#no but seriously what the FUCK does it mean eric

[possiblyawesometmblr]

seeing a lot of people focusing on the cute stuff in the update and that's all well and good but hi what the fuck does this mean

[dreamecho]

Currently going insane over the andré lotterer and jean-éric vergne podcast, what about you guys?

[alornights]

⟢ you took my soul.

➜ in which ! your beauty took their breath away.

💌 ﹫main 4 + butters stotch.

✩ 🎸 warnings﹗none.

🍓 ⟡ notes — me when subliminals start working, tehehe. based on the jimmy & kyle pretty people drabbles i did. idk what im doing tbh.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ eric cartman.

hates you.

the guy was so confused about why you looked like you were glowing and why his heart was about to beat out of his chest.

death stared you the entire first week you moved to town.

he later confronts you asking if you do witchcraft. you obviously answer you don't. he thinks you're lying and got plastic surgery.

you say you didn't with like the prettiest smile he's ever seen. he takes your word for it and everyone was shocked.

since then he's been like a parasite who always seems to be stuck with you always there to shoo off anyone irrelevant.

thinks he has asthma bc every time he sees you his breath cuts short and fucking hates himself for "having" asthma.

has tried on multiple occasions to "get rid" of people who bothered you even in the slightest way.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ kyle broflovski.

is actually so fucking flustered around you.

when he saw you in the cafeteria walking in he couldn't take his eyes off you the entire time, even with his friends calling for him.

if you even give him the slightest hint you're into him, he will take matters into his own hands and just brag to everyone.

for funsies of course.

deffo helps you away from any unwanted eyes, help meaning may literally threaten them in the worst ways possible.

when he's around you its like he's in a daze for him, he just feels like he's on cloud nine and is living the best life ever.

suddenly becomes the most romantic person ever, not that he wasn't already. but like hella cheesy hopeless romantic.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ stan marsh.

the classic and boring response is a throws up. but he actually doesn't do that contrary to popular beliefs.

he faints instead!

he thought he died since he saw an angel and then his vision went black but he thought hey at least that meant hed be in heaven.

he is stunned when he wakes up in the nurse's office and sees you worried about him of all people.

is like a stuttering mess but he starts slowly but surely relaxing around you, still very nervous talking to you though.

has bragged very purposely in front of wendy that y'all are friends.

while he may not be good at romance, he does try. and by trying i mean he makes u a picnic and brings takeout.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ kenny mccormick.

ay, he has a heart attack because of you.

kidding. but bro does feel his heart like- stop when he sees you walking down the halls like it's some rom-com movie.

instantly starts making moves on you, no hesitation.

doesn't matter whats going on, if he has the chance, hell take it.

at one point thought you were like his actual guardian angel because he had yet to die after meeting you.

still thinks you are and worships the ground you walk on.

very much one of those "ill do anything for you" but he actually will do anything for you, like seriously. just ask.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ butters stotch.

surprisingly the most normal of the bunch.

treats you like a normal human being thankfully.

though he does like stutter around you a lot but that calms down and he's usually back to his normal self in like a day or two.

is very much attached to you especially since his parents have

brags so much to the guys and tells them to "suck on these nuts bitch" because you don't hang out with them, ever.

has tried, and failed, to set up a date with you two. cried himself to sleep, and repeated this process for like a week.

it did work. at his house, in front of his parents! but it was kinda fun, you surprisingly got along with them very well.

[hauntedpearl]

afadshd I SAID I WON'T SAY ANYTHING BUT. hmm. okay. this is gonna bug me i need to get it out. i think we as a fandom just. forget some things about the show. the thing is, canonically, dean doesn't have an "Asian woman fetish" because the show does not acknowledge it as a thing that even deserves such terminology. every male character on the show is into that porn mag (remember that teenager sam bodyswapped with? proof enough i think if this random kid also had a copy of it. oh also! old vintage bab at the bunker 😐). it's essentially the only porn mag that's explicitly shown on screen on the show. like. THAT'S the issue. the problem is that the show normalizes fetishizing Asians to the point where the only form of East-Asian rep until, i guess, Kevin (??????like???god?????) is like. bab. sgfshsjd IT'S INGRAINED IN THE SHOW THAT BADLY. LIKE. IT'S FUCKED UP. like. essentially. the show is saying that if you're into women, you're into bab. which. hmm okay. i mean I'm not as offended as i probably should be when i sometimes come across it in fic bc i am a tired old asian woman and i filter it out for my personal enjoyment of things. (which. again. tired old person. im careful enough, but i just need white people to know that I am one extremely hardened and tolerant person who puts herself out there for conversations like this all the time and therefore is USED to it to the point of being able to shake it off pretty easily. but like. this is not the norm and IT SHOULD. NOT. BE)

(also engagement with fanfic and traditional media is like different for me but ig that's a whole other conversation. im so much more forgiving w fanfic.)

anyway. this is me just trying to tell you that bab is not an essential part of Dean's sexuality. it's not a personal thing for him, being fetishistic about Asians. Bab is the show being like that. it's the camera. ghostfacers effect or whatever. In a world where eric kripke is not one seriously messed up insane man, it would probably just be some skinmag with like. idk. naked cowgirls or whatever ykwim? like please don't think you're veering from canon when you remove it from your work/discussions/whatever. you're not. you're just ignoring it like you're ignoring other stupid stuff that the narrative normalizes for you.

also. i am not trying to coddle any white people, but i need you to understand that doing a racism ≠ being a racist. like i think a lot of you are afraid of owning up to racisms because you think you'll be branded a racist (in this case, a gun touting redneck who says slurs ig), and like. you need to divorce yourself from that kind of thinking my dudes. we all live in a white supremacist world (me, too, even in India so far away) we are ALL going to do some racisms some times. it's okay to acknowledge that and learn from it. like we are pigs in mud, some will get on you etc., the best you can do is like. see what went wrong. self-examine. reroute thinking to greener pastures.

OKAY STUPID LONG POST BUT YEAH

[cl0wncandies]

breast cancer show ever is my favorite south park episode. i think that the whole plot line that sets up the fight scene in last few minutes of the episode makes it even more satisfying to watch cartman get the snot beaten out of him in the end.

cause first off, before this episode aired, there wasn’t really any point in the show where cartman truly got what he deserved. yeah some bad things had happened to him before, but he’s never truly gotten any form of karma for his actions.

so when wendy says that she’s gonna fight him. he doesn’t take it all that seriously, just he expects to either easily win the fight or for wendy to back out before the end of the school day.

and then at lunch he realizes that if he loses the fight, everyone will think he’s a massive loser. what makes this even funnier is that cartman genuinely believes that he’s “the cool kid” and that everyone likes him. so his fear of losing a fight to a girl (which is a big deal for fourth graders) makes him desperate to prevent it from happening, without apologizing in front of everyone of course.

so now cartman does literally everything in his power to stop the fight before the school day ends.

he tries to apologize to wendy in private, without confessing that he was wrong in front of everyone.

