#neil gaiman askbox

[idliketobeatree]

oh look, we got real BTS footage of david tennant getting out of that box they keep him in between the shootings

(gif)

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

why are you awake at 5 in the morning

Why? Love.

[freytful]

I read the “Good omens 2 is bad on purpose” theory and while the author is annoying it does make sense! However I don’t think they’re aware that if it’s true it could only ever be the death/rebirth type set up for an End of Evangelion style “I Hate Every Single One Of You” ending

[teacup-captor]

I am angry with you for making me feel things (regarding s2 episode 6 of Good Omens) but I am very happy for you making me feel things (all the rest of Good Omens, and like the first 30~ish minutes of s2 ep 6) and I'm even angrier that you're telling everyone they probably need to feel what they're feeling because you're so damn right. You have got me thinking about traumas, events and needs that I do not wish to think about, but you've also given me characters to love, adore and relate to, to occupy my brain when I'm feeling bored, and for all of that I THANK you but I also do wish I could shake you just a little and let out a pathetic little wail at the same time

[indigovigilance]

Continuity Errors

Crowley can stop time. We’ve noticed buggy things about time. Let’s talk about it.

I’m going to start with an overview of every time he has definitely frozen time in order to establish the mechanics of Crowley’s time-stopping power in the GO universe. Then, I’m going to talk about other events where Crowley may have stopped time, and it wasn’t (directly) shown to the audience.

or read this 3,500 word beast of a meta on Ao3

edit: if you're deciding whether or not to read this, check out the reblog notes!

Opening obligatory "do not put anything about this in Neil Gaiman's askbox"

Crowley freezes time locally, selectively exempting individuals

S1E2

In S1E2, Crowley freezes time at the corporate training ground to interrogate Mary Hodges, formerly Sister Mary Loquacious (played by Nina Sosanya, actor for Nina in S2). It may seem like she’s just hypnotized and time is progressing normally around all of them, but that isn’t the case. Immediately before Crowley hypnotizes Hodges, we can hear gunfire in the background; a few seconds before Hodges is released from the trance, we hear shouting and sirens. But during the time that Hodges is entranced, all we hear is three things: the dialogue, music, and what sounds like the ticking of a kitchen timer. 

We could do a little bit of extrapolation from the fact that the beginnings of gunshots and siren sounds are temporally very close together, especially depending on how we measure time. Crowley turns the paintball guns into deadly weapons at 36:59. Crowley freezes Mary Hodges at 38:47. A ticking sound starts the same moment. We also hear what we will come to recognize as the “pause time” sound, a sort of wobbly sound. The ticking sound seems to stop around… 40:07? Right before the line about lovely little toesy woesies? It’s unclear with the overlapping tracks. At 40:11 Crowley says “let’s go” and we can hear sirens in the background start now. Aziraphale then snaps his fingers and unfreezes Hodges at 40:17.

So during 191 seconds of screentime, 84 seconds of it was spent with time frozen, if I accept the ticking sound to be the indicator. If time was only frozen locally, meaning just the paintball grounds and not the nearest police station and roads leading to it, then emergency services had just over three minutes from the time the first live round was fired to arrival. If time was actually frozen globally except for Crowley, Azirarphale, and Hodges, then emergency services got there in 85 seconds, or less than a minute and a half. Maybe Britain is doing something wildly different than here idk but I think the more likely explanation for the event timing is that Crowley is only freezing time in a local bubble. The shooters stop shooting but the police are still driving towards them while Crowley and Aziraphale are interrogating an entranced Mary Hodges.

The case with Hodges is kind of confusing because the audience is presented with a false dichotomy between “frozen in time” and “hypnotized.” It’s actually both. Crowley has frozen time around the three of them, but Hodges, like Aziraphale, was exempt. It just so happens that she was also entranced at the same time, which explains as well why Aziraphale can release her from the trance, since our best evidence indicates that he can’t control time.

