#no longer a teen girl.
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its my 20th birthday today.
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Sometimes I want to bring Morrigan but then I remember I play as a face-tanking rogue and I bring Wynne.
Warden Cousland, Morrigan, Wynne / Dragon Age Origins (c) Bioware
#dragon age#dragon age fan art#comic#morrigan#warden cousland#healer#bioware#dao#dragon age origins#hero of ferelden#cousland#wynne#I'm back. I guess.#I did not notice at first but apparently I took a break from tumblr. I've already had several breakdowns over the dashboard.#(turns out I was on the 'for you' tab rather than the 'following' tab. the theme had changed as well. absolutely insufferable.)#I've felt really unconnected for a while but it actually feels better now? as if my tumblr mutuals was the missing link.#very healthy and hot of me ngl#so. I had a two week holiday this year and they were instantly slurped up. it went so fast!#there was this big football thing the week before my holiday - basically teams of teens come from all around the world to play etc.#I heard a girl tell her teammates that 'I'd love to travel on this bus every morning; happy people all around you; just add some music...'#she was also very excited when the bridge opened. the 'happy people' around her sighed bitterly and leaned back for a ten minute wait.#it is thankfully over now. the bus home is no longer stuffed full of football teams. but it's a fun experience for the players etc etc etc#well. in other thrilling news I went to spy on our sister shops during my time off. to see what they do differently. maybe steal some ideas#one store was like an instagram post with fancy teacups and stylish outfits. who knew a second-hand store could be so boring.#the other was like a man-cave with furniture and a passively-aggressive note by the toys stating that 'if u break it u pay. idiot. tnx<3'.#the man-cave was my favourite :)#rant over now! take care and bye etc!
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Bazeema
#we LOVE Bazeema in this house#thats it thats all the tags#she's great tho I wish I had her ability to sneak away like that#like fr her and Bruce Wayne are somehow related#introverts deserve sanctuary 😭😭 preach girl#wish movie#wish disney#wish#disney#disney wish spoilers#gifs#bazeema#bazeema wish#spoilers#the teens wish#simon and safi are going to take longer to post I need to make more gifs for them#safis kind of hard cause he doesnt really have any moments by himself except when he sneezes 3:#but ill make it work#also dw Asha will get her own post too but the other teens need more love on here#ALSO pls no one get mad about the 5th gif I think its very funny and makes sense that its in here
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But behind those emerald eyes, she's a devil in disguise
The prom queen has blood on her hands
Every boy and girl she dates disappears without a trace
So be careful when she asks you to dance
#my art#little nightmares the pretender#little nightmares#mad tsai killer queen#it just. kinda clicked in my head. anyways.#I hope the link works. my phone doesn't like to work with me here.#I don't know how prom goes. I assume it's like in Mean Girls or Carrie.#if I look at it any longer I'm going to start hating it.#pale city teens
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#the longer you look#my fellow post soviet peers will probably appreciate this#2000s nostalgia#2000s aesthetic#late 2000s#old tech#2000s tech#2000s girl#2000s teen#blink 182#christmas tree#happy new year
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girls will say they’re tough shit until 7 by catfish and the bottlemen comes on
#AND ID BEG YOU BUT YOU KNOW IM NEVER HOMEEEEE AND I LOVE YOU BUT I NEED ANOTHER YEAR ALONE#literally made a whole playlist based around the specific feeling this song evokes#like is it really a sad song or is it just one of the bands you listened to religiously as a pre-teen with friends you no longer talk to#specifically this band bc they were only active for a few years before breaking up and my friendship group was OBSESSED w them#i saw them live and everything and all my big memories from the ages like 14-16 remind me of this band and vice versa#im nostalgic for what was probably one of the worst times of my life. fucking hell#would i go back there? no. do i miss what we had? a little#what's the stand by me quote. does anyone ever have better friends than the ones they had when they were twelve. or smthn#that for pre-teen girls. the other night i spent over an hour going through old snapchat memories#'seshes' babies 😭 but the vibes were so real#actually there's one girl that i was best mates with that i have an INSANE storytime about now lmao like it was so fucking random 😭#catfish and the bottlemen#song rec
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maa&dad: thoda exercise karo you need to be more physically active
me: nahi karna
also me: starts working out to have my strength up by navratri so i can play garba
#desiblr#desi tumblr#desi girl#desi teen#literally started working out from today so i can dance for longer during navratri hehe
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fright night 2011 remake 🤝 heathers musical adaptation
