#north is so damn annoying

[itspkuwu]

HANK SHOULD’VE BEEN THE ONE THAT SHOWED CONNOR HE COULD BE MORE THAN A MACHINE. NOT MARKUS. EFF MARKUS.

[trans-estinien]

Hey maybe dont say this in the tags to someone who has family members who are residential school survivors. Thanks. It was a very real thing that affected hundreds of thousands of people. Including myself.

[roboticthing]

weirdest thing about playing assassin's creed is playing syndicate as a londoner. for some reason every so often I'll suddenly remember that I live near by the places I'm running across and I'm just like O.o I could leave rn and look at this irl instead of on a screen...

[meangirls-imagines]

Protective Plastic

Description: Everyone in North Shore knows that Reader and the Plastics are in a polyamorous relationship. Guys still make nasty comments about them. Reader has a very short temper. It breaks at a party after Shane tries to corner Regina.

WARNINGS: mentions of blood, fighting, injury, alcohol consumption, minor weed consumption, the plastics being soft for their girl.

Everyone thank @yungpoetfics for inspiring me to write this.

Bubs. Thank you for rambling about mean girls with me and fueling my ideas! I luv u!

The party at Jake's was in full swing by the time Y/N pulled up to the house. She sighed before parking near the familiar jeep. She turned her car off and grabbed the pre-rolled joints she brought and got out of her car.

She had promised her girlfriends that she would come to the party. She didn't want to, she'd rather be at home smoking and enjoying her Friday night but her girlfriends gave her those damn puppy eyes and she couldn't resist.

She trudged up the front yard, passing a few passed out teenagers as she walked into the house.

The music was blasting and Y/N could already not hear herself think. All she wanted to do was find her girlfriends, but with the amount of people in the house, it was going to take forever. So, she grabbed herself a beer and headed out to the backyard where everyone was smoking or quietly talking amongst themselves.

She pulled out her phone to text the girls where she was so they could find her. She put the phone back in her pocket and pulled out her lighter and one of the joints.

She lit the joint and took a pull as Karen made her way out of the house. The girl scanned the yard before her eyes landed on Y/N. She lit up and walked over to Y/N, plopping herself in the girl's lap.

"Hi baby!" Y/N kissed Karen and smiled, offering the joint to the girl, who excitedly took it and took a pull. "You look so pretty, angel. How is your night going?" Karen blushed and handed the joint back to her girlfriend.

"Much better now that you're here! Gretchen and I were dancing a lot and Regina even joined us." Y/N smiled. As if she was summoned, Gretchen came out the back door, instantly seeing her girls and quickly walking over to them.

"Corazón!" Y/N smiled brightly at the girl as she sat down next to her, gently guiding her into a bruising kiss. Y/N moaned into it as Gretchen slid her tongue into her mouth. The two made out for a minute before pulling away.

Y/N looked at Gretchen with a smirk on her face. "Where did that come from?" Gretchen smirked back. "I've missed you, amor." Y/N smiled and pecked her lips. "I missed you too. Where's Gina?"

Gretchen motioned for the joint. "She's getting us drinks. She'll be out in a minute." Y/N nodded and continued talking to her girls as they passed the joint around. By the time the joint was finished, Regina still hadn't come out.

Y/N decided to go check on the blonde, handing the second joint to Karen and Gretchen along with her lighter, before venturing into the house. She searched the living room where everyone was dancing, not seeing Regina and headed to the kitchen.

What she saw made her see red and her blood boil.

Regina looked very uncomfortable as she was pressed up to the counter by none other than Shane Oman.

Y/N stormed over to where her girlfriend was and cleared her throat. Regina looked relieved to see her girlfriend as Shane turned around annoyed. "I think my girlfriend wants you to leave her alone, Shane."

The boy looked at Y/N annoyed. "Was I asking you, Y/N? No. Let Regina talk for herself." He turned back to the blonde and Y/N grabbed his shoulder to turn him once again.

"I don't care if you were asking me or not, she isn't interested." Shane glared at the girl before smirking. "Oh, I see. You wanna play hero. It's not going to end well for you. So back off." Y/N shoved him. "Shut up, Oman. You're just jealous my silicone dick is bigger than your actual dick."

Shane snapped and swung, connecting with Y/N's cheek. Regina gasped as Y/N recovered quite quickly before throwing herself at the boy.

Fists were wild flying as the two tussled on the ground. A crowd had formed and people were recording. Regina was screaming at the two to stop, trying to get someone to help her.

Shane had the upper hand, he had Y/N pinned down and was raining punches down on her face. Y/N had a major cut above her eyebrow and her nose was bleeding. She managed to get a knee up and knee the boy in the back, quickly getting the upper hand back.

At this point, Karen and Gretchen had ran back in the house and caught a glimpse of the chaos unfolding. Y/N managed to get a few good hits on Shane before she was pulled off by Aaron.

The two were a mess, blood all over their faces and knuckles. The girls automatically went to Y/N, immediately fussing over her as Shane was getting held back by a couple of football players. Jake had made his way to the commotion, breaking up the crowd and kicking Shane out.

He apologized to the girls for Shane before taking his leave. Regina stood in front of Y/N as she leaned back on the counter for support. Her girlfriends stood in front of her, assessing her injuries as the girl swayed. "We have to get her home. Gretchen, can you drive her car to my house?"

As the four made it back to Regina's house, Regina and Karen helped Y/N out of the Jeep, Gretchen coming to help. The three guided Y/N to Regina's room, before letting her lay down on the huge bed. The three sprung into action, Karen grabbing water and a snack for Y/N, Gretchen grabbing clothes, and Regina grabbing the first aid kit out of her bathroom.

Regina decided to clean Y/N up before she got changed and she pulled out alcohol pads, Y/N immediately cringing. Regina smiled at the girl. "Baby. I know you hate it, but I don't need that cut to get infected. It's gonna sting."

Gretchen and Karen held Y/n's hands as Regina cleaned her face up. Y/N hissed in pain as Regina gently wiped the cuts. Gretchen and Karen decided to take the time to clean Y/N's hands, gently wiping the dried blood off.

After the girls were done, they helped Y/N change before changing themselves and sandwiched Y/N in bed. Y/N laid in-between Karen and Gretchen who ran their fingers through her hair. Regina was spooning Karen and also holding Y/N's hand, gently rubbing her bruised knuckles with her thumb.

"Thank you for protecting me tonight, Y/N. I really appreciate it, baby." Y/N squeezed the blonde's hand. "Anything for you baby. I'd do anything for all three of you."

The girls voiced their gratitude and gently lulled Y/N to sleep, exhausted from the chaos.

[badasgirlfriend]

Opposites Attract | Bada Lee Imagine

pairings: slytherin!bada lee x gryffindor!fem!reader

genre: enemies to lovers, hp universe, idk

~part 2~

Y/N sighed in frustration as Professor McGonagall explained the theory behind transfiguration. She truly loved her professor and the subject, but today just wasn't her day.

Y/N whispered to her best friend Eli, who was sitting next to her. "I can't focus,"

Eli nodded in agreement. "Me neither," she said. "I just want to go to my common room and get some rest."

"I can't wait for next week's match," Y/N exclaimed rather loudly, catching the professor's attention but going unnoticed.

Eli smirked. "We will beat your asses," she said.

"In your dreams," Y/N said, rolling her eyes. "How long has it been- two years maybe? Three? That's how long it's been since slytherins defeated us."

"That's because Heesung was captain. You know how bad he was. Now it's Bada, so- "

"Don't mention her"

"We will 100% win," Eli smirked, poking her shoulder, as if attempting to get a reaction from Y/N. "Did I hit a nerve?" Eli asked.

"I will hex you," Y/N threatened, jokingly grabbing her wand. However, seeing Eli's face change to fear, Y/N slowly turned around.

"I don't remember teaching hexes, Miss Y/N," Professor McGonagall said firmly.

"Of course not, professor," the younger girl smiled sweetly. "I was just joking."

"I heard you got in trouble today." Y/N immediately gulped at the mention of today's incident , knowing full well that she was in trouble.

"Minnie- Professor Sprout wasn't being fair," she stated quickly, attempting to defend herself.

"I argued with a Hufflepuff. I might have thrown in some insults- I can't remember," she finished weakly. "That's all I swear."

Professor McGonagall raised an eyebrow. "That's all?" she asked in shock. "Yes," Y/N replied.

"Huh, that's new," Professor McGonagall mumbled. "You two. I don't want to see you talking in class anymore. Focus on the notes." Y/N and Eli looked at each other in defeat.

"She's so scary"

"I know"

After an hour of taking notes and practicing transfiguration, class ended. With their different class schedules, Y/N and Eli had to part ways at this point. Y/N was off to Divination, while Eli was heading to History of Magic.

Y/N arrived at the North Tower and immediately spotted Mars, a Ravenclaw that she had grown very close with this year.

"Can I sit with you?" she asked, earning a nod of approval from Mars.

"Yes, of course," Mars replied enthusiastically.

As soon as Y/N sat down, a crystal ball appeared on their desk, much to their surprise.

"Your Jupiter planet seems to be bothered, that means you'll die next year," Mars said, mimicking Professor Trelawny's voice.

"Oh no," Y/N gasped "What a shame," she said sarcastically. "I can't wait though."

Y/N started waving her hands around the crystal ball with a serious expression on her face.

"Damn it," she said. "Ravenclaw will lose to Gryffindor."

Mars pushed Y/N playfully. "Shove off," he continued playfully.

"You don't need to be an expert in Divination to know what happens next," a high-pitched voice said, causing both of them to freeze.

"We both get Outstandings- nevermind we won't," Mars started to say, only to immediately stop as he saw the furious look on the professor's face.

"What's with these professors sneaking up on me today?" Y/N grumbled, rolling her eyes in annoyance.

Y/N strongly disliked Professor Trelawney. Not just because she was unable to excel in Divination, but also because the professor irritated her in many ways. These ways include Trelawney's annoying trait of speaking nonsense

"Miss Y/N, change seats," The professor glanced around, suddenly noticing two Slytherins enter the classroom. "You can sit with Miss Lee,"

The two girls' faces turned into horror the second their eyes met.

"Never"

"Hell no"

"Either change seats, or you both get detention," the professor threatened solemnly.

"Why do I get detention when it's her fault?" Bada rolled her eyes, clearly annoyed at the situation.

"You're late, Miss Lee. Don't act so innocent," the professor said.

Hearing this made Bada snap back into her seat, realizing that protesting further would not do any good.

"It's not looking good for me," Bada mumbled to Mika, who only snickered in reply.

"It's only one class, don't complain," Mika replied.

In response, Bada let out a scoff "With her? It feels like a week."

On the other side of class, Y/N was quietly grabbing her book and muttering curses.

"It can't be that bad"

In response, Y/N whined, pointing at Bada. "It is," she said. "We're talking about her.

"Forgot about your little rivalry," Mars said with a chuckle.

"Pray for me, no actually, pray for her," Y/N muttered to Mars as she got up from her seat and headed to the new spot the professor had assigned for her.

On her way there, she shot Mika a dark look, only to receive a smug smirk in response from the Slytherin girl.

Stupid Slytherins

Without looking at the tall girl, Y/N sat down on the chair and scooted it away from Bada. Almost instantly, a strong, familiar smell wafted in front of Y/N's nose, filling her nostrils with the musky scent mixed with hints of vanilla.

Bada looked up and noticed that Y/N had scooted the chair away from her. Rolling her eyes, she looked away and went back to her work, clearly not caring about Y/N's discomfort.

Bada noticed that Y/N had scooted the chair away from her. Without saying a word, she rolled her eyes at the other girl's obvious discomfort.

She tried, she really did but Bada was simply incapable of keeping quiet in this situation. She simply couldn't sit there without throwing in a word toward the Gryffindor girl.

Since the first time the two of them had met, they had been constantly arguing. This was something that was deeply ingrained in Bada's memory.

Smirking, Bada scooted closer, eager to poke at Y/N's nerves.

"Afraid of me, Y/N?" she asked with a smirk on her face.

Noticing Bada's smirk, Y/N simply pressed her teeth together in annoyance "You wish"

"Then why are you sitting so far away then?" Bada asked, her voice dripping with sass. She then proceeded to grab the chair that Y/N was sitting on and scoot it closer to her table.

Y/N gasped in surprise, turning to face the Slytherin girl. "Are you crazy?"

Putting a finger on her chin, Bada pretended to mull over the question, her thoughts running wild in her head.

"I wouldn't say 'crazy,' per se," Bada said, her words dripping with sass.

"But I would certainly say that I am a little out of touch with the concept of 'personal space' when it comes to you," she continued, her smirk growing wider at that subtle dig.

"I'll bring you back to reality," Y/N hissed as she fully glared at Bada.

"You're nothing but an arrogant bitch who only cares about yourself-"

Bada's face changed just as Y/N's words reached their end. Her smirk from earlier now fell, turning into a scowl as she listened to what Y/N had to say.

"If you looked around more, you'd see that the world doesn't revolve around you and your little friends," Y/N continued.

Both girls were completely focused on their argument, and seemingly didn't notice that their faces were incredibly close together.

"Girls."

Neither Bada or Y/N made a single move. The rest of the class did not break their gazes, as they had become accustomed to the girls' bickers and just waited for things to calm down.

"Girls" the professor repeated and they both turned to glare at the professor

"What" they both said

"Pay attention" the professor said now sitting on the armchair near the fire "Alright my dear children now..."

She lifted her wand, her eyes glowing with a wild intensity. She pointed it towards the table and a tea cup rose into the air. With a flick of her wrist, it flew across the room towards her. "Beware the trap set before you, my dear," she uttered in a low and serious tone, her eyes locking with Y/N's.

Y/N's eyes widened in surprise, her gaze filling with sudden fear as she processed the professor's words.

