#next semester we’re gonna make an actual vase out of this.

[eviltext]

finally finished (?) (pending approval) this vase model. steps under the cut.

2. carve vase out of plaster (the act is something resembling a cross between woodcarving, throwing pottery and billiard). let that thang dry

2. carve vase out of plaster (the act is something resembling a cross between woodcarving, throwing pottery and billiard). let that thang dry

3. cover in shellac (ough rhe smells) thrice for protection. because plaster is brittle and absorbent, shellac prevents chipping (to an extent) and oil stains from the plasticine. i did a shitty job at this.

4. fix up any parts you fucked up in the carving stage with plasticine (i messed up the base).

5. make handle out of plasticine using a paper cutout as a model.

6. make mold of handle with plaster (not shown). i fucked this one up as well because we haven’t learned how to make multiple-part molds yet and i went in way over my head.

7. use mold to make handles. all four of them, since the first perfect model was used to make the ugly mold and was destroyed in the process.

8. use paper cutout models to perfect the handles.

9. attach handles evenly to vase.

done.

[and-claudia]

His Heir pt. 40 (Darth Maul x pregnant! reader)

Hey guys... I am back. We're just not gonna talk about how my semester went there towards the end... Anyways, HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!! Here is your present!!! The next part of His Heir!!

Wordcount: 2300+

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gif not mine

“Oh. I knew I forgot to tell you something about the plans for today.” Dasar said, upon seeing my shocked face. 

“What is he doing here?” I asked, voice shaking. I wasn’t sure if I was nervous or heartbroken to see him. 

“He’s here for you.” Was all he said. 

The boat was docked and Totin got off first. Maul stepped closer as I approached the side. He offered me his hand without a word and I took it. Dasar stood behind me as Maul helped me step over the small gap between the dock and the boat. It felt like the silence that surrounded our small group was going to kill me. 

“Well, Totin and I have a few things we need to check on.” Dasar said, breaking the silence. 

I looked at him with panic in my eyes. He took a dramatic deep breath to show me to breathe. I took a deep breath and nodded. 

“Have a good evening.” I said to them. 

“You as well,” Totin said before addressing Maul, “We’re glad you made it, Lord Maul.” 

Maul gave them a nod and we stood quietly watching them walk down the dock. Once they were gone Maul turned to me. 

“How are you feeling?” 

“Fine.” I said quietly, I wasn’t snappy or short, it just felt like I had forgotten how to talk to him. 

“Words cannot begin to express how sorry I am, I fucked up.” He said looking at me with sadness in his eyes. 

“Yeah, you did, big time.” I couldn’t just forgive him, not this easily, “I can’t forgive you, not right now. I’ll be honest I could care less if you came to the wedding, what hurt the most was that you weren’t there for me and him when you promised you would be.” I said, placing a hand on my stomach as if to protect the baby from him. 

“I know, I cannot forgive myself for that either… I know I’ll have to earn back your trust. I know it won’t do much in terms of regaining your trust, but I am hoping it will at least score me a few points… I had a picnic on the beach prepared for us.” 

“You’re lucky that I am practically always hungry.” I said, cracking a small smile. 

He smiled as well and offered me his arm, “We’ll let’s not keep you waiting then.” 

I took his arm and allowed him to lead me down the dock. True to his word, a picnic blanket had been set up for us with an array of food. Maul helped me take off my shoes before he did the same. Then he carefully helped me sit down on the blanket. 

“How did you have time to get all of this planned?” I asked, looking at how beautifully everything was set up, even down to the vase to put the bouquet of flowers into. 

“Totin played a big role in it. He helped me get the kitchens to prepare the food, and then he obviously arranged for the servants to bring everything down to the cove and set it all up.” 

I nodded along as he spoke. Even though he had help, it was still such a sweet gesture, especially when it came to the consideration of what food had been prepared. As I gazed over it all, it was all of my favorites and not a single piece of food that I had any sort of aversion to. 

“Would you like something to drink?” Maul asked, reaching into the basket beside him and pulling out an odd-shaped decanter filled with a sparkly, deep green liquid. 

“Is that Emerald wine?” I asked in shock. 

Emerald wine was extremely expensive because the fruit used to make was only found in a few places. I had never actually had any before, but I recall it being had at certain events on Mandalore. 

Maul nodded, “It is. This particular one is non-alcoholic. It’s completely safe for you to drink.” 

“Well, in that case, I would love some.” 

The decanter made a pop when he opened it making me jump slightly. 

“Sorry.” Maul said, handing me my drink. 

“It’s okay, I think me jumping scared him more, honestly.” I laughed as I took the glass from him. 

I swirled the liquid around in the glass, watching the green glitter swirl around creating a mesmerizing pattern. Once Maul had poured his own glass he held it out to me and cheered my glass before we both took a drink. 

“Oh, that is good.” I said. 

“Have you never had Emerald wine before?” He asked. 

I shook my head.

“Well, once he’s here, I’ll be sure to get us the best bottle of the real thing for you to try.” 

“I’ll hold you to that,” I said before taking another sip, “Now, what all do we have?” 

We ate and made easy conversation, it was nice. I was almost able to forget about all the turmoil he had caused a couple of days prior. Almost. But not quite. Maul must have noticed this. 

“Please don’t think I am trying to distract you from what I did to you.” He said. 

“I know you're not… it's just… it’s hard for me when someone I trust to be there for me lets me down. I was so used to being on my own as a child and having no real form of support from anyone that as an adult it takes me a long time to let people in and when I do, it means I truly trust them, and to be let down by someone that I have let in… it hurts, to put it plainly… I really don’t know how to describe what it feels like.” I said as tears began to form on my lower lash line. 

Maul dropped his head slightly, “I’m sorry, my dear.” 

“I know… I know…” 

Maul reached over hesitantly and when he saw I wasn’t going to retreat away from him, he grabbed my hand. We weren’t looking at one another, instead we were both fixed on the horizon. The two moons had risen and were casting a beautiful glow out across the water. 

I wasn’t sure how long we sat in silence but eventually, it began to feel like my eyes were barely staying open. 

“We should probably get going. Tomorrow is the start of all the fun festivities, it best to get a good night's sleep tonight.” I said. 

Maul agreed and stood before turning around and helping me stand up as well. 

“Do we need to bring this all back with us?” I asked referring to the platers, blanket, and basket that had been used. 

“No, Totin said that the servant droids will come to take care of it.” 

I nodded before we began making our way back up the beach. It was quite a long trek back to the palace and by the time we got there, I was completely exhausted. Maul escorted me to the room I had been staying in but stopped once we got to the door. 

“What are you doing?” I asked, clearly confused. 

“I wasn’t sure how you were going to respond to me showing up like I did. So, a separate room was prepared for me.” He explained. 

“Oh… well, can you have your stuff brought here? It’s a large room… and I would prefer to have you here… with me.” My voice was quiet as I made the request, I was still hurt, but that didn’t mean our whole relationship had to stop. 

“Of course I can.” He said with the faintest of smiles graced his face. 

He followed me in and took in the room. I dropped my shoes by the door since they were covered in sand and Maul slid his off next to mine. Despite how tired I was, I also felt quite gross. Between the salty air and the sand, I felt grimy and really wanted to wash up before climbing into bed. 

“I am going to take a shower… care to join?” I asked, already heading to the bathroom. 

“Of course.” Maul said, following not too far behind me. 

The shower was nice. I was able to get all the grittiness off of my body, and Maul had even begun to give me a light shoulder massage. 

“This feels great, Maul, but I need to get out and get off my feet. It feels like they are going to fall off.” I said, leaning back into him carefully so neither of us would lose our footing and slip. 

He pressed a kiss to my shoulder after dropping his hands from them, “I can continue on the bed if you want me to.” He offered quietly. 

I nodded as I reached over to shut the water off. Then I carefully stepped out and grabbed my towel. Once I was dried off I grabbed the silk robe that was on the hook and put it on. I used the large vanity mirror to make sure it was adjusted correctly over my belly before tying it shut. 

“I’m going to go sit for a bit before getting ready for bed.” I said to Maul, looking at him through the mirror. He nodded as he adjusted his towel around his lower hips. 

“I’ll be out shortly.” He said. 

I nodded and made my way over to the bed. I could the baby moving a lot which was odd considering how late it was. Of course, his sense of time was thrown slightly by travel and being on a new planet with a different rotation time than back home, but I didn’t think it would cause him to be this off. By this time of night, he has usually settled down. I sat down with a sigh, glad to be off my feet. Then I laid back and put my hands on top of my belly. 

“Ik'aad, why are you so active, hm? Do you have any idea how late it is?” 

He seemed to move even more in response to my voice, which I took as him telling me no, he didn’t know how late it was. 

“Well, it’s past midnight. You should be settled down for the evening.” 

I got a kick in response. 

“It doesn’t matter that we are on a small vacation, your buir would like to get some rest without you moving around like that in there.” 

“Are you getting onto the baby for being too active?” Maul asked, leaning against the open doorway to the bathroom. 

“Yes, I am. Come here. Feel how active he is!” I said, tilting my head to the side to look at him from the side of my belly. 

Maul pushed himself off the doorframe and walked over. I was still lying down on the bed with my legs hanging off from where I sat down originally. Once he was close enough I straightened back up from where I had leaned to the side to watch him walk over. Maul stood between my legs and put his hands on my stomach. 

“Wow…” He said after a moment, “What’s got him so riled up?” Maul asked with a small laugh. 

“I don’t know… I hope it’s not like fetal stress or anything… I know that can cause a sudden increase in movements…” 

“It’s not that, dear. If something was wrong the medical droids would have told you and wouldn’t have cleared you to go on the trip.” Maul said and I nodded, knowing he was probably right, “Maybe he can just tell that you’re happier than you were a day ago…” Maul suggested. 

“Perhaps. Or maybe he just knows you’re back and he’s excited to have both his parents back together.” 

“That would make two of us.” Maul said. 

I shook my head, “Three.” I corrected him, causing him to smile softly. 

“Would you like me to continue your massage?” He asked. 

“Raincheck? We have a lot to do tomorrow and the following days. I know I’ll need one in the coming days.” I said. 

Maul nodded, “Of course, dear. Anything you need in the next few days, please don’t hesitate to speak up. I know you’re going to be super involved with everything, so anything I can do to make your life easier, let me know.” 

“Okay, well you can start by helping me up and changing to go to sleep.” I said, holding my hand up to him. 

He carefully helped me sit up before walking over to the wardrobe that my clothes had been put into. He found one of his tunics that I had brought to sleep in as well as a pair of sweatpants that the servant droids had unpacked from his stuff while we showered. He brought them over to where I was still sitting. Once I was standing, he undid my robe and gently pulled it off my arms before tossing it on the bed. Then he slipped the tunic over my head and pulled it down over my belly, running his hands over it to smooth out the fabric. He quickly changed into his sweatpants before collecting his towel and my robe, but before he walked them back to the bathroom, he pressed a kiss to my forehead with the promise that he would be right back. 

While he was gone, I climbed into bed and got situated under the plush comforter. When he returned he shut off the lights and pulled the curtains closed that would shine too much sunlight into the room come morning. Then, he climbed in beside me. I turned to face him. There were a few beats of silence as I just took in his features, softly lit up by the full moons. 

“Thank you, for coming.” I whispered. 

“Of course, dear. I promise to never abandon you ever again, okay?” He said, finding my hand under the covers and giving it a squeeze. 

I nodded, “Please don’t.” I whispered as I scooted closer to snuggle up against him. 

He held me close as we both fell asleep fairly quickly knowing we had a big day ahead of us.

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[word-scribbless]

Oh baby part 8

Wooo this one has been in the works for a while! Sorry for the delay life has been very busy! @leroyjethrogibbsgirl and I are very excited for this chapter and the next (this one had to be cut off because it was getting super long so part 9 will pick up right where this one leaves off). We also have a little extra thing in the works we’re excited about!

We’re also very excited about a new character introduced in this chapter!

Side note this chapter and the next deal with some PTSD and anxiety so if that’s a trigger just be warned.

Masterlist

————————

The 3 months after Jethro and the girls were reunited were not the easiest. Both Gibbs and his little girl were having nightmares and Y/N was trying her best to pretend she wasn’t having panic attacks every morning when Gibbs left.

While difficult, it was also a very snuggle and love filled 3 months. Their little family did anything the could together. They would snuggle every night before bed, spend days off together (like usual) but they didn’t take a single second for granted.

“Hey you” Y/N greeted.

“Morning” Gibbs smiled and kissed her while scooping Amelia up off the counter.

“Making breakfast together?” Y/N asked as she smiled at the stack of pancakes. “Pancakes on a weekday?” She questioned with a smile

“Yeah, we were up. Figured we’d spend our time making momma’s favorite.”

“Momma loves CAKES! Wiff chippies” Amelia shouted as she moved to hug her mom.

Y/N couldn’t help but smile at her little girl and her husband, but something in her gut told her the reason they’d been up was because they were woken up by their nightmares.

“Rough night?” Y/N whispered to Gibbs when Amelia was distracted.

“Mhm, easier for both of us to just get up.” He said and Y/N frowned.

“Please wake me up next time? She can nap and I only have 1 class this semester, you are our super hero you need sleep!”

“I know” he smiled “just needed some time with her.”

Y/N understood, and wished she would wake up when Gibbs had nightmares, because he’d never wake her up. However her own daily panic attacks took so much out of her, she slept like a rock.

“Just wish you’d let me be there for you too.”

“Ya need your sleep”

“I need to know that you’re okay.”

He just nodded and kissed her head. Truly none of them were okay, but Y/N and Gibbs knew that together they’d get there eventually.

It was quickly approaching Amelia’s 2nd birthday and they were all using that to distract them. It probably wasn’t the best idea but both Gibbs and Y/N knew if they focused on their little girl then they’d be alright.

