#not counting the few months back in 2019 that i had a small one i used when my big one was out of commission 🧍‍♂️

[bibodial]

i have forgotten how exciting getting a new drawing tablet is bc ive pretty much used the same one for six years

[pinkslaystation]

Tulips or Roses?

John Price x reader

In which you find John's old diary detailing his love for you his teammate and you begin to question his love for you. Word Count: 3.6k

Being a civilian to a soldier was hard enough.

And it was even harder when your husband was a commander for one of the most skillful task force. So it wasn't unusual for him to be gone for long periods of time.

So on a random Friday evening, anticipating his arrival in the coming week, vacuuming the floors, cleaning the windows, you found yourself at the door of John's study, with was decorated with a glass name plate, with the words 'Study' accompanied with a painted heart created from blue and pink fingerprints from you and your husband.

John was never the man to tell you off if you entered his study, instead he encouraged it. He's beckoned you to bring him his evening tea to him, to give him a massage, sometimes when you wanted him, he'd allow you to help him under the desk, if you get what I mean. (speaking from experience ;>)

As you stepped into his room, you noticed the ceilings adorned with sizable white cobwebs, cringing at the apparent neglect of his study. When was the last time someone had even been here?

Sweeping his desk, wiping away the dust, you find a box underneath beside his chair, which prompted you to lifting it up and placing on top of the desk. Man, you underestimated it's weight. You struggled to lift a small but heavy moving box, and it caused a few books and papers to fall out.

You cursed at your clumsiness, picking up the loose sheets, until you fingers caught the spine of a red vintage-like book, which had the word 'diary' written on the front. You didn't take too much notice, skimming through the pages until you caught your name being mentioned a phew times.

You giggle, it's a diary probably with John confessing his love to you numerous time! You know you probably shouldn't look through it, I mean privacy exists, but you just can't help it.

So you look through some of the infrequent entries, the oldest dating back to 10 years back, and the most recent one being nearly 4 years, when you and John had first met.

30th February 2010

Suffering in Afghanistan, the lads and I are stuck in the safe house for a week now. Rose is here too, I should ask her if she's okay.

Ahhh you remember this story. When the Task Force was stuck in the city of Kandahar, in the safe house. You also remember John's team, whom you are well-acquainted with, Soap, Ghost, Gaz, Roach, Rose?

You skip through the boring entries, most of which are just John documenting his work-out plan and the places him and his team had visited.

5th July 2016

Gaz's going on and on about his lass. Someone tell him to talk to her at least, he doesn't even know her name! I keep bringing it up but he keeps mentioning when I'll talk to Rose.

You chuckled, assuming the chick was Gaz's current wife. But the last part caught your attention, Rose again? You remember John telling you that she'd retired, went back north to settle with her family now, so you don't think much of it, I mean they are team mates.

19th June 2017

Saw a cute kid and her mama, wishing I had kids, without this lifestyle. Rose wants a son but I don't particularly mind. Soap overheard our conversation and spammed me lols on Whatsapp, but I thought lol meant little old lady? I am a man though.

You raise your eyebrow at another mention of Rose, why doesn't he care if Rose wanted a son? You didn't realise how close your husband was to her.

2nd December 2018

Christmas this month with my boys. Rose invited me over for a smoke. Ghost rolls his eyes when I mentioned it to him, says I need to man up and make a move.

You squinted your eyes, rereading the entry, and hesitantly skipping to the next one.

7th April 2019

Drinks with my men (and Rose haha, she doesn't like being part of the men). It's her birthday and she wants to tell us something. She's got her red lips again. I'm excited, Soap kept nudging me the entire ride, that cheeky bugger.

Then immediately below it, an update: She's seeing someone.

You're slowly piecing the puzzle, though you don't want to assume anything.

21st August 2019

She came into my room crying, seems like it's not going well, good for me. I hope she's okay and she realises there's better fish in the sea. She hugged me, she smells like roses, I love floral scents. I tried leaning in, she says I'm like an older brother to her.

Your heart breaks a bit, sniffing at your freshly washed hair, which smelt like ... like roses.

You thought floral scents were YOUR thing.

You continued, to the next entry which was marked the date you remember meeting John for the first time at the pub. You force a smile, hoping the entry would lighten your mood.

30th November 2020

In the pub and bored. Rose brought her lad... they're back together. What does she see in him? Soap urges me to find someone else but my heart is set on someone, for a long time. Won't change. He keeps gesturing to a girl on the other end of the counter, she's pretty, but like a tulip. Not like a rose. Not like my Rose.

You grip at the notebook and you try your hardest not to rip the papers out of the book and set his entire study on fire.

You remember this day, when you were dragged to the pub by your friends after being dumped by your ex for another girl. You sat at one end of the counter, with tears in your eyes but one look at that buff Englishman on the other end and your mood flipped instantaneously, 180 degrees.

"Kelsey, look at that guy, Mr Army over there." You beckon towards John's direction, to your friend., slightly tipsy after a peg of beer.

Your friend looks at you with a raised eyebrow, then turns to the guy whose piqued your interest, "You should go for it." She encourages you.

So you get yourself 2 drinks and approach the guy, more confident that usual due to your alcoholic state. A beer would do.

"Hi, this seat empty?" You smile at him innocently.

All this time you had recalled a look of fondness towards you, when he'd first locked eyes with you. You remember bragging about how it had been love at first sight for the both of you, but thinking back, a feeling of doubt starts bubbling inside you.

"It's reserve- you know what. Take a seat."

You remember sitting next to him, passing him a drink, and telling him your name, "...and you are?" you question, although you see him wincing. At first you thought it was just an army thing, so guarded that even the slightest of movements would make him twitch.

But now you're questioning whether he really wanted to engage into a conversation with you.

The following hours, as you painfully recall, was filled with you talking about yourself and occasionally asking him after his life, though he gives you one word answers and frequent nods.

But that was just because he'd just come home from a mission right?

"...and he just broke up with me out of the blue! Like was my 12,000 followers on TikTok not good enough for you?" You chuckle, attempting to crack a joke. He smiles confused, and you note he's probably too old to understand what TikTok was.

"Sounds like an asshole, love." He replies.

"Hmm, he was...I- I just don't know what he'd leave me for her...like I gave you my everything, I was always with you through thick and thin and what, that wasn't enough for you?" You trail off, the effects of the 2nd beer hitting you.

"I understand dove, you just give 'em everything and they just find someone else. What does he have that I don't?" He spaces out, his eyes falling on his teammates sitting at a different table. You follow his gaze, smiling slightly when you lock eyes with one of his smirking subordinates, whom you know know as Soap.

"Those people, they're your team?" You question.

His eyes aren't on you though as he responds, "That mohawk, that's Soap, Ghost next to him, tough as steel but soft at heart, Gaz on the opposite, funny lad, Roach, good ol' Roach..."

You look at the woman to the right of 'Roach', taking in her beauty. Though she's sitting down, you can tell she's taller that you by least 4 inches, with a blonde pixie haircut and painted with a dark smokey eye. A deep smirk is plastered onto her plump ruby red lips as she looks at John Price finally talking to a woman that isn't her. She raises a hand, waving to the both of you, which is almost instantaneously reciprocated by John.

"And her?" You ask, head nudging towards the woman.

"Her...That's Rose. You should meet her, you would like her, but who doesn't..." His chuckle fades out and you at how his attention was fully directed to her. A sinking feeling told you that you should have backed off from the married man, but it disappeared when John pointed out her partner, with gritted teeth.

Your hands are gripping the pages at this point, as you recall memories from the diary from his point of view.

You turn the page to the next entry, dreading the words.

19th December 2020

Thought me and Rose would go back to the pub for another drink for the holidays, but she's going back to his place. Seems they're taking the next steps with meeting the families.

Soap's annoyed at how I'm 'ghosting' the girl I met at the pub, I'm once again unfamiliar with the lingo, I'm not Simon?? She's nice but, not sure I see anything further than a friendship. Gaz and him are picking out an outfit for me, she wants to meet up for bowling apparently. I just want to be with Rose...

Clenching your fist, you shut the diary and toss it aside, feeling all kinds of emotions. Upset that John had never truly looked at you the way you'd looked at him. The way he never wanted you, like you wanted him.

Every time you'd seen him online on Whatsapp, but still hadn't opened your messages, he was ghosting you? Sure after a while of being friends, his behaviour gradually changed, accompanied with rapid texts, but you felt like this relationship was built on lies.

Did he even want to go bowling with you that day? Did you win because he purposely let you, because he was bored and wanted to go home, be with Rose instead? When he asked you to be his girlfriend, did he ask you with Rose in mind?

The ding of the oven stopped your trail of thoughts, so many questions swirling around your head. You walk out of the study, slamming the door behind you, the combined mess of dust and cobwebs remaining untouched.

The glass name plate falls to the ground, the edge shattering, with shards of clear glass laying dangerously on the wooden floor.

A couple of hours go by and the doorknob rattles at 8:45 P.M. on the dot. John was never late when he had to come home to you.

He reaches base at 7:30, drives exacting an hour to your shared home, after making a quick pit stop at the florists within 10 minutes to give you a freshly scented bouquet of red roses.

Roses. So that's why he'd give them you every time...

He makes sure to leave him 5 minutes of spare time, which was designated to flipping open a small metal notebook you'd gifted him, and writing his thoughts down. And once those 5 minutes were up, he places the notepad back into his jacket pocket and practically runs towards the front door.

"Dove, I'm home!" He exclaimed, gently placing his belonging on the floor, before walking into the living floor, where you sat on the sofa with your legs and arms crossed. (MY BITCH POSE IS NASTY)

"Sweetheart, you didn't run up to me at the door, you alright love?" He sits next to you, his calloused and freshly bruised arms rubbing your knee.

The silence was deafening and you couldn't find it in yourself to look at him after all you've read.

He takes it as a cue to continue, "I got you some roses, baby. Your favourite-"

"When did I say they were my favourite?"

John blinks at the interruption, "I mean, you don't like them? It's tradition to bring the same red roses for you every time I'm back..."

"And when did I say I liked them? Are they my favourite? Or are they her favourite?" You shift towards him, anger evident in your voice.

"Her? Who? Sweetheart, what's going on?"

"I mean, come on man, you like floral shit that much that now you're making me wear it?"

"You...don't like floral scents? Did you want tulips instead, baby?"

Your eyebrows are furrowed in annoyance by his confusion.

"It doesn't matter if I wanted tulips, John, it's the fact that YOU like roses. In fact you've like Roses this entire time! Don't act like you like tulips 'cos you don't- to be honest I don't think you ever have!" You rant, handing running through your hair.

"I mean I like both honey, roses are just, um, prettier?" He sounds like he's asking you rather than telling you.

"Of course roses are prettier to you- that's all that you're fucking used to you. It's always roses, roses, roses. You're so obsessed with fucking roses, you never gave tulips a bloody chance!"

"Are we still talking about flowers-"

"And when you do give tulips a chance, you're still thinking about roses- how red they are, how pretty they are, how they need to be watered every 5 fucking minutes, even then there's already someone to water those damn. Red. Roses."

"I- I mean I like tulips too, baby-"

"No. You don't. No, you don't. Tulips are just the safest options for you, cos someone already plucked out those fucking roses. Cos roses don't want you."

You're standing up now, and John's attempts to speak are futile with every sentence you shout.

"No. In fact, roses has never wanted you, roses look better with someone else, and ol' poor John has no more roses, so he goes and waters some unwanted tulips instead!"

John stands up, towering over your shaking frame, his hands come up to stroke your biceps, but he's pushed away.

"I mean, did John ever even like tulips? Or was he faking it cos he never got roses? Was tulips just the safe option? Does John still want roses after all the years tulips have been there for him?"

You left out a pained cry, you didn't even notice the tears leaking out of your eyes.

"Does John even like tulips? Does John even love tulips?"

His hands wipe your tears away, and he brings you into his chest, and you don't attempt to push him away this time.

"Does you even love me, John?" You break down into his arms, letting him carrying you into the bedroom, where he places you gently on the bed, while you hiccup through your uneven sobs. He smells the stench of wine through your shaking breath, whilst stroking your hair, and you slowly fall into a deep slumber with your head pressed against his still uniform-clad chest.

The clock hits midnight and John gets up, trying not to wake you up, grabbing his sweats from the drawer and walking to the bathroom across the hall, in order to not wake you up, from what looked like a well-needed rest.

As he trudges out of the bedroom and through the corridor, the reflection of the broken glass catches his eyes and he squints in the darkness, squatting down to pick a small shard. As he lifts the remains of the nameplate, hooking it back to the door, he steps over the mess into the study to retrieve a dust pan and brush.

Flicking the lights on, he's met with what looks like a scene from the reality TV show - Hoarders. So starts cleaning quickly, picking up the duster and bunching up the paperwork from the floor, the pot of pens that had seemed to be knocked down, the diary he'd used to write in...hold on-

Picking up the diary, John flicks through the entries, the book naturally opening to the last open slide.

He begins reading the last entry.

19th December 2020

Thought me and Rose would go back to the pub for another drink for the holidays, but she's going back to his place. Seems they're taking the next steps with meeting the families.

Soap's annoyed at how I'm 'ghosting' the girl I met at the pub....

"Oh...my tulip, I've never loved roses as much as I loved you." He mumbles to himself, whilst simultaneously cringing at his previously written words, immediately throwing the book back on the floor.

It's past breakfast when you wake up, throat and eyes painfully dry from last night's crying session, forcing yourself to drag yourself to the bathroom. You've forgotten that John had come home last night, as your met with a familiar empty bed.

After brushing your teeth and washing your face, you walk downstairs, being face to face with the naked back of Captain John Price.

The smell of chocolate pancakes waft towards your nose, as you look around the kitchen, the room garnished with a variety of different flowered bouquets, with so many variations of plants.

Bundles of dahlias and lotuses, orchids and lilies, carnations and irises, roses and tulips.

John turns to your footsteps, smiling at his perfect woman.

"Baby, good mornin'" He greets you, placing a single rose into your hair, and pecking your forehead warmly.

"John, listen about last night-"

"It was the old diary, wasn't it?" he asks.

You nod, ashamed for your abrupt behaviour yesterday. John lifts your chin up, resting his forehead against yours.

"Rose never taught me how to love like you did."

"John, you don-" His pointer finger is pressed against your lips.

"Reading those words from the past, I can see how it may have painted a different picture of my feelings. But let me assure you, my love, that you are the one I adore with all my heart."

Your stroke his face, heart warming to his words.

"Every rose I brought home was a symbol of my love for you, not because it was her favorite, but because it reminded me of the beauty and grace that you bring into my life. And those tulips, they represent the new beginnings and the fresh start that we share together.

My love for you is unwavering and unconditional. You are my tulip, my true love, and I vow to cherish and adore you for all eternity. Please forgive me for any pain or doubt my past words may have caused."

"John..."

He hands you his notepad from from his back pocket, beckoning you to open it.

You look at the first entry.

19th February 2021

I mentioned how I journal sometimes to her, and she bought me a new notepad, it's cute how she calls it a diary. Things are looking good. Bowling's our thing, I let her win because seeing her smile means I've won too. I'm asking her out tonight, Soap cried real tears when I told him.

You turn the page.

20th July 2021

Our 6 month anniversary. Took her to a field of roses and tulips, though nothing compares to her beauty.

The next one.

17th September 2021

I seldom think of Rose, I have my tulip on my mind now. Rose retired, and the team celebrated last night. She hugged me and thanked me for being a good captain. She also acknowledged my previous feelings for her. Man that was uncomfortable, but I reassured her I'm with my tulip now. I love my tulip.

I've always preferred tulips anyway.

And the next.

5th July 2022

Our 500 day anniversary. I want to propose.

17th September 2022

She said yes!! She may be my fiance, but I've already started calling her my wife, not legally yet at least...illegally?

28rd December 2023

We married 30th November. The day we met. Xmas was amazing, I can't see myself with anyone but her. I'm getting deployed tomorrow though.

You look at the most recent entry, dated last night.

16th February 2024

Missed the valentines day with my missus. Hope these roses are enough, though I wanted to get something better. Tulips for my tulip. They ran out haha. Missed my girl, missed her like I've never missed someone before. Soap's right, deployment suck.

Tears welled up in your eyes, not from pain or doubt this time, but from overwhelming joy and love for the man standing before you.

"I'm sorry, John," you whispered, your voice choked with emotion. "I didn't mean to doubt your love."

He smiled, a genuine and heartfelt smile that reached his eyes, pulling you into a warm embrace. "No need for apologies, my tulip. Thank you for teaching me how to love."

And in that moment, amidst the scent of chocolate pancakes and fresh flowers, it felt like you love story was just beginning, filled with trust, forgiveness, and a deep, unwavering love for each other.

That should not have taken me 2 days to complete what in the world. Also if i was tulip, that old diary is going straight into a fire! Barbecue anyone? <3 Quick Notes: I head-cannoned Rose to look like Sergeant Calhoun from Fix-it-Felix lolololol woman crush fr i get u john boy I've decided to start a tag list! -> lemme know you're interested to be tagged in my future posts! tags -> @lilliumrorum

[theswiftieapple]

Hey I saw you do request and I was wondering if you could do a Phoebe x fem!reader and reader is a new member of the ghostbusters and Phoebe is the one training her

You have a pretty smile

Phoebe Spengler x she/her reader

Phoebe and reader's age; 17

Word count; 6447

Warning; some swearing, I haven't written any fanfiction since 2019 so my writing is rusty and english isn't my mother language.

I hope you like it. :)

Narrator’s POV;

The car ride to the Paranormal Research Center was one filled with excited chatter. Lucky was the one driving y/n, a new member of the Ghostbusters, to meet her new partners in crime. Lucky was the one to introduce y/n to Winston, they met when y/n moved with her family to the USA. Lucky was the one to help Y/n with a heavy box when she was moving in and they started talking. They decided to keep hanging out and Lucky thought y/n's personality would fit them great and she showed great interest in the paranormal. Winston at the time was already on the lookout for a new member, four may be the original number of the Ghostbusters but it's better to have too many than too few. 

Lucky introduced them and Winston got to know y/n, he could tell she had the potential and agreed. That’s how y/n got into this situation, walking to the  Paranormal Research Center, fiddling with her fingers, incredibly nervous. From what she heard the other members were nice people but that wouldn't stop the anxiety.

Lucky glanced at her friend sensing her fear, she put a hand on her shoulder to stop her from walking, the door only a few steps away. “Hey, don’t worry about this too much. You’ll do great and they’ll love you! If something does happen you can always come to me and Winston.”

Y/n turned to look at Lucky as she talked, some of her fear disappearing for a short moment. “We’ll stay friends right?” Lucky smiled reassuringly “Of course, would a hug help?” Y/N nodded to the question receiving a tight hug in return. They pulled apart and y/n sighed deeply turning to the door “Let's get the first meeting over with then” Playing confident she walked to the door, Lucky cheered and clapped her back, then she put her card near the scanner to open the large doors. 

—

“What do you mean by a new member?” Callie asked, confused. “Wait, does that mean one of us is getting fired?” Trevor asked worriedly.

“If so it’s probably you,” Phoebe said seriously, she was of course joking but her brother didn't know that. The little joke didn't calm Trevor who opened his mouth to protest but was cut off by Winston. 

“We have been looking for a new member for the Ghostbusters for months now, there are a few reasons why we wanted to expand the team. There are still many ghosts we need to re-catch even two years after they were all released again thanks to Garraka, another member would be able to help with that. I also think a new member would inject fresh energy and ideas. Someone with a different and new background would give us a new perspective on problems and help us solve things quicker. I genuinely do believe this could help the team.” he explained calmly, he seemed quite happy with his decision.

“Why didn’t you maybe warn us beforehand?” Gary asked, baffled at the information they had been kept in the dark from for months. “Well I didn't want to create any false hope, I wanted us to be sure that we found someone new that none of you know.”

“When are we meeting them?” Phoebe asked curious, there was a small part of her that was worried that the new member could betray them. She shuffled at the thought of Melody, she still has some trouble trusting new people. 

Footsteps were heard approaching the main doors including a small beep indicating someone was about to come in.

“Right now” Winston smiled as he turned to the door.

“Wait what” Trevor asked bewildered as he and his family turned to the door.

Lucky walked into the lab with a pretty girl next to her. Phoebe's eyes widened at the realization of what she just thought. 

“This is y/n! Y/n this is your new team” Phoebe's eyes stayed focused on her new team member as Winstron introduced them. “y/n this is Callie'' Callie smiled at Y/n shaking her hand gently. “This is Gary” Gary shot her a smile as well shaking her hand. “This is Trevor, Callies son,” 

“I’m the cool one of the group,” Trevor explained, shaking her hand while smiling proudly. 

Phoebe’s POV

“And this is Phoebe, Callies daughter”  My eyes met hers as we shook hands. I forgot for a second that we weren’t alone, so I let go and sent her an awkward smile, my hand still tingling from the feeling. Why am I feeling like this? Did I just call her pretty in my head? Why is my hand tingling like this?

I was so busy with these thoughts and observing the newcomer that I didn’t notice the glances my brother shared with Lucky, scheming glances.

“She’s new to this, so she is going to need someone to train her and I was hoping one of you could do it” Winston explained, “Phoebe could do it.” My head snapped to look at my brother, giving him a ‘what the fuck’ look. “Phoebe is the smartest one in our team” I could hear Dad whisper a small ouch, “she's the one who's been using our equipment the longest and they’re close in age! How old are you?” He asked y/n, “I’m seventeen-” She was cut off by Trevor clapping his hands, “perfect! What do you think sis?” Trevor teased, ignoring my glare as he put his arm on my shoulder. 

“I-uhm sure” I answered nervously, “Well that’s great then! She is going to be living with you, my men are already cleaning the empty room and assembling the furniture as we speak”

“What empty room?” Mom asked surprised, “There’s no empty room in the firehouse”, I could see y/n being confused like the rest of us except for Lucky and Winston. “The room behind the bookshelf next to Tevor and Phoebe's room of course”

“There’s been an empty room behind one of our bookshelves and you didn't tell us?” 

Winston shrugged at my dad, “I thought you all knew but didn’t use it” He said simply.

“What’s next, a second bathroom?” Trevor jokes, and the glance shared between Lucky and Winston speaks volumes. “ You’re kidding”

“Well then, that’s that, as I said my men are working right now and they should be done very soon. Y/n’s uniform and an extra proton pack and all the other things are being sorted as we speak. I’m just going to have a small talk with Callie and Gary about some things, you guys could get acquainted with each other during that time.” Winston signals my parents to follow him to another room.

Y/n POV;

“It’s an honour to finally meet you guys, I’ve heard a lot of fantastic things about you,” I tell them, the nerves still haven’t disappeared and neither has the excitement. I’m worried they won’t like me, I could feel Phoebe? I think her name was glancing at me. I have to admit she is quite attractive and cute. 

I feel warmth on my cheeks as I keep thinking about her. I can’t think like that about her right now, I just met her. Plus she’s going to be my teammate and that could complicate things. I’ll have to ignore this small..crush, if I can call it that, for now. 

“Thank you, I’m sure we’re going to have lots of fun together,” Trevor said with a small smirk on his face as he put his arm around me. I didn’t notice the teasing smirk he sent his sister or the glare she sent back. “So there is something I have to warn you about,” He said as he and Lucky led me to the famous Ectomobile with Phoebe following behind. “About what?” I ask, worried.

“It’s about a ghost called Slimer, he lives with us”

“What.” I state giving him a serious and worried look as we enter the car.

—

“I think I’ll stay clear of the attic then,” I say as we exit the car. The conversation did drift a lot in the car, I didn’t mind too much since it was nice observing and learning more about them. They all talked except for Phoebe who kept quiet for most of the ride. I could feel her glance at me a few times, she was clearly in thought the whole ride.

“Yeah that’s probably the smarter decision, you should have seen Trevor when he met Slimmer for the first time” Callie teased ruffling her son's hair.

“Mom!” 

“Well then as nice as it is talking with all of you, I am going to have to steal y/n here, I’m going to be the one helping her decorate and sort out her room. If you’ll excuse us” Lucky said, sending them a smile before dragging me away to my new room.

Narrator’s POV;

“What’s up with you?” 

Phoebe turned to look at her mom, acting oblivious. “What do you mean?” Callie came closer wearing a teasing look. “I mean that you’ve been very quiet since we met our new member, lost in thought.”

“And lost in her eyes” Trevor teased as he walked away snickering, Phoebe grabbed a random towel and threw it at him, hitting him in the back, and he scurried off after that. 

“Well your brother isn't completely wrong, everything okay?” Callie asked, her worry present in her eyes. Phoebe stared at her shoes, for a moment, “I’m alright, don’t worry about it Mom” She left with that, lost in her thoughts.

—

“So, you and Phoebe” Lucky started as she opened a box full of different books. “Don’t start” y/n warns, Lucky turns to her friend with a knowing look. 

“I have a very strong feeling you have a small crush on her.” 

“I don’t”

Lucky made a sound of disagreement while making a face, “Maybe not yet, but you feel something, I can tell” she sang the last part, dodging a small pencil case, her smirk not faltering.

“I know your type, remember you told me” 

“Yeah because we made a deal that you would tell me who you like in return, and that someone is in this building as we speak.” y/n teased back. Lucky opened her mouth to try and form words, her cheeks having a red hue to them. “This isn’t about me and that someone-”

“Trevor you mean”

Y/n snorted at the look she received. “As I was saying, this is about you and Phoebe and the small crush that's going to grow stronger with time, she is quite literally what you described your type to me, short hair, fluffy or curly, glasses, a nerd-”

“Yeah, I get it” Y/n grumbles as she puts her bed lining on, “can you help me with this?” She raises the comforter pleadingly. Lucky stands up and helps her even it out. “I just don't want to label these feelings since we just met, besides the chances of her liking me isn’t zero but it’s also unlikely right now”

Lucky put a hand on her friend's shoulder comfortingly, “As your friend it's my job to remind you that there is a good chance she may like you back” Y/n played with one of her pillows thoughtfully. “I don’t want to rush anything, maybe she will and maybe she won’t but thank you”Lucky smiled back at her friend, “Now where do you want me to put these CDs” 

Y/n smiled and showed her friend. 

—

Y/n’s POV;

Dinner went nicely, I mostly listened as the family shared a few recent stories about the ghosts they’ve captured lately. Phoebe was quiet through most of it. I could tell the way she was behaving wasn't normal, I noticed thanks to the small looks her family were giving her. 

I got comfortable in bed and stared outside the window, it was pouring. I hope I didn’t upset her with being here, if I did I could see why. I am a total stranger that just appeared today, she was then told I would live with her and her family at the same time. It’s a lot of new information and a lot of new changes. 

I turned on a show on my phone to fall asleep too. I lost consciousness In a matter of a few minutes, hoping tomorrow would go well.

—

I woke up to soft knocking, I turned around to look at the door, squinting to see who it was. “Good morning, breakfast is going to be ready in half an hour, I wanted to make sure you were awake.” I sent Gary a smile and muttered a small thank you and with that, he disappeared.

I sat up and stared at my lap thoughtfully. Today was my first official day as a Ghostbuster or at least a Ghostbuster in training. 

Phoebe was going to be the one training me, I’m already dreading the weight of the proton pack. With those thoughts I stand up and get ready for the day, dressing in something comfortable and doing my hair.

I walk out of my room and glance at the firefighter pole, it’s too early in the morning for that and I’m not in the mood to land in the hospital on my first day so I walk down the stairs. I was met with the sight of Gary cooking and Trevor stealing some of the fruit when he wasn't looking. 

“Good morning,” I say and sit down on one of the chairs at the kitchen island. “Good morning!” Gary smiled as he flipped a pancake, “Morning!” Trevor said with a mouth full of strawberries. “So how are you feeling about your first day?” Gary asked, trying to start a conversation.

“I’m a bit nervous, I’ve never done anything like this before but I am excited,” I explained fiddling with my fingers. “You’ll do great I’m sure! With Phoebe as your teacher, it’ll all go great.” 

