#not a real theory

[an-architect-of-words]

Ink cap mushrooms are toxic if you drink alcohol within 3 days of eating them. And, with no other evidence, that’s what I choose to believe was Charles’s “mysterious illness” in the hospital. Henry just couldn’t give up on the epic mushroom murder twist.

That’s why, when they went to visit Charles, Henry was like, “… I think he should have more liquor, everyone!”

[wild-grinders]

The Big Sleep...Over

or in other words, the episode that featured the enigma that is Stubford's mother

she's basically treated as some sort of demonic myth/entity, the episode even using a 'say bloody mary x3 in the mirror' reference, instead you say "stubford's mom" x5

no one has ever seen her, but she is literally the one responsible for stubford'a existence (and everyone is aware of stubford being a worse bowser jr)

in the eyes of her son and husband, she is someone to be obeyed and listened to, and to be kept inside the mansion

anyways, the entire point of the episode is basically trying to find out who she looks like in the flesh

we (the viewer) can clearly see her shadow figure and throughout the episode, there are other hints to what she could look like

from what we have:

she's implied to be long-haired and blond, lean, young, but a hint of maturity judging by her use of nail polish, wears heels, and barely resembles any of stubford's traits

but she likes oddball things; cold tater tots in mayonaise, some sort of late night pickle chip snack, and fancy opera costumes, and insists on being called mama

the entire city has this image of her to be a blood-curdling hideous woman, but she's actually not?? (please omit any white woman jumpscare jokes for this)

she's certainly not your average, tired mother like, stubford's mother has more of a real-life barbie doll appearance

her face never gets revealed in the episode but heres the sweet ending to it

[tofangirlornottofangirl]

time to put this out there bc this is never going to be more relevant than now but I've been thinking about shoko's ct (I know it's been said multiple times that she doesn't have one but hear me out). what if her ct has something to do with death or afterlife directly, so aside from just being good at rct that's why she's so good at healing (bc life-> reverse of death)

[hajimedics]

I'M NOT YOUR DOLL AND I'LL THINK FOR MYSELF AND I'LL LIVE FOR MYSELF

[the-briny-bulletin]

Cryptid fish that has only been seen once and never again that may or may not exist but well never know my beloved

[drchucktingle]

Hey Dr. Tingle, I understand where you're coming from, it sucks that people are so irony-poisoned that they don't understand that your work comes from a place of true passion.

But I am wondering - are your book premises meant to be taken entirely seriously? Because I always thought that the titles and images, while not *bad*, where meant to be read with a sort of lighthearted comedy, like the titles you pick and the contrastive style of your art seems like intentionally sort of amusing in tone and rhythm? Is that correct, or completely off base? Because I do feel like that's where people get primed to read more of a joke into some of these things than maybe was intended, and I think that it's true for the people who do take the writing seriously that they find the context a little amusing, also, and I don't know if that's on or off the intended track from your perspective.

Hope that makes sense! I don't want to come across as rude or anything

yes my books premises are meant to be taken entirely seriously.

i would say tinglers fall into genre of magical realism and erotica. i do not think of them as comedy although i understand that many, if not THE VAST MAJORITY of buckaroos see them that way. that said i often lean into comedy or have funny moments throughout, but honestly that is the way of almost ALL stories. funny things happen in every genre, but that does not make all stories comedy.

to my trot, what defines something as COMEDY is intent. the goal of comedy is to make you laugh. my main goal with tinglers in NOT to make you laugh, so i do not consider them comedy.

HOWEVER it is important to keep in mind that i am not the expert on my art just because i made it. if a buckaroo laughs at tinglers they are not wrong. it is just as much their art as it is mine, and my interpretation is not the END ALL BE ALL. just because i made a piece of art does not mean i know it better than you do, or that my opinion on it is more valid.

tinglers can be whatever you want, and i am not hurt or offended if you laugh at them. that difference in perception is whats so beautiful and powerful about art.

i think a good way to look at what i do is this: i am an absurdist PHILOSOPHICALLY, but absurdism is so often associated with comedy that sometimes buckaroos who do not know about the philosophy can think they are the same thing. something being absurd does not automatically mean it is meant to be funny. my art is also joyful, and i think joy and humor can also be confused sometimes.

all that is to say, laugh all you want buckaroo. you prove love is real in your own unique way

[mostlysignssomeportents]

The real problem with anonymity

I'm on tour with my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me in TUCSON (Mar 9-10), then San Francisco (Mar 13), Anaheim, and more!

