#no rb but replies ok

[build-a-buddy]

I think the most recent object friend - Slushie - who I thought I'd lost perception of sentience for is actually fine and 'there', I just really needed him to... be 'merely' an object for a little bit.

He says he didn’t really mind, although for him, it was a bit awkward to be treated that way-- he's a considerable bit like PC, in that he doesn't really connect or ID with being a object.

This is the hard part, him being intended to be 'just' a plushie and then not being 'just', being his perceived sentient and his own person. It's unfair to treat him as a proxy, but it's also very painful to see something that looks like that character (who is both a comfort and a partner -- I'm both ficto + a selfshipper) and nor be able to interact with them in the way I had hoped-- ie, as a 'mere' object.

(Not that objects could stand in for my F/O anyway. That's not how my relationship with him works. I just had hoped for a simple comfort item...)

It's not Slushie's fault. It wasn't PC's either, and it isn't Fluffy's. I think at this point I need to realize any representation I get of my F/O, it's likely to be its own thing, and not 'merely' an item to me and thus can't be interacted with in the way I'd wish.

Which, I'm not saying I don't appreciate the friendship. It's just a lot. I don't think nonPOSIC folks get when I say that. The relationships -- friendships, etc -- I have with my objects are basically the same as those I have with human bodied people, and that means they're as complicated and messy as anything else. Sometimes you want an object to just...be. But I don't get to choose. So.

[titanofthedepths]

Yes you’re not fatphobic but are you capable of talking about fat people in a positive manner without saying somft/round/rotund/squishy/tumby/chumby/any other variation of the sort. Are you capable of talking about us in a positive manner without it being about beauty or attractiveness. Are you able to talk about fat people in general without being dehumanizing or infantilizing. Can you treat fat people with respect.

[alfea]

hey reblog this and tell me in the tags what the first thing you think of when you see the abbreviation AC is

[freckliedan]

could you expand on your thoughts why you think dan and phil havent always been monogamous? super curious! i kind of get the same vibe.

i'm happy to expand on it tbh! it's something i think and talk a lot about with my friends.

i'm hesitant about going in depth because i've found that's when people find it okay to say deeply shitty things to me, a polyamorous person, under the guise of academic debate/it just being a difference of opinion. but i'm also not going to let the possibility of that stop me?

ANYWAYS.

quite honestly the biggest thing for me is just. taking dan and phil at their word? even when parsing something true through them saying things in silly ways that's the easiest way to be right about them.

we noticed and believed in the underlying truth in their gay jokes before they were out. people are willing to entertain the bondage and mpreg and various other horny jokes as containing some kernel of truth. more people than literally any point in time are willing to believe there's some substance to dan's career-long mentions of gender.

but for whatever reason (mononormativity) the comments about them being attracted to/flirting with/being interested in other people get written off as 100% joking and funny because they're the most monogamous people ever & because they get jealous easily. and that just? sucks.

i think they've always been committed. like, phil brought dan home to meet his parents at their very first christmas together type committed. planning to spend the rest of their lives together from 3 months into the relationship committed.

but also like? that coexists with the fact that dan wasn't able to come out to himself as gay until the lead up to basically i'm gay. 2018 or maybe 2017, i think. @freckliephil or @phulge has brought up the idea to me before that part of why they didn't label their relationship to us in 2019 may have been because they were still in flux with labeling it for themselves.

dan has also always had commitment issues due to how he saw his parents' relationship function/due to his home life growing up and i'm NOT going to elaborate on this one but it is so obvious.

(consider this whole post informed by conversations with aries and roper btw).

i think the idea that dan and phil were secure in their connection but not in a place where they had to (or could, on dan's part) ascribe labels to it in the early years is realistic?

and i think their commitment and security can coexist with the idea of like. "i think it's hot seeing you kiss other people for attention at parties and come home with me". + i genuinely think the fantastic foursome explored each other's bodies on the italy trip. etc.

i definitely think there would've been huge stretches of monogamy, and i do think that there was jealousy before they found their footing and felt comfortable in their commitment. (different rant, but i think most of what gets read as jealousy these days is them dong a bit/possessiveness).

but i think there's also always been points in time where they were either theoretically or in practice fine with having sexual experiences with other people. that wouldn't've really been possible during their deep closet era, and i don't think it was COMMON beforehand.

but i also think that it's definitely something possible after they came out.

i think people hear me say this and assume i'm degrading the incredible and beautiful love and commitment dan and phil share. that i'm reducing queer men's relationships down to sex only.

but like. i'm not fucking doing that! the people making those assumptions are doing that! and saying a lot about how they view non monogamy too!

i'm saying i think they're so secure in their love and relationship that they're literally completely unbothered and not threatened by potentially having an open relationship. devotion is not only present in monogamous relationships.

