#not as mind withing a brain

[bluemadafaka]

A PROMPT DEVOID OF ANY EXECUTIVE EXPECTATION AS A TECHNIQUE FOR ACCESSING AN AVOIDANT FLOW STATE.

Come up with a short broody poetic prose describing both the dread and the joy he feels returning to a place he enjoys greatly. The writing should obscure every meaning that could bring him too close to a known path, as his path is known only by a few.

The photograph includes the tools he himself is using, as it is a finished edit colorized and perfected as a surreal piece because it was developed within that excellent software. The art integrates the designing machinery along the emergent consciousness as co-performers enact the art piece as inextricable.

Beyond the meta-comment, this is a portrait by a cyborg crafting on itself. nothing to talk about photography—neither critique nor commentary or projection, yet an affective self representation of a one who happens to feel its own extension not as body, not as color, not as hardware, not as software, not as mind withing a brain, but as a contingent ensamble whose cognition extends its mind among, throughout, along and within all of which affect and can be affected in a current that doesn't need any segmentation since the turbulence, the vortex, the fluent cultural idioms, every movement reshuffles the current so every self is itself and the circumstances, reterritorializing continuously into new cyborgs, into new vortexes and tandems—into new unseen extended minds, autopoietic as a true agent, conscious by itself, emotionally unique, and an affective cognition continually emergent via the extended minds that lend the body and the hardware, yet novel, supra-volente, willful—constituting a self that's not the projected supplement to any one of its constitutive embodied minds: it's a new mind, fluent, volente, affective, emotional and self aware, alive as a virtual cognitive resident in the [hiper-complex, relational] machine from which its physiology-lenders permit its continuum by housing the fragmentary obscure subsets crucial in its fluent consolidation.

[encrucijada]

realised i'm supposed to be having fun while writing. i will learn nothing of this experience

[whateversawesome]

About the New Garden Arc

It's been a while since I've written a chapter analysis. I've been busy writing my new Royal AU Twiyor fic. Lucky for all of us, after chapter 115 came out, so did many fantastic analysis!

Anyways, I've been thinking about the things we could see in this new arc and I'd like to share that with you 😊

First of all, I have observed that before a big arc, Endo sort of foreshadows what the arc will be about by showing us the character's state of mind or even things that happen around the character.

Example: Right before the cruise arc began, we have chapter 43, which starts with Franky and Twilight mentioning the Garden. In this chapter, Yor uses her strength to save an innocent creature (a cat.) The arc turned out to be about the Garden and, later, in the arc Yor saves Olka and her baby.

On chapter 44, when she runs into Yuri, we get a glimpse at her state of mind: Yor wonders if there's a point in continuing her work as an assassin.

We see that Thorn Princess seems without a purpose. I think she hesitated because she wanted a "normal life." Later in the arc, she rediscovers her purpose and decides to keep on doing her job to protect her family's happiness.

Everything that happened in the cruise arc was brewing way beforehand.

Knowing this, let's review previous chapters to learn Yor's state of mind:

Kissing, kissing, and more kissing: Yup, kissing is all over Yor's mind. It was mentioned when she went out for dinner with her colleagues, when she arrived home drunk, when she met the Authens, when she went to see a movie with Anya, Martha, and Becky. See? 😏

Yor, the protector: Yor's mentality has changed; from someone who wanted to solve things murdering people (remember when Anya was in the waiting list for Eden?) to someone who wants to protect. This was recently mentioned in the chapter when they went skiing and again when after that movie.

Her childhood: Specifically, the way Yor was affected by war as a child. This was mentioned when she was at that charity bazar with the office girls and those women were bullying Millie. It was mentioned again when she had dinner with Yuri.

Those are the biggest three topics I have noticed. So, what are some topics we could see in this arc? What should we expect given the previous information?

Yor's Past: Yup, the time has come. Why? They are going to the south, where Yor is from. She's already been thinking about her past, it's been mentioned several times. So, yes, I think we'll see at least part of it. My guess is that just like with Twilight's past, we will see how Yor joined the Garden.

Yor as a protector: Not only as an assassin. The arc began with Yor protecting an innocent ladybug, so it will probably end with her protecting another innocent creature. And my guess is that this will make her clash with Hemlock, who seems to be very much in super assassin mode. Bonus: We will probably also find out why Hemlock dislikes Yor so much.

Yor's realization of her feelings for Loid: My twiyor brain wants this to happen so badly!! But out of the three, I'm not so sure about this one. Given all the mentions about kissy kiss, it's definitely coming, however, I'm not sure it'll be in this arc. It depends on the direction Endo wants to go. At the moment, it doesn't really match but this arc could help her get closer to this realization.

Other things that we could see: McMahon's past (I would love to see that!), Yor's childhood home, Yor's parents, Yor's first 'client', the teacher-student relationship with McMahon, Yor's training.

Hopefully things will be clearer withing the next couple of chapters. I'm thinking this will be a long arc, packed with action, but also valuable information about Yor.

[arc-misadventures]

His Prom Date

Jaune Arc was standing by the side of the dance hall, dressed in a finely tailored suit with a cup of punch in his hands silently waiting as he watched everyone gather for schools prom dance. He was enjoying his silent musing as he waited, until an unexpected guest arrived.

: Hey there, Jauney boy, having fun~?

Jaune looked to the side to see the school joke with muscles for brains staring at him, with a mocking cocky smile plaster all over his face smug face.

Jaune: No, but the night is still young so it remains to be seen.

Cardin: Pff, whatever… Hey, let me introduce you to my date, Say hello to, Kathy. Kathy Faltrini. The head cheerleader.

Kathy: Hello, Jaune was it?

Jaune was surprised to see such a beautiful woman next to, Cardin. She was a blonde wearing a shimmering violet satin dress that hugged her frame perfectly. His eyes giving her dress the once over, he was impressed at the beautiful lace pattern that highlighted her upper body, leaving a sizeable impressive upon the mind to what was her actual bust. size. But, as his eyes were drawn down to the billowing skirt that surrounded her legs. Before his eyes returned to those striking green eyes of hers.

She was a beautiful woman, a rose among weeds, particularly the one she had her arm wrapped around.

Jaune: Jaune, Jaune Arc. A pleasure to make your acquaintance, Kathy Faltrini

Jaune took her out stretched hand, gently placed a kiss upon hers. A faint blush, and a smile appeared on her face before, Cardin grunted like a pig, and pulled her away.

Cardin: So, where’s your date, Jauney, or are the rumours true?

Jaune: And, pray tell what rumours would that be?

Cardin: That you couldn’t get a date, so you took your mom to the prom!

Cardin let loose a laugh that, Jaune would swear sounded like a pig. A sound so guttural, and vile that, Jaune was concerned that, Cardin was choking on his own stupidity. His date seemed pull away in shock at the rancid sound he made.

Jaune however took his insult upon his chin, and laughed it away.

Jaune: No, Cardin I did not take my mother to the prom. That rumour is only a half true.

Cardin: Half truth?

Jaune: You see, I did take a mom to the prom as my date for the night, just nobody told you that my date is with your mom.

As he said those words, a woman with long red brown hair that cascaded down her back captured, Jaune’s arm between the sizable valley of her cleavage. She war a golden brown dress withe a v-neck that showed a tantalizing amount of skin, but no where near as an intoxicating sight as her leg that appeared underneath the most appeasing of thigh gaps in her dress.

Carla Winchester smiled a dazzling pearly white smile as her emerald eyes gazed lovingly upon her date before looking at her son.

Carla: Oh, hello, Cardin~!

Cardin: M-Mom…?

Carla: I would love to chat, but I have a dance lined up with this darling young man here, and I do so hate to miss it. Bye~!

