for the better portion of the year. But you never felt quite as nervous when they shipped out, or quite as relieved when you heard that they’d returned home safely as you did with Billy. By the end of the third year of your friendship, you were starting to question what that meant, when all communication with him stopped.

You tried not to let your mind go to the worst places as you scanned articles and obituaries hoping not to find his name. You never did, and while you were immensely glad, you were also saddened to realize that he’d simply lost interest in you. Guess I had a longer run than most, you told yourself. About a year and a half from your last conversation with Billy, you’d heard his name on the news- no, not his name...not Billy, but “Former Marine Lt. William Russo”...being announced as the CEO of a new advanced security training facility in NYC. Good for you, Mr. New York, you thought as you looked at the man on the screen. He wore Billy’s smile, though there was less light in it. He had Billy’s hair, but not a strand was out of place. Instead of the casual jeans and sweaters that he looked too good in, he wore a three piece suit that you knew cost more than your monthly rent payment. He looked like Billy, but he also didn’t. Guess he’s moving up in the world.

.  .  .  .  .  .  .

As he snapped the phone closed, you couldn’t hold your tongue. You moved up a seat, Ike following dutifully, until you were right behind him. Suddenly you felt nervous all over again, but this time you had reason, real reason- because his communication had dropped off five years ago, he hadn’t known about your accident. You adjusted the thick, dark sunglasses on the bridge of your nose. Don’t be stupid. Just say hello. Ike leaned his furry head against your leg encouragingly. You took a deep breath and let the words tumble out before you could talk yourself out of it. 

“Billy Russo, is that you?”

.  .  .  .  .  .  .  .

@something-tofightfor @my-little-dumpster-fire @zaffrenotes @suchatinyinfinity @lexxierave @songforhema @thesumofmychoices 

let me know if you would like to be added or removed to the tags! thank you for reading! 

[spooky-skz]

Fanboy!Hyunjin AU

HELLO GUYS! It’s 2 something in the morning where I live and I’m itching to post an au for hyunjin aside from the au’s I have in progress ( the nephilim!au and youtuber!au are coming soon i promise.) SO WHAT BETTER TO DO THAN AN IDOL AU

•so you’re a very popular member from a girl group called, A+. (ik, it’s lame, bare with me its 2 am)

•your music can be heard blaring out from many shops, restaurants, cafe’s, etc.

• and the group has received nothing but praise for the hard work you all put in during your trainee days to the present.

•NOW LETS GET TO FANBOY!HYUNJIN.

•skz are all stans of your group but each boy has a different bias.

• hyunjin is a very proud stan. he has you as his lock & home screen. it’s a photo your company first released of you when they were announcing the members of the group.

•he picked you to stan bc of your cool personality and amazing talents! you weren’t just a pretty face uwu

•collects every album/photo card of yours no matter how many versions your company releases.

• a cashier asked him once why he had ten copies of the same album and his reply was simple. each album has the possibility of having a signed photocard.

•he held his breath every time he opened an album, however he found a different member’s signed photocard.

•not gonna lie, he was kind of bummed but nevertheless still happy that he got the rare chance to own such a precious product.

•texted in the skz group chat who he got.

• then his phone started ringing and it was jeongin.

•he had to move the phone away from his ear bc the kid was screaming his dolphin scream from the other line.

•”YOU GOT HEYOON’S PHOTOCARD?!” the younger boy asked, panting from his battle cry.

• hyunjin responded with a yes.

•”I’LL TRADE YOU, I GOT (Y/N)!” jeongin shouted.

• cue both of them screaming at the same time after they agreed to trade

• this guy jams to A+’s songs while doing anything.

•going grocery shopping? he’s listening to it w/earbuds.

•eating dinner at a restaurant by himself? still listening.

•driving to pick up his dog from the groomers? the people outside his car can hear the song and see him TURNING UPPPPP to every bop y’all had ever released.

•he knows every line you have by heart. can recite it backwards too, true talent.

• first to open a fansite for you and it became a vERY big thing for your fandom????

•this guy, he’s like the ideal fansite everyone wishes to exist.

•he doesn’t white wash photos because he firmly believes that you are beautiful just as yourself, no lightening of skin necessary.

•he lets people edit his photos too but as long as they don’t crop out his infamous cute pencil and paper logo that has a red, “A+” written on it.

•he also runs an instagram that is dedicated to updates for your group.

•everyone is always like… “how tf does he get this info so fast? like your company just posted about the news of your comeback two minutes ago and he’s already got a whole post about it with his own personal concerns and hopes.”

