#need her to say that to me everyday
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out of the thousands of ellie edits i’ve been consuming lately this one takes edit of the week 🫡 idk how many times i have to say I NEED HER before the universe answers my prayers
#fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck#ellie williams#HER VOICE#need her to say that to me everyday#so h word right now
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how i look vs how i wanna look lol
Picrewww <<<
#basically want to chop and dye my hair#but my mom says i will only do what i want with it when i dont live with her anymore and she wont need to look at me everyday#:D#and also adopt pets bc i cant do that right now :(#nonsims#picrew
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ok u know what maybe if the world isn't ready for sunrazer post that means that the world IS ready for Amoveous siblings post. This is Milo and Enho and theyre my DARLINGS and i love them SO MUCH. i have. SOOOOOOOO many thoughts abt them but after the previous post massacre i do not really feel like typing all of that xoxo love <3
#THESE DRAWINGS HAVE BEEN SITTING IN MY DRAFTS FOR MONTHS LOL#meart#original character#robot oc#ily enho ily milo my darlings my angels my loves my funny robot guys.#ive posted abt Andromeda on here b4 if u remember her Enho is her best friend !!!!!#Enhos a battle robot who doesnt want 2 fight people..#hes the oldest sibling and theres a lot resting on their shoulders!#shes supposed to be this big metal protector but U.U she just wants to hide in his room.. and make music for the internet..#him and andy have this whole arc abt like. autonomy and identity and junk#being as andy is a government experiment who was raised to be a superhero who. has not yet realized that she HATES being a superhero lol#Enho inspires her!#milo um. does his own thing. he was the second amoveous bot and he is lucky to have been built without the responsibility of a battle bot#which means hes a LOT weaker. doesnt have a million weapons and lasers and such like enho does. no one expects much of him. he HATES IT!!!!#he wants to be POWERFUL! he wants to HURT PEOPLE!! he wants to be USEFUL!!! hes ANGRY ALL THE TIME#its EXSAUSTING.#yk that tinkerbell thing thats like. cuz shes so small she can only feel one emotion at once. and its so big it consumes her entirely?#hes that. he lives entirely in extremes. everything is 100% for him#he jumps to conclusions so quick and so violently.. hes incredibly impulsive and it gets him into a lot of trouble.#hes also a total NERD!!! GOOB!!! says mlady unironically. likes bad computer games. wears a stupid tie everyday. cartoonishly schemes 24/7#enho for the record is also a pretty angry person. they just dont rlly express it. they dont express much of anything lol.#shes semiverbal on a talkative day. he can be REALLY REALLY PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE THO. THAT MF CAN BE SO PETTY. GOOFY ASS#but shes TERRIFIED she'll lose control of her emotions and her body and that shell hurt someone someday. absolutely terrified.#enho is as afraid of his strength as milo is of his weakness. theyre both two ends of the same extremes in a lot of ways.#polar opposites and yet exactly the same. they resent each other a lot. they need to learn to meet each other in the middle.#anyway ''i dont feel like typing all that'' and then i ramble in the tags for ten million years lol ToT I LOVE THESE GUYS#theyre my oldest ocs in this universe and i have so many thoughts if you have any questions feel free to ask me lol
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i miss going to school because i always knew everybody's business but nobody knew mine due to being a huge loser. & it ruled
#now i am still a loser ( well actually this cool bubbly normie girl likes to pull me along with her but it makes me feel bad )#( also i hate going outside & barely do now because i am having an androphobia flare RN which is to say agoraphobia like i vomit... gay AF#but anyway i also went to small private schools with declining enrollment numbers all my life Well only two one for 13 years#& then i switched to a cheaper one on my senior year. i would lurk & people would be like No worries you can say it it's only nyumie here#or they would tell me directly when nobody would want to talk to them due to drama & then leave & forget me as soon as they could#nobody would ever ask about my business it was so effingg awesome. altho there were rumors i was gay ( completely true )#the fact that both schools were small made it so that it was easier to know what was happening in most grades#but now IDK ANYTHING EVER even if i were to eavesdrop my faculty is just way too big & i barely even attend anyway +i hate that dump ETC ET#this is so detrimental to my QOL & need to Observe &Lurk my life is so EMPTY & boring i want to know somebody's petty drama#& i KNOW it happens you just have to be in a circle & attend everyday which I CBAAAA. when people pull me aside to hang out i know then#but i want NO INVOLVEMENT !!!! i just want to be in the background leave me alone i already have a girl i can relate & be loyal to#& she dropped out i never thought i actually would but here we are. i just want to acquire information from a distance on a regular basis-_#the reason why i never hated going to school despite bullying up until like my last year is because well i grew up in my original school#so i was familiar with everyone & everyday there would be something new & funny to discuss with my bestie who lives far away now -_-#i meanwe only really saw eachother at school anyway Man i wish i could GO BACK but not really vut yes but no...
