#need this out of my drafts every time i see it i just hear danny devito saying egg.

[ashley-grahams]

🥚

[rhythm-of-space]

To Be in Clover

notes - another big thank you to @sunfl0wer-power for the header and encouragement. this has been sitting in my drafts for a while so i thought i'd share!

warnings - none! just a night with dad!jake

-

"to be (or to live) in clover", meaning to live a carefree life of ease, comfort, or prosperity.

-

“Daddy!” Your little girl squealed from her booster seat at the dining table. You had received a text from Jake earlier, explaining how the band meeting ran late, that he wouldn't make it for dinner, and how sorry he was. This has started to become a routine lately. You knew what you signed up for when deciding to marry him and start a family, but sometimes it felt like he was a traveling nomad in your shared life. 

You didn't even hear his car pull into the driveway as you were wrestling your 3 year old, Clover, into her seat for dinner. But she did, she always did. It's like she had a sixth sense for when her father was around. Since she was born it was like her and Jake shared a brain. Every little detail about them was the same - their unwavering kindness, their steadfast stubbornness, even down to their mannerisms when they tag-teamed far-reaching, but always entertaining, bedtime stories.

Though you had just tucked her legs into her seat, you knew it wouldn't last long until she whined for you to help her down so she could meet her father at the front door. 

You lifted her out by her underarms and set her down on the floor. Immediately, she was out of your grasp and stumbling to the foyer as quickly as her little legs would let her. You followed behind to catch any blows that were common these days with your high-energy toddler.

You hear the click of the lock, the squeak of the door hinge, and then the excitement from your daughter as Jake walks into the house.

“Hi, Clove!” He lifts her up in the air and then hugs her close to his chest. “How was your day, Honey Bee?” 

Her arms wrap around his neck and her legs around his waist to get closer to him, if that were even possible. “Good. Me and Mommy went to the park to feed the ducks. One of them looked like you! We named him Jacob.” She glances up to meet his eyes as they both giggle, “Mommy took a picture. He's real funny lookin’.” Jake looks over at you with a gasp and wide smile from his daughter’s candid observation. 

“You saying I'm funny lookin’?” 

She shrugs nonchalantly, “Kinda…” That earns her a prod from Jake's fingers to her side, prompting another round of giggles.

When her laughs die down some, he steps towards you and slides Clover onto his hip so he has a free arm to bring you in for an embrace. 

“So, you made it…” you state with a pointed tone.

“I did! I missed my girls!” He says with a kiss on your forehead to try to relieve any tension - though he knows a discussion needs to be had between you two when the little one is put to sleep. You weren't the only one feeling the pull that he’s been causing recently. You both need to find a compromise and make it work - just like you always did. 

He turns his focus back to his daughter, “So guess what, Bee? Uncle Danny and I finally finished that riff we’ve been working on. You know the one?” She nods enthusiastically - you, in fact, did not know what he’s referring to but with their unspoken communication and daddy-daughter moments he always makes time for, sometimes it’s hard for you to keep up, “So, I was thinking of playing it for my harshest critic, if you’re up for it.” Clover immediately wiggles out of his grasp, takes Jake’s hand, and bolts to his music room like her life depended on it. 

“Woah, woah, woah hold on a minute,” they immediately freeze like statues at your abruptness, “Uh, dinner? You know, the food I’ve been preparing. The food that’s probably gone cold?”

“But Mommy, you got it from that one place down the road…” she states, and you see Jake unsuccessfully hold in a laugh, looking up to the ceiling to conceal his grin from Clover. 

“Not the point!” You look to Jake for some help, although you know you're not going to get it from him when it comes to his mini-me. She got her wit from him after all. 

“Pleaseee, Mommy, can we go play?” And that came from Jake, the grown man who is now acting like his own toddler, lips pouting and everything. You shake your head and roll your eyes before you turn your back and head into the kitchen to reheat the food as it looks like dinner will now be eaten in Jake’s music room tonight. 

-

You return, arms full of plates and cutlery, to the most picture-perfect moment. Your partner and daughter sat on the carpeted floor, legs criss-cross, mirroring each other - they look more alike every day that she grows into herself, you think. Guitars are propped on their arms - Jake’s Gibson acoustic pulled off the wall and her mini one, fitted to her tiny hands, which usually hangs right next to his. Despite what her father thinks, she is not some baby prodigy so she has no idea how to even play the guitar, let alone understand the chords Jake repeats back to her. But it’s the way they bond. She likes to watch his fingers glide effortlessly along the strings and hear the pretty sounds created from his movements; she thinks he’s making magic, which you can’t argue with. 

Despite Jake’s constant reassurance, you always feel like you’re interrupting these moments. You know they won’t last forever; when she finds her own interests and doesn't see her mom, dad, and uncles as the lights of her life anymore. Sometimes, when she is curled up in his arms drifting off to sleep, Jake mentions how he wishes she could stay small so he can hold her close to his chest and feel her heartbeat flutter next to his forever. 

Jake’s cursing is what brings you out of your thoughts, “Jacob.” you hear Clover scold - even at just three years old, she’s caught onto the idea of naughty words and will take any opportunity to remind her dad and uncles of their place. You’re still surprised her first word wasn’t ‘fuck’ despite how often it’s used around her. 

You make your way from the doorway to where they’re sitting and put their plates down to their sides. His tattered leather bound journal is laying between them, turned to a page filled with his and Danny’s handwritten notes that look like illegible scribbles of crossed out chord progressions and quick notes only they would understand. You sit next to Jake and he offers a quiet thank you and leans over for a kiss.

As he begins to strum a mixture of chords, you start to shovel food into Clover’s mouth as she's too focused on the show in front of her to do anything other than open her mouth for access and chew. These moments have been too far and few between lately as he’s spent his nights in the studio and returns after Clover is asleep, and you missed them dearly. The simple comfort found in the quiet of Jake’s soft thrum of his instrument, the wind-down and relaxation from the busy day, and the way you get to finally be together, just the three of you, a little family filled with love and warmth. 

A couple minutes pass by before he finishes his rough draft of the new riff and he finally looks up from his notes, always a little apprehensive of showcasing his work. The silence is filled with Clover’s open-mouthed chewing - you’ll let it slide this time - as her eyebrows furrow as if she’s deep in thought. 

After a swallow, she says, “Mmm, I like it… but I think you need to practice more. You should ask Uncle Danny for some help, he’s really good, ya know?” Now it’s your turn to chuckle at her blunt honesty not directed at you this time. 

Jake clicks his tongue and smirks, trying not to take his daughter's comment to heart. “And what do you think, darling?” 

“I think she said all that needed to be said,” joining in on the playful teasing. 

“Oh, is that so?” Jake moves the guitar to the floor and places your half eaten dinner out of the way before pinning your body to the ground and poking the spots he knows are off limits, the ones he found early in your relationship that make you laugh uncontrollably. You feel this tiny bit of weight added and in your haze of laughter you look over Jake’s shoulder to see that Clover has jumped onto his back with her arms wrapped around him, joining in on this impromptu dog-pile. 

In this moment there isn’t anywhere else you would rather be and all you want is to sit in this bliss for as long as you can. The conversation you were going to have with Jake can wait for another day.

-

thanks for reading <33

[theblacksheepcz]

More Rebecha headcanons but this time it’s her relationships with basically everyone

Here is part one btw

oh my god i forgor this in my draft section

um uh let’s start chronologically I think cuz it feels right for meh

So Rebecha and Super Weasel Kid never met, but Rebecha knows about him because of Walk, and SWK doesn’t even know she exists. HOWEVER. If they did meet, they would have this ‘wine aunt and prankster nephew’ dynamic like “yo can I borrow this dangerous thing for a prank?” “take it and leave me alone. (finally something interesting will happen)”

She met Mr. Squarell once in Secrets of Legendaria and they very much relate to each other.

Rebecha hates Irving with every pixel of her being. He hates her too. They can’t be in a single room together without beating the shit out of each other. Anyways that’s why she’s so rebellious and wants to get the fuck out of Gameworks/Gamefuna. Because the workplace is shit.

She gets along very well with Bryce, she listens to his stories from the Cooking Granny series and he taught her a few things about cooking/baking!

Wizarro is her best friend. Bestest friend she ever had. She tells him everything from gossips to personal stuff and he’s always there for her if she needs comfort. He’s too pure for this world T-T oh and also they paint each other’s nails

also she didn’t really talk to the other fighters in Combat Arena X but she had this rivalry with Shinobee and Alley Gator-

Now about Sado…*inhale* so if you’ve known me long enough (or follow my other medias) you probably noticed that I basically invented Sabecha- you see- ITS COMPLICATED THEY HAVE POTENTIAL OK- THEYRE FRENEMIES AND LOVERS- AND- CALM X RECKLESS, REBEL X GOODY-TWO-SHOES, FORBIDDEN LOVE/STARCROSSED LOVEEERS, ON AND OFF RELATIONSHIP?? grumpy x silly. *slaps roof of car* This baby can fit so much angst. And fluff. Ofc. you can read my fics and know what I mean-

And while we’re talking about ships. Chandrelle. basically i headcanon that she was in a polycule with them 👉👈 but she broke up with them, mostly on good terms tho.

There’s Lazarus…she tolerates him. Lazarus doesn’t really know if she dislikes him or not because she always has that deadpan expression and mostly monotone voice so he chooses his words carefully around her. But she’s really chill.

Rebecha somehow befriended Jack, the Sphinx’s servant. They understand each other. And he teases her by calling her Rebecca on purpose. That’s pretty much it. Also Wizarro always shushes him whenever he’s about to say a curse word. Everyone actually. Just because.

Rebecha tried to flirt with the village girl once and only got a death stare in return.

talked to Jay once or twice and dipped.

she was the one that told baby Junior that his dad won’t come back and then he had to be hugged for an hour.

Rust is like a father figure to her. More or less. He gives her headpats. But Rocky is more like a nephew.

She pretends that Dustbowl Danny and The Vurm don’t exist. Take that as you will.

Rebecha views FPP as just acquaintances, but they view her as a friend. Rebecha tells stories or vents to them and FPP gets to do the same (in sign language). Both of them are glad that someone actually listens to them.

She’d find Catarina and she would tell Rebecha to “break up with that clown freak” and Rebecha wouldn’t give a shit

o yea she saw Jeremiah sneaking into the boat, she didn’t think much of it.

ok now Lionel Snill…her feelings about him are complicated. Like she knows that he probably has no idea that his characters are sentient and that Irving basically abuses them but at the same time she resents him. And then in Walk she just facepalms at hearing his story.

[itsdannysworld]

Southern Heat

i wrote this two months ago while stoned out of my mind soooooooo haha have fun reading :)  (tbh its just a rough draft, i promise not all of these will be shitty)

summary; you and jake have a wholesome friends to lovers moment  content warnings: a lil alcohol use but not too much. just a tiny lil bit. cursing? idk idk is that an important cw? oh yeah a kiss or two

Hey y/n, when are you gonna get here? Nashvilles boring without our sunshine

You picked up your phone after hearing it buzz, the message being from Josh. Your best friend who happens to be a famous singer for a famous band that is currently touring. You’ve known him and his brothers (including Danny) ever since they made the big move to Nashville. It all started at a small coffee shop around the corner from your apartment. You had just set down all your stuff after picking up your order from the counter, when the group came in. They just had a vibe about them, one that you were intoxicated by. You watched them on and off as they bought their respective drinks and settled into one of the big couches. Before you knew what you were doing you shut your laptop and walked over to them, it was a rare moment of confidence but once they realized you were coming over to them you knew you couldn’t turn back.  “I just wanted to say y’all have cool vibes, and nice peace sign necklace, I have one just like it.” You said pointing to who you now know as Danny. “Well thank you for the wonderful compliment of our vibes!” The one with the curly hair said dramatically, just before the one with dark hair could respond.  His smile was infectious, something that could easily light up a room.  “You are very welcome!” You said with an equally dramatic tone. Turning to walk away you hear a “Hey, wait! You should come sit with us, we’re not too familiar with the city.” The one with long hair said. He looked almost identical to the one with curly hair. “Oh uh, sure! Gimme a sec,” you went to grab your things, quickly running through every possible scenario of what could happen in your head. What’s the worst that could happen? Making that decision to sit with them was the best decision you had made in awhile, you all became fast friends and you were more than happy to support them in their musical endeavors. You got especially close with Josh and spent most of your time with him, you started to consider him your platonic soulmate. However, being close with him allowed him to find out a huge secret of yours, that you liked his brother. “No fucking way, you like Sam?” He said drunkenly. We went through a whole bottle of wine and he was obviously feeling it. “No dingus, I like Jake.” You blushed putting your hands to your face. The shock on his face freaked you out, but the shock was quickly replaced with one of his signature smiles. “You need to tell him! He’s been crushing on you since forever. It’s getting annoying for everyone to deal with.” You rolled your eyes at the comment.  “I don’t believe you, at all.”  “Too bad, guess you’ll never have Jakey boy”

You read Josh’s text and quickly responded telling him you’d be over in a minute. To say you were nervous was an understatement, you were practically shitting yourself at the thought of seeing Jake. You quickly finished putting all of your jewelry on and saying goodbye to Bonnie, the small dog you had rescued from the shelter last July. Jake was there with you, and it was the last time you had seen him in person. Y’all tried to keep in touch but between his touring schedule and your work schedule, you haven’t talked to him in a few weeks. You walked out the door and quickly started up your car, heading towards their house. You plugged your phone into the aux cable and shuffled your playlist, a mix of Orville Peck and Arctic Monkeys playing through your speakers. You tried to mentally prepare yourself to see them, but seeing as the drive to their house from your apartment was 10 minutes, you didn’t have enough time to get rid of all the anxiety that plagued you. You pulled into their driveway and instantly all of the memories y’all had shared together came flooding back. Danny driving you home from a drunken night at their house, Josh and you having deep talks on the porch at 1am, Sam and you hotboxing your car, and finally Jake and you going to the store to buy god knows what. You were blasting music and had all the windows down, the thick southern heat swarming around you. That night was when you knew deep down that you were in love with him.  You got out of the car and knocked on the door, excited yet nervous to see everyone behind it. “Y/n! It’s so good to see you.” Josh wrapped his arms around you, picking you up and swinging you around a little. “I missed you too Josh” You said with a laugh. You walked further in the house and quickly hugged everyone. Their hugs were top-tier, something you definitely missed when they went on tour. It was finally Jake’s turn to hug you, and it was the warmest one of them all. “I missed you y/n, I’m sorry for not texting you more.” “I missed you too Jake, and truly don’t worry about it, I understand your busy rockstar schedule.” You said as you roll your eyes, faking annoyance. “You know, if I had the chance to talk to you all day while I was on tour, I would’ve taken it.” What he said took you by surprise, was he trying to be romantic or was it fully platonic? You struggled to find words, but finally landed on “I would have come if you had asked.” Finally you looked around the two of you, realizing that everyone has migrated to the kitchen. He must’ve noticed too as he motioned for you to go in front of him towards everyone. When you walked into the kitchen everyone was standing around the island talking. There were a couple more people there, mainly friends with some family mixed in. You went with Jake towards the fridge knowing they would probably have some cheap beer, you weren’t in the mood for anything stronger. “So, how’s it been while touring?” You said as he handed you beer. “It’s been good, it’s kind of weird coming back and not having much to do. It’s good seeing everyone here though, I missed being around people that aren’t my brothers or the crew.” You nodded. While he was talking y’all had ended up sitting on the porch. He started to share stories about the tour, most of which seemed unbelievable. After talking for a few hours (and many drinks later) the conversation had taken a turn towards relationships.  “There’s no way you didn’t find anyone while on tour? You went all over the world! Plus you’re a rockstar, so it’s probably easy for you to get a girl.”  “Nope, didn’t want any of them. Don’t get me wrong, there were many girls that wanted me, but none caught my eye” He said with a cocky grin. “You seeing anyone?” You shook your head no. You didn’t want to see anyone unless they were him, but there was no way that was going to happen. “Why not?” “None caught my eye I guess.” You said repeating what he said earlier.  “I guess there is one person who I kind of think is cool. In a relationship way.” The words tumbled out of your mouth before thinking about them. You had many worries about how this could play out, but alcohol is considered liquid courage for a reason. “Really? Well now you gotta tell me.” You froze, you knew he was going to ask it, but the small amount of confidence you had faded quickly, and you suddenly realized the full consequences that could come with this. He may never want to be friends again. He may feel the same. Our friendship may be awkward because of this. Will I lose everyone if he rejects me? “Well don’t pussy out on me now Y/n” He said with a laugh. “Nevermind, they don’t matter.” “You don’t get to back out that easily. Tell me who it is?” The s in “is” was drawn out. You shook your head. “C’mon y/n! You can’t just not tell me now. I’ll tell you who I like!”  “Deal, but close your eyes.” He looked at you weird but then agreed, shutting his eyes.  “I’m so sorry if I ruin things by doing this.” You said as you leaned in and gently pecked his lips. His eyes shot open and you immediately push yourself back, saying as many apologies as you could. He pulled you back in and gave you a much more passionate kiss, one that was much needed. Your worries faded away. When y’all finally separated you heard whoops and hollers from the kitchen. Your face flushed pink but despite the audience you went back for one more kiss.

I’m glad I didn’t pussy out 

[stridingseer]

cant say i have any specific asks about inception ships but i am more than happy to hear you talk about rarepairs because there is simply not enough content here <3

Okay this uh, admittedly might get long (I am going to do this in point form for the sheer rambles). Very Long Thoughts Under the cut!!

Eames/Robert Fischer

One thing that keeps on swinging around to me every time I write them or read about them is this one constant theme, aka the idea of Identity.

Who is Robert supposed to be after the inception? How does he reconcile with breaking up his inheritance? Who is he outside of his father? Who is he besides being the son of Maurice Fischer?

For Eames, it's a bit funkier but Eames is a forger. His identity is anything that the job needs him to be. But then, who is he really? Is he a combination of his forges? Yes he plays a role for the others but what are his thoughts about it?

(I recently got a reply back from another writer for this ship that pointed out that Eames got to deal with the psychological aspect of the inception and I can't help but wonder: how does he feel about having to do this to Fischer in the first place?)

What happens post canon between these two is SUCH an oasis for writing ideas. Have them meet years later at a bar! Maybe Robert chooses to break up his empire and then go AWOL before running into Eames (maybe Eames steals his wallet for the THIRD FUCKING time, admittedly it'd be funny)

Similarly: what did Eames see at Fischer-Marrow while he was there? The two of them probably did meet which means the first meeting is one of infinite possibilities. I just love the idea of Eames introducing himself, calls Robert by Fischer, and then Robert corrects him to use his first name. (names as intimacy and trust!! NAMES AS INTIMACY AND TRUST)

I do have this headcanon that Eames also has like similar-esque issues as Robert which is why he's the one who more or less starts digging in from the angle of the father-son relationship. In a way it's him getting his own catharsis when Robert gets his but again, it can get really messy. It's also why he keeps on bringing it up. Anyways they both have family issues and they're foils your honor.

Would like to thank This Fic for getting me into the pairing though there are som Very Good Ones in the tag. I love them all dearly.

Anyways I have a cannibal + shapeshifter roadtrip fic in my drafts and it's actually an exploration on identity. And also a second person fic from Robert's POV that tackles his relationship w/ his father like my relationship with both of my parents. Consider it an alternative reading of sorts

Arthur/Dom Cobb

Basically they're inception's reasonable right hand man/mastermind who has Big Ideas (aka Rusty and Danny from Ocean's 11 though admittedly their dynamic is way different)

Read them as exes who can't leave each other alone and it suddenly becomes quite funny to watch the movie in that way. Cuz then it makes Arthur's constant :/ funnier but he's STILL hanging around.

I like the idea of the two of them living together to take care of Cobb's kids at the end of inception! Arthur comes to visit and ends up staying way longer. They are now common in laws.

And given his logical brain, if any of the kids needs him w/ history or math or geography, Arthur is There because his whole job

One thing that does rotate in my head is just the sheer loyalty that Arthur has for Cobb? Like the Fischer job goes wrong on the first layer in and he, like Eames, can say that he can voice that he's walking off the job. The Thing is his choice to Not to. Tiny thing but it speaks volumes. Also if they go to hotels, these two basically live together even on the job.

So Arthur 100% knew Mal which means that I imagine that it's Cobb who first dragged him into dreamsharing. I just like the idea of the three of them testing limits and whatnot (it's very Ocean's 11 in its parallels but it also gives more depth and food to think about. Of course Mal and Cobb get married and Arthur is not bitter about it, not at all)

I also raise you the idea of Eames calling Arthur a 'nanny' for watching over Cobb's kids. And then Eames gets called 'gold digger' for getting with Robert. Neither of them are wrong about it technically but it could be that it's a fun in joke/dig at each other.

MORE FICS ABOUT THEIR FIRST EXTRACTIONS TOGETHER AND WHATNOT!! There is so much food for thought about how they managed to find their place in their extraction world.

On a similar note: their first adventures in the dreamscape. Basically the question of 'how many times has Cobb shot Arthur to wake him up'.

[ecto-american]

Prom Season

Phic Phight Oneshot for Rikaleeta and ghostgothgeek: As Prom draws nearer, Danny finds that he has competition in asking Sam to prom. Danny/Sam

Read on AO3 and FFN

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"Dude, you're staring again," Tucker nudged him. Danny blinked, snapping out of his daze, and he stood up straight, tapping his fingers anxiously on the counter.

