#never reading txt fics again

[sunohws]

YALL WILL NEVER CATCH ME ON WATTPAD AGAIN.. THE WAY THE AUTHOR HAD TO CLARIFY THEY DIDNT MEAN IT IN A DIRTY WAY IS SO FUNNY TO ME 😭😭😭 I JS WANTED TO READ A CUTE CAT HYBRID TXT FIC AND THIS IS WHAT I GET. LORD. ITS SUPPOSED TO BE SAD BUT LIKE. WHY..

this is not meant to be hate i js found it funny. cus why is gyu trying to lick my face

[strangerstilinski]

friendly reminder that if your fav authors on here delete their blogs one day, fics in your likes are *POOF* gone but fics you've reblogged are saved to your blog, always available to be read in the future!!

so reblog fics you like! don't just let them pile up in your likes!

[enwrites]

Summer Lovin' (l.hs) – Part One

pairing: ex childhood friend!heeseung x afab!reader 

warning: 18+ MDNI !! (not really proofread so sorry for mistakes)

genre/cw: smut, sexual tension, degradation, fingering, male masturbation, vulgar language, suppressed emotions, asshole!heeseung, very slight basketballplayer!heeseung here, crack, slow burn kinda, jealousy, angst, teen romance, slice of life, you cry a lot, heeseung is very annoying, lots of throwing up is mentioned, enha members (02z & sunoo), aespa members (karina & ningning), mentions of beomgyu txt

synopsis: you and heeseung were super close as kids. being the same age and your parents being best friends, you had no other choice but to be each other’s best friends as well. that was until heeseung’s family moved to another town causing a rift to get in between the both of you. never being able to fully recover from the past, what happens when they move back and old feelings start to emerge? you just knew this was going to be a long summer.

wc: 13.2k words

a/n: part one is officially here!! this was just mainly a build up for the story so i apologize if it's a little lacking. part two will def have more to it and juicier smut so pls bare with me! i still hope part one is still enjoyable <3 happy reading and again, all feedback is appreciated :) (+ lmk if you'd like to be added to my taglist for this fic or my perm!)

[ series m.list ] [ main m.list ] [ part two ]

You let out a sigh of content.

Having just graduated, your senior year finally came to an end. Your last summer before college has just started. Bittersweet feelings linger in your heart as you realize your highschool chapter is over. Scrolling through your camera roll, you reminisce on old memories and experiences. Giggling to yourself finding pictures you had thought you forgot about. Most captured you and your three best friends. Karina, Ningning, and Sunoo.

The four of you have done just about everything together and you couldn’t wait to get your summer rolling, especially as Sunoo wouldn’t be joining you guys in college just yet. You cursed at the world, he was just a year younger than you all. It wasn’t like you guys were going to be separated anyways, he was your next door neighbor, his family having moved in right after Heeseung’s family left. 

Heeseung… your mind starts to fill up with childhood memories. You couldn’t help but wonder how he was and what he was doing. You turn your head to the side. There on your nightstand sat a hello kitty framed picture of you and Heeseung at the town’s fair. You picked it up, holding it in your hands as you reminisced on your younger days. The two of you being shy of 12 years old, the summer before he left. The picture showcasing the two of you plastered with huge smiles eating funnel cake. You giggle a bit thinking about the events that occurred that day. Your mind couldn’t help but wander to one specific moment.

For some reason both of your parents allowed you two to ride the ferris wheel alone. Your face falls a bit as you start to remember. You wish things had never changed then maybe Heeseung would still be as close to you… maybe he would’ve kept his promise like he said.

“We’ll wait right here for you guys, okay?” Your mom says, ushering you both to the ferris wheel line. Excited bubbled inside the both of you as you two finally were getting to spend a ride alone without having a parent chaperone. Hearty laughs leave the both of you as you enter the ride, sitting across from one another. The sun was finally setting, leaving a sun kissed color in its path. You knew you’d remember this forever.

“The sky is so pretty Hee!” You excitedly said, taking the disposable camera your parents had bought you out of your little hello kitty purse, capturing the sky from your view. Heeseung watched you with so much adoration. He couldn’t help but smile at your actions, loving every second he spent with you. After getting your little picture, you put the camera back into your bag and turn to look at him, a smile permanently etched onto your face as well. 

“Yeah— just like you,” Heeseung bluntly says, eyes never leaving yours. Your face starts to heat up and you look away from him. You had always had a crush on Heeseung, everyone knew that. Your heart pounds against your chest, you want to throw up everywhere. What you didn’t realize was that everyone also knew how much Heeseung liked you. Your little puppy love could be seen and felt from miles away. “I like you Y/n,” he continues, breaking the tension.

“I like you too Hee–,” he cuts you off. “No I really like you Y/n,” he sternly said, leaning into you. Even being across from one another, you felt suffocated, the ferris wheel capsule was extremely small you noticed. You wanted to run away. this had to be a dream right? 

“I do too Hee,” you whispered back at him. The ride comes to a halt, you were at the very top. Your face red as can be, you were waiting for him to laugh saying this was all a joke. But he didn’t. He leans in even closer and that’s when you felt it. He took your first kiss. Your eyes went wide. For a moment you felt like you were floating amongst the stars. He pulls away, giggling at your reaction as a blush painted his face as well.

“We are going to be together forever Y/n, I promise and I'm going to marry you! And we’re going to have a big house and our very own hamster and even a cat! I know you really love cats but I really want a hamster!” he rambled holding your hands as his eyes never left yours again. Your heart was so full you felt like you were going to explode from joy. At that time, it was you and him against the world. 

Forever you had hoped. Small tears formed as you remember the day he moved. Forever was long gone. You wish the world had helped Heeseung keep his promise. The heart shattering memory played in your head. You have tried for years to forget. But can anyone really forget their first love?

“D-Do you really have to go Hee…,” you choked out as tears fell down your face. Your parents gave you both some time to say goodbye to one another as they packed the last of the Lee’s things into their moving truck. The tears kept falling and falling. He reached his hand to your face, wiping them away. His heart shattered that day, he didn’t think his parents were serious. But slowly things were being packed up until this very day and he knew he had to say goodbye eventually.

“I’m sorry Y/n… I have no choice… please don’t cry,” he says to you, your sobs intensify. It was his time to cry as well, tears fell from his eyes as he watched you, this was never a sight he enjoyed. 

“We’ll call all the time, okay? I’ll make sure we do, remember what I said Y/n! I’m going to marry you!” he choked out. “We’ll be like Hello Kitty and Dear Daniel Y/n… I promise, I’ll make sure my parents let us visit, okay?” he rambled on more. Pulling you into a tight hug, he let you cry on him as he wiped his tears away, holding you one last time. You didn’t know it was going to be the last time. You pull away, wiping away your snot and tears. 

“I-I have something for you,” you stuttered, feeling overwhelmed as you pull out a little charm and a tiny picture of the two of you. Before you could say anything, the two of you were cut off as Heeseung’s mother spoke up, letting you two know they had to leave in a few minutes. Your tears always came rushing back but you held them in. You hand him the picture and a charm. A small smile crept its way to his face. There in your hands was a tiny little hamster charm accompanied by a pocket sized photo of the two of you from the ferris wheel, giggling as he remembered how you guys attempted to try and take photos together with your little camera, hoping the pictures came out well.

“I have a matching one!” you said, pulling out another hamster charm except yours pink and his gray. He pulls you into another tight hug, never wanting it to end. 

“Don’t forget me Hee…,” you sadly uttered, his heart breaking right there and then. How could he forget you? 

“I’ll never forget you Y/n, I mean everything I said!” He pulled you away giving you a stern look. You give him a weak smile, your heart feeling like it was never going to feel better.

“Just promise me Hee,” you softly spoke, sticking your pinky out. “I promise Y/n,” he links his pinky with yours, the two of you pressing your thumbs together, solidifying it. And with that, the two of you make your way to his driveway, as your parents called for the both of you. Your families say their last goodbye, promising to keep in contact and to visit. With one last final hug goodbye, they make their way into the truck. Pulling out of what was once their driveway and onto the road, Heeseung waved goodbye from the window up until the truck was out of sight.

You broke down. Your parents consoling you as your never ending tears kept falling down your face. You never really knew what heartbreak really felt like but you knew for damn sure this had got to be it. There you were, inconsolable as your first love headed away for a new town.

You didn’t realize how badly you were really crying. Puddles of tears trickled all onto the frame you held. No promise was kept as the months went by and your contact slowly started to dwindle. The Lee's getting too busy with business trips and Heeseung making new friends and joining so many after school clubs. The Lee’s never visited since then. Your mother telling you they just had a lot on their plate and that they’d make time eventually. 

That was when the silence came.

Heeseung eventually stopped calling. The fantasy of that little house of yours being taken away by a tornado, forever ripped apart and shattered. The only time you heard or saw anything having to do with him was the year you got gifted your very first phone at the start of freshman year. Your mother had reached out to the Lee’s to give them your phone number. He added you on snapchat from his contacts, never once even starting a conversation with you. You never dared to attempt as well. Too many days had passed and you just couldn’t bring yourself to it. You were just glad to see he was alive and well, even if he never used the app. He never posted anything. Hell, he watched your stories for a week and abandoned the app, never once seeing him appear again.

Before you could get deeper into your thoughts and feelings, there was a knock at your bedroom door. 

“Y/n~ are you up yet? Your mom told me to come up here,” you heard a voice from outside your door speak. Sunoo. You sniffled and wiped all your tears away as best as you could, setting the little frame back to its rightful place beside your bed. “Y-yeah I’m up!” you yelled back, hoping you didn’t look as bad as you thought you did. Sunoo opens your door, taken aback by your red puffy face and eyes. 

“Were you thinking about him again?” He softly asked, joining you in your bed giving you a sad frown. He knew about Heeseung, you practically made his life a living hell the day his family moved in next door yelling nonsense about how he will never be Heeseung. He knew how much he meant to you and oftentimes he’d catch you looking at old photos with tear stained eyes. No matter how many boys you kissed and dated, you just never seemed to be able to move on. He was gonna fix that for you this summer. No more crying over Heeseung. Sunoo was on a mission now.

“Maybe…,” you weakly said followed by a sniffle. You were embarrassed to say the least. You hated how he had this effect on you. No matter how many boys you’ve been with, Heeseung was over there in the back of your mind. Even the time you lost your virginity to the school’s hottest boy Beomgyu, you couldn’t help but secretly wish it was always Heeseung. It was sickening and you knew he didn’t care for you anymore but for some reason you couldn't get him out of your head. You tried your best to suppress your feelings but you knew it was always going to be there. 

Sunoo groaned, throwing his head back, tired of seeing you this way. He hated seeing you sad and he especially hated seeing you hung up over some boy you liked as a kid. You were grown now and he was going to make you get out there and forget about Heeseung. 

“Y/n this is your last summer before college, we have got to get some new eye candy,” Sunoo says into your face, shaking you dramatically. “You have got to get over this dude Y/n! It’s been five years! YOU WERE A KID,” He exclaims, rolling his eyes. You sighed, hanging your head low. Sunoo had a point. You have got to try harder.

“You’re right…,” you let out. Putting his hand on his chest with a shocked expression plastered onto his face, he looked at you with his mouth hung open. No way you were finally agreeing with him on this matter.

“I’m gonna take this as a sign to completely come to the conclusion that we will never see each other again,” you glumly uttered. Yes your heart hurt but it was simply the truth. He ghosted you the year after he moved. You needed to get him out of your head once and for all. 

“Well… let’s start with that picture right there,” Sunoo points to the frame beside your bed. You frown. You shook your head a little, reaching over to the frame and just setting it faced down. Baby steps you told yourself. Sunoo lets out an exhausted sigh. Some things he just needed to be more patient with.

“I’ll let you pass with that one for now, now get your butt up and go get changed and ready! If you haven’t seen what Rina said in the chat, she wants to go downtown to shop and eat! So let’s get up! They’re waiting!” It was your turn to groan as he ripped your blanket off of you and dragged you out of your bed, literally.

You were ready to finally get rid of Heeseung. For good.

“Finally you’re here!” you heard a familiar voice shout as you walked into the designated brunch spot you frequented. You spotted your friend Karina waving for your attention next to Ningning. You and Sunoo make your way over, sitting across from the two. “Took you two long enough! I’m starving,” Ningning muttered, picking up the menu to flip through.

“Sorry! We could’ve come sooner but someone had a problem starting with Hee and ending with Seung,” Sunoo said to them. They both gave you a small eye roll. 

“Y/n you have got to get over him,” Karina said, looking down at the menu in her hand. “It’s been literal years babe,” she added.

“Yeah, I still can’t believe you turned down Beomgyu, he was literally in love with you after you both… you know,” Ningning trailed on. You cringe at the memory. Just after losing your virginity to him, Beomgyu started to get clingy real fast, constantly texting you every second of the day, walking you to all of your classes, wanting to be with you even after school, giving you zero time to yourself. Of course you were fine with those things as you were interested in him at first too. But every single day? You couldn’t take it any longer. It was exhausting the way he love-bombed you. 

“Yeah why did you ever end it with him anyways,” Sunoo spoke up, not remembering the details. 

“Because, he was creepy and weird and even if the sex was good, I felt suffocated, PLUS he said Hello Kitty was stupid…,” you said, reminding them, your cheeks turning red from embarrassment as you admitted the last part. No one was gonna hate Hello Kitty and get away with it.

“You are something else…,” Karina said back, shaking her head. They knew how much Hello Kitty meant to you and that was surely something they did not wanna mess with. Before anyone else could speak, the waitress came by to take your order. This was going to be a long day. You ordered a creme brûlée french toast and a caramel iced coffee. Heeseung loved french toast too, you remembered. 

Boy was this going to be a long summer for you.

“Anywaysss, this summer is project “hot girl summer” for miss Y/n over here,” Sunoo breaks the ice. You roll your eyes as a smile crept onto your face. You couldn’t help but feel immense happiness, thinking about how your friends cared for your well being. You felt so lucky that the world had brought the four of you together. They were your entire world. You probably wouldn’t have made it this far if it weren’t for them. 

“Good because I wanna head to the mall and get some new clothes. Perfect timing! We have got to get you sexier things to wear!” Ningning exclaims excitedly. Something inside of you couldn’t help but get a bit excited. You were ready for a change and you were ready to get rid of Heeseung once and for all.

But you couldn’t help but feel as if something bad were going to happen.

You shake the thought off and you engage into whatever conversation your friends are having, laughing your heart away. You had to make this last summer count.  

After about what seems to be almost an hour and a half, you and your friends head to the mall. Thankfully, everything downtown was in walking distance so you didn’t have to worry about Sunoo having to find parking once more.

Walking into the mall, you guys entered the first clothing store you saw.

“First of all, we gotta get you some lingerie or something, you cannot keep wearing all of those Hello Kitty underwear you have,” Karina judgingly said. 

“Heyyy! They’re cute,” you offendly spit back with a pout. “Again, surprised Beomgyu even gave you some dick after seeing— OUCH!” Ningning yelps in pain as you smack her arm. She rubs the inflicted area, trying to soothe herself. 

“Yeah you cannot expect to get laid like that anymo— OW!” you smacked Sunoo next before he could say anymore. Without realizing, Karina was already filling up a little basket full of matching sets for you. You couldn’t help but feel embarrassed. Were your Hello Kitty underwear really that bad? Your thoughts were disrupted by Sunoo as he called for your name, holding up a few mini skirts. 

“Try these on right now,” he said, pushing the skirts into your hands as Ningning followed suit with some tops and dresses. Already pushing you into the nearest dressing room, they demanded a fashion show. Meanwhile, Karina was hand picking the best lingerie she could find for you, making her way to the checkout, keeping her selections a surprise. Your friends were insane people.

Finally, from hours spent in the mall, you guys were ready to make your way home. The sun was finally setting as you four walked back into the direction of the restaurant your day had started at. With your hands full of bags, you swore you’re never going to spend this much money in one go again. “It was for a good cause,” you hear Ningning's earlier statement fill your mind. 

Was this really going to help? You couldn’t help but feel doubts within you as the thought of Heeseung came crawling back into your head.

The sunset was the same sunkissed colors of red and pink that day you shared at the fair. This was getting pathetic. He doesn’t care about you anymore. 

“Alright, we’re here, thank you guys for helping me with this case,” Sunoo spoke up, opening his trunk to put your bags away. Karina and Ningning smile at you, giggles escaping everyone’s mouths as you all take in the moment. It was days like this you all appreciated each other more.

“No worries, plus I cannot wait for you to see the lingerie, you’re gonna love them!” Karina excitedly squeals, pulling you into a tight hug. She leans into your ear whispering “send pics,” pulling away and giving you a sly wink. Hitting her shoulder, you shake your head with a toothy smile. 

You guys say your last goodbyes as Karina and Ningning make their way to Karina’s car, you and Sunoo pull away, making your way back home. Man was it convenient for him as he lived right next to you. 

“By the way, my mom just texted and asked if you wanted to stay for dinner tonight, she said there are surprise guests?” you asked puzzled. “What is Ice Spice going to be there or something?” Sunoo asks back laughing. You joined in. “Actually, she won’t tell me who it is so we’ll see… so are you down for dinner?” you asked again.

“Sorry not tonight, I already agreed to have dinner with my grandparents today,” Sunoo replied back. You were bummed as meeting new people always made you anxious. “But I’m free other than that so tomorrow we can do something again?” He asks. You nod your head telling him it was okay.

As you guys turn down onto your street, a boy on a bike passes by, catching your eye as he looks at you for a second, riding past Sunoo’s car. There was something oddly so familiar about him. 

“Woah, cute guy… never seen him before, hope we see him again, maybe he could give you some action,” Sunoo piped up as he pulled into his driveway. You smacked his shoulder earning a dramatic yelp from him.

“Yeah… let’s see,” you said back, rolling your eyes as Sunoo helped you gather your things, walking you across the lawn to your house. He gives you a little hug and tells you to tell your parents he said “hi” before making his way back to his house. You opened your door and was immediately met with laughter and some distinctly familiar voices. Yet your head couldn’t quite pinpoint it. The door opening catches the attention of your mother.

“Y/n? Is that you? Hurry in!” she shouts from the kitchen, sounding a bit impatient. “Hold on! I have to bring things upstairs real quick, I’ll be back down!” you shouted back and ran upstairs. Walking into your room, you threw all of your bags into your closet, making a mental note to put them all away later and to try on the things Karina picked out for you. Without a second thought, you ran back down, curious as to who your mother was talking about. 

Heading towards the kitchen, your steps come to a halt.

Were you hallucinating or were Mr. and Mrs. Lee standing right before you? 

“Oh my Y/n— you’ve gotten so grown up and beautiful, I may just cry! Come give me a hug!” Mrs. Lee spoke up, one hand covering her mouth to hold back tears and the other extended to pull you into a hug. “It’s been so long, how have you been Y/n?” Mr. Lee asks you, it was his turn to pull you into a hug. Still stunned, you thought this was a dream. This had to be some sick and twisted dream. 

“I’ve been okay, you know… just graduated and stuff,” you shyly said, suddenly getting anxious. Does this mean Heeseung was here too?

“Yes! We are so sorry for not staying in touch, oh how we wish so much to have stayed here but Mr. Lee’s new job required so much traveling!” Mrs. Lee spoke up, sadness filled her tone. 

“Oh no worries, life happens, it’s wonderful to see you guys, are you two just visiting?” you asked, taking a seat at the dining table, looking at them. They had visually aged but they were still the same sweet couple you remember them to be. 

“There’s something we have to tell you guys actually…,” Mrs. Lee trailed on, a sheepish smile on her face. She looked at her husband and looked back at us. “You tell them honey!” she excitedly demanded, seeming a bit giddy. Mr. Lee gives a gummy smile.

“We moved back into the neighborhood!” He shouts. Your parents both let out an “oh my god” as everyone was shockingly surprised. Your father getting excited that his cooking buddy was back and your mother getting excited now that she has someone other than you to gossip about the neighborhood. 

“Oh my god, that’s so fun! What made you guys come back?” you asked, your interest piqued as you genuinely wanted to know. It’s been five or so years since they last moved. 

“Well, Heeseung actually got into a college here, so we decided to move back and settle,” Mrs. Lee said. “Hmm what was the school name again?” she turns to her husband and asks.

“Decelis University honey, you’re always forgetting,” he laughs. 

Your heart fell to your ass. Your mouth hung open, a visible reaction of surprise shown on your face. No way this was real… you had to be dreaming. Before you can speak up, your father beats you to it.

“Oh? That’s where Y/n is going! That’s so exciting, you hear that Y/n? You and Heeseung can be friends again!” your father joyfully claimed. “Speaking of Heeseung, where is the boy?” your mother asks. 

“He should be here soon, he went on a bike ride before we left to see if anything changed around here. I’m sure he remembers where the house is!” Mrs. Lee speaks up. Bike… riding?

Oh no.

The realization comes crashing down onto you, you already have seen Heeseung. You wanted to throw up right there and then, this could not be happening right now. All of your emotions start rushing back to you as you excuse yourself to leave. Your mother sees your discomfort and follows you out of the kitchen a few minutes later. You make your way out heading towards your room, needing to sit down. Taking deep breaths in and out, your heart felt like it was going to collapse any moment. Your tears come flooding back the same they did this morning. Your breathing increases and you start to hyperventilate.

Was that really him? This can’t be happening, not right now.

Your heart felt as if someone just ripped it out of your chest and through it into oncoming traffic. No matter how much you wipe your tears away, they just keep coming back. Your head shoots up. There was a soft knock at your door. Your mother opens it, a weak smile showcasing on her face. She shuts the door softly, taking small steps towards you.

Your mother had always known how much you liked Heeseung. Your father always thought it was just mere puppy love, thinking you’d move on eventually. I mean who wouldn’t have? You two were only just kids. But your mother knew better. She always did.

The following days after the Lee's departure, she remembered having to hold you in her arms for hours as you hysterically cried thinking about the boy. The following months after, she knew you were still affected despite you telling her you were okay. She’d always occasionally catch you crying, hearing faint sounds of sniffles coming from your room. She always made sure to make your favorite desserts or meals to cheer you up, subtly letting you know she was always here for you. You knew you always worried her so you tried your best to suppress the feelings. But moms know best.

Sitting down on your bed next to you, she wraps her arm around your shoulder, pulling you into a tight hug. You lean your head onto her shoulder as your tears continuously stream down your face. Leaning her chin on top of your head, she hums into your hair to calm you down just a bit. 

“Hey baby, it’s going to be okay, I promise… do you want me to tell the Lee’s an excuse so that they can go home? We don’t have to do this if you aren’t ready yet,” she softly said in an almost whisper-like tone as she rocked you a little from side to side. You shook your head. You knew you had to face him one way or another, you mind as well get it over with. 

“I-I’m okay…,” you hiccuped trailing off. She laughs a little. “Are you sure? I can really make an excu–,” cutting her off you chuckle, wiping your snot filled face and tears away. Your mother was always like this. She was always willing to do whatever it took to make you feel at ease. You couldn’t have been more thankful for having such a wonderful mother in your life. 

“Sunoo said it was “mission forget about Heeseung” summer, so that’s what I'm gonna do,” you let out, untangling yourself from your mother’s arm, sitting back up. You wipe off the non existent dust off your skirt, hoping your mother would understand. She lets out a heavy sigh.

“If this is what you want, you know I’m always going to support you and whatever you choose to do– but I will be checking on you even more than usual, got it?” she sternly ends, squinting her eyes at you as she gives you a harsh point almost scolding you a bit. You both break out into a fit of laughter. 

“Well, whenever you’re ready to come back down, the Lee’s will be joining us for dinner tonight– if that’s oka–,” you cut her off once more. “Mom, it's okay!” you dramatically sighed. “Heeseung is nothing to me now! I just threw him out the window in my mind,” you giggle picturing the scene. Your mother shakes her head, a huge smile plastered on her face listening to your silly thoughts.

“Whatever you say Y/n~ The boy should be here soon, so get cleaned up and make sure you look good! Show him what he’s been missing out on!” She excitedly lets out, giving you a kiss on the cheek. She heads to your door, but before leaving she turns her head back giving you a sly wink, then shutting the door. Her footsteps slowly disappear in sound as she goes down the stairs. You stand up, walking towards your vanity. Sitting on the seat in front of the mirror, you sighed heavily. 

You looked insane. Eyeliner everywhere and your hair a mess. You put on a smile as you get on to working on your makeup once again. Fixing your wings and making sure to add your touch of glitter, you finish off with a clear gloss on your lips. You brush your hair out, making sure it was neat enough and definitely didn’t look like you were just crying your heart out. Thankfully, your oh so dear best friend Kim Sunoo, bought you some eye drops not too long ago, making sure you never walk out with red eyes ever. He knew the amount you cried no matter how much you tried to defend yourself. Some day you knew it’d come in handy.

Well today was the day that’s for sure. 

You grab the eye drops, squeezing a few drops into both eyes, carefully blinking them in, hoping they wouldn’t mess your eyeliner up. You set it down, looking once more into the mirror for a final check. To your surprise, your face didn’t look as puffy as you thought it was. Thank you for the wonders of makeup. Satisfied with how you look, you walk to your closet, standing in front of your full length mirror beside it. You check yourself out, taking note that your outfit seemed cute enough already. 

You had on a sort of short light purple pleated skirt, paired with a simple black corset crop top and sheer thigh high stockings. Was this too much? Again, Sunoo did help you pick the outfit out earlier as, in his words, this makes you look “sexy yet cute” and will “attract all the single boys in our area.” Feeling the need to cover up just a tad bit more, you open your closet to grab an oversized, cropped, black cardigan to wear over your top. That should be enough. Giving yourself one last look, you walk out of your bedroom door, happily humming to yourself as you skip down the stairs, going back to where your parents and the Lee’s were. Catching the attention of both sets of parents, they all looked at you as you stood at the kitchen doorway. You give a tiny wave, an awkward smile on your face. You walk to the dining table, pulling a seat out to sit next to your mother. Mrs. Lee catches your attention.

“Oh Y/n sweetie, are you okay? Your mother says you weren’t feeling too well,” she concernedly asked you. A chuckle leaves your lips. 

“Don’t worry Mrs. Lee, I’m okay! Just something going on with my friends,” you lied, smiling back. Your parents definitely knew you were lying and Mrs. Lee couldn’t help but wonder if her own suspicions were true as well. Deep down, she knew how much your friendship with her own son meant to you. She also couldn’t help but feel guilty for how you both drifted apart, always thinking she should’ve convinced her husband to stay in this neighborhood a little harder. “Well, Heeseung should be here any minute now, food’s about done.”

You take a deep breath in, mentally preparing yourself. Maybe you weren’t ready for this. It was a little too late now though… plus you didn’t wanna ruin your parents excitement having their close friends back in town. You loved your parents and there was nothing more you wanted but to see them happy as well, no matter how much you were hurting inside. But man did you have a lot to tell your friends later. Your deep thoughts are soon broken as your dad speaks up.

“Oh Y/n! The Lee’s wanted to know if you wanted to come to their house this weekend for a barbeque party?” You nervously giggle as you weren’t really sure what to say. “You can invite your friends as well! Your parents have told us how close you were with the Kim’s son next door,” Mrs. Lee speaks up. Your palms start to clam up and your heart starts racing. 

“Y-Yeah… sure I’d be happy to go, I’ll let my friends know! Thank you,” you shakily let out. Both of the Lee’s nod as your mom gives a single happy clap, filled with immense joy. “Perfect! And you’ll make your famous tiramisu right?” your mother grins, nudging you with her elbow. Shaking your head with a grin, you couldn’t help but agree. “Ooh Y/n you make sweets now? You’ve always had such a big sweet tooth,” Mrs. Lee said. 

“Oh she sure does, wait till you try some of her macarons!” your mother exclaims dramatically, slamming her palm onto the table for a little smack sound effect. The two women get up filled with laughter, as they start to help prepare the table for dinner. “Do you guys need any help?” you asked, getting up from your seat.

The doorbell rings, catching everyone’s attention. “Y/n dear, could you grab the door? That should be Heeseung,” Mrs. Lee sweetly spoke up, hands filled with plates and utensils. “Uh… yeah… sure,” you sighed out, heart pounding against your chest. You definitely really weren’t ready for this. Again, that same bubbling feeling started to rise, you swear you were about to throw up right there all over the dinner that was being set onto the table. Surely this couldn’t be bad– right?

Making your way out the kitchen, you softly walked to the door. Your steps suddenly feel like you're walking on a floor full of hot lava. You oh so desperately wished you could just disappear into thin air right now. Please world, let you spontaneously combust with no trace of your well-being. As your body trembles a bit, you take in a deep breath as you shakily reach for the door, unlocking the lock and twisting the knob. That french toast from earlier fighting the urge to regurgitate right onto your floor. You pull the door open, confirming the sight you saw earlier from Sunoo’s car. 

Lee Heeseung in the flesh. 

Exactly how you saw him earlier in the day, clad in his gray hoodie and black jeans, bike leaning on the side of your porch. He tucks his phone back into his pocket, looking up to see who was appearing before him. The two of you lock eyes. He looks you up and down, taking in your appearance. He surely looked different, you thought. He no longer wore his glasses, his face was heavenly defined, and he grew to insane heights, towering over you. He had to be at least six foot tall you thought… yeah he was huge. You couldn’t help but feel butterflies in your stomach, you were sure that you were attracted to him. You swear you could just faint any minute now. Without a care or a single word being spoken, he pushes past you, making his way into your house and into your kitchen.

What the fuck? 

Taken aback, you close the front door, locking it behind you. A frown worn on your face as you try to take in what just happened. Following not too far behind him, you hear your parents excitedly yell his name. Appearing before you in the kitchen, you see him giving your parents both a hug, a small smile plastered onto his face. He wasn’t being serious right? It felt as if he was trying his hardest to ignore your presence. You held back your disappointment as tears desperately wanted to fall from your eyes. This effect he had on you was pathetic.

Now feeling offended as you watch them all engage in conversation, you make your way back to your seat at the dining table. You let out a huff, just waiting for this day to come to an end. Aside from his shitty attitude, you couldn’t help but think about the way he surely did grow into all of his features. Though he sported the same black hair he has always had, you couldn’t help but think how cute and fluffy it still looked, or the way his doe-like eyes still sparkled when you looked at them. 

Well to you they still sparkled.

You also couldn’t help but think about how it’d feel like to have him enclosing you against the wall, towering over you or picturing yourself sitting on his lap as he held you with his big hands, making out with you. You squeeze your thighs together, naughty things fill your mind as a blush crept onto your cheeks. 

What was wrong with you? Why were these thoughts filling up your mind? Before getting a little too flustered, you were brought back into reality as the chair across from you was being pulled out to be sat on. You look up, there Heeseung took a seat. He catches your eyes again, an uninterested look on his face. You simply look away. His aura felt suffocating. He was making you feel so small in your own home. It was sickening.

But man was the so fucking hot. Puberty had done him well that’s for sure. Your mothers sensed awkward tension between the two of you as they brought the food out to be set. Your fathers take their seats at both ends. Your mother takes a seat next to you and his mother next to him. Pouring yourself a glass of water from the pitcher your moms had prepared for the table, your throat feeling drier than ever, you gulp down nearly half of your cup. As you all settle in a bit, you start to dig into your meal. Silence fell upon the table as you all took a moment to eat a bit. 

The silence almost made you want to curl up into a ball and cry. Mr. Lee clears his throat. “Heeseung, guess what?” he asks his son in a joyful tune. Heeseung cocks his eyebrow, looking at his father as he takes another bite of his food. Mr. Lee grins, looking at you and back at Heeseung. “Y/n is also going to Decelis University, isn’t that so fun?”

Your cheeks start to heat up as you awkwardly take another sip of your water. Heeseung looks at you. You could feel his stare burning into his skin. 

Why was he being like this?

“What are you studying?” he asked, tone seemingly uninterested as if he was forcing himself to speak with you. Yet that didn’t stop the butterflies from filling up in your stomach. You had missed his voice. His voice, now deeper than it was before, runs through body. Your body trembles just a tiny bit. To you he seemed bored yet that was not going to stop your heart from doing olympic flips inside of your chest. “Um, psychology…,” you trailed awkwardly, playing with the food on your plate. He nods, more immersed into his food than he was in you. 

Maybe people do change… maybe he really didn’t care for you anymore. You purse your lips into a flat line, frustrated at how things were going. Maybe you really did need to forget about him. 

“Well Heeseung just got his very own car! I’m sure he’d love to drive you to school as well,” Mrs. Lee spoke up, trying her best to defuse the tension. “Mom,” Heeseung whines, disappointed in his tone. She gives him a stern look. The younger boy sighs annoyedly. His mother always forced him to do things he never wanted to do in the first place. 

“I-It’s okay really, I’m fine taking the bus when the time comes, trust me, he doesn’t have to,” you shakily let out. Yet again, you felt as if you were going to throw up all over this table. “No he will Y/n, don’t worry, I’ll make sure of it,” Mrs. Lee smiles at you. Heeseung rolls his eyes, clearly annoyed at his mother for offering his services. You awkwardly pick at your food, as the parents started up a completely new conversion amongst themselves.

Stealing peaks at Heeseung every so often, you wondered why he was being so weird. Did he not miss you this entire time? Were you really that forgettable to him? You frown to yourself, finishing what was left on your plate, not realizing how fast everyone had eaten. You get up from your seat, giving a helping hand as you start to clear the table for everyone and making your way to the sink. Finally, away from the view of the table, you set the dirty dishes down. 

You let out a deep shaky sigh. Tears slowly well up in your eyes once more. You tilt your head up towards the ceiling, trying your best to hold them back. You hated that you were such a big cry baby. You decide to start on the dishes, giving your mother a little helping hand, trying your hardest to think positive thoughts.

Back at the dining table away from your line of hearing, your mother speaks up, catching Heeseung’s attention. “Heeseung, you really have gotten so tall and handsome!” she expressed in awe. “Can’t you believe Y/n used to be a little taller than you back in the day? Now look at her! So short,” finishing her statement, she covers her mouth as she laughs, the other parents at the table join in. 

Heeseung simply chuckles back. You were very small, it was almost as if you barely grew in height the last he saw you. If Heeseung was being honest, you caught him off guard. You looked completely different. Your hair is longer, your curves grew in, and even the way you dressed surprised him. Heeseung didn’t mean to ignore you, he really didn’t. He was afraid he’d stutter and embarrass himself. 

You probably hated him anyway. So he made the conscious decision to make it seem like he just didn’t care. You surely had new friends now. But the thought of you, was driving him a little insane. That wasn’t the same Y/n, was it? He kept sneaking peeks at you like a kid having his very first crush. Well you actually were his very first love. For some reason, you were making him feel a bit hot and bothered. He needed to get away from you, he didn’t even think his parents would even move back to this place. He wanted to forget about you. There was no way you still felt the same after so many years. 

It was his fault anyways that you both stopped speaking. He couldn’t forgive himself and he figured it was best to keep you out of sight and out of mind, embarrassed and nervous thinking of the way he must’ve made you feel. It’s been so long, it wasn’t like you cared–  right?

Seeing you today just made him want to jump all over you. The nerve of you to wear that little skirt… Did you know his favorite color was purple? The moment he saw you, impure thoughts filled his mind. Thoughts and images in his head of you, bent over the table with your little skirt, all for him. He knew it was you he saw in that car with that boy.

Who the hell was that guy anyways? There was no way you wanted anything to do with him… you had already replaced him. For all he knew, that guy could’ve been your boyfriend. He needed to put an end to these thoughts. The two of you were no longer friends and here he was thinking about you in compromising ways. He felt like a creep. He felt himself getting a little too excited in hopes that maybe, just maybe, you were the bigger person and would look past his nonsense and maybe talk to him. He missed you, he always has.

But he was the one that ghosted you and he couldn’t forgive himself for what he ruined and he knew there was no hope of rekindling what was once there. It seemed like you had a boyfriend anyways and the thought of that just sours his mood. For some reason, it just made him all the angrier. He wanted to just kiss you in front of everyone to let the world know you were his girl first to begin with. Deep in thought, he hadn’t realized you were already back until he saw his empty dinner plate being carried away by his mother. 

You sat back across from him. He locks his eyes onto you, taking the way you looked in once more. Man did he want to take you right there and then. He felt so filthy thinking about you in such a way surrounded by not only his parents, but yours as well. He shifts a bit in his seat, having to keep in mind that you were already taken. He was always selfish thinking you’d wait for him. To make himself feel worse, the thought of you doing lewd actions to anyone but him, made him feel the need to punch holes through walls. 

Why was he so upset? He couldn’t even bring himself to speak to you normally anyways. 

You felt heavy eyes on you as you sat in your seat, looking up from your lap, your eyes meet Heeseung’s. This was happening way too much for your liking. You look away and back onto your lap, fiddling your fingers together, nervous as to what he was thinking. He looked scary. Your breathing still a bit shaky, you were just counting down the minutes till the Lee’s left. But you knew they’d be here awhile, that was typical of both your families as they loved to linger and talk about nonsense. Your legs shaking nervously, you let out a deep sign, your anxiety getting worse as the time flies by. “Why don’t you show Heeseung to your room and catch up a bit? I’m sure you guys would love to talk amongst yourselves.”

You spin your head at the speed of light to where the voice was coming from. Your father takes a sip of his drink. “Go on, we’ll give you two some space,” he adds on. Shocked, you looked at your mother, hoping she’d save you, but she gave you a little shrug shaking her head. You knew your dad never took your feelings for Heeseung seriously. Taking a mental note to have a stern talk with him later, you stand up from your seat, legs wobbling. “Uh… sure– if it’s okay with you of course,” you hastily spit out, hoping he’d turn you down. 

To your surprise, he stood up from his seat, making his way towards your side. What the fuck was going on. Was he not just ignoring you not too long ago? Your heart pounding against your ribcage, you scurry your way out of the kitchen, Heeseung follows behind.

Heeseung knew where your bedroom was already, your house was still the same aside from minor renovations from the past years. As you lead the way to your room, he couldn’t help but trail his eyes down to your bottom. The thigh highs on your legs not making anything better for what he was going through at the moment either. Walking up the stairs, his eyes catch a glimpse of your underwear… Hello Kitty underwear? He smirked. Maybe some things about you never changed and boy was he right.

When you open the door to your room, he was met with Sanrio galore. Hello Kitty plushies littered your room followed by every possible character that franchise had a hold of. Hell, your bedsheets and bed were splattered with just as much. 

You walked in and sat on your bed, the nerve wracking anxiety eating away at you. You swear you could just jump out of your window right now to escape this. Too deep into your thoughts, you didn’t realize the fact that he closed the door behind him. You were definitely going to throw up sooner or later. 

The tension was awkward and your heart was heavy. What were you supposed to say? 

Lee Heeseung was in your room and he looked extremely hot. 

He takes in your room, it looks completely different. You had taken time to really change things. He scans around and a certain wall catches his eye. There on the wall, littered with many pictures of you and your friends. There he saw you and that same guy he saw you with earlier in so many of the pictures. Why was he always there? It pissed Heeseung off to no end. Old pictures of the two of you nowhere in sight. He was upset to say the least. Did you really hate him that much? His temper starts to get short. What he said next shocked the both of you. 

“Did you really have to dress like a slut for dinner?” he spits, catching even himself off guard. Your head shoots at him, a disgusted expression lay on your face. “What the hell did you just say to me?” You stood up, crossing your arms as you looked at him.

This was not the Heeseung you knew, that's for sure. Your feelings for him were thrown out the window and forgotten. He was being thrown out the window in your head once again. “Did I stutter?” he cocks his eyebrow at you as your face displays offense.

“What the hell is your problem Heeseung,” you bite back, your temper being shortened. You cannot believe this was the same guy you were crying over the entire day. He laughs at your face. “What’s yours? I’m not the one having my ass and tits hanging out for the whole world to see,” he nonchalantly says. Oh he was done for. “You sure have changed.”

He was far too gone to even call whatever he just did some sick joke and make up with you. To him, you looked so cute being all angry at him, it made him a little excited. He wondered how long he could keep this up. Though, he was fighting the urge to just grab you and kiss you right there. But you had a boyfriend, he couldn’t do that. 

You angrily stomp towards him, cornering him against the wall. Harshly jabbing his chest with your finger, you looked up at him, a smug smile plastered onto his face. You wanted to punch his pretty face in. 

“You are so fucking annoying, what do you treat every girl you see this way? Dick too small to get any action, you have to take it out on women?” you spit out at him, venom lacing your voice. One thing you were not going to let men get away with was the way they spoke about women. The sweet Heeseung you once knew, instantly exploding into little pieces in your mind. 

He chuckles. “I’ll have you know, I have a huge dick and probably get more action than you– Ms. Hello Kitty panties,” he smirks at you as you gasped. “You fucking creep!” a loud sound erupted into the room.

You had just smacked him in the face. Heeseung knew he had that coming. You couldn’t believe this was your Heeseung. Someone definitely replaced the Heeseung you knew with a terrible good for nothing clone.

But why were you still so attracted to him?

Heeseung rubs the side of his face that was inflicted. “Can’t handle the truth can you, can’t believe your little boyfriend lets you out looking like that,” he said, rolling his eyes at you. Puzzled, you furrowed your brows together trying to figure out what he meant. Boy… friend? Then it hits you.

Sunoo. You couldn’t believe what you just heard. Heeseung thinks Sunoo is your boyfriend. Forgetting all that just occurred, you pull back and let out the loudest laugh in his face, clutching your stomach. You couldn’t believe he thought Sunoo was your boyfriend. “You really are so stupid,” you said, wiping a tear away. 

Heeseung’s face heats up a bit as he pouts, what could’ve possibly been so funny. “Yeah, my “boyfriend” let’s me out like this, because he’s not actually my boyfriend,” you said with finger quotes on the word boyfriend. Why was he so worked up over Sunoo anyways? 

“Then who is he to you, he’s in all of your pictures,” he crosses his arms at you. You raise an eyebrow, confused as to why he was pressing. “Um, that’s my best friend, he lives in your old house…,” you trailed, feeling a bit awkward bringing up the fact that his old place of residence was now occupied by some boy he knows nothing about.

Heeseung’s eye twitches just a bit, a weird feeling bubbles within him. So you did replace him and better yet, replace him with another boy that lives in his old home. He felt as if you just kicked him in the face. 

“Was I nothing to you? What are you gonna marry him now? I look better anyways,” he disgustingly lets out at you. Was he jealous? You laughed, shaking your head in disbelief.

“You were the one that ghosted me, let’s not forget that now,” you said back sternly. The way his eyes darkened at you, made your knees a bit weak. He strides towards you, causing you to walk backwards, the back of your legs hitting your bed as you stumble on, Heeseung towering over you.

Voice dropping as he looked down at you on your bed, he spoke up. “It’s not like it mattered anyways, seems like you were out here dressed like a whore, leading every boy on.” Your eyes meet his, he leans down, you can feel his breath on your face. 

“Bet you wanted me to look at you anyways, I bet you like the attention,” he whispers in your ear. Tingles run through your entire body. Without thought, you squeezed your thighs together to feel a little friction. You were getting turned on. He lingers just a little as he reaches his hand up to hold your chin, making sure you looked him in the eyes. Your breathing increases as you start to realize how close he was to you. This had to be a dream. He inches his face closer to yours, the scent of your strawberry like perfume fills his nose. You have always smelt sweet. It was intoxicating to him. You close your eyes, hoping this wasn’t real. He looks down at your lips before taking a slight breath in. 

His lips landed onto yours. Your eyes widened, not believing this was happening. You quickly close them again, giving into the kiss. He smirks against your lips, deepening the kiss, his hand still holding your face up. He pulls away, pushing you down. You scoot up a bit, as he climbs onto your bed, now hovering over you.

You felt so small under him. Your eyes fluttered as he stared down at you. A wave of embarrassment wash over you as you bring your arm up to cover your face. He pulls your arm away, eyes hungry for you. He leans back down, pulling you into another heated kiss as he puts his knee in between your legs, opening them slightly. The friction catching you off guard, you let out a small moan. His dick twitches, you start to grind a little on his leg. He moves his hand down to caress your side, bringing it up to give your boob a squeeze over your shirt.

You gasped, taken by surprise. He takes the chance to stick his tongue into your mouth, your panties growing wetter by the minute. Mission “forget about Heeseung” was no longer there. You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him in. Everything felt so hot and fuzzy, you had long forgotten the things he had said earlier. Heeseung pulls away, moving his mouth to your neck, leaving a trail of kisses. You squirm under him, trying your hardest to keep quiet. He chuckles.

“We just met again after so long, and you’re really letting me do this to you right now while our parents are downstairs?” he spoke against you, he trails his hand down and in between your legs. “You aren’t really helping your case of being a little slut now– are you?” 

Your face turns red, unable to speak. He was right, you guys had barely said anything to each other and here you are letting him touch you after all the nasty things he said earlier. It was Lee Heeseung after all. The one and only boy who managed to make you feel every and all emotions in this world. Your body easily gave in as if this was what it's been waiting for. 

His fingers stroke the outside of your panties, you were already soaked. He rubs his finger up and down your panties, feeling the dampness as he reaches his other hand up to your corset top, conveniently having a zipper on the front, he unzips your top, your boobs spilling out. “No bra? You really are just a slut.”

At this point, he was painfully hard. He gropes one of your breasts as he leans down, taking the other into your mouth. He sucks on your nipple as he rubs circles on your clit, still clothed by your panties. You reach your hand over your mouth, covering it as your moans gradually get louder. The room felt hot and heavy, you couldn’t help yourself as you moaned his name, pleasure overfilled your body.

“H-Heeseung… Hee… please…,” you softly cried out. He moans into your breast, pushing your panty to the side, he feels your wetness in its entirety. His fingers slide up and down your slit as he takes his mouth off of your nipple, eyes on you. 

Fuck, you looked too hot. He couldn’t believe he was doing these things to you right now. He pulls you into another sloppy kiss. He inserts his finger into your hole, a moan erupting out of you as he starts to thrust his hand. You were so wet and he needed to take you right now. The thought of you both potentially getting caught as your parents were just downstairs, turned him on even more. He pulls away, taking your fucked out expression in. He adds in another finger.

“Oh my god,” you moaned, blushing as you caught his eye. Lust overtook him as he increased the pace of his hand, pumping his fingers in and out of you as if his life depended on it. He curled his fingers within you, earning a loud squeal from you. He smirks. 

“Y/n, you gotta keep your voice down, you don’t want your parents coming up here seeing their sweet little daughter like this, now do you?” he menacingly asked. Your cute little moans were enough to almost make him burst all over you. His pants were getting too tight for his liking. He needed to have you. 

You were lost and flustered. His fingers so deep into you, you felt your climax was close. “Faster… please H-Hee…,” you moan, stuttering from the sensation. “S-So c-close, I’m so close.”

With his free hand, he reaches up, grabbing your face. “Look at me while you cum Y/n, I need to see your fucked out face,” his said, his deep voice making you clench around his fingers. Your moans start to increase again, he puts his hand over your mouth, trying to suppress the volume. With one more pump, you cream all over his fingers, screams of his name muffled against his hand as he rides out your high with his fingers. He takes his hand off, allowing you to finally breathe and catch your breath. Eyes hazy as you pant. He pulls his fingers out of you, taking them up to his mouth, sucking on his own fingers and tasting your cum. 

“Fuck, you taste so good Y/n,” he said, leaning down kissing you, letting you have a taste of yourself. Pulling back, he leans his forehead on yours, taking in what he just did with you. Silence filled the room, your cheeks heated up as you looked away from him. Your heart wanted to jump out of your chest. 

You just let Lee Heeseung finger you. 

And you liked it. 

Before you both could even muster up words to say, yells of Heeseung’s name were heard from downstairs. He stands up quickly, taking in the way you were on your bed one last time. Man did he love that skirt on you. He adjusts his hoodie, pulling it down more to cover his raging boner. Without a word, he takes his leave, leaving you there on your bed. Tits out, panties filled with your own cum, skirt hiked up, and flustered. You hastily sit up, zipping your top back up. Like the entire day, the feeling of needing to throw up reemerges. You reach your own hand down, feeling the wetness still there. This definitely was not a dream. Heeseung just fingered you.

Lee Heeseung was here and he just fingered you.

You grab your pillow, groaning as you slam your head repeatedly down onto it. 

How the hell did you end up here?

Heeseung’s heart was beating so fast. He ran down your stairs, almost running into his own mother as she was putting her shoes on by the door. 

“Woah, slow down son,” she laughs. He mutters a sorry as he turns to bid your parents a goodbye. He makes his way out of your house needing a breath of fresh air, still painfully hard. He picks up his bike from the side of your porch and makes his way off of your driveway and down the road, leaving his parents there puzzled as to why he was in such a hurry. He needed to get home now.

Thankfully, his house wasn’t too far from yours, just being down the street by the basketball court. He threw his bike onto his lawn as he hurriedly tried to fish his house keys out of his pocket. Opening the door, he quickly shuts it behind him as he runs up the stairs and to his room. He locks the door. He needed to let one out while the image of you was fresh in his mind.

Heeseung strips himself of his clothes, leaving him in just his boxers. He jumps into his bed, laying his head onto his pillow, palming himself through his boxers. Before getting started, he hears his parents enter the home. He waits until they make their way into their room, settling in for the night. After a bit of time had passed, he deemed it safe enough to finally start his session. He palms himself once more, squeezing his length through his boxers. 

He couldn’t believe you actually let him finger you. He takes the hand he used to finger you with, bringing his fingers up to his nose, taking a whiff of what was there of your essence. His dick twitched. You smelled delicious. Not being able to take it any longer, he pulls his boxers down, his cock slapping down onto his abdomen, pre cum already leaking from his tip. He spits into his hand, carefully reaching down to his cock, giving it a stroke.

Thoughts of you fill his mind. Images of what just happened flipped through his head like a slideshow. He strokes up and down, remembering the way your tits looked amazing. Your moans replay over and over again. He gives his tip a squeeze and continues on stroking his cock to you. His eyes remain closed as he tries his hardest to keep you there. He strokes hard and fast as he can almost still hear you moaning his name over and over again. 

He groans, wishing you were here to help him out. He thinks about how warm and wet your mouth would feel around him. He wishes so badly he got to feel your pussy around his cock, squeezing him the way you suffocated his fingers within you. 

“Fuck… Y/n,” he moans to himself, speed increasing. That damn skirt of yours. Next time he knew he had to have you bent over the nearest surface, pumping his cock deep into your pussy. If there was even a next time.

You were driving him insane. His orgasm getting closer and closer, he gives a few more pumps, ropes of his own cum spilling all over his chest as he lets out curses of your name. He laid there, panting and trying to catch his breath. 

This summer was going to be the death of him. 

The next day rolls around a little too fast for your liking. The events of last night, replaying in your head over and over again. You wanted to go to the nearest bridge and jump off. 

The boy you have been crying over for years was just here… in your house… and he fingered you. 

Your anxiety has been eating away at you since the moment you woke up. Your friends were on their way to your house, any minute now. Thankfully, Sunoo slept over his grandparents and agreed to go pick up the two girls before making his way here. 

After Heeseung had left last night, you immediately looked for your phone, opening up your messages to tell them what just happened. Thinking about it makes you want to run away forever.

Y/n sent a message to group “fuck heeseung!”

Y/n: guys … something just happened…

Karina: what’s up babe?

Sunoo: u good?

Ningning: ???

Y/n: uhhhhhhhh……

Sunoo: bitch if u dont just spit it out! 😒

Y/n: heeseung just fingered me in my room

Sunoo: WTF

Karina: WTF

Ningning: WTF

Ningning: this bitch done took the gc name srsly my gawdddd 😭

Having sent that text, you immediately threw your phone, ignoring the spam texts and calls your friends were sending your way. You could not handle your emotions as you went to get ready to sleep only to wake up to threats from your friends telling you they’re breaking into your house tomorrow and making you spill the tea. You lay there on your bed, covering your face with your hands. One of these days you were really going to throw up all over the place.

Your thoughts were soon broken as you heard loud knocks coming from downstairs. You hear muffles of your friends greeting your mother as she opens the door for her and then asking where you were. You wish you could just cast a spell like Alex Russo and disappear yourself out of here. Rushed footsteps head their way to you and your door was thrown open. You uncover your face and quickly sit up, patting your lap as your friends stare back at you, their arms crossed. 

“Heyyyyyyy…,” you said, awkwardly trying to lighten the mood, tucking your hair behind your ears, giving them a toothy exaggerated smile. This is the part where you wish you could spontaneously combust. Karina closes your door as Sunoo walks to sit on the bed with you and Ningning occupies the beanbag on your floor. Karina sits on the ground next to her. All eyes on you.

“So… how are you guys,” you sheepishly said, rubbing the back of your neck. They all roll their eyes simultaneously growing impatient. 

“How are we? Bitch how are you?!” Karina shouts at you. You pick up the Hello Kitty squish next to you, slamming your face into it and groaning. “If you don’t hurry and get to the detai–,” you cut her off.

“I will! Okay! So like you see…,” they inch closer towards you, not wanting to miss a single detail as mission “forget about Heeseung” was now compromised. You sighed, taking in a deep breath. It was now or never. 

“Okay so you see what had happened was… Heeseung’sfamilyhadmovedbacktotheneighborhoodandtheycameoverand–,” you were interrupted. “Oh my god Y/n slow the hell down, you know I can’t think!” Ningning exclaims, annoyed at your tactics.

