#nandor knew guillermo wouldn’t be happy as a vampire

[charlieswebb]

thinking about nandor a lot lately. i wonder if he’s so in denial about his feelings and trying to hide them bc he never felt them this intensely. we see he has a few unhealthy romantic relationships throughout the series. he changes his own personality or that of marwas so they can stay together. he also seems to not really care about his romantic relationships from when he was a human, he can’t even remember his favorite wife. but guillermo is always there for him, he feels lost and unbalanced when he’s without him. we see this in Local News but also at the start of season 4 where he figures he must find a replacement for the role that Guillermo has been holding for so long. In episode 1 of season 1 we learn that nandor wants some space from guillermo but every time guillermo gives him that space he immediately wants him back. I still find it odd how much Nandor represses these emotions. Is it because they are unfamiliar? Is it because he really doesn’t want to curse Guillermo with vampirism? Why is he so afraid to just act on his feelings? We know he has no issue getting it on so why is Guillermo so special.

The most recent episode told us that nandor has always had an interest in guillermo. He remembers the thank you card Guillermo gave him when Nandor first hired him. Guillermo must have meant a lot more then Nandors other familiars. Something supporting Nandor not wanting to admit his feelings to protect Guillermo, is that Nandor turned his old familiar Benjy into a vampire. Nandor wanted to get rid of Benjy and he didn’t care about him. Nandor cares about Guillermo and doesn’t want to lose him. Nandor believes Guillermo only sticks around because he wants to be a vampire. If only Nandor knew how much Guillermo loves him…

[ourflagmeansheartbreak]

You’re losing me || wwdits Nandermo fluff

After killing Derek, needless to say Nandor could no longer think straight. He refused to talk to cameras and for two days hasn’t slumbered or feasted. He knew he had to do something. But wasn’t it too late? Nandor knew for over a decade to not get close, to not…

“Nandor” Nadja interrupted his thoughts and for that Nandor was more than grateful, “are you okay? You’ve been acting like a big American hamburger” it was making her sick being this nice, as she is used to screaming her way out of situations.

“I am okay, thank you Nadja” he muttered not looking away from the painting of him and his horse John, slightly dragging his finger through the hole Guillermo left with a dagger long time ago.

“Malakas” she yelled out, and rushing to him and forcefully turning him to face her, “you’re just like Laszlo, something’s wrong and then all of the sudden ‘yes, yes, very good, thank you’ “ she said mockingly out of anger. It’s not that she didn’t want to help, quite the opposite, she hated seeing her friends in pain. Especially Nandor. But the dummies never learned how to communicate, “now speak”

“I appreciate your help, Nadja” he smiled, “but I’m just alright” he let go of her and turned back to the painting.

“Fine, you don’t wanna talk, don’t. We are leaving now, but if you don’t think that when I come back I won’t sit down on your coffin until you speak, think again” Nadja stormed out, yet Nandor seemed unbothered.

Sometimes he’d look at the painting, dragging his finger around where the dagger used to be. Nandor felt like it was a big warning: a giant wall standing between him and… Guillermo.

It was difficult when he was just a familiar, then it was even more complicated when they found out he’s a vampire killer, and even more terrifying when he disobeyed and turned himself into a vampire.

‘Treat them mean, keep them keen’ is what he was taught. With his soldiers, with his wives and husbands, with his familiars. But Guillermo has never been keen. And that both intrigued and terrified him.

And it has never been in Nandor’s nature to be warm and cuddly. After all he was a slaughtering machine from his birth till now, and when he thinks about him, he wouldn’t love him either, a pathological people killer.

But he’ll do it. Everyone’s out of the house, except for him and Guillermo. And he’ll do it.

He launched himself down the stairs, nervously waiting to “accidentally” bump into Guillermo. And after standing there for solid 15 minutes, it seemed much easier in movies, he thought. He was just happy the cameras were out of the house with Laszlo and Nadja.

“Guillermo” he yelled out not being able to wait there any longer, “I need to speak to you”

“Yes, master?” He appeared as it seemed out of thin air right behind him, scaring him.

“How are you feeling, Guillermo?” He couldn’t think how to open, and ‘I would like to marry you’ seemed a little too forward. It was dangerous territory, if he rejects Nandor, he’ll most likely have to leave. And Nandor won’t be able to stop him as hypnosis no longer work on Guillermo.

“I have a headache” he nodded.