he tries bribing her with money, and even goes as far as to eat his own underwear.

and near the end of the school day, he’s so desperate to get out of the fight that he goes up to his teachers desk and takes a dump on it in front of the whole class so he would get a detention. and then the fight was moved to the next morning. he wasn’t out of the fight yet he had time to find another strategy to stop wendy from beating the shit out of him.

cartman then goes full tattletale mode and tells his mom a sob story of how wendy is bullying him at school, and how we just wants to be her friend. he even takes the extra mile to put a fancy cardigan on and comb his hair over to make himself look even more sad and pathetic.

so obviously wendys parents are like “hey don’t fight this kid” and she finally gives up.

now, if cartman had just stopped there, he probably would’ve gotten away with his actions like he normally has up to this point in the show. but this is eric cartman, so he obviously has to take the extra mile in terrorizing her at school. he makes his school research paper about making fun of breast cancer, just to further show to wendy that there’s nothing she can do anymore since her parents have prevented her from fighting.

then wendy gets called down to the principals office, and principal victoria is like “hey are you gonna beat up cartman” and wendy says no. then victoria is like “mmmm, are you sure about that?”

AND THEN SHE BASICALLY GIVES WENDY PERMISSION TO FUCKING DESTROY CARTMAN IN THE SCHOOL PLAYGROUND. she calls him a “fat little lump of cancer” that needs to be ���fought.” i find this scene so funny cause it just shows that literally everyone, including the adults and school faculty wants to see cartman get some form of karma.

and then the actual fight scene itself is one of the best moments in the entire show. here’s a list of things that i love about it.

wendy pulls up to the playground with a bunch of students following her. some of the kids are from different grade levels, which shows that literally everyone wants to see cartman get beaten up.

and wendy also puts her hair up in a bun and takes off her coat so we can see her my little pony tank top, so you know that she means BUSINESS.

the face that cartman makes when he realizes that he can no longer manipulate or gaslight his way out of the fight without backing out in front of the entire school, which he can’t do since he believes that he’s the “cool kid.”

cartman having to pull up his pants after the first punch that wendy threw made him fall over.

and lastly, how butters gets so excited to see them fight. he’s been egging them both on throughout the entire episode, and he gets so happy when wendy finally shows up at the playground.

also, when he yells “FUCK HIM UP WENDY!” was so funny

anyways 10/10 episode it’s so funny

[canirove]

In The Name of Love | Chapter 10

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Masterlist

"This has been the best Christmas present ever, Val. Seriously."

"You're welcome" I smile.

"Barça won, we watched it from some of the best seats, and Pedri scored! It had been a while, you know?"

"I don't keep up with what they do." 

Which is a lie, because whether I like it or not, this season I am paying attention to what Barça does. 

"Did you see Pedri's celebration? Today it was different."

"How so?" I ask.

"He started doing it this season, and the first time it was towards the stands. Then he started doing it towards the camera, and today again to the stands. We believe it is dedicated to someone."

"We?"

"His fans, of course."

"Of course" I chuckle. 

"Some people say he does it for a friend, but many think it is for a girl, because he sends a kiss and then does a peace sign. But it can also be a V for Victoria or Verónica for example."

Or Valeria, I say to myself.

"Oh my God, Val! I just realized something!" Marina says, squeezing my arm. "He did the celebration looking at where we were! What if we were sitting next to whoever that person is?"

"Could be a possibility, I guess."

"Oh… my God" she says. "And it's my turn to go into the bathroom. Don't leave, ok?"

"I won't, don't worry."

Once she goes in, my phone pings.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

Where are you?

Bathroom

I'm done in 5 minutes. Do you know where to go?

Yep

Do you have your passes with you?

Yep

Are you going to use more than one word on your replies? 😂

Maybe 🤷‍♀️

🙄 

Did you like my goal? 🥰

Meh

I'm gonna stop dedicating them to you if you don't appreciate them 🙄

I liked it.  Though I would have liked it a lot more if it hadn't been the winning one

🙄

😚

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Who are you texting?"

"Fuck, Marina! You scared me!" I say, quickly hiding my phone.

"Was it your boyfriend?"

"I don't have a boyfriend."

"Then your no boyfriend. You were smiling like an idiot."

"I wasn't… Whatever. There is somewhere where we need to go. Here" I say, giving him one of the passes.

"What does this mean?" she says, inspecting it.

"That you are a very lucky girl. Let's go."

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Oh my God, Val. I can't believe we are in the lounge area! It is so fancy…"

"It is just a room full of people, Marina."

"Yes, but that's Anna Lewandowska over there. And Coral is over there too. We are surrounded by wags!"

"Yeah…" I say, looking around. Could I see myself hanging out with these people?

"How did you manage all this?"

"I told you I know someone" I shrug.

"Is it your no boyfriend? Does he work for Barça?"

"No."

"Val, are you dating Ferran?"

"What?" I laugh.

"I know he follows you on Instagram."

"He doesn't."

"He does. The other day I was checking who had liked that photo of us together that you posted on Christmas, and I saw him. He follows you with his private account."

"I didn't know."

"Oh, c'mon Val. Your account is private too, you know who follows you and who doesn't. And your cheeks are so red right now…" Marina chuckles. "It's fine if he's the one you are shagging, he's hot."

"I'm not…"

"Val, hey!" Ferran says behind us.

"Shit" I whisper. "Hello."

"How are you, did you enjoy the game?"

"You won, so no" I shrug.

"Always so honest… Is this your cousin?"

"Yep."

"Marina, right? Nice to meet you" he says with his best smile before kissing her cheeks.

"Hi" she giggles. "Are you Val's no boyfriend?"

"Marina!"

"If I am what?" Ferran laughs.

"Nothing, ignore her."

"Val got the tickets for today's game and these passes through someone who definitely works for Barça, this isn't available for everyone. You two follow each other on Instagram, and you clearly behave as friends, so…" she shrugs.

"Sadly, it isn't me" he says.

"But I am right about her dating someone who works for Barça, am I not?"

"Maybe" Ferran shrugs.

"Eric! You are dating Eric García! Of course! He is so your type with the beard and the hair… and when he wears his glasses he looks very posh. Totally your type!"

"He isn't my…"

"Oh my God, that's Gavi!" Marina says, grabbing my arm and squeezing it once again. "And that… Val, it's him" she gasps.

"Who?"

"Him, Val. Him! And he's coming this way with Gavi. Ok, ok… Deep breaths. How do I look?"

"Beautiful" Ferran says, making her giggle again.

"Hello, Val. And company" Pedri smiles.

"Hi" both Marina and I say at the same time and using the same silly tone. My teenage self is back, great.

"You are Marina, right?" he asks. "Nice to meet you."

"Oh my God, Val. He knows my name! Did her boyfriend tell you about me?"

"Her boyfriend?" Gavi says, his eyes wide.

"Do you have a boyfriend, Val?" Pedri asks, arching an eyebrow.

"I don't."

"They aren't official yet, but she is seeing Eric García" Marina smiles.

