#need be i'll talk to HR to see what can be done but i have no medical limitations on file bc if i did i wouldn't be allowed in this dpt

[lesenbyan]

The great news for me is all the ableists that have been in charge of my department are No Longer and the one I thought was returning went to a different department.

Unfortunately, there is still every chance I'll be shoved back on freight only in a few weeks when another coworker returns from a leave for surgery

[cicerfics]

Q's 10 Favorite Jumpers, Rated and Reviewed By 007

With Rebuttals (and Revised Rebuttals) from the Quartermaster Himself

Gifted to @foxsoulcourt over on Station Pacific, just for being awesome!

Fits Q like a glove and the shade sets off Q's lovely winter complexion. 9/10.

Didn't this ridiculous business of seasonal color analysis go out when I was still in primary school? You're dating yourself, 007.

Well, somebody has to, since you wouldn't let me take you out for a drink last night.

...

Color less garish than usual, but fuzzy texture makes Q look like he's growing mold. Off-putting. At least, as off-putting as is possible for a man of Q's caliber. 6/10.

It's mohair, you heathen, not mold!

And stop talking about my 'caliber' if you

...

The color washes out your complexion. You ought to stick to darker shades, dear. Still, this one fits you snugly and the knit is thin enough that I can see your nipples when it's chilly in the server room. 8/10, it'd look even better on my bedroom floor.

You are no longer allowed in the server room when I'm in there, effective immediately, lest I file a complaint with Human Resources. Stop looking at my nipples. (And there's a phrase I never thought I'd have to use when addressing a colleague at Her Majesty's Secret Service.)

I live to defy expectations.

Color does marvelous things for Q's eyes but the squiggles give me vertigo. 5/10.

Get your eyes checked, old man, and stop blaming my jumpers for your vision difficulties!

Ranking has dropped to 4/10 due to Q's insolence. Be nicer to me, or I'll be the one to file a complaint with HR. Age discrimination is against regulations, my dear.

Stop calling me that

I don't really think you're that old

You do need reading glasses though

I never thought I'd see the day 007 cites regulations to me.

Why are there so many bars and blocks? Why isn't the jumper one harmonious shade of gray? Atrocious. 3/10.

It's comfortable

It reminds me of that time you

Don't lie, I've caught you looking at me when I was wearing th

It's considered artistic, 007, but of course you wouldn't know anything about that.

Grand old warship, Q. Nothing more.

Don't be ridiculous, of course you're more than

...

Reminds me of my grandfather. Deeply disturbing that I still want to shag Q even when he dresses like my grandfather. 2/10, will be reporting the quartermaster to Dr. Wilson for damaging my psyche.

You will do no such thing. That poor woman has enough to bear as it is. Overseeing your routine psych screenings is enough to warrant hazard pay.

I've caught you looking at me in this one too

You don't own this one, but you should. Let me buy it for you, darling. 10/10, would tug you into a broom cupboard during your lunch hour and undo the buttons with my teeth.

What is your obsession with Tom Ford

I don't see why

You say things like this but then you never follow throu

Why did you cancel our dinner the other nigh

I am not the sort of gentleman who permits himself to be despoiled in broom cupboards, thank you very much.

Puts me in mind of those odd little sailor suits posh people used to make their children wear. I think someone put me in one, once, ages ago. 1/10, you already look young enough to make me feel like a filthy old man, no need to make it worse.

I wouldn't mind if you were a bit 'filthier', actua

Well, if the shoe fits.

And you scold me about wasting money with damaged equipment and bloodied suits. Look at the price tag on this. Outrageous. 10/10, worth every penny, you're delectable in this one.

I only bought it to treat myself after

It was my birthday and i

You said you were taking me out for dinner for the occasion but then you

…Thank you.

I'd ask what I've done to deserve this torture, but I suppose I already know the answer to that. 0/10, I will have burned this one by the time you've read this list, and I apologize for nothing.

You know exactly what you've done, yes.

Three million pounds of my department funding for heaven's sake

Not to mention the fact that you canceled our dinner after I

And I hardly bought this to torture you. I don't buy my clothes with you in mind, 007. Don't be so arrogant.

And if that isn't an empty threat and you've actually broken into my flat and destroyed my personal property, I'll have your head.

My. How forward of you, Q. Well, I'll have to insist you take me out to dinner first. Then you can have whatever bits of me you like.

Don't be vulgar, you menace.

Not unless you're going to follow through on

You're the one who backed out of the dinn

Did you really burn it?

It was a threat to national security. Could sear a man's eyes right out of his skull. It had to go.

The cats agreed with me. They didn't put up any protest when I pilfered from your wardrobe.

For heaven's sake.

Then they're getting their least favorite flavor of tinned food for supper. And you're not getting dinner from me at all.

Now, I hope I'm not being punished for cancelling on you last week.

Of course I'm not

I don't see why you

You

...

You're being punished for wasting your day reviewing my jumpers rather than completing your overdue AARs. Please allow me to direct your attention to the rather large pile of paperwork with your name on it.

Sod the paperwork.

Q. I'm sorry I cancelled. You have no idea how sorry. But something came up.

I'm sure it did.

Something to do with the job.

...

Some internal business. Something had to be taken care of.

Somebody had to be taken care of.

...

Mallory told me not to discuss it with any of the department heads just yet. I handled it, but the job won't be declassified until tomorrow. Expect Tanner to call you and the others in for a meeting in the morning.

...Oh.

Well.

You should've told me sooner.

Q, I'm shocked! You're saying I should've gone against Mallory's direct orders and disclosed classified material to you against his will?

Of course that what I'm saying, you filthy hypocrite. You could've told me. I would've been discreet.

I know you would've been. That's not the point.

...

...Bond?

I'm trying to keep you out of trouble these days.

Trying not to be the man who ruins your career.

You've never

If that's how you feel then why

Even if you did, I'd

Rather unflattering that you assume I can't take care of myself.

I can, I'll have you know. And I never asked you to protect me. I can protect myself...and I can protect you in the bargain, thank you very much. I'm rather good at it, in fact.

Well, I can't argue with you there.

...

...?

Suppose we don't wait for tomorrow's meeting.

Suppose I take you out to dinner and tell you all about the whole sordid business tonight.

...You're planning on disclosing confidential intel in the middle of an Italian restaurant?!

Suppose we skip the restaurant.

Suppose I bring a couple of curries round to your flat and we talk about it there.

The flat you recently burglarized.

Let's not dwell on the past, dear.

Besides, I think the cats are warming up to me.

And I've got an overdue birthday present for you.

...Dare I ask what it is?

A replacement for the jumper I burned. A whole new ensemble, in fact.

Something much better than anything in your wardrobe. Much worthier of you. Something to show off those good looks of yours.

Will you let me give it to you this evening?

...Ah.

Well, I was going to ask what I should wear when you come over, since you have such strong opinions on the matter.

But if you're bringing a new outfit along, perhaps I shouldn't bother to put anything on at all?

Darling, I always said you were a genius.

19:00 tonight, your place. I'd say 'dress to impress', but I think your idea is best.

There's no improving on perfection, after all.

Do you really

I want you to

For God's sake, if you don't make good on your promises this time, I'll

19:00, then. I trust you know the address

Please try to be on time, 007.

For you, Q?

I'll be early.

[ikkosu]

REWIND / CHROMEDOME

(adopting gn!human reader)

a/n : been wanting a cute fluffy request I hope I wrote them uh satisfactorily 😭😭 I actually enjoyed writing about baby and cdrw maybe I’ll write more scenarios with this little family ughhh so cute

"Alright folks, we're leaving in thirty minutes!" Rodimus's voice echoed through the speaker.

"It's either you get on or get off the ship forever— Er, ah...oh what's that? We're not allowed to leave when— Damn it. Apologies, there's been a restatement by Ultra Magnus declaring it's illegal, you guessed it, for whatever reasons I'm not bothered enough to care. Blah, blah blah. Oh, shut it drift. Anyways, latecomers are welcomed in the brig. Buckle up in thirty! Rodimus out."

Rewind swivelled his gaze from the rock nestled on the grass, then to the ship, hovering not too far from where he's crouching. "Huh, guess I'm taking a detour." Then, his camera skims over the verdant fields of rolling hills. Red lights, blinking. "Won't hurt, would it?"

The LL had a short break stopping on Earth, mostly for refuelling, fresh air, stretching limbs,,,totally not because Brainstorm blew up the left wing again and The Science Team had to patch things up discreetly

Seriously, where is HR when you need it?

And, obviously, the Archivist is not missing the opportunity to explore, of course. It's earth! Home to,,,well,,,,the most complex (derogatory) kinds in the cosmos. And, this rock he's been examining? It's an extraterrestrial mineral. Figments of rocks from asteroids, comets, and the like originating outside of the Earth. Crazy, huh.

Better keep that for safekeeping.