“I used to have those in Al Quolanudar whenever one of our wives would hit me at the back of my head with a rock” he laughed trying to release the tension.

“What?” Guillermo looked confused.

“My wives” he corrected himself, suddenly missing the camera to which he could uncomfortably turn to.

Guillermo looked at him with the look that could only translate into “you’re losing me”. “I’m losing you” Nandor thought back.

“I think I’ll go to sleep, master, I’m very cold” Guillermo muttered as he tried to walk past him but Nandor stopped him.

He slowly walked closer to the short man, with his right hand wrapping Guillermo with his cape. That’s better, he thought.

“Perhaps it is time you call me Nandor” yes, that’s great start, he thought.

“Okay” Guillermo blushed a little, although through that thick beard it was difficult to see. But Nandor could. He always did, “Nandor”

Nandor stood there, smiling warmly at the man, and Guillermo smiled back. He couldn’t help but wonder if he was smiling because he enjoyed his company, or because he was… feeling like he had to. There’s no going back now, he thought.

Nandor gently put his free left hand on Guillermo’s cheek and without waiting leaned in to kiss him. He almost forgot what it feels like to kiss a human, so gentle, so warm. And for a second there Nandor thought that his heart might start again for him. But that was over. He pulled away as he felt Guillermo not returning the kiss. And with that he might have just stab him with the wooden stake because Nandor didn’t want to exist.

“I am sorry, Guillermo” he muttered lowly, “I didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable. I never kissed anyone with glasses before” he smiled uncomfortably, retracting the cape from the man.

“Shut up” to his surprise Guillermo pulled the taller man in again. He must have just been taken by surprise the first time around, he thought. Although Nandor no longer wanted to think. He was watching his fangs carefully as to not bite Guillermo accidentally, slowly pushing the shorter man to the wall.

It was fascinating. The lips so soft and gentle and warm, Nandor could lose himself in the insanity that is this kiss.

“I don’t want to lose you, Guillermo” he pulled away to gather his breath, but the man pulled him back in.

“You won’t” he muttered back.

So unbelievably beautiful that kiss was. Nandor has never felt such… what’s the word? Love? Before. Most his suitors were non human, vampires, werewolves, lovers brought from the dead, and none of them had the heart like Guillermo. So kind, so warm, so…

“Nandor!” Nadja yelled out standing across the hallway, making them both pull away, “is that your idea of ‘im okay’?”

Guillermo was smiling uncontrollably as Nandor turned around, and if he could blush, he would be painted red by now.

“I told you I’m fine, Nadja. Now more so” he smiled back at Guillermo, making Nadja curse in Greek as she ran to her room.

////////////////////

I was bored. Wrote some fluff based on this fanart and ‘you’re losing me’ song by Taylor Swift. ITS NOT MINE! Found it on Pinterest. Their vk k_e_r_e_r_e_k, if you know the artists please comment their @, I really want to give proper credits to them. This is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.

[rosewaterraindrops]

WWDITS and Women of Color

(context: I am a woman of color) 

I know most people have pretty much moved on, but I needed some time after S4E9 to collect my thoughts on this topic. I do think Marwa’s plotline falls into the sexist/racist trend of how WOC are often mistreated and/or used as one-note plot devices in fiction, and I’ve seen lots of people make really good points about why this is the case. I also saw some people make the point that all side characters are treated badly, and bring up characters like Gregor, Sean, Topher, and Benjy to make the point that Marwa’s plotline isn’t problematic, so I want to give my input on that point specifically. 

I think this argument is missing an important piece of context: there are multiple white men in the main cast. In the average work of fiction, there are more than enough WM that get to have their own personalities and interests and motivations - so if some of them are evil, or get killed off, or are otherwise treated badly, there are usually multiple examples of other WM who are the heroes and get happy endings. 

In WWDITS, there are two WM in the main cast, Laszlo and Colin Robinson. They are both fully fleshed-out characters that we’re supposed to enjoy and care about. So when other WM side characters are brought into the show, they don’t end up being the sole representation of WM in the show. In WWDITS specifically (not saying this always happens), this also ends up extending to men of color and white women, since we have Nandor, Guillermo, and Nadja in the main cast, and the Guide might as well be a main character seeing as she got an entire episode about her backstory. 

On the other hand, there are zero WOC in the main cast. In prior seasons, WOC have been introduced as one-episode, one-note characters meant to seem evil/manipulative or sad/desperate next to one of the main characters (ex. Jan, Celeste). The problem is NOT that evil or mistreated or pathetic characters can’t ever be WOC. The problem is that in WWDITS, like in many other fictional works, there are no other WOC at all, so the one-note portrayals of WOC that do exist end up being the only representation we get. 

