#no images or whatever but since these ask about fanfiction. well. u know.

[rainydaze-rhys]

Do all 25 for borderlands. Yknow. For funsies.

There will be a readmore line here somehow because on god I’m about to say so much. let me preface: all my hot takes on the matter are a solid 4 years old at minimum, I do not keep up to date on the blands fandom, my enjoyment of the series exists exclusively in isolation these days, etc., etc., if things have changed then I simply do not know about it

1. the character everyone gets wrong

Handsome Jack. He is not a good dad. He is also not in his 30s. That man has an adult daughter and has been married twice. I refuse to believe he was anything under 50 during BL2.

2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

DHKDGDJSHDJDJ I sure did forget this was one of the questions. Um. My faves are all verse and no one would refuse to do one thing or another.

3. description of the worst take you’ve seen on tumblr

I saved this for last and then still couldn’t bring myself to remember anything so this doesn’t get an answer because I simply do not want to remind myself of those takes

4. what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?

Back in my borderlands days I was afraid of blocking people so I simply did not do it. Took me until only a couple years ago to finally realize “Oh this rules and significantly improves my online experience” and now I block all the time, but this is an entirely separate blog from my borderlands one so it doesn’t have any crossover

5. worst discord server and why?

This one I can’t answer. Discord wasn’t a thing for my original dive into borderlands. We all were just on tumblr constantly and then me and a few friends also talked on Skype

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

Handsome jack/Rhys. I mean I was there. I was in the thick of it. I could see it. But oh my god the braindead takes on it and the aggressive insistence that it was basically canon! The number of people who actively harassed people who liked the actual in-game love interests! The amount of times I saw people say “I don’t personally like this so I’d rather people not discuss it around me” only to be bombarded with dozens of responses discussing it in detail! Wretched! One of the all-time worst collective cases of people insisting the biggest and most popular ship was effectively canon and getting mad at anyone saying otherwise

7. what character did you begin to hate because not because of canon but because of how the fandom acts about them?

Handsome Jack. lol. lmao.

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

Handsome Jack is a dogshit father and every single fluff piece or “Happy father’s day lol” post or headcanon about him being a good dad to Angel is dead wrong to an astounding degree. He put her in a cage and used her as a computer for her entire life and frankly she should have gotten to kill him

9. worst part of canon

Borderlands 3.

I was going to say “I kid” but I don’t. It has its moments, but god, it sucks so bad. Killing Maya, replacing Angel with Tannis, writing off Lilith, doing what they did with Aurelia (she would NOT fuck that man), flanderizing the characters from TftBL (Vaughn’s… whole situation…), and— god I just remembered mid-sentence that New Tales exists. That one was actually worse than BL3 somehow.

10. worst part of fanon

Handsome Jack. I’m just gonna keep saying this for basically every question that asks about the bad parts of fandom because literally… him and the people rabidly defending him. (<- he is my favorite character and also I think he deserved worse than he got. these are not mutually exclusive)

11, number of fandom-related words you’ve filtered

See above re: blocking people, I didn’t filter things at the time and on this blog I follow almost no one who posts borderlands content

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

Fiona is weirdly unpopular given that she’s literally a protagonist. The same with Lilith, actually, now that I think about it; people seem to either be “meh” about her or frothing-at-the-mouth enraged about her. And they’re wrong! Fiona is a great character who deserved to actually fucking exist in bl3, and Lilith is really well written as understandably arrogant and capable! Also, Nakayama and Vasquez. I can’t take credit for being into those two because other people with extremely good taste did it first and influenced me, but it remains true. And ELLIE. I know “unpopular” isn’t strictly true of her because I think most people would say they like her, but Ellie is a gold star across every game she’s in and I wish there was even more of her and I wish people appreciated her more. Love Ellie.

13. worst blorbofication

. handsome jack.

14. that one thing you see in fics all the time

So many borderlands fics are a/b/o. Mpreg is like the DEFAULT. It boggles the mind. “Rhys Borderlands is Handsome Jack’s PA and then he goes into heat in his boss’s office and Jack is such a ruggedly masculine alpha he takes suuuuch good care of him!” Gives me the ick. One thing they don’t tell you about naming yourself after a video game character is the rammys when you try to read a fic and see Your Own Name in those situations.

15. that one thing you see in fanart all the time

I actually don’t really remember the fanart well enough to say about this. I vaguely remember a lot of art of Rhys Borderlands strung up like a puppet controlled by Jack, but beyond that, I’unno

16. you can’t understand why so many people like this thing

Can I be very fully and entirely honest. I don’t love Tim. I don’t hate Tim! And I’ve turned around on him a lot, his appearance in the Handsome Jackpot DLC in bl3 is phenomenal and he’s a great character! And it’s a super interesting concept! I just still don’t love him.

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

I want more fics where Angel survives and gets out from under Jack’s influence. Let the Crimson Raiders be her new parents. I want her to be Maya’s best friend and I want her to date Gaige and I want her to be there in person to kick Jack in the dick when he loses badly and then dies.

18. it’s absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on…

The Pre-Sequel. The Pre-Sequel. The Pre-Sequel. YES the gameplay can be tedious at times. However. I love the Pre-Sequel so much. Love the writing. Adore the plot. Cherish the individual Vault Hunters. The Claptastic DLC remains one of my favorite DLCs. Love Elpis. Fucking love Janey Springs. Hate the way they left so many loose ends to be tied up plot-wise and then just kinda went “lol nvm all that” in the next game.

19. you’re mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like…

IYKYK ;)

20. part of canon you found tedious or boring

A lot of the Pre-Sequel is going back and forth across very large open areas using Stingrays which are a vehicle I do not love. A lot of BL3 is also going back and forth across very large open areas using vehicles which control like the Stingrays. There are so many quests that are just “drive around and kill 30 guys and pick up 8 items then drive here and kill 30 animals and pick up 8 more items then drive back and kill 30 guys and give me the items.”

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

I don’t really think there are overhyped things unless BL3 entirely counts as overhyped, which… not anymore. Honestly most of the stuff that’s hyped is fairly understandable. The most popular DLCs are inevitably the ones which are the most well-written with interesting mechanics.

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

I already said the Pre-Sequel. Uh, if “everyone else” includes the writers, then TftBL, because they absolutely just threw all of that except Rhys and Vaughn in the trash and then ran those two through a meat grinder.

23. ship you’ve unwillingly come around to

No “unwilling” about ‘em, I’m usually pretty much open to whatever, but I also don’t even poke my head into the tags these days so I haven’t experienWAIT no I just remembered Zer0/Rhys is a thing. I used to not like it. I do now. Silly goofy.

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

“Is it okay to like Handsome Jack?” I will not be elaborating because thinking too much about the endless debates gives me hives

25. common fandom complaint that you’re sick of hearing

Once again I am too disconnected from the greater fandom these days to actually know and be annoyed by what people are complaining about.

[ryoceann]

Hi. Itk here. Believe me, don't, doesn't matter. Thought I'd drop (after you summoned ha) by given the chaos and try to enlighten the ones who choose to believe me, as much as I'm capable of.

The first thing I wanna say is: stop trying to figure out their relationship. You most likely never will. Fans are stuck on both extremes, when the actuality of it is far more in the middle (perhaps even up or down and all around ha). It's complex and strange and not at all "normal" (as normal as they could be, anyways).

It's not as simple as "oh they're just a closeted couple who engage in bearding and have kids and behind closed doors they're just a regular, old married couple and a big, happy rainbow family".

Doesn't sound like itk info, believe me, I get that but observing the fandom I'd say it almost is because most fans simply hang on extreme simplistic ideas of what their relationship is.

Second thing I'd like to say and unfortunately seems like it's not at all obvious but: do not believe anything they share publicly. Not saying they're lying compulsively, but they are public figures and they have a lot at stake to just casually drop the actual truth of any given situation.

Just don't. The same salt you have regarding itks, have towards them. It'd do you some good...Believe me. Unless you are involved in the entertainment or political life, you cannot even begin to fathom what it's really like, the level of manipulation, falsehood and well, overall deviation of it. It's quite disturbing tbh. So just always take whatever's said and shown with a good amount of salt. With public people hardly anything is accidental or casual.

I think the most prominent question now is...Why? Why would they do something like that? Regardless if you have the ingenuity to believe the little scene they made or not...Still, the question lingers.

With my level of "in the knowness" I cannot for sure say the real reason, yet from the pieces I've collected so far, seems to be a multiple gain scheme. It was a high risk, they were well aware, and it paid out in the way they were expecting, minus small bumps here and there. But overall it seemed to have worked in their favor. How in the hell, one would ask?

Believe me, I used my best sneaky capabilities to find out exactly why but they were smart enough to keep this one locked tight, minus a few loose lips. And from those all I've heard was that "whatever the purpose was, it worked out".

As weird as it may sound to the innocent mind, it's actually not at all, given that even leaked nudes are not at all leaked or accidental, and those tend to (at least in the past) get immense amount of backlash. It's not the first time famous folks fake a fight, surely won't be the last.

A lot goes into public image, it's not black and white as "well but it looked bad on Jensen", "it looked bad on the prequel", etc. You'd be surprised as how little this truly matters given the level of manipulation they are able to pull on the public. And well, even with them...It happens all the time. Both made mistakes far worse than just "not telling my bestie about my new project" and fans would eventually let that go and put them back on the pedestal.

So just remember, always: not in the industry? then don't judge anything because you simply do not understand how it works.

Another piece of itk information I can give besides "this was planned and it worked" is: they are fine. From what I've heard they are not fighting over it or going through anything more dramatic than what they usually have been going through ever since they met haha.

So just sit back and chill out. Breathe, read fanfiction and remember that we will never truly get answers, because even what comes out of their mouths are most of the time carefully thought out and directed to have a specific meaning and effect (why do you think Jared mumbles and rambles so much?).

Another interesting piece of itk: you know how they always say they never fight? Even though that sounds insanely hard to believe even if they were just friends because who knows someone for that long and is constantly together and never fights? Unlikely, right? Yes, as obvious as that was. But unfortunately a lot of you seem to believe that, given the level of shock you had for this little twitter feud (as fake as it was). Yeah. They fight. A lot.

They fight as much as individuals in their situation would. Like I said, not at all what most people absentmindedly seem to think it is. They go through a lot. Way more than anyone who isn't in a similar situation would understand. It's messy, although they try their best to make it simpler in the ways they can.

On top of being in a very complex situation, they both have strong personalities and one of them is quite hard to "pin down". So altercations happen a lot, but they know how to deal, and they are exceptionally good at making sure that doesn't interfere in their work (oh well, at least not any work that doesn't benefit from intense emotional exchanges, anyways 😉...chemistry isn't something random, you know? haha).

I find it quite...interesting (to put it nicely) that a lot of hats easily believe they are a couple that lies constantly about almost every aspect of their lives, yet, they cannot believe they would fake a social media narrative. It makes no sense whatsoever.

It'd do you all good to be a little less tendentious and look at them as, you know...Humans? They are not what they seem to be, just as you guys also take in different versions of yourselves in different situations, they do too. And don't be so hopelessly naive to actually believe they see fans as "hashtag family". This is their work. And as grateful as they are for supporters, they certainly do not consider them family. To the point of never lying and trusting you with their life.

I'm sure they love their fans, but come on, saying they would never lie because that's mean to fans is just beyond naive. They've been doing it all along and oh, another interesting info? They don't think they're doing anything wrong.

Yeah, sounds weird, you'd think they'd feel guilty. But again, unless you were media trained, you'd never get it.

From years now if there's one consistent info I've gotten was this: they don't feel obligated to tell you anything. They believe they are doing "what they are supposed to do, the right thing for everyone involved".

So. Yeah. And hell, they are right about not being obligated to say anything about anything, I guess.

Well, I hope that was helpful or at least entertaining. It's hard to share info without accidentally making it obvious who I am for the lurkers (sure you guys were well aware that they lurk around the fandom). But it's safe because as long as I don't provide evidence, I'm fine. Just walking a thin line between sharing and not sharing something too specific that would be easy fir them to know who has that info and although they can't do anything against itks, they can manage to cut us off somehow and I enjoy having access lol, so that'd be a bummer.

Anyways, take itks and J2 themselves with a ton of salt haha! You are lovely, btw, you seem very kind and I enjoy your blog very much! much love!

itk anon everything you said was <333 and i agree with like almost all of it. very nice analysis and ask thank you ! i don't always believe everything j2 put out but the whole stunt being a false narrative just seems wrong so idk what to make of it. regardless i myself can sometimes get carried away in my star-struck love of j2. and i am a tinhat so well :) and now they look to be really good and taking a break from here was well worth it <3

''You are lovely, btw, you seem very kind and I enjoy your blog very much! much love!'' i love u so much hope u have a great day !

[raesreadingcorner]

Carry On (SPN 15x20 Fix-it Fanfiction)

Word count: 4.3k Warnings: None, maybe spelling editing mistakes (Only fluff and happiness is allowed at this point in time)

Author’s note: So I haven’t written fanfiction in ages, I blame it on my CW degree and not wanting to spend even more time writing but after that absolute f*cktard disaster of a finale, I knew I had to do something about it. I hope you enjoy my version of how I wished the show would have ended (this is no hate to the acotrs who did a spectacular job and being served what they were given but a huge f u the the SPN writers for queerbaiting us for so long and in the end not giving the fans a satisfying ending (Like there were so many plotholes, what happened to the empty, are Jodie and the girls okay? If Bobby said Cas helped Jack fix heaven does that mean Cas is alive but hasn’t come to see Dean (That would be bullshit and we all know it). 

Let me know your thoughts on the ending or S15 in general, what were some of your favourite moments (*cough* Cas’ confession and only that, also Jack becoming God *cough*) Peace out, Bitches!

Rae

The‌ ‌days‌ ‌began‌ ‌to‌ ‌blend‌ ‌into‌ ‌one‌ ‌without‌ ‌Chuck‌ ‌there‌ ‌to‌ ‌control‌ ‌them.‌ ‌Jack‌ ‌had‌ ‌saved‌ ‌them,‌ ‌all‌ ‌the‌ ‌people‌ ‌that‌ ‌had‌ ‌vanished.‌ ‌Their‌ ‌family,‌ ‌friends,‌ ‌everything‌ ‌was‌ ‌going‌ ‌back‌ ‌to‌ ‌the‌ ‌way‌ ‌it‌ ‌was‌ ‌again.‌ ‌And‌ ‌then‌ ‌Jack‌ ‌did‌ ‌the‌ ‌unspeakable‌ ‌and‌ ‌left‌ ‌himself,‌ ‌promising‌ ‌the‌ ‌brothers‌ ‌of‌ ‌a‌ ‌better‌ ‌world.‌ ‌But‌ ‌all‌ ‌Dean‌ ‌could‌ ‌think‌ ‌about‌ ‌was‌ ‌‌him‌.‌ ‌ ‌‌

Cas.‌ ‌ ‌‌

That‌ ‌goddamn‌ ‌angel.‌ ‌The‌ ‌hunter‌ ‌cursed‌ ‌himself‌ ‌with‌ ‌every‌ ‌waking‌ ‌moment‌ ‌for‌ ‌not‌ ‌begging‌ ‌Jack‌ ‌to‌ ‌bring‌ ‌him‌ ‌back,‌ ‌to‌ ‌at‌ ‌least‌ ‌try.‌ ‌He‌ ‌knew‌ ‌he‌ ‌was‌ ‌hard‌ ‌on‌ ‌the‌ ‌kid‌ ‌in‌ ‌the‌ ‌past,‌ ‌and‌ ‌had‌ ‌always‌ ‌brushed‌ ‌him‌ ‌aside,‌ ‌but‌ ‌he‌ ‌truly‌ ‌wished‌ ‌he‌ ‌had‌ ‌asked‌ ‌for‌ ‌even‌ ‌a‌ ‌hope‌ ‌of‌ ‌that‌ ‌miracle.‌ ‌‌

As‌ ‌if‌ ‌the‌ ‌words‌ ‌were‌ ‌spoken‌ ‌out‌ ‌loud,‌ ‌the‌ ‌shaggy‌ ‌dog‌ ‌that‌ ‌Dean‌ ‌had‌ ‌picked‌ ‌up‌ ‌from‌ ‌the‌ ‌gas‌ ‌station‌ ‌padded‌ ‌into‌ ‌the‌ ‌room‌ ‌making‌ ‌Dean‌ ‌smile‌ ‌slightly.‌ ‌At‌ ‌least‌ ‌all‌ ‌things‌ ‌weren’t‌ ‌horrible.‌ ‌Patting‌ ‌the‌ ‌empty‌ ‌space‌ ‌beside‌ ‌him‌ ‌on‌ ‌the‌ ‌bed,‌ ‌the‌ ‌dog‌ ‌trotted‌ ‌over‌ ‌before‌ ‌jumping‌ ‌up‌ ‌into‌ ‌Dean’s‌ ‌waiting‌ ‌arms,‌ ‌receiving‌ ‌all‌ ‌the‌ ‌pets‌ ‌and‌ ‌scratches‌ ‌he‌ ‌could‌ ‌ever‌ ‌desire.‌ ‌‌

“Good‌ ‌boy.”‌ ‌‌

Dean‌ ‌looked‌ ‌into‌ ‌the‌ ‌dog’s‌ ‌eyes‌ ‌before‌ ‌kissing‌ ‌him‌ ‌on‌ ‌top‌ ‌of‌ ‌the‌ ‌head,‌ ‌“I‌ ‌guess‌ ‌we‌ ‌can’t‌ ‌wish‌ ‌for‌ ‌everything,‌ ‌huh‌ ‌bud?”‌ ‌ ‌‌

Miracle‌ ‌tilted‌ ‌his‌ ‌head‌ ‌at‌ ‌Dean’s‌ ‌voice,‌ ‌a‌ ‌gentle‌ ‌‘huff’‌ ‌leaving‌ ‌his‌ ‌mouth‌ ‌before‌ ‌he‌ ‌circled‌ ‌around‌ ‌and‌ ‌curled‌ ‌up‌ ‌on‌ ‌the‌ ‌messy‌ ‌bedsheets.‌ ‌Dean‌ ‌gave‌ ‌him‌ ‌a‌ ‌few‌ ‌final‌ ‌pets,‌ ‌muttering‌ ‌the‌ ‌two‌ ‌assuring‌ ‌words‌ ‌over‌ ‌again before sitting up.‌ 

‌‌Glancing‌ ‌over‌ ‌at‌ ‌his‌ ‌bedside‌ ‌table,‌ ‌his‌ ‌eyes‌ ‌caught‌ ‌onto‌ ‌his‌ ‌headphone‌ ‌and‌ ‌cassette‌ ‌player,‌ ‌the‌ ‌tape‌ ‌inside‌ ‌being‌ ‌the‌ ‌same‌ ‌one‌ ‌he‌ ‌had‌ ‌been‌ ‌playing‌ ‌on‌ ‌repeat‌ ‌for‌ ‌the‌ ‌last‌ ‌few‌ ‌days:‌ ‌the‌ ‌mixtape‌ ‌he‌ ‌made‌ ‌for‌ ‌Cas.‌ ‌

‌‌Instead‌ ‌of‌ ‌grabbing‌ ‌the‌ ‌headphones‌ ‌and‌ ‌spending‌ ‌more‌ ‌time‌ ‌in‌ ‌bed,‌ ‌as‌ ‌he‌ ‌had‌ ‌been‌ ‌doing‌ ‌almost‌ ‌every‌ ‌day,‌ ‌Dean‌ ‌got‌ ‌up.‌ ‌There‌ ‌was‌ ‌no‌ ‌use‌ ‌to‌ ‌making‌ ‌himself‌ ‌feel‌ ‌worse‌ ‌and,‌ ‌he‌ ‌was‌ ‌hungry.‌ ‌

He‌ ‌moved‌ ‌to‌ ‌his‌ ‌bedroom‌ ‌door,‌ ‌glancing‌ ‌down‌ ‌at‌ ‌the‌ ‌bowls‌ ‌in‌ ‌front‌ ‌of‌ ‌his‌ ‌bed‌ ‌checking‌ ‌that‌ ‌Miracle‌ ‌had‌ ‌enough‌ ‌water‌ ‌and‌ ‌food‌ ‌until‌ ‌he‌ ‌got‌ ‌back.‌ ‌

‌‌‘I’ll‌ ‌bring‌ ‌back‌ ‌some‌ ‌bacon‌ ‌from‌ ‌the‌ ‌kitchen‌ ‌for‌ ‌him.’‌ ‌Dean‌ ‌decided,‌ ‌walking‌ ‌to‌ ‌his‌ ‌desired‌ ‌destination‌ ‌just‌ ‌to‌ ‌meet‌ ‌Sam‌ ‌already‌ ‌there,‌ ‌working‌ ‌away‌ ‌with‌ ‌the‌ ‌scrambled‌ ‌eggs‌ ‌in‌ ‌the‌ ‌frying‌ ‌pan.‌ ‌ ‌

Dean‌ ‌moved‌ ‌toward‌ ‌the‌ ‌coffee‌ ‌machine‌ ‌with‌ ‌it’s‌ ‌few‌ ‌dregs‌ ‌left‌ ‌and‌ ‌poured‌ ‌some‌ ‌into‌ ‌a‌ ‌cup‌ ‌that‌ ‌he‌ ‌cherished‌ ‌with‌ ‌every‌ ‌day‌ ‌that‌ ‌passed.‌ ‌It‌ ‌was‌ ‌a‌ ‌simple‌ ‌white‌ ‌mug‌ ‌with‌ ‌the‌ ‌words‌ ‌‘Good‌ ‌Morning‌ ‌Sunshine’‌ ‌on‌ ‌the‌ ‌front‌ ‌and‌ ‌a‌ ‌bright‌ ‌yellow‌ ‌sun‌ ‌placed‌ ‌underneath.‌ ‌It‌ ‌was‌ ‌Cas’‌ ‌present‌ ‌to‌ ‌him‌ ‌for‌ ‌his‌ ‌birthday‌ ‌a‌ ‌few‌ ‌months‌ ‌back.‌ ‌ ‌‌