Aside from, ah, well wandering where he's able to film stuff, occasionally animals and cows of the like, it's more like a need, at the moment, for a bit of (lets put this gently) space away from his conjunx — since, he's been acting like an ass of late.

Ahem, going behind his, ahem back to doing ahem Mnemosurgery....again.

It's not even an 'again' anymore, it's just borderline often

Why does he even bother to listen? You can't break old habits, as Ratchet would say. They'd break themselves before they could ever stop.

"So that's it? You're just going to ignore me like that?" Footsteps pattered behind him

Rewind huffs, walking faster. "Took you long enough to figure it out, genius."

He groans. "Oh for— Primus sake, Rewind, come on. Don't do this. We can talk."

"Oh sure, sure! Talk." He threw his hands up, whirling around to face his conjux. "That's what you always say, promising me like you're going to get your eyes gorged out if you didn't. What else, tell Red Alert to stop being paranoid and Whirl, a psychopathic ass?"

Chromedome palms his face. Primus, this apology isn't going well as he expected it to. "Look, I messed up. I breached a trust you had in me. I shouldn't have done it. That was very... inconsiderate....of me..."

"What is this, eight grade? Spelling bee on who's responsible?"

"That's not the point! You can't just—"

And, so it begins. The bickering. The blaming. Hand pointing. Arguments ablaze, never listening. Voice raising — just the tip of the iceberg, not even close to it's full potential.

"I bet my words doesn't mean anything to you now, does it?"

"It's does, Rewind. It does!"

"Hey! Stay there! Don't even come any closer or I swear to Primus I'll—"

A cry gurgled out amidst the bushes.

The Mnemosurgeon stiffens. He looking around for the source of the cry when he notices conjux was staring at him. "What?"

"Wow. Wow. Low blow, Chrome dome." Rewind puffs and presses his fists on his hips. " Low blow. I didn't think you'd do this. You're gonna resort to mocking me, now?"

He sputters. " You think that was me?"

"Yeah, blame it on the cows. Blame it on 'em like you do when avoid all responsibility."

"What's even a cow? Oh, for—" Then suddenly he lets out a surprised sound, dropping to crouch next to a bush. Rewind doesn't bother to look. Why would he? He's busy sulking and he wants that Mnemo-no-to-the-o to see it. Though, his audials tuned into a rustle of leaves when—

"There! Primus, Rewind look at this."

Said Archivist was still sulking, arms crossed, looking away. "Nuh, uh."

"Don't you nuh uh me." CD chuffs and figured actions were bigger than words so he scooped up the bundle of blankets and shoved it up his face. "Well? Still got film for this?"

Rewind takes a moment to register the visage.It was, if he knew his terms correctly, a human child. No, wait. A baby. It's the size of a sparkling but....smaller. And, significantly softer.

Most of all, it's crying. Coolant— er, tears streaming down the side of it's cheek. Gently, his servos curled around the scoop, nestling it softly against his chassis. He felt a kind of pull in is spark. Something fond pulsing. Chromedome loosened, looking away. What's the point? The mask already hid his smile.

"Seems pretty far from it's residential zone." Chromedome peers across the horizon searching for even the most recognizable specks of rooftops.

Nope, nothing.

Just rolls and rolls of green foliage.

"Hey there little fella." The Archivist coos, digit caressing the cheek to soothe it. The baby sniffled then blink, lifting up it's tiny fingers to bap his index. "What's a baby doing here of all places?Aren't human, uh, carrier, sires are very protective of their offsprings?"

Chromedome doesn't know what to say, he's not Ratchet or Percy, but he's sure as hell relieved their argument took a turn into park. "Misplacement, maybe."

"...How do you misplace a baby in a bush?"

"Things like that can happen, you know."

"If anything, it seemed like it's deliberately thrown in there. Look! It's even wrapped in a blanket."

He held it up for the Mnemosurgeon to see who, in turn, simply shrugged.

"Yeah. To keep it warm."

"Until someone finds them."

Chromedome narrows his optics. He's got a bad feeling about this. "Rewind. What are you trying to say?"

"What I'm trying to say is that this child is deliberately left here to be found. We can't just leave it out here—"

"Are you saying we should steal it?''

"I'm not saying we should- ugh yes! I'm saying we should steal it—"

"You're kidnapping children now?"

Ratchet cuts through both of their comms, immediately barraging them, "Are you two idiots done squabbling with whatever stupid problem you have or are we gonna have to wait another fraggin' hour until you both make up and kiss?"

They had to take the baby, much to CD's dismay.

Ultra Magnus was losing his mind. What do you mean you found a baby in a ditch, in a bush, in a field of all places?! Even worse, literally miles and miles away from the nearest habitual region!

Purely, coincidental. He'll have to look in his files for crimes like this lest another is let loose for havoc. The young are the future for society! Something Cybertron is severely lacking in

Unacceptable. Simply unacceptable. Oh, and by the way, you're both going in the brig. You're late.

"Chromedome stalled me."

"Here, we go again."

Everyone is busy cooing and taking turns prodding the bab, and can someone please keep whirl away from the child he's armed, (with the exception of Megatron, the medics and UM) who didn't, mostly for the fear of passing diseases to it, mostly stood far with unimpressed looks on their faces.

First Aid, though, eventually took matters into his own hand,,, by taking it into his own hands and putting it in a glass box (shut up Brainstorm we're not using your stupid Polyhex Quadrilateral Box or whatever) to scan it's vitals and conditions

Everyone was outside, peering through the glass, prodding, helms jut at odd angles to see through the crowd — while the medics delicately assessed its condition.

Ratchet had to explain poor Rewind that not everyone wants children and not every parents are deserving of it so. He's seen this a lot in human culture.

"So they abandon babies just for the fun of it?!"

Well, he's got a point. Most of it at least. "Rewind.... no."

When they were done ensuring the baby is in optimal condition, Ratchet comes up to the, er couple, if he had to put it that way and crossed his arms, a brow raised.

"Do you trust yourselves enough to look after the child?"

"Might as well." CD sighs. ".... I've got enough responsibility on my plate, already."

"Nobody forced you to go back and take it." Rewind mutters.

Ratchet held up a servo to cut off another argument brewing. " I'm going to put this out clear."

A digit points to them. Ratchet grits his dentas and every word that spooled out of his vocalizer, more intense.

"You both are going to have to put your differences aside. You're going to resolve that problem of yours, and resolve it clean — not in front of the child, but behind. Go hide in a broom closet for all i care. Mutilate or incapacitate each other's limbs, if it helps. Fight all you want, kill each other if you have to. But this baby? This baby? You're going to give this child the most loving, caring family it can have. You hear?"

Shenanigans ensue.

Obviously, given they're Cybertronians, human anatomy isnt a topic they're very well versed with. Rewind does know a thing or two. But consulting videos are not really the best way to go when neither of them have the tools to feed the baby

Percy and Nautica (because he doesnt trust brainstorm) are tasked with concocting the milk formula. They're seen tinkering away in the lab, barring the other scientist against a let-me-in charade. Lab doors are locked and padlocked with a specific colde — suck it BS.

All elements, minerals and resources as such are to be provided Rodimus (begrudingly), then fact-checked by the medics, very, very carefully.

They're like guts deep in space and very far from earth. A quantum jump to said planet, in case of an emergency, can affect the only organic living onboard.

Moreover, Ratchet doesn't trust CDRW to learn the stuff themselves, so he holds five hour long sessions daily on how to provide sufficient needs for the baby. You know, handling them, playing with them, learning their gestures, mannerisms,,,etc

CD loves holding baby by the armpit, and especially loves it when he does that, baby tries to bap his face, squealing and babbling, trying to reach him— he finds that his chassis always melts a little.

Rewind, on the other hands, adores cradling baby in a blanket. He likes how warm and soft it is against his arms. And how easily it his to nestle baby under his chin as he walks.

He is the most affectionate from the two. And definitely records everything. Soccer mom-esque, cheering loud whenever baby does something' monumental, for instance, blabbering dada coherently. But also the most rigid. Like, lattice structured rigid.

''Rewind you watch snuff films you hypocrite, a Sunday cartoon getting a liiiiittle violent is nothing compared to the archives you go through." Rodimus wags the CD in front of the Archivist, an upturned pleading pout, pulling his features. He looked comical hunching to regard the smaller Archivist with baby nestled under his chin.

It was an obvious ploy to fiddle with the baby. Everyone's trying to get a nab of their little squeals, these days. Why wouldn't they?

Those adorable fats for cheeks, soft and cuddly, crawling around the habsuite like a cretin, gumming on everything they could find.

Skids managed dodging through the vents after a successful glimpse of peek-a-boo (Rewind forbids physical touch. He's not risking any disease that can be transferred.)

He slinked down and baby immediately latched onto his pedes, babbling for an upsie. It took him a while, and much restraint, not to take it through the vents

Swerve almost poisoned baby with the engex again because, in his own words, what's a little harm in trying new things?