S1E3 & S2E3

In S1E3, Crowley freezes Jean Claude, the executioner at the Bastille. Immediately before, we can hear the guillotine, screaming and jeering outside the cell. As soon as Jean Claude is frozen, however (13:29, complete with wobble sound), there is complete background silence, except for the dialogue between our ineffable aristocrats. When Crowley restarts time, background noise restarts as well. This evidence indicates that Crowley froze time for the surrounding area as well as inside the cell.

In S2E3, Crowley freezes Mr. Dalrymple. We don’t have definitive information about how much of the rest of the world is affected since the scene takes place indoors on a quiet night and there are no external cues of time starting or stopping.

S1E6: Freezing Out Satan

In S1E6, not only are Crowley, Aziraphale, and Adam pulled out of the normal flow of time: it seems that they are also pulled out of normal space. They appear to be in an ethereal desert where we can see their wings, but we don’t actually know where they are. The way we enter, inhabit, and then exit this time-stop is completely different from any of the other three explicit timestop scenes: Crowley must use his whole body to summon the power to cast the miracle, they travel elsewhere, then he must use his crankshaft to exit the time-stop.

I take this to indicate that freezing time when Satan is near takes a lot more power than freezing time around Mary Hodges, Jean Claude, or Mr. Dalrymple. Presumably, the power a being has, the more power it takes to lock them out of a bubble to stopped time.

Time Stop Mechanics

Here are my key takeaways from analyzing these four scenes:

Crowley isn’t so much freezing all of time as pulling himself and Aziraphale (and sometimes Adam) out of the flow of time. The effort this takes is dependent on the entities that they are “pulling away” from. It is easy to pull away from humans, so much so that they don’t have to pull away very far and can occupy the same space in a bubble of paused time. When he is “pulling away” from Satan, however, he must pull away much further, all the way to another plane.

Crowley’s ability is so powerful that he can use it to escape Satan. He could use it to lock out other powerful beings, if he wanted to, but it would take a lot of effort.

Aziraphale, a being with power somewhere on the spectrum between human and Satan, could be frozen by Crowley’s powers. The fact that Aziraphale is still present and active during all of these scenes, unaffected by the time stop is only indicative of Crowley’s choice to exempt him, just as he does with a hypnotized Mary Hodges and Adam.

Crowley has stopped time on Aziraphale

In a previous post I have addressed the possible symbolic meaning behind the Honolulu Roast sign that suddenly appears behind Crowley in the S2E1 coffee shop scene. This addresses the symbolic meaning of Honolulu with respect to Aziraphale, but fails to address the “roast” part, which I have the opportunity to do now. I begin by establishing two premises:

Crowley loves Aziraphale and after 6,000 years knows him very well.

Crowley is a dick.

Crowley sits down at the table across from Aziraphale and asks him what the problem is. At this point, there is no “Honolulu Roast” sign behind him. The camera flips to Aziraphale as he (badly) tries to deny that there is any problem. When the camera flips back to Crowley, a “today’s special: Honolulu Roast” sign has appeared behind him.

What does Crowley do next?

Crowley roasts Aziraphale.

Crowley proceeds to read Aziraphale to filth, rattling off all his tells and putting him in his place for even daring to think that he could mislead Crowley about his internal emotional state.

While we’ve seen a lot more of his soft side this season, we cannot forget that the demon Crowley, at the end of the day, is a prick. He really did pause time just so that he could go get a chalkboard, write a pun on it, and hang it on the wall behind him like a display card for open mic night. He’s still going to help Aziraphale, of course. But he’s going to make fun of him first.

Let me reiterate: Crowley literally paused time, got up from the table, put up this sign, then sat back down in (as close to) exactly the same position (as possible) to fool Aziraphale into not noticing the pause, because this joke is entirely for Crowley’s own amusement. We have some cinematographic evidence of this besides just the sign itself: the lamp behind him has moved slightly, and the camera angle focusing on Crowley has changed. Literally, the left hand side of the frame gets cut off due to the repositioning. From a production perspective, this scene would have been shot all at the same time, so should not have changed angles. That said, they did a by-hand follow-in of Crowley walking in and sitting down, then switched to a dolly, but… I have faith that they could have matched the shot line-up practically pixel for pixel if they wanted to. All to say: changing the camera position before and after, alongside the other conspicuous changes, seems like it was a deliberate framing choice used to indicate that Crowley tried his best to get back into exactly the same position, but was just a little off.