Dean‌ ‌couldn’t‌ ‌have‌ ‌asked‌ ‌for‌ ‌anything‌ ‌better.‌ ‌‌Sam‌ ‌nodded‌ ‌to‌ ‌his‌ ‌brother,‌ ‌muttering‌ ‌a‌ ‌quiet‌ ‌‘Morning’‌ ‌before‌ ‌grabbing‌ ‌a‌ ‌third‌ ‌plate‌ ‌out‌ ‌of‌ ‌the‌ ‌cabinet‌ ‌to‌ ‌divide‌ ‌the‌ ‌eggs‌ ‌onto‌ ‌along‌ ‌with‌ ‌strips‌ ‌of‌ ‌bacon,‌ ‌the‌ ‌normal‌ ‌crispy‌ ‌and‌ ‌greasy‌ ‌kind‌ ‌for‌ ‌Dean,‌ ‌and‌ ‌turkey‌ ‌bacon‌ ‌for‌ ‌the‌ ‌other‌ ‌two.‌ ‌ 

‌‌Dean‌ ‌savoured‌ ‌the‌ ‌bitter‌ ‌taste‌ ‌of‌ ‌coffee‌ ‌as‌ ‌he‌ ‌spun‌ ‌around‌ ‌and‌ ‌leaned‌ ‌back‌ ‌against‌ ‌the‌ ‌counter,‌ ‌holding‌ ‌his‌ ‌mug‌ ‌up‌ ‌to‌ ‌greet‌ ‌Eileen,‌ ‌her‌ ‌head‌ ‌buried‌ ‌in‌ ‌a‌ ‌book‌ ‌about‌ ‌vampires‌ ‌and‌ ‌lore,‌ ‌something‌ ‌she‌ ‌found‌ ‌in‌ ‌the‌ ‌library‌ ‌the‌ ‌first‌ ‌time‌ ‌she‌ ‌came‌ ‌around.‌ ‌‌

“Morning‌ ‌Dean.”‌ ‌She‌ ‌greeted‌ ‌happily‌ ‌before‌ ‌smiling‌ ‌up‌ ‌at‌ ‌Sam‌ ‌as‌ ‌he‌ ‌placed‌ ‌a‌ ‌filled‌ ‌plate‌ ‌in‌ ‌front‌ ‌of‌ ‌her,‌ ‌“Thanks,‌ ‌Sammy.”‌ ‌‌

Dean‌ ‌slyly‌ ‌smiled‌ ‌at‌ ‌the‌ ‌nickname his borther used to hate,‌ ‌bringing‌ ‌the‌ ‌cup‌ ‌to‌ ‌his‌ ‌lips‌ ‌to‌ ‌drain‌ ‌the‌ ‌last‌ ‌of‌ ‌the‌ ‌liquid‌ ‌gold‌ ‌before‌ ‌gliding‌ ‌over‌ ‌to‌ ‌take‌ ‌a‌ ‌seat‌ ‌beside‌ ‌Eileen‌ ‌with‌ ‌Sam‌ ‌sitting‌ ‌on‌ ‌the‌ ‌opposite‌ ‌bench,‌ ‌food‌ ‌in‌ ‌front‌ ‌of‌ ‌each‌ ‌of‌ ‌them.‌ 

‌‌“So,‌ ‌any‌ ‌reports‌ ‌on‌ ‌danger‌ ‌around?”‌ ‌Eileen‌ ‌asked‌ ‌over‌ ‌a‌ ‌bite‌ ‌of‌ ‌scrambled‌ ‌eggs.‌ 

‌‌Sam‌ ‌shook‌ ‌his‌ ‌head,‌ ‌digging‌ ‌into‌ ‌his‌ ‌own‌ ‌food‌ ‌with‌ ‌one‌ ‌hand,‌ ‌the‌ ‌other‌ ‌subconsciously‌ ‌moving‌ ‌closer‌ ‌to‌ ‌Eileen’s‌ ‌that‌ ‌also‌ ‌rested‌ ‌on‌ ‌the‌ ‌table,‌ ‌“No,‌ ‌it’s‌ ‌been‌ ‌pretty‌ ‌quiet‌ ‌since‌ ‌everything‌ ‌went‌ ‌back‌ ‌to‌ ‌‘normal’,‌ ‌Claire‌ ‌and‌ ‌Jodie‌ ‌caught‌ ‌a‌ ‌case‌ ‌with‌ ‌a‌ ‌werewolf‌ ‌a‌ ‌few‌ ‌days‌ ‌back‌ ‌but‌ ‌nothing‌ ‌serious‌ ‌and‌ ‌nothing‌ ‌since.”‌ 

‌‌“I‌ ‌hate‌ ‌to‌ ‌say‌ ‌it,‌ ‌but‌ ‌I‌ ‌don’t like ‌the‌ ‌silence,”‌ ‌Dean‌ ‌admitted,‌ ‌shaking‌ ‌his‌ ‌head‌ ‌in‌ ‌doubt,‌ ‌his‌ ‌brows‌ ‌creased‌ ‌in‌ ‌uncertainty,‌ ‌“It‌ ‌just‌ ‌doesn’t‌ ‌feel‌ ‌right,‌ ‌are‌ ‌‌all‌‌ ‌the‌ ‌monsters‌ ‌laying‌ ‌low?”‌ ‌‌

“I‌ ‌don’t‌ ‌know,‌ ‌I‌ ‌mean,‌ ‌with‌ ‌Jack‌ ‌being‌ ‌the‌ ‌new...‌ ‌God,‌ ‌I‌ ‌guess‌ ‌they’re‌ ‌waiting‌ ‌to‌ ‌see‌ ‌what‌ ‌happens?‌ ‌But‌ ‌I‌ ‌get‌ ‌it,‌ ‌it‌ ‌doesn’t‌ ‌make‌ ‌sense.”‌ ‌ 

‌‌“I‌ ‌think‌ ‌I’ll‌ ‌go‌ ‌looking‌ ‌at‌ ‌reports‌ ‌and‌ ‌stuff,‌ ‌see‌ ‌if‌ ‌anything‌ ‌pops‌ ‌up. Iif‌ ‌not‌, ‌I‌ ‌might‌ ‌take‌ ‌Baby‌ ‌and‌ ‌Miracle‌ ‌out‌ ‌for‌ ‌a‌ ‌spin,‌ ‌get‌ ‌them‌ ‌out‌ ‌for‌ ‌some‌ ‌fresh‌ ‌air.”‌ ‌‌‘And‌ ‌get‌ ‌me‌ ‌away‌ ‌from‌ ‌the‌ ‌happy‌ ‌couple’,‌ ‌Dean‌ ‌added‌ ‌silently‌ ‌to‌ ‌himself‌ ‌but‌ ‌immediately‌ ‌felt‌ ‌guilty‌ ‌upon‌ ‌thinking‌ ‌it.‌

 ‌He‌ ‌was‌ ‌happy‌ ‌for‌ ‌Sam.‌ ‌Happy‌ ‌that‌ ‌he‌ ‌and‌ ‌Eileen‌ ‌were‌ ‌finally‌ ‌back‌ ‌together.‌ ‌He‌ ‌was‌ ‌just‌ ‌envious‌ ‌and‌ ‌hurt‌ ‌that‌ ‌he‌ ‌didn’t‌ ‌have‌ ‌a‌ ‌similar‌ ‌reunion of his own.‌ ‌

 ‌‌“Maybe‌ ‌we‌ ‌could‌ ‌make‌ ‌a‌ ‌trip‌ ‌over‌ ‌to‌ ‌Charlie‌ ‌and‌ ‌Stevie’s,‌ ‌make‌ ‌sure‌ ‌everything’s‌ ‌good‌ ‌on‌ ‌their‌ ‌end?”‌ ‌‌

“Might‌ ‌not‌ ‌be‌ ‌a‌ ‌good‌ ‌idea‌ ‌after‌ ‌how‌ ‌we‌ ‌left‌ ‌Charlie‌ ‌the‌ ‌last‌ ‌time,”‌ ‌Dean‌ ‌chided,‌ ‌“I‌ ‌don’t‌ ‌think‌ ‌I‌ ‌want‌ ‌to‌ ‌know‌ ‌what‌ ‌she‌ ‌can‌ ‌do‌ ‌when‌ ‌she’s‌ ‌angry-”‌ 

‌‌“I‌ ‌doubt‌ ‌she’s‌ ‌angry‌ ‌Dean,‌ ‌and‌ ‌even‌ ‌if‌ ‌she‌ ‌is,‌ ‌it’s‌ ‌not‌ ‌at‌ ‌you.‌ It’s‌ ‌at‌ ‌Chuck,‌ ‌at‌ ‌the‌ ‌life‌ ‌he‌ ‌forced‌ ‌us‌ ‌‌all‌‌ ‌to‌ ‌live,”‌ ‌Eileen‌ ‌said.‌ ‌‌The‌ ‌older‌ ‌Winchester‌ ‌nodded‌ ‌and‌ ‌kindly‌ ‌smiled‌ ‌yet‌ ‌he‌ ‌couldn’t‌ ‌bring‌ ‌the‌ ‌same‌ ‌warmth‌ ‌to‌ ‌reach‌ ‌his‌ ‌eyes,‌ ‌“Maybe‌ ‌another‌ ‌time.”‌ ‌‌

As‌ ‌Dean‌ ‌stared‌ ‌blankly‌ ‌at‌ ‌the‌ ‌remaining‌ ‌two‌ ‌pieces‌ ‌of‌ ‌bacon‌ ‌in‌ ‌front‌ ‌of‌ ‌him,‌ ‌Sam‌ ‌and‌ ‌Eileen‌ ‌shared‌ ‌a‌ ‌worried‌ ‌glance,‌ ‌speaking‌ ‌silently‌ ‌with‌ ‌one‌ ‌another‌ ‌before‌ ‌she‌ ‌moved‌ ‌to‌ ‌collect‌ ‌her‌ ‌and‌ ‌Sam’s‌ ‌finished‌ ‌plates,‌ ‌“Just‌ ‌place‌ ‌your‌ ‌plate‌ ‌by‌ ‌the‌ ‌sink‌ ‌when‌ ‌you’re‌ ‌finished‌ ‌Dean,‌ ‌I’ll‌ ‌clean‌ ‌up.”‌ ‌

‌“Nah‌ ‌you‌ ‌don’t‌ ‌have‌ ‌to‌ ‌do‌ ‌that,‌ ‌you‌ ‌and‌ ‌Sam‌ ‌should‌ ‌go‌ ‌out,‌ ‌go do‌ ‌whatever‌ ‌kids these days get up to these days.‌ ‌I‌ ‌heard‌ ‌you‌ ‌both‌ ‌talking‌ ‌about‌ ‌going‌ ‌to‌ ‌the‌ ‌park‌ ‌the‌ ‌other‌ ‌day,‌ ‌why‌ ‌not‌ ‌do‌ ‌that?‌ ‌It’s‌ ‌the‌ ‌right‌ ‌weather‌ ‌for‌ ‌it,‌ ‌so‌ ‌you‌ ‌might‌ ‌as‌ ‌well,‌ ‌I’ll‌ ‌get‌ ‌here‌ ‌cleaned‌ ‌up.”‌ ‌Dean‌ ‌declared,‌ ‌deciding‌ ‌to‌ ‌save‌ ‌the‌ ‌last‌ ‌two‌ ‌bacon‌ ‌strips‌ ‌for‌ ‌Miracle‌ ‌as‌ ‌he‌ ‌got‌ ‌up‌ ‌and‌ ‌moved‌ ‌toward‌ ‌the‌ ‌sink.‌ 

‌‌“Are‌ ‌you‌ ‌sure?”‌ ‌Sam‌ ‌questioned,‌ ‌glancing‌ ‌between‌ ‌his‌ ‌brother‌ ‌and‌ ‌Eileen‌ ‌who‌ ‌was‌ ‌trying‌ ‌to‌ ‌push‌ ‌Dean‌ ‌away‌ ‌from‌ ‌the‌ ‌sink‌ ‌to‌ ‌let‌ ‌her‌ ‌clean‌ ‌up‌ ‌but‌ ‌the‌ ‌older‌ ‌(and‌ ‌stronger)‌ ‌brother‌ ‌was‌ ‌having‌ ‌none‌ ‌of‌ ‌it,‌ ‌ ‌‌

“Yes,‌ ‌go!‌ ‌I’ll‌ ‌be‌ ‌here‌ ‌looking‌ ‌for‌ ‌cases‌ ‌most‌ ‌of‌ ‌the‌ ‌day‌ ‌anyway,‌ ‌or‌ ‌as‌ ‌I‌ ‌said,‌ ‌taking‌ ‌Baby‌ ‌and‌ ‌Miracle‌ ‌for‌ ‌a‌ ‌drive‌ ‌so‌ ‌you‌ ‌might‌ ‌as‌ ‌well.”‌ ‌‌

Sam‌ ‌was‌ ‌hesitant‌ ‌at‌ ‌first‌ ‌but‌ ‌one‌ ‌look‌ ‌from‌ ‌his‌ ‌brother‌ ‌made‌ ‌him‌ ‌roll‌ ‌his‌ ‌eyes‌ ‌and‌ ‌agree.‌ ‌“Fine,‌ ‌let‌ ‌me‌ ‌grab‌ ‌my‌ ‌coat.”‌ 

‌‌Eileen‌ ‌followed‌ ‌Sam‌ ‌out‌ ‌of‌ ‌the‌ ‌kitchen‌ ‌to‌ ‌grab‌ ‌her‌ ‌own‌ ‌things‌ ‌before‌ ‌the‌ ‌two‌ ‌left‌ ‌the‌ ‌bunker,‌ ‌quiet,‌ ‌comfortable‌ ‌laughter‌ ‌emitting‌ ‌from‌ ‌the‌ ‌two‌ ‌as‌ ‌the‌ ‌doors‌ ‌shut‌ ‌behind‌ ‌them,‌ ‌leaving‌ ‌Dean‌ ‌alone‌ ‌in‌ ‌silence‌ ‌to‌ ‌tidy‌ ‌the‌ ‌kitchen‌ ‌and‌ ‌return‌ ‌to‌ ‌his‌ ‌room‌ ‌with‌ ‌the‌ ‌remaining‌ ‌scraps‌ ‌of‌ ‌food‌ ‌for‌ ‌Miracle.‌ 

‌‌                                                      __‌ ‌‌

Sam‌ ‌found‌ ‌his‌ ‌brother‌ ‌hunched‌ ‌over‌ ‌the‌ ‌laptop‌ ‌when‌ ‌he‌ ‌got‌ ‌back‌ ‌to‌ ‌the‌ ‌bunker‌ ‌without‌ ‌Eileen.‌ ‌She‌ ‌decided‌ ‌that‌ ‌the‌ ‌two‌ ‌brothers‌ ‌needed‌ ‌to‌ ‌talk,‌ ‌and‌ ‌Sam‌ ‌was‌ ‌willing‌ ‌to‌ ‌agree.‌ ‌

One‌ ‌of‌ ‌Dean’s‌ ‌hands‌ ‌was‌ ‌buried‌ ‌in‌ ‌Miracle’s‌ ‌fur,‌ ‌the‌ ‌dog’s‌ ‌eyes‌ ‌flickering‌ ‌as‌ ‌he‌ ‌moved‌ ‌from‌ ‌consciousness‌ ‌to‌ ‌slowly‌ ‌falling‌ ‌asleep‌ ‌in‌ ‌the‌ ‌bunker‌ ‌seat. Dean’s ‌other‌ ‌hand‌ ‌was‌ ‌on‌ ‌the‌ ‌mousepad‌ ‌looking‌ ‌at‌ ‌recent‌ ‌news‌ ‌posts,‌ ‌searching‌ ‌for‌ ‌signs‌ ‌of‌ ‌anything‌ ‌supernatural.‌ ‌‌

“Anything?”‌ ‌Sam‌ ‌asked‌ ‌in‌ ‌his‌ ‌way‌ ‌of‌ ‌greeting,‌ ‌slumping‌ ‌into‌ ‌the‌ ‌seat‌ ‌opposite‌ ‌his‌ ‌brother‌ ‌and‌ ‌opening‌ ‌up‌ ‌his‌ ‌own‌ ‌laptop.‌ 

‌Dean‌ ‌was‌ ‌silent‌ ‌as‌ ‌if‌ ‌he‌ ‌hadn’t‌ ‌heard‌ ‌his‌ ‌brother‌ ‌at‌ ‌all.‌ 

‌‌“Dean,”‌ ‌Sam‌ ‌called‌ ‌again‌ ‌making‌ ‌the‌ ‌older‌ ‌brother‌ ‌look‌ ‌up‌ ‌and‌ ‌shake‌ ‌his‌ ‌head.‌ 

‌‌“I‌ ‌don’t‌ ‌know…”‌ 

‌‌“What‌ ‌is‌ ‌it?”‌ ‌Sam‌ ‌asks,‌ ‌leaning‌ ‌forward‌ ‌as‌ ‌he‌ ‌spots‌ ‌the‌ ‌confuse‌ ‌look‌ ‌cross‌ ‌Dean’s‌ ‌face‌ ‌before‌ ‌he‌ ‌gulped‌ ‌nervously,‌ 

‌‌“I’m‌ ‌not‌ ‌sure.”‌ 

‌‌“Dean?”‌ ‌‌

Dean‌ ‌pushed‌ ‌his‌ ‌chair‌ ‌back‌ ‌quickly,‌ ‌startling‌ ‌both‌ ‌Miracle‌ ‌and‌ ‌Sam‌ ‌as‌ ‌he‌ ‌jumped‌ ‌up,‌ ‌wide‌ ‌eyes‌ ‌refusing‌ ‌to‌ ‌leave‌ ‌the‌ ‌laptop‌ ‌screen.‌ ‌His‌ ‌face‌ ‌grew‌ ‌pale,‌ ‌he‌ ‌tried‌ ‌to‌ ‌open‌ ‌his‌ ‌mouth‌ ‌to‌ ‌speak‌ ‌but‌ ‌nothing‌ ‌came‌ ‌out,‌ ‌until‌ ‌finally,‌ 

‌‌“I…‌ ‌I‌ ‌have‌ ‌to‌ ‌go.”‌ ‌

‌“Dean?”‌ ‌Sam‌ ‌called‌ ‌after‌ ‌his‌ ‌brother‌ ‌as‌ ‌he‌ ‌ran‌ ‌out‌ ‌of‌ ‌the‌ ‌room,‌ ‌Miracle‌ ‌running‌ ‌in‌ ‌tow‌ ‌behind‌ ‌him.‌ ‌

Sam‌ ‌quickly‌ ‌grabbed‌ ‌the‌ ‌laptop‌ ‌and‌ ‌turned‌ ‌it‌ ‌around‌ ‌the‌ ‌face‌ ‌him,‌ ‌a‌ ‌similar‌ ‌expression‌ ‌of‌ ‌shock‌ ‌greeting‌ ‌his‌ ‌face,‌ ‌“No‌ ‌way.”‌ ‌‌

Kicking‌ ‌the‌ ‌chair‌ ‌back,‌ ‌Sam‌ ‌ran‌ ‌after‌ ‌his‌ ‌older‌ ‌brother,‌ ‌grabbing‌ ‌his‌ ‌jacket‌ ‌from‌ ‌the‌ ‌coat‌ ‌rack‌ ‌before‌ ‌following‌ ‌the‌ ‌path‌ ‌to‌ ‌the‌ ‌garage‌ ‌where‌ ‌Dean‌ ‌already‌ ‌had‌ ‌Baby‌ ‌up‌ ‌and‌ ‌running‌ ‌about‌ ‌the‌ ‌leave‌ ‌without‌ ‌him,‌ ‌

“Dean,‌ ‌wait!”‌ 

‌‌The‌ ‌car‌ ‌ground‌ ‌to‌ ‌a‌ ‌halt‌ ‌in‌ ‌front‌ ‌of‌ ‌Sam‌ ‌as‌ ‌the‌ ‌brother‌ ‌opened‌ ‌the‌ ‌passenger‌ ‌door,‌ ‌jumping‌ ‌in‌ ‌and‌ ‌slamming‌ ‌it‌ ‌shut‌ ‌behind‌ ‌him,‌ ‌“Alright,‌ ‌let’s‌ ‌go.”‌ ‌‌

The‌ ‌drive‌ ‌was‌ ‌less‌ ‌than‌ ‌an‌ ‌hour‌ ‌long‌ ‌and‌ ‌yet‌ ‌to‌ ‌Dean‌ ‌it‌ ‌felt‌ ‌like‌ ‌days‌ ‌went‌ ‌by‌ ‌before‌ ‌they‌ ‌finally‌ ‌reached‌ ‌the‌ ‌barnyard‌ ‌they‌ ‌were‌ ‌searching‌ ‌for.‌ ‌A‌ ‌farmer‌ ‌had‌ ‌sworn‌ ‌he‌ ‌saw‌ ‌lightning‌ ‌strike‌ ‌the‌ ‌ground‌ ‌but‌ ‌that‌ ‌wasn’t‌ ‌what‌ ‌stood‌ ‌out‌ ‌to‌ ‌the‌ ‌hunters.‌ ‌It‌ ‌was‌ ‌the‌ ‌last‌ ‌detail,‌ ‌something‌ ‌the‌ ‌news‌ ‌brushed‌ ‌off‌ ‌as‌ ‌a‌ ‌coincidence.‌ ‌