When Marwa was brought in, I was so excited, because she seemed genuinely sweet and smart and had interests. Obviously we all knew she wouldn’t actually end up with Nandor, but I was hoping she’d at least get a somewhat happy ending for herself. But WOC in shows often don’t get to be loved or desired or cared for by other characters - instead their own happiness gets sacrificed for the sake of others. (Another clear example of this is the character of Bonnie Bennett in The Vampire Diaries.)

Yes, WWDITS side characters are all living in a horror story, and Marwa is a side character. But in the big picture, WM get to be every kind of character archetype there is, while WOC, if they even get included in a story, are often relegated to being mistreated and/or one-note plot devices. When this type of thing happens over and over again, it gets harder and harder to dismiss it as just a coincidence, and I feel like at this point in 2022 we need to be able to admit that it’s not. 

[starleska]

right motherfuckers here is my extremely hopeful theory for Colin Robinson after watching the newest ep

massive spoilers for What We Do In The Shadows, season 9 episode 3 - be warned

i think this is going to be an enormous bait-and-switch. hear me out:

Laszlo only knew of a couple of pages about energy vampires and read as far to see that they ‘expire’ when they turn 100. but does that refer specifically to the vampire themselves, or just to their physical body? if Colin Robinson is an energy vampire, or a being that subsists on pure energy... what if that means that his soul remains intact, but his humanlike body expires after 100 years instead? it would mean that Colin isn’t dead, so much as he has shed his skin, or outgrown his shell.

it may also be possible that Colin Robinson was already aware of his upcoming death. if Colin knew already, he would have seen the perfect opportunity to bond with Laszlo, because he knows what kind of man Laszlo is. that Laszlo did everything in his power to make Colin feel happy and included right up to his death. Colin could well have been genuinely disappointed that Nadja, Nandor and Guillermo didn’t really seem to really care for his 100th birthday, and decided to go along with Laszlo’s belief that he’s actually going to die.  this would give Colin the opportunity to pull the same prank on the vampires and Guillermo as he did back with C-Man and the other Colin clones during ‘Colin’s Promotion’. he would get a mega-drain of energy in the process - can you imagine how incensed they’d be to have mourned for Colin, only to find out he knew he was going to die and never said a word? especially Laszlo - he’d absolutely LIVID. we know Colin is a little shit who enjoys his work as an energy vampire. i wouldn’t be surprised at all if Colin isn’t really dead, just gone for a brief amount of time, and wanted to make a point about how unincluded he feels. this is my very hopeful theory. in all honesty, i’m devastated and emotionally compromised by Colin Robinson’s departure, and desperately hope he returns. if not - may he Rest In Peace, forever young, dumb, and full of cum 💖

[amazingmsme]

Nandor and Guillermo holding hands 🥺

Thank you for this, I’ve been dying to write something for wwdits! Nandor is v soft for Guillermo but he tries to hide it. Slight spoilers for season 3.

Guillermo couldn’t believe this. After everything he’s done for them! After all the slaying to save their lives, they stick him in a fucking cage like some animal that needs to be feared. On one hand, he could understand it, but on the other, he knew they were dillusional jerks. There was no way he’d ever consider hurting them, but he was seriously considering swapping out some of their jewelry for real silver.

Sure the situation wasn’t so bad. At least he could leave to go get some actual food, and now he had all the time in the world to binge his shows. He was laying on his bed in the middle of an episode of Gilmore Girls when he got a visitor.

“Hello Guillermo. I just wanted to check up on you and see how you are doing,” Nandor said, announcing his presence. Guillermo didn’t look at him, only taking one earbud out.

“Oh hey Master. I’m fine.”

Nandor stood there, looking slightly lost. He walked over to the cage, resting his chin on one of the bars as he looked down at his familiar.

“Are you sure?”

“Mhm. Just peachy,” he answered, tone a little tense.

“… Are you sure?”

“Yes. I’m watching Gilmore Girls. Do you want something, or did you just come down here to stare at me?” he asked, his frustration slipping through.

“Progress is slowly being made in deciding your fate. I think I’m starting to convince them not to kill you,” he said, offering a small smile.

“Yippee,” he said in a monotone, raising one hand weakly in the air.