"She's insane," she muttered under her breath, her expression turning from confusion to outright dread.

Bada found herself nodding along in agreement, but she quickly shook her head - she couldn't agree with her

"Collect a tea cup from the shelf, come to me and I'll fill it up" the professor continued "then drink it until only the dregs remain, swill the cup three times and give it to your partner to read it"

Bada and Y/N glared at each other after the professor said 'partners'

After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, the girls finally got to the part where their tea leaves would be interpreted. As they swirled the contents of their cups and waited for the professor's words, their glares were still firmly locked on each other

"I'll read yours first," Y/N mumbled as she grabbed Bada's cup with a little force

As she looked into the cup of tea, Y/N felt herself slowly regretting her decision to not skip class. As her eyes tried to make out any figures or forms within the cup of tea leaves, she was met with nothing but disappointment.

"Huh, I don't see-" Y/N stops abruptly, her eyes suddenly catching a glimpse of something among the tea leaves.

Leaning in closer, she tries to make out the shape or image of whatever it might be.

"Oh wait, I see an acorn!" Y/N exclaims as she finally recognizes the shape in the tea leaves.

"It says you'll have a good change in life," she adds, her tone of voice full of surprise and curiosity "Im good at this"

Bada snorted "You suck"

"Alright, let's see you do it then." Y/N raises her brows expectantly, handing Bada the tea cup.

The slytherin takes the tea cup and looks into its contents, her expression suddenly changing.

"What the fuck"

Y/N looks at her with a slight concern. "What?"

"Falcon," Bada suddenly says, her tone of voice full of shock and horror.

"It means death," she adds, her words hanging in the air as Y/N's heart dropped.

Y/N didn't necessarily believe in the meaning of tea leaf readings and other forms of divination, but she had to admit that some of the interpretations of the tea leaves held some truth to them.

"Where do you see that?" she asks worriedly leaning over Bada

Bada couldn't help but hide a laugh as she saw Y/N's worried face.

"Look" Y/N bit her lip, still looking for the falcon among the tea leaves.

"Now I see a wolf," Bada continued

"A wolf?" Y/N repeated, her words filled with a mixture of confusion and fear. She grabbed ber book trying to find the wolf symbol. After the sighting of the falcon in her tea leaves, Y/she expects nothing but bad news.

"It means that the hottest and most intelligent girl in Hogwarts is sitting next to you," Bada laughed, her words causing Y/N to drop her book making the desk shake

As Y/N slowly tilted her head to look at Bada, her expression slowly turned to a grimace, which caused Bada to break into further laughter.

"You bitch, give me that" Y/N snapped at Bada, quickly picking up her tea cup from Bada's hands.

"Avada kedavra yourself,"

"Girls, be quiet," the professor said, as she walked up behind both Bada and Y/N. Both girls flinched at her presence, their eyes widening in surprise "Give me your cup"

"Oh my dear, you have the anchor," the seer broke into a grin

Y/N turned to Bada, her eyes narrowing at her.

"What does that mean?"

"How the fuck would I know?" Bada replied with a slight frown, her voice full of annoyance.

"It means you'll find love," the professor finally replied, her tone still somewhat vague as she handed Y/N the cup.

Y/N stared at her cup, her eyes widening in surprise as she suddenly realized that she could see the anchor. And that made her smile

Bada kept a close eye on Y/N, with every passing second she felt herself growing more and more amused by the sight of Y/N

"Are they smiling?" Mika asked, looking back and forth between Bada and Y/N, their expressions both filled with disbelief.

"I wish I had a camera," Mars said quietly to Mika, unable to contain the laughter that was slowly building up inside of them.

"Ouch!" Bada yelped when Y/N suddenly pinched her.

"What was that for?" she asked with a slight frown

"That was for lying and scaring me." Y/N replied but Bada reached out and tightened her tie

"Motherfu-"

"Y/N stop it!"

"Stop kicking my shin"

"Let me-

"Bada sto-"

Their eyes widened slightly as they heard that shattering sound, their gazes slowly shifting down to the ground.

As they realized that the crystal ball had fallen, Y/N gasped while Bada merely huffed in response.

Professor Trelawney moved closer to the two girls, her expression becoming more and more furious as she looked directly at Y/N and Bada.

"I can see potions class, that means we have detention," Y/N said quickly, taking Bada's cup and speaking as if she had just made the most obvious deduction in the world.

Professor Trelawney's expression shifted to one of annoyance as she heard Y/N's words, her anger slowly starting to fester.

"Detention for you two at 5!" she finally said, her words laced with a slight hint of disdain.

"Amazing," Bada groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. "This is all your fault," she continued, turning to Y/N with a slightly frustrated tone.

"My fault?" Y/N scoffed, her tone shifting from casual to defensive as she looked up at Y/N.

"You started this"

"QUIET"

Bada rubbed her neck as she entered the Great Hall, her step slowing slightly as she looked around at the various student's filling the space around her.

It wasn't like she had many classes this day, but the divination class had left her feeling drained and tired

Professor Trelawney could often leave Bada feeling this way, and she found herself wanting to avoid that class at all costs.

"Why do I put myself through this?" she asked herself quietly

"You look like you ran a marathon," Dani suddenly popped up alongside Bada as they made their way towards the Slytherin table.

Bada let out a tired sigh "I wish I did that instead."

"She made her sit with Y/n" Mika exclaims, catching Dani by surprise.

"Are you serious?" Dani laughs and replies with disbelief. "She's got something against Bada, for sure."

"I got detention because of her," Bada explains with a frown

"Well, it's not like you were innocent either," Mika retorts "You were the one who pushed the crystal ball"

"Yoo you did what"

"I don't even care," Bada grumbled, pushing her food away.

"You're obsessed with her" Eli's voice spoke in front of her.

"Of course you would say that." Bada replied, facing Eli. "You're her best friend"

"I'm just telling you the truth." Eli shrugged, keeping her arms crossed in front of her.

"Stop that smirk, I know what goes on in your mind." Bada pointed her fork in Eli's direction.

"Yeah, whatever," Eli waved a hand dismissively. "I just came to talk about practice.

At the mention of quidditch Bada's eyes lit up "Tomorrow after classes, I talked to Snape he got us the pitch"

"Oh, so he is useful," Eli rolled her eyes.

Bada nodded, understanding that most Slytherins, including herself, weren't the biggest fans of Professor Snape. As the head of their house, though, he could grant special favors like the Quidditch pitch for practice or never taking points

"I'm kinda stressed about the game next week," Lila confided.

"Pff, why?" Bada smirked and waved a hand dismissively, clearly not understanding Lila's stress. "It's Gryffindor, come on," she replied.

Lila narrowed her eyes at Bada. "It's Gryffindor, You and I both know that they have excellent players. Especially with Y/N being captain. We can't underestimate them and go in with a cocky attitude."

"What's so special about Y/N being a captain?" Bada hissed. Y/N this Y/N that, Bada was tired of jer

"I thought you'd know by now," Eli remarked with a shrug. "You're always watching Y/N play," she added with a smirk.

"That's not true"

Lila spoke up, "It's true"

Bada turned to Dani, frowning. "Dani? I might need a little help here."

Dani didn't hesitate to turn the tables on Bada, giving her a sympathetic smile. "Sorry, I'm with them on this one," she replied.

Bada let out a frustrated sigh as she spoke. "Fine, okay, but it was only because I wanted to see the strategies she uses," she said.

She took a treacle tart from the table, her friends' eyes watching her closely. As she raised her head and saw their eyes staring straight at her, she felt herself freeze. "What?"

"Did yall hear that"

"Pfft strategies"

"It's 5:12"

"Is she really trying to lie to us"

"Five-twelve, Professor Trelawney is going to kill me," she mumbled as she tried her best to devour the entire tart in a single bite. "I- go- bye," she added, waving a hand dismissively and running off to try to get to the dungeons

She wasn't the type of person to worry about getting detention, but now that she was captain and a prefect, she hated the fact that she had to be on her best behavior. Upon seeing the dark door at the end of the hall, Bads took a deep breath and gave herself a moment to prepare before entering.

As the strong scent of potions hit Bada's nose, she had to try her best to keep herself from gagging. She noticed with dread the familiar Gryffindor sitting across from Professor Trelawney, upon hearing the cracking sound of the door, the two heads turned to face her

"You're late, Miss Bada," Professor Trelawney exclaimed, her hands on her hips.

"Sorry, Professor," Bada replied with a sweet smile. "I got held up talking to Prof Snape."

A loud sound was heard and Snape stepped away from the shelves in the corner of the room, holding some potions. His expression remained impassive, as always.

"Oh really?"

The slytherin girl quickly corrected herself, her eyes darting around the office. "What I meant to say was that I was trying to find Professor Snape, which was unsuccessful, as you can see," she continued, speaking quickly before the professor could interrupt. "That's- why I was late."

Y/N's eyes narrowed as she heard Bada's feeble excuse, but she remained silent. A low snort escaped her lips before she turned her attention back to Professor Trelawney

"You have an hour detention," Professor Trelawney stated "I want you to clean this class and also rearrange the potions according to their correct labels."

Bada's eyes widened as the seer continued. "Professor Snape will check with me later to make sure that you didn't use any wands"

"That's not fair!" Y/N spoke up, her tone whiny.

"At least make it 30 minutes," she continued, sounding desperate.

Professor Trelawney gave her a disapproving look before replying, "Wanna make it two hours?"

Bada quickly grabbed a broom, her expression sullen as she tried to hide her frustration. "Let's get it over with," she muttered, and began the tedious-sounding task.

The two girls handed over their wands to Snape, and the two professors left the class.

With Professor Trelawney and Professor Snape out of sight, Y/N turned to Bada "Unbelievable," she grumbled.

"I know," Bada replied.

Y/N heard a crack at the sharp turn of her head, and turned her eyes to face Bada. "Stop agreeing with me,"

With a huff of annoyance, Bada began cleaning the floor. "Fine, I wish she gave us two hours then,"

No one spoke as they cleaned the room. The only sounds that could be heard were the broom sweeping across the floor and the soft sound of cauldrons being handled in the distance.

Y/N was gently cleaning the cauldrons, glancing with curiosity at Bada's appearance.

The Slytherin's hair was tied up in a low ponytail, her bangs in a slightly messy state. She rarely wore the uniform correctly, but today, it felt different to Y/N.

Bada's shirt hung low around her frame, and the green tie laid loose. The Slytherin's appearance caught Y/N's eye for a moment, as if she found Bads attractive. Though she would never have said it out loud,

Y/N was the opposite of her, with her uniform always put together and looking proper.

She wasn't used to being alone with the Slytherin girl, and as a result, she felt somewhat uncomfortable with the silence. In an attempt to lessen her nerves, she cleared her throat and asked, "What's your favorite color?"

"Are you for real?" Bada's face turned up towards Y/N as she spoke.

The Gryffindor gave her an annoyed glance, "Well, it's a simple question," she explained. "Mine is red."

Bads smirked slightly, one eyebrow raising in amusement. "Very Gryffindor of you," she repeated, a slight edge to her voice as she turned back to sweeping the floor.

"So...?" Y/N trailed off as she continued to sweep. Her eyes were fixed on the floor, but she listened carefully as Bads answered the question.

The Slytherin's voice was quiet, but her tone was confident as she replied, "Green."

Y/N smiled, repeating Bada's words "Very Slytherin of you," she teased, making the other girl smile slightly in response.

"Your turn"

Bada's face was full of annoyance as her eyes went to Y/N. She let out a loud sigh as she spoke, her frustration already running high. "What are your strategies for the next game?"

Y/N dropped the cauldron. "Hey, simple questions," she replied, her voice a bit higher than usual.

"Your favorite professor?"

"Minnie"

"Your strategies for the next game?"

"To beat you," Y/N replied, moving over to the various tools that had been left out.

Bada dropped the broom, feeling a bit frustrated with the detention. She was now seated in front of Y/N, watching the Gryffindor in close proximity. "Hey, I tried," she shrugged

"What are you doing?" Y/N looked up at Bada, her expression revealing her disbelief.

Bads narrowed her eyes, looking irritated as she responded, "Staring."

Y/N couldn't stop herself from rolling her eyes. "Oh, thank you for your clear answer," she said sarcastically. "I never would have known that on my own. Why aren't you cleaning?"

"Oh, come on, Y/N," Bada huffed. "I'm not gonna clean the entire class," she complained as she looked around the classroom. "Look how big it is,"

"I don't care," Y/N responded quickly, putting the tools and rag in front of her. "You won't get in trouble with Snape, but I will, so start."

"Or what" Bada challenged waiting for her reaction

"You might regret it" her mouth turned into a playful grin

Without waiting for an answer, Y/N headed towards the small storeroom in the corner, struggling to carry five different potions. Bada, however, was too busy admiring Y/N to bother helping her.

The Slytherin's eyes roamed Y/N's entire body, taking in the way her skirts hugged her hips and the length of her legs. There was something enticing about the way she carried herself, something that made her want to keep staring. Bads even wondered how her body would feel against hers, what it would be like to touch her skin and run her fingers over her curves

Bada's eyes travelled to Y/N's face, unable to deny that she was one of the most beautiful girls in Hogwarts. Even though they had a bit of a competition going on, Bada couldn't help but notice how captivating Y/N was. The shorter girl's facial features were beyond compare, with sharp eyes that cut through the air and high cheekbones that added a touch of elegance to her appearance. Bada thought to herself: If anyone was the most beautiful girl at Hogwarts, it had to be Y/N.

"Are you even listening to me?" Y/N's voice snapped Bada back into reality.

"Well, yeah," she replied, sounding a bit unsure of whether or not she was actually being truthful.

"Doesn't seem like it," Y/N repeated with a mischievous smile. "Come help me hold the door. Just don't let it close otherwise can't go out"

The Gryffindor rolled her eyes at the charm that Professor Snape had put in place. In case the door locks no one from inside can open it. While it was annoying, it was also smart.