PTSD however, doesn’t care that it’s a few days from your daughters birthday. The Gibbs family found that out one night when Y/N came home from dropping Amelia off so she and Jethro could get party supplies for the weekend. Y/N walked into the house and noticed a side table flipped, and a vase broken. A few boxes were off the shelves and maganizes off the coffee table. Y/N automatically reached for her phone to call Gibbs and panic set in when his phone rang on the couch.

She stalked slowly to the basement where she head sobs. She ran down the stairs to find her husband curled up on the floor crying with two crumpled up papers in his hand.

“Baby, hey” she cooed and kneeled next to him. She winced when he shrunk away and pulled his hand away from hers.

“Jethro, hey” she tried again. “It’s just me can- can I help?”

She heard him sniffle but he didn’t move.

“Okay I- I’m just going to sit right here. if and when you’re ready I’ll be here. If you want me to go just tap my hand once.” She said, trying to keep her voice even. She wasn’t new to panic attacks at all of course.

She knew that with Gibbs and his PTSD from everything in his life, this was most likely an episode. He usually hid them from her, much like she did with her panic. After this, she knew that they would have to try harder to talk about it.

She waited for him to tap her hand to ask her to leave, she knew how much being alone helps him process. Much to her surprise, when she did feel him touch her hand it wasn’t a tap, it was him sliding his fingers through hers.

“Can I hold you?” She whispered after a few minutes of holding his hand.

He nodded slightly and she wasted no pulling him into her chest.

“I-I-I” he stammered.

“Shhhh” she assured as she stroked his hair. “We can talk in a minute baby, just breath. Can I see what you have?” She asked pointing to the crumpled papers. He nodded and tried to smooth them out a bit before holding them out to her.

She gasped as she saw what they were. It was a stack of letters, half from her that she had written from the safe house a few months ago and half from Shannon, that she had written from protective custody before they were killed.

Tears came to her eyes as she realized just how much it hurt him when they had to go away.

“Aw baby” she said as she kissed his head.

“We’re here, we’re safe. I’m so sorry you had to go through this again.”

“I- I found the letters and thought about how I lost them and I almost lost you and Amelia and I- I can’t lose you.” He cried into her chest. “I just- god it hurt all over again reading these”

“I know, I know” she said, tears falling slowly.

“Has this been happening a lot?” She asked him after about 20 minutes of just holding him.

“Not this bad” he admitted.

“I um- my panic has been bad too. I have been thinking about seeing some one, think maybe you should too.”

“Y/N-“ he started to argue.

“I’m not asking you to spill your guts, just try it?”

He nodded and took a deep breath “I’ll think about it.” He said and she knew that was the most she’d get for now.

Later that night as they were wrapping Amelia’s presents Gibbs finally remembered what she had said about her own panic.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were panicking again?” He asked, wrapping his arms around her from behind.

She leaned back into him and sighed. “I just was hoping it’d go away”

He nodded, getting that more then she knew.

“You gonna get help?” He murmured.

“I actually made an appointment yesterday, thinking about going back on meds.” She had been on them back when Ryan had first died but slowly cut back.

He nodded.

“Had one when I was with meals the other day... I- I- have to be okay for her.” She said and snuggled further into his grip.

He nodded and marveled at how strong and fearless his wife was. She would do anything for their little girl and he wouldn’t even go talk to someone after breaking down. He couldn’t, he just had to keep going. He thought if he was ‘strong’ enough he’d be able to fix them all, even though he knew Y/N would tell him being ‘strong’ didn’t mean you didn’t need help. He just never knew how to ask for it.

The next day Gibbs went in to work for a few hours, Andi and Josh still had Amelia until her party that night. Y/N had her therapy appointment and had to pick up her new medicine. She had one more stop to make.

She had set up the the perfect gift for not just amelia but her whole family.

She pulled into the drive way a few hours later and smiled to see Gibbs truck already there. He had made Amelia her first “Big Girl Bed” complete with railings on the side that they could remove to sit and read to her or when she didn’t need them anymore, and was planning to put it together in her room that afternoon. She smiled at the new member of their family in the back seat.

“Alright bud, hope dad isn’t too mad at me for this” she said and smiled as her new “son” barked from the back seat.

Y/N knew Gibbs loved dogs and that even if he wouldn’t admit he needed help to any other humans, maybe he’d let a dog help him.

She had contacted a program that trains dogs for people with panic disorder and PTSD. She also knew that a puppy would work wonders for their little girl who still woke up From nightmares every few nights. As soon as she saw this particular pup she knew he was theirs.

She walked into the house with the dog following close behind her.

“Jethro” she yelled and she heard “up here” from Amelia’s room.

“Can you come down real quick?”

“In a minute”

He said and she smiled and patted the dogs head as she heard her husband’s foot steps.

“Uh Y/N” he said when he spotted she wasn’t alone.

“Hi”

“Why do you have a dog”

“Meet Sniper, your new puppy son.” Y/N said as she nodded to sniper to go and see the man.

Gibbs smirked and leaned down to pet the dog who had moved to greet his new owner.

“Hi handsome” he said taking the dog’s head in his hands and scratching his cheeks.

“You got her a dog?” He questioned looking up.

“Got us a dog.”

Gibbs smiled and shook his head.

“You’re crazy” he laughed and kissed the dog’s head.

“So you like him”

“He’s our son now...of course I like him” he laughed and she smiled wide, sitting down next to him.

“Sniper huh?” He asked with a grin.

“Thought you’d like that” y/N smiled and he kissed her head.

“He’s trained for families who have members battling panic and ptsd”

“You did this for me?” He asked and she can tell he is a little apprehensive.

“You’re not the only one I did this for Jethro. He is trained for kids who have been through trauma as well.”

“You here to help us buddy?” He asked and smiled when the dog barked happily.

“Just like how we help each other.” Y/N said.

He smiled and kissed her, “you’re crazy, and incredible.” He laughed and hugged her to him.

“Meals is gonna love you” he said to sniper. “Hope you like hugs.” He continued and laughed as Sniper almost leaned his body weight into him, waiting for a hug.

Yeah, she made the right choice, she thought as she watched her husband with sniper.

It was almost time for Andi to bring Amelia home. They had decorated the whole house, Gibbs had finished her “big girl bed” they had put a big bow on it and Sniper was laying on his own bed next to hers with a big bow on his head.

Y/N opened the door while Gibbs stayed upstairs to keep sniper in his spot.

“Hi baby! Happy party day darling!”

“Hi momma!!!! Where poppa!”

“Well, you get most of your presents from momma and poppa on your actual birthday tomorrow, but you get two surprises from us today! They are in your room with poppa, should we go see?”

“Yeahhhhh” she squealed

“Poppa I home!” She yelled and swung the door open stopping in her tracks.

“Hi baby! Happy almost birthday!”

“Rrruff” sniper barked happily and wagged his tail.

“Amelia wanna come meet sniper?”

She nodded and walked over to her dad and the dog.

“He our doggie?”

“He is baby” Gibbs laughed and she pet him.

“I has a puppy brover?”

“Yup you have a puppy brother and poppa made you something too.”

“A BIG GIRL BED!” She yelled jumping up on it.

“Puppy come on my big girl bed?”

“Sure sweets, sniper can go up.” Y/N said looked at the dog “go ahead” she said and the dog jumped up and started licking Amelia’s face.

“I LUV PIP-ER”

Gibbs laughed at how the little girl said sniper and smiled as he watched Y/N join the love fest.

“Come on gunny” Y/N said as she motioned Gibbs to join them. He shook his head and plopped down on the bed sandwiching sniper and Amelia between him and Y/N. Feeling all the more lucky for the ladies and now gentleman in his life.

————-

Next chapter

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[freakie-deakie]

Lucas // How To: Hurt My Feelings

tumblr only allows 10 images per post so i had to use my transition images sparingly, i hope it doesn’t make the scene changes too awkward. hope you’re all doing well, sending lots of love!

Warnings: there’s nothing too serious, but there’s a mention of toxic family relations and insecurities about friendships

Masterlist

Read Part 2 Here: How To: Kill an Idea

Lucas x Reader (angst // 9.6k words); ft. stepbrother!Johnny

You were a being made up of words. You lived to think words, to write words, to read words, and to speak words. You were jack of all things debate and a master of sounding like a charming smartass. Your words were always chosen carefully, and because of this, your persuasive skills were deadly.

Lucas was a being of action. He moved as his spirit listed, and was often caught indulging in whatever sins his internal chaos prompted him that day. He built the world around him with his own two hands and lived for the sake of creating his own experiences within his own days. He hadn't an interest in the events of the world, nor the stories in it. You don't think he'd ever read a story in his life. Actually, you don't think he'd ever read.

Perhaps that was why the two of you fit together oh-so-well. He was the Yang to your Yin, the left to your right. Your relationship was a perfectly balanced chemical equation. He made a mess, and you cleaned up after him. You were a mess, and he cleaned you up.

Oh, but you can always get messier, can't you?

"Seriously, Y/N? When was the last time you ate?" Lucas folded his arms over his chest and leaned against your doorframe.

"I ate breakfast," you quipped softly, folding your legs up into your rolly chair. You'd been there for almost two days straight, but your project was finally starting to take shape.

"Oh yeah? And what did you eat?" You bit the inside of your cheek, giving him a guilty smile as you twidled your thumbs. "You can't live off of those damn health bars. Christ- Put your shoes on, we're going out."

"Wait, Yukhei, it's okay, I can just-"

"You have ten minutes to get ready before I carry you out of here on my shoulder," he warned before excusing himself to sit in your living room and wait for you.

Groaning, you moved the blanket from your lap and threw on a pair of sweats. You washed your face and brushed out your hair, and with two minutes to spare, you were slipping into your jogging shoes. "Lucas, are you ready?" you asked, stepping out of your bedroom. Oddly enough, he wasn't on that ugly black couch that he loved so much, nor was he in the kitchenette that fit so snuggly in the corner of the room. He wasn't by the window, nor with the plants on your fire escape. You stepped back to check the bathroom. Empty. "Yukhei?" you called out for him again.

Your heart jumped out of your chest at the sudden jolt of your door, followed by three sharp knocks.

"Y/N? I locked myself out..." Breathing out a steadying breath, you placed a hand over your heart. "Y/N?"

"Hang on a second, you big baby." You rolled your eyes and opened the door for him. "I thought you'd been abducted."

"Sorry babe, I had a call. But don't worry, nobody can abduct me when I carry around guns like these," he grinned, flexing his arms.

"I think I liked you better when you were missing." He scoffed. "But you have to promise me to never leave me without any answers. I'd have to hunt you down if you did."

"I'll never leave you, ever," he gleams, throwing an arm over your shoulder and guiding you out the door. You hummed, wrapping an arm around his waist and syncing your steps with his. "Besides, if I ever tried, you'd lock me in your apartment building's basement and I don't really wanna know what else is down there."

"You'd better not try to escape then," you snorted.

You weren't quite sure how you always managed to end up in such ungodly positions, but as long as you were both comfortable, you couldn't complain. However, at the moment, you were very uncomfortable, and the boy laying on top of you was getting an ear-full.

He'd simply barged into your bedroom, saw you laying on your stomach, and decided that you were the most comfortable matress around.

"Lucas, I have to pee."

"Do it, I dare you."

"Lucas, I can't breathe!"

"Then die."

"You are the-"

"Most wonderful person you ever could have hoped to even end up dating? I know. What do you want for dinner tonight? I'm thinking chicken. Thoughts?"

"I'll buy if you get off me," you groaned.

He perked up at that, finally rolling off of you and bouncing over to your closet. "We're gonna match," he said certainly, plucking a black T-shirt and skinny jeans off of their respective hangers and throwing them at you before going back to fish out the jean jacket and belt he'd bought you specifically for occasions such as these.

He rushed you along, ushering you out of your building quickly, excited to go to his favorite marketplace restaurant. Boarding the transit, he took your hand in his much larger one and turned to you to quietly ask if he could spend the night at your place to watch movies and "get frisky," earning a light slap on the wrist which only made him laugh.

You and Lucas were puzzle pieces that fit together. So for the life of you, you couldn't begin to understand why everything seemed to be falling apart.

"I just can't win against you, can I? You have too many debate trophies shoved up your ass!"

"I just-"

"Stop, Y/N. If you won't try to understand my side, we're done here."

"Lucas, I do understand, I just don't agree. And that's okay because we don't have to agree on everything."

"Yeah?" he huffed. "Well on this, we do."

"What do you want me to do? Fly home to (country) and tell my family that their daughter who managed to escape their victimized mindsets and emotional neglect and finally cut ties with them has a boyfriend who wants to meet them? I don't want you to meet them! I don't want you anywhere around them," your composure finally snapped, letting a tear roll down your cheek. You roughly wiped it away with the back of your sleeve.

"Oh, cut the shit, Y/N. You didn't want to introduce me to your 'toxic' best friend either, or your 'overly protective' brother; they turned out to be completely fucking normal. Maybe it's you that's the problem."

"You mean the beautiful best friend, Soomin, that cut me off after I wouldn't give you her number? Oh, and my brother, Johnny, who slept on my couch for a week after meeting you to make sure you weren't staying the night?"

"So I'm the one causing problems? Maybe if you were less insecure-"

"Insecure? Fine, I'll call Soomin and give her your number. And while I'm at it, I'll just ask Johnny to give my number out to all your frat brothers, since that's no big deal."

Lucas slammed his hand down on your island countertop. "Like hell you will. Look, I just want to meet your family. I'm not gonna ask them to move to Korea."

"Lucas, I'm thrilled that your family likes me so much because you're very close with them and that's important to you, but please don't make me contact my family. I don't want them in my life."

He stepped out that night without another word and remained silent for the rest of the week.

You felt like a vase that held flowers but had no water to give them; you were, on your own, too much of some things and not enough of others. Lucas's silent treatment felt like he tipped the scale by hopping off of his side and leaving you to fall.

"Y/N, listen to me," you whispered to yourself as you opened the refrigerator door. "You are a strong, independent woman and your life does not revolve around a boy." You reached for the fruit drawer and pulled out a peach. Fruit was a large part of your diet when you were sad; it was convenient because there was no meal prep. Uni-students like you didn't have time to cook anyways.