“Guillermo are you mad at me? You know it wasn’t my idea to imprison you.”

“No, whatever made you think that Master?” he asked, sarcasm clear in his voice.

Nandor stuck his arm in the cage. “I’m sorry about all of this. Give me your hand.” Guillermo paused the episode, looking at him skeptically.

“Why?”

“Because I’m sorry about all of this. And I really think you could use a-“ he paused, visibly struggling to say the next word. “Ffffriend right now.”

Guillermo couldn’t help the small smirk that graced his lips as he placed his hand in Nandor’s. “Wow, that was really hard for you to say,” he teased. Nandor nodded, not meeting his eyes.

“Look Guillermo, I miss having you around, and not only for chores. I promise that things will work out. Do you believe me?”

Guillermo let out a heavy sigh. “Well it wouldn’t be the first promise that never came through.” Nandor gave his hand a slight squeeze.

“Hey none of that. I’m serious, I’m going to fix this.”

“… Okay.” He sounded tired and dejected. Nandor gave a small pout.

“I haven’t seen you smile at all since we stuck you in here.” Guillermo scoffed.

“Well gee, I wonder why.”

“You know it wouldn’t kill you to smile every once in a while. Just go “hi Nandor, it’s great to see you,” or “hello Nadja, you look lovely this evening.” It might help your case.” Guillermo looked at him with an unamused expression.

“Why, so she can just hiss at me and throw more raw chicken at my face?” he sassed.

“Hey I thought you loved your chicken! You always eat it all by the time we give you more.” Guillermo shot an annoyed look towards the cameraman outside the cage. Nandor reached in with his other hand and turned his head to look at him.

“Hey, I’m really trying here. And I just wish I knew how to make you happy.” Nandor dropped his gaze to the ground, tracing light shapes on Guillermo’s wrist. His lips twitched up as he gently tugged on his arm. Nandor’s grip tightened so that he couldn’t escape the touch. His brows were furrowed and he had an adorable pout.

“Heey, I am trying to be nice here!” he scolded.

“S-sorry master,” he stuttered, watching as Nandor’s larger hands wrapped around his own.

“Some of my wives would do this when I was upset to try and calm me down. It never worked, but I would pretend it did,” he admitted. Guillermo let out an amused snort.

“Of course you did master.” He wore a small smile that wasn’t quite genuine.

“Mhm. So could you at least pretend like I did?” he asked, a little snappish. Guillermo rolled his eyes. He then flashed a clearly fake smile, all teeth and dimples.

“Okay that was a bit much,” Nandor deadpanned.

“Hey, you said to pretend,” he teased.

“Yes, but you ruined the mood!” he said, throwing a hand up in the air. Guillermo arched a brow.

“There was a mood?” Nandor sighed, running a hand down his face.

“Yes, there was, but you ruined it now!” he whined, crossing his arms and pouting. Guillermo had to fight off an amused smirk.

“I’m sorry master. Here, try again,” he offered his hand through the bars of the cage. Nandor took his hand once more, tracing spirals and shapes from his wrist to the palm of his hand. Guillermo tried to stay still, he really did, but his palms were incredibly sensitive and Nandor’s tracing was driving him mad. Giggles bubbled up his throat and his fingers tried to curl in a fist as he tried to twist his hand away.

Nandor smirked, scratching at the center of his palm. Guillermo shrieked and fell into a giggling fit, nose scrunched adorably. “Nahahandohor don’t!”

“You never told me your hands were ticklish! That’s so funny,” the vampire teased. He blushed and hid his face in his other hand.

“You nehehehever ahahasked!” he shrieked.

“Well I’m certainly going to do this more often now that I know,” Nandor declared as Guillermo descended into bubbly laughter. And he really didn’t mind.

[sunaddicted]

19 Nandor X Guillermo 👀

19. Things you said when we were the happiest we ever were

Not gonna lie, this was hard because I had no idea whose POV to use because Nandor's opinion of when they were the happiest probably isn't the same as Guillermo's lmao - this is set immediately after s2 finale (yeah, it's angsty)

First time actually writing a fic for these two so, comments and constructive criticism are welcomed ♡

***

Nandor barely remembered what it felt like to choke, for the chest to feel like it had caved in because of the sudden disappearance of lungs and heart while the throat spasmed and constricted around what essentially was nothing - just emptiness, absence.