I smiled and whispered a small thank you. “Do you need any help?” I ask, ready to stand up. “Nah, I’ve got this but thank you” Gary told me as he put the pan away, I could see him playfully swap Trevor's hand away from the cut fruit. 

“Where’s Phoebe?” Trevor asked, sitting next to me, he put his fist underneath his chin. “She woke up early, she’s visiting Podcast and Dr Ray, she had something to discuss with them. I don’t know what it is though” Gary explained as he put plates in front of me and Trevor, I took a sip out of the glass in front of me.

“So what do you guys usually do when there isn’t a ghost to bust?” I asked as I put some toppings on my pancake. 

—

Phoebe’s POV;

I opened the door to Dr Ray’s shop, “Morning Dr Ray” I said as I entered, he looked up at me surprised. “Morning Phoebe, you’re here earlier than usual”

“I wanted to talk with Podcast about something, is he here or?”

“I’m right here!” He said, his head poking out from the door behind Dr Ray, “ I'll see you later then” Dr Ray smiles and continues to read a book. I go in and walk after Podcast, “So what’s up?”

“There’s a new ghostbuster on the team” I blurted out. He stops in his tracks and turns to look at me. “There’s a new ghostbuster?” He asked excitedly, “Is that bad or?” He raised an eyebrow noticing my attitude.

I leaned against his desk before I continued speaking “It’s not bad, she seems...nice” I started, he did a hand signal telling me to continue “I’m the one who's going to be training her and well” I stopped talking not knowing how to continue. Podcast gave me a look.

“What?”

“You’re acting weird, does the idea of training her bother you or?” 

I shake my head “No, it doesn’t, I just feel..nervous” 

Podcast flings one of the Pufts that was bothering him as I speak before he responds “Why are you nervous? Are you worried she might betray us and release a great evil that we’re going to have to defeat?” He asks, I give him a deadpan look. “Listen if you are worried about that, that would be okay. I’m just trying to understand what the problem is here.” He reasons, sending me a concerned look.

I put a hand in my hair, messing with it. “That’s the problem, I don’t even know what's bothering me about this situation exactly. I met her yesterday and she’s staying with us now as well. She does seem nice, Winston and Lucky recruited her, I know they have good instincts but” I sigh deeply grimacing. “I don’t know, there’s some weird feeling in me and I’m worried about what it could be and what it could turn into.”

“You’re scared that you like her?” Podcasts asks bluntly, “I just met her, there’s no way I have feelings already.'' I protest, “But, the way I’m feeling right now, is similar to how I felt when meeting Melody, but it's also different. I don’t understand it and I hate not understanding things.”

There was silence for a moment until Podcast spoke, “Well I don’t think you’ll understand what that feeling is for a good while. You two just met, there could be special feelings involved but you won’t know for sure for a while. I suggest just letting those feelings take their course.”

“Why didn’t I think of that,” I say out loud, Podcast patted my shoulder “That’s what I’m here for, being the voice of reason”

—

I walked into the firehouse after having a long talk with Podcast. I still don’t like the idea of unknown feelings and I am worried about feeling something for someone again but there isn’t anything I can do about it. 

“Uno!” A collecting group of groaning was heard alongside a laugh. 

I walk into the room to see My family playing Uno with y/n and Lucky. “How do you win so much, this is the fifth time” Trevor whined, putting his head on the table. “Magic” y/n says jokingly doing jazz hands, “I have two other card games that I think you’d like” 

“Do you have ‘Frantic’ with you?” Lucky asked, but before she could answer the alarm went off, signalling there was a ghost loose causing havoc. “Hey Phoebs! Let’s go!”Mom said as she rushed off, Gary and Trevor following, “Hey y/n, we can start with the training when I get back” I called out to her, “Lucky and you could meet me at the Research Center after we bust this ghost” I say awkwardly shooting her some finger guns before turning around and walking away quickly, hoping the heat that I feel on my cheeks wasn’t what I thought it was and if it is then that they didn't notice.

Narrator’s POV;

Lucky and y/n cleaned up after themselves soon after and drove to the Paranormal Research Center. Y/n went to a changing room to put on her uniform. She walked out nervous, “Does it look okay?” She asked, Lucky turned around and gasped, “You look amazing!! Do a spin!” She asked excitedly while clapping. Y/n did as asked. 

“It suits you perfectly!” She said hugging her friend. “Thank you, you’re too nice”  Lucky pulled away, “I bet when Phoebe sees you in it, her jaw will drop” Y/n rolled her eyes playfully “We’ll see about that. So while we wait why don't you update me on that new ghost you’ve been studying on” 

Lucky’s smile widened, excited to share her new discoveries, she grabbed y/n’s wrist and dragged her to her working station.

Phoebe walked into the lab an hour later, fixing her hair from all the wind. She could see Lucky explaining something while y/n listened patiently, wearing her Ghostbusters uniform. Phoebe had to force herself to not stare for too long, so she walked up to the two of them. “And that’s why we had to make sure those two weren’t next to each other, I swear I couldn't focus properly the whole time” 

“Hey there, sorry to interrupt your conversation, but are you ready for your first training session?” Phoebe asks, standing in front of them.“Yeah, I am! We’ll continue with our talk later” Y/n told Lucky before turning to Phoebe again who led her to the small training room. “The uniform suits you, not many can pull it off”

Y/n turned to look at Phoebe surprised, a small blush on her cheeks, “thank you, you look great in it too” she says, hoping that wasn’t too straightforward. “So, Winston said you have no prior experience”

Y/n nodded, “I have never used any of this equipment, correct.”

Phoebe crossed her arms nodding, “alright then, first thing first is to put the proton pack on, you can put it on normally like a backpack.” Y/n did as told, she let out a little grunt at the weight.” I knew they would be heavy but wow, now what next?” she asked excitedly.

“You hold this part, the particle thrower, you can also call it a particle gun” The new member did as told before looking at Phoebe again nodding. “Wait, can I show you something?” Phoebe asked, she got a nod as a response. 

She stepped closer, only centimetres apart as she helped y/n hold it properly, putting her hands where they are supposed to be. “ See that ghost up there,” Phoebe asked, focusing on the task at hand, trying to ignore her own bubbling feelings. She was so busy that missed y/n staring at her face, a blush forming. “Yeah i-uh do” y/n responds, trying to focus as well.

She’s holding a dangerous weapon, she’s seen what they could do online, she needs to focus, she tells herself.  “Okay, I’m going to help you with this one and show you how to turn it on. Are you ready?” Phoebe asked, glancing at her, “Yes I am.”

“Okay you switch it on like this” Phoebe explained as she turned it on with y/n, “when you’re ready to shoot you press this button right here, on the count of three, ready?

Y/n took a deep breath in before answering “Ready”

“1” Phoebe starts, glancing at y/n.

“2,” She says tightening her grip, y/n tries to steady her breathing.

“3”

With that they shot at the ghost made out of wood, It falling apart in two. Y/n’s jaw dropped, “That’s how you’re going to practise, the actual thing takes longer and needs more strength but our priority is to perfect your aim for now, the charged particle accelerator is a weapon of science that can cause a lot of damage if used incorrectly and without proper practice.”

“First of all that was awesome” Y/n stated with a wide smile on her face, “two, I’ve heard of all of that, Lucky told me about some of your bigger damages. It’s impressive how something so dangerous can be something that helps so many people'' Y/n rambles, observing the damage with interest. While she was distracted Phoebe looked at all her features close up. She could feel her cheeks turning red from all the close proximity. She slowly pulled away crossing her arms, not knowing how to act.

“Well whenever you’re ready, you can start practising, I’ll be here the whole time, so if you need any help just tell me” Phoebe said while rubbing the back of her neck. Y/n nodded as another ghost came down, Phoebe didn't stray far, staying a few steps away just in case. 

Y/n took a deep breath before shooting, hitting the wooden ghost on the side, she stumbled backwards, and Phoebe caught her in time, holding the particle thrower with her. “Okay that was your first time on your own and it went better than expected.”

“Better than expected?” Y/n asked embarrassed, “Yeah, you’re doing okay, try again, I’ll stay closer to catch you if that happens again okay?” 

Outside of the training room, Lucky was observing their interactions with a small scheming smirk. “What are you smirking at?” Lars asked as he opened the spirit extractor, taking a spirit-free plushie out of it.

“No reason,” Lucky answered, ignoring the eyebrow raise of Lars, he shook his head and walked away to continue working. 

The training went on until 5 pm, y/n was exhausted after all the trying, her arms sore, but it was all worth it, the thought of capturing ghosts excited her. Phoebe opened the door of the training room letting her out first, y/n nodded and muttered a small thank you as she walked out. “Keep this up and I think you’ll be ready to go out with me- “ she cut herself off quickly, trying to correct herself “I mean go out with us on missions soon.” 

She tried not to look at y/n's face, she didn’t want to make it any more awkward.

As they were walking to the main doors, saying their goodbyes to the other workers, Lars called out “Y/n!”

The said person turned around to look at the scientist, “Lucky asked me to tell you that she’s going to come to visit and help out more with your room around 6 pm”

“Thank you, have a nice night!” 

Phoebe bit her lip for a second before continuing with their walk, Gary was picking them up today. She looked at Y/n who was walking beside her. Did..she and Lucky maybe have something going on? She turned around quickly when she met eyes with y/n.

“I hope not,” Phoebe whispers to herself, “What did you say?” Y/n asked curious, Phoebe straightened her back, she opened her mouth to respond but nothing came out. Luckily for her, Gary appeared with the Ectomobile, saving her for now.

“Hey there you two! Are you ready to go home?” He asked with a wide smile.

They both got in the car and put their seatbelts on, the car ride back was quiet, the only background noise being the music playing on the radio.

The evening wasn't much different than last night, Phoebe disappeared to her room and didn’t come out until morning, leaving y/n slightly confused and worried.

—

Phoebe sat on one of the chairs at the kitchen island, drinking some coffee while tapping her pencil on the island, thinking, trying to calm down. The idea of having to be so close to y/n made her giddy and scared her at the same time. 

She was worried she would make it awkward like last night if Gary didn’t appear when he did…

She sighed, putting her pencil and coffee down, putting her head in her hands, staring at the open notebook, full of scribbles, she couldn’t focus on her work. Her head was filled with images of last night, her heartbeat picking up remembering how close she was to y/n. She couldn’t lie, she missed the warmth of her hands underneath hers, they were soft. She let her mind wander, imagining how they would feel properly holding her hands.

“Phoebe, are you doing okay?”

Her hands slammed on the table making the coffee spill by accident, she turned to look at the newcomer. “Oh, hi,” Phoebe said brushing imaginary dust off of her shirt” Hi” she leaned on the island crossing her arms, sending y/n an awkward smile. “Hi”

In her head, Phoebe was cursing herself out, ‘three hi’s??’

Y/n glanced at the spilt coffee and then back to Phoebe, with a questioning look, before she could repeat the question, she got an answer.  “I’m doing okay, alright, doing great.” Phoebe cringed at her repetitive awner, Y/n walked closer, her face not changing. Phoebe put a hand underneath her chin, trying to act normal. “Are you sure about that? I called your name three times and you didn’t notice” 

“I was thinking,” she answered quickly. 

“May I ask what you were thinking about?”

“Science.”

Y/n blinked, staring at Phoebe, waiting for her to continue while Phoebe avoided her eyes at all costs. Deciding to change the subject, she pointed at the spilt coffee, “Do you maybe need help cleaning that or?”

Phoebe glanced at the spilt coffee before standing up and getting some paper towels to clean it up. “Right, right, you’re right”

“Alright then, I’ll go and..do a thing” Y/n said walking backwards before turning around to get ready for the day. “Oh good morning Trevor” and with that she disappeared up the stairs.

Phoebe cursed under her breath, “How much of that did you hear?”

“Oh you mean how much did I hear of your nervous rambling? Pretty much all of it” Trevor says casually, walking closer. “So, you and” he points his fingers behind him. “Ya know”

“There’s nothing going on” Phoebe defends throwing the paper towels away. “Nothing at all?”

“Nothing at all”

“Not even a smalllll thing” He pries, making his pointer finger and thumb almost touch. “Not even a small thing” Phoebe shrugs nonchalantly. Trevor nods, letting the silence settle before asking another question. “So, what science thing were you thinking about?”

Phoebe leans on the now clean island again trying to find the words, she sighed “I wasn’t actually thinking about science,”

“Then what?” Trevor interrupted. Phoebe sent him a glare before continuing “I was just thinking about all the things I could teach her today.”

“Y/n you mean?”

Phoebe nodded in response.

“Were you thinking about how close you’re going to be again today?” Trevor questions while picking out an apple from the bowl. Phoebe stood up straight but before she could retort, Trevor interrupted her “Lucky told me all about how close you were yesterday.” He informed Phoebe with a smirk on his face.

Steps were heard coming down the stairs, “We’ll continue this after your little date today” Trevor whispered. “Training” Phoebe corrected.

“Good Morning” Callie greeted, walking over to the coffee machine. “I need to get ready for the day,” Phoebe says, grabbing her pencil and notebook and heading off to her room. 

“Did I miss something?” Callie asked her son, pouring herself a coffee in her favourite mug. “Not much” Trevor shrugged, taking a bite out of his apple. 

—

The following days were filled with not only bettering y/n’s aim but awkward moments as well, or that’s what Phoebe thought, y/n thought her awkwardness was adorable. Phoebe also learned that Lucky, the traitor, was feeding her brother information daily about her and y/n’s interactions. Specifically the more ‘embarrassing’ ones. 

Phoebe crossed her arms thinking, watching y/n put away the proton pack, “I think you’re ready to train with real ghosts”

Y/n turned around “real ghosts?”

“Real ghosts,” Phoebe repeated.

A wide smile appeared on y/n’s face, excitement prominent on her face. 

The next day they were driven out to an open area. Trevor and Lucky stayed back in the car while they walked out. “The reason I want you to train with real ghosts before going on missions is so that you’ve trained with more than just a painted ghost made out of wood, some real experience. If anything happens I’ll be right here”

“I brought a few of the traps, they have different ghosts, you'll do one at a time of course. You’ll be the one busting it and I’ll be the one trapping it.” She explained as she put a trap on the ground, putting the foot pedal where they’ll be standing. “Are you ready?”

Y/n nodded confidently, raising the particle thrower, and turning it on.

In the blink of an eye, the ghost trap opened, and a big orange ghost appeared. Y/n cringed slightly at the look of it. When it noticed her she shot right at it, hitting it. She grimaced at the strength that was needed, it’s not as hard as she imagined but it’s not easy either. “Keep going, I'll wait a moment before trapping it, it usually takes a while for us to trap it after we caught it”

No response came back, y/n tried to focus on the ghost, and after a few seconds, the ghost was sucked into the trap.

“Good Job!” Phoebe sent a smile as she picked up the trap, “Oh my arms are going to be so sore tomorrow” y/n groaned.

“That’s the point of training, to improve your skills.” Phoebe reminds, “Oh really? I thought the point of all of this was to torture me” Y/n jokes, panting from what she just had to do. “I'll call it torture and you can call it training. Deal?

Y/n reached out to shake hands, Phoebe glanced at her hand before shaking it. “Alright then, deal.”

“Now this ghost is bigger, you ready?” Phoebe asked, putting a second trap down. 

“Ready.” The sound of the proton pack turning on again was heard. A giant ghost appeared. Y/n immediately shot at it, gritting her teeth as she held it back.

“So, a photon is checking into a hotel” Phoebe starts speaking, y/n turns her head to look at her confused. She let out a small yelp as the ghost pulled harder, luckily for her it didn't break free.

“What-”

“Keep going,” Phoebe tells her, “I’ll start again, a photon is checking into a hotel”

Y/n looked back at the ghost, it was a feisty one. “So the bellhop asks, ‘Do you need help with your luggage?’”

Y/n sighed deeply, focusing on the ghost, she shot Phoebe a few glances, ‘Is..she telling a joke right now??’ “Towards that, the photon responds ‘No thanks, I’m travelling light’” She winks at Y/n.

It was silent for a moment until a snort was heard, “alright that one was good” She says snickering, “Please catch it now my arms are hurting” Phoebe did as told, it being sucked into the trap. The sound of the proton pack turning off was heard, and she sighed in relief. “It’s one of my favourite jokes,”  she explains picking up the trap. “I can see why, it's good, but why were you telling me jokes right now? Not that I mind.”

“When we’re on missions, there’s always chatter happening between us, maybe some bystanders, and I wanted to test if you could focus while being told a great joke.”

“So does this mean you’ll keep telling jokes during training?” Y/n asks, stretching her head. “Would you consider that a bad thing?” 

Y/n looks at Phoebe, who is picking out a new trap, “I don’t think it's a bad thing, I like jokes and puns” she explains, she could feel a warmth creeping up her neck as she admired Phoebe underneath the sunlight. A small smile formed.

‘she’s so pretty’

“Well it’s good you don’t mind since I have many more” Phoebe says preparing for another ghost. Y/n looked away when Phoebe walked over. “Good to hear” 

—

“How long do you think it’ll take until they start dating?” Trevor thought for a second before answering Lucky, ”eight maybe nine months max”

“I give it..three weeks, ”

“That’s quick”

“Look at them” Lucky points at the two outside of the car, training. Y/n was laughing after a joke Phoebe made, Phoebe stared at her with a smile, saying something they couldn’t hear from inside the car, but it had to be something funny considering the laughing wasn't stopping. “I bet you five bucks Phoebes using her jokes and unknowingly winning y/n over.”

“Five bucks?” Trevor asked, raising an eyebrow, “What? Five bucks is a lot in this economy” Lucky shrugged before putting a chip in her mouth.

—

“I think you’re ready to go on your first mission” Phoebe says, breaking the silence while they put away their gear. 

“Really?” Y/n asks excitedly, “Yeah, you did very well.” Phoebe smiles softly, “Plus you think my jokes are funny, if you’re with us then it won't be just Gary laughing at them”

“Ah so my sucking up worked” Y/n jokes, “I don’t think that’s what happened, you seemed genuinely happy and were laughing quite a lot,” Phoebe tells her, leaning on the locker. “I am an amazing actor” Y/n explains, Phoebe leans closer so they're face to face, inches away from each other. “Oh no person is that good of an actor, you even turned red from laughing, come on admit it, my jokes are hilarious”

Y/n tried to act casual, a small part of her was happy that Phoebe didn't realise she was blushing because of her back there as well. Y/n hums, pretending to think, before answering “They were alright”

Phoebe raised an eyebrow making y/n put a hand on her mouth to not let a giggle out, “They were alright?”, Phoebe got a nod in return, “you’re lying” Phoebe reasons, “I’m not”

“You are”

“No”

“If you aren’t lying, then there shouldn’t be a smile behind that hand” 

Y/N shakes her head, “Come on, remove it” Phoebe teases, she gets another shake of the head as a response, she could see y/n shaking slightly from holding in laughs. “Come on, let me see” Phoebe asks, grabbing Y/ns wrist softly, removing her hand to reveal a wide smile. “So you agree I’m funny.”

“Okay maybe you are” Y/n shrugs, just then realising how close their faces were to each other, her breath hitched, her eyes drifting to Phoebe’s lips for a second before returning to look into her eyes. Her wrist, where Phoebe was holding her felt warm, she resisted the urge to properly hold her hand. “You have a pretty smile” Phoebe whispered, lost in thought. ”It’s all thanks to you, being around you makes me happy” Y/n whispered back. 

The only thing they could hear was the sounds of each other's breathing and their own heartbeats. They leaned it close, eyes trained on each other, lips almost touching but before anything could happen they heard the Ectomobile from outside. They pulled away quickly, realising what they almost did blushing.

Callie walked in backwards helping Gary park the Ectomobil. “Oh hey there, how was training?” Callie asked, curious. “It went great,” Phoebe answers, clearing her throat. Callie glanced between them both, noticing the tension, both of them were blushing, Phoebe rubbing the back of her neck and Y/n had her arms crossed, refusing to look at each other. Callie made an ‘oh’ face, realising what might have been happening before they came home.

“I have to go” Y/n says quickly, “so do I” Phoebe responds, they both try to go in the same direction, but they both stop before Y/n ushered Phoebe to go first, walking after her. “Lucky just might win that bet,” Trevor states, him and Gary entering as well. “What bet?” Callie questioned.

“Uhhh nothing” Trevor shrugs walking up to the apartment as well.

Part 2

[aflame4goinghome]

Head First

j.m.k. x f.reader

part one

a/n: i had an idea for a little josh blurb inspired by this lizzie mcalpine song and i’ve decided to make it into a short series! friends to lovers josh is always my favorite, i hope you guys like it!! the next part will be current day...

summary: You and Josh grew up next door to each other, spending almost your entire life together. He was your closest friend, and that’s how it had always been. One summer, the two of you attend a music festival with your group of friends and a switch seems to flip for him that day, hurling you head first into a weekend of surprises. It feels as though everything has finally fallen into place, but young love is not always meant to last...

word count: 7.9k

warnings: this story contains smut! minors DNI!!! swearing, drinking, flirting, yearning, nicknames, sexually implicit language, heavy petting, kissing; SMUT: oral sex (f. and m. receiving), fingering, unprotected p in v sex (WRAP IT BEFORE YOU TAP IT, Y'ALL), praise kink if you squint i guess, dirty talk, soft dom! josh, fluff at the end! aftercare always!

JULY 2019

“Guys, seriously, come on. We were supposed to leave over half an hour ago!” you yell from the bottom of the stairs. You get no response, so you scoff, storm up the steep stairs to the hallway, and look around for movement. You see the bathroom door cracked open and walk over to push it open, revealing Josh still fixing his curly hair in the mirror.

You roll your eyes and clear your throat to get his attention, causing him to look over at you. “Oh, hey honey,” he says, giving you a sheepish smile. “Josh, it’s almost 8:30! If we don’t leave now, then we won’t have any time to get ready before we have to go down to the festival! You can fix your hair more when we get to the hotel, please,” you plead, making a praying motion with your hands, and giving him the biggest puppy eyes you can manage.

“Yes yes, I know, I’m sorry. I’ll help you round up the rest of them, okay?” he says, taking one last look in the mirror before turning the light off and heading down to the other end of the hallway. Josh breaks off first to enter his room and find his equally tardy twin, who’s still asleep. You giggle as you hear him yell at his brother to wake up, followed by a loud startled scream from Jake.

You enter Sam’s room to find him lying on his bed scrolling through his phone while Daniel is playing the guitar lightly. “Hello? What are you two doing? Come on, get up, let’s go!” you scold them, making Sam jump out of his seat. Danny chuckles to himself as he gets up to put his guitar back in its case.

They gather their packed bags and file out of the room, heading down the stairs. As you return to the hallway, you see Josh and his seemingly exhausted twin exiting the room. Jake descends the stairs with a groan as Josh follows closely behind him, shooting you a wink before he disappears.

Finally, you all finish packing the car and can finally get on the road. The five of you were heading to the Cosmic Sound Festival down in Detroit, something you and Josh planned months ago. The drive was just under 2 hours, so you were still able to get to the hotel in time to change and get ready before you had to be at the grounds for the first set at 12, or so you hoped. You feel grateful that this break in their tour allowed for you all to go to the festival together, as the time you spent together these days was few and far between.

“I call shotgun!” you shout, hurrying to open the door before one of the others beats you to it. “Hey, that’s not fair, Smalls! You always get shotgun!” Sam yells from behind you.

You roll your eyes and turn around to face him. “Yeah, because why would I ever want to be crammed in the back with you idiots? No, thanks. I’m good up here with Josh,” you reply, sticking your nose up at him and smiling proudly before getting into the car and closing the door. Josh shrugs and laughs lightly before getting into the driver’s side, with the rest of the boys following suit and getting into their seats.

Josh turns the car on and rolls the windows down to feel the cool summer breeze. “Ready, Saph?” he says, turning his head to look at you with a wide, crooked smile. His nickname for you never fails to make you smile. He had that effect on you, as he did with a lot of people. He first gave you the nickname in the fourth grade, after you’d learned about different types of gemstones in science class.

The two of you were walking out of the classroom to go to lunch as you turned to look at Josh. “I think rose quartz might be my favorite. They’re so pretty. Which one was your favorite?” you asked. He thought about it for a moment and said, “Sapphire. They’re so blue, and they’re valuable. Pretty, too.” You nodded and smiled at him, then turned your attention back to walking to the lunchroom.

“You’re like a sapphire, you know,” he continued. You looked back up at him with a questioning look. He pointed and said, “Your eyes, they’re the bluest I’ve ever seen. And pretty. Like a sapphire.” You blushed and looked away, not really knowing what to say. “I think I’ll call you Sapphire,” he said. You looked back up at him and smiled timidly. “Okay.”

The nickname has stuck ever since, though it’s almost always shortened. But it’s just his, and that’s what makes it special. Josh was your best friend in the whole world, as well as your longest friend. The Kiszkas were your next-door neighbors your entire life, and you all became friends practically right away. Being the same age as the twins, your mother would bring you over to their house at a very young age, so the three of you grew up together.

Watching Sam grow up and meeting Danny was something you always felt very thankful for. You had the best group of friends that you could ever ask for, who loved and cared for you like you were their own flesh and blood. You also got to watch as the music they made in their garage late on school nights became something much more.

You spent endless nights lying on the battered old couch in the Kiszkas’ garage as the four of them played together. Jake had always played guitar for as long as you could remember and Josh always loved singing, performing in the school musicals with you every year.

But near the end of high school, you watched as Jake’s dream became their collective dream and they started playing gigs around town and in other close cities. Before you knew it, they would make music that would reach thousands of people and tour places all around the world.

Admittedly, you fear for the day that the band gets even bigger than it is now, knowing that they’ll have to leave you. Your whole life was here in Michigan, and you knew that one day their journey would take them much further than here. You help your father run his business in Frankenmuth now, an old music store, where you sell instruments and sometimes teach lessons when he’s busy. You were needed here, and you knew that the guys wouldn’t be able to stay here forever.

For now, their home was still in Michigan, despite their time being taken up by near-constant touring and writing new music. They were just gone for several months on tour and will be returning to touring at the beginning of fall, so now is the chance to spend time with them.

Josh knew how much you missed them when they were away, so he tried to fill up your time this summer with as many activities as possible. He was always thoughtful in the way he planned things, wanting to get the most out of any experience.

“Ready,” you reply with a smile, plugging your phone in to connect to the aux. You press shuffle on your road trip playlist and Got To Get You Into My Life by the Beatles comes on first. “Ah, perfect!” Josh says, smiling as he starts to sing along and drives out of their driveway, down a long winding road toward Detroit. The five of you spend the whole car ride singing along to your favorite songs, with Jake usually vocalizing every single guitar solo.

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Day One

You finally get to the hotel around 10:30, giving you all enough time to get ready before driving to the festival grounds. You got two rooms next to each other, putting Danny and Sam together in one and you and the twins in the other. The room had a pullout couch, which Jake promised he’d stay on since he “barely gets any sleep these days anyway,” and you know that he’ll be out much later than you and Josh will be. He always manages to go off on his own at these types of things.

You throw your things onto one of the beds and then turn to Josh. “Just let me have the bathroom for like twenty minutes and then it’s all yours, okay Diana Ross?” you say, referencing his long, poofy head of hair that goes almost down to his shoulders. He chuckles and flops down on his bed, putting his hands behind his head. “Okay, okay! Whatever, I’ll take some much-needed beauty rest in the meantime,” he says, shutting his eyes as you turn toward your bed, grab your makeup bag and outfit for the day, and then head into the bathroom.

Knowing how hot it was outside this weekend, you decide to wear a pair of short overalls with a burnt orange sports bra underneath to match your Converse of the same color. You pull your hair half up, putting that half-section of hair into a messy bun and pulling out some front pieces to frame your face.