•unbeknownst to the company, your group always keeps up with social media posts. you and the rest of your own members have secret accounts that you use to follow fans who like to give detailed inputs on your recent performances and interviews. all their cute edits and encouragement fill your heart full of love!

•you actually took notice of hyunjin’s account first because he was one of the most popular fan accounts in the fandom. EVERYONE could count on his posts bc he didn’t publish any info till he verified it as true.

•you appreciated how he wrote about the little extra movements you made in your dance choreos that really make the overall concept of your song pop. the tiny habits you hadn’t noticed about yourself were things he wrote about as well. he also wasn’t creepy in his writing too. you could really sense how much this boy adored your music.

•btw he posted one selfie after hitting a milestone of 2 million followers and you might of… choked on your drink for a bit bc wow! this guy is behind all them posts?!

•ooooof don’t get me started on the first fanmeet your company held.

•hyunjin’s palms were sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy (bahahaha sorry i had to put in a little eminem in there.) because he was literally going to come face to face with the individual who brightened up his life with her jokes, performing abilities, and more!

• the plane touched down and your group was led out into the airport lounge area where he and the numerous fans already waiting there, IT WAS INTENSE.

• security were doing their best to keep everyone calm but most of the fans were shoving and pulling to get a closer look at y’all.

•not hyunjin though. he was just nervously waiting for your group to make a turn in the corner of the large hallway with a small present in his hand.

• the second he saw you round the area where he stood, he didn’t try and take advantage of the fact that the security were only covering one side of the hallway from the crowd, leaving you completely exposed to simply walk in front of him with no one to hold him back if he invaded your personal space. which he totally didn’t :D

• see? The fansite every group deserves lol

•you paused when he called your name because… you’ve seen that face before!!!

•tbh he didn’t expect you to stop bc his words got caught in his throat when your eyes met his and instead his hand held out a small neatly gift wrapped box.

•you accepted the gift with a smile, a thank you, and a bow. your fingers brushed against his wrist for a moment and you both felt static surge through your hands.

•AHHHH THE CUTE FACIAL EXPRESSION YOU HAD ON WHILE YOU APOLOGIZED FOR ELECTROCUTING HIM WAS MAKING HIS FACE TURN REDDER AND REDDER BY THE MOMENT.

•”no worries! we’re both okay and that’s what matters.” he said looking very flustered.

•you were called to by heyoon bc the other members were already in the van just waiting for you.

•while the stylist was adding some finishing touches to your outfit, she asked, “do you have a specific jewelry piece in mind today?” you held up the gift hyunjin had given you and it was a beautiful necklace with a pendant that had the words, “side by side, or miles apart, your fans are always connected with you through the heart,” engraved onto it.

•this guy had the biggest smile on his face when he saw you wearing the gift he thought about for a while.

•”cute necklace!” he heard a member beside you say.

• “thanks, it’s my favorite.” you replied, and now it was his turn to kneel in front of you, his heart beating faster/harder than earlier.

OOF! would you guys like a part 2, ya girl is totally open. it’s like four minutes to four am here now, ahaha took me a while to make this. hope you enjoyed it! if you’re going to kcon la on saturday and sunday, let me know bc i’ll be there!!!!! time to sleeeeeeep. i might edit little errors here and there when i wake up later on lol. sweet dreams, my precious cabbages.

[a-confused-turtle]

The Little Avenger - 2

Fandom: Marvel’s Avengers

Original Request by @sireennotsiren​ “ hi!! I have a request for you! Can I have a fic where the reader is a 14/15 year old kid and shes an avenger? And shes super op like shes invincible and strong and can teleport etc. overall badass but she still this teenage kid? And shes on caps team in cacw and her n bucky just gat along really well? Nothing weird, just good happy friends? And she gets him to open up and stuff? Ik its a lot no pressure, i just wanted to see it! Thanks bb <3″

Summary: Part 2. Bucky is thinking about when he first met Y/N. She’s still an enigma to him, but maybe she gets it after all. Italics are the memory!

Pairing/Characters:  None (except BigBrother/Platonic!BuckyxReader), Bucky, Steve, Natasha, Clint, Wanda, Sam, Peter Parker, mentions of others/collective avengers family

Word Count: 2,600+ (oops)

Warning: A couple curses maybe. Some angst.

Author’s Note: So, pretend that after Civil War everything somehow was resolved and everyone it back and together sort of thing. I needed big, happy Avengers family before Infinity War and I wanted to go back to the original request with the civil war stuff. I hope you guys don’t hate it.

Part 1

“There’s somebody else I know…” Clint muttered reluctantly on the other end of the line.

