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writefinch · 3 years

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Dear Dairy, Pt.1 (cn: noncon, Mm, kidnap, emphasis on *forced* feminization, induced lactation, milking, bondage, drugging, induction of gender dysphoria in a cis guy, things of that nature)

7th July 2018

Cold day today. I dusted off my scarves for the first time this year. Not literally, they'd been vacuum sealed and packed away when the weather turned in October. I threw out the red and yellow knit scarf, something I should have done last year, as it's far too Harry Potter. I was going to pick out the UMIST scarf but that felt a touch dull for the first scarf of the year. In the end I picked out the green silk paisley, which I felt provided a contrast with the pink shirt. I wore them with the second-hand grey Armani that I've yet to have tailored; I haven't yet decided if it's worth the trouble. I'm leaning towards yes, as I received two compliments today, one from Jason's database administrator, a charming and flirtatious--to say nothing of attractive--lady from Perth. We've talked about the possibility of meeting up for drinks at some point, and I'm increasingly inclined to take her up on the offer.

Experiment C2 is adjusting to his newfound freedom since his release last week. It was sad to see him go, and I'll cherish the time we spent together, our first night especially when he violently objected to the idea of servicing me. Oh, how he kicked and fought, clawing at his neck chain, scratching me, biting, swinging wildly. He bloodied my nose rather viciously and left me in no mood for sex that night, to the extent that I almost let him go entirely.

Of course, his demeanor changed altogether after I bagged him. A clear plastic bag over his head, taped around his neck, watching him gasp and writhe for air that isn't there, screaming his silly little head off until he's sure that he's taken his final breath, then tearing a tiny hole over his nostrils. I let him suck in four generous lungfuls of air before I bagged him the second time, and I went through seven bags before allowing him a rest. After that he became such an agreeable and solicitous cocksleeve you'd have thought he was raised in a merchant marine!

Still, he was unsuitable both physiologically and psychologically for the experimental interventions, and I only have so much space in the cellar, so I had to let him go. Some of my social acquaintances are keeping a close eye on him. He's been told that running his mouth will lead to nothing but the cold grave, and I believe he's a bright enough lad to take that to heart.

I'm beginning the search for his replacement tomorrow.

20th July 2018

I've found him! I've found him I've found him, he is everything I've been looking for, he is perfect, it is as if God placed that boy on earth for no other purpose than my need for him. I can barely contain my excitement.

He is an itinerant surf bum, twenty years of age, single, underemployed, estranged from his family. He has flowing blond hair, a few wisps under his chin that can barely be called a beard, deep brown eyes, and a lithe, rangy figure that seems to be slowly growing into the top-heavy carrot-shaped build of a classic surfer. He's been living in town since May, surfing most days, doing temp jobs, lodging in the spare bedroom of a friend of mine.

What a perfect physique! His body is accustomed to being dashed over rocks and whipped by surf, what fun I will have finding and surpassing his tolerances for pain! Oh, to restrict and ration out air to a boy who has trained himself to hold his breath underwater since he was a young teenager, to see those taut muscles stretched over a rack, I cannot wait, I can't wait.

I won't speak or write his name. I now take every action with the foregone conclusion that he is mine, and that he is already Experiment C3. In my mind, he is already in my cellar.

My friend has kindly allowed him to get behind on his rent, and C3 apparently plans to move to Sydney in ten day's time, driving out across the country in his decade-old Ford Ka, surfboard strapped to the roof. When he disappears a few days before that, people will assume he left to avoid paying his rent.

They won't be wrong, in a sense. C3 won't be worrying about rent for a long, long time...

26th July, 2018

It hasn't been an easy choice, and it is in fact a decision I've been struggling with for some time now, but I've decided to let my hair go grey. I'm almost forty for heaven's sake, and I noticed my first grey a year before the financial crisis. Ever since then I've been religious in my application of dye and toner, carefully concealing each and every one of the pale little buggers that pops up, but it's gone from something I'd do after a haircut to something I'm doing twice a week. I won't rush it, I'm going to ease off the dye over the course of the next year or so, but by next July I'll be au naturelle salt and pepper.

Work remains dull but tolerable. I know I'm blessed to be able to do most of my duties from home given my hobbies, but there's a certain sense of removal from everything, as if it's not really a job at all and I'm back at university doing a coursework-intensive compulsory module. On the other hand, I do enjoy going to the office in a way that I did not when I was going there five days a week!

Experiment C3 is screaming his head off again, I think. It's very faint, and I've turned off the air conditioning in the sitting room so I can hear it coming up from below. I suppose I can't blame the boy, given the circumstances. He hasn't seen me since the drugs wore off, and he's in the same configuration I first kept C2 in: his feet are in snowboard boots and locked into clips in the floor, his neck is in a steel collar connected to an eyebolt on the floor by a one-metre chain, his wrists are cuffed and pulled up towards the ceiling by another chain, he has noise-cancelling headphones strapped over his ears blaring white noise, and he's wearing a blindfold snug enough to prevent him from even blinking underneath it.

He's been there for seven hours now, since three in the morning. He can neither stand nor sit nor lie down, he cannot turn around, he cannot see--though it is pitch black in the cellar even if he wasn't blindfolded--he cannot hear his own voice, and I very much doubt he has any idea how he got there.

As I said, I haven't been down to see him properly yet, so I'm monitoring him at a distance via CCTV and also his pulse and blood oxygen readings. I'm keeping him watered through an IV drip and I'm not at all worried about feeding him just yet, though I'm sure he'll be getting hungry given that I emptied out the contents of his guts with an enema while he was still unconscious. I want him properly good and woozy from sleep deprivation before I introduce myself, either forty-eight hours or until his vitals get a tad skiffy, whichever is shorter. By my word, I am not an impatient man!

Of course, given the close monitoring required, I'll only be getting a few more hours sleep than he will. I suspect I'm getting the better half of the deal. Ah, the poor thing just wet himself. He needn't worry, it's all going into the bucket between his feet, and it'll go to good use later.

I've calmed myself down since his capture, for practical reasons as much as anything else, but I am still abuzz with energy. I am already looking forward to writing my next entry!

28th July 2018

I introduced myself to C3 today.

He spent an impressively long time in the stress position before he was unable to push his legs and instead dangled from his wrists, almost twelve hours, at which point I let the wrist rope go slack and allowed him to collapse. To prevent him from sleeping I intermittently blasted him with high pressure cold water whenever his pulse dropped below 100, for about a further four hours until I decided he'd had enough rest and strung his wrists back up.

He lasted five hours that time, so I let his wrists down again and stood sentry with a paintball gun, giving him a good and proper three-round burst whenever he stopped whimpering. Up again, barely an hour, down again, where I pinned him to the floor with wiring from an electric fence, set to deliver low-intensity zaps across his arms and chest whenever it seemed as if sleep was a possibility. He only got a few shocks, I think the first few put him in such a state of alarm that he didn't dare relax enough to be given another.

I strung him up a few more times, sometimes combining the motivators--his quivering thighs made a delightful target for paintballs as he tried to hold them in a crouching squat--until we reached the forty-ninth hour. I then played my recorded introduction tape through his headphones. It was identical to the one I'd played for C1 and C2, which was itself similar to the one recorded for B4 through B9.

Of course, as the deaf and blindfolded boy was crouch-squatting in place hearing my voice tell him that his old life was forfeit, that he was livestock now, that he would be used as a sex slave, that disobedience would only lead to misery, and the details of the hormone treatments he would be on, I was standing in front of him, masturbating.

My timing was impeccable. Just as the last lines of the recording said "if you're wondering when you'll meet me, I'm right in front of you," I came all over his whorish face. I'm afraid I'm no Peter North, I've no more than four spurts and the first one is always rather watery, but I nailed him right between the lips with one burst and smeared the rest over his face with the tip of my cock. He froze up rather delightfully during the whole ordeal, barely flinching as I cleaned off the tip in his hair.

I took the microphone and spoke directly into his headphones. I told him he'd been in his predicament for two days so far, that he was to obey my simple instructions, and that if he did he would be allowed food and allowed to rest. I told him that I would not require him to speak at any point during these instructions, and that if he so much as whispered I'd keep him strung up without food for another two days. He nodded in agreement, which earned him a hard slap, as I'd not asked him to nod or shake his head. I told him then to nod if he understood, which he did.

I freed one of his arms at a time, telling them to keep them in place and move them only as and when I told him to move them. He obeyed--a far quicker learner than C1--and I put him into the straitjacket. I unlatched his boots one at a time, putting him in ankle cuffs with a short length of heavy chain between them. I injected him in the buttocks with his first dose of anti-androgens, a painkiller, and his hormonal cocktail, and I removed the IV from his arm.

At that point I led him to his cage, a 2x3 metre cell, 1.5 metres high. I removed his blindfold, though it did him little good as it was pitch black in the entire room--I'd switched off the lights and was working via a set of light amplification goggles--and pushed him onto the wipe-clean bedroll.

"Lie still like a good little boy until the lights turn on, and then you can help yourself to some food," I said to him. He made a sound as if to respond, then silenced himself, lying still in his bonds.

The lights were on a timer, and they came on harsh and bright when I was upstairs, watching him through the CCTV on my desktop with a fresh pot of coffee. Three of the walls of his cage were walled off with a tarp, allowing him to see about a fifth of the basement through the remaining wall. Inside his cage was his bedroll, a doggie bowl full of oatmeal and bananas, a small plastic trough filled with fresh water, and a litter tray.

I considered staying up and watching him, seeing the fear grow in his eyes, his first attempt at eating cold food without the use of his hands, the humiliation of pissing in a litter tray, but I was exhausted. As soon as I've finished writing this entry, I'm going to take a well-deserved nap.

4th October 2018

The truffle salt from Coles is a waste of time. Don't misunderstand me, it's useable, it's palatable, and it has the necessary truffle aroma. "Has" is the key word there, it's got the half-life of Fermium and after a week in the cupboard it's now just table salt with black specks in it. I think I'm going to invest in some decent truffle oil at Christmas.

C3 is coming along marvelously. The combination of injections and a high-fat, high-calorie, vitamin-rich diet have had a visible impact on his physique. His skin has softened even further from a clear and healthy surfer's complexion to almost peachlike smoothness and he now has visible jiggle on his thighs, stomach and buttocks. Most importantly, he's now the not-at-all-proud owner of a set of A-cup breasts, complete with sensitive, pebble-sized nipples.

His breasts are extremely sensitive. He's told me as much directly, but I've confirmed it through experimental means. A few light stripes under the nipples with the cane used to bring a wince to his face when he first came under my care, now it brings him to his knees, and the mere sight of the thing leads him to cry and whine rather prettily.

He did have some issues with portion control, in that he wasn’t eating the full servings of food I had prepared for him. This was unreasonable and short-sighted on his part: while plain, I have not asked him to eat anything that I wouldn't willingly eat myself, and while I am not a professional cook I am certainly a talented amateur.

The solution was a simple one: if even a smear of food remains in his dish, I do not feed him for the next two to four days. I only had to enforce this rule twice, and he's finished every meal I've put in front of him for the past two months.

He's gone without sleeping for the last forty-eight hours, he's gone without speaking for the last three weeks, and I've added a low dose of LSD to his drinking water. Tonight he should be somewhat tractable for the induction of a hypnotic state. I am not trying to control his behaviour--there's nothing I want him to do that I couldn't compel him to do through more reliable means--but for an in-depth interview. In concert with a lie detector and a regulated dose of barbiturates, I am going to make him bare his soul to me.

There are a few specifics I'm interested in, such as confirming my assessment of his sexuality and gender identity, and it never hurts to shore up my security by inquiring of any planned means of escape or rescue, but in great part I am doing this for morale effect: I want him to have no respite from me, even inside his own mind. He will learn that he has no more control of his thinking than he does of his eating, sleeping or exercising.

Speaking of which, I had to leave him in an armbinder for a few nights when he insisted on doing press-ups in his cell. The additional restraints distressed him greatly, and he's seemed afraid to even move lest I restrain him further. That was back in August, and I have since acquired an elliptical trainer which I allow him to use daily, good behaviour permitting.

I will write again tomorrow with details of tonight's interview, and I only hope it's more productive than C2's interview was.

5th October 2018

Well, that was elucidating.

I left C3 unrestrained for the interview. It was his first time free of shackles and cuffs outside of his cage since he'd arrived, as I wanted him to be relatively comfortable and I was confident that his drug cocktail would prevent any serious escape attempts.

He is not a natural hypnotic subject and I was only successful in inducing a semi-trance state. I don't think he achieved a trance, but I think he believed he was in a trance, and for my purposes that was more than sufficient. He talked for hours and provided an unabridged history of his life so far. His parents, his brothers, his schooling, his love of surfing and camping, his romantic attachments and rejections, his childhood friends and bullies, his fear of dogs, his earliest memories, his deepest shames, enough to fill a short memoir.

The interview lasted for ten hours, with breaks every two hours to allow him to pee (as I'd also allowed him to drink lime cordial from a cup while he spoke) and to adjust his dose of drugs and deepen his trance state. He cried frequently and easily. He bears a great amount of shame and guilt for someone so young and so relatively innocent--raised by Catholics, naturally--and spent half of the fifth hour in uncontrollable hysterics. I let him rest his head in my lap and stroked his hair as he cried, and he clung on to me like a man drowning. Once he ran out of tears he had a bout of cathartic laughter, and after that a calm passed over him, and he remained in a state of detached, cooperative calm until I ended the interview.

Of course, most of this was filler and background information for the parts that truly interested me: his sexuality and gender identity. Both were perfect. His sexuality is less important but still delightful. He is entirely heterosexual and repulsed by men. He still has nightmares about the one time I have molested him so far, when I coated his face with cum shortly after his chapter. You wouldn't believe how hard I got as he told me that!

He sometimes masturbates in his cage, which he tells me is mostly from boredom than any sexual desire, and he fantasizes about sex with women. He has little interest in sadomasochism, no interest whatsoever about taking a submissive role, and aside from a weak interest in pegging he is plain vanilla. He has fantasies about sex in public, fucking multiple women, being woken up by receiving oral sex, and seducing older women.

His gender identity is much the same: male, through and through. He has insecurities about being slight and physically unimposing--related to bullying in school--and about being insufficiently masculine. He takes pride in the callouses in his hands and the scars on his body from surfing, and wishes that the thin, pale stubble on his face was thicker.

It's of little surprise then that he finds the changes from the hormones to be a cruel and unwanted imposition. His breast growth makes him feel powerless and disgusted with himself, he can feel his muscles weakening, the tenderness in his breasts is terrifying and degrading, and even the topic of penile and testicular shrinkage made him choke up and sob. He says that even when I allow him to sleep, his mind feels clouded and he finds it increasingly difficult to identify the particulars of his emotional state, which swings and changes in ways he is not used to.

Again, I must reiterate how promising this is. My experiments concern the induction of sexual neuroses and physical development on non-consenting subjects. C1 was unsuitable because he--well, she, more likely--was a little too keen to embrace the role I had planned for her.

C3 is sleeping now. I haven't actually left our impromptu "therapy room" and he's drifted off with his head in my lap. He needs the rest. I have big plans for him, after all.

24th October, 2018

I took a trip to the cinema today. Specifically the single-screen cinema in the back of the adult bookshop. C2 is turning tricks for the manager. I don't think it's his first career choice but for some reason he's been unable to get a job anywhere else in town. He tried being an independent streetwalker for a while, which didn't work out well for him as he was quickly picked up by the local police and treated rather roughly. Almost as if they were keeping an eye on him!

The manager of the adult bookshop got in touch with him, I believe he was waiting for him outside the local lockup in fact, and informed him of a safe, reliable means of plying his trade. Now he sucks cock in the back room cinema along with a handful of other whores in exchange for a roof over his head and ten percent of the ticket sales.

He was apparently given a second tour of the police cells for not handing his tips over to the manager in a timely and honest manner, so his left eye was still swollen shut when I saw him today. His garb was delightful: pastel pink yoga leggings with the Adidas stripes down the sides, and a duck egg blue midriff-cut t-shirt with "BOY" on the chest, with a female gender symbol in place of the O.

I sat down next to him in the otherwise empty cinema and flashed him my ticket, which had set me back $84--worth every penny--and he flashed me a charming smile. There was no glimmer of recognition in his eyes, like all of my experiments and side projects he'd never seen me without a mask. He put his hand on my thigh and told me his name, which I've already forgotten. The feature began, a rather energetic video from the noughties with Kelly Wells, Hillary Scott and Layla Riviera, prompting C2 to get on his knees in front of me. He gagged a little when he unzipped my jeans, not because I was unwashed but because I'd applied a generous quantity of deodorant and aftershave so that he would not recognise me via scent.

I enjoyed a slow, leisurely blowjob for the next hour, where he displayed all the basic techniques I'd so painstakingly taught him as well as a few new ones he'd picked up more recently. There's something to be said about consuming porn this way, not just the oral service but also watching the film from the beginning, without skipping forward to my favorite parts or switching between videos, letting myself slowly build towards my climax at the same pace as the on-screen action. I came just before the money shot, pulling out to cum all over C2's face as Kelly Wells guzzled piss on the big screen, and let C2 lick and suck my balls until the credits rolled.

Before he or I got up, I took out $20, waved it in front of his eyes, and then used the notes to wipe cum up from his face. He flinched at the roughness, scowled, told me to cut it out, and put his hand on my leg as if to push away from me. I said three words.

"Punishment position three."

It was as if I'd reached inside him and squeezed. He let out a pitiful squeak, straightened up on his knees, pushed out his chest, put his hands behind his back, closed his eyes, opened his mouth, and let his tongue hang out. I stuffed the cum-soaked banknotes between his mouth.