With a heavy sigh, Bada moved towards the small closet, stomping along the way. She walked past Y/N and held the doors open, determined not to talk to the Gryffindor any more than necessary.

Y/N stood now inside the closet, on top of a chair putting various potions away. She had to wonder just how long it would take them to clean up the whole of Potions class. At least now they had each other's help.

"Work faster," Bada grumbled, leaning against the door. Her eyes were fixed on Y/N

"I'm sorry, I'm the one doing everything here," Y/N answered, turning to look at tall girl. She was surprised by the Slytherin's attitude, but wasn't about to back down from a fight.

"Excuse me?"

Y/N narrowed her eyes at Bada, she wasn't paying attention to where she was placing the potion. With a quick motion, the Gryffindor moved the vial towards the shelf, accidentally missing and knocking it over. The fall caused her to lose her balance, and Bada's eyes widened as she saw the incident happen.

"Fuck- DON'T"

"YO"

Bada quickly left her place, seeing Y/N lose her balance. She didn't hesitate to reach out to catch the Gryffindor before she fell, but the moment she did, the door of the closet unexpectedly closed. The darkness felt stiflingly close and Bads felt a twinge of panic

Y/N's heart felt like it was about to burst inside her chest. She couldn't decide which part of the situation was causing her heart to pound: the fact that they were now stuck in the closet, the fall itself, or the feeling of Bada holding her bridal style.

The darkness wasn't overwhelming, but thanks to a crack in the door, there was just enough light for Y/N to see Bada's face clearly.

"Um," Y/N started, and Bada's eyes went to hers in an instant.

In a sheer panic, the Slytherin hadn't realized just how close their faces were until it was too late. Y/N had her arms wrapped around the older girl's neck and Bada was holding her tightly.

Both of them found themselves rooted to the spot, their eyes locked on the other. Neither one could find the strength or energy to pull away from the close proximity they found themselves in, both feeling trapped in the moment.

Y/N's gaze darted to Bada's parted lips for a quick second, and for that split moment, a surge of heat travelled through her body. She quickly looked back up, her eyes focused on Bada's face.

Why did she like the feeling of being this close to her

Bada felt like she was going crazy as well. Her stomach was in knots and her knees were weak. She could feel the warmth of Y/N's breath on her face, a closeness she was starting to find herself enjoying. She was sure she was losing her mind because she knew Y/N hated her, just like Bada hated Y/N

If they hated each other so much, why did she find herself imagining what it would be like to taste the girl she despited so much ? Bada was sure she was going insane, the mere thought of being intimate with Y/N ridiculous and unthinkable. And yet, there she was, imagining what Y/N's lips would be like against her own.

"What the hell!" the taller girl yelled, dropping Y/N to the ground without even warning her.

"Why the fuck did you just drop me?"

"Why'd you pinch me?"

The girls immediately reverted back to their previous hostile and combative state, looking at each other with daggers in their eyes. It didn't take much to get them worked up and pissed off at one another, especially when it came to the tiniest of infractions.

Y/N got up, dusting off her now-dirty skirt while trying to salvage whatever dignity she had left "It's all your fault"

Laughter filled the room as Bada held up her hands in defense. "Me? Who decided to twirl on the chair, hmm?"

Y/N was furious. "Because you wouldn't help," she snapped at Bada.

Bada scoffed and shook her head. "Don't put it on me now, when it's clearly your fault," she said.

Y/N balled her hands into fists. "I'm not doing this with you," she said, frustrated. "Just forget it. Whatever, it doesn't matter."

"It does matter," Bada muttered, leaning back against the wooden wall. Despite the distance between them, her body was still close to Y/N's. "We are stuck here until Snape comes"

Y/N hated small spaces, but she had no choice but to suck it up. There was no way she was going to let Bada know about her claustrophobia. She knew she'd never hear the end of it. Even now, as she squeezed herself into a tiny space, she could almost feel Bada's mocking gaze on her.

"So what's your favorite number"

"Don't even start"

Y/N sighed and looked away. "I'm trying to make this less boring," she said, trying to hide her frustration.

"Well, don't," Bada replied, her tone still cold. "You're making it worse."

"You're such a bitch," Y/N said and Bada only smirked in response.

"Im honored," Bada replied with a small curtsey, her sarcasm apparent.

"You look like an idiot"

"You are one"

"Jump off a cliff"

"You're such a sad case"

"You jerk"

"Snooty bitch"

The two girls' mouths never stopped throwing curses at each other. Y/N was so caught up in her anger that she didn't realize how close she now was to Bada.

Bada was feeling the same anger, even if she wasn't showing it. Her eyes were flashing with defiance as she continued to hurl invective at Y/N. They were both consumed by the moment, completely caught up in their emotions.

Suddenly, Bada stepped closer, pressing up against Y/N.

Y/N's eyes widened in surprise as she suddenly realized how close she was to Bada. She had been so caught up in the moment that she hadn't noticed their proximity until now. Despite her shock, she didn't move away.

Bada didn't notice how she had pinned Y/N against the wall. Despite her frustration, she found herself taking in every moment of Y/N's features. The full lips, sharp eyes, and plush hair - everything was so enticing.

They stood inches apart, pressed together by Bada's arms. She felt the heat rise to her cheeks as she remained transfixed by Y/N's beauty.

She didn't move, she didn't want to move

No words were spoken, but every look spoke a thousand emotions. Just a week ago, Y/N would've laughed at the idea of this position - trapped under the one she hated the most.

But now, she wasn't sure. Could she still call it hate?

"Bada..?" Bada felt her knees threatening to give out as Y/N's gaze settled on her.

Y/N's lips were slightly parted, her breath coming out in short, sharp inhales. Her eyes were wide, like those of a deer caught in the headlights, completely enthralled by her.

"Yeah.."

They were leaning closer, both wanting this so much to their own surprise. Their noses touched, and the air between them was suddenly alive with a tingling energy.

This is it, Y/N thought to herself, this is where she loses her sanity

She closed her eyes, trying to focus on slowing down her pounding heart. But it was useless; her heart continued to race, and every thought she tried to control went out the window as she gave in to her feelings.

Y/N's heart was racing as their lips brushed, but she couldn't contain her excitement for long. She almost whined at the older girl's teasing.

"What in the world are you two doing?"

Y/N and Bada quickly separated from each other when a piercing voice interrupted their moment. Bada's eyes darted to the potions professor who was glaring at them. Y/N stepped back in dismay, her face red with embarrassment.

This was going just great

Y/N gulped as her mind went blank. She had no idea what to say, and she hoped that the girl in front of her took the lead

She looked over at Bada who was avoiding her gaze. "We got stuck..." Bada said, trailing off. She seemed to be searching for words but had none to say.

"I can see that," the professor said slowly, his voice clipped and sharp. He took a few steps backward but continued to glare at them.

"I suggest you two leave," he added with a cold glance.

The professor didn't need to say any more. Y/N and Bada quickly exited the closet, their heads hung low in shame. Y/N grabbed her bag and took off, running away from the awkward situation. She didn't want to face Bada, and she had no idea what to say to her.

Y/N only wished that the next few days would pass without any mention of what had happened. She wanted to forget, to pretend that everything was the same as it was before.

But that might be a pipe dream, as her mind kept going back to that moment. And the thought of seeing Bada again made her heart flutter, reminding her that she couldn't ignore her new feelings so easily.

Bada was still sitting in class when the professor told her to wait. She was shaking, filled with anxiety and nerves. She knew that the professor wasn't dumb, and he must have known what was going on

"Miss Lee"

Bada snapped her attention to the professor who hadn't lost his stern glare. "Yes, Professor," she responded, making sure her voice didn't shake in fear.

The professor remained silent for a moment, his gaze piercing and critical. Finally, he said, "I hope you know that whatever you two were about to do isn't right"

Bada gulped, but she was determined not to back down. "We weren't doing anything, sir," she said, her voice shaky yet defiant. "The closet is small as you can see, so we had to squish in a little closer."

The professor's eyes narrowed, and he took a step towards her. "If you say so, Miss Lee." he said in a cold tone. "I only need to send an owl for your parents to be here."

Bada felt a chill run down her spine as she realized how vulnerable she was in this situation.

"Like I said," she repeated with an equally firm glare. "It was nothing."

"Good, you can leave now"

Bada didn't hesitate. She grabbed her bag and rushed out. Her fingers were shaking. Telling her parents? Hell no, she thought to herself.

She had already gone through hell and back at home, and she didn't need much more of that stress on her plate. Her parents would lose their minds if they found out that she almost kissed a girl. They would kill her

Kissing Y/N... She wasn't about to kiss her right...?

Bada's mind was racing with excuses to convince herself that what had happened between her and Y/N meant nothing. But every excuse fell flat.

She hated Y/N. Y/N hated her. That's how it always was... Even those excuses no longer made sense. She couldn't stop thinking about Y/N; she couldn't stop longing for Y/N's lips on hers again.

But was it hate that she felt all these years towards Y/N?

[phfenomena]

❝cowboy like me.❞ || William H. Bonney x Reader

A/N- i really loved this idea and i hope you do too!!!

William H. Bonney x Reader fluff

inspired by ‘cowboy like me’ by taylor swift

| WARNINGS - drinking, mentions of gun violence, kissing, mentions of burglary

the heat was blistering, almost as if you were walking down to the devils penthouse. you laid flat on the ground by your campfire. damn fires probably colder than i am you thought, but you needed the light. as you sat on a log carving a knife out of the bare wood you’d collected earlier, you hear a twig snap. your hand quickly pulls your pistol out of the holster and your hands settle in the direction of the sound. you cock it and tilt your head, straining your eyes trying to see.

“who’s there?” you barked through the silence. a sigh of relief? annoyance? or just plain desperation reached your ears.

“sorry, miss. i’m just out collecting fire wood for my buddies. i ain’t mean to disturb you.” a smooth and warm voice cut into the quiet and muggy air.

“come on out into the light.” you coaxed, gun still pointed. a tall and slender man, no, boy cautiously emerged from the dark wall of shadow. you scoff and set your pistol next to you on the log. “now, what is a kid doing out here?” you would’ve almost sounded annoyed if it wasn’t for the smile gracing your lips. the boy took his hat off to greet you, and nervously ran his fingers over the worn leather.

“i, uh, i’m not a kid, ma’am. i was just looking for firewood. my buddies and i set up camp a few hundred feet north, i didn’t mean to trample your site. my apologies.” he managed to stutter out.

you wave him off and point to the pile of wood to the left of your feet, cladded in red leather boots. “just take these, kid. i gathered them earlier. i won’t need the fire much longer, it’s too damn hot.” you exasperated the end and took your own hat off to fan yourself.

billy has never seen a woman like you. you were alone, first of all. the fire casted such a lovely warm glow across your complexion, his knees were getting unstable the longer the studied you. he took a few steps towards you and stuck a hand out, the other still holding onto his hat.

“i’m billy, miss. no need to call me kid, i’m probably not much younger than you.” he trailed off with a grin plastered across his face. you shook his hand, still sitting down. “it’s nice to meet you, billy. i’m y/n, and you don’t look a day over six and ten.” you teased him and he mirrored your smile.

“i’m not a kid in a lot of different attributes.” he smirked as you raise your eyebrows and you meet eyes. very blue. like very very blue. you can make out the constellations in his with just the light from the fire. he sure is a pretty boy.

you pat the log next to you “would you like a drink?” you hold out your flask of whiskey to him. the warm temperature of the liquid almost makes it easier to swallow. he nods and grabs the flask after sitting next to you. your fingers brush, it feels like pin pricks all across your hand.

after billy swallows he asks “so, what’s a lady like you doing out here alone? or are you not alone?” he has his elbows resting on his knees with his head facing you. his very presence makes you feel more warmth than any fire could ever give, you find it hard to care about the heat anymore.

you chuckle a little and turn back to the fire. “i am alone, i’m traveling a little farther west. couldn’t stay in el paso much longer, that sheriff hates my damn guts. he’d had hung me for the hell of it.” you finish your sentence with a swift from your flask. “what about you, billy? what are you and your buddies doing?” his gaze never even moved a centimeter away from your lips as you talk. his eyes rake up your face to your eyes. he smiles “we run cattle, sometimes. well i do it sometimes, they do it all the time. we’re heading to lincoln county for some business.” they run cattle, they’re definitely outlaws.

as you study his face a little more, you notice he’s familiar. “wait! i know you. you’re on all those wanted posters in el paso! what the hell did you do to get such a high bounty? i could only dream of having that high of a price on my head.” he hung his head and chuckled “just when i thought i met someone who didn’t already know me, i did a good thing. honestly. i broke my friend out of jail, had some issues along the way.” he did a good thing, that’s adorable. he’s an outlaw because he helped his friend.

your eyes soften at his short story and you tuck your hair behind your ears. “you sound like a good man. not like the stories i’ve heard. i once heard that you gunned down fifty different mean on six bullets. and all they say about me is ‘she should’ve been like her mother’” your mocking tone at the end made billy smile.

“i hate to tell you, but, i definitely didn’t do that and i am not as brave and murderous as they make me out to be. i’ve done a lot of bad things, but i’m trying to do good now. also your mother can’t be that bad, if she raised a lovely lady like you.” was he flirting? and we’re you liking it?

“she’s like a vile serpent.” you mutter as you take another swig. “now, correct me if i’m wrong. but i think i’ve seen you on one or two wanted posters yourself, y/n.” you shake your head and smile at him. you feel so warm and fuzzy. was it the whiskey or billy?

