#ninja queue attack!

[bejeousdoodle]

Finally drew the First Ninja (or Finja for short)

[mrfartpowered]

in perusing old ninjablr art I’ve found that there are three ways to draw howard:

still learning to draw fat ppl

show-accurate. stinky. funnie man <3

MOCHI-LIKE. SO DARLING AND SQUISHY. extra bitchy

[kyri45]

✨SBP: Second Star Q&A! 20/05✨

Welcome to the Q&A! A space where I can answer related or similar question about the Shadowpeach Bio Parents AU Spin Off! If it’s not answered here, worry not! Your asks might have been used for a future comic or just in the queue~

@autism-autobot ha chiesto: Weird 3 AM question for you: Do the stone monkeys have belly buttons? They came from eggs, so they might not but they may have been magically connected to something or someone, so...? Bellybuttons? Sorry if this is weird, my brain has been thrown for a loop lately.

They don't

@fake-anjel ha chiesto: Kyri, I remember you liked to draw Nezha a lot (don't blame you I have a literal list of logical explanations of why he's so drawable) But I've been wanting to ask you, how you think about baby/child Nezha? Since that in the legends he's a child god, Pluss in his old movie he died and stayed in the form of a child so I believe much in the theory that he's stuck in the age of six (when he died and came back to life) forever, both mentally and physically and uses glamour to age up so people take him more seriously I want to know if you also head cannon that theory ? (just pure curiosity)

There's a lot of different version, it's interesting to see that in LMK he's kind of an adult, I like to think he did grow up a little during the millenia, or that his outer appearance reflects his mental age, so in the years he was forced to "grow up" after his father became the pagoda wielder, and so he also reflect the age he must follow to be taken seriously by his father

@elianaroselight ha chiesto: It's wild to think how long Wukong and Macaque had been gestating their little girl. They went into meditation at month 9 and meditated for 11 more. That is 20 months! Almost 2 years!

if you think about it Nezha mother's gestation period was 3 years, so they got even lucky with that.

@straightally2001 ha chiesto: I'm curious, is the baby gonna grow differently than MK. Is she gonna be a toddler longer than MK was?

yes, just a bit longer, not that much.

@the-ninja-girl-in-blue ha chiesto: Are we going to eventually find out what the baby’s name is going to be or is she not gonna have a name at all? I’m not asking for what her name is now I’m asking if we’re going to ever find out what it is or if she’s gonna have one.

yes, at the end of the spin-off

@wintzrr ha chiesto: Dumb quesiton 💔 I forgot where but i read that your gonna make 3 spin-offs of the bio parents au, just by curiously… Is one of them about spicynoodles.. I say with a hidden folder pure spicynoodles fanart from your fanfic. ON MY HANDS AND KNEES I NEED TO KNOW. ALSO I LOVE YOU ART SO MUCH OH MY GAWDD.

no

@writingamongther0ses ha chiesto: Random thought- Pigsy: *opening the shop* *monkey noise* Pigsy: *turns head* Child: *sitting calmly next to the door* Pigsy: "..." Child: "..." Pigsy: "Tannnng...it happened again!"

LMAO

@selfdestructivecat ha chiesto: OMG SHADOW POWERS!!! I’m sure that’s not gonna give the parents any heart attacks lmao I’m curious if this is why Mac’s shadow powers were going haywire while they were feeding the baby their power, while Wukong’s were greatly weakened? And if this was also why Mac seemed to be more drained by the process than Wukong, at least at first?

A little, but mostly because he died once so he's weaker

@twilight-bai-he ha chiesto: I just realized something so you know That MK and Wukong can shrink so Red son and Macaque can have a tiny pocket husband/boyfriend

This is a very important information, thank you for sticking this image in my head.

@michigo-eevee-trainer ha chiesto: For the Bio Parents AU, I do have one question. If MK had used his energy to help the child grow, would that help or hurt the child? I mean I know it needed energy from it's parents in order to grow but MK is their brother. So wouldn't that work too? Though it would drain MK badly as well so maybe it wouldn't be a good thing.

It wouldn't have hurt it, but he would have needed to be part of the ritual as well and having to be connected to them as well during the gestation period.

@lizislife ha chiesto: Will we ever see macaque truly get mad?

maybe

@coolshadowkiller99 ha chiesto: Hey. I have a question. I know a lot of people make Mac and iron fan sworn siblings like wukong n dbk but are yours? Like wine auntie pif? Also I just want to hold bby mk and the shimians and everyone like burgers cause they're so adorable! I love them! I wish they could meet my oc Alix and alis.

yes she's wine aunt

@emptystarhead733 ha chiesto: Yello. I wanted ta ask since I love your art. Would Wukong throw her, for funsies, thinking she'll just teleport back, but when she doesn't Macaque catches her, scolding Wukong for it????

that's more of macaque honestly

@imafluffycupcakey ha chiesto: Will we see the baby all grown up? By the end of the spin-off? Maybe? Pretty please?

nope

@s-p-r-i-n-g-t-i-m-e ha chiesto: what’s the baby’s relationship to Tang and Pigsy exactly? :0 uncles? stepdads? dads in law? brother’s dads? also why are Wukong and Mac so tired, baby seems pretty chill? esp. since she’s already 3ish, only cries when overwhelmed by people. is it the stress of a toddler that can portal around so they always gotta find her? she’s def not as active as baby MK lmao

they are both uncles. Pigsy is also the godfather

@drpepperlover545 ha chiesto: this is a joke question but, will she get free noodles for life?

obviously

@monika-396 ha chiesto: Is Xiaotian gonna cut his hair now that his parents are back and his baby sister is here?

it's funnier if he doesn't

I have two question(I’m sorry if it’s too much😔) 1.)Would the baby be immortal just like her fathers, or they would have to do something to make her immortal? 2.)Is there a chance that you would make another spin-off that would focus on her life? (BTW I LOVE YOUR LATEST CHAPTER🤍🤍)

They aren't 100% immortal like wukong or macaque. They can perfectly become in some way immortal like Wukong did with his 72 transformations, and she does age more slowly by default

@vivian-adhd-core ha chiesto: So iI'm after my final exams (math went bad) and the bby made my absolute day. So I wanted to ask if it's okay that I make an AU of my main Oc being her auntie? (I hc my OC as Macaques younger sister. Also I will draw stuff once I ain't grounded!) Amaizing design, love it, keep up the good job and stay safe! 💖

As long as you tag me

@astro-nomaly ha chiesto: Can I ask why the baby has that weird blank spot in her face marking? She was literally just born so it’s not a scar, so what’s going on there? Ignore me if this is somehow a spoiler lol

birthmark

@keykittygirl ha chiesto: Since you said that ne zha will be in the baby shower, I'm just curious like will he actually gonna get his own clothes changing stuff XD I mean like we have seen how the other characters got a different clothes, meanwhile the poor lotus boyo only have his armor

he mostly wear his armor cause he's able to visit between his work shifts

@astro-lmk-enjoyer ha chiesto: You think DBK picks Red Son up by the scruff of his neck like a mother cat?

sure, why not

@epicloversposts ha chiesto: Hiya! Just a little question about Wukongs and Mk's apparently shared weakness,how would red son react to finding out about Mk's weakness, would red son be flustered or would red son be devious and use it against mk to courtnap him?

i mean they already cournapped the other so- i guess only for teasing him

@autism-autobot ha chiesto: Does Mamacaque get Mother's Day while everyone else has to share Father's Day? How do they do?

he gets both

@neptune-nova ha chiesto: Would you ever make a spicynoodles comic? Just curious lol

unlikely. I have so many other comics I wanna do first.

[a-titty-ninja]

(In case this is lost in queue , im sending this on June 10th)

Out of curiousity , how many episodes are there of the Ninja and Assassin show right now?

And like can you describe what each episode is? Based on gifs and other posts so far theres:

Turing Test passed

I AM TITTY NINJA

Gacha Gambling

Social Media is a curse that we should abandon

and lastly (which may very well be the same as previous)

🎵WHO YOU GONNA CALL?🎵

Also how do things like:

'Dark Skin Ninja wrecks shit'

'Apron cooking and observing from the couch'

'Cat Girl Ninja no :('

'Doc Oc attacks (and misses completely)'

'Spa Day' or

'Just a day at School , and girl doesnt know subtlety' fit in?