"Be good, C2," I told him as I stood up. He didn't move a muscle as I walked out of the cinema, and as the door closed behind me, I heard a single muffled sob. It was an enjoyable experience and I certainly needed it after the last few days because C3 has really been a handful.

It began on the weekend when the first signs of lactation appeared. C3 has been getting increasingly upset with the changes to his body, his widening hips, his weight gain, his shrinking musculature, his shrinking genitalia, and his C-cup breasts. The breasts are especially upsetting, he complains that they ache constantly and are tender to the slightest touch. In any case, when the first droplets of milk dribbled out of his nipples something snapped.

Through tears, he told me that he refuses to eat, that he cannot live with the things I am doing to him, and that I should either let him go or kill him. Obviously this is unacceptable. I told him I was not treating his request with any seriousness, and that if he did not eat his meal, he would go without for the next several days. He nodded forlornly, but still refused the food.

I strapped his hands into leather mitts to prevent him from improvising methods of self-harm, and continued as normal. For the next three days, he refused to respond to commands or obey orders, remaining silent and going limp. He wailed in pain when I caned his soles and slapped his tits, but he continued to wallow in self-pity.

He was ravenously hungry by Wednesday, but when I gave him the opportunity to eat, he would not. I left the bowl of food in his cage overnight, and in the morning it remained untouched. He had not thrown it out or despoiled it, he had simply ignored it in an admirable, if misplaced, display of willpower. I gave him one final warning that there would be serious consequences if he did not eat now. He refused, so I applied the consequences.

I fitted him into a padded restraining board, on his back, his arms, legs, chest, stomach, forehead, chin, wrists and ankles held in place by canvas straps. He could not move an inch, not that he was trying particularly hard. A hollow dildo gag with a breathing hole went into his mouth, principally to prevent him from trying to bite off his own tongue. I catheterized him and inserted a hollow plug into his backside, not overly gently in either case, much to his consternation.

Then, intubation. I fed a heavily-lubricated silicone hose into his left nostril. He thrashed and twitched, as is expected when such a procedure is performed without the aid of benzodiazepines. Undeterred, I asked him to start swallowing, lest the tube end up in his lungs. He did as much gagging as swallowing, but after a few eventful minutes I felt the tell-tale glide of it being pulled down his esophagus and into his stomach.

Once the tube was taped in place under his nose, I attached the free end to a pump until it drew fluid out from within him. A few drops of this fluid onto pH paper revealed it to be stomach acid, which hopefully meant that the hose was not in his lungs. I then attached the hose to the feeding machine, and explained to C3 exactly how it would work.

He would have his meals and water combined into a slurry, kept at a cool four degrees celsius, and injected into his feeding tube. The pressure inside the hose would make breathing difficult or impossible while the food was being pumped, and the volume of his meals--around a litre and a half of slurry--meant that each feeding would be spread out in thirty second bursts, delivered semi-randomly over the course of an hour.

As I told him this, I undid my belt and began to masturbate. Despite the obvious temptations, I had not molested C3 in an overtly sexual manner since that first facial at the beginning of his captivity. By combining molestation with removal of autonomy, I wished to impress upon him the importance of obeying me with whatever autonomy I allow him to have.

I pressed the button on the feeding machine as I approached my climax. C3 squealed and gurgled like a drowning cat from the sensation of ice-cold sludge pumping through a tube in his sinuses and down into his throat, choking as the diameter of the tube expanded enough to cut off his breathing. He thrashed in his restraints with such force that he almost moved the gurney beneath him!

Seeing tears stream from his eyes was too much, and his eyes were precisely where I aimed. I landed a good few ropes on each eye, which he scrunched shut in disgust. When the tube stopped pumping I pried open his eyelids with my fingers and made sure a good quantity of my burning, stinging cum got in each eye, then smeared the rest across his face. He tried to blink it out, with little success, and before he could do much else I applied the padded blindfold. He hates and fears the eye-shutting pressure from the neoprene padding at the best of times, and wasn't overjoyed to wear it with his eyes gunked up with sperm.

He's been like that for the last three days, unable to move, speak or see, fed three meals a day through his nose. The only interaction he's had is when I've unrestrained his individual limbs and allowed them some movement, one at a time, to prevent bedsores and deep vein thrombosis, and when I come down to grope his sensitive tits. He is only able to relieve himself through the catheter and through enemas.

After a few days of stick, he's almost ready for the carrot. Tonight I am making pork carnitas with soft tacos, which he has told me is his favourite meal. I have also purchased one of the Harry Dresden books, which he told me he is an avid reader of. When dinner is ready, I will make him an offer: he will ask me for normal food and apologize for forcing me to use the feeding tube. In return he will be allowed out of his restraints and returned to his comfortable cage, along with his favourite meal and a good book, which he will be allowed to read during his spare time as long as he behaves himself.

I hope he accepts, for his sake and mine.

16 November 2018

C3 had his first true milking today! I've been teasing dribbles of milk from his nipples with my fingers for weeks, but today the volume was so high that I had to deploy a handheld breast pump. He whimpered for the duration but was obviously relieved by the reduction in pressure. It was as if he found the whole ordeal rather humiliating.

The milk is rich, a touch gamey, and less sweet than expected. I don't think the taste will be anything to write home about while his stress levels are so high, and I think that will be the case for some time. I've taken half for myself, and I'm mixing the other half into his food.

He's been docile since the force feeding. The intensity and inevitability of the punishment is part of it, but the rewards are equally important. My deal is that he can ask for anything once. Obviously I laugh at certain requests--he's not getting a phone or a two-way radio--and some things require compromise, but otherwise I have been accommodating. His cell now contains a lamp he can turn on or off, two dozen books and graphic novels, an old mp3 player, and a box of wet wipes. His relief from the constant boredom of being confined in a cage for twenty hours a day is palpable, and he has chosen the comfort that obedience brings over the misery that stems from disobedience.

He has asked if he'll ever be free from this basement and I truthfully said yes. One day he'll be walking around outside free of physical restraints and he will sleep at night in a bed he can truly call his own, though I'm unsure if he'll ever truly be free of me. He takes comfort in the fact that he has not yet seen my face or anything that might identify me, as he reasons that I am therefore not incentivized to bury him in a shallow grave to protect myself. His conclusion is correct but his premise is wrong; he'll know who I am eventually and I still won't fear him.

I'm currently milking him once per day regardless of his feelings on the matter, and I think this has hidden from him the fact that he now needs to be milked. Without his daily milkings the pain in his breasts would become unbearable, and soon he will develop mastitis if he's not milked. This will form another important part of his development: begging for things that are distasteful but necessary. With the exception of the wet wipes, there is nothing inherently humiliating in the things he's asking for. I believe he'll find begging to be milked intensely humiliating, and more humiliating still because of the tolls I'll extract from him when he goes down that road.

A brief note on his physical changes: his breasts are bigger but they remain C-cups for the time being. There are now a striking set of stretch marks on the sides and undersides of his breasts, along with some smaller, subtler ones on his thighs and buttocks which have also thickened up nicely. At some point I'm going to give him a regular schedule of retention enemas until he gets stretch marks on his belly befitting a pregnant little broodslut. His skin is delightfully soft and I'm shaving his face daily until the home electrolysis kit arrives. The combination of hormones, daily exercise bike sessions, and a lack of any upper body resistance training has changed his physique from a surfer's build to a more bottom heavy one.

As soon as I have finished writing this entry I am going to give him two gifts. The first gift is an ear piercing. It will be home to a yellow plastic tag, a miniature version of a cattle tag. The second gift is his name. He's not C3 anymore, and he's certainly not whatever stupid name he called himself before I acquired him. He has lovely tits and he's a milk cow, so his name will be Cowtits.

Cowtits. I think it suits him.

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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Christopher Eccleston on Why Doctor Who Canon Needs Exploding

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Without the acerbic wit of the Ninth Doctor in 2005, the 21st-century geek landscape would look a whole lot different. If we were to borrow the TARDIS from Doctor Who, and pop back to the debut of “Rose” on March 26, 2005, we’d know we were standing on the edge of a moment when everything changed. Before Doctor Who, Christopher Eccleston had been known for hard-edged, gritty roles like the game-changing horror flick 28 Days Later or Danny Boyle’s Shallow Grave. After Doctor Who, Eccleston was known for…well…even more hard-edged roles; from the baddie Malekith in Thor: The Dark World or priest Matt Jamison in The Leftovers.

But, for Doctor Who fans, he’ll always be the edgy Ninth Doctor: impatient, dismissive, but ultimately heroic. Without Eccleston, it’s difficult to imagine the Who renaissance. There’s no Tennant and Smith without him, to say nothing of Capaldi and Whittaker. After regenerating abruptly after just one season, fans have been desperate for the return of the Ninth Doctor to the Who canon. Which, now, exactly 16 years after the debut of “Rose,” is happening. The Ninth Doctor, as played by Christopher Eccleston, is back in a series of audio adventures for Big Finish. Last month, Den of Geek was lucky enough to sit in on a top-secret roundtable interview with Eccleston, as he told a select group of entertainment journalists just why he’s returned to a part he’s so famously been dodging for a decade and a half.

“It was paid work,” Eccleston said, and noted that he didn’t find it all that difficult to find the voice of the Doctor again, mostly because “the writing was very good.” But where in the vastly complicated canon do these new audio adventures with the Ninth Doctor take place? We know this has to be prior to him meeting Rose — or does it? One tip, don’t ask Eccleston, and certainly don’t ask the Ninth Doctor.

“I just ignore it,” Ecceslton said of the Doctor’s confusing timeline. “And he does. We’ve just recorded an episode for instance where the Brigadier is saying to him, ‘You remember, you came to my retirement party and then we ended up on Gallifrey,’ and he said, ‘No, I don’t remember.’ An essential quality of him is he’s entirely in the moment… He can become Peter Capaldi, he can become Jodie Whittaker, he can become Jon Pertwee. Hopefully, he can’t become Boris Johnson. I don’t refer to any of that [canon]. My Doctor is very much in the moment.”

For many diehard fans, canon is sacred, but this isn’t the case for Eccleston: “I’m not a slave to the canon,” he said. “I think if the show wants to survive going forward, it needs to explode the canon. That rigid adherence to, ‘There can only be this number of incarnations,’et cetera, it’s nonsense. It’s nonsense. The imagination is limitless.”

The canonicity of the Big Finish Doctor Who spin-offs might not have the same interconnectedness of the tie-in media in the Star Wars canon, but since 1998 (yes!), these audio adventures have been carrying the torch of Who stories even when the regular series isn’t even in production. From Tom Baker and David Tennant to writing from Russell T. Davies to the recent return of Eric Roberts as the Master (a part he last played in the 1996 Who TV movie), the talent involved with Big Finish includes nearly anyone from the Whoniverse you can imagine. On top of that, Big Finish has an impressive spin-off universe all its own, including some popular characters—like Chase Masterson’s Vienna—who exist exclusively within the audio-play universe.

So, in that sense, Eccleston has a point about the limits of canon. It barely matters if any of the Big Finish adventures “count” as long as the adventures are awesome. The only question now for hardcore fans of Christopher Eccleston is just how long he’ll continue with these audio adventures. While he isn’t saying exactly, he does have a wish-list for historical figures and Who-characters he’d like the Ninth Doctor to meet in future adventures.

“I think it’s time for the Doctor to meet the Cyberwomen in the 21st century. We’ve had enough Cybermen,” Eccleston said. “I would very much like the Doctor to meet Emily Davison who threw herself in front of the Derby winner and was one of the forerunners of the feminist movement and a martyr for it. I think that’d be extraordinary for him to mix with Emily Davidson and Pankhurst and explore that. As I’ve said earlier, he’s very drawn to the feminine. And I think that it’s great that we now have a female Doctor, and I think we should take that further in the way that we look at history and look at it through a female lens. I think the [Ninth] Doctor would respond very well to that.”

Eccleston also thinks that the 2005 era of Doctor Who was a progressive point-of-departure for the character and the long-running franchise, specifically in regard to feminism. “The feminization of Doctor Who, I would call it,” Eccleston explained. “Russell T. Davies’s great strength was to really elevate the female in Doctor Who. I think Russell writes brilliantly for women.”

Doctor Who: Christopher Eccleston Returns for Big Finish Audio Dramas

By Louisa Mellor

Why Christopher Eccleston Left Doctor Who

By Kayti Burt

All in all, there will be twelve new audio adventures starring Eccleston’s Ninth Doctor. Some of the stories are written by Nicholas Briggs, famous to Who fans for providing a myriad of voices, notably the Daleks several times over, and the Nestene Consciousness from the first Ninth Doctor episode ever, “Rose.” Not all of the audio adventures are out yet, but the first batch from Big Finish are available for pre-order on digital download, CD, and some in some cases a limited-edition vinyl. And, despite what Eccleston has said about the canon not mattering, the Brigadier will appear in a few of these stories, the Ninth Doctor is battling the Mondasian Cybermen again, and if you look closely at the cover art for “Ravagers” it really looks like a Skovox Blitzer (a war robot from the Capaldi era) might crash the party. And in a fascinating metafictional dive into science fiction history; one of the stories even finds the Ninth Doctor sneaking around in 1925 on the set of Fritz Lang’s famous sci-fi film Metropolis.

For Eccleston, though, it’s not just about the monsters or the history. The allure of playing the Doctor is the same as it was 16 years ago. For him, the power of the character is still about finding strength in the face of adversity, and finding happiness even when it seems impossible.

“I remember when I decided to play the Doctor, when I decided to put myself forward for the role, I thought ‘Time Lord, falling through time. What’s the essential element?’ The essential element is that he’s never at home, he’s lonely,” Eccleston recalls. “And I thought I could do that. And I think alongside his joy, that must sit there, this longing for home, this longing for companionship, which is never quite fulfilled. Which in a way is the human condition, isn’t it?”

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Doctor Who – The Ninth Doctor Adventures are available from Big Finish.

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meta-squash · 3 years

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Brick Club 1.4.2 “First Sketch of Two Equivocal Faces”

Time to meet the two least likable characters in this book, after Tholomyes. Mme Victurnien and Bamatabois try, but they can’t beat the Thenardier parents for slime factor.

The Thenardiers are animals (cats specifically) before we ever get to know them as people. Also I think this is one of the only instances where Hugo frames cats in a truly negative light? Usually cats are Liberty and Revolution and also Secret Lions. This time they’re cunning creatures taking advantage of a tiny mouse.

Hugo making quick work of some Class Opinions here. Hugo is describing this sort of in-between class, a limbo between middle and lower, made up of two types of people, of which I assume both Thenardiers are the former. When he compares them to the working class and the bourgeoisie, it’s about what they don’t have. I’m guessing that by “generous impulses” of the worker, he means solidarity? Working class people were/are more likely to help each other and engage in mutual aid, at least to a larger extent than others. Unless he’s emphasizing impulses, in which case maybe it’s more about being reckless? FMA says the bourgeois have “respectability”; Hapgood calls it “honest order.” Either way, that seems to be referencing a more “polite society,” a set of expected characteristics or behaviors and a certain level of success or money. I don’t know. It’s weird. Hugo’s class opinions are complicated and I don’t think I understand enough about French class history and culture to properly analyze all of this.

“There are souls that, crablike, crawl continually toward darkness, going backward in life rather than advancing, using their experience to increase their deformity, growing continually worse, and becoming steeped more and more thoroughly in an intensifying viciousness.”

I can’t help but think about Valjean here. Javert isn’t Valjean’s opposite, he’s Valjean’s weird parallel. Thenardier is Valjean’s opposite. Valjean is a soul that climbs towards the light despite spending so long in darkness, while Thenardier crawls towards darkness. In the moments when Valjean is actively working to become better, Thenardier is simultaneously actively becoming worse. After rescuing Cosette, Hugo mentions that Valjean had been on the brink of falling back into old habits and instincts from prison, but Cosette rehabilitated him and reminded him to work towards being good. At the same time, the Thenardiers are presumably falling into poverty and in the process of losing their inn. Later, Valjean decides to teach Cosette charity and bring her with him to help the poor. I think in general he is, at this point, doing more charity work than ever before. Thenardier kidnaps him and tries to hold him for ransom; in the process he also destroys parts of his own home. When Valjean saves Marius, after an active effort to realize that he needs to sacrifice to make Cosette happy, Thenardier is in the sewers stealing from corpses (or presumed corpses, anyway). As Valjean is dying, again sacrificing himself for what he thinks will be the good of Cosette, Thenardier is trying to trick Marius into doubting Valjean’s goodness and reputation, and trying to get money out of him. As Valjean dies loved and good, Thenardier goes to America to become a slave trader. Valjean and Javert’s entire lives run parallel to each other; Thenardier is like a perpendicular line that they both end up crossing at the same time each time. Thenardier is Valjean’s opposite in that he embodies exactly what Valjean had the potential to become.

Hugo says “We only have to look at some men to distrust them” and I wonder if that’s part of why we don’t actually see M Thenardier until now. The entire scene last chapter was full of all these bad omens and ominous imagery, so we were already suitably aware of the danger. Only, now we’re getting a real grasp and a true description of the reality of that danger for Cosette.

I really like that we get the line “he knew how to do a little of everything--all badly” because it’s yet another way in which he is Valjean’s opposite. Valjean knows how to do a little of everything as well, only he manages to do those things well and to succeed.

