#nintendo of europe what the fuck

[arsenicalofarsons]

Being a splatoon fan in Europe is dreadful

[captainsplat]

im not vocal at all on twitter nor in the splatoon comp community (as a solo queue player i just lurk lol) but ive been thinking a lot since last night re: Jackpot members and others being exposed (cw: racist and homophobic slurs) and people wondering how Nintendo will respond wrt two of the world champions being huge fucking racists.

one of the major reasons that bigotry is perpetuated so much in competitive gaming is because in a field that receives little to no monetary support, you need a certain level of privilege to commit full-time to playing a video game competitively-- what with the time and resources needed to practice, coordinate and attend conventions and tournaments, to the point of your teams placing on top. on the NA and Europe side, you're gonna get a lot of sheltered, undisciplined white kids. this is true of most fields honestly, because capitalism and all, but my point is to keep in mind that it's a systemic issue.

esports has always been rather unsustainable. that doesn't mean the community as a whole deserves to lose what little support it gets, because it's nintendo's responsibility to support, moderate, and promote diversity within the community if it wants to reap any benefits from the competitive scene.* if Nintendo were to abandon esports again like with the smash bros. situation, it would be completely counterproductive (and unlikely, since I imagine the scene in Japan is way bigger and more successful).

the criticism from Black and LGBTQ+ players is more than true; there needs to be complete intolerance for racism and other bigotry in this community if it's to thrive.

also, please don't be complacent with all the mediocre apology posts from the past day or so. accountability goes way beyond saving face.

[practically-an-x-man]

Weirdly specific but helpful ask:

3, 11, 17, 28

For Kat and Quinn please?

Thank you!!

Weirdly Specific But Helpful Character Asks

3. How often do they show their genuine emotions to others versus just the audience knowing?

Katherine: She's a pretty open book, and doesn't hide her emotions well. Even when she's trying to keep things hidden, she doesn't succeed as much as she'd like to.

Quinn: Pretty much the opposite - she keeps a lot locked up tight, underneath this witty, confident facade. Billy's the only one who ever really gets to see past that, and only because he's known her so long.

11. If someone was impersonating them, what would friends / family ask or do to tell the difference?

Katherine: Just get her going on some kind of historical trivia - particularly Ancient Egypt, but any decent copycat would study up on Ancient Egypt in preparation. But get her going on how makeup took form in Medieval Europe, or the fact that Dracula could theory play poker with a deck of Nintendo brand playing cards, and any copycat would become obvious real quick. The real Katherine has historical anecdotes up the wazoo.

Quinn: Ask her about her time in the hospital - a trick question, since the real Quinn would sooner eat a bucket of dirt than openly talk about it. One weaves an elaborate story about recovery, pain, nurses, etc.... the other just says "fuck off", and that's the real Quinn.

17. What do they notice first in the mirror versus what most people first notice looking at them?

Katherine: Throughout her life, her vitiligo was always what she noticed first, especially since the patches tend to change over time and she can never completely get "used" to them. Recently though, she's taken to noticing her eyes first instead, since it was such an impactful thing to see Bastet with the same eyes. Other people tend to notice her vitiligo first, though, since it's such a rare and striking trait.

Quinn: I think I've answered this for her, actually, a few weeks back when I did this same ask game. Quinn notices the stubble/shadow on her cheeks, since it's one of the things that gives her the most dysphoria (especially when she first gets up and hasn't had the chance to shave yet). Others notice her style first, her punk look and pink Mohawk, and that's entirely by design - it keeps people from focusing on the details of her face, and makes her harder to identify if she loses the leather jacket and shaves her head.

28. What do they tell people they want? What do they actually want?

Katherine: Tells people that she wants to be remembered, which they usually interpret as wanting fame. Really, she doesn't care about fame, she just wants to know that her art has had impact on somebody. But that's a lot harder to explain.

Quinn: Has a long-running lie that she just wants to be rich, or that she just wants to have a fun and exciting life, and that's an excuse for why she can't give up thievery or pickpocketing no matter what it brings her. Really, she just wants to be seen for who she is, since she feels like people always view her through the lens of some bias or another - queerness, disability, college drop-out, punk-ass kid, you name it. She acts like she doesn't care, but she really does get tired of always being someone's stereotype.