Steve knew well enough the meaning behind those words and he wasn’t going to have any of it. To Bucky’s confusion, as he only heard Steve’s side of the conversation, Steve immediately spoke back,“No, Clint. She’s staying out of this. We’re not going to-“

And he didn’t have the chance to finish. Even more reluctantly, Clint almost winced, “She already called me, told me to let her know when you made contact.”

“Don’t call her back.” Steve asserted in that severe, protective voice - the one more frightening than his commanding leadership tone.

“She’s already here. She knew I wouldn’t call.”

Steve closed his eyes, frowning. Bucky grimaced at the expression, whatever was happening didn’t bode well. “Let me talk to her.”

You’d snatched the phone from Clint’s hand so enthusiastically he should’ve lost a finger. “I’m not some stray; I’m a capable member of this team! No matter what you say I’m not sitting on the sidelines like every other time-”

Your pitch grew so shrill and fiesty that Steve physically removed the phone from his ear while you pressed on with an eloquent argument. Bucky even managed to catch a few snippets, it had bells ringing in his head about a little, scrawny boy always getting himself into trouble.

“Y/N, I don’t want you to get hurt. Can’t you understand that?”

“You’re getting Wanda. Come on, you know I’ve been training with her.”

“This is a real fight, not a stealth mission. You’d be a fugitive.” Part of him wanted to remind you of Tony, how he would feel and how you’d be fighting your family - the real ones that had been there for you when no one else had - not hydra agents, but the words never made it to his mouth. They died abruptly in his throat.

“I think I can handle it. And I’m coming regardless of how this conversation ends.”

Steve sighed exasperatedly, which you took as him relenting.

“Tell Bucky I can’t wait to finally meet him! Love ya, Steve!”

Click. The line fell quiet, dead even. Without your energy, your warmth, even over such an impersonal device and frustrating situation, Steve felt the difference. He shook his head, tucking the phone away.

“Everything set?” Bucky finally asked, voice rough though curious. Sam perked up at the question, looking for the answer too.

“Yeah, and I’ve got somebody who can’t wait to meet you, Buck.”

~

Bucky heard your screeching before you plowed into the living room, disappearing for a second and then snapping back into existence midair, just above the couch. For a moment his pulse quickened and he readied himself for an attack, but the instant you dissolved into giggles, he relaxed. The super soldier even smiled a little to himself. Not far behind you followed Natasha, a mess of red hair and a sly grin. While even she fought to conceal it, everyone knew you were her little angel and the only one that could bring out that soft side of hers.

She swiftly crossed the room, taking no notice of Bucky, and surprised you with an onslaught of tickling.

“No! Please!” You cried between the laughs and short breaths, “I yield!”

“That’s what I thought,” she grinned and poked you in the stomach a couple more times before continuing into the kitchen.

Were you just able to bring out the best in people?

~

Before Clint even shifted the van into park, you had flung open the passenger side door and naturally teleported yourself the rest of the way to Steve. Wanda followed out the same door with less hustle.

You flung your arms around the man, stretching onto the very tips of your toes. Unable to stop himself, even in such dire circumstances, Steve lifted you off your feet and bear-hugged you like always.

Bucky was still catching up during the process of that hug. Had a small girl just teleported? His eyes must have been playing tricks… wouldn’t have been the first time.

“You shouldn’t be here,” Steve muttered at you as he set you down.

“It’s lovely to see you too,” you replied, smiling, “Sam, sup.”

“Hey kid,” Sam returned and bumped his fist against yours before ruffling your hair gently. You swatted at him playfully, fixing your hair as Steve directed the remaining introduction.

“Buck, this is Y/N. Y/N, there you go, you’ve met him,” he said quickly with some semblance of humor in his words.

Bucky nodded at you, and you grinned ear to ear at Steve and then at Bucky. “It’s lovely to meet you. Heard so much about you!”

The task of responding to that left Bucky clueless, but luckily he didn’t have to do more than muster a small smile back because Clint and Steve got down to business.

What the hell was a kid doing there? Bucky couldn’t remember your face from any of the footage he’d seen, none of the news reports. Not even the stuff from Sokovia. Regardless, anyone so young and full of hope had no business fighting such a fight, especially not against your ‘family’ if such a comparison were true.

As the men spoke, Wanda gravitated toward you, softly placing a hand on your shoulder, which you welcomed before taking it in your own.

When they brought Scott Lang out of the van you smiled even brighter than before, either because of Scott’s hilarity or, as Bucky suspected, the thought of a new friend and family member. That grin of yours even infected the others in the slightest way. Clint’s unwavering flat line of a mouth rippled into something of its own grin, same with Steve’s.

Both quickly returned to grimaces soon enough though.

“Suit up.”

