#no mater how tragic they are

[1jemmagirl22]

Because you're breaking my heart.

Top 30 TV Ships (2022 edition): 26; Owen Harper and Toshiko Sato, Torchwood

[eventually--darling]

i rlly dont understand the logic behind some of these scenes like what are the writers trying to convey. bc some of the stuff she does is SO fucked up but then it turns to like? look at this inspirational success. what shes doing is working wow look at her

[ourtermporarybrilliance]

You'll never find a bitch more obsessed with catholic imagery than a former catholic, bonus if Italian.

It's me I'm the former catholic. And I'm Italian, a southerner even.

[nightmarerodent]

I need more of that sweet kung Jin angst

Ask and you shall receive 😈 This one came out more hurt and comfort tho. Hope that’s ok.

Kung Jin knew he should have expected they’d try to pull something like this, prideful assholes that they were. He just wasn’t expecting how pissed off the whole thing would make him. How pissed off they would make him.

After months of research, planning, and preparations, of getting pointers from Scor- Grandmaster Hasashi, and with the aid of Lord Fujin, Kung Jin was able to enter the Netherrealm and bring his uncle home at long last. It was a remarkable feat, one that his friends wanted to help with, but one that he insisted he had to do alone. Jacqui, to his surprise, was the hardest to convince. Though with how the Briggs household stressed the importance of family, he came to understand why she was so insistent. Takeda talked her down though. This had been a mater of honor, something he understood well. If he needed them, he’d call. She practically forced him to promise to do so at the first sign of trouble.

After three grueling months he returned home with a restored Kung Lao. After some days recovering a celebration was held at the Wu Shi. Johnny put the whole thing together, and new and old defenders alike gathered to welcome their lost brother home as well as catch up. He should have known news of his success and his uncle’s return would have reached his family.

He didn’t notice when they arrived. His back had been turned as he and Jacqui exchanged playful witty jabs that had their friends laughing, Takeda’s arm wrapped around his girlfriend’s waist and Cassie recording the whole thing for posterity. The academy’s wine stores had been broken into hours before and they were all thoroughly buzzed. Probably why he was so willing to cause a scene in front of his new friends. Some of which didn’t know the full extent of his oh so tragic backstory.

“Jin Jin!” He heard his mother’s overly kind, well practiced, voice call out, causing the hairs on the back of his neck to shoot up and all air to vacate his lungs.

The group’s voices silenced immediately, sensing his drastic shift in mood as he whipped himself around and came face to face with the people he hoped he’d never see again. His mother and father, dressed to the nines and without a hair out of place, his sister, the only one with an apologetic smile and ‘I’m sorry’ eyes, her dick head of a husband and his upturned nose, wishing he was anywhere but here, some younger cousins or nephews he’s never seen before, born after his exile from the family compound. Smiles were painted on painted lips. The stench of expensive perfume slapped you in the face. His mother always did love to flaunt their wealth and status in front of the lesser folk.

“Oh, there’s my brave boy,” her honeyed words tastes like soured milk, “I always knew you’d live up expectations, even after running away.”

“Ran… away…?” Jin couldn’t quite process what he was hearing.

“You caused such a stir, you should have heard what those snakes were hissing, but we can look past all of that now. They’ll be biting their tongues after this. You’ve brought such honor to the family bringing Kung Lao back to us. And thwarting Shinnok too! A statue has already been made in your likeness to add to Raiden’s collection,” she continued, “You’ve done well to cement the family name into that of legend.”

“Ran away?” Jin just dumbly repeated, anger started to boil over.

“I know we have a lot to discuss once we get back home,” it was his father’s turn to speak, “You are expected to take up responsibility now that you’re a man of the family, but we can speak more on that later. For now, let’s enjoy the festivities.”

“I’m sorry, ran away?!” Kung Jin’s voice dripped venom and his volume rose with each syllable, “Are you ready trying to spin it that I ran away?! Is that what you’ve been telling people?!”

“Jin, that’s no way to speak to your-” his mother tried but he cut her off.

“You bastards kicked me out! You said I was a disgrace! ‘Blight on the family name’. That’s what you called me, right?” Jin spat, not caring that he was undoubtedly making a scene.

“It was hard for everyone but I realize now my mistake,” his father put a hand on his shoulder, “We’ve all talked it over and we’re willing to look past your… affliction. The head of the Huang Mining conglomerate, Mr. Guo, you remember him, yes? He has a son with similar interests. We could arrange something. Perhaps if you two met we could-”

Jin swatted his father’s hand away as if it burned his flesh. Of course. Of fucking course. Of course they’d come here and try to take his accomplishment as their own. Or course they’d only accept him back into the fold if it benefited them in some way. Fuck that and fuck them. Whatever BS his parents were trying to pull, he’ll have none of it.

“My affliction?” He got in his father’s face, “I’m gay, not diseased. You threw me out onto the streets at fourteen because I didn’t fit your oh so precious image of the great and mighty Kung name. I had to make it on my own, look after myself, for years and in that time I’ve realized that I don’t need or want you. I don’t need to regain my honor because I never lost it. If anything it’s you people bringing shame to the family, not me!”

“Watch your tone, Kung Jin! I am still your father!”

“If I could remove your blood from my veins and give it back I would.”

A few things happened next, or perhaps a bit before. Jin was too preoccupied with his family to notice his team behind him. He didn’t see the look Takeda and Jacqui shared or her squeezing his arm and nodding before letting him go. He didn’t see Cassie about to march up and give his family a piece of her mind. He didn’t see Jacqui stopping her to whisper something in her ear or her bringing her phone back up and hitting record.

He did notice, however, the hand of his best friend clasping his shoulder and bringing him back and the rush of external calm that came with Takeda entering his brain unannounced. He noticed how he turned Jin to face him, how he invited himself into his personal space.

“Calm down,” his friend shushed him, running one hand through his hair and drawing their faces alarmingly close to one another, “You’re causing a fuss.”

And Takeda kissed him. Like it was nothing at all, like it’s just a thing you do, Takeda kissed him.

Play along. Takeda’s voice rang in his head. We need to make this look good.

Takeda’s free hand took Jin’s and guided it to his hip. He grabbed on with a vice grip, the only thing keeping him grounded in whatever strange reality he had just found himself in, and pulled the smaller man in, deepening the kiss and enticing an almost real sounding moan out of Takeda. Jin had no clue what the hell was going on. His, admittedly hot as fuck, best friend was kissing him in front of his homophobic parents. And said best friend’s girlfriend. And gods know who else. Jin thought he heard a laugh but his mind was too preoccupied with the impromptu make out session going on to pay it any mind.

You’re a shit kisser by the way.

Jin broke it off and pulled away, “Well, fuck off. Judgmental prick!”

“Damn,” Cassie approached them, a smug looking Jacqui not far behind, “They clearer out before you two could start humping each other. That would have done numbers on social.”

Jin looked around and sure enough, his family was nowhere to be seen, running to the hills in the face of such a shameful act as two men kissing. He hadn’t even heard them scurrying off.

“Worked like a charm though,” Takeda’s face was flushed but otherwise he looked rather proud of himself, “I don’t think they’ll be bothering us anymore tonight.”

“They better not because Plan B is punching them,” Jacqui added.

“I thought Plan B was inviting them to the orgy?” Cassie asked jokingly.

“You need five people for it to be an orgy, Cass. Otherwise it’s just a four way.” Takeda told her.

“Then we invite Frost. Problem solved.” Cassie rolled her eyes dismissively.

“I’m sorry. Slow down. What the fuck just happened?” Jin interjected, bringing the conversation back on track and away from whatever brain worm tangent they were currently going down.

“Why the hell did you just kiss me?” He asked Takeda before turning his attention to the usually territorial Briggs, “And why are you cool with it?”

“It was my idea,” Jacqui shrugged, nonchalant in her response.

“We figured you’d appreciate us messing with them Kung Jin style rather than just simply telling them off,” Takeda explained, returning to his girlfriend’s side, “Sorry for springing it on you like that. Didn’t have a lot of time to warn you.”

Kung Jin looked between the two of them, trying to decide if he was violated or not, but everything felt so unreal at the moment. Because they were right. This kind of stunt is absolutely the kind of thing he would pull if the rolls were reversed and it was Takeda dealing with some bigot clan elder with Master Hasashi away. He’d absolutely start making out with Tak to prove a point. But in that alt reality they were missing one key detail.

“Aren’t you straight?” Jin asked, “Elder Gods, I leave for three months and you all lose your minds. What the hell is this? What happened to blushing virgin Takeda? Where’d that guy go?”

Takeda shrugged, “Alcohol?”

“We got your back, Jin. Got the whole thing on camera too!” Cassie interjected, sliding next to Jin to show him the footage, “Get a load of their faces! I think your mom is having an aneurysm. Lady in the back is laughing her ass off. She your sister?”

Jin watch it over and had to admit, his parent’s reactions were priceless. The horrified look of disbelief and disgust on his father’s face at the sheer boldness of the act and his mother popping blood vessels beneath her pound of makeup were gold. What was priceless though was his older sister. Her cracking up in genuine laughter, a horrid cackle that she hated but couldn’t contain when surprised with pure delight, and having to be dragged off by her fuming husband. Even before he left such things were a rarity from her. He’d have to get Cassie to send him a copy.

“Better hope this doesn’t get back to Mr. Briggs, Takahashi.” Jin chuckled, letting himself just exist in the absurdity of the whole situation, “Otherwise he’ll beat your ass for cheating on his daughter.”

“I had permission!” Takeda defended himself.