The‌ ‌shadowed‌ ‌image‌ ‌of‌ ‌two‌ ‌identical‌ ‌shapes‌ ‌that‌ ‌the‌ ‌two‌ ‌men‌ ‌knew‌ ‌too‌ ‌well;‌ ‌the‌ ‌large‌ ‌black‌ ‌wings‌ ‌of‌ ‌a‌ ‌fallen‌ ‌angel‌ ‌spread‌ ‌across‌ ‌the‌ ‌dirt.‌ ‌‌

He‌ ‌had‌ ‌to‌ ‌be‌ ‌here.‌ ‌‌

Dean‌ ‌barely‌ ‌put‌ ‌Baby‌ ‌to‌ ‌a‌ ‌halt,‌ ‌the‌ ‌car‌ ‌still‌ ‌in‌ ‌motion‌ ‌as‌ ‌he‌ ‌was‌ ‌jumping‌ ‌out,‌ ‌running‌ ‌toward‌ ‌the‌ ‌barn‌ ‌entrance‌ ‌to‌ ‌confirm‌ ‌what‌ ‌the‌ ‌farmer‌ ‌had‌ ‌seen.‌ ‌Dean‌ ‌nearly‌ ‌fell‌ ‌to‌ ‌his‌ ‌knees‌ ‌as‌ ‌he‌ ‌spotted‌ ‌the‌ ‌outlines‌ ‌of‌ ‌the‌ ‌two‌ ‌dark‌ ‌wings‌ ‌pressed‌ ‌into‌ ‌the‌ ‌ground.‌ ‌Instead,‌ ‌he‌ ‌stumbled‌ ‌back,‌ ‌only‌ ‌to‌ ‌be‌ ‌caught‌ ‌by‌ ‌Sam‌ ‌who‌ ‌ran‌ ‌up‌ ‌behind‌ ‌him,‌ ‌Miracle‌ ‌in‌ ‌tow,‌ ‌sniffing‌ ‌at‌ ‌the‌ ‌ground‌ ‌around‌ ‌them.‌ 

‌‌“This‌ ‌can’t‌ ‌be‌ ‌a‌ ‌coincidence,”‌ ‌Dean‌ ‌muttered,‌ ‌more‌ ‌to‌ ‌himself‌ ‌than‌ ‌either‌ ‌of‌ ‌his‌ ‌companions‌ ‌but‌ ‌Sam‌ ‌still‌ ‌nodded‌ ‌in‌ ‌agreement,‌ ‌head‌ ‌moving‌ ‌around‌ ‌in‌ ‌search‌ ‌of‌ ‌anything‌ ‌that‌ ‌would‌ ‌give‌ ‌them‌ ‌a‌ ‌clue,‌ ‌until…‌ ‌‌

Whoosh‌ ‌‌

Spinning‌ ‌around,‌ ‌both‌ ‌boys‌ ‌stood‌ ‌in‌ ‌shock‌ ‌at‌ ‌the‌ ‌figure‌ ‌before‌ ‌them,‌ 

‌‌“Hello,”‌ ‌Jack‌ ‌spoke,‌ ‌his‌ ‌signature‌ ‌smile‌ ‌and‌ ‌wave‌ ‌gracing‌ ‌his‌ ‌face‌ ‌as‌ ‌the‌ ‌two‌ ‌boys‌ ‌stared‌ ‌back‌ ‌in‌ ‌wonder,‌ ‌‌

“Jack?”‌ ‌‌

The‌ ‌boy,‌ ‌or‌ ‌God,‌ ‌nodded‌ ‌and‌ ‌grinned‌ ‌at‌ ‌the‌ ‌two,‌ ‌eyes‌ ‌brightening‌ ‌as‌ ‌he‌ ‌spotted‌ ‌the‌ ‌dog‌ ‌who‌ ‌now‌ ‌sat‌ ‌beside‌ ‌Dean’s‌ ‌feet,‌ 

‌“I‌ ‌see‌ ‌you‌ ‌brought‌ ‌Miracle‌ ‌with‌ ‌you,‌ ‌I’m‌ ‌glad‌ ‌he’s‌ ‌given‌ ‌you‌ ‌some‌ ‌peace‌ ‌in‌ ‌life.”‌ ‌‌

“Jack,”‌ ‌Dean‌ ‌spoke‌ ‌hesitantly,‌ ‌not‌ ‌knowing‌ ‌how‌ ‌to‌ ‌say‌ ‌his‌ ‌next‌ ‌words‌ ‌without‌ ‌being‌ ‌offensive,‌ ‌and‌ ‌yet‌ ‌it‌ ‌seemed‌ ‌the‌ ‌words‌ ‌just‌ ‌fell‌ ‌out‌ ‌of‌ ‌his‌ ‌mouth‌ ‌anyway,‌ ‌“Why‌ ‌the‌ ‌hell‌ ‌are‌ ‌you‌ ‌here,‌ ‌I‌ ‌mean‌ ‌not‌ ‌to‌ ‌say‌ ‌it’s‌ ‌not‌ ‌nice‌ ‌to‌ ‌see‌ ‌you‌ ‌but,‌ ‌the‌ ‌wings‌ ‌on‌ ‌the‌ ‌ground‌ ‌I‌ ‌just,‌ ‌I‌ ‌thought-”‌ ‌‌

“I‌ ‌know,”‌ ‌Jack‌ ‌nodded,‌ ‌“I’m‌ ‌sorry.”‌ 

‌‌Dean’s‌ ‌shoulder’s‌ ‌slumped‌ ‌in‌ ‌anguish‌ ‌at‌ ‌the‌ ‌words,‌ ‌expecting‌ ‌the‌ ‌boy‌ ‌to‌ ‌say‌ ‌it‌ ‌had‌ ‌been‌ ‌a‌ ‌mistake,‌ ‌an‌ ‌angel‌ ‌had‌ ‌fallen‌ ‌but‌ ‌it‌ ‌had‌ ‌nothing‌ ‌to‌ ‌do‌ ‌with‌ ‌what‌ ‌Dean‌ ‌was‌ ‌thinking,‌ ‌until,‌ ‌ 

‌‌“I’m‌ ‌sorry‌ ‌I‌ ‌had‌ ‌to‌ ‌make‌ ‌you‌ ‌drive‌ ‌all‌ ‌the‌ ‌way‌ ‌out‌ ‌here,‌ ‌I’m‌ ‌still‌ ‌trying‌ ‌to‌ ‌figure‌ ‌out‌ ‌my‌ ‌new‌ ‌powers‌ ‌and‌ ‌it’s‌ ‌been‌ ‌a‌ ‌little‌ ‌difficult‌ ‌trying‌ ‌to‌ ‌get‌ ‌everything‌ ‌just‌ ‌right.‌ ‌I‌ ‌wanted‌ ‌to‌ ‌bring‌ ‌him‌ ‌back‌ ‌home,‌ ‌but‌ ‌my‌ ‌calculations‌ ‌were‌ ‌off‌ ‌and-”‌ 

‌‌“Wait,‌ ‌Jack,”‌ ‌Sam‌ ‌cut‌ ‌the‌ ‌boy‌ ‌off,‌ ‌but‌ ‌he‌ ‌didn’t‌ ‌seem‌ ‌to‌ ‌mind‌ ‌this‌ ‌as‌ ‌he‌ ‌glanced‌ ‌up,‌ ‌eyes‌ ‌shining‌ ‌as‌ ‌he‌ ‌realised‌ ‌he‌ ‌had‌ ‌been‌ ‌rambling.‌ ‌

Before‌ ‌Sam‌ ‌could‌ ‌respond‌ ‌further,‌ ‌Jack‌ ‌began‌ ‌to‌ ‌walk‌ ‌toward‌ ‌them,‌ ‌ ‌‌“Oh‌ ‌sorry,‌ ‌here,‌ ‌let‌ ‌me‌ ‌show‌ ‌you.”‌ ‌‌As‌ ‌the‌ ‌new‌ ‌God‌ ‌neared‌ ‌the‌ ‌two‌ ‌brothers,‌ ‌his‌ ‌family,‌ ‌he‌ ‌lifted‌ ‌his‌ ‌hand‌ ‌and‌ ‌clicked‌ ‌his‌ ‌fingers.‌ ‌

A‌ ‌gentle‌ ‌hum‌ ‌flooded‌ ‌the‌ ‌area,‌ ‌making‌ ‌chills‌ ‌flow‌ ‌through‌ ‌the‌ ‌boys‌ ‌and‌ ‌even‌ ‌Miracle‌ ‌as‌ ‌he‌ ‌shook‌ ‌his‌ ‌fur‌ ‌coat‌ ‌lightly.‌ ‌‌

“Jack,‌ ‌I‌ ‌don’t-”‌

 ‌‌“Dean?”‌ ‌‌Dean‌ ‌froze,‌ ‌eyes‌ ‌wide.‌ ‌He‌ ‌knew‌ ‌that‌ ‌voice.‌ ‌He‌ ‌knew‌ ‌that‌ ‌voice‌ ‌all‌ ‌too‌ ‌well.‌ ‌‌

Spinning‌ ‌around,‌ ‌the‌ ‌green-eyed‌ ‌man‌ ‌choked‌ ‌a‌ ‌sob‌ ‌as‌ ‌a‌ ‌black-haired,‌ ‌blue-eyed‌ ‌figure‌ ‌walked‌ ‌forward,‌ ‌trench‌ ‌coat‌ ‌in‌ ‌hand‌ ‌and‌ ‌a‌ ‌smile,‌ ‌a‌ ‌goddamn‌ ‌smile,‌ ‌on‌ ‌his‌ ‌angelic‌ ‌face.‌ ‌‌

It‌ ‌was‌ ‌Sam‌ ‌who‌ ‌broke‌ ‌the‌ ‌silence,‌ ‌being‌ ‌the‌ ‌first‌ ‌to‌ ‌utter‌ ‌Cas’s‌ ‌name‌ ‌aloud.‌ ‌The‌ ‌man‌ ‌smiled,‌ ‌turning‌ ‌to‌ ‌the‌ ‌younger‌ ‌brother,‌ ‌

“Hello‌ ‌Sam.”‌ 

‌‌Sam‌ ‌didn’t‌ ‌hesitate‌ ‌to‌ ‌move‌ ‌forward‌ ‌and‌ ‌greet‌ ‌his‌ ‌best‌ ‌friend,‌ ‌hugging‌ ‌him‌ ‌tightly,‌ 

‌“How,‌ ‌how‌ ‌are‌ ‌you-?”‌ ‌He‌ ‌tried‌ ‌to‌ ‌ask‌ ‌but‌ ‌the‌ ‌words‌ ‌fell‌ ‌flat‌ ‌on‌ ‌his‌ ‌lips.‌ ‌ ‌‌

Castiel‌ ‌gestured‌ ‌to‌ ‌Jack,‌ ‌chuckling‌ ‌softly,‌ ‌“Jack‌ ‌made‌ ‌a‌ ‌deal‌ ‌with‌ ‌the‌ ‌Empty,‌ ‌it‌ ‌would‌ ‌finally‌ ‌know‌ ‌peace‌ ‌and‌ ‌quiet,‌ ‌the‌ ‌one‌ ‌thing‌ ‌it‌ ‌has‌ ‌been‌ ‌searching‌ ‌for‌ ‌and,‌ ‌in‌ ‌return,‌ ‌I‌ ‌was‌ ‌released,‌ ‌but‌ ‌instead‌ ‌of‌ ‌coming‌ ‌back‌ ‌as‌ ‌an‌ ‌angel,‌ ‌it‌ ‌made‌ ‌me-”‌ 

‌‌“Human.”‌ ‌Jack‌ ‌finished‌ ‌off,‌ ‌meeting‌ ‌the‌ ‌eyes‌ ‌of‌ ‌his‌ ‌three‌ ‌fathers,‌ ‌“I’m‌ ‌sorry,‌ ‌I‌ ‌wish‌ ‌it‌ ‌could‌ ‌have‌ ‌been‌ ‌different‌ ‌but-”‌ 

‌‌“Jack,”‌ 

‌Dean‌ ‌cut‌ ‌the‌ ‌boy‌ ‌off‌ ‌quietly‌ ‌before‌ ‌meeting‌ ‌his‌ ‌eyes.‌ ‌The‌ ‌look‌ ‌of‌ ‌shock‌ ‌turned‌ ‌to‌ ‌one‌ ‌of‌ ‌gratitude‌ ‌and‌ ‌relief,‌ ‌tears‌ ‌pricking‌ ‌his‌ ‌eyes‌ ‌as‌ ‌Dean‌ ‌moved‌ ‌the‌ ‌last‌ ‌few‌ ‌paces‌ ‌toward‌ ‌Jack,‌ ‌pulling‌ ‌him‌ ‌in‌ ‌a‌ ‌strong‌ ‌familial‌ ‌hug,‌ 

‌“You‌ ‌did‌ ‌good‌ ‌kid,‌ ‌you‌ ‌did,‌ ‌you‌ ‌performed‌ ‌a‌ ‌miracle.”‌ ‌‌

Dean‌ ‌tightened‌ ‌his‌ ‌grip‌ ‌on‌ ‌Jack‌ ‌for‌ ‌a‌ ‌moment,‌ ‌uttering‌ ‌a‌ ‌silent‌ ‌thank‌ ‌you‌ ‌for‌ ‌only‌ ‌Jack‌ ‌to‌ ‌hear‌ ‌before‌ ‌the‌ ‌two‌ ‌pulled‌ ‌away,‌ ‌Jack‌ ‌nodding‌ ‌in‌ ‌acknowledgement‌ ‌of‌ ‌Dean’s‌ ‌words.‌ ‌‌

It‌ ‌was‌ ‌Dean’s‌ ‌turn‌ ‌to‌ ‌move‌ ‌back‌ ‌to‌ ‌finally‌ ‌face‌ ‌Castiel;‌ ‌his‌ ‌best‌ ‌friend,‌ ‌the‌ ‌man‌ ‌he‌ ‌has‌ ‌known‌ ‌for‌ ‌what‌ ‌feels‌ ‌like‌ ‌hundreds‌ ‌of‌ ‌years‌ ‌and‌ ‌has‌ ‌saved‌ ‌him‌ ‌more‌ ‌times‌ ‌than‌ ‌Dean‌ ‌could‌ ‌count.‌ ‌

The‌ ‌man‌ ‌that‌ ‌confessed‌ ‌his‌ ‌feelings‌ ‌before‌ ‌he‌ ‌leaving‌ ‌to‌ ‌save‌ ‌Dean‌ ‌‌again‌‌ ‌and‌ ‌the‌ ‌man‌ ‌that‌ ‌Dean‌ ‌has‌ ‌been‌ ‌in‌ ‌love‌ ‌with‌ ‌for‌ ‌who‌ ‌knows‌ ‌how‌ ‌many‌ ‌years‌ ‌since‌ ‌they‌ ‌met.‌ 

‌‌“Cas?”‌ 

‌‌“Hello,‌ ‌Dean.”‌ ‌‌

Tears‌ ‌flowed‌ ‌freely‌ ‌down‌ ‌Dean’s‌ ‌face,‌ ‌not‌ ‌caring‌ ‌that‌ ‌his‌ ‌brother‌ ‌or‌ ‌Jack‌ ‌were‌ ‌watching‌ ‌them,‌ ‌not‌ ‌as‌ ‌Dean‌ ‌hauled‌ ‌himself‌ ‌forward‌ ‌and‌ ‌collapsed‌ ‌into‌ ‌Cas’‌ ‌arms‌ ‌toppling‌ ‌them‌ ‌into‌ ‌the‌ ‌ground‌ ‌and‌ ‌yet‌ ‌Cas‌ ‌held‌ ‌him‌ ‌tightly.‌ ‌‌

“You‌ ‌were‌ ‌gone,‌ ‌I‌ ‌thought,‌ ‌I-”‌ ‌Dean‌ ‌released‌ ‌a‌ ‌shaky‌ ‌sob‌ ‌before‌ ‌burying‌ ‌his‌ ‌head‌ ‌into‌ ‌the‌ ‌shoulder‌ ‌of‌ ‌his‌ ‌angel,‌ ‌“I‌ ‌never‌ ‌got‌ ‌to‌ ‌say‌ ‌it‌ ‌back.‌ ‌You‌ ‌were‌ ‌gone‌ ‌before‌ ‌I,‌ ‌before‌ ‌I‌ ‌could‌ ‌say-”‌ 

‌‌“Dean-”‌ 

‌‌“No,‌ ‌Cas,‌ ‌please,‌ ‌I‌ ‌need‌ ‌to‌ ‌say‌ ‌it,”‌ ‌Dean‌ ‌begged,‌ ‌green‌ ‌eyes‌ ‌meeting‌ ‌his‌ ‌blue‌ ‌ones.‌ ‌ 

‌‌Cas‌ ‌nodded,‌ ‌shifting‌ ‌so‌ ‌he‌ ‌only‌ ‌needed‌ ‌one‌ ‌hand‌ ‌to‌ ‌hold‌ ‌himself‌ ‌and‌ ‌Dean‌ ‌up,‌ ‌the‌ ‌other‌ ‌moving‌ ‌to‌ ‌touch‌ ‌his‌ ‌shoulder,‌ ‌like‌ ‌last‌ ‌time‌ ‌instead‌ ‌the‌ ‌grip‌ ‌remained‌ ‌firm‌ ‌and‌ ‌kept‌ ‌Dean‌ ‌grounded‌ ‌as‌ ‌he‌ ‌finally,‌ ‌‌finally‌,‌ ‌uttered‌ ‌the‌ ‌three‌ ‌words‌ ‌to‌ ‌his‌ ‌best‌ ‌friend‌ ‌and‌ ‌love‌ ‌of‌ ‌his‌ ‌life,‌ ‌‌

“I‌ ‌love‌ ‌you,‌ ‌Cas.‌ ‌I‌ ‌have‌ ‌loved‌ ‌you‌ ‌for‌ ‌a‌ ‌long‌ ‌time‌ ‌but,‌ ‌I‌ ‌was‌ ‌afraid,‌ ‌afraid‌ ‌to‌ ‌ruin‌ ‌our‌ ‌friendship,‌ ‌our‌ ‌time‌ ‌together,‌ ‌I-”‌ ‌‌

Dean‌ ‌was‌ ‌cut‌ ‌off‌ ‌when‌ ‌strong‌ ‌lips‌ ‌pressed‌ ‌against‌ ‌his‌ ‌own‌ ‌and‌ ‌fresh‌ ‌tears‌ ‌began‌ ‌to‌ ‌fall‌ ‌down‌ ‌his‌ ‌face‌ ‌as‌ ‌he‌ ‌cupped‌ ‌Cas’‌ ‌face‌ ‌in‌ ‌his‌ ‌hands.‌ ‌Both‌ ‌men‌ ‌fell‌ ‌back,‌ ‌crashing‌ ‌into‌ ‌the‌ ‌ground‌ ‌to‌ ‌embrace‌ ‌the‌ ‌another‌ ‌in‌ ‌the‌ ‌dust‌ ‌and‌ ‌dirt,‌ ‌not‌ ‌caring‌ ‌for‌ ‌anything‌ ‌but‌ ‌of‌ ‌the‌ ‌other‌ ‌person‌ ‌holding‌ ‌them.‌ ‌‌

“I‌ ‌love‌ ‌you.‌ ‌I‌ ‌love‌ ‌you.‌ ‌I‌ ‌love‌ ‌you.”‌ ‌Dean‌ ‌spoke‌ ‌with‌ ‌bated‌ ‌breathe‌ ‌between‌ ‌each‌ ‌kiss‌ ‌he‌ ‌pressed‌ ‌to‌ ‌his‌ ‌lover’s‌ ‌mouth.‌ ‌Cas’‌ ‌smile‌ ‌widening‌ ‌in‌ ‌between‌ ‌each‌ ‌one‌ ‌until‌ ‌he‌ ‌encouraged‌ ‌Dean‌ ‌to‌ ‌pull‌ ‌away,‌ ‌ ‌‌

“Not‌ ‌that‌ ‌I‌ ‌don’t‌ ‌love‌ ‌what‌ ‌you’re‌ ‌doing‌ ‌right‌ ‌now,‌ ‌but‌ ‌I‌ ‌would‌ ‌rather‌ ‌if‌ ‌we‌ ‌finished‌ ‌this‌ ‌in‌ ‌private,‌ ‌maybe‌ ‌in‌ ‌bed‌ ‌and‌ ‌without‌ ‌the‌ ‌audience?”‌ ‌He‌ ‌suggested‌ ‌before‌ ‌gesturing‌ ‌to‌ ‌Sam,‌ ‌Jack‌ ‌and‌ ‌Miracle‌ ‌who‌ ‌had‌ ‌retreated‌ ‌back‌ ‌to‌ ‌the‌ ‌car.‌ ‌Sam‌ ‌was‌ ‌facing‌ ‌Jack‌ ‌talking‌ ‌in‌ ‌hushed‌ ‌voices‌ ‌but‌ ‌by‌ ‌the‌ ‌looks‌ ‌on‌ ‌both‌ ‌their‌ ‌faces,‌ ‌they‌ ‌had‌ ‌been‌ ‌watching‌ ‌the‌ ‌pair’s‌ ‌reunion‌ ‌both‌ ‌parties‌ ‌smiling‌ ‌endlessly.‌ 

‌‌Dean‌ ‌should‌ ‌have‌ ‌been‌ ‌embarrassed,‌ ‌but‌ ‌he‌ ‌wasn’t.‌ ‌Not‌ ‌now,‌ ‌with‌ ‌Cas‌ ‌here,‌ ‌actually‌ ‌here‌ ‌in‌ ‌the‌ ‌gritty‌ ‌dirt‌ ‌and‌ ‌smiling‌ ‌as‌ ‌he‌ ‌pressed‌ ‌a‌ ‌final‌ ‌kiss‌ ‌to‌ ‌the‌ ‌corner‌ ‌of‌ ‌his‌ ‌mouth‌ ‌before‌ ‌getting‌ ‌up.‌ ‌