"Sorry, dude, it's just. What the hell would Dale want with Sam?" he scowled.

The jock was standing near Sam, the two chatting idly by Sam's favorite part of the comics store, the vinyl section. Sam was smiling, nodding and agreeing with whatever Dale was talking to her about.

"Dale's been eying Valerie lately, maybe he's asking Sam about her?" Tucker suggested. He smiled politely at a customer who came into his line, promptly beginning to check them out. "Even so, why do you care? Sammy's a big girl."

"Prom season's coming up, somebody might ask her," Danny argued lightly.

"And why's that matter?" Tucker asked. In no time at all, the customer had paid and left, and the two were left standing in the mostly empty comics store.

"Dude, you know guys!" Danny grumbled, throwing his hands up as if it was obvious. "They only want one thing, especially after prom! You should know. Don't you and Star plan on finally doing it after prom?"

"Probably, but mostly because we've already been doing it," Tucker shrugged. Danny choked on nothing.

"Wait, what? How come you didn't tell me!?" Danny asked. Tucker opened his mouth to reply, only to jerk his head to Sam.

Dale had left the store seemingly, and Sam was already at the counter, clutching a new vinyl. Danny chuckled.

"This is why we can't visit Tucker at work, you'll always end up with something," he teased her. She rolled her eyes.

"But Tucker works here now, so he'll be sweet and let me use his employee discount?" she half-asked hopefully, staring at Tucker with a bright smile. He sighed, and he entered his employee discount code as he rang her up. "Thank you!"

"Anytime," he assured her. He handed her her bag. "So did Dale ask you to prom?" Sam snorted in amusement.

"Oh hell no," she replied. "He wanted to know if anybody had asked Valerie, and if I thought his plan to ask her would go over well."

Tucker sent Danny a sideways "I told you so" smirk, and Danny made an annoyed grumble.

"Either way, you ready to drag me to Hot Topic?" Danny asked.

"Only every day," Sam said. She turned to Tucker. "You close tonight, right? Do you want us to swing by and take you home?" Tucker shook his head no.

"Nah, it's okay!" he assured her. "I have my uncle's old car now, remember?" Sam lit up a bit.

"Oh yeah! Well, just drive careful!"

Tucker waved her off with a grin.

"Don't worry about me. You two lovebirds have fun," he teased. "But not too much fun."

Danny could feel his cheeks burn. A glance at Sam, and he could see her own face flushing some. However, she rolled her eyes and jokingly flipped Tucker off, getting one in response as they walked out and into the mall.

"Do you want me to carry your bag?" Danny offered, holding his hand out.

"Sure!" Sam agreed, and she handed it over. "Have you thought about the piercing? I'll buy you one if you're going for it."

"Eh, I'm still trying to figure out how badly my mom would flip if she saw that I got my nose pierced, and if it'd be worth it lecture," Danny shrugged.

"You should totally do it, then deflect it by coming out as Danny Phantom," she joked. Danny snorted. "Come on, we could match!" Sam had gotten her left nostril pierced almost a year ago, currently occupied by a tiny black skull, as well as four total piercings per ear. As expected, her mom nearly lost it over the nose charm. She poked his nose. "You could get a little white ghost charm." He couldn't help but smile.

"Now you're tempting me to risk it," he admitted.

He gestured to the Hot Topic, and Sam went inside first, him right behind her. She went right for the piercings display, looking. After a moment, she tapped on the case, looking over her shoulder for Danny.

"See? Right there, you could get that cute little silver ghost," she told him. Danny peeked over her shoulder. She pointed at another charm, one in the shape of a laptop. "Oh! And Tucker could get that one! We could all kinda match!"

"Pretty sure Tucker's mom would actually kill him if he came home with another piercing," Danny replied. Sam had already convinced Tucker of getting his ears pierced, and his mom was Very Unhappy about it. "Just like my mom would kill me if I came home with a nose piercing."

"You're already half dead though," Sam pointed out. Danny gave a half shrug and smile.

"Got me there. Alright, I'll get it," he said. Sam grinned widely, going to the counter to immediately ask for an employee to retrieve it.

They only browsed a bit more before they finally left. No sooner were they out the door…

"Sam!" a familiar voice called out excitedly. The not-lovebirds glanced over to see Paulina and Elliot coming up to them, Paulina a few steps ahead as she excitedly half-jogged over to Sam. Elliot was carrying two Starbucks cups, taking his time following. Paulina threw her arms around Sam, hugging her tightly, the goth only giving a half smile and lightly patting her back. "If I knew you were coming to the mall, I would have invited you to get your nails done with us! Look, Elliot and I match!"

Paulina pulled away to show off white nails with pink details.

"Oh they look nice!" Sam complimented. "It's okay though. Coming today was kinda a last minute thing." Or rather, they decided to hang out here after catching the Box Ghost, who was making himself home in one of the new stores that hadn't quite opened yet.

"You got me Starbucks?" Danny joked as Elliot finally came close enough to properly hear him. Elliot rolled his eyes. "How sweet."

"If you wanna give me the four dollars it costs, sure," he joked back. He handed Paulina the clear pink drink, and she took a long sip from it. Danny noticed that he did kinda match her, with black nails and matching details, only in a pastel blue.

"What are you guys up to?" Paulina asked. "We were just about to see if Macy's had any cute prom dresses out yet." The mentioning of prom made Danny's stomach feel a bit weirdly queasy.

"We're gonna go get Danny's nose pierced!" Sam replied, pointing to his nose. Danny snapped out of the feeling.

"Wait, what? We're doing that today?" he asked. Sam grinned.

"You're eighteen, they'll let you!" she replied. She reached into the Hot Topic bag to pull out the piercing. "I gotta make you put it on before you change your mind." Oh, a bit too late already.

"Ooh, that's a lot more interesting than prom dresses!" Elliot mused. "I can drive us." He put his free hand to his ear. "I've been thinking about getting another piercing anyway." Paulina hummed thoughtfully.

"Spike should be working today, so I might see if he has my new tattoo design ready," Sam mused.

Another thing that her mom, if she were to ever find out, would flip out over. Sam already had two that her family were oblivious to. Danny knew that she had a spider on a web on her ribcage; he had held her hand while she got that one done (and nearly ended up with a broken hand). The other was a black and deep purple rose and vine on her thigh, which he had only seen right after she had gotten it. Jazz, out of everybody, had gone with her to get it, and even came back with a tattoo herself. Though Jazz, like a nerd, had opted for a book tattoo. Danny had never seen it before outside of the photo Jazz took of it, but knew that it was on her ribcage and something Spike gave her as an anniversary present.

"I guess that settles it!" Elliot grinned. "Let's go to the tattoo and piercing shop!"

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After somehow surviving Elliot's crappy little car, only somewhat affectionately called "the shitbox", they were huddled in the waiting room area of the shop. Paulina, already filling out the usual safety and health and consent forms, was standing and staring at the wall of previous art done.

"You gonna get a tattoo instead?" Elliot teased her as he handed the receptionist his own filled paperwork. Paulina shot him a smile, but still slapped his shoulder.

"Papa would kill me," she insisted.

"So? Get it where nobody will see," Elliot replied. Paulina playfully slapped him again.

Danny rolled his eyes, continuing to fill out his form as he drafted all the excuses he'd have to give his mom when she inevitably chewed his ass out when he got home. Whelp, he was already bound to be grounded sooner or later cause of the ghosts. Might as well spice up the grounding reasoning once in a while.

Sam appeared from the back, clutching a piece of paper up. Spike was behind her. Sam made a beeline for Danny.

"Dude, look at how nice it is!" she told him, holding it out for him to see. Danny glanced up. It was a skull with flowers growing out of it.

"Oh, that's sick," he commented.

"I know, right?" Sam grinned. Danny smiled, returning his attention to the paperwork.

"So you wanna get that this Saturday?" Spike spoke up.

"Uh, Danny are you free Saturday?" Sam asked. Danny glanced up at her, raising an eyebrow.

"After today I'll probably be grounded," he joked, signing his name for the last time on the forms. Sam chuckled.

"True," she replied. "Hmm, ah whatever. I can tough it out." Danny quickly looked up again as it suddenly hit him why he needed to be free. Sam had already turned to Spike. "Yeah, let's go for Saturday."

"Oh, if you want somebody around, I can come," Elliot popped up.

"That'd be awesome!" Sam grinned. "This one's going on my back, so it's supposed to hurt."

"Well, you can break my hand, I don't care," Elliot assured her. Danny's chest squeezed a bit as he felt a hot flash hit him.

"No it's okay, I can just sneak out!" he said immediately. Sam glanced at him.

"Nah, it's okay. I don't wanna get you into anymore trouble," she assured him.

"I don't care," Danny quickly blurted out. Spike chuckled.

"Man, Mrs. Fenton's scary when she's pissed, your best bet is to just obey her," Spike told him. He nodded at Danny. "Did Jazz tell you about how she nearly got into a fistfight at the bridal shop a few days ago?"

"No?" Danny raised an eyebrow. "What happened?"

"Basically when Jazz went in for her dress fitting, she had apparently gained a little bit of stress weight since the last fitting, cause she's been driving herself insane over grad school applications," Spike explained. Danny nodded understandingly. "and the lady fitting her dress kind of gushed over it cause she thought Jazz got pregnant. It made her cry, and man. Mrs. Fenton went off on her, and apparently nearly began throwing hands with the manager."

"Oh man, poor Jazz," Sam said somberly. Danny couldn't agree more as he gave a low short whistle at the audacity. Between graduating early, grad school applications, and getting married, he had never seen Jazz look so stressed out. "Why don't you guys push the wedding back a bit?"

"She'll get more money from FASFA and scholarships, plus better housing, if we get married sooner, and she doesn't wanna just elope and have a party later," Spike shook his head a bit. "But uh, either way though, I got some numbing cream for ya Sam if you're worried about pain." Spike shot Danny a reassuring smile and a wink. He felt a little better. Sam sighed with relief.

"Please," she confessed. "It's not too bad when Danny's here, but if I'm alone I know I'm going to get a little anxious."

"Aw come on, I'm not reassuring?" Elliot teased. To Danny's relief, Sam also playfully slapped Elliot on his shoulder.

"Are you kidding me? You'd probably actually ruin my tattoo by making me laugh the entire time," she told him. Danny's heart squeezed again, and he got up to silently hand the receptionist the forms.

"I think I might get a tattoo," Paulina finally spoke up. Elliot's interest was immediately piqued.

"Oh?" he asked. Paulina nodded, pointing to a tattoo on the wall, a pretty collection of flowers.

"This is sooo pretty, I think I'd get something like this," she said. Sam glanced at it.

"That'd be like, what? Four hundred-ish dollars, Spike?" she guessed. Spike glanced at the reference photo and nodded.

"Yeah, give or take," he replied. Paulina made a face.

"Maybe one day in the future," she decided. "I need money for a prom dress." Sam waved a hand.

"Prom dresses are temporary, tattoos are forever!" she told her. Paulina made a noise of disinterest, and Sam shrugged.

"Danny, did you wanna go first?" the receptionist asked as she glanced at the three stacks of piercing requests.

Danny coughed a bit nervously. He glanced at Sam, and he nodded.

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"Thanks again, Spike!" Sam beamed. Spike smiled fondly at her, offering her a hug. She gladly accepted it.

"Anything for my favorite future sister-in-law," he teased. Sam's face instantly burned. Danny scoffed as he lightly touched his new piercing anxiously.

"Sam isn't related to us, dude," he told Spike. Spike gave him a weird look, then shook his head.

"You're lucky you know how to do math, man," he told him. "Also let me know if Mrs. Fenton kills you." Danny gave a nod.

"Don't worry, you'd be invited to the funeral," he joked. Spike chuckled. "Also I give you permission to tattoo my corpse before they put me down."

"Sick," Spike grinned. "I'll give you some of those lil blob ghosts the float around."

Elliot and Paulina were chatting a mile a minute outside the shop. When the not-lovebirds came out, Paulina immediately pushed her hair behind her ear to show off her new helix piercings. Danny could already see Elliot's singular orbital piercing.

"Look! I feel so punk!" Paulina gushed. Sam snorted in amusement.

"Girl, I'm gonna have to get you into a lot more black and leather before you're anywhere near punk," she teased. Paulina giggled.

"Maybe some leather pants," she mused. She shrugged. "Anywho! Elliot and I were gonna go look at the prom dresses! Wanna tag along?"

"Yeah, sounds fun!" Danny agreed.

"Yeah! I still need to get mine," Sam agreed. "I really want your opinion on a dress anyway," she said to Paulina. "Cause you know I'm going to customize mine no matter what I get."

"Yeah, I might ask you to do the same to mine, like help me tailor something if needed," Paulina mused. "I need my dress to be absolutely perfect. But we need to make another Starbucks run."

"Really?" Elliot raised an eyebrow at her. "Boo, this is your third trip today." Paulina pouted cutely at him. He playfully chuckled. "Alright, alright. I kinda want another iced coffee anyway."

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"So, has Elliot talked to you about it yet?" Paulina asked, taking a long sip of her drink as they waited near the door to the popular coffee chain. Danny made a confused "hm?" noise as he took a sip of his own. "That he wanted to ask Sam to prom?"

Danny's heart stopped, and he instantly returned his attention back to the pair of goths. They were customizing their Starbucks drink at the counter, smiling happily and chatting casually about something he couldn't heart.

God, of course! Fuck, he was so focused on every other dude that he forgot that Elliot wasn't gay. God damn it, and Sam would potentially actually say yes to him too.

"Uh. Um. I-uh." Danny coughed into his elbow as he tried to think of some way to respond that sounded normal. "No, he, um. Hasn't said anything to me yet." Nice response, Fenton.

"Oh, well, be prepared I guess," Paulina replied, taking a sip of her fancy-looking pink drink in the clear plastic cup.

Danny took a huge gulp of his coffee as he tried to process it. Fuck, fuck, fuck. He needed to think of how to reply to Elliot if the guy were to actually confront him or talk to him about it. His gut twisted. How was he supposed to reply? Elliot didn't deserve to go out with his Sam. What the fuck was that moron thinking? They were just friends.

"You guys ready?" Elliot glanced over his shoulder at them.

"Yup!" Paulina chirped. Elliot walked over with them, Sam quickly behind.

"You got your hourly Starbucks?" Elliot teased her.

"Mhm!" she hummed.

"You almost need to start working at Starbucks," Elliot told her.

"But then I'd just spend the whole paycheck on Starbucks," Paulina playfully protested.

"Fair, fair," Elliot hummed.

They exited, and they all piled into Elliot's car. Danny and Sam in the back, Paulina in her normal position in the passenger's seat.

"Do you know what kind of dress you're looking for?" Paulina asked as Elliot pulled out of the parking lot. Sam nodded.

"Yeah, definitely something black or purple," she said. "I'm really into long dresses lately, so probably a long dress, but I dunno! Short dresses are cute too."

"Oh short dresses are sooo in right now," Paulina agreed. "I want a short dress! Definitely pink, I want a really cute pastel pink maybe? But any shade of pink, I think it looks best on me."

"Hmm, yeah but greens look really good on you too," Elliot spoke up. "Like pastel and light greens?"

"They do but it's prom so I really want something pink," Paulina replied.

"Hmm, I think I look good in purple and black," Sam mused. "What do I look good in Danny?"

"Purple, black, red, and green, but like? An ecto green if that makes sense?" Danny said. Sam thought about it.

"Yeah, I really do like ecto green," she agreed. She shot him a sly smile. "Reminds me of Danny Phantom. And well. Ya know. I think he's really cute." Danny flushed, shyly smiling back.

"Ugh he's sooo cute," Paulina gushed. "His eyes are the most beautiful shade of green I've ever seen. Elliot, why are your eyes so dark." Elliot chuckled.

"Cause both of my parents have dark green eyes," he replied. Paulina huffed.

"I think that was rude of you. You should have bright green eyes like the ghost boy," she said.

"Yeah, it's pretty rude," Elliot agreed. "I'll fix that tomorrow."

"Do you actually think Danny Phantom's cute?" Danny asked Sam. She smiled, giving a half-shrug.

"Absolutely one of the cutest guys I've ever seen," she confirmed.

Danny took a long drink of his coffee, hoping that chugging some of it would help explain why his cheeks were beginning to burn.

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"Oh, this is sooo your color!"

"Oh my god! I love it! Do they have it in my size?"

"Hmm, um, lemme see...yeah! They do! Here!"

"Ugh I cannot wait to try it on! Oh! Oh look! Look at these sleeves, it's like a princess dress! I'm going to grab one to try it on."

"Ooo, that's going to look so good on you. Hm, I think I might try on that one too, cause it comes in dark purple and those sleeves kinda look witchy...Danny what do you think?"

Danny snapped out of his zoning out to look at Sam. The goth was holding up a short dress with long, flowy sleeves. It was a mid-dark purple and plain, though he had no doubt that Sam would likely customize it to her liking. She did that a lot with clothes.

"Yeah, looks good," he said neutrally.

"Oh, that'll look so good with your bat heels!" Elliot pipped up. Danny nearly forgot that the dude was sitting with him on what was dubbed the boyfriend bench near the dressing rooms. "Especially if you wear a corset over the midsection. Like if you found a purple version of that red one you have, with the black lace over it."

"Oo, that would potentially look so cute," Sam mused. She put the dress over her arm on top of two others. "I'm gonna go try these on."

"Oh, I should too," Paulina mused. Unlike Sam, her arms were overflowing with four, five? Danny counted at least ten different potential dresses if he went by the different looking fabrics alone.

"Yeah, you need to narrow some down," Sam told her.

"They're all just so pretty!" Paulina complained. "I wanna wear them all!"

"Well, let's just eliminate some," she suggested.

The girls went off to the dressing room, and Danny leaned back against the boyfriend bench. He pulled his phone out, and he replied to a message from Tucker and another from his mom. Man, was he not ready to face her later.

"So, Sam huh."

Danny glanced at Elliot.

"Uh, yeah. She's great," Danny replied shortly.

"She is, she is," he agreed with a slight hum. Elliot shifted to rest his elbows on his knees. "Ya know I was thinking about asking her to prom." Danny felt a lump stick in his throat.

"Really?" was all he could think to reply.

"Yeah!" Elliot smiled. "I mean, yeah. I wasn't the best dudes four years ago, but I feel a lot better about myself, ya know? I think I finally know who I am now, and I still really like Sam. She's funny, smart, really pretty. Love hanging out with her. Kinda wondering if she feels the same, and if she'd be down to go with me. What do you think?"

Danny bit his tongue to avoid an unnecessarily harsh reply, but he did get anger. How dare he. After all the lies he told Sam, and the way he lied and manipulated her. Sam deserved better than that.

"I um. I don't think you should go for it," Danny said hesitantly. Elliot raised a curious eyebrow.

"Why, did she tell you something?" he asked. "Or did somebody else ask her?"

"Um. Well, not exactly," he hesitated. Danny bit his lower lip. "I mean, I know she likes you. As a friend!" he quickly added. "But uh, I dunno man. Just don't think it's a good idea."

"What do you mean, is somebody else going to ask her?" Elliot asked.

"Why does it matter?" Danny nearly snapped. "You asked me what I thought, and I said it."

Elliot snickered in amusement, rolling his eyes. It only served to irritate Danny even more. Foreign phony. God, why did they even hang out with Elliot? Paulina and Elliot made sense, cause they were both huge prep kids and did cheerleading and soccer respectively, making them both jocks. But why did he have to hang out with Elliot. Well, because Sam and Paulina were friends now, and that meant that Danny also had to be friends with Paulina's friends. Of fucking course.

"What's so funny?" he demanded to know.

"I think I get why," Elliot smirked.

"What do you mean?" Danny questioned. Elliot just shook his head. Danny opened his mouth to question again.

"Hey! Whatcha think?"

Danny shut his mouth as Paulina bounce out in her first dress option. It was a bright pink dress that came to her knees, the skirt incredibly puffy and reminding Danny of a ballerina tutu, with inch wide straps.

"Oh, it looks so good on you boo," Elliot cooed to her. Paulina beamed, twirreling. "But that may also just be you, you look fabulous in everything." Paulina put her hands over her chest.

"Thank you," she gushed. "Can you take my photo? I wanna compare all the dresses I wear."

"Of course," Elliot agreed, pulling his phone out. He snapped a photo of her.

"Oh Sam!" Paulina squealed.

Danny noticed the goth coming out in a fully black dress that also came only to her knees, with a much slimmer skirt and short sleeves. It looked fairly plain, but man. Sam still made it look great. Danny was glad he was sitting, because he knew he was weak kneed.

Sam was smiling brightly, giving Paulina a light wave.

"I take it you like it?" Sam questioned, doing a quick turn around.

"Girl you always look so good in black," Paulina praised.

"She's sooo right," Elliot agreed. "It just looks so good on you, no matter what. Just." Elliot made a chef kiss motion. Sam flushed a light pink, and Danny glared at him. Dude, shut up. "No wonder you're goth. You were just made for black."

"I dunno, I think you're exaggerating," she replied. Sam glanced down at her outfit. "I mean, it's fairly simple. What do you think, Danny?"

Danny swallowed hard.

"Oh uh, I think it looks great!" he said, smiling brightly. Sam returned it. "I mean like. It's kinda? Plain but I know you'd make it something great. You always do." Sam hummed.

"Mm yeah. It's pretty plain, but I dunno if I wanna put in the amount of work it'd take to make this dress really poppin'," she mused. "I'm gonna go try another one on."