"What?" Gavi says, his eyes now even wider.

"He apparently is her type" Ferran chuckles.

"Is he?" Pedri asks with a teasing smile.

"He isn't. Marina is talking nonsense, don't listen to her."

"Maybe being at the Camp Nou also affects her like happens to you" he says, still smiling. "How is it going, by the way? Feeling itchy?"

"Now that you mention it, I do feel a bit itchy, yes."

"I can help and scratch you where you don't reach" Pedri smirks.

"Marina, why don't we take some photos, uh?" Ferran suddenly says. 

"Oh, yes! Please!" she smiles.

"The light is really good next to those windows. Gavi, why don't you accompany her?"

"Sure…" he says, looking at everyone with a confused look before walking away with Marina.

"You're welcome" Ferran says, crossing his arms over his chest.

"What for?" Pedri asks.

"What for? Really?" he replies, rolling his eyes. "You were shamelessly flirting in front of her. I don't know how she didn't notice."

"We weren't flirting" I snort. 

"I'm feeling itchy. I can help you where you don't reach" Ferran says with a funny voice. "You were flirting and giving each other sex eyes."

"What?" Pedri a I say at the same time.

"I get it, you haven't fucked in a while and are horny for each other. But try to tone it down in front of the kids, ok?"

"In front of the kids" I laugh. "As if you were much older."

"Whatever. Let's go take those photos with your cousin, Gavi is already asking for help" Ferran says, walking away.

"You heard him, Val. Tone it down" Pedri smirks.

"Me? You were the one who started it all!"

"But you were the one who started with sex eyes."

"I wasn't."

"You were, Val. But if you are so needy, we can meet tomorrow."

"I am not needy." Well, maybe I am a bit needy. But just a bit.

"Lunch at my place?" 

"Fine" I sigh. "Now let's go meet the others."

"Don't you want to go say hello to your boyfriend? He just walked in" he says, nodding behind him and towards where Eric is.

"Fuck you, Pedro."

"Tomorrow, Val. We are fucking tomorrow" he grins, making me roll my eyes before walking away while he just smiles like an idiot.

[tiniedemon]

— ♡

wiccan s/o headcanons

main four + butters

— ♡

disclaimer — i don’t know jack shit about the religion but i’m pretty familiar with the practice so pls excuse any mistakes

stan

— thinks it’s cool but doesn’t really understand it

— touches every crystal you own

— “no stan you can’t touch those you’re tainting them” “but they’re pretty i wanna touch them”

— asks you about every single spell jar and what it does

— definitely shakes spell jars that shouldn’t be shaken

— “baby you just hexed cartman” “fuck yes”

— drinks every jar of moon and sun water on your altar

— super curious about tarot but won’t ask

— just eyes your decks until you offer to do a reading

— takes nothing seriously

— “so this one is the hermit” “does that mean i’m getting laid”

— watches you make your spell jars

— loves meditating with you

kyle

— scared as fuck the first time he sees your altar

— doesn’t really understand the practice

— was taught that it’s evil

— refuses to come into your room until you explain everything

— still wary around all your witchy stuff

— thinks your crystals are cute

— absolutely refuses to touch anything

— “this is the self love spell i made for you” “am i gonna die” “what? no”

— won’t do much else but meditate with you

— goes to the occult shop with you one time and nearly has a heart attack

— you needed herbs and now he needs an exorcism

— eventually gets comfortable enough for a tarot reading

— has a heart attack when death shows up in his spread

— you have to calm him down from a panic attack

— loves fleetwood mac though

kenny

— thinks the whole thing is cool

— down to do anything you want him to

— listens to your witchy playlist and loves it

— makes a trip to the occult store for crystals

— leaves them under your pillow as a gift

— buys you incense and spell candles every chance he gets

— asks for tarot readings

— genuinely interested in your practice

— would ask for a spell jar for a better sex life

— you just give him a look but do it anyways

— you also place a hex on him for if he ever tries to cheat on you

— he finds that super attractive

— gives you a lock of his hair because he genuinely thinks that’s how it works

— you still kept it though

eric

— doesn’t really care either way

— the second kyle pisses him off he’s asking for a curse

— will only let you do a reading for him if you beg for weeks

— refuses to do anything else to bond with you over your practice

— flips out the first time he finds a crystal stashed in his room

— “babe it’s for protection” “like hell it is you’re trying to kill me!”

— uses the crystals you leave as weapons

— throws them at his friends all the time

— an absolute headache

— if you tell him not to use his crystals as ammunition he finds sneakier ways to do it

— truly a child when it comes to your practice

— accidentally broke something and laughed when you cried about it

butters

— respects it so much

— thinks it’s super cool

— always asking you questions about your practice

— super shy when he asks for a reading

— begs you to tell him his horoscope

— buys you crystals when he has the money

— lets you sage his apartment because he’s scared of evil energy

— tries to make a spell jar one time and completely screws it up

— cries about it for sure

— meditates with you all the time

— “y/n i found my spirit animal! my spirit guides showed me!”

— the purest ever

[norcalbruja]

The Ocean Crew just coming up and freaking me out again

Around Thanksgiving / Colonizer-Celebration day, I had a dream where I was in the sequel to Black Panther: Wakanda Forever. Then me and Tenoch Huerta found out after a party that our shit-for-brains friends took both our cars to ferry the drunk folks home without asking first, so that means two POC got stranded at midnight in the suburbs, trying to walk an hour back to my place. (It wouldn’t be overtly dangerous, but my town DOES have a Ku Klux Klan history and only really tolerates the “good/respectable” minorities, so a Brown Mexican AND a Brown Asian may not have been able to flag down anyone for help.)

I didn't think much about it because I'm a writer who has REALLY coherent dreams, in which Dream-Me also can't seem to get her shit together (seriously, she gets into some escapades!). I laughed about it and I just thought it was me being bitter about my new day-job until Namor/Kukulkan showed up in one of my meditations going, "Hello, love. Did you like the dream?"

And I was like "uhhhhhhhhhhhh yes??? Hello sir—I mean Your Majesty! Or are you actually some form of Tenoch Huerta?"

As noted with the pop-culture spirits when Eric Draven came around on Undas, I never know whether these guys are the CHARACTERS or the ACTORS. I've actually encountered Marvel-Namor a couple of times, but he is extremely high-minded and insistent on getting his way, so while he’s usually pretty civil, he’s still exhausting for my introvert commoner self to deal with.

Long story short, he is not the Feathered Serpent, but he is Mexican/Mayan and is A FUCKING BIG SNAKE (like 40-foot Titanoboa levels of Big Snake!!!). Like most of the other colonized water-spirits, Kukulkan seems to know MY Water-Spirit/Giant-Squid from... you know, Spanish colonization.

Also I’ve noticed a small but distinct pattern where indigenous reptile spirits (Ulupong the spitting cobra, Lola Buwaya the crocodile, and now Namor/Kukulkan the goddamn Titanoboa) just don’t have any fucking chill. For species that are seen as cold-blooded/uncaring and often cowardly by Westerners, the difference is really surprising.