Cas‌ ‌dusted‌ ‌off‌ ‌the‌ ‌trenchcoat‌ ‌that‌ ‌had‌ ‌fallen‌ ‌out‌ ‌of‌ ‌his‌ ‌grip‌ ‌and‌ ‌to‌ ‌the‌ ‌ground,‌ ‌before‌ ‌outstretching‌ ‌his‌ ‌hand‌ ‌to‌ ‌Dean.‌ ‌‌Dean‌ ‌accepted‌ ‌the‌ ‌offer‌ ‌without‌ ‌any‌ ‌hesitation,‌ ‌and‌ ‌gasped‌ ‌as‌ ‌Cas‌ ‌pulled‌ ‌him‌ ‌up‌ ‌quickly,‌ ‌smashing‌ ‌their‌ ‌lips‌ ‌together‌ ‌not‌ ‌so‌ ‌gracefully,‌ ‌teeth‌ ‌clashing‌ ‌making‌ ‌both‌ ‌men‌ ‌pull‌ ‌back‌ ‌and‌ ‌groan‌ ‌in‌ ‌pain‌ ‌while‌ ‌laughing,‌ 

‌“For‌ ‌a‌ ‌human,‌ ‌you’re‌ ‌still‌ ‌pretty‌ ‌strong.”‌ ‌‌

“You’d‌ ‌be‌ ‌quite‌ ‌surprised‌ ‌how‌ ‌strong‌ ‌I‌ ‌can‌ ‌be,‌ ‌Dean.‌ ‌Maybe‌ ‌we‌ ‌can‌ ‌test‌ ‌one‌ ‌another‌ ‌out‌ ‌sometime?”‌

 ‌‌“Oh,‌ ‌is‌ ‌that‌ ‌a‌ ‌challenge‌ ‌I‌ ‌hear?”‌ ‌Dean‌ ‌laughed,‌ ‌ready‌ ‌to‌ ‌jump‌ ‌into‌ ‌proving‌ ‌Cas‌ ‌wrong,‌ ‌but‌ ‌the‌ ‌soft‌ ‌shake‌ ‌of‌ ‌the‌ ‌head‌ ‌and‌ ‌loving‌ ‌blue‌ ‌eyes‌ ‌stopped‌ ‌him‌ ‌as‌ ‌the‌ ‌angel,‌ ‌or‌ ‌no‌ ‌longer‌ ‌angel‌ ‌replied,‌ ‌‌‌

“No,‌ ‌a‌ ‌promise,‌ ‌to‌ ‌never‌ ‌leave‌ ‌you‌ ‌again.”‌ ‌‌

Dean’s‌ ‌nod‌ded ‌as‌ ‌he‌ ‌bit ‌back‌ ‌another‌ ‌sob‌, ‌fumbling ‌to‌ ‌say his next new words,‌ ‌“I’ll‌ ‌keep‌ ‌you‌ ‌to‌ ‌that.”‌

                                                        ‌‌__‌ ‌‌

Dean‌ ‌spent‌ ‌most‌ ‌of‌ ‌his‌ ‌days‌ ‌working‌ ‌in‌ ‌the‌ ‌garage‌ ‌of‌ ‌their‌ ‌home,‌ ‌under‌ ‌the‌ ‌hood‌ ‌of‌ ‌Baby‌ ‌or‌ ‌any‌ ‌of‌ ‌their‌ ‌friend’s‌ ‌cars,‌ ‌welcoming‌ ‌the‌ ‌feel‌ ‌of‌ ‌oil‌ ‌and‌ ‌grease‌ ‌that‌ ‌clung‌ ‌to‌ ‌his‌ ‌skin‌ ‌and‌ ‌T-shirt.‌ ‌

A‌ ‌towel‌ ‌was‌ ‌thrown‌ ‌over‌ ‌his‌ ‌shoulder,‌ ‌beads‌ ‌of‌ ‌sweat‌ ‌dripping‌ ‌down‌ ‌on‌ ‌his‌ ‌forehead‌ ‌as‌ ‌he‌ ‌used‌ ‌the back of his‌ ‌arm‌ ‌to‌ ‌wipe‌ ‌it‌ ‌away‌ ‌just‌ ‌as‌ ‌a‌ ‌shrill‌ ‌voice‌ ‌called‌ ‌out‌ ‌to‌ ‌him.‌ 

‌‌“Dad,‌ ‌Dad,‌ ‌I‌ ‌finished‌ ‌my‌ ‌project‌ ‌for‌ ‌school,‌ ‌do‌ ‌you‌ ‌want‌ ‌to‌ ‌see?”‌ ‌ ‌‌

Rebecca‌ ‌Winchester‌ ‌ran‌ ‌into‌ ‌the‌ ‌garage‌ ‌through‌ ‌the‌ ‌door‌ ‌that‌ ‌led‌ ‌to‌ ‌the‌ ‌kitchen‌ ‌and‌ ‌laughed‌ ‌seeing‌ ‌her‌ ‌father‌ ‌coated‌ ‌in‌ ‌the‌ ‌grime‌ ‌from‌ ‌the‌ ‌car.‌ ‌

Dean‌ ‌smiled,‌ ‌putting‌ ‌his‌ ‌tools‌ ‌and‌ ‌tweaking‌ ‌to‌ ‌a‌ ‌halt‌ ‌as‌ ‌he‌ ‌used‌ ‌the‌ ‌towel‌ ‌to‌ ‌wipe‌ ‌away‌ ‌any‌ ‌remaining‌ ‌oil‌ ‌on‌ ‌his‌ ‌hands,‌ ‌he‌ ‌smiled‌ ‌at‌ ‌her‌ ‌enthusiasm,‌ ‌‌

“I’m‌ ‌assuming‌ ‌your‌ ‌father‌ ‌helped‌ ‌with‌ ‌the‌ ‌painting,‌ ‌or‌ ‌did‌ ‌you‌ ‌do‌ ‌it‌ ‌all‌ ‌by‌ ‌yourself?”‌ ‌‌

“By‌ ‌myself‌ ‌but‌ ‌he ‌watched‌ ‌and‌ ‌tried‌ ‌to‌ ‌step‌ ‌in,‌ ‌I‌ ‌gave‌ ‌him‌ ‌a‌ ‌kitten‌ ‌picture‌ ‌to‌ ‌paint‌ ‌instead, it’s up on the fridge npw.”‌ ‌The‌ ‌girl‌ ‌shrugged‌ ‌grinning‌ ‌as‌ ‌the‌ ‌statement‌ ‌made‌ ‌Dean‌ ‌laugh,‌ ‌ ‌

"That's my girl, okay, lead the way."

Dean chuckled as the young girl eagerly grabbed her father's hand, pulling him from his station beside Baby and up the steps into the kitchen where he noticed it was darker than usual. 

A nervous tick grew in Dean as he reached for a gun that was not by his side, jumping in shock as the lights flickered back on and the unexpected scene was met before him,

"Surprise!"

His friends and family cried in celebration, crowding around the dining table that was full of food and beverages. Streamers were strung up and hung from the ceiling along with balloons and poppers that Dean was grateful remained on the table unpopped.

"Happy birthday!" Rebecca cheered gleefully as others repeated her words. Dean's smile reached his eyes, head buried into his hands as he laughed and took in the faces of all his friends before he landed on the man in the middle,

"Cas, did you-"

The blue eyed man gave a cheeky grin as he walked over to his lover, arms reaching to circle around his waist, pulling Dean closely until his head touched his chest and muttered incoherent words into the oil stained t-shirt. 

Dean gripped Cas tightly around the shoulders before the two pulled away, Cas holding up has right hand to take Dean's own, their two wedding bands glinting in the dim kitchen light.

"Happy birthday Dean," Sam spoke as he handed an opened beer to his brother in celebration. Beside him, Eileen was linked by his side, a hand grazing the side of her waist as both her hands were holding down the bubbling five year old boy who was trying to jump up and be carried by his Uncle De'.

Dean thanked his brother and family, handing Cas the beer for a moment before crouching down to Jonathan Winchester's height, ruffling the boys hair, and lifting him up into the air, spinning him around before placing him back down to the ground. The adults smiled hearing the childs laughter and his pleading words to ‘do it again’ repeated endlessly. Rebecca grabbed Jon's hand and brought him over to the food table instead, and the kid's eyes widening as she asked him what he wanted to eat.

Cas and Dean moved around the room, the two of them glued to one another's side as they talked to everyone who had come to surprise him. Jodie and Donna hugged Dean tightly, both offering words of congratualtions and comfort that made Dean's heart swell. He rolled his eyes, pretending to be offended when Claire made a, not so quiet, comment about his age which had others around them chuckling too, but Dean couldn't keep the frown on his face for too long. 

He moved forward and pulled Claire into a hug that she pretended to fight off before giving up and hugging the older man back, lightly punching his shoulder as they moved away, her hand falling back to hold Kaia's who was standing beside her. Both Kaia and Alex shared brief words and birthday wishes with Dean until the man spotted Charlie and excused himself to meet the red headed nerd who pulled him into a tight hug.

Stevie was next as she hugged Dean and thanked Cas for inviting them. Dean glanced to Cas who smiled offering an 'of course, thank you for coming' just as the doorbell to their house rang. 

Without thinking, Dean shouts that he'll get it, pecking Cas on the lips and squeezing his side before removing himself from his hold as he makes truth on his words, moving toward the front door. His smile couldn't widen any further as he saw the figure before him,

"Hello Dean, happy birthday!" Jack chirpped happily.  

“Hey kid, c’mon in.” Dean responded, opening the door wider and calling to his husband to show him who had arrived at the door.

Although Jack had insisted that he would be excluding himself from the story, to do what Chuck couldn't, Jack knew that his words wouldn't last. Not when it meant not seeing his family. 

It started with the first Christmas of the Winchester's and their lovers being back together. By this point they were still using the bunker as their home until they could find their own respective houses closer to their friends.

Jack had been nervous to knock on the door, some part of him thinking that maybe he wasn't welcome here, but one smile from Sam and a hug barely seconds later, had diminished these thoughts quickly as Sam called for Dean to grab an extra plate, more family had arrived.

Jack shared hugs with everyone, the last being Cas who squeezed him tightly, pressing a kiss to his son’s head before saying they could catch up properly after dinner. Dean cut the turkey, and they all handed each other the many trays and bowls of food to fill their plates and stomachs.

They pulled Christmas crackers which Jack had snapped over from Britain, and wore colourful paper hats, laughing as Dean's ripped and someone made the comment of him having too big a head.

From there, Jack decided to spilt his duty between Heaven and Earth, making sure that everything was running smoothly up top while also spending time with his loved ones with every special occasion that came about, where he could, for once, be at peace and be a kid with his family.

As the years grew on, the brothers moved into a routine, making sure there was a spare room in both their houses just for Jack to stay in even though it wasn't necessary, but Jack liked that he had a place to go if he ever needed to think, or just be, for even a few moments.

He and Dean even went fishing together a few times every year, and Dean still gave Jack driving lessons although the use of a car wasn't needed for the young God anymore but he still appreciated the time spent alone with one of his father's. 

The one time Dean asked Jack if he wanted to see a baseball game with him, the boy was more than delighted to attend, sitting by Dean's side as they ate hotdogs that were too big for their mouths. And even though Jack couldn't understand the rules of baseball, no matter how many times Dean tried and failed to explain them, Jack couldn't think of anywhere else he wanted to be.

Jack was a God, the creator of the new Heaven and protector of all the souls that entered, but he was also a son to his three fathers, a brother to Rebecca and Jon. He was an Angel, he was the son of Lucifer, but most importantly, he was a Winchester.

And when the time was right, and his family grew old, their lives ending in the most peaceful way possible, Jack remembered Cas' words of wisdom about humans; how even though Sam and Dean, and now Cas, were extraordinary, brave and special as humans, that's what they were, human.

And even though they burn bright like stars in the sky, time would be short and one day they would be gone from the earth. Jack was just lucky that even when they died he would be able to see them again, in heaven, with everyone else they loved and missed.

Peace on Earth and peace above, who would have thought it could ever be like this?

[choonlo]

Hey ⑇ p.js

a park jisung oneshot

genre : fluff

wc : 4k

The screams got noticeably louder when a familiar tune began to play from the speakers.

A bead of sweat trickled from the side of your forehead down to your neck as you desperately tried to fan yourself with your hands. Joined by a few other fans, the six members of NCT Dream were in the middle of the crowd, dancing to their latest song, "Boom". You hadn't expected this to happen—actually, none of the people here had, not even the host of the occasion. It was merely a coincidence, you thought. For Korean idols to appear and eventually join this random K-Pop dance event was something out of a fangirl's dream, your dream, and everyone else's for that matter.

As you rapped Jaemin's lines along with the crowd, you let your eyes take in as much of your bias as you could. Park Jisung was indeed just a few meters away from you. Hell, you hadn't had the chance to go to concerts your whole life, but guess what? Your very first one was free, and it was better than those VIP seats that you couldn't afford with the five bucks you called your "savings".

It was hot. It felt like the sun's rays were stabbing your skin, and the heat from being squished in the middle of the cluster of sweaty bodies certainly didn't help either. You ignored the pounding in your head and focused on Jisung who was now dancing to Chewing Gum. The corners of your lips twitched upward. It's been years since the song was released, and you could still remember the curly hair that had brought you into the fandom.

Despite the obvious changes from 2016 Jisung and the present, you could still feel the childlike innocence that radiated from him, the absolute cuteness that caught your eye when you first watched their debut video.

Minutes passed, and they were finally done. The host was now talking to the group, thanking them as each of the members took their turn in shaking his hand. Most of the people were filming the moment, wanting to have something to remember the experience with. You would've been doing the same, but you weren't. It didn't occur to your mind that you should've been doing something like taking a picture, of recording a video on your phone. Instead of doing any of these, you screamed.

"I LOVE YOU PARK JISUNG!"

You had screamed at the top of your lungs, your shrill voice piercing through and drowning out every other noise. Silence suddenly existed in the busy area you were in thanks to you, and you hadn't noticed what you'd done until Jisung's eyes locked with yours.

Actually, all eyes were on you, but it was as if you and Jisung were the only ones there, as cliché as it sounded. Was it mentioned that you were wearing a shirt with Jisung's name and face imprinted on it? And that your backpack was embedded with NCT enamel pins, half of them being, again, Jisung's face. Well, now you remembered.

Finally, you snapped out of your trance and slapped a hand over your mouth, face flushing when you realised the amount of attention being directed to you. A few people started laughing, giggling, whatever. Some went "aww" at your adorable reaction. This made you look down at your feet, and because you did so, you failed to see how Jisung's cheeks reddened, too.

×

Having finished your grieving session, you walk down the stairs to grab a glass of water, phone in hand. You've been wailing in your room for the past few hours, and you basically let your heart out as your parents weren't home yet. But you were probably loud enough that your neighbours may have thought of calling the police, which they thankfully hadn't.

"Legit, I wouldn't be surprised if Jisung has a fanboy crush on you right now," Kim clicked her tongue, her voice seemingly laced with excitement.

Videos of NCT Dream's appearance earlier had started to circulate the internet, not one from any of the social media platforms you used didn't have at least ten posts about the afternoon event downtown.

Of course, that wasn't what had gotten you riled up.

There were clips dedicated to you, most having your face clearly shown in them. Notifications from your phone blew up the moment you got home, friends and strangers spamming you with messages, and you weren't surprised that some even had threats.

Apparently, a lot had seen how Jisung reacted, and some speculations of you being someone more than a fan began to spread across the whole fandom. Oh boy, how you wished.

"Um, no," you retorted, placing the glass on the coaster as you plopped yourself onto the couch. "Did you even see my face in those videos? I looked like crap! Jisung probably felt embarrassed!"

"That's not the overly confident Y/N I know," Kim laughed through the phone. You roll your eyes at her comment. "You looked cute! Like, you looked haggard as fuck, but it was the pretty type of haggard!"

"What does that even mean?" You were annoyed, but you couldn't help but laugh at her statement. "This isn't a fanfiction, Kim."

She groaned, "Oh shut up, ten bucks to you if you don't get involved with NCT's Jisung within a month."

"Are you serious?" you replied, enthused. "You do know that I'm totally winning that bet?"

"Yeah, sure." As she spoke, you heard your phone emit a soft ring from the coffee table. You lean forward from the couch to peak at the screen, there was a notification from your social media, someone had just sent you a message.

"Was that yours?" Kim asked. Your response was a mere hum as you took the device into your hand. It was from a user whose name was literally "akzkjzjsj", and you almost ignored it if it weren't for Kim's comment; "I bet it's Jisung."

Squinting, you saw how the person's icon was a picture of the ceiling, nothing else but a light bulb in the image, like it had been taken just now for a one time use.

akzkjzjsj

: hey

Curious, you were. It didn't seem like a bot. Maybe the person would give you threats, too? It made sense, as it was an account that had just been made.

PJiuwusuwung

: whats up?

akzkjzjsj

: do u know nct

You scoffed, wasn't that already obvious? Ignoring Kim's voice, you typed in a reply.

PJiuwusuwung

: this is legit a jisung fan account ur talking to

akzkjzjsj

: ok

: can we meet up tomorok?

: tomorrow*

PJiuwusuwung

: um what i dont even know u???

akzkjzjsj

: that dog cafe downtown tom at 3 pm

: Nthnkzs (:

Your eyebrows furrowed. "What?" you let out a confused noise, beginning to type once again.

PJiuwusuwung

: wtf !

: what makes u think i'll go !

: hEllo? !

Noticing that your messages weren't sending, you clicked on the person's icon. A wry laugh bubbled from your throat, the person had blocked you. You exited the application and placed the phone back onto the small table.

"Are you done ignoring me?" Kim's irritated voice made you sigh. "What happened? Wait! Don't tell me Jisung actually contacted you."

"No, it wasn't him," you began, "Some guy—or girl, just asked to meet up tomorrow at that dog cafe we go to a lot. And guess what? The asshole blocked me before I could even reply."

"Don't go," she said with a stern tone. "It might be sasaengs, you should be careful when going out. Some people can be dumb enough to do something crazy before thinking twice."

Kim was right, but you decided to brush it off. "Calm down, it's not like I was planning to go anyway," you chuckled lightly, shaking your head.

"Yeah, good to know."

×

"Dad, I'm going out!"

"Where to?" he questioned. Slipping your shoes on, you thought of what your best friend had told you the night before. You technically weren't going to the cafe. There was a sale in the small store downtown, and you didn't want to pass the chance to get your hands on K-Pop merch for lower prices. Obviously, you had to ask for money from your mother, and she was reluctant to give you any, but you had begged enough that she was finally just forced to do so.

"I'm going to meet up with Kim downtown."

"Have fun," he replied. "Don't stay out too late."

After half an hour, you finally arrived. You entered the store, but not without bumping into a few bodies, the place was filled with people after all. Noticing how many customers crowded around the NCT section, you lowered your cap, and you snickered silently. Why were you acting like this? You thought you were being too dramatic, they probably had no clue who you were, anyway.

Your hand hovered an inch above the mask you wore before you stopped, hearing the conversation of the girls by the stand.

"Have you seen that video Jisung? The one where he acted weird when that one fan suddenly screamed "I love you" out loud?" one of them asked, studying Jisung's photocard in her hand.

"Who hasn't? Ugh, seriously, I would've went if I had known that Dream would show up!" the other whined. "The girl is so lucky, all the members looked at her at the same time! I would sell my kidney just to experience that!"

A shiver ran down your spine. It certainly wasn't nice to hear people talking about you, even though it wasn't anything bad, it made you uncomfortable.

Saving the money given to you was undeniably the better option rather than staying here. Right when you turned your back to walk out of the store, your head bumped into someone's chest. You softly mumbled an apology and stepped aside.

A hand grabbed your arm, and you felt yourself stiffen. Fuck, were you recognized? You didn't even wear the bag you wore yesterday, and you had normal clothes on, not those unofficial NCT shirts you usually used. How could someone possibly. . You tried to jerk your arm away from the person's grasp, but his voice stopped you.

"Good thing you didn't remove your mask," he remarked before pulling you out of the store. You knew better than to attract attention to yourself and the boy, and because you had an idea of who he was, you didn't cry for help. Once the two of you were a good distance away from the shop, you pulled your arm out of his grip and stepped back.

"What do you—"

"Don't worry! I won't do anything to you," the boy chuckled, shrugging his shoulders awkwardly. You look at him, he wasn't Jisung, the neon hair peaking out from the front of his hat said otherwise.

"Zhon—"

"Hey now! No blowing our covers!" Chenle hushed you as he crossed his arms, sending you a playful glare. He noticed your confused expression and sighed. "Why are you even here? Didn't we tell you to go to the dog cafe down the street?"

"Wh—" you paused. Realisation hits you like a truck and you gasp, hands moving to slap your cheeks. The person who had messaged you last night, the one who'd asked you to meet up. Was it Chenle?? "Why did you want to meet me?"

"Me? Oh no, not me! All we did was talk to you for Jisung," he explained, voice retreating to a soft whisper at the end of his sentence. Before he could say anything else, you cut him off.

"We?"

He tilted his head in confusion before letting out a sound and clasping his hands together. "I mean me, and the other members, aside from the youngest."

"You see," he continued, "Jisung basically developed a crush on you when he saw you yesterday! He couldn't stop asking himself, and us, what your name was and if he was your favourite among all the members—which was obvious because his face was literally on your shirt."

Chenle shuts his mouth, realising what he was doing. "I'm sorry for babbling. Jisung's waiting for you in the cafe, you should go now!"

He twirls you around and gives your back a push, snapping you out. "Wait, I—"

"Follow me," another boy shows up in front of you. You feel your head pound from everything that's happening, but you follow him nonetheless as he crosses the street. It takes the two of you a few minutes to get to the doors of the cafe, and you almost feel like fainting right there and then.