Lol Ep 10 will drop tomorrow.

[whxre4hange]

attack on titan characters playing league headcanons

guys im in my final year of my undergrad and i have exams and this is what im doing w my time LMAO

eren (ultimate rage quitter)

eren is the ultimate tryhard. bro mains riven and screams into the group call "i will carry!" he charges into fights like he’s fighting titans, only to get instantly melted. after dying for the fifth time, you can hear him scream into the mike, “i’m not mad, i’m just... passionate! WE GOT THIS GUYS DONT GIVE UP” while furiously typing “ff 15” in chat.

mikasa the overprotective bodyguard

mikasa is the ultimate support, but she’s less about healing and more about throwing daggers at anyone who dares touch eren. if someone tries to gank him, she’ll sprint across the map like a ninja, yelling, “no one touches my eren!” while simultaneously saving him from certain doom… and then getting herself killed in the process.

armin the strategist (and coward)

armin is the brains of the operation, but he spends half the game hiding in a bush, whispering strategies to himself. when he finally decides to engage, he shouts, “guys! let’s flank them!” only for everyone to be dead by the time he finishes his sentence. he’s basically a walking “how not to play” guide.

sasha the snack master

sasha is the adc, but her real focus is on her snack stash. she’s munching on chips while trying to farm minions and will often say things like, “just one more potato chip before i go back!” she ends up feeding because she can’t resist grabbing a snack during team fights. “i’m just… multitasking!”

connie the confused support

connie thinks he’s playing support, but he keeps accidentally stealing kills with his abilities. when everyone yells at him, he responds with a confused, “but i thought we were playing catch!” he’s just trying to help, bless his little heart.

jean's leadership failures

jean wants to be team captain (literally no one cares) and constantly tries to direct everyone like he’s leading a military operation. “okay, guys! we need a five-man engage!” but when eren charges in solo again, jean just facepalms and mutters, “why do i even try?”

marco the cheerleader

marco is the wholesome cheerleader of the group. he’s always encouraging everyone with phrases like, “good job, team! you can do it!” unfortunately, he gets so distracted by his own positivity that he forgets to ward properly and walks straight into a bush full of enemies. “oops! my bad!”

reiner's tanking fail

reiner plays tank but thinks he’s invincible. he charges into fights yelling, “i’m here to save you!” only to get one-shot by an enemy assassin. his teammates are left screaming, “we needed you alive for that!”

ymir's sneaky shenanigans

ymir plays an assassin and loves sneaking around for picks. she’ll shout things like, “i’m going in!” but then accidentally reveals her position by stepping on a ward. when historia asks her what happened, she just shrugs and says, “it was tactical misdirection!”

annie’s solo queue dominance

annie is a solo queue legend who plays mid-lane like it’s her personal arena. she rolls her eyes at her teammates’ antics and mutters things like, “if you all just let me carry…” she has zero patience for anyone who doesn’t understand how to play properly—and she’ll mute them faster than you can say “teamwork.”

bertolt's unexpected support skills

birthcontrol is surprisingly good at support, using his size as an accidental shield for his teammates. when someone asks how he does it, he just says softly, “i’m just… really good at standing still.” and somehow that works....

erwin's confusing speeches

erwin gives motivational speeches before every match that leave everyone more confused than inspired. “remember: victory is not just about winning; it’s about… uh… being brave?” anywyas by the end of it, everyone is just staring blankly at him while eren types in chat: “can we just play already?”

hange's chaotic jungle adventures

hange plays jungle with chaotic energy that keeps everyone on their toes. they dive into fights yelling, “let’s go! science rules!” but often end up accidentally initiating fights they can’t win. then they die spectacularly the end

levi's silent judgment

levi lurks in the background, silently judging everyone while occasionally throwing out sarcastic comments like, “great job feeding.” when asked why he doesn’t play more often, he simply replies with a deadpan stare: "because i don’t want to ruin my kda." and yet somehow still manages to carry every game when he does play

[roses-r-rosie3]

Hiiiiii!!!! :)

Can I request Tomas Vrbada x male reader? They meet at madame bo's, the reader is helping at the restaurant, like cleaning and serving customers in exchange for food. Reader is kinda natural at talking to customers and everyone likes him. Tomas is absolutely smitten, but thinks that since the reader is acting the same with other customers it means nothing, his friends (Johnny) tease him. So his friends and madame bo hatch a plan for the two idiots in love to finally confess

Glue Song

Tomas Vrbada x M!Reader

Warnings: Fluff, slight mentions of nsfw, Romance, Crack-ish

Quote: “Okay so, what if, we bring in some ninja’s and they attack the place and Tomas saves y/n! Like a knight in shining armor!”

✁ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You haven’t seen Radien and Kung Lao in months. You never got to say bye to them because you called out sick the day that they were tested, not knowing that it would be the last time you would have seen them until a while. So when you heard from Madame Bo that Kung Lao and Radien were coming by for dinner you were ecstatic.

What you didn’t expect was that they brought new people with them, a guy with a blindfold on and a movie star that you recognized. But one of those new people stood out to you, a guy with grey hair. He looked so cute, but you had to keep yourself professional because you were at work.

“Hey Raiden! Hey Kung Lao! It’s been so long since I’ve last saw you guys! And I see that you guys brought some guests!” You smiled.

Tomas was lovestruck. Your smile made him feel warm inside. He could stare at into your eyes for hours. He was mesmerized by your looks. He loved everything about you, your face, your glistening eyes, your hair, your hands, god he could just imagine your hands choking him while you-

“What drink can I get for you sir?” You asked.

“Oh- uh- s-sorry can I just get a water” Tomas stuttered.

“Of course” you smiled before leaving.

“Someone has a crush~” Johnny smirked.

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about” Tomas blushed.

“You’re blushing! You totally like him!” Kung Lao laughed.

“Would you stop talking so loud! He could hear you!” Tomas blurted out.

“So you do like him!” Johnny teased.

“Fine! I think he’s cute okay?! Now would you guys please keep it down!” Tomas scolded.

“Ouuuuu Tomas is in loooooooooove~” Johnny smiled.

“What are we? In middle school?” Kenshi scoffed.

“Yeah, let Tomas be, it’s not his fault that he liked y/n” Raiden said.

“Who likes y/n?” Madame Bo said.

“Madame Bo! What are you doing here! We didn’t say anyone liked y/n!” Raiden nervously laughed.

“Don’t play dumb with me. I might be an old lady but I’m not deaf. So it’s either you tell me who likes y/n or else I’m telling him that one of you like him” Madame Bo threatened.

“Fine! Tomas likes him but you can’t say a word to y/n!” Kung Lao confessed.

“He’s just y/n’s type” Madame Bo laughed before leaving.

“Wait Madame Bo! What does that mean!” Tomas called out.

Almost on queue, you showed up at the table with their drinks.

“I’m so sorry for being so late, here’s your drinks” you said as you handed out the drinks.

But as you were handing Tomas his drink, your hands accidentally touched, which caused Tomas started to blush really hard.

“Are you guys ready for me to take your orders?” You asked.

After you got their orders, you walked to the back to give their orders to the chefs before helping other customers.

“Tomas are you okay? You’re really red” Raiden asked.

“What did Madame Bo mean when she said that I was his type?” Tomas asked.

“She means that you’re the type of person that he finds attractive” Kenshi explained.

“I-is it true? Am I really his type?” Smoke blushed.

“Oh sure you are buddy! I’ve known y/n for years!” Kung Lao exclaimed.

Tomas watched as you were handing out all the customer’s plates. You were so kind to all of them, giving them polite smiles, making small talk with them, etc. Maybe Madame Bo and Kung Lao were just teasing him to get his hopes up. You were nice to everyone, what difference did he make?

“Are you sure?” Tomas questioned.

“One hundred percent, even Raiden can back me up” Kung Lao laughed.

“What if we make a plan to get them together!” Johnny exclaimed.

“Okay so, what if, we bring in some ninja’s and they attack the place and Tomas saves y/n! Like a knight in shining armor!” Johnny said.