~

Even in the worst of times…

“Bucky, helllllooooo?”

Suddenly, Bucky snapped back to the present where you still lay haphazardly across the couch, but were now calling his name. “What?”

“I asked how you are, but you looked like you were thinking real hard about something,” you explained lightly as you cocked your head his direction.

Instinctively, Bucky’s brow scrunched slightly. Only you and Steve asked him how he was doing, and every time either of you asked it never felt right to explain the truth, his truth. “Good. Although, nothing’s going to top that whipped cream pranking this morning,” he finally replied.

Why was it so automatic to say good even when you weren’t good? Did that happen to everyone?

“I know what you mean. It’s hard when you start a day off like that. How can you top that?”

Bucky nodded, not really thinking of anything to say in return, which luckily, he didn’t have to. You continued right on, “Especially when all I’ve done today since then is chores and homework. What have you been up to?”

Nothing. A big fat nothing, because he never felt like he had the right to do anything he wanted. He found himself each day on a never ending cycle of regret, guilt, and pain. “Oh, not much. Some training,” he muttered, trailing off intentionally.

“Would you like to do something fun?”

Another question he couldn’t say he’d been asked often, especially around such a severe group of ‘super-heroes.’

“I was thinking of some board games. Or maybe card games, those are just as fun. I haven’t played in a while…”

~

You took off ahead of the boys, knowing fully well one of your friends would be along to face off against the three of you momentarily. Who was it going to be?

Without glancing back you ran for one of the motionless escalators, but teleported the rest of the way down, if only to get a better look at your surroundings or the incoming opponent. The crashes and rumbles outside struck a cord, not to mention the radio use. This was real. You really were fighting your family, the only people you’d dared to love that much.

That terrified you, terrified every miniscule part of your young existence, and yet you didn’t let that fear claim your heart. You fought it back with cool, calm breaths and a focused eye. Finally, after so much training, you had the chance to do something you believed in. While not pleasant, you knew it was best, that it was the only thing you could do - fight for the truth, for what was right.

“Sam?” You yelled in question. They’d hit the escalator and had almost reached the landing.

“Keep going!”

Once again you set off, eyes now stuck on the fight outside - a large Antman and various explosions. Only then did your eye catch sight of an unfamiliar figure… “Incoming!” You screeched.

While the warning helped avoid some damage, the swinging figure still smashed right through the terminal’s window and into both Sam and Bucky. Your body responded instinctively with the muscle memory of a drill you’d run a thousand times. You had the person on the ground by the time the boys made it back to their feet.

And the person, dressed completely in red, was shooting something at you before you knew it. Your hands caught in some sort of sticky, weby substance. His voice suddenly squeaked in that familiar teenage way, apologizing, before Sam flew in, immediately taking the unknown foe off with him.

Bucky swiftly yanked the material away, freeing your hands, before heading in the direction Sam had. For a split second his stern eyes caught yours and you couldn’t help but recognizing something in them. Something you knew all too well: a darkness beneath the surface, shit bottled up. You shook the thought away and finally registered the fight happening in the rafters of the terminal, just as Bucky launched something right at the red, spider-like figure.

That person kept talking, in that cheerful voice even as he flung the same object right back at Bucky, who, thank god, managed to dodge in time.

“Hey,” you called loudly, to both catch attention and stall, “Who the hell are you?”

“I’m Peter! Oh, um, I mean… I’m Spiderman,” the boy-ish voice fumbled out, “Who are you?” All the while he continued his assault on Sam. But, by the time he asked the question, he’d turned his focus on you, having incapacitated the Falcon with one of his weby things.

“Oh nobody, just Y/N,” you replied, your eyes intent on his hands as he swung closer to you. He raised one of them, and held onto the pillar he’d perched on with the other, and just as he shot the web at you, you teleported a few feet to the right of your previous location. “That’s a neat trick you got there.”

Apparently, that distraction had given Bucky enough time to take cover and locate another projectile. Sam was still struggling in those webs. And you kept working on your feet. The boy - Peter - wasted no time and in one movement swung closer to you and shot two fresh webs at you new spot.

You dodged again, appearing behind him and then to his right, as he worked the problem that was you. Maybe he’d only encountered opponents he could catch?

Out of nowhere, something, maybe a chair, whizzed through the air right into Peter’s side. He stumbled, but didn’t fall all the way to the ground. No, he caught himself and quickly aimed for Bucky and then you again.

Bucky managed to get out of the way, as did you, and the fight went on from there.

“Sam! We could really use Red Wing here!” You yelled with such ferocity it distracted Peter as you’d hoped. Your powers allowed you to dodge his flying webs better than Bucky could, not to mention his height and giant metal arm made him a bigger target.