"I-I still have so many questions," you stare up at the person who escorted you to the cafe. The familiar eyes were enough for you to know that you were talking to Lee Jeno. "Can I pleas—"

"You should get in and sit down," he assured, giving you a pat on the shoulder. "You'll have your questions answered in there."

You nodded your head and tiredly pushed passed the door, the bell ringing from the motion. Puppies started to swarm around your feet, and you began to feel better as you squatted down in an attempt to stop the dizziness you felt.

As you pet the small poodle softly on its head, you take notice of the person who knelt beside you. Raising your head, your eyes immediately meet his. Jisung's face blushes a bright red, and you head the choked howling from the other side of the cafe. The other three members were clearly here.

"H-Hey," he uttered softly, averting his gaze onto the puppies that played with you. "I'm Park Jisung."

Despite the awkwardness, you didn't stop the laugh that bubble from your throat, and Jisung was glad that you didn't, because your voice truly was music to his ears.

"You didn't have to introduce yourself, Jisung." You wanted to give yourself a good ol' pat on the back as you smiled at him, making him even more flustered than before. It was weird, you should've been the one unable to talk properly! He was your idol, after all.

"Do you—I—uh, should—" Jisung was being the exact meme you'd expected him to be, and you felt your lips twitch at his cuteness.

"Let's take a seat on the tables—I mean chairs, the chairs, yes," he kept on stammering, standing up and holding a hand out for you. Now it's your turn to be awkward, staring at his hand for a long time before feeling the heat rise up to your ears.

"Oh, I'm supposed to—" you took his hand and stood up. The other members couldn't stop themselves from making noise. Chenle, who had already entered silently from behind the two of you, would've burst out laughing if it weren't for the four covering his mouth.

The two of you settle at the table further inside of the cafe, cautious of the fans that may possibly pass by. Jisung sat across from you, facing away from the transparent walls. Silence lasted for a long moment before he finally spoke up, "So, how long have you been a fan of our group?"

You looked up from the puppy on your lap and bit back a smile. He actually spoke without stuttering this time. "I started liking NCT when I saw Dream's debut video."

You saw the interest sparkle from Jisung's eyes as he leaned forward, intrigued. "I was actually skeptical about it first, because I wasn't quite a fan of cutesy concepts. But once I watched it, your unit became my favourite group."

"Why's that?" he wondered, tilting his head to the side cutely. An action so adorable that it made your heart skip a beat.

"W-Well, first of all, the song was catchy," you shifted on your seat, avoiding his gaze. "The vocals and raps were everything. I even spent my time trying to learn the choreography!"

You were about to start talking again before you remembered who was sitting in front of you. It was hard to do anything when you knew that the Park Jisung was giving all his attention to you.

The corners of Jisung's mouth quirked into a grin, he knew his effect on you, but he didn't want that to ruin this rare opportunity to be able to spend his time with someone he liked. "Hey." His voice made your shoulders jump. "Let's try to be comfortable with each other. Just talk to me, and I'll listen."

Because I want to get to know you better.

"Actually," he began when you finally faced him, "I was wondering if—"

"Sorry to interrupt," Renjun's voice startled the both of you, and Jaemin had to slap his shoulder to stop him from giggling. "Your drinks are with us,"

The two boys moved to the side of your table and placed each beverage on the coaster provided. Your eyebrows raise when you realize that the one given to you was your favourite. Jaemin was beaming, and seeing Renjun give you a polite smile, you decided not to question it and thanked them before they retreated back to their spot.

Either they stalked you hardcore, or they asked the lady in the counter for your usual.

"G-Go on," you shyly urge Jisung to continue, looking down into the glass as you look a sip from the straw.

"Can I get your number?"

He'd said it so softly, so sweetly, and oh so smoothly that you almost choked, shocked at his straightforward question. You face becomes beet red and you clumsily try to get an answer out.

Jisung sees how you react and panics as well, "I m-mean you don't have to! I just—"

"It's okay!" you cut him off, shaking your head profusely. He went silent, and so did you, not knowing what to say. What's next? Your mind was a total mess as you tried to think. Finally, you decided on getting your phone out, but he beats you to it, handing you his phone with a new contact ready to be added.

He knew that your first da—meeting, wouldn't go well. Jisung was an idol, and you were his fan. Although he was glad that you didn't go brain-dead, it was still a shame that the two of you couldn't speak to each other properly as it was, clearly, awkward.

That's why he thought that getting your number would be best, as he could easily talk to you without you seeing him get flustered about everything you did. It was an idea that he was proud of, so he couldn't help but bite his lip in an attempt to hide his smile as he watched you type in your number.

"H-Here," you return the gadget, looking away embarrassed and bewildered. Park Jisung asked you for your number. Park Jisung has your number. Park Jisung plans to contact you after all of this. The Park Jisung, actually knows you?

Jisung shot up from his seat, arm sticking out ready to catch you when you almost fell off your seat sideways. He moved to kneel beside you, pressing a hand onto your forehead and taking your wrist into the other, "Are you okay?"

It felt like your body was on fire when he touched you. "I-I-I am! Yeah, I'm good! Totally good!" you yelped, gently peeling his hand away from your head.

"But you're hot to the touch!" he protested.

"That's because I'm blushing!" you shook your head, pulling him up to stand. "I'm not sick, I'm just flustered."

"O-oh," he mutters, rubbing the back of his neck. "Sorry about that."

"Don't worry, it's not your fault!" Well it is his fault, WHAT WERE YOU SAYING? You mentally slapped yourself and opened your mouth to speak.

"I—"

"Jisung!" a voice softly hissed. Donghyuck moved hastily, slamming his hands onto the table harshly. He turns to your and gives you a smile. "Hello, Y/N."

"Hi?"

The boy laughs and turns back to his friend, shooting Jisung a panicked glare. "We have to go. Now. The manager is looking for us!"

Both your eyes widen and the two of you stand up in unison. Haechan pats Jisung on the chest before hurrying back, and Jisung looks back at you.

"I can see that you have to go," you gestured to the boys in chaos from the other side of the room. You quickly took notice of the apologetic face he had. "Don't be sorry, I understand. Now go! I don't want any of you getting in trouble."

Jisung nodded and took your hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. Your breath hitched when he pecked your cheek before he runs out of the store with the other members, but not without sending you a last wave. You stood there, dumbfounded, a hand on the place where Jisung had kissed you.

A moment passes and you finally recollect yourself, staggering toward the counter to pay for the drinks you had. The lady smiled and returned the money, "Those boys already paid."

You uttered a soft "oh" before nodding your head and walking out of the cafe. Damn, the past hour felt like an eternity! You were dead on your feet when you arrived home, and you quietly made your way upstairs to your room as your father's snores echoed through the living room.

Crashing down onto the softness of your bed, you let out a tired moan. It didn't take long before you felt yourself drifting off to sleep.

×

A vibration from your leg woke you up, and you groaned as you sat up, rubbing your eyes and looking around your room. You yawned, stretching your arms out and arching your back. "That was one hell of a dream."

You reached for the phone that had gotten out of your pocket, and you blink. Why were you wearing the clothes you had on in your dream? A gasp escapes your lips and you quickly unlock your phone. An unknown number had sent you a message.

Unknown #

: hey

: its mee

You

: who is me?

: j88sufn?

: jisung??

Fingers shaking, you clicked your tongue as you had wanted to slap yourself for being so nervous.

Unknown #

: your one and only :))

You wanted to yell at the top of your lungs, but all that came out was a croak, your voice getting stuck down your throat.

You

: BUT i thought it was a dream?

: are u messing w me

The person takes time to respond before the bubble disappears. Instead, they sent a picture of you playing with the dog in the cafe you were in earlier.

Unknown #

: certainly wasn't a dream

: anywayyy how r u?

You take a full minute to process what was happening and slowly let your thumbs type.

UWUSUNG

: hold that thought

: i gtg for practice, i'll ttyl c:

: ♥️

What? Did Jisung just send you a heart? You, Y/N L/N, could talk to Park Jisung anytime you wanted to. It felt like a dream, like you were being one of those delusional fangirls. But you weren't, because this was real, you concluded after biting onto your arm.

You hadn't sent a reply back after that, as it was too much for you to take in. This only happens when your crush is in the same school as you, not when your crush is an actual idol from SM Entertainment!

You almost threw your phone the moment it rang, someone was calling you. Was it Jisung? No! He left to practice!

The contact "Kim✨😘" flashed from the screen and you sighed in relief, feeling your shoulders relax before you answered the call. Not waiting for her to make a sound, you squealed into the mic, earning a shout from her.

"What the actual FUCK?" she growled. You shrugged her clear annoyance off and started rambling about what happened. Kim, on the other hand, couldn't understand a word you were saying, telling you to shut up.

"Okay, calmly, tell me what happened," she told you, letting you breathe in normally. As you were about to speak, your phone vibrated, and you held it in front of you to check the screen. Jisung had sent you a picture of himself, although it seemed like it was taken by someone else. He was posing for the camera, a sheepish grin on his face as he went with the awkward peace sign.

You let out a laugh at this, finding the picture, which was presumably taken by Chenle, cute. You replied with a heart after saving the image.

"Hey." You heard her huff. "Did you hit your head or something?"

"Hey," you repeated, lips a permanent smile. "Let's meet up tomorrow."

"Sure, but why?"

"Because you're getting your ten bucks tomorrow."

[rogertaylors-lipgloss]

College AU! John Deacon x Reader: Roommates to Lovers Req. Pt. 1/?

A/N: obviously the timeline in this story does not quite match-up with reality, but this is a work of fiction. 

Original Request

@supersugarytea asked:

“Hey I was wondering if you could do a fanfiction where the reader lives with John Deacon and the reader meets Roger Taylor starts falling for him but when she confesses to him he turns her down. When you get home John senses there is something wrong with the reader and comforts her Roger goes to see her the next day only to find her sleeping with John and gets jealous.”

I am so so so so so so so sorry for how long this took me, please forgive me! BUT, I do finally have something for you, so I really hope you like it. I did tweak the prompt just a bit to where Reader already knows Rog but it follows essentially the same premise, I hope that’s okay! I also made this an AU where reader and the rest of Queen all go to the same school. I am in love with John Richard Deacon and since this will be my first fic with him, I really wanted it to be perfect and I liked this prompt so much that I’m turning it into a multi-shot (again, I hope that’s okay).

Warnings: Angst and Fluff. Smut to come (pun intended). 

Word Count: 3, 017 (Hence, why I made it a multi-shot). 

As always, I hope you guys like this and please please please reblog! Let me know if you’d like to be added to the taglist for this fic or my permanent taglist and send me an ask if you have a request!

Masterlist

---------------------------------

*beep*beep*beep*

You rolled over and slapped the top of your alarm clock, silencing the menace. If I skip washing my hair, I can sleep another 30 minutes, you thought, and closed your eyes. But before you could drift back off, the door to your bedroom flew open and you felt the bed drop behind you under the weight of your roommate, John.

“No, no, no.” You buried your face into your pillow.

“Oh, yes, yes, yes, Y/N.” His fingers brushed your hair out of your face while his other hand rubbed circles on your back. “You told me, and I quote, ‘Deacy, don’t let my lazy ass oversleep on the first day of classes.’”

You groaned. He was right. You sat up and threw your legs over the side of the bed. John laughed at your hideous bedhead, and you shot him a glare. It was so hard for you to be mad at him, though. Looking him up and down, you could tell that he had clearly be awake long enough to get dressed. His long, curly brown hair freshly blow-dried and brushed, hanging neatly past his shoulders. He was dressed in a long-sleeved, dark Navy button-up shirt tucked into brown corduroy bells, white clogs adorning his feet.  Handsome as ever, you thought to yourself.

“I showered last night so that you would have plenty of hot water. Go get ready and I’ll fix breakfast.” By breakfast, he meant cheese on toast for himself and just coffee for you.

“Have I ever told you that you’re my favorite?” He laughed, giving your shoulder a squeeze before leaving your room.

You relished the feeling of the hot water pouring over your skin. The scalding liquid left your skin red, but that was just how you liked it. John knew that. Only he could be so considerate. You had randomly picked up a roommate flyer on campus when you’d first moved to start at Imperial College and somehow ended up with the best friend you’d ever had in John. The two of you had hit it off immediately and you moved into his apartment the next day.

Once dressed, you met John in the kitchen, where he handed you a steaming mug. “Thanks, love.” You gave him a peck on the cheek and turned grab your backpack. John’s heart swelled, but he quickly suppressed the emotion. He’d come to the decision a long time ago to never act on his feelings for you. He would much rather pine from afar than risk losing you forever.

You felt the same way. Every small act of kindness John threw your way set your heart on fire. Sure that you were reading too much into it, you kept your true feelings under lock and key. Your life was better with him than without, and you worried that any confession on your part would send him running in the opposite direction.

Pulling himself out of his own thoughts, John cleared his throat and looked to you. “Are you ready?” Nodding, you grabbed the keys to John’s car and tossed them to him. You followed close behind as he led the two of you out the front door.

Your morning rides to campus were some of your favorite moments with John, as they were some of his with you. No talking, just singing along to whatever music you’d settled on that particular day. You pulled a cassette tape out of the glovebox and pushed it into the radio dash.  A smile played on the corners of John’s lips as the sounds of Elton John’s most recent album, Honky Chateau flooded the speakers. You fast-forwarded the tape to play “Rocketman,” which was no surprise to John. He knew it had been stuck in your head for a while, having heard it seeping through the wall your two bedrooms shared. He learned early on that you fell asleep listening to music, and if it had been anyone else he would have complained. He often found himself humming along to whatever tune you’d selected for the evening, sometimes even drifting off himself. If he couldn’t share your bed, this was the next best thing, he thought. It made him feel connected to you.

You sang out every word. John loved how raw your voice was, like honey. His heart sank when he saw campus come into view, knowing he’d have to wait until later to hear it again. You looked over at John as he maneuvered the car into a parking place, his long, brown hair creeping over his eyes. Without thinking, you reached over and tucked it behind his ears. Your touch made him blush and he turned his head so you couldn’t see.

“See you at home?” You asked, unbuckling your seatbelt and reaching for your bag that you’d tossed in the back.

“Are you not riding back with me?” John looked at you, confused.

You shook your head. “I’ve got lab today, so Rog is going to give me a ride home.”

You’d moved in with John before he joined the group now known as Queen, so the boys considered you to be as much a part of the band as he was. You’d made fast friends with Brian, Freddie, and Roger, and it was Roger who’d convinced you to take biology this semester. You were absolute shit at science of any kind, but he hadn’t wanted to take the class alone and swore up and down that he wouldn’t let you fail. You had begrudgingly agreed, much to the chagrin of John. He had nothing against Roger, they were close friends, but he knew the affect the blonde drummer had on women.

“Right. Forgot about that,” he mumbled, turning the car off and fumbling with his own seatbelt.

You slid your arms through the straps of your backpack and waved at John as you headed in the opposite direction of his first class. “Later, Deacs!”

It had already been a long day by the time you trudged into the science building. The professor for your first class had greeted you with a pop quiz to “see what you remembered” from the previous semester (which was nothing), and the professor in the class after that had decided that the first day of class was the perfect time to assign your first essay of the semester. Lunch was your only reprieve. The caf had been serving pizza, the only thing it could make that didn’t taste like it’d been soaking in dirty grease for a week beforehand. You managed to find your class with Roger just in time for the professor to call roll.

You quickly slid into the seat Roger had saved for you, and he leaned over and whispered in your ear, “Cutting it a bit close, eh? I can only help you pass if you actually show up.” You elbowed him in the ribs and turned to deliver a snappy comeback when the professor cleared his throat.  

“Something you’d like to share with the rest of the class?” The older man peered over the rim of his glasses at you and Roger, waiting for either of you to dare to make a move. The two of you went pale and shook your heads. “Didn’t think so.” As the professor moved on with roll, you pulled out your notebook and started doodling. Next to you, Roger bounced his leg.

The professor eventually finished going over the syllabus and instructed the class to get out their textbooks. “Um, Y/N?” Roger tapped on your shoulder and when you turned his blue eyes were looking up at you widely. “I haven’t gotten the book yet, think we could share?”

You smiled and scooted your chair a little closer to his, positioning the large biology textbook between you on the table. Your legs brushed against each other, and he winked as he leaned forward to scan the pages. Something was off. You watched Roger as he stared blankly at the page in front of him and you had the inkling that he wasn’t actually taking in any of the information.

Feeling your gaze on him, Roger squeezed his eyes shut before they fluttered open again, as if that would somehow suddenly restore his shitty vision to full-functionality. His eyesight had been steadily worsening over the past year despite his desperate pleas to whatever higher power he could think of. He hadn’t told Fred, Deacy, or Brian yet. Glasses weren’t exactly a part of the rock n’ roll image Queen was going for. Roger silently prayed that you would just let it go, but he knew you too well and the way you were looking at him indicated that you had figured it out. He sighed heavily as the professor dismissed the class, but you stayed glued to your seat, eyes still fixed on him. Roger waited for the room to clear out before finally turning to meet your stare. Your features softened as you took in the pained expression on his face.

“Rog,” you started, and he started to turn away but you reached out and took hold of his elbow, stopping him before he could escape. He spun to look at you, a look of distress hiding in his eyes. “Roger, are you okay?”

He squeezed his eyes shut as he let out a sigh. Regaining himself, he flashed you one of his dazzling, toothy smiles that you’d seen him use on countless groupies. “Course, Y/N. Why wouldn’t I be?”  

“Are you having trouble with your vision?”

His gaze shifted to the floor, head dropping in defeat. He nodded.

“Loads of people have to wear glasses, it’s not the end of the world.”

Roger’s head shot up. “It would be for me. Queen is just getting started, we haven’t even recorded an album yet. Record labels are looking for a certain image and glasses don’t really scream ‘I am a drummer in a rock n’ roll band.’”

It surprised you how seriously he took this. “Have you tried going to the optometrist? At the very least, you need to know if this is something that could get worse. I’ll even drive you, if you like.”  

His eyebrows shot up. “You would really do that for me?”

You nodded and he responded by wrapping you up into a bear hug. After releasing you, he said, “Thank you, Y/N. Uh, please don’t tell anyone else about this. I know it sounds silly, but I don’t want the guys making fun of me.” You nodded. “I guess I better take you home now, yeah?”

“That would be great, but I think I’d feel a little better if you let me drive.” You both laughed at that and he tossed you the keys as the two of you made your way out of the classroom and towards the parking lot.

-------

John was sitting in the windowsill of his bedroom, staring out the window and practicing on his bass as he waited for you to come home. His heart skipped a beat when Roger’s car finally pulled up to the curb, but then sank when he saw you get out of the driver’s side of the car. His brow furrowed in confusion. Roger never let anyone drive his car, that is unless… he was trying to impress a girl. John’s blood pressure increased as Roger climbed out of the passenger side and walked over to you, his arms pulling you into a tight hug before waving goodbye. John was furious. He had confided in Roger about his feelings for you a while back, how could he do something like this? 

He didn’t have long to dwell on the supposed betrayal as he heard your keys jangling in the front door lock. John picked up his bass and moved to the bed so it wouldn’t look like he’d been waiting for you.

When your keys finally clicked in the lock, you opened the door and shrugged your backpack off, leaving it on the floor as you searched for your roommate. Following the soft strums of his bass guitar, you found him perched upon his bed. He was certainly a sight for sore eyes.  

He pretended not to have heard you come in, only looking up from his guitar to acknowledge your presence when he felt you belly-flop onto the mattress.

You sat up to sit next to him, leaning your head against his shoulder as he continued to pick at the bass strings. Looking down at you, he knew he couldn’t stay mad, at least not at you. He set the guitar to the side and wrapped one of his arms around your shoulders before bending down to press a kiss to the top of your hair. Just friends, you had to remind yourself again. “Long first day?” he asked, and you nodded against his shoulder. “Me too.”

He sighed and rested his chin on top of your head. John wanted to ask you about Roger, but he couldn’t bring himself to ruin the moment. The two of you sat like that for a few more moments when you disentangled yourself from his embrace and stood in front of him. Locking your eyes with his hazel ones, you smiled. “Cheese toast?” Your question brought a smile to his face as he nodded, getting up to follow you into the kitchen.

Just as you’d finished the toast and were about to sit down next to John on the couch, the phone rang. You started to stand, but John beat you to the phone. “Hullo?”

John immediately recognized the voice on the other end as Roger’s. “Uh, hey Deacs, is uh Y/N there?”

John scowled. “Yes, why?”

“I need to talk to her about, uh, biology stuff. Yeah, biology stuff.”

You noticed the curious look on John’s face and called out to him. “Is everything alright, love?”

John resisted the urge to lie and say it was a telemarketer, instead opting to hold out the phone for you. “S’for you. It’s Roger.”

Strange, you thought. Why would Deacy be upset about Roger calling for me? But you didn’t have time to decipher his strange behavior at the moment and walked across the living room and into the kitchen to take the phone from him. John returned to the couch and pretended to be channel surfing while he attempted to listen in on your conversation.

You sidled up to the wall and pressed the plastic phone to your ear, finger twisting the chord. “Rog?”

“Y/N! Hey, so I was able to make an appointment for tomorrow afternoon around 4:30. You don’t have any classes then, do you? Shit I probably should have asked first.”

You laughed. “I get out of class at 3:30. Meet me in the library at 4?”

John went rigid on the couch. Based only on what he could hear from you, it sounded as if you and Roger were planning a date.

“Sounds good, Y/N. See you tomorrow, and thanks again.”

The line went dead and you replaced the phone on the hook. John frowned, but quickly settled on a channel to avoid suspicion as you made your way back over to the couch.

As you sat down, John attempted nonchalance, casually glancing at you as he said, “So, what did he want?”

Your cheeks flushed a light pink color as you scrambled to think of an excuse. “Oh, uh, he just had a couple of study questions. Y’know, for biology.”