A buzzing sound from your counter pulled you from your thoughts. You wiped the peach juice off your chin with your sleeve and put the phone to your ear.

"Y/N? Do you have a minute?"

"Johnny? What's up tree-child?" You hear a soft chuckle over the line.

"Your overgrown boyfriend hasn't left his room since your little fight-"

"Johnny, you know what it was like for me back home. Your mom and my dad- you don't want to go back either, right? You know how bad it was. I shouldn't have to apologise for not wanting to go back."

Johnny sighed loudly over the line. "I'm not saying you have to apologise to him. I'm on your side, but neither of you are trying to fix the situation. So come to our frat, talk, make out, have angry make-up sex; I don't care what floats your boat, just come see him. You're the only person who I know has the ability to convince him to shower."

"See, dearest Johnny, that would mean I would have to shower. And right now, I'm not really feeling up to the task. So if that's all, then I'll be going-"

"Y/N, please? I'll make you dinner, and I'll pay for two- no, three of your textbooks next semester!"

"What do you get out of this, Seo? What bidding of yours will I be doing if I agree?"

"Can't I just reunite one of my best friends with my sister for the- yeah okay, I can't do this. There's a party next week and he's my wingman."

"Goodbye, Johnny."

You didn't know what to expect if you were to text Lucas first. Perhaps he was waiting on you to, or perhaps not, instead opting not to talk to you. However, you were a being of words, and you were desperately trying to sort through all of the Korean vocabulary that you knew in order to find the best words to give to him. You knew he deserved that, the best of you.

Y/N: Hey, can we talk?

You waited and waited, and thought yourself into hours of self torment. Was that text a mistake? Should you not have sent it? Could you have said something better?

After about an hour of stressing over the message and his lack of reply, you manage to pull yourself off of your couch, take yourself into the shower and sulk in its hot, suffocating water and steam.

And then you, naturally, went crawling back to your phone.

"Johnny, is your offer still up? Dinner and textbooks and shit?" Damn your unusually shaky voice, underused in the time you'd spent away from your significant other.

"Y/N? You sound distressed, is everything okay?"

"I don't know how to take care of myself," you admitted without an ounce of emotion in your tone, only growing your stepbrother's concerns. "You know, you're the only person that has checked in on me since our fight? I'm the one in the wrong, and everyone knows it... I need him, I need to apologise."

You hear something clatter over the line. "Now, hold on Y/N. You don't sound like you're thinking straight. I'm all for you guys patching things up, but not to get back into our good graces."

"Johnny, I'm alone. He's the only person that's ever made an effort to distract me from that."

"Hey, wait, you aren't alone. You have all of us. We're all here whenever you need us, not just him."

"John, I'm either your sister or his girlfriend. The guys in your frat don't want to be friends with me, and that's okay. But I want to hang on to what I've got so I'm coming over to fix-"

Your brother cuts you off with a groan. You don't see it, but he sets his afternoon bowl of cereal to the side and runs his hand through his hair. "Hang on a damn minute. I'll be to your apartment in ten minutes. Please, stay there."

"But John-"

"Stay there."

He cursed as soon as he hung up the call, finally noticing the stares he'd been receiving from the others in the kitchen. They'd watched you slowly unravel his composure until he was rushing to pour the rest of his precious Captain Crunch down the garbage disposal. All for his endearing concern for his stepsister.

"Who was that?" his closest friend, a broad shouldered boy by the name of Jaehyun asked.

Johnny paused, looking back at his friends. "My sister doesn't sound like she's feeling very well. She's pretty torn up about- well, you know."

"Can we help? I haven't seen Y/N in ages," Haechan commented, thinking back to the last time he'd had a chance to hang out with you. It must've been the night you joined them for a Smash competition. He remembered that you were really bad at it- or rather, not as experienced as his fraternity brothers who maybe spent a little too much time practicing.

"I honestly don't really know what's going on, so maybe it's best if I go alone."

Haechan and Jaehyun share a look. "Can you tell her to drop by to see us sometime?"

"Sure will," he agrees before slipping into his shoes and heading out the door. He was quick to get to the bus stop, knowing it'd be leaving within minutes.

When the doors to the bus opened, he took note of only one person stepping off. A pretty little girl with features that told any onlooker that she was Japanese. Her hair was lighter than his by a few shades, locks of caramel resting gently on her shoulders, the top layers collected in a little white bow and the back of her head which matched the flowy white v-neck she was dressed in; jeans and white tennis shoes paired to match.

She was a figure of beauty and grace. She offered him a small smile which would haunt him in his dreams that night. Had he not had prior engagements, he would have spent more time drinking her in as she walked down the sidewalk in the direction from which he had come. The gleam off of her pearl earrings blinded him momentarily, and suddenly he remembered that he was on a mission: a mission to get to you and remind you of your self worth.

When you cracked your door, an arm poked through, attached to a bag of goodies.

"When's the last time you ate?" Johnny asked, still not pushing his way into your space. "I brought ramen and cookie dough. I figured we could do with a night in."

You opened the door wider and lead him into the living room. It was a mess, to say the least. A nice collage of wrappers and tissues lay across the floor, the occasional soda can making things interesting. The dishes in your sink were stacked as high as they could go, and unopened letters lay strewn across your coffee table. Your home had become a perfect embodiment of how you felt.

"Y/N..." he said, looking around at the state of things.

"I know, I'll clean up later," you answered, tucking yourself back in to your spot on the couch.

"I'll help you tonight," he reassures you, setting the plastic bag on your counter and taking out two styrofoam cups filled with dry noodles.

"You didn't need to come, Johnny." The look in your eyes told him otherwise. Maybe he wasn't the best older brother in the world, but he could tell that you needed someone right now and he'd be damned if he wasn't going to do his best to help you.

"I know," he soothes. "I came for me. You were scaring me with some of the things you said and I needed to make sure that you were okay for my own sanity. Do you want beef or chicken?"

Episodes of Sword Gai play lowly in the background, a low hum of a language that neither of you understood. He helped you pick up around your house and clean up your living space. He helped you make cookies, and he ate his fair share of them. Your brother, your closest companion since you were young, sat with you all night and talked. The weight of your words though, it was heavy on his chest.

"Y/N, we've always only had each other. We practically fled a country together. You know that you and I are the first and last people on this planet, right? I took care of you back in (country) and I'll take care of you here."

You sighed, rubbing your temples. "I was your scared little sister who came chasing after you. You deserved to have your own life and live it the way that you wanted. I followed you to Korea, and once again I'm your burden."

"Y/N, you're not a burden. I'm glad you came to my University. The closer you are, the easier I can protect you."

"You shouldn't have to protect me though. You introduced me to your friends because I couldn't make any on my own. Then I met Lucas, and you helped him get into NCT and now everyone there has to deal with me-"

"Y/N, they aren't 'dealing' with you. They actually like you. Not because they have to, but because you're fun to be around."

"I don't know..." You didn't want to outright complain that you hadn't even received a text from any of the members of NCT since your fight with the Chinese boy. You didn't want to admit how badly if hurt to realize that they were his friends before they were yours. Now, not only was there a hole in your heart from your boyfriend ripping himself away, but also the growing cavity from the quiet abandonment of your friends. And now, your brother who'd done so much for you your whole life had to take care of you once again.

"What're you thinking about?" He watches your gaze flicker from the TV to his eyes and back.

"I'm willing to admit that Lucas was right-"

"I don't think he was. And neither do you. He has to respect that family is a taboo subject for some of us. Hell, he knows that I don't like it whenever he brings it up. You can work things out without taking all the blame for this, which would be outright unjust."

"I shouldn't have been so sensitive though," you respond honestly.

"You know I hate taking sides-"

"You do not, Seo," you giggle. His face visibly brightens at the sound.

"Yeah, your right, I love taking sides. I'm definitely on your side about the argument. But maybe he's thought about it too. Maybe you should let him explain how he feels about it now. And of course, I'll be sure to give you my opinions afterwards."

"I guess," you offer him an unsure smile. "I want him back in my life. I want everyone else back in my life too. I guess losing him and then losing touch with my- your friends made me realize that maybe I'm rather expendable." Your chuckle was dry, barely making it out of your throat.

In Johnny's eyes, not only Lucas, but his friends as well had been the ones lacking; yet somehow, you thought it was your own lacking that had let them slip away. How dare they hurt you like this? How dare they make you feel unworthy of them?

"I've always known," you continued, "that they were his friends- and yours. I guess I should start trying to make friends in class if we don't get this worked out, huh?"

"Maybe you should talk to them about that before you go trying to replace your friend group. But you're gonna work it out. No one's leaving you. You should see how desperate he looks right now, waiting for you to come marching into our house and demand to see him. He's got too much love in that big heart of his and now that he can't shower you in it, he looks like his purpose in life has been taken away."

Johnny was always there to take care of you, and you felt you could never repay him for that. His advice and soothing words were invaluable to you. Your brother's compassion was the most precious thing in the world to you, especially in your moments of need.

Of course you made an attempt to call Lucas before you showed up on the fraternity doorstep, but if you wanted something to change, for once you were going to have to do something yourself. You had to be able to move your own two feet without him.

Your three sharp knocks were answered by the only Thai resident in the household, a slender boy with cropped bangs and sharp features. Ten was quick to pull you inside, wrapping his arms around your torso and resting his head on your shoulder.

"Buddha has sent us an Angel; we're saved!"

"That bad, huh?"

Ten let you out of his bear hug and looked you in the eye with a look of (semi-) mock disgust. "Y/N, it's been fourteen days since he came home crying and he's showered like twice since then. Mark and I have been trying to coax him out of his room for days. Please, you've got to do something!"

"Challenge accepted," you said, smiling at the boy in front of you. He always knew how to make your day a little bit brighter.

Your heart grew heavy when you remembered that his concerns weren't for you. They were for his real friend, and you could appreciate that.

You tried to shove those thoughts down in your chest as you stepped around him and started on the long trek to your boyfriend's room.

The couch at the end of his bed was a sacred place for videogames and movie nights, a large flat screen just in front of it. His desk was often messy and usually your problem to clean. His chair was a space for studying and the occasional newcomer into his room, a comfortable space to be welcomed. The carpet was a place you liked to lay when you began to think that mattresses were just a little bit too mundane; then suddenly, you'd think the most interesting thing in the world was the orange peel texture on the white ceiling. On the nightstand was an alarm clock, a charger, and a picture of you - and in it was a bottle of lotion and a stash of jewelry you'd given him over time. Even his dresser meant something to you. You'd picked it out with him at a flea market and agreed to split the cost because it was just too beautiful to pass up. The bottom drawer was full of your clothes and he always reminded you that the dresser would one day live in a space with the two of you, together.

His room was a box of memories, and his bed held the most prized of them all. It's where you laid and let yourself be vulnerable with Lucas. It's where your lives came together, and your stories intertwined, slipping from your lips and knotting together like your limbs under the ceiling fan. Promises of the future, swears of the past, and a comforting and cozy present.

You didn't think before you opened the door; it was practically an instinct now. It wasn't necessarily a shared space, but it's a space that's always been offered to you. You'd never imagined that there would be a time when you weren't welcomed there.

It caught you off guard, the body underneath his. A petite girl with Carmel colored hair that was stuck to her damp skin. Your boyfriend moved on top of her, rocking back and forth against her body, eyes trained on hers.

You quietly shut the door and slipped back down the hallway. Doyoung, exiting his room, stopped your frantic attempt at escape from the house, taking in your wide eyes and seemingly disorganized composition.

"Y/N? What's wrong? Wh-"

"I'm okay," you swore, stepping around him. "I'm just not feeling well, I'm gonna step out for a bit."

"Oh," he says, watching you scamper down the steps. "We have medicine if you need it."

You didn't answer. Your priority was to get out of the front door as quickly and as quietly as possible, not even sparing a glance at the boys in the living room who had greeted you earlier.

You walked like a woman with a purpose, fast and in a straight line, away from the house. You didn't bother waiting on the bus, instead you walked right past the bus stop and started towards your home where you would let your composure fall.

Lucas moved one of the light colored strands of hair from Yuri's face. He was propped up on an elbow, admiring the beautiful girl in front of him. She was someone he'd know for a while, having been in his Sociology class the year prior. He'd seen her every now and again, met with her, fucked her, and left her in the morning. The girl with almost orange hair who always wore white was illusive to all but him. Wanted was the girl who always wore her graduation gift from her grandmother proudly, a pair of pearl earrings.

Normally, he wouldn't have allowed the sweet Japanese girl to stay with him after sex, cuddled to his chest, her bare skin against his. It hurt him too much to think that she wasn't the one who was supposed to be in his arms, and as a constant reminder he was always burned by the temperature of her skin. She was hot, a fire that lit in his stomach and yet left his heart cold.

Yuri blinked up at him, stirring from her soft slumber. "Is it nighttime?" she yawned out. He nodded and shushed her, rubbing his thumb over the soft skin of her cheek. He brought their lips together for a kiss that felt so wrong yet so right. Part of him didn't want to pull away and crash back down to reality, the other part of him knew that the girl needed to leave while no one was awake, lest his relationship with you be damaged.

He pulled away first, standing to dress himself in the sweats and Tee that he'd discarded some time ago. He helped Yuri sit up then dress herself. He placed a chaste kiss her forehead and lead her to his bedroom door, expecting her to find her own way out of the house. But before the door closed, he locked eyes with the last person he wanted to see him sending off his rendezvous into the night.

Johnny did not hesitate to put his hands on the door (rather loudly) to prevent it from closing.

"What's a girl doing in your room so late, Lucas?"

Lucas tried to meet Johnny's eyes, but he couldn't hold your brother's fierce gaze. "Studying?"

"Oh yeah? How'd you two get so sweaty while you were studying. You must've been cramming pretty hard." Johnny fold his arms over his chest just as the color of pink on Lucas's bed catches his attention. He stared at it for a moment before the shape registered in his mind. "And how did leaving her thong with you help either of you read a fucking textbook?"