Insert “reptile spirits with metaphorical snake-tongues” jokes here.

--

So Kukulkan refused to leave and demanded of the Water-Spirit, "What have you been doing all this time?! Are you just her attack dog and a bedwarmer?! You act like a mortal now! As if you know nothing of our kinsmen! The only thing left of you is your eyes!"

The Water-Spirit kind of flinched like they’ve talked about it before, and he told Kukulkan, “I couldn’t grant wishes even at my peak. I don’t know how much you expect me to do now.”

Kukulkan just seethed and went, “You can do more than grant wishes. You do yourself and your wife evil to think otherwise. You act like the Spanish won, but she clings to the scraps of you like a starving creature. Perhaps she should be the water-spirit. And you the young man who knows nothing of your people.”

Dionysus came over and said, “Sir, trash-talking a traumatized guy about how he acts like a squishy human might not be that motivating. Maybe tone it down a little?”

Kukulkan then snapped at him, “GODLING, LEAVE THE WATER-SPIRITS TO OUR OWN MATTERS! Your power is from your father! My power is from myself!”

So Dionysus clearly got pissed and just... left entirely. This is the second time an Extremely Old nature-spirit brushed him off as a "godling," and I think the added jab of 'you only got a job at Mount Olympus because your daddy runs the place' was another issue.

This is why Kukulkan is exhausting for me. He essentially acts like Marvel's Kukulkan--he's very capable and cares deeply about people, but he also has unnecessary shit to say if he doesn't consider YOU capable. Active/feudalistic nobility: Fun to watch/read in stories, not fun to deal with in real life, especially with my commoner ass. :/

Anyway, he took a while to stop demanding that the Water-Spirit just Get Better Already, but this morning he finally came up and admitted, "I am no idiot. I know the Spanish broke your husband's spirit. He is not the first or the last of our kin to become so."

And I'm like, "Okay, sir. Thank you for chilling out. I wish you did that a LITTLE bit earlier."

And as for their relationship dynamics, this is another instance of "these marginalized spirits are clearly Not Straight." Kukulkan and the Water-Spirit are this weird blend of "friends who lost touch" and "ex-boyfriends who had a falling out," because Kukulkan is polite to me but WAY more intense with the Water-Spirit, who also gets distinctly hurt when Kukulkan goes on his "I remember you used to be on fucking beast-mode all the time" rants.

Also, "Otherworldly Terror that doesn't fit anywhere else" note: You know how the Water-Spirit can turn into water-shaped-like-a-man, a wave, or a waterspout? I can't remember if I posted this here, but he can use his water-form to "sprint" long distances or to dissipate through various non-waterproof things.

He doesn't do it a lot because it wears him out and it also tends to freak me out as a solid-bodied human, but Kukulkan does it ALL THE TIME. He just disintegrates into a stream of water that is much bigger than an Average Human Body could hold, and then he fucking flies/teleports(???) wherever he needs to go.

[kingedmundsroyalmurder]

Big ol' content warning for sexual assault and something very, distressingly close to pedophilia. If I can on mobile, I'm gonna pop this one under a readmore.

Oh, quick addendum before we start: I'm getting very tired of the running motif of 'Larry was x but Eric was even better.' The Williamsons liked Larry but they like Eric better. Larry was a good teacher but Eric is a better one. Please, Maud, I'm begging you, stop. Let Eric stand on his own, rather than tearing his friend down to make him seem taller.

Anyway, Eric knows he loves Kilmeny now and immediately starts treating her like a child. “I am sorry you were disappointed, Kilmeny. I couldn’t come last night. Some day I shall tell you why. I stayed home to learn a new lesson. I am sorry you missed me—no, I am glad. Can you understand how a person may be glad and sorry for the same thing?”

This is a schoolmaster teaching a lesson, not a man talking to an equal. I haven't previously been seriously creeped out by how Eric talks to Kilmeny, but this is quite gross. I fear the condescension is going to skyrocket.

“Yes, very thoroughly. It was a delightful lesson when I once understood it. I must try to teach it to you some day. Come over to the old bench, Kilmeny. There is something I want to say to you. But first, will you give me a rose?”

Again, this is not reading like a man talking to the girl he has a crush on. This is, like, a parent talking to their child about mortality or something.

So Eric asks Kilmeny to introduce him to her aunt and uncle and she panics. She says they will forbid the two of them from seeing each other anymore and that they would ban her from ever going to the orchard again.

And Eric, still in schoolmaster mode, does not offer understanding, he goes, 'I know better than you and this is what we are doing.' Remember back when they first met, and he had this habit of asking her questions that were actually just orders? Yeah, that's back with a vengeance. He asked if she would introduce him, but she is not allowed to say no.

"He pitied her for the pain and bewilderment in her eyes; but he took her slender hands in his and said firmly,

“Yes, Kilmeny, I do mean it. It is not quite right for us to be meeting each other here as we have been doing, without the knowledge and consent of your friends. You cannot now understand this, but—believe me—it is so.”

Like, he's not wrong that them meeting secretly like this is not great, but he is not once considering her feelings here. He is patronizing and superior and absolutely should not be pursuing her romantically if this is how he's going to treat her emotions.

He keeps telling her that she'll understand things later. Just pat her on the head and tell her she'll understand when she's older, why don't you.

Again, the narrative has called Kilmeny a child quite a bit up to this point, but this is the first moment where it really feels like Eric is genuinely treating her like one. This is really bad given that the thing that has changed is that he now wants to marry her.

"Two great tears brimmed over in her big blue eyes and splashed down on her slate. Her lips quivered like a hurt child’s. Eric put his arm impulsively about her and drew her head down upon his shoulder. As she cried there, softly, miserably, he pressed his lips to the silky black hair with its coronal of rosebuds. He did not see two burning eyes which were looking at him over the old fence behind him with hatred and mad passion blazing in their depths. Neil Gordon was crouched there, with clenched hands and heaving breast, watching them." Oh for fuck's sake, Maud.

"She allowed herself to smile, but it was a rather forlorn little effort. She did not cry any more, but her spirits did not come back to her. Eric talked gaily, but she only listened in a pensive, absent way, as if she scarcely heard him. When he asked her to play she shook her head."

Care for her feelings? From this man? Not a chance!

“Very well, Kilmeny. Now, don’t worry, little girl. It will all come out all right.” No really though. Eric did not start treating Kilmeny like a child until he decided to marry her. This is so gross.

And then he kisses her. And she jumps away from him, scared, and runs away. And Eric thinks this: "The sweetness of that involuntary kiss clung to Eric’s lips as he went homeward, half-intoxicating him. He knew that it had opened the gates of womanhood to Kilmeny. Never again, he felt, would her eyes meet his with their old unclouded frankness. When next he looked into them he knew that he should see there the consciousness of his kiss. Behind her in the orchard that night Kilmeny had left her childhood."