“Gods, what a slut,” Jin continued, “Jacqui, you gotta get rid of this guy. He’s no good.”

“Maybe I like bad boys,” Jacqui quipped.

“Then find someone that doesn’t panic at the thought of being two minutes late for an appointment.” Cassie fired back.

“Hey, early is on time. On time is late.” Takeda insisted.

And just like that they were right back into their usual banter, all thought of Kung Jin’s family gone from their minds. Jin’s mind would cycle back to it periodically throughout the night. How his parents were only interested in him after he accomplished great things, how they expected him to be grateful that they were letting him back in and expected him to go along with it, and how they were apparently planning to sell him off. It angered him. Enraged him. But then there was his team, willing to shotgun a plan together to help him, to back him up, no question. Even when they had no context as to what was going on. It lightens his soul to know that this rag tag group of idiots had his back no matter what; that he still had a family outside of just his uncle.

So fuck his parents. And fuck their pride. In the end, he’ll be the one really upholding the values and honor that come with the Kung name. They can rot for all he cared.

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

Yesterday episode with Gemini and Lunar 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠ho boy on one hand I agree with alot about what Gemini said about Lunar being he doesn't try to solve his problem of trama and out right avoids trying to get help for so long now the consequences of that has now put him in danger because I have a very good feeling Taurus is pretty muder but I do feel Gemini lack of truly understanding emotions also adds to the problem like saying he a child but screaming and a child will somehow fix it but after everything that happens Gemini WILL STILL try and defend Lunar to the best of their ability and I really appreciate that about them

Honestly yeah.

Gemini feels completely betrayed, and feels as if they failed Lunar.

Gemini has actually repeated a lot of analysis and words that I have said about Lunar in the public server, which could be a coincidence, but I like to think that the actors saw what I said and yoinked it for later.

Gemini is THIS upset because they are emotionally attached to Lunar. Right now, they feel like that's a mistake.

Who knows if Lunar will actually listen and take what Gemini says to heart.

Because Lunar is really childish and a complete hypocrite of a character. Earth and Lunar were having a conversation moments before on how Lunar can approach this.

Moon even told Lunar that Eclipse might approach and antagonize him and he had to be ready for that.

Lunar held a grudge over Moon for weeks because he said "Trust your family"

What does he do?

Not trust Earth. At all. And gives into his emotions and listen to Eclipse who was bullying him.

He should have shocked Eclipse to show him his place. Maybe punched him to get some feelings out....... But continuously electrocuting him until he was nothing but ash?

Honestly... in the latest TSAMS episode, Moon does exactly what Lunar should have done to work on his issues.

NewMoon isn't letting Eclipse occupy any of his time or head space cus it's not helping him. And I think Moon feels a relief that this is the big bad Eclipse he built in his head in the one year he's been alive.

Lunar thought he would be "Free" if he killed Eclipse, not true, he had to learn how to be free in the mental sense, in just... not letting Eclipse rule over his mind anymore.

It's a tragic case of Lunar had the cards stacked in his favor with people who would help and protect him, but refused them at every oppertunity.

Gemini's call out of Lunar was well deserved, and they're doing it, because they know they are too deeply emotionally invested in Lunar and care about him.

They feel hurt, and betrayed by his actions. Which they wouldn't, if they "don't feel anything" like Lunar claimed.

And judging by how Lunar reacted after they left... Who knows if he can even process or understand what Gemini tried to tell him.

Lunar just can't cope. He can't cope with anything. He has to be the victim forever cause that's all he wants to be. Am I victim blaming Lunar? Absolutely not. But he is not the only one who suffered under Eclipse. Yet he always acts like he did. With a "Oh I'm sorry, did you blow up?"

He parades his trauma like a badge of honor. That he has trauma. That he's the most traumatized so only his feelings mater above anything else that's logical or anyone else's feelings.

People compare what Lunar did to what Sun did. And while I do think Sun can offer Lunar comfort, there is a few things missing here.

Sun killed Bloodmoon because he was antagonized, but he was also thinking of self-defense. The protection of himself and his family.

Lunar.... Was not thinking about that.

Ironic that Eclipse joked he wasn't Bloodmoon and died in a very similar mater.

Eclipse taunted Lunar. But Eclipse had a chip that prevented him from hurting anyone in the family. Lunar was told this and Earth knew this.

Lunar killed Eclipse, not out of a desire to protect himself, or his family. He killed Eclipse in revenge, in hatred. In no single instant did he think how his actions would affect Earth (WHO WAS RIGHT THERE AND WAS IGNORED AND PROBABLY FEELS HORRIBLE LIKE SHE FAILED LUNAR AND THIS IS HER FAULT THIS HAPPENED.)

Lunar didn't think about Earth, Sun, Moon, Solar. He thought of NO ONE but himself and his own satisfaction.

That's the difference.

That's what makes him a child.

And that's why he needs help.

And that's why Gemini is so furious.

And I swear to god I hope Lunar can actually understand what Gemini said to him... otherwise things will just get way harder for Lunar.

[gav-san]

I won't get around to this JJK story so I'll post my idea here. Totally a rip-off of some ideas from Twilight Poem but we're here for a good time, not making high art.

Twins, one born with celestial energy, and the other twin born without anything. The celestial twin is favored in the clan until in a terrible accident a cursed spirit manages to infiltrate their clan and steals her eyes, said to hold power beyond compare.

The celestial twin is turned on, and when she and her twin discover that they can utilize cursed spirit energy together, they send the other off to become a sorcerer and find the missing eyes.

The celestial twin is mistreated by the clan and secreted into a temple where no curse can harm a human but can gain strength.

The celestial twin meets a sorcerer named Sukuna, who becomes entranced by the divine power left in her body. He returns often and eventually manages to woo the girl, especially after she heard that her entire clan has tragically died in a terrible fire caused by a rogue curse.

He takes the celestial being in as his bride but makes her promise to never touch him, and to never trust anyone but him. His assistant, Urame, often advises the lady on how to attend to her Lord husband and tells her that the Lord Sukuna cannot touch her until he has 'prepared himself' for her.

Meanwhile, the sister returns to the Clan, having become a powerful sorcerer but discovers the terrible King of Curses, Ryomen Sukuna has destroyed her clan and stolen her sister in an attempt to gain immortality.

In a tomb, she discovers the secret manuscripts of Celestial Spirits, and how curses can use them to gain power. They may be killed to gain immense, godlike power, or if they fall in love, procreate and reach ascendance, they may ascend to the celestial realm and become gods.

The sister is able to reduce her spiritual power and sneak into Sukuna's temple, where she returns the eyes to her Celestial sister and tries to tell her the truth and get her to run away with her. But the sister is in love with her husband already, and so the sister forces her to take her eyes, telling her that her husband is a cursed spirit, killed their family, and is planning on killing her. This use of curse power gets the attention of Urame.

Urame has witnessed the interaction, but believing it better for Sukuna to kill the celestial being and take her power, decides to let her see Sukuna from afar. She witnesses him as he holds court with the other feudal lord, and realizes that he is indeed a monstrous cursed spirit and not just a sorcerer who could use them.

In despair, Urame leads her to Sukuna's throne room, where the bodies of countless are stacked to create Sukuna's throne. The Celestial Twin has a breakdown.

Knowing that she'll never escape, unable to live with herself causing the deaths of her family, and being unaware of Sukuna's true nature, she ends her life.

Her sister manages to take the body and burn it, so no other can use the power within. She also ends up unlocking immense power and helps contrive a plot to take down the King of Curses.

...

1,000 years later, two twins are born into a powerful clan. One is born with celestial energy, and the other twin is born without anything. They both work at their alma mater, Jujitsu High, only to stumble upon a young man who decided to eat a certain finger.

[roe-and-memory]

headcanons

hi tumblr ihave like three headcanons to share currently (there will be more soon i just need to see how well theyre taken, do we like headcanons on here??)

(based off of him not having headlights but how i perceive it humanized even though racecars cant have headlights in Real Life) lightning has light sensitivity issues with his vision . he cannot see. the sun is too bright sometimes and if its dark he will trip over one of the floorboards in docs house, no matter how many times hes walked this floor. (hes very prone to tripping Always but it just gets worse when its dark) (he has rips in the knees of every single pair of jeans he owns)

docs old sunglasses have his name lasered into the arm, lightning found them basically untouched in a box in docs garage. he pulls them out and starts using them when its too bright outside and doc has learned to just hand them over whenever lightning shows up like

2. lightning just. doesnt sleep ?? he is 100% an insomniac and his nightmares are to blame. he would rather work himself to exhaustion than willingly sleep at a normal time. cue him spending most nights out in the fields or at the junkyard with mater building things or whatever until mater is the one to be like ok im tired im going to bed and lightning is forced to go back home, climb back through his bedroom window, and stare at the ceiling until he passes out. he hates sleeping because every night, without fail, he has nightmares. vivid nightmares about whatever his brain can think of, and when he does sleep hes basically fighting his sheets for five hours because of these nightmares, and then he wakes up early and goes about his day as if he wasn't at war with literal demons 20 minutes ago.

doc knows about these nightmares, of course he does, he's a light sleeper and lightnings room is just across the hall, he's also completely aware that the kid sneaks out the window every night because, although lightning is quiet around the house, he is not too graceful when hes attempting to climb out the window -- he's fallen into the bush beneath it countless times.

because of this, doc has tried everything to help him with the nightmare issue, from melatonin to getting him to just write down whatever he was dreaming about to show himself it wasnt real, and absolutely none of it worked. in fact, melatonin seemed to make it worse, and doc gave up there.

