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hongjoongspoetry · 3 months

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Cold Hands, Warm Heart

Part 4 – Know It's For The Better

⛸️ Summary: Coming back with his tail tucked between his legs and an apology resting on his tongue wasn't something Mingi was keen to do, but witnessing you fall and hurt yourself on the domain you called home, all precautions were thrown out the window as he carried you to the nearest hospital.

⛸️ Pairing(s): Hockey Player!Mingi x Figure Skater!Reader, Figure Skater!Hyunjin x Figure Skater!Reader

⛸️ Genres/Tropes: College AU, non-idol AU, rivals to lovers but it's more like one-sided resentment, hockey AU, figure skating AU, angst, fluff

⛸️ Warnings/Tags: female reader, no use of (Y/N), explicit language, mild sports injury, hospital scene, one idiom referencing blood, crying, brief make out session (everything is consensual btw)

⛸️ Current wordcount: 12.4K

⛸️ Author's note: So sorry for the late update! I was out with my friends and completely forgot I should've posted the fourth part of Cold Hands, Warm Heart! It's also the last part that I've written before hand, so that means I don't know when the next part will be up, hehehe. Thank you for reading and enjoy!

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This is all fiction and not meant to represent any idols involved in any way or form. This work is NSFW and not appropriate for minors as it contains explicit scenes, not just sexual content but descriptions of both physical and verbal fights, as well as adult language. Minors and ageless blogs, please, refrain from reading or interacting with this work or my blog!!!

There wasn’t an instance in life where you thought you’d struggle with finding the motivation to figure skate again. The sport was your everything. It was like breathing, a natural part of your life, so to experience that blockage was quite suffocating.

In the meantime, your friends sufficed as oxygen masks, giving you support in their own ways. But the one to help you the most was Hyunjin, because at the end of the day, he was the one to get you out on that ice again. That was weeks ago, and you agreed to have more practices together as you both had things to achieve; you to reclaim the love for ice skating and he to win the pair division of the Spring Championship with Iseul. Thereon out, Monday mornings were reserved for skating as neither had classes until the afternoon.

You were already out of bed at seven AM and had a little time to spare. Turning on the TV in your living room, you listened to the weather channel announcing an unexpected snowstorm that hit overnight and showed no signs of stopping, creating havoc in the city. Transportation lines were being put on paus and traffic hit every street in Seoul. The misfortune of not having a vehicle turned into luck as you were the first to arrive on time to the practice, but Hyunjin was still stuck in his car a few minutes away from the arena. The usual five minute drive would at least take him thirty minutes as read in his text.

Trying to make time pass faster you decided to start early with the warm up. Already clad in your training attire, all you had to do was fix your hair, put on the skates and stretch a little. As you were securing the ties the doors opened and the shifting sound had you turning around.

“I thought you said you’d be thirty minutes la–” The words died in your throat at the sight of Mingi.

As your eyes locked, the air grew thinner until you thought your lungs were playing tricks on you and not pulling in the air you were so desperately seeking. Taking him in, you couldn’t help but hate how calm and collected he looked. His chest rose gently with each intake of oxygen, taunting you like usual.

“Is the rink yours?” He finally asked and the invisible ball resting in your throat vanished but even then you opted with a non-verbal reply, just a little nod of your head.

You had gone great lengths to avoid him, hurtful words stored up in the back of your mind waiting patiently to catapult at the first encounter with him and now that he was a mere three meters in front of you, there was nothing in your head, it all went up in smoke, ceased to completely exist!

“Okay.”

“Fucking hell,” you cursed after he disappeared into the locker room.

Cold to the touch, you covered your blazing cheeks with your hands and dragged the skin in a downward motion exposing the hidden part of your eyeballs. Everything was fine, you were fine, completely-prima-perfect, you thought and tried to calm down. You just had to imagine he wasn’t there, he was still in the snowy mountains doing stupid stunts and drinking his liver away, yeah!

Sitting down on the floor, you started with some light stretches, nothing too explicit but enough to get your body going until Hyunjin arrived. Moving from one position to another your muscles were slowly warming up and you decided to finish it off with a groin stretch.

Maneuvering your legs into a V position, you slowly inched closer to the ground, arms stretched out and head facing the floor. You felt a burning yet nice feeling in your inner thighs and kept the position a little while longer. It felt so nice you didn’t notice Mingi coming back. A black compression shirt tucked into his sleazy gray sweatpants that were hanging dangerously low on his hips, sneaking looks at you for a good five minutes. The sight of you folded in half had his mind wandering down the slippery slope of sin and he almost forgot why he was resisting the need to pester you.

“What?”

The squeaked question brought him out of his daze and he was quick to avert his gaze on the ice, praying you’d think nothing of the tint on his cheeks and accusing it as a side effect of the low temperature.

“Nothing.”

“The rink is mine,” you quickly snapped.

“Don’t worry I’ll wait til you’re done.”

You hated everything about him. You hated how he turned hot and cold with the flip of a switch, how he made your insides explode with butterflies, and how he set fire to your veins. Most importantly, you hated how you kind of missed him.

“You’ll be waiting a long time, bud,” Hyunjin answered and sent you a quick smile. Neither noticed the figure skater sneak in, all dressed and almost ready to go. In a matter of seconds he got rid of his outer clothing and secured the skates on his feet.

“Shall we?” He held his hand out, palm upward and calling for yours.

With a lump in your throat, you ever so gently allowed his soft hands to hold yours and guide you to the slippery floor. Mingi huffed and slumped down on the bench right outside the board doors. Anyone walking by would think he was too engrossed in his new stick to notice the beautiful performance taking place right in front of his eyes, but in reality his attention was on you. He wanted to bash his own head in.

Of course you weren’t going to be there alone and of course that asshole had to be there too. Why wouldn’t he? You two were a thing now, a couple with a popping ‘P’.

You dominated the ice together. Hyunjin’s hand rested on your waist and traveled to your arms and legs, and other placements that had Mingi’s temperature rising. Oh, no one would understand how much he wanted to storm the rink and separate you two. Throw the male figure skater around like a cat playing with its toys, but he couldn’t. He fucked it up all those weeks ago.

So Mingi sat and did what he said he’d do. He waited.

If only Yunho hadn’t harassed him to leave their apartment, then he wouldn't be forced to watch the pair twirling with imaginary hearts and stars floating around them. That also meant he wouldn’t have crossed paths with you which seemed to be impossible considering you turned into a ghost since the explosion of an argument. Mingi heard nothing and saw nothing of you throughout the whole winter break and it continued into the first couple of school weeks too. It was nice, at first. Having enough time to think about other things than the girl who occupied his mind every waking hour, but after a few days there was nothing more to think about and only then did Mingi realize how deep of a hole you carved into his heart.

Taking the white tape beside him, he tore a small piece of it and stuck it to the blade of his stick, right in the middle. He contemplated whether to write something or just leave it blank. Mingi was always the guy who snickered as his teammates wrote the initials of their partners and not once did he imagine a day where he’d replace his signature ‘fix on’ — he came up with it during middle school and thought it was cool — for some random letters, but there he was, scribbling down the first acronyms of your full name.

Shifting his gaze from the poor handwriting to you, his heart skipped a beat as Hyunjin grabbed you by your hips and raised you up in the air all while skating backwards. It looked magical and so professional, as if you were ready for the Olympics. Mingi knew the crowd would go wild at the two of you and a subconscious smile graced his face as your arms extended horizontally. You looked happy and despite the feud that took place right after his game, Mingi liked that glow on you.

Dread overtook the glee on your face and Mingi watched as every athlete’s nightmare came to life. Hyunjin’s grip slipped from your waist and your abdomen crashed against his shoulder, the gravity dragging you down. The figure skater managed to wrap his arms around your thighs saving you from going head first on the ice and suffering a concussion, but your body weight threw him off balance and you both went down either way. On instinct your arms shot out to welcome the ground with your palms yet somehow your right forearm took the first blow. On the ice, Hyunjin quickly turned you over on your back, careful not to cause more harm.

Blood rushed to Mingi’s ears as he realized you weren’t standing up and instead squirmed around, clutching your elbow closed to your chest with hot tears cascading down your cheeks. His new stick was thrown to the ground and he was by your side in seconds.

“I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry,” Hyunjin repeated over and over again and Mingi had half a mind not to punch him across the face until his teeth left trails of crimson on the ice, like a spilled strawberry slushie.

Not wanting to think of the hundred different ways he could obliterate the handsome figure skater, he focused on you. The more important matter at hand.

“Move if you’re not going to do anything,” he snapped and pushed Hyunjin with his shoulder.

As gently as his big build allowed him to, Mingi picked you up which earned teary winces from you that nearly had him pressing his lips against your temple.

“I have a car I can drive her to the ER,” Hyunjin said in panic. Poor guy couldn’t think straight, all he wanted to do was help and calm the bubbling guilt inside.

“The streets are packed, you’d help nothing by stuffing her in a car.”

“And what, you think you can just carry her wherever it is you’re going?”

Trying to keep his composure and not deck the pretty boy right in the face, Mingi replied curtly, “Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.”

“I’m not just going to let you take her like th–”

Mingi was really starting to regret his decision of playing the good and understanding guy. “No one is fucking asking for your permssion now get the fuck out of my way!”

In another circumstance Mingi would jam his shoulder into Hyunjin’s, but not right now. Not with you in his arms, silently crying with each little movement of his.

“I gotchu, it’s alright. Just hang on a little longer, yeah princess?”

Before he pushed open the doors with his hips, Mingi glanced out of the window and winced at the snow. It wasn’t anywhere near as hectic as earlier, but it was still reaching minus degrees and your thin clothes would do nothing to keep you warm.

“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath.

His options were few and it wasn’t like his car was parked around the corner (he didn’t have a car nor a driver’s license). On the bright side, the hospital was just a ten minute walk, although you’d manage to freeze to death by the time you’d arrive.

“You with me?”

You quickly nodded.

“Okay, good. It’s cold out so I need to fetch you a jacket. I’ll just put you down on the bench, yeah?”

“Okay,” you sniffled and wiped at your cheeks with the uninjured arm.

Mingi ran to the locker room, feet carrying him quicker than ever, snatched his jacket from the rack and ran back out. He put it around your shoulders, the material eating you up, and guided your healthy arm through one hole while the other was still up against your chest. After zipping it up he gently put one arm on your lower back and the other beneath your knees, carrying you like a bride to Seoul Hospital.

“Where are we going?” You asked as the cold snow petals landed on your face and hair.

You couldn’t find it in you to feel bad for taking Mingi’s jacket and leaving him with nothing, the pain flaring in your elbow held all your attention and you weren’t even thinking of anything really, just hoping your bones hadn’t shattered at impact.

“To the hospital.”

Mingi breathed out a cloud of hot air. His nose, ears and hands were already turning red, but he didn’t mind. Light snowflakes landed on his hair and you wanted to run your fingers through it.

“By foot?”

“Yes, like a true knight in shining armor.”

Your bottom lip wobbled and you started crying harder. The hot tears started to freeze on your cheeks, and you could only imagine what a horrifying view Mingi had. As if the guilt in your stomach wasn’t enough, now you were feeling self conscious too.

“I’m– I’m sorry. That was stupid.”

Shaking your head because you couldn’t get the words out that; no, you weren’t crying for his teasing (if that were the case then they would be tears of joy because hell, did you miss it) you were crying because everything was so wrong. You had been in the arms of the perfect guy for weeks and yet you felt nothing. No heart going crazy, heat rushing to your cheeks or stomach fluttering with pretty butterflies, just static.

It wasn’t anything compared to how you were feeling now, warm, comfortable and content despite the ache in your arm and the whooping breezes slapping your face. Swept off your feet in Mingi’s embrace.

In the hospital you were immediately assigned to a room and told to wait for the doctor who’d run some tests. You weren’t the biggest fan of hospitals, it was something about their atmosphere that made you queasy. The overly white walls, the faint smell of disinfection and just eriness of people walking in cloaks and hospital masks covering their faces. It didn’t matter how much resources went into decorating the place, it was still nauseating and it didn’t help that you were supposed to sit alone for God knows how long until someone came to check on you.

An orange blanket covered your legs and a pack of baby wipes were in your hands that you used to remove the mess of tears and make-up on your skin. They didn’t give you anything to ease the pain and your phone, along with all your other stuff, was left at the arena, leaving you with no entertainment. Your skates were by the floor leaning against the bed and Mingi’s jacket was returned to him the moment you settled into the room. Mingi was probably long gone too, and the thought left a lump in your throat. Just when you thought life couldn’t get any brighter the door slid to the side and in came the person you were thinking of, a mini-bag of chips falling from the mountain of other snacks in his arms.

“Uh, they had a vending machine out front and I–uh, didn’t know if you were hungry and they also had a bunch of stuff but I don’t know what you liked so I just grabbed a bit of everything.”

You watched tentatively as Mingi clamped his mouth shut and shuffled to the hospital bed, gently letting the snacks fall on your lap. You didn’t say anything, not entirely sure what to make of the whole situation and looked at the different snacks he brought. The bag of choco-chips really looked appetizing. From the corner of your eyes you noticed he was balancing on the balls of his feet and realized this must have been as awkward for him as it was for you. Trying to play if cool, you grabbed the choco-chips and held them, finding them working as an anchor.

“Thank you.”

Mingi bit his lower lip, hiding the grin daring to come out, and took a bag for himself and sat down on the chair left of the bed facing you, feet extended and elbows propped up on the armrest.

“Ah, I almost forgot these.” Out of the pocket of his sweats, he handed you a carton of banana milk. “They were out of the strawberry ones.”

Snapping your eyes up to his which were set on the drink in his hand, you couldn’t hide the surprise on your face.

“How do you know I like the strawberry ones?”

“Because you drink anything with strawberries in it,” he replied nonchalantly as if it was a common fact known worldwide.

Mingi made himself comfortable and munched away on the shrimp chips. You were confused. The longer you tried wrapping your head around it, the more questions popped up. He was aware he didn’t have to sit there with you, right? Sensing your eyes staring at him, he met your gaze and cleared his throat.

“What?”

“You don’t have to sit here.”

“I know.” Another piece was thrown into his mouth. “Do you want me to leave?”

Parting your lips to answer the doors opened again. This time a man with a white cloak draped over his blue scrubs stepped into the room, a paperclip in hand and a stethoscope around his neck. With little to no small talk and after asking Mingi to step out, the doctor began his examination.

“There is some good news and some bad news,” he revealed and adjusted his glasses. “The good news is that nothing in the arm is broken, however you’re suffering a rough case of an elbow contusion which can take up to four weeks of healing time depending on how much stress you put on it. There’s no prescription for such injuries and the biggest advice we can give is to rest for a few days. You can pick up painkillers at the pharmacy and if there are any further complications then you are to immediately return.”

Mingi waited outside — almost hovering over the door hadn’t the three passing nurses told him to take a seat — as he wasn’t family or an immediate relative to you. The impulsive idea to lie about being your boyfriend crossed his mind, but it would be rather awkward to explain why the doctor suddenly had a change of heart.

“Mingi-ya!” Yunho jogged down the hallway wearing mismatched clothes, eyes wide and blonde hair unkempt. Your sneakers were in his hands, adding onto his already rowdy outfit. He immediately crouched in front of Mingi and took hold of his arms, scanning them for injuries and moved up along his head. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, it's not me who got hurt.”

The tension in his shoulders relaxed at the admission and he allowed himself a breather since the unexpected phone call woke him up. Yunho didn’t know how he managed to get there without causing multiple accidents, the boy was driving on sole muscle memory.

“Dude, you can’t just tell me to come to the ER without an explanation. I thought you got a concussion or someone was dying!”

“Sorry, I just panicked and you were the first on my recents… Nice outfit you got going on,” Mingi teased and caressed his non-existent mustache to hide a smile.

Glancing down at his attire — black shoes with yellow socks, a red hoodie, gray sweatpants and a black coat — Yunho let out the biggest sigh Mingi had ever heard in their fifteen-something-year long friendship and plopped down on the empty chair beside him. Yunho looked ridiculous and would fit right in a skittles commercial.

“Don’t say anything, I just threw on random shit and left. I don't even know if I locked the door or not… Who’s in there anyway, couldn’t BM or Jungkook pick you up?”

What Yunho didn’t expect was for you to come out with your arm in a slingshot and puffy eyes distracting him from your friendly smile. Both boys stood up, shoulders bumping and floor squeaking beneath their feet.

“Uhm, hey, I’m Yunho. Mingi’s friend.”

You recognized him as the guy in Mingi’s Instagram posts. Offering him a handshake, which he mistook as you reaching for your shoes, you introduced yourself.

“I know who you are, Mingi’s been talking abou–”

“What did the doctor say?” Mingi abruptly interrupted Yunho and stepped closer to you, mouth pursed and brows slightly curved downward.

His eyes were set on the slingshot supporting your arm, and you liked to think it had something to do with what Yunho was saying. A tingle sparked his fingertips, ordering him to reach out and gently caress your skin, but he withheld, afraid you’d crumble at contact.

“It’s just an elbow contusion.”

And at that moment all the air was knocked out of Mingi’s lungs. You spoke of it as if it was a minor inconvenience.

As if his heart didn’t jump in his throat or stomach didn’t tie itself in knots.

As if he couldn’t breathe for the torturously slow seconds you fell to the ground and only moved at your pained wailing.

As if the chewed skin around his thumbs were out of boredom and not concern for your well-being.

Having known Mingi since Yunho could remember, it was easy to read between the lines of his small habits: biting his lip to keep from laughing, getting physically clingy when jealous or wanting something, touching his hair when nervous and like now, growing stiff when at unease, and other traits that strangers wouldn’t bat an eye at.

“How are you doing now?” Yunho asked from behind Mingi and shot you a tightlipped smile.

You shrugged. “Nothing’s broken.”

A beat of silence later, Mingi spoke again, “Come on, Yunho’s driving us to grab your stuff and then to get you home.”

With the touch of a ghost on your shoulder, he guided you outside with Yunho right behind. Exhausted and wanting to go home, you didn’t try talking them out of it by insisting to just let you take a cab. You hated the fluttering thing your heart did as Mingi walked beside you like a scary dog ready to bark at anyone crossing the invisible circle of your personal space. Soft music played from the speakers and the two guys occasionally got into some small talk, Yunho trying his best to include you in it with questions of your major and hobby. To your relief the drive didn’t take long.

“Wait here, I’ll get your stuff.” Mingi unbuckled his seatbelt, but you were already out of the vehicle.

“There’s no need for that. I still have two functioning legs.” Gaze shifted to the driver, “Thank you for the drive, Yunho-ya. You don’t have to wait, okay? I’ll call my friend to pick me up.”

“You sure? I don’t have anything to do, I can take you home.”

“No, no, it’s fine, I promise.”

With one last ‘thank you’ and ‘goodbye’, you gently closed the car door and hurried inside. In the haste of getting out of the vehicle, you forgot your skates and Mingi wasted no time snatching them up and running after you. Staring through the window, you noticed the empty ice was now full of hockey boys doing drills. All traces of you and Hyunjin were erased, as if you were never there to begin with. It didn’t surprise you that he left either, who’d wait almost two hours for you anyway?

“Yo, Mingi!”

You jumped at the loud smack of a puck colliding with the board and stared impassively at the hockey player that skidded to a stop on the other side of the plexiglas. He raised his head gear — the facade behind was someone you were unfamiliar with — and smirked at Mingi who nearly clung to you like a mosquito thirsty for blood.

“Coach reserved you ten suicides for being late.”

The stranger banged on the translucent surface and returned back to practice, and if it weren’t for your hurting elbow or downturned mood, you’d say something smart and give him one of your glares, but you didn’t. The faster you got your stuff, the quicker you’d get a hold of Keeho and be on your way home.

Continuing down the familiar path to the changing rooms, you halted in the entryway as you saw Jungkook locking a door behind him. His eyes trailed over your figure and then let his gaze jump between you and Mingi (he was still persistently sticking to your side). Although Jungkook was known for being dirty minded and quite foolish, the boy wasn’t oblivious to the tension presented in the room. It also didn’t stop him from being his shitty-self.

“Bringing your girlfriend and being late,” Jungkook whistled. “Coach’s not gonna like that, Song.”

The remark was aimed to prance on Mingi’s nerves, yet your insides fluttered at the term. Maybe it didn’t sound that bad. Being Mingi’s girlfriend. You mentally slapped yourself for allowing your mind to wander.

“Piss off, coconut head.”

That he did and snickered as he tauntingly patted Mingi’s shoulder, and whispered an encouragingly, “Go get your lamb.” Pun wholeheartedly intended.

Mingi leaned against the wall and waited as you disappeared into the changing room. He realized there was a lot of waiting when it came to you, but he wouldn’t really have it any other way. You eventually came back out wrapped in your own outerwear and Mingi’s jacket in your hold. The leather one was still neatly thrown over your chair in your bedroom, waiting to be returned to its rightful owner. You both stopped idly by the door and just stared at each other. Now that no one was there — no Yunho, no Hyunjin, no doctors, nurses or annoying teammates — the atmosphere returned to a thick and awkward silence. It’d sure be handy to have some mind reading abilities, you’d do anything for even a speck of insight in Mingi’s mind.

He silently handed you the skates and in return, you gave him back his jacket.

“Thanks.”

It came out as a whisper and you weren’t even sure he heard it. The overwhelming feeling of not wanting to be in debt, especially not to Mingi, who clearly said he didn’t want anything to do with you, had you opening your mouth again.

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“Do what?”

He pushed off the wall, hands buried deep in his sweats, and his gaze finally landed on you. Fiddling with your fingers and suddenly growing nervous, you explained yourself.

“Wait at the hospital. I could’ve walked home or caught a cab.”

“I wasn’t about to let you walk home barefoot. It’s not a big deal and Yunho loves to help. I'm pretty sure he’s already grown fond of you.”

“Mingi-ya–”

It was the first time you called him by his name since the (one-sided) fight and God did he love it. Starstruck by the way it rolled off your tongue, he nearly tuned out on the rest of your sentence.

“–you've never missed practice and you definitely shouldn’t start doing it for some girl.”

“Stop talking like that.”

The command was firm, yet lacked the heat you remembered from that night, and came out far more tender than you expected. As if your statement physically hurt him.

“Like what?”

“Like you’re just some girl. I wouldn’t do half the shit I did if you were just some girl.”

You parted your lips to speak, but nothing came out and you closed your mouth only to open it again.

“Yunho’s waiting for you outside and don’t argue, he’s taking you home because he wants to and because I need to know you’re safe.”

As you walked out together, a little too close for there not to be anything between you, immature cheers sounded from the practicing group of boys.

“Fucking ignore them, lousy assholes, I swear to God.” Before Mingi could make sure you got into Yunho’s car and wouldn’t bolt, an older and gruffer voice called for him.

“Shit,” he whispered and closed his eyes, the reality of where he was and what he missed, sinking in. He faced you again, staring at you as if he was holding back, but from what you didn’t know. “I’ll… see ya around?”

You nodded, knowing that you’d do everything and anything to not let that happen. It irked you how he could ignore you and then turn back to normal as if nothing was wrong. Who said you even wanted to see him again? Definitely not your aching heart.

Glancing down at your phone, you immediately filtered through the hundred texts waiting to be opened. A few from Dasom wondering where you were and if she should bring take out for dinner. Next was Keeho talking about some movie and recommending it for the next sleepover, then calling you out for quote-unquote ghosting him for hours, and most recently were the texts from Hyunjin.

Hyunjin [9:04 AM] im so so sorry

Hyunjin [9:04 AM] fuck i swear i didnt mean to, idek what happened but im so sorry

Hyunjin [9:15 AM] did you go to the hospital?

Hyunjin [9:15 AM] what did the doctors say?

Hyunjin [9:16 AM] please dont let it be anything serious

Hyunjin [9:55 AM] text me when you see this please

The snow had stopped falling by the time you responded to Hyunjin’s texts, quickly agreeing to meet up with him in a park not too far from your neighborhood. Dasom, reluctant to let you out of her sight, forced her pinky around yours with the promise you wouldn’t be gone for long, as if you could ever go against her puppy eyes. Wearing a thick jacket covering you from head to toe and a beanie and scarf, you ventured out into the Korean version of Antarctica. The short-lived walk was spent replaying the accident. The feel of Hyunjin’s hand slipping from your hip, the painful collision, and the sudden yet comforting and quite confusing appearance of Mingi.

Recognizing you from meters away, Hyunjin hastily stood up from his seat on the wooden bench and jogged towards you. He quickly, but very gently, closed the distance between you, his arms coming around you with utmost care, not to cause you more harm, and you reciprocated the hug with your healthy arm slinking around his waist.

“I’m so, so sorry,” he whispered into the side of your head and shakily inhaled your scent, as if to calm down. You looked alright, but he was still quite shaken from the incident.

The timber in his voice pierced your heart. It wasn’t his fault, and you didn’t blame him for it.

Taking hold of your shoulders, his fingers shook as they curled around your body and carefully pushed you back. He stared at you with waves of remorse and guilt. You didn’t like those emotions on him; they made his eyes somber and his charming lips bland in that down-curved form.

“It’s okay, Hyunjin. It’s nothing serious.”

“Don’t say that. You put your trust in me and I dropped you. My most important task, my only task and I fucked it up. It could’ve ended so much worse.”

Clasping one of his hands in yours, you gave it a comforting squeeze. “But it didn't, and I’m fine. It’s just a bruised elbow. Nothing serious, alright? Athletes get it all the time, you of all people should know that, you absolute prodigy.”

The attempt to lighten the mood worked as his mouth curled up in a wobbly smile. You weren’t lying when you said it wasn’t anything serious. You still had movement in your hand and fingers, and the rest of your arm wasn’t hurting, unless you walked into a cabinet or door, but that would hurt with or without an elbow contusion.

“I’m still sorry.”

“And, although I never harbored any resentment, I forgive you.”

You understood where Hyunjin was coming from; heck, you’d be feeling the exact same in his shoes. The base for pair skating was built on a sturdy foundation of trust and comfort. A flicker of doubt was enough to chip at the cement, turning it unstable and weak, eventually leading to its collapse. Mistakes were a part of the figure skating experience, and although you poured your whole trust in Hyunjin, it didn’t mean you were an exception to them.

“Does this mean we can no longer practice together?” You asked with a pout and Hyunjin could melt on the spot, like a popsicle forgotten on a summer day.

“No, I’d love to continue our sessions, preferably after your elbow’s all healed up.”

“What?! But I already cleared my schedule for you tomorrow.” The deadpanned look he shot you had you bursting with laughter. “I’m just messing with you.”

“Of course you’re.”

Somewhere between the chatter, you occupied the bench again. Talking to Hyunjin came more naturally now. No stuttering or a heart threatening to pop out of your chest, or a face burning hotter than the seven rings of hell. You warded off the replay of your and Dasom’s conversation for the time being and just enjoyed the comfortable air surrounding you.

“Remember when I asked if you and Mingi were friends?”

You snapped your head to the side, brows high on your face and eyes curious as to where he was going with that. Of course you remembered. After all, it was the first time you did anything outside of figure skating together and your weak heart could barely process it without going into palpitation.

With an affirmative nod, Hyunjin continued.

“And you said that you were far from it?”

Another nod.

“I have a feeling you’re wrong about that.”

“What do you mean?”

Hyunjin sat in silence, contemplating whether he should take back his words or just tell you what he saw. It wouldn’t be fair to act as if the worry stretched across your features was just a speck of Hyunjin’s imagination.

“When I dropped you he was right there.”

“Yeah, well he watched us practice–”

“No. I mean, he came out of thin air. I’ve never seen someone move so fast in my life, like I didn’t even get to react before he had you in his arms and barking orders at me. For a second there, I thought he was going to bite my head off,” Hyunjin chuckled, but the humor was swept away with the cold wind.

Of all the things he could say, that wasn’t what you expected and all you could offer him was a blank stare. At a loss for words, you couldn’t believe what you were hearing. Was he even talking about the right Mingi? The Mingi who’d been ignoring you since forever, the Mingi who dumped all his hatred on you and didn’t even explain why?

Hyunjin took it as his memo to keep talking. “And the look in his eyes whenever they land on you…”

You pictured your grave being dug with an empty casket beside.

“It’s the only thing he and I have in common.”

The feel of someone tearing a hole in your ribcage hurt like fire burning your skin, and a thousand needles prickled your heart as the hand tightly wrapped around it.

“You don’t have to say anything. I already know I’ve lost the chance I had with you a long time ago.”