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Helena: (whispering in myka's ear) You just say the word, my love.
Myka: (whispering back) Is this your idea of sweet talk?
Helena: (still whispering) I'm certainly excited about the prospect of avenging Leena's unjust murder.
Myka: (sighing) Just... play nice.
Helena: Nice was Leena's job. Abigail's taken it on just fine. Let's hope Artie doesn't murder her, too.
Myka: The Regents agreed, it wasn't him. They agreed that he wasn't himself. They've accepted that.
Helena: And I'm not a Regent. Nor are you. He wasn't himself? He wasn't anybody else either. Leena died by his hand for whatever decisions he made leading to the moment he... did what he did. How can you just..
Myka: (glaring)
Helena: (takes in a deep breath)
Myka: This is the warehouse, Helena. Artifacts do things to people. They play with your mind. We all know that risk. We all take it, every single day. It could have been any one of us. It could be. It has been.
Helena: If he had hurt you...
Myka: I know.
Helena: If he ever does.
Myka: I know.
Silence.
Myka: But I think, for now, we have reached our warehouse homicides quota. Right?
Helena: It doesn't have to be in the warehouse.
Myka: Helena.
Helena: Fine. I won't murder him.
Myka: That's all I'm asking.
Helena: For now.
Myka: I... okay, sure. I'll accept that.
#bering and wells#dickens draws#endless wonder wives#everyday i'm bwodlin'#i was spilling over my stress limit yesterday with back and forths about my car#the collision place quoted sixty seven thousand dollars for a battery replacement but when i talked to the mechanic guy he said#that is just the cost of the work - he doesn't even think it needs to be done#when i talked to the dealership the service manager claims they cannot assess the risk of damage inside of the battery#when i talk to the insurance adjuster he says the collision place said the dealership said there is no battery damage but could maybe be#if there's another big hit to the undercarriage#lolll losing my mind#anyway insurance says if i want they will just pay me for whatever i think the damage is worth he literally said give me a number#and i was like my warranty my gas it's a minimum of 5K bro#he said let me talk to my manager#giiiiiirl#talk faster because i want my car back#all that to say i gave all of my stress and anxiety to myka because i know she can handle it#and even if she can't she has helena there to kiss her mental booboos away#AND EXACT REVENGE ON ARTIE FOR KILLING LEENA#the end#after i posted this i went into photoshop and learned how to do a four image split from a singular image so basically i leveled up#woo
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talked to school bestie 2 hours on phone god im out of breath with my chest hurting but it so worth the talk
#she was so patient with me listening about bcg#like i do not talk anyone about my relationship because why would i#but i talk to her and everything related to him flows out naturally#because she's know me since i was 9 and we've gone through all these years together knowing each other's personality like no ones#and ofc i didn't start out of nowhere she really wanted to know she said this is serious for us#and i giggled because yes all the times ranting to each other about silly crushes but this is a serious thing#and i could let her know everything and she was so patient so listening towards me#so considerate so tender i almost wanted to say how i miss seeing her face everyday and talking shit until we're both panting with all the#talking#i miss her being in her life actively#god im so grateful for her#she understands me so much not to mention she knows parts of me better than me#i need to let her know next time this everything i mean i have couple of times but yk#im so full of emotions rn
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I will never ever ever EVER get over how Old Cob shows the Wizard TWO separate ways to detangle shadow magic from a being’s heart, continues to then admit outright that Morganthe was infused herself by the Magi, and then the Wizard STILL goes through with fighting her.
