#no matter how much i bitch about it here | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vincent-sinclair-deserved-better · 25 days

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hm

thinking of my blorbos but not in a "i love you you love me all is well" way but a "i love you hope you kill me" way lol

#cylas vents #negativity #negative #death wish #lmao #bitches be like '[potentially concerning thing]' and then add 'lol' as if it's funny or a joke lmao #like i mean technically it's not but then again it is bc it's me. like yeah don't worry don't take this seriously don't mind me ok #it doesn't really matter anyway kk. or maybe it's more like I'm the joke.#like idk the thought that like most of my f/os would probably kill me on sight should be less comforting than it is i guess #imagine casually making posts like this and still being like 'ok but maybe im not actually mentally ill maybe im faking maybe im lying to #myself maybe im making excuses maybe im imagining things maybe im just lazy' etc etc #none of the antidepressants since fluoxetine decided it's over have done shit and even my psychiatrist now is always like 'hm. so do you #want to keep trying other things' and like yeah what else can i do? therapy didnt do anything for this specific issue and the tagesklinik #lady didnt really seem to get my issue (well her suggestions for like therapy groups or whatever were more about socialising or whatever #like ??? girl that's really not the main problem here lmao but she also did have a point about how i would have to actually go there every #day etc but like #what else am i supposed to do #hi i am always tired and sometimes struggle to even get out of bed and thats why i worry about getting a job or something bc it could become #too much or whatever but like unfortunately thats kind of a requirement for everything lmao #when psychiatrist asks what i want/expect or whatever i am internally like 'a magic pill that just fixes everything and makes me a normal #functional human being' but like that's just not A Thing (tm)#so. like. what else am i supposed to do.#i don't want to be like this forever #idk how to tag lmai #using stuff like #tw suicidality #tw suicidal #tw suicidal ideation #just feels so over the top and like i dont have the right to use them lol

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shieldwife · 10 months

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I need the hunger games to go back to no longer being relevant to most people because I keep getting genuinely heated over other people's opinions on a ya series and it's embarrassing

#STOP TREATING THINGS THAT I KNOW ARE JUST POPULAR FANON AS CANON PLEASE #I CAN LITERALLY TELL YOU WHERE HALF OF THESE THEORIES AND TROPES COME FROM OH MY GOD #BECAUSE THERE HAS NEVER BEEN A YEAR SINCE I WAS 10 THAT I'VE BEEN NORMAL ABOUT THE HUNGER GAMES #AND IT'S SO INCONSEQUENTIAL BUT SHUT UP ABT FOUR NOT BEING A CAREER DISTRICT!!#IT'S CAREER STATUS IS ESSENTIAL TO KATNISS'S REALIZATION OF WHO THE REAL ENEMY IS!!#and also you know. Finnick and Annie being much more interesting characters if they're careers and had to unlearn their indoctrination #as I know I've complained about on here before lol #also just bad interpretations of parts of tbosas #and the obvious misogyny when it comes to how some characters are treated like Cato vs Coral in the movies #like I know most of the Cato bitches only liked him bc they found his actor attractive #and them genuinely hating a similar character played by a woman (who is not traditionally feminine)... girl. I see what's going on #and I hate being annoyed by it bc it doesn't matter. but I literally am and it sucks lol

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gayvampyr · 2 years

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people are so fucking annoying when it comes to drugs and alcohol. oh you’ve never drank or smoked? why? does your family have a history of addiction? none of your fucking business. oh you have drank or smoked? why? for fun? mental problems? again. none of your business. why do you care

#i can’t stand people #i hate being asked if i’ve drank or smoked because no matter what answer i give there’s judgement #if i say i haven’t then i’m a stuck up self-righteous bitch who doesn’t know how to have fun #i get the ‘‘why not? what’s wrong with you?’’ question like drugs and alcohol are a stepping stone to adulthood or some shit #and if i say i have always ‘how much? how often? is it an addiction? are you a useless lazy junkie who doesn’t care about anything?’’ like #there’s no right answer here