And as the beating organ was yanked out, you flinched and fell to your knees.

“Hyunjin–”

“It’s okay,” he interrupted, a sad smile taking over his beautiful face, and your lips wobbled in return. “You, too, have that look when you see him.”

“What look?”

You sounded desperate, as if you were forcing yourself not to understand his words, even though somewhere deep inside you knew what he was hinting at. But playing a fool was easier than accepting reality. Blinded by your own sadness, you couldn’t stop mourning the idea of what could have been and it stung to know that the guy you’d been pining over for a good year or so liked you back, but the timing wasn’t on either of your sides.

“It’s the one you have when you’re on the ice. Relaxed, happy and… at home.”

You wanted to deny it. Tell him he was wrong. To tell him Mingi was nothing but a pain in your ass. A nuisance you hadn’t been able to get rid off since your first day in college, but you couldn’t. As you once again had nothing to say, Hyunjin stood up.

“Let’s go. I’ll walk you home.”

You stayed seated like a kicked puppy not wanting to leave its sick owner or family that was about to abandon it. With a soft call of his name, he turned and patiently waited. No remorse or grief on his perfectly sculpted face.

“I’ve noticed the things you’ve done for me, when I was bummed out because of the preliminaries… and I just wanted you to know, that I appreciate it and… and that I’m sorry.”

“I never harbored any resentment, but I forgive you.”

Hyunjin’s words tormented you for days on end, although it wasn’t his confession that you couldn’t get out of your head, but rather his odd observation. There was no way it could be true. One drive to the hospital didn’t suddenly mean Mingi was head over heels for you. If you went by that logic, you’d assume his friend liked you too, considering the tall man was right beside you. It didn’t matter that five, ten or fifteen people told you the same thing, until Song Mingi himself didn’t come out and say it, then it simply wasn’t true.

If anyone asked why you ate in empty classrooms on the other side of campus or studied on the rooftop, you’d come up with a good enough excuse that sounded believable. Because you’d never admit to be hiding from a certain hockey player who held the fearful answer to your doubts.

Everything was surprisingly playing in your favor which was about time. Your days on campus were never spent alone as Dasom or Keeho kept you company, even if it meant running late to their own classes or missing out on lunch with their classmates. The injury that was bad luck turned to good luck as you had no reason to go to the ice rink, the one place you knew you wouldn’t be able to avoid him or a very attractive figure skater for that record either.

It was the fifth day of Operation avoid Song Mingi at all costs and so far everything was going as planned. The lamppost was nowhere in sight and you willed yourself to relax on the walk home from a late night study session with Keeho and Dasom at the library.

“You can’t run from him forever,” said Dasom from beside you, arms locked and shoulders touching.

The red head disagreed with your tactic the moment you explained the plan. In great old Dasom fashion she hit you with a quote of some poet you couldn’t bother to remember the name if, it went something like; all that is hidden in snow, comes out in thaw.

“Good thing I’m not running, now am I?”

Keeho walked behind you guys and chewed on a strawberry twizzler. A loud snort cut through the air.

“Hiding, running, fleeing, you name it, babes.”

If it weren’t for Dasom’s hold on you, you’d deliver a punch to his stomach or kick his shin.

“Oh, fuck you, horseface!”

Dramatic as his zodiac sign, he gasped loudly and called for reinforcement. “Did you hear that, sugar? She just cursed at me!”

Dasom giggled at Keeho’s banter but her expression fell at the figure outside your apartment complex.

“What’s your plan then? Because I’m certain that’s him,” she pointed at Mingi who leaned against the brick wall, “leaning against our apartment and oh– is he looking at us?”

Fast as lightning, you whipped your head forward and immediately met eyes with the man you had been trying so hard to evade.

“Mm-mm, not at us, Dae-Dae. He’s looking at her which reminds me, Jiung said he needed help with his essay. You coming?” Keeho asked, not giving her time to answer or you to protest as he snatched Dasom’s wrist and began walking in the direction of his friend’s house.

The call of their names died in your throat and as you moved to follow them, Mingi quickly pushed off the wall and stopped before you, jaw set and eyes hard, staring daggers at you behind his fringe.

He looked different, was your first thought, but there was no literal change to his appearance. His hair was still that two-colored tone and the clothes were the same — a jacket thrown over his team hoodie and baggy pants — the rings on his fingers didn’t look new and you even recognized the skull shaped one. He had a matching bag slung over his shoulder that was half-way open and full of hockey equipment, the only thing missing was his stick.

Glancing back at him, the black horn rimmed glasses perched on his nose caught you off guard. Such a small detail that made him look so different yet the same and it was enough to send your heart soaring, badum-ing a tenfold faster than usual. The sudden change in temperature felt as if the seasons were filtering abruptly, jumping from winter to late-summer in seconds, and the thick sweater beneath your jacket was starting to itch. You didn’t care if it was minus ten degrees outside, you needed it off.

“Aren’t you going to run?”

Mingi quite literally snapped you out of your daydream. “I– Uhm… I’m sorry, what?”

“No, I just thought you’d be bolting the second you saw me as you’ve been doing the past week.”

Mingi raised a brow at your lack of response, and chuckled out a dry laugh. It dawned on you that your five day streak of avoiding him was only successful because he let it happen. Mingi was a lot of things, but he wasn’t stupid. He knew you were hiding from him the moment he couldn’t find you in any of your usual spots and even more so after Intak — a mutual friend of Mingi and Keeho — couldn’t get any answers out of the English literature major. Deciding to be kind, he didn’t pressure you at first. Acknowledging the fact that you maybe needed time, just like he needed weeks ago, he granted you that as it was the least he could do.

He eyed the slingshot around your arm, and his exterior softened as he remembered the last time you spoke.

“How’s your elbow?”

Never the one to keep up with his hot and cold behavior, you sighed at the switch from passive-aggressive to worrisome questions.

“What are you doing here?” You demanded, completely disregarding his concern.

“I’m here to see you.”

As much as your body tingled at the sight of him, you really didn’t want to talk. No matter what he had to say, you didn’t want to hear it. How silly of you to think he’d let you slip by after a week of radio silence.

“Move.”

“I know everyone bends at your command, princess, but not me.”

Pink and red camellias bloomed in your stomach at the title, but you refused to let them grow out on your skin and mirror your internal feelings.

“Don’t call me that.”

“Why are you avoiding me?”

“I’m not avoiding you,” you gritted through your teeth.

“Then what do you call it when you do an one-eighty whenever we lock eyes across the school yard, princess?”

“I’m not up for this, Mingi.”

Once again you tried to move past him only for Mingi to step in your way.

“And you think I am? I wouldn’t be freezing my ass off on a Tuesday night for fun.”

The guy treated you like shit since the first time he saw you skating, always finding new ways to get under your skin and turn your day from good to bad with just one word. Mingi knew he wasn’t worthy of your time and the least he could do was grant you the wish of leaving you alone. But he also knew if he did that, if he walked away, he wouldn’t get another chance to say what was on his mind.

Giving up wasn’t something Mingi was used to and even in the toughest of times, he always gave it his all, be it on the rink or daily struggles. Yet seeing the options of running or staying tear you apart had him considering doing just what he’d never done. With an almost defeated sigh, he stuffed his frozen hands in the pockets of his jacket.

“If you really want me to go, say the words and I’ll leave.”

You licked your lips and when Mingi thought you’d cave in, you walked past him and unlocked the door to the building. He closed his eyes and mentally cursed his stupid mouth for offering such stupid ideas. Of course you’d choose anything beside hearing him out. It was quite funny, you were always running when it came to him, weren’t you?

“You coming?”

The question startled him out of his disappointed thoughts and as he turned around, you were still there, arm holding the door open and lips pursed as if you were second guessing your decision. Just in case that was true, he quickly muttered out an affirmative response and scrambled through the opening.

The awkward silence followed you on the elevator ride up to your floor and into the apartment. Everything about this was awkward, thinking back to the party, the declined kiss, your fight, and the trip to the hospital.

“Nice place,” he said and whether it was to cut through the silence or a genuine compliment you’d never know.

“Dasom’s in charge of the interior.”

A vague image of a girl with red curls crossed his mind and the cherry curtains, and the identical fruit pillow told him as much.

“Yeah, I can see that.”

You dropped your bag somewhere between the multiple shoes by the doorway and leaned against the wall in the living room, arms crossed and face stoic. Mingi stood in the middle of the living room, his jacket still on and ears visibly red from the cold outside.

“You wanted to talk, right? Then talk. Explain why you’re here.”

You didn’t bother sitting down, the faster you got the conversation started, the sooner he could leave and you could jump in bed, hopefully forgetting the whole interaction. Mingi copied your stance and raised both of his brows, the stupidly handsome smirk coming through.

“You already know… why have you been ignoring me?”

“Not this again. I’m not, when will you get that through your thick skull?”

“Tell me what I did.”

You remained silent at his persistence. Blood slowly boiling and heart slamming against your ribcage. It was hard to keep your composure, especially when Mingi knew all the right buttons to press. If you didn’t keep your jaw shut it would just be a reenactment of the hockey game and you were not up for another screaming fit.

“Was it the snarky comments?”

He took a step forward.

“I doubt it’s because I call you princess…”

He advanced again.

“Maybe you’re angry I crashed your date with Mr. Perfect?”

You could feel the buzzing heat from his body as he almost closed the distance between you. Slowly and as gently as his limbs allowed him to, he trapped your chin between his thumb and index finger, slightly pushing it upward to peer into your eyes. As if searching for discomfort or disgust at his touch on your skin. You could feel his warm breath over your face and you forced yourself not to glance down at his plump lips.

His voice fell barely above a whisper. “Or was it because I didn’t kiss you at that party?”

It snapped you out of the daze and you pushed at his chest with all your might, and he voluntarily moved back, content with breaking through your strong facade and mindful of your elbow.

“You’re a real asshole, you know that?”

“An asshole who doesn’t run away from his problems. Someone who goes out of his way to help others. Who puts his pride aside to see what the fuck is going on with you!”

“You want to know what’s wrong, huh? Fine! I’ll fucking tell you.”

Now you were the one moving towards him. Eyes burning and tongue twitching with each syllable rolling off it.

“I’m not mad you didn’t kiss me, I’m mad I allowed myself to be led on by you.”

You dug your finger in his chest, hard enough to sting and leave a crescent mark beneath.

“Giving me your jacket and walking me home, not once but twice, like a gentleman-wannabe.”

Another jab to his body.

“Saying you’d come to my competition which you obviously couldn’t care less about!”

And another.

“Only for you to blow up in my face and call me shallow and selfish over something I still don’t know what! But that’s not all, no, because after new year’s you come back a completely different person. Being polite and nice as if you don’t hate me, scooping me up like a damsel in distress, brushing past Hyunjin who was more than capable of helping me, acting like a saint in front of your friend and the cherry on top! Claiming you wouldn’t do all that if I was just some girl!

“But I’ve already been over this once, Song, and I’m not about to be fooled twice, you hear me?” An obnoxiously big smile stretched across your lips. “So no, I’m not mad you didn’t kiss me.”

So much for not throwing a screaming fit.

Mingi wrapped his hand around your wrist closest to his body and the grip was the complete opposite of his face. Soft and warm, and delicate while his jaw was clenched, and eyes hard and piercing. The awkward silence from before transformed a tension you could feel with every fiber of your body. You breathed heavily and your heart worked rapidly compared to Mingi, who didn’t seem to be in need of extra air.

“You think I led you on?”

Out of all the things you said, that was the only thing he remembered?

“This was a waste of time–”

“Did you think… I led you on?”

His hand on your wrist was cold compared to your boiling skin.

“I know you did,” you finally breathed out.

The admission was like a hockey puck catapulted straight into his stomach, knocking the air out of his lungs. Swallowing thickly, Mingi flicked his attention down to your wrist, not once daring to meet your eyes. He huffed out a laugh of disbelief.

“I didn’t give you my jacket to win you over or walk you home to get in your pants. I did it because I’d go batshit fucking crazy if anything happened to you.”

It didn’t matter that five, ten or fifteen people told you the same thing because no amount could measure with Mingi’s final word. The air in the room thinned out and your throat ran dry. Your pulse was louder than your thoughts and the angry heat settled on your cheeks in a warm embarrassment. His hand slipped up to your hand, thumb locking in your palm while the rest of his fingers wrapped around the back of your hand.

“And I went to your competition,” he finally said. “I dressed up and bought you flowers and I sat through the whole number and when you fell down, I just wanted to scoop you up in my arms and tell you…” He paused, seemingly catching himself on something you weren’t supposed to know.

“I waited til you were done. I’ve never put that much time and thought into my appearance before, not on dates or big events. The only reason you didn’t see me was because you were too occupied with him.”

He took a deep breath and you realized while you were anxious of running into him at campus, Mingi was anxious of never getting the chance to share his side with you.

“And I didn’t like it. I didn’t like seeing his hands on you or how you turned to him for comfort and I fucking hated how good he was at it, so I left…”

Mingi slid his hand further down so your palms were glued together and you bit the inside of your cheek.

“You know, it took me a year and something to make you smile, and you weren’t even sober for it, but I know that prick probably made you feel better in five seconds just by showing up. No flowers or anything and well, I already lost then and there, so I could only think of taking my shit and running.”

His fingers moved between yours and your whole body calmed down at the intimate contact. Hot and boiling blood simmered out into steady waves.

“I was angry, completely livid, for letting myself think I even had a…”

You waited for him to finish but the rest of the sentence never came out. Taking matters into your own hands, you steered the conversation towards a topic you were far more interested in than whatever it was he couldn’t tell you.

“And you yelled at me for… what?”

“I never expected you to show up. I didn’t even know you knew there was a game, I mean, you never showed up to all the other thirty matches so, yeah.” Mingi looked away as the guilt took over his entire being. “I was told that it was the most important game of the season and that there’d be a dozen scouts watching. My nerves were skyrocketing from the get go, and please believe me when I say that seeing you made everything silent. And I mean everything.

“But then I got so, so angry when I saw him beside you holding that stupid sign and the memories from your competition rolled in and like the cherry on top, Chan knew what to say to tip me over the edge. The last thing I needed was you acting smart with me, too.”

You could handle a lot of things; like unimportant people being jealous over your achievements or praying for your downfall. What you couldn’t stand, on the other hand, was when people who were in the wrong took out their frustration on you (or when Keeho and Dasom were being targeted to get to you, but that’s a story for another time).

Not to say Mingi was as important as Dasom or Keeho, but at some point, you considered him something akin to a friend. To hear him speak to you in that way hurt equally as much as when your mom made that one backhanded comment about your appearance or when your dad forced you to stop being emotional and then saying something along the lines of it being in your nature because of your gender. The hurt and sadness you buried all those weeks ago resurfaced in the form of red-scorching anger, and it would take a lot more than a pathetic story to make up for it.

Tearing your hand from his, you hissed. “It doesn’t explain where you think you got the right to call me things.”

Mingi stayed quiet, appalled at your switch in behavior and you were happy giving him the taste of his own medicine.

“Got nothing to say? Is that it? You make such a big deal out of us not talking and now that you’re here, there’s nothing else to say. What? Did you think I’d just forgive you and go on with us being whatever the fuck we are? Talk is cheap, Mingi, has no one ever fucking told you so?”

As he kept his lips sealed, you sighed in disappointment. He came all the way and stayed in the freezing cold to spew his bullshit, but when push came to shove he’d rather be silent.

“You know where the door is.”

You barely managed to get three steps in when his hand clasped around your healthy elbow, literally pulling your body against his and hands maneuvering to hold you by your waist. Noses almost touching and eyes reflecting a thousand emotions, you nearly caved then and there.

“I came here to make things right,” he said calmly.

“Fuck you. You can’t come running with coffee every time you fuck up.”

A strawberry frappuccino slid in front of you and popped your thoughts like a dart would a balloon. Mingi hung his jacket around a chair opposite you and sat down, much like in the library. He avoided your gaze and took a long sip of his green tea mocha. You didn’t touch your drink despite it being your favorite — you pushed the thought of it being a coincidence or not to the back of your mind — and continued staring at him. He eventually faced you and nearly choked on the beverage.

“Why are you staring at me?”

“I’m admiring your act.”

“What act?”

“This goody-two shoe thingy you’re trying to pull off.”

He chuckled and looked down at his drink, fingers tracing circles on the paper logo.

“You’ve really got your head way in on that. There is no act. I said it earlier, I just felt bad for getting you thrown out.” The cup was left alone and his eyes found yours.

“I’m sorry.”

You huffed at the half assed-apology and tried to break free from him. That was an immediate failure as Mingi didn’t let up on his hold.

“What do you want me to do? What can I do to make everything good between us?”

“Maybe start with a real fucking apology.”

Eyebrows drawn together and lips in a pout, he searched your face for any sign of sarcasm. “I just said I’m sorry. So what is it you really want of me?”

Your eyes fixated on the wall behind him as you roared at him to get out. It was one thing to insult you outside, but doing it while inside your apartment? That was just right out disrespectful and you were done with that behavior. Apparently, Mingi was too, because he didn’t budge and forced you to look him in the eyes.

“What I want from you? Last time I checked you came to me, not the other way around, bastard. Now see yourself out.”

You were surprisingly calmer than you initially thought you’d be and all throwable objects in the apartment were still in their original place. The anger you locked away for this specific moment didn’t come out in an explosion, but more like a controlled fire, growing bigger and bigger the more oxygen it inhales.

Would it be anyone else, they’d respect your choice and be on their merry way, but Mingi rarely did what told. All the softness in his features disappeared and he tried a more sharper approach.

“Look at me and say it again. Tell me to leave, to fuck off and I’ll never bother you again.”

The words were right there, waiting to be flung out in the open, but you just couldn’t spit them out. It was something Mingi took notice of and immediately used against you.

“You can’t do it, can you? Got that boyfriend wrapped around your finger and it isn’t enough, you need something more. Princesses are never satisfied.”

Through your gritted teeth, you growled, “What fucking boyfriend?”

That was all Mingi needed to hear to smash his lips against yours. His large hands pushed against your lower back and pulled you against his front. In return your hand squeezed his biceps and frantically made its way up to his neck where your fingers got tangled in the multi-colored strands. It was enough for Mingi to know you wanted this as much as he did, because there wasn’t a doubt in mind that you wouldn’t knee him in his balls if you truly felt anything but desire and lust.

The kiss wasn’t sweet. It was dirty and messy and unexpected with teeth clashing and tongues hungry for dominance that neither of you wanted to give up. Compared to all your prior make outs, this was by far the most pleasurable one yet and as much as you screamed at yourself to let go, you thrived feeling his chiseled body against yours. The moment cut short as Mingi rested his forehead against yours, a string of saliva connecting your bruised lips. To keep himself sane he tore away from the sight and stared into your eyes.

“I need to know… I need to know you want this… want me as much as I want you.”

“Mingi-ya.” Your breathless moan sent shards of pleasure to his cock. “I want you.”

He wasted no time in hoisting you up and you complied by wrapping your legs around his slim waist, a perfect position for his hands to rest on the curve of your ass. The feel of your breasts pushed against his had him humming in delight that vibrated down your throat as you met for another kiss. This one was a lot less violent, but as feverish and needy as the first. The unexpected squeeze of your ass surprised you and your lips parted to let a gasp out to which his tongue entered to explore your hot mouth. Mingi’s eyes rolled to the back of his mind at the thought of your beautiful lips wrapped around his member, choking and drawing tears as you struggled to take him all the way.

“Bed–ruh, bedroom,” you moaned through the kiss and tugged at his hair to catch his attention.

Mingi realized he didn’t know where your room was and parted from you although every non-rational thought in his head told him not to.

“Where?”

You took the chance to press butterfly kisses against the side of his neck, working your way up to his jaw, nipping, licking and sucking on his soft skin. The sighs of pleasure resonating through the empty apartment boosted your ego and you couldn’t suppress the smirk at the thought of Mingi, big bad Song Mingi, sounding so flustered beneath your touch.

“If you don’t stop that, I’m going to bend you over the couch and take you right here.”

The threat was more of a reward than a punishment, but a vague image of a certain red hair popped by and you loved Dasom too much to put her through potential trauma of seeing her best friend getting — what probably would be — the best pounding of your life.

“First door on the left.”

Mingi struggled with finding your room as your mouth decorated his neck with beautiful plum covered marks and worked as a great distraction. Eventually — after walking into the bathroom and then the small pantry — he stepped into the correct space and plopped down on the bed with you seated on his lap. If it weren’t for aching dick he’d have you on your knees and hand behind your back as you took his length. As a response you grinded against him and his palms found your ass again, but this time instead of squeezing, he guided your movement and it extracted long moans out of you both. In the hazy mist of pleasure and lust the faint yet heated voice of Mingi echoed in your head.

“As if you don’t know what you’re doing. Acting all nice and cutesy like we are friends, like you’re interested in ever befriending me which now that I think about is so stupid because you and I? What a joke. We’re a fucking joke!”

“What are you even talking about?!”

Mingi scoffed again. He looked to the side, tongue poking the inside of his cheek. There were so many thoughts going through his head and all he could think about was what words to use to hurt you the most. To make you feel the hurt he did.

“First, you invite me to your stupid competition and then you come to my game sitting with him! Was this all a game, huh? To get back at me for all the dumb shit I did to you because if it is then wow, you’ve really proven yourself to be more shallow and boneless than I ever thought. I mean, you’re really going out of your way to get under my skin and act like a fucking–”

Mingi closed his eyes and clamped his mouth shut, the veins on his neck were more prominent than ever and his face was almost identical to the color of his jersey. He really needed to calm down before he said something he’d regret. Not that it mattered, the damage was already done and he knew the aftermath was already biting him in the ass. Shit, the look of your glossy eyes was quick to make his inside burn in pain.

Each insult was a poisoned arrow aimed at your heart. The words physically hurt you more than ever before and you weren’t aware just how mean Mingi could be. Your previous bickering never stooped on a level this low before and it brought tears to your eyes but even that wasn't enough to stop his rant. Not wanting to be caught vulnerable in front of the guy who was practically stepping on you with his shoes, you quickly wiped away the tears that managed to escape.

Mingi knew he was taking his frustration out on you and he knew it wasn’t fair because you hadn’t done anything wrong. It all kept piling on his shoulders. All the instances he saw you two together; the joint practices, your embarrassed giggles any time Hyunjin breathed, watching him console you in the hallways like a poor reenactment of a romcom, sitting so close together at his game, shoulders touching a little too close for Mingi’s liking… If that stupid piece of cardboard was a bomb waiting to be activated, then Chan was the flame that set everything off.

“Oh, great. This is really great now you’re fucking crying too. You think some tears are going to make me feel bad? They won’t, I don’t care anymore okay? I’m done with you and your fucking shit. So go back to your prince fucking charming and don’t even bother looking at me, you hear? I’m fucking done!”

As if burned by his touch you pushed against his chest with enough force to knock him down on the mattress. Mingi grew stiff at your sudden outburst. The fear of having done something wrong, something to upset you, crawled up his throat in the form of bile and the feel in his legs was abruptly cut off.

On the other side of the room, your heart was beating hard against your ribcage. Mingi was dangerous, you realized. The moment his lips were on yours, you surrendered to the satisfying feeling of bliss and it wasn’t like you were new to the act of intimacy, but with everything that happened between you, you needed time to collect your thoughts. Because getting tangled in bed with Mingi while you were still hurting wasn’t going to help you in the long run and you needed something more than kisses to make up for it all.

Mingi slowly sat back up and breathed out an air of relief as you looked anything but panic stricken. He ignored your slightly bruised neck and spit covered lips, and kept his eyes glued to yours.

“Are you– Did I– uhm…”

He took another breath to collect his thoughts. Anxiety attacks weren’t foreign to him and if you were having one now — or a panic attack — he’d rather approach it with ease than scare you up even more.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah… I just… I can’t, uh– I can’t stop thinking about what… you said back then. After the game. It’s been like, what? Weeks and I’m still hung up on that and I–”

“Please, stop.”

The soft plea was enough for you to clamp your mouth shut. Words poured out of him quicker than he could form a coherent sentence in his mind and he was sure he was making a fool of himself.

“It’s right, I mean you’re right. We should talk about that or, well, I need to talk and you listen, if you want.”

At your nod, Mingi gently patted the space beside him and while you made your way over he took one of your pillows and perched it over his groin. Your legs were crossed in a pretzel position as you faced him with your whole body. The anxious tap of his foot against the floor was slowly driving you crazy, but you still kept silent, realizing the conversation was probably as hard for him as for you.

“I’m sorry,” he started and wrung his hands together. “For everything. I’m sorry I yelled at you and I’m sorry that I made you cry and most importantly, I’m sorry for hurting you.”

Mingi looked up at you and if the raw sincerity woven with his voice wasn’t enough, then the watery shine reflecting in his eyes made up for it.

“I… I’m sorry for a lot of things and I know… I know that– I know that my words aren’t nearly enough to make up for what I said, but I need you to know that everything I’ve said, from start to finish, I never meant any of it and if I could, I’d take it back in a heartbeat.”

The cracking sound of his heart echoed through the room at your dejected expression.

“You really hurt me, Mingi.”

“I know and I’m so, so, sorry, princess.”

The pet name made your throat grow tighter, and you blinked back tears, but they were persistent and eventually trickled down your cheeks.

All those sleepless nights spent with thoughts occupied by your future confrontation weren’t anything like you imagined it to be. It was supposed to be explosive, harsh, and filled with pain, where you’d get to hurt him back tenfold and leave him in tears. Instead, it was the complete opposite and Mingi couldn’t think of a more agonizing punishment than to see you cry. Each shake of your shoulders was a slap to his face while your small sniffles probed at his cochlea. What really tore his insides apart, were you trying to stifle your sobs, your uninjured hand clamped over your mouth as if you were embarrassed to be vulnerable in front of him.

“Come here,” he said, to which you shook your head and covered the rest of your face as the tears multiplied.

Mingi swallowed, but it didn’t help the tightness in his throat. It felt like he’d eaten buckets of sand for breakfast, lunch and dinner. His hand itched to reach out and anchor you back to him. He wanted to reassure you with gentle pats to your head and slow caresses of your knee. Feeling completely helpless, he just watched until your cries were nothing more but soundless hiccups. As much as he wanted you in his hold, he also didn’t want to cross your boundaries, something he was apparently very good at. You were already hurting enough as it was, you didn’t need him pressuring you into things you didn’t want or felt uncomfortable with.

“Please,” he whispered out in a last attempt to offer you some solace in the form of physical contact and you, not knowing better than to defy him, shook your head in retaliation.

“I… I think… it’s best if you leave,” you barely made out through sniffles and a dry throat. “I just– I, uhm… I need time to… think– or well, process all of this and you being here. It won’t– I can’t think properly with you here so please, just…”

As you trailed off, leaving the sentence with an open ending that was self explanatory, Mingi physically felt his soul fade to nothing, leaving him hollow like an empty seashell.

“You need some time,” he finished for you with an understanding tone and you didn’t know whether to feel relief or angst.

Being in his arms brought a sense of security and the kisses he planted along your skin made you feel wanted. The universe would deem you a liar if you said you didn’t want to crawl back in his lap and fall asleep to the gentle sound of his beating heart. You knew very well that if you caved in to your desire, your heart and your pride would meet in a joust.

“Yes.”

Mingi didn’t dare to ask for how long, being well aware everyone functioned differently and moved at their own pace. The non-existent hourglass could stay upside down with its endless sand pouring for all eternity and while Mingi was willing to wait for however long you needed, he was scared your feelings for him would never go past the friendly mark on the thermometer. Left with no other choice, but to give you exactly what you were asking for, Mingi listened to your wish.

“I’ll give you all the time you need.”

Wolves were known for their fierce loyalty and being the symbol of freedom, resourcefulness and adaptability. When in danger, they flee. When in battle, they fight. Other than the fact that both choices began on the same letter, they also had another thing in common. Neither was an act of surrender. Like a wolf, Mingi wasn’t familiar with yielding and he sure as hell wasn’t going to get a taste of it now. He was done with handing out empty apologies, it was time to show you what he truly felt, preferably so before someone else beat him to it. Mingi wasn’t going down without putting up a fight, and he wasn’t one to back down from getting a little dirty if needed.

“But don’t think I’m giving up on you, princess. You can use your time thinking and when you're ready I’ll be there. Till then, I’ll show you exactly how sorry I am.”