Hugo talks about Mme Thenardier’s love of trashy romance novels and throws in a bunch of references, conveniently in chronological order. Clelie goes with Mlle de Scuderi; Madeleine de Scudery wrote her novel Clelie (10 volumes!) in the mid 1600s. As far as I can tell, Clelie is about the siege of Rome and the romances between a bunch of different characters, and it’s very elaborate with a lot of long conversations. She used Roman/Persian/Greek characters as a thinly veiled disguise for contemporary society figures and political commentary. Lodoiska was a 1791 opera based on the novel Les Amours du Chevalier de Faublas by Jean Baptiste Louvet du Couvray. The opera (and presumably the novel) is a classic story of a nobleman rescuing his fiancee from a man who has kidnapped and wants to marry her. There isn’t much I could find on Mme Barthelemy-Hadot, except that she wrote melodramas in the early 19th century. Mme de Lafayette wrote La Princesse de Cleves, a highly realistic psychological novel, in the mid-1600s. She also wrote La Princesse de Monpensier, which was a prototype for the historical novel. There’s not much on Charlotte Bournon-Malarme, except that she was a writer in the late 1700s. Hugo is criticizing the chronological downturn of classic “romance” novels, how they’ve gone from realism and critique to dumbed-down adventure novels. It seems as though Mme Thenardier fills her time and her head with the latter.

Okay I’m not sure if I’m going to interpret the “Mégère parted company with Pamela” line right, because it might be a detail from a romance novel that I just can’t catch because I haven’t read romances from the 17th/18th century. However, I do know that Mégère was one of the Furies, the “jealous one,” and can be slang for a jealous or spiteful woman. The Pamela reference is a little bit harder, since there were two popular Pamela-based novels, but what I’m guessing at is that as Mme Thenardier aged and became less fierce and jealous all the time, she was just a woman who had been forced to marry a man 15 years older than her, who didn’t think much and was boring. I’m really not sure.

I can’t find much on Guillame Pigault-Lebrun, except that he was a fairly popular novelist during the Empire, whose quality flagged during the Restoration. He also apparently wrote some anti-Christian works, which seems to make sense for M Thenardier.

First of all, “the anarchy of baptismal names” is a fantastic band name.

So, from what I can figure out, pre-Revolution, a baby was named after a saint whose name was associated with the day of birth. For example, my birthday is April 14, so I would have been Ludivine. (I’m not sure what happens if someone’s birthday falls on a day with an opposite-gender saint associated with it. Did they just masculinize/feminize the name?) The French Revolution, as well as doing away with the old calendar, also did away with this tradition. People were now allowed to name their children (or themselves, if they did the paperwork) whatever they wanted. In 1803, this law was changed, and from what I can tell, you could either name your children the names of (Catholic) saints, or the names of people from classical/ancient history.

I’m not really sure how the Thenardiers got around this law, at least for Azelma. Epona is a Celtic goddess. Euphrasia was a saint from the 4th century. I have no idea what Azelma is. I suppose that’s the “anarchy” indicated. But maybe I’m missing something? Please someone correct me if I got stuff wrong.

Anyway, Hugo praises these changes as an aspect of equality. People aren’t restricted to the few names associated with their name day. They can branch out. Anyone can have the more “elegant” names associated with the classical/ancient history names, even workingmen. It’s also something that can’t be chiseled away like the Ns on buildings or removed like statues. People with those weird names from the decade they were allowed are living, breathing proof of the progress of the Revolution and force people around them to confront the fact that it happened, even if they’re back to celebrating the Restoration. Yet another minor but weirdly significant ripple of change.

#les miserables #les miserables meta #brickclub #lm 1.4.2 #les mis #les mis meta #maybe a little shorter than the last one?#maybe? but probably not

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davidjjohnston3 · 3 years

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The trees are straight and true here, and the help comes without seeming harpoons. I considered some insane things which were ‘above my pay-grade’ and as is my wont reflected on the state and implications of my former profession and what old friends and pharons meant to me. Right now think that my core goal in life is not to blow myself up. As a former would-have-been SecState said, ‘I love so many people.’ I am only sad that trying as I did to uproot that carrot of love just now could have resulted in the demolition of an entire root-network, of at least my own excision therefrom.

‘Some people’ want revenge against life for not going their way or not being the color or fragrance or face shape they like or feel it ought to be - ‘no that is not what I meant at all.’ They will never hold a life reliable which doesn’t resemble their ideal, imago, or ‘soul-idol’ &c. The meaning of the name ‘Cordelia’ as in King Lear is something like ‘heart’s ideal.’ I was driving and considering a novel that I feel touched absolute supreme greatness without knowing it or in a way that could mislead some readers Mrs. Mary HK Choi’s Yolk a novel I looked forward for a very long time. I had all these references and fractal coreferences and forgot about actual birds, like what does the chick eat in the egg.

‘Blood is the life’ - I liked etymologies for a long time and my intellectualism caused me acute trouble in Confirmation Class at Morrow Memorial United Methodist Church in about 1998. ‘Pastor’ Gretchen taught us the word root ‘consacramentum’ which comes from dipping the hand in blood in the concave of a Roman shield - those huge rectangular shields which could be used in formation as ‘testudo’ or turtle to stop projectile weapons and allowed soldiers to make pin-point stabbing attacks from a ‘matrix(?)’ of high protection. I forget what kind of animal was killed to pool the blood in the shield but it might have been a rabbit.

I was reading ‘Revelation,’ I don’t recall what everyone else was talking about. Some kind of community service project, interview your parents, buy a wedding-magazine and make a whole plan for how you would get married and how much it would cost (and while you’re at it describe how you would 1) restore a classic Shelby Cobra using newspaper and Krazy Glue 2) drive foresaid drop-top to the Moon).

The Pastor was a pipe-smoker named ‘Painter’ who used the NY Lotto’s ‘Hey you never know’ slogan to describe sth like Pascal’s Wager; OTOH St. Paul teaches us that everyone is born knowing God exists (Romans). The problem is that people fail or omit to glorify Him or subsequently ruin or betray their own best efforts through blasphemy, turning or falling away, cowardice, denial, attachment to certain sins or being ‘yoked unequally’ with non-believers.

I reflected starting in 2008 that I was shy of my ‘first love’ (rather, the woman I fell in love with at 14); at the time I gloried or reveled in the shyness like a Wallace Stevens poem that ends, ‘And not to have written a book.’ I could’ve written a few books by now or walked away from book-writing or changed my mind / specified which kind of book I might have written and for whom.

I remember always admiring the ‘magic’ of literature and feeling sad I had no characters or world of my own to work magic with. Star Wars and my own life and later much else supplied ‘materia poetica’ and till the point that I began to think in fiction and became addicted to interpreting my own in ‘story-ideas’ although that is not to say that what happened around me didn’t happen.

America is trying to become a better country in numerous valences, loving our neighbors, holding each other accountable. ‘Justice’ with or without the marks is important. It is a divine Judgment that Covid fell on the world even if eventually we all shall learn who devised the virus or leaked it or modulated its mutations. I was eager to rejoin the world feeling I might overcome my mental illness but I mishandled specific questions and tests. I ended up turning people against me and creating monsters more than ever as well as perhaps terminally sabotaging any chance I might’ve had of fulfilling a dream or making good on the past. I have a lot of opinions on the CCP but should’ve focused on love and family and personal responsibilities as in the past or at least held to my long-standing feeling that Chinese people deserve better rather than associating myself with hard-liners and racists or those who would simplify issues in order to bring about ultimate victory without temperance or concern for the side-effects.

In Milwaukee where I lived for far too long everyone’s spirit - electric, intellectual, visory(?), informational et cetera seemed to be militating against everybody else’s. There were fake vaccines, radioactive ice cream (or thermogenic ice-cream), gun-battles as usual, lines crossed, all kinds of scores that people tried to settle. I also realized that the police were probably tracking for years my various attempts to obtain weapons from samurai-swords to handguns though the purpose was defensive and I can only trust at this point that some good lawyer will prevent the bad lawyers and cops from presenting the most damning circumstantial case they could. People in Milwaukee own AK-47′s, automatic shotguns, probably all kinds of explosives, improvised chemical weapons and (’our Black brothers’ - Schopenhauer) biological weapons - the cops don’t stand a chance that I can tell and even the National Guard perhaps could get outclassed by retired military. I had told myself for years that it was only the ghetto’s that bore witness to this paramilitary equipage and that the retired SEAL Team 4 member with the ‘Stop Socialism’ and ‘Jobs Not Mobs’ sign on his front lawn would protect me from the Maoist-Covid Night of the Long Knives but I feel I tempted God a lot in the past.

I read all these books and took to heart that people thought I was just entertaining myself with but now as then I should’ve guarded my heart or not begged the question of what others thought about me or saw in me. I literally felt of late ‘I am the anti-Christ’ - good-looking at times, preach world peace, ‘form of godliness,’ want to be friends with everyone, build bridges - and had to rack my brains to come up with an ‘anti-Christology’ and science / concept of the Whore of Babylon just to make sure it was more than me alone. I also wished to simplify my past and help kids ‘get life right the right time’ doing battle with philosophies that opposed this consciously or otherwise but stepped into numerous minefields and also tried running when I should’ve flown over.

Everyone’s trying to get rich and build back better and I profoundly admired the American President for doing, finally, apparently, what presidents had tried to decades even as I remember ‘Flowers 1881′ a poem that implies that basically teachers can do only so much before turning their kids loose in a world no one has yet fixed and which others keep breaking; from a California almanac that also instructed me that the same old debates and cross-fires and burdens plague teachers as always, not that it is an ‘impossible profession’ but honestly that God won’t let us establish Heaven on Earth or at least not me or at least not America or at least not teachers who savor the experience of being a teacher or the beauty of their students more than the outcomes or commitment or intrinsic value of the work or the confirmed identity / vocation / personhood of the instructor. There are always new and old at any rate and different cultures all describe the teacher as needing to keep both alive; as do descriptions of higher education and scholarship.

I questioned my qualifications / background and wondered about re-training but can’t afford tuition anywhere so I am trying to cling to the core of my capabilities / blessings. ABC and XYZ. The glory of the soul or souls.

I kept theorizing Russian literature as well as weapons-systems and ultimate destiny, sailing ships, noble names, divisions, the flaming sword of Archangel Gabriel, the mission of Russia today with respect to the world order. I am also simply trying to be healthy and stop for a while trying to parse out who was the love of my life or what it still left in terms of action or redemption or justice or surrender or mitigation or meeting new friends or propounding the kind of understand with carefulness I have believed in - ‘saving people from themselves.’ Driving up here I remember being distressed at a gas-station in California when I was about 5 or 6 since the pump was leaking, being very upset with my parents and family. In those days I also disliked animal-cruelty though the world today seems so depraved and deprived with respect to human interests I would make no bones about neglecting most all animals outside of military or police use. When I was about 3 I saw white kids set a frog on fire; my mother has a history of running over cats.

I dislike winging it and taking risks. There is a song I call to myself ‘Run Away’ though its title is ‘Paradise.’ I am not a utopian communist for believing in secular justice and its instrinsic value... I wonder whether when I helped people in the past there were always strings attached or maybe I was just trying to close my case and discharge my responsibilities too rapidly without allowing others to gestate or make an abode in my heart besides and beyond what I could get out of them, glorifying myself, or tell others about.

What is motherhood? What is travail? Is there a kind of problematic ‘female gaze’ as feminists talk of a ‘male gaze’ associated with sadism or fascination / fetishism? It’s psychology which is not my first love at all since it appeared pretentious and distracting and retarding (in the literal sense of slowing down).

I also remembered reading various things about Victor Hugo whose ‘93′ is an important novel today due to its techno-utopianism, feminism or ‘new model egalitarianism,’ fusion of revolution and religion, etc. But I had forgotten ‘Les Miserable’ with its themes of ransom or eventual recompense, genealogies, caution, and more none of which is to negate the various complains against me or death-warrant from China or my parents with their partial private readings of Proverbs (’Let’s stone David for embarrassing us / not doing precisely what we want’ - no mention of witnesses, tribunals, questions, mitigation-hearings, actual counsels of judges etc. but just American-German ‘coalitions of the willing’ ‘run and get my gun’ ‘team-building’ etc. which in my experience ends with tanks on the street and military dictatorships as when at the end of the CultRev PLA regulars were gunning down former justice-fanatics who’d been stripping women, kicking pregnant stomachs etc. as in The Vagrants). Naturally having grown up in a family fascinated with Lee Kwanyew and Arnold Schwarzenegger and conflicted about ‘fascism’ I had reservations about the United States’ ability to suddenly dress up and ‘stand at perpetual moral attention’ but I guess my own problems are just that I am poor with a rich kid’s mind and no one really likes me except strangers and faraway friends who were easily spooked and/or just couldn’t be there. ‘King of South shall attack and King of North shall crush them with chariots &c.’ - in the end righteous will prevail whichever side of the line I end up on in the final assessment. I also remembered today a novel called ‘The Old Capital’ about a bad artist father, a virgin daughter, straight and true pines. Some other aspects of this novel are silly as well as criminally problematic and there's a lot of that going on in new-old old news America / Babylon or at least to quote my favorite lawyer / leave lawyering movie 'First let's get out of Milwaukee.' Miss the land of June snow.

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odinsonsobsessed · 5 years

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Congratulations on your 500 followers!!! Could you write one where the reader is an actress too and while shooting she and Tom keep flirting on set and when they have to film a sex scene, she has to somehow touch him and he accidentally gets aroused and then he reveals he is very attracted to her? Thanks

Thank you, darlin'! This sounded a whole lot better in my head, but I hope I've done your idea justice and you enjoy it!

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston/Reader || Word Count: 1.4k || Warnings: Smut

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tom Hiddleston was a major flirt.

At least towards you.

You had the opportunity to star in a film alongside him after your last project gained some attention, so you took it without hesitation. You would have been stupid not to, Tom's reputation was pristine and everyone loved him. After playing Loki for many years, he'd gained a lot of fans for a decades time. His play, Betrayal had just finished its round and it was a huge success. People from all over the world had come to see the handsome British actor perform live.

From the moment you worked with Tom, he was sweet and kept the mood light while you were on set. He was very easy to work with and it was an absolute dream to work side by side with. The flirting began almost straightaway and you couldn't help but flirt back. He was extremely handsome and drove you absolutely crazy, especially during your romantic scenes. It wasn't long before you really took a liking to him. It had been over a month already since filming started and you were enjoying every minute of it.

The film was about a romance between two rival bakers who owned a store across the street from each other. Due to unforeseen circumstances, they were forced to spend time together and they began to fall in love.

That's how you got to your sex scene with Tom. A couple of days before, the two of you set up the scene with what will later be a steamy make out session in your character's apartment.

The whole morning, your stomach swirled with nerves. You hadn't had much experience with those types of scenes and you knew he did. He didn't seemed bothered by it though, he was his usual flirty, carefree self.

You came out of your dressing room in a robe and walked together with Tom to the set. You weren't completely naked underneath your robes, but you only had panties on, and Tom probably had boxer briefs on.

The two of you approached the bed and began to shrug your robes off. Tom began to settle onto the bed on his back, instructed by the director. Once he was into position, you followed suit. He helped you straddle him and the crew began to bunch the sheets around you, covering the view of your panties.

As they put everything into place, you stared down at Tom awkwardly. A grin stretched on his face as he said, “Hello beautiful, do you come here often?”

You smacked him lightly on the chest, making it rumble with amusement.

“I certainly don't think that is in the script.”

“Neither is your cheekiness, but here you are.” Your retort was purely playful and the banter was cut short by the director calling out commands for the camera crew to get ready. You took a couple of breaths before everything began.

You tucked your hair behind your ear and stared down at Tom for a few dramatic moments as he returned your gaze. If his tender expression had been real, you would have melted. When he reached up and cupped your breast, dragging his thumb across your nipple, you closed your eyes and shivered. Then you leaned down and pressed your lips to his. God, you loved the feeling of his lips. He was a fantastic kisser, so believable and passionate.

Tom moved his lips in sync with yours, reaching up to cup the back of your head as you began to move your hips against his. The moan he let out sent heat through your body and you struggled to remind yourself that people were all around you and he wasn't really being intimate with you. This was all for show. Once the director said Cut! everything would stop and you'd move on to the next scene.

But when he turned to two of you over so that he was on top, it took everything you had not to gasp and ruin the improvisation. Tom deepened the kiss and you moaned into his mouth, snaking your arms around his neck.

The moment he rocked his hips against yours, you felt him. As in, he was pulsing against you. He was incredibly aroused, there was no doubt about that. It made you ache between your legs and suddenly you had this incredible urge to have him inside you.

The director yelled, “Cut!”

“Tom…” You muttered as he lifted his head. Without so much as a glance, he detangled himself from you and quickly slipped his robe on.

You sat up, cheeks red hot and slipped on the robe the crew handed you as your heart pounded in your chest. You watched as he left the area, mumbling to someone that he was taking a break. What in the world…?

Wanting answers, you got up and followed him. Rather than knocking, you walked into his dressing room and closed the door behind you.

“What the hell was that?”

“What was that?” He repeated, stepping toward you, his eyes held so much lust in them that you began to feel extremely warm again. “I think you know what that was.” You swallowed as he stopped just inches from your smaller frame. His chest was heaving as he looked down at you. Your breath hitched as gently gripped your chin in his hand and ran his thumb across your lips. “Do you have any idea how attracted to you I am?”

You ran your tongue along your lips, wetting them as you gazed at one another, the tension quickly building even higher between you. With a shaky breath you said, “Show me.”

Tom smirked, staring down at your lips for a few moments before pulling them to his. He pulled you flush against him and you felt him throb through his robe against your stomach. You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him with just as much passion.

He snaked his hand between your bodies and pulled on the tie to your robe, exposing your tingly, sensitive skin. He pinched your stiff nipples between his fingers and you moaned into his mouth.

“Tom…” You breathed and his tongue slipped into your mouth with a groan rumbling in his chest. Your feet shuffled backwards as he pushed you towards the wall. When your back collided with the wall, his hand cupped your breast and he kneaded it in his hand, moving his mouth to kiss and suck on your neck.