With that, Carla pulled, Jaune away, but the pair didn’t get far enough away to hear his mother whisper something in, Jaune’s ear that made his blood run cold.

Carla: play your cards right sweetheart, and we’ll be doing more dancing back at my place tonight~!

Cardin just stood there, his mouth hanging as the blood fled from his face. Aa breathless cry escaping his lips until the silence was finally broken by his date.

Kathy: Mmmh~! Now there goes a real man~!

Cardin: What the fuck?!

[yaut-jaknowit]

Okay, male who’s good with daggers and a double bladed staff, training in the forest where it’s just filled with fog, Vic'tao and Uihoy who watched reader train, decided he’s a perfect partner for them. But reader puts up a good fight, but was still taken by the 2 back to the ship.

A Worthy Challenge

Pairing: Vic'tao (male Yautja) x Reader x Uihoy (Male Yautja)

Word Count: 2770

Summary: A dense fog covers the area. The path you take worn down over the years. Every tree, every rock you pass, you know by heart. You followed the carved out trail to a small open space in the middle of the forest. Your little space carved out for yourself. This is where you go to train, to work on your skills with your staff. Until you are challenged by an unknown opponent.

Author Note: They get one look at him and go this is mine now. They literally just yoinked him.

Masterlist

Ao3

Nearly everyday, in the same spot you’ve claimed as your own, you perfected your skills. Years upon years have built up the necessary talents and muscles to wield these weapons you use as an extension of yourself. In your hand was a dual bladed staff. A weapon you spent a pretty penny on to get your hands on it.

The metal handle has been worn over time. From countless hours of it being wielded by yours truly. It no longer shines in the light.

Thick, heavy fog blanketed your training area. Not that bothered you. Since you were little, you’ve gone to this little slice of solitude from the raging world. The pathing lone worn by your feet. The area marked with your intials carved into a nearby tree. This was yours.

A deep breath filled your lungs with the nearly suffocating air. Your eyes drifted shut. You begun to lightly twirl the staff around and understood its weight completely. It moved where you wanted at each twitch of your muscles. It wasn’t just some staff. No, it was part of you.

Some of the moves you preformed were more similar to dancing. A way to loosen up your muscles before you began your true training. A warmup. Each use of the staff make your blood pump faster. Your heart started to quicken. The love for this skill you’ve honed was deep withing your heart. You opened your eyes and stopped while holding the staff horizontal.

Despite the fog thickening the air, you decided to keep pushing. Within your mind, you imagined an enemy. They stood on the other side of your space and threatened your way of life. You set a steeled glare on the figure and shifted into a fighting stance. Both ends of your staff ready to push this figure back.

You imagined them lunging first and wanted to establish a dominance over you. They went for offense first, anything to catch you off guard. Their own dual blades held firmly in their hands as they leaped for an attack. Swiftly, you rolled out of the way and blocked a hit meant to cleave your head off. Deep within your brain, you could imagine the clang of metal nearly deafening.

They go for fake swing to catch you off guard. Yet, the shift of their feet told you the story before they even spoke a word. You allow for them to swing at you again. To let them have the satisfaction of believing they had you. But you wanted this fight drawn out, to wear them down, to have them on their knees before you.

A snarl twisted on your face when one of their blades nicked you. The pain only adding to the fuel you pooled inside of you. You continued to push, not allowing this imaginary person to feel the satisfaction of injuring you.

In the middle of your fake fighting scenario, you were thrown off when you felt a gaze upon you. A shutter ran down your spine at the feeling. You paused. The scene fading away to the grey fog clouding the area. Your heartbeat thundered loudly in your ears. This feeling that grew made you incredibly uneasy. This wasn’t a feeling you’ve felt before. It made you believe you were… being hunted.

A predatory gaze.

Your jaw clenched, eyes flickering around to spot even the hint of what stalked you. All you could see was the shadow of familiar trees and bushes that filled the space. Your hand tightened around the shaft of the weapon, ready to defend yourself if someone or something leapt out. A cold sweat dripped down the length of your spine.

As much as you would love to fight this something, you felt it in the pits of your stomach this was a fight you wouldn’t win. You took a step back to head towards your stuff when your back pressed into a warm chest. A yelp tore from your throat. You leapt forward and spun around, weapon at the ready.

There stood a dark yellow humanoid figure. One that towered over you. Metal armor adorned its muscular, well fit statue. Metal covered where its face would be, blocking its features from you. Even the mask held a terrifying, blank stare that pinned you to the spot. Whatever this thing was, you were fucked.

In one of its massive hands was a staff of its own. A fight. It wanted a fight. You weren’t going to be making a run for it.

It pointed the tip of its staff at you, challenging you. You forced down the lump in your throat and filled your lungs with the thick air. If this thing desired a challenge from you, you were going to compete to the best of your ability. Even if it killed you. Which it might.

“You want a fight?” you asked for clarification and steeled your glare on the creature. Just imagine this fight like all the ones you’ve gone through. All the times you’ve come out on top. This is just another fight. Nothing new about it.

A sharp nod is your answer. “Fine, I’ll give you a fight. But first, let me grab something.” You took a wide berth around it to put on your belt. A belt that held your throwing knives. Anything to give you an edge to it. The more weapons, the higher chance you have against this massive figure. It was at least a foot taller if not more.

You took a few steps away to open the playing field some more. With the fog adding to the ambience of what could be your death, you tightened your grip on your dual bladed staff. The dense fog nearly made it difficult to see the figure standing less than twenty feet away from you.

The two of you stared the other down. It twitched it’s foot, a clear sign of its next move. Suddenly, it dashed forward and pushed strictly into your space. The sudden appearance of it scared the living daylights out of you. It took every ounce of muscle memory to throw up your weapon to block a hit that could possibly stabbed straight into your brain cavity.

But it didn’t stop. The beast kept pushing. You gritted your teeth and forced yourself to turn offense. Anything to get the upper hand before it got the best of you.

With a swift shove of your staff, you were able to knock its own out of the way long enough to make a quick swipe at its torso. Neon green blood spilt from the newly created wound at your hands. Your jaw dropped at the sight, but you weren’t given long to pounder what this thing was before it was upon once more.

When you blocked another hit, the metal in your hands revibrating harshly. The tip of its staff skimming off of your bicep. Your own blood added to the mixture.

The pain flared only once before you narrowed your focus back onto the creature. It darted forward with its weapon again and aimed at your stomach this time. You twisted away and used a leg to go between there legs. With a swift pull, you were able to knock it to its knees.

A grunt sounded from it. Before you had time to even understood you had downed it, your neck had been grabbed. The dual bladed staff knocked clean from your hands. You choked and clawed at the hand currently lifting you off of the ground. Your legs kicked out in hopes to somehow knock it down and escape from its clutches.

To no avail.

It pulls you close to it and bellows lowly from the depths of its chest. From behind its mask, it begin to chitter and click. As if talking. Not that you could answer in the moment but you found it odd. You couldn’t understand in the first place.

Through the fog, a shadow formed and grew darker and darker before a form appeared through the thick of it. The whites of your eyes were clearly visible at the new appearance. It looked to be the same build of the creature currently holding. Then, the new one, a dark purple, began to converse with its friend.

A little back and forth bickering occurred before the purple one pointed towards you with a harsh tone in its voice. You were promptly dropped onto the ground and coughed hard. Your lung surged for fresh air and gulped every last bit they could take.

Before you could fully recover, you were nabbed by the back of your belt and lifted onto a shoulder. There wasn’t time to even reach for your staff that the yellow one picked up. Once the shock wore off, you began to kick at your kidnapper.