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snazum · 27 days

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me trying to stroll thru the ted nivison tag on tumblr for some sick art X READER, IMAGINE, OTHER THINGS I CAN'T REMEMBER THE NAME OF EVEN THO IT'S QUITE LITERATLY RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME XDD

#No shade btw I get it #look. I was on mcyt wattpad as a small small SMALL child and I mean FUCKING TINY #and I get it!#Where are the fanartist tho I want art grrrrr #do I have to do everything myself #anyways guys can u tell that maybe i've found myself in a new yt fixation.... erm #like 4 chuckle sandwich podcasts and a barbie movie review and i'm in the trenches #seriously though i do think that most of it is stemming from my video creation fixation #i blame school coming up #SCHLATTS MONKEY VIDEOW???? Beautiful editing i want to edit like that #don't know the editor off the top of my head sorry #i'm going crazy over video creation honestly and they're my vessels (This is very hyperbole)#snazum talks #I have an idea cooking btw.... maybe I'll share it here when i'm done but otherwise i'm gonna be tight lipped about it :)#if ur a mootie/friend tho feel free to ask me in dms :D I can't help but want to ramble bout it #I may be a little shy though since it's not embarrasing per say but i also don't like talking bout it that much #It's nothing serious it's actually the most not serious thing ever but i feel like a bragging bitch when i talk about it so i don't #but also i want to talk about it. cause the subject matter isn't even what i'm proud about it's the idea of how to present it that is #this is so vague i'm so sorry i started fucking rambling in these tags jesus christ #why am i like this ANYWAYS YEAH BYE #EDIT: okay but tbf back to the original point i didn't think this shit would be main tagged?#I find it usually isn't when it comes to rpf stuff but what do i know #all i know is 2012/2014....#the trenches dude.#u don't want to see my old art it contains so many terrible terrible youtubers #I sure know how to pick em #i think the amount i ramble in tags really really represents my adhdness #i got fucking diagnosed and i'm scared to say that i'm just gonna say my quirkyness

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mars-ipan · 28 days

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this is gonna sound incredibly virtue signal-y i fear but i have been feeling. so fiercely protective of all the transfems i've ever met lately

#marzi speaks #I PROMISE I'M NOT TRYING TO EARN GOOD BOY POINTS HOLD ON LET ME. EXPLAIN MYSELF HERE #obvs we're in kinda a tense political climate rn #and i'm noticing trends have been getting . increasingly misogynistic lately?#in like . a subtle but for sure still noticeable way #and women are being dismissed and all this awful shit #and ppl are going. completely mask off about it when the woman happens to be a trans gender #and it reminds me of when i was a little girl. and how my mom spent so much time in my childhood #training me to not stand for and take misogynistic bullshit from anyone. and to defend other women too #she taught me to assert myself in professional or academic environments. she taught me to stand proud and take up physical space #once as a kid my great uncle (who's always been a nut) didn't let me come on a fishing trip because i was a girl #when i came to my mom crying about it because i loved boats and fishing and my family she just about murdered him. completely tore into him #my whole life my mom has been there to tell me that people will try to put me down. they will try to overlook me or dismiss me #or make me feel smaller. and if i dare to get too confident i'll be labeled bossy or a bitch #and that no matter what i do i cannot let those pieces of shit win. i cannot let that stop me #and that i'd have to fight so fucking hard for it my whole life and it won't be fair but i will do it because i have no other option #and i'm seeing a lot of transfems having to navigate that now too #but they didn't get the privilege of being trained in this since day 1. they have to figure it out on their own #and the demonization right now is so strong that a single misstep can be. so dangerous #and it makes me so mad. all of that built up anger from every time i've had to learn how to not take misogynistic bullshit comes to a boil #the little girl scout in my brain who grew up forcing people to see that a girl can do whatever the fuck she wants fuck you is ACTIVE rn #she's angry. she's so angry. because she's seeing the same bullshit she dealt with in middle school being repeated again #anyways. transfems. i love you so much. you deserve so much fucking better.#i hope you can safely advocate for yourself. until then i will fucking yell and scream from the rooftops because this shit is so unfair #you should be allowed to succeed and you should be allowed to fail. and you should be allowed to take up as much goddamn space as you want #and wear whatever the hell you want. transfems i love you and i am so so angry on your behalf. modern feminism has failed you #and i am going to kill someone over it #remember to be loudly and unapologetically yourself as much as you safely can. do not let them crush your spirit

