#nah im shutting this shit down immediately

[nvuy]

im like itching for a boothill x single parent romance. LIKE WHAT IF they moved in next to boothill and everyones like "naww dont go near that guy hes scary and shit" but when kid sees boothill they get so intrigued by boothill they try to get close to him every time they see and hes just... scared? or paranoid, so he doesnt let them close. and then one time kid was still asking questions to boothill and stuff, parent was rushing looking for them, they see them, and then goes like "omf sir im so sorry my kid bothered you" and then boothill is like "nah its ok id do anyt- no what i mean we just met its cool btw lmao"

yk that one scene in a goofy movie where max get laughed at on the bleachers and then roxanne comes and picks him up and asks if he’s alright and then max starts babbling absolute gibberish yep

“So, how strong are you, mister?”

Boothill’s fingers are pressed against the girl’s tiny tiny hands. So small and little and squishy, and he seriously contemplated squishing her until she popped. His palm is cold against hers, and she giggles at the difference in size.

“Hmm…” He leans back on his heels in his squatting position in the front garden. He taps his chin in thought. “Don’t gotta clue. Anythin’ you need me to pick up?”

The girl gasps and there’s stars in her eyes. “Can you pick me up?” She stretches out her arms towards him.

He cracks a grin at her and ruffles her hair. “I dunno. You might be a bit heavy.” He’s teasing her, of course, but she pouts.

“At least try.”

“Alright, little lady.” He hooks his arms underneath hers and hoists her up easily, hands locked at her ribs. “How’s that? Good enough for ya?”

She hums thoughtfully, a cheeky smile on her face as she, too, taps her chin. “Now you gotta carry me for the entire day.”

It was his turn to pout. “N’aw. That’s no fair.”

“There you are!” There’s a rustle of footsteps and the jangling of keys to his left that made him stiffen for a moment, before your familiar face comes into view. Your eyes flit from him to your daughter. “I’ve been calling you for lunch.”

Oh, great Heavens.

“Hi, gorg– uh…” The ranger stumbles over his tongue and zips his lips shut when a small smile stretches into your lips. “We were– I was just– uh…”

Your daughter looks upset when Boothill gently places her back down in the grass.

“Just horsin’ ‘round,” he finishes. “I was just passin’ by, y’see? And your lil’ princess chased me down.”

You clear your throat, staring down at your shoes for a moment and trying to hide the heat rising from your neck to your face.

“I’m sorry about her,” you say to him. “She’s, um… hard to control.”

“That’s a good thing,” he whispers down to your daughter. “Means you got a free spirit.” He pokes her in the side and she giggles.

You give him another look and his eyes snap to the left, and a casual tune leaves his lips in the form of a whistle.

You offer a hand to the girl. “I made pasta.”

Your daughter practically barrels into your side, almost knocking you over with how her small arms wrap around your hips—she used to only be able to reach your knees. God, time flies.

Your eyes flit to the ranger once more. “Um… I made a lot so… if you’re hungry…” Your eyes trail down to his stomach before you swallow. “Do you get hungry?”

He studies your face for a moment with a pensive look.

Then, Boothill snorts. “Nah, sugar.”

Your face is burning. “Right. Well, you’re welcome to come in, anyway.”

“Oh, please have lunch with us!” your daughter all but begs. Her hands have now interlocked in front of her in a pleading gesture, and she’s offering him her most intense puppy eyes. “I can show you my room.”

He’s immediately swayed. “Well, it’s hard to say no to a cute thing like you.” He reaches down and pinches her cheek.

He watches you blink, perhaps taken aback for a moment.

He thinks you’re so beautiful, even if the apron you’re wearing is covered in sauce stains.

He almost starts cheering when you visibly perk up. “You’ll join us?”

“’Course! I’d do anythin’ for y–” He stops himself by digging his teeth into his tongue. “I mean… if ya insist.”

He can tell you’re biting the inside of your cheeks to keep yourself from smiling too wide. You pucker your lips and look elsewhere, face dark with blood.

Your daughter is strangely silent. He notices she’s enamoured with a bright blue butterfly floating along one of the bushes nearby.

“Cool.” You can’t think of anything else to really say. You rock on your heels absentmindedly. “I’d like that.”

His smile grows impossibly wider. “Would ya now?” He taps your nose once before he bends down to greet your daughter again. “Lead the way, little lady.”

“One sec,” you mumble, digging in your pockets.

You fumble for your ring of keys before you throw them quite badly at the cyborg. He manages to catch them well enough, fingers frozen over the steel.

Huh?

“It’s, um… the purple key. For the front door.”

Sure enough, one of the keys was coated in a deep purple.

Your daughter has already begun sprinting towards the front door. You’re half keeping a close eye on her through your peripherals, but your gaze wanders from her to watch him closely.

“I have a spare so… you can have it,” you continue slowly. Was this… too forward?

Boothill eyes you for a moment. A hand moves to his hips.

Then, in a flash, he pulls the purple key off of the ring it’s attached to and gently tosses it back at you. You struggle to catch them, but you manage with shaky hands and stuff them back into your pocket.

“‘Ppreciate it, pretty thing. You know just how to make a man swoon.”

He blows you a kiss with the steel to his lips and then tips his hat. He catches up with your daughter in no time, sweeping her off her feet and letting her slot the key in the lock to open the door.

You realise when he’s staring at you, one hand holding your own front door open expectantly, that you’re standing out in your front garden gawking at him like an idiot.

You quickly follow him inside, and he closes the door behind you. He’s quick to swing an arm around your waist when you guide him into the kitchen.

[yooniesim]

Idk what the reply to this says cos someone sent me this pic, but anon, you must not know how to read. I never said that "CF doesn't support genocide" or that anyone who promoted the boycott is wrong. They are right. I also never said I support CF, I gave many reasons why you shouldn't. And I actually gave additional info on how shady and deceitful Overwolf is being, by hiding behind their crowdfunding campaign, in an attempt to make the boycott more effective with more specific information.

Stop trying to sow discord among the people actually trying to make a change, and instead attempt to help. You are obviously just trying to spread information to get creators fighting among themselves instead of focusing on the true target, and that shit is not going to fly with me anymore. I've had too much bait in my inbox and seen too many textbook trolls like you. No one buys the "lol I just don't know whats going on!! I wanna get my facts straight!!!" act while saying the exact opposite of what was said. You know exactly what's going on, you're trying to start a fight between simblrs and get anons flooding to both of their inboxes, because you're obviously putting out bait hoping whoever you go to will believe you at face value and just spread your misinformation. But I'm cutting that shit off right here and now. Grow up.

[gardengirl222]

I need more 80's slasher!rafe plsss lene!! 😘

ohhhh shureee!!! 💞 sorry if there are any misspellings!

𐦍༘₊ ⊹ warnings! 18+ - p in v, non con, over stimulation, violence, death, spanking, knife play, dark!rafe - ₊˚⊹

"rafe, i'm tired my feet hurt and- i just wanna go home!"

"hey, i took you out on a nice date that you wanted me to take you on!" he yells, clearly frustrated at you. 

"i didn't even wanna go on a date with you! i only agreed to go with you because you won't take no for an answer and you'd kill any guy that talks to me!" you shout back. you shift you balance to the other leg making you trip on the uneven road with the stupid little heels he advised you didn't wear, telling you to 'just go comfortable'. you walk away from him when he doesn't answer and just looks at you furrowing his eyebrows and squinting his eyes.

"HEY! don't walk away from me when i'm talking to you!" he yells back much louder than before, causing you to freeze and almost twist your ankle with the way you halted. turning around to face him, his eyes meeting yours and not looking away as he stalks over to you. 

"you better watch your tone with me. don't ever say some shit like that again, take it back," he demands, staring down at you. he grabs your wrist with a bruising grip when you don't answer immediately. 

"let go-"

"nah, you know what? im gonna show you somethin'." he wraps his arm around your waist and picks you up over his shoulder, carrying you back to his truck. the silence of the small neighborhood is suddenly disrupted by your loud protests. yet nobody comes out to see what's causing the commotion because rafe has already thrown you into your seat and buckled you in. a knife gripped in one hand as he uses the other to drive, both of you sit in silence as he drives out into the middle of nowhere.

"rafe, where are we goin'?" you ask in a soft tone, hopefully, to get him to soften with you as well. 

"shut up." he doesn't look away from the road, eyes still focused straight ahead into darkness being slightly illuminated by the lights of his truck. 

rafe finally parks the truck just before the entrance of a dirt path so that the tire marks aren't printed on the dirt just in case. he leans over and unbuckles you, then gets out of the car to go around and help you out. 

"rafe i'm really sorry about what i said, i know you just want to spend time with me- but you're scaring me!" 

"jus' come with me." he holds onto your hand tightly, guiding you through the dark forest just before a swampy lake. 

"why are we here..." you whisper 

"i wanna show you somethin', baby look." he points to where an obviously pale dead body of a young man lay floating not too far from where you two are standing, left to be eaten by gators. 

"oh my god..." you cover your mouth with your hand, looking up at rafe with teary eyes. 

"that's the asshole who'd perv around the girl's locker rooms-"

"oh my god rafe!"

"no hey- i'm not done. he's also the asshole who had creepy little pictures of you taped in his locker, did you know that?" he maneuvers his hands around to grab onto the sides of your face to get you to look up at him. 

"i got him to drive here, n'i got rid of him for you babyface, because i'm a good boyfriend right?" 

"you did this today?" you whisper.

"right before our date..." he whispers back.

you can bring yourself to do anything, tears rolling down your cheeks, he sighs and lets go of your face, running his hands through his hair. your body acting faster than your mind, taking the opportunity to make a run for it and find a way to call for help not even knowing what you are doing anymore. 

"jesus, you better get back here now!!! i'm not in the mood to play around!!" he shouts, pulling his knife out of his pocket and already chasing after you. you run as fast as you really can with the heels, heart beating so loud that's all you can hear. 

tripping over your heels again, your knees hit the dirt. you quickly throw off the heels leaving your white filly lace socks to get dirtied. 

"little bitch, didn't i tell you not to wear those stupid little heels....hmm?"

you shut your eyes after hearing his voice, knowing it's too late now. he bends down to you on the floor and lifts your chin up with the tip of his knife. tsking when he meets your eyes, manhandling you on your hands and knees, lifting your little skirt, and cutting off your panties making you shiver at how the cold air of the night hits your bare pussy. 

"rafe- no! m'sorry...m'really sorry!!" you whimper, closing your eyes shut when you feel his bulge in his pants pressing against your thigh. 

"have'ta put you in your place, cause like where the fuck do you get off runnin' away from me like that huh?" 

"i said i was sorry, please!" you sob, though you don't see him, rafe nods and presses the side of your face down into the dirt and pulls his thick hard cock out to press against your entrance. you scream when you start to feel the stretch, tears continuing to run down your face. to shut you up he stops for a second and stuffs your torn panties into your mouth to muffle your screams, then goes back to pushing himself in balls deep. 

"better quit it with the attitude, that's not how good girls are supposed to act. can't you see how much i love you? i kill for you princess and all i get in return is your fucking attitude?!!" he scoffs with a laugh, now starting a brutal pace, pounding into your poor puffy cunt with no time to really adjust to his size.

"jus' want you to be my good girl 'n listen to me cause i know what's best for you."

the only thing heard is the sound of his balls slapping against your clit, his groans, and your pathetic whimpers muffled by the piece of cloth in your mouth. a loud smack then ringing in your ears as he slaps your ass so hard it burns and leaves a sting that lingers when he grips the flesh in his big rough hands. you squeeze your eyes shut and tighten your pussy around him, screaming around the gag. he shushes you with an "easy girl, eaaasy" and smacks the same spot again, feeling how your ass cheek starts to get hot due to his assault.

"you gonna be good now? hm?" he taunts, taking the panties covered in your drool out of your mouth. 

"yes-yes! yes rafe, m'sorry." you breathe out, your hands clawing at the grass and dirt. 

“i know, i know...thaaaat's my girl, cream all over me." he can feel how close you are and how your cunt is starting to pulse around him harder. he reaches his arm around your waist and brings his thumb to rub fast circles on your clit making your eyes roll back and immediately cum all over his fat cock, squeezing him and leaving a white ring on the base of his dick.

 "atta girl." he doesn't lessen the assault on your body, continuing to pound into you and rub your clit to overstimulate you, causing you to weakly thrash around. 