3. doc wears a silver "wedding" band. he's not married, in fact he's never been interested in having a partner or getting married at all (i dub thee aroace) but when he was younger he was certainly eye candy for girls at the racetrack and they fawned over him like nobodies business. he comes up with the great idea to get a silver ring and lie, he makes up some tragic backstory to tell whenever a woman asks him why he has a ring or who the lucky person is, and it makes them back of pretty quickly. in reality, the ring is made from a small wheel bearing, and smokey made it for him when he asked because he thought it was funny as hell and was like yes sure but pls make it sound ridiculous . and dont ever tell the same story twice. confuse them.

word gets around and he's told multiple different stories so everyone is confused, but if someone questions him he just gives them a Look and they shut up about it.

even after his crash and his inevitable leave from the piston cup and thomasville, along with his change of address, he continued to wear the ring just in case he got recognized or something.. (it was for aesthetic reasons, he loves that ring its just his signature thing now)

ok... thats it for now, is this how things get formatted here??? do we Like this???

[kintatsujo]

one last note about it bc I was talking about my tragic backstory today

it is like. such a fucking pain trying to connect to people your own age when the first 17 years of your life were wrapped up in trauma, even in your 30s

people are like "oh yeah my alma mater was such and such and I ran track in high school" and you're like "that's awesome, I have nothing on that score I'd like to share with you at this juncture, maybe if we got to level 5 friends"

and they're like "how are we supposed to level friendship if you won't share anything about yourself"

I don't fucking know, ask me about my fucking cat or something

[guillemelgat]

Hey hello I made a thing! As perhaps a few of you know, I have spent the last half a year being completely unhinged about Patrick O’Brian’s Aubrey-Maturin books, and I’ve always been particularly interested in the character Stephen Maturin and his relationship to Catalonia. I saw that there was a lack of stuff about this part of his identity, and, being me, I felt the need to fill it in the only way I could: compiling music and yelling about it for thirty pages. Hence this playlist.

You really don’t need to know anything about these books to listen to this playlist. You also don’t need to know anything about Catalan (I hope). Catalonia and the Catalan Countries in general (including Valencia, the Balearic Islands, and parts of southern France, Aragon, and Sardinia) have a really interesting musical and literary tradition, and I wanted to make that more accessible, so I put together a few songs I liked, translated them, and wrote a bit about each of their significance, including the most important cultural tidbits I could. Some things don’t translate super well, and I hope my Catalan followers will forgive me for trying to adapt them more for English-speaking audiences than perhaps would be preferable; I usually don’t choose to do that, but in this case I wanted to open the door, and not to intimidate people.

Now that that’s out of the way, here is a link to the PDF of the liner notes (graphic design is my passion, as they say): https://drive.google.com/file/d/1MUpRM84W8aypznEIrt0eA1jG5OxaRZvz/view?usp=sharing

Under the cut I’ve included the ephimera and unnecessary commentary that you know and love, feel free to read or ignore it as you will

These roughly follow the order of the songs and are varying levels of seriousness

If you like "Sant Joan, feu-lo ben gran" then I'd highly recommend listening to the whole Tornaveus album. I almost included the “Stabat Mater de Sudanell” and the “Goigs de Sant Julià de Lòria”, which are both from western Catalonia, and they also have more cançons de pandero, in perhaps a slightly more traditional style. A lot of the other songs have interesting cultural commentary in them, especially on feminist topics, and they’re very well-researched because literally one of the members of the group is basically the ethnomusicologist of Catalan music at the moment. Anyways, if people would like the liner notes perhaps next time I’m home I’ll scan them, they’re in Catalan and English and very well-written. Also note the legendary Lluís Llach song which has been turned into a polyphonic piece lol (and I did not include the “Goigs de la Nostra Senyora de la Llibertat” but tbh that might have been a mistake on my part) (Blorbo side note that I think this fits Stephen’s childhood very well which is mostly why I chose it)

“L’Hereu Riera” is one of my favorite Catalan folk songs I love it so much and if you want to hear the Catalan version (as opposed to the Valencian one included here) and see the dance and also see a cobla, I am including a link to this version by Germà Negre which is tragically not on Spotify. I chose the Valencian one because (1) Al Tall and (2) I think it fits The Blorbo better (specifically I was thinking of his fiancée who dies before Book One who idk if anyone ever remembers shdjfhskf). That being said, Stephen would probably know the Catalan one (and almost certainly not the Valencian one). Also, on a memey-er note, Hereu Riera bisexual king and literal icon <3 love how he has to remind his girlfriend on her deathbed that actually he'd technically be interested in both her sisters AND her brothers if he wasn't so into her that he never wanted to marry anyone else

I literally did put in Roger Mas just so there would be at least one person with a Lleidan accent, #diversity win

Many points about the “Cançó de pandero de l’Urgell” and “Jo no canto per la veu” so here we go:

I put these two songs in mostly because I got very obsessed with the cançó de pandero from Alcarràs (which is a great movie that came out last year about a farming family in a village near Lleida that is winning all the awards atm). Anyways, since Carla Simón has been too busy winning things to put up the gotdam soundtrack, I did a bit of digging and it turns out that it was written for the movie?? By her brother??? It's excellent and very anticapitalist and you can listen to it here and see the trailer for Alcarràs all in one! (Includes English subtitles)

The original “Canto per un amic meu que per mi daria la vida” is probably from a Valencian cant de batre, although I could not get any confirmation on that. But regardless everyone should listen to Pep Botifarra's version of it, which I would literally marry if it had a physical form it’s so so good. (I posted it here back in ye olden days but it's been long enough I think I can post it again)

Valencian music side note because I can’t stop myself: the second pair of verses in the "Cançó de pandero de l'Urgell" (starting with “vos esteu ben acotxada…”) are sung by Miquel Gil, who is a very famous Valencian traditional singer, anyways you should listen to this version of him singing “Del Sud” by Obrint Pas (you want to go down a Valencian music rabbit hole so so bad)

I firmly believe that Stephen would canonically be obsessed with Ausiàs March, and the fact that he has not yet recited any of his poems is Patrick O’Brian’s biggest failing in my eyes. Anyways I have more thoughts but I’m saving them for other posts shdfjsd

If you read this before listening to the playlist please just listen to "El testament d'Amèlia" and follow along with the lyrics in real time before reading the blurb, it's such a good experience to let that song hit you as it comes. I won't say more than that but you'll get it when you get it. (Also obligatory listen to Marala they're so good <3)

From the Càntut album, I also quite like the songs "El pomeró" and "El divino vull cantar", and Càntut in general is an incredible resource, it's a database of folk song field recordings from northeastern Catalonia.

Brief pause to scream about the fact that Maria Arnal and Marcel Bagés WERE ON NPR??? AND NO ONE TOLD ME???? Anyways link in the sources section, also they're great and you should listen to their whole discography

As the #1 Roba Estesa stan blog on Tumblr, listen to Roba Estesa. And Ebri Knight. And El Diluvi.

I chose this version of "La presó de Lleida" because I like it but here's a more traditional one sung by Joan Manel Serrat, another Catalan legend. Here's another one in Catalan rumba style with Sílvia Pérez Cruz singing, the sound is a bit wonky but it's also one of my favorites. The Valencian version of this song is called "La presó de Tibi" and El Diluvi have done a very explicitly anti-monarchical rendition of it (the Balearic one is "La presó de Nàpols").

I'm sorry for never putting the Sílvia Pérez Cruz version of "Corrandes d'exili" but if you want it here it is. Also note that the statue of the Virgin in the poem is a reference to the Virgin of Montserrat, it literally all goes back to her shfjkshdf (also apologies for being very bad at Christianity and Catholicism, if I mistranslated things let me know)

HOO BOY SARDANA TIME

Okay so I have a whole essay to deliver on this that I've been holding inside for the past like two months or so, I apologize in advance for my excessive pedantry on the topic.

In Master and Commander, Stephen delivers this speech:

"‘Then I must tell you that on Sunday mornings it is the custom, in that country, for people of all ages and conditions to dance, on coming out of church: so I was dancing with Ramon Mateu i Cadafalch in the square before the cathedral church of Tarragona, where I had gone to hear the Palestrina Missa Brevis. The dance is a particular dance, a round called the sardana.’"

I hate to be a hater but it is very, very unlikely that anyone would have been dancing a sardana as far south as Tarragona in this time period. The sardana as the symbol of equality and brotherhood emerged in the Renaixença and would not yet have been a thing; Stephen could well have heard sardanas in Ullastret, but they would have been a more typical folk dance, and not anything like the way they're described in the book. It's very ironic, then, that they've become THE Catalan music style for Aubreyad readers, but hopefully this playlist can change that a bit :)

(also sorry for being a sardana-hater on main, someone bring me to dance a sardana and maybe I'll feel better)

Songs that didn't make the cut: La cançó del lladre, Rossinyol que vas a França, La balanguera, La gavina - I'm always happy for more recs!

Originally, this list was also going to include songs in Irish; I quickly realized that I was in over my head with that one, but the working list of songs is here (may be subject to changes so save songs elsewhere if you like them!). Also I would add "Fé Bhláth" by Imelda May and Kíla if it was on Spotify but alas it is not; and "Amhrán na Leabhar" which I have not had time to add but was kindly recommended by someone. I'd love it if someone was interested in actually doing a proper playlist for Irish though—it's a gap in my knowledge that I'd love to start filling.

Aaaaaaand that's a wrap. I hope. Final comment to say thank you to everyone who voted in the cover image poll, turns out you all won :) (Pirineus did win and take the cover of the liner notes though)

[badass-at-fandoming]

New World of Darkness Tabletop Books!