#ITS THE WAY that Old Cob had to physically use the shadow web/magic in order to ensure her control-#-but the wizard needed nothing more than verbal manipulation.#like ugh wowwowo. wow#like Morganthe slowly began to understand his Game and thats why he had to take more drastic measures with her cause she was like#oh buddy ive been manipulated too many times for that to work on me anymore#but the wizard was SO blinded by their revenge/need to overcome Morganthe that we never saw thru old cob's words.#i think about it EVERYDAY#oki says a thing
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Just canceled all of my future therapy appointments. Big fudgin’ bummer. Did I mention I lost my insurance? Didn’t even find out about that until the day it lapsed. Trying to find a way to fix it now, reapplying and whatnot, but ya know, it’s bureaucracy so who knows how long it’ll take. Just fingers crossed I don’t run out of meds first.
lol it’s underwater 🐠
#ugggghhhhh so sad#like genuinely I think my therapist rocks#he’s the best one I’ve ever had. nice and cool but no BS and just harsh enough to push me#I feel like such a baby for saying it but literally the number one thing I’ve wanted these last few weeks was to go to therapy#I had to skip my last appointment so I haven’t seen him in weeks#between my mom’s organ transplant and driving back and forth to see her everyday and taking care of my bros aaand super suicidal birthday#I’m just… I’m tired. I want to vent. I just want to spill my guts for an hour and maybe cry a lot#and I can’t do that with anyone else. I know that’s dumb to say#I 100% can’t complain to my family because ya know I gotta be strong and they don’t need me being a burden#and I love my mutuals but I don’t know any of you anywhere well enough to feel comfortable venting#I mean. y’all can vent to me all day. I’ll gladly listen to you talk about yourselves. I’m here for it. I just can’t do it myself 😕#I’m so tired and anxious and I don’t want to really get into the self harm talk but I’ve had some serious self destructive thoughts lately#I don’t know what I’m going to do#I have to believe it’ll get better#because if I don’t believe that then… what’s the point?#also.. I’m really fucking lonely. just to throw that out there. if you can’t tell by my reblogs.#I am like desperately and ravenously lonely and full of longing#and you add that to everything else it’s just the sad little cherry on top…#now I want an ice cream sundae… mmmm….#I need 1000 hugs and to sit with someone and maybe get fucked up and complain and sit in silence and and and blegh#but that’s life. it’ll be… it’ll be whatever it is.#sorry. this is a bit too heavy for this time of morning#I’ve been sick. really bad vertigo and vomiting and I’m just wiped out and sad#but I love you stranger or at least I like you enough to be okay with you reading this#okay be safe#goodbye forever#text
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”you need a new job” oh 100% yes but also if i have to go job hunting again and inevitably work 5 days a week. i don’t think my suicidal impulses and tendencies can handle that like truly. it is not going to be good
#loved everyday searching and applying for jobs and just thinking man i’m so glad my family doesn’t own guns. because brother.#the urge to kms was violently strong LMAO#guns cw#sui mention#and as i say this. my coworker texts me asking if i can take one of her shifts. and what do i say. yes. because i need. money.
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MULTIMUSE QUESTIONAIRE
Tagging: @infernalight, @infernal-feminae, @heartsofhell, @questionablemuses, @because-i-simp, @frostworkxfiction, @deepspacevivarium, @hotelbitches, @voxiiferous
RULES: Answer the questions with the Muses that would best fit the answers. Bonus if you give details why. If tagged, copy and paste into a new post – DO NOT REBLOG!
1) Rank your softest Muse and your toughest Muse. (Personality-wise)
My softest muse is definitely Vick. He's a 0 on the toughness scale, he's a big teddy bear and he will choose kindness over anything else at any point.
My toughest muse is probably Barbie. Girl is tough as nails and will not be stopped if she puts her mind to something. She doesn't take pain as a reason to stop and will go harder when it hurts.
2) Which Muse would blow through $1000 quickly?
Valentino, hands down. He spends $1,000 every day easily on things he doesn't even need. He loves to buy expensive things and will do so at all hours. He especially loves spending Vox's money. $1,000 is a drop in the bucket for him and he doesn't even notice spending it.
