#nessian is beautiful and brilliant but

[perseusannabeth]

One Day I'll Be Good - Chapter 1

A/N: Hi guys! Happy first day of nessian week! I've decided to get in on the action. This fic is one I started a long time ago, around the same time as let me be your home. As you can imagine, that then took over, but when I saw the day 1 Nessian week prompt, it felt like the perfect time to finish this chapter.

There are themes of child abuse in this fic, but I will make sure to warn you which specific chapters.

Thank you so much to @nessianweek for organising such a brilliant event!

Word count:  3,010

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Cassian decided that waking up with his arms and wings wrapped around his mate was the best feeling in the world. He didn't know how he had lived without it all his life but was especially in awe of himself for being able to live without Nesta since he met her. Past Cassian was something.

Cassian was content to watch Nesta as she slept. She looked so peaceful, he almost couldn't believe this was real. But it was. Nesta could even look peaceful when she was awake, too. His beautiful, talented mate had managed to overcome her trauma for the most part and was happy and comfortable in her skin, which Cassian thanked the mother for every day. 

It had been a month since their incredibly extravagant mating ceremony, and Cassian supposed that this was what they called post-mated bliss. Everything was calm in their relationship now. That wasn't to say they didn't have their moments of heightened emotions, but they knew that no matter what, they could always count on each other. That was all they needed.

Nesta started to stir in his arms. Nesta now had adapted the same morning routine as he had, meaning that she would wake up around the same time as him so she could get ready for training. It was nice to wake up and sleep together. However, Cassian still had to pinch himself to remind him that this was real. He couldn't believe his luck still, that a lowly bastard from Illyria could have this life.

"Morning," Nesta yawned, rubbing her eyes sleepily as she smiled at him. Warmth hit his chest like he'd been hit with a firework. It spread through his body like wildfire, filling him with joy that he felt like he couldn't breathe.

Cassian beamed down at his mate, kissing her forehead because he needed to express his joy somehow before he burst. "Morning," he said, his voice hoarse from not using it all night and from their late-night activities.

Nesta smiled and nuzzled herself deeper into his chest, smiling. Cassian let out a slight rumbling noise of contentment as his mate took in his scent. Nesta looked up at him, humour sparkling in her eyes. "You sound like a cat with all that purring you're doing," she said, trying to hide a laugh.

"You're giving me an identity crisis. Am I a cat or a bat now?" Cassian asked, raising his eyebrow at his mate as he ran his hands up and down her back absent-mindedly, enjoying her soft skin against his calloused hands.

Nesta let out a tiny little huff at his ridiculousness but didn't stop smiling at him. That smile directed at him was like being shot through the heart. Cassian still couldn't believe that Nesta would smile at him like that. He couldn't help himself when he saw that beautiful, sleepy smile. He leaned down and kissed her lazily like they had all the time in the world. Nesta kissed back at the same leisurely pace, running her hands over his chest.

Nesta's hands left a trail of blazing fire; every bit of skin she touched with her sinful hands while Nesta was pressed against him so deliciously had him wanting more. Cassian deepened the kiss, causing Nesta to moan into his mouth. She pulled away, closing her eyes and trying to catch her breath. Cassian felt a rush of pride that he did this to her, that he could cause Nesta to lose composure so quickly. He waited for Nesta to make her move, grinning at himself as he listened to her heavy breathing.

Nesta pushed away from Cassian and sat up, letting the blanket fall to her waist as she looked at Cassian with a lust-filled gaze. Cassian shuddered at the intensity of what he saw in his mate's eyes, excitement coursing through him.

Nesta sighed and shook her head fondly as though she knew what Cassian was thinking. It didn't take a daemati to figure out what Cassian was thinking, not with his cock already hard under the blanket, which did nothing to hide it.

Cassian tried to lean in for another kiss, only for Nesta to softly push him back, shaking her head and sighing in regret. "I have to go to the library this morning."

At that, Cassian froze. "No training this morning?"

"Stop pouting," Nesta laughed, giving him a slight shove in the chest.

"I'm not pouting," he said, although he knew his bottom lip was jutting out remarkably like a pout. "You never miss training!" Cassian said.

"I know, but this is important. Gwyn needs me to be there for her," Nesta explained, getting up from the bed and walking across their room naked.

Cassian followed her with his eyes, not even blinking, just in case he missed something. "What's going on with Gwyn?" He asked, his curiosity peaked now.

"I promised her I wouldn't say, so you'll have to keep your nosy self out of it until she's ready to share it with you. And don't you dare try and ask Az to send his shadows to find out," Nesta said, turning from the wardrobe and glaring at him. Cassian tried to compose his face into the picture of innocence and act as though the thought hadn't even crossed his mind. Of course, Nesta could see right through it, and her scowl deepened.

Cassian held his hands up in surrender, to which Nesta rolled her eyes and walked into the bathroom to quickly wash away the scent of their late-night activities and get ready to meet Gwyn. Usually, Cassian might have joined her, but he knew that if he did that, they would not be ready for Nesta to meet Gwyn if he did that today. As much as Cassian would love to join his mate, he knew he needed to behave right now.

Nesta came out of the bathroom quickly enough with a towel in her hair and was already dressed, which was probably the wisest choice. If she had come out in a towel, or even naked like she sometimes did, Cassian might not have been able to help himself.

"I think I'll probably just spend the day in the library today, so I'll see you tonight at dinner," Nesta said as she quickly braided her wet hair. She walked over, gave him a quick peck on the lips, and then moved towards the door before turning around. "Behave yourself today," she said sternly, raising her eyebrows.

Once again, Cassian schooled his face so that he looked innocent. He called it his 'butter wouldn't melt' face. "Nesta, I would never misbehave!" Cassian said, raising his hand to his chest in mock defence.

"Tell that to the archery practice you did last time I wasn't there!"

"The paint was so they could see how far they managed to shoot! It was for training purposes," Cassian protested, trying to fight a grin.

"Cass, when I turned up, everyone was just throwing paint at each other."

"Okay, okay, point taken. I'll be boring and super strict," Cassian said in his most monotone, bored-sounding voice.

Nesta snorted in disbelief and shook her head as she left the room, leaving a grinning Cassian in her wake. He still had some leftover paint from the last time Nesta hadn't turned up to training.

  ***

  Nesta marched down to the library as quickly as she could. She knew that Gwyn was meeting Clotho first thing, but Nesta wanted to get to the library before the meeting so she had time to talk to Gwyn. She knew without a doubt that Gwyn would be nervous, even though she had nothing to worry about.

Gwyn had decided that she wanted to write a book on the Valkyries. Specifically, she wanted to write about their new version of the Valkyries. She wanted to chronicle everything and even write about their experiences during the Rite.

Nesta thought it was a brilliant idea. What happened during the Rite should be written down if for nothing else; then, it could show future Valkyries what they could be capable of. Their experiences in the Rite would be there to help and guide future Valkyries to find their strength. Nesta knew that after everything they had been through, her friends, no sisters, would be by her side for the rest of their lives. The bond they had created was stronger than anything she had ever felt. Other Valkyrie needed to see that being a Valkyrie wasn't just about being warriors; it was about being a family and having each other's backs.

Nesta and Gwyn waited outside of Clotho's office, Gwyn picking at invisible pieces of fluff on her priestess robes nervously. Nesta had given up trying to distract Gwyn, and the two sat silently. When Clotho's door eventually opened, Nesta felt Gwyn startle beside her. As Clotho called them in, Nesta took Gwyn's hand in her own, squeezed it and gave her a small smile. Gwyn squeezed back and smiled in thanks as the two Valkyries walked into the office.

They sat down on the chairs at the other side of the desk to Clotho, Gwyn folding her hands in her lap to try and stop herself from fiddling with her clothes with her nerves. Clotho offered Gwyn a soft smile. It was easy to see how nervous she was. Gwyn couldn't seem to hide it.

"There is no need to be so nervous, Gwyn," Clotho wrote on the notepad before her. Gwyn let out a nervous chuckle, and Nesta could tell that Clotho's words were only making Gwyn more nervous.

"Let's get started, shall we?" Nesta asked, turning to Gwyn.

The priestess nodded at her before taking a deep breath to steel her nerves. "I would like to write a book on the Valkyries reborn. I specifically want to focus on me, Nesta and Emerie and our trials throughout the Rite. I feel like it needs to be chronicled for future generations." 

"That sounds like a wonderful idea. What would you require from me?"

"Obviously, with all the researching, writing, and drafting it will take for me to write a book, it will seriously lessen my time for other duties. I know that might be a little problem, but I promise I will pick up all my duties again once I'm done!" Gwyn said in a pleading voice.

"Of course, that will be okay. I'll arrange things with Merrill so you are free to research." Clotho smiled at them. 

"Thank you so much!" Gwyn exclaimed, jumping up from her seat in excitement.

Clotho and Gwyn couldn't help but smile at the excitement practically seeping from Gwyn. Nesta felt like she practically glowed with it and that it suited her. The change in her friend from when they first met was evident. The amount of growing she and her friends had done together and separately during the Rite was clear to see. She was glad that Gwyn would write this book if only to immortalise the trio's journey.

Gwyn and Nesta took their leave and started going up to the training ring to tell the others the good news. Gwyn was practically shaking with excitement now, and Nesta knew she couldn't contain herself when she got to the training ring. She was almost vibrating with excitement, and Nesta could see that Gwyn would be supercharged in their training. Gwyn had a lot of energy anyway and was always very competitive. Today, she would be even worse than usual, but Nesta couldn't help but smile at her friend's antics. She was glad that her friend had successfully gotten what she wanted. Gwyn deserved the world.

"Oh wait! I need to return Emerie her book, and it's in my room," Gwyn exclaimed.

Nesta huffed out a little laugh, "What did you think of it?"

A soft blush covered Gwyn's freckled cheeks, telling Nesta everything about Gwyn's feelings for the book. "It was certainly... intense," she said, avoiding eye contact with Nesta at all costs now.

Nesta gave a non-committal hum, not wanting to say more to embarrass her friend. She didn't exactly need the help. "I'll wait here for you then," she said, gesturing at the shelves near them. Gwyn nodded and walked off quickly to get the book from her room.

The library was quiet; some of the priestesses were probably already at the training ring, and the others were probably doing their jobs, so nobody was around in her area. To pass the time, Nesta decided to look at the books. They probably wouldn't be the books she was interested in, but she had nothing better to do.

She heard some rustling behind her and turned, expecting to see Gwyn returned. Instead, it was Merrill. Nesta turned back around to carry on looking at the books. Although it had been a while since she had defended Gwyn, Merrill still seemed to hold a grudge. Nesta could understand that clearly; she had embarrassed Merrill, but that didn't mean she had to care about the petty grudge she held. Merrill seemed petty enough for the both of them.

She heard Merrill clear her throat behind her, but Nesta studied the books with added vigour. When Merrill cleared her throat again louder and more aggressively, Nesta knew that if she ignored her again, she would be pushing her luck.

"Are you quite alright, Merrill? You keep clearing your throat. If you feel unwell, then perhaps you should be in bed today. I'm sure Clotho would be more than fine with you taking a day off for yourself," Nesta said, keeping her face neutral and tone matching. She didn't know what was wrong with Merrill, but her instincts told her to run. But Nesta knew that if she did, she would worsen whatever was happening. If Merrill's attention were on her, she wouldn't focus on Gwyn or other priestesses who may still be around. 

Merrill hissed and took a menacing step towards her. "You! You have been the bane of my existence since the day you arrived here. I don't know why the high lord and lady couldn't have just dumped their drunk sister in a ditch where she belonged. Instead, they had to make her everyone else's problem!"

Before Nesta could even think of a retort, she was hit with a glass bottle on her forehead. She stumbled back as the liquid in the bottle dripped all over her front. Her eyes were watering far too much from the liquid and the glass hitting her forehead, so she couldn't see what was going on with Merrill, but she tugged the mating bond, letting her mate feel the panic as she collapsed on the floor. 

Before her eyes closed, Nesta wondered what she had done to deserve that from Merrill.

  ***

  Cassian had not been doing much training. He wouldn't lie; he was standing on the side of the ring talking, not gossiping like Nesta said he was. He couldn't help it, though. Nesta was much less willing to talk about whatever was happening between Azriel and Gwyn. 

His brother had looked around and seen that the firecracker priestess wasn't there, and he had frowned. He had shown a real emotion without meaning to. Nesta would never have understood it, but that was a huge deal!

He was halfway through explaining to Emerie how big of a deal the frown was (and thankfully, she seemed to understand the significance) when Cassian felt a tug on the mating bond. Then, he was flooded with fear and pain before it just cut off, and suddenly there was nothing. He tried to reach out, but something was blocking him. He could tell Nesta was alive; he could feel some connection to her, but it wasn't the same as it had been moments ago.

"Fuck," he said, grabbing his chest, looking around frantically. 

"Cassian? What is it?" Emerie asked, grabbing him as he stumbled. 

"It's the mating bond; something's wrong," he explained before taking off. 

He could hear Emerie call after him, but he didn't stop. He ran as fast as he could down to the library where Nesta had said she would be. The closer he got, the louder the commotion became. Cassian stopped by the entrance as he saw a group of priestesses gathered around someone on the floor. He just knew it was her. 

"Nesta?" He asked, moving quickly. He startled some of the priestesses but was too concerned about Nesta even to register it properly. Thankfully, Emerie and Azriel came rushing in and moved everyone away from Gwyn. 

As the crowd dissipated, they noticed a heap of Nesta's clothes and something small curled up inside. Cassian couldn't see what it was, but it looked like the size of some small animal. 

"Gwyn, what happened? Where's Nesta?" he asked urgently. 

Gwyn looked at him, concerned. That wasn't good; she was looking at him like she didn't know how to break some bad news to him. "Gwyn, whatever happened, it's fine. I can feel in the bond that Nesta is alive, but there's something wrong with it. Please, tell me what's going on."

"I wasn't here to see it, but there was some sort of altercation with Merrill." She paused and then looked at Azriel. "I think you need to go looking for her immediately. We have no idea where she is, but she did something dangerous."

With that ominous declaration, she slowly moved the heap of clothes until a little head popped out. "Nesta, darling, please come out," Gwyn pleaded. 

The head shook from side to side, indicating nobody would be coming out today. Then, she slowly moved the clothes so she could look around, keeping the rest of her face covered. She glanced at him, Gwyn, and then Azriel and Emerie stood behind them, looking just as bewildered as Cassian felt. Then, when she was done assessing them all, she quickly buried herself under the clothes again. 

Gwyn looked to Cassian and confirmed his fears. "Merrill attacked Nesta and somehow turned her into a child."

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[lunainfortuna]

One name, in bold letters. One name, ready for tomorrow’s lesson.

GWYN

❥ Gwyn and acosf: a love story. ⬇ {this will be long}

Her hood was thrown back, and faelight danced in the rich coppery chestnut of her pin-straight hair. Her large teal eyes were as clear and depthless as the stone usually atop a priestess’s hood, and a scattering of freckles lay across her nose and cheeks, as if someone had tossed them with a careless hand.

↑♡ Chapter 9! Gwyn was introduced for the first time; beautiful, with a long and detailed description, she had a very straightforward interaction with Nesta.

The priestess drew up to her full height, which was slightly taller than average for Fae females. A crackling sort of energy buzzed around her, and Nesta’s power grumbled in answer. [...] Gwyn’s hair seemed to glow brighter with her song, skin radiating a beckoning light. Drawing any listener in.

↑♡ Crackling sort of energy...? Skin radiating a beckoning light? New character and many crumbs already. For meticulous readers, a question remains: what powers does Gwyn have?