With your hair done and out of your face, you just apply a base of makeup and use setting spray so that you don’t sweat it off. You place your aviator sunglasses on the top of your head and then exit the bathroom. “All yours,” you say, going to sit on the edge of your bed and plug your phone in to charge until it’s time to leave.

With your back turned, you can’t see the way that Josh is looking at you. As always, you were oblivious to it. He gets up from the bed and grabs his clothes, and as he walks over to the bathroom he turns around to look back at you.

You’re just sitting there, scrolling away on your phone, but he stands there for a moment to admire you; the way your eyelashes curl upward, the way your long hair lays down your back, the way the bare skin of your torso peaks through in your overalls. He sighs to himself quietly, then turns around and goes into the bathroom.

Jake didn’t need to use the bathroom, he was already dressed and ready to go in a short-sleeved button-down shirt (half-unbuttoned), jeans, and light brown Chelsea boots. You couldn’t imagine how that would be comfortable for a festival, but Jake’s fashion always eluded you.

Next thing you know, Josh emerges from the bathroom, hair all “fixed.” He’s wearing a plain white t-shirt with a burnt orange bandana, accidentally matching you, and some khaki shorts and white sneakers. You look up at him and smile, and he says, “Okay! Let’s rock and roll!”

The three of you go next door to collect Sam and Danny, who are thankfully ready to go. Sam pulled his long hair into a low bun and threw on a loose long-sleeve button-down with the sleeves rolled up paired with shorts, contrasting Danny in his band tee and skinny jeans, who has also pulled his hair back.

You all head down to the car and drive over to the festival, planning to try and get there early to watch Tame Impala’s set at 4 PM- Jake’s idea of course. The 1975 will go on at the same stage at 8 PM, which is what you’re looking forward to more. The main event, however, will be Hozier tomorrow night, which is something you’re all anticipating. You’ll also go to see Tyler Childers tomorrow afternoon before Hozier’s set, at Josh’s request.

Jake, Sam, and Danny want to be close to the front for Tame Impala’s set, so they rush to the front to save a spot while you and Josh go to find the alcohol. You walk ahead of Josh, trying to weave in and out of the crowd to find the booth, holding his hand tightly behind you to stay together. As always, with your back turned you can’t see the pink hue that has graced his cheeks at the feeling of your hand tight in his.

Finally, you approach the table and get in line. As Josh meets you at your side, he squeezes your hand tightly before dropping it and combing his fingers through his hair. Your face softens as you look at him for a moment before turning to look around you. The line isn’t too terribly long, luckily, since you both desired to be far more intoxicated.

“God, it’s hot, huh?” you say, reaching behind you to pull your hair off of your neck and wipe off the sweat. Josh nods and wipes some droplets of sweat off of his forehead. “Yeah, it’s not ideal, is it? We’ll make do though, I’m sure. We always do,” he says with a smile, always the optimist. You reach the front of the line shortly and order two Bud Lights, three black cherry White Claws, and five bottles of water, and then turn to head back to the main stage. They gave you bags, thank god, since you wouldn’t possibly be able to carry all of those drinks back by yourselves.

“Still feeling hot?” Josh asks with a smirk as he walks next to you with the bag of water bottles in his hand. You nod and before you can react, he giggles as he takes one of the bottles out of the bag and shoves it into your bare side, causing you to scream from the cold touch. You shove him away from you and yell, “Josh! What the hell is wrong with you? That was so cold!”

He’s cracking up as he comes back close to you and snakes his arm around you, pulling you into him. “Sorry, Saph. You said you were hot! A gentleman is meant to help a lady in need, is he not?” You roll your eyes and then lean into him. “You’re such an idiot,” you scoff. “Your idiot,” he replies with a smile.

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You finally make it back to the guys, who have found a spot a few rows back from the barricade. You hand everyone their drinks and point to Danny and Sam with a stern finger. “You’re both lucky I bought these for you. Behave yourselves, if you get caught I don’t want to go down with you,” you say as they both laugh and take a sip of their drinks.

You all hang out and listen to the set of one of the smaller artists who’s playing on the stage now, just vibing to the music. It didn’t matter if any of you knew who it was or what they were playing, it was just fun to be there together. You smiled and danced by yourself to the songs, in your own world. Josh is to your right, the two of you are standing just behind the others as you’d gotten there later. He looks over at you with a content smile as he watches you enjoy yourself, appreciating how lucky he feels to be there in that moment.

You feel his eyes on you this time, however. You turn your head to look at him and a smile grows across your face as you lock eyes with him. “What?” you ask, turning to face him. “Nothing, darling. Just you,” he answers, looking down at you. “Just me? What about me?”

He reaches down to brush some hair out of your face. “All of you. I just feel very grateful to be here with you, Saph.” Your cheeks flush as you look up at him with a shy smile. There’s some conflict in his eyes and you can tell that he wants to say more, but he doesn’t.

You reach up to wrap your arms around him and pull him in for a tight hug, breathing him in. You feel him sigh into your neck and put his arms around your waist as you squeeze him tightly and then pull away, his arms still around you. When you look up into his eyes at that moment, there’s a feeling there that you don’t recognize, a strong force pulling you toward him. You find yourself not wanting to let go, feeling this innate need to be close to him. It almost feels out of control. You’re not sure what triggered it or what you’re meant to do, but you plan to find out.

The set ends and people file out of the pit slowly. You have some time before the 1975’s set, and even though you don’t want to lose your spot, you need a break. Jake and Sam split off and say that they’re going to go to the Strokes set in an hour, so they head to another stage. Danny opts to stay for the 1975 set with you and Josh and says he’ll hold the spot if you and Josh take a break and go get food and water.

The two of you go to find a food truck to get something to eat, struggling to make your way through the crowd. As you approach the field where all the food trucks are, you look to your left and exclaim, “Oh my god, look! They have a big water sprinkler! C’mon Josh, let’s go let’s go!”

You grab his hand and pull him after you toward the sprinkler, where dozens of other people are cooling off in the cold water. You run under the water and turn around to face him, giggling and pulling him under with you. He smiles wide as the water hits his head, drenching his hair and causing it to lay long and flat on his shoulders. He shuts his eyes tight as it soaks him and his white shirt becomes completely damp, causing it to stick tight to his skin.

Your hair is wet and sticking to your cheeks and you know your overalls will be wet all night, considering jean materials never dry quickly, but you don’t care. The cool water feels so good on your skin after such a long day as you lean your head back and soak it all in.

You look over at Josh, smiling from ear to ear and you stop to admire how honestly beautiful he looks like this. He slicked his wet hair to lay down his back and you watch as little droplets of water drip onto his cheeks from his thick eyebrows. You can see hints of his abdominal muscles thanks to the tightness of his wet t-shirt and you’d be lying if you said that your eyes didn’t linger there.

You pull him into you, wrapping your arms around his waist. Your wet clothes are sticking tight to both of you- a slightly uncomfortable feeling but welcomed for the experience to cool down. “Your shirt is wet,” you state matter-of-factly, giggling as you pull back a bit to look at him. “Really? You’re kidding,” he laughs, reaching his hands down to swipe the wet hair off of your face.

You sigh and look up at him with a grin. “Hungry?” you ask. “Starved,” he says. He looks down at you for a moment, his eyes drift to your lips for a second and linger there before traveling up to meet your gaze, the look on his face much more serious than you were ever used to. You take a deep breath, the moment starting to feel a bit more intimate than you’d anticipated. “Let’s go get some walking tacos!” you say, leaving the sprinkler and heading toward the food trucks.

Josh sheds his shirt off as you walk, needed to squeeze the water out and let it dry in the sun for a bit. You’ve seen him shirtless your whole life, you should be used to it by now, but you have to admit that it felt different this time. You let yourself stare a bit too long at the way his wet chest shimmers in the light of the sun, realizing that you need to snap out of it and stop getting distracted.

You and Josh grab your walking tacos, saving one for Danny and grabbing a few more bottles of water, then start the trek back to the stage. You both decide to eat a bit as you walk, being so hungry that you can’t wait until you get back. As you walk, Josh drops a bit of ground beef onto his bare chest and you erupt into laughter.

“Here, let me get it,” you manage to get out through laughs. You both stop walking and you take a napkin out of the bag and then bring it to his chest. You wipe a bit from his chest and then notice a bit of sauce further down toward his belly button.

You reach down and wipe that as well, hearing his breath catch a bit at the feeling of your hand there. Your eyes shoot up to his face, which is now a light shade of pink. Your lips turn up slightly into a subtle smile and you say, “There. All better.” You take your hand away and watch him finally breathe out, then turn away and start walking again. Interesting.

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You reach Daniel back at your spot by the stage and hand him his food. “What happened to you guys? You’re soaking wet,” he asks. “We found a water sprinkler. Felt great,” you answer with a smile. He shrugs and starts eating his food and the three of you hang out until it’s time for the band to come on. Josh slips his shirt back on, which is now significantly less damp.

The 1975 comes on stage as the sun starts to go down, cooling the air down considerably. You’re having so much fun dancing around with your best friends and there’s truly nowhere else you’d rather be. You and Danny sing along to every song as Josh watches and dances along, not really knowing the songs but having fun, nonetheless.

The band closes out the set with your favorite song, Sex. You scream as the song starts and jump around with a wide smile on your face, taking Josh’s hand in yours. He jumps with you, watching you instead of the show as you jump around grinning ear to ear, singing along.

When they get to the third verse, however, Josh can’t take his eyes off of you. The way you’re dancing and singing to a song with these kinds of lyrics is doing something to him that he didn’t expect.

Now we're just outside of town,

And you're making your way down

And I'm not trying to stop you, love,

If we're gonna do anything, we might as well just fuck

You sing along to the song as you take his hands in yours and dance with him. His eyes are piercing through you as he studies you, but you don’t notice with all the excitement. As the chorus starts, he pulls you in and twirls you around, smiling down at you.

You sway with him as the chorus continues and the song ends, much closer than you’d expected to be with your chests touching. As the crowd erupts into applause, you find yourself getting lost in his eyes for a moment. He’s looking down at you, his breath a bit heavy from the dancing, trying to get a glimpse of what’s going on inside your mind.

Before you can say anything, Danny turns around to you guys and says “Well, time to go,” then starts heading toward the exit. You snap back into reality at that moment, releasing your hold on Josh and stepping back a bit, then following after Danny. Josh follows closely behind.

The three of you head back to the hotel after getting a text that Jake and Sam planned to go to a bar down the street from where you’re staying before returning. They say they’ll meet you at the hotel, so you leave without them. When you arrive, you split off from Daniel at his room and then you and Josh head into yours.

You go into the bathroom to put on a tank top and a pair of sweatshorts then wash your face and pull your hair back into a low ponytail. You open the bathroom door and see that Josh has already changed, having thrown on a pair of sweatpants and opting to go without a shirt. He’s sitting on the edge of his bed, reading something on his phone, and looks up as he hears you come out.

He watches you as you walk toward your bed and sit down there across from him. He seems a bit deep in thought, his face not as lit up as usual. “Tired?” you ask, bringing your legs up onto the bed and leaning to your left arm onto the pillow. “Yeah, something like that,” he says, giving you a half smile. He goes to lie down but still faces your direction, and you do the same, just looking at him for a moment before finally speaking again.

“Hey, Josh?” you say, looking at him across the chasm between your beds.

“Yeah, Saph?” he answers.

“I miss you a lot when you’re gone.”

“I know, darling. We miss you too, always.”

“I mean just you. Not that I don’t miss the others too, but… You make everything better, Josh. Everything feels so much easier when you’re here,” you confess, meeting his gaze with a soft smile.

“Everything is easier with you there, too. It’s like you add air to my lungs. You walk into a room and it’s like a breath of fresh air,” he answers, smiling back at you.

Your face drops a little bit and you want to say more, but before you get the chance, you hear the door as Jake waltzes in, drunk off his ass. “Oh. You’re still up,” he slurs out, then flops down onto the bed he’s made on the couch.

Josh leans up to turn the lamp off and looks over at you. “Goodnight, honey,” he says, turning the switch. “Goodnight.”

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Day Two

The hotel alarm clock goes off at 9 AM, bright and early. You rub your eyes and sit up in your bed as you hear groans from the other side of the room. “Oi! Turn that shit off!” Jake hollers from the couch. You chuckle as you turn off the alarm and get up to start getting ready.

Josh is still sleeping peacefully, having not heard the alarm at all. He snores lightly as you walk over to his bed and bring your hand down to his head, brushing his hair back out of his face and then shaking his shoulder softly.

“Come on, honey. Time to get up,” you say as his eyes flutter open and land on you, causing him to give you a sleepy, toothless grin. “Morning, Saph,” he mumbles, rubbing his eyes as he sits up in bed. “Good morning, Sleeping Beauty. Long day ahead of us,” you reply, heading into the bathroom to get ready for the day.

You pull your hair back into a loose French braid down your back and then wash your face and apply some base makeup once again. You put on a small sky-blue cropped tank top and black biker shorts, then open the bathroom door and walk back into the room.

Considering you were spending the weekend with four men, you knew they wouldn’t be changing their outfits that much. Josh had subbed out his white t-shirt for a black one of the same kind, wearing similar-looking shorts. Jake wore a Guns n Roses t-shirt with the sleeves cut off and a darker pair of jeans.

You sit down on the edge of your bed across from Josh and tie on your Converse. “I quite like how you styled your hair,” Josh says, looking over at you. “Beautiful.” You take your attention away from your shoes to look at him, trying to make sure you heard him right. He’s looking at you in such adoration, it’s hard for you to understand.

You smile shyly and blush a bit as your eyes lock with his before turning your attention back to your shoes. “Thank you, Josh…” you mumble, not sure how to react, especially with Jake in the room. His presence becomes especially apart when you hear him chuckle to himself behind you at his brother’s attempt at flattery. Josh scoffs and then stands up and walks toward the door. “Shall we?” he says, opening the door. The three of you file out and meet up with Sam and Danny and then go to the car once again.

When you arrive at the grounds, you all get drinks together and have a round or two before Tyler Childers’ set at 3 PM. You didn’t know much of his music, but Josh really liked him and you were tipsy enough not to worry about it too much. The five of you had a spot closer to the barricade this time since you’d gotten there early enough, so you had a great view of the stage.

Josh enjoyed the set, smiling and grooving to the music. The songs were folky and country, which made it quite easy to dance along and enjoy it. You watched Josh as he blissfully watched the show, unaware of how truly content he looked and how it made you feel. You couldn’t help but smile as you studied him, admiring how much kindness and beauty exuded from his soul.

You looked at how his curls looked as the summer breeze blew lightly. You watched how his eyes squinted as he smiled wider and sang along. You observed how his lips looked- full, pink, and warm. You admired his hands as they were wrapped around his torso, almost like he was hugging himself. You couldn’t look away even if you tried. He was an enigma.

There was a particular song at the end of the set that really sparked something in him, All Your’n. When it started, Josh took his gaze away from the performance to look at you with a grin. He wrapped his arm around you, his hand gripping your right shoulder softly as he leaned his head to the side on top of yours and sang along to the song.

So I'll love ya 'til my lungs give out

I ain't lying

I'm all your'n and you're all mine

You smile as you dance with him to his favorite song. Seeing him happy was all you needed in the world, and you’d do anything to be the one contributing to it. Your face flushes as you feel him place a soft kiss on the top of your head and then nestle his head on your shoulder, swaying as the song comes to an end. At that moment, there was nowhere you’d rather be. You knew you’d do anything to experience this feeling every day, for the rest of your life.

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The five of you went to the other side of the grounds to eat a quick dinner before returning to your spot by the stage. As you ate, your mind was clouded with only thoughts of Josh and how different things felt. Of course, you’ve always felt a deep connection with him, a bond that could never be broken. You loved him, but the context of that love felt different now.

You’re unsure if it was the recent distance due to their tour or just that the two of you were growing up but after today, your love for him has seemed to turn into adoration. Being with him felt like a piece of you had been returned to you, as though you were only truly whole when he was by your side. His presence felt like breathing fresh air into your lungs after being submerged under water. You understand now what it means, and you think he does too.

Soon, it’s time to get back for Hozier’s set, what you’d all been waiting for. All of the guys were a fan of his, but none of them were nearly as big of a fan as you were. Every song felt like it reflected your soul and your heart in a way that no other music does.

The set begins and you know every song, of course. He plays all of his hits, one of your favorites being Jackie and Wilson. As he sings the song, you’re dancing around and pull Josh in to dance with you. You take his hands in yours and sway with him, jumping around with the largest grin imaginable spread across your face. He’s smiling back down at you and laughing as he lets you maneuver him in whatever way you want to. He even twirls you around a few times, making you giggle.

The mood switches as Hozier begins to play Work Song, which is one that has always resonated with you. You keep Josh’s hand in yours as you watch and sing along. You feel him give your hand a tight squeeze, causing you to look up at him. He gives you a closed-lip smile as he looks down at you, his eyes lingering on your lips for a moment.

There’s nothing sweeter than my baby

I’d never want from the cherry tree

‘Cause my baby’s sweet as can be

She give me toothaches just from kissin’ me

The other guys were standing in front of you and despite the crowd of people behind you, you suddenly felt alone there in that moment, eyes never straying from each other’s gaze. Your expression softens as you turn your body to face him and he wraps his arm around your waist and lowers his head to press his forehead to yours. You shut your eyes and take a deep breath as the song continues, swaying with him.

When my time comes around

Lay me gently in the cold dark earth

No grave can hold my body down

I’ll crawl home to her

You open your eyes and meet his, breathing heavily from the heat of the crowd as well as the tension. You start to overthink the entire situation but before you’re able to voice your thoughts, Josh finally brings his lips to yours. Your entire body relaxes in his arms as he pulls you closer to him. It feels as though he’s put the air back into your lungs, like you’ve been living your whole life without something that you know now that you could never live without.

You bring your hands up the back of his neck as you deepen the kiss. You grip his hair at the nape of his neck lightly, eliciting a quiet groan from Josh. He nips your bottom lip and you giggle as you finally pull away, his arms still holding you. It’s almost like the rest of the world disappeared in that moment, you heard the song playing on but you didn’t even notice.

The set ends and you quickly let go of each other before the others turn around to face you. Something you can’t hide, however, is the pink hue on both of your cheeks and swollen lips, which slightly gives you away.

“Ready to go? I could sleep for a day, it feels like,” Danny says, starting to head out toward the exit. You all start to walk out as Jake elbows his twin, chuckling and whispering, “Feeling okay there, brother? You’re looking a little… flushed.”

Josh rolls his eyes and walks a bit faster as he mutters, “Yes, Jake, I’m perfectly fine,” and takes your hand to drag you with him. You laugh as you follow closely behind him to the car and he drives the five of you back to the hotel for the night.

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You all arrive back at the hotel and as you get out of the car, Jake says, “You guys wanna go find somewhere to have a few pints?” Danny and Sam all answer in agreement, but Josh shakes his head. You look at him for a moment and meet his eyes. “Yeah, I think Josh and I might stay back, if that’s okay. It’s been a long couple of days,” you say, looking back at the guys with a shy smile.

Jake chuckles to himself. “Okay then, suit yourself. If you’re so tired, then I won’t come in late and wake you. I’ll stay with Sam and Daniel,” he answers with a wink to Josh. Damn these twins, you can’t get anything past them. Josh sighs and says okay before turning to head inside the hotel. You follow him up, beginning to feel a bit nervous.

Josh opens the door to your room and you both walk inside, closing the door behind you. When the door is finally shut, Josh turns around to face you. Before you can say anything, his lips find yours once again. You sigh into his mouth as he pushes you up against the door, his hands holding your waist tightly.

Your hands find their place around his neck as he deepens the kiss, his hands traveling from your waist to the swells of your ass. “Fuck,” you gasp under your breath, the feeling of his hands on you becoming almost too much to handle. That’s when he uses his grip to lift you and wrap your legs around his waist, bringing you over to your bed and laying you down.

He stands at the edge of the bed and removes his t-shirt, pulling it over his head in one swift movement. You take that moment to remove your own, sitting up on your elbows for a moment as you take it off and then pull your sports bra over your head.

Josh looks down to admire you for a moment before leaning over you, still standing but kneeling one leg slightly on the bed. He pulls you in for a kiss with one hand cupping your cheek as he reaches the other down to grasp your breast, kneading it softly with his fingers and groaning quietly into your mouth.

“Saph, you are so beautiful. Sculpted by God himself,” he says, leaning his forehead against yours. “Josh…” you start, rubbing your thumb along his cheek. “Shhh,” he whispers, bringing his finger to your lips. “We can discuss it later. Right now, I just need to feel you… gotta make sure that this isn’t some sort of dream.”

He leans back away from you to lower himself to the floor and then starts pulling down the waistband of your shorts. Leaning up on your elbows, you watch as he pulls your shorts down, agonizingly slow. He brings his hands down to pull them down over the curves of your ass when he notices that you’d opted to go without any underwear today. He kisses your inner thigh with a low moan and then looks up at you and says, “No panties? Dirty girl…”

He helps you out of your shorts the rest of the way then reaches up to grasp your ass cheeks, causing you to spread your legs for him. “So perfect,” he mutters, reaching one hand down to run his fingers through your folds. “Is this all for me, baby?” he asks, looking up at you with his eyes dark with lust.

“All for you, Josh. Only you,” you nod, sighing at the feeling of his fingers right where you’ve longed for them to be. “Lucky me…” he whispers before lowering his mouth down to your aching core. He licks into you like a man starved, lapping up the wetness at your folds before wrapping his lips tightly around your clit, making you whine and lean your head back.

He inserts one finger inside you, causing you to moan again, and then removes his mouth from you to speak. “Look at me, baby. Wanna see how angelic you look when I bring you over the edge.” You look down at him and he curls his finger inside of you before adding another one. He attaches his lips back onto you, sucking lightly as he curls his fingers inside of you, eliciting all kinds of lude noises from your mouth, which was exactly what he wanted.

“God, Josh. Fuck, I’m so close,” you whine, gripping the comforter of the bed tightly as you continue to look down at him. “Give it to me, angel. Want it so bad, do it,” he says against your clit with a groan, quickening his movements. You finally feel the band snap inside you and call out his name as he works you through it, taking his mouth off of you and slowing his fingers inside of you.

He kisses your inner thigh again before bringing his fingers up to his mouth, sucking your release off of them. “Mmm, fuck. You taste like heaven, my love. I fear I might get addicted,” he says, standing up to remove his shorts along with his boxers, stepping out of them, and then leaning back down to kiss you. He licks into your mouth and holds the back of your head steadily as you bring your hand down to stroke him lightly.

He groans against you and ruts his hips into your hand and you quicken your pace and then lean up to push him off of you. “My turn,” you say with a smirk, pushing him down onto the bed to lay with his head on the pillow. He looks up at you as the corners of his mouth turn into a smile and you crawl up toward him, taking his hardened length into your hand.

You bend down and swirl the tip with your tongue, then take it into your mouth. You work your mouth down onto it slowly until your nose touches the happy trail on his lower abdomen. You’re met with a long groan from Josh as he leans his head back onto the headboard with one of his hands gripping your hair lightly.

You continue to bob your head along his length, occasionally stopping to gag on it for a few moments at the hilt, causing him to sputter out various expletives. Before it gets too far, he goes to pull your head off of him with a groan. “Baby, if you keep going like that, I’m not gonna make it long enough to feel what this divine pussy feels like wrapped around me.” You blush at his direct language, something you’re still not used to hearing from him.

“You want me, Josh? Wanna feel me?” you tease, crawling up to straddle him, feeling his dick flush against your soaked folds. You reach down and put your hands around his neck, gripping his hair as you lean closer to him. “I need it, Saph. Haven’t been able to think about anything else all night besides how good it would feel to be inside you,” he whispers, holding your hips so tightly that you know it would leave a bruise.

You don’t need to hear anything else before you bring a hand down to grip his length and lift your hips to lower yourself down onto him. He grips your sides tighter as you make your way slowly to the hilt, adjusting to the size. He leans his head back with a groan as you finally lift your hips up and then back down.

He leans up to capture your lips with his and moans into your mouth as you grind repeatedly down onto him. “God, baby. Feels so good. So perfect for me,” he mutters, gripping you tightly as he starts to thrust up into you quickly, causing you to whine and try to steady yourself on the bed.

It feels unlike any other man you’ve ever been with. Not only do you feel safe and loved by someone you trust the most, but it feels like everything has finally fallen into place. The two of you were destined and your intimacy now only proves it further. You were meant to be his.

Josh flips you over onto your back and re-enters you, bringing his hand up to hold the back of your neck and kiss you passionately. His tongue slips past your lips as his other hand grips your hip and he thrusts into you, repeatedly hitting the same spot that drives you wild. “That’s it, honey, that’s it,” he whispers, bringing his hand from your hip to rub circles around your clit as he lowers his mouth to attach to one of your hardened nipples.

You moan at the overstimulating feeling of his mouth on you combined with his quick movements on your clit and throw your head back against the headboard. “Fuck, Josh, don’t stop I’m-” you mumble as he removes his mouth from you to interrupt you. “I know, baby, I’m right there with you. Let me have it.”

That’s all you need to hear before reaching your second orgasm, and Josh is not far behind you. He brings his mouth to yours as he finally releases inside of you, slowing his thrusts as he fucks it back into you until he stills his movements entirely. He brings his hand to caress your cheek and looks down at you with a wide smile, his cheeks flushed and rosy.

“Stay here, okay? I’ll be right back, baby,” he says, pulling out of you slowly and then padding off toward the bathroom. He returns with a wet washcloth and a small cup of water, setting it down on the side table and then sitting down at the edge of the bed next to you. He cleans you up delicately, almost pampering you, and then reaches up to move some of your hair from in front of your eyes.

“So beautiful. I’m still not sure how I got so lucky,” he says, smiling down at you. You sit up a bit and kiss his lips sweetly, then lean your forehead against his. “I love you, Josh.”

“I love you too, my Sapphire. More than words, and you know I’m not usually speechless… You’re everything to me, Y/N,” he answers, rubbing his thumb on your cheek.

You both slip on some comfier clothes to sleep in, just in case Jake decides to come back in the morning. He then turns the lamp off then climbs into your bed with you, laying on his side to face you. You turn to face him as well, looking into his eyes silently for a moment.

“I’m not sure what I’d do without you, Josh. You’re my world, more than you know,” you admit.

“I know, my love. You’ll never have to find out. I’ll always be yours. Always,” he answers, bringing his hand down to stroke your hair affectionately. The two of you drift off to sleep in each other’s arms, where you were always meant to be.

Or so you thought. One can never predict where the road may take you… What seems to be love at one point can turn into nothing within a moment’s notice. Nothing lasts forever, despite all efforts to fight it. But love doesn’t always fade away entirely, does it?

*:·.·:**:·.·:**:·.·:**:·.·:*༺˚ ⊹♫⊹ ˚༻*:·.·:**:·.·:**:·.·:**:·.·:*

part two

[thenextdawn-temporarilyclosed]

One Of Your Kind (CH. 1)

Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6 | Ch. 7 | Ch. 8 | Ch. 9 | Ch. 10

Word count: 2.7K

Summary: Your dream has always been to be a movie director, and your studies have been doing great.. until you get called to work in America and you’re forced to speak a language you don’t know.

Warnings: none

Pairing: Jenna Ortega X Fem!Reader

I’m finally starting to write my series! I hope you’ll like it🖤✨

———

A/N: Reader is italian, but every thought and dialogue will be written in English to make reading easier and smoother for everyone.

September 2019

Finally getting some freedom after highschool, you started your road to making your dreams come true. Living in Italy with a family that never supported you, is hard, really hard: you never had their economical support, so you had to work really hard and study even harder to get the scholarship you have always dreamed of. You wanted to be a movie director, you wanted to work in the movie industry and realize movies, tv series. The scholarship luckily covered the entire lasting of your studies, but before actually getting to work and start your career, you had to do your “training”, that is going on movie sets and watch how everything actually worked. You were a really good student and you were a really quick learner, the best in your class.