“Okay.. okay… so… Heeseung’s family had moved back to the neighborhood–,”

“So they were the “special guest” your mom had told you about?” Sunoo interjected. You nod. “Okay, carry on.”

“Right so, since his family had moved back… that means he’s back… and–,”

“Now how did this get to him fingering you?” Karina speaks up. 

“I’m getting there woman! Okay so–,” 

“Damn Sunoo you missed out on seeing this motherfucker,” Ningning interrupts once more. “Right? Like I was just thinki–,” Now you were the one to cut Sunoo off. “Are ya’ll going to let me finish my story or what?” you annoyedly sighed. The two mumble small “sorry’s” as they allow you to continue. 

“Alright so, my parents invited them to stay for dinner, Heeseung wasn’t there yet and turns out he was the guy me and Noo saw riding his bike down our road,” you start off, palms getting sweaty. “THAT WAS HIM?” Sunoo shouts back at you, hand covering his mouth. “He was so cute.”

“Anyways,” you continued. “He shows up, kinda an asshole now, he practically ignored me all dinner until my parents forced me to bring him to my room and then things got a little… you know… heated… and he uhh… you know, did what he did to me,” you shyly finished as all the blood within you started to rush to the apples of your cheeks. You looked down onto your lap. “He was really mean… but he was so hot… I’m not sure what happened but he went from calling me a slut, to getting weird over thinking Noo was my boyfriend, me yelling at him, and then BAM! His fingers made their way in me I guess…,” you finished off. You look up, catching your friends' confused stares. Sunoo bursts into a fit of laughter.

“He thought I was your boyfriend? Y/n he was so jealous, like seriously, he finger fucked you because he was jealous you were around another boy!” Sunoo says through his laughter. You smack him with your squish, throwing punches at him after. “Well yeah and you’re sitting right where it happened,” you yelled at him. He gagged, disgusted he pushed you off of him and took a seat on the floor next to the two girls. He shook his whole body, cringing.

“Wait a minute, he called you a slut? Like in a “you’re so hot you belong to me” type of way or “you’re a slut and you need to stop looking like how you look” way?” Karina asks, genuinely concerned over the fact that this dude potentially hurt your feelings. You scratch your head. 

“Um… the second one…,” you trailed. Karina gets a bit heated. Her feelings towards this dude grow sour as the seconds pass. She hated him already. She lets out a heavy sigh. “You can’t be serious and you let him touch you after all of this?” She says with a disgusted tone paired with an equally expressive disgusted face. “When I get my hands on this guy, I’m gon–,” you cut her off.

“Rina, seriously it’s okay… everything just happened so fast, I’m not really sure how to feel but I also didn’t hate it,” you painfully admitted. The shame inside of you spilling out of your pores as you try to figure out a way to justify what you did. There was no justification. This was all way too complicated. 

“Y/n… this is the guy you have liked forever… and he ghosted you… if it were me, i would’ve been beating the shit out of him and not letting him put some fingers up my cooch,” Ningning spoke up, shrugging her shoulders. 

“Well I did slap him across his face,” you nonchalantly throw out. “You did what?” Sunoo said, raising an eyebrow genuinely interested. You roll your eyes at him. 

“So… did you even get his number to like… you know talk about all of… this,” Karina asked. She just wanted the best for you but you just alway seem to dig yourself into the biggest holes known to man. You let out a chuckle.

“About that… no…,” you muttered out. Karina picks up the nearest plush she saw that was on your floor and throws it at your head. “You are so stupid sometimes, you know that right Y/n?” she tiredly said. If she gets the chance to ever see Heeseung, she made a mental note to have a long talk with him. He could not get away with these shenanigans, she did not care how much he meant to you. 

“Oh yeah… and he’s going to be attending Decelis–,” this time it was Ningning throwing a plush at you, interrupting your nonsense. “It just keeps getting better and better!” Sunoo sarcastically lets out.

Sighing you felt exhausted, mentally and physically. This whole situation makes you want to pull your hair out of your head. But before forgetting, the thought of the barbeque comes to your mind. “Also, his family is hosting a BBQ this weekend, they said I could invite you guys– but only if you were interested!” you hurriedly finished the last part, worried they were going to throw anything else at you. Ningning and Sunoo shoot up from their seats. 

“Def def def going! If he’s as cute as y’all make him to be, he’s bound to have even cuter friends to invite,” Ningning giggles, fantasizing about the potential boys Heeseung could be inviting. “Maybe they’re gonna be going to DU too~,” the bubbly girl sings. You all roll your eyes at her. She has always been a hopeless romantic.

“I’m just nosy and I’d love to see how this all plays out,” Sunoo lets out, Ningning agreeing with him also. You all turned to Karina, she seemed indifferent.

“So Rina bear… do you want to come too? I’m making my tiramisu for the occasion~,” her face lights up, you can see the twinkle in her eyes. “Okay, but… I can’t promise i”ll behave,” she said, crossing her arms, sticking her tongue out at you. You jump up with joy, jumping onto them and onto the floor, pulling them all into a tight group hug.

“I love you guys so much, now let’s go get ice cream or something, I'm craving something sweet!” You excitedly exclaim. Sunoo snickers. “Yeah Heeseung already gave you something sweet last nigh–OW!” you smack the back of his head before he could even finish his sentence. With that, you all get up, making your way outside and to Sunoo’s car. 

“Alright, where are we heading?” Sunoo asks you guys. Ningning speaks up from the backseat. “Ooh, to that taiyaki ice cream place, you know, the one past the basketball court down there!” Everyone agrees as Sunoo pulls out of his driveway. 

Unbeknownst to all of you, Heeseung has been at the basketball court since the morning, playing some rounds with his friends. As Sunoo drives down the road, he suddenly lets out a gasp, slowing his car down.

“OH EM GEE… Y/n is that Heeseung?” He asked, pointing his finger towards the basketball court. “Oh em gee, WHERE?” Ningning yells, rolling her window down, Sunoo does the same. 

There Heeseung was, in a simple baggy white tee and gray sweatpants. “Wow Y/n… he’s so hot,” Ningning gasps. “And so are his friends! If those are the ones going to the BBQ, I call dibs on the blond one, he looks like a puppy,” she finishes. 

“Fuck are they looking at us?” Karina asked, her eyes bulging out of her face. Your face heats up, there Heeseung was, stopped in his tracks, eyebrow cocked as he makes eye contact with you through Sunoo’s car. You wanted to jump out of the car and run away. All of his friends were staring back, looking to see what had caught their friend’s eye. 

Of course they were, Sunoo and Ningning were not helping the situation. Who wouldn’t notice a bright red car, slowly driving down a quiet street as some weirdos stare at them from inside. To your surprise, Ningning catches the attention of the blond one, giggling as she winked, blowing him a kiss, he winks back at her. Karina pulls her back from the window, smacking her upside her head as she rolls the window back up. 

Sunken down onto your seat, the embarrassment was eating away at you as you oh so desperately wanted to throw up all over the interior of Sunoo’s car. You groan, covering your face, your friends really had to make things even weirder for you. Sunoo steps on the gas as he tries to get you guys out of this awkward situation ASAP. He couldn’t help but laugh at the way you looked in the passenger seat next to him. You ignore him, pulling your phone out to scroll through whatever social media app your finger clicked first. An instagram notification catches your eye.

“heesoswag1015” wants to send you a message!

You click on the notification, leading you to your requests box. Your heart is still racing, you click the accept button. The color drains from your face.

heesoswag1015: stalker much?

heesoswag1015: anyways my friend jake told me to tell u that your friend is really hot

heesoswag1015: and that you’re really fucking weird 

You were definitely not looking forward to the weekend.

© enwrites // tumblr

[agustdiv1ne]

bf!txt finding out you write smut about them online 😳

opening hard hours and subsequently closing them j so i can ramble abt it this (and now that you've mentioned best friend!txt,, oh my lordy lord) (also mdni thanks)

yeonjun accidently stumbles upon your account when he asks to borrow your laptop. it's open on a tab you should've closed, and the first words that he registers are his name and the bolded "smut" directly next to it — and a sick sort of curiousity comes over him. commence him scrolling through your account, reading all the perverted things you've posted about him and him only, none of the other members in sight. and it's surprisingly...well-written? his heart beats loud in his ears as he realizes that you think about him the same way he thinks about you, vividly imagining fucking you in the way that you've described — you really seem to like his lips, hm? and his hands. and the way you write about his cock makes him wonder how the fuck you know him so well. maybe he'll just have to make a move on you, make you cum over and over again 'til you're crying for him...yeah, he thinks he just might

soobin is so turned on that it's embarrassing. he shouldn't be, he knows. disgust should be flooding his system at the thought of you writing such depraved things about him, about tying him up and playing with him until he's sobbing and drooling all over the sheets. yet here he is, jerking off to your writing because he just can't help himself. his cute little best friend thinks all these things about him? instant boner. he's so needy and he just can't take it anymore. he secretly begins following your account just to keep up with your new posts, somehow always finding himself with a hand shoved beneath the waistband of his boxers. he's not sure how to approach you, so he'll just let it be for now. he'll start being more touchy now that he knows, holding your hand, hands wrapping around your waist, hoping that you'll figure it out. unluckily for him, you don't, and try to keep things platonic because you don't want to lose him. god, okay. he'll just have to do it then. one day, maybe tomorrow, he'll confess to you and let you do all the dirty things that you've written about to him

beomgyu is...quite the wildcard. i think he'd have an inkling about your feelings for him, but he likes to play with his food a little before he goes in for a bite. he'll tease you with a hand on your thigh just a little too high for it to be platonic, set you on his lap when others are around just to see you all flustered for him. your first (and last) mistake is leaving your account up on your phone when you leave to grab a snack from the kitchen. it's a screen he's never seen before, and it piques his interest immediately. imagine his shock when he sees you've been writing about him, your thoughts about him bending you over and fucking into you, about him pressing his chest to your back, legs holding yours open, and having his way with you. he fucking knew it: you're not as innocent, as shy, as you seem. you end up bent over the couch with his cock buried deep in your walls, his hips teasingly grinding into you as he demands that you keep reading your fics out loud so he can do exactly what you wished for, relishing in your embarrassment <33

taehyun, unfortunately for you, is perceptive. the way you turn your screen away from him sometimes, thumbs flying across your keyboard, never letting him anywhere near your laptop...you're damn well doing something that you shouldn't be. it can't be helped, the way he finds himself snooping through your phone when you're taking a shower just to stumble upon posts upon posts of the dirtiest, nastiest things that you want him to do to you. it's odd how well you've pinpointed his more dominant tendencies, his strength kink and his choking kink and how this means you share them. something about the way you write leaves him craving for more — for the the real thing. and what can he say? curiousity killed the cat, but satisfaction sure as hell brought him back. when you come back, clad in borderline skimpy pajamas, he waves your phone around, asking you why you didn't just ask him to fuck you? he feels the same way about you, after all. after a bit of fretting and him soothing your unease, you're on your knees with your tight, wet mouth around his cock, and all he can think about is how he's going to make you cry for him once he pulls you off of him

kai, oh lord. kai is freaking the fuck out. he's curious to see what moas write about him, so he makes an account just to see and woah. there's so much dirty shit about him but it makes him so hard and needy and all he can picture doing those things to you, of you doing those things to him. he clicks on one account that seems very prevalent in his tag, and he freezes. you're using a pseudonym, but there's enough identifying information that he knows it's you. what confirms it for him is your recent face reveal and oh my god, it really is you. how do you know that he humps his plushies to the thought of you? how do you know he's been wanting to watch you ride him and suck on your tits all the while? how do you even know he has a things for boobs? it's dizzying, and all he can think about as he grabs his trusty fleshlight are your tight, warm walls wrapped around him, imagining how desperate you'd sound once he has sunken into you. and is it so bad when you find him in such a compromising position? is it so bad that you're giving in? no, it can't be, not as he watches you use him to get off, your walls quivering around him as he helps bounce you up and down like his personal little fuckdoll >///<

[ihavethedreamies]

Pool Boy (1) | Yeonjun

Choi Yeonjun - TXT

Rating: M (18+) MDNI

Word Count: ~3.2k OuO

Pairing: Yeonjun x AFAB!Reader

Genre: Reader-Insert, Smut, Porn without Plot

!!This is smut…if that much isn't clear you should probably leave now!! MDNI!

Warnings: She/Her Pronouns used, Small Age Difference (Unspecified, he calls her Noona), Pet Names (Pretty Girl, Noona, etc.), Swearing, Kissing, Oral (M! Receiving), Deepthroating/Face-Fucking, Fingering, Semi-Public Sex (at work but no one else is there), Unprotected Sex (Use a condom! She's on the pill)

Summary: Getting it on after hours with the hot lifeguard who works at the same pool as you. This is just for context, it literally has no effect on the story itself.

Author's Note: This originally was going to be part of a really long series with a lot of plot, but it was taking too long and I was putting too much plot, more than I had initially planned. Because of that, I cut nearly all plot out and it's still three-thousands words of just fucking so…

None of the parts are reliant on the others, there is just a version for each boy.

-> Taehyun <-

-> Soobin <-

-> Hueningkai <-

-> Beomgyu <-

I am cross-posting this on Archive. Please reblog! If you know anyone that would like this or future fics but they aren't on here my name and icon are exactly the same on the other site. Happy reading!

Everyone had left, leaving just you and Yeonjun. You were finishing up last minute stuff in the office, not sure where he was, but his bag was still inside, so he definitely hadn’t left. As you were pinning up a sheet on the corkboard by the door that was the schedule for the next week, you felt a presence behind you. It was warm and you didn’t even flinch when you felt hands on your hips. Yeonjun wrapped his arms around you, hand holding his other wrist, so they rested right near your belly button. His cheek rested on your head, his mouth right by your ear.

"Looks like we're alone." His breath was hot on your ear, and you pressed back into him, your own hands coming to rest on his in front of you. You shifted and he let you go just enough that you could turn toward him, then his arms tightened again. He pressed so close to you you could feel the slight ridges of his stomach through both of your thin shirts. Your head had to tip back pretty far to look up at him at this distance. His hands unlinked and surrounded your waist, his big hands easily covering a wide swath of your middle. Your own hands went to his upper chest near his shoulders, and slowly slid up to his jaw.

"Can I kiss you?" he asked, lips so close to yours they brushed over each other with his words.

"I’ll be mad if you don’t-" He was on you. Yeonjun’s lips were as soft as they looked and you groaned, tilting your head to instantly deepen the kiss. One of your hands ran up the nape of his neck into his hair, the other gripping his shirt over the right side of his chest. His own hands left your waist and descended lower till they rested over your ass, and he put his hands into your pockets. Somehow, he pulled you closer and you moaned softly at feeling him completely surround you. He stepped forward and your back hit the wall, the corkboard preventing you from bumping your head on the painted brick. Reluctantly, you both pulled away for a breath, lips still hovering close.

"This okay, (Y/N)?" When his voice, raspy with desire, spoke your name you shuddered. How could someone this beautiful really want you? Just a normal human, not someone who looked like they belonged in a museum as an art piece.

"I would let you do whatever to me." You admitted and he groaned, his brow furrowing and his lips sealed to yours again. The force of the kiss made you groan, and he took the chance to slip his tongue in your mouth. Your head swam and you had never been so turned on just from kissing a guy before. His hands were all over you and you sighed when his fingers crept under your shirt and up your back. When you had to pull away again for air, a ribbon of saliva hung between your lips, and you licked to break the connection.

"Whatever huh?"

"Within reason." You were both slightly out of breath still, your exhales mixing between you.

"What do you want to do?" you asked, your lips still so close they brushed as you spoke. One hand left your back, and he cupped your jaw gently, his thumb rubbing over your throat.

"I want you to swallow my cock." His voice was quiet, worried he was being too forward. You groaned a bit, and he at first thought you were unwilling. However, the fact that you instantly sank to your knees, he saw you were more than willing.

"Fuck (Y/N)." He gasped when your much smaller hands went to the waist band of his swim trunks, and you pulled the garment off and away. His cock sprang free, and he sighed in relief. Big and pretty, just like him. Before he could say anything else, your mouth sealed around the head, your tongue swirling around before taking him deeper.

"Shit~" His moans were pretty too, everything about him was so pretty. When the tip of his dick hit the back of your mouth, your eyes flitted up to meet his. Yeonjun swore once again, resting his arm on the wall and then his forehead on his arm. Seeing you like that made his cock twitch and a bead of pre hit your tongue. What he wasn't expecting you to do next was start inching him even deeper into your throat. He whined and you moaned back, swallowing around him over and over to keep from gagging too bad. He said he wanted you to swallow his cock, so you did, burying him in your throat, your nose hitting the skin of his groin. His eyes clenched shut, teeth chewing on his bottom lip, trying not to move. When you noticed his hips twitch slightly, you smiled as best you could with your mouth full of Yeonjun's dick, and pulled back till you could circle your tongue over the head again.

"Wanna move?" You offered and his eyes flew open to gape at you. When he saw your determined face and not a hint of reluctance in your tone of voice, he moaned. You even sounded excited.

"You sure?" And when you nodded, his other hand stroked over your hair, lightly gripping it to hold you where he wanted. It seemed you had some experience with that kind of thing, because you shifted your kneeling position so you could brace against the floor better. The head of his cock brushed past your lips again and he let out a long whine as you let him get as deep as possible. When he asked for you to swallow his cock, he didn't realize you were going to let him fuck your face. Just the thought alone was getting him close, let alone the perfect wet, hot vacuum your mouth created.

"Fuck-" He groaned, careful to watch when you would suck air in through your nose, making sure he didn't cut your air off too much and too long. Your panties were stuck to your folds already and you grinded against the thick seam of your jeans. Splats of saliva and precum dripped onto the floor as Yeonjun struggled to not ruin your throat, but his hips were hard to control the longer he went.

"Gonna…cum-" He gasped and your hands flew to his butt, holding him in place and he came down your throat. The whine he let out as his head tilted back in relief was literally orgasmic. Breathing hard as you pulled off, you cleaned his still slightly hard cock off and sat back, grinning up at him.

"I…I wasn’t really prepared…" He drifted off and you nodded in acknowledgement.

"I’m on the pill, don’t worry about it."

"You sure?"

"Yeonjun if you don’t get inside me soon, I might start begging. I'm already on the floor." You blinked at him.

"I would like to see that, but a different day. Come up, pretty girl." He helped you stand and turned you around, so you faced the wall again. He pressed another kiss to your cheek as his front pressed to your back, his lips meeting your neck as he placed kisses there, his fingers ghosting over your ribs. You could feel his cock hardening again in the cleft of your ass and you knew he would fill you in the best way. As his tongue ghosted over the ridge of your ear, he wrapped his arms around you entirely again, his right hand cupping your covered breast, the other resting on your stomach above the waistband of your shorts.

"That door locked?"

"They all are." You exhaled, his hand slipping under your bra and tweaking at your nipple. His other hand deftly undid your button and slid his hand into your shorts. You gasped as he rubbed over your cunt through your underwear, the fabric already soaked.

"How long have you been like this, hm?" His voice in your ear made your thoughts fuzzy.

"Fuck, since I first saw you." You admitted and he groaned, burying his nose into the crook of your neck.

"(Y/N), don’t say things like that…" He whined and you chuckled a bit, but you nearly choked on your own air when his hand buried in under your panties, a long finger pressing against your entrance. You exhaled at the sensation, and you groaned when his finger filled you up, deeper than you could ever get yourself.

"Your so wet, noona. Tight." His hips jumped a bit, grinding his cock into your covered back side. You whined when he added another finger, his palm grinding over your clit. He needed to get you more prepared to take his cock. As his fingers scissored inside of you, you reached your own hand back and palmed his dick to full hardness and Yeonjun grunted at the feeling.

"Get inside me, now, please." He complied and you pouted at the loss of his arms around you, his hot skin pressed to yours. He maneuvered behind you; you could hear him take his shirt off as you did yourself. Before you could, he unhooked your bra and he cupped your breasts with his hands, his bare chest against your back. Pressing against you, he stepped forward till the cold wall hit your front, his hands shoving your shorts off. Feeling him bare behind you was thrilling, and while you really wanted to turn and look at him, ogle him, you needed him inside fast. The soft sound of your shorts falling to the floor hit your ears and you whined when the head of his cock rubbed through your folds.

"Oh, god," you gasped as he started to press in. He groaned as your wet, raw heat surrounded him. Yeonjun’s dick stretched your walls with a delightful burn and your nails scratched against the wall futilely, you had to rise onto your tip toes.

"Oh, so good." He groaned once he was inside you all the way. It felt like he was in your throat, he fit inside so deep.

"Fuck, Yeonjun!" You exhaled harshly trying not to clench around him too much, but he felt so good, and he hadn’t even moved yet. Honestly, even if he just stayed like that you would probably eventually cum from him filling you alone. His arms looped around you again, but his hold was more possessive than before. One arm wedged between your breasts, his hand holding the base of your throat. Gently, though, just to secure you. You wouldn’t even mind if his grip tightened a bit…The other arm lay lower, his right hand resting on your left hip, and you braced yourself against the wall with your hands.

"Move, please." You mewled and he took a slow first thrust, the office so quiet that you heard a drop of your wet hit the floor underneath you. Hopefully, you remembered to clean that up later.

"C-can I? I don’t think I can go slow." His nose rested behind your ear, nuzzling it.

"Then don’t. Just fuck me, Yeonjun." You breathed the words out, before his next thrust took it away. Your eyes rolled back as he snapped his hips hard, the thrust was shallow but hard. You threw your head back, it rested on his shoulder as he began to rail you into the wall. Starting to lose strength in your legs, they began to shake, your calves burning from holding yourself to be the right height in that position. He must have noticed because he let you go so you could readjust. You ended up bent at the waist, making a ninety-degree angle. Your hands still held you up against the wall and his hands instead went to your hips. He had to thrust down some, changing the angle at which his cock battered the back walls of your cunt. The head of his dick rubbed over your sweet spot over and over and his thrusts got harder, faster. You wanted to scream from the feeling of him nearly leaving you empty before filling you entirely with a quick snap of his hips. Your head was bowed, your arms above your head, nails digging into the painted brick, chipping it off in some places. Sweat dripped from your forehead, hitting the floor along with the drops from your slick cunt. Yeonjun’s thrusts got sloppier, hard but shallow, his own hands resting on the wall about yours.

"I’m going to cum noona." He grunted and you were close yourself.

"S-s-same-" You managed to get out.

"Ah, fuck!" He was letting out little whines along with you. With one more hard thrust, he set off your orgasm, your walls clenching his cock so hard he fell over as well. You mewled as he pumped you full, your stomach felt hot, but you wanted more. If he didn’t keep going you would have to go home and dig your vibrator out to charge it.

"Shit, sorry!" He apologized, pulling out. You nearly collapsed, your legs like jelly, and he wrapped an arm around you to catch you, then helped you stand straighter. More drops hit the concrete floor, most likely your combined release falling from your still pulsing cunt. Glancing over to him at your side you finally saw him fully. God, he was absolutely divine…and still half hard.

"I can keep going, but I cannot keep standing." You panted, resting your forearm on the wall, then your forehead on your arm.

"Are you sure?" He leaned in and nibbled over your ear as he whispered into it.

"Fuck, yes, please." You nearly keened and he huffed, before wrapping his other arm under your legs and picking you up. You squeaked as he turned around to lay you on the table. The cold plastic was not the most comfortable perch, but you knew that it would be easier to clean than the couch in the break room. Finally, you could fully see him, your eyes drawn to his cock that was quickly getting fully hard. Honestly, you were glad he kept his shirt on lifeguarding because you would have jumped him otherwise. He was so gorgeous, his body proportions absolutely perfect along with his face.

"You need a break or are you ready?" His hands cupped your thighs, pulling them up so you could wrap your legs around his waist.

"I’m ready, hurry up!" You insisted and he laughed, his cock meeting your pussy again. Unlike before where he eased into you, he fucked into you hard immediately and your shoulders twitched, back arching.

"Yeonjun~" You felt your mind going numb, the pleasure tingling through your body. He smirked at your decreasing sanity, proud that he was the one doing it to you. You yelped when he pulled you closer to him, farther down the table. He leaned over you, his hands meeting yours over your head, holding them in his. Yeonjun’s lips found yours again and he swallowed every little moan you made. Whining again as his lips left yours, you wanted to complain, but he laid kisses from your cheek to your jaw, then your neck. He wanted to leave a mark or three but with the heat and working, you wouldn’t be able to hide them. Another time. He slowed his thrusts suddenly and you were going to protest, but his hands looped over your thighs again and he forced a squeal out of you when he folded your legs up, your ankles by his ears. He smirked and you were glad for your flexibility, and his hips began to pummel yours, the table shaking under you. When his eyes left your cunt, swallowing his fat cock, and went to your face he chuckled. You were gone, cock drunk and drooling. He had no idea you would get that far gone, not with your confident and bold personality. You were going to drive him crazy.

"Feel good, pretty girl?" Yeonjun stood back up straight, your legs coming off his shoulders so he could notch your knees over his elbows. Each roll of his hips allowed his pelvis to hit your clit, and he would grind hard into you as deep as he could each time. Your moans got louder, your walls pulsing and clenching again; he could tell you were nearly there.

"Yesss~"

"My cock really that good?"

"Oh, fuck, yes!"

"Couldn’t wait for me to fuck you, huh noona?" His words went straight to your head and cunt, but you weren’t able to say much back but ‘yes’ and nonsense babbling.

"I should always take second shift, wait till everyone else leaves, then fuck you on every surface in here~" He sighed with a slight moan as your pussy fluttered around his cock.

"You would like that, huh noona?"

"Fuck, yes!" You mewled and his thumb met your clit and with one stroke you fell apart again.

"Ah, ‘Jun~!" You clenched him tight, and he felt your cunt overflow and drip from your release. He wanted to hold back, but you felt so good, he was a goner when your legs wrapped tighter around him, not letting go.

"Fuck, I’m gonna cum again." Yeonjun groaned, pumping his hips hard two more times and spilling inside of you again. He fell forward, catching himself on his hands by your head. As your highs came down you pondered how you were going to get home with your shaky and numb legs.

"I’ll," he chuckled, "I’ll help you clean up." He pulled out of you, and you keened at the loss.

"Stay there a sec." He went and got some paper towels and cleaned himself before putting his shorts back on. You closed your eyes, breathing hard and you flinched when he brought a damp towel to your core.

"I make a mess?" You laughed, nearly sounding drunk.

"Pfft, no I did." Yeonjun chuckled and when he decided you were properly cleaned up, he helped you sit up on the table. You wobbled a bit sleepily and he brought you your discarded clothing.

"You’re so sweet." You cooed which made him smile, then he placed a soft kiss on your forehead.

"We also made a mess on the floor and over there…" He grimaced jokingly and you laughed yourself. Despite your shaky muscles, you were able to get dressed and help him clean. You disinfected just in case since it was a public area. It was nearly eleven by the time you were ready to lock up and leave and he stood beside you as you locked the gate.

"(Y/N)?" His voice was soft, and you turned to look at him.

"I just…I understand if you don’t want like…" He licked his lips, nervous, "I won’t just stop talking to you now that you let me- I mean-" He was stammering, his face red and you thought it incredibly endearing. He had literally just rearranged your insides and was now bashfully rambling. Stepping closer, you grabbed his hands where it was fiddling with his bag strap.

"Yeonjun, you are so sweet. If you want to just stay friends?"

"No! I mean…I want more but if you don't don't push yourself." He cleared his throat, looking intensely at your linked hands.

"I'm not pushing myself." You smiled up at him and his nerves flew away, his lips pulling into a smile himself.

"Thank God."

-> Taehyun <-

-> Soobin <-

-> Hueningkai <-

-> Beomgyu <-

Masterlist

[boba-beom]

❦ With You | K.TH

pairing: taehyun x f!reader

genre: fluff, bestfriends to lovers | oneshot

warning(s): senior year high school, set in 1984, relationship to be established, confessions, ft. the rest of txt, taehyun’s a lil nervous <3, yn a little bold, kisses.

summary: before the school term comes to a close for the festive holidays, your best friend of four years had asked you to go to the winter ball with him. however, there’s one more thing he wants to tell you.

wc: 2.3k

note: inspired by the last scene in s2 ep9 of stranger things. and the song ‘Every Breath You Take’ by The Police was perfect after I remembered taehyun talking about it and playing it on one of his vlives at the time :’) this was also written a while ago but I edited it a little and wanted to post this as my last taehyun fic to end tyun month :> thank you again @fairybinie for beta reading and for the advice 🫶🏼

SHORT PLAYLIST (recommended)

the hazy, vertical streaks from the moonlight passes through the open blinds, caressing over taehyun's face as his sister, hyunjae, straightens out the frills of his collar and adjusts the flimsy ribbon after. he turns his body, puffing in front of the mirror, loosening the tension and nervousness in his wrists, tilting his head left and right.

"aw, my not-so-little brother knows how to clean up well." hyunjae coos, lightly patting the top of his head.

"agh, you're gonna mess up my hair!" he swats her hands away, caving over his hair before fidgeting with the front pieces of his hair, making sure they would stay in place until he meets his date.

"so... are you gonna ask her today?"

the young male adjusts his outer coat, brows scrunching as he looks at his sister through the mirror, "ask who?"

"yn? aren't you going to ask her to dance with you tonight?" she sighs as she pinches the bridge of her nose, thinking how her brother could possibly be lacking in basic knowledge of making the first move—especially with his crush.

if there's one thing taehyun is good at, it's definitely being oblivious towards any female kind and their attempt to flirt with him. he's never dated, he's only confessed to one girl in middle school when he gifted her a heart-shaped box of chocolates. she accepted them, but refused to be his valentine, and since then he's never wanted to embarrass himself like that again.

"of course I'll ask her to dance with me. she's my date anyway, and I should tell her then..." he trails his words, thinking about what he would say once he finds the right moment later on in the evening, "I just hope a good song comes on." as cliché as that may sound.

hyunjae sees how anxious he is as he lets out a deep sigh. both their heads turn towards the open window from the sound of a car's triple beep in front of their house. the loud noise was soon followed by a few male voices shouting out his name, almost chant-like.

"good luck, 'lil man." hyunjae reaches out to pat his hair once again, but misses as he ducks and opens the front door.

"ayeeee, someone looks dashing tonight!" beomgyu screams with the upper half of his body out of the window. the other three males starts cheering and whistling as taehyun approaches the car with long, confident strides.

opening the door behind the driver's seat, he sits comfortably as he looks at the rest of them, "not too shabby yourselves guys." he chuckles, buckling his seatbelt.

"how are we feeling, boys?" yeonjun laughs, excitement clear in his voice. he briefly locks eyes with taehyun through the rear mirror, expecting him to answer the question.

"i just hope she doesn't reject me." taehyun speaks without hesitation. kai and beomgyu looks at him with their brows stitched together.

"are you kidding me? i'm sure she won't reject you, it's yn we're talking about." beomgyu sighs.

"and what's that supposed to mean?"

"that you have to be really dense to think she has no interest in you." soobin butts in, looking back at him from the passenger seat.

"he's book smart, just not girl smart." kai joins in.

"okay, okay. that's enough guys. i'm sure our boy can manage." yeonjun cuts off their bombarding banter towards taehyun.

taehyun rolls his eyes at his friends' continuous teasing, completely ignoring yeonjun. the topic for conversation slowly went round to each person—and about their dates—until they arrived at the venue for the winter ball.

the group of five made their way towards the entrance, keeping their eyes out for their dates. it was convenient that majority of their dates arrived together, as expected when asking people from the same friend-group. taehyun watches his friends greet their dates and entering in with linked arms, their outfits complimenting each other's nicely.

"we're gonna go ahead." soobin firmly pats taehyun's shoulder as he nods in response.

a few minutes passes by and taehyun is still standing by the entrance, yet his posture never fails him. he looks down at the cuffs of his black dress shirt, adjusting them out of restlessness, in the hopes he hasn't been turned down.

"taehyun? sorry i'm late." a soft voice speaks.

from the cuffs of his sleeves, he sees a shiny pair of white, mary jane pumps pointing towards him in his line of vision, less than half a meter away from his own black, dress shoes.

lifting his head slowly, his eyes travel up the figure in front of him; skin-toned stockings visible until the thin layer of white chiffon material just about lingers by the knees. he looks up to admire you in your entirety, a sweetheart neckline accentuating the length of your neck with a dainty pearl necklace sitting prettily at the base of your neck.

"yn," his voice almost breathless, "you look beautiful."

you chuckle at his compliment, looking down at the ground before your fingers subconsciously fiddles with the pearl strap of your purse.

"you don't look too bad either, kang."

he smiles at your implied compliment, holding out his arm for you to take, "shall we?"

as soon as the both of you walk through the tinsel curtain, you're met with snowflake-shaped lights projecting on the ground. your peers' arms are linked with their dates while they meet up in groups and you do the same.

you meet with a few friends, separating yourself from taehyun while he went to see his friends too. long conversations were made, and pictures were taken at the open photo booth that the school had hired for the evening. there were props and multiple photos could be taken so you were willing to try it out.

taehyun is sitting at his designated seat on the same table as his friends, locking eyes with you for a split second from across the room before you start making your way through the sea of students.

as you make a bee-line towards him, your eyes are trained on him, getting closer and closer. his side profile was stunning; his sharp jawline in full display as he slightly leans over the table to talk to yeonjun opposite him, and with every laugh, you saw the occasional appearance of his sharp canines which showcased his dimple.

in your four years of high school, you never found anyone just as handsome as kang taehyun himself. and you granted yourself lucky to have him as your best friend.

you approach his seat, resting a light hand on his shoulder until the boys stopped talking, causing taehyun to look up at you.

"hey, want to take a photo together over at the photo booth with me?" the freckles of light from the disco ball sparkles over your face, looking almost angelic as he gets up on his feet.

"that's our boy!"

"go taehyun!"

you hear beomgyu and kai exclaim along with the others as you take ahold of taehyun's hand in yours. taehyun could only pray that you don't look back at him because only then would you see how enamoured he is by you. the heat from his cheeks quickly spread and made its way to the tips of his ears—he's in too deep.

opening the curtains to the photo booth, he picks up a white feather boa and loosely twirls it around your neck accompanied with a quiet laugh from you. in return, you pick up a black masquerade mask for him to wear, only making his full attire look more complete than it already was.

you continue shuffling, making sure you were in the middle of the photo booth, "come closer." you speak up, gently tugging on his sleeve making him shuffle closer to you until he reluctantly resorted to resting his hand on the small of your back.

"i- is this okay?" taehyun was always wary of his hand placements, you knew that and you were more than comfortable with being this close to him.

"perfect, these photos are gonna look really nice." you're smiling at the photographer, posing your wrist as you splay your palm open and the end of the boa hanging off it. all while taehyun looks at you in awe. you've always been one to try new things, even putting yourself out there and not giving a single care to what people think of you. he found that quality admirable, really.

after a few more pictures were taken, and keeping the same props, it was time for the last photo.

"tyun, look at me." you whisper.

he turns his head to face you, your faces within centimetres apart until your noses brushed against each other. you hold the end of his chin still with your index finger and your thumb, closing your eyes, he mimics you until you feel the softness of his lips against yours, it was almost euphoric.

you just kissed your best friend.

the sound of the photographer snapping the last shot interrupted the momentary trance you were both in, the flash visible through your eyelids.

"we'll get them later, let's go." you pull back and hold his hand again. he was trailing after you while you make your way towards the bowl of fruit punch.

"so how did your photos go?" beomgyu comes into view beside you, passing the both of you already full cups of the punch.

taehyun stays silent, taking a sip from the drink while his other hand is still holding yours.

"it was fun, i think you should try it out. i heard there's more props if you ask the photographer." you take a sip from the drink, keeping eye contact with beomgyu while you watch his eyes flick back and forth between you and your date.

"if you say so," he says, walking away with a small smile tugging at his lips.

a new song fills the room, a song that only released last year. you remember hearing it a few times on your parents' radio and it being one of the most replayed songs since it was released. your peers and their partners gather onto the dance floor, girls with their arms draped over their date's shoulder, and some guys nervously resting their hands on their date's waist.

perfect. taehyun clears his throat before taking away your cup and placing both of them down on the closest table. he lifts a hand up, the other tucked behind his back as he asks, "yn, would you perhaps want to dance with me?"

you observe the way he's slightly bowing in front of you, your heart fluttering in your chest from his chivalrous gesture. "perhaps I do, kang." you say as you accept his hand, leading you onto the empty spot on the dance floor.

the lights dimmed down a little more than before, only the ambient lighting from the decorations and the disco ball reflected onto your faces. taehyun's hands were fumbling with the material around your waist, you could tell he was nervous but you wanted him to be comfortable with you like he always is. the only difference this time is that you're both dressed up and he hardly ever sees you dressed up.

"hey, ease into it. left then right, remember?" you reassure him after he visited your house one time and your older brother teased you about dancing with taehyun. your mother made sure to teach both of you the basics.

you hold onto one of his hands on your waist, letting his palm relax against you then letting go and bringing yourself closer so you could rest and bend your elbows over his shoulder, your temples leaning against each other.

a couple of minutes into the slow dancing made you feel so weightless. the strong scent of his cologne lingering by your nose, his soft and controlled breathing in front of you just felt so comforting. your faces were centimetres apart, no different than before, but both your eyes were briefly shut.

"yn?" taehyun speaks up softly, and you hum back in response. "there's something i've been meaning to tell you."

"mhm? and what is that?" you pull back to look at one of the features you love on his face. it's just one of those instances where you capture how his eyes could quite literally encapsulate the entire galaxy if possible.

"as a best friend, you're amazing, truly." he starts. you huff out an airy chuckle with your fixed attention on him. "but I want to get to know you beyond that. I really like you, yn. more than words could ever explain."

your eyes soften from his confession, knowing this was your best friend since freshman year and without a doubt, you were feeling quite the same.

"can i be your boyfriend?" he asks, head slightly tilting down to read your expression.

you pull him towards you, closing the proximity until your lips were just about grazing against each other. "i would love you to be my boyfriend, kang taehyun." you whisper before closing the gap and giving him a longer kiss than at the photo booth. he securely wraps his arms around your waist, chests colliding until your lips part.

"you really thought after i kissed you back there i'd say no?" you nudge his shoulder, catching his cheeks flush the smallest pink hues you could see.

"i really wasn't sure what that was, but if it's a kiss from you then i don't really mind." he shrugs nonchalantly.

"so i could say no as long as i give you kisses?" you tease him back.

"well... not quite, i want both." he shyly smiles with his dimples caving in his cheeks.

you peck his cheek in response to comment, "you really are cute, kang taehyun."

taglist: @bb-eilish @iggynor4 @ericyjun @bluejin0812 @luvsoobs @yeonyeonyeonjun @junniieesbby @kyrkitten @hyuntaena @day6andetcetera @amethysts-1620 @gorechoi-backup @dainsleif-when-playable @felix-housewife @choiwrld @yjusei @feyregels @dearkamal @ahnneyong @potaeto-writes-on-wp @wccycc @lizdevorak @fairybin @laylasbunbunny @acaiasahi @ttyunz @cha0thicpisces @vatterie @yunkiwii @prodsh00ky @ashxxgyu @onlyforgaeul @aprilisque @ja4hyvn (send me an ask if you would like to be part of my taglist while I fix my form).

© boba-beom ; all rights reserved. do not repost, copy, alter or translate in any way or platform.

[maritiiny]

Minsung fanfic recommendation part 2

I'm back with my monthly minsung recs > <

again, please always read tags and every story here has mature content!

Hoodie Season by Teasweet - every time jisung wears minhos thing (hoodie) minho goes crazy and jisung as the biggest brat he is uses this for his own good. (the author has locked profile for those who isn't registered in ao3 so if you don't have account txt me on Twitter @.maritiiny and I'll give you pdf)

One too many drinks by ReadingCandle - oh, oh! This one was my absolute favourite. I love it when two dummies in love instead of talking about their feelings they hook up with others to make them jealous. and minho let's jisung to be that kind of dummie until he isn't and read to find out what happens next!

Ruining the Frat Boy: A Guide by Lee Minho by hanahneedssleep - I never mentioned it but (i did millionth times) i LOVE when top seems softie and comes out as absolute maniace lol. frat boy jisung thinks he can top minho but ends up under the absolute mercy of lino (mind you author said it was their first fic and it's one of the best fics i ever read)

Super Bowl by foxiyeny - read it at your own risk T^T misnug public sex in front chan and binnie hehe (running away)

Let your love walk in by adisadastra - you know that jealous jisung is as hottie as jealous minho. from platonic blowjob to non-platonic sex.

Amongst the flock by Mntsnflrs - oh this one is angsty and it was little too angsty for me since i'm too sensitive erm... but yeee happy ending! at was really well written.

Would you make a wish on my love? by brittleheart - oh seems like i read some angsts (I usually don't) but if i did it was worth it! misunderstands and once again not talking about their feelings :( but again happy ending guys!!

The cat('s) boy by inariwife - ok forget angst do yall like hybrid fics? if you don't let me tell you something LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING! some maybe be cringe but this one and other I'll recommend later is good. did i ever lied? no! so read my lovely cat hybrid possessive minho and confused sungie fic!

Marking my territory by teorema - i never liked ex to lovers again but with minsung it starts to get my favourite trope. sungies jealous ex marking his territory that's it, that's the fic!

No more secrets by minsungstreet2514 - promised second hybrid fic where minho who hates to think he is owned by someone is in an open relationship with jisung and it takes one look on sungie's ex sex buddy, model like hyunjin to realize maybe it's not that bad to own and be owned.

happy reading! ><

see yall soon ( i hope)

[enharcv]

so it goes | park jongseong

THE SWIFT PROJECT : VOL 2 [ PARK JONGSEONG ]

pairing  ‣  brother's best friend+ racer!jay x it girl + best friend's sister! fem reader ft enhypen's hyung line , wooyoung & san (ateez) , yeonjun (txt) , seeun (stayc) , karina (aespa)

genre  ‣  brother's best friend trope , childhood friends to lovers , fluff , slight angst

warnings  ‣  profanities , arguing (not much) , not proofread , mentions of alcohol , jay getting a black eye (slight violence) , illegal racing (idk help) , lots of flirting + maybe slow burn , lots of getting cock blocked , sunghoon being a dick at times , hookup scene , reading is rushed (i was dying to get this fic off my wip list im so sorry).

rating  ‣  16+

wc  ‣  46k

a/n  ‣  HI LMAO. starting off with a very big apology for delaying this fic n starving y'all.. like this was due since april. it's been four months working on this fic n to make it up to y'all, here's a whooping 46k fic lolll! AND ALSO , thank you so so so so so so so so so much on 1k+ notes for chasing you ㅠㅠ!! truly im so greatful for it, so so grateful fr like i was so happy i was beaming the entire day when i found out we hit 1k+ on chasing you!!!!!!!!! as a thank you gift for making chasing you (y'all know i always go ALL out on jay fics) a hit, i gift y'all so it goes, volume 2 of the swift project, a whooping 46k (again!) fic!!!!!!! hope u guys have fun n enjoy reading!

playlist  ‣  so it goes...  - taylor swift , love me harder - the weeknd & ariana grande , chateau - blackbear , out of time - the weeknd , don't blame me - taylor swift , dancing with our hands tied - taylor swift , collide - justine skye & tyga , say it - tony lanez , or nah - ty dolla $ign & the weeknd , into you - ariana grande , trust issues - drake , slow down - chase atlantic , maps - maroon 5 , kiss & make up - blackpink & dua lipa , if i - seventeen , heartless - the weeknd , fallin all in you - shawn mendes, lily of the valley - daniel.

BEING IN THE SPOTLIGHT had always been the park's sibling thing. you and sunghoon had always been the top of everything, never second or last. 

whether it was in terms of popularity, looks, style, personalities, academics, sports, curriculum, etc— you both never lacked. 

and there were just never any flaws found in the both of you, the both of you were just perfect. 

so perfect that almost everyone wanted to be you, that even when sunghoon graduated everyone was truly so bummed that the school had lost their gem. 

not too sad because you were still left, another gem was still there. and with all the popularity that came, everyone wanted to be you. 

it was just something that's normal, every girl wanted you, every girl wanted you and every guy wanted you, every guy needed a chance with you. 

some would even go telling around that they did get you, rumors like that would often be heard once and then but you never bothered about it. 

because if it's not a real fact, and it's not something you did— it's not a problem, you couldn't care less. 

in the end, you're you and they're them, a bunch of losers and fans that want to be you so bad. it was something you've gotten so used to that it's old news and you don't bother about anymore. 

surely to the reputation, you also live up to your standards. you're strong on your beliefs wherein anything that isn't related to your academics, school, friends, family and curriculum, it's not important.

even if you did like someone, it's just some celebrity crush you'll get over in a week. it wasn't because you're not attracted to anyone, you already had someone else in mind. but that's besides the point. 

because, that didn't seem to convince sunghoon enough considering his stupid little brother agenda had always annoyed you where he has this overprotective thing over you when a guy enters the conversation they can kiss the chances with you goodbye. 

every single time a guy approaches your radar, sunghoon is in your business telling them to fuck off or he'll make their life a living hell. and sunghoon is definitely a man of his words. 

on time this kid in your grade just approached you to ask about something related to the class you both take together and it seemed like it just had to be the worst timing, sunghoon was just right with you. 

the kid literally almost pissed himself from the daggers sunghoon was shooting at him for looking at you more than 5 seconds and you genuinely just wanted to die from how embarrassing it was. 

the fact it happened more than just once just proves how sunghoon overprotective over his sister agenda wasn't leaving anytime soon. 

but now that he's finally out of high school and busy with college and his lifestyle there, you thought you would finally be free from his torment. 

read : you thought. 

sunghoon was regardless on your back no matter what, so you pretty much gave up on trying to get sunghoon snap out of it even though it was annoying. 

what else was even more annoying is that sunghoon didn't seem to trust his own friends around you. 

it would've been less annoying if he had just kept that whole overprotective agenda with random guys but his own friends were just ridiculous. 

perhaps it was because he knew how his friends were, the type of guys that he's always warned you about, the type of guys you had to stay away from no matter what. 

you could agree with that if it came to jake since his natural habitat is being deep inches into different girls every weekend and playing with every single female he could spot. 

but jay? you didn't think so. you knew jay hanging out with jake and your brother would have influenced him in a sort of way, which it did but he was still different from them.

he had his fair amount of hookups, flings and one night stands but you knew he was famous for never being tied down to a relationship. you figured it was probably because he doesn't do commitments and whatnot but maybe he's just less of an asshole compared to your brother when it comes to girls. 

you just find jay somehow more interesting than jake— jake is a great guy but jay just keeps you attracted to him in an unexplainable way. 

you're sure you don't have feelings for him, you don't do all these feelings stuff but, jay has something on you and you like to think it's just probably him being fine. 

besides they're all away in college now so it wouldn't matter, you'll get over it in no time (that's what you've been telling yourself ever since you were 11 but whatever that helps you sleep at night). 

it's been about a year and half now ever since you've seen them and ever since they've moved away for college. other than all the parties and mess they made when they were back home— you couldn't deny that you indeed missed their presence. 

you loved your friends and everything but being around your brother and his friends felt more like home to you.

so you were beyond overjoyed when your mom broke the news that they boys are finally coming back home for summer break. so overjoyed that you couldn't sleep at night, just few hours away from reconciling with your brother and his friends again. 

the entire time you were at school you couldn't wait for each period to end, you were so excited that you couldn't stop talking about the news to your friends. 

"god i can't remember the last time i went to a good party— like, all the parties i went to after the 02z left was literal trash and so lame, " wooyoung sighs, rolling his eyes and continuing to sip his chocolate milk. 

"right? so glad they're finally back in town, summer this time is gonna be the best." karina agrees, shaking her head cheerfully and turns to face you, who's already looking at her with a big smile. 

chuckling at your friends being so hyped and cheerful now that summer break is finally here and senior year is coming to an end— and, the 02z being back in town.

"you guys seem to be more excited than me at this rate."

seeun shoves your shoulder and gives you a mischievous smirk. 

"yeah and you, young lady," she says, narrowing her eyes at you. "you have no excuses now to bail out on us when we're going to parties— school's out, we don't want to hear anymore lame shit coming out of that pretty mouth, y/n."

the only difference between sunghoon and you is that, despite being in the centre of spotlight, you had always been more of a homebody and sunghoon was always the life of the party. 

so when it came to large gatherings like parties and stuff, you were always too occupied with academics to bother about those parties sunghoon threw. 

and the part where sunghoon and his friends are dying of hungover the next morning, you're not a big fan of it, at all. 

"seeun's right, it's finally summer babe! we need to set loose, it's the final year of high school are you seriously gonna choose to leave out all of the fun?" wooyoung asks as he shrugs so exaggeratedly. 

karina nods along, and smiles at you with the very well known smile of hers, the one that just makes you agree to everything she says. 

the rina charm, and unfortunately it works on you. 

"you're already always missing out on the race matches we go to, the ones that your brother and his friends are always at too!" karina whines, at this point she's begging you with pleading eyes.

"i just don't see the point in racing, the hype is too exaggerated." 

"girl, have you seen choi yeonjun?" wooyoung gasps at your statement, crossing his arms across his chest. 

"what? he's back in town again, too?" karina asks as she faces wooyoung with her jaw wide open. 

"yeah, he's back for summer break too which means races are gonna be held more frequently now." 

you just sigh loudly at karina and wooyoung conversing about the races they cannot get enough of, especially with whatever drama that goes on in there. 

one thing you know for sure is that sunghoon did not like choi yeonjun at all, even the sight of him gets the blood boiling. you personally never had any experience with him so you're not sure about what's the hype with him or what's the beef your brother has going on with him. 

whatever it is, you hope he just doesn't get into any messy trouble with yeonjun and ruin the summer for himself and everyone else. 

"so, i was saying— y/n you can't miss out on any fun and i mean it." wooyoung demands, pushing karina aside and ignoring her as she begs wooyoung for more news about yeonjun. 

her massive crush on choi yeonjun was showing, but that was every other girl in belift high, you guess. 

"fine, whatever you guys say." you nod, agreeing to wooyoung and the rest. 

"seriously girl, just let loose and have the best fun you can, you only live once as a teenager, high school will never happen again." wooyoung says and pouts at you with his hand plastered on his chest so dramatically. 

"you need to shut the fuck up, that was so corny." seeun says and bursts into laughter with karina. 

well she wasn't wrong entirely, wooyoung has quite a knack for being so dramatic for no reason at all. 

"seriously, y/n? you too?" he sulks, seeing you joining karina and seeun laughing at him. 

"wait! no, wooyoung—" you call out the half blonde half black haired boy as he gets up and leaves, sulking. 

"you better go after him, you started this!" karina says, slapping seeun's arm and pushing her off the bench. 

you just wave seeun a goodbye when she leaves whining after wooyoung, in hopes he'd get over it. 

"you should get going," karina chuckles, and gets up with her bag slinged over her shoulder. 

you completely forget your brother and his friends arrival, too engulfed into the conversation with your friends. 

"oh yeah, i almost forgot." jumping over the bench, you grip onto your bag and walk the opposite way as you wave at karina.

"see you rina!" 

the walk back home was quite nervous for some reason. you found it weird you were feeling this way, it was really just the same three people you practically grew up with, so being nervous shouldn't even be in your system. 

somehow the closer you got to your residence, your heart was beating against your rib cage in nervousness. 

the familiar car parked in front of the front yard gave you the chills and the excitement being mixed with nervousness was making you light-headed. 

entering your home you see your mother walking down the stairs with a big smile at you. 

"are they back already?" you ask and take off your bag in a rush before heading into the living room right away. 

"what? were you hoping we weren't gonna come back?" a voice pops up from the corner and there was the cocky tone in the voice that your recognized all too well. 

"hoon!" you gasp, engulfing him into a hug with big smiles plastered on each other's faces. sunghoon chuckles and gasps for air jokingly when you wrap your arms around him so tightly. 

"you're gonna kill me, y/n!" sunghoon whines, tapping your arm when you pull away with a scowl. 

"what a way to greet your sister that you haven't seen in a year and plus right? the best brother award must belong to you." you say, scoffing and rolling your eyes when he smirks with a proud expression on his face. 

"that award has always been mine, you're just too late to acknowledge that." he says, cocking his eyebrow as he smiles at you. 

yeah, you definitely missed him so much. 

"seriously? not even a second after the sibling reunion, you guys are already fighting." 

you turn around to see jake coming out from the kitchen, striding his way towards you with a big smile.

"jake!" 

pulling you into a hug, you melted into his embrace and taking in the feeling you missed oh so much. 

"cut it out now," sunghoon interrupts, pulling you apart from him making you and jake whine in annoyance. 

what was sunghoon without keeping you off limits from his friends right?

"dude im finally seeing her after more than a year— are you serious right now?" jake scoffs jokingly, whining at his best friend. 

"well you can see her," sunghoon says, nodding his head towards you. "but keep your hands off her." 

"even if your hair changed, that overprotective brother in you definitely didn't." you grunt, tearing your gaze away from jake and hoon to the figure standing by the kitchen, a small smirk on his face as he watches the ongoing quarrel. 

eyes scanning you up and down, he pushes himself off the wall and walks over to you and the rest, hands in pocket and smug expression plastered on his pretty face. 

you're stunned, you weren't going to lie. 

natural black did wonders on him, and wonders as in making you feel so giddy the moment your eyes laid on him. 

you didn't ever know how gorgeous someone could look like in jet-black hair, jay pulled it off so effortlessly— he looked even more better than he was in blonde. 

if that wasn't enough to hold you back from almost letting your jaw hit the floor from seeing him, jay has gotten a lot more broader and you wonder if he's been hitting the gym in the past year because the outlines of his biceps and muscles looked more defined. 

your eyes just couldn't leave his just as his couldn't leave yours. 

you looked just like he could remember but more— breathtaking. senior year has definitely played a big part on how much you've matured over the year, you look more pretty and hot. 

