#not all those who wander are lost but i sure as hell am

[neriyon]

Not all who wander are lost - Central Shroud

The Mirror Planks │ Bentbranch │ Gabineaux's Bower │ Everschade

"Our first meeting? Hmm... I was called to heal one of the Wood Wailers posted at Galvanth's Spire. Fairly ordinary case - the man had been mildly injured by some pack of critters, and instead of leaving his partner to guard the road alone it was easier to send one of the cojurers to tend to him.

When it was time to head back to the city, both he and his partner kept warning me of some diremites that had been causing trouble on the road near the West Vein. Diremites weren't really that troublesome, but they were pretty insistent, so I promised them I'd take the detour through the Jadeite Thick to ease their worries a bit.

Walk back home was rather uneventful, but closer to the city gates I could hear some faint groans few yalms off the path. Remembering the diremites, I pushed through the bushes to take a look - and found an beaten up elezen man on the ground.

I healed him and kept him company until his legs felt strong enough to carry him back to the city. Not like I could have hauled the man back to city myself... he was almost twice my height, and had a lot stronger build than me. From his training as a lancer, I learned during our chat. Draevoux Chevalier, he introduced himself. A duskwight who, like me, had left his home to study in Gridania. Unlike most elezen, he was happy to chat about pretty much everything - even the thing that led him to get injured so badly.

Drae, as the man had asked me to call him, had been looking for stronger foes to test his lance on. He had started a fight with a treant sapling, apparently not knowing they were pretty strong despite their generally calm behaviour. Not the brightest idea, but I had to commend his bravery."

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

BIG OL HECKIN EDIT:

I am a dum dum who forgot how to spell @sassenach-on-the-rocks amid my existential terror and dread of the deleted-draft incident mentioned below, and then did a Dum Dum no Double-Down by forgetting to update until now. This headcanon is their brainchild and they deserve all the credit for it.

You may now continue with your previously intended brainrot viewing.

I'm VERY INCREDIBLY MIFFED, MY GUYS.

I had this entire post finished and almost completely formatted and saved it as a draft to finish formatting it on my computer

And it DIDN'T SAVE. And I nearly SCREEEEEMED.

It was for an ask request and I also can't seem to tag the person that sent the ask.

I am A N G E R Y

But after several deep breaths and reminding myself that violence is not the answer, here we are.

At any rate. The ask request was for headcanons involving One Piece boyos taking reader to a Masquerade ball.

To the asker, should you still be around to see it, I really really loved this and thank you so, so much for it ❤️❤️ I really enjoyed finding masks to match their aesthetics.

Only deviation I made was Zoro; you meet him there rather than going with him. It just felt right that way for some reason.

And awaaaaaaaay we go~

The Masquerade

Sanji, Zoro, Shanks, Mihawk, Buggy x Reader

SFW Headcanons

This was really so fun and cute and I thank Asker so so much for this.

♫♬Little By Little — The Fratellis♬♫

You wear your mask, I'll wear mine, they don't come cheap but they fit just fine

You can be her and I can be him, and we can both sink while the rest all swim

Sanji

He heard about it when you made port, and there's no way he's not taking you.

He's been looking for an opportunity to take you on the perfect first date, and this is it.

Perfect opportunity for the two of you to get away from the crew for and have a little alone time.

A little dancing, a little wine, a little champagne—it's perfect.

Makes sure not to tell anyone else, if Luffy hears there's free food he'll insist on going and the whole thing will no doubt end in chaos.

He doesn't even tell you—all he tells you, after presenting you with a brand new dress and jewelry (which most likely cost him every last berry in his wallet), is that he would like to take you out for the evening.

And how could you turn him down?

"Come on, love. I promise it will be the best evening you've ever had."

The effort he's already put in, those puppy-dog eyes....

You spend the evening dancing, talking, enjoying the free food, every ounce of his attention on you the entire time as he ensures that you feel like a princess.

Making sure that everyone has their eyes on the pair of you on the dance floor, that they know you're there with him.

Somehow ending up chit-chatting with the catering staff toward the end of the night and being invited to their far less formal after-party.

Stumbling back to the Merry hours later together, half-drunk and giggling and positive that it's the best night you've ever had.

Zoro

"What the hell...?"

He got lost and wandered in.

No idea what's going on, why are all these people wearing masks and dancing?? What exactly is going on this is weird as—

Oh hey there's an open bar, cool.

You recognize him from his bounty poster fairly quickly. There are a lot of marines here, and he really isn’t causing any problems, but he's getting a lot of strange looks...so you decide to do the guy a favor and shove a mask in his hands.

He looks at you like you're speaking another language as you explain where he is and convince him to just put on the damned mask already.

"A ball? I thought this was some kind of weird cult or something."

You just stare at him in disbelief—he thought it was a cult and he's just standing around enjoying the free drinks. 

What.

You brush it off and tell him if he wants to fit in, then dancing is probably a good idea.

He's frowning at you again.

"Yeah, I don't really...do that."

You roll your eyes—there are still people eyeing him suspiciously, you have to do something, so when he finishes his next drink you just grab him by the wrist and drag him out to the dance floor.

Cue impromptu ballroom dancing lessons. He keeps stepping on your feet and mumbling apologies, but it's kind of cute how hard he's trying.

You really can't help but giggle at his explanation that he just got lost and wandered in here.

But you're glad he did—you doubt you would have had nearly as much fun otherwise.

Shanks

Heard about the whole shin-dig while in port.

"Hey that sounds like fun, we should crash it."

You try to be stern, but he pulls out the puppy dog eyes.

"Oh come on please?"

God dammit....

And maybe an hour later you're both making masks.

There's glitter and glue and feathers all over the captain's cabin and you're already dreading cleaning it up.

His has a giant gaudy pirate hat. Because of course it has a giant gaudy pirate hat. He's so proud of it, grinning like a little kid in an arts and crafts class when he holds it up to show you, that you can't even bring yourself to admonish him for it.

And of course the whole thing is invitation-only, and of course he manages to sweet-talk his way in anyway.

Just having such a good time, really doesn't care if anyone recognizes him.

Really doesn't care, just drinking and making small talk and joking with several lower-ranking Marines in attendance who are clearly very nervous.

Within an hour, while you're in the middle of dancing and deciding that maybe this wasn't *such* a bad idea, an announcement is made for everyone to leave immediately.

Judging by the sheer number of Marines outside there's no doubt as to why.

He just gives you a guilty grin before picking you up over his shoulder and bolting back to the ship.

Mihawk

Actually received an invitation, just rolled his eyes and tossed it in the trash.

You dig it out and pout about it until he rolls his eyes and gives in.

"Fine. No more than an hour."

At lease there will be free wine.

Unsurprisingly spends a great deal of time standing in a corner and sipping said wine while staring around haughtily at the other partygoers.

Would much rather be drinking wine back in his secluded castle and not having to deal with other humans.

Spends the vast majority of the evening standing in a corner and nursing a glass of wine while glaring around haughtily at the other guests, daring them to even think of attempting to make small-talk with him.

Doesn't move from his designated corner until he sees other guests daring to flirt with you, at which point he promptly saunters over to pull you to the dance floor and ensure everyone is well aware that you're there with him.

Lightens up a little after that (which may or may not have something to do with the several glasses of wine he's already consumed), but absolutely will not admit that it actually turned out to be a rather nice evening.

He will, however, hold this over your head and remind you that you owe him.

But you know the truth, considering he's a little more willing to attend such events with you after this.

Buggy

Oh what now? An excuse to be absolutely flamboyant and unhinged in public?

You're going. Period. There will no arguments.

He's already got a collection of masks and costumes anyway, this is going to be a blast.

You lose track of him shortly after you get there. You're pretty sure that the explosion that went off toward the back corner of the dance floor had something to do with him.

He finds you while you're sipping a glass of champagne in downright annoyance and proudly informs you that he's made bank going through pockets at the coat check while everyone was distracted by his little diversion.

"Ah, don't worry, babe, they won't notice. They're too busy schmoozing and kissing ass."

Standing around making small-talk with other guests in the most ridiculous put-on aristocratic accent he can possibly muster, introducing you variably as some foreign dignitary or princess from a far off land.

Literally can't take this idiot anywhere.

[hhonghu]

(Reader is immortal)

I can imagine Scara being embarrassed of his past sex obsessed self, Kabukimono, he claims that he is so much better than that now, and much more mature, that is what he tells his subordinates. He is such a liar.

If only his subordinates knew that Scara still begs for your cock almost everyday.

If only his subordinates knew that he jerks himself off at the thought of you, and owns various dildos that he always imagines are you.

If only his subordinates knew just how much of a cock slut their leader was before and how he is a bigger slut now.

If only his subordinates knew that he moans and cries like a cheap whore when you fuck him with just the tip of your cock.

If only his subordinates knew just how crazy he gets when he sees the bulge on his stomach that is formed by your cock and begs for more.

Moral of the story, is that Scara is a slut. He was before, and he still is now.

[Thirst]!

anon you are heavensent !! adsfkjhkjgh my brain can't handle this so i sprinkled a bit of angst teehee >:)

let's say that reader thought they lost kabukimono, stumbles upon scaramouche who was on a mission. you didn't hold back, you cried for him, running and embracing him, twirling him around in your arms in happiness as you tell him that you missed him, that you've been wandering the entirety of teyvat in search of him. as you were lost in your feelings, scaramouche was at awe. you kept looking for him? even if he left you for your own good? and here you are, embracing as you've now found him, out of all times. he was happy really! but this wasn't the right time! he planned to reach godhood then find you, to finally reunite with you once again once he's stronger, better.

while all this was going on, his subordinates stare in shock as some random person just shouted out in happiness and hugged their lord? does this fool not know what the hell they're doing? they know so much as glancing the wrong at scaramouche would send them early to their graves, so the absolute horror seeing being so casual and intimate with scaramouche was amusing. scara snapped out of his trance, immediate trying to pull away from you. you notice and frown, "darling? is there something—", "shhhh! be quiet for a bit!" he slaps his hand over your mouth and glare over his shoulder, eyes deadly glaring at his subordinates. "well? what are you waiting for? get back to work! if a word about this gets out, you'll never hear the end of it." they all scramble away, already fearing for their lives. after he's sure everyone has left, he turns back to you and finally hugs you back. he missed you so much.. your face, you kisses, you touch.. he misses them all and he is just as overjoyed as you are.

although, you were confused. what happened to your kabukimono? why did he shout out to those soldiers? spat out such cruel words? you let him go and set him down, about to ask him what happened to him before he grabs your hand and drags you to his private quarters, saying that you two can talk there. he knows you already had questions and he was nervous but he hoped you'd understand. after you two settled down next to one another, you began to ask him questions; where has he been? why did he leave you so suddenly? and why did he act so differently, so mean? "kabukimono, you've changed." you cupped his cheek, worry in your features. he melts to your touch and takes a deep breath, answering your questions. he explains to you his plans to obtain a gnosis and reach godhood, he explained once he became a god, he'll find you, so both of you can be together. he told you how he felt weak and that the betrayals he's experienced made a fire of helplessness burn inside him, he hated it.

"[name], i am no longer kabukimono. i have long dispose of this identity of weakness. i am now scaramouche, the sixth of the fatui harbingers."

to say you were devastated was an understatement, you were completely shattered. your kabukimono was gone? the boy you love was now a different person, discarded his entirety just like that. scaramouche sees the sadness that lingered in your face, he knew what you felt. you sweet, caring, naïve kabukimono was gone and you tried to wrap your head around it. were you not good enough? had you done something to have him utterly leave you alone with the memories you shared? had you not tried to protect and strengthen him in this cruel world?

"so.. this whole time of me wandering every nation in search of you no— kabukimono, was all for naught?" oh, how the feeling in his chest felt crushed when you said those words. silence falls for a moment, none of you talking as the situation comes crashing down. "i have changed for the better, [name]. i am no longer the weak, naïve,—" his face flushes, "sex obsessed boy you once knew.. i swore that human needs won't get in the way of my plans..", "if the sex was overwhelming you, you could've told me.." you muttered in response, "i can't tell you what you can't and can do, tell you what you should do or shouldn't do.. but, you can't just have left me like that, you know? when i found out you were, i waited. hours turn in to days, days turn in to months, months turn in to years. i caved in to emptiness. you were all and everything to me and hurt me that you were gone from my life just like that."

tears were flowing down your face and and caress his cheek, knowing that this will be the last time you'll see him. "then.. i won't get in your way. i understand on what your goal is and why you changed.. so.. i believe this will be the last time we'll ever be together." he felt fear go through his body, last time? "[n-name], you misunderstand—" you can't go, he can't let you go. he didn't think this through, he thought disposing of himself as kabukimono and becoming the balladeer, scaramouche, will free him of shackles human emotion. but why is it he can't let you go?

you get up and stand in front of him before he grabs your clothes as if trying to stop you from leaving. "i must go.. my journey to find my lover has come to an end, as he is no longer here. i apologize for disturbing you." he cries out and shakes his head, don't treat him this way! he wraps his arms around your neck and pulls you close, refusing to let you go. he begins to sob into you clothes, "nonono, [name], you can't leave! i—" he swallows the lump in his throat. "i am afraid of becoming kabukimono again.. i don't want to be weak, i don't want to entangle you living a life of eternity with someone who cannot handle himself. if i become weak, then i'll crumble.."

you hug him tighter and comfort him as he cries out to you, hands roaming all over you as if you'll disappear if he lets go. "please.. stay with me.." he cups your cheek and kiss you, "if you stay.. i'll be kabukimono once again, just for you.. so please, don't go."

you ended up staying, even you can't leave him even if you say so. scaramouche ended up having to make up a story so that you'll be able to stay by his side. he told his subordinates that you were his right hand and they were to follow your orders or they were as good as dead. of course, you struggled at first doing pretending (you were a crafter, tf do you do carrying out orders a bunch of fatuis?) but after time, you began to get used to it as you were treated just as supreme as scaramouche.

remember when scaramouche said he's changed? in front of the fatui, you both were just lord and his right hand. but behind closed says otherwise.

so imagine your surprise when he can't get his hands off of you, pawing and whining for you. once his subordinates has left the room after a meeting, he jumps on you, mumbling how he needs something from you and how he needs it now. he unbuckles your pants, drooling down at your already hard cock. "someone seems desperate, huh?" he huffs, lapping up down you shaft. "you can't keep this away from me, [name], that's just mean."

you would be sent away for missions (much to both of your dismay) and he would be left absolutely frustrated without you. you only let him get a taste of your cock in his mouth and never cum inside, always finishing off on his face (you're petty like that lol) and even if he lets you, you know he is displeased because of the way his nails dig down your thighs. while he works, he thinks of you and your cock. he would rub his thighs together to try and get some relief to no avail. he would stomp his way to his private quarters that he shares with you (his subordinates averts their eyes whenever you come out of his room instead of your own) and toss himself to the bed, grabbing a pillow that was yours and bury his face in it, inhaling your scent. damn you and the godforsaken mission you were doing, he shouldn't have sent you away so he could've had you in his bed instead, fucking him into oblivion.

he undresses and grabs a box under the bed and digs out a dildo closest to your size, he just can't take it anymore! he begged your cock to be inside him before you left, saying how he missed it but instead just used his mouth, teasing him how he said he was a changed man and that sex without you shouldn't bother him (it does). he laps the dildo up, coating it in his saliva and shoving it into his mouth while he teases his hole with his fingers. lewd noises echo in his room as toys with himself, wishing it was you who was doing it. he then shoves the dildo inside him, squealing at the sensation before thrusting it in and out in a fast pace, his impatience getting the better of him. he needs to cum.