At this point, Johnny has a fist full of Lucas's shirt and is backing him against a wall. Lucas tries to remove Johnny's hand, but only gets shoved harder into the hard surface, pictures rattling on both sides of his head, the picture of your joint trip to the fair the year prior falls to the ground and shatters.

Taeyong comes rushing in from his room, roughly awoken by his neighbor's commotion.

"Johnny? Yukhei? It's one in the morning, what the hell is going on?"

The intense gaze between the two doesn't falter for a moment. "Yeah, Yukhei, what the hell is going on?" When he doesn't receive an answer, he lifts him off the wall and pushes him back against in with one harsh movement. "Don't ever talk to my sister again." Johnny releases his shirt and Lucas's eyes widen.

"Y/N-" Lucas breathes out, grabbing for your brother's arm and stumbling over his words. "Please don't tell Y/N."

"Ya know, Lucas, she just recently told me that she felt like no one cared about her. Her friends were yours, and while you were out of her reach, so we're they. How could you leave her with nobody?"

Taeyong gasped at that. He considered you a rather close friend and cherished the bond he had with you. He understood where you were coming from but it still hurt that you would misread his intentions as befriending a friend of a friend.

Lucas pulled harder at Johnny's arm, keeping him in place as he tried to turn away. Taeyong took this as his que to step between the two and separate them.

"Please don't tell her," Lucas tried. "Please, let me be the one to tell her. She deserves that much."

Your phone had been dead for two days and you hadn't bothered to even look for a charger. You focus your energy on your Korean history essays and devote your time to working on your computer.

Little did you know, this was sparking panic at the NCT dorms. No one, not even your brother, had been able to contact you. Finally, Johnny decided that he had to check on you (along with the ever persistent presence of his younger friend, Haechan, who demanded that he be taken to see you), taking the public transit to your apartment on the northwest border of the campus.

His knocking earned a prompt "fuck off" from your living room, so at the very least they were sure you were still alive.

"Y/N, open the damn door." You didn't even bother moving from your cozy place on the couch. "For fuck's sake- do you know how long we've all been trying to contact you. Let me fucking in or I'll break the door down."

"I'd like to see you try," you mumbled before a solid 'thud' sounded from your entrance. "John, what the fuck?"

"I said let me in. I gotta make sure you're okay so don't make this difficult."

"For the love of fuck, I'm fine, go away."

Thud.

"Let me in."

Thud.

"Okay, okay stop! You're gonna make my neighbors hate me."

You threw your door open to be greeted by, not one, but two friendly faces with murderous intentions in their eyes.

"You can't just drop off the fucking radar, you had everyone scared shitless that something had happened to you," Haechan snapped before bringing you into a warm embrace.

"I'm sorry," you sighed, wrapping your arms back around him. It felt nice to be in someone's arms again, even if it wasn't the touch you longed for. "I've just had a hard few days."

Johnny, who had already pushed his way past you, was beginning to calm himself down like a passing storm.

"What happened, Princess?" Haechan tried. You cringed and he shrugged, still holding you to his chest.

"Lucas and a girl-" Your eyes teared up and the words lodged themselves in your throat. "He's cheating on me."

Haechan's eyes widen and he presses your head to his chest rather forcefully so that he could discreetly pass Johnny a look of sheer confusion. It'd been the hot topic as the frat, but as no one had been able to contact you since they'd made the discovery themselves, he assumed no one had been able to tell you yet. "Y/N, Princess, what do you mean?" he spoke slowly, unsure of how he wanted to frame his question.

"I went to," you hiccupped, "went to see him and there," you hiccupped again, "there was a girl," and again, "underneath him." Haechan's grip tightens around you. The look he's giving Johnny now is one that would've scared armies away from battle. The look on his face was nothing in comparison to the emotion written on Johnny's own features. The storm had returned, the haze of anger clouding both his eyes and his judgements.

Johnny moved towards the door much slower than he'd come barging through it. Like a man marching off to war, he kept his eyes straight ahead and left the same way he'd came. "Both of you, stay here." The door slams shut behind him, mimicking the sound of a gunshot.

Haechan keeps you in his embrace for a few minutes, rocking you back and forth after the tensions in his muscles began to dissipate. He shushed you until you stopped crying, urging you to get your breathing back under control.

"I'm so sorry you had to see that," the silver haired boy mumbled into your hair before sperating himself from you. "Come sit down. Let's talk about this for a minute."

"That's okay, Haechan. I appreciate it but-" you sniffle.

"Y/N, this is an important talk we're about to have, okay? Listen to me very carefully, and after we talk this out, I'm going to order food from any place in this district that you want." You shook your head but did nothing to interrupt him. "We all just found out a couple of days ago. That's part of the reason everyone has been trying to reach you. Johnny caught him, but he agreed to let Lucas tell you. But because no one has been able to get to you, those two have been raising hell at the frat. That's why it is very important that we can get in contact with you, do you understand? If we have things we really need to tell you, your phone needs to be on so we can get to you. We were all worried that something really, really bad had happened to you."

"So it's true? I'm not being dramatic? Lucas really..."

Haechan nodded, pulling you down to sit with him on the couch and tuck you under his arm. "But listen, I know it's aweful. Johnny is probably going to put Lucas in his place right now. So you and I are going to stay here for now, and talk and eat dinner, and get out everything that you're feeling right now. And soon, that boy isn't going to mean anything to you because he doesn't deserve to take up your precious time or energy. Okay? Now what do you want to eat?" He rubbed your back, patiently waiting for your answer. He would move at your pace for the rest of the night.

"Where is he?" Mark and Taeyong are quick to intercept Johnny's trail, desperately trying to avoid whatever chaos was sure to ensue this hour.

"Don't you think it's a little early to start throwing punches this evening?" Taeyong tries.

Ten enters from the kitchen, a bowl of cheap ramen in his hands, Lucas trailing behind him, rocking the college boy couture: no shirt and sweatpants. Ten had by no means forgiven him within the short span of two days, especially not when he picked plenty of the recent fights with Johnny which promised a rather annoying thrill of excitement every night, but Ten knew that in the depths of his heart he felt sympathy and compassion for Lucas. As frustrated as he was with the younger boys, he couldn't abandon him when he had so few people left on his side anymore. Who else would take care of him if not Ten?

Lucas stopped in his tracks when he saw Johnny, slowly handing off his bowl to Ten to be sat on the coffee table. There was a feral beast inside Johnny that Lucas could see right now, and he was afraid that any sudden movements would invoke a violent response.

"I thought you'd be gone longer," Lucas admits. He had avoided the living room recently, especially when he knew Johnny would be home.

"I felt suddenly compelled to come right back and have a nice long chat with you."

Lucas tensed, subconsciously preparing to be thrown into a fight at any second.

"Wait, where's Haechan?" Mark ask, noting that the younger boy did not come in with him.

"He's comforting my sister. He's doing what I should be doing. But I trust him to handle her with care. I trust him to take care of her tonight while you and I have that little chat." He eyes Lucas, reading every sign that Lucas's body is posting, watching as he takes in those words and deflates a bit.

"You guys told her?"

"Didn't have to. She walked in on you screwing another girl." The room falls silent until Ten begins to choke on his ramen. Everyone looks at him as he turns away to hide his wide-eyed expression.

"Ten?" Taeyong asks. "Do you know something?"

Ten slowly turns around to face the group. "Do you remember that night when we were sitting here when she came over, and then she went running out the door a few minutes later?"

Taeyong's face falls. "Oh my God. Is that really the last time any of us saw her?"

"Fuck, and we didn't even know she needed help."

"Doyoung said she wasn't feeling well; he tried to stop her."

"That was almost a week ago, though," Ten thinks aloud. Everyone's eyes fall on Lucas, the boy they'd momentarily forgotten. His eyes are glassy, his composure fallen. There's a beat before anyone dares to ask about the elephant in the room. "How many times did it happen?"

Lucas opens and closes his mouth like a fish. "Did she really see? She saw me with Yuri?"

"Lucas, how many times did it happen?" Johnny's shoulders are squared. He steps towards the boy but is stopped my Taeyong's firm grasp on his arm.

"A lot," he admits as the first tear makes its dash for his chin. "A lot more than I should have. A lot more than I ever wanted to." As wet as his entire face was becoming, he dare not move to wipe away the shame. "I love her. Oh my God, I love her and she'll never want to see me again."

Mark looks between his two best friends seeing nothing but desperation and fury - two ample types of passion for you. "Why'd you do it then?" His words were soft. He didn't want to stir the pot anymore, but he wanted to know.

"I don't know. I love her. Why would I do that to her?" Johnny's composure cracks but doesn't break. He doesn't take off his armor. He was still there, at his own frat, in his own living room to challenge his former mate.

"She was the reason you got into this house in the first place. If she didn't care about you, I would have never helped you get in."

"Johnny stop." Taeyong pulls back on Johnny's arm, reigning him in and telling him to stand down.

"Why? That's how she feels. She feels like she's less than you. I think it should be the other way around. She think everyone only cares about her because they care about you. I think she should realize that you wouldn't even be here without her. How do you even have the balls to cheat on her after what she's done for you?"

"I didn't want to!"  Lucas defends.

"Then why did you do it?"

"I don't know! I don't know! I don't know if it was because I was bored, or if I was mad at her one day. I don't know how it started. When I started to see Yuri, it just felt like a small break but then we started to mess around more often. I don't know how it started, but I wish it never had. I never wanted Y/N to have to see that."

In one swift movement, Johnny yanked himself out of Taeyong's grasp and nailed one shot right below Lucas's eye before the other three men in the room jumped in to separate the two as much as the could.

"You wish you hadn't done it because you got caught?"

Lucas holds on to his face but managed to stand up straight. "I wish I hadn't done it because I regret hurting her. It would break my heart to see her with anyone else - I can't imagine how it must've felt for her to see that. So yes, I regret her finding out."

Johnny struggles against the restraint of his friends. "Do you regret doing it? Did you ever question yourself while you were screwing around behind her back?"

Lucas didn't answer, instead he walked away. He gather up the few shards of his dignity that he had left, and locked himself in the first story bathroom for the rest of the night.

Haechan made you put your phone on the charger. He warned you that there would be messages from just about everyone in his frat but that you didn't have to open them all immediately. He stayed up with you that night to help you with both your assignments and your heartache, sending you to bed at a decent time (before two in the morning). He sat in your living room, waiting for any news from the dorms before he went back. He ended up falling asleep on your couch.

When morning came, he was abruptly awoke from a sweet dream by the rattle of the door and three sharp knocks. Annoyed, he pushed himself up and went to check who could possibly be so irritating this early in the morning.

He cracked the door to find a not-so-hot Wong Lucas on the doorstep.

"Haechan?" Lucas asked, sniffling quietly. Haechan shut the door, ready to turn back and resume his slumber on the couch before three more knocks stopped him.

He cracked the door again. "She's sleeping, knock it off."

"Haechanie?" You ask yawning as you wonder to his side. You didn't know that he'd been there all night and came to check the door, not expecting anyone to beat you to it. "Who's at the door?"

"No one, Princess. Go back to sleep."

"Princess?" Lucas questioned, clearly uncomfortable with the younger boy calling you by a pet name.

"Lucas?" Your mind wakes up a bit when you register his voice.

"Y/N," he sighs in relief.

"Haechan," Haechan blurts before shutting the door and promptly turning to you. "Y/N, don't let him in. He's probably here to convince you to take him back and you need to remember what we talked about last night. He made you feel like a small person, don't go crawling back to him-"

"I'm not letting him in, don't worry." You wrap your blanket tighter around yourself. "Why are you still here anyways?"

"I never got the all clear to go home," he mumbled, pulling you back into your bedroom. Three sharp knocks sounded once again at your door. Neither of you moved to answer it, instead you let Haechan lay you down in your bed and tuck you into your comforter before he crawled on top of your covers and dozed back off at the foot of your bed.

Lucas left the flowers and food in front of your door, sending Haechan a text to let him know that they were there (just in case you'd already blocked his number). Pulling his jacked tighter around him, he left the building in search of something to make himself feel better after a night of high emotions.

He found himself at the coffee house down the street from your residence. As he waited on his order, he sat at a booth and pondered ways to get you to, if nothing else, accept his apology. With everything in him, he wanted you back. He wanted to forget the stupid fight, he wanted to forget the other girl - he wanted you. That wasn't fair though, and he knew it. It especially wasn't fair that while you were with him, you felt small compared to him. It wasn't fair that he made you feel like nobody cared about you more than they did him. It wasn't fair that your stepbrother had to be the one to voice your concerns for you; you had never felt comfortable telling Lucas about your deepest insecurities when he was supposed to be the one to get you past them. He was only beginning to realize that he hadn't been there for you the way that you needed him to be - the way that you had been for him.

"Johnny is it true that Y/N thinks we don't like her?" Jungwoo asks, placing himself between both Johnny and Jaehyun on the couch.

Johnny sighed. "She thinks that you guys don't like her, but that you're all too nice to say anything. She thinks that because she's my sister, you guys are forced to spend time with her."

"But I like spending time with her," the younger whines.

"I know," Johnny answers simply. "She just," he inhales through his teeth, "doesn't have a lot of super close relationships. Actually, it was really only me and..." He eyes the staircase. "Can you blame her for having trust issues, though?" he asks rhetorically, more towards himself than anybody else.

"How can we show her we care about her? Like, genuinely?" Jungwoo asks, his simple yet quick thought process spitting out one debacle after another.

"I dunno, Woo. I really don't know. Maybe try to text her more? Maybe check on her every now and again?" Johnny thinks to a moment how much of his private conversation with you he wants to share. He determines that no true friendship deals in lies. "She wanted to apologise to Lucas for the fight they had a few weeks ago. She was willing to be wrong in her principles if it meant she could have that one deep connection back. She said no one had really contacted her since they'd started fighting. She said she felt alone."

Jungwoo's eyes swelled up to the size of saucers. Had he really been so neglectful? Had they all?