"hey," 

"hi, jay." 

your voice has gotten deeper than he remembers, the high pitchy voice now replaced with an alluring voice that was truly taking everything in him to not get weak in his knees. 

nevertheless, pushing all the thoughts behind, jay just gives you a small smile and then faces away from you. 

you're not sure why the lack of attention or interaction with him gave you a small pang in the heart, not that it shouldn't have mattered. 

you paused to think, no way in hell did you consider wanting anything to do with him that isn't platonic— just because suddenly he showed up after a year and half being gone, looking a lot more fine and handsome, didn't mean he could be your summer fling. 

but you couldn't help but think about the possibilities of it happening, it seemed fun and thrilling. 

the mere thought of sneaking behind your brother's back and fooling around with his best friend didn't seem like too much of a bad idea at all— pretty much the thought of it gave you a sudden adrenaline rush although that could be such a betrayal to your brother from two people he trusted, his sister and his best friend.

with the sudden tension between you two and summer break starting, having a small fun can't possibly go wrong, _right_?

just a summer fling can't possibly be more than just a summer fling, and your friends were telling you to let loose, this could be your chance. 

if jay was down for it and you were, as long as you both are being discreet enough, not a single soul knowing about it besides the two of you (and maybe your friends), nothing can go wrong.

"we're gonna head out for a moment, it's been awhile— we'll probably go around the town for a few hours," sunghoon tells your mother as he picks up the car keys with jake hot on his trail. 

"we'll be back before dinner, mrs.park!" jake agrees along with his friend, giving your parents his sweet cheshire cat smile. 

your parents could never not give in, especially when it comes to jake. how could they not, especially when the boys are finally back after a long time, they deserved to have some fun.

"alright i guess," she says before pointing at the jake and sunghoon. "be back home before dinner, you promised and be safe, boys." 

nodding like a bobbleheads, jake and sunghoon giving each other high-fives, they rush out the door. 

"dude, let's go!" 

you glance at jay, seeing him give a small bow at your parents before looking back at you and leaving with his friends to whatever mess they're about to create. 

the look he gave put few thoughts into your head, one being the one-million dollar question; 

he can be your summer fling, right?_

HOURS HAS passed by and your brother and his friends were still not home yet, although it was inching closer to dinner time in a few minutes. 

even your friends had stopped for 'checking on you' when in reality they were actually just here to catch a glimpse of the 02z. just too bad, their timing was wrong. 

helping your mom with taking the dishes to the dining table, as soon as you place it down on the table, the front door opens and you hear shuffling down the hallway. 

"we're home!" 

sunghoon enters the kitchen first, and immediately sits down at the table but your mom slaps his hands when he reaches for the food.

"AH!" 

"has college ruined your manners? go wash your hands, sunghoon!" your mom glare at him, immediately making him get up, sulking as he disappears into the kitchen to wash his hands. 

you stifle your laugh when you follow him into the kitchen to get more plates. 

"i'll knock off your teeth, stop laughing." sunghoon scowls, glaring at you in annoyance. 

sibling fights used to be the one thing you dreaded the most, but when sunghoon was away, it was the thing you missed the most although you had your peace. 

"yeah yeah as if hoon," you stick out your tongue at him. "how do you have no manners in your fossil age?" 

without a warning, sunghoon flicks off the water from his wet hands into your face making you shriek in surprise— and well, now your skin damp.

"PARK SUNGHOON!" you scream, taking water into your hands and flicking it on to him. 

"Y/N WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!" he whines back, and chases you around the kitchen to flick more water onto you. 

you're both fully drenched by the time your mother heads into the kitchen at the sudden commotion and screaming. 

"are you both serious right now?" she sighs loudly, slamming her hand against the cabinet on her left, stopping you both in tracks. 

"you both need to grow up, are you guys seriously gonna fight? sunghoon you're an adult, y/n you're old enough to think!" 

you stare silently at your mom, suddenly feeling embarrassed when jake peeks his head into the kitchen, behind your mom. 

"she started it first, you're always blaming me…" sunghoon trails off making you gasp at his audacity to blame you. 

"me?! he's lying, mom!" 

"both of you cut it out, i don't want to hear anything— get changed i don't want to see you both drenched AND CLEAN THIS MESS!" she scoffs, glaring at the both of you and then leaving the kitchen to attend to the guests. 

you both stand in silence before bursting out into laughter. 

"you're so annoying, gosh." sunghoon chuckles, as he kneels down to wipe the wet patches on the floor from flicking water at you earlier. 

"if anything you're the annoying one here, hoon." you retort back, chuckling when you kneel down next to him. 

you both clean up the mess in silence, before one of you speak up again. 

"i missed this," 

you look up at sunghoon and see him smiling at you softly. "the saying, you don't miss something until you can't have it anymore, it's true." 

"i was really homesick most of the time more than i was having fun back there— sure partying was always my thing, but i missed two among the most important things in my life." he continues but halts his actions when he  looks at you. 

you hum at him to go on, with a small smile.

"home and racing." 

"why was i expecting you to say it was me or something?" you snort, shaking your head a sunghoon being dramatic. 

"are you not my home, y/n?" 

you pause, looking at sunghoon whose face is now flustered, and eyes slightly glossy. 

"sunghoon," 

"i missed my sister the most, you know you mean the world to me more than anything— family will always come first to me." 

you stay silent, letting sunghoon pull you into a hug, and sigh. 

sunghoon was barely the one to express his affection towards you in this brother and sister relationship, it had always been you. 

so seeing sunghoon breakdown from being homesick after being away, you realize that the empty spot in your heart is filled the moment you fall into sunghoon's arms. 

it's so reassuringly comforting that when teardrops falling from your eyes surprised you. 

"i missed you too, hoon." you whisper, and close your eyes, letting the hug make up for all the moments you stood in front of his room when he was away, hoping he'd be behind it, waiting to yell at you for disturbing him. 

or when the days you'd come back home to a empty house when your parents were frequently out of town for business, you secretly hoped the house would've been filled with random people from school with sunghoon in the kitchen or upstairs chugging down his beer from beer pong, ready to be yelled at you for holding a party when you needed to study for s test you'd ace regardless. 

"we look so dumb right now." sunghoon laughs, pulling away from you and rubs his eyes and sticky cheeks from the tears. 

"it's alright, we're dumb and dumber." you say, chuckling when sunghoon agrues that he's just dumb and you're dumber. 

whatever that made him happy you figured. 

after cleaning up the mess and catching up, your mom was already scolding you guys for missing out on the entire dinner which resulted to you and sunghoon having a late night dinner as you both catched up on each others lives while the rest were already in their designated rooms for the night. 

when you slipped into bed that night, there was a lingering guilt feeling in your chest after the interaction with jay from the day and sunghoon's confession from earlier. 

sunghoon said you were one of the most important people in his life, and if you were to betray him and his trust, you'd never forgive yourself for it. 

but liking someone isn't a crime, if you were attracted to jay and if you were to have a fling with him regardless, there was nothing you could do about it

to say the least, you were lost in confusion and absolutely clueless before you drifted off into your slumber.

MAYBE SPRING was a better season compared to summer because you were drenched in sweat the second you stepped out of your house just to wait for wooyoung to pick you up. 

you and your friends finally decided to make plans for the first week of summer. ever since that night, you and the 02z barely met apart from seeing each other for a few seconds in the morning, so you figured they were busy for the time being, hence hanging out with your friends seemed to be much of an better idea than just staying home and rewatching the same series you've been watching for months now. 

but now that you're practically damp and sticky, staying home didn't seem much of a bad idea anymore. before you could head in, the familiar red mercedes stops in front of your yard, honking at you. 

"i can see you're here, there was absolutely no reason to honk, woo." you say, rolling your eyes when he winks at you. 

"my baby sounds hot when he's talking," wooyoung says when you close the door after getting in. 

you hear karina and seeun gag at wooyoung's over exaggeration about his car. 

"it's about fucking time you're finally obsessed with something that isn't choi san." seeun says without batting an eye at wooyoung as she continues to scroll on her phone. 

the silence wooyoung gave was loud enough to make the three of you look at him and gasp. 

"don't tell me….." 

"why else would i want to volunteer to take you guys to the pool party choi yeonjun is hosting?" he asks, leaning his arm on the armrest and puckering his lips out. 

"CHOI YEONJUN?" karina shrieks, well practically screams at the name of her crush being mentioned. 

seeun gives her a sigh, mentally regretting what she agreed to when wooyoung had texted in the group chat earlier if anyone wanted to hang out at a pool party. 

she thought he meant a personal one where it was just them, the thought of wooyoung taking his friends to a pool party where his crush was definitely not on her thoughts radar. 

"okay so we're going to a pool party hosted by choi yeonjun?" you ask as you take off your sunnies and point it at wooyoung. 

he nods. 

"see you guys tomorrow, i'm leaving!" you chuckle and turn around to leave but wooyoung is quick to lock the doors. you attempt to open it again but seeun sighing loudly again just made you give up. 

"y/n, don't be a party pooper!" 

"wooyoung do you not know how much trouble i can get into if sunghoon finds out?" you whine loudly, and let your head hit against the cool leather seat you're on. 

"it's about time you stop walking on eggshells around your brother," he says, and you give him a glare. 

"and—" he stops you before you could argue further, "i heard your brother and his friends are there so, it's probably not a big deal. maybe yeonjun and your brother are finally civil again or not why else would he be there?" 

wooyoung's right but your gut tells you to not trust him, he's always the root of the problem when the rest of you get into a mess. so speaking from you experience you don't want to trust him, but the sudden reminder that jay would be there somehow makes you cave in. 

besides, you did see the boys leaving a few hours prior to this in summer wear, so wooyoung also isn't wrong. 

karina gives you her pleading eyes and you sigh, nodding after a while. 

the two cheers while you and seeun sigh in worry and bored. 

you don't know what you signed up for, but you have a feeling it's about to be eventful for sure.

PEOPLE LEARN FROM THEIR mistakes all the time, some do after committing mistakes once more and some don't at all. you and your friends belong in the last category as for now and as long as you guys continue to be friends with jung wooyoung. 

trusting wooyoung was always a bad idea, even when it came to skipping out on classes, it was always the three of you getting caught and woyoung somehow getting away or when you accidentally got wasted as fuck and got an earful from your parents while wooyoung stayed back like a cat after being the one who brought you into the mess.

even if you guys ever managed to not get into a trouble it was by sheer luck and once in a blue moon.

however, now wasn't any different either— you, karina and seeun are contemplating on why did you guys think trusting wooyoung when he said a bomb ass pool party that's hosted by choi yeonjun was a good idea. 

the four of you stood stranded in the middle of the party house, glaring at wooyoung after he 'found out' that it wasn't actually choi yeonjun hosting the pool party, it was actually some other kid with a choi too— him mishearing now has lead to the four of you to be clueless in a random stranger's house pool party. 

"what do we do now?" you ask and receive no responses back except for karina still looking around hoping for a choi yeonjun to show up, wooyoung bored out of his mind and seeun being emotionless and annoyed. 

this wasn't what you would see at a pool party but your friend group has issues. 

"oh my," 

the three of you turn towards karina who's gawking at the backyard with her jaw slacked on her floor. 

"what?"

"oh my god y/n the 02z are here!" 

"what?" you shriek. you did expect something from karina but that definitely was not it. wooyoung gasps when he sees jake entering the house, wet and damp head to toe, like he had just come out from the pool. 

by the obvious looks of it, he definitely did— water trailing down his toned chest and his blonde but now light brown hair sticking to his forehead. from the opposite of the room, with everyone's eyes on him, his gaze meets yours. 

jake smiles when he sees you and immediately strides over as he continues to wipe his hair with the towel in his hand. 

"yo y/n, didn't know you were coming!"

"oh, uh me too." you laugh awkwardly, glancing at wooyoung who just gave you a small smirk before you looked back at jake again. "we just happened to be here, by mistake." 

jake just laughs in response as he looks at you, while karina is staring at him with two big hearts popped out of her eye sockets. 

"don't know what you mean but hope you guys have fun," he says, and looks around at your friend group. "i'm gonna go hop in the shower, see you around, yeah?" 

"yeah, cool, bye!" you wave at him and immediately turn back to your friends. 

"y/n be honest, do your brother's friends get a free pass to you that others don't?" 

"what the fuck is that supposed to mean?" you shriek at the sudden comment by wooyoung who's giving you the most mischievous shit-eating grin ever.

"you know, like, does jake sim have the hots for you or something because he could not stop staring at you, the whole entire time he was here." 

karina gasps, agreeing along with wooyoung as if she wasn't drooling at the sight of a shirtless, wet glistering jake sim which she probably could have developed a crush on a while ago. 

"karina i thought you were better than this, why are you even agreeing with whatever nonsense wooyoung just brews?" you ask, and scrunch your nose in disbelief when she sighs and reasons. 

"wooyoung is not wrong, the entire time i was staring at him, his eyes did not leave yours and those skimpy shorts of yours," she says, giggling at the way your face reddened. 

"you made a good choice today, love the shorts babe." 

you sigh disappointedly at your friends' delusions, "i hope i never hear that again because one, it's not true." 

"and two, on the worst case scenario— sunghoon will murder jake," you pause and point at yourself with your thumb facing tour way. "and me." 

karina sighs exasperatedly, "how is it any of your brother's business if you get bitches or not?" 

"yeah like at this rate your life companion is about to be your right hand flicking the bean, and you'll die a bitchless virgin." 

wooyoung nods, and gives you a mocking pout. 

"that's the worst that can happen to you, y/n. we mean it." he says, scanning your stunned state. 

"you guys worry too much about her, she's a grown woman that can fend for herself, neither you guys or her brother should even be this controlling and way too worried for her." 

the three of you look toward seeun who finally spoke up and staring back clearly annoyed which makes wooyoung scoff obnoxiously loud, as if it was on purpose. 

"forget about y/n for a second," he pauses for an instant. "what's up with you all day, all up in your feels and shit?" 

seeun furrows her eyebrows, confused why wooyoung was suddenly up her ass with an annoying question. 

but before she could retort back at wooyoung, you cut her off. "i think we should chill!" 

"yeah yeah! y/n, let's go by the pool!" karina cheers, grabbing you by the first and dragging you away from the two annoyed hotheads. 

"wooyoung's right though, seeun hasn't been in the best mood all day. she's been sighing and sulking," karina says as you follow her , hot on her trail. 

when you don't say anything and just hum, karina continues on, "especially when jake was eye fucking you earlier—" 

"he wasn't eye fucking me!" you gasp at her illicit way of expressing jake looking at you as he spoke, it was proper speaking courtesy (or perhaps your friends were right and you just didn't notice it!). 

karina gave you a lopsided smile and then continued as you caught up to her by her side while you guys made your way out of the sweaty bodies in the crowd.

"i was saying, especially when he was 'looking' at you earlier," she says, "seeun was literally shooting daggers at him." 

"are you serious?" you ask her, chuckling at the way she was over exaggerating it. maybe seeun is on the time of the month and wasn't feeling too well, or perhaps she didn't enjoy jake interrupting you four.

karina shakes her head at you, denying. 

"my gut and rina instincts says that……" she trails off with her index finger tapping into her chin while she pretends to think knowing damn well the answer is already in her head. 

"just say it!" 

"that seeun got jealous because jake was talking to you and not her!" 

you halt your steps, immediately tugging karina back due to you two holding hands and you stare at her, completely stunned. 

"i don't know if your speciality is being dense or— there's no way in hell that's possible," you say to karina, shaking your head at her statement. 

"what do you mean? you know she's always hyped when 02z hold parties and— and… you know!" karina whines, trying to justify her guess but she only gives it up when you laugh. 

"although you and i both know that's not true— but if it's actually true, then good for her, i'll keep my limits with jake for her sake, if that helps." you say and walk away last karina when you spot a vacant beach lounge. 

karina's instincts tingle again, but this time it indicates something's wrong, nevertheless she just pushes it to the back of her mind and heads over to you, deciding that minding her own business as of now seemed like a better option. 

as soon as you both settle down, you take off your clothes and now, in your bathing suit, ready to sunbathe due to the weather being just perfect for it. 

you turn to ask karina to give the sunblock moisturizer, but she's already somehow dozed off with a book on top of her face, covering her sleeping state. 

sighing, you pick it up yourself and sit back down to apply it on, but just as you were about to, your attention is caught by a person at the opposite of you in the pool, surrounded by a flock of girls. 

although you're sitting on the chair, you couldn't help but feel your knees weak when you see his skin glistering under the sun from the water and his hair just slicked back, a few strands sticking onto his forehead just like jake from before. 

jay's gaze remains on you despite the girls practically pushing themselves on him and you weren't going to lie, that definitely gave you quite an ego boost and made you feel some type of way. 

as if he's only focused on you even if the most charming girl wants him.

lips curling up into a smirk, you let out a breathy laugh when one of the girls slides her hand up his chest, pulling him onto her shoulder, like a hug but she's practically lying on him. 

nevertheless the gaze of the boy doesn't leave yours and somehow you feel like you're entitled to retort back, in a way.

two can play at this game, for sure. 

squirting the liquid from the bottle, you drop the bottle and spread the liquid on your skin, all while making sure you're doing it in the most sensual way possible. applying the moisture on your legs, slowly while remaining eye contact with him and a growing smirk in your face. 

what you didn't expect out of that action is for jay to push off the girls and swim his way towards you. that's was quick, you thought and pushed your hair forward onto your right side. 

"what do you think you're doing?" is the first thing he says and your smirk is immediately replaced with a scowl. 

"well, hello to you too jay!" you scoff, though that doesn't really seem to phase jay. 

"you're not answering my question," he says, leaning into the tiles and squinting his eyes at you. if he definitely wasn't being rudely annoying, you would've gave him a compliment or two because holy hell, was this boy fine as fuck.

"a—" 

"i asked what do you think you're doing?" he asks, cutting you off. you're starting to wonder if he had always been this annoying before. 

too bad as far as you could, he wasn't even this rude before, jay seemed to have a knack for it now. college must've changed him.

"why does it matter to you what i do?" you ask, rolling your eyes at him. jay glares at you sharply before, he jabs his tongue against his inner cheek. 

truth to be told, your heart wasn't the only thing pulsing. 

"well it does. don't do that again, especially to just anyone, y/n, im serious." he says, getting out from the pool with water just dripping down his body and it was truly taking everything in you to not gawk at him, shamelessly. 

"and i'm serious jay, there's nothing wrong with what happened, i was just applying sunscreen." you justify with the growing smile in your face that makes jay snap. 

"just applying sunscreen?" he asks, even copying the tone you used. "i don't think so y/n, looks like you were trying to do something else there."

"huh, really? and what would that be then?" you ask, gasping at the end to add a little bit of attitude as you laid back in your chair, looking up at him. 

"are you kidding me right now?" 

"oh, no! i'm not, why would i?" you gasp, faking a shock in surprise when he asks you the obvious. "i mean, you said i was trying to do something else and i have no idea what i was trying to do like you said, so please, enlighten me, jay?" 

jay bends down, leaning over close to you so he's on the same eye level as you. pressing down on your thigh, making your stomach do flips, he sighs. 

"don't press my buttons, y/n, i know what you're trying to do, don't." he says, with a small nonchalant smirk. 

"w—" 

"y/n." you never knew your name sounded so good before, and jay saying it has you tongue tied.

 "you'll tempt me too then." 

if that didn't leave you speechless, you certainly don't know what would and with that being plastered on your entire face, jay's smirk grows bigger and he just walks off, leaving you flustered. 

"f-fuck." you breathe out, bringing your hand to your face to feel so hot it was getting. your face was hotter than the weather itself, and that spoke for itself. 

when you got back home, you were glad the boys weren't back yet because you didn't know what to do if you ever saw jay again. you just didn't know how to react if you saw him again and the only thing that'll flash through your mind is the scene from the pool party before. 

how could something so meaningless like that affect you this much? you didn't know the answer yourself. 

after escaping from your friends, jay, your brother and coming back home, you just rushed to take shower and shut yourself in your room. 

only after a few hours did the boys finally come back home and you made sure to avoid jay every way possible, though you were already locking yourself inside your room. 

and the scene from the pool earlier just couldn't stop playing in your head like a broken cassette tape. 

like what the fuck was "you'll tempt me too then," even meant, because that was something that definitely had thinking about all night, not a single blink of sleep did you have tonight. 

you glance over at the clock on your nightstand for the 100th time tonight, showing it's just past three a.m. and your stomach starts rumbling. 

you missed dinner from trying to hide from jay, though your mom insisted on sending it to you upstairs, you figured you'd be fine just missing one meal. seems like it's not. 

slipping out of your sheets, you walked out of bed and headed downstairs when you were sure it was pitch black and eerie silent in the dark hours of the night. you see all the rooms were closed so that probably meant everyone was asleep, at least you hope they were. 

cause as soon as you walked into the kitchen, your soul almost left your body when you see a tall figure leaning against the cabinets, scrolling through his phone. 

"oh my fucking god," you gasp, holding onto your chest as your other hand flicks on the light switch, revealing jay looking at you with his eyebrows furrowed. "you scared me!" 

no reaction is on his face even when you approach him with another gasp from staring at his forehead. 

"were you at the tracks? what happened!" shrieking, you move his hand out of the way and examine the wound on his head. it was a cut, but it looked like it wasn't treated yet, that would lead to an infection. 

when he doesn't answer even when you move back, you gasp, once more time. 

"did you get into a fight?!" 

"it wasn't a fight, y/n." he replies, and puts his palm against the wound to hide it but only winces in pain when his hand makes contact with the wound. 

"then what the hell happened?" 

"why are you worrying?" he asks, shutting his phone off and placing it on the table, right next to you and turns his focus into you. 

you should be asking yourself the same question too, why exactly are you worried about him. sure you should worry, but worrying in this way, that wasn't necessary. 

but you still find yourself worrying as soon as you see the wound in his pretty face though you can just go on with your day, just gasping at first sight, telling him to treat it and a get well soon, would've been fine but— worrying up close, doesn't seem like what a normal person would do. 

"i'm not worrying! but the wound isn't treated, it can turn out worse, jay." you say, and turn around to go take the first aid kit but a hand wrapping around your arm pulls you back. 

"there's no need for that, it's just a minor injury." 

"did you get into a fight? there's no way a minor injury can look like this?" you ask him, looking up at his wound then back to his face. it annoys you that he's looking at you with a relaxed smile because you would be crying your ass out for that shit hurting like hell. 

"no— no, not a fight, again." he says, and lets go of your arm. "i just kind of fell," 

"fell?!" 

"y/n, it's not that deep, i'm fine." he says, stopping you from saying anything more. "really— and you said you're not worrying, to me this definitely looks like you're worrying." 

your mouth opens and closes when no words seem to come out of it, immediately embarrassing yourself. you hate yourself for getting easily flustered by him. 

you move away and awkwardly look away, avoiding his gaze that's burning into your back. you can practically feel his eyes on your entire body, and damn right you just had to wear the most skin showing nightwear. 

"what are you so late for?" he asks, breaking the tense atmosphere created in so little time. you turn around to look at him, and he's leaning against the counter, now with his elbows propped up as he looks at you. 

does this man know how fine he is?

"couldn't sleep," you replied and then remembered the reason why you even came downstairs in the first place. 

you walk past him to the opposite side of the kitchen, and tiptoe to reach the upper shelf to get the ramen packet you hid just a few days ago, from sunghoon just in case he tries to steal it all. 

too bad, that didn't end well for you because now you're struggling to reach the upper part of the cabinet and the fact jay is just watching you was making you embarrassed. 

you're not short— you have the average height for every teen your age, it's just the cabinet in the house is just way too high for you. and right now just had to be when your little stool is missing. 

jay is trying so hard to not stare at the way your thighs just keep on showing from how your dress is riding up each time you tiptoe more to reach the upper shelf. 

pushing himself off the counter, he strides to you and opens the cabinet above you catching you off the guard. his back against yours, and your back against his, you almost passed out at the feeling of his toned chest against your back the only thing separating your bodies are the thin clothings of yours and his. 

grabbing the packet, he doesn't move back yet instead he places the packet next to you, on the table making sure his skin is on yours as he places it down. it's making you light-headed, he knows what's he doing and you're liking it. 

"you could've just asked for help if you needed it." he says, but almost like an whisper to how close he is next to you. 

turning around, his arms traps you in between both arms on each side. the height difference was killing you but the way you're both looking at each other, it's filled with so much of tension. 

but two can play at this game, right? again. 

your lips turn upwards into a smile and your widened pupils turn into lazier ones, battling your eyelashes at him from underneath. you trail your hand up his firm chest, the ones that were on your back earlier.

and you lean closer, "very thoughtful of you," you say, smiling. "thank you, jay." 

with that, you push him aside and take the ramyeon packet with you to the stove area, leaving him completely flustered this time. if he thinks he can play you, you've done this million times before, you're definitely a pro. 

a scoff leaves jay before he crosses his arms and goes back to the counter and takes a seat on the lined up stools. 

just right before you put the noodles into the water in the pot, under the fire, you turn around to look back at the boy looking just right at you. 

"do you want to have ramyeon with me?" 

very crucial question that holds various of meanings. 

"sure—" 

"only on one condition." you cut him off. "get that wound treated." 

jay looks at you for a second and then takes off the leather jacket he has on. before replying, his lips curve into a smile as well.

"okay." 

A WOMAN AND A MAN eating ramyeon meant two things as far as you were concerned. one, just two normal friends or mutuals having a talk over ramyeon, just a simple thing!

another is two people on a date because person a asking person b to eat ramyeon with them means they're asking the other out, and if they say yes, then they're both going out. 

but what happened when you asked jay to eat ramyeon with him was really neither. because one, you're both not friends, nor are you two mutuals. you're both just— unlabeled, cause you both do not act like you're just friends. 

friends don't say things that keep them awake the entire night thinking about it, friends don't make each other feel things, giddy, and get butterflies. friends certainly don't just lean up to each other and flirt tremendously. 

jay is just your brother's best friend and you are just jay's best friend's sister. 

nothing more or nothing less, and that was killing you. 

the night you both are ramyeon together, nothing much even happened after that though you were secretly hoping for something to happen. 

apart from you both having a mild conversation on how life was after being away from home for college and how's senior life, nothing even happened. not even skinship, that's how it was. 

when you asked jay about his social life and dating stuffs, everything he replied seemed so new. you were expecting some type of 'oh nothing new, just sunghoon type of shit'. 

but instead you were stunned by his replies. 

" so how's college life? sunghoon hasn't mentioned any girlfriend yet," you ask, ignoring the small pang at the mention of jay having a girlfriend. sometimes you just be doing the damage to yourself.

"oh, well— i'm really not into that anymore." 

"you're gay?!" 

"y/n, no?" jay laughs at your sudden outburst, wishing he could capture the moment when your face is already puffy and the noodles halfway stopped between your pouty lips as you stare at him with big eyes. "i'm not gay, i'm just not interested in commitments at the moment." 

"oh," 

"why? are you disappointed?" 

"what? that you're not gay?" 

"no, that i'm not committed." 

"why would i be disappointed about that?" you laugh, waving him off and continue chewing on the noodles. 

but his next question makes you choke. 

"so you're glad i'm not seeing anyone?" 

"WHAT! YOU'RE JUST PUTTING WORDS INTO MY MOUTH!" 

jay laughs out loud but you smack the table and he lowers down his wheezing, to the point where he almost falls from the chair he's sitting on. 

"it's not funny, stop making fun of me." 

"okay, okay." 

"so, then you're not into dating and stuff and all?" you ask him, deciding to snoop in more. 

"not exactly, i just— don't want to date the wrong person, if that person is not who i want to spend my everything with then dating them is really not worth the time, though college is the time of your life where you just go crazy and have fun because you'll never experience the same thing again but to me, i want this part of my life to be as meaningful as the rest, so i want the right person to do it with." 

"did you steal that off a movie?" 

"y/n." 

"geez i was joking— but uh wow, that's great. i hope you get what you want, and be happy." 

"thanks," 

"so you're also saying your only partner at the moment is your hand?" 

"Y/N!" 

"WHAT IM JUST ASKING?" 

"why do you want to know about that!" 

"because you said you're not in—" 

"that doesn't mean i don't get laid now or then?" 

"oh i see….." 

"i have my fair amount of one night stands and you know.. but, i meant romantically when i meant committed." 

"wait so—" 

jay stuffs the poached egg into your mouth right when you open it to speak. your words become muffled and his giggles at you getting angrily cute, according to him!

"no more questions unless you want to get your little crush on me gone."

whatever jay was thinking when he said that night definitely has succeeded into having him invade your mind and staying there, rent free. he hasn't left your mind ever since, even when you're hanging out with your friends all you can think of is him. 

if you haven't realized it by now, jay has a charm for making girls starstruck on him. maybe now you can relate to all those girls that literally look at him with big heart eyes. 

"y/n!" seeun shoves your shoulder, snapping you out of your dilemma. 

"ah yes, you were saying?" 

"were you not listening?" 

you look away, remaining silent and seeun just sighs really loud. 

"you've been distracted ever since i came here!" she says, sulking into her seat and you turn to look at her. 

"i'm sorry, i just— something's on my mind and i can't get it out.." you trail off, pouting at her in an attempt to make her stop sulking. 

"so what is it?" 

"what's what?" 

"what's got you thinking like that, that you can't get it out of your mind?" 

seeun's question has you sighing as you fall back onto your bed. "im in confusion." 

"what's the confusion you're in?" she asks, leaning forward, eyebrows furrowed. 

"i think i'm attracted to jay, and i think I want him to be the summer fling i mentioned." when summer started, and when you guys all went on break, you and the rest had a conversation about

"what? y/n, what?" 

"i said i think i'm attracted to jay and i want him to be the summer fling." 

"are you serious right now?" 

"yeah? you already know i'm barely ever interested in anyone else and jay seems to be the only guy that has me feeling stuff and it's summer, like you said, a summer fling. he's a perfect candidate for that." 

"no y/n, why jay?" seeun asks, with a weird tone in her question that doesn't sit right with you for some reason. 

"why not jay?" you ask her, furrowing your eyebrows, confused as why it can't be jay. 

"you know better than anyone else that anyone related to your brother and his friends, or even his friends, is seriously bad news." she reasons. "jay is bad news, y/n, you know it." 

"at least he isn't as bad as hoon and jake, seeun…" 

"men are men, y/n. you know how they play girls, especially the 02z, things do not end well at all." 

"seeun i don't even like him romantically so i don't know what isn't going to 'not end well'." you say, shrugging. 

"sooner or later you will y/n, I'm warning you now, there's plenty of other people that can be your summer fling why does it have to be park jay?" she asks, shaking her head at you trying to justify your choice. 

"i won't seeun, i know it. it's just summer, it'll be over before you know it, and i'll be going to college after that, it could be great to get any experience before that too— and jay, doesn't seem like too much of a bad idea at all." 

"y/n…." 

"seeun! it's gonna be fine, you know how i am— why don't you trust me with this? you guys told me to let loose and have fun!" 

seeun sighs, knowing she can't talk you out of this especially when you're already hard on your summer fling being jay. she just doesn't get why it has to be him. 

"it's that i don't trust you, i just don't trust him." 

you chuckle at her, placing your hand on hers, and give her a reassuring smile. 

"just— just don't get into any trouble and when the damage is done, don't say i didn't say so…." 

after the talk with seeun, you both ended up just watching a movie and when dinner time came around, seeun left before the boys got back home. you didn't understand why she was so worked up over you wanting to have a summer fling with jay, although she was the most hyped when the news of the boys being back in town was mentioned. 

you figured it's probably because she's worried that you wouldn't be having much time to spend with the rest during the break because you'd be with jay— that seemed to be the only logical reason as to why she reacted like that earlier.

"you smell like tar, and smoke." 

sunghoon scrunches up his nose at the smell radiating off his clothes when he brought his jacket near his nose at your comment. 

"oh, i do." he coughs, shaking his head. 

"go and shower, it stinks!" you groan, pushing him towards the stairs when he threatens to come near you. "we can watch a movie after dinner!" 

"you can't bail out okay? I don't want to hear that you're sleepy—" 

"yes sunghoon, yes okay! just get rid of the smell!" you sigh, and he finally leaves without any other argument. you guess they might have been at the racing track from the smell and how exhausted they looked. 

as soon as they all got back, jake and jay rushed upstairs to shower and get ready for dinner while as sunghoon lingered around the kitchen where your mom and you were complaining that he smelt like tar and smoke. 

it always surprised you how your mom was okay with sunghoon racing, although it's dangerous and not safe at all. perhaps maybe because your dad used to be a racer back when he was in his young adult phase before he tied the knot with your mom and then decided to become an engineer.

you guess maybe your mom thinks he could turn out like your dad, that racing is just a phase in his life before he figured out that it's just a waste of time that he has potential for something else. 

you don't know, but whenever sunghoon does racing, your anxiety is always through the roof, hoping he comes back home safe and sound, not a single scratch on his body although that was impossible. accidents always came along with racing, this always gave you and your parents the scare of their lives. 

"let's eat!" your mother chirps, calling you to the table as soon as the boys get back downstairs to eat. 

dinner went by pretty much fine, except for the most parts you and jay's stares just couldn't leave each other, not that anyone noticed. everyone was too engulfed in your mother's cooking and the conversation going on to care about sunghoon's little sister and his best friend stealing glances too often..

"i'll pick the movie!" sunghoon says, rushing to the living room as soon as everyone's done with dinner. you help your mom with the dishes along with jake while jay and sunghoon went over to pick a movie. 

your parents excused themselves, saying they were too tired to join you guys for movie time, which you guys didn't mind at all. if anything, you guys preferred it that way. 

sunghoon ended up picking a basic rom-com,, he reasoned his choice with how this girl he hooked up with would not stop talking about the show, so he wanted to see what's the hype with it. 

you, jay and jake just agreed with his choice knowing if you guys were to disagree there wouldn't be any other choices to pick from. jake takes the longer couch, laying down almost immediately after winning a scissor, paper, stone with sunghoon. 

your brother sprawls out on the floor, with his blanket wrapped around his body and about four pillows surrounding him, including the one under his head too. 

that leaves you and jay, standing awkwardly having to choose but to settle down on the smaller yet regular couch. the couch isn't too bad, you can fall asleep on it, the only downside (pro)  about it is the limited space. 

it's like the couch is perfectly built for two people squished up together. you just sigh quietly and take a seat on one end while jay takes a seat on the other end. you two don't say anything for the most part when the movie starts. 

the basic storyline of the movie already has you zoning out, and staring at other objects around the living room halfway into the movie. when you turn to your right you see jay's side profile, and you're starstruck. 

you've seen his side profile before but the view you have now is just astonishing. somehow under the dim light of the living room, the only source of light coming from the large hd smart TV in your living room, he looks gorgeous to say the least. 

you notice his faint birthmark on his neck, realising how pretty and how perfect it described him. his relaxed yet clenched jaw from focusing on the movie you find yourself smiling at how pretty he looked with his hair down.

"is it interesting?" 

you blink and jay's looking at you with a small smirk as he leans in to whisper-ask you. 

"huh?" 

"you don't seem to find the movie much more interesting compared to my face," 

"uh— what, i wasn't looking," you say, clearing your throat from being caught red handed. "i just happened to turn to my right side and…" 

"and?" 

"and.. nothing, why are you staring at me?" you ask, turning to face him. 

"me? staring at you?"

"yeah, how would you know i'm staring at you then?" 

"what? i just felt like someone was staring, i turned and loo—"

"see? you were looking!" 

the two of you are stopped by a sleepy jake who groans at the two of you quarreling. 

"if you guys are going to argue, keep it down a little…." he slurs before falling back onto the couch and snoring away in his sleep. 

jay sighs at his friend and then turns back his attention to the TV while you're left looking between jay and a sleeping jake. guessing he's probably past the argument seeing that his eyes are glued to the tv, you just decided to do the same, continue watching the show although your mind was all about jay. 

however as soon as you turn your attention to the tv, your eyes almost widen at the scene ongoing. it just really had to be a steamy scene, especially with the boy beside you, this is a hard take.

taking your bottom lip under your top teeth, you bite on it when the main leads are practically on top of each other, hands all over each other and you try to hide the flustered smile when the actors make out with each other. 

your mind was going frenzy at the way the scene was unfolding with your things clasped against the other, trying to hold in the feeling pooling in the pit of your stomach. 

something about the scene was making you feel stuff, with the boy next to you, there was no way in your mind you had another image playing. 

all unbeknownst to you that jay was watching all along, a smirk placed on his lips at how you were reacting to the scene. he found it— interesting. 

jay couldn't help but think about how mature you've gotten over the time he's been away with your brother at college. he wonders if you're even into this type of stuff considering how famous you are among boys at school and whenever you go. 

he remembers back to the moment he saw you as soon as you got home on the day they arrived back in town, he couldn't stop looking at you. somehow over the months you had gotten taller, your curves perfectly complemented you, your hair has gotten longer, your voice made him so weak in the knees— everything about you changed. 

you are just so gorgeous now he's baffled everytime he sees you. even when you're in your nightwear, face natural— he can't help but think how beautiful you are.

for the better, you've grown into a pretty woman now and that definitely has a totally big effect on him. 

jay knows he's wrong for even thinking and seeing you that way, especially when your brother has been his lifelong best friend, so the betrayment sunghoon would feel if he ever found how jay thinks of you would be awful.

but something in him just can't stop seeing you that way, he's been seeing you as the y/n rather than sunghoon's little sister for the longest time ever.

"you're really looking at me now." 

jay snaps out of this thoughts at you leaning towards him this time, chuckling at his zoned out expression. 

"what?" 

"you should take a picture, it'll last longer." you say, looking away back to the movie where the heated scene is still going on. you're thanking every deity out there that sunghoon is also passed out because he would freak out and change the show asap, saying how you're too innocent to watch it all and stuff.

you're a virgin, it's true but— it's not like you didn't know anything of that. all the fanfics you stayed up reading played a big part in that.

"oh i wish i can, y/n." jay replies, leaning backwards onto the couch and pushes his lower half forward which makes your grip on your thigh harder. 

god, you just really had to find that attractive. 

and you process what he just said. 

"but my phone is charging, too bad right?" 

another statement that makes your jaw drop, immediately amusing jay. you don't find anything to say, absolutely starstruck at his way of making you speechless. 

it's a talent, really. 

"are you enjoying the movie?" 

i guess, but the movie in my head where the maincast playing that scene is the both of us is so much better though, you wish you could say that, but that can end in two ways. 

him agreeing to make it a reality and him storming off calling you a weirdo for seeing him that way. 

"uh, yeah, i guess so…" you say instead. 

"really? how would you rate it?" you're stunned, you don't know if he's playing with you or not because you're too tongue tied to say anything. 

"what are you so flustered for y/n, i'm just asking what do you think about the movie?" 

"we're not done with the movie yet so i—" you're cut off the guard and halfway when jay all of a sudden leans in so close to you, making you shut your eyes in reflex, thinking he's coming in for a kiss. 

it only takes you a few seconds to realize you're probably the biggest idiot on earth right now when you open your eyes and jay is a few inches away from your lips to collide before he pulls away with something in his hand. 

"i can't hear you over the sound," he smirks, shaking the remote in his hand, knowing damn well he's clearly messing with you. 

you scoff and cover your lips with your palm, shaking your head in disbelief. you really didn't think he wasn't going to kiss you at the speed he came at. 

"were you expecting something else?" 

"what? you're being ridiculous— i'm not!" 

"is that so? then why'd you close your eyes?" 

"i didn't—" 

"you're a bad liar," jay sighs, smiling at you being so restless trying to escape whatever he's trying to trap you into. 

"you're so annoying." you scoff, and push the pillow of your lap and get off the couch. however just before you could take a step further, you're being tugged back by your hand and you fall back onto the couch— not really the couch, you sure fell onto someone, something.

"a—" you slap your hand against your mouth, shielding a loud yelp from escaping your mouth incase you'd wake up your brother and his friend. 

you personally don't think it's a very appropriate and friendly sight for your brother to wake up to his best friend and little sister on top of each other, inches away from their lips colliding. 

"what are—" 

"shh," jay places his index finger on top of your lips and his finger relaxes at the plump flesh of it, so soft and tender. 

you don't say anything except for staying on top of him, with his one arm around your waist, holding you in place and his other against your lips, keeping you silent from waking up the rest when jake starts to move around in his place. 

hearts beating against the cages, you both finally sigh of relief when jake's slight snores are heard again. your head falls against jay's slowly and his eyes flicker up to match yours. 

jay's grip against your waist becomes firm making butterflies erupt in the pit of your stomach and if you were being honest, it was turning you on at the hand placement and the sudden change in the atmosphere from playful to something more tense. 

your mouth opens but closes back when you find words to say, to address the situation before you embarrass yourself again though from the way he's looking at you it's making you dizzy. 

"may i touch you?" 

"yes," you breathe out.

"you can close your eyes this time." 

your heart flutters at his words before a smile takes upon your lips and his when your eyes closed shut and you feel jay pull you closer for a kiss.

it was finally happening. 

or was it?

"OH MY GOD!" your eyes snaps open at the sudden scream from a voice that sounded like sunghoon's before you practically fly off the couch and land into the ground with the loudest thud. 

so loud that jake himself jolts awake in shock and you're groaning from the sharp pain in your ass while jay jumps off the couch himself. 

"dude what the fuck!" jake gasps, rubbing his face from the sudden thud and scream. 

sunghoon blinks and looks around, realizing that he woke up the entire living room and perhaps your parents too by the way they're rushing down the stairs, worriedly. 

"are you kids alright?! what was that sound!" your mom shrieks, and her gaze immediately falls onto you who's on the ground, rubbing your ass trying to soothe the pain. 

"y/n?! what happened?" 

you sigh, shaking your head at how fucking embarassing this is. first you think jay was gonna kiss you and you got teased for it when he purposely was messing with you, then you both are actually about to kiss and sunghoon screams like there's no tomorrow in his sleep and then you fall to the floor straight on your ass? 

couldn't get any worse to be honest. 

"oh— uh i accidentally fell…" you trail off, grabbing onto your mom that helps you to get onto the couch. 

"what? did you have a nightmare or something!" 

"no, it's sunghoon!" you scoff, pointing to the bleached haired boy who's clearly still in daze, not completely awake from his slumber. 

"park sunghoon? why did you scream like you were getting robbed!" 

"ah mum…." his voice cracks, rubbing his eyes. "i had a nightmare.." 

"you kids are going to be the death of me one day," your mom sighs, shaking her head at the two of her kids, disappointing her even in the middle of the night. 

at least you were saving both yours and jay's ass, except your ass is currently in pain. 

you look over to jay who's staring back at you with a worried look which makes you sigh. 

gosh, you couldn't even get mad at him— how is it fair for him to look cute in a situation where your ass is busted because of him.

"sorry," he mouths to you and you shake your head, looking away and trying to get up but wince in pain.

your parents eventually told you guys to pack it up for the night and head upstairs to sleep, which you guys abided by. jay was clearly trying to apologize to you, hoping you aren't too hurt because he really wasn't trying to hurt you by pushing you away so hard. 

if only it wasn't for his best friend to wake up from a nightmare, he would've finally bagged the kiss from the girl he's been crushing on for a lifetime. 

rolling into your bed, you couldn't help but place yours finger in your lips, ghosting over the place where jay's lips could've been at. 

if only your brother hadn't woken up from a nightmare, you could've kissed the boy you've been trying to court for the summer. 

THIN LINE, that's what you're on at the moment and you think you might go insane from how things are for you and jay. it shouldn't even be this much of a big deal to you but the opposite is what it seems like. 

after the whole almost kissing and you falling right on your ass fiasco, you don't know if things got better or for the worse between you and the boy you have heart eyes bulging out of your eye sockets for. 

what you can definitely say is, whatever tension you both have between the two of you has only gotten more thicker, and stronger. even the slightest eye contact has you biting on your lips to not get swayed by him, and it's the vice versa for him as well. 

jay's trying to keep his cool whenever he's around you, and especially in front of sunghoon. the guilt in him only has been building up the more he wants you. 

it's a few days into the summer and you've barely gotten it together. even wooyoung has tried to help you by 'just get into a room with him and get freaky!' which you think is totally the entire point of it but you barely even kissed— so that's a miss. 

"no seriously, what are you even going to do then?" wooyoung shrikes shaking your shoulder while you just sigh, letting your head fall forward onto his chest. "i'm starting to think this summer will end and you will move out by the time you even get into his pants." 

"and i'm starting to think you aren't into choi san anymore," 

you push yourself off wooyoung softly to look up at karina who's chewing on her gum as she walks into the living room, with a glass of cold iced water in her hand.

you think you might need one too at this point. 

"that's," wooyoung scoffs, crossing his arms together. "never going to happen. i will get that man and w—" 

"i don't want to hear the rest." karina shoves a new piece of gum into his mouth, shutting him up immediately. wooyoung slaps her hand on his face and rolls his face. 

"so, y/n?" 

you look at the two of them, back and forth as they stare back at you. 

"i don't know!" you whine, falling back onto the couch, next to wooyoung who's chewing on his gum loudly that you wish you had a mute button for. 

"girl if you really don't do anything any time soon, you can just kiss your chance with his goodbye!" karina says, shrugging. "you know how popular jay is here, and girls are practically lined up for him— YOU NEED TO DO SOMETHING!" 

you sigh once again, this time looking out the large sliding door which leads outside to the pool and bbq area in your backyard. 

"how do i just go up to him and be like 'hey jay, uhm let's kiss! okay, so now uh do you wanna be my summer fling with no attachments like yes let's fuck around for the entire and not catch feelings because im kinda only attracted to you like in that way but like not being mean but catching feelings isn't going to end well in the long run' is that what you want me to say?" 

karina and wooyoung just blink profusely, utterly in shock at your long ass reply— totally stunned. 

"aren't you lying, what do you mean 'im kinda only attracted to you like in that way' what happened to 'hes the only guy that makes me feel things that other guys don't'?" wooyoung leans forward, putting his index finger up to explain his point.

"yeah, don't you like him already? isn't that why you want to fuck him?" 

"you guys make me sound like a whore." you deadpanned. 

"that's besides the point," karina tsks, shaking her head. "y/n, don't you like him already?" 

"i don't." you actually don't know, you think you don't. feeling stuff like these is common when you're attracted to someone, it doesn't specifically have to be romantically. although somewhere in you is saying you're wrong for that.

wooyoung gives karina a look when you deny her question. "so what, are you gonna like him or something?" 

"no," you pause. "i won't, yeah i won't like him in that way. i told you guys, catching feelings for him is not going to end well in the long run." 

"when summer is over, leaving is going to be really bad for us, if we catch feelings for each other— and i don't want that mess, so no." 

wooyoung shakes his head, unsure of you. he knows you're not the type to catch feelings so easily and commit, in fact, you don't ever date anyone. the last time you dated someone it was in eight grade and it only lasted for a matter of time until park sunghoon found out and made you dump him. that's probably where he developed the whole overprotective of my baby sister agenda. 

"okay. if that's what you want, then we won't stop you. but you know, we'll always be here when summer ends and you get your heart broken by accidentally catching feelings for the jay park and having to break off." 

"fuck you that's not going to happen, woo." 

"w—" 

"GUYS." karina stops you both from going into an argument, putting her hands between the two of you. "if y/n is confident she wants this fling without any attachments then let her be so, that's a later thing to worry about. what's important now is," 

"how will you court him?" 

before you could answer her, the front door opens and your brother walks in, taking off his jacket while he's on the phone. 

"alright dude, see you soon."

when he ends the call, you're intrigued by what he's so smiley at. 

"what's the news, you seem to be so happy about it?" you ask, standing up and looking over at your brother whole looks at you with s grin. 

"mom and dad aren't going to be home tonight." 

"and?"

"everyone's about to experience the best party in town after the longest time." 

your jaw drops slack and you stare at him with wide eyes along with the two idiots behind you. 

"you're hosting a party?" 

"yeah. it's gonna be so sick," 

sunghoon says and rushed upstairs in a blink of an eye. karina pulls you around and back onto the couch, a big smile like your brother's on her face. 

"guess what this means?" 

"if san is coming i'm gonna look breedable ton—"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" 

"geez okay, so what does this mean?" wooyoung scoffs, rolling his eyes at the both of you cutting him hallway about his little fantasy of getting fucked by his crush. 

"it's time to court jay park, y/n." 

"WHAT THE FUCK?" jake gasps, almost dropping his beer in the red solo cup he has his fingers wrapped around. 

sunghoon bursts into laughter at his friend being shocked by the results he got from a random tarot reading that a random kid decided to do for free in exchange of a blunt. the boys don't question why the random carried around a deck of cards however, as long as it was entertaining. 

"dude, why are you so surprised your sex drive is so high? as if you're not self aware?" sunghoon asks, laughing at his friend in utter shock. 

"shut the fuck up bro," he whines, shaking his head trying to beat the allegations that's unfortunately true. 

"god i don't even want to think about it, you must be going at it like fuckin' rabbits!" 

"DUDE SHUT UP!" jake shrieks, standing up from the seat and pushing off sunghoon who seems to be having a hard time with trying to hold back his loud laughter over the music. 

"jay, you're not even gonna defend me?" 

the mentioned boy looks at his friends after taking a sip from the beer in his hand as well. "no, you can't deny what's true, right jake?" 

"you guys suck," he scoffs playfully, and walks off leaving the two to themselves surrounded by wasted people and it hasn't even been two hours since the party started. 

sunghoon laughing finally dies down and he takes a deep breath before taking a sip from his cup too, next to his friend. 

"jake's ridiculous man," he sighs, smiling at the scene from before that makes him chuckle again before jay gives him up and he shuts up. 

"alright fine, i'll stop laughing about it!" sunghoon says, putting his hand up in defense which makes jay shake his head, disappointed when sunghoon slaps his hand against his mouth to hold back a laugh. 

"i gotta tell y/n about this, it's so funny like the way he.." sunghoon's words mix along with the blasting music as jay dazes off into a corner when you're mentioned. 

come to think of it, he hasn't seen you around for the night and to be honest, it made him a little bummed about being at the party where you aren't. don't get him wrong, he loves his friends and all, but just drinking and talking to his friend gets boring overtime. 

he wonders if you're in your room, he didn't see you when he got back home earlier, he figured you're out with your friends. but seeing that there's no sight of you walking into the house from the front door, he thinks you're in your room, preferring to stay away from the crowd. 

"dude, you listening?" 

"ah, yeah, yeah…" jay replies, trailing off when he sees sunghoon raise his eyebrows up, a look he gave when he doesn't believe what the other is saying.

"really, man?" 

"sorry, my bad—" 

"you're so out of it ever since we got back in town," sunghoon says, nudging jay's shoulder. "is this really the effect of no pussy?" 

"hoon," jay whines, leaning his head back hoping his friend would leave him alone about him not getting laid. it's the topic he dreaded the most with his friends. 

"nah man, you really need to get laid. seriously, hasn't it been awhile?" 

"sunghoon—" 

"get laid dude, tonight. this party is a perfect chance, get with anyone seriously, i saw a hot chick just now, she seemed like your type—" 

"do you even know what my type is?" your  sister.

"uh, it doesn't matter dude if she can get the job done then it's not a big deal!" 

"this sounds like it's a talk for jake," jay says, chuckling when he waits for sunghoon to retort back with a laugh but when he gets no response, he leans back forward to see sunghoon, jaw slacked on the floor staring right into the crowd.

oh.

"d—" 

"what's she doing here?" 

jay stares back and forth between his friend and the one and only, first love of his. he didn't know she was going to be here, perhaps she was in town too but if she was gonna be here then the boys would've gotten the news earlier. 

it must've been a last minute plan, he figures. 

"fuck." sunghoon breathes out when the girls walks over him. sunghoon takes a swing on the beer, chugging it all down before hastily shoving the solo cup into jay's hand and gets up. 

he grabs the girl's wrist by her hand and disappears into the crowd somewhere. now jay's alone, one probably deep into a random girl adding numbers to his body count and another reconciling with his first love. 

and jay well, he's stranded alone— actually not, because with his gaze falling on you almost immediately as soon as he spots you, it makes him drop the two cups, beer spilling onto the ground. 

that didn't seem to be his priority when you're making your way towards him now.

"hey," 

"hey," jay says, taking in your presence next to him. sunghoon's right, he's been out of it ever since he got back in town. it wasn't because he wasn't getting laid, it was because of you. 

you're making him feel all sorts of things recently,  all these past he's had nothing but just a crush on you. a crush where you see your crush and it makes you feel all giddy and on cloud 9. but recently, it's something different.

something that makes him want you, so bad that he can't imagine you being someone else's. someone that irks up something in his when he sees you, wanting to push you against the wall and take you just right there. 

"i didn't know you'd be here tonight," 

"is it not my house?" 

"yeah but— you know i didn't mean it that way, obviously it's you—" 

"jay, i'm just messing with you, relax," you giggle, waving your hand at his face and jay thinks it's the prettiest sound he's ever heard. he's so whipped and it isn't going to end well, especially if sunghoon finds out his own friend knowing how he is with guys around his sister. 

jay gives you a smile and gets up from his seat before putting his hand out. 