You started off easy in your country, traveling from Milano to Catania to go on sets. You didn’t really work there yet, you wanted to learn how things worked you had to observe. The actual movie directors made you hold the equipment all while you observed and learned how to handle situations, how to act around actors and how to interact with them. They also taught you a lot and gave very useful tips.

Your family completely disowned you, they wanted nothing to do with you, they didn’t want to have to pay for your studies so you were on your own. Luckily you had always found opportunities where you didn’t have to pay, or everything was paid already for you. However you even had a small part time job to help you pay house rent. Your dreams were coming true, yes, but your social life is feeling the effects of it. Between work and training, you never had time to meet people, make friends, fall in love… so in all meanings you were alone. On a good note, you never made people suffer because of your constant traveling: you knew that if you had a girlfriend, you’d make her suffer because you were never in your hometown, you were always traveling and whatnot, when on sets you had to keep your phone on silent, and it was HOURS before you could even pick it up again.

With COVID happening, your studies and training was interrupted. Even your work. You were in deep shit, to say the list. You didn’t have a job, and you couldn’t pay rent. Luckily the owner of the apartment you lived in was comprehensive enough to understand the situation and give you time, until you found a new job. You sent job applications here and there to work as a student and as a “equipment holder” on sets, you didn’t even see WHERE the filming would take place, you just needed to work, do something that could help you pay rent. 9 months passed before you actually got a call back, well- it was more of an e-mail.

THE Megan Park, one of your favorite actresses, was having her debut as a movie director on her new and first movie, The Fallout, and she was willing to have you as her student.

“Hello (Y/N)! Your e-mail where you say you have been looking for movie sets to help holding equipment has been forwarded to me by a few people. I also saw that you’re wanting to be a movie director and that you will doing whatever you’re asked to do just to be on a movie set and learn. I’m more than willing to pay for your flight from Italy to Ohio and have you as my student. I look forward to your response!”

You didn’t really understand English really well, so you copy-pasted the email onto a translator and read it. Great, you had a job! But it was in… Ohio? AMERICA? You were freaking out. It was a great opportunity, sure, you have always been wanting to go to America, but as a tourist, not as a student… you reflected at least a couple hours on it. America has always been your dream, but you were scared. Will people understand your crappy English? Will you find any friends, will you actually learn what you want to learn?

You chose to take the opportunity and reply to her letter, though explaining your problem with the language. You used a translator and sent her this response:

“Hello, first of all I would like to thank you so much for looking at my application. I really love your works and I’m more than happy to accept your invite, though I have something to say, and I hope it won’t be a problem. As you know already I’m Italian, but I don’t really know English. I mean I know the basics, but it takes me some time to form a sensed sentence and to understand what I’m being told. I know this can be seen as a malus point, but I hope it won’t be a problem.”

You got her reply after just half an hour:

“No it’s not a problem at all! I’m really glad you decided to take the opportunity even with your difficulties. I’ve seen your résumé and I get that you’re a fast learner! I believe that you can learn English as fast as you learn how to be a movie director. Within the week I will send you the details of your flight, I look forward to meeting you!”

Just like that, the next week you were making your way to the airport, with a luggage that was heavy as hell for just a month and a half, but you really had no idea what to take. Was it hot, was it cold? You had clothes for both occasion. It was summer there as it was August, but you thought that maybe at night it was colder. However you got to the airport, until you were in Italy, you had no problem. Megan had booked you a flight in first class so you had as much comfort as you could for a 15 hour long flight. However your problems started on that plane… the staff was entirely speaking English.

On the fourth hour of flying a flying attendant came to you. “Good morning miss. We hope you’re having a good flight. Would you like something to eat?” What was that she asked? And why did she speak so fast? You didn’t understand anything at all. “I don’t… speak english very well” you said, with a really noticeable Italian accent. The flight attendant excused herself and sent you someone who actually spoke some Italian, and she was your savior for that flight, but the fact of being all alone in a country of English speakers, scared you like hell.

After those long, tiring 15 hours of flight you finally arrived in Ohio and followed instructions to the exit. You didn’t know what to look for, but in the mail with the details Megan told you that she would send someone to pick you up, and that the driver would be holding a sign with your name on. It took you a while, but you found the guy and he loaded your luggage in the car before driving you to the set. The landscapes of Ohio were incredible to say the least. The movie would be filmed in a school so you didn’t have to go in the countryside, but the short road trip from the airport to the set was really relaxing and beautiful.

When you arrived on set, you were immediately lost. People gave you weird looks because they had never seen you, but you took a look at the mail Megan sent you where she told you where to go, and followed the indications that led to her office, though you never made it there, because she saw you going that way and intercepted you. “(Y/N)!” You heard someone call you and turned around, only to see Megan coming your way. She hugged you and you reciprocated the hug awkwardly. You knew Americans were confident with other people, but you didn’t expect them to actually hug people they’ve only talked through e-mails with. “It’s good to see you!” She said. Luckily, greetings you could understand. “It’s… good to see you too” you spoke really slowly, trying to make sense out of your sentence. Megan smiled “so you do speak English” she said with a smile. You had to reflect on her words before actually speaking. “A little” you said, mimicking it with your fingers so that Megan actually understood you.

The first days on set were really hard to say the least. The actors hadn’t arrived yet, and this is part of the reasons why Megan made you come before they started filming. She wanted you to familiarize with the rest of the stuff, to see where the equipment was and she even told you what you were going to do and how you were going to help her, and gave you a daily to-do list, rigorously translated in italian, to make you feel more comfortable. You talked with her through a translator for the first period of time so that it would be easier for you to understand everything and you had to say it was really helpful, she put you at ease and you couldn’t be happier.

But of course there had to be problems there, too. Because eventually you had to talk to other people, other staff members. Even though you told them you didn’t speak really good english, they insisted on speaking english and not wanting to use a translator. They used technical languages, names of the equipments, and you understood none of it. You had tried looking for the names on the internet, and you did find them but when in a sentence, and when they spoke fast, you didn’t understand what they were asking you to do.

Even when the actors and actresses arrived and got comfortable with the set and the staff, the higher ups always got mad at you for doing stuff wrong, but you didn’t understand what they asked you to do, it wasn’t your fault. People would make fun of you, calling you stupid because you didn’t understand them. You had hoped to make friends with the actresses since Megan told you they were your age, but the rest of the staff told them that it was useless, because you didn’t understand english. It’s not that hard to communicate, people just have to be patient. When filming started, a lot of times they would have to start shooting scenes all over again because you had done something wrong. It had gotten to the point where Megan would receive constant complaints about you. She had to do something.

To make things easier for you, Megan sent you texts translated in italian.

Megan: Vieni nel mio ufficio, dobbiamo parlare. [come to my office, we need to talk.]

You didn’t answer her text, but you went to her office, scared as hell for your work, for your place, for your future as a movie director. As soon as you walked in, she gave you a small smile. “Hello” you said as you sat down in front of her. “I will try to talk slow for you. Is this okay?” She asked. Luckily, you could understand when people were talking to you slowly- only Megan did this. Everyone else refused to. “I’ve been getting a lot of complaints about your work. They say you make things wrong, that you don’t listen and you don’t want to listen. Is that true?” She asked you. You gulped and thought of your words before speaking. “I don’t understand what they ask me. I try to tell them to speak slow but uh-“ you thought of your words. “They don’t want to speak slow. So I don’t know what they ask me and I make things wrong. I am sorry.” Your english was very, very bad and your pronunciation made it ten times work, but you made it work.

Before Megan could reply, you spoke again. “If you want one other student, I can leave. I do understand.” Megan shook her head and smiled. “You can stay, I understand that it’s not your fault. Those are idiots. From now on you’ll only talk to me, you’ll only follow my orders, you’ll work under my direct command so I can make you the movie director you want to be. Okay?” She said as she made her way towards you, putting a comforting hand on your shoulder. She also wrote that down and translated it to make sure you understood, she probably was the only one to make you feel at ease there. “So, are you making any friends? With the actors, I mean” she said, still talking slowly as the two of you walked out of the office. She wanted you to improve your English.

“No, I didn’t” you said and sighed, looking in front of you. “How come?” She asked. You looked at her in confusion, what did “how come mean?” She looked at you and laughed at your confused face, before apologizing. “I’m sorry. Why? Why did you not make any friends?” You smiled slightly. “Oooh so “how come” is also used to ask “why”?” You asked, and she nodded. “Your staff talked bad about me to the actresses. So they don’t talk to me” you shrugged and went on with your walk with her. From that day on Megan made it her mission to get the actresses to come talk to you.

You only did what Megan asked you, and slowly but surely, your work was amazing. She asked you for tips, she asked you what she could do better. At first you were scared to do so, but after a while when you had more confidence with her, your tips revealed themselves useful and she actually improved her work thanks to you. She let you check the screens, use effects, filters. She let you be an actual director, teaching you lots of stuff and you couldn’t be more grateful. But just recently, she has been trying to get you to work closer to the actresses… especially to the one playing Vada. Her name was Jenna, you learned. And according to Megan, you two could really get along.

The two of you hadn’t really talked yet because Jenna was of course too busy talking with her co-star, Maddie. But today, she had wanted to try some equipment on and understand how it worked, and Megan had given you the job to help her put it on. She stood still as you did your job and didn’t speak a word, knowing what she knew about you, she’d probably make fun of you, so you stayed quiet… but she was the one wanting to make conversation. “Hi” she said as you walked around her while setting up the equipment. “Hi” you replied back pretty quickly. This was the only thing you could understand pretty quickly. At some point Jenna had figured out you were around her age, and seeing people make fun of you because you barely knew English, wasn’t good. “You’re (Y/N), right?” She asked and looked at you and you nodded, avoiding her eyes.

“I’m sorry about what they say about you. Don’t listen to them, they’re idiots.” She said, speaking too fast for your likings. “I’m sorry, I don’t speak English very well.” You said, and she smiled slightly, before saying the same things, but slower. She was the first person after Megan who was willing to talk to you even if it meant taking hours just for a sentence. “They are idiots..” you spoke lowly, not wanting them to hear “you’re Jenna, right?” You asked just for confirmation. She nodded and shook your hand.

“It’s nice to finally talk to you, (Y/N)”

A/N: I’m sorry that there’s not many JennaXReader interactions in this first chapters, but I promise that there will be more in the next one. I really hope you’re gonna like this fic

[minimickzy]

Pretty In Pink || Misty Quigley

For the lovely and talented @peach-and-bugs sometimes we all need a story to escape into.

-and guys I haven't written fanfic since like 2019- please be kind lol! I wanted to have this done tonight so I actually wrote this during a 4 hour car ride (Also Blane is the love interest from Pretty in Pink and Molly Ringwald is the actress)

Characters: Misty Quigley (pre-crash) x Reader,

Word count: 2118

Sophomore year of high school you knew two things about Misty Quigley.

She was incredibly misunderstood and

She was in desperate need of a friend.

You knew it would be easy to at least start a friendship with Misty. She was talkative and was happy to get any type of attention. All you had to do was slide into one of the many empty seats at her lunch table and smile. From there it was never-ending conversation and hangouts.

To your surprise- and slight concern- Misty had walls built up pretty damn high and wasn’t easy to gain the trust of. She picked up more social cues than people gave her credit for. She had just been bullied to the point that the idea of you- let alone anyone- actually wanting to be her friend was unbelievable.

When you finally cracked her you could see her personality flip. Her eyes lit up, and smiles filled her whole face not just her lips, even her posture straightened up a bit. Who knew all it would take is saying that you liked The Phantom Of The Opera?

As soon as the walls fell she was an open book. Entrusting you with her deepest, darkest, secrets and in turn listening to yours. She would pick out tiny little things about you and gush about them to anyone who would listen. She even became the equipment manager after you joined the soccer team.

After two years of friendship, you couldn’t imagine life without her. And she seemed to feel the same.

Your friendship with Misty was different. No one outside of the two of you understood. She was just a little… quirky. She would put notes in your locker every day with complaints- sometimes coming off as tiny but stalkerish but you found it endearing. Sometimes if someone was even the tiniest bit rude to you, the next day their locker would randomly have rotten fruit in it. (one time a guy's car had its tires slashed after he called you a bitch).

People harassed her incessantly. You tried to stop it, even getting into a few fights over it but it was never ending and Misty had become a pro at brushing it off.

After all, as long as she had you it didn’t feel like it mattered what others said.

You weren’t sure when your feelings had changed from platonic toward your best friend. You had only realized when, as embarrassing as this is, you had walked in on Van and Tai in the locker room. They didn’t see you- thank god- but it was a push you needed to confront that seeing them felt right the way couples like Jackie and Jeff never had.

That event sent you into a spiral. You thought back to your so-called crushes. All boys from school- none of which you realized you had any urge to even hold a conversation with. You started to analyze movies. Seeing how the love interests interacted, looked at each other.

It started to click. There was only one person you felt that way towards.

A month or two into senior year was when everything came to a crashing halt. You and Misty were having your usual movie night like all other Saturdays. Slightly curled into each other on Misty’s bed. Her hair was pulled half up, p.j. top slowly slipping further down her shoulder. She had put her retainer in before the movie so all of her little quips had a slight lisp to them.

Adorable. She was simply adorable. This was a common thing for you to acknowledge now. What made tonight stand out from all the other movie nights for the past two years was a small conversation between the two of you.

Pretty in Pink played on the screen. It was one of the few VHSs that she owned, you two had probably seen it a good 20 times. You didn’t mind though. It was great background noise for your thoughts. Wandering from the last soccer match, to Misty’s bouncy curls, to the math quiz you should probably study for.

“Hey, do you want to know a secret?” You peered down to meet Misty’s eyes, her neck craning to look up at you from her position slightly further down the bed.

“Always.” You cracked a smile at how giddy she had become.

She pushed herself up to face you, kneeling- waiting for you to mirror her.

When you were sat facing her she took your hands, lifting and dropping them as she spoke. “You have to promise not to tell.”

“Of course.”

“Like never. Not a single soul.”

You took one of your hands from hers and stuck your pinkie in front of her face.

“Swear”

She took your pinky in hers and smiled, momentarily squeezing before wrapping her hand back around yours and setting them in her lap.

“Okay so-“ she whispered, looking around with wide eyes to check that no one was around, “you know when I said that I thought Blane was hot?”

You nodded, a little confused about where this was going.

“That wasn’t true- I just wanted to be him. Molly Ringwald is so pretty! I know it’s like totally wild but I want to kiss her so bad!”

Your brain stopped. Just for a second.

“Oh!” It came out as a yell, much more sudden and loud than you had meant. “I totally get that- yeah like- how could you not want to kiss her?” You could feel your hands becoming more clammy by the second.

“I know right!” Misty giggled and rolled her eyes happily as she turned to face the screen again.

With her gaze locked onto the TV, you took a deep breath- you felt like you needed to run away. Escape back into the safety of not having to confront your feelings. But you knew you had to stay. Firstly- did wanting to kiss a girl even mean that you’re gay? Or did girls do that to friends and people they admire? And if Misty had just come out to you- If you left now she’d probably think that you were disgusted by her.

So you stayed. Trying to act as normal as possible. Pretending to be asleep to avoid late-night conversations that normally lead to loose lips.

~

Come practice on Monday, the sleepover was still on your mind. Misty picked up on your funk. She always did. You brushed it off that you were up late the night before. It wasn’t a total lie. You spent half of the night replaying every moment in Misty and your relationship, trying to find any hints.

You earned a few glares from Tai and Jackie. You didn’t blame them. You were off your game.

At the end of the day, Misty was heading towards you at the team bench but Coach Martinez called her over to help with clean up before she could reach you.

You let out a sigh of relief, wanting to avoid any more awkwardness for the day.

“Woah, trouble in paradise?” You jumped a bit. You hadn’t realized Van was still on the bench behind you.

“Huh?” You asked stupidly.

“I just thought you and Misty were close. Are you good?”

Van was nothing if not perceptive. No one on the team understood- or even seemed to like Misty. Most of them refused to interact with you outside of practice too. Acting as if you’d pass on her “crazy” to them.

Van was never like that though. She seemed to have her own run-ins with bullying. She would sometimes make small comments and jokes but would still be kind to both of you.

You looked at her. Trying to gauge if she actually wanted to know if you were good. Her look wavered, becoming more serious. “Dude, are you okay?” She tried again.

You sat down next to her. Your eyes refused to meet hers as you looked out across the field towards the school.

It was just the two of you.

“Can I ask you something personal?” You knew that Van would say yes. It didn’t matter that the two of you weren’t close. She was always there for anyone on the team.

“Sure- I reserve the right to plead the fifth though.” Always one to try and keep it light.

“How did you figure out that you and Tai were gay?”

Van sucked in a breath next to you. “I uh- Tai isn’t-“

You finally turned to her. “I saw you guys. In the locker room.” The redheads face went pale. She seemed to brace for impact. “I won’t tell anyone. I just am confused. I don’t know who else to talk to.”

Van didn’t relax.

“Please”, the variability in your voice surprising even you.

She nodded and it was her turn to break the eye contact. “I don’t really know. To be honest I thought Tai was straight. Right up until the moment she kissed me. Fuck even after that I thought she was just a curious straight girl who pegged me for a dyke.” She let out a dry chuckle and winced towards the ground. “Do you think you’re gay? Or…”

You nodded. “Yeah, I figured that out a few months ago.”

Silence lingered between the two of you. Van kicked her feet, ripping up bits of dirt and grass with her cleats.

She spoke up gently, “Do you think Misty is gay?”

You dropped your head into your hands. “I don’t know. I think so.”

“Look- fuck- I don’t know Misty and I don’t really understand her but I do see a lot as a goalie. And Misty is obsessed with you. She looks at you like you hung the fucking moon.”

You chuckled, “Yeah- I know. But she’s always been like that. I think she’d treat anyone who was her friend that way.”

“Or she’s just always been into you.”

“Oh.” You furrowed your eyebrows, “I guess I didn’t think about that.”

Van barked out a laugh. The heaviness of the conversation gone. “Has she ever hinted at being into girls?”

“Well…” she looked at you expectingly, you debated on keeping Misty’s secret but decided that after Van had opened up and trusted you about her and Tai it's only fair you return the favor “On Saturday she told me that she was into Molly Ringwald.”

“Dude that’s totally dyke behavior!” She slaps your arm.

The two of you walked back to the locker room together. Misty was waiting for you, as she always did. As soon as her eyes landed on Van you could see the anger- jealousy?- immediately.

“Woah, Misty, I’m not trying to steal your lady- cool it” Van held her hands up in surrender and turned to wink at you so Misty couldn’t see.

Misty huffed and tapped her foot as Van quickly grabbed her stuff and saluted to you as she pushed open the locker room door.

When the door banged shut after her Misty pinned you to your spot with a worried look.

She opened her mouth and you saw her lip quiver. So naturally you blurted out, “I’m gay!”

Her mouth snapped shut and she looked at you confused. “Okay?”

You furrowed your eyebrows, “that’s it?”

“Well yeah- I mean I already knew that?”

“What?”

“We’ve been together for like a few months.” You looked at her like she grew a second head, “Misty what the actual fuck are you talking about?”

“Do you not remember?” She let out a exacerbated sigh and laughed lightly, “This makes so much sense! I was wondering why you got so freaked out about the Molly Ringwald thing. I thought you were jelous and mad at me!” She laughed again and moved to take one of your hands in hers as you stood in shock. “When we were on the bus back from the game at West Side, and I told you that I loved you and you said I love you too. I meant like love love.”

You took your free hand and face plamed. “Oh my god. You’re joking.”

She laughed gleefully, “No! I was getting worried you were losing interest or someone else had got your attention.”

“I don’t think that’s even possible.”

Her eyes were sprakingly under the bright fluoresces of the locker room. “Does that mean that I can kiss you? Because believe me I’ve been holding back.” She squeezed your hand excitingly and shifted more into your space.

“Yeah- that sounds cool.” You were still smiling when she lunged towards you, bumping you back into the lockers with the force. You laughed into the kiss and she let out a tiny squeal of glee.

~

Send in yellowjackets requests!

[slimthicksonnett]

Big Bad Bruin (Tierna Davidson) 1

(re-upload wow hello first fic i ever wrote)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Prompt: R is called back to USWNT for the 2019 January training camp after a year off for healing an injury. R is a forward but is basically a little Naeher with her aggression and stoic behavior, that is until she meets someone who makes her stutter.

Anon requested Tierna with no specifics so I just kind of .. went with it? 

Word Count: 4700ish (I seriously don’t know WHY it is so long, sorry..)

Readers POV:

A year ago, an ankle injury kept me off the field and out of the January USWNT camp and the 2018 Shebelieves Cup. This year however, they’d have to physically pull me off the field if they wanted to keep me from playing. 

“Little Naeher!” A familiar voice shouted, sprinting over to me. As soon as I felt the hands on my shoulders and the weight thrown against me, I knew it was the USWNTs personal flying squirrel who was the first person to spot me.  

“Hey Kels.” I chuckled, unwrapping the defender from my body. 

“Y/N, you can’t just let me hug you once?” Kelley pouted in response from being removed from me, crossing her arms.

“I might let you hug me but flying squirrel tackling me is another story. Now stop pouting, when you look like that it’s hard to believe that Mallory is the baby and not you.” I just chuckled now as Kelley narrowed her eyes and stuck her tongue out at me.

“Actually Tierna is the baby now, Mal has got a few month’s on her. It’s nice to have you back kiddo.” The newest person to spot my appearance was Alyssa who gave me a signature side hug and ruffled my hair. Immediately my hand went up to flatten out my hair and I gave the keeper a little side glare, causing a rare full laugh from her. Hair taken care of, my attention switched to Naeher’s words.

“I forgot about Davidson.” I muttered, thinking about the young defender who had made her first cap after my ankle injury.

“Oh yeah, you get to play with T for the first time ever. She’s a peach!”

“A peach, O’hara? That is the most Georgia thing I’ve ever heard you say. Now come on, it’s time to get on the field! Oh and hey Y/N, glad you’re back.” Carli ushered us forward, clearly itching to start the 11v11 game we’d been working towards all practice. I inclined my head towards her in thanks before jogging onto the pitch. Kelley grinned wide as a Cheshire cat when captain tossed her the penny and I smirked in return, playing against Kelley was sure to be one hell of a way to get back in the swing of the USWNT.

—-Third Person—- 

Y/N was electric on the field and Tierna couldn’t keep her eyes off of her. Even paired with the vets, the twenty two year old was a powerful force. Her ball control and speed was clearly a force to be reckoned with, playing some sort of zipper game with Christen as they raced around the field. Tierna held her breath watching as the forward engaged with Kelley, the two small girls locked in a tense battle for the ball as their teammates gave them a large breadth.

“Conflicted on who to cheer for over there, Baby T?” Tierna nearly jumped out of her skin when Moe popped up beside her. The jump and the startled look on the Stanford players face sent Moe into a fit of laughter, earning a light slap from the younger girl. 

“You scared the heck out of me! Also, yes actually. I mean I almost always cheer for Kelley because wel-”

“She’s your role model? Yes, we know.” Moe cut her off, waving a hand dismissively. 

“Yes, exactly. Seeing Y/N out there against her though, she’s incredible.” Tiernas focus was completely back on the field, watching as AD tentatively went to Kelley’s aid.

“Oh definitely, I think we all forget that you two have never played together.” Moe was of course referencing the recent soccer year where Tierna had made her first cap while Y/N was out on an ankle injury, thus keeping the two girls from playing together.

“Is she always so aggressive?” Tierna asked, watching as Y/N found her way out of the trap the two defenders had placed her in. With a quick move around Kelley, the forward was back on her feet and moving quickly towards Naeher. The two players’ facial expressions seemed to mirror one another as the young girl slid past Becky, managing to get the ball to Press who had seemingly appeared out of nowhere. 

“Absolutely, it’s scary to be on the other side of for sure. We don’t call her little Naeher for nothing, their mannerism is one and the same.” Moe informed Tierna who was, of course, still entranced by the game. When the ball managed to slip past Naeher’s glove, even Tierna found herself on her feet cheering. The stop in play led to a water break and the water break led to substitutions.  

That is how Tierna found herself in her current situation. The Stanford player had taken Kelley’s place at center back and was now staring at the side of Y/N’s head as she stood reading the field. From here, Tierna could see the depth of concentration in the forwards eyes and it chilled her to the bone. 

When a strong kick from Carli sent the ball flying past Julie, both of the girls kicked into gear. Tierna quickly darted forward, her chest nearly colliding with Y/N’s shoulder as she raced towards the ball. Seeing the opportunity, Tierna burst upward. Sadly, Y/N saw the opening and the small girl threw herself into the air. Moments later, the ball was forgotten about and both girls had fallen to the grass. The girls heights had played against them as smaller Y/N’s forehead collided with the side of 5’10 Tierna’s jaw. 

“Holy shit, are you kiddin-” Y/N had pulled herself to her feet, cursing internally and a little externally. She was about five seconds from chewing her teammate out for the misplaced header until her eyes locked with a pair of unfamiliar, shockingly stormy eyes. Still on the ground, Tierna blinked up at the older player, her mouth hanging open as if she had something to say but with nothing coming out.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry. That was so sloppy on my part, you had a clean jump.” The apology, and the curse word, came tumbling out of Y/N’s mouth before she could stop it. Underneath her the freckled defender blushed a bright red, at the apology or the position she wasn’t sure. Before she could accept the forward’s extended hand, a loud gasp was heard and a wide eyed Julie came storming across the field.

“Uh-oh…” Tierna whispered as a wide eyed Y/N was brought face to face with the blonde midfielder.  

“I know you did not just hurt the baby and then CURSE at her!” Julie’s hand was wrapped tight around the collar of Y/N’s royal blue practice jersey, putting the two girls’ chest nearly touching. However this didn’t last for long as the girl seemed to regain the composure she had lost after colliding with Tierna. Bringing a strong hand up, Y/N removed Julie’s fist from her jersey but she didn’t step away. In fact, Tierna gulped from her spot on the ground as Y/N stepped even closer to Julie so that their noses were almost touching.

“Firstly, I didn’t curse at her, I cursed in general. Secondly, she’s twenty, Julie Beth, I think she can handle me saying fuck.” Julie’s eyes were wide as saucers as her friend and teammate stared her down, not blinking once. Seeing the aggressive energy Moe had mentioned earlier first hand sent chills through Tierna’s body. There was something about watching the older girl treat her as something other than the team’s baby that made her heart feel like it was going to beat out of her chest. The sounds of cleats on the ground separated Julie and Y/N, the former almost shaking like a leaf. 

“Damn Y/N/N, you’re back for barely two hours and you hurt one teammate and accidentally scare the fu- heck, scare the heck out of the other.” Dunny laughed, slinging an arm around Julie’s shoulder who had now calmed down and was pouting. Crystal’s words made Y/N spin on her heels though, her bright eyes focusing on Tierna who was still in the grass.

“You’re not hurt are you? I didn’t hurt you right?” Her eyes continued to scan Tierna up and down, eyes raking over her body and making Tierna blush even brighter. 

“N-no, I’m uh, I’m fine. Just gonna have a little bruise.” Y/N had reached her hand out again and this time Tierna took it, clumsily stumbling to her feet and making Y/N giggle a little as she tried to find her footing. The interaction was not missed by the teammates closest to them as Lindsey immediately turned to Rose with wide eyes. 

“Did Y/N/N just giggle? Did I hear that right?” Lindsey whispered and Rose nodded her head up and down so quickly that she looked like a bobble head. Naeher also noticed it from the goal and threw her ‘mini me’ a confused look. Y/N, realizing her slip up, coughed and looked at the ground as she shuffled her feet, fighting a blush.

“See, she’s fine. Can we please get back to the game? I really wanna get back to beating Julie’s ass.” Her spunk and sass was back as quickly as it left and with wide eyes, Julie broke into a grin as the girls set back out onto the field. Tierna jogged to her spot, shaking her head to try and clear the thought of the muscular forward standing over her out of her head.