“That’s a stupid idea” Madame Bo scoffed.

“Madame Bo! You’ve gotta stop doing that!” Raiden said.

“I have a better idea for you kids” Madame Bo smirked.

…

“And you guys said my ninja idea was stupid” Johnny said as he rolled his eyes.

“Are you sure about this Madame Bo?” Tomas asked.

“Yes, now I have to go, he’s coming” Madame Bo said before leaving.

“Sorry for your wait, it’s pretty busy today” you chuckled as you handed out everyone’s food.

When you were done handing out everyone’s food and making sure that everyone got the right food, you immediately started to serve other customers. Your smile, your voice, your eyes, your skin, your hair, everything about was so perfect, so sweet, sweet like honey.

As the night went on, Tomas started to doubt himself more and more. He noticed that you were nice to everyone you served. What if you were just doing your job and he got his hopes too high for nothing? What if-

“Dude, Are you okay? You haven’t even touched your food. You’ve just been staring at y/n the entire time” Raiden said.

“He’s lovestruck! Duh!” Johnny laughed.

“I’m fine” Tomas replied as he started to eat his food.

After everyone was done eating, that’s when the plan was going to be put into action. You walked up to the table to collect their empty plates.

“Can we get a check please?” Tomas asked.

“Oh don’t worry about it, it’s usually on the house when Raiden and Kung Lao are here” you smiled.

“Oh I’m afraid we can’t do that y/n, Kung Lao and Raiden brought 3 extra guests” Madame Bo said as she walked up to the table.

“Oh, okay then, I will bring the check, do you guys wanna pay separately or together?” You asked.

“Oh man! I don’t think any of us brought money” Kenshi said.

“I have an idea! Why don’t one of us help y/n clean and close up the store!” Kung Lao exclaimed.

All Tomas could focus on was your eyes. He could stare at them for hours. But all of a sudden he was snapped back to reality when he felt someone kick his legs.

“I said, why don’t one of us help y/n clean and close up the store” Kung Lao scolded.

“W-what? I mean- yeah! I mean- I will do it” Tomas stuttered.

“Then it’s settled, I can show you where the supplies are right now” you smiled before you started walking.

Tomas was quick to follow you, looking back to see all of his friend’s and Madame Bo cheering him on. Luckily, after you were done showing Tomas the basics of how to clean the place, it was already past closing time. But unluckily for Tomas, he didn’t hear a thing that you were saying just responding with ‘yeah’ and ‘mhm’ while he stared at your eyes.

So when it got to finally cleaning the place, Tomas didn’t know what to do at all. While you were cleaning, you chuckled as you saw Tomas struggling to broom the dust into the dustpan.

“Here let me help you with that” you chuckled as you held him from behind, guiding the broom to the dustpan.

Tomas could feel his face burning up. All of a sudden a romantic song started playing in the speakers of the restaurant. When you finally realized what you were doing and what was playing, you quickly let go.

“I-I um- I’m gonna go turn that off, I don’t even know how it turned on” you stuttered.

When you left to go to the back, Madame Bo, Johnny, and Kung Lao popped out of nowhere.

“What are you guys doing here?! And where is Madame Bo?” Tomas asked

“She had to go home, but don’t worry! We are here to help you!” Raiden exclaimed.

“I don’t need your help! Just go!” Tomas shooed.

“Really? It looks like you do” Kung Lao scoffed

Before everyone knew it, you were walking back, and they all got into their hiding spots, leaving Tomas alone once again.

“You know Tomas, when I was showing you how to clean the place, were you even listening?” You chuckled.

OH NO! HE WAS CAUGHT!!

His first instinct was to get on his knees and start crying for forgiveness. No, that would make him look even more guilty. So he decided to play dumb.

“What do you mean? I was totally listening” Tomas replied.

“Oh really?” You laughed.

You decided to skip that topic, for now. You and Tomas had a blast talking to each other while the two of you cleaned (more like you cleaning and him just looking into your eyes BUT STILL). You two got to know each other, knowing the others favorite hobbies, songs, food, etc.

When the two of you got done cleaning, you put all the things back into the cleaning closet before walking out of the locking up restaurant. Tomas offered to walk you home, and how could you not say yes! The walk to your house was usually boring, but with Tomas there with you, he made you feel like wanting to walk with him forever.

“Thanks for walking me home Tomas, maybe we can do it again sometime” you smiled.

You were about to unlock the door to your house until you felt someone grab your arm.

“Wait y/n, I have something to tell you” Tomas blushed.

“What is it?” You asked.

“I-I like you” Tomas confessed.

You looked at the ground, looking disappointed at first. Did Tomas really just screw up? But suddenly you started laughing. Oh great! Now you’re gonna make fun of him!

“It took you long enough” you laughed before pulling him in for a kiss.

You could tell that Tomas was shocked at first, feeling his jolt of surprise. It didn’t take long before he started kissing you back though. You puts put your hand on the back of his head, and stroked his hair in a reassuring way, calming him down a bit.

When the two of you pulled away from each other, you stared into each other’s eyes. Tomas took his time to think about what just happened, while also trying to savor the taste of your lips. But that’s when something hit Tomas, what did you mean when you said it took him long enough?

“Wait y/n, what do you mean?” Tomas asked.

“What do you mean, what do I mean?” You chuckled.

“When you said it took me long enough” Tomas said.

“Oh, when I was in the back turning off the music, Madame Bo came out of nowhere and told me how you liked me and I just connected the dots from there” you replied.

“Wha-”

“FINALLY THEY ARE TOGETHER” Madame Bo, Johnny, Kenshi, Kung Lao, and Raiden celebrated as they popped out of one of the nearby bushes.

“OH MY GOD! YOU GUYS WERE HERE THE WHOLE TIME?!” You and Tomas both said in synch.

[game-boy-pocket]

Today I beat the NES version of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Arcade Game. I never had this one as a kid but I remember renting it, and I remember my local Round Table Pizza had the arcade cabinet in their little game room area ( a place which is tragically filled with shitty gacha machines, half of which are busted, and sticker dispensers and only one actual game these days ), it was always too hard for me.

Then I learned about the special attack that happens when you press A and then quickly press B. Talk about game changer.

So is the game good? Does it hold up? Idk, depends on your outlook... I mostly just spammed the special attack and then switched to spamming jump kicks for bosses. If that sounds boring to you, then yeah, you may not enjoy it. But I had a decent time with the game. It certainly did a better job of representing the series than the first NES game did... however, I feel like the first NES game is more interesting, the top down segments, the side scrolling segments, the swapping between turtles, the vehicles, like it was rough, but it was very unique.

TMNT II is a very well made NES beat em up, but it's not gonna be my go to Beat em up game on the NES, nor is it even going to be my go to TMNT game on the NES or even my 2nd choice... because I remember playing TMNT III The Manhattan Project and enjoying it a whole lot more than this... I never finished it, which I hope to do soon-ish.

TMNT II wasn't in the Nintendo Power queue, im not sure if it ever gets a feature in Nintendo Power, but I saw a certain movie recently and have been rewatching a certain cartoon show recently, and am excited for a certain crossover platform fighter that has certain characters in it, so I needed to get my Turtle vidya fix.

Oh yeah, I played as Michelangelo. I was told they all perform the same so just to choose your fave. Idk if I even have a fave from the 80's turtles but I think I usually bounce back and forth between Raph and Don. Just felt like being Mikey this time.

[rancidslime]

I know a lot of people (even xi fans) think of FFXIV as a straightforward improvement but it's honestly such a tremendous bummer that Xi's emergent gameplay and weird class mechanics literally cannot exist in a game as rigidly stratified as FFXIV. Classes MUST fit into defined roles and it keeps them from branching out.

The example I keep coming back to is FFXI's Ninja. Ninja was originally intended to be a DPS job in XI, similar to how it is in XIV. The thing is, players realized that Ninja, through the use of their Utsusemi skill, could draw aggro and just dodge a huge percentage of the attacks now being aimed at them, and this realization organically transitioned into one of Ninja's most beloved roles in FFXI: as a blink tank

That kind of thing... CANNOT happen in FFXIV. Even if a class somehow managed it, the way party roles work in the dungeon queue means the rest of the party would almost certainly be wildly imbalanced. It's a bummer, you know? FFXIV wants you to play only in the bounds of its walled garden and it kinda stifles the game as a result. At least to me! I know plenty of people love it, obviously. And yeah, I know XI is technically still around, but, well, it's older than dirt and looks/feels it. Even as someone who loves playing old ass roguelikes, XI feels rough in the modern day.