"let's go get drinks." 

"I just got here!" you whine, leaning back onto the couch and your dress hikes up your thigh, exposing more skin and he looks away, trying to not do the one thing he promised himself to not do.

get hard because of you and it's really hard for him right now because you really just had to wear the prettiest dress showing off all your curves so perfectly, and the way your legs looked in it, god you're making him go crazy. 

"come on," he says, taking your hand in his and pulling you on your feet, you hold onto him with a smile and head over to the kitchen with him. 

the both of you walked into the kitchen and passed through the crowd of people and you were secretly glad you couldn't find sunghoon in sight because he'd so crazy at the sight of you and jay holding hands.

"anything in mind?" 

you shake your head as you look over the drinks on the aisle. most of them were alcohol, and you weren't really that big fan of it. it's just, okay. 

"is coke okay?"

"yeah," 

jay pours coke for you and him, and then hands you the cup. you take a sip from it and the fuzzy feelings send chills down your throat. 

"i like your dress." 

his comment makes your cheeks flushed and your heart skip. right, good thing he did because you spent about hours to find the perfect dress, just for him.

"thank you, jay." 

he gives you a smile, and moves closer. "your hair too, and your eye makeup, it's pretty." 

internally screaming WHAT THE FUCKKKKSNDNFMF while keeping your cool with just blushing crazily if the lights weren't dim, you'd look as red as a tomato. 

"thank you, again, jay." you chuckle, and give him the smile you try to hold back from how flustered he was making you with his compliments..

"you got so pretty over the months, you've always been pretty but, today, you're so gorgeous."

FUCOSKDKF WHYS THRUCOKKKK WHAT IS THE DOINNNGGGGGG GODDDDD FUCKEKKEKFKF WHATHRUCCKKKKSKNEND DIW HE DRUNK IS HE DIRINK HELLOOOO SEND HELSPPPS RIHHT NOWWWWWWWWWW.

"gosh—" you breathe out, giggling as you lean in and place your head on his shoulder, hiding away the really flustered expression you had on. "thank you for the compliments, i appreciate it, jay, really." 

he doesn't say anything except for just chuckling and then drinking his coke. with the last swing of coke, he places the cup down when you're done as well. 

you both just look around in silence, the loud music blasting through the entire house silencing out the chatting in the crowd. 

"do—" you speak up, looking at up. he looks back at you curiously, pupils dilated with his eyebrows furrowed and god, he was making you nervous. "do you wanna go somewhere else?" 

"are you uncomfortable, is eve—" 

"ah, uhm, i just— it's too loud in here, i can't focus on you." 

jay tries to not gasp at your words that make his heart skip and mind go frenzy. 

"oh, uh, sure." he says and you give him a smile before taking his hand in yours, fingers intertwined and pulling him away. your brother was still nowhere in sight and you couldn't thank him enough for that. 

hands in each other, you both go up the stairs and jay figures you're taking him to your room when you make a swift left through the corridor and he's right when you unlock the door to your room. 

he walks in behind you and when you shut the door and lock it, he just stares at you confused. he doesn't have any plans for anything, but it's good if sunghoon just barges in out of nowhere. in his entirety of being sunghoon's best friend and being over at your house, he sure knows sunghoon has a habit for not knocking when he walks into your room.

you turn around to see jay looking over you, with a small smile and a confused look. 

"oh, you should take a seat!" 

you say, and push him towards the edge of your bed by your desk. he takes a seat and you sit infront of him on your chair from your desk.

it's a little awkward at first but jay clears the air by looking around your room. he barely comes in here, it's a restricted zone in your home, sunghoon never allows anyone in here, and you don't allow anyone except for your friends. 

he examines the room and it's not that different from what he had imagined, it just screams you. other than the interiors and your room in white, there's a few decos that attract him attention. the wall of pictures and polaroids of you and your friends and family. 

there's childhood pictures of you and sunghoon on the wall where you both are dressed up as a lion and tiger, smiling brightly at the camera in complete cuteness.

jay smiles at how cute you are and how ridiculous sunghoon looks, if he ever got a hold of this, sunghoon would never hear the end of jay teasing him. 

then he notices a poster— of Jungkook from BTS. and then a few albums stacked under it and a lightstick, then a cooky pillow on your bed. wow, he figures you might be a fan of BTS by the looks of it.

"so, you like jungkook?" 

you look up almost immediately at the mention of the love of your life. "yes?! is that even a question?"

jay smiles at how cute you are when you're so interested in the topic he's discussing. 

"wow, so much?" 

"he's literally my lover, it's a given that i like him that much." you say, giggling as you slump back into your seat. "do you, like him?" 

"i guess you can say so, i have a few of their songs in my playlist," jay says, chuckling when you gasp. "do you have a few suggestions that you think i can add to my playlist?" 

"thanks for asking, i indeed do!" you say, smiling and jay laughs, lensing forward. he pulls the chair closer to the bed catching you by surprise, but you're flustered at how close you both are now, knees against each other and giggling. 

"should we get started then?" you ask, smirking at jay who gives you an ecstatic laugh and then continues to hear you out. 

and you both spent the rest of the night, talking about the things you both enjoy, and find out that you two have a lot in common. the thought of courting him honestly just disappears into the back of your mind, goes forgotten.

by the end of it, jay says he should leave, sunghoon would be finding for him (which he didn't because he was missing), and you heavy heartedly had to say goodbye, and a see you later. 

but before he left you gave him a small peck on his cheek that neither of you expected to happen but the small peck made the entire night for the both of you that even then next morning when your friends were crying why weren't you both deep inches in each other, you couldn't get the blushing away because of the peck. 

"the way these two could have been finally kissing but they were talking about y/n's stupid attraction for jungkook." wooyoung sighs, shaking his head.

you slam his head with a knock that has him screaming back at you for knocking him but you scoff, "fuck you, my love for jungkook is not stupid!" 

"okay can you both calm down—" you cut off karina but give her an attitude as well. 

"you guys shouldn't even be having this tantrum, when you guys promised to show up but y'all weren't even there!"

the rest of them go silent at your statement, clearly making him feel guilty. 

"uhm so anyways!" wooyoung says, putting his hand up. "there's a party tonight, again."

"im not going anywhere—"

"i never said we're going" 

"you were about to rig—" 

"oh my god, you guys need to stop fighting!" seeun yells, putting her hands out to stop both karina and wooyoung fighting. you slump into the couch, shaking your head at your friends. 

"so what now? what are we going to do about her, at this rate summer is gonna end." wooyoung says, shrugging. 

"nothing, i'll figure out something or fuck that— you guys should probably leave, didn't you say you're heading out for dinner?" you ask, looking over at karina. she gasp when she realises it's time for her dinner with her parents, so she hurries out of the door with a goodbye to everyone. 

not long after karina's departure, wooyoung and seeun also leave, bidding you goodbye and leaving you alone in your house, sweaty from the heatwave outside. 

it's so unbelievably hot, a thin layer of sweat covered on your skin despite wearing a spaghetti strap and shorts. you opted for the outifts that would help you with the heatwave, but the warmth is still the same, you're still sweating. 

and at times like this, ice cream will always be a saviour. you head over into your kitchen, opening the refrigerator and then the freezer to get out the ice cream container, feeling it heavy and your fingers getting numb at the coldness. 

setting it on the aisle, you open the cover and heart eyes basically bulge out of your eye sockets at how glorifying the ice cream looked like in this hot weather. nothing more can you ask for. 

you grab a spoon and stab it into the ice cream, ready to dig in but the spoon falls out of your hand and a faint crescent mark is formed on the top layer of the ice cream.

"fuck…." you sigh, realising it's going to take awhile to defrost. regardless you just kept on poking the ice cream with the steel spoon, grunting when your hand freezes and wrist hurts. 

"ah…" you whine, frustrated and tired, and most importantly sweaty. 

"uhm, am i interrupting something…?" 

you look up from the ice cream tub to see jake peeking into the kitchen, looking at you confused and a sly smirk on his lips. 

"no?" you reply, gripping onto the spoon again when your hand is ready to stab the ice cream once again. 

"it sounded like something," he says, shrugging as he approaches you. "like what, jake?" you ask, furrowing your eyebrows. 

"you wanna know, y/n?" 

"she doesn't," a voice speaks up and you see jay leaning against the door frame, staring at the two of you like he wants to knock jake's head. "pretty sunghoon doesn't want to either if he finds out what you're doing,"

jake rolls his eyes at jay for cockblocking him. "chill out dude, it's just a joke." 

before jay could do anything, you cut the two of them off and asked jake, "are you gonna tell me what's something or do i need to knock you out with this spoon?" 

"it sounded like you were finally getting dicked down." 

"WHAT?" you shriek and slap your hand against your mouth, looking back and forth at the double Js. 

jay kicks jake in his calf, making the poor boy cry out in agony at the pain. "dude what the fuck!"

"it's just a joke!" he says, smirking at the other and a smile grows on your lips when you see the bigger picture.

is he really….?

jake puts up a middle finger at his friend before turning to you. "but if you ever want to get dicked down, you have my n— okay fine! for god's fucking sake dude!" jake's sentence is short lived when jay threatens to kick him in the exact spot one more time to make him leave. 

limping off to the living room to wait for sunghoon to be back from his disappearance, the two of you are the only ones in the kitchen. 

the smile you're holding back so much grows even more when jay turns to you, taking the spoon out from your hand and then scoops the now melting ice cream, and pushes you aside. 

"what are you doing?" you ask him, with a sly smile on your face as you lean forward on the aisle, looking at him while he does the ice cream scooping. 

"scooping the ice cream for you?" 

"why? i can do it myself," 

"i know you can," jay says, and puts the spoon down when he's done. "i just don't want jake to say that shit again." 

"what? that i sound like i'm getting dicked down?" jay's stare immediately meets yours when you ask him the question, sending chills down your spine.

"yes," he admits. "is that a problem?" 

"why does it bother you if jake thinks i'm getting dicked down? or if he's the one fucking me down— in fact he even said 'finally getting dicked down?' what's that supposed to mean, i've been dicked down before, i have been touched before so why does it bother you two!" 

"because it does." 

"exactly, who does it bother you, jay?" you ask him, straightening your back and moving closer to jay who's staring at you with the most annoyed expression. he doesn't ever look like this unless he's jealous. 

unless he is….

"it bothers me because i don't like people taking what's mine," 

you don't know how to react, you've only ever read this in those smutty heated romance novels and movies, now that it's happening to you, you finally understand why those main leads go frozen.

though you have one thing to say.

"i'm not yours, jay." 

"you've been mine since day one," he says, pushing backwards towards the wall. "and i don't want to hear about anyone that has ever touched you before me, if it isn't clear yet." 

trapping you between the wall, he grips on your waist, and another on the side of your head while he looks down on you. if he wasn't so annoyed right now, he would've just called you unbelievably cute from how you're staring up at him with those starry eyes. 

"the moment you've let me touch you, you were mine." he says, and you were silently thanking every deity out there jay got jealous because of jake and you've finally gotten this chance. 

but on a normal day, if this wasn't jay saying this, you would've gagged at the cheesy line, so extremely corny as if it's out of some fanfiction that someone in their young adult phase write.

you take his hand off the wall next to you and place it on your waist, and then look up at him. 

"touch me." 

that was all it took for jay to pull you in and connect his lips with yours. he doesn't know what he was expecting but what you gave him was beyond the expectations. 

it was truly amazing. fireworks erupting, butterflies going crazy in the pit of your stomachs, funny feelings in your check and minds frenzy, the kiss was fucking hot. 

you're pressing against him with your back on the wall as your back arched slightly when your hips rut against his at your submission. if someone had told you this would've happened to you a long time ago, you would've never believed them. 

before you could slip your hands under his shirt, his hand beats you to it when you feel his warm hand against your skin under the back of your top which makes you gasp slightly. jay takes that opportunity to bite your bottom slightly, causing you to accidentally moan.  

"dude, have you seen my sister?" 

"she's in the kitchen with jay," 

your eyes snap open at the footsteps nearing the kitchen making you push jay away as quick as you could, catching him by surprise. 

"fuck," you pant, both from shock, panic and out of breath from kissing jay. "s-sunghoon!" you gasp, pointing at the kitchen and jay finally realises what's going on. 

standing across from you in the opposite of the kitchen, jay and you both fix your hair, straightening out your clothes and trying to make sure your faces don't look too flustered from the make out session. 

sunghoon finally walks into the kitchen and looks at you wide eyed as if he'd actually caught the two of you red handed. he points his finger at you and it makes your soul leave your body just at the thought of him catching you both, until he speaks up. 

"y/n." he says, and stares at you. "what do girls like on their actual first dates?" 

jay and you let out a sigh of relief when sunghoon asks something else that isn't related to what you both had feared for. 

"sunghoon, are you kidding me?" 

"what? i'm asking you a question what do g—" 

"is that why you ran all the way here for?" you scoff, crossing your arms and annoyed at the thought of how you and jay could've gone further than just a kiss. 

"what's wrong with that? you're acting like i caught you my best friend smooching off each others face," sunghoon deadpans you swore you never froze so quickly ever. good thing, sunghoon was always never a quick witted child, so your reactions wasn't too obvious for him though it would've been for any normal person. 

"so what do girls like on actual first dates?" 

before you could say anything, sunghoon cuts you off real quick. 

"wait," he stops, and clutches his crotch which makes you glare at him in disgust. "i need to piss, don't go anywhere, stay here" 

with that, he leaves you and jay in the kitchen and you turn to look at him, cheeks flustered and hearts beating again. 

"i'm not done with you yet," jay says and leaves the kitchen after giving you a eyebrow raise which makes you want to fall to the ground if it wasn't the wall you were leaning into. 

the ice cream he scooped for you long forgotten in the kitchen when you're touching your lips again, this time, with a bright smile and a heartwarming feeling lingering in the air only before your brother came back. 

"ARE YOU FUCKING FOR REAL? WHAT THE FUCK!" 

yup, those were the very expected reactions you expected from your friends when you told them the big news! 

"so is this like a joke or are you actually being for real?" wooyoung asks, again but this time after spitting out his drink and gaining weird looks from the other people around you guys in the diner. 

"yes wooyoung. i am being for real, what does it take for you to believe me?" you ask, sighing at him for asking you the same question again and again out of disbelief. 

honestly you couldn't blame him, when you woke up the next morning, you were so dazed that you thought you were dreaming until you got a smirk from jay when you caught him walking out of the bathroom in the hallway shirtless with a towel around his neck. 

and god did it make your pussy throb, maybe you just had issues. 

"i don't know, maybe demonstrate it again with your lover boy?" you gasp at wooyoung's absurd comment, shooting him a glare. 

"so, where do you guys go from here? any talking or just straight up heated sex?" karina asks and you're speechless. 

sometimes you wished your friends had filters whenever something came out of their mouths. 

"uhm, i don't know. we just kissed and he said he's not done with me yet so that question, the answer is only with him." you say, shaking your head before taking a sip from your smoothie. 

"well, i'm hoping you get dicked down finally. like it's been years." 

you roll your eyes at wooyoung, "now you sound like jake and," you pause. "it hasn't been years, seriously the last time was like two years ago?" 

"and it wasn't even a proper dicked down, y/n" wooyoung chuckles but stops himself when you glare at him, again!

"i was still dicked down." 

"uhm, the most you guys did was him getting his dick in you but freaking out because he literally pulled out and came even before he moved— so, sure if that counts." 

karina and you stare at wooyoung in absolute disgust and awe. 

"why the fuck do you even remember that?" karina asks, gagging at the memory of you telling them with tears streaming down your face two years ago, when the guy that liked you, which you decided to give a chance to. 

worst mistake of your life, if you had to admit.

"stop, he's so weird for that i'm glad i cut him off and sunghoon literally got detention and a black eye for almost beating the shit out of him." you say, rubbing your temple at the memory.

you remember how fuelled your brother was when he found out the kid made you cry, now you're thinking how he's going to react if he ever finds out that you and jay made out. 

his own sister and bestfriend going behind his back— but again, what he doesn't know won't hurt him, right?

"talking about sunghoon, i heard a thing about jay." karina speaks up, which perks your attention from your thoughts. 

"what does y/n’s loverboy has to do with her brother?" 

"is he not his bestfriend, you fucking idiot?" 

"oh yeah, damn sorry my bad!" 

"rina, what did you hear about him?" you ask, ignoring the small quarreling between the both of them which makes the two bite their lips and throw a look at each other. 

"guys," you whine, a smile taking over your lips when you realize they're teasing you for being so eager to know about jay. 

"fine, i was saying i heard a thing from someone where they said," karina says, leaning in. "they said that only jay out of the 02z has never let anyone into his racing car," 

"what type of rumor is that?" wooyoung asks, shaking his head, confused why would that be an issue in the first place. 

"i guess it means, no one has ever been in there so it probably means none of his flings or any romantic relationship he has ever had with anyone is that serious, considering even any of his past exes have even been in his car?" 

"oh," wooyoung replies, leaning backwards. "what about the 02z?" 

"i don't know, maybe they have maybe they haven't either, but i heard that he doesn't let anyone into his car." she says, and you nod, realizing that sunghoon has once mentioned it but you've never been interested in it. 

"y/n, you think you can beat that rumor?" 

"what?" you laugh, "what does that have to do with me?" 

"uhm, everything? sometimes you're just so dense." 

"you're the one that's stupid here?" you scoff, glaring at wooyoung which he glares back at for because you called him stupid. 

"god, do you guys EVER stop fighting?" you look at seeun next to you, and shut up immediately. you're only realizing she's been silent the entire time you guys got here. 

you don't ask her anything though, after her scolding you guys, the two of them went back to teasing you about jay and the night just ended like that which led to you coming back home late, after karina dropped you off. 

when you got back, the house was quite silent except for the small bickering coming from sunghoon's room. you just decided to slip back into your room but just before you could, you stopped when you heated something that irked you up.

"dude, she just texted me that she's back in town," you heard jake say, but you couldn't see anything which you chose to assume that he was showing his phone when they all went silent. 

"oh my god!" you hear sunghoon gasp, and there's a small silence before you hear jake and sunghoon cheer. 

"dude holy shit, it's been awhile, we should all like— gather up and have a reunion or something." jake says. "what about a party after the next race." 

jay groans and disagrees with the rest. 

"are you guys not sick of these parties, the entire summer is gonna be wasted away with just parties, i gotta go visit my parents soon. " he says and you hear shuffling. 

"summer is all about partying and having fun man— are you not excited to see mai again? it's been like a few years." 

"why should i be exited to see her, again?"

mai, it sounds familiar but you don't choose to ponder about it until jake asks jay something.

"dude, why aren't you? your hot first love is finally back in town again and you're not even existed for a possible best fuck again?" 

for some reason, your heart sinks at the question. you know it shouldn't but it does and it makes you feel so— weird. like a disappointed feeling grows in you. 

"she's not my first love, i never even liked her. "

"you dated her, does that not mean anything? and even if she wasn't yours, you were still his. you guys are still the talk of the town!" 

you don't listen to the conversation anymore, having a small feeling in you that if you listened further the weird feeling in you would even get worse.

you're not sure why such a feeling is even hurried in you and why you're so sad about it when the most you've both done is just make out. it can totally mean nothing, and a summer fling is not even that big of a deal. 

so just taking a quick shower and then falling asleep seemed to be a better option than to overthink and hurt your own feelings. 

the next morning was quite tiring since you couldn't really get much sleep the night before. you headed down for breakfast and got back upstairs before you could bump into anyone after remembering the conversation between the boys from the night earlier. 

the rest of the day went by after you proceed to occupy yourself with catching up on jungkook updates than worry about jay and whoever mai was.

and then more days went by and it's been a complete week since you even saw any of them which made the entire conversation thing go forgotten by you. 

so when wooyoung, karina and seeun dragged you to a party where you absolutely didn't know jay and his friends were at, you were stunned to see him in the circle of the room everyone was gathered in to play hide and seek. 

and of course, you just had to get a seat next to him after wooyoung and karina forcefully pushed you to the absolute opposite of where they sat. 

"hey," 

you turn to look at him, a smile already on your lips sure that it's mostly the alcohol in your system that's working. you didn't know what convinced you to get drunk tonight, maybe it was wooyoung's influence or anything but you were glad you're still sober enough to absorb everything that's going on. 

"hey," you reply back and jay smiles at you, moving closer to you. 

"sunghoon is right next to you." he is three seats away. 

"so?" 

you don't reply anything back when the host announces that sunghoon is the seeker along with another girl who seemed to be overjoyed she was going to be the seeker which sunghoon. 

"you will be given approximately two to three minutes to hide before sunghoon and seri starts seeking!" the host announces and everyone gets up from their seats, leaving their cups in the room by their seats. 

you mouth at wooyoung and karina to wait for you but they both turned away, pretending to have not seen that. you couldn't resort to seeun either, she wasn't even in the game, because she said she'd rather just talk to someone else than join the fun.

"and the game starts…… now!" 

you rush out of the room along with everyone, most of them chose to hide downstairs so you chose upstairs would be easier to hide since a few spots would be vacant. 

"why are you following me?" 

you turn around with your arms crossed, looking at a jay who obviously seemed to be following behind you but with his nonchalant look and hands tucked in his leather jacket, it was too obvious. 

"i'm not." 

"you are!" 

"i'm not, y/n." 

"whatever," you shrug off and run off into a room when jay chases after you. when you guess he isn't catching up with you anymore, you run into an empty room which you assume it's someone's bedroom. 

obviously hiding under the bed would be a stupid idea, but when you glanced at the watch on your wrist, you realise the three minutes were about to be over. 

so you took an even more stupid idea, you hid yourself inside the closet but it was hidden in the back of the room, so if the seeker wasn't too stupid, like your brother— then you'd be safe. 

as soon as you shut the door close, the door opens back and someone jumps into the closet next to you, shutting it close. 

"w—" 

"don't yell at me!" you realise it's jay and you calm down, but still mad that he followed you to your hiding spot. now you're both gonna be found.

"why are you here! this is my hiding spot!" you hiss a him, a pout on your lips but it was too dim to be noticed. 

"you don't own this spot! i'm allowed to hide here too!" jay hisses back, frowning at you yelling at him. whisper-yelling more likely. 

"i came here first!" 

"okay and?" 

"fine i'll leave then!" you move to open the door but jay stops you with holding your wrist, catching you for the guard. 

"what are you doing! you'll get caught if you leave now and when you do you'll have to do the punishment, you'll black out y/n!" 

"h—" you stop your sentence midway when you hear a loud yell echo throughout the house. 

"THE SEEKING HAS NOW BEGUN."

you both freeze in your spot and jay moves in closer so when the seeker opens the closet door, he isn't the first thing they find. 

so close that he is practically on top of you. if he looked down, he could see your entire cleavage from the low cut of the top you had on. 

which he did when he accidentally looked down but your head fell against his chest as you were heaving for breath from the running earlier. biting his lips he prays you don't feel the growing hardness between his thighs in the tight space. 

you're not too oblivious either, it's clear to you that you're both hidden in the tight space where you're both practically on top of each other. and when your head falls against his chest, you could feel his abdomen that you try so hard to not make another heartbeat happen that isn't your heart. 

the same situation reminds you of the situation when you and jay ate ramen together, in the kitchen, that night. 

you try to find something to focus on in the darkness that now you can see around in after your eyes adjusted to the darkness, to distract yourself from the fact you're basically inches close to the guy you just made out with a week ago. 

before you could do anything else, the room door bursts open and you hear footsteps around the room which makes you and jay look at each other frightened. 

"god, where the fuck is everyone?" 

fuck, why does it have to be sunghoon?

jay holds you closer to hide further, afraid sunghoon might open the closet door and be welcomed with his best friend and sister hugging like there's no tomorrow if he looked more in. 

"ugh, i'm already wasted enough—" his voice is cut when the door shuts which you both assume that he left the room when his footsteps also faded away.

you've never been more relieved that sunghoon is drunk for once, glad that it didn't occur to him that he should check the closet before he left. 

"you can let go of me, now" you say, but it sounded more like a whisper at how small it came out than you intended to. 

but just as you said that your head fell back and almost hit the closet's wall if it wasn't for jay having his hand behind your head, protecting it than your head hitting it. 

your heart for some reason flutters when you realise he must've had it there for a while now since you didn't feel his arm move when you leaned back. 

"i think it's better if i hold you until the game is over," he says, and you could feel his breath fanning over your neck when he spoke. "it's pretty small here, you could hurt yourself again." 

you bite your lips, holding back a squeal. he probably watches dramas or reads romance novels, where the fuck did he learn to speak like this, gosh!

and luck didn't seem to be on your side when you try to lean back, again but a hanger in the box behind your back pokes you right on your lower back, just right below where jay was holding you at. 

"fuck!" you whine out, unexpectedly loud which catches jay by surprise. 

"shit, did you hurt yourself?" you didn't hear the 'i told you so' tone when he asked you that, instead you sensed he was actually worried from the tone he asked you in. 

"uhm— yeah," you admit, embarrassed that you just had to hurt yourself as soon as jay said that. 

"just stay still," he whispers and his hand goes down to where you got jabbed at. "does it hurt here?" 

your eyes widen when his hand accidentally slides past the slope of your ass but still lands right above it, perfectly on the hurting spot. 

"yeah," you say, nodding slowly and jay just rubs over it, soothing out the pain for you. eventually it leaves sooner than you expected but you don't say anything, you just liked the feeling of jay touching you so you just left that at it. 

a few minutes go by and you're both bored out of your mind, wondering if anyone was ever even found but too scared to leave the tiny spot in case you'd both lose.

the space was already small to begin with so sticking against each other wasn't really helping with the tenparture too. at this rate you were beginning to sweat and it was bothering you.

"ugh, it's so fucking hot in here— im sweating." you whine, softly making sure to not make too much sound as you turn around but jay stops you by clutching you around your waist. 

"don't move." 

"what? why?" 

"just don't move!" he hisses at you, leaving you confused as to why he isn't letting you move. 

"jay, it's hot i'm literally sweating," 

"i know— just, just don't move." he says, holding you in place but you're too stubborn for that. sighing, you move around anyway which makes your back meet his front and you immediately find out why he stopped you from moving. 

you hear jay mutter a string of cuss words under his breath when something hard practically pokes at your lower back, just right next to the spot where you got jabbed earlier. 

"i told you not to move, y/n. you never listen," 

"uhm, sorry i— i didn't know," you say, unsure of how to address the situation. was he seriously hard over the fact you're practically sticking on him, or because of how small the closet is. 

you're not sure, but what's clear is he's definitely hard because of you and boy, were you having a field day because of it. 

deciding to run with it, you purposely throw your head back, onto his shoulder and then shoot a short smirk his way which he's too distracted on his hardness to realise. you were already slightly intoxicated, but if you were to blame what made you act up now it'll definitely do wonders. 

the intoxicating thoughts just made things worse in your case, the lewd thoughts of how your ass was practically in between jay's crotch is beyond you, it honestly felt like you were dreaming. 

you shift slightly which jay immediately holds you back for, "stop moving y/n, please " 

oh, he was willing to beg? that's great!

you move your body backwards even more, urging to push him to his limits. exactly what you needed and wanted from him, is to snap. 

"y/n, stop it." 

"i'm not doing anything!" 

"you know what you're doing, you're not dumb." 

"i don't know what you're talk—" 

he spins you around in a swift, and holds you tightly, that you're unable to move around in. 

"do it one more time, and i won't be able to hold myself back." 

a smirk grows on your lips when you realize you've pushed the right button indeed, he's finally snapped. 

"i'm not asking you to." 

none of you have to say anything anymore for him to pull you in and your both lips colliding onto each other's, moving against each other. jay licked your bottom lip, humming at the taste of your lip balm, cherry, good choice. 

you wrap your arms around his neck as he slides his arm around your waist and another explores your body, shamelessly. you weren't going to lie if you say your panties weren't soaked. 

whatever effect jay had on you seemed to be sickening because of how bad you're down for him. 

he pulls away by surprise, bursting the closet door open and dragging you out by your arm. lips swollen, hair messed up and dazed looks on your faces, he pushes you against the door, making sure to not hurt you. 

trapping you between his hold, jay locks the door in a swift and then turns to focus on you. 

"i said i wouldn't be able to hold myself back," he breathes and if it wasn't for your self control, you would've come there itself from the way he's looking at you while catching his breath. 

"and, i told you i wasn't done with you yet." 

you open your mouth to say something, to finalize it all and pull jay by shirt back into the kiss again, until the door bursts open despite the fact you both thought jay had locked it. 

in a second, jay pushes you behind the door and stands before it when the person who walked in sees him standing there. 

"dude what the fuck, we thought you left!" 

you sigh in relief when you hear jake's voice, thanking the god's it wasn't your brother again. but the annoyed feeling takes over when you realiszd he just fucked up your chance of getting railed by his bestfriend, after all the pent up tension and the movie material scenes— all to waste, just like that!

"oh, uhm— no, i didn't! what? so is the game over?" jay stutters and you smile at the thought of him getting flustered and caught red handed. 

"yeah b— why are you flustered?" 

jay starts to laugh, shaking his head. "nothing dude, just surprised you walked in when i was about to head out." 

you see jay's gaze fall on you and then back to jake, who you couldn't really see from the door blocking your sight. 

"nah, that's too….. fishy— oh my god. wait, don't tell me," jake gasps, and then looks around frantically. your eyes widens and you immediately cover your mouth from any sound escaping as your heart rate picks up. "don't tell me you got someone in here," 

jay immediately pushes him out the door, and laughs in the most awkward way you've ever heard someone laugh in, "you're tripping, let's get outta here. at least we didn't lose hahahaha!" 

shoving his best friend out of the door, jay mouths a 'sorry' at you and then leaves in a second. you scoff at what had just happened, raging the inner demon in you. 

this is the second time you've both got cockblocked, you're starting to wonder when were you both ever going to even get together, but by the looks of it— it's probably never going to happen. 

"fuck," you sigh, shaking your head in dissapointment before walking out. you head down the stairs and spot jay with sunghoon and jake, too engulfed in their conversations to even bother about their surroundings. 

you look around for your friends but no one is nowhere to be found, you're guessing either they are passed out somewhere or already back home, enjoying peace instead of this crowded place smelling like sex in the air and pure alcohol. 

you try to pass by a group of people, sweaty bodies against each other and you try to not scrunch up your face in disgust, but in the midst of that, you accidentally bump past someone, immediately making them knock over their drink. 

"holy shit, oh my god— i'm sorry!" you gasp, immediately crouching down to pick up the cup and bite your lip as you examine the carpeted floor being coated in whatever the drink they had previously in the now emptied cup. 

"wait, no it's my fault, i'm sorry i wasn't watching where i was going!" 

for some reason you recognized the voice all too well, and then you look up and you're completely lost at words. 

what the fuck was lee heeseung doing here?

your mouth falls open and so does his. 

"o-oh my god, Y/N?" he chuckles, furrowing his eyebrows as he points his finger at you in confusion. 

"heeseung? what are you doing here?" you ask, still staring at him in shock. no, but you were actually stunned because what's he doing here instead of being at NYU with his girlfriend? 

"that's an interesting way to ask how have you been? thanks for asking, i'm great!" he laughs, shaking his head slightly. 

"oh uh— my bad!" you grimace, and immediately apologizing at your rude manners. the alcohol in your system isn't doing wonders anymore, not much justice either. 

heeseung chuckles at your mistake, giving you a bright smile that complimented his perfect 32's, the braces he had back then showing the results so greatly. 

"oh my, where are my manners? here," heeseung says, realizing you're both still on the ground before he puts out his hand for you and you gladly take it as you both get up. 

"i'm so sorry— for the drink. i wasn't seeing where i was going, a little tipsy too, so it was completely my fault." you blabber which heeseung finds cute for his liking. 

"no y/n, don't dwell on it. it's my fault as well for being too careless, so don't sweat it!" 

you smile at him, and then the both of you laugh at the silence being too awkward all of a sudden. 

"you should get a refill, if you'd like?" you say, pointing at the cup he's now holding, and then to the kitchen behind your back. 

"yeah, sure!" 

the two of you walk over to the kitchen and you help heeseung with his drink as an apology for spilling it which he reassures you is really fine. 

"so, you're back in town for the semester as well?" you ask heeseung, watching him gulp down the first sip and then he gives you a short smile before answering. 

"actually, i just graduated." 

"oh my god, really? that's great news, congrats!" 

"thanks, y/n." he says, smiling at you sheepishly. "i'll be starting my first residency in about a month at a university hospital back in New York." 

"oh i see, that's really great." you say, nodding. 

"and what about your girlfriend? i haven't gotten a marriage invitation from you guys, still waiting for it!" you laugh jokingly but heeseung deadpans in your face making you stop almost in a heartbeat. 

"we're not seeing each other anymore." 

your silence happens to be too deafening so heeseung chuckles in order to break it. he puts his hand over yours, rubbing his thumb on your hand to assure you not to worry about it. 

"it's fine, we never really saw it coming as well, so it's pretty much a shock to everyone who found out…." 

you just nod, chuckling awkwardly like jay did earlier. "i'm sorry for.." you trail off not knowing to show your condolences. 

it wasn't like she or heeseung lost feelings for him or something, both of them would be fucking crazy to do that. 

"it's fine. things fell out between us, i think she lost feelings along the w—" 

your loud gasp cuts heeseung halfway, leaving him hanging staring at you in shock. your eyes widens when you realize you gasped out loudly, which you gasp at once again. 

"oh my god— fuck," you sigh, apologizing profusely at heeseung. you were _really_ embarrassing yourself at this point, you didn't know how worse it was going to get after this. 

"i'm guessing you're really….. shocked huh?" heeseung laughs and you shake your head in embarrassment. 

how would you have known that your guess would've been true. so, heeseung's ex is indeed fucking crazy. 

"how can she? i mean, you're everyone's dream guy so how did she even…" you ask, feeling sorry for heeseung who's before you. 

you're right however, heeseung had always been everyone's dream guy. an old friend of yours and your brother's, an ex senior from your school as well. 

it's no surprise that everyone loved him, the same type of love that everyone loves your brother like, but more. heeseung was and has always been the blueprint, everyone's it boy. 

he lacks almost nothing, gorgeous looks, a smart brain that got him into NYU with a scholarship, he's loaded enough to afford a Porsche each month, and all other stuff that everyone admires him so much for. 

you did admire him at one point too, maybe even had a teeny tiny crush on him for the time he danced with you at a birthday party when your supposed partner was supposed to but he was too busy smashing his face in another girl's face.

he stepped up to you and told you he'd dance with you, with the dreamiest smile on his face and the most charming persona enough to have hooked under his spell. 

until she came into the picture and they hit off like a perfect match. the high school sweethearts that moved to college together and everyone was expecting them to get married. 

"it happens, when you're too used to someone you eventually get tired of them, no matter how much you love them— it gets boring and it doesn't give you the very same spark it does when it's fresh and brand new."

"but then again, i don't think i can ever move on from something that was never supposed to end."  

(a/n : YESSSS AFTERGLOW HEESEUNG CAMEO!!!!!)

his voice sounds dull, you feel sorry for him. the sigh he lets out is filled with so much agony and heartbreak you're guessing he's not over it. who would be, decades worth of love and time all wasted over his past lover losing feelings for him, such a loss. 

"heeseung… i'm sorry for that, really. you deserve so much better than that." you say, this time you rub your finger over his hand, comforting him. 

"she had always been the better, but i guess— for her to lose feelings, i was probably never the better for her." 

you sigh at his misery, just hoping he doesn't feel too down for the rest of the night. 

"it's in the past, things will get better for you heeseung, it's not the end of the world. you're still young, there's still more beautiful things waiting to bloom for you!" 

heeseung chuckles slightly, smiling at you as he looks up at you with the same dreamy eyes he gave you the first time he had you hooked. 

"you're so wise. it's lovely." he smiles. "i almost forgot, you look great tonight! it's really been awhile, you've gotten more beautiful over the years." 

you giggle, shaking your head. "thank you heeseung, the same goes for you too!" 

heeseung himself had definitely gotten more handsome over the years, the only downside is medical school must've played a big role in the eye bags under his eyes but it's really not too noticeable.

"oh, _i_ almost forgot, does sunghoon know you're back?" 

"how can he not? he was so overjoyed to see me back, i missed him more than i thought," heeseung says, and then looking over past the crowd to the 02z, they're still not moved, still talking but the only difference is jay is seated in the middle staring right back at the two of you with daggers. 

you're caught by surprise, but you don't say anything, enjoying the building tension once again. 

"and met the boys again too, they've grown up alot than the last time, i saw them." heeseung says and his words just turn into another one of the background noises when your gaze stays put on jay's. 

he must've been watching it all this while then. 

"i should leave now, it's getting quite late. got a few plans tomorrow," 

you turn to face heeseung again when he gets up, and your hold in his doesn't depart as you get up from your seat as well. 

"i see," you say, smiling at him back. "if you're free anytime over the summer, i'm one call away. i still use the old number. 

"sure, im one call away too, if you wanna hang anytime." he says, and then pulls you in for a goodbye hug. you take this chance to look over his shoulder, at jay but it surprises you when you see jay walking over with the most annoyed look. 

you must've pushed the right button then. 

"oh yes, i'm driving home, do you need a ride, i can dr—" 

"heeseung hyung," 

you both look over to the younger male joining the conversation. jay gives heeseung a smile when heeseung gives him a joyful one. 

"jay, what's up?" 

"nothing much, sunghoon just wanted you over, real quick too! i'm afraid you need to cut the conversation with y/n short," he says, then swiftly glancing between your hands and then back at heeseung's face. 

"i see," heeseung says and turns back to you. "sorry y/n, i'll drive you home, another time, alright?" he says, and then leans in closer to you, catching you by surprise. 

"see you around, yeah?" he says and then places a small kiss right on the corner of your lips, completely catching you by surprise and only intriguing a wave of jealousy. 

winking at you he leaves but you don't have any time to wave back at him before jay takes you by your wrist and leads you into the back of the kitchen, to the hidden corner, where no one can see the two of you.

"what are you doing, jay?" you ask when he lets go of your hand. "is everything okay?" 

"don't is everything okay me, y/n," he sighs, shaking his head as he looks down at you before he leans down to your level like heeseung had done before. "you got my attention, don't you think you have to deal with the consequences now?" 

your lips full apart to answer him but instead jay takes this as a chance to continue what had been discontinued earlier, this time hoping no one would cockblock the two of you, again. 

"drive me home tonight." you say, eyelashes fluttering as you look up at him, pulling away to catch your breath. 

"i can do more than just drive you home tonight, y/n." 

and so he did, proved you right. you didn't have a thing to complain about by the end of the night. when you tiptoed back to your room after jay had driven you back home in sunghoon car, after leaving the boys back, you were absolutely tired out and dazed.

and sore, and tired. laying down on your bed, you pulled the duvet over yourself, too tired to hop in the shower and shower. 

afraid his scent on your skin from the previous hours would go missing. his cologne, the taste of his lips, the ghost of his touches on your skin, all the memories come flashing back into your mind as you fall into dreamland with the biggest smile plastered on your face. 

when you woke in the morning you had immediately rushed to shower and the night before memory came rushing back as the water trickled down your body. 

you walked out of the shower, wrapped in your towel ready to lotion your skin until you saw yourself in the mirror, eyes widened. 

"holy shit," 

you trail your fingers over the marks in between the valley of your chest and all the way up to the collarbone, gasping at how sick it looked. 

you didn't know whether to be scared that if anyone saw your entire collarbone area covered in hickeys is terrifying or the fact these marks were lowkey hot. 

and then you remembered what jay had said the night before. 

"don't leave too obvious marks," 

he shifts in his place before smiling and then pulling you into a kiss again, then onto your neck, nibbling on the skin, making a hickey. 

"sure," and then he pulls you into another kiss, this time purposely missing your lips and kissing the spot heeseung had kissed you at just before, a few hours prior to this. 

when he pulls away there's a small red mark on the spot both of them had kissed at. 

"my mark as my girl," he says, chuckling and you swear your heart truly skipped a beat, making you feel all the things you should've felt with heeseung earlier. "i've told you before, i don't like people having what's mine already."

you bite your bottom lip before your lips grow upwards into a smile, and you try to not blush at the memory. 

"gosh, what the hell.." you sigh, shaking your head. you're pretty sure a hookup shouldn't have you giggling this way, but for some reason it did and it doesn't feel wrong at all. 

you then examine the marks, sighing at how obvious it looked. you're just hoping enough foundation and concealer can fix it. 

a few minutes later, after a lot of effort into hiding the hickeys, you then look into the mirror, hoping it's hidden pretty well. it was, but if anyone were to look closer into it, you can tell something's hidden behind the makeup. 

giving up, you just resorted into getting dressed and just heading downstairs for a late breakfast considering how your stomach hasn't stopped grumbling. 

"morning," 

you see jake by the stairs, putting on his jacket in the hot weather and you wave back at him.

"it's 1 in the afternoon, are you heading out somewhere?" 

jake smirks at you, "i know, it's called sarcasm baby," you roll your eyes at the pet name, looking away. "and yes, you wanna come along?" 

"where are you going? where's the rest by the way?" 

"heading over to the tracks for rehearsal, there's a race tonight." jake replies, following right behind you, hot on your trail. "the rest are already there." 

"oh," you nod, and then take the cereal box but jake stops you. 

"what?" 

"let's go," 

"go where?" 

"to the tracks," 

"no? i'm lazy."

"and?" 

you scoff at him, slapping his hand away from your arm. "it's scorching hot jake, i'm too lazy for that." 

"not even a free McDonalds can convince you?" 

you pause, and that gets a reaction out of jake. he immediately smiles when he realises he might have gotten you in his grip, "what do you say?" 

"only if we can get the combo sets." 

"SETS?" he gasps, and then wonders how much he has left in his wallet. 

"take it or leave it, jakey." 

jake ponders on it for a few seconds before signing, and giving in. "okay fine," he whines, and then points at you. "let's go." 

you excused yourself to change into a more appropriate outfit rather than showing up in an oversized shirt and shorts, which doesn't seem right for the venue at all. 

after you changed, you and jake drove off to the nearest McDonald's and after a lot of fighting, jake indeed got you combo sets and within minutes finished it all, leaving jake absolutely stunned.

"i know you didn't just finish ALL of that," he says, glaring at you as he reverses into the parking lot. 

"and i didn't even have any of the fries!" 

"you didn't even ask for any, that's not my fault," you say, laughing as jake parks the car and finally turn to you. 

"i did, you're just saying things now!" 

"uhm if so I didn't hear anything so," you say, shrugging and then jake leans into you and then smirks..

you start to panic, is he going to kiss you? you really seemed to be very kissing material these days, there's just a never ending list of guys leaning in to kiss you.

"i'll make you hear it then," 

you smile, feeling the rushing feeling going up through your chest and then up your throat. before jake could lean in any closer, you burp so loud in his face making him fall back into his seat in absolute horror. 

"oh god— uh i did not MEAN FOR THAT TO HAPPEN…." you gasp, feeling sorry for him all of sudden. 

"i— i, i think i saw god for a second…….. y/n.." he trails off, and closes his eyes, trying to not pass out from the shock. 

fast forward a few minutes later jake finally recovers from the trauma, you think so. you try to not laugh in his face even more while jake glares at you for pulling that shit on him earlier as you two make your way into the arena. 

as soon as you enter you spot sunghoon immediately and he's shocked to see you there as well. 

"are you really y/n? what are you doing here?" he asks, placing his hand to his heart, looking at you in awe. 

"shut up," you whine, rolling your eyes at your brother. 

"no for real, what has you coming here for?" 

"jake bribed me with McDonalds," you say, and then pointing to Jake who's glaring at you with a scoff. 

"yeah i wish i didn't, she almost killed me with that deadly ass burp— fuck i'm gonna throw up," he slaps his hand against his mouth and wanders off into somewhere, trying to not embarrass himself and throw up in the middle of the arena. 

"did you seriously do that to him, that's fucking nasty," sunghoon gasps, scrunching his face up in disgust at your actions, and gasping again when you laugh to confirm his guesses. 

you don't tell him jake tried to kiss you though, only dismissing it because jake would have a black eye when sunghoon finds out. you figured that would work as an apology for burping in his face.

your chat with sunghoon is interrupted when jay walks up to the two of you, taking of his helmet and wiping off the sweat on his forehead, then swiping his hair back as he looks at sunghoon. 

"you're up next." 

sunghoon nods and then pats your head. 

"i gotta go, see you later." 

you nod, giving him a thumbs up, "goodluck." 

you watch as sunghoon disappears into the group of people and then you realise how passionate he looked like, about racing. 

"i didn't know you would come down here," jay says as he looks down at you. 

"i don't," you say, smiling at him. "jake bribed me with McDonalds so, that speaks for itself," you laugh and try to not wheeze at burping in jake's face for him trying to kiss you. 

but then again, you don't mention it either. 

"it's gone?" 

"what's gone?" 

jay traces his hand on your collarbone, and then nods when he sees it's hidden by your concealer. you glare at him, immediately remembering the trouble you had to go through to hide the hickeys. 

"i told you to not make it too obvious jay," 

"yeah, you only said to not make it too obvious?" he says, chuckling. "you never said i couldn't make any at all," 

"it's the same thing." you scoff, squirting your eyes at him. "it's not baby," 

you bite the insides of your cheek, trying to not blush at the pet name except when jake used it on you earlier, it didn't give you the same effects as now. 

jay seems to find that you do like being called baby so he takes notes and then smiles at how cute you were.

"shut up," 

"i don't think you were saying that last night when i was—" 

"JAY!" you gasp, shutting him up with your hand over his mouth, staring at him wide eyed. he tears your hand away, laughing. 

"what? are you embarrassed now?" 

"no— i just— why are you saying this stuff in public!" 

"you didn't have a problem with screaming my name in public yesterday though," 

"jay shut up, oh my god," you whine, cheeks turning red, flustered only making jay chuckle. 

"the only one who'll be shutting up is you," he says, slipping his hand right underneath your waist, catching you by surprise. "right?" 

he's right, that immediately shuts you up and also the pulsing between your legs returns in broad daylight. it's immaculate how down bad you were for him.

"am i interrupting something?" 

you turn to your right to see heeseung in his racing attire as well, surprising you immediately when you push jay away. 

"yeah, we were in the middle of something, hyung." 

you widen your eyes staring at jay and then back at heeseung. 

"oh, i see, if so then—" 

"what? no ,he's just kidding!" you laugh awkwardly, waving your hands at him. "he's gonna go back to the tracks, right jay hahahaha!" you say, and then raise your eyebrows only to get a glare from him. 

"oh uhm.." heeseung trails off, rubbing the back of his neck, smiling at you and jay awkwardly. "i didn't expect to see you here, just wanted to say hi!" 

"i could say the same for you as well, you're back into racing again?" you ask, confused to see him here as well, in his racing attire too. 

"uh, yeah, in the meantime while waiting for the residency to start, you know." 

"oh i see," you nod, giggling at heeseung. 

"anyway, i'm free later in the evening, do you want to go out for dinner, if you're free—" 

"oh sur—" 

"no she's not." jay speaks up, crossing his arms against his chest, surprising the two of you. 

"uh excuse me?" you ask jay, widening your eyes at him signalling what the hell he's doing. 

you look back at heeseung, laughing again to clear out the awkward tension between them. "he's just joking! gosh, jay you're such a jokester today hahahahahahahah!" 

the two of them just stare at each other with you in the middle, not a word being exchanged. 

"uh— yeah, hee i'm free later, just text me for the details." 

hee? jay stares at you in disbelief at the nickname, for a reason it infuriates him. 

"that's great then. see you around, y/n?" he says, giving you a shy smile which you return back with a bigger smile at before he leaves. 

when heeseung leaves, there's smoke coming out of jay's nostrils so when you turn back to look at him you're stunned. 

"hee," jay mutters under his breath in a mocking way, making you chuckle at his jealousy. 

"what? is there something wrong with that?" you ask, looking up at the fuelled jay park.

"i didn't say anything," 

"do you want a nickname too?" you ask, smiling at him, sulking. "jay? jey? jayjay?" 

"you can make as many as you want," he says, glancing over at you with a smirk before he leans down to your level, to face your eye to eye. 

"nothing turns me on as much as the way you say my name though."

IN DILEMMA as you stare at yourself in the mirror. you place down the gloss, and sigh loudly. you're not sure why the guilt is building up in you when you're not supposed to be feeling guilty at all. 

it's not a crime to go out for just a dinner with an old friend (cut out crush), it's simply just a reunion over a small dinner, nothing extravagant like a date. 

but you're not sure why the one on your mind is jay, the boy you've been hooked on for weeks now, the one who's lips taste is still lingering on yours despite the cherry lip gloss coated on it. when all you're supposed to be thinking about is the man you're going to be out with in a few minutes, lee heeseung. 

"y/n!" you slap yourself, staring into the mirror. "get it together for god's sake," you sigh, slapping your cheeks again. 

you can do it, it's no big deal. just ignore the guilt in you and go on a date with heeseung, it's all fine, _no big deal_!

you get a text from heeseung that he's outside, making you get up and frantically rush around the room to get your clutch, and a few other things. after rushing to spray on your perfume, you head out to find heeseung waiting for you by the porch. 

"oh, wow." 

heeseung smiles at you, as he compliments your looks for the night. "you look simply gorgeous tonight, y/n." 

you smile back at him, thanking him as you compliment him back on the navy blue but black tux he has on, perfectly suiting him in every inch. 

"you look amazing too, heeseung." 

"shall we?" he asks, and takes your hand in his, leading to his Mercedes, and closing the door after you get into the passenger seat. 

heeseung joins you in the driver's seat and the rest of the drive is accompanied by a small talk between you two, until you guys reach the restaurant. 

and you have to say, lee heeseung went all out on this. you're wondering how his ex could have ever gotten tired of this, quite materialistic of you. 

"the food here is great, i hope you love the cuisines," heeseung says as he helps you out of the car and then locks it before walking into the restaurant with you. 

"good evening, mr.lee. great to see you again!" the waitress at the front greets heeseung and then gives you a brief smile before attending to him. 

"i have a reservation under my name," 

"yes sir, let's get you checked in." she says and then leads you and heeseung inside of the restaurant and all you could say about the place was it screamed rich, rich, rich. 

not your usual cup of tea, but enjoying a good dinner like this once in awhile is a good thing you suppose. 

"alright, here's your seat, i'll be right back to attend to you with your menus." she says as she stops the two of you inside a private room, you're guessing it must be a VIP spot considering how glamorous the spacious room looked for only a table for two. 

"thank you," he thanks the waitress and then walks over to you when she leaves. he pulls out the chair for you, helping you into your seat before he gets in for himself. 

you look around the room, awkwardly not knowing what to say until heeseung speaks up. 

"so, uh, you're with jay?" 

you're not sure how to answer the question, you're not sure yourself what the two of you even were. 

you hooked up, one time. three failed hookup times, but every kiss was amazing, you couldn't ask for better. you don't know if you like him, you know he doesn't like you that's for sure, in a romantical way. 

sure he makes you feel all the type of way every girl would feel from someone she likes but, do you like him, romantically?

you're guessing he's not more than just a summer fling, right?

but how were you supposed to explain it to heeseung? much to your dismay, fortunately you don't have to because the waitress walks in with the menus as she promised.

"here are your menus," she says and you both order your meals but yours is just recommend by both heeseung and the waitress, a few more words are exchanged between each other until the waitress leaves and you're back to square one again with heeseung.

"i'm guessing it's a yes, then?"

you look up to look at him, and you blink, unsure of what to say. 

"i hope you don't mind me asking….. i just—"

"are you hitting on me, heeseung?" 

you know you may or may have not fucked up by the way heeseung almost choked on his water as he stares at you wide eyed. your reaction has him chuckling in no time, realising that you're actually being serious. 

"is that what it looks like?" 

"it's the only logical explanation i can think of," you say, shrugging slightly. 

"well, to answer you question." he pauses, laughing. "no, i'm not hitting on you." 

you're confused now, so why was he acting like he was trying to hit on you? "i was just testing the waters." 

"mind elaborating?" you urge, staring at him blankly. heeseung smiles at you, leaning back in his seat. 

"i was trying to see if jay has finally got you," 

"what?" 

heeseung just smiles at you again, sighing when he sees that you're clueless, so clearly jay hasn't made his move yet. "that, i don't think it's my place to tell you." 

you whine, sulking at heeseung. 

"how can you just say stuff and then leave me hanging by the thread like that! heeseung!" 

the older boy just chuckles, taking a sip from his glass seconds later. "you'll see, soon. "

"but, you know, jay's a great guy," heeseung continues, speaking for his brother who isn't blood related to him. "despite the whole reputation he has tainted on him, he's a gem." 

you nod, listening to heeseung, completely immersed in the topic as it's about jay.

"jay's a great guy, i give you my word for that. he's amazing, honestly— i can't stress it enough, i'm exaggerating because he's my homie or anything but, anyone would be lucky to have jay in their life." heeseung says, giving you a warm smile at it, as if he knows there's something going on between you and jay. 