“I don’t need to be coddled. Only spoken to like a person.”

↑♡ Still being introduced - SJMAS already pointed out interesting behavior and personality of this new character. Gwyn showed she was more than her trauma.

“Because I don’t like to fail. I can’t …” Gwyn shook her head. “I don’t want to make any more mistakes.”

↑♡ And as the chapters went on, the author decided to put even more emphasis on Gwyn and her deepest feelings.

Would she remain here, locked beneath the earth, for the rest of her immortal life?

↑♡ This a question made by Nesta {and Sarah herself, I believe}. It can also be read as a hint - would Gwyn, this lovable and intriguing character, remain forever locked in that library? It begs for an answer.

Gwyn frowned. “Lots of things. Merrill’s brilliant. Horrible, but brilliant. When she first came here, she was obsessed with theories regarding the existence of different realms—different worlds. [...]”

↑♡ She was the character who talked about the many worlds for the first time in ACOSF (not sure abt all books); we know, by now, how important this was and this is going to be for the future plot of ccty and even acotar.

“Yes, thank the Cauldron. She’s writing a comprehensive history of the Valkyries.”

↑♡ Gwyn was also responsible for introducing the Valkyries, big part of ACOSF. Their phases, for example, said by her, named the book parts.

“No, but …” Gwyn’s swallow was audible. “I can feel something. Like a cat. Small and clever and curious. It’s watching.”

↑♡ Aside from Nesta (the mc), Gwyn was the only one who felt! the darkness in the library.

“Because I don’t ever want to feel powerless again,” Gwyn said softly, and all those easy smiles and bright laughs were gone. Only stark, pained honesty shone in her remarkable eyes.

↑♡ The author continued to invest in Gwyn's development. From a frightened priestess to one willing to face her fears. She was the character who voiced Nesta's feelings.

Gwyn and Emerie had fallen into an easy camaraderie within minutes.

↑♡ I'm a simp, really. She immediately liked Emerie and didn't make her uncomfortable.

Gwyn, who had arrived blushing the next morning and told Emerie that if the book was considered tame, then she could only imagine the content of the others. [...] And it was Gwyn who said, “Was it good?”

↑♡ Both great moments that show pure growth! First, she got in contact with smut books and later, she was enough okay with it to be the one who asked about Nessian's sex.

“My grandmother was a river-nymph who seduced a High Fae male from the Autumn Court. So I’m a quarter nymph, but it’s enough for this.” [...] “My mother was unwanted by either of their people. [...] She partook in the Great Rite when she was of age, and I, we—my sister and I, I mean—were the result of that sacred union with a male stranger.”

↑♡ Questions, questions and questions. Gwyn's origin was mentioned in the book (it didn't happen to any other character) and there were three main points: river-nymph, which means she is a half-breed like Rhysand himself; Autumn Court, well... Eris, heir of it, showed up and was linked to the plot - and future ones; Great Rite, something that we read abt.

Gwyn said, playing with her hair, “I dream of my past, too.”

↑♡ She was the person who told Nesta she wasn't the only one reviving her traumas. They all were.

Gwyn let out a breathy laugh. “I mean it. I learned about a new Valkyrie technique last night. It’s called Mind-Stilling.”

↑♡ Mind-stilling, a technique that improves the training. That made them Valkyries. That helped them win the Rite. Again, Gwyn being the introducer.

Tell yourself, I am the rock against which the surf crashes. [...] Nesta did. And for the first time in her life, she felt utterly settled into her own skin.

↑♡ I don't feel like I need to explain this. Nesta feeling into her own skin for the first time in her life is enough.

“Your story is worth telling, you know.”

↑♡ This right here. Nesta heard her life is worth living and telling. She mattered. And she told everyone else: you matter.

With her eyes closed, only the music mattered—the song, the voices, the harp. It wrapped around her, as if she’d been dropped into a bottomless pool of sound. Gwyn’s voice rose again, holding such a high note it was like a ray of pure light, piercing and summoning.

↑♡ It was Gwyn's song that connected Nesta to the third trove. Gwyn's.

Gwyn beamed. “I convinced Merrill to add us into the penultimate chapter. She even let me write it—with her own annotations, of course. But it’s about the rebirth of the Valkyries. About what we’re doing.”

↑♡ Please. Gwyn marked them in history. Her friends and sisters.

“I sometimes wonder if I shall ever have the courage to go out there again. I fear every day that I won’t.”

↑♡ When people say Gwyn's journey is over, it's just a blatant lie. Even though she was already training with the girls, she still had this fear. This insecurity about the future. And the author made us wonder together with the character.

Gwyn whispered, “I am the rock against which the surf crashes.” Nesta straightened at the words, as if they were a prayer and a summons. Gwyn lifted the blade. “Nothing can break me.”

↑♡ Nothing can break her. Nothing can break Nesta, Emerie, me or you. Gwyn's character was responsible for this words. A pray and summon.

Smooth as the Sidra, swift as the wind off the Illyrian Mountains, her entire body working in singing harmony, Gwyn lunged toward the ribbon, twirled, and as she spun, her arm opened up, executing a perfect backhanded slice that cut the winter morning itself.

↑♡ The first Valkyrie in history. The very first one.

Gwyn stroked Nesta’s head. “Some things are more important than fear.” She cleared her throat.

↑♡ The way she was panicking and stayed with Nesta anyway. Cuz Nesta needed her. This is noble love and bravery. She could have hidden; and it would be understandable, even. But she prioritized her sister. She did it.

They’d eaten a meager meal of some roast squirrel Gwyn had managed to pilfer from an unsuspecting Illyrian, but hunger remained a vocal knot in their bellies.

↑♡ This could be me just simping for this fun, chaotic girl, but I can also point out that Gwyn played a big role through the Rite. She saved the girls, fed them and made them keep going until the Ramiel.

“CUT IT!” Gwyn roared.

↑♡ Not to mention she was again completely selfless. She would die for them. Gwyn was ready to sacrifice her life for them; even more than her life, I would say. She did it for the children, she would do it for her sisters.

Gwyn and Emerie had touched the sacred stone.

↑♡ Carinthyan.

“I have been broken once before,” Gwyn said, her voice clear. “I survived it. And I will not be broken again—not even by this mountain.”

↑♡ Gwyn was the one who shared her past first. She was scared and yet, she told them. She placed her heart in her sisters' hands - and they followed her. Nesta, who said over and over again throughout ACOSF how they would hate her for what she was, told them. And was loved by them. Emerie, who had a past that no one knew about, told them. And was welcomed by them. Their stories were worth telling.

______________________________________________________

To say Gwyn has no relevance or plot or development is to lie. She is the side character of main focus in ACOSF; and we can see it in this post, but also by making a comparison with this all and Emerie's parts. There's no questions about Ems' origin or powers - she is a side character as much as Gwyn, but she didn't participate the same way in the book. Yup, she is a side character as much as Gwyn, but she had less focus. And that was the author choice. Is Emerie as important as Gwyn? Yes. But she wasn't set up for the main plots around the story or for the main character possibility.

We can also think about Nesta before ACOSF. She had a big participation and her plot was linked to the book's plot: the caldron. Sarah set her up for her book by focusing on her! on her personality, strength and fears. And now, she did the same with Gwyn. She was linked to the Valkyries plot and in the end, to the future {war, many worlds and autumn court}. And more: although she did grow, the author told us clearly the character was not done. Emerie is not completely done either (almost) - but her plot is a side plot in the big picture.

Gwyn was left with many questions and !two things! to be solved through a healing journey: the Invoking Stone and the library. She hasn't felt worth yet. She hasn't seen the world yet.

But she will.

[symphonicshadows]

[unhealthyfanobsession]

For the Acowar Nessian drabbles:

Cassian goes back to the Archeron state to deliver some kind of letter for Nesta and runs into Nesta and Tomas having an argument and her flinching when he raises his hand. Obviously Cassian kicks him out and he and Nesta have a talk.

Your blog is pure gold btw.

You can let me know if this helps me stay gold ( Pony Boy)

Cassian couldn’t believe he was doing this again. Admittedly, he had volunteered a little too quickly the last time communication had to be taken to the human lands, but after that trip… things had changed.

He pretended to Feyre that he didn’t want this job all of a sudden because her sister was simply too difficult to be worth his time. That was a narrative Feyre could understand, could sympathize with. And if it annoyed Cassian that the cursebreaker thought him so weak willed he couldn’t hold his ground against a spoiled mortal girl, he said nothing.

Cassian had not volunteered this time, but Azriel was off in shadow land, Rhys and Feyre were too busy trying not to fuck each other, and Mor… Cassian didn’t like the thought of Mor performing this particular job. Not after how she looked at him the last time they were in these cursed lands. Something told him she would be a little too familiar for Nesta’s tastes. She would push. Mor didn’t understand why the sisters stayed.

Cassian knew exactly why they stayed. It was exactly why he still kept his home in Illyria and refused to settle in Velaris. Whatever his own people had done to him when he was at his lowest, they were his people.

For all of her flaws, no one could accuse Nesta Archeron of being disloyal.

It was one of many things that he begrudgingly respected about her.

No, Cassian did not try to get out of this job because he disliked Nesta. He tried to get out of it because he liked her too much.

Because of this ridiculous, insane, completely unhinged sort of feeling inside of him that whispered his own doom.

And if that was true… he’d rather not torture himself by getting closer to her, by confirming everything he felt and knowing that he was doomed.

But as it always happened in his life, fate was determined to force him down the difficult path. Flying towards Nesta Archeron with a sealed white envelope in hand was every bit as painful as climbing, bloody, starving, and half carrying Azriel, up the hardest of Ramiel’s three summits.

The breaking, Illyrians called it.

Bullshit.

Nothing physical could break a male the way this nagging feeling that sat like a calcified stone in Cassian’s chest did.

He wouldn’t allow himself to even think of it. Fate could not be that cruel. He was being ridiculous.

She was beautiful, and strong, and brilliant, and he was confusing all of those things with something more.

That was it.

That was all he could allow it to be.

Cassian did not circle the Archeron estate this time. There was no need to work himself up to anything. There was nothing going on. Nothing.

Cassian glamoured himself as he had done before and raised his fist to subtly knock against the door. A sound the housekeeper would think was harsh wind, but Nesta would know was him. One of them, at least. She wasn’t expecting him this time.

Before his fist could connect, Nesta’s voice was carried to him on the wind.

“If I had know it was you I would have told Mrs. Garth to poison the tea.” Cassian would have thought she could see him through the door if he didn’t know better. It was exactly the sort of thing she would say to him, except more… vicious, somehow.

Vicious in her complete lack of affliction. These words were dipped in acid but not set aflame. They were uttered as a simple fact.

“You always were a bitch.” Cassian stiffened at the unfamiliar male voice. Who the fuck was this? And just where the hell did he get off-

“I used to think those tits made the attitude worth it, but fuck am I glad you turned out to be a prude who wasn’t worth the effort.”

“That,” Nesta’s voice was slow and confident, “is not how I recall things ending.”

Cassian’s entire body went stark still. The very wind reversed course in an attempt to distance itself from him. From the molten hot iron that now poured through his veins instead of blood.

“I don’t much care what you remember.”

“What do you want, Tomas?” Nesta was so much stronger than him, Cassian thought. Here she was, spitting back in this man’s face while just the thought of what he had tried to do to her had Cassian filled with a rage so strong he couldn’t move.

Cassian had fought a war. He was raised for battle and combat. Yet here in the human lands, it was what a human man tried to do to a human woman that finally snapped the careful control he prided himself on. It was hard to believe from their personalities, but Cassian had the greatest control on his anger of the three brothers. Azriel was locked in a constant state of silent rage while Rhys nearly exploded with righteous indignation at every slight to one he loved.

Cassian knew better.

Cassian was a general.

Cassian was in control of his baser anger.

Cassian… was about to raze the mortal world to the fucking soil in his mission to make this man suffer.

He didn’t hear the pathetic mortal’s response to Nesta’s question. Something about money, it was always about money. Cassian was just proud of himself that he had enough wits to glamour his wings and not snap the door off its hinges as he prowled into the house.

“Tomas,” Nesta said very quietly, stepping into Cassian’s path, “you need to leave now.”

“Like hell I’ll leave before-”

“I quite agree,” Cassian snarled, “he isn’t going anywhere.”

The human man looked up at Cassian, finally, and saw everything that raged and burned inside of him. The man was taller than average, with broad shoulders and a decently strong physique. For a human.

He was a little fucking boy next to Cassian.

“I’ll come back later,” Tomas rolled his eyes, “but I expect twice as much if you want me to keep my mouth shut about you’re whoring around with this asshole.”

Cassian grinned. He was going to enjoy this.

“I made you a promise once, Miss Archeron. Do you remember?” Nesta paused, eyes flicking with surprise up to his. Likely taken off guard by his formality. If he was going to murder this man who insulted Nesta, he would at least show him how a lady was meant to be treated before he perished.

Contrary to popular opinion, Cassian did know how these things worked. He simply chose not to abide by them in most instances.

“You have made me two promises, General.”

“General?” The dead man’s eyes went wide as he inspected Cassian with new respect, and fear.

“From across the sea,” Cassian lied smoothly. “Mr. Archeron sent me to look after his daughters in his absence.”

“You made me two promises, General,” Nesta practically snarled. Cassian raised an eyebrow as the realization sunk in.

“You can’t be serious.”

“It is my decision.” Nesta said quietly, but not weakly.

And it was.

It was her choice. How could he claim to be any better than this man if he put his bloodlust before her choice?

Cassian had promised Nesta that he would rip the man who hurt her limb from limb. He also promised her he would protect her people.

A true Queen.

He had never doubted it, but this… protecting even those who wronged her. Rising above her desire for revenge.

Cassian needed to stop coming to the mortal lands. Every time he did he saw something new and magnificent inside of this woman that he could never have.

“Can I at least…” he clenched his fists.

Nesta rolled her eyes, but nodded. “Ensure he does not come back.”

Every bit as regal as the Queen he was now convinced she was, Nesta picked up her skirt and swept out of the room.

Cassian cracked his knuckles. The man backed up a few steps.

“I won’t come back,” he rushed to say. “You don’t have to… I get it. They are under your protection. I can respect that.”

Cassian scoffed, “So you respect a man’s protection but not a woman’s choice?”

“Look I don’t know what that crazy bitch told you, but you’ve been around her. Come on man, you know. Woman could make a saint curse.”

“Yes,” Cassian smiled to himself, “she certainly could.”

It took everything inside of him to hit the man with only human - well, almost human - strength.

A satisfying crack echoed through the room and Cassian could see the two separate places where his nose had broken.

“Right handed or left?”

“Wh- what?”

“Your dominant hand. Right or left.”

“Left,” the man lied pathetically.

Cassian rolled his eyes. “If you’d told the truth I would have only broken that one. But now you lied so I’ll have to do both just to make sure.”

Cassian himself was lying.

He knew from the second he scented fear on Nesta that one day he would shatter the hands that touched her without permission under his boots.

For all of his preening and vibrato, the human man screamed like a babe when Cassian pinned him down and stomped hard on his right hand.

And then the left.

Clutching limp, cracked apart fingers, the man slunk out of the Archeron estate. Cassian only grinned watching him struggle to open the door with his elbows.

“Are you quite satisfied?” Nesta called to him from the other room, not even bothering to stand from her reading settee.

“Not even close.” Cassian tried his best to leach the double meaning from his words, but he knew from the way her lips parted lightly that he had not succeeded. He could only be expected to display so much self control in one damn day.

“You have a reason for being here, I presume?”