"when you struggle it jus' makes your pussy tighter princess." he grips your hips to keep you from moving around too much, feeling like he can barely move at how tight you are clamping down on him. 

"stop- no more rafey, no more i can't." you mewl. 

"shhhh, juuus' one more i know you can do it baby."

he rams into you, his cock so thick stretching you out, you're moaning at how warm and good he feels in you that your brain just shuts off. 

"tell me you love me n' i'll let you cum. wanna hear you say it." he stops rubbing your clit and pulls your hips to be closer to him.

"can't- can't!!!" you whine all cock drunk.

"no, i know you can. c'mon..." he grunts and pushes your face into the dirt, keeping you there.

"i love- i love you rafe, love you so much!" you scream when you feel the bulge in your tummy and his tip kissing your cervix. 

"i love you too baby." satisfied he brings his hand back to rub your clit hard and fast. you moan out with your mouth open in an o shape, you cum for the second time. your hear your heartbeat in your ears as he spreads your ass painfully with a rough grip to watch how his cock goes in and out of your twitching cunt. 

"such a pretty pussy..." he grins, he pushes in one last time hard and fills you to the brim with his cum. panting he pulls out letting his cum drool out of your spent hole and that's the last thing you remember before losing all feeling and passing out. 

[aemvnd]

mean!Rafe trying to make it fit?

𝓇.cameron. ┆ mean.

◟ ㅤᡣ𐭩ㅤㅤ ݁.﹒ sry this is so short, im jus' lowkey imagining rafe stuffing it inside n' bein' all condescendingly sweet n' shit 😶

"c'mon baby, you can take it for daddy, can't you?" rafe would drawl teasingly, carefully sliding the swollen tip of his cock up and down along your glossy, puffy folds, making you whine as he continues to grind the tip of his leaking cock against your overstimulated clit, then down to your quivering, dripping hole.

"daddy!" you mewl femininely, fat tears clouding your vision as your boyfriend began to slowly, almost gently start pushing the head of his cockhead inside of your sopping cunt, a low groan escaping rafe's slightly parted lips as he tries to control his breathing—but fuck, you're so tight around him and so wet, so fucking hot and tight, it feels like you're suffocating his cock.

"let me in, baby—thaat's it," rafe chuckles breathlessly above you, holding the base of his cock firmly as he tries pushing his way further inside of your virgin cunt—and god, you feel so fucking perfect, fluttering around his cock and trying desperately to thrust your hips down to make his cock slip into you deeper.

needy little slut, rafe thinks with a smirk.

rafe tuts, quickly slapping your dainty, french manicured hand away as you tried gripping his cock to stuff it inside of yourself.

"greedy girl," rafe teases, while slowly pushing his cock in until it was just halfway in, hearing your quiet sigh of relief.

"oh, daddy! you made it fit?" you slur dreamily, happily not even realizing that rafe still had more of his cock to fuck into you, making him chuckle breathlessly to himself.

"nah, nah, baby… still got just a bit more—" rafe answers condescendingly, cooing sweetly at the tears that instantly begin to stream down your pretty, flushed cheeks, making you appear like a little doll.

hearing this, you begin to silently panic, your cunt was clenching uncontrollably, your limbs tightening up in distress, and as soon as these pesky feelings began to overwhelm you, rafe immediately snapped you out of it by reaching up and giving your damp cheek a nice little love-tap.

you whine at the tiny slap, but immediately your misty, doe-like eyes turn hazy, your brain shutting down and allowing rafe to think for you as usual—such a good girl for him.

"hey, hey… a'ight, you're fine," rafe tells you, his voice a deep baritone and stern, his steel blue eyes gazing down at you intensely as he looks down at you with lusty eyes, and something else that makes his heart swell—but he'll never talk about it… at least, not yet anyways.

rafe's eyes dip down and relish in the way your sloppy, swollen cunt was gripping him, drooling all down his shaft and down your sweet little ass—and fuck, rafe didn't think you could get any more perfect.

"this pussy is mine," rafe comments mostly to himself, before looking up at you once again for confirmation, and once he gets it, he starts pushing in more and more and more, hearing your girlish cries and your soft, breathy whimpers of pain mixed with endless pleasure.

"there you go, pretty girl," rafe purrs deeply, his cock pulsing and twitching as he pushed inside of you all of the way—it was a snug fit, perhaps a bit too tight, but nothing rafe cameron couldn't handle.

"taking dad's cock so well," he croons, his eyes darkening.

you blink up dreamily at your ravenous boyfriend, being a whiny, needy mess for him, your little hands reaching up to grab at any part of your boyfriend, your kiss-swollen lips forming into a cute pout when he simply stilled inside of you, allowing you to adjust to his massive girth splitting you open, but just for a split second.

and then, rafe slowly pulled out until just the leaking tip of his cock was stuffed inside, before thrusting in so hard, you swore you saw stars, your lips falling open as high-pitched, breathy moans began leaving your lips every time rafe pounded into you, claiming every inch of you—inside and out.

"fuck, baby—you're so fucking tight," rafe growled, burying his face into your exposed tits, kissing and licking and sucking marks all over your puffy little nipples, wanting nothing more than to claim you as his.

"oh, rafe! p-please, please, n-need you… harder, please," you wailed wantonly, feeling as though you couldn't even catch your breath—it was too much, too, too much.

"didn't i tell you, baby?" rafe asked with a small smirk, his steel blue eyes shining with amusement and something else, something darker, "i told you i'd make it fit."

[dilfl0v3rss]

im tryna see how ony dealed wit connie😁

nice and slow

continuation of ours

cw: m x m, ony cleaning his gun

word cound: 2.8k words

── ⋅⋅⋅ ────꒰ ୨ ♡ ୧ ꒱───────

days have went by since ony told connie that he’d be “delt with” and he was starting to feel like he was off the hook. ony would still wake him in the morning with a kiss and he'd still act like his normal self throughout the day. "maybe he forgot" connie thought to himself as he eyed him from the other side of the living room. there he was, quietly cleaning his gun while he watched videos with his phone laid on his lap. his shirt probably on your small figure as he sat in just his pajama pants and durag. "need sum baby?" he didn't even need to move his head to know that his boyfriend was staring.

connies eyes widened a little as he continued to breathlessly stare at his lover. "when somebody say sum to you, its polite to answer." ony sucked his teeth, looking up from his phone with a pointed look that was shot directly at connie. "n-nah...nah m'good pa" a kind smile bloomed on his pink lips to sell the act that he's not panicking in his mind right now. why is he acting so normal? "shouldn't you be gettin ready right now anyways? you said you was gon drop suge off at mikasas for her lil spa day/sleepover shit."

before connie could reply, he was interrupted by your sweet voice. "m'ready papiii" you came down the steps with your duffle bag on your shoulder, letting it plop on the ground before walking to ony and giving him a kiss on the cheek. when your eyes met connie's pajama wearing figure you sucked your teeth. "babyyy why aren't you dressed. i don't wanna be late to miki's because of youuu" you whined, stomping your feet to add exaggeration.

connie gave you a stern look, making you stop instantly before getting up and grabbing his keys from his coat hung up at the door. "cut that shit out or you not going at all. ion need to be dressed if m'just dropping you off and coming back home." you shut up immediately, letting connie give you a kiss before you began walking quietly to the car while he carried your bag. "i can't get a kiss too?" ony mumbled, stopping connie dead in his tracks before he turned around. "my fault pa" he mumbled as he made his way to the couch, leaning down to give his boyfriend a kiss on the forehead.

his dick jumped in excitement when ony grabbed him by the neck and gave him a sloppy kiss on the lips. his long tongue quickly winning dominance over connies as his grip on his neck grew tighter. strings of spit connected the two as ony moved his face back to speak. "drive safe" was all he said before loosening his grip, letting connie stand up straight before he replied. "i will pa, see you" ony's focus was put back on his gun as he listened to the front door close.

the drive to mikasa's was about twenty minutes there and back, but connie made sure to drive real slow so his boyfriend didn't get a notification that he was speeding. "bye babyyyy, see you tomorrowww!" you squealed before giving your boyfriend and quick kiss and practically sprinting out the car before he could reply. he chuckled at your excited little body jumping for joy at you knocked on mikasa's door. connie waited for you to go inside before driving back home.

as he walked in the door he noticed that ony was nowhere to be seen in the living room. his gun cleaning supplies were still laid out on the table as he walked deeper into the house. connie made his way to his room where he saw ony sitting on the edge of the bed. "was looking for you. what you doin?" his dark brown eyes gave connie a bone chilling stare as he toyed with the ring on his middle finger. "waiting for you...c'mere pretty boy lemme talk to you real quick."

ony bent his fingers in a come hither motion, making his lover's body move towards him on instinct. connie stood in between ony's legs as he leaned back on the bed, inked chest on full display for his light brown eyes to ogle. "you know you still in trouble right?" connie nodded his head. he never stopped thinking about what his boyfriend had in store for him, but now he doesn't have to anymore. todays the day he gets what he's been dreading.

"listen, ian mean to-" "sh sh sh...let papa do the talking aight? you just gon get yourself into more trouble and you don't want that now, do you?" connie quickly shook his head as he watched ony rise from his seat on the bed. connie was tall, standing at about 6'2. but ony was a little taller, larger frame standing in front of him as he licked his lips before moving to the side. "take allat shit off and lay down f'me." connie slowly removed his hoodie and tee shirt before toying with the waistband of his pajama pants.

ony grew annoyed at his slow pace, grabbing him by the back of the neck before pulling his ear towards his mouth. "hurry the fuck up or ima rip it." connies hands moved quickly, pulling down his pajama pants and letting his hard dick spring free. he didn't like to sleep with underwear so his boxers were nowhere to be seen. he lied down on his back while watching ony begin to crawl up towards him, sitting in between connies legs as he ran his big hands over his chest, purposely neglecting the leaking red tip near his belly button.

"what you supposed to do when i tell you something?" ony whispered, leaning over connies body with his hand resting right by his head as his free hand played with his nipples. "im 'posed to lis...listen papa...fuck" he stuttered as the large hand wrapped around his dick. ony began slowly stroking him, occasionally rubbing his thumb over his leaking tip as connies back arched off the bed. "mhmm but you aint do that, did you? nahh, you was being greedy." his pace quickened, heat running through connies dick as he thrusted himself into ony's hand to bring his release closer.

"just like you are right now. not being my good boy." connie groaned as the frictions stopped. ony sat on his knees as he freed his dick from his pants. "y-you gon prep me right?" a fearful expression on his light brown face as he looked at his boyfriends girthy dick. ony chuckled as before sticking two of his thick fingers in connies mouth. "m'not a monster, baby." the smaller man sighed in relief as he let his tongue swirl all over his fingers. spit falling down the sides of his mouth as ony continued to thrust them in and out of his wet cavern.

as he removed his fingers from connies mouth with a pop, ony groaned at the sight in front of him. plump spit soaked lips shining in the dim light of the room as his lover lay naked in the middle of the bed. pretty ink dancing along his fit body as his dick leaked precum onto his stomach. "you so sexy baby. making me wanna skip all this shit and fuck you right now." connie didn't get the chance to reply before ony rubbed his wet middle finger on his tight hole.

wetting it before breaching it lightly with half of his middle finger. "f-fuck pa" light brown hand instantly flying towards his wrist to stop his movements. ony's eyes snapped towards connies, giving him and stern look that made a shiver run down his spine. "you know better than t'be doin that, handsome. move or ima cuff you." he slowly moved his hand away, balling them into tight fists before ony decided it was a good time to add a second finger.

spit traveling from ony's mouth down to connie's light brown hole, giving him more lubricant to move his fingers deeper. he dug into connie slowly, giving his boyfriend the time he needs to adjust. "how it feel pretty boy?" connies eyes rolled to the back of his skull, back arching as he moaned at the stretch. "hmm? talk t'me baby...can i fuck you now?" ony was always soft with connie when it came to prepping him. knowing that it is not an easy process and it could be painful if not done correctly. "y-yea daddy go head."

he smiled at the name, knowing that it was only used when his boyfriend was feeling especially vulnerable. "good boy" ony got up to grab a bottle of lube before rubbing it all over his dick, applying some to connies tight hole as well for safe measures. he watched his face closely as he sunk into him inch by inch. light brown hands gripping onto his shoulders as connie moaned from the stretch. "shhittt...fuck fuck fuck." ony started at a slow pace, stroking him deeply while leaving small kisses on the tears that fell from his eyes.