————

That night, the girls were settled in Kelley and Sonnett’s room. Why was it that Jill decided it was a good idea to room Frat Daddy and Frat Daddy Jr. together? The team may never know. However, it certainly made a good spot to do team bonding.

Ashlyn and Ali had launched into a Krashlyn level argument about dog names, receiving input from Rose of course since dogs were the topic of conversation. Lindsey and Mal were telling some sort of very animated story to the rest of the team who were all watching in either interest or confusion. And, as per usual, Y/N was late.

“Guys?” Tierna finally asked after Mal had finished her tangent, gaining the attention of her teammates.

“What’s up kiddo?” Kelley asked, throwing her arm around the shoulder of the team’s baby.

“Why isn’t Y/N here?” Rose suddenly wasn’t focused on the topic of dogs, Lindsey stopped telling her story, and Alyssa’s attention strayed from her phone.

“Oh, you can always count on her to be late.” Alex laughed from the other side of Kelley and the rest of the team laughed or agreed. Tobin explained that that’s why they hadn’t actually started team bonding yet because well, it wasn’t bonding if the whole team wasn’t there.

“Why are you so worried about her being late?” Mal asked in typical nosey Mal fashion. Tierna’s eyes went wide and her face flushed as she opened and closed her mouth.

“Nothing, no reason, just wondering.” The words stumbled out of her mouth and she knew full and well that none of her teammates believed her. 

“Wait a minute, baby T, you don’t have a cr-”

“NO!” Immediately, Tierna cut off Casey, not letting the woman finish her sentence. Most of the team awe’d and Tierna mentally cursed herself for even asking in the first place. 

“Awww baby Stanford has a crush on our big bad Bruin.” Kelley cooed, pinching at Tierna’s cheek who slapped her hand away. The slap wasn’t playful though, it connected with a solid whack and the team grew dead silent. Kelley stared at her hand in shock and Tierna started to stutter out an apology when the hotel door opened.

“I know y’all are used to me being late so what’s up los- why are y’all silent?” Y/N looked around the hotel room in confusion, all eyes still on Tierna.

“Tierna?” Y/N questioned gently, very confused by the situation she had walked into. Suddenly, Tierna was on her feet and brushing past Y/N, heading out the door. She watched the tall girl flee the room, face bright red. The gentle expression Y/N had watched Tierna with was gone now as she turned on her teammates with fire in her eyes.

“What the hell did y’all do.” She hissed, her eyes scanning the guilty faces. Ultimately, they landed on Kelley who couldn’t even meet her eyes. 

“We were just joking with her Y/N, she wa-” 

“No, I don’t care. Clearly Tierna didn’t think whatever you were talking about was funny. Did you all not see how hurt she looked?”  Stalking over to Rose, she held out her hand which Rose timidly placed her hotel room key into. Turning on her heels, Y/N headed out of the room to go talk to the team’s youngest player.

When the door slammed behind her, the team let out a collective breath that most of them hadn’t even noticed they were holding.

“Holy shit.” Casey said, eyes locked on the door. Most of the girls muttered something similar or some form of agreement. 

“I have never seen her get so defensive.” Kelley said, gaining her teammates attention. “I mean, we’ve all seen her get angry before because it happens all the time like on the field today but that, that was defensive.”

“Lyssa, what was that?” Mal directed the teams attention towards Y/N’s self declared mentor who was staring off deep in thought as she often was.

“I don’t know.” Naeher admitted, clearly still partially stuck in thought. “I mean the only time I’ve ever seen her get this defensive was over Fleming that one time when Pugh said something about Canad-”

“Wait.” Mallory cut off Naeher, a terrible thing to do in most situations but tonight was proving not to be a normal night for the USWNT. “Fleming. Like, Jessie Flemming? That was who she got defensive over?” 

“Yeah, why?” Alyssa questioned, tilting her head to the side like a puppy. Matter of fact, most of the team looked like that at the moment. 

“Oh shit!” Jane gasped, connecting the dots. The team turned towards the bleach blonde goalie who was sitting with her hand slapped over her mouth. “That’s who she was talking about after that friendly with Canada.” 

“What? She was talking about a girl?” Pinoe was now intrigued, confused as to why their assumedly straight teammate was talking about Flemming.

“Oh my god, do we have to spell it out for you? I thought the gays were supposed to be able to sense each other or something.” Mal was met with a pillow to the face from Kelley and a few pointed looks from some of her teammates.

“I’m just saying,” Jane started, ignoring Mal’s comment, “that the last person that Y/N got defensive over was Jessie Flemming, aka the Canadian player that she had a huge crush on.

“A crush on?!” Kelley screeched, nearly flying from the couch. Krashlyn were both staring wide eyed, Preath both had their jaws nearly on the floor, and Pinoe was a combination of everyone else.

“Y/N is gay?” Ali finally asked. The younger girls were looking at the vets like they were idiots seeing how the forwards sexuality wasn’t something she hid.

“Wait, bro, no, wait.” Sonnet was the one connecting the dots now, which of course meant everyone else must have been really slow for Emily to beat them to the punch. “She got defensive over Flemming because she had a crush on her and now she just got crazy defensive over Baby T.”

“Holy shit, Y/N has a thing for Tierna.”

——

After a brief moment of trying to find the right room, Y/N raised her fist and knocked on Tierna’s hotel room door. 

“Go away Kelley, I don’t want to talk about it.” The reply was muffled but clear and made Y/N’s face drop a little. She wasn’t sure whether to be amused that Tierna thought that it would be Kelley of all people coming to check on her or upset that she didn’t think it would be her. Though, it is probably fair she didn’t think it would be her as the two girls had only met officially for the first time today. Of course, Y/N knew Tierna. A player like her was hard to forget and after the UCLA loss to Stanford, Tierna’s face was burned into her memory. However, she wasn’t sure she was complaining. 

Knocking once more, she put in the key card and unlocked the door. Pushing it open slowly, she stepped into the room while narrowly dodging a pillow thrown at her head.

“Kels, I said I don’t want to talk about it or her or any- oh shit.” Tierna’s eyes went wide when she saw Y/N standing infront of her and not the other little defender she had been expecting. The older girl on the other hand let out a full laugh.

“I’m sorry.” Tierna muttered, suddenly very interested in picking at her fingernails.

“No, no, it’s fine. I just, I don’t think that was a very Baby T appropriate word.” Y/N giggled and Tierna felt all the blood rush to her face. The older girls laugh was light and airy and it certainly didn’t help an embarrassed Tiernas beating heart. 

“God, please don’t tell Julie.” Tierna buried her face in her hands as Y/N made her way into the room. 

“I won’t, she’d probably say it’s my fault for being a bad influence.” When Tierna risked a glance up, there was a mischievous sparkle in Y/Ns eye that paired too well with the smirk on her face. “Can I sit?” She asked, motioning to the bed beside Tierna and she simply nodded in response, still not really trusting her voice. 

“So,” Y/N started, flopping down onto the bed beside Tierna, laying on her back and staring at the white ceiling. “What’s wrong?” Tierna sighed and flopped backwards too, mimicking the other girl’s position.

“Nothing, the girls were just bullying me.” She admitted, staring off into the distance. 

“About?” Panic set in for Tierna when Y/N asked the question. How was she supposed to even respond to that?

“Um, nothing important.” It was a blatant lie and clearly Y/N thought so too as she rolled to her side and propped her head up on her hand, staring at the side of Tierna’s face.

“I think you’re lying.” 

“You do?”

“I do. You mentioned a ‘her’ when I walked into the room so something tells me that there is something or well, someone, very important taking up space in that big ol brain of yours.” Y/N said, reaching out and lightly flicking the side of the defenders head. Tierna furrowed her eyebrows and turned onto her side so she was facing Y/N now as well. 

“Big ol brain, huh?” 

“Don’t change the subject, tell me about this mysterious her.” Y/N was dead set on finding out about this mystery girl in Tierna’s life because frankly she was worried that this girl was going to ruin any chance she had with the forward before she even got to try.

“You’re not letting this go are you?” Tierna pouted and Y/N flashed her a signature smirk.

“Nope.”

“Um, fine.” Tierna racked her brain, trying to think of how to say what she wanted to say without exposing herself. “I mean, she isn’t really anyone to me.” 

“She isn’t? So like, no girlfriend problems or anything?” The younger girl flushed bright red at the word girlfriend. By no means did she hide her sexuality but she certainly didn’t expect to be somewhat called out on it. 

“Um, no, not girlfriend problems. I don’t have a girlfriend.” Something about her admitting that made Y/N smile, though she tried to conceal it for the sake of the other girl.

“So, a crush?” 

“I guess you could call it that.” Tierna admitted. Y/N furrowed her brows a little but unlike when she had furrowed them and yelled at Julie earlier, there was no anger on her face, just confusion. The look was enough to somehow prompt more words to come fumbling out of the klutzy girls mouth.

“I mean I don’t know if I can call it a crush? It’s just, I don’t know her super well. We only met recently but she seems super cool and she is just like, gorgeous I guess.” Y/N smiled and nodded her head in understanding as Tierna explained the situation.

“I get that, I’ve been there before actually.” The admittance seemed to get Tiernas interest but Y/N didn’t want to be the topic of conversation at the moment. 

“Really?” 

“Yes really, with an old teammate actually but we don’t need to talk about me right now. What is this crush of yours like? Does she play soccer or did you meet her at Stanford or what? Would I know her?” Y/N fired off questions and Tierna looked for a path out, desperately needing a way to navigate this war path. However her mind was stuck on what Y/N had said about the crush she had on an old teammate. An old teammate meaning someone she played soccer with. Meaning a woman. Oh thank god.

“Um, yeah you’d know her so that’s why I would rather not say who it is but yeah she plays soccer.” Tierna figured there was no harm in admitting a little bit and she could watch as the gears in the other girls head seemed to visibly turn as she tried to figure out who it was. 

“Who does she play for?” 

“Um…” Not being able to find an answer she stuttered and Tierna could see her make the connection.

“Oh my God, it’s a teammate!” Y/N exclaimed, her eyes lightning up. She prayed that outwardly she was putting on a good show but internally she was cursing the idea of Tierna thinking about one of the other girls. Was it Mal? Sonnett? 

“Yeah but like please don’t freak out over it, it’s not a big deal and I’m not going to do anything about it and-” Reaching out and putting a finger to Tierna’s lips, she effectively shushed her rambling. Once again the freckles that covered her face were now placed onto a bright red background and as Y/N pulled away her finger she tried to ignore the softness she felt against it.

“Sorry, you were rambling. Why won’t you do anything about it?” She questioned, not understanding why the gorgeous girl in front of her wouldn’t go after the person she liked without a reason. “I mean unless she’s straight or lik- Wait! Shit, she isn’t married or something is she? I mean I wont judge but babe that’s a whole other situation…” Y/N trailed off as she saw Tierna’s eyes grow wide and the blush that had been on her cheeks consumed her entire face and neck.

“No! No. God, no. She isn’t married. I don’t even think she’s in a relationship but I don’t really know.” Y/N breathed a sigh of relief and for the first time, Tierna laughed, and when Y/N heard it she decided she had found her new favorite sound.

“Then why not do anything about it?”  

“I don’t think she’d like me back.” Tierna had turned her focus to her fingernails at this point, picking at her cuticles to the point that they would almost certainly bleed later.

“Then she’s stupid.” With three words, Y/N effectively captured Tierna’s entire attention.

“What did you say?” She asked, now looking up with big bright eyes at the other girl.

“I said if she doesn’t like you back, then she’s stupid.” Being met with silence, Y/N decided to continue. “I mean come on, you’re a fucking superstar. You have the prettiest freckles and your eyes are so stunning they even rival Christens. Looks aside, if she’s a soccer player then I don’t know how she isn’t falling for you simply because of your skills.” The spheil was much more emotional than Y/N normally got and she glanced down at the younger girl who was staring at her with watery eyes.

“Hey, no. Don’t do that! No crying, come here.” Turning onto her back, she scooted up against the headboard and pulled Tierna into her chest. The defender tensed at the sudden touch but she didn’t pull away. Matter of fact, she nuzzled her head into the crook of the other girl’s neck and tried to blink away her tears.

“That was, that was really nice.” Tierna whispered. Above her, Y/N smiled. With precise movements she pulled the hair tie out of Tiernas hair and let her brown waves fall out to frame her face. Gently, Y/N began to run her fingers through the girls hair slowly.

“It’s just the truth Tierna, you’re an amazing person and an incredible player.” Her voice was at hardly a whisper now, not wanting to be loud right in the girls ear.

“You’ve hardly seen my play.” Tierna mumbled into Y/N’s neck and the older girl shivered at the vibrations it sent up her body, an action that didn’t go unnoticed by a slightly shocked Tierna. 

“That’s actually not true. I’ve actually played against you before.” Lifting her head up slightly in surprise, the Stanford player looked up into the other girls eyes.

“There’s no way, I would have remembered that.” There was no way that Tierna could ever have forgotten a face like Y/N’s.

“I was a little different back then. It was the D1 Women’s Soccer Championship in 2017, it would’ve been your sophomore year. You little fuckers beat us by one goal and Kelley and Christen will never let me live it down. I’m not surprised you don’t remember, I know that was a crazy year for you.” Tierna was immediately running through memories of that game, lots of which were blurred due to the results of the afterparties with her teammates on campus. Until it hit her, the same way she had hit Y/N.

“Oh my God, I remember. I hit you with the slide tackle that cost you that first goal right before you came back and assisted Fleming on her goal. I completely forgot that you even play for UCLA!” Y/N’s eyes lit up that Tierna remembered the slide tackle and her assist.

“That’s right, I even have a little scar somewhere that proves that it was absolutely not a clean tackle no matter what that damn ref said or the people that named you the Pac-12 defender of the year.” She grumbled the last part but of course Tierna heard she was laying on her chest. They were quiet for a moment and then they both erupted into laughter. 

“So see, I do know that you’re an amazing player. And I’m starting to learn that you’re a pretty amazing person too, any girl would be lucky to have you.” Y/N said softly, continuing to curl pieces of Tiernas hair around her fingers as she brushed through it gently.

“Any girl?”

“Any girl.” 

And so they laid like that, only moving so that they could pull the blankets up over them at one point when Y/N started to get goosebumps and Tierna insisted she cover up. What Tierna didn’t realize was that the girls goosebumps weren’t caused by the cold. In the silence, both girls’ eyelids grew heavy and they started to drift slowly off the sleep. Before they could get there though, the young Stanford player whispered softly.

“Y/N?”

“Yes, Tierna?”

“I don’t see why you act so tough with the other girls.”

“I have a reputation to keep, love.”

“Maybe, but I don’t think you’re some big bad Bruin like they do.”

“You don’t?”

“Nope,” The younger girl cuddled in closer and Y/N smiled, pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head. “I just think you’re a big ol baby bear.” Tierna yawned.

“Maybe I am.” What Y/N didn’t add after that was - for you.

With that, the girls fell fast asleep, completely forgetting their teammates who were still sitting anxiously rooms away.

----

Y'all remember in 2020 when Tierna was healthy and living her best life and I wrote this? Yeah me too. Missing that!!!!!

[hueningsloverr]

౨ৎ not your song !

chapter three : WASTED WORDS

pairing : hueningkai x 6th member!reader  summary : tomorrow x together, or txt, wasn't always six members, and for some unforeseen reason, it wouldn't stay six either.  set in : late 2019 word count : 1.1k

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a few months after txt’s ‘legendary’ debut, it was clear (y/n) wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. she practiced regularly with yeonjun, gossiped with beomgyu, baked with taehyun, and even spoke with soobin about possible future songs.

she had dug her roots, as poisonous as kai believed them to be, into their lives, and for some reason the teen boy could not wrap his head around, they were flourishing.

album sales were through the roof, article after article was written about the group, and even non-stans new their names - all thanks to her.

to kai, it was disgusting; of course they focused on some random girl and not actual talent, like himself. but he knew being bitter wouldn’t help anyone. he was simply allowing himself to be an angry teenage boy, upset over a girl who had no real control over her joining txt.

and when he walked into his dorm, only to find (y/n), tae, and gyu all passed out on tae’s bed, kai understood how much she truly did help the group.

taehyun wasn’t as shy as before, and he had a friend to constantly go to the gym with. beomgyu had calmed down (only slightly though, the others still regarded him as the most chaotic), and even opened up to the girl and showed her his art skills. yeonjun had a constant partner for any activity, (y/n) really never said no. and soobin had someone who consistently respected him, and supported him in his every choice. from what he chose to wear that day to decisions that involved the group, (y/n) stood behind him one hundred percent.

she was like the groups angel, yet kai was painting her like the devil.

of course, she attempted to befriend kai in the same ways she had with the other four boys except for some reason he would lock her out every time.

the two were close in age, both ’02 liners, and even liked similar things. (y/n) had her own small collection of plushies, and gushed over marine animals in the same way kai did. both watched the same shows, and found comfort in similar music. they were the perfect match, but kai for some reason wouldn’t except it.

yet, when he found her passed out next to his friends, his final wall came crashing down and he knew he had to let her in.

“(y/n),” he softly called out, scared to wake the others. it was late, and being asleep in the same bed as two other boys was not exactly the best look for the girl, even if kai knew the relationships were purely platonic. “you have to wake up.”

she didn’t move.

“(y/n),” he called out again, placing a hand gently on her shoulder. “it’s time to go back to your dorm.”

kai watched with amusement as she woke, confusion dancing around her eyes as she took in her surroundings.

“i fell asleep?” she questioned, turning and looking at the two boys passed out behind her, and then to the computer that surprisingly hadn’t turned off or died.

“i think so.” kai shrugged, moving his plushie collection out of the way and sitting down on his bed. “i came in and found you like that.”

“oh,” she mumbled, sitting up and stretching. “what time is it?”

“late, i’d bet you’re in for a rough morning.” he teased, smiling slightly.

(y/n) paused, eyes scanning the boys face. “you’re smiling.” she commented, her eyebrows slightly furrowed.

kai laughed, shaking his head. “are you delirious?” he teased, “i always smile.”

“i’m not delirious, just cold- and you never smile at me.”

his smile fell at that.

“here, uh, take my hoodie.” he mumbled, grabbing the nearest hoodie he could find and handing it to the girl. “and i’m sorry, for being so indifferent to you.”

she nodded slightly, “it’s okay, huening. i sort of ruined everything you had going, i’d be upset too.” she gratefully took the hoodie, slipping it on and smiling at the boy.

kai felt his heart do a backflip.

“call me kai, or hyuka- just not huening, i’ve known you too long for you to still call me that. especially while you call everyone else nicknames.”

she nodded again, fully standing up from taehyuns bed. “okay, hyuka.” she mused, pulling the covers over beomgyu and taehyun, and turning off the computer. “i’ll see you tomorrow.” she added, her voice so close to a whisper kai could barely hear it.

but he nodded anyways, smiling at the girl as he watched her go.

and when she was gone, kai fell back on his bed, only to hear taehyun and beomgyu giggling like teenage girls.

“hyuka has a girlfriend.” beomgyu teased, sitting up and grinning widely. “you so love her!”

kai shot up, a look of disgust washing across his face. “me? like (y/n)? you must still be half asleep gyu.” he groaned, rolling his eyes as he watched the duo snicker between themselves.

“‘h-here, t-take my hoodie~’ you’re a lovesick puppy!” taehyun laughed, tears welling in his eyes. “it’s gonna come back and smell like her, and you’re gonna sleep with it every night!”

“i don’t sound like that!” kai gasped, standing up and moving to playfully hit the two boys.

“kai don’t hit your hyun-“ beomgyu started before receiving a slight shove to his shoulder, sending him falling backwards as taehyun laughed, only to also be shoved backwards.

“i’m not in love with her. i’ll never be in love with her. she’s just a friend.” kai explained, sitting down on his bed again and staring at the plushie.

it wasn't like soobin for him to give gifts in the way kai thought he did - it would make sense for him to treat kai like that, but not by giving him a plushie for simply surviving debut.

"hey, uh, when we got our first break, did soobin also give you guys gifts?" he asked hesitantly, staring at the two as their grins grew wider.

"no, but (y/n) did - she got everyone something that related to their favorite animal or their representative!" gyu explained, grinning like a mad man.

"you thought it was soobin!" taehyun giggled, slapping a hand over his mouth in an attempt to quiet down.

kai was shocked. for so long, he had believed it was soobin. he thought (y/n) was some monster, yet she had been trying since debut to be his friend, and he had spent so long pushing her away. he made dumb promises to stay indifferent and cold to the girl. but, he made sure that he'd never do that again, not after tonight. though he couldn't take back the wasted words he spewed whenever he was with the girl, most of the time putting her down, he could make an attempt to only lift her up in the future.

and that's what he intended to do.

©2023 — all rights reserved to hueningsloverr , please do not plagiarise or translate any of my work

[badbf-cb]

05/02/2019

(Previously on WTF is the admin doing 04/25/2023)

"No Mom, I can do it on my own," the young girl mocked herself as she carried two smaller boxes into her new apartment, dropping them unceremoniously at the door. Blowing the stray hairs from her face, Minji shuffled past the elevator with the broken sign on it and started her descent down the three floors of steps. "48, 47, 46, 45…" she counted down with each tiny hop. "3, 2, 1~ Only a million more trips left." She huffed to herself, turning the corner quickly.

She hadn't seen anyone else the whole day, so she was a little surprised to see three guys standing with crossed arms staring at the half-empty moving truck. "You boys just going to stand there gawking at my things or can I convince you to help me?" she asked with a slight tone of amusement.

"Then that means you're the one that's been stomping and banging around in the apartment above mine," the blonde-haired man said, smiling at the new voice. "Hey, I'm Taeyong. Are you seriously doing this alone?" He seemed a little shocked no one was around to help. Taeyong elbowed his blue-haired friend and pointed to the boxes. "Joong, you and Jae grab some of the boxes."

With the help of the three men, the work was finished in no time.

"I can't thank you guys enough. I wouldn't have even been finished with a fraction of this," Minji said gratefully, spinning to look at the piles of new work. The loss of sunlight didn't go unnoticed by her. "It's late and I bet you worked up an appetite. Are you guys hungry? Give me a minute to find… anything… and I can make you dinner." Before she could spin and touch anything else, Taeyong grabbed her wrist.

"No- We were going to order in and just watch cheesy horror movies," he smiled and lets go of her wrist. "Clean yourself up and come by in a few. 207, right below." He pointed his fingers to the floor. Not leaving room for arguing, Taeyong ushered the two other men from the apartment and down the hall.

Later that night as they sat around the television talking, the movie was long forgotten. Minji was surprised to find out that Tae was still new in the building too, having just moved in last month. He had met Hongjoong a few weeks before that and started working with both Hanjae and him. She still wasn't sure what they did, but she didn't care. They were the nicest people she met since moving to the area to start her residency.

"I'll be honest, I did have second thoughts about this," Minji laughed and threw her head back, finishing her drink. "I think I've seen a few pornos start like this." Tae couldn't stop snickering at her joke, especially seeing the blush across Joong's cheeks.

"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard," the blue-haired boy started to protest. "None of the ones I've watched ever started like this." There wasn't a dry eye in the room when he realized what he said and it was too late to take it back. "That- no... what I meant was-"

His defense fell on Minji's deaf ears. Hanjae had moved closer during the night and was now leaning closer, whispering in her ear. A small thing that didn't go unnoticed by Taeyong.

"I'll admit I'm disappointed about dinner tonight but since you're new I'll make you an offer," his breath tickled her ear as he spoke. "Let me take you out for lunch one day and I'll let you cook me dinner." Minji laughed loudly and slapped Jae's arm.

"You'll let me? Wow~ That's an offer I can't refuse," she smiled. Her eye caught the dimly lit clock and she sighed. "I should go. It's late and I still need to head to the hospital tomorrow to meet with the department head." Hanjae was the first to his feet to help her up.

"I'll walk you to your door. I need to start home," he smiled sweetly at her. Looking at his friend, a small chuckle leaves him as Joong laid passed out on Tae's floor.

"Just leave him," Tae said. "He'll pay for it in the morning." He dusted his pants off and lead the two towards the door. "Don't be a stranger, Dr. Gong, it gets boring with just these two around." Minji shakes her head and laughs.

"I doubt there are any dull moments with you," she scoffed and waved goodbye. With Hanjae not far behind her, she made her way to her box-filled apartment.

"I'll pick you up Sunday for lunch," Jae said once she was in her apartment.

"I didn't agree to go. Well- Not really," Minii called to him as he turned and walked away. Jae stopped halfway down the hall, not bothering to turn back.

"You can't say no to me, Minji. Go get some sleep. I'll see you soon."

[disorganizedkitten]

A Study In Friendship Chapter 6

Miraculous Ladybug | 2019 | 5,056 | Ao3 | Prev | Masterlist

Voting In The New Shipmaster

Chloe had not, in fact, left her alone once the week was up. Instead, Sabrina learned that Chloe had been holding back over the past month. Go figure. And while Sabrina still had some problems defending herself, for every scathing comment Chloe sent her way, one of her friends would have a supportive comeback.

In short, life wasn’t perfect, but it was pretty amazing!!!

Did she mention she had seven friends now? Seven!! Marinette, George, Alya, Calista, Rose, Nino, and Adrien. And she was on tentatively good terms with the rest of her fellow students. That had never happened before! She could greet people and be greeted back, positively.

And sometimes it wasn’t her making first contact!

Like today, for instance.

“Good morning Sabrina!” Calista called, waving excitedly in the hallway.

“Good morning Calista!” Sabrina couldn’t help the smile as she dashed up and hugged Calista. “Did you have a good afternoon?”

“Oh it was amazing! I ended up in the catacombs, which yes I know is really dangerous, but I found some really cool stuff. I’m even checking with my dad to see if it counts as property open to the public. And even if I can’t keep it, I have like twenty pictures.”

“Oohh,” Sabrina breathed. Calista had shown in the past week that she had an affinity for finding the coolest things in the most random places. “Can you text me some of them? Or are they all on your camera?”

“Camera,” Calista said sadly. “But I’m going to print them this afternoon. The brooch was so pretty!” Calista sighed wistfully. “Anyway,” she turned her full attention to Sabrina. “How’s your turtle set coming along?”

“It’s coming,” Sabrina answered, rocking on the balls of her feet. “I think I’m ready to put a finishing coat on the main beads, finally.”

“Aw yes!” Calista jumped. “I can’t wait to see the finished product. I have told you how talented you are with beadwork, right?”

“You have,” Sabrina answered around a smile. Calista had said it at least five times in the past week. Especially after Sabrina had given her the star bracelet. Which Calista had worn every day since.

“Well I’m saying it again, you’re super talented, and the turtle set is going to come out looking so amazing.”

“I’m glad you think so,” Sabrina blushed.

“Cally!” One of Calista’s classmates skidded up to the pair. “Cally! Christian and Lucien are trying to claw each other’s hearts out.”

Calista sighed. “This is what I get for running for class rep. Well, better go stop them from getting hurt. See you later Sabrina!” She waved, her classmate latching onto her arm.

“See you!” Sabrina waved as Calista was dragged off by her classmate. Sabrina continued along the upper hallway to her classroom.

“Hey Sabrina!!” Alya leant over Marinette’s empty seat and held out a fist, Sabrina tapped it happily with her own as she passed.

“Hi Alya!

“Morning Ivan!” He glanced over at her, and she caught a small smile as he nodded to her before resuming his conversation with Mylene. Sabrina was… bad… in the love department, but even she could see how in love the two of them were.

Finding someone that compatible for herself in a few years would be a dream come true. For now though, Sabrina would just watch their love bloom happily.

She walked up to her seat, stopping to greet her almost-friend in the back row. “Hi Juleka.” the goth gave a tiny one-handed wave and muttered ‘Hello’ back.

Sabrina even chanced a wave at Nathaniel before she turned and slid into her seat. The redhead gave her a similar wave as Juleka had.