He's now locked up in the brig, banned from touching baby ever .

This entire crew is a hazard and Rewind wasn't having it.

"Is this the same captain known for illegal conduct of meteor surfing?"

"....Oh, shut it."

Chromedome's not very affectionate but is less-rigid when it comes to baby. He's the type to cave in when they want something. Sweets? Oh, you want sweets? He doesn't care if the Lost Light is miles away from the nearest planet. He's going there and he's going now.

Stop him and he'll plunge those long, needle-like nails into mecha's skull, their ancestors could see Primus's aft whole again.

Hoards like,,,,around fifty satchels of sweets. It was only until Ambulon had a private chat with the Mnemosurgeon, that, yes, the baby is going to die eating that much.

So, he offered safer alternatives if baby wanted something sweet. Boiled potatoes, ripe avocados and fruits could help. (They'll have to frequent the nearest planets)

CD is like the most cynical ass ever to exist so Rewind find himself with an existential crises, staring off into a wall, when baby would scrunch up their face, the way CD does when he's displeased.

"That mask stays on."

"But I didn't even—"

"It stays on."

But he also finds, a little begrudingly, that CD is a lot more understandable these days. Mostly always cradling baby and humoring the little cretin . Arguments are close to nill. He barely has to raise his voice

Cybertronians naturally have harsh edges, given they're metal (duh), so their rooms would be congruent in terms of features as well. Not exactly a pleasant thought when an organic is dawdling about.

So to be safe, in their habsuite, Chromedome installed padded cushions everywhere. Even the ceiling is padded, mecha's kibbles are also padded (much to Rodimus's chagrin)

And, every inch and crevice of that room is filled with scribbles. (Scribbles only Swerve can decipher, but he's busy lounging in the brig so there's that.)

Red Alert, during a habsuite check, once blacked out inside the room because he didn't recognize the new change. It was so pastel-ish, bright and soft, he justs goes away

Chromedome finds the poor mech on the ground, baby on top with their crayons, assaulting said mecha's face while squealing at the teal green against stark red paint

"A new paint job, huh."

"Chromedome, get the poor guy up for Primus's sake!"

Baby is limited to the Library and Med-bay (as per Rewind's request). Library because Megatron is there and they know for a fact he's more trustworthy with the baby than anyone. And, Med-bay because, well, medics

But obviously, baby is like, a little cretin who thinks rules are a no-go and said social construct a danger to society. And, by who's declaration? Rodimus. It's Rodimus.

Rewind is going to murder that speedster of a captain

So , it's a given mech's will see CD scampering across the halls upon spotting baby dangling off a goddamn beam. Or, hanging off someone's shoulder, (said bot doesn't know, because baby is so small, the sensors didn't pick up), then sees the mnemosurgeon slumping onto the ground in relief, passed out for a minute

What's baby doing there?!

Rip CD's spark rate.

And, since they've got to play the part of a happy family, Rewind has to sleep in the same berth as his conjux. Not that they didn't ever

After the reveal (CD going behind his back doing unethical things w/ his fingers) Rewind was obviously displeased so they sported separate berths. Now? They'll manage squeezing in the same bed.

Rewind tried to act all huffy about it, glancing to one side, as though he doesn't want to be there. He does. He's just sulking.

Chromedome silently stares at the ceiling. Baby is between them, chewing on a miniature Rung figure (that Rung gave because, somehow, it calms the little thing)

Baby notices the silence and wants attention, so they bap their hands on the surface when both mechs weren't listening. And does it again for the fifth time. CD sighs and decides to humor baby, a little.

"It's past bed-time." He says quietly, patting their head

With a squeal, baby plays with CD's servo and curls it over their head. He scoops the little bundle up into his arms and loosened up a little.

Rewind swivels to find baby nuzzling his conjux, both deeply asleep. Something soft thrums in his spark, and while he’d rather bash his conjux’s a skull with a hammer, he can’t deny the lovely visage of him cuddling their child. So, he scoots over a little, resting his helm on CD's shoulder. He doesn't flinch when a servo lands on his shoulder plate, pulling him close.

Maybe, it wasn’t so bad.

[little-drop-of-water]

Chronicle Of A Concert

Chapter 1: The Concert Anouncement

First: Käärijä anounces he'll give a concert in Spain in September.

Me, in Mexico and with no plans to go: OMG! That's so cool! People from Spain and other countries nearby can go see him. Awesome! Good for them!

Then: I find out Tarja Turunen and Marko Heitala are also gonna be there, the day right before Käärijä.

Me, still not planning to go: Oh wow! That's gonna be great! I've read reviews that say they sound like Nightwish...more than Nightwish! I bet they're gonna play The Phantom of the Opera...

After that: I find out the venue is a medieval castle.

Me, having a meltdown: Holy sh*t, is castle! It's a castle! An actual castle! OMG, imagine listening to Phantom of the Opera in a castle...OMFG! Imagine listening to Paidaton Riehuja in a castle!

And finally: I find out the events are not in a festival, but in fact are separate individual concerts, which means more time for each artists.

Me: *Flights from Cancun to Spain*

Chapter 2: Talking To Everyone

At work:

Me: Hey, so...how do vacations work here? I know they're technically not paid, but how many days can I take?

Accountant: Depends on the date. When are you planning to take them?

Me: September.

Accountant: Oh, sure! Take a month for all I care!

To my parents:

Me: What would you say if...instead of going to my cousin's wedding, and spend my birthday at my cousin's wedding...I went to Spain for a couple concerts instead?

Dad: Go.

To my boss:

Me: I'd like to take some days off in September, is that ok?

Boss: Which part of September? Because I leave on the 15th.

Me: Oh, it would be during the first half.

Boss: Sure, how many days are you taking?

Me: I was thinking 2 weeks...

Boss: Why so much? Where are you going?

Me: I wanna go to Spain.

Boss: Oh, great! Sure! Make it worth it! But, I need you to be here on the 12 tops, so why don't you leave on late August, like the 28, 29 and come back between the 10-12? And you could work part time for a week so you don't go without a pay for all that time?

Me: You know what? That's actually a great idea.

Chapter 3: Planning

So...where the hell is Fuengirola and how do I get there? Ok, it's in the south, close to Marbella...damm, it's gonna be expensive.

The closest airports are Granada and Seville. The tickets to those are expensive. I'm gonna have to fly to Madrid.

How do I get from Madrid to Fuengirola? Oh, the closest city is Málaga...and it's only like 3 hrs from Madrid by train or bus...ok ok ok ok...so it's doable...

And how do I get from Málaga to Fuengirola?...oh, public transport, I see...great!

Hey, it's not actually as expensive as I thought at first.

Hmm...the direct flights from Cancun to Madrid are 9hrs long...pfff...I've done 11.

Chapter 4: The Story So Far...

I have the plane tickets, the concert tickers and I booked a hostal in Madrid downtown. I still need to book a place in Fuengirola tho...

I’m currently learning the Madrid Subway system and planning what to do for the time I'll be there (I’m going to a couple museums, there's a park I want to visit and a flea market that is a few blocks away from where I’m staying).

I already have my outfit for the concert (just need the shoes) and I’m thinking about making bracelets to give away.

[artsekey]

I'm not super into Lackadaisy, but I am super into animation, and...

How are they planning to finance an entire season with just 1,000,000?

(Everything below assumes that they're aiming for episodes that are comparable to the pilot & that they plan on fully financing the season with solely the donations on Backerkit. It's likely they have additional financing through merchandising, the pilot, and/or Iron Circus's other projects, but since that information is not available, I'll go off of what I know. Additionally, production management and budgeting are extremely project dependent, so the "averages" listed below may be far off what the PM on Lackadaisy's got quoted.)

[EDIT: It’s been brought to my attention that the episodes are 10-12 minutes long, which means it’s MUCH more doable than I was expecting! They budgeted for a lean (but doable!!!) production. Thank you to those who clarified! I’ll leave this post as-is for those interested, but read it knowing they’re considering roughly half the time I used to calculate everything below!]

Quick preface as to why I wanted to talk about this and Why I Feel I May Have Valuable Things To Say: I'm an indie filmmaker and professor of animation, production management, and VFX. I'm not trying to call out the company or the production because-- and I cannot say this enough-- I truly do not know what's happening on the back end. Every production is wildly different. Their original goal was 125,000, with 45% going to animation-- that includes rough, cleanup, & color. That means that for a ~27 minute animated episode, they've got $56,250. If we collect all facets of production together-- story, layout, animation, compositing, and editing-- we wind up with a grand total of $82,500. Even if we estimate at the lowest average production cost of $8,000 a minute, this budget would account for ~11 minutes of animation.

An animator's average hourly rate is ~$36. With the outlined budget, the Lackadaisy production would be able to afford ~1562 hours of animator manpower. Let's assume (for the sake of this discussion) they'll split that over at least four animators, leaving us with about 10 weeks of full-time work (~390 hrs per person) for four people.