[yukihirata]

Ancient History

The ultimate test of a man's conscience may be his willingness to sacrifice something today for future generations whose words of thanks will not be heard.

((The following contains subject material that may be triggering to some. Themes included are graphic and intense violence. Read at your own discretion.))

(( Recommended listening: https://youtu.be/lfczAmFIsTE?si=9N76JcBw_p6k7g4d ))

A long time ago, during the Age of Blood and Strife…

Long before Kugane was Hingashi’s capital city, it was a significantly smaller settlement ruled by the Mitsurugi clan. Unlike the other clans, the Mitsurugi clan was not a violent group. The head of the clan, Kanzan, believed in less violent ways to unify his people. He often employed marriages as a tool to bind two clans together, knowing that it would cause strong bonds between two groups of people who were at war with each other. Ninjas were also sent into his opponent’s encampments and cities to gather intelligence on his foes.

On the final days of the Age of Blood were indeed quite bloody. One of the Mirsurugi clan’s enemies, the Naruse clan, was rumored to be on the move for an attack on the Mitsurugi clan’s familial estate. One of the clan’s ninjas was on his return trip, moving his horse as fast as the beast could manage. He carried with him the plans their enemies would use against them. It was night when he arrived at his lord’s estate, both him and his horse out of breath and fatigued.

“Halt!” a man in his 40’s said, holding up a hand. “State your business.”

“I am one of Mitsurugi-sama’s informants,” the ninja gasped as he tossed one leg over the other and hopped off his horse. “Please, I need to see him right away. It’s a matter of life and death.”

“Hirata!” the forty-something man barked out.

A young man in his 20’s stepped forward with a smile. He offered the ninja a polite thirty five degree bow and held a hand out of the man’s report. “I’ll take it to him right away, you have my word,” Hirata had told the Ninja.

“Fine, here. Just please make sure he sees that right away. Please,” the ninja urged the Samurai, reaching out and offering him a folded up piece of parchment.

“Worry not friend, for I, Moriyama Hirata am one of Mitsurugi-sama’s personal Samurai. Your report is in safe hands. Your duty is done, you are free to go as you please,” Moriyama told the ninja, his kind smile never wavering.

With the paperwork in hand, Moriyama did another polite bow before opening the estate’s front gate and slipping inside, letting the large wooden doors close behind him. He then followed the gravel walkway that cut through the estate’s garden that was lovingly tended to by Kanzan’s wife. The sound of a shishi-odoshi wrapping against a stone every few seconds ringing out in the relatively quiet night. As Moriyama strolled through the garden he could smell the Sakura blossoms intertwining with the various other flowers that populated the garden.

“Mitsurugi-sama,” Moriyama called out in a sing-song tone. “I have an intelligence report!”

Kanzan slid a door open and poked his head outside. A much smaller and younger head poked out as well, a little girl beaming up at her father. The pair looked at each other, laughed and went out to greet their friend properly. Kanzan strode over to Moriyama, smiling at the man that he had been friends with his entire life. His daughter, a girl by the name of Motoko, walked up to Moriyama and tugged on his hakama.

“Uncle Moriyama, can Kaya play?” Motoko asked the Raen with her little girl voice.

“I don’t think so, sweetheart. It’s getting late and I’m sure your mommy wants to put you to bed soon. You two can play tomorrow, though! I even got you two some new toys,” Moriyama replied with a soft tone of voice as he dropped down to a squat so he was eye level with the little girl. “But you need to be a good girl and listen to your mom.”

Almost as if on queue, two women stepped out onto the wrap-around patio. The two women, clearly twin sisters, were conversing quietly amongst themselves, one of them carrying a newborn infant. Moriyama smiled when he saw his wife and son, a feeling of pride blooming in his heart. It brought him much joy to see his family coexisting with his best friend’s family. Finally, after so many hard years, things were finally starting to look up for the Mitsurugi clan and its retainers.

“Oh no,” Kanzan let out, his eyes wide with panic. “The other clans. They’re here. They’re coming to kill my family!”

Moriyama’s smile faded and his mind switched into high gear. He first looked at his wife and son, then down at his goddaughter and over at his sister in law. His eyes then fell on his best friend, the man he would gladly die for.

“Go,” Moriyama told them all. “Get your things and leave out the back gate.”

“There’s no way in hell we’re going to leave you behind!” Murai, Moriyama’s wife told him, in no way shape or form taking no for an answer. “We can all escape together!”

“No, you all must go. Take the guards with you. I’ll hold them off long enough for you all to get away.”

“We’re not leaving you behind!” Kanzan added, walking over to his friend. “I’m not going to let you throw your life away so recklessly.”

“Kanzan,” Moriyama said, placing a hand on his friend’s cheek. “You are the future for our people. I would gladly fight to my last breath to ensure and our country survive. Nothing you can say will change my mind, so please, get your things and leave.”

There was pain behind Moriyama’s words. Tears began to form in his eyes as he looked at his friend, then to his wife and son. He shifted his hand from Kanzan’s cheek to his shoulder and gave it a firm squeeze before approaching his wife. The two embraced each other, saying nothing as they pressed their foreheads together, gazing into each other’s eyes.

“Murai, my love, take Takeshi and go while there’s still time. I know this is hard, but it’s what’s best for our children. Please,” Moriyama begged his wife as tears flowed down her cheeks. “Go. Live a long and happy life in a unified Hingashi.”

Kanzan took one look over at his friend and ran back into the house. The others looked at where he had vanished into, waiting to see what he went to grab. After a few minutes he flew out of the estate, a sword in hand. He approached Moriyama, holding the sword out for him to take.

“Moriyama Hirata, as future emperor of Hingashi, I hereby dub you the title of Hingashi no Kami, chief of Kugane. Your sworn duty is to protect me and my countryman. Do you accept?”

“I do,” Moriyama said without an ounce of hesitation and reached out to take the offered sword.

The weapon had a hefty weight to it, a sign that it was not a simple katana like Moriyama expected. He drew the blade and looked at it with amazement. His eyes started at the tip of the sword and trailed all the way down the blade, which was a touch wider than most katana and made with an edge meant only to dismember. Engraved on the base of the blade were the words, “I belong to the warrior in who the old ways join the new.”

“What does that inscription mean? What are the new ways?” Moriyama asked his friend, looking over at Kanzan.

“Peace, that’s the new way. You have always been an advocate for peace, going as far as to carry a blunted katana. It is through your sacrifice that Hingashi will flourish. I had planned on giving that sword to you for birthday, but I decided today was a better time. I hope this blade serves you well, old friend.”

And without another word, Kanzan gripped his friend by the shoulders and briefly gazed into his eyes, memorizing the features of his oldest and greatest friend. A brief moment of silence fell over the group as the two men said their silent goodbyes. Kazan eventually released his friend and rushed toward the estate, motioning for the two people and their children to follow. Moriyama watched as his family ran off, knowing that this would be the last time he’d see them.

The two guards at the front gate rushed past Moriyama, having overheard the group’s conversation and gave him a gentle nod of their heads as a sign of respect for what he was about to do. He sheathed his sword and casually approached the front gate. Off in the distance a sea of torches could be seen bobbing up and down, a clear sign that they were working on borrowed time. All Moriyama needed to do was delay them long enough for the Mitsurugi clan to escape the estate and eventually fleeing the region by boat.

The future of his family and country solely depended on them surviving this night. It was their destiny to unite Hingashi and put an end to this nigh endless war. Their destiny led out in the future, Moriyama’s destiny ended here, at this moment, for this singular purpose.

Moriyama took a deep breath and lowered himself down to a sitting position. He tucked his legs under himself and sat with his back straight, sword resting sheathed on his lap. His eyes drifted closed while he tried to ground himself and banished the fear and uncertainty from his mind. A gentle calm washed over him, allowing him one final moment of relaxation before the fight was brought to him.

