#never had this much issues with a gifset in my LIFE.

[pseudophan]

daniel howell: we're all doomed (full comedy special) ad break

[userlando]

✧･ﾟ 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 (𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐡)

billy hargrove x female!reader [4.6k] summary ⤍ all your friends had more or less gained more sexual experience over the summer. asking billy hargrove to help you out might not be the best idea, but you’re running out of options. warnings ⤍ 18+ (minors dni) petname use, explicit language, explicit smut, kissing, semi-public sex, oral (f receiving), fingering, multiple orgasms, hair pulling. a/n ⤍ so i couldn’t resist writing more billy. again, this isn’t canon billy so keep that in mind. thank you for all your love on my last fic, please consider leaving feedback and lmk what you thought of this. also, here’s a gifset that sparked this idea :) i haven’t proof read this since it’s 4am now and i wrote this on my phone, sorry. ily <3

“Do you wanna have sex with me?” Isn’t what you ever expected to ask Billy Hargrove. Especially by the public pools that he was supposed to be guarding.

He’d been sitting high up in his lifeguard chair, smacking his chewing gum enticingly with his eyes alert on every kid in and around the pools and opening his mouth to bark at the occasional running kid. You’d been watching him from afar, sitting up in your chaise lounge with your book half forgotten in your lap as you half-listened to your friends close by.

It wasn’t that surprising that sex was the topic of conversation, as it had been for the most part these past few weeks of the summer. Two of your friend group consisting of five had lost their virginities, and the other’s had somehow managed to score boyfriends. It wasn’t unusual or even weird, seeing as you were all on the cheerleading squad and more popular than you’d like to think about.

It irked you a little bit though, because sex had never been a big issue in your life until this summer. You had focused all you had on your grades and your team seeing as you were the head cheerleader at school. Boys weren’t an issue, you’d had exactly one boyfriend (minus Josh from middle school) and you’d broken up with him after four months when you’d caught him cheating on you with another girl. He had been your first everything, but not your first orgasm.

The guys that did try to ask you out always got shot down, and you tried not to think too hard about why that was your first instinct. Maybe you were still feeling the after effects of being cheated on, or maybe dating in general didn’t excite you as the average high schooler. Your friends called you a prude, and somehow that was the reputation you’d gained in school. The pristine, virginal and sweet cheerleader whom could not be conquered.

They weren’t too far off.

The girls were still chattering as you zoned out, and you caught some words that definitely weren’t meant to be said out loud where kids could hear. Your eyes scanned the pool, eyes squinting in the harsh sunlight until they landed on the lifeguard chair. Or more specifically, Billy.

You didn’t know why your brain conjured the outrageous idea up so fast. Maybe it was because your friends were discussing their boyfriend’s lengthy dicks or maybe you were feeling fed up with being excluded from those conversations. But you found your legs standing and moving before you could think twice of it, throwing a mumbled be right back over your shoulder.

Billy and you had exchanged maybe a full on sentence in your entire lives. You’d see each other at school and you’d once caught him smoking a joint in the girls bathroom. It had flustered you so much so that you’d backed out with a whispered sorry, not even wondering twice about why he was even in the girls bathroom to begin with.

Maybe that’s why Billy had the reaction he did when you stopped right below him. His eyebrows jumped on his forehead as you looked at each other, and you couldn’t read his face more than that thanks to his sunglasses sitting on the bridge of his nose. But you imagined that he was quite surprised and a little lost.

“Hey, gorgeous.” He greeted you, voice like molten lava. It wasn’t hard to figure out why every girl and occasional boy were falling over their feet to get in his bed. He had quite the reputation.

You fought off the feeling of oh my god what in the world am I doing, raising your head to look him in the eye with more bravery than you felt.

“Can we talk?” You asked, sounding more nervous than you would’ve liked.

His interest was piqued though and you took a step back when he began climbing down the chair. You blinked slowly when he faced you, suddenly feeling tongue tied and ten times more jittery. He was a lot taller than you expected, smelling strongly of cologne and cigarette smoke as he pushed his hair back from his forehead. It was damp with perspiration, skin a little sun kissed from spending so many hours under the sun.

“So?” He trailed off, dragging out the vowel.

You let out a shuddered sigh, giving him a nervous smile that he returned with bewilderment. You didn’t blame him, the two of you had absolutely nothing to talk about. You ran in different circles and it was hard to believe you had anything in common.

“I know this is weird, it kinda is. I mean, we don’t know each other and —“ your rambling got cut off with a noise of thinly veiled annoyance.

Billy yanked his sunglasses off and you shut your mouth because holy shit. His eyes were strikingly blue up close, framed by long eyelashes that you couldn’t help but deeply admire. The sudden eye contact almost had your knees knocking together.

“Is there a reason you’re here?” He asked, not rudely. But it was clear he was losing patience. Or maybe he was losing interest.

So, you decided to bite the bullet and just come out with it, “Do you wanna have sex with me?”

The silence was deafening and the rest of the world fell off as your eyes darted between his. He didn’t give you anything, no twitch on his face nor did he laugh or scoff. You didn’t know what to expect, but the silence had you wishing the ground would open up and swallow you whole.

“Oh god,” you whispered, bringing your hands up to your face in mortification as the quiet dragged on for a beat too long and you’d gotten a moment to realise what you’d said. “I’m so sorry, I don’t— I don’t know why I asked that.”

You contemplated walking back and grabbing your things, just so you could get out and never set foot here again. It would be difficult to avoid him in the hallways and in classes, but your ego was too bruised to even care about the logistics. Hell, you had half a mind to drive straight back home and beg your parents to move to a different state.

“I’m gonna go,” you huffed out a laugh that sounded a lot like shame and tacked on, for good measure, “sorry.”

Before you could turn around and do your walk of shame, Billy had reached out and circled his fingers around your wrist. You looked down at his grip, too afraid to look at his face or any other part of him.

“Hold on,” Billy sounded neutral, voice a tad bit strained as he rocked back on his feet in contemplation. “Why are you asking me this?”

Not only did you just embarrass yourself, now he wanted an explanation. The thought of it made you screw your face up in a grimace, closing your eyes as if you could close them from the wave of shame you felt crashing into you like violent waves.

“I don’t know.” You replied finally, voice small. “I guess I’m tired of feeling like an outcast.”

Billy’s startled laugh had you whipping your head up, glaring at him and he reached both hands up to his side in apology. He didn’t look very apologetic though, just amused.

“Sorry, I just— outcast, you said? You’re the head cheerleader.”

You crossed your arms over your chest in defence, ignoring his eyes jumping to the movement before he glanced back at your face. “So? That doesn’t mean I jump into bed with everyone.”

His lips stretched into a slow smirk that almost made you squirm, but you stood your ground and tried to look as harsh as possible. It didn’t seem to work, judging by Billy’s face, but you didn’t let it deter you.

“Nah,” his tongue poked the inner side of his cheek. “I’ve heard the opposite. You’re quite a hard catch, sweetheart.”

It made you cringe, the apples of your cheeks burning and you tried to tell yourself it was because of the way he was indirectly calling you a prude and not because he’d just called you sweetheart. Who gave him the right to be so smooth and confident?

“My friends have all… gained more experience. And I feel a little left out.” You wrung your hands together as you offered your explanation, glancing around to check that no one was listening.

It didn’t seem like it, thankfully. Kids were still swimming and dunking each other under water. You imagined that if Billy had been paying more attention, he would’ve cussed them out. But alas...

Billy sighed, clearly a little agitated as he ran his fingers through his tousled hair. His eyes glanced around, settling on something over your shoulder and you didn’t have to look behind you to see that he was looking at your friends. You cringed internally at the thought of them, knowing they’d have a million questions as to why you were speaking to Billy Hargrove of all people. You were as different as two people possibly could be. At least in social status.

“Sorry, sweetheart. I don’t fuck virgins.” His words jarred you, and you took a step back in shock.

The way he said it so bluntly almost made you recoil entirely. This entire situation was starting to seem so laughable.

“What? No!” You frowned. “I’m not a virgin.”

Billy looked confused now, “Then what the fuck are you asking me?”

The absurdity of it all almost made you laugh.

“I just need…” you trailed off. “Experience, I guess.”

Billy looked around, eyes faraway as he contemplated what you were asking of him. You didn’t blame him, it was a bizarre thing to ask of someone you barely knew.

“Alright,” his eyes looked you up and down, smirk crawling onto his face. “I get off in thirty minutes, meet me in the lobby by then.”

That had you pausing, eyebrows almost touching your hairline as you opened your mouth and closed it. You hadn’t expected him to say yes, but you certainly didn’t expect him to also want to do it today. Now? You weren’t ready, had hardly thought it through when you propositioned him. And what were you going to tell your friends?

“Wait, you want to do it now?” You hated how inexperienced and innocent you sounded, but your nerves were alight.

Billy squinted his eyes, the blue of his eyes almost disappearing behind his lids as he sucked his pink bottom lip into his mouth before releasing it. “I’m sorry, did you wanna schedule a session?”

You felt heat crawl up your neck, managing a shake of the head as you took a step back.

“Thirty minutes.” You said breathlessly.

The walk back to your friends was on autopilot, but your mind was running a mile a minute and you were sure your legs were gonna collapse from underneath you. You didn’t know what to expect, or how to feel about it all.

“What the hell?” One of your friends exclaimed when you plopped down on your lounge chair. You almost nodded because, yeah, what the hell?

The thirty minutes felt like days, as you sat in your chair. Your legs were crossed, book open in your lap but you were too anxious to really read. The words were all jumbled and your eyes were flicking over to the other side of the pool area. Billy was in his usual element and if he felt even half of the anxiety you were feeling, then he was a damn good actor. His posture was too relaxed, and he looked calmer than you felt.

You pretended not to look as another lifeguard padded out to where Billy was climbing down the ladder. They exchanged a few words and then Billy was walking away. You couldn’t look away as he passed you, and when your eyes briefly met, you quickly averted your gaze with warmth creeping up your face.

He disappeared into the building, and you gave it exactly two minutes before you told your friends you’d hit the restrooms. You didn’t give them a chance to say anything, getting out of your chair and walking briskly the way Billy had gone.