“Maybe I just wanted to see you, sweetheart.”

Nesta glared, ice and thunderstorms caught beneath the pale sheen of human eyes, and Cassian knew.

He was so utterly, and completely, fucked.

[thefangirlofhp]

If you don't mind me asking how come you haven't read acosf, and why do you ship elriel?

Tried reading acosf. Last part I read was the chapter Az and Cass sparred in front of Nesta and I’m not sure what came after it but that was it. SJM’s writing isn’t for me; I only read acomaf and acowar because I’d already bought the copies and didn’t want my money to have been spent in vain. I actually liked the first book the most. And the reviews about acosf don’t make me feel like I’m missing out on much— Nessian is general doesn’t make me feel anything at all and I’m not a shipper.

And why wouldn’t anyone ship Elriel? I feel like they’re the only two characters in the entire series who just make sense.

Elriel has so. Much. Potential. So much. They practically write themselves/unfold in your head on their own. As an author, they’re the perfect characters to make a story out of and as a reader, they check all the best tropes in fiction. The elriel tag explains it perfectly, all the reasons those two compliment each other.

Elriel is the perfect mix of the two; the fact that they both are mysterious makes it all the more exciting. During my brief reading of the first chapters of acosf, I couldn’t stand reading about Cassian not because he’s a bad character or a bad personality in general— he was just the epitome of boring, read as a 2D character and in fiction, that’s the worst of crimes. He’s strong, he’s loyal, he’s got a heart of gold- the perfect guy. But there isn’t anything about him that makes you want to know him.

Rhys in acotar and acomaf had that question proposed: good guy doing bad things or humanized bad guy with a redemption arc on the way? which made you want to find out all about him and regardless of the way the answer makes you as a reader feel, in the end he checked the fiction trope of a secret/personality being uncovered. You get some form of cerebral stimulation by him. Cassian couldn’t tickle a thought out of you, I was practically brain dead reading the chapters. Nesta was significantly less boring because, you know, there’s a journey for her character— there’s a story about to be told. Even if it was, in the end, the Power of Friendship and Getting The Good Guy.

Elriel is the combination of them both: Rhys’s mystery and Nesta’s story element. We know so little about them, but the blueprint of their characters fit extremely well that if you merge them together or keep them apart, you still get a story. There are so, so many unanswered questions about Az and Elain as individuals. We know they’re different, they’re abnormal, but we don’t know how. A friend of mine here on tumblr pointed out that SJM is keeping Elain under tight wraps because the girl is a walking spoiler and I agree— Elain’s the key to all the next books, and giving anything away about her prematurely takes away the urge readers have to pick up the new books to just find out.

(Which is a brilliant marketing strategy on SJM’s behalf, kudos to her tbh)

But here are some reasons that make my shipper heart go awh, beyond the fact that those two are the perfect couple:

They’re so fucking soft as people. Elain kills the Main Boss in the series who no one else could and then she just went back to her hobbies like it was nothing. Azriel tortures information out of people, is terror personified to his own people and his own family, but he’s gentle and polite around others and he carries traumatized Seer ladies to gardens and sits with them having tea in the sunshine (how is no one else convulsing at this?)

The fact that they’re both INTROVERTS doesn’t just stimulate the very core of your shipper heart? do people not realize how powerful introverts’ love is? How beautiful that shit it?

They’re extremely perceptive and observant. They’re sensitive to the feelings of others around them, they’re aware of people.

They fucking see each other WITHOUT help? Elain notices his headaches (need I remind people that Azriel is famously unreadable? How sharp is Elain’s eyesight for her to notice him rubbing his temples?) and he can read her without his shadows (see: the most controversial POV on the planet) and he knows what she needs/wants without her saying so? Nonverbal communication is their thing and I’m so here for it.

He figured out that nothing was wrong with her. He was the only one from the beginning who was researching Elain’s predicament— people forget sometimes that Azriel didn’t just have an epiphany in that sitting room and realize all of a sudden Elain was a Seer. He was looking into it before that famous moment.

I’m not hyper focused on the small details that everyone has overanalyzed (he went ahead and rescued her, she kissed him, he gave her his knife, she gave him a gift for solstice, he listens to her talk about her plans, she can read him like no one else, he went to find out how she looked like when she was happy, he stays away from his family because of her— all of this fam is without the easy Get-Out-Of-Jail card that’s the mating bond, an insta love feature that plays matchmaker.) but it’s just who they are. It’s not because of the alignment of their powers (though they do align pretty well if i do say so myself) but the alignment of their personality.

And we know Elain values that over anything else. Elain who’s dismissing the most sacred bond in the universe, because he doesn’t know me. Elain who values tradition, who values culture and habits, who put aside her prejudices and her fear for the sake of goodness. Elain’s not boring— she’s just not problematic and I think most people can’t digest a female character that doesn’t swing around a ten-stone sword or lay waste to kingdoms with some Pick-Me-Chosen-Girl powers shit.

That being said— she has a lot of potential. The position of her character puts her at so many crossroads and it’s exciting to think about which one she’ll end up walking and if anyone is going to walk that path with her.

Azriel, too, has so much room for development. I wont say ‘healing’ because man’s 540 yo. If he was going to ‘heal’ or change he would have a long time ago and he’s not suddenly going to just because a cutsey girl (Ginger or Brunette) smiled at him.

That being said, what did he do about the transgressions against him? Cassian killed his mother’s village and his father. Rhys apparently shattered the bones of Az’s brothers but they’re not dead. Does Az work with them? Is his mother alive and if so, what is the nature of his relationship with her? Does he have siblings? He’s a spy, and the boss of the NC spies, what does his job look like? How can he torture people and then be fine with it? Is he fine with it? Will he stop? Will someone (i am totally referring to a Seer) develop ways with him to extract information out of people without the need for violations? What exactly are his powers? What is a shadowsinger?

Him and Elain are similar. They’re the sensible people, the quiet ones who speak only when they know they’ll be listened to, the ones who people don’t know anything about and whatever information about them is known, it’s very faulty. They’re both misunderstood. They have a wicked discreet sense of humor— brilliant roasts and inside jokes. Az’s shadows are a comfort blanket the way Elain’s baking is her comfort zone, and they meet each other halfway. I’m not a fan of people learning to let go of their comfort zones because like… no. Why would you take that away. I am a supporter of learning to utilize that comfort for develop.

Elriel is just romanticized life. I know Azriel is the perfect dark book boyfriend and that SJM probably sees him as one too but he’s just a soft boy in my head. A soft boy trying to fall in love with the world and there’s a woman who’s trying to do the same and they are literally the equivalent of a peaceful picnic in a meadow of green and earth and just life. Life, horrible and rough and unkind as she is but it’s nature. Mother nature. She’s not evil, she’s not good. She just is. Nature, nonsentience at its best, being exactly who she is. Formidable, scary, unwavering but not evil. Not human. I can’t describe it.

The potential secret dating trope?

I am a woman of the firm opinion that being paid attention is the sexiest thing that can ever be done by man. I don’t care about looks, I don’t care about tropes— when a character just pays the right attention to another person? That they’re conscious of them? They have dedicated their mind and day to them? That shit slaps harder than the oblivious You-Are-In-Love-With-This-Person-Even-If-You-Havent-A-Clue. It’s like hello? You are a sentient being of your own, you are an entire person, and you consciously choose to acknowledge my own person? You are aware of me so keenly? And the best part is that it goes both ways fam. IT GOES BOTH WAYS.

They are iconic. Literally icons of perfect blissful love.

The fucking Hades/Persephone vibes??????

Notice how I frequently say development. Not change. The person Elain was in Chapter 1 of Acotar is not the same as the one in the chapters of Acomaf and is most certainly not the lady in acowar, acofas and acosf. But notice how she’s true to herself? I’ll stop going on about those two anon because I’m not sure this is what you asked for, but yeah. At the start of February 2020 I was a fan of Elriel, now I’m a full on AC blasted 24/7.

Here, have some soft elriel aesthetic so you know what I mean.

[c-e-d-dreamer]

Omg for a prompt: Stardust!Nessian AU where Nesta is a fallen star and Cassian finds her and they go on adventures

Did I use this ask as an excuse to re-watch Stardust? Absolutely, I did. What a great film. But... in my mind, Nessian is sort of instant love, or Cassian is instant simp really, and in Stardust, Tristan is super slow on the uptake. So I just don't see Cassian as Tristan. But I do feel like Tristan's character/arc makes a lot of sense for Azriel sooooo I hope you will accept Gwynriel instead? Also, this is my first time ever writing Gwynriel so fingers crossed it's not too bad. Also also, apologies for making Elain Victoria, but it made the most sense to me. Cassian as Captain Shakespeare anyone?Anyways! Enjoy! :)

Clack

Clack

Azriel scoops up another rock from below his feet, poised to toss it, when the window above swings open. Elain’s head appears, soft curls of brown hair pulled back and away from her face. A soft smile is pulled across her lips, and her cheeks are a beautiful dusting of pink that has the air stuttering to a stop in Azriel’s lungs, his heart picking up to beat double time in his chest. But then, Elain’s smile is falling away, her lips pinching slightly instead.

“Azriel, what are you doing here? I told you not to come,” she calls down to him.

“I have a surprise,” Azriel promises.

Elain pulls her window closed, and Azriel can feel himself deflate, feel his heart sink down into his stomach where it twists and aches. He kicks up the rocks at his feet and turns to head back home.

“It better be a good surprise,” Elain’s voice startles him.

He turns to see her stepping out of her home. She settles into step beside him, looping her arm through his. The touch sends lightning scattering across his skin, and he can feel his lips pulling up into a smile. He leads her down the town road, veering off into one of the small meadows, where he had laid out a blanket and set up candles earlier. He guides Elain to sit then uncorks the bottle of wine he had packed, pouring them each a glass.

“You know I don’t think anyone has ever done anything like this for me,” Elain says, taking a sip of her wine.

“Certainly not Lucien,” Azriel can’t help but quip.

“No,” Elain agrees. “But he is going to the Summer Court to get me a ring.”

“The Summer Cou—did you say a ring?” Azriel asks, practically choking on his own glass of wine.

“Yes,” Elain explains, her tone becoming wistful. “Apparently, he’s going to propose on my birthday.”

“Elain,” Azriel starts, taking her wine to set down beside his own then grabbing her hands. “Why would you want a ring from the Summer Court? I would travel to the continent to get you a ring. I would—”

Before Azriel can finish, the sky is ablaze in a brilliant white light. They both look up in time to see a star streak across the violet sky, lighting up the trees and fields below for just a moment before everything fades back to shadows. Even after the sky returns to its previous undisturbed state, the remaining stars twinkling as though nothing had happened, Azriel and Elain continue to stare, awed breaths mingling on the summer breeze. That’s when the idea hits him.

“A ring from the Summer Court? I’d bring you back a star.”

“You’d find and bring me that star?”

“Yes.”

“My birthday is in a week, you know.”

“I know.”

“It’s a deal then.”

After his evening with Elain, Azriel feels a lightness in his step as he heads back to his home. This is finally his chance. He’ll retrieve the star, present it to Elain, and that will be that. Lucien and his ring from the Summer Court will be long forgotten. How hard can it be?

Once Azriel makes it home, he heads up to his room and reaches under his bed, pulling out the small box he keeps there. Slowly, he opens it, letting out a soft breath as he takes in the contents. He grabs the small chain first, slipping it into his pocket, then he carefully takes out the black candle. He grabs the box of matches from his dresser and lights the wick, squeezing his eyes shut as he focuses on Elain and the star.

The whooshing sensation leaves Azriel’s head spinning, his limbs feeling like they’re being stretched thin while cold wind whips and cuts against his cheeks. And then he’s crashing, tumbling forward while the air is knocked from his lungs. The ground is surprisingly soft beneath him, cushioning his fall enough that he gets away without any serious injuries or bruises.

“Would you get off me?” the ground exclaims from underneath him.

Azriel’s eyes snap open only to find it wasn’t the ground he fell into, but a woman. He scrambles back, an apology already poised on the tip of his tongue. He fully takes the woman in then. She’s wearing a simple silk silver dress that pools around her feet where she has her knees tucked up against herself. Even in the darkness of the night, her red hair stands out, soft tresses tumbling down across her shoulders. Her eyes are a bright teal shade, but the way they’re narrowed on Azriel paired with her freckle smattered nose scrunched in distaste has Azriel awkwardly turning away.

It’s in that moment that Azriel notices his surroundings, the walls of charred earth that circle them on all sides and hide the tree line above. He slowly spins in a circle, eyes tracking the edges of the crater before his eyes snap to his feet. There, in the center of the crater, is a bluish slab of stone, glittering silver under the moon. He reaches down, running his fingers against the smooth surface, his eyes darting around but there’s nothing but more charred earth.

“Have you,” Azriel starts, clearing his throat awkwardly as he looks back at the woman. “Any chance that you’ve seen a star?”

“Are you serious?” the woman asks dryly.

“I mean look at this crater we’re in. It had to have landed here.”

“It did land here. The star was just minding her business and then she got knocked out of the sky and landed here. And if that wasn’t bad enough, then she got knocked over by some crazy dude.”

Azriel blinks a few times, his mind trying to catch up to the words she’s saying. Clearly the cogs are rusted as they try to turn and whirl into motion, but then it dawns on him. This woman in a silver dress in the middle of a crater.

“You’re the star,” Azriel whispers, his voice awed.

“Wow, nothing gets past you,” the star mutters.

"I found you!"

"Found me? We're using that phrase a bit loosely, aren't we?"

“Look, I need you to come back to Wall with me,” Azriel explains. “I promised Elain that I would bring her a star for her birthday.”

“Oh, well in that case,” the star quips, tone dripping with sarcasm, before she turns her back fully on Azriel with a roll of her teal eyes.

Azriel just barely swallows down a sigh. He can’t see any hints of the town lights above them, so they must be farther from Wall than he thought. That just means it’s going to take them a while to walk all the way there, and Elain’s birthday is in a week. In a week’s time, if he doesn’t arrive back with a star, she’s going to marry Lucien. So before he can think twice about it, Azriel digs the chain out of his pocket. He walks over to the star and wraps it around her wrist, the magic in the chain closing the loop with ease.

“What do you think you’re doing?” the woman snaps. She tugs at the chain, but it doesn’t give, and the glare she shoots him has Azriel taking a few cautious steps back.

“If you come back to Wall with me and meet Elain, I’ll help you get home, okay?” Azriel offers.

The star continues to stare him down, those teal eyes seeming to cut down into Azriel’s very soul, taking up home under his skin. It leaves him swallowing hard and readjusting the end of the chain clutched in his hand. But then without another word, the star pushes to her feet and raises an eyebrow expectantly at Azriel.

It’s going to be a long week.

[starfallkaz]

ACOTAR THOUGHTS THAT MAKE ME DIE INSIDE

I feel physically sick I adore them so much

azriel lying down next to you and he places his head in your lap and when you run your hands gently through his hair, the frantic dancing of his shadows just visibly still

Standing with rhys in a storm and the water is just streaming down his face, hair plastering down and he’s staring at you. And you reach to cup his cheek and he’s trembling so much but it’s not because of the rain

Young Cassian, too cocky for his own good, getting into a drunken fight and you watch as he gets a solid punch to his face. His eyes are bright and oh so brilliant, and he darkly laughs, wiping blood from the corner of his mouth and launching himself at his opponent

Rhys and Cassian drunk slow-dancing one starfall, with sleepy smiles on their faces and Cassian’s hand falls to Rhys’ ass. Mor is laughing so hard in the corner, she falls off of her chair

Just before sunrise and young Azriel rolls his eyes as he stoops to help a drunken Rhys stand and walk home. Rhys laughs and takes the opportunity to pull him into a headlock as he grumbles miserably. Cassian insists he is fine standing by himself, before he confidently walks right into the Sidra

Laughing so hard with Cas, as he tells you stories of the idiocy of his youth. you’re quietly gasping for air with tears in your eyes and Cassian looks over at you- he thinks that joy looks oh so utterly beautiful on you

Azriel, usually so carefully blank with his features, sees you coming in from the garden with wildflowers in your hand and flushed cheeks. His lips part slightly as he takes you in- and he feels like a teenager with his first crush.