"i know bae. i hear you, but you been bad, remember?" "w-wait da lemme...auughh shi-i-ittt." his pace quickened and before connie knew it he was being pounded into the mattress. all eight inches of ony's dick being shoved in and out of his tight hole. he wrapped his hand around connies neck, other hand wrapping around his dick before jerking him quickly as he fed him hard strokes. "when i tell you t'do sum...move your fuckin hand...you gon listen. aint that right handsome?" connies wrists were now trapped by ony's big hand, arms bound over his head as he continued to take the vigorous strokes from his boyfriend.

"y-YES...i’ll listen daddy furreal." connie’s hips bucked into ony’s hand as he squeezed his dick tighter, continuing to stroke his aching red tip. connie was on the brink of his orgasm, lip tucked behind his teeth as he threw his head back in the sheets. ony felt him twitching in his hand, light sheen of sweat making his light brown chest glisten. as soon as he felt connie getting too close he let him go, pulling out as he whined for him not to stop. "wait m'right ther-" "ion care connie. turn over and put your ass up." he quickly turned around, laying his palms flat on the sheets without complaint in hopes that he'd be rewarded with at least one orgasm.

ony wasted no time thrusting back into him fully, dark brown hand shoving his inked back down as connies arms bent next to his head. "y'know how i like it baby. keep that ass in the air for me while daddy makes you feel good." his brutal pounding made tears fall from connies pretty brown eyes, wetting the sheets directly below his face along with his spit. ony kept his hand on the back of connie's pretty inked neck, pushing his face deeper into to cushion as he spoke lowly from behind him. "ion like punishing you handsome. supposed t'be my good boy so ion have t'be mean."

connies words were muffled before ony pulled him up by his neck, wrapping his hand around the front of his throat as he pulled his lover back towards his chest. "m-m'sorry daddy. ima listen t'you furreal..shit..ima d-do whatever you say" a smirk crept onto his lips at his boyfriends words, other hand sliding to the front of his body and caressing his stomach before jerking his pretty dick quickly. "anything i want?" connie nodded his head instantly as he moaned from the added pleasure. ony's pace quickened, hips slamming so hard that the loud, wet slaps could be heard from all over the house.

ony felt his orgasm approaching so he slowed his thrusts. idea popping up in his head to really teach connie his lesson. "stroke yourself pretty boy. want you t'do it real slow until daddy says you can speed up, understand." he was giving him another chance at following orders and connie hated it. but instead of defying him and getting fucked up even more, he slide ony's hand off his dick before replacing it. stroking himself slowly as his boyfriend matched his pace inside of him.

long dick kissing the deepest parts of him as hot wet tears flowed down his cheeks. "uhh huh. nice and slow" ony watched connie over his shoulder as he stroked himself at a steady pace. singing praises to connie as he obeyed the command he struggled to comply with last time. "such a good boy f'me. just a little longer and ill let you cum baby." his dark brown hand grabbed the bottom of connies face, turning him towards him before giving him a sloppy kiss. spit dribbling down the sides of both of their mouths, leaving connie breathless as he continued his slow pace with his hand. "open up handsome"

pink lips instantly parting as ony's spit slid from his tongue to connie's. "and swallow allat shit." on instinct the spit disappeared down his throat before he opened his mouth to show him that it was truly gone. "mhm good boy. you wanna cum?" moans and begs flew from connies mouth in an instant, the need for release clouding his brain as he fucked himself back on ony's dick slowly. "p-please" ony's hand replaced connies smaller one. quickly stroking him as began snapping his hips into his ass with vigor.

"gon head pretty boy. make a mess f'me" light brown eyes rolled to the back of his skull as connie's hot ropes of cum shot all over the sheets. “ooouuu fuckkk.” the last of it eventually slidding down his shaft and all over ony's hand before he felt his lover pull out of him. jerking himself as he came all over his back. "next time i tell you to do sum you better listen. or youll be right back here, understand me?"

"o-okay pa i hear you."

ony ran connie a hot bath. changing the sheets and making him some tea before having his lover come out and get dressed. "drink this and rest for the night" night? a gasp escaped from connies lips as he noticed that it was already dark outside. "y'hear me?" ony's voice snapped him out of his thoughts before he replied. "huh? yea ill rest pa."

~the next morning~

connie woke up noticing ony wasn't in bed with him. he made his way downstairs to be met with a beautiful sight before him. shirtless chest on full display as his lover drank orange juice straight from the bottle. "man that is so trifling" connie chuckled as his boyfriend jumped in surprise. moving the bottle from his lips before giving him a smirk. "i be spitting in your mouth no problem and you worried about my mouth being on the bottle?"

a blush crept on connies face, shifting his gaze in embarrassment. "that's different" "yea its worse." ony cut him off before walking past him to reclaim his seat in the living room. "suge on her way home right now to grab some shit. she gon stay over there for another night." connie nodded his head as he slowly sat down next to his boyfriend, wincing as he felt the cushion touch his ass. "fuck" ony chuckled before scooting over closer to his pouting boyfriend. "come" he patted his lap for connie to lay his head over.

connie quickly took the invitation, lying his head on his lover's lap and putting his feet on the couch to ease the pressure on his sore lower half. "good morninggggg!!" you squealed as you busted through the door, giving connie a quizzical look before smirking to yourself. "oh he fucked your shit upppp" you giggled as connie rolled his eyes at your teasing. "yea and you next if you don't shut that shit up. leave my big baby alone" you smiled lovingly at the two of them, choosing not to piss ony off before you end up like your other boyfriend. ass hurting and body worn the hell out. you grabbed what you needed before heading out the door. "love y'all! ill be home tomorrowww!!!" with that you closed the door, leaving the two of them alone again.

ony turned on the tv, putting on connie's favorite show as he played with his short hair. "if it still hurts later i can kiss it better for you pretty boy. y'know im real good wit my tongue" connies eyes widened at his boyfriends lewd words, making his stomach tingle at the thought. ony didn't even look away from the tv as he shamelessly spoke to him. he was so nasty. "maybe" connie mumbled, his lover finally looked down at him, dark brown eyes meeting his lighter ones befofe giving him a smile. "i love you" "love you more pa"

[modelbus]

I’m obsessed with the way u write Tommy, the witty dialogue is so >>>> lately I’ve been fixated on the drunk MCC video so if you’d like to write a oneshot based on that it would be super appreciated! Reader probably takes beky’s spot so they’re on the same team, and the more drunk they get the more affectionate and distracted they get and the chat is just eating it up teehee

I actually had to hunt down the video because I haven’t seen it… for anyone curious the video is called “Minecraft But I’m Drunk”!

Pairing: Cc!Tommyinnit x Gn!Reader

Flirting Fools

“IM JUST KEN, WHEN I SEE LOVE I SEE YOUR BALLS—“

The cider you were drinking—same one that Tommy had stocked up on—ends up on your monitor rather than down your throat. Whose idea was it to do a drunk MCC again? Oh, yeah, Tommy fucking Innit.

“Why can’t you say hello like a normal person?” You sigh, wondering if Tommy even has his headphones on.

“Y’know, I want to watch the woman movie but my girlfriend insists I see it with her and I haven’t had the chance.” Jack says, speaking up.

“Oh, Jack, you have a girlfriend?” Tommy asks.

“Acting like you aren’t dating someone too.” You say pointedly, giving a deadpan look to your camera.

“Because you’re amazing! The El-Oh-Em-El! Love of my life!”

“Never spell an acronym out loud again.” You plead.

“What’s an acronym?”

Tubbo’s laugh in the background seems more like a cry of help.

-

“We’re dropping like Fortnite!” Jack exclaims just as the floor vanishes from under you and everyone is out into elytra mode.

“Shit wait we’re playing Fortnite? We playing Fortnite?” Tommy immediately hops on the joke, and you mentally tune him out.

“I love Fortnite!” Jack agrees eagerly. Twenty seconds later, he dies. “I fucking hate Fortnite!”

“I died too.” You inform him, picking up the can of alcoholic cider to take a drink.

“WAIT!” Tommy screeches. “Cheers! Cheers with me!”

You raise your drink to your camera, assuming Tommy is doing the same in his office. Afterward, Tommy slurps his drink far too close to his mic.

“I’m gonna vomit.” Tubbo declares.

“Don’t back down and give up, that’s some shit Kenergy.”

-

“Guys, I just bought myself a pack of ‘Colon the Caterpillar’ and if we win MCC I’ll open them.” Tommy’s voice announces during the loading between games. Do you know what that means? No. Do you want some? Fuck yes.

“Share. Share? Share?” You ask, taking another sip of your drink.

“Come over babygirl.” Tommy answers you. For a second, there’s a complete pause in the call. “…I’m going to kill myself.”

“What the FUCK?” Jack shouts.

“Tom, Tom— never say that again.” Tubbo pleads, are you’re inclined to agree.

“Maybe just… keep your mouth shut.” You advise Tommy.

-

“Oh, Jesus, it’s harder to stream when the— when.” Tommy says, quite eloquently.

“Ah, yes, I when the when all the time with you.” You agree.

“We are when the when-ers.”

“Can you two shut up?” Jack asks.

-

You grit your teeth, groaning when a player kills you, picking up your drink again. Slowly but surely, you’re getting drunker and drunker. So much for not having a hangover tomorrow.

“We’ve literally gotta get this dub guys or I don’t get my sweets.” Tommy reminds everyone. “Why is talking like fuckin’ on extreme difficulty?”

“Is it?” You ask idly, taking another drink just for fun.

“Worse than when I’m kissin’ you and shit.” He confirms.

“Stop making Tubbo and I the third wheel.” Jack pleads.

You grin, laughing. “Nah.”

-

“Listen to me now! Look me in the eyes!” Tubbo says, his character moving to stand directly in front of Tommy’s. “You’re my best friend okay and we’ll get you through this.”

“Tom, Tommy, Toms, listen to me.” You giggle, moving to stand next to Tubbo. “You are my boyfriend. And I will not get you through this.”

“Okay, fuck, well I gotta listen to you. Sorry Tubbo.”

“Oh.”

-

“I’m gonna get the coins in the middle!” After his declaration, Tommy sprints to the middle platform and starts mining away at the yellow coin block.

“Jesus fuck, At least wait!” You sigh, shooting a random person.

“Wha— how are you getting them?” Jack agains, laughing wildly. “How is that working?”

“Cause I’ve got backup! My backup’s the best!” Tommy responds, turning in circles.

“You know I’ve always got your back.” You answer.

“Cause you’re cool like that. You got the moves like Jagger.”

“That I do, Tom Simons. That I do.”

-

“Y’know what? It makes me quiet.” Tommy gives no context, leaving you on your own to puzzle out that he’s talking about being drunk.

“Huh? We literally got plastered that one time and you wouldn’t shut up.” You disagree.

“Well, yeah, ‘cause it was you.”

“What does that even mean?”

“Means I like talking to you, bitch.”

“And you don’t like talking to me?” Jack asks. “Oh, yeah, I see how it is.”

“I got priorities man!” Tommy defends himself.

“Priorities being…?” You question, giggling.

“You.”

-

“I’ve got to say, I think there’s a huge lack of focus on the team.” Jack says, coughing pointedly.

“I think I’ve got to agree with you Jack.” Tubbo hums.

“Yeah, and it ain’t us Tubbo.”

“The fuck you saying about me and my boyfriend?” You ask, splash potion of harming in your hand. “You wanna fucking repeat that?”

“No no no no— you guys are great! Teen love— TUBBO RUN—“

-

“Tommyinnit meet and greet on the rocks outside the pier in Brighton at 1am?” Tommy asks. “Any muggers don’t go there though.”

“I’ll go with. Mug both of us.” You offer.

“Yeah, we team that shit. Power of love right there.”

“Love lets people get mugged together?” Jack laughs.

“Not all love Jack.” Tommy corrects.

“Just ours.” You agree with Tommy. “Our love is special, Jack.”

“Oh, it’s certainly something.”

-

Sands of Time has you immediately frowning at the screen and taking another drink. It’s such a shit game, it deserves to be drank to.

“I went to the bathroom guys and I was just like oh by the way…”

There’s a second where you, Tubbo, and Jack wait for Tommy to finish his sentence. He doesn’t.

“‘Oh by the way’ what?” Jack finally asks.

“Oh— oh, I just stopped.” Tommy laughs. Cackles, more like.