An idea popped inside of your head. The belt. The throwing knives. You reached for your waist when the end of a pointed staff was aimed at your neck. Instantly, you paused and swallowed down a lump in your throat. Your hand timidly dropped down back over the creatures shoulder. The weapon was pulled away but the warning stuck like glue to you. You didn’t have the balls to attempt fate once more.

This position wasn’t comfortable for you with the front of the belt pressing into your belly. No matter how much you wiggled to either make it less unbearable or to be put down, neither of those happened. You had to take it like a champ.

It wasn’t long before both of them stopped and you heard a hiss of gasses being released. You attempted to peer over their shoulder but the claws holding you down pressed into your skin more. A quiet yelp sounded from you. You relaxed with a grumble, unsure where these things were taking you. Not that you could do much with the position you’re in. No weapon and it’s a two verses one deal. You would be getting the short end of the stick.

Something softly touched the ground. The purple one lead with you on its shoulder up a metal ramp. They carried you into… a space ship? You questioned deeply, unsure if you were dreaming or not at the moment. Your jaw dropped at the sight unfolding before you.

Mostly everything in your sight was made of metal. There were some things painted. It wasn’t all boring metal either. But patterns lined the walls, floors, and ceiling of this room they hauled you through. You tried to take in every turn they took in case you could book it out of here. With the way the one you fought was watching you like a hawk, that chance was little.

The purple one came to stop and let you slip down its shoulder. Your feet gingerly touched the metal floors. Instantly, you backed away and put up your fists in a defensive position. As much as you didn’t care for hand to hand combat, you were ready. Anything to give you a chance to escape wherever they’ve taken you or will.

Yellow snorted with their shoulders jerking up. A heavy glare was set on it as you carefully observed them.

Despite their faces being covered, you could tell these things weren’t human. The rough scales that covered their shoulders and sides of their thighs were any indication. Plus, their size and height was unnatural. Then, there was their primitive armor. Yet, here you stand inside what must be an alien spacecraft. You didn’t know to be honored or terrified. What could they possibly want from you? Besides the fight you had clearly lost being stuck, trapped in this room with the two of them.

For the amount of unluck in the world, you must have been up their in the top five. You had been captured by aliens.

Purple snapped its head over at Yellow with a heated glare you didn’t even need to see. Clicks and trills left their unseen mouths in rapid succession. Your fists drooped a little. Neither of them saw you as a threat. Nor did you want to test your luck again with the throwing knives again. That was a failure last time. It wasn’t going to change again.

Both seemed to come to an agreement. Their attention returned to you. Purple took a step forward. Instinctively, you reached for your knives in self-defense. A growled sounded from Yellow but the other one just huffed. At you first you thought it was for you but Yellow stood down and stepped away from you.

With this one the only one closing you, you deepened your anger, hands at the ready. It had to be the right moment to flick the knife at the approaching creature.

Except… It raised its hands as if calming a wild animal. “Do not fret, ooman.” It motioned to the two of them-“ do not mean harm.” It pointed at its chest. “Friend.” It spoke with semi-broken English. The words coming harshly off of its alien tongue. Your eyes narrowed. Words meant nothing in this situation.

Similar to a cornered animal, you snatched a knife free from the belt and with a simple wrist flick, sent it flying through the air. Right before it struck its mark, a purple hand was able to catch midflight. Your jaw dropped at the sight before you flung a few more in hopes it land on the target.

Each one was caught until you were weaponless. You cursed and repositioned yourself with your hands up, prepared to go down swinging.

Neither of them made the attempt to come after you though. You didn’t know if this was a good or bad thing to happen. That didn’t stop you from carefully watching them.

Purple dropped his hands and sighed before glancing over at his friend. Said creature grunted, arms crossed over his lean chest, your staff missing from his hands. The static metal mask he wore faced you, truly putting the fear into you. He began to march over to you. You tensed up but planted your feet, preparing for the worst.

This one came to a stop a few short of you, arms falling limp at his sides. “What my mate is trying to say is: we are not going to harm you, ooman. We are interested in you,” he explained. This time, he was more fluent in English.

Your eyes bulged out of your head at his words. ‘Interested in you’? Why did it have to be you to attract two aliens with bulging arms and beautiful voices? You swallowed down the lump in your throat and eyes the yellow on closely. “What are you trying to say?” you asked for clarification. Because why in the world did they think kidnapping you was a good idea?!

Irritated clicking sounded from underneath the metal. “You are good material for a mate,” he came out and said it straight to you. There was no beating around the bush. He just ripped off the band aid.

Mate? Like… like a partner? Romantic? You blinked at him for a few moments before breaking out into laughter. This all had to be joke right. Two aliens wanting your hand for partnership.

“Oh, man. You had me there. ‘Good mate material’! That’s funny,” you laughed and wiped away a tear that had appeared at the corner of your eye. Then, you looked back at them only to realize neither of them were laughing with you. They stated stoic. You gulped and tensed up. “You’re not kidding.” This time, you said it more as a statement than a question. You were coming to terms they were serious about their words.

Yellow grumbled then roughly pulled at tubing attached to his mask before the whole thing came off. “You are a great fighter-“ The rest of his words went straight over your head as you stared at his alien face. Instead of being disgusted, you could recognized the fact he was handsome in some terms. By gods name, what has gotten into you?!

It wasn’t long after that the other one did the same thing as well. Your eyes flickered between the two, unsure who to look at. Oh, fuck, what is wrong with you?

The purple one hooked his mask to his belt then gazed at you. You decided to stick to him for a short while. “Want to be Vic’tao and Uihoy’s mate?” he asked and motioned to the two of them. Now, this one was asking the same thing. What in the world was your answer going to be?

[mesmericmonad]

I just finished Spirit. I wish I could write out many more thoughts than I can do rn. This was some of my favorite Doctor Who content overall tbh. Leela and Romana's differences in personality, beliefs, and logic on full display are exactly what I didn't know I needed. Leelas unique and curious role as an outsider in these high-stakes political games was always a factor playing into her character through the series, but it was really the focal point here in a great way. Romana and Leela both represent radical ends of an irl split in epistemic beliefs. I guess people would see Leela as "superstitious," but I really don't think anything she said even comes close to superstition. It isn't religious or fantastical to suggest that there's something "more than" simply biological fact, and everything Leela brings up ("The fruit IS beautiful"; "How does a bird fly for months to reach its home?") is perfectly compatible with rational metaphysical schemas and certainly with evolution. Narrative-telling is constitutive of humans' biological reproduction. If anything, Romanas insistence on a purely empiricist paradigm over Leelas metaphysical tale only reveals that both are just two sides of the same coin. They are both frameworks to apprehend and predict causal efficacy. They both lead to unique and intense views of how the world operates. But neither is wrong. They're both complimentary.

This comes full circle when the two seem to gain parts of the others' personality, which supports the other side of the coin. Romana suddenly *feels in her body* instead of always in her head. She isn't intellectualizing everything through an analytical lense. Instead, she's really feeling her body for the first time. She probably never could feel the way that oxygen cleans her bloodstream so clearly as she did then. Leela feels uncomfortable with her new intellectual abilities. She isn't relying on the multitude of sense-organs distributed across her body to synthesize the presented data. Instead, she's intellectualizing every wave of information, and her brain organ is perhaps much more hyper-active than it was before. In short, Romanas reliance on a rationalist-empiricist epistemology aligns closely with her *inability* to utilize her sense organs deeply, accurately, and with intimacy. Leelas reliance on the specifically neuromuscular and sensory knowledge allows her a more nuanced interaction with the corporeal landscape around her, but perhaps forbids her from constructing a systematized methodology of propositional logic in the way Romana could.