“Oh God, Tom… please… touch me.”

His fingers found their way into your panties and when they slid through your folds, he let out another groan. “You're so wet for me already.” He proceeded to rub your clit and you gasped heavily, tugging on his robe so that you could run your hands along his bare chest. Eventually you slipped them down past the waistband of his boxers and stroked him.

Your name came out as a whisper against your collarbone and he stuck two long fingers inside you, quickening his movements. “That feels so good, darling.” His lips met yours hungrily as you pumped his cock up and down, driving him absolutely crazy with desire.

He shoved your panties down and you did the same with his boxers. He lifted you up, guiding your legs around his waist and braced you against the wall, “You have no idea how long I've thought about doing this.”

The head of his cock brushed against your clit repeatedly and your eyes rolled back. He had you panting and trembling with need, growing more powerful the longer he made you wait. “So do it.” You urged in the form of a whimper and it was all he needed before he was easing himself inside of you.

The duo of inaudible moans were exchanged between the two of you as you stretched around him. With a bruising grip to your hips, he began to move, thrusting himself inside you needily.

“Yes, Tom, please…” Your pleading seemed to spur his passionate movements, his lips kissed your skin everywhere as his hips rocked back and forth into yours. You dug your fingers into his back and he silenced your noisy mouth with his as you drew closer and closer to complete bliss.

Tom repeated your name like a prayer as the rhythm of his hips became erratic; he was close and so were you.

“Cum for me, darling.” He purred when your legs tightened around his waist and your breath came out in pants.

You tangled your fingers into his long, curly hair as he kissed you. Waves and waves of pleasure crashed over you, the flutter of your walls around him pushed him over the edge.

Pressing his forehead against yours, he struggled to calm his breathing as he stilled his hips. Your legs loosened and your head tipped back against the wall.

“So, are you convinced?” He panted, pulling back to grin at you.

“Oh, I don't know…” You fought back a smile, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth. Tom flicked his gaze down to your lip before meeting your gaze once more. “Might need to show me again after we film.”

“Gladly.” He growled, pulling you in for another kiss.

@fandom-and-feminism @fadingcoast @igotloki @mrshiddleston-uk @nikkalia @manager-of-mischief @spidey-bites @kcd15 @dangertoozmanykids101 @xxloki81xx @devilbat @furstinnajoelle @exbandragirl @sabine-leo @screw-real-life-i-pick-fandoms @officiallyunofficialperson @joyofbebbanburg @littlefrogstuff @wolfsmom1 @wrappedinlokisarms @scorpionchild81 @theoneanna @drakesfiance @awkwardfangirl2014 @archy3001

#tom hiddleston/reader #tom hiddleston x reader #tom hiddleston #smut #500 follower celebration

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ruffiorocks · 5 years

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What reason does Lena have to suddenly be 'evil'?

I'm still seeing lot of

"Lena can't turn evil!"

"Will Lena turn evil?"

"Is Lena evil now?'

The thing is, Lena hasn't displayed any intention of turning to the dark side at any point since she first showed up. But the main point is Lena doesnt have a legitimate reason to 'turn' evil. The only beef she has (if she chooses to see it that way) is her friends have lied to her. That is in no way a reason to turn evil.

Lena "my friends who I've spent 3 years building up relationships with and saving the lives of while they simultaneously save my life lied to me! Henseforth I'm going to destroy National City, the city I have protected and paid to rebuild! Alongside this I'm going to destroy Supergirl and all her friends, National Cities protectors, leaving just me to deal with any issues that come up!! Mwhahaha!'

Yeah.... See how incredibly stupid that sounds? Lena has every reason to be pissed off with Kara and everyone, they have lied to her, left it far to long to tell her the truth, told others (Nia) the truth long before even considering telling Lena. Kara has also used her via her alter ego, and did use Lena's boyfriend against her. Lena may have let that go with Supergirl but her bond with Supergirl was never like her bond with Kara. Learning it was your best friend who didn't trust you and honestly thought you were out to get them, spoke down to you, thought they had the right to order you around and then used the relationships you allowed yourself to build in your vulnerable state against you does in fact warrant being genuinely pissed off.

But pissed off doesn't = evil.

Lena has don't nothing but try to and successfully protect the people and Aliens of National City, kept James' dumb ass out of prison, denounced the COL, sent her own mother to prison after she threatened to kill all aliens, came up with a way to get rid of the Daxamites (with Winn), helped defeat the World Killers, kept Supergirl alive more than once. She's also helped to rebuild National City after the Daxamite invasion, agreed to marry her best friends boyfriend and essentially be used to create a baby all so that a hospital full of kids wouldn't be killed.

She saved the free press from Morgan Edge after Kara, who had stupidly decided that she could no longer be the person she is, and her relationships with her family and friends were null and void because her boyfriend of a few months she had a turbulent realationship with wasn't around to define her anymore (setting feminism back several decades) decided to actually acknowledge Lena's existence purely because she needed her for something, then in the same scene ignored the fact her best friend missed her.

So yeah... Lena has been treated pretty appallingly at times by Kara and by James. James ignored her authority as his boss, rejected her when she told him she loved him. He was also ungrateful she had saved his ass from jail. BUT did Lena seek revenge? No she didn't, because she isn't like that. The only people Lena has shown any anomisity to are the actual bad guys, Lex, Lillian, Edge, Lockwood etc.

So yeah Lena has every reason to be pissed off with her friends, she may decide to not talk to them anymore, or she may decide to keep quiet so she can keep herself in the know and will know when she's being lied to, that's all if Kara doesn't come clean first (highly unlikely). Lena has reason to believe she has been being 'supervised' this whole time. Her emotions will be everywhere, all those little boxes opened, all the good times she's had with Kara or Alex or even James now fighting with the idea no one really cared to begin with and were just watching her.

But in conclusion, Lena has no legitimate reason to become a villian. Lena has no reason to suddenly hate National City, no reason to suddenly hate all aliens and to be honest no reason to hate Kara enough to want to destroy her.

Pissed off and feeling betrayed and hurt does not equal 'evil'.

Most villains who attack usually have a reason, vengeance (Lena doesn't have a reason for this), world domination (Lena has shown no interest in this, she's already in a powerful position), or insanity and we all know Lena isnt crazy.

So Lena suddenly becoming hell bent on revenge and becoming evil makes no sense whatsover. You can't even use the excuse that Lex taunted her, because Lena has shown she isnt like Lex and is smart enough to know he was trying to get a rise out of her.

Heck even Lillian AND Lex were smart enough to point out that Lena isn't like them.

Making her bad just eradicates everything Lena has said or done since she first appeared.

I wish people would give this more thought than 'oh Lena's upset and her last name is Luthor, will she be evil now?!' where is your reason?!

#supergirl #lena luthor #kara danvers #alex danvers #anti james olsen #lex luthor #lilian luthor

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carrotwine4captainhops · 5 years

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Major Character Death as a creative writing tool

I’ve always been interested in the craft of writing. I’ve been mulling over the way Major Character Death is used as a tool in fiction for awhile, and after watching the extremely problematic death of Quentin Coldwater, (and the self-congratulatory responses of the show’s producers who apparently believe they invented the concept) I thought I’d give you the the high school level compare and contrast MCD essay you didn’t really need or want.

Before I start, I want to be clear that MCD as a tool is not a bad thing by itself. Many, many fiction authors use it in a very calculated way, and as long as it serves the story well, they’re doing their job. Many essays and books about the craft of writing discuss its use because it is just another tool in the creative writer’s tool box. When done well, it makes you cry in a good way; when done badly, the death feels like a cheap gimmick to force an emotion without doing much work as a story teller. The latter is definitely what happened with the season finale of The Magicians.

If season 4 of the magicians had been a novel, it would have been sent back for major revisions before publication.

The first MCD that came to mind while watching the season 4 finale of The Magicians, wasn’t technically an MCD, but may as well be: the ending of the Golden Compass trilogy. The two protagonists have recently fallen in love, and make the difficult decision to return to never see each other again as a way to save the multiverse from the damage caused by traveling between worlds. They won’t even be able to contact each other, and will have to live out their lives as if the other had died.

It was incredibly painful to read (it’s the first book I cried over), but it was beautifully written and a very logical conclusion that the author set up from book one. The books are about (among many other things) the failures of adults and authority when they make selfish decisions, and by choosing to put the health of the universe above their own happiness, they made the bravest, most adult decision they could. It’s a message about the hope that younger generations can fix the things that their predecessors broke if they’re brave enough. The Magicians almost had a similar message.

The second MCD I thought of was that of “Wash” from Firefly. Like a lot of other fans of the show, I got angry at this death in the movie Serenity (essentially the series finale of the TV show). Wash was the comedic relief and voice of optimism in a dark and dystopic show. While Quentin was clinically depressed, and, in the words of Margo Hanson, ”moderately socially maladjusted”, he also acted as the voice of hope to his peers. Both characters were the emotional core of their shows, which was a big reason why they were chosen by their perspective creators as the deaths that would be most felt by the audience. They both got a funeral scene, to really drive home how much the other characters (and by extension, the audience) would be impacted by their death.

In Wash’s case, having his death be accidental impalement during a crash didn’t feel entirely satisfying or necessary. It felt like a lazy way to make the audience sad and motivate the rest of the characters to Really Get That Baddie… BUT, this cheapness is balanced by the symbolism of an outlaw pilot literally dying at the helm of the ship he loved while trying to save the world. It also didn’t send any problematic messages to the audience. Wash was not the protagonist or a “self-insert” the way Quentin was; he wasn’t suicidal or part of an underserved minority group (and make no mistake, by making Quentin sexually fluid/bisexual, the producers signed themselves up for a more thoughtful treatment of his death, if it had to happen.)

The message from Wash’s death is one that is very familiar to readers of genre fiction MCDs: simply: “not everyone lives” and “people who put themselves in high-risk situations sometimes die”. Both of which are painful but fair messages to absorb.

This same tactic was used again by Whedon with Agent Coulson in The Avengers. As an optimistic “plot-armor-free” side character who had become a fan favorite, he was given an entire arc in the movie that the audience wasn’t expecting, made to be even more loveable, and then killed off in a long emotional death scene which was then used in the third act turning point of the movie. Whedon made it clear in interviews that the whole death was coldly calculated to squeeze emotion from the audience, and up the stakes in a way that a large body count couldn’t. It upset a lot of fans, it wasn’t perfect, but it was well done and fitting for the narrative and made the movie stronger, and, again, he wasn’t a member of a minority group. (And as a side note, a different creative team knew how popular Coulson was and managed to resurrect him for his own TV show and managed to do it in a way that wasn’t flip-his resurrection had consequences that lasted at least until season 5, the current season).

There is no mitigating balance to Quentin’s death. He was suicidal from day one of the series, and he left via (a purposefully plausible) suicide. His first question, once he realizes he’s dead, is not, “Did the plan work?” or “is Eliot OK?” (the friend he’d been working so hard all season to save) or even “is Julia/Alice/Josh/all my other friends ok?” These are questions that would be plausible and fitting in a character who’s journey has about helping friends and the world out of tough situations. But no, the first thing he asks is “did I finally kill myself?”

With one sentence, his character returned to the self-centered, timid, low-confidence, suicidal mess he’d been established as within five minutes of the show’s pilot. He had no self-realization until after watching his own funeral, at which point he happily and peacefully goes to heaven. At best, that’s heavy-handed symbolism. At worst, it’s erasing all of his character growth and making his entire story pointless, while sending the very dangerous message to the audience.

The writers stated in interviews that they made his death all about suicide on purpose, and now (as of this writing) they continue to refuse to grapple with how problematic that is.

Another MCD that seemed to do the same thing was Tris from the Divergent series. Like Quentin, she was the protagonist. Also similar to Quentin, her arc was almost too on the nose: she was born into a clan literally named “Abnegation” and indoctrinated from birth to sacrifice herself for her community. She wasn’t even allowed to look into mirrors in case she caught even a smidgen of self-regard. And how does her story end? By her sacrificing her life to get the “big baddie” and save her friends and family.

Like Quentin’s death, a lot of her character growth appeared to be erased in the last few chapters of the book. Prior to Book 3, Tris had been learning to question her upbringing, to think for herself, that it’s ok to look for happiness for oneself, and that selfishness takes many forms, not all of them bad. When she makes the decision to kill herself in the end, it left a bad taste in my mouth. The plot didn’t require her death, (for example, there were other characters who could have gone in her place, and as a leader at that point, the more difficult decision probably would have been to send someone else on that mission and learn to live with the guilt). Her death and the manner of it, seemed to say, “just kidding, actually the only way to realize your self-worth is to is sacrifice your happiness and entire self for your community.”

Sound familiar?

Quentin Coldwater was just starting to learn (and because he had an audience, to teach) many of these same things. For three and a half seasons, we see him form strong friendships (when he thought he couldn’t); help people (when he thought he was useless), pursue romantic relationships (when he thought no one could love him); he lives an entire lifetime with Eliot during a quest on alternate timeline, where he’s shown having to make the difficult decision every day, to stay alive, to keep working on the tedious and almost hopeless task of completing the puzzle to finish a quest, and then it turns out that the answer to the puzzle all along WAS that daily struggle. Later, in season 4, he tells us that he hopes to be a dad (again) someday; he shows more and more confidence in his magical abilities every season. All of that was erased by the way his death was written.

Even with the uneven messaging of Tris’ death, there is at least lots of room for interpretation. I believe the author was trying to show her final sacrifice as a way of reclaiming part of her upbringing that wasn’t toxic. The character went through a rebellious phase during book one, during which she seems to reject all parts of her former life, even the good ones, right after leaving the Abnegation community for the hedonistic clan of Dauntless. It would definitely be good growth for her, as part of self-actualization, to accept the good parts of her upbringing. I don’t necessarily believe that’s the message we get at the end, but we at least have the possibility. Not everyone has reacted negatively to the way Quentin’s death was handled, so maybe there is more possibility of interpretation than what I see. I’m willing to be proven wrong, but nothing I’ve seen from critics or the showrunners statements has yet convinced me.

Another (highly speculative), parallel I couldn’t help but make over the last few days, is between the Magicians showrunners’s treatment of this MCD and Joss Whedon of a decade ago. His recent fall from grace has finally allowed more critical examination of his past works, but I remember how, at his peak, he could do no wrong. He was the voice of hollywood feminism. He was lauded by critics, peers, and fans. Any voice that questioned him was mocked, dismissed, and even harassed. Anyone else remember when critics call “Dollhouse” a feminist show? None of that has not aged well, has it?

The Magicians producers, riding high off of critical acclaim of Quentin’s homosexual romance in Season 3x05, had ample chance to make the braver choice: to allow a queer suicidal boy make the choice to keep fighting every day despite how hard it was; To break rank with 99% of other TV shows and allow his homosexual romance to be explored and given the same consideration as the hetersexual romances. Instead, they made him kill himself and be happy about it, literally saying in interviews that he had nothing left to live for. Without even addressing his feelings for Eliot. They buried yet another gay, all in the name of a shock-value gimmick, and they think they’re being “revolutionary” and that anyone critical of their choices is “just sad”.

There are about a thousand different ways season 4 could have gone that would have made the writers’ intended message less problematic, more impactful, and more satisfying, and none of them involve a MCD OR a trite “happily ever after”. Consider, for example, that Zelda could have completed her redemption arc in some kind of sacrifice similar to quentin’s. Everett was much more her “big baddie” than he was Quentin’s, it’s just strange that she never got to really confront her mentor-turned-enemy. Consider that, since Quentin’s main focus and motivation all season was to get Eliot back, that he actually succeeds, but, their reunion and relationship is strained. If we must push this idea that “magic comes from pain”, think how much more painful it would be to be to have Eliot finally confess his love to Quentin, but now Quentin is unable to pursue that relationship because of all the trauma he’s suffered at the hands of Eliot’s possessed body all season. Consider that he finally breaks under the strain and excuses himself from further questing, which would easily allow Julia, Kady, or Alice to get more screentime. (I mean, this is just stuff off the top of my head. For a hundred other ideas, check out Archive of Our Own).

They did just about everything wrong with this particular major character death, and I don’t think their choice is going to age well in the years to come.

#cw: suicide #cw: self harm #the magicians #spoilers #season 4 #meta analysis #writing about writing #words about words #major character death #quentin coldwater #bury your gays

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wasneeplus · 5 years

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Why Bojack Horseman season 5 was disappointing

So it ends with a car slowly disappearing into a tunnel. The driver is probably just as confused about her motives as I am in that moment. The music plays, the camera zooms out, the credits roll, the curtain falls. And here I am, feeling more conflicted than I’ve ever felt before about a piece of media.

By now it’s well known what kind of heights the Netflix show Bojack Horseman can sore to when it’s in its element. This show is truly something special. I’ve never seen anything that can touch me, delight me and, at the same time, depress me the way this show can. Catch me at the right time and you might even hear me confess to this being my favourite show of all time. So rest assured that everything I’m about to say I say out of love, and because of the incredibly high standards the show has set for itself. That being said, I do think my complaints are legitimate, and there were enough serious shortcomings to make me feel very disappointed in season 5.

According to many, Bojack Horseman had kind of a rocky start. Looking back at the first few episodes I think they are decent enough, but they’re certainly not representative of what the show would become known for eventually. But we didn’t have to wait very long to see a drastic increase in quality, which kept on going until the season 3 finale brought it to a preliminary climax. I still think season 3 is the strongest one overall, though the highest highs probably occurred in season 4. And then there’s season 5, which is the first time I feel the quality has dropped significantly. Worse, it detracts from previous seasons by putting certain moments in a new, quite unflattering light. But we’ll get there.