The two girls went back to the dressing room, and Danny could hear their lighthearted conversation. Soon as they turned the corner, he spoke up.

"What do you mean?" Danny demanded to know. Elliot snorted.

"Bro, just admit that you like her, and that you don't want me to take her to prom," he said.

"Where on earth would you get that idea!?" Danny scowled. Elliot rolled his eyes.

"Dude, you've been crazy about her since like, what? Ninth grade at the earliest? Paulina says you two have been making googly eyes at each other since like third grade," he said. Danny felt his cheeks flush. It had not been since the third grade. Had it?

"It's not like that," he insisted. "I just, you know. Really love and worry about her, she's my best friend."

"Best friends don't get worked up like this, this much, over a mutual friend asking them out."

Danny just glared at Elliot before rubbing his face with the palms of his hands. He took a deep breath, exhaling hard.

"How's it look?" Sam's voice asked. Danny glanced up, and his heart just absolutely flipped.

She looked amazing. Beautiful. Stunning. Like a plant goddess, a model, an angel. He felt like there wasn't a flaw to be found, and he had never seen somebody look more enchanting. Her dress made her look even more divine, emphasising and showing off the best parts of her. The purple matching her eyes, the dress fitting her absolutely perfect as it flowed almost to the floor and the strapless feature making her hair flow smoothly over her shoulders. This dress was perfect for her.

But none of those descriptors came out. Instead all he could do is nervously swallow, tongue tied as he felt his cheeks burn up. He struggled to pick just one of those adjectives, and his brain settled for just saying nothing at all and simply staring at her instead.

"Oh, you just look so lovely!" Elliot spoke up. He stood up, going over to walk around her. "It fits you perfect, like it hugs your hips just right and really shows off your-"

"Pretty!" Danny suddenly half-yelled. The group looked at him oddly, and he felt his face flush harder. "It makes you look pretty!"

"Thank you," Sam replied, pausing a bit as she raised an eyebrow at him.

"...Uh, yeah. Um, yes!" Elliot clasped his hands together. "Just stunning. I love this purple on you, it's such a beautiful color. This dress specifically was made for you."

"Dude, chill," Danny grumbled. Sam gave him a Look, and he flinched.

"Danny, can I talk to you for a moment?" Sam asked through gritted teeth.

He had no opportunity to respond, as she grabbed his arm, painfully hard owwie, and began to drag him away, towards another boyfriend bench near a jewelry display counter and out of earshot.

"What's going on?" Sam demanded to know. She finally let go of his arm, and he huffed for a moment. Instead of responding, he put his hands behind his head, pacing back and forth. She quickly grew impatient. "Well? Say something!"

"Elliot wants to ask you to prom!" he blurted out, letting his hands fall. Sam blinked.

"He does?" she asked, sounding clearly surprised and...not angry. Sam smiled a little. "Really?"

"Oh don't tell me you're gonna actually take that foreign phony up on the offer!" Danny snapped. Sam instantly glared at him, crossing her arms.

"Elliot's our friend, dude," Sam reminded him. "Why do you care?"

"B-b-because!" Danny's arms were moving wildly as he talked. "He lied to you for months, and you're just going to ignore all that!"

"That was years ago, and he apologized," she said. "He's more than made up for it. And he's a super sweet guy. I like him."

"You like him!?" Danny nearly shouted. Sam slapped his upper shoulder with the back of her hand.

"Calm down and lower your voice," she told him. "And well, yeah. As a friend. Maybe I kinda like him more than that too."

"What the fuck, Sam!?" Danny, in fact, did not lower his voice. He dry-heaved for a few seconds, briefly making Sam start to watch him worriedly. Finally, he took a deep breath, and he returned to a normal inside voice. "What does he have that I don't?"

She went from worried to a blank stare.

"Apparently liking me enough to say or do something, especially when I've dropped so many hints or made moves myself," she replied. She brushed past him and left, returning to their friends.

Danny found himself taking a seat on the bench as he tried to collect his thoughts and the wide range of emotions that accompanied them. He put his head in his hands, rubbing his face. God he was so fucking stupid.

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"And it's just! Why him! Why Elliot?" Danny continued to vent after spilling the whole story. Jazz gave a small hum of acknowledgement as she finished writing another name out on the envelope. She set it aside for Danny. "I've liked Sam for so long, and I thought she liked me too."

"You're an idiot," Jazz immediately concluded. Danny glared at her as he folded another wedding invite, slipping it into an already addressed envelope before putting the sticker on the back to keep it sealed shut, and a stamp on the other side. Both were sitting on the floor of the apartment she shared with Spike, with each sibling on the opposite side of the coffee table, with Jazz resting her back against the couch and Danny sitting within reaching distance of their TV.

"Hey!" he protested. Jazz gave him a Look, grabbing another envelope.

"I mean it. She does like you, and she has for a while," she told him. She began to write out another address. "You just always never responded. You pushed her off in favor of another girl or because of some weird commitment issue that you seem to have going on. So be honest with me, and yourself. What's the problem?"

Danny silently folded two more invites, repeating the process of putting them in addressed envelopes and putting the sticker and stamp on.

"...I'm scared," he finally admitted.

"What of?" Jazz asked, not looking up from her activity. Danny had to really think. He casually tossed the finished wedding invite into the 'finished' basket.

"I guess just...it not working out. What if it doesn't work out? What if it drives us apart, and we lose each other?"

"You won't know that until you try," Jazz replied.

"She might also reject me, cause of the same mentality. What if she still likes Elliot more, and-"

"Danny," Jazz interrupted. She finally looked up from writing. "You will never know what the future will and won't hold. Just talk to her, and let her be part of the choice rather than blowing it all off due to fear."

He thought about it, and he gave a small sigh.

"Yeah...I think she's kinda pissed that I haven't been letting her be part of the choice anyway," he mused. He glanced at the pile of envelopes next to her. "How many invites do you have left?"

Jazz checked her list.

"Least a hundred more to go," she sighed.

"What the fuck, you have like no friends! Who are these people!?" Danny cried out. Jazz glared at him, reaching behind her to grab a pillow to hit him with.

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Knock knock knock.

Danny floated awkwardly outside of her window. She didn't answer, but he could tell that she was there. Her light was clearly on, and he could hear her music playing.

Knock knock knock.

"Sam?" he called out. "Sam, can we please talk?" He knocked some more.

The longest minute of his life passed before he heard the music turn off. The curtains opened, and Sam was on the other side, staring incredibly annoyed at him. She gestured for him to come inside, and he did. His feet landed on the floor, and she reshut the curtains.

"What do you want?" she snapped. Danny exhaled deeply.

"Sam…" He took a deep breath. "I'm so sorry about how I've been acting. I've just been…"

"Stupid?" she suggested.

"Yeah. But more importantly. I." He paused. "I've been honestly such a huge coward. Still kinda am, actually. Like…" He swallowed nervously, glancing at the ground. "I've been too afraid to bring it up or to really even talk to you about it."

Sam cocked her head to the side. She took a few steps back, sitting down on her bed and patting the spot next to it.

"Talk to me," she encouraged. Danny plopped down next to her, turning human as he did so.

"I want to be with you," he said bluntly. "But just...I get so caught up in all these what-ifs. What if it doesn't work out? What if you get tired of me? What if you eventually realize that it sucks being with somebody who has to cancel dates or who ditches you because I have to stop Skulker or Technus or Ember? What if you get hurt because of me? What if…" he trailed off, not even wanting to get into deeper thoughts.

"I wish you had told me this sooner," Sam spoke softly. "We could have talked about it." Danny sighed.

"I know, I know. I just." He rubbed the palms of his hands up and down his thighs as he tried to provide some kind of a rational answer. "I'm afraid. Even now. I don't want to lose you."

"You're not going to lose me," Sam reassured him. She put her hand on top of one of his, and he stopped. "You're one of my best friends, and I love you so much."

"...I love you too," he confessed. He turned his wrist, moving to intertwine their fingers together. "I can't imagine a future without you being there in some way. And I just...I guess I've always been worried about you not wanting to be there anymore."

"I'll always want to be there," she smiled. She leaned in, lightly pecking his cheek. He sighed deeply in relief. "Even if we tried, and we found that it didn't work, that doesn't mean we can't still be friends after. But we'll never really know unless...you know. We tried."

"So, I guess that means that um...you'd be interested in maybe going to prom with me?" he asked.

"Of course, ya dingus." She lightly tapped his new nose ring. "So. How much trouble are you in with your mom?" Danny flinched.

"Man, let's just say I'm surprised she didn't fully kill me."

[adrenameg]

Stockholm Syndrome - Danny Johnson | The Ghostface

so I've wrote a cute short story about Danny, its been sitting in my drafts for ages and i finally finished it!! something to pass some time during this crisis, but I hope everyone is staying safe and more importantly at home!!

hope you enjoy!! 

SLIGHT mention of NSFW below the cut

“God, I missed you” Danny mumbled into your neck, making you giggle at the tingling sensation.

A while ago, Danny had planned to brutally murder you after meeting you in a nightclub uptown. Obviously back then, he was none other than the famous Jed Olsen to you. The reporter who glorified The Ghostface and his murders, placing the most gruesome photos in his articles. You always wondered how he got such good images, then you found out.

He’d mapped everything out, how to scare you, the method of killing and finally, what he would write about you in his article. Except, when he tried calling you in the middle of the night, you didn’t wake up. He cursed, phoning you multiple times before he eventually gave up. Of course you were a deep sleeper, that was just his luck. Danny was already angry at this point, he stormed through your house, knowing he didn’t need to be quiet. He waltzed into your room, to see you laying stark naked in bed, the moonlight piercing through the small gap in the curtains illuminating your perfect body. In that moment, he knew he didn’t want to kill you just yet.

So here you were today, actually enjoying being held captive. At first, you fought for your life, you struggled in his intense grasp and you even managed to injure him once. But that just backfired on yourself. You found yourself giving in to his advances, convincing yourself it was because you knew you were never going to escape, but really, you wanted it just as bad as Danny did.

“I missed you too” You threw your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. Danny had just come back from a long day at work, and it was now late in the evening.

“I thought about you all day” He whispered into your ear. You squeezed your thighs together, knowing exactly what he meant. “I want to bring you to my office so I can bend you over the desk and fuck you hard”

“But people might recognise me” You mumbled, a feeling of sadness washing over you as you thought about your family and friends.

“Isn’t that exciting?” He rasped, dragging his wet tongue along the length of your neck, up to your ear. Gulping down the lump in your throat, you tried not to let your tears overcome you and fall from your eyes. “Baby?” His eyes met yours, a concerned look immediately coming onto his face. A sigh escapes his lips as a stray tear falls from your eye.

“I...” You start but you struggle to put any thoughts together and form a sentence.

“I’m sorry it has to be this way. I’m sorry I took your life away from you” Danny gives you a weak smile and holds you at arms length. “But you have me”

“Can’t I have just one day where I go and see my family? I just want them to know I’m okay and that I love them, then I’d come straight back to you” You’d lost count of how many times you had asked this of Danny, knowing what his answer would be every time. “Even an hour would do..”

“You know I can’t let that happen, doll” His features started to harden. Your guess was that he was beginning to get fed up of answering the same question every so often.

“I know” You huffed, pulling away from his hold.

“If I could, you know I’d let you see them” He grabbed your wrist as you went to walk away from him.

“Really?” You scoffed, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Don’t act like I don’t care about you” Danny’s tone was harsh and you knew he was getting irritated.

“If you cared you wouldn’t be so selfish” As soon as the words left your mouth, you slapped a hand over your lips as if you were trying to push the words back in. He narrowed his eyes at you but said nothing, the silence eventually becoming unbearable.

“What?” He snapped, his eyes cold as ice.

“Nothing. I didn’t mean it” You quickly replied.

“I try my absolute hardest to make you happy, you know? And you call me selfish? Selfish!” He was pacing up and down the hallway, his anger literally radiating off of him. When he turned to face you, his nostrils were flared and his eyes wild.

“I love you” The three words slipped out easily, no hesitation at all. It was the only thing you knew you could say to calm him down, and make him believe that you didn’t mean what you said.

“Huh?” His expression completely changed. “I.. you’re not just saying that, are you?”

“I’m being serious” The corners of Danny’s lips started to point upwards, and you visibly relaxed, he believed you.

“Say it again” pleaded Danny as he looked deep into your eyes.

“I love you” With more confidence in your voice, he was even more inclined to believe you. Sure, Danny had told you plenty of times that he loved you and you’d never given him the answer he wanted, until now.

“I’ve been waiting so, so long to hear you say those words to me” He was practically glowing with glee. Only a smile was given in reply to him, but it was sweet nonetheless. “Now let’s go make love”

And you did truly love him. Even though your story was kind of sick, and twisted, with it all starting in him kidnapping you. But you’d gotten to know the real him, you’d seen the soft side of him. Yeah, you had also seen his bad, killer hungry, psychotic side but this all made you love him even more.

You definitely had a case of stockholm syndrome.

[judgement-free-sideblog]

Never underestimate a black suit

Bill Hader x Reader

I'm not even going to pretend I regret this one. It all started in 2009 when I became obsessed with SNL, then he just kept popping up, here an there and the crush just grow, and since thanks to It chapter 2 he is finally getting the recognition he deserves I got this idea last night and I got to write it before it escapes my mind.

One shot: Imagine you are a PA in Barry and you have the biggest crush on Bill Hader but it seems like he hates you because he is dead serious all the time he is around you.

Warnings: Swearing, Age gap (I know he is just over forty but god I love him).

You were pacing on the set, the Steve Allen Theater, hoping for someone, anyone, to give you an order so you could pretend you were so good at your job as PA so they won't fired you. But the damage was done, all thanks to your verbal incontinence and now the most amazing job in the world was about to be over.

You had started working on Barry about a year ago, and you have loved every minute of it, the cast was so sweet and down to earth, and make your job so much easier, D'arcy Carden for example was always thankful with you for the simplest things like bringing her coffee and Sarah Golberg even had invited you to lunch after you helped her with a female problem one time. They were so talented and nice that you could not believe it when the production called you back for the third season to keep working there.

But then it was him, the titular character, the fucking genius whose hard work and imagination have created this magnificent show, Bill Hader. Yes you were 28 and he 42, but still you couldn't explain it, there was something about the way he spoke and the way he walked that made you weak on your knees every time, and his laugh, you were sure something had been fixed in your mind after the first time you heard him laugh.

And then it was that first week of shooting from last year, the retro outfit with the suspenders, you couldn't get your eyes off him and you almost made one of the sound guys trip with Henry Winkler. And then the table scene, you were in the back making sure the extras were in their right place and avoiding look at him because he was so perfect on that scene that you certainly will froze just by looking at him.

This little crush was obvious for absolutely everyone, except obviously for Bill, you were sure that Anthony Carrigan even deliberately asked you for anything when he was talking to Bill to see you all clumsy and awkward, not to be a dick, just to push you to talk to him, but you were certain he didn't liked you, with most of the other members of the cast and crew he was always laughing, but in the limited interactions you had he was serious, asked you for a coffee now and then or to make a phone call but just that, and you were beginning to think your absurd infatuation was making him uncomfortable, so you tone it down, made a composed face and limited to do your job.

But now you had blow it. That morning they were filming the behind the episode, for the new season, at some point Barry had one of those daydreams and he imagine himself married to Sally, so there he was all perfect in a black suit sitting in his chair next to Alec Berg talking about the challenges of the new season and how thankful they were to come back.

"So the cast is amazing, the first two episodes of the season are incredible and you have managed to keep the same novelty feeling on the series, why do you think that is?" The guy interviewing them asked.

"Well I think it's mainly thanks to the cast" Alec started "This guys are just amazing, this season we are actually giving Sally a bigger arc and that is very interesting"

"And the crew too" Bill said then "I mean they make us all look good, even when some scenes are a total disaster, the set designers, the wardrobe and all that" they made a pause and you were there to put water bottles in the table between them.

"Bill I have known that you used to be a PA, you think that gives you a better understanding on how hard it is for and aspiring actor as Barry, and does it translate on the writing?" He asked and against your better judgment you stay there to listen.

"Totally, but on a more personal level I try to no be diva with my PAs, recognize they do a hard work and know them all by name, that sort of things"

And then your verbal incontinence kick in, and there, just a few feet away, your mouth was quicker than your brain and still looking at him you spoke, not that loud to be heard by the three of them but enough for him to look straight at you.

"That's bullshit" you instinctively took your hands to your mouth and turn around before you could saw him react and went away pretending you were taking coffee orders. And here you were just waiting for the "we are gonna have to let you go" speech when one of the other PAs called you.

"Hey Y/N Hader says you have to go to his dressing room ASAP" Your friend Danny said and you felt like something heavy fall down inside your stomach.

"Can someone else go?" You answered trying to find an excuse "I have to walk Kirby's dog" you lied.

"No, he said you specifically, something about a mail he asked you to sent?" You gave him a thumbs up and start walking to his dressing room, already feeling you were fired.

"Did you need anything Mr. Hader" You tried to sound professional, and not dead ass scared.

"Oh sure, Y/N, please come in" Great! He did know your name, so apart from impertinent you were an asswhole. And he was still in that stupid black suit that made him look so gorgeous, not like the tshirts and hoodies didn't. "Do you by any chance printed those documents I asked you to send last week? I seem to have deleted them and Alec is going to freak out" He said as nice and kind as always and the weight in your stomach start lightening.

"Yeah sure, I ... well unless someone says is confidential I make copies of everything, an old habit" You said looking for a flash drive in your purse. Since all the crew sing a NDA at the beginning of the production there was nothing wrong with that, unless of course you put it on Twitter if you wanted to go to jail.

"This is not your first work on a set right?" He asked while you started looking for the documents in his laptop.

"Oh no sir. I worked in Dead to me two years ago, but since they are in a break I try my luck here last year, and HBO has better catering" You said concentrated in your work.

"Oh so you met Christina?" He asked genuinely interested, "how old were you then?"

"26, a bit late to start in this business I know, but well I like it more" You answered with a smile and then pointed to the laptop "There they are".

"Thanks so much, truly a life saver" He said and let go a sigh "And you are never too old or too young to start, as long as you enjoy it, and tolerate your bosses... bullshit was it?" He said raising an eyebrow accusatory. You immediately turn white and then red and multiple apologizes started bubbling in your mouth.

"I'm so sorry sir, I really am, I sometimes speak my mind and say all this stupid stuff, I'm sorry" You finally managed to say. He started laughing, you didn't let go the painful irony of the situation, it was the first time you made him laugh, and probably will be the last.

"I'm sorry" He said finally " I couldn't help it, relax. I'm not mad. It was quite funny what you said, I sound like such a duchebag I know everyone by name" He said making an acute voice and you start calming down "But if anything I'm sorry I made you, or any of the crew, feel like you don't matter. All of you are actually great" He said and smiled again to you. "Also lose the Mr Hader, that's bullshit, you can call me Bill".

"Oh no, I couldn't, I'm already so embarrassed by why I did" you started and he looked at you making exaggerated puppy eyes mouthing please, and it was lucky you were so nervous otherwise you would have exploded with laughter "Ok Bill"

"Ok then you are 28, and recently started as a PA, you want to be an actress?" He said, leaning back on his desk.

"Absolutely not, I wanted to be a writer, I was a writer actually in a newspaper, but it didn't feel right and then I realized I wanted to write stories, scripts, and one of my friends was an extra in Stranger things, then she said Netflix needs PAs and well there I went" You said, it was easy talk to him. "Also I don't have the looks for it and hate to se myself in pictures"

"I don't have the looks for it, and here I am" He said opening his arms "But honestly you keep writing and trying, if it's what you want, I mean I get here"

"Well yeah but have seen yourself in that suit?" Your mouth betrayed you again and you look at your feet to hide your face. "Amm I think I have a dog to walk, bye" You said before he could said anything and run away.

The next weeks were difficult, you avoid being alone with Bill but you kept doing your job as good as always, and every once in a while you will notice him looking at you, thinking on how pathetic you must look to him. Until the last day of shooting, they wrapped up the season and it was amazing. The only thing left was to go for a drink at Henry's place and start looking for a new job, thankfully you had finally written a promising draft and your hopes were high.

Maybe that's why you actually choose to drink at the party, and dance with your friends and some members of the cast, and you were a little more talkative than usual, until Anthony who was talking to you about something you were not actually listening leave you alone next to bill.

"So what's next??" He asked in the middle of the loud music, and you didn't quite got it because he signaled the garden and you followed him. "Finally I couldn't hear my thoughts" He said once you were outside.

"It's really loud, but you all deserve it" You said and suddenly realized you were alone. "What where you asking?" You tried to sound casual.

"Oh if you could get me a coffee" he joked and then quickly add "No I was wondering what's next for you after this is over?"

"I actually waiting good news from Amazon, maybe with any luck I'll get a chance with one of my scripts" You said proudly.

"That's amazing" He said with bright happy eyes "I'm so glad for you, so we won't be seeing you in season four?"

"With any luck no" You answered "You'll have to find another impertinent PA to call out your bullshit" You add laughing.

"Oh I'm pretty sure we will find someone, or I can always call you and ask you to do it for free" He said and you could notice how close he was "You know as a concerned friend"

"Sure, I can do that, my contract finalized yesterday day so I guess starting today I'm just your rude friend that says come on man don't be a duchebag" You said letting go a small laugh but he was looking at you completely serious.

"In that case..." He started and took your face between his hands, he was so tall and you felt so tiny next to him but also it was so nice and comfortable being so close, he lean in to kiss you and stop just close enough to your mouth so you will feel his breath, as if he asked for your permission to continue, and instead of saying something that could ruin the moment you close the distance and kiss him.