It was empty in the lobby area, everyone outside basking in the sun instead of sitting indoors. Heather was manning the reception, head down as she scribbled in a notepad. She looked bored and you sidestepped out of her field of view in fear that she’d spot you and strike up a conversation.

You felt his presence before you saw him.

“Come with me.” Billy grabbed your hand, pulling you along as he began walking down a narrow hallway.

You silently followed him, trying not to think too hard about how warm his hand was as it engulfed yours or how nicely his back muscles moved beneath his black top. His hair was curly and frizzy, looking a little dry from all the chlorine water and sunshine. He smelled like chlorine too, but it was more pleasant than one would expect.

It took you a moment to realise that he had stopped outside a door the furthest away from the lobby and you felt your eyebrows scrunch in a frown when he unlocked the door and pushed it open; Revealing a supply closet. It was big, cluttered and smelt weird.

Billy didn’t seem to mind much though, pulling you inside and closing the door behind you. The darkness blanketed the room for a second before the boy flicked the switch. You blinked to get used to the dim light, turning around to look at Billy. Your heart was racing and the small sense of bravado you were feeling earlier had been extinguished as you stood in front of the unruly haired boy. He seemed to be contemplating you, eyes roaming your figure before he took a step forward.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked, voice low enough that you felt it in the pit of your abdomen.

You almost shook your head, because kissing was romantic and intimate and this was anything but that. But you looked in his eyes, gaze dropping to his lips and you found yourself nodding your consent because they looked too inviting not to taste.

He didn’t waste time, fingers sliding over the sides of your throat and into your hair as he crowded your space. You stepped with him when he walked you backwards, pushing your body into a shelf. The impact had your mouth open in a gasp, but he swooped forward to swallow the sound. You moaned in surprise, eyes fluttering closed at the taste of minty gum and cigarette smoke.

Billy was a lot of things, and a good kisser was one of them. Sure, you didn’t have much experience but it didn’t take a genius to recognise a person who knew what he was doing. His lips moved with purpose, tilting your head with the help of his hands as he slowly explored your mouth. His nose pressed into your cheek, little puffs of breath escaping him. He pulled at your hair a little too hard and you unexpectedly moaned into his mouth at the pleasurable pain.

Your stomach was clenching and turning, heart beating so fast that you were afraid he’d be able to feel it when he pressed his chest against yours. If he did, he said nothing of it as he instead pried your mouth open wider for him to taste your tongue. He licked and sucked, his hands leaving your hair to explore your body. You were thankful to still be in your bikini, because it allowed you to feel the heat of his hands as they grabbed and pinched at the skin of your body.

“Good?” He asked breathlessly against your lips, pulling away a bit to look into your eyes.

He grinned wickedly at what he saw on your face; Eyes dazed and blown with lust, lips kissed raw. Billy didn’t know you, but it was clear that you were inexperienced and he intended to have your knees trembling and your voice hoarse before he let you walk out of the supply closet.

“Good.” You echoed, lips touching his when you nodded.

He couldn’t help but feel a small pang of endearment at the sight of you, hurrying to catch your lips in another filthy kiss before his mind strayed too far into unknown territory.

Your chest burned at the lack of oxygen you were getting, but you had no intention of slowing down because your bikini bottoms were getting damp with your slick and that was something new. A person had never had that effect on you. You didn’t even know it was possible to orgasm without the help of your hands and here you were now, turned on beyond belief just because someone was kissing you.

“Fuck, such a good girl,” Billy dragged his lips to your jaw, sucking and licking down your neck and between your tits. He paused a moment to pull back and reach his hands out to grab a handful of them. The action had you gasping, arching into his hold as he swiped his thumbs over your puckered nipples. “Oh baby, someone’s been neglecting you, hm?”

Your face burned at his words, a small whimper tumbling out of your mouth when he grabbed the flimsy material of your cups and pulled them down. Your hands automatically went up to hide your chest from him, but Billy tutted and grabbed both of your hands with a laugh.

“Billy—“ you turned your head up to stare at the ceiling in embarrassment.

“They’re so pretty, sweetheart, look at you.”

His voice had you squirming, pressing your thighs together and Billy almost groaned at the sight. His hands kneaded at your tits, sucking your right nipple into your mouth with a wet noise. His eyes were trained on your face, silently willing you to look back down so you could see how fucking starved he was for you.

The idea of fucking you was something that had passed his mind many times before. At those silly pep rallies, when you walked down the hallway with your friends in your uniform. Hell, he’d fantasise about bending you over and pulling at your ponytail in the classes he did attend. But those were fantasies, nothing more.

He could hardly believe that you were here, tits on display and his mouth suckling on you like a depraved man. He was quick to switch buds, giving it the same treatment before he kissed his way down your stomach. It was heaving, a clear indication that you were turned on beyond belief and something about that had Billy feeling absolutely feral. Fuck, he could smell you from where he was crouched in front of you.

His hands stroked your calves, up your legs before they stopped on your thighs. You whined into the room, bucking your hips a little when he stopped moving.

“Hey,” his voice broke the tense silence. “Look at me.”

You closed your mouth, swallowing as you glanced down at him. He was on his knees, pupils blown wide with lust and lips looking extra pink in the dim light. His cheeks were flushed, a light smattering of red and it looked way better on him than you wanted to admit.

“Tell me, sweetheart,” his voice was teasing, deliciously seductive. “Has anyone ever made you come?”

You rolled your hips at his words, feeling way too turned on to keep yourself together as you whined. It felt like you’d actually die if he didn’t touch you soon. Billy didn’t care though, he expected an answer and he pinched your thighs harshly in retaliation

“Answer me, pretty girl.” He coaxed. “Has anyone ever eaten this little pussy out?”

You felt like you were burning up from the inside when you looked down at him, shaking your head bashfully. “No.”

Billy frowned then, because fuck what a shame. And he voiced that out loud. “That’s a damn shame. You look so pretty like this, and you haven’t even come on my mouth yet.”

That got a moan out of you.

“Please, please,” your voice was small, needy. You were beyond caring about shame or anything other than his hands on you.

Billy danced his fingers up your thighs, touching your pussy over the material of your bikini bottoms. He felt a zap of arousal down his spine when he felt the bump of your swollen clit beneath his finger. You shuddered violently when he pressed the pad of his finger down against your nub, grin forming on his lips.

“Please, what?” He whispered, leaning forward to kiss your hip.

“Please, touch me.”

He didn’t waste anymore time, hooking his fingers into your bottoms and yanking them down your legs. He tapped your calf, urging you to step out of them and you were quick to obey. Billy grinned at your eagerness, fingers finding your center and spreading your lips open. You gasped at the sudden cool air on your slick pussy, rearing your hips back.

He grunted and grabbed a hold of your hip with one hand to pull you forward. You went willingly, mouth dropping open in a silent moan when he leaned forward and sealed his mouth on your cunt.

It was a new feeling, having someone’s mouth on you like this. Your ex-boyfriend had only ever fingered you before he fucked you, and you’d never managed to orgasm with him. Yet here you were, Billy’s mouth licking and sucking on your most sensitive area and your legs were trembling.

It felt like you were falling into the abyss, mind far away and mouth gapping open in silent moans and harsh intakes of breath. You tried to keep eye contact with the boy between your legs, but then he’d suck on or flick your clit with his tongue and you’d throw your head back.

The noises he was making were absolutely obscene, and it lit your nerves up like never before. He was moaning like a starved man, tongue digging into your hole and nose touching your clit so deliciously that you felt the telltale signs of an orgasm incoming.

You let go of the shelf with one hand to grip Billy’s hair, the softness of it grounding you for exactly two seconds before you were starting to make these needy, high pitched noises at the back of your throat. Billy loved it, but you were still in public and you were getting a little too loud. He pulled his mouth away from you, sliding a finger into you instead to keep you skating right on the edge of your orgasm.

“You need to be quiet sweetheart,” he whispered, mirroring your movement when you looked back down to nod at him. He wasn’t even sure you were fully listening to him, judging by the fucked out expression on your face. “Can you do that? Be quiet for me?”

You hummed, a dragged out mmm sound that went up in pitch when he crooked his finger up into the spongy spot, returning his mouth to solely focus on your clit. He ate you out eagerly, listening for sound cues and upping his speed when you bucked your hips into him. His scalp was on fire with how you were pulling at his hair, trying to get him as close to you as humanly possible, but he loved it. Billy was so hard in his shorts that he was sure he’d bust if he got a hand around himself.

He clasped a hand on one of your butt cheeks to pull you into him, and you don’t know why that did it for you. But your mouth opened into a silent scream as you shuddered through your orgasm; Pushing yourself into him as your vision blacked out.

Billy was humming into you, creating little vibrations against your clit that was rapidly growing more sensitive the longer he stayed licking on it. You moaned weakly, head lolling forward to find him staring at you.

“Mmm, hurts,” you rasped, jerking when he sucked on your sensitive bud. “Billy—“

“One more, sweetheart. Give me one more.” He begged you, sliding a second finger into your dripping core.

You almost buckled, grabbing the shelf behind you with both hands to keep yourself upright. The aftershocks faded the longer Billy licked and fucked you on his fingers, a familiar tingling returning as he started pickling up speed.

“Oh Billy,” you moaned, a touch too loud but you didn’t seem to care all to much as you started humping forwards.

Billy flushed, pleased with himself as he leaned back. His jaw was killing him so he replaced his tongue with his calloused thumb, rolling your clit underneath the pad of it like an expert.

“C’mon baby, let me see that pretty face.” He urged you on, fucking you harder and deeper with his fingers.

He didn’t expect you to buck your hips forward, throwing your head back and wail your orgasm out as you came on his hand. You were dripping, body trembling as it tilted forward as if to chase his relentless hand on your pussy. He was in awe, eyes not straying from your sweaty face as you came down from your high, slowing his fingers down before he eventually pulled them out.

You gave away a small hitched moan at the emptiness, and Billy couldn’t help but reach forward to give your clit a little kiss. Your hips jumped at the small touch to your sensitive bud, and you heaved a weak moan.

“Good?” He asked, feeling and sounding quite pleased with himself.

You didn’t reply, still a little lost in your recovery. But that was answer enough for the boy as he slowly reached for your bikini bottoms, pulling them up your legs and mournfully covering your pussy once again. He got to his feet, knees protesting and back aching.