But Crowley’s prank is troubling from a perspective of honesty and agency. Based on the way the dialogue progresses, it seems pretty clear that Aziraphale doesn’t know that he was frozen. Whether or not Crowley could freeze Aziraphale was beside the point until this scene where we learn that Crowley would, even for a really dumb reason like making a joke at Aziraphale’s expense.

Before moving on, I want to note that the sudden appearance of this sign could be characterized as a continuity error, even though it was the result of a deliberate action by an in-world character. Jettison your traditional understanding of “continuity error” as “production made a mistake.” In this universe, we can have continuity errors by virtue that Aziraphale is experiencing time as if it is continuous, not noticing that he functionally blacked out for a few minutes and that things have changed around him. This is not a show-level continuity error. This is an Aziraphale-level continuity error.

Crowley can reverse time

Credit where credit is due: it was this comment on the Ao3 version of my meta, The Erasure of Human!Metatron, that became an earworm that got me thinking specifically about Crowley's abilities:

So thank you, LoveIsLove <3

Let’s go back to the Mary Hodges scene, or actually a few minutes before. Our ineffable idiots get shot by paintballs.

“Look at the state of this coat. I've kept this in tip-top condition for over 180 years now. I'll never get this stain out.”

“You could miracle it away.”

“Hmm… Yes, but… well, I would always know the stain was there. Underneath, I mean.”

Aziraphale finagles himself a favor without ever actually asking for it. Full points, princess. But let’s examine the actual content of the dialogue. This cannot be a complete 100% bluff; Aziraphale is not going to tell a straight lie to Crowley that they both know is false about the respective nature of their powers. It must be the case that there is some truth to this statement. There is a fundamental difference between what Aziraphale can do about the paintball stain and what Crowley is actually going to do about it. Furthermore, what Crowley does is something different than a miracle.

Crowley then blows on the stain, it disappears, and Aziraphale looks quite pleased. Yes, yes, he cajoled Anthony J Acts of Service Crowley into doing his signature move, but also, he’s genuinely thankful that Crowley did something for him that he couldn’t do for himself, because miracles don’t work like that. Notably, Crowley doesn't snap his fingers or make any other gesture that we normally associate with miracles, and we don’t hear the miracle sound, which is further evidence that this is not a miracle, but something different.

If you haven’t already, please read my meta entitled Jimbriel, Satan, the Book of Life, and what it means for Crowley. It explains in depth and with evidentiary support my theory about how erasure works in the Good Omens universe. The Cliff’s notes version is that erasing something, whether it be a name from the Book of Life or a paintball from a coat, is akin to erasing a pencil mark on paper; it’s technically gone but you’ll always know it was there. Underneath.

What Crowley has done, then, is not erasing the paintball stain.

He’s reversed it.

When he blows on the paintball stain, he is reversing time in a microcosm of the universe, truly making it so that the paintball never hit the jacket. In a world full of rubber erasers, Crowley has the only Control-Z. When things are “erased” by the Book of Life, they are changed, but when Crowley reverses something, they never happened (making Beelzebub’s description of the Book of Life actually a more accurate description of Crowley’s power). It is something unique that Crowley can do that Aziraphale can’t, and we haven’t seen any evidence of any other celestial being pausing or reversing time. Please feel free to reblog with links to relevant meta if I’m wrong about that.

In true Neil Gaiman style, Crowley using this power to do something mundane like get rid of paintball paint was an incredibly benign and subtle way to indicate that Crowley has an immense, untapped power that we have not yet seen him use for any major purpose. 