If nessian were parents: Cassian teaching his daughter to fight and Nesta is calling out encouragment from the sidelines during these mock battles. like, “aim for his shins” or... “that rib right there, step on that one,” to her enthusiastic daughter. Cassian fake dying or collapsing every now and then

Azriel likes to tease your daughter by poking her with his shadows and making them disappear as she giggles. One day he tries to poke the toddler but she turns and grabs the shadow between her chubby fingers. Azriel is so shocked his jaw drops and he yelps.

Mor eats the last slice of dessert when Cas wanted it and he says, with all seriousness, “you’re dead to me”. For the next week, whenever she tries to talk to him he pretends to weep “she may be gone but it’s almost like I can still hear her voice���.

Feysand’s baby son so happy that he sometimes just glows like the day court. Feyre walks into their bedroom one day to find Rhys twirling their baby boy around the room singing “glow baby glow baby glow, glow baby glow baby glow”. (To the tune of: don’t upset the rhythm by the noisettes)

Just imagine young Rhysand trying to keep calm around you on your first starfall together. And god, fuck, he’s trying to keep it all together (desperately) but you look so radiant he can’t breathe. He seems to be completely fine on the outside but there’s an almost imperceptible tremble when he picks up a flute of champagne. Cassian sees the sheer panic in his eyes when you ask him to dance.

think fast except it’s just Cassian pushing Azriel off of the house of wind.

[bittermuire]

Hold My Hand: Part One

Gwynriel (and Nessian) modern au, told from the perspectives of Gwyn and Azriel.

---

The face in the mirror is one Gwyn has slowly come to recognize as her own.

Tired, wan, pale. Messy; freckles scattered carelessly. Cracked lips and circles beneath placid teal eyes. Dull coppery hair, caught up in a braid long enough to brush the small of her back.

She doesn’t know long she might have stood there—still, motionless in the dimness of her bedroom, staring at a face which always stared back—but then there’s a clinking of noise coming from the kitchen, and a distant hum. Plates are being set on the table, glasses are being filled, breakfast is being cooked, by Emerie.

Emerie always cooks, saying she loves to, that it’s a good way to start the day. Gwyn is grateful for it. She’d probably have cereal every morning if not for her friend.

“You coming?” Emerie calls.

Gwyn feels a little rush of warmth. “Yeah, one second!” Without a backward glance she grabs her sweater, pulling it over her head as she steps out into the hall.

Emerie is perfectly put together this morning, as always. Her gleaming black hair is in a bun at the nape of her neck, makeup needless with her smooth brown skin. But it’s her smile that’s most beautiful.

“Good morning, sleepyhead,” she says, giving Gwyn a healthy helping of eggs and bacon. Their two dogs, Geri and Freki, lift their heads as the aroma meets their fuzzy snouts.

“Good morning.” Gwyn smiles too, and Emerie sits across from her. “I thought Nesta was coming over for breakfast.”

Emerie shakes her head, shoveling a forkful of eggs into her mouth. “She just texted. She can’t make it. Something’s up with Feyre.”

“Feyre?”

“Feyre.”

The disdain is clear in her tone. Emerie’s never liked what Nesta refers to as the ‘Inner Circle,’ knowing that their friend has always felt distinctly apart from it.

“Weird,” Gwyn mutters, and Emerie grunts in response.

“Anyway,” she says, “I gotta run. I’ve got an early appointment at…” she trails off, checking her watch. “... Oh, shit. I have to go.”

Gwyn laughs as her friend frantically slings her back over her shoulder and grabs her in a quick hug, rushing out the door.

“Bye!”

“Bye, Emerie!”

And then the lock clicks, and the silence falls, and Gwyn hurries to fill it with mindless cooing to the dogs and lazy singing, knowing what ugly things will find her in the dark.

Her work at the library starts soon, and so she clears the table, still singing and still cooing, the dogs now jumping around with new energy. By the time she’s done, she’s ready to leave—with a pat on each dog’s soft head, Gwyn locks the door behind her, and heads down to the lobby of their building.

•

“Gwyn!”

The word is a shouted whisper, followed by the rustling of a raincoat and papers. Gwyn turns to see Nesta striding through the library, usually stormy face bright and smiling, arms full of folders and hair damp from the drizzling rain. Gwyn sets down the stack of books she was shelving and pulls Nesta into a quick hug, happy to see her.

“What are you doing here?” she asks.

Nesta shrugs. “I’m focusing on Scandinavian history right now and Merrill,” she leans in close, voice lowering, “that heinous woman, is the one to go to.”

“Yikes.” Gwyn grimaces, seeing her boss’s stony face in her mind’s eye. “Do you like it?”

“The research? Yes. I love it.” Something warm flickers in her ice blue eyes, and Gwyn is struck by the wave of protectiveness she feels for her friend.

“But besides that,” Nesta goes on, “I’m still coming over to your place for dinner, right? It’s our nineties rom-com night.”

“Of course you are, but I’m picking.”

Nesta laughs dryly. “Sure you are. I’ll fight you.”

“Emerie wants My Best Friend’s Wedding.”

“I could do that,” Nesta says thoughtfully. She cocks her head, gaze falling down the aisle to the desks beyond. “There’s Merrill. I’ll see you tonight.”

She strides off, commanding as ever, and Gwyn looks after her.

It’s strange. The Nesta Gwyn knows is a brilliant woman, kind and loving and caring, protective and loyal and beautiful. The Nesta she knows so often curls up on the couch with a blanket, sipping hot chocolate on a simmering summer night, crying over a Disney movie. But then there is the Nesta so many others know—cold and hard and ruthless, stunning like a frigid winter morning.

She is, in a way. But everyone, Gwyn thinks, stops there. They never try to find anything beyond Nesta’s exterior. And that’s where they always go wrong.

•

The doorbell rings when all three of them are snuggled under a blanket, My Best Friend’s Wedding rented and ready. They all look at each other, wide-eyed, like young sisters home alone and too afraid to open the door.

With a heaving sigh, Emerie throws the blanket off of her legs and goes to the door.

“I’ll get it,” she says, and Gwyn and Nesta laugh.

“Thank you, darling dearest!”

Whatever spiked retort that’s most surely on Emerie’s tongue is swallowed when the door clicks open. Gwyn cranes her neck to see, and goes still.

Two men are in the doorway —tall, broad men, dark-haired and handsome. They aren’t so frightening until she sees their hands. Big hands. The hands of men accustomed to getting what they want.

Gwyn shrinks farther into herself, and it’s that which makes Nesta look at her, brow furrowed.

“What’s wrong?” she asks, and turns as well to see who is in the doorway. Gwyn can see, painfully clearly, Nesta’s face drain of color.

One of the men steps forward. He smiles rakishly, raising a hand in an awkward wave. “Hi. I’m Cassian.”

Something like a hiss slithers from Nesta’s throat, and Gwyn places a hand on her arm. “What’s he doing here?” she murmurs. Nesta looks at her, and there’s something pleading in her eyes.

“I don’t know.”

Emerie opens the door wider. “Uh, come in.” They step inside, and Cassian’s attention is wholly fixed on Nesta. Gwyn wants to run.

It’s funny—the way they treat the apartment like a fortification. Gwyn thinks that the three of them have found safety in each other, but only in each other. Anyone in the doorway is a threat.

The room is quiet. Cassian rocks on his heels, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “Nesta, you’re having dinner with us tonight.”

“She’s having dinner with us, as you can see.” Emerie crosses her arms.

The second of the two men shifts uncomfortably, and Gwyn’s eyes catch on him. He’s… beautiful. In a way she did not find most people to be.

Cassian sighs. “Feyre wants you for dinner.”

“I just had breakfast with you all,” Nesta says, quietly. “I’m with my friends for tonight.”

Gwyn and Emerie share a look. Their words are clear.

She never talks like that to them. What happened at breakfast?

Something’s wrong.

Gwyn looks again to Nesta, but somewhere along the way, she meets the curious gaze of the second man. His eyes are dark and shifting. Something flickers in them as they meet hers; she feels, suddenly, as if they are sharing a feeling.

She wonders if he noticed her little exchange with Emerie.

“It’s just one dinner,” Cassian says impatiently. “One, Nesta. C’mon. We gotta go.”

Emerie lets out a sharp breath. “I told you—”

“It’s fine. I’ll go.”

Nesta rises from the couch, smoothing out her shirt. With quick fingers, she ties up her hair and grabs her bag. Cassian watches closely. As she passes, he looks like he wants to touch her. He doesn’t.

But the second one—as he goes to leave, he looks over his shoulder. Those eyes aren’t as dark as they meet hers again. And Gwyn isn’t afraid.

She isn’t afraid at all.

The three of them are gone in a matter of seconds, and steam is nearly coming out of Emerie’s ears as she closes the door.

“Those assholes—who do they think they are? Seriously! Just dragging her out of here!” Emerie huffs. “‘It’s just one dinner, Nesta.’ Oh, yeah, for sure—go ahead, fuck with her life, then hold her hostage for just one dinner, I’m sure she won’t mind.”

Gwyn wants to share in her mockery of those two, but she’s stuck in those ten seconds prior, when she was looking at a man and he was looking at her, and she wasn’t afraid.

That doesn’t really happen anymore… at least, it hasn’t happened in years. Gwyn had firmly believed that it wouldn’t ever happen again.

Until this.

Emerie flops down on the couch, and looks at Gwyn with startling ferocity. “We’ve got to save her.”

Gwyn smiles wryly.

“We’re going to save her.”

---

To be honest, I don’t really know what I’m doing? I got this idea for a modern au and then really wanted to write it, but I’m terrible with anything longer than a one-shot so... we’ll see how it goes.

Basically, this is going to be half-and-half Gwynriel and Nessian (told through Gwyn and Az), as well as lots of scenes with the Valkyries. I’ve got a rough idea of a plot, but right now it includes more emphasis on the girls’ friendship, Nesta’s separation from the IC, Gwyn’s friendship with Az, and Emerie’s struggle to grow out of her past.

So yeah. I’m nervous to see where this goes, but excited too :)

Tags: @lovelywordsandwine @gwynkyrie @princessofmerchants-reads @gwynrielsupremacy

[elriell]

This will be random, but after reading Azriel's PoV, I was outraged because I honestly did not expect ANYTHING from that and I confess, it infuriated me. But now after the euphoria I went through and read your goals - which are so polite - I stopped being crazy and started thinking: Elain and Azriel are pure anguish now. Azriel: imagine spending 500 years loving someone who doesn't love you, and then seeing - in a few years - your two brothers found unconditional and immortal love, just imagine that? Azriel must be feeling horrible, unworthy, alone and abandoned. Elain: Imagine loving a guy a lot and after you transform, he rejects and humiliates you, here comes a strange guy - I don't hate Lucien, I actually love the character, but not with Elain - and he says that you are cosmically entwined and there to close with a flourish, you start to see your two sisters happy with their companions. Elain is completely alone, no one there can really help her, no one there can really understand her, she cannot talk openly with the sisters because Feyre and Nestha would not understand what it is like to have a partner when you DON'T WANT TO HAVE - again I don't hate the characters, I'm just talking - Azriel and Elain are completely alone and above all misunderstood - mainly by the people they love - now they are both attracted to each other and what happened? It became banned. SJM did not give us anguish with Nessian, the real anguish is with Elriel. Sorry for the long text, and if you allow me I will come back with more Elriel's ask on his tumblr - which I have come to love - and sorry for bad English, it is not my mother tongue.

I have said it before and I will say it again, never ever apologise for not speaking perfectly, even though this was actually perfect. the fact that you are learning or have learnt a second language is incredibly impressive and should never be undervalued.

 As for everything you said,  I literally don't even know what to tell you because honestly you've basically said everything that I feel, this is perfect again like a few times another asks, I don't even know where I can contribute to this because it's brilliant. At the end of the day you alright Sarah didn't cause all this conflict but I'm not to resolve it, she didn't build Elriel for years and 4 books with a relationship just to throw it away for a character we just met.

 Of course I've always to get to the matter of opinion,  another day Sarah loves conflict she loves anguish she loves epic loves, the ones that put you at the edge of your seat. and let's be honest that is a forbidden Romance, that is them. there would be no point having Rhys  bring up the blood Duel, bring up secondary mates,  bring up any of it forbidden if it was just going to be swept under the rug unforgotten.

 I definitely feel like this last book really shows you how alone he is. And  I am not saying that to their fault per say  and I understand that and had a lot on his plate but it really showed how Az  hasn't really had anyone to speak to you about his feelings and I really think that needs to be addressed.  and people spend so much time casting her side they do the exact same thing, and that's why I'm so glad own time to shine and heal together.

Believe in Elriel, and believe in Sarah!

Please feel free to come back anytime you want I am always here to have a conversation, especially with people like you who have such beautiful points. <3

[anidealiveson]

Thanksvember Master Post

Day 1 - Like Coming Home - It has a super rare “wholesome plot twist”! Without spoiling anything too huge, I really like that @julesherondalex took the time to talk about how important it is to take care of yourself first. You can’t love someone else properly, the way they deserve, if you don’t have that same love for yourself. I wasn’t expecting the heartbreaking scene, but the beautiful way in which that topic was was approached neither took away from the story or the joy.

Day 2 - Must Love Dogs - An incredibly fluffy (literally) fic that I loved reading. @rosehallshadowsinger did a really great job weaving Azriel and Elain’s canon personalities into this adorable AU scenario. It is obvious @rosehallshadowsinger took care to create believable personalities for two characters that didn’t get POVs in the books.

Day 3 - Striking Matches -  I have to say that I wasn’t at all attracted to an AU fic about firefighters. I was also not a big Rowaelin fan before that, but I was work procrastinating so I gave it a try. Wellll, 30 parts later, I found myself delighted at the writing and sad it was over. I couldn’t believe how well @shyvioletcat cat was able to entirely re-characterize these two into such a different setting, yet still retaining what made them popular in the books. Aelin was perfect in her role as a snarky schoolteacher irritating the stoic firefighter Rowan. And the descriptions of the kids lining up at the firehouse demonstration and Jake’s adorable prodding was icing on the cake.

Day 4 - Close Quarters -  I really loved the way @lady-therion wrote Nesta in this modern AU. I particularly like how she equates Nesta’s sometimes standoffish attitude as a very relatable personality trait. She has trouble reading people and gauging situations. It’s well written and the dialogue is unique for a plot that is common in ff!

Day 5 - Like A Lonely House - It’s got a colossal I love Lucy level misunderstanding mixed in with a lot of tension and angst. This Nesta that is full of sacrifice and duty and fire is how I imagine the Nesta who feels that she has a stake in the Fae world would be like. @featherymalignancy wove such a captivating new world in Macar, that it felt a lot like being introduced to the 8th court in the ACOTAR world.

Day 6 - Death Dance - There are several takes out there that touch on Nesta in the Ilyrian camps, but I love how @thewayshedreamed interpreted Nesta’s skills on the battlefield as a calculated dance. Nesta has always been a raging storm, but I love how @thewayshedreamed took care to show us a Nesta that channeled that storm into discipline. If SJM never intended to release a Nessian focused book, I would have considered this a satisfying end to their story.