You looked sinfully good, your tits still on display and sweaty all over. Your hands were still grasping onto the shelf as you struggled to hold your weight up, and Billy grinned at that. He silently pulled your cups up over your chest, covering it before he stroked a stray of sweaty hair from your face.

You blinked your eyes open then, and Billy almost lost his breath when they focused on him. You’d been so disarmed during the whole session, relaxed and shameless. So, it was almost endearing to watch how you came back to the present, stumbling upright on shaky legs and face morphing into that shy expression you often donned.

“I can—“ you trailed off weakly, reaching a hand out to grab at his shorts. Billy gathered all the strength in the world to stop you, fingers once again circling your wrist. You blinked up at him, confusion written all over your face.

Billy was still hard, aching to come, but you were in absolutely no shape to reciprocate and he was fine with that. He’d just wait until he got home to rub one out, probably.

“No need,” he gave you a smile when you frowned. “We’ll save that for next time.”

He had expected you to scoff, to roll your pretty little eyes and say that there was no next time. But all you did was give him a slow, shy smile. “Okay.”

Next time. You could work with that.

[matan4il]

Hi, I’ve seen some gifs of that Thai show, but are those two actors together in real life too?

Hi lovely Nonnie!

Oh wow, I did not expect an ask about Kinnporsche The Series / Mileapo, but I probably should have since I went off a bit in the tags of that gifset reblog, didn't I? XD Please never take me too seriously whenever I claim two specific individuals have invented love, I'm just joking around. Unless I'm talking about David and Jonathan, because they totally did. ;p

But if I'm to try and answer seriously, I would say that officially, the last time either Mile or Apo have addressed the issue of their romantic status, they both said they're single (Mile in Aug 2022, Apo in July 2021 if I'm not mistaken). Of course, that's also the response I would expect from them if they were together. Because just like there are opposite sex couples who meet on the sets of movies and TV shows, and fall in love or just have an affair, there are same sex couples who go through the same thing. The difference is that society (and the entertainment business even more so) is still so homophobic, that these same sex couples often can't come out. I mean, if opposite sex couples sometimes feel they need to keep it to themselves, and we only find out about their romances decades later, like in the case of Jane Seymour and Christopher Reeve (if we find out about them at all), then imagine how much harder it is for same sex couples who fall in love as co-stars... (or even when there's a same sex celebrity couple, period)

Other than Mile, Apo and the people they trust, no one really knows if Mileapo actually are a couple and have to be closeted, or if they're just truly the best of friends who bonded so much as co-stars on the set of KPTS that their behavior is hard to distinguish from the way lovers act towards each other. We also have to take into account that they're from Thailand, and the cultural norms for how men are allowed to interact can be very different. Especially when we remember that they starred in a BL (gay themed show) together, and the norm for that is heavy fan service. I AM convinced that even then, their bond runs deeper than fan service, especially since the original production of KPTS was canceled, and the production company that was set up instead explicitly said it would not require fan service. Plus, this company was co-founded by Mile to save KPTS and give Apo his second chance to shine as an actor, after he had been previously bullied by homophobes into leaving the acting world. So yeah, I have every reason to believe their connection is real.

And the fact that this is a part of their unhinged story (that they met briefly as models 7 years before they auditioned for KPTS, that they obviously thought the other one is an attractive man and remembered each other all of these years, that Mile watched Apo's shows, that they re-connected at the auditions and seem to have been inseparable since, for over 2.5 years now, that they fought together for KPTS to be made and then gave us on screen an astounding love story, that they chose to go on working together on their next projects, including the upcoming queer film Man Suang, and continue to hang out even outside of their busy schedule together) brings us to what is most meaningful to me about them. Whether their bond is romantic or platonic, it's clearly so deep that I wouldn't hesitate to call them soulmates. They love and care for each other, support one another, and I think they healed each other in ways that make me feel soft and happy to know that such love exists in the world. So I'm going to continue rooting for them, and possibly joke about it like I know that they're a couple, because in a very profound sense of the word, even if it's not romantic, they are.

This was probably way too long, my apologies. Okay, have a Mileapo being in sync gif just to make it a bit better...

Have a good day! As always, my ask tag. xoxox

[inzaghisgirlfriend]

Rewatch!

Step into a time machine with me, if you will, and let it whisk us back to March of 2021.

Simpler times, then, n'est ce pas? We're but a year into a global pandemic, and I am clinging by a thread to my sanity and, without knowing it, mere weeks away from my first covid vaccine and the freedom and return to normalcy it will immediately and entirely provide* (spoiler, this did not pan out 100%).

I have joined twitter, as one does, out of desperation, because tumblr is a dumpster fire everyone is fleeing from for a site that isn't being ruined by a poorly-effectuated rebranding, unchecked hate, weird algorithm issues, and corporate nickel and diming. Funny how those things come full circles sometimes...

There, as here, I am following a lovely person who makes exceptional gifsets and has extraordinary taste in television (ifykyk). Her timeline has begun to fill with odd gifs of besuited and beautiful Korean people and otherwise context-free shouts into the void like "sexy lawyers" and "murder hornets!!"

Understand that, while it seems insane now that I've watched roughly 40 and would have to physically restrain myself from doing something embarrassing should I meet the man, there was once a time in my life when I had never watched a Korean drama nor even heard of Song Joong Ki.

As time goes by, though, my terror and confusion on twitter give way instead to a persistent feeling of intrigue and envy.

Because I realize there is a lot of shouting. And amongst other people with exceptional taste. I have been trapped in my house with the same people and walls and 8 meals and 23 minute walk around the block I'd seen and done and lived for the last year. So the appeal of disappearing through the tv to a place with hot people dressed up nice in a place I'd never thought much about before grew and grew. Even if there's trained murder hornets there.

So I open a shady-ass site with a seriously committed ad server Netflix on my phone and curl up and watch, stunned, the absolute best fucking 20 minutes of any TV intro I've ever fucking seen.

We're now nearly 3 years beyond that point, and I've met exceptionally interesting and funny and brilliant people and seen the most gorgeous gifsets and fanart you can imagine and read a ridiculous amount of fanfic (and written perhaps a little here and there, give or take 750,000 words) and headcanoned every possible scenario you can imagine and even flew to the other side of the world and stood in the middle of Seoul, not only amidst the pigeons of 'Geumga Plaza', but also between the parted legs of a building-high cutout of Song Joong Ki.

But I've never, ever rewatched the show in its entirety from start to finish.

So, with that in mind, away we go. A second time.

[realbeefman]

What is good about Please Like Me, that gifset got me curious

OK SO

Please Like Me is a semi-biographical sitcom about josh thomas, an australian comedian and his life experience up to around. 2013. some elements are fictionalized but his character is named josh and it draws heavily from his own life experiences as a queer autistic person. it is VERY funny and one of my fav shows ever. i recc it to absolutely everyone (it's available on prime video oooorr u can watch it on youtube through entirely legal means heeere)

the central character is josh, whose first scene in the show is literally his girlfriend going "we have to break up because you are GAY. CLEARLY GAY." and him just going "yeah... true...". supporting characters include josh's straight roommate, tom (who is exactly as fucked-up as josh), josh's mom, who is struggling with very severe mental health issues, and josh's dad, who has just gotten remarried and is So so worried about his loved ones.

note that josh thomas himself actually wasn't diagnosed himself at the time of making the show, so the show itself never Actually uses the words "autistic" to describe josh, but in retrospect josh thomas has said he considers the character he plays on the show to be autistic, and definitely would have explored that in canon if he'd had that language at the time.

all in all it is very funny changed my own perspective on mental health and helped me get through a pretty-bad period in my life where i felt pretty helpless and mired in self-hatred (much like the protagonist initially is). i'm in the middle of a rewatch of the show rn and it's just as incredible as i remember.

[inkedroplets]

20 Questions More

A deeper and more detailed version of the 20 questions for AO3 fanfic writers. Thanks @eqt-95 for the tag

1) How do you keep getting ideas for your ship/fandom?

I always have too many ideas and not enough time to actually write.

2) Which authors inspire you in your fandom, and why are they so freakishly good?

There are way too many authors to list that I feel like would deserve a mention. I would love to give a huge thank you to all the gifmakers still in the fandom-sphere. I can probably thank gifsets for a lot of my ideas (even if I still haven't actually written them down).

3) Aside from the characters of your main ship, who are the characters you love to write?

Within the Supercorp-sphere, I love writing for Sam. I think because I would have loved to see her stick around longer in the show itself.

4) Are there pairings or tropes you know for sure you'd never write about? Which ones?

I don't want to say any trope is technically off the table but I don't think I'd ever write a true enemies to lovers fic. I slow burn enough as it is, if I tried to write that, I'd never finish it.

5) What is your writing process and why is it cursed?

My editing process is akin to pulling weeds. I like to reduce my word count by maybe 10% on the first edit. Add back maybe 5% more and repeat the process until I'm finally happy with it. Spoiler alert: I'm never happy

6) What is your favorite part of your writing process?

I'm much more a gardener when it comes to writing so I never know where the story will go exactly. So just writing the first draft is always the most fun for me. I sometimes think the characters will act a certain way and they kind of take a life of their own and I'm just along for the ride.

7) What’s the weirdest thing you’ve had to research for a fic?

I remember having to research art forgery for essentially a throwaway line but it really was interesting. E

8) Is there a particular writing rule you struggle with (grammar, spelling, tense, reality in general)?

None in particular, but that's not to say I don't make many many mistakes. I do tend to make tiny changes as I go which means that I've doubled up on some sentences in the past and I am always mortified when I find them after I've already posted the chapter.

9) What was your hardest scene to write so far and why?

Scenes with urgency give me trouble. You want the scene to breathe but you need to be aware that time is short so what the characters can say, what they want to say and what they actually get to say are so different. There was a scene like that in A Rich Girl With Issues that I kind of agonized over. How much should I let Kara and Lena speak to one another, what's important, what should be left unsaid?

10) Have your characters ever done something you didn’t expect, changing your plot completely?

All. The. Time. I never have a plan. I sometimes have scenes I want to write and hope the story veers in that direction so I can write it but it always turns out so different.

11) If you could converse with any of the characters, who would it be and why?

Probably Lena because she's the loml (Apologies to the actual loml)

12) What are some of the tropes or themes that you find yourself returning to in your writing?