"you're no stranger to him right y/n? so you know how his childhood has always been," heeseung says and you agree.

you really are no stranger to jay, you've known him ever since sunghoon barged through the house with jake, jay and heeseung behind him, excitedly cheering that he's a grown up boy and has friends now! especially one that is older than the rest of them. 

you remember him spending most of his time at your place rather than his own, for reasons of course. jay never really had a great relationship with his family, sure his parents were in his life, still living under a roof together. 

but does all of that even matter when there's not a single ounce of love or affection? all that has ever been for jay is his parent's main priority being too engulfed into their business world that caring for their one and only heir has never been on their radar. 

but you know, that the love he never found with his biological parents, he found it in your home. with sunghoon, jay has always been treated like his very own brother— it's as if you were sister too but considering neither of you ever saw each other like that, that's another story. 

sunghoon has never let jay feel left out, always sharing with him everything he's ever had, even if not with, he's always shared with jay everything. from his toys to his dreams. everything.

your parents are no exception too, always welcoming him into their warm arms like jay is their own son. treating him exactly like you and sunghoon were always treated, with so much of love and affection. a family love, a type of love every human out there yearns for. 

they had always included him in family vacations, family activities, every breakfast, lunch, dinner, hangout— everything, jay was always invited. your home was basically his very own home too at this point.

however although you're aware you family has treated him him like their very own son, the lingering feeling will always be in jay : where his own family doesn't even care this much for him when another family, who isn't even his own blood does. 

so when that happens, it plays a major part in his growing up phase, but jay had always best the stereotype. that kids from broken families always fucks up, and has a ruined reputation. 

no, jay had always been an elite student in school. active for almost all of his curricular, a teacher's pet, star student— and is even loved by the students! popular kid, prom king, another it boy, the list goes on and on. 

though neither of that compares to the love and affection he's never had, the one he yearns for, you hope at least he's happy and lives a good life. 

"deep in thoughts?" 

"oh," you chuckle, shaking your head as you break out from the immense train of thoughts. "yeah— thinking about what you said, it's true." 

"right? considering things have always been like for him, i hope at least. the love he never got from his own family, he gets it from someone he loves." heeseung says, continuing from earlier. 

"and someone he loves i don't mean it by you know, sunghoon and the boys, partying, fucking around— i mean if that gives him happiness then so it be, but," he pauses. "by someone he loves, i mean like his romantic life. i hope that goes well for him especially, he's the type that never forgets his day 1 girl for a 1 day girl." 

you ponder on what heeseung said, letting it sink in. most men leave their day 1 girl for a 1 day girl, and jay not being them, just makes your heart a small flip. 

although you are aware that you don't like him romantically, the thought of being his girl, somehow makes you feel so giddy and on cloud nine. 

"i agree, i hope the same for him too." you say, nodding, and just agreeing with heeseung so he doesn't suspect anything wrong. 

heeseung just laughs, and then shakes his head. 

"i don't think we're supposed to talk about others when we're having dinner together," heeseung says, making you look at him. "but, guilt killing me so much that i can't stop thinking about her while i'm here with you." 

you're not sure how to react to that, not that you liked heeseung romantically to feel offended by that statement, but— his heart still belongs to his past lover at the end of the day, even while being on a dinner with another girl amuses you. 

you wonder, when is it your turn for your heart to belong to someone like that and that even if you have the most wanted, charming guy in the room wrapped around your fingers, nothing would compare to the one that has your heart. 

sighing, you lean back in your seat. 

"it's fine, i'm here for the free meal anyway!' 

and dinner passed in a blink of an eye, after heeseung and your conversation about jay, the two of you had just drifted onto another topic and enjoyed the talk over the overpriced food. 

that didn't even taste as good as the diner by your place where you hang out with your friends at. 

heeseung opens the door for you and leads you out of the restaurant, as soon as you do, the chilly breeze hits your skin, making you shiver almost immediately. 

"oh, here," he says, taking off his jacket and putting it over you. you're stunned but you thank him nevertheless, realizing that if you had just gone on with the dress you have on, you'd just freeze to death, although it's in the middle of the summer. 

"thank you, hee." 

the drive back to your place was filled with a comfortable silence, heeseung changing the radio stations when it got boring, and you just leaning against the window of his car, staring into the outer view while your mind's completely occupied. 

by the boy you couldn't stop thinking about ever since the start of summer. 

when heeseung pulled into your driveway, he got out ahead of you to open the door for you. thanking him again, you bid him goodbyes and give him a goodbye hug then make your way up to your porch. 

just as heeseung drives off and you reach for your purse a loud thud in the darkness scares the absolute shit out of you. 

"FUCK!" you gasp, for a moment your soul leaving your body when you see a tall figure get up from the porch and walk towards you. 

under the dim light of the streetlight, you calm down when you're able to make out the figure, realizing it's just jay. 

"what are you doing here?" you ask and he just stared at you with a sulky, annoyed expression. 

"jay, h— have you been here since afternoon?" you gasp, taking in his outfit. it's the exact same as the one from earlier in the noon, except he has a leather jacket over him now. 

"what, no." he says, and rubs the back of his neck. you fight back the urge to smile when you realize it's a habit he has when he's not being honest, often when’s lying. 

"are you sure?" you ask again and jay just looks away, slightly scoffing which doesn't go unheard by you. it makes a small smirk grow on your lips almost immediately. 

he wasn't waiting for you… right? 

"uh stop asking me questions! h— how was your so-called date with heeseung?" jay asks, turning around almost immediately, looking at you with an unexplainable look plastered on his face. 

"it went well, i guess, why?" 

"nothing, you just seem to— like it so much," he says, and rolls his eyes. "smiling ear to ear and shit," he mutters under his breath as he looks down at his shoes, next to you. 

you chuckle, biting your lip to hold back a louder laugh as soon as jay turns to you to give you a glare for laughing at him. that's when he realizes what you have over your body, a coat he's never seen you own.

and then it strikes him, it's heeseung's! 

"huh? jay, what are you doing!" you gasp when jay pulls the coat off you, catching you by surprise. he doesn't say anything when he tosses heeseung's coat onto the bench and takes off his leather jacket, then puts it over you. 

"you'll be a lot warmer now," he says and then avoids eye contact when you smile up at him. "what does he think he's in, a kdrama?" jay scoffs when he looks over at the coat on the bench and you roll your eyes at his pettiness. 

"thank you so much jay, i would've frozen to death if i didn't wear yours instead of wearing heeseung's!" you say, exaggerating the way you say it as well, mocking the sulky jay park.

"yeah, you should be grateful i saved you," he says, huffing dramatically. "your prince charming is here, not the guy that took you out for like a expensive dinner once— even i can do that!" 

you laugh at him, pushing his shoulder. 

"yeah? then why don't you do that, jay? who knows, maybe i'll give you a chance too." 

jay just shrugs at you, acting cool and unbothered when you laugh at him.  

"whatever, just go in. you're gonna get sick." he says, and points over at the blowing wind, signaling there might be rain tonight. 

before you could say anything else, jay just opens the door for you and pushes you in, before he gives you a brief wave and starts to walk away. 

"jay!" you call out, and drop your purse on the ground before you walk after him. jay turns around in a heartbeat and your lips collide onto his lips, leaving a small peck that makes his cheeks flustered. 

"y/n?" he asks, when you pull away immediately after the small peck. 

you walk back to the door, and then lean against the doorframe, before closing it shut. 

"i'll be waiting for the dinner invitation, mr.prince charming!" 

you give him a quick wave and shut the door, leaving the boy with his heart doing flips and mind going crazy. god, you're the death of him. 

"HAS IT ALREADY BEEN THAT LONG?" 

you and wooyoung gasp at karina who seemed to be occupied with her college hunt on her laptop. summer is ending soon, and you've barely got your shit together. all that's ever been going on is partying, getting wasted, fucking around with your loverboy endlessly and nothing else. 

though wooyoung just sighed it off saying he'd worry about it later and you both should go back to playing mario cart, you couldn't help but ignore the worry in you. 

it hasn't hit you yet that high school is finally over and that you'll be graduating less in a month! 

and then college comes, the young adult phase where all you can think about is assignments and deadlines, no more fun. what makes you want to tear up is the fact that the four of you, wooyoung, karina, seeun and you won't be together anymore. 

"can't believe you're like this," seeun sighs, and she lays on your bed, scrolling on your phone. 

"that's rich coming from you— scrolling on tiktok isn't going to help you apply for college either, seeun." wooyoung retorts, rolling his eyes at her. 

they're back at it again. 

you tell wooyoung to continue with the game as you rush out of your room to get your laptop and sit down with karina, getting down to work which you ignore wooyoung's pleas for not being brainwashed by her.

"huh, where are you going?"

you stop in your tracks when you see your brother rush out of his room, dressed up with his keys jingling in his hand. 

"oh, a few of my old friends are back in town, gonna fetch them." he says and you nod, getting an unsettling feeling about it. "and heads up, since mom and dad are gone for the weekend, they'll be residing here for two days."

you open your mouth to not agree with him but sunghoon cuts you off. 

"yeah and before you go on and off about it, i'll make sure we don't disturb you, geez!" 

yeah that's a lie.

with that, the older boy just rushes off with a brief bye to you, and you're just standing in the corridor, sighing loudly. 

you head into your room and just pick up your laptop as that's what you came originally for until you're stopped by a thought crossing your mind.

were the friends he was talking about are the people he, jay and jake were having a conversation about, a few nights ago. 

you hoped it wasn't, because the mention of the girl sunghoon couldn't stop associating jay with was already make you feel nauseous, and seeing her— you don't think you could do it. 

despite the obvious fact that you both are merely just fuck buddies and besides the fact you've both never addressed the relationship between each other, so that's what you've opted to.

just fuck buddies with no feelings attached. 

but you're getting a feeling that isn't going to stay forever like that. 

a knock on your door is heard and you turn around to see seeun peeking from the door slightly ajar. 

"you were taking so long, wooyoung said you might have passed out and some shit so i came to check," she says and you let out a small laugh. 

inviting her in, you both sat in your bed and you sigh loudly at the heavy feeling in your chest again. you hated when this happened, you don't even like jay romantically so you don't know why you're always so down the moment you hear him being with someone else. 

"is everything okay, you look sad?" 

you sigh even more, and then just decide to tell seeun about it. 

"i don't think i ever told you about it but, i've been into….. with jay for a while now." you admit and seeun just nods, the atmosphere suddenly getting heavier. 

"yeah, i figured— i hear those two talking about it sometimes and i see, " she points at your skin, which is slightly tainted with the older hickeys that you told jay again and again to not make it so obvious. "that," 

"oh, uh," you bite your lips, unsure of how to respond to her statement. you're not sure why she has a gloomy expression on her face when she mentions the hickeys and jay. 

"y/n, you know it's still not too late right?" 

"for?" 

"to stop yourself from getting involved in his mess," she says, frowning. "he's not good news, y/n." 

"seeun, he's really not that bad— trust me," you emphasize with her, defending jay as she nitpicks about him. 

"y/n you just don't see it right? he's not good for you, i'm telling you because i don't want you to get hurt by him!" she whines frustratedly when you're still defending the boy she loathes. 

"what do you know about him, seeun— this habit of yours, talking shit about just anyone has to go." you argue, sighing experatedly when she gets up from the bed and stands before you. 

"okay, so what do you know about him then, y/n? what do you know so much about the boy that just wants to fuck and leave you in the end, that you're defending him so much like this?" 

you're shocked, you don't know why is seeun so heated up about this argument that she's saying shit at this point. 

"what the fuck? are you serious right now?" you scoff, placing your laptop aside as you stare at her with a glare. 

"what did you expect then? i'm telling you that i know his fucking tactics so bad— i'm saving you from the hurt y/n! why can't you just listen when i'm telling you what's good for you?" 

"who are you to tell me what's good and what's bad for me, seeun?" you ask, genuinely confused where she's coming from. you know about jay's reputation, and if anything you've only learned more about him over the weeks. you know he's famous for fucking and leaving but you're the one who wanted this so you have to experience the consequences. 

"fuck, why are you like this, oh my god!" she grunts, gripping onto her hair as she stares at you in disbelief. "he isn't worth this argument, y/n." 

"why are you deciding that seeun— i don't even know why are you so fucking pissed about this, it's ridiculous," you pause. "do you like him, is that it?" 

seeun sighs, deciding that this is the only time she could bring it up, picking to go big or go home. 

"how dense can you be?" she asks, and you snap at her, with an annoyed expression painted on your face.

"being dense is your speciality seeun, because there's literally no any other logical explanation as to why you're so fucking against me liking j—" 

"GOD Y/N FOR FUCKS SAKE— I LIKE YOU!" and as soon as she said that the door bursts open and karina and wooyoung are staring at the two of you in shock. 

you open your mouth and close it back, completely stunned that you were expecting something but seeun confessing that she likes you definitely wasn't what you expected. 

"fuck jay, i don't like him— the one i like is you, and— you're so oblivious to that….." she trails off, tears streaming down her face at this point. you felt guilty all of a sudden at the sight of her crying, but when you reach for her she backs away. 

"i— i'll get going." she says and storms off past you and through karina and wooyoung. when seeun leaves, wooyoung rushes after her to comfort her as karina walks over to comfort you. 

"i didn't even know…." you trail off, falling back onto your bed with a slump, sighing. karina assures you that it isn't your fault, that neither of you guys ever expected that. 

"y/n, don't blame it on yourself— it's not your fault, none of us expected this. if anything we just thought the same as you," she pauses. "that she liked jay… or jake."

you sigh, shaking your head in confusion. you had no idea as to why everyone seemed to be putting you into a tight spot right now, everything pulled up on you. 

"y/n….. don't worry, you can talk it out with her soon.. when she calms down." she paused. "or at least when you both have everything figured out, she basically just confessed to you." 

then she looks at you when your gaze falls onto karina. 

"you have to give her an answer." 

UPON HEARING jake's departure back to gongjin for the rest of summer, you already knew your brother was going to throw a goodbye party. 

he just needed a reason to party. 

and you weren't in the mood for it, not after how things has been going downhill for you after seeun's confession. 

you hadn't seen her in awhile, after the whole fiasco and neither did you make any moves to give her an answer. 

you knew you didn't like her, in a romantic way. seeun has always been nothing more than just a great friend, so when she confessed you just realised and saw the bigger picture later on. 

how she always stuck to you, how she always wanted to hang out just by yourselves, just the two of you, how she knew everything about you from what you liked to what you had an ick for— even the things that karina or wooyoung couldn't care less to bother about. 

and the most obvious clue that gave it all away was how she always reacted when jay's name got brought up in the conversation. how she had always fell silent when the conversation was about the boy you're currently in daze with, and how she'd be annoyed and not interested whenever you spoke about him. 

and how she was totally against the idea of you having jay as your summer fling. 

you wouldn't have guessed a thing even back then, you'd just think she preferred to hang out with you better as she probably would have felt more comfortable than having you hanging out with a guy who has the golden title for fuck and leave. 

so even now, your feelings and how you view seeun hasn't changed a bit. you still love her very much as a friend.

it's clear as day that you don't have feelings for her, at all. what you're not sure of is, why you feel like your heart is already entitled for somebody else, and you're having suspicions that it might be the person you have in mind exactly. 

"is everything okay?" 

you look up at the boy hovering over you as he takes a seat next to you. you spot sunghoon and jake fighting over a gelato flavour by the counter at the front of the store. 

"uh yeah," you reply, smiling at him briefly and then going back to poking at your gelato as it slowly melts due to the hot weather outside the air conditioned store. 

"you don't sound too sure, and that doesn't sound assuring at all." he says, giving you a small squeeze on your hand. 

you sigh at him, feeling your heart beat increase when he flashes you a small smile that gives you a tiny serotonin boost. gosh, at this point you wouldn't be surprised if you were lovestuck and mad in love with him.

just saying…

"something came up— with my friend. it was shocking and my mind is just all over the place…" you say, frowning and jay rubs his thumb over your hand. 

"you can tell me if you want to— it'll help you clear out your mind and i can help if possible?" 

you contemplate for a moment and then shark your head. 

"it's alright, i don't want to burden you jay." you say, and give him a small smile. what happened between you and seeun should stay between you two only, considering how she came out to you by mistake through the confession, you figured it's not your place to be telling everyone her privacy. 

and— you indeed didn't want to burden jay, although he's an amazing listener and you can tell him all your worries in the world and he surely can help you out, if possible like he had said so— speaking from past experience. 

"if that's the case, then sure." he says, and then pats your head lightly, caressing your hair for a second with heart eyes. "don't mind me," 

your eyes widens when he pecks a quick kiss on your lips, igniting a short gasp from you in shock. 

"jay!" you clasp your mouth with your hand, staring at him in shock. "that's risky! what if they co—" 

and he pecks you again after pulling your hand away from your lips. 

"okay? and i'll do it again," he shrugs and you opted to say something before he kissed you again, making you flustered. 

"i'll kiss my baby if i want to," 

"y-your what!" you ask, flabbergasted at the sudden pet name. jay has never used any of those ever before, not even during your intimate moments with him. 

so him using baby casually in you definitely caught you off guard— especially when it rolls of his tongue so easily as if he's used to it, and as if it's meant for you. 

"i said, my baby." he says, taking a bite of his gelato and grinning at you foolishly, as if he's in love. "you're my baby, can't i call my girl that?" 

you take a deep breath, turning around and screaming silently as you tried to keep your cool. 

like, RUCOEKENFB WHATEHFUCKKKKEKRNRNTNRNENENNRBDNER HES SO FCUTYEYEUEE BANGGING NY HEAD AGAISNT THE WAKK STEAES SRTESDMING DMY FACE GIGKGGKING SO HATD SHAKINF MY FEEETTTTTBGODDDDDD HES THE ONE HESS THE ONE FOR TMEEEEEEEEEE. 

just like that, but in your head where your inner mind is threatening to burst and your cheeks hurt from smiling too bright and your heart beating faster than usual and your stomach doing insane flips. 

the symptoms of being in love. 

"you know it's going to be easy to fall for you if you keep on doing that, jay." you say, with the most toned down tone, but your smile beating you to it as soon as you turn around to see jay leaning over the table as he looks at you with the most adored smile. 

the one that has every girl starstruck at first sight. 

"yeah? that's the point. because i'm already head over heels for you," he says, grinning. 

for some reason his sentence gives you a sudden hope, and also a tiny pang that you chose to ignore because right now, fuck getting fake hope, you just want to enjoy this moment. 

"really? that's quick, i guess i'm pretty irresistible after all," 

"that has always been the case for me y/n," 

"jay," you say, sighing at him with a smile. now you'll draw the line and stop the conversation from going further because if it did, then you'd be having an entire procrastination session with yourself and debating if he likes you or not. 

though that shouldn't be the case if you didn't like him, romantically— right?

"shut up or i'll kiss you." 

"then k—" 

and you do, you lean in and place a quick kiss and then pull away giggling when jay is caught off the guard. he smiles at your brighter and pecks you. 

and then you peck him again, and he pecks you and you peck him and he— 

"we're gonna get caught." you say, stopping him which disappointed him a little. 

how much he wished you both would get caught and when sunghoon gives you both his blessings and jay finally makes a move, he can kiss you anytime and anywhere he wants to. 

but he doesn't have that privilege yet. 

"okay, last one." he says and pecks you for the last time before you both see jake running over to the table.

"god sunghoon is such a menace, he has such a bad taste i can't believe you have a brother like that, y/n." he says, catching his breath and sunghoon finally joins beside him and nudges jake's arm, scoffing at him. 

"i got to praise you for keeping up with him, really." jake says, shaking his head and then yelping when sunghoon knocks his head for mocking him. "dude at this rate i'm about to go back with a bump on my head!"

"you're asking for it!"

"not that deep, really sunghoon!"

"so are you guys gonna cut it out or…" jay speaks up, and then looks back and forth between his two brothers like friends. 

"dude? you too! looks like you guys can't wait to just send me off," jake scoffs and bites a spoonful of gelato with an offended glare. 

"sunghoon probably can't wait for sure so he can have all of your bitches," you say, shurgging with a mischievous smile when sunghoon glares at you. "other than that, i'm feeling sad that you won't be here for the rest of the summer." 

"thank you for your appreciation y/n, you're the best, do you want a kiss?" 

you're rolling your eyes at the question when sunghoon goes on and off again, about how you're off limits and how jake is an asshole and how he also doesn't want his bitches because he already has his girl. 

which you opted to ask him about later, seeing how she was back in town as well. 

while on the other hand, you feel a warmth on your thigh which catches you off the guard. 

"what are you doing?" you whisper to jay, who's already looking at you with a small smirk before he leans in by your ear. 

"do you want to?" 

"huh?" eyebrows furrowed, you're confused. 

"jake," he says, and you see him glare at jake for a second and then back to you. "do you want to kiss him?" 

oh..

"would that be a problem?" 

"i don't know, just that jake would never the light of the day if he kissed you," 

you give him a shy laugh, before shaking your head. "then i don't want to kiss him," 

"why? cause he'll never see the light of the day?" 

"no," you deny. "it's because then you'll be fuming with jealousy and i won't get a break from wanting to be kissed by everyone, it's a struggle, really." 

jay nudges his elbow at you while his hand is still plastered on your thigh, rubbing it up and down slowly underneath the table where the action is hidden from your brother and his friend. 

"what are you two doing?" 

you both look up at sunghoon like deer caught in headlights, blinking as if you've both caught red handed. 

"w—" 

"don't tell me you guys are planning to ditch me when he leaves?" 

a breath you were holding had let go when you realized he didn't really realize what you two were doing. with a look of relief you try to move away, to put distance between you two but jay holds your thigh still while talking to sunghoon.

"guess you caught us red handed," 

"fuck you three, can't have shit i'm telling you." 

the three of you burst into laughter and your head falls back which jay realizes is too close to the wall so he puts a hand behind your head to prevent you from bumping into the wall. 

an action that's unnoticed by you but noticed by someone else. 

"anyway, i'm really so annoyed that the girls are coming back right when i'm away— i swear gongjin better be worth it." 

"girls?" you ask, furrowing your eyebrows when jake speaks. 

"yeah, our old friends from high school, they're gonna be back in town." sunghoon adds on and a small twisted feeling grows in the pit of your stomach. "some friends that jay might enjoy …" he snickers but the two of you don't. 

and then sunghoon mentions her. 

"dude, seriously it's gonna be crazy like you and mai reconciling— don't gotta worry about being bitchless anymore, won't you?" 

your gaze falls onto the gelato cup, and then suddenly feel like jay's hand is making you uncomfortable in the midst of s conversation about him and another girl, that isn't you. 

it was so unsettling. 

"hoon, i told you i don't have anything to do with her anymore— i don't even… i don't even fuck with her anymore." jay says, indirectly saying he doesn't give a shit about another girl when all he ever needs is you who's slouching next to him with a frown.

"isn't that the point of her coming back though," sunghoon laughs, "like you guys getting back together and reviving what you both left back in highschool?" 

you remove jay's hand off your thigh and leave a gap between you two almost immediately when the air in the store suddenly gets down. jay turns to look at you but you're looking out the window trying to not be bothered by the conversation between your brother and jay. 

in fact, it shouldn't bother you at all. all this while it's been pretty clear to the two of you that the two of you are nothing more than just fuck buddies, so getting jealous and upset at the mention of each other being with another person shouldn't even occur. 

so why exactly where you drowning in jealousy and suddenly out of mood at the mention of mai and jay having history— at the mention of jay finally seeing her again.

countless questions run through your head and it's truly killing jay alive, he knows what's running through your mind and he's unable to stop you with sunghoon at the scene. 

"hoon, i think he's pretty serious bout' this— he's hard on not wanting to fuck with mai again, so drop it." jake says, nudging sunghoon when he's totally dense enough to not read the atmosphere in the room.

"yeah yeah, you say this all the time man," sunghoon points his spoon at jay. "in the end, you're deep into mai just like the old times." 

the conversation alone is enough to make you want to throw up so you abruptly stand up, catching everyone's attention. 

"i'm gonna head home first, i feel unwell." you say and walk past jay while sunghoon calls after you. 

pushing past the door, you exit the store and feel like your face was about to explode. 

"fuck," you sigh, not knowing why exactly why it's even this serious.

"y/n," 

you don't even turn around to know who it is, from the tone and voice it already has you intrigued.

"why are you after me?" 

"i don't want her y/n," 

"why are you telling me that?" you ask him, turning around with a sigh. 

"because you're upset…. sunghoon is just— you know him, i, i don't miss her or want to f—" 

"jay," you say, trying to fight back the urge to cry. "it shouldn't matter whether you miss her, or if you want to….." you trail off, not being able to bring the words out of your mouth about him fucking her. 

"i am not upset, i'm just not feeling well, really," you say, shaking your head and then jay walks to you and places his hand on your forehead which you move backwards away from. 

and that undeniably breaks this heart. 

"y/n w—" 

"jay don't worry about me. i'm being serious, you just…. spend the rest of your day with them, you don't have to come over later." you say, and move to leave but jay holds your hand in his, stopping you in tracks. 

"i want to worry about you, i can't just leave you like this?" 

"jay…." 

"y/n, i'm sorry. please? i'll get sunghoon to stop talking about her if it makes you uncomfortable…" 

"why would you do that? it shouldn't matter if your— if, mai bothers me, which doesn't so," you deny. 

"you're lying, y/n." 

"i'm not, jay—" you frown. "you don't even know me," oh, he really did know you well. 

"then i want to, know you. whatever that makes you feel better, okay? i want to make it better for you so, don't leave like this." 

you sigh, again. unable to slip away from his grasp, you massage your temple as you look at the boy before you. 

"jay, i want to leave, please i don't feel good." 

jay sighs, frowning as he buries the disappointment in his heart deep down as he nods slowly, giving in. 

"okay— let me help you catch a cab at least, please. " you agree, letting him do that before you're leaving the store leaving a sad jay behind. 

he tries to not walk in and just punch sunghoon right in face for never shutting up about mai, like he could literally care less about his past fling, when YOU, the girl he always needed, he's finally got. 

but now sunghoon just had to run his mouth and make you upset, and have you leave the place with things fucked between jay and you. 

groaning, he heads back into the store, trying to not punch sunghoon all the way and after a lot of persuading from jake, he calmed down and spoke to sunghoon, whilst you were on his mind for the most part. 

when you got back home, you were confused while jay's words rang in your head as you collected yourself from the mess.

why did he apologize to you? he didn't have the need to do that, even if you got offended by the mention of mai and jay. it shouldn't have bothered the two of you, jay shouldn't have even had a reason to explain it to you, yet alone ran after you just because you seemed like you were offended. 

you actually were but still.

"fuck," you gasp, cheeks heating up and your stomach churning in, suddenly feeling an unexplainable feeling that you always feel when you're around jay. 

is it possible……… that you…. like …..

him?

CROWDEDNESS has never been your scene, and your friends very well knew it. if anything, the entire summer proved that you preferred being with one person or even alone, away from the sweaty bodies and alcohol smell lingering in the air. 

but jake's farewell party is just as important to you as it is for the rest, including your friends. so it wouldn't have been right to skip it just for the sake of avoiding jay and their new friends joining tonight..

though you were intrigued to see mai and understand sunghoon's hype about her being back. she really can't be all that, right?

"did you hear?" 

you turn around to see wooyoung giggling, and pulling you and karina in to whisper. 

"hear what?" karina asks, but wooyoung shushes her, glaring at her as if it's a secret that's forbidden to be spoken out about. 

"apparently," he says, and then looks at you. "jay's here with his car?" 

"okay and, what about it?" you ask, rolling your eyes at the irrelevant information wooyoung says. 

"what about it? did you forget?" 

karina gasps and then looks at wooyoung, "oh my god," 

"yeah…." 

at this point you're the only one who's oblivious to what's the deal about jay's car until you remember what wooyoung had told you before. about jay's car. 

"oh," 

"OH? THAT'S ALL?" 

"well what am i supposed to do about it? go and talk to him while he's engulfed with mai and get into his car, so i can be the first person to ride it?" 

"well thats possible considering you've ridden other things—" you slap wooyoung's arm with a scoff. 

"dude shut the fuck up," you say, shaking your head at him. "he probably brought his car for mai or whatever, it doesn't matter." you pause. "why are even talking about that anyway," 

karina and wooyoung sigh, and then brings up another topic, before dragging you to the drinks counter to grab drinks. 

"you need to chill, so" karina says, handing you a red solo cup with an unidentified liquid in it. "yes it's alcohol, just drink it." 

"i was not planning to get wasted tonight," 

"yeah but we are so, you can't refuse." wooyoung says, and nudges you. 

"just let loose y/n, summer is ending soon, we won't ever get to go to parties and get shit faced after this, senior year summer only comes one time sooooo!" 

you laugh at karina slurring away, already wasted so quickly and then grab the drink out of her hand and chug it down as the two cheer for you. 

"fuck! that was—" you clear your throat, scrunching your nose when you swallow the last bit of the drink, head frenzy at the sudden rush. "so good, get me another one." 

and the night went on, you successfully avoided your brother and his friends, just dancing and drinking the night away with your two other shit faced friends. 

trying out beer pong, flip cup, drunk jenga, avalanche, never have i ever, truth or dare, and alot more that consisted of getting absolutely wasted— you finally chose to get a break from how your head was pounding already. 

"rina," you giggle at your friend who's taking a shot. she places the glass down and then turns to you with a big smile. 

"y/n my babyyyyyy!" 

you both giggle as you slur, and pinching each others cheeks. 

"i need to shhhhhhhhh" you imitate a pissing sound and she nods, giving you a thumbs up. 

"do you want me to follow you?" 

"no, noooo!" you decline her offer, letting her have fun and you would be fine on your own, not a big deal. "wooyoung will throw a tantrum if he finds out we're gone, stayy!" 

with a nod, you escape the crowded room and make your way upstairs in the not so familiar house. to your surprise, you found out earlier that sunghoon wasn't throwing the party in your house instead at his friend's house which is the current one you're in, though you have no idea who this friend was. 

one thing you know he's gonna dread letting sunghoon throw a party in his house, because the next morning is gonna be ass, and the entire town is invited when sunghoon throws a party.

you finally found the bathroom, and then head in quickly locking the door in case someone decides to walk in and throw up all over you while you're pissing all the liquid you had consumed from earlier. 

you were still tipsy after the quick bathroom trip, considering how much you've been drinking the entire evening. it's actually the most you've ever drank, a new record set. 

when you opened the door, to exit you stopped in tracks of the boy you've been secretly earning to see for the longest time, but your ego was up as an obstacle. 

"y/n," he says, not that he was expecting to see you cheeks flustered and almost no self stability. 

"jaaayyyyeee!" you gasp, wrapping your arms around his neck, catching him by surprise. 

"y/n? what are you doing? somebody might see us—" he's cut off short when you drag him into the nearest room and lock the door behind him before you lean backwards on the wall, looking up at jay. 

you're not sober enough to realise your actions, because clearly if you were sober, you would have sprinted the other way the moment you saw jay and instead of arms locked around him, erotic level skyrocketing through the roof at the sight of him so hot in his iconic leather jacket. 

"it's such a sad thing you're not mine, jay," you sigh, but then chuckle when a hiccup leaves your mouth by surprise. "but im yours right?" 

"yes, always y/n b—" 

"kiss me," 

"y/n wh—" 

"kiss me, jay." you say, and don't wait a second longer before pulling him in and closing the gap between you two, lips locking onto each other as the two of your lips move against each other, like a puzzle piece that was meant to be put together.

jay's hand stays on your waist, it irks you but you're too drunk to bother about it as your hand trails down his chest, and then fingertips touch the silver lining of his skin before he's pulling away.

"y/n, we can't."

"what?" you ask, confused as to why he's saying no— not that it has ever been an issue before for the two of you, and by how he's breathing and the painfully obvious tent in his pants, you're sure he wants it. so what's the issue?

"i don't want you to regret this," 

"jay, this has never been a problem before, what's the issue?" you scoff, crossing your arms as he moves backwards. 

"you're drunk, i'm not going to take advantage of you while you're drunk, y/n…." 

"im not drunk," jay looks at you with a knowing glare and it throws you off. "fine, but i'm sober enough to sleep with you so i don't see a problem here." 

"we're not even on good terms, let's talk it out first," he says, and you sigh, shaking your head. 

"what's there to talk about? you shouldn't even care, jay. we're not even that serious to talk things out between us," you say, but it just sounds like you're slurring words and the way jay is looking at you says it all. 

"you're just saying anything now— forget it, let's talk about it when you're sober y/n." 

you push jay's hand off when he comes to hold yours, "are you serious right now?" 

"w—" 

"no, jay. why can't you just fuck and leave like you always do, after all, aren't we just fuck buddies? there shouldn't be anything between us like this. all we should be doing is fu—" 

"what the fuck y/n." jay scoffs, in disbelief at the words straight coming out of your mouth. "are YOU for real right now?" 

"well does it look like im joking? I don't get why it's such a big deal to you now, just d—"

a knock interrupts you both and the voice that speaks from the other side of the door, has you enraged.

that seemed to definitely sober you up, worse than an advil on a hangover morning. 

"jay? are you in there? someone said they saw you go in there, you left me all alone." 

it's mai, the infamous mai. 

"so that's why it's an problem now, right?" you ask, pushing his hand away and turning around to leave but jay holds you back, which you yank it off yourself. 

"don't touch me," you scoff and open the door to a ginger, staring at the two of you confused but smiles when she sees jay. then the smile drops when she sees you, with him. 

"y/n w—" 

without a second of letting him continue what he was saying, you storm out of the room leaving both jay and mai behind staring at you. 

mai attempts to grab jay who's running after you but the annoyed look he gives her when she shoves her is enough to has her lips shut.

"ah, what the fuck? who even is she?" mai whines, holding in her annoyance at the boy she has been head over heels for. 

"his," she turns around to see jake, looking at her with a smug smirk. "first love." 

"what? that's not possible? i'm his first love?" 

"that's what you think," jake shurgs. "but she's the one he's gonna leave his one day girl for his day one girl— the one that jay has always liked, so you're pretty much not even in the story mai." 

mai scoff at what she thinks jake's being a dick of, though that's the plain truth and he's right. jake watches her storm off before he finally goes back to sunghoon, hoping jay finally gets it right this time. 

when he arrived at the front yard, he realized you're nowhere to be found and his heart starts beating in anxiousness. the what if's running in his head as he's looking around for has him wanting to pass out. 

he knows you're not in the frat house anymore because clearly you're smart enough to not stay there and he saw you leaving the house anyway. 

taking out his keys, he immediately runs over to his car and pulls it out of the driveway, earning curious looks from the attendees in the front. 

sighing, you rub your head. it feels like you woke up from a nap that cleared the drunkenness up in you and you're sober enough to feel the embarrassment and heartbreak you just went through.

you should have known it was always mai, whether or not you came along first or later and the embarrassment of his declining to fuck you was even worse than the time you accidentally moaned out too loud and jay held onto that to tease you for a straight week. 

the weather wasn't helping either, wearing a dress wasn't exactly ideal for tonight. seeing how chilly it was, it looked like it was about to rain too from how cloudy the sky was.

and then the first drop falls, then the next, then it starts drizzling and before you know it, it's literally pouring and you're just walking in the rain, being the most pathetic person in the planet at the moment while the guy you have grown fond and like is blocks away, probably legs tangled in sheets with another girl. 

a honk surprises you when a pair of headlights come into view, making you turn around. 

maybe you were wrong. 

the car stops right behind you and your heart stops when he steps out of it, running towards you as he gets soaked in the rain. 

he grabs your arm and tries to shield you from the rain but you yank his grip off you.

"what the fuck are you doing? it's raining, y/n are you insane?" he asks, and reaches to hold you again but step back. 

"why are you after me? since when whether or not i'm insane mattered to you jay? go back to mai or something," you say turning around to go the other way but jay stops you by moving in front of you.

"let's talk this out, inside. you're gonna catch a cold, y/n." 

"god, why do you even care! you're not even my brother!" 

jay's chest heaves, and you watch him sigh before shaking his head. 

"trust me y/n, when it comes to you— i'm most definitely not thinking like a brother would." 

"leave me alone, jay— which part of that do you not get?" you scoff, letting the words you don't mean leave your mouth out of anger when you meant none of it. 

and then he snaps. 

"FOR GOD'S FUCKIN' SAKE— GET IN!" his voice echoes through the rain and you stare at him in absolute shock. you absolutely pushed the wrong button when you see the pissed off expression he has on his face. 

realizing you weren't going to move anytime soon, jay grabs your hand, leading you into his car and letting you into the passenger seat. 

the immediate air conditioning in the car sends chills down your spine, right after getting soaked in the rain. jay gets in not long after, and lowers down the air-conditioning then he reaches behind and grabs, what you examine is a jacket. 

you lock eyes with him as he puts his jacket over you as he locks you in with the seatbelt, and in a swift he looks away before changing the gear and speeding down the road. 

you both don't say anything pretty much for the most part, especially when he's practically speeding— you don't wish to push his limits even more than you already shouldn't have. 

and you know you shouldn't be shameless, but the situation had you in a tight spot. pissed off jay is…… something. 

you know wooyoung would have knocked some sense into you for being absolutely ridiculous at the worst moment but you couldn't help it. 

jay drives into your neighborhood and you've never been more glad to escape jay when you see your house come into view. 

when he parks, you hold onto the door handle but when you pull it, you realize the lock isn't unlocked. 

"can you unlock?" 

"no— not until we sort this out." 

"i don't want to talk or sort this out jay, there's nothing to address."

he turns to face you and your heart stops because one, he was insanely gorgeous under the streetlights and the led light in his Mercedes making him look so fucking hot, and expensive. 

even after getting soaked in the rain. 

"nothing to address? are you being dense on purpose or what— it's bothering me." 

you remain lip-tight shut, staring at him in silence before he speaks up again. 

"you didn't even hear me you, you just left like that do you know i felt? i was so fucking scared something might have happened to you—"

"when did you even care?" you laugh, and then turn to look at him. "why do you care? like i said, aren't we just friends with benefits, considering how all we've ever done is just fuck?" 

jay looks at you, hurt displayed all over his face but you go on.

"the fact you're acting like you care, it's giving me hope jay. you need to stop doing that and just tell right, what am i to you and what we are." you pause, "you— you're just, a summer fling." 

before you could sigh, your lips are taken by jay, catching you by surprise, but as always, like it always has been that way, you kiss him back. this time like it's your last kiss, like you're never going to kiss him ever again. 

jay slips his hand onto your cheek, holding your face as he moves his lips against yours, a tear slipping past your eyes, coating the previous rain water on your face. 

you both pull away, catching from each other's breath, foreheads leaning against each other. you look into his eyes and he's already looking at you, and your eyes get glossy as your heart breaks. 

you didn't quite understand what he was trying to tell, you didn't know if what you were doing was right as well. 

"look me in the eyes, y/n." he says, almost like a whisper in the defeating silence, the only sound is the sound of the raindrops hitting his car outside. "and tell me if what we had was nothing to you."

"and, if i really am— just a summer fling?" 

you go silent, your gaze falls to your hands and you nibble on your lower lip, trying to find words to tell him wrong but none comes into your mind. 

because everything you did with him was never, nothing. and jay, is simply not just a summer fling anymore.

maybe at the beginning he was, but overtime when time went on, everything between the two of you changed. 

because summer flings who fuck each other don't get butterflies from just holding hands, or do you come all the way to your home just because you said you're not feeling too well instead of just wishing a get well soon. 

summer flings who fuck who's hearts don't flip when they kiss each other, or get all giddy when one calls another by a sweet pet name.

nor do they get jealous when a third person comes into the relationship, nor to they find themselves explaining when not even needed, especially when all the other person to them is just a summer fling. 

"because to me you're not— just a summer fling, y/n. i've liked you since day one, ever since the day you spoke to me when sunghoon brought me back to your home for the first time ever." 

the feeling you're feeling right now making you want to pull in jay and kiss him, making all ends meet just to get him as yours— but, is that really how it is supposed to be? 

"w—we can't…" you trail off, sighing as you pull away your forehead from jay's. jay holds your hand, not letting you go, keeping you in his warmth on the cold rainy night. 

"is this because of sunghoon?" 

it's always been because of sunghoon. whenever it came to your private love life it had always been because of sunghoon. 

to the point where'd you think he just didn't want you to have a pleasant life, where you'd have a boyfriend in. but you understand where he's coming from, as a brother it's only natural he'd want to protect his sister from all those sleazy guys out there. 

but constantly wrecking every single chance you had? that's not it. 

and the fact jay is sunghoon's best friend doesn't help any better. 

your expression plastered on your face just says it all for jay, he sighs and pressed your hands together, giving you reassurance. 

"i'll take care of it, don't worry." 

"that's not it, jay. it's sunghoon…. i can't betray him like this.." 

"then what about you?" 

"what?" you blink, looking back up at him. 

"then what about yourself? it's always been like this, you've never actually done anything in favor for yourself, either sunghoon always held you back from it or you don't do it because of him." he says, "when will you start doing what your heart wants, y/n? sunghoon can't hold you back forever."  

"chose to do what your heart wants, y/n. it'll be worth it— like who you want to like, date who you want to date, go out with who you want to, kiss who you want to—" he pauses, then looks at you with a small smile. "only if that person is me or i'll side with sunghoon for this one." 

you let out a laugh, slapping jay's arm, heart fluttering at his words. he smiles when you do, his heart flutters when he heard your laugh after a while, giving him a sort of assurance. 

you look out the window, and see it's stopped pouring already, just light drizzling but safe enough to walk out in. 

"i should go now, it's getting late." you say, sighing as you go back into your dilemma. you place your hand on the handle, this time a whole different emotion that before. "i'll think about….. what you said, jay." 

he gives you a short smile before unlocking the door and getting out before you, then opening the door for you to step out on right after he ends the engine. when you step out, it's almost so chilly that you get goosebumps despite having jay's jacket around you.

he walks you up all the way to your doorstep, you give him a small look before heading in and a huge sigh leaves you. 

he's right, you should do what your heart desires, and you did either way this happening at some point in you two's relationship throughout summer. 

back then it was just a small thing, like— what sunghoon doesn't know wouldn't hurt him but things have changed. 

you two no longer are just two people who fool around, fucking. you're both now aware of the feelings towards each other, and if jay was ready to give it up, why couldn't you?

sunghoon is to worry about later, but now— if you don't make your move now, then you might just end up losing jay forever. 

you know what you want now, what your heart wants now— more than anything, for once & for all.

it's more than clear that he's not just a summer fling anymore, you turn around, fingertips wrapped around the door handle once again, before you pull it open and step out. 

jay's jacket falling off your shoulders, onto the floor before you step down the porch and run back to jay. 

your chest collides with his back as you wrap your arms around him, taking in his warmth again. 

caught by surprise jay turns around to see you, looking down at you in shock as to why you're hugging him just right after he sent you off. 

"y/n—"

"jay." 

"this is my answer." in a swift, you pull him by his shirt, connecting your lips with his, eyes fluttering shut while your hearts fluttered like butterflies had been set free in you. 

jay's lips turn upwards, smiling against yours, arms wrapping around your waist as he tilts his head for more access. jay pulls away first, letting his forehead rest against yours like moments from before, as you both catch your breaths. 

"i promise it'll be worth it." he says, muttering against your lips and looking up at you. 

"then," you say, pausing before you slip your hand under his shirt briefly, making him look down and then back at you. "prove it." 

smirking, he gives you a small kiss, before letting you take his hand in yours and lead you back into your house. 

maybe this once, you're grateful that your parents were away and sunghoon was nowhere to be found.

hands in each others grasp, you both head up the stairs, giggles heard as you both get into your room and jay locks the door behind you as soon as your back hits the wall. 

his lips immediately latch onto your neck while your hands trail up his chest then lock your hands behind your neck, gripping the hair on the nape of his neck.

jay holds your waist on one, the other on your neck. the moment you feel his touch on you, your body feels electrified with love and lust. the air is getting thick with tension and immediate lust. 

you've never felt more alive now, and so does jay now. he feels even more alive now, with his lips on your skin, hands around your body— he's never felt more alive ever, not even when he's on the tracks in his second most prized possession. 

but nothing can compare to you, for him, you're his number one priority and prized possession.

the both of you pull away and stare at each other when you two realise it's time you need more. but this time, it's more than just fucking— you're both making love, a genuine one. 

"up," jay mutters against your lips, before connecting it back again when you jump a little and he catches you. carrying you to the bed, he lays you down without breaking the kiss. 

the moment you do, jay only pulls away to practically tear his shirt off, leaning towards you on top of you.

"i'm yours to keep, and i'm yours to lose, y/n." he says, sighing in relief before placing his lips onto yours, again. "i'm— yours." 

SUNLIGHT BLOOMING INTO your room to through the seeps of your curtains seemed to be the first thing you see when you blink awake. you don't recall a good night's sleep like the one you just woke up from. 

for a moment you almost regret waking up from such a magnificent sleep, but when you shift to your right and met with what seemed to be hard as a walk of bricks, your regret is washed away almost immediately. 

rubbing your eyes, you blink a few more times to realize finally what it was. toned chest? a naked one too…. 

then it hits you. the memories from the night before.

"you're awake," 

your eyes widens and your heart beats like crazy at how raspy jay's morning voice was— so fucking hot. the wetness from last night almost came back between your thighs. 

"oh— uhm, yeah." you say, looking up at him, with a smile. he greets you with a small smile, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear before sighing. 

"what?" you ask him, but he just shakes his head only to intrigued you more. "jay!" you tap his arm, but he shakes his head again. 

you sit up, pulling the sheets up with you to cover your chest as you're not dressed yet after last night's event. 

"you're telling me now or i'll kick you out." you say, with a pout which has jay almost kicking the air at, from how cute you looked like. 

"it's just— i'm a little jealous of people." 

"please elaborate jay," you say, eyebrows furrowed together. 

"how can they get to see your beauty for free— seriously, everyone should be paying to see you." he says, and a smile creeps up his face when your face heats up at the compliment.

you hit your pillow on him, laughing at the way he blocks it. "you're so corny!" 

"what! I'm just telling you the truth," he says, putting his hands up to defend himself before he sits up on the bed, the sheets covering up to his v line. 

you try to not lose your shit at how gorgeous he looked as well, the bed hair doing more than enough to make you want to punch your first in the air, fangirling about him. 

"well is it not true then?" he asks, smiling at you. "i'm pretty sure i can compliment my girl if i want to, and because she deserves it too." he shrugs. 

my girl. god, that only makes you want to kiss him so bad even more. 

but that makes you wonder— where do you both stand now, what exactly were you two now. 

"i can already tell what you're thinking, y/n." he says, pulling you towards him, making you sit on his lap as you look at him with those starry eyes. 

"you're like an open book, easy to read." he says, caressing your cheeks. "but, this is not the way i wanted to ask you out— i wanna do it in a more perfect way, not in the morning after i fucked your brains out." 

you push his arm slightly rolling your eyes at the mention of both of your actions last night. 

"but, to me," you pause. "anything is perfect when it's with you, jay." 

he smiles at you, his other hand holding your hand in his, thumb rubbing over your hand. 

"everything is perfect because you're already perfect, y/n." 

"i said stop being corny." 

"i'll be corny if i want to—cause no matter how corny it is, i mean every single one of it, love." he says, giggling. 

"but, i don't think i want to be just friends, or fuck buddies with you anymore, if it's not obvious yet." he says, smiling up at you as he speaks. "i want to be more than that. i want to do everything with you, even if i'm not your first, i want to be your last and forever y/n." 

you nod, tears brimming up in your eyes at his words, it's all perfectly overwhelming, just what you loved. 

"i'll promise to treat you right, i'll make you happy, and i promise to make every single moment with you worth it." he says, connecting his fingers between yours. "and you know, i always keep my words." 

"i know." you say, smiling back at him. 

"so what do you say, y/n y/l/n— will you, go out with me?" he asks, "a date you'll never forget, i swear." 

you blink away the tears, realizing perhaps maybe you're overreacting but truly, you've never felt this way towards anyone else before so it's only natural you're feeling this way at the moment. 

"my answer is…….." you trail off, looking at him before placing your hand on top of his chest, and then kissing him on the cheek. "yes." 

jay breaks out into a big smile, the one that makes your heartbeat faster and flutter. 

he couldn't ask for more than this moment. 

COUNTLESS OF DILEMMA have you encountered but nothing like the one you're having at the moment. 

which dress should you wear? 

jay told you he'd pick you up in the evening and you had barely even two hours left to get ready but you're having a dress crisis right now and you have no idea how to solve it. 

sure red complimented your skin tone but it's too bold for just a night out. but if you picked the white flowy one, it's too casual if he pulls up to a fancy restaurant which you'd feel too underdressed to. 

even after asking jay for the theme, he told you to dress whichever made you comfortable and not to worry much about the date.

but here you were, close to ripping your hair out because you needed to look gorgeous tonight. it's your first ever date with him.

eventually after a lot of procrastinating and debating with yourself, you decided to just go for the white sundress the simple choice is always the best— besides, it's broad daylight so you figured to not stress much about it, and even if jay took you to an expensive restaurant, it wouldn't matter, as long you're with him. 

by the time you were done, jay had arrived at your place and sunghoon was out again, so it just made sneaking out with jay easier. 

"holy…." jay gasps, hand flying to his mouth as he stares at you when he gets off leaning against his car. 

you immediately start to panic by how he's staring at you— were you not dressed for the occasion?

"what? am i in the wrong dress code?" you ask, your heart dropping at the thought of ruining the date already. 

"no…." jay finally speaks up, as his hand falls to his side and the other one holds a bouquet you hadn't noticed. "y/n, you're gorgeous." 

your lips curve up into a smile as your heart beats against its cage, so fast you're afraid it might burst out of you. 

"thank you, jay." you say, thanking him and then you take in his appearance. it's a surprise to you why he hasn't agreed to being a model at this rate despite being scouted by countless companies.

he seemed to look absolutely gorgeous as well in the white shirt with sleeves he had rolled up his arms showing off the hard work of him hitting the gym often with his black hair slicked back, one strand hanging out yet making him drop dead handsome. 

"you look amazing too," you say, coming up to him and pecking him softly on the lips before you two giggle at the adorableness. 

"here, i got this just for you, my beautiful girl." he says, handing you the bouquet of white roses, and god, did it make you feel like you were on cloud 9. 

"these are really pretty." you say, staring at them in awe, like it's the prettiest flowers you have ever seen in the entire planet earth. while on the other hand, jay was looking at you as if you were the most prettiest in the entire planet earth. 

"i know, but— nothing beats your beauty." 

"stop!!" you whine, getting embarrassed as you hide your face behind the bouquet, giggling when jay takes your hand in his. 

"god, you're so cute." he says, smiling at you before he ushers you into his car and you both set off for your date. 

you two stop by a bakery first, for a light breakfast because according to jay, you'd two be walking a lot and when you arrived at the destination, you finally understood why. 

you didn't know if he was aware of it, but he probably had no idea how long you desired a date like this, and how long it's been in your bucket list for. 

an aquarium date. 

you think you can gladly pass out in peace after the date. 

"huh?" you ask, looking at jay when he slings a small bag that seemed to be tiny and fitting for a camera— a camera case/bag?

"i brought it with me today, just for you, " he says, pointing at the camera with a smile. 

"oh, it looks really old though." you say, noticing how ancient it looked. perhaps it was passed down in his family? must be it, or he could've gotten a limited edition, antique one— it wasn't entire impossible. 

"yeah, it's my family's— a tradition actually." he says, and you nod along as jay proceeds to explain further. 

"in my family, there's this thing where for every first date moment, the guy in our family takes this camera along to capture the moment. at first i thought it was pretty much just a thing we had going on, but like— i heard it was also like a good luck item so, everyone who bought this along during their dates eventually got together in the end." 

"oooooh," you say, amazed at his explanation. "that sounds great! and very cute but—" you stop, and turn to look at him just as you both were about to enter the aquarium. 

"everyone really got together at the end?" 

jay smiles at you, then pats your head softly with love. 

"i see you in my future, so i hope that gives you an answer." he says, and the  takes your hand in his before taking you into the aquarium while hearts were practically flying around the two of you with big smiles plastered on each other's face. 

jay couldn't help but admire you the entire time, how cute you looked, staring at the sea life animals in awe with your starry eyes. the blue light radiating off the water in the dim made you look absolutely gorgeous. 

taking his camera up to his face to capture the moment, his heart dwells when you turn around in time with a big smile. 

click!

"hey! that's enough for me, let me take some of you!" you say, and practically forcing jay to give you the camera when he finally gave in, you made him stand right before the giant thick glass, just right behind a group of fish swimming back. 

such a perfect moment to be captured. 

click!

and in that moment, when he flashes his pretty smile, your heart skips a beat, and you realize that— you see jay in your future as well.

BY THE END OF THE DATE, you two were practically worn out, but by the sound of how loud your stomachs were growing, you two decided to bail out on a reservation jay made and quickly head to a nearby restaurant. 

good for the two of you, the place seemed to be good enough and it wasn't rush hour yet so you both immediately settled down in there. 

the waiter had successfully ushered you two to a table where you both sat down and enjoyed your meal for the most. 

"we got enough time," jay says, after chugging down his water. 

"enough time for?" you ask, staring at him and cheeks filled of food that jay finds undeniably adorable.

right after dinner, getting into his car, jay drove you to somewhere really far off the coast. you enjoyed the majority of the ride there, songs blasting as you both sang along to the lyrics and laughing each other's ass off at the wrong lyrics and broken high notes. 

"we're here." 

getting out of the car, you slip off your shoes and leave in his car before running off to the beach. jay follows behind you, with a smile on his face as he watches how gorgeous you looked so carefree, your hair caressed by the wind and your silhouette absolutely gorgeous.

beach trips at almost midnight might not be the most ideal but jay had remembered how you had it in your bucket list, so here he was with you, fulfilling it for you. 

he doesn't say anything when he catches up next to you, instead he just watched how you admire the ocean with sparkly eyes and how beautiful you looked at the moment wherein the moonlight reflecting on your face, brightening up the night.