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somespicyshrimp · 2 years

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:)

#don't fight each other #we're all bad bitches here #personally i'm mostly the thousand facts about a thousand random things guy #so i absolutely love meeting people who know an absolutely insane amount #about one specific thing #could not be me #and i love that for them #knowledge is fun and cool and swag as hell #no matter what type or how much or about what #original shrimpy

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spikeyjo · 2 months

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Siri how do i stop the cycle without doing these bitchass tiny steps

#lamenting because i was so close to being normal and then i fucking lost it and gained nearly 100 lbs #and i cant get back to where i was i just ...... aaaaaaaaaaaaa #im so much more mentally fucked now so its harder #but thats all excuses right?#and then theres me being like am i even saying that bc i know its what people want to hear #or do i actually believe it? and is there even a difference if i know its true but i dont believe it?#does it even fucking matter just stop shoveling garbage in your mouth ffs #is the real answer here but I AM STRUGGLING #im looking into wls but i know if i dont get my emotional and bored eating under control that shit WILL NOT BE GOOD FOR ME #hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng #im just mad bc i have to fucking grocery shop #which always leads me to being pissed about this fuckass cycle #bitch call me mauville town the way i have cycles #god i can recognize the cycle which all tthe therapists will be like good on you!! :D and im like great. how do i break it #and then theyll say ten thousand small steps BITCH IM DYING I NEED DRASTIC CHANGE #BUT THEN IT WONT STICK AND ILL REVERT BACK TO WHERE I AM #but i did it drastically the first time and it wouldve stuck if i hadnt fucking lost it and ended up in the ward #im not a small steps kind of guy i need to wake up and fix shit and stick to it #but listen to me i am dean maniacally speaking to sam.gif #i buy all these stupid ass healthy foods and i have all these good ideas and reciepes and im legit pumped #and then i fuck it up and order food thats awful for me and then i give the hell up #which is an easy problem to fix. i know.#i can simply just....... not do that #but i swear i am struggling which pisses me off so bad #like you wouldnt struggle if youd quit being a stupidass and just did the damn thing #god i am not gonna do well on my psych evaulation #im gonna end up turning it into therapy and im gonna rage and the lady is gonna be like :D................. you need ten more visits #and youre getting denied at the end of them so get fucked #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #charlie am i losing my GODDAMN MIND? IF ITS GONE WHERE WILL I FIND.. IT?

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greedbent · 10 months

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no listen you guys you have no idea how hard it is to resist also writing wylan here bc

#〣♚{ ooc }#bc what? you might ask #bc nothing it needs no explanation #big scary crow man and his fluffy criminal-in-training ?? we get both flavors #and both flavors are delicious #i feel like wy would be my “i'm so sorry about him--” character #that is desperately needed lbr #me 🤝 wylan out here apologizing for this dramatic bitch every time he opens his mouth #i love the crows sm i just am not satisfied no matter how much i get of them #cut to me writing the entire gang at this rate wakemeup #consider this: a complimentary wylan van sunshine for everyone who has had to deal with kaz #it's a prize for putting up with this bastard :|#in all seriousness tho if i ever did exercise the option he'd be a sideblog to this one so nothing MAJOR but #steeples fingers and stares vacantly

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mercuryislove · 1 year

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the fun but also frustrating thing about reading three entire years of my writing back to back to back is that I see a lot of stuff that makes me go HE WOULD NOT FUCKING SAY THAT so so so so often