“Oh by the way I’m coming over to your place after?” You ask him.

“Really? We can watch that new movie you’ve been wanting to see, if you want.” He doesn’t even blink at the subject change.

“Works for me. Might be a bit before I sober enough to not get murdered in the streets though.”

“I’ll just come get you, love.”

“You’re drunker than me.”

“I’ll scare everyone off with my many muscles.”

“Do you even have one?” Tubbo asks. “One muscle?”

“Many manly muscles.” Tommy doubles-down.

“I’ll just walk.” You sigh.

-

“Guys stop calling me ‘daddy Tommy’ I’m clearly a twink.”

“Tom?” You ask.

“Yeah?”

“Shut up, please.”

“Whatever you say!”

-

<Tommyinnit> Tubbo kisses his cousins

“I do not!” Tubbo exclaims, outrage painting his voice.

“I’ve seen Tubbo bare-lipsing his cousins.” Jack argues immediately.

“Have you?” You ask Jack.

“I’d kiss you even if you were my cousin.” Tommy says to you. “That’s how much I love you.”

“You’d what?”

“No, cause it’s my love.”

“Tom, man, I think it’s time for you to be done.” Jack says wisely.

“Well, no, cause what’s wrong with what I said?”

“So many things. So so many things.”

-

When you blink your eyes open the next morning, everything is hazy and painful. A throbbing headache makes you immediately close your eyes against the bright sunlight of morning, only for you to try again a few moments later.

There's a weight thrown across your middle; upon further inspection, it's Tommy's arm. Heavy and warm, and also keeping you trapped next to him.

"Tom." You groan, knowing that you need some water and Aspirin. He probably does too, considering he definitely drank more than you. "Tom, please."

He mumbles something, barely relenting his grip on you. It's just enough so that you can stretch across the bed to grab your phone from the charger. There's a few messages from friends checking up on you and Tommy (including a shit ton from Wilbur that you're just going to... ignore...) but you swipe open social media.

Only to immediately close it when you realize that you and Tommy are trending for what happened during MCC last night. Although it could very well also have been from the photo Tommy posted of you two kissing, to be fair.

"Stop moving." Tommy groans, pressing his face into your shoulder.

"We need Aspirin and water." You tell him. "And we're trending on Twitter."

"No." His hold on you tightens. "Five more minutes."

You know damn well five minutes will be ten, then thirty, then two hours, but you relent either way.

"Five more minutes."

[pyr0x10n]

vaquero kyle 😍 (the reader forced him to dress like that, bro was not having it)

The main 4 are at a qunice (do wtv you want with this bit)

After awhile reader gets horny and stupid and takes Kyle to the bathroom to do 'stuff' :3

bc he looks SOSO good in his outfit

I have a really bad thing for shit like this idk why

Nah because he’s be so done when you ask him to dress like that 💀

————

Mi Vaquero<3

————

Genre: Fluff + Smut

Synopsis: Vaquero Kyle‼️‼️ y horny reader obvi 😝

Kyle Broflovski x f!reader

————

“I cant believe i actually did this..” Kyle sighed, frustrated. “It’s fun! And plus, you get to see part of my culture!” You laughed. “Why did they have to tag along, AND WHY IS KENNY IN A DRESS!?” He pointed at Kenny, who was checking himself out in a dress. “ “Él solo es parte de las damas!” “Huh?” “Nothing.” You smiled innocently. “Damn I look hot.” Kenny grinned.

“Anyways, who’s this quinceañera for anyways?” Kyle asked, as the cumbia started playing. “Oh, just my cousin.” You said, looking for your phone in your purse.

“Oh, okay. Well, what’s going to happen?” Kyle asked. “You’ll see, just, follow my lead. The boys can find their way around.” You giggled, and Kyle started to get a little nervous.

“What if I ruin it all!? What if I accidentally spill something? What if I ruin the- I don’t know!” He was starting to panic, and you brought your lips to his. “You’ll be fine, hun. I promise.” You smiled at him.

“BUT IM JEWISH-!” “KYLE JUST TRUST ME.” “HOW!???” “JUST THIS ONCE BABY!?” “Fine.” “Yay.” “….” “…”

“Prima!” You heard a voice yell. “Ah, there’s the girl.” You smiled at the girl who was now fifteen. Kyle just watched behind as you two talked about things.

“Oh, my mom’s calling me.” She said, and then waved, walking away.

“That’s your cousin?” Kyle asked. “Yep, the one and only.” You sighed.

“Well, c’mon, we gotta go out! The boys already went out, so we should too!” You said and grabbed Kyle’s hand, running out of the dressing room and out into the area.

“Oh shit- (Y/n) calm down!!” He said, slightly panicked. “Shh, c’mon, dance with me, vaquero!” You said, now having both of his hands in yours. He was now calming down, as you two danced to the cumbia romántica.

(Murder me, but I have no idea what else to write, sooo…)

You guys have been here for only a few hours,

Yet you were so unbelievably horny.

Just because of Kyle rocking that outfit. He had you blushing without even knowing.

“Hey Kyle..” you mumbled, tugging on his belt.

“Hm? Yeah, baby? What’s up?”

“Can you bring me to the room really quick.. it’s really hot..” you asked.

“Uh, sure?” He knew what was going on, he’s just teasing.

You grabbed his hand and let him to the gust bedroom, when the door closed, he locked it and you immediately laid your head on his chest, sighing.

“Kyle I need you..”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm..”

Kyle laughed at your neediness, as you started taking his belt off. He pulled you into a kiss, and you felt yourself getting wetter and more pathetic by the second.

You need him.

You pulled away and took his pants down, slowly due to the lightheaded feeling you had. He connected his lips to your neck, kissing the exposed area. You lowly moaned but he covered your mouth.

“You don’t want your family hearing your sounds, right angel?” He asked as you got on top of him and shook your head. “No..” “then shut your pretty mouth, would you baby?” He commanded, and you nodded. You just needed him in you.

You put your panties to the side and aligned yourself with him, and slowly brought yourself down to his dick. He pulled you in a kiss to muffle out your moans.

It took some time, but you finally got used to his size and started riding him.

Man we’re you in for a looooong ride ;)

————

Necesito ayuda 😨

[isackwhy]

Angry isaacwhy headcanons 😝😝

idk if u mean towards u or other things so i mixed it :)

angry! isaacwhy hc’s

first off, this man is a hot head (me too gang)

you’ve seen him mad plenty of times but whenever he is mad he makes sure none of it is directed towards u

like for example that pizza incident where he thought yumi or larry took his slices of pizza

he never accused u once and everytime u came up to him he’d take a deep breath and speak as softly as u could

until he grabbed larry by the legs and flipped him upside down and u yelled at him

“isaac! what the hell are you doing? stop! it’s just pizza.”

he just takes a deep breath, nostrils flared and walks back into the kitchen

he’s the eldest sibling he has a lot of pent up anger

let’s just say one of the boys pissed him off some way somehow

he’ll rant to u about it and ur able to keep him calm

not in like a “this isn’t u” bs way

u just being there helps

if he IS mad at u (very rare) he stills speaks as calm as possible, even when his voice is slightly raised or urs is

once he can feel himself getting more annoyed, he walks away. giving himself distance

he won’t say anything to hurt ur feelings but he doesn’t want u to see him that mad if it’s towards u

one time u him and nick were chilling in the living room and they started to discuss random topics.

nick poked fun at isaac a few too many times in some sore subjects and it led to isaac snapping first and then nick telling him to calm down

that only pisses him off more

“no—you’re bringing up shit that doesn’t need to be brought up—“

“you’re getting worked up over nothing, man.”

“nick, just stop,” u try and warn nick but the 2 best friends just yell at each other

they’re in each others faces and ur telling them to stop and ur scared they’re actually gonna fight

u stop the fight between them by dragging isaac away and telling him to shut the fuck up

if someone else messes w u and he finds out??

lord

he’s thinking of the worst pranks to do to them

now if someone pulls some shit in FRONT of him to u

like a girl being a bitch at a party or a karen or kevin having some audacity

he knows u can handle urself but he’s immediately telling them to cut it the fuck out and walk off

“nah. nah. we’re not doing that. no reason for that. back the fuck up im serious,” isaac steps in front of them

[24kmar]

𝐒𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 (𝐏𝐭.2 𝐨𝐟" 𝐈𝐭 𝐖𝐚𝐬 𝐀 𝐁𝐚𝐝 𝐈𝐝𝐞𝐚")

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Toxic!Fem reader x Matt Sturniolo

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: This takes place after the argument matt and y/n had. She finds herself wondering if what she did was right. This then leads to her self reflecting, then one night at an influencer party she went with tara (tara yummy) she sees matt. What happens when she realizes that he just wants to love her.

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Reader is kind of a bitch 😭 but she redeems herself 🙏🏻, suggestive content, language, ANGST with a happy ending, toxic situationship, reader being in denial about loving matt, jealous matt, drugs(weed), MDNI, let me know if theres more!!

Readers perspective

I sighed as i shut the door to matts place. Why did he have to make this so difficult?. I made it clear this was just fucking when it started, so why now did he feel the need to make it an issue? I mean it was working so why not leave it that way, right? Dont fix whats not broken.

I didnt understand why he was being so fucking sensitive. 'Fuck this' i thought as i got into my car and drove out of the driveway. I really needed a blunt after this shit.

As i pulled into my driveway my phone buzzed, 'Fuck' i thought as i suspected it was matt. But no, it was... nick?

As i saw his contact appear on my phone, i opened our messages. To which read "Hey y/n/n did something happen between you and matt orrr?". What the actual fuck? "Why?" i texted back to which he replied "cause hes a fucking wreck in his room rn and hes not talking to me or chris" followed by "and his doors locked".

Guilt. Immediate guilt is what i felt when i read that. Did i really do this to him? Nah, couldnt have been me, i mean how much importance could a fuck buddy hold. Not much....right? Some days passed by as i heard nothing from matt.

Was this the end of us? For some reason that thought caused a pang in my chest. But why? "Heartburn or some shit' i thought, quickly dissmissing the thought and shoving it into to the back of my brain.

Tara had texted me begging me to come with her to some influencer party. ' Why not' i thought, god knows i needed it. Any chance at drinking and smoking i got right now i would take. After all thats happend with matt, i desperately need it.

I decided to wear this outfit to the party with boots. As me and tara got off the car as we arrived to the party, i realized how packed the house was. And loud as shit. Im gonna regret coming here.

I got a drink immediately as i got in the house. As tara ventured off into the house, i stayed in a corner desperately wanting to leave. Then some guy, brian, brandon, braydon? Some shit like that, came of to me. "Oh brother' i thought as this fuck boy walked over to me.

"What's good, im braylon." he said while smirking. Ick. I just shrugged looking away, not wanting to interact with this moron. "Cmon baby, dont be like that" he said tugging on my wrist. " yo back the fuck up" i hissed yanking my wrist out of his grasp. "Dont be a fucking bitch about it," he snarled "if you're gonna dress like a slut, dont be suprised when you get treated like one". Oh fuck no. "The fuck you just say to me" i scowled sizing him up. "I said-" he started, but getting cut off by Matt. "Back the fuck up, man." He said pulling me behind him while getting in between me and braylon.

"What? This slut your bitch?" He chuckled. Oh fuck. "Shit is about to go down" i thought as i saw matts jaw tense and his fists clench. "The fuck you just-" matt started as i cut him off. "Drop it matt, hes not fucking worth it" i said through gritted teeth getting nervous. "Yeah listen to your bitch" braylon continued as i sent him a warning glare. Feeling matt stepping closer to braylon, i grabbed him a pulled him back. "Matthew, fucking drop it, now" i said getting infront of him pushing him backwards then turning him around to walk infront of me as i pushed on his back to make him walk. Leading him to a secluded room in the house.

"Look, i know i fucked up with what i said. I shouldnt have done that and i get it if you're still mad at. I shouldnt have put you in that position-" he started. "Matt, im sorry" i cut him off, again. "What?" His brows furrowed.

"I shouldnt have said those awful things to you," i said taking a deep breath as i was about to confess to this kid "i was just fucking terrified at the fact that i may have been catching feelings" i said looking up at him, searching for any emotion.

"I am so fucking sorry-" i got cut of by a kiss. As he pulled away, we both starting laughing like fucking idiots. "You like me" he smiled like a middle school boy who just had his first kiss. "Shut up, i take it back" i laughed, rolling my eyes jokingly.