"it's so beautiful," you say, taking in how beautiful the ocean looked in the eerie hours of the night. 

"yeah," he says. 

you turn to agree with him on the view but when you do, you're shocked to see him just looking at you with awe, instead of looking at the ocean. 

in midst of the sound of the waves moving around and water crashing off the shores, jay speaks up. and in that moment, everything else blocks out and all you hear is him, like it's only the two of you in the entire world. 

"stunning." 

flashing him a smile, you take his hand in yours, and the other cup his cheeks before you lean in and place your lips onto his. jay intertwined his fingers in yours, pulling you by your waist closer to him.

the adrenaline from your near fall is pumped through your system, pushing your heart rate into unhealthy territory. each movement is equivalent to the more your feelings get more in the moment.

you pull away first from out of breath but the way jay places a single kiss on your cheek and then pulling you into a hug convinced you that you'd continue the kiss if oxygen didn't matter. 

"i never want to lose you, y/n. i mean it." he says, and you wrap your arms around him. 

"i never want to lose you either, jay nor do i want to give you up in any circumstances." 

he pulls away and then looks at you. 

"even if sunghoon is in the way?" 

you give him a small squeeze on his arm before placing a small kiss on his cheek in return. 

"even if sunghoon is in the way." you say, and he pats your head softly, like he's caressing the world's best treasure. 

for some reason, the look he gives at the time, it gives you reassurance and hope that he truly means it, from the bottom of his. deciding to not say anything further you just give him a small smile.

turning around, he keeps his arms locked around your waist while you both stared off into the ocean, letting silence overtake the two of you. 

the night couldn't have ended any better. 

EVEN JAKE'S DEPARTURE hadn't hurt you as much as the news you had received from karina. that had only been the tip of the iceberg in the summer. 

"like it's supposed to be the time of our lives but leaving high school sounds unreal to me," wooyoung says, sighing against his seat in the diner. 

you twirl the straw in your smoothie cup with another sigh to accompany it.

"no for real, cause what are we actually gonna do when high school ends….. like grad and then!" he continues, mumbling in misery. 

you agree with wooyoung, the past few years had been so repetitive you're not sure if ending high school is a joyful experience or leaving you in a dilemma. 

perhaps back a few months ago when you were studying your ass off for finals, you might've been glad to end it for once and for all. 

but now that you're here, with your friends in a diner that had always been your local hangout spot, enjoying the very few last moments of you guys together. 

without, seeun. 

you've successfully avoided her for about a week now, and since you hit off with jay— but you do feel sad whenever she's not around whenever you guys would hang out at times. 

"uhm," you hear someone clear their throat and when you look up, your jaw almost drops to the floor. but you can't exactly blame yourself, wooyoung and karina had the exact same reactions as well.

"seeun?" 

as if the universe has been listening to your thoughts, you couldn't quite believe she was actually here after what had happened. and to be honest, the look she had plastered on her face, it was giving you mixed feelings. 

"sorry for showing up." .

"why are you sorry?" you ask, looking up at her as the other two stare at you, in shock. "you shouldn't be sorry for coming to hang out with your friends." 

"if anything, we should be sorry for not calling you along whenever y/n is with us…." karina says, finally popping the secret. she nudges wooyoung and he speaks up as well. 

"yeah, we just felt like you two needed time apart from each other…… after, what happened?" 

seeun just smiles at wooyoung and nods, not having any hard feelings. as rebellious as these two can be, seeun understands where wooyoung and karina are coming from. 

"i know, what you guys mean and where you guys are coming from.." she says, nodding. 

karina gives you a look you couldn't quite comprehend before she drags wooyoung to stand up with her and moves out of the booth before pushing seeun down to sit before you. 

"well, it seems like you guys need to have something to talk out, so we'll get going! just let us know when you guys are home!" karina says, and pulls wooyoung away after waving at you and seeun. 

"RINA NO I WANNA KNOW THE TEA—" wooyoung's screams are muffled as he gets further away from the booth leaving you two alone. 

sudden silence takes over you two as you both try to say something but nothing is leaving your mouths. when you decide to address the issue while picking at your nail, seeun seems to beat you to it. 

"i'm sorry." 

"seeun.." 

"no y/n, i just— hear me out first alright?" she says, and you just nod along as you listen to her before leaning back in your seat. 

"i am sorry, for what happened. i shouldn't have been selfish and just thought of myself and prioritized my feelings— i should have taken your feelings into consideration. and after, reflecting on what happened, i apologize for still bursting out at you, and still— growing feelings for you despite you making it clear that you were into jay, and getting mad at you for not acknowledging my feelings was just immature…" 

you two fall into another silence again before you understand that she's ready for you to response and say something back. 

"i, first of all— seeun, you shouldn't invalidate your feelings. your feelings must be an priority, of course to you, what i feel comes next— but i admit, i was offended at the fact you just bursted out at me like that but, still— saying you were selfish for liking me is unreasonable." you pause, giving her a small smile before continuing. 

"you can't help who you like, your heart wants what it wants, and you can't stop that. but just because you like someone, it doesn't necessarily mean they'd like you back." 

"you just said the most brutal thing in the most calm way, it helps with my heartbreak." seeun says, chuckling and you give her a sympathetic smile before putting your hand over the table and giving her a small squeeze. 

"i, will need some time. to move on from you, but you're a really great person, y/n— anyone would be beyond lucky to have you." 

you nod, smiling at her a little bit brighter. you just know jay would go frenzy to see you smiling like this at the moment. 

"and so are you, anyone would be blessed to have you as their partner— you're really amazing, but i'm sorry that person can't be me…" you say, whispering the last part but it doesn't go unnoticed by seeun. 

"cause that person for you, is already jay."

you look up, stunned at how she found out but she just laughs it off. 

"it's the talk of the town, even if you didn't tell me— i would've known either way, wooyoung has a big chatterbox mouth." 

you laugh at her commentary, before screaming your soul out when the mentioned boy jumps from behind your seat, scaring you in the process. 

"you're talking shit about me? really seeun, in my opinion you shouldn't be saying that when y—" 

karina walks up behind him, slapping his arm making him wince in pain. 

"tell me she isn't right, seeun you're so correct about that so ignore this menace." she says, and sitting next to seeun while wooyoung slips next to you in the booth. 

"were you eavesdropping wooyoung?" 

"what no!" 

"yes he was." 

you four burst into laughter when wooyoung's lie is immediately shut down by karina's truth. 

"ugh! you're just so!" 

"yeah yeah shut up!!!" 

"anyway, summer is ending soon," you say, cutting the two bickering friends off and they immediately turn their attention to you. "grad is soon, how do we feel about that?" 

"im sad," 

"no shit sherlock." 

and the conversation goes on for the rest of the day as you four catch up on all the missed contents and stuff you guys would usually catch up on, that you and seeun are finally on good terms again. 

however when you head back home and immediately receive a call from jay, you were definitely not expecting to see him showing up at your doorstep with a legit black eye in the middle of the night.

"WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?" 

jay walks into your house without a single explanation while you keep asking him on and on about what happened but he didn't budge until you got into your room, door locked. 

"are you not gonna say a thing? or do i have to figure it out myself before i lose my shit." you scoff, patience on this line and your heart aching when you see your boyfriend with a black eye clearly hurting.

jay sighs, and then takes your hand in his as he looks at you. 

with one eye. 

because it's really that severe. 

"just promise me you won't get mad." 

"just fucking tell me already!" 

he pauses, and then sighs before just deciding to pop the secret. "it's, sunghoon. he found out." 

"what the fuck? are you serious right now?" you ask, in absolute shock that your brother would do this. 

"y/n, just calm down first— it's a given he got mad and—" 

"NO? IM NOT CALMING DOWN?" you scoff, yanking your hand off his grasp, stunned at how he's telling you to calm down. 

"y/n—"

"no, jay— listen, i am not calming down. that doesn't exist in my vocabulary at the moment because you can't fucking serious right now. sunghoon just gave you a fucking black eye and you're chill about it?" 

"well, at least you can brag that i took a swing for you." 

you sigh, running your fingers through your hair as you look back at him, not sure whether to get annoyed or to feel sorry that your brother gave him a black eye just because he found his best friend was fucking his little sister for an entirety of this summer. 

"I can't believe you're not being serious right now, i'm losing my mind jay— what if something else had happened? what if you got seriously hurt, like actually hurt? god, jay…" you whine, unable to look at him and the injury any longer so your eyes starts tearing him for him, it's as if the pain from the black eye he's feeling, you're feeling it too. 

"y/n," jay chuckles lightly, pulling you into a hug and rubbing his hand over your back, calming you down. "i'm sorry for making you worry, baby."

you hit his chest as you collected your tears, trying to not lose it even more that he's considerate of you, and making this about you instead of him, the one who got hurt in the first place. 

jay's light laugh vibrates through his chest making you pull away your head from his chest while still being in his hold with his arms around your body as you look up at him.

"don't worry, i'm really fine. it was expected for sunghoon to take a swing at me the moment he saw me at the arena, after hearing the news." jay, explains as he pats your head softly with a small smile. 

you sigh, the urge of crying finally leaves but rage takes over when you think of the audacity your brother has to do this. 

"im gonna fucking kill park sunghoon." 

jay pulls you back into a hug, laughing as he runs his fingers through your freshly washed hair. perhaps his fingers would smell like cherry and blossoms because of your conditioner, but he wouldn't mind when he smells like you. 

"you're so cute when you're mad." 

"don't get me started on you jay park, why didn't you punch him back! don't say you did, because i know damn well you didn't," your gaze flicks to his knuckles to find bruises but it was squeaky clean, and when you looked back jay is already looking at you dumb foundedly. 

"im not gonna punch sunghoon, y/n. not now, or ever." 

"will you just lose an eye to him then?" 

"if it means i can have his blessings to date his gorgeous sister." you glare at him with a slight pinch in his bicep that freaks him out. 

"you're so…" sighing you just decided to drop it, knowing jay and how he is, he'd probably figure a way outta this. "just, let's get you cleaned up AND THEN, we talk about this." 

you rush over to your bathroom and get the first aid kit under your sink, making your way back to jay. you make him sit on the edge of your bed as you get between his legs while he man spreads. 

the way his lips are turning upwards already makes you know what he's trying to do. 

"no funny business, park." you warn him, "or else your dick will be the one getting the first aid next." 

when you lean down towards him to treat his black eye, jay pecks you in a swift, catching you off guard.

"i said no funny business!" 

"this isn't funny business to me, i'm just kissing my girlfriend, is that funny to you?" 

"jay!" 

it was gonna be long night, for sure. 

WHEN SUNGHOON CAME HOME the next day, all you could see was red but sunghoon saw worse than red to see jay leaving your room right when was back home. 

"no fucking way— you're ridiculous." 

you and two turn around to find sunghoon staring at the two of you, baffled with his arms crossed. and that's when your blood starts boiling. 

"su—." 

"keep," sunghoon pauses, looking directly at jay and his treated wound, before turning to you with a scoff. "my s— your girlfriend out of this." 

"y/n." 

"jay, no." 

sunghoon just laughs dryly, shaking his head.

“a fucking lovers quarrel, this gotta be a dream." 

"sunghoon i'll fucking kill you if you say another word." 

"go ahead, kill me y/n. go and kill me, for your boyfriend that i clearly reminded you about thousands of times to stay away from— but sure, you chose to be an fucking idiot and still go against my words." 

"why should i listen to you!" 

"because im your fucking brother for god's sake and i know how my friends are that's why i told you to stay the fuck away from them!" sunghoon yells, throwing his helmet to the ground, making a loud thud echo through the house and jay pulling you behind him. 

sunghoon couldn't believe his eyes, did jay just shield you away from your brother. must be a sick ass joke he thinks you two are pulling.

"dude, keep it down." 

"keep it down? how do i keep it down seeing my own bestfriend go behind my back and date my sister that i clearly told him multiple times that she's off-limits?" sunghoon scoffs in disbelief, not seeming to calm down anytime soon either. "and my sister, betraying my trust and fucking around with my bestfriend? seriously?" 

"for god sake it's not a big deal, hoon! what's a big deal is the fact you gave jay a black eye, over this?" 

sunghoon rolls his eyes, and then glares at you and then jay. "surely it's not a big deal, you must've had so much fun making me a fool all this while right y/n? jay?" 

you open your mouth to speak up but jay beats you to it. 

"fucking hell dude, the only reason i'm holding back right now is her— stop being such an asshole and see the bigger picture, you're being an idiot." 

"an idiot? you wanna lose another eye, park?" 

"both of you, cut it out." you say, tears brimming up in your eye. 

"jay, just don't— and sunghoon, i'm speechless. you're being absolutely selfish right now, like you're not even thinking of me? about how i feel, about what i want— how is it just what you feel and what needs to go your way?" 

"you've never once thought about me, what i actually want— and the one time i can finally have it, you're out to ruin it? god, how much worse can this get? how far will you go to ensure i’m never happy, hoon?"

sunghoon immediately goes silent as he stares at you, heartbreaking in the process at tears streaming down your face. 

"at least, this time— just let me be it. whether i get my heart broken, or whatever that happens, i'll be glad i was happy even if it's for  a moment in summer. " you say, and wipe away your tears. you see sunghoon flinch to comfort you but he stops himself when he senses you not wanting to be near him anytime soon. 

moving aside from sunghoon, you take jay in your hand and lead him out of your house. when you head back to your room after bidding jay goodbye and convincing him you'd be fine after a lot of "are you sure?" and "i can stay, or you can come with me", he finally left. 

by the time you did, sunghoon was longer by the door anymore, you guess he had gone back to his room probably deciding to collect on his thoughts after the burst out. 

although it's supposed you make you feel relieved now that the cat is out of the bag, you somehow feel anxious about the outcome and how you're gonna have to cope with it by the time summer ends and you have to leave for college. 

"DUDE YOU'RE NOT LYING, RIGHT?" 

sunghoon stares at his friend who's looking back with shock and well, disappointment and the vague of tiredness shown on his face. 

well, who wouldn't be tired when they're woken up in the middle of the night by their friend showing up at their doorstep, looking like he had just murdered someone..

"yeah, i wasn't in the right state of mind." 

"no shit sherlock bro," jake  says, rubbing his hands over his face and then let's out another sigh. 

"well, my only advice is to accept it, hoon." he says, pausing, making sunghoon sit up from his laid down state. "i get where you're coming from and all with your brother instincts, and stuff— but on the brighter side, shouldn't you be grateful it's jay and not some other guy who you don't know?"  jake says, shrugging.

"like if you see, it's better that it's jay. you know him, he's your brother sunghoon— and you know you can count on him."

"you're not wrong." 

"i know, and besides, you can tell how much jay likes her, he doesn't seem to be letting go of y/n anytime soon, and most definitely not ever." jake says. "you gotta give him a chance, hoon— he's a great guy and y/n doesn't have a better option other than him, she truly likes him alot too." 

"wait—" sunghoon says, furrowing his eyebrows when it hits him. "YOU KNEW? ABOUT THEM?" 

jake blinks and before he could defend himself, he just decides to hear an earful from his friend, after all it's now or never.

"you were the only one oblivious to it— even heeseung knew something was up between the two." 

sunghoon groans, falling back onto jake's bed. 

"ah really? i feel like a total asshole now." 

"that's cause you are, now go talk it about with y/n. knowing her, she's probably contemplating to make it up with you as well, unless she's completely thrown off about you and this matter." 

sunghoon rolls over to the end of jake's bed and sighs. "you're right… i should've known better than to react like that." 

"oh yeah, and better make it up to jay too— for giving him an black eye." 

sunghoon looks up at jake and lets out a soft murmur that jake didn't bother to catch on knowing he complained about having to let go of his ego and speak to jay.  

"also, what are you doing up awake at 3 am in the morning?" sunghoon asks, furrowing his eyebrows at jake and jake only sighs in disappointment.

"i understand why you never caught onto y/n and jay." jake says, glaring at his friend with drowsy eyes. "you're a complete idiot." 

HEARING SUNGHOON come back home, you immediately rushed up to your room, nothing to hears thing from him— it's too soon to cave in, knowing how you've always forgiven sunghoon after fighting almost immediately, it won't be the same this time. 

not after assaulting jay and being a complete asshole about you wanting to be happy on your own. 

sunghoon 's hope flows down the drain when he hears your room door shut as soon as he enters the house, the frown on his face deepening. 

however just before he could go up the stairs he catches his friend in the kitchen, going to go up the stairs as well but stopping in his tracks when he spots sunghoon. 

the two stare at each other, in a awkward silence where jay wants to confront sunghoon but sunghoon contemplates whether he should speak first or not.

so he does. 

"can you spare me a second?" 

in his entire lifetime, this had to be the most awkward and silent situation he has ever been in with jay. usually he and jay would go on and off about just anything, they clicked like magnets but today— there was a different shift in the air considering the recent incidents. 

"w—" 

"h—" 

the two look at each other and immediately burst into laughs, stunned at how they both spoke up at the same time. 

"it's fine, you can have the first word dude." 

sunghoon feels the pile of guilt  in his stack up even more at how forgiving jay had sounded already. nodding, he sighs before speaking up. 

"i'm sorry. to start off, i'm sorry for everything, the other day." sunghoon says and jay nods, giving him a small comforting smile. 

"it was totally wrong on my side, for getting mad at you and… y/n. i didn't have a single right to be mad at what you guys wanted— and especially for….. that.." sunghoon says, scratching the back of his next awkwardly as he points at jay's healing bruised eye. 

jay just chucked, shaking his head at sunghoon's awkwardness in addressing the issue. 

"i understand why you guys his everything form me, seeing how i reacted that day, even if you guys told me i would've reacted the same— it's just, it's y/n." sunghoon explains, his heart aching at the same time. 

"she's just, i don't want her to end up hurt, by making the wrong choices— i care for her, i love her so much i just don't think i'll be sane if i ever see her hurting, hence the overprotectiveness over her had always been there, it's still there, but i'm putting down my ego this time." 

"i want y/n to be happy, and if this is what makes her happy, then that's what it is. i won't be oppressed to it— y/n's a smart girl, she knows what to do— but if, you hurt her man, consider us done, and you'll be receiving a gift from me, again." 

jay just stares at sunghoon and sunghoon cracks a smile. 

"just kidding, that's not gonna happen but, still— keep in mind if you ever hurt her, you'll face the consequences man." sunghoon says and jay just nod along, taking notes mentally to never hurt you, not that he intends to anyway. 

"on the other hand, i want you to have the best as well man, i want you to be happy and if my sister makes you the happiest man in the world then i wish you the best of luck!" 

jay laughs, patting sunghoon's back before he speaks up with a short smile as you get on his mind. 

"you're right, she does indeed make the happiest man ever— if happiness was a person, it'll be her anyday. " jay says and catches on sunghoon trying to not gag at the sappy shit his friend was spewing, as they both laugh it off. 

"and thanks, for understanding hoon. i'm sorry for going behind your back and having this all happened, it's wrong on my side too." 

the two of the just nod, finally taking in that now that the air is cleared, "so, we good now?" 

jay asks sunghoon, immediately being welcomed with a smile and huge hug, taking his homie into his arms. 

"congrats man, for bagging  the best girl out there for you." 

"thanks dude, now" jay pulls away, looking at sunghoon. "y/n's turn, talk it out with her." 

SUMMER WENT BY QUICKLY as quick as it started, because it surely felt like it was yesterday you and your friends were out of school and sunghoon, jay and jake being back in town. 

speaking of sunghoon, it's also been approximately a few weeks since he made up with you and like the saying goes, blood is always thicker than water. 

but, you didn't cave in as easily and quickly, but it was still quick and you missed your best friend and brother. 

“y/n." 

when you turn around to see your brother, your heart sinks and you move out of his way, walking out of the living room but he holds you back. 

"please, stop ignoring me." 

you scoff, looking at him and the guilt and regret is just plastered on his face that the hatred and pain in your just decreases. 

"what do you want?" 

"i want to talk it out, and apologize." 

you look at him for a moment before agreeing, having no choice but to settle it now. you didn't want sunghoon to go back to uni with unsolved and hard feelings between you both, and you parents were also telling you guys to sort it out as it was making every family meal time awkward and it was definitely making them frustrated. 

settling down in the living room, sunghoon speaks up. from a to z, he apologizes full heartedly and you hear him out until the end, not saying anything nor showing at sort of reaction until he was done.

"i don't expect you to forgive me soon y/n, but at least—" 

"im not forgiving you anytime soon— but i'm sorry as well." you say, looking down onto your hands on your lap. sweaty from the nervousness. "it was wrong on my side too, for going behind your back to screw around with jay and hiding everything from you despite knowing i was betraying you the whole time." 

sunghoon pulls you into an hug almost immediately, catching you by surprise but nevertheless you wrap your arms around him. 

feeling at ease almost immediately, this felt like home and you had missed it so, so much. 

"as you're happy y/n," sunghoon says, smiling as he hugs you tighter, finally making up with his sister, or so he thought. 

"im not forgiving you yet—if you're genuine, you can start with, getting me any of the jungkook pc's on my wishlist." 

"WHAT!" 

"do you want to be forgiven or not, hoon?" 

"fine…. i'll think about it." 

the hug from sunghoon seemed to have helped with how rough some parts of the summer has been and how rough it's gonna get in the following final week. 

the worst part of the summer has always been the ending. 

you had your graduation later on the week and at the same time, the boys were going back to campus the day after. 

as much as it sucks, life goes on and it shows how only in the end only memories are left behind, to be remembered. 

"are you okay?" jay comes up behind you, pulling you into a hug from the back. only a few minutes ago, the boy behind you had sneaked into your room in the eerie hours of the night where you hoped only the two of you were awake. 

because it was gonna be a hassle for jay to rush out just in case one of your parents or sunghoon walks in. 

and you didn't want him to leave either, you wanted to make up the rest of the summer spending the best quality time with jay. 

because the thought of losing him the moment summer ends, it just simply scares you. 

"you've been spacing out for awhile now," 

you turn around with a small smile that jay immediately realizes is not genuine, so he takes your hand in his. 

"something's up, what is it baby?" 

you bite your lip before you speak up, holding his hands in yours. 

"i was just thinking of what's gonna happen when this week ends." you say, sighing by the end of it.

"you're graduating."

"that's not it," 

"then? you're finally out of that hell hole?" 

"no, that's not it too…." 

"th—" 

"it's you. you're leaving." 

jay looks at you, blinking when he remembers that he's leaving by the end of the week as well. that's when he also realized how he won't get to hold you like this anymore, or kiss you whenever he wants to, or touch you, or have you underneath him, or take you out on dates, or hear your laugh, or see you. 

perhaps for the time being, you both don't know what the future has in store for the two of you. 

however, despite that, jay knows that you still can't help but think of cons of the summer ending. 

"and?"

you blink, looking at jay in confusion, not sure if he heard what you had said or not. 

"you're leaving jay," 

"okay, and? that's not going to change anything between us baby." he says, leaning down to your level, with a sweet smile. 

"i'm still going to love you like i always have, my feelings for you will never change, if anything— it'll grow even more, because i'm never going to ever stop loving you," he says. 

"but i get your point, we're gonna be apart, i’m gonna go back to campus and you're gonna start applying for university, we'll get busy and you're worried about falling off? right?" 

it's like he can read you like an open book, you nod at your boyfriend. 

"don't worry, we're not gonna fall off." he says, patting your head. "i'm gonna make it work, we'll make it work. even if i’m a million miles away from you— you'll forever be my favorite girl, the one i wanna hear my good mornings from and the one i wanna hear good job you did well, all my goodnight from  and most importantly," he pauses to kiss faintly on your forehead. 

"the only one i want to get i love you's from." 

you smile shyly, trying to not blush at his sweet talking. but it's true, what he said it's vice versa. he's the one you need at the end of the way, he's the one you want to kiss in the summer rain, he's the one you want to capture so much of memories with, he's the one you want to give a victory kiss to and most importantly, he's the one you want to tell all your i love you's to. 

with a small kiss back on his lips, you pull him into a hug, taking in his warmth as it radiates comfort and peace. 

"i'm gonna miss you so, so much, jay." 

"and im gonna miss and love you all the way from there, y/n." 

just like that, days went by and here you were, on standby in the dress jay had gifted you and the graduation robe in top as you try to not pass out from the nervousness. 

this was the moment you waited for your entire high school life, the times when you were sobbing over math work and wished how you wanted to graduate and leave the hell hole soon.

it was finally happening. 

"Y/N, Y/L/N." 

going up the stage, you saw your entire high school life flash before you as you were greeted by the principal and he handed you the certificate and scroll with congratulations. 

when you got off the stage you were immediately greeted by your parents, pulling you into a hug and cheering congratulations you finally did it. 

"save some for us!" you pull away and see wooyoung running towards you with his arms in the air as karina and seeun chasing behind him. 

your bodies collide as you guys do a group hug, congratulating each other while wooyoung was full on sobbing his eyes out from you're not sure either not scoring choi san or if he was proud of himself for getting through the entire hell of a high school. 

"bitchless and graduated!" 

"that's both a W and L but me too," seeing agrees with wooyoung and those two pull each other into a hug as they cry on each other's shoulders. 

karina and you laugh at those two, heart warm and fuzzy from the overwhelming emotions taking over. 

"we're finally done huh?" 

"yup, don't and over with." you agree, smiling at her. 

"you don't have to cry about the pending assignments anymore."

"and you don't have to cry about getting the worst partner for projects and having to do all the work." 

karina gasps and cheers. "FUCKING FINALLY  IM FREE FROM THAT SHIT!" 

you laugh at her overjoyed state, too indulge in it to not acknowledge the figure next to you, pulling you in a side hug. 

"HOON!" 

"congratulations loser." he says, and pulls you into a full hug this time, catching karina waving at you before she disappears into the crowd. 

"thanks," you say, pinching his bicep making him wince but he smiles at you in pure proudness. 

"you're all grown up now, time flies fast." 

"you sound like a hag hoon, and we're barely a few years apart…" you grimace, shaking your head at how sappy he was, but deep down it made you happy.

"still, my little menace is all grown up now.." he says, and smiles at you. patting your head he says, "im so proud of you, you made it y/n."

you two just smile, and hug once more before your parents call sunghoon leaving you in the crowd alone as your eyes look around for a pair of eyes you wanted to meet so bad. 

and when you do, you feel like your entire world just froze, and it was only the two of you, a moment only of the two of you, and only for you two. 

jay walks towards you, looking like the most beautiful person you have ever seen, a bouquet in his hand that anyone would scream in awe at how gorgeous it looked— but to you, nothing was as gorgeous as the way he was looking at you with so much love and the pretty smile on his lips. 

"i hope im not too late." 

you smile, giggling as you shake your head. "no, you are not. you're just in time, if anything." 

jay smiles back at you, and then looks at the bouquet in his hand, handing it to you. 

"congratulations, my beautiful love." 

you look at the bouquet, close up it looked breathtaking, but the one handing it to you was even more breathtaking. 

"thank you," you smile, taking the bouquet from him. 

"you look gorgeous today, y/n." he says taking your hand in his, smiling at you ear to ear as he admired your beauty. 

he knew his choice has never gone wrong, but seeing you in a dress he had gifted you, you made the dress look like the most beautiful dress in the world worn by the most beautiful girl ever.

"thank you— you look amazing as well." 

"well, it's to impress my beautiful girlfriend that i very much love wholeheartedly."

"oh really? she must be really grateful then," you pause, pulling him closer by his wrist. "for having the most beautiful boyfriend in the world as well." 

closing the remaining gap between you two, jay slips his arm around your waist, pulling you into a kiss where the two of your lips move against each others gracefully. 

connecting your fingers between his, as the two of you kiss is making the butterflies in your tummy grow ten times more. 

pulling away as you two catch after your  breaths, forehead leaning against each other.

"I'm so proud of you, your congratulatory gift is after the match tonight," 

"any hints?" 

"you and i both are gonna love it and have so much fun." 

 "YOU GOT THIS PARK. YOUR FINAL GAME FOR THE SUMMER." 

jay gives sunghoon a tight lipped smile, nodding as his best friend encourages him. 

"and aim straight for the finish line."  

"you know me man, i never miss." jay replies, chuckling dryly while his eyes still wanders around the stadium, feeling anxiously nervous. 

"you seem like you're gonna miss tonight though," sunghoon says, crossing his arms displeased. jay looks back at him and then sighs. 

"if you're looking for y/n i think she's prolly wasted— she and her friends are out partying and i d—"

"found her." jay says, a smile immediately growing on his lips. he winks at sunghoon before heading over to you. "catch ya later hoon." 

he had been worried all night, worried you wouldn't had make it in time for the match he wanted you to be at. after all, it's the final one for the summer, and it's the first ever match he's had a girl wanting to cheer him on for. 

you rush over to your boyfriend, cheeks flushed and hair bit of a mess from all the head bopping back at wooyoung's house, getting wasted from the after party. 

you were drunk, but sober enough to be aware of your surrounding yet still drunk enough to wanting to sob over how gorgeous of a man, jay is. 

with his disheveled hair blowing slightly in the wind, and cheeks flushed probably from the chill breeze of the summer, and how fucking hot he looked in his racing attire with an helmet held around his waist. 

"hey baby, i thought you were gonna miss out on me." jay greets, smiling brightly at you, his cheeks starting to ache already. 

you seemed to look so beautiful under the lights in the stadium, making you look as gorgeous as ever. with the way your cheeks were flushed, jay figured you were probably wasted, but cutely.

"i'd never, im sorry im a little late though," you giggle, "if i reek of alcohol im sorry, again— the after-party was crazy, i wasn't gonna get wasted but im not too drunk ei—" 

"you're so cute." 

"what?" 

"you're so cute my heart can burst," jay says, chuckling at you as he ruffles your hair and then cups your cheek in his hand. "it's fine baby, no worries. as long you're here, it's all that matters." 

"ahhh you're so!" you whine, hiding your face from how he was making you blush. jay laughs, pulling away your hand. 

"stop hiding your face," he says, giggling when your try to fight him back but it was to no avail. 

"jay, you're on next!" sunghoon calls for jay, waving at him and the pointing onto the tracks which jay nods and then turns back to you. 

"i gotta go," he says, and then leans down to your level, looking into your bright eyes. "cheer me on?" 

you smile, nodding and then lean forward and place a peck on his lips. 

"you got this, goodluck my baby." 

placing another peck back, jay pulls away and puts on his helmet, does some adjustment and heads over to sunghoon before getting into his car. 

you watch him for a second before heading over to the VIP section where jay said he had a sport reserved for you at. however when you got there, you weren't really expecting to see someone. 

"HEE?" 

"y/n!" he smiles, standing up and giving you a brief hug, then leading you to your spot next to him. 

"i wasn't really expecting to see you here," you say, chuckling as you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear as it was getting your view. 

"me neither, but hoon forced me to be here and i figured why not— it's my final night here, im leaving next morning back to the town." 

you nod, oohing him and then focus back onto the game when you hear the announcement of the race starting.

"1, 2, 3!" 

the entire arena lights up and going crazy, cheering for their choice when the racers are off the starting line, onto the tracks. you keep your gaze focused on jay's car, cheering him on along side with heeseung in the cube. 

sunghoon was cheering jay on even more, standing by the front with his arms crossed like he's the boy's coach. 

"are you cold?" 

y/n turns to face heeseung who's already taking off his jacket for you, catching you by surprise, not knowing heeseung had realized how you've been shivering slightly from the AC in the tube. 

"oh, uhm—" 

"just take it, you're shaking." heeseung says, and drapes the jacket over your body and you just give him a short smile and nod before the two of you are startled by the crowd groaning and sunghoon scoffing. 

"shit! man keep your head fucking straight! you're all over the place!" he grunts, displeased at the turn jay just took that erupted his fans and your brother. 

clearly he wouldn't have if he didn't catch heeseung putting his fucking jacket over his girl. it somehow seemed to have piss him off although he's truly aware that heeseung has no intentions of hitting on you, but you can never actually trust men. 

"fuck," jay breathes, taking a sharp turn overtaking the rest of the racers and the way his lips curved up into a smirk when he neared the end of the straightaway. 

the cheers in the arena got louder and you along with the rest were on the edge when another racer catches up to jay. 

"fuck he's gotta make it," you say, worried as the two seem to be on their extreme speed. nibbling on your lips, you watch the race, chest heaving up and down anxiously. 

jay's steps on the fuel, overtaking the other racer speeding past the finish line, his adrenaline fueling his heart to beat rapidly and on cue, the announcers announce the win as the entire arena cheer and fireworks in the arena go off. 

jay's grip loosens on the steering wheel as he waits for the voice to come in through his helmet headset. 

"thirty six seconds," catching onto that jay finishes a few cool-down laps and then gets off the track after stopping his car. as soon as he gets down he finds you running out of the cube, heeseung's jacket falling off your shoulders and for some reason it makes his ego inflate. 

jay takes off his helmet and tosses it off to a extremely happy sunghoon who's too busy to worry about his sister and his best friend about to make up right Infront of him. 

"YOU DID IT!" you cheer, running towards him and collapsing right into his arms, gripped right around your body as he twirls you around. 

time stands still and it feels like it's only the two of you, hearts eating against your ribcages, cheeks aching from how hard you two were smiling, adrenaline rushing through your veins, the night couldn't feel anymore alive and better. 

pulling away, jay is still holding onto you as you two giggle, looking into each others eyes. 

with a smile, you cup jay's face and pull him into the sweetest kiss of the entire summer. a kiss filled with so much of young love, so much of happiness, proudness, so much of joy— a kiss that's for sure to be remembered. 

with your foreheads leaning against each other, you smile at the extremely happy and smile jay. 

"the victory kiss. you did so well baby," you say, and place a kiss on his forehead, arms locked around his neck. 

"god i'm so in love with you." he says, and leaning in, kissing you with his arms wrapped around your waist, dress flowing in the breeze and the warmth radiating of your skin, this is home for him. 

"are you two gonna cut it out or?" 

"we're not," jay says, looking at sunghoon who's clearly not amused with the two of sucking off each others face as if he wasn't just jumping off the ground, too joyfull from his best friend's win. 

"wh—" 

"give me the box." 

"what box?" 

"the one i gave you earlier, idiot!" jay hisses and sunghoon nods in realization, fishing out the tiny box from his pocket and handing it to jay. 

jay takes it from him and opens it up, revealing a carved necklace with the two of your names and stars decorated around it. so simple yet so meaningful that it's starting to bring up tears in your eyes and you feel like you're completely sober now. 

"may i?" he asks, taking out the necklace and then you nod, fisting your hair and letting him put the necklace around your neck. 

"it's… beautiful." 

"yeah, like you." 

you smile looking up at him. 

"i got you this, cause i 'm leaving for now— but i'm always gonna be here with you." he says, touching the necklace around your neckline. "always." 

"im gonna make us work, im never going to stop loving you because like i said, im gonna love you till the end. there's nothing that's impossible for us, and i need you y/n." he says, rubbing his thumb against your cheek when he cups your face once again. 

"if the multiverse is real, i want to be with you in every each of it. and love you to the fullest in every each of it, i'll prove it." 

closing your eyes, tears fall down your cheeks. holding in your sob, you nod profusely, smiling at jay, the absolute love of your entire life. 

"i love you." 

"i love you too, and more." 

giggling, the two of your kiss once more and pull into a big hug. 

"so it's final?" heeseung judges sunghoon who seemed up have teared up as well, from how happy his both sister and best friend were in the moment, absolutely admiring them. 

"yup, it's final." 

and like jay said, you too— hoped that if the multiverse is real, you want to be with him, and love him to the fullest in every each of it. because you'll always chose him. 

your summer fling. 

you couldn't have asked for a better summer, and this one, has yet to be best so far. best memories with the best friends of yours, the best brother you could ever ask for— 

and again, the best summer fling— the best boy you love wholeheartedly, you could ever ask for. 

[niki-phoria]

Hey! I don’t know if you saw TXT’s live today, but soobin was reading some emotional comments and he started tearing up a bit, then immediately finished the live he was also crying at the concert in LA :(((, so can u write TXT’s 6th member comforting soobin after he gets really emotional bc of moa’s sweet words until he’s calm and falls asleep in your arms 😭😭😭😭

pairing: soobin x gn!6th member!reader (no pronouns used) genre: fluff word count: 698

includes: established relationship, 6th member reader, lots of fluff sickening fluff, this is such a cute concept but i can't tell if i like the fic tbh

a/n: thank you for requesting !! i hope you like it :))

the stage lights beaming down on you from above are almost blinding as you stare out into the crowd before you. you smile as the cheers grow louder until they form a clear chant. “soobin! soobin! soobin!”

you glance over at him, stepping closer to wrap your arm around his waist. the light blush on his ears and neck spreads upwards until it fully coats his cheeks, making you chuckle slightly. 

soobin turns to face you, pulling you close so he can bury his face into the crook of your neck. you can just barely feel fresh tears sting against your skin as he clings to you, overwhelmed from the sudden love and support. 

yeonjun is quick to notice, reaching over to reassuringly pat soobin’s shoulder. you pull away just enough to gesture for kai to join you as taehyun also jogs over to join you. they wrap their arms around you and soobin, all but trapping you into a giant group hug together. 

you press a chaste kiss against soobin’s shoulder before you pull away, though his arm remains loosely wrapped around your waist for the rest of the night.

steam clouds the hotel shower’s mirror blurring your view as you leave your towel next to the pile on the floor. you tug soobin’s oversized t-shirt over your head and slip on a pair of sweatpants before sliding the door open and making your way back into the room. 

soobin lays sprawled out across one of the beds, adjusting his propped-up phone slightly. you smile to yourself at the sight. “y/n,” he calls, coaxing you over with a soft smile. “come here.”

you bush your damp bangs out of your face in a poor attempt to adjust your hair as you slide across the covers to sit beside him. soobin tilts the phone to the side so it captures more of your body. he reaches over to grab your hand, intertwining your fingers together. 

your eyes scan through the flurry of comments on the side of the screen, unable to hide your bright smile at moa’s words. 

“soobin~ fighting!!”

“you did well today, soobin oppa”

“soobin i love you!!💗”

beside you, soobin leans over to rest his head against your shoulder. you squeeze his hand in encouragement. he blinks away some of the tears in his eyes before sitting up fully to respond. “thank you, moa,” he smiles. “we worked hard today. y/n and i should get some rest.”

“we love you, moa,” you follow his cues, reaching over to grab the camera as you wave goodbye with soobin. “we hope to see you again soon.”

you end the live with the click of a button before setting the phone down on the table. soobin raises a hand up to his cheek, brushing away a stray tear. you shift so you’re sitting closer to him before reaching up to cup his cheeks with both of your hands. 

soobin pulls you even closer, maneuvering your body so you’re sitting in his lap. his hands rest comfortably on your hips as he looks up at you through still-teary eyes. “jagi,” you whisper, brushing your thumbs against his smooth skin. “don’t cry.”

soobin shakes his head as if to brush off your concerns. “it’s nothing bad,” he sniffles. “i just… i never thought we’d make it this far. we’re on a world tour right now. it’s all so… surreal.”

“you deserve everything and more, bin.” you softly smile, reaching up to brush a stray strand of hair back into place. 

soobin leans upwards to pull you into a sweet kiss. you smile against his lips, pressing a chaste kiss against his cheek when he pulls away. his arms wrap around your waist as he coaxes you to lay down next to him before moving slightly so his head is pressed against your chest. 

you smile, brushing your hand through his freshly dyed hair. soobin lets out a small sigh in content as he nuzzles closer into your chest. “i love you,” he murmurs as his eyes flutter closed. 

you press a kiss against his forehead, continuing to twist the strands between your fingers. “i love you too.”

[horanghoe]

until it hurts a little less

MAIN MASTERLIST /// TXT MASTERLIST /// IMAGE MASTERPOST

[UIHALL - PART 2.I HERE] /// [UIHALL - PART 2.II CONTINUED]

members/group: Beomgyu / TXT --- (mentions of Jon / NCT)

pairing: Hybrid!Beomgyu x Reader (Fem perspective)

genre: angst, fluff, heavy smut, hybrid!txt, minors dni !!

word count: 15.9k

T/W’s : heavy smut with frequent mention of hybrid features; this is purely fiction and not intended to harm. If you don’t like hybrid!au’s, please scroll on, peace and love!! (Pls dm me if you would like a trigger warning added ♡ )

shoutout to my fellow furry loving idiot ~ @raibebe

& A HUGE THANK YOU to all my beta readers ~ @kthpurplesyou / @rairecommends again / @gyukult / @flowerboykun

special cameo shoutout to miss angel ~ @moonctzeny

IMPORTANT AUTHOR NOTE - This fic has received a mass update since its original publishing date. I hope the edit serves as a greater service to returning readers; and doesn't take away from the original experience felt ♡

Music to listen to while reading ♡ (in no particular order)

Settle - (BAYNK, Sinead Harnett)

Never Seen You Get So Low - (Aquilo)

Be Like That - (Kane Brown, Swae Lee & Khalid)

Lo Que Siento - (Cuco)

Deja Vu - (Post Malone, Justin Bieber)

Come Over - (Jorja Smith, Popcaan)

Bleu - (agajon, Leonie Barbot)

A Storm on a Summers Day - (Full Crate, Gaidaa)

Happier Than Ever - Edit - (Billie Eilish)

긴 밤 (The Long Night) - (Seori, GIRIBOY)

Lonely - (Chloe x Halle)

Broken Clocks - (SZA)

Good Days - (SZA)

Frank Ocean as a genre, lmao

Your day had been simply awful.

Awful.

It was like everything that could go wrong in the world, did. And everything that didn’t; sure as hell gave it a try.

The pain started as soon as you woke up.

You were old enough to know when you were due on your period. Even had an app for it - with notifications, etc. But the past month had totally whipped by, and you awoke to ruined pajamas and a deep ache in your lower back. 

Fumbling for your phone, you swiped clumsily at the alarm cutting out the harsh noise before it could offend your ears any further.

Grumbling, you cursed your body for having such a heavy flow out of nowhere, before pulling your corpse-like body out from under the sheets and out into the cold air.

It was just a Friday. One day until the weekend. You could do this.

Willing yourself into positive thinking, you stumbled out of your room and down the hall - straight towards the medicine cupboard to dull the ache in your body and head.

"Jeez! You look like shit. Maybe you should brush your hair before bed, owner."

Almost missing the cat hybrid's words until the pointed end - the prophetical sentence a well-crafted hilt and the end the tip of the sword - you turned around with a sleepy frown and an exasperated sigh, ready to fight without your eyes fully opened.

But he had already disappeared.

Maybe you had imagined it.

Maybe adopting Beomgyu had been one huge, massive dream (or nightmare), and you were due to wake up any minute.

Unfortunately, that was not the case.

The bathroom door in front of you slammed shut, making your body shoot up and back against the hallway wall. Beomgyu's laugh could be heard behind the door; high and lilted, full of mockery.

Clinging to your nightshirt and abdomen you whined softly.

"Beomgyu! That was mean! Get out of there, I need to get ready for work!”

Said idiot snorted from behind the door, thumping his clothes into the washing basket. 

“Sorry, no can do. I’m going out to the cafe today to meet Yeonjun. Wouldn’t want to walk around smelling like you.”

Absolutely at a loss of words, you garbled a noise of frustration and pleading.

“Beomgyu - please - can you at least grab something from the cupboard? I need some … medicine… fuck. Nevermind."

You knew as soon as you had begun to beg, that you had already lost.

The sound of the shower tapped out from behind the very much locked and sealed door, the male humming to himself as you knocked your head against the wood. You curled over at a wave of pain, breathing through it before it subsided.

The night before, there had been... a disagreement. 

You had tried to initiate some ground rules. 

(Albeit, three months in could be considered a little late for a peace treaty, but it’s the thought that counts, right? Spoiler alert: it didn't make a difference).

The first point was that Beomgyu was to remain second on the pecking list.

He was arrogant. And a brat. But you were willing to work through it to not send him back to the adoption centre. He was a grown-ass cat-man and had the right to his own space; even if the local laws meant he had to have a human on his registry to do that. He was welcome to stay, on the terms that he could temper his ego, even just a little bit.

You had placed the handwritten ‘new-rules list’ in front of him.

He had peered over it with sharp eyes and a scoff, before crossing his arms and leaning back into the dining room chair.

"I'm literally older, bigger and smarter than you, Y/N. What exactly is your point? On all of this? I already work part-time to pay my way - this is a null request."

He had leered at you. Disgustingly smart, seemingly only when he needed to be.

"But - I'm - I'm your owner… Your - I adopted you…"

Beomgyu had howled with laughter, shaking his headbefore his eyes dropped and his gaze bore straight into you. 

"And? Just because you brought me here, signed the leasing papers; doesn’t mean I have to listen to your every beck and call. I’m not your little puppy on a leash, Y/N. Or maybe you’d prefer that. Someone to follow your every order. Maybe you should go back for Mingyu, I’m sure he’d die to get bossed around so much."

It was such a shocking change of aura that you were struck dumb. Sharp feline eyes and rigid tall triangle ears pointed straight at you had made you weak at the knees - the push of dominance, a very unfamiliar feeling. At least where the hybrid was involved.

He had always edged around your limitations but had never directly opposed you before.

At a lack of words, you had withdrawn the list. Shoving it into a kitchen drawer and trying your very best to avoid the emotions swimming in your lungs. Unsure whether to evict yourself or your anger via a punch straight into his - annoyingly charming, handsome, clean, frustrating, stupidly beautiful - face.

The rain had been relentless all week, and it had only seemed to add to your misery after defeat had been admitted. 

You sent yourself to sleep with a heavy head full of thoughts and a heart full of frustration. Sleeping through the loud music he played through the TV speakers. Fighting the occasional wakes from flashes of lightning and the thought of work looming over your next day.

Your sleep was troubled, at best.

It seems that last night's confrontation had only made him more irate.

And you knew it was stupid - knew it was mean and entirely selfish - but you couldn't stop the spike of emotions in the apprehension of a very long office shift.

Thoughts of emails, processing paperwork and phone calls and attending meetings; all flooded your mind's eye until you lashed out your frustration at the selfish idiot behind the bathroom door.

You knew he didn’t deserve it, but it sort of just happened before you could stop it.

Your fist solidly thumped against the door, with more strength than Beomgyu had ever expected to hear from you. You had never lashed out. So, in the comfort of the shower, he flinched harshly, bating his breath. 

Were you finally going to send him back? None of his ‘owners’ had ever lasted this long. He considered you more of an equal, but that uncertainty was like murky waters that left him too scared to test fate.

Considering the fact he fought bad types of hierarchy with the fervour of a forest fire; he was insufferable towards your lax rules around the flat.

And he would bite on purpose, just for some attention.

But, weirdly, he liked you. You were his opposite - disgustingly happy and optimistic. Buying him gifts when all he knew was hand-downs. Taking his bad behaviour as it came. That’s why your words dug deep into his psyche, deeper than he wanted. 

"God, you're insufferable! It's my flat! I brought you back here, pay for your shit! And you're the worst hybrid I've ever met! Maybe it would be a good idea to send you back since you keep fucking suggesting it!!"

Beomgyu closed off the shower. Breathing heavily as he quickly dried himself off. He needed to get away from you and fast before he said something he would regret. 

The door snapped open.

You realised your mistake as soon as the male stepped out from behind the door, shoving past your body and down the hall.

The look he had given you was as sharp as any knife. A pure scowl that was full of all the discontentment in the world. Piercing your lungs and squeezing your guts into a flood of guilt.

"I-I'm sorry - I didn't mean that - I just -"

You tried to call out to him; before his bedroom door slammed tightly shut.

As you showered, you considered the feeling sitting heavy inside of your chest. Empty and aching.

You - you didn't even like him, so why the hell did you feel so bad about confrontation when it came to Beomgyu? You had always bitten your tongue at his snide remarks, the poking. But you just couldn’t do it today.

You didn't even have much time to consider it. The second of your third alarms rang out, tapping your phone with a hurriedly dried hand to quickly cut it off before placing your forehead on the cold shower tiles.

It could only go up from here, right?

Your car wouldn't turn on.

Thrusting the key forward; one, two, three times. Before releasing a small cry and shaking the wheel in desperation.

"Why? Why me?! Today, of all days!! I swear, I'm cursed by this stupid black cat! Handsome fucking - cat boy! Stupid - argh!"

To anyone outside of the car... well they may have called the police.

The small vehicle rocked as you yelled into the (somewhat) private space. Each shout was permeated by the aggressive turning of your keys against the very dead ignition - probably doing more harm than good. 

Eventually, you pulled back to slump against the seat, admitting yet another defeat.

Reaching for your phone, you dialed the first number you could think of.

"Kun! Oh my god, thank you for picking up. Please, I need to ask a massive favour -"

In reaction to your rushed voice, Kun, your friend of maybe ten years or so, pulled the breaks on the conversation. He knew something was up, simply by you calling him instead of texting.

Who even does that nowadays?

"Woaahhhh there Y/N, good morning - what's up? Did something happen?"

"Yeah - yeah and no, actually. The issue is that nothing is happening... My car won't start - Beomgyu - and then - I don't - it’s all just going wrong, Kun. Sending a friendly SOS. Very much won’t be making it into work without your help."

The light laughter from across the phone pulled your migraine tighter across your head, but you were at least comforted by his silent support.

"You need me to come and pick you up?"

He asked calmly. Ever the rock in a flowing storm. Speaking of; a gust of wind battered the rain against your windshield enough to make you flinch.

"God - yes, yes please! Then we'll both make the briefing! Wet, but on time… at least."

Kun chuckled, confirming your location before hanging up.

The two of you made it into the briefing, barely on time.

Running through the halls in the mandatory but entirely stupid low heels. Cursing every God, Demon and Spirit on Earth for your luck today.

Upon arriving at the office’s car park, the storm outside only seemed to match your inner emotions. It welled, swirled, and looked entirely miserable but angry at the same time, with sharp changes of winds, and heavy downpour matching the ache at your core. You had totally forgotten to bring extra pain medication - and didn’t have the heart to ask Kun.

You and Kun had dashed out from his large Jeep to skid across the car park.

Obviously, your umbrella broke immediately.

But it hurt less as Kun hurried you in, taking the metal cage from you with bubbly laughter and throwing the metal immediately in the trash behind reception, pushing you through the doors to avoid the hawk-like receptionists.

"Jeez, I mean this as your close friend Y/N, but you might want to go clean up -"

Peering at yourself in the shiny plastic noticeboard, you grimaced.

Nodding at the wisdom of your best friend and immediately dashing to the women's bathroom to dab yourself with tissue. Contorting your damp clothes under the hand dryer, and simply begging for the day to get better.

It was within the first 15 minutes of the official meeting that you realised you had forgotten breakfast.

Some people could go without. You were not one of those people on a good day, and with today going the way it was - ah. The first rumble. 

Like a beast had just made its way into the quiet room and stomped on the table, demanding 'hear me! I am hunger!'.

You slinked down into your chair, positively embarrassed.

Across from you, a particular Johnny Suh smirked in knowing. He reached forward to tap at his half-closed laptop before a ping made itself known on your own laptop messaging system.

He nodded towards it, before turning his gaze in faux concentration to the projected screen upfront.

Groaning internally at the office hotshot noticing you for all the wrong reasons; you pulled your PC onto your lap, slapping the mute button and - pulling your open coffee cup onto the ground with your momentum.

The one Kun had shoved into your hands outside of the meeting room.

The one he had instructed you to keep a lid on, like your parent.

The men around you whipped their heads on a swivel to see the source of the noise.

The feeling of absolute dread and humiliation washed over you like a cold sweat. What you wouldn’t do to have the earth swallow you whole; bending down to pick up the half-empty cup and release a pent breath.

The guest speaker at the front cleared his throat. Continuing the meeting with enough decorum to exchange a nod with you.

Well, at least the coffee hadn’t - oh. Nevermind.

The hot liquid hitting your sleeve made you jolt, the last of the liquid spilling from the cup and into your upper forearm. You withheld a squeal - only for your face to flush and the cup to hit the floor all over again.

As soon as you hit the third hour of your workday - 11 pm sharp - your phone buzzed from within your bag. A flurry of messages hit your device enough to distract you from the current email draft.

Idiot Feline (Beomgyu) -  4 new messages

Sighing, you pulled the phone fully onto your desk to open it.

- I’m going out to the cafe to see yeonjun

- me and the band will be fucking around for a few hours after. not really sure for how long

- you left your house keys in the kitchen

- text me and I might be able to drop the keys off. or come find me. bye

You’re not sure why, or how, but the dull-sharp tone of Beomgyu’s messages really hit harder than usual today. Maybe it was your hormones, but it hurt to read such an empty message. 

The guilt in your stomach twisted into a ghostly kind of pain.

Why should he even say hi? Why should he care how your day was going? After saying what you did to him this morning, his lack of compassion towards your reply was mostly expected.

- ah - thanks for letting me know… I finish at five today - don’t suppose you could get me from work? It would be really appreciated…car broke, had to get someone to drop me in…

His response was immediate. The blue dots flashed up and fizzled out in an angry wave.

- shame. nope, sorry. like I said - we’re practising later. would probably miss your calls/the time anyways. break a window or something, since you’re so big and clever. 

You sighed, choosing not to text back.

Leaning forward to flop onto your desk. Closing your eyes - if only for a moment.

Taking a few deep breaths, the bags under your eyes began to feel heavier. The ache in your back just beginning to settle.