His lips felt soft and tender over your lips, and he slowly started deepening the kiss pressing you against him from your waist, and you hold on to the front of his jacket trying to keep him closer to you, hoping for this moment to never end, until the absurd necessity of oxygen force you to split.

"I ... I didn't think it would be appropriate to do that when we were working together" He started, smiling like a child. "I'm sorry if I made you feel like I was avoiding you, Anthony messing up with me by having you around all the time didn't help either"

"Don't worry it's okay, and yeah it would have been super inappropriate but thank god I no longer have a job" you said still trying to make sense of the situation.

"Would you... I mean I love Henry but there's only alcohol in here, do you want to go grab some dinner?" He said pointing the exit.

"I would love that" you answered, overwhelmed by joy and you followed him to the door, happy with all the possibilities the future hold.

[clintbartonswife]

singing softly

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes Summary: 5 times Bucky sang to Steve + one time Steve returned the favour Notes: (minor) character death, mentions of illness, Made for @panicfob anniversary challenge, with the prompt “Tell me how to breathe in and feel no hurt.”  List of songs at the end:) masterlist

1. (1925)

Wet coughs were muffled with small, pale hands. 

Bucky had been there since early morning, ever since the news had spread that the Roger’s boy was sick again, only ever letting go of Steve’s hand to wet the rag that he gently wiped across the blond’s sweaty forehead. 

Sarah looked in on the two silently from the doorway, eyes creasing in concern for her only child. He had caught the flu again, the cold weather outside grating on his fragile lungs more than he could handle.

But Bucky, the boy was a mystery to Sarah. Ever since they had met two years ago, the eight-year-olds had been inseparable, much to her surprise. Bucky was a tall, strong boy, and most like him had shunned Steve for his small and sickly nature. Not Bucky. No, that seemed to make the brunet almost more protective of Steve than he was his sisters, always saving his from playground fights.

“Of all the money that e'er I spent, I spent it in good company”

Sarah blinked out of her thoughts as Bucky’s soft voice broke the silence, the boy focusing solely on Steve as he stroked his hair out of his face, one pale hand moving to rest over Bucky’s chest.

“And all the harm that ever I did, Alas it was to none but me”

He was feeling the vibrations, Sarah figured, a small smile pulling at her lips as she watched them. A bond that close was all she could ever wish for her child. It would outlast her, that she was sure of.

2. (1933)

The funeral was a quiet affair.

Sarah Roger’s friends from church attended the ceremony, along with a few of the nurses who shared her shift and - of course - the Barnes family. Steve was sure they had been giving him their regards, but he heard none of them. 

He just stood there, staring as the coffin was lowered gently into the grave, yearning to hold Bucky’s hand.

Later that night, back in the too-empty apartment, Bucky held him to his chest as they lay together in bed, running a soothing hand up and down the smaller man’s back.

“She’s gone”

He sounded so desolate, so hopeless, that it almost made Bucky cry. The brunet just murmured his acknowledgement, tightening his hold even more.

“It hurts. I - Tell me how to breathe in and feel no hurt”

Bucky’s heart squeezed painfully, his hand moving to cup the back of Steve’s neck, “Just keep breathing” he eventually said, “It doesn't ever go away but I’ll be here to help lessen it every day - I promise”

Steve just nodded, letting silence fall over them again for a few more minutes.

“Buck” Steve whispered, forehead resting against his collarbone, “sing for me?”

Bucky huffed a laugh, pressing a kiss to the top of his head before clearing his throat, 

“Oh Danny boy, the pipes the pipes are calling-”

As Bucky’s soothing voice filled the room, Steve began to gently sob, the Irish melody easing the pain in his chest, even if only for a moment. He stayed wrapped in strong arms the whole time, the feeling of safety and protection only growing as his crying began to fade out. 

Bucky watched him with soft eyes, hands moving upwards to stroke through his hair as the younger boy began to doze off to the sound of his voice.

“For you shall bend and tell me that you love me, And I shall sleep in peace until you come to me”

The tell-tale sounds of Steve’s relaxed breathing made Bucky smile, glad that the distraught boy had finally managed to fall asleep.

3. (1937)

“C’mon Stevie” Bucky groaned, collapsing onto the sofa, “it’s your birthday, we gotta do something!”

Steve smirked at the bratty behaviour, crossing his arms, “We don't gotta do anything, Buck”

“But it’s your 21st!” Bucky said, waving his arms around as if the notion was ridiculous, “It’s a special one! Anything you want - just say it and we’ll do it”

Steve raised an eyebrow, steeping in-between Bucky’s legs, gaining the brunet’s attention.

“Anything?”

Bucky nodded hesitantly, eyes darkening as he watched Steve lean down so that their faces were mere inches apart.

“Dance with me. Just us, in this apartment” he said simply, “That’s what I want”

“You’re a tease Steven Rogers” Bucky grinned, jumping up off of the sofa with joyful exuberance before offering the shorter boy his hand, “Would you do m the honour of dancin’ with me?”

Steve chuckled, quickly walking over to set the needle on the bust-up grammar phone before heading back to Bucky, accepting his hand.

The two swayed gently to the soft tones of Billie Holiday ‘If You Were Mine’, Steve’s head moving to rest gently on the dip of Bucky’s collar bone, a place Bucky had secretly reserved for him.

Roughly halfway through the song, Steve closed his eyes, the vibrations of Bucky singing along to the music creating a unique comforting sensation that he wished he could save forever.

“If you were mine, I would live for your love alone” 

The atmosphere changed as Bucky’s cheek moved to rest against the top of Steve’s head, the words resonating with the two young men more than they thought was possible.

“To kneel at your shrine, I would give up all that I own”

Steve moved then, tilting his head up so that their noses were only a breaths-width away from touching.

“Buck-”

Before he could voice his thoughts, Bucky’s lips were connecting with his, soft and slow, their bodies still swaying slowly in time to the music.

“Even my life, I’d trade it all for you, And think I was lucky too, If you were mine”

4. (1940)

“Buck?”

The apartment was quiet - too quiet for Steve’s liking - especially as Bucky should’ve come home from the docks an hour ago. Frowning, Steve carried on walking to the kitchen, only to find an ashen-faced Bucky clutching a letter in his hand.

“Buck?” Steve repeated, his voice seemingly snapping the brunet out of his stupor.

“Oh - sorry, doll. I didn't hear you come in” Bucky said, shoving the letter in his pocket and standing up to pull Steve into a hug, hands still shaking slightly, “Must’ve overworked myself today at the docks”

Steve accepted the hug, trying his best to soothe his boyfriend, before pulling back just enough to see his face.

“What’s this really about?”

The older man’s face dropped, releasing a wavering sigh before sitting down heavily on one of the dining chairs, gesturing for Steve to do the same. He pulled out the letter from before and passed it to Steve, eyes full of barely-restrained dread.

“I don't understand -” Steve said, looking over the letter, before a icy dagger of fear went through his chest, “Oh Bucky”

“I’ve been drafted” he said, voice tight, “Sargent Barnes of the 107th”

“I - I’ve got to - to sign up. I’ll come with you” 

“Steve no-”

“I’ll go to the pop-up, down by the bakers - tomorrow. We can - we can figure this out”

By now he was sounding hysterical even to himself, Bucky moving out of his chair to kneel in front of Steve, taking his hands in his own. 

“No, Steve. No. I need you to be safe. Please. At least when I have to go I’ll do it knowing I’ll be keeping you safe”

That finally ripped a sob from Steve, who shook his head madly and gripped onto his hands even tighter.

“How long?”

“Two weeks and I’m off to England”

Another sob was torn from Steve’s throat, Bucky quickly moving to wrap Steve in up his arms, cradling his small body and rocking back and forth. At a loss of what else to do, Bucky wiped his own tears from his eyes before shakily beginning to sing one of their favourite songs.

“Till the end of time, long as stars are in the blue, long as there’s a spring, a bird to sing, I’ll go on loving you”

Steve shifted in his lap, pressing his cheek firmly to Bucky’s chest as his sobbing died down slightly, moving his arms to wrap around Bucky’s waist.

“You promise?”

His voice was quiet, almost reluctant, muffled against the scratchy material of Bucky’s work shirt. Nevertheless, Bucky caught it, immediately halting his singing and moving Steve so that they were looking into each other’s eyes.

“Promise Stevie, no one’s ever gonna replace you”

“And you’ll come home?”

“I’ll fight like hell to”

5. (1941)

“We can take a break here for a few hours, tend to the wounded” Steve announced, “We should be far away enough by now”

Bucky felt like he was going insane. He should be dead, strapped to that medical table, yet here he is, following Steve - his Stevie - out of hell, while he looks like he’s been pumped with a thousand different kinds of steroids.

A light pressure on his back moved him away from the mass of soldier’s, the smell reassuring him that he was safe, that it was just Steve.

“You okay Buck?”

He scoffed, looking up - he had to look up - to meet his eyes, “I don't think I’m the one who should be answering that question right now”

“Buck-”

“You promised me you’d stay home, Stevie”

“If I had you could’ve died in there -”

“At least you would’ve been safe!”

The blond dropped his head in defeat, his whole body radiating his silent apology.

“I couldn’t live with myself knowing you were fighting out here while I was just sat at home”

A bitter chuckle, hand reaching up to cup the side of his neck, “You’ve never been able to do that, huh”

“I knew I couldn't let you fight alone, Buck” Steve admitted quietly, still looking down, “And I’m glad I didn't. Seeing you on that table-”

“I know” Bucky breathed, pulling the blond into a firm hug - the most he could do while they were this much in the open, “we’ll talk more when we get back to base, okay?”

Steve just nodded, straightening his posture before stepping out of the hug, his Captain persona firmly back on.

“I can wait”

Roughly 12 hours later, the rag-tag group arrived back to camp to cheers of ‘Captain America!’, a very pretty brunette (that Bucky was not jealous of at all) greeting Steve with a proud smile.

By the time they were allowed to go to the barracks - ‘Bucky’s staying with me, sir, he was in bad shape and I’d like to keep an eye on him’ - the older man was well and truly exhausted.

“So - Peggy”

Steve sighed, running his hands over his face dramatically, “It’s not like that”

“Sure pal”

“No. Really” Steve insisted, grabbing Bucky’s chin, forcing their eyes to meet, “It’s not like that”

Bucky hummed, climbing into the bed with a well-practice air of blasé.

“Buck, I swear it” Steve said, voice quiet, “I missed you so much”

“You wouldn’t have to hide with her” 

“What?”

“Peggy. You wouldn't have to hide with Peggy”

A small sad sound came from behind him, followed by a sudden shoot of movement as Steve climbed on to the bed with Bucky, his newly-enlarged form swamping the man with his hug as he was pulled into a strong chest.

“But I don't love her. I love you, you know this”

As soon as the first tear escaped Bucky’s eye he knew he was fucked, his hand reaching up to gran on to Steve’s arm.

“I don't know what they did to me Steve. I don't - I don't know what they did and I don't know if I can protect you anymore”

“You don't need to protect me anymore” the blond said, truthfulness radiating from every pore, “I can help myself now. We can protect each other”

Another muffled sob. Bucky wiggled around in Steve’s arms so that they were face-to-face, his hand resting on his cheek.

“I love you so much”

“I love you too”

“Punk”

“Jerk”

The two of them lied there, entwined in each other’s arms as Bucky’s cries slowly died down.

“Buck?”

“Yeah?”

“I missed your singing” Steve admitted, “the apartment was too quiet without it”

Bucky huffed a laugh, readjusting himself so that he was facing Steve head-on.

“If you wanted me to sing all you had to do was ask, you punk”

Steve let out a soft giggle, tears welling in his eyes as Bucky began to sing, his voice softer than normal.

“How much do I love you? I'll tell you no lie, How deep is the ocean? How high is the sky?”

+1 (2015)

Steve had finally found him. Bucky was home.

Well - not home - both of them had lost their homes years ago, but together, as bruised and broken as they might be. And for now? That was enough.

“Steve?” 

Bucky’s monotone voice broke the heavy silence that had fallen over the apartment, the blond’s head whipping around to face him. Seeing he had his attention, Bucky continued.

“Did you ever sing to me?”

The question sent Steve’s stomach plunging, a small flicker of hope blooming in his chest at the slightly wrong memory.

“No, but you used to sing to me all the time” Steve said, shuffling slightly closer to Bucky, watching as his eyes lit up with the confirmation, “you used to do it to calm me down when I was stressed or upset”

Bucky nodded, biting his lip thoughtfully.

“Could you - could you sing something for me?”

His voice was soft and unsure, the timid expression something Steve was reluctant to say he was now used to seeing on Bucky’s face.

“If you really want me to I will - but I’m nowhere near as good as you” 

“I’m sure that's not true” Bucky said, smiling as he relaxed marginally into his seat.

Steve fidgeted in his seat as he wondered what to sing, his mind going back to the first time Bucky sang to him. A small smile flitted across his face at the memory, deciding the on the old melody.

“Of all the money that e'er I spent, I spent it in good company“

Bucky let out a soft noise, peacefulness oozing from him as he completely relaxed in his seat, letting Steve’s voice drown out the rest of his thoughts.

“And all the harm that ever I did, Alas it was to none but me”

Steve watched Bucky raptly, searching for any spark of recognition.

“And all I've done for want of wit, To memory now I can't recall”

Steve’s next words died in his throat as Bucky opened his mouth, the smooth voice he had been yearning to hear suddenly filling the room.

“So fill to me the parting glass, Good night and joy be with you all”

The two men fell silent, seemingly at a standstill while Bucky digested the new memories. Steve held his breath, hope now beating ceaselessly against his ribs.

“Stevie”

It was just a breath, no louder than an feather falling to the ground, but Steve knew.

Bucky remembered.

_______________________________________________________________

@patzammit​  @geeksareunique​   @xxloki81xx​  @bangtan-serendipity​

Songs:

1. The Parting Glass 

2. Danny Boy by Frederic Weatherly

3. If You Were Mine by Billie Holiday

4. Til the end of time by Les Brown

5. How Deep Is The Ocean by Irving Berlin

+1 The Parting Glass

[mrsrcbinscn]

Franny’s 30 Day Cover Challenge

Playlist

Franny’s 30 Day Cover Song Challenge: (categories are mostly from here, and here, with some from here, and a couple I made) in September 2020 one of her musician friends challenged her to do the thing and she was like “It seems like a fun way to show everyone what kind of music has influenced me as a musician, singer, songwriter, and just like, person. So I’m going to do it.”

In reality, she recorded most of them in 1-2 days to distract her from how sad she is because Wilbur hates her and he’s sad lmao

It helped a little.

(If you want me to drop the playlist she mentions in #24 let me know, I have it started I can finish it)

TW: mentions of Franny’s political beliefs so tw: politics, an allusion to suicide though the word isn’t directly used, mention of 9/11 and the subsequent invasions...nothing graphic with any of these triggers but worth a forewarning

Day 01 - A song that makes you happy

Honey Spiders by The Parlotones

“The Parlotones are this fantastic indie rock band out of South Africa. And I actually thought about doing their song, uh, Stars Fall Down for day sixteen, but I’m going with Honey Spiders for day 1. There were lots of Parlotones songs, I mean. Push Me to The Floor, We Call This Dancing, Should We Fight Back...but ah, Honey Spiders always puts me in a good mood.”

Day 02 - A song that helps you clear your head

Light of a Clear Blue Morning by Dolly Parton

“I grew up on Dolly, and it’s funny because for the longest time this song wasn’t really on my radar as much as it is now. But when I was twenty-two I was going through something really difficult, and my then-fiance now husband was abroad for work, so I was alone in our apartment and just. Really, profoundly sad and lonely. So I put on a Dolly Parton record and just laid on the bed and Light Of A Clear Blue Morning played and I had a good long cry and felt so much better after that. When I need to think about how to solve a difficult problem, or I feel overwhelmed, I just listen to that song.”

Day 03 - Song you love from a band/artist you hate

Should’ve Been A Cowboy by Toby Keith

“Honestly, he’s called me a nasty lady to my face and I’ve called him a facist enabling pig to his, so I have no qualms openly saying I hate Toby Keith. That being said, Should’ve Been A Cowboy is one of the best country songs of the 90s, undeniably. I loved that song when it came out when I was thirteen, and I still love it.”

Day 04 - A song about drugs or alcohol

Whiskey Lullaby by Brad Paisley and Alison Krauss

“This is probably cheating, because my lovely best friend Daniel and I cover this a lot at Dara & Danny shows. But today look who I have! My friend Max from Seoul Hanoi’d! Max the Korean Scot who can’t hide his accent to save his life, so let’s see how it sounds in a Scottish accent.”

Day 05 - A protest song

Talking Vietnam Blues by Phil Ochs /// and Here’s to The State of Mississippi by Phil Ochs

“This one was hard because I. Fucking. Love. Protest music. I could have done a whole 30 days of protest music - wow, let me know if I should do that and give my husband a heart attack with all the twitter threats I’ll invite. Huh. Right, so I was going to do Your Flag Decal Won’t Get You Into Heaven by John Prine. But I decided to do two Phil Ochs songs because I don’t think Phil Ochs is talked about enough. It’s a shame we lost him so young. Ochs’ sardonic humor and honesty in his writing has influenced me as a songwriter deeply. When I write political songs, I don’t hold back, and it’s because of Phil Ochs’ writing that I have that courage. I’ve been singing Love Me, I’m A Liberal since I was in college with constantly updating lyrics. It was so hard to even choose which songs of his to do because for his fairly short career his songbook is lengthy and full of gems. I’m Going to Say It Now, Draft Dodger Rag, Spanish Civil War Song, I Ain’t Marching Anymore...I couldn’t pick one so I’m cheating and recording two.”

Day 06 - A song you wish you wrote

When I Think About Cheatin’ by Gretchen Wilson

“I will forever be pissed off that I didn’t write this song. I’m absolute trash for my husband, so it’s never -- I’ve never had to be in a situation to ever consider -- but this song gets me every time. It feels like I could have written it. Because we do spend a lot of time apart travelling for our work. And the sentiment expressed in the song is a little too real.”

Day 07 - A song in a language you don’t speak

Khattar by Khine Htoo

“This will either be a charming attempt to sing in Burmese or I’m about to offend a lot of people. Which, being a politically outspoken woman on the internet, I’m used to anyway. So. 1, 2, 3, okay here goes.”

Day 08 - A song by an artist no longer living

Phop Samnang by Sinn Sisamouth (inspiration)

“Haha, you thought I’d see the name of this category and not do a Sinn Sisamouth song? You were wrong.”

Day 09 - A song you want to dance to at your wedding

Devoted To You by The Everly Brothers

“I’m already married, so this was actually our first dance song at our wedding. Day three of our wedding, like the more Westernized wedding ceremony day. We had a three day long traditional Cambodian wedding and I felt like a princess. An-y-way!”

Day 10 - A song that makes you cry

Borrowed Rooms and Old Wood Floor by Emily Scott Robinson

“Unfortunately, Emily Scott Robinson and I aren’t related. Sad, I know, because she’s so talented. Almost her entire album Traveling Mercies is...sad as hell. The record reminded me of early Dolly Parton, and my second solo album. You know, all those sad-ass songs. The Dress is honestly the song that makes me the saddest but I can’t even listen to it without crying so.”

Day 11 - A song that you love hearing live

Prove My Love  by Violent Femmes

“There is nobody I have seen in concert more than Dolly Parton, but Violent Femmes and George Strait come incredibly close. The Cranberries, the amount of times I saw them in the 90s and early 2000s...close fourth. Probably. The very first concert I dragged my husband to was a Violent Femmes concert, he was not prepared for how hard college me went.”

Day 12 - A song from before 1960 

There Ain’t No Sweet Man That’s Worth The Salt of My Tears by Libby Holman

“This song is from 1928. I came across it when I was in grad school and it’s, as the kids say, a bop.”

Day 13 - A song you think everybody should listen to

White Man’s World by Jason Isbell

“I think perspectives of people of color should of course take precedence in these conversations. But I find this song to be a good faith attempt of a white man coming to terms with the institutional racism and sexism in the world around him. And I think this song can be a useful tool to explain certain concepts of racial justice to ignorant but well-meaning folks. As a woman of color I think Jason Isbell did a great job not centering himself even though it was from his perspective. This song is great musically and necessary socially.”

Day 14 - A song from the 1970s

You’re No Good by Linda Ronstadt

“Linda Ronstadt is grossly underrated, that’s all I have to say here.”

 Day 15 - A song people wouldn’t expect you to like

Racists by Anti-flag

“I mean, I’ve talked about how much I like punk in the past, and I remember a video of Seoul Hanoi’d doing Spanish Bombs at a San Antonio show made the rounds, but I don’t think I’ve talked about how much I like Anti-flag. People don’t expect me to like punk for some reason. But I agree with...everything punk music is all about.”

Day 16 - A song that holds a lot of meaning to you

Blue by LeAnn Rimes

“It’s silly, but I won a county fair singing competition with this song in high school and it really fueled my passion for music, that win. It’s also the first song Cornelius heard me go full Georgia on, with the yodels and all, at the little bar in my hometown on his first trip meeting my parents. The song doesn’t cut to my very soul ot anythin’, but it’s special to me.”