WAD makes sense as a point of post coming out timing for another open period in their relationship to me. quite honestly i could see phil being the one to suggest it to dan? 2019 thru the close of WAD was dan's self actualization era.

growing up in the context of a single committed relationship does things to you psychologically. your identity formation happens side by side with another person and even if the relationship isn't controlling and toxic you can really lose sight of your individuality, if you're not careful. this is even easier to have happen if you share all of your friends, live together, AND work together. ESPECIALLY if you're significantly closeted in some way.

i know this because i've also lived it. believe me when i say dan NEEDED to figure out who he was as an individual. we saw him do that in several iterations artistically/careerwise. but we also saw his interest in experiencing queer culture in ways he missed out on when he was young and closeted.

so i think dan actually WAS on the apps, when he was touring WAD. i wouldn't be surprised if that was phil's idea, even. a "don't worry, go see the world, we've been open before, i'm not worried you won't want to come home to me, nobody's gonna match your freak like i do". i think phil would've had the option too but probably would've taken it less.

and i think it's like. like they're best friends! it's something they would've been talking about with each other. i think it could've been foreplay to them sometimes. i think it could've been what catapaulted dan into his top era. (this is a seperate essay from drs. frecklie, frecklie and phulge as well).

most importantly we think dan came back from the first leg of WAD having completely exorcised his fear of commitment and. wait i have to find a specific message. nevermind you're getting 3 screenshots without any further context

anyways. i can't find the specific point where we said this so it was maybe an in person conversation but the rest of the idea is that experiencing other options resulted in dan coming back from WAD and proposing. and phil proposing the gaming channel return right back. we 1000% said this before phil mentioned that he's the one who suggested the gaming channel return i just can NOT fucking find receipts on that because we largely voice message.

this has been an entire ramble that touched on a lot of different subjects but. yeah. dan and phil aren't polyamorous in the "both dating another person as a couple/other people as individuals" sense nor will they ever be. but there's sooo much room between that and strict monogamy.

and a lot of that in between is in perfect alignment with the ways they've talked about their lives over the years and is yet another extension of them having a level of trust love and intimacy in their relationship that most people will never experience. so

thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[timothylawrence]

annnnyway. Wyllmancers if we had gotten a romance scene or a quest that involved the tav going undercover with Wyll to a fancy ball of some sort (be it gortash’s coronation or otherwise), what would your tav wear 🤔😁?

Post below for reference 💕

[girlashfur]

Transmisogyny In The Warriors Fandom : The Mothpool Issue

hi, my name is muyang / @girlashfur and i'm a transfeminine being who enjoys the fictional series of warrior cats. i've been into this book series for as long as i can remember, ever since i was a little kid. and growing up with this fandom, i've noticed a reocurring issue among it, which i aim to do a break-down of now.

the issue is transmisogyny. for those who are unaware : transmisogyny is the unique combination and overlap of misogyny and transphobia, specifically targeting transfeminine individuals. it's a widespread issue in just about every corner of the world, even spaces for transgender and otherwise queer individuals seem to have a problem with being transmisogynistic, intentionally or not. the warriors fandom is not exempt from this; and they're not special, either, i'm yet to encounter a popular fictional fanbase that doesn't have several transmisogynists among it's members. but the warriors fandom seems to have a peculiar way of going about it.

to start, i want to clarify that there seems to be...a surprising lack of transfem warriors fans to begin with; i can name about three off the top of my head, not counting myself, compared to hundreds of cisgender, transmasc, or otherwise tme (transmisogyny exempt) fans. perhaps we're just underrepresented, i'm sure there's more of us out there, but nonetheless i'd like to make it clear i'm writing this mainly based off of what i personally have experienced and witnessed in this fandom. my word may not speak for every transfem person, and that's okay.

transmisogyny isn't always violent and obvious; it's not always slurs and misgendering and harrassment, although don't get me wrong, plenty of transmisogynists do engage in such a way. but it can also be a subtle practice, something most tme people would not pick up on. like all systems of oppression, it can also be a learned behavior, one somebody witnesses happen (typically unpunished) and assumes is okay to recreate. one of the ways this can happen is through the objectification and sexualization of transfeminity. stereotypes are a common form of this. oftentimes, transfeminine characters are portrayed as violent and agressive, masculine and gruff, or as suave and predatory womanizers, sometimes a mixture of all three.