[estercity]

idk how to word it. but all of the romantic supports in this game have atleast a little 'women putting in the work for the men' and most of the time the men are mediocre. i still love the pairs i've gone with but it is a bit funny to get my third 'i fell inlove with you because of what you can do with me, woman i'm friends with!' a support. but also its a fucking nintendo game set in medieval europe, so like what do i expect

[islandsaoirse]

The breaking down of “retro” has been fundamental to games history and advancement. We kinda have to cope with the idea that a lot of what we consider Pop Games History and The Console Wars comes from…early AVGN inspired YouTubers who knew like the vibes about Nintendo in the USA during a very specific time period!….and not much else.

Why doesn’t the stuff that should feel retro now feel like that previous generation in retro? Besides being different consoles with different aesthetics i’d honestly argue that the games industry had grown, they existed parallel to the internet spreading and therefore our documentation on not just the consoles but fans and perceptions of games is just…way better documented. You can go right now to a Gamefaqs forum taking about how the Wii NEEDS m rated games, you can go back and see each viral flash game being covered by the popular let’s players of the time. It’s fairly normalized! We have kept the legacy of the Wii’s vibes, the PS3’s turnaround and Xbox Live Arcade kinda decently? Some holes in public consciousness sure but you’ll be hard-pressed to find the same sort of mythicality that is applied to “Nintendo beating Sega so hard they had to stop making consoles” or the Game Crash.

EA is in a very different state now than when it was the most hated company on earth but we remember many of the specific reasons *why* that was the case. Not everyone knows the specifics but it is remembered how Bungie left Halo and Xbox. But when we talk about Yamauchi’s extremely aggressive and even anti-consumer tactics that often fucked over third party devs and thereby Sega…well we don’t talk about that. It’s kinda just left at “Nintendo won!”.

The legacy of Sega as a console manufacturer exists in comparison to the idea that Nintendo not only won, but won definitely with the GCN or if you’re lucky you get the concession that “yeah Sega was bigger in Europe for the Master System and was bigger in Latin America for even longer and also was always pretty successful in Japan is very reductive! Because yeah sure the USA was and is the biggest games market,,,but that’s the case with most media and doesn’t justify historical revisionism that Nintendo absolutely plays into? Same with the games crash which sure happened and Atari collapsed but, games where doing fine in the UK? Ask people over there about Commodore 64 games and you’ll get many fond memories aswell as many influential games that are sfill absolutely referenced in modern videogaming! Look at how often arcade game design is dismissed as purely predatory penny pinching.

Ghouls and Goblins during the 00s was often dismissed as bad and unfair when really if it was released today it’d share much more discourse with Dark Souls than what we consider now to be bad and unfair.

And in reality I think a lot of the current talk about “the kids don’t know the PS2 had games” or “people forget Sega was and still is unbeaten in the arcade experience” and “Lack Of Our Generation Having A Retro Revival” really is just a testament and highlights to that reevaluation of retro games and the narratives surrounding the games crash and console wars eras

[insuredgecko]

[ID: Text from the Splatoon wiki Inkipedia reading, “Acht has been referred to using she/her pronouns multiple times, but recently Nintendo of Europe and SplatoonNA used they/them pronouns in social media posts. Dialogue in the Japanese trailer uses ぼく (boku), typically a masculine pronoun, although this does not necessarily mean Acht is not female. A tweet from NintendoPT used “o artista” which is used for men. For women, “a artista” is usually used.” End ID.]

hey what the fuck is going on

[weemstar]

Ive been watching this trend since Rock Paper Scissors.

I don't care about winning. I care about integrity. I don't use the shells, I hoard them.

I'm a casual player who enjoys playing with my friends and being goofy during splatfest. It's a test of my skills and I love the energy!

But unless a team color is funny or the options WILDLY popular in Japan and NOT given to her, Shiver wins.

there's an implicit bias happening if Japan affects the outcome on its own and 90% of them never interact with US and Europe players bc of the way matchmaking functions. Look at Money v Fame v Love. Love reported mirror matches so frequent that TOO many people spent half their splatfest time in mirrors for them to not get the popular vote at LEAST.