"Denial is a river in egypt babe" he shrugged. "Oh fuck you" i laughed shoving him.

Its safe to say, we weren't just fuck buddy's anymore. Maybe this wasnt a bad idea.

[vampzxi]

just a question

riri williams x black!afab reader (slightly suggestive)

thank you moo @letitias-fav for reading the first draft and sticking with me after i had to restart this 3 times.

"make sure you have your paper in by 11, y/n," your professor looked at you, his eyes peering above his glasses, "im not giving you any more extensions. you know the material."

"my bad, teach. I'll have it in before then, i swear," you said, picking up your bag and leaving. sighing heavily, you made your way across campus, wondering how you were gonna get a 5 page rhetorical analysis finished in 3 hours. you took your phone out and tapped on Riri's contact, texting her.

"hey ri, gonna have to skip out on movie night tonight. paper due at 11. takeout tmrw? :(“

you knew ri would be slightly upset. she doesn't like change, and you knew she'd been looking forward to this date night for weeks. this was y'all's first night together since 2 months ago. you both have been constantly doing schoolwork and swamped with extracurriculars. and you knew how Riri's temper could get. you did not want to deal with that tonight.

you reached for your headphones in your tote bag, when you feel your phone buzz from a notification. immediately, you know it's Ri. biting your lower lip and bracing yourself, you open her message.

"it's alright, bae. takeout sounds great. Imk if you need any help:)"

stopping in your tracks, you read and re read the message. it's alright?! you thought. she hates takeout and hates english even more. wondering about the change in attitude, you send another text back:

"you sure? you can come over if you want."

texting back immediately, Riri replied:

"nah, it's all good. stay focused baby. love you💜”

alright, now she was trippin. she never declines an invite over to your place, even if it's just to walk to class. you didn't know where this sudden change in attitude was coming from. your mind immediately jumped to cheating, but that was just your overactive imagination. you have a tendency to jump to the worst possible conclusion. silently chastising yourself, you took a deep breath to clear your head. you turn on your favorite song and put your headphones on, drowning out everything else.

when you arrive at your dorm, you take your headphones off and fumble for your keys. as you’re about to insert the key into the lock, you hear faint music coming from behind your door. oh shit, i forgot to turn my record player off, you thought. you opened your door, but what faced you completely took your breath away.

riri was sprawled on your bed, wearing nothing but a muscle tank and underwear. she had dimmed all the lights, and the only light sources were the fake tea candles scattered around your dorm. she had come on by jhenè aiko coming through your record player. slowly looking up at you, a playful smile crept across her face. “hey, baby,” she said in a breathy whisper as stood up and inched toward you.

holy shit. you thought. your eyes slid down to her chest and waist and you found it hard to focus on just her face. gulping, you forced yourself to meet her expectant eyes. “ri, what are you…what are you doing here?”

riri put her hand past your head, shutting the door you forgot to close when you entered. you looked down into her big, brown eyes as that smirk still remained on her face. “i just wanted to surprise you, ma.”

your heart was beating so fast, you were sure riri could hear it. if she could, she was too busy staring at you to notice. god, she looked so beautiful. you could hardly tear your eyes away from her as you said, “i got…i got a paper.”

slight irritation flashed across riri’s face for a second, making your heart drop to your stomach. you wished you could take it back and scoop her up in your arms and kiss her everywhere. you wanted to see her writhe under you as you touched her in all the right places.

fuck.

you slid your tote bag off and let it thud to the ground. riri’s smirk returned and she kicked the bag to the corner of your dorm. “it can wait, right?” it was more of a command than a question.

nodding breathlessly, you cupped her face with your hands as you pressed your lips onto hers. all of her irritation melted away as you bought her closer to you. her lips were warm and soft. you felt the gentle tickle of her breath beneath your nose. she parted mouth softly, allowing you to slip your tongue inside. a low whimper escaped riri, making your stomach tighten. you longed for her so bad in that moment.

you shrugged your jacket off as you continued to kiss riri. chest heaving, she fumbled with your shirt and pulled it over the top of your head. she tossed it into the same corner as your bag.

ri’s mouth moved to your collarbone, nipping at it lightly. you bit your lip, stifling a moan as your eyes rolled to the back of your head. she peppered kisses across your chest and slipped her calloused hands up into your sports bra, rubbing up and down. this time, you couldn’t contain the moan that escaped from your lips as your knees buckled.

your bodies pressed together against the door, breathing heavily as your lips pressed together once more. you could hardly contain the noises that passed through your mouth, but they only seemed to excite ri more. her lips made a path from your lips to your neck, and back to your lips again. she moaned, pushing herself against you even more.

panting heavily, one of ri’s hands quickly left your bra and slid up the back of your neck, gripping your locs. she pulled your head back firmly, leaving your lips cold. you were forced to make eye contact with her. her eyes slid up and down your body, “hey baby?”

“yeah?”

“just a question.”

her hand left your hair as it slipped into the back of your pants, making your skin hot everywhere she touched. she stopped right above your ass, pinching your underwear’s waistline. “why are these still on?”

thank you for reading! i was gonna stretch it out but i felt like it was alr too long so ☠️ i might make a second part idk. this is my first time writing in like forever so i’m sorry for any inconsistencies. thank you again for reading! ^_^

[7vsjr]

can i request one with Andy Robertson please where he has a huge crush on one of the girls who works at the club (and she's crushing on him too) and eventually after loads of teasing from the lads, he plucks up the courage to ask her out? then it ends in smut? Thank you! x

(Ignore my other request I forgot to add in the smut bit)

OBBESSED

summary; andy is obbesed with you but doesnt have the courage to talk to you. but when trent approaches you and tells you about andy, everything changes.

content; SMUT, unprotected sex, slight teasing, kinda getting caught, shy andy😭

a/n; heyy make sure you request things!! love yall 💟‼️

every day for the past 2 months, andy visited you at the club you worked at. and yet 2 months and he still hadnt worked up the courage to ask for your name. “mate go talk to her” trent bumped his shoulder. he contemplated actually doing it or not.

“nah mate i cant” he say running his hand over his face. “oh my days” trent groaned and stood up. andy watched him walk over to you. trent pointed at andy and you smiled. you nodded and made your way over to him. “hi” you said at sat down in front of him.

andy gulped, fuck you looked so good. if he really wanted to, he wouldve ripped it off in front of everyone. “andy?” you asked him cutting him away from his thoughts. “oh uhm yeah” he stuttered. “your friend said you wanted to talk” andy mentally cursed at trent, “not really” lie. he knew he wanted to talk to you.

“oh. ok” you frowned softly and left. “mate what the fuck!” trent said. andy ignored him and went chasing after you. “wait!” he yelled after you. you turned around. “what” you said. “im sorry. i do wanna talk. ugh its just that-“ andy stopped talking. he replaced his words with his lips. he wrapped his hands around your waist. you wrapped yours around his neck. “shit! im so sorry” andy stuttered as he pulled away. “for what?” you smiled, your cheeks as pink as the pink roses on the table next to you.

andy was about to speak before you let out a soft giggle and walked away. he wanted to follow you, he really did but he couldnt. he was too shocked that you liked him. he figured you must’ve liked trent instead of him.

he saw you walk over to trent and gave him a note. trent looked at andy and smirked. “what?” andy said running over. “she gave you her address!” he smiled. holy shit, really?

“shit.. i gotta go” andy said and ran out the door. “oi wait!” trent yelled but andy already slammed the door shut. he got in his car and immediately drove to you.

when he got to your house, he pounded on the door. “hi-“ you said but got caught off when andy kissed you. it was a long and passionate kiss. when he pulled away he said, “hey” and smiled. you licked your lips and moved away from the door.

andy never looked at what you were wearing, which was practically nothing. just a bra and panties. “baby what are you wearing?” he asked you. “oh uhm im so sorry! you caught me at a bad time…” you mumbled. pretty soon andy caught on. “were you touching yourself?” he asked.

he figured you were as all the pillows on the couch were fixed in a specific position, and your legs and quite frankly whole body looked damp.

“maybe” you smiled. “let me help” andy said. and in almost seconds, he was on top of you on your bed. “are you gonna be good and take it?” he asked you as he slapped his dick on your pussy. you moaned and nodded. once andy started pushing into you, you found yourself biting your lips. “shit your so fucking tight” he moans at the feeling. you grabbed his body and held him for support.

once he was fully in, you begged him to move. he just smiled at you and slowly starting increasing his speed. “oh fuck!” you moaned but it almost came out as a scream when he hit a certain soft spot.

“baby i cant last with your beautiful noises” he groaned. “fuck andy im close” you moaned out and shut your eyes in pleasure. “not yet” was all he said. “please andy” you moaned as you begged him to let you cum. “patience. you’ve already cum once” andy said referring to you before he arrived. “wait until i fill you” he moaned out.

when andy came inside of you, you had never been so impatient for a head nod. but that head nod secured an okay to let go. and you did.

“shit” you panted. “fuck that was amazin” andy laughed slightly. “so..” you mumbled. “do you wanna go out to dinner?” he asked you. but he knew he was only hungry for one thing. you.

a/n; srry this took soo long nd its so bad😭

[sebsxphia]

~this~post did something to me so here's my writing of one of the bob parts you mentioned bc whew that's gonna stick with me. and thank you 🍮 anon and yourself 😌 this is my first Bob smut and I'm sweating

The competition between Bob and Hangman had being going on for a couple weeks now, and you were definitely reaping the benefits from it. The two of them had something to prove and were refusing to be bested by the other, and it was only getting more intense - to your pleasure.

Jake had walked into a stall of the bathroom, knowing the video sent to him by Bob would demand both his immediate attention, and privacy. He slid the lock in place before tapping on the video. His fingers quickly flew to the volume button as your moans filled the room, trying to quiet the noises, and being grateful no one else was in the restroom with him.

The video was taken from Bob's point of view, showing you laying on your back with a perfect view to camera. Your eyes locked with Jake's through the screen and you moaned and nearly screamed for his rival.

"B- Bobby, please, please," you begged, your eyes fluttering shut.

"You look so good like this, don't you wanna let Hangman see? I bet Jake's gonna hate missing this," Bob teases off camera, thrusting into you all the while. You looked back up at the camera as another moan escapes your lips. "Taking me so well, darlin'. Tell me, who fucks you better? Hm?

Jake hears you gasp as you moan again, you obviously enjoying the way Robert's hips are slamming into yours. Jake watches as Bob pulled nearly completely out of you and sees spit land just in front of your entrance before he slides all the way back in, in one deep thrust. He has to cover his phone's speaker with his finger to mute the loud noises that flood out of you.

"Fuck! Y- you do, Bobby," you moan, causing Jake to set his jaw in annoyance.

Bob chuckes as obscenities spew from your mouth and reaches his hand down, just within frame of the video, to press the pad of his thumb against your clit. "I don't think he could hear that, baby. Say it again, say my name. Who fucks you the best?"

Jake watches the remaining 10 seconds of the video, which is just you saying Bob's name like a mantra as you moan and come around him. The last words are Robert saying "That's my girl," before Jake's phone closes out of the video.

He takes a deep breath through his nose before typing a reply, saying he'll see what you have to say about it next time he sees you. Jake has to adjust his pants and wait a few seconds before leaving the stall, but the rest of the day he sees you sprawled on the bed everytime he closes his eyes.

-❤️‍🔥

DEAR ANON I WANT YOU TO AFFECTIONATELY KNOW THIS SENT ME INTO ORBIT

i’m currently spinning around earth with absolutely zero plans to come back down holy shit!!!!!!! this is incredible!!!!! the spitting????? your first bob smut???? NAH IM SO RABID FOR THIS

jake wouldn’t be able to get the image out of this head for the next three days and he’s already planning his next move for when he has you all to himself and how he’s going to prove to bob that he wrecks you better. hickies, bruises and bite marks aren’t enough. he needs to prove that you’re his.

that’s how you end up feeling the cool body paint slide on your lower belly, just above your cunt. you’re too fucked out at this point to even look down and see what he’s writing, squirming under the ticklish feeling. jake slaps your thigh lightly, “hold still sugar, or i can’t mark you as mine.”

bob receives the video ten minutes later sat on his living room sofa. his jaw hardens when he sees the black paint reading “hangman’s property” and he hears your whiney begs for jake to fuck you. the fucker has literally marked you as his and it makes bob’s blood boil.

thank you so so much for this incredible piece dear anon!!! i’m never getting over this!!!! ever!!!! i could kiss you mwah!!! 💌💖

[pollstuck]

Alright let's get back on track.