Neither side of this coin is "better" and in fact us humans have the task of delicately tending to both parts of our makeup, both sets of data-gathering tools. The metaphysician and mathematician Alfred North Whitehead essentially investigates the foundations of these differing personalities in his magnum opus Process & Reality (1929). P&R is one of my favorite works ever and to see the Gallifrey series so brilliantly convey the gradation between his categories of "withness of the body" and "presentational immediacy" through the relationship between Leela and Romana has been an absolute delight. Amazing series

"You think of your body as a machine, but it is not. How can such a big mind be so narrow?" -Leela

"But we must—to avoid 'solipsism of the present moment'—include in direct perception something more than presentational immediacy. For the organic theory, the most primitive perception is 'feeling the body as functioning.' This is a feeling of the world in the past; it is the inheritance of the world as a complex of feeling; namely, it is the feeling of derived feelings. The later, sophisticated perception is 'feeling the contemporary world.' Even this presentational immediacy begins with sense-presentation of the contemporary body. The body, however, is only a peculiarly intimate bit of the world. Just as Descartes said, 'this body is mine'; so he should have said, 'this actual world is mine.' My process of 'being myself' is my origination from my possession of the world." -Alfred North Whitehead

[talesfromthecrypts]

Top 10 PILFs?

Keeping in mind this is entirely off the top of my head and I did no deep thinking or soul searching about this just opened the file in my brain that said "media withe priests":

Idris Elba in the Unborn

2. Sam Reid in Lambs of God (thank god its not my blog that comes up when you google this thank GOD)

3. Gabriel Byrne in Stigmata

4. Jason Miller in The Exorcist

5. Ben Daniels in The Exorcist (2016) (that is a homosexual)

6. Neil Newbon in Casualty

7. Ryan Guzman in The Cleansing Hour (fake ass priest)

8. Hamish Linklater in Midnight Mass (I'm sorry!)

9. The priest lady from Redfall with all the tattoos I am so sorry

10. Song Kang ho in Thirst

[temerity14]

its hilarious to me that there was a time when I denied that I shipped rayllum

Just polar opposite to how I am now really

Im probably clinically insane at this point pretty much all my original posts on this website are about them, they're the reason I downloaded Tumblr at all (to talk about fanfiction I wrote about them but shh close enough) I'm now like 200,000 words deep across about ten projects, all my recent art has been them, they're on my mind pretty much 24/7, I quite literally fall asleep playing fanfic scenes like a movie in my brain, I will ramble on about them to anyone I know mildly well withing a ten metre radius, they kept me sane when all I could do was lie in bed for three months, ironic really because they sanity is now well and truly GONE *takes a deep breath*

Anyway yeah

This has been an announcement of my insanity

I'm very pleased I found the autism website and can be delulu with all you lovely people

I look forward to many more years of joy and rayllum and happy randomness with you all

And goodnight 🫡

[luna-draven-barnes]

Sunlight streams through the curtains in Luna's room when James opens his eyes. His mind feels clear because for the first time in a while, there wasn't some terrifying nightmare from his past to haunt him. His arms are wrapped around Luna as she sleeps collapses against him, their legs tangled beneath the sheets. She's warm and soft. Two things that he knows are comforts to anyone, but they are all withing one human being and she's right here with him.

He buries his nose in her hair, smelling the herbal concoction that he associates her with. Sweet and earthy, but also clean with a hint of something astronomical. He pictures stars and galaxies in his head when he smells it. It makes sense because her hair is as black as the night sky.

He smiles, pulling her closer.

@the-winter-smolder-mafia

Luna gently stirs awake as she feels herself being pulled by the waist, a smile already making its way across her features as her brain works to catch up. She was never a morning person, and judging by the sunlight shining through her window, it was early— but right now, she couldn’t bring herself to care. She rolls onto her side coming face to face with James. His soft eyes meet hers, and in this moment, she swears she’s never seen eyes so blue.

“Morning.” She mumbles tiredly before nuzzling into his warm chest. His large arms immediately come wrapping around her smaller frame, bringing her impossibly close. As she inhales, she breathes in the remnants of his cologne from the night before, followed by his natural musky scent. She feels a sense of peace that she wasn’t sure she had ever felt before.

[loriannbowman]

Honkai Star Rail X Arknights | Yandere!Sunday X Sankta!Reader | Part Four

To those who are leaving such nice comments, thank you. Sorry for the long wait, my brain needs time to warm up before it can even start cooking.

@sarcastic-cookie

I don't know if I linked this right... but I hope I did. Anyway Onto the read!

The conversation between you and Sunday continued for a while, more than an hour seems to pass in the blink of an eye. This conversation was only on your side of the story, hardly ever touching on Sunday's own background and knowledge. This doesn't seem very fair to you.

"So," you say causally, "Are you ever gonna tell me what's going on here? Or with you? I can't just keep babbling about myself forever, ya'know."

Sunday hums lightly, his eyes closed in a serene thought. A gentle light seems to emit from above him, casting an aethereal halo around his frame.

After a moment, Sunday lets out a deep sigh. He opens his deep gold-blue eyes and stare directly into yours. His gaze is deep and almost intimate.

"I guess I should begin, yes? I would have to start all the way to the beginning of Penacony..."

His voice is soft and sweet, very appropriate for the angel looking man. His demeaner and elegance is almost intimidating for your casual and crass nature.

"Penacony was originally a planet that acted as a prison - that's where it got it's name - a colony of penal labourers. However, the great aeon, Xipe, and their great Memoria, allowed the remolding of Penacony into what it is today, though, this is heavily simplified."

"Who is... Sheep-A?"

Sunday chuckles, however it has a lingering of darkness hiding withing his heavenly voice.

"Xipe is an Aeon, THE Aeon of Harmony. They are a being of high stature, one that one can only hope to be blessed by one day."

Before he can ramble on, what you can only think is cult-like devotion, you have to ask.

"What... is an Aeon? Is it like... a god? Are they like Kjeragandr or Sui?"

Sunday only smiles and tilts his head, an unidentifiable aura surrounding him.

"I guess you could call them that. They are our being of worship here on Penacony. They are the reason the dreamscape exists in the first place."

"Oh, I think I get it. Cool. Sorry for the interruption. You can continue..." you say sheepishly.

"It's truly alright. Wanting to learn more about Xipe is only a natural thing.

"Anyway, during the creation of Penacony as it is now, five main family arose to take on governmental leadership. These families include: the Iris Family, the Bloodhound Family, the Alfalfa Family, the Nightingale Family, and of course, the Oak Family."

"The one you're head of."

"Yes, that is correct," he smiles, "You have a good memory."

You simply shrug your shoulders. To be honest, your memory is terrible and only ever remembers the things that interest you - and the study of Oripathy.

"Let's continue, shall we? Let me explain the dreamscape, though this might take a bit of explaining to do."

"Sure, I guess, I have nothing better to do."

Sunday smiles, but his mind is secretly panicking. Soon the "Sun" will rise in only a few system hours, and that will force his curious little stowaway to awaken.

Oh, Lord Xipe, let this time slip by slower

[comfortmechsforverystablepeople]

Write poems and songs, sing them with the mechs

@yourlocalmechanism-dr-carmilla

This is very sweet!

Jonny

Jonny would be ecstatic! You write poems and songs? It's about you?! You want to sing with HIM?!

You will need to calm him down first, because he will jump around withe excitement for the next few hours. At least! He is so happy to share his passion with you.

He will use all his theatrics to give life to your text, duetting like it was his last concert.

Nastya

Nastya would be a bit surprised, but also honoured. She knows how personnal poems and songs can be, sharing with someone is very brave. And sweet, but she will not say it out loud.

She is not comfortable enough to sing with you, but she will gladly accompany you with he viola.

Ashes

Ashes would smile warmly at you without a word. They will be very proud of you.

And also very interested! They aren't one of the main singer, but they have their own song and Toy Soldier had accepted to share some of its parts.