Like they keep giving Shiver the options that align most with Japanese players, ofc they're gonna pick Shiver, it's a culture thing. It's not bad or wrong, it's just not fair to the ENTIRE global player base for one single country to affect the outcome singlehandedly.

A streak this long shouldn't be happening with 3 idols. I genuinely love Shiver, her character is great and her design is wonderful, but Nintendo is stacking the deck by giving her the option that aligns with the largest section of the player base EVERY time. I haven't picked her since Nessie because I've been picking based on which one I actually want, not what promises me a win.

I'd be mad if Frye was winning this long, or Big Man. Hell I remember being a lil cross that MARINA had a 7-streak during 2, and I never played that one! It was for the simple fact it seemed ridiculously unfair.

It doesn't make sense for the score to have been *so* close at Halftime only to then turn and see 55% of the total votes going to Shiver. It's ridiculous.

Nintendo either needs to make splatfests regional again or it needs to fix global matchmaking to ACTUALLY make it as fair as possible.

People are also taking this far FAR too serious and I'm worried if something isn't done people will begin to get worse. It's a game. It needs to be patched and fixed, but stop taking your anger out on others. Stop doxxing people. Stop gore-spamming people and calling them slurs. Stop harassing people over a video game. It's not fucking real you shit-baby.

I don't want toxicity under this post. You act like an ass I'm blocking you. This isn't me being "salty", this isn't me throwing a fit. I'm genuinely asking for a problem to be fixed because it's causing genuine issues.

I don't want to see racism either. I see that shit you're being reported and blocked.

I've seen a LOT of that lately against both Shiver and Frye and it's frankly disgusting.

I'm angry at the company, not the digital character who bare resemblance to irl races that yall seem to enjoy making disgusting comments about when you're angry.

Mic dropped.

[astridsfavs]

First Favourite Character

So this is my blog, where I shall ramble about my fav characters. Isn't that fantastic? And I figured I should start with the most famous viddy game franchise of all.

Tetris Super Mario! Mario has a sheer ocean amount of characters, through the platformers, kart racers, party games, RPGs, there's a million bajillion nerds to choose from. So is it the Brothers themselves I love? Princesses? Koopas? Or is it...

WARIO!

The big bad German/Italian/Something Anti-Mario. Super Capatalist Fucker. sigma male. I've loved Wario since day 1. My first Mario game was Super Mario Land 2, the game Wario debuted in (and it came out in Europe the month after I was born, so like, I was a newborn baby with Wario in my life. (the game boy was my parents, not mine originally)). Like, I didn't even know who the fuck Bowser was, or Luigi. When I was a wee bitch, I knew Mario, Wario, and the three fucking pigs who ruined my life in Mario Zone.

We also, at some point, got the first Wario Land game, and I liked the heavier, stronger style of gameplay, and the treasure hunting aspect. The collecting of coins gave the same "yes" feeling as collecting the rings in the Snoic. And the world evolving as you go through the game made it so cool. The tide coming in after finishing world 1, so early levels now are flooded, MT Teapot's lit crashing down and changing some of it's levels layout. And most importantly, Wario with his evil crosseyed grin, a fucking bastard of a man.

And to be honest, for a long while, that was it for me and Wario for a long while, I loved these two games, but I never like, played as him in Mario Kart 64 when we got our Nintendo 64, I was always Yoshi. I had borrowed a copy of Wario Blast from a friend once. And when we played on the playground, like, if we played Mario, which we did shut your mouth, I played Wario and just, "Elbow Bashed" everything (I didnt realise til long later it was a Shoulder Bash actually shut up), and doodled fanart of Wario in "Smash Bros 2"(he was just another Mario clone, but with yellow fireballs instead of red)

Anyhow, years later, I got Wario Land 3 from Woolworths, and that unlocked some shit in my brain because from then on, he was my guy. The cartooney transformations, and the way Wario behaved was like, that was the shit, and then Wario Land 4?! I was in, I am in and in for life! I love this cartooney shit!