“Good morning Sabrina!” Rose called, skipping up the steps. “Good morning Juleka! Good morning Ivan! Good Morning Adrien, Good morning Mylene! Good Morning Alya! Good Morning Nino! Good morning Nate! Good Morning Max! Good Morning Kim!”

A chorus of ‘Good morning Rose!’ echoed back at the peppy blonde. Rose smiled as she slid into her seat in the back row.

Chloe stalked into the room, head held high. She sent a smirk to the back of the room, and Sabrina shivered. That was not a good kind of smirk. Sabrina hoped that Chloe was just acting haughtily to ride on her father’s coattails. M. Bourgeois was on his way to winning the mayoritorial elections, again. M. D’Argentcourt had been thoroughly humiliated throughout his campaign. At times it seemed the entire city was working against him.

Power players such as Andre were probably why the Americans had a limit on how many terms a leader could serve.

Sabrina listened in on the various conversations as she waited for Mme. Bustier to arrive.

Max was describing an idea for an AI with emotions to Juleka; Rose, Alix, and Mylene had started to talk about shades of the Color pink, and Kim was saying something about not being afraid of anything Ivan would ever know about, - spiders, if it hadn’t changed from when Sabrina had gathered blackmail info last year so that no one would run against her and Chloe in-

Oh crap.

Class representative elections had been making their way around the school this month. Calista had just been voted in on Friday.

Her life had changed a lot in two months. A lot, because she used to have the dates to start gathering information ingrained into her internal clock, and knew exactly what it was for every time. She had thought her secret hunting urges were just because she was so excited about Kitty Section forming and that she knew Nathaniel had been working on a secret project. She’d completely forgotten about elections.

Sabrina had never considered herself someone for whom adaptation was easy, and yet here she was.

“Oh it would be amazing if we got cushioned seats this year. Do you think that whoever gets elected would do that?”

Mylene hummed. “I don’t know, Rose, Chloe definitely wouldn’t.”

“Well no, but Chloe doesn’t have to be the rep this year.”

“She doesn’t?”

“I mean,” Rose took a breath and then leaned forward so she could talk to Sabrina. “Bri, are you gonna help Chloe run for rep this year?”

Sabrina wasted no time shaking her head, keeping her gaze stubbornly on Rose’s face. “Nope.”

Rose smiled, turning back to Mylene. “See?”

“Yeah, okay. But who’s going to run instead?”

“Good question!” Rose leaned over her desk again. “Bri, are you going to run?”

Sabrina paused at that. She hadn’t thought about it. She considered it for a moment, waving to Marinette as she entered, then turned and told Rose she really didn’t know, adding on a “besides, I don’t think I’d be that good at being in charge. I might run for assistant rep.”

“Wait does that mean we’ll have fair elections this year?” Marinette asked, turning around in her seat.

Sabrina nodded.

Marinette pumped her fist. “Yes! Have we decided who’s running this year?”

“I want to run for rep,” Rose admitted. “It’ll be fun to try.”

“I’m running too!” Kim added loudly. “This time she can’t hold my fear of spi-something against me!”

“Can’t I, Kim?” Chloe’s icy voice interrupted. Sabrina watched as she sashayed up the aisle and slammed her hand onto Kim’s desk. “I don’t have anything new to use against you, but don’t think for a minute that I won’t use what I still have.” Chloe turned her glare to Sabrina. She flinched. Chloe looked triumphant about that. “I don’t need Sabrina to keep you plebeians in line." She straightened up. “Anybody who runs against me this year will meet the same fate as previous years.” She yawned into her hand. “I’ll just have to go without an assistant this year.” Chloe turned away and sashayed back down the stairs. She slid into her seat, head held high.

Mme. Bustier clapped her hands before the conversation could continue.

The subdued attitude carried through the rest of class, and only worsened when Mme. Bustier officially announced that the Class Representative election for their class would happen this week, and that anyone who wanted to run needed to decide by fourth period, and have their paperwork in by Tuesday morning.

“I had been so excited,” Rose lamented, setting her tray down between Juleka and Sabrina. The entire class, sans Chloe, had gathered for lunch in the cafeteria.

“Is Chloe really that bad of a class representative?” Adrien asked.

The emphatic Yes from the rest of the class had him flinching. Sabrina felt a little sorry for him. She , at least, had no misconceptions as to what Chloe was like when they were friends. Or, less misconceptions. It was worse from the other side, but not by too much.

“I don’t think we should let her have her way this year.” Alix stated. “I mean, Marinette already told her to take her bad attitude somewhere else, why don’t we all help reinforce that idea? Between the, what, thirteen? Of us, most of her threats won’t actually mean anything, right?”

“Yeah!” Kim cheered.

Max cleared his throat. “As much as I hate to kill the mood, Chloe's threats do still apply. She can still spill secrets, and she has enough pull with the school board that she can still carry them out, just not with the same amount of ease as previous years.”

Alix groaned, laying her head on the table. “Her tyranny has to end somewhere.”

“What if we blackmail her back?” Juleka asked, forking a piece of Salmon into her mouth. Sabrina jolted, staring at her flabbergasted. Apparently she wasn't the only one, because Juleka shrunk in on herself a bit a moment later. “It was just a suggestion.”

“There's got to be someone she has nothing on,” Alix huffed. “Wait a minute, Sabrina?”

Sabrina froze as all eyes turned on her.

“Alix, what are you asking?” Ivan asked, a hint of accusation in his tone. Sabrina wasn't sure which girl it was truly aimed at.

“Who doesn't she have blackmail on.” Alix said again. “Sabrina, you know this, right?”

Sabrina nodded slightly. She didn't like it when the past was brought up, she had tormented them so much, but it was inevitable in this situation. She took a deep breath before answering, hoping her voice stayed factual and firm. “Kind of. I don't have anything on Marinette, Alya, or Adrien. But Chloe might have found something else since I left.”

At her words, the class erupted. Sabrina winced at the overlapping yells, moving to cover her ears. Some of the noise was cheers, some were questions, Kim was making a lot of it, really it was just too much, too much, she couldn't think, how could thirteen people make so much noise-

There was a bang as Marinette stood up, slamming her hands onto the table. “Guys!” her shout cut through the din surprisingly well. The class turned to look at Marinette instead of each other. “One at a time,” she ordered calmly.

Sabrina lowered her hands back to her lap, taking a deep breath in the relative calm.

Rose raised her hand.

“Yes Rose?”

“If you run, do you think we can build a petition for scrapbooking club like we did for the art room?”

Marinette flushed scarlet. “I don't think I'll run, but I can definitely help you set that up if Chloe closes it.”

“Girl, why wouldn’t you run?” Alya asked. “You might be the only one who can.”

“What?” Marinette sat back down, turning so she could focus her incredulous look on Alya. “I can't lead people! And even if I could, I don't have enough time to do so properly.”

“Well I can’t be class rep around the Ladyblog, and Adrien is always busy.”

Sabrina could bring up a few examples to fight most of the points Marinette had brought up. The time one was the only thing she couldn’t argue against. But... Hadn’t she said she wanted to be assistant rep? After running both her and Chloe’s lives for years, there was at least one thing she was good at, and that was managing events around the rest of their lives. And time as a whole. As long as Marinette was okay with that, of course.

“I could help with the time thing,” she rushed out, closing her eyes. She didn’t want to see what they thought of that. Rose would be supportive, but she didn’t know how the others would act.

There was no sound from the rest of the table. Had she just ruined their friendship by going against what Marinette had said? Oh she hoped not, she had only been trying to help!

“What about your own schedule?” Marinette asked.

Sabrina opened her eyes. Marinette didn’t look mad, thank goodness. Instead she looked… worried?

“Oh I can manage mine with time to spare!” she assured her. “It’s not a problem to help, really.”

“If you’re sure you want too, that could work.” Marinette said slowly. “But I don’t want to be an absentee rep for everyone.”

“I could run with you, and we could work together, like with the project! Find times that work for both of us, and then just plan a few weeks in advance.”

Marinette’s smile was worth taking the chance to say that. “I think that could work.”

 Rose started clapping, and soon the entire class was too. Sabrina blushed at the praise.

 She just kept topping herself at how happy and important she could feel. They weren’t clapping only for her, of course it was for Marinette too, but still.

***

 Sabrina rocked on her heels at the apartment door. Marinette had offered for her to come over Tuesday night for them to get a strategy working. Sabrina was late, an akuma had attacked while she was on her way to Marinette’s house. She hoped Marinette wouldn’t be upset. There were footsteps on the other side, and then Marinette yanked the door open. “Sabrina are you okay?”

“Yeah. I was able to hide,” Sabrina assured her quickly.

“Oh thank goodness.” Marinette hugged her. “Come on in.” she pulled back and opened the door wider. Sabrina smiled and followed her inside and upstairs.

“So where should we start?” Marinette asked, plopping into her desk chair and sliding over to her desk. She picked up a box and a screwdriver off her desk, and then spun to face Sabrina. “Do you mind if I work while we talk?”

Sabrina shook her head. “Not at all! What are you working on?”

“A locking box,” Marinette shrugged. “I figured that even though she shouldn’t realistically be able to get up here, I might as well lock up my diary anyway.”

“Better safe than sorry,” Sabrina agreed.

“Do you want me to make you one too after I’m done?”

Sabrina shook her head. “I’ve got my own measures. Thank you for the offer though!”

Marinette smiled. “Good on you.”

“So how are we running this campaign? Chloe normally tries to ruin her competition, but that doesn’t seem like a very you thing to do.”

“Definitely not,” Marinette agreed emphatically. “I was considering a full speech, you know?”

“I can help with speeches,” Sabrina agreed, perking up. It was true! “And you’ve come up with some good ones on the spot before, so this one is bound to turn out amazing!”

Marinette giggled. “Thanks Sabrina.

“Oh! We have to do the paperwork first! How did I forget that?” Marinette spun her chair again, setting the box on her desk so she could open up her computer. A few minutes later her printer was running. “Okay, there’s that.”

Marinette handed Sabrina her set of papers, and sat down with her own. “Do you need a pen?”

“Yes please,” Sabrina answered. Marinette passed her a pen, and they got to work. Line one; year, class, and name.

As it turned out, Marinette did a lot more work than Chloe ever had while they ran. In years past, Sabrina and Chloe had won immediately for lack of competition. Now, she and Marinette were running against Chloe. And even though they knew most would vote for them instead, Marinette was determined to be a worthy candidate, not just someone who was voted for instead. And that was just from the first night of planning and preparing!

Sabrina loved her.

Laying on Marinette’s bedroom floor, Sabrina ticked off another few boxes concerning her health status before looking back up at Marinette. Marinette was beside Sabrina, her cheeks puffed, and her legs kicking back and forth violently.

Sabrina pursed her lips, looking down at the next question on the form. Why do you think you’ll be a good candidate? That one was tricky. Why did she? Organizational skills would work as a reason, right?

“Sabrina, did they nominate me just because I wasn’t Chloe?” Marinette asked, flopping onto her back.

Sabrina looked over, puffing her own cheek. “I doubt it. You have the makings of a good leader. You’re super nice and check on everyone. Or, almost everyone.” She didn’t name the one person she didn’t think Marinette took care of, that was obvious. But still. “That’s what the representative does anyway, right? Take care of everyone?” And really, Marinette had a big enough heart to take care of even Chloe if it came to it.

Marinette sighed. “Yeah. I just don’t want anybody to think I’m only doing it because it’s my responsibility.”

Sabrina hummed. “I don’t think anyone would think that. I mean,” she forced a laugh, nervous and hoping it didn't show. “Look at me! I went from the second most hated girl in our grade to someone with actual friends in four weeks after you offered. And that was all before this.” She looked down at her hands. “They’d have to have pretty bad memories to think you only help because you have to.”

Marinette chuckled. “I don’t think we have anyone with memory problems in our class.”

Sabrina smiled, and turned back to her forms. The sound of pencils reigned for a minute, and then; “Thank you Sabrina. I needed to hear that.”

“No problem.”

You know, support for her friends and good at making things happen were both things that would be good on this. She might as well. In the margins, she ends up scribbling an extra note. Mostly to support Marinette.

***

“How do you speech?” Marinette asked, glaring at her tablet screen as though it had personally offended her.

This prep meeting was at Sabrina’s house, so they were sitting on Sabrina’s bed to brainstorm and write Marinette’s electoral speech.

“Be personal, don’t ramble too much, stay engaged, metaphors are only good if they’re simple or you explain them, bulletpoint a point a minute if you have that much time or that many topics, uh,” Sabrina leant over Marinette’s side to look at her screen. “That looks pretty good, actually. Do you want me to start the stopwatch and see if it fits in the time?”

Marinette shook her head. “I’m gonna revise it again first.”

Sabrina shrugged. “OKay.” She sat back up, and pulled her beadwork back onto her lap. She was working on a new set of more casual jewelry, pink flowers for this one’s theme. The turtles weren’t done yet, she had run out of the type of clasp and hadn’t been able to get more yet, but she was okay with that.

“Ah-ha!” Marinette exclaimed. “I think I got it! Where’s the stopwatch?”

Sabrina grabbed it from it’s pocket on her lap tray. “Right here. Want me to watch it?” “Sure. Thank you!”

Sabrina set up the clock and started counting down. “Three, two one, go!” She hit start, and Marinette took off, her voice loud, if a bit shaky.

“So as you know, I’m running for class rep-”

***

“Alya I think I’m gonna die,” Marinette said in lieu of a usual greeting as she slid into her seat.

It didn’t help Sabrina’s nerves at all.

Alya sighed, turning slightly to look at her friend. “Marinette, you’ll be fine. You and Sabrina worked on this all week, you’re going to kill it.”

“But what if we don’t?” Marinette asked, grabbing Alya’s shoulders.

“Marinette, you’re going up against Chloe.”

“Which is why I’m worried!”

“You’ll be fine. She’s not that big of a threat.”

Marinette didn’t seem convinced, but she let the subject drop. “Any luck getting an interview with Ladybug?” she asked instead.

As Alya descended into an excited ramble about the two minutes of talking she got to do with Ladybug yesterday, Marinette did a half-turn and waved. Sabrina waved back, trying to smile. She didn’t really feel it had come out right.

She was really nervous. Really, really nervous. They had been prepping all week, but there was still a small margin for error. And that small margin would become a big margin if there was an akuma attack or if Chloe came up with a really good plan.

“Are you okay?”

Sabrina jumped at Ivan’s question. “Yep! Of course! No problems here! Not nervous or anything! Heh.” From the look on his face, he didn’t believe her in the slightest. “No,” she sighed. “I’ve broken away from Chloe, but this is the first time I’ll be directly opposing her since the project. I’m worried.”

Ivan shrugged. “We’ve all been scared of Chloe at one point or another. Don’t worry, if she tries anything, we’ll have your back.”

Sabrina smiled. She and Ivan hadn’t talked too much in the four weeks since she started to sit by him, but she felt like they were almost friends anyway. “Thanks Ivan.”

“Alright class, settle down. Before we start our lesson today, I have to remind you that elections are this afternoon at city hall, so be sure to be there!”

Sabrina felt her gut clench again, and she stubbornly did not look towards Chloe’s bench.

Classes passed in a blur. Sabrina almost never had trouble paying attention, but today she was very out of it. She kept going through scenarios in her head that grew increasingly dire as the hours passed. The only things she could remember in detail were the talks inbetween classes. A lot of ‘good luck!’s were sent their way, and George and Calista even pulled her aside to give her a few packages of chocolate. Calista had said something about being excited to see her in presidency meetings.

Sabrina was really glad they had an hour between school and the elections. It was set so kids in fencing or scrapbooking would be able to go to both.

Sabrina stood on the school steps, trying to figure out where she’d go in the interim. She and Marinette had decided that the best thing to do would be to go propless, so she didn’t need to go home. She found herself watching Chloe saunter up to her car. Her dad had officially won the elections today. It was a fact that just made Sabrina more nervous. Chloe turned at the door, and smirked. Sabrina whined in her throat. Was it too late to back out?

“Want to spend the wait at my house?”

Yes, it was. Sabrina turned to shook Marinette a shaky smile. Marinette needed the support. “That sounds amazing.”

“You don’t sound too good,” Marinette noted. “Are you going to be okay? Do you just need to breathe for a bit?”

“I think so,” Sabrina nodded. Breathing sounded nice.

“Come on, we can watch a few episodes of something while we wait.”

They ended up watching lighthearted and simple cartoons, while eating some of Marinette’s scarily large cookie collection, to keep them from fretting too much. Eventually though, the alarm to start towards the city hall rung, and they were pulled back to the present.

“Ready?” Marinette asked, slinging her purse over her shoulder.

“Not at all,” Sabrina admitted.

“Me neither,” Marinette confirmed. “Better when it’s over, right?”

“Normally,” Sabrina agreed. “We should go before I decide I can’t.”

“Then let’s go.”

“Hey Sabrina?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for volunteering to have my back.”

“You’re welcome. I mean, we made a good team, right?”

“Yeah.”

They were only a block away from the hall when Marinette’s phone started going off. She dug it out, and held it between herself and Sabrina. “What’s up, Alya?”

“Chloe’s trying to buy votes,” Alya’s annoyed tone came through the speaker. “With Jagged Stone tickets.”

That sounded like Chloe.

“For real?” Marinette asked.

“For real. How close are you?”

“Just around the corner,” Marinette assured her. “Sabrina and I will be there in just a minute.”

“Alright, see you soon.”

“Jagged Stone tickets,” Marinette huffed. “Of course she’s going for a bribe.”

“We knew she would do something,” Sabrina sighed.

“Yeah. Well, let’s get in there and show her that money can’t buy everything!” Marinette said enthusiastically. Her nerves at least, seemed to have dissipated into fury. Sabrina couldn’t say the same for her own.

All the same, there were a lot of things money couldn’t buy. Like true friendship.

The girls entered city hall, and were greeted with the cheers of some classmates.

“Yeah! Come show us what you’ve got!” Alix yelled, her eyes alight with excitement.

Sabrina smiled a bit. She wasn’t going up against a hostile crowd. She was by Marinette’s side. She could do this.

And then the akuma attacked.

***

“I didn’t abandon anyone, Chloe!” Marinette snapped. “I got knighted while trying to close the upper windows.”

Everyone had been knighted by the end of the fight. It was scary, watching the darkness close in, not knowing if Marinette was safe - which she wasn’t - and knowing they were doomed too.

Adrien cracked some pun about it being a knightmare to be knighted, and Sabrina had to agree. She would be having nightmares for a week.

“Well, obviously only one of you showed any actual leadership skills during the attack, so I think we all know who we’re voting for,” Alya said sassily. Sabrina took s step back at Chloe’s scowl.

“Not so fast, Alya,” Marinette said.

“See! She’s already throwing in the towel! Obviously I’m the best representative, I can handle the job.”

“That’s not what she said,” Sabrina muttered. Chloe’s glare snapped to her. She took another step back.

“Sabrina’s right,” Marinette said. “I said it wasn’t time for voting yet, not that I was quitting.” She turned to the class at large. Sabrina could feel a speech coming on. “I don’t want you all to vote for me based on one interaction, and I don’t want you to vote for me because I’m not Chloe. I want you to cast your votes to who you think will actually do the job best. I won’t be able to do everything, but I’m good at finding compromises and thinking outside the box. Sabrina’s extremely good at schedules, and finding all the hurdles we need to jump to get to a specific goal. We’re good partners, and I promise we’ll both do our best. So, vote for Marinette and Sabrina as Class Representatives!”

Sabrina and Alya were the first to clap, followed by Adrien and Rose, and then everyone but Chloe and the mayor.

“Go ahead and go vote Class. I’m sure we’re all eager to have our representatives chosen for the year,” Mme. Bustier encouraged. The entirety of the not-nominated classmates surged forward at once.

Marinette meanwhile, stepped up to Sabrina’s side. “So, uh, that went...” she trailed off with a nervous laugh.

“As far from plan as possible?” Sabrina offered.

“Yeah, that’s a good way to describe it,” Marinette agreed. She buried her head in her hands. “I completely forgot my speech.”

“It sounded good anyway.”

Their conversation was stopped by Mme. Bustier clapping. “Alright students! Marinette, Chloe, Sabrina, please come up so we can announce the winner!”

“Come on!” Marinette whispered excitedly, holding out her hand. Sabrina took it, trying not to squeeze too hard.

Chloe kept her head up as she joined them, but Sabrina knew the look of fury in her eyes. She bit back another whimper.

“The votes have been counted,” Mme. Bustier said. “And the winners are...” she paused for emphasis. Sabrina caught onto her wording though. She took a deep breath, and fixed a smile on her face. “Marinette Dupain-Cheng and Sabrina Raincomprix!”

Alya and Rose squealed from where they were in the crowd, and Sabrina wasn’t able to fully turn to smile at Marinette before Rose tackled her.

“You did it! Sabrina I’m so proud of you! I just know you’re going to be amazing!” Rose pulled back, wiping her eyes. “I’m so proud. You’ve just bloomed!” and then she burst into tears.

Sabrina didn’t know what to do with that. Was Rose okay? She didn’t know, but Juleka seemed to think so. She took her friend’s arm gently. “Come on Rose, let others congratulate her too.” She looked up and smiled at Sabrina. “Congratulations, Sabrina.” Juleka led Rose over to tell Marinette congratulations too, and then Sabrina lost sight of them in the crowd of classmates. It was only her class there, but it felt like a lot more while they were all wishing her good luck and offering congratulations.

Eventually the stream died down, and Sabrina could breathe again. She turned to find Alya primed with her phone.

“Come on girls, lets get some smiles! I’ve got to put this on the school blog!”

Marinette found her way back to Sabrina’s side, and they took a moment to pose. Once Alya had the picture, she rushed up to give kisses goodbye, claiming she had a family engagement she was already late for.

“I guess this is it then?” Marinette said.

“Yeah.”

“This year is going to be wild.” Sabrina agreed. It had already been wild, between the Akumas and magic and the shifting power structures. “I’m glad I have you as a partner in this,” Marinette said, setting an arm on her shoulder. “Thank you, really.”

“I like doing things I’m good at,” Sabrina said honestly. “And I want to support you and the others. I’m just glad you gave me a chance.”

“Of course.”

Sabrina smiled, and in a spur of the moment, she held out her fist. “Pound it?”

Marinette smiled even wider, if that was possible, and tapped her own to it. “Pound it.”

[theadventurek9]

The Utility Journey

I've had some time to sit on the past weekend of trialing. There are a handful of you that have been following me for the past four years as I trained and started trialing in Utility. Maybe a few of you from when we were working on Aayla's novice title. I'm terrible at keep records but the earliest record I have of Aayla in Novice A Obedience is in March of 2018. So five years of obedience.

The first time I entered rally I spent some time sitting outside of the obedience ring and watching for a bit. I remember thinking, nah. That's not for me. So I kept working on rally and hoping I could get into Agility. Then with a few nudges from my the people who were teaching me Rally to try obedience I started training and entered novice.

I remember then more intently watching all the levels. I though, I'll just get Aayla's CD, then maybe think about open. Forget Utility. Scentwork? Go outs? A class almost no one qualifies in? The dogs and people looked stoic and frankly no one looked like they were having any fun. I remember clearly telling myself "I'm never doing utility"

While training to enter Open I started thinking, why not train for Utility? If we get there we get there. Yet I started watching utility more and more. There was something about it, the difficulty, the challenge and the overall achievement of making it to a level that a lot don't get to. In 2019 I started training Aayla on scent articles. Thinking if I can get her to do scent articles, I can for sure train the rest.

Well we ended up training scent articles. It took us about two years but Aayla got solid enough that I started training for the other exercises. While I always thought that scent articles would be the hardest, we were heavily challenged by the go outs on directed jumping and more recently the directed retrieve.

In May of 2022 we tried for Graduate Open, so the baby Utility class. We NQed, but went home with homework and had an idea of what to work on. Then in June 2022, we tried entering the Utility ring for the first time. Both trial days we NQed. More homework, more things to work on. Then we tried three trials for a total of 6 days in September. We managed to barely scrape by with one Q. I was elated for that Q, it was a small glimmer of light that maybe we could do Utility. Yet the following 5 NQs showed that she was just not ready. I pulled out of trials and we worked on more proofing and confidence.

After 8 months of work we again entered but I thought I wanted to switch her to preferred. First day I entered her in graduate open again for the confidence building. She Qed, and then got 1/3 Qs for preferred Utility the following three days. She felt okay but was having issues with her directed retrieve. Overall performance was good but not great yet. Felt like our performance was shakey. I read more in preferred Utility and felt frustrated that it was going to be a longer road to get a POC or anything else because we would have to start over with preferred Open as well. So I decided to switch her back to regular, meaning that her preferred utility leg would mean nothing.

A few months later we entered another four day trial. Graduate Open and three days of regular utility. She Qed in Utility one day, but even the days she NQed felt stronger in the exercises. Like she was getting it. Two legs down and one to go. I was still unhappy with our Q rate and was really starting to wonder if we would get this class down well enough to even have a shot at UDX let alone OM or OTCH.

Then I ended up entering Aayla in a Wildcard Utility class for ASCA. (Regular Utility but it doesn't count for anything, since she didn't have her CDX title with ASCA yet) Out of two days she had a solid Q one day and a NQ the second with her directed retrieve being the issue. Yet this meant that Aayla's Q rate was increasing. She Qed in utility at least one day at the past three trial weekends. I was starting to feel better and hope was growing.

Then this weekend she was entered in Utility three days in a row. Day one she was very solid on all of her exercise. Only issue was with the cleaning I did on the articles. She NQed cause she didn't bring me the first one. She found it, picked it up and spit it out like it was gross, searched hard again but ended up not wanting to bring it to me. So handler error. Yet everything else was very very good. For the first time it was a confident and correct run on every exercise.

Then the following two days she Qed easily with minimal issues. Getting her highest scores and equally Qing in Open both days a well. She Qed 4/5 Obedience classes and it would have been 5/5 if I had not mishandled my articles. She was confident and so good! We had some little hiccups like an autofinish and a crooked go out. Yet overall the main components are there. Now just to chip away at the little errors. Yet her Q rate is phenomenal this weekend. I now am back to feeling like we can get her UDX, and we have a higher chance for both a OTCH and OM than I have ever thought.

Yet having a UD behind Aayla's name makes me want to tear up. This dog had done so much for me. She has tried so hard and learned so much. She has a Utility Title, she is my first Utility dog. My Novice A dog that got all the way to UD for me. I didn't think we would get here, but here we are. We've reached this goal and are now running for the stars. Don't know how far we will get before she or her body decides no more, but there is a part of me that is content now. Content that she has achieved this. Content that she has a title worthy of her. That my first dog to get all the way to a UD was her.

Now onwards and up to see what else we can do together.

[equallyshaw]

𝔡𝔯𝔦𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔰 𝔩𝔦𝔠𝔢𝔫𝔰𝔢 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔱𝔶𝔰𝔬𝔫 𝔧𝔬𝔰𝔱

Warnings: talks of trauma/ptsd, parents killed in car accident.

Word Count: 2.9 k

also it's 2019-2020 here. got her license in 2019, dont mind the mask. also, she is nameless. an oc without a name.

Sour Masterlist.

Tyson is interchanging between you and he, in this.

Happy New Years!! Hope you guys had a wonderful evening, wish all the best this new year :)

────────────

⊹

I got my driver's license last week

Just like we always talked about

'Cause you were so excited for me

⊹

We met at a Gabe's christmas party, in 2016. I knew Mel from my older sister, they both worked in the same industry. At 18 years old, I still hadn't learned how to drive due to a car accident when I was a kid. I remember I admitted that after we had spent the night with one another two months after we had been talking. You smiled at me, no amusement, no sarcasm or snort in sight. You genuinely, wanted to teach me how to drive and I remember blushing like a fool, and happy tears brim my eyes. Nobody had ever offered, besides my sister.