"hgnnngh—fhuck! [name], [name]♡! fuck me, please— nghh, haa♡! harder!", "yesyes— fhuuuuck! yes, right there♡! " no matter how the dildo hits his prostate, no matter how fast and hard he shoves it deep inside him, he can't cum without you.

and when you came back? oh, you were in it for a ride. literally.

he drags you back into your shared bedroom, kissing you roughly and almost tearing off your clothes and his. he pushes you the bed and straddles you, lustful eyes eying your body as you grab his hips and grind him down on your cock making him moan. "[naaame].. you'll fuck me, right? just how i like it? you'll fuck my hole nice and deep, right?", he drags his hands across his chest, tempting you as he flicks and pinches his nipples. "hmm, i don't know, scara." you tease. he whines, eyes glaring at you with a pout on his lips, don't call him that! "mind you, you've changed." you grab your cock and align it with his hole, teasing it. he tries to grind back down on you, to fully put in your dick inside him but you stop him, you grip on his hip tightening. "don't." you rock your his back and forth, only letting your tip inside him and he sobs, wiggling his hips to try to get you fully inside him. "[name] unghh—! don't.. don't tease! please put it inside! i need your dick in me, please!"

was fucking his hole finally after years of waiting worth it? every second of it. skin slapping and scara's moans reverberates in the room, your hips plunging back and forth in his ass. "don't stop— fhuuuck! fuck! don't stop♡!", "your cock hgnnnh— fhuck! it's all the way in my stomach♡! moremoremore♡!" you can feel him clench around you as you fasten his pace, knowing his orgasm is fast approaching. you're making him see stars, his back arching as your cock his prostate continuously. "make me cum, please, unghh— make me cum! i want to cum♡!", "go on ahead, kabukimono. go ahead and cum like the slut you are." and his body shakes uncontrollably, his orgasm overwhelming him as his dick spurts out cum. he cries out, your thrusts unrelenting and not stopping, his nails scratching you back and legs wrapping around your waist. "ooooohhhh— yes♡! i'm your slut, [name]! fuck me like one, fuck your slut, [name]♡!".

such a fucking slut.

guys i lied why is the angst longer lol JDFKASDGH keep ya'll thirsts coming everyone i'm drooling at your brains <33

[shima-draws]

Tell us about the AU! I know you want to!!

WAUGHHH. AGHHH. OKAY. OKAY SO. I've been watching one of my favorite content creators play through the DLC. Early on in the playthrough he was tossing around theories and said "Maybe KIERAN is Ogerpon??" and that gave me a BRILLIANT THOUGHT.

Ogerpon Kieran AU.......

I've already thought of a very long and complex backstory for this LOL but to simplify it. Before the ogre and its human companion came to Kitakami, said companion was actually living a very happy life with his child. However, they were caught up in the midst of a great war that ended up taking the child's life. The man was so overcome with grief that it summoned a great being (I'm thinking Xerneas), who blessed his dead child with new life. And that child was reborn as Ogerpon!! So kinda like how children who get lost in the woods and die are reborn as Phantump.

Fast forward to many many years later. A long chain of events leads to Carmine's grandfather's...father (so, her great-grandpa?) meeting Ogerpon and vowing to make it a new mask, a mystical and powerful mask that could grant wishes. Sadly, Carmine's great-grandpa wasn't able to complete the mask before he died. This project was eventually picked up by Carmine's father (and I have a whole other thing about him but I'm not gonna get into it right now lol). Carmine's father forms a very close bond with Ogerpon as he continues to gather materials to finish the wish mask. He expresses his desire for Ogerpon to finally be able to walk among the villagers with its name cleared, and for Ogerpon to meet his only daughter. He leaves for a journey to find the last material for the mask...and never returns 😔

Carmine's grandfather has a whole complex about the wish mask, but after seeing both his father and his son dedicate so much time and care into completing it, he takes the last material, imbued with the hopes and dreams of his family, and finally finishes the mask. When he presents it to Ogerpon, Ogerpon dons the mask and its wish is granted...it becomes human :") So it becomes Kieran, basically!! Kieran's wish was to be able to say thank you to all of the generations of mask makers that had helped him, and. To be part of their family 🥺 What he doesn't know is that his wish to be human stems from the fact that he already was human, once. But he doesn't remember his life before he was reborn as a Pokemon.

So, Carmine's grandfather happily accepts Kieran and his desire, and takes him home to live with him and Carmine. Note that Kieran is probably around 5-6 at the time, so he's BABY. And Carmine is only about a year or two older. She isn't sure what to think about suddenly getting a new brother, but she's happy to have someone to boss around lmao.

And once a year, during the festival of masks, Kieran lets his facade fall and wanders around as Ogerpon again. Just to keep in touch with his roots haha

So obviously with Kieran being Ogerpon the events of the DLC will play out differently than canon. Kieran slyly compliments the ogre in front of the player and mentions that maybe it's just misunderstood. He's been trying for a while to change the villagers' minds about what happened to him and the Loyal Three all those years ago, but it hasn't been going...too well lol. So when the player shows up, and things start to shift, Kieran gets really excited bc he realizes he finally might be able to clear his name :")

Is this AU silly and dumb as hell? Yes. Does it not really make sense with canon and is full of plot holes? Yes. Am I brainrotting over it anyway? Also yes.

Take a little edit I did of Kieran's official art to fit what I had in mind for the AU ;) I wanted to draw it but I'm at work rn lmao RIP

ALSO LITTLE DOODLE OF THE BOY

ALSO bc of Ogerpon's original gender Kieran probably goes by he/they pronouns in the AU

[of-a-chaotic-mind]

Against Instincts

Summary: Dean made a very serious mistake but much to his surprise, Reader forgives him & the two share a special moment.

TW/CW: Abuse (by Reader's father), Mention of Dean hitting Reader, Dean doubting himself, Mentions of injuries (bruises, welt, etc.), Angst Angst Angst, Dean Winchester x Reader

Requested?: No

Word Count: 1,979

A/N: Idek where this came from. It sorta spawned from me wishing Dean could show up & rescue me from my dog shit life (I'm not being abused I just have a lot of bullshit going on with my parents) & also just me feeling angsty as fuck. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the read. REQUESTS ARE OPEN! Much love to all!

(Y/N)’s POV 

    John Winchester was a hard ass at times but he was never cruel. I think that's why when his teenage son, Dean, returned from what was supposed to be a quick grocery store run with myself around the same age in tow claiming, "Her dad is a monster. We have to help her," he couldn't just ignore me & send me on my way. He visibly stowed his anger at Dean's tardiness & observed me. I’m sure he took note of the bruises scattered across the little bit of skin I had visible, some were old, some were new. He probably noticed the split lip paired with a blossoming black eye. Yet, he ushered me into the car with orders for Sam & Dean to stay put. 

    When he pulled into my driveway my face felt warn with embarrassment. From the outside, my house looked like no one had lived there in years. He walked me to the front door & knocked. When there was no response, he knocked again.  

    I looked up at him, “He’s probably asleep.” I opened the door & walked in. Inside, the house was spotless. When I entered, my father stirred on the couch & sat up.  

    He was very clearly drunk as he slurred his words, “Where the hell have you been, girl?” 

    I looked down at my shopping bags in my hands, “I went out to get milk & bread.” 

    My father rubbed his eyes, still having not noticed John standing just outside the front door, “Ain’t you got something to clean? Make yourself useful & get me beer first.” 

    I hid my face from John as I shuffled over to the fridge & retrieved a beer as instructed. I walked over to the couch & handed it to him, “What would you like me to clean?” 

    He looked up at me, furious, “Are you dumb? You should be able to figure out how to clean by now.” Dean was right, this man is a monster. I took a few steps back & looked around me for something to clean.  

    In the blink of an eye, my father jumped up from the couch & grabbed my arm, “Get your useless ass into the kitchen & wash those damn dishes,” he yelled before shoving me so hard toward the counter that I lost balance & hit the floor. John rushed over & offered his hand to me as my father lazily wandered over to the couch & plopped down. I gently took John’s hand & was hauled to my feet.  

    Suddenly, my father noticed John’s presence, “Who the hell are you?” John said nothing & simply pulled the me to the front door, placing himself between me & my father who was still plastered on the couch. Before the door shut behind us, I heard my father grumble, “Good riddance. She’s worthless anyway.” Tears rushed to my eyes but I fought them back as John pulled me toward the car. Once we were safely inside, he sped back toward the motel. 

    There was never a missing person’s report filed or police involvement. My father never bothered to look for me. People we encountered never questioned why I was with the Winchesters. It seemed everyone assumed I was their daughter & sister. Sure, life on the road was never easy & sometimes John was hard on me but I would much rather stay with the Winchesters than to go back to my father. At some point, I stopped only giving my first name when introducing myself & began introducing myself as (Y/N) Winchester. They were the closest thing I had ever had to a family. 

    I am pulled back to the present at the faint sound of voices outside my bedroom door. They’re too quiet to make out what is being said but I roll over grabbing my headphones to play music to drown them out completely. 

Dean’s POV 

    “What are you doing?” Sam asks, shaking me from my thoughts. I stay silent. “Dean, what’s wrong? Why are you sitting outside of (Y/N)’s door in the middle of the night?” I look down at my lap. “She tried to get you to talk to her didn’t she?” I nod. “What’d you do? Yell at her?” 

    I clench my jaw, “And hit her.” 

    Sam is taken aback, “You-” It’s quiet. “You can’t apologize to her if you’re just sitting out here on your ass.” 

    “She’s hasn’t cried,” I mumble. 

    “How do you know?” Sam asks. 

    “When she ran out of the room, I realized what I did & followed her. By the time I made it to her door, she had already shut it.” 

    “So, you-” 

    “I’ve been sitting here trying to convince myself to knock & she hasn’t cried at all,” 

    “You know when she doesn’t cry she’s-” 

    “I know,” I grit my teeth, “She’s angry.” 

    “Well, like I said, you can’t make it right sitting out here.” 

    “Not long after she left her dad & hit the road with us, I promised her that I’d never let anything happen to her. I’d always protect her.” 

    “Dean-” 

    “I hit her, Sam. I’m no better than that piece of shit that calls himself her father.” 

   “Dean, don’t. That man let a stranger walk out of his house with her. He didn’t give two shits that he hurt her. He wouldn’t be sitting outside her bedroom door nearly in tears trying to convince himself to apologize. You’re better than that guy. You’re her best friend & you need to talk to her.” I tossed Sam’s words around in my head for a few moments before he walked off saying, “If you do decide to get up & knock, I might think about rescuing you when she beats the shit out of you.” 

    “I deserve whatever she does to me,” I mumble to myself. 

(Y/N)’s POV 

    After a few hours of listening to music, my headphones beep that they’re dying. I pull them off & toss them toward the end of the bed, making a mental note to charge them later. For a few moments, all I can hear is the music still playing through my dying headphones. Then, there’s a knock at the door. I hold my breath hoping they’ll go away. I’m sure it’s Dean but I’m hoping it’s Sam. If I face Dean right now, I might kill him. Okay, maybe not kill but definitely maim. 

    Another knock sounds. I begrudgingly toss the covers off of my legs & get up. As I pad over to the door, the knocker speaks, “(Y/N), please let me in. I am so unbelievably sorry. I know I don’t deserve it but please let me check on you.” I’m quiet, mentally arguing with myself about whether I should open the door or not. “Okay... I understand. I’ll leave you alone.” 

    I rush to open the door. His head shoots up to look at me. The worry & fear on his face hurts my heart. I know Dean. I know him better than I know myself sometimes, which is why I never expected the outburst from him that I got. I clench my jaw, “I’m fine.” Dean scans my face before breaking eye contact & looking down at his feet. I leave the door open & return to sit on the end of my bed. He stays put at the open door so I give him a look that says, “Well, come in.” 

    He begins making his way to me, “(Y/N) I-” he drops to his knees in front of me & drops his head into his hands, “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me & I know that’s no excuse but please know I never wanted to hurt you I just got angry.” When he looks up again, there is tears in his eyes. His voice cracks as he reaches up, “Can I?” 

    I nod. He gently runs the pad of his thumb over the welt & slowly forming bruise on my cheek. I notice his jaw clench as he pulls his hand away, “Let’s hear it...” 

    I tilt my head at him with confusion on my face, “Hear what?” 

    “How you never want to see me again & I’m a piece of shit. I’m sure you’re probably wanting to give me a couple good right hooks for what I did,” his voice is small & quiet as he continues, “I deserve it.” 

    I think for a moment, “You’re right. I want to beat the shit out of you. The crazy & scary thing is I’d rather crawl into your lap & you hold me like we used to do when I would wake up screaming from a nightmare about my father. I want you to tell me everything is okay & that you’re here & you’ll keep me safe.” I let my words hang in the air for a second & it breaks my heart to see him break a little too. “But... you hit me, Dean... You’re supposed to make sure no one ever hurts me but you hurt me. I want so badly to just brush it off & move on but I can’t. Every instinct in my bones is screaming that I can’t trust you.” 

    He nods solemnly, “I understand. I’ll leave you alone.”  

    He stands to leave but I grab his arm, “Contrary to my usual belief, my instincts aren’t winning this time.” I tug him to sit beside me on the bed, “Dean, you’re the most important person in my life. Somedays, you’re all that keeps me going... I can’t lose you, not when I know that outburst is not who you are.” He’s quiet but a look of hope grows on his face. I continue, “I forgive you.”  

    A small smile graces his features, “Thank you. You don’t know how much this means to me. I promise I will never hurt you again. I promise I’ll do better.” I nod & we’re left in silence for a few moments before he speaks again, “You were trying to get me to tell you why I’ve been distant lately.” I nod, he takes a deep breath, “I-... I’ve been trying to distance myself from you because... because I love you (Y/N). It terrifies me because I know you deserve better & I know you don’t feel the same way so I was hoping distancing myself would make those feelings go away but if anything, it made them worse & I was just super frustrated that it wasn’t working so when you came to me asking what’s wrong I just exploded.” he pauses, “I’m sorry you got caught in the blast radius.” 

    I take his hand in mine, “I’m gonna break this down piece by piece. First of all, idk how on earth you think I’m gonna find anyone better than you. You always take care of me & keep me safe. You know me better than anyone. You understand me better than anyone. I won’t find that anywhere else. Second of all, how dare you assume I don’t feel the same way,” I giggle, “When did you become a mind reader? Thirdly, why didn’t you just tell me you needed space? I would’ve understood. I didn’t enjoy just being left in the cold by my best friend & the man I love.” 

    He looks me in the eye, “I don’t deserve you, ya know that?” I shrug. He chuckles, “I’m sorry I didn’t just say something. I’ll add it to my list of things to be better about.” 

    I squeeze his hand, “While you’re at it, add stop doubting yourself to the list.” I place my free hand on his cheek, “I wish you could see yourself the way I do.” 

    He leans his forehead against mine, “I love you, (Y/N)” 

    I smile, “I love you too, Dean.” 

