#nb age re

[a-cloudy-dayy]

A STARTER GUIDE FOR NEW CAREGIVERS

this guide goes for any new caregivers out there that want to start caring for a kiddo so badly but don't even know where to start :]

🫐 first of all: don't freak out, learning is always important and this is your time!

🫐 make sure to establish boundaries and/or rules with the kiddo you're gonna take care of

🫐 ask if the relationship will stay platonic or romantic beforehand (very important!!!)

🫐 be careful with your words, don't cuss, be kind and respectful to them

🫐 allow yourself to take time off your caregiver duty

🫐 ask which games they like to play, which toys they enjoy playing with

🫐 get to know your kiddo, it's important to know their triggers or phobias

🫐 if you have time, write down the routine you and your kiddo should follow

🫐 if you're long distance make sure to reassure them that you are there, call if you feel comfy with that, send pictures, tag them in nice posts

🫐 reassurance is important also if you take care of more than one kiddo

🫐 ask them about their day even if it's just happy nonsense babbles please listen to them

🫐 listen to their concerns and tricky questions

🫐 respect their alone time and they should respect yours as well

🫐 clean their baby gear, put their stuffies all neatly in bed, make them yummy snacks

🫐 learn about their allergies and the foods they just can't eat!!

🫐 reward them for their good behavior or if they try hard enough staying big during the day!

🫐 spend time outside, make sure to protect them from the weather everytime

🫐 talk to them about your interests they will love it!

🫐 stablish a healthy bedtime schedule

🫐 put your mental health as a priority, this shouldn't be a weight on your shoulders, listen to your needs

🫐 don't make them tell you things about their past or things that are traumatic, if they refuse just let it go, don't pressure them

🫐 always listen, it's more important than you think

also for caregivers of pet regressors:

🫐 get the food they like the most

🫐 give them treats snacks

🫐 teach them tricks!

🫐 take them out for a nice walk around the park if they like it!

and last but not least, enjoy yourself, allow yourself to slip into that caregiver headspace and have fun! even when it's a hard time it should still be something enjoyable to do for both you and your kiddo <3

let me know if you want me to add anything else to the list :D

[sporesgalaxy]

RE: willing the body to change. AFAB here. I came out as NB when I was 18. I cut my hair and BOOM instantly started growing a beard. Developed a hormone 'imbalance' overnight well past normal puberty age. I joke I willed it into existence. Bodies are freakin weird man.

THATS SO COOL HONESTLY. INSANELY BADASS.

[librarycards]

Hello! Your posts are very enlightening and I'm inspired by how much you read. Might be a weird question and I'm sorry if it is but do you have any good book recommendations for a USAmerican trying to expand their worldview? I.e., histories of other countries/global regions, imperialism, etc.

i have some, but also recommend looking through @metamatar / @fatehbaz / @lafemmemacabre / @killy / @sawasawako / @handweavers (these are the mutuals that stand out to me but just the tip of the iceberg) &other blogs that have a more robust collection of resources –– i have learned a lot from them over the years!

that said, here are some books and authors whose oeuvres/at least multiple books i strongly recommend. different genres, and i'm not delineating between them as i am ideologically opposed to Doing That/creating epistemic hierarchies. obviously, that is particularly true given the nature of this ask. but it should be pretty clear what is considered a standard 'political/historical nonfiction' book and what...isn't!

authors:

Lisa Lowe

Jasbir Puar

Laila Lalami

Sara Ahmed

Trinh T. Minh-ha

Jamaica Kincaid

b. binaohan

Larissa Lai

Edwidge Danticat

Harsha Walia

Bhanu Kapil

books:

Atef Abu Saif, The Drone Eats With Me: A Gaza Diary

Tsitsi Dangarembga, Nervous Conditions

Pankaj Mishra, Bland Fanatics: Liberals, the West, and the Afterlives of Empire

Leila Khaled, My People Shall Live

Susan Williams, White Malice: The CIA and the Covert Recolonization of Africa

Minae Mizumura, The Fall of Language in the Age of English

Chandra Talpade Mohanty, Feminism Without Borders

Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz, Not a Nation of Immigrants

Saidiya Hartman, Lose Your Mother

Mimi Sheller, Mobility Justice: The Politics of Movement in an Age of Extremes

Marwa Helal, Ante Body

Aviva Chomsky, Central America's Forgotten History (NB: forgotten by usamericans, that is)

Raja Shehadeh, Palestinian Walks: Forays into a Vanishing Landscape

Moraga, Anzaldúa, and Bambara, eds., This Bridge Called My Back

Poupeh Missaghi, trans(re)lating house one

Marisol de la Cadena, Earth Beings

Kathryn Joyce, The Child Catchers: Rescue, Trafficking, and the New Gospel of Adoption

Bonaventure Soh Beje Ndikung, Pidginization as Curatorial Method: Messing with Languages and Praxes of Curating

Linda Tuhiwai Smith, Decolonizing Methodologies: Research and Indigenous Peoples

again, this appears as a long list, but is truly just a taste of what's out there. i hope it helps!