I repeat: we didn’t see him use it. Because usually, like Aziraphale, we the audience are exempt from the time freeze, and we get to watch what happens. But this time, we were frozen out with Aziraphale.

Clock Theory revisited: a reinterpretation of “continuity error”

A summary of clock theory

Neil Gaiman’s ask and answer on clock theory

Neil Gaiman responded to an ask about the clock jumping forward from 9:25 to 9:40 before and after the kiss with a single sentence: “It’s a continuity error, I’m afraid.”

In the usual manner, Neil is not lying, but he is relying on you making an incorrect interpretation of his seemingly straightforward and innocuous but actually ambiguous and incredibly meaningful statement. As I stated with regards to the Honolulu Roast chalkboard sign, do not interpret “continuity error” as “production made a mistake.” Interpret “continuity error” as “Aziraphale believes that his experience of time is in lockstep with the actual flow of time and doesn’t realize that 11 minutes passed while he was frozen.”

Let’s consider the evidence:

Image at timestamp 41:04 “[Hold that thought!]” the clock reads 9:25

Image at 45:04 “If Gabriel and Beelzebub can go off together, then we can” the clock still reads 9:25

Image at 47:56 the clock now reads 9:40. 

Image at 48:14 the clock reads 9:40

There are two four-minute gaps, from the perspective of the viewer, and we have views of the clock face at both ends of each gap.

Gap 1, from 41:04 to 45:04, the clock hands do not move at all, nor do they in any of the intervening shots.

Gap 2, from 45:04 to 47:56 (or 48:14, as you prefer), the clock hands move 15 minutes.

The Occam’s razor, Doylian explanation for why the clock hands don't move from 41:04 to 45:04 is that the clock is a prop. It does not have any timekeeping mechanism, the hands don’t move unless some human being opens up the glass, reaches in there, and manually adjusts it. They weren’t going to interrupt filming this moving scene to move the clock hands minute by minute, so it seems pretty plausible that the fact that it doesn’t move is just an artifact of production limitations.

The Watsonian explanation, which I do not favor, is that Crowley has frozen time for just the two of them. They are in a microcosm all their own. If true, this would have an abundance of implications, such that they are actually free to speak to each other freely, which they don’t. So I feel like with that alone, we can set this aside, but I’m open to being convinced otherwise.

If we accept the “clock is a prop” explanation for Gap 1, it doesn’t really hold for Gap 2 that they moved it a full fifteen minutes. So much care and attention to detail was given for all other parts of this show; I don’t realistically believe that a production staff member moved the hands a random amount. The music carries us from Crowley’s exit to Metatron’s entrance seamlessly, yet more time seems to have passed in-world than on-screen. There are two possible explanations:

There was more material that was supposed to be filmed to account for 15 minutes that got cut

We are supposed to figure out that there’s some “Greek play” style shenaniganery afoot

I will debunk explanation #1 with simply this: David’s contact lenses would sometimes rotate so that the slit pupils were not vertical. This error was fixed by VFX in post.

You might assume, when watching Good Omens, that Crowley’s serpent-like eyes are created using contact lenses. Or perhaps you’d presume they’re CGI. Actually, they’re a mix of both.

“The CGI versions were usually because the contact lenses had swiveled in David’s eyes … and we had to fix it,” says Mackinnon.

If they could fix Crowley’s eyes in post, there is absolutely no reason to expect that they couldn’t or wouldn’t have fixed the clock hand positions in post, especially if it was someone’s job to reach in there and change the positions to try to maintain set continuity in the first place. Additionally, there is deliberate use of clocks to symbolize various themes across both seasons. A Doylian error like this is not something that would have been overlooked and survived into publication.

So we are left with explanation #2. Time has passed that we, the viewers, don’t observe. What was happening during that time that we missed? More importantly, who knows that this time has passed? Aziraphale doesn’t seem to, and it’s unclear what the Metatron does or doesn’t know.