I am addicted to pining. Not just pining, angsty pining. I love writing something that's so obvious to everyone else when the characters are so in love or so full of self-loathing that they can't let themselves even begin to imagine their feelings being returned.

13) What's your most important resource as a writer?

Reading. I read voraciously. I'm normally surrounded by books. Some that I pick up to just read anywhere. It's helped me find my voice and it's helped me grow as a writer (at least I think it has)

14) Can you share some of your strategies for editing and revising your work?

I do small edits as I go but nothing major. If a line sticks out that I really don't like then I usually tinker with it before I move on. I think that's not good advice in general but it bothers me too much to ignore. But if you do edit as you go, there's a lot less to polish in the final editing stages.

15) Which is worse: making the summary, picking the tags, or the anxiety when you post your fic?

I hate making the summary. I don't even know what the fic is about, how the hell am I supposed to tell other people?

16) How do you define success for your fanfic - hits? Kudos? Comments? Bookmarks? Or just if you like it?

I feel like my writing is very selfish in a way. They are stories that I want to read and I get enjoyment out of writing them. So every kind comment I get, there's always a sense of wonder because it's so strange that someone else is interested. I truly do cherish every comment and there are many I like to revisit when I'm not feeling so confident in my writing.

17) Do you have a playlist for your favorite character/ship?

I usually make a playlist for each multi-chapter fic. Some fic ideas get their start as a playlist. Please someone ask me about them, I have so many.

18) If fan art was going to be made from your work, which fic would you pick and which fan artist would you like to create it?

I have been very blessed that people have made fan art of my work and I'm still in awe. I could never even begin to describe how touched and honored I am that anybody did that. One of the pieces has been my computer background for ages. It's not an exaggeration that I cherish every single piece. I honestly don't think I could ever adequately describe how much it means to me.

19) How many WIPs do you currently have?

For Supercorp I have 15+ I do plan on actually posting them in the new year.

20) What's your advice to new fanfic writers?

I would say to write for yourself first and foremost. Sharing your art or your writing or even your head canons or ideas takes a lot of courage. It's scary to put something out there that means so much to you. I'd also advise not to get too hung up on hits/kudos/comments etc. I can't say don't look at them because I'd be a hypocrite but I would say to focus on the journey rather than the destination.

- - - - -

tagging (respectfully and without pressure) @fazedlight @autisticlenaluthor @rustingcat

[whumptober]

Hi there, I’ve sent in a similar ask before on anon and never received an answer, I’m hoping it got eaten by tumblr, but in the future can you try to avoid making prompts that are heavily tied to disabilities (examples from this year include seizures, crutches, allergic reaction, and panic attack among others)?

The nature of this event means that a lot of the time these topics end up not being handled with the care and respect they deserve, as completionists will often spend a day or two per prompt and don’t factor the time in to properly research the topic in order to be able to handle it respectfully.

I would also advise against promoting prompt fills that are ableist or romanticize/trivialize disabilities in the future as well, an example from this year being the gifsets for the prompt seizures. I am asking you this as someone who has epilepsy and has historically seen a lot of offensive and sometimes potentially dangerously misinformed prompt fills come from Whumptober both this year and in years past where seizures has been a prompt, and from input I’ve gotten when discussing this and conversations I’ve seen and been a part of, while I am not as familiar with ableist tropes that apply to some of the other prompts, I know that other disabilities are similarly poorly handled when they’re given as a prompt by this and similar events.

I don’t think that the mods or most of the community are being intentionally ableist, but there’s a lot of unintentional ableism in the prompt fills and the prompts being chosen. I understand that this event is a lot of work to run and is intended to be fun, but by allowing even unintentional ableism to be as rampant as it is in this event, there are a lot of people who are either being alienated from the event or finding it a lot less fun.

Hi there, thank you very much for this ask and for bringing this issue to our attention. Unfortunately it seems as though Tumblr ate your last ask. Firstly, we would like to sincerely apologise for any harm which is has been caused by these prompts. In creating this prompt list we tried to avoid using ones which could cause offence - and avoid a repeat of the "blindness" issue. But what we're learning is that we didn't go far enough in our efforts. And we apologise for that.

We did make an effort to fix the issue with the prompt "seizures" by changing the tag in order to avoid that tag being filled with fills when it could be used by people to have real life discussions. While that worked to an extent, it is clear that the message didn't reach everyone. We made an announcement post, but it seems like it wasn't seen as much as it could have been. We can't blame people for that - we have a tagging system we use and have encouraged people to use, so of course we couldn't expect every participant to see that we had announced an exception. This was a learning experience for us.

In terms of reblogging, we have a team of volunteers who generally run the archive, but for the prompt day including seizures I was in charge of reblogging. I wasn't sure about reblogging gifs, but I realised that I had reblogged some by accident. That was my bad, and apologies for that. One thing we would like to say though is that we can't ask our volunteers to look through every post that they reblog. With how many creations which are made everyday too, we just don't have the resources or capacity to check every piece of work. But we also don't want to get rid of archiving altogether. So in this step at least, there's very little we can do.

We'd like to improve. We're aware of the stretch of Whumptober and the number of participants. We can't tell everyone they must do their research- there's just no way to enforce that. However we can encourage people to be mindful and thoughtful in regards to what they're writing if they're publicising it, and this is something we'll try to do moving forwards. We can't control what people make, but we can encourage thoughtfulness and mindfulness.

I saw in a mention after reading this ask that someone had pulled us up for being more considerate of AI art and the artists participating in Whumptober than we were of this issue. It made me really uncomfortable reading that because I realised it was right. So thank you for pulling us up on this.

We obviously can't stop the unintentional ableism or tell people they cannot participate if they don't have time to research. But we can limit it by being responsible ourselves and working on what we can control.

I hope you can see that we're going to work on this. We'll be more mindful of prompts, we'll encourage our participants to be thoughtful and mindful and we'll try to avoid using tags like seizures in the future. We're also actively discussing what else we can do.

Whumptober is for everyone, and the last thing we want to do is exclude people with our own lack of understanding.

- mod claire

[founderscouncil]

"do you ever cry about this family of morally questionable vampires" all day every day. even more when you post your thoughts on hope's name and the pressure which comes with it because talk about FEELS and an amazing portrayal!!! ( btw, leah says hope should definitely check out ibiza or whichever tropical island she likes. it's ok. it's vacation time. )

look out folks, tina activated my trap card (but under the cut because it's long and rambly like i usually am)

OKAY so re: hope's name, i know this was happening in the era of tv where every 'miracle child' was named hope for the same reasons but that gifset really just cemented in how heavy that burden was placed on hope. for a lot of the others, i feel like they were born right as the show ended so we never delve into that, but this is happening at the very start of her life and we follow that.

for a large part of the originals, hope is pretty much a plot device, without a lot of agency. even in s4 where she's seven and actually has a voice, she's still mostly a plot device meant to expand on the actual main characters of the show (and this is not a knock, that's the point and i get it)

but from the perspective of hope, she grows up seeing how her very presence causes, frankly, so many issues for her family? her earliest memories are of her and hayley in hiding, carting around the bodies of her family in coffins, which immediately launched her into being possessed by her ancient ancestor, and then sent off to boarding school 'to have a normal childhood'. it's honestly confusing to her very black and white child's type of thinking, why they call her hope, when she feels like she causes more problems than anything. she has to shed the name mikaelson for her protection, but she still goes by hope, and it's a perpetual reminder of what she was supposed to be for her family, only they're in pieces because she was too weak to stand up against a 1000 year old malevolent spirit (like seriously, god, you're seven now hope, you should be better). she's so desperate to be her family's 'hope' that she writes a fanfic where she can finally defeat the hollow and reunite her family. it's why she develops this system of checks and balances that she tries to live by, because 'hope' is inherently 'good' and so that's what she has to be

despite elijah telling hope at the end of s5 that she shouldn't put that on her shoulders and apologizing for it, by that point.... it's just kinda too little too late? she's already kidnapped her mother who is now dead, she's absorbed so much evil that she needs to murder people and wreak havoc just to let it out, and she's pretty sure that she's dying. hope has lived her entire life up until this point, trying to live up to an ideal that was placed on her before she was born. even if none of the family 'consciously' pushed her on it, there was always an undercurrent of "hope is better than us, we have to protect her innocence, she is good" from her family that she felt like she had to embody, even though she's a marshall and a mikaelson and has an explosive temper.

anyways, i know that she never changes 'hope' whenever she has the multitude of opportunities to go by different names because tv audiences get confused easily, but i also think she continues to go by it because more than her bloodline or powers or the name 'mikaelson', it's her first name that she feels like she has to first conquer, before she's even allowed to be considered a mikaelson. it's weird and childish and doesn't make sense, but it's how she's always operated, and she never really feels like she lives up to it. but as she grows, she mellows out about it, learns to embrace it just like her last name and realizes how unrealistic and hard she's being on herself (look ma, growth!)

she will definitely take leah up on that offer for a 3 year vacation in the tropics somewhere though

[rumpunch]