More Dean Winchester

Masterlist

[hotteoki]

christmas things with bf skz !

pairing: hyung line skz x reader (no prns used)

genre: fluff, point-form fic, est. rel.

cw: not proofread

wc: 0.9k

notes: merry christmas to anyone who celebrates it, and a happy monday to those who don't! P.S. happy birthday val <3 @kyrjnie

chan (방찬) ~ ice skating

despite having to wait in the long, long, long queue for what feels like centuries just to ice skate in a tiny rink outside the local mall

it's a tradition you and chan do every year

sure, it's not ideal to wait an hour in the freezing cold just to skate for 45 minutes only

but when chan is standing right behind you

helping you wrap your scarf the correct way

zipping your coat all the way up

pulling your beanie that was riding up your head back down

and holding a warm cup of hot chocolate?

you could get past that

besides

it's always funny to watch him flail his arms around like bambi

sometimes you like watching him struggle just to see his frown when you don't help him up

"you don't love me anymore!!!!!"

"if i try to pull you up i'm going to fall down right beside you, chan"

"YOU SHOULD AT LEAST TRY!!!!"

so you do

and to no one's surprise except chan's

you fall down

the little pro skater kids start to get worried when neither of you are able to get up

well you could

if chan didn't attempt to yank on you as support to pull himself back up

why does this man not understand that you are incapable of supporting him to stand back up

it's cute to watch him attempt to recreate one of the figure skating spins tho

i am nawt a figure skater idk the names i'm sawry

you two are just goals goals goals!!!!!!!

minho (민호) - mall intercom announcements

it first happened 4 years ago

it was the most embarrassing moment of your life

minho had suggested the two of you go christmas shopping at the biggest mall in south korea

one second you were holding his hand

the next you're spinning around in the middle of the 2nd floor wondering where the hell your 172cm boyfriend could've wandered off to

you were about to call him until you realise you have his phone after he gave it to you before running off into the toilet

"what if my phone drops into the toilet bowl?!"

you were about to start retracing your steps until you hear your name being announced by the information desk, followed by a "your boyfriend is waiting for you by the information desk at the 3rd floor"

you were so going to kill that man

but that night you think to yourself

killing him isn't enough

no, no

you needed to embarrass him right back

so you held your grudge until next christmas

you mumbled something about a flash sale at a nearby store and that he should find you there after he was done scouring uniqlo and ran off before he could object

you gave yourself a few more minutes before you made the announcement over the information desk

boy, was he mad when he saw the cheeky smile on your face

ever since then, it became a tradition for the two of you to race each other to make the lost person announcement to embarrass the other

it's all fun and games until the worker stares in confusion over thinking either one of you was the other's lost kid

changbin (창빈) ~ take-outs

you don't know why either of you still bother cooking christmas dinner

neither of you can cook

sure, you're a fairly decent baker

but that won't suffice for a christmas dinner

and changbin cannot cook for his life

yet you still take turns deciding on who's going to poison the other

obviously that never works out

the day either ends with you guys calling minho and asking begging him if you could have some of his leftovers

or

your more preferable option

ordering take-out

despite take-out being a very common occurrence for you guys

take-outs on christmas are special

the reason being the free sweets your favourite restaurant usually provide in the small bowl by the entrance

yes, the sweets are there usually

but after changbin accidentally caused a scene the first time you dined in at the restaurant long story

the owner had banned either of you from taking the complementary sweets

however

during christmas time, customers bustle in and out of the restaurant

which makes it easy for changbin to snag a handful of sweets and shove them in his pocket

before grabbing your hand and making a run for it back to his car

you do get some odd looks from the other customers queuing outside the restaurant

but at the end of the day

who are the ones who have a bunch of free sweets to snack on? B-)

hyunjin (현진) ~ sweater paws

it's the time of christmas! meaning...

taking hyunjin's oversized sweaters!!!

needless to say it's your favourite thing to do

it's not that he doesn't let you borrow them usually

he just... prefers to keep his expensive clothes in his closet safe and sound

however

he does indeed have a 'sweater of shame'

a christmas sweater that the other members got him as a gag gift a couple of years ago

you will never catch that man ALIVE wearing that "hideous thing"

so when you started dating him and found that absolute gem

you had decided it make it your mission to shove that "disgusting" piece of clothing over his head

except somehow the tables turned

and the sweater ended up wrapped around you

and hyunjin will never openly admit this

but it was quite literally one of the cutest sights he had ever seen in his life

ever since then

he's made it his mission to get you to wear the sweater every christmas

obviously you run away from him

until last year

when he finally caught you and managed to get it on you

you discovered the sweater does have a plus side to it

sweater paws

it feels like playing whack-a-mole whenever you attempt to swing at hyunjin with the sweater on

whack-a-hyunjin, perchance

he claims to hate it and runs away from you

but you both know it's something the two of you look forward to every christmas

networks: @kflixnet k-labels @kbookshelf @neverendingdreams-net @straykidsland @k-films pirateeznet

[angstywaifu]

Reunited

Little bit of a short one today. But this one came from a prompt for Garrick with a Gryphon Rider. But I feel like despite how short it is, its still quite cute. Enjoy!

Garrick Tavis x Gryphon Rider Reader

The trek to Aretia was tough. My gryphon was not made for the higher altitudes. And I was one of the lucky ones who had one who had a higher tolerance to the higher altitude. I’d hate to think how those further behind are doing.

I tried to keep my mind focused on the journey still ahead of us but I couldn’t help my mind from wandering to Garrick. Would he be there? Was he alive? Xaden would have said something if he wasn’t alive. It had been so long since I had seen him at one of the supply drop offs. Since he had been sent to Samara, it was harder for him to get away as often as Xaden. Every time Xaden came though he gave me a letter from Garrick, and I would give him one to take back in return. We had started after Garrick couldn’t make multiple trips in a row. And sadly the tradition hadn’t ended since it started. It had been months since I had seen him. I hadn’t seen since him Athebyne.

Would he be waiting for me? Had Xaden told him about the deal that was made? Part of me hoped he would be waiting for me as I arrived. As we break through the clearing, Xaden and a few other riders are waiting for us. My heart sinks as I don’t see Garrick amongst them. I busy myself with getting my pack of my Gryphon and go to follow after the other riders. I had procrastinated enough that I was one of the last ones. As I walk past Syrena and the riders Xaden looks up and catches my eye. He smiles and motions with his head to get going. Almost in a way that tells me I should hurry. He must be here.

I step within the walls of Aretia. I had never been here, with how much I had heard from Garrick, I felt as if I had been. I felt as if I could walk these halls and know where everything was. Knowing my luck I would get lost though. There was probably so much Garrick hadn’t been able to tell me. I dump my pack in my room and decide to go explore. Maybe, just maybe I would see him wandering the halls. Or maybe I was unlucky again and he wasn’t here. Out on a patrol or something. But the urgency in Xaden’s nod had suggested other wise. Garrick was here.

As I walk the halls I am met with mixed looks from the riders. Confusion on how the hell I know where to go, and also hate and distain. You couldn’t get ride of generations worth of hate. We’d all be taught to hate each other our entire lives. Only those involved on the supply runs would be accepting of us Gryphon riders to start with.

I around to see I’ve come to an intersection in a hall way. With a painting Garrick had described to me perfectly in one of his letters, to the point I had felt like I had seen it before. As if I’m being pulled by force I follow the hallway down to the right, towards a flight of stairs. Stairs that would lead up to a tower Garrick would frequent when he wanted time to himself. Another bit of information he had told me in his letters. I don’t know how I knew, but I knew he would be there. I sprint up the stairs as fast as I can, so fast its a miracle I don’t trip over my own feet on the way up. Each step brings me closer to Garrick. I get to the top and walk through the arch way, but no one is here. My shoulders slump in defeat. I had been so sure he would be here. But then a familiar smell washes over me, and a familiar pair of strong arms spin me around into a bone crushing hug. I don’t even have to look up to see it’s him as I wrap my arms around his torso. Neither of us dares to brake away from the embrace. Just taking comfort in the fact both of us were here and finally together. And after months apart, this is all we needed.

[pinkrose787]

Amnesia! Branch AU Chapter 2

AO3: Link Part 1: Here

Summary: Branch wakes up in a world that he doesn't fully understand, and finds that everything has changed.

Chapter 2:

The hospital is so bright and loud. The fluorescent lighting that illuminates the ICU hurts his eyes. And these machines won’t stop beeping. Each beep is like a knife into his brain.  A far cry from Branch’s dark and quiet bunker. He can feel the IV digging into his skin, shifting every time he so much as breathes.

But even with this sensory hell, all he can think about is Poppy. Dr. Moonbloom referred to her as queen, a title that Branch dreaded Poppy getting for years. And the way that she acted. Hugging him, holding his hand, being there by his side.  It’s a way that Branch had dreamed of her acting for a long time. Did they start dating? No. That’s impossible. There’s no way Poppy would ever be with someone like him. Besides she likes Creek. Not him. Never him.

Then his mind wanders over to his brothers. Are they really beyond those white doors waiting for him? Have they really cared enough to reconnect with him? And what of Spruce? Poppy mentioned John Dory, Floyd, and Clay, but didn’t mention Spruce. Maybe he really died like he always assumed his brothers did. Damn. He hopes not. Even if he’s been angry at them for almost his entire life, he never wished for death on any of them.

Dr. Moonbloom checks up on him. “How have you been feeling?”

“Confused, mostly.” Branch says. “I don’t understand what’s going on.”

She writes that down in her clipboard. “Well, that stands to reason. You’ve lost the last four years of your memory. Now, I would catch you up on what you have missed, but I have a feeling that Queen Poppy would prefer to do that herself.”

It’s so strange to her Poppy referred to as Queen Poppy. He guesses that it’s just something that he is going to have to get used to. But he still doesn’t fully understand why Poppy is so insistent on helping him. As much as he wants to spend all his time with Poppy, he isn’t sure if could handle it. He looks up at Dr. Moonbloom who stands there with her trademark indifferent expression. “When am I going to be able to go home?”

Dr. Moonbloom looks back down at her clipboard. “Well, given the injuries you sustained we want to keep you here for a few days for observation. After that, you’ll be able to go back to your bunker.”

His bunker! If he’s not there who’s going to maintain it! He’s never been away from his bunker for more than a few hours. Being here in the open, injured, and surrounded by strangers, makes him want to get up and hide in his bunker. But these damn IV lines in his arm won’t let him. “I’ll be here for a couple more days?” He asks. The thought of being in this overstimulating hospital ward for another few days makes him wish he’d have died out there.

“Yes and no. Given your stable condition you’ll be moved to your own personal hospital room at the request of Queen Poppy. Now, I have other patients to attend to. A nurse will be here to move you shortly.” Dr. Moonbloom leaves Branch lying alone in the hospital bed.

There it is again. Poppy is referred to as queen. It was something he knew would happen someday, since she’s King Peppy’s only child. But he never expected it to happen so soon. Does that mean King Peppy is dead? He hopes that Peppy simply stepped down. He’d hate for Poppy to have to feel the pain of losing someone close to her. 

It isn’t long until Dr. Moonbloom’s words come true. A couple of nurses come and help Branch into a wheelchair. Apparently, they don’t trust him enough to walk. There’s something strange about one of the nurses helping. She looks just like Cooper except different.  In fact, as they wheel him to the room where he’s staying, he notices a lot of different trolls. Some are like Cooper and the nurse, others are small and gold, a few are fish-like, some are half-horse, and there are multiple trolls that have more muted colors like him but have much sharper features. He wonders if he doesn’t have memory loss but was rather knocked into some sort of warped nonsense dimension.

The hospital room he was moved to is incredibly nice. It’s so spacious, even though Branch isn’t going to be moving around much. A nightstand next to the bed with a lamp on it. There’s a small couch and an armchair meant for visitors.

Normally, Branch would assume that he won’t have any, But with Poppy and his brothers, he might actually have someone come visit him. That’s such a foreign thought to him. Frankly, he isn’t sure he welcomes it. He’s gotten so used to going through everything alone that the mere thought of someone being there for him when he’s at his weakest makes him anxious.

What really catches his eye in the hotel room is the window. It’s large and lets sunlight stream into the room. And it has an amazing view of Troll Village. Looking through it he can see all the different pods hung up on the branches. There’s all sorts of trolls going about their daily lives. It’s a world that Branch feels like he can never truly be a part of.

It isn’t long before there’s a knock at his hospital door. The door opens to reveal Poppy standing in the doorway. She’s holding a tote that’s so heavy; it’s causing her to lean. “Hey Branch!” She says. Her voice is excited and perky as it always is. She’s smiling so wide. If it weren’t for her eyes Branch would assume that she was happy.  They are red and puffy. The mascara and eyeliner around them is smudged.

“Have you been crying?” Branch asks. Never in the entire time of Branch knowing her has he ever seen her cry. She’s always been so happy and upbeat. The thought of her being sad enough to cry is unnerving.

“What? No. I’m fine,” Poppy says. Her smile falters a little.

“Okay…” Branch doesn’t believe her. But he doesn’t want to push the issue. He knows how much it sucks for people to try and get you to tell you what’s wrong when you do not want to. He glances down at the tote. “What’s with the bag?”

Poppy perks up again. “I brought scrapbooks of everything that’s happened!” She pulls the armchair to Branch’s bedside. It makes a low groan as it scrapes against the floor.

He looks at the tote again. It’s almost ripping at the seams from the weight of all the scrapbooks. “Looks like there’s a lot,” Branch remarks.

“There is!” Poppy sits down in the chair next to Branch. “We’ve done so much over the last four years.” She pulls out a couple of scrapbooks and shows them to Branch. “These are the three really big ones where our lives changed the most.” The scrapbooks are labeled “Befriending the Bergens”, “Troll Tribe Togetherness”, and “BroZone: Here we Bro-again”.

“Befriending the Bergens?” Branch repeats the title of the first scrapbook. He looks up at Poppy with a skeptical expression. “There’s no way we befriended the Bergens. Did you forget that they used to eat us every year?”

“No, I didn’t. Besides they all agreed to stop eating us two years ago! And ever since then we’ve all been friends!”

“There’s no way that I would ever be friends with a Bergen.” He crosses his arms.

“Well…” Poppy chuckles. “You did.” She opens up the third scrapbook. On the first page is Branch in a suit standing next to a Bergen. Poppy points to the picture. “That’s you and King Gristle at his wedding! You were his best man!”

Branch cannot look away from the image. There he is. Next to the Bergen king. Someone he swore would always be his enemy. “There is no way that’s real.”

“It is.” Poppy puts down the scrapbook. “I know that us befriending the Bergens is going to be hard for you to understand without your memories, because I know that what happened with your grandma deeply affected you.”

Branch’s blood runs cold. Poppy knows his most deeply held traumas. All the years and all the effort of hiding himself from her were undone in just four years.  “I told you about my grandma?”

“Yeah, in a pretty dramatic way actually.” She grabs the first scrapbook. “I detailed it in here. If you read it, you’ll see that it happened in the past. Things have changed. You’ve changed.” Her voice is soft.

For a second, Branch doesn’t respond. He doesn’t know how. His gaze goes to the wall across from him. A flurry of thoughts fly through his head. He’s felt more emotions in the couple of hours since waking up than he has in years. Was that good? Was that bad? He isn’t sure. What he does know is that he doesn’t like it.

Poppy gently takes Branch’s hand. “Hey, we don’t have to go through this all right now. That’s why I brought the scrapbooks. So, you can read through them at your own pace.” Branch looks up at Poppy. She has a soft smile on her face. “Though if you want, I can go through them with you. Fill you in on all the little details the scrapbooks miss.”