3) Do any of them have nicknames? Is there a meaning behind them?
Quite a few of them do!
Valentino answers to Bunny from his lovers, it's a subspace trigger word for him. I assigned him Bunny because he's Cute And Horny, aka a rabbit, and a bunny sub is fairly common.
4) Are any of them up-to-speed on the latest trends? Anyone more old school?
Velvette, Vox, and Valentino are obsessed with always being on top of the next new thing.
Alastor hates new things and will fight them as much as he can.
5) Who has the best relationship with their siblings?
Valentino had a fairly good relationship with his siblings when he was alive. He had seven of them, plus three live-in cousins that were like his siblings.
6) Karaoke night! Who is likely to grab the mic first and bust out a tune?
Beelzebub, Ozzie, Valentino, and Ostello! They all love to sing and party, and they're all pretty good at it. Ostello was a pop-jazz singer when he was alive and before he died in Hell, too!
7) Who is least likely to enter a beauty pageant/model?
Gretchen. She doesn't think that she's very pretty, and would just feel embarrassed even going to watch.
Travis. He is constantly told he's very ugly, and he doesn't have a very high opinion of his looks.
8) If your Muses visited a haunted house where actors scare you, who would panic and who would be unfazed?
Chazz, Gretchen, Charlie, Anya, Magpie, Summer, Travis, and Vick would be the easiest to scare!
Valore, Dimas, Cash, Glitz, Stu, Paimon, Alastor, Darío, Niffty, and Vox would be the hardest to phase.
9) Are any of your Muses particular about taking certain modes of transportation?
Vox prefers to be driven around and doesn't like driving himself.
Valentino only likes to drive occasionally and prefers pretty sports cars when he does.
Anya and Darío are motorcycle people.
Emily enjoys bicycles!
10) Share a little-known fact about any Muse.
Adam is actually a very good father and he loves kids and babies. He is very tender with children even if he can be harder on them once they have grown into adults.
#HEADCANONS ➽➽➽#Reciting Violence Like Poetry (α∂αм)#I’ve Found A Rainbow A Rainbow Baby Trust Me I Know Life Is Scary (ємιℓу)#I’m Standing In The Face Of All That My Story Holds In Its Wake (ναℓσяє)#What We Loved Today We’ll Lose Tomorrow But I Won’t Need To Wait For My Share Of Sorrow Because I Always Kill The Things I Love (∂ιмαѕ)#Who Needs Pepsi Juice Or Sprite? If You Do You’re Weak That’s Right (вαявιє)#I’m Gonna Take Their Hearts For Ransom ‘Cause Everybody’s Always Askin’ When You Gonna Show Us Magnum? (¢нαzz)#Money Can’t Buy Happiness But It Can Rent You Paradise (gℓιтz)#We Put Her Down In A Shallow Grave She Wears A Dress Like A Body Bag Everyday (gяєт¢нєи)#Everyone’s A Winner We’re Makin’ Our Fame Bona Fide Hustler Making My Name (ѕтυ)#Try Not To Move So Fast You Know Dessert Comes Last! (вєєℓzєвυв)#You Can Fool Yourself I Promise It Will Help Every Single Day I Just Wanna Hear You Say I’m So Lucky Lucky I’m So Lovely Lovely (¢нαяℓιє)#Define Your Meaning Of War To Me It’s What We Do When We’re Bored (ραιмσи)#If You End Up On My Table Then It Serves You Right (αℓαѕтσя)#Know I’m All Bite No Bark Like To Catch You Way Off Guard (αиуα)#Take Just One Last Dare Pretend That You Don’t Care (ℓєgισи∂αяισ)#Your Magic White Rabbit Your White Room Straight Jacket (мαgριє)#He Ran Into My Knife He Ran Into My Knife Ten Times (иιfту)#I Love You Oh So Madly But I Don’t Stand A Ghost Of A Chance With You (σѕтєℓℓσ)#Come Come Kitty Kitty You’re So Silly Silly Don’t Go Kitty Kitty Play With Me (ѕυммєя)#Don’t Be Goofy Bring Some Passion To The Table (тяανιѕ)#And If You Get In My Face Then You’ll Get A Taste Even God Would Run Son (ναℓєитιиσ)#Hollywood Made A Killing Machine She’s Like A Teenage Slaughter Movie Scene A Serial Killer Celebrity (νєℓνєттє)#Red Eyes In The Digital Paradise (νι¢к)#Let’s Stop Saying “Don’t Quote Me” Because If No One Quotes You You Probably Haven’t Said A Thing Worth Saying (νσχ)
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I admit it I have a stupid long and very in depth TriSheila story in my brain. I jsut want them to be happy 🥹
#fugo.txt#arghjj#they wouldn't be very happy about each other at firsy okay. Sheila doesn't like other people and Trish is tired of this mafia shit#btw i think Trish shouldve gotten to chase everyoen with a chainsaw. what y'all made her go through... shes a better person than me#i wouldve shot someone if i was her.#anyways. like lets be real for a second they'd not like each other at first u're all lying to urselves. they'd need some time#like cats sniffing each other thru the door.#‘‘didnt u say Sheila was aro to u’’ yes. this is still true here.#no but honestly if i was Trish n i went thru All That and still had to go to school everyday id kill someone with my bare hands for real.