Day 17 - A song attached to a memory

Supernova by Liz Phair

“I remember buying Liz Phair’s Whip-smart album when I was eleven. And in college, when I was getting ready for dates with Cornelius in my dorm room, I would dance around to a CD I burned and wrote on it with a sharpie, ‘Pre-date Movie Scene Music.’ God, what was even on there? I’m about to expose myself as the most basic 1999-2001 bitch. I remember Head Over Feet, I mean, Alanis Morisette? I was a young woman in 2000, obviously I loved her. Mm, Dreams by The Cranberries...oh, Kiss Me, Sixpence None The Richer...yeah, anyway, Supernova was on there.”

Day 18 - A song from the year you were born

Call Me by Blondie

“...I can’t believe Call Me is as old as I am.”

Day 19 - A song that reminds you of someone you miss

Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing (yes, of course she does a cover with banjo)

“This was my late best friend Molly’s favorite hymn. And I sang it at her funeral at her husband’s request. Molly and I grew up together in the small town of Payne Lake, Georgia and Molly was the most devout Christian...but she was also the first person I came out to as bisexual when I was a teenager, and she said that Jesus taught her that love was the greatest commandment and that meant I was automatically twice as good at it as her. Her faith guided her every action but she never talked down on her two best friends - Dan(iel Maitland) and I for not sharing it. Molly was doing the whole emulate Jesus thing beautifully. I miss her every day and it’s been seven years. If you ever think that people won’t miss you...you’re wrong. All right, let’s see if I can get through this without crying.”

Day 20 - A song by an artist you discovered this year

Hello, Anxiety by Phum Viphurit

“I just discovered this quirky Thai-Kiwi singer and not to be dramatic, but he’s my favorite thing in the world right now.”

Day 21 - A song with a city or country in the title

Oh! Phnom Penh (track 20)

“This song was written after the fall of the Khmer Rouge, and after people began to make their way to what was left of their homes, alone, or with what was left of their families. If you want to learn more about what that was like to actually live it, my cousin Reena Boran has a video interviewing her parents and paternal grandfather and uncle about it. Reena is a journalism student currently studying in London but she lives in Cambodia. Her mother is my aunt Malisruot, my mother’s youngest sister. The video is English subtitled on her channel, I’ll link it in the description box below.”

Day 22 - A song from the 1960s

To Sir, With Love by Lulu

“I didn’t actually discover this song until I heard it covered at a 10,000 Maniacs concert in the 90s. My friend Allison was standing next to me and I just started crying and she’s like ‘are you okay?’ and all I just blubbered out ‘My dad!’ For the uninitiated, my dad married my mom, who’d raised me alone until then, when I was six and he adopted me when I was eight. My dad didn’t have to adopt me, he didn’t have to call me his daughter, he could have just been like half of my friends’ stepdads and give me a place to live and nothing else. But my dad was my biggest supporter from day one. He convinced my mom to let me join the dance team and show choir instead of science club, he was the one that talked my mom down from probably killing me when they found out I was only studying music and not music and political science at NYU. I am who I am today because he is my dad. And this song just says everything I’ve always thought about him.”

Day 23 - A song from your childhood

Una Lacrima Sul Viso by Bobby Solo

“But Franny, aren’t you a Cambodian raised in the US? Yes, but you were fooled. My very white father is also an immigrant. He is from Switzerland and while he didn’t teach me to speak Italian and German growing up, he played German, Italian, and French records all the time. My parents often spoke to each other in French and I picked up some French but properly studied it starting in high school, and I didn’t study Italian until college -- and my German is still …. [points to a spot on the screen where she later inserted a card linking to a video on her cousin Köbi Framagucci’s YouTube channel titled ‘Can My American Cousin Speak German?’ where he tests her Standard and Swiss German speaking and comprehension]. But hell if I couldn’t sing every one of the songs from my father’s French, German, and Italian record before I knew what the words even meant.”

Day 24 - A song that gives you chill vibes

Glorify by Ivan & Alyosha

“Dan(iel Maitland) and I actually have an entire playlist on my Spotify accounts of songs to listen to to get us out of writers’ block. And one that I often will put on repeat and just absorb through my headphones with my eyes closed is a song called Glorify by Ivan & Alyosha. I think it touches on a lot of the themes I include in my songwriting. Christian mythology, the darker side of humanity, it often reminds me of what I love about songwriting. If you say please I might drop a link to that playlist.”

Day 25 - A song that’s your signature song

Long Gone Lonesome Blues by Hank Williams“Right, so I chose this instead of a Kitty Wells song or I Get A Kick Out of You (her being

featured on a 2005

recording propelled her career majorly) because if you’re familiar with me you might have seen a video that went around in like….2017? 2016? of Dan(iel Maitland) and I doin’ the song at our hometown bar in 2014. I posted it in response to some tweets because hoes mad when a WOC calls out racism and sexism in the Nashville music industry. ‘Bet she don’t even know Hank’, really? You think I wouldn’t know the history of one of the two music industries I work in? Please. Anyway, she knows Hank and nails the incredibly technical yodel -- the

most difficult

one in Hank’s songbook - in Long Gone Lonesome Blues. Mm...Lovesick Blues though, that also strikes fear into my heart. Anyway stay mad I guess?”

Day 26 - A song by your favorite band

Gun Shy by 10,000 Maniacs

“10,000 Maniacs was one of my favorite bands when I was in like 5th grade through 10th. I listened to them for a little while after Natalie Merchant left for a solo career, but the Natalie Merchant era was really what resonated with me the most. Gun Shy was a bit too advanced for my little 5th, 7th grade ears to really appreciate when I first discovered the album In My Tribe. Merchant’s voice -- because like, I don’t have a very conventional voice either, so her and Dolores O’Riordan really changed my entire perspective on what a woman’s voice can sound like in rock music. Um, yeah, so her voice more than the lyrics just wowed me. And as I got closer to graduating high school and especially in college I actually understood what What’s The Matter Here, Hey Jack Kerouac, and Gun Shy were talking about. Gun Shy...really became a significant song to me because...being born in 1980 I grew up in a relatively peaceful time. The Cold War was all but thawed by my tenth birthday. But I was getting ready to leave my then-boyfriend-now-husband’s apartment for class at NYU on the morning of 9/11. We stood in line for hours to donate blood. And then my government invaded two completely unrelated countries and jingoism and terrifying, fervent nationalism, and xenophobia just smacked me in the face. And friends of mine from high school were convicted to drop out of college and join the Army, and died, for an unjust, imperialist war, and suddenly Phil Ochs, John Prine, and Bob Dylan lyrics hit a lot different, and I understood what Gun Shy was really about.”

Day 27 - A song you hate by an artist you love

Mrs.Robinson by Simon & Garfunkel 

“Paul Simon is one of my favorite songwriters ever, um, and I actually used to like Mrs. Robinson….until I got married and everyone sang it at me. It’s kind of my fault, I did choose to take my husband’s last name. And I leaned into it by making my social media handles all Mrs. Robinson...but still. Only play the song around me if you want to die.”

Day 28 - A song that a younger you would have loved

Mean by Taylor Swift

“I’m so genuinely glad that I am older than Taylor Swift. Middle school Franny did not need Taylor Swift to enable me and fuel my ego. Some of her singles, while not really 35 and 40 year old Franny’s cup of tea, young me would have played until my mother hid the record or cassette from me. Although - fuck if Tim McGraw didn’t immediately give my happily married ass flashbacks to my first love and make me bawl like a baby? Right, so when Speak Now came out and I listened to it, Mean, while not a song that adult me has listened to maybe more like ten times, I immediately thought ‘wow, I needed this song when I was in middle and high school.’ I could literally picture 7th grade me with my little guitar and my little cowboy boots my dad bought for me singing this at the talent show making eye contact with the kids who bullied me as if it was some kind of own when it’s not. I could still, almost thirty years later, name them if I really wanted. So, for 7th grade me, Mean by Taylor Swift.”

Day  29- A song that reminds you of your partner/spouse

ផាត់ជាយបណ្តូលចិត្ / Phat Cheay Bon'dol Chet by Sinn Sisamuth (translation) (female singer covering it) (modern, studio recording of a male and female singer dueting it) (a cool violin cover) (another female singer) (cool guitar cover)

Feat. some members of Seoul Hanoi’d. Andy Chaiyaporn (violin), Max Cho (piano), Jodie Batbayar (cello), Aisulu Niyazova-Li (percussion) and Franny has her guitar

“The song, lyrically, only reminds me of my husband a little bit. But Phat Cheay Bondol Chet has several memories with my husband attached to it. The first time he heard me sing in Khmer was at my mother’s house in Atlanta when I had him visit the first time to meet my parents. My mom had a little dinner party at our house to show him off, like Asian moms do when they think their daughter snags a good one, and I was hand washing the dishes while my mom and the other Cambodian parents were listening to Sinn Sisamuth records. I’ve always loved the song I’ll be showing y’all today, like I’ve always just stopped what I was doing and -- so it came on and I just started singing along without really being aware of it. And then at a different diaspora get together that summer, that song came on and I just kinda. Pulled him aside to the side yard of that person’s house to look at the stars with him and translated the song. It’s one of the Khmer songs he instantly recognizes now, so it’s special.”

Franny did NOT say in the video that college her 100% had him sit in the grass with her outside that person’s house, where nobody could see, so she could makeout with him 

 Day 30- A song by one of your favorite songwriters

Reincarnation by Roger Miller

Feat. Seoul Hanoi’d, done more in the style of the Cake cover 

Also instead of singing the lyric “you’re a girl, I’m a boy” she goes “you’re a girl, so am I” because she doesn’t ever change pronouns, she just makes it gay because she is a bi-con

“Roger Miller, to me, is as important as Dolly Parton, Paul Simon, Bob Dylan, in the American songbook. He’s not as talked about which is a shame because his discography is iconic. Getting to be a part of King of The Road was one of the highlights of my career.”

[crazy-loca-blog]

Personal Thoughts On Open Heart

When I first tried Choices, I said “I used to read this type of books (in paper, of course) when I was a kid, so let’s give it a chance… 5 minutes and then I’ll uninstall it”. And here I am, about 2 years and 45 books (and a lot of diamond purchases) later. But I never, ever felt so attached to a book as I am to Open Heart. I even recovered my forgotten Tumblr account, just to read stuff related to the book because I missed Dr. Ramsey and associates from Saturday to Thursday!

So I was just thinking about the final chapter (insert broken heart emoji here) and how there are lots of things that are still unsolved (and will probably remain unsolved or we would have like a 3-hour long chapter). It even made me think that this book was so successful that instead of shortening and rushing things (something that has been happening a lot in PB lately, let’s be honest), they may be trying to do the opposite, that is, to drag and delay some stuff as much as possible so they have plenty of interesting content for book 2 (and book 3?) as well.

I guess when the book was first released, most of us assumed the series was going to have three books, one per year: the first one would be about the competition, the second one about the MC joining the diagnostics team (after winning the competition, of course) and the third one about the MC finishing the residency and, of course, the wedding. But after the massive success of Open Heart and the lots and lots of things we want to know about every single character in this book, I’m beginning to wonder how many questions will be answered in chapter 17 and how many things will be left unsaid and unknown until book 2 arrives. So I had to make a summary a draft a list a long post the longest post I can think of now regarding the things I think will happen in the near future… or the things I WANT to happen in chapter 17 and in book 2 (or even afterwards, fingers crossed so we can get a book 3)…

The hearing: I’ve been trying to think about how things will go in chapter 17. For some reason, I think the tricks Ethan talked about when we saw him before the hearing are related to that empty chair the MC noticed in chapter 15. We know that the chair belongs to Naveen, so probably when he retired, that spot was meant to be Ethan’s. Also, we all saw Ethan quitting… but did he “officially” submitted his resignation to the board or was it just a verbal thing? I’m pretty sure that PB would have given us a scene with him taking his stuff out of his office, but that didn’t happen hasn’t happened yet. Also, we know there are 8 chairs, so my guess is that after 7 votes our MC will be losing the case… and that’s the moment where Ethan will come to the rescue to submit the 8th vote and make things even. So will there be a cliffhanger at the end of book 1? Who knows… part of me would love it because it would be a different and unexpected ending (we already know we don’t need a closure because we’ll be having a second book)… but I don’t know if I can wait months to discover what happened in the end. It would also be nice to see some type of unexpected plot twist during the hearing, as for example Aurora testifying for us or the snake Landry publicly recognizing that he sabotaged the MC, putting in danger the patients and ruining the MC’s reputation among the nurses.

The competition: since the snake’s Landry’s episode, we haven’t heard much about the competition. As Jackie said, with Naveen and Ethan out of the picture, there isn’t even a diagnostics team to join, so that made me think that PB is not even going to try to finish the competition in book 1, they’ll carry it to book 2 (Two books covering only the first year? That would be awesome, as it makes me dream of more than 3 books on the horizon… “a girl can dream”, said certain MC in chapter 10).

The hospital: Naveen is retired (and we still don’t know if he’ll live)… Ethan quit… Harper hates her current job. I’m guessing that book 2 will be all about chaos in the administration of Edenbrook. And for some reason, I can see Declan Nash and the contract that Ethan had to sign involved in all this mess (I’m guessing Panacea Labs will be our real PITA in this series).

Backstories: we know so little about our friends/LIs lives outside the hospital and about their past! We know that our beloved and hot smart ass Ethan (insert heart emoji here) doesn’t have a good relationship with his family, but we don’t exactly know what happened there. We also know that there might be something about Bryce and his family, and that’s why he decided to be as far from them as possible. We know about Elijah’s childhood and his parents being on medical debt, but it would be huge to be able to learn more about the difficulties he must face every day as a person in a wheelchair. We are just getting to know Aurora and how hard it is for her just to be herself because of her family name (I’d love to see her kicking some asses and showing everyone that she’s there because she deserves it, not because she’s Harper’s niece). The only thing we know about the MC is that there is a brother somewhere in the universe. But we still don’t know anything about Landry, Jackie, Sienna or Kyra’s past, so I expect to have a book 2 full of backstories.

The new roommate: that will have to be solved by the end of chapter 17 or in the first chapter of book 2 (because we have to pay the rent!). I definitely don’t want the snake Landry our old roommate to return to the apartment (does anyone want it that way, actually?) and I definitely see Bryce as the natural choice to fill that spot, I don’t see any other option.

The patients: of course we’ll keep receiving new cases in book 2, but I’d love to see PB giving some special treatment to Kyra. We do know that her fight is a long one and I’d love to see the MC right next to her every step along the way not only as her doctor, but as her friend. I’m still not sure if she is a LI or not, but I wouldn’t like her to be one or to become one in the near future. Don’t get me wrong, I love her, but right now I see the Kyra/MC relationship being the equivalent to the Dolores/Ethan relationship and even though I don’t want this to happen because it breaks my heart, I may see the same outcome in both cases, especially after Ines told Kyra that her survival chances were ridiculously low (insert broken heart emoji here).

New LIs: OK, so most of us have already chosen our fave LI (team Ramsey for life here… my heart, soul and body belong to him, please don’t let my boyfriend read this) so probably book 2 will be the one where we will make things official and become more serious about our relationships (especially if you’re dating Bryce, Rafael or Jackie… it took less than 2 chapters for Ethan and the MC to look like a married couple already so I think there isn’t anything to discuss there). But we definitely need at least one more LI and it has to be a female. My votes go to Aurora (I can see it like the Becca/MC relationship in TF series) and Sienna (just because she’s the sweetest!).

New relationships: again, now that we all are dating our fave LIs and living the honeymoon phase, what about some of our friends and LIs that received a “thank you, next” answer from us? We’re already shipping Elijah/Phoebe (even though they are not in a serious relationship yet, I can totally see him moving to her apartment at some point in book 2) and Sienna/Danny (like please PB! I’d be so happy if by the end of book 1 they go on a date! I need that thing to happen like NOW!). I’d personally LOVE to see Bryce dating Harper… I can totally see him dating an older woman (and of course I can see Harper having a hot toy boy in her life) and they’d be such an unstoppable power couple! We know he admires her a lot professionally speaking, but taking things to the next level would be like living the Ethan/MC love story all over again (except that I don’t think Harper sets boundaries as Ethan did tried to do). I’m also hoping for Ines and Zaid to confirm during chapter 17 if they are a thing or if they’re just friends… I think most of us ship them and a lot of people assume they’re already in a relationship as they’re seen together like everywhere… maybe we’ll have to play matchmaker once again in book 2? And if I have to choose some type of crazy match I’d say Aurora and Jackie. Can you image how they’d flirt? We wouldn’t even know if they are throwing shade or complimenting each other, but they’d love each other in their own twisted way.

Gossiping sessions with Sienna: this is simple: I always knew Sienna was going to become our bestie sooner or later, and I’ve been dreaming about a gossiping session with her since she told us she wanted to know every little dirty detail about that trip to Miami (has anyone written a fanfic about that conversation? that would be so awesome!). Please PB, just make it happen!!

Ethan: last but not least. No matter if he’s your LI or not, this man is a topic by himself. You just can’t deny he’s one the best characters that Choices has created so far (if not the best one… his character development is just amazing) and that he’s the main reason why we are so obsessed with this book. I’ll focus on him as a LI as well because that’s the route I took. I’m really hoping to see him returning to Edenbrook this week, after saving Naveen (please PB, give Ethan a break and let Naveen live! He’s had enough suffering already!), saving our MCs ass at that hearing and recovering his confidence as an attendant. If he returns, his biggest conflict in book 2 has to be how to be able to keep a relationship with the MC and being our mentor and our boss at the same time. He is madly in love, so this will be a constant struggle! There is also what I call “the Harper factor”. The reason why Ethan and Harper broke up was because she became his boss. Now Ethan is facing the same situation, but he is taking Harper’s place as the boss. How will she react? How will he explain to Harper that he’s doing exactly the same thing they used as the excuse for their breakup a year ago? Will we have another Harper/MC tense interaction in book 2 where they both will talk about Ethan? I’m seriously waiting for it to happen. Despite this, I’d love to see a kind of hidden relationship between them (I don’t remember PB doing that before) until they can’t just hide it anymore because it’s too obvious or because someone caught them (let’s face it, both the MC and Ethan fail miserably when they try to hide their feelings). I think something like this could work in this very specific case because no matter who your LI is, our MC tends to be a super private person and I don’t know if after all the things that happened in book 1 we would want to keep being the favorite topic in the nurses’ gossiping sessions. Wedding bells? Of course, but not yet… I even think the engagement may take place in book 3 (if we get there). Will we meet Jenner? I don’t think so, at least not yet (insert broken heart emoji here). A few days ago I realized that if you didn’t do the diamond scene or if you didn’t choose the option where Ethan talks about Jenner, you have no idea that he has a dog. Just do something about it, PB!!!!

[cowandcalf]

For the fanfic author ask meme - 1 , 13 , 32 , 33 and 50 . Enjoy :)

Thank you so much for your ask! It’s always such a pleasure to answer them and it’s a wonderful feeling to know that you are curious about my explanation. Alright, let’s see:

1. What was your first fic and could you stand to reread it today? My first fic was Stand By Me  I wrote it for the Suits fandom and for Marvey and I also paired Katrina and Donna. This was my first mind-baby and it was an intense struggle. It hardly got noticed for years. I’m proud of it. It’s far from perfect. My English wasn’t that good in the beginning but I still love the storyline I’ve chosen very much. I’ve never gone back to reread it. I would have to squirm a lot if I read it because there are a lot of typos. I don’t really enjoy reading my own stories. And I have to say it would be hard to stand to reread it today. I never would orphaned it. It belongs to my creative growth.

13. What’s the biggest change between your style when you started in fandom and today? I’m more accurate with the techniques of how a story gets written. I don’t mix up times, I choose one POV and if I have two POVs I never mix them in the same chapter unless it has a clear cut in the storytelling. I’ve gained a lot more knowledge of how to breathe life into a scene by using all the senses: taste, smell, hear, touch. I try to get it as 3D as possible. I’m better at creating an arch, a tension, the fullness of a story. I’ve gotten way better to feel the words that fit perfectly to the scene in my head. The practice is the key.

32. Who’s the one character who shines without you even trying. Steve McGarrett. It’s always Steve. My muse’s soul answers to him. She undulates towards this caleidoscope that is his character.

33. Is there any particular character whose scenes always wind up being longer/more frequent then you expected? Does the quality hold up? *laughs* My whole stories tend to wind up being way longer than intended. It doesn’t matter actually, if it’s Danny or if it’s Steve I write about. Somehow I end up always way above the word count I have aimed for. A certain depth demands a certain amount of words. Doing short stories is difficult for me. I have a feeling in my heart, one single, damn scene, one freaking sentence Steve says. All in all it’s a prompt of ten words maybe not more. It might even be a short paragraph...I start writing and I end up way above 10k. I, uh, I try to pare it down until I give up and just keep going. My latest story blew up from a raw draft of 4k and I ended the story with 60k. If the quality holds up? I have my own inner bar it has to fit. Other than that I can’t say. The feedback I get from my readers says the quality holds up.

50. Has writing fanfic had a significant impact on your life? Would you say it’s entirely positive? Yes, definitely. Writing fanfiction has a serious impact on my life. I’ve developed an impressive mental backbone. Writing fanfiction has become a passion. It’s like a fire that always burns and it’s a force I can’t always control. I don’t measure with positive or negative. For me, that’s inappropriate here. It’s all about the experience. Writing is a lesson of life. It’s like a martial art. It’s a way of budo. Writing challenges you and you undergo mental growth. I had bad times, terrible mood swings, mood drops, doubts, and fears, I had heady feelings, I was high with joy and high on adrenaline. I always hit rock bottom, my doubts eat at me. Writing is the education for your inner warrior and I don’t give up. I walk my path, steadily, against all odds. Writing is paring up with yourself. I don’t have fun writing. It’s hard work, I focus, I give in to this passion that urges me on. I need to write as if the words have to get out. Every day is different. It’s an adventure I don’t want to miss. I crave it, it’s a lust that fills my soul. Writing has made me strong.