HIIII so… i finally got to see hadestown this weekend (the national tour production) w two of my best friends 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 i knew we were gonna see it for months but i didnt want to post abt it beforehand / acknowledge it in any way after making plans bc i was scared i would jinx it like what happened when i posted / talked abt seeing shows on the west end and then covid hit and sent me home lol. but i can’t believe i finally saw it!! it doesn’t feel real and honestly didn’t until right now as im writing this….. being in the theater was truly an out of body (and mind lol) experience for better or for worse. this was my first time seeing a show since covid and im soooo glad it was this one given how much it’s meant to me for all these years 🥹💗

i have a lot of thoughts on the production and also the plot / story so here they are lol:

production thoughts

for context ive never seen a hadestown 👢 before, i told myself that i wanted my first experience of seeing it to be actually seeing it in person. but ive listened to the obcr 5798673594 times over the last 3 years and the songs have become thoroughly woven into my life... so that made for a really weird experience where i knew every word but was watching it unfold for the first time and yet i knew what was coming for the most part. that also could be chalked up to the fact that ive seen so many gifsets and have read so many posts about other ppl seeing the show so i did know about some visual things.. but yeah it was just weird what i knew / expected and what i didnt lol

my friends and i sat in the back right corner of the mezzanine (like the LITERAL corner. no chairs behind us or next to us and the exit right next to us) and sadly the balcony in the set was cut off for us so we had to keep leaning across each other or scrunching our heads down to see the action up there :~/ but it was ok

i think bc of the above two bullet points + the fact that i really did not let myself believe that i was going to see the show bc i was scared of jinxing it + me having depression / possible derealization issues that i did not have when i first got into this show... i was kinda numb the entire time which sucks a little. i cried a couple times (happy / disbelieving tears in road to hell (persephone's entrance specifically for some reason, idk why it wasnt the "aight"s LOL) and any way the wind blows, sad tears in doubt comes in) but i didnt really... process anything in the moment or really experience the epic highs and lows of it while watching it. i just generally wasnt very moved! and im processing the show right now for the first time. and that kinda sucks and is unlike me and unlike what i thought seeing it was gonna be like. in a similar vein i found myself really focused on whoever was in the spotlight and im kinda mad at myself for that bc this is a show where SO many little details / context clues are communicated when ppl are in the background. but its fine i guess, i may be in a weird place mentally but i got to see it and maybe i'll see it again someday and be more moved

the cast was PHENOMENALLLLLL. j antonio rodriguez was our orpheus and he was the standout for me, his singing and acting as were breathtaking! i was frustrated about hannah whitley (eurydice) though bc like (and i feel bad for saying all of this)... nobody can be eva noblezada but hannah was missing a lot of notes / singing off key and kept like.. idk what the technical term for it is but she was kinda singing on her own beat and adding in a lot of pauses or rushing into things instead of staying on pace with the music and also she kept kinda revving up into the high notes and all of it grated on me. but i grew warmer to her singing in act 2 and i really appreciated her acting throughout! i didnt rly have many thoughts about hades (matthew patrick quinn), persephone (maria christina oliveras), or hermes (nathan lee graham) aside from ADORING all of their performances and what they brought to the roles compared to the obc! and the fates (dominique kempf, belén moyano, courtney lauster) / ensemble (kc dela cruz, colin lemoine, sean watkinson, shavey brown, raquel williams) / musicians were INCREDIBLE and had such amazing chemistry with and between each other :~D

antonio made for a bolder more charming orpheus and hannah made for a darker moodier more tortured eurydice which was interesting. but (and maybe this was just me dealing with the whole numbness / already knowing what to expect thing) i wasnt really convinced about their love story (specifically the early parts of it in act i as they were falling in love) or that orpheus in particular was insecure and vulnerable to the fates. but they did have some good chemistry in act ii especially and i was rooting for them so hard despite knowing wht was to come :~(

i knew that on broadway they have that little elevator in the center of the stage so i was curious about how it would work in the tour and... they had this giant oven box thing with moving doors! i actually really liked that, it made the whole idea of traveling to / from hadestown seem more sinister. that said i was kinda bothered by it during doubt comes in because orpheus and eurydice had to walk around the entire stage to make sure eurydice was positioned in front / inside of the oven and it kinda spoiled the ending in a way (even though we all know how that ends)... im guessing that on broadway its less exaggerated and you dont see it coming bc all eurydice has to do is just move over to the side a little. but idk i'll finally let myself watch a 👢 and see what the difference is

i couldnt take my eyes off of hades and persephone during promises. they started the song with hades kneeling with his head against persephone's stomach and then he stood up and they just hugged.... for a LONG time. like at least 3-5 minutes. and i was like god i wish that were me and i was thinking about what that mustve been like for the actors playing them.. like if thats a moment that they share and look forward to or whatever bc i know i would. it made me think about jenna's dear baby monologue in you matter to me LOLLLL

i saw from another post i read on here (as i was pregaming for the show by scrolling thru my hadestown tag LMAO) that orpheus runs through the audience at one point? and he didnt do that for us that i saw which i was bummed about. maybe thats just a broadway thing

i had no idea the set splits open during wait for me!!! it was so cool

i also didnt know / fully realize that hades produces a flower for persephone during epic iii 😭 the tears in my eyes... also speaking of epic iii hades singing the lalalalalalalaaaa got a LAUGH and i was so MAD!!!!! i get that its kinda funny because it just sounds so weird in his voice and its a startling moment... but that pissed me off bc the moment is supposed to be so tender and heartbreaking and the audience didnt appreciate that.. augh.

since its pride month the set was initially lit up with rainbow lights and in act ii hermes had little rainbow tassles on the ends of his sleeves!! :~D

plot / story thoughts

another context bullet point to kick us off: i discovered hadestown in the spring / summer of 2019 which was an INCREDIBLY formative time for me and so many aspects of the show (creative expression as a tool / forum for bringing about the world as it could be (and illuminating the possibilities in the world as it is), discovering that you have agency, love / loyalty / betrayal / sustenance, finding your purpose, etc.) were profoundly relevant to things that i was awakening to at that exact place and time in my own life. so i went into this experience hoping to have more insights like the kind i had when i first listened to the obcr... and i didnt really. i mean i had some but they didnt feel as profound i guess? and again that may just be me having mental health issues now that i didnt have then.. but that was a thing that i was aware of and kinda sad about. so yeah

that said... the main thing along those lines that i did take away (which really only hit me while watching epic iii / promises) is like... love is agency is love is agency is love.... or something like that. at least that they coexist and happen together. the oppressive conditions in hadestown and the poverty in the overworld strip the gods and humans alike of... their humanity (which is weird to apply to the gods but still)! their sense of self, and their love for each other and the world. the moment that became clear for me was in epic iii when the workers took off their goggles one by one and it was like.. they could See again! they could see themselves and each other, they were holding hands with each other and singing together. and they saw a future that they could create together. and hades was letting persephone dance and she kept spinning away from him with her arms outstretched like a bird but then coming back... idk. im not articulating this well and i need to think about it more and let it simmer for a bit and maybe watch a 👢 to get all the details. but it was like yeah... the opposite of capitalism imperialism etc etc is love and agency and they go together and they are the same thing.

another thing i need to think about more: orpheus went to hadestown all by himself to get eurydice! how come he was so confident then? he was LITERALLY alone. he didnt know where she went or if she would come back with him. and he didnt have the workers following him (though they were there in wait for me swinging the lamps, but i interpreted them as being like... part of the scenery i guess). he was completely alone and operating off of hope AND THE FATES TAUNTED HIM TOO and he was like... fine! so then in doubt comes in.. when he has all these people including eurydice following him... like idk. maybe its just because he'd confronted hades who couldnt fully be trusted and he knew that eurydice had turned her back on him and stuff... like maybe its just because on the journey back he'd experienced things that caused him to doubt / mistrust the people he was journeying with / from and that's what made him vulnerable, not so much the physical loneliness but the emotional loneliness that comes with a betrayal. which is something i just realized typing it out lol. but that kinda agitated me bc its like... he was FINE the way up so why did he crumble on the way back :~(

doubt comes in is such a fucking GUT PUNCH btw. i wanted to cry harder but didnt let myself bc i didnt want to be too loud or soil my mask. but i was so so scared to see it and it devastated me. its just so... SAD. and its so... like i relate to / identify with orpheus SO much yes in part because of the creative expression / seeing the two worlds thing but also because of doubt comes in specifically. its just so so so sad. he had all of these people including the person he loved most cheering him on and echoing to him. and he couldnt hear them. and he couldnt internalize how much they loved and believed and trusted in him. and he turned. that is so wrenchingly real. and it hurt so bad to see it playing out on the stage knowing what was about to happen and then WATCHING it in all the brilliant horror. like thats another insane thing the way the lights get so wildly bright. actually now that i mention that i think the lights are brighter in hadestown when bad things are happening. like hades saying I CONDUCT THE ELECTRIC CITY etc etc. that could be a whole post. someone should make that

im thinking a lot about The Song and whose song it is and actually WHICH song it is. bc if you think about it... so we're introduced to the lalalalalalalaaaa and whatever song that is which builds in the epics. and that song incites a lot of action like orpheus (quite literally!) tuning out eurydice which causes her to choose to go to hadestown, and hades realizing what love is and whatever. but another song that is equally if not more catalytic is.... IF IT'S TRUE!!!! bc thats the song that sparks the revolution among the workers and gives orpheus hope that he almost lost after learning about eurydice's betrayal and inspires eurydice to fight for something instead of succumbing to her fate. and in wait for me reprise when eurydice is singing "echoing OUR song" "the falling of OUR feet" ... like they're not alone as just the two of them, the workers are coming too!! so which song is she referring to! what if it's actually "if it's true" and the hopes that orpheus has stirred up about what the world could be?

btw speaking of orpheus tuning out eurydice... im sure this point has been made 5476463979 times but its rly interesting to think about how love languages (for lack of a better way to put it, ik that can be kinda reductive) work in this show. eurydice and orpheus both attempt to address the storm but the ways they choose to do it are different / dont align: eurydice tries to manage the short term by searching for food and firewood, while orpheus works on the song that will bring spring back and stop this kind of disaster from happening again. but iirc they dont talk about how they're going to take these two different but equally important strategies — eurydice at least interprets the song as being unimportant and orpheus just... straight up seems unaware of the food / firewood thing also being important. so theres a communication failure and eurydice interprets the silence as abandonment (for good reason, also relatable) and turns her back (ha!) on orpheus. and then with hades and persephone... hades does all these big flashy power gestures to show his love for persephone but it's the exact opposite of what she wants and they dont see eye to eye about how to express their love for each other either. yeah

speaking of eurydice making that choice... like yeah. sigh. betrayal is such a huge thing in this show. trust and betrayal. eurydice was (kind of) leading orpheus through the immediate short term danger of the storm and she turned on him. and the fact that she did was part of the reason orpheus turned on her. they made their vows in promises that they would walk side by side but he couldnt get over it (partially bc they literally weren’t allowed to physically walk as they planned but still). and eurydice said "im right behind you and i have been all along" and its like no you havent been thats the entire plot of the show lol (again for understandable reasons but still!)

another thing im sure has been analyzed 456456984 times but its interesting to think about hermes watching everything playing out while knowing how it will end and not choosing to intervene. idk what that means and my laptop is running out of battery so im not going to dig into it but im just thinking on it. BUT ALSO THAT GOES FOR US AS THE AUDIENCE like so many ppl probably know how it ends and maybe some ppl are seeing it multiple times and its like... anyone could intervene and change the story (within reason ofc). also goes for the other ppl on stage too like the musicians etc. its just interesting to think about the implications of that and what would happen if someone tried it both "in character" and "out of character" i guess

its interesting to think about the role walls play in the show too. like the wall hades is making the workers build to keep out the "enemy" and keep them (him) powerful and prosperous in their (his) isolation vs the walls repeating the falling of feet, echoing songs... letting people know theyre not alone. and the fact that that doesnt happen in doubt comes in even though orpheus is being followed by a whole crowd basically. idk. fascinating

ok those are all of my thoughts i think! i also saw some interesting posts / takes that im going to rb again bc theyre on my mind as i interpret the show but i dont want to put them in this post bc theyre not my original thoughts. ty for reading if you did :~D this is a glorious new era in rumpunch nation im so glad and grateful that i can finally say ive seen this beautiful show!