157 notes · View notes

mintmatcha · 6 months

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Inevitable Things : chapter one

aizawa x reader fic

cw: aizawa x reader, cisfem reader, office AU, no quirks. no porn in the first two chapters, sorry gang :)

masterlist | next chapter

Prome Medical Devices hired you as a personal assistant to the CEO, Toshinori Yagi, shortly after he was diagnosed with his second bout of prostate cancer and shortly before they learned it had metastasized to bone. It was a tragic, yet expected turn of events.The man had been sick most of his life, they told you, he's probably slept in hospital beds more times than he's slept in his own. It was, like most things, inevitable.

Over the following weeks, through chemo and taps and rotating hospital doors, he began working from home and handling only the absolute basics, and your silly assistant job evolved into more. You had only planned to stay for a couple months, but then another horrible thing happened.

You became Somehow Important.

Days went from scrolling on Twitter between writing notes to juggling everything that no one else could handle. Sitting in for meetings, handling calls, scheduling reviews and system checks, running to the pharmacy midday: there's nothing you haven't done. It’s a lot, but in the grand scheme of it all, it's nothing-- especially compared to the things that everyone else gets done here.

8:35am. The security man gives you a nod without checking for your badge. Engineers skitter around the office like cockroaches. It's always a good sign when no one immediately comes to find you; that means your boss is still alive and doing about the same as he was yesterday. No updates, you’ve found, are good. No one bothers to tell you when good things happen: you’re the fixer, the emergency contact. When you’re being informed of anything, it’s because someone else wants you to clean up the mess.

(The only exception is from the man himself. Toshinori sends you the best kind of updates; mundane things from his life that he needs to share, like pictures of his duck pond or his review of the new coffee shop in town. It’s enough to keep you going, even when the day absolutely blows. You only had a few months working directly with the man, but he was fond of you-- and everyone was fond of him.)

Outdated filaments thrum down the halls. Your heels click against the tile with every step, a slow march to another day of monotony, a kind of dread that not even your phone can distract you from. Because your position is rather undefined for the corporate world, your desk is in an awkward spot, sandwiched in the hall, equidistant from the engineering department, the CEO's office, and the coffee machine. In terms of convenience, it's lovely, but it also means you have nowhere to hide.

Before you can even make it to your desk, a young man pops into the way and heads straight for you, a bit too quickly to be passed off as casual. Your heart sinks, then you realize it's just one of the interns: a college kid who's clearly had too many energy drinks already.

“Hey,” Denki smiles with too much gum, so wide his cheeks almost swallow up his eyes. He’s a scruffy, dirty blonde, a patchy black streak on one side of his head. His button down is obviously unironed, so crumpled it almost looks like a pattern, matching perfectly with his untied tie. It’s a good thing that he’s cute; you doubt he’d have gotten this far in life if he wasn’t.

“Good morning, how are you? Have a good night? You look so pretty this morning. MILF town over here.” he says, twiddling the toe of his shoe into the carpet. “I made the pot of coffee for you,so you don’t have to worry about that-”

You cut him off. “What did you do?”

The interns don’t report to you. If anything, they run parallel to you. If there’s anyone they should be ass kissing, it should be the department head, not some personal assistant, but the group considers you an ally. Maybe even a friend.

“I wouldn’t say that it’s something that I did,” the boy explains. He sucks air in through his teeth. “It’s more like what I didn’t do.”

“Denki.”

“It’s just the reports! I have to submit them end of day and it’s just not--” He juts out his bottom lip. “Can you proof my work? Please? The Eraser’s going to have my head if I make another mistake.”

The lead engineer is infamous for deleting whole chunks of code that the interns have made and ruining months of their work. Last month it was Ochako's work, who then spent the rest of the day at your desk, sniffling. The four others were equally terrified of the man, constantly fretting and bitching about the ‘cruel working conditions.’ If Prome wasn't so prestigious (and internships weren't necessary for graduating) there’d be no interns left. You’re sure Eraser would prefer it that way.

“Please?” Denki clutches his hands together in prayer. “Please, please, please?”

You don't even pretend to hem and haw.

“Email it over before lunch.” you say and he lights up.

“Aw, you’re the best!” He turns away and practically skips down the hall. “I’m gonna drop off Izuku’s stuff too, okay?”

There’s no chance to say no before Denki’s gone. You flop into your chair and kick off your heels, trying to convince yourself that you don’t already regret saying yes. You catch your own appearance in the black screen of your computer. Makeup doesn’t do much to cover up the fact you’ve been crying. You can see it in your eyes, in the creases of your skin that you wish weren't there. Even as the screen lights up, you can still catch your own face, starting back with that sad, sad expression.

It's been mostly sleepless nights since Touya left, but you push through and ignore whatever you can. You miss your travel mug, the one that matched the coaster on your desk. You miss your forks, the ones that weren’t the awful ones from the thrift store down the road, bought solely out of panic when you returned to an empty apartment. Most of all, you miss him, how the apartment felt warmer with two bodies instead of one, and how secure you felt with someone who loves you.

Your screen loads and a big, red 24 flashes in the corner-- fuck, the works already piling up. You try to squish any thought of Touya’s disappearing act into the back of your head. Like a dog, Touya always comes back home to you. He just needs to be wild for a bit, play off leash, and then he’ll crawl back like always.

You check your phone. He’s still saved under “AVOID AT ALL COSTS” and the last five texts you sent are all unread. Your thumb hovers over the delete button for a moment; it’d be easier to cut him off and end this cycle. You can stop pushing the boulder up the hill, just for it to tumble back down again. You could pursue someone else, maybe someone nice or smart or at least not rude-

Focus. Compliance is raising concerns about the new platform and manufacturing has CC'ed you into an issue about screw heads, two things that you know nothing about. You flip your phone over and push through. What’s the difference between a hex and a truss and why should you care?

11:59. You’re none the wiser about either topic, but the dust seems to be settling and everyone seems to be happy enough. Denki’s reports are an absolute mess, bad to the point you start to wonder if he even tried. The pages aren't even formatted correctly, so it’s going to take most of your lunch to iron out the wrinkles. Luckily, Izuku is a bit more competent and his tasks look great, so-

“Oh, baby girl!”

You stop typing and sit straight up to peer over your computer screen, hiding the remnants of your microwaved lunch. With arms raised high and dressed in his finest ironed button down, Yamada Hizashi enters. Tall, blonde, thin, and leggy: Hizashi would have been a Victoria’s Secret model if he wasn’t a man. His long hair is tied back into a messy bun, a couple of loose tendrils floating around his face in an effortlessly, annoyingly charming way as he marshes straight for you.

“Let me see ‘em!” he demands loudly, a smile on his face and his hands on his hips. “Come on, baby. You know what I want.”

If it was anyone else, you’d think the man was a creep, but Hizashi is just so earnest about the way he lights up a room. With a belabored sigh and a grin, you roll your chair back a bit and stick your leg to the side to reveal your pink, fluffy slippers. The man claps his hands together and laughs a deep, hearty chuckle, genuinely bemused.

The bunny slippers had started as a secret. The original dress code had required women to wear heels to work, which was fine, until the back of your feet became nothing but blisters. To give yourself some respite during the day, you had hidden a pair of slippers under your desk, just a little treat to make it through the day. It seemed like a genius idea-

Until the day the fire alarm went off. In the surprise, you had forgotten to change your shoes back, and proceeded to spend the next half an hour outside with the entire company in your violently pink shoes.

Luckily, everyone thought it was pretty funny.

Especially Hizashi.

“Seeing my work wife is the best part of the week.”

You throw a hand over your heart and gasp, trying to hold back your smile. “Only your work wife?”

“Oh, babygirl, I’d marry you in an instant.” He leans over your desk with another sigh, this one heavier. “I’d make you the trophy wife you were born to be.”

“Cool it, Mic.” Your heart sinks a bit at the voice. “HR is going to have your head if you aren’t careful.”

Aizawa “The Eraser” Shouta makes his third appearance at the coffee machine this morning. He’s an average sized man, if not slightly short, with dark hair and the beginnings of a salt and pepper beard. The muscles in his jaw flex whenever he looks your way, almost as if he’s chewing away his annoyance. The most notable thing about him is a scar on his high cheek bone, long healed and silver in the light. He sits his coffee cup - a beat to shit Stanley thermos from long before they were cool- under the tap and lets the java pour, that sour expression never leaving his face.

Aizawa has worked here since the beginning. As one of the founding members of Prome and a lead engineer, he’s had his hands in absolutely every machine the company has produced, and yet he carries himself with none of the pomp and circumstance he deserves. Instead of abiding by the strict dress code, he wears a bright yellow sweatshirt that has an obvious coffee stain on the pocket. It’d be charming if he wasn’t an infamous dick. The two of you rarely interact, despite the fact he visits the coffee station next to your desk multiple times a day, offering you no more than a nod most days. The interns are terrified of him-- and rightly so. You’re also scared of him. You’ve never met anyone else as tightly wound or as obsessed with work as him; there’s a rumor that he even sleeps here some days.

“Don’t listen to him,” Hizashi says. “He’s just jealous.”

“I’m not jealous, I’m protecting the company from potential litigation when bunny slippers over here-” he juts a chin your way- “ decides your flirting isn’t fun anymore.”

You knew he wasn’t jealous. It’s an open secret that Aizawa doesn’t like you very much. Unlike any other of the department heads, he never allocates you work or stops by to chat. There was even a rumor that he wanted to eliminate your position last year; you wouldn’t care so much if he didn’t have the power and sway to make that happen.

Hizashi pops a hip to the side. He isn’t afraid of anyone it seems; he even claims to be the man’s friend after hours.“Would you rather me go back to flirting with you?”

Aizawa stares back, only the trickle of coffee echoing in the hall. Finally, when it almost reaches the top, he shuts it off and glares. “You’re not even supposed to be in office today, Mic.”

Hizashi had always been the most notable salesman in the company, but once the CEO’s health went downhill, he had taken over a lot of the speaking roles as well. Interviews, speeches, and the like: Toshinori Yagi had dubbed him Mr. Microphone and the name had just stuck. From what you can tell, he’s actually pretty close with Aizawa and the other founding members outside of work as well.

“I have a quick meeting with the marketing gals in a couple minutes,” Hizashi explains. He brings his attention back to you, brows waggling. Fuck- you know what he’s about to say.

“And I wanted to wish my wife an early happy birthday.”

Oh, god. Your face flushes with heat-- you had hoped he had forgotten that. You glance over to Aizawa, who seems more interested than usual.

“It's tomorrow,” you explain. He nods curtly.

“Our office darling is going to be thirty, flirty and feeling fine!” Mic explains further. Ugh. You wish he didn't sound so happy about it. When you think about it for too long, turning thirty feels like the end of the world, an evil you just can't avoid. It's better than the alternative, you guess.

“Are you and the boyfriend planning on a romantic night?”

A second gut punch of a statement.

“Oh, no, I’m just-- he--” You almost get emotional for a moment. Thirty years old and single: it feels like the end of the world for some reason. Everyone else is getting married or having kids or living some dream life. Fuck-- even two of the goddammit interns are engaged and they're practically babies! At this point, you might as well give up and die alone; no one else is ever going to want you, are they?

The glimpse of Aizawa in the corner, watching you with those judgemental eyes, sobers you up quickly.

“We broke up, so I’m just staying in.”

The two snap their heads towards each other. Mic waggles his eyebrows, not so subtly gesturing to a non receptive Aizawa. You know that look, the excitement and relief. It’s not a secret that no one really liked Touya-- people have been openly voicing their contempt for years. He wasn’t a bad guy, except for the times he was, but people only ever remembered the bad things.

“Oh, is it…?” Mic bites back his words, debating how harsh he should be. “Is it for real this time?”

Touya always comes back. Everyone knows the routine by now.

“Yeah,” you lie. “I’m done with him.”

“Good.” Aizawa says. You grimace at that; even he knows? You didn’t know he paid attention to anything outside of work, let alone your shitty interpersonal drama.

“More than good. Amazing! Spectacular! I’m so, so, so proud of you!” Mic adds on and you pretend it doesn’t bother you. It’s strange; the more others despise him, the more your heart aches. Touya needs you and you need him; who else will have him?

Who else will have you?

“That means we can go out for drinks to celebrate!”

“Oh, it’s okay, you don’t have to do that.”

“Too late, nope. We’re having a two-for-one birthday single bash tomorrow.” He’s on his phone, typing wildly. “I hope you have something pretty to wear because I’m going to show you how you deserve to be treated.”

Fuck. You’d rather be alone, sniveling and waiting for Touya’s return in your apartment, but Hizashi is smiling. His intentions are good; it’d be cruel to deny him.

“Nemuri knows some awesome spots-” The man is a whirl, typing and talking and walking. “You better get excited, baby girl.”

“Oh, yay,” you offer weakly. Hizashi isn’t listening anymore; he’s caught up in his own plans, briskly walking down the hall. A breath you didn’t know you were holding sneaks out and you slump back down to your seat.

“You really don’t have to let him walk all over you like that,” Aizawa says. He swirls his cup slowly, watching the rim.

You try to offer the man a smile, but you can tell it looks forced. Sure, Hizashi can be a lot, but he just wants to help, as misguided as that urge is.

“It’s okay.” When he doesn’t look convinced, you add. “Really.”

“Are you sure?” he presses, voice tight.

“Mhm.” You return to your keyboard and start typing, hoping that he understands the social cue. “Thanks though.”

Thankfully, he lets it go. Turning down the hall, he starts to sip his coffee, but then freezes mid stride.

“You make this?”

“No.”

“I can tell,” Aizawa says, examining his cup. “It’s fucking dog water.”

That comment is so off kilter that you can’t help but snort. Aizawa watches you for a beat more, maybe bemused, maybe not, then nods. With that, he leaves, an empty coffee pot in his wake. Another item to add on your growing list.

The rest of the day goes by quicker than you need it to. Denki leaves a little bit after lunch for a doctor’s appointment and the rest of the workforce trickles out after. The head of development, Nezu, has you run through potential presentations before you follow up on compliance’s worries again. The coffee pot was refilled four more times, all by you, and your messages to Touya still sit delivered and unread. Two hours after the work day was supposed to end, you slip your heels back on. Denki’s files are pretty much unrecognizable now, but that’s a good thing. All of the college students are intelligent and more accomplished than you’ll ever be, but you’re not sure why they can’t figure out basic busy work. There’s nothing hard about it, other than focusing.

With a final press of a key, your personal printer hums to life. A staple and a paperclip and you’re done: now it’s just a quick trip to engineering and you can finally go home. Your work isn't physical, but God, hunching at a desk all day takes a toll on your body. A flare of something eats at your lower back as you stroll the empty building and try to rub the grit from your eyes. You think there’s a frozen pizza at home or maybe some pasta-- though, you can’t remember if that was from this monday or last monday. Maybe it’d be safer to just throw it away.

The department itself is a long row of cubicles, with miscellaneous machines and computers littering the other side of the room. You recognize old prototypes and parts of Prome's most famous product: a hospital bed.

Before you had set foot in this building, you never thought a bed could count as a medical device -- or as something highly complicated and thoroughly engineered -- but this bed is different. It’s comfortable, lightweight, and durable, all while able to track a patient’s movement and comfort. It even records a patient's glucose, body temperature, SPO2, and many other medical things that go over your head. When used correctly, bedsores rates have been reduced to nearly zero and hospital related illnesses are caught significantly earlier.

In about three months, the newest model will be released, complete with full integration into electronic record systems. If everything goes according to plan, it’ll be revolutionary. Working here is a headache, but you do take pride that it's a company that does good.

“Do you need something?”

You jump at the sound of the voice, flipping around to search the room. Tucked at the end of it all is an open office door. Inside, Aizawa is perched at his desk, head in one hand, reading glasses in the other. He’s illuminated only by the computer screen, his deep, dark eyes bouncing side to side as he carefully reads.

Aizawa always looks tired, but now so especially; his heavy lidded eyes are drooped with fatigue and his skin is pallor, black stubble dusting his unshaved cheeks. There’s no bite or annoyance to his voice-- maybe even a little levity. For once, you don’t want to scurry away from him like a mouse, hiding in the shadows and corners to avoid his claws. You still approach cautiously, heels sharp against the tile. The silence in between each hit makes your skin prick with an unknown nausea.

“I thought everyone went home.” You say.

“Everyone did. Just me-- and you, apparently.” He taps out a word or two. His office is devoid of personal items, desk covered in nothing but stacks of papers and illegible post notes, nothing to hint to his personal life. It’s been three years, yet you have no idea what his personal life is like-- if he even has one, that is.

“No slippers tonight?”

That was either a dig or a joke. You aren’t sure either way, but the way your shoes sound when you walk even closer feels like its own answer. When you reach the corner of his desk, he finally looks your way. It hits you that you've never actually been this close to him before. It's always been passes in the hall and distant conversations. His skin is smoother than you'd thought it'd be, with creases between his brow that fill themselves when he-

“Do you… need something?”

“Oh, uh-- Denki left these at my desk by accident,” you lie, sliding the file on to the corner of his desk. “I think they’re for you.”

He regards you again, more thoroughly this time. With a tilt of his head, he inspects your face, eyes flickering between your two. In the dim, they’re nothing but black dots, an inkinesss that you could fall into if you were any closer.

He’s pretty. And that’s an unsettling thought. You’ve never allowed yourself to consider that before. Immediately, you walk the thought back. No. Nobody with his personality is attractive-- hands down. Touya is the only dick you need in your life.

“You should go home. It's late.” he says before turning back to his work. He types a couple things, then hits the backspace and deletes it all again. “Go home.”

Adjusting the bag on your shoulder, you sigh, the workday catching up to you. “You should too.”

“Hm,” he grunts. He takes a long sip from his thermos, tipping it back to suck the dregs. You’d never noticed the sticker of the bottom before- a faded and torn image of an orange cat. “Maybe.”

That’s a no. You don’t push the issue. You start towards the door, then pause.

“Do… do you want me to make another pot of coffee before I go?” You’re not sure why you offer. Everything’s been put away and cleaned for tomorrow. It’d take at least 15 minutes to set up again.

Aizawa slides his glasses back on, adjusting them by the bridge, only for them to slip right back down the flat bridge of his nose.

“You don't have to do that.”

With that you leave, no proper goodnight dismissing you. The tap of your heels and the clack of his keyboard mix into some sort of soft, unbalanced rhythm. Despite yourself, you think of Touya, of where he is and where he isn’t. Is it also quiet there? Has he thought of someone else in the same way you just did?

When the doors of the building close and the security guard nods your way, the sound of percolation echoes behind you, the final drops falling into a freshly brewed pot.

346 notes · View notes

nnon0 · 1 month

Text

JJH fic recs #3

previous fic recs : 1. 2.

note: hey yall ik it’s been a while ive been busy with life and truth be told, it’s been getting pretty hard to find good fics to recommend cuz i feel like ive read them all 😭😭😭 anyway jaehyun’s SOLO REVIVED ME SO IM BACK 😜 but im prob just gonna keep updating and adding to this post with fics and not make anymore posts so everytime yall come back there’s gonna be new fics AND PLS RECOMMEND SOME FICS AS WELL

(🫀) - personal faves

summer of seven years @lebrookestore

WC:30k

summer!au writer!jaehyun

Coming back home was hard for both you and Jaehyun, but when you realize both of you are back in the same place again, feelings from three years ago rise to the surface, and you start to realize that the things you thought you knew when you were younger never quite played out.

(🫀)His love, Her force @anashins

WC:28k

Undercover detective!jaehyun x ballerina!reader , fake marriage au, slow burn

Fleeing from a ruthless stalker, you are forced to participate in a witness protection program at the other side of the world, pretending to be the wife of a taciturn undercover detective from now on. Despite all differences, you slowly start to settle with your new life as a married couple - until your newfound happiness is stripped away from you all over again.

(🫀) BAD HABITS @jaedore

WC:21k

Boxer!jaehyun

You were never really good at saying ‘no’ to people, always a people pleaser, listening to your teachers, parents, to authority. Jung Jaehyun is a professional boxer attempting to make it to the top with the help of your father, who used to be a well known boxer. Being in a friends with benefits relationship with Jaehyun would be the last thing you’d find yourself in-you’re always focused on finishing college, studying hard, and sticking to yourself. With you pushing your feelings down for him and him focused on other things, you’re already in too deep to pull out of this complication. When will it be too much? When is your breaking point?

(🫀) cynosure - a focal point of admiration @drquinzelharleen

WC:20.4k

surgeon!jaehyun , enemies-to-lovers

When the young hot shot doctor, Jung Jaehyun, has been solicited to your hospital. He is to become the new Chief of Surgery. Your excitement and curiosity are soon to be washed away by his cocky disposition.

no guidance @yutaholic

WC:20k

knocked up, smut, pregnancy au

You insist on keeping things casual with Jaehyun, even though he wants something more serious, but then you miss a period and in an instant, your lives are turned completely upside down.

happy now? @hwaflms

wc: 19.9k

ex!jaehyun, fake dating au

your family has been pressuring you for months to bring your boyfriend, jaehyun, over for dinner, and you think it’s really sweet that they like him so much. the only problem is that your “boyfriend” jaehyun, hates you.

(🫀) ordinary people @ppangjae

WC: 18.3k

friends-to-lovers, fake dating!au, ceo!jaehyun

Jaehyun’s parents are coming home for Christmas and he may have made the biggest mistake of telling them he has a ‘girlfriend’. Insert you, his best friend, who so happens to be the only girl he knows and trusts. You, on the other hand, would have never expected Jaehyun to show up at your door at two in the morning with nothing but a proposition; to be his fake girlfriend. And man, are you in big trouble.

(🫀)ethereal @celestialmark

WC: 16.7k

fluff, life lessons

(note: shed a tear reading this it was so beautiful i highly highly recommend)

Jaehyun was indeed way more than his good looks. Jaehyun was gentle, honest and sincere, you felt it all in the way he smiled, the way he talked and in the way he kissed you. He was the living definition of ethereal, and his beauty shone the most on the inside

(🫀)SUN&MOON @ppangjae

WC:14.6k

enemies-to-lovers, fake dating

Asking Jeong Jaehyun to accompany you to your family’s 1-week Christmas vacation as your boyfriend has its consequences. One can surely get through 1 week of pretending to be in love with an enemy, right?

(🫀) chasing stars, losing you @prodbymaui

WC: 14k

exes to lovers, ceo!jaehyun x model!reader

When your relationship got announced, it made noises louder that anyone could've imagined. Of course it will, a pair containing a supermodel and a CEO of one of the most successful enterprise that made a name in both the fashion and business industry. But soon enough, everyone witnessed how the perfect relationship they had been envying crumbled down into tiny pieces until there's nothing left to pick up.

(🫀) if we were a movie @sehunniepotwrites

WC:14k

childhood friends to lovers!au , college au , theatre/drama au

For someone who was always the understudy and never the lead, scoring this role was huge for you. All you had to do was pretend to be in love with your best friend. No big deal, right? Wrong. It was the biggest deal because, for the past four years, you had been hiding your feelings for Jung Jaehyun.

If this were a movie, he would be your perfect match and the story would end happily with the credits rolling to a perfectly timed soundtrack. Too bad this wasn’t a movie— this was real life and life came with complications.

oops, baby (i love you) @prodbymaui

WC:12.5k+

modern royalty au, arranged marriage

you had been living your life as a rebellious and controversial crown princess, now you must face the consequence of purifying your tainted image; marrying the gentle and infamous crown prince of South Korea.

deadly kiss @slightlymore

WC: 12k+

chief architect jaehyun x chief engineer fem reader

office au, enemies? to lovers, dom x dom and trying to force each other to sub, romance, smut, fluff

in your court @boymeetsweevil

WC:10.8k

basketball player!jaehyun , bff!haechan

Two idiots in love, oc is scary when mad, hyuck is crafty always, jae is a bit intense but he’s just trying his best, gratuitous descriptions of dimples, a kiss!!! sfw!

coparenting @eleganzadellarosa

wc: 10.3k

angst, fluff smut

babydaddy!Jaehyun x fem!reader

(🫀)SEVEN LETTERS @ppangjae

WC: 10.1k+

soulmate!au , childhood friends-to-lovers , slight fake dating

On a camping trip, you find a message in a bottle that’s been washed up the shore, only to find out that it’s a message from you in the future. Your message tells you three things:

1. You must make Jeong Jaehyun fall in love with you because,

2. He’s your soulmate and

3. Because of your future self’s mistake, he ended up falling in love with someone else.

one more time @moondustis

WC:9.4k

smut, friends to lovers

Maybe this right here is a story about growing up and finding yourself, or about finding love and being vulnerable. But it definitely is a story about friendship, skating, pancakes and Jung Jaehyun learning how to deal with his feelings.

(🫀) rose bud @hazyhae

WC:9.2k

stoner!fuckboy!jaehyun , smut

friday nights are party nights, and it's here that your feet always seem to lead you to your favorite stoner. you know the sweet words that leave jaehyun's mouth don't belong just to you, but something about him leaves you wanting more.

baby @moonctzeny

wc:9.1k

college au, fake dating!au

When Yuta breaks your heart for the millionth time, you meet Jaehyun, freshly broken up and looking for revenge. You decide to start fake dating to get back on your exes, but your plan takes an unexpected turn. You fall in love.”

when fratboy falls @gyeomsweetgyeom

WC: 8.9k

fratboy!jaehyun x tutor!reader

Jaehyun is a fratboy with a notorious reputation for being a playboy, you have never heard of him. surely, he can use tutoring as an excuse to get close to you, right?

hello again, my sunshine @alluringjae

WC:8.5k

high school reunion!au, business lawyer!jaehyun, fashion designer!reader, high school best friends to strangers to lovers!au

there’s no more running away when you’re thriving in the fashion industry, yet it’s exactly what you want to do when you encounter your first love after a decade in your high school reunion.

(🫀) The lies of apollo @jaevie

WC:8k

Spy!jaehyun x spy!reader , forbidden love , smut , enemies to lovers

As powerful corporations seek to sun privatization, two spies find themselves falling in love and discovering the wonders of physical affection.

Head over Broomsticks @sehunniepotwrites

WC: 3.5k

Hogwarts!au Sports!au Quidditch!au Gryffindor!jaehyun

When your friends are tired of watching you and your crush go around in circles, they take matters into their own hands. Putting their Advanced Potions skills to the test, Donghyuck and Chenle conjure up a powerful truth serum and slip it in your drink right before a Quidditch game, which leads to a few inappropriate comments about No. 77, Jeong Jaehyun, of Gryffindor’s Quidditch team. This would’ve been fine if you were just a regular spectator but you are much more than that--you’re the Announcer and everyone is subjected to hear your unfiltered thoughts. Just great.

SERIES

(🫀) when icarus falls @baobaojng

college athlete!au , crush!au

(note: this series genuinely brought me to tears btw I HIGHLY RECOMMEND )

some tragic story of you sharing one class with your long time college crush jaehyun who never notices you until he accidentally reads your work and he gets curious— oh, and he uses lame excuses to get to talk to you.

144 notes · View notes

hollyhomburg · 10 months

Text

Before I Leave You (Pt.64)

(Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)

Summary: “Take your time, it’s not like I’m dying over here or anything.” “Shut up Jimin you are not going to die.”

Tags: Angst, Blood, graphic depictions of violence, dead bodies, Gore, Maiming, violent acts described perpetrated by loved ones, near death experiences, near death experiences, No one dies, Jimin does not die, Hurt with just a little comfort, implied sexual content,

W/c: 8.6k

A/N: I'm sorry that this chapter is a little shorter than usual after such a long wait. i've been going through a rough patch™ which is why recently the updates have been 3 weeks apart instead of just 2 like usual. When i tell you the end of this chapter has a fucking twist to it that i love, you're not prepared!

Previous part - Masterlist - First part

“I shot Minnie.”

It takes you a breath for the words to sink in. Standing in the bathroom in the half-grey darkness golden hallway light streaming in through the open door. It’s strange how inside of your body you feel at that moment.

That frantic fever urgency of your pulse, your breath, your everything when traumatic things are about to happen and when they’re happening.

For a moment you’re keenly aware of every molecule of your body. The tacky-sweet feeling of slick drying between your thighs, the cold smoothness of the slate tile beneath your feet, the too-long press of your fingernails as you grip the bathroom countertop to keep from falling to the tile floor. Everything in feverish detail.

you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, the light from Yoongi’s phone screen illuminates your face in blue. You look at the mirror, then down at your hands.

Minnie, a gun.

A bullet, Jin.

Your brain is whirling. Putting two and two together is like putting together a recipe. Only now you have the result and have to backtrack. How did you get here? Jin keeps talking, word vomiting down the line, and you miss a few sentences while you’re trying to put it together.