“I’m working on it!”

In the heat of everything, your mind somehow drifted back to the events surely occuring outside. Your heart clenched and you hesitated. Where were the others? Steve? Tony? WandaD Natasha?

One of Peter’s webs caught your leg then, hinging it to the ground.

He let out what was probably supposed to be a quiet, “Yes!” but actually ended up as a yell in triumph.

You ripped it from the floor in one smooth motion, before running toward the boy. You teleported closer, so he hadn’t the time to direct another web your way, and used your momentum to finally shove him off his new light fixture perch.

Clearly you hadn’t thought that one through, you realized, as you teleported to the ground, landing in a heap. Super strength had its perks, but falling on your ass still hurt like hell no matter what.

Just as you were about to spring back into action, another crash sounded through the terminal. Peter screamed, caught by Red Wing’s attachment, and was towed right out another window.

“Couldn’t have done that sooner?” Buckey groaned from somewhere further down the terminal, to your left.

“Shut up,” Sam shot back from your right.

You laughed at the exchange. Really the whole fight itself. That boy was more talkative than you, and he sure loved Bucky’s metal arm. You kept laughing until the two men were back on their feet, standing over you.

It really shouldn’t have been funny, not at all. But, something about it all told you everything would be okay, eventually. Why exactly did your brain register that as a legitimate message? Who the hell knew. Maybe you just had to believe in something when the people you believed in, your family and role models, got a little grey.

“Y/N, are you good?” Sam asked, surprisingly quietly.

You finally caught your breath. “Just dandy. Living the dream, really.”

Without another word, Bucky pulled you up to your feet and they both gave you a more thorough survey. “Thank you, Bucky! Really guys, I’m fine. How are you doing? You guys got hit pretty bad with that web stuff.”

“Well, we can’t all be invincible like you,” Sam replied with a hint of humor, before quickly turning back to business. “Let’s go.”

Sam took off. You, oddly enough, brushed some rubble off Bucky’s arm, flashed him a smile, and set off running too.

~

“Is there something on your mind, Bucky?”

One instant Bucky was reliving that fateful day and the next he was back, right there with you. How had he even gotten there? What did he do to deserve this ‘family’ around him?

“Um, yeah. There is…”

You cocked your head to the side as your expression turned more investigative. While he could tell you were dying to know what it was, as if all you’d finally reached Friendship Level 10, you kept quiet.

“I don’t understand why you keep talking to me. I don’t deserve your kindness or your friendship.”

Your face fell and your innocent, doe eyes fogged over in sadness, or alarm almost. You managed to sit up fully too, muscles clearly tensed and rigid. “What? Because you’re… You’re Steve’s Bucky, you’re nice and kind, and you don’t deserve what’s happened to you! You should feel like you’re a part of this family too!”

Bucky’s brow furrowed at your response, but it was his turn to hold his tongue.

“I suppose, I understand why you’d say that… but nothing that happened, or that you did, make anything I said any less true.”

“Thank-thank you, Y/N.”

You visibly relaxed as soon as the words fell from Bucky’s lips. He even felt a bit lighter, better too. “Of course, happy to knock some sense into you any time.”

He chuckled a little. “You’re just like Steve. I thought that about you when first met you too, you know.”

You beamed, clearly taking it as a compliment. “It’s the stubbornness, isn’t it? Although, I am pretty short and scrawny…”

That had you both laughing a bit immediately.

“So what do you say to some board games, huh?”

“I’d love to, kiddo.”

Tags:  @enniaram  @inlovewithnovels

[justanothermagicalbeing]

Now I See You

Summary: As Kol’s best friend, you’ve always been a part of the family even though some members liked you more than others. When a plan suddenly goes deadly wrong, a Mikaelson brother might figure out that his feelings for you are different than he thought.

Prompts: 17. ”You know what? I never thought that you would hurt me. I guess I was wrong.” 18. “I almost lost you.” 29. ”I’m pretty sure you’ll endager a lot more than that if you go out looking like this.” 38. “If you die, I’ll bloody kill you.”

Pairing: ElijahxReader Words: 1,174

A/N: Once again, I combined two requests because I thought the prompts suited each other. And this is how I imagined the dress. Happy reading!

Klaus: So, does everyone know what they’re going to do?

The Mikaelson family including Marcel and you nodded. His plan was not that complicated and although several things could go wrong, you all felt pretty confident. Even you who had to be the bait.

Klaus: Good. I’ll let you prepare for tonight’s ball and battle then.

Before you had the chance to follow him out of the room, you best friend Kol sneaked up on you and whispered mischievously in your ear.