One of John’s eyebrows shot up. “Studying already? Today was only the first day back.”

You gulped and stared at the television, desperate to avoid eye contact. All you could muster up was a quiet “yep.” He knew you better than anyone and could always tell when you were lying because you’d always grit your teeth, just like you were doing right now. He decided not to press the matter any further, just nodding slightly before settling deeper into the back of the couch.

Why didn’t you want him to know you were dating Roger? It doesn’t make any sense, he thought. You’d told him when some guy in one of your classes felt you up in the bathroom at the local pub. John’s jealousy had flared when you had, but he kept it to himself as usual (if only he’d known that the only reason you’d let Greg Leyland touch you because if you blurred your eyes he looked-vaguely-like John). What if you’d found out about his feelings for you? What if you weren’t telling him about Roger because you felt bad for him? John started to feel angry, he didn’t want to be pitied.  

Trying to move past the conversation, you picked up the remote that sat between you and John on the couch and turned the volume up on the TV. You set it back down on the other side of you and scooched closer to John, laying your head on his shoulder. He tensed up underneath you and you wished you could just tell him; you didn’t even understand why Roger was so worried. Freddie and Brian might make a few jokes at first, but they weren’t total arseholes. You hated lying to John. Even if he wasn’t your boyfriend, he was still your best friend.

John tried desperately to harden his resolve seeing your head on his shoulder made him melt all over again, however begrudgingly. Sighing, he wrapped his arm around you and let your head fall to rest on his chest. God, how you wished you had the courage to just reach up and pull his lips down to yours.

John longed to pull you tight against his chest and kiss you but restrained himself. Surely if you had reciprocated his feelings, you would have said so by now? In not saying anything, he thought, perhaps you were sending a silent message to let him down gently. The two of you just sat there both lost in thoughts of the other, unbeknownst to either party, silently watching the telly until you both fell asleep.

------

Fic Taglist: @supersugarytea

Permanent Taglist: @chocolatealmondmilkshake @disasterdeacy

[sugagimmesugar]

Only Fools Fall for You

After seeing the insane amounts of BTS imagines and fanfictions I have decided to join the fun!

This is the beginning of a story I am writing at the moment. Its readerXNamjoon. And its music centered. I have one song per chapter that is “featured” and I am currently working on the playlist that is mentioned in the story as well as a playlist to convey the general emotions/moods in the story.

For now I am posting the first 1.5k world of what I have written so far. Please tell me what you think!

Fluff! ; OffDuty!Namjoon; Student!Y/N ; set in sweden

———————————————————————————————————————

Finally he got a day off. He loved his life, his job, everything about being RM, but after months on tour, he really needed some time alone. All the members felt that way so they had parted ways right after breakfast. They had all tried to cook together, a rare treat of homeliness that as per usual ended up in chaos. The fact that they were cooking in someone else’s kitchen, since they were staying in an AirBnB, probably didn’t help either. Jin and Yoongi somehow managed to whip up something edible for all the guys, so they all left well-fed towards whatever they each had planned for their days.

Namjoon only wanted to discover yet another new town, so he spent the day wandering through the streets, occasionally popping into a shop for this and that.

This time, they had played a concert in Gothenburg, in Sweden, so the weather in Septembre was quite cold for his standards. Everybody in town was bundled up and covering their faces against the wind, so his features were easily hidden against the views of anyone who might recognize him.

After walking around town for a few hours, he decided to take a break at a record store that seemingly also had a little café and some seats where customers could listen to some of the albums for sale.

He found a table in a lonely corner and left his bag and jacket there “claiming” it for himself.

The shop was fairly empty, as to be expected on a monday in septembre. So he didn't worry about being recognized, and just went on to browse the endless shelves of records. With a low chuckle he discovered the “K-Pop” section. It was obvious that K-Pop had not quite reached this country yet, no matter how huge it already was in other parts of europe. The “section” only consisted of one shelf which was 90% BTS and then some BlackPink. He quickly moved on to the more general selection, getting stuck, as always, on Rap.

“Hej, behöver du nån hjälp?”, he hears a voice behind him.

“Huh, sorry?”, he turns around, slightly startled by the store’s clerk, a girl around his age.

“Oh, sorry! I just asked if you need some help? Are you looking for anything in specific?” She smiles broadly, and as his surprise ebbes off, he notices more about her, the vintage jeans and red converse she’s wearing. Suppressing a laugh, he notes the sweater she’s wearing, which sports a print saying “Seduce and Destroy”.

“Haha it’s fine, I am just looking around a bit. You guys have a huge selection here so I’m just taking my time. Thank you, though.”

“Ok sure, just holla if you need something.” A short pause …..”Oh, by the way, I moved your stuff behind the counter …. a group of teens came in and you can never be too careful. So, yea, don’t worry it’s not stolen, just protected.”, she smiles at him again, his breath catching in his throat.

“ Ah, I didn’t think of that, thank you!”, trying to think of things to say to keep her in a conversation, he blurts out: “What’s your favourite artist? I have been looking through the collection here but still ended up with my old faves, I think I need some new jams. Any recommendations?”

She laughs, and looking around the store she heads straight for the pop section.

“Okay, now don’t be judgemental but this dude right here, Troye Sivan, he is incredible. I saw you with Kanye and Eminem albums so I reckon Troye is a bit different from what you usually listen to, but i recommend him 100%!” She holds up an album “Blue Neighbourhood” and another one “Bloom”.

“I will check out whatever you recommend, you’re the pro!”

“I’ll set up a listening booth for you with his albums and bring you back your stuff.”, she grins triumphantly. “As I said before, just holla if you want or need anything else.”

A few minutes later he is set up in a booth, just as she said. To top it off, he got some coffee.

Coincidentally, from his booth, he can see her workplace, the bar that is half register half café bar, so he (not-so-sneakily) watches her as she works, interacting with customers and shooting him the occasional smile or even wink.

As the music stops he realizes he didn’t even notice any lyrics or melodies, too entranced by the cute barista/clerk. “Ah shit…” he mutters to himself, trying to figure out how to restart the album as she comes walking over.

“What did you think? His voice is pretty amazing, huh?”

“Unfortunately I was a bit distracted, I didnt manage to catch much of the music.”

“Oh sorry, that must be my fault, huh?” Another wink. It must be his lucky day.

“How ‘bout you join me at the bar. I can just show you some general recommendations and if you want you can show me some of your faves. Maybe something more interesting than Kanye and Eminem?”, she smiles at him again.

Is she flirting? No, it’s her job to be nice to customers, she is being cute for tips.

“Sure, show me all your favourites. I promise I will buy one album from your recommendations. I’ll finish my coffee and then I’ll join you.”, he smirks.

Whatever this is, a proper flirt or just a nice store clerk, he is having fun. And that’s what today is about. He already bought way too much stuff just by getting lost in all the different shops, he might as well spend his afternoon hanging out with a cute girl. Not RM, not the leader of BTS. Just some guy who likes music. Easy.

As he is sipping his coffee, he pulls out his phone to check what the others are up to.

Hobi: “Why the FUCK is it so cold here?”

Jin: “We are in Scandinavia, if u didnt notice. It’s cold here….”

Tae: “Stop being a pussy Hoseok” *image attached of the maknae line eating ice cream by the seashore*

Hobi: “….”

Namjoon can’t help but laugh, everything is as usual. Yoongi has sent him a rough mockup of a track for the next album and he plays it while checking the personal chats with the other members.

JK: “Hyung where r u”

JK: “We are somewhere at the seashore, Tae just kinda went off track somewhere….”

JK: “turns out we were just like 1 street away from a bus stop so, uh, no need to worry… we found our way to some ice cream”

JK: “since i can see youre not even reading these i guess youre having a good time. Cya”

He rolls his eyes, of course the youngest ones almost got lost in another foreign country. He quickly types an answer.

Looking up from his phone, he catches Her staring at him. She winks at him and pats the bar in front of her. He shoots her a quick smile back and gets back to checkin in on the guys.

Yoongi: “new track mayb w jin & hobi??? U decide”

Joon: “ sounds good, we can work on it together when we get back”

After checking that the members are having a good day, he quickly takes some selcas to post for ARMY later.

“Done sending selfies to your girlfriend?”, the girl smiles at him as he sets down his bag at the bar, taking a seat right in front of her.

“No girlfriend, just…. family. They always want to see that I am having fun no matter where I am.”

“How sweet! Well, if you promise that you don’t have a girlfriend or boyfriend I’ll introduce myself. I’m y/n. I am a student here but originally from y/h/c. Nice to meet you!”, her eyes sparkle as she smiles at him again, and he almost forgets to answer.

“I’m Namjoon, I’m visiting here from Korea for a few days.” He holds his hand out but exactly at that moment a customer comes to the register, so she turns away with an apologetic look.

She returns a few minutes later: “How ‘bout I put on my favourites on the store radio and you make me a little playlist of yours so I can check out what hot korean boys listen to. Show me some stuff I don’t know yet!” A small laugh and she bounces off again, fixing two coffees and soon he hears a synth riff playing on the speakers.

With a wide grin y/n comes twirling towards him, holding two iced coffees. Before he can think he is grinning at her and bouncing along to the music.

“This one’s on me, Namjoon. Don’t worry.”, she says as he holds out his card.

“I guess I am gonna have to buy you a drink later to make up for it.”, he laughs and takes the coffee.

Leaning on the bar, she watches him click away on his phone with a smile. His playlist slowly takes shape as he keeps stopping to properly listen to her music.

“Oh, wait! I just remembered, I actually know one korean artist, maybe you like his stuff. Let me just put it on for you.” A few seconds later he hears the notes he would recognize anywhere and almost bursts out laughing.

*we’re born in the moonlight… ain’t a fantasy*

[shidiand]

How do you imagine Tenco's Story ending in your head?

that is a GREAT but UNEXPECTED QUESTION freshlybaked "spider" bread and i'm really happy to have the opportunity to try and answer this ageless question that has burned within all of us in the tenco's story iv waiting room community since 2013. it is an incredible coincidence (or is it? 👀) that i was just talking to Risa about tenco's this (edit: yesterday) morning so i am extra double super in the mood to talk about Tenco's Story today. so excellent of a coincidence is this that i am tempted to refer you to them in case you wanted to hear their thoughts on the matter that would probably turn out super cool, but that is neither here nor there; let us talk Tenco's Story.

i of course must mention my unadvertised and modestly detailed commentary on tenco's i-iii at https://shidiand.tumblr.com/tencos, presenting slightly interesting facts in an unwieldy and difficult-to-use format, but as it dates back to june 2017, i want to take some time to understand my feelings about the series once more.

tenco's story is a series that has a lot of meaning to me.

i took on my current name of shidiand in november of 2013. i was still in 11th grade at the time, 4th year of high school, and a very socially isolated person. i should say i was introduced to touhou in 7th grade, 2010, so i was still working through a 3 years-strong phase of trying to simultaneously both find an outlet for and bottle up an endless wellspring of awkward weeaboo-gamer nerd energy at the time.

i had my first real foray onto the internet in 2010, tried out twitter, followed some RPers and other people who had Cool Touhou Usernames. didn't really go anywhere. i had maybe 50 followers, i dont really know the count but it was definitely a) double digits and b) pretty low. didn't know what to tweet about. didn't know how to hit it off with others. i think there was basically maybe only 3 other people i ever properly interacted with. oh shit i was playing league of legends at the time. oh my god. i really did play league of .. oh my god. let's move on.

aw shit im super digressing amn't i. well.

this is just how it goes when i write essays on tumblr.com.

i'm afraid you're just along for the ride at this point so please do your best to enjoy it.

i got kind of tired of twitter at the time because i didnt know what to do with it. didnt know how to interact with people and didnt find the people i was following interesting, so i ghosted on out of there by the end of 2012. didnt deactivate it until like 2015 but at that point that was just burning away my dark history. anyways. november 2013.

--im taking a lot of time here trawling through old files on my computer, my tumblr blog, notification emails still lying around in my gmail inbox from twitter, the dropbox i didn't actually use but it had several tenco's story pictures on it but i deleted them so this was useless, ... to trace the timeline of this story and im really seeing a lot of remnants of dark history here you know? did you know i wrote a letter to a girl i had a crush on valentine's day 2014, slipped it into her locker, and anxiously hung around nearby at lunchtime to see how she reacted at lunchtime? i certainly didn't, or at least i made darn ass sure to forget about this incredible virgin incident and not remember it, ever, until i came across the records of it that i thoughtfully preserved for the me of 5 years later today. ok well now i have to read the letter to see if it was as bad as it just sounded there brb

ok so the good news is that it was actually very focused on being positive and full of admiration for the cool things she did instead of being a confession letter so i am very glad i was able to be a respectful chad 5 years ago, but the bad news is that the jokes, the actual sentences i put together. oh my god. but i mean. well. at least i got the spirit. its certainly a step up from this other person in my grade, WEEABOO ANDREW, YOU MAY RECALL THIS STORY AND HIS NAME FROM PREVIOUS STORYTIMES, THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND who came to school on halloween once cosplaying kirito from sword art online and got very possessive about people asking if they could hold his black replica plastic sword, and probably worse, dropped a "will you be my girlfriend" letter into the locker of my homie and fellow trombonist samantha, who was a little bit nerdy, hung out with the anime-likers who were actually sociable and fun to be around so you can imagine why weeaboo andrew was into her, which had i) a direct quotation from SAO chapter 16.5 (origin of the famous "glopping noise" line), and ii) a condom. jesus christ. i dont want to talk about this any more. next topic.

i also put this drawing of iku nagae and her skarmory (actually an albinoss from 18 DRAGONS) on the other side of the letter because it was the coolest thing i could think of drawing at the time. and i completely agree with 2014 me because it IS super fucking cool. hell fuckin yeah

https://shidiand.tumblr.com/post/76301993387/iku-nagae-ft-that-thing-that-supposedly-is-a

alright that was a fun little trip down memory lane but lets get back on track. november 2013. i started anew as shidiand. still awkward, still learning how to express myself and looking for my place among others. i followed some touhou bloggers, hung around r/touhou a lot as well. in december i got my first tablet for christmas, a wacom bamboo splash. i still use this thing! the usb cable disconnects if you bump it so i have to find just the perfect position to sit in whenever i want to draw, but its served me well. anyways. i was just starting to play around with digital art but i remember, probably just before new years, for some reason i wanted to find out more about tenshi hinanawi (i don't remember why. tenshi wasn't even one of my favourite characters at the time) so i went googling and right there on zerochan i found this:

https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=23525572

this was during my dark souls phase so i just went BANANAS at the sight of this. this was literally the coolest image i had ever seen in my internet life. That image alone made me want to draw in hopes that I could make something as cool as that someday.

it wasn't immediately after but i soon discovered tenco's story, and it was love. kannnu was my very first artistic inspiration, and for a long time, my only one. i absolutely idolized them at the time. since then, ive found other artists to look up to, in a more healthy manner, but to this day i still look up to kannnu, still admire their work a lot.

i played around with drawing, followed the lives of people on tumblr, started reading touhou fanfiction, made a new twitter. i met a lot of new people along the way. some people i havent stuck with, some i cut ties with, and some people i still keep in contact with today. over those long 5 years of being shidiand, i found a name (i used to use shidian and then shid, but someone called me shidi once and i realized that was a lot better), how to reach out to others, how to express myself, places that i could feel included in. this is why i owe a blood debt to evelyn, who permitted me to kneel at her throne and was like "yea ok you can join my discord server u seem cool". evelyn, if you were confused by me ominously mentioning this blood debt/blood oath in a tumblr reply 1-2 years ago, this is the context. those 5 years were like a coming of age of sorts, that i never had when i was in high school.

and my love for tenco's story, that inspired me to draw that day, has been with me since almost the very beginning of my time as shidiand. from the beginning, i have always encouraged people to READ TENCO'S STORY, like the kin of those who cry PLAY MELTY or WATCH SYMPHOGEAR. i think my very first sidebar description was something akin to a prayer, written in very choral language, hoping for the day tenco's story iv was completed, ..., "meanwhile, furious shitposting". kannnu's work, finding delight in whatever they chose to draw, has been at my side, all along. my true mentor, my guiding moonlight...

so that's why i still to this day love tenco's story so much.

let's talk about tenco's story.

tenco's story is a story told through single pictures. the plot is vague, and details are sparse. dialogue is rare. we only know what has happened; we seldom know why. furthermore, there are many gaps between scenes that the reader is left to fill in for themselves; we see only snapshots that form an hazy outline of the events that occurred, and must imagine the rest. motivations and explanations fail me. but even with a barebones plot, tenco's story has themes, and if nothing else, those have to be carried through.

the main theme, of course, is journey and travel, but there are also other ideas, too. i actually think they start to change as the series goes on:

book i, where tenshi runs away from home, is about striking out on your own. it's a very fun and unpredictable journey, together with a friend.

book ii, where tenshi and iku are separated, forces tenshi to find and rely on companions of her own even more. but they do so, and they are able overcome hardships, and there is food and festival.

book iii marks a climax, reasserting tenshi's goal of finding the sword of hisou. i feel like the journey shifts from a travel (visiting) to a path forwards (making your way through). perhaps this is just something i get from knowing the locations from dark souls (Anor Londo, New Londo Ruins, the Great Hollow), but the locations start to give more of a sense of verticality, like they're emphasizing tenshi's climb to the summit. the hardships and enemies are the greatest they've been yet, and right when they near the top, tenshi and iku start to bleed. the book ends on an uncertain note.

if i had to describe the type of journey and travel that tenshi and iku undertake, there's this sense of wonder at discovering new places, wandering from vista to vista in delight, but also a sense of conquering, making it through a difficult patch. the sequence from pages 2-44 to 2-51, taken together, convey this sense of overcoming the best. it's one of my favourite parts. again, although the tone definitely starts to lean towards struggle in book iii, i think tenco's sense of wonder really is the heart of the series. there's no map of the world, no predicting where tenshi and iku will end up next. and through their travels, though they come across many enemies, they also find friends -- places of refuge, places full of life, people who will look after them for a few days, companions who will stay with them for the rest of the journey. at the end of book iii, we see a long haired tenshi with purple hair being impaled by the sword of hisou (3-33, see also this extra illustration that risa pointed out to me http://sinnnkai.blog.fc2.com/blog-entry-195.html), and regular short haired tenshi continuing on her journey (3-42). if we ignore the out-of-story images where tenshi has the sword of hisou, tenshi has actually only ever used her sunlight blade (2-24, 3-26, etc), so i think that the long haired tenshi on 3-33 is a different person altogether. (if i had to guess, she might be the purple haired woman in the top left of https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=35443328 as we have never seen that woman appear anywhere.) she probably has something to do with the flashbacks at the end of book ii and she might somehow be short-haired tenshi at the same time, but this is just speculation.

however, in 3-43, tenshi's hair is rather blue, so i don't know if this is the purple haired woman or not. if it is, tenshi is probably still fine and closing in on the summit, but if it isn't, then it's very worrying to see a picture of tenshi without any of her companions. it's very ominous.

meanwhile, iku, while climbing the red carpeted corridor, is stabbed, and disappears for a few pages. there's a black page, a shot of a shrine that strongly resembles the hakurei shrine, and a picture of iku standing behind someone in a tux, with the line "In the past, I was saved by the lady I was serving, you see?". and then iku wakes up in a field of flowers.

i think what this scene makes clear is a theme that has continued to appear and reappear throughout every book of "being saved, being aided by someone's kindness".

i think another theme that is implied and has to be addressed by this story of running away from home is "return". something im imagining is that the reason tenshi makes finding the sword of hisou her goal is because she wants to have something to prove herself with, to vindicate her when she comes home. but i don't think she needs to prove anything, and i ultimately think that she would be happier spending the rest of her life exploring.

so i think this should be what happens in the ending.

open on iku's journey, and give her a long sequence of travel without seeing tenshi. underline her newfound resolve. she climbs to the summit with albinoss, and finds the rest of tenshi's companions fallen. and in the last room is sword of hisou tenshi, who has lost herself, and it comes down to iku to bring her back. after a difficult battle, when both of them are on their last legs, iku is unable to stand any longer. but at this moment tenshi sees her companions struggling to get back up and reach her, and that's what brings her to her senses. and iku gets to see how many friends tenshi's been able to make on her own, and they finally and properly reunite. together, tenshi and iku carry each other out of the last room.

i don't think it's necessary to return to heaven. as a conclusion, dedicate some time to tenshi and iku travelling together. they're on their way back, revisiting old friends who helped them along the way, enjoying the journey. their last stop is the house of the elderly nawis (1-42). tenshi shows off the sword of hisou; she decided to keep it not as a trophy to show her family but as proof of the bonds of her companions. surrounded by friends, tenshi and iku decide to part ways with each other, knowing that the other will be alright. iku drifts among the clouds once more, and tenshi sets off for the horizon.

that's the plot that i'd write/just wrote. i don't really expect tenco's story iv to ever come out, though. i mentioned my first sidebar description earlier in this essay, but of course, you can see that it's been changed. 2 years ago, i read my hopeful prayer once more and was struck with a terrible melancholy, so now it reads this: "having come to terms with the fact that tenco's story iv will never be released, i can still live, knowing that the spirit of the journey will live on through kannnu's original works [...] meanwhile, furious shitposting".

on one level, tenco's story is a story, but in the process of following it, i came to think of the work itself as a journey too. you can constantly see kannnu's improvement between and even within each book. they have always drawn whatever they liked; what plot matters in the face of "I wanted to draw a beautiful sky." "I wanted to draw a fantastic battle." "I wanted to draw Dark Souls and Monster Hunter and Pokemon and Brave Fencer Musashi and Bokura no Taiyou and Touhou."

its not really kannnu's style to go back and tie up old ends. they just draw whatever makes them happy. so as i watch them continue to draw beautiful places and fantastic creatures, new characters heading out on journeys of their own or just enjoying their everyday lives, it's as if tenco's story never ended. the limits and consistency of that world ignored, and a new one springs up; in a way, the world of tenco's, which had such thin boundaries, just gets bigger.

but even so, having said all that, i still see them draw that short-haired tenshi from time to time. it makes me happy to see them remember tenco's story with such fondness. often crossing over with orion or roar or elweiss, you can see tenshi on another journey.