changing the characterization of the protagonist to recently have fallen in with the mean “popular” crowd at school abandoning their “uncool” childhood best friend for social clout only to realize that they were wrong after their friend almost dies, presumably to make the protagonist more relatable/likable because they are the audience-insert character while still aligning them with a group of characters that the audience is supposed to hate for plot reasons
#(which imo is kind of a lame writing choice for different reasons respectively but w/e)#(in fright night it’s so that the main character can achieve teen male fantasy fulfillment of having a hot gf + high social status while#still being ‘different’)#(while in heathers it’s so that the main character is only briefly ‘corrupted’ by the evil popular girls so that we like her more#even though she’s been friend with them way longer in the movie + is way more complicit in how they treat other students at the school unti#she meets someone who pushed back on her comfortable position in high school social status and she finds herself on the other end of their#antagonism and decides it’s bad actually. which is more interesting to me!!)#anyway. idk#might be too niche sorry i was already thinking about how fright night was adapted to speak to 2010s sensibilities of filmmaking/pop culture
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i forget if i ever actually talked about the bedroom scene in aou but it's one of my favorites. the teenage lesbianism of it all
#i love how it feels so real and true to what it's like to be a teen flirting with another girl for the first time but not quite being ready#remind me to write a longer post about it sometime#m
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what do you guys think kaeyas horse would be called :-)
#x#gi posting#i told myself i would post abt smth else bc i’ve had kaeya on the brain too much but. Well.#i’m trying to figure out what i want from his horse. i Think i want crepus to have let kaeya pick her out to learn to ride her when he was#still relatively young#maybe 11ish? and i think diluc mustve obviously known how to ride beforehand#maybe he’s had his ‘own’ horse for a little longer too#anyways. all i know is that kaeyas is a mare (stil researching the breed. let me be) and she’s an absolute nightmare to handle in the modern#day. she only lets kaeya groom her and whatnot🥹 she wasn’t taken when varka left bc it honestly would’ve been a safety hazard to even try#i like to think she was more chill during his teen years but became nastier after. you know#also she is kaeya’s one blind spot i think it would be SOOOO funny if he’s convinced she’s still his gorgeous angel when everyone else#is just like kaeya she���s a MENACE#also he calls her darling when he talks to her. he’s such a horse girl in my heart
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Link
Chapters: 3/4
Fandom: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Relationships: Padmé Amidala/Darth Maul
Characters: Padmé Amidala, Darth Maul, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Sheev Palpatine | Darth Sidious, Dooku | Darth Tyranus, Sabé (Star Wars)
Additional Tags: Naboo Royal Handmaidens (Star Wars), Alternate Universe - Soulmates, soulbond, alternate invasion of Naboo, Trade Federation Invasion of Naboo | Naboo Crisis (Star Wars), Idiot Teenage Love, FOREVER LOVE, Padmé Amidala Lives, failsith Maul, Timeline What Timeline, Teen Padme/Teen Maul
Summary:
She’d been speaking to the padawan in secret.
A twig Maul should have snapped- that little simpering bright-haired nobody, a Jedi child, useless in conflict, in the war, a little idiot baby promising peace as bombs fell.
“He is actually,” Padme pointed out, pressing her teacup to his furious lips to sip, “Older than both of us, Maul.”
#oh god the teens are FLIRTING#(with death treasonn and each other)#Padme: MY SOULMATE AND CONSORT AND-#the handmaidens: our soulmate obviously#no but Sabe IS going to peirce Maul's ears while Padme is gone#Maul is also just. going to continue to get taller and fitter while Padme silently combusts#learning kissing!#imperial titles!#the sheer fast one about to be pulled on the Jedi and the entire galactic government#THAT IS MY GIRL#settling for love in the shadows?#sorry no actually never that's the trash of canon and it doesn't live here#Various palace officials: okay. but seriously. WHERE DID THE SNEERING ZABRAK COME FROM#Dorme pointing toward the no longer intact dome: that way#padme/maul
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i love being an age regressor ૮ᴖﻌᴖა ♡ tonight it feels very affirming and comforting. I've kind of always had to look out for myself and be my biggest supporter, and there are a lot of strange ways this feels like a second chilhood at times.
like i regress to being younger, but I'm also a girl now in a completely different place with completely different circumstances/social circles etc. yk?
but when i feel rly small and my reality feels so big, it makes me happy that older me is there for me to make the important decisions and guide us there :3 it's like i am holding my hand through this, i haven't had an adult rly look out for me like this and it's so nice to have one now!!