Several minutes later and Moriyama could hear the beating of horse hooves on the roadway. His eyes slowly slid back open and he gazed at the small army approaching. He then rose to his feet, letting his left hand come to rest on the scabbard of his newly gifted sword. It had been many years since Moriyama had to use a weapon, having relied on his words for the most part. He was a man of peace, after all.

Eventually the opposing forces arrived at the gate, lead by a group of armored men. They wordlessly hopped off their mounts and approached Moriyama. One of them drew his katana and held the blade close, the tip pointing up to the night sky.

“Let us through or die,” the armed warrior said while he dropped down to a low, wide stance.

“Hello to you too,” Moriyama said with a light bow of his head, eyes never leaving the armed man. “My name is Moriyama Hirata, sworn guardian of Kanzan Mitsurugi. It is my duty to protect my lord and I will do so with joy in my heart. Please, lay down your arms and join us as brothers. A unified Hingashi is a possible, achievable goal! Imagine that, peace in our time!”

“I don’t care. Let us through or die,” the armed warrior demanded as he started to advance forward.

“Please, gentlemen, we don’t have to fight anymore! Don’t you see what’s happening? Hingashi is about to be united for the first time in almost a thousand years! Peace! Please don’t do this. I don’t want to hurt you or your men,” Moriyama continued to plead.

The armed warrior said nothing more and instead shot forward, letting loose a mighty war cry. His blade was swiped down, only to have Moriyama simply step out of the way. He gripped the warrior’s forearms once he was in range, sweeping his feet out from under him and throwing the warrior to the ground. Moriyama took several steps back, hands up to defend himself.

“Please! I don’t want to hurt you! Stop this madness!”

Several of the men on horses dismounted, drawing their swords once they were on stable ground. Moriyama looked over at them, then at the now prone warrior. They all looked incredibly angry, the intention to spill blood hanging in the air. It was then that Moriyama realized that these men would not leave, even if they were facing an army themselves. They didn’t want the Mitsurugi clan to rule, they wanted their lord to rule. He knew the type of rulers they’d be and Moriyama wanted nothing to do with even the idea of someone else ruling over Hingashi.

(( Recommended listening: https://youtu.be/60FJDw9qcFk?si=RsFf83TYUQjyLZNdv ))

“So be it,” Moriyama said, his voice lowering and gaining an edge. “May the gods have mercy on our souls.”

The opposing warriors remained silent and approached with caution upon seeing the change in body language displayed by Moriyama. They watched as he eased his sheathed sword forward, right hand moving to rest on the hilt of the weapon.

Without warning all five of the warriors charged forward, each one drawing their sword as they ran. Moriyama drew his sword in a flash of sliver, catching the wrist of one attacker and stopping his sword. He then swiped his sword as he spun around, cutting clean, straight lines in the stomachs of the enemy warriors. They fell to the ground one after the other, each one trying in vain to keep their internal organs from spilling out on the ground. But, it was futile as the cuts were too long and too wide to simply hold shut. The attacking warriors would eventually die in the coming minutes, their lives tossed aside for nothing.

Moriyama was a sight to behold. His blade moved faster than the eye could see, blocking one sword here, and countering another there. He lashed out and kicked someone under chin, sending them sprawling backwards. As more men fell to the lone defender, their commanding officer was clearly annoyed with the delay. He snarled and dismounted his sword, drawing his sword as he did so. Two men wielding pikes also dismounted, following their commander closely, each one wearing menacing Oni masks.

More men went down with a single stroke of Moriyama’s sword. A small pile of corpses was beginning to arise around him, their blood intertwining with each other and becoming one. Faces frozen in agony or fear stared up at their killer, watch him as he cut down more of their friends and brothers. The army was growing restless and sick of watching their buddies die. The main fighting force advanced forward and boxed Moriyama in. They moved into surround him on all sides, all while he defended himself.

With a roar of anger, Moriyama lashed out with his sword. A jet of flame suddenly whooshed to life and consumed the blade, sending globs of molten fire in an arc, hitting everything in front of him. The men who were unfortunately unable to get out of the way of the fire were quickly consumed by the blaze. Their bodies went up in flames, their screams carrying out across the valley and into the night.

Moriyama quite literally shot forward, an ear shattering BOOM sounding off as he launched forward at the speed of sound. His sword was driven into the chest of one of the attackers, setting the man on fire. He screamed in agony as the blade was violently ripped out of his body, blood squirting out of the fresh wound. Another sonic boom rang out and another warrior was cut into three pieces. The lone defender moved from person to person, each one either getting zapped by lightning or being set ablaze with fire. Some men were unfortunately hit with gusts of freezing air, paralyzing them as the frostbite set in, turning their skin a lovely shade of black.

A ripple of energy shot from the tip of Moriyama’s sword as he swung it from left to write horizontally. The energy crackled with power as it flew through the air. It crashed into a wall of bodies, sending them sprawling backward. Their bodies convulsed on the ground as inhuman levels of electricity coursed throughout them, killing them slowly and painfully.

The lone defender continued to his defense of the estate. He knew by now that the two families would be safe and nowhere near the battle. If they were moving as fast as they were supposed to, they should be arriving at boat at this very second. Moriyama could only hope and pray that they made it out before the army showed up.

For now, all Moriyama could do was slow the army down. He continued his assault on the attackers, sending wave after wave of fire in their direction. He sent bolts of ice into the hearts of his enemies and bolts of lighting into their minds. For the first, and last time, Moriyama was actually fighting. He based the idea of having to kill someone, but this was the future of his people at stake.

“MITSURUGI BANZAI!” Moriyama shouted as he brought his sword down on one of the warriors, cutting him in two. The two halves took a couple steps away from each other and fell down, internal organs slowly sliding free from their skeletal prisons.

A cry of pain escaped the lone defender’s mouth as he was stabbed through the torso. He could feel the sword wedged into his body, the sharp point visible from his backside. The pain was unbelievable, feeling as if a fire had been set inside his chest. But this wouldn’t deter him from doing his duty. It was up to him and him alone to ensure the future of his people was a peaceful one. He wanted nothing more than to end this pointless bloodshed. It was time brothers stopped killing brothers and united together instead of against each other.

More men were quick to join the fray, only to end up dead on the side of the road. By now a good ten bodies had been stacked up on top of each other, having been vested by a single man.

Moriyama stood there gasping for air, his body on fire. The sword he had been impaled with was still lodged in his chest, joined by two stab wounds created with a pike’s blade. Sweat trickled down his face, intermingling with his own blood. One of his eyes was bruised, his nose bent and broken. While he did kill a number of men, they were also skilled warriors who wounded him in the process. Some managed to get off better blows than others, the pikemen being the biggest annoyance.

“Please,” Moriyama begged between taking in lungfuls of cool night air. “Don’t do this. There are children inside!”

“They’ll join their father then,” the commander said. He held out a hand, stopping the advance.

“Like hell they will!” Moriyama shouted as anger crept into his voice. “Fine then, let’s do this. You and me, right here, right now. I challenge you to a duel.”

The commanding officer snarled and reached up to his black Oni mask. He took it off and tossed it to the side, revealing a face only a mother could love. The commander’s face was a network of scars, some much older than others. His mouth was disfigured and pulled off to the side on the right side of his face, giving him a permanent sneer.

“I accept your terms,” the commander barked as he dropped down to a low stance, right hand hovering over the hilt of his sword.

Moriyama took a deep breath and sheathed his sword. He took up position directly across from the commander, mimicking his stance. The two men stood there for a couple minutes, each one waiting for the other to make the first move.

The commander was the first to attack. He prepared and drew his sword, drawing a crescent in front of him horizontally with his opening strike. Moriyama easily evaded the attack, stepping out of the way at the last second. He retorted with yet another single swipe of his sword, which was immediately sheathed upon finishing its arc. The commander stumbled forward a few feet before falling apart, literally cut in two. He groaned as the last of life left him, his blood pooling out of his body and creating a gross mixture of blood and dirt.