#oc talk #i go on and on about how much my characters have changed as i fine tune these plots but for real. he would not say that.#yixing literally walked out IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT on a relationship hed been in for ten years (almost all of his adult life thusfar)#to a person he was supposed to MARRY IN LIKE THREE MONTHS #bc he was too scared and embarrassed and ashamed to talk to her about his stupid idiot feelings.#you know this bitch would NOT be talking about insecurities with his EMPLOYER. no matter how bad he wants to fuck him!!!!#i leep making notes of stuff thats just like 'make him worse make him worse make him worse make him worse'#he isnt a bad person but he makes stupid decisions and is all around a complete idiot when it comes to any kind of relationship #anyway i have CRINGED so hard reading some of this older stuff but ive also laughed out loud and had a great time #absolutely gutted that some of my favorite scenes will have to be axed in the name of making yixing a worse person lmao #also i dont know how it happened but they dont fuck until like. well past the halfway point. what the hell man.#i guess the fucking isnt the goal here but its really funny that hes practically on his hands and knees (phrasing) BEGGING (phrasing again)#ciaran to fuck him and hes just like. chill man. itll happen when i say it happens.

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dadvidtism · 1 year

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cc tier list.. putting it here to rant a little in a ‘not into a wall’ way.. for personal needs.. 😇

#txt #camp camp #main tagging this out of pure spite im so silly #this is getting zero notes but i made these not for them anyway this is more personal rant reasoning if anything #if u dont agree with this 1. idgaf 2. i really really dgaf like truly it just means we dont agree #at some point u realize that people like the nazi child and there is nothing u can do about it so im winning the idgaf war #i’m pretty certain about my character list but the episode one is urgrhrg like i had to check over which ones the thumbnails are for #worlds worst cc enjoyer for the sole reason that im normal about it #alsooo the first episode should be a higher tier that had so much good comedy trio siblings moments #number ONE comedy trio siblings fan alive #me and orpheus fighting our ‘cc trios are siblings’ war in our own with no one to help #im such a solo dadvid stan though their duo makes me see red and also makes me giggle happy like woahhh the duality of a person (adhdtism)#also putting my rant on it here but !! reigny day episode pisses me AWWFFFF because it characterizes david as an asshole so well #but it’s also a nazi kid episode 😞 and idk how to deal with that #but season 1 is in general a good setting stone of david is a total bitch if u think about it so i’m okay with looking over it #i need to make a 2 page essay post on why im mad people overlook the ‘david is a shitty person’ thing season 1 establishes but it’s okay #whatever not like i care or anything <- cares deeply #fuck this show anyway im pissed at the fact i like it forever 😒#*said in a tsundere fashion* it’s not like the way u portray generational abuse and healing from it matters to me or anthing.. b baka >\\<

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hey-op-just-kill-me · 1 year

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The desire to drop out of college and never go back is so fucking strong… but I can’t quit something without feeling bad about it for a decade later so I really don’t know what to do

#shh shut the fuck up ollie #sorry my brain is just fuzzy and fucked up rn #I have a break coming up soon but like I have three research papers due by the end of the semester and I really just don’t wanna do this #it’s like the impending feeling of dread and doom yk #and like I know I should go back to therapy bc I’ve been feeling like this since idk August I think?? maybe April of last year??#I genuinely think I’ve felt like this since high school consistently and that fucking sucks #because I love that I’m going to college where I am and I got friends but like I’m only here for the fucking film program not all the extra #so I just have to suck it up and get it over with but like I just wanna edit silly little movies not discuss Alexander the Great or #the concept of garbage in society or fucking Scottish imperialism #like I went to college for film not everything else and I just can’t get myself to give a shit anymore #and I’m just sitting in this spiral of shit where I can’t claw myself out of no matter how much I try I’m just in this bottomless pit #and I can’t escape it and my mom just keeps giving me an attitude for not being this cheerful bitch but I just don’t have the energy anymore #and I keep leaving school early because I have such a long break on Tuesday and Thursday so what’s the point but I can’t do that #because I have to pass and to pass I have to go #but I just always feel like shit it’s like an underlying feeling and every time I try and talk to my parents about it #it’s like stfu what do you have to be sad about you’re going to college getting to experience going into the city everyday but I just can’t #I can’t pull myself out of it and talking about it with my parents just feels weird but I can’t talk to anyone else either so I’m just #sitting here waiting for SOMETHING but I have no clue what that something is ykk

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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years

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...