Some fans have posited that the Metatron is doing the time manipulations, but canonically, the only entity we have observed manipulate time is Crowley. We assume the Metatron is powerful because the angels are all afraid of him, but we’ve never actually seen him do anything, and so have no primary evidence for this. All over, he’s got some big “pay no attention to the man behind the curtain” Wizard of Oz vibes happening; I’m not convinced he could miracle his way out of a wet paper bag, and there’s a chance that in Season 3 we’ll find out that he’s all bluff. Not so with Crowley.

My hypothesis is that Crowley froze Aziraphale and everybody else for a one block radius, including the Metatron, and did something important in the bookshop before it lost its protection. Please see my meta on Sovereignty, Citizenship, and the Bookshop for an evidence-based argument on why the bookshop was the only place in the universe that Crowley could have safely hidden something. Since Aziraphale is no longer the head of an independent embassy, whatever Crowley was keeping safe in there isn’t safe anymore, and needs to be moved. Universe time continued to pass and the clock reflects that, but Aziraphale and the Metatron aren’t aware that they were paused.

Which also gives us a new interpretation for the kiss.

The Kiss, revisited

Crowley didn’t want to send Aziraphale a message.

Crowley needed a plausible cover for the immense effort it was going to take him to freeze time against Aziraphale and the Metatron that he knew was standing outside.

How do I know he knew?

No nightingales.

Juliet. Wilt thou be gone? it is not yet near day:

It was the nightingale, and not the lark,

That pierced the fearful hollow of thine ear;

Nightly she sings on yon pomegranate-tree:

Believe me, love, it was the nightingale.

Romeo. It was the lark, the herald of the morn,

No nightingale: look, love, what envious streaks

Do lace the severing clouds in yonder east:

Night's candles are burnt out, and jocund day

Stands tiptoe on the misty mountain tops.

I must be gone and live, or stay and die.

No nightingales could be the end of a romance. I argued as much in my inaugural meta just six weeks ago (and what a six weeks it has been, people!) But “no nightingales” could also be a secret signal to two people who have a unique bond through Shakespeare that Crowley has realized he is not safe, and he needs to leave, and he’s trying to tell Aziraphale that without letting their spectator in on the message.

Now he has to stop time to secure whatever item he’d been keeping safe in the bookshop. But keeping Satan at bay required him to lunge upwards, using his whole body to freeze time. He can’t get away with anything like that here in the bookshop, that would give up the ruse.

But what if he lunged at the person everyone knows he’s in love with and violently kisses them on the mouth, his entire body tense with the effort of freezing time in the presence of two ethereal beings? No one would notice the difference, or think anything nefarious of it; a Class A surreptitious time-stop.

One last crackpot theory.

Aziraphale knows what Crowley did. Well, he knows that he froze time, and for the first time realizes that Crowley has locked him out, and that he used the kiss as a cover. The violation of agency, trust, and their romantic bond are all breaking across him in the instant that time restarts, after Crowley has gone away for 11 minutes and returned to almost, but not quite, the same position inside Aziraphale’s arms. It is an intimate act that Aziraphale is fully tuned into, and for the first time, he’s noticing the continuity errors.

His horror-filled expression is one of broken trust. But his bond to Crowley is too strong for even this to break it. He knows that whatever reason Crowley had to pull this trick on him, it must have been a good one. It must have been to protect him.

“I forgive you.”

***

One more completely crackpot theory based on the Gavin Finney interview at The Ineffable Con last weekend.

The camera was supposed to circle them. Finney says that this was to show that they are the center of their universe, and their world is spinning.

Okay, okay. But could it not also have represented the spinning of clock hands? I’m just saying.

Closing obligatory "do not put anything about this in Neil Gaiman's askbox"

Find my entire collection of metas here

[meatballlady]

It's time for the fandom to start Looking Where the Furniture Isn't

For a bit of background, one of my irl professional responsibilities is to identify and avoid making undue assumptions. There are a LOT of things that we humans assume. We assume that terminology means the same to other people as it does to us. We assume everyone has the same context of a situation we do. We assume that we aren't missing any information.

We operate on the information we have.