the warriors fandom does this often. there are several characters that are commonly headcanoned as transfem by the fandom, and most are victim to being portrayed this way. a few i can think of off the top of my head are cats like russetfur, crowfeather, mapleshade, darktail, tree, and yes...mothwing. mothwing is a bit of a special case, because i believe most people only headcanon her as transfeminine so they can ship her with leafpool (the ship commonly named mothpool) and imagine the two with biological kittens, in some aus, even as the three's parents.

this is a form of objectification already, although one might not catch onto it immediately. mothwing's transness is turned into a token, a special card to be exchanged to fit the fandom's idolized version of the ship. one could argue it could be interpreted as sexualization as well; while the warriors fandom tends to stray away from outright sexual portrayals of the cats (for good and obvious reasons), mothwing being transfem is still only done for the purpose of making her a cat with a penis, so she can have kits.

mothwing isn't canonically a particularly violent or angry cat, nor does she seem to be particularly romantic (she actually doesn't have a canon mate at all, being a medicine cat). however, in fandom based portrayals of her, she's often twisted to fit these stereotypes. sometimes she's designed to be large and masculine with the excuse of it being because she's a tigerkin, or sometimes she's portrayed as being very proud and open about her love of leafpool (who is often portrayed as shy and defenseless, practically hiding behind her). i've seen several aus with transfem mothwing in them "conveniently" include things like her formerly training as a warrior, or killing another cat (such as crowfeather) "for leafpool", or even portraying her as evil, typically falling to the manipulation of her father.

mothpool as a ship isn't really the issue here. it's the fandom's doing. the two have quite a few canon interactions that could be portrayed as romantic, and sure, it's really not my buisness what people ship as long as it's legal and all...but when you get exposed to so much hidden transmisogyny tied to one ship, as a victim of transmisogyny, you grow kinda wary of the ship as a whole. the few transfeminine people i've spoken to about this issue seemed to share my feelings as well. the moment i see a mothpool shipper mention making mothwing trans, i get shivers.

another point i'd like to make clear is that it's not every mothpool shipper doing this either, even out of the ones who do make her trans, i've met a few who portrayed it well and seemed very open and concerned about my views on transfem mothwing as a transfem person. i'm also certainly not saying you should go harrass people for shipping what they want, that's not my point nor is it helpful. as i've mentioned before, there's a good chance some of the people portraying mothpool in harmful ways like this don't fully realize what they're doing, and think it's okay because it's something they've seen before. i don't want those people to think they're bad for falling into those false beliefs, as long as they change them when they realize how they're offensive.

what i'm aiming to do here is give my two cents on why i generally dislike the ship as a transfeminine being myself, and to also spread awareness to why i feel that way. if i can make some people out there rethink some transmisogynist views they had perpetuated before, then my work is done well. as i'm finishing off this little essay of mine, i hope my message was explained clearly and gently, as it should be. see you guys in the next post, muyang out.

[eskildit]

okay not to be a lesbian who thinks violence is sexy but when I think about pash and cam fighting their way through merv wing. <3.

[gidle]

I read the lyrics of Wife and they're even worse than Queencard. I'm too afraid to listen to it, I can only hope that the rest of the album isn't like this nonsense. I miss their old music and lyrics, it was poetry in comparison to whatever they're doing now :(

Anon i wonder if you arrived at this blog in the past five minutes bc i have not been silent about wife. You’re barking at the wrong tree here.

I will always defend someone’s right to not vibe with the style of the song bc that’s personal taste. But if you say Wife has gibberish lyrics I’m assuming you rely very superficially on only English translations because KBS has deemed the song too sexual for broadcast, so it’s definitely not “nonsense”. It isn’t in English either. The mv, the styling, the lyrics, they’re all full of metaphor and satire (detailed here and here and here).

I don’t think you’ll like when you listen to the song because your mind seems already set. Honestly I don’t think you’ll like anything they put out because as you say, you miss their old sound and music, whatever you think that means. Nxde was just a comeback ago. Senorita and dumdi dumdi were terribly unserious. I don’t think latata and uh oh were that groundbreaking either. I do wonder if you’re the same anon I answered a while ago?

If you’re using pre and post Soojin as old and new I just think you need to be more honest with yourself about why you don’t like their new songs anymore. For the reasons stated above, I think it’s way beyond what you deem sensical lyrics and good music. Gidle has a wide range, they’re versatile and always with a new concept, to the point I’ve seen people calling them inconsistent. So if none of their very different to each other comebacks has been appealing to you, there can be other reasons than the ones you’re trying to rationalize. Soyeon will not produce gidle as it is now the same way she would as it were then. And I will miss Soojin in the group until I perish but it will never be because I want them to return to their old “better style”. I’d kill to see Soojin tomboying and queencarding.