[oneforthemunny]

I love the post re Rockstar and NB’s girls and their manners! Deuxmoi is inundated with messages from service workers who cannot say enough about how nice the girls are (even when they’re grown) and that Eddie tips so well, that NB always makes eye contact with servers and asks them about their jewellery or nail polish, making a connection. I liiiiiive.

The one thing Eddie won’t do is pay it forward for a cop in the drive thru line or in the coffee shop (ACAB babeeee). Anyone else, he’ll cover it (especially if the gals are with him and taking ages to order)

i think when kendall jenner and nicola plutz (idk the one brooklyn beckham married) when things start coming out about how shitty they are to people, their names are thrown in with the rest of the nepo babies and truly, everyone is shocked to find out how well behaved they are. one comment/story goes viral about a positive interaction with them, then it dwindles into a million. about eddie and nb too, how they've always been good to staff. honestly makes corroded coffin and nb's businesses boom bc people "stan" them.

"vega! what does this mean? we love a polite billionaire, instant stan- what, is this bad?"

[aita-blorbos]

Aita for letting one of my followers dissent after I refused to "prank" another one of my followers by making eat literal crap (again)?

I (Age doesn't matter for me anymore, nb) am a Shepherd to my Flock, and I am usually quite able and willing to tend to my followers' requests. One time, one of my followers (k, m, 27ish?) Asked me to prank another follower (j, f, 20ish?) By... making j eat literal poop. I, trying to be somewhat benevolent, followed through with that request. J ended up getting violently sick from the encounter, and even nearly died from it. A few days after J got better, K asked me to do it AGAIN!! I told him no, but he got... really mad and started to dissent. I couldn't even try re-education with him before he stole from the Flock's funds and ran off. I.. I don't even know what to say at this point.

Aita?

[thedrarrylibrarian]

Several people have been kind enough to let me publish their thoughts on fandom, community, and queerness to celebrate Pride in the Library. Today's piece comes from @wolfpants.

Dear readers, dreamers, and purveyors of the glittering, gilded aisles of the Drarry Library,

Fandom life began for me at age fifteen. We just got our first family computer, taking pride of place in the utility room between the boiler and my dad’s boxes of tools. I had recently come out as bisexual to my friends at school, who, props to them, had all taken it quite well despite the small town we grew up in (I was very lucky, they were great - everyone else though? Not so much). Still, even with supportive friends offline, I never felt like I could talk to them about what I really enjoyed: watching Buffy, reading Harry Potter and looking for queer subtext (I could never have convinced any of them that Harry’s story screams gay allegory–no matter what JKR has to say on the topic back then or now), scouring bookshops and libraries for any sort of queer content I could get my hands on, desperate as I was to read something that spoke to me, to read about love outside of the heteronormative landscape of the popular media. I wasn’t just tired of boy-meets-girl; I had never identified with it in the first place.

The year we got dial-up internet was the year I discovered Livejournal. The absolute joy I felt, stumbling upon an LJ community specifically dedicated to roleplaying Harry Potter characters in queer pairings. Discovering, beyond that, that people wrote stories about Harry and my other favourite queer-coded character of the series: Draco Malfoy. And then it was Wolfstar (specifically Sirius), then Drarry again, and somewhere along the way my lurking fell off and I stopped reading fic for a while when I moved to London and settled into my first job, my first real relationship, and sitting uncomfortably atop my bisexual identity and not really knowing where that shift happened and why. All the while, I was pursuing a writing career on the more journalistic side: writing for music and film outlets, doing a little bit of secret creative writing on the side, dipping in and out of HP RPGs but never really—connecting. In “real life”, my relationship with my ex was falling apart, and I felt very disconnected from the LGBTQIA+ community because, even though I knew I belonged, I never felt like I could be truly me with anyone—perhaps because I was, unknowingly, still discovering who I really was.

When the pandemic happened, it gave me the breathing space I needed to get to that point. It brought me back to fandom.

It started with reading The Popular Wolfstar Fic Everyone Was Reading, and reopening my ao3 account to re-read some old favourites from over the years. It then unrolled to, hey, I have some free time, why don’t I try writing my own Wolfstar fic for my oldest, dearest friend (who I met RPing on LJ at 15!), which then turned into: you should publish this, and see what happens.