Themes of Ruin

The first thing I have to talk about, and I just have to get this out of the way so please bear with me, is feminism and my intense dislike for it. A lot of people when they hear this still think that I feel this way because I have a problem with women’s rights. Nothing could be further from the truth though. If feminism was just a women’s rights movement I’d have no problem with it. But it is way, way more than that. Feminism is an ideology, that brings its own ideological lens to the table. When viewed through that lens the world turns into one where society is dominated by an all encompassing power structure called the patriarchy. Men and women are related and locked together by a massive class struggle, although some more modern strands of feminism hold that men are just as much puppets of the patriarchy. The patriarchy, then, is the source of all the world’s social ills, and puts upon us a moral obligation to overthrow it in some kind of world revolution. Worse still, feminism in recent decades has become more and more anti-science in an attempt to discredit scientific explanations for social ills that they attribute to the patriarchy. It’s gotten to a point where the whole concept of the scientific method is under attack from academics who bought into this world view. I’ve written about this before, if anyone’s interested. All of this makes it impossible for me to view feminism as anything but a nutty conspiracy theory, akin to the kinds of things the alt-right movement would say about Zionism.

So to make the character of Diane Nguyen a feminist was always going to result in an uphill battle to make me lik her. Again, if this confuses you: imagine if she’d been a white supremacist instead, or some other kind of ideologue which would be completely disgusting to you. Imagine if instead of going on about the patriarchy, she went on about the conspiracy to commit genocide against white people, organised by a shadowy group of Zionists. That’s what it feels like for me. No matter how sympathetic the rest of her character is, her spouting that bigoted nonsense from time to time was always going to be a mark against her. And yet, amazingly, for four seasons the writers did make me like her, quite a bit actually. She was shown to be a caring, principled person who held herself to very high standards. While she had her flaws, she also seemed acutely aware of them. So much so that her season 2 arc revolved entirely around her hiding away from one of her failures out of shame. This season however her dark side just can’t be ignored anymore, because it’s intrinsically woven into the entire theme of the season. And the Diane that it brings out is one that the show is trying to frame as an improved version of herself, but honestly she just seems like kind of a bitch to me. But I’ll get back to Diane’s character this season in a moment. First I want to start with some of the more minor annoyances.

The Road to Nowhere

Throughout season 5 of Bojack Horseman I continually felt like I was waiting for something to happen, like the show was promising me something but dragging its heels to get there. I think the main reason for that is that nothing this season really got resolved, and some promising plot lines were barely explored. I know a lack of resolution is kind of Bojack Horseman’s thing. Life doesn’t suddenly end with a credit roll; it just keeps going even after what you think is a happy ending. The creator of the show, Raphael Bob-Waksberg, has stated that he doesn’t believe in endings. A bit of a worrying statement, since Bojack does have to end one day, but it has worked so far. Here’s the thing though: Bojack Horseman is not real life; it is a tv show. As such it needs to keep to a certain structure to tell an effective story. If you want to show something resembling real life that’s fine, but do cut out the dull bits please. We get an entire arc of Princess Carolyn looking for an adoptive child which seemingly gets resolved at the end by.... her adopting a child. Maybe it’s just me, but that feels way more like the beginning of a story than any kind of resolution. We get some interesting backstory about PC during her search, but the whole things ends up feeling like padding. Certainly nothing that compares to her arc in season 4, where we see her go from heaven to hell in the span of several episodes.

Bojack himself this season doesn’t seem to go through any kind of character growth either. There are no moments of revelation that give him and us more insight into his tortured soul. Everything we see of him we knew already, and all the problems he faces are ones that get introduced right at the beginning of the season, to be seemingly resolved at the end. Again, I will get to the ludicrous season climax in a moment, but as for the main character of the show: it seemed like the writers were either disinterested in him or really had no clue where to go with him next. Bojack kind of disappears into the background altogether during much of the season, since most of the other characters get way more development than he does. We do get some interesting interactions between him and Hollyhock, but that doesn’t really go anywhere either.

Mister Peanutbutter’s arc is actually kind of interesting and I have no major complaints about that. Todd on the other hand is probably one of the biggest missed opportunities in the show so far. His asexuality, and the problems coming with that, are barely explored. When Todd first came out as asexual I was a little disappointed I have to admit. I saw Todd as someone who was just really shy about sex, even though he had a healthy social life in most other respects. I saw a lot of myself and my own complicated relationship with my sexuality in Todd because of that, more so because there just aren’t any characters in fiction which represent that side of me. So when that turned out to be wishful thinking on my part, for a moment it was quite a letdown. But hey, the show doesn’t have any obligation to cater to me specifically, and it’s true that I’ve never seen an asexual character either so this could be quite interesting after all! Or so I thought.

In reality the issues surrounding asexuality barely get a mention. I don’t know any asexual people, so I can only go on what I’ve heard. My understanding is that most asexual people are indeed interested in romance, but finding someone who will be there for them, with which to form an emotional bond and a life partnership, but who at the same time is okay with never having sex with them, is quite hard. In fact, it’s something that a lot of asexual people really struggle with. I was a little disappointed that none of that really came into play in season 4, but it seemed season 5 was going to remedy this. As it turned out we get only a few brief moments where its mentioned that asexuals shouldn’t date each other just on the basis of both being asexuals and that’s it.

The rest of the time Todd doesn’t appear to be struggling with it. In fact, he doesn’t really seem to need any kind of genuine human connection at all. That’s fine for a comic relief character, which is how Todd spends most of his time, but if you’re going to tackle a serious subject like this then don’t half-ass it. Hell, Emily seems to struggle with it a lot more than Todd, even though we have seen that Todd does have feelings for Emily. All of the above is mentioned at one point or another, but we never see the consequences play out the way we usually do on this show. More time is spend on the social stigma surrounding asexuality than it is on actually living with it. Maybe season 6 will finally go deeper into the nitty gritty, but if so it remains just another thing that this season sets up only to do nothing with.

Diane

As the final episode of season 5 ends we focus on Diane driving a car. It’s a departure from previous seasons where we would focus on Bojack in the final moments, but it’s a fitting one since season 5 was much more Diane’s story than it was Bojack’s. It’s also a departure in another way, namely that I have no fucking clue what I’m supposed to feel while watching this, nor what’s supposed to be going through the head of the person I’m watching. Diane is probably the most prominent victim of this season’s smothering theme. Normally a theme should strengthen the material by binding everything together in a package that’s greater than the sum of its parts. But as previously mentioned this season has a strong feminist bend, and one of the stated goals of feminism is to make the personal political. As such, everything having to do with it is swallowed by the political message it’s trying to get across. At least, that’s what it seems like. With Diane we start out observing a woman who is trying to cope with her recent divorce. This was the obvious angle to take of course after season 4, and certainly one with a lot of potential. I really felt for Diane as she had to struggle with her newfound poverty, both in her love life as well as her, well, actual life. In episode 4, titled BoJack the Feminist, it all comes to a head for the first time however, beginning with the following stupid line:

Who? Who loves male feminists? As far as I can tell they’re one of the most despised groups of people populating the political landscape. Obviously anti-feminists loathe them, often even more so than their female counterparts. But judging by the portrayal of every man claiming to be a feminist in this show I doubt even the person who wrote that line holds them in very high regard. I would think that someone trying to write political satire would at least have to be grounded enough to know something like this. During this scene we are also subjected to the following tired cliche:

One would think that by now everyone knows this simply isn’t the case. It’s not like feminists have never tried to broaden their appeal by finding a man to speak for them. As it turns out this never works. Because the world in which a man’s word is taken so much more seriously that it’s the only way to get a message into the public consciousness, that world exists only in the heads of the most devout feminists. The only way to still be clinging to this notion is by completely ignoring reality. As it happens that’s exactly how it goes, and time and again I have to sit through another incarnation of a feminists “brilliant” “new” idea of: “hey, what if we let a man say it?!” I’m sure every time this happens the person in question thinks they’re the first to come up with it and thinks themselves very smart indeed. I don’t know how they respond when it fails yet again, but I doubt we’ll see any introspection on it from the writing staff in season 6.

In any case, this episode was probably the most annoyingly feminist one out there. We get the conformation that Diane also buys into the behavioural psychology side of the ideology, with her whole “media normalising the wrong things” shtick. It’s quite a worrying thing to me that the writers themselves seem to buy into this as well. There is a fine line between weaving a message in your art and making soulless political propaganda. If you care more about the message your art gets across than the quality of the art itself, as Diane appears to do, then it becomes damn near impossible to stay on the right side of that line. Last season there were some signs of this already, when we got the amazingly ridiculous Thoughts and Prayers. It made some interesting points about women and gun ownership (an argument straight from the NRA as it turns out) but ends in a spectacularly ridiculous fashion.

This after the Californian state legislature just passed a ban on all guns after a woman committing a mass shooting, described by PC as “sensible gun legislation” after a whole episode of arguing why gun ownership might be a positive thing for society in some cases. I can’t believe the Bojack writers are that cynical about the motives of gun ownership advocates. I really don’t know what they hope to achieve by knocking down such a clumsily constructed strawman either. In any case, besides the obvious bullshit conclusion the episode itself wasn’t that offensive to me, unlike BoJack the Feminist which wears its biases on its sleef.

The next big development in Diane the soapbox straddler’s journey comes in episode 7 called INT. SUB, where we get this bit from ms. Nguyen:

Admittedly Bojack spends most of this episode being a huge dick, so a verbal slap down was probably the appropriate response here. One might be tempted to brush off this comment as Diane just being angry, and rightfully so. But the way it’s framed it comes across like Diane is supposed to be speaking some hard hitting truth. She’s not though. We’ve been with Bojack for 44 episodes by this point and the changes have been so gradual they’re sometimes hardly noticeable, but they’ve been there. Bojack went from someone who did nothing but keep Todd down to being genuinely supportive of him when he admitted to being asexual. Yes, there was this one episode where he almost helped Todd launch a music career, but I always interpreted that as him trying to impress Diane. He went from someone who would turn down everything he got offered for the flimsiest of reasons to doing a show he knew nothing about as a favour to PC.

He went from someone who cared about no one but himself and his own misery to someone who genuinely cares about the well being of Gina, his costar. He went from someone who pushed everyone away to someone longing for the company of his sister, who he clearly cares about very much. Can you imagine the arsehole of early season 1 doing any of that? So Diane’s comment appears very misplaced and mean-spirited. With some different framing this whole situation could be about unfairly judging someone’s past. Of course we know the show is definitely not going to go there; it railed against forgiving public figures, that is men, for past transgressions just three episodes ago. Anyway, the point is that I can understand Diane saying it in the heat of the moment, but why does it seem like the writers are agreeing with her?

Here we come back to the crux of Diane’s arc in this season. The reason she inflicts her feminist side on us so much is not because it’s in service of any kind of character development. Her arc should've been about her standing on her own two feet again after the divorce, like it seemed to be at the beginning. Instead somewhere along the line the writers decided to make her the mouthpiece of the message this season is trying to send, thus making her character subordinate to political considerations, just as I feared. This is expressed most clearly in episode number 10, Head in the Clouds. Bojack and company are at the premier of their television show Philbert when Bojack is asked to say some words to the waiting public before the screening. Since he has nothing prepared and his head is at a totally different place at the moment he mutters some lines which barely make any sense.

They are enough to set off Diane’s righteous fury however and after the screening she first confronts Flip, saying that she “screwed up”.

The idea is that she thinks because people will identify with Philbert they will rationalise their own awful behaviour. So what we learn here is that Ms. Nguyen, despite her lecturing about media and how it influences people, doesn’t actually understand the first thing about how art interacts with the human mind. The big problem with most human beings is that they tend to overestimate their own goodness. This is not my observation, in fact it’s widely known among folks who study this sort of thing. The best way art can shape us into better people is not by being purely didactic, that is, trying to teach us what’s good and what’s bad. People above the age of nine are not going to absorb that message. Instead, what a piece of media should aim to do is try and help the observer become aware of the darkness in their own soul. The best way to do this is to make them identify with a character like Philbert, make them feel what he feels and then show them the shitty things he does because of it. And everyone feels vulnerable at some points. Everyone, even the biggest arseholes. So when you show someone like Philbert doing something nasty, and the viewer is seriously questioning whether or not they’d be doing the same thing in that circumstance, then you’ve written something successful. Then you’ve written something that can truly affect people for the better.

Of course all of this is completely lost on Diane who, after getting nowhere with Flip, goes to Bojack and confronts him with his earlier statement. She tells him that the point of Philbert was never to make him or anyone else feel okay about what they’ve done. She says she doesn’t want anyone to justify their shitty behaviour because of the show. Naturally Bojack asks her what the hell her problem is, so after some back and forth she confronts him with the tape describing what happened between him and Penny in New Mexico. The situation escalates until Diane starts berating him about what happened with Sarah Lynn. The fight ends with the apparent end of their friendship.

I hate everything about this whole scene. It fact it might be the whole reason I decided to write this. It’s downright uncomfortable to watch at some points. That probably was the intention to some degree, but it’s uncomfortable for all the wrong reasons. I don’t feel “confronted” by anything. Rather I weep for what the writers have done to Diane. This scene feel’s like a bully kicking their victim while they’re down. I’ll talk about the whole Penny and Sarah Lynn thing in the next part, so let me just say here that I don’t understand what Diane is hoping to accomplish with this. She asks Bojack if he feels bad about all the things he’s done, and he admits he does. He does try to excuse it.

But after receiving no sympathy he goes on to claim that he is the real victim, because he has to live with this shit. Whether or not he really means it or is just trying to upset Diane is unclear. What is clear that Diane’s approach is entirely unproductive. Bojack becomes more and more defensive as she becomes more aggressive and unsympathetic. I would also like to know who all these women are that Bojack has wronged. It’s implied that Bojack doesn’t care about their feelings as long as he feels sorry for himself. Diane’s scrutiny isn’t exactly not making him feel sorry for himself, in fact it has kind of the opposite effect, but it’s also hard to sympathise when I don’t give a shit either. Who are all these women? What has Bojack done to them that was so horrible? Again, we’ll get to Penny and Sarah Lynn in a second, but I almost get the feeling that the show is trying to shame Bojack for having lots of casual sex. You can say that’s not exactly a good thing, but it’s not something that he does to other people. Sex, believe it or not, is still something that two people do together under most circumstances. I’m not going to feel sorry for all those vapid starfuckers for getting exactly what they were after. Even in the case of, say, Emily I don’t think he owes her any apologies. He certainly did to Todd for sleeping with the girl he was infatuated with, but then I don’t remember Todd being particularly upset at any of those firemen either. Emily could’ve just said no and that would’ve been the end of it. Instead she decided to approach Bojack and sleep with him.

The fight culminates in Bojack confirming her earlier accusation.

Which we already know isn’t true. After all, what is the point of this whole damn tv series if we didn’t see Bojack change at any point. But the writers put these words into his mouth not because it is in line with the character development we’ve seen so far, but because is serves the message. This season is about confronting powerful men with their awful behaviour, so Diane has to become belligerent to Bojack to confront him, and Bojack needs to tell us she’s right for doing so because he’s learned nothing. Screw you if you’ve become invested in his growth as a character. You’re no different from those who get invested in Philbert and cheer for him, even though he’s awful. That’s what I mean when I say Diane’s just become a mouthpiece for the writers. This scene is to show that Bojack is one of those awful powerful men that needs to be confronted, and the fact that it’s Diane doing it, the same person responsible for making Philbert “too likeable” says something about what the writers think about their main character. One gets the distinct impression that the earlier quote from Diane about Philbert is exactly how they think about Bojack. Given that, who do you think the people who excuse their behaviour because of Philbert are supposed to represent? Why do you think this season is so concerned with teaching us about how media normalises things? What we are watching is the writers confessing to realising how many people like Bojack, and them being afraid their audience is too stupid not to idolise and emulate him. So it has to be more obvious that Bojack is the bad guy, and believe me: they will make it very obvious in the next episode.

But first to wrap up Diane’s... I guess we should call it her “arc”. After angrily leaving the premier with her ex-husband she tops off the night by sleeping with him, despite his new girlfriend. Two episodes later it happens again. During the whole process she explodes several times about how bad it makes her feel, which prompts Mister Peanutbutter to ask:

Which she shoots right back at him. His answer is clear: because he loves her. But we never get an answer from her, and frankly: I would like one. It completely baffles me why she would do this. If her arc would’ve been more about her divorce perhaps this could’ve been explained. But as is it’s a shocking piece of hypocrisy that never gets addressed.

She does mention being a hypocrite and not knowing what she’s doing later on, but naturally there’s someone on hand to excuse her, since she isn’t a man.

Here Diane shows some much needed introspection, but she doesn’t really go into any specifics. What’s more, the final conversation between Bojack and Diane doesn’t even reference any of this. In fact there is no reason given for why she’s helping him beyond a simple “eh, we’re still friends”

What she should’ve said of course is that she realised she can never expect to truly forgive herself if she can’t also forgive him. All the pieces were in place, and it would at least have given all the previous scenes I talked about some kind of point. The execution would still have been awful, but at least I wouldn’t have to use quotation marks around the word arc. But no, we can’t have the author insertion character come off her moral high horse, no pun intended. She just has to do it because she is such an awesome friend.

So yeah, bit of a mess this character. I can almost discern the contours of a logical character progression, probably as it was originally intended. All the ideas were there: her being confused about where she stands with Mister Peanutbutter, being confronted with her own insecurities at the same time, and Bojack trying to get her to play ball with his shitty schemes and her finally putting her foot down. But Bob-Waksberg has admitted that changes were made to the story after they decided to play into the #metoo controversy going on at the time. I wonder if those changes involved sacrificing some parts of Diane’s arc, to give us the mangled corpse of a character arc that we see here.