There was an ask before season 2 aired asking whether many of the plot points had been revealed by the clips (which almost all took place during the first half of the first episode). Neil's response was something like "oh you sweet summer children you know nothing yet." And boy was he right.

Neil Gaiman is a master of controlling assumptions. Just look at his Tumblr askbox replies.

Here's a few s2 examples of assumptions we all made (as I'm starting a rewatch):

Why did Crowley do the (very fun and distracting) apology dance? You might say it was because he walked out on Jim, but he never specified, did he? And Aziraphale was surprised that he proposed they would hide him "together"

How did Shax get a rumor about something going down in the Up (presumably) before Gabriel even went downstairs?

Did Jim need to bring Aziraphale something other than the box? He never actually specifies; Aziraphale just assumes it's the box.

Why did Aziraphale assume Maggie could feel [Michael, Uriel, Saraquael] arriving?

Why does Aziraphale say Heaven would notice even a small miracle? Crowley is seen doing a miracle before their large miracle (traffic light), and later Aziraphale makes the guy leave the table at the pub

To go deeper:

Are we assuming that characters are telling the truth? Example: "Miracles don't work like that," "[Extreme sanctions] was just something we said to frighten the cherubs" etc.

Are we assuming that nothing of note happened between apocalypse v1 and s2? (ex. the claims that Crowley didn't tell Aziraphale about the trial in heaven despite him referencing it in s2s1) What if we the audience are just jumping in near the end of this story?

Are these assumptions correct? Or are we just working with the information that we have?

Now that I'm looking for it, there's also SO many corrections of assumptions (usually for the sake of a joke, but still) (these are just the ones that happen while I type them out while watching e2):

"Can I be a blue one?" "You haven't annoyed me yet" "But can I be?"

"You recognized [Michael, Uriel, Saraquael] those people who were in the shop just now?" "Of course, they were in the shop, just now!"

"oh my god!" "blasphemy, angel, that's not like you", "no, oh, my god"

Many of the themes were about hiding things in plain sight: the kids (and kids), Jim, "aim for my mouth but shoot past my ear." Clue (1985) was heavily referenced in the lead-up. The whole point of that film was looking at what was going on elsewhere. Looking where the furniture isn't, you might say.

The more I watch s2, the less certain I am that any of it makes sense on its own.

I'm currently combing through it to see if there are any discrepancies with where people are (easiest example is when Crowley just disappears from the bookshop while they're reviewing the Job story). It'll be a lot of data and might not lead anywhere, but I'll definitely share once I finish looking into it.

I will also honestly admit that these things are all circumstantial, and I could be going insane. But they just keep cropping up all over the place. I've got a lot of time before S3 comes up and I intend to investigate the furniture. And try to not make assumptions.

[thealogie]

time to draft long essays in Neil's askbox about how the kiss scene was a groundbreaking representation of gay desire and sexuality and how it literally changed my life etc, etc. (tho i am not too worried on that front bc no matter the script i know Michael and David will deliver somehow 👆)

Yeah we gotta put it on real thick….Mr. Gaiman when we were growing up papa would bring queerbait home from the factory and we would make that little bit of queerbait last for weeks, years even. We didn’t know gay people could kiss on tv I am sure you are physically saving the lives of young gay people worldwide.

[neil-gaiman]

Hello Neil!

Not an ask but an fyi I suppose... I tried to find someplace to report that the chapter "Orange (2008)" of The Neil Gaiman Reader epub is misformatted, but the publisher website was not helpful so as a last resort I'm sending it into the bottomless void of your askbox for you to hopefully see and forward to someone who can maybe fix it.

The whole chapter is like this and makes it pretty unreadable. Haven’t gotten any farther so I don't know about later chapters but all the previous ones were fine, format-wise.

Thank you! Which publisher did you get it from? And (in case they need to know) which platform did you buy it from?