So, I did. And I made a tumblr account, and I lurked for a while, shyly reblogging things and scrolling through author accounts I’d admired from a very young age, astonished and really fucking impressed that they were still in the game. I read their new fics, I was drawn back into Drarry, and from there I discovered what a wonderful community this is, not only for its immensely talented creatives, but for its values as a inclusive, equitable, supportive, uplifting, and joyful group of individuals who genuinely welcome everyone with open arms and love. That, in itself, has made it easy to reach out to like-minded folks here, to make life-long friends, to chat to people who have been through similar experiences in questioning their identities (it is truly thanks to this fandom and the many discussions I’ve had with people here that I’ve been able to realise my identity as a NB lesbian). To write! To share! To not be ashamed of my kinks and to discover fun, delicious rare pairs! To look at breathtaking art and read some of the best goddamn writing I’ve ever set eyes on!

I have spent thirty-seven years on this planet. A good chunk of that time has been spent questioning many parts, pieces, and niggly jiggly bits of my identity. Who am I? What am I? Is there anyone out there who is just like me?

After many years of searching in the dark, of asking these questions over and over, I can joyously say that the answer is: yes. And oh, how thankful I am for that, for all of you, because fandom has really been the community I can categorically point to and say: they did that for me, we did that for we, and I will do anything for you.

Happy pride.

Thank you, Wolf, for joining me in the Library. Your love and joy for fandom have left me feeling quite tender-hearted, in the best way. It's so so good to ask the question "Is there anyone out there who is just like me?" and find over and over that the answer chorusing back is "yes." Thank you for adding your yes to our chorus, and joining me for Pride in the Library.

If you want more @wolfpants be sure to check out their work on AO3! I can't help but recommend the fic that made me fall in love with her writing in the first place, Pages of You, which I've featured previously for Happy Hour. It's got Drarry and Wolfstar, and is one of my favorite comfort rereads.

🏳️‍🌈 Lots of Love and Happy Pride! 🏳️‍🌈

[periodiccompletionist]

50% of 118 is 59; 75% of 118 is 88.5; 90% of 118 is 106.2

Periodic Symbols are: H He Li Be B C N O F Ne Na Mg Al Si P S Cl Ar K Ca Sc Ti V Cr Mn Fe Co Ni Cu Zn Ga Ge As Se Br Kr Rb Sr Y Zr Nb Mo Tc Ru Rh Pd Ag Cd In Sn Sb Te I Xe Cs Ba La Hf Ta W Re Os Ir Pt Au Hg Tl Pb Bi Po At Rn Fr Ra Ac Rf Db Sg Bh Hs Mt Ds Rg Cn Nh Fl Mc Lv Ts Og Ce Pr Nd Pm Sm Eu Gd Tb Dy Ho Er Tm Yb Lu Th Pa U Np Pu Am Cm Bk Cf Es Fm Md No Lr

EDIT: As of November 14th 2023, I've decided to start keeping track of when a post does not include a single-letter element. Single-letter elements are, in order: H B C N O F P S K V Y I W U. These posts will be tagged with "missing single".

Spaces, capitalization, emojis, numbers, and punctuation will not be taken into account. For example, the term "lush🍃13garden" would still count for Mercury (Hg). Letters are the only thing that interrupt symbols.

Anything that isn't a tally is tagged with "not a tally", asks are tagged with "Arsenic Potassium Sulfur", and posts people tagged me in are tagged "Thanks for the tag!" (because "tag" and "tags" unfortunately can't be made with only elemental symbols. they could if we had G but we do not)

Some things to keep in mind:

I try to avoid any piece of moving media (video/gif) that has words in it of any kind. I'm already a transcriber as a job, and while I love it, I'm not gonna do it on my silly little side blog.

I usually don't analyze anything fandom-related, since nothing good can come from a fandom post leaving its circle. There are some exceptions I'll make, though.

I use a script to search for the symbols, but it can't read the words in images, so they have to be retyped into the script 100% manually. I'll most likely still do it, but just keep that in mind when sending in posts with lots of images.

I'll only analyze posts where it's very clear what order things are read in; charts, graphs, doodle pages, and other images with words all over the place won't be counted.

When it comes to URLs, I don't count them for the main tally unless they show up in a screenshot or as a tag somewhere in the thread; instead, the URLs of the users in the thread are listed out afterwards in their own separate tallies, with the elements listed in the order that they appear in the person's URL (this does not include URLs that only appear in screenshots/tags).

If you tag me in a post, I won't be counting anything that you added to the thread, though you will still be part of the secondary URL tally.

When I make a tally, I (usually) won't be adding my own comments, and on the occasions that I do, whatever is in my comment is not added to the final tally.

I tend to stray away from analyzing posts with other similar gimmick blogs already in them these days. This is because we all tend to influence each other's results- for example, if I analyzed a post where alphabetcompletionist tallied up all 26 letters, that would (potentially) artificially add Cd, Mn, and No to my tally. If I did end up doing this, I would be highlighting Cd, Mn, and No in a different color to denote that they would not have been there had I not reblogged from alphabetcompletionist directly.