There we go.

AG: What is it now! EB: fuck.

?CG AT ?:?? opened memo on board FRUITY RUMPUS ASSHOLE FACTORY.

CURRENT turntechGodhead [CTG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CTG: what CURRENT ectoBiologist [CEB] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CEB: ok, i am here. CEB: oh, hi insufferable! CTG: hey CEB: what is going on in here? CTG: some kinda asshole rumpus looks like ?CG: EVERYBODY SHUT THE FUCK UP, I HATE YOU BOTH, ETC. ETC. ETC. ?CG: NOW THAT THE PLEASANTRIES ARE OUT OF THE WAY, THERE IS IMPORTANT BUSINESS TO DISCUSS. ?CG: THIS MEMO IS NOT ABOUT WHICH GUY CAN MANAGE TO BE THE HEFTIEST SACK OF SHAME GLOBES TO ONE ANOTHER. ?CG: IT IS NOT ABOUT WHICH ONE OF US WILL MOST DECISIVELY ESCORT THE OTHERS "TO SCHOOL", WHERE THEY WILL RECEIVE A VAST HELPING OF "OH SNAP" RAMMED DOWN THEIR INSATIABLE IGNORANCE SHAFTS. ?CG: THIS IS AN IMPORTANT CONVERSATION WHICH I BELIEVE NEEDS TO TAKE PLACE HERE AND NOW, SO YOU WILL BOTH SHAPE YOUR SHIT UP AND PERHAPS BEGIN TO APPROXIMATE PEOPLE WHO AREN'T EXCRUCIATINGLY RETARDED. CTG: ok later windbag ?CG: PRICK FUCK OFF ?CG: AND BY FUCK OFF I MEAN FUCK OFF RIGHT BACK HERE AND LISTEN, YOU SANCTIMONIOUS BASTARD. CEB: yeah, insufferable, don't go! CEB: i think we should listen to what he has to say. ?CG: YES, LISTEN TO YOUR LEADER INSUFFERABLE. ?CG: AS DUMB AS POOPLORD IS, HE IS SMARTER THAN YOU AND IS THE RIGHTFUL SUPERIOR AMONG YOUR DREARY LITTLE PARTY. ?CG: BUT I AM THE SUPERIOR OF BOTH OF YOU AND WHAT YOU REALLY NEED TO BE DOING IS LISTENING TO ME. ?CG: SO INSUFFERABLE, TRY TO KEEP ALL THOSE SICK FIRES CHECKED AND THOSE STOIC LIPS PURSED FOR A GOD DAMNED SECOND ?CG: AND TAKE THIS SIMPLE BIT OF HATEFRIENDLY ADVICE: ?CG: STOP HITTING ON BLART IMMEDIATELY, IT'S FUCKING EMBARRASSING TO WATCH. CTG: nah CEB: haha, insufferable you're hitting on blart? really??

CTG: no CTG: but whatever he thinks im doing im not going to stop CTG: the guys jealous obviously he thinks his girlfriend has a thing for me and you know what hes probably right CTG: but what else is new just another lady from outer space mackin on me whatever chance she gets ?CG: OH, HA HA! IF SMUG WAS A MOTORCYCLE, IT JUST JUMPED OVER A FUCKING CANYON. ?CG: THE CROWD GOES WILD WITH DISMAY, AND THEN COMMITS MASS SUICIDE. CEB: crab, is blart really your girlfriend? ?CG: GUESS WHAT THIS CONVERSATION IS ABOUT! NOT THAT PARTICULAR TOPIC. ?CG: ALSO GUESS WHOSE BUSINESS THAT STILL ISN'T, FUCKING YOURS, THAT'S RIGHT. CTG: pretty sure she is CTG: or he thinks she is or something CTG: made it pretty obvious when he started ranting at me months ago CTG: back when i suspected these trolls were full of shit CTG: but now look how far weve come CTG: theres not any doubt left about that at all ?CG: EVEN IF THERE WAS ANYTHING GOING ON, WHICH THERE DEFINITELY [OOPS TIME TO MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS AGAIN, ASSHOLE!] ?CG: OUR ROMANCE IS MUCH MORE COMPLICATED THAN THE JOKE THAT PASSES FOR YOUR UNDERSTANDING OF THE CONCEPT. ?CG: YOU ONLY HAVE ONE QUADRANT! THAT'S JUST ABSURD. CTG: right CTG: sounds like its time to get a clue she is over you dude CEB: what is so different about your romance? CEB: what's a quadrant? how many do you have? CTG: zoosmell god dammit stop embarrassing us CTG: first of all weve got to be on record here as not giving a shit about that CTG: second obviously theres gonna be 4 quadrants come on

?CG: ZOOSMELL, I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I SAID ABOUT YOU BEING THE SMART ONE. ?CG: INSUFFERABLE IS NOW THE LEADER, EVEN THOUGH HE'S A SMUG SHITSTAIN WITH SHADES AND A POKER FACE. ?CG: IF THERE WERE FIVE, THEY'D BE CALLED QUINTDRANTS, GET IT??? CEB: wow, okay! CEB: who cares, jeeeeeeeez. ?CG: YES, EXACTLY. WHO CARES? ?CG: AS FASCINATING AS A LECTURE ON ALL THAT WOULD BE, IT'S NOT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT. ?CG: WHICH BRINGS ME TO A RELATED POINT OF BUSINESS. ?CG: ZOOSMELL, DON'T THINK I DIDN'T NOTICE HOW MANY E'S YOU JUST TYPED THERE. ?CG: THAT'S GOT TO STOP TOO. CEB: what does? ?CG: STOP TALKING TO VRISKA. I'M FUCKING SERIOUS. CEB: what! CEB: no way. vriska's cool, i'll talk to her all i want! ?CG: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. ?CG: YOU JACKASSES HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE GETTING YOURSELVES INTO. ?CG: THEY'RE DANGEROUS, AND YOU'RE JUST BLUNDERING RIGHT INTO THEIR HYPERCOMPETITIVE MINDFUCK MURDER-THICKET. ?CG: THESE PSYCHO GIRLS HAVE ALREADY GOTTEN EACH OF YOU KILLED AT LEAST ONCE TO MY KNOWLEDGE. CEB: well, yeah... CEB: but blart killed me in an alternate timeline, so that isn't too bad i guess. CEB: plus, i am pretty sure that she is sorry about it. ?CG: OH GOD, YOU EVEN KNOW ABOUT IT? ?CG: AND YOU'RE STILL GETTING UP TO THESE ANTICS ?CG: YOU ARE BOTH FUCKING HOPELESS, I GIVE UP. CTG: k then bye ?CG: SHUT YOUR SQUAWK GAPER AND STAY PUT. ?CG: I'M NOT DONE. CTG: sounds like a loudmouth inferiority thing going on here to me CTG: like you dont want to acknowledge that your troll ladies find a couple of human dudes irresistible ?CG: YOU DON'T GET IT. ?CG: I DO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT AS MUCH AS IT MAKES ME SICK TO MY VARIOUS BITS OF ALIEN PHYSIOLOGY YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF, THESE GIRLS ARE CLEARLY FLIRTING WITH BOTH OF YOU PRETTY HARD. ?CG: THE FACT THAT THEY HAVE SWEPT YOU BOTH INTO THEIR SICK ASSASSINATION GAMES IS SADLY WHAT MAKES THIS OBVIOUS. ?CG: THAT'S WHAT THEY DO. CEB: wait... CEB: are you saying that vriska is interested in me? CEB: like, romantically? ?CG: POOPLORD JUST EARNED A FEW BRAIN POINTS! ?CG: HE HAS REACHED A NEW RUNG ON HIS ECHELADDER, "EASILY OUTFOXED BY SIMPLE UTENSILS" ?CG: "BUCKAROO" ?CG: OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT CTG: smooth CEB: oh man. CEB: uh... ?CG: YES LET'S ALL HAVE A GREAT BIG OH MAN OVER THAT ?CG: AND THEN FUCKING CUT THE HORSESHIT FOREVER. SOUND GOOD?

CEB: i'm not sure what to think about this. CEB: insufferable, what do you think i should do? CTG: i dunno CTG: do you like her CEB: well, like i said, i thought she was pretty cool... CEB: kinda bossy! but also pretty friendly. CTG: yeah ok CTG: but i mean CTG: anything more than that CTG: like CTG: if earth wasnt destroyed and she werent in some other universe on a planet full of unspeakable frothing dipshits CTG: and she was on earth visiting your town or something CTG: would you want to ask her to go see one of your dumbass movies CTG: like the new maconnohey jam where he smirks and like all but deliberately draws the audiences ire like a goddamn magnetron CEB: mcconaughey!!!!!!!! CEB: um, wow, i don't know. CEB: i mean, yeah, sure it would be fun to do something like that with her, i think. CEB: but... CEB: beyond that, it's a little confusing! CEB: i don't think i have ever actually liked a girl before in that way, so i am not really sure what i am supposed to feel or do... ?CG: HOLY FUCK WHAT AM I EVEN READING HERE????? CTG: doesnt concern you dude ?CG: OK ZOOSMELL, ARE YOUR FEELINGS QUITE SORTED OUT YET? ?CG: ARE YOU QUITE DONE SLOGGING THROUGH THE EMOTIONAL MORASS OF ADOLESCENCE, EMERGING FROM THE SLUDGE IN YOUR JUNIOR ECTOBIOLOGY WADERS? ?CG: ARE WE FEELING JUST A LITTLE BIT WISER? DID WE GROW TODAY? THAT WOULD BE WONDERFUL! ?CG: YOU WOULD THINK WARNING YOU GUYS THAT FRATERNIZING WITH THESE FEMALES IS PUTTING YOUR LIVES IN DANGER WOULD BE ENOUGH. ?CG: REALLY, DANGER YOU SAY? OH GOODNESS, WE NEARLY MADE A HUGE MISTAKE! WHY THANK YOU, MR. TROLL, HOW GRACIOUS OF YOU TO ALERT US TO OUR FOOLISHNESS. CTG: i dunno man doesnt sound like you really got our interests in mind here CTG: you just sound kinda bitter CTG: did one of the human ladies reject you ?CG: OF COURSE NOT. CTG: how did it go did you stand in a quadrant like you were playing four square CTG: holding a bucket full of flowers or slime or whatever and farmstink was like no thanks bro CTG: is that how it went down ?CG: YES, YOU FIGURED IT OUT! YOU ARE A SAVANT OF XENOBIOLOGY INSUFFERABLE AND I SALUTE YOU WITH ONE OF MY MANY INTERGALACTIC SPACE TENDRILS ?CG: (THAT'S FAKE, I MADE THAT UP TO FUCK WITH YOU) CTG: or maybe it was a guy who rejected you ?CG: FUCK OFF. CTG: haha wow bingo CTG: see how i look right now thats a poker face might want to take some notes