[frenchibi]

for the fic questions: 22, 33, 47 and the title u get is "the trouble with cherries" (thank u predictive text at least it was intelligible)

From the Fic Writer Asks!! Thank u buddy :DD

22) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?

 Not…really? I see a lot of my old writing (on ff.net under a different account, and original stuff too) as… pretty low-level, but nothing that didn’t help me get to where I am now, you know? It’s always a work in progress :D

33) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?

People have told me that my work is better than some books they have read, and that I could get published if I tried. People have told me they binge-read my entire fanfiction library. People have joined the fandom after reading my fics because they convinced them to ship a particular pairing.

Most importantly: I have written a lot about depression, and I have gotten several comments and messages from people saying they related to my words, or that reading my words helped them.

So… basically, I have been told that my work has impacted people’s lives, and I think that’s absolutely incredible.

47) Here’s a fic title. What would this story be about?

I’m taking the liberty to just run with this, yeah? :D

The Trouble With Cherries

The trouble with cherries is that they’re too small for the amount of seed that they carry. Why would something so delicious limit itself to such an inconvenient form? It’s almost like they don’t want to be eaten.

…well, maybe that’s the point.

To be honest, Tooru has been wondering this about Hajime as well.

He flicks a seed into his napkin and bites his lip.

Not about Hajime wanting to be eaten, per se (though maybe he has thought about that, in a figurative sense. Once. Okay, maybe more than once. Not the point), but about him connecting with people.

It’s not that he can’t make friends. He does. But it’s like he puts up a barrier that doesn’t let anyone get too close.

Or, well, what does Tooru even know. Maybe he does let people close now. New people. People Tooru only knows because Hajime casually mentions their names over takeout dinner, or when he’s telling Tooru where he’s going. Like Tooru’s supposed to know who they all are.

Well, he used to. Back when they shared a back yard, a classroom, a volleyball team. A group of friends.

Of course things were going to change eventually. Tooru knows this. But that doesn’t change that he’s bitter about it.

He plucks another cherry from the bowl that Hajime’s placed on the coffee table and proceeds to pry it apart with his fingernails. It comes open pretty easily, revealing red flesh and another oversized pit. Rude, really, that something so wasteful is so expensive.

He’ll have to thank Hajime for buying them, though. He knows Tooru’s always loved them.

And that’s it, isn’t it? Hajime always knows. He listens, he’s attentive, he remembers.

But about himself, he’s strangely closed off.

Sometimes Tooru wishes he could read his mind - but then he’s always somewhat glad that he can’t. Because really, he’s terrified of what he’d see.

What if Hajime isn’t putting on a show of disdain around Tooru when his antics get out of control - what if that’s really how he feels?

What if it’s not that deep, what if Hajime just really isn’t into making deeper connections? Or maybe he just hasn’t found the right person to do it with?

That thought makes Tooru want to smash something, honestly, because anyone with eyes could see that he and Hajime are a perfect match. If Hajime can’t talk to him, who else even is there?

…the answer to that question comes kind of unbidden and way too suddenly.

Of course there’s a girl out there that can crack open Hajime’s metaphorical shell.

Maybe he’s not a cherry, maybe he’s a coconut.

Maybe Tooru doesn’t know where he’s going with this analogy.

In any case, he doesn’t want to think about Hajime opening up to someone else. Obviously he has other friends - he’s always had other friends, and it’s never been a problem, because…

Well, because Tooru has always had a special position among those friends.

For a long time, being able to call Hajime his Best Friend had been enough.

Nowadays though?

Tooru picks up another cherry, this time popping it into his mouth immediately and pulling it apart with his tongue.

Not so much.

He’s come to realize that he’s not as nice a person as he wants to be.

Okay, that’s a lie. Tooru has never been a particularly nice person. But he considered himself a decent friend, and not exactly a bad person. Vindictive, yeah. Possessive, sure. But he’s also always just wanted Hajime to smile.

So, if someone did come along to whisk Hajime off into a world of sunshine and rainbows, and if that someone couldn’t be Tooru…

He wants to say that he’d smile and let it go.

But honestly, he’s not so sure.

The thought alone leaves him restless and unsettled, so much so that he gets up from where he’s been lounging on the couch.

He sighs, chewing around on the pit. A reckless part of his brain urges him to swallow it, but he ignores the thought and spits it out.

Because… that’s life, isn’t it? Ignoring the random, reckless ideas taking root in your brain and just trying to keep living.

It’d be crazy, if he just got up, walked over to Hajime’s room and told him that hey, I’ve been in love with you since middle school.

He could do it. He could do it right now. What a fucking stupid idea.

Or…

Or maybe it isn’t so stupid.

What’s the worst that could happen?

Hajime could be disgusted.

…but he wouldn’t. They’ve been friends for their entire lives. Something like this wouldn’t ruin it, right? Right?

Bullshit. Hajime will laugh at him, or leave, or take it as a joke - and Tooru is sure he can’t take that.

…on the other hand… at this rate, Hajime might just leave anyway. With whatever girl (or guy?) he’s seeing that Tooru doesn’t know about.

No, wait. He would have said something if he was dating someone. Surely.

Somehow, that question requires an immediate answer, and Tooru is already walking. Well, shit.

Before he can stop himself, he’s knocked on Hajime’s door.

“Yeah?”

Oh, shit.

He pushes the door open a crack, to find Hajime sitting at his desk, spun around in his chair to look over at him.

“What’s up?” he asks, eyebrows slightly raised. “Have you thought about what to have for dinner, or…?”

“Uhm.”

The question throws him a little, and Hajime frowns.

“What’s wrong?”

How does he immediately get that? Is Tooru really that easy to read…?

“Say, Iwa-chan… if you had a girlfriend, you’d tell me, right?”

Hajime blinks - and then he barks out a laugh.

“What on earth makes you ask that?”

Immediately, Tooru’s on the defensive.

“Nothing! Just- you don’t talk about yourself much. But… we’re best friends, right? You’d tell me?”

Hajime gets up out of his chair and walks over to him, his expression torn between bemused and concerned.

“…what’s going on, Oikawa?”

“Just answer the question!”

Hajime shakes his head. “I don’t have a girlfriend. Of course I’d tell you if I did. Why are you so stressed out all of a sudden?”

Tooru finds himself already backing out of the room again, mentally slapping himself for even opening the door in this stupid state of mind.

“Okay,” he says, like that’s all he wanted - but Hajime grabs him by the arm to stop him from walking away.

“Hey. You’re acting weird. Talk to me.”

“The cherries,” Tooru says. “Thanks for, uhm. For buying them.”

Hajime tilts his head slightly. “What? Oh, yeah. Sure.” He lets go of Tooru’s arm, but he still looks concerned. “Are you sure everything’s okay?”

In retrospect, he doesn’t know what makes him do it.

Maybe it’s the loss of warmth when Hajime unclasps his hand, or the look of confusion and honest concern in his eyes, or the fact that from here Tooru can smell the deodorant Hajime always uses and it’s kind of fucking with his brain-

In any case, before he quite knows why, he finds himself saying: “What if you had a boyfriend?”

Hajime stares.

“What?”

Tooru clears his throat. “Uhm. If- if you had a boyfriend, would you tell me, too?”

Hajime exhales, and Tooru can’t place the expression on his face.

“…why wouldn’t I? It’s like you said. You’re my best friend.”

When Tooru doesn’t reply, he pushes the door open further and crosses his arms in front of his chest.

“…are you gonna tell me what this is really about?”

Something about that question really hits home.

Are you going to tell me what this is really about?

Are you ever going to tell me the truth?

It’s kind of like an earth-shattering realization, that that’s even a question that Hajime could ask-

But he could. And Tooru’s honest answer would have to be…

No.

No, because I haven’t told you the truth since grade 5.

I haven’t lied to you, I couldn’t - but I’ve done something just as bad.

I’m keeping a secret.

I can’t tell you, but-

Maybe I’ll need you to know.

In that moment, with that thought, suddenly his mind is clearer than it’s been in a long time.

He needs Hajime to know.

He wants him to know.

He’s terrified to tell him, but-

He’s only been thinking of the worst case - and that’s not the right way to go about it at all.

When they’re playing volleyball, he focuses on what’s needed to be done to win - not on what might make them lose.

If he obsessed about what might happen if they failed, they would never have gotten as far as they did.

No - when Tooru stepped onto the field, he didn’t think about losing. He thought about what winning would feel like - and then he lead his team to conquer.

Maybe the right question isn’t what if he’s disgusted.

Maybe it’s but what if he’s not?

Instantly, an image flashes up in Tooru’s mind - and another, and another, and another - pouring in like he’s opened some kind of mental flood gate.

Hajime, reaching over for a high five, to clap him on the back, to put his arm around Tooru’s shoulders.

Hajime, letting Tooru drape his legs over his lap when they’re sitting together, watching some stupid soap opera and making fun of the characters.

Hajime, lifting him out of his chair and chucking him down onto his bed with seemingly no effort at all, scolding him for staying up too late.

Hajime, in the door, holding up a bag of cherries with a grin on his face.

That smile he gets when he thinks Tooru’s not watching, the one that’s exasperated but fond and makes Tooru’s insides fucking melt.

“Oikawa. Hey.”

Hajime is waving his hand in front of Tooru’s face, eyebrows raised incredulously.

“You’re spacing out. Seriously, what’s going on? You’re kind of freaking me out here.”

Well.

This is happening.

“…I need to talk to you,” Tooru manages, taking a step back. Somehow he can’t handle Hajime’s intensity, and the concern in his gaze.

Christ, he needs to regroup or something.

“…okay?”

“Iwa- just give me a second,” he says, distracted as he tries to find the right way to go about confessing his love to his goddamn best friend. “You’re- you’re freaking out and that’s not helping.”

“You’re worrying me,” Hajime says, but he’s keeping his distance now.

Tooru covers his face with his hands, trying to just breathe before he accidentally starts screaming.

“Okay. Okay, listen. This- this is kind of a big deal, but- but it also doesn’t have to be, if you don’t want it to. God, did that even make sense? I’m- I don’t know how to do this.”

Hajime reaches out to him, but stops himself before he moves in too close and freaks Tooru out even more.

“Hey, hey. Breathe.”

Tooru drops his hands, forcing out a breath. Hajime is still looking at him with all this concern and fuck, Tooru wants to kiss him all over his dumb face.

“…whatever this is about,” Hajime says, and Tooru looks up at him, because how can he help it, “you need to calm down. I promise I won’t freak out, okay? You’re clearly stressed about something. Just tell me. I’ve known you since you were in diapers, I promise you can trust me.”

Tooru bites his lip because Hajime is literally perfect. What the fuck.

If anything, he deserves to know.

“…okay. So- I’ve had a crush on this guy. For like… literal years, okay?”

If Hajime is surprised that Tooru is gay, he doesn’t show it. Then again, he might have suspected. Maybe.

“…okay,” is all that he says, nodding.

“And I thought maybe I’d get over it, right? Because I don’t know if he would, or could like me back. And- and I couldn’t tell him because… because I didn’t want to change how he saw me.”

“…you’re friends with him, then?”

Tooru nods. “Y-yeah. And he's… he’s kind of really important to me.”

Hajime is crossing his arms again. “Okay. So… what do you want to do about it?”

God, he’s asking if Tooru wants his help.

Oh, god.

“I’m- I’m trying to tell him,” Tooru manages, and Hajime frowns.

“So what’s the problem?”

Tooru might laugh, or cry.

“He’s- god, he’s so- you’re so fucking dense Iwa-chan I swear to god- what I’m saying is- I’m trying to tell you-”

He’s pretty sure he’s blushing as red as those goddamn cherries, but it’s too late to go back.

“I fucking like you, Iwa-chan!”

And he has to get out of there, now.

Without thinking twice, he spins around and slams the door in Hajime’s startled face, darting across the hall into his own room.

This was a really, really, really stupid idea. How did he think he could stand in front of Hajime, and say all of that to his face? What on earth possessed him to do that? To upset the careful balance they’d been living?

The entirety of his inner monologue is holyshitholyshitholyshit - and then he hears Hajime laughing.

For a second, he’s too startled to move. He’s got his back against his own door, ready to hold it closed by force if Hajime tries to come inside and clarify - he’s said too much already. But laughter? Not what he was expecting.

His mind races - why the fuck is he laughing? What’s so fucking funny about the most embarrassing moment of Tooru’s entire fucking life? Why the fuck can’t he stop fucking swearing?

“Ohmygod, Oikawa-”

“SHUT UP,” Tooru yells, before he can stop himself, because really, he’s got to say something in his own defense, and Hajime is being so mean by laughing-

“Oikawa, open the door-”

“Stop LAUGHING!”

“I’m- ha- holy shit- Oikawa, please-”

He’s wheezing, choking, and Tooru wants the ground to open up and swallow him whole.

Hajime is knocking on his door, barely containing his laughter.

“Go away!”

Finally, he seems to catch his breath enough to speak.

“Come on- you can’t just say all that and then run away!”

“Forget it!”

He raps the door again.

“No way! Shit, Oikawa- is this the first time you’ve ever confessed to someone? ‘Cause you know, usually you wait for an answer…!”

“Stop fucking LAUGHING!”

“I’m sorry- I’m sorry, but this is ridiculous-”

Suddenly, Tooru is angry.

“Oh yeah? So my feelings are ridiculous to you?”

“What? No! Oikawa, listen to me-”

“Why? So you can make fun of me?”

Hajime slams his fist into Tooru’s door - definitely not a knock.

“No! You fucking moron, so I can answer you! You just told me you liked me, for crying out loud! Don’t you wanna know my response?”

Tooru considers this for a second.

“…I think I’d rather die in here, right now.”

Hajime sighs. “That’d be a shame though. I would’ve liked to see your face when I told you I feel the same.”

Tooru is on his feet and yanking the door open so fast he almost falls back over.

“You what?!”

Hajime stares at him, taken aback and slightly breathless.

Admittedly, it’s a good look on him.

He clears his throat, and he’s already reaching up to rub the back of his neck in that adorable, bashful way of his.

“Well… yeah.”

“…seriously?!”

Hajime licks his lips. “…yeah.”

Tooru takes a breath.

“Why didn’t you ever say anything, then?”

Hajime raises his eyebrows. “Why didn’t you?”

“…point taken.”

They stand there for a moment, neither of them sure what to say.

“…so.”

“So.”

“You- you like me.”

“And you like me.”

“Like… like-like. Right?”

Hajime rolls his eyes.

“…yeah.”

“…oh.”

“Oh?”

“…well, what do you want me to say?!”

Tooru realizes he’s being aggressive - defensive. Again.

“I mean- sorry. This is all a bit… confusing.”

Hajime manages a small smile. “…yeah, I get that.”

There’s another terrible, awkward silence.

“So-”

“…maybe we should… sit down? Talk about this?”

Of course. That’s a good idea. Of course Hajime would have a good idea.

“Uhm. Yeah. That sounds good.”

Neither of them move.

Hajime lets out a small laugh, breaking the tension.

“Hey. I’m still me. This doesn’t have to be so… uptight. We’re still us, right?”

Tooru clenches and unclenches his fists. “…yeah. Yeah, you’re right.”

“Okay. C'mon - you didn’t eat all the cherries, did you?”

He shakes his head, but doesn’t follow when Hajime starts making his way to their living room.

“…Oikawa?”

Tooru looks at the floor.

“…did you- did you really mean it?”

He doesn’t look up, but he sees Hajime step close to him, his socks near-silent on the wooden floor.

“Hey. Listen to me. Until you knocked on my door today, I thought I was gonna take this to the grave. You- you’re always out and about and you only notice half of the people who are, like, enchanted by you on a daily basis. I don’t think you realize how incredible you are - and I was sure it was only a matter of time before some girl snatched you up. I mean… not any girl, obviously, because you’re picky and difficult and honestly a huge pain in the ass-”

Tooru huffs, fighting back tears, and Hajime smiles. “…but I was sure that I’d have to give you up one day. I didn’t think about it too much, but… I was definitely afraid of it. But then… you said all that just now and… well. If you’re giving me a shot at this, I’m taking it.”

“…a shot at this?”

“…being with you. I mean, really being with you. Not just… this living-together thing.”

Tooru considers this for a moment, and realizes his efforts to not cry were absolutely futile.

“You were never gonna tell me?”

“…I was sure you’d find someone who matched you, and you’d be happy. I… didn’t see a reason to break that.”

Tooru lets out a wet-sounding laugh. “Not even for you to be happy?”

Hajime is still smiling that sad little half-smile, like he does when he’s saying something uncomfortable but true.

“I would have been. If you were.”

Tooru wipes at his cheeks with his sleeve, knowing full well that he’s still crying and it’s really no use.

“…you must love me a lot more than I love you, Iwa-chan,” he whispers. “I could never be that selfless. I… I was always afraid you’d leave me.”

Hajime raises his eyebrows. “Leave you? I don’t even know who I am without you, dumbass. You made sure of that.”

“Iwa-chan.”

“Yeah?”

“…Iwa-chan.”

Hajime smiles, and Tooru wants to fucking die.

“What?”

“I love you.”

A laugh, small and genuine.

“I love you, too.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

He’ll probably never stop crying, because this can’t be real.

“I love you,” he says again. “I love you.” Like a fucking broken record, because it’s the only thing in his mind that makes sense.

“I love you, too.”

“Promise?”

Yeah, he’s fucking done for.

“Promise.”

Wow this got fucking long I’m sorry lmfao I guess I might put this on ao3 as well xDD Anyway thank you for asking!!!

[gojaimas]

Chapter 35 Comment Replies

csgt: “Oh, I forgot to mention it in the past chapter, but I definitely got the feeling that Ben having a new normal watch and Gwen replacing the charm with a normal locket means the definitive end of the ‘hero’ part of their story”

Yeah, pretty much. They’re moving on to new stages in their lives as they grow up.

csgt: “So Lucy is now developing real feelings for both Ben and Gwen? Ohhh, that complicates things… Maybe she will find someone else and get over them? Even though now I’m seeing the chances of ‘Bwenucy’ happening raise a little (maybe 5 percent now instead of 1 percent?)”

Things are a little more complicated now. People have been noticing for a while that there is a chance of the story going in the Bwency direction, so this probably made it seem more likely to everyone. You’ll just have to see how it plays out over the rest of the year.

Davidscrazy234: “If this was made into a live action show, like Arrow and The Flash which cast person would u choose for Ben, Gwen, and Lucy?”

Ooh, there’s a fun question! Let’s see…

For Ben, I’d go with David Mazouz, AKA young Bruce Wayne in Gotham. The scenes where he’s partying and pretending to be a spoiled rich kid makes me think he could totally pull off Ben, plus beating the crap out of bad guys is right up his alley.

For Gwen, I’d say Sadie Sink, AKA Max from the second season of Stranger Things. I’ll admit it’s mostly because she’s a fierce redhead, but she seems talented enough to pull off a character who’s pretty much the exact opposite of Max as well.

And then for Lucy, I’d pick Elsie Fisher, AKA the voice of Agnes in the Despicable Me movies. She did a live action film with Bo Burnham recently too. She’s such a sweet girl and just seems like a constant ray of sunshine, I think she’d be perfect for Lucy.

These actors are 15-17 years old now, so I guess it could only work as a sequel to my story at this point, but they would’ve been perfect for it if the series had started like 4 or 5 years ago.

Guest: “I have a question- is Gwen shorter than Ben in this story? Otherwise she wouldn’t have been able to lean into his chest without having her butt stick out awkwardly.”

Haha, yes, Ben is the taller one now. Gwen used to be taller than him, but he hit his growth spurt and surpassed her, which I sort of eluded to a couple times in Year 3. I remember Ben Ten Thousand being really tall, so I figured this was how they would turn out. The drawing I did of them for the story image is a little closer to what I imagine their current relative heights are now.

Guest: “I’m like the track you’re heading with. Lucy was only featured in one episode in the original and she had so much potential, I always kept an eye out for her. Her characteristics stood out. The wedding when Ben danced with Gwen and then Lucy were really sweet moments. Came for a Bwen fanfic but I’m also in love with Lucy.”

You and me both, my friend. Lucy wasn’t even in the character list for Ben 10 fanfictions until I started this story. If nothing else comes from it, I hope people start to like her a bit more.

Jagcity: “Just a little side inquiry, it seems that Frank loves his daughter (or at least checks up on her) more than Natalie does; I guess Gwen’s mom is simply the stern and frowny type.”

Gwen’s dad is a softie, sort of a typical doting father. Her mom is much more strict, but she’s definitely the one who pushes her to succeed more, which Gwen is mature enough to be thankful for. Ben still finds Natalie mean and scary, and it confuses him that Gwen doesn’t seem to see her that way at all.

Guest: “that bathroom scene was the first time we’ve seen Lucy expressing her true intentions and emotions behind her cherrful happy go lucky mask and she seems to be conflicted… she cares for others which is why she wants Ben and Gwen to be there for each other but at the same, even though I can’t say she’s human, she’s got emotions. She’s just better at hiding it like Ben.”

We have seen her “mask” slip before, which I think is a good way to put it. Back in the summer of Year 2, she broke down because Joel and Camille were missing. That was an unrelated matter, but I hope it effectively foreshadowed how Lucy might not always be the cheerful, happy go lucky girl she appears to be.

Guest: “This was a really effective chapter and it only was that way because of the events and progression leading up to it.”

THANK YOU! Yes! Now you all know why I had to write a story the length of a Harry Potter book before reaching this point. I hope the payoff was worth the wait.