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Sorry for clogging all of your dashboards I've been in a good mood bc!!! I got awesome news today!
REUNITED!!!!!!
#HE'S BACK! re-ordered a yellow and completely forgot!#also uh. yesterday i talked about taking a year to myself what if i did that NOW#there are a lot of things i want to do and solve for myself#i've had no time to actually take care of myself. i've been TREATING myself but that's done nothing but make me crave more#but actually sorting my stuff out. internal external what have you. THAT has helped me a lot#college has been a bad experience overall and i put it down to me just not being ready for it. too much change in only a few months.#it made me jaded and i'd like some whimsy thank you very much. only if i try though#🎨🌻#🦆📋#🍝👄#🚦🏠#i've seen people become jaded bc of their traumas and it's saddening. and i need to learn that maybe not everyone needs fixing no matter-#my intentions and sometimes i DO go overboard and come off brash. when in reality i'd hate that to happen and only wish people the best#i learn things everyday and i'm still so young. not even 17 yet. i still have time for improvement in myself#i will ALWAYS apologise. ALWAYS extend kindness. ALWAYS admit fault bc that's just all i can do.#so anyway OUPPETS!!!!! I wanna keep them safe i'm thinking of making a box dedicated to little trinkets of Them.#i've been sheltered and Her lessons are still ingrained on me and i'm slowly [but surely!] unlearning them and not using Her as an excuse-#for laziness or my ability to talk to people and guessing everybody wishes me the worst when really they have other things on their mind.#college smollege i am not a character stuck in a narrative! i am nbot the narrative! i am me! and i say my lessons lie outside of there.
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#i hate my brain bc if i go 1 week without talking to someone i've already gone thru the 5 stages of grief#& im in the process of moving on#like im actually in morning every day i dont talk to them. i mourn whatever connection we had & im sad & miss them everyday#**mourning#fr my brain is like ok they're never gonna talk to u again!! that was the last conversation u ever had. say bye to them bc it's over forever#but if my brain goes thru the entire thing w/ interruption ie interaction from them#i will *feel* less (much less) for them. and i'll just be like oh hey a ghost from the past what's up :|#and im aware of how fkn irrational & dramatic this is like wtaf?? this is not healthy nor normal but ig that's just my brain :')#i need constant & intense & 24/7 or else my brain just shuts off. which again isnt normal#this is why im scared of moving out & not living w/ my mom. i fear i will grow detached from her just bc i dont see her everyday...#think this is part of why i isolate myself too lol#my sisters also havent talked to me in weeks and im like?? damn i actually kinda dont care abt u anymore lol
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you know it's bad when you hit the 30 tag limit
#like shut up i wasn't done#i feel so unbearably hurt and betrayed like how can i be SO. unimportant to him so less of a priority that he's literally organising his#desk instead of talking to me taking five mins to talk to an agent book a ticket in tatkal#i told him i had to be back by 20 even before coming here on like 5th#and ive been reminding hin this everyday since after diwali#still he just. doesn't care?#and im his daughter? am i his daughter? does it even mean anything?????