Butter, cream, sugar.

You, Jin, Jimin.

Jimin.

You think you might vomit tiramisu all over the bathroom floor.

You close your eyes, thinking hard while Jin talks. His words run over themselves with worry. “I discharged my weapon if we go to the hospital- they’ll- they’ll know and I don’t know if I can cover this up with just lies-”

“Is he dead?” Your voice is lethal in its quiet, so quiet that you think it might not go through the phone. Jin doesn’t hear it- too preoccupied with his own terror.

You close your eyes, quietly begging anything or anyone who might be listening. If god is going to take so much from him- the least she can do is give jimin this. One simple measly miracle is all you're asking for.

“Jin- tell me right the fuck now- Is Jimin dead?”

“Pup.” Jin sounds like he’s just been strangled. Like all the wind has just been knocked out of him. “Put Yoongi on the line.”

“No.” You're shaking, your heartbeat in your ears louder than your lofty hopes. Hand digging into the counter so hard that you feel it in your bones. “No, not until you tell me right now- is Minnie-”

“Hey pup.” Jimin’s voice is a quiet croak. You sag against the countertop and slide to the floor. It’s barely a weak whisper on the other side of the line. You’re glad it’s not a video call. You’re not sure you could handle seeing him if he sounds so raw. “Minnie- Minnie are you? does Jin?”

Does Jin know?

Jin must have taken back the phone because- “I need you to go get Yoongi. Now. We can’t be here any longer than necessary.” there's the muffled sound of shuffling, of hair grating against the speaker. "We're vulnerable here, I don't know if more people will come."

You move, leaving the bathroom and thundering up the steep stairs to the bedroom. There's the distant sound of Hoseok in the kitchen probably putting away the tiramisu. You head for the nest, rushing, falling to your knees in front of it, phone pinned between your shoulder and your ear.

“Yoongi isn’t here. He’s with Jungkook and Tae and Namjoon.”

“Hang up then and I’ll call Namjoon.” You peel back the nest skirt to get under it, where Jimin keeps his gun cases. They're there in the shadows, three of them black and plastic. A photocopy of his concealed carry license is taped to each on top. No one had been particularly happy about him storing them there (Namjoon especially) But now you’re glad to have them close on hand.

“No, not until you tell me where you are.”

“Pup this isn’t- you can’t-”

“Jin, please.”

You try the same code that Jimin has for his cellphone. You know it because you have a habit of going through his after your dates for some of the photos that he takes of you and Tae.

8-7-5-8.

The box clicks open and you roll your eyes. Alphas.

“Pup” you wait for him to say that he needs more help than you can offer, that carrying Minnie and keeping him alive is more than you can help with. You wait for him to say that you’re neither strong enough mentally nor physically to handle this.

But it doesn’t come. Jin’s tiny fraught sigh is there, but then-

“Alright.”

There are spots for five different handguns inside. Two missing vacant cuts into the foam. You take the smallest one, checking stock to make sure it's got bullets in it. You fumble with it, unsure and unused to this. You make sure the safety is on before you tuck it into your waistband.

“Send me your address. And if you need to- get rid of Jimin's gun- god only knows whats on that.” To Jin’s credit, he hardly splutters, hardly takes in another shaky breath.

“How do you know-” You descend the stairs slower. Screwing your eyes shut tight to keep from crying, leashing your voice into something gentle.

“Jin, Minnie is bleeding. You have more important things to worry about right now. We need to figure out how to keep Jimin alive and undiscovered.”

“You know-”

“Yes, I fucking know about Jimin, okay? We’re wasting time. Bye.”

You hang up on him. Your hands are still shaking and you spend a breath looking at them. You want to call Yoongi. Your body aching for your mate's touch, for how steady he makes you feel just by being there. the way he tucks your hair behind your ears, the way his hand is always hovering near the small of your back to guide you- to options that won't hurt and secrets that won't damage things.

You need your mate for this, already your pulse is hammering. The haze of a panic attack on the edge of your vision. One second foggy fear, the next heartbreaking clarity.

Maybe you know how this ends, you know why this is happening even if you try and ignore it. Maybe you realize just then what's going to happen. Not today but eventually, it turns you cold from the top of your head to the tips of your toes.

You might not lie to the pack (lying by omission doesn't carry the same weight) but you lie to yourself often.

You will call Yoongi, you decide. You pick the phone back up and navigate towards Tae’s contact. Your thumb hovers between her name and Jungkook’s. You don’t know if you’ll be able to keep your voice steady calling her but Jungkook will almost certainly be able to tell something's wrong just from your tone alone. He's perceptive like that.

Before you can make the call something moves in your peripheries.

There is a dark figure in the doorway, silhouetted by the light coming from the front door and the bay window. It makes you startle but at second glance it’s just Hobi. You look down at him 3 steps up the stairs. Yoongi's phone in your hand and a gun at the small of your back, covered by the fluff of his sweatshirt.

He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t ask who you were talking on the phone with. He just tilts his in question, eyes teaming with that warm sort of playfulness.

You have a decision to make; let his opinion of the pack remain what it is or change it for good. In an irrevocable way that you won't be able to take back. It feels like too much change too quickly. Barely an hour ago he was telling you he loves you and now-

The thing about secrets is that they’re terribly hard to keep.

Hobi notices, because Hobi always notices when there’s some sort of change in you or a shift in your mood- call it a survival instinct if you won't call it love.

The set of your jaw is less pouty neediness and more leashed discomfort. Your expression is the same one you had when tae came out and you sat with them at the table and told them for you. You'd think that telling other people's secrets would be easier but it isn't.

Hobi knows your tells. What it looks like when you're about to play your hand. Ace's and all.

You descend the last few steps, each one thudding, making sure you're on the same level before you slowly wrap your arms around his waist. You do it slow even though you feel every second like a gunshot wound. Like every second could be Jimin’s last heartbeat.

(thump thump thump)

Pulling yourself in tight. His hands smooth up and down your back. You could call Yoongi but-

Hobi looks down at you, pecking your forehead. He smiles softly, his lips twisting into something like a grimace because you smell a little bit sour. Doesn't mean he's not going to kiss you but-

You wonder how many times he’s kissed you already, it's only been a day but you’re already losing track of how many, maybe 2 dozen now. His eyes flicker from your mouth to your eyes then back again.

“Do you wanna tell me what’s wrong? Or are you just going to pout at me until I go get Yoongi?”

You shake your head and close your eyes hard. "Don't get Yoongi."

Stealing yourself just a little and hold Hobi a little closer, a little harder. But there’s nothing you can say, no lie that you can tell that will make this better. No secret that you could confess either.

“Jin called and something bad has happened.”

You feel more than see the goosebumps on Hobi’s arms as you pull away, the visceral hard swallow as he looks at your face again, waits, expecting you to pull back say-“It’s a joke it’s nothing-“ But it doesn't come.

“You have two choices Hobi, you can go to the pizza shop, and hang out with Tae and Jungkook and Namjoon and Yoongi or-” Hobi searches your face for something he knows; the darkness in your eyes, the vague tremble in your arms around his waist. “Or you can help me and be scared. I kind of-”

I kind of need you

But Hobi should have agency in this and shouldn't just take this path because of you. After Yoongi, you've learned when and where to give people the choice to be dragged into things they'd be better off sidestepping. You don't say it but Hobi hears it all the same.

Hobi looks so earnest but asking this of him is no easy thing. It would be easier if you weren’t so keenly aware that you’re taking away something from him. You’re giving Hobi the choice you never got that Yoongi never got, and he'll choose the same path anyway.

He cups your face, skimming his thumb up and down your cheek.“I’m okay with being scared.” I'm okay with being scared so long as it's for you.

“This is serious, this is- you can’t ask questions until I have time to answer them, you just have to listen, understand?”

“Okay.” He nods, tousled hair fluffing, looking so innocent and eager to please that you almost tell him to just stay home.

But as much as you hate to admit it. If Jimin is injured, there’s a chance you and Jin might need a second pair of hands.

It’s a blur. Tugging on your shoes- the same ones Yoongi got you ages ago for your first date with Jimin and Tae. And when you stand, he’s holding out your jacket for you to step into. When you nuzzle into the collar there's the scent of vanilla there from where Jimin rubbed his nose to your throat when you were at the hospital. It doesn't seem possible that it was only yesterday. Everything is Jimin Jimin Jimin.

“Thank you,” you say, sounding vaguely hollow. He kisses the nape of your neck and you put your hand over it.

You point your feet in the direction of Hobi’s car and get in the driver's seat. Taking his keys from him because you need them, need to be the one who drives right now. Holding the steering wheel and controlling the acceleration. Pressing down as fast as a heartbeat.

Thumpthumpthump.

You pull away from the house with a screech hitting the curb with a bit of flying sparks. you don't even wait for it to warm up. Hobi’s hands are on the plastic console of the driver’s side, holding it to keep himself from bobbing before he's belted in. He looks over at you startled. But he doesn't ask you to slow down.

You keep your eyes on the road, blinking back tears. Controlling your emotions because you can’t drive through blurry eyes. Every inch, every tick of the needle, every second of pavement screeching tire means you're a second closer to jimin.

"Jin’s going to send you an address in a few seconds, and I need you to tell me which way to turn.”

Hobi looks at you and then looks at the phone. He doesn’t try to put on a playlist, he doesn’t try to do anything just stares at you and bobbs in his seat when you take a corner too fast.

“What are you looking at me like that for?”

“Nothing; you’re just driving like if we don’t get there in time, someone is going to die.”

~-~

Hoseok remains remarkably calm for the drive, barely saying anything except for the winces he lets out every time you do something risky with the car like take turns at 30 miles an hour or evade a break check by driving along the shoulder.

You start to pass by empty factory buildings. The wheels of his car thudding over cracks and dips in the road until it becomes dust and gravel and the smell of gasoline permeates the interior of the car. Questions building like the heat pumping from the vents.

But he did promise not to ask until later.

The fog covers everything like a balmy damp shadow, the snow going straight to sublimation. Pockets of old street lamp lights punctuate the darkness. Husks of metal rise like soldiers from the shadows. The sky burning rust orange from the distant lights of the city. Not a single star in sight.

Jin’s car is there; Hobi spots it. Its blue paint stands out through the overlap of grey brush as the car's lights roll over it. Jimin's car is another 50 feet away and buried in the darkness. Shiny and black like the husk of an insect.

You're about a mile away from where they must be doing demolition. A singular crane and floodlights shine across a narrow tributary casting everything; the river and the buildings, into a grey-slanted light.

You pull around in the yard in front of the largest and most intact building. You leave the keys in car tumbling out the second it glides to a stop.

“Stay here.” You say, but Hobi gets out anyway. He hasn’t noticed the gun tucked into your waistband until now. It makes his pulse tick higher when you take it out.

"Hobi, sink or swim?"

He looks down at the gun in your hand, "Swim." You shake your head like you're angry with yourself, not him but you don’t waste another second arguing. You head off following the disturbed dust and Hobi trails behind. Ducking from pocket of light to pocket of light.

He always wondered what happened to the gun you’d pointed at him that night you’d run away. That train ticket that still burns a hole in his pocket, a distraction maybe from larger questions he should have been asking.

The way you hold the gun is not practiced; and why should it be? The only one who knows how to handle guns in the pack is Jimin. But the way you walk; completely silent is heartbreakingly familiar. Hobi knows how and why you've learned to move quietly. It's almost a dance; the way you glide across the floor. The gun is an extension of your arms. Spreading and flaying like a wing. Pinky to trigger, your index finger balanced along the barrel.

Hobi had always assumed that it belonged to Yoongi. It was almost 6 months ago now, wasn’t it? Hobi had almost forgotten about it.

There are some things that you never forget. Trauma makes his bones quiet. He's not as good at walking silently as you are but if the crunch of his red Converse against the gravel bothers you; you say nothing.

Hobi feels like he should have asked more questions about it at the time, but now he just bites his lip and stays quiet. You'd promised. You'll tell him in time. Hobi trusts you.

That's the worst thing, isn't it? That Hobi trusts you.

Jimin is sitting in one of the puddles of light, leaning up against one of the containers on the ground floor. Alone. You let out a quiet bereft when you see him. You and Hobi pause in the doorway. Your hand on the gun goes slack

“Minnie!”

you run to him, tucking the gun back into your waistband and falling to your knees at his side. Fingers finding wet-dark fabric. Not water but blood.

Hobi stays there in the doorway, his pulse thudding through his ears, an odd sort of peace to him as he takes in the details. The blood that pools dark on the dusty floor.

Jimin’s half covered with dust himself. Something wooden and red in his lap. The blood that’s dripped down his shoulder gathering there. There is a dragged-through patch of dirt a few feet away, more blood, and Jin is nowhere to be found.

Minnie’s eyelashes flutter. “Alpha-” you say. Almost sobbing in relief that he's alive. Alive you can handle. Alive you can work with. You bend down, getting your hand on his cheek. "Hey- wake up for me a sec okay? We're gonna get you out of here-"

“Hey pup” he laughs half delirious with pain, wincing like making the sound hurts him. “You came to the party" he coughs. "Did you bring Tae?”

You pull back to look at him. “Tae?”

Jimin grins, eyes fluttering closed and his pretty face tipped up against the light. His lips have blood on him- and it looks like a disturbing imitation of Tae’s lipstick. The shadows she leaves on your mouth, on his.

“Yeah- wanna tell her I love her. Wanna tell her I’m sorry. Could you tell her for me?”

This is something Tied tourniquet tight around Jimin’s shoulder to keep him from bleeding out. something you didn't immediately notice. You stare down at the vest now- at the yellow patch letters slowly darkening with blood.

FBI, and then in smaller letters; Organized crime division, Dir. Kim.

Jin appears from around the corner, covered in dust and blood across his thighs, and his throat. So quick you barely have time to raise the gun and then put it down when you see it's not some stranger- someone sent from Yoongi's family to tie up loose ends.

Your hand tightens on the gun as you stare at Jin.

The sleeves of his button-down shirt are rolled up to his forearms and black nitrile gloves cover his hands; same as Jimin's- although one is ripped. His eyes flick from you to Hobi and he almost flinches.

“Jesus fucking Christ-” Jin looks back at you. “Did you have to tell Hobi?”

You bristle “I didn’t tell him anything yet. That’s how you properly protect people. Instead of you know-” The insult doesn’t make sense and neither does your anger. Jin is your pack omega but it doesn’t feel like it when you grab his lapel and shake him a little. He doesn’t move, You’re too slight to alter his course.

Hobi stumbles to your side, hand on your shoulder and Jin's. The pack omega almost flinches at the touch.

“Will both of you swallow your god damn pride and-”

The three of you fall silent when Jimin reaches up to grab your thigh.

Jimin's hand on your wrist goes vice-tight, and when you look down at him, he's more lucid. More there through the haze of pain and blood. "If anyone has any right to be mad at Jinnie- it's me."

You stare Jin down, and after a breath, he's the one who looks away from your glare, taking your hands from his coat and gently detangling them.

"Let's just get him to the fucking car." You bite out. And you get back on your knees to gently guide Jimin away from leaning up against the metal. Get your hand around Jimin’s good arm and start to try and tug him to his feet. His eyes follow you fever bright. “Tell Tae that yourself when we get you out of here.”

the three of you get jimin on his feet. Jin under his good shoulder and Hobi by his hip you there, grabbing Jimin's gun and the mask from the ground. Hobi almost trips on a piece of metal.

He’s being so good with this so- so normal. Making pregnant and stressed eye contact with you when you look at him but stay mostly silent.

Jimin’s car keys fall onto the dusty earth just as you get to Hobi’s. placing jimin gently into the backseat before you stop to pick them up.

“My car; they can’t find it here.” You glance at Jin, then Hobi, looking grey.

“Someone needs to be in the back of the car to stabilize you. you can’t just be flopping around when we drive to the-” You break off because oh this just got so much worse; there’s no way that Jimin’s going to be able to go to the hospital. Even with injuries like this.

You make eye contact with Jin again, and both of you realize at the same time, the mountain of evidence that must be inside it, but you're only the three of you- if you take Jimin's car and Hobi takes his and Jin takes his own- no one will be there to hold Minnie and keep him stable. But who knows when you'll have a chance to come back and get Jimin's car.

If the authorities find his car and the body still inside that building. There's no shortage of what they might be able to convict Jimin for. If there was ever a time that you needed another person it would be right now. You should have called Yoongi.

You look up at Jin, “Get rid of it, we just have to-”

“The river-” You stand there, two opposite sides of the same coin both grinning because it's a good plan.

“If we sink it, they’ll never find it.”

A couple of miles away where the floodlights shine, they must knock over something large because you hear the boom and feel the tremble in the earth.

You take everything out of the car first, throwing it into the front seat of Hobi's car. Hobi tries not to think about the items too hard. The sniper rifle, the 3 bulletproof vests, or the ski mask. There's a variety of other equipment underneath the false bottom, arranged perfectly, everything has its spot. An empty tranquilizer gun. Ropes and black trash bags.

The three of you work like a polished team. Moving the car as close as you can to the water Near an old dry dock that flooded, where the soil turns soft and spongy.

It’s hard to push even though you put the car in neutral. the three of you still have to put all your weight into it. Jimin waits in Hobi’s car, parked on the edge. Watching your sluggish procession.

“Take your time, it’s not like I’m dying over here or anything.”

“Shut up you are not going to die” You snap. The line of the doorframe digs into your shoulder as you push with all your might, putting all of your anger and betrayal behind it because it has nowhere to go otherwise.

Jimin really isn’t helping. Hand pressed over his bullet wound, blood slowly dripping from between his fingers.

Your feet fight against the muck, sliding through it, cold and gross around your ankles. Water soaks your socks.

“Seriously I’m bleeding all over the interior. gonna have to get it detailed after i'm gone.” Hobi picks his head up from the other side, grinning at you. You think it’s the first time you’ve even felt a ghost of a smile grace your face since you got the call. He has no idea how much you need that smile.

“It’s red, won’t stain. Don't worry minnie.”

“Your concern for me is glowing.” He's smiling but Jimin’s hand is knuckle-tight over his shoulder.

“Shut up.” you grind out.

Once you get going downhill it’s easy to push the car, down down down until you hit the muck, knee-deep in the fowl-smelling stuff. You walk with it into the icy water. Hobi’s sweatshirt is so big on you and it billows around you in the brackish water. Weighing you down like an anchor in a storm. You guide the car and the cold water is up to your waist. The car thuds and then shudders, bubbling as you get it deeper and deeper.

"That should be good. Come on."

You think you’re fine until you try to pull away from the side of the car and can’t.

Hobi is already cutting through the water back towards the shore, his back to you. You can’t move, and the car is sinking inch by inch. Slowly dragging you along with it. Some corner of your sweatshirt snagged on the doorframe or hooked.

Your hands move scrabbling. Trying to find the spot at your hip where you’re caught. But you can’t see, the water is so dark you can't even see your hands below the surface. Is it terror or just the cold that makes your hands so uncooperative?

You haven’t even had time to cry out before there is a body behind you, hand closing around the spot where you’re snagged under the water, ripping the fabric with strong hands.

Jin’s hands don’t leave you once he’s untangled you, grabbing your hips and dragging you back, back through the mud and up to the embankment. His hand on the back of your neck, “I’ve got you pup, you’re okay, you’re fine.”

Hobi’s already standing up there, soaking wet too. The dust pills on your pant legs and behind you, the car gives one last gurgle. Disappearing for good.

In the dusty darkness, you look at Jin. His gaunt face, soaked with muck like you are. The ends of his hair clumped together, muddy. You blink up at him and he blinks down at you, water in his eyes.

Jimin and Hobi wait, watching you both stand there. Suddenly the gun in your waistband feels too heavy to carry any longer.

Jin closes his eyes, screwing them shut tight like he's waiting for you to shove him again. “Before you yell at me, you should know that Yoongi already knows, about me being an FBI agent. He's known since the beginning."

there is a moment of silence where hobi looks from you to jin. But then You collide with Jin burying your face in the front of his shirt. He swallows past the lump in his throat. One bloody hand comes up to touch your hair and cradle the back of your head.

“Pup- we don’t have time, we have to go. Minnie-” You pull back, eyes wet.

“Alright- alright- just- we’ll meet you at home?”

Jin turns to Hobi, nodding. Hoseok stoops, putting Jimin's legs in the back of the car, they're shaking. All of Jimin is shaking. His body is in shock from losing so much blood and from the cold.

“Don’t speed, I’ll be right behind you. Don’t give anyone a reason to pull you over.”

~-~

(Namjoon.)

The inside of the pizza parlor is balmy with the smell of cooking dough, garlic, parmesan cheese, and Jungkook's happy sunny scent. So at odds with the cold outside.

Namjoon watches Tae and Jungkook giggle and act like pups. Heart clenching the way it always does when he looks at the pack. They smell like roses and honey, like spring days far away now in winter but Namjoon can already feel the spring warmth thawing his tiredness left over from work. A haze to the edge of his vision like he's feeling bumble-bee fluff and sucking honey from the air.

Hope is hot and necessary like sunlight, and Namjoon has a whole lot of it for the future right now. and good for him honestly- it's the last easy breathes he's going to have for a good long while.

He can't believe it. You and Hobi. His body gives an involuntary happy shiver.

Yoongi catches it and raises a knowing eyebrow.

The pack is willing to wait here and give you and Hobi a little more time to sort things out. They've given you hours, they'll give maybe one more. They've already taken Tae and Jungkook out for ice cream. Dessert before dinner has both of them sugar high and hyper.

The pizza parlor is mostly empty- there are no glares or looks as they laugh loud and try to imitate a dance, jungkook's phone propped up on a napkin holder.

Namjoon and yoongi don't join in, they just stare at each other. Yoongi looks like he might be a little bit in shock, the scent blooming every few seconds, sweet chocolate cocoa when he thinks of it, and salty worry when he reaches over to check Tae's phone- just to see if you've texted.

Namjoon knows, and so does Jungkook because Jungkook knows everything.

“I can’t believe they actually-” Jungkook snorts, this isn’t the first time Yoongi’s repeated those words, he’s been muttering it under his breath every few minutes for the last few hours, mostly to himself. Jungkook indulges him this time.

“I know- I thought they’d be emotionally constipated for at least another month.”

Jungkook’s hand is nearly permanently glued to the back of Yoongi’s neck, squeezing reassuringly every few seconds. Even as he and Tae giggle and fall into each other, watching back their video on Tae’s phone. Her sparkly phone case catches the light, and little bits of glitter fall and trickle slowly just like the snow falling outside.

Namjoon's thoughts slush slowly.

Namjoon feels settled down to his bones, in that deep-seated alpha way that he’s not sure he’d be able to articulate even if he tried. Nesting tonight is gonna hit so fucking well. Namjoon is going to scent both you and Hobi until he can feel the sex and pleasure on his teeth and tongue, might just need to taste your arousal for himself. He'll be sweet about it and give you a little wiggle room just to put you back in your places. He feels half feral wanting it already. If he's not careful a scenting like that might send Hobi into rut or you into heat.

Namjoon's almost trembling at the idea of it.

God fucking damn it, he's so in love it hurts a little. He’s sure that Yoongi feels the same deep calmness, the sense of rightness, thinking about you and Hobi.

Yoongi’s lopsided grin says It finally fucking happened. Namjoon’s dimpled smile says, I know, I’m surprised we didn’t have to orchestrate it. They don’t have to say it, the soft words would be swallowed up under the music playing over the loudspeaker (the idol group that Jimin guards- their newest hit).

Their knees are nested between each other’s on the too-small table and too-small seats. Namjoon’s big palm on Yoongi’s knee all tight. His hand over the pack alphas, tangling and playing together in a way that Jin would call flirting without words and Tae might call poetic.

The pack took one car to the pizza place, Namjoon's, gathering snow outside. Probably a bad move honestly because Namjoon is on call. The surgery this morning went off without a hitch, clipping aneurysms on a middle-aged alpha usually goes off without a hitch because Namjoon is quite good at his job. If anything happens post-op Namjoon will have to leave them stranded here.

As Namjoon watches something crosses Yoongi’s face that looks a bit like confusion, his hand leaves Namjoon’s to settle on his hip. Eyebrows pulling together.

Huh? Is it the mating mark?

Their food has just arrived, cauliflower pizza for Jungkook, a messy calzone for Yoongi, and his own meat-filled slice when his phone buzzes in his pocket. Namjoon smiles seeing Hobi’s contact, and answers it. It’s you on the line when he picks up.

“Whatever you do, don’t put me on speaker. Don’t react. Just go somewhere where you won’t be overheard by anyone.” Namjoon's smile falls instantly.

Something about your tone has goosebumps rising on his arms. inexplicable, whether it's instincts or just the fact that Namjoon knows your voice and has never heard you sound like this that tips him off he's not sure.

You’re in the back of Hobi’s car, Jimin sprawled across your lap, your fingers stroking down his cheek, your other hand putting pressure on his bullet wound. Jimin lets out these little hiccupping breaths and in the front seat, Hobi’s eyes flick to the two of you. Your pause your call to soothe him, letting him inhale big settling breaths of your scent. Nose and mouth pressed hard to your wrist. Teeth biting down because Jimin needs something to muffle his pained growl.

"Just hold on Minnie, I know it hurts. We’re almost back to the house."

Namjoon hears it, and his whole body goes cold.

You can say many things about the pack, about pack alphas and pack omegas, but listening goes both ways. Namjoon would never dream of disobeying you when you talk like this. Namjoon stands and walks to the door mechanically. Only when he’s outside, cold air swirling around him, does he speak.

“What’s wrong?”

“Something’s happened," Namjoon closes his eyes "-and I need you not to tell the others. I need you to come home and leave Jungkook and Tae. Jimin's hurt and we need you.”

Namjoon feels the moment the tense breath in his chest sticks there and he realizes you’re not joking. Jungkook looks up, furrowing his eyebrows at Namjoon in the dark window. The snowflakes falling catch the lamplight around him, dotting his red sweatshirt like the reverse of blood on snow.

There’s a pause and then, “There’s a lot you don’t know, but I need you to hurry.”

Namjoon nods then pauses when he realizes you can’t see. He’s not sure he’s ever heard you sound so serious.

“Do you understand why I’m asking you this Namjoon?”

Namjoon has always been an honest alpha, even when it doesn’t stroke his ego. “No.”

“Because if Tae sees what’s happening, she’s going to need someone to comfort her, and everyone needs to be focused on mini right now.” Your voice trembles, breaking. Below you, Jimin smiles, leaning into your arm. Babbling little and delirious from pain and blood loss.

“Love you so much Tae- wanna be your mate- wanna marry you too if y/n lets me- wanna have your pups."

"Jimin. You are an alpha. You can't get pregnant." Hobi says dryly from the driver's seat, making a very careful left turn that's so slow that it garners a honk from the people behind him.

"But Tae could at least try-"

You close your eyes against the lights of the highway, and across your lap you feel wet soaking into your pant legs. You don't look down, You know it’s blood. It’s so warm, spilling across your knees like sunshine. Bubbling up with every heartbeat.

You don’t know how much more blood Jimin can lose before it’s critical, which is why you need Namjoon.

“-And if Jungkook finds out the stress could make him have a seizure.”

Namjoon is silent on the other end of the line. Completely quiet. Frozen on the sidewalk outside of the pizza place. Above him, the pastel blue pizzeria sign buzzes and flickers. Namjoon inhales the cold air, his exhale coming out warm and steamy visible. When he turns to look inside Yoongi is already staring.

Namjoon must look devastated because Yoongi shoots to his feet. Saying something to the others before he heads out after Namjoon. The bell clinging until he's right there reaching for the phone.

“I’ll see you at home.” You shut your eyes tight. “Bring Yoongi too. I need him.”

The phone in Namjoon’s hands buzzes and when he looks the call has disconnected.

~-~

It's a good thing that most of the snow has melted off or else you’d have a harder time concealing Jimin’s bleeding form as you pull into the driveway. You’re barely outside for a handful of seconds. No curtains move in the shuttered windows of your neighbors. No one is in the cul-de-sac, not even Noodle is waiting for you on the rock wall.

There is no red trail in the snow, just a few drops that land on the dark slate walkway that you’ll clean up before morning. The porch light is off and Your hand leaves a dark imprint on the railing as you rush to open the door for Jin and Hobi, supporting Jimin between the two of them.

But the door opens before you can get to it.