Now this may seem like a lot of time, but as far as I can tell, the pilot was largely animated frame-by-frame without the use of 2D rigging. This means every frame needs to go through roughs, then cleanup, then color, then composite. Every frame you see on-screen has been worked over at least four times-- six if you count layout and story. Ten weeks is simply not enough time to finish 27 minutes of 2D animation.

Now, I know what you might be thinking; Artsekey, they never said their production period was ten weeks! And you're right! However, that's how much production time they can afford. Whether it's split over 20 weeks or a year, they only have enough money to pay their animators for 1562 hours of labor.... if they're paying them a competitive hourly wage. To be completely clear, I am not insinuating that they're low-balling their animators; there're a dozen unknown factors that play into this, such as:

The level of animator they're hiring (an apprentice animator may make ~$17-$23 an hour whereas an experienced pro may make ~$43-$45.)

Whether they're actually hiring animators as opposed to contracting animators (I assume their model is likely relying on the latter based on the fact that I'm seeing a lot of animators that worked on 1-3 shots). They may be doing single-sum deliverable based contracts rather than hourly.

The use of tools like EBsynth (which is listed among the programs they're using) and smart frame management (which they're definitely doing!). This can, if used properly, cut down on the number of in-betweens animators need to get done.

The amount of money the studio is planning to re-invest on their end. The goal on backerkit may just account for the additional funds the studio needs to enter production, meaning their budget may be far larger than what's listed. However, if this were the case, I'd hope they'd disclose it! If I were considering backing the project, knowing that the studio was going to be buying in would increase my faith in the fundraiser.

Obviously, the team loves animation. It shows through in the pilot, and I think that it's clear in their mission statement that they stand against the exploitation of animators. But... I also know that indie production is like trying to wring water out of a log. I'd personally like a more comprehensive breakdown of their expenditures not because I think there's anything suspicious happening behind the scenes, but because as someone who teaches production management for animation and who has an interest in indie production specifically, I'm wondering what choices they're making to stretch their funds.

And what about sound?

While I'm not an expert in audio design, I do live with a professional voice actress/audio engineer, and she had a few thoughts I'd like to share.

At their original goal, roughly ~12500 was set aside for:

Sound Design

Music Composition

Voice Acting

Now, I can only refer to my own experiences as an indie filmmaker regarding price, but the rate I received-- from friends-- for sound design was roughly ~325 per minute, and this was a very, very good deal for what I personally needed. The audio engineer can be responsible for collecting and/or recording foley, or the sound effects you hear in film. This can be expensive and time consuming. They're also responsible for editing all the foley, music, and voice acting together in a way that feels seamless. If we were going off the rate I was given (which was very reasonable given the amount of work that needed to be done), ~27 minutes of full foley, complex sound design, and mixing would run about ~8,000. This number could fluctuate significantly depending on whether they need the sound designers to create the foley, get some ADR in, or just mix the audio, but let's assume that Lackadaisy has a pre-existing foley library and that the price falls in a lower range of ~5,000.

Music's a complete wild-card. In my experience, most composers charge per-minute, and most of the indie composers I've worked with were at a rate of ~$100 per minute of music. That'll land at a nice $2,700.

Now where my friend got particularly heated was the rate for the voice actors. As a voice actress herself, she was floored that the budget for voice was so low-- particularly because the project's pilot pulled industry voices like ProZD. Obviously, the price for voice can vary wildly based on how many lines an actor has, their experience as a voice actor, their personal terms, ect. The cast for the pilot included 11 credited actors. I can't assume their rates or whether they charge a fee to even get in the booth (my roomate charges $100 flat at the start of a session), but if my other estimates are in the right ballpark, their goal budget accounts for roughly ~500 per VA (and it's extremely unlikely that it's divided equally for obvious (and logical) reasons). Honestly, for a full episode of animation, that's... about average. But average in the voice-acting community doesn't necessarily mean good. Voice actors are notoriously underpaid, and-- as previously mentioned-- bigger names with more lines are going to be taking in more of that pay-pool.

And, of course, the Production Managers.

I'm not going to speak on this for too long, but the original budget held 8750 for the admin team. I assume admin includes their PMs, director, and leads (if they have enough specialization to need leads). Assuming it's just one PM and one director, they're pulling in ~4375 a person. For the duration of the project. There's no way that prepro, production, and post would take less than 8 months. Of everyone involved in a production, these roles are on-board from start to end, and it's simply not enough! PM's are absolutely critical to success!

Not to mention the editor!

In animation, the editor is the director's right-hand man, and is working to edit the storyboards, reels, scratch music, and the final cut. This role is also on the production from pre-to-post, and their original budget allows for.... $2,500. What? If I go extremely low on the hourly for the editor, you maybe get one part-time weeks' worth of work for several edits of a 27 minute episode. With most everything else I've talked about, I've mentioned there's a lot of wiggle room because of all the factors I simply don't know, but in no universe is $2,500 enough for this editing job. (Even at the current budget of 1,000,000, $4,000 an episode is super low.)

But, hey! They've got more money now!

Of course, all of these concerns go out the window when you consider that the team's already raised a whopping $953,000 (as of 7/31/23) with the fundraiser only up for five days... right?

Well... It certainly alleviates some of the strain, but their stretch goals were scope increases! This means that once they reach their 1,000,000 stretch goal, they're adding on four additional ~27 minute episodes. This increases the budget-per-episode to 200,000 (yay!), but that still leaves the project with about $7,400 to spend per-minute... which, in the world of animation, isn't much!

All in all, I think that the original goal of 125,000 -- if there was going to be minimal investment from the company-- was completely insufficient, and it would have been irresponsible to try to produce a 27 minute long pilot with that budget. At the same time, I imagine the PM/Admin team could reasonably expect a strong outpouring of support from the fans based on past success and low-balled the original goal. Now that they're near 1,000,000, I think- and hope - they'll be able to swing it.

If anyone has any insight into the production of the pilot (either because you worked on it or know someone who does), please feel free to add context to this post! Again, I am not trying to call out Iron Circus. I'm fascinated by indie production and have been following the successes and failures of crowdfunded animation since it started picking up, and while the goal for Lackadaisy raised some concerns for me up-front, I think they're making strategic choices based on hard data (that we the public are not privvy to). They've already done it once, so they should be able to do it again!

[fuck-customers]

I figured I'd talk about it anyways since I'm here, hey, it's the person who went on the big long rant with housekeeping and the supervisor drama with D and all that shit. I'm here to talk about the borderline p*do we have on staff that no one is doing jack shit about :)

so first thing, Blondie has been caught staring at people's asses all the time. again, specifically the group of housekeepers who are 18-21. I don't know Blondie's actual age, but he's like. in his 40s via his appearance. not the kind of man who should be staring at recent high school graduates. he does this to a lot of people.

(side note: we have two housekeepers with the same name, so I call one Tiny and one Weekend to keep them straight in my head) (same reason i'm calling him Blondie. also because i need some fake thing to call them here)

so Tiny T was running too. Running, i didn't get into in my other ask, is basically taking those big blue carts, and grabbing trash and linen from the hallways, and taking them where they need to go, either laundry or the dumpster outside. So Tiny T was doing a run of linen, and Blondie was like, oh i'll help, because, as i'm sure you can assume by the nickname i'm calling her, she doesn't look strong, and she really isn't. she BEGRUDGINGLY accepts, because what else are you gonna do, and two incidents come from this.

One, Tiny T heard him using voice-to-text to text someone on the phone. whatever, it happens, weird to do at work, but rolls my eyes gets over it. except, what he said, and she quoted it to me, so i'm quoting it here, was "I'm so happy we're together, but you can't tell your mom."

uhm. if you know anything about grooming, that gives you MAJOR pause, because that's some textbook shit right there. voms in my mouth. shudders. but. it's technically out of work, out of our hands, we don't even know who he was talking to, maybe it is a fully grown woman with a shitty mom, who knows, we don't, major side eye and we move on.

then, when they take the linen down and sort it into the tubs for washing, they find a used condom at the bottom of the blue cart. gross, but not uncommon in hotels. he looks at this, then looks at Tiny T (an adult women with a boyfriend, who he KNOWS) and says 'that's for men to use... did you know that? ... haven't used one in ten years...'

fucking EXCUSE ME ??? EX-FUCKING-CUSE ME ???? i'm so fucking sick thinking about it and it didn't even happen to me, it happened to my work friend, i'm SICK. but the next thing here is Worse in my opinion.