“oh, you’re not wrong. although i still uphold the belief that i was set up. some pals of mine were talking about robbing this corner store, when i got there to join them no one was there besides the sheriff! damn assholes set me up, and i didn’t even want to do it! i’m innocent in my eyes.” you gesture with your hands while you talk and billy’s just entranced. he nods, slowly. “that’s just the way things go sometimes.” he softly mutters while wanting to never look away from you again. “you can say that again, cowboy.”

billy couldn’t take it anymore. his blood felt like it was boiling. he leans over and softly pressed your lips together. shocked, you don’t kiss back for a second. terrified he just made a mistake, billy pulls back and frantically stands up. “i am so sorry, y/n. i don’t know why i did tha-“ you stand up and wrap your hands around his suspenders and pull him down for your lips to meet. rougher and slower than the last one.

his hands find purchase on your waist as he fiddles with the bottom of your vest. his knees were weak. they were jelly. “just shut up and kiss me, cowboy” you whispered against his lips. your hands snake into his hair and rake along his scalp. he pulls back and says

“you know, i think you’re a cowboy like me. but most cowboys don’t kiss me so i’d say you’re a bit better than most.” you laugh at his idiotic words and pull him back in as the fire slowly dies, barley casting an amber glow. no skeletons in either of your closets could fuck this up.

[thechekhov]

Dungeon Meshi Quick Reacts: CH38

Rip to these promising mages. I assume they will not survive this massacre.

IS that where her lungs and kidneys are? Because like. She's huge. Her entire body is behind her. Do you really think she'd keep her vital organs in the little human bulb on the front?

I mean, he has a point. What are you going to do? Fight off more hoardes of dragons?

oh noooo, Kabru.... too bad. That's so unfortunate.... anyway.

It's curious that Laios only got knocked away. He was just as likely to have had his head squished like a grape.

Guys, this is absolutely not the time to be concerned for her privacy.

Yes, queen. Free the tiddy. Murder everyone in this dungeon. I support women's rights and women's wrongs.

.......that's. One way to do that. I guess.

.......what's that rock about.

Oh, I see. That's convenient.

This guy dungeons! Maybe he even dragons.

So we got north (tallmen? dwarves?) and then the easterners.... and now the elves of the west?

He's going to give her to the Americans?! ಠ_ಠ

To be fair, at least they HAD a plan. And they executed it. It's more than you did. I don't mean to point fingers but... at least they... ya know... did something.

Kabru's like 'no, no, hang on, I need to hear what batshit fucked up thing this dude is going to say next, this is important'

Laios is so stressed he broke character.

Then again, maybe it's healthy to let them slug it out a bit. Get it out of their system.

It's true. They wore fitbits and everything.

...hey, hold on a second.

Now hold on a minute.

Damn, this is. Kind of even worse because. I guess I could have guessed that Toshi was just pretending to be polite, like you do. Cultural differences.

But the painful thing is, Laios doesn't seem surprised. He just seems resigned. He's been told before that he's difficult to get along with. To the extent that he doesn't even consider Marcille and Chillchuck his friends? Even though they arguably both care about him? But because Toshiro didn't bother to be deadpan about him being a bit odd at times, Laios thought it meant that was fine.

And that kinda hurts. Like damn. Laios just wanted to make a true connection. And I can't really blame Toshiro either, he was just trying to keep the peace but. Damn.

Free her! Let her do her illegal magics! She deserves it! （︶^︶）

Thoughts:

Senshi just being annoyed about that one last harpy looking for scraps.... like "shoo, this ain't the time"

That gnome seems genuinely nice. I'm sorry Falin squished his pet undyne.

Kabru hugging his..... mage? Girlfriend???? Seems very...one sided. Kinda feel bad for her.

Laios and Toshiro still going at it, I see. Get it allout, boys.

Uhhhhhhhhhh ninja girls.

Aww, doggo.

Last question: Where did the cat go?

Senshi: I can fix that.

Are you all worried because he's finally making sense?!?!

Laios and he punched their singular braincells into several new ones, it seems.

F./....Falin... please give the caterpillar some privacy........

My man, maybe lead with that............

I can't believe Marcille was potentially more forward about her feelings.......

"his pupils are dilated" yes, thank you sherlock. You've finally realized what everyone else who meets Laios feels almost immediately. he's a monster freak club card carrying member. Welcome.

p.....pubby......

As long as he was also inside the dungeon with them.... yes.

The issue with Kabru isn't that he isn't trying his best. It's that Laios isn't trying at all.

On a scale of one to Kabru, how badly do you react to being offered a food you don't want to eat?

......oh no. He's so pathetic it's funny. He's growing on me.

Absolute morons, the pair of them. Immovable object meets unstoppable force. The funniest combination ever. Ghost type and normal type pokemon, forever throwing moves at each other that will never hit. Laios thinking he's made a friend. Kabru just barely stopping himself from killing Laios. Best comedy pair. Tom and Jerry in a can.

Anyway. What a great manga.

[archonsabyss]

Wriothesley Royal Au (Manhwa Edition) where he's the feared / renounced cold Duke of the North, hired by the King to bodyguard you (the semi-neglected royal), ONLY no one actually knows he's the Duke of the North hence they assume he's just an ordinary mercenary (the best of the best)

The king is Manhwa stereotypical, mistreats you only to have a hidden protective motive that it's for your safety. The King may be a King, but he's stripped of his power, a puppet caught in the web of the corrupted (Nobles & His Mistress)

Wriothesley has a cold front but is really just a very chilled dude with unmatchable skills, mis interpreted, and cautious. So he finds himself heart and mind centered in the Palace which he's despised all his life, protecting you, the person he was originally going to kidnap only to have the greatest idea of marrying you just to piss off your damned step brother' and his best friend who is weirdly obsessed with you (in a very scarily annoying way)

Yet, instead, he finds himself hiding his identity and playing the role of your bodyguard. Falling in love First and falling hard, following your every step like a lost puppy with murderous skills of a merciless killer :D

Imagine all the little soft fluffy moments the build up of this relationship could give us! All the tension! All the hot jealous and possessive (in a non toxic way)! Because in my head wrioth is a red flag to everyone BUT you ❤️🥹

[esther-dot]

oh and I hope you don't mind (we can share my mood) 11k by @thkingslayer

“You make presumptions, your highness.” “I do not. I know how unwanted I am by you, Lady Sansa.” Her mouth opens as she struggles to find the words to tell him it isn’t true. She’s a lady. She would be nice if he would. She just wants— She just wants— -- When the king travels north, Sansa takes an immediate liking to Prince Aegon. She does not, however, want anything to do with her cousin Prince Jon—the brooding, dark haired, younger brother. She's quite sure he does not want anything to do with her also. And by the Old Gods and the New, she will not let him ruin her mood.

Dawn 19k

Like her mother before her, Sansa will do her duty. She will marry a man who is practically a stranger, mere days before he sets off for war.

All That Glitters 3k by @rumaan

Sansa is annoyed she has to give up a day with Prince Aegon to show his boring younger brother around Winterfell. Some alone time with Prince Jon makes her re-evaluate her opinion.

Sapphires and Salt 9k by @wendynerdwrites

The Princess to be is jilted, the unwanted prince rises

Salty Teens one, two, three by @blackholeofprocrastination

Sansa bursts into his solar in a swirl of skirts, her precious courtesies forgotten. Jon remains seated behind his desk, earning a scowl from his lady wife.  “What did you say to Jeyne?” she demands. “Nothing.”  It’s not entirely true, but he is still too furious to be cowed in his own damn solar.

Learning to fight, learning to Dance 1k by @myrish-lace-love

Lyanna Stark survives, and Jon and Aegon are half-brothers. Jon is in a hastily arranged marriage with Sansa Stark. They get on each other's nerves constantly during the day, but their nights are a different matter.

What a Disappointment 7k by @justadram

Sansa Stark and Jon Targaryen are married and neither of them is pleased about it. Set in a world where Rhaegar lives and Jon was raised in King's Landing as a legitimized bastard.

lights still shining in the room, you left me here 11k

Perhaps at one point, her marriage to Jon had become less of a sham. But with a history of three dead children between them, even the strongest of unions would break, let alone one as fragile as theirs. When Sansa tries to save herself, her actions lead to some interesting revelations.

Made New 3k

Sansa does not get the wedding night that she longed for and has to fix it

Tell the Ones That Need to know (We Are Headed North) 10k by @vixleonard

After years of confinement in the Red Keep with Ned prisoner in the black cells, the Dragon Queen comes. With the knowledge that Jon Snow is actually a Targaryen, she agrees to let the Starks return to Winterfell only if Jon marries one of the Stark daughters. Sansa volunteers so they can all go home. Soon she figures out being married to Jon isn't bad but it is complicated.

half a kingdom and a princess 2k by @misshoneywheeler

“Guess you’re stuck with me, old girl.” Old girl. He’s never called her that before. He’s never called her anything but Sansa and my lady, or sometimes Lady Stark, a title that gives them both discomfort as Lady Stark is still Sansa’s mother to each of them. Something in Sansa thrills at the strange endearment, though she should – and may – protest at being called such a thing. There’s just something so familiar in the words, in Jon’s soft affection as he says them. Something intimate and real.

A Convenient Inconvenience 4k

Once Daenerys takes the Iron Throne she knows the battle is only half over. Now that she has the throne she must keep it. Since she cannot have heirs of her own she names her new half-brother, the former Jon Snow, now Jon Targaryen, the Crown Prince. And a prince needs a princess which is where Sansa Stark comes in. The pair marry yet it takes months for Jon to realize that Sansa thinks of their relationship as more than just a duty.

PRE CANON - WESTERN - FAIRYTALE - REGENCY - LITTLE WOMEN - HOLIDAY - SEASON SIX - ANNE OF GREEN GABLES - THE GIRL IN GREY - FREE CITIES - FAIRYTALE PART II - POLITICAL MARRIAGE - POST CANON

[jaunty-skeletons]

moshang except they’re married and not Terrified of each other’s and their own emotions, so they keep things interesting by competing to see who can essentially run the north more quickly and effectively.

mobei jun has a war to fight? dutiful shang qinghua has already deescalated it;

qinghua has paperwork to do? mobei has hidden it inside of his own robes (yes he started cheating first);

there’s a problem with a local town’s water supply? the king and consort are both speed walking to see whether ice powers or logistics can unblock the river faster;

the annoying banquet for the mobei family gathering is over in three hours, the finances for ciang qiong are signed off by a demon lord (bai zhan and wan jian are pleased about the new budget), there are crops no one has even heard of growing in an ice desert and for some reason tianlang-jun is keeping the king of the east in check??

the northern kingdom has never prospered so well despite its weather conditions and the inhabitants are all confused as fuck. it’s probably that damn human’s fault. freak. (…?)

[melonteee]

Just saw someone’s wacko take on Whole Cake Island and I want to see your thoughts, as I get everyone had their own opinions but damn theirs made me baffled

Basically they said that Sanji being forced into marriage was completely unnecessary and was Oda’s terrible attempt to “fix” Sanji after the time skip. That we didn’t need to see how good of a person Sanji is as that was something already seen pre timeskip but was completely ruined post apparently

They then also claimed that Sanji’s blood family has no point of existing, and they questioned why he needed more story when his original backstory was enough. They claimed that this was a terrible attempt by Oda to make Sanji seem as broken as possible to apparently excuse his gross behaviour post time skip

They said that Sanji’s family being emotionless monsters shouldn’t mean anything to Sanji as he’s a pirate and faces cruel people all the time, they don’t think it added anything to his character. They believe Oda only did this to get people to like Sanji again after apparently assassinating his character post time skip

They also brought up Pudding being 16 (which we don’t know is true or not) and how that makes Sanji seem more gross and Oda gross by extension

Again I believe everyone can have their opinions, but when an opinion is as jaw droopingly awful as this it makes me want to slam my head against a wall, it’s also annoying that they’ve turned off comments to prevent any discussion really showing how stubborn they are on this

Anyway I wanted to see your thoughts as you are the no.1 Sanji fan

Sighssssss I cannot stand this "Oda wanted to 'fix' Sanji" idea these people have, because that just tells me...they literally do not pay attention to Sanji at all.

As always, yes, Sanji has pervy gags. Yes, he was a bit much in Fishman Island SPECIFICALLY, but he IS the same character.

Fishman Island showed his fierce care and love for Nami as a CREWMATE by telling Jinbe what the fuck Arlong did to her, because he was LITERALLY there for Arlong's defeat and nearly died with the others fighting for Nami! He spoke up for Nami as FAMILY and that means a LOT to her.

Punk Hazard showed his kindness towards Kinemon and the kids by helping Kinemon - a dangerous stranger - and helping the kids per Nami's request.

Dressrosa showed Sanji's kindness is so valued due to Viola breaking down and feeling safe with him, to the point she told him the truth about Dressrosa and Doflamingo.

Zou showed JUST how kind Sanji is by helping save an ENTIRE island, Pedro valuing his kindness SO MUCH he risked his life to help get Sanji back to his crew.

Sanji has never needed fixing, what Sanji NEEDED was an explanation for why the fuck he was a kid by himself on a sailing ship. He NEEDED an explanation for HOW he could be a kid from the north but somehow be in the east. He NEEDED an explanation for why he was so self sacrificing to the point he thought of giving his life - not just for Zeff, but for ANYONE - seemed like the best choice to him.

Yes, it wouldn't be a question if it was just for Zeff and the Baratie. But it wasn't just for Zeff, he also did it for Usopp, for Luffy, for Nami, for Zoro, for Robin. Sanji's self sacrificing nature was ROOTED in him, and we had no idea from WHERE.

In fact, his self worth was so little, he asked a LITERAL ADULT why he was being nice to him - when he was a KID! And as I said in my Sanji video, WHAT kid asks why an adult is treating them nicely? NO other kid in One Piece has asked an adult that, because they're kids!

The fact it was suspected Sanji's family were powerful from YEARS ago, due to the fact his face wasn't on posters, AND Duval was being endlessly chased after, AND Sanji was from the north, AND his blood type was rare, says plenty enough that it was TOTALLY necessary.