"Joonie!” Jimin's tone drips with false cheer, grinning at the pack alpha and your mate standing just inside the house. As Jin and hobi half drag and half carry Jimin inside and out of sight. Blood dripps down the side of his face from his temple to his chin.

“Holy fuck” your mate mutters. Out of Jin and Hobi and you- you easily have the most blood on yourself. Your pants are soaked through with it and muck from the river, even your hair feels wet and sticky. You must certainly look like a sight, like something out of a nightmare or a bad memory- yoongi can take his pick.

(In truth, the sight of you blood soaked brings up only one other night in yoongi's memory; a night just as tense and pain filled as this. the night you killed Geumjae. This won't be the last time Yoongi sees you soaked in blood either. But at least next time the blood you'll wear won't be the packs and you'll be wearing it as a king and not a pawn).

The drive must have truly taken a toll on him because the second the door closes behind you Jimin’s knees give out and his eyes roll back, passing out as the last bit of energy vanishes from his body. Hobi almost falls with him, but Namjoon and Yoongi are quick to come to his aid.

“Quick- the table.”

Yoongi clears the dining room table with a simple swipe of his hands, sending the bowl of tangerines scattering, rolling like many mini suns across the hardwood floor. They put him down as gently as they can, but Jimin's a puppet with his strings cut. Namjoon swoops in, more trained than any of you, grabbing Jimin’s ankles and holding them up above his heart.

"Come on- Minnie- come on " Namjoon reaches over to tap Jimin’s cheek, gentle once and harder the second time, more of a true slap. Jimin gasps awake, but he’s only half conscious. It’s twilight, his eyelashes fluttering face pale. Mumbling Tae's name over and over again.

"Jin, hold his legs up for me- here"

You’ve never seen Namjoon move so mechanically, so professionally. He's already wearing sterile gloves. His black doctor’s bag cracked open and full of gauze and other medical paraphernalia. The skin around the bullet wound is pinched with blood. Gushing fresh as Namjoon cuts away as much of the tourniquet as he dares with a pair of kitchen shears.

Jimin’s head lolls to the side.

Namjoon lets out a single wet noise. You haven’t heard him cry in so long, you don’t realize that’s what it is until you look at his face.

Your mate’s face is pale and gaunt as he looks at you over the dining room table. “Didn’t you tell him anything?”

“No- I wasn’t sure what to say, I-” Yoongi’s eyes flicker down to Minnie, then up at Jin who looks like he might be about to pass out himself. Holding himself away.

“Who shot him? Did someone corner you? Jin-”

Jin lifts his chin about to confess but before he can Namjoon snaps “Everyone needs to be quiet- please.”

Namjoon places his stethoscope oh so gently to jimin's skin Even the slight action makes Jimin’s face twist in pain. The whole pack is quiet and still, like statues.

The moment passes syrup slow, And Namjoon moves his stethoscope an inch to the left, then the right. Only then does he toss it down onto the floor. Grabbing a sterile towel from his medicine bag and presses it hard over the bullet wound. Closing his eyes and grimacing before he stuffs it, fingers and all into the bullet wound.

Jimin jerks violently, howling, nearly thrashing in pain if it weren’t for Namjoon and Yoongi and you holding him down. He flails, hitting you in the face knocking you back.

Hobi catches you before you fall. “I’m fine, it’s okay just- help them hold Minnie" your hand over your hot cheek. It will probably bruise- but you don't even care as you watch as Namjoon pulls himself onto the kitchen table, putting his full body weight over the bullet wound to try and stem the bleeding.

“He needs a hospital. We need to pack it and then take him there. He’s lost too much blood.”

"We can’t- all bullet wounds need to be mandated reported.”

It’s not all that large of a hole to be honest. Maybe a finger with on the back side and a little smaller at Jimin's front because Jin shot Jimin at such close range. It’s a threw and threw. Even though Namjoon packed the front his back still leaks steadily.

“But Jimin will live, whatever’s going on-” Namjoon shares a glace with Yoongi Jin, then you- and you watch as it dawns on him. “wait- You do know what’s going on, theres something you're not telling me.”

It's accusatory but you nod while Jin and Yoongi stay placid. Namjoon looks once at Jin again then at you, deciding who he trusts more to correctly gauge the odds.

Namjoon looks at you, waiting.

“If the wrong people find out Jiminie is- that he’s-” you pause, and Jimin grimaces, there is blood on his teeth, in his mouth. “It might not just be him hurt by the end of it.”

“But we can’t just let him die.”

Hobi just stands by the couch, your nest just tousled as you’d left it what feels like a lifetime ago. for the first time that night- hobi breaks.

"Oh my god Jimin's going to die-"

Jin's hands are in his hair, yanking, "Tae is going to kill me-"

“Shut up, no one is dying yet. If he dies on us I’ll kill him myself.” you scoff, holding Jimin’s wrist, his hand. “I won’t even bother with a gun I’ll just..."

You fall silent with a sudden intake of breath. Yoongi's head whips in your direction. Jin too looks up from where he was just bowed, realization lighting his eyes up bright.

The three of you share a look and for a second, the only sound is Jimin's blood dripping. A little faster with every heartbeat. Down the leg of the kitchen table onto the floor in red rivulets.

Drip drip drip.

(What you don’t know about Jin and Yoongi’s tentative agreement is that even though they know about each other- they've still been on either side of this. They’ve never worked with each other, never shared querying glances like this. It's a special secret language that thieves and secret killers share.)

Yoongi follows your line of sight to the kitchen. The knives sit sheathed in the knife block. The same ones that he bought Jin as a fancy courting present years ago. The same one's Yoongi sharpens before he cuts the meat that the pack eats for samgyeopsal and bulgogi and shabushabu.

A sharp cut is an easy cut to fix, unlike a blown-apart cavernous bullet wound.

“No.” Is your first reaction. Even though it was your idea. “It’s too dangerous.”

"It won't work." is Jin's response. Namjoon glances from you to him. He hasn't yet realized what you're talking about. doesn't posess the same finess for bloodshed that the three of you do (the three of you could conquer the world, you just haven't' realized it yet)

"It will work." Yoongi straightens. there are whispers of darkness on yoongi's face. a childhood he doesn't talk about in his eyes. a childhood filled of blood and less kindness than you'd think; for it to have made a man like yoongi; who knows how to be gentle because he's felt every kind of unplesantness there is.

"I've seen it done before. A long time ago but still- it works."

“What,” Namjoon snaps. "Are you guys fucking talking about?"

“There’s another option.” Yoongi’s hands are on Jimin, holding his wrists down. his other hand tucking his hair behind his ears and kissing his bloody cheek. His hands are getting colder and there isn’t much time. He’s quiet for a moment, lips pressed to jimin's skin, before he looks up. None of you want to say what you’re thinking.

“A good stab wound with a larger knife, through and through will disguise the bullet wound. It will stop him from bleeding any more. No one will know that Jimin was shot and we can take him to the hospital."

Namjoon’s scent is sour, sour, and acrid and it makes Jimin arch in pain, face twisted. He still doesn't understand why no one must know that Jimin was shot. Still doesn't understand that it was Jin who shot him. He'll learn later over hospital coffee but for now, he misses the blood-soaked and cut up FBI vest laying in a heap on your dining room floor. No yellow left on it- just red.

“Oh, absolutely not. I’m not letting anyone stab anybody."

Jimin’s head lolls on the table. His mumbled words fall on deaf ears. “Stab away….might as well…already stabbed through the fucking heart from Tae" (how could Cupid be so cruel?)

"Joonie look at me." Your hand is on Namjoon’s arm, his shoulder, the back of his neck and he rounds on you. Alpha aggression striking before Namjoon can reign in his instincts. He almost snaps his teeth at you. You don't react at the alpha baring his teeth in your face because underneath it all is the panic of a child, a pup who's terrified he's about to lose his family (a sinking feeling in his gut that says maybe, he already has.)

You understand, you know what it's like to feel that way.

Your voice is so calm and gentle. “Namjoon- you just have to trust me. If we take Jimin to the hospital and if they have a reason to take his fingerprints. There is a very good chance Minnie will go to prison. That I will go to prison- that Yoongi will too.”

Jin blinks, eyelashes fluttering. And Namjoon is silent, Hobi's silent too. All of them watching you. Your hands are steady, and your eyes are clear. The clearest they've ever seen.

“There is a lot we haven’t told you. But you need to trust me.”

It’s then that he spots it. Yoongi’s tone is dark as he yanks the wooden mask out of Hoseok's hands. Yoongi would know those masks anywhere; the one that the family gives its employees. This specific type is to delineate a non-relative. The specific kind is the mask that killers wear.

“Where the fuck did you get this?”

You look up at him, “it’s Minnie’s.”

Yoongi’s chest heaves, breath coming quick and fast. “No, it’s not- it can’t be.”

Namjoon’s teeth look particularly sharp when he snaps. “Does anyone but me give a fuck about Jimin right now? Or do you guys only want to pretend that you do?” The rest of the pack watches Namjoon as he ties a new tourniquet. A better one. he can't meet your eyes. quiet and furious as he pulls the knot tight.

“There are too many ligaments in Jimin’s arm, you could cripple him.”

“What other choice do we have?"

“So thats it?” your voice is a shred past hysterical, “we just take him to the hospital and let him go to jail, or let him bleed out and die here?”

The four of you stand over Jimin, on the kitchen table, the spot where you’ve eaten dinner and broken bread and loved each other for the last year. A place of nourishment and love now a place of pain and terror.

You walk three strides to the kitchen and grab the largest steak knife from the kitchen block. Your eyes dark and determined as you stare them down.

"I'll do it if you won't! I'm not letting Jimin go to prison!" you blink tears out of your eyes and there is a moment of silence, a moment where everyone just looks at you.

There is a warm body at your back, a strong chest and long arms that you know circling your waist to pull you back against them. Rubbing soft down your stomach as another comes up to guide your hand. long fingers that curl around your small fist. Grabbing the knife and guiding it, syrup slow out of your grasp.

"There we go" hobi says, words whisper soft.

It's like his words break the spell. “Give me that thing before you hurt yourself.” namjoon snaps.

Namjoon holds the knife and everyone watches as he walks to the pack's liquor cabinet. grabbing the nearest highest proof bottle that he can find and pouring it over the kitchen blade.

“If anyone’s going to do it, it should be me, because I know where Jimin’s joint is.” The pack nods, agreeing. Scattering.

You toss a rag to Jin. “Wipe the gunshot residue from your hands before we get to the hospital. Wipe Jimin’s too while you’re at it. Just in case.”

Namjoon holds the knife in the kitchen. You all have some amount of Jimin’s blood on you and he blinks from the table lucid.

“Yoongi,” Namjoon asks, staring down at Jimin, knife in his hand. “Go outside and warm up the car. You’ll drive because you have the steadiest hands besides me.”

You and Jin and Hobi are silent, everyone just watches namjoon for a second. Yoongi hesitates, turning back in the doorway. "Do it from behind that way Jimin can say he didn't see who stabbed him."

Namjoon nods, looking down.

There is Jimin’s blood on the doorknob and the floor. You wonder who’s going to clean it up.

“Yoongi,” Namjoon asks, and your mate starts, running out the door, leaving it open so that the cold can slip in. Namjoon’s hand tightens on the knife.

Jimin grins up at him from the table, eyelashes fluttering.

"Do it."

~-~

Please Like, Comment, and Reblog <3 Every little bit of encouragement helps <3

Come tell me what you liked about this chapter!

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~-~

Notes:

the line "A faceless god, if you’re going to take so much from him- the least you can do is give me this." is a call back to a line all the way in the beginning of the series where tae writes "the least you could have done was leave me whole" about yoongi.

the beginning feels a little drawn out but honestly i feel like it's such a traumatizing moment that it makes sense. the beginning was one of those cases that i read it so many times i can't tell if its ass or gas- so it's up for you to decide. i like the later parts of the chapter a lot better.

All things said, hobi is taking this incredibly well.

I was such a sleepy bunny editing this this morning! i'm sorry if there are more errors than usual.

ooh they fighting~ this might be a little bit of a /oh shit/ confession- but i greatly belived that the m/c would have killed jin had she thought that he was actually trying to kill jimin for being involved with the mafia like- one wrong move on his part and she might have shot him. they're gonna forget about it and nothing will change between them but god- that moment where he comes around the corner could have gone so bad if she was a little more trigger happy.

honestly i started to hate this chapter halfway through editing it, if there was ever one that i needed you to show love to its this one god 😮‍💨 i never thought i'd feel out of practice writing this sort of thing.

are the funny parts out of place? do they break up the terror too much or just the right amount?

I cannot take credit for the methodology behind how they hide jimin's bullet wound. i will confess this is copied from an episode of Elementary- ie the american version of sherlock. i tried to look it up if you could possibly conceal bullet wounds this way and didn't find anything so you're just gonna have to trust me.

389 notes · View notes

fruitmins · 1 year

Text

Agust Dad—Four

➭ summary: Your a producer from another company that he happened to be collaborating with on his 2nd album D-2. At the release party— one drunk action leads to another, you do the worst thing you can do in the industry and change your fate forever.

➭genre: short series, pregnancy au, idol au, angst, dad au

➭warnings: a couple cuss words, mention of abortion

note: this was supposed to be done yesterday, oopsies. Updated the tag list for everyone who wanted to be on it and some of them don’t work for some reason

Taglist: @welcometomyworld13 @tatyhend @jiminiesunicorn @littlestarstinyseven @baechugff @thelilbutifulthings @tearykth @familiarlikemymirror3 @coree730 @prajusstuff @wobblewobble822 @choisoorin @manuosorioh @0funsite0 @whipwhoops @bergandysam @aloverga @illnevertrustmyselfagain @silentreadersthings @butterymin @girl-nahh @linneasblog @cuntessaiii @nikkiordonez12 @chl0buggy @serendididy

A week later, Yoongi is at your house again. But this time it feels like a dream.

Unlike the last visits, there’s a nice and expensive car parked outside with tinted windows. And also unlike the last times, he attempts to cover up his face.

He has a mask under his chin with black sunglasses that matches the black beanie he has on to cover most of his hair.

You hate that he still looks nice.

You take your eyes out of the peephole and open the door to greet him face and to face. You also have glasses on the cover your eyes (and the black bags under them) and a mask.

“You didn’t have to walk me to the car..” You mumble as you step out and close the door behind you.

“In a neighborhood like this, and a porch like this...” his voice trails off as he glances around the outside of your house with a slight repulsed expression.

You roll your eyes as you step down the stairs and to his car, quickly pushing back the thought of him actually caring about you on the way down.

“The company hadn’t really blew up yet,” you say in response to his comment on your house. “Which is probably why they sold their souls to HYBE..” you remark in a low voice as you get into the passenger seat.

You hear Yoongi snicker at your comment as he gets in the drivers seat but doesn’t say anything else. It's only a few days since he first found out that the baby was his. In the subsequent days, you've spoken at length with him about the situation.

He let you know that he had done you the honors of canceling your original appointment and setting something up with a more professional and private hospital that worked with celebrities and idols. Even though he thought you would freak out about it, you didn’t. It just shows further that he seems committed to being involved in your baby's life, which is a relief but also makes you nervous.

The two of you show up at the clinic together, and it's the first time you've spent time one-on-one since you got pregnant. It's also the first time you've properly spoken, without the usual tension between you.

Yoongi walks alongside you, his expression soft and his gaze almost gentle but also serious.

The time passes in a flash, and before you know it, you're in the room, getting an ultrasound with Yoongi standing next to you, his eyes glued to the screen as the doctor goes about her work.

Your eyes are also glued to the screen. There’s no isn’t much on it, the baby being small and it doesn’t even look human. But you can’t help but get slightly emotional at the sight of it.

“Wow,” the doctor exclaims, taking off the stethoscope out of her ears and putting it on yours instead. The other end is pressed against your stomach, and your eyes widen when you hear a fast heartbeat in your ears.

It isn’t your heartbeat. It’s your baby’s.

Your glossy eyes trail over to Yoongi, listening to the heartbeat as the doctor pull as away to look at her clipboard. She writes something down and then takes the stethoscope out of your ears. “You wanna listen, dad?” She asks Yoongi, catching him off guard.

You can tell he is caught off guard, his eyes flicking to you and then to the doctor. He swallows a lump on his throat and silently walks over to you. The stethoscope slowly goes into his ears and you watch his body freeze as his dark brown eyes meet yours.

“Well, your baby is very healthy congratulations.” She starts off as you try to tear your eyes away from Yoongi’s. “And you’re due sometime in early or mid March.”

Her sentence damn near knocks the wind out of you. This time, Yoongi’s emotions are clear to you, his eyes widen slightly and filled with emotion. You can’t help but chuckle at the crazy circumstance.

Yoongi’s birthday was in March.

You weren’t planning to go back to work until the morning sickness died down, but you can’t help but feel a different sinking filling in your stomach when you stood outside of your bosses office after he called you in.

You take a breath and walk in the door, your feet immediately freezing when you see much more than your boss in the room.

Bang Si-Hyuk.

Hitman Bang.

This couldn’t be good.

“Ah, Ms Y/N. Please, sit down.” He says when he notices you, gesturing towards a chair by the table he was sitting out.

Cautiously, you make your way to a seat and sit down and just when your butt hits the chair, the door opens.

You grow pale when you glance up and see Yoongi walk into the room. He doesn’t notice you right away, but when he does he lets out a curse under his breath. “Shit.”

This definitely wasn’t good.

“Ah, Yoongi. Come sit.” Bang says, his smile only widening when he sees Yoongi. Yoongi goes to take a seat across from you but he doesn’t seem to be thrilled that he is here.

It’s quiet for a minute, Bang Si-Hyuk just looking back and forth at you and Yoongi, analyzing the two of you but you can’t even look at Yoongi. The tension between the three of you is almost palpable.

“Just curious, how do you two know each other?” He speaks after moment of silence that feels like years. You shift uncomfortably in your chair but can’t bring yourself to answer. You can’t even bring yourself to look at him as he talked.

Yoongi doesn’t bother saying either his gaze looking entirely unperturbed but even he can’t stare at his boss. He clearly anticipated that something like this would happen, and he's not ready to defend you just yet. It was like the two of you were caught kissing under the bleachers and were in the principals office.

“You must know each other well seeing as though Yoongi took you to a private doctor and stayed in there with you through the whole thing and then came out holding hands.” He speaks again in a daring and mocking tone but the two of you stay quiet, your heart thumping as he brings up the private doctor.

“Well, maybe the HYBE employee who saw you got it wrong. Maybe he was misunderstood the situation,” he says again, taking a pause as he leans closer to you. “Why were you there? Was it an abortion?”

You see Yoongi’s eyes snap up to his boss at the corner of your eye. His gaze hardens and he clenches his jaw. Si-Hyuk notices this as well and glances at you and then back at Yoongi with a dry chuckle.

He leans back and folds his arms, opening his mouth to say anything but you speak first before he can say anything else bold to provoke an answer out of Yoongi.

“It was my seven week ultrasound.” You sprout out, your eyes widening in shock as if you weren’t the one that said it.

It gets quiet again as Si-Hyuk slowly turns to look at you, looking amused as he lets out a long dramatic sigh. “Ms, are you aware that having relations with someone in the same company is not aloud?” He asks calmly and your eyes widen.

Your mortified. Panicked and scared. Your worst fear was coming to life. You were going to loose your job. As the reality of your situation starts to set in, your face heats up and you feel your heart in your throat. Si-Hyuk isn't kidding, and you're about to lose your job.

"Boss, I don't think you understand. It was a one-night thing–"

"A one-night thing that resulted in a baby." Si-Hyuk says in a clipped tone, cutting you off.

“Expect she wasn’t at the company when this happened.” Yoongi speaks up quickly for you, who is to busy panicking and frozen to point that out yourself.

“Still, no relations with one another are aloud here.” Si-Hyuk responds calmly to him.

“There is no relations.” Yoongi rebutted quickly and you can’t help but feel a sharp pain in your heart at his words, almost physically flinching back.

You don’t know why, put there’s a sting that washes over you at how fast he responded. How fast he denied having any connecting with you, days after he listened to the baby’s heart rate.

You know you’re sensitive, that maybe he was just trying to help keep your job. And you shouldn’t feel heartbroken but you do. And you hate that you do.

“Great, so you’ll have no problem with me firing her.” Si-Hyuk snaps you out of your trance, your face paling as your eyes widen.

Your eyes snap towards Yoongi in shock and you catch him get a glimpse at your mortified face as he shakes his head and cusses again. “Shit.”

“You know this isn’t fucking fair. There are laws. You can’t fire her over this.” He argues as Si-Hyuk basically laughs in his face.

“Watch me.” He says simply and you don’t know if you want Yoongi to keep defending you or want him to shut up instead. Before anyone can speak again Si-Hyuk turns towards you again. “Y/N, you’re fired. I expect your things to be cleared by tomorrow evening.”

Your mouth falls open in shock, and the color drains from your already pale face. Your heart thumps at his words, too stunned to speak as tears cloud your eyes, making your vision blur. “Wait, please-“ you try to plead in a panic.

You had just switched to this company and it was your only money source. You knew that being a solo producer was inconsistent and you were likely to get scammed by whoever you worked with.

“You’re dismissed.” He cuts you off quickly, gesturing to the door and your to stunned to speak more. You’re to shocked at everything that you can’t even peg for your job back. “Yoongi, I still have things to discuss with you.”

With a heavy breathing and a pained feeling in your chest, you slowly get up from the chair, bowing to him to side the tears in your eyes before quickly stumbling out of the door.

You can't believe that you just lost your job, all because of a mistake you made in a moment of weakness.

When you’re in the hallway you hear Yoongi start to yell at him but you can’t make out the words, you don’t want to know. You just want to get far away, and cry. All you wanted was for this day to go by normally, but instead you've been faced with the reality of your situation.

Your boss doesn't care.

Your future more uncertain than it was before.

You start to walk down the empty hallway, hugging your arms as tears fall uncontrollably as you let out a sniffle. The weight of someone’s hands on your shoulders snap you back to reality. When you turn around your face to face with Yoongi.

It’s Yoongi.

“Hey, I can try to change his mind or pull some strings—“ he tries to say but you just shrug his hand off your shoulder.

“Haven’t you done enough?” You snap at him with a harsh tone but it doesn’t even make him flinch. “I have nothing now. All because you wouldn’t leave me alone like I told you to.” You have tears in your eyes, because despite everything, you desperately wanted this to work. Because you desperately wanted everything to be okay.

“So just leave me alone now, please.” Your voice shakes and is filled with emotion. Your words seem to have the effect of taking Yoongi by surprise. His arms drop to his sides and his body language shifts, his focus turning inwards. You can almost see the thoughts racing across his head.

He looks like he wants to say something too, like he is carefully picking out his words before saying them. But you don’t want to hear anything he has to say. You don’t want to see him. You don’t want him to continuously make a mess of your life.

You know how whiny you should and that you should be grateful to have an idol who isn’t willing to leave you in the dust, but you can’t help but wish he had.

He pauses for a moment and lets out a sigh, before speaking. “I have a feeling that’s going to become impossible Y/N.” He states, much to your confusion.

“And why is that?” You ask him suspiciously as your cheeks start to dry up and you let out s sniffle.

“Bang what’s to get ahead of this before the media does,” he speaks cautiously and carefully, tip toeing around the point and that makes you even more anxious. “He isn’t going to use your name, but in case someone found out he didn’t want any trace of you at the company to avoid a scandal so he had to fire you—“

“Use my name for what?” You cut him off firmly, taking a step closer to him as you look at him straight in the eyes.

“I told him I want to be in the baby’s life,” your heart beats faster at his words. You were telling him to stay away after he just told his boss he wanted to be involved. He hasn’t cracked yet.

He continues, “So before anyone else can find out, he’s releasing a statement saying that I’ve been in a two year relationship and have a baby on the way.”

Great.

675 notes · View notes

fairysluna · 8 months

Text

INVISIBLE STRING | Chapter 6: girl at home.

New Girl!AU — A disastrous break up led you to them; three guys living in a huge apartment and in need of a new roommate who helped with the way too expensive rent.

MASTERLIST | SERIES MASTERLIST

PAIRING — Aegon II Targaryen x Fem!Reader.

SUMMARY — Baela takes the group to a costume party where you finally meet a guy that seems decent enough to date. Oh, how wrong you were.

TAGS — cheating, mentions of blood, aegon being... protective(?, cursing, a tiny bit of angst but it's barely there, hints to family issues, mentions of sex, mentions of violence/fighting, sexual tension(?, alcohol consumption, hospitals, mentions of medicines. If something is missing, let me know!!

AUTHOR'S NOTE — this turned out to be longer than i expected, so im sorry for that💀 but at least is a gift to you for taking so much time to update, so please enjoy it!! REBLOGS AND COMMENTS ARE HIGHLY APPRECIATED!

WORD COUNT — 7.8k

PREV CHAPTERㅤ|ㅤNEXT CHAPTER

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤenglish is not my first language.

A comfortable silence ruled during breakfast, only being interrupted by the faded voice of the news reporter on the TV across the living room. Aegon was by your side, staring at his phone and enjoying his first morning after a night of sleep; he had changed his work shift after the ‘Ceryse accident’, being too embarrassed to share the same space with her after what happened.

He still hasn't been able to adapt his body to the new sleeping schedule, and probably that was the reason behind the dark circles around his eyes. You were about to ask him about how he was doing and if he had managed to sleep at least a few hours, but a cell phone started to ring causing all the attention to go towards Baela, who quickly stood up and excused herself before picking up. Four pairs of curious eyes followed her down the hallway until she was out of sight.

“It's been a week,” Aegon suddenly murmured in your direction, picking some of his cereal with the spoon and filling his mouth with it. “If she's gonna live here with us you gotta tell me. I need to be prepared.”

“She's not gonna live with us.” As you spoke, you involuntarily rolled your eyes at his comment. “She'll kick Garett out of her apartment, she told me she will leave on Monday.”

“What are you guys talking about?” Jace suddenly interrupted.

“She's telling me when her friend will finally leave,” Aegon replied before you could do it.

“She will leave?” the brunette asked with a saddened tone in his voice, almost sounding disappointed.

“Well, do you expect her to live with us? Fuck no,” The man on your side answered again, and you sighed, tiredly.

“She's gonna break up with her boyfriend — thank god, and then she'll return to her apartment,” you explained in simple words, not wanting to give extra information.

“What do you mean by ‘thank god’?” Jace’s deep brown eyes were curiously staring at you.

“Let's just say I'm happy it's over,” you shrugged. “After everything he'd done…”

“What had he done?” He questioned again.

“I don't think I should be the one talking about that, Jace,” you cut him off before he made any more questions. “You can talk to her, you know? Ask her what she’s been up to lately… maybe indulge in a conversation like normal people do. Ever since she arrived you've barely spoken to her, what's up with that?”

“Believe me, I tried,” he sighed, defeated. “But she looks at me and I forget every single word,” he shyly confessed.

“What’s your thing with her anyway?” Aemond interrupted, finally being part of the conversation after minutes of pure silence.

“He lost his virginity with her,” Aegon suddenly replied before Jace, who gave him a shocked look.

Your mouth dropped, “You knew?”

“Of course, I knew,” he shrugged. “He asked me for advice.”

“Aegon!” Jace scolded him. “That was between us, it was a secret!”

“Well, not anymore.”

“Gods, how did you manage to do that?” Aemond’s shock was reflected on his face as he turned to see his nephew, whose cheeks were covered with a pink tone.

“I don’t know…” Jace’s forehead soon was pressed against the table as he groaned, pitying himself.

“If you did it once then you can do it again!” you said in a failed attempt to give him support.

“I’m an idiot,” he mumbled.

“On that much, we agree, dear nephew,” Aemond added.

Aegon scoffed. “Who are you to talk? Ever since Alys dumped you, you haven't even gone partying anymore. You used to be a slut, now you're like a grumpy, old man who suffers from erectile dysfunction or something like that.”

“Shut up,” his brother muttered, annoyed. “I've been busy. I have a job, you know? A grown man’s job.”

“Being Rhaenyra’s secretary,” he reminded him, mockingly. “Does she make you wear a tube skirt and glasses while you prepare her coffee?” he teased him.

“At least she thought I was good enough to give me a job,” he snapped back. One single glance at your side made you realize that it was a hard punch for him; Aegon's jaw tensed.

“Alright,” you stepped in, giving an awkward look at Jace, who just cleared his throat. “This got out of hand very quickly…”

The silence that now fell in the room was not quite as comfortable as it was before. Aemond had returned his attention to his breakfast oatmeal, while Aegon started to tap his fingers around the half-empty bowl of cereal. Jace was already used to these little fights between them, and he had warned you about them - telling you that Aemond would usually be the one who says the last word. You felt a tightness in your chest when you noticed how Aegon was bouncing his leg, anxiously.