“I… I.. guess I do have some questions,” Branch says.

“Ask away!” Poppy says.

Branch takes a second to think. There’s a million questions buzzing about in his brain. There is one that keeps showing up in his mind. One that he’s been having trouble getting used to. “When did you become queen?” he asks.

“A couple of years ago. Right after we befriended the Bergens, my dad abdicated and gave the crown to me!” Poppy says. She opens up the first scrap book to an image of her and Branch holding hands and standing on top of a toadstool. “You were actually right there beside me at my coronation.”

Poppy smiles gently as she brushes the picture. “Actually, you’ve been by my side for pretty much my entire reign as queen,” she says. A lone tear falls down her face.

There’s a bit of pain in Branch’s heart. He’s happy that Poppy didn’t have to lose her dad. But she lost him. Or at least she lost the troll that he was before he lost his memory. It’s strange to the see the woman you love mourn you while you’re still alive “I wish I could remember it.” Branch says.

“I wish you could too.” Poppy wipes away the tear. “But we’ll work on getting those memories back!”

There’s that typical Poppy optimism that has pestered Branch for years. The optimism that made Branch fall for her in the first place. Though Branch doesn’t feel as optimistic about him getting his memories back. “Something else that’s been on my mind.”

“Yeah?” Poppy asks.

“What were we? Before I lost my memory, I mean.” Branch takes a deep breath. “Because it seems like we were more than friends.” Though Branch doesn’t really hold hope that she ever returned his feelings.

Poppy pauses at that question. Her eyes start to well up with tears. “We are… well…” She takes a deep breath in and blinks away the tears in her eyes. “We were dating.”

Branch’s heart almost stops at Poppy saying that. They were together. And he doesn’t remember a damn thing about it. This feels like another joke that the universe has played on him. “We were dating?” he repeats lightly. “How? And since when?”

Poppy picks up the “Troll Tribe Togetherness” scrapbook. She turns to the very end. On that page there’s Poppy, Branch, and a bunch of other trolls that Branch doesn’t know standing in a coliseum. The little Branch and Poppy scrapbook characters are holding hands. “It was right after Barb tried to steal all the strings. After I smashed her guitar and temporarily destroyed all music, we sang a song that brought music back to the world. And there on that stage is when you said, ‘I love you’ for the very first time and that’s when I said it back to you. After that we were always together.”

Branch is quiet. He wants to say something, but what? What could he possibly say to that? That sounds like such an amazing moment, like something out of Branch’s wildest dreams. And he doesn’t remember it.

Rage wells up inside him. He’s had so much stolen from him over his life. His parents, his brothers, his grandma. And now he’s had four years of memories stolen from him. Memories where he lived a happy life. A life that he thought would never be possible. He wants to rage against everything. He wants to tear everything apart. He wants to scream and scream and scream. But he can’t. He doesn’t want to say anything to hurt Poppy.  

“Do you want to see my favorite scrapbook?” Poppy says.

This snaps Branch out of his own mind. He looks at her. She has a soft smile on her face, though her eyes are still misty. “Sure,” Branch says.

Poppy pulls out a brown scrapbook. It’s unlike all the other scrapbooks Branch has seen. The construction is shoddy. On the front there’s a poorly drawn image of Branch and Poppy inside a heart and written in abysmal handwriting is “Branch and Poppy’s Great Adventure”.

He stares at it for a second. “This is your favorite scrapbook? Why?” Branch asks.

“Because it’s the one you made for me,” Poppy says softly. She caresses the cover with a smile on her face.

“I made that for you?” Branch asks. Truthfully, he should have figured that out. He might know how to make traps that can catch anything and build a functional survival bunker, but crafts have never been his strong suit. It’s hard to focus on gluing paper together when you feel like any moment a Bergen is going to pick you up and eat you.

“Yeah, you did.” She hands the scrapbook to Branch. “I think maybe it’s best if you see what happened from your own perspective. Maybe that’ll wake up your memories!”

Branch opens the scrapbook. The construction of it is not any better on the inside. There’s so many little drawings of them, going on adventures, being with each other. The page that strikes Branch the most is near the beginning of the scrapbook. Him and Poppy are standing on top of a mushroom and holding hands. Written above them “You make me happy.”

Such as simple statement. But it feels like a stab in the heart. It’s a sentiment that he’s never expressed out loud, at least not that he can remember. Poppy makes him about as happy as he can be, which usually isn’t very much. But it seems like Poppy managed to break through every barrier he had set up over his life.

But without his memories, all those barriers are back-up. It feels like Poppy teleported behind them, and Branch doesn’t like that. As much as he loves her, as much as he wants to be close with her, having her be behind all his walls makes him feel panicked.

Branch looks over at Poppy. Her face has such a soft smile, one that Branch would hate to see go away. But they have to face reality. The one she’s smiling thinking about isn’t him. He looks away from her. “I know you want me to say that I remember everything now, but I don’t. Nothing in this scrapbook is familiar.”

For a millisecond, the smile on Poppy’s face fades. But she forces it back up. “Well, that’s okay! No one expects you to remember everything right away!” She takes Branch’s hand. “And while you get your memories back, your brothers and I will be here every step of the way.”

Oh, that’s right. He’d been so distracted by his forgotten past with Poppy; he forgot that his brother’s came back. “I can’t believe it. I thought I’d never see any of my brothers again.” Branch looks at Poppy. “It’s not some prank right? They’re really here?”

Pranks have been pulled on him in the past. A lot of them were cruel and meant to stir up his paranoia about the Bergens returning. But Poppy never pulled them on him. Usually, she would get on the case of whoever was pranking Branch.  “It’s not a prank. They are really back. If you want to, you can see them. They’re actually in the waiting room right now.” Poppy says.

Truthfully, he still doesn’t know if he wants to see his brothers again. It seems like past him did. But from what he’s seen past him had a whole better life. All the anger at his brothers is still so fresh. He glances down away from Poppy. “I don’t want to see them.” His voice is angrier than he expected it to be.

“That’s alright. You can see them when you’re ready.” Poppy says. She gently smiles at him. “Meanwhile, I’ll be here for you.”

Branch looks at her. Even though she’s smiling, he can tell that she’s struggling to keep up this façade. “Is anyone going to be there for you?”

Immediately after asking Branch feels a little dumb. Of course, there are going to be people there for her. She’s the most beloved troll in all of Troll Village. If she so much as sneezes, the entire village loses their minds.

Poppy puts her hand on Branch’s. “Don’t worry about me. Viva hasn’t really left my side, since you were hospitalized.”

“Who’s Viva?” Branch asks.

“Oh? Yeah!” Poppy perks up. “I forgot to tell you! She’s my long-lost big sister!”

“Wow.” Branch really cannot think of anything to say to that. “You have an older sister?”

“Yeah, I know. And my dad never mentioned her...” Poppy starts to go into a speedy talk about her sister. Branch is barely catching any of it. He’s hearing Clay’s name mentioned a couple times. But he isn’t sure in what context it’s being mentioned.

A sharp pain shoots through Branch’s head. “Augh!” he exclaims.

Poppy stops mid-sentence. “Oh my goodness? Are you alright?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Branch presses his hand against his head. “My head just hurts.” It could solely be from his head injury, but the insane amount of information and emotions that he’s had to process in the last hour definitely have not helped.

“I should probably let you rest.” She gets up to leave, but leaves the tote bag filled with scrapbooks behind. Before she turns the door handle, she looks back towards Branch and smiles. “Don’t worry, I’ll be back tomorrow!”

With that statement, she leaves Branch alone in the hospital room. While Branch is sad to see Poppy go, he’s also relieved. Now, he can sit and process every thing without worrying if what he says is going to hurt Poppy.

____

Closing the door, Poppy feels a wave of exhaustion wash over her. She knows that she should have expected Branch to figure some things out. Nothing prepared her for the conversation about what the two of them were. Reminiscing on her and Branch’s relationship with Branch was one of the most painful things she’s ever experienced.

Right now, she just wants to go home and collapse. Well, what she really wants to do is collapse in Branch’s arms, tell him all about the day she’s had, and let her exhaustion melt away. But that’s not possible. She needs to be strong for Branch. Just as long as it takes for him to get back to how he used to be. Hopefully, that won’t be too long.

Helping Branch catch up isn’t the only tough job Poppy has to do. Now, she has to be the one to tell Branch’s brothers that he doesn’t want to see them. It’ll break their hearts, but it needs to be done.

Poppy takes a deep breathe to compose herself, and heads towards the waiting room.

[major-floyd-and-lilia-simp]

Once Upon A Dream

Lilia x Male Reader

Notes: i am primarily going off of what my gf has told me about Malleus's overblot. (Which is a lot lmao) And changing a few things obviously. I play on the international server. So we literally just got like, the first part of it anyway. Plus, im still on Savanaclaw.

Description: after Malleus's overblot happens, those affected are working on recovery. Until Malleus tells Lilia that (Name)—you—still haven't woken up. Lilia can't come to terms with the fact he might've lost (Name).

TW: mentions of war, death and descriptions of hopelessness.

Lilia didn't make a noise when it happened. Hell, his face didn't even move much save for falling into a neutral expression.

If it was anyone but Malleus or Silver who told the elder fae what happened, then they would've thought the man didn't care. But Malleus knew. He's known Lilia the entirety of his short life. He and Silver were the only ones who knew the subtle changes in Lilia.

Malleus knew Lilia didn't blame him. Overblots, they're uncontrollable. At least it wasn't painful. And there was still the chance (Name) was still alive. Just in a very deep sleep. That didn't stop the dragon fae from blaming himself. If he had just been more diligent against his own self-

A small hand on his shoulder pushed through Malleus's quickly darkening thoughts. Lilia was looking up at him, expression unreadable but the careful touch was clear as day.

The elder fae was doing his best to hold himself together, and he needed Malleus to tell the others the news.

Lilia didn't understand why news of (Name) not waking hit him as it did. It wasn't like he was dead. And it wasn't like Lilia has lost people to harder things before. He was in a war for fucks sake.

Perhaps it was because this happened at the hand of someone he held dear. He didn't blame Malleus. It was unintentional after all. So he didn't think it was that. He couldn't say it was just because he cared for (Name), because although he did, he would've had a much more outward reaction had something happened to Sebek or, seven forbid, Silver instead.

So why did he feel so numb. As if his heart had been torn from his chest still beating. As if every nerve in his body was simultaneously electrified and dead. It felt like he had lost something he didn't have in the first place.

The only other explanation, was that he loved (Name), but to come to that conclusion, one he already knew but buried deep, would be to admit that he was too weak to admit it, and now he'll never get that chance.

He was a fool.

He wandered into his room. There was a semi-vacant look in his eyes. That meant that (Name) has been in this deep slumber for a week now. Lilia just figured he was still recuperating, too busy making sure his dormmates and family were okay to spare much thought to the Ramshackle human. And Silver took longer than Sebek or Malleus or himself to recover so he thought nothing of it.

He was such a fool.

He was wandering. There wasn't an aim to where he went, but he found himself pulled towards the infirmary. Perhaps...

He shook his head. It was a one time thing, breaking Silver's curse when he was a babe. He doubted it could work again. He didn't even know how he managed it either. But still his feel carried him to the infirmary and to (Name)'s bed. Grim was curled up on his chest, awake but silent for once, while Ace and Deuce sat at his bedside, fast asleep on each other. They must've been here all week.

Lilia took a seat, staring at the man on the bed. He wanted to reach out so badly. The feeling of hope bubbled in his chest as he thought that maybe he could wake the sleeping human. Maybe.

Seven, he was so much a fool.

He reached out, his hand covering the Ramshackle prefect's, praying to whatever would listen. For what, he didn't know but he chanted "please" like a mantra in his head, nothing passing his lips save for a few shallow breaths.

Nothing happened.

Lilia deflated, the hope dying in his chest as he leaned forward. Waterlogged pain made itself known as it pricked at his tearducts, threatening to break him. His forhead pressed to (Name)'s shoulder, and he released a shaky breath. Grim had fallen asleep. He must've been exhausted as he was silent. The only sound in the room was Ace and Deuces steady breaths and the old fae's own shaky ones.

He didn't notice the change in (Name)'s breathing.

He didn't notice the subtle twitch of his eyelids

He did notice when a cool hand turned under his, and lightly grasped his own.

Lilia's heart clenched in his chest as his head shot up, magenta meeting (eye color). "I had the strangest dream." (Name) whispered, his voice raspy from misuse. "I dreamt that we were dancing in the woods...and it was only us."

Lilia didn't notice when the tears finally fell as he dragged (Name) close into a tight hug, laughter bubbling on his lips.

[anxiteyandsleep]

"not all those who wander are lost" but I sure as hell am. Where the fuck am i?

[rpmemestorehouse]

Dark Souls II (2014) Starters

Change wording as needed

“They all end up here, all the ones like you.”

“ Tisn't easy being old…”

“Fair traveller, I know that you must have a story. Why else would you visit such a place?”

“I will remain by your side. Till this frail hope shatters…”

“If you proceed regardless, your fate will be more terrible than mere life or death.”

“One day, you will walk those grounds…without really knowing why.”

“Long have I awaited one such as you, one who might shatter the shackles of fate.”

“I am [Name]. And like you…I lost everything, and now I'm here.”

“To be alive…to walk this earth…That's the real curse right there.”

“I'd forgotten how much comfort a little companionship can bring.”

“Still flirting with madness?”

“Who are you? Oh, it doesn't matter, just help me open this door.”

“You, stand back. This is dangerous work.”

“Now, there's a time for travels, but you can't wander the world forever. Even you must have someone waiting back home...”

“Hmph, I'd given you up for dead. Almost had me worried, really...”

“Oh, sorry, I...Please, do have a look at my wares. I could really use the business...If you'd be so kind...”

“Oh, I was hoping that you would come. I've stocked some new things, and I thought you might be interested.”

“Oh, by the gods...Why the hell am I here?”

“Oh, no, I'm afraid...sorry, I'm afraid this is a fake. It's not worth much at all.”

“Oh...Undead, are we? And one without much time remaining.”

“Oh, yes, you may call me [Name]. Enchanté.”

“Oh, don't feel bad. I'm sure your mother's still proud...Hee hee!”

“You give something, to gain something. That's the way humans like it, right?”

“Oh, I'm sorry. I was just…daydreaming, I think.”

“When I first came to this forsaken land...It was...um...hmm...? Err...A curse...? Err...Something about a curse...”

“What a joy to meet a kindred spirit out here...”

“It wasn't there when I came here before. I don't know what explains it...”

“I have come to spread the art of miracles, a practice of which I am a disciple.”

“Sometimes I fight the urge to pack up and go back home. It is, well...I must do this.”

“Miracles began as tales told by gods. We preserve their will with lore, pray to their greatness, and are blessed in return.”

“Curses…Puzzled me out, have you?”

“Seemed like the battles would never end. Poor folk like myself had nary a place to sleep.”

“You may travel light, but methinks you bear a burden of your own.”

“Oh, you again. Go on…It's on the cheap for you.”

“Cruel, cruel world, this is...Keh heh heh...”

“Travelling all alone in these treacherous times? Well, I hope you have a very good reason.”

“There's treasure this way...But I've a bad feeling about it. I don't quite have the guts myself! Hah hah...”

“You be careful, too, my friend. For trust can be a dangerous thing.”