i don't have to be scared of big changes, I'm doing good and I'm here for me and i can take it easy. i have someone who is helping me ♡ i have someone who is keeping me safe. they work hard so i can be little ^.^ thanks big sis hehe ✌🏾
ouggghh im not little anymore but (｡ﾉω＼｡) ♡ yeah. when i am little i can still like.. function as an adult n talk to ppl n stuff. but it's also like, well like i said before ig 0:
like im smaller but different‚ subtly. still me‚ but someone else since I'm like.. a teen?? that i never was. my childhood was nothing like my adulthood so this rly is a whole new thing little me has needed to learn 2 navigate emotionally/mentally.
but as i become more aware of when I'm in a little headspace and not, the difference in perception stands out to me a lot more. i can't articulate it very well... oughh. this is giving me very specific questions, but on that note — i am happy to feel so safe and looked out for when I'm little 😌💕 i used to feel scared and helpless but it's different now. we're doing this together 👩🏽🤝👩🏾 i got ya lil sis
#sometimes I'm a teen sometimes I'm like 6ish??#the latter is rare but hm ૮ – ﻌ–ა when I'm little older me is still aware and can handle talking to ppl and getting the sentiment across n#whatnot. i don't know off the top of my head how different teen me and younger me are from each other 0: or how similar we all are#but bc older me is always aware like we all have my memories and experiences yk? and my littles r just Here and they come n go randomly#i am curious about these headspaces..#oh ? i went into the younger headspace rn (❁´◡`❁) ♡ it is pretty different.#very docile (｡ﾉω＼｡) not a lot of thoughts just like. vague feelings. she laid on my big plushie n got comfies and drifted away though#idk...... i like.. invited other parts of myself 2 come say hey 2 me and make their presence known#(｡･ω･｡)ﾉ so i can take better care of n be more responsible for us since it's not just me yk?#and like teen me is kinda bratty and angsty lol but also such a hoe 💀 i love her akskaka girl..#she's such a daddy's girl low-key?? I've never had a dad or wanted one before lol.. she a lil boycrazy 🙈💕#i mean.. so am i but she's taking it to new heights lol!! 😭 it's interesting what wires get crossed n new connections I'm making these days#but like. they're both p different from me at both their respective ages and just compared to when I'm not regressed.#the teen one's been harder to pin down just bc i kinda go in n out of that one a lot but it's been going on a lot longer than i realize#so like.. i just naturally made space for me to be that way without knowing?? but now when i regress I'm like hey what up ✌🏾😏#ms ma'am's here to vibe for a bit. maybe look at some cute boys‚ maybe talk some shit‚ flirt a little who knows 💀#she's kind of a hoodrat like i was ill give her that lmao 😹 she's fun#she's also a lovergirl who rly cares about our friends just like me ʕ ꈍᴥꈍʔ ♡ i think on a surface lvl u wouldn't know the difference#between us unless u hung out around me a lot‚ but it's cute to think about ^.^#u are hanging out with us 👩🏽🤝👩🏾💕 we r having fun and appreciate u
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Dear horror youtubers who write video essays explaining and examining extraordinary works of horror that I deeply want to see and understand but will literally never be able to safely watch due to my own trauma - thus providing me with a way to learn from and connect to works of art that would be otherwise forever inaccessible to me,
I love you.
youtube
#original#horror#final girl studios#if this youtuber is on tumblr someone should tag her#LOVE the idea of a girl coming of age and becoming monstrous but now obsessed with how they described this movie as#'a girl coming of age and finding that the people AROUND her have become monsters to her'#fucking. brilliant! thank you for giving me a way to learn from and enjoy this movie! i am more sure than ever that i should not watch it!#but i am so grateful to you for giving me such a gift! how wonderful!#that said - folks please be very cognizant of the warnings at the beginning of the video. there were still parts I had to look away from#also it was cathartic experiencing this movie from this POV bc 'the horror of girlhood being validated' is healing tbh#it was HORRIFYING being a little girl who became a teenage girl! and no one seemed to care what girl-children went through!#I mean folks were dismissive of kids in general but teen girls and little girls are like. a Joke to a lot of people.#everything we liked was ridiculed. and our fears held similarly little weight to adults. and yet. The Horror of Girlhood is so Real.#I Can Only Imagine how much more girls of color were dismissed and targeted and dehumanized.#and then you've got the little Trans girls and teens - who were playing The Horror of Girlhood on like. Nightmare Hard Mode.#the specific horror of girlhood for me as a transmasc AFAB person meant that the existential horror of being seen as a girl#meshed with my gender dysphoria in a way I did not have the language for and would not for many years to come#like the internalized misogyny and the gender dysphoria were literally impossible to parse apart. i couldn't tell which was which.#i just knew i HATED being a girl and i wanted it to STOP. and it was mostly because of how people treated girls.#like it probably took me longer to figure out my gender because of that.