Thing is though, again. that was it, I'd now play as him in the Wii games, Strikers, Smash, Kart Wii and Party. But I never played WarioWare until THIS year actually on the GBA Console on Switch. But that doesn't matter. There is SOMETHING about Wario that draws me in, even if I can't afford his own games.

So what do I love? I love an Anti Hero, I love powerhouses, I love selfish agendas (and Wario's love for gold being the drive for all his adventures is selfish AF) and I love hidden hearts of gold, Wario with Shokora shows he isn't entirely selfish, willing to team with others, heck he's got a huge group of friends in Warioware, and even when with the Mario gang, he pals around with Waluigi.

I love that he is allowed to dress up compared to other Mario characters.

He has so many outfits, this isn't even all of them. I love playing as him in Mario 64 DS, I know he's "The Worst" in the game, but punting goombas to hard it takes like 5 seconds for them to land and die is just a silly little fun. I love he is able to punch the fuck out of Tox in Shifting Sand Land.

I love he's a suer arrogant, rude, brash, super like, macho manly man. An Alpha actually, like, man has women throwing themselves at him, and some men too probs. He's a bitch dickhead, but he draws people in, and bitch like, me too.

Also he has the best cast of characters in the Mario series. Mona? Shokora? Syrup? Jimmy T? fuckit the whole warioware crew? Bonko the CLown or whatever his name is? All iconic!

ALSO! SAKURAI. Mate, bud, I love you, listen, Smash is fantastic, Kirby is superb, Kid Icarus Uprising is yum. But my fucking god, Wario is the WORST repped character in Smash. Like Sonic might have a basic spindash only style moveset, which is a bit boring, but whatever. Wario? We got a shoulder bash and his bike, yup, that's it. And a weird amount of farting, calm it down man.

Also give me a Next Level Games made Wario game, it would be so cool. Listen I know Strikers Charged did the fating rubbish too, but Striekrs 3 showed me they got Wario's character down to a T.

So this is my first post, so I'm figuring out the format of my rambles, it might get more organised in the future, but maybe not, maybe people like the way I write. Who knows.

ANYWAY! RUNNERS UP!

PRINCESS DAISY- I will be her.

WALUIGI! Not a meme, he is such a funny, Wacky Races goofy character, Next Level Games puts so much life into his animations in the three Strikers Games, he's a fantastic loser self-pitying dweeb. WAAAA.

[maryse127]

Takeaways from the Game Awards from someone who slept through most of it because fuck Europe apparently

Xenoblade 3 got totally robbed fuck the Game Awards. That soundtrack is fire and it should have gotten that award at least. Also still salty about it not getting a nom for best narrative

Why the fuck is Nintendo advertising an expansion pass for Fire Emblem Engage, a game that isn't out yet

I thought Final Fantasy VII Rebirth was gonna be the moment I was gonna have to mourn not being able to play due to lack of PS5 but the new Final Fantasy XVI trailer finally won me over for that game too so I will be crying about being PS5 and Final Fantasy-less way earlier than expected

Seen only a snippet of the orchestra but my deepest resepect for that flutist

In conclusion: I still hate the game awards. What little i saw before falling asleep sucked too. Who even is Geoff and why does this entire thing feel like it's mostly there for the ego of this random white man

[touhouweed]

yall nintendo-europe isnt a fucking parody account, despite what some folk may try to say otherwise for some reason

[pwblogarchive]

February 2005

February 1, 2005

im guessing you are regretting this monster you created. he gave me a prescription and said "these will take take care of your shyness". noone really gets that part though. and who ever wanted you to come out of your shell anyhow. maybe im just pretty sure that i am a total bore. and there's nothing tragic at all, this is (i'm) completely ordinary. and that's whats so tragic. it's so fucking mundane. so while we're all wasting our eyesight on these screens late into the night dying to find some connection to someone- our backs breaking from being hunched over the keyboard- im sending mail addressed to myself just so i get some. im looking in the mirror and dissecting myself, just a smile connected to a pulse, barely connected at that. this wont make any sense when i read it in the morning. i dont want to sleep alone anymore.