Sanji literally finds his worth in other people, and again, that didn't stem from Zeff! Zeff treasured Sanji to the point Zeff used his HANDS on him, so WHERE does this self-hating nature come from with Sanji?

And we get it! We get it with his WCI story! We see the depths of his soul, the peaks of his kindness, and just how extreme the HATRED for himself is. He didn't even think Luffy WANTED him because his self worth is THAT low.

But, most importantly, we see JUST how strong Sanji is due to STAYING kind - even WITH everything he's gone through. WCI is about SANJI'S strength of character, through and through, and calling that unnecessary is just INSANE to me. Again, it just tells me these people do not like Sanji at all, to the point they didn't pay much attention to him. Because of COURSE when you don't look behind you, but then someone appears in front of you, you're gonna go "?? now where did THAT come from??"

But literally anyone who pays attention to Sanji expected to find out about his family and his origins, because the seeds were there!

Overall, if you want the deep dive for why it was necessary? My Sanji video explains it all :]

[bellaxgiornata]

Who wants a Covid special of my internal dialogues with the boys? I've missed writing them so I needed to give them a little love this morning. I'm also attempting to get that part of my brain working again to prove I haven't entirely lost my writing ability this week because that would be tragic. As always, it's below the cut.

Matt: Put orange juice on the list.

Mikey, raising a brow questioningly at Matt: She has almost two bottles in the fridge already...d'ya really think she needs a third?

Matt: Yes. Put it on the list. And more Tylenol.

Frank, leaning on the kitchen counter: Think she's been cravin' spaghetti so I'm gonna make some.

Matt: Pretty sure her family is dropping off a Thanksgiving meal tonight. She doesn't need you to cook, Frank.

Frank: Fine, then I'll make it for her tomorrow night, altar boy. Point still stands, I'm making her some damn spaghetti soon. With garlic bread, too, because that's the only way her son will eat it.

Mikey: That’s a good idea actually, she hasn't been wantin' to eat lately. Maybe we should make her more things she's been cravin' to get some food in her.

Frank: And maybe we should put somethin' in her diffuser to make her finally go to sleep.

Bella, on the couch: I can hear you three from over here, you know.

Frank, calling across the room: Good, go to sleep. Stop thinkin' about that damn Christmas story you have half written for Red here.

Mikey: He's right, ya need your rest, pet. Ya were awake in bed last night for two hours just thinkin' 'bout that story.

Bella, sheepishly: ...I blame Covid. But I was also thinking about your Christmas fic, too, Mikey.

Mikey: Ya need to rest, love. Worry 'bout the stories later.

Bella, pouting: But I miss you all.

Matt, making his way to the couch and sitting down: We haven't gone anywhere, sweetheart. We're all still here, just waiting for you to get better.

Bella, muttering: Fine, but I still miss you all.

Matt: Is there anything else you want at the store? Mangoes?

Frank: I doubt you're gonna find some good mangoes this far north at this time of the year, Red.

Matt, glaring over his shoulder at Frank: Watch. Me.

Mikey, annoyed: Alrigh', enough bickerin' the both o' ya. Is there anythin' else ya want from the store, pet?

Bella, sitting up: Yes.

Matt, leaning closer: What do you want, sweetheart?

Bella, grabbing Matt by the collar and pulling him closer: For the love of God, please bring me back some vanilla moose track ice cream. I beg of you. I can't stop thinking about it.

Matt: That--that might be a bit cold for your sore throat right now.

Bella: It's incentive for me to get better, Matty.

Frank, calling across the room: It's on the list, darlin'. Don't you worry. Now you cuddle with your cat and get some rest, we'll take care of the groceries.

Matt: I'll send Mittens over to cuddle, too. He misses you.

Bella, wide-eyed: You're going to let me cuddle with Mittens?

Matt, grinning: Whatever gets you to go to sleep. Go rest already, he's on his way over. Then when we get back you can drink more orange juice.

Mikey, muttering: Always with the damn orange juice.

Matt, annoyed: Because it helps!

[222voyce]

-apology for being inactive- astro observation 🥹

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆5 ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

🌸Sagittarius suns are pretty great at music. No lie. and they tend to be the most cultured. (Nikki Minaj) I feel tho any mutable sign can be creative— not saying everyone else can’t be— they are just analytic, dreamy, dramatic, great writers.

🌸Aquarius are the type to do things no one else does— and they are pretty known for it.

🌸Cancer moons/risings talk to themselves. Yea. We do. What about it? Water placements in general tend to talk/mutter to themselves

🌸Lol why do aqua women love aqua men soooo much? Also for what I’ve noticed they love foreign races. lol it’s cute but y’all feral.

🌸Cancer moon/rising/ water dominant considers everyone’s feelings and really don’t want to disappoint. They have a hard time saying no only because they don’t want to hurt your feelings or seem unreliable. It’s okay to say no, just tell them. If they react badly then don’t do anything for them anymore. Please set boundaries!!

🌸Virgo Venus’ like to look at every flaw and will find something to get mad or icked out about. They tend to want their partner to change but they can’t handle it when someone tells them *politely* to stop something. It can be anything. They will scream hypocrisy. They are also hypocrites themselves. Sorry if this was biased. It is.

🌸Scorpio risings… hmm I’ve never really met one? Like they’re rare. My god dad is one .. I think lol. They’re pretty hard to pin down. If I did meet one idk if Id know.

🌸Okay Taurus venus’ have that taste that’s just so— ngh!~~. Candle lit bath? Roses on the bed??! They also aren’t into rushing into things. That will turn them off. Take it slooowwww

🌸Libra mars men— they don’t know man. They are just as bad as libra suns. Cant make up their mind. They will talk to different people and tell everyone the same thing. Huge flirts. But they get anxious easily.

🌸Leo mars— AHHHH sorry. They make my libra ass go crazy, Leo suns too. Omg they— their energy is so🫶🏾🥴🥴🫦🫦 like bro?! WHY ARE YOU SO DAMN SEXY?! I WILL C*M ON THE FLOOR RN!! *cough* sorry.

🌸Virgo risings are smart as fuck. Virgo suns too. My baby cousin is literally 3 and can speak in FULL sentences?! Virgos minds are just so great. Maybe it’s because Virgo is ruled my Mercury.

🌸Pisces suns are neat. They are dreamy and love to imagine things. They get caught up in the idea but they are also very…real? My ex was very analytical and observant. He could tell what I was thinking sometimes.. like it was freaky. Cute people tho. Nice faces. (I won’t ever say this irl but I’m big simps for y’all.)

🌸12h Saturn might have an issue with routine which makes them have a self esteem issue. They also tend to have a hard time keeping up with their mind. It’s truly fight between head an heart. If they don’t have great coping mechanisms, they might resort to drugs and alcohol.

🌸11h North Node is sooo UNDERRATED!! I have this and I barely see anything on it. Like it’s literally our DESTINY to follow our dreams and love how we want!! Like bro?! But we were also outcasts or casted out by friends or families. Bullied often— we are also here to learn that we don’t need validation from anyone else but ourselves!!

🌸4h suns. Let’s all sing kumbya and find inner piece within ourselves. Family is exhausting. And it feels like we do everything for everyone *huggggeee cough* we do. But it’s gunna be okay!! I hope…

🌸heheh being a Scorpio venus is fun but so fucking annoying because yes we’re hot but we don’t want anyone to perceive us and we can barely ask out our crush. We just stare at them from across the room like 👁🫦👁. We wild and ride or dies tho.

Thank you so much for reading!! like I said, sorry for being inactive!! I will have your pac readings up tomorrow!!

[cevansbrat0007]

Brat Games

Summary: Full story! It’s all fun and games when you find yourself in the mood to embrace your inner brat. Andy Barber x Bratty Reader

Warnings: Smut, Shenanigans, Bratty Reader, Grumpy Andy, Daddy Kink, Spanking, Sex Toys, Sexual Themes, Cursing, Minors DNI

A/N: Well, I finally managed to finish this story! I hope it's okay. Please let me know what you think. Part of my ongoing Part of my ongoing Growing Pains Series. Likes, Comments, and Reblogs are appreciated. Semi-proofread. All mistakes are my own.

___

You’d woken up this morning in a mood. But not just any kind of mood. You wanted to play. Too bad the man you were playing with didn’t know that you two were in the middle of a game. Oh, well. You were sure he would figure it out. 

Eventually.

___

Your fun begins innocently enough. 

You lean back in your seat, your stomach threatening to burst if you tried to eat even one more bite of your stuffed brioche french toast. Brunch at the North Street Grille never disappointed, that was for sure. 

Sighing, you take a look around the restaurant hoping to catch sight of your boyfriend. He’d stepped outside to take a call from the office roughly ten minutes ago and still hadn’t returned. It was annoying, yes. But his prolonged absence also gave you an idea. 

You were about to do something that was going to irritate the hell out of your man. Something that he had never let you do in all your months of dating. 

Take care of the check. 

“Still enjoying everything, ma’am?” Your waitress asks as she walks by your table. “Or would you like me to get you a box?”

“I’m finished, thanks. But I think my boyfriend might need one.” Casting a brief glance over your shoulder, you reach into your bag to pull out your debit card. “Could I go ahead and pay real quick? He never lets me get the bill so…” You shrug and offer her a conspiratorial wink.

That’s right. You were gonna pay for your meal, his old-fashioned objections be damned. 

“No problem. Be right back with your card and that box.” The young woman hustles away before returning a few moments later with the necessary items. After thanking her and signing the receipt, you slide your card back into your purse. Just in time for Andy to rejoin you at the table. 

“Everything alright?” You chirp before taking a sip of your now lukewarm cappuccino. 

“It’s fine.” Andy scrubs one big hand over his neatly trimmed beard. “More than fine, actually. That was Ahmed calling. He thinks we’ve got enough cause to petition for the judge in this case for a recusal, which is great fucking news.” 

“Oh, well, yay! I guess.” While you didn’t know the specifics, if he was happy, then you were happy. 

“Trust me. That ignorant fuck, Baxter, has no business on the bench.” Your man takes a bite of his bacon. “Mm…thanks for grabbing me a to-go box, little love. I’ll pay and then we can get out of here. But I will need to stop by the office for a bit before we get on with our day.”

“Sounds like you need to work.” You flash him an easy smile as you begin to gather your things and stand up. “How about you just drop me off at home? Or, come to think of it, I can walk back.”

“Not happening, baby girl.” Andy stands up too, tossing his used napkin on the table. He takes a moment to stretch his arms above his head, his sinewy muscles bunching and flexing beneath his maroon colored shirt. “I won’t be long. I just need to grab a couple files.”  

“Andy Bear, it’s only like a fifteen minute walk from here to my place. I do it all the time.” You swing your purse strap over your shoulder. “Really. It sounds like you need to concentrate. And I’d probably just be in the way…”

Your Big Man pins you with a hard look, letting you know that he disagrees with this entire conversation. It was no secret that your man wanted you with him practically all of the time. He was even bugging you to move in with him. Not that you were complaining.

“Yeah, not gonna happen. Let me go pay for this and –” Andy looks down at the receipt in his hand, finally noticing your handwriting scrawled across the signature line. “What did you do?”

“My treat, handsome.” Rising on your tiptoes you plant a chaste kiss on his cheek. “Don’t forget your box.” With that, you turn and scamper out the front door. 

“Damn it, Y/N!” You don’t have to look over your shoulder to know your unhappy Andy Bear is hot on your heels. Cursing your short legs, you speed walk all the way to his Audi. Which, of course, just happens to be parked at the far end of the freaking lot.

You feel Andy’s hand grip the waistband of your jean shorts, tugging you backwards and into his side. “Why would you –?  We’ve been over this, baby girl.” Andy growls, his tone rife with displeasure. “When I take you out, I pay.” He uses his big body to box you in, pressing you against the passenger door of his SUV. “That’s how this works between you and I.” 

You were pretty sure that you were the only person to ever willingly pick an argument with Andrew Barber outside of a courtroom. If he were being honest, it was part of what made you so attractive to him. 

“But Andy Bear,” you pout. “You never let me pay for anything. It’s time for you to step into the twenty-first century a little, honey. You can be so old fashioned sometimes.” 

“So?” He grunts, raising one dark brow.

“So…I’m just trying to get you to bend the rules a tiny, tiny bit.”

“No.” His rebuttal is sharp even as his soft lips go to graze the shell of your ear. “I don’t care what century we live in, princess. I’m a man who believes in taking care of his woman. Which means that I pay. Understand?”

Instead of responding you choose to stick your tongue out at him. Which then prompts him to lightly grip your chin, forcing you to meet his intoxicating gaze.

“When Daddy asks you a question he expects an answer.” 

“Yes, okay.” You whisper as the pad of his thumb delicately traces the curve of your bottom lip. “But I also think you’re just mad that I beat you to the punch, Big Man.” You give this thumb a playful nip. 

“Oh, I am. Try that shit with me again and I’ll take your debit card and keep it in my wallet for the rest of the day. Now get your pretty self in the car, baby, before I decide to bend you over the hood and redden that tempting ass just enough to make sitting a hardship.”

Frowning, you allow him to open your door and assist you into the passenger seat. And then he makes a show of handing you his food before buckling you in. 

You were a strong, independent woman who was perfectly capable of dealing with her own seatbelt. So why did it make your core spasm whenever he took charge like that? You needed to have a conversation with your inner feminist stat. 

“Thank you.” Your man huffs as he shuts the door before walking around to the driver’s side. “Such a little brat first thing in the morning.”

___

Two hours later…

Andy bristles in the seat next to you as you do your best to tamp down a fit of giggles. While he’d kept his promise to make his trip to the office a short one, he wasn’t very happy with you at the moment.