The Whole Penny and Sarah Lynn Thing

The two main things thrown at the feet of Bojack in the fight with Diane are his involvement in the death of Sarah Lynn and his almost having sex with the daughter of his old friend. Let’s start with the more justified one. What happened between him and Penny was that Bojack, a way older man who should’ve known better, gave in for a moment to the avances of a seventeen year old girl and might have done something with her if her mother hadn’t walked in. Now, I can fully understand why Charlotte would be very angry about this, and why Bojack feels guilty about it. After all, he found something out about himself which wasn’t pretty. But what I never understood was Penny’s reaction to all of this. Specifically the moment in what is probably one of the most profound episodes of the whole series, That’s Too Much, Man!, in which they go to her college and Bojack almost literally stumbles into her. Her reaction to this is... quite bizar. She acts like a traumatised child stumbling into her abuser.

Keep in mind that this happened just last season. So how old is Penny now? Eighteen, maybe nineteen years old? No one says this about themselves just one year later. Never mind the fact that seventeen does not equal little child, I don’t buy that Penny had such a sudden leap in maturity. Maybe if it was ten years later and she had a lot more sexual experience, enough to know that sex can be a completely unromantic act to satisfy some urges sometimes. When she looks around and sees some seventeen year olds, and suddenly realises how young she was at the time, and then she realises she was taken advantage of and feels disgusted? Yeah, I’d buy that. But this is just nonsense. I thought so at the time as well, but I supposed it wouldn’t fit into the story line if we’d had to wait ten years for the revelation. What compounds it is this simple observation by Bojack himself.

And he’s right about that. Nothing actually happened. Sure, there were probably some exceptionally uncomfortable conversations between Penny and her parents afterwards, but I get the impression they worked it out between them. So at most I would expect Penny to look upon Bojack as a rather disgusting old man who she once, in a fit of youthful naïveté, felt attracted to. But this whole trauma angle stretches credulity. I was willing to put up with it as long as it was just another thing to weigh on Bojack’s conscience. The way he saw the incident up to this point was way more important than how it actually happened. After all, only he knows if he really would’ve gone through with it, or at least he thinks he knows. But now, because of the meta-commentary at work here, we as the audience are being scolded for not caring enough about Penny’s feelings by still rooting for Bojack. I’m sorry, but that’s where I draw te line. The reason I don’t care is because what you’re telling me makes no sense, and that’s not my fault.

On a side note: I do find it a bit rich that Diane essentially chastises Bojack for presumably intending to have sex with Penny, when in season one she was singing a rather different tune.

Whether you agree with that or not (I happen to think there’s a bit more to it than that) you have to acknowledge that it works both ways. Maybe Bojack is convinced deep down that he is capable of something like that, but until he actually does we’ll never know, and all we can judge him on are his actions. His actions don’t include sleeping with a seventeen year old girl. I wonder where the writers of season 5 stand on this, and if they realised this character inconsistency. Then again, I think we already established they didn’t really give a toss about Diane’s character this season.

Sarah Lynn then, the drug addict who overdosed on Bojack, thanks to Bojack. Or so we are led to believe. The truth of the matter is a lot more complicated I think. The only thing that Bojack bares the full responsibility for is him calling her up and asking if she’s up for going on a bender. Yes, that’s certainly not the most responsible thing to do, but she’d already revealed to Bojack she was fully intending on going back to doing drugs anyway. So let’s unpack the accusations regarding Sarah Lynn one by one.

So how was that his fault exactly? We see in one episode that her mother was right there on set with Sarah Lynn all the time. Sarah Lynn isn’t and never was his responsibility. The guilt he feels over that was more because of his inaction, which is understandable. Maybe he could’ve helped her, maybe not, but he probably should’ve tried. But when the only father figure in her life is an actor she works with then something has already gone terribly wrong, and not because of Bojack. The real reason it eats him up is probably because he cared about her and because he likes himself much more as a jovial dad than the grumpy washed-up celebrity he became, not because his actions led her to growing up the way she did.

When did that happen? Sarah Lynn never came to him for help. They accidentally ran into each other and after a little incident he immediately checked her into rehab. She refused to stay there though and came to Bojack to ask him if she could crash at his place. That’s the story, morning glory.

You could say it like that. Or you could say that she had sex with him. What’s the difference exactly? That Sarah Lynn was a washed up star, and addict who had a really rough childhood? All of that also applies to Bojack. Sarah Lynn wasn’t some wide eyed, innocent, naive, young thing. She was a grown woman in her thirties. Yeah, her and Bojack probably weren’t good for each other, but she came to him, remember? I can’t for the life of me think of a way of looking at this where Bojack was the one doing wrong to Sarah Lynn and not the other way around. Surely we aren’t supposed to think it’s because Bojack’s a man and Sarah Lynn a woman, right?

She seemed awfully eager to abandon her sober streak though. She lived in a house made of drugs with bottles stacked behind her calendar. Besides, as I said before, according to her she was planning on doing drugs again eventually.

But I get your point Diane. Maybe without Bojack this wouldn’t have happened. Maybe without Bojack she would still be alive. In any case it was pretty reckless of him to do that without any regards for her safety. So, where were her regards for his safety? Remember, he was an emotional wreck when he called her, and she didn’t give a damn. Under similar circumstances Bojack insisted she go to rehab, but she immediately agreed to take him on a bender and didn’t suggest to stop even when he started having severe blackouts. What if Bojack had died instead? Would Diane be giving this speech to Sarah Lynn now? Again, clearly these two weren’t good for each other, but I don’t see how Bojack was so much more responsible for this outcome than Sarah Lynn herself. How are “his actions” solely to blame for this? They were two damaged people doing stupid things together. Should he now feel guilty over having better luck than her?

Well yeah, Diane. What are you, some kind of psychopath? Of course it was rough for him. He was there and could’ve stopped it, but he failed her and so his friend died. That would be very rough on anyone, and especially on someone who is already emotionally crippled. This is what I mean when I say Diane really comes across as a spiteful bitch in this scene. Can you imagine rubbing someone’s face in their friend’s death, even when you’re angry with them? I sure can’t.

In the end I think it’s a good thing for the show that Bojack isn’t actually as horrible as he believes himself to be, or as this scene is trying to imply for that matter. Bojack is an arsehole, sure. He does stupid things sometimes, he does things that hurt other people. But generally those people choose to associate with him, and we see the sometimes twisted, but relatable rationale behind his actions. It’s a good thing that Bojack retains a certain degree of likeability that keeps us rooting for him. If not I probably wouldn’t have watched the entire show up until now. These two incidents were the most shocking ones that happened before this scene, and although we’ve been told before that Bojack is not the good guy of the story, the writers clearly haven’t dared making him the bad guy either. In the end they know what they’ve got with him. Even the climax of this season, although probably even more shocking than anything that came before, they didn’t pull of without leaving lot’s of wiggle room to excuse Bojack. Here, let me show you.

Bojack’s Big Break

Bojack’s arc this season is almost none-existent as far as I can see. We find out literally nothing new about him, and I don’t know how he’s supposed to have changed by the end of it. Maybe it’s because I don’t follow the logic behind anything that happens between him and Diane at the end, but I never had that problem in previous seasons. There are two main developments. The first is Bojack starting to conflict the fictional world of the character he plays on Philbert with the real world and his own life in it. The second is his related drug addiction which begins around the start of the season and drives most of the plot surrounding him.

For starters I would like to say how strange it is to see Bojack develop a debilitating drug addiction. Not because he would never touch the stuff, but because he would, and has, many times before. In fact, he’s been an addict for years by now, and it never seemed to affect him the way these pills do. What’s so special about them? I don’t know. Granted, I’ve never taken them, but are they really that potent that Bojack would rather drown himself in those things than just drinking his pain away, as usual? I know a lot of people don’t realise this because of its pervasiveness, but alcohol is just another drug, same as cocaine, meth and xtc.

So that’s the first problem. The second problem is an out of universe one: it doesn’t tie into any previous character development. It resolves nothing, nor does it really further anything, except Bojack going to rehab at the end of the season. Maybe there we can see some character development, but it would then just be another thing that season 5 sets up only to do nothing with. Given that it doesn’t really affect anything until episode 11, the whole thing feels like an artificial substitute for a character arc. More like a contrivance for the sake of the big climax than something that flows naturally from the themes and character. Well, maybe that’s a bit unfair of me. It only really feels like a contrivance at the climax itself, and only in light of everything else I’ve discussed. In all honesty this plot line is actually woven pretty well throughout the events of season 5, and it does come into play a few times. We see it slowly escalate from the point where almost no one seems to notice to a the complete breakdown of Bojack’s sanity at the end. The problem, once again, is that it doesn’t develop Bojack as a character in any way. This becomes very clear in the big whammer episode when it culminates into a violent outburst on set between him and Gina.

So, the strangling incident then. There are two contradictory motivations at work here on the part of the writers. first, Bojack needs the be firmly reestablished as the bad guy in the story. It needs to be shown that he will just keep doing more and more horrendous things as long as he’s allowed to have a career despite of it and never learn his lesson. The point is hammered home when he strangles his costar on set in a fit of rage. To be sure, it’s the most shocking thing we’ve seen him do so far. Naturally it destroys his relationship with her and when they see each other again she is understandably wounded and furious do to his actions. But something doesn’t add up here and the writers hint at it without even knowing it.

Would he though? Admittedly I’m no lawyer, but I’m pretty sure there are some mitigating circumstances in this scenario. Leaving the legal technicalities aside for a moment, what does our intuitive sense of justice say?

It’s clear from the weird, trippy blurring of fiction and reality in episode 11, the fact that Bojack doesn’t remember anything of it afterwards and the clear implication that he isn’t being himself in the heat of it, that he’s having some kind of drug induced psychotic episode. Considering that he himself brought it on by taking way too many of those pills he’s certainly not blameless. But there was no way to predict this woud happen. Bojack’s never been violent before, as far as we’ve seen. He’s also done a lot of drugs, but it’s never triggered any kind of psychotic break. Not to mention that he got hooked on the pills due to a doctor’s prescription, not because he tried to get high. So at the very least there’s a bit of a moral grey area. In fact, I would say it completely undermines the moral picture this episode tries to paint. Bojack didn’t do this because he’s a bad guy. He did it because his mind wasn’t functioning properly due to outside influence. So the message falls flat. Of course it does: it conflicts with the writer’s other motivation, the reason a scenario where Bojack wasn’t himself for a moment had to be concocted in the first place. If they hadn’t it would’ve completely alienated the entire audience from the main character of their show. As we’ve established that was a bridge too far, so this weird compromise has been put on the screen where we are both supposed hate Bojack but excuse him at the same time. It doesn’t work because those are two contradictory aims.

Let me take a moment to point out how weird this whole conversation is. Gina implies that there’s been no justice for her. Yeah, but the reason there was no justice is because you haven’t pressed any charges, despite overwhelming evidence in your favour. You didn’t, because you cared more about your career than about justice. Now don’t get me wrong, I think the indictment of celebrity culture and the whole Hollywood publicity machine in this scene is actually very well done. But of all the things to get angry about, why bring this up? The one thing you yourself are responsible for. I mean, for crying out loud!

While we’re on the subject, am I the only one that finds it weird how she describes the incident?

He did a little more than that, didn’t he? Just physically overpowering someone is what you do when you want to restrain someone from getting away, or doing something you don’t want them to. In some cases it might be for their own good even. What Bojack did was lay on top of her and strangle her with both hands. If that happened to me I would never describe it in those terms. I don’t know what exactly the intent was with choosing these words. Maybe it’s supposed to show how reluctant she is to talk about it. But it comes across as either an attempt to trivialise the whole incident, or to place any instance of a man overpowering a woman on the same level as what Bojack did.

There is, admittedly, a more charitable reading of the climax, namely as an indictment against Diane’s behaviour in the previous episode. While the theme of the season is evil men and their evil deeds, it also shows there are no easy solutions. Directly after Diane’s confrontation at the premier Bojack is shown to take a large dose of pills to cope. It’s implied that his drug problem only really gets out of hand after that. So while Diane’s outburst might be justified, her moral grandstanding is not the solution to the problem. In fact it only made things worse. The final conversation might make slightly more sense in that light as well. Though only slightly, and it doesn’t exactly fix any of the other problems I’ve mentioned so far. Still, I suppose I should take what I can get. Which reminds me...

You’re Adopted!

Of all the many things that irked me about this season by far the most egregious one, the one that really made me angry, came right at the end. It was the rather underwhelming conclusion to PC’s arc. Her adopting a child and becoming a single mother in the process. What irked me wasn’t the underwhelming part, or that it didn’t fit into her character development, because it did. No, it was the huge blow to my respect for her, and the way in which it was framed. It’s made to look like this happy ending for both mother and child, but it’s quite possibly the most selfish thing I’ve seen anyone do in this show, which is saying quite a lot. Not because of the adoption itself, but because of her choice of doing it as a single mother when a suitable father is available right there.

Now, I realise that this is what PC’s journey as a character has been building up to for quite a while. She’s had difficulties excepting help from other people. She’s also consistently pushed people away who didn’t need her as much as she needed them. In fact, the problem has been escalating as the series went on. First there was Rutabaga Rabitowitz, who was kind of a dick to her so it was probably a good thing to rid herself of his antics. Then there was Judah, who was nearly perfect in every way. She fired him for just one screw up. After that came Ralph, who did absolutely nothing wrong before she decided she needed to break up with him out of nowhere. Contrast that with the infinite number of chances she’s given Bojack over the years. Bojack can, at some points, barely function without her. That’s what PC needs in a relationship, any kind of relationship. Strong, independent people scare her, and she is completely incapable of accepting she might need help from anyone.

Now, all of those are interesting character flaws and serve to make her more sympathetic rather than less. That is, as long as she herself is the victim of them. But when an innocent child is dragged into it I can no longer sympathise. No matter what the personal demons you’re struggling with, when you take on the responsibility of raising a child you should do your best to put them aside. That’s the time to think about what’s best for the child, not about what you want out of it. To just brush of Ralph because “she’s made her plans” and he’s “not in them” is such a shallow reason to rob the child of the chance to have a father in its life. What, she’s going to take care of it when a lot of the time she’s already too busy to pay any attention to her personal life? Or is she waiting for someone better than Ralph to come along?

I probably wouldn’t make such a fuss out of this if the framing wasn’t so horrible. I hoped I wasn’t imagining it at first. That’s when I saw a certain popular youtuber claim that it was clear she was going to handle single motherhood just fine. That’s just such a baffling thing to say, I don’t know where to start. Okay, I have huge respect for women who are thrust into single motherhood and rise to the occasion, making the best of a difficult situation. To willingly foist that upon your little family when there’s an easy alternative is not a sign of “self-sufficiency” however, but of sheer stupidity, ignorance, narcissism, or all of the above. Furthermore, PC’s problem has never been a lack of self-sufficiency. Quite the opposite in fact. Self-sufficiency is her drug. It’s what she uses to plaster over her other problems. So is taking care of others. Which brings us to the last point: I really doubt PC is doing this for the right reasons. With her compulsion chances are she’s taken on this responsibility to solve her own problems. That’s not how this works though. Couple that with the fact that she’s got plenty to do already, and I can’t see this turn into anything but a huge disaster.

I don’t know if the showrunners are smart or honest enough to see the problems that should arise from this. I think they are, they’ve planted hints to that effect throughout season 5, but I’m not sure. Abandoning their female empowerment trip of late will certainly displease a few people. Showing the worst case scenario will be ugly and uncomfortable. Let’s hope the writing staff shows the same kind of bravery with that as they’ve done with showing Bojack’s debacles.

Conclusion

Well, if I think about it for a while I can undoubtedly find a lot more things to bitch about, but I think this will do. All in all I certainly can’t say I hate season 5, or that it was a bad season, but it was a huge step down. The main problems are that the characters just don’t progress naturally, or that their arcs are thin to the point of being almost non-existent. Not that everything that is there is bad, but it just doesn’t feel like enough to fill a whole season. It started out promising, but somewhere along the way the decision was taken to focus more on sending a political message than on where the character’s current journeys would take them and that was really to its detriment. All of the issues I mentioned in this piece could be fixed in season 6, in which case season 5 would become just a slightly too long buildup in hindsight. I do think the team behind Bojack has proven they have more than enough talent to bring this around. However, if Game of Thrones taught us anything it’s that no matter how good a show is in its first few seasons, it can always turn to shit later. Let’s hope Bojack Horseman is spared that fate.

#bojack horseman #bojack season 5 #netflix

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caticornsrreal · 5 years

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Fighting Dragons with You

After twelve years, I'm finally telling the internet why I love Taylor Swift🖤

Hello, internet using world. I’d like to introduce myself to the few people who followed me. Hi! My name is Christa and I am a Taylor Swift fan with every fiber of my being. Full disclosure, this is a short novel so now is your chance to make an exit, but I hope you stay.

Taylor and my ridiculously furry cat, Lyle

(affectionately nicknamed “rent-free”), are the only two beings made of flesh and bone who have been consistent in my life for the last 12 years. With a close second being my son, Gauge, who just turned 10. I won’t get into the details (in this post) as to why that is, but let’s just say there were a lot of ups and downs growing up.

The last 12 years have been an evolution for Taylor,

and subsequently, for me. At (dare I say it)

38 years old, I’ve found that a lot of things happen in a decade. Like, A LOT. Now, I don’t feel 38. I guess I owe that to humor, singing, dancing, sarcasm, and launching a successful career that didn’t exist 15 years ago —something that has made me always push harder to set new goals and stay humble. But one thing I didn’t do over these last 12 years that I deeply regret was starting a fan page for Taylor. I mean, ESPECIALLY since I’m a professional travel blogger who makes her full time living from digital content!