- petey

February 2, 2005

“lets pet puppies”

seriously though, lets pet puppies. i have one at home and i had a dream the other night that he was in desperate need of some petting. then i went to my folks and sure enough, he needed some pets. so i did. anyway, im way late on the oc trend, but im into it. ive been co-opting steeg's season 1 dvd and i must say im in love. im three discs in thanks to her. i dont have much to say about it other than its hard to stop watching. its really late right now. ive consumed half of a crumb cake, half a bag of chips with some dip, the rest of my salami, some soy milk, and some rc cola. im disapointed with the fact that ive been periodically drinking soda. it makes me feel so sick. i got an exercise bike the other day. havent used it yet. i should consider using it. it took me 2 hours to put it together. i feel like it owes me some sort of compensation. maybe a fine meal? a flick? a foot massage? who knows, its really up in the air. havent really made any purchases lately except i went grocery shopping the other day. now i have food. ive been trying not to eat out and not to buy stuff. its going somewhat swimingly. i must say that this is such an un-interesting entry. its as boring as a new yorker cartoon. its not fun like those picture searches in highlights magazine. i miss highlights. oh well. currently sleep is calling me but im trying to fight it. and now its about to overtake me. so i bid you all a farewell. if you have foreskin, clean it regularly. sanders, im talking to you.

February 4, 2005

“honeynutcheerios” 12:55am

I am gonna do a real update later. Me and patrick are sitting the cafe they shot swingers in. I keep calling patrick "baby". Joe and andy are asleep back in the midwest. I saw the initial art for the record cover today, I don't think you will expect it. I like it a lot though. look around the internet for a new song in the next month or so, it will be very very hidden.

Our friends in new found glory are in europe right now so we had to send chad an mp3 to scream on and send back, bi-continental like jayz "the blueberry still connects"... Look out for that on the record. Chad that is, not jay z.

Oh yeah is it me or do I have a total crush on "kate was like" from the messageboard. Brighteyes, weakerthans, super cute and an attitude... Swoon. Girls don't come much hotter.

Too bad I'm gay.

oh yeah and i'm trapped in l.a. and homesick. so i want to exchange intergeek valentines with you. if you send me a sweet valentine message, ill send you one back: valentinepete@hotmail.com-

be mine

Peeeeeeeter

ps im playing ghosts and gobins on oldschool nintendo and i think im gonna make a bottle of milk that tastes like after honey nut cheerios were in it- how good would it be if they sold that shit. im not making sense,

February 8, 2005

Iamthedream - Youarethedreamer

new clandestine stuff for the spring, pick it up over at www.clandestineindustries.com in the next couple of months.

February 14, 2005

Turn Up The Geek Factor

im sorry i have gotten sick. my valentines will be finished as soon as possible.

stay lovely.

peter

February 14, 2005

throwing up in the sink(ing feeling)

Hey. I'm back. Actually not really. I am in nyc. I found myself here last week trying to get better and get stuff for our record finished. Thanks for all of the kind words from everyone. Don't want to say too much right now. Keep your eyes on the site. Interesting things will be happening in the next month. Buy your tickets for the u.s. Tour now its almost all sold out. Go watch harold and maude. Clandestine has a couple of limited and exclusive items in hottopic right now. Stop by and grab some and tell them we sent you. I can't wait to see everybody.

Trouble loves me but not as much as you do I hope.

Peterpan

[galactichelium]

Something funny about living in Australia is that, when it comes to game "regions", they often don't know what to do with us. Sometimes they even decide to change their minds!

Most notable example is Nintendo, and, even more notable, how they've handled Spl//atoon for Australians. For the first game, we were grouped in with Europe for events, but then for the second one, we were grouped in with the US. There are no region-exclusive events in the third game, BUT, the new X battle IS split up into 2 "regions". For this you can choose which one you join, but they still have recommendations for countries. Of which they group us with Asia.