On June 9, 2023, Renegade Con hosted a "Stream of Darkness" as part of Renegade Con: Summer Special Edition. Jason Carl interviewed producer Kevin Schluter about upcoming World of Darkness books. Please everyone join me in the internal screaming.

The whole stream was uploaded to Youtube here.

The tl:dr: Vampire Player's Guide has soft updates, Thin-Blood Alchemy and Blood Sorcery grimoire (!!!!), Tabletop supplement on how to incorporate romance into Vampire (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), Hunters Dark Academia supplement (???), Official Werewolf Dice

Vampire: the Masquerade - Player's Guide

Includes all Clan info and mechanics in one book

Revamps (lol) some Disciplines like Presence and Animalism

Provides alternate Clan Banes

Order here

Vampire: the Masquerade - Blood Sigils

Provides new Blood Sorcery and Thin-Blood Alchemy Powers and Rituals

Provides story hooks to center magic in the chronicle

Pre-order here; should be available in Q4

Hunter: the Reckoning - Lines Drawn in Blood

Four new Story Hooks

They can be linked into one chronicle or played as separate scenarios

Previously mentioned in Renegade Con in March 2023 here

Order here

Vampire: the Masquerade - Bloodstained Love

For Players and Storytellers to add, escalate, deescalate, and/or turn tragic romance in Vampire

Provides 6 romancable Storyteller Characters with a variety of genders. Schluter mentioned the cast has she/her, he/him, they/them (singular), and they/them (plural) pronouns

Lots of emphasis put on consent, safety, respect, and comfort of players and Storyteller

Adds new Merits and Flaws, like "Up All Night" which temporarily raises a character's Humanity (dunno how I feel about that)

Adds New Discipline Powers, like "Wingman," which temporarily projects Presence powers to another person

Adds new romantic Blood Sorcery Ritual and Oblivion Ceremony (???)

Suggests off-table play techniques like writing love letters

Pre-order here; expected Q4 release

Hunter: the Reckoning - Alma Maters

Provides 4 large stories hooks set in academic situations around the world. Not necessarily a university! Trade schools, online etc too

Includes research resources and Antagonists. There's an emphasis on investigation, not violence

New player options that lean into an academic background

Ivy League of Darkness lol

Pre-order here; expected Q4 release

Werewolf: the Apocalypse Official Dice Set

Dice make brain go brrrr

Order here

Werewolf: the Apocalypse, Fifth Edition - Core Rulebook is coming! You can pre-order and download a PDF of free sneak peeks here. Carol and Schluter talked about Pack roles and filled out a character sheet during the stream.

Anyway,

[kingsanddragonsandgods]

TRQ:

Had an idea for Alicent’s storyline. Hopefully you like it.

So Otto summons his daughter, Alicent, to court after Aemma’s death in the hope’s of her catching the King’s eye and becoming the next Queen. Daemon, who hates Otto, decides it would be fun to “pursue” Alicent in order to piss Otto off (think of how Henry VII initially harassed and pursued Anne Boleyn. You can’t really say no to a member of the royal family).

Based on the wiki for Visenya, she’s already been spending time with Viserys and has ambitions to be the next Queen. I imagine Visenya already has a few allies in court, namely the Master of Laws: Lyonel Strong. Wanting to spare Alicent from her father and also wanting to get rid of any competition for Viserys, she arranges for Alicent to wed Lyonel’s heir: Harwin Strong.

Initially this is a good match. Harwin is the son of the Master of Laws, heir to Harrenhal, and a captain of the City Watch and Alicent is the daughter of the Lord Hand and only girl born into House Hightower. They get along well and have a few children together. Everything is fine until Harwin begins having an affair with the Princess Rhaenyra and even siring her bastards. To make maters worse, he’s not subtle at all. He publicly cares for his children by Rhaenyra and the whole affair is obvious and public knowledge to everyone except the King. (On top of all this, Alicent also has to deal with her creepy brother-in-law making passes at her).

After Lyonel and Harwin’s death, Alicent leaves court and rules as regent of Harenhal for her son. Spending her days caring for her lands and children and ensuring they have a good education and making good matches for her children. When Queen Visenya approaches in search of allies, Alicent agrees in order to take revenge against the humiliation her former husband made her endure. (Plus, it drives home the tragic civil war “brother vs brother” angle because Alicent’s children by Harwin and Rhaenyra’s children by Harwin are literally half-siblings).

After the war, Alicent gladly steps down from her position since her son is now old enough to govern on his own. She re-marries again, this time to a man of her own choosing who loves her and respects her

SOo, you are almost spot-on on what I plan to her. Finally someone said Harwin.

Alicent has been in KL for a while, she was Jaehaerys handmaid, more or so following the book. She has an affair with Daemon, because he is hot, and she believes in love and fairytales, she is young. She does sleep with Viserys following the death of Aemma (I am going with the slanderous version of book alicent here) but he choose Visenya for wife (she is Targaryen, blood of old Valyria, a dragonrider, his brother's daughter, from a wealth house from the Vale etc. a far better deal than the daughter of a second son).

Visenya forces Alicent to take Moontea, because she wont give Otto Hightower a weapon, even if an illegitimate one, and she does arrange her marriage to Ser Harwin Strong, a former suitor of Visenya's, a handsome knight, kind, heir to a large castle and fertile lands, wealth(more than most daughters of second sons would get), and she is the soon to be queen, so it is in her powers to arrange marriages(hey there,Good Queen Alysanne). It is a good marriage politicaly and it is a good match for them for a couple of years, lets say they have eight or ten good years. But Harwin still has a foundness for silver-gold hair, and Rhaenyra has grown up, and she is a mix of book and show Rhaenyra, and I am going with the book version that she fucks Harwin instead of Criston.

Harwin is Lord Commander of the City Watch, Alicent is one of Visenya's Ladies of Honour, their sons (because Harwin and Alicent are totally having only boys in my head) are the Queen's sons companions/playmates. Visenya is giggly once Rhaneyra starts to have Strong looking children, she def keep Alicent's boys in high positions at court as they grow, where everyone can see the resemblance.

Lyonel would be less likely to play blind in this case, because he has legitimate grandsons whose lives are threatned by Harwin's and Rhaenyra's actions (he also gets along with Alicent, she is a good good-daughter).

Joffrey's birth is the point where Alicent is done, she takes her youngest children and goes to Hightower. Driftmark happens, and Harwin is still following Rhaenyra around (in the book he dies only after Laenor, and he goes with the family to Dragosntone); he is not a bad dad to his legitimate children, but everything added together creates ressentment and a deeply hatred towards the Black's.

After Visenya's son loses an eye, and Rhaenyra's sons are accused of bastardy, that's when Viserys send away Ser Harwin. The fire is misterious, it has nothing to do with Visenya. Alicent become widow, she prefers life at court, and now Harwin is death and Rhaenyra is in Dragonstone, her humiliation is over, her father is once again Hand and her eldest son is Lord of Harrenhal.

I am unsure if before or after the war, but she eventually marries Visenya's half-brother Orys, he is a legitimated bastard, Viserys made him a lord, Rhea gave him lands, he has a seat in the Small Council, he is a self-made man, he is handsome and cunning and kind, and their marriage is not to have more children, since both have their share of offspring from a previous marriage. Is a love match that is politicaly good. After the war he takes her to see the world beyond Westeros.

[bonesandthebees]

Also, while I’m here, I might as well scream about Rose!Wilbur because I’, losing my mind about him. He’s such a tragic character. Truly doomed by the narrative. Because no mater what he does, it’s always the wrong decision. He loses no matter what he does. He takes the smallest step in any direction and he immediately loses ground on every other relationship he has.

He lies to Niki because his father asks him to and it almost immediately strains their relationship. He keeps his meeting with Quackity a secret, he gains ground there, but Niki has also been invited and now knows he did not tell her about it. He lost trust again. And Phil also somehow found out and now he’s getting all the disappointment (not to mention the paranoia I’m sure he’s going to develop because he tried so hard but he literally can’t hide anything from his father).

And he’s always doomed to pick between his best friend, the man he loves and his future little brother who will give him unlimited power if he plays his cards right. There is no winning. No matter what he chooses, he loses two people. He can play the game, but he can never win because the entire thing is rigged so he can never have what he truly wants. He can never have it all. He can’t have his father’s approval and have Niki on the throne and stay friends with Quackity. He can’t win and I’m already losing my mind about it.

-🎄

oh you haven't even gotten to the proper tragedy part of rose!wilbur's character yet... there's actually so many tragic characters in rose it's going to be a time

there really is nothing wilbur can do right in this situation, but at the same time isn't that how it works? in politics like these, there is no right decision. no matter which direction you go, someone else is going to get hurt. these games hurt everyone involved because that's what a lust for power does. it hurts everyone who reaches for it.

this isn't a spoiler because like you said it's already designed into the narrative. wilbur isn't going to get a perfect win in this. he can't have everything. no matter what, he's going to lose a relationship with someone, if not more than one person. the game was rigged against him from the start

[herri-writes]

In This Eternity

Mika Kagehira x Reader (!!)

Note: Pls this idea stayed in my brain occasionally. (Long ass writer's note and fic incoming) Idk but i put some slight spoilers from Sprout * Waning Hermitage. I cannot unthink of how beautiful this is-- INCLUDING THE CARD ARTS I AM IN LOVE. RABU~I It's been a while since I last wrote a songfic. Never thought I'll be able to write one using an enstars song— especially Acanthe. I am bawling with crocodile tears here. Not to mention, the whole song is the whole goddamn base of this fic. It's an absolute mess because of my writer's block but Mika— MIKA— made me continue to write this. I used the english translation from the wiki and being creative by using it to give meaning to the fic. I will cry once the trans at en live will show up and not accept it. Warning: Messy writing. I'm fighting writer's block like how I fought my life.