Kol: I’ve got the perfect dress for you, darling. That creepy old witch won’t be able to take his eyes off of you.

…

You had not protested against his choice of dress. Even though it showed more skin than the dresses you usually wore, you iked it. The light black fabric wrapped itself perfectly around your body, the two slits showed your well-trained legs, and the glittering top showed off your bosom.

When you walked down the stairs to the party that had yet to begin, Kol whistled playfully.

Y/N: Kol, I’m beginning to think that you made me wear this for your sake more than for the sake of the plan’s success.

Kol: Well, who says that those two things can’t be combined?

He winked but you just shook your head of his childish behavior, a smile still on your face though.

Y/N: I can’t help but think that I’ll endanger my reputation with this dress.

Elijah: I’m pretty sure you’ll endanger a lot more than that if you go out looking like this.

You turned your head, surprised by the older Mikaelson’s words. Both because you had not noticed his entering and because he barely spoke to you. He probably found you too childish and playful for his liking. Not that it really mattered to you; you found him too boring anyway. At least most of the times. There had been a few exceptions over the past centuries where he had shown an otherwise unknown fun side of himself.

Before you got the chance to answer him, Klaus entered the room.

Klaus: As long as you endanger the enemy, I don’t care. Now, who’s ready for a fight?

…

The plan worked out nicely. Whether it was your outfit, you dancing, or your sweet tongue, you did not know, but you had the old witch wrapped around your finger. Magic or not, when it comes down to it, all men are the same; they just want a pretty girl’s affection.

But unbeknownst to you and the Mikaelsons, the old man had not come alone. And his friends were not as easily seduced.

While you had been dancing with him, one of his lackeys had whispered something in his ear. The next thing you knew was that you were flying through the room before you hit the wall hard. You heard someone shouting your name but you were not sure who it was.

You were only away for a second but when you got up from the ground, the entire ball room had turned into a battlefield.You did not hesitate to enter.

You were able to knock down several enemies. You even saw your chance to fight the big guy himself. But when you were about to grab him from behind, he turned behind and shoved a stake into your body.

You felt it slightly piercing your heart and let out a heartbreaking scream. Before the witch got a chance to shove the stake even further into you, his head was separated from his body by a very angry-looking Elijah.

He quickly pulled the stake out but part of it broke off in the process and the small piece of wood now tried to find its way to your heart.

When Elijah noticed this, his eyes grew wide.

Elijah: No.

He fought hard to find the piece of wood inside of you but it was small. You looked down at your hands - they were turning grey.

Y/N: It’s… Too late.

Elijah: No, it’s not. I’m not giving up and neither are you. If you die, I’ll bloody kill you!

Despite feeling powerless, you tried to gain strength from his words. You would not die, not today. You tried to locate the wood inside of you and finally, you figured out where the pain came from.

Y/N: Left. Move your hand… slightly to the left.

Elijah did as he was told. When he felt the cold wood, he pulled it out with a sigh of relief.

You did not even get a chance to thank him before you were attacked by Kol who hugged the last bit of remaining air out of your body.

…

When you went to bed that night, your feet walked towards Elijah’s room instead of your own. Instead of knocking at his door, you slowly opened it and entered. He was by the window, his back facing you.

Y/N: I just… I just came to... I wanted to thank you. For saving me. If you hadn’t been there and found that piece of wood, I… Well.

You waited several seconds for a reply but nothing came. Just when you were about to leave the room, he spoke, still looking out of the window.

Elijah: We almost lost you. I almost lost you.

His words surprised you; you had never thought that you meant anything for him. But when he turned around and faced you, you saw fear and caring in his eyes.

Elijah: You know what? I never thought that you would hurt me. After all, you’re just my brother’s friend. Someone I never let in, someone I never wanted to let in. But at one point I guess I did. And I guess I was wrong. Because tonight I felt more scared than I have in a very long time. The mere thought of losing you hurt me more than anything ever has. And I did not even realize it before you were dying right in front of me.

During Elijah’s speaking, you simply stopped breathing. This was the man whom you had never thought twice about. He was just someone who was there. But seeing and hearing him now made you rethink your view of him.

When you were to give him a reply, you found no words. You did not know what to feel or think let alone what to say. So when something finally popped up, you just let it out without thinking about it.

Y/N: I guess we never really know what’s right in front of us until we’re about to lose it. But at least now we’ve got the chance to figure out what ‘this’ really is.

The two of you just stood silently in front of each other, neither of you knowing what to say. Instead, you were trying to see each other in this new light that had suddenly been lit. Your relationship might not change from one day to another but things were going to be different. And you were both certain that they would change for the better.