?CG: I SEE NOTHING BUT A COWARD BEHIND DARK EYEWEAR CLEARLY DESIGNED FOR WOMEN AND A PAIR OF IMPUDENT LIPS PURSED SO TIGHT IT'LL SOUND LIKE AIR SQUEALING OUT OF A BALLOON WHEN I PUNCH YOU IN THE GUT. CTG: oh god stop talking about my lips thats the second time CTG: ok youre clearly gay and youve probably got some issues about it dude CTG: zoosmell just a heads up in the future i think youre gonna spurn one of his awkward advances CEB: uh oh! ?CG: ZOOSMELL DON'T LISTEN TO THIS FUCKER, HE'S THE WORST GUY AT GIVING ADVICE I'VE EVER SEEN. CEB: yeah, i dunno insufferable, i have talked to crab a lot and i really don't think he has a thing for me. ?CG: EXACTLY. ZOOSMELL ONCE AGAIN IS FLYING HIGH AS SMARTEST HUMAN. ?CG: AND ZOOSMELL, PURELY HYPOTHETICALLY, IF ONE OF US IN THE FUTURE DOES MAKE SOME SORT OF SOLICITATION YOU DON'T QUITE UNDERSTAND... ?CG: BECAUSE OF PERHAPS SOME CULTURAL DIFFERENCES ?CG: I MEAN NO ONE IN PARTICULAR HERE ?CG: MAYBE TRY TO UNDERSTAND THAT PERSON MIGHT NOT BE THINKING TOO CLEARLY AT THAT MOMENT CEB: uh... ?CG: IT MIGHT BE THE CASE THAT THIS PERSON HAS GOTTEN TOO WRAPPED UP IN A SORT OF CALIGINOUS IDEAL ?CG: AND GET CARRIED AWAY, POSSIBLY SO MUCH SO THEY WERE BLIND TO HOW COMPLETELY FUCKED UP AND WEIRD IT WOULD BE TO PURSUE ANYTHING LIKE THAT WITH ANOTHER SPECIES ?CG: ESPECIALLY ONE THAT DIDN'T EVEN UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF A CALIGINIOUS RELATIONSHIP CTG: what CTG: the fuck CTG: are you talking about ?CG: BUT I'M NOT THAT PERSON. I HAVE A FIRM GRASP ON HOW DERANGED AND UNNATURAL ANY SORT OF INTERSPECIES RELATIONSHIP WOULD BE, WHETHER CALIGINOUS OR CONCUPISCENT. ?CG: SO I ASK ?CG: NO I'M FUCKING BEGGING YOU BOTH ?CG: TO QUIT CHATTING UP THESE SHITHIVE BROADS AND LEAVE WELL ENOUGH ALONE. CTG: thats obviously not gonna happen ?CG: FUCK. ?CG: LOOK. ?CG: ALRIGHT I ADMIT THIS ISN'T PURELY MAGNANIMOUS CONCERN FOR YOUR SAFETY HERE. ?CG: WE'RE ALL SORT OF COOKING UP A PLAN RIGHT NOW. ?CG: MY RIGHT NOW. ?CG: WHICH IF SUCCESSFUL, MAY, AND I DO STRESS MAY, END UP WITH ALL OF US MEETING FACE TO FACE. ?CG: AND WHAT I'D LIKE TO AVOID IF AT ALL POSSIBLE ?CG: IS TO HAVE THIS RENDEZVOUS INSTANTLY DETERIORATE INTO A LOT OF REVOLTING TROLL/HUMAN SLOPPY MAKEOUTS. ?CG: THAT WOULD JUST RUIN IT FOR ME, OK? ?CG: REALLY THE ONLY SCENARIO THAT I AM SURE WOULD CAUSE ME TO REGRET SUCCESS. GOT IT?

CEB: er... CEB: do... CEB: you think that vriska is going to try to make out with me? ?CG: SHUT UP. ?CG: I'M NOT ANSWERING YOUR DUMB QUESTIONS ABOUT HOW MUCH SNOGGING YOU'RE IN FOR AND I'M NOT PLAYING INTERSPECIES MATCH MAKER HERE. ?CG: SERIOUSLY, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS? ?CG: I SHOULDN'T EVEN NEED TO BE SAYING THIS. ?CG: GOD DAMMIT, IT'S NOT EVEN LIKE YOU DON'T HAVE ACTUAL HUMAN FEMALES NEARBY FOR ACTUAL BIOLOGICALLY VIABLE MATESPRITSHIPS! ?CG: DO I HAVE TO DRAW YOU A DIAGRAM??? CEB: flighty and farmstink? CEB: so, uh... CEB: you want us to like, date them? ?CG: WOULD IT REALLY FUCKING KILL YOU TO CONSIDER IT?????? ?CG: I MEAN GOD. WHAT DO YOU EVEN THINK YOU'RE DOING HERE IN THIS GAME? ?CG: YOU'RE CREATING YOUR OWN UNIVERSE TO GO LIVE IN. ?CG: AND JUST HOW DO YOU THINK YOUR SPECIES IS SUPPOSED TO REPOPULATE ITSELF??????????? IDIOTS. CTG: dude CTG: no CTG: just CTG: stop ?CG: OH OK, SO THE ALIEN HERE IS THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED WITH THE PROPAGATION OF YOUR SPECIES. ?CG: THAT MAKES A LOT OF FUCKING SENSE. WHY DON'T YOU WISE THE FUCK UP, COOLDOUCHE? CEB: i think he is right, i think we are all a little young to be thinking about that! ?CG: WELL NO SHIT, NOW YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY. ?CG: BUT WHAT ABOUT LATER? THINK ABOUT THE BIG PICTURE. ?CG: HOW DID HUMANITY GET AS FAR AS IT GOT BEING SO DUMB? CEB: um, also, CEB: we are kinda all related! sort of. through shared ghost slime genes. right? CEB: so, uh... ?CG: OH RIGHT, THE BIZARRE HUMAN ANATHEMA OF INCEST, I FORGOT. CTG: oh my fucking god CTG: please let this conversation not be taking place ?CG: OK WELL LET'S SAY THAT'S HYPOTHETICALLY A PROBLEM, EVEN THOUGH I'M RACKING MY BRAIN TO UNDERSTAND WHY IT WOULD BE. ?CG: I GUESS I WILL HAVE TO DRAW YOU A DIAGRAM, BECAUSE YOU ARE JUST THAT STUPID. ?CG: HERE ?CG: http://tinyurl.com/MATINGDIAGRAMFORMORONS CTG: ok youre by far the worst artist out of any of us CTG: and thats saying something ?CG: SHUT UP I DREW IT FAST ?CG: NOW

?CG: AS YOU CAN CLEARLY SEE, THERE ARE ONLY TWO SETS OF COMPATIBLE QUADRANTS HERE FOR LEGITIMATE CONCUPISCENT PAIRINGS. ?CG: INSUFFERABLE AND FLIGHTY ARE "RELATED" ?CG: FARMSTINK AND ZOOSMELL ARE "RELATED" ?CG: THAT ONLY LEAVES TWO PAIRS. ?CG: ONCE AGAIN, THE DECISIONS PERTAINING TO HUMAN ROMANCE REMAIN STUNNINGLY SIMPLE. ?CG: AND YET I STILL HAVE TO SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU. YOU'RE WELCOME. ?CG: NOW GO HASSLE YOUR FUTURE MATESPRITS AND LEAVE THE TROLL GIRLS ALONE. CTG: thx for the shipping grid bro imma drop everything and go have a baby with farmstink right now CTG: no peeking k CEB: wow, i have to marry flighty? CEB: uh... CEB: wow. ?CG: AND NOW THAT I HAVE SAVED YOUR ENTIRE WORTHLESS SPECIES WITH MY IMPECCABLE ROMANCE BROKERING SKILLS ?CG: I WILL BID YOU A BITTER FUCKING FAREWELL. ?CG: JEGUS I AM SO TIRED. CTG: you should go back to sleep CTG: it was so much cooler when you were asleep and i basically never had to listen to you ever ?CG: I CAN'T GO TO SLEEP CEB: why not? ?CG: BECAUSE I'M TOO TIRED TO EXPLAIN WHY IS WHY. ?CG: YOU'LL FIGURE IT OUT LATER. ?CG: MEMO OVER. ?CG: GET OUTTA HERE. ?CG banned CEB from responding to memo. ?CG banned CTG from responding to memo. ?CG closed memo.

[mejomonster]

The Blood of Youth ep 3

I'm crying omg!!!

3 minutes in. Wu Xin immediately beelines for Xiao Se. Alright ship i see u. Lei immediately tries to bodily shield Xiao Se behind him. Which looks like a child trying to protect a parent honestly.

I am suddenly wondering if this took any inspiration from Word of Honor particularly Wen Kexing, Zhou Zishu, and Zhang Chengling as their kid. Because Lei is a touch older and these 2 a touch younger, but Xiao Se is taking a very parental almost supervising role over Lei, since he came to check on him and keep his dumbass from continuing to fight and get hurt. Since Xiao Se is the man with secrets acting like he needs Lei for a burdensome money collection - which he does - but also like he may develop a soft spot for Lei over time. Despite being so cold and calculating now. Meanwhile you've got Wu Xin who's giving Wen Kexing vibes in terms of STRANGER DANGER BLARING so instinctively that Lei even felt the need in his pure innocent single minded heart to need to shield and protect Xiao Se in the first place. (And its Liu Xueyi known by me best for his shady roles as Xiao Hua and terrifying horror that is Bai Lin so I love that he's getting to play an intimidating guy here).

Meanwhile Wu Xin wakes up. Looks around then eyes Xiao Se and just LOCKS ON. "Oh hi, I'm wondering if you'd like to come somewhere with me~"

IM CRYING THATS SO FUCKING FUNNY

Xiao Se: no I don't.

Lmao. Xiao Se shut that down FAST. (And have I mentioned how much I love Xiao Se's character type as the lead of a wuxia? Someone who doesn't do martial arts in the smack center of a wuxia! Someone who counts property damage and has real life shit to do but is trying not to die in a wuxia battle as ppl fight on the carriage he's in and smash it, Someone immediately looked at and approached by God-Power-Level unknown monk guy that he was curious about before cause hey valuable, but is now like nah dude I'm not trying to die ill just leave. I love how he's both the straight man comedically and this very Like Us mundane dude in a very Over The Top superpower heavy wuxia.

Okay so again. I don't know if the novel and donghua this is based on is older than Word of Honor. And I don't know therefore if it could've been inspired at all. Maybe it's coincidence. I do think though perhaps the Instant "is this possibly bl" vibe hits though because of certain similarities. Wu Xin (at least so far) hasn't gone full on gay compliments galore of beauty and I wanna bang you (which made wen kexings crush anvil heavy obvious immediately), but he is visually approaching Xiao Se immediately the same kind of way Wen Kexing did. Singling him out visually, going right for "want to come with me?" And giving me the impression even though Xiao Se said no (like Zhou zishu did) that Wu Xin is still going to travel with him. And Xiao Se has his own kid he's hauling around (Lei) just like Zhou Zishu had Zhang Chengling. Even if the dynamics are bound to be unique as these characters already are, the sort of opening WoH did has some similarities here in character meeting.

Mildly related but it would be kinda fun if the new "trope" was very bl vibes parental units with a third person slightly younger, which makes it "brotherhood" as a big trio but has space to be kinda shippy as the writers desire since the third one is more like their kid then partner. Heroes sort of did this even, from the few eps I watched, with the main boy (and girl) being immediately painted as a bit younger and more naive than Bai Choufei and the guy in red (and girl in white). WoH of course did this, it's the story. Xena way back in the day actually did this a lot - first Joxer as a 3rd to the trio that the girls did not love romantically like they did each other but did love him familially, then the kids and later sort of students they'd pick up temporarily and mentor. Guardian didn't do exactly this obviously but the group investigation unit structure I do think helps have a found family vibe take the main stage and romances become less !!! If downplaying a relationship is desired (I imagine that's also true for The Sleuth of Ming Dynasty? Since it's very found family). Dmbj is not bl lol, but it's main structure of usually a trio and (wu xie you know it's true) wu xie being a bit super close to some guy (interpret as the reader desires depending on the book) works well in part cayse there's usually a trio to emphasize the overall found family/team dynamic, rather than all the focus going to 1 specific pair solely. (Alrhough dmbj is it's own beast... new stuff is purposely trying to put heihua alone pretty front and center, meanwhile xiaoge and pangzi read more as mentors of wu xie but they don't get shipped much instead wu xie shipped with one of them is the norm since he likes older men ). My point is!!! If you DO happen to have a couple in a show (or just a pair with couple potential for fans), there's a way to lean into that partner dynamic in writing without making it the Only Dynamic if say you can't pair those two. And that's by making a trio or bigger found family group, so there's an overall team dynamic going on. I'm just thinking to myself if that's an avenue where we might be seeing more bl like stuff or just fandom getting into stuff. My Roommate is a Detective leaned this route, as did Detective L (Detective L low key shipped the main lead man and woman but the trio element let them keep it from too much focus as they didn't want heavy focus on that, meanwhile mriad oppositely leaned heavy into the bl pair).

On another note. Xiao Se reminds me of Shang Qinghua in svsss a tiny bit, except if he was smarter sjjdjd

I just love Xiao Se okay. He's like a Nirvana in Fire prince got kicked out of politics, retired to run a little in to survive, and the entire jianghu of martial artists suddenly swarmed him like the plague with their super moves and flying fire and he was like... goddamn I'm just trying to get to Xueyue city for some money I inherited... I love deeply he doesn't do martial arts and yet that's the Genre hes in. It's like contemplating in Word of Honor if palace shit plot was going on with a bunch of totally mundane people, then like one just fell smack dab into jianghu martial politics. Like OOPS I shouldn't be here.