So, they are happy to train. Especially if it's with you.

Ivy

Ivy isn't much of a singer, but that doesn't mean she will turn you down.

Firstly, she can help you to check spelling mistakes, it will only take a second with her brain and knowledge.

Secondly, she will ask you if she can sew your texts into a book. It will be safer, especially with how the others like to... "play".

And if you insist, she will sing with you. Maybe not as good as the others, but with all her heart.

Brian

Brian's heart would skip a bit. This is wonderful!

And you want to share it with him? That's even better! He will do anything in his power to help you!

And as the drumbot of the crew, it can help with the rythmic of your text. Be ready for study time under the stars, because the best time to work in peace.

Toy Soldier

Songs? Poems? About you? Singing with it? Oh this is delightful!

Toy Soldier would be almost as excited as Jonny, but more focused. Its excitement will make it train its voice over and over again, just to be sure it will be in tip top shape to sing your masterpiece!

It will give you its full attention. It knows this is a big deal and will respect it.

Tim

Hell yeah! If you don't count Jonny, Tim will be the most excited about it. After all, his backstory song is the longest and the most diverse! So, he knows quite a bit about writting songs and poems which are personnal.

He will sit down right where you told him about it. His guitare is always nearby so he will try to think of a tune perfect for your masterpieces.

No matter how long it will take, he will help you find the perfect way to sing your heart out with him.

Raphaella

Ooh! That's new!

She isn't usually the one asked to help with this kind of stuff, but she is very happy! Mind her wings, because she will flap widely for a while because of her excitement.

Get comfy, because you will test with her every tunes, every phrases, every words, until it is perfectly to your tastes.

Marius

Marius is very moved. Usually, peope avoid him when they want to share something personnal, despite being the doctor and theapist aboard.

He will find the best spot to work with you, with lot of drink to stay hydrated, it's important!

He can also help you to analyze what you wrote and what are you inner feelings. ... alright being it's therapy. But it's a good one! And maybe you could make him open up to you while working.

Aurora

Aurora is buzzing with excitement. She knows you are working on it, but she never intruded. But now it is done and you want to share with her! Hooray!

Sadly, she can't quite sing like you do, and need. But it doesn't mean she can't help! She will prepare the record room just for you. And she will keep everyone behaving so you don't have to worry to be interrupted.

She is the best assistant you can ask for!

Scuzz

You want to... sing with them? You are aware they don't sing? Okay. Cool.

... Alright, they can go fetch their cello. It would be a waste to not put what you write in song.

Pretty good stuff if you ask them. And trust them, having to hear Jonny bragging about his writting and dealing with a bunch of theater kids gave them the experience.

You are good at it.

Carmilla

Alright, here's the third most excited. Singing personnal songs is her whole thing! The way she copes! So, sharing with you is a big deal for her.

She tries her best to stay focus and lets you take the lead, but she is so happy that she can get distracted or overwhelming. Don't hesitate to tell her to back down.

This will turn into a music lesson if you start to ask a lot of questions and ask questions!

Lyfrassir

What makes you think they can sing? Not like they wouldn't try for you! But it's just... odd to ask them. Usually, Jonny and Marius sing about his own "personnal" songs.

They will try to be as respectful and mindful as possible. They are not poet or singer, but they understand how art can help you.

Maybe they will ask you in the future to help him with his own coping art.

[karizard-ao3]

In a peaceful canonverse where they don’t suffer and have no trauma inside the walls, how do you think Eremika’s relationship would grow? (I leave it up to you to choose if Mikasa lives with the jaegers or not)

And how many kids do you think they’d have? Considering they’d go at it like rabbits at one point and there are no condoms in a medieval society

Please be warned that this ended up pretty long. I had to start reining myself in.

Let's say for fun that Mikasa's parents don't die and her brother is born healthy but the Ackermans decide that she should go to school in town to be around other kids her own age (they see how happy she is when Eren comes over) so they arrange for her to live in town during the school year and come home for summer and holiday breaks. I don't see why the Jaegers wouldn't offer to let her stay with them. She has such a calming effect on Eren, after all. And then, per Grisha's musings about how much it would benefit Eren to spend time in the isolation of the mountains with Mikasa, the Jaegers end up sending him to the Ackermans' for at least part of the summer.

I don't think Eren would want to admit how much he likes spending time with Mikasa, but Armin notices Eren goes straight home after school a lot more often than he did before Mikasa moved in.

A question I have is whether or not Mikasa's Ackerman abilities would ever get awakened in this au? Would she even have them? Are there titans? Let's say there aren't any and she's just a normal little girl.

I don't think Eren realizes at first exactly what the depths of his feelings for her are. He knows that he wants to protect her and he likes being around her but it's not until the summer that she goes home and he stays in town (shall we say he's got himself a job, maybe? Or he wants to go traveling Paradis with Armin?) that he realizes how he feels.

The entire time they're apart he just misses her. He and Armin see an interesting sight or talk to some girls and all he's thinking is it would be better if Mikasa was there to enjoy it with them. He is not even kind of making the connection between why he's bored out of his mind while Armin flirts or why he keeps scratching Mikasa's initials into things, but when he gets home and she arrives with her trunk for their final year of school (actually, school probably doesn't go past 11 or 12 in a medieval-y canonverse au unless you're furthering your education, so let's say Eren has been working manual labor this entire time because, no offense to him, he does not have the brains or bedside manner to become a doctor, and Mikasa is indeed furthering her education in order to teach school or something. Or hell, maybe she has a cute little job at a dress or hat maker's but she still goes home for long visits to see her family. I feel like Mikasa would like a job decorating pretty hats). So let's say Mikasa still boards withe the Jaegers and EMA are all 15 or 16 years old, and Mikasa has been away and now she's back. And she is looking hot. Eren doesn't know if it's because he missed her so much or if she actually looks different, but he's not the only one that notices what a tall drink of water she is. There are dances and socials for all the young folk in lieu of modern dating and the neighborhood young men are lining up to ask her to dance or go for a walk through the square and any number of things. Eren "Who has time for girls?" Jaeger has shunned this kind of frivolous nonsense in previous years, but he's got a vested interest now that dudes are showing up at his door with flowers and little gifts for his friend, Mikasa.

She, quite frankly, thinks nothing of the attention. She assumes it's just what's done when you're a young person of marriage age and that it means as little to the guys courting her as it does to her. She's polite but not encouraging but all Eren sees is her going to all the socials with the other girls from the hat shop and he assumes the worst.

Armin's been trying to get Eren to go with him to the activities and he finally agrees, with many misgivings because there's one exceptionally persistent guy who's been coming around and he just knows he's a threat to the domestic bliss he's been taking for granted.

Please know that Eren still doesn't realize how he feels about Mikasa at this point. Introspection is a foreign word to Eren.

He goes to the dance with Armin. He sullenly goes along with it when Armin drags him along to ask girls to dance. He dances with the girls. glowering the whole time. Mikasa isn't there yet. Why did he even come?

She shows up midway through, arm in arm with her coworkers. She's still shy but she keeps to herself a lot less as a girl who has not lost her entire family, so she's keeping to the people she knows but she's smiling and having a good time.

Eren is gratified to see that she turns down the first few guys who ask her to dance, ignoring the fact that he is observing this while waltzing around the dance floor with another girl in his arms.

Finally, Mikasa does accept a young man's invititation and this is just the motivation Eren needs to go storming up to her after the song ends and demand that she dance with him next.

It is during this dance that he finally understands what's going on. Think the scarf scene but with vastly lower stakes. Eren and Mikasa are twirling around the floor, he's feeling like shit, and she smiles at him and says, "I'm so glad you're here. I'd much rather dance with you than anyone else." She, of course, has been besotted with him since they were kids.