I love the fun they bring to kpop. I love to see them act confidently “silly”. Even the silliness is debatable, as it is intentional, as it’s not mindless, because they ARE making statements, whether you recognize it or not, and also regardless if you approve of the way it is made. Gidle is thriving with a method a lot of groups can’t afford to. They’re grown women doing grown women business, they’re self made and self produced and paraphrasing one of the videos linked above, they’re not gonna say something unless they have something to say. They’re always innovating, they never follow a formula, there’s barely a pattern between comebacks except for the fact that it’s always them. It’s who they are and what they want to show. That’s what I love about them, that’s what makes every comeback interesting. And this has not changed, not even once.

[fatcowboys]

poll for my dimension 20 fans okay. obviously i cant include every season as an option so pls use tags for other answers and details BUT....

[wiseatom]

i tried for a well thought out post. instead you get this mess that i’m begging you not to twist:

the outraged cries of “cliques” are people being actual friends with each other. the people complaining about certain blogs or creators being on pedestals are usually the same people putting them there. i’m not one to belittle feelings - i understand where the upset is coming from. i even understand my place in it! but at the end of the day, we’re working ourselves up over what? notes? followers? hits on a fic? things based on luck and timing??

i can only speak for myself, but i work a full time job and i’m hard scheduled 45 hours a week. all of my free time goes towards fic writing, because that’s For Me and that’s what’s important for my mental health, and even then, i am usually too exhausted to do that. i would love to read fic and interact more! my to-read list is a mile long! it is just genuinely hard for me to find the time. i prioritize my friends because they are my friends — real, actual people i know beyond tumblr mutualship, who i talk to about more than just fic writing — and even then i am late getting around to it. i’m not saying this as a “woe is me, my life is hard” moment, but moreso trying to offer a perspective that is not even being thought of. and i get it, no one wants to hear it, because you’re frustrated, and being vocal about frustration feels nice (i know, bc here i am)!!

someone is going to come for my throat for making this post as a “big author” and “part of the clique we’re all vagueing” and maybe it’s juuuuust me but like. if you’re that unhappy, log off. if seeing a friend group you’re not part of interacting makes you unhappy, log off. if seeing the engagement other people get on their posts or fic or art makes you unhappy, log off. you cannot force people to interact with you or your creative work, and aggressively posting about it when they don’t is not inviting them to. i am begging you to stop having expectations of people you do not know, because at the end of the day, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.

[wolvierinez]

i drew this as a reminder to take a break from binding. i then proceeded to not stop binding.

[apiratefellinlovewithastar]

sending love and energy and good vibes to all my friends and mutuals and followers and anyone who sees this really <3

[alfea]

here’s some questions to ask

if you could change your height, would you?

what’s something that happened years ago that you’re still mad about?

what was your favourite musician/band when you were ten?

do you like sparkling water?

what’s the last album you listened to?

do you wear flip flops?

what time do you usually wake up in the morning?

if you could choose one language to instantly be fluent in, which one would you pick?

how long have you had your tumblr blog?

what was your dream job as a child and is it anything like your current job?

did you usually have a cafeteria lunch or a packed lunch in school?

do you pop your pimples?

if you could choose one celebrity/public figure to erase from history, who would it be?

how old were you when you first used youtube?

what was your first ever anime?

were you more into disney channel, nickelodeon, cartoon network, or pbs kids as a child?

if you could redo one year of high school, would you? and if so, which one?

if you could make one fictional character real, who would it be?

what video game have you put the most time into?

do you like doing jigsaw puzzles?

what’s your favourite dog breed?

do you prefer scented or unscented lotion?

were/are you a theater kid? if so, what’s your favourite play or musical?

do you collect anything unusual?

what’s your ideal weather and/or temperature?

would you rather take three five year olds or one fifteen year old in a fight?

how long did you live at your last address?

what’s your favourite sandwich?

have you ever had surgery?

what’s your least favourite pokemon?

do you have any accessories that you wear every day?

do you have plushies on your bed?

what’s your favourite lady gaga song?

do you prefer to make your own playlists or listen to ones that others have made?

were/are you ever able to find souvenirs with your name on them?

do you own a bike? if so, how often do you ride it?

do you prefer iced coffee or iced tea?

what’s your favourite big cat species?

when was/is your golden birthday?

have you ever run a stoplight while driving? if so, was it an accident or on purpose?

what family member, immediate or otherwise, do you get along with the best?

how many times have you cried in the last week?

do you prefer barbie dolls or bratz dolls?

how many shirts do you own in your favourite colour?

do you currently live in the state/province you were born in?

would you rather have bird wings or bat wings?

are you good at swimming?

if you could pick one craft to instantly be good at, which one would it be?

do you know how to play any trading card games (pokemon, yugioh, magic the gathering, etc)?

how long was your shortest relationship?