[pwnyta]

I don't know why I was randomly reminded of this, but a little ways back (could've been a couple years by now, I don't keep track of time) there was like, a video of a K-Pop gal who wasn't really paying attention but when the music starts she immediately starts the routine they have for it before she focuses and continues on

And I remember someone (possibly on tiktok) saying this was a TRAUMA RESPONSE??? That she can do the dance perfectly without even thinking about it

Like, nah????? That's called PRACTICE?????? They do that routine so often that she could probably do it in her sleep, it's not a TRAUMA RESPONSE

People learn One (1) psychology term and they never shut the fuck up about it (or learn how to use it properly)

LMAO... God damn... these fuckin people and their delusions that they can be therapists and diagnose people by watching AN video of a person.

I remember when some of the BBCLock fandom thought they were hardcore detectives that could solve real mysteries because the show was SOOO great at teaching them to look closer at details or w/e... SMDH I watched that show its dog shit it didnt teach you nothing. The secret episode fiasco probably cut them down at the knees tho. That was pretty funny.

IDKY BBCLock fans had to catch a stray here but... I mean...

I guess Im just saying

[imherebabycakes]

SHEABUTTABABY🍯🍫 pt3

donnie\femreader tmntbayverse 14/16 the guys are 20+

*i do not own anything tmnt*

i didn’t proof read a damn thing😂(sorry)

my oc’s name is Blaze,Neptune Marie

24

military veteran

a black woman from the south side of washington dc

she’s 5’5

has light grey eyes

black wavy hair *bra length*

lets just say she’s the type of woman you’d see in king magazine. she fire 🔥

loves trap, the 90’s hip hop r&b as well as Jamaican country

chill & laid back, can twerk also

……………

so there we stood, the purple masked terrapin & myself , blushing at one another looking dumb as hell

ehemm…..are you to okay? raph say’s staring at me & his brother with a sly grin on his face.

umm yea…..yea im straight, i say almost instantly snapping out of a trance, and perking up as if i wasn’t just imagining donnie kissing me all over.

donnie! you good? mikey asks

oh yea mikey im…uh never better donnie answered. obviously lying through his gap teeth.

i peep the scene and its hella awkward and stuffy even if being outside.

well guys, umm it was nice to meet y’all but i better get home,im jhi tired…

jhi? what does that mean? mikey asks with a slight giggle.

well in dc its slang & we use it to emphasize a few things but in this case it just took the place of the word really.

ohhhh wow thats so cool, i love dc slang its different

im glad you do mikey,

but guys i do have to get gone. i got work in the morning unfortunately. as i got my stuff in the car i pop back out an ask , umm do you guys wanna link up again or is this just a one time thing?

well idk, will you tell people of our existence? asked leo hoping right in face , a little to close but i guess this was his attempt at coming off threatening . which wasn’t working at all

i chuckle to myself as i slide a little to the left to get some space between us,

“nah man i wont tell a soul” thats my word.

he looks me over and huffs “yea well see”,

almost immediately they ascend back to the roof tops disappearing into the night. 

see later sexy chocolate!!! mikey yelled

shut up mikey !! the rest

them yell in unison.

………….time jump…..2weeks later

it was now friday 5:30pm finally free from the plantation i call work. while walking to my car i thought about a few things, like i loved my job as an SPO, working at Children’s hospital  but my real passion is fashion design and today my sergeant caught me drawing a few sketches while on duty and grilled me for it.

she can kiss my black ass and i mean it , i cant stand that old bitch it wasn’t even that serious to be honest .

walking out of the elevator and into garage towards my car all i could think about were those four unique brothers out of my head, Especially the tall one in purple.

now that i think about it i didn’t even get his number, shit i been out the game for a while , but its cool i’ll see them again one of these days….. right?

i sigh and push all those thoughts to the back of my mind. i threw my sketch books and gear in the car and drove off.

about 25 minutes later i sluggishly enter my cold apartment kick my shoes off,lock the door then proceed to my bedroom. i plopped down my lush king sized bed, looking at the ceiling lost in my thoughts of the full day i had and the next thing i knew i fell asleep.

i woke up around 10pm realizing i had fell asleep in my clothes, i reluctantly made my way to the bathroom where i ran the shower to get it nice and hot to my liking, while stepping in the air/steam relaxed me even more, damn this feels good, i needed this….

donnie pov

its been almost 2 1/2 weeks since we’ve seen blaze.

patrols have been the usual not alot of foot clan activity a few attempted muggings but nothing has really changed.

but i noticed that i couldn’t concentrate on any of my work since i seen that Beautiful woman.

i couldn’t get her out of my head, i mean i’ve been with other women before, yea they were mostly in the police department but still. hell i’ve even had a girlfriend once upon a time.

it was something special about blaze, and i honestly think its because she a black woman.

to be honest i i’ve always been with a white woman or latin or asian and i don’t know much about black women or culture for that matter outside of rap & r&b music that i listen to.

or what the media sometimes portrays but im not one to judge and everything is not what it seems so i don’t stereotype people. i mean i wouldn’t have room to judge anyways im a mutant turtle for crying out loud. i sigh slumping in my chair, i don’t know what to do.

you should go see her bro,im sure she’d be happy to see you again, she seems cool even though i didn’t think you’d go for her type say’s mikey

umm……mikey first off how long have you been standing there listening to me? and secondly whats my type?

long enough to know you got the hots for blaze…..look bro she likes you man.

i saw the way y’all looked at each other. she fine as hell but you know usually go for white skinny girls like april.

you know the runway “model type”. & blaze is the opposite she’s got body oddy oddy for days he said laughing.

you cant handle all that wagon she’s draggin ,but you better get on that and wife her up before i do… he says slyly.

oh please mikey she doesn’t want you , your to immature for a woman like that and plus her having a curvy body doesn’t matter to me in fact that’s actually what i like about her

yea ok Donnie, im not the one who needs convincing , you’ve fucked only skinny white, latin,or asian woman only . you sure blaze isn’t just some fetish for you bro?

what!! of course not mikey i’ve only fucked those other women because thats all thats around us, people usually date who’s in close proximity to them you idiot. if more curvier women lived around here black woman included then maybe i would date them.

umm bro sorry to burst your bubble big bro but the thing is, black woman mostly definitely are around, and there’s alot that work in the police department to . open your eyes dude and admit you have a type he says laughing and walking away

damn he got me stumped… i…i guess i do, well did have a type but obviously not anymore. i gotta see Blaze again.

turning to my computers i figure its time for some hacking and background checking.

(blazes pov)

…..

after that lovely shower and hot meal, i decided to sit on my balcony with some wine to look out onto the city. as im sitting there, i think about my life and whats ahead,like how i love fashion and design, and my dream is to be big time designer. but how will i get there.

just as I’m pouring another cup of wine my phone starts vibrate uncontrollably then all of a sudden a greenish hologram of green bean Donatello pops up

“hey there, its ummm Donatello you know the turtle guy!?….anyways umm well i hope im not interrupting anything. i’m a bit of a computer whiz & nerd hence me hacking in your phone .  I just wanted to say that you seem cool and I would like to meet up again sometime if that’s OK with you?

that’ll be great donnie i don…..

THIS IS A RECORDED MESSAGE !

HIT 1 FOR YES OR 2 FOR NO!

THIS IS A RECORDED MESSAGE !

HIT 1 FOR YES OR 2 FOR NO!

all right all right!. sheesh give me a second , feeling a bit stupid because i thought it was a live conversation . (hits 1) “you’ve chosen number 1, please stand by for follow up text.” then like turning off a tv the hologram of him shut off

!Bing Bing Ding!

damn that was fast as shit donnie, you really wanna see my sexy ass huh i joke. i open my phone and the text read

hey blaze this is donnie again, im glad you said yes, if you can, please meet me at the same spot where we met at 7:30 pm 2 blocks away from the double take on saturday. well im looking forward to seeing you😂😅

i chuckle to myself at the thought of he’s such a nerd, but a fine ass one, and i’ve honestly been thinking about this for weeks now. not knowing what he wants to meet up for specifically i don’t know what to put on. I want to look good but I also don’t wanna overdo it. aw who am i kidding i look good naked, he’ll like me in whatever. plopping on my bed i drift off to sleep with the wonders of whats to come tomorrow.

mmmmm…. donnie!

(Donnie pov)

yes yes and hell yes!!! i screaming and squealing while fist pumping in my lab chair,

whoa i say getting overwhelmed i have a date, well not a date date. but we’re meeting up! got damnit its a date thats unofficially officially a date! 

omg omg omg this is amazing…

wheeeew,wheeeeeeew….calm down donnie this is not your first date, relax buddy i say to myself. its honestly not my first date but with a girl like her it might as well be. I wonder what we will have to talk about she’s so much different than girls ive dated before, down to her her body ,skin tone ,her lingo and where she’s from. sitting down on my bed, i sigh and lay back with only one thing on my mind, in the words of Tpain

IM SPRUNG!!!!

…time jump 3pm next day…..

( blaze pov)

I don’t know why I’m so nervous this man has me sweating like a hooker in church, not wanting to do too much I just do what drake said. put my hair tied up and chill with no make up on. and if he really fucks with me like he says then he’ll see that I’m beautiful naturally. but in the meantime all this planning gotcha girl hungry I think a quick meal will suffice nothing too heavy though, probably like a BLT with some chips because i don’t want the bubble guts on the first meet up.

time jump 7:28pm saturday night

(donnie pov)

hopping on the roof, i stare at the city below me, i got here with 3 minutes to spare. blaze should be here any minute now. well i might as well sit and wait and sing.

(start singing his version of ushers “nice N slow” )

its seven o clock on the dot im on the root top, looking at the city,….i’ve got a real pretty pretty black queen that im waiting to see, when she pulls up, ill be anticipating, her good looks, damn she’s amazing, i got plans to my hands on her waist,looking up to see if she’s really feeling me!! let me take you to the park where its quiet, there ain’t no one there to attack us, i can feel the rush, cuz i just wanna get to know you more…… blaze tell me what you wanna do

(blaze pov)

pulling up to the same spot i almost got robbed at made me uneasy, but since donnie was meeting me here i knew i was okay. i do one last look in my rearview mirror to look at my hair and face. and like i said earlier, I kept it chill and i put on my favorite black juicy sweatsuit & my black & white Jordan 12’s and my hair was in a messy bun. and i couldn’t forget my mouskatool. getting out the car i start to text donnie to let him know im here, when i hear singing and beautiful singing at that, i slightly walk into the alley where i hear the melody an look up to see my green bean singing what sounded like ushers nice and slow song

i didn’t want to startle him so i let him continue, & what i heard next made a shiver go down my spine, not only could he sing well but if im not mistaken he’s singing about… well me!! at least i hope he is. unless its about another black queen. not wanting to waste any more time I shoot him a text.

you sound amazing!….and am i a queen to you? 

(donnie pov)

hearing my phone go off I figure blaze is on her way but to my horror i see,

 **you sound amazing!….and am i a queen to you?**

which means not only was she here but she’s been here and not only has she been here she heard me singing and not just singing but singing about her. naturally my heart went to my ass and i felt my stomach tighten immediately. im so embarrassed. then i hear blaze say

**YO Rapunzel let down your hair! she says laughing. c’mon down here song bird or should i come up there?**

ummmm no ill come and get you give me a sec. i flip down and see blaze staring at me smiling at me with those beautiful grey eyes and she has cute button nose. wait when did she get a nose piercing? has that always been there?. man does she look stunning , i mean she’s effortlessly beautiful, her hair was in a messy bun and she had a simple but cute track suit on that hugged that body of her’s sheesh. baby got baaayyyack . snapping out of it i realize she’s leaning in for a hug, OH SHIT HUG HER YOU IDIOT*

hugging donnie i say, damn i didn’t know you had pipes like that green bean, you sound amazing. you remind me of a 90’s r&b singer,i love that. noticing he’s in a daze i snapped twice in his face, hello earth to Donnie are you there? “oh my bad blaze, sorry i got distracted. can you repeat what y said please?

shaking my head laughing i repeat myself. donnie i said your singing is amazing man. and what did you get distracted from that fast?

honestly blaze….. well..i got distracted by…umm… y-your beau…hmp…. I GOT DISTRACTED BY HOW BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE!!

going wide eyed by his raised voice and words , i just give a sly smile and say. like wise