My main account is not disclosed at this time; please do not try and find out what it is or I will block you. Another blog I run that is publicly known is @cantheykillmacbeth, if you just want to see more from me.

There might be times where I will accidentally reblog from someone other than the source of the post, or where I can't due to the source having been deactivated. If you go digging into the people that I reblog posts from, I am not responsible for what you see. If you blame me for what you saw from the people I happen to follow, then you shouldn't have gone looking in the first place. That's on you.

I will not be adding my gimmick to posts about serious topics. This is not because I do not care about these topics, but the exact opposite: I do not want the gimmick of this blog to be used to detract from anyone's message. These sorts of gimmicks are meant to add to the humor of a post, not act as a twisted punchline to a serious discussion. If you tag me in a serious post, you will be ignored (at best).

I don't care how you feel about gimmick blogs. I'm having fun and you can't change that. Seethe.

[kkoen]

69ing with Kenma? :0

(づ˶•༝•˶)づ♡ all my love- all of it to you <333

Includes- 69,light streamer!kenma, smut, petnames, swearing, readers gender is not specified, (let me know if i miss anything) not proof read

𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙣𝙖 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙩? 𝙏𝙖𝙡𝙠 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙚 𝙤𝙣 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙘𝙤𝙧𝙙! -> ko <3#4009

↷ ·˚ ༘ :: 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 :

a/n; I will never say this enough.. The amount of serotonin I get when I receive an ask is so unreal <333 In love with everyone who asks me for fic's

WARNING!!! NSFW CONTENT UNDER THE CUT IF YOU ARE UNDER THE AGE OF 18 DNI

it all started out when Kenma was streaming.

chat was telling him to look up what 69 meant as he didn't know the meaning behind it.

he honestly wish he didn't look that shit up.

Though he was intrigued by what he saw, the boy told his viewers that what they told him to do was highly inappropriate before continuing on with the game he was playing.

---------------

Later that evening, Kenma left from his office to find you in bed scrolling through various social media platforms.

"hey sweetheart"

his voice was soft, talking about how the stream went and how far he got in the game he was playing that day.

Then he told you how his viewers 'tricked him' into looking something so sexual up on stream.

"oh did you now.?"

"would you like to try it out?"

His face now a bright red, embarrassed about what you said.

-------------

He couldn't deny the offer. He did find the idea of it arousing.

And oh lord.

the way you sucked him off while he made you feel so good. How your pretty moans around his cock made him so fucking desperate to cum in your mouth.

He loved every second of that night. <33333

----------

random end fic thought; if we are being honest I feel like I would have done a better job with the fic if I made the reader female but I feel as though i haven't been posting enough nb reader fics. I might come back to this on a later date and re-do it with a female reader! <33

[yerbamansa]

Writing Patterns - First & Last Sentences

Tagged by @thetragicallynerdy - thanks for the tag! This was fun! You got me to make a tumblr post for the first time in a thousand years!

Editing to add @petrichorca for tagging me in the first part of the game - consider yourself tagged back for corresponding last lines?

I’m just combining two things because that seems handy.

Rules: list the first line of your last 10 (posted) fics and see if there's a pattern! Then list the last line of the same 10 fics you shared opening lines for and see if there's a pattern!

1. the secret middle-aged sad-sack mostly bad vibes I can sing along to playlist

First: Some things don’t change.

Last (most recent): Why the fuck, then, do they start sobbing?

2. the way things are going

First: Since things started falling apart, Oluwande learned the hard way to be careful about who to trust.

Last (most recent): Once he got it open, he read aloud: “‘Dear community and/or individuals, my name is Stede Bonnet…’”

3. Welcome to Jeff’s Inn by the Sea | Innkeeper Roleplay ASMR | Personal Attention | Realistic | Soft Spoken Male Voice

First: When Stede Bonnet’s boyfriend casually mentioned wanting to try making ASMR videos, he was all in.

Last: “I’ll have to think about that one, dearest,” he decided.

4. Rock On To The Oceanside

First: Ed Teach wasn’t built for sitting idle.

Last (most recent): And Ed felt ready.

5. Plus Ones

First: “So how did you two meet?”

Last: “Probably even better luck if we do it again.”

6. you can move in light divine

First: Oluwande had always loved Jim, probably from the moment they met.

Last: So many more conversations to come.

7. due to a controllable irregularity

First: It had been a good week, but Stede was looking forward to going home.

Last: He’d tell him. Soon.

8. an atypical emotional response to common sounds

First: Stede Bonnet had a complicated relationship with sounds.

Last: Stede couldn’t wait for Saturday.

9. Stede has started shopping for your order

First:  “Your GetMeGroceries shopper Stede has arrived at Jenkins Market!” the app informed Ed.

Last: For the moment, however, he had far more compelling priorities.

10. I Think I See The Light

First: Jackie’s traded her usual vivid reds for somber black, but she still looks every bit the part of the intimidating pirate queen.