According to "the greater internet fuckwad theory," the ills of the internet can be traced to anonymity:

Normal Person + Anonymity + Audience = Total Fuckwad

https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/greater-internet-fuckwad-theory

This isn't merely wrong, it's dangerously wrong. The idea that forcing people to identify themselves online will improve discourse is demonstrably untrue. Facebook famously adopted its "real names" policy because Mark Zuckerberg claimed to believe that "Having two identities for yourself is an example of a lack of integrity":

https://www.zephoria.org/thoughts/archives/2010/05/14/facebook-and-radical-transparency-a-rant.html

In service to this claimed belief, Zuckerberg kicked off the "nym wars," turning himself into the sole arbiter of what each person's true name was, with predictably tragicomic consequences:

https://www.kalzumeus.com/2010/06/17/falsehoods-programmers-believe-about-names/

Facebook is, famously, one of the internet's most polluted reservoirs of toxic interpersonal conduct. That's not despite the fact that people have to use their "real" names to participate there, but because of it. After all, the people who are most vulnerable to bullying and harassment are the ones who choose pseudonyms or anonymity so that they can speak freely. Forcing people to use their "real names" means that the most powerful bullies speak with impunity, and their victims are faced with the choice of retreat or being targeted offline.

This can be a matter of life and death. Cambodian dictator Hun Sen uses Facebook's real names policy to force dissidents to unmask themselves, which exposes them to arbitrary detention, torture, and extrajudicial killing. For members of the Cambodian diaspora, the choice is to unmask themselves or expose their family back home to retaliation:

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/meghara/facebook-cambodia-democracy

Some of the biggest internet fuckwads I've ever met – and I've met some big ones! – were utterly unashamed about using their real names. Some of the nicest people I know online have never told me their offline names. Greater internet fuckwad theory is just plain wrong.

But that doesn't mean that anonymity is totally harmless. There is a category of person who reliably uses a certain, specific kind of anonymity to do vicious things that inflicts serious harm on whole swathes of people: corporate bullies.

Take Tinyletter. Tinyletter is a beloved newsletter app that was created to help people who just wanted to talk to others, without a thought to going viral or getting rich. It was sold to Mailchimp, which was sold to Intuit, who killed it:

https://www.theverge.com/24085737/tinyletter-mailchimp-shut-down-email-newsletters

Tinyletter was a perfect little gem of a service. It cost almost nothing to run, and made an enormous number of peoples' lives better every day. Shutting it down was an act of corporate depravity by some faceless Intuit manager who woke up one day and said "Fuck all those people. Just fuck them."

No one knows who that person was. That person will never have to look those people in the eyes – those people whose lives were made poorer for that Intuit executive's indifference. That person is the greater fuckwad, and that fuckwaddery depends on their anonymity.

Or take @Pixsy, a corporate shakedown outfit that helps copyleft trolls trick people into making tiny errors in Creative Commons attributions and then intimidates them into handing over thousands of dollars:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/01/24/a-bug-in-early-creative-commons-licenses-has-enabled-a-new-breed-of-superpredator/

Copyleft trolling is an absolutely depraved practice, a petty grift practiced by greedy fuckwads who are completely indifferent to the harm they cause – even if it means bankrupting volunteer-run nonprofits for a buck:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/02/commafuckers-versus-the-commons/

Pixsy claims that it is proud of its work "defending artists' rights," but when I named the personnel who signed their names to these profoundly unethical legal threats, Pixsy CEO Kain Jones threatened to sue me:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/02/13/an-open-letter-to-pixsy-ceo-kain-jones-who-keeps-sending-me-legal-threats/

The expectation of corporate anonymity runs deep and the press is surprisingly complicit. I once spent weeks working on an investigative story about a multinational corporation's practices. I spent hours on the phone with the company's VP of communications, over the course of many calls. When we were done, they said, "Now, of course, you can't name me in the article. All of that has to be attributed to 'a spokesperson.'"