[scoobydoodean]

hi it's gadreel anon from yesterday and i just wanna say 'there's no way in hell he'd say yes to being possessed by anything' <- direct quote from dean in 9x01. we don't know what sam would actually have said if given the choice but dean believes he would never agree to it so he and 'ezekiel' have to come up with a way to get a yes from sam without sam fully knowing what's happening. good of him to try to tell sam later but he did believe he had to wait until it was too late for sam to say no.

Hi Gadreel anon! For anyone who doesn't know, this would be related to my tags on a reblog last night about the "Gadreel Situation". Anon had also sent this very appreciated message about a much needed uquiz choice!

I also JUST got another anon message that begins with,

obsessed w people who compare sam’s willingness for death in s8/s9 (which, to me at least, read as him being suicidal) to a DNR.

So DNR anon—this is for you too!

So the issue is, Gadreel anon, in my tags I was thinking of a different moment from the one you were referring to! I was thinking of this moment:

and you were thinking of this moment earlier in the same episode:

So my bad in my tags!

(This makes me even more interested in, at some point, doing a uquiz about fandom memory haha).

Too late for Sam to say no though? I didn't say otherwise. I said that Dean wanted to put the choice back in Sam's hands as soon as possible, but then allowed himself to be convinced not to when he shouldn't have, and that either way, Gadreel would never have let Dean tell Sam.

But here's what I always come back to, which is what the OP whose post I tagged on was getting at and what I meant when I talked about analyzing the situation in a vacuum (I'm not saying this is something you are doing Gadreel Anon—it just got me thinking about some of the ways fandom talks about Sam in this context and then DNR anon came in with their frustrations):

Here's 8.14 "Trial and Error" when Sam originally insists on being the one to do The Trials.

This is a Sam full of hope. This is a Sam who knows his brother intends to treat The Trials as a way to off himself because he thinks he's disposable to everyone in his life and he's disposable to himself. So Sam insists, "No—absolutely not—you will NOT be doing The Trials in this state of mind!! I'm going to be the one to do The Trials and I am going to survive then I'm going to save you from your suicidal ideation!"

By 8.21 though, Sam is no longer a man full of hope. He's a man who believes he needs to die so everyone can be spared of him—so that he can become clean:

[Gifset (EVEN MORE HEARTBREAKING) here]. And here's a rant back and forth between me and a friend about that moment, which is also a more general commentary on my thoughts about fandom framing things as "Sam had peacefully come to the conclusion that he was ready to die and Dean shouldn't have tried to stop him from killing himself in "Sacrifice", and season 9 is just him doubling down on when he was "manipulative" and "selfish" in 8.23 because he *checks notes* convinced his suicidal brother not to kill himself, just like Sam did for him in 8.14 (also, if anyone is actively attempting to manipulate anyone in 8.23—which is not how I like to view the scene on my good days—it's not Dean <3 love and light <3).

So yeah—despite the popularity of reducing the entire thing down to "Sam was ready to die and Dean just couldn't let him go!!!" It is, in my opinion, a terrible take, because it ignores literally everything that happened and Sam's actual state of mind! He originally intended to live!! That was the WHOLE POINT!!! Then that changed to him wanting to kill himself because he thought he was dirty and that he deserved it!

So then Dean makes the same promise to Sam that Sam made to him in 8.14 and couldn't fulfill. He takes on the burden of that promise for both of them instead, and he becomes the one saying, "I'll show you to the light at the end of the tunnel and you'll see there's a future and a hope for you and that you are not irreparably broken and disposable". And Sam agrees!! He agrees that he wants to live!!!

Then they get to the hospital, and Gadreel is saying "There's only one way left I can think of to save Sam" and Dean immediately dismisses it, but then he asks Gadreel, "If I consider this – and I mean just consider it – I need something, man. You got to prove to me how bad he is." And when Dean says that, he means how suicidal is his brother? How much does he still hate himself and how much is he refusing to fight on his own because he hates himself? Is he even really fighting? And this is the answer he gets:

"Nobody else can get hurt because of me"!!! Ahhhhh!!!!

I do think one thing we can argue, is that Dean should have entered Sam's mind and convinced him to fight on his own! However, in desperation, Dean happened to have made an ill-thought-out prayer doxxing his location earlier in the day to a legion of very pissed off angels, all of whom hate his guts and know that a guy whose guts they hate even more is obsessed with him (like—Naomi making him kill thousands of fake Dean's obsessed), so beating him and his brother to death sounded really nice at that moment! So Dean did not have the time! And Sam's issues were far larger than one conversation could fix (as proved by Sam's state of mind in 9.01 coming immediately after agreeing to continue fighting in 8.23).

Dean, when he first made the decision to go into Sam's head through Gadreel to get him to say "Yes", considered the action he took as applying the charge to jolt Sam back to life after he tried to kill himself, which absolutely—was against Sam's expressed wish (re: conversation with Death) that he wanted to die. But when fans complain about that, they are complaining about something we as a society do all of the time when we want people who want to kill themselves to not kill themselves. It's just that this charge Dean applies is angelic and comes with extra strings and complications and another "thing that Sam did not want" besides just wanting to live. However, Dean was thinking, "As soon as Sam is back, I can put the decision in his hands!" Then he kept allowing himself to be convinced "A little longer", "a little longer", "just a little longer" and he thought, "Well, even if Sam hates me, at least he'll be alive!"

Some people will shrug and think, "Well, Dean should have just taken the L!" And that's okay! I have no problem with someone saying, "Dean should not have done it, because even though his motive was wanting to save his suicidal brother, the actions he took to do so were too far and therefore were wrong, and he should have prioritized respecting Sam's wishes and Sam's principles over applying angelic life-support Sam would disagree with". But that isn't what Dean did, and I... just don't think the motivations for his actions were nearly so selfish and evil as a lot of fandom wants to make them out to be, and are choices a lot of people would probably make in the same circumstances and in the same situation. Including, according to himself, Sam—who admits in 9.23, after his initial claim at the end of "The Purge" that he wouldn't do the same thing—"I lied". Then he spends all of season 10 proving all kinds of insane and morally questionable lengths he'll go to to keep Dean around!!! Things that he knows Dean does not agree with!!! While Sam doesn't directly let something possess Dean, in season 10, Dean does not want Sam to use the Book of the Damned and tells him directly not to use it several times—that he does NOT want to be saved using that book, because he is afraid of the consequences. However, Sam uses it anyway and orders Oskar up a human sacrifice in his wake with absolutely zero remorse—like he is ordering pizza—which is something Sam also knows, and has known since season 3 when Sam had a couple of plots that involved it, that Dean is not cool with at all!!! And hardcore Sam stans will argue "Well Sam was trying to save the world from Dean!" but actually no!! He chose this specific path that involved removing The Mark and saving his brother (despite the forewarned cosmic consequences and Dean's repeated insistence that said consequences were unacceptable) rather than locking Dean away forever, because he wanted his brother back!!! And while they were standing in a town being ripped to shreds by Amara, Sam said, "I would do it again"!

All of that to say—I'm not saying nothing Dean did was wrong, but fandom's analysis of the whole situation is bad and attributes motivations to Dean and Sam that are wrong!!!

[rosyjuly]

Sorry…ma’am…excuse me…but did you say Prince George attends an event and meets Mr Hamilton…and Mr Hamilton’s husband????? W h a t? Please I’m begging you I need a little more clarity on that. What do mr Hamilton and his darling husband do?? Is it Sir Hamilton in this universe as well?? Does George watch them openly hold hands and kiss each other on the cheek and Sebastian(I assume??) sweep his husband into a waltz and want to die from envy and wondering what it would feel like to be able to love so freely??? 😭

anon thank you SO much for allowing my joker moment about prince au - seb/lewis version oh my god! (gifset and tags in question here)

so mr lewis hamilton (he will be sir, but is mr just yet) is a philanthropist: he runs a sports charity, dabbles in fashion, is a UN ambassador. his husband, a herr sebastian vettel (you assume correctly) is a university professor focusing on environmental/sustainability development.

they met years ago at a fancy reception hosted about “social issues” where lewis was invited for his activism and seb because he teaches environmental governance and is a big deal in international advocacy. the keynote speaker stressed the importance of collaboration and listening to experts in the field and then handed off the mic and ‘unfortunately had to leave for an engagement arranged prior’. seb made an offhand comment about how politicians still don’t know how to practice what they preach and lewis snorted into his champagne flute. they had been aware of each other before but never really talked: but during this event they gravitated back to each other throughout the evening, having the time of their life, slyly exchanging info and gossip. 

anyway! back to our dashing prince. so he goes to this gala without charlotte (who’s abroad, visiting family or a girl’s trip). jenson is a few steps behind him as always, he's talking to lewis, discussing the recent developments of lewis's sports charity.

and then a guy appears with two glasses of champagne, passing one to lewis with a quick kiss and a casual "it's vegan, i asked." and lewis huffs amusedly, leans closer to george and says "please excuse my husband, sir, he's german," like they are sharing a joke. and george has to work VERY hard on his eyebrows not shooting up to space. his husband. his HUSBAND. so casually. and he can’t ignore the proprietary hand with the glinting gold on lewis's waist. like it's allowed.

and then george has this reflexive internal slap - of course for other people maybe. insane that they’re just, out here, being - out. but good for them, obviously. it’s just not for him, whether he wants it or not. and anyway. however regal lewis looks in his red suit, he is a commoner. george should have noticed the ring on lewis’s finger or read the brief more carefully. he should’ve known. and then he and seb shake hands and the wedding band burns like a brand against george’s skin. 

he’s never? seen a gay couple at these events. or maybe he just didn’t notice but. unlikely. maybe they were better at keeping things under wraps because mr hamilton and mr vettel really are unbothered. seb asks the waiters about every single hors d'oeuvre: is it vegan? he disappears from time to time to chat with a policy advisor or a minister, his smile like a shark as he follows up about public policies promised but never delivered. and there’s of course live music in one of the corners and george has this horrible, open view of when lewis and seb are just about to leave and then lewis pulls seb close and leads him through a few steps, laughing easily. seb is a bit clumsy but gracious about it, kisses lewis’s fingers after and then they step out of the room, still holding hands.