It was sundown at Sky Garden. You are taking a small breather because of certain twins who saw you working hard as usual but caught you slowly blinking the minute away. Somehow, they brought you all the way here to Sky Garden and left you out there, all alone because of the Deputy Director summoned them for work reasons. You sighed. They were right. You are overworking yourself to the bone again. You were completely glad that someone who studied in the same Alma mater was there to help you. You remembered Valkyrie's previous live. Your words got caught in your throat the moment they performed. Of course, it was different from their rehearsals but the actual performance blew you away— like a kiss that will inspire your heart in this eternity. The song is so heart wrenching and yet, it touched you and held you, like these arms that will embrace you tightly in this eternity. And yet, their art is like a museum, their hermitage. A doll, who was able to dance freely with no strings attached, blew your heart and kissed you, in this eternity— You shook your head when your mind wandered and saw a pair of heterochromic eyes in your vision. You slapped your cheeks to remove those eyes in your mind. Sure, he was once a doll but he was given life by his own creator. He was more human in his performance, not like a marionette who was lifeless and controlled. It was such a sight to see that he was accepted as an artist by his own master, who was now his equal. Their past performances are artistic and yet your gaze remained to him, who was once a marionette at his own movements, was now a human. And that marionette, is Mika Kagehira, the novice artist. You spent days wondering how were you able to take a liking at this young artist, who graduated from a doll to his master's equal. It was always like this since the day your eyes stared at his heterochromic ones. Amber and sapphire gemstones sparkling beautifully under the ever-changing sky. Whether it's night or day, its always a wonderful sight for you to look upon. You sighed once again. You always knew that ever since the day you began to produce for Valkyrie. As someone who is always busy like Anzu back in the previous year as a producer in the Idol Course, you were able to understand what Valkyrie is like— from the past to the present. You stood up and began to dance, just like how Mika had done at Hermitage. You were amazed on how he interpreted the way on how the doll came to life. You remembered how Mika told you once that he was possessed by the doll. You couldn't believe that it actually happened and yet, it made you think that it was how Mika was able to adapt to his former self as a member of ex-Valkyrie and act the way he is as a member of Valkyrie in the present in his dance. While being perished in this longing and illusion You placed your hands on your chest and turned, as if your embracing the loneliness in your heart and hummed. While anticipating this sleeping Hermitage Graceful and beautiful, yet tragic and heart wrenching as it ended with a happy ending. That's how you describe Acanthe. Valkyrie's Acanthe. Someday, your heart will blow and you'll kiss me In this eternity

"Ngh... Sis Mado! Where are ya?" A voice called out from behind the building. "Sis Mado— Hm?" He stopped from the corner of the building and listened closely. His heterochromic eyes widen as he saw you singing and dancing Acanthe. Holding on to these rusted, broken, and lonely feelings Getting close to this person in Hermitage His jaw dropped. He rubbed his eyes and thought if his eyes are creating illusions. 'Am I seein' things or 's it (Name) dancin' to ma part of the song?' He shook his head and look around to see if the little doll is within the vicinity. To his surprise, she was sitting on one of the benches near you. 'Good. She's here.' He sighed in relief. 'But how did Sis Mado got here? Someone must've took her. Was it (Name)?' He shook his head at his own question. 'No, t'was nearly impossible for (Name) to bring Sis Mado here...' "Someday, these arms will embrace me tightly..." He heard you all too well. "In this eternity..." His heart softened as you hit the notes all too perfectly that he sang along. He woke up from his short reverie when he heard her voice. "My, (Name), your voice sounded so lovely. It was pleasant to the ears, just like what Mika told me before." Madmoiselle commented at the performance you just did. Well, Mika couldn't lie when he heard you sang once. He was stunned when he first heard you sing back then when he waited for you in Valkyrie's practice room. He always saw you always talk and work that he began to wonder if you can sing or dance. And this was the second time he saw you did both. "Thank you very much—" You paused for a moment. That familiar voice made you turn around and you couldn't believe your eyes. Your eyes look down to the bench and see the petite little doll on it in a blue dress, pairing it with a blue ribbon tied on its signature blonde curly hair.  "Ma-Madmoiselle?! How did you get here? Since when did you get here?" The doll chuckled, "I asked for a little help from someone and I was already here when you started singing." You walked closer to the doll and lowered yourself to her level. You curiously asked her, "A little help...?" You tilted your head a little. She answered, "Shu once heard you sang so he wanted me to see you and hear you sing." "He perhaps brought you here to know that I'm bad at singing." "Of course not. He was amazed that he heard you sang. Not to mention, your actions, pose, everything, is all a work of art, he said." You blushed at Madmoiselle's words. You felt like you're crazy because you're talking to a doll that Valkyrie rubbed a lot on you. It became a thing since last year, of course. You made an eye contact to the doll and exhaled in defeat. You were pretty sure that all of this is a coincidence— starting from the moment the Aoi twins took you out here for a break and Shu bringing Madmoiselle here and left her on the bench near you to hear you sing. What's next? Mika hiding from me behind the trees or behind the building? Your eyes widen at the thought. You thought if someone from Valkyrie is here that you stood up and sat beside Madmoiselle. "(Name), I may be a doll but I can tell you anything that you need to know." Madmoiselle said and you nodded. "What did Mika say about me?" You asked her and she answered, "Mika always describe you as hardworking producer. Sometimes he thought if you made a competition with Anzu here. He often told me that you're creative when he saw you that you can design clothes so well. He thought if he could bring your designs to Shu but you always hid your works in your bag the moment he saw you draw your sketches." "I—" You were absolutely stunned. 'Sis Mado?!' Mika froze on his spot and covered his mouth to prevent any noises to come out of him. He doesn't want his cover to be blown and get caught by you and Madmoiselle. He didn't expect that she'll tell the things that Mika told her and pass it on to you. "Mika may be a curious one and all but he has a lot to learn for himself. He never wanted to depend on Shu and learned to become independent for himself." The doll continued. Ah, right. He was like that when he thought of designing an exclusive outfit form himself when it was his turn to be given one. You smiled at his reactions when you saw him at the clothing gallery to sketch his designs. "I thought so, too." Mika heard everything and nearly fainted at your response. "Sis Mado... Ya don't even need to say anythin'..." You exhaled and looked at the doll and asked, "Madmoiselle, would you mind if I continue to sing. I felt comfortable singing in front of someone now." 'Or something...' The doll answered, "Of course." You cleared your throat and continued to sing. Reminiscent of this lingering fragrance of warmth You stood up from the bench and continued to dance. This time, it was Shu's part of the performance. Mika's eyes opened wide in surprise. 'She knew Teach's part?! Amazing...!' Once upon a time, this love was decorated with scars And they are the proof that we have transcended time itself "I shall never forget you even if you disappear..." Mika was so close on revealing himself from hiding and singing alongside you. He resisted but gave up as he snapped out of his thoughts to hide and revealed himself. Luckily, your back is facing the bench where Mika is so he took it as his chance to skip his way closer to you. Mika stepped closer towards you and danced alongside you. You were so immersed to the song that you didn't notice he was there just now. The singing voice is about to fade away Mika appreciated your voice ever since the day he heard you sing, the day he saw you danced, and the day he saw you create art. It was completely rare for someone like you who has hidden talent, could attract a young artist like him. Even if many times these feelings get lost He was glad that he performed alongside you, even if you didn't notice that he was here just now. Give in this spring, we shall repeat this love again You could feel the song as if it embraced you. You were right, it embraced you, like a person in a hermitage. It's as if the song carried your soul away and made you less distracted to your surroundings as if you didn't care who or what was around you. "With a kiss that will inspire your heart..." He held out his hand, as if to reach you. He smiled as you did the same. Your eyes widen when you took a glance beside you. His amber and lapis-like eyes glanced back in a moment to your own. They were beautiful, indeed. Your mind began to panic as he looked at you with such loving gaze with a genuine smile. "...in this eternity..." Your voice was caught in your throat that you heard him sing. You weren't dreaming. This is not a hallucination after an adrenaline rush, not an hallucination from overworking, and not an illusion or not a see-through item like glass. 'Mika?! The Mika Kagehira?! Of Valkyrie?! Oh, God... He's really here?!' You mentally panicked that you froze on the spot, mouth agape, and eyes open wide. "Hm? (Name)? Are ya alright?" Mika tilted his head in confusion. He checked to see if you're alright by poking your cheek and blood rushed up to your cheeks, giving out a pure blush, which was either out of pure embarrassment that someone saw you dance and heard you sing or you being flustered that the young idol you admire from afar is here and witnessed almost everything. Mika stepped back, surprised on what he saw. 'Move, you dummy! You always met him at Yumenosaki! Act normally!' You internally screamed to yourself but you couldn't move. "Ngh... Earth to (Name)? Ya okay?" Mika waved his hand in front of your eyes and looked closer. "She looks like a doll right now..." Mika said his thought out loud. He saw you slowly blink, once then quick at the second and twice and you're awake. "Good evening, Kagehira..." You uttered. You saw him staring into your eyes and you stared back as he greeted you back. "Good evenin', (Name)." Your eyes couldn't leave this staring contest that you were so sure that moment you were finally awake from the unknown reverie you felt after you felt your heart skipped a beat. You were finally back to your sensed that you stood up properly after the sudden awkward tension you felt between you two. You cleared your throat and asked him, "What brings you here at this time of hour?" "Ah, right. Teach asked me to look for Sis Mado because he might've misplaced her somewhere." Mika explained everything what happened and you nodded. He turn around to see Madmoiselle sitting on the bench and said, "Well, it seems I found her so I'll bring her back to Starmony Dorm." You look to where Madmoiselle is as Mika took her and gently carried her in his arm. "It's nice spending time with you even if it's a little, (Name)." She said sadly. "Likewise, Madmoiselle." You sadly replied. You look up to face Mika and excused yourself to leave since it was getting dark and you have to return back to the building. As Mika saw your figure disappearing into the distance, he held out his hand to reach you but failed when you're too far away from him. His smiling expression faltered into a gloomy one. Madmoiselle noticed this and decided to tell him everything what had happened today to Shu. Little the three of you know that someone was watching from the distance and witness everything that is being unfolded. As if the curtain had closed a moment ago, they had left the vicinity and returned to the dorm without making any noise or being seen by anyone close by.