Last: And they start humming a now-familiar tune as they scan the docks for a recognizable face: If you want to sing out, sing out…

NB: skipped one that’s a mostly abandoned group collab smau because that doesn’t seem indicative of my style, and there’s one here that needed the preceding sentence because otherwise it’s just one word.

Hmmm, so, self-analysis: I start with some kind of place-setting thesis statement. Sometimes it’s maybe a little in medias res, but not usually, I guess. The POV character is named more often than not. And I end on the edge of some kind of decision or change. That’s by design—I don’t like writing pat endings and happily ever afters (even if they are pretty happy). This is especially true for mid-fic chapters, I suppose, but it’s definitely how I approach endings in general! (There’s one fic I can think of that has a final sentence I fucking hate for reasons related to this but I don’t wanna go rewrite it because I am not sure what to change it to, and I’m really quite pleased with the rest of the fic!)

One thing that strikes me is that I can’t really tell from any of these firsts and lasts whether the fic is more funny or serious. It’s just a lot of interior monologue, really.I’m not sure if there’s anything here I specifically want to work on. Maybe experimenting more with diving right into the action?

ANYHOO. If you see this because you're still actually looking at your tumblr dash regularly (sorry sorry) and you wanna play, please do!! I won't stumble out of the woodwork and tag but I love you all ok byeee

[melodygatesauthor]

Big Announcement Regarding Requests

——

Hey guys. As I’ve been working more and more on fulfilling regular requests (this is in no way related to the 1k follower celebration drabbles, and I’ll address that further down) I’ve come to the difficult decision that I won’t be opening my requests again after I finish the ones that have piled up in my inbox.

Explanation below the cut if you care as to why:

For starters, let me say this: this doesn’t mean that my inbox will be closed. I’m still around if you wanna scream at me about a thot you had or say something about a fic I wrote or whatever! - I just won’t be taking requests for regular fics.

When I first started this blog I was trying really hard to get more involved with the community and I was THRILLED to have my inbox open to any and all requests that came my way. I had less projects I was working on and a LOT more time to work on fics.

As I gained popularity (which like thank you so much to everyone who is following me you have no idea how much all this means to me) I got so many requests that I had to shut down my requests temporarily. When I shut them down temporarily, my intention was to open them back up again at some point, and I thought it would only take me a month or so to do that.

It’s been almost 3 months that some have been waiting.

I know a lot of you (and oh my god do I appreciate you) are willing to wait ages for me to get my act together, but the amount of stress it gives me is making it less fun. I know it shouldn’t, but it does. I am going to reiterate here - I’M GOING TO FINISH ALL THE REQUESTS I CURRENTLY HAVE IN MY INBOX - (excluding Anonymous requests. I will be removing those just to cut down on the long list I have. I'm sorry, I just need to. This does not include ones I asked for like the 1k drabble requests and the nonnie who requested Nathan Bateman after I specifically asked for NB requests.)

This benefits both of us in the long run

It’s obviously going to help me feel less stressed which is good. But when I’m tied up with requests, you’re missing out on the original ideas I’ve got stashed away for when I have more time to work on them. Less requests means more time to work on those ideas.

I’m a fast writer, we all know this, but I still haven’t figured out how to write two fics at once lol. There are so many ideas that I’ve had to put on the back burner to get through requests and I don’t want us to have to wait even longer.

This doesn’t mean “requests” are done permanently.

One of my favorite things to is set up events where I write drabbles for the community. I’m going to still have events here and there for different milestones (follower celebrations), life events (birthdays, etc), holidays and more!

When those are happening, just check the rules and submit one if you want!

——

This was tough because I really do enjoy serving the community, but I have to worry about myself too. This is something I do for free and it’s supposed to be fun. If I’m not having fun, and my hobby is causing me stress, then I know I’ll start to suffer from burnout and none of us want that.

Who knows, I might change my mind and re-open them at some point, but as of right now that is not my intention.

Thank you all for understanding ❤️

P.S. If you're a writer with open requests, please feel free to mention it in the comments so readers looking for open request writers can find you!

[a-cloudy-dayy]

BEDTIME ROUTINE FOR REGRESSORS WITHOUT A CAREGIVER🍼☁️

🐑 try your best to eat all your dinner

🐑 have a nice warm shower/bath

🐑 remember to use your lotion/baby cream so your skin stays all soft

🐑 wear some comfy cozy pjs

🐑 make sure to comb your hair so it's all nice. if you have long hair try to do two braids so your hair doesn't tangle (and my babies with curly hair remember to use your bonnet!)