When the remaining forces saw their commanding officer die everyone lost their collective minds. All of a sudden they had no one to lead them and guide their anger, which has only grown stronger watching their commander and friends die. With no one to control the group, they all went inside. Several of them broke off and started attacking other houses in the area. Women and children screamed, the roar of fire heard off in the distance.

Moriyama’s face paled as twenty armed men all approached him at once. They drew their swords and pikes, tossing aside any scabbard that could get in the way. And without warning they all surged forward, lettting loose war cries forged in hell. Moriyama was quick to avoid one strike, cutting the head off one man while stepping out of the way of a separate attack. It didn’t matter how good of a swordsman he was, Moriyama was quickly outmatched.

One man leapt forward, swinging his sword in a diagonal slice and opening a fresh wound on Moriyama’s chest. He yelped in pain and dropped to his knees, finding it harder and harder to fight. It seemed that in his haste to defend the estate, he had lost a considerable amount of blood after being impaled. In fact, it was a miracle he was still alive.

“Kami smiles down at me,” Moriyama said, struggling to breathe. He coughed up a lungful of blood and slumped forward, letting more blood ooze out of his mouth. “Can you say the same?”

So, this was it. This was the end.

“Please,” Moriyama gasped as darkness started to close in on his vision. “For the good of Hingashi, stop… this… madness…”

It was then that Moriyama died, sword in hand. His body went limp and slumped forward before falling prone, his dark brown eyes gazing up at the stars, a smile frozen on his face. His duty was complete, the Mitsurugi clan was safe. His children were safe. Now he could finally rest. Rather than returning to the livestream, whatever was left of Moriyama’s aether entered the sword and remained there. The next time the blade was sheathed it wouldn’t open again for anyone but a member of the Hirata bloodline.

———

Yuki let out a surprised yelp and nearly dropped her sword mid-swing. She stared at the blade after experiencing what felt like someone’s last moments. The smell of fire and death clung to the back of her throat, the taste of blood lingering like a faint memory. The Raen looked up and then around her surroundings, seeing none but herself.

“What was that?” she asked herself, eyes never leaving the weapon. “Did you just show me what makes you special?”

Silence was her answer. She smiled at the idea of a sword talking back to her, a silly idea.

“So, if that was all real… Then that’s why no one but me and dad can use you! We are of your blood! Oh my gosh, I need to tell my dad right away! This is amazing!”

Yuki abandoned all hope of finishing her exercises now that she had a new mission. She gathered up her belongings, having set up under a large tree. Once her stuff was all gathered and put away in a canvas bag. With her gear in hand, Yuki began the walk home.

Her dad absolutely needed to hear the story of their family sword. Yuki even planned on telling her boss about this, knowing he would love to know the story of their common ancestors. This was big, big news for the loyal family.

At long last, the story of Moriyama’s sacrifice could be told.

[bejeousdoodle]

GATO WONKYHAM IS BACK

[mrfartpowered]

btw I calculated the output on this blog since I started it in March and um.

for context: I’ve had my main blog since 2016. on average, I’ve been making and reblogging ~120 posts per month there.

this blog averages over 300 posts per month 😭😭😭

[jeremy-ken-anderson]

Old Hyoton and New Huton

So Ninja in FFXIV has a nuisance where a class feature changes best practices for your rotation. This can be a big deal because muscle memory is important to playing well at high levels.

Basically, you get Kassatsu at level 50, which buffs your next ninja magic attack. When you first get it, your most damaging single-target ninja magic is Raiton, at 740, and your worst single-target is Hyoton, at 350. Hyoton doesn't come close to Raiton's damage even when you buff it with Kassatsu. So from levels 50-75 you do Kassatsu-Ten-Chi to cast Raiton buffed. Then at level 76, you get a trait that says Kassatsu-Chi-Jin doesn't cast a slightly-buffed Hyoton, but instead casts Hyosho Ranryu, with a whopping 1,300 base value (1,690 counting the buff from Kassatsu). From then on, when you queue into a dungeon, you have to check whether it's synced to 75 or lower so that you don't accidentally use one of your best skills buffing your worst attack (or conversely, at 76+, ignore your new best attack).

I mention this in order to give kudos to the folks who put together the math for the new iteration of Huton.

Trick Attack hits for 400 and applies a debuff that makes the target more vulnerable to your attacks, AND it's a bonus attack, usable outside the global cooldown, but it has two requirements. It has a 1-minute cooldown, and even when it's off cooldown you need the Shadow Walker buff to use it during combat. Suiton hits for 580 and grants Shadow Walker. So the regular single-target rhythm is to use Raiton for its flat 740 when Trick Attack's cooldown is running, and then once that's ready (or will be soon enough) you use Suiton to get Shadow Walker, since 580+400 beats 740 by a pretty wide margin.

But for a while this put Suiton and Trick Attack in kind of an awkward place with crowds. Were you supposed to ignore them? Katon deals 350 per enemy, so 1050 if there are three targets...It's kind of a tossup whether the debuff you apply to one target makes Suiton-Trick Attack worth more than hitting the group with Katon.

The new iteration of Huton gets around this awkwardness, by dealing 240 per target to a crowd and gaining Shadow Walker. On 3-4 targets Huton + Trick Attack is worth more damage than Katon, even though Trick Attack only hits one target. It's only at 5 targets that you're back into uncertainty about whether to use Katon instead, and at 6+ - the largest wall-to-wall pulls - that you care what level you are the way you do with the whole Hyoton vs Hyosho Ranryu thing.

At level 92, your math becomes WAY easier, because Trick Attack gets upgraded to Kunai's Bane. It becomes an AoE, dealing 300 to a crowd and 300 more to a primary target. The 240 from Huton + 300 from Kunai's Bane easily beats out the 350 from Katon, making the AoE rotation easy to understand and parallel in concept to the single-target: Use Suiton into Trick Attack when available, use Raiton otherwise. Use Huton into Trick Attack when available, use Katon otherwise.

But yeah. For 1-2 targets use your single-target options. For 3-5 targets, as soon as you have Huton you should be using Huton - Trick Attack. It'll do at least as much damage as Katon (more, at 3-4) and it'll be good muscle memory practice for when you reach 92+ and get Trick Attack's upgraded form. And for 6+ targets you still ignore Huton until you're in level 92+ content (conveniently, once you reach level 92 this applies to all dungeons and trials in the latest expansion).

[ask-marios-apprentice]

The Hit

I don't know how to say this but...

There was a bounty on my head.

Well technically all of me.

It all started out as roughly a normal day. The flowers were blooming, Yoshi was still on the castle roof trying to avoid taxes. And I was in the gardens trying to perfect my wall jump technique.

Mario: Garth. you Don't slide on the wall. You might cut your hand on a brick or something.

Garth: But that's how it works in the games.

Mario: we went over this already. Not everything in the games reflects real life.

Garth: Keywords being "Not Everything" Mario Brothers 3 was a play in real life. Hotel Mario was based on a true story. And Clu Clu Land is one of the most accurate adventures on the KES.

Mario: We're all aware of the weird avant-garde play based on my life.

Garth: Based on the years of 1985

Mario: Just get down here so I can show you how to properly get it done.

I landed back on the ground. And not a moment too soon.

An arrow ended up hitting where my head would have been.

That would have made me loose like... a unit of health.

Then suddenly two more arrows followed.

That would have done me in.

Or least send me to the infirmary.

Mario: Mamma Mia. Who attacks someone like that.

Garth: I'm unsure. I'm just glad that they missed me.

We decided to head inside. Ending training for the day.

I decided to stay in the castle's throne room where Peach was having her weekly audience. It felt safer to be in a room with more than 10 people.

Unfortunately I had to leave after the audience ended.

I walked across the bridge to get to my home.

I felt a bit of Peace considering I probably could find sanctuary at my abode.

That wasn't till I saw frickin shirikens on my door.

I decided maybe it's best if I stick to crowds right now.

I would queue a montage. but I don't exactly have animation Studio on call

So I'll just bullet point the rest of the day.

Arrows at Astros

Shurikens at Burger Sync

Arrows at the comic shop

shurikens at warp org.

A tomahawk at Dreadpoint (that was unrelated)

Arrows at HEBuddy Grocery's

BOTH Arrows And Shurikens at my parents house.