#bro. if i could fucking read or focus for longer than like 5min id be so powerful. i could learn so much #its so annoy bc my brain is like nah every 5min u have to stop what ur doing. start doing something else and then immediately go back to #what u were doing before. its so annoying. unless the beam of my attention actually sticks to something and im sitting there extremely #focused for like 6hrs. i wish i could do that for writing papers but i cant read so its hard #if i could read id be like: listen up science bitches. the way u ppl talk abt photosynthesis in extremophilic soil communities is fucking #stupid and boring. ill tell u what the fuck is up.#and then id tell them. but now im like uuuuhh fucking this is stupid but i cant express why #its bc theyre looking at it from a different frame of reference. from a more land management and like community centered way #like trying to be useful and im over here like i dont give a fuck about usefulness i just wanna talk abt how cool cyanobacteria r and #understand how they work. and i think that's a better mindset to understand whats actually happening #but whatever i cant read so it doesnt matter bc i cant back up my options in any substantial way #unrelated

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fizzingwizard · 2 years

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the type of bot followers I've been getting recently are different from the old ones

they old ones were called something like "kayla95573735" or other conventional female name, or they were "vik558dfght" absolute nonsense. of course, you click them, and there's a semi-provocative banner image of a woman, and then either nothing at all in the blog itself or a few scattered reblogs of random stuff.

now i get "keith5684564" "edwardjfkghhg" and even though the names are now typically male ones the images are still of women various women in the typical provocative poses and entirely empty blogs

I guess the bots realized no one believes they're really women so might as well make a sham attempt at credibility and just announce that oh yeah they're run by guys? (which of course they're bots soooo lol)

or maybe the bots were getting too many messages for "kayla" and thought that if they're "keith" instead at least people won't message them so much

kind of funny imagining a bot getting so overwhelmed by the sheer amount of "hey baby dm me" in its inbox that it redesigns its identity hehehehe

#tumblr #totally off topic but #actually tbh this is what i wish men who try to meet women online would sympathize with a bit more #i get it sucks to message women and get nothing back when presumably those women are getting a lot of messages #but speaking from experience yeah you get messages if you present as a woman but the messages are awful #its like why do i not get any chocolate? she gets so much chocolate #but the chocolate she gets is mostly mud and theres so much of it that sifting around for real chocolate is not worth the effort #and the fact of the matter is most of the guys who message you arent interested in you. theyre just blanket messaging all women in a radius #and if any reply then they consider whether they actually like them #so i never took he messaged me as proof that a guy even looked at my profile back when i tried online dating haha #just saying womens experience with online dating isnt less frustrating and demoralizing just because of the different amount of messages #it sucks to get no response and it sucks to get a lot of spam response #but whenever men online talk about online dating they always bring up how women get sooo many messages and its not fair #here dude you can have mine lol. please take them. i dont want them. no woman wants them lol #also its just weird when you make a first time account and suddenly there are 20 people all messaging you calling you baby #lol im not your baby... not yet... thats why we're here... to figure that part out... but dont jump the gun k it doesnt win you any points #hey baby dm me hey baby dm me hey baby dm me hey baby dm me hey baby dm me why dont u respond baby why u such a bitch

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bibiana112 · 2 years

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Officially at so distressed that I broke my stim toy levels of autism

#I don't like thiiis hhh #I'm still at my parent's and it's nobody's fault that I'm not back to my city yet storms and accidents happen #but fuck I was planning four days and it's about to be more than a week #I didn't bring any of the stuff I use to self regulate because it's a bitch to bring with and not necessary in the short term #I'm alone no one I fucking like is here and my parents are trying but I'm apparently too much of a bitch to care #no matter how irrational it is I just fucking hate feeling this vulnerable while next to them so I just lock myself away #I'm gonna miss my friends thesis project presentation and god I didn't fucking see them the whole year just #I'm not supposed to be with anyone that cares about me I'm just not the universe won't let me #I've done everything I have available to self regulate I took a shower I am physically at peak fucking performance #it's just not enough I want to break something for real #I want to eat stuff I'd buy myself not whatever they decide to make #I want a fucking heads up before doing nice things because if it's a surprise it's suddenly not a nice thing anymore #I want to be home and I want people to stop being nice to me and just fucking say what they think #I'm awful it just hurts so much to wait for everything to fall apart I hate feeling so estranged and detached from everyone #delete later

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cuntwrap--supreme · 2 years

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Hi. Hello. Is it too much to ask for people getting onto the interstate to stay in their FUCKING LANE while merging? Yes, I realize there are two lanes getting on this particular ramp. You cannot occupy both at once, because then I have the option of hitting you or hitting a fucking concrete wall, and you bet your ass that I'll cut in front of you going 80 and slam into a dead stop in front of you.