Day 7 - One Night Standards - I love the way @sassyhobbits writes Aelin with her typical extremely sassy exterior, but also made sure to saddle her with a vulnerable side that runs deep. I normally don’t care for slow burns, but I like the pace of her relationship with Rowan here, and that they had to work hard at it. I also like the plot lines that involved their PR stunts and how the public grew to love them as well.

Day 8 - Goose Chasing - Its the most absurd plot of any fanfic I’ve read! The title is not figurative. Its really does involve chasing a goose. @rhysismydaddy did a fantastic job encapsulating the spirit of silly Cassian and grumpy Nesta in a situation they’d likely never find themselves in, yet making it entirely believable. 

Day 9 - Manon Chooses The Worst Babysitter Possible - It’s such a casual and fluffy and hilarious read. It was fun to read about a softer and more delicate Manon. Through this absurd mistake, @sarah-bae-maas did an excellent job really humanizing Manon and postulating a fun in-world domestic scenario. 

Day 10 - My Hunger Knows No Bounds -  @perseusannabeth manages to take a simple concept and weave a sweet narrative. I particularly love how @perseusannabeth incorporated her personal details into it and took the time to share her lovely culture with us.

Day 11 - Knowing me, Knowing you - We never got to actually see Aelin rule Terrasen (well we got a tinyyy bit) in the books. Though this was modern day, @nalgenewhore tells a fun story of what that could have been like.

Day 12 -  Forever (is a long time) - @noodlecatposts takes Elide and Lorcan’s completely polar opposite personalities and spins an interesting (and frankly quite adorable) story. All the rules crack me up. My favorite Lorcan is the one that reminds me of Luke Danes from Gilmore Girls. Currently, he is in the middle of grumpily fixing up her flooded room, so I am sure that my favorite parts are yet to come.

Day 13 - Go Your Own Way - I appreciate @tomtenadia for putting to words a scene that I desperately wanted in ACOWAR or even ACOFAS. A lovely parallel to an equally lovely Fleetwood mac song.

Day 14 - In Which She Makes A Friend - It is no surprise that the fandom wants Nesta to find her place in the Illyrian mountains and even bring about some social change with the female warriors. But the way @bookstantrash got there was such a wonderful and endearing journey. Big fan of the callbacks to how Kaelin was treated and the similarities to a certain Illyrian warrior was when he was younger. We got to see a sweet Nesta, who I’d like to think was attempting to make up for some of her regrets through taking care of Kaelin.

Day 15 - The Ranch - As a huge fan of Sweet Home Alabama, its should be no surprise that I loved this fic by @tacmc . I enjoyed the slow change that we saw in a stubborn Nesta as she opened up to this new way of life and reconnected with her sisters and found a home with Cassian.

Day 16 - Felons - Such a unique interpretation of Nesta and Cassian. I really like the self-sacrificing Nesta angle and @rhysismydaddy did a great job weaving intrigue into the unraveling of what we knew to be a her innocence. I never read The Witness, but this really made me want to.

Day 17 - Of Books and Timber - Cassian offers to build a shelf for Nesta. The way @duskandstarlight goes through the entire range of emotions through Nesta is brilliant. She starts out with cold indifference, but by the end, we get from her a sweet and tender gesture of gratitude. Showing that meeting each other halfway with small gestures is all they ever needed.

Day 18 - You Should Sleep In My Bed More Often - I absolutely loved this quick exchange between Nesta and Cassian after she accidentally injures him. I can’t believe how much I laughed out loud when Cassian said “I need you to protect me closer”. @charincharge​ perfectly captured the teasing childish essence of Cassian and Nesta’s hilarious victim-blaming was so on the nose that I might have thought this was taken right out of ACOSAF.

Day 19 - The Right Swipe - I really enjoyed this take on the inner circle mixed with the super modern online dating plot. I especially love that @redisriding created genuinely realistic characters (body issues, social anxiety etc). Great read!

Day 20 - Goldfish Prompt - What a fun read. I love how frantic and much personality Feyre had here. I love how dedicated to her fish she was, and how that made her super endearing. Cute read from @azrielsiphons

Day 21 - The One With The Snowstorm -  What I really like is that Cassian actually says that he is sorry for his part in Nesta’s exile. I am not bitter about it, but it was an interesting turn. They need to meet halfway here and I rarely see it so well written as @joysbell has done here!

Day 22 - Prompt - A lovely and cute and sweet prompt written by @crowsvalentine​! I love the ramp up of suspense just to get to the hilarious payoff. Its adorable and worth the quick read.

Day 23 - Fix It -  is one by @thewayshedreamed​ that I love in its simplicity. It’s a small little argument Cassian and Nesta get into, but its still compelling. It’s sweet and super endearing the way the two of them are written and the subtle way they work through it. Great read!

Day 24 - I Do Bad Things To You - The mob angle may have been done before, but I don’t think with as much care and regard that @tswaney17​ has been giving it. I how the canon personalities of the characters translate so well into this modern AU. Its very obvious that @tswaney17​ has done her research. I especially love all the details around Elain as a surgeon. The story is compelling and well written and every chapter has me wanting more.

Day 25 - Love Her Like She should Be Loved - This is an excellent fic that I really loved. @julemmaes did such a great job translating some of the canon tension from ACOFAS into a modern world. It’s ripe with emotion, drama and quite a bit of heart. I love how earnestly Cassian comes to Nesta’s defense even in the face of going against his entire family. I like the reference to some very real psychological struggles. I think a lot of people can relate to it.

Day 26 - Literally In Love - I really enjoy the subtle mystery that follows this entire journey. I enjoy that @julesherondalex keeps us guessing, while simultaneously weaving a sweet and tender story about two shy teachers and just a slew of mishaps worthy of a Shakespearian drama.

Day 27 - The Shadow Bond - I love Azriel, and this is such a wonderful fic by @radientwings​ focusing on how his shadows might work. His shadows are the one thing that I am most curious about him in the series, so it was lovely to read such a well written interpretation of them.

Day 28 - Exes and Oh’s - Just a shout out to @highqueenofelfhame​ for this lovely story about rekindling past love. I like that even though the plot was uncomplicated, the emotions were not. I love that Aelin didn’t have a perfect reason for what she did, but sometimes that is just how things are. This is a story about taking a second chance, whether it’s deserved or not.

Day 29 - Fever - I really love this fic called Fever. I enjoyed how @lady-therion​ portrayed Nesta. She hit the entire gammut of characteristics (snarky, worried, vulnerable, caring, short-tempered, flirty, you name it!) but it really worked here. I found this nurse Nesta to be endearing and relatable and the dynamic between her and Cassian was very sweet. Just go read the damned thing.

Day 30 - Baby Steps - I really really love this fic. @runesandfaes did such a great job in just so few words to show a really sweet moment between Chaol, Yrene and their daughter learning to walk. I love the parallel back to when Chaol was learning to walk and the cameo of the golden couch. So sweet.

[thewayshedreamed]

Fight or Flight— Nessian AU

This one-shot goes out to @bookstantrash 💕 

Thank you so much for the prompt— “I almost lost you.” for Nessian! Prompt is in bold within the post.

Warnings for strong language + mentions of combat and injury

——————————————————————————

Cassian fell into his office chair around 4:30 PM, the force rocking him back a little. He squinted his eyes and pinched his scrunched nose between his thumb and forefinger as he willed this Cauldron-foresaken day to end.

It had been a long day of strategy meetings, supplemental trainings, drills, and checkrides. He had a rather uncomfortable conversation with a cocky little shit of a pilot, who carried himself as if the other members of his flight were there to provide a backdrop for his greatness. Overall, his flight team was skilled, dedicated, and they treated him with so much respect that it surprised him at times. Not that he wasn’t deserving of that respect, having risen through the ranks with impressive speed since joining the military as an airman all those years ago.

According to his superior officers, he was one of the finest pilots for generations, and he had shown a natural ability for leadership as early as basic training. He was dedicated to being fair, set high standards for the members of his flight, and considered their input as frequently as he could. In return, they made his job somewhat easier by executing his orders flawlessly and in a timely manner. Most of the time, anyway.

The loud rumble in his stomach reminded him that he had skipped lunch. It wasn’t the first time, nor would it be the last, but he tried not to lament over small things considering they were at war. There was never enough time, and he’d adapted over the years to running on very little when necessary. He rubbed his eyes roughly with his palms, blinking against the light coming in from the window and looked to see what tasks remained for the day. Nothing that couldn’t wait for Monday.

He grabbed his jacket and aviator sunglasses as he stood, put them on, and walked out of his small office a little early.

“Would you like me to forward your calls, Captain Mortel?”

“You know me well, Nuala,” he said with quick wink. “You wouldn’t happen to know if Captain Spion is back, would you?”

”He’s gone for the day,” a deep voice called from several office spaces down the hall.

“Never mind. That answers my question,” he chuckled. “Have a good weekend.”

”You too, Captain,” she said with a small smile.

He walked the several paces down the hallway to Azriel’s office, hoping to drag him out early along with him. He leaned in the doorway, offering a small knock on the door jamb with his knuckle. Azriel looked up from his desk, leaned back, and ran his hands down his face.

“You look like you had the same day I had,” Cassian said through a laugh.

Azriel gave an ironic-sounding laugh in return. “Was your day a complete shit show? Because if so, you would be correct.”

”Almost makes me miss the days where all I had to worry about was my own plane and my checkrides,” he replied wistfully.

”Don’t pretend you worried about your scores. False humility doesn’t suit you.” Azriel stood from his desk to gather his things.

Cassian laughed, the sound echoing through the hallway. “I seem to remember you doing okay for yourself, too.”

It was true. They were almost terrifying as members of the same flight, and they regularly set the bar for the rest of the pilots. Both of them extended their help wherever the could, aiming to improve their fellow airmen’s performances in everything from confidence to specific maneuvers. When they’d each climbed the ranks to Captain, it was almost poetic that they became flight commanders within the same squadron.

They walked out of the building together, discussing where and when they were going to meet up to drown this day in whiskey. They decided they would meet at the bar after they both showered and ate dinner. Speaking of which, he realized he had almost nothing in his apartment for food. He decided to go by the commissary to grab a few things to cook, hoping that maybe he was early enough to get in and out quickly.

The gods had mercy on him, and he found himself standing in the short checkout line within minutes. He zoned out while he waited, his gaze fixed toward the commissary doors as he daydreamed. His thoughts were interrupted as a familiar head of golden brown hair entered his line of sight.

Nesta Archeron, a brilliant intelligence officer who he had the frequent pleasure of running into on base. His first encounters with her were short, mere introductions before she shared relevant information to his superior officers. He had served as a liaison as well, traveling to her building to make requests or gather information on behalf of his Commander.

They started to share pleasantries when they would run into each other, asking benign questions about each others’ days or commenting on things around base. She was stunning, her features elegant and soft. And those eyes. They seemed to cut through him like no one else’s ever had. He’d basically word-vomited the fact that she was beautiful one day and asked her out for dinner. She’d chuckled and tapped him on the top of his shoulder with a cupped hand before stating, “That’s not a good idea, Captain.” Then, she had just walked away.

Not that he had certain expectations, but he was always a little perturbed by her sheer indifference anytime they spoke. He hadn’t changed how he interacted with her after she shut him down, not wanting her to think his kindness hadn’t been genuine, but it wore on him that she never seemed to drop her mask of politeness. Quite honestly, he was used to people liking him pretty readily, his charm and warm demeanor immediately putting them at ease. Nesta Archeron was not most people, though. That was probably the reason, he mused, that he’d been thinking about her basically every godsdamned free minute he had in the day. She was an enigma, and he felt compelled to figure her out.

——————————————————————————

He was on his second whiskey, listening to the band that was playing and making idle conversation with Azriel. He noticed a group of women nearby who kept looking over at them, and a drink appeared in front of Az minutes later. He chuckled, leaning in to Azriel to taunt him a little, but the words died on his tongue.

Walking in across the bar was none other than Nesta. She was in a short-sleeved red dress that kicked out just a little at the waist, falling at her knees. Her hair was in a low chignon, curls pinned around her face and a delicate comb tucked in close to the bun. She was smiling, speaking to an incredibly petite woman with short, dark hair. He recognized her from the intelligence office; Amren, he believed.

His mouth dried up as his eyes trailed Nesta’s long legs, landing on the pair of black pumps she wore on her feet. He tried, and probably failed, to be subtle in looking at her, but the red lipstick that graced her lips was killing him. He was so jealous of that stupid fucking lipstick.

“You should go talk to her,” Azriel said. He jumped slightly, having almost forgotten he wasn’t alone. Not so subtle, obviously.

Cassian shook his head and cleared his throat. “I’m good. You don’t have to babysit, you know. I think you owe someone a ‘thank you’ dance for the drink,” he deflected.

Az gave him a small, sideways smile. He was almost bashful when this sort of thing happened to him, which was a lot, now that Cassian thought about it. His knew his eyes were already searching for Nesta against his will, and he decided that maybe he should give up trying to ignore her.

“Tell you what. You go say your thanks, and I’ll go ask Archeron to dance with me.”

”Easy for you to say. You know her already.”

”Exactly. Which means that I know I’ll likely get shut down. I’m doing this for you, brother.”

”How noble of you,” Azriel said, as he knocked back the rest of his whiskey and rose to his feet.

——————————————————————————

It took him a third whiskey and several more minutes to even consider standing up to find Nesta. He knew Azriel would never let him live it down if he didn’t go over there, but he took his time deciding if his pride would better survive Azriel’s eternal taunts or Nesta’s rejection.

You are a fucking pilot and flight commander who has to lead dozens of men every day. You can handle asking a woman to dance with you. Go talk to her, you idiot.

Turns out, his inner monologue was kind of a dick.

He rose to his feet, scanning the room until his eyes landed on her. She was sitting at a table with Amren and several other women, a glass of neat whiskey in front of her. He felt that summed her up pretty readily; a glass of whiskey among glasses of sugary white wine.

Good thing he liked whiskey.

He mastered himself enough to walk over and silently cursed the short curls at the top of his head for falling against his brow. He didn’t like the look of a buzz cut, but he also didn’t love that the curls on the top of his head had a mind of their own most of the time. Her eyes fell to his as he approached, and she him offered a small smile.

“Captain Mortel. To what do I owe the pleasure outside of work hours?” she teased. Whiskey agreed with her, he thought. Her friends fell silent at their exchange, watching with rapt attention.

“Cassian, ma’am,” he corrected with a small smile. The formality of her address irritated him.

He looked around the table, offering a broad, genuine smile. “I apologize for interrupting, ladies. I have some critical information to share with Miss Archeron. That is, if you all are willing to spare her.” His eyes flitted to hers. She may have been immune to his charms, but it didn’t seem like that applied to her friends as they adamantly insisted they didn’t mind. They all but hauled her to her feet, Amren offering a subtle push at her lower back.

“Lead the way, Cassian.” The way she said his first name was so intentional that he wanted to roll his eyes, but he was distracted by his thoughts of other ways he’d like to hear her saying his name.

“I think it’s best discussed on the dance floor, Miss Archeron.” He had one arm bent behind him, resting on the small of his back, the other extended to her, palm up.

She took his hand heavily, showing him she knew exactly what he was up to. She followed nonetheless, and once they reached their destination, he gently placed her hand on his shoulder. He placed his large hand on her waist, and lifted the other in his as he lead them across the floor.

“Nesta,” she said, still looking over his shoulder.

“Pardon?”