"I'm not telling you this to make you feel guilty. She'll never be honest about her emotions, though. She told me that if things didn't work out with Lucas, she would have to start trying to make new friends in class."

"Would she really replace us like that?"

"To her, it's not replacing something if you never really had it."

"She wouldn't even try to talk to us?"

Johnny shook his head. "That's what I'm saying. I wasn't going to tell you that, I don't want you guys to feel bad about it. But if I didn't say something, you'd never know how she felt."

Jaehyun, who'd kept his quiet so far, finally spoke up. "Well I hope she's accepting visitors. We've clearly left her to deal with her problems alone for too long."

"Let's go after breakfast," Johnny suggests, nearly being cut off by the ring of his phone. He excuses himself from the living room to answer it. "Hello? Y/N? What's up? We were just talking about you."

He doesn't see it, but you cringe a little at that. "Uh, hey, are you busy right now? Should I call you back another time?"

As off put as Johnny is by your tone, he doesn't question it. "For my adoring sister? I'm never to busy for you."

You wonder if he was genuinely not doing anything or not. "Really, we can talk later if-"

"Y/N, I'm not doing anything, what's going on?" The line is quiet for a moment. A sickening moment.

"I think I'm gonna transfer back home." Your brother feels his stomach drop. "I've been thinking about it for a while now. I just think it might be the better option for me. I don't know many people here on campus, I struggle to keep up with my Korean classes. I just think it's time I stop following you around like a lost puppy, ya know?" The line goes silent as you wait for his response. "Hello?" You wait. "John?"

"No." His answer is simple and definite.

"What do you mean 'no?'"

"I mean you're not leaving just because you're insecure. You and I both know you're doing wonderfully in your classes this semester. Why would you leave that behind? Because a boy cheated on you? Because you think no one wants to care about you? You're not leaving Korea."

"I wasn't asking. I was just letting you know." Johnny feels his heart break for you.

"On purpose! I care about you on purpose. We all care about you on purpose. Why do you keep trying to take yourself away from us?"

"You shouldn't have to care-"

"You think it's up to you if I care about you or not? That's not your decision. And it's not your decision whether or not the rest of NCT cares for you either. Why are you so hard headed?" Johnny groans loudly into the mic.

"I'm not enough of anything to be cared about."

"Shut up." He promptly hung up and grabbed his jacket.

Your tiny apartment wasn't really made to accommodate many people at once, but the five overgrown boys standing on your doorstep pushed their way into your apartment and made it work.

"Let's take a vote," is the first thing out of your stepbrother's mouth as soon as he crosses the threshold. "All in favor of Y/N transferring say 'aye.'" A silence falls over the boys. "All opposed say no."

"No," Jungwoo is the first to speak.

"No," Jaehyun is quick to follow.

"No," Ten says sternly.

"No," Taeyong adds.

"You have been unanimously voted to keep your ass in Korea and the court rules in favor of putting a bounty on you if you try to escape."

"Wait, wait, wait," you finally get out. "This isn't a democracy; your vote is irrelevant."

"Y/N, why do you want to leave so badly?" Ten asks, crossing his arms and leaning against your island.

"I have to learn to take care of myself. I can't depend on Johnny or Lucas to do that for me anymore."

"Is this really what you think is best for you?" Jaehyun asks, a tinge of guilt in his words.

"I don't know, I guess we'll find out in five weeks when the semester ends in December."

Lucas pressed his palms into his eyes, temporarily making himself see stars. It was cold, a thin layer of snow covering the ground and buildings outside. There was a blanket thrown over his shoulders but it did nothing for the morbid freeze that so deeply effected his mood.

It was midnight when he woke up. Really, he no longer had a desire to eat, and he couldn't make himself sleep anymore lest he grow physically sick. He was left to wallow in his thoughts as he stared out his window, watching the snow fall so peacefully.

"Did I do this?" He asks himself. "She's leaving because of me? Was it me who made her feel so small compared to everyone else? Was it me who made her feel so small compared to Yuri?"

He'd stopped seeing her, his fling. He came to realize that there was a hole in his heart that she could never fill. When he had you, perhaps Yuri was a fun toy to play with on the side. When you were stripped away from him and his sense of comfort was taken from him, he no longer wanted to play with her.

He tried not to contact you. He didn't deserve your time - but he wanted it.

He found himself standing outside of your apartment at one in the morning on a freezing December night. Public transport, if it even ran in this weather, had been closed for the night. There were no students wondering the campus either. He braved the elements alone.

Three sharp knocks. They weren't particularly loud. If you were asleep, he wanted you to remain asleep. But if you weren't, he needed to see you. He wanted to hold you, and kiss you, and love you; he needed to see you. You weren't his toy, you weren't his game - you were his survival, his comfort, his energy, his breath.

"Lucas? What are you wearing? It's snowing out there, are you crazy?"

"Please don't leave."

"Isn't it a little late in the night to be talking about college transfers?"

"Please don't leave me."

You'd seen Lucas cry about a lot of things. For such a physically built man, he was very emotional. He cries when he stubs his toe. He cries when he sees a dead animal on the road. He cries when he laughs to hard. He cries when he's drunk and misses you, no matter how close you might be. He cries over a plethora of movies from sad romcoms to cheesey action movies. Never have you ever seen Lucas sob. He was hysterical and unfiltered, and still in the middle of the hallway.

"Come in, Lucas. It's okay, come in." He steps inside, wiping his runny nose of his sleeve.

"Please don't leave me," he repeats. "I'll be better, I'll do better. I know you deserve so much more than me but please let me be selfish and keep you."

"You'll be better without me," you reassure.

Lucas out himself on his knees in front of you, his hand reaching out unsteadily to hold yours. "Please, Y/N. Please. I'm sorry. God, I'm so sorry. If I could take it all back, I would. I swear I would. I hate myself for ruining what we had."

"It's okay, Lucas." You cradled his head to your waist and shushed him, letting his arms wrap around your legs. "It's okay. I wasn't enough and that's okay. You needed something else, that's okay. I wish I would have know, sure. I wish maybe you would have told me that I wasn't enough, but I understand why you did it."

"No, no, Y/N. No, that's not right at all. You were perfect - too perfect, and I wasn't enough of a man to cherish that. I'm not a man without you. I'm a scared little boy. Y/N, please, I love you."

You shush him and run your fingers through his hair until he calms down a bit.

"Lucas?" You ask softly. He hums in response. "Did we ever break up?" You feel his entire body tighten around you as he tensed. He pressed his face harder against your abdomen and cries harder."I'm not going to end it with you," you sigh, "I can't live on my own, you know that better than anyone. I'm so tired of being alone. I need you too."

"I don't have the words to describe you. I'm trying, but I don't know how to tell you what I feel right now."

"Then don't tell me in words."

"You know, I have really hated your life decisions lately." Johnny quips from the driver's seat. "I hate that you're studying abroad for an entire semester. I detest that you got back with your ex, and I am repulsed by the fact that you're wearing sandals in December. Your decisions just suck."

"But I'm making them," you smile at him. "It's only a few months, I'll be back from Bordeaux before you know it."

"I'm glad you're going to France instead of going home. For a minute there, I thought you'd really gone off the deep end."

"Thank you for talking me down from that."

"I really wouldn't have let you go, you know. I would not be driving you to the airport if I wasn't one hundred percent sure that you're going to France."

"Thank you."

"We're going to miss you, Y/N. All of us, we really are." You thank him and offer a warm smile.

"Are you sure you can take care of Lucas while I'm gone? Without killing him?"

Something serious flashes in Johnny's eyes for a second. "I will never see him the same. I hate that you forgave him. But it's your life, and I support you."

"He and I both had to change a lot over the last couple of months. He had to learn to cherish someone that he so often took for granted. He knows now what he did to me, he's made effort to change and I've forgiven him. I had to learn to cherish the people in my life too. I had to learn how to accept that I'm cared for. No body is perfect, but both of us are trying to be good."

"If you've both changed so much, are you still both the perfect opposites?"

"I don't know. I don't think so. I don't think I'm the same person I was before the fight."

"Oh yeah? What about him?"

"Hardly." Johnny hummed in acknowledgement. "I think maybe, he's the word now. He's an idea, an emotion. It's my turn to be the action. I get to live my life for me, now."

"You've always been strong," Johnny adds, pulling into the airport parking garage. "I'm glad you finally realized it."

"I'll be back in June," you remind. "I'll come back stronger than I've ever been before. I'll be able to do things for myself."

"We'll all be waiting for you. Six months?"

"Six months."

"I can't wait to meet you again in six months."

[ambwimagines]

Pocket Chocolate: Chapter 3, Please See me.

(Flashback)

Boy 1: You want your glasses back little weirdo ? huh ?

Boy 2: Or do you want this stupid little notebook ?

Minhyung: Hey give that back ! (reaching for his notebook)

Boy 1: And if I dont ? (Pushes him back on the ground)

 Suddenly he looks and sees you out of his peripheral 

Minhyung: Or I’ll tell everyone how you wet the bed at his slumber party last weekend.

Everyone: Oooooohhh!!!!

Boy 1: Shut up, mommy said I had too many glasses of milk

Everyone: *Still pointing and laughing at the boy*

Boy 1: Here take your stupid book ! you loser ! (runs off crying)

Mark gets off of the ground and dusts himself off and gets up jogging to meet you half way across the school yard.

Y/N: What?.... was that?

Minhyung: Power...(throws his arm around you as you both walk into the school)

*PRESENT DAY*

Walking into the doors of the facility. A bright sunny day. People scattered all across the lawn and inside the building of the University. Serving their purpose, fulfilling their duties one way or another. You walk through the doors hastily with no time to waste. You we're 30 minutes late for your first class and did not wanna make it 31. Your friends from Accounting 101 we're waiting by the door along with a group of other kids. You ran up to them with a puzzled look on your face. "What's going on ?" You asked the congregation of people. "Apparently ,Mr. Jung is not in today." One of your classmates spoke up calling for your attention. "Why ?" You ask walking over to him. He shrugs his shoulders and walks away. Your friends from the same foreigner exchange program and class Valerie and Erin came over to you.

Erin: Yeah we don't know we just got here and saw the note on the door.

Y/N: Well do you think he's okay ?, what if he got beat up on the way home or mugged or something ?

Erin: The man is 6'4 with a permanent scowl, I don't think anyone wants to mess with that.

Y/N: Yeah, you're right (laughs) but what about our assignment?

Erin: He's not here to give it to us sooo... Not our problem

Y/N: Okay you guys can maybe afford to miss assignments but I can, this is my sixth and final year, I have to write my thesis in less than 3 months, I don't have my FFB project done and-...

Valerie: Shhhh... do you want a repeat of last semester ?

Erin:Oh yeah they took you to the in-house mental institution

Valerie: It is called the Student mental retention center its for students who are stressed out and feel like they are on the edge of a mental break.

Erin: In house...nut house.

Y/N: Guys I get it ! okay I get it. I’m not trying to make a scene I just feel like I won’t succeed and I’m just wasting money

Erin: As dedicated as you are ? You have an A in his class right now.

Y/N: An -A Erin, I have an - A . People who come out of this program and get offers from corporate giants don’t get an -A.

Valerie: You need a break, I need a break, Erin needs a break. We all need a break. Maybe it’s a good thing Mr Jung is not here today. We all just need a little reset before the end of the semester.

Y/N: Maybe you’re right...maybe I do deserve a break

Erin: Yeah you know,...or some Valium

Y/N: Sorry Erin...(Sticks your tongue out at her)

Erin: (nonchalantly flips her off)

Y/N: You know it would be good, I can catch up with my friend, I haven’t seen him in a long while.

Valerie: Friend? Him? When did you see him?

Y/N: I saw him at the convenience store last night, Minhyung.

Valerie: Wait wait. Minhyung as in Lee Minhyung as in Mark Lee ?

Y/N: Yeah that’s him

Valerie: How come you didnt tell me Mark was your best friend ?

Y/N: I didnt know, we spent like 10 years away from each other. I know he always said he wanted to write but I didn’t think it meant he wanted to write songs for a group.

Valerie: Well you know you should have told me as soon as you found out.

Y/N: Everything isn't about you Val

Erin: I tell her that and she just hits me (blocks valeries incoming hand) See ?

(All laughing in unison)

Y/N: Guys let's go have fun today. Let's go make memories.

It was settled you guys decided to enjoy the rest of the day together. Seeing everything this great city you just when to college in had to offer. Hours of goofing off, eating and laughter had passed you by and you end up on the second floor of a store. In the home section. Looking at pillows for your dorm because you brought yours from home and they were getting worn out really fast.

Y/N: What about this black and white one that says vibes and it has fringe on it.

Erin: Nah, too conventional

Y/N: okay....what about this one ? Erin: Seriously are you even trying ?...(laughs) Y/N: It says botong ( 보통) Sleepy, which is usually sleepy, which is a giant mood.

Erin: Okay well you’re botong basic as fuck (laughs)

Y/N: Erin how did we even become friends ? Erin: You got me a C average in  Mr. Jung’s class I had to repay you somehow (loudly sips her iced fruit tea)

Y/N: Ha-ha very funny (rolls her eyes) You know you actually like being around me

Erin: (pats you on the head) Yeah, keep telling yourself that kid. As Valerie snickered at the both of you this guy walked in staring at the three of you. None of you noticed him. But he noticed you guys though. He continued to stare hard as he pretended to scope out a couple of stools and coffee tables across the room. At one point you and the creep even made eye contact. You were staring at him staring right back at you and it didnt even bother him. You turn away shaking your head in disgust. You look up and see Mark walk in and you call out his real name to get his attention.