Thank you again so much for your ask. It’s extremely interesting to self reflect on all these questions. That was satisfying. Mahalo, my dear friend.

[writehardwhumpharder]

Carson Story - Chapter One

Hey guys I mentioned I was working on turning my drabbles into a real story and it’s still a work in progress but here is a rough draft of chapter one if anyone is interested. It’s not whumpy yet, sorry.

"This is ridiculous," Carson sighed, "it's never going to work."

"Not with that attitude it won't, now focus," Daniel scolded.

They sat opposite each other on Carson's kitchen floor. Between them a circle was drawn in chalk, about two feet in diameter. Within its borders there was a pentagram, some runes, and whatever other magical juju they could come up with. Candles flickered from every available surface, casting odd shadows around the small apartment. Carson closed his eyes and attempted to clear his mind as he set down an old watch and a handwritten letter he'd received from his dad about twenty years ago. The objects were meant to establish a connection between him and the circle. Carson pricked his finger and let a few drops of blood drip inside, extending the connection to himself. Danny was mostly there for moral support since he couldn't do magic himself.

They joined hands and Danny smiled, a little proud that he'd actually convinced Carson to go along with this, "let the seance begin!" he declared.

"Richard Hall, if you are here with us tonight, make yourself known!" Carson said with as much seriousness as he could muster at that moment. To be fair, if his dad's spirit did exist somewhere, it would be here in his old apartment. Carson "inherited" it from him a few years ago. He didn't know the man but he must not have had anyone very important in his life after he left because he signed over everything in his will to his son by default. That's right, all $8,000. Oh, and the old answering machine that was left on the table probably by mistake.

"Richard Hall, if you are here with us tonight, make yourself known!" He repeated, the idea was to say it three times to properly summon a spirit. Daniel snickered from across the circle and Carson shushed him, cracking open one eye to glare at him. Danny bowed his head and cleared his throat, signaling that Carson could continue with the seance.

Okay, three times the charm, "Richard Hall if you-" a dull buzzing noise cut him off and both Carson and Danny jumped in surprise. They looked around the room to see if a man had suddenly appeared from the other side. Danny looked a little disappointed to find that the room was still empty.

Digging into his pocket Carson cast his friend a guilty look and as he pulled his phone out, the source of the buzzing got louder as he did. Danny crossed his arms.

"What? I set it in on silent..." He stood up, stretching his legs that had gotten sore from sitting Indian style for the past twenty minutes. He walked a few feet away and into his living room before answering, “Hello."

Papers shuffled around and random voices flooded in through the speaker, "Uh, hi, I'm detective Miller," a girl answered, sounding a little flustered, "is this Carson Hall?"

"Yeah, what do you want?" He asked, sounding a little impatient. He had a seance to finish and calls that start out asking his name are his least favorite kind of call, seeing as he had no interest talking to someone he didn’t already know.

"Well, I'm calling to see if you'd be willing to consult on a case..." she explained. Carson racked his brain trying to figure out what she could possibly need his help for.

"What does this have to do with me?" He asked.

"You see, it… it involves magic. We think someone is using it to kill people without leaving any clear evidence, there have been two deaths so far” she paused, hoping that would get his attention, usually she wouldn’t just give out details of a case right away but she needed his help, ”we lost our CI a few months ago that used to help with this sort of thing. You're the only confirmed magic user in our database that doesn't have a criminal record or gang affiliation-"

Carson frowned, "back up a second, I'm in your database? As a magic user? Who did you say you were again?" In his line of work it was best to operate with a healthy level of skepticism. When word does occasionally get out that he's a soul magician, having the incredibly rare set of skills that can be used to heal people of almost any ailment, including death believe it or not, he gets assaulted by phone calls from people all over the country asking him to fix someone. If Carson had the energy inside himself to do it, he probably would try to help every person that called him. Unfortunately, unlike other magic users, he can only use life energy to do magic, usually his own. There's also the issue of disrupting the natural order of things on a catastrophic level. Riley continued explaining her case and every step that had led her to Carson, she was clearly new at her job. At some point he must have started to tune her out, oops.

"So will you help me?" She asked. Carson searched his memory for whatever she had just said but all his brain supplied him with was "uhhh".

"Um, yeah I guess we can talk about it.” He said, not really sure what he was agreeing to.

“Can you meet me at my office tomorrow at ten?”

“Sure but if it’s going to be that early I’d rather meet somewhere that has caffeine,” Carson said, “I know a good coffee shop.”

Carson gave her the address and agreed to meet her tomorrow. He crossed his fingers that at the very least he’d get a free latte out of it. Crossing the room, Carson walked back to their little circle. Danny sat next to it with an expectant look on his face. Despite the eerie candle lighting and ritual set up, he couldn’t really get into the right headspace for a seance anymore. Not that it had any chance of working in the first place.

“Sorry, if you really want to summon my dead dad we’re going to have to do it another night.” He bent down to smear the edge of the circle and was surprised to feel just the faintest buzz of energy around it. He was sure if he really focused on it and opened his eyes to the energy, he’d see a weak blue glow around the edges.

"So what was that about?" Daniel asked.

"Honestly, I don't know. Some girl called about a case, she's with the police." Carson said as he started blowing out candles and cleaning up the circle. "I'm meeting her for coffee tomorrow."

"Ooh, Carson's got a date." Danny teased. Carson took a moment to be grateful that he'd met Danny in college and not middle school.

"I do not. She just wants some advice..." his face grew serious, "apparently there have been a few murders."

It was a little chilling, knowing there was a dangerous magician messing around in his city. Magic users had a bad enough reputation already. Daniel’s eyes widened with concern as a thought struck him.

"Wait, are magicians killing people? Or are people killing magicians..." he asked, suddenly worried for his friend, knowing he wasn't nearly as careful or as secretive as other magic users are. Magic in itself wasn't illegal, but it wasn't widely accepted either. Carson wished they could just go back to when people simply didn’t believe in it, or chose not to notice. Now that people do know, they fear it, and because they fear it, they hate it. It was the same old story of some group of people being different from the common masses and being alienated because no one took the time to try to understand them. Carson knew that if anyone besides Daniel knew about him it would cause a whole world of trouble for him, maybe make it hard to get a job or keep his apartment. Luckily he did have some level of protection, he’s done some big favors for a few very important people in New York. The kind of people you don’t argue with.

So it wasn’t exactly good news to hear that his name was in some police database. If they had that kind of information, anyone might be able to find it. He shivered.

***

Carson walked into the cafe at nearly 10am exactly. Despite having never met this detective Miller it wasn't hard to pick her out of the crowd. Where everyone else was calmly enjoying their morning coffee she was sitting behind a pile of papers, circling things with what looked to be five different colored pens. She looked up when he walked in and raised a tentative hand up to wave. Carson gave her a nod and headed towards the counter to order. She hurried around the table towards him.

"Thanks for coming," she said, sliding her card over to the barista discreetly, "I didn't think you would."

Carson wasn't quite sure how to respond to that, frankly he didn't know what he was doing here either but he did get that free latte he was hoping for. So far, so good.

"You can call me Riley," she said, extending her hand to shake his. He shook it, not bothering to introduce himself since she already knew who he was. “Did you want to get some food too?” She asked politely.

Carson’s face hardened, “I hate breakfast.” He said it with complete seriousness, like the meal itself  had personally offended him. Riley made a mental note to not mention it again, then another noting how odd this Carson guy seemed.

“Um okay then.” she replied timidly. Riley was young, she had that excited energy Carson lost sometime in college after too many late nights. Her medium brown hair was tied back in a ponytail that was casual yet decidedly professional along with the rest of her outfit. Everything about her was plain and average, everything except her eyes. Her green eyes were as striking as her hair was dull, or her skin was fair.

When Carson's coffee was ready they headed over to her makeshift desk and he had to move a few things out of the way to make room for his drink. "So you said something about a case?" He asked.

"Yeah, I'm working under the lead detective on a couple of strange murders that we think were done with magic, but we need more information from an expert." She said.

Carson laughed, "and I'm supposed to be the expert? There was really no one else you could call?" God if he was the special help then this case would never be solved.

"Well magic users tend not to get involved with the police, or anyone for that matter. But you must know that. Anyways, it's not all that complicated, you've had some training right?" Her eyes sparkled with hope and suddenly Carson felt a little guilty for not taking this seriously.

“No, I'm still waiting on my letter from Hogwarts." His voice dripped with sarcasm. "I've yet to find someone willing or able to train me. I'm a soul magician and those are pretty rare. It's kinda like I speak a different language than regular magicians, our magic isn't quite compatible."

"Magician? Like stage magic? Rabbits and hats and stuff?" She said, sounding a little skeptical.

"Magician, like, you know, physician, or electrician. It's what I do. But you can call it whatever you want, wizard, sorcerer, warlock, whatever." Carson took a large sip of his latte, he needed caffeine and he needed it now.

"But you do real magic right?" Riley asked, she didn't intend to be insulting, but Carson could see in her face that she was wondering if she made a horrible mistake in calling him. He sighed and looked around for an idea, some small object he could move to give her a demonstration. Settling his eyes on the pen in her hand Carson focused his thoughts on moving it towards himself. It's kind of a tedious process having to take the energy from his own life force and convert that into a more versatile form of magical energy but it only takes a few seconds, less time if he's desperate. The pen tore from her fingers as if on it's own accord and came to settle in his Carson's hand.

"Was that real enough?" He asked, giving her a challenging look. She swallowed nervously and jerked her head in a nod. Once he'd apparently passed her test, Riley found a few pictures and slid them over to him. Each one showed a ritual circle, not unlike the one he was using last night to try to summon his dad's spirit.

"Well that's magic alright. Pretty serious stuff by the looks of it. If these circles were used as a direct link to kill someone that would require a lot of power." Carson said. An uneasy feeling washed over him as it finally sunk in that a dangerous magician was operating right in this area, killing people in a way that wouldn't leave the police enough evidence to use in court. It was clever, but not that clever. The police have dealt with criminals like that before and the ritual circles in the pictures in front of him were pretty damning evidence if you knew what you were looking at. This magician is making the dangerous assumption that the police would have no idea how magic worked, which was only partially true. Carson made the decision right in that moment to help them if only because it pissed him off that someone thought they could get away with this.

"How does it work?" She asked. Finally, a question he could answer. Circles were magic 101. You didn't need to be very skilled to use symbols and artifacts, that's why they were Carson's go to method of doing any kind of magic.

"Well the circle let's you focus magic in one spot, like putting water in a glass instead of letting it flow. You can draw different shapes and symbols inside depending on what you're using it for. I've never seen this particular symbol before but then again I've never tried to use magic to kill anyone. I also see what looks like blood, candle wax, maybe salt, and a few dark stones I don't recognize. The other objects inside must be specific to the victims."

Carson looked up to see that Riley was scribbling away at a piece of paper. She was actually taking notes, precious. He didn't comment on it though, seeing as he's not a total dick. Instead he marked a few things on the pictures and handed them back to her.

"Thanks that's a good place to start. We already have one suspect, there is no direct link between him and the murders but he's the only powerful magician on the police's radar right now. We think he has the support of a gang..." Riley trailed off as she realized a lot of the assumptions they'd made so far were based on how magicians acted as criminals. In today's society, that's how most magic users were seen. Riley thought Carson seemed different though, completely different. When she went through the database of confirmed magic users most names were attached to a police report, Carson's was attached to medical files from the local hospital. They described a man coming in, speaking with the patient, then finding that that patient had been completely cured. Sometimes Carson picked people randomly, whenever he felt the need to clear his conscience with a good deed. Other times it was for money, after all, he had to pay his rent somehow, and he usually charged significantly less than the hospital did in the long run. A few files reported that same man being admitted for severe exhaustion. It didn’t take them long to put two and two together and figure out who and what he was. What Carson didn’t know was that they would release those files to the government.

Riley cleared her through, “The suspect’s name is Martin Foster, we were hoping you can ask around, see if anyone knows anything about him.”

She meant she wanted him to go talk to all his magician friends. Carson didn’t have the heart to tell her that he didn’t know a single other other magic user. If there was some special club for magicians, he hadn’t been invited. That didn’t mean that he couldn’t dig up something useful though, so all he said was, “sure, I’ll look into it.”

Riley gave him that hopeful smile, “Great, well I’ll give you my information,” her eyes darted around the table as if there weren’t plenty of pens and pieces of scrap paper at her disposal. She picked up a blue one and tore a page of a small notebook, scribbling her cell number, office number, and office address for him, “Oh and I should give you my partner’s info too. He’s in charge of the investigation.” Adding one final number onto the slip of paper she handed it to Carson.

He took it, brain already swirling with ideas, places to check, shady corners to watch. He had a few new tools that needed to be field tested. Grabbing his coffee, Carson got up and left her to gather her mountain of paperwork. It would have been awkward just standing there for the amount of time it would take her to organize the files and put them into her bag. Carson waved as he walked out the door and into the brisk morning air, she quickly waved back with a little too much enthusiasm. His apartment was only a few blocks away but turned around and walked in the other direction, deciding not to go home just yet. Danny’s family owned a bookshop that specialized in rare finds. He’d gotten many of his books on magic there over the years. With the images of the crime scenes still fresh in his memory Carson wanted to do some research on those symbols. He pulled out the slip of paper Riley just gave him and turned it over, pulling a black pen from his coat pocket. Carson drew the symbol as accurately as he could and stuffed the paper and pen back into his pocket for later.

***

Bells chimed as he opened the door to the shop. An older man stepped out from behind a bookshelf to welcome the customer but he just smiled and went back to work when he realized it was just Carson. The man was Daniel’s father, the actual owner of the shop though he let his sons mind the store most days. He only came in when there was a new shipment of books which happened once every week.

“Good morning, Ralph. Do you mind if I look at the new books?” he asked politely. Carson didn’t have the best manners but Daniel’s dad was a little old fashioned so he dusted them off just for him.

“They’re in the back room, knock yourself out.” He said as he shelved a few books.

“Thank you, sir.” The words felt like thick syrup in his mouth but he managed and proceeded to the back of the store. Chances were pretty slim that they had any new books on magic but it didn’t hurt to check. His collection of books was really Carson’s only way to study magic. Since no one would teach him, he’d just have to figure it out himself.

A stack of worn books sat in an opened box on the old oak table. Skimming over the titles he could dismiss the top few easily since he wasn’t looking to start a garden or learn Chinese history. Further in he did find one book. The title on the cover was worn and hard to read but when he opened it he found diagrams of ingredients and verses that might have been enchantments. It could be total nonsense but Carson wouldn’t know until he tried it for himself. He put all the books back into the box in their original order before heading up to the front to buy the book. He used to get the ‘friends and family’ discount but the shop had been struggling lately so he didn’t ask for it anymore. Carson was probably their best customer and he didn’t want them losing any money on him.

Ralph put the book and receipt into a bag carefully. Normally he would have just carried it out but the binding was coming undone in a few spots.

“Are you going to stay and read? Daniel should be coming in for his shift in an hour or so.” Ralph said, handing him the bag with the same caution one would use when handing over a newborn baby.

“No I have some stuff to do at home, I’ll see you around.” Carson smiled.

“Take care.”

Carson left the shop and started heading home. He felt like he had done so much today but it was only noon. Probably because he usually got out of bed around this time.

***

Carson spent most of the day rifling through books looking for that stupid symbol he had seen in the ritual circle. Even the books he had on black magic didn’t cover anything like that and those books had symbols and spells for almost everything dark and mysterious. Maybe he drew it wrong. He had a feeling Riley wouldn’t just hand over copies of evidence from an ongoing investigation so he’d probably have to stop by her office to compare them. He found a few things that didn’t quite match but could definitely be used to kill someone, though he didn’t really want Riley to know that he had that kind of information. Setting his notes aside, Carson got off the couch and stepped around piles of books. He’d cleared off most of the shelves in his search. If it was anything other than magic related he wouldn’t have nearly the same work ethic but he was also driven simply by how bothered he was that someone would do this. No wonder people were scared of magic users.

Carson opened his fridge looking for dinner, and he wasn’t too surprised when he found it nearly empty. God he needed a girlfriend or something. He’d probably be dead by now if Daniel hadn’t, for whatever reason, made it his job to make sure Carson took care of himself. He already ordered take out three times this week so he settled for his pathetic meal of cereal with a side of whiskey to make him forget how pathetic it was. He was just about to take a bite when there was a knocking at the door. He knew right away that it was Daniel because he waited a whole three seconds before unlocking the door and letting himself in.

“I knew it. I fucking knew it.” He said with a smirk.

“What?” Carson said, looking around his apartment for some idea of what he was talking about.

“You. You’re eating cereal for dinner again, no wonder you’re so skinny. Honestly, it hurts to watch. Luckily for us both I brought Chinese if only to spare myself the sight of… that.” Daniel said, making a vague gesture at his bowl and glass of bourbon.

Though Carson wouldn’t admit it, his mouth literally started watering at the scent emanating from the paper bag tucked under his friends arm. He cast the cereal aside, forgotten, and cleared enough space in his living room so they could both sit down.

“Well, aren’t you going to tell me about the girl, and the case, preferably in that order?”

Carson sighed as he opened up a box of rice, “Well she’s young, kinda cute, way too enthusiastic about her job, and she has green eyes, kind of like yours. As for the case, I don’t know much yet other than they’re using circles to do their dirty work. If they want to kill someone they should at least have the dignity to do it themselves and not just use magic.” Carson took a few heavenly bites of tofu and broccoli dripping in brown sauce before continuing, “I’ve been looking for this symbol all day.” He passed the piece of paper over to him so Daniel could get a good look. Despite having no magical ability himself, it was kind of a shared hobby of theirs and Daniel knew almost as much about it as Carson did.

“Mmmm, doesn’t look familiar.” He hummed in thought. “Have you checked…” he lowered his voice and leaned over the table, “the black books.”

He was referring to the small collection of super secret, super dangerous books on black magic which probably were illegal to own. Carson didn’t look at them often, afraid that that alone would be enough to corrupt him somehow.

“Yes I checked the black books. Nothing quite matches, I need to see the original pictures again anyways. Maybe I drew it wrong and all this was for nothing. But you will be glad to know that I made some progress with my other project.”

Daniel’s eyes lit up in a way that Carson had only seen in children. He didn’t understand Daniel’s obsession with magic but then again Carson has had it for most of his life so he tended to take it for granted. Lately they’ve been working on creating some kind of tool that would make it easier to wield other types of energy. They’d tried wands and staffs and all your typical wizardy stuff but it all felt unnatural to Carson. Recently Daniel came up with the idea to enchant a pair of gloves since one of his biggest problems when using magic was that using the lingering energy of other people’s life forces,  also known as souls, tended to make him sick. It was almost like his body treated the foreign energy like an infection when he mixed the energy of different souls and drew it into himself. It was unrealistic to recklessly use his own soul to fuel his magic, he kinda needed that for staying alive. So the idea was that gloves could let him grab hold of the energy without needing to actually bringing it into his body.

Daniel was practically shaking with excitement and Carson rolled his eyes at him as he walked around the set of bookshelves that divided the living room from his bedroom, best he could do in a studio apartment. He had a small cardboard box tucked under his bed filled with all his magical toys and such. A pair of black, leather gloves sat on top. He had needed to make up a new enchantment to make them conducive to magical energy and he almost had it figured out. Carson slipped them on and walked back out to his captive audience.

“Come on, do something already!” Danny begged. He quickly moved everything valuable to one side of the room, which consisted of a few books and the Chinese food.

“Here it goes, I guess, take cover,” Carson said a little uncertainly. He flexed his fingers a few times and closed his eyes, feeling for the energy around him. It was pointless to be wearing the gloves in his own apartment since all the lingering energy there was his own. Soon his fingertips began to tingle as energy was absorbed into the leather. He smiled and let out a small cheer when the energy gathered and stopped there instead of traveling up his arm. He focused his mind on what he wanted to do with it before he could get any further, the gloves caught fire. Like actually caught fire. Daniel was quick to throw a glass of water at him before the alarm could be triggered. Most of the water splashed onto Carson’s face but he did manage to put the gloves out in the process. The whole event left Carson’s heart racing in his chest. Any longer and his fingers would have started burning with them. They both stood there for a confused minute, panting as the panic slowly settled.

“What went wrong?” Daniel broke the silence first.

“Um, maybe the energy in the gloves was too much?” Carson answered with another question, “That’s the only thing that makes sense, too much energy concentrated in one spot.”

“But they worked? Other than that?” Daniel asked hopefully. Carson nodded.

“If I can just find a way to fix that, these could change everything.”

Carson did have other magical artifacts he had successfully enchanted, but none of those could be used for more than one thing, making them useless in combat. He had basic spells for heat and cold, turning things on and off, producing light. But all those things work on their own, they couldn’t directly aid Carson in harnessing and moving energy as cool as they may be. Slipping off the wet and slightly burned gloves Carson decided to work on them later. He had other things to think about. It was starting to get dark outside despite only being 7pm, a sure sign that winter was coming. Riley might still be working at her office or at the station. He decided to try her office first, not wanting to bother her if she was at home. She answered on the third ring.