Individually it makes sense in each case why they chose each region though. Up until the Switch, we were always grouped with Europe because we are PAL and not NTSC. And obviously the first game was pre-Switch. But culturally we are probably best in the NA region, and they made PAL vs NTSC no longer matter, so when it was brought to the Switch, yeah. But timezone/connection speed wise, Asia is the better option.

SO. YEAH. So fucked up. And like I know WHY it is this way, like, the colonialism, and there not being enough people here to justify having their own "regions". But 😭

[chevvy-yates]

2, 19, 42 for the gaming asks ??

2. First game you played?

Ouuh, I think it must have ben Zelda for Super Nintendo: The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past. My dad used to play it. I quickly looked up the release dat in Europe and it says it must have been in 1992. So I was about 4 or 5 years old when he let me play it. I can barely remember all I did was choping trees of and running around not knowing what to do. The very first game I do remember and have been trying hard to beat through however was The Lion King, also for Super Nintendo. It was so hard to beat that game. I think I did it for the first time several years later.

19. Hardest game you’ve ever played?

Truely Dark Souls. I never managed to beat that Capra Deman. I tried so hard but failed every time. And because it was so exhausting in every way I eventually ditched it completely watching every Dark Souls part as Let's play instead. I tried Blood Borne too which was a bit easier and got me further but at some point I had the same problem as with the Capra Demon so I ditched that as well.

42. A game you will never forget (in a bad OR good way)?

Assassin's Creed – because it is a master piece and any other AC game that followed will never ever reach it. Fullstop. I just love the monotony that game has — meant in both ways: visually in colors and in gameplay. Altair has no money, he can't heal himself with medicine, he fucking can't swim and yet he made it up again to be the one Master Assassin everyone is going to look up to for decades. For a 2007s game it was quite impressive. The crowd behavoir, the many faces the people had, the fighting scenes — Altairs fight style is still my favorite. The way he climbs up walls so naturally and jumps over roof tops is unique. He's fast but at the same time it doesn't feel like it's over-rushed like other later AC characters do (Connor was nice and smotth tho). With further AC games I missed playing the first one more and more. Everything AC has ever been went of into a different direction with way too massive big open worlds, on every corner the same lame "clear out the camp xy" and such. Altair's world didn't have that.

[mrfoox]

My switch control are drifting and I'm so done at this point

[theliterarywolf]

Nintendo doing LIMITED Bayonetta physical edition... WHAT THE FUCK KINDA BULLSHIT IS THIS AGAIN???? *sobs* I live in Europe, so I bet I'll never get it unless I annoy the shit out of my US friend, and even then I'll probably miss it because of shitty asshole bots and scalpers. 😭 Link (there a period after Oct ) : businesswire. com/news/home/20220713005366/en/Nintendo-News-Bayonetta-3-Conjures-More-Mayhem-on-Nintendo-Switch-on-Oct. -28

Meanwhile I'm just over here screaming at the fact that the last dozen special edition releases of things I've been interested in DON'T HAVE FUCKING POSTERS FOR SOME REASON?!

Seriously, I bought the Target special edition Blu-ray set for Turning Red and it came with stickers and an alternative cover... But no poster.

Bought the Belle special edition steelbook... But no poster.

Now the special edition Trinity Masquerade edition of Bayonetta 3 is teased... And no FUCKING poster.

[hohoz]

The ones that suffer the most

I wanted to talk about this for a long time.

I’m a Resident evil addicted, I finished almost every RE game released and I must say that Capcom made some poor choices regarding Jill and Chris, they are EASILY the most mistreated characters in RE Franchise. 

But let’s explain why is that: 

Jill and Chris are survivors, they had to survive in a mansion with a lot of puzzles and zombies, while looking for items that could help them to progress and find a way to reach Brad. 

When they arrive at STARS Office, they are revolted that Umbrella did all that under their noses and innocents were dying because of that and they explained EVERYTHING in a report - but Irons made that go away. 

In the ORIGINAL RE3 we had this special file (Jill’s Diary) 

August 7th Two weeks have passed since that day. My wounds have been healed, but I just can't forget it. For most people, it's history now. But for me, whenever I close my eyes, it all comes back clearly. Zombies eating people's flesh and the screams of my teammates dying. No, the wounds in my heart are not healed yet...