Y/N: Minhyung ! Mark: Hey Y/N hows it goin ? Y/N: It’s goin, Just lookin for some pillows. Oh these are my friends (gesturing towards the two girls) Erin and Valerie. Erin: (throws up peace sign) Sup (smiles) Valerie: Oh my god I know exactly who you are. I thought the only time I would ever get to see you would be in concert, if I was even that lucky. Mark: I take it you’re a huge fan of NCT Valerie: The biggest, I know all the songs and dance movies and for my birthday. I even got a comforter with the Pixel animation Taeyong teaser photo !!! Erin: All I got were a pack of black socks and some tin foil last year Y/N: (Holds back laughter) Mark: You have some very interesting friends Y/N: They kept me sane these past few years. Mark: I can imagine (snickers)

As you and Mark watch Erin and Valerie argue about Valerie getting her a crappy gift last year because she simply forgot. The strange man in the room went undetected and unnoticed. He got dangerously closer inching closer to your section of the room. Erin: We live together ! you said and I quote (Imitates Valeries voice) “ Hey guys if you want a gift from me just put your name under the date on this tiny pink magnetic calender I just bought, I promise I won’t forget.” Valerie: God Erin, I was busy! Erin: So busy you went to the store and got me socks and tin foil at one in the morning the day before. Valerie: In my defense I had no idea what to get you, you barely talk to anyone about the things you like. They kept on arguing and no one saw the man come on the same aisle as you four. Your back was turned to him and so was Mark’s. Erin was in mid-sentence naming off the things she liked to Valerie and that was when it happened. The man came up behind you and snatched you from the spot you were standing in. Hoisting you into the air about to take you away with him. But your friends quickly charged toward him. Grabbing the closest leg or arm of yours they could get their hand on. They pulled for their life against the abnormally strong perv. Mark grabbed the guys hands which were wrapped around your waist while you were still in the air. he pulled them apart effortlessly fumbling his grip with you. Dropping you on to Mark for him to catch you. Causing the man and your two friends to fall on the floor. Mark Gently pushes you aside walking towards the man slowly as he backs away further and further looking up at Mark. Mark grabs him yoking him up by his collar in the air and then slams him back down on to the ground. The man blunders back up to his feet and runs away.

Erin: Guys Security ! (Whisper-yelling) All four of you crouched down simultaneously behind a white shelf with vases and other decorative glassware. Crab walking and putting a finger over you guys mouths reminding the person next to you to be quiet. You all safely make your way to the other exit at the back of the store and leave. Mark walks you and your friends home walking a few steps behind you three making sure no one else tries to put their hands on you. You walked huddled between your friends in the middle of them. They both rest their heads on your shoulder. You’re holding your wrists and looking back at Mark every once in a while to make sure he’s still there. When he sees you he gives you a small reassurance smile turning up the corners of his mouth. You return a brief smile to him. You arrive at the steps of the dorms still holding hands with Erin and Valerie. They try to go ahead but you gently pull them by their hands which are in yours to get their attention.

Y/N: Guys I’m gonna talk to Minhyng for a bit is that okay ? Erin: Will you be okay ? Y/N?  Erin asks with the concern seeping from her voice. Not to be dramatic but she real life almost lost you today. Only god knows what would have happened if Mark wasn’t there and your friends couldn’t fight him off or weren’t strong enough to pull you back at least. Y/N: I’ll be fine. Promise. Erin and Valerie step down a step and hug you again before the ascend the steps and go to the shared dorm. They were so worried, something told you they were gonna be this way from now on and truth be told. They had every reason to be. You step back down a step and come face to face with Mark. He turns to face north and you both walk the other way.

Mark: Are you okay Y/N ? Y/N: I’ll be fine I’m sure...won’t really trust any other guy except you from now on but, I can live with that. Mark: You know I’ll never let anything happen to you right ? Y/N: Obviously Minhyung, with what you did back there. You know it’s kinda like...it’s kinda like that day that Jack Whitaker was picking on you and you told the entire 3rd grade class he peed on himself at Tommy’s slumber party and he ran away crying (laughing as you talk) Mark: He should have never took my notebook. Y/N: (Laughs) But seriously it’s like you were an entirely different person that day and in the store. What was it ?... Mark: You want the answer ? Y/N:(turns her head to look at Mark and nods yes) Mark: You. Y/N: (Stops walking and looks at Mark wide-eyed) Mark: Yeah that day when I was getting picked on, I was feeling defeated. Then I looked up and I saw you. The day of our 5th grade graduation I was extremely nervous. Then I looked up and I saw you. When I see you I get braver. When I see you I get more strength to carry on and do what needs to be done. And when I wake up and put my feet on the floor. I grab my phone, I go to my pictures, and I look at you. Y/N: Minhyung....That’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. I’m speechless and I don’t know what to say. Minhyung... you’re amazing Mark: You’re ethereal Y/N: (Hugs him tight) Mark:( Hugs her tighter)

*LATER ON THAT NIGHT*

The boys were settling in to go to bed. They were washing up brushing their teeth, and putting on pajamas. Mark is just coming in the door feeling on top of the world. The load is lightened and he felt weightless. He felt like a feather. He closed the door behind him and exhaled with the utmost glee.

Doyoung: (coming out with a towel over his shoulder brushing his teeth) Last one in is the last one to the Showers. You have like 3 or 4 people in front of you. Taeyong is one of them and he likes to take long showers. Mark: Okay Doyoung,hyung  Mark dances to his room sliding and moving his feet rhythmically. Today was a perfect day. Today was the day of all days. Unfortunate were the circumstances that brought it about but for him was an amazing day none the less. Johnny pops up out of nowhere leaning against the door post of his room.

Johnny: I haven’t seen you this happy since the first dance practice for our comeback. Mark: Ha-Ha very funny Johnny Johnny: What’s the occasion? Mark: (takes out his phone looking at a picture of you he made his lock-screen) I took the opportunity to let someone know where my strength truly comes from. Johnny: Oh...where? Mark: It’s a secret Johnny: Well you know a good magician never reveals his secrets Mark: (clicks his teeth and makes finger guns at Johnny) Johnny:( Does the same to mark)

Mark laid back in his bed and stared at the ceiling. It was something he didnt really do unless he was saddened by something. But in this case he was happy. He was ecstatic. But he came to a realization, to let someone know the power you have over them is a gift and a curse. Depending on what they do with the knowledge obtained. How they act, what they think of you, the decisions they make in light of you. It effects you. He silently says to himself while he closes his eyes his one wish, his one prayer. If god never gave him anything or did anything ever again....Just one thing. Just one Mark: I trust Y/N with my heart, please don’t let her break it.

Postscript: If it’s not too much trouble please shoot me a quick message or put a lil’ something in my inbox giving me your honest opinion on this chapter, the series so far or whatever as long as it Pertains to Pocket Chocolate only . I really want to know what I can do to make it a better series and a better reading experience for you all and I won’t know what you want unless you tell me. Some writers think they are above criticism and you should just accept whatever they put up. Not me. Let me know what you might want to be talked about in the next chapter perhaps, if anything, even my writing style. My spelling, my egregious use of slang or the Korean-Romanization of words or mis-use of Korean words. Whatever you feel just slightly keeps you from enjoying my writings the way you want to. Tell me and I’ll fix it, tweak it, whatever I need to do. As always I love you all so very much. Thank you for reading and supporting.  -Kayla

[lavieendonna]

Brushwork || ArtMajor!Calum AU (Chapter 26)

Summary: An Art Major AU where Dallas - third year gawky art student at VCA -  makes a deal with Calum - her cute new neighbour and project partner - and they spend the semester learning that the perfect masterpiece takes a whole lot of brushwork.

Date: 27 October 2018 Requested: lol     Pairing: Calum + Dallas Words: 3.1K Warnings: anxiety-ridden family confrontations FTW!  A/N: so this is like, what, 4 months late? Or something? But it’s nearly over so please bare with me! Thanks to the one or two people who still read this piece of shit. If there’s no one, well, I feel good for posting this just for myself anyway. 

Big Love xo 

Ask | Masterlist | ‘Brushwork’ Spotify Playlist | Next Chapter | ‘Brushwork’ News

Chapter 26: Usually When She Looked at Me I Felt Like I Wanted to Throw Up My Insides and Shrivel Up on The Pavement

I honked the horn of Ashton’s car outside of Belle’s flat, immediately regretting it when I realised that it was heading into the late evening and I would have disturbed family dinners all through the neighbourhood. And I knew I did, too, because Belle lived in that kind of area; the kind on the “classy” side of the bridge hat was one hundred percent better (and cleaner) that the student residence where I lived.

Nevertheless, Belle come out of the house swiftly with a duffle bag slung over her shoulder, pausing only to turn around and lock the front door. She was in leggings and her infamous oversized grey hoodie, UGG boots covering her feet, much like me. I breathed a tiny sigh of relief when I realised I hadn’t under-dressed.

“My housemate is a bitch.” She said to as soon as she slumped down into the car, without so much as a proper greeting, throwing her bag into the backseat behind her and borderline knocking me out in the process.

“What’s she done now?” I asked with a grimace, knowing that Belle never really called Nancy names without a reason.

“She ate my Ben and Jerry’s,” Belle huffed as I got ready to back out of the driveway. “and when I asked her about it, she completely denied it! Like, there’s only two of us in the house; who the fuck else was it going to be?”

I sniggered to myself as I tried to imagine how that conversation would have done down.

“Maybe you have an ice-cream-eating ghost haunting your house.” I teased and belle rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, his name’s Little Jimmy and his favourite is strawberry cheesecake.”

I cackled with laughter while Belle seemed to lighten up a little and chuckled.

“Actually, Nancy’s pretty superstitious. If I tell her that she might freak and move out.”

“That’s just evil.” I laughed. “But if it works, it wouldn’t be a total loss, would it?”

“Hell no!” Belle cheered. “How was the Showcase?” She changed the subject, still giggling. I grimaced at the memory, not really wanting to talk about it but knowing that I was way past hiding it from my sister.

“That bad, huh?” She asked gently, noticing my lack of response. I nodded, trying not to sigh but not really succeeding.

“It… sucked.” I summarised.

“Did you pass the mural, at least?” Belle’s voice sounded hesitantly hopeful, I guessed to try and find the light in the total fiasco that was yesterday’s Showcase. I shrugged, the familiar feeling of defeat settling back into my stomach.

“I think so.” I hummed, following it up with a scoff. “But it doesn’t matter, anyway. Calum painted Polly.”

Belle paused, brows furrowing in confusion at the sentence I’d just spouted at her.

“Wait, what?” She made a face. “What do you mean he painted Polly?”

“You know how our designed were based off of ballerinas?” I reminded her, glancing at her quickly to see her nod slowly.

“The ones who didn’t have faces?” She asked and I nodded this time, continuing to steal glances at her while I drove, silently begging her to put the pieces together on her own so I wouldn’t have to say the words out loud. My chest ached a little as I remembered how humiliated I’d felt when the curtain had dropped.

“Whoa.” Belle let out a disgruntled huff. “That’s… that’s fucked. Why would he do that?”

I huffed this time, more out of frustration than anything. Truth be told, I was still trying to decide if I was still angry about it. Part of me was furious and betrayed and was convinced that Calum had done it to spite me. I’d told him about the strife between Polly and I and by painting Polly on the piece we’d worked so hard over felt like a huge slap in the face.

But the other part of me, the part that still cared about Calum, understood where he was coming from. And he was right, Polly had inspired the whole idea to start with. And he was just trying to help me – even though I didn’t deserve his help after everything I’d done.

“He didn’t have much of a choice.” I settled for saying, though I couldn’t tell if the words were a lie or not. They didn’t feel like one. “After our fight the day after the date I ghosted. I didn’t want to face him so he had to finish the mural on his own. I think he was one of the only ones talking to Polly at the time, too, so…” I ended my shitty assumption with another shrug, and Isabelle just nodded slowly. I guessed what I said was fair if even she agreed with it.

We were quiet for almost the rest of the drive, except for the low hum of the radio, as I navigated my way through the inner-city suburbs and headed east towards our mother’s place. I could feel the air grow more and more tense as we both pondered what was to come when we arrived.

“Are you ready? To face her?” Belle was the first to break the silence. I grimace and gave a small, one-shouldered shrug.

“I guess.” I mumbled, but then I scoffed and retracted the statement. “Well, no, I’m not. But we’re kind of past being ready for it aren’t we?”

Belle just murmured her agreement, and when I stole a quick glance at her from the corner of my eye, she looked scared. Terrified, even. The car rolled to a stop at a red light and I took the chance to take her hand and squeeze it quickly.

“You’re going to be fine, you know that right?” I told her with a small encouraging smile. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

Belle snorted rather unattractively.

“Uh, she’ll probably bludgeon me to death with an antique vase and force you to help bury my body and keep it a secret until she eventually dies of a heart attack which would mean you’d have to come clean years and years later and you’ll get arrested for being an accessory to murder and get taken away from your family to spend the rest of your life in prison and you’ll never get to see your kids so you’ll die in your cell from a broken heart – and that’s just for dropping law school!”

Belle was wailing, but we were both laughing anyway.

“We’re going to be fine!” I told her again as Mum’s street came into view. “She’s our mum. Shehas to love us – no matter what.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure.” Belle huffed, but she’d gotten some colour back in her cheeks so I knew she believed me – even if it was just a little bit.

I wished I could pinpoint the exact moment Belle and I had switched roles in our relationship. It was a weird feeling, being the “level-headed” one for once. I felt kind of useful as opposed to useless for the first time in what felt like an eternity – and while it did feel a quite nice, I was difficult to get used to.

It was dark by the time I shut off the car in Mum’s driveway. Belle and I made no move to get out, either, both of us too scared to even breath. I swallowed, a lump already forming in my throat.  

“We’re, uh. We’re gonna be fine.” I said, though based on the pitch of my voice and how many octaves it jumped I was more so trying to tell myself than my sister. Belle looked at me carefully, fear in her eyes but her face as composed as she could.

“We’re going to get skinned alive, aren’t we?” She asked monotonously and, frankly, it was almost as terrifying as what we were about to walk ourselves into.

“Uh-huh.” Was all I could muster.

I’d never heard my heart beating so loud as it was in my ears in that short walk from the car to the front door of the house. It was pounding in my chest so hard I thought it was about to rip through my ribs and leave a gaping hole for the rest of my organs to fall right out behind it. Belle’s arm brushed up against mine and even though it was just for a second, I could still feel her trembling from the inside out.