But the peace was momentary.

You were at work. There were phone calls to take. Work to be done, and deadlines to be met. Within this soulless shell of an office hall, you could at least ignore the storm outside for a little while.

Basking instead, in the aggressively white installation lights.

Your phone was dead.

Of course, it was. Why wouldn’t it be? 

Crying out loud in the staffroom, you willed the swelling of tears back down your throat like a python wrestling to escape your grip. 

The door opened, and a familiar - and not so unwanted person - stepped inside.

Local water-tank fuck-boy, Sir Johnny Suh. 

“Oh - hey Jon. What is it with you and catching me at bad moments today, huh?”

Quickly swiping at your cheeks in case of any escapee tears - you laughed through a sniffle.

Jon sat down opposite you. The large white table reflected his handsome face, but his smile was a lot kinder than usual. He dragged the chair under his legs before laughing and placing a lunchbox on the table.

Huh. That was very - domesticated, for him. You didn’t mean to judge, but he always struck you as more of a pot-noodle kind of guy. Not that there’s anything wrong with pot noodles.

“Hey, Y/N. Not sure, I just have this way with people, sometimes, I guess.”

His smile breached his eyes as he nodded towards your one folded sleeve. Pulling out a fork to prod at - okay, this was getting a little odd. A salad? In a cutesy little pre-made box? That was totally left field from what you were expecting.

“You okay? Didn’t burn your arm or anything?” 

His voice brought you back into the room. You shook your head sheepishly, brandishing your arm until he nodded. He was a little - awkward when caught alone, it seemed.

“No, just clumsy today for some reason. One of those days.”

Jon released a sound of understanding.

“Ah - gotcha. Bit of a shit show?”

You pulled back, feeling weirdly comfortable around the guy you had avoided for quite some time. Laughing weakly you nodded, placing your phone down on top of your laptop to massage your temples.

“Yeah - yeah you could say that. Car broke down, my phone just died, and I’ve been typing up an endless report.”

The two of you were oddly compatible, it seemed.

At least, he made you laugh for the first time since 8 am this morning. And that was pure gold. You told him about your morning, while he revealed some details about his life. He came here from America and had a cool family. No partner, but had a cat hybrid called Angel. Cute name.

Eventually, Johnny nodded towards your phone.

“Hey - that’s an old model, right?”

You pulled your spine up straight with a nod, about to explain why you hadn’t been able to buy a new one after adopting Beomgyu before he nodded.

“If you want - you totally don’t have to - I have a charger in my car that’s compatible with that port? I don’t mind taking you as far as the hybrid clinic if you want?”

You almost choked on your coffee (again), wiping your mouth to nod enthusiastically.

“Oh my God - you’re actually kidding me? Yes, please, that would be amazing - but wait, isn’t that the opposite way to where you live? I can ask Kun -”

Jon laughed kindly, shaking his head with a shrug.

“No, it’s totally chill, it’s fine. I need to get Angel from the clinic anyways. That’s on the way to yours, with a slight detour. She’s working part-time there, so, yeah. No worries.”

At his slight wink, you grimaced. You hadn’t been flirted with in years, and it was telling.

He laughed at your expression before you blurted an explanation to avoid offence. But he brushed it off, enamoured by your honesty.

It was different - and he liked different.

You managed to survive the rest of the day relatively well.

At least you had thought - you sat snug in the back of Johnny’s lush car, charger stretching from the centre of the vehicle console to your phone. 

Leaving it to charge while you chatted with Jon on the twenty-minute journey, until a message dinged on your phone.

Kun - 1 new message

- Idiot !! You left your computer on !!!! And your emails are wide open !!!! Hope you didn’t have anything important on there, with the 12 pm forced shutdown and everything. I at least locked it for you. Lots of love, shit for brains. Call me ~

The laughing emoji at the end of the sentence oddly, hauntingly, took your mind back to Beomgyu so early that morning. Or maybe it was the initial ‘idiot’. The feline had claimed that word in your mind, annoyingly. Every time you read it you heard his stupid voice.

Being around Jon - had been the only time in the day where things had actually worked out.

But it seemed like his luck was wearing off. 

Groaning, you thumped your head back against the headrest, sliding down the seat. The leather immediately seemed more uncomfortable than before.

Jon laughed softly before peering at you in the inside mirror.

“What? What’s happening now?”

Something about him asking. Something about him taking the time to care. It struck up that deep aching feeling in your gut once more, pushing you to take a few seconds with your eyes closed before releasing a held breath.

“My report - It’s gone. I don’t - I didn’t save it, literally any of it because I was in such a rush to go - I don’t… I’m gonna be in so much shit…” 

You forced yourself to clip your voice before you started to sob in the back of the hot man’s car. Dipping your head and masking your face by massaging your skull.

“Y/N - I’m so sorry. That’s so shit. I’ll put in a word for you - honestly, it happens to the best of us. I’m sure they’ll understand!”

Johnny’s attempts at comforting you were… futile. 

He didn’t know you.

He didn't know the importance of your document. Nor the time sensitivity. But you were too tired to argue, and too emotionally strung to fully explain. You knew you were homebound to an arrogant boy and journeying through the downpour was nothing but fodder for longing. Longing for it all to stop, so you could simply catch a breath.

Just one day. A few more hours. The weekend was within eyesight.

Defeated once more, you simply nodded.

The next ten or so minutes passed slowly. For the first time in days, the rain was a light drizzle. And the sun was trying its damndest to make an appearance.

The inside of Jon's car smelt like - well, him. A foreign cologne mixed with new-car leather. It was sort of nice. But also very unfamiliar. 

You were left feeling alone; in a car, you never belonged in.

Making it to the clinic, Johnny’s companion jogged out to meet your vehicle at the curb.

You were driven down the next motorway before Jon pulled off to let you out. He felt a little mean and apologised profusely, but you shushed him immediately.

Honestly - you were kind of happy to get out of the car.

Jon’s hybrid was lovely. Truly; an Angel. 

A cat hybrid whose tawny brown fur matched her pulled-back, soft-looking hair. She was pretty, very tall, and had a delicate, twinkling accent. And you got to see a different side to Jon too, if only for a moment. 

But that wasn’t what you had noticed, or been shocked by the most, within your brief exchange. You were shocked by her mannerisms.

You understood that every hybrid worked a little differently - but the characteristics were usually the same across the board. The innate, animalistic instincts, that is. But you hadn’t seen a lot of these behaviours before. Something was… off.

As soon as Angel had entered the car, she emitted a strong purr at Johnny’s side hug. Pulling away to quickly scan you before deciding you were trustworthy; smiles and greetings were exchanged.

Beomgyu… had never purred around you.

Come to think of it - Beomgyu had never even shown you his tail.

Angel seemed to groom hers out of habit, the limb resting on her lap as she smoothed and unknotted the fur. 

And her ears - Beomgyu always tried to hide his in his messy emo-looking mullet. Or at least, that’s what you came to presume; ogling at the way Angel’s seemed to flick and move about so freely.

Exiting the car, you took the break in the downpour to start quickly walking home. Pushing through the ache in your thighs to cut the distance by as much dryness as possible.

It wasn’t until you tugged your bag tightly over your shoulder that you realised you had forgotten your phone on Johnny’s centre console, charger still inserted.

What the fuck was going on with you today?

You couldn’t walk straight, couldn’t keep your emotions in check, couldn’t breathe as you fought the tears blurring your eyes. A slurry of grief slamming into you like a falling brick wall.

Just another straw on your back.

A stray droplet of moisture hit your nose. Your forehead. Your cheek.

What started as a light drizzle, soon picked up into relentless rain. It took less than a minute, and your skin was already wet to the touch.

You tugged your puffy black hood even tighter around your head. Lungs burning at the effort to not sob pathetically into the middle of the street. Your feet hurt. You were sopping wet. And you had a twenty-minute walk ahead of you, into the outskirts of town.

A soft gust of wind forced you to look away, tucking your chin into the coat even further. When something struck you. The inner lining of the coat smelt familiar - yet, different from your own perfume.

This - wasn’t even your coat?

What? How was that even possible? Did you pick the wrong one up from work?

Confused, you swiped your wet face with your wet sleeve, tugging at the collar until you revealed the inner tag on the side of the hood.

‘Beomgyu’ It read, in neat black sharpie.

Confused. Alone. Shivering, and enveloped by the aura of someone who hated you. 

You sort of forgot how to exist for a step or two.

You stopped, and turned to look up and down the empty country road as you considered the bus stop shelter in front of you. It was somewhere past 6 pm, and the autumn sun was on its fast descent into the darkness.

But you needed to stop. Just - just for a moment, a short while. You couldn’t take it anymore. Tired, and lonely. Surrounded by bustling trees and large splatters of liquid splooshing against rivers in the street. 

Following the stream up the slight hill by the side of the road, you approached the last dimly lit bus stop before your house. The lighthouse in your washed-up storm. Meekly entering to see nobody present. You crumbled onto the seat inside of the shelter. You were torn between ripping your coat off, taking your shoes off or simply not moving.

Choosing the latter, you took a moment to release some of the tears in debt from the night before. So troubled by something you wanted to forget. Such a stupid, stupid thing to be upset over.

You considered every step of your day. Everything you could have avoided, changed. It was your fault, your mind yelled. You chose bad luck by adopting a black cat, right? No - you argued mentally - you were the issue. Not the person in your home, nor the superstitions.

Everything bad was down to your decisions, and it would be you who had to pick up the pieces. Alone.

Pulling your body and thrown off items up from the refuge, you followed the street lights of the familiar home-bound path. Numb to the lashing of wind, the coldness of the night seeped into your soul and the jittering of your teeth was violently dimmed by the sound of mother nature's passionate winds.

The house was in sight.

With bare feet - coat and shoes in hand - you continued your slow and defeated pace towards the building.

You almost dreaded entering - the lights inside all switched on alerting you to Beomgyu’s presence - even considered turning away.

But without a phone - your money all on contactless - no keys, and in this state.

Where else could you go?

Stepping into the house entryway, you took a moment to wipe your face.

You weren’t even sure if you were crying anymore. It could have been the rain.

You were dissociative as you knocked weakly at the door. Expecting no answer. You wouldn’t blame him for leaving you outside. It was your fault your day had ended up like this, anyways.

Beomgyu had been trying to reach you for hours.

You never ignored his texts - and for a while, the calls didn’t go through to dial.

But after a good twenty attempts, the call finally went through.

An unfamiliar voice answered. A male colleague. Johnny. 

Beomgyu couldn’t help but prickle - this being the last person you had supposedly been in contact with. And as much as he had no right to want you back after being nothing but a nuisance - god, he couldn’t think about you with another man.

After the first hour, he ran circles. Entirely triggered by the ordeal. It took him to his deepest darkest fears trapped inside, but he couldn’t lie to himself. He couldn’t let himself not care. Maybe he had pushed you too far? Had you abandoned him? Did you hate him enough to leave, and never come back? Had he truly hurt you?

He was an idiot. A mean, selfish, stubborn feline. But God, he was still part human. And it pained him to think of you stranded and potentially swept away by the storm raging outside. He would take a screaming match over this situation, any day.

He couldn’t leave the house - since you didn’t have a key. And he had no neighbours to leave the key to. The other half of the flat is vacant, and Beomgyu is untrusting of strangers. He called his older friend, heart racing as he considered calling the police. You were so - small, and kind - what if someone had taken you?

“Hey, hey, hey, cool off kiddo. I’m sure she’s fine. Maybe she found a lift or something? It’s not too late, don’t panic just yet. She could be walking home.”

Yeonjun had offered over the phone call, shocked by the panic in his friend's voice. It was rare for him to worry about someone so much. The last time he saw Beomgyu so distraught was the last time he was taken back to the adoption centre.

Three years ago, after his owner’s boyfriend fought him over nothing but faux dominance within the home. He was left scared and scarred. Doubting of strangers and prickly to kindness. With that morning being the only time you had ever shouted at him - he was scared of the worst-case scenario. 

“You guys had an argument this morning, right? Maybe she went to a friend’s place to cool off. Y’know, like you came round mine today? Give it an hour Gyu. If she doesn’t turn up before eight, we’ll get the boys to help find her. She’s probably fine, I promise.”

The elder fox hybrid did his best to calm him before he had to go. Leaving Beomgyu to sit anxiously in the silent apartment. Fiddling with his hands, pacing. He just wanted you home.

Around 7 pm was when a weak knock hit the thick wooden front door.

Beomgyu practically leapt from his place on the sofa, padding out to the hallway. Skidding around the corner to reach for the handle and lock, to pull simultaneously. 

Not even taking a moment to compose himself, he pulled the heavy door open to see you standing there.

Your makeup had streaked down your face. Hair matted. Body sopping wet.

He could hear your erratic heartbeat pressing through your thin fabric, despite the whipping winds whistling against the buildings.

He could smell the hormones of sadness and fear rolling off of you in waves; like a tsunami flooding the hall.

You were barefoot - and somewhere between your bottom lip wobbling and your shivering body holding his coat, he couldn’t help the anger that washed over him.

For what felt like a millennium, the two of you stood like two rangers, awaiting the other to draw their weapons first. In reality, the time elapsed was less than a few seconds.

Ultimately, Beomgyu was the first to shoot. And he aimed well.

”You - fucking idiot Y/N - would it kill you to be more careful?! Jesus, get inside -”

His large hand gripped at your elbow, pulling you in and past his body in the thin space available.

“Where were you?! It doesn’t take that fucking long to walk from the highway - you’ve been gone for hours!”

"Y-Your c-coat-t -" You began to apologise, teeth jittering from the cold.

The door slammed shut behind you, Beomgyu snatching his coat from your grip, taking your shoes, and throwing them at the doorway behind his legs.

Anger is a secondary emotion to sadness, and fear.

He had felt both today, and he was struggling to temper himself. 

You tried your best not to cry. Humiliated, and at a loss. Backed up against the cold exposed brick wall.

“Why the fuck did you take my coat?! It’s not even waterproof Y/N - seriously, are you trying to get ill? Is that what you want? To get sick? To get hospitalised because you’re so fucking forgetful? Because you take joy in other people worrying about you?!”

You stifled a whimper, tucking your head down as you shrugged. Gripping at your icy skin.

Beomgyu’s ears flicked up out of his long hair, aching to hear the sounds coming from you. He was stunned for a moment. They aimed at your dipped head and the way you swiped aggressively at your weathered skin. The moving water on your cheeks - they were tears. 

The emotion in his voice ripped through you, water pooling at your feet as you trembled. You were so overwhelmed - couldn’t speak, couldn’t even look at him. Closing your eyes you flinched at the sound of him punching at the wall behind you. He didn’t want to scare you but had to express his twisted emotions somehow.

“Please, please, please can you try to pay a little more attention to things, so I don’t have to worry about your safety all the goddamn time? Shit, Y/N, what if I wasn’t here? Who - who would have come to find you? Nobody Y/N!  Don’t do that shit to me ever, ever again! What if you had been taken - or - or hurt in the storm?! I was ready to get the boys for fuck sa-”

Your eyes were pressed shut, hands reaching up to show your palms in defence.

“I-I’m sorry, okay. I’m sorry for making you worry. But please stop shouting at me, I - I’m so tired, Beomgyu. A-and I’ve had such a s-shit day… P-please… Just stop shouting, I can’t take it anymore…”

The sore heaviness of your words cut short Beomgyu’s breathing pattern. The silence in the hall became so thick you could slice it. The only sound coming from your jittering teeth. 

Something painful bloomed in Beomgyu’s chest.

Frowning in an effort not to cry, he let out a sound of desperation. In the most gentle movement you had ever experienced, Beomgyu stepped forward to carefully cup your face.

“You - you pretty idiot, Y/N.”

His warm palms covered your jaw, pushing the hair out of your face before gently kissing your forehead. His body drew closer as he choked up. Adam's apple bobbing as he pulled you into his chest for a tight squeeze. It sent you for a spin, eyes bleary and unfocused as he pulled you back to the wall by the shoulders, face irrevocably close to your own.

“P-pretty -?” You whimpered, a little lost. 

“You might be a forgetful clutz, but that doesn’t mean I don’t see how hard you try… Jeez, Y/N, I've never been more worried about someone in my entire life. You’re so beautiful, but - God, such an idiot. Don’t scare me like that ever, ever again. Shit -”

The world kind of stopped spinning for a moment, when Beomgyu showed you how much he truly did care.

A shaky hand tilted your head back, to place a kiss on your lips.

It was pressed. Slow, heavy. Weakly, you gripped his shirt. He could feel your heart pound against his fingertips through your pulse; your mixed scents washing over him in an unknown shiver.

His lips warmed your cold ones, pulling away to wipe at his own face. He was crying. For you.

You reached cold fingertips up to his cheek to wipe them - it made the area wetter than before and did little to help, but he smiled, laughing softly.

Shaking his head, Beomgyu pushed you back against the wall, peppering your lips with quick anxious kisses until his mouth stayed long enough that his tongue danced with your own. 

Truly, he was just happy to be able to hold you.

He gripped at your thighs; pulling them up around his waist to press you against the wall in one swift motion, securing you with his hips.

Heavy kisses were pressed against your neck and jaw, as hot tears slipped over your cheeks. 

Small, sharp canines nipped gently at the soft skin of your collarbone. Before kissing open-mouthed love bites against your throat. So deliberate, careful and passionate.

You considered never leaving, as his hands dutifully held you against his body. Head tipping back as more and more waves of emotion started to flood out, now that the plug had finally been pulled. 

"Why are you so upset, Y/N?" The feline asked gently. Pulling away to press a feather-light kiss to your lips. He watched the way your face pinched, struggling to form an answer. Noting your white knuckles from the grip of the warm fabric at his shoulders.

“I know it’s not just the storm.” He whispered. “And I know it can’t be totally down to your hormones.”

Beomgyu could feel it in his gut, smell it on your skin; the way you ached about something even harsher than getting caught in the rain. “Tell me.” He pushed, gently coaxing you to open up to him.

“I won’t leave you alone until you do.” Each kiss to your body proved to press the seam of pain apart until it ripped suddenly; revealing the anguish tucked neatly underneath.

Unable to speak, you carded your hands into the back of Beomgyu’s hair, heart painfully beating at pace with the butterflies sparking up a fire in your belly.

He paused for a moment. Dipping his head to your shoulder as your body scrunched up against his torso, tightly, before you unleashed an ugly bubbly, cry. He allowed you to push your fingers up and through his hair, pulling him against you. Enveloped in security. Boards against your shoulders weakened by the weight but withstanding the push.

He was warm, and smelt like home. And you never wanted to let go.

“I’m so sorry.” You whimpered, a sob ripping through you. 

“I-I’m a really awful person, and I can’t seem to get anything r-right. My car broke down, m-my phone died, I burnt myself, f-fucked up at work. And I've been in s-s-so much pain - and so, so hungry - all f-freaking day. My favourite work blouse is ruined and I just - I'm s-so sorry, sorry that I'm so useless, that I forget th-things a-and I drop things, I get tired, and th-then I shout -”

Beomgyu, surprised even at himself, emitted a deep, stomach-rumbling purr.

He pressed his lips to the nape of your neck one last time, before relenting the weighty affection to instead rub his nose up against the curve of your jaw. Purring gently through pursed lips.

He considered how your unhappiness had made his guts churn inside out; how his mood changed by proxy of your unhappiness. And he realised he had become vexed by your sudden lack of vibrancy.

Seeing you, his person, so upset; pulled a piece of his heart apart.

Weak at the knees to your pleading, your need to be comforted. Even if that wasn’t what you were verbally saying, he understood. Understood the feeling of breaking. But unlike what he had suffered, Beomgyu wasn’t prepared to let you go through this alone.

"I don't - I can't even d-deal with myself anymore - I don't - I'm so tired B-Beomgyu that I can't - I won't -"

Beomgyu shushed you quietly, rubbing his nose against your damp cheek. He stayed silent as he let you cry into the open air. Your voice tangled with the garble of pure emotion and jittering bones. Unable to do more than choke for breath and release bubbling rounds of tears.

Beomgyu had never scented anyone before. Avoided it out of shyness.

But the emotion that washed over him was like a happy full-body buzz at you slowly, slowly, starting to smell familiar again. He resisted the push inside of his gut, at least until you were able to truly advocate for your body.

The rain dampened the smell of your clothes, even weakened the smell of Johnny’s cologne and the aroma of the wet electric-fuelled storm. But his gut compelled him to go further. Pupils dilating at the marks blooming against your cold skin. Ears still firmly folded back against his hair as he pulled back to see your face.

You were so distressed.

“Just - shut up.” He whispered, delicately.

“You’re soaking wet, aggressively hormonal, and smell like - well, nothing, but also that guy Jon - Anyways, let me do the talking. You’re a mess, hmm? Don't want you saying anything you don't mean.”

Weirdly, you knew you were safe with Beomgyu taking control. Considering your entire three months of history together, you should have been doubting the trust you instantly felt around him.

But you knew he was more thoughtful than he let on - underneath all those protective insults and mean glares. Knew to boil the kettle after he had used it, leaving hot water for your coffee in the morning. Even leaving your leftovers, without a word. Love appears in the unspoken corners of a person.

“I’m sor-” 

Beomgyu pressed his lips against yours, effectively swallowing the remaining irritation between the two of you. Pulling away, his lips brushed your own as he spoke.

“I said - stop, baby. Just trust me. Trust this. I've got you… Just - I'm happy you're safe… Let me take care of you for once, 'cause I know nobody else fucking does. And I’m not about to let you go mope about and cry alone in the same apartment, hmm? We both know I’m not that mean.”

The tenderness in his voice was entirely new. And for once, he had shown his vulnerability. He showed how much he saw you for who you truly were. How he knew your mannerisms already. How you tried to hide the pain.

And the pet name. Baby?

If you weren’t crying before, you sure as hell were crying now.

You nodded weakly. Truly in no position to fight. Your defences settled and you slumped into his awaiting arms.

Beomgyu shushed you as he moved to carry you both into the shared bathroom. Back to where all of this frustration had started. You held onto his hips with your thighs, gripping his shoulders as he held you to his body. Melting into his temperate movements and the hushing of your tears.

You were so used to being shoved away from him or distancing yourself from his annoying anti-socialism, that being near him like this - was so nice. Strange. But like finding a new path through a forest, you were willing to take the risk for the sake of admiring the scenery. 

He just fit right.

You were starting to believe what you had heard about the healing of purring, as you wiped the tears from your face. Stiffening as he entered the bathroom, tipping you to slide off his hips.

Beomgyu dropped you onto the sink counter.

And his heart bounded in his chest at the sight in front of him. You had covered your face with your hands, wiping and sniffling with a bowed head. Still trying to hide from him.

“Oh g-gosh, I’ve made such a t-tit out of myself, Gyu… God, you m-must think I’m s-so pathetic...”

The boy smiled to himself, while your eyes were distracted. Ears swivelling over the side of his head solely to hear you better.

He chuckled with a small “Didn’t I tell you to shut up?” before lacing his fingers between the ones hiding your face. Pulling them back to kiss the edges of your lips. Once, twice. A few more times. Until your lips melded together; hands gripping his shirt as he licked into your mouth. At your soft moan, he pulled away with a bite to your lip, chuckling at you being so much more malleable than usual.

“Come on - clothes off princess.” He poked at your stomach, making you buck in surprise. Laughing gently, he settled your sides with patient hands. “You’ll get a nasty cold otherwise.”

Despite his nonchalant tone, Beomgyu wanted nothing more than to wrap you up in one of his jumpers and keep you there as long as possible. The thought of him claiming you entirely made his neck flush with a feeble purr, pressing a kiss against your cheek. And the thought of how he would have acted if the other hybrid boys had in fact joined the hunt - flooded him with guilt.

What he said was true. You probably would get a cold if you stayed in them any longer. But he didn’t press you. 

His voice stayed hushed as the pads of his fingers wiped the dark liquid from under your eyes, flicking them against his joggers.

“Shh, baby. You’re okay. Let it all out.” 

And when you thought you had stopped crying; his words pushed you to sob against the back of your hand.

As you curled over, he hushed you further.

"You're okay," Pulling your fortified cross-arm-defence apart to let him inside your bubble.

He placed your arms around his neck as he kissed your cheeks, urging you to let him into your pain. With clenched fists you let him tug you closer, pressing his lean and tall chest against you, purring deeply. A deep wash of comfort poured over your scalp until your muscles thawed.

"I've got you…" He rubbed his cheek against yours before kissing your nose. As you tensed away from him, his ears folded and his expression changed.

For just a second, a flash of annoyance had washed over him - a sound of irritation emitted before his tongue licked a quick stripe up the side of your neck. Sucking suddenly and harshly at your neck until you cried out. The distraction ended with another nip of his canines. Scattering kisses against the new aching bruise set in the middle of your pulse until you softened in his arms.

Satisfied, he trailed butterfly kisses up to your lips.

“You smell better when you’re happy.” He grumbled against your lips. Purring through them, almost. “Like warm honey. Turns sour when you're upset. Disgusting and bitter. Not a fan. Not in the slightest.”

Shocked, you laughed. “H-huh? W-what do you m-mean?” Wiping the tears from your eyes to clear the blur.

Beomgyu rolled his eyes, ears flattening to throw his head back dramatically and whine. When he rounded back with a sarcastic love-dipped smile, you laughed, distracted by how beautiful he was. And for a moment, just a single small inhale, you started to smell like yourself again.

“There it is.” He smiled. “Much better.” So quiet you almost couldn’t hear it. 

Before you could react, Beomgyu pulled away from you entirely. Dragging the questions away with him. He moved in such a feline manner; swiftly, and with such grace. Stretching his body upright between your knees on the counter. 

Peering over you, he looked at your clothes expectantly.

The change in pace made you stiff, mumbling a small sound of confusion.

“W-why are you staring at me like that?” 

Beomgyu rolled his eyes before coaxing just one more french kiss from you, drawing away to lick his gums.

Purring, he flicked his gaze down to your top.

“Come on. Clothes, now. Seriously. You’re still shivering.”

“Yes, yes, okay.” You huffed, shuffling forward.

His hands lingered at your side as you slipped off the counter. Silently ready to catch you if you fell.

Standing in front of him, you considered where the hell to even start undressing.

Moving away from his body heat had pushed the shivers to become more aggressive, and as you reached for the buttons of your fitted trousers, you felt your fingers tremble uselessly.

You puffed a small sigh, wiping at your face.

“Do you need help, babe?” Beomgyu questioned after watching you struggle for a good minute.

You paused. Peering up at him. You shrugged, and nodded. Shrugged your shoulders again. Awkward and unsure.

Beomgyu kissed his teeth before going to kneel, choosing for you instead.

He swatted your hands away to unclasp your fabric trousers, tugging the tightly squelching material from your thighs until he could free your legs completely. A slight embarrassment washed through you, but with the way he averted his eyes, you knew you were safe. Using the sink edge as a brace as you looked away bashfully.

Throwing them into a corner, he stood back up, watching as you swiped the damp hair from your face.

“You okay pretty? We can stop, if it’s too much? Still your housemate, you know…” He checked in, breath bated at your possible rejection. He would die if you pushed him away right now, but you had every right to do so. You had stopped crying, finally. And seemed more mentally present than in the hall.

You nodded then shook your head. Falling forward into his chest to wrap your arms around his torso. 

"Thank you." You sniffled into the fabric of his hoodie, face smushed entirely.

Beomgyu stood, a little shocked, before tugging his arms free, and holding you against his body with a shocked laugh. Standing with you - as close as you could possibly be. Scrunching up the material just to grip you tighter. He paused his breath, aching at your sniffles against his chest. Ears tipping to hear you on his left side.

"You're welcome, Y/N -" He mumbled against your hair, relaxing into the hug, voice wavering and tears brimming in his eyes. Smoothing hair from your cheek to rest his face against your own.

“I’m sorry for shouting at you - period - but you scared me, alright? You scare me. The way you make me feel, it’s so strange and, I - I think, I love you, Y/N. Just - please, don’t ever do that shit ever again.” 

Beomgyu’s chest bounced against you as he sniffled away a small, very strong stimulus of a cry; pulling you tighter to his body.

You had never seen him emote like this. Never seen him portray anything stronger than annoyance or irritation.

“I- I thought you had run off, that you were in some serious trouble - that I’d have to go back to the shelter - I don’t know… I thought anything, everything had gone wrong. Next time - I don’t know, hopefully, there never is a next time but - please promise you’ll wait for me? I would have come eventually… if-if I knew you were in that much trouble…”

He coughed slightly, wiping his eyes. Flicking his long hair out of his face. You couldn’t stop the tears that spilled from your cheeks. The way he clung to you - gently and without any evil intent - made you feel so loved and cared for. 

Such a strange thing to suddenly be revealed, from a man that you had been convinced, was placed in your life to make your day-to-day inherently challenging.

You could see now that the lack of communication was the real fiend. 

“And for god’s sake - don’t go calling other men for help anymore! Friend or not - please, God, I hate it when you stink of other people - especially when you come home from a shit day, stinking of your dog friend from the cafe… Ugh, it makes me feel like I'm not good enough. Like - like you don’t feel safe around me?”

You squeezed him tighter at that. 

His lack of confidence and security had been eating away at him. And the guilt had evidently played a part in his emotions, too.

You knew in your heart of hearts that despite being an all-around-dick, he truly would have picked you up had you expressed what had truly happened.

Beomgyu’s tears welled up little by little until he was fully crying. His ears folded back against his hair until they almost disappeared. Neck bent and hand busy wiping any remnants of tears away.

Looking up at his pained expression, you smiled softly. You reached to wipe the hairs from his eyes. Equally, a line of dampness materialised over the height of your cheek. He truly was such a sweetheart, underneath such a brash exterior.

“I’m sorry, I just - I’m here for you, I always will be. Just because I’m a dick sometimes, doesn’t mean I'm always a horrible person. It hurts me to see you in so much pain. Just - please - stop crying! It’s making me cry!!”

As Beomgyu pulled back a hand to swipe at his own face, he sniffled through a forced laugh. Smiling, you reached to brace his shoulders, tipping his chin to leave a kiss on the corner of his lips. His ears pulled forward into a hopeful, puppy-dog expression. It was… cute.

“I never knew you could be so nice, Gyu. You should try it more often.” 

The tall feline released an airy laugh, lifting you back onto the sink with welcome strength. 

“Yeah, whatever.” He scoffed as he dipped his face down to chase your lips; gripping at the soft flesh of your hips to pull you closer to his body.

Your hands rested at his neck, gently holding his face. Beomgyu pressed at your pursed lips with his own, until a small unfamiliar sound like a feline whine distracted you enough for Beomgyu to huff, pinching your chin up to allow his tongue to lick up in one swift movement against your palette.

It made your head immediately spin, your mood easily spiralling as you moaned softly. Beomgyu's hands squeezed at your behind as he fought for dominance; eventually pulling your face away with his hands, cutting short the passion to see your puffed lips and slackened jaw, keening softly at his teasing.

To your absolute shock-horror and amusement, a string of saliva cut between the air, connecting your mouths in such a filthy way that Beomgyu immediately groaned at the sight. 

“Fuck, you’re so cute like that, baby.” He whispered breathlessly; only to break the string of spit with another forceful approach. Pressing against your body to hold you in place as a hand snaked to hold your neck; at will to the feline who probed at your gums and pulled such wanton sighs from your body.

The tongues caught between each other's teeth reflected how the two of you felt so strongly about each other. How much you had been hiding from each other. How you yearned to be near him, even if he teased you endlessly. How he loved to be near you, even if you made him beet-red from anger. Three months of pent-up emotion released into each other through flesh and energy. The fear and love of the two of you trapped on either side of a literal storm, coming to a singular point.

Beomgyu settled, soothing his palms over your thighs. Obviously, his mind had wandered; changing pace once more. He pulled away from your face as your cold skin drew his attention away from your lips. Your fingers combed through the hair at his neck, welcoming the kiss to your jaw. Soft to the touch. Streaks of white flicked over your hand as you played with it. Pulling it against your knuckles to hear his gentle sigh.

Then, something new flicked in the corner of your vision. Using the moment to test your curiosity, you reached for the tall triangle felt black ear peeking from the top of his head. It jerked harshly, sensitive to your touch as your cold fingers brushed against the skin, sending a shiver down Beomgyu’s body. Namely, straight down his spine and into his crotch.

"Ah- stop, Y/N I’m sensitive - nngh, fuck…"

He grit his teeth to resist emitting a ridiculously loud purr as you leaned towards his scalp for a proper angle. Taking advantage of his body tensing up in surprise; you reached for his ear again before he could pull away completely, ignoring his whine of protest.

You tested your lightbulb idea - pinching the inside and the outside of his ear between your thumb and forefingers, to rub the pads of your fingers together with a slight pull away from the skull, very close to the base of the ear. If it was heavenly for pet cats, you expected it to be the same for humans.

It turned out to be almost orgasmic.

Beomgyu moaned softly, eyes fluttering until his forehead flopped forward onto your shoulder. You laughed softly in disbelief, applying more pressure now you knew you were safe.

His voice was so pretty. His lips parted as his head fuzzed over, jaw slack. Consumed completely by the feeling of electricity dancing all over his scalp and the top of his spine. And that deep, rumbling purr he had been trying to hold in so desperately; vibrated loudly against your collarbone. Almost unconsciously, Beomgyu nuzzled against the juncture of your neck. His hands rested next to your thighs, as you brushed his hair with the other hand. Laughing at the second shiver bolting down his spine, purely from adding a scratching element.

He hadn't  - nobody had touched his ears like that in years. He had almost forgotten how sensitive they were.

You used your spare hand to rub his neck, then shoulder. Sliding down his jumper to follow his arms, eventually slipping into the knuckles at your sides. His fingers relaxed before gripping your palms together. Weirdly, it was even more intimate than making out, and your hearts hummed in glee.

The purring vibrating across your shoulders had almost distracted you from the bulge in Beomgyu’s sweatpants pressing directly against the counter.

The flush to his cheeks and neck was giving his true emotions away. The way his left hand kneaded at the skin on your thighs, ass, and hips. The wholesomeness of the purr had almost distracted from all of this. And you had never thought about the prospect of such a reaction in a sexual setting - but if his lips and chest were vibrating this much from such a gentle touch; you could only imagine the implications of an even stronger vibration in other positions.

But the slower your circular motions, and the more you tugged against the tight muscles of his scalp; the deeper he seemed to slip into this mind-numbing state. You were almost 90% sure he would cream his pants before you could do much about anything. The thought made you smile, fondly. His demeanour, so malleable in this submissive state. And you were half tempted to push the dynamic - but you were too tired, at least for now.

Finally relenting your ear-mania, you ruffled his hair back into place with a small smile. Swiping at the last sniffles from your nose, before meeting his eyes as he pulled away.

“Sorry - I just, always wanted to do that. And you always hide them, so…” You spoke shyly, unsure what to do with yourself now that the ball was back in his court.

But - something was different. The way Beomgyu looked back up at you. His aura had changed. It had switched into something totally new and unfamiliar. His pupils pinched quickly, before expanding in a mesmerizing display of affection.

You searched his face for more clues as his palm pressed solidly over your thigh, over your underwear at your hips and up to the edge of your stomach until his palm rested against your ribs.

His hands from under the fabric tugged up; encouraging you to pull the thick blouse over your head. With patient hands the item eventually broke free from your body, cringing as the fabric slopped onto the sink before Beomgyu tossed it behind him and into the pile at the door. Once again, his ears pulled back in momentary softness as he met your eyes, hands restless to find purchase on your skin.

Being naked in front of him like this; strangely, you were okay with it. And, to add to your newfound joy; he was still purring. And smiling. Maybe this was all a dream, and you had fallen asleep at your work desk? But no, the twitch in his smile brought you back into this reality.

“Your eyes are different, Gyu?” You had asked, bemused at his body's reaction. Voice scratchy and hoarse from the crying.

Reacting to your tone, naivety, and curiosity in place of judgement, even his new pet name - it all made his ears fold back until his eyes creased into an oddly soft smile. A natural reaction to your voice that he was sick and tired of hiding.

With a tongue pressed to his canines, he giggled. Not quite the reaction you had expected, but refreshing nonetheless.

Beomgyu pulled you closer by the hips via his grip on your love handles; until your noses met and your hip bone tilted forward, ultimately pressing your core up against his very solid erection. The action made you moan airily, hips fidgeting against such a sudden change of pace, hands bracing at his shoulders. Your cheeks heated up, your body twitching in anticipation. 

You had kissed, but now this was something different.

Beomgyu’s smile was Cheshire-like - and his pupils were blown out wide as he nuzzled your face aside to kiss and nip at your jawline. It was funny; his feline tendencies showed in the most random ways. His energy remained unpredictable as he began running his nose against the juncture of your jaw, ear, and neck. Until he seemed to settle at the bruise blooming against your pulse.

Purring softly, Beomgyu’s hold on you softened. Supporting your spine now instead of securely holding it. His energy was entirely focused on leaving open-mouthed kisses on top of your pulse; ears flickering with how hard your heart beat the blood to the surface. Beomgyu sucked at the same spot until your knees drew together at his hips, scraping his blunt nails down your legs to soothe you. Encouraging your breathy moans with his own purrs dipping lower in vibrato, confirming every twitch and movement to gain friction against your core.

Beomgyu pulled away suddenly with a lewd pop, rubbing his nose against your own as you came eye-to-eye with a cat who looked like he had snorted a week's worth of catnip. Before you could respond, he bit playfully at your lip, dragging it with him as he pulled away to mumble into your hairline and ear.

“I can smell how needy you are, baby. It's pretty, and sweet, just like you. My eyes are different ‘cause they dilate when I want to fuck something. And I can tell you want to fuck me, too. Can tell you really need it,  baby. Can tell how much your body is aching for those cramps to go away, hmm? How wet you are already? You've needed a good fuck ever since I got here angel, God you smell so much like warm honey when you're turned on, it's insane… intoxicating, even. So much prettier when you smile.” 

Letting you process what he had so brazenly pointed out, he chuckled at your flushed and abashed expression. The change in pace he kept setting was giving you whiplash - dominant, straight into playful, then back into a domineering pace.

And it was so unlike him to speak like that - in such a filthy way. But it wasn’t unwelcome. 

Your eyes told him all that he needed to know; your eyebrows and nose pulled into an expression of confusion while you released a gentle sound of pleasure at the thin skin pulled delicately between his teeth. Pulling back, he laughed at you playfully.

“What? They never told you about a hybrid’s sense of smell amongst all that shitty fuckin’ paperwork?”

Pulling down your brows, you shook your head.

“No?” You mumbled, questioning yourself now too.

Beomgyu hummed in amusement while tilting his head to the side incredulously. Now, this was curious. His nose and ear twitched as he considered how naive you truly were in this situation. 

“They told you nothing about our sense, at all? Not even heightened hearing?” He questioned in disbelief. And his tone once again slid from mockery, into kindness.

You shook your head again.

The feline thought about it for a moment, gaze floating inwardly before centring back on your face. He hummed, kissing the edge of your lips only to pull away as you chased him.

“Mmmm, that explains a lot, actually. The past three months have been absolute torture.”

Beomgyu pressed his forefinger against your lips as you attempted to spurt some very sudden thoughtless questions (probably); shaking his head with a mocking smile. It wasn’t a dominance you were used to. Stern, yet somehow playful in the way he moved with you. 

Testing the waters - you let your jaw fall enough for your lips to fall open. Beomgyu’s short bout of shock melted into pride; pleased, as he pressed the digit down against your tongue.

It was such an unfamiliar feeling, so unlike anything you had ever done with other people. But despite his teasing and his insufferable attitude, something told you that you could trust him. Something jittering in your heart like a bird in a cage. A purr rippled across his chest as you sucked, so obviously satisfied. Ears dropping forward, canines appearing in his adoring smile.

“We can smell around three times the strength and distance that humans can.” He started, rubbing his thumb against your chin as you moved your tongue around the digits, sitting patiently on your hands. It was awfully demeaning - but with the way hearts formed in his eyes, you had to painfully admit to yourself how much you loved it.

“Our hearing is better, too. Some breeds have heightened physical abilities… Not that that really matters. Shit, Y/N, every time you pleased yourself after a long shift - it was absolute fuckin’ torture, babe. I thought you were doing it as - as part of our little game, but - how could you have known? You had no idea what you were doing to me - Had no idea how beautiful you sounded.”

Beomgyu pulled his hand away to exchange a delicate kiss, purring against your lips as he reached around to gently unhook your damp bra. Sliding it off to throw it into the wash bin without moving his gaze. Wow, that was weirdly attractive.

“I’m sorry, I thought you knew. I took it as part of the power-play. I should have said something, maybe?”

You quickly noted the change in expression; he almost seemed deflated. His ears folded to the side as he withdrew into shyness. 

“No - no - it’s fine it - it doesn’t change anything, really. If anything I - you’re lucky, I’m kind of really into voyeurism.”

Beomgyu’s attention snapped up, tall triangles standing to attention as his poker face remained unreadable. “What? Seriously?”

You forced yourself to explain before you burned up in embarrassment, or before this whole thing got awkward. If you can’t beat ‘em - tell them your most intense fetishes? That always works, right?

“Like - I’ve never thought about actually doing it before but - but the fact you could hear me do stuff and potentially even - smell? all of that - it’s kinda hot Gyu, as weird as that is to admit. And if it was helping you get off as well… I sort of, don’t mind? I promise - I’m not offended. Promise.”

Beomgyu’s eyes checked your expression - attempting to find any hint of foul play - before exchanging a nod. Followed by a slight pause for the two of you to smile in agreement - two perverted consenting adults to the other - before his eyes and hands flitted towards your chest. Focus, obviously switched now that was out of the way.

His intermittent bouts of purring hiked up a good pitch, ears folding sideways, a sign of obvious joy. He peered back up at your shy squirming expression, moving to press easing kisses against your lips.

Releasing a breath you hadn’t realised you were holding, your hands found purchase on his forearms, allowing him to marginally move away.

“You really are so pretty baby, but you’re still so cold ~” He mumbled through a purr, fixated on how cold your skin was under his seemingly burning hot palms. As his hands soothed over your ribs and a thumb brushed the underside of your breast, his brows pulled into a frown. He seemed hesitant. And so you reached to pull his face closer for a kiss. You met his lips at an angle and broke apart for air after another shared smile.

A sigh slipped through your lips as he moved to kiss and nip against the skin at your jugular, softness melting into passion once again - his body moving down until his lips suckled around your nipple, leaving kisses all over your chest - but not touching you where you truly wanted him. You whined softly, gaining his attention. Beomgyu’s ears flicked up, followed by his face.

"Gyu - please… Quit teasing…"

He peeked back up at you with a guilty, playful look. 

“Sorry. You’re just beautiful, Y/N.” He giggled.

Such an - honest compliment, from him. You smiled, thanking him quietly.

His hands finally found their place as he gently squeezed your breasts in either palm. It was an amazing feeling - but far too intense. A small shocked yowl sounded from the back of Beomgyu’s throat as you hissed at the soreness of your body, gripping his wrist to stop before releasing a breath and relaxing again. His ears had immediately jerked up and forward at your discomfort; eyes wide as he watched you anxiously, stiff as a board.

“Ouch, Gyu - gently, please… period boobs. No harm done, just - easy tiger...” 

He nodded sheepishly in understanding, eyes, and ears softening, kissing at your cheek in apology before dipping to kiss your collarbone, hands working gently to ease the ache in your breasts. He even ignored the hated nickname - tempering his emotions for you.

But as much as he knew he could move on, he found himself drawn back again and again to the juncture of your neck. At this point he was frustrating himself; sucking at the broken skin until your moans turned into whines and your hips moved mindlessly,  chasing the friction. He needed to do something about it before he truly did cum from fantasy alone. 

He pulled away from yet another mind-melding hickey that was being placed at the same sensitive spot he had been abusing this whole interaction, a moan spilling from your lips as the pleasure was suddenly pulled away. His words were breathy, restless, eyes pleading.

“Bringing all the blood to the surface in just the right spot - fuck, baby, it brings your scent out so strongly. It’s so addictive. God, you smell so good - please, please let me mark you? Fuck, please - I’ll do anything - it might hurt but God I need to do it before I go insane -”

“Yes, fine! Jeez you’re starting to freak me out Gyu - take a breath!”  Laughing softly at his desperateness to get your approval, you nodded with a bashful expression.  “What do you even mean? Not like that Twilight shit?”

Beomgyu was losing his mind, so much so that the humour flew over his head.

“Fuck, I think I might cry -” His choked voice matched with his hurried kiss, leaving you breathless as he tugged you closer to his crotch on the edge of the sink.

“or come - fuck, it means - marking means nobody else can touch you, you’re mine only to play with. Think about it, if you smell this good on any given day I’m surprised nobody has tried to propose already -” 

As he moved to dive into your jugular you scoffed, pushing his forehead back as you made a face.

“Woah! Easy there cowboy! Care to explain a little more about claiming my soul before you take it please?!”

Beomgyu groaned deeply, whining like a child as his ears folded back.

“Ugh, fine!” He cried at your attempt to push him away, but not before gripping your chin to kiss you into a moaning mess. Your hips tilting to gain some kind of friction against the boner pressing up against your core. It made him groan airily as he pulled away, purring deeply once more.

“It means,” He started sarcastically, before moving to lick at the shell of your ear, a moan slipping from your throat in embarrassingly fast record time and a shiver shaking your body.

“No other hybrid fucker can put their hands on you. It means you’re protected if you’re into that. It means that I love you - fuck -” He groaned gently, biting at your bruised jugular with sharp teeth. You flinched, whining until he pulled away.

“Means only I can touch you, baby. Come on, I can tell you want it, look at you ~ you’re so sensitive ~” He purred against your ear as his thumb rolled over your nipples, biting at your ear lobe. You had been completely called out. Panties sticking to your core as your face heated; Beomgyu’s the finger that tapping against the edge of your underwear. Caught, red-handed.

“O-okay…” You offered, a little unsure. “Just be gentle with - whatever it is…”

He smiled against your neck, a new and somehow even deeper purr making a short rumble across your shoulder. 

He left a kiss at your cheek in thanks before his hands gripped the back of your hips, pressing your hips into his at such a tilt that he was holding you from falling. You started to grind against his member pressing against your clit from behind his joggers, reaching for a kiss before he sucked harshly at your neck.

The kisses were gentle; until they weren't. Beomgyu’s barely dulled canines pressed into your pulse until your body stiffened and you tried to pull away. Beomgyu pushed a purr, maintaining the pressure to not break the skin but not leave without some obvious remnant of a bruise. 

His patient hands began guiding your hips, which made you moan softly, ignoring the pain to scrape your nails up against the back of his ears. He responded in kind, finally releasing your skin to kiss at the juncture of your neck and jaw. 

The pain settled after a few harsh seconds; the friction of your bodies proved to distract you beautifully. 

Pulling away with a deep moan mixed with a rumble, Beomgyu’s eyes blew open again, ears flopped back into a doting expression, his thumb coming to wipe at the skin. Followed by his hands in a mesmerized state, before leaning to rub his cheek against yours in a soft embrace.

“You sound like an old radiator, Gyu.” You giggled, actually enjoying this side of him.

He smiled. “That’s all you, baby. Just happy you’re okay.” 

He had bit down hard enough to leave a mark, but not enough to break the skin. The two of you took a moment to hold each other.

“So - what now?” You offered quietly, loving his scoff at your sudden bravery.

“Well, Yeonjun will stop fucking bothering you, for one. That guy sticks around you like a fly and now finally he might get the hint. Soobin, too. Those guys are dogs, seriously -”

“But Soobin’s a bunny?” You laughed.

“Yeah, well,” Beomgyu laughed back, “they’re even worse sometimes. Rabbits have an almost endless libido - honestly, I pray every day for his partner.”

“Someone sounds jealous. Scared you’ve got competition? Maybe Yeonjun has more game?”

Beomgyu released a low yowl sound, lip twitching into an annoyed expression and tutting as his ears folded against his scalp. You obviously touched a nerve, a solid slap sounding against your thigh. Laughing with a scoff of surprise, you soothed a hand down his chest, kissing him into security. 

“Stop it, you sensitive feline. They don’t even mean anything to me. Where are they now, hmm?” He hummed gently before rolling his eyes, purring softly at your nails scratching at the base of his ear until he melted, moving your hand away to peck your lips.

“Not between your legs, I know that much. Think they'd kill to be here though.” Beomgyu huffed moodily, sucking his gums.

Laughing you nodded, pointing to the hand securely attached to your boob.

“Yeah, and they're not the ones touching me up, either! Seriously, as if I'd even let that sly fox within a foot of any of this…" Beomgyu smiled proudly, expression softening until you pulled him into a gentle embrace, butterfly kissing his lips until he truly melted.

Your foreheads rested together for a moment. Just breathing, settling your minds. 

All until Beomgyu released a sharp yawn against your hair. Stretching up and away from you suddenly as he moved to turn on the shower. Testing the water with his hand for a while before nodding his head towards the lush rainfall. You thanked yourself for that renovation. Watching him in curiosity. Still enamoured by the parts of his personality that kept appearing.

You slipped off the sink, hands covering your chest in modesty. Beomgyu smiled familiarly, ears folding as his eyes crescented. You stepped forward to pinch his oversized shirt. Tugging the fabric.

He laughed softly, confirming your intentions before reaching to tug it off, throwing it to the corner. Timid, his demeanour curved for a second before you reached to pull him closer for a kiss. He accepted, humming against your lips.

Curious, you spread your hands against his skin. Much to your amusement - his stomach was firm, yet soft.

Unsurprisingly, your hands dipped to his hips next. 

Beomgyu was definitely in shape - abs mellowed by his soft honey-coloured skin. But it really showed at his waist. Beomgyu laughed at your eagerness as you smiled back up at him. Willing yourself to calm your heart down as you decided to commit to what was happening.

Your cold hands against Beomgyu made him shiver, moan and purr all in a disjointed rhythm as you dipped under the waistband of his joggers.

He laughed softly, before your hands fully found their way around his shaft, pressing gently just to hear his pretty moan. With flushed cheeks, his jaw slacked. Eyes pulling over a haze as boys do when their body is full of lust.

The steam in the bathroom was quickly rising against the strength of the wall fan, your shivers tempered by the warmth. Your lover's body warmed your hands, overheating for your sake. What a waste of water.

Beomgyu sighed as you worked your hands up and down his cock, reaching to kiss his neck as your thumb swiped the precum down the vein on the underside. Pulling with a slight twist as your tacky foreheads met in the dim bathroom light - not even able to see him fully yet, but thrilled by the weight and length in your hands.

He leaned into your touch until his head became fuzzy, and then he needed to move on. Wanting to get you warm before you did anything together. Selfish, to be selfless.

The kisses on your skin were so kind. Loving. Gentle. As his fingers danced against your hips, before gently cupping you over your underwear. You moaned directly against his ear as he rubbed softly against the fabric and around your clit in a circular motion, the flicking of his ears and a deep purr letting you know how happy he was to hear you.

Finally, as you pressed your thighs together, Beomgyu hooked his fingers into the fabric, slipping them down to your feet. He groaned openly, enveloping you into a kiss before pulling away with your lip between his canines. He had smelt the aftermath or build-up of your hormones before - but being the reason behind them made his hands shake in anticipation.

“Your sweats -” You mumbled against his lips, loving the way he smiled back at you. Nodding in glee.

He moved away to fully undress, kicking the fabric away before shyly looking back at you.

You didn’t know where to look.

At his beautiful body as a whole. Pretty cock. Or gorgeous shaggy pitch-black tail.

He watched you with affection as you scanned him, taking a second to return the gesture before your eyes met again. He could tell you had questions, smiling as he brushed the hair off your face.

“Maine coon mix. I prefer to keep it short. Otherwise, it’s big, fluffy and annoying as hell. Especially when people call me cute, because of it.” 

Beomgyu’s ears twitched forward at your giggles. An ease washed over him. You were so much happier than when you had come in. And the tears had finally stopped.

“You’re pretty Gyu. Really handsome. Y-you should show it off more often!”

A loud purr sounded as his ears folded, and he nodded shyly. It was so - expressive. His tail. You couldn't stop staring at it. The way it twitched at your voice, curling then unfurling around his ankles. 

Beomgyu laughed. Laughed harder than he had all night. But it was all a show; hiding the heat flushing his neck by tugging you into the shower after him.

Holding your wrists as he walked you backwards into the water stream, kissing you under the hot water. 

It was thrilling. The feeling of being so surrounded. He moved back to shake his hair, laughing as you splashed him back in the face in retaliation. Only for you to grip his scalp to meet his mouth for a kiss, Beomgyu releasing a loud whine before a beastly purr. 

Hair pulling. You bookmarked that for a later date.

Somehow - despite your age and the situation - you ended up fighting. In the shower. What started as innocent water flicks at the other when their back was turned; quickly ended with you, wrists gripped at your abdomen as Beomgyu’s arms flexed to keep you still.

"Stop fucking flicking me with water! I am trying to help you warm up! Not drown in the shower!" He cried, taking the opportunity to bite at your shoulder.

You both laughed until you no longer could, humming as you looked up behind you. Beomgyu rolled his eyes, as a light purr settled against your back.

Dipping his head to meet your lips, he covered your face from the water. Giggling through his kisses at his long hair creating a slight cove in the stream. Something out of an artsy-emo edit, probably.

You didn’t care.

In your heart of hearts, you prayed it wasn’t a one-time thing. Part of you could tell - his eyes were following your every movement with a blush to his cheeks - that every second was full of love. 