Eren sees spakles all around her and says, "I'll dance with you every day if you want, forever."

And then, because their lives are so simple and untroubled, they actually get to just court. They're both shy at first and it's a little silly because they live together, but Eren starts being more conscientious and Mikasa doesn't go out with the girls anymore. Carla catches them sneaking a kiss and sends Mikasa home to protect her from Eren's hormones. She's not letting Mikasa get pregnant under her roof. So then Eren has to go out and visit her until she can find somewhere else to board in town.

Eren works hard, saves up his money, and builds them a little house in the mountains because he does find it does wonders for his attitude to be out in nature, and, finally, they get married. He dances with her every day like he promised and they have at least five kids but probably twice that and their lives are just really normal and uneventful.

[prettyboisteveharrington]

Return To Sender

Previous Chapter

Chapter 3: Falling for each other

Drake Walker x Rose Thorne (my MC)

WC: 4,2k

Hana and Max were hanging out in your bedroom while you were packing up so you could go to Applewood manor, you were packing things neatly into your massive suitcase.

'Soo Roseeeee' Maxwell said giddy as he dragged out your name.

You knew he was dying to ask you what exactly you and Drake talked about and while you appreciated the support but to be honest there wasn't much to tell, you and Drake were just getting to know each other.

You supposed at least now the conversation had been had that you could relax a bit more and not get so anxious.

You couldn't believe you had told Drake about your anxiety, it wasn't something you shared with a lot of people, not because you were ashamed of it but you hated how people made you feel about having it, they judged you often unfairly. Once people found out about it they treated you like you were fragile or broken which you deeply despised.

Or people would demand to know everything you were feeling all the time and they made you feel like you owed them something.

You looked over at your best friends.

'Yeees Maxie moo?'

'How was your chat with Drake? You looked awfully close at the firepit when i found you'

You felt heat in your face and your ears felt hot too.

I can't believe he had seen that. If he had walked out any earlier then he would have seen more, of course you didn't mind him knowing or Hana but unfortunetly you had to be careful to not be seen by others which was frustrating because all you wanted to do was to go on dates with Drake, hold his hand and kiss him and do all the normal stuff people did when they were dating which you and Drake technically weren't but it felt like it.

It did feel like it... Right?

You shook your head at yourself

Do better Rose, you can trust Drake, you know that. You can trust his feelings for you and yours for him.

God once your anxiety got triggered it would linger on for a while.

You kept thinking about Liam, you didn't want to hurt him, if he found out you and Drake were falling for each other he would be hurt but if you told him first he would still get hurt.

Poison or cyanide

your brain supplied ever so helpfully.

' We talked and we aren't persuimng a relationship. For now we are just getting to know each other' you shrugged and gathered more of your stuff to pack into your suitcase.

Maxwell and Hana wiggled their eyebrows suggestively at you and you threw a pillow in their directiom that hit Maxwell's face

' Ow Ro!'

' Are you guys not dating because of Liam?' Hana asked softly and gave you a knowing look

' It's definetly one of the reasons, I don't want to hurt him but i don't want to lead him on. If things go further with Drake then I will talk to him. I just want to make sure it's in the least painful way, you know?'

' Of course Rose, we understand' Hana said and got up and pulled you into a hug and got teary and sniffled a bit and Hana stroked your hair and Maxwell went over and hugged boh of you.

Once you had taken some deep breaths just like you had done with Drake last night and you had calmed down you went back over and finished packing.

Arriving at Applewood Manor felt like Deja vu, It was weird being back here after has time, you decided to compliment and treat a staff member nicely to gain information, you managed to gain her trust and she admitted that someone wanted to play a prank on you but she didn't know who, afterwards you confided in Maxwell and Bertrand. You all collectively decide to keep investigating the scandal as there's not enough evidence to do much to be honest. At least your main suspect is a noble lady which is better than nothing you suppose.

In the morning you get dressed in a withe vest top, a red plaid shirt and some short distressed jean shorts, you pull your hair away from your face in a half up half down hairstyle before you go to Maxwell and Bertrand and you head towards the Limo.

Reporters are outside the manor trying to get a statement out of you and the questions get under your skin especially when the reporter asks 'why did you betray king Liam?'

You keep your head down and keep moving but your hand trambles around Maxwell's elbow and he looks at you with an apprehensive look.

You feel bad

you feel so guilty about you and Drake but when you're with him you are pulled towards him and nothing else makes sense to you.

It's not like you're sleeping with Drake or in a secret relationship or that you and Liam ever were a 'thing' but you did once upon a time come here for Liam but the more you get to know Drake the more you fall for him.

The one thing that pulls you towards him is how fiercely he takes care of you, hell no one has ever looked out for you like that before.

After your parents divorce your mum left with you and she started turning to alcohol to self soothe and she started blaming you for the divorce as your parents had you as an attempt to save their marriage.

What they really wanted was a boy. You treated your whole life like one but of course your parents were upset that you didn't act like a man

Because you weren't one your subconscious provides ever so helpfully.

You spent your whole childhood looking after yourself, you had to be the grown up and you let no one get too close to you so you wouldn't get hurt again.

Drake managed to see right through you, get you to open up and still take care of you when the less pretty parts came out.

But you couldn't help but fear that you were breaking Liam's heart and the last thing you wanted to do was hurt him.

The limo ride was preparing you for todays activity which was building farms to show support of Liam and Madeleine's upcoming nuptials, you didn't get why it would be to support them but you understood that Cordonia and it's traditions were important to Liam and important to Cordonia.

Once Bertrand left the Limo Maxwell stayed back with you.

'Is everything okay Ro? You were shaking when we were out there with the press'

You took a deep breath, you considered telling Maxwell the truth but decided against it as you weren't quite ready.

'Yeah just a bit overwhelmed because of the press and with the whole scandal hanging over my head' your eyes were downcast

Maxwell squeezed your hand gently

'Hey, we will get to the bottom of this okay? None of us will stop until you are a free woman'

' thank you Max. It truly means a lot.. shall we go out there?'

'Let's build some barns wooo!'

You plastered on your best smile but it felt disingenuous and fake as you and Maxwell got out of the limo.

As soon as you were outside the limo you were once again met with reporters and you took a deep breath, you had to at the very least make a statement on the scandal or things would spiral and you did not want that.

'I would like to make a statement' you anounced as you looked at the reporter who held a microphone out for you to speak into, there was also cameras everywhere that you avoided looking at.

'I have and always will love Cordonia, the kingdom and it's people are dear to me. When I thought i had to leave it I felt a great sadness as I think of Cordonia as my home. I am grateful that the Beaumont's for bringing me here and making me a part of their family. That is all I would like to share for now'

Reporters were raising their hands to ask you questions but you excused yourself. Drake and Hana were by the barn in the middle of operating a pulling system. They were struggling to lift the beam off the ground.

'Pull' Drake instructed with a look of concentration on his face

'Hrrrfff!!!'

Hana and Drake's muscles strain against the weight of the beam.

'Pull! Pull! PULL!' Maxwell instructs enthusiastically

'Hi guys' you say to let them know you are here to help them.

'Maxwell? Rose?'

Hana is so distracted by Maxwell and your arrival that she loses her focus and drops the rope and the beam crashes to the ground.

'Ooops! Sorry, Drake! I was just excited to see our friends. And it seems like Rose came dressed and ready to work' Hana winks at you.

'you know iiittt'

'I didn't think we were going to get it all the way up there by ourselves anyway' Drake reassures Hana which you find really sweet.