I was baffled. Nothing this person said was a secret. They weren't blowing the whistle. They weren't leaking secrets. They were a corporate official, telling me the official corporate line. But they wouldn't sign their name to it.

I wrote an article about for the Guardian. It was the only Guardian column any of my editors there ever rejected, in more than a decade of writing for them:

https://memex.craphound.com/2012/05/14/anodyne-anonymity/

Given the press's deference to this anodyne anonymity, it's no wonder that official spokespeople expect this kind of anonymity. I routinely receive emails from corporate spokespeople disputing my characterization of their employer's conduct, but insisting that I not attribute their dubious – and often blatantly false – statements to them by name.

These are the greater corporate fuckwads, who commit their sins from behind a veil of anonymity. That brand of bloodless viciousness, depravity and fraud absolutely depends on anonymity.

Mark Zuckerberg claimed that "multiple identities" enabled bad behavior – as though it was somehow healthy for people to relate to their bosses, lovers, parents, toddlers and barbers in exactly the same way. Zuckerberg's motivation was utterly transparent: having "multiple identities" doesn't mean you "lack integrity" – it just makes it harder to target you for ads.

But Zuckerberg couldn't enshittify Facebook on his own. For that, he relies on a legion of anonymous Facebook managers. Some of these people undoubtably speak up for Facebook users' interests when their colleagues propose putting them in harm's way for the sake of some arbitrary KPI. But the ones who are making those mean little decisions? They absolutely rely on anonymity to do their dirty work.

Name your price for 18 of my DRM-free ebooks and support the Electronic Frontier Foundation with the Humble Cory Doctorow Bundle.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/03/04/greater-corporate-fuckward-theory/#counterintuit-ive

[chitsangenthusiast]

red is to spider-man as pink is to miles, in that pink is the color of: self-expression, confidence, compassion. if you side with miles, if you want to support his growth, you're going to be in pink

that being said...a pink robe can be removed, and pink hairdye can be washed out

[lunacias]

of five people, three must pay a price

[to-be-a-dreamer]

Life SMP theorizing is so funny (/pos) to me because like. There’s not really a canon, per se, so what you’re really doing is proposing an addition to the fan-created lore. There’s some running bits and storylines but for the most part the players are just doing some fun goofs n’ gags and sometimes there’s dots to connect. If you wanna make a really complex theory about motives and corruption and such you totally CAN but the only people who’ll ever decide if you’re right or not are other people in the fandom and also Martyn InTheLittleWood

[honeehazard]

SKA SPLATBAND REAL!!!!1!1!!

[grandwretch]

nah bc I feel like we give Murray way too much credit and underestimate how much Steve hates being told what to do. if Murray tried to sniff out steddie the way he did jancy, Steve's mean girl would jump out immediately.

"you are giving me relationship advice? I'll tell you what, next time I wanna know how to be a bald, alcoholic fuck who can't keep his noses out of children's love lives, I call you. Until then, maybe you should work on the crippling trust issues that stop you from having your own relationships instead of living vicariously through everyone else's."

and Eddie is in the background cheering him on the whole time

[undertalethingems]

Unexpected Guests Chapter 10, Act Two: Page 6

First / Previous / Next

Out of sight doesn't mean out of mind.... Gaster won't let anything interfere with his goal.

Look for the next update on Nov. 16th!

[fearandhatred]

listen that good omens lockdown phone call is literally WHAT I HAVE BEEN SAYING everything they tell each other goes in one ear and straight out the other it's kind of incredible

aziraphale hints so many times that crowley could come over if he wanted and does crowley get the hint? no! and then afterwards crowley says outright that he could visit him, and does aziraphale accept? NO! I AM GOING TO THROTTLE THE LIFE OUT OF THEM WITH MY BARE HANDS

[dead-vape]

MCR5 truthers waking up on Nov. 1 getting ready to speculate a Christmas album

[fuzzyhairedfreak]

um uh uh um. so. did anyone else used to follow Nate Stevenson's D&D campaign drawings back in the day or-