”Call me Nesta.” Her steel blue eyes met is, and he swore he saw them soften a fraction. “So, what is so important that it couldn’t wait for Monday?”

“Ah. That. Well, truth be told, I didn’t have anything all that critical to tell you,” he paused, laughing softly when she looked at him with an expression that said, no shit.

”I hope you’ll forgive me. It just didn’t seem suitable to wait for Monday to tell you how devastating you look tonight. It’s hardly appropriate workplace conversation.”

“You’re insufferable, you know that?” There was no irritation in her voice, nor did she move away from him.

“So I’ve been told.”

He pulled her a fraction closer, and she let him.

——————————————————————————

They’d swayed together for song after song that night, taking short breaks at a small take next to the dance floor. They were talking about anything and everything, their laughter carrying through the small venue when there was a break between songs. At some point, they had started sharing one glass of whiskey rather than opting for two.

Cassian knew he was totally and royally fucked.

He walked her out later that night when her group of friends started to tire out. He stopped just outside the doors, and her friends walked slowly ahead, allowing them some privacy. He curled his index finger under her chin, and eased her face upward to look at him. His other arm was secure behind his back; the only place he trusted it to be.

”I had a lot of fun. Be careful going home, yeah?” He kept his voice soft, not wanting to risk her becoming shy at the thought of her friends overhearing them.

She bit her bottom lip as she looked at him, giving him a small nod.

“I had fun, too,” she breathed. The corners of her lips drew up slightly, retrained by the secure pressure her teeth had on her lower lip yet again. She might have been the death of him.

Before he could think better of it, he raised his thumb to stroke her cheek and had to clench his other fist when she leaned into his hand to keep from pulling her to him. He swallowed thickly, hoping his voice would come out more stable than he felt.

“Goodnight, Nesta.”

”Goodnight, Cassian.” She turned her face, placing a soft kiss to the tender part of his palm at the base of his thumb before she turned to leave.

She left him standing there, dumbfounded and grinning like a fool. He looked down at his palm, the soft lip print left by her red lips, and closed his fist before he walked inside to find Azriel.

——————————————————————————

In the days that followed, nothing changed. He remained insanely busy each day and saw Nesta minimally. He wished there were more reasons for him to travel to her office and visa versa, but he had likely exhausted his fill of luck on that Friday night.

His world turned on its head on Wednesday as the alarm sounded. There were no scheduled drills that he was aware of, and his heart leapt into his throat. He saw Azriel running into the hangar from another direction, his eyes locking on Cassian’s. They approached each other, their postures already morphing into the leaders they were called to be. It was Azriel who spoke first.

“Incoming air attack. Just got word from the Commander.”

”Shit. Okay. Let’s fucking do this, huh?” He was trying to keep his tone light enough without downplaying the magnitude of their situation.

“Not like we have much of a choice. Stay safe, brother.” He gripped Cassian in a hug, patting him roughly on the back. Cassian returned it quickly and broke away.

“Stop saying your goodbyes, Spion,” he said as he broke into a backward jog toward his flight team. He raised his voice to finish, “They chose the wrong fucking base!”

——————————————————————————

Cassian awoke to a blinding pain in his head and a high-pitched beeping sound coming from his left. He kept his eyes firmly shut, trying for the life of him to figure out where he was and why he was in so much pain. He creased his brow as he concentrated, only able to conjure snapshots of the events that led him here.

Take off.

Giving orders to his flight team.

Circling back for an aircraft in pursuit of one of his airmen.

Shots fired, bullets flying. Explosions as they met their mark.

Another loud explosion, an aggressive shift of his plane.

Losing an engine.

Bailing out.

Everything was blank after that, until right now, where that obnoxious fucking beeping was going to make him violent. If he was dead, he was surely in hell.

He opened his eyes, squinting against the faint light overhead. He turned his head slowly, fighting a groan at the pain that shot through his temples. His mouth was dry as shit, and he needed to find some water stat.

His eyes snagged on something foreign next to his hand. He lowered his chin to look at it properly, and as his eyes adjusted, he realized he wasn’t alone. It wasn’t a something, it was a someone.

That same damn head of golden brown hair that had been haunting him for months was on the edge of the mattress, resting on her bent arm. She was sitting in a chair, bent over to rest her head on his bed, and her other arm was extended, resting just above his knee. Her face was softer while she slept, he thought. He looked at her for a few seconds, not wanting to disturb her slumber, and realized he couldn’t give a shit less about that beeping sound all of a sudden. Nesta fucking Archeron was here.

Okay, so definitely not in hell, then.

He looked down, realizing his chest was bare save for the rolls of gauze and bandages wrapped around him. He had no clue what that was about, but he figured someone would tell him eventually. He noticed bruises and scrapes on almost every exposed part of his body and a cast on his right ankle. As far as he could tell, he still had all of his limbs and could wiggle his toes. He decided he was grateful, even if everything hurt like fuck.

His movements must have roused her, because Nesta’s eyes suddenly opened. She sat up and rubbed them before turning them to Cassian in assessment. She started at his legs, running her gaze over him, and over to his monitor. Her eyes snapped to his own once she realized he was awake.

”You’re awake!” The relief in her voice broke his heart. She gripped his hand with both of hers, careful not to disturb him too much.

”Yeah,” he croaked, his voice ragged from disuse. She pulled one of her hands away, grabbed the small styrofoam cup on the side table, and handed it to him. He grabbed it with his opposite hand, cringing a little at the pain in his chest as he reached across his body. He brought the cup to his lips, leaving his eyes on hers as he sipped. She took it from him as he lowered his head back down to his pillow.

“Your parachute deployed, but it got tangled while you were still in the air. Luckily it eventually opened, but you were already fairly close to the ground. Your ankle is broken and you have several broken ribs. They aren’t sure what you hit, but you sustained impact to your head at some point. Be careful if you touch your face... there are some stitches on your forehead and through your eyebrow.” He honestly would have been okay with a few more injuries on the list if it meant she would keep talking to him like this; with a gentleness and care he had never seen. He rolled his head toward her to look at her properly, and noticed tears running down her cheeks.

“Don’t cry, sweetheart. It’ll take a lot more than that to keep me from sticking around and annoying the hell out of you,” he joked.

“That’s not funny, Cassian!” She clutched his hand in warning. “I listened to the radio all day. I found out through communications that your plane went down.” Her tears were rolling in earnest now.

He was such an ass. Why the hell did he insist on putting his foot in his mouth?

”I’m sorry. Really, Nesta, I’m sorry. Please don’t cry. I’m okay.” He squeezed her hand, wishing he could pull her into his chest to comfort her.

Her tears continued despite his request. “I didn’t know what to do, what to think. I couldn’t get clear answers from anyone about your status for hours. It was a nightmare, and for a second, I thought.... I don’t know. Worst case scenario, is what I thought. I almost lost you.”

He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to make sense of what she was telling him. He started rubbing soothing circles on the back of her palm before he spoke.

“I’m not going anywhe—“ He was interrupted by a sudden coughing fit, all thanks to his dry fucking throat. Beautiful timing. Excellent. Perfect.

He groaned between coughs as he felt the sudden pain wrack through his ribs. It was as if someone was taking each one and snapping them over their knee like small tree branches. He couldn’t get his throat to cooperate, sending his chest into contraction after contraction. He started clutching for his chest, grimacing, and trying to do anything possible to calm his reflexes down.

Nesta jumped from her chair, perching on the edge of his bed. She gripped his face gently with her hands, willing him to look at her. Once he did, she encouraged him to relax, and grabbed his water cup to hold it to his lips. He managed to hold back his cough long enough to take a couple of sips, and he was finally able to relax into the bed again, breathing through clenched teeth.

She brushed his curly hair to the side in a soothing gesture, trying to tame the wild strands somewhat in the process. She spoke to him in a soothing voice, hoping to keep him as calm as he could manage.

“You have beautiful hair. I know women who would kill for it,” she mused.

He huffed a laugh. “Has a mind of its own.”

”Seems true to form, considering the head it grows from.” She laughed when he glared at her. “I’m serious. You should grow it out one day. Just to see its potential.”

”Mmm... I’ll think about it. I think I could try it out for you,” he replied with a smile.

They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes before it occurred to him that the clock read 3:00, and there was no light coming through the window. It was 3AM, and here she was.

”I’m surprised they haven’t kicked you out yet with how late it is.... Not that I’m complaining. I want you to stay.” He hoped he hadn’t offended her, but the look on her face showed only amusement. “How’d you manage that?”

She bit her lip in a sheepish gesture, and he had to fight the urge to reach up and release it with his thumb.“When I found out they had located you and were in transport, I ran here immediately. I didn’t have much of a plan. I’m sure I looked like a lunatic to the young nurse’s aid at the station. I asked for you, but she told me that only family could see you,” she trailed off, looking down at the bedsheets. “I was all over the place, and I just blurted it out... that I was your wife.”

His eyes had to be the size of saucers. They were fairly familiar with each other through their work, and they’d had that one perfect night at the bar. But he’d never kissed her, nor had he brought her out on an actual date. She was the one who had turned him down, for Cauldron’s sake.

He couldn’t hold back his chuckle at her words or the blush that fanned across her cheeks.

“How long was I out? We seem to have come a long way,” he teased, hoping to ease her nerves.

”Oh, shut up. To be fair, I have to think on my feet a lot with what I do, and it kind of took me over. I was apparently quite convincing.”

”Didn’t even court me properly,” he mumbled in mock offense, grinning as he shook his head. He promptly stopped when he remembered the headache.

“Alright. You’re hilarious,” she stated dryly. Her voice quieted a bit more as she said, “I know I overstepped. I just wanted you to be okay, and I couldn’t stand not knowing. I’m really sorry.”

”It’s okay, really. You were the perfect thing to wake up to in here. Thank you,” he replied. “I’m honestly just surprised no one fact-checked you.”

”Once I was in here, they kind of just ignored me except for updates. I’ve gotten lucky that no one that would know better has been in here. Well, except Captain Spion, but he’s keeping my secret. He’ll be happy to know you’re okay. He’s been pacing around in here anytime he’s had a free moment and scaring the shit out of all the hospital staff.” She laughed, and he didn’t think he could ever hear enough of it.

“Sounds like Az. I’ll check in tomorrow,” he said. “But hey, before I forget, since we’re married anyway... would you be interested in going out sometime?” He hoped he hadn’t misread this shift between them, but he couldn’t let her leave here without asking.

She sat there for several agonizing seconds before leaning forward and pressing her lips softly to his. When she pulled back, her blue eyes were shining as she said, “Absolutely. I love that idea.”

——————————————————————————

A/N: I enjoyed writing a little fluff after that angsty multi-chapter. 😂 Let me know what y’all think! 

If you’d like to be added to my tag list, shoot me an ask, comment, or reblog! I’ll be happy to add you! My tags have been acting up, but I’ve been emailing Tumblr about it. Hopefully that’s not a long-term issue. A girl can dream, right?

Tags (Masterlist):

@polireader// @justgiu12 // @hizqueen4life // @sis-it-dont-add-up // @b00kworm // @bookstantrash​

[maevelin]

I know you didn't enjoy Nesta's book that much. What were the parts you didn't like and were there things you did enjoy?

I found the plot very basic and simplistic. The author has the tendency to overhype certain things and then drop the hints and the foreshadowing or write something totally anticlimactic about it.

An example for the anticlimactic part is how the former books had presented the Blood Rite as such a horrific event. One that in order to survive it Illyrians trained their whole life and then you take a few completely untrained individuals, train them basically for a few months a few hours in the mornings (I mean it is as if they went to the gym) and then they are ready to own the whole thing. It was ridiculous.

You introduce the concept of Valkyries and instead of writing an actual story about it you give a child’s play with some girls basically saying...hey they sound cool, we have no idea past the surface what and who they were or if we are basically appropriating their culture but let’s make a new club about it. I mean...why not just introduce Valkyries in a more grounded way, even the rebirth of their nation and lore, in a more realistic way? Instead you get a lost female tradition and you have males teaching girls about it. Take Thor Ragnarok for example (one movie that has not won me over as much as others). So why not introduce a new character that is a Valkyrie, even the last of her kind, a jaded character that has quit life just as Nesta and then create a story to reignite the myth of the Valkyries into something new that Nesta would accept and embrace.

Although for the life of me I don’t understand why PTSD and healing has to be connected with that sort of training in the first place. Why get a character like Nesta and  turn her into a Xena type of character all of the sudden...because that’s the only way to show inner strength or any kind of strength? I just don’t get it. 

However I did appreciate Nesta’s journey at certain parts although some felt forced in order to accept the Inner Circle bullshit and when people had predicted that in the end Nesta would how to bow and kneel to the ‘awesomeness’ of the Inner Circle so to be welcomed into the Night Court and be redeemed I am pretty sure no one expected this to literally happen. It gave me such a visceral reaction.

I couldn’t have disliked the IC more in this book even if I tried (and boy there were dubious, problematic and outright offensive and abusive things in their behavior) but what I didn’t like was that Nesta didn’t have an interesting story plot wise. Her journey of healing was okay and it has some interesting and beautiful moments but the story surrounding it was sloppy.

I hated the concept/threat of throwing Nesta in the Court of Nightmares but just from a creative perspective it would have made the book a thousand times more interesting. The dynamic felt off in general and in the end it felt as if the main concept was not resolved but the realization came that there was no main concept. 

Say what you will for the first three ACOTAR books but they had a goal, a purpose, a target. Feysand and Feyre’s personal journey were the focus but the their books served far more than that thus making those parts work in a solid (at least as far as these books are concerned) structure. Here we got some treasure hunt but everything was left open ended and it was not even focused entirely on Nesta and Cassian. I felt robbed somehow especially given the dynamic Nesta’s powers had and based on that alone a personal story could have been built upon that potential that got wasted for the most part. We could have gotten an epic storyline and we...did not.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT? Nesta DESERVED  a GREAT VILLAIN/ANTAGONIST for her own story and she did not get that (come on Briallyn was such weak sauce and unremarkable)  and I am offended on Nesta’s behalf to be honest LOL

Nesta’s voice and the way she was written was reminiscent of Feyre’s at parts but I assume this is because of the writing style of the author but it still felt jarring if not OOC at parts.

And I felt that some behaviors we had seen in previous books (how Cassian avoided her in Acowar and so on) were overlooked and the good things Nesta did along with the bad (how she went after Feyre after Tamlin took her and how she was ready to sacrifice herself to give Feyre a chance and how she was so focused on saving children and so on) were completely ignored all so to ‘excuse’ how she was treated and how she deserved to be treated that way by all others and how she had to redeem herself. And yeah she had to face her wrongdoings because she had been abusive too but I felt there were double standards concerning her which I did not appreciate in the way the book was written.

In the end I found the sacrifice of her powers a beautiful thing for her personal growth but at the same time I also got the intention behind the writing that has nothing to do with Nesta’s journey and that is disappointing.

There was also the usual writing style/editing that has its issues and I got really tired with the phrase “like calls to like”. Like...okay we got it the first hundred times enough already.

All that been said there were things I enjoyed in the book too.

1. The House... which let’s face it it’s Tardis to Nesta’s Doctor.

2. Nesta’s connection with music and dancing was beautiful.

3. Her love of books? Brilliant.

4. The scene with the Kelpie? QUALITY STUFF! 

5. As was the description of Nesta entering the Cauldron.

6. The scene with her nightmare engulfed in silver flames was amazing too.

7. Hello Nes and Lady Death!

8. Cassian’s protectiveness over Nesta was also nice especially when he was able to man up (no I won’t go for male up LOL) and stand up against certain bullshit behavior targeted at Nesta.