🐑 make yourself some warm milk/tea/hot choco

🐑 play a little game (that doesn't require extensive movement) for only 15 minutes

🐑 turn off all your electronics

🐑 turn on your nightlight (and soft music if it helps you sleep)

🐑 grab all your stuffies and cuddle them close

🐑 read a short bedtime story

🐑 close your little eyes and take a deep breath

you had such a long day baby, it's time to close your eyes and rest. no matter what happens you will be safe with your stuffies right beside you. you are valid, important and you are allowed to feel tired. rest well sweetheart <3

[thisintermezzo]

Gender thing.

Not related to the post I just reblogged, but to do with gender.

I see this stupid post sometimes that's like "wishing you were a girl is a symptom of being a girl! (:" and like. I wish it were worded as "*can be* a symptom of not being cisgender" or something. I get what OP meant, but I also spend more time than I want to admit wishing that I were a girl.

I'm AFAB and NB. But I'm not "pretty" even when I try, and I think I may be on the autism spectrum, so I've always been "weird and ugly" despite my best efforts, and I've never been very Good At being a woman. I stopped being able to identify with femaleness at like age 10, when I realized Girl was comfortable and attainable for me but Woman was a dysphoric nightmare.

Anyway lmao I wish I didn't feel like this and that I didn't feel like being AFAB meant I owed everyone my beauty or something. It sucks.

Re: that last reblog, I get how people in my situation might feel inclined to think of themselves as the "failed women" category, but I fully agree with the post in that... no, I'm just getting put in the Woman category whether or not it's accurate. Patriarchal gender stuff sucks and so does all the stuff we get forced to internalize.

Idk what my point was here. Just feeling frustrated about having to be perceived, I guess.

[imarara]

So, Fallen Hero: Retribution is out, and I'm obsessed.

We have a looooong wait for Fallen Hero: Revelations before us, so I thought we all might get some outlet for talking about all that happened.

MIND YOU, SPOILERS AHEAD

sorry for the lack of proper etiquette (i tried to google that but nothing of substance came up really, so I'm open to all suggestions). If you don't mind being spoiled the whole game, different routes or endings, or don't mind being spoiled, please, indulge me, I'm in my exam month and I cannot think about anything else lmao.

With that out of the way, let's discuss. One last warning, I'm going to be detailed in the descriptions and theories - and I'm starting with the biggest one that comes to mind.

Also, a disclaimer; for the time being I have used only two of my Fallen Hero: Rebirth saves, both of them being a cis woman MC with a woman Puppet, both times with the same eye color. My MCs have never killed and strived to expose truth about corrupted systems. I've replayed Retribution a few times already, trying out different routes in those scenarios to fish out all I can.

1.

After finishing the game by going to Hollow Ground in MC's body, there is something weird going on; weird enough to make Ortega think that MC and HG are blood-related. I've only played as a female, but I've read somewhere that HG's gender is dependent on the gender of out MC (though I'm not sure how it is when the MC is trans, whether HG is of the gender we are after transition or before, or even how it is with nb MCs).

As mentioned above, MC's and Puppet eyes are the same color - green. During Heartbreak, MC looks the telepath straight in the eyes. They are too, green.

It might be a very suspicious coincidence, but I do not think so. My first theory is that Heartbreak actually is our Puppet. The body is found is the hospital, comatosed, forgotten for years, no family ties and as MC puts it, it's a shell.

It is heavily hinted during interactions with Lady Argent, that the MC won't know everything the body is capable of, at least after there is the possibility of probbing consciousness of the host - which the Puppet lacks.

I've read that something weird begins happening to Puppet just at the end of Rebirth, if Mortum is with you in the hospital. In Retribution, there are constant reminders that something is off with Puppet, and at the very end in numerous routes it is HEAVILY suggested that the Puppet calling our henchperson is not MC.

If Chen let's the MC go into his head after Puppet and Ortega get into the accident, we find out that HG either is or works with, but probably is, a very powerful telepath with ability to influence what people say (maybe even think) about them, which is also hinted at when MC themselves goes into a meeting with HG.

HG has been a kingpin in LD for over 20 years at the time of Retribution. Our MC is made in the late eighties, which makes them around 30. My guess would be that HG might have been the source of their genes at that time, as well as Heartbreak's. Or, HG and Heartbreak have similar genes.

Heartbreak's age was not established as far as I know. HG is a very private person, that would not be too far-fetched to think they wouldn't try to out themselves for, let's say, getting back the body of their comatosed child.

I'd think that Heartbreak could be a Re-Gene as well, but there is something off - Ortega found somebody's files, somebody looking like MC, somebody's that was jailed (and we know government and the Farm are rather close), and in the memory sequences there are memories that do not belong to MC.

One that strikes me the most is a mention of a parent and a ballon - i might be completely wrong here, but I think there is one painting of a ballon tangled in a tree somewhere. I will find where it is and then will update this post.

Also Heartbreak's and Shroud's (they fight Lady Argent at the Casino Auction) descriptions are very similar if I recall correctly. It's just something that caught my attention, so there.