There’s been a lot of momentum over the last 12 years

—demands which left me with little to no free time. But I can’t blame my absence from the Swiftie family entirely on that. In fact, I’d have to say, I blame much of it on fear.

Fear,

of being misunderstood, fear of judgment or writing something lame. I’ve had over 2,000 articles published online and in print as well as countless social posts, but the thought of Taylor seeing something I wrote and thinking it’s totally weird (or cough, too long for the internet), well let’s just say I’d be less afraid of walking into a burning building.

Fear,

of being called a fake because the financial demands as a single mom left me little money to spend on myself or Taylor merchandise, much less tickets to a show. I’ve always placed my son’s needs before mine.

Fear,

that I was too old to be a Taylor Swift fan. I mean, I was 26 when she hit the music scene and she was what, 16? I’ve been afraid. Afraid I would be rejected by other Swifties who really are the only people who understand this love we have for her —which is basically like being rejected by your own people. Also, it’s super weird to be following teens/young adults on social, much less engaging with them.

Fear.

Along with my fear, a perfect storm of entrepreneurial demands, single motherhood, failed relationships (one of which was a marriage), and family matters have served as a constant reminder that my dream of ever meeting Taylor takes residence on another planet. An actual trip to Mars seemed more attainable.

I feel like there is a whole demographic of women, “Swiftie Moms” who echo my story,

having watched Taylor grow into the strong beautiful woman she's become. Women my age who love her from behind the wheel of their SUV, on the way to drop their kids off to school, on the way back from a milk run, in the dark hours of the mornings when they’re dancing in the kitchen with a full on hair bun singing into a coffee spoon. Unnoticed fans who haven’t had the time to dive head first into the Swiftie Universe. But here I am. After all the fear and all the years...

So, why?

This is a hard one to answer. I guess you can say that after many years of challenges, judgment from others, and doing the complete opposite of what logic and reason said I should —divorce, single motherhood, a second degree in my late twenties... risking it all to start a blog (which by the way in 2013 wasn’t even considered a side job much less a career), I kind of got to a point where I became

fearless.

I had to be. I had this tiny living, breathing human being who was counting on me at the very least, to give him a life a notch above the shit show I had growing up. Not to mention parenting —which is basically wandless wizardry pulled directly from the asses of parents. It demands that your mini human grows up to be a better human than you.

Yeah, unpack that.

Take all your collective shit, figure it out, and then teach your mini to do it better —to BE better than you at love, kindness, respect for others (especially boys respecting girls), integrity, money, and to be fearless. All while giving them the comfort of knowing that you, mom, have it all figured out... even when that couldn't be farther from the truth.

Top that with the pressures of working in the public eye

—which, while on a microscopic level compared to a full-on celebrity such as Taylor, is still very much a juggling act with none of the entourage to lighten the workload. Add to it the demands of working with national brands, and the unwavering ability for other bloggers to tear you down at any opportunity, or even worse, try to get close to you so they can raid your success like a Black Friday sale.

I found myself at the peak of my blogging career

but I was consumed by fear, AGAIN! Fear of shady AF bloggers and publicists, and so much to lose. And fear that now, thousands of people would have an opinion of me formed by jealous bloggers, and they didn’t even know who I really was.

That’s when letting go of toxic people in my life became essential

—when, no matter who they were, or how I was tied to them, I had to realize that surrounding myself with the ones who lifted me took precedence over the ones who dragged me down.

After all that..... I learned to give zero f***s about what people thought, or what they said behind my back.

And I had to start caring about what made my heart happy, what made my family and friends smile, and what inspired me to do better. BE BETTER. Be the example of fearless, with the hope that I was lucky enough to stay that way. But I'm a vulnerable human made of heart and soul and sometimes people can still take the best from me.

I had to be fearless.

In August of 2017 when "Look What You Made Me Do” blessed my ears for the first time, I felt it pierce my skin and course through my veins. And to the very bones of this young 38-year-old Swiftie mom, I was shook AF! I sang, I danced and I drowned out the haters in the blogging world. She had a very clear message,

She had zero f***s to give, Taylor broke the internet.

After watching the seemingly endless myriad of shade thrown at Taylor over the years, my heart erupted with happiness as her flawless first single from Reputation revealed one BADASS BITCH. And with every music video release of her new era, she became a mythical Goddess with bullshit evaporating superpowers. Like, I legit think she’s an actual unicorn. After all, she does ride a caticorn named Olivia.

She got harder, she got smarter in the nick of time

One single post on my Facebook page praising her new era and new single she brought with it attracted a slew of hate speech, white people bashing, claims of Taylor ripping off Beyonce... I couldn’t believe the things I was reading from fellow bloggers. I even had a GLOBAL BRAND threaten my business relationship in their ambassador program because I stood up for Taylor and spoke out about the hate speech which was placed on my own personal Facebook page. But I stood by my words.

Fearless.

Over the following months into early 2018, and to the tune of, “This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things”, I, along with a slew of about 20 other bloggers, ended up taking down said global brand’s publicist who was using his budget and power to demean and sexually harass female bloggers (which would later reveal that blacklisting me was more about not buying into that bullshit rather than my voice on hate speech).

Zero f***s given to those haters.

Mythical Goddess with bullshit evaporating superpowers level officially achieved for Taylor, and even for me. Although I wouldn’t call myself a Goddess. That's all Tay. 🖤

She found love through the noise

And so did I. In November of 2017, I had approached the year anniversary of the greatest love I'd ever known. My last stop. And as the tracks played on, my heart was full. We both found happiness through a seemingly endless sea of anguish.

Taylor is truly doing better than she ever was, and so am I.

Her resilience up against the media and the demands of the industry are perfectly fearless. And her decision to keep her beautifully growing relationship with Joe private is wise. I’ve spent the last year at home, which has been incredible. I’ve had a lot of time to think about what’s most important to me, what has shaped me into the mom, partner and entrepreneur that I am, and it all comes back to Taylor. That’s why it’s time for me to be fearless again and officially join the Swiftie universe.

I’ve spent 12 years fighting dragons with Taylor

and growing a canyon of respect and adoration for her charm, wit, business savvy, musical talent, feminism, compassion, tenacity, love for animals, and of course her lovely, lovely, words. I’ve raised my son from birth with her. There isn't a single day that is spent where Taylor doesn't exist in our lives. For 12 years straight.

That’s a long time to love someone who has no idea you exist.

I play her music videos and YouTube uploads just so I can feel like she’s with us. And so my son knows that she’s one of the finest examples of a human being in his lifetime. I use Taylor’s kindness to teach my son how to be considerate and give back to others while sharing her fearless story with him so she can be a positive role model in his life. Taylor has essentially been part of our family all along.

My son Gauge has a running joke that Taylor is the only person that can make me cry

(which happens more than I'm willing to admit). And it’s not because I’m weak, or on the verge of a mental breakdown (although I challenge you to try parenting, you might argue that), it’s because I truly love her like a best friend. When I see her happy it makes me happy, when I feel her sadness, it makes me sad. It’s visceral.

I don't believe the human connection is meant to be one-sided.

I feel in my heart, as weird as this may sound, that we will meet Taylor one day, even against all odds. Existing in the same lifetime as Taylor without at least trying to meet her doesn't feel right. I won't look at my son and teach him to let fear and doubt win, or that defying the odds is an impossible task.

Over the years I’ve been a spectator to her outreach to fans. She’s invited them to sessions in her homes, sent them gifts, invited them backstage, surprised them in their homes, made hospital visits, and Lord knows what else she has up her sleeve. And it’s all been done with pure excitement and love for her Swifties. With each outreach she extends, tears of joy are shed for fellow Swifties, and a ray of hope inspires me.

So, I’m starting a personal blog

which tells a very personal story of all the dragons I’ve fought with Taylor over the years. From living in a car at 15 years old to getting invited to LA premieres for Walt Disney and Marvel films. And I'll have no apologies for the truths that will be told (but will change names for privacy). It will be very personal and some of it won’t be pretty. Because life isn’t always pretty.

Taylor is releasing another album this year... we hope,

and she’ll be on yet another tour in 2020. After 12 years I’m finally ready for it. I’ve given my son everything he could possibly want or need. I’ve bought him a beautiful home in Northern Georgia. He’s been able to travel the world and do things most adults haven’t even done. And I owe much of that to Taylor for giving me the strength to take major risks, the courage to face my demons, the balls to cut people out of my life who were toxic and the self-confidence to defy the odds and do things my way.

2019 is our year to show @taylorswift how much we love her.

I’ll let the universe do the rest. Till then, I’ll be fighting dragons with her as I always have and writing my journal for her and anyone else who wants to read the memoirs of an OG Swiftie mom who keeps it real AF, full-on hair bun and all.

#taylor #taylorswift #taylurking #taylornation #taylor swift #taylor13 #taylorswift13 #taylornation13 #fightingdragons #swifties #swiftie #tswift13 #deartaylor #dear taylor

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redorblue · 5 years

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Those who leave and those who stay, by Elena Ferrante

I’ve already talked about the second part of Elena Ferrante’s Neapolitan Novels, but now that I’ve finished reading the third (it’s called Those who leave and those who stay - and isn’t that just a beautiful title) I need to talk about it again because it’s so. Good! I know that it’s a four-parter, and my e-book version is almost 1800 pages combined, so... yeah, it‘s a lot, but I don’t get why it’s not at the top of every list of contemporary feminist fiction. I might be a bit biased because I recognize so many parts of myself in Elena (the protagonist) that it’s downright creepy sometimes, but honestly:

- the main relationship, and the center of the narrative, is a friendship between two women (although friendship doesn’t really describe it appropriately. The bond that Lila and Elena share meanders between co-dependent and emotionally abusive on the one hand and inspiring and even life-saving on the other, so it’s hard to classify. It even questions whether there’s a romantic or sexual component to their relationship a few times.The point is though, it’s complex, realistic and honest, which is more than you can say about the vast majority of fictional friendships, especially between women.)

- there are lots of other friendships, mother-daughter relationships, mentor-student relationships, frenemy dynamics, and also proper, unapologetic rivalries between women, which (again) is not always pretty, but it provides a lot of complexity and insight into the characters without even getting any male characters involved. Because women actually do talk to each other occasionally, you know.

- the story isn’t set in some all-female alternative universe, so there are quite a few male characters, too, and they play a big part in the story, but 1) we look at them exclusively through the eyes of the narrator (Elena), whose opinion on the male characters very much colours her portrayal of them, and 2) the main characters’ relationships with men are analyzed very thoroughly, which makes for some of the most intense passages of the books.

- so far the books had “themes”, issues that Elena and Lila struggled with and that related to their gender (and their age at the time) somehow. The first book’s theme is education, which is barred to Lila but (grudgingly) allowed to Elena, although both of them are very intelligent. The education issue is the root cause for their diverging paths in life later, and in my opinion also for many of the difficulties that they have with each other. It shapes their lives in a million ways and determines which vulnerabilities they have to cope with, what their self-image is like, where they see their place in life, how others (especially men) relate to them, and so on. The second book’s theme is romantic relationships: while Elena enters a few passionless relationships and secretly pines away for her old schoolmate, Lila has to navigate her marriage to an abusive and controlling man, balance dangerous admirers, and keep secret a passionate affair that throws her life violently off course. The second book’s focus also becomes increasingly intersectional, especially for the categories gender, class and ethnicity (i.e. which region of Italy the characters come from, so this is not related to physical appearance), but the way that the categories interact depends on the paths that were already set up in the first part. For Lila, within the limited world of her neighbourhood, class and ethnicity seem to be less of an issue since her marriage to a rich man, which makes gender the focal point of her oppression, but if she was financially independent she obviously wouldn’t have to stay with her abusive husband as long as she does. For Elena, who goes on to university, gender seemingly takes second place to class and ethnicity, both of which make her stick out in a predominantly northern, bourgeois environment, but as the academic success of her former schoolmate Nino demonstrates, being a lower class Neapolitan is less of a handicap if you’re a man. The third book’s theme is motherhood and family, and Ferrante seems to position this group of themes as something that connects not all women, but certainly all mothers. I have no idea what being a mother would feel like, but the vast majority of mothers in the book displays a mixture of giving everything to make sure that their kids will have a good/better life on the one hand, and the feeling of being trapped/held back by their children on the other. For the older generation of mothers, having children was unavoidable, and even for Elena and Lila’s generation, who in this book discover birth control for the first time, societal expectations are still strong, and the way they experience motherhood is shaped in large parts by the way their partners perform fatherhood - regardless of whether they’re educated or not. This is how Lila, who platonically lives with a poor childhood friend, is able to at least hold a (very shitty) job and be politically active, while Elena, who is married to a professor, is stuck at home with her children and household all the time, which smothers her creative abilities. While the second book was all about differences between women of different classes, educational backgrounds and ethnicities, the third seems to be looking for common ground again.

- I honestly don't know much about Italian sociopolitical history, so I can't check, but I think that the books also incorporate a lot of the zeitgeist of the decades that they are set in, especially in the ideological/intellectual movement department. The third book, which mainly takes place on the seventies (I think?), features a lot of ideas of second wave feminism, and the entire series is set against the background of escalating tensions between socialists, communists and fascists. This dual focus on women‘s rights and class struggle adds another level to a story that is already fascinating because of its very well-rounded characters and compelling relationships, and it makes the point time and time again that you can’t think about one axis of oppression as if it were neatly separable from others. It’s also useful to evoke some sympathy for Elena and Lila’s male friends, who can be awfully patriarchal sometimes, but still suffer visibly from their position as poor young men who have to keep themselves afloat with odd jobs here and there, and are expected to provide for assorted family members as well. I think Lila’s brother Rino is a good example of what poverty and patriarchal role models can do to a man: he starts out as a cheerful young boy who fiercely defends his sister’s right to go to school, and is subsequently crushed by the conflict between his own ambitions, the expectations placed upon him, and the opportunities that life actually allows him. In the end, he turns into an embittered man who is indifferent towards his children and regularly beats up his wife simply because she’s the sister of his old business partner. Thankfully, the narrative never tries to make the reader see him as anything but what he is, and it doesn’t excuse his actions, but it does a very good job of tracing the forces that shaped his life and personality, and I think that’s something that everyone deserves.

most people anyway

#those who leave and those who stay #elena ferrante #the neapolitan novels #2019 #book review #feminism #intersectionality

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whovianfeminism · 6 years

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Whovian Feminism Reviews “The Woman Who Fell To Earth”

It feels like I’ve been waiting ages for this. And finally, she’s here. And she was brilliant.

Doctor Who made an exuberant return to our screens with a new showrunner, an almost entirely new creative team, and — for the first time in the show’s historic 55 year run — a woman as the new Doctor. “The Woman Who Fell to Earth” was a busy episode with an impossibly long list of introductions to make, and yet it managed to welcome the Doctor’s new “fam” in a story filled with horror, humor, and plenty of heart.

I won’t lie — I needed this episode to be good. After fighting for a woman to be the Doctor for so hard and for so long, I don’t think I could’ve handled the heartbreak if it had been subpar. It’s not really fair that TV shows and movies with women leads are held to such impossibly high standards, but that’s the unfortunate side-effect of sidelining women for so long and featuring them in the lead role so infrequently. Our hopes and expectations are so high precisely because we have such limited opportunities. Thankfully, “The Woman Who Fell to Earth” met and even outperformed our expectations. The very few trolls who are still harassing supportive fans were drowned out by the overwhelmingly positive response to Whittaker and her new friends, and the ratings went through the roof. Whittaker has utterly captured the fandom, and more importantly, she’s brought in an entirely new generation of fans.

Nevertheless, you could practically feel the tension about the Doctor being a woman running through the episode. The Doctor herself was notably unbothered by the change, simply asking “Does it suit me?” (God, yes it does). But her final monologue was squarely aimed at the audience:

Because we’re all capable of the most incredible change. We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honor who we’ve been and choose who we want to be next.

This is a final Hail Mary throw to the fans who were still unconvinced. Each Doctor is new and different from the one who came before, building and changing and evolving the character over the decades. This is just another evolution — grounded in the show’s deep history but looking forward and beginning to embrace the character’s full potential. It’s a deliberate choice to embrace the future, instead of remaining stagnant and trapped in the past.

Jodie Whittaker knew the importance of the role she took on, and she performed it brilliantly. It’s always difficult to judge a new Doctor in their first episode, since they are supposed to be a bit unbalanced and chaotic post-regeneration. But even when the Doctor didn’t quite have a grip on who they are, Whittaker was a force to watch, attacking every new scene with an unquenchable energy that was utterly captivating. She captured the Doctor’s earnest, childlike joy just as easily as she assumed the Doctor’s strident anger.

It’s incredible that Whittaker didn’t extensively watch Doctor Who before assuming the role, because there’s echoes of so many previous Doctors in her own performance, from Patrick Troughton’s physical humor to David Tennant’s hectic energy. Between the out-of-commission TARDIS, the big new family, and the cobbled together bits of Earth and alien tech, I was even getting a Pertwee-ish vibe from this story. But the Thirteenth Doctor is clearly stamping out her own personality. When the Third Doctor would’ve tried to escape Earth, she lingered. Where the Tenth Doctor would have gotten carried away, she focused.

The moment I truly fell in love with her was when, frustrated by her inability to get anything done without her sonic screwdriver, she decided to go ahead and build one herself. It’s been alluded to before that the Doctor has made their own sonic, but this is the first time we’ve ever seen them do it onscreen (the last two Doctors had theirs magically supplied by the TARDIS). That sequence, set to Segun Akionla’s gorgeous score, is going to be iconic. This is a Doctor who is going to do things on her terms and build it her own damn self.