A few seconds later, Baela returned to the dining room with a mischievous smile drawn on her face. You were grateful because now the awkwardness that had arrived in the room quickly faded away once her presence was acknowledged by everyone.

“We've been invited to a costume party!” Baela announced, excitedly. You tried to match her emotion but failed. “We have to go. It'll be fun! You'll finally get a break from all those papers you're forced to read…”

“When is it?” you asked.

“Today, at 10 pm.”

“Today?! Are you kidding? Where are we supposed to find costumes?”

“Babe, it's 11 am on a Saturday, we can go around downtown and find something to rent,” she proposed, sitting back in the chair at the head of the table. “Come on! The guys can come too if they want!”

“Yes-”

“-No”

Jace and Aegon shared a bad look after they spoke at the same time. Almost involuntarily, you turned to glance at the eldest while his nephew seemed to be sending daggers in his direction; he didn't care.

“Why don't you want to go?” you asked.

“Because I don't want to,” he simply responded. “Besides, my shift now ends at 9 pm, which means I'd have like an hour to change and do all that crap. Also, I don't have a costume, so fuck it.”

“It's free booze, Aegon,” Jace added, in a desperate attempt to make him say yes. “You love free alcohol!”

“No way,” he said as he shook his head. “I won't go.”

“I will go,” Aemond entered the conversation once again.

“Wow. You're finally taking off that stick on your ass, huh?” Aegon jested.

“Don’t be a bummer, Aegon,” his brother quickly replied, rolling his eye.

Aegon scoffed, “I can’t believe you’re the one saying that to me…”

“You’re the only one who doesn’t want to go,” you pointed out, interrupting the discussion before it got worse.

“Yeah, and for a good reason.”

“Which is…?”

“I hate costumes.”

“Well, if Aegon doesn’t want to go, then he can stay here,” Baela interrupted while rolling her eyes, a bit annoyed. “Don’t force him.”

“Finally something coherent came out of your mouth. Thank you, Bella!” Aegon said.

“Oh, gods, shut up,” she mumbled.

You sighed defeated as everyone returned their attention to their food, because –for some reason– you wanted him there with you. You wanted to spend a moment with him again, like the one you had in your room just a few days ago. It was probably nothing, or maybe the desperate need to know more of him. However, after the three months you've been living with him, you came to realize that he was extremely stubborn, and it was nearly impossible to convince him to do something he didn't want to do. You just let it go.

Another time will come, you said to yourself.

As they started to finish their breakfast, everyone stood up from the table and went to their rooms to start planning their last-minute costumes for the party. You, instead, decided to stay there a bit longer, being Aegon's company as he was finishing his second portion of cereal.

“You can go if you want, it's my turn to wash the dishes anyway,” he spoke with his mouth full. You softly chuckled to see how strangely cute he looked like that.

“Nah, it’s fine,” you shrugged. “I have nothing to do and I guess there's gonna be a long waiting list for the shower, so…” There was a small pause before you spoke again. “Are you okay?”

He frowned at you, “what?”

“It's just- I saw how you reacted when Aemond said that thing about your sister,” you shrugged. “I just want to make sure you're okay after that. It was a bit mean.”

“Fuck him, I don't care what he says. I learned to not listen to that stupid shit,” he mumbles.

“But why-”

“What are you going to wear?” he suddenly asked, interrupting you. You pressed your lips in a thin line, knowing that he asked the question so he would have a way out from the prior conversation - you didn't push it any further.

“I don't know. Guess I'll have to see the options. Any recommendations?”

He stopped for a second, pretending to be thinking. “Maybe Barney, it fits with your sex appeal.”

Before you allowed yourself to laugh at his teasing, your hand fell on his arm, playfully smacking his pale skin. He chuckled, jokingly complaining about it. You rolled your eyes.

“I was joking,” he said while trying to hide his smile. “I was actually thinking about Baby Bop because-”

“Alright, bye.” You stood up, picking your dirty dishes and taking them to the sink. “Remember to wash the dishes.” You reminded him, hiding the smile on your face from him.

“I will, Baby Bop,” he joked again.

“Shut up!”

Part of you felt slightly ridiculous with the costume you were wearing. Dorothy's dress was the only one that was available in your size, and in such a hurry you didn't have time to keep lurking in other places for a better option. It was done, and while Baela looked absolutely gorgeous in her Catwoman bodysuit, you were there, looking at yourself in the mirror and feeling embarrassed.

While everyone was waiting for you - ready to go, you took one last glance at your sparkling, red shoes before taking a deep breath and walking out of your bedroom. Your steps were slow and doubtful - too self-conscious to feel confident in your outfit.

Once you arrived in the next room, you saw Jace dressed like a prince with a golden, plastic crown lying on top of his curls. What you didn't expect was to see Aegon there. Wearing a costume too.

It was a big surprise to see him sitting on the couch dressed as the scarecrow from Wizard of Oz - you couldn't help but smile at the coincidence; both of you involuntarily wearing matching outfits. His eyes, however, lacked any happiness - looking as if someone had forced him to wear such ridiculous clothing; bored and pissed. Seeing him like that made you feel less self-conscious about your own clothes. You were relieved.

Aegon's eyes fell upon your frame, and you felt something inside your gut that brought a subtle heat to your cheeks. You were playing nervously with the hem of your dress as he unconsciously smiled at you. For whatever reason, that gesture made your knees weak.

“Oh my! How cute you look!” Baela interrupted the moment, approaching you with quick steps. When she reached your side, she grabbed your hand and forced you to twirl around, showing off your costume and making you giggle nervously. “And look at that- what a coincidence! you're matching with Aegon..” Her tone was easily recognizable; playful and humorous.

“It's the only one they had in the store for less than fifty golden dragons,” Aegon muttered. He stood up from the couch, walking closer to you.

He stared at you, up and down. There was nothing on his face that could show you what he was thinking at the moment - it was almost a blank stare. You thought he was about to make a quick remark mocking your choice of clothes, but instead, he just nodded and in a soft, but shy, tone he said: “You look really pretty.”

A smile was drawn on your lips. “Thank you,” you mumbled.

“A Baby Bop costume would've fit better, but I guess Dorothy is also a good option.” You laughed at his words, and he laughed too.

“So you're going, huh? Who convinced you?”

“Let’s just say that Jacaerys really wants me there,” he breathed out, using that same unbothered tone as always. “He's desperate to have your friend back.”

“He definitely is,” you nodded in agreement. “Well, it'll be nice to have your company tonight.”

The moment was interrupted once Aemond joined the group. He was wearing his eyepatch, a loose, white shirt and some tight, leather pants. The strong smell of his cologne invaded the place, his hair was as shiny as usual and he was smearing some kind of cream all over his hands. “Are we ready to go?” He asked.

“What are you supposed to be?” Jace stepped in.

Aemond looked down at his outfit. “I’m a pirate” he said, as if it was blatantly obvious.

“It’s not a costume if you use it every day, Aemond,” Aegon mocked him. “It’s just clothes.”

“Shut up,” his younger brother grunted. “At least I don't look like a pile of straw.”

“Oh Gods!” You interrupted, exasperated with the two of them. “You two are literally kids. Just shut up and let’s get going.”

The room fell into silence while you went to pick up your car keys and your bag. A single gesture from you and they started to walk in a line out of the loft. Once everyone was out, you made sure everything was locked.

“I ask for the passenger seat,” Aegon said behind your back.

“Fuck off, that’s my seat,” Baela argued.

It was going to be one hell of a night.

Aegon complained the whole way there - he had lost in a match of rock, paper scissors against Baela which led him to be seated in the backseat between Aemond and Jace. Baela's mockery did not help to calm him down.

Once you arrived, you parked in the street and immediately saw the enormous house; it was overly packed. Whoever invited Baela to the party must have a pocket filled with cash - it was a modern house, surrounded by huge windows that had you wondering where was the privacy of that house, and how could anyone be able to afford such a mansion in today's economy?

The group walked up the stairs towards the big entrance, already smelling the weed and cigarette smoke that invaded the whole place. The front yard was a mess - the green grass was covered with red plastic cups and empty beer bottles. Aegon groaned by your side as he noticed this thing, and when he realized that the situation inside the house didn't get better he cursed under his breath.

“I'm gonna go and find something to drink,” Baela announced.

“Let me go with you,” Jace said, loudly enough so she would hear.

Baela smiled, grabbed his hand and took him with her until they were out of your sight.

“I think I'm gonna go to the backyard,” Aemond said, looking slightly disgusted. “There's too many sweaty people here.”

Before either of you could stop him, he left you both right in the middle of the party. You turned around, looking at Aegon with a smile, but he only frowned - you could tell by the look of his eyes that he was judging everything and everyone, already regretting the past decisions that led him to that awful place.

“I can't believe Jace convinced me to come to this shit hole,” he grunted. “I could've stayed at home.”

“We're already here. Try to enjoy it!”

“It’s hard to enjoy this when they’re playing music as shitty as this! And what is that smell? What kind of weed do these people smoke?”

“Just try to have a good time!” You cheered him up, but his face remained serious. “Come on! This is fun!”

You tried to change his mind by dancing around, occasionally grabbing his hands to force him to dance with you, yet he remained stiff as wood - his frown grew even more pronounced. He scanned the room around him, ignoring your desperate attempts to change his mind. Suddenly you noticed how he leaned closer to you, raising his voice so you would hear him through the loud music.

“Do you even know these people?”

His question made you stop and sigh in defeat. Gods, he was impossible.

“Look, Aegon,” you said loudly. “If you want to leave, then that’s fine. But you’ll have to call and pay for an Uber because I drove us here and I won’t drive you back to the apartment now.”

“I didn’t even want to be-”

“Just do as you please, Aeg. I’ll go and find the guys.” Those last words reflected your disappointment, and Aegon noticed it.

He saw how you turned around and walked away; he called your name before you disappeared, but you were too far to hear him calling for you. Aegon cursed himself for upsetting you, brushing his hands against his face and accidentally poking his soft cheeks with the fake straw on his sleeves. That goddamned costume made him feel ridiculous, and even when there were other ones available —contrary to what he'd said earlier— he stupidly chose the one that was the least comfortable. Having you by his side would actually make him feel less of a clown due to the matching costumes, but now that you had left him alone he felt slightly embarrassed of himself.

Knowing that he was on his own in a sea of unknown people, Aegon decided to approach the bar, asking for a shot of tequila and drinking it before the barman arrived with the lemons and the salt - his throat burned with the liquor and he hissed. He would start looking around, unconsciously searching for your face in the crowd, trying to keep himself busy so he wouldn't feel the anxiety growing in his chest.

Unable to stay in the same place for too much time, he began to wander around the house, still looking for you. Maybe if he hadn't been such a pain in the ass you would've stayed by his side - but he was well known for always fucking things up.

Walking around the party, occasionally being pushed by the people who were too busy dancing to even care, he found the food tables; he ate a few things there, a few chips and some unsalted peanuts that he swallowed with disgust. As he went to search for something more tasteful to eat, he suddenly saw you talking to a tall, bulky guy who was making you giggle as if you were a teenager. Aegon stood there for a while, observing your behaviour and reading your expressions; you were flirting - looking up at him through your lashes, licking your lips and playing with the glass between your hands. Since when you were that good at talking to guys?

Aegon was proud. Last time he saw your poor attempt to flirt, Aemond's wheels got stolen and you said that these things weren't your style - yet there you are, more confident than ever and ready to put yourself out there again. He was happy for you, but after a while of giving glances in your direction, he started to feel some odd feeling installed in his gut; it was as if he didn't want to see any more of that, yet he felt the need to do it regardless - and it only became worse once the guy grabbed your waist and pulled you closer to him.

He took a deep breath, and soon his legs started to guide him away from you.

When he came across Jacaerys and Baela, they were standing in a corner talking about something he didn't really care about. Some part of him, however, found some relief when he finally saw two known faces amidst the enormous crowd of people that was already starting to overwhelm him. He tried to walk closer to them, but as soon as Jace saw him he gave him a sign so he would walk away. Aegon looked - and was - offended by this gesture; then why the fuck he wanted him there? He asked himself, getting pissed and angry at everything at this point, longing to be in the comforts of his bed.

Eventually, his legs led him towards an empty spot on a coach, and he sat there - bored and desperately wanting to escape. If he'd had ten golden dragons, he would've called an Uber the minute you left him alone in this jungle, but his pockets were empty, and he was too lazy to even think about walking back home. So, he stayed there, with his head leaning back against the couch and staring at a white spot in the tall ceilings.

He didn't know how much time passed before you returned by his side.

“Aeg, have you seen Baela?” Hearing your voice was enough to interrupt his blank thoughts. He lifted his face and saw you standing there; your lipstick was ruined and smeared all over your mouth - he clenched his jaw. It was obvious that you had a quite steamy make-out session with that random guy from before. “I only found Aemond talking to a girl, but he didn't know where she was.”

“She was with Jace the last time I saw her,” he replied before awkwardly pointing at your face. “Uh….your lipstick is…”

Your eyes widened with embarrassment while a heat ran to your cheeks. A shy smile appeared on your face as you looked away from him - your fingertips went to the corner of your lips, trying to fix the mess even though it was a bit hard to know if it was working when you didn't have a mirror with you.

“I met a guy,” you told him, slightly excited.

“I could tell,” he nodded. There was a small silence before he continued. “I thought you weren't into that.”

“Into what?”

“One night stands.”

You chuckled, nervously. “Aegon, I'm just having some fun-”

“That's fine,” he cut you off, getting up from the couch and standing right in front of you. “Just remember to use a condom.”

“Oh, no, Aeg. I won't-”

“I don't care,” he stopped you again - not wanting to hear more about the topic. But then, he stopped for a second, looking down at your lips a bit longer than he should have, and you suddenly felt exposed to him. He licked his lips before he pressed them in a thin line, and he mumbled, “You made a bigger mess there, you dumbass.”

Unexpectedly, he raised his hands and placed them at each side of your face, holding you still. You felt how your heart skipped a beat when his calloused hands touched your skin, sending shivers down your spine. Your lips parted as he leaned forward and started to boldly touch the corners of your mouth with his fingertips, wiping any trace of lipstick that was out of place. You found yourself unable to look away from his furrowed eyebrows as he was too concentrated on what he was doing. You blinked a few times, taken aback by his gesture - so odd and weird coming from him.

The darkness of the room was briefly interrupted by colourful circles that danced around the room - for that same reason he leaned even closer to have a better look, and for a second - a brief moment - you thought he would kiss you. Inevitably, you thought about what Baela had said to you and, perhaps, you believed it.

What. the. fuck.

That small interaction lasted just a few seconds. Just that. Yet, his touch lingered in your skin even when he'd taken a step away from you. Aegon looked unaffected by everything - as if he hadn't just provoked an earthquake inside your mind; the look on his face was the usual one: uninterested and bored. Then, with his raspy voice, he muttered: “Shit, I gotta take a piss.” And he just left you there.

You watched him leave as you remained standing still, bewildered by what had just happened and questioning what was all about. Did he feel the same weird thing you felt? Did he even know the effect he had on you? Why would you even react that way in the first place? Aegon was just your friend, and you were certain that he saw you —barely— as a friend too; especially after he just walked away as if nothing happened at all. But of course, you didn't see the panic on his face as he cursed himself over and over again - asking why the hell would he do such a foolish thing. He suddenly felt overwhelmed, still feeling the softness of your skin itching in his fingertips and desperately wanting to get rid of it - he would scratch them against the fake straw of his costume, but it would not disappear. Aegon was overthinking - punishing himself for doing a stupid thing like that.

What was he even thinking? He would do that kind of thing with the girls he wanted to fuck, not with you.

The bathroom, of course, was a very obvious excuse to run away from that mortifying moment that would probably haunt him forever, but he now felt the urge to wash his face and slap his cheek to properly function again. What a fucking idiot, he thought of himself.

People were queuing for the bathroom. Three guys were standing before him as he leaned against the wall, softly hitting his forehead with it. He felt the need to drink another shot of tequila to cope, and suddenly the idea of walking back home did not sound too far-fetched. It was rather tempting, actually.

When the line moved forward, Aegon finally looked in front of him. A familiar guy was standing before him, tall and bulky, speaking on the phone with someone. He was smiling - laughing even, and Aegon couldn't figure out where he'd seen him before. Noisy as always, he paid attention to the conversation - maybe that would make him forget all about the awkward situation from before.

“... It's been a bit boring, honestly,” Aegon heard, sneakily looking at him. “I would've rather stayed at home with you, but you know how insistent Marcus is.”

Aegon narrowed his lilac eyes, paying more attention to his features… and that's when it snapped. His mouth dropped open, and he immediately looked away; this was the bastard that ruined your lipstick, and he got a fucking girlfriend.

“Yeah, I miss you too, baby. I'll be home soon, okay?... Love you too. Bye.”

The guy hung up the phone and as he removed it from his ear, Aegon was able to see his lock screen; two people kissing - confirming that he, in fact, was not available at all. The worst thing about it all is that you didn't know anything about it.

Usually, Aegon would ignore something like this, playing dumb and just letting it go. But this time it was different, for he felt the urge to run to your side and tell you - he knew he had to. It was as if some protective side of him had come out to the light, and all because of you. Aegon cared about you, but instead of admitting such an embarrassing thing, he excused it by saying to himself that he was doing it just so you would go back home and take him with you; so he left the line and went back to find you once again.

The people seemed to have multiplied themselves in those five minutes that he spent queuing for the bathroom, and it was even more impossible now to find you there. He pushed people around trying to get to you, but you were nowhere to be found. Luckily for him, he found Baela and Jace again, now they were next to the bar and looking a bit tipsy; Baela was getting handsy, but Aegon had no shame in interrupting their moment.

“Have you guys seen y/n?” He asked once he reached their side. He could hear Jace grunting on the low - he didn't care.

“I thought she was with you,” Baela replied.

“No, she was with some random guy making out, and-”

“Then why are you looking for her?” She asked, arching one of her eyebrows, suspiciously staring at him.

“Because the guy has a fucking girlfriend,” Aegon explained. “I heard him talking on the phone when I was in the line for the bathroom. She needs to know.”

“Wait,” Jace said, suddenly interrupting the conversation. “You walked through the crowd only to look for her?”

“Yes.”

“Only to tell her that the guy she's making out with is dating someone?”

Aegon scoffed. “That's exactly what I just said,” he replied, annoyed. “Aren't you even listening?”

“Are you feeling well?” Jace asked as he attempted to touch his forehead. Aegon slapped his hand.

“Don't fucking touch me,” he grunted.

“We haven't seen her since we arrived,” Baela said, “Aemond is also missing, we have no idea where he is.”

“Fuck,” Aegon sighed. “Thank you for nothing.”

He turned around to keep on his search, but Baela stopped him.

“Aegon!” She yelled his name, and he looked at her over his shoulder. “We're gonna look for her as well, let us know if you find her first.”

He nodded, drifting away from them and following a group of people that was going towards the backyard. Standing right next to the exit, he quickly scanned the scenery, looking at the floor and trying to find your sparkling, red shoes without success. He was starting to lose his patience.

That's when Aemond suddenly appeared by his side, placing his arm around his shoulders and pulling him closer to him. Aegon tried to push him away, but only then did he notice that his little brother was drunk. Well, well, what a surprise, he thought - he would have enjoyed this if it wasn't for his eagerness to find you.

“My big brother,” Aemond said, dragging his words. “There you are…”

“Have you seen y/n?” He asked him, even when he knew he wasn't going to give him a proper answer. He had to try.

“Oh, I won't tell,” the youngest said while giggling. “We have a deal, we made a pact- you can't fuck her.”

Aegon pushed him away, this time successfully. He tried so hard to ignore the heat on his cheeks. What was wrong with him?

“I won't- I won't fuck her, you stupid ass,” he mumbled. “I'm trying to find her and I don't know where she-”

“Aegon, I'm sorry,” he suddenly interrupted, his tone quickly changing to melancholic. “Sometimes I'm a bit bitter with you, but that doesn't mean I don't love you, you know?”

“What the-”

“At the end of the day it's just us,” he sighed, shrugging. “Helaena and Daeron have always been a group apart from us, but we? We are always gonna have each other, am I right?”

“What fuck were you drinking?”

“Sometimes I wish you were my boss instead of Nyra…” Aegon's demeanour immediately changed with those words, tensing his body and clenching his jaw. “But you know… that grandpa shit happened and-”

“Aegon!”

Baela's voice stopped Aemond from continuing with his ranting, and Aegon's attention immediately went towards her. She was inside the house, waving her hand at him - asking him to come closer. He grabbed his brother's arm and took him with him towards the inside, and once he reached Baela's side, he saw you there; kissing that guy in a corner, his hands grabbing your waist as your arms were around his shoulders. Aegon felt an inexplicable rage running through his veins - which gave him the courage to do the next thing.

“Hey!” he yelled, a bit too loud - calling the attention of everyone around. “Hey, stay away from her!”

You heard his voice on top of the music and immediately pulled away from the kiss. He was getting closer to you and you widened your eyes in surprise. He didn't think twice before he pulled your wrist towards him until you were standing by his side.

“Aegon? What- what are you doing?” you asked, visibly confused.

“He's lying to you,” he told you without overthinking it. “He's lying!”

“What do you mean?”

“Hey, man,” the guy stepped in, angry. “Why don't you mind your fucking business and get the hell out?” he snapped at Aegon.

He barely listened to him, not paying attention to his tone or his words. He was looking at you - his puppy eyes begging you to hear what he had to say.

“Aeg, what's going on?” you asked again, your voice loud so he could hear you over the music.

“He has a girlfriend,” he quickly said, looking right into your eyes. “I heard him talking to her.”

The realization hit you like a truck, and suddenly you felt ashamed of yourself - even when it wasn't even your fault. The guilt started to eat you alive as you looked down at your shoes, avoiding any eye contact from Aegon. “Oh, gods…” you mumbled, covering your face with your hands.

Something came over Aegon when he saw you like that, feeling the urge to hug you - yet, he stayed there, without moving at all.

“Oh, come on, babe!” The guy said, getting closer to you and giving a bad look to Aegon. “Don't listen to him.”

Your shame quickly became rage when he uttered that pet name; who the fuck did he think he was? You turned to look at him, anger clearly displayed on your face.

“Don't call me that,” you spat at him and pushed him away when he tried to reach for your waist. “And stay away from me, you asshole!”

The music suddenly stopped, and every single person had their eyes on the argument - noisy people trying to hear and see inside the small circle that had formed around you. The tall man looked offended as if you had punched his ego when you rejected him. He scoffed and took a step closer to you.

“Oh, so now you're talking like that, huh?” he mockingly said. “Funny how a second ago you were almost acting like a-”

“Like what?” Aegon grunted, clenching his fist as he stepped between you and him. He was taller than Aegon, yet he didn't show himself intimidated by it. “Go on… say it,” he dared him.

The guy tsked his tongue, smirking maliciously - as if he knew he would cause trouble if he dared to utter those words. Still, with all the people staring at him expectantly, he decided to open his mouth.

“Like a slut.”

You heard how your friend scoffed at your side. Then, you heard the people around you gasping and squealing when they saw how Aegon threw a perfect punch right in the middle of his face. He lost his balance, covering his nose with his hand as he looked absolutely shocked - he certainly didn't expect that. The blood didn't take much time to start to come out, and his Michael Myers costume was soon stained with crimson drops.

“Fucking shit!” Aegon exclaimed, feeling the pain burning in his knuckles.

The guy - whose name you didn't remember at this point, stood straight in his spot, still stumbling around as he threw himself in Aegon's direction; he managed to get out of the way before his fist could hit him, yet a scream and soft stump was heard on your back. Once you turned around, you saw Jace lying on the floor with his nose bleeding and Baela covering her mouth.

“Ah, fuck…” Aegon groaned. “Nyra’s gonna kill me.”

Aemond groaned as he laid his head on your shoulder, the alcohol had slowly been fading away from his body, and he was already feeling the symptoms of a painful hungover as you all were waiting in the ER for Jace.

“Stop whining,” Aegon complained, pressing a cold can of Pepsi on his hand to relieve the swelling. “You drank two bottles of beer, how could you get that drunk?”

“Every single word that comes from your mouth feels like a needle being buried in my brain,” he groaned.

“Alright,” Baela interrupted the conversation. “Let's go, Aemond.”

“Where?”

“I'm gonna buy you a Gatorade or something like that, you need to be hydrated,” she explained. “Come on.”

Aemond groaned when he was forced to stand up, slowly moving until he was on his feet again. Baela patted his back a few times before they started to walk away - and when they turned around the corner, it was only you and Aegon there. He was absentmindedly staring at the soda can pressing against his hand while you glanced at him and involuntarily smiled.

What he did that night was one of the sweetest things someone has ever done for you - something that not even Jason did during all the time you were dating. Aegon didn't even doubt for a second before punching that guy after he insulted you, and for some reason, that would draw a silly smile on your face.

“Thank you for tonight,” you interrupted the silence, shyly speaking to him.

He lifted his head, looking at you. “Why?”

“You had my back, Aegon. What you did was- If it wasn't for you I would've probably ended up in bed with that guy,” you confessed.

Aegon felt something being twisted in his stomach.

“Well, it was the right thing to do, right?”

You nod, “it is, yes…”

“Are you okay?” he asked after a few seconds of silence.

“Yeah, I am,” you assured him. “He was some random guy, I don't even remember his name at this point.”

“I know, but- you know… he's a cheater and I thought this situation would remind you to- uh…”

“Jason?” you finished the sentence for him, and he nodded. “Well, it kinda did - but I'm fine, Jason happened like ages ago. Though I can't help but think about his girlfriend, she doesn't deserve something like that.”

“Yeah…”

“Have you ever… been cheated on?” you dared to ask.

“Nah,” he shook his head. “I don't think I've ever been in a serious relationship before.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“I don't believe you.”

“Why?”

“Because you're not ugly, and you have a personality that girls in college would fawn over.”

“Oh, shut up,” he mumbled, slightly flustered.

“I mean it!”

“Well, besides a few flings, weird situationships and a few friends with benefits, I've never been in a relationship. It's just not my style.”

The door that separated the waiting room from the ER opened, and a young doctor appeared. He was tall, brown-haired and had visible dark circles around his grey, tired eyes, yet he still looked handsome. You looked at him at the same time he laid his eyes on you, and you felt butterflies in your belly, already knowing you developed a small crush on him. Not again, you thought.

“Family of Jacaerys Strong?” He said, getting closer to you and Aegon, being the only ones there.

“Come on,” you urged Aegon to get up.

“Why do I have to go?”

“Because you're his uncle, now stand up!”

He reluctantly got on his feet, standing behind you until the doctor reached your side.

“Are you Jacaerys' family?” He asked, sneakily glancing at you.

“Uh, yes… he's his uncle,” you replied, pointing at Aegon.

“And you?”

“Me? Oh, I'm- I'm his sister,” you said, trying to sound convincing but failing miserably.

The intern - whose name tag read Cregan Stark - looked up and down at you, not believing your words at all. However, he just smiled and played along with your little white lie.

“Alright, so…” he opened the file that was between his hands and sighed. “Jacaerys had a small concussion, we took a CT scan and everything else seems to be in order. His nose is not broken, but it's bruised and swollen, so we gave him some soft painkillers to relieve the pain.”

“When can we take him home?” you asked.

“In a few hours, just until the medication makes its effect and we are sure there are no further complications,” he explained. Then, he glanced at Aegon's hand, frowning. “Do you want me to take a look at that?”

“Nah, it's fine,” he answered. “I don't want to be charged like five thousand golden dragons just to know that my hand is swollen.”

“Alright,” Doctor Stark replied, unfazed by Aegon's rudeness.

“I'm sorry,” you apologized on his behalf - he rolled his eyes. “We had a long night.”

“It's okay,” he assured you, smiling at you. Damn, he was cute. “If there are not any more questions then I shall leave you for now.”

“Of course, thank you,” you said.

He replied with a small gesture before returning to where he came from, crossing the doors and disappearing from your eyesight. You sighed, thinking he was so dreamy.

“What an idiot,” you heard Aegon murmur before he sat back on the chair, interrupting your thoughts.

“He was nice.”

“Of course you thought that. He was flirting with you!” His tone almost sounded offended.

“No, he wasn't!”