And not because you had snuck and paid for brunch. Oh no. He’d gotten over that one. Mostly. 

“Put your shirt back on, Y/N.” He grits out as he tightens his grip on the steering wheel. “Now, please.”

“But I’m hot!” You whine. “It’s, like, 92° outside and I’m practically melting. Look at me!” You tell him, dramatically fanning yourself with your periwinkle-colored blouse. To be honest, you weren’t sure what his problem was. Afterall, it wasn’t like you were walking around naked. You were still rocking your navy blue cami, complete with a black push-up bra layered underneath. 

“I can see the outline of your fucking nipples. And if I can, then so could Ahmed. Poor man practically choked on his tongue the moment we walked in.” He hisses under his breath. 

“It’s a natural reaction to the A/C, Andrew. And how was all your co-worker’s stammering and stuttering my fault?” You ask as you lean back in your seat, unconsciously drawing his attention to your cleavage. “It’s not like he hasn’t met me before.”

“Yeah, but it’s the first time you’ve come in with the girls on display like that. Between them and that ass in those tight little shorts…” Your man trails off as he stares hungrily at your pouting nipples, nearly veering into the other lane. 

Yeah, you knew you were slowly driving him nuts. You just didn’t care.

“I’m gonna need you to cover my tits before we hit the grocery store, baby girl. I don’t want or need a bunch of slack-jawed fuckers staring at what’s mine.” The gleam in his lets you know that your Big Man is far from joking.

“Who says it’s yours?”

“The fuck?” His head whips towards you as he swings the car into an empty parking space.

“What?” You innocently bat your lashes at him. “Last time I checked, this was my body, which means that I am the keeper of this temple, boo.”

Andy’s bright blue eyes zero in on your mouth as his own lip curls in some semblance of a snarl. 

“Now, that’s where you’re wrong, little love. Your body is my fucking temple.” One big hand goes to grip the back of your neck, applying just enough pressure to let you know that he means business. “And I worship at its altar every goddamn day.”

“Oh.” Your breath hitches in your throat.

“I don’t know why you seem so intent on pushing my buttons today; I really don’t. But I feel the need to make something very, very clear here.” He takes a deep breath as he fights to maintain control. “Just because it’s my job to uphold the law doesn’t mean I won’t toss you in the backseat, splay those sweet thighs wide, and feast on that disrespectful cunt until you remember your place.” Andy possessively nuzzles the crook of your neck, his sharp teeth nipping and sucking at the tender flesh.

“Now, are you gonna be good and put your shirt back on for me? Or do you want everyone in this parking lot to hear how fucking pretty you sound when you cum on my tongue?” He growls,  the scruff of his beard softly scraping against your cheek.

Your eyes flit to the back of the car as you process his words. Your handsome District Attorney was never one to bluff. Wordlessly, you shrug your blouse back onto your shoulders and quickly fasten the buttons. 

“Good girl.” He purrs, watching through heavily lidded eyes as you stubbornly leave the top three undone. “Tell you what. If you’re still hot when we get back to my place, you have my permission to prance around naked for as long as you want.”

“Al-alright.” You mumble, unconsciously rubbing your thighs together as you try your best to quell the ache forming between them.

You win this round, Andrew Barber.

___

Your trip to the store to grab the items you need to make grilled steak fajitas is largely uneventful. After your discussion in the car, you’re tempted to remain on your best behavior. 

And you do. For the most part. Until you decide to wander away from your boyfriend while he’s busy searching for your precious queso fresco. Because you would be damned before you settled for something like basic shredded cheddar cheese. 

Oh no. According to Andrew Barber, you were just born to be difficult.

Since he’s otherwise occupied, you make your way over to the produce aisle to grab a pineapple. And maybe a little extra attention if you could swing it.

“Excuse me…hi.” Waving, you stop someone who looks to be a manager as he’s in the process of replenishing apples. 

“Hello, Miss. How, uh…” The dark haired man goes to adjust his glasses as his eyes stray to your chest. “How can I help you?”

“I’m looking for something…sweet to enjoy with my dinner tonight.”

He nods along, looking just the teensiest bit flustered. Smiling, you reach over to pick up a cantaloupe, followed by a honeydew melon. Holding one in each hand, you raise them so that they’re level with his bordering on inappropriate gaze.

“And since I haven’t ever been to this particular Wegmen’s before, I’m a little curious about your…melons. I - I’m afraid I’m not very good when it comes to picking out fruit.” You have to bite the inside of your cheek to keep from laughing.

This whole thing definitely had cheesy porno intro written all over it.

“Okay.” By now the man’s face is tinged with red. And if you’re not mistaken, he’s also starting to sweat.  

“Do these seem…firm enough to you?” 

“I, uh, I think so, Miss.” He coughs, nervously fidgeting with his tie as he watches you give them an enthusiastic squeeze. “They look…great.”

“Yeah? They do seem nice and plump.” You pretend to study them as if weighing your options. Good lord you were probably going to hell for fucking with this poor man, but the train was in motion and it couldn’t be helped. “You think they’re a good size? I’m looking for maximum enjoyment, you know?”

“Well, if I’m being honest, those, um - they look like the perfect handful.” His crooked grin lets you know that he likes where this conversation is heading. “But I’d be happy to show you some of the new produce we’ve got in the back.”

Woah, buddy. Pump those brakes!

“That’s very kind of you, but–” 

“Y/N - there you are!” You jump at the sound of your name. “Been looking all over for you, baby.” Turning to face him, you do your best to appear as innocent as possible.

“Hiya, Andy Bear. This kind gentleman was just giving me his opinion on my melons. See?” You do a little shimmy. “Think they’re ripe enough?” 

Honest to God, you cannot remember the last time you saw your man’s face turn so many pretty colors. Mostly shades of red, but boy is it a sight to behold. 

“Jesus Christ, woman.” He rasps, his expression one of pure exasperation as he takes the fruit from you before handing it off to the worker at your side. “Sorry, but we won’t be needing these.”

“But…” 

“We’re leaving.” Andy’s gruff, no nonsense tone is enough to make you pout as he holds his hand out to you. “Now.”

“But I wanted to grab some pineapple for you to throw on the grill with the steaks.” You explain as you begin inching towards the display. “By the way, did you know that some experts say men should consider drinking pineapple juice before they go to bed…for the health benefits?” You watch as that one vein along his temple begins to throb spectacularly. “I can tell you that article definitely left a sweet taste in my mouth, that’s for sure.” 

Oops. Too much? 

Your question is answered for you when you feel Andrew’s big body suddenly looming over you. “Why do you keep trying to provoke me, sweetheart?” His nimble fingers go to brush a flyaway curl off the back of your neck, eliciting a shiver. “Hm?”

“I - I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about, Andy Bear.” You feel a hand sink into the back pocket of your shorts before painfully squeezing your ass. “Ow!” 

“Last warning, little girl...” He does it again, ignoring the way you rise on your toes with a whimper. “Knock it the fuck off. Now put that shit in the cart and let’s go.”  

You resume pouting, but manage to do as he asks. Quietly hating the fact that you can’t do anything about the sting in your poor bottom because you’re out in public.

Overgrown, handsome ass sourpuss. 

Andy keeps a solid grip on your waist the entire time you’re in the checkout line, only letting up when you two are loading things onto the conveyor belt. Handing you his card, he tells you to go ahead and pay while he runs off to the bathroom. 

So you do. With your debit card. But instead of going for immediate gratification this time, you take the receipt and wrap it around the black card he had initially given you. You had no idea when he would notice, but you knew that he would one of these days. And when he did…

Well, you’d deal with it. 

But until then, you decide to keep the game going by pushing the cart outside and loading up the car. Sometimes it was so unbelievably easy to mess with your man. It really didn’t take much with Andrew Barber, especially where you were concerned.  

___

The ride back to your place is mostly quiet. Well, Andy talks. But you’re not able to respond because you’re too busy sucking on one of those fucking jawbreakers he keeps in the center console for moments when you’ve been…acting up. 

Funny enough, he’d actually noticed your little switcheroo with the cards earlier than you’d expected. But only after he’d found you sitting in the driver’s seat of his car with the windows down and the A/C on full blast. At least you’d left your shirt on this time. 

See? Progress. 

Yeah, not to him. That was another rule of his. He always drove. And on the rare occasions when you were the one to pick him up, he pumped your gas. Rain or shine. When it came down to it, you really were a lucky girl. 

And you knew it.

But that didn’t mean that you couldn’t get a little sassy with him now and again – which is exactly what you'd done when he’d snarled at you to get your little ass over to the other side before he tore it up. Which explained why you were currently sulking with a mouthful of hard candy.  

And, to top it off, he had to drop you at your spot after all because he had to head back into the office. Looks like things were moving quickly all of a sudden, and he was apparently due in court first thing in the morning. Talk about a bummer. 

You’re still not done with the fucking thing when he finally pulls up in front of your home. With a sigh, Andy puts the car in park before climbing out of his seat and jogging over to your side to assist you. 

“Hm. Still pouting, huh?” Andy murmurs, chuckling when you don’t reply. Besides, you were only following instructions. You attempt to swerve him when he leans in for a kiss, turning your head so that his lips brush your cheek.

“Hey. Don’t be like that, baby girl.” Wrapping his arms around your middle, he pulls you flush against his hard body. And although you try to resist, it’s difficult to put up much of a fight when he smells so damned good. 

“Hmph.” You grunt, even as you bury your face against the fabric of his shirt. 

“I’m sorry, but it looks like I really do have to work. We’ll pick things up tomorrow.” One of his big hands begins lightly rubbing your back. “Including discussing whatever's got you acting like such a brat today. Understand?”

You nod, slipping a territorial hand beneath his shirt. 

“Thank you. And in the meantime, Daddy is going to Venmo you the amount of whatever it was you spent today. Plus a little extra so you can order yourself something for dinner tonight since we’re pushing off the fajitas until tomorrow.” He pulls back so that he can look into your eyes. “You gonna be my good girl and accept it without giving me a hard time?“

Again you nod, trying not to get lost in those big, beautiful orbs.    

“Wonderful.” His head dips to capture your lips for a brief kiss. “I’ll call you tonight after I’ve taken care of what I need to prepare for court and you’ve had time to adjust that little attitude.” 

He takes another kiss, right as you finally finish with that damned jawbreaker. This time he gently swipes his tongue across your bottom lip, before claiming your mouth for his own. He groans softly, reveling in your sweet taste as his hands go to your ass, tugging you closer. 

“Okay, Daddy.” You whisper, feeling a touch lightheaded when you finally break apart. “I’ll talk to you tonight.”

“Count on it.” Andy playfully tugs on a curl that’s escaped your bun. “Now go on inside, okay? And be sure to lock the door behind you too.”

“Bye.” You steal another kiss.  

“Goodbye, baby girl. Talk to you tonight.”

___

True to his word, your Andy Bear sends you your money back and then some. You’re tempted to return it, but instead you decide to use it to buy the ingredients for your famous lemon pound cake – made from scratch. 

The secret? A package of instant lemon pudding and a couple teaspoons of lemon zest.

And by the time he manages to FaceTime you that evening your mood has certainly shifted. You spend much of your thirty-minute call talking and teasing one another before signing off for the night with a little dance to the tune of T-shirt & Panties by Adrina Moore.

Yeah, Andrew Barber loved the hell out of you. Even when you spent the day being a little fucking brat. Which was understandably a good thing.

Especially since you weren’t done.

__

The next morning…

Knowing that your boyfriend would be busy with court proceedings for most of the day, you quietly let yourself into his house. After getting your things settled, you change into something into one of the two outfits you’d brought along to aid you in this particular bout of shenanigans. Namely, some brand new lingerie. 

Giggling, you disappear down the hall in the direction of his study. Once inside, you take your time putting together the compact tripod for your mobile phone before adjusting your camera and lighting. 

Deep down, you knew that you should probably quit while you were ahead. But, in all honesty, where was the fun in that? 

Having previously settled on several classy poses thanks to a little practice last night, it doesn’t take you long to capture what you need. And you managed to successfully take them all without falling on your head.

Once your man got through bitching and moaning about your being naughty, you were sure that he would come to appreciate your efforts. At least, that’s what you kept telling yourself. 

You normally felt bad about interrupting him in court, unless it was an emergency. But today you would force yourself to ignore those feelings in favor of shenanigans.

Biting your lip, you open up your message thread to fire off a good morning text. You kick things off simply enough, writing: Good morning, Daddy. I’m just over here waiting patiently for you to bring home a victory today. 

And then you hit send, which leads to the following exchange:

After slipping in the dreaded b-word to your conversation, you decide to put your phone on silent. While it was true that your boyfriend often claimed to be man things to you, being your buddy wasn't one of them. And it annoyed the crap out of him whenever you referred to him as such. 

As you go about tidying up, you consider making use of the toy you knew was tucked away upstairs in the nightstand by the bed. While it would definitely do you good to relieve some of that ache between your thighs, you would force yourself to be patient. 

However…

That doesn’t stop you from heading up there anyway, under the pretense of dropping off your overnight bag. And then wouldn’t you know it? 

The damned thing somehow makes its way out of the drawer and into your mouth. Ugh! And to make matters worse, you accidentally manage to snap a photo of yourself sucking on it, right as you hollow-out your cheeks.

What a damned shame!

Talk about a true comedy of errors. It’s so funny that you end up giggling uncontrollably for the next ten minutes. But you know what makes it even better? The moment your thumb slips and hits send.   

After that, it becomes downright hysterical. 

___

Later that afternoon…

Letting out a yawn, you lean back in your chair and stretch before deciding to call it a day. You’d just spent the last several hours going back and forth with a client about a project that was supposed to be in its final stages.

As in almost fucking finished.

But they’d since decided to shelve half of the damned concept before pivoting and heading in a different direction. Which was fine, so long as they were willing to pay. 