#ive never felt more alienated from my family than today#isn't it sad i don't even expect anything from mom all she does is tries to lighten the mood by making jokes#im so sick of her even the sight of her her voice makes me want to shout at her#i don't do it ofc but still#everyone is so selfish she's so selfish too she's always complaining about how i don't love her how i don't give her a chance#but that she'll stay away from all important thinhs that actually matter to me like what's the point of having a mother then??? i have my#siblings to listen to me i have my friends you i need u to be an adult and fucking help me in real terms#nvmind that path is just hopeless#anyway in tired of my small fucking life and my same small fucking problems and my own fucking self#everything would be okay if i just studied a little bit harder#idk ive been practicing saying it out loud that i can't study more than tui and after seven times i can say it out loud now#without crying or my voice watering#so hopefully it will go well#tho in my experience i never actually get to sya the stuff i practice to say to him because he dominates the convo so early so fast im#left speechless and shocked and on the verge of tears AGAUN#it's fine im calm now#but after crying headache ugh i did not miss u at all going back to storing all breakdowns in a bottle
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OMG ANOTHER EARLY SEASONS TRUTHER thats exactly why i love them the show felt so fun and young and not old and tired
i still love seasons 4-8 but 1-3 are my favorites (i barely watch anything afterwards. late 2000s-modern south park just tends to bore me or feels depressing most of the time but there are definitely exceptions) i still watch the new stuff but i dont really rewatch it usually
i thought this season STARTED great but kinda fell off after like episode 2 (i did like the last 2 more though) the ai episode was astronomically boring to me fsr
anyway apologies for this little rant but i am just happy to finally find someone with similar thoughts as me
Never be sorry for your rants!! I love when people agree with me cuz it makes me feel like I'm right (which I am♡)
I'm such an earlier seasons type of guy. The second chef stopped having an important role in the series everything went dark. 1 to 3 is really just the golden era of SP episodes and yet so many people skip them (just like they skip rpdr season 1 to 3 even tho season 3 is the most iconic in the franchise,,,really makes you think 💔💔). The newer seasons are literally just Trey's projection diary where every character is Trey Jr. Honestly I'm guessing that's why PC doesn't get a lot of screen time anymore, cuz he's an actual good dad and partner and God forbid a male character not hate and despise his wife and kids.
I need more people to discuss SP with like in a socratic circle.
#the sucubus episode is genuinely one of my fave sp episodes ever like chefs parents and the loch ness monster thing was so funny to me#the fact that the lochness monster has been following these mfs around since chef was a toddler.....thats gold to me chief#can you tell i miss chef a lot ? i miss chef a lot.....#also garrison refusing to admit he was gay was his best era#real talk tho ive rewatched seasons 1 to 3 sm ive started unironically saying poontang idk what to do about it#Also this was the season where we got crabtree </3 i miss her everyday#Also also these were the seasons where liane was as morally bad as cartman!!!!#worst thing ab the seasons is when oppressed ppl are like actually oppression is ok cuz free speech ♡#im personally a seaspn 4 hater apart from SOME good episodes cuz i fucking despise the episodes that end in 2000 and chef goes nanners#tho helen keller the musical makes up for it like its such a rpdr episode...#rpdr season 16 needs to make a helen keller the rusical with guest star Timmy
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BARTSKULLS IN THE CLASSROOM OVEN
#I looooove my job#everyday when my one student is kind of acting TOO silly I say okay what are we working for?#and he says working the the shrinky dink 🙂#he’s made no less than 50 waluigi keychains#and also my IS cane and worked w us bc he also loves them#paid to shrink and dink#I have to sort all my beads so bad but I don’t want to#but I really need to also because everytime I go to the craft store w my mom she lets me fake sneak beads into her cart I love her#I’m going to have to literally make like 200 bracelets 😁#slaying but at what cost#also I need a better way to transport my benzie costume bc I was soo scared of my hat getting squished on the plane ride#it’s okay I have months to solve problem#my posts#we heart personal diary posting
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Game on bitches. -A