A thing about runners that is important to know is that they don't generally go into the rooms, they just grab what's in the halls. when I ran, I would pop into rooms to ask if they needed help stripping a room, but other than that, I wouldn't. they also don't take those blue carts into any room. there's no reason to, it gets in the way, and just. no.

housekeepers also need to keep their doors open, at the VERY least with the latch to the door (forgot the name, the weird thing at the top, secondary lock thing) keeping the door open.

so my coworker P is like, digging under the couch since she saw some trash under there when she hears a noise. So, she sits up to look over the counter of the kitchen to see what that noise was. And it is Blondie. In her room. with the blue cart. and the door SHUT. all the way shut.

nothing came of this, but imagine if she hadn't heard that click. if her music was any louder. it makes me fucking SICK to think about that.

so what does she do ? she goes to Manager, who is both Housekeeping Manager, and part of HR now. she should help right ??

except nothing has been done. he still works here. he still runs. he still has access to the girls. and NOTHING has been done.

i'm encouraging P to come with me to get her the HELL out of this environment, as she's really the main one who he focuses all his gross attention on, but. you can see why we feel uncomfortable with talking to this manager without J by our side, when she literally hasn't done anything to help with something this serious.

i'm so sick of this job tbh. i'm so sick of it. so glad i'm leaving relatively soon honestly :/

Posted by admin Rodney.

[cerine0357]

Can I request an Ayano comfort fic 🥹

Btw you can do whatever plot as long as it's comfort cause I'm in dire need of it rn

OC: Shimizu Family X Reader:-

. Ayano Shimizu X Reader

⋒ Summary: Ayano realized you're burnt out, what do you wanna do to feel comfort? Maybe the Shimizu family can help....

⋒ Comfort, fluff, scenario || Established relationship || warnings: annoying, wet but cute siblings...|| normal version of OC

⋒ Author's note: I tried hard in writing this, hopefully you'll like, it's bad...Kind of a Shimizu family thing...

Love and weather...

the sounds of the rain pattering quietly and the coldness of it only made Ayano shiver more as he pushed up his glasses and stirred the large pot of chai with Izumi by his side, hr light blue hair tied up as to not fall into the chai and ruin it.

"Well, I suspect you can handle, right Zumi??" Ayano asked smiling as he picked Izumi up and placed her on the counter.

"Uh..Yeah! I can do it! I'll try not to get distracted..." Izumi nodded her head and took the large spoon and stirred the tea gently "Zum, check the chai and turn the stove off when it's done, okay?"

Izumi nodded her head and waved goodbye to Ayano who left for his room immediately as he walked up the stairs and walked the halls and opened the door to his room to find you sitting on the bed which was covered with papers, notes, sheets and tests and you on the laptop with a empty screen, confused Ayano stared with you at the screen for a while before asking,

"Are you not motivated??" He asked as you groaned slamming shut you laptop and putting aside before burying your face into the mattress and screaming in it as Ayano nodded his head before getting into bed and settling into the bed with you and pulling the blanket over you two which was warm as you had been in it.

"Yeah, i got it, I know darling....Now what happened??" Ayano asked pulling you with his strength onto his lap as he covered you both with blanket.

"HOW MANY FUCKING TESTS CAN THE PERSONAL TUTOR GIVE?!" You asked annoyed and about to beat someone up, but this comment made Ayano smile a bit as he said,

"I know, but don't you need to do well in this exam?" Ayano asked smiling as you argued back "Yeah, but the only thing I'm doing these days is worrying about how I'm gonna do other things when I literally have to give a test everyday and she even punishes me and belittles me for no fucking reason when I don't do my work! Stupid bitch!" This comment made the smile on Ayano's face drop as he removed his glasses and looked at you with love filled eyes

"Oh, did she, don't worry me and dad will talk with her...If you want I can have one of my siblings tutor you? Or we can have another tutor?? Will that stop you form being a sad, cutesy mush?" He asked as he poked your cheeks and kissed you

"Yeah, that will work, but you really don't need to do that!!" You didn't want him and his busy father to get out of their schedule for some stupid thing like talking with your tutor, but Ayano insisted and in the end you agreed.

As you both cleaned up Ayano's bed of the numerous amount of sheets and tests and notes and copies, Xinya knocked on the door before peeking his head in and asking with his handsome smile, "You want Chai??" Ayano nodded his head, it was getting colder now and the rain was very heavy, so you agreed as well, it was a nice way to warm up

Xinya handed you both tea cups before leaving as Osana bursted in with Hyuna and Izumi in her lead who excitedly asked, "DO YOU BOTH WANNA PLAY IN THE RAIN!?" Not only were Izumi and Hyuna breathless but also completely wet and the water dripping from their hair and clothing made the floors wet but seeing their excited face, neither Ayano nor, Osana or Xinya or you could yell at them, though the four of you were worried at the suggestion but suddenly Azuki also came running in yelling at Izumi and Hyuna

"Oi, YOU IDIOT YOU'RE MAKING EVERYTHING WET, IF YOU WANT TO TALK MAYBE DRY OFF A BIT FIRST!!" Azuki yelled at Izumi only mocked him and teased before Hyunizo entered as well and glared at Azuki, "Stop yelling at Hyuna and Izumi..." Hyunizo's deep voice also scared everyone in the room shitless, except Xinya who had a deeper voice and didn't care for the banter between his siblings unless somebody got hurt...

All while Ayano uninterestedly put away the notes and notebooks and prints and notes in a pile on his huge bedside table, while you enjoyed the banter while sipping your Chai and just as it was finished it seemed as though Hyunizo and Azuki were about get into a fight and Dejino, Dejiyo, Il-Seong, and Yuxing were also on the sidelines with you, Izumi, Hyuna and Ayano, enjoying the drama...

'HOW DID THEY GET IN AND HOW DID I NOT NOTICE THEM....' Was your first thought as the fight was about to commence, before Xinya yelled

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!" This comment made everyone freeze up, even Ayano who stood up straight....As Hyunizo and Azuki were getting scolded, Izumi and Hyuna had somehow convinced you and Ayano to play with them in the rain.

As you four ran down to the manor's huge green grass garden, you saw Mrs. Shimizu and Mr. Shimizu, Xinyue, Liuxian, Osamu and a few of the servants in the rain as well, they were all laughing and annoying each other, you only looked at them and smiled brightly until someone pushed you into the rain, the cold water hit your head and back and it felt like cold ice bullets, you immediately ran back for cover as you shivered while Ayano only laughed at you.

You realized Ayano was the one who pushed but then a whip of dark red wrapped around Ayano's waist and tied him up before pulling him in the rain. Ayano screamed a high pitched scream as the rain pattered down on him, you looked at the person who held the whip; Izumi who was looking very proud as Miss.Kaiyo, Sir.Reo, Hyuna, Xinyue, Liuxian, Osamu and other servants laugh at this. You laughed along seeing Ayano now completely wet, chase Izumi around the garden and the two slipping not even two seconds into chasing each other before getting up and chasing again...

While you stayed under the cover as you raised your hand into the rain letting it get wet, as someone pat your shoulder you looked over to see Oshinyu, Oshinzu and Haoyu smiling and waving at you, the three were also like a tad bit too scared to get into the cold rain, but the as you took the courage to step onto the grass which had warm water on it, probably due to the hot sun and then the rain it received. You stayed in the rain for a bit before getting under the cover as Oshinyu giggled with you, Oshinyu took you hand in hers and you both ran into the rain.

You and her squealed and giggled loudly before your squealing calmed down into tiny and sweet laughter as the freezing cold rain turned into a bare-able temperature as you both calm down, laughing and smiling as the rain beat down, it was so fun!!

Soon everyone in the manor was in the rain playing around, mostly music blasting in the garden and you all vibing and having fun, Miss.Kaiyo and Mr.Reo were dancing together and so were you and Ayano!!!!

Soon it was getting dark and Miss. Kaiyo and Mr. Reo didn't want to risk anyone getting bitten by any insect which were coming out, so the servants got out, got towels, placed snacks and drinks for everyone, including the staff, while you all ate warm food, you and Ayano right beside each other, drying off your hair while on the sofa which was covered by towels as you all were still in wet clothes.

You look over at everyone; Hyuna and Hyunizo chatting and feeding each other, Ayako with Yuxing probably creating a prank, Osamu, Osana and Haoyu with Izumi on his lap, Il-Seong, Azuki, Liuxian and Oshinyu playing games on their phone together, Oshinuza letting Dejino and Dejiyo drink around 3 milliliters of his blood each (it was his turn), and Xinya chatting with Sir. Reo, Miss. Kaiyo was gossiping with the servants. Finally you got the chance to change and so you and Ayano quickly left, changed, dried your hairs and come back to the garden sofas, removing the wet towels from the garden sofas this time.

Oshinyu, Xinya, Xinyue, Osamu and Yuxing also changed were also there, a few servants their age were sitting with them and they all were eating and talking, Sir. Reo opened a barbeque and was cooking food on it, while talking with the older members of the staff, you and Ayano stayed on the sofa cuddling while you and a few of the Shimizu girls gossiped, as you ate the dinner.