And for once, with a partner, you weren’t nervous.

It’s not that he was totally experienced, but he was prepared to just wait, and to hold you, and to be held. He wasn’t in it just for the outcome. And you never knew sex could be fun; that you’d be laughing as he gripped at your chest, heart warmed through till your skin was on fire.

Beomgyu gently prodded you until your face was out of the shower stream, shoulders pressed against cool tiles. He bit at your lip, pulling it with him as you pushed the hair out of his face affectionately, trailing open mouth kisses down against your collarbone.

The boy was pretty tall. Having to shake out his hair when going to kneel in the restricted space, tail laying over his calves. He kissed down your sternum until he met your stomach, lips paying attention to your hips and hands holding the back of your thighs.

But his ears twitched from the water, pulling away in annoyance. 

Reaching over to the water, you turned it down halfway, Beomgyu’s ears folding as he shyly smiled.

“Thanks, pretty girl.” He mumbled against your thigh. “It’ll be good, I promise.”

You weren’t exactly sure what he was referring to, but as he hooked your thigh up and over his shoulder, your heartbeat almost leapt out of your mouth and you had no thoughts to spare.

He placed a pretty kiss to your core, before moving to place deep hickeys to your thighs, winking at you with a grin as his arm wrapped around your other leg. It held you in place as his thumb came from underneath, tapping at your clit to see you jump and squeal. 

“Aah!! Gyu! I’m sensitive, don’t be a tease!” Your body flushed as his shoulders shook with his airy laughter. Beomgyu apologised, nipping at your thigh before setting.

He turned his attention to eating you out with more intent than you had ever seen from him.

He started with kisses; testing the waters as he held you still. It was heavenly. Warm lips sucking and licking in a steady pattern, curling the coil in your stomach. Your hands found purchase at his shoulders, watching the water cascade down his beautiful back as your abdomen filled with bumbling warmth.

“Ngh - Gyu -” You whined softly, enveloped by his attentiveness.

He chose not to communicate; instead watching you with curious eyes as he circled your entrance with his thumb, before dipping a finger into your core. Moaning softly, your nails gripped at his skin. After a few pumps, he entered another finger, shallower but curling towards him.

He pulled away for a breath. “You’re so pretty, baby. Try and relax for me. You deserve it. I love you.”

He licked a long strip against your folds as he moved his fingers at a steady pace, your mind and body fuzzed over almost instantly. He had proclaimed his feelings so confidently, and it sent you for a spin.

You hadn’t even realised you had closed your eyes, but they jumped back open as he hummed against you, pulling away with a pop.

“You should cum first baby. Go on, I can tell you’re close.” His mumbled encouragements were so soft; fingers curling against him as you cried out. Holding on, on, on, on, until you crumbled.

As he pulled away, Beomgyu placed a kiss at the soft of your belly, holding your hips steady before kissing your forehead. Dazed, you melted into his touch.

Loving him just felt right.

Falling against his hold as he spun you away from the stream of water. The shower curtains rustled before his chest pressed against your back. He held you for a moment. Fingers wandering to your chest, nipples rolled against his palm.

The purr was back, against your shoulder blades. Matching how your mind felt as you heard lewd sounds behind you. 

“You’re so pretty Gyu…” You mumbled, head resting against the tiles. 

You didn’t have to see him to know it. You’d seen him plenty.

Beomgyu kissed your shoulder in response, thankful he was able to hide the smile breaching his hazed features. 

Working himself until a point didn’t take very long; having such a beautiful muse made the creation of a boner, pretty damn easy.

“You sure about this, Y/N?” 

Beomgyu’s mellowed question pulled you to peer behind, over your shoulder. He seemed worried. That this wasn’t the right decision. That he was showing his vulnerabilities far too soon. His brows were furrowed, inside of his mind.

Leaning back, you left a kiss against his neck.

“I’m sure, Gyu. I want this. Promise.”

That seemed to pull him out of his self-doubt. A tender expression breached his handsome features. Leaning in to kiss you deeply as he held your stomach at a curve, chest pressed against the tiles. 

With your legs straight and standing up; Beomgyu hit deep. As he entered you sighed deeply, Beomgyu moaning beautifully. When he bottomed out, your thighs shook in anticipation. He ran his nose at your skin, purring. Taking a moment just to savour this feeling of connection.

After a moment, your shuffles and moans told him when it was good to move. Hands reaching for yours, intertwining between your shoulders and the tiles. 

It really didn’t take very long for the whole thing to hit peak. But then; heaven has never had a time limit.

Beomgyu found no need for empty dirty-talk like your past lovers. Instead; the steam, the sounds of pure instinctual love, the shared words of care and devotion, the running water, his soft groans and even your own; it was the best music either of you had ever heard. 

Beomgyu continued his steady thrusts, before a slight stutter of his hips threw his rhythm off. Hips hitting hard, deep and heavy until you cried out; Beomgyu cumming with breathless pants. He tried not to collapse from the best orgasm he had maybe ever had - steadying himself before checking on you.

His purr’s were deep against your back, his arms falling to dip his forehead into the crook of your neck and hold you. He pulled his mind out of the gutter, biting at your ear and jaw as he drew you back, via his hold across your stomach. Staying inside of you, he held your wrists up as he met your lips - a kiss full of tongue and teeth, pure filth - before his other hand flicked a quick pace at your clit. The pads of his fingers skilled as your body shivered.

“Quickly baby, com’ on, I know you can do it. Look at you, fucked out and all trembly, just for me. Come on, you can do it. Quickly baby.”

Without any control, still full and clenching around him - sensitive moans sounding from Beomgyu pushing his sensitivity - it didn’t take very long for you to submit to his pleasant pleading, pushing you to come just one more time.

Just for him.

The two of you did, eventually clean up. 

Holding each other for a while before he left you to shower per request; meeting you with a large towel and radiant kisses to wrap you up as soon as you stepped out of the tub.

Things were - going to be okay.

Different than before. But good. You didn’t feel so alone in this big blue storm, anymore.

Of course, some things would never change. Bullying Beomgyu into doing house chores was just another thing left on your list. And your inability to cook left you both bickering over take-out options. 

Beomgyu's abs flinched against your cold hands. Body settling again to let you slide your hand under his shirt, pulling the cotton fabric up against your forearm - before pulling back entirely. Legs perched either side of his hips, as he lay lazily lengthways on the sofa.

Beomgyu's ears flicked, a small purr of contentment floating out of his lips.

You were avoiding meeting his face, and so much quieter than normal. He wasn't so sure how to handle you. This new intimacy. He was afraid he would somehow fuck it all up. But he could only try his best.

"What is it, Y/N?"

You bit your cheek. Turning your head to avert your eyes as you moved to tug your shirt off, underwear loose but maintaining your modesty as you were otherwise bared.

"I'm cold..." You mumbled, covering yourself with your arms before resting down between his chest and chin. Arms folded between your bodies.

"You're so clingy." Beomgyu laughed. Softly, and for once without menace.

He tried his best to push out a large purr, breathing deeply as your erratic heartbeat began to thump more kindly against his skin. He liked this feeling. Skin against his. When your pulse slowed after comfort.

His knuckles soothed down your back as he reached for the throw on the back of the sofa; tucking you between his legs and enveloping you in affection. Tail loosely wrapping around your ankle and resting there.

"You can cry - if you need to, you know. You deserve that. I know you’re still upset, I can smell it hanging over you like a sour rain cloud. And - I know you don’t know how to explain what is going on in your mind. And we both know I’m not very good at talking. So we’re at a stalemate. But - I’ll stay. I promise. I’ll just stay with you until whatever it is, hurts a little less. Okay?"

His offer twinged like a hot coil in your gut. Your body going stiff; before a slight shudder and a whimper emanated from the small hole in the blanket. You were crying. Pressing his tongue against his palette, he pushed himself to purr even deeper.

Getting a sore throat was nothing when it came to comforting his person.

He could deal with a sore throat. But he didn’t think he could deal with you being upset for too long, as selfish as that was.

“I’ve got you.” He spoke into the open air. Your sniffles masked by insistent pattering thundering rain. Tight arms compressing you both into healing. Your souls content, if not in a reasonable amount of pain. “I know you’ve got me too.”

“For the record,” You snuffed into his clothes, pulling away to cough against your hand. "You’re the idiot, idiot." You wiped at your face; nose sore from earlier and a cold slowly approaching through the sleepy haze.

His fingers brushed against the bumps against your neck. He almost felt bad for leaving them there, fangs indented into your jugular. But he couldn’t deny the fuzzy pride that he filled with when you shyly caught his hand, holding it there. 

He smiled sadly. “That will go in a few days, you know.”

You smiled, poking his chest with a giggle.

“We can always make another one, Gyu?”

Beomgyu blinked before his ears peeled back and his smile turned gummy, shrugging shyly.

“Oh, hahaha.” He laughed, humbled by your return of the pet name. Ah, this was what love felt like. He had almost forgotten. “Are you sure you - want me, like that, Y/N?”

Rolling your eyes, you shrugged.

“Depends - will you start hoovering?”

Beomgyu’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head, jumping up before flopping down as you stayed sitting on his stomach.

“Fuck no!!” He cried desperately, “But I’ll let you come to band practice if you want to be around me so badly.”

You squinted at his faux smugness, punching his chest before crossing your arms.

He cried out, giggling until he could pull you to slide between him and the back of the sofa, ignoring your whining to drown you in fabric.

“Gyu! Get off me! HELP! I’m drowning - SEND HELP!” 

But you were merely playing. Accepting kisses between giggles.

“Shut up, and get some rest. We’re ordering food tonight.”

“I’m so squished and stuffy Beomgyu -”

“Good. Oh, and, I love you, idiot.”

“Laundry duty and I’ll say it back?”

“Fuck no, but I still love you. Even if you don’t say it back.”

“You’re insufferable.”

“And you have a cat-boy for a boyfriend. Nerd.”

“Oh - when did I say it could be official?”

"You didn't - I did. It’s in your best interest. Trust me. I would know.”

MAIN MASTERLIST /// TXT MASTERLIST /// IMAGE MASTERPOST

[UIHALL - PART 2.I HERE] /// [UIHALL - PART 2.II CONTINUED]

well would you look at that: updated 5/DECEMBER/2023

[mandos-mind-trick]

Kinktober Day 31 - Breathplay

Summary: There’s a man that visits you sometimes in your dreams. It’s always strange, feeling more real than it should. Who are you to complain, though, when he takes you to places you’ve never been before? 

Pairing: Hunter x reader

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, monster AU, incubus!Hunter, dream sex, breathplay, choking, almost strangulation briefly, unprotected sex, kind of dubious consent since reader thinks it’s a dream but she is still a willing participant, fear play (a little bit I mean, reader is getting choked)

A/N: So here we are. 31 days of kinky smut and absolute filth. Did you survive? I barely did. I want to thank everyone who read my depraved filth and especially those of you who kept coming back for more. It's the first time I've made it through all 31 days ever so I'm a little proud if I do say so myself. This has been fun, but I'm definitely taking a little break now because my brain is tired.

This fic was inspired by “Devil by the Window” by TXT. 

MASTERLIST

(GIF found on Google)

It’s happening again. The dreams always feel so real. Your room always looks the same as it does when you’re awake, nothing out of place, nothing strange about it. You know you’re dreaming because your body moves without you even realizing it, without you even thinking about it. 

I met the devil by the window

Traded my life

Temptation touched my tongue

Spread the wings of desire

He's whispering

"Give up, don't you put up a fight"

Said the devil by the window

"Dream on, dream on, good night!"

You can feel it, the pull towards your window, the desire to open it. You’re moving across your room before you even realize, hands reaching for the locks. You’re sliding it open, cool air biting at your skin. Something brushes past you, rusting your curtains and your pajamas. It's cold against your skin, goosebumps forming as an icy chill runs down your spine. Chilled fingers wrap around your bare arms, a solid form pressing against your back. 

“Thank you, sweetheart.” 

You’re splayed out on your back in bed, the window closed. The end of your bed dips and you turn your gaze slowly to find a familiar tattooed face staring at you. It’s the man that visits you often in your dreams. They always feel different, more real when he shows up, like you’re stuck somewhere between being asleep and awake. You’re starting to think that’s what’s happening, since you always feel drained and exhausted when you wake in the morning. Your body always feels heavy and your mind scrambled, almost like you didn’t sleep at all the night before. 

You can’t complain though, not when you know what’s coming. 

The man crawls further up the bed, moving like a predator hunting its prey. You’re very much the prey, unable to even move as he crawls up your body until you’re face to face. He’s a handsome man, long dark hair half pulled back from his face, the left side of which is tattooed like a skull. You know the skeletal pattern continues down the left side of his body, all the way to his toes.

His handsome face pulls into a grin as he stares down at you, that strange buzzing feeling starting to thrum under your skin. You stare into his dark eyes, almost black in the low light from your lamp on your desk across the room. 

“Hello again, sweetheart.” He says, voice low and deep. “I’ve missed you.” 

“You’ve been gone for a while.” The words float from your mouth, your voice light and airy, almost not sounding like your own. 

“I was...taking care of some things.” He says, shifting his weight to lift a hand to your cheek. His touch is warm and real. You can feel the calluses on his fingers, the weight of his touch as he drags his fingers across your skin. “But I’m here now. Did you miss me?” 

“Yes.” You nod, lips brushing his fingers as they ghost over your lips. 

“I knew you would.” He leans down closely, so close you can smell his intoxicating aftershave, and the slight scent of smoke that always seems to linger around him. You always swear you can still smell a hint of it when you wake up. “I’m going to take care of you.” 

His hand grips your jaw, fingers digging into your cheeks as he leans down, brushing his lips against yours. You try to push yourself up closer to him but you can’t move, still pinned to the bed under him. His teeth drag across your bottom lip, scraping against the sensitive skin. He tugs on your jaw, forcing your mouth open before he kisses you, slipping his tongue into your mouth. He tastes like smoke and expensive liquor, a fire igniting in your body, traveling straight between your legs. 

Your thighs clench as heat begins to bloom between them, your thin underwear starting to dampen. Whatever force had been keeping you pinned to the bed suddenly releases you, letting you move. You wrap your arms around his body, hands trailing the expensive dress shirt he’s wearing. He’s always dressed well, expensive and well tailored. 

You do love a man in a suit. 

His lips trail down your neck, hand tilting your head for him to give him more room. Your panties continue to dampen as he licks and sucks on all the right spots, knowing exactly how to get the biggest reaction out of you. He’s always known, even the first time he appeared. Though, you suppose a figure made up by your mind in your dreams would know all the right things to do. 

You can feel him, hard and bulging against your thigh as he presses his body into yours. You slip your hands around to his front, fingers fumbling as you begin undoing the buttons of his shirt. You want to feel his skin against yours. He smirks against your neck, pressing an open mouthed kiss to your skin before he sits up, pulling his shirt off. He’s so perfect, wide shoulders tapering down to a slim waist. His thick, strong thighs bulge under the fabric of his pants, almost as much as his cock does. There’s a thin silver chain around his neck, some sort of coin hanging off of it. You’ve never been able to make out what kind of coin it is, that part of your dream always a bit hazy. 

You pull your own shirt off, tossing it over the edge of your bed. You no longer feel shy baring yourself to him. He is just a dream after all. His hands slide up your sides, the rough pads of his fingers dragging against your skin. He cups your breasts, squeezing them gently. You stare up at his face as he focuses on your breasts, thumbs flicking your nipples. Your lips part in a quiet gasp as he rubs the sensitive nubs, the corner of his mouth lifting in a smirk as your panties continue to dampen with his teasing touches. 

He slides his hands off your breasts, pressing them into the bed on either side of you. You stare up at him as he hovers over you, his necklace dangling between you. You still can’t make out what it is, your dream blurring whatever is printed on it. 

“I thought we’d try something new this time.” He says, drawing your attention to his face. “Something that will be pleasurable for us both.” 

“What is it?” You ask, your heart thumping in your chest. 

He grins, trailing his fingers down your throat. “You’ll see.” 

His fingers trail down your sternum to your stomach, goosebumps forming on your skin as his light touch tickles you. You try not to squirm as he trails his fingers to the waistband of your pajama pants, slipping them under the band. He tugs them down quickly and easily, tossing them off the end of the bed. Your legs part for him automatically, revealing the damp spot on your underwear. He hums in approval, his hand slipping between your legs to cup your sex through your underwear. 

His touch is hot, fingers pressing into your folds as he rubs you, quiet breathy moans slipping from your lips. He tugs your panties to the side, dragging a finger through your slick folds. You moan as his finger flicks across your clit, thighs clenching as pleasure thrums through you. 

“So sensitive.” He remarks, teasingly circling your clit with his finger. 

You whine, toes curling as he continues to tease your clit. You could cum just like this, his touch intoxicating and driving more and more pleasure through your body. It’s almost as if he has some magic power, some ability to ramp your body up with just a single touch. Though you suppose anything is possible in your dreams. 

You yelp as he delivers a sharp slap to your pussy, the sensitive skin throbbing. 

He drags your underwear down your legs with a chuckle. “Always so responsive.” He says, tossing your underwear onto the floor. “That’s why you’re my favorite.” 

You don’t think much about his words as he undoes the button on his pants, standing off your bed to tug them down his thighs. You watch as his cock is revealed, hard and leaking. Your thighs clench together at the thought of taking him, always a perfect fit, always able to reach spots inside you, you can only dream of. 

He truly is your dream man. 

He crawls back onto the bed, grinning at you as he parts your thighs, slipping between them. You stare up at him, getting lost in his eyes as the buzzing feeling starts pulsing under your skin once more. You feel dizzy and drunk with lust as he drags his cock through your folds, desperate and needy to get him inside you. 

“Please.” You whimper, trying to shift your hips for him. “Please, I need you inside me.” 

He grins wickedly. “Your wish is my command.” 

The broad head of his cock presses into you, burning a bit as he stretches you open. The pain quickly morphs into pleasure as he sinks into you, your body opening for him like it was made for him. Or, perhaps he was made for you. 

His hands slide down your thighs as he seats himself inside you, hips pressed against yours. You feel so full, your entire body burning as you stare up at him. His hands close around your hips, using your body as leverage as he begins to move. He withdraws his cock from you, almost to the tip before he sinks back in until his hips are flush with yours again. 

He begins to pick up the pace, his thrusts becoming shallower as he builds up speed. He leans his body over you, hands pressing into the bed on either side of your head. His thumb presses against your lower lip as your lips part in a moan. His hand drags down your face to your throat, his fingers closing around your neck. Fear and excitement thrum through you as he begins to squeeze, your breath hitching at the sudden pressure. 

Your heart is thrumming in your chest as you stare up at him, his thrusts shaking the bed as he drives his hips into yours. You gasp for breath as he tightens his hold on your throat, air still filling your lungs, but you can feel the constriction in your breaths. Fear continues to thrum below the surface of the pleasure. There’s nothing malicious in his eyes, his gaze pointed and focused. You can’t really die, though, can you? 

After all, this is just a dream. 

He keeps his hand where it is, keeping your breathing restricted as he continues to fuck you. The pleasure continues to build despite the lightheadedness settling in, the fear almost driving the pleasure even further. Weak, squeaky moans slip around around his hand as he relaxes his fingers just slightly, your eyes fluttering as more oxygen floods your brain. Your pussy clenches around him, the feeling almost beyond pleasurable. 

He tightens his grip on your neck once more, cutting off more air. You’re gasping around his hand, the sudden shock of fear slicing through your nervous system as he chokes you. Your hands wrap around his wrist, trying to get him to ease up but he doesn’t move. You writhe under him, your blood pumping in your ears as you suddenly find you can’t breathe at all. 

You flail as he continues to fuck you, eyes pulsing and ears thrumming as pressure fills your head, your airway cut off completely by his hand. You’ve begun to panic, instinct setting in as your body tries to find a way to get any precious oxygen. Your ears are ringing, eyes feeling like they may pop right out of your skull as you fight for breath against the hand constricting your throat. Black spots begin to dance in your vision, the pressure almost too much as you feel unconsciousness beginning to seep in. 

And for just a moment, hardly more than a second you see it. Not a man atop you, but some horrible nightmare with black skin and red eyes and horns. There’s a chain around its neck, like ones you’ve seen people use on large dogs. Gone is the handsome man you’ve come to know and instead some creature has taken his place. Its skin feels rough and leathery as you try to pull his hand away, blunt claws digging into your skin at the back of your neck. Something whips in the air behind it as you struggle, a long tail with a pointed end. 

Suddenly air fills your lungs, your back arching as oxygen floods your brain. Pleasure washes through you as your vision goes dark, your entire body shaking with your release, and the sudden rush of precious air into your lungs and your brain. 

He’s hovering over you, not the creature but the handsome man once again. His hand is stroking your cheek as you pant and cough, chest brushing his from how close he is to you. Your throat feels raw and sore, and you can’t help but wonder if you’re bruised. 

“There she is.” He grins at you, brushing a hand over your sweaty forehead. He leans forward, pressing a kiss to your lips. “Always so good for me. Always so sweet” His tongue darts out, licking the sweat from your top lip. “I’ll see you again soon, sweetheart.” 

You’re dizzy and lightheaded, pussy still fluttering as your eyes slip closed, exhaustion settling in as the room around you fades into nothing once more. 

High, I feel my body drifting into the sky

I won't come down, come down, come down

I'll fly

Weightless, without a worry into the night

He said, "Dream on, dream on, dream on"

Ragu list:

@kaminocasey @rosechi @mxkyrie @bobaprint @star-trekker-0013 @padawancat97 @bamfahsoka @rain-on-kamino @thrawnspetgoose @lune-de-miel-au-paradis @wolffegirlsunite @dukeoftheblackstar @starrylothcat @sev-on-kamino @freesia-writes @anxiouspineapple99 @wings-and-beskar @dystopicjumpsuit @littlemissmanga @madameminor @eris-k

@clio3kantarella @moonlightwarriorqueen @sleepingsun501 @originalcollectionartistry @maddiedrmr @idontgetanysleep @sinfulsalutations @clonemedickix @523rdrebel @deejadabbles @starqueensthings @multi-fan-dom-madness @wizardofrozz @mythical-illustrator @sunshinesdaydream @mooncommlink @lickylickylicky @sweetheartsnips @commanderblood @crosshairlovebot @ghostperson69 @jediknightjana @jedi-hawkins @dalu-grantkylo @hellhound5925

[aeomianamoure]

hii!! i absolutely loveee your fanfics sm ૮ ․ ․ ྀིა

i was wondering if you could maybe write something abt emo best friend txt (OT5) being jealous over your other guy friends? and you can also add your own plot to it ^^

(hope this request isn’t confusing… 𖦹 ´ ᯅ ` 𖦹 )

— emo jealous bestfriend txt!

warnings <3: !mean txt (sorry.. i swear they mean well!) , crybaby reader! (im sorry again cry baby reader is always so cute to me..) , jealous n possessive txt! , loser reader but it’s okay because she’s pretty and sweet!

a/n <3: hai !! the emoticons you use r sooo cute like seriously :D nnn it’s not confusing don’t worry!! i hope u like this fic too tysm for the support ily smsmsm :3

!emo jealous bestfriend txt who’d stare down at you talking to one of your guy friends with their pierced tongue poking at the inside of the cheek jealously being the only emotion they knew at the moment; “what did he want? why was he talking to you?” he charged at you gripping onto your arm stopping you from walking away from him

you’d whimper quietly secretly liking his aggressive behavior; “chad just wanted to hangout this weekend at my place he said there’s this new video game he wants to try with m-me” you shudder looking up at the angry emo boy in front of you

“bullshit i can tell by how he was eye fucking you, he’s definitely only interested in fucking you” your bestfriend bluntly splats with venom on his tongue not really paying attention to how mean that sounded to you

“you really think that? you think no one would ever be interested beyond just fucking me?” you felt your voice tremble as you sniffle back tears

your bestfriends eyes soften as panic rushes through their veins, “what no don’t cry im just saying chad is just using you-“ “so you think i’m all used up too!?” you were struggling to let out a sentence as you cried harder only making the emo boy panic more

“baby please open the door i promise i didn’t mean to hurt your feelings like that i just-“ your bestfriend pounds at your door begging for you to open up as you sob out a weak ‘no! go away you’re so mean to me!’

but you being you; you never liked making your bestfriend chase after you or dwell on his mistakes so you let him in your room after his countless apologies of course

“do i really have to cancel on chad? i swear its just gonna be a friend date nothing more” you’d frown as your cries finally died down but only because your bestfriend agreed to play with your hair as you laid on their lap

your bestfriend rolled his eyes with a sigh trying to snatch your phone away from your hands as your eyes widen at the sudden movement; “w-what are you doing?” you didn’t let your phone go

this angered your bestfriend more; causing him to grip on your wrists as an attempt to get your phone from you. “im gonna tell chad to fuck off since you’re too much of a pussy to say no to somebody” he dryly laugh at you “if you care about your wrists not bruising i suggest you let go” the emo boy warns you gripping onto you tighter

you let out a yelp in pain as you quickly let go; hovering on his broad shoulder watching him text chad a nasty text message reading ‘next time you interact with y/n your family is going to wake up to your skull and bones as a wreath decoration hanging from your front door’ and you felt goosebumps at that threat

“you’re not gonna do that to my family one day right?” you were worried slowly backing away from your bestfriend. “not unless you’re a good girl for me and stay away from all of your guy friends but you can do that right?” he pulled you closer grinning at your scared state

“all my guy friends?” you’d ask

“every single one of them” your bestfriend assured you and you gulped

a/n <3: i thought of jealous girl by lana del rey woah

[qqtxt]

[🌸] a little different w/ txt

✿ pairing: ot5 x reader / idol!txt / non.idol!you / soft times with txt / mentions of food / a couple of curse words but nothing out of ill intentions ✿ mini-fics with each member for the same situation / less than 500 words for each member / altogether, word count: 1,300 words ✿ when you cancel a planned date with them and this is how they react >:) [masterlist 🌸] / other members under the cut! / @kflixnet​​ ✨

days where he’s able to have off and be able to go on a date with you rarely came by... the same time that you were feeling a bit off. not off as in something detrimental had happened but... you know, those one-off days where you wake up and feel like the world absolutely sucked no matter how you tried to reshape your view. that led you to call him; to let him know that you didn’t feel up to the date you had planned and...

[🐰] soobin soobin responds in a way that makes your heart flutter despite the lingering heaviness around you. he’s gentle, understanding, even asking you can i still come and see you? he arrives with a minute to spare than his estimated time. he’s got a bunch of snacks in his bag pack, some of your favourites, some of his; altogether he’s ditching it by the side of your door as he pulls you into a hug that melts you to your knees. sits with you quietly, just co-existing. every now and then he’s checking on you with a worried gaze during a show you’ve put on the television but easily smiles when you still have the energy in you to smile at him with a hand cupping his cheek. rests easy when you nap against him and he’ll admit it–this was better than the planned date, anyway; just as long as he was with you.

tl;dr: soobin will be more than happy just staying at home with you as long as he gets to be with you. as a homebody-person, he 100% appreciates being at home, anyway. however, knowing that you were feeling down, activates his caring mode to the max. expect this man to try to take care of you to his best abilities. snacks? gotchu. cuddles? say no more. rather than using words to make you feel better, he’ll definitely show it in his actions.

[🦊] yeonjun yeonjun’s mind jumps to the worst possible scenario to why you’re feeling the way you’re feeling. had something happened? did something upset you? did he do something or was it something he didn’t do? when you reassure him that it was nothing in particular, just... one of those days, he understands immediately. “...is it okay if i still come over? just wanna see you, wanna be with you.” honestly, there was no way you could turn him down, you monste–he shows up with flowers and it puts a smile to your face despite the world not giving you reasons to today. he’d gush over you and shower you with compliments to make you feel shy, and to top the icing on the cake the second he sees you smile, he’d say: “ah... look at that pretty smile. that’s all i ever ask for.” 

tl;dr: man’s freaking out the moment you want to cancel the date out of fear he was the reason why but is relieved when you explain to him of the reason why... only for him to get worried about you soon after. the moment he gets to see you, though, he’ll try to use his words as a way to make you feel better. compliments? you’re drowning in them. words of encouragement? yeonjun would never let you doubt yourself again. yet, in the midst of all this, he’d try to get you to speak about your feelings so he can try to make you feel better. and if you didn’t feel like talking, he’ll be more than glad to just sit there with you and have you in his arms.

[🐯] beomgyu beomgyu playfully whines that he’s been wanting to go out with you and take pretty pictures but is quick to read the tone of your voice when you explain to him that you weren’t feeling a 100% today rather than you calling it off as lazy. he tells you that he’ll be over in an hour, to which you didn’t have room to reject him (not that you were going to, you wanted to see him, anyway). he shows up a little bit earlier than he had predicted and you’re surprised at the way he was able to get your favourite takeout, a singular heart balloon accompanied with a small bouquet of dried flowers. “just because you didn’t want to go out on a date, doesn’t meant that the date can’t come to you.” has this shit-eating-grin on his face when he sees you getting emotional at what he’s done but falls to your mercy as he sets everything down so he can hug you.

tl;dr: this guy puts the ‘a’ in ‘romantic’, because he’s ALL about trying to use romantic gestures as a way to make you feel better. if you’re not up to go out on a date? say no more, he’ll bring it to you, instead. though, don’t get fooled with the gestures he’s pulling, it doesn’t steer him away from comforting you with just his presence alone; hugging you, kissing you, cuddling you until you feel better. you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to because all he wants to do is be there with you.

[🐿] taehyun taehyun would try not to sound disappointed (only because he wanted to see you) and would ask if you wanted space to be alone. when you sound hesitant, that’s when he’ll ask if he can come by to see you or if you wanted to come by the dorm instead. whichever it is, taehyun would get you to open up and allow yourself to feel the emotions you feel, then slowly pick you up from there. he’ll still try to cheer you up, but he would want you to feel free in what you feel and not pretend around him. and if all you wanted was for him to hold you, that’s exactly what he’ll do.

tl;dr: his advancements might seem cold compared to the others but he only has your best intention at heart. he wouldn’t try to push to be affectionate, knowing that’s not what would help you at the moment but he would be there with you, quietly supporting you as you felt the emotions you felt. when it seems like you’re feeling a bit better, that’s when he’ll kick in his affectionate side and smother you with affections–cue taehyun clinging onto you like a koala.

[🐧] kai  kai would initially sound like he’s whining because of the cancelled date, but you come to find out that it’s only because he misses you and wants to spend time with you. when you tell him that it’s only the date that’s cancelled and you’d still want to see him, boy, this boy flies to your place at the speed of light. he’ll remember to bring a snack or two, maybe even bubble tea of your liking, but most importantly, you greet the door with a cute plushie in your face; one of the tens upon twenties from his dorm that he gives to you as a way to be there for my favourite person, protect them with all your cuddly might. as you hold the plushie in your hands, your heart grows soft but you would ask kai to hug you instead; to which he does very willingly.

tl;dr: say no more, this boy will be right over with a plushie and he makes you keep the plushie at your place, telling you to sleep with it because it’ll make your heart feel better. as he cuddles you, he’ll make you cuddle the plushie and it’s a cuddle-ception. though playful, he’ll then get to the quiet moments and start asking if you wanna talk about your feelings. whichever you chose to do, be it talk to your heart’s content or stay in silence with him, it doesn’t matter as long as you held onto that plushie, and he holds onto you in the process.

[koqabear]

Hmmm, I'm really into fantasy. As for groups, I stan a lot (probably too many), so you could recommend any 😭

Also, what do you mean?!😭 Your personality is just so 💜💜💜!! Like I have never admired a stranger so much in my entire life 😭😭😭

-Lvlee

hi loveee !! so as it turns out,,, making a rec list is very hard. very. i've read a lot less fics than i thought omg (which is why all the ones i listed are on the older side LMAO), so i am here with some txt and bts recs 😭 they're mostly supernatural/fantasy, but you can always check out my main blog (@/michipan) if you wanna see anything else!

also 🫠 please.... im sobbing rn u are the cutest ever </3 i am nothing but a silly little normal person i promise

to anyone who decides to check out these recs, pleeeeaaase support the authors!! please im genuinely begging you!!! leave a little review and a reblog and show them love bc they're amazing <3

BTS Recs

☆ Beastly Gods by @lemonjoonah

✧ hybrid!taehyung x fem!reader x ???

wc: 8K // genre: hybrid au, thirller, drama, smut, potentially dark and triggering content so read the warnings carefully!

Summary: ‘Don’t leave the forest,’ a rule that you’ve been forced to follow since birth, but you are tired of living in this wooden cage. Out of desperation you cut a deal with Taehyung, who claims to be the only one who can get you out safely, even though he might be just as dangerous as the god you’re trying to escape.

sol's personal notes:

oh. my. GOD. this was one of the first few fics i read when i joined this site, and it's literally stuck with me ever since. i can't say too much about it without spoiling it, but the worldbuilding and pacing was just. immaculate. the storyline is so well done and just. everything about it is perfection omg. there's another part that goes along with this story, but i can't link it bc ofc... spoilers 😖i wish i had more to say about this fic, but i read it years ago and forgot to write a review for it T_T

☆ Treasure by @sombreboy

✧ faerie dragon hybrid!jimin x fem!reader

wc: 4.7K // genre: pwp smut, hybrid, yandere, fairytale, again potentially dark and triggering content so read the warnings carefully!

Summary: Jimin loves to collect sparkly riches and playthings. You just happen to be the next treasure that ignited his obsessive desires.

sol's personal notes:

(fucking explodes into a million pieces) i can't. i had to reread this story real quick to get a refresher on it and just. jimin's character in this is literally so perfect and mischievous and evil!! and i love it... <3 he is characterized so well and the descriptions are just so well done... ouuu i just read over the smut again and i teared up a little. the dialogue is genuinely so insane im not normal abt this fic sorry.

TXT Recs

☆ the prince and the jackal by @gyuluster

✧ prince!beomgyu x woodcutter!metalbender!reader

wc: 11.8k // genre: fantasy au, fluff

Summary:  in the Kingdom of Terrae, you, a metalbender, believe in the deforestation to modernise the land. As a member of the Lumberjackals, you thrive on cutting down trees and stealing resources until you get caught by the Crown Prince, Choi Beomgyu, a lover and embodiment of the nature you wish to destroy. However, instead of imprisoning you for your crimes, Beomgyu decides to show you the beauty and wonders of nature, leaving you to doubt your beliefs, your identity, and your very feelings for the certain boy determined to change you for the better.

sol's personal notes:

unfortunately the author is no longer active on this account (💔💔💔💔) but like. this story literally changed my brain chemistry i dont think you guys understand. it's been so long since i read this but even so, it lives on in my mind... the world building and characters are so well done and from what i remember, beomgyu's character was literally so charming T_T such a pretty story, i might go reread this bc like... the fantasy was executed so well and i love me a good royalty au <3 not to mention the whole concept of the powers is so cool!

☆ Swimmin' in a Mirror by @bangchanswolfpelt

✧ soobin x2 x fem!reader (stay with me here)

wc: 2.5K // genre: magical school au (not a harry potter au) smut

Summary unavailable.

sol's personal notes:

this one's like a whole 180 from the last fic LMAO but GOOD GOD. this author isn't active anymore from what i know of but like. they were literally revolutionary and this fic is just. never seen anything like this before but )#%(&#%??? it's genuinely so impressive how they managed to pull this off alkghadg so hot so insane so creative

☆ that's the spirit! by @agustdiv1ne

✧ sixth sense/ ghost hunter! soobin x fem!reader

wc: 14.6K // genre: high school au, fluff, angst, some elements of horror

Summary: a couple weeks before halloween, you find the quiet boy from your high school staring up into your bedroom. you're a little creeped out, and miles more scared, but then he shows you something that changes how you see, well, everything.

sol's personal notes:

are we surprised. i don't think so. i literally never shut up about this fic ever like i'm such a sucker for unique stories and this is definitely one of them! the pacing, supernatural elements, and environment was written sooo well, and the worldbuilding and explanations that comes along with the plot is so perfectly executed and well thought out. such a cool story, with a banger playlist to go along with it :]

☆ Dirty Little Secret by @petrichor-han

✧ vampire! yeonjun x gn!witch!reader

wc: 4.0K // genre: angst, dark fantasy, vampire!au, witch!au, enemies to lovers

Summary: yeonjun is one of prince seungmin’s most trusted bodyguards. born as a low-class vampire, he worked his way to the top and is proud of his accomplishments, beginning to adapt his friends’ classist mindsets and forgetting where he came from. but when his brothers come to visit one day, exposing his poor ancestry, everyone turns against him except for one: a lowly servant whom he’d picked on in the past—you.

sol's personal notes:

are you kidding me. DARK FANTASY. yeah that's literally all it took for me to fall in love with this story; the imagery is beautiful and the storytelling is so heart wrenching and good and i am literally clawing at the bars of my enclosure rn btw. this fic is sososo good and i'd literally kill to get another morsel from this universe !

⭒⭒⭒

✧ again, make sure to show all these lovely authors some love!! if any of you manage to see this (unlikely. for the most part) i literally cherish these stories sm and would literally die for them idcidc u guys truly made some masterpieces over here ✧

[melancholy-of-nadia]

La La Lost You (m) (teaser) | cyj

title: La La Lost You (m) << one-shot prequel to love u lately >> pairing: choi yeonjun x f. reader feat. bits of yoongi x f. reader, namjoon x f. reader, jimin x f. reader rating/genre: m (18+) ; angst , fluff, smut ; fake dating au; post-high school au, lowkey tatbilb au summary: choi yeonjun was simply just your academic rival, competing for honors at graduation during your senior year. however, when one of your (distant) friends' brothers is getting married, your 3 guy best friends all have dates to the event except you. in order not to feel like a loser, you decide to call up the only other tolerable male you know: Yeonjun, to be your fake date. what will happen when a childish fake date scheme actually ends up turning into your first real relationship lasting an entire summer. it may ultimately.. not end well note: i KNOW i have yet to finish Love U Lately, but i wanted to present this prequel idea to you guys!! i know many of y'all may not be a txt moa, but this one shot will definitely add a lot more insight on previous events and character insight to other bts characters in LUL that don't get much of a spotlight note 2: you do not have to read LUL to understand this fic. honestly might be better if you haven't read it! it will heavily focused on the mentioned previous relationship reader had with yeonjun before starting college and well as the perspectives of yoonminjoon and their attitudes towards it as they were still struggling with their romantic feelings for reader warnings: language, sexual innuendo mentions, maybe some smut, underage drinking, yeonjun has a band, soobin appearance, jungkook has a small crush on reader, halsey shows up!, yoonminjoon being jealous and overprotective, typical things that happen in a summer romance, bonfire party, eventual breakup smut warnings: tba drop date: spring 2024 word count: 15k (projected)

"Look, Choi, I need you to-"

"Need me? Sounds kinda erotic." The taller boy chuckles, and your face scowls, turning a heavy shade of red.

"Huh? You're gross! As if I would EVER do anything trashy with you!" You cross your arms, feeling impatient. Jimin should be here any minute from his last class across campus so you can both go home together. This isn't gonna work, and you don't have any more time for this. "You know what, never mind. I don't even know why I bothered to think of asking you. I should've asked Mark instead." You turn around, deciding to walk away from the situation. You'll take the L! You'll go to Seokjin's dumb brother's wedding by yourself like the loser you are while everyone else has dates.

"Hey, wait!" Yeonjun pulls your arm toward him, making you turn back around. "Alright. Fine, princess, I'm listening. What is it?" He looks at you, finally with sincerity in his eyes.

God, I guess if he actually wants to listen, then you'll say it. What could go wrong?

You tiptoe and lean in close to his ear, catching Yeonjun slightly off guard. "Okay. I need you to be my fake date to my friend's brother's wedding."

Yeonjun blinks repeated, processing the request. After realizing he was frozen, he immediately goes back to his usual expression and smirks. "Well, well, well. Looks like someone couldn't resist the charm of Choi Yeonjun after all."

You roll your eyes, "Hell no. Please, I'd rather dance with a cactus."

He raises an eyebrow, "You sure about that? Cacti can be quite prickly, you know."

You huff, "Just shut up and play along. I need you to act like a decent human being for one evening. You owe me anyways., remember?"

Yeonjun smirks again, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "Decent human being? That's a stretch," he grins, clearly enjoying this. "But sure, why not? It's not every day someone gets to be in the presence of greatness."

You scoff, shaking your head, "Greatness? Please. Just don't embarrass me, okay?"

Yeonjun's grin widens, "No promises, sweetheart. But I'll do my best. After all, I owe you."

"Yeah, yeah. Just be ready to suffer through a night of pretending to like me," you retort with a wry smile.

"Oh, the sacrifices I make for you," he replies, sarcasm dripping from every word.

As you walk away, hoping to meet jimin halfway (where the hell is he?) you can't help but mutter under your breath, "This is gonna be a disaster."

Yeonjun's laughter follows you from a very short distance, "Oh, sweetheart, you have no idea."

➸ let me know what you think OR join the taglist! ➸ love u lately series masterlist

[haechanhues]

KPOP FIC RECS

So I recently (like a couple of months ago) read Bowie’s Books by John O’Connell which is a series of essays exploring David Bowie’s list of 100 Books that transformed his life and I thought it was a way to make my own. These are all fics (in some way or another) that have been memorable in many different ways and I hope to share them with you all.

This is also a full on sap train so I thought you should be ready. I’m also weirdly nervous since this feels kind of vulnerable and makes me shy. but haiii

PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE | PART FOUR | PART FIVE

1. @hyuckiebabie - Bad Intentions | NCT (discontinued) 

Of course, I have to start with this. I have to. I’ve also just learnt that author-nim has since left tumblr. But the writing was beautiful and the connection that Haechan and the MC had with each other was absolutely alluring. God I felt things I have never felt before. This was quite awhile ago and I’m kind of sad I can’t reread it to boost my memory a bit more but I was super excited for every update. But aww I wish you could all read it even though it was discontinued, it still remains very memorable for me. 

2.  @beom1e​ - Love Is Not Easy | TXT (completed)

The fic that made me obsess over TXT fics for a very large portion of the year. I read it again and it’s so chaotic and erratic in the best way. I love these boys with all my heart and it was so fun to be able to read it and connect to it. There were different endings that were all really fun. The very first time I was a very big Yeonjun supporter but nowadays I feel a more Beomgyu lean. Hmm, I don’t know. So many options. Can’t forget about Soobin either. The best kind of crossroad ever. 

3. @dovechim - That’s Okay That’s Love | BTS (ongoing)

No because I’m frustrated my original comments about this didn’t save. I remember reading this and it was the first time I had read something involving mental health so blatantly and it just felt oddly satisfying. What I liked the most about this fic however was the way that every character was interwoven within the story without the sole purpose of their existence to be a ‘friend’ to the main character and give advice and put some sense into them nor to invoke drama. I liked that they each have their own story and plot and it’s so majestically done that I always have to applaud this story for it.

4. @jayflrt - The A List | ENHYPEN (one-shot) 

Ahhh yes, I finally get to talk about this. This was one of the first ENHYPEN fics I read and it definitely helped me stan them to the level I did. I love the ....friendship between the MC and Jay. I love the taste of the whole fic in general - the rich people shit and the drama and the need to just not be made into a total loser by an anonymous source. I’m not even being dramatic but this fic has a taste and it’s absolutely fucking wonderful I’m salivating. 

5. @fantasybangtan​ - Queen Cobra | BTS (ongoing) 

One of my utmost favourite writers on Tumblr and in general. I love this story with all my heart and it made me a total * girl. This fic always manages to have a hook on me in more ways than one and I was so excited to see that a chapter has been updated since I last read it. I hope to god you never stop writing. Ever. Such a talented person and a very special one at that. I sound a bit like teachers comments in student reports and I’m sorry. But I hope you feel how sincere I am in my recommendations to read this fic. You have to. Absolute art. 

6.  @caramellohigh - Not Such A Good Boy | THE BOYZ (ongoing) 

This is my favourite depiction of Juyeon, like ever. I remember seeing three times before I actually read it. First it popped up in my dash just randomly, then it was recommended (not specifically to me) but I had been wanting to read a few fics. I thank whatever higher power exists for this fic. I can’t explain myself but like it’s so good. I love the whole golden sweet nice sunshine boy being this person who isn’t actually all that sunny and saintly trope. I don’t know the proper name for it but I loved this. I can’t wait for more chapters such an exciting fic, I couldn’t put this fic down for the life of me. I had a lot to do today but I didn’t do it because I was reading this hahaha best decision ever. 

7. @theluckyyyoneee​ - Antipode | EXO (completed) 

OH MY GOD I JUST SAW THERE’S AN UPDATED CHAPTER, I’M GOING TO READ IT NOW. Okay okay I’m going back to writing normally so I don’t look like an idiot, but I love this fic with all my heart. So so warm. I love that Chanyeol is just a literal puppy throughout the fic. God I hope to see this couple again. In any way. I’ll take it. I remember I first read this when Chanyeol went to the military and reading the final chapter when he’s back literally feels like all is right with the world. I adore this couple. And with the risk of sounding cheesy as hell, this story smells of pine and appears like Christmas lights in the night and I think that’s the cutest fucking thing. 

8. @jungblue - Future Hearts | BTS (ongoing) 

I’ll be honest, before I came to Tumblr I always ignored recommendations for fan fics - simply because I had different tastes to the person giving the recs (they were a bit too much for me) and I just liked that fan fics were just my terrain to freely explore the fics available without in some form being attached to someone else (i was going through some shit obviously). Then this fic showed up and I took a chance on it. Best thing I’ve ever done for myself. I fell in love with writing all over again. I thought of colours differently. Everything. was just so different. I was super invested in the story. I would say it became so definitive of the person I was at eighteen, when life started changing. So thank you author-nim. From your forever fan <3 I hope all is well with you, you deserve the whole world y’know. 

9. @sankyeom - Break Your Rules | THE BOYZ (completed)  

Okay okay so, I love Sunwoo with my whole heart and one of my favourite tropes is brother’s best friend (disclaimer : it reflects to my life in no shape, way or form but we love a good ol’ forbidden love without the death involved) I first read this on my other account and it’s always one I seek out if I want a little thrill and a happy ending. Also the side characters are so fucking funny, I loved reading them. This fic is the treat your aunty tells you she shouldn’t be giving you but does anyway and you love her with your whole heart. So wonderful. Absolutely wonderful. 

10. @chittapornswife​ - DYNL Club | NCT (ongoing) 

A fic I’m forever fond of, I think. I always used to read this whenever I would go to class and it would keep me from having panic attacks. It would always leave me feeling fluffy and energised enough to get through an hour (or longer) class (and it wasn’t like the class was terrible, it just made me anxious.) I always link this fic to good things, or at least like it’s a bridge from being less than okay to recovery which is kind of ironic considering the content. It also has Haechan in it, which I’m thankful for. This story helped build my love for him in a way, I think. I’m truly grateful. 

11. @desayunho​ - Time Of Love | ATEEZ (completed) 

Oh my god it was a struggle deciding what fic to use but I decided on this one. It’s so beautiful. Oh my god I loved it. I read ‘Lovefool’ before this one and just knew that I had to hop on this train too. Lovefool blew me away and I knew it would happen with this one too. Absolutely after my own heart. I’m not one for poly fics (not against them either, I just don’t normally read them) but AHHH I’m screaming. The dynamic. The everything. This fic is everything. Thank you and good night. I love San and Wooyoung and ATEEZ AND author-nim, a special place in my heart is reserved for you and your artistry. 

12. @ballelino - Wedding Season | STRAY KIDS (completed) 

With the risk of sounding absolutely delusional, this fic helped me well and truly realise that I am never ever going to move on from Lee Minho. Like ever. The fic left me feeling very vulnerable but well protected? I don’t know how to form words but...  Everything was just perfect. Truly a foundation. It’s a fic I want to read for the first time again for the feelings I felt and the sensations I was going through. Truly a magical ride. I’m not even being sappy - this is me being totally brutally honest. I loved it for lack of better words. You know that question that goes ‘If the words ‘I love you’ didn’t exist what would you use?’...This fic. That’s it. My new love language. 

13. @thepixelelf - Hood | THE BOYZ (completed) 

This was well and truly a rollercoaster.. god I could remember it. I was on the edge of my seat every update. I loved the whole friendship and the back and forth. Ever since that first chapter it has been a favourite of mine and has remained one of my favourites since then. Also it was literally a year spent together with a fic and I don’t know why but this makes me feel more attached and feel more love for this fic even more. It’s beautiful and it’s literally like cuddling a teddy bear. I don’t know how else to describe it. If I could hug any fic it would be this one. Cause it deserves everyone’s high praises and I want someone to experience reading this fic to experience it and just tell me what they thought and we can go nuts over it. 

14. @seokjinsdisciple - Who’s Your Daddy | ATEEZ (ongoing) 

What a rollercoaster of events. These ATEEZ fics (not even just this one) has a special place in my heart but I’m here to talk about this one in particular. It’s so incredibly cute and angsty at the same time. Anything you ask for in a fic, you get it practically. It’s everything. It gives me everything. It gives me life. Seventeen chapters in and I've already tried finding a wizard to turn me into a puddle on the floor because I can’t cope. It’s absolutely brilliant. Ahhhh- also one of the authors to open the new door for me in terms of social media aus. I never thought I’d be into them but I really am and a large part is due to author-nim so thank you for this medium of storytelling and doing such a good job every single time. No misses. 

15. @aspenwritesstuff - Prove Me Wrong | STRAY KIDS (ongoing) 

HOW COULD I NOT INCLUDE THIS. I can’t even remember how I came to read it but I remember reading it and being so hooked the very first chapter. I am also extremely affectionate of you, Aspen. This story and everything about it. I love it. It’s cute and fucking interesting and I’m just so hooked and excited I cannot wait to see how the rest of the story pans out. Like truly amazing. I’m going nuts over just thinking about it. Absolutely wonderful and just truly cute. I don’t know what else to say but it’s so cute. So fucking cute. Ahhhh. Just screaming and yelling and hollering at this point. LIKE YEAH THIS IS ME. THIS IS HOW EXCITED I CAN BE. Can’t wait, Aspen, honestly (take ur time tho <3) 

16. @gyukult​ - We Don’t Usually Hold Hands | SEVENTEEN (one-shot) 

So usually whenever I read Mingyu books I’m used to player Mingyu or sugar daddy esque-Mingyu who’s very cool. I’m not hating it. I still most likely would read it. But I never knew how much I needed a fic where I could actually see Mingyu in it and I think it’s perfect. I fell in love with this fic at first read and I think it’s actually changed the trajectory of my life forever. I’m not even being remotely funny. It really has. I don’t know - I loved the humour, I love just how casual the romance was. Like it felt so natural and just so Mingyu I don’t know what else to say without rambling. I feel like this fic is especially for those who don’t necessarily believe in romantic love, for those who do and in love with the idea of love and just everyone in between. So everyone basically. It’s a necessity. 

17. @kyufiber​ - How To Be A Heartbreaker | THE BOYZ (completed) 

God, I love this fic so much I don’t know what else to tell you. This is an Eric fic but it felt like more than just that. I’m a Sunwoo girl, have been from the very first video I saw of these guys but everyone just-. Let me tell you how PERFECT this fic is. It went exactly the way I wanted it but every update was a blessing and a gift. Like...is this music? No but I’m honestly always starstruck by this fic. I have no way of formulating proper sentences, it’s amazing. It’s so good. It’s so good. It’s honestly- GOD, especially if you’re an Eric person. This is for you. For all of you actually - read it! I’m begging with my whole chest, my whole soul, everything about me that is me - read it. 

18. @starrgaziinggg​ - Friends With Benefits | STRAY KIDS (ongoing) 

I can’t remember exactly remember the 6 W’s of how, where, when I found this fic. But all I remember is that it was a god send during my Minho phase (that is still in fact going, don’t get me wrong). Every new update is so fucking fun for me and definitely has me all up in there. I love this version of Minho. It’s one of my favourites. Absolutely. This fic has been a newfound love of mine and I’ve enjoyed falling in love with it every single chapter and I know that won’t ever change. I’m a bit speechless I don’t know what to say, currently I’m looking at it and I’m so excited to talk about it but all I am right now is a blubbering mess that can’t string two words together to make a single sentence. But I really appreciate this fic and I can’t wait for more updates! <3 

19. @wooyunhwa​ - Kingdom Of Welcome Addiction | ATEEZ (ongoing) 

Although it’s been a couple of years since the last update, I am still going to praise and praise this fic as if it’s my sole purpose in life. I love the way the characters are and how there’s a whole world away from everyone else - as if its just the three of them in this demon vs angel love affair. Don’t even get me started on the writing - it’s so beautiful, detailed and I love how humour is incorporated into it. Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. It surprised me so much in such little but significant ways that I think sets apart this fic from others like it. Truly. 

20. @yeow6n - boyfriend!haechan tiktok series | NCT (ongoing) 

Ahhh my current go-to Haechan fic writer. God, I’m in love. Have you ever felt a connection with someone you haven’t talked to or anything but because you share that one thing you’re in it for life? This is it my friends. This. Every fic I’ve read is a love of mine and I’m so excited to write about it. They’re usually short and sharp but incredibly sweet and it just- it makes loving Donghyuck easier. Honestly author-nim came in at the right time and totally swept me off my feet. In love with it. In love with him. Stan author-nim for good Haechan content. Honestly I feel like calling you bestie which is one hundred percent out of character for me so I won’t - but I just want to let you know that the temptation was there and it was a strong one!