August 13th Chris has been causing a lot of trouble recently. What's with him? He seldom talks to the other police members and is constantly irritated. The other day, he punched Elran of the Boy's Crime department just for accidentally splashing Chris's face with coffee. I immediately stopped Chris, but when he saw me he just gave me a wink and walked away. I wonder what happened to him...

August 15th Midnight. Chris, who has been on a leave of absence for a "vacation," called me so I visited his apartment. As soon as I walked into his room, he showed me a couple of pieces of paper. They were part of a virus research report entitled as simply as "G". Then Chris told me that, "The nightmare still continues." He went on to say that, "It's not over yet." Ever since that day, he has been fighting all by himself without rest, without even telling me.

August 24th Chris left the town today to go to Europe. Barry told me that he would send his family to Canada and then he would follow Chris. I decided to remain in Raccoon City for a while because I know that the research facility in this city will be very important to this entire case. In a month or so, I'll be joining with them somewhere in Europe. That's when my real battle begins...

For some weird reason this file isn’t available in RE3 Remake. 

But ok, here we see that Chris was doing some investigation - in the RE2RMK  you could see this letter that Chris left in a way that normal people wouldn't understand - the only thing that Claire says is that “doesnt look like him” but how normies would understand what Chris is like is he is not well represented in media ??????????????????

And Jill had all the detective work in her wall. 

So far so good - we understand the basics about them - they are Special police force, the elite, they had a traumatic experience and they survived to tell the story. 

Some problems until now:

Jill had a MAJOR personality change in RE3 RMK- I honestly like most of that, she is a badass in the originals and she is a badass in the rmk but I still dislike the fact that she swears all the time (specially because in RE1, RE Rev, RE5 she doesn't do that) 

We can tell a lot about her personality just looking at her room, but I still miss some stuff (I had expectations - so this is not a real problem. but still) like a Vinyl player (since she is probably into classical music), some letters from her father so new players can understand her origin and why is she so good in lockpicking and more about her dog (she had a pic in the original that could’ve been her boyfriend but it was replaced by a dog in RE2 rmk but in RE3 Rmk there in no dog) 

Okay - after you finish the game the only thing we see is this: 

In my opinion this is Chris since he is always associated with Green colors while Jill is associated with blue. 

So my speculation here is that she found him while in the original we had this: 

This is not a major chance but still is important (lore of course - duh) but the problem here is that while Jill is looking for him - Code Veronica is happening. 

So I can only assume two things, they did not show him because they DON’T HAVE A FACE FOR HIM or I am wrong and that is Jill, but if that is Jill so why there is no decent epilogue like the original ? 

Okay, now we are arriving in the real trouble area

I will do RE5 first and the Wii and Rev1 (even tho those two comes first in the lore) 

RESIDENT EVIL 5 

So before the game was release we had some propaganda, including this: 

So have in mind that Jill was dead, I thought that she died and RE5 would explain that shit. 

But in the beginning we see that Chris is looking for her and have in mind that Chris HAD A MAJOR CHANCE IN HIS APPEARANCE, and I’m not talking about his muscles. 

I will not address Chris in CV since he was good in that game but I the team that made CV also made the original, it had CONSISTENCE. 

Here we have Chris, he’s THE classical american soldier protagonist from Hollywood in the 80′s/90′s and he had some omage to TOPGUN

He also shares some traits with his sister

A major trait here is that HE HAS BLUE EYES, typical good looking soldier from US. 

and now let’s have a look at Chris in RE5...

Yeah... I still hate this face even tho I love his Character in this game, this ugly a** monkey looking mf and he had a lot of steroids

So we have some lore to him in RE5, Jill and Chris went to a mansion looking for Spencer (one of the fathers of Umbrella and the one that was behind project Wesker, he wanted to do this Virus so he could live forever, so RE has a good lore, it’s not just about zombies) but when they found him, he was dead and Wesker was by his side, in a fight Jill sacrificed herself to save Chris’s life. 

Chris started doing mission after mission because her body was never found, and he made a name for himself, he became a ‘legend’ inside BSAA and you can see that in the beginning of RE5.