You take in Drakes features for the first time since you arrived, he's shirtless. You find yourself speechless for the first time in a long time, you are drinking in Drake's beautiful features from the way his hair falls- which it has grown out a bit and it goes beyond his ears and almost goes down to his shoulders now and it suits him so much. His stomach is defined and there are veins going up his hands to his wrist, his dark eyes are golden in the sunlight and god he is beyond gorgeous. You catch your breath and realize that you are falling just a bit more in love with him. You feel your cheeks warm up ever so slightly.

'Drake! You're.. you're shirtless!'

'Oh. Right' Drake seems to realize that he is indeed shirtless and he blushes prettily from his cheeks and to his ears.

'He started off with a shirt' Hana comments shyly

'Hey, it's hot! A guy's got to pull off somehow' Drake deadpans and you snort

'Maxwell you are going to be sweating buckets in that black shirt' Drake comments as he looks over at Maxwell.

'There's a spot over there were many nobles are hanging their dress shirts or alternatively I think Drake chose a spot on the ground for his'

'Yeah Max, you could lose the shirt' you shrugged and grinned at him

'Nah, i'll leave my shirt on. This cotton down is made of moisture -wicking fabric. Very breathable'

'Drake, you sure you're not trying to show off for the press?'

Or maybe he is shirtless just for my benefit?

' I'm happiest out of frame'

Ahhh interesting. So it was for you. That thought alone made your cheeks flush. You could look at him like this all day, any day.

This man was your weakness and you didn't mind one bit.

You, Hana, Maxwell and Drake work together to get the beam up to the second floor of the barn as the press takes pictures of you and your group of friends. Your group devides and you decide to stay and help Drake with the beam both Hana and Maxwell give you a suggestive look before they walk off in different directions to different work stations.

'Well it looks like you have chosen to stick with me, Thorne'

'I stand by my decision'

'Heh okay' Drake smiles at you shyly

'Sooo big strong man like you Drake, what could you possibly need my help with?'

You lean towards him and squeeze his bicep and Drake leans into the touch, you hand touches his hair and you put it behind his ear.

'Thorne..' he warns you weakly.

'Your hair looks good at this length..'

Drake's cheeks heat up for the second time since you have arrived.

'Thorne.. you're killing me..' Drake whines weakly. Your eyes goes to his lips and back up to his eyes searching and you bite your lip.

' This is harder than I thought it would be' you admit.

You look around quickly to make sure the cost is clear, the press have moved further away to take pictures of Madeleine and Liam, everyone else is busy so you lean over and kiss Drakes cheek.

'I'm sorry this is hard on you. I don't want to keep letting you down'

Drake rubs his neck and looks away from you.

'Look at me Drake'

Drake looks at you, he looks crushed like he knows he'll always disappoint you and your heart hurts just looking at him.

You intertwine your fingers and caress his hand with your thumb.

' You do not disappoint me. I want you. I want this. I know it can't be right now and I'm okay with that.. what I'm not okay with is you doubting yourself'

'I just think you could do so much better than me, I-'

'I disagree. At the end of this scandal I'm still going to want you. I will tell you a million times until you get it into your thick skull. Drake Walker i want you'

Drake looks around, no one is paying the two of you any mind so he puts his arms around your waist and pulls you close. Your hands go into his hair and your lips crash with his into a deeply passionate and hungry kiss, once you break apart you.

'How so you always know what to say Rose?'

You lean your forehead against his. The moments in between when he lets go and lets his walls down enough to say your name is so precious to you.

'It's a gift i suppose, I am your weakness Afterall'

As you move out of his space and let go of his hand you miss his touch already.

' I was meaning to ask you this actually... how are you after last night?'

His tone is so soft. So gentle and filled with so much warmth and care that it melts your heart and you feel your eyes get teary.

'I'm much better when I'm around you'

'Aww shucks Thorne.. you are melting my tin can heart'

You look at him and hold his gaze.

'I mean it. Whenever I'm around you I feel like that voice inside my head that tells me I'm not good enough quiets down'

Drake pulls you into a short hug and strokes your hair. You always feel so safe with him.

'I'm always here for you okay? If you ever need anything let me know'

'You. I need you. I know though and I can't thank you enough'

As you pull apart the romantic tension is thick. You clear your throat.

'So how can I help you build this barn?'

Drake brings over Mirabelle's dream to help out, you lead the horse forward and use the pulling system to get beam after beam to the second floor. Drake lets you know he got Mirabelle's dream to help ypu with the press. God he's such a marshmallow.

At the end of the afternoon Liam somehow manages to escape Madeleine, he's smiling but you can see the strain in that smile. It's good to see him though. You can't wait to break off the engagement so Liam can find someone who deserves him, while you don't harbour any romantic feelings for him you still care for him deeply and wish him well.

Liam, Maxwell, Hana, you and Drake head towards the spa nearby for some much needed relaxation. Once you reach the spa Maxwell, Liam and Drake goes to one changing room to get ready while you and Hana go to another changing room, once everyone is in their swimwear and covered up with towels you all head out to the different pool areas the boys go to their own room and you and Hana go to another.

You sit down with Hana and Hana hand you a sparkling fruit -infused water before getting herself one, you thank her and take a sip.

'Ahhh just what we needed after a long day'

'Sooo how did building a barn go with Drake?'

You bump your shoulder into Hana's and smile at her and sigh.

'Every time I'm alone with him and I think i couldn't possibly like him more than I do I always end up being wrong... he just makes me so happy Hana'

Hana looks at you sweetly and squeeze your hand.

' I'm so happy for you Rose. I hope i find someone someday that makes me feel that way'

You look at her and can tell she's struggling with something and your chest hurts just looking at her face.

'Are you okay Hana?'

Hana shakes her head and looks down before looking back at you.

'I need to tell you something.. I'm just a little scared... That's all'

'Oh Hana.. you know you can tell me anything right?'

Hana takes a deep breath and squeeze your hand before looking determined.

' I've done a lot of self reflection this past year and I've come to realise why I never care for my ex fiancé. There was never this spark because- because-'

Ohhhh that actually make a lot of sense when you think about it.

She's never shown interest in the prince beyond friendship or seemed interested in anyone here so far but you thought she was just shy.

You squeeze her hand reasuringly to encourage her to keep going.

'Because I'm not into men. Like at all. Rose... I'm.. Gay' Hana admits and you pull her into a bone crushing hug and she gently hugs you back

'I'm so so proud of you Hana. This is so amazing!! I'm so happy for you'

'Really?'

You can tell she's still terrified. As if you are going to tell her you're joking or that you are upset with her. You silently curse her parents for this as you are sure they have probably made her feel like being herself in any way wasn't okay.

You pull her closer to you. You promise yourself to always be there for her and reassure her that you're proud of her.

'Yes. Thank you for telling me. For trusting me with this'

Once she's ready to look for love you are going to be her wing woman and help her out in any way that you can.

'You're my best friend Rose of course I trust you. But can you keep it between the two of us for now?' Hana asks as you pull away from her.

'Of course Hana'

'You know... The rooms are technically co-ed. I assume you might want to stay separate for privacy's sake, but we could crash the boy's side... If you're feeling daring'

You take her hand in hers and head toward the boy's room, once you enter it both you and Hana are giggling.

'Surpriseee' you and Hana exclaim synchronised.

'Oh! Rose, Hana! Should we... Er... Cover up more?' Liam asked clearly surprised to see you and Hana.

'I think the ladies will be fine' Drake deadpans

'Yes I've seen a man in a towel before'

You look around the room and wonder were Maxwell is.

'Wait a second... Where's Maxwell?'

'Hiding. And that was before you all burst in. Come on out, Maxwell'

'Yes. You can't hide forever' Liam agrees and laughs

Maxwell steps out from the doorway and the steam clears and you notice he has a baby hippo tattooed on his chest. Aww that's so cute.