9. Emerie and Gwyn were cute and their relationship with Nesta beautiful although it did also feel rushed at parts. I would have much preferred that build up to have happened with her sisters but given the fuckery of the IC in general I will take this and savor it!

10. Azriel was a relief and I would have liked more interaction between him and Nesta. Brilliant indeed.

11. I HATED Amren but I loved the parallel of what she had once told Nesta:  “When you erupt, girl, make sure it is felt across worlds” and we got this scene when Nesta. (P.s You unmade her...She had it coming LMAO)

12. The cookie offer in the end made me laugh.

13. Overall Nessian was cute and thankfully Cassian wasn’t the same creep he was in Acofas. Although his low esteem and blind servitude left much to be desired at times.

14. The smut at times was making me cringe but the sexual drive and dynamic of the characters felt appropriate given their personalities.

15. I also liked Feyre’s inner thoughts when Eris asked Nesta’s hand in marriage and the way she was protective of Nesta and wanted to end him LOL.

16. Speaking of which...everyone wanting Nesta as their bride was very funny and after a while it kept happening and I couldn’t stop laughing.

17. Nesta’s first “I love you” was given to Feyre and thank you!

I think that’s about it.

[perseusannabeth]

My Hunger Knows No Bounds - Modern Elriel Fic

Okay so this fic was inspired by this post because I felt like it was a very Elriel thing. I’m clearly having a pregnancy fic thing atm since I’m also writing my Nessian pregnancy fic. 

I am South Asian, and had biriyani and kebabs today and that’s on my mind so that’s the food Azriel cooked because I had no idea what else I could make him cook. Biriyani takes a lot of work my dudes, just fyi. 

Read on AO3

Masterlist

Word count:  1457

Azriel was cooking. Not only was he cooking, but he was cooking Illyrian food. It was a big deal, which is why he had told nobody. He knew if he told his family, they would make it into a big thing, especially his brothers. Azriel had a complicated relationship with his culture and heritage and making Illyrian food felt so utterly private right now. He didn’t want to share it with his brothers. Not yet anyway. Maybe later on, when he was done. 

He very rarely cooked, and when he did it was for comfort and ease. Illyrian food was meant to be cooked for big families. If he was more like Cassian, he would cook for his family, his brothers. But he couldn’t bring himself to do that. Somehow, today he had the urge to cook Illyrian food. He knew what had caused it. He had been on the phone with his mother, and she had been talking about how his younger sister wanted to help in the kitchen. His mother had sent him videos of his sister helping in the kitchen, and after he had hung up he couldn’t stop watching the video. For some reason, watching his 7-year-old sister stood on a chair, mixing the pot bubbling away on the stove with such joy had made his heart feel light and free.

His mother had given him a cookbook when he had turned 18. It was something that was a tradition in his mother’s family, and a way to pass down the family recipes. He had never looked at it apart from when he had first gotten it. It was just a small notebook, but it felt like the heaviest thing Azriel had ever held. The weight of it was what had kept it hidden away at the bottom of his sock drawer for 6 years.  But his sister had somehow given him the strength to take it out and try a recipe. 

So 2 hours later, he’s in the kitchen, waiting for the timer to go off as he cleans up the mess he’s made. The windows are open, but the smell permeates the entire apartment, and probably the entire floor, but he can’t bring himself to care. He feels at peace with his culture for once in his life. 

A timid knock startled him from his thoughts. Azriel frowned slightly. He knew his brothers were both busy with their girlfriends, Mor was on a date, and Amren would never come over unannounced, especially not just to hang out with him. He walked over and looked through the peephole on his door, and saw his neighbour. His very pregnant neighbour, who looked nervous. 

“Hi there,” Azriel said cautiously as he opened the door. 

“Hi. It’s Azriel, right?” The pregnant neighbour asked, smiling prettily at him. 

Azriel nodded, before awkwardly asking, “Sorry, I don’t remember your name?”

The pregnant neighbour’s smile grew at that. “Elain. I’m Feyre and Nesta’s sister.” 

Azriel remembered them mentioning that their sister was moving into his building, but she had never turned up to their family gatherings, either because she was at work or because she was tired since she was 6 months pregnant, and the one time she did go, Azriel had been visiting his mother. Their paths had crossed a few times in the building, but they had just given a polite nod and smile to each other. He hadn’t even realised that she was Nesta and Feyre’s sister, although now she’d pointed it out, it was very clear. The sisters looked similar, although Elain had beautiful warm brown eyes which reminded him of melted chocolate. Elain looked as sweet as melted chocolate too. 

Azriel shook his head slightly at the last thought, as though that would be enough to get rid of the random thought he had just had, for a woman he had just met. 

“Right, sorry, I didn’t recognise you.” 

“That’s fine, we’ve never been formally introduced I guess.”

“Well, erm, is there something I can help you with?” Azriel rubbed the back of his neck, hoping that he hadn’t sounded rude while asking that. 

Elain blushed, which probably meant he had been rude. Nesta would probably kill him for that when she heard. “Actually, I was just, well, erm, I can smell your cooking and it smells so good. I know this is so weird since we don’t know each other, but, well, erm, would you mind if I had some?” 

Elain looked down at the tupperware box which she held in her hand, which Azriel hadn’t noticed before. Azriel just stared at her, not sure if he had heard her correctly. Elain, taking his silence as a no, continued with her rambling. “I’m so sorry, I know that was probably rude. It’s fine, I just really liked the smell but I should’ve known not to ask,” her blush turned darker, as she slowly started to walk away. Only her walk wasn’t really a walk, it was more of a cute little waddle. 

Azriel finally shook himself out of his daze. He softly put his hand on her shoulder to stop her from walking off. “No, it’s fine. I’ve made lots so you can definitely have some.” Azriel removed his hand as soon as she stopped walking away, not wanting to creep her out. “Would you like to come in?”

Elain put her finger and thumb on her chin and looked slightly contemplative. “Well, we have just met which is a bit weird. But since your brothers are dating my sisters, I’m going to assume you’re not an axe murderer.” 

Azriel felt his lips curl slightly at that. “I could still be an axe murderer. I’m on a murder break though, so you’re safe.”

Elain let out a tinkering laugh, which went straight to Azriel’s heart. He couldn’t help but smile at that. 

Elain walked in and managed to sit down at the breakfast bar in the kitchen. He hadn’t realised how difficult it was for pregnant women to sit down until he saw Elain struggle to sit for a whole 5 minutes. He had hovered around her just in case she fell because suddenly everything seemed dangerous around him. He had never been around a pregnant woman before, so he didn’t know how to act.

Azriel’s timer went off, and he took the lid off of the pot which had been on the heat for a while now. He took 2 plates out, and put some rice in for Elain, and then for himself. He sat down next to Elain and explained to her what the food he had made was. Elain had never had an Illyrian biriyani before, and the rice, layered with a chicken curry that also had peas and potatoes. Azriel had also taken some seekh kebabs out of the freezer. He hadn’t made them himself, he admit to Elain that they were from Sevenda’s. Elain was very vocal about how brilliant the food was, and thanked him profusely for feeding her. She admitted that she had been trying to get past her cravings since he had started cooking, but the smells had gotten too much for her and she just had to ask for food. 

Azriel was charmed by Elain. Somehow he felt even happier than he had before she had knocked on his door. She was the warmest person he had ever met. Her smile managed to warm even Azriel’s cold heart. He could see why Nesta would go to such lengths to protect her. There was something about this woman which made him feel more alive than he had felt in a very long time. It both soothed him and excited him at the same time. 

Elain started to yawn, which made Azriel realise just how late it was. Elain thanked him once again for the food and company and made to leave. Azriel quickly took the tupperware box from her before she could leave, and packed it full with as much biryani as he possibly could. He had made a lot and had been planning on giving some to his brothers, which he would now do tomorrow. 

Elain had been so thrilled when he handed her the box stuffed full of biriyani that she had squealed and kissed him on the cheek. As she waddled away, clearly happy with her bountiful hunting trip for herself and her young, Azriel couldn’t even fight the smile on his face. Even after he had cleaned up and was lying in bed, the smile had not faded. Azriel found for the first time, he was actually willing to delve into his family cookbook more, hoping that Elain would enjoy it as much as she had enjoyed the biriyani today.

Please let me know if you would like to be added/removed from my tags list since I know a lot of you wanted to be tagged in my nessian fics.

@hizqueen4life @kelly-fasel @sannelovesreading @acourtofmarauders @maastrash @sjm-things @bookstantrash @cursebreaker29 @humanexile @iammissstark @stardelia @superspiritfestival @courtofjurdan  

[flowerflamestars]

Would you write a HC of Nessian being that childhood enemies to lovers in high school? I can only trust you with it

Trust accepted and golden. 

-Okay, okay, so on the very first day of first grade, Cassian met the prettiest girl in the world. Little Nesta was absolutely one of those tiny polite children who has a vast hidden well of rage and imagination only displayed when playing witches with Elain in their mother’s garden. She’s quiet at school, utterly shy.

Cassian, meanwhile, is a gremlin. He’s energetic! and sweet! Dimples and curls, an enormous smile. He runs right up to the new girl on that rainy late summer day to introduce himself.

And trips. The Prettiest Girl in the World- as he tells Az, later, while they hide in Rhysand’s treefort- gets mud all over her perfect first day of school dress. 

- Baby Nesta is not okay, okay? She has no idea what to do with this friendly boy. She wants him to stop talking to her. She’s sure her mom is going to be disappointed when she comes home with her white dress ruined, and it’s her first day at a new school without Elain.

Cassian keeps apologizing, but it is Not Okay. 

-Nesta decides she hates him.

- Three years later, Nesta destroys Cassian in the spelling bee. Cassian begins to tip from the Prettiest Smartest Girl in the World is incredible to, the Prettiest Smartest Girl in the World keeps beating me at everything and I want to win JUST ONCE

Once, because he’s pissed. Once because then she’d be looking. Cassian just wants Nesta to look at him, and by sixth grade this feeling goes from earnest to furiously incandescent. 

HEAVY ON THE FURY

- Jump ahead, to the very end of middle school, the Archeron’s mom dies. 

Cassian is a happily adopted foster kid, former orphan who just barely remembers his parents. He finds out, and carries around this horrible heavy feeling in his chest all day like he can’t swallow. 

He wants- he doesn’t know- he wants to say something. But Nesta isn’t at school, and they aren’t actually friends, but he just wants to say: someday. He wants to tell her what his foster moms told him: that it’s okay to cry. (He cannot imagine perfect, smart, Nesta Archeron crying). Whatever you feel is okay.

Entirely by accident Cassian runs into her at the local library. Outside, crying on the sidewalk, arriving just in time to watch her hurl her water bottle at the cement.

Cassian, being Cassian, brings it back to her. 

It turns out pretty girl tears are terrifying.

So he very quietly hooks it back onto the pretty lavender backpack Nesta has carried around for the last three years- his is purple too, not at all to be weird, just because- and sits down on the sidewalk too, a couple feet away.

And Nesta is Not Okay. Her mom is dead, and she doesn’t know what she feels because it’s huge and terrifying. Everything hurts and she’s so, so angry and that stupid water bottle lid doesn’t really fit anyway, because it’s actually Feyre’s lid on Nesta’s bottle, because their Aunt doesn’t know anything and doesn’t know them, and Nesta only has that stupid baby backpack because their Dad spends all his time at work so he doesn’t know that before Mom got sick Nesta and Elain got new backpacks every year, whichever they wanted, and they always matched, but Elain’s ripped last summer and their dad had his assistant get a new one but it’s pink and Elain hates pink and it clashes with Nesta’s-

Cassian watches the Pretty Perfect Girl curl in on herself and scream. 

This, in the end, is when Perfect Girl becomes Nesta.

Cassian is is panicking, okay? PANICKING. His ability to comfort other people is 85% knowing when Azriel is overwhelmed and 15% hugging his dog during thunderstorms. He doesn’t know what he can possibly do for Nesta- so he just grabs her hand. 

Holds on, like Az did without laughing at him when Cassian cried that his adoption had gone through.

And Nesta hangs on, so hard it really actually hurts. He doesn’t ask her what’s wrong, or why, and Nesta is so grateful that hurts too. He’s always so loud and laughing, and Nesta has always hated it a little, thinking he was laughing at her.

(he was not)

The complete simplicity of that sweaty grip is just enough that Nesta can think. And poor baby Nesta thinks. 

She has to go inside and return all the sisters books so they don’t have a fine. She needs to figure out how to cut Feyre’s bangs because she’s running around like a sheepdog because Dad didn’t remember to schedule her a haircut. Elain will help. And Nesta will help Elain water the houseplants because Mom loved them and Dad told the maids they’re fake but they’re not, only the ones in the living room are. 

And Nesta- Nesta has a plan.

-They go in the library. If the volunteer behind the desk is making faces at Nesta’s tearstained face or grubby, iron grip on the boy beside her, Nesta isn’t going to acknowledge it, because Mom always said rude people didn’t deserve attention.

Nesta picks out her books, Cassian silently follows. And then he walks her home. They live in the same neighborhood, so it’s fine- but whats not fine is Nesta still hasn’t said anything, and Cassian just wants to say something-

But what happens it this- Nesta carries half the books in a grip so hard it looks painful. Cassian knows its probably painful, because she’s really hurting his hand now. 

Cassian will look later at the imprint her tiny fingertips had made and feel like his whole body is fluttering- but now, now, she’ll steal his half of the books like it’s nothing and stomp up the porch steps of her house, right past a wilting delivery of lilies slowly dying before her front door. 

She won’t say thank you. Cassian won’t say goodbye.

But Cassian will think it’s okay, it’s okay- because Nesta wasn’t alone like he’d been alone.

The blue door slams shut, and they don’t speak again until junior year of high school.

- Nesta Archeron is seventeen and ready to eat the world raw. She’s top of her class. She has goals, she has terrifyingly perfect hair, and she is not going to let anything stand in her way- especially not the fact that she ran for junior class president and tied, with Cassian.

-Cassian has become very, very Cassian in the intervening years. He’s popular but kind, a loud laugh that echoes down halls. Smart, but not a stratospheric over-achiever like Nesta. College is a year away, but everyone know’s he’s going to get an athletic scholarship. 

They run in very, very different circles.

-Listen, it’s not even on purpose- it’s just that something about Nesta’s horrified expression and color-coded organization and perfect fucking red lips makes Cassian his most insane golden retriever self. He can’t help himself. 

They have to work together. They fight constantly. 

But Cassian’s fighting, at seventeen, is like 80% teasing and 20% very real, very earnest flirting. 

And maybe- maybe Nesta knows that and it makes her even grouchier.  She has a plan, okay? She’s on track to graduation top of her class. She’s going to Standford, then Harvard. She’s going to be a surgeon. 

It’s not so far away she can’t still be there for her sisters. Elain wants to go to Berkley and obviously will because she’s brilliant- Feyre will only be alone for one year, but she’s already all set for that to be her study abroad year, so she won’t be trapped at home in their empty house. She’ll be in Spain, and then she’ll go to art school. 

All three Archeron sisters will be of age to pull from their enormous inheritance left from their mother- they will never need to ask anything of their absent, silent, bastard father ever again. It’s just a matter of waiting.

Nesta is on track, and she can’t get distracted.

But Cassian- Cassian really seems to think Nesta doesn’t remember him. As though she could forget, as much as she wants to, that absolute disaster of a boy who was the only person in the world who made Nesta feel like she wasn’t responsible for everything.

Of course, that little boy grew up to be beautiful. 