Pressing the heels palms over your eyes you reason that you've done enough. You really did love your job. But sometimes it could also be unbelievably taxing. 

Powering down your laptop, you decide to go ahead and ice the pound cake that is currently cooling on the counter. While you’re at it, you go ahead and prepare everything you need for the fajitas as well. Since the steaks were already doing their thing in the marinade you’d thrown together earlier, there really wasn’t much left for you to do outside of slicing vegetables. 

Once that’s done, it only takes you a few minutes to whip up the simple glaze. After all, it was just powdered sugar, condensed milk, lemon juice, and a dash of vanilla extract. Whisk together until smooth and then bam! 

Sweet and sticky deliciousness in a bowl. 

You’re in the process of slowly drizzling it over top of the cake when you hear Andy walk through the front door. Moments later, he strides into the kitchen clutching a box under his arm.

“Hey there, Andy Bear!” You chirp as you go to set the bowl in the sink before rinsing your hands and drying them on a towel. Earlier mischief forgotten, you launch yourself into his waiting arms. “I missed you!”

“Did you?” He asks, tilting his head. “That's interesting.” 

“What do you mean?” Confused, you place your hands on either side of his face, trying to pull him in for a kiss. But instead of cooperating, he sets you back on your feet with a sigh. 

“Don’t worry about it, baby girl." Andy sweetly boops your nose before removing his suit jacket. "Honestly, it’s my fault for not taking care of it yesterday when I had the chance.”

“Huh? I’m afraid you’ve lost me.” Rising on your tiptoes you offer up your lips again, only to pout when he denies you. Again.

What the hell? And what was in that box on the table.

“Just let me go and get changed and then I’ll deal with everything.” Shaking his head, your man lets out a dark chuckle as he turns towards the stairs. “Including you.” And then he’s gone, disappearing around the corner in the direction of his bedroom. 

Oh shit.

Your stomach drops as every single bratty act you’ve committed over the last thirty-or-so hours suddenly comes flooding back. You really should’ve gone home to wash your hair or something like you'd said you would. Not that that would’ve helped you any. 

The man knew where you lived. And he had a fucking key!

Feeling a little on edge, you head for the hallway, stopping at the bottom of the stairs. “I baked you a cake, baby!” You call out. “Want me to cut you a piece?”

“I’ll be down in a moment!” He responds. “Why don’t you go open your present, hm?”

Rocking on your heels for a second, you decide to go back to the kitchen, wondering what the hell he possibly could have bought you. And then you remove the lid. 

Okay, well, so far it appeared to be nothing more than an overabundance of pink tissue paper.

You’re just about to reach inside when you hear Andy return to the room. “Go on. Dive in.” You jump when one of his brawny arms snakes its way around your waist, as his soft lips delicately caress the sensitive skin just behind your ear.

“Wh-what is it?” 

“Aw. You really want me to spoil the surprise?” He presses a kiss to your temple. “I don’t think so, baby girl.”  

Your pulse spikes as you tear at the thin sheets to reveal...a pair of lacy black panties. 

“Keep going.” Andy urges as his talented fingers slide beneath your shirt to rest on your abdomen. “There’s more.”

Next you find a black device that looks suspiciously like a remote, followed by an oddly shaped vibrator, and a pink paddle with the words “for bad girls only” emblazoned on the front.

“Well, don’t leave me in suspense, sweetheart.” He brushes aside your curls so that he can rest his bearded chin on your shoulder. “What do you think?”

“I don’t think I quite understand.” You mutter as you dangle the skimpy scrap of fabric from your index finger.

“Well, in that case, allow me to explain.” Andy gives you another kiss, this time on the back of your neck. “See, since you love playing games so much, Daddy took some time out of his very busy schedule to go out and buy you a few things so that we could play together. Isn’t that nice?”

“Uh huh.” You breathe as your traitorous core spasms. “Wait.” Licking your dry lips, you try to turn in his arms, but his grip remains steadfast. 

“Oh no.” He murmurs before picking up the paddle and pressing it to your chest. “I’m ready to play now.” The gruffness in his tone has your panties positively soaked. “So here’s what we’re gonna do. Are you listening to me, sweetheart?”

You nod quietly, suddenly having a tough time getting a full breath of air into your lungs. 

“You're going to kick things off by stripping for me. And then you’re going to bend over the edge of the table and offer up that gorgeous ass.”

“But I -” You’re interrupted by a hand fisting itself in your hair, jerking your head back with just enough force to make you whimper. 

“I don’t want to hear another goddamned word out of that sexy little mouth.” Andy growls, licking the curve of your cheek. “Not one, unless I grant you explicit permission to do so. Understand?”

You nod again as a delicious shiver courses through you. 

“Good. Now strip. You have thirty seconds, baby.” He then steps to the side so that you can quickly go about removing your clothes, starting with your shirt. With shaking hands you work to unfasten your bra before letting it drop to the ground - baring your breasts to your man’s hungry gaze. 

Next up are your thin cotton shorts, followed by your underwear. But instead of allowing them to join the pile, Andy holds out his hand to you. Giving them over to him, you watch as he slowly brings damp cotton to his nose, inhaling your sweet, earthy scent. A strangled groan escapes his throat as he repeats the action. Once. Twice. 

“You smell like heaven.” He hums, the gravely purr rumbling in his chest. 

Finally naked, you lower yourself across the table, letting out a tiny shudder as your nipples make contact with the cool surface.

“Good girl.” Andy praises as his large, slightly calloused palm settles on the small of your back. “Now, we can continue with the game.” He steps around you to pick up the vibrator and panties that are laying on the table, just out of reach. 

“As you probably already guessed, this toy very similar to the one we keep upstairs. Except there are a couple key differences. The first one being that it’s controlled by that little handheld remote right there.” He places the device in question into his pocket, a hint of a mocking grin flitting across his lips. “Yeah, that part’s meant for Daddy.”

And then he continues on, purposely ignoring the way you keep rubbing your thighs together. 

“As for the second special thing…you see these? These are magnetic wings that lock together with this piece right here, turning these into one hell of a good time.” 

Oh good God. He was talking about vibrating panties.

"Doesn't that sound fun, little girl?" Your man's all-too enthusiastic response elicits another whimper from you, followed by a whine as he slowly begins dragging the fabric up your legs and over your ass.

You do your best to focus on your breathing when he gently adjusts the vibrator, making sure the toy is securely nestled against your swollen, needy clit.

Once he’s done, he then cups a possessive hand over your mons. “Who’s pussy is this?” He rasps, as his voice borders on something feral. “You can speak.”

“Y-yours.” You respond with a shaky whisper.

“Damn right it is. And who do you belong to? Who's the rightful keeper of this beautiful little body?" He grinds heel of his palm against your cunt, enjoying the sweet sounds you make. "Wanna hear you say my name, baby.”

“You-ooh! I belong to you, D-daddy.” 

“Good girl.” Andy purrs. “Proud of you for answering correctly.” 

“Ooh!" Without warning, you feel the toy suddenly come to life, sending low, even vibrations pulsing through your vulnerable core all the way down to your toes. “Oh, fuck - god, Andy!” Your eyes fall shut as the power increases.

“Did I also mention that this thing is equipped with twelve different settings?" Oh fuck! "I mean, the box did promise hours of fun. So, I think it’s only fair that we give it a good test drive. Maybe even leave a review.”

“Ungh!” You cry out as he ratchets up the speed once more. "Daddy, please!"

Andy ignores your cries as he silently debates whether or not he ought to gag you

“Glad you agree, baby girl. Tell you what, I’ll be nice and let you keep playing with your new toy during your spanking. In fact, you even have my permission to cum.”

“Fuck!” You dance on your toes as the sensations threaten to overwhelm you. “Too much!” 

“It is not.” Andy scoffs, issuing a sharp slap to your upturned ass, courtesy of your brand new paddle. “Knock it the fuck off before I really give you something to whine about.” And then he chuckles before adding. “Oh, wait. That’s exactly what I’m about to do, isn’t it?” 

The paddle cracks across your ass again, forcing you to bear down on the toy as your empty walls clench around nothing. 

Your orgasm was so close, but what worried you was that you knew he was only just getting started.

“And when we’re through with this part of the game, I’ll help you with the fajitas.”

Crack! Crack! Crack!

“Ow, Daddy!” You hiss at the sting - which only serves to intensify the pleasure pulsing through your poor, soon-to-be overworked pussy. “Damn!”

“Mm. Swear, you look so pretty like this.” He delivers the next blow before turning up the vibrations another notch. “In fact, I think we’ll keep playing through dinner. What do you say?”

“Argh! Fucking bastard!” You wail as you stomp your foot, which only earns you an underhanded slap to your cunt.

Crack! 

“Okay, have it your way, sweet girl. Daddy will check in with you after dessert.”

END

[justagalwhowrites]

Holly Jolly - Ch. 1: Jolly Old St. Nicholas

Joel takes Sarah to meet Santa and meets an overly friendly stranger in line. Chapter one of Holly Jolly, a modern no-outbreak AU TLOU fic.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: None really!

Length: 2.6k

AO3 | Main Master List | Next Chapter

Joel Miller had never been big on Christmas. 

When he was a kid, it lost the magic pretty damn early. When your parents are just scraping by and are too proud to ask for help, the truth about Santa hits pretty young. From then on, it was just a constant reminder of what he didn’t have. Didn’t have parents who were willing to try to keep the magic alive for him and his brother, didn’t have a mother for his daughter, didn’t have a job that let him take time off to spend at home with her during the holidays. 

This year, it was the fact that he didn’t have the money to pull off Christmas at all. At least, not that he could figure out. 

“Daddy, look!” Sarah tugged on his fingers that were held tight in her sticky grip as they got in line, a sign that said “North Pole” over their heads. “Elves!” 

“Yes, Baby Girl,” he smiled down at her even though he didn’t much feel like it. “Elves, they’re here to make sure you’re a good girl while we wait in line.” 

“I’ll be good!” She said, first to him and then to a woman in peppermint striped leggings and a green felt dress. “I’ll be so good, I’ve been so good this year!” 

“I bet you have been!” The woman smiled before going back to counting people in line, ending with Joel and Sarah. He checked is watch - the band barely hanging on by a thread and the cheap plastic of the face chipped - and let out a small sigh of relief. They’d just made it, the mall closing in half an hour and the Santa line cut off time coming even sooner. 

“Wait!” There was a loud voice from behind him as the elf woman started roping off the line. He turned to see a woman who couldn’t be any older than him running toward the line, a girl about Sarah’s age on her hip. You all but skidded to a stop at the rope, the elf woman still holding the end of it. “Please, I’m so sorry, I got held up at work and it was just crazy tonight, can we still get in? We’ll be so quick, she’s so excited and I’ll buy the biggest photo package you have I promise.” 

The elf looked around and then lifted the rope. 

“Don’t tell anyone,” she smiled and gave the little girl a wink. “But only because you have been so good this year.” 

The little girl gasped as you set her down. 

“Aunt Cocoa, how did she know?” 

“Because she’s an elf,” you said, taking her hand. “Of course she knows!” 

Joel tried to not glare at you. You were wearing leggings that were covered in gingerbread men with a sweater that was the definition of an ugly Christmas sweater, green with tinsel and ornaments and lights hanging off it, a headband with antlers in your hair. He ground his teeth. 

Of course, it wasn’t your fault that it was only a week and a half to Christmas and he’d gotten fuck all done. And it wasn’t your fault that the only emotional energy Joel had was going to go toward making sure his daughter had a good night, not placating some childish woman. But damn, it sure seemed like you’d been dropped in front of him just to annoy him, the personification of all the forced cheerfulness that came with the holiday season right where he didn’t want it to be. 

“Aunt Cocoa!” The little girl by your side piped up. “Do you hear? It’s Rudolph!” 

You turned an ear toward the ceiling and smiled. 

“It IS Rudolph!” You said. “Now remind me, who is Rudolph again?” 

“He’s a reindeer!” Sarah piped up from her place at Joel’s side. He almost groaned. 

“Is he really?” You smiled down at her. “Who’s reindeer is he, do you think?” 

“Santa’s!” Sarah and the little girl you were with said at the same time and their faces lit up before they dissolved into giggles. 

“Hi!” Sarah smiled hugely, a gap where her front baby tooth had been just a few days earlier. “I’m Sarah!” 

“I’m Sharon!” The girl with you smiled back, also missing a tooth. “I’m five, how old are you?” 

“I’m five, too!” Sarah gaped at her, as though finding another child her age in line to see Santa was a miracle. “What school do you go to?” 

And just like that, they were off, chattering away in rapid fire, high pitched, little kid speak. You smiled at Joel, almost absently smoothing Sharon’s hair down, more like a parent would do than an aunt. 

“Hi,” you smiled at him as the kids babbled away to each other. Joel was pretty sure he heard the word Barbie from Sarah at the same time you gave your name. 

He frowned. 

“Thought your name was Cocoa.” 

“Oh,” you laughed. “Yeah, when Sharon was little - well, littler - I’d pick her up for girls’ day and the first stop was always Starbucks where I’d get a latte and she’d get a hot cocoa so I turned into Aunt Cocoa.” 

“Right…” Joel moved forward in line. 

“And what’s your name, Sarah’s… adult person?” You asked, smiling a little too broadly. There was glitter on your eyelids. Glitter. 

“I’m her Dad,” Joel said. “And I’m Joel.” 

“Good to meet you, Joel,” you just kept smiling. 

He was silent for probably too long before he realized he should probably respond. 

“You too.” 

Your smile fell a little but was still there and Joel turned to face forward again, Sarah still happily chattering to Sharon. 

The line, at least, was moving quickly and, as much as your syrupy tone and ridiculous outfit grated on him, Sarah’s patience for the line was far greater because Sharon was there for her to talk to. 