Guest: “I don’t know how to root for right now, it’s like Toradora all over again.”

I’m really glad you brought up Toradora, which is hands down one of the best romance anime out there. It wasn’t one of the biggest inspirations for my story (which would probably be Oreimo in addition to Little Moments), but I can definitely see the similarities.

Guest: “Since you mentioned you’re in college, what’re your aspirations and plans for the future? You’d do great as a author, writer for animes, characters and novels judging by what I’ve seen from you. You seem to have an interest in gaming so you could have a certain paths on that or just take it as a way to kill time. Whatever you’re gonna be in the future you sure as hell are gonna be successful”

Thank you for saying so! I actually graduated about a year ago, but I started writing this story while I was still in college. I’m currently working as an engineer at a medical device company. I have no real training or experience as an author, so I’ll probably just stick with fanfiction as a hobby for now. I’m also learning to draw in the anime art style, so maybe I’ll try making a fan manga at some point as well. In the past, I’ve competed in really low level Super Smash Bros and Magic the Gathering tournaments, but I couldn’t see myself making a career out of it. In about a year or two, I plan to decide if I wanna stick with what I’m doing or go back to school for a bit to transition into something else. I have a friend who got into the game design industry after he graduated, which is something I would love to do as well. Becoming a teacher is another option since I like working with kids and I used to tutor other students in math, science, and programming, plus my aunt is a middle school math teacher. I also have a friend who got into writing for television after he graduated. I was mostly joking, but I already made him promise that if he ever somehow makes it big and gets his own cartoon, he’ll let me voice the villain since I’m “basically already the villain in his life.” I know a lot of my readers are in college, so I just wanna say to all of you that life can be pretty cool after you graduate, and I hope you all do as well as my friends and I have.

Guest: “Do you think Joel is dead in the Last of Us Part 2”

I don’t think so. Wasn’t he in the trailer? Either way, I know I’m gonna play the shit out of that game the second it comes out.

Guest: “God. Been reading from December and this story’s at the TOP of the Ben 10 fanfic section, well deserved. Gosh bless”

Is it really? Awesome! Also, I thought it was funny how you start the comment with “God” and then switch to “Gosh bless” at the end. Lucy prefers “Glob” because she’s a fan of Adventure Time.

Guest: “‘Shut up and put your hands around me’ Gwen is such a tsundere lmao”

Haha, absolutely! I love tsunderes. Totally my type.

Guest: “Since you haven’t seen Alien Force... did you by any chance check out Omniverse since some flashbacks involve the friendship Gwen, Lucy and Ben.”

I only watched a few episodes of Omniverse. I even specifically sought out the episodes that had Lucy in them because I wanted more of her. The show didn’t really appeal to me, but I enjoyed the episodes I saw and the Lucy ones were helpful for crafting her character in my story.

Guest: “We all know Ben and Gwen are gonna end up together and you also mentioned you might write epilogue one shots would it be possible to also write a optionn B) alternative ending where Ben and Lucy got together or would that not fit with the course of the story you’re taking in? Just like how they did Amigami SS, in each 5 episodes, they pair the MC with a girl in alternative ways and timelines of course to see how it would’ve played out. I feel bad for Lucy to be left out and as much as I love Bwen as she does, wish she had her chance too.”

The Bwen ending and the Bwency ending are the only ones that are really on the table right now. I will say that the ending is one of those two options, but I am willing to write an alternate ending for the other one. It’s hard to imagine a Ben/Lucy ending that wouldn’t be completely soul-crushing for Gwen, but I might consider giving it a shot.

Guest: “‘Beeeeeeeen! You...you...You're doing it wrong!’ ‘Give it a rest Dweeb, I'm doing the best I can.’ ‘Ahhhhhhh...Ouch! Wrong hole, Doofus! Do you even know what you're doing down there!?’ ‘Maybe I should've just asked Lucy for help...’”

Hey! How did you get my manuscript for Year 5?? I mean, uh...get this filth out of my Christian Minecraft server.

Guest: “Just wondering, but is this a purely Bwen fic? It seems kinda sad that I read 200K words thinking that Lucy doesn't really stand a chance. I was wondering how much of a jump it would take for all three of them to get together but it doesn't really matter anyways since you already finished writing this work. I just found this piece about 3 days ago and I gotta say I'm enjoying it quite a bit. I look forward to reading what kind of ending you have in store for these characters.”

It’s not purely a Bwen fic. It was my intention for everyone to know Ben and Gwen were going to end up together from the start, but for it to be unclear at this point if Lucy will be involved with them as well. Some of my readers are more convinced it will happen than others, but like I said earlier, I am willing to write both endings. Only one of them is written right now though.

[darnloveablecharacters]

Far From Home, Part Eight: I Had No Choice

Series Summary: Reader is torn from her reality and dumped into the middle of a war. Will she make it home? Or will she find where she belongs? A Rogue One Reader Insert Fanfiction. Gifs and recognizable characters are not mine, but the story and all of the mistakes are!

Far From Home - Masterlist

Chapter Notes: I suppose I should mention that by “editing”, I mean “second guess every word and re-write the whole chapter because the first draft was terrible... here’s part 8! ;-)

Warnings for this chapter: suicide (mentioned kinda?)

On the day of my first mission, I woke up at three in the morning. I hadn’t slept well with the excitement of what would be in store for me.

Is that really what you’re excited about?

”Quiet brain, I haven’t even spoke to him since he kidnapped me.”

Are you still on about that? Like you would change anything that has happened at this point.

“Fine, but I’m still excited about this mission.”

I laid in bed, thinking about the small celebration I had shared with Rhayna and Boe Boe. We had all been assigned off planet. Boe Boe will be escorting a small supply ship to the Crait outpost as a guard. Rhayna will accompany him, but stay behind to help the resistance fighters there. My stomach clenched with worry at hearing this. Reports from Crait showed consistent turmoil, but both of them seemed unconcerned. They spent the majority of the night trying to convince me that this is a routine mission, and they will be fine. When I told them about my own mission briefing, Boe Boe spit out his drink and Rhayna burst out laughing. The rest of the night was spent with them teasing me relentlessly about being assigned to Captain Andor.

They know you like him.

“Whatever, it’s fine.” I said flustered. Restless, I dragged myself out of bed and pulled on my civilian clothes. I checked the pocket in my shoulder to verify that the lullaby was secured in place. All alliance members were given one. It is a suicide pill, just in case any of us were to be captured. Shuddering, I started to pack my few belongings and essentials for traveling off-planet. I had done this about three times before it was finally time to head to the hangar.

I was full of nervous tension as I entered, and headed toward the U-Wing that I knew belonged to Cassian.

Oh, you’re on a first name basis now.

“Shut up.” I said quietly as I approached, looking to see if he was here yet.

“Captain Y/L/N.” he said behind me, startling me. I didn’t hear him approaching.

Still a sneaky snake.

“Captain Andor.” I said, nodding.

“Are you ready?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Good, let’s go.” He said, passing me and stepping into the U-Wing.

Oh, this is going to be fun, I can tell.

I stepped in behind him setting my bag in the cargo netting, and sat next to him in the co-pilots seat. He flashed a quick glance at me before focusing on the controls.

May as well make yourself useful if you’re going to sit in this seat.

“Where are we headed?” I asked, preparing to make the calculations for the jump into hyperspace.

“Kafrene.” He said nonchalantly.

I felt a chill, remembering the name from one of my classes. The Ring of Kafrene, a mining colony. Imperial occupied.  I forced my expression to remain neutral as we took off, not wanting to show any fear.

After I completed the calculations, we made the jump into hyperspace. From there the ship would effectively pilot itself, so I grabbed my data pad and headed to the bench.

Try not to fall off of it this time.

I couldn’t help but smile at the memory of the first time I met Cassian. It seemed so long ago now.

I scrolled through the different literature on the data pad, and decided to read the U-Wing manual in an attempt to calm my nerves.

Nerd.

I was reading about the overdrive cooling system when Cassian sat next to me and peered over my shoulder.

“Good read?” He asked, smirking.

“Riveting.” I said, keeping my focus on the manual. I tried to ignore the warmth spreading through me with his close proximity.

Easy girl.

I glanced up when there was no response, and noticed he was staring straight ahead, deep in thought. “Care to share?”.

He turned to me with a questioning look.

“You seem to have something on your mind. You can talk to me about it, we are friends remember?” I said smirking, referring to his cover on the first day we met.

He grinned. “From a lost soul to a Captain in the Alliance.” He said this as if I weren’t sitting next to him, then leaned back and closed his eyes. I took the rare opportunity to observe him while he wasn’t paying attention. His hair had grown out since we met. A strand hung loose on his forehead, just above his eyebrows. I fought a strong urge to reach out and brush it back.

Keep your hands to yourself.

The rumors about him said that he had been fighting since he was a child. I would never have guessed it by looking at him, but he was the same age as me. He looked older though, worn and tired.

War does that to you.

I wanted to reach out and comfort him in some way, but I resisted. I don’t know him much, apart from the rumors I had heard. I don’t even know if the contact would be welcome. I decided to just let him sit in peace for a moment, and went back to reading the manual in our comfortable silence.

Coward.

“Why did you follow me?” He asked, suddenly.

I looked up from the data pad again, startled by the sudden outburst. “I’m sorry, what?”

He fixed me with a searching look. “Why did you follow me the day we met?”

I chewed on my lip as I thought about a way to answer. It was a question that I have asked myself many times now, but hadn’t come to a conclusion that made sense. Under his intense gaze, I said the first thing that came to my mind. “I was frightened. I had no clue where I was and I didn’t know anyone. But for some reason, I felt like I had to follow you. I didn’t feel like I had any other choice, at the time.”

I saw a look of disappointment flash across his face, but it vanished so quickly I may have imagined it. “I suppose that makes sense.” We sat in silence again, this time watching each other. I was desperately searching for something to say when he suddenly jumped off the bench. He dug in the cargo netting for a moment and retrieved his own data pad. “Our mission.” He said holding it out to me.

Oh yeah, we’re supposed to be doing something useful.

I took it from him gingerly, and felt my hand tingle where my fingers had brushed against his.

I wonder if he felt that too.

I shook the thought off, centering myself, and focused on the screen. It was a coded message from one of the informants on Kafrene. It reported there was a recent influx of storm trooper and security droid patrols around one of the warehouses. The informant did not want to get too close to avoid blowing his cover, so he was requesting backup to investigate. “What do we think is in it?” I asked, scrolling through the pictures.

“They think there may be a database with records of the imperial weapons manufacturing facilities. If it’s there, and we can get our hands on it, we may be able to bring some of them down.” He stopped and considered this. “For a while at least, until they realize we have it.”

Seems unlikely.

I chewed my bottom lip still analyzing what was on the screen. At the time the images were taken, there were two storm troopers and a security droid stationed at every entrance. Including the ventilation systems. Whatever is being hidden in there, it must be important to have that level of security. “It’s awfully conspicuous, is it possible it’s just a trap?”

“Yes.” He said without hesitation.

Fantastic.

I handed the data pad back to him running possible scenarios through my head. Each one seeming more far-fetched than the other. “So,” I said cheerfully, “what’s the plan?”

He smiled, “We need a diversion.”

Now I’m concerned on a number of levels.

[badhomestuckfanfiction-blog]

Homestuck High - Chapter 4

Homestuck high Chapter 4: The duel, a homestuck fanfic | FanFiction

to the people asking if im a troll no i am not i wuld rly like 2 bee one tho since the homestuck ones are cool!

~My worst fear is confirmed

idk why id own a dildo to stick up an ass lol im not old enough 2 own one.

~A. I love how you took their comment as a serious request

~B. If you're not old enough then WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU WRITING EROTIC FICTION!?

to the nice ppl who left nice reviews i wnt 2 say thank u because they made me smile hehe.

~It must take some serious willpower to write a nice review on this story

nefotion gave me a REALLY god idea 2 add in wizards 2 the story so i might do that.

~You already got one though

~for the last god damn time, hagrid, im not a fuckin wwizard

im rely glad u like the character developement but whaat is my immortal? do you mean like the song by evenescense?

~I actually read My Immortal earlier today and DEAR LORD. I'm not even part of the Harry Potter fandom but it was just so awful

Just when all hope was thought to be lost Eridan took out of his deadly weapon knwon as the almighty Demontroll and began to rock out on it so the noise would distract Sollux wich it did and he let go of Jade and she came running over to them.

~But Eridan's Strife Specibus is Riflekind though

"Thank you sooooooooooo much John" she exclaimed

"My name is Eridan, John is no longer part of this body but exists now within hells wreched flames!" Eridan spoke

"Oh ok" Jade said

~#Jadebestfriend

and walked over to Dave

"So..." Sollux begins as he took out his own instrement, the dark and almighty Red

~And blue

tooth which was an old wooden violin

~If Sollux played an instrument it would probably be a double-neck guitar

and began to fight back against Eridan "You are challenging me to a duel"

"You will not win it" Eridan ejaculates

~That's the second time someone ejaculated from talking

as he plucks the guitar harder "you will not win over my wrath and you will no take these chicks back to your castle within the dark clouds to create the next evil dark overloard!"

~Can I just take a moment to ask why Sollux is evil

"Then if i lose the battle you must hand over to me Rose and Jade so I may plant the dark spawn within them to create the ultimite POWER" Sollux suggested

~Wait, that happens if he LOSES? Wouldn't he WANT to lose then?

Both demons began to rock out on their instruments and a clash of white and black aroma smashed together within the space between them as they batteld it out. they began to sweat. it was a tough duel but Eridan did a triple eighty and knocked Sollux back flying.

~How does playing an instrument knock someone back?

"WELL DONE ERIDAN!" everyone on Eridans side cheered.

~Is there anyone besides Sollux not on his side?

"Whatevs" Eridan said, putting his guitar into his pocket

~It's bigger on the inside

~Unrelated, but I can't wait for series 10 of Doctor Who. I used to be a massive Whovian, but now it's been over a year since series 9 ended, and I really want to reignite that flame. Anyways, back to the story

Sollux walked away in defeat but hed be backk they all knew it.

Eridan took off his horns and John returned.

"What happenend" John ingerigated

~Ingerigated

"you turned into a super awesome demon

~They're called trolls

called Eridan and you battled that Sollux guy to protect me and Jade" Rose bubbled.

~Rose bubbled

"Oh ok" John said

~What is it with John and having the most underwhelming reactions?

"Lets go to class" Gamzee cornered

~Is the author just using random words they don't know the meaning of to try and sound smart?

"I smell a war coming..."

~That's Terezi's job

~Actually, where is Terezi? Or Nepeta? Or literally any of the other trolls?

Tarvos wanred "I do not like this. Be careful John mboy"

The next day Rose came over to John bubbling with news

"John guess what" she said

"what" John said

"Were going to have a baby" she cried

~I know I already used this image 3 times but

"Thats great" John said

~Not even an exclamation mark. Fucking cold

~Also, teen pregnancy is far from great

and he hugged her tightly. he always wanted to be a

"Whats going on" Dave inquisited

~Dave somehow managed to interrupt the narrator

"Rose is going to have a baby" John said proudly

Dave smiled "But wait what about Sollux and the dark spawm"

~He said this while smiling

"Dont worry about that right now we must celebrate" Rose manifactured.

~Manifactured

"Ok" Dave said

next chapter there will be a baby shower and a realy big surprise but is it a good or bad one review to find out

~Probably awful, but I'm not sure if it'll be worse than *shudder* chapter 3

[nardaviel]

For the fanfiction meme: 1, 8, 18, 26, 27, 28, 39, 46, 50, 51. :D

fanfiction questions meme

THANK U MYST !!!!!!! ive hit my 400-word minimum for today so im taking a break

this is lots of questions tho so heres a readmore but will it show up on my blog… no one knows……… how do i fix this problem…………… when will i fix it instead of just complaining about it all the time

1. What was the first fandom you got involved in?

harry potter. i have extremely, extremely vague memories of reading a sailor moon usagi/mamoru smut fic as like an 11-year-old before then, but really, the first fandom i got into was harry potter

8. How did you get involved in your latest fandom?

answered

18. What ship have you written the most about?

uhhhhhhh. probably kinatsuen. i didnt write much fanfic before boueibu so its definitely a boueibu ship. but ill go look

ok here are the word count totals rn, including char & char as well as char/char:

enkin 14754enatsu 14829kinatsu 16420ibukinatsuen 16503kinatsuen 54897

not counted “i fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)”, 10506 words divided up among kinatsu, enkin, kinatsuen, and maybe like 200 words max of enatsu, but i wasnt gonna go in and get word counts for all 40 drabbles because i cbacounted twice despicable objects (2791), path to the stars (4758), warmth (7205) are all included in both the enkin and kinatsuen totals

yeah … there was no way kinatsuen could have lost. spindle has several thousand more words than all the kinatsu and ibukinatsuen combined. im kind of amused at how ive written one (1) ibukinatsuen fic but it still has the second highest word count

i guess you could also count in terms of fics though in which case ibukinatsuen would lose but kinatsuen would still win:

Kinugawa Atsushi/Kusatsu Kinshirou/Yufuin En (6)Kinugawa Atsushi/Kusatsu Kinshirou (5)Kusatsu Kinshirou/Yufuin En / Kusatsu Kinshirou & Yufuin En (4)Kinugawa Atsushi/Yufuin En / Kinugawa Atsushi & Yufuin En (4)Arima Ibushi/Kinugawa Atsushi/Kusatsu Kinshirou/Yufuin En (1)

this answer is way longer than necessary but i got interested ljkasdf

26. How do you come up with your fanfic titles?

i go to the post window on ao3 and realize that my scrivener doc is still titled “tower au” or “demon en” or whatever, and i cry. then i desperately try to think of something thematically appropriate and hopefully pretty. usually during this process i drift further and further away from whats in the fic and the ideas become more and more tenuously connected (e.g. spindle, which is very appropriate to the fic but only in an extremely symbolic, abstracted way) but by this point im frustrated so i just go with it anyway. or, very occasionally, a title presents itself to me from the text of the fic (grace, despicable objects).

i also make vashti help me im probably really annoying about it

27. What do you hate more: Coming up with titles or writing summaries?

BOTH ………………… IT IS THE WORST PART ABOUT FICWRITING because its fucken impossible and also because by that point the fic is done! and im excited to post it!! or maybe just excited to not have to stress about it anymore. but i cant post it because i have to think of ONE WORD to encapsulate the fic and then like THREE SENTENCES to encapsulate it in a different way and both of them have to be interesting but not spoilery and how tf do you do that and my brain is fried from editing and asjl;dkfasdf. honestly though i hate them both equally

28. If someone were to draw a piece of fanart for your story, which story would it be and what would the picture be of?

whatever they wanted i suppose?? i would be like :OOOOO no matter what tbh

but like if i was commissioning someone and could get whatever i wanted …… idk. maybe something from spindle but my image of ens uniform is very much based on someones art of a male homura so if i was specific about what it looked like, that would be stealing someones ideas, but if not, it wouldnt look right to me ???? i wouldnt care if the fanart was free but if i was commissioning i would want to have more say in what i got ;;

so um. not spindle. possibly a scene from the merman au, with merman en and merman kinshirou saving unconscious human prince atsushi from the shipwreck and bickering the whole time lmaooo “this is the worst idea youve ever had en” “you say that all the time” “each idea is worse than the last!!” “you can always go back home” “ugh ugh ugh just keep moving” meanwhile atsushi dazedly thinks he hears beautiful voices but they sound really annoyed with each other which is not quite in keeping with stories hes heard of sirens but then he passes out again

…….. yeah thatd be the basis for my commission. that scene

39. What is you greatest strength as a writer?

fuck idk. um. …i want to say dialogue but i feel like sometimes people in my fics talk for too long because i like writing it too much LMAO and i want to say angsty introspection but i have the same problem there. maybe i just think im best at those things bc theyre the things that come easiest to me?? and i think my characterization tends to be solid but everyone thinks that, right… no one writes poor characterization on purpose, do they… unless they have some other reason i guess. this question is smth for my readers to answer for themselves!!!! bc i dont know

46. If someone was to read one of your fanfics, which fic would you recommend to them and why?

well i mean .. it would depend on who was asking. i dont really know how to answer this bc i dont know this hypothetical someones likes and dislikes??? if it was an enkin shipper who liked pain, path to the stars. if it was an enatsu shipper who didnt want sad things in boueibu (im looking at u nicole), illuminations. if it was someone who would read any pairing but didnt have lots of time to read, i would edit i want no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true) as ive been meaning to do and then tell them to read that. and so on. i really dont mean this as an evasive answer ;aljksdf but um if someone said “i like all pairings! i like all genres! i have plenty of time! i dont mind WIPs!” then i would rec veil or spindle bc im proudest of them and i think theyre good and i want more readers for my plotty multichaptered stuff

50. How did you get into reading and/or writing fanfiction?

honestly …. i have no idea how i got into reading fanfiction. literally no idea. i guess i was just poking around the internet as an 11yo and randomly found some and thought it was cool

and i guess writing was a natural extension of reading? ive been writing since before i could physically write. i would make up poems in the car as a smol smol child. i have no memories of this but my parents do bc they were like “wtf” and yeah anyway it continued from there although i like to think im better now than i was when i was like 8. and like. my first fanfiction was really bad. it was really bad yall. but i got what i now realize were the kindest, most encouraging reviews (on ff.net. i still have a hard time remembering that ao3 has “comments” and not “reviews” asdjkf) the same way my parents and teachers encouraged my often very awful writing over the years so !!! my confidence in my writing is fragile but i have confidence sometimes and its bc ppl were so nice to me when i was awful and that gave me a chance to become less awful. but that doesnt have much to do with the question im just really grateful whenever i think about it. i got into writing fanfiction bc i was already a writer basically

51. Rant or Gush about one thing you love or hate in the world of fanfiction! Go!

answered