“Mum?” I called into the house as my sister and I opened the door and stepped carefully inside. Almost all of the lights were on inside, and despite the lukewarm weather outside, the heater was running, too, with music was trickling through the spaces from somewhere within. This was normal, which was always a good sign with my mother. But the red flag that made my stomach churn even more was that she didn’t respond the second we walked into the house like she usually did.

“Hello?” Belle tried this time. No answer. We shared an incredulous look before we dumped our bags in the front room and started to wander further into the house. The dining room was empty as well as the living room, and she wasn’t in her bedroom – though neither of us expected her to be.

Just when I was about to suggest we check the sun room (where Mum often went to read and pretend she wasn’t journaling while she journaled), Belle stopped in the doorway of the kitchen and shifted on her feet uncomfortably.

“Hey, mum…” She said sheepishly into the room and I sidled up behind her with a tiny, apologetic wave.

“Hi.” I did much the same and, much like vampires – albeit very awkward vampires –  we waited in the doorway until Mum decided to invite us further inside.

She was cooking, which was odd. Not that she never cooked for herself, she just seemed to be very into it tonight. Her long dark hair was swept back into a high ponytail that was somehow both messy and elegant at the same time, and she was actually wearing her black metal framed glasses for once. She was wearing a snug black t-shirt and a pair of red flannel pyjama pants, under a red apron that was splattered with flour and various liquids, but her face was still flawless with a killer red lip and hoop earrings. She was scowling, naturally, paused in the middle of the kitchen with a wooden spoon in one hand and the other resting on her hip.

“I didn’t realise you two remembered where I lived.” She deadpanned and usually this was the moment where her eyes would flash wickedly and her nostrils would flare, but tonight she just looked sad and my heart broke a little bit.

“Mum, don’t.” Belle pleaded in a voice no louder than a whisper. She had all but surrendered already and Mum had only spoken one sentence to us – collectively.

“Don’t, what?” Mum challenged, but her voice wasn’t much better. “Be hurt?”

“Please, Mum.” I stepped forward a little, trying as hard as I could to will the tremble in my bottom lip to go away. “Let us make this right.”

“Why?” Mum still fought. “How do I know you two won’t blow me off again?”

“We won’t.” Belle said, a slow and quiet tear trekking down her cheek already. “Mum… Mum, I need you.”

For a moment I really thought Mum was about to kick us out. She was deadly silent for what felt like an eternity, just staring at us – or maybe she was staring through us. Whichever it was, it was uncomfortable and unfamiliar. Mum scrutinising me with words and disappointment was one thing and I’d endured through that more times than I liked to admit. But her scrutinising me with silence and unreadable eyes was probably going to give me PTSD.

Mum gave a small gesture with her wooden spoon to the barstools on the other side of the island counter, and as if we were seven years old again we obeyed. We sat carefully, Mum taking a minute to turn down whatever was cooking and wipe the bit of flour off of her face before she turned back to us with crossed arms, leaning against the opposite counter.

“Is this the part where you tell me you dropped out of law school?” She asked very matter-of-factly. Belle and I stared at her wide-eyed and stunned. How did she even find out about that? She used to tell us all the time that mothers knew everything, but I thought it was just some ridiculous old wives’ tale mums told their kids to scare them into behaving.

“You knew?” I asked her in a squeaky voice, and her dark eyebrows rose at me.

“You knew?” She threw back. “You knew about your sister and didn’t tell me?”

“I –” I didn’t even know how to respond so I sat there gaping like a fish, desperately looking to Belle with hope that maybe she’d thought this through and knew what to say.

“Don’t be mad!” Isabelle begged, sniffing carefully and it was clear it was taking everything she had to keep herself together. Mum blinked at her a little patronisingly.

“Oh, I’m sorry, you don’t want me to be mad about you quitting school and not telling me about it?” She hissed and Belle shook her head, taking a deep breath. “Or is it that you don’t want me to be mad that you chose to conspire with your sister against me?”

Belle’s head fell and her shoulders shook and I was wondering if this was how she pictured this going or if it wasn’t going the way she planned at all.

“We weren’t conspiring, Mum.” I said, not loudly and not aggressively, but firmly enough that Mum’s new furious glare was directed at me instead of my mess of a sister. “We were just scared.”

For the first time since the day after our dad’s funeral, Belle and I watched as Mum’s bottom lip quivered like she might cry. She looked away from us, her brain clearly running a million miles an hour. But when she looked back, she just looked hurt and it made me feel like I’d just kicked a puppy.

“I don’t know where you two got the idea that I’m so terrifying,” She said so quietly that I almost missed it. “But it’s doing my head in, I hope you know that.”

She wiped a single tear, and even though it didn’t smudge her makeup even in the slightest, I knew for sure that Belle and I had fucked up. Mum had always made a point of not crying in front of us, especially when we were kids – even beforeour Dad had died. The fact that she was now, even just that one tear, that meant we’d reached the point of no return. She would always hold this with her – even if we did somehow manage to fix this.  

“We’re not scared ofyou, Ma!” Belle sobbed in a trembling voice while she dabbed at her eyes with a stray tissue she appeared to have found in her pocket. My eyes prickled with the oncoming tears, my chest tightening as I listened to Belle’s near-hyperventilating. “We were scared of disappointingyou. You invest everything you have into us, you worked your way here for us! Do you know how hard it is for us to try and prove that we’re worth that much?! How hard it is to make sure we don’t fuck this up for you? All we ever want is to make you proud and with Dad gone it’s like we have to work twice as hard.”

I didn’t think Belle intended to bring our father into this conversation, but the second it slipped out it was done and the three of us were all crying. Belle was the only one sobbing hysterically –  Mum and I just let the waterworks happen quietly on our cheeks, but we cried. And the more I thought about it, the more I realised that this was probably one of the first times all three of us had cried all at once.

Slowly Mum made her way over to where we sat, abandoning her wooden spoon in the sink and reaching over the counter to wipe at Belle’s cheeks with her thumbs. She didn’t say much for a while and just offered Belle a clean tissue – which, to be honest, I missed where exactly she pulled it from – and she did her best to clean her face. When Mum’s eyes turned to me I just looked down and did my best to wrangle with the stabbing guilt in my gut.

“You girls…” Mum sniffled, and Belle and I stole a quick glance at her. “You’re all I have left. I took what your father left us and tried to build something great... but you’re it. You’re all that matters. You’re all I need.And… and I never, ever wanted you to feel like you weren’t up to par.”

I wiped at my dripping nose on the back of my sleeve ungracefully as I felt myself fall into a shudder of sobs much like Belle had before. Mum sidled over to stand in front of me and reached over to wipe at my cheeks this time. She pulled my face up so she could look me right in the eyes and although my tears blurred my vision almost completely, I could tell that Mum’s eyes were urgent and purposeful.

“You are enough.” She told me carefully and I really thought I might burst at the words. “You’ve always been enough. Both of you.”

She came out from behind the counter and Belle and I practically jumped off of our chairs so that the three of us could envelope ourselves into the most awkward but warm group hug I’d ever experienced in my life.

Belle was still shaking between Mum and I but somehow, I knew that even though we hadn’t mentioned her biggest secret yet, this moment with Mum was enough for her for now. I could feel it, the same way I could feel it was enough for me, too.

Mum kissed us on our faces and temples a million times each before she pulled back to look at us both the way I imagined her looking at us when we were kids. Usually when she looked at me I felt like I wanted to throw up my insides and shrivel up on the pavement, but not this time. This time I just wanted her to squeeze me so hard that I might pop.

“Alright, enough tears.” She said decidedly, wiping her own eyes and walking powerfully back into the kitchen as if this heartfelt moment was just another moment to pass. “Set the table for dinner, will you?”  

[userlando]

Hate To See You Go (Grayson)

Summary: Based off of this ask. You’re a teacher at Grayson’s daughter’s kindergarten and it’s Mother’s Day. Word Count: 4,463 Warnings: Actual daddy!Gray. Daddy kink (if you squint). A/N: I swear, I received this ask 3 weeks ago and it’s still stuck on my mind. So I hope you like this, leave feedback if you want to!! This turned out to be longer than intended, yikes xx

The first time you saw Grayson Dolan was when his daughter, Penelope fell off a swing during recess and scraped her knee. She’d cried as you stroked her hair, pointing at her bloody knee while telling you of how she’d tried to stand up on the swing, her foot slipping in process which had caused her to fall off. It wasn’t that bad. In fact, it was a small scrape but it still made your heart squeeze in your chest when you looked over her tear-stained face, her hand squeezed into a small fist as she rubbed her eye.

You’d taken her to your own classroom, calling her father in the process. His voice had sounded deep and it kind of shocked you for a moment. It had been two months since the term had started and Penelope had been brought to kindergarten by her Aunt Cameron. You’d been so curious as to why her father was never around, but Penelope had explained how her father was working early hours and he never had time to take her to preschool; which, you never frowned over that because there were plenty of parents who worked their butts off, having a relative or even a nanny drop their children off in your classroom.

Penelope’s father seemed distressed as you told him the story of how she’d fallen off her swing, and even though you’d assured him that she was perfectly fine, he still insisted on driving over to see for himself. You didn’t protest, telling him that you were waiting in the classroom.

She had calmed down considerably by the time her father arrived but when the door burst open, the tears started prickling at her eyes. You were too entranced by the human being standing in front of you, dropping down to his knees as he embraced his daughter. You had been working as a preschool teacher for almost a year now, so you had seen all kinds of parents. But this man, he looked like he’d walked straight out of Vogue.

Penelope was a beautiful child, green eyes round and big, eyelashes that went on for miles and she had chubby, cute cheeks with her black hair framing her face perfectly. Her dad, on the other hand, he was out of this world with the smoldering eyes, pink lips and the perfect cupid’s bow and the light hair that stuck out the sides of his face, his cap shoved over his hair backwards. He looked younger than you’d expected and you couldn’t stop staring at the bulging of his arms as he hugged his daughter, smiling gently as he nodded at whatever she was saying. Then he looked up and you struggled to keep your mouth from dropping open at the sight of his strong jawline; you’d never seen anything like it.

“Hi, I’m sorry I don’t believe we’ve met before.” He said while pushing himself up on his feet, straightening his back as he took a few steps towards you.

He almost towered over you, two heads taller than you were and you suddenly felt small where you stood before him. His pink lips pulled into a soft smile as he looked your face over.

“I’m Grayson, Penny’s dad.” He said and it took a few seconds for your brain to register his hand that had been stuck out in front of you. You took it, trying not to think of how it dwarfed yours.

And that’s how your interest had sparked and come to life. Grayson would often pick up Penny, giving you a smile and a greeting at first. Then it became small conversations and suddenly he started dropping her off too. It was bizarre, but the conversations you held with him became your favorite part of the day. You often found yourself waiting for the day to end, just so you could catch a glimpse of the young, hot father. It was kind of wrong, you knew it was wrong to think and feel the way you did, but you couldn’t help it.

Grayson was something else. You had dated a few guys, but they’d all been a disaster so you had given up quickly, opting to place your energy on your work and creating a bond with each child in your class.

A few months passed, and it was May. It was Mother’s day, so you figured that you’d spend a fair amount to help the kids in class craft something for their moms. Most of the kids had been dropped off but class wasn’t about to start for another 20 minutes, so you turned around to scribble on the chalkboard to pass the time.

“Miss Y/L/N!” You heard a very familiar voice call for you and your lips broke out into a smile before you could stop yourself. As you turned around, you caught sight of none other than Grayson and Penny by the doorway. It was with a startle that you realized that the man’s eyes had been checking your lower region out and you held back a blush, clearing your throat. Your eyes met and you smiled shyly, watching as he leaned towards the small girl to whisper in her ear. Only then did you notice the large bouquet in her struggling arms and you couldn’t hold back the shocked expression on your face as she rushed towards you to hand you the beautiful, colorful flowers.

“For me?” You asked, shock lacing your voice as you grabbed them, studying them before fastening your eyes on the small girl.

She was blushing, her hands gripping each other as she smiled shyly up at you.

“Happy Mother’s day!” She exclaimed and you tried to find your words, glancing between her and her father.

The bouquet was beautiful and fairly large, which it saddened you to think of what you had to tell her. You crouched down, frown evident on your face as you studied the small girl.

“These are absolutely gorgeous,” You began and she smiled brightly at you. “But I’m not allowed to accept gifts from parents.”

Her smile dropped of and she let out a small ‘oh’ before turning on her heel and making her way to the other side of the room to hang up her flowery backpack. You frowned sadly, pushing yourself up on your feet as you watched her take a seat by a table, looking dejectedly at the ground.

“Don’t worry about it, she’ll get over it.” Grayson said from beside you and you glanced at him, having almost forgotten that he was still standing there.

You gazed down at the flowers that you still held on to, fingers coming up to stroke the soft petals, marveling in how gorgeous they looked.

“They’re beautiful.” You said quietly and looked up at Grayson who was watching you.

“Don’t worry about it,” He repeated, smiling. “She just insisted on doing this because, uh, her mother passed away a while ago and she’s been struggling with these kind of days. I guess it just reminds her of how she doesn’t have her mom around anymore.”

You tried not to let shock show on your face at what he was saying. Suddenly, you felt like the most terrible human being in the world at having to turn down a gift like this. Grayson must’ve seen the look on your face because his small smile quickly dropped, turning into something akin to a frown.

“Hey, it’s okay. It’s not your fault that those rules exist, alright?” He said, a little more quietly now as he turned his body towards you.

It was terrible timing, but only then did you notice what he was wearing. His light washed jeans hugged his thick legs in all the right places and the black t-shirt he was wearing made you feel all kinds of things. His hair was flat on his head, looking wild and unruly but in the best way possible and you couldn’t help but admire how good he actually looked.

“I’m gonna put these in a vase.” You said, determined. “I don’t care what the others say.”