“What happened?” Baela suddenly appears back at your side. Aemond was right next to her, drinking from his bottle of cool blue Gatorade and looking better than when he left.

“Jace's doctor was flirting with her,” Aegon quickly replied.

“He wasn't flirting with me!”

“Of course he was!”

“And why do you look so mad about it?” Baela teased him. “Are you jealous or something?”

Aegon frowned, stopping for a second before snapping at her. “Shut up, Bella, this is not your business.”

“Stop screaming, we're in a hospital,” Aemond muttered, scolding all of you as he sat back down. “Why can you all behave like adults?”

Everyone sat down in silence after that, minding their own business as the minutes passed boringly slowly. Your head was lying on Baela's shoulder as she watched the news report from the TV hanging on one of the walls. Aemond was half asleep in his seat while Aegon would walk from one side to another, unable to remain in the same place for more than five minutes. The waiting was strenuous, especially when it was almost 3 am and everyone was too tired to keep their eyes open.

But then, after waiting for almost two hours, Jacaerys opened the door - being followed by the handsome intern that made you sigh. Baela's mouth dropped.

“Oh, gods, is that the flirty doctor?” Baela asked, impressed.

“He's not that handsome,” Aegon grunted in a low voice.

“Yes, he is,” she replied with a smirk.

Jacaerys waved his hands in the air as a greeting, slightly sleeping for the medication. His nose was covered with a big, white patch, and there were two dark, violet stains under his eyes. He hissed when he smiled at Baela.

“Gods, you look awful,” Aegon chuckled.

“This is your fault, Aegon!” he replied a bit loudly.

“Alright, you need to remain calm and not strain yourself, a punch on the nose is a serious thing, so you'll have to rest once you get home,” The doctor indicated. “Here is the medical care to follow, and in case you bleed or have chronic pain you need to come back to the hospital immediately.”

“Will do, my man,” Jace replied, patting the doctor's back before he went towards Baela.

“Come here, Prince Jacaerys, we'll take you home now,” Your best friend told him, holding him firmly while walking towards the exit. Aegon and Aemond followed them too.

“Thank you for saving my friend's life…” you playfully said. “Doctor Stark,” you uttered his name as you read the tag hanging from his scrubs.

“I thought he was your brother,” he answered back with a charming smile.

“Oh… busted,” you admitted before chuckling. “Well, I guess I got to go now, so thank you once again, and-”

“Is the scarecrow your boyfriend?” he asked out of the blue, taking you by surprise.

“Uh- no. No, he's a friend,” you nervously replied.

“Good.”

“Good?”

“So he won't be mad if I give you my number?”

Oh gods.

“No,” you shook your head. “Not at all.”

“Great,” he murmured as he took a pencil from his pocket and some Post-it notes he had with him. “So I'm going to secretly write my number on this little piece of paper, and you'll have to pretend is the name of a medicine so I don't get fired by my super strict supervisor for doing this.”

He finished writing on it and folded it in half before giving it to you.

“Breaking the rules, huh?” you teased him.

“Only for a pretty girl like you.”

“That's cheesy.”

“But did it work?”

You tried to suppress your smile. “It might have.”

“I have to go back now,” he announced. “But I'll be waiting for your call.”

He smiled at you - saying goodbye, and you waved your hand at him before you turned around and walked towards your friends, who were waiting for you right outside of the waiting room. Baela was smiling - she watched all from behind the door glass, proud of you. A different gesture than the one Aegon had on his face, almost looking annoyed by it.

“Are you gonna call him?” Baela asked you once you joined them in the walk towards the parking lot.

“I don't know…”

“I honestly didn't like him very much,” Aegon commented. Baela lifted one of his eyebrows at him.

“You didn't even speak to him,” you said between chuckles, not taking him seriously.

He shrugged, “still.”

You rolled your eyes with a smile on your face as you continued to walk with Baela - Aegon staying a few meters behind, standing in the middle of the hallway with his heart beating faster. That smile you gave him before you left remained printed on his mind, and once he got to hear you laugh in the distance, his eyes widened with the realization.

His sudden rage, the feeling in his gut when he saw you kissing that guy at the party, the urge to look for you all the time, how offended he felt when that intern was flirting with you - it all had one reason behind.

“Oh, shit,” he mumbled as chills ran down his body.

He had a crush on you.

BOLD MEANS I COULDN'T TAG YOU.

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cait-with-luv · 1 year

Text

Little Leopard [6]

"If it weren't for seven men that fateful night you wouldn't be here now. They showed you good people did exist. That life can be great, that you can be loved and cared for. These seven men were the men you loved and cherished. These men were your mates. Your safety blanket. And to them. You were their Little Leopard."

Header Credit: Me

Pairing: OT7 X Hybrid!Reader

Genre: Hybrid! AU, Strangers to Lovers! AU, Rich!BTS, Fluff, Angst, eventual smut, Polyamorous!BTS

Warnings: Angst, discussions of weight, discussions of eating disorders, dissociation, mentions of past mental abuse, mentions of past physical abuse, mentions of sexual abuse, discussions of trauma, anxiety, depression, explicit language, self-doubt, fear of rejection

Word Count: 3.5K

A/N: I'm sorry if this is so scruffy I tried my best since I've just got back to full health so the next update will be better! ITALICS MEANS IT'S A FLASHBACK!

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The boys felt lost. It was like they were taking one step forward and one step back with you ever since your hospital appointment a few weeks ago. You had gone back to barely speaking. Only nodding and shaking your head. Murmuring your words. Barely coming out of your room. They were worried. Guilty. Guilty because they felt like they had pushed you too far. You were healing after so much trauma, pain and they reopened those healing wounds. They desperately wanted to help you. Get you back on track to recovery and finding happiness but they didn’t know how. They didn’t know where to start.

However this wasn’t the case. You had not shut yourself out because of the appointment. Because you were suffering from reliving trauma. No, it was because of them. You were not mad at them. You were not disappointed in them. You were purely nervous. Nervous because everytime you looked at them your heart raced. Everytime you tried to talk your words got caught in your throat. THEY made you nervous. Butterflies in your stomach. And it all started because of your realization. They were your mates. They were fated to you. They found you that night because they were meant to.

It terrified you. You had never felt this ever. It was all so new to you. This feeling of adoration, euphoria, love. It was all so overwhelming and terrifying that you didn’t know how to comprehend it. You weren’t ready to accept that you had mates. You were so desperately trying to shut it out but it was proving to be difficult when your leopard is pawing at you consistently to nest with them again, scent them. Mate them. Sheer pain crawling in your body when they come home smelling like another Hybrid. You couldn’t accept it because you were terrified to be rejected. You weren’t good enough for them, not perfect enough. You came with too much baggage. The humiliation you’d feel if they rejected you. The gut-wrenching pain you’d feel. You couldn’t take anymore pain.

You knew you couldn’t shut yourself away forever. That you had to conjure up the courage to talk to them, be around them but it was difficult when your every instinct is to nurture them, claim them.

Your deep thoughts are cut off from a knock on the your bedroom door, you mumble a ‘come in’ and a hesitant Taehyung peers in and pouts seeing you curled up in a nest you had recently built for yourself, the only thing providing you comfort right now but seeing Taehyung makes you ball your fists up to fight the urge to pull him into it. You couldn’t indulge anymore, because now you crave it all the time since the first time you nested with him and Jungkook.

“Hey, Pretty girl, Seokjinnie has made some lunch, want to come eat with us? You didn’t have any breakfast.” He says softly, frowning as you shake your head and snuggle more into your nest.

“I-I’m not hungry. Maybe later?” You mutter quietly, avoiding eye contact. You could see the concern in his face but you just had no appetite, you couldn’t stomach anything right now.

“But Y/N, you haven’t eaten properly in a while…” He trails off, hoping that you’d cave and finally eat but you were stubborn. You couldn’t and wouldn’t. You didn’t have the energy to face them.

“I’m just not hungry right now Taehyungie. I’ll eat later. I promise.” You reassure, before closing your eyes and pretending to go to sleep. You couldn’t look at him otherwise you’d cave.

“Okay, one of us will check on you in a bit, please try to eat later. Please talk to us, we’re here for you.” Taehyung sighs before leaving and making his way downstairs, watching the six hopeful boys' faces fall when they see no sign of you.

“Nothing?” Jungkook pouts as Taehyung shakes his head. They just wanted to see you healing again, smiling and interacting with them.

“Nothing. She won’t eat. She said she’s not hungry again, she wouldn’t look at me. What do we do?” Taehyung whines in frustration, sitting down next to Jimin who gives him a small smile.

“I’m getting worried, she’s starving herself, we can’t let her continue like this. She’s going to get sick, we need to do something, we can’t keep walking on eggshells around her, it’s not going to achieve anything.” Jimin huffs and shakes his head. They needed to make better efforts, because right now, he felt like they were all doing the bare minimum.

“We can’t force her to eat, we can’t force her to do anything. We’d just be doing what all the others were doing but we need to sit her down, remind her that she’s not alone, that she doesn’t need to bottle it all up.” Namjoon advises, they all hum in agreement except for Jungkook. He shakes his head, gaining their attention.

“I don’t think it’s the hospital appointment that’s doing this to her. I think…I think it’s the fact we’re her mates. I think she knows but is scared. Have you guys not noticed how anxious and nervous she gets around us recently? How much more she’s nesting and scenting blankets?” He begins, looking around watching as they all come to a realization.

“That does make sense but how do you know she knows?” Seokjin replies with a frown.

“Well…”

—

“Is she oka-Oh shit.”

Hoseok stares in shock at the sight in front of him. Two of his boyfriends, nesting with you, your small figure, snuggled up between them, the peaceful look of sleep and safety on your face. He knew what this meant. He was familiar with what nesting meant to a hybrid, having been told by his colleagues with mates. Things had just got more complicated.

“Shh don’t wake her. She’s dissociated, she’s distraught, we know what this means, we made the nest for her to help but she invited us in. We couldn’t say no.” Jungkook whispers, looking down to make sure you hadn’t been disturbed. In all honesty, he wasn’t opposed to being your mate. One of seven mates.

“We need to talk. Now.” Hoseok says quietly, shuffling in his spot. Everything was coming together now. Why they felt so much care for you. The need to protect you and spoil you. They all had assumed it was because of your circumstances but how wrong they were.

They may be human but they felt it too. The pull towards you. The attraction.

“Tae, you go, I’ll stay with her, don’t wanna leave her by herself in case she wakes up.” Jungkook sighs, stroking your hair, a small smile falling onto his lips as you subconsciously lean into his touch, a loud rumble of a happy purr leaving your mouth.

Taehyung hesitates before nodding and placing a chaste kiss to your temple and then a quick peck to Jungkook’s head before carefully leaving the nest, his chest filled with anxiety and guilt from doing so.

“Mate…n-no…back…” You whimper in your sleep, anxiously moving about, already feeling Taehyung’s disappearance, your fists clenching Jungkook’s shirt tighter and tighter, fearful to lose him too.

“Shh, it’s okay, I’m here, I’ve got you…your mate is right here, Baby.” He comforts, keeping you tight in his hold, nosing at the crown of your head to relax you. He wouldn’t want anyone else to be a mate too. He will make sure to be the perfect one for you and he knew the others would too. You were the missing piece they were missing. You fit in just like a jigsaw piece.

“We’re her mates.” Taehyung blurts out suddenly once they had all sat down, their eyes widening in shock. Out of all the things they thought they were going to be told, this wasn’t at all what they were expecting.

“W-What? How do you know?” Jimin breathes out in surprise, his heart racing from nerves.

“She nested with me and Kookie. She’s still nesting with him now, she scented him too. She looked pretty upset too when she realized we all weren’t there. She wanted us all in the nest.” Taehyung explained, running a hand through his hair.

“Come to think of it, she looked like she was going to tear Dr. Yoon’s head off when she hugged us. It probably didn’t help that she's a lion hybrid too but it makes sense. It’s kinda like a territorial thing.” Yoongi murmurs leaning back into the couch, arms crossed as he thought deeply.

“Well what do we do? We can’t pretend that we don’t know about it. It’ll just be makingher suffer. I don’t know about you guys but I care a lot about her. I really do think I’d be lost without her.” Hoseok says confidently, the boys humming in acknowledgement.

“She does feel like what we’ve been missing this whole time and I know there’s plenty of room for her in this relationship.” Seokjin agrees with Hoseok a smile toying at his lips, he could picture all the loving memories you could create. Waking up together with them in the mornings, dates, cooking together, intimate moments, all the laughs, smiles, compliments. He wanted that with you. They all did. You were the missing brick in the home they had built. The cement that held it together. They just hadn’t realized it until now.

“I don’t think we should tell her we know…she’ll come to us when she’s ready to tell us no matter how painstakingly slow it may be we got to be patient. We don’t want to scare her off. Let her initiate it. Let her be in control of this. She’s never gotten that choice so we have to give that to her. Maybe little courting gifts here and there for her, not to hint that we know but hint to her that we care for her and if she wants to want to build a relationship with her.” Namjoon says with authority in his voice. He didn’t want to screw up any chance they had with you. It wasn’t like how they started dating. You’re a hybrid and courting is a big thing for mates. They couldn’t rush this. It had to be at a steady pace, it had to be perfect.

“But what if she doesn’t come to us about it Joonie? She’s never had this much control in her life, she won’t know how to do this. I don’t want to control her at all but what if we just give her a nudge into the right direction?” Jimin whines. He knew Namjoon was right but his patience was the worst out of them all, he knew he’d get too antsy.

“We may have to but right now we wait and see baby. Only time will tell.”

—

It had gone past midnight when you left your room, unfortunately your anxiety riddled mind had kept you awake, the thoughts of losing the boys, not being good enough for them plagued you. But also your fears of going back to your previous owner. Having to endure the mental and physical abuse day in and day out. The pure torment. You couldn’t go back to it. Especially not after seeing what life truly can be like. You just couldn’t do it.

You had to speak to them, go back to your healing, you couldn’t lose them, push them away.

You hesitantly tip-toe towards a room. Jungkook’s room. Despite being in a seven person relationship, sometimes they liked to have their own space or take turns sharing the master bedroom bed.

You stand in front of his room, contemplating whether or not if you should knock. You didn’t want to disturb him, you were about to turn around and go back to your room but if it was Jungkook had a 6th sense and knew you were there, his door suddenly opening, a yawning Jungkook stood there, a look of surprise when he realized it was you at the door not one of the boys like he thought it to have been.

“Y/N? Hey, Sweet girl, are you okay? Is something the matter?”He asks softly, almost cooing at your sweater paws and doe eyes staring at him nervously. You shuffle in your spot, toying with your hands as you murmur shyly,

“I-I can’t sleep…didn’t know what to do. D-Did I disturb you? I-I’m sorry I’ll go.”

Jungkook quickly shakes his head and holds his hand out for you to take, he didn’t want to startle you and grab your hand, he reminds himself of what Namjoon had said. ‘Let her be in control’.

You slowly place your hand in his and you almost purr from glee from the feeling, you hadn’t touched them or let them touch you since you nested with them.

“You have nothing to be sorry for baby, do you wanna come in? Maybe trying sleeping in here so you aren’t by yourself? I can sleep on the floor if that will make you more comfortable?” He asks, slowly guiding you into his room, his breath hitching as you whisper,

“A-Actually…c-could you nest with me instead? I-I think that’ll help…”

He could have screamed with joy at your proposition. You were starting to take initiation, no matter how small it may be, it was a start and it excited him.

“Of course, do you need anything to build your nest? Help yourself to whatever you want baby.” He smiles standing aside to let you do what you needed to do. And so you began, grabbing any item that smelt of the boys, shirts, blankets, hoodies, you grabbed them all and carefully built your nest. You wanted it to be perfected, it needed to be. The urge inside you wanting to impress your mate but you had no idea that no matter what you did, Jungkook would always be impressed.

“In.” Was all you said once you had finished, patting the place beside you in the middle of the nest. A teasing smile appears on Jungkook’s face, playfully crossing his arms and pretending to think.

“In? You want me to get in? I don’t know…” He teases making you huff and pout at him, glaring.

“Kookie…” You whine in frustration making him laugh and shaking his head. You were just to cute to not tease.

“Okay, okay, I’m coming in now.” He coos, and carefully lays in your nest, allowing you to move him to where you wanted, a content smile on his face as you curl up into the side of him, purring and chuffing. You really were just a cat.

“Thank you Jungkook, for this…for all of you putting up with me.” You say quietly, closing your eyes in attempt to try and fall asleep. But it still felt like something was missing, like you need something more to fall asleep.

“We’re putting up with nothing Little one, we’re here because we want to be, because care for you and want to help you in anyway we can alright?” He yawns, playing with your hair and pouting noticing your fidgeting.

“Still can’t get comfortable to sleep Sweet girl? Is something playing on your mind?” He asks softly, tilting his head as you nod and sit up to look at him.

“Feels like something is missing…” You practically cry out.

Jungkook thinks before a thought pops into his head, sitting up with you and hesitantly asking,

“Do you reckon it’s the rest of the boys that’s missing baby? Is that what it is?”

You nod slowly as you realize that yes, it was what was missing, what you needed. You need all seven of them in your nest, all your mates but it felt too selfish to do. You had already disturbed Jungkook, you couldn’t wake the rest.

“B-But I don’t wanna wake them. That’d be unfair.” You pout before going to lay back down.

“It’s okay, don’t worry we’ll find another way to help make you sleep…why don’t we read? We’ll go sit downstairs and I’ll start teaching you, how does that sound?” He proposes and a smile appears on your face as you nod. You liked the sound of that.

—

Namjoon sighs as he sits down on the couch, the house is filled with silence as everyone sleeps, the only sound is the clock ticking away. It was late. Just past one in the morning and Namjoon couldn't sleep. Tossing and turning all night, his stress taking a toll on him.

Whilst Hoseok was embarking on his investigation of your abusers, Namjoon had started his own. He was determined to find who this inside person was, doing the cover-up on your documentation and who knows how many more Hybrids and was proving to be challenging. So far he couldn't find a single thing. Not a single speck of dirt on any of his employees, he was close to hitting a dead end but he refused to give up, hoping that eventually, he'll find something.

Anything, even if it was the tiniest bit of evidence. He couldn't let these Hybrids down. He couldn't let you down. He prided himself in protecting and providing for Hybrids in need and built his whole career on it. His whole business. But right now he felt like he was failing. He was angry, ashamed, and guilty that he allowed someone so dirty to work for him, allowed them to slip through the security checks he so thoroughly does but clearly not thorough enough.

Namjoon stares at the blank screen of the television, his head quickly turning as he hears a creak of the floor boards before relaxing when he sees the two pairs of doe eyes he's grown to adore so much staring back at his exhausted figure.

"Baby. Princess. What are you two doing up?" He asks quietly, tilting his head as he sees an alphabetical book tight in your grasp, his heart skipping a beat at the pouts on both of your faces. He swore your pout could challenge his youngest boyfriends.

"We could ask you the same Joonie. Little one here, couldn't sleep so she decided to nest with me in hopes it'd help but it didn't so we were going to sit down here so I could teach her how to read." Jungkook explains giving Namjoon a concerned smile.

"I couldn't sleep either Princess, it's okay it happens to us all sometimes. Come here, why don't both of us teach you hm?" Namjoon says tiredly, letting out a yawn and stretching.

"B-But you're tired. I don't want to be a burden to you. Y-You've been working a lot Namjoonie." You whisper shyly, shuffling in your place. Out of all the boys, Namjoon intimidated you the most. You weren't scared of him. You could never be with how caring he is but he just screamed alpha of the house to you with how much authority he held.

Namjoon all but smiles softly at you, shaking his head as he pats the spot on the couch beside him, inviting you both to join him as he says reassuringly,

"Nonsense. You could never be a burden Babygirl, now let's read this book shall we?"

You nod and both you and Jungkook sit down, you sandwiched in between them both as Namjoon takes the book and opens it, beginning to teach you each letter, even going as far as getting a notebook out so you could even practice writing.

“Is everything making sense so far Princess? Tell us if you need to go over something again okay?” Namjoon asks after a little while, smiling when he looks over to you when he gets no reply and finds that you had finally fallen asleep, pen almost slipping of your hand.

“She’s so cute.” Jungkook chuckles, taking the pen out of your hand and looking over to Namjoon as he bookmarks the book and closes it.

“She is. How come she couldn’t sleep?” Namjoon asks leaning back into the couch and carefully laying your head down on his lap as Jungkook places your feet on his.

“I think she’s starting to accept or come to terms that we’re her mates, she couldn’t sleep because all of us weren’t in the nest, she was so frustrated but she didn’t want to wake any of you up.” Jungkook smiles, rubbing up and down your calf. Namjoon chuckles and looks down at you, adoringly before he gets an idea.

“I have an idea, Jungkook wake the boys up, try and make a nest and a nest big enough for us all in the master bedroom, we’re going to do what she wanted, have us all in a nest, I think it’ll be a nice surprise for her in the morning when she wakes up.”

And so Jungkook did. He woke each of them up, explaining to them what was happening, bright smiles on all their faces as they worked together to build the nest, hearts fluttering as Namjoon carries you into the room and places you in the middle of them all, love filling the room as you all filled the nest, snuggled up together, content smiles on your faces as you all slept. Even Namjoon managed to fall asleep at last. Peaceful and happy.

Unaware of what was coming.

PERMANENT TAGLIST

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SERIES TAGLIST (CLOSED)

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#little leopard #bts #hoseok #namjoon #seokjin #yoongi #jimin #jungkook #taehyung #bts polyamory #bts poly #polyamorous bts #polyamory bts #poly bts #bts hybrid au #bts strangers to lovers au #hybrid bts #bts x hybrid reader #ot7 bts x reader

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arinbelle · 3 months

Text

Made (Nessian Mafia AU)

A/N: YES I KNOW IT’S BEEN TWO YEARS SINCE I UPDATED. I’M SORRY.

Enjoy as always! 😉

Part XIII

It is possible to be in love with you just because of who you are.” ― Maggie Stiefvater

~*~

Nesta hadn’t bothered to ask where they were when the plane had landed. The tropical island they were now on had been a hazy figure against the backdrop of a dark night as they came to it on a boat. All of it had been ready to go the minute they’d landed at the private airport, with multiple cars changing routes and a chartered yacht off whatever coast they’d arrived on.

The air was hot with a warm breeze but the lack of humidity had made it bearable to her. They were staying in a beautiful beach house with a deck and balconies overlooking the calm sea around them. If she didn’t know any better, she might have guessed it was the perfect sort of destination honeymooners came to. But this was not a honeymoon, nor any vacation, no matter how pretty the scenery was. Nesta found very little joy in the temporary refuge Cassian had brought her to.

She had tried her very best to tell him, thank you. Thank you for saving her from that abysmal marriage she’d been about to enter into. Thank you for always being there for her. Thank you for bringing her here, wherever here was.

In the end, Nesta had fallen into a dreamless sleep within moments of being brought to a bedroom.

It had only been a day later from when they’d arrived that Cassian had walked into the large master bedroom and silently handed her a burner phone. Nesta had been lounging around, not really doing anything since they had no Wi-Fi or cell service but the hurry in Cassian’s step and the harsh lines on his face had worried her.

She’d taken the phone from him with shaky hands while he watched her stoically.

Nesta had murmured a quiet hello, not expecting Elain on the other line.

“Nesta? Hi. It’s me.”

Nesta hadn’t responded, not knowing what else to say. Elain’s voice had shaken, and even though it wasn’t uncommon for Elain to waver, something about it had sent uneasiness reading through her.

Elain had cleared her throat, “It’s…mom. She passed away this morning. Dad’s in the ICU. It’s not looking good.”

The world had begun buzzing faintly around her and the phone had dropped from her hands, thunking noisily onto the hardwood floor. A strange high pitched noise had taken over all sound, and while Nesta could see Cassian pick up the phone and talk to the person on the other line, she couldn’t hear the conversation. Nor did she want to.

That had been a week ago.

Nesta didn't speak much after that and she knew Cassian was worried. Worried enough that he kept pestering her every few hours to eat, to come walk with him or to simply do something other than sit on their bed and stare blankly at the walls. But what the hell else was she supposed to do?

Her mother was dead. She got daily updates on her father’s condition and it wasn’t changing to anything good. Outside of her family, tension in the entire syndicate had come to its peak and war had broken out. Beron had declared war on Nolan for Nesta backing out of their agreement. They found out that Nolan, thanks to Cassian and Azriel’s spies, already had a plan ready to kill Nesta the minute he found her. There was a bounty put on hers and Cassian’s head and the only thing that was stopping it from spreading to her sisters was Rhysand’s quick thinking. He’d taken over as Capo in Cassian’s absence, and due to Cassian and their crew’s notorious reputation, Nolan held off on her sisters, who were now staying with Rhysand and Azriel. Nesta had worried about her father who was alone in the ICU but Rhysand had promised her he’d put multiple guards in the hospital corridors and on the floor to protect him.

Eris was nowhere in the public eye but again thanks to the many spies Azriel had sent out, they knew he was fine and had survived the massacre at their almost wedding. He was also just as upset at Nesta’s disappearing act, but unlike Beron, he hadn’t made as many public claims for slaughter and vengeance.

“Probably scared someone’s going to finish the job the second time around if he opens his mouth again,” Cassian had snickered on the phone a few days ago. Nesta had almost laughed at the image of a cowering Eris, once again on the run because he bit off more than he could chew. But then everything hit her all over again, and she quickly sobered up.

It wasn’t that she had been particularly close to her mother. At least, not in the traditional sense, since they were as dysfunctional as they came. But for the time Nesta’s mother had stuck around, Nesta had been the apple of her mother’s eye. She’d maintained every rule and every whim her mother threw at her, only to be let down by everything that happened when she ran away.

And it was a strange sort of grief, to feel such an absence, and cry not with longing for what was gone, but for what had never even been there. For what they could have been.

It was a week and a half into their pseudo-vacation when Nesta got the call that made her breathe slightly easier. Her father was awake and well on his way to recovering. They’d moved him out of the ICU and brought him to Rhysand’s home with a stay at home nurse and visiting doctor.

Her mother’s death was a cold, dull emptiness. If her father had passed too, Nesta knew it would open into a yawning fire, threatening to consume her completely with guilt. His last words to her had been apologetic, and the most heartfelt they’d ever had in years. Possibly ever. Perhaps it was fucked up that it was only near death that she felt worried about the strained relationship between her father and herself, but that was who she was. Bitter at times. Cruel too often. And easily hurtful as she was hurting.

Cassian it seemed was the only one who didn’t mind all her sharp edges.

When the phone call ended between her and Feyre, Cassian took the phone from her with one hand and pulled her upright with the other.

“Come with me,” he pulled her gently towards the master bath.

“I don’t want to shower right now. I might go for a walk,” she pulled back and away, knowing that this was Cassian’s attempt to get her to talk to him. And she would do no such thing. Just because her father would be okay didn’t mean she was ready to deal with all the shit that had happened in the past few weeks.

“A soak,” Cassian insisted, already reaching the massive tub and turning on the water. “Just a quick soak Nesta. Your father’s doing better, you can breathe a little.”

He looked back at her as the soap began foaming and a lovely, light scent that reminded her of Cassian’s aftershave, filled the room.

“Relax with me. Just for a little bit.” And then he held her in a stare that she couldn’t break away from, not after everything he’d done for her.

He’d watched over her for so long, especially since he’d brought her here, and it was only because of his brothers that her family was still alive. He’d helped her escape a horrible fate, and he’d been nothing but kind in all these weeks of monotonous silence from her.

She grumbled but started taking off her shirt, then her shorts and Cassian followed suit, walking into the tub and settling into it. She may have sneaked a peek at his backside and the rippling tattoos on his muscled back as he sat down. Just a peek.

They hadn’t touched like that ever since they’d gotten here, and while Nesta knew Cassian was doing it to be respectful, she mildly resented it. It would have been a welcome escape from the misery in her head. But she also knew Cassian would tell her that wasn’t a healthy coping mechanism.

The water was warm against her skin as she walked into the tub and slowly sunk down to sit. She’d opted for sitting across from Cassian as opposed to directly against him, just in case she lost control of herself and started leading them towards something more than just “relaxing.”

Cassian would stay the utter gentleman but Nesta couldn't guarantee she could do the same.

They sat like that for a few minutes and eventually Cassian slipped a hand underneath the bubbles to grasp one of her legs and massage her calves.

“I’m fine,” she insisted tightly as he rubbed a particularly sore spot.

“You’re stiff,” he grunted. “And you’re tense.”