Aaaalso, it's very suspicious that MC always ends in the accident if they go to HG's meeting, ant then they cannot reach Puppet. Seems like someone is pulling the strings, and it is most possibly not HG themselves.

Additionally, neither Steel or Ortega seems to know what exactly Heartbreak was, and MC tbemselves struggled to look at the telepath, so it is possible they would not recognize Puppet. Though then again Ortega saw somebody's file with photos similar to the MC, and if it was Heartbreak's then the Puppet would have to be the same gender as well, so that's not exactly a foolproof theory.

2.

We know Locus, who is officialy missing, is connected to Dr Regina experiments. Dr Regina is heavily implied to be behind MC's trauma. We don't know if Locus is officially working with the Farm, or was she officially missing because she's got taken by them and then ran away from them.

Dr Mortum at one point, seemingly, mentions Locus. In some endings (probably when we give her the prototype Lady Argent was after) they say something very similar to what MC would say when questioned about their time at the Farm after Heartbreak, something along "doing things for the name of science".

We also know they aren't exactly an example of sound morals.

3.

WHAT IS IT ABOUT MORTUMS GUN, I WASN'T ABLE TO TRY IT OUT YET

4.

So, Lady Argent's nanovores tried healing her. I just know it will be a turning point in the future, and Mortum will probably make it or break it.

I'll be trying to add some stuff later, bit rn it's 1AM and I have two projects to finish and deliver before 9am, so please discuss with me 😭

[olderthannetfic]

RE enjoying HP content: Personally I don't give two shits about HP, but I'll admit, I have a hard time justifying the "Don't engage in HP fandom!" stance. Not giving the creator money and only pirating stuff from the franchise, fine, makes sense. But the argument that people shouldn't even engage in fandom feels strange, because I can't really separate it from the age-old "You shouldn't participate in X fandom because one of the people involved in it is a rapist/wifebeater/union-buster/was abusive towards their actors/[insert long list of other ways people can be shitty]". Is the singular focus on JKR due to her disproportionate impact and celebrity status? The reach of her platform? Even there, I hardly doubt that she is unique in her evil, there are doubtless many others who don't get the same publicity due to not being involved in something central to the pop culture background for so many Westerners.

I can see three arguments for not participating in fandom: One, to punish, and the other, to reduce impact. First argument has the consistency issues I highlighted above, the second one I COULD see, but at the same time, don't we as fans tend to overstate our own importance? (In censorship discussions we frequently discuss that fanfiction has very little power to normalize anything and is ultimately a drop in the bucket.) HP gave rise to a massive mount of licensed spinoff content from videogames to multiple blockbuster movies, including a new franchise that collects millions at the box office each time. In light of the overwhelming marketing and reach, it's hard to see how some people making fanart on Tumblr or whatever matters, and as much as I side-eye HP fans, I find it very hard to actually judge them for the extremely bland crime of not wanting to sacrifice a source of entertainment for some abstract moral good.

The third argument for abstaining from HP fandom is to make nonbinary people feel safer (both people in your circle and strangers coming across your content), but this feels really circumstantial. Abandoning the HP fandom to take a stand with trans people is a nice gesture, but ultimately it's just a gesture, and one that doesn't actually mean anything outside of very specific circumstances. Someone NOT being an HP fan doesn't mean they can't be a transphobe, and someone being an HP fan doesn't have to mean they're anything worse than maybe a little bit selfish/unwilling to sacrifice a source of entertainment and comfort for the sake of other people. This kind of selfishness may be something to judge, but it's also extremely mundane and common, and hardly more offensive than, say, refusing to put content or trigger warning tags on your blog because it's your blog and you just can't be bothered.

To conclude, I personally share the distaste for HP content but I'm not convinced I'm actually being rational in it. At the same time, I'm very much a person driven by hyperfixations, and the fact that I dodged a bullet in not caring about HP is just sheer dumb luck. I do have a lot of sympathy for people obsessed with HP and drawing joy from it, because god knows I can't imagine myself simply forcing myself to stop caring about the thing that's held my imagination in a vice grip for the past few years and inspired me to create so many things. I have a lot of nb friends, so I like to think that if I were interested in HP, I'd be able to choose their sense of security over my hyperfixation. But that's a much more personal argument that can't really be generalised to fandom as a whole...

End ramble. Thanks for reading, and I'd love to hear your thoughts.

--

My argument about fandom participation is that you, the fan, have limited time and brainspace.

If you want to support some other less known creator, put your time and emotions towards that. Don't carve out 50% of your free time for HP or Supernatural or whatever canon we're mad at today.

"I'm not paying them" is a weak argument when you put that much of yourself towards having whatever thing as a lifestyle. "I read the occasional fic. You're making too much of it" is a reasonable argument in my book.

Of course, if people don't care, they don't care, but I keep seeing people who are like "I would leave [bad large fandom] if only I could find the same experience in another". But they don't go build that world they want to see, so it continues to not exist.