Thanks.

-this post is brought to you by Leon's roadrage

#i 100% cut in front of this bitch and dead stopped. she in turn lost control and went off the road #hope she died. don't care. fight me.#you're not going to try to hit me in your shitty 1990s minivan because you're too fucked up on pain pills to drive #my car is the nicest thing I've ever owned. if you hit me you're going to the hospital. i will kill someone if they hit me.#she's fine and i know she is because she got back on the road and almost hit another driver doing so but goddamn.#is it too much to ask that bad drivers die in a fire? I'll bring the napalm.#realtime fuck around and find out situation. i have the rage. you bring the stupidfuckery #you cannot convince me this isn't ab appropriate reaction. if you try to vehicular manslaughter me through negligence you no longer matter #if you're too stupid to drive stay off the road. can't even count how many times losers on their phones have almost killed me #but here's the fun thing: I'm in control. i know how to drive because I'm not an idiot.#I'm not out here operating a deadly chunk of metal while impaired or texting. if you do that i hope you die. sorry. get fucked.#i have no sympathy for people who willingly endanger others. if you don't know how to drive this isn't about you.#unless you're the kind of person who can't drive but does so anyway. bonus fuck you points if you think that's cute of you #fully convinced old people need yearly assessments too because it's almost always old people #old people too gone to have spatial awareness. middle aged people fucked up on drugs. or young kids texting.#but here's the fun fact. I'm an equal opportunity hater. i will brake check you regardless #and you'll be shitting yourself meanwhile rage clears my mind so I'll be fine. I'll be gone before you can process what's going on #if you think this is horrible of me you can fuck right off. block me. if you think risking lives while driving is ok you're an idiot #block me ya stupid fucks. if that's a problem i don't care.

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snekdood · 1 month

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why do ppl you barely know or interact with at all think you give a huge fuck about interacting with them?

#yeah bitch i saw you. no i didnt give a fuck. who even are you sdhjfhvgsdvghfsd #we have no interacted enough for me to like. care? about talking to you or noticing you any further than 'ive interacted w that person #before'. but the way you rushed out was funny. nice to know i have that much power 😌#kind of tells me everything i need to know and all that shit about totally not interacting w that one friend group is probably bs #you probably rushed out of there to go talk to them about how you saw me #and yall like to believe lies bc you need to shit on me bc its the only way you can feel an ounce bit better about living a shitty life #and being oppressed. crabs in a bucket type behavior over here.#the only difference is yall somehow for some goddamn unknown reason to me think you're superior to me meanwhile conservatives #throw us all in the same bucket of 'weird' so i really dont think it matters. like i really dont think your attempt to shit on me is going #to change very much of anyones opinion on you...? like ppl are gonna call you weird queer ppl anyways? welcome to the club losers?#anyways keep coping by trying to shit on me but its not gonna make your life better babe. go smoke somethin.#really wild you'd treat another trans person- someone you know irl no less- like a lolcow when yall have 0 legs to stand on like #who do yall think you are that you get to feel this superiority complex? im begging to know.#like idk if yall know this but while you're desperately clawing to feel better than me my conservative brother is lumping us all together #as crazy dumb easily manipulated trans people like i promise no amount of trying to appease cis people by trying to come off as one of #the Good and Normal trans people is going to work for you and also you'll be dumped in the trash as soon as that totally weirder #person is out of the picture. like when im gone you're gonna be the weird ones babe so.#maybe find a more productive use of your time. perhaps a hobby.#and then maybe some day yall can have made as much art as i have and have as big of a following as me too. k? 💖#which isnt like a whole lot but im sure as fuck more known than any of you....................................... . . . .

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