The reason behind the muscles was probably to fight Wesker mano to mano but still is not well made, it really felt weird playing for the first time. 

So now we have a problem here, there is thing that you use in a narrative that is to make someone strong af powerless, and they did that to Jill. (a good example of this is in TWD- Ricky is a fucking legend and Negan made him powerless in the face of a event) 

Jill was used in a Boss fight and that is it... She is not in the game as a character, she is being manipulated and her whole design was changed, she looks like Nina from Tekken. WTF. - BTW, the fact that Wesker had mind control over her created 1000 fics of sex 

 So that is it, my main problem here isnt Jill itself, but it’s the fact that they used her character as a boss even tho she is the heroine, she never appears in RE lore again until some guy inside Capcom said “Well people are asking about Jill so let’s place a file in Rev2 saying that she is in rehab” 

The only time that she appears again is in a 3DS NINTENDO ONLY game, it felt that Capcom simply don’t care about her character. 

By the way Revelations 1 is a great game and was adaptable some years later for PC and consoles

But you think that this is bad, wait until we arrive at RESIDENT EVIL 6 

When I learned that Jill was not in RE6 I was mad... But after I played that game I said “thank you God” that game was bad, transformers kind of bad, it had bad writing, the lore was all over the place and Chris was the one that suffered the most in this game. 

He was responsible for the death of an entire squad, suffered amnesia and people still wanted him in the command 

THEY MADE HIM AN ALCOHOLIC 

The golden boy of BSAA reduced to THIS. 

By the way, the director said that HE WANTED TO KILL CHRIS IN THIS GAME to SUBVERT EXPECTATIONS - so if you liked Piers now that he died only because of that. 

So now let’s analyse what we know: 

The first 2 main characters are not well represented in media until RE6, they don’t know how to re introduce Jill in the games and Chris was reduced to a normal guy at a Russian bar;

But it gets worse... 

Capcom LOVE Leon, we know that. he is always the hero, he is the protagonist in almost every movie and he is always the cool guy so when he get’s a new model, he looks like this:

But When Chris get’s a new face he look like this: 

WHO DAFUQ ARE U, no offense to the model but he has NEGATIVE JAW LINE.

And still he doesn't look like Claire’s brother, there is no blue/green eyes and he looks younger that he was in 6 (and 6 still uses that ugly character model) 

But let’s go in the lore- we HAVE 0 info on Jill in RE6 / RE7 and no sight of her in RE8 

And speaking of which, they tried to make Chris the bad guy in the trailer so when we play we see “Ohhhh he was not the bad guy, that happened and that is why he did that” 

But still... 

If they are going to do that to his character don’t use this character, shit ! Do something with that Wesker’s son that made 0 sense in RE6 but leave Chris out of this - it really feels that they simply don’t know how to treat him right

And you may think that I may be complaining a lot because of his appearance

But this is him in RE8  

(to me this is some random dude from Russia) 

And this is him in RE:Verse (that is going to be release TOGETHER) 

So this tells me that they have 0 clue of how to handle his looks

Jill got RE3Rmk but it felt like a cheap game compared to RE2Rmk where the original RE3 was SO MUCH BETTER

And this is bad because there are so many new fans joining the fandom only to see 2 great characters suffering from poor director’s choices. 

I’m sorry about this rant, if you like Chris face and looks its okay, really, but dont tell me that Chris from 5/6/8 is the same from 1/CV and if you think im wrong about Jill its fine, but she is an amazing character that could have so much more impact in RE universe (I mean, she never even appeared in a RE movie - animations) 

But it’s sad to see so many characters that receive good representation in media and good games/lore while Jill get’s almost none and Chris is handled like random face guy. 

I was going to talk a little bit more about Rev 1 and RE Umbrella Chronicles but there is no need since Im mad right now and it seems that Capcom has 0 interest in making Code Veronica and Umbrella’s fall after that since their fav boy Leon need a rmk in RE4 even tho RE4 is not that old. 

Bonus:

Fun fact: Chris served in the Air force, so yeah, to me even Tom Cruise looks more like Chris than Chris from the games