The very next time we hanged out, on a sunny April afternoon, you smiled and somehow got me to get in that damn drivers seat. I remember having an anxiety attack, I began to shake and cry. With flashbacks of that horrible accident, with me in the backseat. You instantly jumped out of the car, opened the driver's car and kneeled down next to me. Your hands found mine, then set a hand on my knee. Comforting me as much as you could, not knowing or understanding how I felt. You wiped my tears away, giving me a small comforting smile. I frowned then, my lips quivering. You shushed me, bringing my hands up to your mouth and giving them a kiss. You promised me you were there, and that you'd always be. A few minutes later, you hopped back into the passenger seat and told me that I could do this, even if I went less than ten miles an hour in this abandoned parking lot. Somehow, someway I actually drove. Afterwards we got froyo, and I still remember the absolute horrible stomach ache you got. We barely made it to my aunt's house, a few block's drive. You came out of the washroom, and instantly placed your hands on my cheeks, giving me a huge kiss. I remember smiling, and wrapping my hands around yours. We parted, and you told me right then and there. "There is no chance in hell baby you're not getting your permit now!" You playfully joked, and then we marched down to the DMV.

⊹

And you're with that blonde girl

⊹

September rolled around, and so did training camp. You weren't at the DMV like you had promised you'd be. You promised that you were going to fly out a week early just to come with me and be there. Yet, you were not. Then I drove down to downtown Denver, to spend a day in the city shopping before class and I saw you. And I saw her. I swallowed the tears that began to form, before I turned around and out of that coffee shop. Im certain, you noticed my hair as I whipped around.

⊹

And I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one

And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone

⊹

We were together from Feburary of that year, and seemingly broke up around the beginning of August, though I had no idea. You forgot to mention that part, Ty. I think back to the times of no clarity, times where I felt like I was walking on egg shells. Feeling like I had to be somebody different, though I wasn't good enough. You forgot to remember or failed to realize, how in love I was. But you knew. You knew how I felt, confessing the same exact thing to me. How did that change? How did I not become enough? It took me a few months to finally feel like I could breathe, without feeling guilty. It always felt like one step forward and three steps back. It was like I was the love of your life, then I wasn't.

It made me angry. How could you simply discard me? Was I know longer enough for you? You toyed with me for some time, got bored and dumped me without telling me? Or were we never what I thought we were? Gabe and Mel tried their hardest to be there for me, but you were his teammate; so he could only be there so much for me. Mel didn't understand and her and my sister would have conversations here and there. You Tyson, just didn't seem like the type to do that. Though, here we are. I just don't see how you could be ok with your best friend to slip away like that, or was I never your best friend?

⊹

And all my friends are tired

Of hearing how much I miss you, but

I kinda feel sorry for them

'Cause they'll never know you the way that I do, yeah

⊹

I knew around Feburary, a year from when we started to date; everybody was tired about hearing him. How I would sometimes see him around town with that blonde girl. I knew they were tired hearing of how much I missed you. Though, they'd never understand. Mel and Gabe would never understand where I would come from. I felt sorry for them, that they'd never see that kid like freedom and kid like spontaneity from him. He'd always have to feel like he had to be 'on' around them, in order to be taken seriously.

They'd never know of him showing up to my sister's house at 9 am on a Sunday with coffee and a donut from the bakey down the street. Or the random brunch dates he would drag me to. Though, I always wanted to go. Free coffee, wouldn't you go? I took a gap year between my senior year of highschool and college, and that year was spent intandem with him. We would stay up to late talking with morning walks with coffee, and my sister and I's dog. We would run off to the zoo every so often, or to the Denver art museum, or one time we went to Breckenridge to ski and snowbaord. Though middway through, he found me in the lobby doing an 'Après-ski' but with hot coco and a croissant. He smiled at me, before giggling as he sat down in front of me at the coffee bar. Nobody knew the real Tyson, that so very few understood and witnessed. Despite, him dropping me like I was nothing; I'll be forever grateful for that time of freedom and childlike bliss with him.

⊹

I still see your face in the white cars, front yards

Can't drive past the places we used to go to

'Cause I still fuckin' love you

⊹

Once I got my license, I used to drive to Mel and Gabe's a lot in order to babysit them. You and a teammate named Jt, moved into a townhouse near them and sometimes I'd take the long way to go past; always to see if you were home. I sometimes drive past the zoo, the museums, the canal where we cayaked, the coffee shops and places where we had brunch dates. The bowling alley where some teammbonding and better halves dates happened. There are some days that I just end up at a place, without thinking. Once I park, or catch the street signs; I then realize where im at. Then head home or someplace else. I still love you Ty, and unfortunetly I can't fucking stop. Im afraid I never will.

⊹

I still hear your voice in the traffic, we're laughing

⊹

There were SO many times we got stuck in traffic, where some of our deepest and most revealing conversations happened. Where some of our fights happened, too. So many times I find myself in the passenger seat, hoping that when I looked over to my sister in the drive's seat, it'd somehow be you. And vice versa. Before we started dating, and right after we met you wanted to take me to see the christmas lights around the city. On the 22nd before you left for home in BC. I smiled shyly, and nodded at the christmas party. We drove around the suburbs, looking at the lights before making our way towards the city. We got stuck in traffic ten minutes away from the zoo lights, and for the first time in my life, I felt incredibly connected to somebody my age.

After my parents died in the car accident, with me in the back seat; I always had trouble connecting with those around me because nobody understood what it was like going through something so life changing and horrific. So I kept to myself, especially the four years after. I finally made two friends, but other than that; I did not have anybody. Certaintly, no boy as a friend. You were my first friend guy friend, and that made me warm and fuzzy inside. In the most platonic and innocence way. I kept that hidden until late Feburary, and again no judgement or alternate thoughts came from you. You accepted that huge part of me, one that has forged a barrier between me and driving. Me and growing up as an adult, and moving on in life. I was always scared that when that happened, I'd be leaving a period of life, a chapter of life that my parents were not apart of. I was 14 when they died, and told myself I'd never drive in my lifetime. Then you came along. And while we sat in that traffic, as I struggled to hold it together, you made me laugh. You told me about growing up in BC, playing hockey, your little sister. Everything. How you were lucky to have JT through all of this, and that he was your bestfriend after only meeting him at training camp. For one of the first time's after the accident, I felt safe in a car. And it was because of you.

I reached out to you when the Pandemic began in March 2020, over a year since we had first met. Only seven months after you and I stopped talking, well you stopped talking. I simply just wanted to make sure you were safe, and to see how you were doing without hockey. I thought that you weren't gonna respond, then a crisp 2 minutes later you did. You told me how you were doing, how lonely you were feeling a week into being alone in the townhouse while JT went home to Chicago with his girlfriend. How upset that you were not able to secure a plane ride home to BC. And that you missed me. I remember pausing once that single message came in, and rereading it over and over again. I wouldn't cave though. He didn't deserve for me to cave. So I simply stated, 'me too.' And I left you on read for two more weeks.

After three weeks altogether, I got a facetime from you around 2 am Mountain time and you were having your first anxiety attack. I remember my heart beating out of my chest, not know what to do over the phone. Once you calmed down after about 10 minutes on facetime, you looked me in the eyes and apologized. Apologized for not only dropping me but how you treated me sometimes in our relationship. I nodded, thanking you. Yet, not givig him much to draw on. I again reiterated that I wished you the best, and hung up. I deleted out messages that sat at the bottom of my conversations list. I blocked your number, sighing a breath of relief. I needed that closure without realizing it.

Yet, he'd always be there with a thorn. You'd always have a sore spot in my heart but with a warning sign. Because you promised to be there, after everything we went through and how long it took me to get to said place; and you weren't there. Did you even love me, like I loved you?

•

@herusername: got my license baby !!!!!

Tags: @mel.landeskog and @sistersusername

350 likes, 87 comments.

||

@mel.landeskog: so proud of you honey!!!!

@sistersusername: so stinking proud of you. Mom and dad would be too🤍

@gabelandeskog: heck yes!!!! Got a new chauffeur now

@herusername: boy bye

@mel.landeskog: my (soul) sister got her licenses today. Never been so proud before, you’re gonna me an amazing aunt. I just know it. Also, a babysitter ;)

200 likes, 19 comments. @tysonjost has liked this photo.

Tag: @herusername

@herusername: ahhh love u. Can’t wait to meet baby landeskog !!!

@bigh0rny: congrats little one 👊🏻

@tysonbarrie: congrats !!

@ryanoreilly: yay!

@natemackinnon: awesome party, why wasn’t I invited??

@bigh0rny: I would like to know why I wasn’t either

@sistersusername: best hype squad in the world

@mel.landeskog: totally !!

@vanessamorgan: ahh congrats baby girl!!!

────────────

Hope you guys enjoyed!!!! Please reblog and like, with any feedback. I appreciate it :)

Random tags: @jayda12 @fallinallincurls @jostystyles @comphyjost @zegras2crosby @mack-samo @andreburakozy @makarhughes @slafgoalskybaby

[combatfaerie]

Ficlet: Christmas in Ireland

Story: 2019: Christmas in Ireland Word count: 1,360 Relationship(s): Becky/Seth Also available at: AO3 and Wattpad and dreamwidth Summary: Seth spends his first Christmas in Ireland with Becky's family.

"You're sure they won't mind that I'm here?" Seth can hear the lively Christmas party from out in the yard, music and laughter spilling out into the starry night.

Becky hugs his arm, and not just because she has a bit of a chill from standing in place. "Of course not. Why would they mind? Ma already knows we're coming," she points out, "so there'll be plenty of food for everyone." She almost adds that her father is looking forward to taking a walk with him—Ken's favourite way to get to know someone—but she isn't sure if that would sound ominous.

"I know. But... it's family. You hardly over get back here. They might not want to share their time with you, especially with... someone who gets to see you all the time," Seth hedges. He and Becky have been dating for almost a year—the anniversary of their first kiss will be in about a month, and he was wondering if he could justify getting her a present for that or if it would just be weird—and he had proposed back in August, but their relationship still feels new... and delicate. Becky had definitely toned down her humour when she first met his mother and stepfather, only to remember she had interacted with them a few times before, back when she and Seth were just friends. Seth only knows Becky's family in passing, and he wants to make a good impression. Monopolizing time with Becky when they are lucky to see her once a year wouldn't be the way to do it.

Becky curls a hand around the back of his neck, making sure the metal of her engagement ring touches his skin. Because of wrestling, she can't wear it as often as she would like, but she puts it on almost every day, even if it is just to admire it. "You're family now, remember?" she says gently. "Or as close as." She slides her other hand in his jacket and pats his side. "You've already talked with Ma and Da and my brother on the phone, and you met Ma and Richy yesterday." Then she gestures at the house, as brightly lit and welcoming as a Christmas tree. "It's just them, my stepdad, my brother's girlfriend, a few cousins. They didn't want to overwhelm you, so it's a smaller gathering tonight. Gifts will be tomorrow. There's a going to be a bigger party before we leave, and if you feel comfortable enough, we'll go to that one too."

Seth kisses the top of her head before opening the small gate. He had been to Europe plenty of times to wrestle, but rarely spent any real time there, at least not in residential neighbourhoods. The area where Becky's mother and stepfather live looks like a calendar cliche, with little wrought-iron gates and filigreed streetlamps. "You're definitely going," he insists. "I don't want you to miss out on anything because of me."

"We'll see. Come on." Becky takes his hand again and leads him up the small walkway to the cozy house. She points to the doorbell button and adds, "Want to do the honours?"

"Will they even be able to hear it?" Seth dutifully presses it anyway, and is stunned when the door opens almost instantly, revealing a beaming Annette. "Er, hi... Annette." He blanks on her married name and hopes Becky's insistence that he's family now holds true.

"Rebecca! Seth!" Annette gathers them both in a hug. "Would you like the family to call you Seth while you're here or Colby? I'm sure the cousins will end up using Seth because they watch the wrestling...."

"Either's fine. Whichever's easier." Seth steps back so Becky can go inside first, both to get warm and to give her mother a proper hug. They've visited various family members in the few days they've been in Dublin, but Becky still hugs everyone enthusiastically each time. He pulls the door shut behind him and leans down to hug Annette again.

"Becky and Seth are here!" Annette announces, barely giving them a minute to hang up their coats before people start poking their heads around the corner to greet them. "Drinks are in the kitchen, so you can help yourselves. We have some snacks in there and out here and..." She gestures to the house at large. "There's bits of everything everywhere. You know how it is!"

Seth lets Becky lead him into the main room, even though she's far too short to use as a shield. A warm greeting rises up as soon as they step inside and to him, it feels louder than some of the indie crowds he wrestled in front of. "Hey, Seth!" Richy comes up and hugs him first, though Seth's not sure if he's doing it to be nice or because Becky's being greeted by a cousin. "Good to see you again!"

"Thanks! You too." Richy doesn't wrestle anymore, but he still loves the sport and Seth is glad it gives them some common ground. "How does everyone fit in here?" he marvels. He and his mom lived in some pretty small houses when he was growing up, but the lower ceilings make Annette's home feel extra cozy.

"The Irish will make a party happen anywhere," Richy insists. When he can finally snag his sister, he pulls Becky over. "Hey, Becks. Don't forget to put some ornaments on the tree." He gestures at the large tree in the corner, which only looks half decorated.

Seth wonders if it's a family tradition to decorate it at a gathering like this: maybe everyone gets to put an ornament on, or maybe people do so when they're dropping in for the holidays. Becky finds a box and hands Seth a small reindeer ornament. "Wherever there's a spot," she says. "You're tall, so aim near the top." Then she glances up and frowns. "Ma, where's the star?"

As if on cue, Annette comes over holding a glass star and hands the power cord to her son. "I was thinking Seth might like to do it this year. He's tall, so...." Then she pats his shoulder. "You don't have to, of course. I forgot to ask Rebecca if you do Christmas. I know she said you aren't religious."

Seth glances around the room and shakes his head. No one's specifically looking at him, but he knows this is less about religion and all about family. "My mom and I basically did the tree and presents, but... I'd be happy to." He edges past a table and does an experimental reach, checking to see if he'll be able to place the topper on his own. "Richy, you ready?"

"Better now than when I have another pint in me, anyway," Richy teases, taking the star over to the tree and handing it to Seth. Then he drops his voice so low Seth barely hears it. "This side faces out," he explains, "and it has a bit of a lean to it. Don't worry. It's not you."

"Thanks." Seth glances back at Becky, who's hanging a ceramic harp on the tree and trying not to smile too much. He quickly hangs up his reindeer and then takes the star from Richy, placing it with the utmost care. "How does that look?" he asks.

"Perfect! Turn on the light, Richy." Annette claps when all the lights on the tree, including the newly added star topper, are glowing. "Wonderful! Thank you."

It takes Seth a few minutes to make his way back to Becky, because he gets waylaid by various cousins and relatives introducing themselves, but when he does, she's holding out a chocolate truffle for him. "Don't worry. It's caramel. No mint." Then she goes on tiptoe and kisses him. "Thank you," she murmurs, hugging him close.

"My pleasure." The party is a bit much for him, or maybe it's just overwhelming because he's trying to make a good impression. But the heart of it—the family, the closeness, the warmth—that's all something he can't wait to make his own with Becky back home, wherever they decide home is going to be.

[melodyofthevoid]

Writing Wrap Up 2022

So... this year I want to take a bit of a different approach. The last 2 years I’ve wrapped up my writing by posting one from each month and thanking y’all for reading, which I thought about but then... it hit me. 

I haven’t really posted anywhere near half of what I’ve written this year. 

It’s a little insane to me, I’ve posted a shit ton these last 2 years, racked up an impressive word count for sure, but this year was. Different. For a few reasons. 

So this is just going to be me contemplating and examining how my writing has changed this year, if you’ll indulge me. 

Talking with a friend, the year itself stuck out to me. 2022. 3 years since I started writing at all. To keep the story brief, I wrote my first work on winter break back in 2019 at the behest of my bestie @/freshfruitforrottingvegetables (I’ve @’d them enough times crediting them for this) and posted it on ao3. I’ve pretty much been writing non-stop since. Invader Zim got me into writing, and the community I found there boosted me and gave me an absolutely incredible support system. 

But, other than the occasional reblog, this isn’t really a Zim blog anymore. I certainly don’t write about it as much, if ever. Now there’s a few reasons for that, not the least of which being almost 3 years is the longest I’ve had a fixation in a while. I’m amazed it held on as long as it did. Second was... I finished the royalty au. It’s almost hard to remember the beginning of this year but back in March, I posted the last chapter of “Isn’t it A Trial”, wrapping up the project I’d spent nearly two years trying to complete. My first big project. 

And it was done. 

There were a few other behind the scenes things that led to distancing from IZ from a writing standpoint but those aren’t really the point of this. 

For the first time since starting this journey, I was... on my own, so to speak. It was weird, scary at times even. Hell, I’m still very much adjusting to doing entirely OC work. The circle of people I’m posting to isn’t a huge thriving fandom, it’s just my mutuals, and those who’ve come to love the Ocean Idiots crew. I throw in some of my (and @/shmunter’s) ocs in as well, but that’s what I’ve been writing from y’all’s perspective. 

As I said, that’s not even a fraction of the stuff I’ve written in my own time that I don't post. Before, I was writing for an audience on some level. They were always stories I wanted to tell, but there was also the excitement of putting them in a pool of collaboration and community. That there were others. Now, these are my stories almost (really key word of almost, I’m not claiming sole ownership of anything) entirely. 

So I’ve had to adjust. I’m still adjusting. I’ve had a lot of days where writing had been a real uphill battle for me and I questioned the quality of my work. What does it mean now that I’m writing for a more narrow group? Is there a point to it? Am I less inspired now? How can I tell I’m growing or not? Can I tackle the scope of project I want to tackle next? Each time I think about it, it gets more and more daunting, overwhelming even. 

That one post about “Aww did you scare yourself out of doing a project” plays often in my mind. Very often. 

It’s going to be a weird year, even few years going forward. Graduation is on the horizon, with the prospect of maybe moving out and making it on my own from here on. I might move away, I might stay home. There’s a lot of unknowns and within that is what I’m going to do with my writing as well. It’s a part of me now without question, but what form will it take? Will I take? 

Much to consider.

So for this moment, I’m choosing to focus on celebrating the changes that have happened, the work I’ve done this year. The ways I’ve improved, the small leaps into different original ideas that I’ve had. I’ve had a ton of fun with making aus for just myself and like- one other person. I had a blast writing for my old DND characters too! There’s a lot to be proud of, and that’s what matters. 

I want to see what I can do, and I think sticking to some short stories while I shore up and figure out what to do with my bigger concepts might be where I go. Maybe not. Who knows. But at the end of the day, we’ll find out when we get there. Thank you, all of you, for your support, your comments, and your encouragement this year. It’s been a good one, for all its ups and downs. 

[leafs-lover]

Too Far Gone - Part Thirty Six

Series Masterlist

Warnings: very brief mentions of drinking, swearing, some fluff, little pain

Word Count: 4300

September 1, 2019

For early September, the sun is strikingly hot. Tia can feel it prickling the nape of her neck, her skin burns from sitting with the windows down all day.

Heavy brown eyes are trained on the beautiful brick home with a double car garage and perfectly landscaped lawn. There isn’t a single weed in the garden that is flowing with Hydrangea’s, Hostas and brightly coloured flowers, a large sugar maple in the middle of the luscious green grass.

Ever since that day when Tia couldn’t leave the bus stop, she has made progress. She returned a few days later and walked by five houses before she froze. A few days later she made it to the end of Shavers Street but was unable to turn onto Downing – the street where Kylie lives. The next time she made it onto Downing Street, but not to her house. Every time she has made it a little bit further. Today she found Kylie’s house staring back at her.

Nobody knows that for the last month she has been trying to muster the strength to walk up the driveway and knock on Kylie’s door. She hasn’t seen her friends since Beck’s birthday because they will instantly know she is hiding something, and she can’t tell them this.

But really, what would she say? “I took 115 steps on a road before turning around and going to fuck Thomas” – because almost every time she doesn’t make it to Kylie’s door she ends up at his. Fucking, drinking, partying with his friends, taking lines. He patches the leaking holes within her heart wellenough for her to carry on and try again.

With Auston and Taylour in Arizona, she decided today was the day. She had made it within three houses a few days ago, at this point there was only one place left to go. To the front door.

She asked to borrow Auston’s car - and of course he said yes. He was thankful she was finally asking him for help, even though something so small. He has no idea that she drove it for less than twenty minutes and has since spent the last five hours parked on the street of an expensive upper-middle class Etobicoke neighbourhood.

It has been five hours of reaching for the door handle, only to slump back against the sticky leather seat. Five hours of bringing her hand over the starter button ready to scurry home, only to mutter how it was stupid to leave emptyhanded after finally making it this far. It has been five hours of sitting in the ridiculously expensive car, windows down and leather burning the backs of her thighs while she thought of what to say.

So far, she has come up with, ‘Hi I’m Tia’ but what comes next?

During the last five hours she watched a blue Ford focus pull up beside a silver Nissan Murano and two kids - Tia guessed to be between 8 and 12 - ran across the lawn into the house. A middle-aged man with glasses and dark hair not far behind them. He went inside and a few minutes later came outside to cut the grass. Since then, he watered the garden and lawn, put air in the boys’ bike tires, then started on organizing the garage.

One of the neighbours has three kids and their daughter plays softball. Another went grocery shopping and the older couple across the street took their shih tzu on a walk but stopped to talk to him on their way by. A seemingly normal and boring afternoon, for the boring residents of Downing Street.

The house while older is well maintained. It is large, easily a four-bedroom, maybe even five, probably with a large eat in kitchen. Tia has spent five hours observing everything about this house and found herself wondering if the kitchen gets used for family dinners, if the living room holds game nights, or if the backyard is spent hosting barbeques and pool parties.

At times throughout the day, she saw herself there, occupying that fourth bedroom, joining in on Sunday breakfasts, hopping on the TTC for Friday nights in the city. She saw herself growing up with height notches in door frames, and cliche school pictures lining the hallway. She wondered if Kylie and Paul would have stayed together, or if she would have spent half her summer in whatever city her dad was stationed in, the other half in Toronto with Kylie and her brothers. Are those two boys her stepbrothers or half brothers?

Tia ran through a million scenarios, but they all stopped when the front door opened and out stepped Kylie.

5’7” with long wavy chestnut brown hair, she has on a pair of high rise dark washed cropped jeans, a simple olive-green t-shirt on that is tucked into the front. A nude coloured YSL purse is thrown over her shoulder, and a pair of dark framed sunglasses covering her eyes.

She walks up to the man Tia has spent the afternoon watching and they talked for a minute. Her smile grew and her head fell back with a soft laugh as she gave his arm a squeeze. With a brief kiss to the lips, she climbed into the driver’s seat of the Murano and drove down the street.

It was a simple interaction, but one that left Tia with a pit in her stomach. She didn’t realize how much she unconsciously wanted that to be her life until Kylie drove away, and once again she was left with nothing.

**

“Wow!” Taylour gasps under his breath watching Brey take a shot.

With it being their last day in Arizona until the following summer, they planned a fun day with his family. Auston and Fred went to the rink early in the morning with his mom and Taylour. They watched them practice with some of the Coyotes players that have returned to prepare for the upcoming season.

Once everyone left Auston laced up Taylour’s skates and put on his helmet and gloves, handed him his freshly cut and taped stick, and for the first time he brought out a puck. Fred stood in the net, and Auston stood behind Taylour, helping him take shots. Auston helped Taylour maneuver the ice with a stick and skates, and Taylour giggled every time Fred let the puck slide past him.

Ema stood on the bench taking pictures and videos and Taylour never wanted to leave. He only did when they told him they could watch the Zamboni and go to mini putt. Once the boys had showered, they all jumped in his car and drove to the course where the rest of the family was already waiting.

Taylour of course had to shoot first and giggled when the ball bounced out the course into the small garden beside it. Auston was next, then Fred, but he has been in awe of Breyana - who has had some stellar shots, even a hole in one.

“So good Auntie Brey!” he jumps up when her ball stops inches from the hole. “You teach me?” he cranes to look up at her.

“Don’t want me to teach you?” Auston retorts, somewhat bitterly, but also smirking at his sister.

“Auntie Brey is better than you Daddy,” Taylour replies bluntly. Even though Auston should be offended, the sweetness and innocence in his son’s voice makes it impossible.

Raising her eyebrows, Breyanna grins at Auston, “hear that? Your son said I am better than you.”

“At mini putt,” Auston shrugs it off, trying to not let it get to him, but being an athlete, he is conditioned to win. “Get you on some skates and we’ll see who is better,” Auston mutters under his breath.

“Such a sore loser,” Alex teases stepping up to the tee.

“Hit it here,” Taylour runs over and touches a spot on the side the edge of the course. “It will bounce and then go over there,” he points towards the hole.

“Right there?” Alex points her club in the direction where he is standing, and he smiles wide nodding back at her. Auston lifts Taylour and places him a few feet over, off the course letting Alex line up her shot. He excitedly watches her take the shot with wide and beaming eyes as the ball hits the wood plank about six inches shy of where he pointed, and it ricochets towards the corner.

“Good try Auntie Alex!” he runs over to her for a high five. “You’ll get it next time.”

**

Tia knew she should have left.

When Kylie drove off so did the answer to every question Tia had. But finally seeing Kylie changed everything, it all became real. That was her mom; she was thirty feet away, and nothing could have prepared her for that.

Nausea rose up her throat and threatened to spill on the floor of Auston’s $100,000 Porsche. Her hands trembled and her breathing became uneasy, rapid, and shallow. She was thankful for the faint breeze that started to dance through the trees, it helped to cool the sticky sheen of sweat rippling down her spine.

“Hello?” the knocking on metal slowly draws Tia out of it. A silhouette steps in front of the sun, blocking the glare. Blinking a few times to allow her eyes to adjust her stomach flips. Its him.

“Hi, can I help you?” Tia doesn’t answer, struggling to formulate a thought let alone words. “You’ve been sitting here for a while, staring at me.” Annoyance and confusion are heavy in his words.

“I…I…uh…” Reaching for to start the car, all words are lost on her. “I have to go.”

“I have your plate number, if you don’t tell me why you’ve been sitting here for hours, you can tell the cops.”

**

With the warm sun falling behind Camelback Mountain, their last night in Arizona for the year is coming to a close. After a busy day filled with mini putt, swimming, Ema’s homecooked food and Taylour’s never-ending giggles, his family said goodbye. Once everyone left and everything slowed, it didn’t take long for the excitement of the day to catch up to Taylour. He spent twenty minutes lying on the stone surrounding the pool with a few of his Paw Patrol cars, quietly rolling them back and forth while Fred and Auston sit close by.

With one eye on Taylour, and a cold beer in each of their hands, they talked about the upcoming season, and the girl Fred had been seeing. Auston told him about the Brittney/ Bridgette fiasco, about Tia, and for the first time in a while when Fred heard his friend say they were in a good place to parent together Fred believed him. A part of him thought he heard glimmer of hope in his voice when he talked about her, but three seconds later Taylour slid his car into the pool, once Auston retrieved it the conversation shifted.

“Fweddie,” Taylour walks over to the outdoor table and picks up a book. Holding it out for him to see, he smiles, “You read to me?”

“You want me to read to you?” Auston instantly asks, uncrossing his leg to create space for him to sit with him.

“No Daddy,” Taylour shakes his head, keeping direct eye contact with the red-headed Dane before him. “I want Fweddie.”

“You want me to -“ Fred trails off when Taylour nods and starts to force his way into his lap. “Oh…okay...”

Fred is completely perplexed. Over the past three days together Fred has noticed that Taylour loves to play with anyone and everyone, but whenever he gets sleepy or upset its Auston he turns too. Breakfast must be prepared by Auston (because Fred puts peanut butter on toast wrong), every snack he wants must come from Auston, and when he scraped his knee and needed a band aid – Auston was the one he ran to with tears in his eyes.