“Hello this is Riley Miller, what can I help you with?” She asked in a very professional tone. Carson was starting to wonder what part of her job as a junior detective required her own office.

“Hi,” Carson said lamely, “I need to see those pictures again to compare some things.”

“Carson?”

“Yeah,” he said, realizing she might not recognize his voice after only one meeting. “Can I stop by your office?”

“Um, sure, I’ll probably be here for a while.” She said, sounding far less energetic than she had earlier that day. Ugh, Carson groaned in his head, what if she’s one of those weird morning people? He hung up a moment later, already grabbing his things to head over there.

“You can stay and keep searching the books if you want, I’m gonna go to Riley’s office and look at those crime scene photos again.” Carson said as he threw a flannel on over his t-shirt before putting hi jacket on.

“Oh yay, I get to stay here and scour these books all by myself.” Daniel groaned.

“Oh shut up, you own a book store, don’t even pretend you aren’t itching to look through…” Carson whispered, doing his best imitation of how Daniel had said it, “the black books.”

Daniel scowled and turned away from him in mock defiance as he grabbed a few books to start looking through. Carson walked outside and called a cab.

***

The cab stopped right in front of her office at the address he gave the driver. It was especially dark now but a warm, inviting glow lit up her window, making the name and logo etched into the front even more visible. Carson pulled a few crumpled bills out of his pocket and handed them to the driver before stepping out. He shoved his hands in his pockets and walked up the front steps, ready to get out of the cold dark night. It was only mid October but Carson was already tended to run cold and the frigid wind whistling through the buildings wasn’t doing him any favors. He reluctantly dragged one hand back out to knock on the door, it was black and clearly real wood. Her office was in a nice part of town, the buildings here were a little older, a little shorter. The atmosphere was starkly different from where he lived. Riley peaked out the window before opening the door. Her hair was still pulled out of her face in a ponytail but she wore a different shirt from earlier, looking more casual now. Carson noticed a pink tint to her cheeks like she’d been exercising. As he walked further into the room he saw a half empty bottle of wine among stacks of papers on her desk. That explained the flush to her cheeks which, now that he got closer, looked kind of cute on her in contrast with her eyes.

Immediately in front of him upon stepping inside was a small kitchenette with a sink, fridge, and coffee pot. To the right there was a round wooden table up against the window with a few chairs gathered around it. Behind the wall by the kitchen he saw what he guessed to be a bathroom or a closet. Lastly an old leather couch sat in the corner with a low coffee table in front of it that matched her work desk. Needless to say, it was small, everything in New York was but it was well organized aside from the various folders spread around her work space. Carson took his coat off before walking around to the couch. Riley was already looking around for the pictures he had asked to see.

“Do you want anything? Coffee?” she asked, then held up the bottle, “merlot?”

“You got any cream or sugar?” Carson asked, knowing that if he did accept the wine he’d probably melt into the soft leather and fall asleep before he got anything done.

“Sure,” she set the folder she was looking for down on the coffee table then walked into the kitchen.

“I got it,” Carson took a few long strides and beat her to the coffee pot, he was already interrupting her work, she didn’t need to serve him too. Carson found a clean mug hung next to the machine and grabbed some half and half from the fridge. “Sugar?” he asked,

“Bottom shelf in the cupboard in front of you,” she supplied helpfully, returning to her desk.

Carson took the steaming mug with him back to the couch and opened the file folder. The two photos of the ritual circles were at the top of the stack, underneath he caught a glimpse of the other half of one of the crime scenes, he shuddered, pushing the folder away from him. A quick glance at the pictures confirmed that he had copied the symbol down correctly, it really was that hard to find. The only explanation he could think of was that the symbol in the circle was really two symbols drawn on top of each other. He ran a hand over his face wondering why he hadn’t considered that sooner. The lighting wasn’t good enough to distinguish the lines as being two separate things but once he started picking the photo apart, drawing every possible combination, things started to click. He felt a little stupid for not realizing it before, though he didn’t do anything complicated enough to require more than one it wasn’t unheard of layer multiple symbols on top of each other. It could very easily be the basic symbol for a death spell with what looked like two triangles, slightly offset from each other, forming uneven points.

“I think I figured it out,” Carson said, beckoning Riley over to the couch, “come look at this.” Riley got up from her chair a little tiredly and made her way over to sit next to him.

“What am I looking at?” she asked, to her it only looked like a page of notebook paper covered in strange doodles, though there was a clear pattern once she compared it to the photos.

“Well, I couldn’t find this exact symbol anywhere in my books, but then I realized it could be multiple symbols drawn on top of each other inside the circle. This here,” Carson pointed, “is the most common symbol for a death spell. Then these triangles, I’m not sure what they’re for, but they could be used to strengthen or alter the spell.” Carson explained, all a little too quickly. The words just spilled from his mouth as the gears turned in his brain. He looked up to see Riley frowning at him. “What? I thought you wanted to know how it worked?”

“I do. But I can’t overlook the fact that you know the construction of a death spell off the top of your head. There can’t be very many people in Brooklyn, or New York for that matter, that know how to do this.”

Carson let out a long sigh. He should have expected this. No one trusts magicians, and now he’s gone and made himself a suspect.

“Not many people in New York spend all their time reading books and studying magic either. I could also draw the symbol for blocking or amplifying sound off the top of my head.” Carson said.

“Sorry it’s just, you only hear about the bad magicians, so people assume they’re all bad. I know there are plenty of magic users out there that could use their magic to do a lot of harm but instead use it for good, or not at all. Why don’t you try to hide it?” She asked curiously. Carson took a few sips of his coffee and sank back into the sofa.

“Well, I do try to hide. But I can’t just stand by and do nothing when I have the ability to do what I do. Soul magicians also don’t really fall into the same category as other magic users. Throughout history we’ve been known mostly as healers. I can do other things of course, but soul magic and the transferring of life is the easiest for me, and regular magicians can’t touch that kind of energy.” Carson explained, it felt good to talk about it to someone other than Daniel. He just hoped he wasn’t making a mistake trusting her.

“Right, I’ve heard some rumors, stories, but I never really gave it much thought.” She said. “So you can heal people, even bring them back to life?” he nodded. “Can you also use it the other way, to hurt people?”

Carson nearly choked on his coffee, “No, it seems to be a one way exchange.” Carson lied. He searched her face for any sign that she didn’t believe him but didn’t find anything. No reason to make himself seem any more dangerous than he already did. Carson changed the subject by giving Riley a different truth, “there is a downside to it though.”

“Yeah?” She prompted.

“When I’ve brought people back, which only works if they’ve been dead for a few minutes at the most, I’ve seen death. It’s not something you can forget.”

Riley frowned, turning away from him. “What did it feel like?” She asked quietly.

Carson couldn’t contain the full body cringe that came with just thinking about it. He didn’t know how to describe it, didn’t want to. But it was cold, empty, lonely, painful, wrong, and it haunted him.

[flowerfan2]

Bound To Be Together - Ch. 9

McDanno, M, A03 A continuous story of Season 9 codas exploring the bond between Steve and Danny as they grow even closer.

Chapter 9: 9.10

When Danny comes back from his trip to the mainland, Steve doesn’t meet him at the airport.  He isn’t sure he would be able to hold it together on the drive back with Danny and Grace, hearing all about the colleges Grace visited and her unbridled excitement for the future.  Seeing the pride in Danny’s eyes.  Not when Steve’s so strung out, so messed up.

But Steve knows when their flight lands.  Danny texts when he’s on his way over.  He’ll be here any minute.

Steve looks around his kitchen one more time, needing to make sure that there’s no trace of blood left behind, no glaring signs of the attack.  He hasn’t talked to Danny about it, although Steve knows Lou filled him in, once Danny was on his way back to the island already and the crisis was over.

He’s still glad he didn’t let Adam call Danny, even though Danny’s going to rip him a new one for it. At this point Steve probably won’t be able to feel it anyway.

With Joe’s last words, he had praised Steve for looking out for his people.  Steve’s going to take this as approval, from Joe at least, for his decision to keep Danny out of harm’s way this time.  He’ll take what he can get.

He can’t let himself think about whether they might have had better odds at the ranch if Danny had been there.  Because while that might be true, it also could have been Danny bleeding out on the floor, or with a fatal shot to the liver.  It might have been Danny that Steve said goodbye to on an empty field, with the sun painting pictures in the sky.

He can’t let himself think about it, but he’s thinking about it anyway, in whorls and circles and spirals that won’t let him rest.

 He hears the front door open and close, and sags with relief.

 “Hey, babe, it’s okay. It’s okay.”

 Strong arms wrap around his shoulders, and Steve digs his face into the thin fabric of Danny’s shirt. Steve’s thoughts quiet with Danny’s touch, and he wants to bury himself in him and never come out.

 “Kitchen’s floor’s not so comfortable.  How about we take this into the living room?”

 Steve doesn’t remember sliding to the floor.  But right now, he can’t be bothered to figure it out.  He lets Danny help him to his feet, and they stumble together to the couch, settling close, Steve clutching Danny’s shirt in his fists.

 “I’m so sorry about Joe,” Danny murmurs.  “So sorry. He was a good man.  I know how much he meant to you.”

 Steve starts to reply, and chokes on his words, swallowing them and rubbing his face against Danny’s chest.

 “For all his crazy, he was like a father to you.  You loved him, and he loved you too.”

 It’s like Danny can see straight into his heart, the wounded place still throbbing from his loss, and this makes Steve cry even harder.  Danny <i>knows</i> him.

 It’s what makes Joe’s death even worse, because Joe gave Steve the perfect opening to tell him about Danny, and Steve chickened out.  Steve’s falling apart, clinging to Danny like the proverbial lifeboat, counting on him to get him safely to shore.  But Steve is so used to hiding that he missed his chance to let Joe know that he isn’t alone.  Or to give Danny the credit he deserves.

 He’s not sure how to say any of this to Danny.  “I didn’t…” Steve starts.  “I should have…” But the tears are coming in earnest now, hard, wracking sobs, and he can’t get any words out.

 “Shh, it’s okay.  You’re okay.” Danny holds him and rubs his back, until Steve can finally catch his breath.

 “Danny, there’s something… I need to tell you something.”

 Danny sits back, and Steve can see now how wrecked he looks, too, dark circles under reddened eyes.    “Are you taking off again to an undisclosed location to be a target for armed thugs? Because if so, I really don’t want to hear it.”

 “No, I…”

 “Lou said you weren’t in any danger right now, that the Omar situation was under control.”

 “Yeah, as far as I know.”  Not in any more danger than usual, anyway.

 “Well then I vote we wait until morning, for…”  Danny lets out a long breath, and looks away from Steve, face drawn with exhaustion. “Well, for anything.  Especially talking.  Because I haven’t slept in a lot of hours, and I’m guessing you haven’t either.  And I don’t want to say anything I’ll regret.”

 Danny’s trying to tamp down his anger, Steve can tell, in the face of Steve’s abject sadness.  Steve gets it.  He’d be pissed, too, more than, if Danny had kept him in the dark about something that threatened his safety.  He figured at the time that Danny would get over it, but being face to face with Danny’s hurt and echoes of stale fear forces him to remember that there’s more than one way to lose him.

 But Danny’s still holding him, one arm around his shoulders, the other stroking restlessly down Steve’s uninjured arm.  He doesn’t seem to be going anywhere.

 “You’ll stay?”  Steve asks.

 Danny’s shoulders slump, and he bumps his forehead tiredly against Steve’s.  “’Course I’m gonna stay, you goof.  Least then it’ll be two against one if some hired assassin comes crashing through your door.  Again.”

 Steve musters what little energy he has left and stands, clasping Danny’s hand as he goes.  They make it upstairs and strip to their boxers without ceremony, climbing under the covers and arranging themselves close, Danny curled protectively around Steve.

 It reminds Steve of the night after the sensory deprivation tank, except then they hadn’t acknowledged what they felt for each other.  Suddenly it’s important to mark the difference, and Steve turns over, cradling Danny’s jaw and pulling him in for a long, hard kiss.

 “Mmm,” Danny hums, pulling back just enough to breathe, while letting his lips slide over Steve’s. “Love you.”

 Danny says it so easily, so matter of factly.  Not lightly – Steve knows Danny would never say it lightly.  But like it’s normal, obvious.  Like it goes without saying.

 Not tonight, though. “I love you too, Danny.  I should say it more often.  I shouldn’t be afraid to say it.”

 Danny, tired as he is, pushes at Steve’s arm and raises an eyebrow at him.  “What’s that supposed to mean?  You say it all the time.”

 Shit, Steve thinks. Sleeping first would probably have been a better idea.

 “Not where anyone else can hear it.”

 Danny starts to argue with him – because Steve has said “I love you” to Danny dozens of times in front of the team.  But not since they’ve been together.  Not with the new meaning, the “I’m in love with you” meaning.  

 Danny flops over on to his back.  “I really don’t think we should talk about this right now, babe.”

 “But I-“

 “We knew we were going to have to deal with it.  Whether to tell anyone, what to tell them.  But honestly, I am so sick with worry right now, worried about how you’re dealing with losing Joe and international terrorists being after you and your whole goddamn Seal team dying on you,” Danny barely pauses to catch a breath, “and at the same time I’m so fucking angry at you for letting me keep gallivanting through the ivy leagues while it all went down…  I really don’t think I could do my best work right now.”  Danny’s still gazing up at the ceiling, but he hasn’t let go of Steve, one hand latched on to Steve’s wrist.

 “Danny, please…” Steve doesn’t even know what he’s trying to say, just that he needs this not to break them, for it not to be too much for Danny to handle.  For Danny to keep understanding.

 Danny turns and looks at Steve, and then gathers him up in his arms.  It feels so good, the strength of Danny’s muscles holding him tight, his stubbly face against his cheek.  It’s an escape right now, he knows it, but he can’t bring himself to turn it away.  

 “I promise you, Steve, we’re gonna work this out,” Danny says, low and intense.  “Whatever you’re thinking, whatever you’re freaking out about, we’ll work it out.  Together. Like every other time.  Okay?”

 “Okay.”

 *****

Sleep had come faster than Steve had thought it would, and when he finally rouses, it’s to bright sunlight coming through the window and the aroma of strong coffee.

 Danny isn’t in bed any longer, but the mug on the nightstand is steaming so he must have just left it for Steve.  Steve hauls himself upright, his body aching and sore, and sips at the coffee until it’s cool enough to drink it down.

 He can hear Danny downstairs, muttering to himself about something and clicking away on his laptop, so he heads into the bathroom and takes a long, hot shower.  He puts off assessing all his cuts and bruises – there’s nothing major, which is a miracle, really – and dries quickly.  He takes a few minutes to shave.  Maybe if he looks presentable enough, Danny will go easy on him.

 Finally, after pulling on shorts and a t-shirt, Steve pads downstairs.

 Danny’s at the table, nodding as he types.

 “Work?”  Steve asks.

 “No.  Grace sent me a draft of one of her college essays.  She doesn’t like it when Rachel proofreads them, says she’s too picky.  She just wants to me to let her know ‘if it’s okay.’”  Danny looks up at Steve.  “I have no idea what she wants me to do.”

 Steve laughs at Danny’s perplexed expression, and it feels good.  Danny isn’t lying in wait to ambush him with accusations or threats. He’s just up early, bringing him coffee and emailing with Grace.  Danny’s here for him, just like he said he’d be.

 “Can we talk now?” Steve asks.  There’s not going to be a better time.

 “Sure.”  Danny turns back to his computer for a moment to save his work.

 “Outside?”

 Danny nods, and they go out on to the lanai.  Steve keeps walking down to the edge of the water, until the waves lap over his feet. Danny follows him, hands in his pockets.

 “You’re doing my laundry,” Danny says conversationally, as he comes up to Steve and bumps their arms together.  The waves are soaking the hems of his jeans.  The fact that Danny isn’t protesting more says something about the progress of their relationship that Steve can’t parse right now.

 The sea is glinting in the early morning sun, and the air is already warm.  Steve curls his toes in the sand, feels the soft grit against his skin.

 “Joe’s been living in Nairobi.  Not consulting anymore.”

 Steve’s not looking at Danny, but out of the corner of his eye, he sees him tilt his head, listening.

 “He’s got – had – a girlfriend.  Zahra.” It feels important to say her name. “He told me-” Steve’s voice catches, and he swallows and goes on.  “He told me not to wait as long as he did to find someone.  Said he sat out too long, and I shouldn’t do the same thing.”

 Squaring his shoulders, he turns to face Danny.  “I should have told him, then, about you and me.  I didn’t.”

 Steve sees Danny take this in, turn it over in his head.  He thinks he can pinpoint the moment Danny decides how to respond.  But what Danny says couldn’t have surprised him more if he’d dove into the ocean and swam away like a mermaid.

 “Why?”

 “What?”

 “Why, exactly,” Danny says, moving in front of Steve and putting his hands on his forearms, “why <i>should</i> you have told him?”

 “’Cause it’s not fair to you.  It’s not… right.”

 Danny shakes his head a little, not satisfied with this.  “I’m not upset about that.  That doesn’t bother me, you know that.  That isn’t the issue.  Try again. Why isn’t it right?”

 “Because – it’s just wrong.” And Danny’s right, that’s not the only problem with Steve’s silence.  “Joe wants – wanted  - me to be happy.  I should have told him I was happy.”

 “Are you happy?”

 Steve’s chest clenches. “You know I am.”

 Danny nods, not arguing, a little smile reflecting how this thought could derail the conversation.  Danny does know, and fuck, if that doesn’t mean a lot.

 “You really think Joe didn’t know that?  That you’re in a good place?  That you’re living a good life?”  Danny asks.

 Steve thinks back on their conversations at the ranch, and at the end, by the ponderosa pine.  About Joe’s reassurance that Steve took care of his “people.”  And about an earlier conversation that day, where Joe got him talking about what was going on in his life, and Steve told him all about how he and Danny were famous comic book heroes now, about Charlie’s favorite bedtime story, about how Grace is sailing through high school.

 “I dunno.  Maybe.”

 “Would it make you feel better to tell him?”

 Steve looks at Danny like he’s nuts, but Danny is being serious.  “It’s too late.”

 “Is it?”  Danny reaches over and cups Steve’s cheek.  “You can tell him now.  Or not.  But there’s no ‘should’ in this, no right and wrong.  This – what we have-”  Danny motions between them, then grabs Steve’s hand, “this is ours.”

 Danny pulls Steve down for a kiss, one that leaves no room for doubt.  “We will tell people when and if we’re ready.  The fact that we haven’t done it yet doesn’t make it any less real. Does that work for you?  ‘Cause it works for me.”

 Steve feels something inside him release, something hurtful and worrisome float away on the waves, washed away by the force of Danny’s belief in him.  In them, together.  “Yeah, Danny. That works for me.”

 Steve wraps an arm around Danny’s shoulder, tugging him close, and looks out over the water.  It’s an entirely different view than sunset over the field by Joe’s land, but just like that was for Joe, this place is home for Steve.  With this man.  No matter who knows it.

[shinobicyrus]

“Compromises”

A late entry for Phanniemay Day 23: Wardrobe. This may or may not have come from a draft I never finished back in 2016....Still counts!

“Nuh-uh. I am drawing a line at makeup.”

Maddie still held the...makeup...pen...thingy in her fingers like a surgeon’s scapel. “A little mascara can go a long way, Danielle.”

“So it can go on without me,” Dani crossed her arms mutinously. She’d have crossed her legs too but they were cold and too-smooth and weird. Not to mention her scalp was still raw from Maddie’s merciless regimen of washing, straightening, and combing Dani’s hair as though it had personally offended her. Probably submitted an article to a nerd-journal criticizing her research and called jumpsuits dumb.  

“I know that look,” Maddie rolled her eyes like she was the one suffering, but still returned the makeup back into the military-style hardcase she’d pulled the thing out of and snapped it shut. Oh, thank God.

“Danny give you the same look when you put him in a dress and pulled his brain out from his roots?”

“Picture day. Fourth grade. He had a black eye and absolutely refused to let me cover it with makeup. He just wanted to stay home.”

“How’d he get the black eye?”

“Some boy probably gave it to him at school, but he never said.”

“That’s because you would have raised hell about it and tattling just makes it worse,” Danny leaned against the doorway to Dani’s room, not quite crossing into it. Either it was respect to Dani’s personal space or some old holdout instinct back when it used to be Jazz’s room and entry portended big-sister lectures. 

“You know,” he said, failing to suppress a grin. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in a dress. Like, ever.” 

“Go make out with a Thermos, jerk.” Dani fussed with the hem of her dress. “I look stupid.”

“You look lovely, Danielle,” Maddie nudged a stray bang away from Dani’s face. She always did that, without fail: used Dani’s full name every single time. “Although I wish you’d waited for me instead of trying to shave your legs yourself.” 

“I think the Fenton band-aids really bring the whole outfit together,” Danny said, because of course he got to wear a nice, comfortable black suit and a tie that matched the blue of his eyes. 

Dani flipped him the bird, putting a little ecto-flame at the fingertip for good measure. Hell yeah, Superpowered Eff-You, for when a normal Eff-You just wasn’t enough. “Why can't I be the one that gets the wear a suit? Everyone knows Danny can pull of a dress better than me.”

“Oh I am going to kill Tucker he swore he deleted those pictures!”

Maddie clenched her fists, gloves creaking dangerously. “Because the school board are a pack of anachronistic, narrow-minded, uptight little suburban dingbats that are lucky I limit my violence to the already dead.” 

Danny and Danielle stared. 