[sunglassesmish]

Two ?s for you ❤️: 1) What do u think buck & dean would think of each other if they ever met? I've gleaned from your posts that buck is the most deanish of buck+eddie, right? What would the vibes be? (Inspired by your most recent buck gifset reblog) -- And 2) Do u think there's such a thing as a cocklesholic? Because I've spent so much time refreshing tumblr today trying to get a fresh hit of jenmishdee serotonin that my eyeballs hurt.😭 - your sister in cockles, who still doesn't even go here🚒

okay first of all these questions are amazing thank you 🥰

1. i definitely think buck is more like dean than eddie. first of all, buck’s issues with his parents run deep, they basically had him so they could use him to donate bone marrow (i think?) to their older sick son with leukemia. he’s never truly gotten over his issues with them, and they definitely do not understand his life/job choices.

dean doesn’t have the same issues but definitely still has parental problems (that’s putting it lightly). and there’s a scene of buck with his parents that’s similar to the one dean had with mary where he said ‘i hate you but i love you’

i headcanon buck and dean to both be adhd as you can tell by that post i reblogged of buck that you mentioned. buck is always one to be cooking for his fellow fire fighters and the captain (bobby) cooks for them a lot and just last week we had a scene where he asks him for cooking tips. and buck had a scene where he used one of bobby’s recipes to make something for eddie and his son christopher. so he makes food for the people he loves. and dean is very much the same, as we can see from all the times he cooks in the bunker and made that cake for jack on his birthday.

i realised i just ranted quite a bit and didn’t even answer your question 😅 so i think buck and dean would get along really well based on the things i just mentioned. they’d bond over cooking recipes and rant about their family and be generally chaotic together, looking to have fun. i do think they’d really like each other.

2. yes i definitely feel like there is such thing as a cocklesholic as you so perfectly put it!! i’ve spent more time thinking about cockles than i do destiel tbh. i’m supposed to be working on something but i too have spent so much time just waiting for another ‘hit’ but luckily, we have another jensen/danneel panel tomorrow. hopefully we get more amazing questions + answers!

[onlylaboum]

To be honest, I usually don't reblog your posts BECAUSE of the passive-aggressive tone you often use. It's just kpop. I like Laboum but it won't end my life if they're not world famous. I just want to enjoy music and stages and all their content happily, not create a second job for myself as their unseen manager. It's okay if that's how you stan and have fun but it's not for me.

I'm worried you'll answer this really angrily but I saw your recent post and wanted to let you know how some people might be feeling. I'll still be following for updates and gifsets and stuff! 💜

people were (also barely) liking instead of sharing my posts also before i expressed my frustration w this stuff so idt that's the issue.

on twitter i'm much more active nowadays bc at least there there's a few more active latte, but still very few compared to even other nugu groups that have similar numbers in streams.

i never said i liked spending so much time on LABOUM. i am aware i have an internet addiction and have been hyperfixating on the group to avoid stressing out about worse things in my daily life.

not just me but also other latte i talk to on twitter and tiktok are really fucking burned out from how much we try to do. i don't think being a stan should be a day job. i sure would love if people shared shit we post though instead of keep scrolling or give a like once a month, which does virtually nothing. we wouldn't have to stress out so much if people actually engaged with things we did. we try to encourage ppl to use apps to win youtube ads for Laboum (which worked but slowly, it's how we made Kiss Kiss finally reach 1 million views), we ask people to give feedback, to maybe watch a video or play a streaming playlist, or partake in a game, or to buy an album or share an MV with friends.

the way that a lot of people don't do that sht, the way that in MONTHS no new people have followed their twitter or youtube, the way that barely anyone talks about them online, does in fact signify that people don't care about Laboum. not everyone needs to be an active social media user or anything ofc, but this degree of lack of attention? unless when it's about a disbandment prediction, joking about the girls' horrible experiences at their expense, or fake interest in the group only on certain conditions, shit doesn't get attention.

the girls had viral tiktok videos a bunch of times, but the majority of the people watching have no fucking clue who they are or that they aren't just actors, and it's just me and 1 other Latte trying to respond to tired comments calling the members by names of characters they played, or "ZN" which is Jinyea's old stage name. if ONLY there were a few more Latte who would leave a comment or two for once as well, the few of us wouldn't have to deal with trying to inform the general public abt Laboum.

people not sharing shit abt LABOUM is one of the main reasons why so may ppl now think they disbanded, and why you see a bunch of kpop fans who claim they're a fan of LABOUM but have been out of the loop w them for 3-6 years. it doesn't help that their domestic fanbase consists of mainly loser incels who don't dare to fucking talk about the group unless when being petty about Yulhee or creepy about their bodies.

and i know tumblr kpop fans LOVE only looking at stupid fucking gifs and not clicking on the videos they're from, acting as if streaming is a fucking punishment from hell instead of just playing a fucking song or playlist you like in the background, and acting as if it's a shocker when groups aren't doing well when so fucking few people who pretend to be a fan actually listen to music or read or watch anything new or buy music. considering your purple heart use, you should KNOW how supporting musicians works. as much as i hate the competitiveness and commodity in the music industry, likes alone never helped artists.

so yeah i'm passive-aggressive bc im trying to fucking encourage people to do something more than say they like Laboum but never dare to mention their name nor recommend a song nor share anything about them. i wouldnt be so fucking frustrated if i saw some more hype aside from from clickbait content and gg stans who just namedrop them for edgy crappy jokes.

Laboum don't need to be world famous and i don't think they will be per se, but they are really unknown. unless people do something more than just quietly listen to them once every blue moon and don't engage in anything Latte are asking or encouraging people to do, they will remain as extremely unknown as right now and disband when their contracts end in summer 2023.

other Latte are feeling the same frustrations as i do and feel exhausted. anyone who knows Laboum's story and the international, knows how small it is and how frustrated we are. this shouldn't be a surprise if you've talked to any Latte. i am familiar with how reserved fans are in this fandom. when trying to set up projects before for their anniversaries, it ended with me and only 1 other Latte in a skype call, no communication from the rest, and them not daring to partake any projects or plans anymore. that felt really disappointing.

so no, i don't find fun in being so stressed and active in trying to promote LABOUM to such an extent bc me and a few others are trying to do work for multiple ppl and for free at that. but all we ask is basic stuff like 'please also share posts' or 'hey check out and share this new song cover'. it's already ridicilous i have to ask ppl to share posts bc they refuse to, whether i ask or not.

if that's too much work, are people really interested in the group???? the thing is also that if other people, at least a few more, do a little more than nothing, it would actually make more people discover the group on their own socials, become fans, and partake in fandom. we wouldn't be so burned out if there were more than like 5-20 accounts trying to do so much bc no one else will. e.g. we emailed the company to demand translators and it hired one, but then barely anyone watched LABOUM's newer youtube videos and so that was kind of abandoned too. no views or attention = a sign that people aren't interested = no new content. that's how it works.

[bitchmilsky]

Okay okay, listen. I’ve been wanting to come into your inbox and cry about how much these tags you left on my gifset mean to me but like. Just saying “hey, these mean the world to me” doesn't feel like enough!!! But they literally do!!! I apologize in advance cause I’m about to get all sappy but just. You are one of the very few people in my life where I’ve never had to question whether our friendship means the same to you as it does to me, so yeah I did start it like month and half before your birthday (I was determined to finish on time laksjdf) (but i also actually finished it two weeks early, and it literally took all of my willpower not to post it early aldkfj like I wanted you to see it SO badly but i also knew if I did that, you wouldn’t have something on your actual birthday so I stopped myself) but. Idk, I haven’t been able to reach out as much as I’d like to, but I knew that I could pour my whole heart into a gifset, so I did that and like. Just reblogging it once and saying thanks was more than enough but??? Those extra tags????? There are not words to describe how important they are to me!!!! I’ve reread them a billion times and I’ll reread them a billion more!!!! And i truly truly mean it when I tell you that you’re the little sibling I always wanted!!!!! and if there's some way for me to show you that through a gifset, than I will <3 Also, fun fact, there were so many iconic quotes i had to omit because the gifset would’ve been too long, but I was adamant about keeping “ray is so stupid” cause she’s right. He is alsdjk Anyway, sorry for coming into your inbox and being all messy and sappy but I love you and you mean a lot to me and just. Thank you for those tags 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕 (also, sorry for using the tiny font but i wanted to make my giant wall of text as small as possible alkdsjf)

so it appears we have the same issue bc. i have no idea how to say how much this ask means to me?????? ive been staring at it since yesterday trying to come up with an equally lovely response and Brain No Work but i love you so much and those tags were genuine and i appreciate u and ur my big sibling and i wish i knew u irl bc u could see me fumbling for words and get what im trying to say but when i get a car. Watch Out. anyway LOVE U IM CRYING OVER THIS ASK

[heretherebedork]

Are there any specific BL shows you would recommend to someone just getting into the genre?

Hmmm. This is always a hard one for me! Because there are so amazing ones but so many of them should come with warning and also if I start on the really good ones what happens when you finish those and realize the rest aren't that great?

Also, how do I give advice without knowing who I'm advising and their taste? That's the biggest issue for me with an 'intro course' because you never know what people like and don't like. There are people who hate every. single. show. I've recommended here.

Now, to clarify, I started on what I call the Netflix route. I watch The Untamed and then SOTUS and then found Viki and watched Love By Chance and that got me into the fandom. Would that work for everyone? Not a chance. But it just goes to show you that anything can get someone into a fandom if that's what they like.