Of course, now he’s a goddamn menace who’s a clear foot taller than her with broad shoulders to match. Of course, that enormous kind smile sits even more tantalizing on an older face. Of course his dimples are so deep they flash when he grimaces at her student council timeline, broken down for the next two years.

- Azriel, Nesta’s AP chem lab partner, bound forever in respect by mutual silent competence and scorn for the assholes who sit behind them who keep lighting things on fire, says nothing about any of this until Nesta comes into class holding an enormous rainbow concoction like it’s going to explode.

Together- perennially left to their own devices by a teacher who really does not know what to do with them, and maybe fears they both know the coursework better than she does- they stare at the rainbow sprinkled whip cream mountain, slowly melting into the equally bright froth of the drink. 

Some of them are heart-shaped. 

Azriel breaks first, and asks, “Cassian?”

And Nesta, sweet baby ice princess Nesta, numb from being swooped upon by a giddy, grinning, blushing 6′4 quarterback who darted out of the culinary building to force this into her hand and run back away says: Does he think I’m a lesbian?

This is the moment Azriel’s soul actually leaves his body. 

The visceral cringe is so apparent Nesta keeps talking: I mean, the rainbows? why? 

It’s just close enough to a wail that Azriel decides to take pity on this whole new level of romantic idiocy. He proceeds to explain it’s a unicorn frappuccino? maybe? probably? not that he could advise actually consuming anything Cassian makes.

Nesta’s big What the Fuck face does not fade, so Az finally goes: he’s trying to get your attention. 

Nesta: He has my attention. I see him every day. 

Azriel, thinking about how much fun telling Lucien about this will be, imagining his very beautiful boyfriend howling with laughter: Right, and why would he want more?

Nesta: Because he’s a menace?

Az:

Nesta:

Az:

Nesta, glaring with heartfelt intensity at the melting hearts and stars, food coloring weeping: Because he wants my attention. That- that bastard.

Az, opening his mouth, only to be cut off by Nesta furiously unzipping her bag:

Nesta: that stupid fucking- are you kidding me? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? He- HE- he made me go to a soccer game last week and called it OUTREACH. 

Azriel, watching Nesta tap her phone at top speed: Are you...texting Cassian?

Nesta: that motherfucking, stupid, college admission essays- I’m going to-

Az: Nesta??

Nesta: Do you know how much of a disaster he is? Do you know how much of my time he has wasted? He wants my attention, he has my fucking attention. Why didn’t he say so?

(In the background, the boys behind them have, indeed, started another fire)

Three buildings away, Cassian, vibrating with a frequency that can be seen from space: Mooooor, you don’t understand. She’s so smart, she’s going to be trauma surgeon.

Morrigan, trying in vain to get a full rainbows worth of food coloring off her pearlescent manicure: Cas, you literally want to be a nurse. 

Cassian: Exactly

Morrigan gives up on her nails, distracted from Cassian’s lovelorn expression by his silenced phone flashing repeatedly: Who’s sparkle heart sparkle heart bomb peach firework sparkle heart? 

Cassian, flailing: 

Nesta, here expressed as sparkle heart sparkle heart bomb peach firework sparkle heart: Coffee. 3pm, Sunday. Yes?

Cassian, chewing on the inside of his cheek: Yes! Did the senior class shunt all their work down again?

Nesta: Not to work.

Cassian, life flashing before his eyes, thinking it was the sprinkles?!!

Nesta: A date.

Nesta: Is this supposed to taste like sour candy? 

- They go on the date. Cassian overcomes his transcendent nervousness by getting into a pretty squabble with Nesta over the book they’re currently reading in AP English. 

(The entire argument is a false premise, he loves Jane Austen. Nesta knows this.)

- Nesta takes him to this beautiful coffee shop that is like 70% just a lush tropic garden. 

(Elain sees them coming and has to literally duck behind the counter to laugh. Lucien, her shift partner and dearest friend, watches the whole song and dance of ordering, sitting under a flowering tree and staring at each like lunatics with utter glee, ready to rely every detail to Az)

The Thing is, they keep fighting. They keep fighting, but Cassian’s smile gets softer and softer, his laugh brighter and brighter. The arguing is turning into banter and Nesta is actually? having? So much fun?

- The thing is, Nesta needed a plan to survive. 

But maybe- maybe Cassian was there all along. Maybe, if she can’t be distracted, the obvious answer is to stop letting him make her crazy and- and let him in. 

Maybe, she can hold onto responsibility for everything and still let someone else have a little responsibility for her.

Maybe, Cassian is exactly what she needed. 

[unhealthyfanobsession]

Loving the Nessian Lawyer AU fic!! That Nesta is an Armani girl? Yesssss --just *chef's kiss* 💋 Here's a prompt for you if you please: canon-verse jealous!nessian. Cassian arrives late to an evening event at the Summer Court high lord meeting. Nesta's wearing a black gown. Only as she walks he notices the mid-thigh high slit 👀👀

Oh you KNOW I love a jealous Cassian. I took some liberties with the dress because by Prythian standards I just wasn’t sure a thigh slit would cut it ;)I also gave Nesta some new power because she deserves it!!

Keep the requests coming guys I’m having so much fun!!

The death of Beron Vanserra, as it turned out, was the birth of peace among the courts of Prythian.

Tamlin was still a jackass, but not powerful enough to actually ever take a stand or reject peace.

So the courts banded together. An impenetrable alliance of forces that the continent nations wouldn’t dare March on. And to uphold that agreement, this is what they did now. Once a year they had a summit. The hosting Court rotated and this was the first year it was being held in Summer. Rhys joked that he had to make a special appeal for Cassian to be allowed back in Tarquin’s court after the infamous building incident.

Whatever.

It wasn’t even that big of a building. Tarquin could be so dramatic.

Anyway, the point was that Beron’s death had been a very good thing for everyone. But that still didn’t mean Cassian liked having to sit in a room with Tamlin and Eris Vanserra. Alone.

Ok not alone. But… basically alone. Mor had abandoned him the second they walked in and she was giggling with Vivianne on the other end of the room. Rhys and Feyre were trying to nail down an agreement with Thesan to import some of his Faebane stopping powder.

Azriel wasn’t there at all because he and Gwyn were on some insane spy mission in Vallahan that had to coincide with this summit because that was when all the other territories relaxed. Got lazy and assumed there was no threat from Prythian.

But, you might be asking yourself, Cassian still shouldn’t be alone here, right? He had a mate. A beautiful, powerful, mother communing, force of nature of a mate.

Who was, for all of those stunning qualities that made him love her, a very in demand woman.

Right now she was working with Helion. She’d been gone more than a week. And a week the month before that. And the month before that. And they should be done now. Should be ready to present to the group this new spell that they were creating.

A protection spell. Nesta and Helion were creating a spell. Like gods of magic. Not ingrained, learned, trained, magic. They were creating magic. Spells.

She was a witch. Cassian smirked at the thought. A beautiful, brilliant, witch goddess.

And she was his.

So why did Eris scuff the legs of his chair and sit up three inches straighter when she walked into the room.

And why did Helion have his hand on the small of her back as he lead her into the room.

Gods, she was beautiful. A streak of devastating black silk in the sea of the white-clad Day courtiers.

Her hair, brighter than when she left, more gold from the hours he knew she spent in Helion’s sun-drenched library, was braided up in its usual style.

The dress had a collar that molded around her neck and then dipped into a sweat heart neckline just at the base of her throat. Long sleeved and floor length.

Devastating.

And then she took a step forward.

The left side of the dress split open to reveal a shock of creamy white skin that looked like porcelain against the dark fabric. Cassian took a hard breath in when she moved again. The slit went up to her hip. Not her thigh. Her fucking hip.

Nope.

“Control yourself,” Cassian growled in reaction to the scent that was leaching off of Eris as the High Lord of Autumn stared at his mate.

Cassian flew out of his chair. Making it across the room in three long strides and carefully pulling his mate from out of Helion’s grasp.

“Hello, Nes.” Cassian murmured in her ear, pressed a kiss to her temple, and subtly, wrapped his wing around the left side of her body to cover up the slit.

Not subtle enough, however, as Nesta simply smirked in response and ran her finger down the membrane until his wing, and the rest of his body, trembled. “I’ve missed you.”

“Gods I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too, General.” Helion smirked, sidling up right beside Nesta.

“I assume I have you to thank for this dress,” Cassian narrowed his eyes.

“Your mate is a brilliant, incredible, extraordinary female.” Helion winked, “But I still like having pretty things to look at while we work.”

“Call me a pretty thing one more time and I’ll blast you with the offensive spell I’m going to work on next.”

Helion smiled, “Oh how I love that fire. Don’t get all growly with me, General. I’d never think to steal her away into my bed. Without you, that is.”

“In your dreams.” Cassian’s body was vibrating, but he knew Helion was just being Helion. And he didn’t deserve the jealous rage storming through Cassian to be unleashed on him.

Cassian took Nesta’s hand and brought her to their seats.

“Wait,” Cassian raised an eyebrow. “You need a High Lord to develop spells. Your connection to the Mother and their connection to the Court comes together to make the spells. Balance, you said.”

“You remembered, A+ my love.”

“No. I mean… an offensive spell. Are you working with Rhys?”

“No,” Nesta smirked.

“But that kind of magic only comes from Night, Winter, and-“

“I’ll be sure to control myself, while she’s a guest of Autumn, Brute.” Eris had never looked so smug in his life. And that was a high bar.

“I do hope it’s Lucien.” Cassian said, deathly calm.

“What?”

“The brother who the magic chooses to be High Lord after I fucking murder you.” Cassian shrugged, “I hope it’s Lucien.”

Me at that last line:

SJM, Apparently, for no reason:

[bookstantrash]

The delay of acosf had me searching online for Nessian fics like a lunatic because my thirst for them has gone up a hundred times more. I’ve read some pretty incredible ones and came across a headcanon on Twitter that had me wanting to write again.

So here comes a little nessian with some smut that nobody asked for. I’m not very confident on my writing, but I’m going to post it nonetheless because this looked so sad and lonely on my notes that I had to do it.

I apologise in advance if it’s too horrible 🤡

—————————————•———————————

Cassian couldn’t breath. He couldn’t master enough strength to pull air into his lungs. All he could do was stare at the beautiful woman in front of him.

Closing the door softly, he slowly got closer to her until her back was pressed against the faded wood. He stopped with his lips milimetres away from hers, looking for any sign of rejection. He found none.

And then he kissed her. Tenderly, sweetly, the memory of a kiss shared in that dangerous battlefield, when death was certain and all seemed lost, coming to his mind.

- Nesta - Cassian breathed, touching his forehead against hers - Nesta.

He kissed her again and, carefully turning her around, began to pull down the zipper that held her gown, placing a kiss down the length of her spine as the zipper went down.

Nesta turned, letting her dress pool around her feet, and the amount of love she saw in the male’s eyes in front of her – love she never thought she’d be worthy of – was such that she almost couldn’t bear to look at him. But Cassian grabbed her chin and kissed her again, assuring her that she was worthy of his love. That she was everything he wanted.

Cassian picked her up and walked toward the bed, his lips never leaving hers for even a second. And when he laid her down, he once again stopped to gaze at her graceful figure, desire on his eyes.

- I’m going to take my time with you sweetheart - he growled, his hands travelling up and down her body.

- What are you waiting for then? - she replied a little breathless, running her feet up his calves.

He grinned and, not wanting to waste another single moment away from her, promptly took her mouth again, his tongue running along the seams of her lips. Nesta opened her mouth, allowing him access, brushing her tongue against his in a way that had him battling for self control.

Cassian’s hands traveled along her body, worshiping her as if she was a goddess – and she was. His Nesta. That cunning, brilliant and untamed woman that had him wrapped around her finger since he saw her on her Father’s house.

Her hands made their way into his hair, tugging the soft curls as he kissed her down her neck, sucking and biting the sensitive skin. Nesta’s moan had him dropping lower, finding her breasts and she almost screamed in pleasure when he took a peaked nipple in his mouth, biting it.

- Those have made me go mad for quite some time now - he said, switching to the other one, his hand replacing his mouth as he bit the underside of her breast – The things I’ve thought of doing with them....

Nesta’s only answer was a mix between a soft snarl and a whimper, her hands on his hair tightening. Oh, how Cassian loved the small noises she made as he showed her exactly how much he desired her, how much he was completely lost in the being that was Nesta Archeron.

Leaving a trail of kisses and bites down her body, Cassian indeed made Nesta scream when he licked her sex, her hips arching.

- So wet - he growled, pride and raw desire lacing his words – Is this all for me Ness?

- Don’t stop Cassian - she husky said, her chest raising quickly with every raged breath she took.

- I wouldn’t dare sweetheart.

Cassian had to throw an arm across her hips to pin Nesta down as he resumed his licking, her moans louder now. And when his thumb started circling her clit, he felt Nesta tugging his shirt so hard that she ripped the fabric, trowing away it to run her nails down his shoulders.

Her reactions only served to fuel him even more, until she screaming his name and coming apart in front of him. He didn’t stop, riding out her orgasm until her she caught her breath and pushed him up her body, smashing her lips against his.

Nesta could taste herself, but that didn’t bother her. She kissed him fiercely, her hands exploring his broad shoulders and, growing bolder, she run a tentative finger over the curve of his wing.

- Ness - Cassian whispered, dropping his head on her shoulder and shuddering as she kept exploring, kept teasing the sensitive membrane.

Her other hand went lower, over the hard panels of his stomach, over his hips, and he helped her take his pants off, throwing it to the floor with the rest of their clothes, finally freeing his hard member. Nesta stroked his throbbing length, running her hand over him in a lover’s caress.

- Is this how you do it? Is this how you do it while you imagine it’s my hand? - she asked, flicking her wrist around him, her other hand still travelling along his wing.

It was Cassian’s to turn to become speechless, shuddering as she kept her ministrations, his lips whispering her name on her skin like a prayer.

- Please Nesta - he begged, feverishly kissing her shoulder - Fuck I need you, please.

- Make love to me Cassian - Nesta said, and the vulnerability he heard on her voice had him trailing kisses along her jaw until he met her lips, throwing everything he felt for her on that kiss.

Parting her tights with his hands, he settled against her center and slowly pushed himself in.

- Fuck - he cursed as he slid inside her - Fuck you feel so good.

- Cassian Cassian - Nesta moaned, arching her back.

He paused when he got fully inside her, letting her get used to him, letting her grown used to the fullness. And then Cassian began to move. Slowly at first, wanting to treasure the moment, but Nesta was impatient. She raised her hips, needing the friction.

- Faster Cassian - she breathed, her nails digging into his shoulder - I need you.

He obliged, going almost all the way out and slamming back into her, thrusting his hips against hers. And with each thrust, with each moan and whimper from them both, they could feel the mate bond growing stronger until it burned between them. Until it burned as hot as the sun and the fire from the depths of the underworld.

- Nesta Nesta Nesta - Cassian said, kissing her all over her face - I love you. I love you most fiercely.

His words had Nesta going over that edge again, and when she ran her finger down that sensitive part of Cassian’s wings he bit down on her neck, spilling himself inside of her.

They both lay there for a while, trying to catch their breaths. Nesta ran her hands on Cassian’s hair, and he brought his face up from her neck, kissing her nose.

- You look very full of yourself - she teased, brushing his wet hair from his eyes.

- I sure am - he replied, rolling them over so he could hug her against him, his wings going around them - I have you as a mate after all.

Nesta laughed, and Cassian swore he never heard something as precious as the melody of her voice. They stayed intertwined with each other, the first of many nights and days they’d have.

And, for the first time, Nesta and Cassian were completely happy. Because they had each other.