“Ooh, that'll leave a nice scar!”

“Transient being. This is no place for one such as you.”

“Do my ears deceive me? Who would refuse such magnificence?”

“You've achieved much, and approached a higher plane. But our path is long and arduous. We must always seek further challenges.”

“You are my greatest challenge.”

“Heh heh. You are an odd one. Normally, people keep a safe distance when they see this mask. But you...”

“Don't hesitate to call upon me. Whatever happens, I won't be missed...”

“I was raised to wield a sword from birth. Life was hard, but I never gave it a second thought.”

“I'm sorry…to burden you with talk of my fate. I suppose I've grown weary these days.”

“I am frightened...Terribly so...”

“I don't want to die, I want to exist.”

“My name is [Name]. I beg of you, remember my name. For I may not myself...”

“Your visit is welcome. I trust you've kept up your studies.”

“It is a fitting place to hone my sorceries. I suspect that I may even conjure up new spells here.”

“Never forget, young pupil… There are no shortcuts to mastery.”

“I wish to find out more about it, but as we see, this place is in ruins. Just what happened here?”

“Stay back, or you're pieces! Tiniest pieces! Hah hah hah hah!“

“Slice 'em to shreds, whoever they are! Wherever, whoever, be they near, be they far!”

“The power of flame, power of the gods… In the end, it is all beyond our reach.”

“If you walk with flame, then I salute you.”

“Still a bit stiff, I'm afraid. Heh heh heh...”

“I've been a guest for a very long time. But I don't think that anybody will miss me!“

“Do you really think you can manage the glories that are my spells?”

“Anything that has a beginning also has an end. No flame, however brilliant, does not one day splutter and fade.”

“I don't know who you are…But leave me be.”

“The Dark...Is always within you...”

“This land...lies closest to the Dark...Th-that is...that is why I came here.”

“One day…I will share your fate.”

“You've set me free. Now I can find him. The cheeky prick. He won't know what hit him.”

“I travel from land to land to hone my blade. I've heard this land was full of danger. I thought it would suit me perfectly.”

“For the good of the world, and for my own honour. I won't let that bastard live another day. Heh heh...”

“Damn! You're tougher than you look!”

“Oh, you trot along home. This place won't be any fun, not for you.”

“You want more than just a little blood. You want to be drenched in blood, mired in its foul stench. Am I right? Am I?”

“Ah, who cares? It's just another chance to spill more blood. Doesn't that excite you, hm? Heh heh...”

“Oh, it's even on my shoes!”

“I never planned to visit this gods-forsaken place. But I don't know… I just sort of ended up here.”

“I've searched every nook and cranny here. I suppose it's time to move on.”

“Oh, fancy meeting you here.“

“Oi! Mind your manners!”

“I'm on the run, don't give me away!...You're a fugitive too, eh?”

“Psst, have you heard?...Well, apparently there's this monster lady, right...”

“Gods almighty...I'm not going to die in this dump...”

“Ah come on, don't look so glum! I'm trying to be nice here! You're hopeless, I tell you...”

“I roam about, looking for a find, following my instincts. I don't care what a thing is worth. What matters is whether it grabs me.”

“Let me just say, there are lots of "legendary swords" out there.”

“This thing is amazing...Could it be a dragon egg? I feel invigorated...Just by holding it.”

“Oh no, no, no, no, no, don't say that. Give a bloke a chance. I'm begging you. I really should have that!”

“And now I watch the days go by, and gaze at the night sky, thinking of the finer things, far removed from war. I'd grown weary of battle, but did not realise it until now.”

“I am grateful for these peaceful days. But such contentment lies only in the here and now. Why must life be so confounding...”

“If you wish for help, summon me. I am rusty in battle, but will fight by your side.“

“Back again? Well, this is a pleasant surprise.”

“I owe you some form of thanks, but have nothing for you at the moment. If it would not trouble you, could you visit my abode just down the way?”

“Oh, we meet again, kind traveller. This is my workshop.“

“I require no payment this time. It is my way of saying thanks.”

“Do you find me strange? Skee hee. You humans are always this way. The way you glare at any unfamiliar creature.”

“We once had a master. He created us long, long ago. But he was born with a fatal flaw.”

“Our master was a tragically lonely soul. Eventually, his solitude eroded his very reason. In the end, he never understood...what it was that he truly lacked.”

“We seem to be at a standstill. The wounds we exchange are never lethal.”

“I have no gods to pray to. But still I pray that your journey will be safe.”

“And like every Undead, you have no future.”

“If you seek true Dark, I will grant it to you. As much as you desire.”

“The embrace of the Dark is gentle. Let it absorb your sorrows, forever.”

“Dark is the mother of all. All things were born from it.”

“Thy welcome wearest thin. Leave this place.”

“Swearest thou by the sweet-tempered sludge that laps at our bosoms?”

“I am aware of thine accomplishments, and they are not few.”

“'Twould seem some sunlight-poisoned creatures are worthy of great honour.”

“Something seems to be bothering you. Yes, yes, I can tell. It is written upon your face. You have doubts, about something you did.”

“But now, you are lost, bewildered by your own actions. You poor little thing.”

“But if your heart is yet sincere, your sins will be forgiven. Now is the chance. Demonstrate your sincerity to me.”

“Then, you wish to stand and face your own sins? Such virtuous fortitude is rare, and I sincerely commend it.”

“I am in yer debt. It's a true man who honours his debts. And I'll see mine paid.”

“Ho! Well met, friend. Good to see you well. Yes, hehh hehh, very good indeed.“

“If you still insist on having it...Then you will have to pry it from my cold hands! Gah hah hah hah hah hah!”

“Very well. I, [Name], will be honoured to chop you to pieces.”

“Who are you...And by whose permission do you stand before me?”

“Do you seek an audience with my Lord, King [Name]? Unfortunately, His Highness is absent.”

“Where am I? What has happened to our castle...”

“Welcome, visitor...Our guests are treated with honour. This is the way of our castle. Tell me if you should require anything.”

“We know nothing of the world outside. And why should we? For we will never leave.”

“Do you seek comfort, too? You poor thing...”

“Light, and all those who bear it, are unwelcome in this place.”

“I am [Name]. Guardian of the crypt. Countless dead rest here in peace. Cradled by the comfort of dark.”

“This place is welcome to all, provided due reverence is shown.”

“Tell me what you desire. Show me reverence, and I will lend you my hand.”

“Now, where shall we bury this one?”

“P-please, just stay away. No, please, don't come near me. Nothing good will come of it.“

“Do not attempt to help me. Just let me sit here, and wither quietly away...”

“By the very gods...What have you done...You've really done it...You'll never escape him...”

“Are you tormented by memories? Burdened by guilt? Now the question. Are you ready for more? If you are, then we ought to talk...”

“You could kill a dozen like that, and it wouldn't matter. I want you to kill someone of import.”

“These are for you. Don't mind the specks of blood...Heh heh heh...”

“I'll spend some time travelling the lands...Slowly tracking my new mark...”

The murk shifts and stirs. Yet another stands before us...“

“And so, you peer...Into the fog, in hope of answers.”

“Huh! You were not deserving of the mire...”

“What brazen insolence! You…forever you shall rot…”

“Turn away. And never look back. No one must ever find that which is sheltered in [this location].”

“I haven't the strength to help him myself, but perhaps one such as you...”

“You've granted my one wish...Now, I have no regrets.”

“Go on, kind visitor. May you reach your journey's end, one day.”

“Brave Undead, seek the throne. Follow the symbol of the monarch, and do what must be done.”

“That thing is a prop, a false deity. Don't be fooled, my Undead.”

“Seek the forest, you, where those wretched Giants slumber.”

“Brave Undead, you have proven yourself to me. Now, be one, with the Dark...”

“No one has come this far, not for a very long while.”

“Young Hollow, there are but two paths. Inherit the order of this world, or destroy it. But only a true monarch can make such a choice.”

“Very few, indeed, have come even this far. And yet, your journey is far from over.”

“Heheh, I believe we've been acquainted.”

“Men are props on the stage of life, and no matter how tender, how exquisite...A lie will remain a lie.“

“You, neither born with greatness, nor granted it by the fates. What is it that you seek?

“How you grapple, without falter, with this dreadfully twisted world.”

“All men trust fully the illusion of life. But is this so wrong? A construction, a facade, and yet...A world full of warmth and resplendence..”

“I am [Name]. I sought to shed the yoke of fate, but failed.“

“Not one of them stood here, as you do now. You, conqueror of adversities. Give us your answer.”

“But the question remains...What do you want, truly?”

“There is no path. Beyond the scope of light, beyond the reach of Dark...what could possibly await us?“

[casanovawrites]

chappell roan sentence starters ft. "school nights" + miscellaneous songs

you can say that we are nothing, but you know the truth.

i don't wanna call it off, but you don't wanna call it love.

you only wanna be the one that i call "baby."

i just wanna love someone who calls me "baby."

you can kiss a hundred boys in bars, shoot another shot, try to stop the feeling.

you can say it's ust the way you are, make a new excuse, another stupid reason.

good luck, babe!

i'm cliche, who cares?

it's a sexually explicit kind of love affair.

i just need a little loving, i just need a little air.

you're nothing more than his wife.

when you think about me all of those years ago, you're standing face to face with "i told you so."

you know i hate to say "i told you so."

you'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling.

i love you because you're understanding when i'm too shy to show my skin.

i would never give you the chance. you still love me anyway.

i love you because when you say, "i don't wanna talk," you always call me.

i love you because you lead me back to bed when i wander in my sleep.

sometimes i forget it wasn't always this way.

it's hard to admit, i was the one to blame.

you know how dark i am. when you take my hand, i am finally light.

remind me how you are mine. oh, how that heals me.

i'm falling fast now for you, babe.

you know if you leave how i will cave without you.

our love is bittersweet.

i crave you.

don't know what you do to me.

you know how fragile i am, so don't drop me.

you know how fragile i am, so don't hurt me.

i love being bitter. it makes me feel better.

bitter feels better than trying to get better.

now i'm sick in the head and it's not even my fault.

i bite hard when i try to be nice.

i'm having trouble fighting wars in my mind.

i wanna be a kid with you.

i know i'm impatient.

bite your tongue or i'll do it for you.

i'll call you when i'm wasted.

i should know better.

all i really want is that good hurt.

i know in my head i could do better.

no one else compares to who i had first.

lied when i said i love you. didn't mean to say it, but i know you're not delusional.

guess that i was manipulative.

use me just like i used you.

i can't help but wish that it was you.

remember when we talked so long, quiet behind bedroom walls?

i keep my doubts in the back of my mind, and i still love you in the meantime.

cut me slack while i figure it out.

i've got things i don't know how to say.

i just wanna sweet talk for a while, whisper all the things i absolutely adore about your smile.

you turn november into hot summer july.

your heart is so sweet.

you know that i won't hold you back.

you know that i won't hold you back when you think of things you shouldn't, things you want to do to me.

i'll wrap my tongue around you as i hold you with my lungs.

i bet you wonder what i'm doing when i'm alone in my room.

i'm telling you it comes easy when i'm thinking about you.

forgive me for i love being bad for you.

i'll be your goddess.

bet i know exactly what you're doing when you're alone in your room.

tell me if you're having trouble, and i'm sure i could help you.

i give you your pride.

i am all yours and you are all mine.

go ahead, run free.

it's alright now, you're just high now.

why are you so locked up in lies?

it's your life, do what you want to.

don't you know you could have the truth?

you say i'm boring, so you ignore me.

you hear the phone ring, so you ignore me.

look at your daddy, he hates lying.

look at your mama, now she's crying.

you got everything and more than enough.

i wanna die young.

i don't know how i lost myself.

all i know is i've got more than enough, and i think i know now what i really want.

i think i want love, i want to be loved, wanna find love.

i sure as hell don't wanna die young.

[codenamehazard]

.:Walkabout:.

Chapter 34: Walkabout

Hey guys!

Sorry for the gap! Life stuff got in the way again and I'm currently rearranging my schedule to make sure things get done and all that. All the stuff that goes into adulting. So things still might be a bit sporadic for a bit, but I didn't forget!

Anyways, here's chapter 34! Hope you enjoy!

Without delay, let's jump in!

-------

“I can't believe I’m going through this bullshit." 

I growl to myself as I left the hell tent, promptly giving it the middle finger as I left. Once I’m on the move, I look at the folded note I was given, opening it as I go and reading it again.

There were instructions to go to Mercy Hospital and get checked out by a… “Dr. Sims?” Not sure who this guy is, and tell him I’m coming in for a quick physical and an energy reading…. Something about seeing if it could be helpful in speeding up Pangolin’s recovery? I don’t fucking know.

The note also contained a token with the face of a bear stamped in it, an indicator to others the sister I answered to and a reminder that I can “always come to them for aid.” I can’t help but to scoff. Right, aid… Like they haven't “done enough" for me as is.

The physical makes some sense, I guess. Last time I was anywhere near doctors were….

I quickly shake my head to keep the memories from sinking in. Last thing I need is to start having flashbacks of that moment.

The point still stands, however, I haven’t seen a doctor in years. Granted I don’t know how this is gonna work out but I’m guessing this “Sims” character is experienced with Conduit health and anatomy, so he’ll probably do a decent job. Maybe he can explain this energy thing too.

I can feel my blood start to seeth a little at my predicament. Here I am, back to being a fucking errand boy again. I guess the silver lining of it this time around is that it's basically my rent. So any money I earn, I get to keep. Will come in very handy since I don’t know if typical American cash will work since everything has gone to hell.

That and there isn’t some grand scheme over my head, just a simple “I can stay so long as I chip in.” Reasonable expectation, I guess. At least they aren’t tearing my life asunder or forcing grandiose responsibilities onto me.

I spot Mako and flag her down before we meet up in the middle. We catch up with some chit-chat before I ask her where Crow went off to as the last time I saw the brown-haired woman, she was with Mako.

“She had gone back to Mercy Hospital." She answers with a nod of her head towards that direction. "Duty calls and all.”

"Hm.” I grunt. "Seems like I’ll probably be seeing her again soon.” Mako cocks her head before I show her the note and the token I was given. The sight of the bear-faced token makes the Shark chuckle a bit. I raise an eyebrow. "What's so funny?”

"Oh nothing, I’m just not surprised that Bear took you under her wing. She tends to take on hotheads.” Mako replies and I groan as I roll my eyes.

“I take it you answer to a sister too?" I ask and she nods, pulling out a token with the face of a sparrow on it before we start walking.

Huh… Mako was put under the Sparrow bitch’s care? I wonder why, but that's a question for later.

"So, how did everything go?” Mako asks and I freeze before turning my head slowly to her, feeling anger starting to build.

"Woah.” I stop her. "Woah-woah-woah. I’m gonna need you to elaborate on what the fuck that’s supposed to mean.” I see her face go pale a bit as I narrow my eyes at her.

"You know…Your…Trial?" 

I growl. “Did you know about all of this?" Electricity starts to pop off of my arms as I glare at her.

"I can explain.” She starts, I growl deeper.

"Then start talking.”

She sighs before looking at me. "Tri-Point tends to attract the misfits of society… The lost, the wandering, the outcasts, you know… The types that would run away and join the circus and all that.” I can help but to roll my eyes at that, how fitting. Though I can't help but to think that all of those words are apt descriptors of myself. Wandering, outcasted and fucking lost.