So this is a list of BL shows i feel show the best of the industry... and a few on the list that are there because they show you what MOST of the industry is like as well. Take a sampling. Try a few shows. Don't limit yourself to any single country or genre. Sample.

There's SO much out there. You never know where your taste may take you. Search BL on My Drama List. Ask multiple people for where to get started. Look at gifsets on here and see what appeals. My taste may not be your taste, my idea of amazing may not be yours, my idea of the best of the best may not fit in with what you like.

So... ANYWAY. Disclaimer out of the way! Here's my list of where to start based on what I think is a good intro to BL itself through amazing shows and also trope-filled shows.

1. A Tale of A Thousand Stars: The story of a rich young man who needs a heart transplant, gets it from a young woman who was a volunteer teacher in a poor village and falls in love with one of the soldiers in the village. Absolutely lovely. Just fantastic. Gorgeous characters, amazing setting, fantastic story. Seriously. This will spoil you for a lot of lesser shows but if you start with it you'll know how good the genre can get.

2. Cherry Magic: Adachi is an office worker who considers himself awkward and boring and not very good at anything... until he turns 30, gains the power to read minds from being a virgin and discovers that the top worker at his office, Kurosawa, has a huge crush on him. The softest, sweetest, most gentle BL and just fantastic. Highest of the high recommendations. Seriously. A great place to start.

3. He's Coming to Me: Mes is a ghost. He's been dead for a long time. And Thun has been visiting, and seeing him, since he was a child. When Thun is going to University, he ends up taking Mes with him and their real adventure begins. Warning for death but holy shit is this one good. So good. Absolutely amazing and wonderful, plot-driven, a need to watch show.

4. Until We Me Again: WARNING: SUICIDE AND DEATH. In and Korn were forbidden lovers 30 years ago. Dean and Pharm dream of them every night and recognize each other on sight. Fate brings them together but can fate really lead to true love? An amazing show, absolutely beautiful, deep characters, deep plot, filled to the brim with emotion and highly recommended but heed the warning, okay?

5. Be Loved In House: I Do: When Shi Lei's new boss, Yu Zhen, takes over the jewelry store and introduces a rule that everyone working there must be single, Shi Lei is ready to throw hands for his friends. So what happens when he slowly finds himself falling in love with that strange man? This is just such a soft little show, filled with joy and softness and idiots. Absolutely a great place to start yourself on Taiwen BL.

6. All the Korean BL movies: I know that this is just a label but, like, literally all of these are soft and short and a great place to start to just get a feel for the shows coming out of Korea. Not as trope-y but just generally... good. ALWAYS watch the movie version.

Wish You: Tiny musician catches the eye of someone working for a record label

Where Your Eyes Linger: Bodyguard and the boy he guards

To My Star: Puppy movie star (who's more neurotic than he lets on) meets stiff chef (who's softer than he lets on)

Color Rush: In a world where a portion of the population can only see in shades of grey until they meet the person that lets them see in color... and are considered dangerous for this... a mono meet a probe. The best of the bunch!

Mr Heart: A marathon runner has stopped winning and another young man is hired to help him get back to winning. Honestly the weakest of these in my humble opinion.

Nobleman Ryu's Wedding: Historical Idiots being historically soft and historically stupid. That's is. Young man dresses as a woman to cover up that his sister ran away from an important marriage but the groom ends up loving him regardless.

7. Light on Me: A student who's never had a friend is convinced to at least give it a try and joins the student council where he meets a sweet young man, a jokester and an awkward and confrontational young man... and there's a lover triangle because what else would there be? Oh, this one is SO good and so soft and very emotional and sweet and has a fantastic love triangle and introduces you to tropes very smartly. Definitely a good place to slip into the genre and see how the tropes get played.

8. Ingredients: A chef lives with a musician and takes care of him every turn. Yes, it's an extended ad series. But it's also soft BL filled with every trope imaginable and it's a good place to just let yourself get used to Thai BL and how it feels.

9. Oxygen: When a rich young man who can't sleep finds himself at a coffee shop in the middle of the night, there's no way he expected to meet the love of his life. But when the barista offers him warm milk to help him sleep? He's lost. I put this one on here with a few reservations because there's a side pairing that is just horrible (skip all scenes with the doctors and the coffee shop coworker for your own good, okay?) but the rest of the show is just so good and so soft and I love it so much.

10. My Engineer: A sassy freshman meets a senior engineering student who is SERIOUSLY into getting sassed. A quiet introvert meets an extrovert who refuses to give up. One friend has been pining for years and has decided friendship is good enough. This one, again, goes on with reservations. It's a good start for getting into most of the more typical Thai BLs. Gives you the regular tropes, gives you the more typical relationship and friendship things... This is a good place to start if you want to be prepared for most of what you're going to watch, frankly.

There. I'll stop there. I think that's a good set. @absolutebl may have some more ideas? I kinda went basic on this list, no denials. And maybe a bit weird as well. No denials.

[redxblueihateloveyou]

how do you think rinharu will solve this issue? having rin stay in japan won't solve haru's abandonment issues and i wonder if competitive swimming is meant for haru, he seems to struggle a lot

Nah-ah, competitive swimming is not the problem here. He has the same amount of struggles with it as Rin and Ikuya. He actually as we saw in s3 surprisingly likes it a lot, and he was very excited about taking on Albert and he wasn't even upset about losing to him, he got worked up. It's like yeah, he takes pressure from others worse than Rin, but Rin for example is taking loses far worse than Haru. But this in fact doesn't mean they can't handle those. They both know that it's just how competitions are and they both knew what they were going for. And when Haru is happy, trash-talking opponents make him go lol and he just has his fun with this too.

The additional stress just simply unlocked the real reason why he's hurt. If it wasn't for this Rin thing he carries with him for like 10 years this would be nothing. Stress from the competition, but more specifically the fact that Albert kinda took away his main stress-relief by "polluting" the water just gave it a rise, but it's not the cause of that. Thinking of Rin easily resolved the "water pollution", letting him pass the free race. It's watching Rin lose and taking it this way that just triggered his ptsd.

The problem was and is what Aki said back when they were little “Nanase-kun seems like he can do anything all by himself, doesn’t he? He’s good at studying and sports and even art. He really can do anything, right? That’s why everyone relies on him, but it would really be something for Nanase-kun to rely on anyone, wouldn’t it?”

It's the fact that he feels too much, feels for everyone and his inability to ask for help in this case from the only person who can help him and from whom he needs it the most.

The problem is that last year when Hiyori decided to laugh about Rin leaving him into his face, rubbed salt into his deepest wound, Haru in return only gave him positive energy, swam with him, gave him happy Ikuya back and watched them being happy while smiling. Did Hiyori maybe say that he didn't mean those words? No. Did someone else the moment he said it corrected him? No. Where do you think stuff like this go?

The problem is that s1 drama was resolved just for Rin. It was never resolved for Haru. It's been just piling up for like 7 years now. I once again will say it, Rin only told Rei that none of that was Haru's fault, Haru still to this day thinks it is.

As for the second part, in my opinion, this isn't quite just about his abandonment issues, it's about his Rin issue. Bc it really doesn't matter if he's in Japan or not in Japan, in a free race or not in a free race (bc whether Rin chose to swim free or not, Rin is right there, and they can still be on a relay team together, and travel together etc). This is only partially about his fear of him leaving.

The problem here is that for Haru it's never enough. When everything was fine and he could swim against Rin and had a great relay team of his friends, he wasn't satisfied.

Rin was near the whole season, he still missed him.

They spent whole days alone together, was that enough? No. He still didn't want him to leave.

But saying stuff like "I know we came here to support our kohais, but please, don't leave, sit with me, not with them" is selfish, no matter how much you want it.

Here he is right next to him. Still not enough.

My point is.. thats not what this is about and I'm pretty sure that's not what Haru's talking about. It's bc he always does everything to stay with him for as long as possible, but Rin is blind as a bat and deaf as a doornail.

And I don't really know what else you can say in some situations. Bc like when Rin spent the night at Haru's and Haru asked him to wake him up at 5am just to spend more time with him Rin answered with something like "hahaha that's great, good night".

And I will never in general understand how Rin even translates what Haru says. Bc when Haru asked him to call, Rin read it as "let me disappear for 5 years, go home for each holiday and avoid you like a plague".

And this outburst of "the greatest pain of my life is when you leave" was read as "let me just leave again".

The problem is Haru tried and tried to ask and show things in many different ways (which was pretty hard considering how he is), but couldn't ask directly for what he really wanted for obvious reasons. And no joke, there is a chance that Rin still wouldn't get it even if he did.

Rationally I think the resolve would be pretty simple, Rin will just enter the free race, bring him back and they'll talk after that.

It's just that with the way this set up right now, for Haru to be happy... I only see one option for how this talk can go, that I always was sure this anime can't give us. But then again I also do not quite get why even go there then.

I guess what I mean is with all my imagination I can't understand how he can ask for help in this situation, except for like I wrote here to ask him "just... be with me. I really need you to just be with me." If he already admitted how much it hurt him each time he left, idk what he's supposed to say at this point.. "please, stay and love me"? also "please, tell me what happened all those years ago isn't my fault" (he won't, bc he thinks it is), "please tell me you painfully missed me each time you were away too" (not to this extent, no, at least first times)?

What I personally want is same thing as in a fic for Rin to ask him to just tell him the truth, ask him to "please, I need you to talk". Gradually, step by step, from the beginning, all that's been eating him up all this years. Just to please tell Rin everything, so he could honestly reassure him, clear up all their misunderstandings, just TALK.

Bc if he let it all out, Rin can easily erase all of Haru's doubts and that nonsense that he is the reason why Rin never stays, that he was the reason he left in the first place etc, and eradicate the root of the problem, after this Haru would stop reacting to each time Rin leaves for a grocery store as if it's WW3.

P.S. I honestly think everyone should just go turn on Sam Smith - My Oasis and cry with Haru, bc this is probably the closest it can come to explain how he feels and just the whole mood for this situation rn. Like I've made a gifset to this a while ago, but rn the whole song is just super on point.

P.P.S. what I'm saying shortly is we all know how you can stop Haru's struggles easily, but what they would come up with hell if I know.