[mslouisadee]

January Blues, February Brights

Time to get out of a mid-winter January funk. A record crop of Meyer lemons in the greenhouse might help.

It's been tough. I mean, I expected this. Book deadline looming and I just started writing. Even though I lost my job last winter I was fortunate to have a severance package, but it runs out in a month. I'm not ignorant to the fact that I am still quite fortunate, but I also know that changes are on the doorstep, and maybe I haven't prepared enough for them (hello? Health insurance?). Ive been trying to squeeze in doctor appointments and dental work before March. I usually like January too - not only do I love snow, it's my birthday month. I should mention that I've officially reached that time in my life when it's like "birthdays? Really? I'm not talking about it. Then there is this funk which is probably just a combo of everything. Not to mention Post-Holiday Diets, the unusually cold and snowy weather we've been getting here in the Northeast (bomb cyclone and the coldest weather in over 100 years). This all seems to have manifested itself into a "might-as-well-just-wear-sweatpants-all-day-long-and-watch-Netflix" mentality. Not healthy. I have no interest in opening mail. In ordering seeds, or even for looking at nursery sites. I've kind-of lost interest in these things. I dont think that it's depression really, more like the fact that I feel as if I've grown everything and I cant find something new to be interested in. At least, that's what I'm telling myself. I am feeding the birds which is begining to really sound like a very old-man thing - (don't say it).  Still, I'm not doing much more.  Its really only a function. Thistle feeder is out again, dump more in. I'm not 'watching' the birds, which is probably worse now that I think about it. Guilt feeding. They eat alone, (which they probably like). I had little problem writing for the book however, so I suppose that is a good sign. Sitting in my office with the snow falling outside has been one of the most favorite things to do. Yet my problem still seems like that I don't feel like working, or not working for that matter don't dont feel like buying plants, nor watering the ones I have anymore either. Nothing seems interesting anymore, and I've lost confidence in what I am doing. This week our weather seems to have entered another phase -  bit milder (fingers-crossed that it sticks). With these more average temperatures (highs near freezing and lows in the 20's) much of the drama from the early weeks of January has passed. I even am beginning to think about the future more. I actually sowing a bit of seed today -some flats of mesclun.  I even smelled the first whiffs of the Sarcococca hookeriana in the greenhouse (which we need to grow in a pot here in Massachusetts - don't taunt me Oregon or North Carolina!). I'm good with the potted semi-tender shrubs like Sarcococca because under glass on a snowy, January day the greenhouse smells just like Tahiti (OK, more like early spring in the Himalaya - whatever...). It warms my soul and I kind of need that lately. At least it provided some hopefulness that I'll 'like it all' again.

Some casualties from the cold include this Canarina canariensis, but after following lots of chatter on the Pacific Bulb Society newsgroup, its bulb-like root may be OK. Many say that I should plant this tender geophyte that has gorgeous orange bell-shaped flowers like in this post, in the ground in my greenhouse, and it might do better. I'm going to try this. I need something to do.

A few freezes didnt hurt the South African bulbs. I kept the soil dry through most of January, which helps the cells expand in case there is a hard freeze. We had the coldest weather in over 100 years with a week of night temps below -12° F.

My book on vegetable gardenings is underway, mostly photo editing and writing at this phase. So, that has been my focus - choosing the best pics, researching at the library at the horticultural society and writing.

The cyclamen are sturdy fellows, able to withstand some very frosty nights with no harm. As long as the roots don't freeze the more tender species like C. graecum, I'm OK. I was able to fertilize them this week on my first visit out the greenhouse this year,.

South African bulbs really don't seem to mind the cold and the wet. These Babiana fragrans may bloom by springtime. As you can see, I never cleaned up the foliage from last season. It's very fibrous and tough and needs scissors to remove it in when the pot is dormant in mid-summer. I figure that this is what happens in the wild (there are no baboons out there cutting the dead foliage down, just digging and eating the bulbs). The iris-like flowers will be pretty though in a few weeks.

Citrus like these Calamondin oranges are blooming, even though half of the plant died from frost.

Other citrus are just not handling this winter all that well. This is what is left of my big Kumquat tree. Not a victim of frost however, but of a misplaced electric space heater.

Tropaeolim - tjhe vining, high-elevsation tuberous types from the Andes seem to relish this weather though. They look so tender and frail, with thread-like stems yet after the hot, summer dormancy, take off covering little trellis' in just a month - blooms will soon follow.

Tuberous Tropeolum grow from round tubers like potatoes. Here is a new species I am growng -  T. ciliatum, a tuber that I acquired from a collector in September. Its  growth is still small and weak. I think that it will appreciate being moved to a sunnier spot in the greenhouse now that it is getting warmer in there.