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

All 3 from Neil Gaiman's tumblr, I think: "On the floor, weeping and covered in guacamole" "Neil Gaiman's Adequate Crumpets" and "Eternally Cursed With The Dreams And The Visions."

niiiice

Askbox is currently closed as I work my way through these older asks

[s0ull3ss-p3rs0n]

Tumblr: The Summary

-Sex jokes

-Yuri

-The most elaborate joke you've ever seen

-Unhinged fandom content

-Autism

-More autism

-ADHD???

-Neil Gaiman

-Incoherent rambles that proceed to be the most spiritually understandable thing to you

-Maia Arson Crimew

-Gimmick blogs

-That one mutual in your askbox

-The anons in your askbox (positive)

-The anons in your askbox (derogatory)

-Pornbots

-The deactivated blogs whose posts from 2014 still rotate in your dash from time to time

-Cryptid ass blogs that like your posts and disappear

-Bots

-"Where did this guy come from"

-BadJokesByJeff (change your name already)

-Brainrot™️

-You. Literally just you.

[idliketobeatree]

i think about this ask several times a week

[orpheuslament]

i dont really care for neil gaiman i enjoyed the first season of good omens when it came out + loved the book as a teen but if i put something out in the world & people talked to me about it the way freaks on his askbox are doing id go on a murder rampage

[theangelyouknew]

Hello! List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! Get to know your mutuals and followers :D

Thank you for this..

Good omens, and the fact that I can still be intense about it after all these months.**

The “Signs of Life” album by Neil Gaiman and the fourplay quartet. It’s streaming now. So good!

The fact that I’m so comfortable with who I am now, that when a coworker asks about my little notebook at work I straight up say, no matter who it is, “it’s my fanfiction notebook.”

I woke up and realized I’m not living the nightmare I just had. 😂 big relief made me super happy lol

This is the first Valentine’s Day in YEARS that I don’t have to spend with some asshole man. It’s like Miley says, I can buy myself flowers!

**I’ve loved good omens since s1, and originally watched for David Tennant, but like.. something about s2 opened up a creativity and happiness in me that I wasn’t expecting.

[smashorpassgilf]

Detailed 《here》

[Askbox is open. Submissions via submit must have 3 50+ pics]

One person or submission

Any gender

Must be over 50 years old

Both fictional and real people accepted

Both Live action and animated

Harkness rule for inhuman entities (of sexual maturity, of human or greater intelligence, can communicate with language)

Everyone submitted is moved to this spreadsheet

Certain media sources will not be accepted as well as certain people.

Not allowed, reasons on spreadsheet -> all Harry Potter & related, the last of us, Hazbin Hotel, all politicians, Morrissey, Jordan Peterson, Saul Goodman/Jimmy Mcgill, Noel fielding, Ralph Fiennes, Alice Cooper, Neil Gaiman, Marilyn Manson

Submit via ask, one person per ask, or submit via the submissions with your own pictures. Photos must be of the person over 50 (45 if the person is 50-53) [Note: if you send multiple people per ask, this will slow down how fast your ask gets out.]

If the blog goes quiet, shoot in some asks, I may've just forgotten to restock the queue

@ the blog with propaganda reblogs so I can share your reasons someone should be smashed!

He/It/They | 26 | V | My posts will be tagged as 'not poll'

Inspired by @smashingorpassing but not affiliated

[Discord]

[teacupsandcyanide]

Goncharov, proper noun,

Title of the 1973 film Goncharov. “Hast thou seen Goncharov?”

Name of the titular character of the film Goncharov. “Goncharov is my poor little meow meow.”

Gonchpost/s, noun. Posts about Goncharov.

Gonchpost, (to gonchpost, gonchposting, to be that who gonchposts, gonchposted), verb. To post about Goncharov. Can be done solo or as a group. “I look forward to gonchposting all weekend.”

Gonch culture. Not only the culture of actively gonchposting but also all other cultural activities, knowledge, rules, and rituals associated with gonchposting and Goncharov. This includes but is not limited to reading gonchposts or rewatching Goncharov, thinking about or discussing gonchposts and Goncharov, and enjoyment of gonchposts and Goncharov as intertwined phenomena. Also referred to as the gonch, as in the culture of the gonch, the art of the gonch, for the love of the gonch, dedication to the gonch.