“With that being said. The Sisters Three needed a system to make sure those who come to Tri-Point are who they say they are and would do w-" 

“And that mirror maze from Hell is part of that?!?” I roar out, abruptly interrupting Mako and causing her to flinch. She nods quickly before continuing.

"The Trial of Reflection is unique to whoever participates and it's something that everyone goes through. It’s what shows the truth of a person’s heart!”

“And you didn’t think to, oh I don’t fucking know, give me a heads up about this?! Just like you didn’t think to tell me about the fucking Corrodium?!?” I snarl out, rage spilling out of my mouth out of control. “Something I thought we addressed back before we left Droptown. Did you forget the little detail about how much I fucking hate repeating myself?!” I start getting in her space, electricity popping off of my arms. Mako glares and stands her ground.

“Look Cole!” She starts. “I get it! Not giving you a Wildlands 101 is on Pangolin and I, I’m not denying that! We should have done that before we left and I’m working on trying to rectify that, but when it comes to the rabbit, I couldn’t tell you!” “Why. The hell. Not?!” “Nivens is a key part of the system the Sisters Three set up.” She defends. Great, that horned menace has a name?! “‘The one who sees the Rabbit must make the choice on their own.’ If I told you the true nature of Nivens and what you were about to get into, it would make the system moot!” “Weren’t you the one that encouraged me to chase the damn thing?” I point out with a glare. “You could have still said no!” The shark retorts. “You’re a grown ass man, like you always point out! I can’t make you do anything you didn’t want to do!”

This statement stops my rage in its tracks, causing me to pause and think. Mako’s right, while yeah; she egged me on, I’m still the one who ultimately made the call to fall for the rabbit’s taunting and give into impulse. 

Speaking of choices, I remembered that was a big topic that the woodland bitches latched onto, choice or more specifically, my lack of it. My entire life was pretty much planned out before I was even a twinkle in my dad’s eye. Planned out hundreds of years in advance by the failure of a future self that bastard was and even after I broke free from his designs by siding with John, I only found myself in the chains of another grand design when John shirked his responsibilities and forced them onto my shoulders. Responsibilities that weren’t mine to bear.

Ditching the ball-and-chain that was Kuo and John’s army was the first time I ever made a choice that was completely and wholly of my own will and discretion, no bigger scheme, no grand destiny, nothing. Just a man taking back his autonomy. Ever since that day, I’ve had more freedom and choice than I ever had in my entire life. It’s only now that I’m truly and fully seeing this.

Hell, I have so much freedom now that… I’m not even quite sure what to do with it all.

I guess that I’ve become so used to my life being decided for me and my choices being as meaningful as piss in the ocean that without some puppet-master bullshit pulling the strings or some grand plan invalidating my autonomy that I’m used to it. So much so that without some outside force controlling my fate or me rebelling against said controlled fate, I really… Don’t know who exactly I am anymore. I thought I did, but now… I’m not sure.

As much as I hate to admit it…. And I really fucking hate to admit it, Deer was right. I have become disillusioned and lost.

“... Cole?” Mako’s voice penetrates through the whirlwind in my head, causing me to jump a bit in a start. The expression she wears is full of concern and worry, one I remember well back when she was part of John’s army, back when I led it. She was really the only one who'd show concern for me.

“Are you okay?" She asks, her voice tinged with worry. I open my mouth to lie, to tell her that I’m fine, but I pause. Lack of communication, lack of transparency. It's what's getting us into these messes. Seems like a common theme too, one that needs to break. Best start with myself.

"No.” I snap before taking a breath. “No, I’m not okay…” I see Mako about to say something, but I put my hand up. “With the hell I just went through in that madhouse, I need time to think… Process everything.”

Mako pauses, her eyes darting side to side before speaking up. "Well… If you need a listening ear or someone to vent to, you can always come to me or the other Misfits. We’ll be here for you.” She states, I can see she wants to add something, but she seems to dismiss whatever it was. Regardless, I nod.

"Appreciate the offer, Mako.” I mutter slightly. "But this is something I need to sort out on my own." She nods in understanding.

“Anyways, I need to be heading to the hospital. Marching orders and all.” I state simply. She nods before beginning to walk off.

"And Mako?” I stop her before she gets too far. "When you make that ‘Wildlands 101’ class, make sure you cover everything. And I mean everything. No more surprises. I will not repeat myself a third time." I warn, my eyes glowing red. “I mean it." 

“Right, I’ll confer with the others to make sure everything gets covered." Mako sheepishly murmurs before rubbing the back of her head. I nod at her and we part ways.

As I walk, I rub my calloused hands over my face tiredly before looking at the sky, noticing the sun was nearing the horizon. I sigh loudly and shake my hands, venting off arrant sparks before continuing on. I don't know what to expect with this hospital visit, but what I do know is I can kiss any hope of getting any sleep at all goodbye. 

Because with the hell I just went through? There's no hope of getting any sleep tonight.

[blindrapture]

THURSDAY JULY 7TH, 2011 (Ciphers of the Blind Man's Book)

10:45 AM The hotel room window is a mirror.

10:46 AM The bathroom mirror is a window showing screaming skulls. Made me miss the toilet.

10:47 AM I told Donnie not to use the bathroom. She didn't listen.

10:48 AM "It's fine in there." What? Huh. And it's fine again. Yeah. Donnie's gone to get ready. I'm just.. looking in the mirror now.

10:49 AM You're fine. Yeah. You're fine. "Talking to yourself?" what "Don't look out the door. Look in here. In the mirror." There's. Someone else in the room. But only in the mirror. She waved. She's. A woman. Actually a rather normal-looking woman. Like, not a monster or anything. Uh. Hi? "You've been in here a long time." The bathroom? "No. I'm surprised. Normally people who wander in here find their way back out, unless they die. You two spent the night?" Yeah. And we're gonna keep going. We're looking for a-- wait, maybe I shouldn't go around telling our plans to every last lady in a mirror. "Ooh, you said something smart." Who even are you?

10:50 AM Donnie came and got me. Mirror was empty again when she came in. Huh. Weird.

10:51 AM Setting out! :D Day 2 of our epic journey into the heart of the rabbit hole! Next stop: ..somewhere that isn't this hotel world!

10:57 AM WHERE IS THE FUCKING EXIT.

10:58 AM We're lost! We’ve been walking around this hallway for a while now, passing more and more hotel rooms, but no elevator or stairway or even window in sight. And I don’t think either of us feels like stepping into one of these rooms. Especially not since all the doors are number 616.

11:01 AM It's just.. a big maze of hallways. Frequent turns and branching paths, any one part of this hallway looks plausible for a hotel, but obviously the layout is wrong. It's Hell Hotel Hallway here, hard and horrid.

11:02 AM "I hear something." Just keep walking, Donnie. I hear it too. It's probably just distortion or something.

11:04 AM Wait. How the fuck do we hear distortion, that doesn’t make sense! I hear a high-pitched whine, a sort of feedback. Faint. In the direction we're going, too.

11:05 AM The hallway’s getting a little narrower. Or is it just me? I think the hall's ending.

11:06 AM The hall’s ended. At the very end is a door. Room number 558. Opening the door. ..it’s locked! Oh god I hear footsteps. Oh god I hear a lot. "Do you still have that rifle?" It's in one of the boxes, let me get it.

11:07 AM Donnie opened 558 while I was getting the rifle. The footsteps are sprinting now, sounds like it's behind us, down the hall. But inside 558 is the next rabbit hole.

11:08 AM We just ran in and shut the door behind us. Now we're in darkness. How many of these "too dark" rabbit holes can one boy go through? Jeez. Donnie's got a flashlight.

11:09 AM The walls are bare and grey. Gray? Grey. We’re walking down a slope. The slope’s turning. ope Donnie tripped, and dropped the flashlight. No problem, we’ll just The flashlight fell off this ledge. Oh, I can see its beam as it falls. …that’s a long drop. o_o; Safe to assume I’m not seeing that one again. "Those, uh. Those helmets we were given. Do they have nightvision or something cool like that?" If we can find them in the box, we can try? "shh" I hear it a door opening behind us those footsteps caught up with us fuck well I'll just have to rely on the muzzleflash of this rifle for light o_o;; … step, step, step…

8558885885585885855585888555858885588585855588588555885585558555855885858558858585558588885888888555885585555885855855858555888885585888855855558558555885555885 My head is killing me. I'm in a classroom now? At least I can see again. "classroomone" just faded into my field of vision, like a damn half-life chapter title. I'm wearing my helmet. When did I put this on? I don’t see Donnie anywhere. There’s a window showing night. Wait, no. That’s just a blackboard. I’m not 100% sure what time it is, then. I only see a voice speaks to me: do you want to see? It’s dark. The helmet doesn't have nightvision, but it does have a headtorch. Writing on the blackboard reads “Obfuscation.” The door is The Door is The door is locked the Door is locked the door Is locked the door Is Locked The Door is locked so I open the door.

855588558555858885585885855888558558585585588585855588588558885885558858855585858555885585585888885888888555885585555885855855858555888885585888855855558558555885555885 Night (2) Hallway with tiled floors. Doors lining the walls. No room for lockers or posters or anything else. Numbers ranging from 101 to 1001.That doorknob just rattled.

Night (3) Donnie, are you okay? :c She’s passed out on the floor next to the door. Looks like she was thrust against it. But by what?

855855888558555585585558855885558858888885558858855855558558888585588588885888888558888585585888855885858558888585588588 Night (4) I’m dragging her out of this classroom.

Night (5) Out in the hallway now. I don’t recall there being two double doors there. I don’t recall there being an end to the hallway at all. Through the doors, I can see a man standing far in the distance. He’s wearing a theatrical sadface mask. Oh, that guy. He’s just standing there, feet apart, hands in pockets, looking at us. Is he gonna charge at us? Is he gonna creepily walk away? ..he’s turning around. And he’s walking the other way. There’s another set of double doors down there, and he’s heading for them. ..I hear noises behind us. What There’s another set of double doors far behind us, and he just came out of them. Fuck it, putting Donnie down, pointing my damn rifle. "Hey whoa whoa!" hands up, stopped "Fair play, I wasn't expecting that!" What do you want? "...I, uh, don't have a good answer to that!" Okay, well, who are you? "My name's Omega! Listen, man, I was just trying to scare you! I'm lost here too!" Okay, Omega... do you happen to know where 'here' is, at least? "We're in Night (5), aren't we?" What? he looks relieved "Oh thank god, you're here. Help me out, man!" ...what?

Night (6) ffffffffuck. My goddamn head. Someone else must have come up behind me, but I didn't hear a thing. Sadface man, or Omega, he ran into a classroom. And there's no one behind me now. But I was definitely hit. Fuck it. I'm going after him, into that classroom.

8558885885588585855585888555858885588585855588588858888885558855855585888558888585558858855585888858888885558555855888858558558885585855855858858558555885588555 Night (7) Oh god, what the fuck. Donnie’s in here. Even though she's definitely unconscious on my shoulder. The one up there, she’s stripped naked, held out like some fucking crucifixion thing, and held to some orbicular device by ropes. She's fucking crucified. The only things missing are blood and rust. ..and a crazed religious cult. >_> I think she’s passed out. For her sake, I hope she is. This is Donnie I'm carrying on my shoulder, right? … "Hey, how's it going." It's Omega. "It's me." Are we just doing a comedy routine right now? "I dunno, she's looking too Silent Hill to be comedic." Fuck it. I’m cutting her down from there.

Night (8) Motherfuckers, I’m gonna kill them. "Don't look at me." On Donnie’s back, she’s been whipped. A lot. The lashes form “THE HARLOT?” "I'm sure that'll wash off." Do you have anything productive to add?! "No, seriously, this place is a lot less consequence-y than it seems. It's a lot more like a waking dream. She'll be fine. Promise!" Well, how do you. How do you know? "You think this is my first time? You're in their house now. The Musicians' house."

55555555555555555555555555555555 Day (1) I awoke on a highway. It's one of those areas where you can see for miles; the area’s that flat and barren. Nothing but grey (gray?) for miles and miles. And the road. And the dark purple sky. Donnie's here with me, still unconscious. Wait, no, she's waking up! Donnie!!!

Day (2) She's okay. Her back's fine. She was baffled for a bit, but I showed her my journal. Filled her in. She's looking around now. "That Omega guy still here?" No, no sign of him. "What the hell was he doing?" yeah I have no clue. You sure you're okay? Any weird dreams, psychological stuff? "No, really, I'm good. I dreamed of being followed, but, is that really so strange?" I guess not. So you're good to walk? "Yeah. Let's go."

Day (3) We passed a road sign. It said “The Peisistratos lies up ahead. Take a break!”

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Day (4) I don’t know how long we’ve been walking, but absolutely nothing has been happening. It’s just been endless trekking. Endless. Monotonous. Lots of sighs from both of us. Rabbit holes, huh? "Yeah. Rabbit holes."

Day (5) A fog has surrounded us. We can hear things flying around. Flapping. I can feel humidity decreasing. Donnie’s starting to feel a pain in her back. We can see our own breath. I’m gripping Tiger Stripes. Hard.

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Day (6) Nothing changed. There's flapping, and we can even make out vague shapes in the fog circling us, but nothing's coming at us right now. So we tried simply walking on. That's.. working so far. We're sticking close together. Back to back.

Day (7) There's a bigger shape just off the road. Not moving. I don't think it's a creature. "I think it's a.. car?" Are we approaching civilization, or gasp "Look!" what it's a rectangle to me "That's a Door! That's got to be a Door!" well we can move towards it and see oh WAIT IT IS DOOR YES PLEASE OPEN, GET US OUT OF HERE the flying things don't like us getting close to that doorknob they're starting to whip at us furry tails, like giant dragonflies "I've got it!!" DOOR OPEN.

Day (8888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888 The smell of evening papers and mildew, much like you’d find in a study. Or a. Library. We’re in a library. An impossibly large library. Is this...? "You're here." o_o There's a man here, old man, cloaked in gray shawl, wearing black sunglasses. He’s the man who can flip through the books of our lives freely.

"The time is 8:05 PM. They call me 'the blind man.' My name is Tiresias. I have much to say to you. This is the Peisistratos. It is my home, the foundation of all human knowledge. Not long ago, it was to be found on Earth. But then the Rapture started, and now it is here, a waystation deep within this damned labyrinth. You have come here because you were summoned. Now that you are here, it is only into yet more madness that you descend. But you will do it, because you want to know. You believe that one can know. I believed this too, once... and perhaps, in time, I will believe it again. I cannot believe it right now, as I am forbidden from accessing my book.

"The time is 8:06 PM. My library, as you can imagine, contains every book that can be contained. There are more books than have ever been on Earth. I have a book for every human, with their every thought laid out in chronological order. I even have some books for Fears... you have heard of them by now, yes?" The books? "The Fears." Y..yeah. "Good." Are you a Fear? smirk "I have been called much worse. As I am a Fear, as I belong to the Fears, there is a book for me as well. But this one does not contain my every thought. I was chosen, perhaps I was born, to be bookkeeper of this place, and part of that responsibility includes writing my own book, by hand. I have done so for a very long time.