In the interest of fairness, it is "involuntary" because he hadn't meant to initiate it, not because she didn't want it (although she doesn't seem to have). But the rest of it? The part where he kissed her and she didn't want him to and she will never again see him without thinking about it?

Lucy Maud, I don't think you intended to do this, but what you have written is practically assault.

[maryholdenofthevalley]

Good Omens, Season 2, Episode 6 Reaction

(Contain Spoiler)

I did this reaction in a note, because I did not want to see spoiler on Discord. When we need context, I put [context] in the brackets.

1. Crowley fake angel hopping behind Muriel like a rabbit????? SO CUTE

2. WHY KILL ERIC SO MUCH 😭😭😭😭 LEAVE HIM BEEEEEEEEE

3. Michael: lets do this

Gabriel: nu-uh

4. Shax asked if Aziraphale is Crowley's emotional support angel and I can gladly answer her with all the watching-you-eat-cake and I-like-it-when-I-rescue-you thing

5. Crowley's little encouraging hand pump to Muriel. they are so cute together.

6. Aziraphale's little terrified "ahhh" when they throw the books at demons 😭😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏🙏

7. HIS HALO

8. Eric never learn his mistake does he? To touch an angel's halo? Really?

9. ITS A FUCKING LANDMINE???

[Gabriel flashback begin]

10. They took the ineffable bureaucracy ship very seriously it seems

11. THEY REALLY TOOK IT SERIOUSLY

12. Omg they are serious. Is this how a fandom win?

13. Beelzebub likes the song, Gabriel follows, then made a miracle to keep playing it. I serious can't be sane right now.

14. THEY HANDS TOUCHED

[Beelzebub gave Gabriel the fly]

15. This is a fucking romance drama and Im living for it

16. No.

[Yeah Ineffable Bureaucracy held hand. It was not AziCrow scene.]

17. For the record, I didnt see it coming. I mean I kinda see it, but I thoughy its just my fangirl mind being delusional.

When they were going to hold hands I immediately stop and running around the house. Kneeling and crying like a pathetic bitch. I know I really say I was sobbing before but it was just dramatic talk. But I am crying right now. For real.

18. Aziraphale reaching out to Crowley I...

19. Crowley cleaning up the house before his angel comeback is so cute

(This reaction was written after 2 weeks because I have calmed down by now)

20. I kept cursing at those two for the entire confession scene. Then the kiss came and I did the same as 17 for a few minutes before I continue the episode. I was dead the entire time after that, just watching them driving and smiling in the elevator with a dumb face. When the credit end, I threw away the headphone and sobbing for a few more minutes while my family members look at me weirdly (they don't watch it. good for them, good for them). I was never the same after that. I can't focus on any other fandom. I have been dead for 2 weeks, but also making a lot of theories and conclusions. I made a world building sheet for the show. It was fun. I'm not normal yet.

Anyway, thank you Neil Gaiman for making season 2! Now we desperately need season 3! I wish for the strike to go smootly and we all get what we need to get!

[einsteinsugly]

I'm sending this to three T70s blogs! What are your very most controversial/unpopular That 70s Show opinions? To get the ball rolling, I'll confess a few of mine since I'm on anon and can't be attacked :) 1. I always shipped Jackie/Eric to the point where they're a true OTP of mine. I have no idea why. Usually when I ship non-canon couples, it's because they're very close friends whose personalities seem incredibly compatible to me...but Jackie and Eric aren't especially close (despite being in the same general group), and they don't seem very compatible or even to care about and respect each other that much. (Though Jackie's "hero" line melts me!) Tbh, it probably just comes down to the fact that Jackie and Eric are by far my two favorite characters. I love analyzing, writing about them, and envisioning how they might have worked if I conveniently ignore 97% of canon. I'm pathetic :) 2. I wouldn't really like Hyde in real life and don't think he was a particularly good romantic partner at all. (*ducks*) I mean, he was an improvement over Kelso, but who isn't?! I just think fandom idealizes him a bit too much. It's a matter of taste, though---the super 'edgy, rebel, proudly rude, 'duuude, I shoplift and smoke a lot of weed and would rather set myself on fire than eat in a mainstream chain restaurant' kind of guys just aren't my personal type :) 3. Sort of related to the first two confessions: I don't think Jackie and Hyde would make each other happy long term. They had some wonderful moments on the show, but I really just don't think they'd give each other what they want. 4. I don't really get how some newer fans turn Laurie into this root-worthy 'girlboss' who's just misunderstood- she's supposed to be unrepentantly, hilariously terrible, and she is! Sometimes it really is as simple as that :) 5. (*whispers*) More often than not, I enjoy Kelso. Obviously as a boyfriend to Jackie, but as a character who - for me - really does add a lot of humor and energy to the show. i can't wait to read yours, and please don't hate me for mine!

Don't you mean, obviously not as a boyfriend to Jackie?

To your points.

1. Jackie and Hyde can work long term, to me. They're stubborn, but they give eachother what they want. Love and stability.

2. I do think Laurie was mistreated by her mother and was unrightfully slut shamed. However, she goes beyond this, and willingly home wrecks. Ultimately, she falls back into her old patterns whenever things get hard. She has potential to be better, but she is morally grey, if you will. She is willing to do almost anything to get what she wants.

*****

Okay, now mine.

1. I've said this before, but I think T9S is worse than season 8. If only because season 8 is way easier to fix.

2. I tend to regard season 8 as canon, if only because it logistically meshes (unfortunately). Both post-season 8 and post-season 7 verses are canon. T9S is not, since it logistically clashes with both, in a huge way (*cough* sixteen year old Jay *cough*).

3. I do not think Jackie can truly overcome all of her conservative biases via Hyde. She would really struggle to accept a child that seriously strays from the norm. It sucks. It's one of those things where she outwardly accepts it, to be politically correct, but it's obvious that it's not how she really feels. She'd ultimately accept a gay or bi kid, but it would take her years to accept a trans/gender non-conforming kid. And even then, she still wouldn't get it/understand it.

4. Okay, T7S takes place in the past. Blatant historical anachronisms, to adhere to modern standards, do way more harm than good. It leads some readers to believe things were better than they actually were, which is a fucking disservice. I strive to be historically accurate, not just in material things, but in attitudes too. It varies from character to character, but still.

5. Jackie, for the most part, would be awful irl. I've met good Jackies in the past, but a lot of bad ones, too (*cough* family members *cough*).

6. Only Jackie, and maybe Fez, would be a Swiftie.

[tatjana-fantasy]

Why Rachel King from House of Ashes is actually an amazing character

First off: It's completely okay if you don't like Rachel! Different people are drawn to different characters. Nobody is forced to like a character they simply don't vibe with. This is just my view of a character who I personally think is both overhated and underrated. More under the cut.

I want to preface this by saying that I believe every choice a character can make is, in at least one universe, canon for that character. This often hurts to think about, since there are a lot of choices that feel very ooc, but in my opinion, they wouldn't even be an option if they truly didn't fit at least one tiny part in a character's personality. But now let's talk about Rachel.