I decided I would get to the bottom of this after having an arrow be shot in the Pollo of my Caldo and a shuriken cut the limes...

I met with them in a dark Agridulcian location

The Flamenco Bowl.

There i saw two people. A Starchild in a ninja get up. And a Niji dressed as Robin Hood.

Garth: so... Which one of you put the hit on me?

Ninji and Starchild: Neither.

Niji: That's not how it works.

Starchild: People will put a bounty on a person's head. And then bounty hunters will usually go and get that person.

Garth: wait are you assassins or bounty hunters?

Ninji: Bounty Hunter

Starchild: It depends on the job.

...

Garth: I want to know who put the hit on me.

Ninji: Fine. Let me get the laptop.

Both of them then set said laptop and put me on a video call with someone.

The caller ID said: Shiveria Max Security Penitentiary.

Pianta in prison suit: Is it done yet?

Garth: Um...no.

Pianta in prison suit:... Why is the target speaking to me.

Garth: "The Target" would like to have a word with you. For starters why did you want to send me to the afterward.

Pianta in prison suit: Do you seriously not know who I am.

Garth: No. Should I?

Pianta in prison suit: I am Pluto Ulpt. Son of S.K. Ulpt. Or should I say "the man whose dream you ruined"

...

Garth: wait. Like the creator of that giant teapot.

Pluto: It was called [a name I forgot].

Garth:It was gonna hurt people.

Pluto:...Screw it. Attack him.

Then they started attacking me with arrows and shurikens at me. And granted it was probably a bad idea to come to a meeting with two people hired to destroy you without any form of defense.

Thankfully my real plan came to action.

I got there a bit earlier and informed the owner to call for help.

It turns out you can actually call a bounty hunter on them they're Bounty Hunter.

After some tear gas and got dropped in.

I managed to avoid it by finding behind the pins.

That Bounty Hunter ended up taking the other two in for a hefty reward of 5,000 coins. Or at the very least hefty for modern day bounties considering these two.

Apparently Pluto might have an extended sentence due to hacking the computer lab computers at the penitentiary in addition to bring a hit on a future hero.

But he will probably get some new cell mates to keep him company.

That's pretty much all I have to say.

Garth signing off.

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

🍃 Working with Team 7 🍃

Naruto's Team 7 x Female reader

What would it be like working with Kakashi and the gang?

Warnings: again none... who is she?!?!

A/N: Surprise! This is the last of the OG headcannons I wrote like a month ago 😅 I'm currently working on Goshiki X Female Manager feat. Shiratorizawa and Karasuno x Manager!

Let's just start off by saying that whether you were reluctant to join or eager to be apart of the team, you'll need all the mental and emotional strength you can muscle

You are in your early 20s and a skilled Ninja in your own right

How you managed to get shafted with Team 7 is beyond me 🙄

Chunin and Jonin alike are jealous you got picked for Kakashi's team

Kakashi pretends not to care

Mans cares very much

You are an excellent Ninja and Kakashi is looking forward to working with you

Also he because he's got a big fat crush

NE WAYS you are assigned to the most chaotic team

Queue Naruto 🤸‍♂️

Naruto is very much attached to you from the beginning

He still believes he's going to be Hokage and he wants to learn everything he can

Enter him bugging you non stop to teach him all the Jitsu you know

Honestly very surprised by the sheer amount of food he can inhale

Sasuke is a different story

Opposite side of the spectrum from Naruto

He listens but is just as cocky as his blonde counterpart

You have to seperate them numerous times

Kakashi is zero help

Sasuke respects you but otherwise minds his own business

His life's mission is to piss Naruto off ✋🏻

And he suceeds

Constant bickering

Sakura is literally your only savior

Girl simps hard for Sasuke but she manages to keep it under control once team 7 gets rolling

Just kidding 😃

Dealing with Sakura's crush is the WORST

You have to constantly reassure her of her own abilities

Sakura is the least confident in her skills and requires alot of praise

Queue all of the praise

Even praise for Kakashi

Also call Kakashi "Sensai" and see what happens 😏

Sakura is your assistant in everything you do

You two are the only ones working hard to complete the missions around the village

Sakura takes to smacking Naruto so you don't have to 😊

Kakashi trusts you enough to just let you lead

You are literally the only functioning adult on the squad

Any change the mans gets to read his novel he will take it ✌🏻

Speaking of Kakashi, you've seem his face

Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura don't believe you

You simply shrug it off because you know how hot that man is 🥵

When team 7 enters the Chunin exams, you worry for their safety but trust in their abilities

You make Sakura and Sasuke promise to keep Naruto alive

Sakura agrees

Sasuke says he's not a miracle worker 😐

When Sasuke and Naruto make it to the finals, you help them where you can

That mostly means making sure they recover

So much for that YN, you failed miserably

Sasuke said 🧍‍♂️✌🏻 and went off with Kakashi

Naruto started working with Pervy Sage

Speaking of Pervy Sage, you may have slapped him a few times

20 times

Mans has no control and you are a sight 👀

When the sound village attacks during the 3rd round of the exams, you take to fighting

Might Guy just stares 👁👄👁

You look very attractive kicking butt

Kakashi sends you to help protect the village

Enter those large snakes 🐍

Whether you are grossed out by snakes or not, no thanks

Pervy Sage to the rescue

After he saves the village from Orochimaru's scaly bbys, you give him a kiss on the cheek

Pervy Sage asks for your hand in marriage

Pervy Sage face 👨🏻‍🦳 meet YNs palm ✋🏻

He knows he deserved it

Give the man a headpat and all is forgiven

All in all, your squad is very erratic, has very little intelligence (aside for Sakura and occasional Kakashi) and requires the most work to keep alive

In other words, you wouldn't have it any other way 😊

[barbwritesstuff]

Top 5 TV series!

I forgot I put that 'top five' thing into my queue and wasn't sure what prompted this message until I scrolled back through my blog.

Thanks for the ask, anon! I hope you're ready for some unpopular (and very dated) picks.*

5. Art Attack

Look, I was a lonely kid. For much of my childhood it was just me and my brother... and this very keen British man who taught me how to turn scrap paper, paint, and foil into my own spaceship cockpit. Ideas from this show allowed me to decorate my room as a kid, got me through high school art class, and saved my arse several times when I was a kindergarten teacher in South Korea.

One of the best informational programmes ever made. They should bring it back.

4. Air Crash Investigation

I'm sorry. I know it's cheap. I know it's tacky. I know all that. But I love this show. I love learning about and solving mysteries that aren't murders (sorry Sherlock), and the terrible acting makes it so much better. I can't watch this show with people, because I always try to guess the cause of the crash before the end of the episode and yell it out... and I don't know anything about planes to I'm usually very wrong.

Example:

Me: "It's the bulkhead! Check the bulkhead, you fools!"

Voice over: "The investigators check the bulkhead, but find nothing."

Me: "Yes! Because it's clearly the wings, like I've been saying all along."

3. Justice League Animated Series

I got into this series really late. I'd just moved out of home for the first time to go to film school and was having a hard time making friends. I don't know how it happened, but I somehow ended up watching the entirety of the DC Animated Universe during that time, which is impressive, because internet was expensive and terrible where I was living, so I had to go to the library, download episodes, and walk the 45 minutes home carrying my massive old laptop. It was a feat, but it was worth it. This show did what the Avengers couldn't, made me love superheroes.

2. Yu-Gi-Oh!

When I was 12 I was the best Yugioh player in my school. Sure, it wasn't a big school, and not everyone was into the game, but it was still a big deal for me, especially as I was also the only girl who played. The game has since evolved way beyond my skill level, but at the time, I was a god among mortals. 12 year old mortals, but still. I got up early every morning to see the latest episode, and then I went to school ready to d-d-d-d-duel.

Xena: Warrior Princess

I'm sorry. This show is just so nostalgic for me. For a while, I grew up on a farm with no actual TV signal, but we did have old VHS recordings of Xena and I watched it religiously. Lucy Lawless is amazing and this show is forever the best thing to come out of the 90s (and I say that while also, myself, being a product of the 90s). It has:

Monsters

Magic

Mayhem

Queer Love (not explicitly stated, but this wasn't queerbaiting, this was censorship, they were a couple by the mid point of the series, they just couldn't say it, so instead they made a lot of unsubtle sex jokes and came up with obscure reasons why they always had to kiss to save the world).