[dduane]

So there’s the overnight re-rendering of this image that I mentioned in that earlier post. I added some mist (not too much, so as not to completely wash out the color in the sky) so that I could add the background buildings and let them loom picturesquely behind it. This addition unfortunately loses the reflected-water effects on the steps by that gate, but I can probably cheat that by rendering the scene twice--once without the buildings, once with-- and then using masking and other jiggerypokery (maybe that should be “jiggeryShoppery”...?) to put the water effect back in. We’ll see how it looks. (As usual, something that seems sound in theory may look like crap in execution. No way to be sure except to experiment.)

...Still a couple of additional touches necessary before I can slot this into a spot in the Middle Kingdoms Instagram* posting schedule. The street needs at least a little garbage, as previously mentioned. (This of course leads to necessary consideration of what kind of garbage you get in a major city of a country with a culture caught more or less between the late Middle Ages and the early Renaissance.) ...Also, something’s going on with the positioning of Freelorn’s left leg: it still doesn’t look right. I could have sworn I fixed that yesterday. :/  (eyeroll) Back to work...

*NB that there’s not a lot in there at the moment, as it’s currently being restructured to feature scenes from the books in order, and right now it’s only at ch. 4 of The Door Into Fire. The next image is going to be complex to assemble, and I haven’t had time to get to grips with it yet. (sigh) Any minute now...

[sitp-recs]

Hidden Gems by @cavendishbutterfly

Happy Wednesday with A+ comfort food! Cav has been an amazing addition to the fandom, and sometimes it even feels like they have been around for ages! I still remember the exciting joy of finding Bridges, which became an instant fave - I fell in love with its gorgeous Budapest aesthetics, the wistful atmosphere, the perfect and organic slow burn, the beautiful romance. My obsession was so immediate I started the rec before even finishing the fic! Since then I’ve been following Cav’s blog closely and checking every new work knowing it will be a special treat.

Putting this reclist together was lovely because I got to revisit all these fics again, and they’re the best snack-size romantic reads for those who love shorts like me! Cav has this unique way of making short fics feel both light and intimate, with just the right amount of delicate, chill and depth, and so very soft. They prove that shorts can be just as emotionally satisfying and completed stories as long ones, perfect to indulge when you just need a nice and easy get together. Enjoy!

In The Wings (2021, T, 1.6k) - such a soft and heartwarming established relationship, I couldn’t stop smiling! Ballet dancer Draco is the concept I didn’t know I needed, comforting and very aesthetique 😌

Ballet has been a path to healing for Draco after the war. Now, it's his final performance in the starring role, and his boyfriend is in the audience for the first time.

Just A Phone Call Away (2021, M, 4k) - pining!Harry + friends to lovers, sign me up! This is light and sweet and the intimacy of that hair washing scene is stuck in my head. Unspeakable Drarry and cooking lessons as a treat!

Today’s the day: Harry’s getting over his ridiculous crush on Draco Malfoy. Even if Draco’s just invited himself over to wash Harry’s hair. In a very platonic way, obviously. Not intimate at all.

Glowing (2022, T, 9.7k) - one of my favorite Fangfest fics this year, a lovely cottagecore h/c with trans man Veela! Draco and ace Vampire!Harry living together and falling in love. It’s about loneliness and understanding, and it’s soft, quiet and bittersweet in a very gentle way.

Harry's lived alone and vampiric in his cottage for ages, until a long-lived Draco Malfoy suddenly shows up to answer an advertisement Harry had practically forgotten he'd put in the Prophet. Cue soft blood drinking, quiet nights of reading and crocheting, and Harry thinking that maybe--just maybe--he might not be so alone anymore. Read my rec here.

Bridges (2021, E, 16k) - get ready to fall in love with both Drarry and Budapest in this immersive and quietly introspective co-workers to lovers that celebrates hope and grief in a beautiful, touching way. Perfect slow burn and get together. Cw: brief Harry/OC, mention of Holocaust, use of alcohol and weed

Harry and Draco are on a trip to Budapest to help with Kingsley's re-election, but that's the boring bit. More interesting: Harry Potter is changing his Tinder preferences to include men. Read my rec here.

The Ever-Changing Room (2022, E, 33k) - cool and intriguing case fic where Draco & Mione form a dream team to track Harry down. I love their camaraderie and the supporting cast is amazing too! NB fashionista Draco, safe houses, Euro trip, and a really interesting take on the Deathly Hallows plot point, so creative and engaging!

Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter have been married for five years, and everything's grand—until Harry disappears one day without warning. He's left behind three letters and the whole of the Wixen World demanding to know where he's got to, including Draco. Unfortunately, Draco's not a very good detective. Hermione is, though. Or: Draco travels Europe looking for their ever-elusive husband.