The next day, you're in ES's clothing room and you're spending the day planning for the add-ons for the design for the next exclusive outfit while listening to Acanthe for the nth time of the day on repeat. You were relieved that no one here is interrupting you. You look around to see if anyone else is in the room and you sighed in relief. Satisfied and undisturbed, you began to hum the song while the melody is playing at your earphones. You forgot that the door is half-open that you saw a mop of dark green hair entering the room the moment you glanced. You ignored it and continued to hum. "Someday, your heart will blow and you will kiss me..." You were drowned in thoughts as the melody continued to clear your mind that you didn't notice someone was sitting on the chair near you. You look up to see who it was and the music stopped as you remove your earphones. It's as if he knew where you stopped singing, he continued it for you. "...in this eternity..." He looked at you the same way he looked at you last night in Sky Garden. He never failed to make your heart flutter once again with that innocent, child-like smile, those heterochromic eyes that somehow represents day and night, that dark green hair that you once saw it as black from afar but it revealed as a dark, burnt, emerald when close. "(Name), yer starin' again. 'S there somethin' in my face?" His words make you awake from your trance. You realized the close proximity you two had and the gentle warmth you felt on your forehead. It's so warm that you felt like sleeping and leaning on his touch. 'Was he always here whenever I sing that song...?' "I heard from Naru that yer overworkin' to the bone again. Ya really need to rest. Yer a human ya know?" Mika said with concern. He was stunned when he felt you leaning on to his hand that was on your forehead and fall forwards to the table. Luckily, he stopped you from falling to not to hit your head on the hard table. What's worse for you is that there are pens and pencils on it. His eyes laid down on your sketchpad but shook his head. '(Name's) priority comes first. Teach will be mad if he saw them like this again. Sis Mado will be worried...' "Ngh..." He groaned out of fear and worry. He carried you in his arms and headed towards the couch and placed you there, gently and carefully. Mika worried looked at you when he remembered himself, his past self and that made him worry even more. "Yer better rest (Name)." He quietly whispered, a volume that only he and you could hear. "Yer a producer. Everyone's rooting for ya. Ya don't need to overwork yerself." He inched closer to see if you're fully rested and you were. He stayed there and watched you sleep peacefully. He wants to whisper to you a lot of things but he couldn't say it. He loves you but he couldn't say it. It pained him and he knew that all too well. He knows that his emotions control him but couldn't do so anymore because of his days as a doll. Now that he is not, he still couldn't control it even it was an accident. Then, he gave up. "(Name)..." He whispered your name. "What if I tell ya that I like ya...?" He shook his head once again. He knew all too well that you're sound asleep and knows that you couldn't hear him. He ate a candy until he felt himself drifting off to sleep. Wave of exhaustion washed over him these past days. He is working hard for Valkyrie, of course. Your eyes fluttered open as you let out a low hum and try to remember where you were right now. The moment you saw his face right in front of you, you blinked once, and twice. Alarmed at the proximity between you and him, you yelped, which made the male jolt up from his sleep and fall back to the floor and hurt his back. "My apologies, Kagehira. Are you alright?" You immediately rise up and rushed to the male who was on the floor. You checked if he was hurt elsewhere until you heard him chuckle. You saw him smile as he scratched his cheek. "I'm fine. Nothin' to worry." You exhaled in relief. "Thank goodness..." You began to wonder why is he here and not with Shu and Madmoiselle. You checked the time at the clock facepalmed yourself. They left Japan minutes ago. "Right... Teach told me to check on ya once I return to ES after he left for his flight to France." Mika look away with a faint blush shown on his face. "The moment I got here, ya spaced out and sing the same song from last night. Ya really liked it, don't ya?" You nodded at his question. The same awkward tension you felt before is back again. You stood up and let out your hand. He accepted it and helped him to stand up. As he was finally standing on his own two feet, you told him to sit down and you apologized for scaring him. "Hm? It's okay. I was the one who supposed to be apologizin' here..." He said as he scratched the back of his neck. You leaned back to the couch and exhaled. You were exhausted and barely had enough rest these past few days. The only time you could relax is to be alone and to sing your heart out. Mika heard your sigh looked at you. He remembered something to make you sleep, as what Madmoiselle, Ritsu, and Arashi had told him before. "Don't tell me ya can't sleep well, (Name)?" Mika asked and you nodded. "Would ya mind if I sing for ya?" "I wouldn't mind..." Your words ended with a small yawn. He smiled and began to hum. 'Ah, it's the same song again...' You thought and you felt him pulling closer to you gently. He guided your head to lean on his shoulder and rubbed your arm with his hand as he lulled you to sleep. His voice may be melancholic, but it was gentle as light, giving its way in the dark. You were so sure that you heard someone whispering to you when you fell asleep a moment ago. You disregarded it and you muttered it out, as if to respond to that mystery person's question. "What if... I tell you that... I like Kagehira...?" Mika stopped his humming as he heard you said those words. It was too coherent that it caught his attention. He blinked twice. He was so sure he heard his name. He held you tight, but not too tight that will make you awake. Pink covered his cheeks and red began to spread all over. He covered his mouth to hide that goofy smile on his face. It was completely written as "(Name) like me? Did I heard that right?"

He began to remember your previous conversation with Madmoiselle back at Yumenosaki, when you visited the Handicrafts Club room. "He was able to express other human emotions that a doll couldn't have. One time, he was thankful that he was able to feel an another human emotion, other than pain, guilt, anger, and joy, and it's all because of you." Madmoiselle told you as you placed the decorations on the table. "Because of me? How?" You tilted your head as you asked her. "Because you are more human than you think." She answered. "Well, I am indeed a human." You replied. "I'm not a human if I don't feel any emotion." "That's what Tsumugi told Mika back then." She giggled and you nervously chuckled. 'What kind of doll is she...?' You sat down on one of the chairs near Madmoiselle and sighed. "Says the one who has a human knowledge..." Mika didn't mean to eavesdrop on you and Madmoiselle. He overheard her saying his name that he leaned closer to the door and listened closely. "Say, (Name), do you have hidden feelings towards Mika?" Mika nearly slammed the door open but abstained himself from doing so. "N-No...? Why?" You hesitantly answered. "Don't say that. I know you have that. You always look at him differently from others when you're doing your work as a producer here in Yumenosaki." She said. Mika internally panicked and leaned on the wall. 'I did tell her that...!' He heard you sigh. "Alright. You got me. I did have feelings towards him. I like Mika." You paused for a moment and remembered a rule that existed in the idol industry. "But idols and producers can't be together. It'll be better if I disregard these feelings and move on." You're right, even Mika just remembered that rule. "You can tell him that you do like him as (Name), not the you as a producer." Madmoiselle told you and you felt like falling from a cliff or burying yourself alive six feet under the ground. "It's unhealthy for someone to hide their own personal feelings and prevent it from overflowing— unless if they knew how to control it or preventing it from doing so. But in your case, you couldn't." You began to sulk because a doll told you that. A doll, a doll that has unknown human knowledge and it seemed like it was based on written literature that can be found anywhere in the world, a doll that was given great love and care, and a doll that was owned by an artist named Shu Itsuki. You sighed in defeat. Mika on the other hand, sunk down to his knees and felt like screaming his heart out. That was the day that he knew you felt the same. His mind wandered around and think. A questioned popped up in his mind and it repeated like a broken recorder. "When will be the time that (Name) will tell her feelings to me? When will be the time that I'll be able to confess to her?" His smile faltered. He knew that it was nearly possible. He did overheard you saying that you like him. He wanted you to say that in front of him soon. But he know all too well that you kept holding on to these rusted, broken, and lonely feelings you once called. He reached out to you, and came closer to you, the person in Hermitage. One day, if there is a time that someone will embrace you tightly in this eternity, it will come true. Right now, it already did. He will wait for you to speak out. He will wait for you to love him back. He will wait and always will.