Fred loves being the “fun uncle” that playfully tosses him in the pool, but this part is new, and he doesn’t know how to feel about it. The truth is Fred doesn’t see himself being a dad, he never has. It has nothing to do with him not finding the right person to share life with, he had a relationship with an amazing girl, he just doesn’t want kinds. He likes the freedom of being able to jet off to Arizona for a weekend at the end of summer, not having someone depending on him every second of every day.

He can tell that Auston is happy, could even argue the happiest he has ever been. Whenever around Taylour he is always smiling from ear to ear, the two of them are always scheming and producing crazy plans to splash Fred in the pool or attack him with nerf guns. Being a dad changed Auston for the better, Taylour made him a better man and Fred loved watching him fall into a roll he was perfectly suited for, but that didn’t change his own personal beliefs. In fact, its only further lamented this decision, he does not want this life.

“Pirate Pups,” Fred reads out the title. Cracking open the spine, he flips to the first page.

Standing up Auston hands Geoffery to Taylour, and he instantly pulls him tight to his chest, snuggling up closer to Fred while a sharp yawn leaks from his lips. Auston settles back into the couch adjacent them, with a large grin rising on his face. He pulls his phone out and begins snapping multiple pictures of the two of them and opens Snapchat just in time for Taylour to scold his friend.

“No Fweddie,” Taylour asserts, cutting him off as he reads the book in a monotone voice.

“What Taylour?” Fred turns his eyes from the book to Taylour

“You’re…you’re reading it wrong,” Taylour sighs, pointing to picture of Rubble on the page.

“What? It’s not wrong.” Auston can hear confusion but also a little discontentment in his friend’s voice as he tries to find the problem. It is glaringly obvious to Auston, and maybe it comes from being a dad, but it humours him Fred can’t see the problem because that is exactly what is written on the page.

“That’s not how he says it,” Taylour huffs.

Fred’s jaw gapes, and he instantly looks to Auston with wide eyes. His friend provides him little assistance, instead continues to record the entire interaction while chuckling quietly behind the camera.

“How he says it?” Fred addresses Taylour. “How does he say it?”

“With the voice, you have to do Rubble’s voice,” Taylour’s voice rises sightly as he becomes more exhausted than before. “Daddy does his voice.”

Raising his eyebrows, Auston just smirks and nods, silently telling his friend to do the voice. Taylour has watched Paw Patrol every morning while waiting for breakfast, and it has played sporadically throughout the day while he plays with his toys. Fred had zero desire or need to watch a show about cartoon dogs, and either removed himself from the room or distracted himself on his phone. He has no idea what a cartoon dog would sound like, and why the story has to have the voices.

Fred sits there for a moment, processing everything, then turns back to the book. Accepting defeat - because its very obvious Taylour makes most of the rules - he sighs, then repeats the line doing his best pirate impression. “Arr!” said Rubble. “Shiver me timbers!” Taylour’s eyes light up and he grins up at Fred. “I do it right?” he asks.

Taylour vehemently nods, “yes Fweddie, do it again!”

Taylour didn’t make it to the end of the book. Three pages later his eyes were becoming too heavy to stay open and four more they never opened again. With only a few pages left Fred was pretty convinced he was asleep - curled tight into his arms clenching Geoffery with soft and even breathing – but he didn’t want to run the risk of stopping and getting yelled at by a toddler for the second time that night, so he finished the book.

“Does this make you consider changing your mind?” Auston asks. He doesn’t care either way if any of his friend have kids, he just doesn’t know how Taylour couldn’t convince someone.

“No,” Fred laughs, placing the book beside him on the couch. “I don’t think I can handle someone telling me I’m reading wrong every day for the rest of my life.”

“Who reads to a kid and doesn’t do animated voices?” Auston laughs at the absurdity.

“You don’t need voices to read, you just read, the story –“

“It’s a children’s book Fred,” Auston smirks while raising his tone slightly. “Children need the voices.”

“Guess I can add that to the list of reasons not to have kids.” Gently brushing aside some of Taylour’s hair, Fred smiles at the small child in his arms. “Don’t get me wrong because Taylour is great,” Auston smiles faintly from across the patio, “but the more time I spend with him, the more it affirms my decision. I don’t want kids. Don’t know how you do this, and alone.”

“I’m not alone. Have my family, the team, you,” he emphasizes. Standing up he takes a few steps across the patio and crouches down. Pulling Taylour out of Fred’s arms, he shifts to let him rest on his shoulder, “and Tia. We might not be together, but I’ll forever be doing this with her.”

**

“I have your plate number, if you don’t tell me why you’ve been sitting here for hours, you can tell the cops.”

Her hand falls from the button starter and she sighs. Should she lie? What is an acceptable lie for sitting in front of a stranger’s house staring at them for hours on end? What if he doesn’t buy the lie? The last thing she needs is the police getting involved, and yet another article coming out about her. She can see the headlines and knows it won’t take long for the rumours to start up again. Except this time, the rumours would lean heavily on her being an escort. They will say, she was meeting a client, what else could she be doing in the upper-middle class Etobicoke neighbourhood?

Can she tell him the truth? Does he even know who she is? And even if he does, is she welcome here? Her mom did walk out on her over twenty-two years ago and never came back, there has to be a reason for it, what if she is the reason?

In the time Tia spent considering her options, his eyes have narrowed, and posture stiffened. His icy blue eyes bear down at her, his frustration only growing with every second, and the longer she takes the more she worries he will go through on his threat and phone the police.

“I…I’m…” she sighs once again. Her mouth is dry, and the collar of her shirt feels as if it is getting tight to her throat, restricting the airflow. Bringing her hand up to pull the fabric away, as if the loose material is actually causing the issue, she tries to speak again. “I’m Tia.” Her voice is hardly louder than a whisper. After hours of thinking of what to say she finally said everything she planned and not a word more. She didn’t know what to expect to happen, but it did not provide any relief, in fact everything is too much and not enough, all at once. “I’m…Kylie is…”

“I know who you are.” He interrupts her, giving a sympathetic smile. “Do you want to come in?”

“I’m okay,” she whispers awkwardly, biting on her lower lip as a lump traps in her throat. Tia doesn’t know if it makes her feel better or worse to know Kylie spoke about her.

“Please, you’ve been in a hot car all day,” his voice is full of concern. “The sun has been beating on you, come into the shade and I’ll get you a drink.”

Tia didn’t remember agreeing, stepping out of the car, or walking down the driveway and past the perfect gardens, but she found herself sitting on their front porch shakily holding a glass of water with her eyes locked on the concrete. He sat across from her with one leg crossed over the other, his water sitting on a coaster beside some assorted vegetables and dip he brought out for them. And even though she’s outside in the fresh air, she still feels trapped. Claustrophobic.

She didn’t know what to expect of the man she assumes is Kylie’s husband, her stepdad, but it wasn’t this. Her dad has hazel eyes and sandy hair, a muscular frame from the years of military training and never more than a layer of stubble lining his jaw. This man is much slender, but taller than Paul, with jet black hair and light eyes, he has a thick beard that is trimmed short outlines his jaw. Physically the two could not be further apart.

“Kylie is getting her hair done,” he explains, removing his glasses to clean them.

Tia says nothing, just nods, cheeks flushed red with anxiety.

“She’ll be back in an hour or two.”

Silence again.

“You must have a million questions.”

Tia blankly nods.

“I know I’m not Kylie, but I might be able to answer some of them.”

God, he seems so fucking nice. Too nice. Bringing out lemon water and snacks, offering for them to sit inside with the air conditioning for her to cool off. Something has to be wrong with him. There is no way he can be this nice while being with a woman who did such a horrendous thing.

“What’s your name?” she finally speaks, tapping her finger on the rim of her glass anxiously.

“Damion,” he chuckles.

“And your -?”

“Kylie’s husband, we’ve been married for four years, together for seven.”

Clicking her tongue Tia nods. Droplets of condensation ripple over her fingers, down the outside of the glass onto her thigh, cooling her skin that is slightly burnt from hours of sun beating down.

Damion stares at Tia for almost a minute, examining her features, recognizing the similarities between her and his wife. Apart from the hair and eye colour which are almost identical to Kylie, her eyes are round with a slight uptick in the corner, nose is long and narrow and jaw slightly rounded. All things he wakes up to everyday. It baffles him how he didn’t realize all the similarities sooner.

“You look so much like her,” he says, almost in disbelief.

“Great,” she mutters sarcastically, shifting the chilled glass to be closer to her lips. Tia doesn’t know why, but the thought of taking anything from a woman that disowned her, flips her stomach. What else does she take from her? Even worse, what did Taylour take from her?

“I don’t know how I didn’t see it before,” he continues to talk to himself.

“Dad?” one of the two boys pops his head out, providing Tia some form of a break. “Can I ride my bike to Kevin’s?”

“I don’t know Jamie, it’s kind of far,” he finally looks away from Tia, and it provides her with relief to no longer be under the scrutiny of his cobalt stare.

“Please? Mom lets me do it, I just have to stay on the sidewalk and walk by bike across the road.”

“That’s Jamie, my oldest from a previous marriage.” Damion explains once Jamie walks over to the garage to get his bike. “Their mom, Sarah was diagnosed with cancer before our youngest was born. She decided to stop chemo when we found out she was pregnant, and unfortunately by the time Daniel was born there was nothing that could be done for her, she passed away three months later. Kylie has been great with them; they don’t really know a time without her and –“

Tia heart stiffened harder than a block of granite. At that moment she no longer felt any pain, completely detached from her emotions, operating like a robot. Kylie couldn’t even try to be a mother to her but chose to be ‘mom” to those boys for seven years.

She made one of the most selfish decisions imaginable leaving her and Paul alone, then followed it up with one of the most selfless decisions - the decision to raise someone else’s kids as her own. It makes her wonder what she could have done for her to not come back. How there was never a point while raising someone else’s kids she thought of her own.

“I have to go.” She whispers awkwardly, interrupting him.

He almost looks disappointed when Tia slams her cup onto the patio table a little too hard, the water sloshing over onto her hand. Damion quickly stands up. “Can I get your number? Kylie could –“

“This was a mistake. I shouldn’t have come.” Tia cuts him off.

Tia waited until she was past him, then brought her hand over her mouth, but it was too late. With a trembling bottom lip, tears instantly erupted down her cheeks, more and more with every step she takes. She heard Damion call her name but continues to stumble her way across his perfect green grass towards the car.

She lets out a mangled sob as she starts the engine. Her heart is angrily beating out of her chest as the cloud of misplaced delusions begins to lift. If they are the type to have Sunday dinners and Thursday movie nights, Tia will never know. This is not a perfect family, and they are not her family.

Taglist: If you are in this list you have expressed interest in the series (either through likes/reblogs or by asking). If it’s crossed out your tag didn’t work. If you would like to be removed or added to the list send me an ask:

@nicoleloveshockey@emsully2002@hockeypucksposttspost@ashleymarine@albal321@b34ut1fulb4st4rds@biznastysloneshift12@burkylover@c-tangerine@canadian-girl87@crazzyfann@dana-hqy@delighttfulll@evawest5@every-beautifulthing-thereis@greendragonzz@heatherawoowoo@hockeybabe87@hockeyinaussie@hockeyisit@hockeypuckedmeup@holyalfalfasprout@je-ne-regrette-rien@localcalumhoe@partypoison00@princesscameston@puccbunni@queenmarvel21@sixmapleleafs@starswin@trashforbarzal@0kikina0@1-fuzzy-squirrels@janeydeaux@stuff4me2do@afuturemilf @eclecticfashionbookszipper@callsign-denmark @monnbc@simpgirl-lat@huneyjojo221@idfan21@elly-dx @samanthasgone

[cute-as-buttons]

Unfinished Wip

so i started this back in like. july and never ended up finishing. but i do wanna show it, so here it is, spam me w questions about this au i miss it</3

TW: alcohol and blood

~

20th May 2019

New York, USA

Spring, to Marcy, has always seemed like the seasons were walking a tightrope, trying to strike a perfect balance between the damp, chill wind that kissed your cheeks as it blew past you and the humid, heavy atmosphere, almost enough to be suffocating, but not quite. She knew the scales would tip soon enough, that the humidity would overpower the chill and pass into summer, but for now, she simply enjoyed the weather as she strolled down the street, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. 

A few strides later, she stood in front of a bookstore that had come to be her favourite place in the past few months. 

The Dream House wasn't anything special, in fact, it was quite underwhelming. It was a small bookstore, sequestered in the middle of two other buildings and aside from the hand-painted sign that alluded to the store's existence, it was plain enough that it could go completely unnoticed.

The bell gave a short, shrill ring as she opened the door, smiling, ready to find her way to the counter, trying to sneak up on Anne. She never succeeded, but that didn't mean she couldn't try. But she stopped in her tracks when she noticed that one of the beanbags was occupied today. 

The blonde seated on it - or rather, sinking into it, a book open in her lap - stared at her, eyes narrowed, more in confusion than anything else. Sasha Waybright pursed her lips as she sat up a little straighter. 

"Have I seen you before?" Sasha asked, waving her hand around before muttering,"  déjà vu ." 

Marcy smiled. Just because she got lucky once didn't mean she'd get lucky every time. Besides, she was used to this song and dance, and so was Anne.

"Marcy Wu," she said, bowing a little. She didn't think she imagined the pleasant flush that coloured her cheeks. "At your service."

"Marcy Wu?" Sasha echoed, her eyes snapping to Anne, who was lost in the sea of shelves, placing books on them. "Is this-"

"Yup," Anne nodded, smiling. Marcy couldn't count how many times Anne had introduced Marcy as her girlfriend, partner, but her eyes always lit up the same way. 

Sasha's composure changed as she stood up and walked up to Marcy, stopping mere steps away from her. She looked her up and down and then smiled, not quite sincere, but it was enough for Marcy. 

"Nice to meet you, Marcy," Sasha said and then turned to Anne. "About time."

Anne simply shook her head and continued arranging the books on their shelves. 

"Well, I'll be on my way," Sasha said, turning away fast, book in hand, waving to Anne, before turning to Marcy with a sweet, slightly unnerving smile. 

"Don't be a stranger, Marcy."

Not likely, thought Marcy, knowing that the moment she'd walk out that door, she wouldn't remember Marcy. She remembered when that had been like a sharp pain every time like spikes were digging into her. Now it was a dull ache, the kind you never really got used to but one you just had to live with. 

"Not a library!" Anne called, poking her head out, and snorted as she received a particularly rude middle finger in the air as she flung the door open and left. Anne sighed, though Marcy saw a smile tugging at her lips. 

"One day," Marcy said, crossing over to Anne. "One day, I'll get her to like me." 

"Best of luck," Anne said, doing her best to hold back a grin as she reached for Marcy's hand. Marcy frowned. 

"You're supposed to be on my side," Marcy said, pouting but smiling a second later as Anne laughed. 

"Always am," said Anne, squeezing her hand. 

"So, where are we off to today?" Marcy asked.

Anne grinned. 

Over the years, she'd learnt to read smiles. Some were for the sake of show, vanishing the second they were sure no one could see them. There were the sad smiles that were like weak streams of sunlight breaking through a cloudy day. And then there were the wild grins, the wide smiles, that covered your whole face and reached your eyes, crinkling the skin beneath them. 

Anne's was the third one.

"It's a surprise," she said, wiggling her eyebrows.

Marcy couldn't wait to find out what it was.

21st May 1719

Hsinchu, Taiwan

Bad days warrant rainy, cloudy skies. They warrant horrible weather that should reflect the hollowness Marceline feels, that reflects that the world has turned upside down.

But nature does not seem to care for her nor her days, and carries on, the trees murmuring amongst themselves, dancing as the wind snakes through them, almost mischievous. The sky is clear save for a few puffy white clouds and the blazing sun.

It's a perfect day.

It should have been a perfect day.

And on what should have been a perfect day, she runs.

She runs as far as her legs will take her, ignoring that it's not far enough, it'll probably never be because her legs are beginning to tire.

Not yet,  she pleads.  Please, just a little longer.

She's a liar, and her biggest victim is herself.

How many more lies?

When she can't run anymore, when she falls to the ground, she heaves as she rests her forehead against the hard ground, the gravel and soil digging into her skin. There on the ground, she prays.

Prays to whatever god is listening.

"Please," she whispers. "Please, help me."

She doesn't know who listens, but she does know none of them answer.

She doesn't notice the sun dip in the distance. She doesn't notice the clouds turn pink, then orange, then grey as the stars come out, shining above her like tiny little embers of fire.

She doesn't notice when it gets dark.

She just keeps begging.

"Please."

"My dear," a voice says, and she bites her tongue to keep herself from screaming. "Begging is not a credit to one such as you."

She looked up, trying to get back as she did.

"Whatever you do," Andrias' voice rang in her ears. "Don't pray to the gods who answer after dark."

Shit.

Darkness swirls around her and, at her shock, makes a sound that sounds an awful lot like laughter. Laughter that glitches and echoes.

"Would you prefer a form you'd recognise better?"

She feels a searing pain in her forehead and shuts her eyes, and a moment later she hears that voice again.

"Is this adequate?"

Through her blurry vision, she registers what she thinks is her... ma?

She's almost certain that it's Olivia, but before she can confirm, the darkness changes again. 

"How about this?"

Mom?

But Yunan disappears in another gust of wind, and when it settles back down, Marceline's mind is screaming at her, to run, to do anything.

"Ah! I think I like this one."

A woman stands in front of her, and Marceline gapes at her and swallows a metallic taste in her mouth. Did she bite her tongue that hard?

The woman, she...it can't-

But whatever lie Marceline tries to tell herself, it falls flat against the obvious truth in front of her. The woman looks exactly like the woman Marceline has seen in her dreams, the one she draws over and over and over again. 

The woman smiles, slow and sweet, and for a moment, Marceline is lost in it, lost in the dream of what she's longed for for so long. The same curly brown hair, the same warm brown eyes.

"You called on me," the woman says. "Why?" 

Marceline swallows hard. 

"I-I need your help." 

"Help? I'm a god, Marceline Wu, not someone running a charity organization." The woman sneers, ignoring the way Marceline flinches at her name. "I deal in kind, not in "please"s. Everything has a price. And what is it that  you  want?"

"I want to be free," Marceline said, relieved at the easy answer. "Free to learn, free to read, free to explore without any constraints, without anything holding me back." She held up her ring, still tied around her neck." In exchange for this." 

The ring was wooden, carved by her mom, Yunan. It had been a wedding gift to her ma, but when Marceline had been born, her ma had strung it on a chain and placed it around her neck. 

The carvings on it were of flowers she didn't recognise but she was familiar with the carvings on the underside of it. 

Thi gong thia gong lang. 

God loves stupid people. 

She remembered frowning when she'd first read it and asked her parents. Her mom had laughed until she'd gotten a belly ache, but her ma had explained. 

"Never take proverbs at face value," she'd told her. "They never mean what they seem to. And neither does this one. It means that God loves people the same way a mother loves her child."

And now, she held it forward, the last possession she had. She flinched when the woman laughed, her voice reverberating through Marceline's bones.

"I must say, Marceline, I expected more than this dull request and meaningless trinkets. If that is all you want, I say no."

She casts the ring aside and turns to smoke. 

Marceline almost falls forward as she tries to catch at the hem of the woman's dress, her hands catching at nothing but shadows slipping from her.

"Wait," she calls out. "What- what will you have of me to grant me my request?"

The darkness circles back to her, surrounding her.

"What will I have of you?" It hisses, all the sweetness gone, metallic again. "I am the night, I am darkness itself, and I've always dealt in just one currency. What I will have of you is your soul."

"No," Marceline says, standing up. Her legs feel like they're on fire. "You don't want just my soul, do you?"

It's a shot in the dark, but when the darkness shakily transforms back into the woman, she knows she's hit the mark.

"What do you mean?"

Marceline almost smiles.

"I mean that you can't really sustain a physical form for too long, can you? It takes a lot of energy, almost too much and in the end, for hours, maybe even days, you're a wisp of nothing but shadow and smoke. What you want is a body you can use."

Its edges bristle, and now, she does smile and continues.

"And if you grant my wish. You can have my body when I don't want it anymore."

The woman smiles and pulls Marceline close, into a hug, and for a moment she thinks it's a tender gesture until she feels a pain in her back, running the course of her spine. 

"You drive an interesting bargain, Marceline. I accept."

The last thing she feels before she falls deep into unconsciousness is the ground beneath her as she falls.

21st June, 2018

New York, USA

In the dark, as the sky is enveloped with wind and rain, a girl with a broken heart walks down the street, hand bleeding from the bottle that accidentally cut her hand, the make-shift bandage that was a strip torn from her shirt she'd used to wrap it almost soaked. 

Anne can feel the numbness set in, but it does nothing to ease the pain. If anything, it makes it worse.

God, maybe she isn't drunk enough yet. She shouldn't have left, especially when the bartender had taken one look at her and declared that drinks were on him. She should have been suspicious, but she didn't care enough to.

She fumbles with the lock as she reaches her apartment door, shoving it open and slamming it shut as she throws the keys away. 

She enters the bathroom, forcing down the bile she feels rising in her throat. She opens the tap, letting her palm soak through before she realises that she should probably take the cloth off. She does, and a dull, distant part of her brain registers the sting in her palm. She takes a bottle of antiseptic - or maybe it is sanitiser - and applies it to the wound.  

When she glances up, her eyes fall on her reflection, and everything in her seems to recoil at the sight of her own face.

You're not enough. 

That's what everyone has told her her entire life, just in different ways. 

You can do better, sweetie.

We're still proud of you.

(Still...No you're not.)

Not you. 

(Not me?) 

There’s just something missing. 

(Missing…) 

It’s just … 

(Who you are.)

I just don’t see us ending up together. 

I’m sorry. 

We’re not in the same place. 

We can’t help who we fall in love with. 

(And who we don’t.) 

You deserve better. 

(No, I don't.)

Let’s stay friends. 

I don’t want to lose you. 

It’s not you. 

I’m sorry. 

Sorry.

Sorry.

It's too much. It's just too much, always has been. Ever since she was younger, it's always been too much, and she's been labelled emotional, sensitive, a fool, immature, but she knows none of those words fit. She knows something is wrong, and that's not it.

Anne steps back and digs her hand into the bottle, but the next second she lets out a scream as she hurls the bottle at the mirror. Her reflection fractures as the mirror transforms into a rainfall of tiny glass shards, many of which launch towards her, leaving faint scratches. 

She heaves for a moment before she drops to the floor, water still flowing, as she curls into herself, hiding her face among her knees.

26 and still no direction.

She'd counted and asked herself to take a drink.

Take a drink if you're not the right fit. 

Not the right focus. 

Not the right child. 

Not the right time. 

Not the right job. 

Not the right past. 

Not the right present. 

Not the right future. 

Not the right you.

Not you.

She knows,  damn it.

She knows she's not enough.

"What do you want?"

She doesn't even bother flinching, convinced that she's hallucinating. A woman stands in front of her, smiling at her, like Anne's entire world doesn't feel like it's fracturing right in front of her. 

"What do you want?" she repeats. "In this moment, right now?"

"To be happy," Anne mumbles, more to herself than the woman and doesn't think the woman has heard her, but she smiles.

"Only you can give yourself that," she says. Anger rises in Anne, bubbling over all the misery. She steadies herself up, slightly swaying.

"You asked what I want, not what I can give myself," she growls. "I can't give myself  anything,  because I know I'll never get it." She's shouting now, and she should stop, but she can't, can't stop the flood of words that rush out now that the damn has finally broken. "I don't know what they fucking want from me, I try to be enough, be happy, but it's never enough, and," her voice breaks. "I'm just so tired of falling short. I'm so tired."

She slumps against the wall.

"It hurts."

"Anne," the woman says, stepping a little closer. "Look at me."

Anne almost hisses at her, but she's too tired, so when the woman lifts her chin with her hand, she lets her.

"You're perfect."

And Anne has to laugh at that, despite the soft silky voice.

"You'd think people would be better at lying."

The woman shakes her head.

"Pain can be beautiful-"

"Like hell, it can."

"-and," she says as if Anne hasn't spoken. "It can transform, create."

"I don't want to be in pain," Anne croaks, all the energy drained from her. "I just..."

"You want to be loved."

"Yes," she whispers. 

"I can give you that."

"It's that easy?"

"If you're willing to pay, yes."

"I hate to tell you, but I'm pretty broke right now."

A grin, like it's been slashed open with a knife.

"Not that kind of payment. The one thing every human has, what every hero trades to the devil."

"My-my soul? I don't even believe in-"

"Then you have nothing to lose."

She stands there, staring for a long, long time, maybe it was minutes, maybe hours, maybe even days. She doesn't know.

All she knows is in the end, there is just one thing to say. One, simple word.

"Yes."

20th May, 2019

New York, USA

What Marcy'd always loved most about cities was that they never go quiet. The noise dampened in the night, but it never really went quiet the way it does in the rural areas. If she was being honest with herself, she liked it because it reminded her of home.

She glanced at the time as she nestled herself in blankets. It was too hot for it, but it was comfortable. Really, she was allowed this, at least. 

She reached for Anne's hand as she rested her head, yelping as she drowned in the pillows for a moment. She heard Anne laugh and pull her closer. Marcy smiled and let her eyes wander back to the time.

11:56. 20th May.

Her insides twisted as she felt fear claw at her stomach. The world seemed to fade away, and somewhere far off, she heard the clock fall from her hand.

Somewhere far off, she heard Anne ask, "Hey, Marce, you okay?"

Calm down. They haven't shown their face in 40 years.

They're not going to unless you call on them.

Her hand went to her neck, the wooden ring safely nestled on her clavicle. She was both bitter and grateful for it.

"Marcy."

Her head snapped towards Anne, tousled hair and a worried face. Marcy shook her head and pulled Anne in, burying her head in Anne's shoulders.

"What's up, dude?"

The only words Marcy managed to choke out were, "Anniversary tomorrow."

Anne's hands tightened around her, and she rested her chin on Marcy's head. A new panic seized Marcy. They couldn't find out about Anne. 

She couldn't let them take the one good thing she still had, the only good thing.

"We won't-"

"You have to leave," Marcy said, pulling back. Hurt registered on Anne's face before she schooled it back to worry. "I can't- they can't-"

"I know," Anne said, taking Marcy's hands in her own. "But they're a creature of the night, right? We have until then." Marcy opened her mouth to protest but couldn't find the words. "Listen, if you want me to, I won't follow, I'll leave, but just for the day, as long as the sun is up, let me be with you."

Marcy felt herself nod.

Anne smiled and pulled Marcy down onto the bed. She kissed her forehead and muttered.

"Sleep."

But she stayed awake the entire night, letting Anne's snores and the noises outside distract her. 

Only when the sun came up did she feel herself drift off.

22nd June, 2018

New York, USA

Anne wakes up, and her first instinct is to wince at the sudden pain in her hand. When she looks at it, there is a clean bandage neatly tied around her palm, and a watch she could've sworn isn't hers. 

She unclips it and studies it. It looks ancient, something her mom might've worn, silver and gold-flecked. Underneath the dial, were two words. 

Live well.

She snorted. 

Sure, why not?

She massages her head and puffs out a breath. God, maybe she shouldn't have drunk that much. And that weird fever dream after...

She leaves the watch on her nightstand and makes her way to the kitchen, but stops when she hears the doorbell ring. 

She frowns, opening it and almost being thrown to the ground as Sprig and Polly hug her. 

"Guys, what-"

"We heard about Sasha," Polly says, squeezing her tight until Anne has to flail her arms to gesture that she does, in fact, need to breathe. 

When they let go, apologising, the weight of what they've said settles in.

"What happened with Sasha." 

She hates how it still makes her stomach turn. She'd known that what they had wasn't right, it wasn't good for both of them, not as they were. What she hadn't known was how much it would hurt being told that. 

Maybe it would've hurt less if Sasha had screamed, and made a scene. But all she'd done was do her best not to cry and tell Anne that they should end things. 

That they are and will always be friends. 

"I still love you, just not. I just can't love you like that." 

It had felt like someone had been squeezing her heart.