Many people see her as the "Queen Bitch" and nothing more. And to be fair, that's definitely what she's going for. She wears this nickname "like a fucking badge of honor," as she can reveal to Clarice. But why? Why would she like to be known as the Queen Bitch?

The reason is simple and revealed in the same conversation: "You think I got where I am with a soft word and a warm smile?" (No. Of course not.) "I had to graft to get here. [...] They have no idea the shithill I've climbed to just get where I am right now."

I can't even begin to explain how incredibely sad this actually is. Rachel had to become the Queen Bitch because she wouldn't have been taken seriously otherwise. As a woman in the military, being soft and warm simply wasn't an option. Characters like Merwin already make sexist jokes about women – imagine how he would've treated Rachel if she wouldn't have established her status, but tried to treat him nicely instead. The only way Rachel could find respect was by becoming the Queen Bitch. She put on a mask (quite similar to Jason, actually) and eventually, the mask became a crucial part of her personality.

But that's not all. The "shithill" she climbed? This is likely the amount of knowledge she had to gather in order to become the leader of her group. She can speak Arabic, which is one of the most difficult languages to learn. She possesses great historical knowledge, being able to easily recognize stuff like Pagan effigies, a Pazuzu statue and Sumerian cuneiform. Eric sums it up nicely: She's quite an expert on history.

But do you know what's the most baffling thing about all of this? Rachel is the only character who possesses these abilities. No one else in her team can speak or understand Arabic. Nick flat-out admits that he fluked history in school. And the very noteworthy thing about this is the fact that the rest of Rachel's group are all men. To me, it seems like Rachel, because she's a woman, had to prove herself more than the men had to, and gather a lot more knowledge in a lot more areas. This also explains why she's so protective over her status, since she worked her ass off in order to earn it.

"But," I hear some of you say, "she cheated on Eric! And she can shoot Salim! And she says bullshit like 'I was stronger than them all'!"

Okay, let's start with the cheating first. You know, on the one hand, I absolutely hate cheating (I mean, if you get together with someone who cheats on their partner, how can you expect them to be loyal to you?), but on the other hand, Rachel's situation is a little different than a lot of other cheating scenarios I've encountered. She didn't see Eric for a full year, their marriage basically only existed on paper. Rachel was ready to move on. And your heart doesn't choose whom to fall in love with. To Rachel, it probably didn't even feel like cheating, considering how long she has been separated from Eric. Out of sight, out of mind. No, it does not excuse her actions, but for me, it does make it more understandable. Plus, it's something she eventually overcomes, choosing either Eric, Nick, or neither, so I can't be too mad at her about that.

I'm always surprised when people bring up Rachel shooting Salim though, since it takes a lot of set-up. If you dislike a character for doing something in a super obscure path that requires multiple specific choices across the entire game, shouldn't you also dislike a character like Jason, who is only two choices away from leaving Salim behind to die? Not to mention, this path also requires Jason to shoot an innocent shepherd who did absolutely nothing to him. Yet, I haven't seen anyone hating him for that. Personally, I can totally understand why Rachel, after she lost her husband to an enemy soldier, would want to avenge him; even in the path where she and Eric didn't get along, Salim robbed them of the chance of changing that. And in the path where they did get along ... she just lost the love of her life. I think a lot of people would be pretty vengeful after that. Not to mention, Salim's situation does look very shady, first killing Eric and then returning without Jason. Who wouldn't suspect that he had something to do with his death?

Some people also complain that Rachel doesn't want to give Salim a gun even if you make the best choices. But I think many people forget that Rachel and Salim almost had no interactions with each other, and certainly didn't have time to establish a trustworthy bond. Jason himself doesn't trust Salim with a gun in their determinant second-ish meeting, after Salim surrenders to him when Eric is already dead. Unlike Rachel, he can change his opinion, but only because he actually got to know Salim - Rachel, however, didn't. Of course she doesn't trust him with a gun. In the midst of war, you probably wouldn't want to give your enemy a weapon, either.

Rachel's line how she was "stronger than them all" is ... quite awful, tbh. No matter if she means her fellow comrades or the vampires, she definitely didn't do as much as the others. But while I do think that the line is pretty bad and while I do wish it wouldn't be the last thing we ever heard from her, here's the thing: I don't want to judge characters by a single line they said. People say questionable stuff all the time, both in real life and in fictional stories. But judging them solely based on one weak moment? Not something I want to do, so that line didn't influence my opinion on her character.

This brings me to Rachel's compassionate, heroic side – a side of hers that is frequently forgotten. In general, she can show her nicer side to people that are on the same level as her - most notably, Clarice and Eric. They are people where Rachel doesn't have to worry that they'll suddenly start to treat her like a lesser being for being more than the "Queen Bitch", so she feels more comfortable opening up to them.

Her compassionate side is shown first during the raid, I believe, where it's very important to her that Jason doesn't kill any innocent civilians. She herself can shoot one of them, but she doesn't do it out of fun, but to protect Jason from an attacking shepherd.

A few chapters later, there's the Rope Scene. Originally, Rachel was supposed to cut herself free in the Theatrical Cut if her relationship with Eric was high enough, but due to an earlier scene being cut, this is not possible anymore; instead, she can cut the rope in the Curator's Cut regardless of relationship. This is the first difficult choice she has to make: Potentially sacrificing her life in order to save Eric. It's an action that takes an incredible amount of courage, so I really appreciate that it is a choice that Rachel can make.

The next time we see Rachel, she's in the bloody pit, escaping from a vampire and meeting Clarice. I already talked about how Rachel can show her compassionate side here, potentially opening up to Clarice. But what I love the most is the fact that Rachel is very firm when it comes to helping her. Of course, she can also choose to leave Clarice behind, but it's very notable that once she was brought back, Rachel constantly insists that she needs help and shouldn't be abandoned. I really appreciate her loyalty here, since she's pretty much the only character who is on Clarice's side, the only one who doesn't want to give up on her. While helping her sadly doesn't work (which Rachel eventually realizes), I love Rachel for being the only one who at least wants to try.

When it comes to awesome scenes, Rachel and the machine gun come to mind, but my actual favorite scene takes place a few chapters later. When Rachel's infection threatens to overwhelm her and she has the option to kill herself with WP. She's only the second character in the anthology who can make the intentional decision to kill herself. In her case, she does it to protect the others – which is such a heroic choice that I'm surprised not more people mention it. Jason can also sort-of get infected, but he never seems to be worried about turning into a vampire; Rachel however does worry, and can choose a rather horrifying death to stop herself from potentially harming the others.

And it doesn't stop there. If she doesn't use WP (or simply doesn't have it), she can still beg Jason to shoot her in order to avoid turning. And if he doesn't shoot her, she can still volunteer to be cocooned, not knowing if the others will actually come back for her. Of course, she can also choose the opposite of these decisions - but I think that's more than understandable. Who would want to die a horrible death or live forever in a cocoon? Hopefully nobody. Which makes it even more awesome that Rachel has the choice to do so.