It feels like years when it was actually weeks when he last communicated with you. You ignored him these past weeks and it pains him. Were you tired of spending time with him? Talking to him? Sharing your creative thoughts to him? Or was it something else? Then he finally knew why, a person like you, whose love was decorated with scars, became the proof that you've transcended time itself. You've fought and withstood everything that you forgot to love once again. He knew that you forgot to care yourself that you've became weaker than you always were. You prevent your feelings to overflow out of you and you gave up on everything. You avoided him because of these lingering feelings whenever he's near. You overworked yourself to the bone until you collapsed. Mika waited for you to talk to him again but his patience snapped like a thread when he heard that you're in the infirmary from Arashi. He rushed to the infirmary and to see if you're alright. He saw you, alright, sleeping peacefully but wasn't relieved when he saw your current physical condition. Your eyes that was full of life, turned dull and lifeless. He knows it even if it's closed. Your arms that carried anything with such strength, became thin. He was so scared to hold you that you might break. And your skin that was smooth and fair, became pale and dry. He still have time and he knows it. He sat on the chair beside the table and waited for you to wake up. Tears began to fall from his beautiful, azure and amber eyes. He weeped. He held your hand and gently squeezed it. You are so thin, thinner than you usually were that he was scared that you might break, like a porcelain doll. You indeed look like one but you seemed like you're on the verge of breaking. Mika waited and waited for you to wake up. Even on the middle of his work, all he could think of is you. Whenever Shu called him and Mika could only let out a small noise of guilt, Madmoiselle reassured him that you'll be alright once you wake up. He couldn't eat nor sleep well. Arashi and Ritsu comforted him. Including the rest of the Pretty 5. He is so worried that he was too close on ending up on the same condition as you and luckily, they prevented him from doing so. They help him stood strong for you and he wanted to do that to you the same. Days later, you woke up from your long rest. Your eyes opened to see the all-familiar white ceiling above you. Your hand feels limp yet the touch is sensitive from the warmth enveloped on it. You turned your head to see Mika sleeping at the bedside, holding your hand, as if not to let you go while waiting for you to wake up. You tried to call his name but your throat feels dry, like the drought in summer. You saw him waking up from his slumber and looked at you as he rubbed his eyes to stay awake. He pounced on you and hugged you firmly yet gently, not too tight and not too loose. "Yer back! I thought ya died..." He said as he began to sob. You pat his back for reassurance. He let you go and faced you. "Ya slept for four days! Everyone's worried about ya!" "..rry..." You tried to voice out but your dry throat won't let you do so. "You don't hafta apologize! It's not yer fault why yer like this!" "...t is..." You spoke out and tried to give moisture to your dry throat with your saliva. "Mi...ka... I—" "Not now, (Name). Ya hafta rest more." He cut you off as he gave you a glass of water. You weakly took it from his hand and drink it slowly. "I'm... sorry... I shouldn't—" "(Name), please..." Mika begged you to stay in the bed. "Mika, please, listen to me." "Talk to me after ya recovered. That can wait." He said as he assisted you to lie down on the bed. You held his hand to make him stay. You saw his eyes. He seemed hurt. You did as he said and kept your mouth shut but you didn't let go of his hand. You tried to tell him to stay but the other half of you wanted to tell him to go. So why? Why didn't you let him go? Silence remained in the infirmary. Mika stayed like what you told him to. Everything is too heavy for you that tears fell from your eyes. You couldn't let out the cry from the weight you've bear. It was too heavy that it's hard for you to let it all out. It was a silent one, indeed. Mika saw the constant flow of tears coming out of your eyes and comforted you. You immediately hugged him and constantly apologized to him. He was startled at your sudden actions to him. He became baffled on why you apologized to him. He didn't make a mistake to you or did any. "It's alright, (Name). Let it out." Mika whispered as he returned the hug you gave him. Soft sniffles and hics resonated in the infirmary. You wished that if only you could apologize to him properly and not like this someday soon.

Mika constantly visit you after his work. He took care of you even Anzu was there to bring you back to shape. From breaks to lunch and after work hours, he always visit you as you recover. Anzu scolded you for not taking care of yourself when she even did the same to herself. But in your case, it was worse than hers. Days passed and you recovered. You tried to return back to your work but Mika and Arashi stopped you from doing so. Even most of the units told you to rest just because you've recovered. Remembering that you're still a student, you ignored them and remained busy at your school works, which you were caught by a fellow producer of yours. That left no other choice for you but to rest and do nothing except for participating in classes, much to your chagrin. You sighed as you sat under the tree at the rooftop of the school building, where you could finally have peace. No Anzu stopping you from doing your producer work, no Ritsu tackling you down to the ground to make you sleep with him, and no Yuzuru to bring you to the student council office to have you drink tea with Tori and Mao. As the day was finally coming close to its end, you stayed there before leaving the campus to work at Ensemble Square. You lied down on the bench and felt the afternoon sun shining down on you. It was warm and gentle, just like how he held you back then. Your eyes shot wide open when you realized that almost everything reminded you of him. It annoys you almost every time. (W/N: ngl this happened to me all the time and I got sick of it.) You shook your head to remove the thoughts in your mind and rest. You felt peaceful once again and relaxed the you leaned sideways to see the late afternoon sky, shading from violet to orange. Just as you were about to close your eyes, a figure blocked the view and your scrunched your brows and nose up in annoyance. "I found ya." Mika sat down to your level and tilted his head to see you properly. That look of annoyance on your face just now disappeared and turned into a calm expression. How could you be mad when it's someone like Mika? "Ya seemed like yer like a cat who's about to kill someone? Ya okay?" Mika asked you out of curiosity? You questioned back, "Do I seem like one?" He nodded and grinned, "A cute one at that." You turned your body, making your back face Mika. You didn't want him to see that blush growing red on your cheeks. "Er, did I offend ya? Sorry..." He apologized and scratched his cheek. You immediately sit up and reassured him that you're not. The panicked look on his face turned into a relieved one. Cats are indeed cute, aren't they? You sighed. You cupped his cheek with your hand and rubbed your thumb. You felt him leaning to your touch and slyly grinned. You felt your heart squeeze like how one would squeeze a lemon by hand. Your other hand went to his hair and petted his head. You felt him leaning closer and rested his head on your lap. A blush began to spread across your cheeks until it covered your whole face. "(Name)... do ya like someone...?" Your flustered self didn't hear that question that you subconsciously answered him yes. "Really? Who is it?" You felt your heart stop at his question that you tried to process everything. "Can you repeat your question, Kagehira?" You wanted to hear his question once again to make sure you're not hearing anything wrong. "I asked ya if ya liked someone. You said yes and I'm asking ya who." He look up to see your face and stared into your eyes. You look back and said, "If I tell you who, would you still sing with me again?" He nodded at your question. Your spirit waved the white flag and ignore what will happen to you if you sold your soul to a demon. Mika sat down beside you and waited for you to say who. You were hesitant at first but you gave up and confessed, "It's you... Kagehira." Mika blinked once, then twice and brazenly replied, "I thought ya hated me that yer always away from me these past days." You look away and lost eye contact with him and admitted everything to him. "The reason why I took distance away from you and increase my workload more is because I wanted to ignore my feelings towards you. Producers and idols can't be in a relationship, Kagehira. That's why I created distance away from you. I'm sorry." Mika hugged you tight. "No wonder... Now I know why ya kept apologizing to me at the infirmary back then." He patted your back and you felt your tears coming out of your eyes. It hurts to cry but another wave of tears won't hurt, right? That's it. You're now waiting for him to leave you after this. "To be honest, I felt the same so don't feel bad okay?" Mika whispered to your ear as you felt more tears flowing out from the corners of your eyes. A moment ago, it was sadness but now it was full of pure joy. You didn't expect him to feel the same as you do. You wiped your tears and you felt Mika making you lean on to him. Now that you admitted it, you told him, "You know... it's better if we remain as friends. I'm not ready to be in a relationship with you, Kagehira." "It's fine, (Name). I can wait for ya to tell me if yer ready to date me." You smiled at his response and laid your head on his shoulder. It was reciprocated, indeed. But no one knows if it will last long. You thought that it won't stay long after you confessed to him. There will be a time that you'll disappear in this world and never return and leave him behind. But there was one thing that you didn't know and that is he will love you like a warmth in spring and shall never forget you even if you disappear. Even if there's no end to the seasons that come and go, he will be there to accompany you and will always be with you. Even without a word coming out of you, he knows that there is a soul inside. With the tears you both had shed, he'll gently tie these and use them to tell a story. The story you shared and created with him in this sleeping Hermitage, where you were being perished in this longing and illusion, he inched closer and reached you while you're holding on to these rusted, broken, and lonely feelings. Your wish when someday that he, will blow your heart and kiss you, embrace you tightly, and with a kiss that will inspire your heart in this eternity finally came true.

W/N:

Don't judge me. I'm fighting writer's block like how my life depends on it. *Proceeds to continue my speech and draft for the clubworks* Anyways, before I could disappear again, I made two pics for the fic like

He's so beautiful and you cannot argue with me.

I even have to ask my ValkyrieP (+EdenP and Double FaceP) friends at discord to pick a pic and somehow, it ended up as a "SwitchP fighting for their life from ValkyrieP's at their natural habitat with their very own companions" sumthn like that.

Anyways, bye.

[aresielle]

Rambling

The other day I was looking for inspiration for something to draw and I see a prompt list for an event (Au-gust if someone ask). I will not do it, but some of the prompt give me ideas. Because my mind did not follow one single idea and branched very quickly in every direction it goes like that :

oh there is a prompt for princes & princesses and another one for Victorian era.

It remind me all of theses otome isekai I read this last year.

Should I do some otome isekai/ star wars cross over?

But which period?

So I began to organise my ideas.

For the people who did not know what an otome isekai is :

This is a sub-genre of isekai (transported in another world) where the main character is transported in an other world. Often it's an otome game or a romance novel or light novel. The main character is often a young woman and the world she end in is vaguely European. The architecture and costume are generally a mix of European fashion going from maybe 16th century to early 20th. This young woman will reincarnate most of the time as a noble young woman or child and her purpose will be to save the world and or save herself from a funnest destiny (death). These stories are almost always romance with different males characters fighting for the girl attention.