He gave a startled laugh, eyes shining in mirth as he watched you move around the table to fish out a vase. You filled it with water and propped it up on your desk, smiling in satisfaction as you studied the bouquet. Penny was watching from her place, lips pulled into a bright smile.

* * *

When summer rolled around and you had taught your last class for the semester, you stood by the doorway and bid everyone goodbye. The children left one by one, some even hugging you goodbye as they waltzed out. Penelope was sitting by her table, head in hands as she looked out the window. You bid the last kid goodbye and proceeded to take a seat next to Penny. In that exact moment, Grayson decided to run through the doorway, wild eyes glancing around the room and he winced when he spotted the two of you.

“Penny, hi baby.” He greeted, smiling apologetically. “I’m sorry I’m late, traffic was an absolute nightmare.”

Penelope crossed her small arms over her chest, looking her father up and down and it almost made you laugh.

“I forgive you.” She said and Grayson sighed in relief. “But only if you buy me ice cream on the way home.”

You couldn’t stop the giggle from escaping your lips, thinking of how bright she really was. Grayson’s mouth dropped open and he narrowed his eyes, laughing.

“You little minx,” He laughed and ruffled her hair, making her squawk. “It’s gonna ruin your appetite.”

“But that’s not for another few hours, daddy.” She pouted and then she turned to you. “We’re gonna have pancakes from IHOP, it’s tradition.”

You glanced at Grayson, trying to hold back your smirk as he blushed. Pancakes for dinner? Penny had expressed her love for it, but you weren’t sure if pancakes were gonna cut it.

“Daddy,” Penelope continued as if she’d just had an epiphany. “Can Miss. Y/LN come too?”

Grayson’s eyes widened and so did you as you watched the both of them. An awkward silence settled over the room as you both watched Grayson struggle to find the right words. He eventually laughed stiffly.

“Pen, Miss. Y/L/N probably has other plans...” He trailed off awkwardly.

You didn’t know what urged you to intervene the way you did. You didn’t know what pushed you to even open your mouth, but the words tumbled off before you could stop yourself.

“I’d love to.”

Grayson’s head flew up so fast that you’d have laughed if it wasn’t for the situation. His mouth opened and closed like a fish gasping for air.

“You do?” Is what he settled on, almost sounding stunned and you smiled.

“Yeah.”

* * *

So when the clock struck seven, you found yourself standing outside the door belonging to the Dolan’s. You hesitated as you stared down at the bottle of wine you had in your grasp, wondering if it was too inappropriate and if you should just chuck it into a nearby bush. But then you realized that even having dinner with a parent and his daughter was inappropriate so you sucked in a breath before forcing your fist to knock on the door.

Sounds came from behind the door, like someone was running and before you could blink, the door had flown open and you were staring down at a black haired girl with a big smile on her face.

“Miss Y/L/N!” She shouted, lunging forward to wrap her tiny arms around your legs. You stared down in wonder, trying to stop feeling awkward.

“I think it’s okay to call me by my name now that we’re not in school anymore.” You said with a laugh and Penny giggled, nodding.

Steps came from behind Penelope and you glanced up, coming face to face with a distressed looking Grayson.

“Pen, what have I told you about running? You could hurt yourself!” He scolded her, worry etched on his perfectly sculptured face.

“I’m sorry, papa.” She said, voice small as she gave him an innocent smile, widening her green eyes.

Oh, she was good. She was real good. Grayson softened at her smile, almost looking like he was scolding himself for being too harsh on her. And then he looked up, as if he was just realizing that you were standing there. You smiled, holding up the bottle of wine.

“I brought some grown up potion.” You said jokingly and Grayson laughed, waving you in.

You pulled off your shoes, placing them against the wall before following the two of them into what looked like the kitchen. It was tidy and spacious, tabletops made of marble which complimented the dark, wooden cabinets. On the tabletops laid ingredients and you stared at them questioningly, wondering what was going on. Grayson must’ve seen your look because he picked up a bag of flour, and you tried not to stare at his arms bulging in that ridiculously well-fitted t-shirt.

“IHOP pancakes sounded kinda dull so we decided that making our own would be more fun.” He explained and Penny clapped her hands excitedly, climbing up onto the barstool. Grayson grinned. “You in?”

“I’m in.” You laughed.

The process was a total mess, it had started out good and you had all been assigned to do different things. But somewhere along the way, Grayson had decided to swipe a blob of batter on your nose, so Penny flicked flour on him. And that had started a world war, which left you in very little pancake batter for the actual cooking. The three of you then decided that it was best to just order in, Penny going to take a bath while Grayson cleaned off. He had come back with a towel and a fresh pair of sweatpants and a sweater of his, telling you to go freshen up while he set up the table. You’d tried not to overthink it as you stood in the bathroom in front of the mirror, body almost swallowed up in his clothes that were too big for you, the scent of detergent and his cologne reaching your nose. As you walked out of the bathroom, Grayson couldn’t stop staring at you and it made you heat up all the way from the tips of your toes to the roots of your hair.

Eventually, Penny dozed off on the couch as you watched Moana on the TV after dinner. Grayson carried her to the bedroom while you stared at the animations of Maui on the screen, entranced by the movie. You faintly heard as Grayson padded into the kitchen, glasses clinking as he moved around before he walked into the living area. The lights were dimmed, but you could clearly see the wine glasses and the bottle in his ridiculously large hands as he walked over to the couch. You couldn’t stop yourself from thinking of how attractive he looked, drinking in his appearence without appearing too obvious.

“I hardly drink, but I think we deserve it after the war that took place in the kitchen.” Grayson said lowly, laughing as he sat down on the couch.

You smiled and watched as he poured you a glass, handing it to you. Your fingers snubbed as you grabbed the glass and your eyes met briefly. With an awkward clear of the throat, you averted your eyes, feeling your cheeks heat up as you stared at the screen oft the television.

“I’m just gonna warn you right now and say that wine never sits well with me.” You said, giggling as you took a sip.

Grayson poured himself a glass and leaned back on the couch, raising his eyebrows in interest as he looked you over. You tried to act casual as you mimicked his movements, bringing your knees up to your chest.

“Sounds like you’re speaking from experience.” He said, wiggling his eyebrows teasingly. “I’m intrigued.”

You let out a small laugh, stretching your leg out to nudge his thigh which made him smile beautifully.

You both watched the movie in silence and eventually, you began to sing along quietly, the wine clearly affecting you as you felt yourself getting braver and more fuzzy inside. You often caught Grayson staring at you as you mouthed the words to whatever song was playing, even giggling whenever something happened.

“You’re such a child.” Grayson laughed quietly when you gasped, feeling genuinely sad when Moana was left alone out in the ocean.

You turned to glare at Gray, albeit a little playfully.

“I am not! It’s just sad, don’t you think? Moana is clearly just trying to protect her people,” You said, nudging his thigh with your foot again. He snorted and grabbed your socked feet, placing them on his thighs like it was nothing. “She can not do that al-”

Whatever you were gonna say vanished from your mind as you stared at his meaty thighs and his hands, touching your feet. He started massaging them slowly and you couldn’t help but let out a small sigh, forgetting completely what you had been discussing. The sigh wasn’t quiet enough because Grayson glanced up, smirking like he knew a secret that you didn’t.

“This is inappropriate...” You whispered, with no real heat behind your words. “I’m your daughters teacher.”

You blinked your eyes open, sleepiness taking over you as you locked eyes with the man sitting in front of you on the couch.

“A hell of a good one, at that.” He said and you blushed, biting down on your lower lip to stop yourself from smiling like a complete dumbass.

He pressed down on a particular spot near your heel and your mouth dropped open slightly, wondering how he was so good at that.

“You’re a good daddy to Penny.” You murmured, almost missing the way he looked up at you with something glinting in his eyes.

Maybe it was the weird, dimmed lights in the livingroom or maybe it was just the wine playing tricks on your eyes. But his own eyes had darkened considerably, eyebrows the perfect arch as he gazed at your face. You almost touched your hair and face self-consciously, feeling nervous that he was looking at you so intently.

“I try.” He said at last, voice low as he stopped pressing his deft fingers against the soles of your feet, opting to let the pads of his fingertips stroke your skin gently. Almost as if he was tracing every ridge and scar on your foot. “Have you always wanted to be a kindergarten teacher?”

There was no real malice behind his words, nor any judgement. So many people would always wrinkle their foreheads and their noses whenever you told them about your profession, almost like it wasn’t even a real job. Some would ask if it was hard, but you found it to be the most rewarding job in the world. One glance at Grayson told you that he was just genuinely curious and it made warmth settle in your stomach. Or maybe it was just the wine. You glanced down at the glass in your hand, thinking that maybe you needed to cut off on it.

“I have, yes.” You nodded, almost getting lost in thought. “I just love helping kids, even if it’s something as easy as using scissors. Just to see the light in their eyes as they’ve accomplished something...”

You trailed off, smiling faintly.

“It warms my heart.” You finished, bringing the rim of the glass to your lips to take a small sip.

Grayson had grown quiet beside you and you looked at him only to find him staring straight back at you. His lips pulled into a smile slowly as if he was deep in thought, shaking his head slightly and averting his eyes with a shy laugh.

“I can see why Penny loves you so much.” He said, voice quiet but loud enough for you to hear. “You’re passionate, I like that.”

You smiled shyly at him and averted your eyes to the screen to finish watching the movie. As the time went, you found yourself snuggled up to Grayson on the couch, his arm resting on the back of the couch, wrapped around your neck with his hand resting on your arm. His heartbeat was slowling lulling you to sleep, but you blinked your eyes open whenever you were about to fall deeper into sleep, determined to stay awake since you had to get home sooner than later. When the credits rolled at the end of the movie, Grayson shifted underneath you which caused you to look up. You almost startled when you realized how close he was, gazing down at you. And just like that, he’d leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to your lips.

You felt something flare inside you, hands coming up to grip his shirt as his other free hand cupped your cheek, stroking the skin as he looked at you. You flushed, feeling exposed under his gaze. Then you realized that he was waiting for your approval so you nodded slowly, eyes falling shut as you saw him leaning forward yet again. This time, when his lips had pressed to your lips, you opted to part them so you could feel and taste more of him, a small sigh escaping your parted lips as you pressed yourself closer to him. His heart was beating fast under your hand and you realized that yours was doing the same, hammering against your chest as you tasted Grayson on your tongue.

The lights flickered from the television, the Netflix homepage appearing but you didn’t let that deter you from kissing Grayson. Without thinking, you slowly brought your shaking leg up to straddle the man beneath you, giving you the height advantage as he tilted his head up to get better access to your lips. He kissed you slowly, heavily with the full intention of making you feel it all the way to the tips of your fingers. The slick sound would’ve made you blush if it wasn’t for the fact that you could feel him hardening against your inner thigh, distracting you momentarily as he bit your lower lip. A small sighing moan escaped your lips as he slid his hands to the top of your ass, squeezing the skin there as he trailed his bruised lips to your jawline, pressing sucking kisses as he trailed down to your throat. He moaned quietly and you could feel heat spreading throughout your whole body at that delicate sound.

“You smell so good,” He murmured against your throat, sucking at a certain spot that made you see stars. “Seeing you in my clothes turned me on so badly.”

So you had been right, he had been staring you down like crazy when you’d walked out of the bathroom wearing his clothes. Your hands slid into his hair, feeling the soft strands between your fingers as you gripped them gently.

“We should stop,” Your voice sounded breathless as you pulled him away from his small assault to your pulsepoint. “Too fast.”

Grayson leaned back, squeezing his eyes as he let a small laugh escape.

“You’re right.” He opened his eyes, much darker now as he looked up at you. “There’s something about you...”

You held your breath as he brought a hand up to brush a strand of hair away from your cheek.

“You make me feel like a teenager all over again.” He smiled, almost in amusement. “It’s refreshing.”

You couldn’t help but giggle, feeling bashful as he stared you down with that gorgeous smile of his. And then you climbed off of him, giving him a small slap on the arm as he made a playful sound of disappointment.

“I can drive you home, just let me text Cameron to watch Penny.” He said and you picked up the glasses from the sofa table, frowning.

“It’s fine, I can take a cab home. You’ve been drinking so I don’t want to put you in harms way.” You said, walking into the kitchen as he followed you with his eyes on his phone as he tapped away.

Grayson snorted, “I drank like two sips, I think we’ll be fine.”

He sounded determined so you didn’t even bother to fight him. He shot off a text to his sister, assuring you that she lived just next door and she’d be over as soon as possible. Then he grabbed his carkeys and walked you out, opening the passenger door and waiting for you to climb in before leaning in and kissing you. It was simple kiss, just lips pressed to lips but it still made you tingle all over as he slowly pulled away and shot off a sexy smile. He stepped back and closed the door, walking around the car and getting into his seat.

The drive to your apartment was silent, but not awkward. His hand was in your lap, fingers playing with yours as he occasionally gave you a quick glance and a smirk, eyes fastening on the road. You couldn’t stop watching him as he drove, thinking that it was just impossible that a thing so simple as driving, was so hot. He made the simplest things look so sexy and it rendered you speechless.

As he pulled up to your apartment complex, you turned to him, watching as he killed the engine.

“Thank you for tonight, it was perfect.” You thanked him quietly, fingers slipping between his as he squeezed your hand.

He glanced up from your intertwined hands to look at you.

“It was my pleasure.” He said, pausing as if to consider something. “Can I call you? I’d love to do this again.”

You let out a breath you didn’t realize you had been holding, lips pulling into a smile as you nodded.

“Of course.” You said, scooting forward to press your lips to his cheek.

You cupped the other side of his cheek to press your lips to his quickly, pulling back and reaching your hand backwards to open the door. And with a quick glance and smile, you climbed out of the car and shut the door. He rolled down the window and you bit down on your lips to hold back a smile, stepping up on the sidewalk. You waved your fingers at him as a goodbye, turning around to walk up to the building.

“I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you leave.” You heard him shout from behind you, loud enough for you to hear.

You laughed, turning briefly to catch the smirk on his lips as he placed his foot on the pedal, driving away.