I wouldn't say that Rachel is my favorite character, btw. She can be a little too abrasive at times and her character revolves a little too much around finding a love interest. But she's still a brave, strong woman – and, in my opinion, one of the most underrated characters in the anthology.

[unitedbydevils]

A dressing room leakier than Old Trafford's roof: why fans must ignore the nonsense

Another day of drama for Manchester United. Another day of ridiculous media coverage because guess which club has the biggest news pull.. that's right, it's the (temporarily not so) mighty reds.

Unity is needed to fix our poor form, but I think an inquisition is needed to root out the leakers because it's boring. Years of shit being passed out from Carrington like it's a paper note in a classroom. Grow up.

Does Erik Ten Hag have favourites? Perhaps. Does this mean you should down tools? Absolutely not. The attitude here forgets several things:

You are an asset in of yourself. If you give up, other teams notice. This will lessen your value for a sale.

It also reduces your personal growth as a player. 6 months of not trying might have been the period where you level up your skill set and playstyle.

Football is a game of small margins. Anything less than your best could be the difference between a salvaged point and a painful defeat.

The rumoured leakers are obvious: Sancho, Maguire, McTominay, and maybe Donny Van de Beek (I doubt this last one). Henderson was also rumoured to be leaking before, as was Eric Bailly. Disgruntled players are the obvious suspects, and normally it's correct.

Roy Keane, seen here on Sky Sports, has the right take: players are failing to take responsibility for their poor performances, and are giving up too easily. Could ETH make better subs or quicker tactical changes? Sure. But it's his second season, having finished 3rd, won the League Cup, and reached the FA Cup final, all with Weghorst up front for crying out loud. Give the man a chance, believe in his plans. We can't keep cycling through managers. United will just be a graveyard for talent and a money pit.

The latest 'leak' or drama is about David De Gea's departure. People have short memories. He was a good goalkeeper, and kept United alive for many shitty seasons, but his last few years saw his shot stopping - the star attribute - fall off in terms of stats and success. This is an issue. Onana is a solid replacement for the keeping metrics, but with great feet to help play out from the back.

Our current form isn't derived from Onana playing badly. It's derived from an injured Varane showing the gulf of skill between him and Lindelof, and how important Varane is to getting the best out of Lissandro Martinez. Hence the need for Kim Min Jae in the summer.

Beyond that, Eriksen starting games at 31 with a heart condition. What the fuck. Casemiro looks overweight and slow and needs to be eased in to the season. Last year he played more games in the season than he EVER did at Madrid. Ever. They're playing though because Mount, Amrabat, Mainoo are all injured. All three would be playing if they were fit. They might all feature tomorrow versus Burnley, and they'll make a huge difference going forward.

The media is to blame as much as the players though. The Daily Mail published an article about Onana dropping his car keys. How is that journalism? The same goes for Samuel Luckhurst, seen above. There's a lot of stirring the pot to cause drama, to generate clicks.

The reality is that people shouldn't be taking the Manchester Evening News (M.E.N) seriously because they're clickbait these days. The death of local/regional news; clamouring for clicks and views rather than offering actual substance and building loyalty and respect.

United are in a rough spot, and perhaps this poor start means we fail to make the top 4 this season, but if - in the grand scheme of things - Ten Hag gets United playing the way he wants to then so be it. I want us fixed, and I'm willing to back this manager to get it done. If everyone was pulling the same way, trying, and it just wasn't working then fair dos, Erik might not be the man, but no. He hasn't had his preferred first XI. He hasn't had players properly trying. He's had issues with leaks, player insubordination, scandals off the field, and the takeover farse.

There are better managers, but I guarantee they cannot be arsed with United and the Glazers. Lets get behind Ten Hag, back his authority, lose the dregs and crybabies, and see what we can achieve with a committed squad of battlers and ballers. Up the reds.

[ladyshandioftheendless]

6 and 15 for KISS ask 💜

Thank you, Kylie! 💜

6. Say something nice about each member

OH HO, A CHALLENGE! OKAY!

Paul - Like I can ever say anything mean about him. I couldn't even if I tried. HE'S MY REASON FOR LIVING! But seriously, after reading his books, I can't not admire him for getting through all the things he's been through to get where he is. He's an inspiration~

Gene - Fuck, the band wouldn't be where it is today without him and Paul. THE MAN'S GOT AMBITION. And considering where he came from, HE FUCKING WENT OUT THERE AND GOT WHAT HE WANTED.

Ace - I've always been jealous of his flexibility, ngl. XD He also had great stage presentation. Still does!

Peter - I don't care what anybody says. He was a talented drummer, and he had a fantastic voice. And omg he's such a cute old man now~

Eric C. - I have honestly never seen any drummer have his enthusiasm. He was amazing, and I love him to this day. RIP 🧡

Mark - I have nothing nice to say about him. Moving on.

Vinnie - I'll admit, I didn't like him much at first. But now that I know everything that he's been through, I admire him SO MUCH. He's still a dynamite guitarist and singer~

Bruce - HE IS THE SWEETEST EVER AND HE DESERVES EVERYTHING. And talk about guitar skills? He's got it!!

Eric S. - Anybody who says he doesn't deserve to wear the CatMan makeup? THEY'RE WRONG. He's adorable, he's a skilled drummer, he also has great legs~

Tommy - THE GUY WENT FROM TECHNICALLY BEING A ROADIE FOR THE BAND TO BEING IN THE BAND. WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE ABOUT THAT?? HE'S LIVING THE DREAM!! Also, he is an absolute sweetheart~

15. A question you would ask the band if you could?

Can you guys all be friends again, please, and thank you??

[birbsandbats]

intro and fanfic links

Hiya! I’m Spee (she/her) and I write stuff. I got my start eons ago writing for the Star Wars fandom. After a long break, I’ve begun to write again focusing on the DC Comics universe, including the DC/White Collar (TV) crossover. I hope you enjoy!

Please carefully mind the Ao3 tags on all the below fics.

A Defense Mechanism -- A DC/White Collar crossover. Longfic.

Neal Caffrey is a nonviolent con who doesn’t care about breaking the law.

Before, he was Dick Grayson, a violent vigilante who did.

He's running from his past.

What will he do when the past comes to him?

Magic

Being Robin gives Jason magic.

Tim wants some of that magic, too.

For DC Dark Week Day 4--Interpersonal Dynamics

Deadman

Alfred Pennyworth waited.

He knew the man in the mask would come for him soon.

For DC Dark Week Day 2--Major Character Death

Golden Boy -- Part 1 of a ? part series

The first and last time Batman fires Dick Grayson as Robin, Dick is 13 years old.

He never comes back.

What does this mean for Dick's life--and Jason Todd's?

Day 6: Never returns after getting fired

One Spiteful Speedster — a DC/White Collar crossover

Peter Burke is about to learn what happens when he messes with Wally West's boyfriend. 

Training Day: Gotham City 911 Edition

“Could you at least help me out here? The mall is about to explode!”