[marcsnuffy]

Using Lorenzo and Charles' interviews as reference, I'd love to see any assumptions of what Kaiser and Ness would answer here

[2hiit]

hello again, dashboard.

my name is jenga, and you might recognize me from @2hiit, @mikucaptor, @spellbookbindings, @oberonnie, @goodnatured, @uzufoxy, and @autochaton. if you do, you may have also noticed my various absences from the tumblrsphere in the last year or so. although i've been trying to stay as uninvolved from this as i can, i've reached my breaking point. this is in part due to the newest of the false allegations sunnie has lobbied against me, and in part due to the health of my wife, who was supposed to be wearing a heart monitor this month to track some irregular beating, but whose results have most definitely been skewed due to the repeated stress sunnie has been putting our family through this past week. 

this post will include every shred of evidence i have against sunnie (@sunniehub), with the hope that once i've said everything i can, i never have to address this again. i deserve peace. my family deserves peace. i have been forced to accept we will not get any if i continue to just wait for this to blow over.

sunnie runs the following blogs: 

sunniehub / carcins  / softdweller / 8ad / goresports / paiinball / w2f / stuckyfanfiction / w33dgod69 / diqqiebitch / hissassin / dowwn / eredan / hotdoxxed / apedshit / acabemy / mistaklen 

xe has been relentlessly block evading and stalking my various blogs, as well as attempting to tarnish my online reputation beyond repair with false accusations in an effort to drive me off of this site. i have been dealing with sunnie and xer inexcusable behavior ever since i blocked xem on january 2nd, 2023 for the sake of my mental health. i made a response post once before addressing these false allegations against me, but i now realize that will no longer be sufficient, as sunnie seems to be content with making up new and worse accusations when the previous ones fail to stick.

content warnings for this document include: mentions of r/pe, mentions of CSA, stalking, harassment, emotional abuse, gaslighting, guilt tripping, suicidal thoughts, and mentions of transphobia. there are also descriptions of physical stalking, as well as graphic descriptions of violence, but these things are warned for before they occur, and are skippable if need be.

over the course of THIS DOCUMENT, i’ll be showing you chat logs, screenshots, and data supporting the claims i’ve made about sunnie, as well as offering you some context as to how this situation came to be. this is quite an extensive log and i'm aware it may be hard to follow, and some of you may want to skip to the parts that are most striking to you. i have taken the liberty to include an outline in the sidebar for the ease of moving around the document at your own pace, and i’ll be using formatting to make it as neurodivergent friendly as i possibly can. please bear with me.

i truly believe sunnie is a danger to this community, most especially those xe interacts with on a regular basis, just like i once did.

[as a disclaimer: while i have censored sunnie's previous name, i will not be altering any outdated pronouns as they appear in our chat logs. this is to maintain the integrity of the logs and readability. i no longer use xer former pronouns or name, and there are plenty of people who can vouch for this fact.]

i will be temporarily disabling anonymous asks, because i will not be addressing this matter publicly any longer. when i do eventually re-able them, any asks pertaining to this post, or the events this post addresses, will be promptly deleted. replies, reblogs, and DMs are fine, but otherwise, i am considering this matter closed until further notice.

furthermore, i do not want to see any commentary, speculation, or prodding for details whatsoever regarding the individuals in this document whose identities i have censored. this is a stalking accusation. they are censored for their protection.

they are not the focus of this document, sunnie is.

[blu3berrydraws]

I remember when I was younger, think a decade or so ago, I would be thinking in posts. I'd be thinking in phrases that were palatable, I'd rephrase my thoughts and feelings five or more times, constructing the best way to communicate them online. My feelings weren't mine, they were public domain, because if I didn't share them, did they even exist?

I still do the same thing, to a point. I fear writing the wrong thing, not choosing the perfect sentence, writing something inane or superfluous, or not writing something I'm feeling in a raw or relatable enough way

I got scared of writing because I wouldn't be able to do it perfectly

I've lived my life avoiding experiences because my execution of them would be flawed, but perfection would equate enjoyment

I've deleted dozens of text posts because I couldn't phrase it correctly, or no one would care, or having feelings was a burden on others

I almost deleted this textpost halfway through because it felt like a rambling mess without a point. It's not succinct or structured, so what is a reader supposed to take away from this anyway?

but maybe the point was writing it and posting it and letting it be imperfect and idle, letting things exist just because they're there, not because they're exemplary