"The time is 8:07 PM. This book of mine, it contains the maps of the secret city. It contains the unpalatable requests of the beast. It contains the dreams of nothing at all. It contains the true nature of ferocity. It contains the flood that her evolution brings. It contains the fruits of chaos. It contains the twilight of the gods. It contains the key to containing the virus known as Indisen. And, yes, it contains the truth and true nature of Rapture." o____o donnie raised her hand "Did you just raise your hand?" "yes" "It's okay, you can speak. You're better off speaking, in fact." "Sorry. Uh! Can we.. see this book?" "But of course. It is the simplest request. It is only natural." pained smile "No. My book is locked. With the coming of the red sky, my book became sealed by seven locks. Each lock is encrypted by a different cipher, for there are no keys. And only the Lamb can decode the ciphers. Follow me.

"The time is 8:08 PM." He's leading us down a narrow aisle of books. Books in all directions. Even the floor below us is paved with books. "There are more books in here than people in all of history. There are more words here than grains of sand in the universe. "I have been doing this for a very long time." whoa. o_o "With the Rapture, I have become trapped in here, but there was once a time when I roamed the Earth. One day, if you two would be willing, I would enjoy showing you some chapters I have written. But first we must open... that." again: whoa. o__o That's your book? That's.. gigantic… "I have had to increase its size with the years, both pagewise and physically. Please, feel free to describe it in your journal." It's. I mean, it's a big book. Hard brown cover. Far too big to hold in my hands, or even Tiresias's hands. It's currently mounted on a large marble pedestal. There is no title on the cover, but there are seven jet-black locks extending across the pages from front to back cover, forbidding opening. No lock has keyholes, only drawings of.. what look like weird beasts? I see like a long dragonfly... and a beehive? A torso on tank treads... a mass of heads... and the last three: a lower-case t, a thing crawling with eyes and tentacles, and a regal devil-man-thing. "Hmph. That's all you have to write?" What? How can you tell? "Oh, don't mind me, just talking to myself.

"The time is 8:10 PM. Do you notice that four of the locks have already been opened?" Uh. Wait. ...oh shit! Yeah! Yeah, now I do! And so there are three that are actually locking the book shut! "How observant. Each lock corresponds with a cipher located deep within Xanadu." within what, sorry? "You are here." arms stretched out "The labyrinth of the rabbit holes, feared even by the gods, this is Xanadu." donnie "Wow!!!" yeah. wow. o: So there's, like. Quote-unquote 'keys' deeper down the rabbit holes? Three of them. "Yes. You will know them when you see them. Find them. Find the Ciphers. If you hurry, you might just catch the next train." He gestured towards a nearby Door, through which we can see the interior of a train. "But one thing more.

"The time is 8:11 PM. Jordan, you will return to this library in time. And you will find the fifth Cipher, though I don't know that you will decode it. I do know that you have gained the attention of the Musicians, and for that, I grieve. They are not like any other Fear. They will hound you inside your own mind. There is no peace unless it is by their choice. Good luck. "Donnivan, you will undergo a great judgment in the months to come. You will be tested by a Fear no one else alive has even seen. You will know lowness, and I grieve for you too. Hold on, no matter what you do. You will ultimately be protected in the carnage. I promise you this, you will be protected. "You two will meet new friends on your journey. You will face creatures and locations so sinister they can hardly be classified as 'monsters.' And if you're lucky enough, if you make it through the trauma, if you strain yourselves and drain yourselves and push yourselves beyond the limits you thought you had, you can come out the other side. "Goodbye."

8:15 PM This isn’t just any train; this is the wreckage of one. It’s freezing cold here. The pipes look like they’ve frozen over.

8:18 PM We’re having to bust down frozen doors. It’s like being in a giant freezer.

8:20 PM Exit, stage left! Waitwaitwait lemme do this right. I’ll be there in 3, 2, 1, KICK THE DOOR DOWN oh god does our box have an extra coat? This jacket isn’t thick enough for fucking Antarctica. And our fancy military-grade equipment DOES NOTHING FOR THIS

8:24 PM We’re huddling close together while trotting through the thick snow.

8:40 PM Sounded like some kinda arctic wolf howling away.

8:44 PM And that one sounded like a whole pack. Oh god, it hurts to run out here.

8:47 PM Fuck that sounded close Keep running, oh god Door where are you.

8:52 PM Cave or more flat tundra? Cave or more flat tundra? Cave or more flat tundra? OH HELLO DOGGIES Cave it is!

8:53 PM The snow on the ground around here isn’t as thick. It’s easier to run. I just hope the cave doesn’t run out.

8:54 PM The wolves have caught up, all six of ‘em. We’re not ready to stand and fight yet. We’re ready to keep running!

8:55 PM The exit to the cave! Light at the end of the tunnel! DOG THAT’s a big black dog.

8:56 PM The dog just fucking slaughtered all six wolves within a minute. The wolves are easily bigger than it. Then the dog growled at us with red eyes and leaped away into the darkness. …darkness. Darkness?

8:57 PM Darkness. Where are we now. Good question. It’s no longer ice cold. Now it’s pretty warm. Headtorches back on. It's a.. city street. No lights, not even from the sky, wouldn't even know what this was if it wasn't for our helmets. Eerily silent. Just our footsteps on sidewalk. Now, a city street has a lot of doors. Just gotta find one that takes us somewhere unexpected.

9:10 PM That didn't take too long. Now we're in… Look, man. It's just eldritch and shit, this time. We’re talking clouds that are actually giant, slow, floating spiders. The ground around here looks like ordinary sand. We’re on a small cliff, just came out of a green cave with green rocks. The cave happened to have a door on it that we exited from, but now the door is gone. Sky is blue, pulses purple and orange several times a minute. Lightning strikes from the middle of the sky, not the spiderclouds. Out of the lightning comes well done hamburgers on fine china resting right where the shit struck. Don't see any plants nearby, I don’t think. I don’t see fauna, either. Thank God. Y'know, besides the.. clouds.

9:14 PM The cave behind us, the one that no longer has a door, actually leads to the interior of a church. There are five beds inside in rather odd spots. They say “Rael,” “Victoria,” “Nicholas,” “Juliet,” and “John.” Donnie walked right up to the bed labeled "Victoria" and just keeled over. I'm not in a rush to get going. It's been a long day.

(Attached: “Look at me, I sound like a video game prophet character. At least I get better the more I see people. That library gets to you after a while; isolation gets to you after a while. It wasn’t always my library; I had inherited it from.. myself? Which would make it, indeed, always my library. But its nature is not to be understood nor reproduced: My library, the Peisistratos, came from the Empty City. After I escorted a Musician monopole away from his greatest creation, I woke up in the past. Five minutes, as a matter of fact, before the apocalypse– on the night of May 20th, 2011. Not wishing to relive the red sky, I asked the world for a Door and found one beckoning me in my local library. The Empty City greeted me with the stagnant but underlyingly living hum that every city has. The yawn of electricity. I spent a day in meditation, listening to the City’s hum and finding its lexemes. For the next five, I learned its language entirely– it has no written word; its synthetic syllables exist only in sound– and I communicated with the Fear. We became friends. I taught it about the laws of time travel, and it in return gave me my library. I took a day of rest to let books write themselves, and then the City dubbed me Weneg. I have been called many things, but of the titles I consider my names proper, there are thirteen. I will not live long enough to write my lifetime in full, so I will simply give a list.

1: [REDACTED], the name my parents gave me. 2: Thoth, arbiter of the gods, reviver of the fallen, leader of the Ogdoad. 3: Weneg, defender of Earth from the great coming chaos, against whom I fell in battle but still fended off. 4: Odin, or ‘Yggr’ as I preferred to call myself at the time. This was, in essence, my brooding phase. I singlehandedly started the trend of gods calling themselves 'Fears’ here. I also started the Sisters of Mercy, but don’t worry about that. 5: Taucherlunge– 'Aqualung,’ I was coming out of my new wave appreciation and wanted to call myself something with a progressive hint as a response– otherwise known as the time of my life when I grew up and spent a long time in the past doing stuff to help people. Really, just anything to stop my reputation from being a creepy old man. 6: Parashurama, or 'Kalki’ as people often called me and I could never figure out why. My reputation now much more warm and loved, I worked at this period on voyaging to other universes, bridging out to gods from cultures I had never heard of. Didn’t go too hot, but I also made a number of friends. Met Maat here, one of the greatest individuals I could ever know. 7: Host of People. I went a little abstract in my name, but at this point I was content to wander through existence with Maat, talking about the many things we’ve seen, laughing over history. Before we knew it, we were walking through a time before matter, and it was here that we met Sbomten, spoke with Rosendower’s miscarriage, and saw life in a whole new way. 8: Paineilmalaitteet, tarkkailija maailman– later 'Painkiller’ as an easier-to-remember but unrelated nickname. Maat and I split here, and I elected to use my newfound abilities to visit my universe again. See, all this time I’d had to rely on Tuonela, our nearest universe, to travel through time, and since there were no Doors in the world after the apocalypse I had no easy way of going there, but Rosendower’s miscarriage had taught me how to travel through time independently of that. All it took was a snap of the fingers. I would then learn the truth of the limits of time travel and.. well, reckon with that. After the Azathoth episode, I did more introspection. 9: Vesisotakone. This was the big one, my longest era. The Sampo attracted an awful lot of attention to our universe, so I basically had to fight the great coming chaos battle over and over again. I had to direct the biggest battle backwards in time, and it culminated in destroying the Tower of Babel in the carnage. By accident. I knew all this chaos had to happen, though. I understood the implications and accepted them gravely. Schrodinger’s Suicide, after all. That’s the trouble with time travel. 10: Magog. Thanks to all the carnage, people now regarded me as the harbinger of end times. That 'Kalki' title came back in greater numbers here. I tried to make amends, I assured people that I had saved the world. But I knew just as well as they did why I couldn’t go back to the present day post-2011. 11: Fresca. Lost in the past, Louhi turned me into a woman for seven years. I answered some age-old questions. 12: Persse. In which I slept, hoping come eternity never to wake. 13: Tiresias. My name now.

And that’s my life. I know my death at the hands of Sanche’s oldest son in that shade of a library in Nice; I’ve read every text that’s ever been written; I've been there for the invention of every concept there is to know; I’ve fucked up this universe just by existing. The world ends in a The world Write the words, dammit. The way the world ends is not with a whimper but with the mightiest crash ever amassed. Totality. This is why I’ve long tried to avoid documenting my life: It risks the events being truly set in stone. And it hurts to remember.“)

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[noodles-n-soba]

A general's intuition

CW: Didn't proofread~, bad jokes, a lot of time skips

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Masterlist

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Your eyes had enjoyed the vast views of Sumeru city, marked up by greenery and complex architecture. Situated in the middle of nowhere, you wiped a drop of sweat off your forehead while sighing deeply. Why did you take on that commission that'd send you to your own personal hell again? Of course, curiosity killed the cat.. And this time you were in fact the cat, about to get demolished by heat. The desert had nothing to your liking, it was too hot, too empty, too misleading, and there were barely people to talk to.. You were not too much of a stranger to the idea of nobody talking to you, but to put it simple.. It did not help to get you further in your investigation..! Currently you were sitting under the shade of a palm tree, patiently awaiting the sun's department so you could continue wandering in the evening shade.. It was annoying, you constantly felt the need to fall asleep each time your mind decided it was time to rethink stuff.. Eyes automatically closing. Gosh, this heat was working on your nerves and body.. Irritating.

The last few days you had been sent out to the desert to do more and more commissions, only to arrive at the scene and find out everything was already dealt with. You still got paid fully even though you barely did anything, even protesting about the matter at hand to Katheryne, but she smiled while saying it was okay. You didn't know who managed to do all your tasks, but you wouldn't necessarily attack the person for stealing your duties.. If you could laze around a bit and get paid anyways.. You weren't lazy! That wasn't the case.. This mysterious person just caused your life to become a tad easier.

Before you knew it the heat had taken over your head, you dozing off while thinking about everything and nothing. Even though this person completed your commissions, your main goal was still unsolved.. And you weren't planning on asking anybody to help you, you had to be the first and last one to witness and undergo such a thing. You dreamt of black screens, nothing really more.. Sometimes there were thoughts that even appeared in your sleep, consciousness somehow returning while you were in your personal resting space.. A phenomenal experience, but you did nothing. This sounded like some weird spiritual Akademiya thing, in no way you wanted to get involved with those pigs.

Never interested in the Akademiya, not even reconsidering going there after being spotted by some dude who called himself a teacher on the Akademiya.. Your gut feeling always told you not to go there, and you weren't mistaken. You made the right choice to follow the path of Adventuring. You made friends along the way , learned all sorts of other things.. Cultures, fighting techniques.. Yes, how great. If you were signed in for the Akademiya you had probably been writing papers right now in a room with nothing. This way of living would give you an feeling of freedom, not an open window that would allow the wind to come through in your room. You slowly got woken up, sun burning straight into your face. You cringed as you sat up, stretching arms and legs. Had you really been sleeping so incredibly long..? You were supposed to leave when the sun touched the horizon.

"You seem lost and exhausted, am I by any chance correct..?" The voice seemed so calm, but it made sure your body flinched and flopped around as you tried standing up rapidly to face whoever was standing next to you. You tried reaching out for your weapon, only to realize it had been taken away. The moment you finally stood on two feet, fists ready for hand to hand combat..  You realized that the man standing in front of you didn't mean any harm while giving you a dry face expression. You awkwardly lowered your guard, looking at your weapon in his hands. "... I'm not lost, I'm exhausted. Can I have my weapon back.. I had to depart way earlier.. I'm in a hurry actually.." You notified, holding out your hand and expected to retrieve your weapon back in no time.. But he simply kept staring at your face, not budging whatsoever. ".. State your business." He then brought out, you squinted in irritation while stretching your arm even further to hint him that you were waiting for him to place YOUR weapon in YOUR hand.. ".. Say, Mr. Wanna know it all, how about you hand me over my iron and I'll leave. You got no business with me here, I don't have the entire day." Your hand grabbed the handle of your weapon and tried pulling it towards yourself, but he held on pretty tight. "Injustice must be punished, so now.. (Y/n), what are your true motives. I don't believe you are doing commissions." His set of scarlet red eyes caused you to shiver, directly staring into your damn soul for a second or two before you subconsciously let go of your weapon. ".. You are the one who has been finishing all my commissions aren't you..? Why are you doing all my work...!?" You snapped rudely, he remained as calm as he was before as he looked further into the desert behind you.. Sand, sand.. More sand. Yes. Still, he knew this place better than everyone.

"You're trying to get past something that has been locked up for a very long time, you might pose a threat to the people of Sumeru." You had enough of it, with an almost invisible to eye movement you snatched your weapon out of his hands and pointed your finger to him. "If you'd just ask me officer..! Because you know for sure that you are allowed to know everything..-!" "Cyno is the name." You immediately gulped, eyes wide open while you slowly started realizing who you were dealing with. THE Cyno, ex General Mahamatra.. Oh, yeah, you were messing with the wrong one. Not even a minute and you sat back on the ground completely defeated, looking over the oasis you were currently at while you sighed.

".. Since I don't have any choice or escape plan.." Quite reluctant you told the guy about you planning on searching abandoned Ruins that were originally closed off for the public, searching for merely one object which included a remote like mechanism.. Nothing more or less, simply that. The words sparked some interest in him, lowering his own polearm as he extended his arm out to you. ".. I'll help you. That way I can keep an eye out for you... If I see you having any ill intentions, I won't hesitate to make sure your hands will never feel the item you're looking for.. " Of course, an indication that he'd cut off your hands.. Eh.. It's not as if you were going to blow up the entirety of Teyvat to begin with.