Aotearoa (New Zealand is the most beautiful place on the planet, I'm sorry if you disagree, you are wrong).

Tonal whiplash (not just between episodes, but sometimes in the same episode, and it was wild)

One very horny vampire episode

Xena can sometimes fly without any explanation

They met an early reincarnation of Jesus and he was a conman living in India?

You know that scene where Character A gets hurt and Character B goes absolutely feral? This.

Leather bikinis and ninja kicks except it's ancient Greece, maybe

The musical episode was the best episode

They fight on ladders a lot and I just think that's neat

*Disclaimer: I am into more modern and normal things but I'm in a nostalgic mood, so these are the things you get to hear about today.

[rasshu-benaiokny]

KnY Poneh AU🐴

(Demon slayer/My little Pony Synopsis)

- In the world of magical ponies, evil rears its ugly head once more as a corrupt and cursed alicorn named Muzan, watches over the world waiting for when he can finally take it over. A secret system of the worlds most powerful warriors called “Hashira” protects and fights against Muzan to prevent his influence over others but he has his own army… the 12 Moons. In exchange for devastating powers, creatures sell their allegiances to the corrupt alicorn, but are stricken with the same curse that prevents them from going out into the sunlight… Now deemed as Demons of their former selves, these minions fight, kill, and eat their own kind to get stronger, prompting the leader of the Demon slayers to take action, “All demons must be Executed”.

Notable characters

Rasshu: the pegasus warrior that prides herself on her sweet speed and evasion tactics. Shes one of the older slayers members and she often guides younger members to prepare them. Despite being extremely loyal to her purpose, she is deeply involved with a highly ranking villain. Only her and her leader know about this traitorous act but it seems like she’s influencing this said demon to switch sides… (she might have a slight demon trait in her)

Kyojuro: One of the most well respected Hashira despite his lackluster race: an earth pony. He radiate positivity as he represents their cause to cleanse this earth of demons! With his affinity for flames, he is known as the flame hashira! Though he might be one of the weaker members, he’s still extremely skilled as he uses his flame prowess to ignite his own weapons in battle! Friends with everyone and best friends with the sound hashira! (He is horrendously bad at social queues)

Giyu: A quiet pegasus that has witnessed the murder of his found family. Seemingly traumatized by the experience, he stays silent with most but he fights with vengeance for his fallen brethren. His affinity is water magic, as he can coat this weapons in a water like magic that helps cut through the necks of demons! He often gets bullied by the insect hashira, but he seems to be ok with it? Giyu seems to sightly respect Rasshu for being his sensei’s Hashira partner in the past. (He seems to a small crow as his pet that he love’s deeply)

Mitsuri: The most nurturing and happy earth pony you’ll ever see, the love hashira! Original under kyojuro, she became a hashira and now she fights alongside the best of the best! Her abnormally strong body allows her to plummet enemies in an instant!? She actually has a crush on most of the hashira but she REALLY wants to date the Serpents hashira! (She once had a crush on Rasshu, mistaking her for a stallion)

Obanai: A fragile bat pony that was taken in by the leader but now a strong Serpent hashira. This pony was born into a majority female demon controlled house hold so now he holds resentment for most women, except the sweetest pony, Mitsuri. He is one of the most skilled hashira as he fights along side his snake partner and utilizes snake-like magic to batter the opponents! (He knows Rasshu’s secret and absolutely hates her for it)

TENGEN: THE FLASHIEST OF THE HASHIRA! THE GOD OF FESTIVALS!!! This bombastic unicorn loves to fight with big blasts of magic infused attacks! He is also extremely fast and him and Rasshu tend to race constantly. With being so loud and flashy, he has a strenuous relationship with Obanai… Deemed as one of the weakest hashira, he looks up to his best buddy, Kyojuro… (He was actually raised to be a ninja like warrior so he is great at evasion IF he shuts up)

Sanemi: A scary dragon/pony hybrid that strikes fear into everyone. Deemed as the wind hashira, Sanemi uses his dragon like magic to control the wind around him to aid in killing his enemies! His ways are so ruthless that fellow hashira tend to get worried for the demon’s sake. Obanai seems to be his only “friend” since they are both similarly ruthless when fighting demons. (Gyomei is one of the few ponies that witnessed Sanemi’s gentle side)

Gyomei: An extremely gentle pony that has tremendous physical power. He is around the same age as Rasshu, placing him as being the second older active hashira. He has a calming aura that seems to attract animals of all kinds. Not wanting to fight, you can see him meditating alongside nature but when he does fight, it’s terrifying. He is undoubtedly the strongest hashira when it comes to physical power! (He is so sweet that no hashira seems to hold any resentments against him… he often invites his co hashira to tea)

Shinobu: a small unicorn that is deemed as the insect hashira. She aids and heals up any of the injured slayers so she has a decent role to play in the demon slayer corps! But don’t let her small stature fool you, she cant slice up demons like the others but she creates poison that eats away at even the strongest of demons! She has a sweet expression but she holds a large amount of anguish behind such a sweet face. (She seems to have a bit of interest in the water hashira, Giyu… or maybe she just likes to bully him)

Muichiro: The youngest slayer with the hashira rank; the mist pillar! This young unicorn seems to be a tad bit forgetful as he never seems to remember much. Because of his young age, he gets coddled by most of the hashira in his area. Even if hes super young, hes a hashira for a reason as his ability to fight is extraordinary! Using mist to hide his movements and confuse his enemies! (He actually refers to Rasshu as aunt Rasshu, even if they aren’t related… now every young slayer does this to her)

Sakonji: A retired pegasus that used to fight along side Rasshu back in the day until he got badly injured. The former water pillar, he trained many slayers like Giyu and Tanjiro but many of his students died to a particular demon hellbent of revenge… After breaking his wings, he lives alone after failing to protect his students… he still teaches what he can to the creatures seeking to become a slayer… (sometimes he shows up to hashira meetings to see whats going on)

Tanjiro: A new young slayer that wants to fight to save his little sister and change her back into a normal pony. This earth pony seems to have the power of the sun itself like the original slayer from the legends! He’s very hopeful as he trains each day with his friends. He fights to finally confront the evil alicorn himself! (He is so dang innocent and sweet but he’s also so naive)

Zenitsu: A jumpy unicorn embedded with electric elements! He’s terrified of monsters and demons but he still fights along side his friends! Many hashira are annoyed by his screams of terror and most wonder why he’s a slayer to begin with but he has his reasons. His electric powers allows him to be a dangerous opponent to be reconned with. (He had an OBVIOUS crush on Nezuko to the point that it’s nauseating)

Inosuke: The wild pegasus that was raised by wild boars! Somehow this monstrosity of a pony made his way to the demon slayer corps and found himself a few friends to join up with. He’s pretty dumbfounded but his recklessness is a nice wild card for demons to deal with! Creating his own magic powers, he is deemed as the creator of the beast style! A rough and crazy fighting style that trumps a lot of expectations! (He is easily defeated by his opponents if they give him shiny things or acorns)

Nezuko: The one exception to the “destroy all demons” rule as this cute pony is actually a demon! Turned by the great Muzan himself by accident, she’s extremely powerful and will help out her brother in tough times! She is mute and innocent as she stays with her brother in a small pouch since she is able to control her size. Funnily, since she became a demon directly from muzan, she is an alicorn demon like him, she just doesn’t know all of her powers yet. (Sometime when no ones around, Zenitsu will visit and talk to her)

Kagaya: the leader of the Demon slayer corps. He is a fragile unicorn with no magic to spare due to his family’s curse. He is ultimately weak with no powers or fighting prowess what so ever but he is the loving leader of his members… he has vowed his life to defeating the one scar in his family’s lineage, Muzan. His family’s sole purpose is to defeat Muzan. (His father, Daichi, was Rasshu’s original leader but he died recently)

(Part two will be about the 12 kizuki and their summaries) this was fun, i hope others find this cute AU