So … how does an star wars AU will work? The easiest way will be : take a star wars character and put it in an existing otome isekai. It's boring. And if I put Obi-wan or one of the Clone trooper in an otome isekai … it will probably end like an existing almost otome isekai : lout of the count family.

I could imagine an in universe otome isekai and transport one of the character in it. It's too much work. And I'm pretty sure there is already some fan-fiction with a similar premise.

I could take the different traditional characters archetype and force a star wars character in each slot as an exercise of the mind. I chose to do that. I think it will be fun. And it was.

The different roles are the following :

The main characters : often reincarnated as a villainess of the original fiction. It did not mater witch title her father, have she will be the «princess», half of the time the character is adopted. (And her family will drop a “she's adopted” faster than Thor when ask about Loki in Avenger)

The older brother : there is 3 cases : overprotective, incestuous or abusive (sometime it's a combination of the 3. It's about you “death is the only ending for the villainess”.)

The father : most of the time not a good one. Even if he love his daughter, he will pretend he don't. It's the kind of fictional character who will hate his child because her mother died or, if she is adopted as a replacement for the original child who disappear, he will blame her for the disappearance.

The dead mother : because the mother is always dead. If she is not dead the main character will wish she is.

The step mother : Russian roulette for a good and supportive one vs evil abusive one. No middle ground.

The cheeky maid : there is always one maid sidekick. With freckle.

The original female lead : 2 cases : evil «white lotus» (very mean girl) vs main's first fan (people will ask why it's not a girl's love story)

The animal or child pet : the cute item who will follow the «princess». Could be magical. Will be far smarter than any other characters.

The duke of the north : a brooding, cold and handsome young man, with a tragic back story. One of the love interest, most likely to be main's lover at the end of the story if it is not an reverse harem. Black hairs and blue or red eyes are very recurrent.

The crown prince : a rich, suave, charming and handsome young man, often blond. Somehow he need to win the crown. (In these stories they follow east Asian court rules. With concubine for the king/emperor and their children fighting for the crown.) One of the love interest.

The queen (dowager or not, sometime not even the queen in title) : the woman who really rule the kingdom. Like the step mother her evilness is define by a Russian roulette game.

The magic tower master : a smart and handsome young man even if he is centuries old. Often one of the love interest. Green or white hairs are common.

The pope or head of the local church : could be a love interest. If not he will probably be the queen henchman and scheme with her.

The faithful knight : An handsome and kind young man but because his social position is lower than the other ones is love is very unrequited. Most of the time he will be the only decent man.

Now we have the roles we need the periods. I will define them following the movies and TV show. (BBY : before battle of Yavin, ABY: After battle of Yavin) :

The acolyte (about 100 BBY )

The prélogie and the clone wars (32 BBY to 19BBY)

The bad batch (19BBY to 18 BBY)

Kenobi and Star wars Rebel (9BBY to 1BBY)

Andor and Rogue One (5BBY to 0BBY)

The original trilogie (0BBY to 4ABY)

The mandalorian, Boba Fett and Ahsoka (9ABY to ? )

The postlogie and Resistance (34 ABY to 35 ABY)

This is my attempt to fill the different roles.

Some choices may seems dubious. If someone want to take the concept and made their own version go with it.

[sellensand]

The Eclipse and the Battle of Aeonia

So, the Battle of Aeonia. The moment when Malenia and Radahn "locked horns in combat" (in Ranni's words). We know their dispute ended in the devastation of Caelid, but... why did Malenia fight Radahn? And what was she doing in Caelid in the first place? I'd like to share my own answers to those questions.

ELDEN RING SPOILERS BELOW

The way I see it, in the early years of the Shattering war, the demigod Miquella was in the process of either resurrecting his brother Godwyn's soul or granting him a "true death" via a dark ritual involving an Eclipse (a solar eclipse, judging by the Castle Sol sigil and the Eclipse Shotel). But there was a small problem.

His half-brother, General Radahn, was a master of gravity sorcery, a knowledge he had gained while studying in the town of Sellia, in Caelid, in his youth. Allegedly wanting to prevent a meteorite from destroying his beloved alma mater (as per one of the Sword Monuments is Caelid), he managed to combine his knowledge of gravity with his demigod might to indefinitely halt the natural course of the celestial bodies, a feat that earned him the title of "Conqueror of the Stars". And while this exploit had succesfully managed to prevent the destruction of Sellia, Radahn's actions had... other consequences. When the stars stopped moving, the destiny of the Carian Royal family also came to a standstill (whether this was intentional or just a collateral effect is a matter for another post). And, most importantly, with the celestial bodies stopped in place... the Eclipse could never happen.

(I can't help but think about that ghost in Castle Sol that laments that the Eclipse never occured because their "prayers were lacking", tragically oblivious to the truth of the matter.)

Wanting to restart the ritual, Miquella sent Malenia and her knights to Caelid to kill Radahn... but that didn't go according to plan. While his Blade was away, Mohg entered the Haligtree and abducted Miquella in his coccoon. Meanwhile, Malenia struggled to defeat the powerful Radahn, and when he finally managed to mortally wound her, Malenia's rot flower blossomed in Caelid. Radahn was then turned into a witless rot-monster, the whole region was consumed by the scarlet rot, and the brave knight Finlay had to carry Malenia all the way back to the Haligtree, where she slowly recovered from her wounds in a slumber, eternally awaiting her brother's return.

That folks is my understanding of the events surrounding the Battle of Aeonia.

A couple of FAQs to wrap things up:

- If Radahn was preventing the Eclipse from happening with his powers, why doesn't it take place after we kill him in the game? I think we can safely assume that, in Elden Ring's world, a solar eclipse is a particularly rare event (we do not know how the Two Moons Situation works in this planet), and maybe not entirely natural, since it needs to be summoned somehow. Radahn's death makes the eclipse possible again, but whatever Miquella and his followers were doing to bring it forth is no longer being done, so...

- How come there is a night and day cycle in the game before we kill Radahn? Because, even though the moons may not be in motion, the planet is still rotating on its own axis. If the part of the world you're in stops receiving solar light, it gets dark and you can see the moon(s), simple as that.

Does any of this make any sense? I hope so.

As always, please let me know if this has already been theorised by someone else before. I mainly use this blog to vent about my own theories and, while I do follow a few Elden Ring blogs, I don't really keep up-to-date with the latest lore trends.

[countessofravenclaw]

5, 8 and 20 for the fanfic writer ask game

Is there a tiny detail in one of your fics that you feel goes tragically unnoticed?

Oh my god, this is hard... I am trying remember here what I have actually released and what are still unreleased...

Okay, this hasn't maybe been that apparent quite yet, but it will be and I feel like it has and will end up bit unnoticed. It hasn't been that apparent yet, given that Oscar (Gastón and Nina's oldest and only son) hasn't been that prominently featured yet, when this has to do with him.

There are some certain parallers that appear between Gastón and Nina, Gastón's parents, and finally Oscar and the girl who he will eventually marry (yes, I know who she is. I have though that far, but not gonna spoil things here). So basically, The Perida line kind of rhymes with each other when it comes relationships, marriages and true love

Maybe the most obvious one is the fact that Isla and Marco met at a photgraphy course at University when they were 20, while Gastón and Nina had their first proper interraction during the photography worshops at Blake.

I don't think Gastón realized that paraller himself until he told his parenst about Nina and they pointed it out. Then they knew that Nina was gonna be their duaghter in law

I can't say much about Oscar here, because 1. I haven't written the stuff yet and 2. I don't wanna spoil about the girl, evben thoug it will be obvious when the fics go on.

Is there a story idea you have that you would love if it could appear fully realized but that you do not think you’ll ever write yourself?

Honestly, I am not sure, because like, why I started writing was because the fics I wanted to read didn't exist. I am also such a terriple fic reader with subjects I have my own ideas on, because I keep going: "I wouldn't do it like this" and "I am not sure". I need to keep telling myself that it is not my fic and it is a different interpreteantion.

Is there anything about any one of your fics that you have been dying to discuss but haven’t had the chance to?

I think I kind of talked about this in one of the authors notes of S2AU, but like the whole thing thing with Ambar and Gastón's relationship and why I kind of think Ambar kind of has a soft spot for him.

Even when she was trying to ruin Gastina in S1, she was always just seeking to hurt Nina, never even mentioning Gastón.

This is again something that was mentioned in S2AU and other fics that they have been in the same class since the 3rd grade, and Gastón is the one Ambar has known the longest and they've always been kind of friends.

Okay, so, we see in the show how Ambar looks at the Valentes all sad, because how happy they are as a family, because her life is not like that. What I think she is doing with that, is that she she is justifying it with thinking that the Valentes are servants, low class and don't have money, so it is different and her parental relationship with Sharon is completely normal because they have class and money.

But when she looks at a family Gastón has, she can't really make those argument, because Peridas are a high class family with money and influence in the excatly the same level as Sharon (no mater what she likes to say about them), but they also are totally capable of loving and knowing their child. Sharon didn't even know Ambar's favorite color, while Gastón's parents are able to tell that he is upset about something from how he prounces a letter.

So, it is like this very blatant proof that something is definitely wrong in her relatioship with Sharon. Maybe she is still trying to justify it, by thinking that she is adopted and there is only one parent so it is different, but would probably never actually believe in that. So yeah, she's definitely jelous, but in a way that she knows that she can't change that.

So she more like wants to preserve that, because she likes the idea.

I don't know if this makes any sense, but hopefully you could see what I was going for here