Remembering herself, Maddie put an apologetic hand on Dani’s shoulder. “I’m sorry we didn’t have more time, sweetie. Maybe by the time it’s your prom, you can wear whatever you like.”

Dani snorted. By the time her prom came around, everyone else would already be graduated. “Yeah, great. Who would I even go with?”

Danny cleared his throat conspicuously and made a few covert, ‘no no don’t go there’ gestures to Maddie that Danielle couldn’t see.

“But you can still have fun tonight, can’t you?” Maddie tried to cheer her up.  “I know it’s not ideal, but your fath...Jack stayed up all night getting your dress ready for tonight. There’s no harm in giving it a try, is there?”

Guiltily, Danielle gave Maddie her most reassuring smile. Both of them ignored her slip of the tongue. As long ago as it felt, three years wasn’t all that much time- even if it was more than half of Dani’s pathetically brief existence. 

Coming to terms with their son being half-ghost was one thing, but finding out they had a clone-daughter? It wasn’t like she was a traditional surprise-child from faulty birth control or some torrid affair. She was the result of genetic piracy; the world’s most fucked-up copyright infringement.  

They didn’t have to take her in. They didn’t owe her anything, and they still went through all the trouble of making a fake paper trail so she could do 'normal’ things like go to school- which Danielle was personally not a fan, but even Danny told her it was ‘important.’ It was a small price to pay for a soft bed and three square meals a day. 

(Mads had been aghast that she’d had been crashing at Val’s apartment on and off for months, with Mr. Gray none the wiser. Jack had been mostly confused about Dani sleeping in a closet but equally adamant she come and stay ‘where she belonged.’)

She still couldn’t call them Mom and Dad. That was just. It was weird. Sometimes she wished she could. Then maybe she could pretend that she was...

But no. She wasn’t.  

So they were Maddie and Jack. Danny existed in some weird cousin/twin/ecto-brother continuum, why would things with his/their parents be straightforward? Technically, Dani didn’t need to stay at Fenton Works. If she wanted, she could grab her backpack and fly away, completely drop off the grid again. She had the power. It had been more than a temptation, once or twice. 

She stayed. They experimented and improvised and somehow invented a new species of family that had never existed before. It got bumpy. Sometimes there were fights. Jazz, away at Yale but always a phone call away, reminded her constantly that relationships weren’t about winning fights. You had to compromise. 

So Dani went to school, but stipulated permission to sleep over at Val’s, sometimes. They let her patrol with Danny, but only after homework. She let Maddie pretty her up, and Maddie didn’t push her hard about the makeup. Jack stayed up all night adjusting one of Jazz’s old dresses- the least Dani could do was wear it. Not like she had a closet full of other options. 

(Sam and Val had offered to take her shopping. The idea of Val watching her try on dresses...)

Danielle shook her head. “No. I guess I can try it. Just for tonight.”

“That’s my girl.”

It came out so naturally; Danielle flushed with a mixture of embarrassment and pride. 

With her door open into the hall, the sound of the front door opening carried upstairs, a voice familiar but muffled through floorboards calling out. 

“That must be Tuck,” Danny said. “See you downstairs, I owe him a punch in the arm.” 

“I should get down there too,” Maddie said after Danny had left. “I promised Tucker’s mother pictures of the boys together in their suits. You come down when you’re ready, okay sweetie.”

“Kay.”

 Smiling down at her ruefully, Maddie cupped Danielle’s face and planted a quick peck on her forehead. (The first time she’d tried to do that, Dani had panicked and Maddie had almost fallen face-first into the floor through her intangible head. Progress!)

After she left, Danielle sighed and smoothed down the dress as if it would improve things...and felt two weird bumps in the fabric around waist-high.

“Huh?” Patting herself down, Dani found a pair of hidden pockets woven seamlessly into the dress. Digging around this new discovery she found...a pack of sour candies labeled in marker with Jack’s sloppy handwriting: ‘Fenton Emergency Snacks!’

“Oh sweet! Pocket Candy!” It took every ounce of willpower not to tear into them right then and there, but she knew she’d definitely be needing them later in the night. Instead, she rifled around her room trying to remember where she left her phone- hidden in the folds of her Star Wars blanket, of course- and experimentally put it into her new kickass Jack-Pockets.

It slid in perfectly. Oh hell yes.

Normally Danielle shopped in the men’s section because the sizes made sense and the pockets were real, but she never considered going to Jack to get slightly girlier clothes altered after she got them. Not like dresses or anything, but Sam wore some pretty kickass skirts that Danielle was totally looking at purely for fashion tips and no other reason. She could always try that.

Her own reflection flashed her the corner of her eye, a swish of blue in the full-length mirror.

The dress wasn’t all that bad, really. Jack had done a great job. Knee-length, the same shade of blue as Maddie’s jumpsuit- which as it turned out matched Dani’s eyes pretty well. 

Her legs still itched like they were covered in cobwebs, feeling every miniscule little shift in the air, or when the hem of the dress brushed against her pale skin, cut smooth and dotted with bright greens and oranges. 

Yeah...the Fenton bandaids definitely were not flattering. 

Playing with her phone reminded her she still had a promise to keep. Pulling up the camera function, she stepped back, sized up the image of herself in the mirror, and took the picture. Deleted it, tried again by sticking out her tongue and making her eyes glow bitter, ghosty green. 

‘If you think this is bad, imagine if I’d let the Madd-Scientist break out the mascara’

Aaaand...send. 

The response pinged back in less than twenty seconds. 

JAZZ: You look adorable. I hear Red and Blue go great together ;)

Dani typed back, Quiet you, and pocketed  (yeeessss) her phone back into her dress before Jazz text jedi mind-tricked her to talk about feelings. Girl is freaky, sometimes. Below her feet, the telltale sounds of Danny-Tucker bickering soaked up through the creaky floorboards.

...welp, she was going to have to face the music eventually, right?

The house-rule against floating still couldn’t stop her from hopping downstairs two at a time, feet thumping loudly. 

Danny and Tucker were in the living room, arms around each other while Maddie and Jack were taking photos. Maddie was taking a few with Tucker’s phone while Jack was snapping pictures with an blocky, black camera that looked positively ancient. 

“Does that thing use film?” Danielle said incredulously. “Where do you even get that developed.” 

“We develop our own film!” Jack boasted. “The patented Fenton Emulsion(TM) not only lets us take cherished family memories, but also catalogue any lurking, invisible ghosts that might be photobombing!”

Before Dani could give that its proper response, Tucker gasped loudly and dramatically. “Oh. My. God. Danielle?! What happened to you?”

“Ha-ha so funny I’m in a dress wow I’m so glad we got to share this moment together and bond closer as friends.”

“You’re in a dress!” Tucker ignored her, hell-bent on milking this for all it was worth. Running to her like a distressed parent, he shook her shoulders. “Who did this to you Dani? It’s okay, you can tell me, I’m here for you.”

“This is because I told Danny about your embarassing picture stash, isn’t it?”

“There’s a stash?!”

“Oops.”

“It actually looks good on you,” Tucker tapped his chin, pouting the thoughtful moue of a guy who spent a lot time designing his MMO characters’ outfits. “I think the bandaids-”

“Already made that joke,” Danny piped up.

“Dammit,” Tucker muttered, then remembered who else was in the room. “Uh...I mean ‘oh gosh darnit.’”

Maddie rolled her eyes. “Oh please, as if all three of you don’t swear like a pack of sailors on shore leave.”

“Darn right,” Danielle grinned at Tucker. “You don’t look half bad, Tuck.” She reached up and flicked the beret-red bow tie around his neck. “Look at you all snazzy.”

He did actually look pretty dang handsome, Dani had to admit. The striped shirt and the bow tie was a bit of a 90s- maybe it was an old suit of his Dad’s- but he filled out pretty well. Tuck may not have been going to the dance with a date, but Dani was willing to bet money that he’d get a couple of offers when they all got there.

“I thought we were supposed to be snazzy together though!” Tucker said. “We had a plan!”

“School board nixed it. No gals in snazzy suits, the world isn’t ready.”

“Well if it’s any consolation, I think you look beautiful.”

The complete, utter frankness he said it made Danielle’s cheeks redden. “I- Tuck...I-”

“Not as pretty as Danny if he was wearing it but-”

“Tucker I have invisibility powers and a long, long memory.” Danny warned him.

“Well Danny can’t have this dress it’s awesome and mine, check it:” She pulled out her phone and candy from its pockets.

“Hey!” Jack exclaimed. “You found the emergency snacks!”

“I did and it was awesome,” shuffling on uncertain feet, Danielle willed herself to cross the living room and threw her arms around him. He was still so big- her face was buried in his stomach and she could barely get his arms around him, and when he hugged her back it felt like being enclosed, his arms were so wide. 

(the ghost of a stolen childhood memory, Danny small and at an age before black eyes at school, when his dad was the smartest, strongest guy in the world and nothing bad could happen when you were in those arms)

“Thanks, Jack. You made dresses cool.”

“Yes! Hear that, Maddie? I’m cooool.” 

“Not what I said but I’ll let you have it.”

“The coolest, hun.” Maddie agreed, with the telltale sound of a shuttering camera. “And thank you for the new wallpaper.”

“Does this mean we’re finally done with the pictures?” Danny asked. 

“I suppose it makes sense to wait until the girls get here.” Maddie allowed. 

“Why are they the ones picking us up again?” Tucker piped in. “Like, isn’t it traditional for the guys to be picking up the girls?”

“Not when Sam sprung for a luxury party-limo.”

Tucker accepted this without hestiation. “Ha, take that gender norms.” 

Danielle fidgeted with the blue sash tied around her wait. “Did...uh...did they say when they were going to be here?”

The doorbell of course chose at that moment to chime; Danielle almost jump-floated to the ceiling.

Danny grinned at her smugly. “She might have mentioned it, yeah.”

Asshole. He gave their face a bad name.

"Oh fine, I’ll get it,” Tucker threw up his arms, muttering to himself all the way. “Not even my house but sure.”

Danny furtively adjusted his tie and smoothed his hands down his suit-jacket. Danielle failed to ignore the almost identical mannerism she’d used when double-checking her dress. 

God, they were dorks. 

They couldn’t see anything from the doorway, just Tucker standing in the hall and leaning in to hug someone. Stepping aside like a bowing gentlemen, he held open the door and-

And.

Well, damn. 

“Oh Sam, you look wonderful,” Maddie gushed. “She looks lovely, doesn’t she Danny?”

It wasn’t as dark as Danielle guessed. The gown was a deep, smokey violet from the waist down; the two halves of a black bodice laced together in an intricate filigree that left just a sliver of suggestion of skin beneath a sheer, black fabric that also covered her bare, strapless shoulders like a mourning shawl. 

“Blugh,” was the limit of the words that Danny could manage.

“That good, huh?” Sam’s purple lips quirked. The mascara shadowing her eye sockets made the matching violet of her eyes that much more striking.

“Don’t forget to exhale, Danny,” Dani suggested in a sotto whisper.

A familiar voice carried through the door. “Okay, the driver said he’s fine with waiting while we take some pictures. My dad made me promise to take about three million pictures of us all before we- oh.” 

Valerie stood in the living room’s threshold, phone half-raised but completely forgotten in her hand. 

She was wearing a ruby red dress that flowed smoothly over her curves, flaring just above her knees and terminating in an upside down ‘V’ at her collarbone that tied subtly around her neck, leaving the sweep of her shoulders bare. The muscles of her arms stood out, firm and corded.  

Dani realized that Valerie was staring at her. This fact alone made her ten thousand times more aware that her legs were naked and bare and itching with phantom prickles oh God the band-aids why did she think it was a good idea to try shaving the night of-

“Uh. Hi.” Valerie cut through the screaming white noise filling her head.

“Blugh.” Danielle responded. Tucker gave her a thumbs-up. In the corner of her eye, she saw Danny fumble tying a purple corsage around Sam’s slender wrist.

“You look amazing,” Valerie told her. Dani found the movements needed for her full, red lips to make those words fascinating. 

Her throat felt unbelievable dry.

“It’s the band-aids!” Danielle blurted. “Really brings the whole outfit together!”

Valerie blinked, momentarily confused. Then she looked down. 

“Oh my God,” she laughed, hand flying to her mouth. “What did you do to yourself?”

“Mistakes were made.” Danielle admitted. “I have traced them back to the decision to wear a dress.”

“Doesn’t look like a mistake from where I’m standing.” Valerie smiled at her, which was all the permission Dani’s guts needed to start doing backflips in her belly. “And you can look forward to taking it off at the end of the night-”

She froze in mute horror the second the words left her mouth.

Danny and Sam’s heads swiveled, first to Valerie, then to Danielle, finally swinging around to Maddie, whose face had gone unreadably blank. 

Tucker had the manic look of a man who had been given a wonderful, wonderful gift.

“I swear,” Valerie said slowly. “I did not mean it to sound like that.”

“Make it sound like what?” Jack asked, genuinely confused. 

“I’ll tell you when you’re older,” Maddie told him.

The room was very quiet. Danielle slowly reached into her pockets and pulled out her emergency snacks. She tore open the packet and offered it to Valerie. “Topic change?”

“Please.” Desperately snatching the candy like a woman being carefully studied by a mother with access to high-powered weaponry, Valerie chewed through a handful of candies before realizing: “Wait...how does your dress have pockets?”

“Oh that was me!” Jack boasted. “Sewing isn’t that much harder than jumpsuit maintenance! I used to make all of Danny’s Halloween Costumes before he got too “cool” for it.”

Somehow, this quickly jumped into Sam insisting on seeing pictures of Danny dressed as an Astronaut or one of the Ghost Busters, which seamlessly steered back them standing all together while Maddie and Jack took more pictures; Danny with one arm around Sam’s waist and the other linked with Tucker’s, Valerie hugging Danielle from behind and resting her chin on Dani’s shoulder to fit both of them in frame. 

By some miracle consensus, no one said anything about Valerie’s hilariously and unfortunately-worded slip-up. 

All through the photos, and even as Valerie held her hand and walked with her out the door, Danielle felt at the pocket at her waist with her free hand, checking to make sure the Fenton Emergency Snacks were still there.

Yeah she really owed Jack big time, now. 

[detroithistoricalsociety]

I’ll Be There For You, When You Can’t Find the Door?

Nestled within the archives of the Detroit Historical Society are a pair of surprising pop culture artifacts–copies of the draft lyrics for both the theme song of the 90s T.V. hit Friends, and for the Pointer Sisters’ 1984 single “Neutron Dance.”  The Detroit connection for these two songs may not be readily apparent to many, but if you check the sleeve of your well-worn copy of the Pointer Sister’s album Break Out, and pay close attention to the end credits of Friends, you’ll find the common factor is proud Detroit native Allee Willis.  Willis’ signature works may be her collaborations with Earth, Wind, and Fire, including their funk classic “September.”  However she has worked with a myriad of other artists, ranging from Bonnie Raitt to DMC, and Patti LeBelle to the Del Rubio Triplets.  In fact, you very well may have recently joined Willis as one of the 5,000 Detroiters who contributed their voices to her recent anthem for the city, “The D,” which she recorded over the course of five years at various events across the area, including stops at both the Detroit Historical Museum and the Dossin Great Lakes Museum.  Willis, hot on the heels of being honored with a Distinguished Detroiter award at the 2018 Detroit Music Awards, agreed to answer a couple questions for our blog about the draft lyrics, her creative process, and her other works.

On page 20, the chorus to “I’ll Be There For You” begins to shape up.

Across 27 typewritten pages, the lyrics to what eventually would become the 45-second Friends theme, “I’ll Be There For You,” reveal an involved process.  Willis began by working directly from the show’s pilot; “I watched the pilot and wrote down every characteristic of every character and then tried to make up lines about them.”   From these concepts flowed a litany of possible frustrations felt between the characters—ranging from dealing with the smells of second-hand aroma therapy to the tolls of freeloading roommates—contrasted with the now iconic affirmation of support expressed in the chorus.  Willis explained, “when you’re writing for something so specific as a TV theme you try every possible permutation of every line that you like. The only thing the producer of the show told me was that the title was to be ‘I’ll Be There for You.’ So I had at least 25 different choruses to sing for the producers with that line in it and at least 50 verses when I presented it to them.” About these unused lines, she continued, “if a line is really great and doesn’t get used in a song I catalog it and usually end up using it in something else. But the Friends lyric had to be so specific and so simple that I didn’t save any of those lines for further use.”

With Willis’ lyrics to set the tone, Friends drew millions of viewers each Thursday between 1994 and 2004.  Image courtesy imdb.com.

Reading the drafts today, there’s almost a sense of inevitability each time one of the final lyrics first appears.  Willis describes how these breakthroughs played out during the writing process; “The first line I got that I knew was a keeper was ‘Your job’s a joke, you’re broke, your love life’s DOA.’  I always liked internal rhymes, especially on long lines.  And the ‘A’ in ‘DOA’ is a great syllable to hold if the note is long. Second one I got that I knew was a keeper was ‘Well it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month or even your year.’  Something was falling apart in the lives of all the characters and I liked making a play on a common phrase.”

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In her notes, Willis mentions performing early versions of the theme for the show’s producers on the studio lot.  While reading the lyrics, it’s tempting to attempt to sing along yourself to see how these early drafts might have sounded.  When asked if these nascent versions of the theme followed the now familiar final melody, Willis responded, “The melody, written by Michael Skloff, remained the exact same from the time it was written to what we ended up with. I usually write both music and lyrics but I needed one more song to fulfill my publishing deal, which I was eager to get out of. So I agreed to just write the lyric. I never expected it to be a hit.”

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Willis’ “Neutron Dance” is widely remembered for scoring the chase through the streets of—appropriately—Detroit near the beginning of the 1984 classic Beverly Hills Cop.  However it was originally conceived for a very different movie, Walter Hill’s cult “rock & roll fable” Streets of Fire.  Befitting that film’s bleak yet musical retro-futuristic setting Willis bridged the concepts of 1950s doo-wop with nuclear devastation, and brought in a bit of her own experiences.  Willis elaborates, “I hadn’t seen Streets of Fire before writing the song but was told that people were trying to escape a nuclear holocaust. So I knew that the hook line had to have something to do with fire, explosion, or nuclear something.”

Even within that premise, Willis made the song’s themes personal and easily relatable.  She reveals, “The entire song was written in under an hour. It was very autobiographical. It was the first time in years that I had gone without hits and I wanted to write a song about not giving up and that if your life isn’t working it’s up to you to make a change. Someone could push the button tomorrow and we’d all be up in smoke so get off your ass and do something—i.e. Do the Neutron Dance. When we (co-wrote with Danny Sembello) finished the song in 58 minutes we had everything but the title.”

Willis brainstormed a series of concepts evocative of nuclear war, before settling on “Neutron Dance.”

Among the photographic reproductions of her handwritten notes, Willis included the page where she brainstormed possible titles; “As a working title we had ‘I’m just burning on the barbecue.’ I knew the ‘I’m just burning’ was right but knew ‘barbecue’ couldn’t stay, especially because the song wasn’t about barbecue. I kept wanting to use the word ‘neutron’ and was driving down the 405 freeway in LA one day and the words just popped into my head like a glowing neon sign. ‘Neutron Dance’ seemed appropriate as it got the burning point across but added some fun with the use of the word ‘dance’.”  Willis explains that the song was “thankfully rejected” from Streets of Fire, and instead recorded by the Pointer Sisters.  It was this version which made its way onto the Grammy-winning Beverly Hills Cop soundtrack.  Perhaps as an auspicious sign, in that movie, Eddie Murphy’s Axel Foley sports a t-shirt from Mumford High School, Willis’ alma mater.

Beverly Hills Cop opened with a chase through the streets of Detroit set to the Pointer Sisters’ “Neutron Dance.”  Image courtesy imdb.com.

Of course, I also had to ask Willis about the endearing legacy of “September.”  Every September 21st, the song leaps back to the forefront the popular consciousness, making its presence known both over the radio waves, and in recent years as a trending topic on social media.  Was this annual relevance by design?  And just what was the significance of that date anyway?  Willis explained, “The only thing I knew about September when I started writing it with Maurice White, who had already started the music with the Earth, Wind & Fire guitar player Al McKay, was that he wanted ‘September’ as the title. We wrote it the first day we met. We tried singing every date of the month but the 21st felt the best. I only found out a month ago from his wife, almost 40 years after the song was written, that September 21st was the due date of their son. But at that time as far as I knew it was just the date that sang the best.”

Along with the lyrics, Willis also donated copies of several records that she worked on, including this 45 of Earth, Wind & Fire’s “September” from 1978.

Last month, ahead of schedule, September became a topic of hot debate when Taylor Swift released a fiercely maligned country-tinged cover of the funk classic.  Willis was initially supportive of news of the cover, but her response became more measured upon hearing it.  Willis has promised to address the controversy in her upcoming performance, “Allee Willis Loves Detroit,” at the City Theatre on May 18th and 19th.  When asked for a hint as to how she’ll be tackling the Swift situation, Willis shrewdly responded, “For that you’re going to have to come to the show! No teasers. I will just say that the show is very very funny, stuffed with hits, filled with detailed stories about how the songs were written, I auction off stuff from my vast pop culture collection, and I guarantee it’s unlike any other songwriter show you seen before. And I talk about Taylor Swift. Prepare for a wild evening!”

I’ll Be There For You, When You Can’t Find the Door? Nestled within the archives of the Detroit Historical Society are a pair of surprising pop culture artifacts--copies of the draft lyrics for both…