You texted your parents you were staying over at their house, you beside Ayano who was talking with Xinya, Haoyu, Dejino and Hyunizo about who knows what....All you could do was smile in content, this day which started out as one of the most annoying and tiring ones ended up being such a sweet and fun one thanks to your boyfriend and his family...

They maybe the richest family to exist, rich enough to buy the whole Solar system if they wished, but they still managed to be so humble, kind and happy and together even though they are so busy with everything they, which other rich families and even regular familes can't have, you liked being a part of this family...You loved Ayano more the whole family though, don't tell Izumi and Ayako, they will get jealous that you don't love them more ;>

@dxmoness @achy-boo @juvellianovo @ramblehour @crownxie @lvmxlee @quiri1306 @honeyandbiscuitandtea-cafe @roseadleyn @hmerus + others who like it and see it!

[pencildragon11]

The controller at my company keeps misgendering me. Like. Every day. Every time. Hasn't got it right once.

Worst part is he's so confident in his wrongness that it throws other people off. Like the president of the company, my grandboss, who was the first person to nonchalantly switch pronouns for me as soon as i put "he/him/his" in my email signature.

(yes I put all three, for that extra dash of cisnormativity. pronouns in signature are very unusual in my industry, but I have a gender-neutral name and email a lot of international contacts, so it's useful in more ways than one)

The easiest thing to do would be to go to our very nice HR lady and ask her to speak to the controller. (Last year, when I told her I was gonna add my pronouns to my email and switch bathrooms, just as a heads up, she immediately put her pronouns in her signature and said "you shouldn't have to be the only one!" to this day it's just the two of us in the whole company)

But I don't think I will, not yet, much as it would be so much easier.

I don't think I'll go confront him privately either. Tried that once already, a month or two ago, to no effect.

See, the thing about human pedagogy is that we learn so much more effectively when the feedback is immediate, not delayed. If I go say something to him about it now, it'll be a totally separate event, with no subconscious link to which pronoun actually comes out of his mouth in the moment.

But also. More importantly? I've been watching and studying how cis guys interact, how they correct each other and get their points across. And it doesn't look like "hey man, can you change what you're doing, it's bothering me?" I mean, it can. It can look like that, but only at higher levels of trust and vulnerability and intimacy in the relationship.

In the context of the rest of my work relationship with the controller, that level of vulnerability and intimacy would be out of place. It would come across as weakness and, I hate to say, femininity.

It would reinforce exactly the opposite message than I'm trying to communicate

What I need to do is speak up in the moment, right when it happens. It needs to be a casual, "joking" tone, with the tone of ribbing someone for getting it wrong. Because that's how these things are done. Strong feelings and strict social rules are wrapped in layers of jokes and mild public humiliation.

Next time he's calling me "she" in front of everyone I gotta say something like, "it's 'he,' and you know it, man." if it persists after that I can escalate to "dude, we've talked about this, get it right"

the hard part is speaking up in the moment. I freeze. I've always frozen. But I've been studying the ways of cis masculinity and I want it to be a tool at my disposal, not completely out of reach.

maybe I'll ask @ragtimebanshee to roleplay with me so I can practice.

[lunaetis]

[ a bit of a work rant under the cut. ]

[ i have a bad habit of biting my nails / fingers when i'm anxious or stressed. this is something i do unconsciously most of the time. the fact that in the past week including today ( which is a monday of a new week ), i've torn my nails and skin to the point of drawing blood without even realizing it is a telltale sign of how stressed i am. like, i didn't even realize it until it was bleeding which had me like damn. you really are stockpiling that stress, huh.

i really need a new job. i did update my resume and linkedin and sent out a few applications. i'm going to do more during this week. i don't think i can take much more of this. for those who don't know, i work as marketing executive for an IT retailer. i started this week with being hounded by different managers belonging to sales department of various products bc sales aren't improving even tho the ads statistics ( things like impression, reach, engagement ) are extremely high ( when i say high i mean 500k+ impressions & 100k+ reach right here on all the ads i'm running. ) that means ppl are seeing our ads and i get engagement from them, that is my job DONE RIGHT. i'm not responsible if the SALES TEAM FUCKING SUCKS AND CANNOT PERFORM. i've done my part. i'm a marketing executive. not sales. do your own fucking job and train your sales rep and ppl bc apparently they don't know what they're doing. if you have half a million ppl at least getting a glimpse of your ads and your numbers aren't coming in ? that's sales ppl not being effective with their methods bc the last i check the promotions are good and comparable with competitors. i've done my job and research. do yours.

not to mention my teammates are quitting left and right bc this place just has bad management. i've been here for years trying to improve everything but even so there are limited things i could control. the demands are starting to get ridiculous with amount of work they put on me. i've talked to my supervisor many times, he said he's trying his hardest with HR to recruit more ppl. this morning, i simply told him he better speed it up or he can find a replacement for me as well. i really can't take much more of this.

if you make it to here, thank you and i'm sorry for that rant. i just need to get it out somewhere ;; i'll be alright i promise. i've been so stressed for the past month that i feel like i need to write it down and get it off my chest. thanks for reading, really. ]

[unrequited-words]

6/19/24

Juneteeth

What pisses me off more than fucking ANYTHING . . .

When you go on social media, and all you've ever wanted in your life is to be included. This has to deal with his stepmom. She posted pictures of going to a water park/amusement park with all of the kids/cousins. I know we can't be invited to everything and I only get so much PTO off but they never fucking ASK us.

I received an email from work stating that the time I asked off is denied so I can do one of two things. I can wake up, work 3 hours and then go and get my step kids and spend 7 hours on the fucking road and have Sunday off to recuperate.

OR

Say, FUCK IT you have to drive, pick up your kids with the child we share while I work.

I should be getting more PTO in the next 2 weeks when I get paid again to replenish the time I have now off or have them take the points I received everyday by clocking in which is 200 I'm covered either way but I'm just like

WHAT.THE.FUCK.

He's recently been gaming with his best friend while I work and it's actually starting to really and I mean really piss me off. It's hard to hear customer at full volume with headphones trying to understand their order and how I can help them while he's gaming with his buddy and talking pretty loudly etc.

I had to go on mute today to shush him to basically say shut the fuck up and the weak ass bitch that I am apologized after and said sorry when I'm the only one working and the agreement was you watch our kid while I support family of five when sometimes it's usually a family of three.

It's really difficult when my daughter is almost four likes to scream and dance and jump when if I worked in the office it would be harder if I worked IN the office... I would never see my partner or my kid because I would spend the time commuting on a damn train and somehow walking to work and losing sleep so it's better that I work from home but working from home currently sucks and I shouldn't have to babysit a grown ass man and say could you tone it down a bit... So I can you I know, idk... maybe work?

What am I doing now? I am making dinner again. I might have another beer maybe I'm tired of having terrible and I mean terrible sleep

I'm tired that everything lies on my shoulders... bills, chores, dishes and laundry ... I asked him to vacuum last night which he was glad to do and he threw out his back and I felt like garbage because I know he's healing and he hurts... He threw out his back .. but I mean isn't that kind of in the job title of stay at home dad?

Some days, feel like I have another toddler. As soon as I get on break I ask him what can I do for you? What do you need? I also also make sure my kid is taken care of I also make sure she's fed, if she needs to go potty etc

I have zero and I mean zero FUCKING mom friends.

I have no female mom friends and this feels so and I mean so

FUCKING LONELY

I make too much money for state insurance... I cannot afford to go to the marketplace to insure myself and my kid when I'm not barely making rent were in a comfortable spot because of the dividend I got from work, and taxes but I also just spent $1,000 on parts for the car and his truck

When I want something like to get my feet done or to get my eyebrows done because he drives everywhere and I don't have a license it's hard for him and inconveniences him for. Aan hr or so for me ... I look like a dude

I'll probably delete this later because I have literally no one to bitch to

FUCK I NEED A VACATION and to be included

SO.BAD.

[stormblessed95]

Hi stormy, please help!!!

I’m obsessed and I don’t know what to do. I got into bts last year and it has been amazing. But I’m scared for mental health 😭😭. I’m an adult, 26 years of age with an healthy life, relationships and a job. My bias is jimin, hobi and yoongi. But here lies the problem, I can’t function properly anymore. I have a unhealthy obsession with jimin. Not sexual at all. But I look him up obsessively. When I’m alone, my thoughts just automatically turns to him. Is he eating well? Is he okay? What is he doing? Stuffs like that. I wake up sometimes in the middle of the nights thinking about him and I would watch compilations of him till day break. I can’t do without checking up on him in a span of 30 mins. Whether on twitter, YouTube or Facebook. Just general updates on him. I thought it was a phase, you know when you meet someone new, you want to learn about them. This month makes it a year since I knew about him😭😭. How can this behavior go on for too long? My friends complain a lot because when I’m with them, I get distracted. I would rather be watching jimin’s giggle compilations. My question is that is this normal? Last week I promised myself that I was going to stay away but I didn’t last for 24 hrs. It’s frustrating sincerely because I lost a lot of my hobbies… I used to be an avid reader, movie enthusiasts, fun person to be around but now I concentrate on jimin almost every hour of the day including at work. To be candid, I’m not happy but I can’t help it. It’s nothing sexual but it is unexplainable. Do I need to see a therapist 😭😭? I’m ignoring a lot of things I should get done but I don’t know how to stay away.