“So,” you were still smiling. How could someone smile that fucking long? Didn’t your face hurt? “These two seem to be getting on like a house on fire.” 

“Yup,” Joel said. The family in front of him stepped forward and Joel did, too. 

“Want to exchange numbers?” You asked. Joel raised his eyebrows at you and you stammered quickly. “I mean… you know, to try to get them together? Get some of that holiday energy out?” 

“If you want to give me her mom’s number,” Joel said, not especially wanting you to have his. 

You glanced down quickly at Sharon but she was laughing at something. Sarah laughed, too. 

“Well, I can’t…” you flinched a little. It was the first time he’d seen you not smiling like a maniac. “I’m kind of… Sharon lives with me?” 

You said it more like a question than a statement. 

“Right,” Joel said slowly. 

“So we could just trade numbers,” you smiled again. “Maybe the girls can go to a playground or something over the weekend?” 

The line moved again. 

“Sure,” Joel sighed, getting his phone out of his pocket and unlocking it. He passed it to you and you took it, adding your number. 

“Just going to text myself…” you said absently and then handed Joel’s phone back, the message still pulled up. You’d just typed “Santa Joel” with a little heart emoji after it. Joel was still looking at the screen when two messages from you showed up. One was a selfie - one you’d clearly taken another time, no glitter eyelids or antlers in sight - and the other just your name, followed by a heart emoji. 

“Smile!” You said and he looked up from his phone to see you taking a picture of him. He frowned and your face fell a little bit. “You know, for the contact picture?” 

“Right.” 

He looked down at his phone again. When you weren’t dressed like Christmas had thrown up, you were… pretty. Really pretty. Beautiful, actually, with soft eyes and a gentle smile. You looked like the kind of person people just wanted to talk to. Just the kind of person Joel didn’t need in his life.

The line advanced and Joel moved up. 

“Excited for Christmas?” You asked after the two of you had been silent for another few minutes and had moved forward more. 

Joel glanced down, making sure Sarah was still distracted. Sharon had pulled a small notebook out of her coat pocket and Sarah was looking over her shoulder, carefully reviewing the mass of stickers on the page. 

“Sure,” Joel said, not about to say how he actually felt about it with Sarah this close by. He looked you up and down. “Looks like you’re ready for it.” 

“Oh,” you laughed a little, looking down at the ridiculous sweater. “Yeah, I guess so! Anything you’re excited for?” 

The line moved. Joel could see the leg of the tripod the camera was set up on now, at least. 

“The food, I guess,” Joel said, even though that wasn’t really true, either. He usually got some cookie dough from the store so Sarah could decorate and Tommy had volunteered to host Christmas dinner that year but Joel was almost positive that it was going to be a damn disaster. His little brother could barely make mac and cheese, he didn’t see a full feast going well. 

“So good, right?” You said. “I love…” 

“Look,” Joel said, glancing down at the girls again. “Sure you… mean well and all but we’re getting close to the front of the line and I’d rather just stand here for the next five minutes, alright?” 

“Oh,” your face fell a bit. “Right, I’m sorry, I… right. Sorry.” 

You looked off to the side and Joel faced forward again. 

He almost felt bad for it as they neared the front of the line, but then he heard you humming along with the stupid Christmas song playing on the speakers overhead and he stopped. 

“OK!” The elf woman smiled down at Sarah. “Are you all ready to see Santa?” 

“Yeah!” Sarah beamed up at her. 

“Well that’s good, because you’re next!” She said, looking around the corner toward Santa. “Alright, looks like he’s already for you! Let’s go!” 

She lifted the velvet rope and Joel nudged Sarah forward, her face lighting up when she saw the fat, bearded man on his throne. She ran over to him and clambered on his lap. 

“I’ve been so good this year!” She said before Santa even got a chance to say hello. He laughed and helped her up. 

“I’m sure you have been,” he said. “And what’s your name? 

“Sarah!” She smiled her patchwork smile and Joel smiled, too. “I’m five, almost five and a half!” 

“That half is very important,” Santa nodded sagely. “And what do you want for Christmas this year, Sarah?” 

“A Barbie Dream House!” She said. “And a new Barbie and Ken to live there!” 

Santa glanced up at Joel who was trying to not freak out. A fucking Barbie Dream House? That couldn’t be cheap. Money had been tight since he’d bought the house a few months earlier. 

It was the worst house he could find in the best school district and he was still house poor as a result of the fucking thing. And, of course, after he closed one of his jobs fell through, so him and Sarah had gotten by on now maxed out credit cards for two months since buying the damn house had wiped out his savings. 

He’d just gotten paid for the most recent job the day before, a sharp relief when he deposited the check. He’d been down to $17.87 in his checking account, happy that there’d been a sale on some canned shit a few weeks earlier so the pantry was at least somewhat stocked. How the fuck was he going to afford a Barbie Dream House? 

Santa looked back at Sarah. 

“We’ll just see what we can do about that,” Santa said kindly. “Do you think you can keep being a good girl for me?” 

She nodded eagerly. 

“Then I’m sure you’ll have a very happy Christmas,” he said. “Why don’t you look at that camera, we’ll take a picture together.” 

Sarah sat up straight and smiled so big her eyes scrunched shut and the camera flashed. She jumped down and Sarah took his hand as they went to the booth to buy the pictures. 

“He was so nice!” Sarah said. “And he smelled kind of like the apple pie we had on Thanksgiving and I think he knows that I’ve been real good, Dad.” 

“He was nice,” Joel said, looking at the screen with the picture of Sarah on Santa’s lap and then the price list. “And I’m sure he knows how good you’ve been…” 

How was it $25 for a print out of a picture and a frame made out of fucking card stock? The whole damn season was a racket. 

“Just package A,” Joel said to the man dressed like an elf, pulling out his wallet and handing over his debit card. 

“Do you think he can make a Dream House?” She asked, holding onto his fingers. “How do the elves make all those toys, anyway?” 

“Well, they work real hard…” 

“I’m sorry sir, but your card was declined,” the elf man held Joel’s debit card out to him. “Do you have another card?” 

Joel’s chest got tight. 

“Can you try it again?” He said. 

“Already did,” the man said. “Twice more. It’s declined.” 

“Just…” Joel pulled his phone out. “One sec.” 

He opened his banking app and looked at his account. The check he’d deposited at the end of the day yesterday was there but still pending, funds not yet available. Fuck. 

He only had two credit cards, both of them were maxed out. He opened his wallet, hoping he had a $10 bill he’d forgotten about, then he could do $10 cash and the other $15 on the card… and nothing. Joel took the card back and put it in his wallet. 

“Do y’all keep the photos for a few days?” Joel asked. “I can come back tomorrow…” 

You were suddenly there in the doorway, Sharon in front of you. 

“No, I’m sorry sir,” the man said. “We wipe all the memory cards at the end of the day.” 

Joel took a look at the screen, at Sarah’s giant smile, trying to remember it. 

“Right,” Joel said, squeezing Sarah’s little hand. “Thanks, anyway.” 

Sarah, at least, didn’t seem to even notice, even though Joel wasn’t sure the last time he felt so fucking low. He couldn’t even afford to buy his daughter’s Santa picture, how the fuck was he supposed to make Christmas happen? With a Barbie Dream House no less?

“Joel!” Your voice was loud behind him and he turned to see you running toward him, a plastic bag printed with holly and candy canes held out in front of you, Sharon trailing behind. He frowned as you stopped in front of him, panting for breath. “Sorry, I’ve done more running today than I have all year! Anyway, this is for you.” 

You held the bag out and Joel’s frown deepened, taking it and looking inside. It was Sarah’s Santa picture in the stupid card stock frame and an ornament, the same picture encased in plastic. 

“It was a great picture,” you smiled. “You should have a copy.” 

“I’m not lookin’ for charity.” 

“Oh,” your face fell a little. “I wasn’t… It’s not… Just pay it forward when you can, OK? Merry Christmas.” 

You didn’t wait for him to respond, just taking Sharon’s hand and walking away. 

Next Chapter

[slocumjoe]

What do you think the companions opinions of ghosts and supernatural things are?

You know, I've actually done this before, years back!

Looking back on it now, I have some differing ideas, having spent more time really thinking these dudes over and writing about them. So,

COMPANIONS AND SPIRITUALITY 2; ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

Cait; Surprises herself when she realizes this, but she believes in God. Not just agnostic, she believes in the Christian God. It never occurred to her until one day, when she caught herself and realizes that this was the belief she held. Her parents weren't religious, so it didn't make any damn sense to her. She just sorta defaulted to it. Obviously, Cait is not religious, but yeah, she kinda assumed a Christian mindset. Just never cared. Once she catches herself, becomes staunch atheist, but that shift was sudden and kind of wobbly. Its a "Wait, what do I actually believe in?" moment. As for cryptids, no. Maybe ones before the war. But as for the post apocalypse, anything is possible, so, why bother with trying to make it all mysterious?

Curie; Avid hater of cryptids and Aliens, but fascinated by religion. You ask her for her opinions on the topic, and she'll break off into a sociological discussion of the nature of religion and faith, and what's she's noticed in the apocalyptic modern era. You ask her if she believes in religion, and you can see her eyes go all blue screen of death, Ms. Nanny body or no. For one, the Ms. Nanny programming would never allow her to form an opinion on that. For two, the programming also kind of held everything in place. In a synth form, where her brain is looking for her own answer, but her instinct/programming remnant is looking for coded-in pre-recorded responses...it's a good way to send her into a kind of crisis. The move from metal to meat doesn’t do her any favors, here.

Danse; A loose agnostic. He sees no need to argue about it, but he doesn't believe, but he also doesn't...disagree? Danse's stance here is "we'll never know so what's the point." He tried religion, and he'll pray in...dire circumstances...but if you ask, he'll call himself an atheist. He'll also go into the sociology and go all nerd on you, but where Curie almost physically can't have an opinion, Danse doesn't have one and doesn't feel the need for one. If he needs God to be real, he'll hope for it. Otherwise, nah.

Deacon; would fuck with Buddhism. Would be that annoying dude at the Whole Foods check out buying hummus who holds the cashier at obligation-point to talk about karma. Normally this would be a Deaconism, an inside joke. Not here. This is a genuine Deacon. He'd also be very interested in all religions, but Buddhism is the one he's most likely to consider, if not partake in. Aliens and cryptids? Uh...Deacon likes to have fun, so yeah, but he's probably not a hardcore believer. He's just being a silly goose. Will double down and go full tinfoil hat to be obnoxious, but doesn't really put stock in it.

Gage; nah and nah. He was raised catholic and it didn't take. Or, maybe it took too well, or in the wrong way, depending on your perspective. He still privately considers Sunday to be special, but he doesn't act on it. Cryptids, also nah. Same reason as Cait. Have you seen what radiation does to animals? To people? Why the fuck would anything be surprising? "There was a giant moth the size of a man on my house!" Shit, that means the runoff from the nuclear power plant from up north has reached the watering holes. "I saw a large, hairy man!" That was probably Gage himself. Fuck sake. "There was a man with a goat head!" Thats a Pack member, which is arguably worse than what you think you saw.

Hancock; Religious in the traumatized way. The begging for God to kill you if you deserve to die but nothing happens, so clearly death is too good for you, kind of religious. Hancock has mental breakdowns in churchs, screaming at the remains of the cross in the middle of the burnt pews. Hancock is religous when thematically appropriate and suitably unhinged. Cryptids, he likes the fun of it, but seriously, if Hancock starts mentioning God and crucifixion, you need to check on him.

MacCready; Hardcore no on the religion, hardcore yes on the cryptids. This man would have Bigfoot bumper stickers. He would be on the reddit threads. I don't even know what to write here. Do I need to justify? You know. You know MacCready is a Bigfoot truther. Aliens? Don't talk to Bob about aliens. He'll hold you hostage in a story about the time he went camping up in [insert North Eastern Forest Here] and definitely saw [insert North Eastern Alien of Cultural Importance Here]. This man would go ghost busting.

Nick; religious, but like, very low key about it. He's not a praying man, but he does think the Big Man Upstairs exists. Mostly because there's so many times in his life where he's certain someone is laughing at him, and whatever dumb situation he's gotten himself into now. Does go to church every so often, and steps lighter in the ruins he finds. Aliens? Nope. Cryptids? Nope. Ghosts? Yeah, absolutely. He doesn't buy into those haunted house attractions, but he believes in the afterlife, and that some folks might get lost on their way there.

Piper; no religion. No aliens. No cryptids. Hard facts or fuck off. At least, thats what she says. But the moment something rattles in the basement at 2 in the morning? Piper is superstitious. She doesn't believe, but she's not gonna play chicken with demonic possession or alien abduction. Now, she has some ghost stories, but she doesn't think they're ghost stories. "Yeah, turned out the person I'd been talking to was legally dead for 30 years. Kinda weird." "Piper." "Say its a ghost and I'm throwing my drink at you. Who doesn't fake their death every once in a while?"

Preston; raised religious but didn't take. It's not that he believes in ghosts, it's that Preston has a good head on his shoulders. This man Knows when Something Is Wrong. Preston might not have the highest PER, but he knows when to get the fuck out of somewhere. Aliens, cryptids, whatever. Preston doesn't even know if ghosts are real. He just knows that some places don't forget what happened to them. If you're ever in a weird location, use him as a "back in the car right fucking now" meter.

X6-88; no religion, aliens, or cryptids, whatever. However. Very prone to believing tall tales. Myths. Legends. Mothman? Genuinely thought that was just a species of moth. He thinks they're bullshit, provided the info is being provided with air of literalness. If you open with "yeah, there's this story of a giant half man, half moth creature," he knows its a story. If you go, "There's a giant moth from Virginia that eats people", that's just what moths are like. Why would he assume there isn't a carnivorous moth? Gets very, very upset whenever someone pulls one over on him like this. By someone, I mean Deacon. Its always Deacon.