But the Doctor can’t do everything on her own, and her new friends show quite a lot of potential. Yaz was given the least attention this episode, but I have a feeling she’s going to be the one to watch. She’s driven, ambitious, and ready to run into danger — perfect companion material. But Yaz is a cop, and she’s used to being in a position of authority in dangerous situations. We’ve already seen her clash with the Thirteenth Doctor over who will be in charge, and I have a feeling that we haven’t seen the end of that conflict.

Ryan was the true heart of this story. He’s earnest and sweet, even if he has his moments of explosive frustration. He’s also curious and open to believing some of the more incredible things that the Doctor says. Together, Yaz and Ryan balance each other perfectly. Yaz pulls Ryan into trying new and dangerous things, and Ryan encourages Yaz to be more open to accepting that the world is a bit wilder than she could’ve possibly imagined.

I’m still warming up to Graham. He had a few comedic moments, and his relationship with Grace was adorable, but on his own he’s a little bit harder to handle. He was prickly with Ryan in a way that was uncomfortable to watch; I actually cringed when he suggested Ryan would blame his mistake granting access to the Stenza on his disability. He’s also more inclined to leave a dangerous situation, which doesn’t make him a natural candidate to be a companion. I'm curious if his character will grow or change at all while traveling with the Doctor.

Representation was a quiet focus of this story. In addition to the first woman Doctor, we had three POC lead characters, a diverse supporting cast, an interracial relationship, a nontraditional family unit, and a character with a disability. And none of these was a huge deal, it was simply reflective of the world in which we — and these fictional characters — inhabit.

Doctor Who has had a mixed record of handling disability, but I was pleasantly surprised by how well Ryan’s dyspraxia was handled. It wasn’t magically caused by aliens and wasn’t miraculously cured by the end of the episode. It wasn’t the key to solving the issue at hand, but it didn’t limit Ryan from being a hero either. It introduced the disability to thousands of viewers without stigma or shame, and since the episode aired the internet has been filled with thrilled responses from people with dyspraxia.

But there was one major failure in this story — Grace’s death.

Of all the Doctor’s new friends, Grace was the most suited to being the Doctor’s companion. She wasn’t afraid to run towards danger — in fact, she loved every moment of it. She kept her eye on the bigger picture and always asked the right questions. And she kept everyone in check, including the Doctor (and that’s no small task). She would’ve loved every moment of adventure in the TARDIS. Instead, she was summarily killed off just as her adventure was getting started.

I was following the conversation on Twitter during the simulcast premiere. While everyone was sad at Grace’s untimely death, the disappointment was particularly pronounced amongst black women. I highly encourage everyone to read Tai Gooden’s review in Hypable and listen to the TARBIS (Time and Relative Blackness in Space) podcast’s response to hear directly from black women and understand why they were so hurt by Grace’s death.

In my mind, Grace’s death is absolutely an example of fridging —a death created for the sole purpose of causing Ryan and Graham grief and propelling their characters forward. Her final words were to encourage Graham not to be afraid without her. Ryan’s YouTube commentary, where he grieves over her death, anchors the beginning and end of the story. And given that Ryan and Graham never got along well on their own, Grace’s death will almost certainly be a recurring theme between them now that they’re trapped in space together. It was such an unnecessary waste of a fascinating and vibrant character. For a story that was so intensely focused on presenting an inclusive and progressive vision of Doctor Who, fridging a black woman in the very first episode was an egregious betrayal.

The one caveat here is that Grace was described in early press releases as a “returning character,” which seems to imply that she will be in future episodes. I suspect that she’ll be seen in flashbacks, or that the TARDIS team will travel back in time and see her at an earlier point in her life (or it was a deliberate misdirection and Grace won’t be seen again). But it is possible that Grace’s death will somehow be reversed. I would appreciate that. However, bringing Grace back to life won’t erase the damage that’s been done. Her death will still have been used to motivate Ryan and Graham. And it will still have been a disappointing moment in what should have been a fresh start for weary fans.

#Doctor Who #The Woman Who Fell To Earth #Jodie Whittaker #Thirteenth Doctor #Series 11 #Reviews

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justfinishedreading · 5 years

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Last month I watched the film A United Kingdom (2016) and realized how little I knew about the history of Botswana. In fact, I realized how little I knew about the history of almost all countries. We’re always so immersed in our own culture that we’re oblivious to the intricate and epic history of others. After the film I thought about a book from my adolescence, a bestseller at the time but one which I’d never got around to reading: The No.1 Ladies’ Detective Agency by Alexander McCall Smith. I ordered a copy that night.

Now Alexander McCall Smith is a white dude, so I’m already failing my newly created goal of trying to read more fiction by authors of colour, however on the plus he does have experience and knowledge of a part of Africa: he was born in Zimbabwe, raised there until the age of 17, and co-founded and taught at the University of Botswana. It is very clear when reading The No.1 Ladies’ Detective Agency that McCall Smith has a love for Botswana, for its people, their mindset and way of living.

The other reason why I wanted to read this book was because I’m a fan of the detective mystery genre, I will forever love Agatha Christie and I’ve recently discovered the solid brilliance of P.D. James, and the cool cleverness of Scandinavian writers. But Africa isn’t very commonly associated with detective fiction which made The No.1 Ladies’ Detective Agency all the more intriguing when it was first published. It isn’t an Agatha Christie novel; there isn’t a big mystery that is solved at the end of the book, instead it follows maybe a dozen small cases, each usually resolved within a few chapters. But like Miss Marple, Philip Marlowe, Inspector Adam Dalgliesh, there is a strong yet vulnerable detective: Mma Ramotswe.

Mma Ramotswe is a black Botswanan woman in her early 30s, she is intelligent and capable. When her father dies and leaves her an inheritance she decides to invest in setting up her own detective agency, with her as its only detective. She is physically described as a large woman; her weight is commented on occasionally throughout the book but always in a positive light. This comes partly from the fact that many African countries are more socially/culturally accepting of the larger female figure. Historically in our own western world there was a time when society viewed thinness in a negative light, that’s not to say they were pro-obesity but a skinny woman was viewed as someone who lived in poverty and starvation, a woman with a fuller figure was seen as someone of wealth and leisure. Certainly, that is not the case now, but it’s interesting to see how society’s concept of beauty changes with the passing of time, and we as individuals should try to reject the idea of one universal standard of beauty, be it thin, fat or the many, many forms inbetween.

Speaking as a larger woman myself, it is such a relief to read a book in which the protagonist is large, clever and proactive, her weight is not something to be used against her. In the western world obesity is the latest “bad habit” to crusade against, once we covered smoking, (and heaven-forbid we tackle alcoholism!) we moved onto obesity. Health problems related to obesity are a real issue and there should be support and ways of prevention set up for those who want it. However there is a culture of body shaming which is not helpful or effective in a positive way. Body shaming only does two things: it makes the shamed feel more unhappy and it’s likely to worsen the problem, and it allows the shamer to feel confident and smug.

There’s controversy over whether plus-size models should be featured in magazines and shown as role models. One side believes this is promoting obesity, it is sending out the message to children, teenagers and adults that it’s okay to be fat, specifically unhealthily fat. That is a dangerous message. I understand what these people are trying to say, but in response I’d say that people who are obese, and others who are fat, and others who are just a little overweight, EXIST in the world, and therefore have a right to be represented in culture and media. The same goes for people with disabilities, and shockingly we’re still not including enough people of colour as well.

Time has already shown that a culture that only represents one idea of the “perfect” body type does NOT help the mental or physical health of that society as a whole. For decades the images of beautiful white woman have bombarded our world and instead of obesity going down, it has gone up. Now there’s various reasons for the rise of obesity; lifestyle, change in leisure activities, work, transport, food etc so I’m not suggesting it’s all down to the “evil” media, but my point is that hiding overweight women from us hasn’t helped prevent obesity and therefore there is no reason to exclude those body types -or any body types- from public view.

Which leads me to my final point on the subject: one way of thinking is that if there’s something about yourself you hate, then you should change it. I think that loving yourself is much more important, and beneficial, in the long run, than focusing on hatred and change. That seems like a very general statement but what it comes down to is that we take care and look after that which we love. If society wants to promote health then we have to promote self-love first. Nobody has ever willingly invested time and effort in looking after something they hate.

But back to The No.1 Ladies’ Detective Agency. Regarding the mysteries Mma Ramotswe has to investigate they aren’t murder mysteries, they are the mysteries of everyday life, e.g. a woman thinks her husband is cheating on her, a father thinks his daughter is dating a boy without his consent, a head doctor at a hospital believes one of his doctors may be a drug addict, another woman thinks her husband has stolen a car. What struck me the most about The No.1 Ladies’ Detective Agency wasn’t the things that Mma Ramotswe had to investigate but the way she investigated them, she’s resourceful and bold, she takes matters into her own hands. It shocked me how little involvement the police had, in a few occasions I thought this would be the time to contact the police! And then I realized how we in the western world are so dependent on our police force for everything, while in some countries like Botswana people might be more inclined to take care of things themselves.

This independence is one of Mma Ramotswe’s most inspiring features, she’s in her 30s but has no intention of marrying (WARNING SPOILERS AHEAD), she married early on and that ended very badly. Part of me wishes she didn’t have to have such a sad backstory; we don’t need to give a character a tragic past in order to be emotionally invest in them. But now I realise that it’s important to show how people overcome past hardships and live past that. Similarly, I disliked how a new potential love-interest was introduced, why can’t Mma Ramotswe stay single? Why MUST she marry? Society is so obsessed with romantic relationships. But then it hit me; that instead of having a strong, clever, independent woman stay single – she is so head-strong of course she will remain unmarried! Thinks the public - it is much more important to see that it’s possible for a man to stand by her side and accept her strength, intelligence and independence, to see him not feel emasculated by it.

(Side note: Unfortunately Homosexuality is still illegal in Botswana so this novel focuses very much on heterosexual relationships). TEXT CORRECTION - I’m happy to amend this, on 11th June 2019 same-sex sexual acts were finally decriminalized in Botswana!

Overall this novel is very good from a feminist point of view, my only criticism, and this may come as a surprise, is that it is very consistently hard on men. It felt like the number of dislikeable men greatly outnumbered those that were respectable. Feminism isn’t about man-hating, it’s about equality, so if I were to read more books from this series I’d like a touch less man-hating and a sprinkle more of women-causing-trouble.

Review by Book Hamster

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summerspn · 5 years

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Charmed (2018)

(Minor spoilers)

I waited a few months, trying to go in this with an open mind. I didn’t google or watch anything about this show since first watching the trailer for the pilot months ago.

Here are my thoughts:

The diversity is great overall. However, I feel like the show is focusing on quantity over quality in that respect. I don’t care if the leads are African American, Latino, Caucasian, Asian, or from Mars. However, the should be able to act! Meaning, have depth / layers.

If any show/movie/or writer is attempting to be diverse, they need to diversify!

While I’m not in show business I hope to publish more stories in the future. So I read whatever I can get my hands on. Books written by Americans, Canadian, British, some from Africa, South America etc. I do this because I’m not only curious but I’m self aware. I want to know what other people do and to gain perspective.

For writers/directors/show runners etc they should watch shows & movies from other countries. British shows are phenomenal in the fact they do everything 100%. The writing feels natural, it’s intelligent, & it flows. The acting is brilliant. Even the people who have 2 lines can act! A couple years ago I watched an old Canadian show (I can’t remember the title) but it was heart wrenching and beautiful. I saw 20 minutes and was in tears...(without knowing who the characters were). The acting was that good. And the cast for many Canadian shows are diverse (though admittedly not ideal), but it feels real. They don’t beat us over the head with it.

- My point is, this 2018 version of Charmed was promoting itself as diverse but that worked for and against itself. Diversity is great but pointing out one’s differences is counterproductive. It’s like saying ‘treat me like everyone else’ and ‘I’m different & unique’ at the same time.

- The CW should have just focused on the actresses/characters being relatable. That’s more about marketing & instructing the actors before they give interviews though.

The special effects are on par with the original Charmed. That’s...not great. 20 years in between the shows. There are better effects out there.

So this tells me the CW was being cheap & didn’t want to pour their money into the special effects. As if the show wasn’t worth it...and if the CW thinks that, I’m not surprised people weren’t happy about the show.

- Also, there are tricks to use less special effects...camera angles etc. From Supernatural (another CW show - the only good one imho) The camera moves around Misha Collins so he can walk out of the frame and poof! Castiel is gone! No special effects required but it still felt real. The CW could do some tricks like that to supplement the budget.

This last episode - the black Smokey demon guys poofed in and out a fair amount. Cool I guess but then the final show down where the sisters slam that staff into the ground and the gate to hell opened, that looked incredibly cheesy. Less poofing earlier = more $ for final showdown special effects. Basic math.

- I actually prefer the original special effects because it was appropriate back then - to the time & technology it was pretty great.

The reboot has constant references to modern technology but it feels like they’re not using modern tech for the special effects.

Female empowerment! Yay! Or rather, what? As a headstrong, independent woman who can hold my own in an argument and that time I got mugged I can honestly say I do NOT support male bashing. Yes there are a lot of rich white men in power that suck but your friends, neighbours, professors, nephews etc have NOTHING to do with that.

This show acts like (well, the way the dialogue is written) every little upset or injustice is because of ‘harassment’ or a rejection of feminism & females. No, one doesn’t have to lead to the other. Your professor is upset with your work or with what you say... it’s possible you’re an idiot. Or maybe you shout the information in a way that’s standoffish which rubs someone the wrong way...

The original Charmed celebrated love. The sisters loved & respected their male friends, brothers-in-law, their father etc. There was an episode where Grams had trouble accepting a male witch into the family but they showed growth & she only felt that way because she was burned by love before. The reboot just tries to create drama where there isn’t any.

Female empowerment is where you feel strong & secure enough to be yourself. To be able to speak your mind, stand up for yourself & be independent. In real life you don’t have to tell people you’re empowered, you just are.

This show distorts that message. Empowerment does not require one to tear down another gender. The sisters from the original Charmed were strong and empowered but they never acted like they were better than anyone else (except demons).

The acting. Oh the acting... so the actors aren’t great. Some are better than others. Unfortunately it’s very distracting and disruptive to the suspension of disbelief. Noticing the poor acting pulls you out of the story so once again people aren’t as invested in the characters or the plot.

The gay characters are fine. I don’t care either way but why the continual reminders? Just BE.

Even on the show Crazy Ex Girlfriend, Daryl’s character is bi and white-Josh (his nickname on the show) is gay. But it’s not annoying and when they talk about it it’s either natural or over the top celebratory. They write it into the show so even the coming out musical number feels authentic. It’s kind of impressive to do that.

- But here on Charmed it’s brought up in a way that feels almost...out of the blue. Difficult to explain but it just doesn’t work. That randomness feels like it was smacking us and going ‘see I’m gay’!

Meanwhile during Crazy Ex girlfriend after 1 episode of Daryl making eyes at White-Josh you root for them. It’s just written so well.

The writing. Sub par. It’s more about the little things but I have predicted the villains a few times.

Whitelighter-that-looks-like-Wesley-from-BTVS-and-Ketch-from-Supernatural...was it necessary to KIDNAP the sisters, bind & confine them to reveal who they are?! And he didn’t get his ass kicked for it?! They were just...okay with it? That’s the first time I felt like they were all idiots. I mean, he could have just...I dunno, had a Conversation with them minus the sketchy kidnapping!

If that had been the OG sisters they’d have been pissed. Prue probably would have sent him flying or hit him with whatever was close by even without her powers.

Most episodes just feel a little...cheesy. So whitelighter (“guardian”) says in an episode ‘you’ll need to use the power of three’. It’s all dramatic and a big show down but it felt cheesy. Looking back I think it was because that actor was probably directed to just act like he was informing them...but because of that it felt like he could care less what happened. It was flat. Plus why did he stand so he was almost pressed against her? Just...awkward.

The actual spells are okay to me and the show has some nice eerie vibes but with the background music, the dialogue and even the title ‘Charmed’ it feels very light. The combo is classic Disney. It’s all fighting against one another.

Another example of minor details which has a big impact. This last episode - cute British guy is like ‘oh!’ And grabs a chair to stop him from being sucked into Hell. Really? That’s gonna do the trick. *sigh* To be fair, the writers go off what the show runners/directors want. So IF they were in a big open room and that was the only thing there, sure grab the chair. However, he was standing next to a door frame!

So I’m guessing the writers either: 1) didn’t know the set design, 2) the powers that be instructed them to ignore that detail, or 3), everyone forgot. Either way it’s sloppy. Not to mention the end result made the whole scene feel very...goofball rather than dramatic.

One of the MOST annoying things about this series is that they throw things in like a checklist. So we talked about...feminism ✔️, LGBTQ ✔️, ethnic minorities ✔️ etc. Seriously CW, you don’t have to squish everything into one episode. It felt too much like name dropping. See, we’re talking about this this and this...see, we’re cool! 😉 it felt so awkward.

If you’re going to go through your checklist at least spread it out. One episode focusing on their long lost sister & new powers. Next episode trouble with being harassed at school, next episode how you navigate your relationship with your girlfriend etc. Everything coming at you while they’re battling a demon is just too much!

The show is entertaining in a way but it was more about seeing if it was going to get better.

After over a decade since the original series ended, the CW still wasn’t prepared for this. Too many issues to like it as anything more than a time filler. Personally I’m not a fan of it and won’t watch anymore.

I also still want the CW to apologize to the original cast & crew for ripping off the show. It won’t make me watch the reboot anymore but it’ll make me feel less guilty for watching my favourite show, Supernatural which is under their control.

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