I'm genuinely not really in a great place to be giving mental health advice myself. Lol BUT I will open this up to anyone who wants to chime in in the comments or a reblog. I'll also just say that's it probably important that you try to make an effort to be able to focus on other things in your life as well. It's okay and good and great to love Jimin and BTS so much. I don't think that's a bad thing. But too much of anything can start to negatively affect you. Bringing something back into your life that you also enjoyed pre-BTS could be a good way to start and spread that hyperfixation around. And as long as you get the things done that need to get done, don't neglect your personal relationships, and are taking care of yourself. Wanting to spend your free time watching BTS and cute Jimin compilations is a perfectly fine thing to do. Wanting to share your love and connect with your friends over BTS is also a perfectly fine and wonderful thing to do. Your happiness is important! Finding more things other than just Jimin to make you happy is also a good thing too and healthier in the long run. For me, my other "love" and hyperfixation is reading, and lately anime. Good luck. I'm here for you if you need someone to talk to also!

[findingmypeace]

I know I haven't written an indepth update for a while. I just wrote this in an email to my outpatient therapist and dietitian. We've exchanged emails every so often just to keep them in the loop.

I'm going to put my latest response under a cut because I feel like it's way too much of a 'debbie downer' kind of post.

As an update, things are quite bad... I've never felt so much self-hatred, and this depressed, hopeless, and alone. Insurance has approved iop through 12/31/2023 but that is to be expected because that is the last day of my coverage with (current insurance plan) and (new insurance plan). However, I'm pretty sure this will be my last week of iop because there's not much more they can do for me. I'm really, really scared of what will happen if I don't have that little bit of extra support.

I talked to my parents... My brother's wedding was Nov. 18th. I'm not quite sure where things are at. My Mom texted and then called me on Thanksgiving and we had a 2-3 minute conversation.

(RY) and I have drifted apart quite a bit. That hurts so much. I feel almost entirely alone.

Sleep was crazy for a while. First night eating. That stopped but then I started waking myself from kicking while saying how much I hate myself and to "Make it stop." It's calmed down a lot since a huge increase in my night meds and since I've gotten new bedding.

I do not at all recognize my body. I saw my weight a month ago and at that time I was (X). I can't imagine where it's at now. Every time I see my reflection anywhere, the disgust is sky high. I despise my body which in turn increases my self-hatred so much.

I love (program director at php/iop). I feel like she's the only one that will tell it to me straight and I trust her so much. Last week she met with me and we discussed that I've been in a relapse for a while. I'd have to say I agree with her...  ED behaviors are weird, in fact I'd say it's tortuous. It's a mixture of b/ping, restricting, and grazing. My meal plan has pretty much flown out the window. Of course this has only increased my self-hatred. And I'm scared. I CAN NOT stay at this weight but what will happen in full relapse? I don't know if my body can withstand that and I don't want all of this treatment for nothing.

Dissociation has been happening frequently and it's intense and scary. Essentially I'll get online, go down the rabbit hole, and then it's 6-7hrs later and I look around and realize what's happened and have to reorient myself back to existing in the real world. I tried so many things to prevent it but at this time I've kind of given up. It usually happens on the weekend when I have the day free. At this point, I think I need to not be in my apartment at all, even on my days off.

Work is great but stressful because of constant deadlines. It's kind of hard to maintain deadlines when I'm spending 5hrs/day (2 of those hrs are for commuting) dedicated to treatment. Add in the dissociation and I'm almost always getting 4-5hrs of sleep a night because I'm either staying up super late or getting up super early to get things done on time.

That said, I have gotten a lot out of treatment this time. It's all in my head. I have such a hard time putting everything I've learned into action. It's all there but the depression, hopelessness, and self-hatred are so intense that doing anything takes a HUGE amount of energy.

So not the greatest update. I'm sorry if this is super depressing or pessimistic. I'm just really not in a good place.

[fizzingwizard]

Back in the US for the first time in five years

(Wowww apparently posting on tumblr got waaaayy stupider during the time I was offline bahahahaha. took forever just to put in a cut and start a new line!)

Left home at 2:30 on Friday Japan time, got to my mom's new place around 9 pm New York time. About 22 hrs traveling in total. Not the longest and I didn't have to stop in like O'hare or any place I hate. Lots of usual flight nonsense occurred on the way, but it was overall smooth. The worst was when I got to New York and it took 30 min to get my bag because it was the very last one to be unloaded -.-; Then I was supposed to meet a driver to take me to my mom's place, but that driver got held up and sent someone else, who changed the plan, but I didn't know till I got out of baggage claim. And the driver couldn't get inside because it was so busy, so I had to just wait outside looking for his license plate amid all the many, many cars in the night. He did find me and then lectured me because I didn't have a good method of communication. I was going to rely on wifi because I couldn't find a US sim card for my old phone, a plan which would have been fine had the driver come into the airport like was the original plan. Because he was outside I couldn't access wifi. So. Anyway I tipped him with an apology... I do know better ways to have a phone when you travel internationally, but the problem is my current phone is just too old. It works just fine in Japan but can't do apps and no one makes anything for it. So I need a new one, but I just didn't want to pay through the nose for it so I didn't rush it...

Whatever. I got to the house in the end.

My mom's condo with her partner is small but really nice. It's weird being somewhere totally new, but much less weird than I expected because they made it so comfortable.

My mom's partner is really chill and doesn't have issues talking about my dad

The town they're living in is like Star's Hollow minus all the TV show over-decorating. It's really nice. Everyone is old though x'D I've seen like two youngish people outside of store employees. I'm no great conversationalist to begin with, and talking to people 30-40 years older than me is even harder. All I can say is "I like your scarf." In a conversation about raffles that falsely claim to be associated with charities, I made what I thought was a reasonable comment comparing that with psychics who promise people they're in touch with their loved one and take their money. Of course, one lady nearby totally believes psychics are real and "has done years of research on it." I'm like ok I'm not saying psychic powers can't exist, I'm saying taking people's money while lying to them is bad... and then uhhh just moved on to complimenting her scarf.

They're nice people but it is funny, watching a large crowd of people have conversations over each other, no one really interested in what each other is saying but just happy to be talking while another person is near and talking too...? My mom wants to talk about a movie she watched, so she's talking about that, at the same time her partner is talking about the food, their friend can't hear either of them because it's so loud so she's talking about the drinks at the bar. There was really no coherence! But everyone is happy and having fun. I don't get it but I guess that's why I suck at small talk.

Also talked to my dad. He said hello and then shared all his medical updates, which apparently includes he's got some very slow-acting form of leukemia! Sooo that was a fun surprise! I got to cry on my first day back!

I am also sick. Started with a sore throat literally the day before I was supposed to leave and bit by bit got other symptoms. Fortunately it didn't fuck me up too much on the plane. Probably just a cold. Keep crossing my fingers I'll be over it soon.

but I'm overall happy. I will feel better when I'm no longer sick and jetlagged, but it's nice to see my mom. I don't like all these crowds, but I like the area and I think during the week I won't be getting shuffled all over the place so much. it's gonna go by fast so I gotta appreciate

[stardew-obsessed-ora]

👔 🎉🙄🌈🏙️ FOR ULRICH PLS <3

┊﹕⊹・YYEAHHH! MY TECHNICAL LEAD SON!!!

I've been waiting for the opportunity to talk about him more! I'll be writing some of these in a pre and post character arc sense since he tended to treat things vastly different before improving upon himself and interacting with the valley more.

(also sorry in advance, i have the tendency to ramble and this'll probably be long LOL)

🏙️ how was your farmer's life like before they moved to pelican town?

Before Ulrich moved to the valley, he lived in a rural village in Germany with his mother and sister! He was a bit of an overachiever and was always fixated on technology and how machines ran. I'd say before his father's passing his life was pretty rudimentary. In fact, he had what you could consider a fairytale-like childhood. His parents weren't perfect, but they both did the best for him.

After his dad passed, he found it difficult to cope. For years, he struggled with his mental health due to the event and found himself shutting down, away from the world in an attempt to escape from such a cruel reality.

Somewhere around his 20s he came to the conclusion that he wanted to start anew, give himself something else to focus on and change the direction of his life. He first moved to Downtown Zuzu and applied to Joja Corp for a technical position. After a few years of continued cooperation and effort on his part, he managed to receive the role of Technical Lead. He overworked and outperformed as best he could never quite learning how much he should've been taking on.