“I wonder why,” she snapped, teeth bared at him only for a moment before she remembered he wasn’t the enemy here. Cassian only held her eyes for a little longer before returning back to his ministrations.

She almost apologized but even talking was too much of an effort.

“We need a plan. For how to return without getting killed.”

Agreed. She only nodded at him. She was all ears at this point because when she wasn’t grieving or cold with numbness, she was thinking about all the plays they had to go back home and stay alive. So far she’d counted ten different ways to go about it, with each one ending up with Nesta, Cassian or both of them dead. Usually their families also ended up on the wrong end of a weapon.

“We can deal with Tamlin’s crew after we deal with our inner house shit. If we try to pick a fight with them while we’re still fighting, we’re going to lose.”

Agreed again. She may have hated the idea of the truce, only because she had had to marry Eris, but the concept wasn’t bad at all. United on both the East Coast and the Midwest front meant more trading in between the two factions, more strength, and overall, more reason for other groups to not fuck with them. In this case, that would be the Irish.

Cassian had alternated to her other leg and she had almost sighed aloud in pleasure at how good his fingers had felt massaging the taut muscles of her hamstring. She closed her eyes and allowed herself a few moments of peace and quiet.

A secret, selfish part of her whispered that this was the solution. To stay here, under the radar, forever. To never leave. To stay hidden and safe and far away from the ruckus that was the Cosa Nostra and Outfit.

But then she remembered that it wasn’t just her or Cassian she needed to think about. Feyre, Elain, her father, Cassian’s brothers, and the countless innocents on both sides would bear the brunt of the conflict if they didn’t intervene soon and a war started.

Cassian’s voice called her name softly but she was far too comfortable now to move or speak, let alone open her eyes up. She only murmured to indicate she’d heard him.

“We need to get married.”

Nesta’s eyes snapped open.

“What?”

Cassian didn’t react as she pulled her leg from his grasp and straightened her back.

“Are you crazy?”

Cassian rolled his eyes, leveling her with a hard glare. “Obviously.”

“Don’t mock me, this is serious. That doesn’t solve anything. In fact, I’m pretty sure it makes it worse.”

“How? The only issue they have right now is the fact that you didn’t marry Eris and the alliance got fucked. We go back, married. You’re from the Outfit, I’m Cosa Nostra, it’s perfect.”

“No,” Nesta shook her head viciously. “It is not perfect. Nolan and I had a deal. I marry a son of the Vanserra family. Last I checked, you’re not that.”

Cassian waved a hand, splashing some water to the side of the tub. “Semantics. It’s a marriage that cultivates the alliance they want for a truce. It doesn’t really matter in the end who does it. It’s symbolic.”

Nesta opened her mouth to argue about the bigger problem she had.

“I talked to Rhys this morning. He’s sent money to Nolan and paid off your debts. With interest. And then some on top of that.”

Nesta shut her mouth. Opened it again. Then shut it as realization struck her.

“You played me,” she gasped.

Cassian grabbed her by the ankle underwater before she could leave the tub. He rolled his eyes as she tried to kick him with her free foot, only to slip further down in the tub and get splashed in the face with suds.

“Can you stop?”

“No! No I will not stop,” she seethed. “You were all, “relax with me Nesta. Just for a little bit, Nesta. We need a plan, Nesta.”’ She didn’t care how ridiculous she sounded mimicking him.

“You already had a plan ready to go this morning, you motherfu-.” He tightened his hold on her ankle, pulling her even closer, and cutting her off. She didn’t care. He’d snapped some invisible tether of restraint on her and she couldn’t hold back anymore.

“This was just making sure I followed through with the rest of it. Do you think I’m stupid Cassian? You think I’m some kind of fucking idiot? My mother is dead, my entire family is in shambles and you pull this shit on me? That’s so fucked up. And so you. You’re trying to manipulate me into marrying you. Well you can’t. I won’t do it.”

Nesta’s chest was heaving as she struggled to compose herself. She was livid. She didn't even know she was capable of being this angry with him.

“Are you done?,” he asked, exasperation written all over his face. Had it been anyone else, she knew he would have left the minute she’d started screaming at him. But Cassian had remained unfazed at her outburst. He probably found it funny if she knew him.

When Nesta didn’t respond Cassian nodded.

“Good. I’m glad you got it all off your chest.”

Asshole.

“Now, why don’t you want to get married? I just told you why it will work, and you know your debts have been squared away, so that contract with Nolan is useless to you now. You don’t have to follow it. This works out.”

It did work out. Really well actually. Too well. Well, fuck that.

“You know what else works out Cassian? We go back and murder everyone gunning for us right now. But why haven’t we done that yet? Let’s think about it.” She ignored the eye roll he gave her. “Because, it’s a stupid fucking idea!”

Cassian muttered,“So you weren’t done then?”

“Don’t mock me!”

“I’m not. Give me one good reason why we can’t get married.”

Almost spluttering, Nesta was grasping at straws when she made her final argument.

“People marry when they’re in love.” It sounded stupid just leaving her mouth but she said it anyway. Cassian did indeed laugh.

“Yeah, because you and Eris were just starstruck by each other.”

Nesta scoffed. “Don't be such a dick, you know what I mean. Outside of this life I mean. I can’t just marry you after running away from my last one. Marriage should be for love.”

“And I don’t love you?” He cocked his head at her.

Nesta froze.

Cassian let her.

They’d never gone there, here, and being caught unexpectedly in the thick of it wasn’t doing her any favors with winning her argument. Or dealing with what he’d just thrown on her. The awkward silence between them continued to stretch on. The way they were both bared to each other in such a painful, raw way made her want to scream.

Finally, she found her voice. “No.” Her voice was shook and she hated it. Hated everything. Even him in that moment.

“No, I don’t love you?”

She sighed. Tried again to speak. But it was too much. Too much too soon all at once. She wanted to scream. She wanted to cry.

When was the last time someone had said they loved her.

Seriously, truly loved her.

Loved…her.

“I’m not…” No she couldn’t. It was far too shameful to say it out loud. She closed her eyes as the muscles began stretching and pain spread under lids. She could feel the tears begin to build up even under the closed eyelid. Could taste the tears in the back of her throat as she held them in longer. She couldn’t do this.

“You’re not what, Nesta?”

So wrong. So, so wrong to admit this to him. To say it out loud and let him know just how wrong he was. The minute she did, he’d leave. He’d know she was right and he’d walk right out, and then where would that leave her?

Right where she’d been before they’d even met.

“Nesta you need to talk to me. I can’t read your mind. I mean, usually yes, but not right now. So help me out bella.”

Well, she knew how this was going to go anyways in the end, so there was no point in prolonging his departure any more.

“I’m not…” she blew out a breath. Tried again. Eyes tightly shut still because damn it she would not cry in front of him. “I’m not someone that’s loved. People don’t love me. And if you’re saying you do, you’re lying. And I know that it’s stupid because no one is probably ever going to do it, but I still want to be loved to be married to someone.”

It was horrible saying it out loud. Her greatest fear, her greatest shame. And yet, with her eyes still shut, and only a few tears having managed to leak out from her eyes, it wasn’t so bad. She’d bared herself at her lowest to him, but since she couldn’t see his face, it almost made it okay. She wouldn’t need to watch him nod in agreement, nor would she need to see him walk out and never look back.

“Nesta look at me.” She wouldn’t have. She hadn’t planned to. But something in his voice made her reconsider. The softness with which he pleaded with her made her re-evaluate her decision to shut him out.

The tears that had built up behind her eyes fell down her cheeks hastily as she opened up her eyes to a blurry world. She blinked the moisture away until a grave looking Cassian was staring back at her.

“Nesta, let me be very clear about this. Because I don’t want you getting this mixed up and I don’t want you thinking I’m lying.”

She waited for him to say his goodbyes.

“I love you, very much. I could not live a day without you if you were gone, and I can’t stand to breathe sometimes when you aren’t around me. I wanted you by my side from the first day I met you even though I barely knew you. And even then, it’s felt like I’ve always known you. I want to marry you, because you are the most amazing, beautiful, selfless, loving, and brave woman I’ve ever had the honor of meeting and knowing.”

She was shaking and Cassian reached out to steady her, enclosing her hands into his larger, stable ones.

“Not because of some stupid contract. Not because of this fucked up war. I want you for you. I want to marry you because I love you. And I am sorry I didn’t say it sooner and let you think you weren’t loved. Because you are bella. You are someone who is loved. You are very much so, loved and not just by me, by many people, and I am sorry for whatever or whoever made you think otherwise. But that’s not true, and if I have to spend the rest of my life convincing you of it, I will. It would be my honor to share that life with you, if you would have me.”

Nesta didn’t know what to say to that. She’d been stunned into silence yet again.

Nesta had never feared the men in her life growing up. Not for the reasons most women did. Sure they were capable of unspeakable violence. Unfathomable cruelty at times. Apathetic at the best of times, monsters at the worst of them.

But Nesta had become a monster too. From the moment Nolan had put a gun in her hand and she’d felt the recoil stampede through her bones, she’d known she’d never be anything less than the men she’d grown up around. No less fearsome, no less violent. But the only person, the only man, that Nesta had ever come to truly fear, was Cassian.

Cassian, who was all brash temper and bold spirit. Cassian who had seen through her willful pride and broiling anger, and uncovered her true self within minutes of their eyes slashing into each other. Cassian had terrified her because even after seeing it all, after she’d laid her truth and her past bare, he hadn’t run. He’d welcomed her and rejoiced in her with his own haunted musings. And with the admission, with the brutal honesty of who they were, Nesta had become afraid of what he had seen. What they could be. What she may become. A monster through and through, yes, but no longer alone.

Cassian who…loved her.

“Nesta?,” Cassian asked with a bit of panic in his eyes. “I know it’s not the best proposal in the world but I don’t know if silence is the rejection I want.”

That thawed her.

A wholehearted, unexpected laugh bubbled out of her before she could stop it, and Cassian nervously joined her after a moment.

She moved closer until both her and Cassian were almost nose to nose in the middle of the tub. She lifted a hand to his cheek, and Cassian pressed a kiss to the heart of her palm.

“You love me?,” she whispered.

“I do. I love you.”

So Nesta kissed him and Cassian kissed her back with so much fervor, she almost laughed again at his excitement.

And then she was crying, all over again, but this time, it was Cassian who wiped her tears away, just as he shed his own. She wiped his too, holding him tightly just as he held onto her.

“I love you, Cassian,” she whispered onto his lips before kissing him again. Gods but she had loved him for years. Years and never once had she told a soul, let alone Cassian himself. Pining so desperately after him, wanting and wishing for him to be hers just as he had been all along.

And even though the world had gone to shit around them, especially back home, and they didn’t know what would happen in the end, none of it mattered in that moment.

Not the fighting and the bloodshed, nor the war and the uncertainty of it all.

In that moment, Nesta’s world was perfect.

~*~

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wangxianficfinder · 6 months

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Fic Finder

March 15th

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1. Looking for a post 1st seige burial mounds fic on ao3. It was a wip but it's been awhile so may no longer be the case. In it jc only participated in the siege as a cover to get close enough to his brother w/out endangering lotus pier. Since he leads the charge he finds wwx first and when wwx passes out after destroying the seal jc fakes wwx's death and smuggle him back to lotus pier & hides/kinda imprison him. But the longer they're together the more jc realizes a lot of the things he blamed wwx for aren't adding up (seeing through Jin manipulations).

Jc also forgot/didn't know about ayuan so when wwx wakes up he freaks out about where his baby adopted son is, but by the time jc gets back to bm yuan is no where to be found (implied lz had already got him) but jc and wwx think this means yuan is dead. Wwx is very depressed and becomes Jin ling's secret nanny whenever the kid is at lotus pier. In the most recent updates (at the time) a baby xue yang was introduced.

He saw a disguised wwx in a hidden area by lotus pier playing in the water and is basically like 'I'm cute and small too' and plots how to get himself adopted so he can also be pampered like the wealthy kid. I think there were some alternating povs. Might of been a Lan pov too, creating dramatic irony since both yuan and wwx are alive but neither side knows? Was setting up yunmeng bro reconciliation.

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2. I'm looking for a specific fic, it was modern, WWX took LWJ to a concert of post modern, like synth? Chinese music and I think NHS told WWX about it?? It had some good song recs and I'm mainly looking for the the songs- if you guys could help me out? Thank you!!!! @recombinantdna

NOT FOUND! The Quiet Room by trickybonmot (M, 39k, WangXian, Modern AU, 1990s, Goth LWJ, Cellist LWJ, College Student WWX, House Hunting, Dating, Clubbing, San Francisco, Implied/Referenced Past Child Abuse, Mental Health Issues, Academic Disaster Aftermath, Getting Together, Repressed Teen Crushes to Strangers to Lovers, Homelessness, in the form of couch surfing, background NieLan) in which WWX finds LWJ being a DJ in a goth club in the 90s and it talks a lot about music. NHS is totally an enabler.

FOUND! show me a quiver, give me tonight by spookykingdomstarlight (E, 115k, wangxian, lwj/others, communication failure, mutual pining, artists, demisexual wwx, angst w/ happy ending) WY surprised LZ by bringing him to a performance of an artist LZ likes, H i d d e n f r a g r a n c e who plays electronic guqin. The sample songs can be found in the author notes in Chapter 10

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3. hi! im looking for a fic and the only thing i remember from it was wangxian (canon divergence, maybe arranged marriage but im not sure) in maybe caiyi?? sitting down at a noodle place, and there was a thing about how wwx loved the gusu dialect and kept pestering lwj to say something in the dialect, and he knew enough of the dialect to flirt or haggle so when lwj said an endearment term (i think it was something like sweetheart?) he froze and got all panicky about wwx recognising the word because he froze too, but then wwx just asks if he swore?? THANK YOU SO MUCH IF YOU FIND IT ive been combing my bookmarks and history for almost weeks now and im so close to thinking i made it all up

FOUND? Your Hand in Mine by cerbykerby (T, 20k, WangXian, Humor, Comedy, Pining, cursed to hold hands, Light Angst, Sharing a Bed, First Dates, Embarrassment, Fluff, bathing together, wwx is a menace to society, and lwj Suffers A Lot, Canon Compliant)

FOUND? Fentao-laoshi’s Guide to Cut-Sleeve Pleasures by occultings (microcomets) (E, 31k, wangxian, canon divergence, pining while fucking, friends with benefits, first time, cloud recesses study arc, practice kissing, sharing a bed, jealousy, getting together, confessions, happy ending)

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4. For fic finder: I have lost a modern-au fic where Lan Zhan is in the hospital, in a children’s wing, and Wei Wuxian visits a lot/volunteers there. Wei Wuxian has prosthetic legs and he gets a new red pair around the point I lost the fic. I am pretty sure I found the rec through this blog but I can’t find it again TT Help please!

FOUND? 🔒 some things go forward by everythingispoetry (T, 73k, WangXian, Modern AU, Hospitals, Teenage Drama, Slow Burn, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Happy Ending)

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5. First, thank you for everything that you do ! Your posts and recommendations and "I'm in the mood for" collections have kept my heart and soul busy for years now! I am honestly in awe of all the hard work and time you dedicate to both pages! 🥰

Unfortunately I don't remember much of the summary of the fic I'm searching for, but I wanted to try my luck. 🙈 It was a light modern dom/sub fic where WY accidentally sort of turned LZ into a sub. I think by giving him indirect orders all the time? And nobody noticed until WQ pointed it out? I searched through Ao3 with the light dom/sub tag for ages and then eventually gave up.

Maybe it rings a bell for you? 🙏🤞❤️ @papperlapapp1

FOUND? And They Were Roommates! or The Accidental Domming of Lan Wangji by DizziDreams (E, 21k, wangxian, Dom WWX, Sub LWJ, inexperienced BDSM practices, un-/under- negotiated kink, horny climbing, horny cohabitation, horny on main except by main I mean at a party surrounded by innocent bystanders, Praise Kink, Masturbation, Bondage, Lingerie, Orgasm Delay/Denial, omg they were roommates, Modern, BDSM, debatably a bit of dom drop, Public Masturbation, Edging, Getting Together, WQ has to come in and straighten this shit out)

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6. Okay so looking for a fic where lwj or wwx accidentally summon incubus/succubus wwx or lwj. (I can't remember who was the sex demon or who was the human but it is a wangxian fic)

So, the succubus needs food and it is, unsurprisingly, cum. As in they have to literally eat cum to survive. So the human is followed by this succubus/incubus everywhere they go to including his university.

The human does love feeding the sex demon and even lets him feed in the uni bathroom during breaks.

Does a fic like this exist? Does it ring any bell?

FOUND? An Array of Good Decisions by celerydragon (E, 11k, WangXian, Demon Sex Size Kink, Size Difference, Consensual Non-Consent, dubcon, Tongue Sex, Omegaverse, Humiliation, Mild Breeding Kink)

FOUND? Lan Wangji's Fullproof Guide on How (NOT) to Summon a Demon by fardimensions (E, 3k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Porn With Plot, but not a lot of plot, Incubus WWX, Demons, wwx has a tail, Wings, Interspecies Sex, Bottom LWJ/Top WWX, Anal Sex, Crack, Filthy, size queen LWJ)

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7. for the fic finder: it's a fic (dom/sub canon au?) where wei wuxian gave lan wangji a collar before he died. lan wangji keeps the collar for as long as he can but eventually the leather is too old and it breaks. there's a bunch of sadness but all is well when wei wuxian resurrects.

thank you for all you do!!

FOUND? Breathe Again by Sheehan_sidhe (E, 4k, wangxian, Grief/Mourning, Depression, Breathplay, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, POV LWJ, LWJ Has Feelings, Submissive LWJ, Crying LWJ, Grieving LWJ, Collars, Angst with an Eventual Happy Ending)

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8. for fic finder: my heart tells me it was a modern/modern with cultivation au, but my searches have been fruitless. i just remember our beloved wangxian dancing around each other, and the juniors being there with a similar problem. specifically, jin ling being tested at archery, and sizhui Totally Only There For Emotional Support And No Other Reason.

FOUND? with you, I am home by tellthemstories (M, 47k, wangxian, Modern Cultivation, fake dating for reasons, Meeting the Family, There Was Only One Bed, Casual Domesticity, wwx is oblivious in more ways than one, 'this fic is like emotional edging', this comment sums up the entire fic)

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9. heyI've been looking for a fic for a while.WWX and LWJ were in the turtle's cave of slaughter... they had no energy to fight and decided to do double cultivation.

When it comes to the part where WWX donates the golden core to JC.... during the surgery, WQ discovers WWX is pregnant, the double cultivation generated a uterus.

He is still captured by the Wen clan and thrown into the grave hill.He believes he lost the baby because of this and uses his resentful energy to survive and get revenge.

When he reaches the part at the end of the campaign where the sun falls, he goes into labor without knowing that he is still pregnant.

It's not Omegaverse.

Sorry if my writing is bad, english is not my first language @crazy-tai

FOUND? Impermanence, Transience, Permanence by Best Bepsy (BepsyGray) (E, 39k, wangxian, canon divergence, unplanned pregnancy, mpreg, gore, sunshot campaign, assumed miscarriage, medical procedures, childbirth, golden core reveal)

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10. Hello! I was wondering if anyone here knew of a fic that took place during the Wen Indoctrination? If I remember right, it was only one chapter, set mostly in the Untamed universe because Wei Wuxian and Wen Ning had worked together to make it seem like he was dead for the Wens after being locked in with that dog, but he was grabbed too early and basically paraded in front of the other disciples under the belief that he was dead. If anyone else has seen this fic, I'd be extremely grateful!

FOUND!🔒💖 the universe would turn to a mighty stranger by RavenclawLoki (T, 11k, wangxian, Angst, Eventual Fluff, Some mentions of blood, it looks like someone is dead but!!, it is okay, everything is going to be okay i promise, First Kiss, Canon Divergence, Wwx and lwj know they're in love, They just don't know the other loves them back, Everyone Lives AU, Hurt WWX, Hurt LWJ)

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11. For your next fic finder, I'm looking for a modern wangxian dating reality tv au. It's omegaverse and in the first half of the show, everyone is paired up, but in the second half of the show, it's wilderness survival with the alphas trying to catch the omegas. Wwx is a career omega who is trying to get a cash prize instead of an alpha. @leahlisabeth

FOUND? 🧡 shoot your shot – hot or knot by defractum (nyargles) (E, 51k, WangXian, Modern AU, A/B/O Dynamics, Reality Show, Hunger Games Setting, Canon-Typical Violence, Extremely Dubious Consent, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Humor, Additional Warnings In Author’s Notes)

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12. Guys I need help finding this story. So it’s about Wei ying being hit by this memory yao. And he is in pain. So lan zhan, lan yuan, lan qiren, lan huan, Jin rulan, and jiang cheng. They use this spell to take Wei ying bad memories. They hold onto this bad memories because they don’t want Wei ying to go through all of that and remember. Ofc they are traumatized but they love him, etc. sooo please if you know the name write in comments. I have been looking for it for DAYS @zodime101

FOUND? Window of the Waking Mind by mrcformoso (M, 8k, wangxian, LSZ & WWX, JC & WWX, Graphic depictions of violence, Major Character Death, Heavy Angst with a Happy Ending, Sad with a Happy Ending, Post-Canon, Torture, Golden Core Transfer, WWX Has Self-Esteem Issues, Hurt WWX, WWX Needs a Hug, WWX Needs a Break, Flashbacks, Curses, Night Hunts, Suicide, Starvation, Canonical Child Abuse, Canonical Character Death, Cannibalism, Although it was forced by the situation to survive, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, lots of comfort, Soft LQR, Learning To Communicate, Zidian Spiritual Tool, JC Tries, Reaction)

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13. hi! for the next fic finder — it was sizhui centered! him being raised by lwj but also wwx, but wwx is a ghost. and wwx has no recollection of his death and there was this one scene where he curls up around ayuans body and falls asleep and he wakes in the cloud recesses and i think he thinks he's being ignored? and then there was the whole realizing he was a ghost thing. and also lwj burying his body at the bm. pls help me T^T its Not "the dark doesnt frighten me, its mine" btw!

NOT FOUND! the moon, grown full by Deinde (T, 22k, LSZ & WWX, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Spirits, Identity Reveal, discussion of war crimes, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Hopeful Ending, Homecoming, reclaiming your name and identity, Names, Families of Choice)

FOUND! The Intervening Years by rosemu (G, 11k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, LSZ centric, Parent-Child Relationship, Wangxian is background, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort)

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14. Hi! For fic finder: I am looking for a canon-era fic where cultivators have golden blood and regular people have red blood. When Wei Wuxian loses his core his blood fades to red, which means he has to work harder to hide his wounds or they will give away his core-less state. I particularly remember the scene where Jiang Cheng stabs him in their “mock” fight WWX hides his wound with a cloak. He takes to covering up his body fully from head to toe to avoid showing any scrapes. Then after he is revived and Jiang Cheng whips him he purposefully shows the red blood to “prove” he isn’t WWX, then I think the core reveal happens when Jin Ling stabs him and everyone knows its him and they see the red blood too. Thank you!!

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15. I need help finding a fic, I didn’t get too far into it but I really want to finish it. I think it was a longer fic and I think it’s well known and/or already in a comp or itmf answer. I i remember is that the summary put wwx as a temporary head of the Jiang Clan, from the first few chapters I think he’s tricked/strong armed into this position by JC. He had some Buisness at koi tower or a conference that would take a while so he needed a filler and wanted WWX. I think it’s post-cannon and it had someone insulting WWX in the summary and something along the lines of a statement of spite and a declaration to prove said person wrong.

This is likely a terrible description but it’s all I have. I know I got the og link from this site so someone should recognize it… Help would be greatly appreciated.

FOUND? Twelve Moons and a Fortnight by stiltonbasket (M, 290k, WangXian, Humor, Slow Burn, Post-Canon Fix-It, Long-Distance Relationship, Epistolary, Love Letters, Family Feels, a-qing lives, teenage romance, Adoption, Romantic Comedy, Happy Ending, Weddings, Case Fic, Parenthood, Politics)

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16. Hello! For the next fic finder I have two fics:

A) the only thing I remember about this fic is that it deals with the "do not speak with Wei Ying" rule. Lan Wangji was really angry when he found out and was about to go yell at his uncle, but Wei Wuxian kept trying to stop him. I remember Wwx threw himself into a pond or down a hill or something to snap Lwj out of it? I don't remember anything else about the fic unfortunately.

B) vampire au where Wwx was a vampire and the lans hunted the supernatural I think? Wangxian had to work together to stop some evil thing. I remember Wwx's backstory was something like: Wen Chao captured him and locked him in a room with a vampire, thinking it would result in Wwx dying (cultivators couldn't be turned into vampires, they would just die). But Wwx had given up his core so he got turned and Wen Chao locked him in a house with Wen Ning. There was a fire and Wwx turned Wen Ning to save his life. I also remember a scene where Wwx tried to go into Cloud Recesses, but the wards wouldn't let him. He thought this meant Lwj wanted nothing to do with him, but it was just Lan Xichen updating the wards or something.

Thank you!

16A)

FOUND?🔒Scenes From Three Winters by LtLJ (G, 12k, wangxian, post-canon, romance, family feels, family issues, family drama, PTSD, body horror, bad parent LQR, happy ending) Wei Ying throwing himself in a pond and down a hill to snap LWJ out of anger at his uncle sounds a lot like what happens at the end of Scenes from Three Winters by LtLJ but it's not specifically the 'do not speak to Wei Ying' rule that's the problem (will probably need to read other fics in the series for context)

16B)

FOUND?🔒hear the monsters calling home by sundiscus (M, 8k, wangxian, Modern Cultivation, Vampires, Misunderstandings, Angst with a Happy Ending, blood drinking (romantic))

FOUND? And you must keep your soul/ Like a secret in your throat by athena_crikey (E, 48k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Vampire WWX, Cultivator LWJ, Case Fic, h/c Angst, Falling In Love, First Time, Reference to Torture)

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17. Hi!! for the next fic finder, I was hoping of you guys could help me find a fic where it takes place in post canon: lwj cultivates to immortality even though he didn’t want to be and wwx tried hard to catch up to him but later on passes away bc he was never able to. Lwj was so devastated and during wwx’s funeral, jc came to pay respects and lwj found out that jc has also become an immortal. lwj says something along the lines of “how dare you cultivate to immortality with his core?” it might be a reincarnation fic but that’s about all i can remember from it. Thank you so much! @makkachiin

FOUND!🔒Closer Than Eternity by Netrixie (T, 26k, WangXian, Modern AU, Reincarnation, an unhealthy addiction to starbucks, Immortals, Self-Doubt, POV Alternating, Minor Original Character(s), Canon Compliant, Post-Canon, Temporary Character Death, Angst with a Happy Ending, not for jc fans, This is not a reconciliation fic) The scene at WY's funeral is in Chapter 3.

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18. Hi! I hope my request will be clear, since English is not my first language, so I apologize in advance. I really want to read it, but I can't find a fic in which Lan Sizhui dies on a night hunt, saving the distracted Lan Zhan and Wei Ying. I don't remember many details, but I remember how the grief of A-Yuan's family and friends was described, and then A-Yuan was reborn. The fic was on ao3. @amelliss

FOUND? Setting Of The Sun by heartsdesire456 (M, 8k, WangXian , Character Death, Or Is It?, Grief/Mourning, Child Loss, Heavy Angst) i don't think it's reincarnation but this sounds similar to

FOUND? Our Son Reborn by RenaFair (T, 103k, WangXian, Mpreg, Deities, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Slow Build, There's smut, Rollercoaster of Emotions, baby a-yuan)

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19. hi, I’m look for a fic from ao3, I can’t really remember the plot but the end was wwx absorbing the tiger seal and in the process made a SILVER core. It happened in the burial mound (I think after the seal was stolen in Lanling but that might be a different fic)the timeline was before wwx’s first death because wen Qing was still alive @teasong

FOUND? ❤️ kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight by AlfAlfAlfAlfAlf, tardigradeschool (T, 75k, WangXian, Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Eventual Happy Ending, Getting Together, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Inspired by The Parent Trap (1998), Kid Fic, teen shenanigans, two a-yuans, Fluff and Angst)

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20. Hello! I am looking for Wangxian fanfiction where Wei Ying and Lan Zhan are lovers before Demonic cultivation and Wei Ying hurt Lan Zhan as in canon later the reunite after 13 years or something like that @abz18699-blog

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#wangxian #mdzs #wangxian fic finder #wangxian fic search #the untamed #wangxianficfinder #long post

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