Gonch, verb, informal,

To gonch, gonching, gonches, gonched. An informal slang term for gonchposting or partaking in the culture of the gonching. Can be done solo or as a group. “I gonchposted all weekend, man, it was nonstop gonching out there.”

To get gonched, to gonch each other/one’s self up, to gonch up. To gonchpost or partake in the culture of gonching enthusiastically and with great energy. “Let’s get gonched again next weekend.”

To gonch someone, to get gonched. To gonchpost or openly partake in the culture of gonching, but towards a person or group with the intent of malice, mischief, or mayhem, or with the object of misleading, aggravating, or dunking on the target, usually in a public setting. This action can be done by one person, or through a series of coordinated group attacks. “I gonched that guy so good.”

To gonch him, he got gonched. To fill Neil Gaiman’s askbox up with asks about Goncharov. Can be done maliciously or accidentally. “They gonched that old man.”

Gonching, intensifier, expletive. “I’m gonching sick of gonchposts. They’re too gonching good.”

Gonchdamn, expletive. “Gonchdamn that’s a lot of gonch.”

Gonchwork, noun. Work done in the culture of gonching. “Some great gonchwork out here tonight, lads.”

Gonch, noun, laudatory. “The guy is incredible. An absolute gonch.”

Goncher/s, noun, informal. Fans of Goncharov or frequent partakers in gonch culture.

Gonchhead/s, noun, laudatory. Real fans of Goncharov or frequent partakers in gonch culture. Aka, the gonchers who know Matteo Jwhj 0715 is the director and Martin Scorsese is the producer.

Gonchie/s, noun, derogatory. Unflattering term for gonchheads. Considered a slur by some, a reclaimed slur by others, and to others still simply an expletive.

Goncharet/tte, noun. A very small goncher.

Gonchgirl/s, gonchboy/s, gonchem/s, gonchqueer/s, noun. Gender-specific identity labels for gonchers. To be a gonchgirl one does not have to be a girl in any sense, etc; the gonch label is used as another form of queer gender expression. Highly controversial reclaimed examples using the gonch prefix include gonchd*ke/s and gonchf*g/s. More abstract examples include gonchgorl/s and gonchwyrm/s. More recent experimentations include lesbichrov/s and enbychrovs.

Gonchfriend, gonchspouse, gonchmate, gonchlad, gonchlass, gonchbird, gonchpal, gonchwife, husbachrov, gonchquip. Nouns for friends and romantic or sexual partners or other kinds of life partners with whom ones engages in gonch culture.

Gonch, adjective. To have the quality of gonchness. A serious and laudatory word. “This The Godfather film has some real gonch to it.”

Gonchy, gonchier, gonchiest, gonchful, gonchless, gonchtastic. Adjectives relating to the level of gonch the subject has.

Terms of phrase utilised in gonch culture include but are not limited to:

To have a gonchin’ good time

To gonch their/his/her chrovs. Can be negative or positive but indicates intensity of feeling. “I love that, that really gonches my chrovs.” “I hate that, that really gonches my chrovs.”

To gonch a chrov. “You thought you’d gonched my chrovs, sir, but are you wrong. You have barely gonched a chrov of mine.”

To ghostarov someone. To disappear from the life of or suddenly cut off contact with someone after holding them at gunpoint and wanting to shoot them for falling in love with a man named Andrey and turning their back on everything you’ve worked for together, but ultimately not shooting them because you don’t love them enough, and instead going to a boathouse alone in one final attempt to atone for the death of the father you felt responsible for, the lipstick of a woman named Sofia still staining your lips. Sometimes referred to as gonch-girling.

And finally:

Gonchsplain, verb, derogatory. “Quit gonchsplaining to me, I know how to fucking gonch.”

[wastrelwoods]

neil richard mackinnon gaiman please consider closing your askbox even just briefly like to charge reblog to cast