I actually imagine the initial reason for him moving to Pelican Town was due to him seeing opportunity in the area. It reminded him of his home town, and he wanted nothing more than to help them flourish. He wanted to make a name for himself, and wanted to prove efficient and competent in his field. He proposed to his HRs that he'd be able to enact a Joja Brand Tech Store within the small town, and sough to do just that.

👔 what do they think about morris?

Ulrich actually started off disliking Morris. He found him to be too absorbed in his own beliefs and too stubborn to deal with. Being a Technical Lead and all Ulrich is in charge of Technical Audits and keeping things in order in varying Joja Corporation buildings. Upon visiting and doing all the checks needed, he actually ended up having an argument with Morris over upgrades needing to be done and things needing to be fixed. They're both stubborn and unrelenting, so it goes on for ages. For what seemed like months their relationship was simple. They bicker at each other, Ulrich makes little off-handed elegant, yet teasy remarks and snide jabs, Morris retorts either with a smile or a scowl, they go on about their day.

After finding a middle ground between the both of them, Ulrich started tolerating him more. There was a part of him which held the man in the utmost regard. You could even say there was a part that was fond of him. But why? Perhaps it was that enthusiasm toward his goals which drew him in? Or maybe it was simply the passion lacing each word of his, waiting eagerly for someone to interject so that more could be added on. That toleration became admiration, and that admiration became blossoming feelings toward the man from the other department.

🎉 what is your farmer's favorite festival?

Dance of the Moonlight Jellies is by FAR his favorite festival out of all of the other festivals. Ulrich has a number of sensory issues and finds that other festivals are just too overwhelming for him to be at for long periods of time. At the Moonlight Jelly festival he finds he's able to stay for the entire duration without ending up having to make an excuse to beeline out of the situation. Plus, he has a fondness for the nature he's able to see.

🙄 do they have anyone they openly dislike? why?

Ulrich starts off as coming off as if he openly dislikes most people who interact with him. He can come off as dismissive and uncaring at first, but he generally tries to stay neutral toward the townsfolk.

With that being said, he 1000% dislikes Penny. He was fine with her initially, but after seeing how she treated George in her second heart event (or in this case, how she treated him while Ulrich happened to be walking by one day), his neutrality turned into open disdain. Especially since with a mobility aid, he's able to put himself in George's shoes. ESPECIALLY since telling her off caused a major friendship drain.

He also doesn't like Lewis in the slightest and finds him to be a pathetic excuse of a mayor.

🌈 how do they react when they find their first prismatic shard? what do they do with it?

During one of his many risky ventures into the mines, he'd unintentionally come across one after slaying a monster within the mines. Naturally, he'd react in pure astonishment, curious as to what the hell had happened. He's never been one to be considerably lucky, but would know what just happened to him was real fuckin' crazy. He'd probably keep it on display in his home, confused as to what to do with it.

His sister would be the one to tell him about some myth regarding the Galaxy Sword and he'd go to the pillars just to disprove such a ridiculous sounding thing. Imagine his shock when the sword dropped right in front of his feet.

[dausy]

Thanksgiving was nice. I had originally planned on just staying home alone because I have to drive to phoenix again here in a couple weeks and I wasn't sure I wanted to drive that much. But my in-laws insisted I shouldn't be alone.

So me and Edie packed up the car and drove up there. The drive there and back was actually pretty decent. Except on the way there, I did get startled immediately as I hit Phoenix traffic. I drove up the day before thanksgiving so obviously it was crowded. What normally would have taken me about 7.5 hrs took 10 all because of Phoenix Thanksgiving traffic. I drove really slowly behind a big truck and just let people pass me because I wasn't going to do the weaving thing. I need a better dog/seat/seatbelt something for my dog. I was so nervous. The way back though was extremely boring and I'm not complaining. I can waste time for hours just talking to myself as if I were on a ted talk.

but we had a thanksgiving meal and saw Wish. Then the next day we tried do some blackfriday shopping later in the afternoon and it was busy out but not horribly so. None of the stores were ransacked really. They just didn't have anything worth buying. I don't feel like anything was truly on sale. I can't really think of anything that I need from black friday either tbh.

I did purchase online some fleece lined tights and leggings and some new slip on tennis shoes seeing as how I cant find these things in stores. But I wouldn't say they were on sale either. I just needed/wanted them.

But I drive back in 2 weeks and I'll be in Disneyland. I'm so excited. I haven't been in almost a decade. I am not a big enough planner to have anything planned out, I think I'm just going to wing it. I would really like to on that way back to stop at the Phoenix ikea or even a Phoenix mall but I'll probably chicken out because I'm too nervous a driver.

and we will see how todays work day goes because we had a meeting with the higherups last week about our scheduling vs staffing and apparently yet again, they scheduled us with a full schedule when I'm pretty sure theres only 3 of us nurses and I don't think we can do any of the cases with that staff level. So everyday I'm wondering if I will still be employed lol.

I didn't make a youtube video this week as I havent done anything artsy other than a couple very simple and basic 2 second doodles.

[duskwoodgirl4life]

The Night Stalker

Chapter 6

Jake moved too one side letting the others come in, Hannah and Lilly fired a million questions at Jake both at the same time.

Hannah: where the hell have you been? We've been worried sick!!

Lilly: we thought you were dead!!

Dan: so hackerman is back, after all running is your thing

MC: stop it!! Stop it all of you!! We don't have time for all this you can do it later

Jake: Hannah, Lilly I will answer all the questions you have, but first MC needs us

Everyone sat down and MC told them everything that had been happening and why Alan had been sending creepy messages.

Cleo: is there anything we can do?

Dan: of course there is, I go too his house and knock him the hell out

MC: it's not as simple as that Dan

Dan: but of course it is

Hannah: Dan! MCs right afterall he is the chef of police

Lilly: what are we going too do?

Cleo: don't worry MC we will come up with something.

Hannah: Jake I'll send you a message when I get home

Just as the others left MC got another message from Alan.

Alan: it warms my heart too know you have found its me who's been sending you these beautiful gifts and photos. I want you too know that in 7 days we will finally be together. The count down begins now my love xxxxx

MC: what the hell am I supposed too do now!! He's gone completely insane

Jake: the only place he's going too be in 7 days is behind bars

Jessy: we have too come up with something and fast.

Jake: I'm going too come up with something I promise

MC: I'm done with sitting here being scared for my life with this idiot, I'm going too that house

Jake: what!! No your not, your not going anywhere near that house

Jessy: Jake's right, while I commend your attitude it's just too dangerous

MC stormed out of the room and went into the bedroom slamming the door behind her, she fell back onto the bed letting out a moan. MC sat up and Jake came into the bedroom she was so full of emotion that she grabbed Jake's hand and pulled him onto the bed. MC started kissing him all over his body running her hands all over his chest. Jake managed too pull MC off him for a second hr looked into her eyes and he could see the emotion in them.

Jake: MC please talk too me

MC: jake I don't want too talk I just want too have you, I need you I just want too feel again.

Jake: I know everything that's going on is hard

MC: I can sense a but coming

Jake: please listen too me we are going too get through this I promise

Before Jake could say anything else MC crashed her lips back on too his, they both melted into each others kisses as they fell back onto the bed.

The next morning MC woke up too an empty bed, Jake was no where too be seen MC climed out of bed and headed for the shower. After MC had finished in the shower she walked back into the bedroom her phone started too buzz.

Alan: good morning my beautiful angel I hope you slept well, only 6 more days too go and you will be mine once again. P's I hope you like my little gift I left for you this morning.

Xxxxx

MC threw her phone onto the bed and got dressed, Jessy was in the kitchen making coffee.

Jessy' morning, how are you feeling?

MC: I'm sick too my stomach I just want this too be over

Jessy: Jake as been working most of the night, I think he might have a plan oh by the way this came for you

MC: what as he sent this time

MC opened up the box and inside was a beat holding a heart, attracted too the bears paw was another card.

MC took the bear and card and shoved them both back in the box throwing it across the kitchen floor. She grabbed her cup of coffee and went too see what Jake had found.

Jake: hey, good morning

MC: hey

Jake: what's up?

MC: I got another box from Alan

Jake: what did he send this time

MC: an ugly bear and another sick love poem

Jake: I have some good news I've called in another favour owing too me and they are going too create some fake news and get Alan too come out

MC: is that even going too work? He's not going too fall for that

Jake: he will if it's you that's at the center of it

MC: what do you mean?

Jake: my friends are going too create a fake news story and post it on the internet. everyone will be able too see it Once Alan gets the bait he will leave his house too go investigate.

MC: so once he leaves his house we can sneak in look round and plant a few bugs

Jake: yes, but I'm not having you go in there it's too dangerous

MC: no way! I am not standing back on this one in coming with you

Jake: MC I'm supposed too be protecting you not putting you in danger

MC: your not putting me in danger I am the one who is choosing too do this, your not going too be able too stop me Jake I mean it

Jake: fine but you listen too my instructions and do as I say

MC: that's fine I can do that