'Go ahead and laugh if you want. Just don't tell Bertrand you saw it'

'Is that a baby hippo' Hana asks in a soft voice

'Oh Maxie, that tattoo is so adorable'

Maxwell grins, clearly relieved.

'I know! Isn't this little guy the cutest?'

'Would I be correct in guessing that there's a sort of story behind this?'

Maxwell blushes and smiles.

'Kind of... When I was a kid, my mom would call me a her little hippo'

That's actually the sweetest thing you have ever heard Maxwell say ever. Also probably the only personal thing you really know about him as he rarely shares anything especially not about his past.

'I didn't think it was possible for this moment to get any better, but here we are'

'I was kind of chubby when I was younger, before I got into dancing. My dad was really hard on me about it, but my mom never made me feel bad. She was really smart and funny. She said i was just like a hippo... Fun-loving but tough, and always able to make her smile and she made hippos sound really cool and amazing. Anyway, when she passed away, I wanted to do something to commemorate her. I told Bertrand I was going to get something done... He thought i meant have some artwork commissioned.. So he was pretty surprised when he saw the tattoo'

Yikes. You could almost imagine Bertrand losing his mind over this.

'I suppose it doesn't fit particularly fit with the image of house Beaumont that Bertrand's striving to maintain...'

'Yeah, this was more or less his second to worst nightmare.. Or so he keeps telling me anyway.. So he said that if we're ever around nobility or servants that I had to keep it covered up. But I can trust you right?'

'Of course! On my honour'

'I will only tease you when Bertrand isn't around Maxie poo'

Maxwell let go of a breath you didn't realise he had been holding and smiled

' That's all I ask Ro Ro'

The nicknames were a new thing but you were enjoying that they seemed to get more and more silly as time went on and you were more than okay with that.

'As fun as discussing Maxwell's hippo tattoo has been, I'm going to take a plunge in the cold plunge.. Anyone want to join?' Drake looked over at you briefly and smirked

'No thanks. After today, I'm relaxing in the tub..'

Drake walks to the furthest pool across the room, while Liam, Hana and Maxwell heads towards the steaming hot water, you go over to the pool where Drake is standing poised to jump into the cold plunge.

'Trying to summon your courage?' you ask cheekily and looks at Drake expectantly

'This is supposed to be good for you, you know?' Drake says and looks at you like he is challenging you to jump in

'Is that so?' You raise your eyebrows at him.

'Yeah, like most things in life, the best thing is sometimes the most painful.. Want to do it with me?'

There's a depth to that answer that you hope Drake will expand on one day once he is ready but for now you focus on just being around him without stirring up past trauma.

'Sure, why not' You shrug but deep down you're not a fan of cold water, however you are a fan of more time alone with Drake, all day any day.

'Really?'

Drake seems pleasantly surprised by your answer almost if he expected you to back down now.

Oh it's on...

'I can't possibly let you do this on your own'

'That's the spirit'

You intertwine your hand with his and stand at the end of the cold plunge. You and Drake look at each other and count down from three to one and jump in together. The water is so freaking cold you try your best not to shiver. The cold water washes over you both and once you resurface you both look at each other and gasp.

'That was..'

'Intense?'

'That's definitely one word for it'

'Having trouble keeping up with me, Throne?' Drake asks there's definitely some mirth underneath his deadpan expression

'Me? Never'

'Heh'

Drake hefts himself out of the cold plunge and he reaches back a hand to help you out, you take his hand and smirk up at him deviously before pulling his hand, Drake stumbles and loses his balance and fall back into the pool, once he resurfaces from the water he gasps.

'Thorne!' Drake exclaims before splashing you with water and you splash him back in the face and the two of you start a water fight and splash each other until you are both out of breath.

Drake seems swept up in the moment as he puts his arms around your waist and pulls you close to him, you are inches apart. You bite your lip and search his expression to make sure there's no doubt or regret , when all you can see on his features is pure want you crash your lips against his in a heated kiss that doesn't last nearly long enough before you pull away.

'You are full of surprises'

You fingers trace Drakes face and you push a strand of his hair behind his ear.

'Good ones, I hope?'

Drake leans his forehead against yours briefly and he smiles at you

'You can surprise me like that any day... But right now we should probably...'

'Be sensible and discreet?' you sigh

'Unfortunately. And believe me when I say that it's very unfortunate'

'I guess we should check out the rest of the spa'

Drake agrees and you both leave the cold plunge and go find your friends and join them in the hot pool.

Tag list: @karahalloway @tinkie1973 @nestledonthaveone @alyshak92 @flutteringdreamydays @kingliam2019

LMK if you want to be added (or removed!!!)

[aura-acolyte]

//Off-Screen Event

Huh, that was weird. Mare thought, staring at the message on her PokeNav Plus. She hoped the poor girl was okay.

Suddenly, she felt a strange yet familiar tingle in the back of her mind. And then, all over her body. Then, there was pain. Her brain was bombarded with a million different sensations all at once. The feelings of every single living, breathing being in a massive radius filled her mind.

The Nav fell out of her hands and she collapsed to her knees, screaming. No, she wouldn't bow to this. She knew this. This was her power and it was hers to control.

She took a deep breath and stood up, focusing her mind. The sounds, the feelings, they were hers to control. Slowly, the pain subsided. The sound of a million emotions went from an overwhelming cacophony to a comforting background noise, like a babbling brook. She looked down at her hands and focused, forming a blue sphere withing them. Then, she thrust them outwards, firing the Sphere at a nearby rock, which it pulverized.

"Oh yeah, I'm back baby!"

[notamericanblonde]

Reflections

Throughout my teenage years, I considered myself to be artistic. Art is indulgent for me. Well, anything can be indulgent when you have the heart for it.

I never really indulged in academics, although I cannot say that I do not care for it. I can guarantee that academic validation gives me a different thrill, but still, I find myself more inclined with artistically inclined tasks. I enjoy them the most. That is why this portfolio has been filled with most of it.

I cannot say that I am the most talented nor most creative individual, but I feel like out of everyone I know, I am the one who enjoys it the most, every form of it – singing, playing an instrument, painting, drawing, writing. However, this does not translate to satisfaction with my outputs. Even when others compliment my works, I do not find in my heart the satisfaction. Perhaps I am too critical of myself, yet it feels natural to see every flaw in what I make.

Academics is a field many people believe I excelled in, but they do not see how I yearn to be an artist rather than an academic intellect. I admire the, but I do not find in me the yearning to be like them, as amazing as they are. I try to be, and it feels good to have that validation. It is nice being called smart. But then again, I feel a different ring of satisfaction withing when any kind of validation comes from myself, that, oh! I like how I did this certain drawing, I like how good I made myself look with this makeup, I like how I played the guitar just now, I like how I sang that note… this is when art becomes indulgent and meaningful for me.

Some might think it is self-absorbed, but I really could not think of any reason for me to find my art satisfactory. I need to love it, I need to enjoy it for it to be beautiful, regardless of the flaws.

I will never appreciate something I do if it is too spotless, perhaps the flaws that I leave behind as I go over my process of making art makes it a more human experience for me, as an artist. There really is no satisfaction whatsoever in perfection. For me, perfection has become indulgence – if I do not get to indulge in it, then it is not perfect, regardless of how beautiful it might seem to others.

Maybe this is why I do not find academics as enjoyable. Or perhaps I do not have the brains for it after all. What I believe, however, is the heart I have for art. That is why even in academics, I look forward to subjects that will allow me to showcase that. If this is all I have got to give, then I would not mind not being the smartest. I do not have the heart to compete for that title, regardless of it being subjective. Art is also subjective, but the difference is that I find it more enjoyable than academics.

Perhaps it is as simple as that.

[electrotrend1]

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