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feeling like you’re 12 when you’re 22 is genuinely such a humiliating experience.
#my dad and mom have been on my case ab asking for permission before I go places and it makes me kinda sick#seeing everyone around me make plans or whatever and then being like ‘I’ll have to ask 🥺 👉🏽👈🏽#’#and my dad’s a liar he’s like it’s not like we ever say no#except my mother does and so does he???#even the muslim girls I am friends with have more freedom and you know what’s amazing ab this is#they can’t stop me from going to school. they don’t pay for that#they can’t take my car. they don’t pay for that#my mom can stop making food for me and I will manage just fine#they wanna kick me out???? blessing in disguise#but it’s hilarious that as an adult i’m still paying for everything I use but I still have to ask permission genuinely fuck off#my parents when I have to stay late on campus for some school event: 😒#the way I’d be making money rn if they didn’t decide to come and stalk me at work and see me without my hijaab on#and that one’s on me I could choose to just work with it on and make them happy#but I literally can’t as a matter of principle#i’m given such little pride as it is and if I say I don’t want to work with a hijaab on that’s that#i got an internship two days ago for the summer and you can bet your ass I’m not wearing my hijaab#except it’s not paid#and as much as I have guilt spending I really don’t spend a lot and it makes me so angry#i know that your 20s isn’t your whole life and people shouldn’t think that if they waste their 20s their life is up#but it’s like#my teens were already so shitty and abusive and trapped#how much longer do I have to deal w this before i’m treated like an adult#trick question! it’s only until a man can own me bc then he can make my decisions instead of them <3
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Steve and Robin feel like sitcom characters that somehow got stuck in an action horror series. They deserve a spinoff where they can just get up to funny little shenanigans
#where we get to see more of mean girl steve and disaster lesbian robin#let them get a little apartment and explore being young adults#stranger things#steve harrington#robin buckley#also side note it feels like the duffers create characters and just plop em all into this world#regardless of whether or not they Fit#like eddie is an Amazing character but it feels like he’s part of a different show#like he needs his Own show because his character is so carefully crafted but he just gets 45 minutes?#like they make characters and go#yeah that’s great put them in#without thinking of the greater story they’re trying to tell#like suddenly this season is about the older teens helping a metalhead escape murder charges#and no longer about children from smallown indiana#the children aren’t even IN smalltown indiana anymore#this turned into a much longer rant than I expected#i think Imm real sleep deprived
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So tired of continuesly feeling this way I keep trying and failing time and time and time again
#i dont want to feel a profound sadness anytime anyone (especially someone i know) expresses being grateful about their group of friends#i dont want to feel this way every time i find out about them being at a social gathering or whatever together#i feel so awful so so awfully patheticly lonely i feel so stupid and i feel so horrible when admitting it#and i fall into deep worry about my situation never changing bc everyone i know has a network of friends from childhood or school#and pretty much no one from my childhood or school stayed in my life i feel so scared of my future how will i live a life this way#anytime i come across a post talking about long time friends i cannot stomach reading it#it's all so debilitating and i dont know how much longer i can keep on ranting like this#i moved countries i hoped things would change i approached people i talked i asked to hang out three years later i'm left with two#(used to be three but she seems to not care about me at all) seperate friends i'm so grateful for both#but it doesnt work out. it doesnt work this way. i cannot socialize with them since theyre not muslim n we have very different life styles#so i tried finding muslim friends i got associated with the muslim students association went to gatherings joined the book club#i met very lovely girls but nothing more came out of it#i remember the first time i took part in something it was two years ago i talked with a group#it was a group who already were friends and one girl who also had just met them#a year later i find out theyve all become friends and hang out. vallahi i dont know what it is i'm doing wrong i'm so tired and so desperate#it kills me. it's so scary to not have a social network not have friends to lean on to call when youre in need it's so isolating#i've lived my teen years this way i'm continuing to live my 20s this way and cant stop but think it has to do with me#anyways enough of that now bye#nesi rants
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