Days had passed, underground tunnels that had been followed led to nothing but piles of empty boxes and stone slates which didn't spark your interest. How hard would it be to find a REMOTE. COME ONN..! You hated how spiders would crawl out of small places once you pushed a single vase, or how there were those stupid primal constructs which were activated once you walked past them.. You were a great fighter but if you had to be honest, you didn't even needed to do anything.. Since Cyno would take them down in one single strike.. Every single time you heard the well known robotic clicks, he'd already pull you back.. Standing in front of you and told you that you didn't need to do anything.

… You thought you had imagined it, your chest just used to reverb the harsh sounds of the mechanisms… But the moment you came across a few Treasure hoards, him pulling you close to him the moment they circled around you.. You realized that your heart was beating so hard-. Eyes wide open you were frozen, hearing him letting out an annoying 'tch' before he let go and tapped your shoulder. ".. Not exactly the right moment to freeze in place." He mumbled, you immediately broke out of your thought bubble and unsheathed your weapon on the spot.

How long would it take? Well, if you told the tale to someone else you wouldn’t even try going into details.. It took you too long to find it… But you did enjoy your time in Sumeru with Cyno. A couple of months later, you weren't actually actively trying to find your item, but basically climbing ranks in Sumeru's adventure system. Staring at the blue sky, enjoying the fact you could just casually float in a small pool in this hot desert temperature.. What a life. The fact you finished your commissions so quickly every day, no stress at all and you could just.. Chill around..! What a great day again.

"(Y/n), are you done." Nearly drowning in the water you tried sitting up straight, hair ruined and looking like a gremlin once your feet were on the bottom of the pool created by nature itself. "What is your problem…" You squinted, seeing Cyno standing there.. No, he was the one looking like a gremlin.. Jesus. A tiny gremlin who RUINED YOUR SUNBATHING MOMENT. He nudged for you to come over, irritated you swam towards him and climbed out of the pool. "Look, didn't you notice the sky changing color. Why does it think it is that powerful huh?" Confused you looked at the guy while drying yourself with a towel you had prepared. "What do you mean, it's a.. Shade of green.. That's odd though. But why is it powerful..?" Cyno stared you straight in the soul, face expression as blank as ever: "Since it's always looking down on us."

...

You threw your towel with mach 3 to his face as you put on your shirt, shaking your head in disappointed. "You understand? Because the sk-" "Cyno, please.- " He blinked a few times.. Sighing deeply as he picked up your weapon for you and waited till you were done before he handed it over. "Hey (Y/n), I got another one that you will definitely understand." You glared at him once more before you snatched your weapon out of his hands. "... I'm tired of your jokes.." You admitted and rubbed your forehead. He silently waited till you gave him consent, knowing you would eventually do.. and guess he was right. "Go ahead..  But it's the last one. I'm hungry and I wanna have dinner. Also, it's on me today.." You notified with a soft smile on your face, Cyno shook his head. "No. Not necessary. Anyways, I'm sure we'll settle this matter later. (Y/n), do you know why I want to reshuffle the alphabet?" You cringed as you held your weapon tightly in your hand.. Why were you standing still here.. Why weren't you walking back to the village yet? The sun was already setting, and him telling stupid jokes wasn't making it better. "Well, beats me. I don't know." With a small shrug of your shoulders you started walking, there was no reason staying here if you weren't in the cooling waters of an oasis. "It's all for the sake of putting U and I together.. Forever."

You nodded, not understanding his joke again.. But you just let it slide, he'd try to explain it anywa-

"Did you understand. I just said that because I'm in love with you, so I will put u.. Y-o-u but with u as in the letter.. And I.. Me, Cyno.. Together. Just as a coup-" Noticing how your eyes were wide open, pupils constricted and body completely frozen he slowly quit talking. ".. That one was pretty good." He placed an index finger under his chin, nodding afterwards to confirm his own comment. ".. You.. Are in love with me?" Your face turned a shade of red in an instant, covering it with your hands and looked off to the side. "Feelings are to be spoken off, don't you agree (Y/n). Though, I don’t mind if the feeling isn't mutual." You shook your head firmly and grinned.. "I don't think you've got to worry about that.. What about a dinner with a few candles..? And let's look at the stars at this evening.. Sumeru's sky is surely really pretty at night.." You couldn't stop smiling, continuing to hop over to the direction of the deserts village. ".. So, can I assume the feeling is mutual somewhere..?" Cyno's eyes lit up, catching up with you in a few seconds. "… Eh?" You blinked a few times, he sniffed disapproving. ".. You're being careless, I'm one step ahead.. So.. I can protect you."

[w1tchsoup]

Alright, I did it. The post-game angst I keep referencing and then not posting? I'm posting it. @theranciddwarf will find this song and dance a familiar one with other variations of Hoshi. @piipaw @kharonion I've blabbed about this a couple of times, and here's the full context.

No way in hell am I writing a fic about this. It'd just make me sad. I'll just yell instead. Edit: Now that I'm done writing this, I really should have written a one-shot. By the time I realized I was practically writing one anyway, it was too late. The sunken cost falicy kicked in.

Hoshi's relationship with Gale is a perfect example of how love on its own is not always enough. I think after the better part of a decade that I've written about variations of him ending up in partnerships where things clicked into place with ease, it's time that he has a change of pace. Can they compromise on their opposing livestyles in a healthy way?

Had they not freshly avoided death after saving Faerun, Hoshi would have told Gale that they should wait to get married. He didn't regret his decision when they came down from the high, however. There's no better excuse to plant his roots somewhere and grow than doing so with the person he loves. He thought he knew what he was getting into.

Gale did not. You see, Gale was very Gale about the arrangement. He thought they would go home and things would go back to his "normal" of getting lost in his work, all while he gave Hoshi the life he believed the monk deserved! Everyone was going to adore him! How could they not!? Gale was never one to manage his expectations; he lived a life of most things going his way, doing little to combat this. To his credit, Hoshi only needed to give him a little nudge and Gale would float back down to the ground with him.

No nudges were given. Hoshi's brain had been wired by his adulthood, wandering from place to place for fear of who he is catching up to those kind enough to accommodate him. It would take time for him to adjust to taking up space in what is now his home. In his head, Gale and Tara were making room in their home for him and, out of habit, waiting for the other shoe to drop. When would his novelty wear off? He is 'competing' with the relative solitude Gale holds dear, his freedom afforded to him by his last lover not sharing his living quarters.

All that to say, Hoshi didn't even think about asking Gale to make compromises when it came to their new life together. He assumes that his discomforts were what came with stationary living. The problems that stem from this weren't constantly on the forefront of his mind; Gale took initiative on his own to make sure he split his time between his spouse and his work. The unrelated issues they have, he spoke to Gale about because Hoshi's emotional intelligence was one of the things he's known for.

The adventuring party's monarch of communication forgot to stare into the mirror etc etc

Gale was not (without real effort) a mind-reader any longer. He also had blind spots in his social skills that require having things pointed out to him to have them click.

Quite by accident, he started to unravel that things weren't going as perfectly as he'd hoped. It's a beautiful day out, Hoshi's sporting a dress he'd just finished sewing the evening before, so he figured it was a sign he should step out of the tower, go with Hoshi to market. At some point, he overheared an interaction between a vendor and Hoshi that strikes him as odd. Something about the phrasing. He brings it up later and verbally tries working out what the vendor could have meant. Hoshi then had to explain that it was a cheerfully delivered microaggression because he's a tiefling.

This rattles Gale. It brings to mind a number of interactions he'd been there for that now make complete sense in this context. What about when he hasn't been there? Was it worse then? Why hadn't Hoshi told him this was happening?  And Hoshi would tell him that it often happens anywhere tieflings go, no matter who they are. Getting angry only makes things worse. Some places were better than others, but he was not exactly in a position to get up and leave whenever he wished. That's ok. Good, even. Overall, this way of life was better for him in the long run and for both their sake, he'd learn to adapt.

That did not satisfy Gale in the least. He did noy push the matter at the time, but he was putting puzzle pieces together about what Hoshi compromised to be there with him. His livelihood, promiscuity, the thrill of roaming free for his entire adult life, the code-switching that's done around certain company that Gale is now painfully aware of, and, really, the vast majority of his academic pursuits.

It's a bad habit Hoshi thought he'd kicked already, calling the tower Gale's home rather than their home. He hadn't noticed it had slipped out until he saw the defeat on Gale's face and what had been a casual chat about furniture became a long-overdue heart-to-heart.

Gale pleaded with him to tell him that he didn't clip Hoshi's wings by bringing him to Waterdeep. The voice that used to fill entire camps has wilted over his stay there into what Gale can only assume Hoshi believes is a 'respectable' volume. His saunter had stiffened as if he had a crossbow to his back whenever they left the tower. He's watching his spouse curl in on himself, and when he can't even acknowledge that he lives there, Gale can't help but dread that Hoshi is going to leave him. What can he do? All Hoshi had to do was ask, and Gale would give him anything he wanted. That's all he's ever wanted for his spouse—a life where he'd want for nothing.

Hoshi is quick to point out that was not as if Gale brought him by force. He made the decision himself after agreeing to marry him, and his actions are not Gale's responsibility. None of these things Gale's worried about are due to anything he did. He admitted that he was struggling, but that his uncharacteristic behavior wasn't an indication that he's going to flee in the middle of the night.

His problem was that he had no idea how to live his life long-term. He spent the last three decades unwittingly waiting for it to end, so many of his strategies revolved around self-sabotage. The bad news was that this self-sabotage continued to be perpetuated through his attempts to save what he could of Gale's reputation. Hoshi knew how social circles in places like Waterdeep worked. They were talking filth about Gale behind his back for marrying a tiefling, without question. Lessons on how to mask around the upper crust of tailess societies had been given on the regular in his youth for these sorts of scenarios. Gale was likely not thinking about it, but Hoshi was and had made it his responsibility to save face. He didn't want Gale to grow resentful of him if their union meant he lost opportunities because of the pettiness of bigots.

The good news was that those were moves made out of planning for the future. It was a face plant in the right direction. He knew this was a struggle to grasp for some sort of control when he felt completely out of his element—out of his element being having a home with someone who loves him for the right reasons. Gale's had never been anything but supportive.

Gale could stress enough how much he did not want whatever opportunities were available to him at the cost of Hoshi being miserable. Anyone who would speak ill of Hoshi for being who he was had shown a severe lack of judgment he didn't want any part of. Whoever that tiefling was that they'd find passable, Gale does not want him either. He wanted the tiefling who possessed the humility he so much admired, taking up room with grace in every sense of the word. When they walked out that door next, he wanted to be arm in arm, Hoshi's tail no longer worn like a belt, that light-hearted tranquility on display. That hint of mischief, meaningful glances, inside jokes—all that spice is sorely missed.

Ghostwalkers. Gale had discovered the term while delving into his research on monkhood on his endless quest to connect with his love. They were the things folktales were made of: a mysterious stranger arrives precisely on time to defend the innocent from a crisis, then vanishes. The fewer traces left of their presence, the better. Hoshi would add more flare to the occupation than that, but the point still stood. This was the routine that Hoshi knew. Gale now understood. Because Hoshi was determined to stay, the closest thing he had as an alternative was making himself invisible.

Hoshi hadn't thought about it like that. His goal was to stay out of Gale's way. It was a compulsion that Gale didn't have a hand in, he assures him. It was a him problem. This is happening because he can't run from himself any longer. That's good. Things will be different, but they'll be good.

Yes! Excellent! Only it isn't solely a 'him problem!' This is between another person as well! It's harming them both! Gale has to remind Hoshi of a story of a man who went and did things on his partner's behalf, believing he was doing her a favor when she never would have asked him to do those things in the first place. Hoshi's not going to end up with a bomb in his chest or a separation, but they can't continue like this. The mistake of origin was making Hoshi settle down as abruptly as they did. It something they should have eased into. They should plan a trip as soon as possible.

Hoshi did not like this idea. Alright, no, he loved the idea. That was not the point. Gale couldn't just drop everything to go with him on a trip. That wasn't fair to him or anyone who depends on him.

Gale pointed out that the same could be said of Hoshi's position.

That did not mean there wasn't other solutions, in Hoshi's opinion. He could use a contact of his, see if he couldn't locate one of their friends to lend them a hand, no Gale disruptions needed. He could take more trips to Baldur's Gate from the recovery effort since his current was clearly not enough. If he recalls, all Gale wanted to do while out on the road was go back home. It would only bring Hoshi guilt knowing he got in the way of his nights by the fire. Tara would be so cross with them both.

That brought to mind another story for Gale, of the adeventurer and the wizard in the underdark whose tower had become a monument to his grief. He knew Hoshi remembered it all too well. He did not want that for them. There's a happy medium that can be found and they will find it.

Only Hoshi wasn't interested in Gale going if it was out of fear or a sense of obligation. That would totally negate the entire point of this plan of his.

What was one of the things that brought them together in the first place? It was the pursuit of knowledge. What method of learning together was mutually successful for the both of them? Getting their hands dirty going out to find the knowledge on their own! Gale was willing to see how five days of travel sat with him when they're not in mortal danger throughout. It's not as if sleeping in their tent would be an issue any longer. Stepping inside would be like entering a cozy cottage.

...Hoshi slipped in that it would help him in his writing. That settled it. Gale would go through to proper channels to let Blackstaff know that he was having a family emergency, which is what this was! He'll hear none of it from anyone who thinks otherwise, Hoshi included. When they return, they could begin discussion on collaberating on freshing up the tower, transformer it into their tower.

And so, periodically Hoshi would come to him with expedition ideas—small things like venturing to monasteries that are open to the public. There are a number known for their libraries. Try as they might, they could rarely help ending up sidetracked on their way to their destination.

As they both valued their automy, Hoshi dose eventually convince Gale that his venturing out to make his own trouble here and there would be in their best interest.

This had unintended side effects.

Never in all his years did Hoshi expect to experience true homesickness. He'd savor that ache. It's one thing to have someone somewhere eagerly awaiting ones return and another to /know it/ in ones heart. Devoting far more time to growing alongside his loved ones at home came easier then, especially with the knowledge there were more adventures to be had, should he so choose.

Gale, on the other hand, eventually became somewhat restless hearing of Hoshi's outings. Often, the monk would end up in a party or roping in one of their found family. He much preferred that Hoshi have company anyhow, in case one of their emergency measures of return failed. Endless writing material was to be had from the retelling of what his larkspur had been up to! Except... now that he'd been out there with his partner, these stories had a weight to them. They were living things rather than simply flat words he had the power to bring to life on paper in fiction. He could have been there himself, with him.

It came to a head when Elminster joined the ranks of companions. Hoshi had left alone and they had come back together. The damned thing was a construct and still it waltzed in with his spouse and ate the dinner he'd cooked for himself while Hoshi couldn't have sounded more delighted about their journey. He knew Elminster had done this on purpose. He didn't care. That was it. A valiant attempt to listen to Hoshi's infodumping was made, when at that point all he wanted was to ask if Hoshi could clear a spot in two months to take him out folk-heroing.

tl;dr: To be loved is to be changed. There's a beauty to be found in the act of coming home. The trick is, you know, both leaving and then going back.

It was super fun watching their roles swap. Instead of Hoshi keeping Gale grounded during a magical crisis, Gale has to lift Hoshi out of a mundane one.