His long-dead body remembered, though - seven-hundred-and-fifty-eight years after he had taken his last shuddering breath while a beast he couldn't hope to slay had torn into his neck and taken his mortality away from him, Nandor's body remembered how it felt like to be out of breath even if, biologically speaking, he didn't need air anymore to survive and breathing was a mere reflex that had inexplicably endured while other vestiges of his humanity had been eaten away at by the incessant flowing of time.

It wasn't really surprising that the feeling had been evoked by Guillermo: he had this strange ability of bringing out the most human parts of him, no matter how half-forgotten and anachronistic for the times they lived in - he hated him for it.

It also was the reason why he clung to him - to his humanity - so hard: it felt good to remember that he had been someone before being turned into a creature of the night. If he turned Guillermo, who else would help him remember that once he had been more than a member of the living dead? No familiar before him had succeeded at it, it wasn't enough to just keep around someone human - it had to be him.

And Guillermo wanted to leave.

Nandor remembered a time when the thought wouldn't have even been the whisper of a breeze amidst Guillermo's thoughts, when his devotion wouldn't have allowed him to even consider a future without his master in it.

A time when they had been happier.

"You're my familiar"

Guillermo shrank in his trenchcoat, only to regret it when the collar brushed against his neck and jaw, smearing cold and sticky blood against his clammy skin "What I'm trying to say-"

Nandor shook his head, put his palm up in the air - pleading, begging for Guillermo to stop while he hoped the other man saw it as a command, an order to obey "I don't want to hear it!" The words tumbled rashly down his tongue, harsher than he had intended them to "You're my familiar" the words weren't actually meaningful, they described Guillermo's status - the place he had in the household, as the only human residing amongst vampires.

The tone with which he said the words on the contrary, that was what the real deal was at.

Guillermo knew it, at some level of consciousness he was aware that Nandor was shitty with his words - that one had to read amidst lines and past verbal blunders of all kinds to get to the heart of what he really meant.

Guillermo was also tired of having to do all the work: standing in front of Nandor, covered in sweat and vampire blood and ashes, Guillermo felt exhausted - after all he had done to get to that point, everything felt meaningless "I can't be your familiar anymore" it meant so much more than that: I can't get you out of your coffin anymore when you're scared of being stuck in it; I can't play videos of glitter paintings when you're upset anymore; I can't braid your hair when you're feeling fancy anymore; I can't be the constant presence on your side anymore.

It hurt more than Guillermo had thought it would - even after leaving not once but twice, the finality in his statement still hurt.

Maybe he hadn't really expected to actually go through with it, once and for all; maybe, deep down, he had thought that he would sweep in, save Nandor and that thing would change; maybe he had hoped to feel just as happy as the first time the vampire had uttered the words he was so desperately throwing at him now.

You are my familiar.

Maybe it was a sign that he couldn't pinpoint happier memories after the start of his servitude. There had been happy times, memories that Guillermo cherished in the depths of his heart, but somehow, they had all been slowly poisoned by the constant miasma of death and mistreatment around him while the thought that Nandor wasn't going to turn him slowly sneaked into his consciousness and flowered like deadly nightshades.

"I don't care that you're a vampire killer!"

"You don't care or you don't mind?"

"I've been held hostage, I'm not in the mood to quibble and quabble over words!"

Guillermo sighed "Squabble"

Nandor waved his hand in the air "Squibble, squabble. Care, mind. Quid pro quo. What's the difference?"

At that point, none: it was just word vomit "I just need to leave, Nandor"

"Why? You owe me an explanation!"

"Like you owe me a death?"

The vampire pursed his lips in what he was sure Guillermo would define as a pout - he wasn't pouting (just like he wasn't this close to hyperventilating - he couldn't be, he couldn't really breathe afterall) "I said I would turn you, you're just very impatient"

"Eleven years-"

"-are a blink of an eye for an immortal"

Why was he surprised that Nandor was trying to spin his refusing to turn him into some kind of exercise to teach Guillermo patience? Didn't he know the other by now, almost as intimately as he knew himself? "It doesn't matter, I need to leave"

"You're my familiar, Guillermo - until I release you from my service, you're mine" Nandor stepped closer, putting his cape on the other's shoulders - it was already ruined anyway "You'll still be mine while you're away and you'll be mine when you come back"

Guillermo tightened the cape around himself, shivering despite its weight and lining of furs: he never knew how different "you're my familiar" and "you're mine" could sound - he never knew he had needed Nandor to say the latter over the first.

He still turned away.

There were things he needed to work on before he could be back.