“Meh. It’s gone downhill since the Macy’s closed,” Pilar said.

“Meh??” Eric sputtered. “How can you not take this seriously?”

“The Riddler isn’t even an A level villain anymore. I think you and Robin can handle him, newbie.”

or: Eric Richards knows nothing about Gotham City--which would be fine, if he weren't its newest 911 operator.

Watch This -- Part 1 of a ? part series

 Jim Gordon sighed into his club soda.

 He wasn’t a schmoozer. He didn’t like to schmooze. He was a cop, dammit, not some show pony to be trotted out by the city when they needed more funds or higher approval ratings. Yet here he was, at the seasonal GCPD/Wayne gala, shaking hands and kissing babies. Well, not literally the last part; there were no babies here. They cried through speeches and weren’t big into shrimp cocktail anyway.

 He liked to think his job was one of action, not politics, but who was he kidding? His fate had been sealed the moment he decided it would be cheaper to buy a tux than to keep renting.

or: Jim Gordon mingles with Bruce Wayne and his young ward at a gala. Later that night, he briefs Batman and Robin on the GCPD rooftop. He might notice some similarities.

Batgirl Fills Out the FAFSA

Dick did a little forehead wrinkle that, in Stephanie’s professional opinion as a bat, looked too adorably clueless for him to pass as Batman at the moment, despite being in the suit. “Right. I know what the FAFSA is. But why are you filling it out?”

Could…Dick be secretly dumb? Like, she knew he wasn’t the World’s Greatest Detective, or even the World’s Second Greatest Detective (an honor belonging to her ex), but she had pretty much assumed he was the Third.

Or: Stephanie is applying to colleges. Who knew that Bruce's emotional incompetence could make the process more tricky even when he's not there. Dick attempts to help out.

The Essential Arkham Asylum Playlist

"No!" Nightwing said. "It's just--and don't take this the wrong way--have you considered listening to something more, uh...cheerful?"

“Get the fuck out of my room."

Or: Naomi expected some weirdness when she checked herself into Arkham Lite™, but unconscious costumed vigilantes, visitors coming in through the windows, and critiques of her taste in music had not been on her list.

[obsidiancreates]

Meet Mondo Gecko Liveblog

Oh no, Mikey's experiencing ADHD understimulation! This is a dire emergency, it's the worst feeling ever.

Raph. You're embarrassed for Mikey to catch you playing with action figures? That. Wh-why?

Oh Donnie don't condescend- he's condescending. Wait, no, he was in hyperfixation mode and started happily infodumping. That was just Autism meets ADHD.

CASEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY HE'S BORED TOO YESSS MIKEY AND CASEY HANGOUTTTTTTTTTTT THEY'RE SKATING ON ROOFTOPS TOGETHER YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Who the fuck?

Casey how often do you say "Another mutant?" in that exact tone of voice?

No no Skatermander was good. Way better than Mondo Gecko.

Yeah I'd attack them too if they picked "Mondo Gecko" over "Skatermander". That's just disrespectful. That's cruel.

SERIOUSLY WHY WASN'T THIS THE THEME ANIMATIONS WHEN THEY WERE ACTUALLY IN THE FUCKING FARMHOUSE?!?!?!

Oh I hate Mondo, actually.

Casey, you don't know what a Gecko is? How?

Awwww, this is nice! Mondo likes being a mutant! That's fun!

Wait but what happened to Lars? Is Lars okay? HIS PARENTS KICKED HIM OUT?!?!?!?!?!? I HAVE TO KILL THEM I NO LONGER HATE MONDO

Listen to Casey, maybe? Maybe Casey has good intuition?

WHY DID YOU GUYS KNOCK OVER THE HOMELESS MAN'S CART?!?!?!?!

MIKEY NO I ALSO PREFER BOOYAKASHA BUT DON'T FUCKING DISS THE COWABUNGA

Yes Goongala is also good, Casey.

Old scho- I see you writers and I detest you

Oh Caseyyyyyyyy! My boyyyy!

Oh Mikey, I try so hard to defend your intelligence...

Oh good... Hun is back... KICK HIS ASS CASEY- PFFFFF CASEY LITERALLY SAID "EUGH" I LOVE HIM

CASEYYYYYYYYYYYYYY SWEETIEEEEE

Oh Mondo. Please stop being annoying so I can sympathize with you.

Yeah this part of the season is. I'm feeling bored. Everyone is irritating. Except Casey. I am happy that Donnie hasn't been Weird about April in a while, though.

CASEY LEARNED SELF-RESTRAINT YAY

Pfffft 4 Cops from Casey.

MONDO SHEESH

OUT LIKE YOUR MOM IN A BEAUTY PAGENT?!?!?!?!? CASEY THAT WAS A DEATHBLOW AND ALSO SEXIST WTF

Mikey, uh. Maybe don't choose Mondo over Casey

CASEY NOOO HE GOT GOT

Awww Raph and Donnie gaming against each other! Raph wanting to hang with Casey! Good stuff! I'm savoring breadcrumbs here people, the water is getting thin.

... Mr... X? I... worry. ... Is it Rat King?

MIKEY IN A CAGE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OH OF COURSE IT'S XEVER OF COURSE IT'S XEVER HIS NAME LITERALLY HAS AN X

Does Xever run an underground death skateboarding competition? Holy shit, he does. What?

HE GOT CASEY TOO NO

I wish I felt bad that Mondo got caught but. i feel very little for him. I'm sad he got kicked out but that's the exte- is that the We Will Rock You beat in the backgroun?

HOW MANY FUCKING MUTANTS ARE OUT THERE WHAT

IT'S TRUE HE IS SMART JUST A PARTY DUDE

OBLIGATORY HUMAN ALLY OH GOD WAIT HE IS OH NO XEVER KNOWS HIS TV TROPE CHARACTER TYPE oh Casey sweetie you're really not paying attention in English are you?

Love that none of the voice actors for the other mutants are here so they're just making grunting noises.

XEVER IS A SKATER?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? I guess it adds up but I-I'm still surprised. Oh okay they got Baxter's VA.

CASEY FOR THE WIN CASEY FOR THE WI- Spiderbytes is in the audience?

HEY XEVER HAS ROCKET BOOSTERS WHAT A FUCING CHEATER

Oh there we go we got Clancy and Eric to say one line each

XEVER YOU BITCH

GOOD JOB MIKEY GOOD JOB CASEY I'M SO PROUD OF YOU BOTH

His fish... respond... to shouts? Above water?

Pffff good reaction shot

I'm getting bored with this one, not gonna lie. A fish was implied to bite Mikey's nuts and like I'm just kinda tired of this stuff.How'd we go from the Golden Standard of Dream Beavers to many episodes in a row that are so... not... great?

I did like that Casey's solution was "Whack Mondo as hard as possible to win by any means necessary".

Yaah I'm with April instant "Eugh" after Mondo did a Sexist.

Oh Mikey broke the fourth wall again. Okay.

I'm tired. These episodes have like... like they're full of energy... but not the right energy.