Another tropeolum species T. tricolor  looked completely dead, and I feared its late emergence meant that something ate the bulb, but it was just last winters growth that I hadn't cleaned up in the summertime (see a trend here?). Not watered since May, I noticed a bit of thread-like growth earlier this week, and after carefully removing the dead foliage found these new stems twirling around.

Last weekend the sun came out, so after journeying out into the greenhouse - sweatpants and all - I coudl see that most of the Dutch bulbs and South African bulbs were emerging. I moved them all to a sunny sand bed, watered them and in just a few days, things have come back to life.

Scilla messeniaca a lesser-known scilla is beginning to show its buds.

The camellias that were planted in the ground always seem to bloom well even in the coldest winters.  One snowy night in a blizzard two weeks ago the gas man wanted to see what I had in the greenhouse around 2 am, but I told him that it wasn't pot - but I could tell by his expression that he didn't believe me so, I shown a flashlight through the frosty glass and this thing was illuminated. He said "Wow, what the Hell is that?". "Not pot, I replied."

Camellias in pots are hardy too if the roots dont freeze. More sturdy than the insulating bubble wrap it seems.

The South African plants are remarkable cold hardy. This Erica 'Winter's Flame' is just starting to bloom.

Narcissus cantabricus, a native North African narcissus species blooms early in the greenhouse sand bed. It is sweetly fragrant - like cottoncandy (which reminds me - when was the last time I smelled cotton candy? It's sweetly scented like a vanilla candle from Target.).

If I was to grow one Nerine, it would be this one - N. alata or N. undulata. I have six stems in bloom this year. It too didnt seem to mind a few light frosts in early January.

The chili peppers didnt like the frost. And while many people keep some chili pepper plants from year to year for a while (like Chiltepin type), these probobly wont make it. I do have some Chiltepin and Tepin pepper plants in the house, however.

The biggest citrus I have is a massive tub planted with a Mandarin orange tree. It was hit by the blast of the propane furnice, and I fear that it wont recover.

Moving forward, I have all hopes that I am moving out of this funk I'm in.  No worries, I'm a pretty positive guy and maybe I just need a challenge. I can't tolerate 'meh' for long. You're probably thinking that I am just depressed.  Maybe - just a little, but most likely I'm not sleeping because I'm scared, bored and for some reason not motivated because of a combination of all of those things - which is probobly completely normal, right? After all - this is a big life change I'm going through over the next few momnths. With my severance runnings out in march health insurance is my greatest concern (Cobra?).  IT seems that there is no shortage of freelance projects and consulting on my doorstep, but just how much and how fruitful or consistant it will all be, I dont know. I dont do well with inconsistancy - you know, used to that pay check every two weeks. SOrry for thinking aloud here, but if you've read this far, you can probably see that this is just like therapy for me. Social therapy. I've never collected an unemployment check in my life either, but ick - I may have to. I just feel like a failure too I guess. Yet I promise to not let things get to me too much, this blog which I thought that I would have so much time to redesign and improve, will still go on.  I need to move forward and think about the garden again - and what's next on the horizon for my projects. I have jsut started thinking about my annual 'special projects' list, which is a bit overdue.  I am thinking about gladiolus again, a genus I have been putting off for a while now because dahlias got in the way - there are so many lovely crosses if you've even attended a gladiolus society show you know what I mean. Then there are fuschias to try again, but raising them in a different way - training them as standards or as large tubbed specimens, and then perhaps exploring how to create a mini-cut flower garden at home, designed to offer cut flowers for every week of the summer and fall, a mini-flower farm, if you will. Last year I was reminded of how great coleus looks in group containers, and I am imagining an entire collection of coleus - growing them in odd or creative ways - espalier comes to mind. - Asian gourds, a big chapter from my book has inspired me to try on a greater scale. Especially after visiting Chow's parents (a Vietnamese friend of mine) whos family grew so many types in their back yard near where I live. Those will definitely be on my grow list this year - including luffa, sponge gourds and bitter melon and how to grow them, because even though many of us know what a bitter melon looks like - who knows how to cook with them? I've learned this year, and want to share it. Oh yes, and dahlias. And sweet peas. And the tastiest tomatoes - Amy Goldman Fowler's great book THE HEIRLOOM TOMATO has reminded me that the tastiest ones are not any of the varieties I have grown in the past. Thank you Amy! Get it and read it closely - it's fabulously rich with information and well researched. See? I'll be OK. There are then other projects which failed once again that I want to retry until I master them. More about those later. Those potted tubs of 19th century Miognonette are going to be mastered - I know it.